#it then will be gender neutral Sole for all the --bright side-- noskipnovember of my formula

[sassenashsworld]

Nick stuck in his office

(mew?)

The List

It’s been a while. It’s been a long time since things have changed.

Things.

Nick leans on the back of his chair, gazing out in the void. He remembers when the first change occurred in his life. The first moment he felt something... abnormal. It was the very moment when the door to vault 114 opened, not on a thug but on a vault dweller. A vault dweller in a vault has something funny in itself in the situation he was in. Then he find that this very person, as they went out of their way to get his poor little synth ass out of his dead end, was also getting the Minutemen out of the dust of their oblivion.

They had come a long way. On the trail of Kellogg, Virgil... the Institute... And some detours along the way to help all the poor lost souls they encounter.

"Nick, did you finish with the Fyfe file?" suddenly asks his secretary, Ellie.

Nick quickly returns to the present, startled from his reverie.

“Uh, yeah..yeah.” He stands up from his chair and crosses the office to Ellie, placing some sheets of paper onto her desk. “Sorry for that; I wasn’t paying attention.”

"Obviously. But, eh, that's my job to keep you back on track. What do you think?"

“Yeah, yeah, I know...” Nick shakes his head and sighs, “Just thinkin’...” He glances at the file on Ellie’s desk. “...the Fyfes are a real piece of work, huh?”

“Yes.” She looks down at his notes. “They had what they were seeking—never listening to their son.”

“Damn fools for not listenin' to the damn kid,” Nick mutters under his breath, leaning against Ellie’s desk.

"But what a chance they fall on the Great Synth Detective and his assistant," she remarks, a thin smile on her face. “Where is Sole anyway?”

Nick tries to keep his voice unwavering.

“Sole’s gone to meet with Preston about something. Didn’t tell me much, but somethin’ about a missing persons case, I think?”

"And they didn't ask you to tag along?" Is surprise Ellie.

And Nick, as well. He was surprised that Sole didn't ask him. Sole always asks him since... since they first met and teamed up. Never seems to be a day since when Nick doesn't travel with Sole. Or Sole works with Nick.

Nick frowns, feeling a tinge of confusion and worry in his heart.

“Yeah… Guess they didn’t... thought... it's... odd.”

Usually, Sole always wants him to tag along if they’re going off on some sort of case, especially if it was a missing persons case. They’d always ask him to join them if that was the case. Why didn't they invite him this time?

“Maybe they wanted to just chat with the Garvey man alone...” Nick tries to offer as an explanation to Ellie’s words, but he can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right.

Why hadn’t Sole asked him to come along?

Nick tries to shake off the resentment that is trying to make room in his core. Or his processor. He still has difficulty locating his emotions in a... synthetic body... with a human mind.

One soul?

Sole seems adamant on the subject. Since they and Nick closed the case of Eddie Winter, Sole no longer lets Nick down talk himself. Nick can hardly use self-mockery without the General riding on their big horse about it.

Nick lets a small chuckle escape his lips as he thinks of the many times Sole had reprimanded him for speaking down upon himself. He can practically hear their voice scolding him, their hand on their hip, their eyebrow raised, disapproving of his cynical tongue.

Ellie raises an eyebrow at his chuckle.

"Some funny though?"

Nick shakes his head, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Just remembering some of the times I’ve been scolded by the Sole Survivor for my cynical tongue. Always gettin’ on my ass for my bad habits.”

"Just good they do," she answers, getting her attention back on the paper to classify. "At least, you listen to them."

Yes. Nick can't deny it. He listens to them. He is even surprising himself. He never really listens since... since he wakes up as a synth. How could a human relate to him? He even attempted to reason with Sole a few times, but his friend held a completely different perspective on the situation. Nick had really a hard time wrapping his mind around the stubbornness of Sole on this matter.

"I don't need to be a synth with the long-lost memory of a man to know you ARE your own man and a good one. And that you deserve all the better."

He closes his eyes and sighs; he can hear Sole’s voice in his mind, their words echoing around his programming.

“Damn stubborn bastard,” he mumbles quietly, but he has a small smile on his face as the memories of his friend and all the things they’ve done together flood his mind.

The case of Jack Cabot... The Institute... The Railroad... Nick and Sole had been through so much together; he’d grown so accustomed to their presence... He wondered if his friend was doing alright.

Ellie returns her gaze to him.

"You are worse than ever, you know? I am accustomed to your zone-out and your self-mumbling. But today, you really appear elsewhere. You sure are alright?"

Nick doesn’t answer for a few seconds, silently contemplating Ellie’s question. Was he alright? He couldn’t be sure of that for himself.

“Yeah, yeah… everything’s fine.  Just... ah... somethin’ on my mind,” he responds after a while, still remaining leaned against her desk.

His secretary frowns, but Nick shakes his head and returns to his own desk, looking in his drawer for a pack of cigarettes.

“It’s dinnertime. You should get something to eat,” he recommends to his secretary.

"Is there another elegant method to request solitude for your menacing thoughts?"

Nick grimace. He could not say that his thoughts are dark. Just... strange... almost nostalgic.

“Oh, shut up, I don’t need you fussin’ and prying into my thoughts,” Nick mutters, half jokingly.

He fishes a cigarette out of his pack, places it between his lips, and lights it. His eyes wander around the room, not focusing on or even really looking at anything in particular.

The young woman sighs and gets up.

“Need anything? A schedule with Arturo for a tune-up?”

Arturo no longer regularly performs Nick's tune-ups. Sole is so much a hell of an engineer. Arturo has made it, but Sole is just... a high class over.

Nick shakes his head, taking a long drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke billow from his mouth.

“No, no. I’m fine.”

His eyes wander back over to the door, as if expecting it to burst open and for his friend to stride in, a smile on their face. But there was no such thing. Nick tries not to feel disappointed. He had no reason to. He glances at the clock above the door. When would they be back?

Ellie finally leaves the office, letting Nick all alone. Why did the detective feel like that? What is he feeling exactly? When did it really have begun? He is really puzzled about himself just now.

Being alone with his thoughts was not a beneficial thing in the end. He couldn’t keep his mind from going over the times he and Sole have spent together; he couldn’t stop wondering why they hadn’t asked him to come along on their trip to the Commonwealth, and he kept worrying something terrible was going to happen to them.

Nick lets out a heavy, frustrated sigh. He’d probably just sit here worrying his ass off until they return.

Nick sighs again and takes a seat in his chair. He takes another drag from his cigarette; the smoke plumes out of his mouth.

He should be used to being alone. He’d been alone for the most of his existence, only really having Ellie and the occasional client to talk to.

He’d gotten used to having Sole around, though, he’d gotten so used to having them near and always around.

Damn it, why did he feel so worried and weird about them leaving?

The door opens again, and Nick doesn't even bother to look in it's direction at first.

“Forget somethin', Ellie?” He asks, taking another drag from his cigarette before finally looking up towards the door.

He quickly stops himself before his next sentence when he sees that it’s not Ellie who has returned.

“Sole...” Nick mutters, feeling slightly surprised and confused.

His coolant as his processor speed up slightly, which he tried to ignore. He didn’t understand why it did that, but it usually does in situations like this. He places his cigarette down.

“Nick, sorry. I know you should have worried, but I will explain you all,” they swiftly tell him with a smile.

Nick can’t help but smile back at them, their smile brightening his entire world. The strange anxiety, worry, and confusion he was feeling just a few minutes ago seems to melt away. His circuits warm up at the sight of his friend; his core is almost leaping, his fans drifting up faster and faster. Damn it, why did they always have this effect on him?

Why did they make him feel like this?

Nick clears his throat after a few seconds.

“Ah… welcome back. Thought you were Ellie for a minute, heh…”

He stands up from his chair and approaches them, stuffing his hands into his trench coat pockets.

And Sole is just eager to tell him all they’ve gone through, as always. And Nick is just eager to hear it all.

As Always.

And as Nick stands in front of them, he realizes just how much he’s missed them, how much he’s missed spending time with them and talking with them just like this.

Their smile, their laugh, their eyes...

Damn it. He missed them more than he liked to admit.

And as his friend brightly smiles up at him, Nick finally understands.

Everything falls into place.

All his questioning finds an answer.

As the smile of Sole warms up all his old, beaten-up circuits, Nick understands that the reason why he is so trouble lately is because Sole has finally given something to his synth life he never had before.

Nick is happy.