#it sucks that she thinks thats all shes worth and that she has to encounter light who only plays into that and makes it worse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kaibacorpintern · 4 years ago

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hi i forgot the ship name but would u write something thats seto and ryou? (platonic or romantic) where they play a ttrpg together or somethin idk

“or somethin idk” give me an inch, i have run a mile. a mile of 4.7k words.

platonic euroshipping. post-canon. ryou applies for a game writer position at kaibacorp and makes it to the final stage. contains: dragons, swords, some very sexy things about solidvision and the virtual world, kaiba covered in blood and having a great time, me the writer having a great time, hopefully you the reader having a great time, and ryou, not covered in blood, having a very, very, very anxious time

tw for some fantasy violence

++++++

Ryou inhaled, taking a deep breath of: the fresh, sweet smell of grass, the coolness of river water, something dry and grey in the wind, slightly rotten - smoke? And sulfur. The grasses were filled with the restless susurrus of the wind, each blade quivering with anticipation. Above him, a hawk tilted in lazy, wide circles, tracking the hidden paths of its prey. He stood on a dusty path halfway up the long slope of a steep hillside, the farmlands of the valley behind him peeled back to reveal the burned, blackened devastation beneath. The village from this distance looked like the charcoal remains of a bonfire, the air still shimmering with heat.

The sun itself was hot, making him sweat in the thick, coarse silk of his mage’s robe, every purple thread saturated with light and heat. Mopping sweat from his brow, Ryou opened his options menu, the holographic display falling open, in the guise of an illuminated manuscript, and hovering at waist-height in thin air, perfectly tilted for reading. The parchment was old and yellowed, almost velvet to the touch, the edges frayed with age, and he couldn’t resist the urge to smell it, leaning in cautiously to take an experimental whiff. Strong notes of dust, old ink, age; an undertone of knowledge, of the forbidden kind.

He selected Player Appearance and the page turned, with weight and heft, to reveal another. Kaiba didn’t miss a beat. Ryou had no doubt if he knelt down to drink from the stream that flowed down the slope, folding in clear ribbons past the rocks, the water would run cold over his fingers until they pruned. And the magic effects?

He swallowed. It was not just the sun that was making him sweat.

He’d just changed into something more practical - a short-sleeved green tunic, a pair of white breeches, leather boots that had just a bit of bite to the fit, like the player had to wear them in - when a chime pealed out from six feet away, as though someone had rung an invisible bell. The air tore apart, in odd, geometric anguish, like a broken mirror twisting into itself -

and there was Kaiba, standing in the knee-high grass in his customary black turtleneck and tight pants, frowning with his arms crossed.

“Hello,” Ryou said. “It’s so nice to see you again. Your technology is... this is amazing. The attention to detail is incredible. The player screen, with the parchment - it even smells like - ”

“What is this? Medieval?” Kaiba said, glancing around at his clothes, the distant village, taking no notice of his praise; Ryou bit his tongue in self-rebuke. As if buttering him up with compliments was going to help.

“Western Europe. From the mid-11th century to the 12th. The age of knights and chivalry,” he said, deciding that maybe his best strategy was to simply be straightforward.

“I’m familiar with basic history, thank you. How... classic,” Kaiba said, in a tone that screamed disinterest, and Ryou’s heart began to plummet - already starting from behind? No, no, no, he reminded himself, straightening the slouch out of his shoulders. Yuugi had warned him about this. Kaiba was fantastically tough to impress, in general, and the Virtual World was his world, a realm he'd built with sweat and tears, and stolen back with blood. So he hand-picked every writer that wrote for Virtual World games, refusing to squander a single pixel on conventional nonsense and uninspired cliché.

The last step - before he brought the axe down - was a short, playable demo, as proof of concept, written by the applicant and executed by the Virtual World team.

Ryou had come this far in the application process. Trust that, Yuugi said. And trust yourself.

Kaiba was looking at him, eyebrows arched with expectant curiosity.

“Er,” Ryou said. “Let’s get started, then. You’ll need to change.”

He pulled up the menu, revelling in the hovering parchment once more, and changed Kaiba’s appearance, like - like magic, the lines of Kaiba’s silhouette rippling like a sine wave from the bottom up, his modern-day clothing becoming a knee-length tunic of chainmail under a belted dark blue surcoat. Kaiba held still throughout the entire transformation, in smug admiration of the effect, his arms held out in a ballet dancer’s pose as chainmail draped down his shoulders to his wrists.

In his right hand appeared, with a sharp, diamond flash of light, a long arming sword, the edge nicked with age and bloodspill. The hilt was black, with a sapphire gleaming in the pommel. A plain shield dropped onto his left forearm.

He gave the sword an experimental spin, testing the heft with practiced ease, and slid it back into the leather scabbard on his belt.

“A knight, the charred, smoking remains of a village… I’m assuming I’m on a quest to kill a dragon?” he said, pushing back the hood of the chainmail so that it draped off his shoulders, and nodding up the slope to where the grasses tattered into rocky shale.

“Yes, you can assume that,” Ryou said politely.

On cue, a child no more than twelve years old staggered up the dusty path from the village, her small torso heaving with breath, sweat and tears running in clean streaks down her soot-stained face.

“Sir Knight,” she choked out. Flashing a look at Ryou that said cheap blow, but unable to deny his own fraternal instinct, Kaiba dropped to one knee and caught her, his hands swallowing her thin, shuddering shoulders. Playing along, at least.

“Calm down,” he said, steadying her. Ryou imagined his anxiety as a small, hard rock, packing in the twist of every fraying nerve, and leaned all his weight onto one foot, grinding the rock into the dirt with his heel. "What is it?”

“They sent me to warn you, about the dragon,” she panted. “They said only the Chosen One can truly defeat the dragon, and bring peace back to the land. Many have tried. All suffered the same terrible fate - a fate worse than death.”

“I see,” Kaiba said. “And who is the Chosen One?”

The girl glanced at Ryou over Kaiba’s shoulder, her eyes glinting with fear.

“No - no one knows,” she said. “But all the oracles say they’re coming… a knight with a pure and worthy heart. Sir Knight, don’t go. Come back to the village. It’s safe there. What do you gain from this? Our humble lands aren’t worth the danger!”

“I think they are,” Kaiba said, thumbing soot off her face, and frowning as her cheek pixelated, briefly, and resumed a skin-like texture. "Open master commands, user ID 000002510. Initiate master log. Begin recording: skin-to-skin contact glitch reappeared during writer play-test, candidate Bakura, R. Begin patch work immediately. End recording. Disperse to Virtual World team, flag Sawada, project manager. Close master commands. Did you know, one of the most compelling unsolved problems in physics is the lack of a theory that realizes both general relativity and quantum mechanics?”

The girl gave him a wary look, wide-eyed with faint alarm. Ryou sucked in a breath, grinding the anxiety rock down, down, down.

“You - you speak in tongues, Sir Knight," she said. "Are you also an oracle? Has your future-sight failed you? Don’t you see that only death lives on the mountain?”

Kaiba snorted and stood up, turning to Ryou. “A solid response to non-standard player input. Doesn’t ignore modern concepts, but re-contextualizes them in the setting of this world via a framework of prophecy, and redirects the player to the plot.”

“Um... thank you?” Ryou said. “I wanted this world to feel like it has a future, too, not just a history. I wanted to place it on a timeline, like it - ”

Kaiba’s attention swung back to the girl, still standing there with her eyes darting between them, full of bafflement.

“Return to the village, girl. Tell them my future-sight never fails me.”

The girl retreated backwards, warily, twisted on her heel, and fled down the path.

"If I go down to the village, what'll I find?" Kaiba said.

"More information about the Chosen One, and an outlaw who tries to recruit you to her band of thieves, with the option to join them for a stealth-based quest.”

"Hm. You have the imagination and the decency to offer me something other than blatant bait, which I don't always bite. The cliché of the Chosen One is boring as hell, it’s both over-done and deterministic, but I think... yes. Yes, I'll bite. Let's go see your dragon."

In the wake of this... compliment?, Ryou could only offer him a small, tentative smile, his heart clenching tight around Yuugi's advice.

Kaiba started up the path.

“Er, Kaiba - you might want to check your inventory before you encounter the dragon."

Kaiba’s hand padded around his waist until he found the small satchel that sat on his hip. Another parchment unfurled in the air before him, listing its contents:

Two full healing spells;

Two glamour spells, for changing the guise of a person or object;

Two transformation spells, for changing a person or an object into an animal;

Two scrying spells, for locating people or objects;

Two ignis spells, for commanding fire;

Two aqua spells, for commanding water; and

Two ventus spells, for commanding wind.

Ryou watched him as he read. He'd carved a small, thick groove into the dirt below his foot. Surely, that was enough for Kaiba to get creative?

Kaiba only closed the parchment with a brisk flick of his hand. Then he started up the mountain, Ryou following nervously behind.

***

The mountain path was rougher than Ryou expected, a tightly-coiled spring of switchbacks, leading to the curved lip of a high pass. After several minutes of trudging the dust in silence, he was panting for breath, his feet aching and blistering in their boots, and deeply regretting adding this little detail to the story. Next time, he was just going to put the dragon on a rolling, grassy plain, and he’d make it like an American autumn corn maze, because it still needed to be a challenge, and when the players got to the center they’d find the dragon’s decaying, rotting corpse and realize they’d been stuck inside the maze for five hundred years and everyone they loved was dead, and if they wanted to go back to their own time they’d have to find out how to resurrect the dragon, but only at a terrible cost, a sacrifice of some kind... Not his best off-the-cuff work, but there were usable concepts in there, somewhere. If there was a next time.

Despite being laden down with the chainmail, each tiny link flashing like fish scales in the airy slanting of the afternoon sun, Kaiba seemed unaffected by the demands of the hike, propelling himself forward with long, energetic strides. How?

Ryou thought about asking for a break. Or drinking water from the stream. Or changing his boots for something comfier, but he didn't have anything else in his outfit inventory except the mage robes, and the slippers might be even worse… he stopped, hands on his hips, gathering his breath.

From here the valley sprawled below them, a wide, velvety plain, its edges rising and scalloped by mountains. The village fit in the circle of his thumb and forefinger, a smoking black thumbprint. The team had done a fantastic job: the stream ran down the mountain, flattened into a river, and ran south, lazy and serpentine, a green-blue ribbon cutting through the yellow plains, just like he’d outlined in his initial description of the world….

Wait.

This was all virtual.

There was no such thing as air, here, or rivers or sunshine or grasses.

His real, physical body was half-asleep in a Virtual World testing pod on the 17th floor of the Kaiba Corp Tower, and his body here was just a series of algorithms, and if he didn’t want to sweat, he didn’t have to fucking sweat! Thank God!

Up ahead, Kaiba noted the absence of his footfalls and turned around, one hand resting easily on his sword hilt. From his position on the path, he looked down at Ryou from several feet up, which doubled the intimidation of his already formidable bearing.

“I’m fine,” Ryou said. “Just... admiring the view.”

“Are you having your Matrix moment? That’s what my programmers call it,” Kaiba said.

Ryou laughed. “I think so. I was tired but I don't feel it at all, anymore. Like all the fatigue's just melted away and I could run a marathon.”

“Is that something you enjoy?”

“Oh, no. I hate sports.”

Kaiba snorted.

“So, tell me. Why do you want this job?” he said. “At my company? Writing stories with my technology?”

“Er - ” Blindsided by the swerve in topics, Ryou tripped over his thoughts. Surely he must’ve read his application? Maybe he didn’t have the time. Stick to straightforward. “I’m sure you remember my performance in Battle City?”

“Yes, I remember,” Kaiba said, which was honestly more than Ryou expected of him.

“Well, I don’t play much Duel Monsters anymore,” he said, “but I still.. every once in a while, I turn my Duel Disk on and play a few cards, just to see my monsters come out, see them breathe… you know I run a Zombie deck, full of demons and dead things, but SolidVision makes them feel so - so alive. You took these fantasy monsters that exist only in our heads and put them in our world.”

“Virtual World game writers don’t work on SolidVision products,” Kaiba countered.

“Right, I know that. To me, Virtual World and SolidVision are the inverse of each other, or opposites that contain each other, like, like yin and yang - with SolidVision, the unreal enters the real, and becomes real. In the Virtual World, the real - ” Ryou motioned to himself - “enters the unreal, and becomes unreal. We like to put walls between imagination and reality, you know, taxes are real and unicorns aren’t, but with SolidVision and Virtual World, there is no wall. That’s the world I want to write stories for.”

“Hm,” Kaiba said, the corner of his mouth curving up in a smile. “Interesting take.”

And he waited, saying nothing more, until Ryou realized he was waiting for him; and trotted lightly up the path to join him.

***

By the time they reached the top of the mountain pass, the air had turned a clear, dusky gold. The mountains cast long, black shadows across the valley, like dark teeth, chewing up the farmlands. The mountain pass was saddle-shaped, one side sloping down into the valley they’d just come from, the other flattening into a smaller, higher bowl, cupping a pale blue-green lake between its rocky palms.

Kaiba scrambled onto the nearest large rock, his head swinging as he scanned the lake valley. Ryou wrapped one arm around his waist and bit his thumb. They had found a deep, penetrating quiet, the kind of wilderness quiet that was devoid of texture of any kind; no bugs or burbling streams or bird song. It was not even like holding your breath, waiting, because that implied a coming moment of exhale, a sigh of relief. This was a perfect stillness.

And hidden somewhere inside it was a dragon.

Ryou bit harder, until he remembered the pain was fake and did nothing, and he had to come up with something else to temper his anxiety, which was definitely, definitely real.

Kaiba's gonna flip his shit when he sees your dragon, Yuugi said, from the back of Ryou's mind, Ryou's demo manuscript in hand. In a good way or a bad way? Is it too derivative? What does it matter that he'll flip his shit for my dragon when he flips his shit for ANY dragon? He's a slut for dragons. Oh my god, you can't say that! Yuugi, please, help - nope. You got this. You know what you're doing.

Even the metallic shing of Kaiba’s sword coming out of its sheath seemed small, in an unnatural way, a pointless, petty defiance.

A shadow fell across the lake valley.

Both of them looked up -

and an enormous dragon hurtled out of the sky, landing with thundering force on all four clawed feet, flattening trees and boulders beneath its reptilian bulk. Ryou staggered backwards and fell, in an awkward, clumsy crab pose; Kaiba threw his shield over his face and dug in, undaunted.

"HAVE YOU COME TO KILL ME?" the dragon boomed. “MISERABLE WRETCH?”

Kaiba lowered his shield, just enough for his first full look at the dragon. From his spot, crumpled on the ground, Ryou saw, in the shadow below the shield, another slender smile. The dragon’s hide was a dark, luxurious blue-black, mottled like snakeskin but textured with the heavy crags and knobs of crocodiles. It lowered its head on its long, arching neck, gracefully bearing the weight of two massive, curving horns, and stared down at them with fathomless acid-green eyes.

Even Ryou, who had designed it, sat enthralled: every movement it made - the eager flick of its tail, the claws, curling into the dirt, glinting under a layer of blood and grime, the shuddering of its leathery wings as they folded into its long body - hinted at indomitable power. It was a true creature of legend, a titan from the youngest days of the world, demanding both reverence and terror.

“I have!” Kaiba replied blithely, despite announcing it in a ringing voice.

“ONLY THE CHOSEN ONE CAN DEFEAT ME,” the dragon said. “YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A FEAT. I SEE YOUR HEART, BLACKGUARD KNIGHT. I CAN TASTE THE BLOOD YOU’VE SPILLED WITH YOUR SWORD, BRIGHT AND PUNGENT. I CAN HEAR THE CRIES OF ALL THE LIVES YOU’VE LET EBB INTO THE DIRT AT YOUR FEET!”

“I’m here to avenge the village!” Kaiba shouted.

“YOU COME UP HERE TO DEFEND SOME PATHETIC SCRAPS OF BRICK AND WOOD, THINKING YOU CAN KILL ME, AND CALL THAT HONOR? REDEMPTION? YOU CALL THAT COURAGE? ITS TRUE NAME IS VANITY! EMPTY AND FALSE! IT WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN BEFORE I DO!” the dragon boomed again. “LEAVE. I WAS ONCE NAIVE AND VAIN LIKE YOU. COME BACK WHEN YOU ARE MORE THAN A MERE WORM, OR ELSE SUFFER MY FATE!”

Ryou had clambered to his feet and bolted for the safety of a low ridge, which gave him a perfect view of Kaiba, head held high and proud as he gazed unflinching at the dragon, several hundred times his size. He’d written those words in his notebook on the metro, leaning his head against the cool midnight glass, pausing every other line to ferret out another piece of sour candy from his bag. Then he’d missed his stop. That trundling, light-washed world of a train car seemed impossibly distant now - a rapidly fading dream, to be remembered only in flashes and silence. To hear the words come out of the smoking jaws of this dragon, each syllable flowing in a delicious, indulgent baritone from its shining teeth, filled him with a breathless exhilaration, his heart hammering in his throat - this was real!

“Only one of us is suffering fate today!” Kaiba shouted back, a laugh in his voice, and then threw a glance at Ryou. “‘Suffer my fate?’ Is that a typo?”

“VERY WELL. COME KILL ME! THERE IS PEACE IN DEATH, AND ONLY ONE OF US CAN CLAIM IT!”

“I - watch out!” Ryou yelled, as the dragon lunged forward, its jaws snapping shut on the empty air where Kaiba had been standing half a second before. Kaiba threw himself out of the way, a nimble tuck and roll, and scrabbled across the shale towards higher ground. Behind him, the dragon swung its massive head, nostrils red and flaring, mouth curled up in a savage draconic grin, glinting with the promise of violence.

No sooner had Kaiba flung himself behind a scattering of boulders, shield raised, than it unleashed a jet of fire so hot and scorching the boulders glowed red, their rough faces melting in sheets. Ryou felt the heat wash across his face, from several dozen yards away.

The fire died out. The dragon snorted in satisfaction, horse-like, a loud, wet huff of smoke. The boulders sizzled as they cooled into their new, bizarrely dripping forms.

Kaiba emerged from behind a boulder, sweating and singed, his face streaked with ash and his eyes shining. He tossed the warped, melted wreckage of his shield aside, where it bounced and clattered against the rocks.

“SO YOU STILL LIVE? A MISTAKE. WHAT COMES NEXT WILL HURT WORSE!”

“For you!” Kaiba hurled back, and threw his hand into the air, a gesture Ryou had seen countless times on a duel field - a lightning rod, a summoning. “VENTUS!”

The wind picked up, in a giddy, howling whirl, bringing with it a cloud of dust that descended gritty and blinding and pale across the valley. Kaiba and the dragon vanished from sight inside it. Mentally Ryou subtracted one spell from Kaiba’s satchel.

“THIS WON’T HELP Y - ” Cut off by a wet chop and an ear-splitting draconic scream, a raw, awful sound, torn out of an unwilling throat. Just below it, a glorious, cascading laugh. “WRETCH! WORM!”

The dust settled, revealing glistening, dark-green blood splattered across the rocks, and a single severed claw, its flesh still twitching. The dragon seethed, its wounded foot curled in agony. Kaiba was clear across the other side of the pass, by the dragon’s tail, grinning open-mouthed as he panted for breath. His chainmail and surcoat dripped with dragon blood; his hair was thick with it.

“COME GET YOUR PEACE, DRAGON!” he bellowed, and the dragon slung its head around, tail coiling in an ominous whip.

Again Kaiba lifted his hand, shouted “VENTUS - !”

And a second dust cloud barreled into the valley, as the dragon roared back, “THAT WON’T WORK AGAIN!”

It whipped its tail through the dust cloud, a scythe-like sweep - smacking something hard into the rocks with a thick, fleshy crunch of bone that made Ryou’s insides clench tight with terrified sympathy.

The dragon whirled around, clearing the dust with several storm-gathering wingbeats.

This was not real. This was just pixels, neatly arranged and running in rivers of algorithms - just a clever series of ones and zeroes - and yet Ryou gasped, the dragon laughing, at the sight of Kaiba lying in a crumpled, motionless heap in the rocks. He hadn’t considered Kaiba might actually fail to kill the dragon - all thoughts of jobs and game-writing abandoned - unreality aside, the mind had a way of making it real - what the fuck happened if Kaiba died?

“IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE, WORM?” the dragon said, nudging Kaiba’s limp body with its claws, rolling him over. His head lolled, his body twisted into a horrifying, broken-boned slouch. How on earth was Ryou going to explain this to Yuugi? Hell. “I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE NOT W - ”

Ryou almost didn’t see it - a hawk in a dive, arrow-straight, from the top of the sky, diving through a blinding flash of light several stories up - and out of the light came Kaiba, alive and whole, plummeting towards the dragon’s head, gripping his sword with both hands - plunging it straight through the top of the dragon’s skull.

He left the sword hilt-deep in dragon flesh as he pitched forward with the force of impact, rolling over the dragon’s brow, flailing to catch himself - on the massive horn. Clinging, victorious, as the great dragon swayed, its green eyes filming, and finally slumped, in agonized slow motion, to the earth, body first, head last, with a thundering, bone-rattling crash.

It released one last, rattling breath, the trees shuddering in the fetid breeze.

The valley descended into stillness once more.

Ryou sat down on his low escarpment with a limp thump, burying his face in both hands. This was just a Virtual World, where at one point everything would power down and they’d wake up safe and sound in the squishy, air-conditioned comfort of a pod, and he had, after all, planned on Kaiba killing the dragon, but Kaiba’s sheer nerve seemed beyond that. Yuugi was right. The guy was, maybe, a little nuts. Completely off his rocker.

“Ryou,” Kaiba said, above him, and Ryou lifted his head. Kaiba rested the sword jauntily across his shoulder, the rest of him filthy with dragon blood and human blood and dirt. “I have to say, I enjoyed your dragon. A shame it had to die.”

“Your strategy... You used a glamour spell? On a... rock? To make it look like your dead body,” Ryou said. “And then a transformation spell.”

“Correct. Is that all for your demo?” Kaiba said, cocking an eyebrow, both bloody and disdainful, and Ryou swallowed. “I was hoping for more of a cha - ”

His words stopped hard in his throat, a harsh, hacking sound. His free hand flew to his neck, mouth dropping open in pain and confusion, eyes widening. He coughed - or tried to, achieving nothing more than a thin, ugly retching, his face going white - and Ryou watched, in fascinated horror, as his gamble began to play out. There was nothing he could do to help; he’d written it that way.

The sword clattered to the stones, green blood dripping off the shining edge, as Kaiba staggered sideways, gasping for breath, both hands on his neck - what was the algorithm doing to him? Ryou had only written ‘a suffocating, squirming pain, concentrated in the lungs,’ and resolved to think more carefully about what types of pain he might inflict on the player characters, if the gamble paid off... But how interesting to know even the creator of the Virtual World himself suspended his disbelief - his knowledge of the truth - sometimes, and indulged in pain...

He collapsed to his knees, stretching one hand out, fisting it around Ryou’s collar and dragging him closer -

“What - ” he choked out, eyes glaring into Ryou’s, in baffled, furious agony - terrified - they rolled backwards, the blue sliding away to white, as he slumped over himself.

His hand went slack and fell. What life remained slipped away in a low, shaking sigh.

Ryou took him by the shoulders and gently lay him down, passing a hand over his eyes to close them. Dead, but not really.

“Just hold on a moment,” he said. The body had been vacated. The soul - the player - was awakening elsewhere.

He waited a few moments, absorbing the stillness, the detail on the leaves of the pine trees; the way the lake water shimmered in golden flecks with late afternoon light. It was maybe his last few seconds to enjoy the world he’d written, rendered in full splendor by the magic of technology, and he’d banished his anxiety from both his mind and body, to live out its exile in the real world. It didn’t belong here.

The great dragon body began to stir, drowsily, waking up from a deep, deep sleep. The deepest sleep.

Ryou stood up and slid down the escarpment to the dragon, pebbles and dust avalanching around his feet. The stab wound in its skull was knitting back together; the severed claw was crawling back to its slow-bleeding joint. There was an agonized hiss, forced through the dragon’s tightly-clenched teeth, and a vibrating groan, deep in its chest, as it gathered itself out of death.

Its eyes opened, in wary slits - not the bright, acid green, but a stunning, oceanic blue.

“OW. FUCK,” it growled, in Kaiba’s voice, magnified and twice as resonant. “OPEN MASTER COMMANDS, USER ID 000002510. SUSPEND ALL PAIN ALGORITHMS. CLOSE MASTER COMMANDS.”

He rolled upright, flexing his wings with experimental care. He arched his neck, looking down at Ryou.

“YOU TURNED ME INTO A DRAGON.”

“Yes,” Ryou said cautiously.

“NO ONE HAS EVER TURNED ME INTO A DRAGON BEFORE,” Kaiba said. ”SO I WASN’T WORTHY? IS THIS WHAT IT MEANS TO SUFFER THE DRAGON’S FATE? EVERYONE WHO KILLS THE DRAGON BECOMES THE DRAGON, AND ONLY THE CHOSEN ONE BREAKS THE CYCLE. IS THAT HOW IT GOES?”

“That’s how it goes.”

“HOW DO I FIND THE CHOSEN ONE?”

“You choose them,” Ryou said. “You decide what makes them worthy.”

"SO ANYONE CAN BE THE CHOSEN ONE? ANYONE CAN BREAK MY CURSE?"

"That's right."

Kaiba pondered that for a moment, flexing his claws idly in the dirt, the massive slabs of muscle in his shoulders shifting as he tested the strength and fit of his new draconic body. His gaze drifted out over the lower valley, eyes clouding briefly with memories of another story, another game, another man; one who had always seemed real and unreal, all at once, no matter what world he lived in. Ryou had heard it all from Yuugi.

Then Kaiba looked at him and started to laugh, a sound that echoed and rebounded across the small lake valley, the water shivering as each delighted peal of laughter rolled across. Ryou blushed as it buffeted him from all sides.

“IS THAT SO,” Kaiba said, with dry relish. “YOU’RE HIRED.”

#sibbinthegivengibbon #fanfiction #euroshipping #(platonic)#oh my goddddddd this was a blast to write i just enjoyed myself the entire time #thanks for the prompt!!#its 1 AM i'm going the FUCK to sleep

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teffyjeffy · 5 years ago

Text

(Most of) JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure: Stardust Crusaders but almost everybody are kids having fun at recess.

Want a random JoJo post out of nowhere? No? Okay well here you go anyway!

A lot of the time when I was watching JJBA I felt like I was watching a very dramatic retelling of what was actually two kids playfighting.

“My guy punches super fast!” “Oh yeah? Well my guy can stop Time!” “Oh yeah?! Well, mine can too! I just discovered it!” “WELL MINE CAN DROP A ROADROLLER ON YOU” “THATS CHEATING”

Anyway, the idea started to snowball, so please enjoy my masterpost of (most of) JJBA Part 3 where the Stardust Crusaders are a group of 9 year old rascals who met up one day during recess. This is just for fun ^_^ also these are all copied and pasted from discord so the structure is a little jumbled. Enjoy!

Oh, and Spoilers are ahead.

“I can punch super fast!”

“Well I can use cameras and TVs as crystal balls, but I need to break them!”

“Mine can shoot flames, ooo ooo and-and I can control them at will!”

“Mine has a sword that can stab anything”

“MINE HAS AN ATTACK THAT IS UNBLOCKABLE AND ITS AREA EFFECT IS THE WHOLE PLAYGROUND-“

“No Kakyoin that’s not how we play. Youre not allowed to have an invincible attack”

Kakyoin’s introduction:

“I have an invincible attack”

“That’s not how it works Kakyoin but you’re cool, so you can keep playing with us”

The insect stand “Tower of Gray” was when the group was bothered by a fly on the school bus and they got a little too rowdy in their attempts to kill it, which pissed off the elderly bus driver. Thus the kids agreed that he was responsible for bringing the fly onto the bus in the first place. They got detention.

Jean Polnareff’s introduction:

“I have a sword that can pierce through anything!”

“Okay Jean, you can play with us, but you have to promise to stop pushing Avdol into the wood chips, he doesn’t like it.”

The stowaway girl is actually a 5 year old girl who wants to play with them and they hate it at first but they eventually warm up to her. The monkey with a ship stand was actually a retelling of the groups trip to the town’s public swimming pool. The boat was just an inflatable tube and the monkey was a chipmunk. And the original boat that blew up? That was the group’s original inflatable tube that got popped because the 5 year old wouldn’t stop gnawing at it

Later, the kids SOMEHOW convinced their parents to let them stay in the same hotel while the parents all hate business trips to go to. They “promised” not to pillow fight, then everyone except for Jean went to go get snacks while Jean went to explore the new room. Unbeknownst to them, the previous guests of the room accidentally left their daughter’s doll behind. Jean HATES dolls. He accidentally stumbled upon Child’s Play when he was surfing channels way too late at night without his parents knowing. Fear turns into aggression and someone from the hotel staff goes to check on him. He finds Jean and realizes it’s the same kid who shot him with a water gun earlier. Jean is kicked out and the parents have to pick their kids up. Jotaro and everyone else weren’t happy.

Rubber Soul is actually just that one bratty kid who thinks it’s sooooooooo funny to mimic other people while also making fun of the person they’re mimicking. It makes them feel “powerful.” Jotaro encounters Rubber Soul when the latter is mocking Kakyoin one day, while Jotaro is playing with the 5 year old; he then chases Rubber Soul all around the playground, and when he finally gets him, he busts his teeth in. They were only baby teeth though, they grew right back, which saved Jotaro from a brutal punishment. He was still forced to go without dessert for a month. He didn’t complain though because his mother was dealing with the flu at the time. He would give all his desserts to Kakyoin, which his how Jotaro discovered Kakyoin’s creepy habit of juggling maraschino cherries in his mouth.

J. Geil was somebody who used to play games with Jean’s sister. When she found out he sucked at party cake and teased him for having “Two left hands”, J pushes her into the mud and never plays with her again. Jean has held a grudge ever since.

Hol Horse is Geil’s “New friend” which pisses off Jean. Hol Horse, being a member of the wrong crowd, beats up Avdol and J. Geil just goes along with it. Jean is all “Avdol why are you even here, you had nothing to do with this!” And Kakyoin’s like “Should we call 911?” And Jean responds “Not yet, I need to beat up these guys first!” And Kakyoin calls 911 anyway.

The Mirror stand is just J. Geil going “Made you look” and punching your shoulder.

And Hol Horse’s stand is just a nerf gun. The reason it hurts is because he likes to get right up in your face before firing it. It’s ineffective if you’re too far away from him, because the dart bullet loses momentum and hits the ground harmlessly.

Jean eventually gets back at J. Geil by chasing him into the middle of a group of kids, then pointing up at nothing, shouting “Made you look,” and poking J. Geil in the eyes, which causes him to cry like a baby. And later, Jean is like “Oh yeah, I totally stabbed him with my sword!” when Jotaro asks him what happened.

Then Hol horse runs away because he realized J. Geil was a total loser.

The Empress stand was just Joseph’s retelling of his parents taking him to the doctor’s office so they could deal with a wart on his arm. He hated how boring the actual process was, so he pretended that he bested the wart in a game of wits and tore it asunder. Jotaro was grossed out.

(Btw in this AU Joseph is only a grade older than Jotaro, instead of being his grandpappy)

Wheel of Fortune is just the result of a very nasty game of tag with a brat who wouldn’t leave the group alone.

Enya is the crazy cat lady at the end of the street whose house the kids were forced to pass one day when they missed the school bus.

Steely Dan is the snobby “Cool Kid” of the playground, and a sore loser when the kids don’t play the way he wants them to. So Jotaro gives him a black eye.

The Sun is a kid who likes to fry ants with a magnifying glass. But Joseph likes bugs, and seeing this made him cry. So Jotaro, Kakyoin and Avdol plot to destroy the magnifying glass, which they thought was really funny. But at that point, the magnifying glass had to be returned to the science lab, so the kid was spared.

Or, in another interpretation:

“Hey guys, I wanna play! My guy’s power is that he’s literally the sun!!! ”

Joseph: “Wow, that’s pretty powerful-“

J,K,&A: “YOUR POWER IS STUPID, GET LOST”

Death Thirteen was the result of the kids being forced to deal with a baby who was throwing a tantrum while they all waited to get on the giant slide at the County Fair. Kakyoin was especially pissed.

I have nothing for the Judgement stand.

I don’t have anything for High Priestess either.

And Iggy is still a dog, but I’m getting rid of his tendency to fart because I just HATE IT

N’Doul isn’t blind, he wears glasses and can’t see shit without them. And he has a water pistol. And he hoards the playground’s sandbox.

Oingo and Boingo are a 6 year old and his 1 year old brother and they’re just the cutest little demon spawns.

Anubis is a dog that snatched Jean’s toy sword in its mouth, and the sword’s power to transfer souls was just Jean fearing that the dog had rabies. Jotaro rolled his eyes but convinced Joseph to help him buy a new toy sword to shut Jean up.

Mariah... I dunno man, I didn’t really care for her arc and it definitely doesn’t fit the “kids playground” scenario I’m going for.

ALESSI IS WRITTEN OUT COMPLETELY. HE IS NOT ALLOWED ON THE PLAYGROUND.

The D’Arby brothers are known for being the cheaters of the playground. So Jotaro scares the eldest brother in a game of Go Fish, and it messes D’Arby up so much that it triggers his Asthma and he he has an Asthma attack.

Pet Shop went down as the day when Iggy had a fight with a seagull and got pecked the ever loving SHIT out of. Jotaro tells the story at every Christmas party.

The younger D’Arby battle happened on a day when he and Jotaro were playing video games together. They accused each other of cheating, which resulted in Jotaro insulting him for liking dolls before pummeling him and consequently getting kicked out of the house. Joseph gave him a high five though, so it was worth it.

Vanilla Ice was the toddler who didn’t bother to move out of the way if you got in his path while he was driving his toy mini jeep. But if you asked Jean or Avdol, they’ll tell you that the toddler deliberately puts people in his path to run them over. And the occasional dog.

And finally, DIO.

DIO was a kid who got transferred to Jotaro’s school after being expelled because the principal of DIO’s previous school couldn’t get him to leave two of the students alone, by the names of Johnathan and Erina. He was pen pals with Johnathan, but that was the only connection DIO bothered to maintain.

Jotaro thought DIO didn’t even deserve the title of “School Bully.” He thought DIO was just a weird freaking kid. Despite that, most of the kids were scared of him, Jotaro’s friends included.

DIO loved to utilize the classic “Time Out!” whenever he played with the kids, and if they didn’t abide to the time out, they got a knuckle sandwich.

Jotaro was the first kid in a long time to just say “Nope.”

That’s when he learned that DIO was a kid who liked to screech like a banshee when things didn’t go his way. As well as throw a whole bunch of pencils (seemingly from out of nowhere) at any person that he upset with.

The road roller in this AU is the closest thing to a lethal heavy weapon that you can get on the playground: a frickin BIKE.

And DIO is like “TIME OUT SO I CAN SLAM THIS BIKE ON YOU” And Jotaro goes “Nope, your time out is cancelled because you’re a freak and also you tried to bite Joseph which was just gross, anyway-“ and he punched DIO in the leg, pushed him to the ground, and kicked woodchips in his face.

They both got expelled.

A few years later, on his way to middle school, Jotaro bumps into a kid named Josuke...

<============ TO BE CONTINUED

BONUS JJBA BATTLE TENDENCY

The Pillar Men are a reflection of the infamous day when three highschool bullies showed up to the playground. One of them beat a kid named Ceasar in a Rock Paper Scissors match; in responce, Joseph (who at the time was only 4) went apeshit. He kicked the first highschooler off of the carousel at the County Fair. Then he located the second highschooler, tied up his shoelaces, then lit them with a match. Finally, during the school’s annual science fair, he tracked down the third highschooler, who had just finished rigging a student’s baking soda volcano to blow up in his face. Joseph threw a bunch of rocks that he found outside at the highschooler, and then proceeded to lock him up in the school’s astral observatory. The first two highschoolers fled town after that, but rumor has it that the third one is still stuck in the abandoned observatory.

#jjba #jojo part 3 #stardust crusaders #au #jotaro #dio #kakyoin #avdol #joseph joestar #iggy

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howlitecritical · 6 years ago

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New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose: And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation. She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!

#su criticism #su rewrite #su #su critique #su critical #steven universe #i hate the pink diamond reveal so im just Salty #cw long post

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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ROXY: so ur the 1 w/ all the answers ARADIA: is there something youd like to know? ROXY: well apparently uve got cosmic info + hells of motivational one liners so can u tell y it has 2 be this way ROXY: why this game gotta suck so hard ARADIA: can i let you in on a secret ROXY: im not so gr8 w/ those ROXY: spill stuff when i shouldnt or sit on stuff i should spill ARADIA: ill have to trust you anyway ARADIA: i dont have all the answers ARADIA: just what ive learned from talking to people or trying things out and making mistakes ARADIA: trial and error thats how a lot of things work ARADIA: thats what got us here ROXY: and wut left all those ghosts out there ARADIA: yes ROXY: which brings me back 2 my question ROXY: why does this game suck ARADIA: some things just do ARADIA: but i am inclined this time to say because it was made this way ROXY: by callie ROXY: the other 1 ROXY: thats what i heard ARADIA: see you have more information than me in that respect! ARADIA: the waking world is not my area of expertise ARADIA: out in the bubbles i knew what to expect ARADIA: this is new and harder to navigate ROXY: were all in the dark rn ROXY: but thats my place ARADIA: ive been a maid for a long time ARADIA: cleaning up what i could and making the way easier ARADIA: maybe a rogue from outside the system has a different perspective ROXY: i bet other ppl have more ideas n schemes but if ur lookin 4 the roguish attitude uve come 2 the rite place ROXY: i can give u lessons on being feisty + a rule breaker + lookin damn good while ur at it ROXY: did u ever encounter my brand before out there ARADIA: nope! ARADIA: there arent many humans out there ARADIA: youre new territory for me ROXY: oh ROXY: guess there was only the 1 ROXY: it wouldve been nice for her have some1 there ROXY: id want that if i was dying and alone ROXY: but enough of the heavy shit ROXY: we just met and im already being a PARTY POOPER ROXY: u said u were a maid ROXY: guess thats obvs bc uve got the same kinda outfit as jane ROXY: does that mean ur also nice n cute but morph into a terrifying badass when necessary ARADIA: it has been known to happen ROXY: honestly i havent met a troll girl who wasnt a terrifying badass ROXY: we ladies r def carrying this adventure ARADIA: flarp is called a game for girls for a reason ROXY: flarp? ARADIA: a live action roleplaying game four of us used to play ROXY: that sounds wicked awesome ROXY: i always wanted 2 do something like that but my friends were all long distance and sburb ended up being a little TOO immersive ARADIA: we had a lot of fun playing together ARADIA: unfortunately it led to some... accidents ROXY: maybe we should all try playing sometime ROXY: w/ our powers it could be rly cool ROXY: even snowball fights are gonna have the intensity and firepower of a world war ARADIA: i can ask terezi if she has any copies of the rulebook that arent defaced ARADIA: or we could write our own rulebook! ARADIA: that might be fun, and we could make it safer for the players ROXY: what happened 2 u guys anyway ARADIA: tavros broke his torso column ARADIA: terezi went blind ARADIA: vriska lost a few body parts she could live without ARADIA: i died ROXY: k thats more than i was thinking when you said accidents ROXY: usually its more like some1 got hit w/ 3 draw 4s in a row and rage quit or u slipped on some dice and fell on ur ass ARADIA: none of that was the fault of the game though ARADIA: vriska did most of it, egged on by an otherworldly meddler with objectives of his own ARADIA: working in a few tweaks theres no reason it should result in so much carnage ROXY: if u say so ROXY: ive had my fill of killer games ROXY: u couldnt pay me 2 go a round of jumanji ROXY: maybe ill stick to my retro computer games where i can only die digitally ARADIA: oh, those are fun too! ARADIA: you have to find entertaining things to do indoors when its not safe to go exploring outside ROXY: trust me im an expert at whiling away cabin fever ROXY: but i dont think weve got any danger of that now ROXY: there r gonna be so many wacky shenanigans w/ all of us hanging out together i can already visualize it ROXY: sweet sweet shenanigans ROXY: every moment worth snapshotting and putting in a picture album to preserve it 4ever ROXY: hopefully none of these shenanigans will end up w/ ppl getting broken tho that doesnt sound like good times for all ARADIA: we will have to avert any incoming disasters ARADIA: whether they arise from injudicious game selections or otherwise ROXY: a bunch of badasses like us shouldnt have any problem ROXY: well make games safe and fair ROXY: and well figure out how 2 take on this world on xpert mode ARADIA: sounds like a plan

#tlcstuck #roxy lalonde #aradia megido #walkaround 4

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dwestfieldblog · 4 years ago

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THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MUST FEEL

This temporary apocalypse could be seen as a globally overdue Long Night of the Soul, an initiation of sorts which might result in a deeper understanding of what actually matters for human evolution (despite the very best efforts of the scum who are trying to reverse any spiritual progress because it weakens their hold.) There are several ways in which the negative side could truly take over, starting with the horror nightmare prospect of DT (aka ‘Just Another Scumbag’ as Bannon once called him) re ‘elected’. The realistic pessimist in me is sure that if he wins, this planet in this dimension is finished. His winning will be a final signal to the world to give us up. In my lifetime, we have never been so close to the mass breakout of totalitarianism and utter lack of empathy than we are now. Actual fascist populists, not some wet Liberal bleating but the real thing, ready to go live. Covid has bankrupted hundreds of thousands of businesses, millions have lost their jobs, migration from the truly poor and dangerous countries continues...into the becoming poor and dangerous countries. Those who live there and are already ruined by the disasters in every home will be easy prey for the populists. Speaking of whom...

Steve Bannon has spent a great deal of time and other people’s money in setting up a network to overthrow the (arf arf arf) ‘deep state’ and replace it with... a new deeper state...still run by the rich, who will use the populists, who in turn will use the mass of the angry and frightened...etc etc...And power, as most people recognise it, will stay in the hands of the unhuman swine with the most gold and the least soul. WER NICHT HOREN WILL, MUSS FUHLEN...

‘...the human nervous system properly programmed, can edit and orchestrate all experience into any gestalt it wishes. We encounter the same dismal and depressing experiences over and over again because they are repeating tape loops in the central programmer of our brains. We can encounter ecstasy over and over by learning the neurosciences that orchestrate all in coming signals into ecstatic tape loops.’ R.A.Wilson. Prometheus Rising, Hilaritas Press.

It takes a lot of effort and Will to do this but what else is worth it other than to attempt to break out of the vicious cycle and evolve? Even I have managed this when I focus on choosing it. Giving up ingrained behavioural habits often hurts; this is, however, a choice. It doesn’t have to unless you are a masochist.

Flew to England for three weeks in August, full flight sold out, all of us wore masks (apart from one 6 foot 6 mad eyed American who kept pacing up and down the cabin.) Right up to the point where we were all given a bottle of water, some crisps and two biscuits...All masks off at the same time, all passengers attempting not to breathe while we drank and ate. Love seeing how many in both countries wear masks under their nose or even only on their chin. As Bill Hicks would say ‘Any questions why we’re f.....d up as a race?’ As Jonathan Pie does say; ‘Put a f...... mask on.’ I have been coughing since February, and drinking heavily, so not especially optimistic about getting C19.

I avoided almost all of the news while in UK, watched five minutes in total on the TV and only read headlines in the paper. It was enough. Since I have been back in Prague I have continued to avoid the news other than that which I am told by friends and students but I can tell from daily receiving over one hundred emails that things are truly breaking. Hexagram 23 and total Weltschmerz is upon us. Mental health is twisting up globally. One by one, all my friends are suffering serious damage, one way or another. Hearts are breaking apart and many damnable souls, who should be burning, are not. People are afraid to breathe or to embrace, looking to the very worst set of leaders in my lifetime for answers and being manipulated en masse to mass crises.

(Jaz Coleman....On the Day the Earth went Mad...watch the video, listen. Feel. Weep. Rage. Change.) QUI NOLERUNT AUDIRE DEBERE SENTIRE.

Love the interviews I saw with those who voted for Trump and realised they made a mistake...after FOUR YEARS. What clued them in? Which particular excremental atrocity of his foulness gave them the alert? Will the Electoral College let him ‘win’? Before I left, I saw the Trump interview where he said ‘It is what it is’, with regard to the massive number of deaths in the USA. ‘We are below the world’. Blood pressure rising, I even checked his Twitter account where he published two letters, one from the eternally unlovely NRA and the other from the American Police Federation, assuring him he was the best president to ever serve their interest and they would back him to the hilt. His plan to stir the US up into open civil war continues and Putin sits back and smiles. As does Jared it seems, the smug sadist advisor in the same style as (England’s off Broadway Trump) Boris’s Dominic Cummings. Herd Immunity? Well yes it might work at some point after a few years and millions dead. You evil alien bastards. The main individuals in the British Government will make millions from a no deal Brexit, perfect timing. The country will die.

The newest PC bullshit has got even the wonderful JK Rowling into trouble just for speaking her mind politely about transgender issues. I love PC... it is how dumb useless Liberals can act out their secret fascist impulses and feel hard of c..k and wet of p...y...feel good to be so righteous... same with overly ill humoured religious folk, but the PC tribe cannot use God to justify anything so they are a bit weaker...You morons... ‘People who menstruate’, People with a cervix’? PEOPLE? Really? Women is a bad word is it? Too specific? (Well it has the word men in it, so seems almost inclusive.) You bastards are annihilating language; raping semantics...get another hobby you ridiculous cretins. (Be sure the populists well understand how to manipulate such fools.)

Extinction Rebellion is being used (among a multitude of other groups in other countries, hello Black Lives Matter) by the Kremlin to stir up shite, they are mostly well meaning on the road to Hell. Stop being so dumb and stop helping those who are against you at home and abroad. Dogmatic faith leads to mistrust, violence and hatred, says the lone derranger...And as for the absurd Q Anon, it is those who seek a Deeper State who are using you to do it. Well done.

Jacob Blake, shot seven (count them) times in the back by police even though charged with no crime and paralysed was handcuffed to hospital bed. That goofy twat of a 17 yr boy who wanted to be a policeman, shooting at blacks because he believed he had carte blanc (arf) from Trump to defend his country against ‘terrorists’...he will probably escape much punishment because... he was bullied at school...WHO WASNT?? The only people who weren’t were bullied at home. Guns ‘open carry’ in various states as the NRA rejoice in what they encourage. ‘Your first amendment means I can say your second amendment sucks d...s’. JimJeffries. Damn straight. By the time even I was 17, I had grown out of wanting to kill half the world. Wannabe cops are a little slower.

Everything is the new normal. Too late for a mid life crisis unless I die at 108 but I never forget that statistically there is more chance of being killed by death than anything else. ‘Heres to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’ Walking... see three funeral services shops in the road leading to/away from the hospital, clever businessmen...walking...masks off, between two conveniently placed flower shops and smoking outside the fuming crematorium in black suits and highly polished shoes. Waiting. That’s us.

I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. Nice headline seen on US newspaper...‘Can any good from cyberstalking your online crush?’I wondered that after falling in fascination with a woman in Germany who wrote like a poet and wove a spell of stories to charm and beguile. I would have walked from London to Hamburg to see if she was real. Everyone expresses love and the need for it in different ways. Reprogramming a deeply imprinted circuit is usually uncomfortable and so it proved for both of us. We shall see...if there is time. ‘One of us is crazy and the other one’s insane’

I can remember one of the days I Changed (seven years old?) We had a history lesson and were told about English kings and their ‘Divine Right’ to rule. Because God told them. And they told the people. And the people believed them. I remember the light in the classroom, where I was sitting, the smell of the tables, old unused ink wells, pencil shavings... and just thinking whatever a child’s version of F..K OFF...THATS BULLSHIT ISNT IT? would have been. That was the first moment I started questioning the class system, gullibility and bastards. A couple of years later, the absolute freedom of being, sent to collect the class register, walking down the empty corridors and not in the classroom...a beautiful feeling of being OUTSIDE. Free. Two of many experiences which have never left me. (The Angel Choir, the Rituals, the EYE across the Multiverse dream, the Reconnection...) Even if Freedom turns out to be as much of an illusion as everything else, it is still as beautifully sensual to me as music.

One summer night in 1990 after my 3rd breakdown, I had a dream. I think. Bear (or even bare) with me on this, I know how this sounds but it is only reporting what I saw in my mind. Two Aliens, thin and shadow like, came though my open bedroom door in the night (I could see the silhouettes) and one took a long shiny silver needle like a hypodermic for a horse and stood behind me and pushed the needle in through the top and centre of my skull, penetrating my brain. I FELT it slowly being pushed in, it hurt but I was paralysed. There was no voice but I heard (try not to laugh) ‘So now you have Superintelligence’. They moved out, the door closed, I slept. As usual with me, I remember every single dream I have ever remembered as if they were films I have watched over and over...and after a dream, the atmosphere stays with me for 23 whores. Later that day, I picked a big hardback book to find some info on something (A Cyclopaedia) with pages as thin as a bible. I sat almost motionless and without food for eight hours, DEVOURING every subject in it. Economics, geometry, geopolitical events, medicine, beliefs, systems.....the next day I finished ninety percent of it and went on to read books by five philosophers from second hand shops, started watching insects, stopped swearing, worked out, and read and read and read. All the knowledge I hadn’t cared about in school and college I picked up that one summer. It led to making new friends, new possibilities, new work, new love and led me to fly to Prague in this sequence while continuing to practice many ‘New age’ techniques by a writer called Stuart Wilde. They all worked and I continued...with regular fallings and breakthroughs.

‘Religion was invented when the first scoundrel met the first fool’. Faith is believing what you know not be true’. The seeker finds a belief and stops thinking for themselves...‘Every ideology is a mental murder, a reduction of dynamic living processes to static classifications, and every classification is a Damnation, just as every inclusion is an exclusion.’RAW

I had a four hour conversation with a Christian bloke, thirty, intelligent, believes in Satan as an actual being with horns. Etc. He couldn’t quite see any flaw in saying that any prophet who saw angels, white light and heard the voice of God, healed, etc but was not actually Christ, was only being tempted and used by the devil. He told me to watch the beautiful side of evil...

‘Every act of authority is, in fact, an invasion of the psychic and physical territory of another’. Human progress ‘is the concrete manifestation of some person’s refusal to bow to Authority.’

‘WE GOT ELECTED ON DRAIN THE SWAMP, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL. THIS WAS PURE ANGER. ANGER AND FEAR IS WHAT GETS PEOPLE TO THE POLLS. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T MATTER, THE REAL OPPOSITION IS THE MEDIA, and the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.’ Said Bannon, who also said. ‘Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. Thats power.’ Has he met Putin yet? Is he also on speed dial along with Boris and Trump? People! Create better leaders. NOW.

Happy birthday Aleister Crowley on the 12th October and Happy Halloween to all readers, stay healthy and sane (arf) Remember you are magick...buy the re-release of Musick to Play in the Dark by COIL and become moonlight... And those in America, if you actually do truly believe in a good God...go and vote and remove that evil ego and his cohorts in the White House with absolute overwhelming victory or we are done in this lifetime. Be healthy.

LOVE!!!

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the-winter-spider · 7 years ago

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All In Your Head - Part Four

A/N: I hate building up story lines, i just want to skip ahead to all the angst and the draaaamaaaaaaa. tbh I'm not that happy with this part :/

Pairings: Sam x Dean x Reader!Sister

Word Count: 1,800

Masterlist

Flashbacks are in italics

PS i tried to tag some people and it wouldn’t let me??? Some body help a girl out???? whys that???

“It was a few years ago, i was stuck in the cage again. And after what happened last time, y/n, she took my spot with him” Sam started to sob “In there”

“Oh Sammy, I'm sorry you have that weight on your shoulders”

Sam lifted his head up “W-what?”

“I'm sorry, she put you through that”

His brows furrowed “She didn’t put me through anything, she saved me”

“Well, im sorry thats the only way you see that situation” Standing up, Mary made her way towards the door

“Where are you going?”

“Clearly i'm not welcomed here, I just keep butting heads with you and Dean. You guys aren’t my little boys anymore”

“You keep butting heads with us because you have a problem with y/n, you know nothing about what we’ve gone through all these years, of course we're not your little boys anymore, but we're still your kids”

“She’s not my kid”

“y/n, y/n, y/n”

Your eyes remained shut you couldn’t see anything but you could feel everything.

“I'm going to bring you back”

His voice was getting louder, and what scared you was it wasn’t Sam or Dean’s voice.

“You know you were my favourite toy, but shhh don’t tell your brothers they might get jealous”

Everything felt scattered, your thoughts were moving a mile a minute.

“Open your eyes y/n, you’re home”

Shaking your head, you brought your knees to your chest, baking up further in the corner.

“Oh, y/n when will you realise, you will be back. Just your choice if you want to be brought back in one piece or in pieces”

You felt like you were on fire, but you couldn’t scream. You body was aching, but you felt yourself relax when you couldn’t hear his voice anymore instead you could hear Dean’s.

“y/n”

You peeled your eyes open, moving your head to look over at Dean “Dee”

His eyes shot open they were bloodshot, and puffy. You couldn’t help but feeling guilty again for what you were putting them through, you were nothing but trouble for them.

“He has me” You sobbed out

“Oh sweetheart, you're safe, i won't let anything happen to you, I promise.”

Pushing yourself up you had no idea what came over you, you wanted out of this room scared that at any second the walls would start caving in and you would be sucked back down there with Lucifer “You can’t keep protecting me Dean”

Dean grabbed your arm trying to push you back down as lightly as he could, his voice soft “Hey you need to lay down and get some rest”

Your body was throbbing in pain, but you pushed through it, lifting your legs you swung them over the edge “I can’t Dean” You were exhausted, but you needed to do research, you need to figure out if this could be prevented or if this was your destiny because if it was then you weren’t going to put your brothers through a fight that wasn’t worth fighting.

You were in seated in the back seat of the impala, in your usual spot. You eyes couldn’t help but keep glances towards Dean. His jaw clenched, he was trying to keep a hard exterior on, but you could see it in his eyes, the pain. His knuckles going white from gripping the steering wheel to hard.

“There’s a motel just off this turn” Sam pointed to the left, breaking the silence. His voice small, trying not to say the wrong thing and push Dean over the edge. Dean grunted, nodding before making a sharp turn last minute causing you to bash your head against the window.

Sam’s head whipped around as Dean pulled into a parking spot “Are you okay!?”

Lifting your hand to your head, you could feel blood “Yeah, Sammy i'm okay” You gave him a small smile.

Dean was already out of the car, slamming his door shut you winced at the loud sound, “Come on, ill check your head out in the room”

You nodded in response, truth was your head hurt like a bitch, you didn’t tell the boys how hard you really hit your head back at the warehouse trying to save Ben. Has Sam got out, you stayed a few seconds longer trying to compose yourself “You’re not going to cry” You mumbled before stepping out, just in time to see Dean coming back from the office with the room key.

“One room, two doubles. You're on the couch” Dean stated, gesturing to you. Nodding you grabbed your bags from the trunk.

Making your way into the room, Sam already had the first aid kit out. “Come” he turned to you, patting the small counter, you slid on. Wincing as Sam moved your hair out of the cut. Your eyes moved to glance at Dean a blank stare on his face. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through, after what happened tonight you weren’t sure just how long he was going to hold this with him, he would try to brush it off in a few days but he would take it out on a hunt being reckless, or he would drink himself into a coma.

You never had anyone but the boys, while at some point or another they had separate, normal lives without you, you could feel a burning in the pit of your stomach even just trying to imagine what it felt like having the memories of the only woman you ever loved erased.

Your train of thought was gone has you felt a burning pain in your head “Ow! What the hell Sammy”

“Sorry” He mumbled “This cuts really deep, did you hit your head early?”

You nodded, “why didn’t you say anything? You could have a concussion!” He scolded you.

“Because i'm fine Sam, just drop it” Sighing he nodded his head “Fine but don’t get mad at me if i watch you like a hawk”

Rolling your eyes, you jumped down “Yes Mom”

He let out a small laugh, making his way to the washroom. Leaving Dean and you in a awkward silence. Biting your nails, a habit you encountered over the years. Sighing you're made your way to the edge of the bed, sitting beside Dean. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing ever coming out, you didn’t know what to say.

“Y/n”

Your lifted your head so fast, the throbbing pain in it coming back but you pushed through it when you seen the tears streaming down Dean’s face ‘Yes Dee?”

“Promise you won’t ever leave me? I don’t think i could handle it if you left to”

“I promise”

“Please y/n, do this for me” You could see the pain in his pleading eyes, you knew how much Dean loved you. But you were doing this for them,

“Dean” You breathed out “I can’t just stay here all day”

He sighed “I know, but Cas said you needed rest”

“Dean, I can’t”

“Why not? Please y/n don’t be stubborn like me, I know you’re tired, i'm tired just from looking at you, you looked like crap” He let out a small chuckle trying to lighten the mood.

You gave him a small smile “It’s not that Dee…”

His face laced with concern “Then what is it?”

“I'm scared Dean” You sobbed out, bringing your hands to cover your face. You could feel the weight on your bed shift, Dean took your hands aways from you face as gentle as he could scared at any second you would crumble into dust in his hands.

“Look at me y/n/n” His voice soft making eye contact with him, he continued “You have nothing to be afraid of. Sammy and I, hell even Cass, we have your back, as long as you're with one of us, i promise with everything in me, you’re going to be okay.”

“You can’t protect me from this, he..”

Cutting you off “Like hell i can’t”

“Dean, you can’t. Whenever I close my eyes he's gonna be there, and i’ll back in the cage”

His eyes softened “Will figure it out, Okay?”

“Okay”

“Now, ill let you leave your room under one condition”

You giggled, “Dean im 30, im not a baby anymore”

He scoffed “As long as i'm alive, you might as well be a baby”

“Yeah, yeah. So whats this condition?”

Finally making your way towards the library, You promised Dean that you would eat whatever Sam ate, so that meant no more bacon, no more burgers, no more burgers with bacon on it. Dean had his arm wrapped around you, helping you towards the library, he insisted on giving you a piggy back, but your arms hurt too much to hold onto him, so this was the alternative. Making your way around the corner, stopping at the blood stain on the floor, you shuttered, bring your arms to hug yourself.

Dean noticed your change in mood, your exterior stiffening, “Y/n?” He questioned, but his eyes followed yours, tightening his grip on you, he rubbed his thumb in circles on your upper arm, pulling you close to his side.

The library coming into view, your face lighting up when you seen Sam, his back turned towards you, Mary’s eyes shifted from looking at Sam, towards Dean and you. Sam turned around when he noticed her eyes were no longer on him.

Making his way towards you, he pulled you into one of his famous hugs “I'm glad you’re okay y/n”

“As long as I have you two by my side, I'll always be okay”

Dean gave you a little shove “That's the spirit”

Mary walked towards you three, her eyes never landing on you, “Sam? I need your answer”

You could see Sam’s change in composure, Dean noticed it to. Becoming wary, you could feel the air get heavy, your heart started to speed up.

“Whats going on?” Dean pushed, looking between his Mother and little brother.

“I asked him to chose”

“Chose what?”

He gave you the same look he gave you when he left you when Dean was in hell, and in purgatory. “Sammy?” You questioned, but you already knew what she meant, a tear falling down your cheek.

“I’m sorry y/n” Sam spoke, his voice just below a whisper

You look towards Dean answering his question “to chose between me and her”

Dean’s face harden, his jaw clenched, his fist balling up before he brought it up, putting all his weight into it as it collided with his little brothers face.

Tags:

@fallen-castiel @cookie-dough-lova @anime-pasta @i-just-wanna-live-gc @lemonadegazeelle @tomlinsonlovers @jackjackljaqui @avenging-winter @an-emotionallycrippled-fangirl @lonelyuniverseblog @percussiongirl2017 @overcastmisfitkid @thesignpainter11@justhere1112 @rustic11816 @the-eagle-mockingbird-bookworm @mariazintili @bethabear12 @sireennotsiren

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perenlop · 3 years ago

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ok ok gonna drabble a little bit. so did i ever talk about how i actually noticed heracross and appreciated it enough for it to skyrocket into my top 5? i probably did actually but idk my memory is spotty. but anyways, it was my ocs that really kicked it up a notch, but for the initial favorite, it was actually a nuzlocke run i attempted that did it!

basically i had a gigantic nuzlocke phase in middle school, it fed into the whole “wow pokemon is so ADULT now” thing that i grew out of. so i attempted a bunch of them but bc i have commitment issues i never finished any until recently.

but in one of them, a platinum one, i slathered the honey on the floroama honey tree just for the heck of getting an encounter out of it, expecting a wurmple or a male combee- but nope, i go in and ive got a giant lovely little beetle that i named lily.

lily became one of my favorite team members instantly, because id never used a heracross before, and once she caught up she destroyed everything in her path. i was so engaged in her specifically, i put her in contests, i rarely took her off the team, i loved that big ol bug so much.

and then she got a crit on iron island, and little lily got crushed. oh my god that ruined me. i was in DENIAL. i wanted to cheat and bring her back, pretend nothing had happened, i didnt want to box her, i had a big ol plan for byron and i wanted her on my champion team! but rules are rules, so i boxed her. god it tainted the nuzlocke so bad. i didnt even win it, i was underleveled for aaron and he killed 4 of my pokemon so i forfeited the run. so lily’s death wasn’t even worth it. it suuuucked i was so fucking sad man

but like. in typical overthinking “hey what if the little pixels are self aware” fashion, sometimes i like to think “hey, these runs are self imposed. the pokemon ingame arent ACTUALLY dying or anything, theyre just being boxed when they get knocked out. that probably sucks for them, they’re probably getting all this love and attention only to be released or shoved into a box at the first sign of failure.”

so now i’m thinking about lily again but with that idea in mind. maybe in like a fictional story, someone attempts a nuzlocke run, gets lily and bonds with her (and maybe this gives her actual sentience BRVR style) and then loses her the way i did, and when she’s boxed, suddenly she’s literally being treated like she’s dead. like, she can’t communicate with her player anymore, and she starts to think of herself as a failure and a fluke because she lost her first battle and now has been thrown away.

i dont have many ideas for next, i dont think she’ll kill anybody, i think she’ll just be either sad or creepy. like she starts manipulating the games to try and put herself back in the party, or put herself in a different pokemon game (maybe hgss, since she could actually attempt to talk to the player there) and she just keeps trying to be useful again but the player just gets creeped out by that point and stops playing/deletes her? (i did end up deleting the file w lily irl, bc thats how i play pokemon) or she sabotages the nuzlocke?

idk its kinda cliche but im just playing around with concepts, self aware pokemon are interesting to think about. i doodled a possible design for her

… so i think i have an old-school pokemon creepypasta oc idea

#echoed voice #long post #idk! dont mind me im just tossing things around. thinking about it.#shes got a lily behind her horn…

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tamiddyinyourcity · 5 years ago

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I should just handwrite a letter and let the feelings flow. Might not even give it to him.

I just should face whatever lingering feelings I have, since I'm frankly tired of my cute ass laying in bed all day, when there's not a single cloud in the sky, I have the world's best wardrobe right now, and there are at least seven people who want to fuck and/or date me right now.

My hair is shiny, skin looks nice, and the thing that is definitely not a full 10/10 is my mental health.

Why? Ohidunnoknow?

Maybe since having a violent encounter with someone I genuinely had feelings for made me feel not so wonderful? Maybe since I am still pissed at them for lying? And giving up? Lots of factors?

I don't plan to do some "make him fall for me again" headass shit. That's pointless. Even if he did like me, he'd never tell me, hence my present day irritation towards him.

Kinda fucked that all I wanted to know that night was:

Did he have lingering feelings for me?

If no, then what's the things that prevent you from seeing potential for us?

Also if no, then why say you wanted to kiss me that night?

And if yes, what's your main worries?

Plus, why not tell me sooner how you felt?

Mainly just to know how he felt.

At first, it was going okay. He was lying about not having lingering feelings, and giving fake answers. (Which is ten times more annoying than just saying, "I do like you and felt like the way you did in your letter, but I feel like it's too risky to try again due to (insert reasons here)".)

And let me tell you, when your ex is clearly just barely coming down from an MSG-induced panic attack, and she's on your porch, calmly saying she just wants the truth and to hear your reasonings for things.....

Two of the worst things you can do is:

Lie, especially in a way that twists the truth in a way that makes you look like a terrible person. (i.e., instead of saying "i like you to an extent but i think things have gone too far", versus "no???? i dont like you???? i only texted you that to be a fuckboy. i don't like you whatsoever, and see no worth to us", to.... your heartbroken ex.....)

Proceed to agree to tell her to come over to talk, just to then refuse to speak, or answer any question she has, even if she explicitly said "I just want to know, since if i dont hear the answers now, itll just lead to me feeling anxious, or having 'what ifs' and continuing to contact you, when I just want to give you space, and let things end, knowing the truth". (Him nodding his head in agreement, just to still promptly go, "Yeah, I still don't wanna answer why", just literally rung off alarms of "this man cares nothing about how anything he does makes you feel......")

Let me tell you, a guy opening up to me emotionally and being upfront and honest about his hesitation is 10000000x times more sympathetic, than the type of guy that will openly invite me over, just to purposely frame himself as an uncaring, unlikeable and unsympathetic fuckboy.

Like, not to validate me hitting him, since thats still out of line.... but, that was.... really stupid of him.

That's like if I walked up to my mom, when she was already vulnerable from something, and saying some dumb shit like "Ha, wow that sucks. Almost sucks like that time your mom drew a gun on you when you were a toddler right?", and claiming that i did it "to help her cope".

Then being surprised that she may yell/beat my ass for purposely being an asshole in a situation where actual empathy and comfort was needed.

I still understand WHY I franky didn't care how he felt in that split second. But, still, doesnt make it right. It makes it understandable, but not morally great.

Not a wonderful feeling, when you show up to his porch for the sake of having a decent final conversation that clears up all the lingering questions, fears, and burning questions on my mind....

And not only hearing that he just sent me the text about wanting to kiss me, to MESS WITH ME, but then refusing to answer any questions about why he saw no hope, knowing that hearing either good or bad answers, would prevent me from being up all night....

Yeah, showed he didn't care a single bit about whatever he does could make me feel.

And THAT is why I dislike him, so much. He's ALWAYS done this. That day we first broke up, he decided that scoffing and laughing at me while just brushing off any potential resolution, and not telling me the truth about how Azalea feels about me, hiding why she didnt wanna meet me, and blatantly saying he wouldn't even give me the benefit of the doubt for something I doubted would happen anyway, (what boyfriend cant even go 'yeah sure i wont hang out with the girl that stalks you online and talks shit about you, one on one, at a ridiculously late hour of the night???' Its such a low bar, and he couldn't even do that, or explain why it was so offensive, you know?)

So many incidents where all I wanted was the truth, and he never trusted me enough to let me have it. I don't know how he ever got to not trusting me after months of nonstop back to back being together, but he would never tell me. And even if he did, he would never resolve it.

What a fucking defeatist. He literally just.

Christ, man.

I don't hate him, but I do think he's stupid. Yknow, like how if I ever had a kid who did dumb shit, like purposely tried to go up a slide as a kid was coming down, putting fireworks on their skateboard and riding it, putting salt in their milk, or walking in front of someone swinging on the swings.....

I'd love my kid, and still think, "(insert baby name here,) you stupid airhead, how did you THINK that was gonna play out?!"

So, I see Patrick like.... idk, a kid who's really not smart, and doesnt have practical skills, but is still adorable and good at heart.

Ah, reminds me of a metaphor I wrote.

Patrick, when faced with conflict, acts like a kid who is refusing to take their medicine:

is a little asshole about it

despite trying to offer something helpful, will still see it as a scam/facade/"icky" and refuse it off the bat, simply out of fear or just not wanting to

will dramatically escalate a situation instead of just communicating and trying to be reasonable (he may not fling himself on the ground and start crying and screaming, but he's still got the "my way, or the highway", kinda pompous attitude)

tantrums thrown

offers no resolution

will deadass hide or run away instead of facing problems

will prefer causing discomfort to multiple people and thenselves, instead of the temporary discomfort of trying the unknown if it lead to something productive as well

would rather complain than do their part (like a sick kid complaining of being sick and yet refusing to take medicine, he will complain about being broken hearted but will not do the bare minimum)

when they actually try the resolution offered, and feel better, they are 1000000% shocked that "OH LOOK, the person on my side actually was looking out for me! And it worked! Wow!"

And as much as I still like Patrick, to an extent.... hes a mess.

I do deserve better. You think I wanted to leave him? Nah. Hot blue eyed Marxist movie nerd that was hitting my g spot with precision, slurping me like ramen noodles, and also genuinely a fun and interesting person?

You'd be out of your MIND to think my lonely ass would leave, unless I literally could tell it was headed to a downward spiral.

Since once that cute boy with the nice smile and the great waistline starts openly ignoring things that he knows makes you uncomfortable, sacrificing your peace for his contentment.....

Then, yes, it's time to leave.

He had so many other options to choose. The truth. Honesty. Telling me why she was scared of me. Blatantly reminding me that I was who he wanted. Anything.

I just hate that this was the route he chose.

I liked him. Period.

I left, since I knew he would never try.

And he left, since he knew he would never either.

So no amount of me liking him can let a man do the right thing.

If I just gotta leave, let him miss me, and be stupidly labeled "the crazy ex" or "the one that got away", then fine. It'll be like the other ones. And I'll just have to live with it, knowing my truth as well.

1:17pm. Wednesday, March 4th of 2020.

I wanna kiss him.

Not out of love, just to do it.

Thats all i wanna write for now. I should get some breakfast, buy some new zirconia earrings, and cash in my check.

Checks for days.

Peace.

#exes #yep #patrick #awesome

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rainsonthejust · 7 years ago

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Re-entering the Dating World, kinda...

The concept of dating again was not one I welcomed. I’m sure those of you who have been through divorce, understand what I mean when I say, I never thought I would have to date again, and I was perfectly happy with that. It’s safe to say, I thrust myself into this horrid thing, kicking and screaming.

So, I’m like an angry dater, I guess. I’m sure that’s attractive… Them: “Hey nice to meet you”. Me: “Oh yeah, I never thought I’d be dong this again but, here we are. Isn’t life fun?” Great first impressions. Who doesn’t like a bitter woman who is clearly not over her ex?

Yeah, I guess I pushed myself out in to the single’s world, a little too soon. I think for me, I just wanted to see what other sad and lonely people were out there, see my options. But also, I think I wanted to prove to myself I was still desirable. That I still had “it”. Proof I could find someone and not be forced to die alone, an old crazy cat lady.

I met a few people. I went on a few dates. Turns out I wasn’t alone. I found a bunch of divorced sad and lonely men. Dating in your thirties is SO much different than when you’re young. Everyone is looking for specific things, or they have already been married and jaded with a few kids from one or two other women and I found out vasectomies are WAY more common than I ever thought.

I think I’m dating regressively. Most young people date for fun, even in high school I was Miss 100 Questions. “Do you want kids?” “Do you want to get married someday?” I always knew what I wanted and if it had no future, I wasn’t interested. Since my breakup, I have been doing the opposite. I want zero commitment. I don’t want anyone who uses the words “serious relationship” or “looking for the one”. I found the idea of an actual relationship, physically repulsive. Disgusting, no thanks. So i got involved in a couple of Friends with Benefits-type situations. I was happy, a girls got needs. It wasn’t even really the sex. The sex was….eh. The intimacy though? That feeling desirable? It was like a drug to me. I needed that affirmation that I was still able to be wanted, that I could satisfy a man. (Losing the one person I thought I would never lose to another woman, really docked my confidence something fierce.) Strangely enough, I felt myself drawn to these broken men. I found their bitterness, their brokenness, and their sadness comforting, like being among friends. I guess maybe Misery does love company and these men got me. I didn’t have to pretend I was ok, and neither did they. We could enjoy each other’s company, touch, and affection, guilt-free. For the first time in my life, I was succeeding at casual relationships. I wasn’t getting attached and I wasn’t worried about getting attached.

Eventually those hookups fizzled out for different reasons, no bad feelings there. I went back to the dating sites… My sister-in-law convinced me that I should sign up for Tinder because she had a friend who met her husband on Tinder. Everyone has that one exception story, right? Against my better judgement, I signed up. A less than fruitful endeavor, I assure you. It’s definitely one of those sights more for finding hookups, but I didn’t want a hook-up per say. I wanted to meet someone I liked, but as a friend, and was attracted to, so we could potentially have sex, maybe. I didn’t want to enter in to some agreement that I would just sleep with someone. I’m not that kind of girl, I have some respect left. I know myself well enough, that I know if I were to do something like that it would only leave me feeling cheap, used, and bad about myself, definitely not something I need in my life.

One of these recent encounters sticks out in my mind. I had started talking to someone, he seemed cool, charismatic, funny, interested in similar things to me, also had a kid, so he understood that portion of my life. He called me on the phone the first time we talked. I thought things were off to a good start. All of a sudden, he sends me a picture of him naked…. Not something I asked for, or wanted. He tells me he’s just very sexually open and unashamed, but apologized for making me uncomfortable. Then he starts trying to get me to “help” him “help” himself, if you know what I mean. I tell him again that we just met and that I’m not interested in doing something like that. I remember feeling a sense of peer pressure, which was completely making me feel worse and worse. When I finally got through to him that I was not that kind of girl and I wasn’t looking for that and if thats what he was looking for, he would need to look elsewhere, he basically said to me “Well, you were on Tinder.” Like that somehow justified his actions. What, because I’m on a dating site, I owe you something? I was disgusted and frustrated. Within a day of talking online to two other men on a different dating site, one asked me what my “bra size was” because “they look so perky” and another asked me essentially how kinky I was in bed… Its amazing how fast you can be turned off when men treat you like you are an object and not a person. Is that the fate of women? Are we only worth what our bodies look like and what we can do with them? That’s just sad.

On the other hand, dating in real life isn’t much better. I met a man a week ago in person, everything was going great. We had a nice interaction, flirting back and forth, he was very charming. We discussed meeting and going out sometime, he gave me his number. (Interactions like this NEVER happen to me) I was psyched. I hadn’t been this excited about anyone since my breakup. Maybe this was it for me, I couldn’t keep my excitement contained. Unfortunately, with that much expectation comes a lot of anxiety and a desperate attempt to remember all the appropriate social decorum… When should I text him? How long do I wait between replies to text back? Questions questions and more questions. Then you text…. No answer….PANIC. A needless emotional rollercoaster, because case and point, I scared him off.

Basically what I’m trying to say is…. Dating sucks.

#dating #internet #relationship #woman #from scratch #starting over #online

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tenderborn · 7 years ago

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all the emoji meme

meme | accepting / emoji meme i guess.

i’m gonna fucking kill u

😡 : Worst role play-related encounter and what advice you would give to others to avoid similar situations?

uhhh ,,, probably the roleplay encounter i had in the transformers fandom that happened 2 -3 years ago. its a long ass story && it was over shipping && i was abused in various manners && it sucked. if you wanna know more come to me over IM or ask or smth. because its old news but .. also not.

✌ : Fondest role-play memory, between muses?

yikes uh .. any romantic non - sexual moment really ?? those are always fond, hard to pinpoint just one here, guys.

✿ : Fondest role-play memory, between muns?

when y’all send me positive asks / validation. the fondest moments are the sweetest. though shit, ages back in 2012, i had bad intrusive thoughts that landed me in hospital, i made a goodbye post && .. i came back to a fuckton of people wishing me well, worried && just .. it was sweet. idk.

웃 : An existing character you’ve played in the past that you miss?

megatron at @briittlesilverlord && any other blog that i had in transformers ; i just don’t feel comfortable there anymore even though i love him

ツ : An OC you created that you are proud of?

@liifeinclined. second to vivi it would have to be enyo. she used to me a transformers oc i only used with certain people && had been developing her for around 5 odd years.

유 : A role-play related instance that you regret/are ashamed/not proud of?

idk fam, usually people take it to far. i don’t really start drama on purpose.

♂ : Do you have a role-play/writing routine? If so, what is it?

used to be work, come home, replies && then sleep. now that im unemployed its all over the fucking place since video games have entered the mix more.

♀ : A trope you catch yourself falling back too often?

Youthful Freckles

☿ : A trope you dislike?

Plucky Comic Relief

✍ : Offer 3-5 tips on how to get other role players started on interacting with your muse.

1. don’t assume he’s a fucking idiot, it’ll turn me off in seconds because he isn’t an idiot, he’s smart.

2. be nice to him, offer him something cool or food. to beat him up, go nuts.

3. read my about for him please thank.

✉ : On average, how long does it take you to write a reply that you’re pleased with?

when not sleepy / not overstimmed: 5 - 10 minutes

when sleepy / overstimulated: 10 - 15 minutes +

❅ : Advice to non-role play blogs that want to get started?

honestly go for it, have fun, you do you && just give it a shot. ive been here since 2012 && earlier && it all started with just taking a breath && jumping into the lions den.

but god also, if someone bothers you to the point of stress, block them, they aren’t worth it.

✔ : What drew you to the character you currently play? What types of characters are you generally drawn to?

he was precious, small && i loved him. my types are weird bc its the really small soft types ( aph america, mikey, klunk, etc or EXTRA MURDERY ( james bond, megatron, xenya onatopp etc )

☯ : Greatest challenge to writing your character?

getting into the mindsets / canon sets for each incarnation

✘ : Any head canons you’d like to imply on you character but know they wouldn’t fit?

not .. that i can think of right now ??

✯ : A head canon someone else has inspired you to adopt?

fuuuuuc k .. probably canon when i studied the whole journey to the centre of mikey’s head episode a lot more. it wasn’t really a hc but more like canon with mikey’s internalized anger —- so i guess thats where his avpd came from.

➳ : Do you prefer writing on your own, on tumblr/a forum, or on an IM platform? Why?

tumblr. because ive been here for years && change sucks

▲ : What sort of information do you like to see on someone’s role play page that helps you determine whether or not you would want to write with them?

its dependent on basis ; what they’re rules say etc

▼ : Are there popular head canons for your character that you disagree with? Why?

can’t think of any right now ………………… yike

♫ : Are there parts of your own personality that you reflect onto your character? How do they work?

( awkward laugh ) my autism, anxiety disorder, etc. they work well, just watch.

❤ : What are some role-plays that you have done/are doing that you particularly enjoy and wish to share with your followers?

( gestures to the ones w/ @bushidobound, @orenjininja && @insurrxctioniist )

✈ : What do you think is your reputation in your role-play community?

that’s debatable.

⌘ : Where do you get some of your inspirations for plots/head canons? Offer an example, if possible.

idw comics usually, plotting with friends && sometimes canon ( lookin @ u sainw episode )

ღ : What sorts of plots/characters/scenes do you have the most difficulty writing, and why?

fighting threads. which sucks because its one of my favs.

☂ : Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way, and explain how.

asdfghj all of you ??????????? god though, @fireinclined ; because if not for them i wouldn’t have made vivi plus wouldn’t have thought about re-writing my old ass fanfiction. gives me ideas m’dude.

#Anonymous #long post for ts #🐢 ⎛i still have no idea but okay? | meme replies ⎠#🐢 ⎛i'm so trash for tourtals | mun ⎠

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lilietsblog · 8 years ago

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one punch man 10-12: the aliens

huh its episode 10 already man this anime is so short is it flashback time yet?

hi terrible Godzilla oh yeah its the S class introduction time

gotta love that theres actually competent military in this anime why is it such a rare thing jfc

seriously tho Saitama's superpower is NOT superstrength, that's just now how physics works I think he has sped up perception, and I suspect he had that to a degree even before he started his training, judging from how easily he managed to take on the crab guy, if not all of it but what his strength training gave him (awakened in him?) was basically reality warping no wonder he's bored: he ACTUALLY REALLY doesn't have to put any kind of effort into his punches, as it's not his physical strength that's doing any work there, it's literally reality bending to accomodate him that has got to suck reality warping ennui I love my egg son

I love how all of these monsters demand acknowledgement and don't just try and step on pesky human distractions that ignore them

okay yeah this dude did end up just trying to step on her

man Tornado is freakishly powerful and that's amazing

HI OLD MAN DUDE OMG SAITAMA AND GENOS ARE HERE

Genos oh come on you really should learn some self-defense actually

this sounds like an anime reference I'm not getting

I love that Silverfang at least appreciates Saitama's actual power

and Genos is just inviting Saitama to tag along this is adorable

I love how completely fucking extra all the heroes are and how ridiculous Saitama's low key normalcy looks by contrast

poor Tornado she's amazing but since she's only summoned for appropriate level threats it's not even interesting to be amazing

Watchdog Man is amazing

man you are so dramatic maybe start with explanations jfc there is no logic to this order of operations SAITAMA GOT HIS TEA IT'S FROM STARBUCKS IT'S HILARIOUS awww I love this cute lil bad boy who skipped his lil sis's piano recital )=

madame Shibabawa CHOKED ON A COUGHING PILL

poor Saitama not knowing anything I love how casual he is about asking what he doesn't know I wouldn't have managed >_>

you call it right Child Emperor this is very ridiculous granted the meeting holder dude is probably right but he's being very ineffectual about it

Saitama jfc why

IM REALLY GLAD HE GOT INTERRUPTED

oh yeah this is a completely irrelevant bunch of baddies isnt it

OH YEAH THESE ARE THE ACTUAL BAD GUYS GEE 'IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS' SURE DID TURN OUT TO BE SOON so yeah thats why the meeting holder dude was right

I love how much attention this anime cares to pay to civilians in trouble

man guys you should have hidden in that rut together instead of getting out

the knight guy is awesome

man thats... not all of city A that was destroyed

ahaha Saitama didn't wait for everyone my socially awkward egg acts on his own out of sync with anything <3 i can relate so much

man my favorite thing about this final fight is that it's going to involve collaboration it's not just 'Saitama saves the day' because he's just one person like with the fish king, Saitama was only able to save anyone because other heroes were there first and here there are multiple battles to be fought these dudes are important too

wow his stump sure isn't bleeding out

hey the swords at least slow the monster down that's not nothing

man this samurai dude is hella cool this entire squad is hella cool footsoldiers are important and I love this anime

I love that the kids are in front here it's a terrible idea and yet in context who's going to say no

jfc King you are way too fast to give up

sorry Genos this is a child

I love the peacemaker dude tho

ahaha Saitama is already inside I love him

oh dude you sure are confident in yourself

SAITAMA IS SPREADING DESTRUCTION a thing he's good at

man this guy's design is SO TOTALLY A REFERENCE

...so the flashback stuff is probably side material that I haven't downloaded isn't it

whatever, I'll just continue the liveblog

man this ending is nice it's just pure aesthetic, and it's such a nice grounding one the Earth that Saitama lives on, which is the same one we all do

hi humanization of the enemy to them, Saitama is the kaiju and yeah he kinda is reality warping powers do that

aww Saitama is not very good at finding vital parts of the ship to destroy eh

Saitama makes for an awesome creepypasta really an unstoppable juggernaut

...I really want OPM to become an endless shounen series it's worth it and it has political setup enough for SO MUCH to happen it features a cast FULL of people very ready for exploration and convoluted plots the first season feels like BARELY A PROLOGUE in what could be the grand scheme of thing

GUYS THE FUCK YOU DOING THERE PLEASE EVACUATE

hi Hammerhead!!! I love you!!! omfg is that your actual first name oooomg

omfg THIS GUY I LOVE YOU TOO I REMEMBER AND LOVE YOU

this show's unwillingness to kill anyone off IS AWESOME

hi Sonic <3 I still love your oni face

I love that the knight guy looks middle aged with wrinkles and all

YOO NICE OJI-SAN

GOOD JOB DISRUPTING COMMUNICATIONS BOI

GO SAITAMA WRECK SHIT

I LOVE THE BAD BOY HERO SO MUCH REALLY I LOVE THIS ENTIRE SQUAD AND THE MUSIC IS EPIC AND THE KNIGHT KEEPS WORRYING I LOVE HIM

sorry coordinator dude that's S class heroes for you

welp bye bye dude that's the batter figuring shit out <3

man poor coordinator dude he's trying his best

I love Saitama and his low key shit I love how the navigator TRIES HIS BEST Saitama is ONE SMART COOKIE oh man this dude can actually look hella intimidating

yeah the downside of telekinesis as a combat power is that you still need to have something to telekinesis unless you can just straight up telekinesis your foes i guess

oh hey gravity manipulation nice

sorry due Saitama's power is basically no sell of any other powers its kinda sad

ahaha hes breaking his own ship now

man this supreme telekinetic power sure isn't used to actual direct combat ....yeah he's ridiculously weak kidna

awww cute lil aliens

awww Child Emperor! <3

ah yes! this is what Tornado is for!

and Mumen Rider on the ground you is good job!!! i love that they give him spotlight so fucking much you have no idea this really is an anime exploring the idea of heroes

AW YIS MY GIRL FUCKING WRECK EM THIS IS EFFICIENT COOPERATION

AND TORNADO TRASH TALKS THEM YOU TELL EM GIRL YOU DESERVE THIS GLOAT

guys with indirect powers wait for guys with direct powers to give them a chance

AW YIS SMALL FRY HEROES COMING TO SEARCH&RESCUE THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE

I'm still amazed the Knight is still alive guess his power is some sort of invulnerability/healing

dude if you forget the defense and focus on attack they still outnumber you this would have worked better when you still had many heads

AW YEAH BOSS ENCOUNTER (SUCH A REFERENCE)

SAITAMA LOOKING DANGEROUS AS FUCK GOD JOB YOU IS

Saitama is like a white hole infinite energy he just makes his own

I love how Saitama is still not used to the change of his status from hobbyist to professional it's the small details that make it <3

ahh and this is the kind of fight Saitama wanted isn't it?

haha twenty years yeah strength training had fuckall to do with it Saitama had this potential since babyhood

I LOVE SAITAMA'S COMMON SENSE YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND ATTACKING SHIT TO ALLEVIATE BOREDOM HE'S FAMILIAR WITH THIS PROBLEM VERY MUCH

I LOVE THE EGG SHOT JFC <33333333

man Saitama's low key-ness looks really badass here best egg

I love that Saitama's movement isn't even running particularly well, it's just walking really really fast

awww Saitama's come to not expect much by now <3

haha sorry dude you're now match for Tornado's firepower hope she's got some way to watch out for civilians would be invaluable for search&rescue if she were free for it rn

oh hey Drive Knight there sure are lots of knights here huh

oh and it was Metal Knight who destroyed the town huh was he the dude who came in to test his weaponry against the meteor?

yup dude sorry outnumbered

so guys you might want to get the fuck out from under the ship now

I love the badass opening music this is Saitama's true potential too bad the plot isn't about it

lol I love how they both have pretty low expectations for each other

this dude is about to bring down his own ship heh

OMG SAITAMA DIDN'T NO SELL THAT THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING sorry dude Saitama has power beyond his own conception too

yeah you can heal yourself but Saitama wasn't hurt

man his pants are baggy and look hilarious

wow holy fuck and Saitama's method of surviving is ragdoll roll with it as much as possible I do that in the car to avoid motion sickness on bumpy roads

AND YEP HERE IT IS SAITAMA IS ON THE MOON HAHAHAHA HE IS NOT BREATHING AND THERE IS NO SOUND SAITAMA ARE YOU GOING TO PUSH MOON OUT OF ITS ORBIT NOPE JUST DESTROY A CHUNK OF SURFACE

aww hey dude vulnerable after all where Saitama just isn't

sorry Tornado you're awesome but that wasn't you

this dude is strong but he isn't Saitama fast he's not even Sonic fast just very strong

CONSECUTIVE NORMAL PUNCHES NICE NOT ENOUGH STILL SAITAMA MUST BE SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW (and yet vaguely dissatisfied still because something in his brain chemistry still isn't making this as awesome as it should have been)

I love Saitama's creative names Serious Punch

I love that Saitama never taunts, never doesn't talk to his foes he doesn't dehumanize them, ever

well yeah okay that was pretty curb stomp sorry dude but you still entertained Saitama more than anyone else ever managed to

I hope poor little alien crew members survive alright ^^;

aww and the master picks up his knight

TORNADO CAN'T YOU HOLD THE SHIP A LITTLE well whatever

oh hey Amai Mask who the fuck even are you dude what the fuck shut up? I love the bad boy he's saying it like it is dude they literally saved the Earth and everything that wasn't wiped out in a single strike???

Amai is an actual supervillain here isn't he

mm he could be S rank I see

oh hey Metal Knight there sure are a lot of supervillains holed up at the top of the Hero Organization huh well I mean it makes as much sense as anything to recruit anyone sane enough to come in

ALIEN SURVIVORS <3

WHAT THE FUCK AMAI WHY LOCAL LIGHT YAGAMI OR WHAT

awww Genos really has found balance with Saitama

so is Saitama already home or what ah nope there he is <3

Tornado you naive muffin

OMFG SAITAMA IS ABSOLUTELY HELPLESS IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND CALLS GENOS IN FOR HELP THEY ARE SUCH GREAT PARTNERS

'history-making events, the top stories for days' yeah i guess in this kind of world there's nothing to do but keep reconstructing and ignore the losses )=

OPTION TO LIVE AT HEADQUARTERS YEAH THAT REALLY NEEDED TO BE A THING ALREADY

anyway I love this anime

#liliet rewatches one punch man #still love it #still best

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thehallofgame · 7 years ago

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Review: Heavenly Sword

Release: 2007

My Rating: 8.5

Am I allowed to say this game has achieved cult classic status yet? I don’t know what the metric is, but regardless this spiritual predecessor to Hellblade deserves more accolades that it got at launch and a revisit from anyone who missed it the first time. Unfortunately for this fantasy themed, sword-based fighting game I think it was an unfortunate casualty of wrong time and place.

Heavenly Sword was an exclusive PS3 launch tittle in the era when anybody who tried to drop a sword combat based fantasy game was accused of making a God of War knock off. (Thank god we stopped saying that, because frankly God of War was not worth being called the standard and I have no idea why the gaming community decided anything else remotely similar was automatically inferior for so many years. #yikes.) So, right out of the gate there were two big strikes against the game, people wrote it off as a knock off of another game, and by the time the PS3 dropped it was miles behind the xbox360 in sales and so, despite launching with a veritable feast of exclusives by today’s launch standards, most of the PS3’s launch tittles languished. Which is tragic because Heavenly Sword was a beautiful game with a great concept, good story and a great cast of actors who did motion capture before it was The Thing To Do.

Heavenly Sword is set in a world that looks like it escaped from an east Asian ink painting. There are towering cliffs draped in snow, cherry blossoms drifting in the wind and waterfalls plunging hundreds of feet through sprawling temples and castles perched above and over cliffs. And through it all a genocidal war rages.

The tyrannical King Bohan, played by Andy Serkis of Lord of the Rings fame, is leading a conquest of the tribal peoples of his lands. One, the clan of the protagonist Nariko, is in possession of the Heavenly Sword. To them it is a holy relic that must never be used, to the King it is the last and most important feather in his cap.

Despite their best efforts the clan’s small band is soon routed by Bohan’s legions of goons and their surviving warriors and leader, who also happens to be Nariko’s father, taken captive. In a moment of grim desperation, Nariko decides to take up the Heavenly Sword, which forges a deadly pact. In return for the power to destroy an army the sword will suck out Nariko’s lifeforce until she dies.

The premise is grim as grim gets, so it’s shocking how funny the game often is. Nariko plays the straight-woman to the antics of her loose-cannon adopted sister Kai and King Bohan’s court of ridiculous and deadly generals. Andy Serkis gives a wonderful performance as a power glutted king barely holding the reigns over ridiculous underlings who look and act like they each escaped a different 70’s style kung-fu movie. Meanwhile, Nariko undergoes an intense personal journey from clan-outcaste and estrangement from her father to hero and martyr. For a game that’s only twelve hours or so long it packs an intense amount of story telling and character development in, and all that despite comically bad lip syncing.

The level design and gameplay focus around the story so tightly that this game is one of the most linear I’ve ever played. Lucky the pacing and difficulty curve is so spot on this is hardly noticeable. Taking the role of Nariko, and sometimes Kai, the player will be instructed to do their best impression of a one woman army and be let loose on the hoards of enemy soldiers as they’re funneled down corridors to their next goal.

The basic sword combat system is fairly simple, with two different attack buttons which can be pressed in certain orders to execute combos and rapidly fill up the chain gauge. Once the Heavenly Sword is acquired, however, things get much more complicated. The Heavenly Sword can take three forms which correspond to three stances, light, ranged and heavy stance.

Ranged stance is activated by holding the left bumper and has limited combos. In this stance Nariko swings two blades around on long chains to prevent enemy missile attacks from reaching her. This stance also has some use as crowd clearing. The light stance sees Nariko using the Heavenly Sword split into two, smaller swords for fast, darting attacks and long chains. Finally, the heavy stance uses only one large blade (not much smaller than Nariko herself) to deliver heavy, slow strikes. A few hours into the game the player will also allegedly unlock ‘aerial combos’ where, by flicking the controller upwards, they are supposed to be able to launch enemies into the air and combo them there. I never managed to do this on purpose. Luckily, while visually engrossing, the aerial combos can be safely forgotten.

Enemies also have the ability to use different attack stances and combos. Enemies surrounded by a blue aura are using light attacks and enemies using a orange aura are using heavy attacks. Both of which Nariko can block automatically if she’s facing the right direction and in the same stance, and if the player presses the triangle button at just the moment of contact Nariko will perform an unblockable and usually lethal counter attack. Some enemies, bosses and special armored units, have unblockable attacks that surround them in a red glow. These can only be avoided by jerking the analogue stick to roll Nariko out of the way. There is some awkwardness in this, as between the fixed camera angle and autotargeting Nariko doesn’t always go where intended, or attack who was intended, or even any enemy that might be right beside her over open air.

As Nariko fights, completes combos and smashes open health-restoring glowing jars a combo gauge at the bottom of the screen will fill. This serves two purposes. The first is to accumulate points to unlock new, higher level combos. The second purpose is the more immediate charging of a superstyle gauge represented by three orbs inside the circle of Nariko’s health bar. As the game progresses Nariko will unlock three tiers of superstyle attack, and each tier has an attack that corresponds to each of the stances. The low level attacks will annihilate one enemy in spectacular style, the highest level will efficiently clear the map. While most of these, as well as several of the counterattacks, are little more than glorified cutscenes they are beautifully executed, look powerful, fantastical and are often unexpectedly gutter-humory as Nariko is often quite willing to aim exactly for her male opponents’s most vulnerable bits. The combat in the game, when it is going well, makes the player feel like a force of nature mowing their way through improbable odds and even more improbable enemies.

Unfortunately this is somewhat betrayed by the occasional clunkiness of the systems surrounding combat. Superstyles are supposed to be activated by pressing the circle button while in the desired stance, but often the game doesn’t seem to detect the input or perhaps takes too long to trigger the attack, allowing Nariko to be clobbered by enemy attacks while a frustrated player pounds away on the circle button. Likewise, most boss encounters are resolved by a quick time event after enemy HP has been depleted but, similarly, pressing the circle button as instructed does not always produce the desired result. The game is fairly saturated with QTE’s, which is the bad news. The good news is that as far as they go, aside from the odd usage of the left analogue stick as a button input, Heavenly Sword’s aren’t too bad. There’s typically a convenient autosave immediately before, they’re quite short and usually feature Nariko performing a spectacle of badassery that’s delightful to watch.

There is also a small ranged component to Nariko’s gameplay that can be used in combat, but is quite often required for problem solving instead. However, while it’s fun in combat using it for puzzles can devolve into a bit of a chore. Nariko can lift and fling everything from dropped weaponry to entire corpses into obstacles and enemies to deal damage or hit switches. Once flung, holding the ‘throw’ button down transports the player to the projectiles point of view as it hurtles in slow motion. The player directs it with the analogue stick, or if they’re brave, the controller’s motion sensor. Unfortunately the sensitivity on the motion sensing is far too high and completely fails as a gimmick to highlight the controller’s gyroscope and is best turned off immediately.

Occasionally, the player will also take the role of Kai, who is a archer. She can’t block or even really absorb the damage of an attack, so though she can perform a dodge roll the goal is to keep her from being hit at all. Kai’s combat is much slower and more measured as she needs to huddle in cover to avoid enemy arrows, then pop up and aim as the player holds the left bumper and fires with the right. The arrows behave like Nariko’s projectiles, except much more deadly, as any body or head shot will take out any un-armored opponent. Kai’s arrows can also be set on fire and cause explosions. The Kai segments waver between fun changes of pace and eye-narrowing frustration on a fifty-fifty ratio. Ultimately I find them enjoyable but another player could easily have an intense dislike for the breaks in momentum.

Heavenly Sword is one of those games thats warts are clear and apparent while you play it, but hours after winning the game the good outshines the bad so strongly it’s hard to remember how bad the problems really are. The game executes a beautiful and poignant ending, accompanied by the game’s consistently beautiful score and weighty writing. There’s a bittersweetness to the end of the tale that’s hard to shake and caps off the story of the tragic hero the best way we know how. That more than eclipses most of the difficulties the player has reaching it, as does the short and sweet length of the game that’s just long enough to make its point and get out. This is a must play for anyone still stretching new life out of their PS3 and fans who are just now coming to Ninja Theory’s particular blend of fighting game and storybook commitment to aesthetic.

#heavenly sword review #video game review #thehallofgame review

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