#it sucks but. the world should not have to stay like that forever we have to learn to let people live

[concretecultist]

Kingdom Come

summary: you ask Noah, your Dom best friend, for a big favor.

pairing: sub!fem!reader x dom!noah

word count: 7.4k

THIS IS PURE FICTION!!

warnings: 18+!! BDSM, restraints, slapping/impact play, light degradation, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, p in v, oral (f receiving), subspace

A/N: this was purely self indulgent. please reblog and comment if you enjoyed 🥰

~Berry🫐

Life was kicking your ass. Harder than normal and the weight of the world was getting harder the bear.

Your job sucked, your body ached all the time and the one guy who you thought was going to be it for you, ended up ghosting you. All of it was a slap in the face and it was even worse when your landlord calls you to let you know the water would be off for a couple weeks due to maintenance issues. You guess you could tolerate it since he’s reducing rent during the time that the water will be off.

So, once you find out this information, you’re calling your best friend to see if you can crash there for a while. He had no problem with it. He no longer had roommates and often found himself missing having someone around.

So when you arrived and got yourself situated after a steamy shower to wash the day off, you find yourself sitting beside Noah with a question burning a hole in your tongue.

“I know this idea is out there but,” you choke on the words and realize how ridiculous this sounds.

“What?,” he keeps clicking away at his controller as he played his game, not taking his eyes off the screen. When you don’t answer, he takes a peak over at you and can see you biting your lip so hard it looks like it’ll bleed.

“Stop doing that,” he paused his game and used his thumb to gently pull your lip down from between the grip of your teeth, “What’s going on. It’s just me, Y/N,”

You look to him, twiddling your thumbs and decide it’s all or nothing, if he says no you guys can just forget you ever said anything.

“I need to turn my brain off,” you blurt out.

“Okay?,” he shrugs as if there was nothing to it, “I can have Folio bring some weed by,”

“No, I-,” you throw your face in your hands, cheeks burning as you think about it, “You are in the…. the BDSM scene and I want you to help me turn my brain off,”

His mouth drops in an ‘o’ shape as it clicks what exactly you mean. His hesitation has you feeling so silly. You should have just showered, went home and rubbed one out.

“Sugar, I’m not exactly sure you know what you’re asking for,”

You were his little sugar cube. Too sweet to know exactly what his life entailed behind the scenes. You never really seemed interested in it before. But little did he know, you were just nervous to show it.

He could be mean at the request of his subs during sessions and you were requesting it now but you were his best friend and he didn’t want to cross that line unless you were 110% sure.

“N-no, no I do,”

He’s briefly talked about his sessions enough for it to cause a burning of desire in your gut. You’ve never been in the scene but with the way things are going lately, you just need to be taken care of, to be manhandled and you’d rather do that with someone you trust.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” you mumble, humiliated now that you’d expect your hot, dom, best friend to do that for and to you, “I just made a fool of myself,”

The silence that he was giving after your initial ask was gnawing at your emotions, you just wanted to disappear right now.

“Sugar, it would be an honor but if we do this, there’s no going back because I’m going to want you forever,” his words spilled like the smoothest whiskey on the market. Sure, now this sounds like a typical cliche of friends to lovers but what’s wrong with that? Sometimes things like this are meant to become something more. Maybe that’s why long term relationship never worked for either of you… because you two were it for each other?

“Please,” your voice cracks with need. You had showered while he stayed on the couch playing a video game and yet your body is still tense.

“Follow me,” he stands tall before you, extending a hand in which you take easily. You could already feel some tension relieving from simply holding his hand.

He kept his pace slow, easy for you to keep up with as one of his steps equaled three of yours.

He had a spare bedroom that no one was allowed in, not even you and you guys had been friends for almost a decade now. So when he reached above the door to grab the key, you snatched your hand from his and took a giant step back.

“I can’t go in there,”

“Right, without my consent,” he peaked over his shoulder, “But you have that now and then some,”

You looked at him with wary eyes and he dropped his shoulders with a knowing sigh.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing,” his hands made their way onto your shoulders to deliver a comforting squeeze, “This is the way,”

One of his hands is gently cradling your cheek now and it’s so soothing that you can’t help but lean into it and he notices the way your eyes flutter.

He already knows you’re going to be so good for him tonight.

Noah leans his forehead down to yours and your lips are only a few centimeters a part.

“You trust me… don’t you, Sugar?,”

Immediately weak in the knees, noticing he’s already entering into his persona. You nod feverishly against him.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,”

A gentle peck on your lips has you leaning in for more when he pulls away.

“Take your hands off the wheel and let me drive,” is all he says before turning his back to you to unlock the door.

Time seemed to slow down when he pushed it open, a part of you wanted to close your eyes, still feeling nervous about seeing a space he deemed so private that he kept it locked up. Your hand is in his once more with him pulling you through the threshold as he flicks the light on.

Red fluorescent lights filling your vision.

It smells so good in here and you wonder how, considering what possibly goes down based simply off of what’s in here.

The bed frame looks like one luxurious bird cage, bolted to the floor and a sheer canopy draping over it. There’s bars hanging from the ceiling with cuffs hanging from them.

Open cupboards of different items like floggers, paddles then another filled with masks and gags, one full of toys. There’s a full fridge in here with a clear door and you can see different replenishing beverages and snacks.

This is his sex dungeon

“Something like that,” he spoke aloud.

Realizing your thoughts weren’t kept in your head you avert your gaze to the ground.

“I don’t use it much other than personal uses, any time I have a scene with someone I meet them at theirs. I’ve just been keeping this a secret until I found the one worthy to be in here,”

Your eyes widen as you raise your head to meet his.

“M-me?!,” poking yourself in the chest, “I… you mean me?!,”

His shoulders tremble in soft laughter, shaking his head at your disbelief.

“This entire time, I’ve just been wanting to bring you here but you never expressed any interest in the scene,” he played with your fingers in his grasp, something he always found comfort in doing.

“I didn’t know if you’d take me seriously. I’m not exactly… what comes to mind when someone says they want a submissive,”

“You’re exactly what comes to mind,” he brings you to a plush crimson couch, covered in velvet material. When your ass meets the cushions, he’s reaching to a table beside you to light a candle, bringing it over with him as he lowers himself into his knees before you.

“I’m going to go over a few house rules while I get you relaxed okay?,”

You offer a simple nod and he smirks,

“Rule number one- I always need a verbal answer. I don’t want to leave anything to the imagination and possibly misread body language, got it?,”

Swallowing thickly you nod once more, “I understand,”

“Good girl,” his hands make their way onto your calves, kneading the tight muscles, causing an involuntary moan in which you try to subdue.

“Number two, don’t be shy,” he says plainly, “I know this is new but you know me and I’m here to keep you safe so don’t shy away from me. Be as vocal and as emotional as you need to be,”

“I understand,” you answer once more. Your eyes watch his hands, curious when he picks up the candle, the flame flickering in his eyes.

“Three. Trust that I will never hurt you outside of what you ask for,” he tips the candle and a quiet gasp leaves your lips, quickly turning into a moan when the wax drips onto your tired legs, Noah instantly setting the candle down and massaging it into your skin.

“Pheromone massage candles,” he answered your unasked question.

“Four. I usually go by King during these scenes but since this is new for you I don’t want you to feel detached from me so call me Noah until you feel comfortable, okay?,”

“Y-yes,” your eyes cross slightly while his thumbs work into the sore soles of your feet. This was helping so much and just from this simple interaction, your core is buzzing already.

“Five. If you need to stop or directions are not okay or unclear- speak up. I’m going to need you to pick a safeword for me,”

You squirm on the couch, becoming putty in his hands as they move from your feet to your calves and now your thighs.

“Kingdom,” you answer with ease, if he goes by King might as well make it coordinate right?

“Good one,” he plants a kiss by your knee, “Rule six, no negative self talk or thoughts. I may degrade you but I will always follow it up with praise. You are loved and cared about, you understand me?,”

“I understand,” you nod.

“Seven. Have fun and let go. We are here together so remember I will always catch you,”

With his last rule he spreads your thighs, squeezing them to get a reaction out of you.

“Do you have any rules for me?,” eyes dark yet caring in the red glow.

“Don’t hold back,” an embarrassing whimper escapes, “I know I’m a rookie but I can take it and I know you’ll take care of me just…,”

Your hands grab his, holding them tight so he knows how bad you need this.

“Just don’t hold back. I need it, I know I’m safe so I just need you to hurt me, I need you to help me turn my brain off and surrender myself to you,”

Your words from earlier echoed in Noah’s head and he thought they were a crock of shit.

I’m not exactly what comes to mind when someone says they want a submissive

Bullshit. You were perfect.

He wipes his hands on a towel that he kept on the table with the candle, setting it and the candle back in their original spot when he was finished.

His hands are now sheltering your face because he can see your mind is still running a million miles a minute.

“What do you need from me right now?,”

You were embarrassed to say it.

“What were rules 2 and 7, Sugar?,” his voice pulled you from your own thoughts.

“To not be shy and to let go,”

He nodded in understanding, “So why are you breaking my rules and overthinking?,”

God, he was so good at this. The twinge of disappointment in his tone had your heart aching, you wanted to be good.

“Can.. c-can you smack me?,” your voice was barely a whisper and you knew he wouldn’t let that slide.

“Speak up, baby. Closed mouths don’t get fed,” his thumbs were rubbing such comforting circles on your cheeks, you couldn’t help but oblige.

“I need you to smack me,” it wasn’t a plea, it was a declaration.

Noah just reads your face. Studying your expression to see if there’s any doubt, any hesitation. He stands you up and then he leans in to kiss you with a sort of need that you’ve never been kissed with before. You two are breathing heavily in between and you can barely keep up. Your hands tangled in his shirt, pulling him closer, just wanting him to consume you.

He pulls away but before you can protest, you feel the searing heat of his open palm meeting your cheek. A gasp of surprise comes from you and yet again you’re left with no time to react when he does it again.

“Fuck,” you mewl, “More,”

He answers your demand with a little more power behind this one, the pain feeling so good you almost fall to your knees but luckily, he held you upright.

“Turn it off,” he says through clenched teeth, smacking you once more. If you were naked you know for a fact you’d be dripping down your legs, “Turn it off, Sugar. I see you trying,”

Hand on your neck, he’s pushing you backward and each step is another slap until he pins you to the wall, you can feel your eyes burn as the tears of desire being to rise.

You need this so bad.

“I said. Turn,” a harder slap, “It. Off!!,” with one more smack, you’re practically howling at how exceptional it felt, eyes closed as you welcome the sting that lingered on your flesh, feeling the heat running down to your neck and up to your temples.

Your head feels like you’re in limbo and when you open your eyes, he can see the change in yours and you can see the change in his.

You’re both in your designated positions. He has his hands on the wheel now. Your brain was off and the part of you that needed to be taken care of has entered the chat, the stressed version was locked away in a dark cell of your mind and would stay there until it was time to let her out.

“There she goes,” his hand soothed your cheek and you were liquid in his hands

“Thank you,” doe eyes shining up at him, he feels so proud of himself.

“Oh baby, it’s my pleasure,” he cooed, “Can you be good and undress for me?,”

“Can you help?,” your body was feeling fuzzy, like you had a few shots and were floating now. You felt like if you tried to undress yourself you’d topple over.

“Of course,” he felt gratified to be asked.

One article of clothing at a time until you were bare in front of him, pinned against the crimson paint on the wall.

“How are we doing? You okay?,” a kiss planted to your neck, his large hands running up and down your body had you sighing in content.

“On cloud nine,” you answer dreamily. You were in a daze, this room felt like your own amusement park now.

A room you once weren’t allowed in because this is his sanctuary. How many others were close to being brought here? How many others did he put in a hypnotic state?

“Put her away,” his gruff voice echoed in your ears, “She doesn’t get to come back. Lock it away,”

He could tell through your body language that you were starting to overthink again.

“Do we need to stop?,”

“No,” rearing back to look him in his eyes so he can see how bad you truly need and want this, “No. It’s turned off,”

“That’s what I need to hear,”

He brings you back over to the couch you were on a few minutes ago but this time he’s sitting on the cushion and he’s positioning you over his lap.

“Think you can handle a few spanks?,”

“Uh huh!,” excitement coursing through your veins, body jolting when you feel his lips press against the supple flesh that he was soon about to tenderize.

But first, he had to feel you. He has to feel your wetness coat his fingers. So his fingers trace figures on the back of your thighs and you’re jutting your ass up to get him to touch you, he delivers a light smack as a warning.

“Patience,” is all he speaks. Slowly but surely, his middle finger swipes your clit and lightly presses into your entrance.

He pulls a long drawn out moan from you when he fully pushes his finger inside. A quiet growl emits from his chest and your toes are curling.

“Noah pleeeeaaase,” you grip his calves, eyes rolling at his slow movement of removing his finger and reinserting it.

“What do you need, Sugar?,” you could hear the smile in his tone. The way he was speaking to you and touching you just made the anxiety melt away.

“Wanna feel your fingers. Always wanted to feel your fingers,” you couldn’t help but be unapologetically honest. For years you’ve watched his hands and how he talks with them, how he uses them to hold multiple things at once, how he sucks on them when he gets ice cream or ranch on them.

But until now you’ve always buried your desires deep.

“Oh yeah?,” without a warning, he’s stretching you open and you’re bracing yourself against his thighs, spreading your legs as open as possible so you’re not falling off his lap.

“You feel so good, Sugar,” he affirms, “So wet for me, so fucking warm,”

His fingers were reaching so deep it was intoxicating, never having experienced anyone with fingers as long as his has you going cross eyed.

“Thank you, Noah!!!,” your walls pulsing around his middle and ring fingers while his free hand soothed your ass cheeks before taking a big strike against them, the sound of his palm meeting your flesh bouncing off the walls.

“You’re so welcome, baby,” he picks up the pace of his fingers and he can feel the way you’re trying to get friction on your clit.

“Nuh uh,” he spanks you once more, “Be good, take what I give you,”

“Please,” singing a beautiful tune, you just want to let go for him, you want to crumble in his lap, you want him to feel what he does to you.

“Please what?,” another strike on your ass and another curl of his fingers inside you.

“W-wanna cum for you,”

“Is that right?,” there’s that teasing tone again, it makes you feel small but it only tightens the coil in your core. He moves his fingers with expertise inside of you and you think you’re about to orgasm strictly off of penetration which is rare for you. You almost always need clitoral stimulation.

“Please. Please. Wanna be good for you, wanna let go for you,”

You two have only just begun and you’re already a mess. You can hear the squelching, you can hear your heart thumping in your ears, you’re trembling.

You’re a fucking mess in his grasp.

“I think we should make your first one easy enough to earn,” he observed, positioning his knee right under your pelvis, adding the perfect amount of pressure as his fingers stroked the deepest depths of you.

“C‘mon, Sugar. Give it to me. Let it out,”

Your nails are digging into his calf and you’re drooling, rocking back into him but he didn’t mind this time, he’s enjoys seeing how desperate you are to cum, not just for yourself but for him.

You want to offer all you can to him. All of your emotions, all of your whimpers and cries, your mind, body and spirit.

“I’m gonna… can I cum, Noah? Please”

He gives a hum of approval and he can feel it, he watched your body swell with a deep breath and watched it deflate as you let out the most beautiful, guttural moan he’s ever heard.

His fingers halt their movements inside of you and he makes sure to rub your back to bring you back down.

“You’re okay,” a soft murmur leaves his lips while he slowly removes his fingers from your soaked hole, sitting you up and repositioning you in his lap so you’re straddling him.

“Be good and open for me,”

You follow his directions and bask in the glory of his fingers pressing down on your tongue, making you taste yourself. You collect your flavor but before you can close your mouth and swallow it down, he’s pushing his tongue into your mouth to taste you.

Your eyes instantly roll in the back of your head, relishing the taste of his mouth sharing the taste of you.

“Need you,” you pull away, hands cupping his face as if he’s made of glass, “Always needed you,”

His gaze softens for a moment, letting you know that ‘regular’ Noah hears you, that it’s not just his persona hearing those words.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he purred, “You have me, Sugar. Just as I have you,”

With ease, he lifts you up and walks with you to the cupboards.

“Pick a toy, a gag and a restraint and come to the bed when you’ve made your decision,” a kiss is given to your temple and he walks away, leaving you to make your choices without any pressure. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and makes his way to the bed.

He has so many trinkets to choose from. He just stock piled all of this stuff until he found the one? He really is a stickler for this kind of thing.

After some careful self-deliberation, you grabbed your chosen items and made your way over to him. Noah sat patiently within the doorway of the cage-like bed.

“I chose these,” you offer them to him and he gave an intrigued ‘hmph’

A rose, a silicone bar gag and wrist-to-thigh cuffs.

“Good choices, baby” standing up and kissing your forehead, he moves out of the way so you can see the bed. Silk red sheets, chains hanging from the bars, and the sheer canopy keeping secrets in with just a glimpse of what was to come.

“Climb up,” he pats your ass and you do just that, at a leisure pace so he can get a good view of you from behind. When you sit flat, you see him entering and closing the door behind him.

This feels much more intimate than just any ole bedroom. The lighting, the enclosed space, all of it made you feel closer to Noah.

“Before we start, take a drink for me,”

“But I’m okay,”

“Did I ask that?,” he tilts his head, eyes squinting as if to tell you ‘watch it.’

“I’m sorry,”

He cracks open the bottle and holds it to your lips, giving you a knowing look as if to say ‘I told you so’ when you drink down half the bottle.

When you’re finish he sets it to the side and hovers over you until you’re laying back on your elbows, eyes not leaving his.

“How are we doing? You still okay?,”

“I’m perfect, Noah,” a tender smirk made its way into your face, “I know I’m safe,” you assure.

“Are you okay? I know this kind of thing takes time, just don’t want you to feel pressured,” you inquire.

“There you go overthinking,” he kisses your neck, “For you, it’s easy to turn on. You never took notice to how I always took control? No matter what we did?,”

He’s got a point. Any time you two went out grocery shopping because you were anxious and didn’t want to go alone, he hooked his arm with yours, took your list and did all the shopping. Any time you two went out to the movies, he’s picking your snacks and drinks and doing all the talking. A hand on the small of your back each time you two were out, always helping you zip up your dresses or fastening your necklaces.

It was subtle, but it was always there.

“I was made for you. I was made to take care of you,” he continues his trail of kisses, planting them wherever he pleases, “And you let me. Which means you were always mine,”

A relaxed sigh is released at his words. He’s right and you know it.

“So, knowing this. I’m more than okay and am filled with joy of knowing that I get to break you and put you back together again, over and over,”

Bucking your hips up wasn’t a good idea, considering he pinned them down and got your restraints ready.

“I need this. Noah, please I need you” a shameful cry bounces off the bars of the enclosure you found yourself in.

“I know,” he growled, fastening your hands into the cuffs and attaching the other bands to each thigh. With your hands tied to your thighs now, you wouldn’t be able to touch him.

“You need me to wreck you. To hurt you so that the stressors of your everyday light aren’t plaguing your brain for once,”

He squeezes your cheeks so your lips are parted and lifts your head up to move your hair out of the way so he can tighten the gag.

You looked so beautiful like this.

“I’m here to give you just that,” he grabs the rose, “I don’t care how many orgasms it takes. I’m going to reduce you to nothing and fill you back up with worth again. I will end you and resuscitate you over and over again until you’ve had enough. Is that understood?,”

“Yeth,” you slur around the gag.

“Good,” on his knees, between your legs, he turns the rose on and the low hum fills the space, he leans forward to spit on your nipples before placing the opening of the toy over your harden buds, your back swiftly arching off the bed with a moan around the silicone.

He’s at this for a while, just teasing your nipples, biting at your jawline, groaning in your ear until you’re leaking onto the silk sheets.

You’re begging around the gag but he just teasingly looks at you as if he can’t understand you. But he knows. He knows where you need him.

“It’s a lot, are you sure you can handle it on your clit?,” he smirks so devilishly it’s almost scary. But the twinge of fear makes you ache.

“Mmhmm mmhm!,” already drooling around the bar, you nod feverishly, just wanting to feel something, no, needing to feel something.

You get what you desire when he sits back up on his heels to spread your legs even wider to get a perfect view of your swollen clit, glistening as your arousal is painted all over your core.

When he finally attaches the toy to your clit, your toes are curling, your eyes are rolling and your back is arching.

Maybe you weren’t ready for this, maybe you should have gotten a wand or something.

“Relax,” he says simply, using his own legs to pin yours down.

“Breathe, Sugar. Just breathe. Look at me,” he sees the way your eyes are swimming with tears and it brings him satisfaction, especially when your chest is trembling from him keeping the buzzing toy on your sensitive bundle.

“It’s a lot, I know but I wouldn’t give you more than you could handle,”

He slowly inhaled with you, guiding you to calm you down but it was just too much, so much that you’re already cumming and groaning behind the gag which causes Noah to darkly chuckle.

But he keeps it there. He keeps the rose there and you’re convulsing under him when he sinks his fingers into your messy core.

“That was pathetic,” he looked into your eyes, “And you didn’t even ask,”

He got so much amusement out of your whimpers, how the hell were you supposed to ask with a gag in your mouth?! But maybe that’s the point? It’s a set up for him to milk you as a form of torture.

It was sadistic but, you were the masochist after all.

“You’re so creamy,” he said in a daze, absolutely obsessed with the way you’re painting his fingers, your walls pulsing around his appendages as if they’re trying to draw them in and keep them there.

“Noaaaaaaahh!!,” your cries muffled, your face so wet from the tears and the spit but Noah finds it beautiful, if he could, he’d paint how you looked right now and frame it, get it tattooed even.

“You can do it. You asked for this, remember?” His eyes rolled at the feeling of his fingers deep inside, drenched in your offering, his tattoos glistening, catching his eye in the ruby lighting. He just wanted to be bottomed out in you already.

You’re calling for him from around the gag, breasts shaking as you’re overcome with yet another blinding climax. Your nails dig into your thighs, just wanting to dig them into Noah’s instead and pull him toward you. You wanted him, you craved him.

“Sshhhh. You’re okay, Sugar. You’re doing so well for me,” he picked himself up off your legs and grabbed a rag to wipe the spit that dribbled down your chin, “I’m gonna turn you over, need you to give me one more before you have me. One more and we can take the cuffs and gag off okay?,”

Sitting you up, his hand supporting the back of your head as he checks over you, making sure you’re okay.

“Do you need anything? A break, water?,” he breaks character for a moment

With a verbal “Nuh uh” behind the bar, you let him position you like a Barbie, letting him move your legs, manually arching your back and propping a pillow under your head so you were comfy and could breathe.

You feel him leave open mouthed kisses on your ass, biting the pillowy skin just to hear you hum in delight.

“Can’t wait to give you what you want,” Noah positions himself under you so he can stare right up at your leaking heat, no matter the angle, it was a mesmerizing sight to see, “But first, I just need to taste you.”

He exasperated in desperation before using his hands to grab your ass, bringing you down and lifting his head to feast.

Your fists are clenching in your restraint and your moans are flowing from your chest like a river. His tongue worked your overstimulated clit, suckling and licking. He ate as if you were the finest delicacy, trying to savor but also consuming you with greed.

Your body just responded to him without a fight, you were his puppet and he pulled the strings but you happily danced for him, giving him what he wanted. Yet again you feel his fingers push into you, you’d never get enough of his fingers, he knew how to use them and he knew how to use you. You were a howling mess against the pillow when you feel your next orgasm approaching. How did he expect you to stay up like this? Your legs felt like jelly and you were falling a part.

“You can do it, baby. I feel it. You’re almost there,” he murmured against your pussy, “One more and you can have what you want but you gotta show me you want it,”

Oh God did you want it, and bad! Your head felt fuzzy, your body was playing tug of war, fighting between it being too much versus you wanting it.

You gave in. Pussy pulsing, chest burning from hyperventilating and muscles aching. Despite it all, you’re cumming for him again, giving into your deep craving to just be his doll.

“You’re such a good fucking girl,” he cheers, drinking you in. He pulls himself away to position you on your back, quickly working to remove your restraints and gag.

“Sit up for me, Sugar,”

Your head lulling to the side, both of you giggling about it. He has you drink some more water and cleans your face with the towel again.

“I’m ready,” it was a simple whisper, “Show me what I’ve been missing. Please, King,”

The title takes Noah by surprise. He thought it would take a few sessions to get you fully under his spell but, you truly were for him. You were ready to bow to him, to fulfill every quest he bestowed upon you.

It kind of pulled at his heart strings. Whenever he was out in the scene he only cared about showing the subs a good time, a time for him and them to release and never see each other again. But this, this was euphoria.

“Lie down for me,” he hums, taking off his lounge wear and boxers so he’s bare just like you are.

He was a beautiful man to begin with but to see him like this in all his glory? It had you feeling like royalty. Others got to see him, yes, but you… only you get to see him.

He makes sure you’re comfortable before he inches forward, the tip nudging your clit and he grabbed your hands when you flinched away at the contact, lacing his fingers between yours.

“Don’t run away from me,” his lips were so plump, glistening with his spit and you just know they still taste like you.

“Call it before I ruin you,” he gave you one more chance.

“Do it” it wasn’t a teasing phrase. You wanted it. You have yearned long enough and now your wish is his command. His pins your clasped hand to the bed and takes your free hand, guiding it to his cock.

“Take it,” he ordered.

He was a perfect mix of girth and length, a mouth water red tip that shines with precum, two prominent veins, yeah- he was going to destroy you.

You couldn’t help but stroke him, watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes closed gently, this is the face of a King all right. Scooting closer to him, not wanting to leave any space, you slapped his tip against your own clit, the breath of both of you hitching in tandem. The noises that emitted from between the two of you, while you rubbing him against your entrance, were sinful.

“Show me what you’ve been wanting. Show me how bad you need me,” he growls, hiking both of your legs around his waist.

You guide him into you slowly, the eyes of both of you going wide, rejoicing in the way he fit in you like a missing puzzle piece, filling you up to make you whole.

“Fuck!,” choking on your own spit, the heels of your feet pulled him in so he could bottom out. You needed to catch your breath because you know once he gets started, you’ll lose it again. He drew in a shaky breath, bewitched by how good you feel.

“Give it to me,” you squeeze his hand, “Make me yours. I want to be yours. Ple- Oooooh fuck!!,”

His hips drew back and snapped into you, cutting you off as the pleasure drowns you. He kept the stacattoed pace, just taking in your expressions.

But then he saw the way you looked at him, it was a look of complete surrender, a look that says “I love you, I trust you”

It was a look to tell him to let go.

So, he used his free hand to take your thigh and press it back so your knee was almost touching your chest. This wasn’t Noah, the King was here and he was going to show you exactly why he was given that title.

You’re pinned beneath him from all angles and it’s overwhelming. His chain dangling in your face with each thrust, his voice smooth like suede as he talks you through it.

“Just like that, pretty girl. Take what I give you,”

Your moans slipped out like a hot knife to butter, he was fucking you through the mattress, bodies tangled and noises echoing through the room, he was making you melt.

“S-so fucking good!!,” the tears were spilling from your eyes and he just kissed them away without missing a beat.

“I know, Sugar,” he bows his head into your neck to leave a trail of bites, sinking his teeth into your dewy skin, your cries of surprise being music to his ears. You welcomed the pain of his biting, he had beautiful teeth and you always wondered what it would feel like for him to bite you. You don’t care if any marks are left. You’re his, he can leave marks for you to brandish all he wants.

“I’m so proud of you,” he grunted into your ear, “Coming to me all vulnerable, wanting me to take care of you and now you’re taking it like the good little slut you always wanted to be,”

“Please!,” your free hand tangles in his hair, your other makes crescent shaped dents in the back of his hand that held yours, “Please, fuck! Don’t stop!,”

Noah lifts his head to see the spaced out look in your eyes, half lidded and dick drunk. He never thought he’d see you like this.

“Please what? Use your words,” he pulls back from you to watch the look of despair on your face when he slows down.

Your words are caught in your throat, finding it hard to make a coherent sentence.

“Please, what, Sugar? Don’t make me ask again” He lets your leg go to grab the bar of the caged bed above your head, preparing to pick up his pace when you admit what you need.

“W-wanna cum around your cock,” it was a strong wail, one of pure carnal desire.

“You need it that bad?,” he teases.

“King, please. I need it so bad!!,”

The wind is knocked out of you as he sets his pace, rolling his hips, the tip of his cock rubbing against every sensitive spot within you, causing you both to be vocal. A harmony unmatched. His whimpers fueling you to make it to the finish line. He wasn’t ashamed of the noises he made, especially because he saw how they impacted you.

He let go of your hand and smacked you just like he did earlier, eyes rolling once again as the heat only adds to the pleasure.

“More, please, please, please!!,”

“Such a dirty fucking slut. Getting off to her King slapping her around like a rag doll,” he smacked you again, earning another loud cry from you, he could feel just how much you love it, he can feel it when you clench around him each time his hand meets your cheek.

“Yes, yes,” your eyes never left his, not shying away.

“You like it when it hurts?,” another slap delivered, “You like it when it hurts knowing I’ll make it all better?,”

“Fuck!,” the tears just keep spilling but he knows they’re tears of release, of pleasure, they’re tears for him. Another offering to the King.

“I’m gonna make it all better, Sugar. Just keep being good and taking it, okay?,”

“Y-yes,”

He grabs your cheeks, squishing them together again so his tongue can slide in your mouth effortlessly. Teeth clashing, spit being swapped, the energy between you two was potent, a potion that you’d keep coming back for, drinking it down without being asked.

“I wanna cum for you,” biting his bottom lip, you pull back with a fucked out smirk on your face, “I wanna make a mess. I wanna show you that I’m worthy,”

“I already know that you are, baby,” his thumb tracing small circles onto your clit, his other releasing the bar and coming to wrap around your neck, “I know you’re my pretty little slut who will do anything to stay in my good graces,”

When his hand began to squeeze at your neck you were done for. Your moans came out in tremors, you were clutching onto him in anywhere you can. You groan at the loss of contact on your clit until his thumb is replaced with the same toy he wrecked you with earlier.

“You’re gonna take this toy from me. You’re going to be a good girl for your King and make yourself cum on my cock. You hear me?,” his voice was dangerously low now, letting you know there was no negotiation.

With a shaking hand you snake your hand between the two of you, grabbing the bulbous toy from him and holding it against yourself despite your body telling you to pull away.

“You’re doing great, baby,” he assures, a soft kiss placed on your lips, “Just focus on me. I’m right here,”

He was so close now. One hand on your throat and the other holding the back of your head, pressing your foreheads together.

“My King,” you gasp, chest heaving as you feel yourself ready to fall off the edge.

“I’m gonna catch you. I’m always going to catch you, baby,”

Your eyes stared deeply into his and you just sobbed, needing this more than anything and you just cried. Getting fucked within an inch of your life so good you’re crying was not something you expected to happen considering your past endeavors with men who only cared about getting their own rocks off.

“I know. I know,” he’s still driving his hips deep into you and you’re circling the toy lightly on your swollen, cum soaked bud, you were almost there.

“Give it to me, Sugar. Give me what you owe me,”

And that was all she wrote.

With one deep gasp to fill your lungs he delivers a strong thrust, your fingers trembling around the toy so hard you accidentally turned it up to the next level and you were done for.

You practically screamed as Noah siphoned your orgasm out of you. You were shuddering beneath him as he kept thrusting, still talking you through it.

“You’re okay. You did so good for me, I’m right here. Fuck!”

With one last searing kiss, Noah is stilling his movements, emptying himself inside of you, both of you practically giving each other mouth to mouth CPR as you try to catch your breath. His head has fallen in the crook of your neck and your eyes are fighting to stay open.

“You can come back down now. Come back to me,” he mutters.

You slowly regain all your senses back. Taking in your surroundings and what just happened. As everything hits you, your cries echo in the room.

“Hey,” Noah is quick to sit both of you up and set you in his lap, “What’s going on in that head of yours?,”

Swallowing your cries and wiping your eyes you search for him, eyes connecting, the same beautiful brown eyes you could point out in any crowd.

“Thank you,” is all you say, “I needed that. More than you know,”

He smiles in relief, worried that the scene had somehow upset you.

“We got to get you cleaned up. We’ve got some aftercare to do and some things to talk about,”

Once both of you were all bathed, Noah took the time to moisturize your skin, apply soothing lotion to your ass and even being gentle in doing your skincare routine for you.

Once he has you curled up in his bed, he went to go clean the other room and brought back some snacks and water with electrolyte packets.

He takes it upon himself to feed you all while affirming how good you were. That you’re loved and cared for, not wanting to leave any room for doubt to sneak in.

“You okay to talk?,” he questions.

You sit up against the headboard, worried about what this talk can pertain to.

“I see the cogs turning, relax,” he soothes, “If you want this like I want this we need to talk,”

“I want this,” you answer definitively. He can’t help but laugh at your excitement.

“I know it’s a little too late to say that I don’t want to rush into things but, I’d like to rewind a bit and start at square one,”

“And that is?,”

“A date,” he answers simply. Sure you’ve gone on friend dates all the time but this is different, this is serious, “I want to build it from the ground up. I know we’ve been friends for ages and have built trust but this is different and I want to build a stronger foundation because I want this to work,”

You take in his words, listening as he goes over his requests and needs for the relationship. You gave him your own list of demands and found yourselves giddy at the fact that yes, you two are a living cliche.

But who cares?

It was you and Noah against the world now.

Til Kingdom Come.

This idea was burning in my head for ages and I had to write it!!

Please be sure to reblog and comment if you enjoyed, thank you for your support!! 🥹

~Berry 🫐

tags: @lma1986 @thisbicc @theroyaldixon @whatitsdecending

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM LIFE IS STRANGE, SEASON 1 *  assorted dialogue, suggested by ismelodrama, adjust as necessary

everything is a picture waiting for be taken.

you're just jealous of me because i actually do the things you can't.

are you hiding something?

i'm sick of your disrespect. tell me the truth!

i don't want to fight with you anymore. i don't want to fight with anyone anymore.

i was eating those beans!

how the hell did you know about that photo?

always take the shot. my number one rule of photography.

you just don't listen, do you?

there's something weird going on with you.

you've only been here for three weeks and you're already causing conflict.

after this week, you are certainly not a little kid anymore.

not now. i'm contemplating shit.

are you fucking kidding me? this is major bullshit!

i didn't have all the evidence at the time.

we all make decisions we regret.

i'm not gonna make any excuses for my behavior.

i'd put stephen hawking against picasso any day.

it sucks to be dragged into the spotlight.

nobody believes me anyway.

you're exactly the kind of soldier i'd want by my side in a war.

why the hell not?

i almost asked you to hang out.

you should have asked me.

maybe we're too much alike.

i don't believe anything you say. you're full of shit.

eat a dick, [name].

i'll be in the tardis getting my delorean ready.

since you're the mysterious superhero... i'll be your faithful chauffeur and companion.

you don't know who the fuck i am or who you're messing around with.

where'd you get that? what are you doing? come on, put that thing down!

don't ever tell me what to do! i'm so sick of people trying to control me!

so you can't help me?

i told you before that i'll always believe you.

i may be a pest but... i'm a good listener.

you're the bravest person i've ever known.

for every action, there's a reaction.

i'm trying. but you have to understand my position.

i know i can be a pain in the ass... and you've always treated me like a person, not a beta nerd.

why do you want all your friends to die?

oh i see. i'm not important to you anymore.

nobody lectures me. everybody tries though.

do not analyze me! i pay people for that.

hey, that's total slander!

you don't know shit about my father, or me.

you're all fucked!

everybody hates me.

[name]... it's me. i just wanted to say i'm sorry.

i truly am sorry for being such a bastard.

you would have been cool to hang out with.

you might as well choose me.

i'm not perfect, okay?

you have talent, [name].

you don't have to push people out of your way.

thanks for admitting again that i have some talent.

do you think it's, like, fate we're not supposed to be friends?

nobody says we have to be friends.

everybody lies. no exceptions.

i came for all of you.

i'm in a nightmare and i can't wake up.

no wonder they call it a "web." nothing can ever get out.

i wish i could go back in time and erase everything.

just tell me you do have the photograph.

now shut up and listen.

i'm not a real scientist.

i was just happy just being your friend.

[name], i'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

i don't think i can concentrate on going out to the movies.

everybody pretends to care until they don't.

even angels need angels, [name].

i might be naive, but i feel their struggle.

why did you stop me from jumping?

this shit pit has taken everyone i've ever loved.

when a door closes, a window opens... or something like that.

i keep going back in time.

how could there be a more important moment in history?

thank you for trusting me.

hey... be careful out there.

what kind of friend are you?

you never understood me, or what happened to me.

i'll always be alone, thanks to you.

just in case we don't get out of this...

i'm going to make the right choices from now on.

i've been feeling like this might be actually the end of the world.

i hate to say that i'm glad to see you, but i'm glad to see you.

i wish i could stay in this moment forever... but then it wouldn't be a moment.

if that tornado came right now, i would just sit here and watch for a while.

i just feel like escaping.

i have total faith that you'll do the right thing when the time comes.

with great power comes great bullshit.

am i pushing myself too hard?

you like to hurt people, huh?

i'm glad you decided to escort me.

i know this is a bad time, but can i get one picture?

of course i believe you. you're the most amazing person i've ever met, and i'm glad you trust me.

i don't have a fucking clue what's going on.

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as 1989 Songs

+ bonus! the slytherin boys as romance tropes

I decided to shake this one up a bit and do all happy love songs

here's 1989 (tv ofc); which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as I Know Places

best lyric(s) - "let them say what they want we won't here it" + "love's a fragile little flame it could burn out" + "just grab my hand and don't ever drop it"

trope - enemies to lovers :)

mattheo w a crush - in love, mattheo is somewhere in the middle between being sappy and just straight up insulting you. not like calling you ugly or anything but like "damn i didn't know it was possible to mess up such an easy spell" like kind of teasing. he's one of those guys that will be mean at first and then be like playfully mean and then finally, will start being nice to you but only sometimes. he just thinks you're adorable when you're angry.

mattheo as a boyfriend - now as a boyfriend, mattheo still teases the hell out of you but god forbid literally anyone else does bc he'll kill them. like actually. also the pair of you go through a little bit of a rough patch during the war and he keeps telling you that you have to stay way from him but secretly, he's really happy that you never actually listen to him because he doesn't know what he would do without you. he just kind of ignores all the whispers and hogwarts becomes your guys' like safe little happy love bubble.

draco malfoy as Out of the Woods

best lyric(s) - "the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color" + "when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you" + "I walked out I said 'i'm setting you free' but the monsters turned out to be just trees"

trope - everyone can see it except for you

draco w a crush - I think draco would be the kind of guy that actively avoided his crush. like if you were sitting in the very front of transfigurations, he was sitting in the absolute furthers corner in the back. If you were going on the hogsmeade trip, he was begging his friends would leave him to simmer in his affections for you. he's just so nervous and so certain you'll dislike him that he'd rather not talk to you at all. when he finally does work up the courage, he's extremely happy and like eternally grateful that you'd give him a chance.

draco as a boyfriend - i do think though that draco is not always the best at communicating just because he always wants everything to be so perfect and he doesn't want there to be anything that he says that could make you resent him so he'd rather not say anything at all. obv, this doesn't work out well for him cause like... communicating w you is so essential. y'all get into arguments fairly regularly but you always end up making up because he's always just creating those demons in his head and it's almost never that serious.

theodore nott as Suburban Legends

best lyric(s) - "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious" + "when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" + "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out"

trope - hopeless romantic

theo w a crush - I think with a crush theo would be the kind of guy that just simps like a mf. like you need someone to carry your books, he's there, why would you even try to carry them yourself? just let him take care of it. or like, when you're not feeling well and you might need to spend a few days in the hospital wing, while you're sleeping theo sneaks in and leaves the notes for the classes you missed as well as your favorite sweets and flowers. (one time when michael corner made you cry, he beat the snot out of him and then the next day left this huge teddy bear outside your door with the note "y/n, that douchebag sucks. -tn")

theo as a boyfriend - theo's simp nature carries over when he's a bf so he's super freaking caring. he does literally everything for you. he'll brush your hair when you get out of the shower if you ask. or if you're like me and you have like thicker ethnic hair, he'll ask you to show him how to do your hair so that he can do it for you. he's also one of those guys that's like casually dominant. like hand on your lower back in a crowd, opening your doors, reaching up and grabbing things from the top shelf for you. naturally protective in the sense of like he always wants to sleep closest to the door in case something happens and like is also always making sure you eat and get enough water.

lorenzo berkshire as "Slut!"

lyric(s) - "and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love" + "and i break down then he's pulling me in. in a world of boys he's a gentleman" + "got love struck went straight to my head"

trope - friends to lovers

enzo w a crush - enzo is the kind of guy who's not afraid to be in love. he actually loves it. he loves having someone to compliment and shower in gifts and win over. where mattheo would tease you, draco would avoid you, and theo would lose himself in you, enzo is the guy who would bring you inexplicable joy and make sure you knew that it was him that was bringing you joy. not to say that he wouldn't do sweet gestures and such but he's the sort of guy that will make you his best friend and then make you fall in love with him.

enzo as a boyfriend - because of this, you and enzo are like those like childhood friends turned lovers type of thing. he just knows you so well and the love between you two comes so easily. he makes it his personal mission to make you smile at least once a day. as your boyfriend, he's just really playful. things like pillow fights and tickle fights. he's also that boyfriend that will do all those little stupid tiktok trends with you but like really energetically and not just like half-assed bc if it's gonna make you smile, he's going all in.

---

4.25.24

wc 1k

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[vhagarlovebot]

I WON’T GIVE UP.

♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )

pairing: modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader

summary: aemond has a lot of insecurities and this time they end up being stronger than his love for you.

content warnings: angst, break up, exes to lovers, aemond being an insecure little baby.

note: okay so i used this gif because that is how i picture modern!aemond (maybe with his hair a little bit longer and silver). and i know it's supposed to be a latina!reader but there are no descriptions more than calling her a latina, i don’t like to physically describe her (if you have read any of my fics, then you know). if there are any grammatical errors i apologize, english is not my first language! hope you enjoy.

IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE aemond broke up with you.

you were– are so in love. you thought everything was good, he never showed the opposite. but then one day he said he couldn’t do it anymore, walking out of your life, leaving you alone with the million broken pieces of your heart.

but it has been hard for aemond too. he never wanted this to happen but sometimes his insecurities are stronger. and in this case, they are stronger than his love for you.

“okay, you need to get the fuck out of here.” aemond’s door opens, revealing aegon being closely followed by jace.

“what?” he asks from under the pile of books on his desk.

“you have not left your room since you b–” jace stops talking mid-sentence, your name is banned from the house since he lost it at a family dinner a week ago. everyone was shocked at seeing aemond so angry, he had never reacted like that before, no matter of angry or annoyed he was, aemond always stayed composed.

“i have a paper due this week.” he says, going back to ignore them.

“you’ve been saying the same thing for three weeks.” aegon huffs, closing the book aemond has in from of him. “i know we all have different ways to cope with a break up, but yours sucks. you can’t hide from the world forever.”

aemond rolls his eye, turning around on his chair. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“c’mon aemond,” jace says, sitting at the foot of his bed. “why did you break up with her? you seemed so happy.”

“if i agree to whatever you’re planning, will you leave me alone?” the two boys share a knowing look before nodding. “okay, then. now leave, i really need to finish this.”

aemond doesn’t move until aegon and jace leave his room. once he’s alone, he can properly breathe again.

it’s been like this since he told his family about the break up, when they asked why aemond simply turned around and left. his siblings and nephews have tried to get him to talk and open up, but are meet with silence.

aemond would never admit to his family the reason he broke up with you because they would never understand and they would make him talk to you, saying that you would never leave his side no matter what because you love him; as if aemond doesn’t know that already. he knows you deserve better than him. he knows you are too good for someone so broken and with so many issues in his life. and aemond loves you so much that he prefers to break up with you than to have you go through that.

he wishes he could just forget all about that awful day, but every time he closes his eyes he sees you crying in front of him and his heart aches for you.

he knows it will be like this for a while, but soon enough you will forget about him, you will stop loving him, and even if all he wants is to hold you in his arms, aemond would be happy if you find someone else, someone who deserves you.

aemond groans, resting his forehead on the desk and silently cursing aegon and jace. it’s impossible to go back to what he was doing, thoughts of you now clouding his mind.

the second aemond steps out of his brother’s car, he regrets his decision. he should have known what the plan was.

“did you know about this?” he asks his sister, who just pouts and joins the rest of the group.

a couple of months ago you take them to a new club, you said it was your favorite because they play latin music. however, it was the only time you all visit the place.

“relax, brother, she’s probably not even here.” aegon pats his back, whispering something about dancing.

the minute they step into the club, they are welcomed by the loud music playing, something called reggaeton that you made them listen before. and aemond actually likes it, he understands a few words– thanks to you.

“it’s going to be a fun night, please enjoy it.” helaena looks at her brother with her big blue eyes, batting her eyelashes as she pouts, something she used to do when they were kids and she wanted to make aemond smile. and it still works because aemond nods, a tired smile on his face.

and helaena was right. after jace bought drinks for everyone, aemond's head cleared a little, giving him the opportunity to enjoy his first night out after his break up.

he has never been one to dance, so while everyone was hitting the dance floor he stayed at the table, his second drink in hand and a lopsided smile on his face.

aemond can see everyone from where he's standing; his sister's weird and happy dances, aegon flirting with some random girl, jace and his girlfriend making out, and you.

his world stops the second he sees you, dancing really close to a man he has never seen before. your back is pressed to his chest, his arm around your waist as you move along with the music. aemond has seen you dance like that before. with him. both of you alone.

aemond wants to punch the man in the face and take you out of this place, but he knows he doesn't have any right, you are no longer together. despite that, he can't avoid feeling jealousy.

yes, it's been three weeks and you deserve someone better than him. but aemond didn't think it was going to be this fast, he really thought he'd get a little more time.

he does not take his eye away from you, even if he wants to. he doesn't know if you're drunk and would need help. he needs to make sure you are safe, even if it breaks his heart.

"aemond?" he can hear jace's voice but it's far away, all his attention is on you. jace frowns, following his gaze, and it's like a bucket of cold water. "oh shit!"

aemond would have told him to shut up, if it weren't for you.

he sees your next move with his heart about to be spilled on the floor. you turn around, throwing our arms around the man's shoulders and tilting your head backwards, your soft and beautiful hair mocking him, saying that he would never have the chance to run his fingers through it again.

but what really ends up sticking a dagger deeply into his chest is your laugh.

aemond can't take it anymore and without thinking he moves towards you. and maybe you hear jace's voice telling him to stop because you turn your head, and he sees the exact moment your smile vanishes. aemond has never felt so miserable before.

you don't even excuse yourself before running out of there. aemond doesn't hesitate to follow you, all rational thought disappearing.

when he makes it outside, you're pacing around, hands on your waist and mumbling something. he's afraid to getting close, you have all the rights to react that way. god, if you want to punch him he would gladly let you.

"how are you?" he doesn't know what to say, he just wants to hear you talk. but you don't say anything, you don't even look at him. "i'm sorry to show up like this. aegon wanted a night out and they dragged me here, if i had known you would be here–"

"you wouldn't have come?"

aemond hums and your hearts heals a little. however, being this close after everything that had happened it's not easy, but you have longed for this moment from the minute he walked out of your apartment.

"i'm sorry." aemond slowly lifts his head, looking at you defeated.

"for what? for breaking up with me, being here..." you say nonchalantly, your walls slowly coming down. “why are you here, aemond?” you say, already tired from this encounter.

“i told you–”

“no, why are you here?”

“we need to talk.” he states, suddenly feeling confident.

seeing you with that man was enough for him to realized that he’s not willing to lose you. he can be the man you deserve.

“you’re finally going to tell me why you broke up with me?”

aemond snorts, taking a step forward. “it’s– it’s not easy.”

you take the next step for him, and the next one, and the next, until you are just inches away. your hands cradle his face, forcing him to look you in the eyes.

“aemond, i love you. don’t push me away, please.” you don’t realize you’re crying until aemond wipes your tears with the back of his hand.

“maybe if we leave now, we can talk.” seeing his smile it’s comforting, but only his next words erase all the doubts you had. “i love you.”

[kooktrash]

OMGGG YES YES YES TO POWDER BLUE BIKINI DRABBLE!! Maybe in a rough yet intimate “I HAVE to have you right this second because if not I’ll die” quicky because they need to rush bc jieun should be coming home soon all for her to end up leaving soon after because she’s staying at Yoongi’s ?? So now they have all the time in the world🫠

GUYS MY AGE | dilf jeon jungkook drabble

literally just a little continuation and obv outside smut [unedited]

warnings: unprotected smüt. doggy. poolside sęx.

It was hot. It was so damn hot in this house and this entire city—country even! The worst part of the summer is the damn scorching Sun so yes, you will forever stay in a bikini because IT’S HOT.

“I thought you were gonna swim,” Jieun says as she sits next to your chair, “Instead you’re just sitting out here in this heat.”

“I’m trying to tan, if I can anyway,” you said with a shrug lowering your sunglasses, “And what else is there to do?”

“You can come with me and pick up Yoongi because that dumbass told me he didn’t need a ride after dropping his car off at the shop and now he does. That’s a 20 minute drive.” Jieun said with a hopeful smile but you just stared at her. “No.”

“Why!?” “Because I’m sweaty and in a bad mood!” You said jokingly and Jieun knew you were only being dramatic, “So leave me here to die of a heatstroke and go pick up your boyfriend.”

“Fine, you suck…bitch,” with that she smacked the side of your head making you whine as she left with a laugh. You turned back toward the glistening pool debating if you should just drown yourself in cold water. Jungkook had been busy all day, Namjoon was over to deal with some court case for this big company at the moment. Literally the most boring thing ever and to make things worse you’ve been sitting outside in this cute powder blue bikini that he couldn’t even properly enjoy the sight of because Jieun was home.

Don’t ask him where things stand between you and him because he does not know. You haven’t questioned him about your relationship so he assumes right now you two are just fine. That doesn’t mean he’s fine not being able to touch you whenever because he’s not. So the second Jieun came in complaining about the forty minutes drive and back it’d be to pick up Yoongi, Jungkook was already getting excited.

“Alright Namjoon, pack it up, I’ll work on this later.” “Huh?” “Yeah, safe drive.”

Jungkook had never ran to the backyard so fast in his life. You lay there with your eyes shut watching them Orange hues on your eyelids fade to dark making you open them. Jungkook stood over you making you smile, “Hi stranger.” He took a seat on the edge of your laying pool chair, “No one’s home.”

“Is that so?” You asked already sitting up for him to get close to. You wore a powder blue bikini now, small breast cups and very tiny shorts. The fabric was shimmery and the sides were tied together with flimsy strings that could easily come undone with his fingertips. Seeing you every morning lounging by his pool in his house, that he worked so hard for, sitting there looking pretty just does things to him. What’s he going to do when you and Jieun go back to school? You cleared your throat, taking your sunglasses off, “So what do you want to do with me now that we’re the only ones home? We have like thirty minutes.”

“Everything.” With that he pressed his lips against yours roughly, “I have to have you right now because if I don’t I think I’ll die.”

You giggled at that as he trailed his kisses down your neck, hands coming around your chest making you gasp. His fingers slid the small triangles of fabric off your tits, sliding them down the string to expose your nipples as he squeezed them between his fingers. Your body always reacted so quickly to his touch, so eager. He doesn’t think he’s felt this in a long time and your eagerness just makes him that much harder.

You let out a soft moan as Jungkook wrapped his arms around your lower back tightly so he could lift you and put you closer to the end of the chair while he was toward the back, “Ugh what are you going to do when I go? Are you gonna forget about me, Mr. Jeon.”

Goddamn you were so damn dirty. You never called him Mr. Jeon in front of Jieun, only when his mouth was devouring yours. Jungkook held in a breath as you began to grind your cunt against his lap. There was absolutely no concern of being seen outside at his poolside by his neighbors. All he’s thinking about is the way your bottoms worked as a very small barrier between your pushy and his shorts. You both were so eager, so ready to just get on with it—or get it on.

He licked his dry lips, “How can I forget if you send me all those pretty pictures of you?”

It’s been days since the first time and last time you slept together which happened to have all three rounds in one night. It would have been enough for him after three years but now he can’t stop thinking about you now. He came to seriously get annoyed whenever Jieun was home all day, did that make him a bad dad? That he didn’t want his 20 year old daughter home so he could fuck her best friend? And fuck you, he will.

“We haven’t done it like this yet,” you said in a sultry voice as you turned your back to him suddenly and laid down on your elbows and knees. Jungkook’s jaw slipped open at the sight of your rounded ass up for him, your spine arched and your shoulder blade protruding from the bend. Your hair was on one side of your head and you just presented yourself ready to be fucked from behind. Jungkook couldn’t help but to press his hips against yours despite still being fully dressed. He was just amazed by how he fit perfectly between your ass and you made sure to give a small wiggle making him groan.

Neither one of you had the patience to take things slow and with Jieun coming back soon with Yoongi nonetheless, you rushed through things more. Jungkook was nearly fully hard just at the sight of you and kissing so he pulled down the zipper of his pants, slipping them down with his briefs as he pulled his member out. He barely had time to look around and make sure no neighbor was by a window or anything as he pulled your bottoms to one side exposing your wet pussy. Jungkook guided his tip toward your entrance making sure to coat his head with your slick. You were already withering beneath him and he couldn’t stop the smirk on his face.

Just imagine everyone around him knowing he’s about to fuck one of the tightest pussies he’s ever had. You released an impatient sigh, “I thought you needed to have me now! I thought you would die if you weren’t in m—ngh.”

Your words caught in your throat as Jungkook pressed his cock into your folds making you try and relax your body to welcome the strength. Jungkook took pleasure in the way your back seemed to arch like a kitten’s at being touched. He pressed a hand down on your spine keeping you arched for him as his other hand was on your ass backing you into him. He gave you a breathy scoff at your submission, “Don’t raise your voice at me, baby, I don’t like that.”

You groaned in frustration and pleasure as he began to pull his cock out giving you a small thrust back in as you adjusted. Jungkook licked his lips at the sight below him and he couldn’t help but reach for your skid over bottoms, hooking a finger on it, lifting, and letting go. Your body jumped, pussy constricting around his length making him groan as he did it again. Once again you reacted the same, hands stretching out before you on the chair, “Mm, you’re so dirty Mr. Jeon.”

He released a low grunt as you began a steady pace of fucking back on his length and he brought his hands away to watch you fuck yourself using him so eagerly. He stood straighter, hands going to his hair to brush it back as you continued to shake your ass on his dick, soft little moans leaving your lips. He licked his lips as he looked down at the view, hand sneaking down your back to your hair, making only so your hips could move as he gave you a small tug. You forced yourself up as a hand came around your stomach and the other around your throat until your back was arched nearly touching his chest. He slid the hand on your stomach down to your pelvis, keeping you in place as he fucked you deeply, face in your neck as his other hand left your throat and traveled to your exposed tits. You smiled at the way he groped your body while fucking you so dirty, “Look at you, you can’t even control yourself.”

“It’s all because of you,” he growled into your throat, sucking on your neck, marking you, “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

You smiled, hand going over the one he had on your breasts forcing his fingers to grope more roughly, “Fuck, you feel so good.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he lifted your hips enough to grind you down on his member, “So you gonna cum? Jieun could get here any second.”

And you were so close. So close that when he pressed his finger against your folds, finding your clit and softly running over it, your thighs shook. And he enjoyed every second of the way your body was always so quick to react to him that he wasn’t even surprised when you released a loud whine as you came. Jungkook’s lips parted in a low groan at the way your pussy flooded his member with release and though he tried holding you through it, you pushed away from him. Jungkook’s hands tried adjusting your bathing suit back into a soft caress as you tried tearing yourself away from him. Jungkook let you go watching you turn, making him go to kiss you when you dropped down onto your stomach, hand coming around his cock and placing your lips around it.

The action alone was enough to make Jungkook drop down onto his hinds, mouth opening in a low moan as he came down your throat, watching you lick up his and your release at once.

In his back pocket, a buzz was felt and as he reached for his phone feeling you lick him clean, he checked the notification.

jieun: we’re getting dinner and going back to his place. pls let y/n know :)

He couldn’t help the small chuckle that left his lips as you finally got up, tucking him back into his jeans and just like that, his hand was holding your chin bringing your lips to his own, “We have all night now. So wash up for dinner, then we’ll see how the night goes.”

You smiled kissing him softly, “Yes, Mr. Jeon, but I’m going to need help getting clean.”

“So needy.”

“But you love it.”

“‘Maybe.” He likes feeling wanted.

::.

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[hearta54]

Studio With Dom (reader x Dominic Fike spicy fluff)

Summary: You and Dom are both musicians, you guys hit the studio to record a track together and Dom can't keep his hands off you...

Word Count: 629

Notes: This was hella fun send request and pls repost.

You woke to Dom nuzzling his cheek into the crook of your neck you loved the way his dark brown curls caressed your skin like that's what they were crafted for and his morning stubble -which he always shaved, you sometimes wondered what he'd look like with a beard - grazed you.

"Good morning beautiful," Dom whispered staring into your eyes his incessant need was perfectly visible in those big brown eyes.

Any tiredness you were clinging onto was forgotten as Dom kissed you softly at first, growing hungrier as his hands roamed over your waist slowly creeping under your blush pink shirt, he whispered sweetly dirty things into your ear, kissing your neck and sucking on that spot that made you clench. Truth be told you could stay here all day with him forever letting your limbs get tangled until you weren't sure which belonged to you and which to Dom.

"Dom..." You gasped his name.

"Y/N?"

"We should get up," you had a day to seize together and a world beyond the four posts of the bed you both shared.

You went to climb out of bed when Dom stopped you.

"Baby where do you think your going?" He said smiling sweetly wearing a questioning look on his face.

You were left wondering what he had planned as he walked out the room gloriously shirtless, Calvin Klein boxers slung low on his hips.

There was a twenty minute Domless interlude before he trailed back with two steaming egg benedicts he chuckled at your glee. He knew how much you loved egg benedict, egg anything really (Y/N is so real for this)

Dom watched you eat slowly, he had finished his breakfast minutes ago.

"Y/N, finish up pretty, we have to hit the studio."

Your stomach twirled not just because Dom was watching you intently giving you raging butterflies but also because today was your first time recording music with Dom, you wanted it to be perfect.

...

In Dom's Porsche he caressed your upper thigh mindlessly as he kept his eyes on the road heading to his favourite studio in downtown L.A. His touch made the nerves you had felt wither and you could finally breathe evenly again.

...

You admired Dom as he laid down the hook of your song the way he confidently mixed the vocals and recorded the guitar riffs making an effortless melody. It had taken you much longer to record the piano piece even though you'd been practicing it for days. Your eyes were also glued to him because you loved the way he looked in baggy black jeans and fitted white tee with a red Clayborne symbol on the back.

You turned back to your notes app formulating the lyrics of your verse.

"Baby, what you got there?" Dom walked behind the chair you had cocooned yourself in enveloping his arms around you and placing his head on yours.

Your notes read:

If I don't belong to you

Something's gone wrong

I'll always find you

No matter what planet I'm on...

"Y/n, this is great, lets record this right now," Dom was shouting dragging you to the booth.

You sang everything so smoothly with a slight falsetto at the end. When you were done Dom was jumping up and down elated.

Now in front of Dom you said, "How was that?"

Dom grasped your face pulling you towards him and in a dizzying maneuver pinned you against the wall. His tongue laced with yours and held your waist so firmly it bruised.

Suddenly you were on the couch and Dom's hands were lowering into your flare pants and kissed down your stomach...

"Amazing, it was amazing," he whispered in a raspy tone and he stuffed your panties in his pocket

...

THE END

[variousqueerthings]

so the thing is, back when i first watched s3 of elementary i was not a fan of joan coming to this moment of "oh maybe i should break up with my stable, attractive, nice, charming boyfriend" only for him to immediately die, because it felt like a cop-out -- that she'd almost come to some kind of moment in figuring herself out, but now she'd be regressing into "oh well, i can't have romantic relationships because it's dangerous, not because i don't want them," there will forever be a tinge of something in her relationship with andrew now, even though she was literally in the process of breaking up with him because it wasn't doing anything for her. a certain rose tint over what was actually happening, which was that she wasn't into the idea of the relationship, or indeed, any romantic relationship

however this time around i'm more into it, because this time i'm suuuuch a fan of the continuous push and pull of introspection and refusal to introspect that exist in both sherlock and joan -- getting the emotional truth out of either of them is like pulling fucking teeth!

the fact that the "aftermath episode" of her bf getting murdered in which joan is steadfastly refusing to Feel Her Feelings is the same episode as the sherlock-and-marcus excursion, in which marcus bell is telling sherlock over and over "call me marcus" and sherlock's grimace makes it clear that too much vulnerability feels like getting stabbed, something he's only allowed five times it seems:

two are with people who are locked up (jamie and abigail, although the latter has some serious extenuating circumstances)

one is dead (alistair, and even then i feel like alistair never knew how much he meant to sherlock)

one is on the run from the law atm (kitty, although i know she works that out)

and joan

(and arguably mycroft, but that's slightly different, they're siblings, being a sibling is smthinsmthin)

and even with them -- with the exception of joan and previously jamie -- he is oh so very careful about how much of himself he shows

it's such a fascinating double-up episode exploring their attitudes towards relationships (the fact that jamie makes a form of appearance and it's via writing a letter to joan!!!!) (also ofc sherlock calls him marcus by the end)

and now back to joan, who is ostensibly much more "adjusted" to living a conventional life, after all she's prepped for conventional since she was a kid! except she really isn't, is she? she's canonically trying to fulfill some assumed goal of normalcy (stated to be expected of her by her mother/upbringing), and she's fighting against it every step of the way. she doesn't do close friendships really (she tried, and she sucked at it until she started meeting people more like sherlock, and then it's a little closer to the way he does "friendships" that is, we create a wide network of people, but we don't have to know that much about each other beyond what we need to support one another), and she certainly doesn't do romance (or, she tries for a bit, but fails over and over) and the entire time she's insistently going "sherlock you need support to figure yourself out, you need some help to stay sober, if you want to talk..."

her whole Thing is that she's very polite and charming, so of course she's not like her standoffish abrasive partner, sherlock, she's the "Nomal One" who's so well-adjusted, except when this life forces her to make decisions beyond her control

and now going "well, i'm dangerous to get close to, so i may as well not try anymore" is another wonderful way to avoid thinking about what she wants. she doesn't have any choices you see, it's simply the way things have to be (oh noooo). anyway this interaction suddenly happens halfway through the episode:

joan: you know i pulled away from you last year because uh… i felt myself sucked into this world that you built. i wanted something normal. something that was mine. sherlock: there's nothing wrong with that. you have a right to your own space, physically and mentally joan: im not sure that i do. i don't think i can keep our work and my private life separate. it just doesn't seem possible. but you already know that, i mean it's part of the reason you life the way that you do sherlock: yes but my choices dont have to be your choices watson joan: it might be better if they were. andrew would have been better off

see, andrew would have been better off, that's what the problem was, suuuuuuure. girl you were in the middle of dumping him when he was murdered, stop avoiding the real issue here! you shouldn't not-be-dating because of The Work, you should be not dating because you... don't want to. you've got to admit that you like the world you were getting sucked into. do it!

(once she's made the change to wearing suits, we know she's started to sort herself out, it's coming, she'll get there)

end of the episode:

joan: i feel... ok. i feel clear about something: our work, what we do... it's not just a job now, it's who i am. i'm a detective, i'm ready to embrace that. i live in this world - your world - and i probably will for the rest of my life sherlock: it isn't my world. it's our world joan: i understand that now. i accept it, i know what it means sherlock: and what does it mean? joan: it means that... it's ridiculous for me to think that... i can have a normal life. i'm not gonna do that anymore.

joan i want to study you like a bug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(but also, youknow, if it's getting her there, then let her think it's the detective work enacting upon her life like an unstoppable force that she must stop fighting and accept the inevitability of. youknow. that's an aromantic way of looking at things too. can't do romance, oh so unfortunate, but The Work!!!!!!!!!)

[scrubbinn]

_____ HRT: 15 months: “Human”

“Hey Mayday. How's my girlfriend doing today?... I hope you can hear me in there. I'm recording another tape for you in case you forget everything again. I just got back from the doctor, they ran some tests, still couldn't figure out what's up with my knee. I think maybe I'm just cursed, with this broken human body. I guess you don't have to deal with that now huh? Lucky.”

“It just sucks, you know? Not a single medical doctor in Canada can tell me what's wrong and then when suddenly, magic exists, it gets regulated so you can't use it for medicine! Ugh. Rules are dumb, why do we even have them. Also sucks that I have to walk here every time I miss you. Which is a lot. Why does everything have to be so shit?”

“Speaking of shit, you should have heard me go off on that doc when you first started… cocooning? I’m blanking on the word. But I just went off on that man, It felt so good just to throw everything back in that pompous jerk's face! He had it coming, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to go off on a medical professional. He does have his uses, I suppose. You weirdly seem to like him, and at least he can put in enough effort to care about your physical health. But you should have seen how he reacted to you, he makes me so, so, so, AAAAARG! Sorry, you don't like yelling right?”

“You know, when I heard about you passing out nearly half a year ago, I thought, this is it, I'm going to lose her forever. I guess I did, when she decided to forget me. That's not fair, I just, I can't help still being mad about it. After everything we went through, and everything you went through with our friends and family. This really meant more than all of those memories put together? God you're such a dummy. I wish I could understand you.”

“Getting to meet you all over again, I didn't hate it like I thought I would. No matter the memories, it really was still you. Just, a little different. Sorry I kept pushing you to remember something… Maybe it was wrong of me. But every time I saw your face, your eyes looked back like they were trying to remember anything. It made me kind of happy, like I was important enough that some small part of you didn’t want to let go of me. I thought we were making progress. But if we have to do it again when you come out. I might actually start to hate it.”

“...Hey, you are happy right? This is what you wanted, yeah? You know I'm ok with you not being human. When you told me you were thinking about this, I supported it. Though, I'm still having trouble getting used to it. I don't really know how to feel now that you're like this. I just, I want what makes you happy, and I know you want the same for me. It's just been difficult right now. To keep smiling. I… I went to that sushi place we were going to go to. They had really good unagi. I ate so much I could barely afford the bill, haha. I know if I go there again without you, it's just going to taste like nothing. If you're not there with me, what's the point? This moment. The world has color again, I can taste things again when I'm in this room, and it hurts so much because you're not here. I'm sorry I… I'm trying not to cry in front of you hun. I'm sorry.”

* * *

“You don't mind if I stay here tonight do you hun? I don't really feel like walking back home right now. When I’m with you I- um, hello?”

“Oh didn’t realize anyone else was here? You’re Abigail right?”

“And your May’s mom right?” Are you here to see her?”

“Yes, I haven’t actually checked in since I heard the news. Is that. Her?”

“Pretty sure yeah. Unless there’s another girlfriend shaped cocoon that I missed. D- Do you need a tissue?”

“No, I’ll be fine, thank you… Pardon, but would you be able to answer a question? I don’t really understand this whole therian thing. I’m still a little shocked when Mich- Mayday said she was doing this sort of thing in the first place. I’m fine with it, I support her. But, did she need to do this?”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“Well I mean, did she need to change? Isn’t it just safer to hide? She’s doing such a brave thing but there are so many people that might hurt her. It's my job to worry about her, and I know this city is better and all with this sort of thing, but what if she gets attacked when she visits, what am I supposed to tell my sister if she asks what Mayday is up to. My family doesn't even know her name is Mayday now.”

“...Oh. Oh, this is weird seeing it from an outsider perspective.”

“I'm sorry? What do you mean?”

“It's that you don't get it, I mean I forgot it until now, but you don't understand. It would have been more dangerous if she didn't do this. She's in pain, her gender, Her body, her species. They don't match her brain. It's not like it's a choice either. She's hurting. Her staying human, she might have made worse choices. Ugh, I'm sorry hun. I should have realized how much this means to you, I'll be here, for real this time. I'll be here for y…

Oh my god, it's tearing. G-g-go! Get a doctor!”

“What? Oh! Uh, right!”

“Hun! Can you hear me? It's me! Follow my voice!”

“A…b…i…

Mimic HRT: 15 months: “no longer”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[jaylaxies]

AKSHZISNSKAZMNZKZSPWKWOQUQ

so like idol!hee and idol!yn.

he has been very booked and busy for the past weeks because their cb is gonna be smthn engenes have never seen before + it was following another world tour so it was pretty self explanatory that u two spent a lot of time apart. one day tho u decided to pay him a surprise visit. no special occasions in particular — just missing him dearly:( he does too ofc <3 you were wearing a cute pink skirt he bought for you and a white off-shoulder croptop. you peeped inside the dance studio to see heeseung practicing the choreography by himself. you watched him as his body moves to the beat of the music. oh how that body can do so many miracles. it stayed like that for a while until your eyes locked in the view of the mirror. he turned his head swiftly and as you responded "surprise!" only then did he confirm it was really you. you entered the studio carefully, trying not to make any loud noises while closing the door behind you as hee sprinted towards you and lifted you up from the ground while hugging you tightly. "i missed you so much oh my fucking god..." he cried with his face buried in your chest. you tried hugging him back but your arms were pinned to your sides by his hug so you pat his hips instead. "i missed you more" he chuckles at the response. he finally puts you down after what felt like forever being up in the air. "im really sorry for neglecting you these past few days..." he held your hand before planting a soft kiss while maintaining eye contact. you caressed his cheek with his free hand and softened your gaze "its okay! really, your career should always come second in your priority. first is family, yeah?" he whines. "why are you so understanding you're making me feel bad~" he pulls you into another hug while burying his face in your neck. you laughed as you were finally able to hug him back. "what? do you want to fist fight? we can do that too!" you asked teasingly. you shared a laugh and stayed hugging for a little longer before heeseung decided to start kissing your neck. "h-hee? what are you doing?" you snickered at the ticklish sensation. "i missed you so much~" he started biting and sucking alternatively. you groaned as you bit your lip, suppressing any noise coming out for the boys and the staff to hear. "let's go the recording studio, it's sound proof there" he whispered in your ear. his voice was full of lust and desperation, it sent shivers to your spine but you would be lying if you said it didn't turn you on. you gave a small nod in response and just like that, he lifted you up, hands on your ass for support ad he carried you to the recording studio and boy were you glad it was soundproof.

this is your fault aria /lh

ily <3

heeseung fucking you in the recording studio just makes sense because of course that guy is gonna make you moan, not to mention how deeply he groans whenever he pushes his thick cock deep inside your tight cunt. yet, you have to be careful cause what if someone comes in? does heeseung care thought? no. he can only focus on how you’re in his arms and how his cock feels like it’s in heaven whenever he thrusts inside your warm pussy. that’s not all, he doesn’t settle for one round, he wants multiple simply because he’s missed you so fucking much. but the question is that—how are you gonna get out of the studio with your cunt leaking full of his cum without anyone noticing?

[comicallybadwriter]

“You don’t need to talk.” Aziraphale started, making an obvious choice to keep his hands to himself, even though reaching out to comfort the demon was all he wanted in that moment. Crowley had to chide himself for thinking it was what he wanted as well. “But I need to apologise, for everything I’ve done to you Crowley, everything I’ve put you through and all I’ve kept from you.”

Crowley swallowed thickly, still refusing to look the angel in the eye. He was staring out the window, watching as Nina’s shop took customers in various numbers. A couple of humans were sitting in their designated spots. It made the demons heart stutter.

“I-” The angels voice faltered, then came back after a second of breathing- “I’m sorry for leaving you Crowley, and for not explaining why. I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to be an angel again, I just- I remember you so vividly with that beautiful bright smile and those stunning white wings, and I got excited.” Aziraphale had started fiddling, not that it was uncommon for him to do that, but it was always a weak point with Crowley’s ability to stay mad. “I wanted to be able to change Heaven so bad, to be fit for you, and safe for the world. For humanity. I wanted- I still do really, to be able to say we were on the same side, and Heaven not be able to do a damned thing.”

That got Crowley’s attention, “You can’t just-!” His eyes went wide in search of something to say, but Aziraphale shushed him again, “I said far worse things upstairs before I got back, let me finish.” The angel shifted on the bed, and sucked in a breath, “You had done nothing to be forgiven for… after you- we, I mean that is-”

“I get it, Aziraphale.”

“Yes, well,” He cleared his throat, face warming up at the memory. “I shouldn’t have… it shouldn’t have happened like that. There was just something nagging me in the back of my head, shouting over and over again, that it wasn’t- that I had to leave. That there were far more important things to do in that moment in time.” Once the words had left his mouth, Aziraphale realised how it sounded, “That isn’t to say I’m making excuses! I merely mean, I’d never felt like that before, my head was… fuzzy. And after what the Metatron had offered me, and oh- I was so excited to tell you- to change the whole thing. To let you know that I would be there for you at the drop of a dime But I-"

Silence filled the room until Aziraphale spoke again, desperately hoping that he’d get Crowley to speak to him again, to say anything to him, scream shout. Not just one worded answers. “So I- I well, I came back down when I heard you were… well it doesn’t matter does it. I came back down, and I don’t regret a thing.”

Finally, Crowley grumbled something incoherent, and Aziraphale perked up. “Pardon, dear?”

“I said, it does matter.” Crowley stood up from the bed, then reached out to nothing in particular, before dropping his hand again. “It should matter. I should matter Aziraphale! But you-!” His voice broke for a moment, before the demon took an unsteady breath in- “You chose them. When it mattered.”

It wasn’t supposed to go like this, Crowley knew that, but he couldn’t help it. He was tired, he was scared, and he was angry. He wanted to go back to before, when they could get drunk in the bookshop downstairs without visitors, and Crowley could snap his fingers, so the record player was making beautiful music that seemed to always entice the angel to hum along no matter how intoxicated. He wanted to go back.

“I was the one breaking into the shop when it was burning to the ground, terrified you had been taken from me forever, and who drove through literal fire and flames to get to you when I found out you were okay! I was the one who went up to Heaven. I was the one Gabriel told to walk into Hellfire, and I was the one who had him look at me- who he thought was you- and tell me to shut up and die. Me not them!” Crowley felt tears slipping down his face as he waved his hand upwards towards Heaven. “I went up and found out what was wrong with Gabriel! Told that anyone involved would be erased with the book of life! Me! Me! No one else!” Crowley felt like he was losing his grip on reality, jumping around with every shouting word he let out. His hair flailing at his shoulders as he sniffed and wiped his face.

“And I-” he took another breath in, though it did nothing but indicate how he was shaking- “I was the one who stood beside you when push came to shove. I believed in you.”

The anger collapsed alongside the demon, and he fell back on the bed, a right sobbing mess. If Aziraphale wasn’t the issue there, then Crowley would have sunk into the angels arms and appreciated the hug, but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

“Crowley I-” shouldn’t have left you alone to carry so much- “I-” loved you so much it hurt to be near- “I- I can’t possibly find the words to apologise. If it meant I had to stand on my hands for the next century and do our apology dance upside down, I’d do it for you. I need you to know how sorry I am.”

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 43 ~ The Honeymoon Phase

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 4

✧ Word Count : 4k

In this chapter ~ After spending a blissful night in the small cabin, officially signifying their love for each other, Daryl and Rose ultimately head back to the prison to share the news with the people they loved dearly. But that’s not all as Daryl seems to surprise her with one last thing.

The sun shining directly on my face is what rudely woke me up from the deep slumber I was embedded in, scrunching my face up in annoyance as it shone brightly over my eyes. A groan escaped my lips as I slowly peeled my eyes open to glance around the room, nearly shooting out of bed the second I didn't recognize my surroundings. But then I felt a pair of strong arms tighten around my waist and a certain feeling on my ring finger, the memories then flooding back in.

A smile stretched across my face at the events of yesterday still replaying freshly in my mind, but it slowly dropped at the thought of having to head back today. A selfish part of me never wanted this to end, just to stay out here for as long as we wanted, letting them think we went missing for however long. It didn't matter to me. I was happy.

I could hear Daryl's heavy breathing from behind me and I closed my eyes again in content, beginning to run my fingers up and down his arm, tracing soft patterns against his skin. My body instantly moved back closer to him, craving the warmth he provided as the cold air around the cabin began to hit my slightly exposed arms. I silently wished I could stay in this moment forever. But then it hit me that the memory wouldn't be as special in the end, so I decided to savor every moment instead.

Only a few minutes of silence passed, before I slowly felt the man behind me adjust his position as he woke, moving his mouth down to trail kisses over my neck.

"Goodmornin, Mrs. Dixon." he spoke sweetly, his voice thick and gravely. One of my favorite sounds in the entire world.

I hummed with a small smile, "Goodmorning, Mr. Dixon." I breathed, bringing his hand up to my lips, kissing the back of it.

He sighed happily and began kissing softly down my neck and towards my shoulder, leaving goosebumps on my skin at the ticklish feeling. I could feel him smirk as he kept going, slowly turning me around to face him, giving me a view of his gorgeous blue eyes.

He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose, "I know we ain't ever talked about you takin my name, but I think Rose Dixon has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?" he asked.

"I would be honored." I said instantly, "I like the sound of it too."

"Good." he said with a warm smile as he brought his lips down and captured mine in a kiss. I laughed softly against his lips as I kissed him back with a little more force, but then my mind seemed to wander, causing me to pull away with a groan as I flopped back down on the mattress.

He chuckled lightly, "What's wrong?"

"The thought of having to go back today is physically hurting me. I want to stay out here forever..." I said dramatically, hearing him laugh in response with a shake of his head.

"We don't gotta leave right now. Rick knows." he said.

I pulled back a little, "Rick knows?"

"Well, I kinda had to tell someone why we wouldn't be back till the next day." he said obviously.

I laughed lightly, "Yeah, good point."

"So...we can head back whenever we want." he said suggestively, moving back down to my neck and sucking lightly on my skin.

I pressed my lips together at the feeling, muffling any sounds I let out as I felt his hand gently grip my waist, "Was three times last night not good enough for you?" I teased.

"Better make it four. Just ta even it out, ya know?"

"Well, if you insist." I laughed, sitting up quickly to staddle him before attacking his lips once more.

After a few long hours passed, trying to savor up every moment we could, we were now slowly getting dressed to head back to the others. Well, I should say I was slowly getting dressed. Daryl was still lazily lying in bed, his eyes watching me carefully. Though I didn't mind at all, I even wiggled my hips a little more than usual when I was sliding my pants back on to give him more of a show.

After throwing my shirt back on over my head, I glanced back over my shoulder at him, giving him a questioning look to tell me what was on his mind. His eyes were still drooped sleepily, his hair disheveled and his head resting in one of his hands with a crooked grin plastered on his face. The sight of him was perfect, making it even harder for me to want to leave.

He shook his head lightly with a small breath, "Just...can't believe yer my wife."

I smiled warmly before walking over to his side of the bed, "Believe it baby, I'm yours." I promised, leaning in to kiss him once again.

The second I pulled away, he groaned at the loss of contact, "You dunno what ya do to me woman."

"Hm, I think I have a pretty good idea," I smirked before slowly picking up a pillow in my grasp, "Now get your lazy ass up we have to get back before they think we're dead." I said while hitting him a few times.

He laughed as his hands reached up to stop my movements, "Alright, alright! Just gimmie a second."

I nodded and kissed his forehead, turning to leave the room and explore more of the small cabin as I waited. The rest of the place was pretty trashed, but it's safe to say neither one of us minded too much as all we could really focus on last night was each other. My eyes scanned around the living room, noticing the smashed in TV and the newspapers that were sprawled out everywhere on the ground. It was hard to tell if this happened before or after the end of the world, though either way, it was still sad to think about how this was once someone's home.

I then found myself wandering into the smaller kitchen, seeing old and worn pictures hanging up on the fridge. Squinting to get a better look, I saw it was a small smiley family with a few pets surrounding them as they attempted to pose for a picture, tugging at my heartstrings the more I stared. I hoped that they were still alive and together, but knowing the cruel world we lived in, who knows what happened to them.

I moved on quickly after seeing that, stopping in my tracks when I saw a box full of jars filled with some kind of clear liquid sitting on the table. Curiosity got the better of me as I picked one up hesitantly, opening the lid and holding it under my nose to smell it. Cringing instantly as the smell hit my senses, I immediately tightened the lid back on and placed it back as I nearly gagged at how foul it was.

"Yep, that's liquor." I said to myself and scrunched my face up.

Daryl's heavy footsteps came out of the room only seconds after that, spotting me in the kitchen and laughing lightly at the look still plastered on my face, "You okay?"

"I think it's moonshine," I said as I gestured down to the box, "And it smells...loud." I smirked.

He cracked a smile and lifted his crossbow to place on his back, "Moonshine? Yeah, the stuff tastes even worse." he said before pausing for a moment, "Ya ready?" he asked, and I could hear in his voice he was just as disappointed to leave as I was.

I frowned, "Yeah, I guess." I muttered, placing my own weapons around my shoulders, "But hey, we can always come back here if we ever need another escape." I winked.

He smirked, "I'll hold you to that."

My hand stuck out towards him as I lingered by the door, wiggling my fingers until he finally placed his hand in mine. Some of the walk back home was spent in comfortable silence, while the other part was filled with random chatter as we lightly swung our intertwined hands. He began to ask how things were while he was gone, and I filled him in on the basics of what's been happening around the prison.

But to be honest there wasn't a whole lot to tell. Everything had been running pretty smoothly as the new people settled in, everyone doing their parts and contributing equally. Through there was this little shit named Jeff, but don't even get me started on that guy.

"I think m' gonna stop." he stated suddenly.

My brows furrowed as I looked up at him in confusion, "Stop what?"

"Stop lookin for The Governor. I'll let Michonne keep goin if that's what she wants, but I think m' done." he confirmed.

"Oh? What changed your mind?" I asked.

He just stared at me for a few seconds and then a small smile was brought to his face, "You." he said simply, "I miss ya darlin, and I don't wanna keep goin out there to chase a guy that isn't even there anymore."

My heart began to warm as his answer seemed so simple, yet so sincere. "That's very sweet...but you don't have to stop just for me."

"I do. I want to. It ain't worth it no more...not when yer my top priority." he said, taking my hand up to kiss it lightly as we kept moving.

I smiled stupidly as I hugged onto his arm a little bit tighter, not arguing with him further because in all honesty I wanted him to stay. I had wanted that since the beginning, but I never said anything of course because I didn't want to be the one thing standing in his way. Though now that he's said he doesn't want to anymore, I couldn't be more relieved. Having him back home instead of constantly worrying about him when he was on the road, a weight was lifted off my shoulders at just the thought.

The prison began to come into view a few moments later, feeling the nervousness in my stomach for when I would see everyone. I grew excited, wanting them to know the second I walked through the gates. I didn't know how any of them would react, but seeing the looks on their faces would be something I hoped I remembered forever.

But one thing was for certain is that Maggie would most definitely have a stroke when she found out the news. Obviously, being a woman in love, she became obsessed with talking about marriage and rings with all the women in the community. So, I knew she would sniff it out like a goddamn blood hound almost instantly.

The person on guard opened up the gates the second he recognized us, sending us a small wave as we passed, leaving us walking up towards the large building in somewhat of an anticipation. But we didn't go unnoticed for very long as Glenn seemed to spot us almost immediately. I didn't know how the hell the timing lined up so perfectly, but he was now making a beeline over to the two of us the second he caught my eye.

"Uh hey. Where the hell have you been?" he asked me with worry and confusion lacing his voice, "I've been looking for you everywhere."

My mouth opened as I attempted to find the words, but my mind suddenly went blank. Where the hell do I even start? I eventually just settled with silently sticking my left hand out to him, watching as he glanced down in utter confusion. It took him a hot second, but the second he processed everything, he closed the space between us instantly, lifting me off the ground as he pulled me into a tight hug. I couldn't help but smile as I held onto him tightly, hearing him laugh in complete disbelief as he slowly wrapped his head around all of it. Hell, I was still trying to wrap my head around all of it. 

He then gently set me down after a few short moments, clearly at a loss for words. "Oh my God this is crazy, congrats you guys." he said and made his way over to Daryl to give him a handshake which he gladly took.

"Thanks Glenn." I said gratefully, watching Daryl smile quietly in appreciation as he placed a hand on the man's shoulder.

But the whole thing seemed to create some kind of domino affect. Maggie and Beth rushed over only seconds later after they saw us in a small circle, the same worried expressions on their faces until they spotted the ring on my hand in a split second. It's almost like I predicted it or something. They both squealed as they pulled me into a group hug, leaving me laughing at their reactions as I hugged them back tightly. They both congratulated me more times than I could even count, their happiness for me nearly bringing a few tears to my eyes.

I lifted my head back up after a moment or two, seeing Hershel make his way over to see what was going on and gently pulled away from the two girls. They both quickly seemed to rush over towards Daryl after I let them go, congratulating him too whilst I made my way over toward the old man. Though before I could even get a word in, he instantly grabbed my hand and brought it up close to his face, examining the ring without saying a thing.

My eyes widened, "How did you-"

"Rick can't keep his mouth shut sometimes, I thought you knew that by now." he said, now looking back up at me.

I just laughed with a shake of my head, "I should've known." I joked.

He smiled and pulled me in for a tight hug, "Congratulations sweetheart." he whispered.

"Thank you." I whispered back, staying put like that for a moment almost as if he was scared to let me go.

Though we managed to break apart when I felt another hand on my shoulder, looking to see Rick standing there with that same knowing smile on his face. I should've known that man knew out of everybody, I just hadn't been able to connect the dots. Although, it shocked me a little to see him so happy.

He didn't waste a seconds before wrapping me in a tight hug, "I'm happy for you, Rosie." he whispered as he squeezed me tighter.

I smiled to myself at the nickname, whispering a small thank you before pulling away and looking to see the many more people very aware of our presence now. I gave a hug to Michonne who just had a small smirk on her face the whole time, telling me she probably knew about it too. I then hugged Carol as well who was just overjoyed for the both of us. It warmed my heart.

Carl was just as happy as she was, if not more, and informed me he wanted to walk me down the aisle if we ever had a real wedding. I couldn't help but smile brightly at his idea, how quickly he was willing to jump to that. Though I had to inform him that it probably wouldn't happen, but he would be my very first choice if it did, and he was more than excited to hear that. 

A lot of excited chatter filled the air, all of them wanting to hear every last detail about how it happened. Though after a little while, I could see Daryl slowly starting to get uncomfortable with all the attention pinned on him, not liking to be in the center of it. So I took it upon myself to break away from them after a few minutes, heading towards the garages with Daryl so we had a chance to decompress after everything that went down the past couple days. That, and I knew he secretly wanted to work on his bike for a bit. 

It was peaceful in the space with no one else around, watching him work as I passed him certain tools every once and a while. The silence was filled with, nice soft music playing from a small cassette player that someone found on a run recently. I didn't know what song it was, nor did I care. It was nice. Everything that happened leading up to this leaving me extremely happy.

I nodded my head along to the melody as my eyes continued to watch him work, biting my lip subconsciously. His arms flexed every once and a while when he fought with the interior, curses falling under his breath as he grew slightly frustrated. But I just sat back and watched in content, seeing this was the best honeymoon I could ever receive.

"Hey Rosie, can ya get me that small wrench from over there?" he asked, breaking the silence.

My thoughts stopped momentarily as I nodded, pretending like I wasn't just envisioning him naked as I got up from my place to head towards his metal toolbox. I searched through the many he had collected over the past few months, maneuvering them around to find what he was looking for.

I began to hum silently to myself, swaying my hips a little to the beat of the song that filled the air as I finally got my hands on the small wrench he had requested. But when I turned around to walk back, he had gotten up and was standing much closer to me than I expected, smirking down at me as he tilted his head.

"Ya like this song?" he asked smugly.

I then realized what I had been doing and I felt my cheeks heat up, my only response being a pointed look. He chuckled before stepping closer to me and took my hand, which made me grow a little confused. But then to my surprise, he twirled me around once before bringing me into a sloppy dip in his arms, causing me to laugh in delight. Though it ended just as quickly as it started, feeling him set me back down on my two feet as he attempted to reach around me to grab the tool that sat on the table.

I frowned at that and held out my hand again, "Dance with me." I said softly.

"Nah," he said quickly, "I don't dance."

I scoffed quietly, "Oh come on. Just this once, please? You can't just start something like that and not finish."

He chuckled to himself, "I've heard that one before."

I rolled my eyes at his attempted joke, gesturing with my hand for him to only come closer. He sighed to himself and stood there for a moment, having a little internal debate in his head. But once he met my eyes, I knew I got him, slowly taking my hand in his as he hesitantly brought me closer. He seemed a lot more nervous than I ever would've expected him to be.

"I...I don't know how." he confessed quietly.

My eyes softened, "It's okay," I reassured, "I'll teach you."

I watched as he bit his lip anxiously, letting out a breath before giving me a small nod to continue. I took both of his hands and placed them on my waist, while mine went up and rested onto his shoulders. We swayed softly to the music while moving in a small circle, slowly spinning around.

"See? You're dancing." I said sweetly, meeting his eyes.

He scoffed, "Ain't really the real thing."

"Baby steps." I shrugged. I then took one of his hands off my waist and held it slightly above my head, "Now just spin me around."

I scanned his eyes and almost laughed a little to myself. The man who feared nothing, who would laugh in the face of death himself, was genuinely scared to dance. He kept swallowing thickly and his hands started to shake a little, but he was still trying. His hand slowly spun me around, as if he was nervous he would somehow do it wrong, before I faced him once again. But once I moved closer to place my hands back on his shoulders, he stepped a little too far and right on my foot.

He felt me flinch and suddenly panicked, "Ah shit, m' so sorry. Are ya okay?" he asked placing his hands on the side of my face.

This time I did allow myself to laugh, placing my hands on top of his, "Yes love, I'm fine. You're worrying too much, it's okay." I assured.

He shook his head and muttered something under his breath that I didn't quite catch, but pulled me back into him again. We continued to sway together as the lyrics sang beautifully in the air. I continued to show him little things to do to switch it up a little bit, and well...let's say I'm definitely going to have a few bruises on my feet afterwards. He kept cursing every time he stepped on my feet and at one point almost walked away embarrassed that he continued to do so. But I just pulled him back and gave him the reassurance that he needed.

"Ya might need a new dance partner." he muttered at one point.

My brows furrowed, "Psh, no way. Who else would make me laugh this much while trying to learn how to dance for me?" I asked.

He couldn't seem to come up with a good enough answer, so he just nodded with a small smile. Eventually one of the songs was coming to an end and I was going to tell him we could stop, but again, he took me by surprise. He spun me slowly once more, trying not to step on me again in the process, and then dipped me back with his arms secured around me. I smiled up at him in surprise and kissed the tip of his nose, before he let me stand back up straight.

Though as he steadied me, somehow, I don't know how, he stepped on me once more and I jumped back a little again, "Ouch." I whispered.

He groaned, "Godamnit m' sorry, are ya-"

"Yes, I'm okay." I said with a small laugh, reaching out to brush the hair out of his face, "Thank you for dancing with me, honey. You actually did really well."

He scoffed, "Stepped on yer feet one too many times, don't think I did that well."

"It takes practice," I assured as my hands lingered on the sides of his face, "But seriously...thank you."

He nodded as he started to run his hands up and down my arms and looked down at me shyly, "Ya happy?" he asked.

"Very." I confirmed with a genuine smile.

He nodded before going back to his bike while I grabbed the wrench he needed, handing it over to him as I followed. We then talked quietly to each other for a while until I got the idea to read another chapter or two from the book he still had in his jacket. He reached in and handed it over to me and I instantly started to pick up from the marked page, hearing him reach over to turn off the music so he could actually listen to me as he worked.

I was focused on the words I was reading out loud, but every once and a while, I let my mind wander a bit. It shocked me to my core just how happy I was in this moment in time. If anyone would've told me that this is where I would end up in the future, genuinely content and happy for the first time in what felt like forever, I never would've believed it. Never in a million years did I expect this outcome, but at the same time I couldn't be more overjoyed at the results.

I was surrounded by an amazing community that was only growing, my family that I cared deeply about, and the love of my life that treated me better than anyone has ever treated me. He'd shown me what love truly meant and I couldn't be more grateful for that. For everything. It nearly made me sick at how much of a sucker I had become for these people, and yet, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

~ Thanks for reading!

Taglist - @justareader95 @hayley1998 @welcumetomyescape @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice

[lieslab]

The depths between: Prologue

Trigger warning: Reckless alcohol consumption and drowning.

Intro

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

The ocean isn’t much different from the land. Predators and prey all share the same space. The intelligent creatures overpower the smaller ones. The plankton is consumed by krill. Putting up little resistance, the krill is consumed via squid. 

There’s a filling snack of squid for the seals. The seals and sea lions are left alone for the larger sharks and whales. Some of them can be swallowed whole. There’s no forgiveness in the vortex created by whales sucking in and swallowing large amounts of water. 

The treacherous dark waters demand your caution. You’re either predator or prey. Even if you’re a human, you’re not immune to the murky depths of vast nothingness. There are things down there that humans have yet to fully understand. 

Thousands of feet below, there are creatures just out of reach. Some stay closer to the sunlight and others trail the murky darkness. Don’t ask how they find their way, it’s one of the many mysteries of evolution. 

They say that there are two types of humans. Good and evil tend to go hand and hand. You’re one or the other; there is no other choice. Are you full of resentment and wicked bitterness? Perhaps your blood is filled with something lighter and softer, something sickly sweet and pure. 

The concept of sirens isn’t much different. In the world of sirens, there’s good sirens and there are evil sirens. One cannot live without the other. Year after year after year, the siren world keeps growing. 

There are secrets hidden out of human sight. Things far beyond the realm of our understanding. At the top of the food chain, there are still things we should leave alone. There are things that aren’t quite right. 

There’s a reason why survivors in horror movies are the ones who don’t go searching. The ones who think intellectually and choose logic over basic curiosity. Curiosity has the potential to kill the cat. 

Go exploring and you might unearth something far out of grasp. You might find something that changes your life forever. If you’re not careful enough, it can and it will kill you without any hesitation. 

_ _ _ 

In the beginning, there was a deep darkness. You couldn’t see your hands in front of you. The whole earth was nothing, but a void, then came the existence of light. 

The humans bicker about the origins of earth. The creation of everything is constantly up for debate. It doesn’t matter what you believe because you’re here, aren’t you? You are here and the truth is that nobody knows. Nobody knows and that terrified people, so they came up with answers. They call those answers faith and to strengthen that faith, they created religion.

Since the beginning of whatever you believe, there’s one consistent theme; stories have been around since the origin. Parents pass them onto their kids and then their grandkids. Grandkids dish it out to their kids and their grandkids. Over and over again, the cycle repeats. 

Lee Felix knew about stories. He remembered learning about God and good and evil. To be good guaranteed your place in heaven. All you needed was some faith, a clear conscience, and a dash of kindness. 

He lived by the golden rule; treat others as you want to be treated. As a young man, he secured himself a job on a cruise ship. He loved that job more than life itself. 

He liked making small talk with the guests. Some were more kind than others. As the days passed by, he collected more and more stories from people. Stories from younger couples with newborns. Stories from grandparents who appeared on the cruises with their entire families. There were the tales of singles hoping to find a summer fling. 

There was something so joyous and vibrant about all of it. On the massive cruise ship, it was easy to forget that the vessel was floating on water. For months, Felix walked the upper deck and checked upon passengers down below. 

He went wherever management told him to. Some days he found himself cleaning restrooms and other days, he helped out down in the kitchen. Every few days, there was always something new to do. 

Along his time there, he got to know quite a bit of the crew and a variety of the guests. Since he worked there, he had his own room. Workers were granted the same things as first class passengers.

One of those things? Free unlimited alcoholic drinks. Not everyone could hold their liquor on the cruise ship. Perhaps it was a poor choice on behalf of the management, but it didn’t matter. It was already set in stone, everything was already done. 

When Felix’s birthday came around, some of his favorite co-workers celebrated his birthday together. They shooed away the last guest and closed up the bar. After Felix’s first drink, things got hazy. 

He knows that someone brought out a cake. He faintly remembers the artificial taste of chocolate. Everything was going great; people were laughing, alcohol was flowing, candles had been blown out and smoke lazily drifted into the air. 

Then came the party games. Nobody is in their right mind after countless shots. Cheers of joy and chugging the bitter taste of alcohol. He remembered the stinging sensation that crept up his throat and the burn that followed. 

The rest were muted voices and swirls of color. A bit of confusion here and there. The bright bar lights tilted and he couldn’t keep his balance. He stumbled, but nothing kept him upright. He was light as a feather and then there was darkness. 

He stumbled back, his back pressed into a rail, and then he fell. Down, down, down, into the warm waters below. Too drunk to understand what happened, he went beneath the waves. 

The salt water burned his nasal canal and then it filled his lungs. His arm shot out and brushed against something scaly. He shrieked silently. His voice blubbered and blew bubbles towards the surface. 

He squirmed weightless beneath the water, but it was just a void. No air to breathe and no light to see. Nobody to hear your screams, no person to depend on for help, not a single soul to save you. 

The warm water filled his lungs. The burning sensation was so raw that it struck something primal deep inside of him. His head dipped back and his fingers grasped nothingness, trying to find something to stop his descent into the dark waters below. 

The feeling was intense and it didn’t fade. The burning and the choking, the coughing and the sputtering. In his woozy thoughts, all he could think about was oxygen, but it never came. Instead, his body sank further and further into the darkness. 

Like the thousands before him, the clock struck out. There was too much water and not enough air. Humans aren’t equipped for billions of gallons of water. The darkened world stopped and so did his breathing. 

The whites of his eyes rolled back into his head. Long dark lashes closed for a final time. The frantic movements and sloshing around him went still. Down, down, down he free fell. 

The ocean swallowed his body whole. Another victim of the tides and another murder beneath the waves. Life is a tricky and funny thing. You can be a saint in this life, but death does not care. 

When your time is up, it is up. There is no forgiveness and no mercy. Your soul is sucked out and a hollowed shell is left behind. Where does it go? Nobody truly knows. Faith doesn’t save everyone from the unknown. 

Sometimes miracles happen, but unfortunately for Lee Felix, tragedy struck instead. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Next part: Chapter one

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[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[siancore]

End of the World

Sam x Bucky | 2.1K Words| Rated E 

In response to this: Does anyone have any good fic recs for Sam and Bucky hooking up for the first time right before the battle in Wakanda? Really in the mood for some 'we might die, so I'm gonna shoot my shot with the guy i've been pining after forever' SamBucky vibes.

@staying-elive​ this is for you. Hope it’s okay x

The man was insufferable, Sam thought as he and Steve’s friend, James Bucky Barnes, sat in the car and waited. Lord was he insufferable. Not Steve, he was tolerable. His friend, Bucky, was insufferable. Sure, he’d been through a lot, and Sam could understand that, but he was beginning to be a pain in Sam’s ass (and not in a good, sexy kinda way). They didn’t know one another, but they were grown ass men and could be civil, right? Yeah, well, tell that to the bionic staring machine.

“Can you move your seat up?”

Bitch, can you slide your beefy ass across to the other side of this car and quit bothering me? Is what Sam wanted to say, but a simple no would suffice.

Sam didn’t ask for him to have Sam’s six while they handled business. Sam wasn’t new to this superhero shit, thank you very much. It wasn’t his first rodeo, so to speak. He may not be super-fucking-powered, but he could handle his own. After all, he had gone up against the Winter Soldier and lived to talk about it. Still, Bucky stayed close.

Maybe he was doing Steve a solid by being there with Sam. By running slowly to keep pace with Sam. By jumping in front of the Spider-Kid to soften the blow to Sam’s body. And that was – okay Sam could admit, that was nice. Then he had to go and ruin it all by opening his mouth and talking shit.

Why are the fine ones always this annoying? Sam asked himself before lying and saying, “I hate you.”

Sam did not hate James Bucky Barnes. No, he did not. He kinda hated himself for flushing warm when Bucky stared at him too long, dragging his gaze from Sam’s eyes to his lips, and back again. Yeah, he kinda hated himself when, in quiet moments, he wondered what it would be like to have all of that super strength levelled at him in a different way. Where he would lift Sam from the floor and pin him to a wall – or toss him down on one of the shitty motel beds – or manhandle him while sinking himself deep inside of Sam. Yeah, Sam kinda hated himself for the thoughts he had about Bucky in the shower, when he had to bite back sounds so his friends wouldn’t hear as he coated the tiled wall with his release. Yeah, Sam kinda hated himself for being attracted to Steve’s annoying, old ass friend.

Why the hell was the former Winter Soldier still lying there covered in Spider-Kid gunk when he could just break through it? Why was he taking his sweet damn time to get up and help Sam out? Finally, he got to his feet, and went to Sam.

“Well, you’re welcome, by the way,” said Bucky as he stared down at an incapacitated Sam.

“What? For what?” asked Sam as he struggled to get lose.

“For me takin’ the brunt of that Spiderling’s hit for you,” said Bucky, as he knelt down.

“Didn’t ask you to.”

“Didn’t need to.”

“Man, stop fuckin’ around and get me outta this,” said Sam, gesturing to the substance that had him in a bind.

“Y’know, you’re kinda pretty like this,” said Bucky, with a crooked smile. “All tied up.”

Oh?

Oh.

“Quit playin’ and get me outta this.”

“You should ask me nicely,” said James Bucky Barnes because he was an asshole and liked fucking with Sam.

“You should suck my dick.”

Bucky’s eyebrow shot up before he said, “Mmm, tempting.”

“Fuck you,” said Sam, struggling a little more.

Bucky had the audacity to stare into Sam’s eyes, lick his stupidly pink lips, and say, “You offerin’, sweetheart?”

Sam didn’t know if it was the adrenaline coursing through his body, or the fact that Bucky’s voice had dropped an octave and his eyes were steely and piercing, but Sam was struck by a sudden flush of lust. He thought about it for a moment, seeing that there was a seriousness to Bucky’s reply. They were on their own, away from the battle. Sam hadn’t gotten his dick wet in ages. What was a couple of blow-jobs between thrown-together team mates? This was sure to be the end of the Avengers, might as well go out with a bang, right?

Wrong.

Even though Sam was a thrill-seeker, even though he was sure that Bucky would fuck like he fought, hot as shit and very dangerous, he knew they had a job to do. Even if hate-sex with Bucky would probably be the best of his life. Sam looked up at the other man, scoffed, and said, “Please. The only way we’d be fucking is if the world was ending.”

Bucky let out an amused little laugh, began to help Sam out of his binds, and said, “Noted.”

xXxXx

The past couple of years on the run were hectic, to say the least. Moving from one place to the next, living off shitty food in shittier accommodations had Sam missing home. Rhodey had been good at keeping him updated on Sarah and the boys, making sure that they were okay. Making him feel less shitty about being away from them. His family was part of the world, and saving the world meant saving them, so Sam found himself piloting the jet to Wakanda to help a friend.

He knew a friend of a friend was there. Had been there for a while now. He wasn’t sure is said friend of a friend, James Bucky Barnes, was out of the freezer. If he was doing alright. If he was healing. When they touched down, Sam had to hold back a smile when he saw Steve’s friend. He looked good, Sam could admit that. Sam watched the two best friends embraced and he felt a little nostalgic for home. And despite the sombre mood, Bucky was smiling. It was nice.

It was nice right up until he looked Sam dead in the eyes as he answered Steve’s question with, “Pretty good – for the end of the world.”

So, he remembered, then? Or maybe it was a blanket statement? Whatever it was, it was doing something for Sam. All of those lonely nights on the run were made a little warmer by thoughts of what it would feel like to be with Bucky Barnes. But Sam had probably missed his chance. They were gearing up for war.

…..

“Hiding away from everyone, uh?” came a voice behind Sam as he leaned against one of the walls of the Royal Palace Gardens.

It was Bucky. Sam rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a coward, Barnes,” said Sam dryly. “If that’s what you’re tryna say.”

“What? No, of course not,” said Bucky, sounding earnest. “That’s not what I meant at all. I read your file. You’re the bravest of us all.”

“Oh, okay,” said Sam, glancing sideways at the other man. “I’m just no help in there, with all the science stuff and strategy. I see someone who needs help, and I’m there. If there’s a fight that needs fighting, I’m there. Just needed to take a moment to myself. Try to call my sister. Figured this could be it. The end of the world.”

Bucky nodded his head knowingly.

“What’re you doin’ out here?” Sam added.

“Same as you,” Bucky replied. “Sorta. I got no family to call, but I needed a moment, too, since the world is ending.”

Sam nodded his head and took a discreet breath.

“Plus, I figured I’d take you up on your offer.”

Sam raised an eyebrow and looked at Bucky.

“What offer?” he asked, feigning ignorance or amnesia.

Bucky tucked his hair behind his ear and said, “Back in Germany. How you and me would fuck if the world was ending.”

“Right,” was all Sam could say as he swallowed hard.

“Figured we got a little time before the fight starts,” said Bucky as he reached a hand over to trace the lines on Sam’s breastplate. “I’d really hate to die today and not know what it feels like to be with you, Sam.”

Sam looked down at where Bucky’s hand was, and then back up at his eyes.

“We’re not gonna die today,” he whispered, taking hold of Bucky’s hand.

“We might,” Bucky whispered in reply as he ran his thumb over Sam’s. “So, what d’ya say?”

xXxXx

A Wakandan Royal Palace broom closet. Sam was hooking up with the former Winter in a Wakandan Royal Palace broom closet at the end of the world. What was his life? He was drawn from his musing from the feeling of Bucky’s beard against his skin as Bucky sucked marks onto Sam’s neck while rubbing him through his tac gear.

Sam had hooked up with other soldiers before while he was deployed or on a mission. It was always fast, sweaty, and messy. He thought it would be the same with Bucky, but it wasn’t. Bucky did not smell of the desert and dried blood. He smelled of almond oil and soap. His lips were not brash and hurried, he was taking his time to kiss Sam; to savor Sam’s taste. His hand were not rough and hasty, he was touching Sam like he revered him. What would it be like if the world weren’t ending and they had more time? If they had a small bed and less clothing?

“I knew you’d taste so sweet,” Bucky whispered, his breath warm against Sam’s ear. “Knew it from the first time I saw you.”

He undid Sam’s fly and reached his hand inside the tac pants. Sam’s gasped as Bucky took hold of his dick and gave it a tug.

“You – fuck – you noticed me? Were thinkin’ about me back then?” asked Sam as his eyes closed.

Bucky continued to stroke him before kissing his lips once more and saying, “Yes. How could I not? You’re kinda fuckin’ gorgeous.”

Sam threaded his fingers through Bucky’s hair, holding him in place as he asked, “Just kinda, eh?”

Bucky twisted his wrist expertly and caused Sam to moan before he kissed the moan away, and then said, “Actually, not kinda but definitely.”

Bucky stroked Sam’s cock with more fervor and said, “Look at you, sweetheart. You’re beautiful.”

Sam brought their lips together in a crushing kiss. It grew desperate. Bucky pulled him closer. Sam reached for Bucky’s dick and released him from his constraints. Bucky almost growled at the sensation. He pushed Sam against the wall and crowded his space; Sam almost keened for him.

“Wanted you the first time I saw you,” said Bucky as he strummed their dicks together and lapped at Sam’s neck.

“You can have me,” said Sam as his legs grew weak. “Do whatever you like. I want you, too.”

…..

Sam’s head was swimming and his body was alight, but he was right. Bucky fucked like he fought: With focus and precision and strength; swathed in intensity and a little danger. He held Sam in place, Sam’s back to the wall and his legs wrapped around Bucky’s waist, and drove himself in and out of Sam’s tight heat.

Biting kisses moved across every exposed bit of Sam’s warm skin as Bucky fucked him within an inch of his life. He clung to Bucky as the older man took him apart. As Bucky impaled Sam while stroking his cock. As he kissed him and claimed him and made his toes curl. As Bucky whispered almost incoherently against Sam’s neck and ear and lips. All breathy moans and guttural groans.

And it was over too quickly, but it needed to be. The world was ending, and Sam’s felt like it was just now expanding. Opened, like Bucky had done when he slid himself inside of Sam. They each came with curses and each other’s names on their lips. Sated and breathless. Holding one another close as they came down from their respective highs.

Bucky found a clean cloth to wipe them both down before he and Sam stole glances at one another while they dressed. A slight awkwardness filled the small space as Sam found his goggles and put them on the top of his head.

“I should – ah – I should go out first,” he said as Bucky nodded his head. “You wait a minute or two then come out. Y’know, so no one sees us or whatever.”

“Right, of course,” said Bucky, as he picked up his gun that he had placed to the floor.

He stepped closer to Sam, cupped his face, and then pressed a soft, languid kiss to his lips.

“Be safe out there,” said Bucky as he backed away and let Sam leave.

Sam opened the door, looked back, and gave Bucky a sweet smile.

“You, too,” said Sam gently. “See you on the other side.”

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.

Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.

So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.

So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.

Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.

You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.

Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does

[gennyanydots]

This is love I just can’t live without Ch. 1

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!kazansky!reader

Biker!au

“This is love I just can’t live without” masterlist

Ch. 1 “Oh how can it be” Baby Ice

Chapter trigger warnings: loss of a parent.

You take a deep, calming breath as you stare at your childhood home with your bag slung over your shoulder. The one story ranch house seemed a lot bigger when you were younger. But the house aged just the same as you. The paint’s looking a little duller than you remember. Bleached from the bright California sun. The black shutters are looking a little more grey than black. You’re surprised to see your mother’s flowerbeds in good shape. No weeds. Fresh mulch. Your dad must have kept up with them to keep them nice for your mom even though you know he hated those flower beds. Your eyes water again for the thousandth time today and you try and blink back the tears. You knew this was going to be hard, you just didn’t expect it to be this hard.

You didn’t want to be here. You swore you’d never come back. If it was up to you you would have never set foot in this town again. Wouldn’t come anywhere near it. Not after what happened. Not after what he did. He ruined a whole town for you. Ruined a lot more than just that.

You had to come back. It wasn’t a choice. Not really. There’s no getting out of this. You know you would forever regret not attending your own mother’s funeral. You had to suck it up. You had to. You’re here for her. And your dad. And the rest of your family. Not him. Never him. He could fall off the face of the earth for all you care. In fact he should do that for you. Do something good for a change.

When your dad called to give you the news, you begged him not to let him come to the funeral but no matter how much you begged and pleaded it was met with something along the lines of, “Baby girl, it would hurt your mama just as much if you didn’t show up, if he didn’t show. You know she thought the world of that boy. Thought of him as her son regardless of what went down between the two of you. Plus, it would be disrespectful if he didn’t come. He’s coming. That’s final.”

Didn’t mean you didn’t try and beg some more but you were just met with silence on the other end until you gave in with a, “Fine, make me miserable. See if I care.”

So here you were, back home for a week. Just a week. You told your dad you wouldn’t stay any longer than that. You couldn’t. Just being here now made your skin crawl. You need to get in the house. The only promise your dad said he would make you is he wouldn’t let him in the house while you were home this week. He couldn’t say the same about anywhere else but he promised that the house would be your safe haven. Small victories.

The driveway was always covered with various cars and bikes so you couldn’t even tell if anyone was over or if your dad was home when you arrived. You don’t even know what anyone’s bikes look like anymore. Everyone could have new bikes by now or painted their old ones. Five years is a long time. You figure everyone would be at the clubhouse. You hoped everyone would be at the clubhouse at least. You were tired. Driving for four hours straight immediately after work was rough on you. You just wanted to lay down in bed and sleep. You didn’t want to deal with socializing until after you at least decompressed a little if you couldn’t sleep.

The front door flies open. There goes your nap.

“Baby Ice!” a man yells before he comes barreling towards you. You barely have time to brace yourself before you’re lifted up in a bear hug, a yelp escaping your mouth as your feet dangle below you.

You squirm in the arms, “Uncle Slider! Can you put me down! Please!”

You swear the arms tighten and a kiss is placed on the side of your head, “No, I cannot Baby Ice but thank you for asking politely. I’m so glad the manners we taught you stuck through the years. It was a group effort.”

“Slider!” you hear your dad yell. “Put my daughter down or I’m kicking your bike over!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Your uncle yells back. “Your dad clearly was not a part of the group effort to teach you manners since he seems to have none,” he whispers to you then he started to awkwardly waddle towards the house with you still dangling from his arms.

“Wanna bet?” Your dad says, you can practically hear the smirk in in his voice that you know is plastered on his face.

Slider lets you slide through his arms and gently sets you back down safely before scowling at your dad, “You’re no fun, Ice.”

“I’m plenty fun,” you dad says shaking his head at his Sergeant at Arms, he opens his arms out towards you and takes a few steps out onto the porch, letting the screen door slam closed behind him.

As soon as your feet hit the ground you’re racing into your father’s arms, “Dad!”

Ice Man smiles and holds you close, rocking softly from side to side with a hand cupping the back of your head to hold you close. You stay that way for a few minutes before he pulls away to look at you, wiping the tears from your cheeks that you didn’t even realize were there, “How’s about you come inside, baby girl?”

You nod and let go of your father who keeps an arm around you to lead you inside. He opens the screen door for the both of you and you step into the house.

You held onto that small sliver of hope that you’d be able to nap, that maybe Uncle Slider and your dad were the only ones here, the sliver is gone when you step inside and see all the other officers of the Top Gun MC.

“Do my eyes deceive me, Wolf, or is that Baby Ice? Finally come home where she belongs. C’mere, baby girl,” your Uncle Hollywood says as he stands up and beckons you over for a hug, which you happily give him.

“Hey now, you got hugs for all of us or is he just special?” Your Uncle Wolfie asks holding his arms out. You laugh and walk over and give him a hug too. “Missed you, baby girl.”

You roll your eyes, “You act like I didn’t see you less than a month ago.”

Wolfman flops back against the couch dramatically, “Seeing you once every couple a months is not the same as seeing you every day.”

You shrug, “You’re welcome to move to where I live now if you’d rather. If not then every couple of months it is.” It’s what you can offer. You weren’t itching to come back here again after this. You’re still not sure if this was a mistake or not. You’re not too proud to admit you’re scared and anxious.

“Hey Baby Ice,” your Uncle Mav says to you with a nod when your eyes meet his. You’ve seen all your uncles quite frequently over the years, all except one, Maverick. You understand. You didn’t leave on the best of terms with his nephew/adopted son, to put it lightly. Kinda puts a strain on the relationship. You missed your uncle, of course, but you would never want to make him choose sides. You wouldn’t want to force any of your uncles to choose sides, though you know which one Mav would choose time and time again, not that you’d blame him. It’s a different relationship between him and Mav than between you and Mav.

You nod back to Mav and tuck some hair back behind your ears before quietly replying, “Hey Mav” back to him with a little wave that he returns. You didn’t quite know where you stood with him. Didn’t want to push the “uncle” on him since he technically wasn’t your uncle. None of them “technically” were but they were the closest thing you had to uncles and they always treated you like family. But Mav had a duty to his nephew that takes precedence over you. You’re sure your dad would be the same way. At least you think so.

You never once thought of how your dad would have to act around him after you left. Did anything change? Knowing he was the reason your dad’s only child left to get as far away from her home as she could? Knowing he was the reason you sobbed for months whenever your dad called you? You know your dad can be diplomatic but where was the line? Did the joking end? Did your dad stop calling him son since at one time he was on track to being his son in law? Or did nothing at all change? Did your dad still call him son? You hoped not. There’s no way he would ever be his son in law. No way in hell. Not now. Not ever.