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cazshmere · 3 months ago

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Synastry Observations Pt. 3 🌊

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

🐚 in my opinion, moon opposite mars synastry can be SO MUCH better than moon conjuct mars. with moon conjunct mars, the energy gets WAY too intense (sexual energy or just the normal vibe between the two) and to some extent it is exciting and when it’s good it’s REALLY good but when its bad its EXPLOSIVE. whereas the opposition offers a more balanced approach to the relationship. It’s not ON THE FACE typa energy but rather HMMM there’s something interesting about you and i NEED to know you🤨😋

🐚 i mentioned in my favorite synastry placement post, how I loved mars in the 1st house synastry and I TAKE IT BACK lmao😭😂. This synastry is sooo triggering for no reason, mars person and house person CANNOT help but argue or fight for the silliest things. A lot of heated arguments and with 1st house synastry these arguments could happen in public too💀 and everyone else around is like “omg y’all fr need to chill ✋🏽😐”. Very intense energy again

🐚 6th house synastry IS SO CUTE. you KNOW you can surely rely on people you share this synastry with (especially sun, moon and venus). it’s the “let me help you out with that” or “do you wanna go to the gym together?” or “omg let’s go and check out the new air fryer they’re selling”😭🫶🏻. you literally don’t need a special occasion or outing just to have fun with them. doing mundane tasks can also seem so exciting and refreshing if it’s with them🥺

🐚 (18+) mars/venus/pluto in the 6th house synastry could indicate that y’all NEED to do the deed daily 😭

🐚 another SUPER underrated synastry placement is moon - uranus synastry (trine, sextile and conjunction to some extent). this is the typa synastry where you can say the most random shit and the other person is like “omg fr i totally agree” and then y’all start laughing at something silly 😭, it’s SO CUTE

🐚 lilith square venus synastry is confusing ngl, it has a very push and pull type of energy, especially from the lilith person’s side. It’s like the lilith person wants the venus person BUT they also don’t want the venus person to know that they want them yk😭💀?? lilith person wants the control and letting the venus person know they might be interested in them is potentially the lilith person letting their guard down and not having the entire control to themselves so they altogether avoid fully committing and just want to keep the venus person guessing 😐

🐚 mars - saturn synastry has some WEIRD sexual tension to it. it’s like y’all both know you want it so bad but there’s something stopping you from acting on it😭, delayed gratification i suppose?😌

🐚 venus conjunct ascendant does not guarantee that both the parties will fall head over heels for each other. mostly the ascendant person ends up catching feelings QUICK and the venus person could just find the ascendant person attractive and not anything more than than. in any case the house person is the one who falls hard for the venus person (most of the scenarios I’ve seen irl, played out this way). but nonetheless both find each other EXTREMELY attractive FOR SURE ❤️‍🔥

🐚 sun in the 11th house synastry 🤝🏻 ALWAYS HAVING FUN TOGETHER no matter what😋

🐚 when earth house (2nd, 6th, and 10th) synastry is involved, you'll most definitely care about making a good impression and will think carefully before speaking or acting because you don’t want the other person to think badly of you 🍀

🐚 conversely with fire house (1st, 5th,9th) synastry you don’t really care AS much and are easily able to express your feelings more openly without the fear of judgment ��

🐚 water house (4th, 8th, and 12th) synastry is like a blend of both earth and fire house synastry. you do care about what the other person thinks of you, but not so much that you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. at first, you might be cautious about sharing your feelings, but then you realize how much the other person just gets you, and eventually, you bond over some extremely random yet specific situations you've both experienced 😭

🐚 water house synastry culture can literally be crying together and comforting each other during and after🥺

🐚 honestly gemini placements are such LOYAL and loving partners and are wholeheartedly committed when they are in a relationship, i hate when i read posts that say “gemini placements are cheaters/ afraid of commitment” blah blah, have you ever seen a gemini placement in love? literally the most devoted and supportive lovers fr🫶🏻

banner/pic credits to the rightful owners

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timelyrmdoodle · 3 months ago

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Okay it's about time I made a masterpost!!

Hello!! My name's Leo, I use He/Him pronouns, I like, run this account or something? And there's a good chance you're looking for info on it! Soooo-

First things first, some things you might know me by!

This account, obviously

My main, @leounderseas, where I post more cookie-unrelated stuff!

My instagram

My tiktok (currently inactive)

You don't know me from twitter because I don't use that!!! Twitter is banned in my country, so I do not have a twitter account.

Also some artworks you might recognize!!

Now that introductions are out of the way, here's some more info on me and this account specifically! This a daily doodle account for Royal Margarine Cookie from Cookie Run Kingdom! I am very normal about him. That's pretty much all I post about here, though other cookie related things do pop in every once in awhile!

This account was meant to be daily, but I am still finishing up highschool, and it's been very stressfull, so sadly I don't have the time to actually make that work. The plan is still to post a doodle daily! But maybe I'll only be able to do that once I finish up with school, sadly.

I have two main hashtags in here!

#my art and my stuffff, for any art or similar things I end up making and posting! If you're expecting a daily doodle and haven't seen it, or just wanna browse, you might wanna check the hashtag :)

#questions and rambling and stuff, for askbox questions that I answered or just general rambling about characters or any other topic! If you're interested about my insight on things (or my analysis of a certain cookie, whom this account happens to be about....) it'll be there!

My askbox is open, and anonymous is an option! Feel comfortable to ask me questions, don't be shy! Just, yknow, be civilized? And not mean? Or any kind of -phobic or -ist or anything like that

Projects I currently have in the works are:

My marge shimeji! It is still in production sadly because I haven't had the time to work on it.... but I plan on finishing it and making it downloadable for anybody who wants it once it's done!!

Another related thing is my character playlists! I make those for fun in my freetime :) I have a lot of them, and some of them are longer than others because I am obviously biased (staareeess....) but I still enjoy all of them! Here are the links if anybody is interested!

Royal Margarine Cookie playlist (longest by VEEERY FAR. You need commitment to finish this one. Also lowkey suggestive. Tread carefully.)

Black Pearl Cookie playlist (Second favorite! Nowhere near as long but still very dear to me :])

Butter Roll Cookie playlist

Matcha Cookie playlist (Third favorite,,,,,, ouuugh blorbo....)

Pure Vanilla Cookie playlist (Has purelily undertones fyi, i like purelily)

White Lily Cookie playlist (Fourth favorite, SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FOR REAAAALLL,,,,,)

Golden Cheese Cookie playlist (Fifth favorite! Not really that long, but pleeeaasee recommend me songs for it)

Shadow Milk Cookie playlist

Black Lemonade Cookie playlist (very unfinished...)

Shining Glitter Cookie playlist (very unfinished....)

Snapdragon Cookie playlist (very unfinished, IM SO SORRY BABYYYY,,,,)

I also have non cookie playlists! Though they are few

Furina de Fontaine (Genshin Impact) playlist (Second longest playlist I have. I LOVE HER SO MUUUUCHHH YOU GUYS DONT GET ITTT)

Kieran (Pokemon Scarlet & Violet DLC) playlist (This kid is ill and I care him)

To finalize, I don't take comissions right now, but I do take requests in my askbox! Depending on the request ofc. I plan on taking comissions someday, but that'll probably have to wait until I finish highschool next year! And with all that said.... You're caught up!!! *confetti falls Have any questions? Lmk!! I'll answer them! Have a good day :]

#royal margarine cookie #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #crk #questions and rambling and stuff #my art and my stuffff #masterpost

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nerdieforpedro · 11 months ago

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Don't assume on Valentine's Day

Ezra x plus size female reader (Angel)

This post and blog is 18+ MDNI

Word Count: just under 1.7k

Summary: A relationship with Ezra can be a wonderfully frustrating thing.

Warnings: Ezra is his own warning, HANDS, illusion to smut (I think it is, it's a lot less - descriptive then I normally am), angst, chocolate (been a while since Nerdie had some food in here), fluff

Notes: Ezra has been rolling around in my WIPs for months. Don't know what to do with the man, there might be brain rot starting to form. Finally, I feel like I write him well enough in a different WIP to try my hand at a one-shot. He led me to Valentine's Day and we're here. It's my first time posting something I've written with him so... 👀 Who knows? Dividers are by @saradika-graphics 🥰 They're very cute!

Main Masterlist / Ezra Masterlist

“My glorious cinnamon angel, that I should partake of your bounty daily is a miracle that I shall not waste a single solitary moment of.”

“I was Nutmeg the other day, I’m not sure how I changed spices.”

“It would be wise to accept what someone tells you the first time.”

“I’m pretty sure you told me you weren’t a good man when we met and that if my recollection serves me,” Familiar scruff grazes your cheek from behind as arms wrap around your soft frame. You were purposely trying to imitate his drawl and doing a poor job of it. His chuckles tickled your neck, “I shall at most my dear woman, tell you two lies and one truth. For it's easiest to remember your lies if there’s a sprinkle of fact on top.” He leans back, not releasing you, but making room for his forehead to be pressed between your shoulder blades as his chuckle turns into booming laughter that can be felt down your spine.

“Is that what you believe me to sound like? I’m appalled.” Ezra lifts his head so his face lands squarely into your soft tresses, you wore your familiar ponytail and placed a kiss to the back of your neck before moving to your side, “I’ll need to further educate you with my musings and prose.” Laying your head on his shoulder, that’s something you’ve always wanted from him these past few months. More of the man named Ezra.

He’d told you he was not a good man, a ‘reprobate and a scamp.’ It was in a bar. One friend had left early because their kid decided it was a great night to ride with friends on motorized scooters when someone was injured. The other friend has captured her mark and gave you the text of her location and that she was heading out. Your last drink of the night that you had settled on a mai tai, though you’d found that it was paid for by a man making his way over to you. He was tall, had a striking nose, a red leather jacket and a grin that exudes confidence. He leans on the bar next to you, grinning wider when you sip the mai tai he’s paid for.

“Good evening my dear, may I take the seat next to you?” You tell him yes and he sits, eyes still trained on you. You shift on your stool under his focus gaze, you’re used to more glassy eyed stares that wander away. You tell him your name and he repeats it three times, committing it to memory, it makes sense because now you know he only calls you by name if there’s an issue to be had. Otherwise, Ezra is an avid lover of terms of endearment. The night continues as you two make small talk and you’ve long finished your drink.

The noise in the bar is starting to die down the later it gets and that’s when he says it, what gets his hooks into you, “My bountiful Angel, I am a reprobate scamp of a man. It would be wise to get yourself home, however,” his large hand, one of the two that bring you as much ecstasy as they do longing, slides from your thigh where it had been sitting the majority of your conversation and you had not moved it, over to the small of your back. “I would be doing a disservice to myself and you if I did not offer to sully your beauty just a bit.” You’ve turned to look at him, your eyes heavy with desire. That was well before he even proposed the idea. Your breath hitches as he kisses your shoulder and has his face a few inches from yours. “With efforts made on both our parts, I may become a better man for the night and you may find the indulgence to be quite gratifying.” Grabbing the collar of his jacket, you smack your lips into his, hungry for him and he smiles into the kiss. You’re aware he’s captured you and you’re fine with it, taking him to your apartment and peeling each other's clothes off.

Ezra’s hands roamed your body and he spoke nearly the entire time, but you’re not only enamored with him but his voice. It reminds you of honey bourbon, with plenty of kick but dashes of sweetness as he makes you moan, cry and peak repeatedly. He’s tried you out in several different positions, curious to see how he could manipulate your body. Hands traced your numerous curves, folds, and rolls, his experimentation of what was possible to do with you continued. You’re certain that in addition to the sweat, saliva and production of both of your bodies revelry were tears and not just your own. The loquacious reprobate had moments of tenderness in between the bites, bruising and stretching, it would be that was the mention of truth.

For a night and in a twisted fashion, he did become a better man with you under, over and beside him.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, maybe after the fourth or fifth time, but you didn’t see him when you woke up. It was a shame, you at least wanted to tell him goodbye, maybe had the chance to ask if he could come by again. To your surprise, he made coffee and was complaining about the lack of a newspaper and items to make pancakes. Ezra does comment that your coffee is decent though. It set the stage for your relationship with him now that he didn’t just leave that morning.

Nothing is defined. No labels are used outside of different names you call each other lovingly. He had a key to your apartment two months after your first night. It’s been about six months now and you’ve wanted to ask what you are to him, if there are others because there’s no one else for you. Ezra, despite his mysteries and supposed ‘scamp’ status, has been nothing but kind to you when you’re with him. He makes you feel seen and heard, his often dramatic use of language not hiding his affection for you. Is that all you two have? Just an affection toward each other and an affinity for how your bodies connect?

Pondering this while sitting on your couch, it made you think of a conversation you’d had with him about a month ago when he began giving you money on a bi-weekly basis. You assume that however he makes money, you hadn’t asked and it’s either something he’s not proud of, or something he can’t tell you.

“You don’t have to give me anything Ezra honey. I’m just happy you’re here.”

“I’m well aware you have not asked Angel, that’s why I am offering it to you. I may be a man of little honor but the amount of time I spend here warrants such a gift.”

“We don’t do gifts. I thought we agreed on that. We’re both miserly.” Your light giggle warrants a small chuckle from Ezra.

“Your presence is a gift to me just like every interaction. Don’t argue with me.” He states your name softly. It’s a gentle warning to not refuse him. You nod, kiss him and quickly embrace him. His words had a profound effect on you as they often did. His large hands rubbed your back, arms around you as well.

Ezra has decided to stop by on Valentine’s Day. You two have never discussed it and from your understanding, he likely wouldn’t be interested. Neither would you. It would be just another day, had he not just walked through the door with small bags with hearts on them. The surprise on your face is obvious as he sets them down on your coffee table after removing his boots.

“Now before conclusions are drawn, they were buy one, get one half off.”

“Why did you think to buy the first one?”

“I wanted to bring you something sweet. Is that not what this day is for?”

“It is, but we’ve never talked about it. I assumed you wouldn’t be interested.”

“Your assumptions are not unfounded. It was you Angel so, I felt I should get something.”

“Thank you. I love the milk chocolate truffles. Ezra, you’re…too good to me.”

He sits down next to you on the couch with a quizzical look, his hand finding a place on your knee, “That my dear Angel I doubt. Why do you think so?”

“It’s…just a fleeting thought. Pay it no mind.” You grab one of the bags and take one of the chocolates, popping it out of its wrapper and into your mouth. The smooth cascade of chocolate hits your tongue and has you moan. Normally Ezra would make a comment about that, but he’s focused again as he periodically has needed to. He’s sure he knows why you’re having such a thought and for all his words, he hadn’t told you what he’d felt when you gave him your key. Your name drops from his lips slowly and your eyes fix on his. Where is this warning coming from?

“Listen. No matter this blasted holiday or any other day, I need you my dearest sweet Angel. In my life and at my side. My delay in telling you this has caused you some undue anguish. Parish those ideas. You are the only one who’s bed I will warm and who I would even consider engaging in this farce of a celebration with. I would have hoped you knew but some things are better said and done.” A tender kiss to your forehead as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs, he then rubbed his nose against yours that had your smile come back.

“This Valentine’s day was the best one yet. Thank you Ezra, for everything. I’m happy to know some of my assumptions were correct.”

“There’s few things that you do that are not correct my bountiful Angel. There may be some merits to this holiday. We’ll need to celebrate again next year to be fully sure.”

The "I'll allow V-day for the fics we'll get" crowd ❤️: @maggiemayhemnj @pedroshotwifey @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @magpiepills @sp00kymulderr @trulybetty @lady-bess @readingiskeepingmegoing @avastrasposts @legendary-pink-dot @goodwithcheese @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @secretelephanttattoo @rhoorl @for-a-longlongtime @i-own-loki @grogusmum @inept-the-magnificent @missladym1981 @katw474 @soft-girl-musings @alltheglitterandtheroar @atinylittlepain @tinytinymenace @clawdee @javierpena-inatacvest @daddy-dins-girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @gasolinerainbowpuddles @agentjackdaniels

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Ezra #ezra x plus size reader #ezra prospect #A Nerdie fic #valentine's day #fluff #peeks fo smut

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dangerous-disposition · 1 year ago

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Gerry's WIP Wedneseekend!

This was hugely helpful for me last week in just getting Words Down for the strap!verse which has now become an actual fic rather than a series of smutty one-shots oops so now I'm gonna do this to focus on my fics for Lex's Summer Challenge!

DISCLAIMER: I am only calling it WIP Wedneseekend because it stresses me out to "limit" myself to one day and I think it's fun!! Please do not feel like you also have to do a whole thing too if you're tagged or see this.

The Rules

I post the two prompts I claimed as a poll

Y'all vote in the poll and send me asks requesting a snippet of the fic of your choice

For every vote a fic receives, I will commit to writing 100 words on that fic. For every ask I receive, I will commit to writing an additional 100 words. (So if one gets 10 votes, and 5 asks, that's 1500 words)

At the end of the weekend, I will have completed fics to prepare for posting by the end of the month!

I will post a snippet of what I wrote and tag everyone who requested a snippet!

The Snippet - "Can I braid your hair?"

“Can I braid your hair?” Eddie blinked over at Steve, eyebrows high on his sweaty forehead while he held his hair up off the back of his neck. He could swear he felt heat pouring out of his head. Summer had descended on Hawkins with a vengeance, as if in retaliation for the brief handful of weeks in the Spring when the portals to a frigid hell dimension opened up and attempted to take over their world. Granted, summers in Hawkins tended to be hotter than Satan’s taint, especially around Independence Day, but Eddie figured he was allowed to be noisy and bitchy about it if he wanted. He almost died—first at the hands of a town full of angry, scared hicks, then by a swarm of demobats—and this was his first summer officially free of Hawkins High, the other frigid hell dimension in that shitty town. If Eddie had to spend the summer in the sweaty armpit of America because of dumb bullshit like “recovery” and “physical therapy” and “being under observation,” he was going to bitch and moan and throw all the tantrums he wanted. It helped that all the stupid bullshit (like recovery, and physical therapy, and being under observation) meant that Eddie got to spend a lot of time with Steve outside of the apocalypse. They were both lucky enough to be Under Observation together, courtesy of both of them being the favoured chew toys for the demobats. From there, Steve just started staying close to Eddie, taking him to and from physical therapy, helping him with his exercises at home, coming over when Eddie was in too much pain to get up to use the bathroom, let alone get up and locate painkillers and take them. It had been a while since Steve had to help him on a particularly bad pain day, at least one that extreme, but Steve still came over almost daily. Usually, they would just hang out and eat junk food, smoke a bit of pot sometimes, usually watch whatever movie Steve brought over from work. Sometimes, Steve would suggest they go for a drive and they would just do that, make like they would leave completely. “We could get out of here, never look back.” Worded like a comment, spoken like an oath. “You wanna run away with me, Stevie?” Tone teasing but lined with a hollow desperation. The air in the Beemer would change the moment that question fell from Eddie’s lips, the way Steve’s arms flexed as he squeezed the steering wheel captivating. Most of the time, Eddie doesn’t hear an answer from Steve, other times he hears a quiet but teasing, “Of course, Eds.”

The (no pressure) Tags

These are mostly just so people can vote if they want ;p

@scarcrossdlvrs @patchworkgargoyle @stobinesque @inairbinad @legitcookie @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero @yournowheregirl @judasofsuburbia @wynnyfryd @steddieas-shegoes @pizzaqueen @starryeyedjanai @starrystevie @scoops-stevie @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @xenon-demon

#wip wednesday #wip weekend

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beesmygod · 10 months ago

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do you mind talking about what made effexor so bad for you? also where can I read about this streamer fake death lol

all the stuff on thedarkid is on SA in the sagas thread lol. i would prefer not to post a link bc the quality of new posters is at an all time low on that website and i dont want to contribute to the problem.

AS FOR EFFEXOR: i am prefacing this with the fact that this is my personal experience as a result of my body chemistry. effexor might work for some people with different body chemistry. my suggestion would be to try everything else first before resorting to this one and to be ready to feel really, really bad when discontinuing it.

i got off effexor because the negatives of taking it finally outweighed the positives and the problem i had been taking it for was no longer relevant. this will make me sound ridiculous so keep in mind i took crazy meds for this exact problem, but after we bought and moved into the house, i started having nightly panic attacks and weeping fits over both the decadence of my new non-renter lifestyle (which was materially going to impact the quality of my work and how i viewed reality) and the fact that i had taken a really big step toward commitment without having resolved the source of my deep social anxiety. i could realize how i was behaving and reacting was not normal and until i could get a therapist to address it, i was going to have to put a bandaid on it.

effexor flattened my emotions and my affect lol. this is really, really good for when you cannot reach a baseline of normality. this became bad when that flatness turned into apathy and started sliding into my day to day life. doing basic household chores became a daily struggle. then i started not making my deadlines on time because i completely lost the will to draw, which actively began to terrify me. and then once i started struggling to bathe and brush my teeth i was like "okay. something is really really wrong". so then i started the process of getting off.

that's the broad overview. i did not realize the extent of the damage it was causing me until i started getting it out of my system:

my sleep schedule was destroyed bc it gave me terrible insomnia.

night sweats. NIGHT SWEATS.

theres been a rash on my face for over a year that ive thrown EVERYTHING at to try to get rid of, thinking it was anything from lupus to a yeast infection. it turns out its just caused by the pill. it goes away when theres less in my system o_o

my lip was also split for a year. my gums were covered in sores. and the inside of my nose felt like someone put a weed whacker in there and sliced it up. huge scabs. constantly in tiny flecks of pain. miserable but not unbearable, you know?

pussy felt like sandpaper.

i didnt even notice this until later but it also made me fail to derive pleasure from the touch of another person. but like i wanted to. if someone held me or squeezed my hand it felt almost painful. shit made no sense but you just think "this isnt how its supposed to feel? whats wrong with me?". but like that's over. it stopped. it feels good again.

food tasted bad. and i dont mean no flavor i mean BAD. i say this a lot but i cannot understate how fucked it made my palate. its normal again thank god. i have a bag of coffee that tastes different depending on when the last time i took a pill was. i spent the last year complaining about how bad processed food tastes now like all companies decided to make their product bad instead of something being wrong with me specifically. but when adam's cooking started to taste bad i was like "wait. what? thats not possible". lol thanks honey for helping me realize....

this one is really weird: it would cause specific parts of my body to feel stiff. the worst and most chronic part was the small of my lower back, which felt pulled taught so tight it was uncomfortable. then it spread to the fingers of my right hand, causing me to have to stop every few minutes and scrunch my fingers to try to alleviate it. this symptom only returns after i take a dose now. it makes me thrash like a fish trying to get comfortable at night

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freebooter4ever · 2 years ago

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So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

#geno #doodles

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underratedmhapoll · 1 year ago

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So About the Brackets... (Important Update)

I've been thinking about where the logical end point of this blog should be recently. I have a lot of other projects and personal things in my life I want to have more time to get back to. Because that free time was spent monitoring poll posts and photoshopping screenshots together for the last few months.

It's been fun, it really has, but I can't be committed to this sort of thing forever. At that realization, I've decided to do three things.

I'm going to take a break. I'm going to finish the crafts that have been lingering half finished on my desk. I'm going to redouble my efforts into the AUs I have. I'm going to finally try and finish the writing challenge I took on last year. Point being, making content for this blog isn't going to be a priority for me anymore. We had our fun but it needs to end at some point, right?

However! We're going out with a bang with a 64 character bracket (and possibly another secret special bracket). Suggestions will be held as normal for the next two weeks. These will be the final brackets this blog takes part in hosting.

I still want to drop content on this blog on occasion but it won't be planned out projects like the brackets anymore. Maintaining the brackets, updating them daily, making sure I use different images for every individual poll, making extra visuals like the blog headers and final results page; it was a lot of work that required constant monitoring and maintenance. To put it simply, any polls I do post from this point forward will be much less work, and I won't be keeping track of results. Most likely, I'll just drop random MHA related polls whenever my brain comes up with one. I still have some bonus poll ideas that never got posted so I'll throw those out first and foremost but I'll also take suggestions for polls as well. Little one offs basically. They'll be sparse and silly but it's something to justify keeping this blog around. More details for those will come at a later date.

If someone else wants to run a similarly themed bracket you are more than welcome to! I may even post my assets if people are interested. I am honored you'd want to keep the idea alive but it's about time I put down the tournament template and call it a night. If you do make one, or any kind of MHA bracket, feel free to tag me and I'll happily reblog and boost as I've done before.

See you in the mega bracket.

Plus Ultra!

#underrated mha poll #update

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mouseratz · 11 months ago

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No one is a fat “phobe”. I was fat as a kid too and only up until a couple years ago I wasn’t. I’m skinny but not instagram skinny like normal skinny and after I eat I look like I gained even more weight till I wake up again, like normal. I was fat too the difference is I don’t complain about it online and make it the base of my identity. And you take everything in the worst way, nobody is mad your autistic or fat, but when u do the above things like complain it just is sad. There’s other things to talk and think about. I’m sure it’s not fun thinking about it for you.

Y'know I'll feed a troll a little bit now just because i'm bored. Are you, like, not familiar with the concept of bloating? (Of course your stomach looks bigger when you eat. That's kind of how those work- they stretch to contain your meal while it digests. that's what a stomach does.)

And I'll be pretty obvious for you, get really personal- there was a period in my life where I didn't eat much at all. I did starve myself, though not with the express purpose of being skinny (my anxiety made me feel sick way too often), and I did lose some weight, I'll give you. I ate a meal or less daily, skipping entirely some days, and my stomach hurt all the time, for around two years. The weight loss was noticeable enough that people would comment how good I looked and must've been feeling, even though my mental illnesses were at their peak and I was very close to committing suicide (and would've said as much if they asked. but most people didn't. because I was losing weight, I must've been taking care of myself, right?)

I still, at my absolute skinniest, would be, by BMI, be categorized at the borderline of overweight and obese. Fatness is often genetically determined, there's only a certain range your body will tolerate, simply. We are told otherwise because it sells- it sells weight loss products and extreme diets, and while exercise isn't innately bad, it absolutely pressures people into more extreme routines there, too, and buying more of that shit. It financially benefits a lot of people to say fatness is a disease in of itself to sell cures that really do not do shit. All of the studies we have show that sustained weight loss is INCREDIBLY difficult to achieve past a certain level (no, I'm not linking, because I'm lazy, ill give you that, too), and big fluctuations in weight repeatedly (up and down, often called "yo-yo"-ing or "yoyo dieting") are NOT good for the body (yet, people are still encouraged for the effort, and blamed on being "gluttonous" or "lazy" or "undisciplined" for being unable to keep weight off).

And, past all of that, even if fatness was something that made you sick- how would that justify treating fat people like this? the harassment, the disbelief, the entitlement, for just having people aware of your body? where is the kindness, if you really think we're so suffering? why is it all holier-than-thou condescension?

anon, you seem like you are very new to the idea of fatphobia, which is why I've taken my time to explain anything at all. I would recommend looking into this topic more, but also try to understand how other people feel instead of taking the time out of your day to send rude messages to someone you've never met.

plus, if you scroll through my blog, you'll see a lot more shit posts and discussions about anything else. I like to draw, I make art. I collect toys, and post about that. Have you looked at anything in my profile but the post that got 20k notes & my responses? I am a whole person, I'm just not going to shut up about my fatness or my mental illnesses because they're part of it. This is a picture you've painted wholly for yourself to justify your disgust of something I said.

#cw fatphobia #cw disordered eating #cw sui mention

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thursday7econlive · 2 years ago

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Name: Regina Nappo

Student ID: 17848878

Discussion Time: Thursday 7:00-7:50 pm

Professor Branch, Econ 20A

Date: March 14, 2023

What's in a Mindset?

The topics that I wanted to focus on for my Econ Live project are total utility, marginal utility, and sunk cost fallacy.

This quarter I am taking eight classes, as depicted in the graph above. As I have been thinking of my Econ Live project topic, I realized that the graph above represented a great aspect of my daily life, and also discusses what we have talked about in class.

Taking eight classes, there are some days when I have up to eight class sessions to attend, whether it's lectures, meetings, or discussions. However, I noticed that my overall satisfaction and productivity would greatly diminish throughout the day, and at about my fifth class, my marginal utility would be down to 0. As you can see in the graph, my total utility generally increases until about the fifth class. After the fifth class, my marginal utility begins to go into the negatives, which causes my total utility to begin to slope downwards as well.

Furthermore, I noticed that the idea of sunk cost fallacy actually played a great role in my day-to-day decisions. I commute to school, so there have certainly been days where I have stayed for an 8th class of the day. On these days, I use the logic, "I'm already here, so it would be a waste not to go to class. I paid tuition for these credits, so it would be a waste of money not to attend my 8th class of the day." During our economics class, I learned that this mindset is very similar to sunk cost fallacy. Noted, I do not often have eight classes in a single day, so I'm not encouraging skipping class. However, I do think there are reasonable limits, and when I know I would be much more productive studying at home than having a staring contest with the clock in my 8th class of the day, I think that is the idea of sunk cost fallacy coming into play.

As a brief refresher, sunk cost fallacy is when a person is unwilling to give up on a course of action due to already having heavy investments in it, even though giving up the idea would have the greatest benefits. This is like when a person chooses to watch the end of a terribly boring and pointless movie simply because they already bought the ticket for the movie, and think that leaving would be a waste. In reality, that person could go home and make more value of their time, time that would've gone to a pointless commitment to a pointless movie.

So, I realized that sometimes when I was completely burnt out, forcing myself to go to a class that I knew I could easily make up from notes, posted lectures, readings, etc., was not worth it. I would normally not learn much due to tiredness, often getting distracted on my phone or in my own thoughts. However, I realized that I could make myself much more economically efficient by spending that time studying, looking over my notes, and working on homework.

All in all, this mentality has helped me to develop a much healthier outlook on academics and my mode of production. I often subconsciously consider things like my total utility nowadays in my everyday life, such as when it comes to hanging out with friends and such as well. A few hours is good, but after reaching the maximum point, it becomes a little excessive, especially if I have work and other things I must tend to. Overall, I am very glad that I learned about sunk cost fallacy as well. I actually tried to start an online business about a year ago, where I ordered a bunch of jewelry online for my store. Needless to say, without any experience, it did not go as planned. However, due to sunk cost fallacy, a phrase that I did not know existed at the time, I continued to spend lots of money on social media ads in hopes of at least selling all the stuff I had ordered. Of course, amateur ads did not do much, and I just ended up finding myself deeper into the rabbit hole. The point is, I learned a great deal in our economics course, and more and more, I am starting to see these concepts in my everyday life.

As for the second graph, it is a copy of the first graph but with accurate depictions of my emotions throughout the span of the curves! The emotions continuously rise up until a certain point and then start going downhill. Thank you Professor Branch for a great quarter!

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eazy-group · 1 year ago

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Carolyn lost 80 pounds

New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/carolyn-lost-80-pounds/

Carolyn lost 80 pounds

Transformation of the Day: Carolyn lost 80 pounds. Her journey began after she had a stroke in 2019 and she has been committed to good nutrition and exercise ever since. She feels blessed to have a second chance at life. #fitover60

Social Media: Facebook: Carolyn J. Yancey

When did you start your journey? I started in 2019 after my stroke

What was your motivation? What inspired you to keep going, even when you wanted to give up? In 2019 I had a stroke and the doctors told me if I wanted to turn my health around I had to make some changes in my nutrition and exercise regimen moving forward. I made a decision that day to turn my life around and live. Did I want to give up, how many times? (Every day, I had to fight through my emotions). I also had a heart monitor on when I left the hospital and my kidney had been damaged. What inspired me was wanted to live for myself first and my family, did not need to be burying me. I had to trust the process and go through the test on blind Faith.

How did you change your eating habits? I realized that I could not outwork a bad diet, no matter how much exercise I did. I had to change my eating habits. The first things I stopped were sodas, chips, candy bars & fast foods. I took baby steps with each thing item I changed. I stated grilling, baking & air-frying. Some days I passed the test and some days I had to start over. I cooked more food from home and ate healthier choices. I also had to give myself “Grace” daily. I was not a perfect but working to perfect my bad habits.

What is your workout routine? I actually workout with some sisters every morning with weights and sometimes without. I track my steps daily (at lease 10,000 or more), and use cardio videos (chair or standing). We have even done line dancing in a chair. I also walk every evening at our community track and ride my stationary bike at times.

How often did you work out? I work out daily, doing some form of activity.

What was your starting weight? In 2019, it was 270 pounds.

What is your current weight? It is 190 pounds.

What is your height? I’m 5’2″.

How long did your transformation take? It took me four years, I slow walked it out and now I am a four year stroke survivor.

Is weight loss surgery part of your journey? I never had weight loss surgery.

What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far? I learned that it is never too late to start over; sometimes you have to do it alone. I am 67 and just beginning to love myself and stay consistent. By staying consistent, I reversed my kidney disease and they are normal now. I no longer wear a heart monitor and I’m working full-time. I feel blessed to have a second chance at life.

What advice do you have for women who want to lose weight? Ladies this might be hard for some but I didn’t see the changes until I started taking pictures (even when I said I don’t like to take them). I also did measurement and lost a lot of inches. Take those pictures and trust the process.

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regina1030 · 2 years ago

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Regina Nappo #17848878

Professor Branch, Econ 20A

March 14, 2023

What's in a Mindset?

The topics that I wanted to focus on for my Econ Live project are total utility, marginal utility, and sunk cost fallacy.

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1autistictacticalrefrigerator · 2 years ago

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Heres the actual fic :)

Police!Soap and Killer!Ghost

(I’ll skip the beginning aspects, please read the post above to know the beginning and how it all started… 👆)

Soap was on a midnight patrol, ever since “The Ghost” started his killing, the police department had to do daily midnight patrols.

Most of the police are afraid to do midnight patrols ever since The Ghost started to pick off police officers on their midnight shifts.

But someone had to do it.

So Soap, new and oblivious to all the rumors, of course, took it. I mean, its extra bucks right?

Little did Soap know though, the rumors were all indeed true to a certain degree, and he had just painted a huge target in red on his back thats just spelling out, “Come After Me”.

…

Ghost was a professional murderer, he picked up the skill after realizing a need to survive, his father was a drunk fuck, couldn’t do anything right nevertheless get a job. His father killed his mother, so Ghost thought, “Hey, if I can witness a murder, I can commit one.”

That was how he became a contracted killer for money. For his little brother. For my family. Ghost had thought.

But that was all in the past. Now that Tommy is all grown up, he doesn’t need his big brother to support him anymore. He gets a normal life. But Ghost? Never.

Now Ghost does his hobby with pride, taking on the name “The Ghost”. No targets. No money. Only adrenaline. Thats how this man operates.

There was one problem however, a new police officer- actually. The man was.. a lot to say the least. He was annoying though, every time Ghost comes close to a killing, the officer always seemed to be heading his way. Like a fucking magnet. Then Ghost has to run away again. Rghh..

THE WORST PART IS, THAT MAN WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT HE ALMOST CAUGHT THE GHOST ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.

What has the world come to?

Ghost knew he had to do something about this eventually, he had to if he wanted to stay out of jail. So.. no time like the present.

Because there he is, the man himself.

Police officer Soap Mctavish.

…

Soap hums to himself quietly as he took on his patrol, tonight the air was crisp and cool.

“Hmm, maybe a nice up of coffee once I’m done here.” Soap says to himself, “Oh, wait. I forgot.. ugh, cafes probably aren’t open at this hour.”

Soap had another two hours self before someone else takes the shift, nighttime patrols were always exhausting. Its alright though, Soap likes to patrol through the park. He loves the flowers there. And its also right next to the woods, the town wasn’t that big. Speaking of the woods..

Soap comes to a halt when he sees a shadowy figure in the trees. Oh no, did staying up all night make Soap delusional…? He was a curious man though. Can’t hurt to take a look, right?

As soon as Soap nears the figure, arms shot out grabbing Soap, making him drop the flashlight he was holding. He tried to scream for help, but a hand clasps over his mouth- muffling his cries. Soap thrashes and kicks blindly, trying to hit whoever grabbed him, but had no luck.

Soap attempts to grab his taser, but he feels his head colliding with something hard like a tree before his vision slowly but surely turns to black..

..and he’s out cold.

( END OF PT1 )

(Someone probably already did this somewhere in the world, but heres my contribution.)

Police!Soap and Killer!Ghost anyone?? 🔪

Soap was a rookie police officer with a pretty impossible dream; to catch The Ghost. The infamous Ghost was a serial killer that had terrorized the poor town even before Soap became a officer. The police could never get the drop on Ghost, hence the name “The Ghost”. Other officers told Soap rumor is that the man could go off the grid any time and nobody would be able to find him, not even the fbi.

Soap didn’t think so. He thinks thats all bullshit, how hard can it be? Okay, maybe a little but still..

Nobody would help Soap however, the killer apparently terrifies even the police, he looked menacing even in the few blurry photos they managed to get of that bastard.

All black, tall and sturdy frame, and his signature skull mask.

…

Somewhere in the town, a mysterious man in all black and a skull mask has taken a certain interest in a rookie police officer.

Maybe this one will be smarter..? Or at least more fun.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(I’ll probably make a actual story. For now this is like.. uh.. the trailer. Yes. The trailer. 🫵😃)

#call of duty #call of duty mw2 #cod #ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley

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liaromancewriter · 2 years ago

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Penny for your thoughts?

Do you think part of the charm in the love story between Ethan x MC is the fact that he never loved anyone before loving her? If he were a “normal” man, who has been in serious committed relationships full of love (by his age maybe a divorce even), would it take away how “special” MC is? (I’m trying to talk in general about “MC” instead of “your MC” because I don’t want anyone to feel insulted, but feel free to add up with your own HC if you have Ethan being in love before, I know a lot of people don’t and that’s ok) and;

What about if Ethan were a “normal” man who has friends, goes out, uses social media and is more outgoing (not the life of the party, he is still Ethan Ramsey, just not so lone wolf Ethan Ramsey). If MC didn’t have the praise of having him living life more happily and freely, would it take away from their relationship/bond?

I recently read a post about having characters experiencing a big ass love story more than once, not just the “They never felt this way before”. So it got me thinking about Ethan (I know you share your thoughts on Cassie's side), and the weight MC had in his life. Plus even with your guarantee of Happy Endings I have seen you using realistic situations/approaches in your stories and find that really cool. Best of both worlds. :)

I was online so thought I'd answer with my initial thoughts.

It's hard to say if Ethan Ramsey in canon didn't have any committed relationships before the series starts. There just isn't any evidence to prove that or disprove it for that matter. We do know of his relationship with Harper and by all accounts it lasted several years (at least 7 or 8) even if they weren't together the whole time.

I always assumed Ethan was normal in the way that you described, but just private. He says in Book 1, Ch 4 (premium scene) that he likes to keep his private life separate from the hospital. He also tells us that he makes time for the things that fulfill him: travel, the arts, exercise.

We know Dolores was his friend for 10 years, they met for Sunday roast every now and then, and that he knows her family well enough to call them not once, but twice. He and Naveen certainly were close, celebrating birthdays, etc.

I believe he had a full life, but he is a workaholic. By the time MC comes to Edenbrook, Ethan is starting to burn out and the events that transpire over the next couple of years don't help matters. In that respect, we as the reader only really see his life at work and the relationship dynamics that exist as a result.

The charm of the series, at least for me, was how unexpected the relationship was between Ethan and MC, and as such it's all the more memorable for it. MC didn't come to Edenbrook for love, they came to learn from Ethan Ramsey. From the first moment, that's exactly what happens because they're not afraid to ask for it (unlike Landry).

If MC chooses to romance Ethan, their love story has elements of deep caring and trust, passion and friendship that ultimately becomes love. If MC views Ethan only as a mentor and a peer on the Diagnostics Team, their relationship still has caring and trust at the heart of it as well as friendship and respect. He is MC's mentor and invested in their career, wanting only the best for them.

I know from personal experience that when you work all hours of the day, your strongest and deepest relationships are with those you work with. If you want that of course. But spending 14 hours or more with someone daily just creates a bond that others can't always understand.

If Ethan had a full life outside the hospital, which I believe he did, he and MC would have still had this amazing bond. They're alike in many ways with respect to medicine and career goals, but they also have their unique perspectives and approaches. And they respect each other for it.

--------------

Character Asks: @jerzwriter @coffeeheartaddict2 @quixoticdreamer16 @lucy-268 @queencarb @crazy-loca-blog @peonierose @openheartforeverinmyheart @bluebelle08 @trappedinfanfiction @rookiemartin

#ask and answered #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc

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tsukishumai · 4 years ago

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pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x f!reader word count: 2.7k (idk I’m sorry) tags/warnings: fluff, smut, NSFW, bondage, oral(f!receiving), MINORS please DNI with this post a/n: a big thank you to @forgetou and @neobakas for beta-reading this piece for me. ilysm <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were always incredibly considerate of Sakusa. It had been that way from the moment the two of you had met. You didn’t scoff at how he needed to be the first one in the locker rooms after practice, or laugh at his post-game rituals. You quietly adjusted to his odd habits, no fanfare or complaints. You never did so with any disdain nor treated his quirks as if they were a nuisance. You just accepted those parts of him without a second thought, considering it just as important to him as his limbs.

So yes, Sakusa fell for the kind girl that made him feel normal – the one that avoided taking him to crowded places, and stitched his jersey number onto a face mask. He thinks your jokes are hilarious, and he feels proud when he’s the one making you laugh. He likes it when you cook his favorite meals, and he appreciates the way you stay up to wait for him when he gets home a little late. He notices the effort you put into always looking pretty for him every day, always waiting for him to initiate contact for fear of invading his personal space.

But that’s just the thing.

Sakusa doesn’t want any personal space from you. He loves the way you smell, and the way your skin feels beneath his fingers. He daydreams about holding you in his arms, and rubbing circles along your back as you relaxed against him. He gets butterflies in his stomach when you kiss his cheek without asking him first, and he revels in the timid look on your face when you apologize for doing so.

He doesn’t mind. Why would he? Despite any preconceived notions one might have of him, Sakusa enjoys affection – from the right person. He’s not going to give Bokuto a high five, nor is he going to shake Hinata’s hand. Sakusa never fails to get the odd look from Atsumu when he slides his hand into yours without a second thought, or when he ‘allows’ you to brush his hair away from his face.

Sakusa wants to scoff whenever he hears that phrase. He doesn’t allow you to touch him. He yearns for it like his lungs need air.

So of course he notices when you try to keep him at arm’s length.

You were never afraid to tell him how you felt, easily slipping I love yous and I’m missing you into daily texts and conversation. It made his heart flutter, but Sakusa wasn’t a man of many words. He’s not sure how to write a love letter, and he’s never even picked up a poetry book. When you ask him how much he loves you, he’ll just look you dead in the eye and say “A lot?”

No, you won’t be receiving sonnets nor prose about his undying affection. He’d much rather just show you.

His every touch is filled with so much care, delicate but sure as they travel across the stretch of your skin. He places gentle kisses along your pressure points, feening for the feel of your pulse against his lips. He wants to taste every inch of you, and commit the sensation of you on his tongue to memory.

Yet whenever he tries to lower his head past your navel, you push him away. You try to distract your rejection with your kiss, rolling him over instead to take him entirely in your mouth.

It’s not that Sakusa is complaining; how could he when he’s pumping his dick into your silky throat, watching your saliva dribble past your chin as you choke on his length?

He forgets about your denial until his next attempt, when he’s nipping at the skin of your hips, moving his mouth to forge a wet trail that lead to the space between your legs, and yet again you pull him up from his spot, kissing him and grabbing him until he plunged himself inside of you instead.

As he collapses next to you in bed, wrapping his arms around you while you nuzzle your face into his chest, for the first time ever, he feels unsatisfied — as if he hadn’t done all that he could have.

He brings this issue up to you the next day, unabashedly asking why you wouldn’t let him kiss you.

“What do you mean, Omi?” You asked, confused. “We kiss all the time.”

“No, I mean,” he turns slightly red as he gestures to your crotch, “There.”

The flustered look on your face shouldn’t have made him hard, but it did. He liked the way you stuttered and widened your eyes, searching desperately for the right words to say.

“I dont know,” you answered finally, “I figured you thought that kind of stuff was gross.”

You cut the conversation off there, no longer wanting to speak on the subject, but it haunted Sakusa for the rest of the day.

Gross? Why would you think that of him? Don’t you know that he wants to claim ever single inch of your body, wants to dip his fingers into you and watch your eyes roll to the back of your head, wants you to sit on his face until he can’t breathe? Had he not been doing a good enough job showing you this?

Sakusa shakes his head, feeling disappointed in himself.

It’s alright. He’s got a plan.

Later that night, as he ran his hands along your waist, lightly dragging his nails across your stomach, he leaned down and whispered in your ear, “I want to try something new tonight.”

You didn’t even think about it as you nodded your head eagerly like he knew you would, gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes that screamed of lust.

He sits up, and you try to sit up with him but he just pushes you back down onto the mattress. You looked up at him curiously as he reaches down the side of the bed to where he placed a plastic bag with his earlier purchase.

Sakusa’s hand emerged holding a pair of silver handcuffs, and he smirks at the way your eyes gleamed with excitement.

“Hands up,” he commands, and you quickly obliged. He looped the handcuffs behind the bars of his headboard, cuffing one of your wrists on each side. He left it slightly loose so as not to injure your skin, but as you struggled against your bindings, Sakusa was pleased to find that it would be impossible for you to get out.

Your arms were outstretched above you, and Sakusa roves his hungry eyes over your dips and curves, so exposed and vulnerable to whatever he wanted to do.

But only one thing was on his mind.

He begins with a soft kiss placed in the crook of your neck, ghosting over your collarbones before leaving marks all across your chest. You fidgeted beneath him, and he placed two hands on your waist.

“Stay still,” he commanded, and you simply gulped.

Sakusa dips his head back down, supple lips enclosing around your hardened nipple, and you arched into his touch. You shiver when his teeth nips at you, while he brings his other hand to cup your other breast, fingers pinching and twisting the previously ignored bud until you were a whimpering mess.

He disconnects his mouth a loud pop, but it wasn’t long until he begins to drag his tongue across your stomach. His direction slowly moves further down, and he can feel you slightly tense up. He ignores the way you try to wiggle your body away from his ministrations; you have nowhere to go, and he has you right where he wants you.

Sakusa draws circles around your navel, his hands finally coming down to rest on your hips.

“Omi,” you say nervously, the handcuffs lightly clinking against the metal bars they were attached to, “I’m not sure if...”

Your words died on your tongue when Sakusa’s grip tightened on your hips, looking up at you through his lashes before darting his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Relax,” he cooed, “Be a good girl for me.”

You nearly choked, your throat feeling dry watching Sakusa move his hands down to your thighs, kissing his way down to uncharted territory. You felt uneasy, and nervous, unable to keep your insecurities at bay when you felt Sakusa lick at the junction of your thigh and pelvis. He was so close to you – what if he thought it was dirty? Or didn’t like your scent? You could feel the warmth of his tongue trace up your pussy lips, and it was involuntary the way you tried to kick him away.

Suddenly, you felt a hand grip you tightly behind your knees, forcefully pushing your legs apart and up against your chest. You gasped in surprise, face turning red at your position. You squirmed against Sakusa’s grip, but his hold on you was strong, and the silver cuffs around your wrist were doing their job well.

“I thought I said be a good girl?” Sakusa questioned, his expression stern while he had your legs pinned down. “Or am I going to have to punish you for being such a disobedient little slut?”

The butterflies in your stomach manifested themselves as the slick wetness between your legs, and Sakusa smirked at the starstruck look on your face.

“I’m a good girl,” you whispered, though the position you found yourself was anything but.

Sakusa responded by pushing your legs even wider, looking down to admire the view. He could feel the tip of his dick struggling against his boxers, a large wet spot on the material indicating just how much he wanted to wreck you. But that could wait.

You start to feel shy under his intense stare, trying not to wiggle away and get another reprimanding.

“Omi, what are you – ahh!”

Sakusa licks one long stroke up your slit, and you couldn’t stop your entire body from shivering. He could feel your legs tremble beneath his fingers, and who knew just one lick could already elicit such a reaction from you?

He moves one hand away from your leg, using two of his fingers to spread apart your folds. Like a man finding treasure, he plunges his tongue onto your swollen red clit, sucking and nipping at it gently before flattening his tongue, drawing patterns that made you feel like your entire body was on flames.

Your head was thrown back against the pillows, back arching as you struggled to catch your breath. Sakusa flicked his tongue against your pussy so expertly, alternating his speed and rhythm in a way that had your legs shaking violently.

“Ohh fuuuuckk,” you managed to groan out, gripping onto your bindings so tightly, your knuckles were turning white. The lewd sounds of him lapping at your clit could only be heard in between your gasping breaths.

Sakusa flicks his tongue up one last time before pulling away slightly, staring up to drink in your flushed expression. Your tongue was lolled out the side of your mouth, eyes rolled back and chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Your arms hung limp from its tether, and Sakusa can’t think of a prettier picture.

He looks down at your shining cunt, glistening and swollen and Sakusa didn’t think twice about slipping two fingers into your slopping entrance.

He hooks your leg over his shoulder, smiling as you thrashed helplessly, body reacting fiercely to the way he hooked his fingers and found your gspot with ease.

You squeezed your eyes shut, screams and moans filling the room, unable to adjust to the pleasure of Sakusa rhythm.

You could feel the heat pool into your stomach, tightening in a knot so fraught with tension, it was only seconds before you snapped.

Sakusa could feel the way you pretty little cunt began to tighten around his fingers, quickly slipping in a third one and burying them in deeper.

“Ki...kiyoomi.. I’m .. I’m gonna —“

Sakusa latches back onto your clit, flattening his tongue and sucking in rhythm to the way he pumped into you.

Your legs tightened around his head, but Sakusa didn’t stop. He could feel every tremble, every shake of your thigh against his cheeks, blocking out the sounds of the way you called out his name.

You bucked your hips up into his mouth, and he could feel you gush on his tongue. Sakusa lapped up every single drop, and you felt your body twitch as he continued to lick your sensitive clit. Finally, he surfaces from his meal, looking up at you with your sex dribbling down his chin. It was sinful the way he withdrew his fingers from your cunt and reached up to shove them in your mouth. You sucked on them eagerly, eliciting a smirk from the wavy haired man.

“You taste so fucking good, don’t you?”

Sakusa pulls away, standing up to get rid of his boxers before quickly returning to his spot on the bed.

Your arms were numb, and your legs felt weak, but Sakusa gave you no chance to recover from his previous performance, grabbing your ankles once more and pressing your legs down into a press.

“Such a good fucking little whore,” Sakusa murmurs in your ear, nearly crushing you in the process. “You just let me do whatever the fuck I want, don’t you?”

Without a warning, he slams into you in one hard thrust, the only retaliation coming from your mouth was a strangled groan.

“This pretty pussy is all mine,” Sakusa muttered, keeping your ankles steady by your ears, his cadence unforgiving, and unwavering.

“Omi.. I.. I can’t —!”

Sakusa responded by angling his hips to hit your sweet spot, reaching deeper than you thought possible.

“Yes, you fucking can.”

The crude sounds of his drive were only amplified by the way you gushed all over his dick, the mess you made staining the 400 thread count sheets he so carefully picked out for the both of you.

Sakusa wanted to hold out longer, he really did. But the way you looked under him right now, so fucked out and stupid, he couldn’t help but feel himself get closer and closer to his limit.

“Kiyoomi— please!! I can’t —“

In one swift movement, Sakusa pulls out, pumping his cock until he spilled hot white all over your stomach.

You hadn’t done anything but lay there — bound, at that — but you were desperately gasping for air, your heart beating so fast, you thought it would explode out of its cage.

Sakusa sits back on his heels, equally out of breath, his dick growing limp in his palm, though it still twitched at the sight of you covered all over his cum.

He leans over to give you a peck on the nose, leaving you to walk to his attached bathroom.

He returned a few seconds later with a warm towel, gently cleaning the mess he had made all over your stomach. You nearly fell asleep at his touch, only opening your eyes when he unlocked the cuffs around your wrists.

Your arms fell back down limp, and Sakusa chuckled, kissing the red marks left by the cold silver metal.

“I’m sorry for this,” he mumbled against your skin.

You smiled at him lazily, bringing a hand to tuck a loose strand of wavy hair behind his ear.

“Don’t be sorry.”

He smiled once more before planting a soft kiss on your lips. He settles into the empty space next to you, pulling you on to his lap. You laid your head on his shoulder, and your hand settled on top of his chest, sketching soft circles with the pad of our fingers. He rested his cheek on top of your head, while he supported your back and held your thigh.

“Did you… like that?” He asked quietly, his deep voice disturbing the calm that had nearly engulfed you.

You felt your face heat up, burying further into his chest. He chuckled lowly, holding you tightly and placing a kiss on your temple.

“I did… d-did you?”

Sakusa brings his hand up to your chin, tilting it upwards until you were facing him.

“I loved it.”

He leaned down to place a gentle kiss, filled with all the tender love and care he never gets to say.

Suddenly, He pulls away.

“Hey, what are you—“

He slid his hands beneath the back of your knees, picking you up bridal style in one easy movement. He turned around and made his way back to the bathroom.

“Come on, let’s take a bath first.”

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misnomera · 4 years ago

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On racial stereotyping of the Haans in TMA...

Right so as someone who is ethnically Chinese I have NO FUCKING clue how I didn’t notice this more distinctly in my initial binge of tma (going too fast and not paying closer attention to character names and descriptions, probably) but the Haan family storyline is, all horror elements aside, pretty fucked up in terms of racial representation re: stereotyping. This got long as hell, but please please please take a moment to read through if you’ve got time for it. thanks.

To start off, the Haans are one of the few characters in tma with an explicitly specified race and ethnicity—Chinese—and pretty much the only explicitly Chinese characters in tma, other than the mostly unimportant librarian (Zhang Xiaoling) from Beijing. But like, Haan isn’t even a properly Chinese surname, at least not in the way that it’s spelled in canon (it should be Han, one a. A quick google search tells me that Haan as a surname has...Dutch origins??).

Of course, that could be chalked up to shoddy anglicization processes within family histories, which certainly isn’t uncommon with immigrant families, so I’m not going to dwell on names too much (although I also find it interesting that John Haan’s name is so specifically and weirdly anglicized that he changed his own surname?? Hun Yung to John Haan is a very big leap of a name change and frankly not very believable. ANYWAY, this is not that important. I don’t expect Jonny, a white Englishman, to come up with perfectly unquestionable non-Cho-Chang-like Chinese names, though it certainly would be nice. Moving on).

What really bothers me about the Haans is how they almost exclusively and explicitly play into negative Chinese immigrant stereotypes. I don’t even feel like I need to say it because it’s like...it’s literally Right There, folks. John Haan (in ep 72) owns and operates a sketchy takeout restaurant. They’re all avatars of the Flesh—and John Haan is Specifically horrific and terrifying because he cooked his wife’s human meat and fed it to his unknowing customers. Does that remind you of any stereotypes which accuse Chinese people of consuming societally unacceptable and ethically questionable things like dog/cat/bat meat (which, if it’s not already crystal fucking clear, we don’t. do that.), which in turn characterize us as horrible unfeeling monsters? John Haan’s characterization feeds (haha, badum tss) directly into this harmful stereotype that have caused very real pain for Chinese people and East Asians in general.

And Jonny does nothing to address that from within his writing (and not out of it either). And, speaking on a more meta level, Jonny could’ve easily had these flesh avatars be individuals of any race (like, what’s Jared Hopworth’s ethnicity? Do we know? No? Well then). Conversely, he could’ve easily, easily had a Chinese person be an avatar of any other entity. So why did he have to chose specifically the Flesh?

(This is a rhetorical question. You know why. Racial stereotyping and invoking a fear of the other in an attempt to enhance horror, babey~)

On Tom Haan’s side, Jonny seems weirdly intent on having other characters repeatedly comment on his accent (or rather, lack thereof) in relation to his race. Think about how, in ep 30 (killing floor), the fact that Tom Haan had spoken a line to the statement giver in “perfect English” was an emphasized beat in that statement, and a beat that was supposed to be “chilling” and meant to signify to us that something was, quote-unquote, “not right” with Tom Haan. Implicitly, that’s saying that it was unexpected, not “normal”, and in this case even eerie, for someone who looks Chinese to have spoken in fluid, unbroken English. Mind you, the line itself was perfectly scary on its own (“you cannot stop the slaughter by closing the door”), so why did Jonny feel the need to note the accent in which it was spoken in? Why did Jonny HAVE to have that statement giver note, that he initially “wasn’t even sure how much English [Haan] spoke”?

This happens again in episode 72 with a Chinese man (and again, his ethnicity is Explicitly Noted) who we assume is also Tom Haan. This one is rather ironically funny and kind of painfully self aware, because the statement giver expresses surprise at Haan’s “crisp RP accent” and then immediately “felt bad about making the assumption that he couldn’t speak English,” and subsequently admitted that thought was “low-key racist.” Like, from a writing perspective, this entire passage is roundabout, pointless, and says absolutely nothing helpful to enhance the horror genre experience for listeners (instead it just sounded like some sort of half-assed excuse so Jonny or other listeners could say “look! We’ve addressed the racism!” You didn’t. It just made me vaguely uncomfortable). And again, having other people comment on our accents/lack thereof while assuming we are foreign is a Very Real microaggression that east asians face on the daily. If Jonny needed some filler sentences for pacing he could’ve written about Literally anything else. So why point out, yet again, that the crazy murderous man was foreign and Chinese?

At this point, you might say, right, but yknow, it was just that the statement givers were kind of racist! It happens! Yeah sure, ok, that’s a passable in-universe explanation for descriptions of Tom Haan (though not John Haan, mind you), but the statement givers are fake made up people, and statement’s still written by Jonny, who absolutely has all the power to write overt discrimination out of his stories. And he does! Think about just how many minor (and major!!) characters are so, so carefully written as completely aracial, and do not have their ethnicity implicated at all in whatever horrors they may or may not be committing. Think about how many lgbtq+ characters have given statements, and have been in statements, without having faced direct forms of discrimination, or portrayed as embodying blatant stereotypes in their stories (though lgbtq+ rep in tma certainly has their own issues that I won’t go into here). Jonny can clearly write characters this way, and he can do it well. So why, why, am I being constantly, repeatedly reminded in-text of the fact that the Haans are East Asian, that they’re from China, that they’re Chinese immigrants, that they’re second-generation British Chinese or whatever the fuck, and that they’re also horrifying conduits for blood, gore, and general fucked-up-ness? It’s absolutely not something that is Needed for the stories to be an effective piece of horror; the only thing it does is perpetuate incredibly harmful and hurtful stereotypes.

And listen, I love tma to bits. It’s taken over my blog. I’ve really loved my interactions with the fandom. And I am consistently blown away by Jonny’s writing and how well he’s able to weave foreshadowing and plot into an incredibly complex collection of stories. But I absolutely Cannot stop thinking about the Haans because it’s just. It’s such a blatant display of racial stereotyping in writing. And I’ve certainly seen a few voices talking about it here and there, and I don’t know if I’m just not looking in the right places, but it certainly feels like something that is just straight up not on the radar for a lot of tma fans. And I’m disappointed about that.

Just, I don’t know. Take a look at those episodes again and do some of your own thinking about why these characters had to be specifically Chinese (answer: they didn’t.). And in general, PLEASE for the love of god turn a critical eye on character portrayals and descriptions whenever they are assigned specific races/ethnicities (Some examples that come to mind are Jude Perry, Annabelle Cane, and Diego Molina), because similar issues, to an extent, extend beyond the Haans, though I haven’t covered them here.

You shouldn’t need a POC to do point out these problems for you when they’re so glaringly There. But for those of you who really didn’t know, hope this was informative in some way. I’m tired, man. If some of the only significant Chinese characters you write are violent cannibalistic men with a perverted relationship with meat, just don’t do it. Please don’t do it.

EDIT: Since the making of this post Jonny has acknowledged and apologized for these portrayals on his twitter and in the Rusty Quill Operations Update, which went up September 2020. A long time coming, but better late than never. This of course doesn’t necessarily negate the harm done by Jonny’s writing, and doesn’t make me much less angry about it, but is appreciated nonetheless. For more on this topic there’s a lot of productive discussions happening in my “#tma crit” tag and in the notes of this post

#tma #the magnus archives #magnuspod #tma 30 #tma 72 #tma crit #racism #sinophobia #racist stereotyping #tw cannibalism #tw violence #long post #tom haan #john haan

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