#it normally takes a lot out of me to commit to daily posts like this but like

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 21

family bonding moment

Not technically requested but there were a few people who asked for it a couple days after I finished it :)

[cazshmere]

Synastry Observations Pt. 3 🌊

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

🐚 in my opinion, moon opposite mars synastry can be SO MUCH better than moon conjuct mars. with moon conjunct mars, the energy gets WAY too intense (sexual energy or just the normal vibe between the two) and to some extent it is exciting and when it’s good it’s REALLY good but when its bad its EXPLOSIVE. whereas the opposition offers a more balanced approach to the relationship. It’s not ON THE FACE typa energy but rather HMMM there’s something interesting about you and i NEED to know you🤨😋

🐚 i mentioned in my favorite synastry placement post, how I loved mars in the 1st house synastry and I TAKE IT BACK lmao😭😂. This synastry is sooo triggering for no reason, mars person and house person CANNOT help but argue or fight for the silliest things. A lot of heated arguments and with 1st house synastry these arguments could happen in public too💀 and everyone else around is like “omg y’all fr need to chill ✋🏽😐”. Very intense energy again

🐚 6th house synastry IS SO CUTE. you KNOW you can surely rely on people you share this synastry with (especially sun, moon and venus). it’s the “let me help you out with that” or “do you wanna go to the gym together?” or “omg let’s go and check out the new air fryer they’re selling”😭🫶🏻. you literally don’t need a special occasion or outing just to have fun with them. doing mundane tasks can also seem so exciting and refreshing if it’s with them🥺

🐚 (18+) mars/venus/pluto in the 6th house synastry could indicate that y’all NEED to do the deed daily 😭

🐚 another SUPER underrated synastry placement is moon - uranus synastry (trine, sextile and conjunction to some extent). this is the typa synastry where you can say the most random shit and the other person is like “omg fr i totally agree” and then y’all start laughing at something silly 😭, it’s SO CUTE

🐚 lilith square venus synastry is confusing ngl, it has a very push and pull type of energy, especially from the lilith person’s side. It’s like the lilith person wants the venus person BUT they also don’t want the venus person to know that they want them yk😭💀?? lilith person wants the control and letting the venus person know they might be interested in them is potentially the lilith person letting their guard down and not having the entire control to themselves so they altogether avoid fully committing and just want to keep the venus person guessing 😐

🐚 mars - saturn synastry has some WEIRD sexual tension to it. it’s like y’all both know you want it so bad but there’s something stopping you from acting on it😭, delayed gratification i suppose?😌

🐚 venus conjunct ascendant does not guarantee that both the parties will fall head over heels for each other. mostly the ascendant person ends up catching feelings QUICK and the venus person could just find the ascendant person attractive and not anything more than than. in any case the house person is the one who falls hard for the venus person (most of the scenarios I’ve seen irl, played out this way). but nonetheless both find each other EXTREMELY attractive FOR SURE ❤️‍🔥

🐚 sun in the 11th house synastry 🤝🏻 ALWAYS HAVING FUN TOGETHER no matter what😋

🐚 when earth house (2nd, 6th, and 10th) synastry is involved, you'll most definitely care about making a good impression and will think carefully before speaking or acting because you don’t want the other person to think badly of you 🍀

🐚 conversely with fire house (1st, 5th,9th) synastry you don’t really care AS much and are easily able to express your feelings more openly without the fear of judgment 🤪

🐚 water house (4th, 8th, and 12th) synastry is like a blend of both earth and fire house synastry. you do care about what the other person thinks of you, but not so much that you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. at first, you might be cautious about sharing your feelings, but then you realize how much the other person just gets you, and eventually, you bond over some extremely random yet specific situations you've both experienced 😭

🐚 water house synastry culture can literally be crying together and comforting each other during and after🥺

🐚 honestly gemini placements are such LOYAL and loving partners and are wholeheartedly committed when they are in a relationship, i hate when i read posts that say “gemini placements are cheaters/ afraid of commitment” blah blah, have you ever seen a gemini placement in love? literally the most devoted and supportive lovers fr🫶🏻

banner/pic credits to the rightful owners

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[breadvidence]

TL;DR: 2.8.9 and 1.2.7 are mirrors, and Valjean's fatal moral fault in the back half of the novel can be found in 2.8.9.

On today's fumbling-around thought menu: that in fanfic (and some pro adaptations), Valjean's final moral arc is the need to make amends with Cosette via confession, but that's—not quite right, or you can read it different. It's reasonable to take that route: allowing her to live in ignorance is a wrong, even if it's driven by love (I see it as a problem both on the practical front—it puts her in danger should he be found out—and more broadly as an example of the right a person has to a loved one's otherwise private history where it overlaps so profoundly with their own, and where failing to confide marks a failure of intimacy). It's, from what I've seen, often what a modern reader most strongly holds against him.

The feeling that this is an essential progress is something you can see in the fact that fanfic which otherwise does not care about Cosette as a character will include a confession. See also the musical, which looked at "white jet comes from Norway, black jet comes from England", went "absolutely not", or I think it's '98 which simply has Cosette be in the know already (I personally read that as the script writer/whoever going "Hm, this feels regressive and anti-feminist, I don't think modern audiences will like that as an aspect of the protag.")

All of which is me getting a little distracted: I don't know that this is a prime moral fault in the novel, which isn't a new thought! But I'm dwelling on the places where Valjean goes wrong, and while the fact that his entire emotional and daily life revolves around Cosette means they unavoidably circle around her, it's not about her, quite, narratively. I think—to try to be pithy—it's the choice of suffering for suffering, suffering for self-hate, and self-satisfaction in suffering (with a side helping of being too alike his foil Javert in perceiving the world as dichotomous—which is a different post). Several people have identified the genesis of the outward behavior (no fire, black bread) as being in the convent, and I think that's accurate—that he learns a lot about how to suffer, there. Let me walk through what I'm looking at:

What's one of the first things we learn about Valjean's character? He thinks and he fucking commits. It's what 1.2.7 is about. We are told "His deliberate deeds passed through three successive phases, which natures of a certain stamp can alone traverse,—reasoning, will, perseverance." If his thoughts and commitments in this scene are to a condemnation of society from which he's diverted by Myriel, the nature remains.

In Montreuil, he's being excessive but normal-ish, he minds his own comfort and safety and security, he's trying to find God through a kind of strange impersonal agape, literal charity as sacrifice without love, maybe because that's what he thought Myriel was doing when he bought his soul. (All of which he sacrifices—still impersonal—for Justice, and is fucked again by Law. By which I don't mean Javert literally, even if Javert thinks about wielding his "sword" during the arrest.)

In 2.4.3, there's a passing warning—"The best of us are not exempt from egotistical thoughts". Gorbeau is, for a breath, a kind of Eden, but egotism and pride are topics that Hugo circles with Valjean.

It all breaks right open at the convent, 2.8.9: it's a mirror of 1.2.7: in the galley we see "during the hours of repose, which were for Jean Valjean hours of reverie, this gloomy galley-slave, seated with folded arms upon the bar of some capstan" and in the convent he "crossed his arms and leaned on his hoe, and slowly descended the endless spirals of reverie". Jean Valjean, presented with and mulling over a great deal of truth, comes to a fucked-up conclusion.

In the narrator's voice—and I don't think I agree with everything Hugo's dishing out, here, anymore than I'm comfortable with him and the convent overall, but I do think it's pointing towards what's meant to be read as a genuine judgment—we're told that the convent contributes to Valjean's uprightness and that it "stopped him on that downward path" to pride—that "for some time past he had been comparing himself to men in general, and pride was beginning to spring up. Who knows? He might have ended by returning very gradually to hatred." In Gorbeau 2.4.3 we are told that he had "viewed the malice of men and the misery of society under a new aspect—incomplete aspects, which unfortunately only exhibited one side of the truth, the fate of woman as summed up in Fantine, and public authority as personified in Javert" and that in prison "disgust and lassitude were overpowering him", and I always took this bit in 2.8.9 to refer specifically to his perception of Fantine's suffering and death and the consequences of his intervention for Champmathieu—but now I wonder if it applies to his Montreuil-sur-Mer era as a whole, this approach to the "bridge built by the devil". To which—well, yeah, the convent does turn him from that set of sins, doesn't it? The flaw of charity without love and its longterm consequence. (I think of 1.1.4 and M. Géborand, who was "purchasing paradise for a sou.” The amount does not change the principle.)

Then, in 2.8.9, the narrator tells us "Here all personal theory is withheld; we are only the narrator; we place ourselves at Jean Valjean’s point of view, and we translate his impressions." By which I assume that when Valjean comes to conclusions about the nuns—when we're told "he did not understand that of these last, that of creatures without reproach and without stain, and he trembled as he asked himself: The expiation of what? What expiation?"—he's very wrong. Catastrophically. In Montreuil-sur-Mer, he tried to forge a relationship with God, having begun by kneeling to the Bishop; now "it seemed as though he dared not kneel directly before God", out of what he identifies as "humility", and I—rather think not. We're often told characters don't quite understand something, that they see only partial views, and I think in the line "before his eyes he had the sublime summit of abnegation, the highest possible pitch of virtue", his eyes are key, and playing himself against that view does him wrong.

In "When he thought on these things, all that was within him was lost in amazement before this mystery of sublimity" the lost is key, and I see a soft echo of Javert's relationship to the sublime—Valjean responds to his incomprehension of it with "amazement" and thought, where Javert finds it "odious" and meaningless, but all the same neither can comprehend it, and Javert is very much not a foil you wanna be in harmony with.

The fruit of this is, in part, is Cosette's suffering: secondhand through witnessing a loved one torment himself, firsthand in how she then develops maladaptive and harmful ideas about love and trust, finally in her grief for the premature loss of her father.

The fruit that, alas, I think the narrative finds more rotten?

Bless him, it's 5.7.1. The crime he commits against himself when he becomes Javert and seizes his own collar. The reasoning behind his suicide. In the nuns he saw "servitude submitted to, torture accepted, punishment claimed by souls which have not sinned" (2.8.9) and in 5.7.1, he says "It is better to suffer, to bleed, to weep, to tear one’s skin from the flesh with one’s nails, to pass nights writhing in anguish, to devour oneself body and soul"—because if the innocent accept torture, what must the guilty do? If to suffer is itself sublime, what is it to suffer for a cause? Even a wretch might be sublime then, eh? As an aside, he's shaming himself by comparison to women whose entire purpose is expiating the sins of the guilty. Which is rude as fuck, and, I think: a matter of pride, in the end.

You could read the wrong, here, as "he's confessing to the wrong person", and that's fair; you could say that truth itself is not wrong, and there's righteousness in confession; maybe there's good bound up in the bad, but I think the motivation here is perverted, as if the "vague, incessant, and brutal desire to do harm to some living being" (1.2.7) that Valjean escaped via Myriel has caught him at last, and become self-directed.

He's an ass for the fact that even while he returns to the topic of Cosette's wellbeing throughout his confession, he evidently didn't think of this as being a discussion that would reach her—"Cosette! oh yes, it is true, you are going to tell Cosette about this", um, yes?—but I don't think at all the novel is as concerned about it. Were his last confession to be his life story rather than his business interests, that doesn't fix his error, his sin, his dysfunction, his unwellness, whatever you want to label it as. Choosing to live might've done, and he almost manages that—he does persist in seeing Cosette, for all he perceives that as weakness, he even begins to spend more time with her until Marius forces him out. The loving aspect might've won out over the dichotomy-bound drama queen.

Or maybe not IDK. Re-reading 5.7.1 always makes me want to cry about the old man, though. What a pitiful frustrating character.

(As an aside, I'd note that the moral failure of his suicide [which is not to say suicides are moral failures in and of themselves! narratively speaking] is contrasted against his moral success in choosing not to control Cosette as expressed by overcoming his hatred for Marius. I think LM2000 and BBC2018 are real interesting to watch with this in mind: to see how the story feels when he only hurdles being a Bluebeard because the creators are hitting the plot-beats of an original text rather than because the story justifies it.)

[dailyrmdoodle]

Okay it's about time I made a masterpost!!

Hello!! My name's Leo, I use He/Him pronouns, I like, run this account or something? And there's a good chance you're looking for info on it! Soooo-

First things first, some things you might know me by!

This account, obviously

My main, @leounderseas, where I post more cookie-unrelated stuff!

My instagram

My tiktok (currently inactive)

You don't know me from twitter because I don't use that!!! Twitter is banned in my country, so I do not have a twitter account.

Also some artworks you might recognize!!

Now that introductions are out of the way, here's some more info on me and this account specifically! This a daily doodle account for Royal Margarine Cookie from Cookie Run Kingdom! I am very normal about him. That's pretty much all I post about here, though other cookie related things do pop in every once in awhile!

This account was meant to be daily, but I am still finishing up highschool, and it's been very stressfull, so sadly I don't have the time to actually make that work. The plan is still to post a doodle daily! But maybe I'll only be able to do that once I finish up with school, sadly.

I have two main hashtags in here!

#my art and my stuffff, for any art or similar things I end up making and posting! If you're expecting a daily doodle and haven't seen it, or just wanna browse, you might wanna check the hashtag :)

#questions and rambling and stuff, for askbox questions that I answered or just general rambling about characters or any other topic! If you're interested about my insight on things (or my analysis of a certain cookie, whom this account happens to be about....) it'll be there!

My askbox is open, and anonymous is an option! Feel comfortable to ask me questions, don't be shy! Just, yknow, be civilized? And not mean? Or any kind of -phobic or -ist or anything like that

Projects I currently have in the works are:

My marge shimeji! It is still in production sadly because I haven't had the time to work on it.... but I plan on finishing it and making it downloadable for anybody who wants it once it's done!!

Another related thing is my character playlists! I make those for fun in my freetime :) I have a lot of them, and some of them are longer than others because I am obviously biased (staareeess....) but I still enjoy all of them! Here are the links if anybody is interested!

Royal Margarine Cookie playlist (longest by VEEERY FAR. You need commitment to finish this one. Also lowkey suggestive. Tread carefully.)

Black Pearl Cookie playlist (Second favorite! Nowhere near as long but still very dear to me :])

Butter Roll Cookie playlist

Matcha Cookie playlist (Third favorite,,,,,, ouuugh blorbo....)

Pure Vanilla Cookie playlist (Has purelily undertones fyi, i like purelily)

White Lily Cookie playlist (Fourth favorite, SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FOR REAAAALLL,,,,,)

Golden Cheese Cookie playlist (Fifth favorite! Not really that long, but pleeeaasee recommend me songs for it)

Shadow Milk Cookie playlist

Black Lemonade Cookie playlist (very unfinished...)

Shining Glitter Cookie playlist (very unfinished....)

Snapdragon Cookie playlist (very unfinished, IM SO SORRY BABYYYY,,,,)

I also have non cookie playlists! Though they are few

Furina de Fontaine (Genshin Impact) playlist (Second longest playlist I have. I LOVE HER SO MUUUUCHHH YOU GUYS DONT GET ITTT)

Kieran (Pokemon Scarlet & Violet DLC) playlist (This kid is ill and I care him)

To finalize, I don't take comissions right now, but I do take requests in my askbox! Depending on the request ofc. I plan on taking comissions someday, but that'll probably have to wait until I finish highschool next year! And with all that said.... You're caught up!!! *confetti falls Have any questions? Lmk!! I'll answer them! Have a good day :]

[nerdieforpedro]

Don't assume on Valentine's Day

Ezra x plus size female reader (Angel)

This post and blog is 18+ MDNI

Word Count: just under 1.7k

Summary: A relationship with Ezra can be a wonderfully frustrating thing.

Warnings: Ezra is his own warning, HANDS, illusion to smut (I think it is, it's a lot less - descriptive then I normally am), angst, chocolate (been a while since Nerdie had some food in here), fluff

Notes: Ezra has been rolling around in my WIPs for months. Don't know what to do with the man, there might be brain rot starting to form. Finally, I feel like I write him well enough in a different WIP to try my hand at a one-shot. He led me to Valentine's Day and we're here. It's my first time posting something I've written with him so... 👀 Who knows? Dividers are by @saradika-graphics 🥰 They're very cute!

Main Masterlist / Ezra Masterlist

“My glorious cinnamon angel, that I should partake of your bounty daily is a miracle that I shall not waste a single solitary moment of.”

“I was Nutmeg the other day, I’m not sure how I changed spices.”

“It would be wise to accept what someone tells you the first time.”

“I’m pretty sure you told me you weren’t a good man when we met and that if my recollection serves me,” Familiar scruff grazes your cheek from behind as arms wrap around your soft frame. You were purposely trying to imitate his drawl and doing a poor job of it. His chuckles tickled your neck, “I shall at most my dear woman, tell you two lies and one truth. For it's easiest to remember your lies if there’s a sprinkle of fact on top.” He leans back, not releasing you, but making room for his forehead to be pressed between your shoulder blades as his chuckle turns into booming laughter that can be felt down your spine.

“Is that what you believe me to sound like? I’m appalled.” Ezra lifts his head so his face lands squarely into your soft tresses, you wore your familiar ponytail and placed a kiss to the back of your neck before moving to your side, “I’ll need to further educate you with my musings and prose.” Laying your head on his shoulder, that’s something you’ve always wanted from him these past few months. More of the man named Ezra.

He’d told you he was not a good man, a ‘reprobate and a scamp.’ It was in a bar. One friend had left early because their kid decided it was a great night to ride with friends on motorized scooters when someone was injured. The other friend has captured her mark and gave you the text of her location and that she was heading out. Your last drink of the night that you had settled on a mai tai, though you’d found that it was paid for by a man making his way over to you. He was tall, had a striking nose, a red leather jacket and a grin that exudes confidence. He leans on the bar next to you, grinning wider when you sip the mai tai he’s paid for.

“Good evening my dear, may I take the seat next to you?” You tell him yes and he sits, eyes still trained on you. You shift on your stool under his focus gaze, you’re used to more glassy eyed stares that wander away. You tell him your name and he repeats it three times, committing it to memory, it makes sense because now you know he only calls you by name if there’s an issue to be had. Otherwise, Ezra is an avid lover of terms of endearment. The night continues as you two make small talk and you’ve long finished your drink. 

The noise in the bar is starting to die down the later it gets and that’s when he says it, what gets his hooks into you, “My bountiful Angel, I am a reprobate scamp of a man. It would be wise to get yourself home, however,” his large hand, one of the two that bring you as much ecstasy as they do longing, slides from your thigh where it had been sitting the majority of your conversation and you had not moved it, over to the small of your back. “I would be doing a disservice to myself and you if I did not offer to sully your beauty just a bit.” You’ve turned to look at him, your eyes heavy with desire. That was well before he even proposed the idea. Your breath hitches as he kisses your shoulder and has his face a few inches from yours. “With efforts made on both our parts, I may become a better man for the night and you may find the indulgence to be quite gratifying.” Grabbing the collar of his jacket, you smack your lips into his, hungry for him and he smiles into the kiss. You’re aware he’s captured you and you’re fine with it, taking him to your apartment and peeling each other's clothes off.

Ezra’s hands roamed your body and he spoke nearly the entire time, but you’re not only enamored with him but his voice. It reminds you of honey bourbon, with plenty of kick but dashes of sweetness as he makes you moan, cry and peak repeatedly. He’s tried you out in several different positions, curious to see how he could manipulate your body. Hands traced your numerous curves, folds, and rolls, his experimentation of what was possible to do with you continued. You’re certain that in addition to the sweat, saliva and production of both of your bodies revelry were tears and not just your own. The loquacious reprobate had moments of tenderness in between the bites, bruising and stretching, it would be that was the mention of truth. 

For a night and in a twisted fashion, he did become a better man with you under, over and beside him. 

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, maybe after the fourth or fifth time, but you didn’t see him when you woke up. It was a shame, you at least wanted to tell him goodbye, maybe had the chance to ask if he could come by again. To your surprise, he made coffee and was complaining about the lack of a newspaper and items to make pancakes. Ezra does comment that your coffee is decent though. It set the stage for your relationship with him now that he didn’t just leave that morning.

Nothing is defined. No labels are used outside of different names you call each other lovingly. He had a key to your apartment two months after your first night. It’s been about six months now and you’ve wanted to ask what you are to him, if there are others because there’s no one else for you. Ezra, despite his mysteries and supposed ‘scamp’ status, has been nothing but kind to you when you’re with him. He makes you feel seen and heard, his often dramatic use of language not hiding his affection for you. Is that all you two have? Just an affection toward each other and an affinity for how your bodies connect?

Pondering this while sitting on your couch, it made you think of a conversation you’d had with him about a month ago when he began giving you money on a bi-weekly basis. You assume that however he makes money, you hadn’t asked and it’s either something he’s not proud of, or something he can’t tell you. 

“You don’t have to give me anything Ezra honey. I’m just happy you’re here.”

“I’m well aware you have not asked Angel, that’s why I am offering it to you. I may be a man of little honor but the amount of time I spend here warrants such a gift.”

“We don’t do gifts. I thought we agreed on that. We’re both miserly.” Your light giggle warrants a small chuckle from Ezra.

“Your presence is a gift to me just like every interaction. Don’t argue with me.” He states your name softly. It’s a gentle warning to not refuse him. You nod, kiss him and quickly embrace him. His words had a profound effect on you as they often did. His large hands rubbed your back, arms around you as well.

Ezra has decided to stop by on Valentine’s Day. You two have never discussed it and from your understanding, he likely wouldn’t be interested. Neither would you. It would be just another day, had he not just walked through the door with small bags with hearts on them. The surprise on your face is obvious as he sets them down on your coffee table after removing his boots. 

“Now before conclusions are drawn, they were buy one, get one half off.”

“Why did you think to buy the first one?”

“I wanted to bring you something sweet. Is that not what this day is for?”

“It is, but we’ve never talked about it. I assumed you wouldn’t be interested.”

“Your assumptions are not unfounded. It was you Angel so, I felt I should get something.”

“Thank you. I love the milk chocolate truffles. Ezra, you’re…too good to me.”

He sits down next to you on the couch with a quizzical look, his hand finding a place on your knee, “That my dear Angel I doubt. Why do you think so?”

“It’s…just a fleeting thought. Pay it no mind.” You grab one of the bags and take one of the chocolates, popping it out of its wrapper and into your mouth. The smooth cascade of chocolate hits your tongue and has you moan. Normally Ezra would make a comment about that, but he’s focused again as he periodically has needed to. He’s sure he knows why you’re having such a thought and for all his words, he hadn’t told you what he’d felt when you gave him your key. Your name drops from his lips slowly and your eyes fix on his. Where is this warning coming from?

“Listen. No matter this blasted holiday or any other day, I need you my dearest sweet Angel. In my life and at my side. My delay in telling you this has caused you some undue anguish. Parish those ideas. You are the only one who’s bed I will warm and who I would even consider engaging in this farce of a celebration with. I would have hoped you knew but some things are better said and done.” A tender kiss to your forehead as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs, he then rubbed his nose against yours that had your smile come back.

“This Valentine’s day was the best one yet. Thank you Ezra, for everything. I’m happy to know some of my assumptions were correct.”

“There’s few things that you do that are not correct my bountiful Angel. There may be some merits to this holiday. We’ll need to celebrate again next year to be fully sure.”

The "I'll allow V-day for the fics we'll get" crowd ❤️: @maggiemayhemnj @pedroshotwifey @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @magpiepills @sp00kymulderr @trulybetty @lady-bess @readingiskeepingmegoing @avastrasposts @legendary-pink-dot @goodwithcheese @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @secretelephanttattoo @rhoorl @for-a-longlongtime @i-own-loki @grogusmum @inept-the-magnificent @missladym1981 @katw474 @soft-girl-musings @alltheglitterandtheroar @atinylittlepain @tinytinymenace @clawdee @javierpena-inatacvest @daddy-dins-girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @gasolinerainbowpuddles @agentjackdaniels

[dangerous-disposition]

Gerry's WIP Wedneseekend!

This was hugely helpful for me last week in just getting Words Down for the strap!verse which has now become an actual fic rather than a series of smutty one-shots oops so now I'm gonna do this to focus on my fics for Lex's Summer Challenge!

DISCLAIMER: I am only calling it WIP Wedneseekend because it stresses me out to "limit" myself to one day and I think it's fun!! Please do not feel like you also have to do a whole thing too if you're tagged or see this.

The Rules

I post the two prompts I claimed as a poll

Y'all vote in the poll and send me asks requesting a snippet of the fic of your choice

For every vote a fic receives, I will commit to writing 100 words on that fic. For every ask I receive, I will commit to writing an additional 100 words. (So if one gets 10 votes, and 5 asks, that's 1500 words)

At the end of the weekend, I will have completed fics to prepare for posting by the end of the month!

I will post a snippet of what I wrote and tag everyone who requested a snippet!

The Snippet - "Can I braid your hair?"

“Can I braid your hair?” Eddie blinked over at Steve, eyebrows high on his sweaty forehead while he held his hair up off the back of his neck. He could swear he felt heat pouring out of his head. Summer had descended on Hawkins with a vengeance, as if in retaliation for the brief handful of weeks in the Spring when the portals to a frigid hell dimension opened up and attempted to take over their world. Granted, summers in Hawkins tended to be hotter than Satan’s taint, especially around Independence Day, but Eddie figured he was allowed to be noisy and bitchy about it if he wanted. He almost died—first at the hands of a town full of angry, scared hicks, then by a swarm of demobats—and this was his first summer officially free of Hawkins High, the other frigid hell dimension in that shitty town. If Eddie had to spend the summer in the sweaty armpit of America because of dumb bullshit like “recovery” and “physical therapy” and “being under observation,” he was going to bitch and moan and throw all the tantrums he wanted. It helped that all the stupid bullshit (like recovery, and physical therapy, and being under observation) meant that Eddie got to spend a lot of time with Steve outside of the apocalypse. They were both lucky enough to be Under Observation together, courtesy of both of them being the favoured chew toys for the demobats. From there, Steve just started staying close to Eddie, taking him to and from physical therapy, helping him with his exercises at home, coming over when Eddie was in too much pain to get up to use the bathroom, let alone get up and locate painkillers and take them. It had been a while since Steve had to help him on a particularly bad pain day, at least one that extreme, but Steve still came over almost daily. Usually, they would just hang out and eat junk food, smoke a bit of pot sometimes, usually watch whatever movie Steve brought over from work. Sometimes, Steve would suggest they go for a drive and they would just do that, make like they would leave completely. “We could get out of here, never look back.” Worded like a comment, spoken like an oath. “You wanna run away with me, Stevie?” Tone teasing but lined with a hollow desperation. The air in the Beemer would change the moment that question fell from Eddie’s lips, the way Steve’s arms flexed as he squeezed the steering wheel captivating. Most of the time, Eddie doesn’t hear an answer from Steve, other times he hears a quiet but teasing, “Of course, Eds.”

The (no pressure) Tags

These are mostly just so people can vote if they want ;p

@scarcrossdlvrs @patchworkgargoyle @stobinesque @inairbinad @legitcookie @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero @yournowheregirl @judasofsuburbia @wynnyfryd @steddieas-shegoes @pizzaqueen @starryeyedjanai @starrystevie @scoops-stevie @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @xenon-demon

[beesmygod]

do you mind talking about what made effexor so bad for you? also where can I read about this streamer fake death lol

all the stuff on thedarkid is on SA in the sagas thread lol. i would prefer not to post a link bc the quality of new posters is at an all time low on that website and i dont want to contribute to the problem.

AS FOR EFFEXOR: i am prefacing this with the fact that this is my personal experience as a result of my body chemistry. effexor might work for some people with different body chemistry. my suggestion would be to try everything else first before resorting to this one and to be ready to feel really, really bad when discontinuing it.

i got off effexor because the negatives of taking it finally outweighed the positives and the problem i had been taking it for was no longer relevant. this will make me sound ridiculous so keep in mind i took crazy meds for this exact problem, but after we bought and moved into the house, i started having nightly panic attacks and weeping fits over both the decadence of my new non-renter lifestyle (which was materially going to impact the quality of my work and how i viewed reality) and the fact that i had taken a really big step toward commitment without having resolved the source of my deep social anxiety. i could realize how i was behaving and reacting was not normal and until i could get a therapist to address it, i was going to have to put a bandaid on it.

effexor flattened my emotions and my affect lol. this is really, really good for when you cannot reach a baseline of normality. this became bad when that flatness turned into apathy and started sliding into my day to day life. doing basic household chores became a daily struggle. then i started not making my deadlines on time because i completely lost the will to draw, which actively began to terrify me. and then once i started struggling to bathe and brush my teeth i was like "okay. something is really really wrong". so then i started the process of getting off.

that's the broad overview. i did not realize the extent of the damage it was causing me until i started getting it out of my system:

my sleep schedule was destroyed bc it gave me terrible insomnia.

night sweats. NIGHT SWEATS.

theres been a rash on my face for over a year that ive thrown EVERYTHING at to try to get rid of, thinking it was anything from lupus to a yeast infection. it turns out its just caused by the pill. it goes away when theres less in my system o_o

my lip was also split for a year. my gums were covered in sores. and the inside of my nose felt like someone put a weed whacker in there and sliced it up. huge scabs. constantly in tiny flecks of pain. miserable but not unbearable, you know?

pussy felt like sandpaper.

i didnt even notice this until later but it also made me fail to derive pleasure from the touch of another person. but like i wanted to. if someone held me or squeezed my hand it felt almost painful. shit made no sense but you just think "this isnt how its supposed to feel? whats wrong with me?". but like that's over. it stopped. it feels good again.

food tasted bad. and i dont mean no flavor i mean BAD. i say this a lot but i cannot understate how fucked it made my palate. its normal again thank god. i have a bag of coffee that tastes different depending on when the last time i took a pill was. i spent the last year complaining about how bad processed food tastes now like all companies decided to make their product bad instead of something being wrong with me specifically. but when adam's cooking started to taste bad i was like "wait. what? thats not possible". lol thanks honey for helping me realize....

this one is really weird: it would cause specific parts of my body to feel stiff. the worst and most chronic part was the small of my lower back, which felt pulled taught so tight it was uncomfortable. then it spread to the fingers of my right hand, causing me to have to stop every few minutes and scrunch my fingers to try to alleviate it. this symptom only returns after i take a dose now. it makes me thrash like a fish trying to get comfortable at night

[freebooter4ever]

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

[underratedmhapoll]

So About the Brackets... (Important Update)

I've been thinking about where the logical end point of this blog should be recently. I have a lot of other projects and personal things in my life I want to have more time to get back to. Because that free time was spent monitoring poll posts and photoshopping screenshots together for the last few months.

It's been fun, it really has, but I can't be committed to this sort of thing forever. At that realization, I've decided to do three things.

I'm going to take a break. I'm going to finish the crafts that have been lingering half finished on my desk. I'm going to redouble my efforts into the AUs I have. I'm going to finally try and finish the writing challenge I took on last year. Point being, making content for this blog isn't going to be a priority for me anymore. We had our fun but it needs to end at some point, right?

However! We're going out with a bang with a 64 character bracket (and possibly another secret special bracket). Suggestions will be held as normal for the next two weeks. These will be the final brackets this blog takes part in hosting.

I still want to drop content on this blog on occasion but it won't be planned out projects like the brackets anymore. Maintaining the brackets, updating them daily, making sure I use different images for every individual poll, making extra visuals like the blog headers and final results page; it was a lot of work that required constant monitoring and maintenance. To put it simply, any polls I do post from this point forward will be much less work, and I won't be keeping track of results. Most likely, I'll just drop random MHA related polls whenever my brain comes up with one. I still have some bonus poll ideas that never got posted so I'll throw those out first and foremost but I'll also take suggestions for polls as well. Little one offs basically. They'll be sparse and silly but it's something to justify keeping this blog around. More details for those will come at a later date.

If someone else wants to run a similarly themed bracket you are more than welcome to! I may even post my assets if people are interested. I am honored you'd want to keep the idea alive but it's about time I put down the tournament template and call it a night. If you do make one, or any kind of MHA bracket, feel free to tag me and I'll happily reblog and boost as I've done before.

See you in the mega bracket.

Plus Ultra!

[mouseratz]

No one is a fat “phobe”. I was fat as a kid too and only up until a couple years ago I wasn’t. I’m skinny but not instagram skinny like normal skinny and after I eat I look like I gained even more weight till I wake up again, like normal. I was fat too the difference is I don’t complain about it online and make it the base of my identity. And you take everything in the worst way, nobody is mad your autistic or fat, but when u do the above things like complain it just is sad. There’s other things to talk and think about. I’m sure it’s not fun thinking about it for you.

Y'know I'll feed a troll a little bit now just because i'm bored. Are you, like, not familiar with the concept of bloating? (Of course your stomach looks bigger when you eat. That's kind of how those work- they stretch to contain your meal while it digests. that's what a stomach does.)

And I'll be pretty obvious for you, get really personal- there was a period in my life where I didn't eat much at all. I did starve myself, though not with the express purpose of being skinny (my anxiety made me feel sick way too often), and I did lose some weight, I'll give you. I ate a meal or less daily, skipping entirely some days, and my stomach hurt all the time, for around two years. The weight loss was noticeable enough that people would comment how good I looked and must've been feeling, even though my mental illnesses were at their peak and I was very close to committing suicide (and would've said as much if they asked. but most people didn't. because I was losing weight, I must've been taking care of myself, right?)

I still, at my absolute skinniest, would be, by BMI, be categorized at the borderline of overweight and obese. Fatness is often genetically determined, there's only a certain range your body will tolerate, simply. We are told otherwise because it sells- it sells weight loss products and extreme diets, and while exercise isn't innately bad, it absolutely pressures people into more extreme routines there, too, and buying more of that shit. It financially benefits a lot of people to say fatness is a disease in of itself to sell cures that really do not do shit. All of the studies we have show that sustained weight loss is INCREDIBLY difficult to achieve past a certain level (no, I'm not linking, because I'm lazy, ill give you that, too), and big fluctuations in weight repeatedly (up and down, often called "yo-yo"-ing or "yoyo dieting") are NOT good for the body (yet, people are still encouraged for the effort, and blamed on being "gluttonous" or "lazy" or "undisciplined" for being unable to keep weight off).

And, past all of that, even if fatness was something that made you sick- how would that justify treating fat people like this? the harassment, the disbelief, the entitlement, for just having people aware of your body? where is the kindness, if you really think we're so suffering? why is it all holier-than-thou condescension?

anon, you seem like you are very new to the idea of fatphobia, which is why I've taken my time to explain anything at all. I would recommend looking into this topic more, but also try to understand how other people feel instead of taking the time out of your day to send rude messages to someone you've never met.

plus, if you scroll through my blog, you'll see a lot more shit posts and discussions about anything else. I like to draw, I make art. I collect toys, and post about that. Have you looked at anything in my profile but the post that got 20k notes & my responses? I am a whole person, I'm just not going to shut up about my fatness or my mental illnesses because they're part of it. This is a picture you've painted wholly for yourself to justify your disgust of something I said.

[legthief]

I posted 570 times in 2022

That's 570 more posts than 2021!

136 posts created (24%)

434 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@7000f1

@akkivee

@averagejakuraienjoyer

@knowyourwrights

@flingpoly

I tagged 496 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#hypmic - 108 posts

#hypnosis mic - 74 posts

#legsbian containment zone - 52 posts

#ramuda amemura - 42 posts

#i see ramuda i reblog - 39 posts

#jyushi aimono - 21 posts

#sasara nurude - 18 posts

#jakurai jinguji - 17 posts

#hifumi izanami - 12 posts

#samatoki aohitsugi - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i think it’s going to be fling posse and mad trigger crew because they’re the ones most deeply tied with the “take down chuoku” rhetoric

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

83 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#4

i love the shuffle divisions, particularly jakurai and ichiro’s teams.

jakurai’s is saburo learning what it’s like to have parents via hitojaku being divorced-but-still-in-love dads. the board game was too funny guys it’s like when your mom starts telling a story about your dad at family game night that he doesn’t want you to hear. died when jakurai said he called hitoya “heaven the magic king” because he respected him and you could tell he was genuine about it. saburo experiencing the same turmoil as rei (third wheel)

ichiro’s is ichiro hanging out with two intimidating 6′1 guys who are actually afraid to ask for more ketchup. like rosho could fuck you up and has a death glare comparable to samatoki and jyushi looks like That when he’s in full vkei but both of them would rather send ichiro up to tell the mcdonalds employee that they asked for no pickles

104 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#3

a family doesn’t have to be a mom and dad and some kids. a family can be three really close brothers, a yakuza who hates bugs and vegetables, the yakuza’s younger sister who could beat the absolute shit out of you, a cop who has committed almost every crime, a navy vet who lives in a tent out in the woods, a doctor who used to be a hitman, his assistant/son, a host who is afraid of women, literally just some guy, a fashion designer who is a clone made under incredibly dubious circumstances, a writer who is stealing his twin brother’s identity, the twin brother, a gambler who is actually the prime minister’s son, a monk who bites but might be the greatest person ever, a visual kei musician who cries a lot and loves his plush pig but is also ridiculously strong, a cringe fail lawyer with a pompadour who rides a motorcycle and can breakdance, a comedian who can probably see your soul without opening his eyes, a math teacher with stage fright, and a conman who is definitely not a mad scientist

152 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

sasara nurude is the scariest hypmic man let me elaborate

unkillable (like just in general)

he has nearly the same typology as ramuda (entp...)

beat the shit out of samatoki

no one knows whats going on inside his head except for maybe rei

keeps his eyes closed. he looks almost identical to gin ichimaru and that alone terrifies me

clown

no seriously. you literally cannot embarrass him. man clowns himself whether it's for money or not. he'd be in the top three most bullyable hypmic characters with jyuto and hitoya if he wasn't impossible to bully.

you physically can't lie to him. he can see your soul even with his eyes closed

catboy

he's from osaka i do not pick fights with people from osaka ever.

5'8

wears the most atrocious outfits on a daily basis

born on halloween

he's not like other hypmic characters like rosho, jakurai, doppo, etc., who are only scary when they're angry. this man will choose violence at any given time if he wants to.

230 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

one of my favorite things about hypmic is how integral hair colors are to the character design. their hair colors all mean something and they’re so deliberate.

yamada brothers all have black hair to match their normal ass names and remind you that they are, really, just normal kids.

samatoki and nemu have white hair to contrast them. i could talk forever about how samatoki and nemu are designed to directly contrast ichiro but that’s for another time. jyuto is the Normal One, hence the normal brown hair. rio is ginger just to remind you that he’s white lmao.

all the members of matenrou have dual-colored hair to match their dual personalities, with a more normal color of hair layered over the more absurd one. this is important, because their more socially acceptable personality is what they are more like most of the time. (they are autistic) people perceive them as completely normal functioning adults before finding out that they are, in fact, not at all normal.

ramuda is pink because of his chuoku affiliation BUT! there’s more! his hair is dual-colored, but fades to purple rather than having a hard switch from pink to purple. much like i said about matenrou, the dual hair color is indicative of a dual personality. ramuda’s dual personality is different from matenrou, however, because the distinction between his cute persona and his darker persona as his real self kind of doesn’t exist. instead of drunk jakurai, host hifumi, or angry doppo, which are all not the true personalities of the matenrou members, dark ramuda and cute ramuda are equally the real ramuda. gentaro has brown hair so not to clash with his clothing, but also to emphasize that he’s supposed to be more of a narrator-type character, to fade into the background and let the story unfold, to finish his brother’s work and then vanish as though he were never there. dice’s hair is blue to oppose chuoku’s pink and his mother, while still being a link to her, and to contrast ramuda.

kuko’s hair is red, and i like to believe that it’s supposed to be like fire, connecting him to his sun motif but also to ichiro, who is often associated with fire. i sound ridiculous, but let’s keep going. bringing back the dual-colored hair i talked about before, jyushi’s odd hair color is outside, completely opposite from matenrou. jyushi’s chuunibyou personality only appears around people he doesn’t know, or doesn’t feel comfortable around (like a mask. autism), so naturally his hair’s eccentric accents are outside, rather than inside. hitoya is yet another case of the Normal Guy, but this time i want to say it’s because of jakurai. hitoya’s hair color is so incredibly common and average, two words i believe hitoya hates. you know who has a unique hair color? jakurai. hitoya is average, jakurai is not. sorry i get more insane the further down the post goes.

sasara is like ramuda, and i hate to break it to you, but we don’t actually know sasara that well. he’s definitely a many-layered character, and the fact that he will hide what he’s thinking and put on the mask of a silly guy makes me believe that his hair going from dark to light is deliberate. rosho is yet another dual-colored hair case, but he’s special because he’s only got a few streaks of lighter purple. these few streaks sort of symbolize how he gets when he’s mad, or maybe even how he’s a completely different person speaking to a crowd versus speaking to an individual. there’s nothing i can say about rei that i didn’t cover with the buster bros.

this has been division all-stars posting with leg, stay tuned for more. i am writing this while incredibly tired so assume any error i make in my grammar or typing is a result of that.

237 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thursday7econlive]

Name: Regina Nappo

Student ID: 17848878

Discussion Time: Thursday 7:00-7:50 pm

Professor Branch, Econ 20A

Date: March 14, 2023

What's in a Mindset?

The topics that I wanted to focus on for my Econ Live project are total utility, marginal utility, and sunk cost fallacy.

This quarter I am taking eight classes, as depicted in the graph above. As I have been thinking of my Econ Live project topic, I realized that the graph above represented a great aspect of my daily life, and also discusses what we have talked about in class.

Taking eight classes, there are some days when I have up to eight class sessions to attend, whether it's lectures, meetings, or discussions. However, I noticed that my overall satisfaction and productivity would greatly diminish throughout the day, and at about my fifth class, my marginal utility would be down to 0. As you can see in the graph, my total utility generally increases until about the fifth class. After the fifth class, my marginal utility begins to go into the negatives, which causes my total utility to begin to slope downwards as well.

Furthermore, I noticed that the idea of sunk cost fallacy actually played a great role in my day-to-day decisions. I commute to school, so there have certainly been days where I have stayed for an 8th class of the day. On these days, I use the logic, "I'm already here, so it would be a waste not to go to class. I paid tuition for these credits, so it would be a waste of money not to attend my 8th class of the day." During our economics class, I learned that this mindset is very similar to sunk cost fallacy. Noted, I do not often have eight classes in a single day, so I'm not encouraging skipping class. However, I do think there are reasonable limits, and when I know I would be much more productive studying at home than having a staring contest with the clock in my 8th class of the day, I think that is the idea of sunk cost fallacy coming into play.

As a brief refresher, sunk cost fallacy is when a person is unwilling to give up on a course of action due to already having heavy investments in it, even though giving up the idea would have the greatest benefits. This is like when a person chooses to watch the end of a terribly boring and pointless movie simply because they already bought the ticket for the movie, and think that leaving would be a waste. In reality, that person could go home and make more value of their time, time that would've gone to a pointless commitment to a pointless movie.

So, I realized that sometimes when I was completely burnt out, forcing myself to go to a class that I knew I could easily make up from notes, posted lectures, readings, etc., was not worth it. I would normally not learn much due to tiredness, often getting distracted on my phone or in my own thoughts. However, I realized that I could make myself much more economically efficient by spending that time studying, looking over my notes, and working on homework.

All in all, this mentality has helped me to develop a much healthier outlook on academics and my mode of production. I often subconsciously consider things like my total utility nowadays in my everyday life, such as when it comes to hanging out with friends and such as well. A few hours is good, but after reaching the maximum point, it becomes a little excessive, especially if I have work and other things I must tend to. Overall, I am very glad that I learned about sunk cost fallacy as well. I actually tried to start an online business about a year ago, where I ordered a bunch of jewelry online for my store. Needless to say, without any experience, it did not go as planned. However, due to sunk cost fallacy, a phrase that I did not know existed at the time, I continued to spend lots of money on social media ads in hopes of at least selling all the stuff I had ordered. Of course, amateur ads did not do much, and I just ended up finding myself deeper into the rabbit hole. The point is, I learned a great deal in our economics course, and more and more, I am starting to see these concepts in my everyday life.

As for the second graph, it is a copy of the first graph but with accurate depictions of my emotions throughout the span of the curves! The emotions continuously rise up until a certain point and then start going downhill. Thank you Professor Branch for a great quarter!

[eazy-group]

Carolyn lost 80 pounds

New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/carolyn-lost-80-pounds/

Carolyn lost 80 pounds

Transformation of the Day: Carolyn lost 80 pounds. Her journey began after she had a stroke in 2019 and she has been committed to good nutrition and exercise ever since. She feels blessed to have a second chance at life. #fitover60

Social Media: Facebook: Carolyn J. Yancey

When did you start your journey? I started in 2019 after my stroke

What was your motivation? What inspired you to keep going, even when you wanted to give up? In 2019 I had a stroke and the doctors told me if I wanted to turn my health around I had to make some changes in my nutrition and exercise regimen moving forward. I made a decision that day to turn my life around and live. Did I want to give up, how many times? (Every day, I had to fight through my emotions). I also had a heart monitor on when I left the hospital and my kidney had been damaged. What inspired me was wanted to live for myself first and my family, did not need to be burying me. I had to trust the process and go through the test on blind Faith.

How did you change your eating habits? I realized that I could not outwork a bad diet, no matter how much exercise I did. I had to change my eating habits. The first things I stopped were sodas, chips, candy bars & fast foods. I took baby steps with each thing item I changed. I stated grilling, baking & air-frying. Some days I passed the test and some days I had to start over. I cooked more food from home and ate healthier choices. I also had to give myself “Grace” daily. I was not a perfect but working to perfect my bad habits.

What is your workout routine? I actually workout with some sisters every morning with weights and sometimes without. I track my steps daily (at lease 10,000 or more), and use cardio videos (chair or standing). We have even done line dancing in a chair. I also walk every evening at our community track and ride my stationary bike at times. 

How often did you work out? I work out daily, doing some form of activity.

What was your starting weight? In 2019, it was 270 pounds.

What is your current weight? It is 190 pounds.

What is your height? I’m 5’2″.

How long did your transformation take? It took me four years, I slow walked it out and now I am a four year stroke survivor.

Is weight loss surgery part of your journey? I never had weight loss surgery.

What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far? I learned that it is never too late to start over; sometimes you have to do it alone. I am 67 and just beginning to love myself and stay consistent. By staying consistent, I reversed my kidney disease and they are normal now. I no longer wear a heart monitor and I’m working full-time. I feel blessed to have a second chance at life. 

What advice do you have for women who want to lose weight? Ladies this might be hard for some but I didn’t see the changes until I started taking pictures (even when I said I don’t like to take them). I also did measurement and lost a lot of inches. Take those pictures and trust the process.

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[regina1030]

Regina Nappo #17848878

Professor Branch, Econ 20A

March 14, 2023

What's in a Mindset?

The topics that I wanted to focus on for my Econ Live project are total utility, marginal utility, and sunk cost fallacy.

This quarter I am taking eight classes, as depicted in the graph above. As I have been thinking of my Econ Live project topic, I realized that the graph above represented a great aspect of my daily life, and also discusses what we have talked about in class.

Taking eight classes, there are some days when I have up to eight class sessions to attend, whether it's lectures, meetings, or discussions. However, I noticed that my overall satisfaction and productivity would greatly diminish throughout the day, and at about my fifth class, my marginal utility would be down to 0. As you can see in the graph, my total utility generally increases until about the fifth class. After the fifth class, my marginal utility begins to go into the negatives, which causes my total utility to begin to slope downwards as well.

Furthermore, I noticed that the idea of sunk cost fallacy actually played a great role in my day-to-day decisions. I commute to school, so there have certainly been days where I have stayed for an 8th class of the day. On these days, I use the logic, "I'm already here, so it would be a waste not to go to class. I paid tuition for these credits, so it would be a waste of money not to attend my 8th class of the day." During our economics class, I learned that this mindset is very similar to sunk cost fallacy. Noted, I do not often have eight classes in a single day, so I'm not encouraging skipping class. However, I do think there are reasonable limits, and when I know I would be much more productive studying at home than having a staring contest with the clock in my 8th class of the day, I think that is the idea of sunk cost fallacy coming into play.

As a brief refresher, sunk cost fallacy is when a person is unwilling to give up on a course of action due to already having heavy investments in it, even though giving up the idea would have the greatest benefits. This is like when a person chooses to watch the end of a terribly boring and pointless movie simply because they already bought the ticket for the movie, and think that leaving would be a waste. In reality, that person could go home and make more value of their time, time that would've gone to a pointless commitment to a pointless movie.

So, I realized that sometimes when I was completely burnt out, forcing myself to go to a class that I knew I could easily make up from notes, posted lectures, readings, etc., was not worth it. I would normally not learn much due to tiredness, often getting distracted on my phone or in my own thoughts. However, I realized that I could make myself much more economically efficient by spending that time studying, looking over my notes, and working on homework.

All in all, this mentality has helped me to develop a much healthier outlook on academics and my mode of production. I often subconsciously consider things like my total utility nowadays in my everyday life, such as when it comes to hanging out with friends and such as well. A few hours is good, but after reaching the maximum point, it becomes a little excessive, especially if I have work and other things I must tend to. Overall, I am very glad that I learned about sunk cost fallacy as well. I actually tried to start an online business about a year ago, where I ordered a bunch of jewelry online for my store. Needless to say, without any experience, it did not go as planned. However, due to sunk cost fallacy, a phrase that I did not know existed at the time, I continued to spend lots of money on social media ads in hopes of at least selling all the stuff I had ordered. Of course, amateur ads did not do much, and I just ended up finding myself deeper into the rabbit hole. The point is, I learned a great deal in our economics course, and more and more, I am starting to see these concepts in my everyday life.

As for the second graph, it is a copy of the first graph but with accurate depictions of my emotions throughout the span of the curves! The emotions continuously rise up until a certain point and then start going downhill. Thank you Professor Branch for a great quarter!

[1autistictacticalrefrigerator]

Heres the actual fic :)

Police!Soap and Killer!Ghost

(I’ll skip the beginning aspects, please read the post above to know the beginning and how it all started… 👆)

Soap was on a midnight patrol, ever since “The Ghost” started his killing, the police department had to do daily midnight patrols.

Most of the police are afraid to do midnight patrols ever since The Ghost started to pick off police officers on their midnight shifts.

But someone had to do it.

So Soap, new and oblivious to all the rumors, of course, took it. I mean, its extra bucks right?

Little did Soap know though, the rumors were all indeed true to a certain degree, and he had just painted a huge target in red on his back thats just spelling out, “Come After Me”.

…

Ghost was a professional murderer, he picked up the skill after realizing a need to survive, his father was a drunk fuck, couldn’t do anything right nevertheless get a job. His father killed his mother, so Ghost thought, “Hey, if I can witness a murder, I can commit one.”

That was how he became a contracted killer for money. For his little brother. For my family. Ghost had thought.

But that was all in the past. Now that Tommy is all grown up, he doesn’t need his big brother to support him anymore. He gets a normal life. But Ghost? Never.

Now Ghost does his hobby with pride, taking on the name “The Ghost”. No targets. No money. Only adrenaline. Thats how this man operates.

There was one problem however, a new police officer- actually. The man was.. a lot to say the least. He was annoying though, every time Ghost comes close to a killing, the officer always seemed to be heading his way. Like a fucking magnet. Then Ghost has to run away again. Rghh..

THE WORST PART IS, THAT MAN WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT HE ALMOST CAUGHT THE GHOST ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.

What has the world come to?

Ghost knew he had to do something about this eventually, he had to if he wanted to stay out of jail. So.. no time like the present.

Because there he is, the man himself.

Police officer Soap Mctavish.

…

Soap hums to himself quietly as he took on his patrol, tonight the air was crisp and cool.

“Hmm, maybe a nice up of coffee once I’m done here.” Soap says to himself, “Oh, wait. I forgot.. ugh, cafes probably aren’t open at this hour.”

Soap had another two hours self before someone else takes the shift, nighttime patrols were always exhausting. Its alright though, Soap likes to patrol through the park. He loves the flowers there. And its also right next to the woods, the town wasn’t that big. Speaking of the woods..

Soap comes to a halt when he sees a shadowy figure in the trees. Oh no, did staying up all night make Soap delusional…? He was a curious man though. Can’t hurt to take a look, right?

As soon as Soap nears the figure, arms shot out grabbing Soap, making him drop the flashlight he was holding. He tried to scream for help, but a hand clasps over his mouth- muffling his cries. Soap thrashes and kicks blindly, trying to hit whoever grabbed him, but had no luck.

Soap attempts to grab his taser, but he feels his head colliding with something hard like a tree before his vision slowly but surely turns to black..

..and he’s out cold.

( END OF PT1 )

(Someone probably already did this somewhere in the world, but heres my contribution.)

Police!Soap and Killer!Ghost anyone?? 🔪

Soap was a rookie police officer with a pretty impossible dream; to catch The Ghost. The infamous Ghost was a serial killer that had terrorized the poor town even before Soap became a officer. The police could never get the drop on Ghost, hence the name “The Ghost”. Other officers told Soap rumor is that the man could go off the grid any time and nobody would be able to find him, not even the fbi.

Soap didn’t think so. He thinks thats all bullshit, how hard can it be? Okay, maybe a little but still..

Nobody would help Soap however, the killer apparently terrifies even the police, he looked menacing even in the few blurry photos they managed to get of that bastard.

All black, tall and sturdy frame, and his signature skull mask.

…

Somewhere in the town, a mysterious man in all black and a skull mask has taken a certain interest in a rookie police officer.

Maybe this one will be smarter..? Or at least more fun.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(I’ll probably make a actual story. For now this is like.. uh.. the trailer. Yes. The trailer. 🫵😃)

[liaromancewriter]

Penny for your thoughts?

Do you think part of the charm in the love story between Ethan x MC is the fact that he never loved anyone before loving her? If he were a “normal” man, who has been in serious committed relationships full of love (by his age maybe a divorce even), would it take away how “special” MC is? (I’m trying to talk in general about “MC” instead of “your MC” because I don’t want anyone to feel insulted, but feel free to add up with your own HC if you have Ethan being in love before, I know a lot of people don’t and that’s ok) and;

What about if Ethan were a “normal” man who has friends, goes out, uses social media and is more outgoing (not the life of the party, he is still Ethan Ramsey, just not so lone wolf Ethan Ramsey). If MC didn’t have the praise of having him living life more happily and freely, would it take away from their relationship/bond?

I recently read a post about having characters experiencing a big ass love story more than once, not just the “They never felt this way before”. So it got me thinking about Ethan (I know you share your thoughts on Cassie's side), and the weight MC had in his life. Plus even with your guarantee of Happy Endings I have seen you using realistic situations/approaches in your stories and find that really cool. Best of both worlds. :)

I was online so thought I'd answer with my initial thoughts.

It's hard to say if Ethan Ramsey in canon didn't have any committed relationships before the series starts. There just isn't any evidence to prove that or disprove it for that matter. We do know of his relationship with Harper and by all accounts it lasted several years (at least 7 or 8) even if they weren't together the whole time.

I always assumed Ethan was normal in the way that you described, but just private. He says in Book 1, Ch 4 (premium scene) that he likes to keep his private life separate from the hospital. He also tells us that he makes time for the things that fulfill him: travel, the arts, exercise.

We know Dolores was his friend for 10 years, they met for Sunday roast every now and then, and that he knows her family well enough to call them not once, but twice. He and Naveen certainly were close, celebrating birthdays, etc.

I believe he had a full life, but he is a workaholic. By the time MC comes to Edenbrook, Ethan is starting to burn out and the events that transpire over the next couple of years don't help matters. In that respect, we as the reader only really see his life at work and the relationship dynamics that exist as a result.

The charm of the series, at least for me, was how unexpected the relationship was between Ethan and MC, and as such it's all the more memorable for it. MC didn't come to Edenbrook for love, they came to learn from Ethan Ramsey. From the first moment, that's exactly what happens because they're not afraid to ask for it (unlike Landry).

If MC chooses to romance Ethan, their love story has elements of deep caring and trust, passion and friendship that ultimately becomes love. If MC views Ethan only as a mentor and a peer on the Diagnostics Team, their relationship still has caring and trust at the heart of it as well as friendship and respect. He is MC's mentor and invested in their career, wanting only the best for them.

I know from personal experience that when you work all hours of the day, your strongest and deepest relationships are with those you work with. If you want that of course. But spending 14 hours or more with someone daily just creates a bond that others can't always understand.

If Ethan had a full life outside the hospital, which I believe he did, he and MC would have still had this amazing bond. They're alike in many ways with respect to medicine and career goals, but they also have their unique perspectives and approaches. And they respect each other for it.

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