#it never crossed crowley’s mind that he’s a magic being and could just fake some memories and have some random nanny be their nanny
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loverboybrightsideghost · 1 year ago
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#so i’m o much only staying away from GO online and even at that i’m mostly staying away from the tv stuff#but i still think about it (good omens) and i’m actually relistening to the audio drama bc i love it soooo much#anyways because i love warlock so much and find his role so interesting i have a concept to present#just a scenario really#what if right around the time warlock’s eleventh birthday is rolling around the dowlings have another kid#they need a nanny again and crowley and aziraphale talk it over#and crowley as warlock’s brother’s nanny would just be really convenient for them to keep a closer eye on warlock#so etc etc warlock’s NOT the antichrist BUT the dowlings still need a nanny and crowley has to keep nanny-ing#while trying to find the real anti-christ#and this works with the logic of ‘he was going to just poof into space but he had to drive to tadfield???’#it never crossed crowley’s mind that he’s a magic being and could just fake some memories and have some random nanny be their nanny#aziraphale (in the book) hates or at least very much dislikes warlock bc he is totally a little shit#so i have a head canon that crowley loves warlock bc he’s such a little shit. he’s like wow this kid sucks <3 that’s my boy <3#bluebird.txt#essentially the plot is the same except more nanny ashtoreth and more ‘no mrs. dowling the boys are fine- WARLOCK STICK YOUR HEAD BACK IN#THE CAR YOUR HEAD WILL CATCH FIRE- yes we’re having a lovely time at the zoo- OTHER KID STOP TRYING TO CATCH THE FISH FALLING FROM TJE SKY’#hehe#and aziraphale is like i love all of gods creations but some of them (children) sure take a little more effort huh#he’s just so annoyed the whole time#OH AND IF CROWLEY HAS TO BRING THEM TO THE BOOKSHOP BC HES MEETING AZIRAPHALE#HES JUST SO STRESSED OUT THE WHOLE TIME BC kid kid kID GET AWAY FROM MY PRICELESS COLLECTION OF FIRST EDITIONS
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sibsteria · 4 years ago
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all the angels [cast & angels & chuck]
prompts: ''run away with me''
summary: [bare with me, this is a long summary and concept] throughout the decades, y/n and the angels lived in harmony, her being the only being with powers on par with chuck. an immortal life with your angels sounds good, doesn't it? something goes wrong and y/n gets projected into the world of the spn actors. she had never met god, despite being made for the angels because of him. the thing is, she doesn't remember anything of her life with the angels and this messes with reality. the world of reality, along with y/n, are all magically convinced she has always been in their universe as a fellow cast mate. what happens when most of her favourite angels and a certain hellish man team up to collect her in the middle of a con?
characters: Rob Benedict, Richard Speight Jr, Mark Pellegrino, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Sebastian Roche, Chuck Shurley, Gabriel, Castiel, Lucifer, Balthazar, Crowley
warnings: I dreamt something along the lines of this and it's just pure crack, I apologise, fluff, angst, everyone is single because it gets weird. I wrote this at 4am :/
---
''So let's talk about Y/n's character! She hasn't been explained too much but we know her backstory.'' Wow, thank you, Mark Sheppard.
''Well, I'm pretty sure the fans already know.'' I shrug, but a glare from the man before me makes me roll my eyes.
''Come on, don't leave them in the dust, also sharing a name with your character is weird right?'' He teases me, I resist the urge to walk over and playfully slap him.
''Fine. She was created by God to please the angels in whatever way they needed, with her consent obviously. She creates a connection with Gabriel and their connection become the focus of her life, until she meets Crowley-'' I look over at Sheppard and paint a fake scowl on my face, sending the audience into light laughter. ''-who is also vying for her attention, but as you all know, she had been killed off at the end of the last season. Y'all didn't see that blinding golden light and her disappearing act?'' I raise my eyebrow at the crowd. They murmur amongst themselves.
''Are you sure she was killed off?'' Richard snickers from next to me. ''What if her dear Gabe just snapped her away for some-'' He wags his eyebrows to out fans. ''-angel on paragon action.''
''It's literally in the script shut up- or you know, believe this idiot.'' I smile, showing I meant no offense
''Scripts change! You know that!'' Misha reasons, aggressively.
''I suppose so.'' Leaving audiences in an unsolved mystery is the fun of cons.
---
Sitting in the green room, it's sweaty and warm after the panel. We are instantly greeted by our colleagues awaiting their next instructions such as Mark Pellegrino, Sebastian Roche and Rob Benedict.
''Welcome back, you little bastards.'' Sebastian's voice rings throughout the room, I groan, faceplanting onto the couch where Rob sat, fiddling with an acoustic guitar.
We sat, talked, ate, I napped, yknow the usual.
---
''So, do you think they will bring you back for the next season?'' Misha asks, I bite my lip and answer him.
''I have no idea, no one has said anything so maybe not. I'll be joining our widdle Kings of Con if not.'' I give a baby voice when talking about the couple that is R2.
''Hey!'' Rob's voice wavers in his distinct little way.
''Rude of you to call me little.'' Richard winks and I shoot gag at him, he feigns a frown.
''In other news-'' Mark Pellegrino's cut-in is interrupted by a blinding golden light, surrounding the room. I grip onto Rob's arm as the ground begins to shake, burring my head into his chest, I cover my eyes from the light. He holds me back just as tight, hiding in the comfort of my shoulder. One of many weird, intimate moments with him that makes people believe we are together.
A loud, pitched, sound rattles around us. A few of us scream in pain but I just whimper and move closer into Rob.
Suddenly, everything stops and stills.
I can't force myself to move.
''What the fuck?!'' I hear Misha, making me not want to move even more.
''Ha! Look, she's cuddling you. Awe.'' I hear Richard's voice, but it wasn't him, it didn't sound like him. I pull myself away from Rob's chest and look at the scene unfolding.
'What the fuck?'' I whisper, repeating Collins' earlier comment. Stood here, a few feet in front of us are Gabriel, Balthazar, Castiel, Crowley, Lucifer and Chuck. Did I miss something?
''Not happy to see us, darlin'?'' Gabriel smirks, a foot of his approaches me, I look at them in confusion and shock.
''W-What's going on?'' That is the first time I have ever heard Pellegrino stutter.
''We should probably talk...'' Chuck wavers his hands to us all, motioning us to listen to him.
''So, uh, Y/n here? She's our Y/n, from our reality and we kinda want her back.'' Gabriel shuffles his weight between each of his feet, I'm in too much terror to even speak, so is everyone else.
''You hear him, dickbags? We want her back.'' Lucifer crosses his arms, staring dead into Pellegrino's soul, presumably to make him uncomfortable.
''I don't understand-'' I stop myself, leaving it at that.
''Wait, do you not remember?'' Gabriel looks at me, broken eyes reflect his inside pain.
''Of course she doesn't, you bollock! Can't you see the look on her face?'' Crowley rolls his eyes but for some reason I can sense his true sadness.
''I will explain, better.'' Castiel takes a step towards me. ''You are Y/n Divine, our Divine, your the celestial from our existence. Your our...?'' He struggles to find the words, Balthazar answers for him. Not the lot of explaining I need there, Cas.
''Our collective soulmate, so to speak.'' He nods.
''Yeah, that's who I am in Supernatural but- this isn't the show, this is reality. I gotta be dreaming, oh my God-'' Chuck interferes (doesn't he always).
''That's me.'' The nervous laugh from the bearded almighty almost makes me laugh, almost, but the situation was too real for it. ''Would it help if I...showed you?'' He says, unsure of his choice of words.
For some reason, I pour my trust into him, and walk towards the clone of my almost boyfriend, I wished.
''Mind if I show all of you?'' Chuck asks, before ignoring some of the 'no's in the room and he snaps, bringing us into a dream state.
Scenes flow through our brains, ones that weren't in the show
---
Dressed in a white kaftan with golden afflictions, there was Y/n, lay in the greenest of grass. And next to her? Gabriel the Archangel. Almost in a Bella-Edward meadow position, the two looked into each other, reading one another's soul.
''Run away with me.'' Gabriel whispers, lighter than air.
''What?'' She snaps out of her dreamy daze.
''Let's leave, you don't need any other angel that isn't me.'' This breaks her heart, although Gabriel was her favourite and the one she had a special connection with, she had a duty to remain near the other angels.
''I want to-'' Gabe's heart lifts but sank soon after. ''-but you know I can't. I wasn't created to defy my purpose, I would cease to exist if I did.'' A tear rolls down her cheek, the light from the fading sun rested gracefully on her skin.
''I know. Oh, what was I thinking? My father will come after us and- I would rather now think about what he would do to us, to you.'' He looks away from her to relish in his pain.
''Don't be like that, my little Aurelian enchanter-'' She mentions the colour of his golden wings, which lay across the ground behind him, a beautiful sight. ''-the time will come where no angel needs me, then I can devote myself to you, only you.'' She mumbles, pressing a sure kiss to the peak of his nose. He huffs in a peaceful array of emotion.
''At least you don't kiss any other of my brothers or estranged family.'' He nudges back at her, nose to nose.
---
''That was sickening to watch.'' Pellegrino chuckles into the dark abyss of our voices, unable to see each other but still recognising each other within the blindness.
''Shall I show you another one?'' A rhetorical question from the Lord from above, as he whisks us into another memory.
---
She sat on a bench, clad in elegancy, the world was still new and beaming. New angels were being created, not all of them needed a divine celestial to aid them, so she spent her days watching the creations live. The bees harvesting pollen from the flowers was one of her favourite sights.
She felt an angelic presence appear next to her, but a new one, an unknown one.
''Who might you be?'' She asks, not tearing her eyes away from the fuzz of a creature.
''I am Castiel.'' Short and stat, seems like the kind of being he was, without a vessel he could be read more easily.
''No vessel yet, I assume?'' She looks towards the beam of light beside her.
''No, not yet. I hardly think there's a need for such a thing.'' His voice was the most beautiful she had heard, of all the angels, no vessel and no front made him so much more enticing.
''Well, nice to meet you. You're wings...they're black? Pretty though, new as well.'' She smiled at Castiel, his aura positively increased, the interaction helping them both. Just a simple amount of time in company can help an angel.
''Thank you.''
---
''So that's Castiel?'' Misha seems uneasy.
''Would you like to see the encounter between her and his vessel?''
---
She sat, with Balthazar, just grooming his beautiful wings. An act she did for her most favourite angels.
''Have you seen Castiel's vessel?'' He smiles up at her, in his own vessel.
''Not yet but I am excited though, from the comments I'm hearing, he is a most handsome fellow.'' She brushes past a certain spot, making Bal shiver in delight, not in a sexual manner.
''Ugh, like you don't find yourself infatuated with my golden winged brother already, don't go falling for another one.'' He groans in disgust, she laughs, melodically.
''I can promise you, I won't.'' That was a future lie.
''Hello, Y/n.'' A new voice from behind her, sensing the energy, she knew it was Cas.
A wide grin stretches across her features, ''Castiel!'' She shouts, whipping round to face the angel in his new restrictions. ''My, my, good choice, my angel.'' A nickname specifically reserved for the defying being.
''I would say 'thank you', but it would be a most similar and repetitive interaction.'' She sighs in relaxation, reliving her first encounter with Castiel.
''You are always welcome, you're one of my favourites.'' She boops his nose, squeaking 'boop' at the same time, Cas cocks his head in confusion.
''Boop?'' He questions her, she shrugs her shoulders.
''You're cute, so I booped you.'' She giggles, Castiel couldn't refuse the stutter in his 'emotions' as she spoke.
''Okay.''
---
I heard Mark Sheppard's voice throughout the void, ''YoU'rE cUtE, sO i BoOpEd YoU!'' His badgering voice pointing fun at me.
''Shut up.'' I mumble.
---
It was beautiful, the winding waterfall gushing down the rocks, watching it flow. She sat, in deep thought, things between Lucifer and Michael were getting tense, she was scared for the future.
''You don't need to worry about us, my little cherub.'' Lucifer's voice mixed eloquently with the sound of the waves slowly connecting the lake below.
''It's part of my job, I couldn't help it if I tried.'' She shrugged, she stared at the water, taking in the fresh air.
''I know that things aren't simple, they never will be, just know you will always have me. I have never spoken to anyone in such a tone before, you should be honoured, little one.'' This made her accumulate, she leaned back into hold, he was a median temperature. It was nice.
''My Lucifer.'' She grinned in thought. ''You always have been the most intriguing, I will never give up on you, I promise you that.'' She craned her neck to look at the blonde, before pressing the smallest of kisses to his jaw. She had never seen him so vulnerable, so honest with himself, and she wouldn't again for some time.
---
''My dear, this is too dangerous. You are not a warrior, you are a healer and an abettor. I can't let you, I'm sorry.'' Crowley's gruff rumble soaked the thin air, she wanted to fight for her angels- with her angels. She held the power, but not the will.
''I was made for this moment, this is my purpose, I have to do something.'' She pleads, tears stinging her eyes.
''Listen to me, darling, they need you alive more than you're help. Listen to what I'm saying, although I am nonpartisan, I can't remain unbiased. I fear that my little, fascination with you is what keeps you safe. The angels may not love it, but it keeps you safe whilst they handle their own. They want you safe, so that is what I will do.'' His short monologue seemed to flip something within Y/n, she stayed silent for a moment, reeling in thought. Hearing his repetition of the word safe just made her wish the same for her angels.
''I-I guess you're right. I don't want anything to happen to them, you remember last time, when it all-'' She couldn't bring herself to continue, relishing in the agony of remembering when Lucifer was cast.
''Yes, my dear, and you nearly got caught in the crossfire. It can't happen again, there is no other being like you and there never will be. The stories are that God nearly killed himself trying to create you, you are everything he wanted humanity to be.'' She smiled at this, he was trying to cheer her up with a bit of complimenting. ''Even if you are stubborn.'' She slapped his chest, as a farce and let out a small cachinnate.
---
Everyone was silent, things started to get heavy on thought and reason. No one could think of a word to say.
''One more for good measure, then we will asses you, Y/n.'' Uh, what does that mean?
---
The quiet air that surrounded the two was comforting and safe, content and peaceful. Y/n and Gabriel sat opposite one another, his wings lay in her lap as she did what she does best. Her hands traced up the outer lining of his wings, from top to bottom, before moving in the the inner feathers. She rolled a collection of feathers between her fingers each time she moving a few inches down, softly and gently. Working out the stress and the tightness that wound itself within them, he holds onto her knee, using it as a gripping post every once in a while. It wasn't a pain thing though, it was quite the opposite, the gratification and the bliss he was receiving from such a special moment was intense.
''I don't know why, I think your wings are my favourite.'' She hums out, brushing out the feathers she had been fixing in a swoop from the height of his wing and downwards, before moving on to the next section.
''Oh, really?'' Gabriel couldn't resist the playful tone residing in his comment, but that was what Y/n loved, he wasn't afraid to tease her.
''Without a doubt, they're mesmerising. Such a beautiful colour, and shape. They suit you so well.'' Slowly, she leans forward to kiss the corner of his mouth, before gently pulling herself back.
''Come on, sweetheart! You can do better than that-'' His voice is cut off by a staggering gasp as she unwinds a knot in his feather,  gripping her knee tight, he swoons.
She doesn't say a word, yet she picks up her head again, craning towards the angel's face. While continuing to brush out his ailerons of flight, she kisses him again, direct and strong. She moves against his lips with such care but much passion, Gabriel couldn't resist the slip of his tongue to her, she wasn't in any way complaining.
---
''Okay, that was upsetting to watch.'' Richard grumbles, we find ourselves back inside the green room, standing in front of us remain Chuck and Gabriel.
''You're telling me.'' I let a slanted expression reach my face.
''You mean you still don't remember?'' Gabriel's frown tugs at my heart, I feel something for him, but not as immense as what we have been watching.
''I have something that might work, but it might...do something?'' Chuck gives out a nervous chuckle, small and barely there.
''Do it, I need her back, I don't care about the consequences unless it hurts her.'' The strain and torment in his intonation is dismal.
''It won't hurt her, but it might- never mind, if it happens then it happens, if it doesn't then you will be happy you didn't know.'' Chuck walks towards me with purpose and I cower back slightly, a stern alarm on my face.
''W-Woah there, what are you doing?'' I reach out my hands in a 'stop' motion, he grabs hold of them.
''Bringing back your memory, I need you to focus on the moments you just watched, think about how you felt during them.'' I thought back, I felt as if I was the girl in the grass, and in heaven and the girl who loved the angels. I revelled in the select memories, the beautiful memories. ''Good, carry on thinking about them and how you felt.''
I felt a warmth surge through my hands, as they remained connected to Chuck's.
''It's working.'' I peek open my eyes and look down at our hands. Mine are white and hold a holy glow, my eyes widen as I look at the magic.
''This is you?'' I ask, Chuck shakes his head.
''It's you, well, it's us. You have your own powers, but this kind can only be used when I am touching you. You know you have angelic advantages, from the show?'' He explains in a way I understand, I nod. ''D-Do you want to remember this world? Along with your true one?'' I bit my lip before answering.
''I would, some people I can't let go.'' I look towards Rob, who stood off towards the side, the group of my colleagues still in shock of the situation, some whispering to each other.
''I see. Are you ready?'' The heat is getting more intense in my hands, a burning hot white light shines from then.
''I think so.''
''I need to warn you, you may not like what could happen next.'' He unclasps our hands before reaching up to sandwich my head between them. It wasn't painful, it was peculiar, my body went numb. This took around a minute before he took his hands of me.
My mind and his instantly travelled to a secluded world. It was barren and empty, but beautiful, Red sand and burnt skies surrounded me, small oasis' patched around. The sun was in a constant set, never going up nor down.
''Where are we?'' I asked Chuck, he was dressed in a white pant and shirt, I looked down towards myself. I was enclosed by a gorgeous lengthy white garment, a golden sash across my waist.
''We're in your head. How are you feeling?'' I smile.
''Like myself, thanks Chuck, nice to meet you by the way- can't believe I haven't said that yet, after all Gabe has told me.''
''Um, okay, this is going to be awkward to ask. What do you feel? When you look at me, that is.''
''Hm...'' I look into his soft eyes. I felt as if I belonged there, like it was home. My whole existence within his soul.
''That's- not good.'' He must have read me, because I didn't say that out loud. I widen my eyes, starting to panic. ''I-I mean, it could be? It depends how you feel on the matter.'' He tries to soothe me.
''Explain.'' Was all I said.
''We- well. I've linked us, not on purpose. You're life's fulfilment is with me now, along with the angels. I'm not your creator anymore, I'm your equal. Yet you are not light nor dark, your the meld of both, a mediator if you will. The love for the angels, can be found within myself now. I'm sorry, I never thought it would actually happen.'' I'm guessing this is the first time he has ever apologised, I don't know how but- I feel like I know everything about him. The almost humanitarian way he dabbles jn his powers is confronting.
''Yes, that's another edge you have, you know everything about me now, you know who I am and what I've done.'' He looks ashamed and off to the side.
''You may not be proud of who you are, but I am-'' I hold his hand and turn his head with my other. ''You're the creator, just because you have done bad things, does not mean you're a bad person.'' I feel like I've known him my whole life, I technically have. He remains silent.
''We will have our time, go seem them. If you ever need to see me and I'm not around, think of this place and I'll meet you here, no matter how far apart we are.'' He extracts us from the sanctuary.
I'm back in my own body, looking around at the awkward faces of my peers. We must have been stood, staring into space for some time.
''Hey-''I turn to Gabe as he speaks, walking towards him before I stop dead in my tracks. I swiftly run back to Chuck, slamming my lips against his, I feel my heart stutter in the shock of my own actions. He kisses me back with much more passion, before I pull away. I look at Rob, his mouth his hung open, using my power I look into his head.
He's shocked and- jealous. He thinks it's invigorating to see a version of himself kiss you. Realising he could've admitted his feelings to you, perhaps you wouldn't have gone back to them.
''Well- okay, that's new.'' Gabriel mutters, his voice cracks in the middle of his speech.
I turn and run towards Gabe.
''Don't worry, you're still my favourite.'' He yanks me into a hug, pulling me into a compact hug, I wrap my legs around his waist.
He whispers some enochian into my ear, I bite my lip and smile. Along the lines of 'should I book the hotel now or later?'.
''You know full well we don't need to do that.'' I couldn't help but tease him back, he sighs in content, happy to have us back.
''I'm- confused, what the fuck is going on?'' Sebastian calls.
''If you want, you can make them forget, Y/n.'' Chuck announces, a valley of yelling and protests wash over me from the Supernatural cast.
''Can I? It could be for the best...'' I trail off, the cast look at me with hurt in their eyes, I decide to communicate with Rob through his head.
'Rob' He looks around, alarmed. 'I'm in your mind, don't panic'
'How could you? I know you aren't meant to be here but please don't make me forget you' I could hear the pain within him.
'I won't completely, you'll know me, but not as who I am. You will know me as your colleague and friend, I'll visit you'
'I love you, I'm sorry I never said it' I heard his heart shatter.
'I love you too, maybe we can develop something in the future' Maybe I was asking too much of myself, maybe not.
''You ready to go back?'' Chuck waltzes toward me and Gabriel. ''Other angels want to see you, I can hear them, it's rather annoying.'' I smile at the thought of seeing them all again, this time knowing who they are to me.
''I think so.'' I turn back to say my goodbyes.
''Misha, you are one of the most genuine and kind people this Earth can offer, I'm so happy I met you.'' I move forward to hug him, channelling my power, as soon as I leave this plane it will activate- leaving them in the state they were before.
''Mr. Sheppard, you smarmy bastard, never change. The world couldn't take it. I'll see you soon.'' I step forward to hug him.
''My, my, Pellegrino, a tear? Not going soft on me, are you?'' He shakes his head, rolling his eyes at me. ''I'll miss you and your karaoke.'' I hug him, he holds on a little longer, refusing to let me go. I look at him with sad eyes, before turning to Sebastian.
''You and your attitude Roche, you're such a light person, you'll see me again and I promise you that. Keep up the humour, you're not yourself without it.'' I hug him, ejecting a powerful wave.
''Richard, I will admit you are my best friend, even when you're trying to sleep with everything that walks. Take care of Robbie for me, I won't be too long before my next visit, so hold on.'' I grip him in my arms, pulling gently on his beard as we part, before getting mockingly swatted away.
I couldn't sat goodbye to Rob, looking at his disheartened face. ''R-Robbie-'' I tried not to cry, saying goodbye to so many friends is breaking me.
''I can't explain how much you mean to me, I love you, in every way you can imagine. I love you all.'' I hug Rob, not wanting to let go.
''Please don't go.'' His whimper makes me finally let out tears.
''I need to. I promise I'll return.'' I think about my next action, before deciding on it.
'Pull away if you don't want this.' I say to him, his head is swimming with agony.
Kissing him, very lightly, I feel tears mix on my lips. I pull away before I get too attached.
''Gonna miss you, so much.'' He whispers to me, clutching my shirt in his hands.
''I have to go, bye Benedict, till we meet again.'' I try to spin a comedic affect into my words, stepping away from my best friends.
Chuck holds out his hands, Gabriel and I connect to them. I shut my eyes, I can't face what I'm leaving behind. I feel a golden illumination against my shut eyelids.
It's not forever, but I will miss them.
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yan-twst · 4 years ago
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hey there! i love your work! can i request the dorm leaders + their darling dying? particularly if it was due to an accident, the dorm leader’s own actions/punishments, or even (if you’re comfortable writing about the topic) by their own hand? thank you! 💞 i hope you’re doing well ~
warnings: this is just dark like very dark and messed up! mentions of death, violence, abuse, blood, self harm- like, everything like that is here. on top of that general yandere warnings. this one is heavy on violence and abuse so please be careful when reading if this could affect you! (-。-;) also lots of mentions of stuff that could be potentially triggering to people with eating disorders!
riddle rosehearts
he didn't mean to. that's all he can think of as he watches his darling lay on the floor of his room, blood slowly pooling under them. he's shaking and hyperventilating- no he didn't mean to he didn't mean to hedidn'tmeantohedidn'tmeanto-
he feels like throwing up as he backs away. it was over so quickly- he just didn't mean to get so angry, but he did, and all it took was one swing of his staff against his darling's head and a sickening crack and now they're- they're-
he forces himself to search for a pulse, but his hands are shaking too hard. his darling can't die, this can't be real; he wouldn't ever hurt them badly...! but their body is slowly growing cold under his hands, and he's feeling sicker and sicker by the second
he wishes he could just die in their place- what did he do? when trey finds him sobbing over his darling's body, the third year assumes that riddle's darling collapsed and hit their head; riddle is too shaken to deny this. everyone in heartslabyul believed that his relationship was perfect, nobody would suspect he'd been the one to deliver the final blow: and it makes him sick
he stops eating, stops attending classes, and lets himself slowly waste away in his bed. it's bad enough that crowley considers sending him home, but trey quickly objects: the last thing riddle needs is his mother's treatment... everyone tries to help him cope, help him move on, but he just doesn't get better. he doesn't want to get better, not when the guilt is eating him alive.
he feels like his darling is watching him, even after their death. it's like a punch in the gut, thinking of all he did: he was a kidnapper and a manipulator and an abuser and he killed them, he killed his lover who he kept by his side by force- the thoughts make him even sicker. he's slowly wasting away, refusing food and water...
the only way to save him at this point would be a spell to make him forget his darling ever existed... and his friends are so desperate to at least save him- thinking that he's just a mourning lover who lost his beloved too quickly- that it's not too unreasonable to expect them to do so.
leona kingscholar
those close to him knew he didn't mind getting a bit... rough, with his beloved. whether it was the servants back at home, or ruggie who didn't want to get on leona's bad side, nobody interfered: after all, they always claimed they were fine and happy with leona! ... though most of the times leona was keeping a tight grip on theis shoulder as they spoke those words
it's nobody's shock when a mysterious deep scratch becomes seriously infected on them. both leona and his darling deny that he was the one who caused it- but... well, it's clear to those who knew of how violent leona could be when unhappy with his darling that he was the only possible culprit.
the fact leona has terrified his darling into complete submission and obedience now shows its deadly side, as it turns out they'd been hiding the highly infected scratch from him in fear of repercussions, and when medics have a look at it, his darling is at death's door. he barely has time to process what's happening, before his feverish darling just... passes away in their sleep, with no chance to even call a magic healer who could have helped
nobody has seek leona in worse shape before. he doesn't even attend the funeral, and he doesn't let anyone (not even ruggie) get near him- he appears like a feral beast, destroying anyone and anything that crosses his path. his mourning is destructive, and it doesn't take long for him to be called back home before he turns the whole savanaclaw dorm to sand
he's inconsolable, and he doesn't let anyone near. he knew very well that what he was doing to his darling- keeping them under his control by taking advantage of their fear, forcing them to play the part of the "happy lover" despite them being terrified of him- was wrong, but in the end, he loved them more than anything.
and in their own way, he knew they loved him: even when they had the chance, they never begged his brother or crowley for help... almost as if they believed he could change for the better. but he didn't, he essentially killed them.
he'll just isolate himself. go somewhere far away where he can misserably live the rest of his days alone. all he does is sleep and mourn, hunting to feel relief from his pain in the form of violence- but even then... he's just never coming back from this
azul ashengrotto
he just wanted to teach them a lesson. once again his darling had tried to escape him, to escape his love, even though they'd sworn to stay with him- even though they'd signed a contract promising to stay- so he'd punished them accordingly. after a painful, near-drowning dip in the freezing cold ocean, he'd just left them in the bathroom to cry and beg for mercy... but when he came back less than a day later, they were just... dead on the ground
hypothermia. his darling's blue fingers, their huddled up form as they tried to preserve heat in their last moments: he feels himself grow lightheaded and tears blur his vision as he picks up their cold, lifeless corpse. how...? it's too late when he notices the place where he left them: there's no towels, no hot water, and the temperature is cold. the fact his darling was just violently dragged around the freezing cold waters before- the fact they were already weak from being kept in captivity...
the twins arrive immediately when they hear azul's screams and wails coming from the bath. there's not even a chance to ask what happened: he's crying, sobbing as he apologises to his darling's cold, damp corpse. the eels quickly realize what's happening- and though upset, jade immediately volunteers to hide the corpse. they have to, or else they're all in serious trouble. floyd has to pretty much tear the corpse out of azul's grip.
azul feels like shit, he wishes he'd died in their place- but he doesn't want to be imprisoned. he didn't mean to- how could he ever want the person most important for him to die?! the general student body interprets his mourning and guilt as the reaction to his darling "mysteriously going mising"- each time someone tells him they hope that his beloved is found soon, he wishes he could just die on the spot
he doesn't have a will to take care of himself or the lounge anymore- all his duties fall onto Jade. watch what he eats? who cares- not him. he swings from eating whatever he wants to try and fill the void in his heart to going days on end without even leaving his bed- it's unhealthy and it's worrying, but... what can he do? he killed his darling, left them to die alone- he deserves nothing.
kalim al-asim
it's everything he feared, happening at once. just one time- one time- he takes his darling out to eat because they've been behaving so well and it's their anniversary- and they look so happy to be out of their chains and out of their room! and then- and then they take a bite of their food and it's nearly inmediate, they collapse and cough, and then it's over.
he should've known better. he HAD to know better. hadn't he been telling his darling the reason why they had to stay locked inside was for their safety? hadn't he promised he wouldn't allow them to be harmed? this- this had happened before with jamil, but jamil had lived. his darling died.
his guilt and pain are immeasurable. he cries during the funeral, loud enough that even his own family feels like they can't approach him. even jamil can't help but feel bad- even knowing all what kalim did to his darling. it's like the spark inside of him was extinguished, all his joy snuffed out
he commissions paintings and works of art of his late darling to an almost terrifying degree. he needs to keep them around, to keep something that makes him feel like they aren't gone, but everytime he gazes at the expensive oil paintings of his darling, he's crushed by pain and becomes as inconsolable as the day they died
there's no more parties. how could he possibly throw a party- no, how could he possibly dare search for happiness knowing what happened? he feels like he doesn't deserve comfort or joy. he turns down all of his friends and family's attempts to help. he feels like hurting and being misserable is the only way to make it up to his darling, even in death
he'll pretend to move on, for everyone's sake- it's painfully obvious he's faking his happiness, but... nobody knows what to do to help, so they just accept his poor acting. nobody brings up how he sleeps cuddled with golden chains (that only jamil knows were the ones used to keep his darling in their room), or how he keeps all his darling's belongings untouched like if they could return any day- in the same way nobody, not even jamil, acts like they notice the scars that appear on his skin, which was once unmarked.
vil schoenheit
he knew that using so much love potion had to have... some negative side effect. however, he saw it as a necessary side effect; his darling was just lost and needed a bit of help to love him! besides, he himself brewed the potion with the highest quality ingredients, and sure it was worrying that his darling was becoming resistant and needed larger and larger doses each time, but he never expected them to just... drop dead when he gave them their morning's dose of potion.
love potion overdose- now that was a way to die that didn't appear in any textbook. vil wouldn't be able to process the events: his darling just fainted, right? how silly! he'll just- he'll just tuck them into bed, they need beauty sleep, and he'll... and then he'll...
when he finally feels his darling's cold body, with no heartbeat as he places a hand on their chest, it feels like the world is falling around him. how was he supposed to know this could happen?! he tries as many healing and health potions as he can, but... in the end, he specializes in poisons, and his darling is already dead. it's merely a fool's errand
he cries. he crie and cries- how dare his darling die?! how dare they abandon him?! he wails until his eyes are red and puffy, until his makeup is ruined. he doesn't know what to do; he doesn't want anyone to see his darling like this. soon enough death will take its toll on their beauty- the thought makes him feel even worse.
just like how the dwarves in the ancient legend preserved the princes's body in a clear casket to admire her beauty even after death, vil will do exactly that. finding a spell to preserve his darling's body is exhausting, and he risks his own skin by losing sleep and stressing over it (he's running against the clock and he knows it. he has to hurry, before his darling's beauty fades), but he's successful
he keeps his darling- a corpse that won't decompose, their body cold but skin as soft as when they lived- in a glass casket in his room. everyday, he carefully does their makeup and dresses them up, still making them go through his skincare routine even after death. in all honesty, the routine is what manages to keep him from losing his mind; he doesn't see how misserable he is, desperately taking care of a corpse.
he has to work harder on his makeup now. no matter how much he tries, he can barely sleep: he tries so hard to push back the thoughts that plague his mind (the thoughts that tell him if he'd been a better lover his darling would be alive, that if he'd been better his darling would have loved him without the need of a potion, that he was the one harming them from the very start whenever he knowingly destroyed their self esteem so he could manipulate them with more ease)- everyone bites back comments in fear of invoking his anger, but... it's visible, how much he's suffering.
idia shroud
is this the gods' punnishment for his actions? does he just deserve nothing in life? he holds his darling's lifeless corpse in his hands and wails. he doesn't even know how they died- was it just too much? the isolation, the stress... he thought he was doing a good job at caring for them, but clearly he wasn't, was he?
he'll rebuild them- he'll bring them back. he doesn't care how unethical it is- he has to get his darling back. what were all his efforts up until now for? stalking, kidnapping his darling; was he truly about to throw away all that work? he wasn't- not at all
he tries his best to keep ortho in the darl about the truth. no, no- his darling is just... taking a nap. yes, a special nap, suspended in a mysterious blue fluid in a large tube in idia's room- just... a nap... of course the younger shroud doesn't believe this, but even the child can see the pain in idia's eyes and doesn't question further
it's because of ortho's concerns that idia doesn't spiral into absolute missery: otherwise, he doesn't even know if he'd have the will to keep living without his darling. the younger one cheers him on, telling him that he'll absolutely succeed! ... even if idia has low hopes on actually managing to artificially revive his darling, his brother's words keep him going
he takes to talking to his darling's corpse, suspended and preserved in the tube. he'll save them soon. he'll make it so they can walk around his room again- he even promises to let them go out if he just manages to finish the work- he just has to work harder. he needs to work more.
he has no clue how long it'll take him, or if he'll even succeed. but he has to keep going. there's only two things keeping him alive- ortho, and the need to hold his darling again. he needs them. he has to get them back.
malleus draconia
there's always a level of risk when applying a sleeping curse, of course. he knows this very well, but he trusts his magic. he knows he's good at what he does; so why has his darling's heart stopped beating...?
he'd grown so used to simply casting the spell when he went to class and undoing it when he returned, he almost missed the change and left for class. but he did notice- when he cast the spell, instead of falling into a peaceful sleep... his darling seemeed to jerk awake for a second, then close their eyes: and after that, he couldn't see the rise and fall of their chest. a nervous hand pressed against their chest, and found no heartbeat
he's lost and scared. suddenly, he doesn't feel like Malleus Draconia, ruler of the dark fae- suddenly he feels like he's a little baby again, crying because he's scared of thunder. all he can do is fall back in shock and call for lilia- please. please come help him. he made a mistake.
lilia can comprehend very well what happened. the sleeping spell failed- perhaps malleus' darling was too frail, their constitution worsened by the constant sleep and captivity. there's nothing the ancient fae can do: once death has taken a human, they're gone. all he can do is hug malleus, to try and comfort him like he used to when the dark fae was a child.
malleus knew that humans had short lifespans. lilia had warned him about this, about the pain human lovers would bring; that was one of the reasons why he'd brought his darling to his dorm and forbidden them from leaving, so he could do the most with the time they had. and yet- even for a human, this was too soon. far too soon. how could life be so cruel? how could he lose the one person who understood him and loved him? perhaps everyone was right to steer away from him. perhaps he did just bring misfortune wherever he went
lilia, silver, and sebek can only watch as malleus becomes lonelier than ever. the dark fae has rarely mourned before- and even though lilia is trying his best to guide the young lord through the process of grieving, malleus is just not taking it well at all. he killed his beloved- as much as his dormmates try to convince him it was a freak accident, that he had no hand in it, he knows better. perhaps what hurts him the most is his darling's peaceful face after they passed- they never held such an expression around him, not since he took them captive... were they so happy to have escaped him, even if it meant death?
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queenwitchrowena · 4 years ago
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☽〇☾ — ROWENA MACLEOD
❝ she wore her scars as her best attire, a stunning dress made of hellfire.❞ ☽〇☾  —  AESTHETICS
BELIEFE IN PROPHECY AND MAGIC OLD AS TIME  — WINTER SOLSTICE ORGIES  — BACKLESS FLOOR LENGTH GOWNS AS CASUAL WEAR —  WINGED EYELINER SHARP ENOUGH TO CUT YOU  — FINDING REDEMPTION AND MEANING IN UNEXPECTED PLACES
☽〇☾  — CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Rowena MacLeod Nickname: Ro (To a few people.) Age: 378 appears mid to late 30’s  (spent an additional 190 years in Hell) D.O.B.:  1643 Place of birth: Isle of Skye, Scotland Gender: Cis Female Species: Human/Witch (Natural) Height: 5’2” / 157 cm Weight: 110lbs / 50kg Eye color: Green Hair color: Vivid red copper Relationship Status: It’s always complicated and often fake. Sexuality: Sexually Progressive Powers: Innate magic, learned spell work, ability to create spell work. Weaknesses: Overestimating herself, pride, volatile anger, recklessness Occupation: Witch / Con Artist / Hunter Consultant / Queen of Hell Weapons: Hex Bags, spells, natural magic, Voodoo dolls, crystals, potions, alchemy, manipulation. She is capable of using traditional weapons such as knives and guns when necessary.
Personality: Rowena is intelligent, ambitious, proud, manipulative, Machiavellian, petty, sarcastic, reckless, often self serving, hateful, seductive. She resents anyone who dares to have authority over her. She flirts like mad with people, often for fun, often for her own gain. When she is on someone’s side she can be sweet, calm, warm, and courteous. When she has labeled someone as completely useless, unfortunately in her way, or an enemy, she can be ruthlessly vicious and violent. People that cross her may find themselves in various precarious situations up to and including violent deaths.
Rowena is hard to get to know deeply, she builds walls to keep people from hurting her, not just physically, but emotionally. She is never quite able to be rid of the parts of her that fear and loathe her past. She has always been a dreamer. She is slowly learning to trust and value people and loyalty, even if she might deny it.
Likes: People who can do something for her, knowledge, power, money, magic, Winchesters and their pet angels (though she will not state that out loud), creating her own spells, her son (not that she wants to, she hates him because it’s easier for her), flirting, elegant states of dress, stability, freedom.
Dislikes: Authority over her, being used, baring her feelings, feelings, weakness, abandonment, her own desperation, her past, swallowing her pride, not controlling a situation, being underestimated, being undervalued, people denying their own abilities with magic, most hunters, most other witches, her son lol, most demons, anything that makes her appear unsophisticated, limits.
Appearance: Rowena is a slim petite woman. Pale skin that burns and freckles if she doesn’t stay out of the sun or apply some sort of charm. She keeps her fiery red hair long, with fringe, and alternates between letting it curl naturally or straightening it. She wears it both up and down.
Her clothing choices tend to learn towards the impractical and formal. Long sleeve floor length gowns, dresses, heels, and assorted jewelry. She wears bold winged eyeliner and often bright and shimmery eyeshadow looks, bold red and coral lipsticks. Rowena may occasionally wear something that makes her blend in a bit better, stylish slacks and blouses, sometimes a suit jacket. She never appears not put together if it’s within her control.
Rowena has a number of scars on her body made by the insertion of spell work in the form of hex bags. There is a scar on her outer right thigh, one on the left side above her breast, and one on her left hip above the bone. She also has very faint stretch marks on her belly from pregnancy.
☽〇☾  —  BACKSTORY
Rowena MacLeod was born the daughter of a Tanner in 17th century Scotland. She was one of several children born to her parents.
Her mother did not follow witchcraft, her father forbid it, he was a strict man. But she knew that she was born a witch and that magic ran innately through her. She was forced to not speak of it, though she couldn’t always control it. Even without training or knowing the right words, Rowena could speak things into happening given enough passion.
She was different from most of her siblings, the only other one who was capable of magic was an older brother, Fergus, though he too was made to tamp it down. He died when they were still young. A fever took three more of her siblings in childhood, and her mother was often absent or in her own head after that.
When Rowena was 15 she fell in love with a charming wealthy married man. He promised her that he’d take her away and that they would be together. When she was 16 she found herself unwed and pregnant. Her father threw her out in shame, and though her lover housed her in the village after, he did not visit nearly as often after. She knew later his promises were all lies.
He came to see her only once more, on the eve of their son’s birth. It was a long and hard birth and it was said that she wouldn’t make it. Her lover kissed her on the forehead and told her that he loved her. It was his last kindness. He left her there, dying, penniless, and went back to his wife and other children, expecting her death. Though Rowena managed to make it through, weak as she was, with a healthy son to show for it. She named him after the brother that she had been closest to.
Afterwards, baby Fergus’ father denied ever knowing Rowena at all. She was alone, with a child she couldn’t help but desperately love, cast out of her family for her sin of bearing a child outside of marriage, and labeled a whore by everyone else.
She sought to use her magic, thinking it would be what would save them. But what little she could do only earned her a worse reputation. Rowena was forced to take her baby and leave, she thought elsewhere she might be able to tell people that she had been widowed, but it hardly mattered. She had nothing and no one, and a baby to care for. Life was hard for them. Rowena was often unable to provide even the most basic things for her child. With her reputation she couldn’t find any reputable work. Instead, she sold her body to pay for what meager little she could to keep a roof over their heads. And she learned what she could of magic from wherever she could.
She did her best for her son, taught him what she could, and tried to shield him from what she was. Until he grew to look more and more like his father, the man who had broken her heart.
She could barely look at him, the boy she loved, that only served to remind her of what she hated about her life. She wasn’t a good enough mother, he was the reason she was forced to scrape to get by. She couldn’t help but tell herself those things. And she couldn’t help but tell him in fits of anger.
When he was 8 and devoid of all the pretty baby fat of youth, Rowena was caught and about to be tried for her crimes as a witch. Before that could happen, she left her son in the care of a workhouse, unable to keep him with her. She told herself she would be back, but she had nothing to offer him, and he was a painful thing to look at. The personification of a wound never closed. At a certain point she knew that she had been gone too long and made up every reason she could to justify it.
She found the opportunity to study under the great Milanese witch Leticia D’Albioni, and soon after that she finally joined the ranks of the Grand Coven. The Grand Coven were critical of Rowena having a child with a “non-magic”, but they were willing to overlook this because of the great talent she possessed. However, her immense raw skill and recklessness with extreme witchcraft made them wary of her. This eventually led to her being hexed by the coven with a binding spell that restrained her magic, as well as being banned from performing magic, taking on students, or forming her own coven.
Rowena didn’t stop using her then limited powers when possible, still stronger than many witches, but she did fear the Grand Coven and their worldwide reach for centuries. She stayed off their radar as much as possible, learning where she could, and managing to take care of herself in other ways when necessary. She’d dodge the occasional run in with other witches, demons, hunters, The British Men of Letters.
300 years later, Rowena resurfaced, recently run out of the UK by a member of the British men of Letters. And with a goal in mind, intending to reclaim her lost power and start a coven of her own to do so.
It wasn’t until she learned that her son, who should have long been gone and forgotten, was reborn as the demon Crowley and King of Hell, that she was set on a new vicious path.
She reinserted herself into Fergus’ life. (Refusing to call him by his newer chosen name, though she would never explain to him what the name meant to her.) Rowena attempted to use her son for his position of power to help her with the Grand Coven. Aware of her manipulations, her son assisted anyway and captured the head of the Grand Coven, Olivette, for her. Tortured by Rowena, Olivette revealed the Grand Coven was much-diminished in its power because of a concerted campaign against witches by the Men of Letters. After learning this Rowena sought again to put together her own coven, something far greater than what the Grand Coven was, though she was met with either disinterest or thwarted plans. Still, she remained by her sons side in hopes that his power would be useful to her.
This led to frequently recurring encounters with the Winchester brothers and those that surround them. Sometimes on opposite sides, sometimes as allies.
See here for further detailed information.
☽〇☾  —  POST SEASON 15 EPISODE 3
Rowena expected to die and have her body eventually deteriorate and release the souls that she carried with her, back to hell where they belonged. Instead she found herself dead, but with an incredible amount of power stored within her from the souls that she absorbed. As she arrived in Hell by her own choice, Rowena is able to take control of Hell’s throne through the use of her still in tact magical abilities, and fear.
She is a powerful soul inhabiting her own body, though technically still dead, and has never become a demon.
As ruler, she immediately shut down all demon deals and overhauled hell to work the way that she wanted it to. Her opinion is that humans do plenty of things to put themselves in Hell, no need to assist the process. People will end up where the ought to.
☽〇☾  —  CURRENT
Since her arrival in Lebanon, Kansas, and once again a member of the living, Rowena has returned to reside in the Men of Letters bunker with the Winchester brothers.
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edda-blattfe · 5 years ago
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Twisted Wonderland: Movie based headcanons pt.2
(This list is comprised of headcanons for the main villains based off of skills/habits/& personalities of their movie counterparts. This means that characters such as Ace Trappola, Ortho Shroud, Jack Howl, and Sebek Zigvolt (characters without a clear counterpart) will not be included. Characters based off of ones with little personal info may also not be included. Admittedly, I mainly used the Disney wiki to gather this info. Btw, did y’all know Jafar has a twin sister who’s also a necromancer? He was also supposed to have grown up on the streets, like Aladdin, but it was cut from the final film; I wish it hadn’t been, that’s a fantastic parallel!)
Jamil Viper:
- I hope y’all like sadistic psychopaths, ‘cause that’s Jamil in a nut shell. He appears calm and collected most of the time, making sure to sport a somewhat friendly smile in order to appear somewhat approachable to other students; never assume this means he’ll allow anyone to all over him, Kalim not included. Crossing this boy is a great way to end up in an “unfortunate accident” during practice or chemistry. It’s frightening how easy it is for him to cause such things without feeling even a smidge of guilt, but certainly effective.
- He holds a lot of resentment for Kalim and his family for subjugating the Viper line, making it difficult, if not impossible, for them to ascend beyond their current social class. Jamil aims to change that reality. He hungers for power and has found that it is attainable through his relationship with Kalim. The young aristocratic depends on his aid so much now that Jamil could probably do just about anything he wanted...in exchange for having to babysit Kamil 24/7.
- Actually a pretty punny person! Jamil has a witty, dare I say puntastic, sense of humor; you can tell he’s in a good mood by the amount of them he slips into a conversation. During magic tests he’ll say things like ,I’m just getting fired up,” before launching a fire based attack or, “I’ll just have to blow you away,” for an air one. Kalim finds puns cringey, but laughs just to humor his friend.
Vil Schoenheit:
- Manipulative af. When Vil wants something, he will get it, and is brilliant at convincing others to help him do so. Sometimes it’s through flattery, others, blackmail, and, most often, good old fashioned peer pressure. It’s not always used for the wrong reasons, mind you. If you were able to get him to a farmers market or some establishment where bargaining is still useful, he’d be very influential in getting you a good deal on any item.
- This one isn’t surprising in the least, but he thoroughly enjoys admiring himself in the mirror. In fact, he loves it so much that the Pomefiore dormitory is filled with mirrors. Hopefully the dorm windows never face the sun, otherwise anyone will be blinded by the brightness of the rays reflecting off the reflective surfaces.
- Vil is obsessively meticulous, and a little bit of a control freak. If something has a place it needs to be returned there after its use, failure to do so...well, it’s not pretty. His chemistry measurements are always precise and he’s always sure to read the fine print.
Idia Shroud:
- Idia is pyrokinetic, not to the level of being op though. His abilities have limitations when he’s not using a wand. Definitely has a leg up in fire based spells.
- He’s actually has a bit of a temper, but never shows it in public. Maybe if you demolish a computer in front of him....yeah, that might bring it out.
- Has three aunts; one remembers everything since the moment she was born, another acts like she knows exactly what everyone should be doing with their lives, and the last swears she can kill people just by cutting a piece of thread. Idia thinks they're all nuts and need to be institutionalized.
Leona Kingscholar:
- He loaths the song "It's a Small World" with a firey passion; sing it to him if you're craving a knuckle sandwich.
- Other than marital arts, he's a talented actor. Dude can convincingly fake cry and quote Shakespeare! Too bad Night Raven doesn't have a drama department....or do they? (Does the cafe have poetry night? Cause Leona would love that!)
Maleus Draconia:
- Has a pet crow back home named Damian. He cares more about that bird than most everyone else in his life. (Yeah, yeah, I know Crowley is probably based off of Diablo, but the damn bird is one of the few things villain Maleficent canonically cares about. Let the boy have his bird, damnit!)
- Mal has a habit of referring to his underclassmen as his "pets" along with many other demeaning nicknames.
- Look, the man is a sadist at heart. Why no one is taking advantage of this fact, I have no clue!
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ineffably-good · 5 years ago
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Flufftober #4: Candles
It was a fact universally acknowledged that demons hated Halloween – it was downright insulting, all those kids running around dressed up as red-faced demons with their ridiculous horns and their plastic pitchforks, and the cute little ghosts. Real ghosts weren’t cute, they were bloody horrifying. It was a day when most actual demons preferred to hole up in Hell and do something productive, like pull the wings off flies and drink antifreeze until they passed out.
Angels, however, tended to enjoy Halloween, and, to Crowley’s mind, one angel in particular was the epitome of this tacky, cheesy holiday. Aziraphale enjoyed every second of it, from the decorating to the silly costumes to the handing out candy to any child intrepid enough to knock on the door of that strange bookseller who anchored the corner of the block.
This year, however, Aziraphale was at a bit of a loss. Crowley had forbidden him to have candles any more after the shop burned down, and having already disrespected that command once with dire results, he didn’t dare do it again. Still, he had to admit that it just wasn’t the same without candles to put inside his carved pumpkins.
However, he had no desire to restart the particular fight that sneaking candles into the shop again would cause, so he tried to think creatively.
He ended up using a little bit of his own heavenly glow – carefully siphoned off and balled up and placed inside each of the four pumpkins he’d carved and placed around the shop – but the energy depletion from that was significant. Still, needs must, and he left it in place to show Crowley that night.
“You look tired,” the demon said on coming in from whatever business he’d been attending to around the neighborhood. “What have you been doing?”
“Oh, just decorating!” Aziraphale said. He glanced outside to make sure it had gotten adequately dark, then ushered Crowley over to a chair set facing out of his office towards the center of the shop. “Now watch!” he commanded.
Aziraphale snapped and all the lights went off in the shop, leaving a single glowing jackolantern at each of the four cardinal points in the middle of the store. He’d carved them into the most horrifying faces he could think of (with a little magical help) and placed each of them on a plinth from which another statue had recently been removed.
It didn’t flicker like candlelight, but it did create lovely and ominous pools of golden light and shadows.
Crowley whistled appreciatively. “Wow, angel,” he said. “Those are really good! Did you make all those today?”
Aziraphale nodded, leaning a bit on the back of Crowley’s chair as his vision swam. “Yes indeed! Quite fierce, aren’t they?”
Crowley took another look. “Oh my lord, is that Hastur’s face on that one?” he said, pointing to the western plinth.
Aziraphale grinned. “And look –“ he pointed south. “That one’s Gabriel.”
Crowley threw back his head and laughed. “You’re such a bastard, angel. I love you.”
Aziraphale took a step around the chair to hug Crowley back and stumbled a little, landing heavily on one knee on the floor. The lights flipped back on in the shop and he felt two strong arms catch him and right him carefully, and worried gold eyes assessing him.
“What’s wrong, angel?” Crowley said, guiding him down into the chair. He crouched in front of him and looked him in the eyes. “Are you injured? Ill?”
Aziraphale shook his head a little. “No, I’m just – a little fatigued, is all. Used some of my essence to light up the pumpkins and it’s taking a surprising amount of effort to keep it all separated and lit.”
Crowley goggled at him. “You did WHAT?”
“Well,” Aziraphale said carefully, “I would normally use candles… but…”
Crowley groaned. “You’re telling me you actually siphoned off four little balls of your inner essence – essentially split four small pieces off your actual soul – and are using it to light up your Halloween decorations? Of all the stupid –” He paused and ran a hand over his face.
Aziraphale looked stubborn. “I can do it.”
“Can and should are two different things, angel. How long have they been burning?”
“About five hours,” the angel admitted.
“Pull them back,” Crowley snapped. “Right now. That is the most ridiculous waste of ethereal matter and energy that I’ve ever heard of.”
Aziraphale sighed, not really having the strength to argue right now, but he did wave a hand tiredly in the air and four small balls of light came flying back to him and were absorbed straight into his chest.
“Oh that does feel better,” he said, rolling his shoulders in relief. He took a quick look at Crowley, assessing. “Don’t be cross, dear, please. I was just trying to adhere to our agreement.”
Crowley frowned at him. “In a stupid way.”
Aziraphale sighed. “Perhaps,” he agreed. “But honestly, have you seen the monstrous alternative?” He walked over to the desk and pulled a small packet out of a drawer. He tossed it at Crowley.
Crowley caught it in one hand and examined its contents. Inside he found small, battery-operated LED candles, each the size of a tea light.
“LED candles? You’re up in arms about LED candles?”
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Aziraphale huffed. “Fake candles? I know I’m not the biggest fan of modern technology to begin with, but you have to admit that these things are a – are a bloody travesty!”
Crowley paused in surprise to hear the angel swearing. He almost never did. He had to admit, though, that the pretend candles were rather pathetic. The demon walked over and placed one in each of the pumpkins, turned them on, and flicked the lights off again. A patchy, weak glow emanated from each of them, and he had to admit the result was simply sad.
Aziraphale stared at them, crestfallen. “Woo,” he said, his voice flat. “Spooky.”
Crowley folded his arms across his chest and stared at his angel, taking in his slumped shoulders and his complete lack of enthusiasm, and although he was trying to be stern, he felt an absurd flash of love and fondness for his ridiculous angel. He took a moment to decide if he was being subtly manipulated, and decided he was not. Aziraphale wasn’t asking him for anything, and he didn’t get the feeling he had set this scenario up with any hidden agenda. He was simply trying to do the right thing. Sweet, innocent little bastard.
“All right, all right,” Crowley sighed. “I’m willing to compromise with you.”
Aziraphale frowned and looked up, clearly confused.
Crowley made a snapping, pulling motion from the ground up and materialized four candles in mason jars. “You can use these. Just for Halloween.”
Aziraphale lit up like a kid who just got a king sized candy bar during trick or treat. “Really, my dear?”
“Only inside the pumpkins, and they stay in the jars.” Crowley warned.
“Of course, of course!” Aziraphale jumped up and went to start placing each jar, wiggling happily.
“And never unattended,” Crowley said, sternly.
“Undoubtedly, my dear!” Aziraphale said, finishing up his ministrations on the last pumpkin.
Crowley couldn’t keep the sappy grin off his face as the angel set to work lighting up each candle. It was so easy to delight Aziraphale; he was just so damn appreciative. Crowley had long ago realized that he was, effectively, completely wrapped around the angel's little finger, unable to deny him nearly anything in his hunger for those happy smiles the angel offered him in return for any kindness. He was doomed to perform acts of service, completely of his own free will, just because of how it warmed him to see the angel light up like a neon sign. He was, possibly, the worst demon in the history of the world.
Aziraphale stood up, wiping his hands off, and flicked the lights off. The flickering, golden glow lit up both of their faces with stripes of light and shadow.
“Ohhhhhh,” Aziraphale breathed. “That’s so much better!” He turned and tackled the demon with a startlingly enthusiastic hug. “Thank you my dear!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Crowley said, embarrassed. “You’re welcome. Now, got any candy around here? Let’s get high on sugar.”
The angel grinned and took his hand to lead the way to this year’s hidden candy stash.
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bazzledazzled · 6 years ago
Text
Fuel for Disaster- Chapter 1
Summary: Simon Snow only wanted to be Baz’s fake boyfriend to get back at his extremely homophobic father. That was the only reason (and to find out what he was plotting).
It wasn’t like he was actually going to fall in love with him.
Comments: Thank you so much to @dragonsandgayvampires and @abbie-the-unicorn for editing this! I’ve been desperate for a Snowbaz fake dating AU so here we are
Trigger Warning: Homophobia
Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
read it on ao3
“I just don’t understand, Basil.” A voice says from behind the door.
“Don’t understand what?” Baz roars. Simon has never heard Baz roar. Baz might be a self centered prick, but he always kept his emotions in check. Simon could get him pretty riled up, but never like this. 
Maybe it would be better if there was some context. There’s a week every year at Watford where parents are allowed to come and visit the students to see how things are going. Typically, only first years ever really got a visit, but something seemed to have piqued Baz’s dad’s interest that caused him to pay a visit. 
Honestly, Simon shouldn’t be eavesdropping. Something about this conversation seemed too personal, Baz didn't even seem to share his secrets with his friends. Were Dev and Niall his friends? Baz doesn’t seem to treat them that way.... 
“Why you would choose this! You know how important presentation is to this family.” Baz scoffs. 
“Being gay is not a choice!” Yep, definitely way too personal. Simon should leave. He really should. 
“You just haven’t found the right girl yet, Baz,” Baz’s dad says, sounding almost annoyed. And tired, as if this was a conversation they had many times before. Simon could practically hear Baz’s nostrils flare through the door. He even saw it in his mind, with his perfect brows drawn together angrily. The look in his grey eyes would be absolutely vicious, like a viper rearing back to bite. 
“Father. I am seventeen. When are you going to realize that this isn’t a phase?” The tone of Baz’s voice... it’s so dejected. He sounds like he’s lost all hope, like he’s drowning. He sounds like he’s been drowning for years, calling out for help but nobody has ever come. 
“Baz. I don’t know what kind of teenage rebellion you think this is, but you are never, under any circumstances, going to have a boyfriend.” There’s a moment of tense silence. Simon knows what Baz is doing. He’s calculating his best move. 
“Try and stop me, father. Just. Try.” 
Simon is about to turn away and leave when the door bursts open. In the doorway is Baz’s dad. 
Baz’s dad is a whole new brand of terrifying. Honestly, Simon isn’t too surprised considering Baz, but Baz’s dad holds something even more unsettling. Simon’s heart pounds in his chest. 
“Simon Snow,” He says, sounding disinterested. Simon squeaks, but he never gets to stutter out a reply. Mr. Grimm-Pitch pushes past him, walking down the hall as if nothing happened. As if he hadn’t just gotten in a huge argument with his son. 
Simon walks into the room, not sure what to expect. Somehow he was both surprised and not surprised to find Baz with a bored expression on his face as he opened a book. It was almost  as if the conversation didn’t phase him. Honestly, Simon started to wonder if it was even real. 
Simon had a tendency to get himself into messes, which may have led him to where he’s at now, pulling at his curls as a crazy plot brews in his head. 
A few hours later, after Baz had left to go do vampire things and came back to find Simon “sleeping,” the sniffles began to start. 
At first, Simon wasn’t sure he was hearing correctly. Eight years, and he’s never heard Baz cry once. It had to be in his head. 
But then the sniffles came again, and Simon knew that he wasn’t imagining it. 
“Baz are you crying?” Simon tries not to sound like he’s mocking him, but his voice sounds so indifferent that Baz takes it the wrong way. 
“Fuck off, Snow.” Simon sits up on his bed, reaching over to turn on a lamp. He grunts at the way the light stings his eyes. 
Baz is facing away from Simon, all scrunched up in a ball. His shoulders are hunched and his hair is a disaster. He looks so unlike Baz. He looks so vulnerable. 
“Hey,” Simon says, hitting Baz lightly with a pillow. That gets him to sit up. He flashes Simon the most vicious glare, but it doesn’t really work when his eyes are so red and puffy. 
“What do you want, Snow?” Baz sounds tired.  “What’s wrong?” Simon says seriously. Baz looks down, kicking his feet against his bed, a frown on his face.  “It’s none of your business,” Baz snaps.  “Course it is! I’m your roommate and you’re crying!”  “Since when do you care?” Baz hisses viciously. Simon groans.  “Merlin why are you such a prick?” Silence falls across the room. Baz isn’t crying anymore, but Simon still doesn’t want to leave this alone.  “Is this about your dad?” Baz’s head whips up so fast that Simon isn’t sure how he didn’t break it.  “What?” Simon leans back a little. He probably should stop. It’s not a good idea to piss off your deadly, evil, vampire roommate. But his brain doesn’t seem to be getting the message.  “I overheard you and your dad arguing earlier.” Baz sneers, like he isn’t bothered by that. But after years of looking for any emotion in Baz’s eyes, Simon knows that it’s bothering him a lot more than he’s letting on.  “So what, Snow? You’re going to spread rumors that I’m gay as well as a vampire?” Baz doesn’t even sound scared. He just sounds done.  “What— no. No that’s not what I—“ Baz huffs, standing up. He starts to make for the door, but Simon darts up and blocks his path.  “I wouldn’t do that,” Simon says, looking Baz in the eye. They’re close. They’ve been this close before, but for some reason this feels more intimate. It causes a blush to rise up into Simon’s cheeks.  “What do you want from me, Snow?” Baz says, crossing his arms. Simon doesn’t know what he wants.  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Simon’s voice drops low. Baz’s lowers to match.  “Tell you what? That I’m gay? That my father is a homophobic arsehole? That he doesn’t think I can find a boyfriend that will actually love me? Crowley Snow, these are things I’d prefer not to share with my half-wit roommate.”  “I’m sorry.”  “Sorry for what, Snow?” Baz says, sounding exasperated. Simon straightens, pulling himself up to his fullest hight. It doesn’t help, though. Baz is still taller.  “I’m sorry your father’s an arsehole. He doesn’t have any right to hate you because of who you’re attracted to.”  “Thanks Snow.” Baz doesn’t sound thankful. He just sounds pissed off.  Simon sighs, stepping aside. Baz glares at him, then walks swiftly out the door, shutting it behind him.  Simon sinks into his bed, his thoughts filling with Baz (which wasn’t too abnormal). 
In the care homes, there were sometimes boys and girls who would come in after being kicked out of the place they called home for so long. They were the kindest and sweetest people, but everyone always judged them. They were judged because they liked guys instead of girls and girls instead of guys and everything in-between. They were tossed aside because they felt like more of a guy than a girl or a girl than a guy. They were rejected, just like Simon, because they were different.  And Simon hated it. He hated that Baz was going through the same thing with his father. He hated how much it made Baz lose all of his control.  Simon hated to admit it, but he hated how heartbroken Baz sounded. Like he actually believed his father when he said a boy would never love him like that (especially considering Baz was, well, Baz).  Simon sat straight up in his bed, his eyes wide. It was crazy, and definitely would probably get him into trouble later. He wasn’t even sure if Baz would agree, but maybe, maybe....  Maybe it was time to prove Baz’s dad wrong. 
Baz was hoping he’d walk in to the room to find Simon sleeping soundly without a care in the world, but he should’ve known better than to hope. Simon was frustratingly stubborn and apparently this was something that bothered him enough to wait up. In any other situation, Baz may have felt touched, his idiotic feelings going wild, but right now he just wanted to let it go. 
“Baz,” Simon says, looking at a loss. And also adorable. Merlin, why was he always so adorable?  Baz raises an eyebrow.  “That is my name.” Baz hopes he looks as cool and collected as he thinks he does as he looks down at Simon.  “I had an idea.”  “Brilliant. Try not to kill me while you’re at it,” Baz says, tugging off his shoes. Simon scrunches his hands in his curls.  “I think I know how to get back at your father.” Baz huffs, sitting down on his bed.  “Snow, I’m not interested in—“  “I’ll be your boyfriend.” Baz isn’t sure he heard Simon correctly. His vampire senses allowed him to hear a lot more than a normal person, but in no universe would Simon Snow ever want to be Baz’s boyfriend.  “What?” Simon stands, walking over to Baz’s bed. Baz’s breath hitches as Simon sits down.  “You’re going home for Christmas, right?”  “Yes?” Simon is shifting anxiously and his magic is pouring out of him. Baz almost takes him by the shoulders and tells him to breathe, but he doesn’t.  “How about you invite me over for Christmas and I pretend to be your boyfriend to prove your father wrong.” Simon Snow is an absolute idiot. Why did Baz like him so much?  “And how do you propose we do that?” Simon huffs, pulling at his hair even more. His curls are thoroughly rumpled.  “Your dad said that you could never be in love with a boy and that a boy could never be in love with you, right?” Baz looks at him suspiciously.  “Right...”  “So... we prove him wrong by acting like we’re in love.”
“Snow... we’re enemies. You’re the Mage’s foster son who has been out to get the families since as long as I can remember. Plus, I don’t take you to be that great of an actor.” 
“I can pretend to be in love with you.”  “Sure, Snow. And you can ace all your classes without Bunce.” Simon glares.  “I can.” Baz’s lip curls.  “Prove it.” Something shifts in Simon’s expression. Suddenly he’s moving closer to Baz and Baz feels his heart stutter in his chest. He twines his fingers through Baz’s, smiling up at him with the dopiest grin Baz has ever seen. For a moment, Baz thinks Simon might kiss him and he feels like he can’t breathe.  “Baz,” Simon says, smiling a little when he says his name. He whispers it like it’s a secret that he only wants Baz to hear. It makes Baz’s head is buzzing and he feels like Simon is about to go off, filling the room with his magic and making everyone feel drunk. Except he isn’t drunk on Simon’s magic.
“You look really pretty tonight.” Merlin and Morgana this is going to be terrible.
Simon must be better at this whole flirting thing than he thought.
That was odd to think about. Him, flirting with Baz. Simon didn’t even like guys, but he sure as hell was making Baz blush the tiniest.
“AHA! You’re blushing!” Simon says, sounding proud. Baz scowls at him, but a light pink dusts his cheeks.
“That’s moronic, Snow.” Simon snorts.
“Admit it, Baz. I’m a good flirt.”
“What you are is an idiot.” Baz won’t look at Simon directly and that’s all it takes for Simon to know that he’s won this argument.
“But…” Baz sighs, letting go of Simon’s hands. Simon forgot that he was holding him. “Maybe you are a little better than I anticipated.”
 “Did THE Basilton Grimm-Pitch just admit that he was wrong?” Baz glares at Simon, who bursts out in laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation.  Baz scowls.
 “You done?” He says when Simon finally calms down. Simon takes a deep breath.
 “Do we have a deal?” Baz’s nostrils flare.
 “Why are you doing this, Snow. You have nothing to gain.” But Simon had everything to gain. He got to prove a bully wrong and maybe get close enough to Baz to find out what he was plotting.
 Thinking about it now, Simon was starting to think that was the real reason. If he kept close, maybe he could figure Baz out. Maybe he could understand what he’s plotting.
 “Because I want to. I don’t have anywhere to go for the holidays anyways.” Baz takes a deep breath.
 “Fine.” Simon doesn’t know why this makes him so happy. He feels his heart swell as he smiles widely. At first he thinks it might be a mistake, but when the pink tinge comes back to Baz’s cheeks, well, Simon decides to count it as a win.
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andonewillbringhisfall · 7 years ago
Text
I Wanted It to be Real
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Chapter 5
I’ve been through a breakup once before, with Agatha. It was right at the beginning of the school year, when she said she thought we loved each other as friends, not as something else. I didn’t have to think about the way I should react at the time, how upset I should be, what I should say, because I’d already known for years that we were going to be endgame.
It turned out I was wrong.
I don’t have to think about it now, even though I should. I haven’t done this before, breaking up with someone over a fight, going back to hating someone I should have hated all along. It’s not hard, acting like I’m mad at Baz. It’s not the first time.
Penny is unusually quiet when I tell her about the fake breakup. Agatha rushes to console me, offering hugs and extra dessert and a shoulder to cry on if I want it. I have to keep reminding her that we were never really dating, and the breakup was staged, so of course I don’t need any of those things.
I go back to glaring at Baz across the dining hall. I expect him to sit by himself, at least at first, but he goes right back to Dev and Niall’s table.
The first time he sits with them, I almost drop my fork on the floor. ‘They let him back?’ I say.
Penny glances not-so-subtly behind her. ‘Dev and Niall?’
‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘I thought he’d be kicked out of their gang. I’m the Mage’s Heir, and everything,’ I say, rolling my eyes.
‘He can’t be kicked out of their gang,’ Aggie reasons. ‘He’s the leader. I’ve heard him call them his minions.’
I huff. (Not that I’m surprised.) (What a tosser.)
‘Maybe he told them it wasn’t real,’ Penny says.
But he can’t have, otherwise what was the point of it all? So unless the Old Families are more open-minded about dating the enemy than Baz had me think, he has to have made something up to get them to accept it. Maybe he’s told them something about me, or given them some information about the Mage and pretended he was just using me.
‘Simon,’ Agatha says, her hand on my arm. ‘You’re leaking.’
‘Sorry,’ I say, taking a deep breath, the glow around me fading.
I know he sees it from across the room. He doesn’t look at me, and he doesn’t eat, making snarky comments under his breath as the other two snicker, just as if nothing ever happened.
‘Simon.’ It’s Penny this time. ‘Magic.’
‘Sorry.’
I tear my gaze away from him.
 *
 People keep coming up to ask me if I’m okay.
‘I feel bad,’ I whine to Penny. ‘Everyone feels sorry for me, and it wasn’t even a real breakup.’
‘You do seem pretty upset,’ she says.
‘I know,’ I mumble. ‘I just thought things were different.’
Obviously, I was wrong.
I can’t stop watching him in classes when I should be paying attention. He’s moved back to his old spot in every classroom, sometimes at the front, sometimes sitting right behind me, always with Dev or Niall. He won’t even look at me unless I’ve been staring at him for too long, working myself up so my magic starts to fill the room, and then he’ll turn his head just enough for me to see his lip curl. It’s just like before, and I hate it.
‘He’s supposed to have been in love with me for weeks,’ I say. ‘He’s not even trying to act heartbroken.’
‘He’s just too proud,’ says Penny. ‘Don’t you think he’d be acting like this if he’d actually been through a breakup?’
‘No,’ I say, crossing my arms. ‘He wasn’t like this when we were together.’
‘What are you telling people about why you broke up?’ Agatha asks, her brow wrinkling.
‘That I don’t want to talk about it,’ I say.
‘What’s Baz been saying?’ Penny asks.
‘I don’t know. Probably that he broke up with me.’ My shoulders hunch, realising it’s true only as I say it. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Everyone must have known we were never going to last.
‘Are you okay with that?’ Aggie says.
I shrug.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks. But at some point I’m going to have to confront him.
We go back to our old schedule, each one of us avoiding the room as much as possible when we know the other one is going to be there. I guess Baz just can’t stand the sight of me. Which is fine by me, because I can’t stand being in the same room as him while he ignores me, and I’m thinking about what we were like before. The touching, the soft smiles, the quips. When he made me feel like everything he was supposed to hate me for was really something to be loved.
He goes out to feed at night, and I don’t follow him. I don’t go to his football practice either. We don’t talk to each other, and I think about starting a fight just so I can make him look at me again. But I don’t, because what good would it do?
I spend a lot of time practicing with my sword in the Wavering Wood, hacking at trees and generally making a mess. It’s the only time I’m not moping or sulking, as Penny calls it.
Baz doesn’t do any moping or sulking. He doesn’t space out when teachers call on him in class, he shows up to meals, he walks through the place with his usual arrogance.
Nobody even bothers to ask him if he’s okay.
 *
 I hear talking as I climb up to our room, and I hesitate. I don’t have to go in now; I could go back to Penny and Agatha in the library and come back once I know Baz is gone. But then I hear him speak again, and I shove open the door.
He’s on a mobile phone – I didn’t even know he had one, they’re not allowed in Watford – leaning against the wall on his bed. He’s rolling his eyes at whatever the other person is saying. His eyes flick over to me and then pass through me.
I cross my arms and lean against the door, watching him.
‘No, Fiona,’ he’s saying. ‘For Crowley’s sake. He’s a twat anyway.’
I look away. Maybe I should just go.
‘I know,’ he says. ‘Yes.’
Silence.
Baz rolls his eyes again. ‘No, it’s fine. He wasn’t even that good of a kisser.’
‘Fuck you,’ I blurt out. I storm into the bathroom and slam the door.
I don’t care. Why should I care? He’s a vampire. A Pitch. Not to mention a complete git. (Also, he’s a boy.) Not to mention that he’s the one still pretending to his family that he was dating me. I’m the one doing him a favour.
When I can’t hear Baz’s voice anymore, I walk out. He’s in the same position on his bed, thumbs flying over the screen of the phone. I go over to my desk and open a textbook at random.
‘So you can say things like that to your aunt, but you can’t even pretend to be upset that we broke up?’ I say.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Baz says, still tapping at his phone.
‘You act like you don’t even care even though we’ve been ‘dating’ for the last few weeks. You should be acting like you’re hurt.’
‘This is what I act like when I’m hurt,’ he says.
‘But you act like that all the time.’
Tap. Tap. He blinks, but doesn’t look up.
‘Is that all?’ he says. ‘Do you want something, Snow?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘Nothing.’ I pick up the textbook and walk back out of the room.
*
Instead of heading out towards the Wavering Wood like usual, I climb up to the ramparts.
I’m not angry with Baz for refusing to let me meet his family. Pretending to date each other at school is one thing, but I get that letting me meet his family might be a step too far. But more than that, I can’t stop thinking about the way Malcolm Grimm spoke to him that day, when this whole thing started. There has to be more to this whole story, more to Baz, that I don’t know about. If he’s this good at pretending to be in love with me, it makes sense that he’d be good at hiding his emotions too.
Maybe Baz Pitch is not as perfect as he wants everyone to think.
And maybe he’s not as proud.
I sigh, leaning out over the edge of the ramparts, watching the sun disappear over the top of the Wood. I don’t know what good this does me, thinking of Baz as human.
I jog back down the stairs before it can get too dark. (Before I can start thinking about the kiss and leaking enough magic to draw attention to myself.) It’s probably not late enough for Baz to have left the room yet, so I go straight to the dining hall, even though it’s too early for dinner.
On my way in, I bump into Dev and Niall. I glare at them, and they exchange glances.
‘Snow,’ says Niall, smirking. ‘Where’s your ex-boyfriend?’
‘He’s –’ I bite my lip. Not my ex-boyfriend. I try to sidestep around them, but Dev steps up so they’re shoulder-to-shoulder, blocking my path.
‘So what happened?’ Dev says. ‘Do you love him?’
‘No,’ I say, feeling myself turn red. I go to step forward again and Niall crosses his arms.
‘What happened, then? Why’d he go from ditching the Families for you to dumping you within days?’
Heat surges to the surface of my skin, the magic threatening to leak again. I want to protest, but I can’t, not without giving the whole game away and exposing Baz.
‘I don’t know,’ I say, looking away.
For a second, Dev almost looks like he feels sorry for me, but then he’s back to his usual smirk.
‘The Chosen One got dumped twice in four months,’ he crows, and they walk away, still snickering to each other.
‘I don’t get it,’ I hear Niall say. ‘Why Baz would go for Snow. Still seems like a betrayal to me.’
‘He did say Snow was just a passing fancy.’
That does it.
I turn and storm back to Mummers House, realising only when I get there that I’ve left a trail of sparks behind me. If I don’t cool down, there’s going to be a fire.
I don’t care. I just want to get to him.
I run up the stairs and yank on the door handle just as it opens from the inside. I stumble forward, almost falling into Baz’s chest. I regain my balance and then shove him hard.
‘How could you say that?’ I shout in his face. ‘I was trying to help you.’
I go to shove him again, and he grabs my wrists.
‘Simon, anathema, remember?’
‘Fuck you,’ I say, trying to twist out of his grasp. ‘Why are you telling everyone you dumped me? We never agreed on that.’
‘Alright,’ he says. ‘Calm down.’ He keeps a firm hold on my wrists, his face impassive, grey eyes boring into mine. I push forward, but he stays standing.
‘No,’ I growl. ‘You can’t tell people I was just a passing fancy.’
‘Snow, stop,’ he says. ‘It doesn’t matter, okay?’
‘It does matter!’ I stop trying to get to him, and he lets go of my hands. I step back. ‘That’s too – you can’t – there’s a line.’
‘You can say whatever you want about me to your friends,’ he says, crossing his arms.
‘My friends know everything already.’ My hands ball into fists.
‘Anathema,’ says Baz.
‘I know,’ I growl. ‘I don’t care about the stupid anathema.’
He sighs. ‘Snow –’
‘Look,’ I say. ‘You can’t – you can’t just –’ I take a deep breath.
‘What exactly is your problem? Because if you’re just going to bluster at me, I might as well go –’
‘You’re acting like I don’t mean anything,’ I blurt out.
‘I don’t understand why you care,’ he says, his voice harsh. ‘It was just pretend, Snow, we were never really together, or have you forgotten that?’
I flinch. ‘No.’
‘It wasn’t real,’ Baz says, and it takes everything I have not to go off right then, letting my magic bounce off the walls, letting everything turn to flame.
‘I know,’ I say.
‘Then why does it matter?’
‘Because maybe I wanted it to be real.’
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snowkatze · 7 years ago
Text
You Almost Got Me
@snowbazspookyweek for the prompt Tricks. (I interpreted it a bit differently, if that’s okay.) Genre: angst, fluff Word Count: 1911 Summary: Baz is behaving weird lately and Simon tries to figure out what’s going on.
I can feel my skin prickling. I practically feel it growing hot, and I'm afraid he'll be able to tell. My heart is beating fast in my chest.
It's basically torture. I gulp, and rub my sweaty palm against my trousers. He can tell. I'm sure of it. He is a vampire after all. With his heightened senses, he can pick up on anything. When someone is hungry, when someone is scared, when someone is foolishly in love... Not that I am. I don't have a crush on him. I am investigating.
Baz has behaved really weird in the last few weeks. He suddenly started being nice to me. He helps me with my homework. He sits very, very close to me. There's a little mole just below his ear that I hadn't noticed before. When his voice goes soft, it sounds entirely different than his sarcastic or his mean one...
I'm not an idiot, of course. Baz is plotting something.
He's trying to do... something. I'm just... waiting. Always alert. Always ready for the moment he strikes. It simply turned out to be incredibly hard, with the way he looks at me. Far too often, I find myself losing my mind in his eyes, everything forgotten.
“You're saying it wrong,” Baz says.
He's plotting, that's all.
Suddenly, the corners of Baz's mouth move upwards. I frown. He's not smirking. What's happening?
Oh, Aleister Crowley. He's smiling. He's god damn smiling at me. How dare he?
I'm afraid he hears the way my heart misses a beat.
“And you're holding your wand wrong. Tilt it a bit downwards. Like this.” He grabs my hand, to show me how to do it properly. I forget how to breathe for a second. Okay, Simon. Calm down. Remember what's important. He's a vampire, he's evil, he's a Pitch, plotting, widow's peak, wow wow wow he's so beautiful, no, plotting. Plotting.
I snatch my hand away. He's trying to be my friend, so he can find out my weaknesses. He's trying to use me. Or to get information. He's trying... something. And it's not working. At all.
“Simon, what's going on?” Stop calling me Simon. Stop it. Stop smiling at me, stop being nice.
I am not handling this as well and professionally as I'd hoped to. I am on a mission. I have to deal with this as one. I just have to make sure he doesn't touch me again.
Suddenly, the door snaps open and someone rushes into our room. I can't even see who it is, he's already hurled himself at Baz. Tangled together, they fall to the ground. Baz is trying to throw him off himself and starts to punch him, but the other guy ducks away. That's when I see his face.
“Baz?!” I exclaim and stumble back. They both turn their heads towards me at the same time. Aleister Crowely. Impossible. No. Nothing's impossible. I know that by now.
Two pairs of grey eyes. Two widow's peaks. Two pretty faces. This is confusing me. But of course it has to be Baz... no one else can get into our room.
They both get up again, their eyes fixated on me. I don't know where to look.
The Baz who came in takes a little step towards me.
“Listen, Snow, you have to help me take him down. He's a – a freaking shape shifter,or something. He kidnapped me a few weeks ago. I can't explain everything now.” “You tricked me?!”
Fuck, I should've noticed this. There's no way that that guy is Baz. He was being nice to me.
“Wait, wait, wait – Simon, hold on a minute. Don't tell me you believe him. He's an imposer,” the Baz on the right, who helped me a few seconds ago, says. I hesitate. “Come on, please, Simon. I thought we were getting closer.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. That's not Baz. But the other one isn't either – I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what to believe. They look exactly the same.
“I thought we were friends.” “Friends?” the other Baz chimes in. “Are you seriously buying this, Snow?! In what universe could we be friends?” “He's got a point,” I say. “Why would we be friends?” “Because I'm sick of fighting,” he mutters.
“But... But I told you that. A few days ago. I can't believe you. I – I -” “Simon, your magic!”
It's the Baz on the left again. He comes a little closer and reaches out his hand, as if he was going to touch me.
I can feel it almost overflowing. I know that I'm about to lose control. I don't want to go off.
“Breathe, Simon,” left-Baz says and I try to concentrate on his calm voice. “Slowly.” I close my eyes and listen to him counting. It calms me down a bit, but I can still feel the panic coursing through me.
Left-Baz is about to lay a hand on my shoulder, but I flinch back. “Don't touch me!” So I was right. It was all fake. Only that it wasn't the real Baz, but some shapeshifter. It must've been. But I don't know what to think. For all I know, none of the two people in front of me is really Baz.
“And why? Why would there be an imposer? Why the fuck is this happening?” “Probably because he wants to get closer to the Mage. Or you made him angry on one of your 'missions'. I bet there's lots of people out to kill you.” I think for a second. Then I remember. The Mage did make me kill two shapeshifters. But there were no survivors – that I know of. What if one of them came back? And if so – could I blame them?
I mutter the incantation of my sword, because I know that I'm going to need it.
“He's only telling you this so you'll believe him,” right-Baz says. “Tell me, Simon, when we were friends – didn't that feel right to you?” Of course it felt right to me.
“M-maybe, but – but why would you feel that way? You – you hate me. We're enemies.” I look at both of their faces intently, trying to find the mistake, as if I was looking at one of these Spot-the-difference pictures for children. I've never been good at those. But I am good at looking at Baz – I've done it a thousand times before.
I don't know – I just don't know – I feel like my head is going to explode. I lift my sword.
“Why, Baz?” I repeat.
Right-Baz lowers his head.
“It's because I don't hate you at all.” I tense up.
“It's because I'm in love with you, Simon Snow.” Pain shoots through my body, and I push my sword through his body without thinking. His body drops and I let go of the sword.
Fuck. I just killed Baz. I didn't even think about it – I just knew that Baz would never be in love with me.
(But I want him to.)
- No. No brackets. I want him to be. Period.
And I possibly just killed him. Because maybe – possibly – he is in love with me. Or maybe he was just lying to get me to believe him. I don't know. Oh fuck, I don't know.
“Fuck,” Baz (the one that's still alive) says, too, and he's gone even paler. (I didn't think that was possible.)
Then the corpse transforms – not into a person, but into a small, red stone.
“What is that?” “I don't know. Maybe he wasn't even here. Maybe that's what a shapeshifter leaves behind when he dies. Maybe he isn't dead. Let's get rid of it.” Baz grabs it from the floor and throws it through the open window.
“Let the merewolves take care of it.” So, I was right. It wasn't Baz.
I knew I would've known about that mole. Baz doesn't have one. The mole below his ear was just the shapeshifter's imperfection.
But that also means that Baz was never nice to me. And he never said he was in love with me.
How am I disappointed and relieved at the same time?
Baz sits on his bed and I watch him. (I can't help myself.) “Are you alright?” I whisper. He avoids my gaze.
“What do you think, Snow? I get kidnapped by one of the lunatics who want to get revenge on you, spent three weeks in a fucking coffin, finally manage to escape, only to come back to that damn imposer in cahoots with you. I'm splendid, Snow, truly.” “But... I killed him.” He stays silent for a moment. Then he swallows (I see his throat move).
“Seemed more like a reflex to me.” “Yeah, right, I didn't really think about it.” “Snow?” “I think I have to tell you something.” “Why don't you just tell me?” “Okay.” I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't keep talking. He shifts on his bed. I listen to his breathing. I'm glad he's back.
Why would the shapeshifter turn into Baz, not Penny? After all, Baz was my enemy. I think maybe it knew. I think maybe it imitated the one I felt for the most – and I know without a doubt that that's Baz.
I think Baz is not going to tell me whatever he wanted to say, so I turn away, but then I hear his voice, silently.
“I'm in love with you, Snow. For real.” Immediately, I sit up and stare at him.
“So?” he says. “If you're going to kill me, get it over with.”
I keep staring at him. His face looks strangely vulnerable, even in the pale moonlight. I think the soft Baz does exist inside of him. I would like to get to know what he's really like.
“Why would I kill you?” I whisper.
“You killed him,” Baz answers and his voice is cold. No. Smile at me, Baz.
“He wasn't you.” “But you didn't know that, Snow,” he says. Call me Simon.
“No, I knew,” I whisper and cross the room until I'm standing directly in front of him.
“Are you going to punch me?” Baz asks and draws back slightly.
“Anathema,” I mutter and lean closer. “I thought it couldn't be true.” “What?” “All of it. You being nice. You being my friend. But especially – you being in love with me.” He tilts his head closer to me and I see his eyelids fluttering.
“And now?” he says, his voice growing silent. “Now you believe me?” I bury my hands in his hair and pull him closer.
“I don't know.” He kisses me. He kisses me. This is real. This is happening.
“Yes,” I say when he draws back. “I believe.”
And I pull him in again. I let my fingers glide over his body, to memorize the way he feels under my hands, the way he kisses me, the way his hair is soft. I try to memorize every part, every inch. I want to be able to recognize his smell, his voice, his eyes. I hold him as tightly as I can.
It's him.
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celestialarcadia · 5 years ago
Text
Dear Chocolatier
This ended up kind of long. I really hope this doesn’t come across as too picky! While I’ve included prompts and general rambling, I can’t predict everything that I’d be interested in--so as long as your idea doesn’t fall under my DNWs, I’ll be happy to read whatever you come up with! This is mostly geared towards fic, since I’m not very good at talking about art, but I’d also be ecstatic about art fills. Full letter under the cut. (Note that I missed nominations, so I was limited to whatever was in the tagset; not all of my favorite relationships in these works are represented.)
What you need to know about me is that most, if not all, of my favorite pairings include some element of opposites attract. I’m not sure that’s the right phrase to use, since it’s often not literal opposites that attract me to a pairing. What I love is when characters have some sort of large difference(s) between them that is impossible to ignore, requires there to be communication between the members of the pairing, and (this is the big one!!) all the members of the relationship love each other in part because of the differences between them as well as recognizing the similarities they have. It’s a bit hard to explain in words, but I hope that helps. To use examples from the pairings I’ve requested: human/elf, human/alien, alien/different alien, human/robot AI, mage/warrior, warrior/diplomat, witch/fairy, angel/demon...I let out a dreamy sigh just typing those out, which should explain how much I love this trope lmao.
I want happy endings. There’s a place for tragedies, but I need to be in a very specific mood to gain satisfaction from them, and right now in my life I can’t really appreciate them much. I generally prefer a “happily ever after”, but “happy for now” is also acceptable (and is more appropriate for several of the pairings on this list). While I enjoy fluff, I’d also be happy with something more dramatic as long as it ultimately has a HEA/HFN. I’ve enjoyed hurt/comfort, but I usually prefer them to be heavy on the comfort.
Regarding smut: I’m fine with or without it. I’m asexual and porn does nothing for me sexually, but I can enjoy erotica, even PWPs, as an exploration of intimacy between characters. (Not necessarily even romantic intimacy--I’ve enjoyed smut about friends with benefits.) Stuff I enjoy in smut: blindfolds; body worship; bondage; cunnilingus; edging; facesitting; femdom/malesub; gentle domination; intercrural; mirror sex; multiple orgasms; mutual masturbation; pegging; praise kink; service topping; vibrators; wax play. And if the scene goes into BDSM territory, aftercare!
However! I am also a very, very big fan of non-sexual intimacy. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, spooning, literal sleeping together, massages, holding hands, words of affirmation...I could go on and on. Love it all. If you headcanon a character in a requested pairing as asexual, go for it!
Special shoutout to characters bathing together (preferably in a very large bathtub or similar body of water). It can easily lead to sex, and I don’t mind if it does, but I almost prefer if it doesn’t cross that line.
General DNW: 24/7 D/s, A/B/O, abuse between characters in requested pairings, ageplay, amnesia, ass to mouth, BDSM society AU, bestiality, bloodplay in settings without magical healing, breathplay, cancer, canon bi character portrayed as straight or gay, canon gay character portrayed as straight or bi, cheating/infidelity by character in a requested pairing, crossovers, daddy/mommy kink, death of a character's parent(s) as a major plot element (references to canon parent death OK but try not to linger too long on it), describing genitals of any kind as "weeping", dub-con, eating disorders, enemas, explicit underage, fake relationship, feederism, fisting, guro, hatesex, humiliation kink, incest, inflation, kidfic (canon kids OK but I'd rather not have a fic centering around them), lactation kink, love triangles, maledom/femsub, necrophilia, nipple clamps, permanent death of a character in a requested pairing, petplay, plots centered around prejudice or -isms, pregnancy, rape/non-con, rape roleplay/consensual non-consent, reader insert, rimming, scat, school-related AU, self-harm, sex in public places, soulmates AU, sounding, spanking, vore, watersports/omorashi, zombies
Some of these fandoms/pairings have more written about them than others. Please don’t take that as an indication that I’ll be disappointed if you pick a pairing or fandom I’ve written less about here--I really will be happy with any of these pairings!
Cinderella Phenomenon
(Psst...this is a free game...consider playing it?)
Delora/Parfait: I didn’t consider this pairing until I saw it in the tagset and now I 100% ship it. Love me a goth witch and pastel fairy couple. I’d like to see them negotiating around the drastically different perceptions of witches and fairies in Angielle. Or maybe something a bit fluffy, like sharing a stolen moment away from the Marchen, or just taking a break from the trials of everyday life.
Pairing-specific DNW: Work set during/after Rumpel’s, Waltz’s, or Fritz’s routes
Lucette Riella Britton/Karma: While I enjoyed the game as a whole, I think Karma’s route was my favorite. For all his eccentricities, Karma recognizes Lucette’s terrible upbringing and how it affected her before the other characters do, and the fact that he’s a prince means that you can get up to some really nice royal intrigue and politics with this pairing. (Also, I wonder--does Karma continue to wear dresses after his curse is broken, just for the fun of it?)
Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)
Dragon Age
Fandom-specific DNW: Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor sides with templars, rivalmances for DA2 LIs, Cullen as major character
Alistair/Male Surana: Oh, Alistair, my first DA love. Even though he never actually became a templar, he was still trained as one, and I think that could cause some issues in a relationship with a mage. And being an elf mage? Whew. Even though I don’t want something where Alistair becomes king, I’m fine with something where they discuss the possibility of Alistair becoming king, as long as they ultimately decide not to put him on the throne. You could also do something set after DAO/Awakening, where both are active Wardens--maybe they’ve been separated for a few months for Warden-y reasons and they’ve just reunited?
Pairing-specific DNW: Alistair as king, Loghain recruited into Wardens
Fenris/Hawke: Any gender Hawke is fine (I just have m!Fenhawke tagged because it was in the tagset). My Hawke is female, but feel free to write male or nb Hawke; my Hawke is also a mage, because I like the idea of them falling in love despite the tension that causes between them--but if you’d rather write a warrior/rogue Hawke, that’s also good. (If you want to include specific details about my Hawke: she’s named Samantha, specializes in healing, and is mostly purple/joking with a blue/diplomatic streak. I headcanon her as asexual even if it can’t really be replicated in the game. But I’ll be fine with whatever Hawke you choose to write.)
Zevran Arainai/Warden: Like with Fenris, I’m not picky about which genre or origin you pick and only put in the tags in the set for matching purposes. My Zev-romancing Warden is a f!Brosca, but if you prefer another gender/origin, do whatever you want. These two are my favorite enemies-to-lovers pairing, in part because Zevran never had any hard feelings for the Warden in the first place. (And the Warden telling Nathaniel “Some of my best friends have attempted to kill me” during Awakening gains a whole new level of hilarity with romanced Zev.) Zev comes across as a devil-may-care flirt, but he turns out to be a respectful lover if you actually put the effort to get to know him beyond surface level. (Also, that cool-ass Crow armor from the World of Thedas artbook. A+)
Female Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet: Josie! (。♥‿♥。) And I romance her with a f!Lavellan, so it’s a nice coincidence that this was in the tagset lol. I’ll be good with just about anything you come up with for this pairing. Josephine is one of the few non-Dalish characters who at least tries to be respectful of Lavellan’s Dalish heritage, even if she is a bit clumsy about it sometimes. My Lavellan is a lesbian mage named Ilena if you’re interested in including those details, but I’ll be happy with any f!Lavellan.
Josephine Montilyet/Cassandra Pentaghast: Fun fact--I ship this because of a bondage fic I read lmao. They have a very interesting dynamic--a warrior who kills on a regular basis (even if for a good cause); a diplomat who has renounced violence. I won’t be picky about anything for this pairing, either.
Good Omens
Fandom-specific DNW: Reverse AU (I don’t mind these but I’m not interested in receiving one), Aziraphale falling, smut involving Crowley’s snake form, work set before Crowley’s fall, strict top/bottom dynamics
Note: I’ve read the book and watched the series. I’m fine with stuff set in either canon (hence why I requested both). If you want to combine elements from both, that’s cool too.
Aziraphale/Crowley: My most recent love. I have lots and lots of feelings (at least a billion) about these two. Enough that I have a goddamn LIST.
I’m fine with any combination of genders/presentations/efforts/pronouns for these two. I headcanon Aziraphale as being agender with he/him pronouns and Crowley as genderfluid, but again, anything works. Lately I’ve adored fics and art of butch female-presenting Aziraphale, too.
Chubby Aziraphale!! I love!! So much!! Dovetails very well with my interest in body worship (sexual or otherwise). Crowley loves his soft angel!! So much!! And! So much cuddling potential!! (More serious note: I’m not a huge fan of stuff where Aziraphale is extremely self-conscious about his body. Surely he’d miracle himself a different shape if he hated it so much? And he’s been around for millennia, so he’s witnessed beauty standards change drastically over time. It makes more sense in human AUs, but it’s still something I tolerate more than enjoy.)
I’m a big fan of “Aziraphale and Crowley through history” stuff. Pick a time period you like and go wild. Personally, I have a huge soft spot for the 1920s--Crowley would look amazing in a flapper dress. (Realistic or Hollywood-style, take your pick.) (I know that according to the TV script they didn’t see each other between the fight at St James and the church scene, but...bah. Flapper Crowley!!) Some great opportunities for mutual pining, or if you want to write an AU where they got together before the Notpocalypse, go for it.
I have a big soft spot for stuff where Crowley is in his snake form (no smut, please--if the story turns that way I want him in his human form for sex)
I will never ever get tired of “first love confession” or “first kiss” stories for these two because I am a romantic sap who just wants them to be happy (they’ve spent so long not being able to be close to each other! they deserve it!!)
Outsider POVs: “random normal person weirded out by bizarre relationship between fussy bookseller and his goth husband” is one of my favorite fandom tropes
Praise kink! I mentioned this in my general smut likes but it bears repeating here. The major fanon is Crowley having a praise kink, which is wonderful and valid (tfw your crush calls you nice and it turns you on so much you try to play it cool by shoving him against a wall). I’ve seen some stuff recently with Aziraphale having a praise kink and now that’s an idea. (He’s spent so long just wanting to be good for Heaven! Even though Heaven’s standard for what’s good is kind of terrible and they hate him anyway so he’d never be good enough for them! But Crowley knows that Aziraphale is good and he’s more than willing to tell him every little thing he loves about him! aaaaaaaa) Regardless of who has the kink, I think they’d be a bit embarrassed at first at having it found out (Crowley: “Being turned on by compliments? C’mon, that’s not me” [it’s totally him]/Aziraphale: “It’s...a bit selfish, isn’t it?” [but since when has that stopped him]), but the other would be more than willing to indulge. (And while Aziraphale is naturally suited to provide praise, given how good he is with words, I think Crowley could grow into the role too, in his own way.)
Heart of the Woods
Tara Bryck/Morgan Fischer, Abigail Dalsing/Madison Raines: I put these two together because they’re so intertwined in the original game, but if you want to focus on one pairing over the other, that’s great! Something that really interests me would be seeing how Morgan and especially Abby would react to the...idiosyncrasies of modern-day America. Also, Abby being introduced to the internet could be hilarious. (Also also, Morgan getting to live her best butch life, and Tara being her slightly overly enthusiastic cheerleader.) On a more serious note, how does Maddie move on after leaving Taranormal?
Lake of Voices
(Psst...this is also a free game...consider playing it too?)
Kikka/Margret: I’m less interested in fluff for this pairing thanks to how dark the original material is, but I’d still rather not have something totally grim. Margret’s route isn’t truly romantic, not really, but considering the short period of time the game takes place during, that’s not surprising--so I’d like to see how their relationship progresses after the events of the game.
Mass Effect Trilogy
Fandom-specific DNW: Sabotaging the genophage cure; Control/Synthesis/Refusal endings; synthetics dying in Destroy ending (yes I know this is canon, no I don’t care; please don’t do post-ME3 if you aren’t willing to work around this); dead Wrex; no peace between geth and quarians (for ME3)
Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian: While Shakarian isn’t my favorite ME pairing, I do still love it. No Shepard without Vakarian, after all. They work so well as a battle couple and have such great chemistry. My Garrus-romancing Shepard is a Paragade Vanguard named Elliott, Earthborn/War Hero if you want those details.
Female Shepard & Mordin Solus: Death DNW doesn’t apply to this one; hit me with all the feels over Mordin’s death (I don’t like what you have to do for him to survive). Or avoid the issue by doing something set during ME2. Alien Sex Ed is always a classic trope, or something more serious regarding Mordin’s past as an STG operative or his work with the genophage.
Grunt & Female Shepard: Shepard is very proud of her strong krogan vat bby.
Kolyat Krios & Female Shepard: With or without Shep/Thane (”YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”), either works. If there’s romance, how does Kolyat react to his missing dad showing up with a human girlfriend? Does Shepard try to become a part of Kolyat’s life or does she try to stay out of it? There’s less reason for Shepard to get involved if there’s no Thanemance, but I think there’s still opportunity there, since Kolyat and Thane keep in contact after the loyalty mission is completed.
Pairing-specific DNW: Thane dying
Thane Krios/Female Shepard: My favorite ME pairing! At least until BW fucked it up in ME3. (I still kind of haven’t forgiven them.) They have a very mature relationship, I think--both of them a bit weary--and they find solace in each other, at least until the inevitable. I would prefer a fic set during ME2, or in the time period between the end of ME2 and Shepard being detained before ME3. If you want to make something set during ME3, I’d like to see him receive treatment (not necessarily a cure, though I won’t complain if you go that route, but preferably something more realistic than “oh I took a pill and now I’m all better!” or similar) for Kepral’s. I also don’t like the defeatist “well, I guess I’m just gonna lay down and die now” attitude he has when you meet him at Huerta in ME3; it clashes so much with his entire ME2 arc, which has him realize that he does still have things to live for (his son, for one, and Shepard if you romance him). If you’re interested in details about my Shepard: her name is Diana; she’s a Paragon Infiltrator, Colonist/War Hero.
Pairing-specific DNW: Excessive focus on his illness (I know it’s a big part of his character, and I don’t expect people to avoid it entirely, but I don’t enjoy stuff that’s centered totally around it); Irikah bashing or trying to portray her as unimportant
Nyreen Kandros/Aria T’Loak: (STILL SCREAMING ABOUT BADASS TURIAN LADY) I want to see something from when these two were still together, or a fix-it where Nyreen doesn’t die and she and Aria enter a (possibly uneasy) truce. Less concerned about happiness for this one as long as neither of them dies; I’m fine if it ends up that their relationship just doesn’t work out.
EDI/Samantha Traynor: Geeky lesbian with a robot kink + sexy fembot = ooh la la. On a serious note, how would a human/AI relationship work? There’s a lot of possibilities here.
Stardew Valley
Fandom-specific DNW: Player siding with Joja-Mart
Abigail/Female Player, Elliott/Player, Leah/Female Player, Maru/Female Player: I’m putting these together not because I think they’re interchangeable (they’re not), but because what I want is basically the same for each of them--slice-of-life about the farmer and their partner (either dating or married...or dating then married; no kids please), with emphasis on how the partner’s personality and lifestyle meshes, or doesn’t mesh, with the player’s farm life. Maybe there’s conflicts that have to be resolved, compromises that have to be made. (But I do want them to eventually work it out and be happy together.) If you pick Elliott/Player, I’m fine with whatever gender farmer you want.
Sweet Fuse: At Your Side
Inafune Saki/Meoshi Kouta: One thing I enjoyed about Meoshi’s route is how he doesn’t have to give up games entirely in order to deserve love and improve as a person, he just develops a healthier relationship with gaming. I like the idea of Kouta participating in a fighting game tournament with Saki cheering him on...or maybe he taught her how to play and she’s a competitor too now? DUN DUN DUN. (but it’s all in good fun)
Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)
Original Work
Dethroned and Dishonored Queen/Lone Loyal Female Knight
Lady Locked in a Tower/Lady Who Turns Into a Hawk
Female Werewolf Hunter/Her Boyfriend Who Gets Turned Into a Werewolf
Female Tall Muscular Badass/Female Short Chubby Nerd
Hiker/Sporty Girl Who Sprained Her Ankle Miles from Nowhere
Grumpy Lonely Sorceress/Female Courtesan She Hires for a Ritual
Female Witch/Female Werewolf
Female Witch/Female Demon She Accidentally Summons
Female Knight/Female Bath Attendant with a Crush
Female Gamer/Female Bookworm
Female Court Painter/Impatient Princess Sitting for a Painting
Female Armorsmith/Female Warrior Who Needs Frequent Repairs
Female Adventurer Lost in the Snow/Female Fire Spirit
Male Speakeasy Bartender/Male Speakeasy Piano Player
Librarian/Her Monster-Hunting Wife Who Keeps Dragging Her Into Wacky Supernatural Adventures
Sensible Royal Guardswoman/Arrogant but Skilled Court Sorceress
Dark Mage/Light Mage
Beleaguered Playwright/Actress Cursed to Ruin Any Show She’s In
Female Vampire/Female Vampire Hunter
Victorian Lady/Victorian Lady
GO WILD. Just don’t hit my DNWs. For the pairings that don’t specify the genders of both members, I’d prefer f/f works.
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lunarsaturn88 · 7 years ago
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Ten Things I Hate About You Part 1
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Jared Padalecki x Reader
Words:2504
Warnings: Angst and threatening of a character.
Summary: You were a young child star and you had always learned to keep your distance away from your male co-stars when you were younger, but when your casted onto Supernatural as an unknown character in the beginning to the boys and you try to keep yourself away from Jared and Jensen who are trying to make sense of you when you start working on the show with them, and they begin to wonder if they done something wrong to render the cold treatment. Soon they realize that there is something that had rendered the cold treatment and they are more than willing to get to the bottom of the problem.
A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of Ten Things I Hate About You. This is going to be a series… and I have no idea of how long it is going to be just yet, because it depends on how long it is going to actually take me to write it and see where it is going to go really. But I’m going to see how far this series goes. Also this will have some wife positivity… But Genevieve will be best friends with Jared since they split up. So there will be quite a bit of wife positivity as the story goes. I don’t want to leave such amazing people out of this story.  So I hope that you guys enjoy this first chapter.
You had been in the world of acting for a while, and nothing would ever prepare you for the world of Supernatural. You were a 26 year old actress and had some well known roles before you had gotten a call to join in on Supernatural. Your manager that you had since you started in the acting world was onboard with the whole idea of you trying something new and the Supernatural television show seemed to be her idea of a good fit for you after everything that you had been through the past year. Now all you had to do was prove it to yourself that you could still handle the roles.
Crowley stood before you in one of the motel sets. He looked at your back since you hadn’t been facing him. “I need you to come in Gwen.” His voice sounding very demanding of you.
You turned around and looked at Crowley. Your face didn’t show any emotion to Crowley. “Ordering me to come in Crowley?” Your words sounding like a sneer of distaste of the King of Hell. “Riddle me this, you finally run out of demon’s to order around, and thought that now would be the wise time to come and bother me?”
Crowley narrowed his eyes at you and got into your personal space. “Listen here… I’m calling you in because you owe me a favor.”
You shoved Crowley back some for getting into your personal space causing the King of Hell to stumble. “Me owe you a favor? Don’t make me laugh. Your favors always ends up making someone dead in the end or someone is that much of a sucker to believe that you are high and mighty and willing to help out with something.”
“You will listen to me girl.” He said grabbing onto your arm. “You owe me big time. Or would you rather be a chew toy for one of my hounds?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. Of course Crowley would bring up the hounds, and they scared you to no end. This was always how he got things to go his way. Threatening you with his beloved hounds and there was no way that you were able to say no to him. “What’s the favor?” You asked your voice coming out shakily.
“Cain… I’m on his list. And you are coming with me… because we are going to need your talents, Gwen.” Crowley said looking you dead in the eye.
You took a deep breath as you looked at him. “Magic.” You simply said as you pursed your lips together. You let out a soft sigh and then nodded your head at Crowley knowing that you had no choice in the matter, but to help him out.
“And cut!” The director, Phil Sgriccia called out from his chair.
You let out a soft breath as you turned your head. Thank god, finally the scene went as it was supposed to. You wiped the sweat from your brow.
“You did good love.” Mark said giving you a pat on the shoulder and offering you a charming smile. He really thought that you had done well working with him on the scene together without any interruptions from the two goofballs Jared and Jensen.
“Thank you.” You said with a small smile. You were just thankful that you could make it through the scene without having any issues. You were thankful that you were able to jump right back into doing the job that you loved so much and sometimes hated depending on who you were working with.
Mark patted your arm lightly. “You’ll fit in just fine here.” He knew that you were going to fit in just fine with the rest of the cast. He left to go and relax a little bit since he didn’t have to film for a little bit.
You bit your lower lip hoping that Mark was right about you fitting into this lovely group of people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You walked off of the set after having filmed for most of the day. You hadn’t realized how difficult it was going to be when you automatically went to work with Jared and Jensen. For some reason those two were always wanting to have fun and tried to get you to crack up on set. You let out a soft breath slowly taking your hair down from the top knot that the makeup department had put in. You shook your head lightly allowing your hair to fall over your shoulders.
You couldn’t understand how two grown men could act the way that they did. Hyper active on set and goofing off and trying to make everyone around them laugh their asses off and not getting through a scene. Granted you had dealt with some tricksters in your time of acting, but never like this.
“Hey Y/N!” Misha called out to you, a bright smile on his face, causing his blue eyes to light up.
You turned your head looking at Misha, and you bit your lower lip shyly. “Can I help you Misha?” You asked in confusion of why he would call out to you. You were well on your way to go home and rest. You were fairly exhausted from the day of filming that you had done.
“I was wondering where you were off to.” He said his tone not changing. He was much too chipper for you at that moment.
“My room for the night. Filming has taken a lot out of me.” You said softly. You truly hated lying to people, but you really didn’t know Misha that well to be going out with him anywhere.
“Oh. Right you’re one of the ones that don’t want to take time to know her cast mates aren’t you?” Misha asked crossing his arms looking at you with a concerned look on his face. He wouldn’t come right out and say it that he was worried about you since you had come onto set and with the way that you had been acting around Jensen and Jared.
You bit your lip shyly. “I’m exhausted, Misha…”
“Maybe some point you’ll join us? Cast dinner?” He asked hopeful that you would join them at a cast dinner.
“A dinner?” You asked as you pursed your lips together. You had been to cast dinners before, but never like this. “Um… I’m not sure that it would be a good idea Misha…”
Misha patted your shoulder lightly. “Alright, get some rest Y/N… see you tomorrow on set.”
You gave him a small smile and nodded your head and began to walk towards your car knowing that you were probably going to have another long day of filming with Jared, Jensen, Misha, and Mark. You were a bundle of nerves of working with the two men that acted like children.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You let out a soft sigh as you made your way to the apartment that you rented for while you were here.
“Hey, Y/N!” Jared said calling out your name causing you to stop in your tracks and to turn and face the 6’4 male.
You pursed your lips together, and tilted your head to the side in confusion of wondering why he was following you towards your apartment. “Can I help you?” You asked softly trying to keep calm of what had happened on set in the back of your mind.
“Sorry for what happened on set Y/N… I was wondering if you would join me, Jensen, and Misha for a few beers.” He said offering you a smile.
“Oh… I told Misha that I was coming home for the night to rest.” You said shifting a little on your feet trying to keep the weight from being on just one leg. You were nervous since your first day on set had started out well, but when it got to the point of working with Jared and Jensen, you couldn’t keep focused. You had worked with some handsome co-workers before, but Jensen and Jared took the cake… they had made you feel… well they made you feel like you weren’t yourself. Not with being new to the whole Supernatural family.
Jared’s smile fell. He hadn’t expected you to say no. “You tired from working on set?”
You forced a fake smile on your lips, something that you had rehearsed for years as you had become an actress. You always wore it around when you worked with others just to keep them off of your ass. “Yeah… I’m pretty tired.” You said as you stuck your hands into your back pockets of your regular pants that weren’t your on set pants.
“Been awhile since you’ve worked on a set like this?” Jared asked curiously biting his lower lip. He was curious about you because you acted so professional on set, he was afraid that you would’ve ran off of the set in a panic when him and Jensen began to pull pranks.
You nodded your head stiffly. That was true. You hadn’t worked on a set like this in a while. In all of your times of working on sets of television shows you were a main character. You of course busted your ass on the shows that you worked on, and occasionally you would pop up in movies as an extra. It was just something that you enjoyed doing.
Jared gave you a soft smile. “It’s fine, Y/N…” He said putting his hands into his back pockets nervously as he looked at you with a soft look. “I just thought that it would be nice to get to know you.”
You bit your lower lip softly unsure of what to think. After all not many people thought about getting to know you when you were a guest star on any show that you had  been on. You hadn’t been expecting to get to know your cast mates. You after all weren’t going to be there that long. Maybe for a few episodes and then you would be gone for a while. “To know me?” You asked softly looking into his hazel eyes that you felt like you could get lost in them. The mixture of colors that you now had a feeling that you were going to adore.
Jared nodded his head. “Yeah, getting to know you. You’ve been quiet since you got onto set.” He had to admit that he was kind of worried about you and how you had been around him and Jensen. He felt like you had closed yourself off and that was the last thing that he wanted to happen with you. He had wanted to make you feel welcomed on the set.
You pursed your lips together and fiddled with the black gel band that was around your wrist that went with the other gel bands that you had on your wrist. “It’s nice of you to think that, Jared.” You let out a soft sigh. You wanted to get to know them, you truly did, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you just weren’t ready yet. “Maybe some other time. Is that alright?” Your mind was going a mile a minute. You seriously wanted to go into your apartment and change into something more comfortable.
Jared pursed his lips together looking at you as if he was trying to get a read on you to see what you really had been thinking. He saw that you were shifting nervously under his gaze. He had a feeling that you weren’t use to being asked to join in on things. He hadn’t noticed that your lips were moving. His gaze broke when your fingers snapped in front of his face, causing him to blink a few times.
“You zoned out.” You said letting out a soft huff. You hated it when people did that, but for some reason he had been staring at you when he did that, and it made you that much more nervous of why he was doing that while looking at you.
“You said something?” He asked blinking a few times looking at you.
“Yeah.” You said putting your hands on your hips looking at the 6’4 actor with a look of worry. You couldn’t help, but wonder if he had gotten enough sleep the night before with how he was acting right at that moment with you. You let out a sigh shaking your head. “I was asking if it was alright to do it another day. I’m not quite use to being on a set this grand… after all it’s been a while.”
Jared offered you a small smile knowing what you had meant. He had heard that you had been out of work for two years… and sometimes it took a while for actors and actresses to get back into the groove of working. And he supposed that was what needed to happen with you too. “Okay.” He touched your shoulder lightly and felt you jump a little under his touch. He couldn’t help, but wonder what that was about. “Get some good night sleep.”
You smiled a small smile. “Thanks Jared. You and the guys enjoy your night out.”
Jared nodded his head. He watched you slowly go up towards your apartment which wasn’t too far away from his. But what was bothering him was how you had jumped when he had touched you. He couldn’t help, but wonder what had happened to you to cause you to act like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You got into your apartment and closed your door leaning up against it. Tears came to your eyes as you began to think of what had happened outside of your apartment. Your little encounter with Jared, and how it made your heart race inside of your chest. You just couldn’t understand how someone could be that nice and wanting to get to know you?
You closed your eyes as you felt a few tears slide from your closed eyes and down your cheeks. You had no idea why they wanted to take time to get to know you. You let out a soft shuddering breath, you were afraid of getting to know your cast mates. You were afraid of them finding out what had caused you not to work after a while. That was something that your manager made sure that it would never see the light of day ever, unless it came to light through the social media. And that was something that you were afraid of. You didn’t want people to hate you.
You pushed yourself away from the door and walked to your room. What you needed at that moment was sleep. You needed to keep your mind off of what you were feeling. You needed to keep your thoughts from running wild and you already knew that filming with Jensen and Jared was not going to be easy, not in the least bit. And you had no idea how you were going to handle it.
@chelsea072498 @kinky-barnes @mommy-winchester @faegal04 @kazosa @crazysocklovingfangirl @cookingglitterfairy @mamaredd123
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yan-twst · 4 years ago
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( @crazyyanderefangirlfan (〃ω〃) here you go! since you didnt specificy any letters i did the whole thing! it is a long post so i'll put it under a read more!)
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Very strictly- Sebek has a rather particular form of showing love. Whenever he takes his darling out in public he will expect absolute perfect behaviour- no PDA, no speaking unless spoken to. However, he'll become more affectionate behind closed doors: he's still quite shy, so even just kissing or cuddling his darling is sometimes too much and he'll have to go cool off.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
Not as much as one would expect. Even though he is definitely well trained and strong enough to stand his ground and his darling's, he is working for Lord Maleus- he can't have his actions sully his lord's name! However, if he accidentally snaps or gets out of hand, he might go beg Lilia for help, and the older fae will certainly make any trace of Sebek's violence disappear.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He won't mock them, but he is so demanding and high-strung that he comes off as cruel. He expects his darling to serve Maleus too, but obey him at the same time- any time his darling fails at a task, or even worse, fail at something Maleus asked, they'll be subject to get yelled at for hours by Sebek.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
He won't touch his darling for affection if they tell him not to- however, he will absolutely order them around without much remorse. His darling is living on a tight schedule set by him, and any rupture to this structured lifestyle might earn them a lecture or a slap if Sebek is at his absolute limit.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He is constantly trying to be the best guard for Maleus, always on guard and ready to pounce. Even though realistically Maleus doesn't expect that much from him, Sebek still feels pressured- he might cry into his darling's chest on particularly bad nights, asking for reassurance that he's doing a good job protecting Maleus and being their partner. If his darling doesn't comfort him, he won't punish them- however he'll be in an extremely bad mood all week, which is never good for anyone.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He's outraged at this behaviour! How dare his darling act out against him?! He's already too busy with school and guardinh Maleus- these actions will not be tolerated. As much as it hurts his heart, he might have to use some painful magic in order to teach his darling a lesson- although he'll definitely cry when he sees his darling in pain, it's something he must do.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
No, it's not. Sebek is quite serious about this relationship- he truly believes that all he does will help shape his darling into an ideal person, and that together they can protect Maleus. He won't tolerate any attempts to escape: after the very first one, he'll get Lilia to put any sort of ancient spell on his darling so they cannot escape. Hell, even Maleus might throw in a curse for Sebek's darling not to run away: the two ancient fae find Sebek's infatuation quite entertaining.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
If his darling ever attempted to hurt Maleus, Sebek would have no mercy in punishing them. He would have tears in his eyes as he cast painful hexes on his darling, leaving them chained up in one of Diasomnia's towers for days on end to starve and suffer under the intense magic. It's bad enough that Lilia has to be the one to put a stop to it, before Sebek caused irreversible damage to his darling's body and mind.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He only has one goal in life, and that is to protect Maleus. He expects his darling to do the same- after all, he believes he can train them into a guard almost as perfect as him! He doesn't have concrete plans for after graduation- he does expect to marry his darling, but it's likely he'll keep by Maleus' side, so his darling better enjoy their new job!
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
It highly depends on who it is that interacts or talks with his darling. If it's people he trusts, like Lilia or Maleus (and even Silver, to an extent) he'll simply keep an eye on them while they're near his darling. Because he knows any bad action of him could bring disgrace to Maleus, he grits his teeth and bears it when he hears other students talk about his darling, although he might snap if he finds himself alone face-to-face with one of these people later.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
When it's just him and his darling, he's shokingly shy. Holding hands is enough tl send his heart into a frenzy and make his whole face red- a kiss could probably kill him. It's like that at first; he doesn't want to scare his darling, but as much as he's shy, he's also... Very, very eager. Expect makeout session when he gets random bursts of courage- although later he'll be so embarrassed he won't even look his darling in the eyes... Until he gets the urge to be close to them again...
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
Before kidnapping them, he was both very obvious and yet ignorant to his own feelings. Everyone knew he liked his darling based on how much attention he'd pay to them (and by how much he'd scold them for "trying to distract him"). When he finally has his darling to himself- aka when Maleus asks the headmaster to transfer Sebek's darling to Diasomnia (and Crowley knows better than to refuse: Maleus is too powerful to risk angering) and Sebek keeps them with him at all times- he continues this behaviour, although he already accepted he's deeply in love.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
He's much more tender than he lets on. Even though everyone knows how loud and competitive he is, nobody would guess how soft he is when he's with his beloved. Also, he's very physically needy but shy at the same time: he seeks his darling's affections but never dares vocalise what he wants. His darling better be good at reading his mood, because giving him love when he wants it is the best way to keep him a relatively tolerable partner.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
If it's a spur of the moment thing, he might slap them- however that's as much as he'd harm them in the bodily sense. He feels too bad when he physically hurts his darling, so when punishment is necessary he opts for isolation and magic. He'll read up on hexes and cursed that cause feelings of pain, but no actual bodily harm- he'll still feel incredible sad when he hears his darling scream and cry in pain wherever he locked them up, but he'll take some comfort knowing the pain they feel is "fake" and their body will be fine once the spell wears off
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
If his darling wasn't in Diasomnia before, they are now- and they share a room with him. He'll still let his darling attend to classes; however, the second a class is over they must report back to him. There isn't even any chance for them to ask for help: Sebek will absolutely go the extra mile to find any curse or spell that will force his darling to not be able to talk about their current dilemma. Aside from classes, every waking moment of his darling's time is spent with Sebek.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
Not very. He's always high-strung and ready to reprimand someone for not adressing lord Maleus correctly: he has very little tolerance for mistakes or misbehaviours in his darling's part. Luckily he rarely truly "punishes" his darling: for the most part he loudly reprimands them for a couple hours.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
He would be devastated. Death, escape- whatever it was, it simply showed he failed as a lover. He'd definitely blame himself for not being careful enough- and he wouldn't be able to replace his darling, ever. He'll probably grow and marry whatever fae woman crosses his path just to get people to shut up about how he's "worryingly lonely", but he's definitely broken inside for the rest of his life.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
No? Why would he? He isn't doing anything wrong- at least that's what Lilia told him (in fact Lilia knows how messed up the whole ordeal is, but... Hey! Free entertainment for him!). Besides, he's definitely helping his darling improve by forcing them to stick to his strict schedule. They should be happy! Thanks to him they get the privileged job of watching over Maleus by his side.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
He's been training his whole life to protect his lord. There simply wasn't any room for love before, and he'd never dealt with such strong emotions. His naturally intense attitude love advice coming from an equally inexperienced Maleus and definitely malicious love advice coming from Lilia who just wanted to see how far Sebek would take it, combined with how much he discovered he enjoyed affection and praise from his darling, ended up being a mix that sealed his darling's fate.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
Confusion and guilt. Is this- is this his fault? He definitely panics: he's never had to comfort someone like this in his life. He'll force his darling into bed and tuck them in, trying to confort them how he best remembers babies are comforted- however, if his darling was crying because of him, he'll probably make it even worse with all his attempts to "help".
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
His darling isn't gone from the public's eye: everyone knows very well they are currently in Diasomnia and always by Sebek's side. He isn't trying to keep his darlin for himself only- he truly doesn't mind if they have to interact with teachers during class, or if they have to be seen by classmates. His darling never goes missing: they are just always, ALWAYS, by his side.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
There's not much his darling can do to escape. Sure, his easy to fluster side would be almost too easy to exploit- if his darling took initiative and kissed him, and encouraged him to get handsy, he'd get so overwhelmed and flustered he'd have to excuse himself to "cool off" for a good while. However- because his darling is already hexed and cursed and under god knows how many tracking and entrapment spells, it's an useless endeavour.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Again, he'll never go further than a slap. He's very hesitant to hurt his darling with his hands- however he really won't hesitate to place any sort of spell to cause unbearable, writhing pain on his darling if he believes they deserve it.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Praise him too much and let him get too much confidence and suddenly he's all over his darling. He'd never admit it, but he's a bit of a pervert- he'd probably spent hours staring at his darling before, and now he can't keep his hands off them. But once he regains composure he immediately scrambles off- no! He only serves Maleus!
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
It really doesn't take long. He's never felt this way before, and his trusted seniors are telling him to just act on those dark impulses so... Why not?
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
It wouldn't be shoking. The tight schedule, the expectations, the mental torture of his punishments- his darling is bound to break eventually. Sebek would wonder why his darling's eyes are suddenly so lifeless, and why they speak so robotically- it's like they're just repeating the same words of praise to him without meaning it, barely even talking anymore. However, he doesn't mind: even though his darling isn't fit to be Maleus' guard anymore, they're still his darling- he might even feel less ashamed of affection with a darling so utterly broken!
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