claunspach

[all-rock-and-roll-is-homosexual]

📸: Fairlight

[usafphantom2]

SAC Crew Dogs: The Elephant Walk, The Wing Commander, and the Boom

T Campbell

@tcamp202

·

4h

… as the crew pulled up to the Alert shack, they could see the Wing Commander’s Chrysler Reliant K-Car parked right at the main entrance to the shack. The Air Force blue car was still smoking a bit, and most of the paint had been burned away… somebody was gonna get a chuck taken, that much was sure…

This is the retelling of a story I heard as an A1C (Airmen First Class) while pulling SAC Alert at Loring AFB when I was a Boom Operator in the KC-135 A model. It was probably embellished when it was told, and I might embellish it even more… cause you know, that’s how Alert Stories go. I do hope that I do it justice in my retelling.

In order to understand the humor in this small fairy tale, I first need to explain a couple of technical details about KC-135 operations. It’s a lot of background to tell a silly old story, but please bear with me… the story is funny (or at least I think it is.)

Engine Start: The KC-135A was equipped with the Pratt and Whitney JP-57-P/F-43W, good solid engines, but they required a lot of tender loving care, and if they didn’t get it, they let you know in a hurry. There were a few different ways to start the engines.

The most common was to have an air cart connected to the aircraft. It would supply air to the bleed air manifold and would be used to start all four engines.

Another way we could start the engines was often called a Cart Start. Using a Cartridge, a canister about the size of a large coffee can, filled with a slow burning explosive, which could create enough air to turn the starter long enough to start the engine. All four engines could use Cartridges.

If you had any single engine running, you could use bleed air from that engine to start the others, however, you had to push up the power a bit to generate enough air pressure in the bleed air manifold.

Image

Gases escaping after turning the engine starter during a Cartridge Start on a KC-135A.

Photo from https://www.airliners.net/photo/USA-Air-Force/Boeing-KC-135A-Stratotanker-717-148/666058/L

Hot Starts: One thing that these engines did not like at all was being started with an insufficient amount of bleed air, whether from a ground cart, or the other engines. Failure to get the engine turning fast enough when adding fuel often resulted in hot starts with flames shooting out the back of the engine, kind of like an afterburner, but these flames weren’t blue… they were a reddish yellow, like fire and could reach out to the tail of the aircraft. Sometimes flames would even shoot out the front. They were dangerous. Fire bottles were always on hand for engine starts, just in case.

Engine Shutdown: After landing, the pilots would stow the spoilers, retract the flaps (otherwise, tower might think we’d been hijacked) and shut down two of the engines, usually the inboards to avoid accidentally sucking up anything from the taxiways into the engines, and also, so that when the ground crew chocked the tires, they wouldn’t have to walk closely to a running engine.

However, on Alert, we always shut down the outboard engines first, so the ground crew could install a new Cartridge in the #1 engine (furthest to the left.) The cartridges were dangerous, and the last thing the crew chief wanted was a running engine behind him and no escape route if there were any problems. Once the cartridge was installed, the other engines could be shut down because we had the ability to restart the jet if required.

Ok… if you’re still with me… great! Last thing you need to know is about Elephants walks on Alert. An elephant walk is where a group of airplanes get all configured for a mission, start engines and taxi out, but instead of taking off, they just taxi down the runway. Kind of like a parade.

For elephant walks on Alert, this process is started with the Klaxon going off and the brass inspect the aircraft as they are taxing to ensure they are all properly configured for takeoff. Think of it as your typical military inspection… you know, “Trim those nose hairs” type of affair, but with airplanes.

Last thing to remember… SAC took Alert VERY seriously. Everything had to be done by the book, and if it wasn’t, there’d be hell to pay. The aircraft always had to be ready to launch on the nuclear mission to refuel B-52s. As they say, failure was not an option.

So… now that you are armed with some knowledge on how the KC-135 normally operates, it’s time to tell our story.

Image

An Elephant Walk. KC-135 R models (bigger engines), not A models... but it gives you the idea... imagine a car driving between the aircraft to inspect them. Our ill fated crew was somewhere in the middle of the line.

Once upon a time, there was a crew… we’ll call them R-113 with Captain William Bligh as the commander, the co-pilot and nav shall remain nameless, but the Boom Operator was SSgt Fletcher Christian. They were on Alert, spending another seven days cooped up in the Alert facility, and serving their country. Breakfast started the day followed by a mandatory briefing at oh eight hundred. After this, maybe some ground training or bon bons and the Price is Right, and then it’s lunch time. A combat nap would take up most of the afternoon, followed by dinner around five. All the while, waiting for the Klaxon to sound off. Not exactly riveting stuff, let me tell you.

“FOR ALERT FORCE, FOR ALERT FORCE, KLAXON KLAXON KLAXON”

One day, our fateful day, the Klaxon went off and the crew sprinted out to their aircraft. This is a hectic event. Get the covers off the engines, get the door opened, rush up into the cockpit, check all is clear, and fire up those Cartridges to start the engines. Black smoke is billowing everywhere and it’s hard to see, but the engines get started, the crew chief makes his way up the ladder into the aircraft, and they button up to the aircraft, ready to taxi.

On the sidelines, the Wing Commander is proudly watching his KC-135s do what they do best. He watches the rolling clouds of thick black, toxic smoke as the engines start.

“FOR ALERT FORCE, FOR ALERT FORCE, MESSAGE FOLLOWS… SIERA NOVEMBER ALPHA FOXTROT UNIFORM…”

The message from command post… it’s an elephant walk exercise. The aircraft will taxi out of the Cage, the Alert pad for the KC-135s, and out to the runway. There, they will taxi about halfway down the runway, turn off and line up, nose to tail, on the returning taxiway waiting to be inspected by the Wing Commander.

While sitting in line, with a tanker just in front of him, and another just behind, Captain Blight decides to save some fuel, he’s going to shut down two of the engines. This is normal. However, instead of shutting down the outboard engines, as was normal in this situation, he shuts down the inboard engines as if he’d just finished a normal flight.

As soon as the throttles were in the cut off position, he realizes his mistake, but there’s nothing he can do. He announces his dilemma over the crew’s intercom… so the boom, SSgt Christian says, “Hey, just restart them, what’s the big deal?”

Meanwhile, at the end of this line of KC-135s, the Wing Commander starts inspecting the aircraft. He drives by each jet, taking a zig zag route through the jets, looking to ensure the flaps are set correctly, the stabilizer trim (the horizontal portion of the tail) is trimmed to the correct position for takeoff. He’s quite proud of his jets… maybe he’ll get another promotion and get the h*ll out of this sh*t hole base.

Captain Bligh says, “In order to start the engines, I’m gonna have to push up the outboards a bit to get enough bleed air, but I don’t want to FOD (foreign object damage) out the jet behind us, but ok, let’s do it.” He pushes up the outboard throttles as much as he dares and starts the engine start sequence for the number two engine (left inboard). He turns on the ignition, and then after the engine has just barely enough rpms, the turns on the fuel.

Right about this time, the Wing Commander has finished looking at the jet behind our ill fated crew, and he is crossing behind Captain Bligh’s number two engine, when a huge flame, at least forty feet long come shooting out of the back of the engine, right onto the hood of his car.

As you might be able to imagine… the radios come to life and the Wing Commander starts screaming about the jet with the flames coming out of it… followed by “Everybody report to the briefing room (at the Alert shack) after re-cocking the aircraft.”

It was pretty quite for the next thirty minutes or so, while Captain Bligh and crew got their aircraft re-cocked for Alert. After they wrap things up, they get in their Alert truck and head back. There was a little discussion though, they had to get their story straight.

As the crew pulled up to the Alert shack, they could see the Wing Commander’s Chrysler Reliant K-Car (remember, we bailed out Chrysler) parked right at the main entrance to the shack. Oh sh*t… this wasn’t going to be good. The Air Force blue car was still smoking a bit, and most of the paint had been burned away from the front fender and hood. There was no doubt, the briefing room was not going to be a pleasant place to be.

As the last crew sat down, somebody called “Attention”, and everybody stood up at attention. The Wing Commander walked down the center isle and up to the podium. “Crew 113… get up here!”

The Wing Commander addressing Captain Bligh asked, “Why on earth were you restarting your engines?”

Captain Bligh responded, “My Boom Operator said to.”

Lesson learned… if you are the lowest ranking guy, always look be on the look out for sh*t rolling downhill.

@tcamp202 via X

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

(Finally remembered to continue the Peanut and Clipsy Chronicles)

Clipsy’s turn to get wrecked! And once he’s down, Lunara’s jumping Solstaire while his guard is down.

Now is the perfect time for Frostbite to appear and clear up the situation. So now there’s a 12ft moon-gator in the sewer, trying to help Piper explain that Pyroclasm isn’t going to hurt them, it’s just a serial adopter with no impulse control and Bloodmoon tendencies.

Sun trying to convince Clipsy that it’s better for someone else to fix him, because they can see his insides better.

Peanut just has to deal with a grumpy human child until he finally warms up to the new big brother. It’s gonna be so fun when Kidclipse just hands Clipsy and Peanut plushies that shoot lasers out of their mouths. Obviously his new family members need better weapons for whatever they were running from.

Torp does not have the energy for higher standards. He’s permanently stuck in low-battery mode, he’s pretty apathetic from being tired 24/7.

Antumbra does not like the teasing at first. He’ll get used to it and respond more lightheartedly eventually.

Fortunately Peanut and Clipsy don’t have to worry about nudity pranks, since their suits don’t come off like the other models

Bloodmoon and Peanut bond over watching the Eclipses fight behind KC and Honey’s backs.

“Monty built me a space ship as a gift. And now we’re in space. Doing pirate things.” Captain Foxy explains. Stells jumps in with “We’re nowhere near Earth, and we’re not going back anytime soon, so welcome to your new home!”

Clipsy just turns into a complete mess. He’s been tickled by peanut before but god he cannot handle lunaras pure feral energy. And apparently neither can solstaire

That absolutely makes it worse but at the same time they’re happy to get any explanation they can. They’ll continue to ask them questions to get an idea of who stole them and what’s going on.

Clipsy would be reluctant but would agree in the end that it’s probably for the best

They don’t realize the plushies are guns at first so they find it utterly adorable. They’re gonna need to be told that it’s a weapon before they accidentally shoot someone with it XD

His standards are very low lmao. He’s an interesting character

He’ll learn to bond over the snark.

Oh my god nudity pranks. XDD that sounds insane. They’ll probably find out that the prank doesn’t work the hard way

It’s just fun to see them bicker :)

Clipsy just is like “well fuck, I mean I guess this might as well happen.” Peanut has… so many questions. They just… chose to leave earth to be pirates forever?

[softandwildx]

I live in the KC Metro, where Ralph Yarl was shot.

Today, an African American kid came to our house doing door to door sales. We talked with him about the product for a long time, and about Ralph Yarl. He told us about his experience in our neighborhood and how most people have been perfectly pleasant, but he's had run ins with jerks, too. My mom told him to "be safe, because I worry about you," and sent him along with some water.

He came back to our house tonight, sheepishly hoping we'd let him back in because he was cold, and hungry, and is thousands of miles away from home to be working out here. He asked if we'd be kind enough to give him a snack. He sat at our dinner table for about two hours, eating his first home cooked meal in weeks and laughing and talking about what's going on in the world right now. My grandma even asked him if his "friend was a serious friend." So basically, he's part of the family now. 😂 He's even coming back another day (maybe we'll have some KC bbq waiting for him 😋)

This might seem strange to a lot of people, and to others it might seem like I'm virtue signaling about bringing a black kid in our house or something, and that's not my intention at all.

Truthfully I am incredibly scared for him walking around here or anywhere, and I'm glad that he trusted us enough to come into our home and get warm and fed. I can't imagine nor could I ever try to understand what it must be like to be him in this country at this moment in time.

I'm mostly just writing this because yes, it felt good to open our home and see how appreciative he was. But I'm more just thinking about so many kids like Ralph Yarl who didn't get that. They got much, much worse. And it's not okay.

I hate this country right now. I'm terrified of it, and I am much more privileged than many. And I guess the thought at the forefront of my mind is that.. as bad as things are, as hopeless and frustrating and dangerous and horrible things seem to be getting, I can do something good and kind for someone in need. And someone whose safety is at risk moreso than mine, for certain. Maybe when he goes home, he'll tell his family that there was at least one other family who was kind to him in a sea of terrible, cruel people. Or maybe he'll forget all about us but at least he went home with a full belly and warm bones. Either way, I'm glad.

And that's enough to live on for awhile. And if we can do it, so can you.

Don't be standoffish and rude to salespeople, because they are just trying to do their jobs just like everyone else. Be trustful and kind and welcoming to everyone you cross paths with, because you have no idea what they're dealing with or the hardships they're facing. Be especially kind and protective of the people of color in your communities. If you have the means, do what you can to help them.

And for god's sake, don't be a fucking racist. And stop shooting black kids for walking up to you or simply because their existence "threatens" you.

[sljuke]

Marvel Weekly #1

Hello peeps, this is SLJuke here with the first edition of MARVEL WEEKLY. This will be coming to you every week and sometimes there might be delays but this will always happen and if any “BREAKING NEWS” happens, y’all will be hearing it that day so it depends so there might be only 1 thing per week or there might be 5 or more. Also THERE MIGHT BE SPOILER WARNINGS SO TURN AWAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM. Anyways let’s start the news! Just last night, Kang actor Johnathan Majors got arrested and is charged with strangulation, assault, and harassment. If he did do that, then Marvel Studios is going to have to delay a bunch of projects and push projects forward and have to rewrite stories so they can find themselves a new actor to play Kang The Conqueror, let’s hope that he didn’t because he was one of the only good things about Ant-Man and The Wasp Quantamania (my opinion). On other news an insider named KC Walsh said that Secret Invasion which was supposed to come out in February and then got pushed back to May is getting pushed back to June and won’t move anymore. Samuel L. Jackson got spotted in a Scottish Town called Livingston filming a ‘Top-Secret’ Project and it’s rumored to be either the Marvels, which is coming out in November or Secret Invasion, my take is it's Secret Invasion. This next report comes from the Cosmic Circus and they’ve learned from their sources that Secret Invasion gives of spy thriller vibes that are reminiscent of Captain America The Winter Soldier and that there is a portion of the show that is appearing to take place in Russia at an abandoned power plant that is potentially Chernobyl but it isn’t confirmed whether or not Marvel Studios will tell us whether it is or not but it is confirmed that it is a hideout for Rebel Skrulls and that they’re using the underground levels of the plant to build a device that is shown in the D23 trailer and the theory for the device is to make Super Skrulls(I’m paraphrasing some of this stuff so go along with it lol). Ultron is supposed to return in Armor Wars and be played by James Spader again. Rumors say that Marvel may be turning to their old ways with darker tones in Captain America: New World Order and Thunderbolts. The tone for Daredevil Born Again is heard to go darker than what is shown in the MCU. Insider MyTimeToShineHello has been talking about multiple TV-MA and Rated R MCU projects. The scooper named thevscooper showed us some upcoming suits for Daredevil Born Again and the first one is an upgraded version of the Netflix one, the second one is a fully red one, and the last but not least one is a fully dark one and the DD Logo that Daredevil has in the comics might appear in some of the suits. In the last megadump of information from The Marvel Studios Spoilers Subreddit before it got taken down with a ton of leaks with Secret Wars getting split into two parts, Phase 7 is a phase that takes place in Battleworld, a Wakanda Series done in animation, a Mephisto Halloween Special Presentation shooting alongside Agatha Coven of Chaos, The Sentry who’s supposedly the main villain of Thunderbolts is getting a Special Presentation shooting alongside Thunderbolts and take the first two with a grain of salt but the rest have been corroborated by sources that have been very reliable and some I’ve already talked about. The other projects that were there are More I Am Groot Shorts in 2024, Man-Thing Halloween Special 2024, Silver Surfer Holiday Special 2024, Vision Quest Tv Show 2025, Young Avengers, Midnight Angels TV Series, Ghost Rider Halloween Special 2025, Nova Holiday Special 2025, Spider-Man 4 (Tom Holland’s version of the webslinger), Strange Academy TV Series Late 2025/Early 2026, Doctor Strange 3 2026, Ms. Marvel Season 2 2026(This show was amazing and I would wonder what would be in Season 2), Moon Knight Season 2 2026(I loved this show and I really hope we get this), Midnight Suns 2026, She-Hulk Season 2 2026 (I hope this is not a thing and if it is I will scream), Untitled Halloween Special (Don’t know what it is), World War Hulk 2026 (What we’ve been waiting for, bezerker Hulk to be back), Untitled Holiday Special 2026 (Don’t know what this is either), What If…? Season 3 2027(Idk if this would happen but there’s so many stories, maybe we might get an episode where it’s what if the MCU was comic accurate and didn’t underpower or overpower people), Eternals 2(Same thing as She-Hulk Season 2), Illuminati Show 2027, and finally 2nd part of Avengers Secret Wars (If it’s a thing, I think this would probably be bigger than Avatar and if not true, Avengers Secret Wars will still be bigger than Avatar). There was a few projects that got trademarks like Captain America Red, White, and Black, Celestials: End of Time, Nomad, The Black Knight: Origins, and Avengers Eternity Wars. These projects that got trademarked were also in the leaks for the trademarks for The Multiverse Saga, The Eternity Saga, The Timeless Saga, Avengers: The Kang Dynasty, Avengers: Secret Wars, Thunderbolts, and Captain America New World Order. Midnight Sons was trademarked on there and this stuff is amazing to hear with all of these projects. I’m sorry if this is so long lol but I want to tell you one more thing, it’s called the Geekly Weekly, it’s another thing like this that I’m going to start the week after Christmas because that is the week after Aquaman 2 comes out but that weekly will be just like this but it will be movies, tv shows, games, etc. with DC, Star Wars, TMNT, Power Rangers, etc. Please dm me if you have anything that you want me to talk about but if you don’t thank you for reading this long thing which will take a while, I’m SLJuke and this is Marvel Weekly, Love y’all,

 Sources: Den of Nerds, MyTimeToShineHello, thevscooper, and Cosmic Circus.

[withyouandthemoon]

Kc + Rivals + Businesses + Secret One Night stand

Caroline checks the items on her clipboard for one last time, feeling the pressure of her high heels digging into the soles of her feet. It’s been a long day with a thousand accidents and mishaps, but finally the book reading she’s arranged for this evening seems like it’s actually going to turn out a success. The decorations look welcoming and tasteful, the finger foods appetizing, and the chairs that she had to threaten at least three different people with literal murder in order to get fit amazingly into the warm atmosphere of her little bookstore. Quite a lot of guests are already showing up and browsing even though they have another half an hour before the official starting time, and the author is sat in Caroline’s office peeking out the windows in a formfitting silk shirt instead of the borderline obscene dress that she was wearing twenty minutes ago.

If forcing Katherine Pierce to change her outfit is the only thing she’s managed to do today, Caroline would still call it an astounding achievement and pour herself that extra glass of celebratory wine at the end of the day.

“What is he doing here?”

Startled by Katherine’s contemptuous tone, Caroline looks up and stares right into the eyes of the devil. How he always manages to throw that annoying smirk her way the second he enters her store, Caroline has no idea. But as usual, she ignores the strange stumble of her heart and reciprocates with a glare.

“Hell if I know. Checking out the competition, I guess.” At least that’s the reason he feeds her.

“Oh, you mean his dingy, dusty hole of stuck-up white male whiners is still not out of business?” Katherine snorts, “this really is a nice neighborhood.”

Caroline huffs a laugh. Klaus Mikaelson’s bookstore, The Original, is just a few blocks down the road, and despite them being supposed rivals as local business owners, she doesn’t have anything against the store itself. Does she think the selection is a tad outdated and elitist? Maybe. Does she mentally roll her eyes at the dark, pretentious decor? Absolutely. But overall the store’s not bad, not that she’d ever admit it to Klaus.

No. What she has a problem with is his very off-putting personality.

And the fact that she sneaked out of his apartment at 5 a.m. this morning with heels dangling in her hands and yesterday’s panties stuffed in her purse.

“Well, I know I said I’d be nice just this one evening for your sake, Forbes,” Katherine flips her hair, “but if he stands in line for my autograph I’m not making any promises.”

Caroline sighs. This is what happens when the author you invite to your store is also your best friend who trashes any person you’ve complained about even once, only twice as hard.

“Behave,” she waves her pen at the grinning brunette. “I’ll go deal with him.”

On second thought, she might need that glass of wine a little earlier.

She makes a beeline to the event area, smiling at the clueless customers along her way while shooting daggers at Klaus who has already procured himself a drink.

“Good evening, Caroline,” he raises the glass at her, a lilt in his voice just enough to line sincerity with a suspicious amount of mockery. “Quite an impressive arrangement you’ve got here.”

“Come with me,” she hisses at him, taking a hold of his elbow and drags him through the crowd without a backward glance. Klaus comes willingly, following her until they are at a quieter corner of her store, where she’s just put on a small display of dark-themed horrors and thrillers. She reckons the screaming faces and bloody murder weapons on the book covers would set the tone for their upcoming chat pretty nicely.

“What are you doing here?” She crosses her arms and watches him with alarmed eyes, ready to assert her right to refuse service at any second.

“Isn’t it our duty as business owners to support other local businesses as much as we can?” He quotes her own words at the local business gathering a few weeks ago back at her. She hates when he does that.

“If you really want to show your support,” Caroline bites out, “you can leave.”

“That’s not the message you sent out when you were woman-handling me back there,” Klaus licks his lips, a suggestive glimmer under his eyelashes, and Caroline feels a flush on her cheeks. “Or when you were calling out my name so sweetly last night -”

“Shut up!”

Klaus zips his lips up with a signature smirk, watching in amusement as Caroline runs a hand through her hair, messing up the meticulous curls she’s wearing for the night. In the uncomfortable silence he picks up a book from the shelf he’s leaning on, idly leafing through the pages while Caroline stews in her indignation and embarrassment.

Caroline is not thankful for that at all, since he was the one bringing up the source of her embarrassment in the first place.

It truly was a night of shame.

She was drinking at the bar at her favorite restaurant, asking for a second shot of tequila because she was tired, over-stressed, and in a wallowing mood. Of course that was when Klaus came in, and stayed her unofficial drinking buddy for the night despite sitting two seats away, and constantly bickering with her. They exchanged insults without looking each other in the eyes, and threw down drinks simultaneously without proposing a toast. It almost felt comfortable – as comfortable as it could be with Klaus’s accent sounding increasingly melodic in her alcohol-induced haze, and his furtive glances hurtling little sparks of flame in the mix.

Another two drinks down and they stopped talking shop. Conversation subjects started to venture into uncharted territories, scary and exhilarating. She must have been drunk, because as she so easily navigated from literary tastes to the latest movie adaptations to TV stars with Klaus, she felt as if walking on wobbly legs when the first brush of night air hit. The whole world tilted, but fresh and new.

The fellow business owner turned out to be fairly fun when he wasn’t busy criticizing the graphic novels and adult coloring books she kept in highlighted spots in her store – albeit in a totally judgmental, totally haughty way. He merely hummed when Caroline revealed that her favorite author was one – surprise, surprise – Jane Austen, and kept whatever acidic commentary to himself for once.

And naturally Caroline was curious, “what, you don’t think it’s ‘generic and juvenile’?” He’d certainly used those exact words on some of her other beloved titles.

“A classic’s a classic.”

“Of course you would say that,” Caroline snorts, thinking about the walls of classics looming in Klaus’s small store. He really should have opened up the space a bit – the book selection was intimidating as it was.

“For your information, I do enjoy a Jane Austen story once in a while.”

“See, I always pictured you the type of person who would up their nose and scorn at the Austen fan girls.”

The corner of his lips lifted up slightly, “and you pictured right. A lot might think themselves Austen heroines, but really they are just the sentimental fools that real Austen heroines try not to laugh too hard at in their point-of-view narratives.” He swirls his drink, eyes lingering on Caroline’s face a second too long, “not everyone can be Elizabeth Bennett, with her sharp mind and beautiful eyes.”

“Just like a bad attitude doesn’t make you Mr. Darcy,” she shot back at him.

“Touché,” he laughed softly, dimples deepening.

And for reasons unknown, she laughed with him.

In retrospect, Caroline was surprised that she was having a rather decent time with him before her moment of poor judgment. She’d followed him back to him apartment, just to see his signed copy of a first edition On the Road (how typical). She ended up digging into his personal collection of Russian poetry – she’d always been somewhat secretly fond of Russian literature, and was taken by surprise when she discovered the great selection in Klaus’s store. One minute she was complaining about the “weird look” he was giving her when she took the short story collection of Ivan Bunin to his check-out counter, the next his lips were on hers.

It was messy, and irresponsible, and so fucking hot. She remembered every second of his hands on her, in her, around her, with his hard body pressing into hers and his giant bookshelf digging so sinfully into her back. Hot breaths, wet kisses, and a high she hadn’t experienced for ages, so wrong and good and right, when he made her scream and writhe, her head turned to the side while he sweetly sucked on her throat, her eyes blearily staring into the sturdy spine of Crime and Punishment.

How ironic.

She has done her crime, and now comes her punishment.

Caroline sighs, frustrated, looking anywhere but Klaus’s eyes peeking at her from behind the cover of John le Carré. An involuntary shiver runs down her body as her line of sight seems to be fixed on his fingers; as if in slow motion they gently rub, roll, and twist to separate the pages, reminding her of just what they can do with those exact motions.

She quickly averts her eyes again, and mentally hangs onto the very first thing she can come up with to judge him – to steel herself. Le Carré. Spy novel. Why not – he’s certainly dark and twisted enough for that. And now she’s imagining him lurking in the shadows in a trench coat.

Caroline refuses to think about what it means that recently, more often than not, the face of any character she’s reading on seems to be morphing into Klaus.

That stupid, annoying face, which is still smirking at her.

If it weren’t for the fact that it would damage the book, she’d definitely hit him right in the head with the largest, heaviest, most expensive one in her store.

“Not that I don’t enjoy this intimate time of ours,” Klaus drawls, “but isn’t your book reading about to start?”

Caroline takes in a deep breath, and slowly exhales. “Look, Klaus, this -” she gestures at the event area, “is very important to me. I don’t know why you’re here or what you want, and to be honest I don’t care. I just want this evening to go without a hitch. Anything else can wait,” she grinds out the last bit with unvoiced threat.

“I can maybe get on board with the concept of book reading, but Katherine Pierce and The Power of Female Pleasure?” Klaus raises an eyebrow, “that’s what you’re going with?”

Caroline rolls her eyes, not bothering to tell him that the feeling’s completely mutual on Katherine’s part. “You just don’t like anyone who dares to contradict you.”

Klaus locks his eyes with hers, an unreadable look on his face, “you have no idea just how wrong you are.” But soon a smirk slips back in place, “plus, judging by your very passionate responses last night, I obviously have more authority on the subject than she.”

“Klaus,” forget the giant tome, Caroline’s just going to strangle him with her bare hands. There’s got to be at least one tip on how to safely dispose of the body in her well-curated display of murder mysteries. “What happened last night, stays last night. And not a word of it to anyone, you hear me?”

“You mean I don’t get to climb on the counter and shout out that we had amazing sex last night to a room full of strangers?”

“Klaus!”

“Fine,” Klaus shrugs and pushes the le Carré back onto the shelf. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book reading to attend.”

For the love of God, Caroline hopes that he doesn’t go stand in line for Katherine’s autograph.

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #37 (Bonus)

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: First bonus chapter! Quite some people asked me when Everett might get what he deserves. Well, here you go (finally)! Judith Harris belongs to @judediangelo75 , David Willows to @that-scouse-wizard and Katriona KC Cassiopeia – as always – to my wonderful wifey @kc-needs-coffee

Warning: The smallest mention of blood

Word Count: ~ 2.700

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Bonus - Chapter 37: Doppelbeater Defense

Despite of the biting wind in her face as she whizzed through the air, Lizzie could feel a drop of sweat making its way down beneath her shoulder blades and along her spine. Ignoring the soft tickle, she gripped the Quaffle tighter and held it to her body as she ducked beneath a Bludger send in her direction by Erika Rath and prepared to make her move.

Whipping her broomstick sideways at the last possible moment, she used the momentum to let go of the Quaffle and send it through the left one of the other team’s hoops. The Keeper had no chance to block her throw and she broke into a grin as the goalposts lit up for a moment, signalling her success to the crowd.

“Jameson scores for her team in an almost artistic manner!” Murphy reaffirmed only moments later. “Her choice of hoop came 68.5 % unexpected and left the Keeper with no chance to deflect the Quaffle in time.”

Her grin widened as she flew along the stands and let the whooping of the fans spur her on. Considering that they were only playing a friendly, the stands were packed. The Quidditch season was over and Hufflepuff the reigning Quidditch champion; to let out some of the penned up energy, Orion and Rath had decided to organise a mixed match for the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw teams. With the exams being almost over, a lot of their peers had found their way onto the scalding hot pitch today, just happy to escape the dusky shadows of the castle for a few hours.

In full flight, she held onto the handle of her broom before coming into a standing position as she surfed past her friends, raising her fist into the air. Lizzie had pretty much abandoned broom surfing for a long time, but had picked it up again this year; ever since she and Orion had started dating officially three weeks earlier, it had slowly but surely developed into her favourite way to celebrate a scored goal.

Sitting down, Lizzie made her way back into the middle of the pitch again. With a smile just as bright as her own, Orion came up beside her, visibly proud of both her goal and her skilled display of his favourite flying technique; he had taught it to her after all. He clapped his gloved hand on her shoulder and gave her the smallest wink. When the Quaffle re-entered the game, he smirked, turned around and was gone chasing after it.

Completely lost in thought, Lizzie stared after him. The place on her shoulder where his hand had rested only moments earlier, was still tingling and she felt her heart beat faster. She watched as he relieved Skye of the Quaffle with a laugh and a graceful swipe of his hand. Even though it had been some time since they had gotten together now, the thought that he was actually her boyfriend still felt surreal to her.

She was violently broken out of her dazed state when she saw a Bludger racing towards her at a ridiculous speed. It was aimed straight for her head and she only managed to duck out of it’s way at the last moment. She could feel the air move as it whizzed past her, her heart beating in her ears, this time from pure adrenaline. She let out a shaky breath; that had been a close one.

Straightening up again, she whipped her broomstick around and flew over to Everett, who had beat the iron sphere her way. He smirked at her flustered state as she came to a halt directly in front of him.

“Are you mad or what?” Lizzie snapped at him. “This is supposed to be a friendly! We don’t go for the head in a friendly!”

Unimpressed, Everett looked her up and down haughtily. “Shut it, Jameson, it’s your problem if your distracted.”

His sneer turned into a derogatory smirk as he continued, “You’d better focus, sunshine; we wouldn’t want that pretty face of yours smashed, would we? I guess, the captain would like you considerably less then. After all, there’s not much more to you than a halfway decent look.”

Her temper flaring for a moment, Lizzie had the strong urge to just push Everett of his broom and be done with it. Instead, she took a deep breath, grit her teeth and left him behind. Arguing with the sixth-year was no use; she knew it was his hurt pride speaking. He had been shooting snide remarks at her ever since she and Orion had become a couple. Letting him get under her skin was exactly what he wanted.

Even though she tried to ignore his comments, Everett was far from done with her. Every time she came close to him over the course of the match, he was shouting a new profanity at her, every new one worse than the last. After a while, despite her best efforts, his verbal attacks were distracting her so much she couldn’t concentrate on playing anymore.

Her passes were starting to get unprecise, her manoeuvres were failing more often than not. When she tried to bring the Quaffle past the opposing Keeper, her throw got blocked with ease. Annoyed with herself, Lizzie gave vent to her frustration with a scream and a hit against the handle of her Comet.

Her increasing anger didn’t go unnoticed by Orion. Hovering beside her, he was trying to centre her again with his calm, reassuring voice until Lizzie felt her rage melt away at the sight of his smile. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him thankfully and returned into action by his side.

But Orion hadn’t been the only one to notice Everett’s constant slurs. Judith and Katriona, who was one of the Ravenclaws playing on Lizzie’s team, had already shared more than one eyeroll ever since Everett had started attacking their friend. All of them were sick and tired of his rudeness anyway, but his behaviour today was just downright disgusting.

When the Hufflepuff Beater made the mistake of sending a Bludger to the spot where both of them were hovering in the air, KC and Judith only needed to share a look between them to know what to do.

Anticipating the rotating Bludger with their bats raised and ready, they hit the Bludger both at the same time. It changed its course back to its sender with incredible speed, leaving Everett no time to dodge it. With an audible, ugly sounding crack it collided with his nose, blood spurting out of his nostrils as he dropped his bat and cried out in pain.

Murphy winced into his megaphone as the stands around him erupted into cheers. “Ouch, that must have hurt, ladies and gentlemen! Someone had better get Madam Pomfrey to take a look at this, there’s a 98.6 % chance of a really nasty bruise.”

The laughter in Murphy’s clear voice was very badly hidden and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. “But all jokes aside, the only thing more fabulous than this perfect display of one of the most challenging Beater manoeuvres known to any skilled Quidditch strategist is the sheer perfection of the two players conducting it! With Harris’s unmatched strength and Cassiopeia’s unrivalled technique, the Tigress and Ravenclaw’s rising star effectively knock Everett out of the game, giving their team a considerable advantage.”

It was true; Everett had clapped his hands in front of his face and was in no state to stay on his broomstick much longer, let alone continue playing. His eyes shot daggers at them through his fingers, Judith glaring back and KC only shrugging it off nonchalantly; he’d had it coming after all.

*

Luckily for all of them, the Snitch had been caught pretty quickly after KC and Judith had broken Everett’s nose, leaving no room for more injuries, accidental or no.

Being a member of his original team, Orion had insisted on escorting Everett to the Hospital Wing, however impossible he might have acted. Madam Pomfrey had been busy when they had arrived, so her assistant had taken care of him. Her healing spells were usually impeccable, but today she claimed she had been distracted by a nasty headache. Lizzie suspected very much she hadn’t been distracted at all. They had left a cursing and ranting Everett to her further care and had made their way to the Great Hall.

With one more exam still ahead of them, Murphy and Orion had separated from the rest of the team to go over their notes together, while Judith, KC and Lizzie had found seats at the Hufflepuff table.

They were chatting about the match, the Charms exam taking place in two days’ time and the prospect of new players come next season. While KC was enjoying the prospect of fresh blood, both Lizzie and Judith were sighing at the idea of having to spend another year with Everett on their team.

“You know, David Willows could step up,” Judith suggested between two bites of her dinner. “He’d fit the team so much better than that airhead.”

Lizzie tilted her head. “I thought he was stuck in detention forever.”

“Only for the whole year, next year he should be free again,” Judith shrugged, “if he doesn’t do any more stupid stunts, that is.”

“Any more stupid stunts and get caught, you mean,” KC added with a smirk.

Judith laughed. “Naturally.”

Her golden eyes wandered from her friends’ faces to something in Lizzie’s back and one of her eyebrows arched in dismay. “Speaking of the devil…”

Lizzie turned around to see Everett stomping their way. His face was looking truly dreadful; his nose was hidden under a thick bandage and the skin around it red and bruised. The proportions of his usually not unattractive face were oddly contorted by the swelling. What was visible of the rest of his face was screaming murder as he approached them.

He drew himself up to his full height as he stared down at the three girls. He would have looked threatening had his broken nose not made quiet wheezing noises every time he breathed.

“Look what you did to my face,” he snarled at them through gritted teeth, his fists shaking with rage. “This is all your fault! That incompetent amateur of a healer said my nose might not go back to the way it was before! You’ll answer for this!”

Lizzie shifted uncomfortably in her seat under his glare. She was honestly sick of him and his attitude and wished he would just leave them in peace; she’d had her share of insults for the day and was too tired to get into a fight.

Judith and KC, on the other hand, didn’t seem to share her notion. Judith looked him up and down, her muscular arms crossed in front of her chest, while KC’s eyes never left him. She took a deliberately slow sip of her coffee.

“I don’t see your problem,” she answered coolly after setting her mug back down. “How did you put it? It’s your fault if you’re distracted.”

She turned her attention to her fingernails, as if the sheer presence of the seething Hufflepuff Beater was boring her out of her mind.

“Look at it that way: a crooked nose might suit you after all,” she continued. “I heard it gives people more character; Godric knows you’d need that.”

Despite herself, Lizzie had to snort into her cup of pumpkin juice at KC’s words. This turned out to be a mistake, however, when Everett turned all his attention on her.

He stepped forward, right into Lizzie’s personal space. He was effectively towering over her with no chance for her to get away as he bend down to hiss into her face.

“I have no idea what’s so funny about that, Jameson. Only because you’re shagging the captain doesn’t mean you’re special in any way. Harming your teammate intentionally is against the rules, I’ll have you and Harris kicked off the team. You’ll regret this!”

He abruptly straightened himself up and began striding away, head held high, not even sparing them another glance. If he had, he had probably seen KC turning and sneakily sticking her foot out. He caught on it and swayed for a moment before he tipped over and landed face down onto the floor with a resounding bang. He screamed and Lizzie was sure to hear the crunch deformed bones for a second time that day.

Everett turned around, staring up at them with pain and hate edged onto his face. He opened his mouth to say something but there was nothing coming out of it but a loud, high pitched whine.

Not impressed in the slightest, KC rose from her seat and set a foot on Everett’s chest to prevent him from getting up. Bending down, her long, strawberry blonde curls almost grazing his face, she locked eyes with him. There was a fury burning in her blue eyes that made him go cold on the inside.

“You’re right, harming your teammates is against the rules – good thing you aren’t one of mine,” she hissed at him.

She slightly increased the pressure of her foot on his chest. “So, if I hear one more word about our lovely Lizzie or my fantastic friend Orion coming from your filthy mouth ever again, be sure to know that the next Bludger will be aimed lower – a lot lower.”

A confident smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Consider this a warning; according to Murphy I have a pretty good accuracy of 97.8 %.”

Everett made a strangled sound as KC stepped over him, applying her full weight onto his body for a moment. Judith followed her, driving the point home by tapping her Beater’s bat on his chest as she walked by with a hard stare.

KC turned her head and looked down at him; she might as well have looked at a cockroach.

“On a sidenote,” she added, suddenly sounding very sweet, “I heard the N.E.W.T.s are pretty tough to prepare for. Maybe you might want to reconsider returning to the Hufflepuff team next year. Don’t you worry about your position, we know just the replacement for you.”

“You’re bright spirit will be missed, but I think we’ll get over it,” Judith agreed with a satisfied smirk.

Everett’s gaze flicked from one to the other; if Lizzie didn’t know any better, she’d say he was actually scared of her friends.

When KC and Judith turned around to walk away, he muttered a curse under his breath, prompting the redheaded Ravenclaw to turn around again.

“What was that?”

All defiance lost, Everett cowered in on himself. “Nothing.”

“Good.”

KC’s eyes rose to Lizzie, who was still sitting at the table, staring at the scene unfolding in front of her. “Liz, are you coming?”

Lizzie snapped out of it, got up and didn’t miss out on stepping over Everett herself, a big grin on her face. Judith and KC both flanked her, linking arms with each other as they marched her out of the Great Hall.

“Godric, did you see his face?” Lizzie chuckled as soon as they were out of earshot. “He’s going to have nightmares, I bet.”

Turned more serious again, she glanced at KC. “But was that really necessary?”

“It was,” KC answered equally as serious. “He practically begged for this for a long time now.”

“I’d have done anything to not have to put up with him for another year,” Judith agreed wholeheartedly.

Lizzie laughed and pulled her friends closer as the three of them marched across the Entrance Hall in lockstep.

“Thanks girls, I appreciate it. Just do me the favour of reminding me to never ever cross my Beater Babes.”

[galvanizedfriend]

The Wolf Outtake

This is a little outtake, if you will, of The Wolf universe. It actually fits within the post-TW2 headcanons I've been writing to keep myself happy, so somewhere in S3. It's something that would never fit within the actual story because it's pure domestic fluff. lol I wrote this for @recyclingss, baby Eve's number one fan who yells at me when the child doesn't make an appearance and who’s also the biggest cheerleader this story’s ever had. 💖

This is set much later in the future, and you will notice baby Eve is actually more of toddler Eve here, but I've removed any specific context to make it so this would fit into any point of The Wolf post S2E14, I guess.

Summary: Just random KC+baby moment in The Wolf. It's fluffy, domestic, features the child and Klaus' bitter feelings for Bayou wolves. Nobody asked for it, but I figured, after the WEEK we've all had, maybe people could use some fluff? Hope you guys enjoy it! :)

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Klaus doesn't even realize it's morning already until Caroline stirs next to him, making a lazy hum deep in her throat that pulls him out of his idle reverie. He blinks his surroundings back into focus; the fluorescence that had been filtering in through the windows last time he checked has now been replaced by warm sunlight. He didn’t even notice so much time had gone by.

Caroline rolled onto her side and was quickly lulled into blissful sleep after their late-night exertions. Klaus was distracted by the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest for a long time until his mind was ensnared by its usual culprits, thoughts trapped in the latest batch of torments and woes to take over the Mikaelsons’ lives. 

 When Caroline opens her eyes and offers him a slow smile, Klaus feels himself touch ground again.

 "'Morning," she slurs in that husky voice, still thick with sleep.

 "Good morning, sweetheart," he replies with a short grin.

 Caroline yawns as she stretches out her body under the thin sheet covering her modesty.

 "Did you sleep at all?" she asks, blinking sluggishly at him.

 "I'm well-rested, if that's what you're asking."

 "It's not." Caroline props herself up on one elbow to stare levelly at him. Some of that drowsiness in her eyes dissipates, disappointment panging through him for bringing her back to the harshness of reality so fast. This is why, sometimes, especially on those not-so-rare nights when he ends up not getting any sleep, he'd rather not stay in bed. It allows the reprieve that slumber offers Caroline to last a little while longer. "Is it about Elijah?" she inquires, a knowing look on her face.

 Klaus' eyes wander away from hers. "It's about everything," he states vaguely, but not untruthfully. 

 Caroline hums unconvinced. "While I know you don't need to sleep, I also know it spells nothing but trouble when you can’t. It’s never good when you spend the whole night thinking."

 "Well, not the whole night," he says with a suggestive leer. "I did spend a good portion of the time engaged in far more pleasant activities."

 She rolls her eyes at him, but her smile is more than a little satisfied when she leans into him. "You're not as smooth as you think, Mikaelson."

 "I beg to differ." Caroline chuckles, shifting under the sheets to press herself against his side, placing a kiss on his shoulder, then his neck, his jaw. Klaus snakes a hand around her back, pulling her closer still, feeling the familiar stirrings of heat in his underbelly. "Shall I prove my point?" he all but purrs.

 Caroline smirks against the corner of his mouth, her palm coming to rest on his chest. Klaus covers her hand with his, angling his face to take her mouth into a kiss. Her breasts pressing against his skin sends a tingle shooting through his body, and his other hand is already sliding down her spine, ready to guide her to straddle him, when lively conversation in the next room makes them pause.

 "Oh-oh," Caroline mutters. "I guess that means Mr. Wolfy is up early today."

 Klaus lets out a disappointed sigh.

 Eve doesn't cry so much when she wakes up anymore. Now, she either stays quietly in her crib until someone sees to her, or she starts playing with her toys. A social butterfly like her mother, she loves to engage in complex conversations with that hideous stuffed wolf Jackson gave her and her absolute favorite toy, the wooden knight Klaus carved for Rebekah when they were children.

 When he started to wake up to the sound of her talking to herself, he became worried, thinking maybe she was seeing things they weren't - which, in New Orleans, could mean a number of horrifying deals. But Caroline assured him that it is perfectly normal for young children to talk to inanimate objects, especially one who lives exclusively amongst adults.

 Apparently, it's good exercise for her imagination, or something.

 When Klaus is watching her, he will make a point to take part in her debates, always highlighting Mr. Knight's grandeur compared to Mr. Bog Scum. 

 "Sweetheart, this filthy dog here is the enemy. He wants to shroud you in flannel, carry you away to the swamp and bore you to sleep. Mr. Knight is here to save you from this stinky animal's claws."

 He's convinced one day she'll understand what he means.

 What’s most troublesome, however, is that Eve has started to attempt to climb out of her crib on her own. They always lock the other door to her bedroom when she's asleep, but the door connecting her room to Caroline's is always left unlocked for safety reasons. One of these days, Klaus thinks, their little wolf is going to catch mommy and daddy in very compromising positions. The idea mortifies him, especially because he and Caroline can get a tad carried away. They are a hybrid and a near-hybrid, after all. Too much energy and whatnot.

 "No rest for the wicked," Caroline speaks around a sigh before peeling away from him. Klaus watches her naked form with wistfulness as she climbs out of bed, his prospect of a lovely morning enterprise disappearing alongside the shape of her beautiful breasts as she shrugs on a fleece robe.

 Caroline vamps off to the en suite bathroom to freshen up a bit and then follows to Eve's room.

 "Good morning, sweet cheeks!" she greets their daughter sunnily. "Good morning to you, too, Mr. Wolfy!" Oh, for goodness' sake, Klaus curses inwardly. "And Mr. Knight!" Much better.

 Minutes later, Caroline returns with Eve, comfortable in fresh diapers, right on her heels, carrying Mr. Inconvenient and Mr. Knight.

 When she sees Klaus, she takes off towards the bed, her little legs getting more and more agile by the day. He pulls the sheets and covers up to his chest while she tries to hoist herself up. With ease, using just one hand, Klaus lifts her up and puts her sitting on his stomach.

 "Good morning, my littlest wolf," he says. "Where's my kiss?"

 His daughter leans down and smacks a loud kiss on his cheek, and then holds Mr. Fleabag close to him for a kiss as well. Klaus makes a face. "Not the dog, Eve."

 "Seriously?" Caroline says with a bored air about her. "You're antagonizing a stuffed animal now?"

 "This thing is a health hazard."

 "That thing has a cute little name, Mr. Wolfy, and your daughter loves him."

 "I refuse to treat a swamp dog as though it were a gentleman. Besides, I'm sure she loves Mr. Knight way more, don't you, love? Where's Mr. Hero?" She shouts something that sounds like Miter Nigh before pushing it onto Klaus' face. He cracks a proud smile at her. "There you go." He attacks her with tickles, and Eve bursts with sweet laughter.

 Caroline shakes her head at him, but he notices she's quite clearly biting back on a smile. "You're impossible."

 "I’m quite possible, I assure you," he replies smoothly. "Where are you going?" he asks when she starts tying her hair into a ponytail and taking clothes from her drawers.

 "Running with Marcel."

 "Oh, for goodness' sake," he protests. "Can you believe this, Eve? It's not even seven in the morning and your mother is willingly stepping out of the house to run. I sometimes fear she might be a psychopath."

 She scoffs loudly. "You would know, wouldn't you?" While she walks by him to go into the en suite, she slaps him lightly across the legs. "Stop telling my child that I'm a psycho, psycho."

 "How else am I supposed to explain this insanity? What kind of person runs for pleasure when there is an infinite array of far more gratifying activities to invest your energy into? Just now we were about to -"

 "Not in front of the small child, Klaus!" she chides from the bathroom.

 "She doesn't know what daddy is talking about, do you, love?" Eve giggles while he lifts her up above him, holding her like a flying superhero. "Blissfully clueless."

 Caroline steps back into the room, already in her exercise gear. Klaus lets out an infinitely despondent sigh. He would love nothing more than to get her out of those.

 "It's inappropriate conversation to have in front of the toddler," she remarks, putting on the smartwatch she bought recently to exercise with and measure her sleep patterns or whatever the bloody hell that is. She showed him all of this gizmo’s functionalities, swearing it’s the best thing ever invented by human minds. Klaus thinks it’s adorable, however incomprehensible, that someone with such close ties with the supernatural world would still be so impressed by technology. There’s literally nothing that cannot be sorted through magic. How is a watch that counts steps supposed to awe you once you’ve seen someone brought back from the dead? Caroline’s attachment to her humanity goes way beyond her empathy. "Besides, it was gonna be a quick activity because I'd go meet Marcel anyway,” she adds after a beat.

 "I can make you see stars in five minutes," he leers, a smirk growing on his face.

 Caroline whips her face at him with what is clearly an attempt at outrage but turns into something else when she can't hold her own smile. She can't deny him when his point was proved just the night before. Several times, in fact.

 "Shut up," she retorts simply. "Can you give her breakfast? I left chopped fruits in the fridge. You can wait about an hour after the bottle and give it to her as a little treat - not Fruit Loops."

 "She loves that thing."

 "Of course she does, it's pure sugar. That's exactly why we don't let her have it all the time. She needs to eat real fruits."

 Klaus rolls his eyes, sitting up in bed and putting the baby beside him. "Honestly, sweetheart, your mother sometimes..." 

 Caroline narrows her eyes at him. "You really love to make yourself out to be the cool parent, don't you?"

 "I don't have to make myself out to be anything, love. I am the parent who doesn't deny her the little joys of sugary treats. If that makes me cool, then you’ve only got yourself to blame." 

 "You're the parent who'll spoil her rotten, that’s what. Let's see how you'll feel when she's 16 and her boyfriend is climbing the balcony in her room in the middle of the night because she never learned how to take a no."

 "Oh, I would love for her suitors to climb her window in the middle of the night. It’ll be the last thing they do,” he says, smiling innocently at Eve.

 “You’ll be such a ray of sunshine when she starts dating.”

 “As per usual," he says with a bite of arrogance. "Hold the child so I can get decent, will you?"

 Caroline picks Eve up and keeps her looking firmly the other way while Klaus flashes out of bed and into the bathroom. He hears Caroline teasing her with “Where did daddy go?” and laughing at what he knows is Eve's extremely confused but astonished face. She thinks they're magicians. It's one of her favorite things, to watch as Klaus makes full use of his vampire speed to all but vanish right before her eyes. Modern technology has got nothing on him.

 There's something extremely heartwarming about his daughter's innocence. One day, she'll be old enough to understand why he can do the things he does. When that day comes, Klaus will cease to be a creature of magic and wonder, to become what he truly is: darkness made flesh. 

 He has never been ashamed of what he is, hardly ever had any qualms with filling the villain shoes, quite glad to do it, in fact, but he suddenly finds himself dreading the day when his child will figure out what it means to carry the Mikaelson name. When their family’s history will weigh down on her shoulders as it does on theirs.

 While making people cower in fear at the mere sound of his name has brought him an obscene amount of satisfaction and pride over the centuries, Klaus has to admit he's fascinated by the pure sparkle in his child's eyes. She's the first human being in a millennium who does not see even a fraction of monstrosity in him, no shadow, no taints, no mortal flaws. Not yet, anyway. All she sees is a funny man who makes her laugh and can hold her up with his finger, tells her stories about evil werewolves and keeps her safe and that's enough for her to adore him. Sometimes, he feels unworthy of such love. As though he's a fraud, deceiving his own daughter and taking advantage of her innocence.

 It still astonishes him that he should ever be capable of making something as pure and bright as that little girl. In a thousand years, Klaus Mikaelson has only ever brought misery and pain into this world. Eve is the first genuinely good thing he's ever done. Then, of course, she inherited all of that from her mother, who holds herself open for compassion and kindness even though she is herself in a symbiotic existence with her own beast. Caroline has taken control of her darkness in ways Klaus doesn't think he's ever seen a vampire as young as her do before. She truly is extraordinary, and every day he hopes, from the bottom of his withered heart, that Eve will turn out to be every inch Caroline's daughter more so than his.

 Klaus can still smell last night’s sex all over himself, so he takes a quick shower and puts on a pair of denims and a shirt and vamps back to the room again, just to surprise Eve. She gasps when he materializes next to her, flinching, and then starts laughing like a little maniac, reaching out to him. 

 "Remember," Caroline says as she lets Eve slide over to Klaus' arms. "Bottle, fruits. No Fruit Loops. I'll tell your other child you said hi."

 "A child who enjoys running has clearly learned nothing from me," he grumbles. “Hopefully I’ll do a better job with this one.” 

 “Start by not feeding her Fruit Loops,” Caroline remarks with a grin before she smacks a loud kiss on Eve's cheek and then one on his.

 When she’s gone, Klaus turns to look at his little wolf, watching him with those dark blues of hers as though she's studying her father. Sometimes he wonders if toddlers know more than they let on.

 "Do you want to do magic?"

 "Yes!" she practically screams, her face splitting with a wide, toothy grin.

 "Get ready, then. Are you ready?" She gives him an exaggerated nod. "Keep your eyes open. One, two..." And then he flashes out of the room with her.

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✨ Thanks for reading! :) If you’ve enjoyed this silly thing, please drop me a comment! Your reblogs are also much appreciated to help this reach more people. ✨

[pinkprimrose05]

GX Month Day 7: Ojama Delta Thunder!!

@gxmonth

"That’s right! You know what today is! Today we celebrate The Chazz, the one and only Manjoume Thunder! Give sparky boi a hug!"

...I'm not giving Manjoume a hug. I...*cackles evilly* am gonna make him suffer as much as the actual Duel Links players do, maybe even more. And I'm not the least bit sorry, because hey, he gets something out of it in the end!

Manjoume Jun was not having a good day.

The Ojama Duelist grumbled to himself, kicking a non-existent pebble into the air as he made his way to the Duel Studio. The picturesque environment of Duel Links -too clean, too perfect- never ceased to amaze him and many others, but right now, he was too damn pissed to care about that.

After all, it's hard for one to appreciate the technology behind a game's setting when that same technology had just fucked up their entire collection of cards- And in the middle of a Duel no less!

The door slid open as he walked through, revealing rows upon rows of multicolored tables placed on either side of the massive ground floor that was the Deck Editor section, leaving a clear path to the spiraling staircase of clear blue glass that led to the Card Catalog and several other, more obscure sections. After all, the Deck Editor was the single most popular part of the Duel Studio, if the couple dozen Duelists buzzing around all day long were anything to go by.

Manjoume plopped down on a chair at the first empty table he could find, fishing out the single Deck box in his pocket and dropping it on the yellow, round surface. The twenty cards inside the box spilled out over the table (he had hundreds of those for fuck's sake!), and their owner groaned in frustration as he rifled through his completely reset Deck....Scratch that, it wasn't even his own Starter Deck. Battle Warrior? Flame Manipulator? What the hell?!

Briefly, he considered the benefits of marching up to Isono and demanding an explanation and solution to what happened, but that idea was shot down almost immediately. It's not like the guy would be of actual help; the last time someone asked about a bug in the game Isono had literally told them, quote unquote "Please ensure that no other house utilites are interrupting your connection, such as a microwave oven.", and while Manjoume was no tech expert, even he could tell how much of a half-assed excuse that was.

Stupid Duel Links and its stupid customer service-

"Manjo-kuuuuuuun!!"

Startled out of his thoughts, Manjoume only had enough time to gasp before a familiar blue blur put him in an unexpectedly tight headlock, already rambling at rapidfire speed straight in his ears.

"I'm so glad I could find you today!!" Kylie squealed "Had no idea I'd see you here, but that doesn't matter- do you wanna Duel?? I've been working on a new Deck and combos for days now and I can't wait to show you-" the second-year abruptly paused when she caught sight of the cards spread on the table, letting go of Manjoume in favor of taking a better look at them "Waaiiiit a minute, what's with those cards? They don't look like anything you normally play-"

"-It's Manjoume-san." He sharply interjected in a mix of annoyance and exasperation, shooting a glare at the oblivious blunette standing next to him as he massaged his neck "And yes, those aren't my cards. The game just randomly decided to reset my connection in the middle of a Rank-Up Duel of all things, yeet off all my Decks into nonexistence, and then gave me a shitty Starter in exchange, so now I'm stuck with almost zero gems and no way to recover my progress, which is just fucking splendid considering how close we are to the next KC Cup."

Manjoume sighed "Fuck this. Just, fuck this."

Truthfully, he wasn't as mad about the progress he lost as he was about losing his cards. It hadn't even been thirty minutes and, while he'd never admit it out loud, he already missed his trio of obnoxious Ojamas. They've been through thick and thin together, and it felt unnatural to have them just up and disappear like that. The last time they've been away from him wasn't exactly something he wanted to remember, and while the situation here was nowhere as severe as the Dark World, it still felt wrong for the air around him to be so quiet.

Kylie, who was uncharacteristically quiet as she listened to her 'friend' ranting about his current predicament, nodded along "So you...basically got your account reset?"

"No shit, Sherlock." Manjoume deadpanned in response. Kylie put a hand to her chin, humming thoughtfully with closed eyes, before suddenly slamming a hand on the table and nearly shocking him into falling off his chair.

"I GOT IT!" She exclaimed, snapping her fingers with a bright grin "This reset bug happened once to someone I know- I don't know if you remember Ruby from Heartland Academy, but anyway, she also lost all her progress a couple months ago after she got booted out of a Duel, and it turned out that her cards were just scattered all around the Duel World, so we went around asking everyone we could if they saw them, Dueled those who had some, and we got all her cards back in the end. It must be the same with yours, so let's get going and find them all!!"

Without warning, she grabbed the Legendary Duelists's hand, hauling him up and out of the Deck Editor before he could even get out a word. Manjoume gasped and spluttered along the way, trying to tell his companion to slow down a bit to no avail; as talking someone like Kylie out of anything was like trying to build a Deck around Cold Feet.

That didn't stop him from actually looking around and asking, though. If there was even the slightest chance of him finding his cards this way, then he'd be damned if he didn't at least try and go through with it. Compared to staking it out at the North Pole for a barely synergic mishmash of a Deck, to going down a haunted well in an empty forest for a bunch of 0-ATK monsters that were -figuratively and literally- bottom of the barrel, Dueling a couple chumps and scavenging for some lost cards was nothing, and he was ready to do so much more to get his partners back.

"See? I told you Aniki would come find us in the end!"

...I take back everything I said, Manjoume thought, cringing in disgust as Ojama Green and Black hugged each other and began prancing around him in circles, babbling and crying tears of joy while they were at it How could I ever miss this shitfest?

He just did, somehow. It hadn't taken too long to find the two Ojamas anyway; the sound of them banshee screeching weeping their asses off by the fountain was all he needed to know they were somewhere out there, and by some lucky miracle, their cards didn't get sprayed to oblivion with all the water by the time he came to retrieve them. As for his other cards, he and Kylie had stopped by the Shop, the Card Trader, the PvP Arena, the Gate and the Duel School, asking everyone they could about his cards, and beating the shit out of those who had some and refused to give them back

(Well, Manjoume was the one who did that, and only to Evan and Zachary, but that wasn't the point here, was it?)

By the time they decided to return to the Duel Studio for a small break, they'd gathered practically all of his key cards. He couldn't care less for the bunch of staples he lost -he'd just reroll the Selection Box or whatever-, so the only missing card that actually mattered, as much as it stung his ego to admit it...

...was Ojama Yellow. And after what happened with his brothers (and with Fairy Dragon, which he found resting on top of a very inconveniently high branch of a tree), Manjoume fully expected the third Ojama to be sleeping in the trash can or somewhere equally stupid. Because if he wasn't, he'd have found him before any other card by simply following the sound of high-pitched crying mixed with a lot of screaming and weird Ojama noises-

-A sudden rattling sound interrupted the noiret's thoughts for the second time that day, and when he stopped to locate its source, he let out a long, drawn-out sound between a sigh and a groan. Surely enough, the sound was coming from the trash can by the cliff, which was shaking wildly and practically begging to be opemed. Feeling a migraine coming up, Manjoume turned left, walked up to the can, and with some difficulty, pried the lid off.

"ANIKIIIII!!"

He instantly regretted it (he didn't) when the snot-faced creature that was Ojama Yellow exploded in his face, crying uncontrollably as he tried to hug Manjoume (keyword being 'tried'). His brothers all but sprang up from their cards, meeting him in a hug midair and effectively plucking him off his master for a bit as they all laughed and cried and did everything in between.

"Aww, look at how happy they are!" Kylie gushed, eyes almost sparkling. She lightly smacked Manjoume's back "You sure have a funny bunch of spirits, luckyyyy~"

Swatting away the Ojama trio and a pair of Catnipped Kitties before they tried sneaking up on him for a hug, Manjoume folded his arms and snorted in response "Yeah, sure."

But regardless, he found his lips quirking up in spite of himself. If it were me from three years ago, he mused I wouldn't have bothered with any of this in the first place.

But this wasn't the him from three years ago. This was the him of today, the Manjoume Thunder who'd gone through so much shit and learned from it to become a better Duelist, a better Duelist, and a better person. And while he had many people to thank for that, he also had to give credit for the monster spirits that followed him through all of the aforementioned shit, because as cringy, messy, bombastic and obnoxious as they might be, they were his partners, and he wouldn't give them up for anything in this world-

"WILL YOU FUCKING STOP THAT??!!"

-Unless they tried to hug him again. Pissed beyond reason, Manjoume chased after the quintet of Level 2's, ignoring Kylie's hysteric laughter and the surprised yelps from other Duelists as they dashed around the area in circles, all the noise merging into a cacophony of angry hollering and frightened squeaking, among other sounds.

In the end, some things never change....for better or for worse.

~~~~~~

Screw the actual Duel Links game for not including most of Manjoume's low-ATK monsters in his Starter/Lv 10 Deck (why tf is Catnipped Kitty a main Box card 4 years after his release?), and double screw them for splitting his Ojamas and Dragons into separate Decks.

I hate how his higher level Decks in the game completely disregard the former half of his cards; those are the ones that actually stuck with him in a meaningful way, not the Armed Dragons...they deserve some more recognition, so why not mix both archrtypes and slap in Ojamatch?

Also, yes, Standard Duelists actually exist here, so I decided to throw in my favorite GX girl AKA Kylie and have her interact a bit, and boy is she fun to write.

Headcanon: Kylie considers Manjoume (and everyone else, but especially him) her best friend because she basically has Yuuma's mentality of 'Anyone I Duel becomes an amigo!', and by sheer dumb luck, the two keep logging in at the same time and often get matched up in PvP Duels.

That's part of why she's so familiar with him (and also why she calls him Manjo-kun) and as you can see, Jun does not approve.

Aaaand this would be everything for Day 7! Expect to see me again...in a week from now. By Day 15 to be exact. In the meantime, if you’d like to follow my prompts for the month, I’m posting them all on ArchiveofOurOwn: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33473653/chapters/83489824

[carewyncromwell]

Dating Jackson Knightly Would Include...

requested by @kc-needs-coffee // as evidenced by his relationship with Montelimar Bloom @cursebreakerfarrier​

Seeing a side of Jackie-boy that few others have ever seen. Jackson is ridiculously flashy, confident, arrogant, witty, ambitious, suave, and cool, but he’s actually an incredibly sensitive and romantic person who acts the way he does largely because he wants to be adored. He wants to be sincerely loved for who he is. And so if he actually takes down his walls enough to let you into his heart, you’ll see a vulnerability that you likely had no concept was there before. Jackson’s always been very insecure about his sexuality in particular (sorry ladies, I’m afraid this boy is gay), so it will have taken a LOT for him to acknowledge the depths of the feelings he has for you and to likewise have opened up enough to lay them bare to you. It’s very likely that Jackson was very emotional when you first asked him to go steady with you, torn between beaming from ear to ear in pure joy and wanting to cry out of pure relief. 

Loyalty to the nth degree. If Jacko trusts you enough to show the weaker and less pretty sides of himself, then it means he cherishes you more than anything else in the world. You’d never have to worry about how much he cares for you.

Being called by your full name more than nicknames or titles. Jackson is very prone to calling people things like “my (adjective) friend” or shortened versions of their names (example: his best friend Adelia Selwyn @thatravenpuffwitch​ is “Addy” or “Lia,” sometimes modified as “my dear Lia” and such), so if he calls you by your full name, it’s because he doesn’t want to part with a single syllable of your wonderful, perfect name. 

Getting fawned over. If you’re ever the least bit hurt, Jackson will hover over you and coddle you like a prized china doll. Jackson will also gush to everyone he comes across about how amazing you are and about all of your accomplishments, to the point that everybody tells him to shut up. 

Needing to validate him. Jacko is a SUCKER for praise -- the reason he gushes about you is because he likes how good it feels to be praised, and he wants you to feel that good all the time. 

You being the responsible one. Jackson may be very opinionated and may prima donna his way around your relationship, but you’re likely to be the one who figuratively wears the pants a good chunk of the time. Fortunately he adores and respects you enough that if you put your foot down, he’ll give in to make you happy. 

Gifts! Jackson will spoil you to the best of his abilities, sometimes just because, but ALWAYS for special occasions like anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays. In particular he’ll go out of his way to find out what kind of flowers you like best so he can surprise you with them. He might also send you personalized bouquets based on the Victorian language of flowers, bring you breakfast in bed on your birthday, and compose poetry for you. Please make sure you remember the important days too! Jackson will be really hurt if you forget your anniversary. 

You having to keep him from going too overboard in just about everything. Jackson is a true romantic, so not only will he break the bank to properly express his intense affection for you, but he will employ ridiculously over-the-top methods to show you his feelings, whether by shooting fireworks over the castle that spell your name or sending you a hundred red roses on Valentine’s Day. Jackson is a drama queen to the max, so you’ll likely have to temper him by reminding him now and again that you know how deeply he feels for you and that simple expressions of it work too. 

Oddly enough, having to be subtle in how you express your affection in public! Jackson is still insecure about openly showing his sexuality, hating the thought of people’s opinion of him changing once they know it -- and so for how friggin’ obvious Jacko is in who he feels for and how much he feels, he actually won’t initiate or engage in much PDA in public. Sometimes his emotions will get so intense, though, that he’ll act charming enough around everyone else to sweep you away to an abandoned room and -- once the door is closed -- proceed to ravage you romantically against a wall, kissing you deeply and caressing your chest and face because damn it, this poor Victorian boy just can’t contain how much he longs for you. 

Having to “share” him a bit with his work. As an adult, Jackson becomes a politician and eventually Minister for Magic, so he has to play that part constantly. He’ll do everything he can to protect you from the press and the spotlight, but there will be times he’ll have to be away on business abroad for a decent period or keep certain things from you under wraps regarding his activities, as well as events where he’ll have to use his considerable charm to wine and dine people. Anyone insecure in their relationship with him might end up feeling jealous or unsure seeing such things, but if you know Jackson, you’d hear the difference in how he talks to you versus how he talks to others.

Parties! On the note of events, Jackson LOVES parties, both hosting and attending. His favorite kinds are big Christmas parties with lots of good food, drinking, and dancing. 

Lightly discouraging him from drinking too much. Jackson has had trouble regulating his alcohol intake in the past -- he’s fortunately a happy drunk rather than an angry or sullen drunk, but that also can make it harder to tell that he’s burying himself in his drinking so that he doesn’t have to think of unpleasant things. 

Going to the theater! Jackson is a lover of all of the arts, and he particularly loves seeing plays and ballets with his significant other. Expect covert hand-holding when you two are in your private box. 

Cuddling a lot when you two are alone. As much as Jackson is a social butterfly, he feels most secure expressing his affection to you in the comfort of your own home, free of potential judgment or regulation from outside parties. Jackson is definitely the sort to fall asleep with his head in your lap, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his hair.

[alexandriawilliams]

☌ - Is your muse famous or infamous in their world for a battle or fight? Do they embrace or shy away from it?

Truthkeeper

KC 628

The winding terrain of the Broken Shore was never easily-traversed, let alone in heavy armor, but Alexandria managed as she made her way deeper into the foothold that the Legion had made for itself on the island. It was difficult to say where, exactly, she was -- the jagged landscape's crags or sulfuric, fel-green ash heaps were too similar to make much of a mental picture of the island outside of the occasional vague landmark, but now, the paladin was... utterly lost.

Sort of.

She was certain that she had gone where she had been directed, but the labyrinthine terrain seemed to twist and fade like a mirage; the path that had existed before seemed to not quite be there anymore. Alexandria was sure she must've made a wrong turn until she noticed the sky changing. Like the fade of an illusion, the paladin watched as the dark gray of the Broken Isles' skyline shifted into an otherworldly violet hue, and chaotic streaks of the Twisting Nether's latent magic ran across the void above.

Her grip on her broadsword and the kite shield strapped to her arm tightened. They were well-made and heavily blessed, having served the knight well since the Third War when she was inducted into the Order of the Silver Hand, and they both gleamed in a sort of protest as the stench of fel became unbearable.

As her eyes returned from the endless abyss above, the environment around her had changed yet again. Alien rock sat at her feet, floating freely in the Nether's expanse... a fact which might have caused the knight panic, if she had time to feel it for anything except for the enormous creature before her.

She had seen and fought typical doomguards before. Formidable creatures to be sure, but nothing that an experienced Templar of the Silver Hand would struggle to put down.

This, however, was not a typical doomguard.

As the creature lifted itself up to its full height from its rested position, it towered over Alexandria two... three... four times over. It must have been ten meters tall, with jagged horns the length of the knight's arms and twin blades nearly the length of its own body. The edges hummed a quiet tone as they were drawn up -- Light, the beast was so large that Alexandria could barely see it all at once. Her heart felt as though it had stopped entirely.

Alexandria was certain that this was how she was going to die.

With a flap of its towering wings and not a moment’s hesitation, the doomguard lifted itself into a hover and immediately screamed forth towards the knight that had been drawn out into the Nether. They were both especially vulnerable here; of course, the demon had run a risk by inviting her into its home plane where it would die a final death, but it was also at its peak strength in the Twisting Nether. This was its own domain, and its quarry was trapped and isolated, ready to be easily picked off.

The knight had only a split-second to bring her shield up at the demon’s advance. With a great flash of the holy energy within her and her blessed bulwark and a deafening clang of the dueling metals, Alexandria felt her arm splinter and fracture simply from the blunt force of the strike. With a pain-wracked grunt of effort, she barely kept her stance composed despite the shooting pain that screamed through her shoulder and elbow. As the demon passed by and lifted itself back up into the air, Alexandria turned herself on her heels to face it once more. In a single strike, she could feel the dent that had been made in her shield, not to mention the toll on her endurance.

The greater doomguard lingered only a moment, appraising its opponent with an indifferent sneer before lunging forth again. In another swoop, it passed by as the knight brought herself low, barely avoiding the razor’s edge of the twisted felsteel that made up her assailant’s blades. Her spine shivered as she felt her grip weaken with fear, but resolve only took a moment longer to come over her as she thought of home, of those she cared for, her fellow knights -- the woman she had just come to know and love dearly.

She had survived Lordaeron. She had survived Northrend. She had survived the Shattering, and Pandaria, and the Iron Horde. She could survive this, too.

As she came up onto a knee from her evasive roll to the side, she extended her blade forth and focused the latent holy energy within her with the blessed broadsword as a focus. It rang out as the golden beam struck true, matched with a dissonant harmony in the doomguard’s scream of rage as the web of its left wing burned through. It crashed to the rock below, grounded as it howled in pain.

Alexandria could feel the ground below her tremble as the beast rose up to its feet, filled with an unquenchable lust for blood as it barreled towards her. This bout was to be longer, a truer duel as metal met. Again and again it sang as the demon’s enormous, heavy weaponry met Alexandria’s shield or a well-timed parry, but the knight simply could not manage to advance... and she could feel herself waning. Even with the Light bolstering her, she was no match for the physical prowess of the monster before her, and the gleam in its eyes told her that it knew.

As another swing came for her, she brought her shield up... and broke. Alexandria could hear the earsplitting cry of her shield being shattered and her own scream of agony. She felt her shoulder torn from its socket as her arm shattered in absorption of the blow, and her feet left the ground as she was thrown several feet back. The alien dirt below was kicked up into a cloud as she scraped along the ground. Not even the strap of her shield was left when she looked for it, and her arm was all but destroyed. What little movement she could manage only intensified her suffering, but she had no time to think -- let alone recover.

It was upon her again in moments, lumbering over to her and lifting one of its blades to end her. The knight made another close call as she managed to leap out of the way only to hear the crash of earth behind her. A single precious moment bought by the evasion saw Alexandria’s blade come down and strike with perfection, slicing all the way through the demon’s wrist and severing its hand -- and one of those enormous blades -- from its body. It earned her another scream in rage and a wild swing from its remaining blade as that lime-green felblood poured freely from the open wound.

Alex brought her sword up to parry and made some effort to brace herself, but with her right arm broken there was nothing she could do to truly stop the strike. It tore through her blade with another screech of shattering steel, scattering fragments across the battlefield as that felsteel blade sank deep into her breastplate. It tore through her with little resistance, cracking ribs and sending the paladin to the ground, disarmed and bleeding out. Even with the Light constantly working to restore her body, Alexandria could feel her consciousness waning as every pump of her heart emptied blood onto her ruined tabard.

In that dire moment, her training left her; she was operating purely on the most primal survival instinct that existed within her. She wobbled to her feet as the injured greater demon struggled in similar fashion, losing both blood and focus from its severed, gushing stump of a wrist. That stumbling delirium granted Alexandria a moment to claim its relinquished sword. Despite its weight, the knight managed to heft it up like an oversized zweihander, resting it upon her shoulder; the shattered arm hanging uselessly at her side made it impossible to wield properly.

Alexandria murmured a prayer beneath her breath as the creature advanced to finish her. The fuzzy edges of her vision began to wane to darkness and her view of her opponent became blurred, but to relent meant certain death. As the creature brought its blade back to prepare a strike that no block from a mere human would stop from rending her in twain, Alexandria lurched forth and brought the commandeered felsteel around towards its exposed shin. Another crack of bone split the air as the beast howled, dropping its weapon and slumping to the ground as its second limb was severed from its body. That vile green blood pooled quickly as the beast flailed in tormented death throes, searching for any spiteful strike that it might land to inflict whatever damage it could.

Still, the paladin would take no risks. Even sure she would bleed to death before help arrived, she advanced again once the enormous blade was hefted over her shoulder once more. Bringing it up and over her head with her one working hand, she brought it down towards the prone beast’s neck... but not before those claws sank deep into her abdomen.

Alexandria spat blood in her helm as those spikes shredded organs, but she followed through. The blade fell like a guillotine, and the doomguard’s howling stopped in an instant. The paladin stumbled back and hit the ground, and her eyes went skyward as she felt herself succumb. The magic holding her to the Twisting Nether faded as the demon’s soul faced its final rest. The ground beneath her began to crumble, and she was sure that her very last moments would be spent eternally falling towards nowhere in the void below.

If this was how it ends, she figured, I think that’s okay. The knight’s eyes finally fluttered shut, and she fell to slumber that she was sure would be eternal.

* * * * *

The unfamiliar ceiling of one of Dalaran’s inns greeted Alexandria as her eyes opened, though she immediately regretted having woken up. The pain in her body was immeasurable; she would surely be in bed for weeks.

Consciousness drifted in and out for several days, though by the third time she awoke there was something new in the room. Leaned against the wall was a shield, a crest of holy fire with a note tied to it with a glittering band of string.

To Dame Alexandria Williams Champion of the Silver Hand

The greatest truth of the Light’s doctrine is that with its blessings, anything is possible. Word of your victory has reached us, and we see fit to name you a Champion of the Silver Hand. We have also heard that you are in need of a new shield.

Truthkeeper is rumored to be unbreakable, passed to those knights of a similar reputation. We trust it will serve you well. Congratulations are in order for your promotion - when you are well, return to the Sanctum of Light.

[fauzhee10069]

”King Crimson” and its confusing mechanism (Vento Aureo)

Alternative title: “how it indeed just works”

「King Crimson」 is the Stand of Diavolo, the main villain of Vento Aureo. It has a sub-Stand ability called Epitaph, which was primarily introduced by Vinegar Doppio.

A mandatory introduction, just skip this if you are already very familiar with 「King Crimson」!

Ability

Time Erasure/Time Skip

「King Crimson」's signature ability is to erase a given frame of time; it starts from the instant the ability is activated and can be made to last up to 10 seconds.

During this period of erased time, only Diavolo remains fully conscious and is the only one who can re-adjust his actions.Other people will be unable to experience anything that happens and will continue to act as they would have. After the effect of the ability ends, all people other than Diavolo will retain no memories of anything that happened during the erased period.

After the allotted time frame, people will suddenly find themselves in the situation they were supposed to be in afterwards. For example, when Fugo asked Giorno for a soda, the soda was suddenly in Fugo's hand without Giorno ever actually handing it to him, when Narancia thought that someone had eaten his chocolate, while in truth he had already eaten the chocolate himself. (VA chapter 80)

There is, however, one instance where a person (Bruno) was able to see their double before finding themselves in their future position (which unfortunately has never been brought up again). (VA chapter 80)

According to JOJOVELLER, Diavolo and KC become intangible during time erasure, allowing attacks to pass through them, as the moment that the attack would have hit was erased. However, this also means Diavolo himself is unable to attack while KC's time erasure is active.

As a result, he often relies on the ability to avoid attacks and move into advantageous positions, such as the enemy’s blind spot, then directly attacks the enemy with KC's great destructive power the moment the ability ends.

He may also use said intangibility for a brief period of time in order to cause an attack to pass through him and hit whatever is on his opposite side. However, during his fight against Polnareff, Diavolo is also able to splatter his own blood onto an enemy's projection in anticipation of blinding them.

Forecast via 「Epitaph」

「Epitaph」 serves as a sub-Stand that assists and completes KC's time erasure. Epitaph gives Diavolo/Doppio the ability to forecast what will happen into the future up to ten seconds, using Doppio’s bangs or Diavolo’s long flowing hair as a projector.

Diavolo and Doppio often use the forecasting ability of Epitaph to predict any incoming threat, making sneak attacks ineffective against them.

However, the visions are incomplete and only show the final result without the events leading up to it (hence the 10s limit), and thus can be subject to interpretation. In one instance, Doppio could see himself on the ground with a severed human foot flying by; he initially thought that the foot was his own, but was mistaken. (VA chapter 106)

While the predictions seen by Epitaph are unavoidable, they still effectively warn Diavolo and Doppio against incoming danger, allowing them to steer events to lessen the potential damage, such as when Doppio realized a pair of scissors would form inside his throat, he easily tore them out in order to save himself. KC itself can prevent the predictions from being completed if it erases the frame of time when the prediction would have come true.

How does it mean that Diavolo can’t interact during “time erasure”?

Through Diavolo’s POV, he had shown how the "time erasure" process happened during his fight with Bruno, we can say that this is what is called “during time erasure”:

Diavolo used his "time skip" to dodge 「Sticky Fingers」's punch, but isn't this called "interaction"? That Diavolo is able to move inside his "time skip"?

I thought what it meant by "he is unable to interact" is that he cannot move or do anything at all, then what is the true meaning of "unable to interact"?

Based on the description from the JOJOVELLER, I think what it means by "unable to interact" is that Diavolo can't use KC to (physically) attack. Like in his fight with Bruno, why didn't he attack him and just dodge “during time erasure”? Why didn't he punch Risotto "during time erasure" and just dodge 「Aerosmith」's shots?

Therefore I concluded that KC cannot do two tasks at once: “time erasure” and “physical attack”, because both can only be done at separate times. His “prediction using Epitaph” and “time erasure” are also carried out by him sequentially, not simultaneously.

But what about the event when Trish's hand was cut off after the "time skip"? Or when the fortune teller's hand got cut off? Didn’t both events happen "during time erasure"?

To be honest, I also think that those events contradict what JOJOVELLER has explained, but only by assuming that their hands were chopped off by KC. However, what if Diavolo actually didn't cut their hands using KC? Yet using another unknown method? But we never saw him carry any weapons other than his Stand.

I think this mystery is quite impossible to answer, other than simply admitting that Araki did a retcon (the case of inconsistency). Still, by rereading chapter 102 (the fortune teller scene): right after the fortune teller realized that his hand was cut off (after the "time skip"), KC obliterated the fortune teller physically.

VA chapter 102: The Island of Sardegna – Storm Warning!

Your mileage may vary, but I have a feeling that Diavolo had not used KC to cut off the fortune teller's hand, otherwise why would he strike him twice with KC (during and after the time skip)?

You may say that he chopped off the fortune teller’s hand as a distraction, but why would he need “distraction” if he was able to kill him using KC “during the time skip"? After all he was carrying a briefcase back then, in which it was quite possible to keep a weapon there.

The same thing might have happened to Trish, we didn't see Diavolo carrying any weapon at the time, but given the fairly large arena (in the tower of San Giorgio Maggiore), he could have thrown it away “during time erasure".

But what about Narancia’s death? As he was impaled by the fence “during the time skip”, it can be said that he died by “getting impaled by the fence”, not because of a physical attack from KC, even though KC (Diavolo) himself is the one who put him there.

Therefore, KC can’t directly attack its target (with its own body) but it is able to move and do anything else inside “time erasure”.

Even so, I also partially think that Araki did retcon KC's ability and limitation so that whatever excuse my explanation about this will always be contradicting to each other. Therefore, I am not saying this as fact, but only as theory, it's up to you if you agree to this or not.

Does 「King Crimson」 really “erase the time”?

VA chapter 80: The Mistery of King Crimson – part 2

In Japanese, KC (Diavolo) did say 「時間を消し去て」”jikan o keshisate” which really means “erase the time” and then “I make sure that I will have everyone who jeopardizes my everlasting climax/peak to be vanished” 「消え去てもらう」or something like that.

Therefore, he really said that he erased the time and jumped over it/leapt past it, but by taking into account the scene and the atmosphere at that time, I thought that he was dramatizing his choice of words, so that "erasing" might not actually be erasing in literal sense, but still… the time (feels) skips due to KC’s ability.

Also, I was googling for any forums that discuss this issue and I found a very interesting one:

King Crimson (JJBA) does NOT erase time!

According to “Beatrice The Endless Witch��:

Diavolo causes fate to follow through unhindered for a period of time while he himself slips out of the physical world. Basically, everyone moves as they had planned to, unconsciously, while he himself phases through everything. Araki shows King Crimson dodging punches and Diavolo constantly refers to "erasing time" and stuff like that...that's all nonsense. I don't know if Araki himself wasn't sure what KC did so he constantly retconned it into ways that still made some sense, or maybe he didn't care about explaining it and he or his editors were like, "we'll just show some neat visual stuff and have Diavolo say one-liner to get the point across." It's possible, right?

I'm not Araki, so I don't know what his thought process was...but I'm guessing it was this:

“I want a Stand that can skip time forward - just like how CDs skip if they're scratched."

"But that wouldn't be beneficial to the user...so maybe the user is invulnerable to the time skip."

"But wait...if he's conscious during the skipped events, other people must be unconscious. Otherwise it doesn't work."

"But wait again! Can Diavolo just fucking wreck people during these events? Well...I guess he's just ethereal. He can't affect things." (which came the “unable to interact during time erasure”)

"...Well that's a great way of confusing people, but how does he fight with it, he just follows people? That's dumb. I guess he can see where they'll end up when the time skip finishes, so he can be prepared." (Epitaph)

"I guess that means other people can't phase like he does, because it'd contradict his predictions. This is good, he can use this to make people shoot each other or run into traps and stuff."

And that's how we got 「King Crimson」 and 「Epitaph」. It also fits well with his character (someone whose ability is easily felt by the entire world would be quite paranoid and need ways to avoid relying on its usage) and also does something that Araki likes in explaining real-world phenomena (short term amnesia, people spacing out).

Some people argue that KC erases the cause and keeps the effect except that doesn't make sense. Cause and effect are not two separate entities, but instead two ways of describing the same event from a different perspective according to the flow of time. You can't just pick and choose what you like to call cause and then label everything else as an effect. If you run down an alley and shoot a person during KC's time skip, you're telling me that you will end up down the alley but the person won't be shot, but there's literally no difference between the movement of your person across the ground and the movement of pieces of your skull as it gets shattered by a bullet. The CAUSE of moving your ass down the alley wasn't erased? Why not? Cause you don't want it to be?

I think s/he meant that “if you shoot a person” inside “(during) time erasure”, which the action is referred "cause", then “after time erasure”, the “effect” which should be “the person got hits by bullet” should not have happened, because the "cause" was already removed by KC so the "effect" shouldn't have existed in the first place.

I'd like to remind you that if Diavolo could attack people in time skips he would've done so against Buccellati, Polnareff or Giorno, but he didn't.

Hence my theory that KC can't attack physically with its body “inside/during time skip”.

People also argue that Diavolo hitting Polnareff in the eye with his blood makes no sense if time was skipped, but it does. Why wouldn't it stay there? It's no longer part of Diavolo, so it gains collision. And Diavolo doesn't erase time, so the blood is still there when the ability deactivates. Same with Josuke (part 4) when he used his blood as an attack, when it leaves his body, it's no longer part of him.

However, the reaction by “TehChron” suggested him/her to basically suspend his/her disbelief:

That's because you're misunderstanding how Araki presents time in JJBA. He presents it as a true 4th dimension, which has its own rules and effects, which he admittedly bullshits at times, but “Time” and “Gravity” are the highest natural forces he presents in the series. In effect, he treats them as constants across the mutiverse that exist as fundamental physical laws.

「Made In Heaven」 doesn't merely reset the Earth by infinitely increasing the flow of time from a single point at in Florida. Because what they are doing is manipulating time itself as a force of nature, rather than a concept.

Araki states that King Crimson erases time, and therefore is given the difficulty of expressing that in tangible effects, which is where we get "erasure of cause and keeping of effect", which is a nice way of summing up the ability in a way that we can observe in the series proper.

You say that cause and effect are interchangeable based on the flow of time, but that is incorrect “based on how Araki treats time”. I've explained it elsewhere when describing "relative time", but when a character gains the ability to manipulate time, they move under a different set of laws, much like swimming or flying.

Therefore, what KC would be erasing in cases where he phases through bullets are the "cause" of a bullet connecting with Diavolo, and as a result the "effect" of the bullet doing damage to Diavolo would be changed to an "effect" of "the bullet continuing along its course harmlessly". It erases a "cause" and as a result produces an entirely different "effect" based on that event.

As such, in instances where it appears that Diavolo teleports, he could use KC to erase the "time" experienced by his opponent. The "cause" of recognizing Diavolo's actions eliminates the "effect" of an opponent being able to react to him.

Rather than erasing time as if someone were scooping water out of a river, KC, and even most time-related Stands treat “time” as if it were a physical thing to be interacted with.

If 「The World」 and 「Star Platinum」 affect time by holding it still, then KC affects time by removing unwanted chunks from it. 「Bites the Dust」 uses specific stimulus to roll time back, as does 「Mandom」, to a lesser degree. MIH treats it like physical loop of some kind, and simply speeds it up until it loops back to the beginning or another desired part that had already been passed up. With alterations, if desired, naturally.

In the end, both agreed with this explanation. As for me, I think "time erasure" is more like "cause erasure" or even "causality manipulation", although only limited in removing a certain factor inside the "cause" (based on above explanation).

Does 「King Crimson」 have “universal range”?

I was also googling for a forum that discuss this issue as well and I found one:

Does King Crimson really have a universal range?

According to “Power That Preserves”:

Actually this is also a big question for me regarding KC’s range. And admittedly, I also agree with him/her.  Logically, it should be really weird if we (the people) experience "time skip" several times around the world. At this point, it should have become a big "phenomenon”, not just a simple memory loss that happens to several people (who are aware of it) in one place.

The example brought by “noobthemusical” also makes sense, during Bruno vs King Crimson arc in Venezia, the rest of the gang who were outside at that time, not all of them realized that the "time skip" happened.

It is possible that not everyone realizes that time has just been skipped, especially for those who are daydreaming or who tend to ignore the events around them.

Others opposed him/her by referring to Araki's interview. Let's see what the interview actually was:

At the beginning of the interview, they did say about "time-based" abilities in general. However, when Shibasaki asked about the "range", she specifically asked about the "affected range" of the time stop, in other words: the range of this particular Stand named 「The World」! Hence Araki's answer which said that it is "all the way out into space", it is an answer regarding the "range" of the ability to stop time, (it should be) not the ability to manipulate time in general.

“Power That Preserves” has also understood this, s/he even admitted that a “localized time-stop” won't make sense, but for him/her, not for the “time-skip”.

You really think the writer will think of this and go out of his way to show us? The feat is there and the range is given, trying to break your head over it will not end well especially if the writer doesn’t care to show us the consequences of such an ability being used. – said “Tranquil Fury”

I think so too, s/he basically said again to “just suspend your disbelief, that’s a fiction for ya!” I also feel that Araki probably didn't think too deeply into this, let alone use the "real life logic". I think his main priority was that the main villain had invincible ability that makes it difficult for the protagonist.

They have tried to use their logic and that's not really wrong. But for me, they are the type of readers who prioritize the mindset "suspend your disbelief because it's fiction" or generalize the above interview by thinking that "the interview is about JoJo villains’ time manipulations, therefore the questions and answers from there are surely related to that".

What I regret about them is their lack of careful reading, in which Shibasaki’s question was obviously: “What is the maximum affected range when time is stopped?”

And of course Araki’s answer was about the range of 「The World」, which is universal.

They are very much the opposite of "Power That Preserves" who was being hard to suspend his/her disbelief and fixating on the "real life logic" of understanding fiction.

But the more interesting thing here is actually about 「Made in Heaven」, where “Schneider” and “zenieth” have said that the range of it is "universal", which is of course true, because in Made in Heaven arc, the effect of MIH’s time acceleration around the world had been shown to us. (SO chapter 150)

Localized time-stop doesn’t make sense (and impossible), so does “time acceleration” because time is universal, therefore logically as well, this also (should) apply to the "time skip".

Some have explained that KC’s time skip around the world to most people feels like a momentary "memory loss". But is there nothing dangerous about it (apart from those who are confronting Diavolo)?

「Made in Heaven」 has been shown to be an extremely dangerous Stand, given the impact it has had around the world:

SO chapter 150: Made in Heaven – part 2

One of the fatal consequences caused by MIH was this traffic accident, in which all vehicles were traveling very fast beyond the control of the drivers.

KC’s "time skip" that happened in VA often made people who realized it become shocked (the scene when Trish's hand was chopped for example), but at other times when the atmosphere is relaxed, those who experienced it just think of it as a momentary "memory loss".

But then, what will happen if the "time skip" occurs on a traffic? For example, when we are about to cross, a "time skip" occurs, will we be hit or hit something because we lost focus and didn’t prepare for a moment?

Then what about some jobs that require time observation (e.g. some researches or manufactures), in which it’s highly possible to notice that a "time skip" has occurred? Not to mention there are a lot of such jobs which require observation. "Power That Preserves" is not wrong when s/he brought up the lack of attention to "the law of common sense".

And I agree that we can't necessarily apply all of the laws of physics. That's why I think there can be localized timeskips without the affected area becoming seperated from the rest of the Earth, but King Crimson's power affecting the entire world and going unnoticed by the public isn't a matter of violating the law of physics, it's violating the laws of “common sense”. – said "Power That Preserves"

This is something that was very unfortunate in the forum, "Power That Preserves" was not entirely right (where s/he had difficulty understanding "fictional logic" yet proposed the “localized time-skip”), but s/he also had an opinion that deserves to be taken more seriously than simply "suspend your disbelief", "the author said so in his interview”, “there is fictional canon fact that you have to accept" and “don’t you dare to question the author!”.

This is the point where discussion can't really develop well, in the end, "Power That Preserves" did not get a satisfactory answer, instead s/he was bullied for his/her critical thinking. His/her critical opinion was underappreciated because of the mindset of those responders who were too accepting of everything that was "canon", even though the canon itself is “illogical”.

Unfortunately, there are many readers who have this kind of mindset.

We may not get the "right answer”, but had they been a little wiser, at least it might be possible to reach a conclusion that would satisfy both parties. I would like to join them to neutralize the atmosphere in the forum at that time, if only I had found this forum ten years earlier.

Coincidentally, I recently came across a fanfiction from AO3 that might unintentionally acknowledge the criticism from "Power That Preserves" ten years ago. Particularly, in this part:

TowerDogs’s Golden Redemption, chapter 24

“Memory manipulation”, really? But didn't Diavolo (Araki) clearly say that 「King Crimson」's ability was "time skip"? Do you seriously believe in fanfiction more than “The Word of God” (canon)?

Of course I'm not saying that KC's true ability is "memory manipulation", but considering some confusion and contradiction that indeed exist in the manga (Vento Aureo) itself in portraying KC and its time skip, this fanfic is more to explain about how to understand the mechanism of KC in its own language.

The fanfic also uses the same logic as "Power That Preserves" in that the so-called ‘time skip’ has a limited range.

Using the term "memory manipulation" is not too far-fetched in itself if we consider these scenes:

VA chapter 80 and 101

In which both Fugo and the hotel employee only thought that they forgot a moment and brushed it aside, but what if it happens when we are doing something like "observation", in which we were observing something moving like this:

Without blinking, we clearly see that the blood drip suddenly adds up against their supposed sequence (no longer drop by drop).

If so, doesn’t the excuse that it is a "memory loss" (as in the chapter 80 and 101) become invalid? Yes but actually no, because I think what “TowerDogs” means might be that Diavolo's "memory erasure" works by erasing everyone's memory in 10 seconds without leaving any details behind. People who lose their memory don't just forget about a single thing (for example: what they were doing at the time), but the whole memory for that 10 seconds (including what happened at that time and what they were doing at that time).

Then as I said before, the people who have the jobs that require high focus and observation are not just a few in around the world.

Hence, “Power That Preserves"’s logic which said that “when it happens to everyone in the world every time Diavolo uses his powers, this should be big news pretty fast” becomes something that should not just be brushed aside because canon.

And I also believe that the fanfic is aware of such problem as well (hence the “limited radius” which has been written there).

「King Crimson」in my own word

Although both interpretations from “TowerDogs” and “Power That Preserves" are controversial and might contradict the canon portrayal, thanks to them (and the explanation from “TehChron”) that I can get a better understanding of 「King Crimson」's true ability.

In order to be more accurate, I will leave aside the terms that often used by the manga canon: "time erasure" & “time skip”. These terms are what often misled the readers, if I have to interpret the meaning of “time erasure” alone, of course I would interpret it as "erasing the time elapsed for 10 seconds along with all the events (which contain causes & effects) that occurred during that time without a single trace", example:

Mista runs down an alley and shoots Diavolo “during KC's time erasure”, the outcome of KC's time erasure would be that Mista never ran into the alley and shot Diavolo in the first place as the events (which contain causes & effects) got erased along with the time (10 seconds).

To be honest, the above interpretation is more suitable for 「Gold Experience Requiem」.

What about “time skip”? The example of “skipping time for 10 seconds regardless of events (which contain causes & effects) that are happening during that time” will be like:

Mista runs down an alley and shoots Diavolo “during KC's time skip”, the outcome of KC's time skip would be that Mista already arrived at the end of the alley with Diavolo who got shot without seeing the process where Mista ran and shot in the previous 10 seconds as the events (which contain causes & effects) still happened and only the process got skipped.

But canonically, KC doesn't work that way, the result of KC’s time erasure based on the example above will be that Mista shot did not hit Diavolo and instead hit someone else (who should have been blocked by Diavolo prior to the manipulation).

In the end, I conclude that from several events that occur for 10 seconds “during KC's time skip”, Diavolo manipulates one of them (which is called "a cause") by removing several factors inside it, so that when the time skip ends (10 seconds later), the “resulting effect” of the "cause" which has been manipulated becomes "different" as desired by Diavolo.

During Diavolo’s manipulation, only he has the “consciousness”, as the people other than him will only feel the altered "effect" based on his manipulated "cause".

Still, Out of respect for Araki, let us just call this ability as a "time skip / erasure", it’s the easiest term to describe  「King Crimson」 ‘s ability.

「King Crimson」’s callback in “Hunter x Hunter”

Major spoilers of HxH!

“Hunter x Hunter” also made a callback of 「King Crimson」 through a character named Tserriednich. The Kakin Prince has developed Nen ability that has a similar mechanism to KC.

HxH chapter 387: Replay

“Similar but not the same” is the right word to describe it, Tserriednich also mentioned "parallel world" which for me could be a callback for 「D4C」 as well.

Unlike KC, in which time is noticeably skipped so that people affected are either shocked by the sudden event or experience a momentary “memory loss”, Tserriednich’s Parallel Future doesn’t skip the time at all, instead he just alters an event (a “cause”) through his personal “parallel world”. Initially, the affected people are not aware of the change and experience the original "effect" of the unaltered "cause", only then he surprises the people with the new “effect” of his altered "cause."

What KC and “Parallel Future” have in common is that both use forecasts for 10 seconds ahead of reality (Epitaph’s mechanism), it's just that Tserriednich’s forecast happened during the reality, but the future 10 seconds forcasted by Tserriednich are compressed. Tserriednich can also sense forecast and reality simultaneously (as if he is inside two parallel worlds that are being merged).

Amusingly, Tserriednich also made a reference to the initial mechanism of KC where Diavolo cannot interact during the “time skip”:

If you want to know about “Parallel Future” more, you can read chapter 387 of HxH, starting from page 3 to page 17.

JoJo Villains’ Stands’ Ability Breakdown (Conclusion)

And eventually, I got inspired to make this:

Thank you for reading up to here.

[lynyrdwrites]

clichefangirldreamer replied to your post

“Klaroline with some classic Brotp!Carenzo”

@lynyrdwrites I’m sorry! So I’m thinking...My Queen and her fool

Thanks for responding.  So, right now I’m playing around with a KC role reversal, and in that AU Bonnie/Enzo are Caroline’s version of Klaus’ siblings (only their relationship is, obviously, significantly better).  This would be the perfect title for the shoot off of that story that is from Enzo’s POV.

They’re not siblings, or even related, but Enzo and Caroline have been friends since they were children.  Bonnie is the third point of their little triad, the witch who created vampires in her quest to protect them from the wolves

Once upon a time, Enzo was in love with Caroline.  Or at least he thought he was.  With the capital L and everything.  But over the years, she grew harder, and he realized that when it came to romance, she only used people.  Far better to forever just be her best friend, but to actually matter, than to be just another pawn she manipulated

When Caroline first meets Klaus, Enzo thinks he’s just another pawn.  But... Caroline seems to actually be learning about this one.  Speaking to him.  She’s never cared about her lovers outside of the bedroom and what they might do for her, not since she dreamed of a fairy tale life as a girl.  And for the first time in a millennia... Enzo thinks he might see hints of that girl again.

He pushes them together as much as he can after that, with Bonnie’s help.  Because Bonnie isn’t quite as sold on this being some grand love story as he is... but she loves Enzo, and she loves Caroline, so she’ll tag along.

There is some angst, because Enzo has moved on from that love... but he would be lying, if he claimed there wasn’t some jealousy.  That Klaus is so clearly doing what he failed to do (Bonnie and Kol help him get over that, though).

Send me a fic title, and I’ll give you 5 head canons from the fic I won’t write

[honestgrins]

kc + regency!!!

Most Unbecoming || Klaroline

What was supposed to be an innocent ride through the woods becomes a promise for what might be.

.

Caroline knew the rules of courtship. Her mother drilled the importance of a virtuous reputation for any young lady, especially one with lofty ambition in marriage. Since her father moved them to London for his studies, those ambitions only increased - as did the rigors of ton’s expectations for her behavior. The upturned noses and sneering looks only worsened when she spoke, revealing herself to be an American upstart looking to wed a landed gentleman. Determined not to allow them an inch of gossip in the society pages, she religiously obeyed the rules in all ways.

Well, most ways.

“Klaus,” she sighed, her chin tilting up to grant his lips further access to the curve of her neck, “we should be heading back.”

He smirked against the hollow of her throat, the warmth of him a tortuous distraction. “But we’re having such a lovely time, aren’t we?” To accentuate his point, he traced his way up to her ear with the barest brush of his tongue.

The man was temptation personified, Caroline would swear, her fingers betraying her with a scrape through his hair. “My mother might have already realized Rebekah returned early, and she won’t appreciate that we’ve been left alone so long.” Still, she only pulled him closer, smiling at the bite of tree bark at her back. She wouldn’t wish illness on anyone, of course, but they’d barely begun their ride when his sister had excused herself with a violent cough; the opportunity for a private moment or two had been too much to resist. “The passion of youth can so easily overcome our better judgement, you know.”

Smiling into her mouth, Klaus kissed her with light, teasing pecks. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Miss Forbes. I’ve been the picture a perfect gentleman since we met.”

With a scoff, she pinched his side where her hand had slipped beneath his jacket. “The picture of one, maybe. A gentleman, though, would never compromise a lady with untoward affections.”

“I believe you are the one compromising, love,” he murmured, voice soft against her lips. “I’m just the lucky bastard here to enjoy it.”

Coarse words, perhaps, but the adoration clear in his eyes made her melt anyway. Too many times, a suitor had tried to lead her down a shadowed path in the garden for nothing more than a scandalous moment and a story to tell his friends. She’d learned quickly that true prospects were best held at arm’s length until they could be snared for good; even then, Klaus had been the first to test her resolve, and without conscious effort on his part. Okay, some effort, she could admit with his feet tangled among her skirts and a hand warming her waist. But it was the way he’d charmed her mother, introduced his sister in the hopes of a burgeoning friendship, sent drawings of places she’d longed to see along with the most beautiful flower arrangements - he seemed so earnest in pursuing her. He listened and paid attention, a rarity amid the height of the season. And he seemed only to care for her, as she’d heard a number of ladies complaining that he would not dance unless her own card was wanting.

It was at one such ball that she first snuck away with him, her own footsteps leading the way to a darkened corner just out of sight.

And now she was leaning against a tree, lamenting the thick riding clothes they both wore and blushing at the nerve of herself. “Lucky, indeed, that my mother hasn’t come searching for us with one of your brother’s shotguns. Given his lengthy dinner sermon on defending virtue, I assume he’d happily load it for her,” she said, smiling at the dimple that appeared in Klaus’s grin.

“We rode quite far, the horses needed a break,” he explained easily. But he did step back, thumbing over her lips when she pouted. “You are right, however. Finn would absolutely aid your mother in shooting me should I dare to sully the Mikaelson name.”

Her brow furrowed in concern, Caroline reached for his hand and squeezed. While she knew he loved his siblings something fierce, there seemed to be a terrible strain between Klaus and his parents that bled into his relationship with the eldest brother. Unsure how to comfort him in the sudden dourness of the statement, she attempted a joke instead. “I should think Kol takes special pride in attracting scandal to the Mikaelson name. He’s mentioned submitting a number of false stories to the papers, keeps a book of clippings from those that make it to print.”

Klaus gave a dry laugh, looping her hand through the crook of his elbow as they make their way to where the horses rested. “Rebekah has yet to forgive him for the one implying she overstates her prowess with languages,” he played along. “Now, she insists on having one conversation in French at every gathering.”

“I’ve noticed,” Caroline frowned. “And here I thought she was merely trying to exclude me.”

Pulling her to a stop, he regarded her seriously with a frown of his own. “Has she been rude to you? She’s never been the kindest to her peers, but I had hoped-”

He seemed so troubled, once again she felt the need to comfort him. “Rebekah can be a bit…acerbic, but I can tell she tries to be mindful with me - certainly more so with me than with Katherine.” Married to yet another Mikaelson brother, Elijah, Katherine Pierce made a name for herself among society as an actress. It was a terrible scandal when they eloped, a story the lady herself gleefully shared over an introductory tea. They seemed a happy couple, though, and she’d never been anything but welcoming to Caroline. Rebekah apparently refused to offer the same to her sister-in-law. “That’s why I thought it odd she’d abruptly change the terms of a conversation I could no longer participate in.”

“Pure vanity,” Klaus assured her with a kiss to the back of her hand. “For what it’s worth, Rebekah does like you, in her own way. She had been the one to suggest this afternoon’s ride, in order to enjoy your company without our brother’s stately attendance.”

Touched at the attempted effort, Caroline leaned up to peck his cheek. “Then we shall have to do this again, when she’s feeling better. If my mother lets me out of her sight after this, that is,” she pointed out with a meaningful nod toward her mare. “Help me up?”

Grinning wickedly, Klaus boosted her into the saddle, his hand intimately lingering above her backside until she settled and swatted him away. He laughed as he swung onto his own horse, following her lead back to the manor. “If she hasn’t recovered by the time you return to the city, you’ll simply have to visit again.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the easy invitation. “I’d hate to overstay my welcome in your brother’s home,” she answered carefully. “And another visit might…send a message.”

“What message might that be?” He looked at her, goading. For all that they’ve acted on their attraction and growing affections, they still danced around the heart of the matter.

Scowling in frustration, she urged her horse a bit faster. “At the very least, that I’m playing favorites with prospective suitors,” she replied, pointedly ignoring the clench of his jaw. She did have other young men in consideration, a fact that had never amused him. It was the truth of it, however, and she wouldn’t shy from the topic anymore. “Others will assume a betrothal is forthcoming.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have a meeting with your father when he arrives tomorrow.”

For all that she’d wanted an honest discussion of their future, she hadn’t expected Klaus to be so blunt - or proactive. She pulled back on the reins to a stop, staring at him openly. “What?”

His lips quirked up at her obvious surprise. “My brother has the details of our estate and my income from it. Elijah will be coming in as well to discuss our firm, should your father wish it. With luck, he’ll accept my offer without much consternation, and we can be wed before the year ends.”

She blinked, shock leaving her helpless to latch onto a singular train of thought. “I- You- We-” With a deep breath, she appreciated that he allowed her time to gather her wits. “You really want to marry me?”

It was his turn to be shocked. Eyes wide, he led his horse close enough to take her hand. “I wanted you from the moment you snapped at me for stealing your glove.”

Blushing, Caroline stared down at their joined hands. He’d been a relative stranger that day they first met, when she’d dropped her spare glove in the street and he merely tried to return it to her. As handsome as he had been - and still was - she wasn’t pleased at the rakish glance he trailed over her. But he hadn’t pilfered her property to trick her into conversation, and her harsh reaction had left her mortified upon their proper introduction at a ball not long afterward. “Wanting me isn’t the same as wanting to marry me,” she said, her voice soft.

“It is if I want to keep you,” Klaus answered, expression just as tender. “I used to think Finn and Elijah mad for marrying, for tying themselves to another, forever. But then I met you, and I can’t bear the thought of a day when you wouldn’t search out my eyes from across a crowded hall. If we marry, we can have a ride through the woods every day.” His eyebrow lifted in challenge, though his smile was nothing but genuine in its joy. “I want you, Caroline. I want you as my wife, if you’ll have me.”

Heart beating like mad in her chest, she could only nod before leaning over to kiss him. “Yes,” she whispered against his lips. When he tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled back with a mischievous grin. “On one condition.”

Klaus smirked. “What might that be?”

“That my mother doesn’t discover our most unbecoming behavior and refuse the match on principle.” She winked and spurred her horse into a fast gallop, leaving Klaus to race behind - oh, but she could get used to having him follow her, wherever she might lead.

[what-the--curtains]

Braving the Elements

Chapter 13: To Russia with Love

TW: Swearing

Song(s)

Keep it Comin Love - KC & The Sunshine Band (song playing on radio when they drive to hotel)

Cold as Ice - Foreigner (Just for the overall chapter, its cold i had too!)

Authors note: I know its from russia with love but I liked this one better!

You're sitting in the living room filing your nails and minding your own business when you’re called into the meeting room.

“Alright everyone suit up, we’ve got the locates on his houses! Luckily, it looks like Roman hasn’t flown anyone into any of the countries recently so we can assume that they’re empty. That being said, once you arrive at your destinations you’re still expected to stake them out for the first two days, if there’s no activity on the second day you can place cameras around the location and hook them up to the systems we’ve provided you with. If nothing happens, if no activity is detected, then you’ll get the go ahead to move into the house and get those files. If at any point you suspect someone is watching you, or that you’ve been made, inform SHIELD and get out as soon as possible. Everyone got it?” Tony pauses to see if anyone has questions.

“Good! We’ve split everyone into teams. Myself and Peter will be going to Hawaii, Sam, you and Clint will be heading to Italy. Wanda and Vision you’ll go to Sweden, leaving the rest of you to Russia.”

“Why so many in Russia?” Sam asks.

“Frankly, it’s more likely he has eyes there, so safety in numbers.”

“How did you pick where people are going, I mean really Tony why do you get to go to an island paradise?” you complain. You were not the type of person who enjoyed frigid temps.

“Well, because I’m in charge so I get to decide.” He says smugly before leaving.

“Well it was really great working with you all, but I have to quit because I refuse to freeze to death in the Siberian wilderness!” you say throwing your hands in the air and slowly sliding down your chair

“Oh c’mon it won’t be that bad!” Sam say laughing

“Says the boy who gets to go to ITALY.” You say emphasizing every syllable of the last word.

“Who’s the drama queen now!” he retorts, causing you to sit back up in your chair and stop complaining. After wallowing In self-pity for a few more minutes you get up and go pack before getting in one of the team's jets with Nat, Steve and Bucky.

Day 1

The jet lands deep in the Russian wilderness in the early hours of the morning. You’re met by a group of agents who hand over keys to a truck which you all pile into.

“Jesus fuck its cold here. Who has a holiday home in Russia anyways?” you ask, leaning forward to turn up the heat from the back seat.

“It's actually pretty beautiful here in the summer, but you're right it is way too cold right now!” Nat responds, rubbing her hands on her thighs to warm them up.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad, I don’t hear Bucky complaining” Steve chimes in,

“Ya, easy for you to say! You two have super serum making you hot!” You retort.

“Aw you hear that Buck, she thinks we're hot” Steve says, pretending to be flattered.

“Oh shut up Steve I’ve seen your bare ass.” You respond, causing Bucky to snort and Nat to shoot you daggers.

“ Can’t you control the elements make some fire or whatever” he says

“Firstly, that’s not how it works and secondly, engulfing my body in flames isn’t exactly a solution if you ask me.” Although you had contemplated it briefly.

You pull into a small hotel on the outskirts of town at around noon.

“Alright, stakeout rotation, Y/N and Nat you're up first, we’ll get everyone checked in while you’re out.” You and Nat drive the truck out to Romans house, parking it in the driveway of the neighbouring cabin. The two of you move to the back seat and pull out your binoculars zooming in on Romans place. It was a large wood cabin approximately three stories with glass windows facing south. The upper stories have balconies gazing out onto the lake and overlooking the front porch. It was one of many luxurious cabins along the private lake.

“You want me to light the car on fire?” you ask Nat after a few minutes and she seems to contemplate it for a second before muttering a No.

“So how was that night with Steve? We never really talked about it.” you ask

“He hasn’t really spoken to me about it either, I think he’s embarrassed, or awkward or both.” She says looking slightly hurt.

“I mean me and Bucky did kind of see his dick that night maybe that’s why he’s being so weird?” you offer.

“You guys saw it?” She exclaims.

“We didn’t mean too but you guys were half naked in the kitchen it just kinda happened!” you respond defensively.

“Ugh, remind me to never go clubbing with you again it leads to terrible choices!” she says burying her head in her hands.

“He was that bad hey?” you laugh

“Shut up, that’s not what I meant,” she says hitting your arm.

“I know I know, I mean he’s from the past so he’s probably just no use to the concept of sleeping with someone before marriage. So he was good then?” you ask, pressing her for details

“Oh ya he got the hang of what I wanted very quickly, and you’ve seen his dick..” she trails off before continuing. “What about you and Barnes can’t say I was convinced when you told me you hadn’t just fucked in the living room.”

“Nothing.” You say she gives you a side eye “Really! Some kids threw a glass bottle at him, well at me, he just got in the way. So I was cleaning him up.”

“Whatever you say.” She smirks. You let Nat take a nap for the rest of the watch knowing she had a long night ahead of her.

Steve relieves you around 1am and you return to the hotel shivering unable to feel your face. The only thing on your mind is getting in the shower and getting a few hours of sleep before you have to go back into the freezing temperatures. You bump into Bucky on your way in and ask where the rooms are. He leads you up to the third floor and he shows the two rooms, you and Nat were in one room with a single queen bed and Steve and Bucky were down the hall with two double beds.

“Hey no fair why do we have to share?” you ask, looking up at him.

“That’s what you get for taking first watch.” he replies snarkily.

“God you suck sometimes!” you say shoving past him into your room.

“I can do more than that if you want” he replies, leaning in the doorway.

“Get outta here Barnes” you say pushing him out of the room “I gotta shower i’m frozen!”

“Alright, well i’m just next door if you need anything” he says, grinning as you close the door in his face. You manage to get a few good hours of sleep before being woken up around 12pm by Nat starting the shower in your shared room.

Day 2

“How was the watch?” you ask her, letting out a yawn.

“Interesting.” She said with a slight blush forming on her cheeks

“Oh my god tell me!” you say throwing a pillow at her. She tells you how her and Steve had been really flirty, and that he had even given her his jacket to stay warm when he had noticed her shivering.

“So cute I may puke.” you respond, rubbing your eyes. “Anyways the boys stuck us with the shared bed.”

“Well, I say we do something about that,��� she says, pulling Steve’s room key out of the jacket he had lent her. The two of you proceed to break into their room and move all their stuff out and all your stuff in.

“That’ll show them” you both high five before flopping down onto the beds and falling asleep. Your alarm goes off at midnight. You get up and dress yourself in your warmest clothes and head out to relieve Steve.

“Hey Steve, you're all done.” you say scooting out of the harsh cold of the morning and into the slightly less frigid car. The sun hadn’t risen yet making it a good 10 degrees cooler than when you had been there yesterday afternoon.

“Any movement?” you ask

“None so far.” Bucky responds “how rich was this?”

“God if zillionaires existed he was that for sure.” you say wrapping your arms around yourself to maintain body heat.

“So that’s how he kept you around so long.” he remarks.

“Well it wasn’t his kind and nurturing demeanour.” You state. It was too early for talking or thinking so you both sat there in silence staring at the cabin. After the first few hours you couldn’t feel your hands or feet or face. Using your lighter you make a small ball of fire in an attempt to warm yourself up but to no avail.

Bucky glances from his binoculars to you, back to the house then quickly back to you again realizing that you were looking colder by the second. With the watch not over for another 8 hours Bucky knew he had to do something.

“Look, this isn’t a move, but you're about 5 minutes away from becoming a human popsicle and seeing as I’m basically a human furnace…” he trails off realizing the confused look you were giving him. “Well what I’m saying is that I can keep you warm”

“I bet you say that to all the girls freezing to death.” you retort, staying in place feeling slightly stubborn and like you had to prove something to him. Or maybe it was because you didn’t want to get too close to him, afraid of how it might make you feel.

“Seriously,” he says, with a small chuckle “if you die I think Wanda and Nat will execute me”

“I’m fine” you mumble

“No you aren’t. Just come here” he says pulling you onto his lap with ease.

“Jesus you are warm.” you say as you curl up into him. He wraps his human arm around you knowing it’ll be warmer for you and uses the metal ones to hold up the binoculars. He feels your hands moving absentmindedly over his chest. He laughs “Are you feeling me up doll?”

“Well let’s just say I get why so many ladies love you.” you respond

“What? It isn't my shining personality?” he asks, almost offended.

“The only thing shining about you is your arm.” you say with a laugh.

You two stay like until you’ve warmed up enough to go back to your seat. You two wait until you reach the 48 hour mark before heading into the yard to set up the cameras and returning back to the hotel.

[beauzos]

Webkinz Games Ranked

Because I have nothing better to do and I’d never played all the Webkinz games before now.  Includes Tournament games and board games, but is mainly about the arcade.

Wheel of Wow/Deluxe and Wishing Well will not be ranked, but other Dailies will.

Also include Academy games.  I did not have Plumpy’s Hairdresser when I made this, but I do now upon this edit.

So in general the arcade games are sorted alphabetically, with random exceptions. I’m just going down the list as-is in the arcade.

Grand Grotto - one of the match three-esque games, though you mainly just click stuff.  A little tough, but I wasn’t trying very hard.  The graphics aren’t that thrilling but aren’t bad.  Tries to do something interesting things, but I don’t really love a lot of the Webkinz takes on match three games. 5/10.

Goody Gumdrops - an infinite running style game where you collect gumdrops to progress.  This game is not fun.  Feels like the flow of Kinzcash you get is also less compared to a lot of other games.  Not much going on after the first minute or so. 4/10.  EDIT: I was actually really mean to this game and I don’t know why.  I really like it now.  It’s fun, not too intensive.  Inoffensive and cute.  You actually do make decent KC from it.  7/10.

Polar Plunge - this was one of my favorite games when I was a kid.  You sled down a hill.  It’s simple.  I have never fucking completed a track of this game in my life.  Don’t like the new version, but the art style isn’t offensive.  I find the older art style for the games more charming, though.  It’s fun.  8/10.

Cash Cow - another game I probably played a lot, though I prefer 2.  Another take on the match three.  This game also had its art style updated, but I just don’t like the lineless look of the update.  It’s soulless, and it makes the visuals more busy and hard to follow for me.  All right game though.  7/10.

Smoothie Moves - this is basically just Zuma, which my dad loves playing.  I like this kind of game, too, though I suck at it.  Nice visuals, clean, fun gameplay.  8/10.

Wacky Zingoz - one of those games where you try to hit something as far as you can.  It’s so basic, it’s not really anything, and you can’t make much money on it-- like 10 Kinzcash is generous in terms of how much you make.  Not fun.  1/10.

Wacky Zingoz Extreme - the EXTREME version of Wacky Zingoz, except with more bats and more to do, but still not much.  An improvement.  3/10.

Ant Mania: Picnic 2 - the thrilling sequel to Picnic.  Not bad, I remember playing this one a lot.  You just try to collect food while avoiding spiders and fire ants.  It’s simple, but fun.  Not really my favorite though.  5/10.

Atlantiles - I don’t know how to describe this game.  You match tiles together, but it’s not like a match three.  Never played this game till now, but I love it.  Excellent game, really fun, a little challenging but not too hard.  10/10.

Bananza - a really basic, older game.  You collect bananas and avoid obstacles.  Not the most visually interesting or engaging game.  3/10.

Booger Gets an A - I get the impression this very basic addition game is for the youngest fans of Webkinz, but the games get difficult really fast simply because of the speed.  It caught me by surprise because I had no memory of that.  Not bad.  5/10.

Zingoz Bounce ‘N’ Burst - I remember really liking this game but it’s not very fun to play now.  You try to burst bouncing Zingoz and it’s not particularly interesting, but is challenging.  5/10.

Candy Bash - a brick breaker clone.  Not particularly fun-- it feels like your character is way too close to the bricks.  4/10.

Candy Bash 2: Viva Poncho - this one is about as equally unfun, but not the same game as the first.  You have more ability to move and control what’s going on, but you’re really slow.  You’re just sauntering back and forth to bust candy blocks falling, and it’s just kinda eh.  4/10.

Cash Cow 2 - I like this game.  I’ve played this game many times.  Another take on match three, but I enjoy it more than the original.  Solid game, good fun, I’m terrible at it.  7/10.

Color Storm - somehow wasn’t looking forward to this game but I had some fun with it.  Another kind of match three, but challenging and interesting.  A good take on the broad genre.  7/10.

Crafty Canaries - a match three.  Good fun to play, I played it to completion.  Not too much going on but it’s solid.  8/10.

Dashing Dolphin - the controls are slippery and awkward.  You’re trying to navigate through hoops and through nets, but it’s not fun to control or to play.  1/10.

Dogbeard’s Gold - expected something different from the title, but it’s fine.  The only control is clicking with good timing to shoot from one island to the next.  It’s all right.  Not much to write home about and not much Kinzcash to make up for it.  I liked the visuals.  4/10.

Eager Beaver’s Adventure Park - I don’t like spelling games.  This is a take on one, but I didn’t really enjoy it.  3/10.

Flutter Bugged - just running around and avoiding bees(?) using flowers.  Can get wild pretty fast, not bad.  5/10.

Get Eleven Solitaire - I fucking love Webkinz card games.  This is no exception.  The game is extremely simple and is pretty much the same every level, but I like it.  I like solitaire and I like the take on it to get to eleven.  It’s good, casual gameplay and nice visuals.  I bought a Deluxe membership to play this game.  10/10.

Go-Go Googles - I remember loving this one as a kid, might have even gotten the trophy for it.  Fun, but basic.  You jump to collect flowers and protect the tree from butterflies.  It’s fine, but the controls feel slightly janky, but not bad.  5/10.

Goober’s Atomic Adventure - basically an updated version of Goober’s Lab, except with pay-to-win and pay-to-play elements!  You can play without, but it’s clear they want you to pay.  I do not like this because of that.  0/10.

Goober’s Lab - the OG match three.  Fun, but it’s really slow, like painfully slow.  It is good fun, though.  7/10, would have been 8 without the slowness.

Griddling Gourmet - I wonder how many people have even unlocked this game?  After owning an account for 12 years and playing on and off, I unlocked this game this month.  You get it by completing all levels of the Cooking course, and it’s basically just an arcade version of that lesson.  It’s all right-- I feel like the academy version controls better, but I always loved the Cooking class.  9/10.

Hatch the Dragon - kinda reminds me of 2048?  You try to hatch the Dragon.  Fun, challenging, interesting, and I want to give it a go after the initial playthrough to see if I can do better.  8/10.

Skunk Sweeper: Hide ‘N’ Skunk -  a take on Minesweeper.  I don’t like Minesweeper or this.  1/10.

Home Before Dark - kinda like Meepit Juice Break on Neopets?  I actually do like games like where you’re shifting the position of pipes around to achieve something, but it’s nothing to write home about.  6/10.

Hoppy Little Rocketship - an infinite jumping kind of game.  I like those games, but this game is wildly laggy and that really ruins the experience.  2/10.

Hungry Hog - this game is ugly and not particularly fun.  A take on Pac-Man, I guess?  I liked this game a lot as a kid but it’s just kinda eh.  4/10.

Iceberg Escapades - not fun.  Controls don’t feel right.  Another bland clicking game.  1/10.

Jazz Monsters - this game confused me on account of the fact that the purple monster isn’t purple, but its color matches up perfectly with the keyboard, which is pink, but is actually like, supposed to be the Green Instrument or something.  Not fun.  1/10.

Jumbleberry Fields - it’s a daily, but you have some actual control over what’s going on so it’s included.  It’s Yahtzee except the dice are loaded, but I like it.  This game, like most of Webkinz, is buggy, and one time, I filled up my Jumbleberry Jar and tried to redeem my prize, but the game bugged out and it reset to zero with me receiving no prize.  I’m still mad.  Not really gonna rank it, but like, 7/10.

Jumbleberry Blast - a match three, but this one is really satisfying to play.  Not a whole lot to say about it, but I actually like this one!  8/10.

Leapin’ Llama - game allegedly lets you use the mouse but it doesn’t work.  A basic infinite running game.  Not fun.  Slow.  3/10.

Lily Padz - this game is fuck ugly, but controls good.  Really simple, but pretty fun.  The jumping feels good and the controls are actually tight!  Wow!  6/10.

Lily Padz 2: Tropical Downpourz - it’s like the first one except it’s not ugly and controls really bad.  Hard to gauge how far your jump goes and doesn’t feel right like the first one does.  Not good.  1/10.

Dex Dangerous(tm) and the Lunar Lugbotz!(tm) - the Webkinz challenges made me play this game 500 times and I’m sick of it.  It’s a basic Asteroids game.  It’s all right, but I don’t like it. 3/10.

Lunch Letters - a typing game.  Very Hard really means that mode is fucking hard, so I’m impressed.  I don’t love typing games, but it’s not bad.  5/10.

Ms. Cowaline’s Rollcall - a really fast-paced game where you try to keep track of whether you’ve seen the same Webkinz in a row.  Super fun, I suck at reaction games, but maybe a little too simple?  7/10.

Operation Gumball - I’m bad at this one, and don’t find the number puzzles super interesting, BUT it’s unique so I’ll give it points.  Not really for me but not bad.  6/10.

Pet Party Parade - another take on match three.  This idea of freeing a creature by clearing paths has been used a million times in these Webkinz match threes, like the Grotto one and Jumbleberry Blast. but isn’t as fun.  4/10.

Picnic - the original Picnic, just a take on the snake game.  Simple, but solid.  5/10.

Pinky’s Big Adventure - essentially a remake of Hungry Hog, but with a face lift and some slight changes to the gameplay.  Not bad.  Not my favorite, though, since I don’t really enjoy Pac-Man style games to begin with.  5/10.

Pizza Palace - delicious, finally some good fucking food.  Love this one.  In the vein of Cake Mania, a series I LOVE, you make pizzas.  It’s stressful, like working a food job in real life.  I love this game, but I’ve never completed it.  I wish they gave you more than one life for such a long and difficult game.  Can’t complain much, though.  10/10.

Plumpy’s Hairdresser - the arcade version of the Grooming class.  Fun.  Pretty much the same as always.  8/10.

Polarberry Jam - pretty much like Bananza except now it’s a polar bear?  It’s not fun.  Character is too slow and feels limiting.  1/10.

Pumpkin Patch Protector - fuck ugly, but I don’t know any other Webkinz games like it, so points for creativity?  It’s a click and shoot type of game.  Not much to write home about.  3/10.

Quizzy’s Word Challenge - I don’t like spelling games, but this is more fun than Eager Beaver’s.  Not bad.  It’s kind of like boggle, I guess?  5/10.

Skater Kat - hip and kewl.  The controls are okay but feel a little slow.  Not particularly fun or interesting.  You just skateboard and jump.  3/10.

Spree! - another daily, but you get to do stuff.  It’s a virtual board game.  I like it, and I like the idea of saving up money to spend one you get to the end.  8/10.

Stack ‘Em Up Solitaire - a basic take on Solitaire.  I wish the game looked just a little better- the green they used isn’t really nice to look at for long periods of times.  I like this one.  6/10.

Stardrops - another take on match three.  Looks pretty, kinda interesting, but not my favorite.  5/10.

Tile Towers - I love Mahjong, but the colors they use for the tiles make this game hard to play.  It’s hard to distinguish the tiles apart, so that’s not fun.  If you want to play a Mahjong clone on a pet site, just stick with Koujong on Neopets.  2/10.

Triple Strike Solitaire - Solitaire, except this time it’s in pyramids!!!  I actually prefer this to the other Solitaire, but it still is a little visually unpleasant, but not too bad.  I wish they would update this one!  8/10.

Banaza: Tropical Troubles - the thrilling sequel to the original.  Pretty much the same except you don’t progress in levels, it just keeps going till you lose.  A little more going on, but eh.  The platforming doesn’t feel good.  3/10.

Tulip Troubles 2 - where’s Tulip Troubles 1.  We want answers.  A quick reaction game.  Fun.  Not bad.  Kinda just gets stale after a while.  5/10.

Tunneling Twigsy - this is not fun.  Kind of like the Polar Bear one from Neopets but nowhere near as fun?  1/10.

Wacky’s Bullseye Batter - a batting game.  Basic, fun.  It’s okay.  5/10.

WackyER Zingoz - the THIRD version of Wacky Zingoz, and this one is actually pretty all right.  Way more going on visually, there’s levels, it’s chill.  6/10.

Waddell’s Icecap Adventure - we all hate ice physics, right?  Right.  Mixed the other Penguin game up with this.  The controls are bad and it’s not fun.  2/10.

Webkinz Rally - it’s all right?  A really basic racing game, but I wish there was more to it. 4/10.

Scrambled - love this one.  So simple, but challenging, but fun.  You make omelettes until you win.  Customers are mean to you like in real life.  10/10.

Where’s Wacky - basic memory matching game.  It’s okay. 3/10.

Whimsy Skies - idk how to describe and I don’t want to because it’s got the classic Control Slowness(tm) and isn’t fun.  One point added because I love Webkinz dragons, though.  2/10.

Zacky’s Quest - I want to actually complete this game some day but I have no patience for it.  It’s unique, interesting, kind of an actual game and isn’t a match three.  I like the adventure vibes. 6/10.

Zingoz Bounce - this game disappeared from my arcade.  It was the game of the day the other day and I know they get taken out of the arcade list for that day but when it switched over it didn’t come back and I didn’t have the chance to play it when it was game of the day.  Found it making this list though and it’s a boring clicking-to-support-the-ball game.  1/10.

Zingoz Pie - you throw pie.  You do not have fun. 2/10.

Zingoz Pop - another updated game visually and it just totally lose the charm the original version has-- which you can play in the Quick-Play Arena, at least.  It’s not much, though.  4/10.

Zingoz Zangoz - it’s not fun.  It’s a fruit bouncing game and I just don’t care for the visuals or the gameplay.  1/10.

TOURNAMENT GAMES

Webkinz Supermodelz - I’ll argue that this is the most popular tournament game.  I like it.  You pick out outfits and the judges arbitrarily judge you.  9/10.

Cash Cow Battles - the same as the original Cash Cow but you’re competing against someone else.  7/10.

Wacky Zingoz - no.  1/10.

Link’D - it’s Connect Four.  I like Connect Four.  5/10.

Checkers - I don’t like Checkers because I’m bad at it.  If I wanted to bad at that kind of game I’d play Chess JKSDBFSD.  Tried playing against the AI with Alyssa Fairy and she wiped the floor with me.  3/10.

Bogbeard’s Bathtub Battles - it’s Battleship but with cool power-ups.  Actually very fun.  9/10.

Rock Paper Scissors - what do you think.  5/10.

Chef Challenge - my favorite tourney game.  I LOVE making recipes in Webkinz so this is just a blast.  10/10.

Kinz Pinz Bowling - it’s virtual bowling, so not bad.  5/10.

Goober’s Atomicolicious - a take on Goober’s Lab but with a few more things-- trying to fill vials of color before your opponent does.  I already like Goober’s Lab, so.  This version is not slow, so that’s great.  8/10.

Duck Crossing - not a big fan?  I like that it’s a strategy game but it’s just okay.  6/10.

Zingoz Switcherooz - not a fan, really, but it’s simple and inoffensive.  I suck at strategy games.  4/10.

BOARD GAMES

Farming Frenzy - kinda fun, but really simple.  I remember liking this game a lot.  6/10.

Go Fish - wow.  it’s Go Fish.  5/10.

Jigsaw - love jigsaw games.  For some reason the ask/chat/rap functions pop up and make the game pretty much unplayable for me.  I’m so mad, because this was my favorite Webkinz board game.  WHY does this pop up when it’s a one player game.  1/10.  Would have been a 9/10 otherwise.

Pool - it’s Pool.  But it wouldn’t let me play, so idk.  I remember it being all right, though.  5/10.

Skunk Sweeper - it’s basically an original Minesweeper instead of what we get in the aracde version?  But I don’t like Minesweeper. 1/10.

Webkinz Air Hockey - it’s virtual air hockey.  It’s fun, though.  7/10.

Webkinz Coloring - it’s a virtual coloring book.  1/10.