#it might delight you to know nathan and uni do not get worse at least

[starswordartblog]

[Late for @oc-growth-and-development‘s OCtober prompts, day 27: Anniversary. Will likely be my last piece for the event]

[Content warning for grief/mourning, and some hints of codependency.]

How had it been an year since that? It couldn't have been an year. It felt like it hadn't been nearly enough time to be a whole year, and it also felt like it had been an eternity.

And yet they had been reminded of the date several times, so there was no denying it.

It had been one year since Moira left their lives.

One year since they stumbled into a most somber gathering on Aceno Town, Mr. Olden turning to them with watery eyes as he told them Moira had been killed by an errant beast that very morning. One year since they saw Mirian —strong, rebellious, coolest-girl-around Mirian— as a broken mess at the center of all that, silent and frozen whenever the sobs let up from shaking her more violently than she could have ever been.

One year since there had been no funeral, per Mirian's request, and only Nathan and Uni knew how she would like to be celebrated. One year since they flew a last time to the top of the tallest tree on their side of the forest, the same place where she gave Uni flying lessons, and hung their crude drawings there amidst copies of her grimoire pages, the ones for animals and magical creatures she had mourned in secret along the years. One year since Uni too had almost broken down by a pain so new and unknown, if not for his brother to hold him tight through the sobs, standing strong even as the tears ran through him also.

One year since Nathan had last said her name, because he promised to move forward. Because they were the ones still alive and they had to make that life worth it and there was nothing worth to find in that misery so they had to go on and chase their happiness elsewhere. They would hardly stay around town for long since then, jumping from one adventure to another, chasing any small thing that got their attention. They grew a reputation around the country in that time, prodigious mages causing a ruckus everywhere.

And before they realized, a whole year went by, and the dates creeped on them. First her birthday, then the death anniversary. Uni's heart would still sink every time he thought about how there were mere weeks between the two. Moira's birthday parties were always a blast, her sister would go out all out in planning them after all. Maybe it was for the best that everyone got to make such happy memories with her right before she left?

That didn't convince Uni much, but it was a thought that crossed his mind at times. He told Mirian a week after the birthday, and she crushed him in a tearful hug while saying he was just like Moira at times. That happened often in their newfound friendship, as he learned of a caring side of Mirian she never showed anyone but her little sister before. Though it took him a while to get used to it, he found that he liked reminding people of Moira. She always went on about memories being precious after all, and now all of her was just a memory. He had to carry it on with care.

And Nathan was making that hard.

Nathan couldn't stand any mention of her. He would flinch and leave immediately whenever he heard anyone talk about her. He had planned their longest string of quests yet in advance to make sure they'd be away during the birthday and days surrounding it. Probably would have made it longer if the had realized the death anniversary was that soon, but he had never been good with dates. He got quiet the whole day he was reminded of it, and the very next already had plans to travel to basically the other side of the country.

"Can't we check it out some other time, Nathan?" Uni whined, "We've been working a lot these days, I'm tired."

"Just this one more, okay," Nathan answered averting his gaze, a hand scratching the back of his head. "We're kinda out of money after all."

"We're out of money exactly because we've been traveling so much. Not like treasure always pops up whenever we go. And you're not even following a clue here," he shook the map Nathan had given him, "you picked this place just because it's far away."

"And so what?" Nathan shouted back with more anger than necessary for a sibling fight, "It's been great so far, right?"

Uni lowered his head down against the stare, because that was the problem wasn't it? Nathan's attitude was bothering him now, but it had been his crutch when the pain was fresh. If Nathan hadn't pushed forward against that sorrow, Uni had no clue how he would have gotten over it. Wasn't it ungrateful to complain about him now?

Besides, what would he do if Nathan did quiet down? If he broke down like Mirian, who would hardly leave her home outside of work, who could still be found sobbing at random places all the time, who had lost and her pride and joy. Nathan was the one always protecting Uni, always giving him hope. If after a whole year they went back to the same misery, Uni wouldn't ever believe again that they could escape it.

He wanted to slow down and mourn Moira, but he wanted much more for Nathan to not do that. So he would have to suck it up.

"Okay. Guess we're leaving right away then."