#it may not be the exact same but your still stereotyping men and treating their right to exist as something to control all while bringing

[mashkdemss]

And that's the exact same reason Mike told El she was pretty when she dressed feminine? Or he kissed her in the Snowball when he was feminine? Or told her he loved her new style? Make it make sense 😂

Actually, I'm even glad that I was asked such a question, because I wanted to continue my thought from the last post. Now I will tell you why I think that Mike is not attracted to girls and that his feelings for El cannot be considered romantic.

Important: you can consider Mike whoever you want, bisexual, asexual, gay, even straight. but I think that he is gay, because there is a huge amount of evidence for this, and if his feelings for Will are confirmed, then it will be much more logical to say that he is gay.

Let's start with the first season, where the arc of the romantic relationship between Mike and El begins:

I think it's obvious that El looks like a boy at that point, it's mentioned several times in the series, perhaps this was the reason why it was easier for Mike to treat her kinder than Dustin and Lucas did. Another reason for this occasional kindness on Mike's part is that El helped Mike find Will. Mike's main goal, after all, was to find Will, and that's why he needed El. He didn't treat her like a cute girl he fell in love with at first sight, he treated her exactly as a weapon or their key in finding Will (as rude and unfair as it may sound to El, but nevertheless, these are Mike's words)

Why Mike kissed El, or asked her to dance, or called her pretty, is hard to understand unless you've been in his situation. And by situation, I mean social pressure and expectations, and how they don't match your internal identity.

Let me explain: when you're a little boy who doesn't yet fully understand that he's gay, who lives in a small conservative town in the 80s, in a nuclear family with a father who makes homophobic jokes at your expense, you're going to try to be more normal. You're going to model your parents' relationship, you're going to model your friends who are openly attracted to the opposite sex, you're going to model your behavior on stereotypically masculine men on TV, etc. And you're going to end up telling yourself that you HAVE to like girls, because otherwise you're "wrong."

If it weren't for Lucas, who with his childish stereotypical thinking noticed Mike's affection for El, or if it weren't for Nancy, who for the first time saw her brother with a girl, asked if he liked her, then Mike would not have decided on a romantic relationship with El. When Lucas comically depicts Mike kneeling in front of El to show him that Mike is supposedly in love with El, Mike at first does not even understand what Lucas means. The final point in the question "Was Mike in love with El in the first season" is put by the words of Finn Wolfhard, when asked about Mileven relationship, he said that at the time of their meeting, Mike did not even have a thought about love in his head.

Only when he realized that he had a good chance to start a relationship with the first girl he met who wasn't disgusted by him (Lucas' words btw) did he decide to take things into his own hands and start showing her the signs of attention that he could see in the movies, for example. And a kiss, an invitation to the ball, or little compliments were these signs of attention, albeit very, very childishly awkward.

Also, don't forget that words and their hidden symbolism play a big role in interpreting the ideas of this show (crazy, stupid, bullshit, etc., they all matter). Let's remember when else have we heard the word "pretty"? I can think of two instances: In Season 1, El looks at a picture of Nancy and calls her pretty, and in Season 3, El tells Billy that she saw his mother in visions and that she was really pretty. In both cases, there is no romantic subtext, especially the first moment, because it is a direct foreshadowing/parallel to Mike's words. When El calls Nancy pretty, Mike agrees. Reluctantly, but he still agrees. The fact that he may find Nancy and El pretty does not confirm his attraction to girls, because if finding El pretty = being in love with her, then Mike is also in love with his sister, which is obviously not true. Besides the parallel between El and Mike's sister, I want to say that finding someone of the opposite sex beautiful when you're gay is a completely normal experience. Like, I'm a lesbian myself and I may find some guys good looking, but that still doesn't mean I'm romantically interested in them, romantic attraction is different.

Mike initiates the kiss in season 1 and 2, and the reason for this is because of the pressures of heteronormativity, he takes on the role of the man in the heteronormative relationship that everyone expects of him. And then later, during the kissing scenes in season 3, El is the one who initiates the kisses. El leans in while Mike basically stands there like a statue. Mike takes her hands off of him. During the second kissing scene in season 3, El is the one who holds Mike's face in her hands while Mike literally just sits there. Even though he is still affectionate with El as time goes on + as she develops her own identity + comes across as more stereotypically feminine, we see him become more and more uncomfortable with it, especially during the last kissing scene in season 3.

Mike and El's final kiss in season 3, or to be more precise, Mike's reaction to that kiss, is a whole other conversation, because I think that was his final stage of realizing his lack of attraction to girls. He may not have realized yet that he liked boys, but he did begin to understand that he wasn't interested in El or girls in general. I won't dwell on that, I'll just say that if Mike really liked girls, that embarrassing scene wouldn't make sense. If he didn't realize then that he didn't like girls, then what? I don't think he realized that he just didn't like El. That would be weird, because given his previous attention to her, it's unclear what could have changed in El so much that Mike "fell out of love" with her in one season.

Anon also mentioned that Mike liked El's new style, but I don't even see the point in analyzing that, because it's just a parallel to Hopper, who literally said the same thing. Another parallel between Mike and El's parental figure, nothing romantic.

Now I want to tell you why I think Mike isn't attracted to girls, but let's move El aside a little to look at Mike outside of their relationship.

Mike is the only one from the entire party, or even from the entire series, who does not show interest in the opposite sex, with the exception of his partner. Dustin is dating Suzie, but he still thinks Phoebe Cates is hot. Lucas is dating Max, but before that, he also competed with Dustin for Princess Daphne in slot machines, and also called Max "perfect in her own special way." Max is dating Lucas, but he likes to look at boys in magazines and finds Ralph Macchio attractive. El, apparently, enjoys the idea of Max dreaming about other guys, and El also imagined herself in the heroine's place when she watched Hopper's TV. If we consider other, slightly more adult characters: Steve actively shows interest in other girls, Nancy has a poster of Tom Cruise in her room, and Robin, the first confirmed LGBT character in the series, also showed interest in Tammy Thompson, Phoebe Cates and Vickie.

Mike, on the other hand, has never shown any interest in girls other than El. Ever. When Max shows up at school, Mike is the only one who is extremely negative towards her and tries hard to keep her out of the team, acting in complete opposition to the rest of the party. His negative attitude towards Max not only helped create an interesting dynamic between them and make El jealous, but it was also an interesting way to differentiate Mike from the other boys based on his attitude towards girls. I've heard people justify his behavior by saying that he misses El and doesn't want Max to take her place, but that sounds crazy because how could Max take her place? Does Mike really think that if Max takes El's place, he'll have to date her and forget about El? That doesn't make any sense. The only way Mike's behavior makes sense is if he was jealous of his friends' (and especially Will's) attention to Max and didn't want Dustin and Lucas to have a love interest while Mike has no one to project his feelings onto.

When Dustin and Lucas compete for Princess Daphne in a game, Mike shows no interest in it. When Dustin says his girlfriend is hotter than Phoebe Cates, Mike makes his signature face. He doesn't respond to it, while Lucas expresses his doubts that Susie couldn't possibly be hotter than Phoebe Cates. When Ted calls El a "sweetie pie," Mike makes that face again, even though there was no reason to do so.

Oh, and let's not forget about those shots, which could very well be a complete accident, but could also be brilliantly planned symbolism:

Even though the main characters are 14 years old in season 3, in the midst of their teenage years and growing up, Mike still has no interest in girls other than El, both because he is fixated on her and because he has no attraction. The scene in the mall where Mike, Will, and Lucas are looking for a gift for El has always caught my attention. Especially that moment when the boys stumble upon a lingerie store and, as befits normal teenagers, get scared and run away. I find this scene interesting because of what the boys are looking at: based on the sequence of shots, it is clear that Lucas is looking at women's underwear, Will is looking at the bottom of the underwear, which can also be identified as men's, and Mike is looking at stockings, which have no clear gender.

This is an interesting decision, because if Mike was attracted to girls, there would be no point in putting a shot with gender-neutral underwear after it. While this may sound like an argument against my point, I'm mainly just bringing this up to include this screenshot of a post from the official Stranger Things Twitter account:

And finally, let's get back to the take on the Tom Cruise poster in Nancy's room.

Did you know that posters can say a lot about the person whose room they're in? In the show, we also saw Billy's room, who is obviously attracted to women, which is why he has posters of women in bikinis. We also see Steve's room, who is also attracted to women, which is why he also has posters of women in bikinis. And what do we see in Mike's room? Yeah, I think you know what I'm talking about... A half-naked muscular dragon being fought by a little wizard? Oh, okay.. A poster for the 1982 movie "Conan the Barbarian"?!? With another half-naked muscular man, I guess... Okay, but there's also a woman in the corner of that poster, right? Yeah, I hate to spoil the fun for you guys, but this is definitely not the kind of movie a man who likes women would watch. "Conan the Barbarian" is FULL of misogyny, toxic masculinity and... half-naked muscular men, yes.

In general, I think this topic can be discussed for a long time, but I will probably stop here and I will be glad if you share your thoughts if you do not agree. I will be grateful if someone explains to me why he thinks that Mike is bi or even hetero, since I am not used to looking at this character from this point of view

[takashi0]

I don’t know if you’re still accepting the pride asks and this may be too personal but I’d be curious if you answered 24 (your relationship with your religion and your lgbt identity) and 33 (what you find the most important about your identity)

>24. Do you practice any religion, if so how does it play into your LGBT identity? Do you feel welcomed by your spiritual community?

Christian. Protestant. Between Denominations. Probably a Universalist.

Truth be told I used to be homophobic when I was young, but the first thing that chipped that away was my mom, of all people, who asked the question of "If being gay is a choice why wouldn't you choose to be straight to avoid all the mistreatment?"

Which sounds shitty but even still, a victory is a victory.

After that, for as much time as I spend bitching on tumblr and the insistence this place has on taking the wrong approach of building up (minority) groups by tearing (majority) groups down, it did help me further build the notion of "oh yeah, gay people are actual human beings who suffer and deserve better."

And beyond that, I learned about non-mainstream analyses of Biblical text, namely how the passages bigots use to justify their views aren't what they claim and so I have pretty much no cognitive dissonance between my faith and my identity.

That being said?

Fuck no I don't feel welcomed by my community. I've pretty much resigned myself to never, EVER coming out as Bi. At least not until my Granddad passes on. Because I know the odds of me being accepted are next to nil. And it sucks because my family are generally decent people EXCEPT when it comes to LGBT issues.

And the constant news feed of people in the """Kweer community""" caring more about "owning the straights" and deciding "let's take every awful stereotype Homophobes have about us and be that way unironically even when it's actively detrimental to us" and the inevitable backlash sure as fuck isn't helping that.

They're all gonna think I'm some kind of demonic freak who wants to fuck children because God fucking forbid people understand why "maybe we shouldn't have Kink shit and Children in the same location" is a bad idea.

I love Jesus as much as I always have but my family will reject me based on my identity and many of my views politically and the wider "Queer Community" has made it clear they feel the exact same way.

No I'm not bitter, why do you ask?

>33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate?

"Proud" is a strong word. I'm not really "proud" of being Bi, but I'm not ashamed of it either. I just am. To me it's not just like. Some big fucking thing with which to make a big hoopla over, it's just another facet that's as trivial as my race or me being a man.

Though I suppose it has considerably expanded my horizons and taste in smut, lmao.

Though in terms of "Want to recognize" how about actually recognizing that I like Men AND Women? Can I do that and not be treated like Diet Gay or Diet Straight or like I need to "Pick a side?" or some bullshit like that?

[rikeijo]

I can very well see your points, and probably as you've said there are people, who due to lack of interest or education can't imagine a different relationship dynamic than "a man" and "a woman".

But in my experience, it's often just that, well... the fact is that most women on Earth are to some degree attracted to men, so it's not that surprising at all that in "yaoi ships", there is the super attractive seme and there is the "fangirl self-insert avatar" uke (I'm aware that men also can enjoy those tropes, but at least in Jp, they are tiny minority). It's, of course, not just YoI. The exact same tropes can be seen in a lot of fandoms. I've said it before, but just to be clear, I don't think that fangirls fantasizing about being Victor's wife and doing house chores for him as super girly uke princess Yuuri is, like, a crime... But it's also not "LGBT+ activism", as some people try to portray it (like "shipping same-sex couple" = "🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈allyship", like nah... Imo, it's the same as straight men watching lesbian p0rn).

The thing is "uke/seme" tropes are yaoi or BL tropes, YoI is neither, and it was the creators choice not to make it a yaoi or BL. Whether or not Y&V are romantically involved is left for interpretation, whether they've ever had sex is left for interpretation and if they have, we really have absolutely no way to know in what position... That's the objective truth. So for example, if someone is dead-fixed that YoI is "VicYuu" then they need to push their own ideas, that yes, YoI is yaoi/BL and the creators also subscribe to the idea of semes and ukes and the stereotypes associated, that yes, Y&V are a couple, that they have sex, and that when they have sex, they have sex in this exact position that they want them to, on the creators themselves. That's a lot of levels, on which the creators can have a completely different opinion, and YoI still belongs to the creators, even though fandoms often erase them...

It's not that the words "かっこいい" or "かわいい" are gendered, absolutely not. It's just that in the situation where, well... the truth is that "VicYuu" is simply not canon, some people became obsessed with things like whether Victor's eyelashes aren't too long etc. because if they are, then it threatens their view of the characters and their ship, because there isn't anything else to go by. Well, unfortunately for them Victor's eyelashes are just that long, and Avex&co. didn't seem very keen on being bullied to change that to appease fujos.

And somebody reading this may think that it's just some petty fandom drama, but imo, the non-stop war between fujos and Avex&co. (the war was also about Yurio being treated as the main character, and Yuuri being according to them "mistreated") is at least a part of the reason why Avex doesn't even care enough about this IP to want to make money from it. And I still can't (and probably never will) get over the fact that we haven't seen anything directed by Sayochin since 2017.

Today's translation #460

Go Yuri Go!!!, Yuri!!! on ICE official fanbook, Jun'ichi Suwabe interview

Part 4.

-- Please tell us about a scene, in which you had trouble playing Victor.

S: The honest answer would be "all the scenes", but if I have to pick up some, then I will say it was the beginning of the show, episodes 1~3, I think? It was really tough for me, trying to understand the nature of Victor Nikiforov. It seemed to me that I didn't have enough information to create the character as one realistic, living human being - well, one reason was that it is an original anime. I don't usually have to worry a lot about how I should express emotions of characters I play, but as I've mentioned before, in case of Victor, I often was asked to play him in a completely different, almost opposite, way to what my image of the character was. It was me, who played the role, but I don't really feel that I did. Probably because often I was expressing [in my performance] different emotions than those of Victor that lives inside me.

-- What the directing was like during voice-over recording?

S: If I played the character going based on the context of the lines I was saying and additional information written in the screenplay, Victor would become a cool (かっこいい) character. But I think that the directors wanted Victor to be, first and foremost, not so much a "cool character", but "a genius that don't fit the standard". I think it was like a trial and error method for us to get that right. I was often asked to do multiple takes like: "It wasn't bad, but lets try something different".

-- Victor's "Vkusno!" was so cute. Was that you who came with the idea to say in that way?

S: I said it that way during a test recording and I wasn't told anything about it, so I said it in the same way during the actual recording.

[Notes: I must have stop reading this interview on the Makkachin vs. Yuuri answer, because it really surprised me that he has said that Victor wasn't supposed to be a "cool character"...

A large part of YoI fandom in Jp were fujos absolutely obsessed with gender norms and who is seme who is uke blah blah... (I've ranted about this before).

Seme should be cool (かっこいい) and uke should be cute（かわいい）period... And based on that cute Victor arts were according to them "against canon".

It's really interesting, because before this guidebook was published uke-Yuuri fujos had a massive meltdown over the art that was drawn for it, with Yurio in the center and no rings.... It was then slightly redrawn (but Victor still has gloves, so "no ring").

There was so much anti-fujos dog-whistling in YoI, and reading this interview I wonder if maybe this "Victor not cool, but cute" and the weird, slightly anti-Yuuri answers (the Makkachin vs. Yuuri etc.) were because of that... It would take me a lot of time to summarize for you the whole history of this behavior from Avex&co., but one day I'll do that 💀]

[gildedmuse]

To be honest, I feel we need to just stop everything so we can have a conversation about how 90% of the biggest, baddest pirates in the world of One Piece either refuse to or are unable to dress themselves in anything half decent.

[I mean.... What!?]

And it somehow gets worse the more powerful and infamous they are. I mean, like, when we meet Shanks he's is dressed, more or less, like your stereotypical pirate:

[You know, all the pirate basics: open white shirt, red sash, brown pants, open tied flip flops, Strawhat.... Well, I did say more of less.]

I mean, he doesn't actually do much at this point. He's a lovable rapscallion uncle who ruffles Luffy's hair before sailing out towards the sunset and the literal future.

At which point....

He decides that the pirate look isn't "cool" enough, and what he really needs to complete his style is a pair of Bermuda shorts you would hide from your father. He has gone all pirate up top, but bellow the waist? It's all Florida cousin who's been crashing on your couch for the last six years.

But, hey, Shanks can't always be in Yonko mode. Maybe he's like trying out some new styles. I mean, not that new, all he did is get a pair of patterned pants (and yet they are so much worse...) It's better than say ....

I know what you're thinking. "Haha, I get it. The joke is that Benn Beckman clearly only owns the one outfit."

But no, that is clearly not the case.

One pair of boots? Yeah, seems so (they may not look it here but in the same art style, they are very much the same boots). Same sash? There is every chance. But there is no way in HELL that is the same outfit.

I mean, Benn's muscle mass like doubles in this time frame, but his short has somehow gotten baggier? No, that is not how it works. And you know that feeling of trying on jeans from high school, and they barely go over one thigh? Benn Baby-Got-Back (And Arms, And Chest) Does.

So this man, one of the most feared pirates to sail the seas, who's wanted poster reads DEAD ONLY goes out every couple of years, and finds an EXACT REPLICA of his clothes from over a decade ago. And who knows how long he's been doing this? And in a that time the only change he's made is adding what is definitely either the cape of a man he killed OR the rug of a very fashionable but not super expensive hotel. It's a 50/50 toss up to which of those is true.

Hell, he's not even replacing the sash. Notice it use to wrap around him with some to spare but not anymore. Who knew men bulked up so much going into their 50s?

Look, nothing about this makes sense and yet there must be a reason. Is this some kind of emotional thing? Is Benn especially picky about fabrics and the way clothes feel? Did he just really like how he looked in his first Wanted Poster and thought, "I'm doing that. Forever." Like.... What....

But.... But what about those cool outfits they always dress the cast in? You know, the ones where even Shanks gets to look fly.

I mean, check out little demon Luffy! And Law, you should just buy that coat. Actually, don't buy it. You're a pirate. Steal that jacket and claim it as your own, it's amazing. Ace I like that you've stayed true to your refusal to own a shirt, no notes. Shanks.... Not really sure what you're dressed as? A guy who went through his rival friend old enemy bestie through MIHAWK'S closet, maybe? It didn't even matter, it's still a huge improvement.

Even Doffy is dressed up (and of course looks fabulous) and Corazon is so magical! And...

Okay, that might just be Perona and Mihawk's day clothes, it's hard to tell. But you know what, they still rock them, and I'll bet they've dressed the third member of their little house hold up in-

... damnit Zoro, what even is this? (Do love your trick or treat bag though. You keep protecting those booze.)

So everyone gets in on the act. Like, I don't know how "Canon"y you would consider these, but clearly it's a party everyone is invited to and even Zoro put on a top hat! So Benn must....

Same. Goddamn. Outfit.

For all we know this is his Halloween version. Maybe he has like fifty of these stashed in the ship. They are cards! For Halloween! AND HE IS STILL IN THE SAME DAMN OUTFIT!

Benn. WTF!?

[strangertheory]

I'd love for Will to be able to have the power of reality alteration because him being the most powerful one would be a very nice plot twist. But. Do you really believe they make him more powerful than El? I keep finding crazy comments on social media, suggesting it's the "El show" 😪 *sigh*. And I know some people who say it'd be anti feminist since Will is a boy. Thx

That’s a lot of interesting questions to think about.

I’ll attempt to address each thought that you’ve shared one at a time and provide you with my own opinions and theories about each:

You said: “I'd love for Will to be able to have the power of reality alteration because him being the most powerful one would be a very nice plot twist. But. Do you really believe they would make him more powerful than El?”

I have a lot of conflicted feelings about the way that the fandom often talks about characters’ powers and supernatural abilities in Stranger Things. (I also really dislike the way that the fandom has decided that they can’t appreciate and support both El and Will’s happiness and that their happy endings and successes are somehow mutually exclusive, but I’ll address the topic of their powers first.)

Fans often focus on the abilities and superpowers of characters as something desirable and cool but fans rarely spend time considering what it cost those characters to develop their abilities in the first place. Neither El nor Will suddenly woke up one day and had superpowers that they had conscious control over.

Certain impressive skills that people have in the real world might also be developed under extremely traumatic and undesirable circumstances and not because they wanted them: the powers represented so far in Stranger Things are very much like that variety of skillset.

El’s powers and her ability to control them are canonically shown to have manifested during her imprisonment, abuse, isolation, and manipulation at the Lab. As Kali says “They stole your life, Jane!” Due to El’s isolation from society and from love and affection and from having a family and from everything else in the world beyond the Lab she has a significant amount of early childhood social and psychological development that was stolen from her that she can never truly get back. A healthy, loving, safe environment for development and self-actualization that children deserve to have was not provided to El and she has suffered so much and she has had significant delays in her opportunity to grow and become her own person because of what was done to her. So yes, El has psychic powers that give her a variety of unique abilities that are very useful. But at what cost? If El were given the choice to abandon all of her powers in exchange for a loving family, a community of friends that she’d had the opportunity to know and spend time with since early childhood, a variety of passions and hobbies that she chose for herself over the years as she was growing up and engaging with the world, an extensive understanding of the world outside of the Lab based on her own exploration of the world and not only what people tell her or what she sees on television, and most importantly a sense that she is treated kindly because people truly love her and not because they want to exploit her and her powers for their own purposes: wouldn’t she make that trade?

Do I currently agree with the theory that Will’s subconscious mind created the Upside Down, the Mindflayer, the demogorgon, and even most probably created many other characters and fantastical plotlines that exist in the story? Yes. But I believe it has (so far) been unintentional, entirely subconscious, and is a mental coping mechanism in response to extremely traumatic circumstances that Will has faced throughout his life. Would Will’s subconscious mind creating significant parts of the Stranger Things universe represent a certain level of “power” that is greater than El’s? I don’t personally think they’re comparable. There are things that Will can probably do that El cannot, and vice versa. They will surely each have their own strengths and weaknesses and their own limitations that we may or may not always be shown in the series.

But what does "more powerful” really mean to us, and why does that question even matter? It was not El’s choice to have powers and it was not Will’s choice to have powers. Much of what I believe Will has incidentally created is creating a lot of confusion and suffering for him and for others that he cares about. If the story were about real people I’d be offended at the question of who’s more powerful and feel as though that question and debate is the sort that Dr. Brenner and his colleagues would have: “How useful is this child to me? Which child is more powerful?” I dislike the question because it feels like asking a parent which child is their favorite. I care about them both, and I don’t care about them because they happen to have superpowers: I care about them because they are nuanced characters that are very well-written and that I can empathize with as if they were real people. I respect why it’s a popular thing for fans to debate over which X-Men is the most powerful, for example, but that’s never been what draws me into scifi and fantasy stories. What characters choose to do under unusual circumstances and with unique resources (such as superpowers) is far more important to me than the nature and intensity of the powers themselves. I believe that the Stranger Things fandom does these beautifully written characters a disservice by focusing too heavily on their abilities and not enough on their feelings, choices, relationships, dreams, goals, and experiences that humanize them.

I love Stranger Things because of the humanity of each of the characters and not because some of them can throw cars through walls.

You said: “I keep finding crazy comments on social media, suggesting it's the "El show"”

El is definitely an important character in the story at this point in the show and she has some really fascinating abilities in the Stranger Things universe that often give her iconic moments and provide her an opportunity to be in the spotlight.

I believe that there is a reason that the writers have decided to develop many characters in the story and in my opinion it can seem hard to pin-point a “main” character at times. I think this is absolutely intentional on the part of the writers, and I predict that we will learn how Will’s, Hopper’s, and El’s storylines intersect in season 4. I think we will learn something new about each of the characters.

I do not personally believe that it is the “El show” any more than it could be argued that this is the “Steve show” or the “Hopper show.” But I do appreciate that fans have grown to love El’s character.

I strongly disagree with anyone in the fandom that insists that Will is not important. I can tell that the way that he was quieter in season 3 inspired some fans to dismiss his role in the series entirely, but I think they’re mistaken. Quiet and less assertive doesn’t mean irrelevant in a story like this one. I believe that much of what Will has been through is at the heart of the entire series, and I think that he will play a very critical role in future seasons. If some fans passionately dislike Will then they might need to steel themselves for some severe disappointment.

You said: “And I know some people who say it'd be anti feminist [for Will to be more powerful than El] since Will is a boy." 

I would argue that El embodies many traits that are often presumed to be stereotypically masculine by certain incorrect and outdated schools of thought: assertiveness, the ability to win in combat, determination, resilience, and bravery (among others.) There were eras in which these traits were not always valued and respected in women, and arguably there are still many circumstances under which they still aren’t. El is a complex character who is not written as a gender stereotype and I think that is powerful and important.

We need more characters of many different genders that are written as people. Complex, multi-faceted, and capable of many different things regardless of their gender.

Yes. Will is a boy.

Will is a young boy who has been bullied for having certain traits that are very often stereotypically seen by society as feminine. As being “womanly.”

I believe that feminism needs to be intersectional and seek to address the ways that all people and all genders are harmed by a society that devalues women and devalues traits, work, and skillsets that are associated with femininity.

Feminism should not be reduced and oversimplified to “girl power.” Anyone that reduces feminism to that does not, in my opinion, understand feminism.

“Feminism is the belief in the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes.”

Devaluing admirable traits when someone of one gender expresses them but then deciding to value those exact same traits when they are expressed by a person of a different gender is prejudiced and anti-feminist because it maintains the false idea that certain traits only have value in people if they are a specific gender. 

El is a wonderful, empowering character and I appreciate that she is very well written and admired by many fans. But I worry when certain fans are more willing to appreciate a kick-ass fictional young woman that defies outdated and incorrect gender stereotypes but are not also willing to embrace gentler, more sensitive, less stereotypically masculine young men like Will with similar enthusiasm and affection.

Will is bullied and devalued by his small-town community for having traits and interests that are perceived as feminine and therefore, according to closeminded bigots like his dad, not allowed and are deserving of abuse and bullying. Will is arguably also devalued and dismissed by the Stranger Things fandom because he has traits that are perceived as feminine and undesirable in a young teen guy in the eyes of certain fans, too.

The devaluing and dismissal of gentle, kind, emotional young men is a feminist issue.

A character doesn’t have to be a girl in order to represent feminist ideals within a story. I know that there are probably plenty of feminists that will disagree with me (because there will always be people with their own opinions) but I strongly believe that Will's story is feminist as it has been explored so far (just as El's is.)

Anyone in the fandom that considers themselves a “Feminist” but that spends significant amounts of time criticizing Will Byers by dismissing him as “boring” and criticizing him for being quiet, sensitive, gentle, and emotional should take a good look in the mirror and reflect on what their personal brand of feminism stands for and whether their goal truly is “the equality of the sexes” or if their goal is simply hating men and only valuing and promoting stereotypically masculine traits in our society.

Feminism’s goal is not to make women more powerful than men or to make men less powerful than women, it is about the promotion of the “equality of the sexes.” 

Stereotypes are constructs our society has built and that impact the way we all currently relate to each other. Until society stops treating traits associated with society's currently constructed idea of femininity as something weak or bad then it is important to appreciate these traits in characters of many different genders and to value these traits in men (both in real life and in fictional stories) too. Anyone of any gender can be sensitive and sensitivity should not be seen as a weakness but rather as a strength and as something that's a valuable aspect of our humanity, and the same can be said for many other beautiful traits that society has wrongly decided to put into boxes and assign gender stereotypes to.

This complicated topic is incredibly important to me as a fan of both El and Will. I believe that both El and Will are feminist characters and that the series is very empowering and is challenging society’s gender biases through both of their stories. I hope that my response to your question was successful in communicating how I feel and resonates with you and with perhaps other fans who also care about El and Will and feel their own experiences, feelings, and identities validated by their story arcs.

Will some fans still whine and cry “sexism” and attempt to brand Stranger Things as “anti-feminist” if their hope that El will be the solo main character of the story and not have to share the spotlight with a boy is dashed? Sure. But I think they’re wrong, that their concept of feminism and sexism is incorrect, and that their priorities and their understanding of El’s value as a character is unfortunate. El is more than her superpowers. El doesn’t need to be “the strongest” or “the most powerful” in order to be an inspiring, complex, well-written, relatable, and empowering character.

Thank you for your Ask! I hope you don’t mind how long this response is. You mentioned a few things that I have some very complicated opinions about.

[charincharge]

I’m also a different anon and I’m pretty sure I’m bi too and I get not knowing who or how to tell people like my family would be fine with it but I remember mentioning something to my mom about being bi three years ago now I told her I didn’t know since I hadn’t dated anyone before still haven’t lol but bi was a possibility and she just said “isn’t that just what people say when they aren’t ready to come out as gay” I quickly corrected her and even named people I know who are bi 1/?

But now that I’m mostly sure I’m bi I don’t know how to tell them/don’t want to because last time my mom didn’t believe in bisexuality(I don’t think I actually convinced her it’s a thing I think she may have just sensed that it was a touchy subject and dropped it) as for my city it’s a strange mix of accepting and really judgmental like I’ve carved out the good people but I know the majority wouldn’t be on board or be like my mom and think you can only like one gender. (2/5)

Mentioned it to my sister too years ago and she gets that bi is a thing and I have bi and Pan friends so like I know they’ll get it but to tell my family is just not an option right now and I don’t know when it will be they accept gay but they’re also kinda weird about lgbtq like they think all drag queens are trans women and can’t comprehend/dont entirely believe that they can just be men gay or straight or non binary (3/5)

I’m don’t think they would understand non binary either they probably think nail polish on a boy means he’s either gay or trans but they’re good with people being gay or trans but like only see the very shallow end of lgbtq and I just don’t want to have to justify my sexuality to my family yet or have to fight for them to see bi as bi and not she’s gay just not ready to be out or she’s confused I also don’t want to become the token “gay/lgbtq” member of the family. (4/5)

Because I feel like if I told them I’m bi they would tell the extended family and some of those people are fine to know but I don’t want all of them to know I don’t want to be the novelty at family events or in my own home I’m scared that they’ll treat me as a stereotype like the “gay cousin” because I’m not gay I’m bi and I’m just me it will also turn into an oh I knew you were gay/bi because you like these hobbies or things that are stereotypically lgbtq. (5/5)

Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to this, but you unloaded a LOT of feelings, and I wanted to give them proper consideration. Because, I think this is the struggle of many many people, who feel the exact same way about their friends/family. Unfortunately, biphobia is still hugely real. I was just talking with someone last night whose friend was dating a bi guy, and they wanted to tell their friend he was definitely just gay and lying to her. Which is... so so so untrue.

A lot of discomfort comes from ignorance and just not knowing different people who span across the LGBT community. They’ll meet one gay man and be like - I get THAT, but can’t wrap their head around liking men and women or that gender is a societal construct. My best advice is that, if you don’t feel like you’re ready to be the Bi Person they know, you don’t have to come out to them yet. Because once you ARE ready, it’s going to require a lot of teaching and informing them and constantly justifying your identity, and that... is exhausting. Just know that the more they know, the more understanding they’ll hopefully become, and over time.... it will get better. 

But that said, don’t feel pressured to come out if you’re not ready to deal with that just yet -- you don’t OWE anyone an explanation of your sexuality, and you have to do what you’re most comfortable with. It’s YOUR identity, not theirs, and if don’t think you can make them understand or stop them from putting you in a box, they don’t have to know. 

Sending you giant hugs and support on your bisexual journey. xoxo.

[basketballandtextbooks]

disaster take

i saw this discourse on other blogs and come to the realization that most people probably won’t agree with me but... here’s my two cents:

wendy and kyle are very similar characters, not identical, but the character writing in south park is usually quite shallow (for any character in the cast) and normally any depth that can actually be found in any one character is entirely coincidental or accidental on the part of the observer. For example, in a previous post I mentioned that Kyle probably learned to dance after the events of the rain forest episode, and we know he must have because of highschool musical. This creates and interesting nugget of character depth that fits with his overall character but the connection is most likely entirely accidental. Did the writers think that deeply about Kyle’s character, or did they just forget the throwaway joke they kin-assigned Kyle for one episodes purposes?

for me these gaps between writers intent and interpretation are entertaining and it’s very fun for me to play detective, putting together the whole characters through the lens of ‘death of the author’ and figuring out how the characters behave based on not only their behavior in any one individual episode, but how the inconsistent and shallow character writing makes an overall character-arc (no character is more fascinating in this fashion than Eric Cartman, who has the most cohesive and entirely accidental character arc that spans from episode one and showcases a fascinating and horribly flawed individual)

All of this stated, the similarities in how Kyle and Wendy are written may not be intentional, but the fact is that given the same exact situation they respond similarly and to varying degrees. A good example of this is when they are jealous or their ego is bruised, they both have a tendency to have excessive if not murderous reactions (teacher into the sun, nuke canada, burn down the school, bully your friends)

I don’t think anyone can really make a good faith argument denying that they have strong similarities. There are of course differences, during the smurfs Wendy showed a much cooler head than Kyle would in the same circumstance. They do not need to be identical to share strong similar characteristics

Now for how fandom has perceived Wendy.

There is good reason that some individuals feel that the fan-reaction towards her isn’t entirely based on her writing being inherently ‘worse’ than Kyle’s. It also isn’t true that everyone who loves Kyle and hates Wendy is sexist or suffering from a case of internal misogyny.

That said, Wendy is held to a higher standard than Kyle is. Or more accurately, she is held to account for her actions in canon and Kyle is not. A primary example that I’ve heard multiple times in explaining why she’s a ‘bad’ character or a ‘bad’ person is that she broke Stan’s heart by dumping him. Some accuse her of cheating on him (with either Gregory or Token, pick your poison).

We can dismiss the cheating accusations immediately, there isn’t even a sliver of evidence she ever cheated. The times where she pursued other love interests they were either broken up or not together.

But the underlying message that hurting Stan makes her a bad character and not holding Kyle to that same account when Kyle, as early as the super best friends episode and as terribly as the assburgers episode, has a pattern of hurting Stan and in worse ways.

Wendy dumped him, that’s awful, but she’s allowed to have different feelings for other people and she’s allowed to end a relationship with a boy who constantly vomited on her. But the fan perception of this is “what a bitch” while the reaction to the style friend breakups is “oooh the angst”

This is only one of the ways we can see her being held to a different standard than Kyle. Not every fan is guilty of this, but enough people share this sentiment that is entirely justified for people to point out what appears to be underlying misogyny in how the characters are treated.

There are arguments based more on her writing than her actions, I have heard the ‘she’s always right and that’s not realistic’ on at least four different occasions now. But not only is this factually untrue if you’ve actually watched the show, it ignores the many times Kyle has also been right for seemingly no other reason than the writers convenience. Making him the moral center of the episode or a center of a joke. I find the ‘she’s too perfect’ to be a bad faith argument because the research behind it is shoddy and even when the person behind it acknowledges cases where she was wrong (killing her teacher, bullying, petty grudges to name a few) it’s always hand-waved away as ‘oh, okay, that once, but other than anything that disagrees with me, she’s too perfect. This is a very clear case of confirmation bias. Any evidence that backs the argument that she’s too perfect is guarded and anything that refutes it is discarded.

There will be some fans that hate her and love Kyle for completely unrelated reasons to holding her to a different standard, sexism, or internalized misogyny. But it is a fact that a significant amount of the fandom holds her to a completely different standard and a very possible reason for that is either her gender or how she disrupts their precious ships.

I would make the argument that she has a far stronger and more engaging characterization than Clyde using the same standards I set above where I judge characters based on the totality of their appearances rather than on individual episode. A even removing that framework and basing solely on episodes that focus on them individually, she has a stronger character. And yet I have never once heard or seen anyone making the argument that they dislike Clyde because his character is too flat. This is another case where she, and the majority of the female cast, is held to a different standard. I’ve never seen anyone say ‘it’s hard to write Gregory because he has very little character and the writers only created a flat stereotype’. But I see that sort of perspective all the time for female characters that have more screen-time and development than Gregory ever had.

I love all the characters above and I find their characterizations and lack thereof to be a fascinating puzzle that I spend my free-time putting together.

But female characters in South Park do suffer from what I would consider a form of internalized misogyny. Most fans don’t do this on purpose (thus internalized) but the society we’ve been raised in has a tendency to put men and women on different scales.

This isn’t a scale that’s fair to either sex. The unconscious mentality that “its okay if he has no personality because he’s a guy” does men a disservice too. If you do fall under the category of someone who judges the female characters more than the male ones, I’m not trying to say you’re a bad person or even that you’ve done a bad thing. I want you to reconsider your opinion. Take a moment to actually think about it. I know I’ve been guilty of holding men and women to different standards. In both real life and fiction, I expect less from men. I look down on them in an unhealthy fashion that if I don’t address, could lead to ending up in harmful situations or harming someone else.

fiction is a lens that we can use to better understand reality. I am an advocate that you can treat fictional characters in any way you like and it doesn’t fucking matter. You want to kill Wendy because you think she’s an annoying bitch? Go for it. It doesn’t matter. Wendy is not real.

I don’t want you to change your fandom behaviors, I want you to reexamine them and ask yourself how deeply the disparity in how you view men and women goes. If you use fiction as an outlet for misogynistic or even misandrist feelings, I think that’s valid, but I want you to know that you’re doing it.

If you hold men and women to different standards, whether in fiction, real life, or both, I want you to be aware of it.

Now the elephant in the room.

Damien is one of the most popular characters in South Park and he has one episode focusing on his character. His personality is frequently discarded because in canon, he’s an uppity little git who is both petty and weak. He wants to be liked, is affected by bullying, and cries to his daddy about it.

In fandom he is frequently portrayed as a cool and collected impervious person who, yes, has a temper but instead of how petulant and bratty he appeared in canon, fandom portrays this as ‘badass’.

To put it simply, fandom has a tendency to ignore canon entirely in the name of what’s ‘hot’. They want the prince of hell to be sexy and dangerous, so he is just that.

The majority of popular fanon characterizations fit these same molds. They want Butters to be cute and sweet, so every character flaw he’s ever had is hand-waved away.

How does this relate to my topic?

Fans of the female characters are not impervious to this. Heidi Turner is an extremely flawed and vicious individual who would stoop to any low to protect her damaged pride. She is also a victim in a toxic relationship that put her through a horrible experience. And so the fandom either acknowledges one half, how cruel she can be, or the other, how pure a victim she was someone protect her. And neither combine her to a whole character. A person who was in a bad situation, had a lot of positive traits, bad things happened to her, and she didn’t bad things in return. Her penitent for cruelty in some earlier episodes when she was still a bg character is completely hand-waved away by both camps.

She’s an interesting character and she’s dumbed down for the pleasure of the audience, isn’t this the same treatment the men receive and thus invalidates my entire thesis that they’re held to a different standard?

For starters, the idea that an argument is entirely invalid because of one exception is in itself a fallacy, but to avoid acknowledging her existence would be confirmation bias. She is an anomaly, a female character given the same treatment as the male characters. Is it because she’s deeper or better written than the other female characters? I would argue no, critically watching her episodes she has tons of the same troped behavior that the fans love to despise in the rest of the female cast. Although unlike the other characters (both male and female), where I must do an in-depth watch of the series over the course of 20+ seasons in order to create a whole understanding of them, the majority of her arc happens over the course of two seasons.

An easily digestible amount of content. No one needs to put together the puzzle pieces to understand her like you do with the majority of the cast, it’s all there.

Except it isn’t, and this is why I mentioned her behavior in earlier seasons is discarded. The way people frame her is solely from the seasons where she’s a primary character, ignoring the clear characterization we got from her in earlier seasons that do help to create a more whole understanding of her personality and character.

That all said, there are still portions of the fandom who hate her purely because she blocks their kyman or style or insert-gay-ship-here. There are fans who hate her not because of her flawed personality or even that they find her character flat, but purely because they want to see ‘two hot boys kiss get the gross girl out’. Which is a pretty common mistreatment of Wendy as well.

Now, male characters are on occasion given this treatment but nowhere near as often. While creek shippers and crenny shippers might fight until their last breath, neither group seems to actually hate Kenny or Tweek. But in the ship wars of a ‘het ship’ vs a ‘gay ship’, the female character is frequently trashed by the gay side.

I could go into an aside about the troubling fetishization of gay men that borders on outright homophobia at times, but this has been surprisingly alot.

I guess my point is that any which way you fandom, try to at least understand that sexism is real and be aware when you might be perpetuating messages that can appear unbalanced. And maybe, ask yourself why you do that.

[serenagaywaterford]

Hello, I really don’t know who to talk to but I’m realizing I’m a lesbian after identifying as bisexual since 2016, I came out to my parents and they’re both supportive and happy for me. I’m a highschooler and it’s awkward being gay and no one knowing as ppl tease me to date my guy friends. Any tips or advice in general on being a lesbian? It’s still so weird to talk about but I wanna grow to be very open with my sexuality

Been there. (I used to insist I was straight (for YEAAAAARS I was with the same guy), then bisexual cos I thought I had to be since I was “straight” and not particularly conflicted about it for so long. So it’s a process and a journey getting here no matter what, and everyone takes different routes.) And I’ll be honest, you’re way ahead of the game already. Good for you and you should be proud and happy with yourself for being so self-aware and in touch with yourself. That takes a lot of insight and courage.

I think generally… people will say a lot of things but until you are comfortable being around your friends and family as yourself, it’s never going to be easy. It’s not easy when you’re out either but at least you’re not stuck hiding who you are and adding that level of tension to every interaction. To be honest, I was never particularly comfortable with myself. Not even when I got married to another woman. (My issues with the institution of marriage aside…) But in my job I basically am forced to come out daily to complete strangers, constantly, with the words “my wife”. It gets way, way easier and I’m lucky enough to be in a place and a position that affords me that freedom. Not everyone is.

Are the people teasing you your friends? I mean, high school fucking sucks. I don’t even care how people want to romanticise it after the fact, or in media, or whatever. Even the best experiences are littered with a bunch of drama. We’re all idiots in high school and we all treat our friends like shit half the time, even our best friends. I didn’t have a bad time in high school. In fact, I’d say it was pretty good overall. (I wouldn’t do it again, mind you.) But still, the shit you put up with from friends is just excessive, and also the shit you give friends–or at least the shit I gave my friends lol. It’s just so… ugh.

So, I mean, without knowing much more about the situation, I would confide in my good friends. Unless, for some reason that endangers you in some way. And yes, unlike some hardcore people, I do think social ostracization in high school is damaging. I don’t buy into the whole “Well, if they don’t like it fuck them, all you need is you!” cos that’s bullshit. You DO need friends in high school, even if they’re not perfect friends, even if you won’t stay friends with them in a few years. Having social support is incredibly important and to be alienated completely is lonely and leaves you vulnerable, and you miss out on stuff too. I mean, if your friends are complete total assholes, then by all means, drop them cos that won’t help and you may be better off alone, but if they’re only sort of annoying, well… That’s life, lol. Until you get out of the fishbowl of high school and people being to calm the fuck down about every tiny drama, there aren’t a lot of options. I found my best friends annoying af sometimes, and some of them had views on certain subjects that fucking pissed me off. But hey, at the end of the day, we still got along and had a bond, and worst came to worst almost all of them would be there for me, and me for them, despite some differences.

Are those the type of friends you have? Or do you think your friends would turn on you if you confided in them?

It’s so lonely to hold onto a secret like that, and constantly put up with what I’m sure they think is harmless teasing about boys. It can hurt you, and god, it’s fucking irritating on top of everything else. And, I hate to say this, but that sort of thing NEVER ENDS. It gets less and less, but I’m literally married to a woman for like 2 years now and a dude friend of ours just last week asked us if maybe we both just hadn’t found the right men yet. And on the subject of sex, he said, “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” to my wife. Interestingly, she is not a gold star and knows very well what hetsex is like (she fucking HATES it on every imaginable level), but she’s just never volunteered that information for public consumption. Still, as you can see, you’ll always have stupid imbecile friends who say stupid ass comphet shit to your face, even when you are blatantly a lesbian. Unfortunately, it one of those things you just have to… learn to deal with. I hate that we must.

I know that’s not exactly helpful or hopeful, but it’s reality. So these dumb friends of yours, maybe they’re not doing it to be hurtful or annoying, they just genuinely think you like boys. There’s only really one solution to get them to stop (and even that isn’t going to be a guarantee) and that’s to come out to them–only if you can. Tell them how it makes you feel. Share with them what you’ve said to me. It’s hard enough to exist as a lesbian right now, let alone having to hide and be shamed for it. Friends should get that. But all of them may not… 

I had one friend who was super open with her “sexuality” (she’s an attention whore, lbr.) who, when I told her finally that I think I wanted a girlfriend, she was super supportive. Then when the group of them were going to a gay club, I said I’ll tag along and she told me no. And her exact words: “You look too straight. Nobody will talk to you and I don’t want people to think I’m straight too.” (SHE IS STRAIGHT, just for the record. But she likes to steal girls’ boyfriends by doing threesomes, pretending to be into girls, threesomes, and poly, and then manipulating the boys into dumping their gfs. She also likes to breakup girlfriends just to prove she can. She has NEVER been in a relationship with a woman, only breaks lesbian couples up and then fucks off. She tried it with me and my girlfriend once. Nice friend. Just so we all know what she’s like.)

Note: These were my high school friends, and I was in my mid-20s at this point. We’d been friends for over a decade. And they still said shit like that. (And I mean, in some way, I get it cos when we’d go out to non-gay spots I’d get picked up by men CONSTANTLY, and women never looked at me that way. It was super aggravating.)

Which, it turns out, was her way of saying “You’re competition and I don’t want you around.” (and she’s obsessed with stereotypes), cos when I started going to gay clubs and parties with other friends who weren’t douchebags about it, NOBODY judged me like that. And I remember meeting my wife for the first time and telling her that story and she was just like “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! You do look super straight but I like you and I’m super gay”. And then she took me to a lesbian bar, and I didn’t change a thing about myself, and was picked up by all sorts of girls, and really hit it off with the cutest butch girl I’ve ever seen to this day. (It didn’t end up going anywhere but still, it was nice to learn that sometimes your friends are just insecure assholes.) It really is dependent on who they are, where you live, etc. etc. And those are only things you know. I can’t comment on what the best course of action is without knowing the nitty gritty.

SO, that’s a long way of saying, people suck. Even your friends sometimes. It’s going to be difficult for a while as you weed those sorts of people out of your life. Being an open lesbian is rocky, especially at first when everything is sorta all over the place. But it does settle down, and you make better friends. And since your parents are supportive that is a HUGE hurdle you don’t have to deal with, which is absolutely AMAZING :) It’s so nice to hear.

But if you’re not able to come out and get support IRL, that’s fine too. My advice is what you’ve already done :) Come online and reach out to older lesbians. They’re the ones with the experience. If it wasn’t for the older lesbians in my life (either online or IRL that I met, including my wife), I’d be so much more insecure. I would probably still be walking around feeling a lot of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, shyness, confusion, etc. 

But there’s something comforting about talking with women who have lived the same struggles, and hear about all the paths they all took and the ways they’ve dealt with specific issues. And they’re generally more calm, more realistic, and more compassionate than other baby dykes who aren’t in a privileged, secure position yet. Not that there is anything wrong with bonding with others of the same age. That is also INCREDIBLY important because those experiences will directly reflect your own, and there’s built-in support with peers. The things older lesbians have been through may not translate as well for you. A lot of us didn’t have the same pressures of social media, etc. But we also didn’t have the same online resources available either. So, it’s an interesting balance. I will say my friendship with my best friends from university (one is a lesbian too, one is straight as an arrow but a huge ally) are just as important cos age is a factor.

You can get insight from older women, but you need peer bonds too.

Online I think is very important nowadays, especially when you’re not able to go to spaces like gay clubs and bars yet. And surround yourself with positive lesbian representation. If that whole soft cottagecore thing does it for you, keep that in your orbit. But also never be ashamed or fearful of the sexual part of your sexuality. Just like it’s natural to romantically love women, it’s natural for lesbians to physically love them too. 

I feel like as toxic overall as tumblr is, there are corners of it that have been incredibly supportive and nurturing even to me. Especially lesbian positivity blogs and women’s arts, etc. Poetry written by lesbians is beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s a whole genre I had no idea existed, and that has given me a great deal of peace because I can finally relate to words. Music, written and performed by gay and bisexual women is the same. It may seem trivial or cheesy, but it’s powerful to hear about women like you in songs. I have to say Mary Lambert, for one example, helped so much. I remember listening to Alix Olson in secret too when I was much younger (maybe that should have been something of a hint to myself, lol.) King Princess and Girl In Red are current faves, Saara Aalto, Shura and Brandi Carlile are a constant faves I always love (not that I even knew that about Brandi’s sexuality til recently cos I apparently live under a fucking rock lol), but I have whole lists now and it’s wonderful to have taht access. 

When you’re all alone, seeking out lesbian musicians and writers can make so much difference in easing that isolation, and confusion, and fear. They speak to you and about us, as a whole. It’s affirming and less lonely.

Same goes for well-written fanfiction. Things that avoid the drama of fandom (cos there’s so much drama even when you have canon f/f pairings), because fandom is really just microcosms of society at large with all the same morons in it. But fanfic was such an escape where I could learn and explore all the things that most everywhere wouldn’t show me. TV shows touched on it (especially back 10 years ago there was like nothing), but fanfic made it real.

Even when you’re feeling secure, I think it still helps to have all the representation we can, and just… you know, revel in it.

Do not watch porn. Don’t. It’s awful and horrible and not at all realistic. A well-written fanfic by actual gay or bi women is way more helpful. Avoid porn at all costs. It will never teach you anything your body doesn’t already know about how to be with a woman (although I’m sure for you this isn’t a pressing concern at the moment). I just know that I made the mistake of it, and also stupid ass magazine/how to articles. Ignore ALL that junk. When you get a girlfriend there’s only ONE thing you need to know how to do, and that is communicate honestly. Everything else falls easily into place.

When you say it’s so weird to talk about it, I feel that. It took me YEARS to even really be able to comfortably say the word, especially in relation to myself. That feeling will pass. It’ll take time and don’t push yourself into any sort of thing you’re not ready for. You’ll feel weird about it probably, and that’s on society, not you. “Lesbian” still does have a stigma attached to it that a lot of people are afraid of or dismissive of. Just… try your best to tune that out. That’s all you can do. You’ll feel comfortable eventually. :) Give it time. You’re already doing well. The fact you can say it to me, even as anon, is beautiful.

You’ll be very open one day if that’s what you want and being a lesbian, and being seen as one, will be second nature. I mean if I think about myself at 20 and now, there’s a very big difference. I used to shy away from so many things, and dress particular ways to avoid things, now I’m definitely not giving nearly as many fucks. Also, I’ll say here that I own a bar. It’s not a gay bar, but almost every day we’re open, at least one lesbian couple will come in. And honestly my heart grows so big and warm every single time. (Gay men come in too, ofc.) But there’s something particularly ecstatic in me that I get to see that everyday. (I don’t actually have many gay friends at all.) I love the openness and acceptance and comfort. And I love telling people there that I own it with my wife, and see people’s faces light up. (Some don’t… but, meh, that’s real life too. I’ve had a few shitty fucking people come in too.) There are a lot more lesbians and bi girls around than we probably know. :)

You are not alone. Even if it’s only talking to people online, you’re never alone. 

And never get discouraged that other people seem to having an easier or better time at it. Everyone moves differently, and for some it is easier, some it’s way more difficult but that doesn’t mean you need to pressure yourself, or change. I took my way exceptionally slowly and awkwardly, but ya get there eventually if you surround yourself with genuine people.

It sounds cliche but it does get easier talking about yourself as a lesbian as long as you surround yourself with positive lesbian content/people, and it takes practice (sometimes a lot of it as I’ve learnt), especially dealing with internalized stuff. But you’ll get there. You’re still super young and you have so much ahead. :D

I don’t have specific personal advice about how to handle it all in high school cos I didn’t have to deal with that. Just that there’s a whole world outside high school, even though it may not feel that way sometimes. If you’re in a small town or in a country where it’s not accepted, you’ll have a harder time finding love but it is ALWAYS possible, somehow. Never feel like there is nobody at all. There is. There’s some cute, hot, smart, interesting girl somewhere that will be into you as much as you’re into her. It’s just a matter of time til you find each other. If nothing else, in the mean time, you can form friendships and bond with people online in various ways.

I wish somebody had told me in my teen years that it’s possible to be in love with a woman, that I’m going to kiss girls one day and suddenly everything else is going to make sense and feel right after so long of things not quite fitting together, that it’s just as possible to be fulfilled with a woman as it is with a man. I wish someone would have told me I’d be loved by a woman in ways that nothing else would ever match. That I’d touch women and feel at peace with myself, and being intimate with them will change my whole life, and it’s something I was meant to do and feel. That loving women will help me love myself in a way that I never realised, and that just goes back and forth forever cos if you love yourself, loving other people is so much easier. And not to fight that cos I’m too scared to face the not so nice parts about being out. Bad shit is gonna happen no matter what, but better stuff will make up for it. I wish someone had told me that “lesbian” isn’t a bad word (I grew up with a lot of homophobia everywhere, including my family), and that I will cringe when people call me that initially but that should force myself to use it at first, cos it’ll get way better and feel right the sooner that happens. It is what I am, and I can’t avoid it forever. Own it. Cos as soon as you do, the sooner they can’t use it against you the same way anymore. But nobody said any of that to me.

And never, ever let anybody ever guilt, shame, manipulate, or pressure you into anything you don’t feel is right for you or your body. You’ll feel it deep down what you want and need, and what you don’t want and don’t need. Don’t ignore that. Don’t let anybody talk, guilt, scare, or shame you out of that. It may be hard but you already seem very strong and self-aware.

You’re not thinking wrong, you’re not made wrong. There’s a lot of that around in our society and lesbophobia is very alive still, everywhere. 

You don’t need to find the “right man”. Ever. There’s no perfect high school boyfriend waiting for you if you’re a lesbian. There’s a girlfriend waiting for you. More than one, probably! You’ll love many women throughout your life and they’ll return it back to you. You’ll have friends that love you and support you. And when you say, “I’m a lesbian” it’ll roll off your tongue as easily as your name. Or your wife’s name. :) And you won’t feel any twinges of awkwardness or shame.

I wish you nothing but love and kindness, anon. Xx

And, also, anybody can ask me anything, btw. I generally really fucking suck with advice but my askbox is always here, if anybody needs it.

[lactosecarrotsoup]

My thoughts on Sean & Finn’s kiss

This will be long and of course contain spoilers, as if you can’t tell by the title... thingy. So, be warned. This will also contain my opinion(s); which is a very sensitive subject in this fandom. 

We’re all entitled to our own thoughts, opinions, beliefs, etc.

With that said, let’s get started!

For those who are new to this game... I will give you a short summery. Life is Strange is a video game series ran by DontNod. A great company who loves to make players cry. This season has new characters from the other season and DLC. This season takes place in Washington where you play as a 16 year old boy, Sean Diaz, who’s a regular teenager. He loves drawing, skating, and of course stereotypical teen stuff such as drugs and parties. Taking away the partying and drug usage, he’s your typical shy-ish guy. He also has a little brother named Daniel, he’s 9 years old.

Both of them are Hispanic, including their father (Esteban), making this season’s cast more diverse than the first season, where the main characters were mainly white.

Speaking of their father, he dies. Yep. After Sean forces Daniel out of his room, Daniel runs to their hot-headed neighbor and accidentally spills homemade zombie blood on him. Sean over see’s the neighbor about to hurt Daniel and rushes out the house, protecting him. After a few racial slurs/crude remarks to Daniel, Sean decides to fight him. Sean shoves the neighbor onto a small rock (which I still dont understand how that injured him), and he lays on the ground in shock/going unconscious.

A cop shows up and hell breaks loose. The cop only see’s the “blood” on the neighbors shirt and Daniels, thinking nothing but the worst of the situation rather than questioning them. The dad comes out, trying to reason with the officer and he gets trigger happy, shooting Sean & Daniel’s dad, killing him. Daniel screams in shock/anger/horror and Sean blacks out. Whenever he wakes up, the entire street is destroyed and more people are dead/unconscious. He grabs Daniel and they runaway, not wanting to get involved with the crime. It’s later found out that Daniel has powers (similar theme to LIS season 1) and can move objects with his mind.

More shit happens, yada yada yada.

NOW.

Episode 3 just released. In episode two, the brothers meet quite a few people. But most notably for this post, Cassidy and Finn. These two are regular friends (or maybe even “fuck buddies” as Finn and another girl described their relationship), who are a lot like Sean and Daniel. Cassidy left her old home life to live on the road. Finn, I can’t remember if he said anything or not. But I would think it would be for the same reason or something crime related.

Anyways, point is, they all group together and live in the woods. But, they all also work for this dude who runs a farm with nothing but pot.

Yep.

A nine year old and sixteen year old kid are working at a pot farm.

This leads to Finn, Cassidy, and Sean to get high, drunk, etc.

Finn get’s a hair up his ass and decides; “Hey, why don’t we steal all the cash from our boss? Who cares if he may know about Sean & Daniel’s backstory, has security footage evidence of them, and shotguns?!”

Cassidy is against this. But you, the player, have the option to accept or refuse his plan to rob the big dude with the cash.

And in the words of Chloe Price from season one; he’s got some “hella cash”

SORRY I HAD TOO.

But still, you can either rob from the guy or go against it. But HO HO HO! This choice doesn’t matter that much. Finn does it anyways (with a fUCKING NINE YEAR OLD HELPING HIM AND RISKING THAT KID’S LIFE) and Cassidy gets upset and worried. So, if you disagree with Cassidy, you end up meeting with them anyways so you can stop them. You get in trouble either way, btw.

But, let’s back it up.

If you agree to join Finn’s plan, he’s happy and you have the chance to romance him. Which, at first thought (including mine), was great! In the first season, Max was bisexual. You can flirt/romance with Chloe and/or Warren. With Sean romancing Cassidy and Finn, the developers made him bisexual.

But... it’s not all roses. Let me give you my first reaction. I do actually have it recorded.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJ8lg5clHM

2:29:55 - 2:34:24

If you don’t watch it, basically I was excited and shocked. I didn’t like Finn at first but in that moment, I shipped them. I wanted Sean to be happy and happy enough to open up about his sexuality, if he hadn’t already.

But, I realized something.

Finn is most likely 20+. Sean is still 16. This means Finn is an older guy kissing a minor, which is of course, illegal. Not to mention that earlier in that episode, he was teaching Daniel to throw knifes and such. He smokes and drinks and admits his sexual relationships in front of a kid, too.

Speaking of his sexual relationships, it would be highly toxic if Sean and him dated/had casual sexual intercourse. Just based on Sean’s personality and how he had a crush on that Jen girl in the first episode, and how close him and Cassidy warmed up to each-other, he wears his heart on his sleeve. One thing this season has done WONDERFULLY is not distribute toxic masculinity. Sean and Daniel have both cried several times. Most men don’t like to talk/show their feelings because they feel weak and such, which is horrible. No guy should feel that way and should openly express them-self.

Sean does this, which is amazing. Yet, still can harm him.

Right after you agree to Finn’s plan, you can kiss him. Throughout the episode, he also flirts with Sean. Of course you have the CHOICE to kiss him... but it’s only after you accept his agreement. You can kiss Cassidy (and sleep with her) but she will storm off, angry, without kissing you, if you agree to Finn’s plan. Which is reasonable. Or, you can lie to her, saying you thought his plan was dumb, and she’ll kiss you. Both reasonable (in my opinion) responses to each situations.

But, how come you can’t kiss Finn regardless? Sean can say no and they could still talk about their feelings, leading to a kiss. Instead, they do nothing.

Finn is manipulative. He used Sean’s emotions to get to him. He probably noticed how close him and Cassidy were and how much love he has for Daniel, openly saying it every now and then, and wanting to protect him. Finn noticed how open Sean is and took advantage. 

Imagine if this wasn’t a choice base game and the story automatically follows Sean agreeing with Finn.

He flirts with him throughout the episode and is very charismatic. Since Daniel notices how close Sean and Cassidy are getting, he rants to Finn. Finn takes in this information and uses it against them. He becomes “cool” in Daniel’s eyes by being super chill, rebellious, and showing him how to violently protect himself/hurt others. In a sense, he becomes Daniel’s temporary older and “cooler” brother, making Daniel look up to him. With Finn’s flirting, he admits (once again, if your choices didn’t matter) that he has feelings for some guys.

Finn takes note of this.

The idea pops into his head to steal from the man who runs the pot farm... thing. I’m an innocent bean who hasn’t done anything harder than prescribed drugs for anxiety and stuff. So forgive me if I’m getting these terms wrong, LOL! But, the point still remains, he tells Daniel who is automatically on board. I doubt a 9 year old boy truly cares if they have enough money or not. I bet his main thought was “If I do this, then Finn will think I’m cool! He’ll treat me like an adult and so will others.”

In fact, I bet you that was his exact thoughts, just based on what he said to Sean and how he acted towards others.

If you really look at it, guys... it looks similar to a Mark Jefferson/Nathan Prescott relationship in season 1. I’m not going to go into many details for the people who haven’t played/watched season 1 yet, but I’ll give you guys a basic rundown by what I mean.

Nathan was mentally ill. He suffered from possibly multiple disorders and had an abusive father. His father wanted him to be the best of the best, not for his sake, but for the families sake. This got to Nathan and he hated his father. Mark Jefferson was a teacher who noticed this, befriending Nathan, and becoming a fatherly figure. The two teamed up to do sickening plans and crimes together which ended up getting them caught in the end.

Now, who does that sound like?

Daniel just lost his father and he’s angry. He probably has PTSD and anger management issues, based on how he’s acting and the situations he’s been through. Finn is an older figure and tricks Daniel to follow his plans and crime, as they’re stealing. They end up getting caught by the boss no matter what they, Sean, Cassidy, or the player does.

Sean is in the same boat, minus the anger issues. He probably suffers more from depression and PTSD (since he talks about the past a lot to others and how they know their story). Since he does talk about his feelings, Finn uses to his advantage.

When Sean agrees to the heist, Finn and him (can) kiss as an award. An award for falling into his trap and doing whatever he wanted.

Nathan got fatherly love and praise from Jefferson, resulting in him to continue their disgusting plans in order to feel loved.

Sean (and Daniel) and becoming the Nathan of this season.

We have to watch out who will be our jefferson.

I also have to address another elephant in the room.

We’re the reason this happened.

If you go through old DontNod/Life is Strange official posts (I suggest instagram or facebook, where i saw mine), I saw nothing but comments saying how much they want Chloe and Max back. I assume this is because of how you can romance Chloe. They want their love story/friendship to continue. Even though we did get a comic series based on them, it wasn’t good enough.

DontNod probably got sick of it and forced this to happen. While they were probably writing Cassidy as a love interest in the beginning, and Finn as probably just a random stranger or a brother of hers, the noticed all the hate and said “fuck it!”

As a result, we got the chance to kiss Finn... before you could write him off by injuring or killing him. Which, many people were pissed about.

But if you REALLY think about it, we were the cause of that. They probably didn’t want that, wanting to focus on Cassidy and the actual story. But many people wanted LGBTQ+ moments (which is understandable) but didn’t want Sean and Daniel’s story. Or they did get involved in their story but wanted a LGBTQ+ character.

The story of Life is Strange (both seasons + DLC) is nothing more but teens/young adults finding themselves through very difficult times. This with the responsibility of super powers, which are hurting those around them. It’s not meant to be a romance. It’s meant to be a drama, sci-fi, and angst story. (And thriller bc of Max’s nightmare bc that shit scared me)

While yes, I was happy and excited at first about Sean & Finn kissing. I was happy that there was potential for things to be “normal” and Sean to be happy, there was a lot of red flags. The age differences, the manipulation, the parallel's, and how forced it was.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk! Before you leave a hateful response, please know my opinion is valid like yours and others. Not only that, but I’m not the first to point some of this out. :)

[harrynightingales]

i wrote a whole bit on the ~discourse that was immediately banished to my drafts but now i have something else i want to talk about, mainly ~the list~ and the constant question of, if top!joe isn’t inherently problematic, what is the point of collecting and publishing the data?

many people have rightly pointed out that collecting data about who tops and bottoms (the methodology of which was clearly laid out so that readers could assess it for themselves) is simplistic and doesn’t take into account the other concepts we’ve been talking about since almost day 1 - namely, the tendency for joe to be written in a way that feeds into orientalist tropes and stereotypes about MENA men. again, no one on this “side” disagrees with the statement that there is nothing wrong inherently wrong with writing joe topping, or as a dom, or being masculine or violent - that can be done in a way that still treats him with respect and isn’t reductive! 

so then people argue that the top/bottom data is meaningless, and they demand to know whether the conclusion is to “fill the gap” and write bottom!joe. these people are not satisfied with the non yes-or-no answer of “maybe” “not necessarily” or “i don’t know” 

the way i see it is this: the top/bottom data is not conclusive. its not meant to be! the conclusion has never been “more top!joe than top!nicky” --> fandom is racist”. pointing out TRENDS is a way for us to step back, think about thought processes, challenge them in ourselves and in the content we consume in the context of information about harmful stereotypes and tropes that others have kindly provided background on over and over.

an analogy: let’s say we’re looking at data about representation of gay men in TV in a given year. we're going to track how many of those characters fit the trope of being your stereotypical effeminate gay man (think kurt from glee). this is a subjective category but let’s assume we come up with some standardized method to decide. say we find out that 75% of characters fit this trope. is that an inherently bad thing? well, going backwards, a gay man being effeminate is not a bad thing! there are plenty of gay men who fit that category and that is them being authentic and being their best selves, awesome. that being said, it doesn’t reflect all gay men, and there is an unfortunate history of gay men being stereotyped, where that effeminate gay man is also rude, unfaithful, aggressively forward with straight men, etc. once again, the existence of the harmful stereotype doesn’t negate the existence of validity of an effeminate gay man in real life! but we have to consider that in media, these things can very easily get tied up together. so back to our original question: are our findings bad? is this something we have to change? maybe, maybe not! its a starting point for us to look deeper, to look at the quality of the writing, to see if these characters are being written fully-dimensionally, to look at the writers room to see who is reflected there. and even if all those characters are being written wonderfully, the reality is that that one experience of being a gay man is not reflective of the population, and so, without claiming there is something “wrong” with writing effeminate gay men, there may be encouragement for writers to have more variety within their characters.

and to be clear, this is looking at it from one direction. the opposite could be just as harmful! if all our gay men in media are basically carbon copies of the straight men except they happen to kiss dudes, that can also be reductive and not representative of actual gay men. if that is what our findings showed us, that would ALSO spark a conversation for what those trends mean, where they are coming from, and how to move forward productively.

people have said that top!nicky can also be harmful and feed into stereotypes - absolutely! if we did this top/bottom data and found that consistently there was more top!nicky than top!joe, it would start another conversation about trends, where we could critically reflect on the tropes we are seeing in fandom content and if they are feeding into anything hurtful. 

as an aside, this is why the argument of “make a bottom!joe discord! run bottom!joe events!” doesn’t make sense to me. the call to action has never been “write fics in a way that we have a perfect 50/50 split all the time” because that is frankly impossible! i have never identified as a “bottom!joe” or “top!nicky” fan and i think there are very few people who do. from what i have seen, people making similar arguments to mine are interested in joe/nicky as a BALANCED, healthy, loving relationship with an incredibly wide variety of sexual dynamics they could play into to reflect their 900+ year history (i.e. they’re the switchiest switches to ever switch). somehow demanding more top!nicky content is not at all the point.

from the very beginning of this ~discourse, the point has ALWAYS been about being mindful and thoughtful about how fandom content can feed into harmful  stereotypes and tropes, with top and bottom as a shorthand because, unfortunately, those concepts can never be fully separated. my previous long-ass rant hiding in my drafts is specifically related to this idea of “people who prefer seeing content in which joe tops” vs. top!joe only fans. the sparknotes version of that one is that, from my experience reading fic and seeing posts from self-identified “top!joes” and the discord, there is a lot of overlap between that identifier and content that focuses significantly on joe being masculine, aggressive, dominant. again, those traits in and of themselves are not problematic and you can write a joe who is all of those things and not be harmful. but when you reduce his character to only those things and/or simultaneously consistently feminize nicky, overexaggerating their physical differences and arguing until the cows come home that nicky is smaller, weaker, and less physically competent, that’s a problem. that doesn’t even begin to touch the constant power-imbalance fics i see coming from self-identified “top!joe” fans including age difference and slavery-related fic/content. i personally have never been in the discord and never intend to, so i may have a flawed understanding. again, i have a whole other post about this topic specifically but i don’t want to start shit. 

that being said, circling back to the data: when we had these early conversations is july/august, with folks saying the exact same things (being mindful of trends and how top/bottom “preference” can potentially tie into more harmful tropes) the concept of the self-identified top!joe arose, and the discord was created because apparently there was “too much” top!nicky content in response to fandom-wide discussions and the fans who enjoyed consuming content where joe tops needed their own space. on a most basic level, this data shows that that was not the case. if nothing else, it has value to me for that by simply tallying what otherwise is a gut instinct about what kind of content is out there, which the brain can notoriously misrepresent. 

[siryouarebeingmocked]

>Hello, but men BENIFIT from lower parenting standards. Men are allowed to fully pursue their careers and their dreams after having children. Women have doors slamming in their faces.

I want you to explicitly say "men are generally considered lesser parents compared to women" or "I disagree with your belief that men are generally considered lesser parents compared to women, and here's why I disagree" before we go on.

Because it seems like you're deliberately ignoring the core belief that the lower standards for men actually come from. Which was my central point. I specifically included one of the comic pages that makes the comparison directly.

>Here’s some reading material on the parenting gap and how it hurts women. How are the men here suffering exactly?

Off the top of my head, women are more likely to win primary custody in a divorce, even when the father contests custody.

The Forbes OP ed literally says "men lose out on feeling accepted as caregivers" and links to another article by the exact same author about sexism - whoops - stereotypes against men. (Because "sexism" is just something that happens to women, I assume. )

The writer of the article you linked still says men can be limited and disadvantaged by gender roles, like being seen as lesser parents. Including in the article.

I also like how the opening study of the original oped is literally just an opinion poll about what people think happens to moms. That doesn't prove much about the reality of the situation.

The medium article is by Jessica Valenti. A longtime feminist, and one infamous for this;

I think it's safe to say she's a tad biased against men. Especially when she's written an article defending misandry. In short, there are few feminists who you could've chosen who would make me more inclined to immediately disregard their opinion.

But I won't.

Raising a kid is a big time investment, even for couples. Claiming it's just from a lack of men doing their "fair share" - when single motherhood is increasingly common - seems remarkably traditionalist for a feminist.

She also assumes that fathers and mothers aren't agreeing ahead of time who spends more time with kids. And assumes the 'invisible work' of parenting applies solely to women, and doesn't consider how much time the father may be spending on things like home maintenance, which is men's traditional role. Maybe the dad's doing some invisible parenting work of his own.

The elephant in the room is that mothers are more likely to take time off work than fathers, partially because moms are the one getting pregnant. And even after she has the kid, she's still more likely to become a stay at home parent. Women are also more likely to prioritize family over career than men.

This has to have an influence on how people treat women in their career. If a woman becomes pregnant and plans to keep it, no sensible employer is going to give her more responsibility when she's going to take a few months off.

It's hilarious how feminism has gone from "sisters are doin' it for themselves" to "why aren't the men helping?"

The American Progress article keeps getting caught by my site filter, and I can't be arsed to find a proxy. But I'm familiar with the publication, and frankly it's a leftist rag. As the name would indicate.

As for the military, why don’t we see y’all MRAs talking about THESE inequalities? I can play this game too.Sexual assault in the military-

I'm not an MRA, and I've seen MRAs talk about rape in the military a lot. Specifically, how the majority of sexual assault reports in the military are from men, yet society still ignores them and focuses on the women.

Of course, MRAs have little reason to complain about rape against women as part of their advocacy, unless doing so benefits men's rights.

By contrast, feminists love to complain about women being seen as lesser, but rarely do so when it provides women with an advantage. Feminists will complain about the idea that men should protect women, but they don't care much about the actual guy risking his life to protect women, even when discussing 'toxic masculinity'.

In fact, feminists love to demand protection and support from men. You yourself linked to articles doing precisely that.

Feminists - like society in general - treat rape and sexual assault as a male-on-female crime, with rare exceptions. Which is bad for any group of victims who doesn't fit that mold. And good for the perps. Even when mainstream feminists discuss male victims, they take pains to emphasize how the perps are almost always men.

And when someone scares up evidence to the contrary (EG the CDC's NISVS 2010 and the "Made to Penetrate" stats, where men said they were MTP'd by women 20% of the time), many feminists will rush to buttress the Narrative, even to the extent of ignoring the CDC's sexist definition of "rape".

(EDIT: Correction; 80% of the time. Assuming the lifetime relative numbers were accurate, that meant women were at least 16% of total rapists.)

I already said that a situation that's overall worse can still have benefits in some areas. And I said women's lower standards were sexism against women.

Also, "NO U" is not a counterargument.

>Unequal health care in the military-

Are you actually planning to address whether women's lower qualification standards are a privilege or not? Or are you just trying to score points with "look, women have problems in the military, so they can't be privileged in any way, because I'm a binary thinker!!"

Because as I pointed out, the standards were lowered specifically to benefit women and women alone. That's a privilege in that specific context.

My beliefs are consistent. It's all about that 'nuance' stuff.

This is insane. If women aren’t passing this test about what you need to do to be physically fit, then so fucking be it. The battlefield won’t lower its standards, so neither should we.

[valamerys]

I really enjoy your blog so is it okay if I ask you top 10 pet peeves in novels? It can be tropes or even a niche moment in a particular book. I like writing myself and would appreciate the help.

hmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM sure, I can come up with some things! bear in mind I read almost exclusively fantasy, and mostly “low” ie not game of thrones fantasy at that, including a loooot of YA, so my items will reflect that.

Top (YA, Fantasy) Fiction Pet Peeves:

1) Unnecessary post-apocalyptic setting  WHY THE FUCK. DO PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS. WHAT DOES THIS GAIN ANYONE. WHAT IS THE POINT. Red Queen, The Selection, The Queen of the Tearling, and that weird TV show The Shanarananaharahahananaaa Chronicles all do this. It’s, frankly, a cheap-ass bid for Dark and Gritty points, and also an excuse to set things in America But Fantasy, and it’s always bad and awkward. This isn’t planet of the apes, just make your damn fantasy world; you don’t have to try to make it more ~realistic~ by putting the ruins of the statue of liberty in the background. That’s stupid and you’re stupid.

2) One-note characters  Mostly present via The Bitch or The Bully stereotype, but also seen in The Bratty Brother, The Sweet Sister, The Spacey DGAF Parent, and the Eccentric Wise Elder. I get that there’s not time to flesh out every single person your protagonist comes into contact with, but certain archetypes are so fucking boring and done to death that I tune out immediately. It’s not 2004 anymore. The game has evolved. We can do better. We can be more interesting.

Related to the sweet sister trope, I’d like to bring up this text post from my other blog:

3) When the protagonists’ actions/ choices do not affect the plot  Alright, this one isn’t even a pet peeve, it’s basic narrative construction. Your story is supposed to be about your protagonist (or your two or three protagonists, in a multi-pov story, but for simplicity’s sake we’ll talk about one) and their arc, how they change and grow. a) If their actions never have consequences, how the fuck do they, like, learn things? and b) if their actions have no bearing on the climax of the story, how the fuck does the story demonstrate that they’ve changed, or come to a meaningful conclusion that’s related to that? Sure there’s weird literary exceptions, and certainly some fantasy in particular is more plot than character driven, but if your character is honestly never proactive, particularly through the ending of the book, uh, i have a major problem and so should you.

4) The Mandatory Feminism Stuff  we should all know these by now. “Not Like Other Girls” is bad. Hating on corsets and other femme paraphernalia is bad (and moreover i personally resent it because I love corsets). A book with a female protagonist and no other important female characters (or only evil female characters) is bad. A high fantasy series that builds its worldbuilding on a raging patriarchy for the purpose of elevating a few specific women into positions of power for superficial RAH RAH FEMINISM points while not addressing systematic oppression is really, really bad. Defining female empowerment as only one thing (IE picking up a sword and Proving Yourself just as badass as all those scoffing men!!!) is bad. I’m very tired and I want to read about women-- different kinds of women, with different moral alignments and interests and abilities and ethnic backgrounds and ages and sexualities and beliefs-- helping each other and being forces in the world and in each others’ lives. That’s it. That’s all I want. I have no clue why that’s so elusive.

5) Characters being flippant to the point of stupidity because........ that’s cool, i guess?  Homygod, I am so sick to my teeth of characters who would get their asses kicked IRL for being obnoxious and overly glib be appraised with “wow, you’ve really got some nerve! I like you, kid!” or some variation therof. Mouthing off to superiors/ royalty? Charging into a fight on a stray heroic impulse despite everyone with a brain and their mom telling you you’re going to die because you just picked up swordfighting on tuesday? flagrantly and thoughtlessly disregarding engrained cultural things because they don’t align with your conveniently 2017 sense of social justice despite you living in an analogue-medieval world? Not cute. It will get you fucking killed. If your character doesn’t seem to grasp that, I’m going to think they’re a dumbshit, and if the book rewards rather than punishes that, I’m not going to take it very seriously. (obviously there are exceptions to this, particularly if your world doesn’t take itself very seriously, but if you expect to instill a real sense of danger in day-to-day life, your protagonist doesn’t get to be exempt from that because they’re hot and witty.)

6) Also, characters being stubborn. This goes with my last point, because it’s another trait people seem to think is like cool, or something? That stubborn people are stubborn because they’re Strong? that it’s a flaw but it’s actually a Cool Flaw, like in job interviews when they ask your weakness and you say “i’m just TOO hard of a worker, ha ha ha”? U see this a lot in female characters written by people who are uncomfortable writing female characters, i think because, again, it mistakenly reads as Strength on some really superficial level, and because the banter and petty conflict that arises from it temporarily distracts from weak overall characterization. If you’re going to write a character being stubborn, that’s great! But understand that a) it’s a real flaw that can genuinely blind them to good ideas and cause unnecessary friction that shouldn’t be treated as endearing, b) it’s not a replacement for other elements of characterization!! and c) it’s the flipside of being assertive, which is a good thing: no trait is only a flaw or a strength, and so any trait a character possess in abundance should both help and hinder them at different times, with maturity level tempering the bad, to a degree. stubbornness is no different.

7) Sexual assault (or the threat of it) all over the fucking place. Do i have to explain this one? Of course ownvoices books about sexual assault survivors are good and necessary but we are all sick to death of "fun” fantasy worlds where the female characters exist under the constant and unending threat of rape, where sexual assault is common as window dressing and the love interests are Super Special Feminist Snowflakes for being so revolutionary as to take consent into account. fuck that. that should be the bare fucking minimum. i am so tired.

8) The Six-Pack Sex Appeal Golem  Honestly, I am not here to hate on love triangles, because I am ALL ABOUT the romance and the more the merrier. But what i do really, really loathe is the incredibly narrow parameters that have come to exist for male love interests, to the point where they all tend to feel like the same guy in need of anger management: a little broody, smart, serious, jealous and protective to a fault, if we get his POV we get real creepy sexual thoughts out of nowhere while he acts vaguely standoffish and probably a little patronizing to a woman whose Attitude gives him a boner. This man does not experience emotions that can’t be interpreted as darkly sexual, or possibly A Little Bit Vulnerable, just for that one scene of mandatory backstory reveal. I recently reviewed a real bad romance novel and described the hero as “a barely-consistent golem of toxic masculine ideals” and that’s what I’m talking about here. MAKE YOUR LOVE INTERESTS WELL-ROUNDED AND UNIQUE CHARACTERS LIKE ALL YOUR OTHER CHARACTERS. Forget what’s “sexy,” I wanna see the male love interests be Soft and Weird and cry in an unattractive way. For further reading/ a great case study of the Masculine Golem, please just read this article about how abysmal the romance in ROAR is. (For what it’s worth, I actually think SJM manages to avoid this in the ACOTAR series. Rhys and Tamlin suck but they are still mostly consistent characters, not just shells inhabited by the spirit of heterosexuality. your mileage may vary, though.)

9) Secret Superpower/ She Was The Missing Princess/ Queen All Along  I think this is a trend that’s slowly but surely passing from YA, but for a while you couldn’t throw a rock in a bookstore without hitting a trilogy where a long-lost missing princess was established in chapter 1 and you spent the whole fucking first book knowing the orphaned heroine with a murky past was gonna turn out to be the princess and you were always right. Queens are also a huge fucking thing right now, although they don’t tend to follow that exact formula. See also the character’s discovery of a superpower catapulting them into a new exciting life-- basically any discovery of a Cool Sexy birthright as a catalyst for a plot is kind of played out and boring, at this point in time? This ties into my earlier point about wanting characters’ choices to shape the plot; it’s so much easier to have them reacting to external forces, especially dramatic, aesthetic ones, i get that, but you’ll get a more original and interesting story the more you resist that urge. And everyone is fucking tired of secret princesses and can spot them a mile away, y’all.

10) OMG magic is outlawed!!! BUT WAIT THE PROTAGONIST HAS SECRET MAGIC! CAN SHE RISE ABOVE PERSECUTION AND HER PROBABLE ROMANCE WITH THE PRINCE OF THIS POORLY-THOUGHT-OUT TOTALITARIAN REGIME TO LEAD ALL MAGIC-HAVERS TO FREEDOM AND ACCEPTANCE???? If you do this i’m going to come to your house and pour a cup of soda on your head. This is dumb and I can’t believe I’ve seen it multiple times. I’m not even explaining this it should be obvious.

Honorable mentions go to: Excessive mentions/ descriptions of eye color, really tired ways of describing kissing, elemental magic is super fucking overdone, instalove, and Training Montages

[old-aout-save]

Reidentified woman

Frequently asked question that I will leave the very long response to here, “How did you go from being deeply entrenched in gender ideology and mainstream transactivism to being what many would call a terf?’

Here’s my first draft, not super coherent but I’ll probably edit it down at some point: You may notice it getting less coherent as it goes on lol

Basically a lot of stuff just didn’t add up and I couldn’t maintain that level of cognitive dissonance.

Sexuality: –If sexuality is about an inner sense of “gender” and not what sex people are, how and why have homosexual relationships have been and are still persecuted? –Doesn’t it make everyone bisexual? If everybody can be attracted to anyone who looks like anything as long as they “identify” as the “gender” they are attracted to, what even defines sexuality? How can you be attracted to a gender? As in, what’s the difference between a male who calls himself a man and a male who calls himself a woman who both look the same that would supposedly cause a lesbian to be attracted to the later but not the former? –Is it possible for a woman to be only attracted to vulva? To be not attracted to any dick ever? Surely it has to be possible, claiming it’s not possible sounds exactly like forcing women to like dick, denying their own attractions and how they know themselves. Claiming everyone must like dick. That’s fucked up! And that’s what happens when sexuality is about “gender” instead of sex. Sexuality being about sex just makes sense, it makes the categories of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual have actual meanings –What rights do a male and female in a relationship lose if the female identifies as a man? They are still legally allowed to have sex, get married, and be together in public, all the privileges that come with a heterosexual relationship. Is it not wrong to claim that that relationship is homosexual? Doesn’t it make a cruel joke out of the actual gay experience? –It just kept sounding like sick conversation therapy to hear gay people called horrible names and bigots for saying that they are only attracted to the same sex. Especially those posts about how gay people can “learn” how to love/enjoy sex with a trans partner Sexism –No one could provide a solid explanation for why it’s alright for a male to claim to be female but bad for a white person to claim to be black –No one could provide a solid definition of woman. If anyone who “feels” like a woman is a woman, what does it feel like to be a woman? Do little girls forced into marriage and fgm all “feel” like girls? Do the women who experience acid attacks and sex trafficking “feel” like women? How is it not sexist for men to say “I always liked playing with barbie and I want to have long hair and wear makeup, therefore I must be a woman” or worse “I’m quiet and prefer doing my nails to sports so I must be a woman” They are taking stereotypes and making them the definition of woman. –I realized, there are as many different ways to be, look like, have interests, act, feel, dress like, a woman as there are adult human females on this earth. The only thing you can say all women have in common, is being born female, otherwise it’s just sexist. –Socialization is a thoroughly studied subject. Trans identified males still commit crimes at the same rate as other males, not at the same rate as women. If there is one way to “act like a man” science says so far the way to do that is to be violent, and transwomen fit the bill. Basically no scientific reason that having dysphoria actually makes someone the opposite “gender” or sex. –Following the last point, I kept seeing information on women’s spaces being taken away. If transwomen were “women” theres still plenty of evidence that being female-bodied is an axis of oppression. And yet, any female only spaces are continuing to be taken away, they don’t care about female oppression and deny it even exists. Transwomen wanting access to female-only spaces just displays their male entitlement even more, goes to show they aren’t women. –For example, bathrooms, prisons, sports. Women fought for these spaces and now men are invading them, and we can objectively see it’s causing harm and danger to women and girls. Even if transwomen were women, they would still have male socialization, and be literally physically male, and that would still make them dangerous to women. –The way transwomen sexual predators are treated. They are treated like victims as well, people defend using women pronouns for them and criticize you for not doing the same before they criticize the transwoman. They are still famous. Or, people claim that those weren’t “real” trasnwomen. Which makes me think, how do you tell the difference? How do you tell who to let into the bathroom then? And really, no true scotsman fallacy. –The way they claim an inverted penis is the same as a vagina. It shows a deep carelessness for the true nature of female biology, what it’s meant for. It shows they think of vaginas as just sockets to have sex with and nothing more.

The way Dysphoria is treated –The checklists to take to see if someone is trans are the exact criteria you could use to tell if someone is gay or will grow up to be gay –Statistics show that children who are very nonconforming and uncomfortable in puberty will most likely grow up to be gay. Transing these kids seems like a way to make them straight, like how gay people are forced to transition in Iran. –In the community any questioning of one’s “gender” is met with You’re Trans. This doesn’t account for the fact that gender roles is what’s used to oppress women, to make them weak, small, submissive, restricted. Of course women are uncomfortable with their gender! Also consider that all sex characteristics of women are plastered all over the place in ads, movies, music videos, extremely sexualized, degraded, objectified, ogled by everyone. So of course women develop in puberty and then feel like they Don’t Want that, they don’t want to be a walking object! Breasts for many women are a cage, a sign that you are for male consumption, it’s hard to be reminded of being a woman in this society. But transactivism doesn’t care about that. If you question the norm, you’re actually a man. –The community is full of ways to get transition materials Fast without questioning the other reasons for dysphoria and without trying other methods of  recovering from dysphoria. They say, if you have dysphoria you must be trans. No one says, talk therapy can help you recover from dysphoria the same way it could help you recover from anorexia. Just change yourself! –By getting materials Fast I mean, access to binders, hrt, and surgeries. They tell 14 year olds how to buy binders and encourage them to do it without encouraging them to talk to older butch women, older dysphoric women, detransitioned women, anybody. They don’t talk about how even binding “safely” can still cause permanent damage, about how optimally a person should be able to love their body just the way it is. They talk about how to get hrt without even having to see a therapist, about how young it’s possible to get hrt. How young it’s possible to get a mastectomy. While you’re young do it now as soon as you can never talk to a therapist go for it! –How detransitioned people are treated as never having been trans, as never having been truly dysphoric, as people who are trying to trick you and deceive you into denying your true trans nature, as people who are denying their true trans identity in the same way that christian homosexuals are denying their homosexuality. They act like saying therapy should be the first option is the same as trying to “pray the gay away”. –Hrt and surgery is treated as glamorous and the details are hidden. Just take “top surgery” and “bottom surgery” for example. Never “mastectomy” or “colo-vaginoplasty”. Experiences in my life that added to what I saw in the news –I was identifying as a “gay trans man” for a while. I have/had dysphoria and have been dating a man. What basically never made sense to me was that we could go out in public, get married, etc and never face any discrimination. So what makes our relationship gay? Furthermore,  homophobes I met were perfectly fine with us dating. Even after they found out I identified as a man, they didn’t care that we were dating or see it as a sin, they just hoped I’d learn to accept myself one day. What they care about though? That my boyfriend is bisexual. Because Same Sex Attraction is what makes someone gay or bi, it’s what homophobic people hate. They were against my boyfriend’s same sex attraction, not his supposed same “gender” attraction. –A transman in a support group I went to would complain that people don’t see her (heterosexual) relationship as gay! imagine that, complaining that people view you as a straight couple, a safe, socially accepted, straight couple. –I saw a gender therapist and basically said I hate my breasts and enjoy being referred to and seen as a man, and she was like “that’s valid” and told me where I could get hrt. I could have even gotten hrt without having to see a gender therapist, as an 18 yer old! That was 11 months ago, and look how much as changed. If I had decided to take hrt, I would have regretted it so soon, simply because I have since been given actual information on the topic. 18 is really not old enough to make that decision, especially when the trans community has so much thought control and discourages questioning. I needed a therapist who could talk to me about the pain of being a woman in this society, about Why I want to be a man and not just accept “I feel like it” as an answer. In summation, so many questions I had but nobody could answer or would just call me a terf for even asking, so much blatant sexism and homophobia. It just didn’t add up.

[ageeksnerdyworld]

Life of the Party

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, College Professor, Random College Students

Word Count: 3,340

Trigger Warning: Swearing. Drinking. Violence. Blood/Blood Mention. Party Scene. Fight Scenes. (Well, kinda sorta on those last two...)

A/N: Continuing with that AU of college-age Damian. This one takes place before to the first one while Damian is freshman. I’m not really working with any sort of chronical ordered plot with this AU. Just writing one-shots from the random ideas that pop into my head. In hindsight this probably could’ve worked better with a different villain but I digress. Also, I apologize in advance for the messed up tenses; I’ve never been good at keeping them the same. English translations are at the very bottom.

Summary: While attending his first semester at Yale University Damian leaves class, one day, after a long and rather pointless lecture. But, as he leaves, he accidently runs into another student. After talking to each other for a while the other student seems to take a liking to Damian. But Damian is very suspicious of his new colleague. Then the young man invites Damian to the only thing life never trained him for; a college frat party.

XXXXX

He sat in the very back row of the lecture hall. Usually he would sit in one of the front rows, but, today another student sat in his seat. It wasn’t his seat necessarily since they did not have assigned seating but it was definitely his seat. He had sat in the same exact spot from the very beginning of the semester.

He swears muttering under his breath; “.وخزة. الكل”

He stares at the back of the redhead man’s head; mentally burning a hole in the guy’s curly head of hair. He didn’t know the guy’s name but he knew several things about him from just a half of a semester of sharing a classroom. Last name was Janus, thought he was the center of the universe and he had the bad habit of chewing on his pen caps. Above all he knew that he hated the man and found him rather annoying. Despite all of this there was still something familiar about the young man but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“And that’s a wrap for today, folks,” the professor said.

He let out a sigh of relief and packed up his books. As he walked out of the lecture hall he made two-second eye contact with his English professor. The professor was a rather elderly man with wispy white hair, faded blue eyes and a wrinkled face. The man was definitely senile and would go off on tangents in the middle of his lectures. He made it his personal mission to get the man fired, but, tenured professors don’t get fired for anything less than sexual assault. And there was no way in hell that he would do what was required to accuse the man of such an act. So he had to continue suffering until the semester ended.

Lost in thought he mindlessly walks out the door, and into the hall, and runs straight into the redhead.

“Colin, I…”

Damian’s apology stopped short when the redhead turned around with a shocked look on his face. His skin was somewhat pale and his face was thin. Not the thin chiseled look but the complete opposite; an almost a sickly thin. Eyes were the color of the sea on a stormy night; an unnerving dark blue. A few curls fell onto his forehead and he brushed them off with a hand. With that sweeping motion Damian noticed that the roots of Janus’, seemingly ginger, hair were actually a very dark black.

“My name isn’t Colin.”

اللغة

Realizing his mistake he apologizes for the mix-up. Explains that he thought the man in front of him was someone else he knew. Then remembering his manners he extends a hand and introduces himself.

“Deepest apologies for running into you; I was distracted. Damian Wayne.”

“The name’s Janus. Jude Janus,” the fake redhead says as he shakes the offered hand. After letting go the two young men begin to walk together and smack talk their professors. Soon they decide to make their way to the dining hall for a quick bite to eat. Jude spoke with that stereotypical douche bag rich guy voice at first, but, as soon as they were alone he dropped the inflection.

“You can drop your act, too,” he says with a knowing smile.

Damian shoots him a confused look; “I do not understand what you mean. I am not acting.”

Jude raises an eyebrow; “But, the way you’re talking? It’s like you’re a fucking book or something. That can’t be how you really talk; it has to be a front.”

“English is not my first language.”

“Oh, I see. That makes sense. ... You’re really a Wayne, then, huh?"

“Of course I am,” Damian says with a scoff.

Jude explained that he was the heir to a cosmetics company that his great-grandfather started in World War II; or something like that. He wasn’t interested in family history enough to get the full story. His interests were more along the lines of lacrosse, girls and good times. When they reached the dining hall they entered together and sat at the same table after getting their food.

As they eat Jude asks Damian to tell him all about life as a Wayne. But Damian was a lot smarter than that so he changed the conversation to the number one thing on Jude’s list of interests. Specifically about the first time he played the game. His dark eyes light up with excitement and he begins a very long tangent of his first time.

Halfway through their conversation Jude invites Damian to a party.

Something isn’t right here, he thinks. Something isn’t right at all.

But, instead of politely denying his new acquaintance’s request, he smiles and agrees to attend.

XXXX

He didn’t know what to do. Jude invited him to a party at his fraternity house later that night. Sigma Alpha Epsilon was in hot water after recent events when a student claimed the fraternity declined entrance to black women. Everything surrounding the fraternity was surrounding that tidbit of news. But that was the least of Damian’s problems.

He sends a text to the first person whose name popped into his head and he hoped that they would actually help him out.

Whaddya need Half-Pint?

An acquaintance invited me to a party at his fraternity.

Oh? You met someone? Is he tall, dark and handsome? The man of your dreams? Also for future reference, Short Stop, they're called frats.

This is serious, Todd! And besides you know that I do not like people in that way.

Jeez, learn how to take a joke.

But, I seriously believe that he may have ulterior motives.

Treat the party like any other mission, then, McNuggets.

How many times do I have to tell you to stop mocking my height?

Well, you’re wasting your time and mine, Munchkin-Man, cos I ain’t stopping.

!الأم لحنة

That was very rude of you to say, Small Fry.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch.

Just go to the party and tail the guy. Figure out what he’s really up to and nab him; easy as pie.

Jason sends him the three separate text messages; one after another. Damian sighs and rolls his eyes after reading the last one. He begins to pace his dorm as he types his response.

That’s easy for you to say, Todd. I’ve never done anything like this. This is nothing like a gala.

You got that right. ;)

I do not understand the purpose of your winking face, Todd. Back to the matter at hand. What am I even supposed to wear to an event like this?

Well, what kind of party is it?

Costume. Costumes that represent your true self, according to the host himself.

I got it!

Jason rapidly texts Damian back with exactly what costume he should wear to the party. When he reads the text his green eyes go wide with shock. He immediately texts back a firm refusal. But then Jason texts him back a chicken emoji followed by a question mark. When Damian doesn’t respond he sends three more.

Just trust me and wear the costume.

Damian stops his pacing and looks towards his bed. A small black duffle bag sits on the floor underneath it; completely hidden from view. He bends down and pulls the bag out but does not open it. As he stares at it he quickly texts Jason back before he can send more mocking chicken emojis.

What if someone puts two and two together? What am I supposed to do then, Todd?

Wow, didn’t think you’d give college kids that much credit.

They’re Yale students, Todd. Even the most moronic student in attendance is a million times more intelligent than you are.

Trust me.

XXXXX

Damian nervously walks up the steps to Sigma Alpha Epsilon. He’s going into completely uncharted territory by going to this party, but, he needs to do it. This Jude Janus person is not at all who he is claiming to be. Everything about him was fake; from his hair, to his voice, right down to his “this is the real me” attitude. When he approaches the door he recites the pass phrase to the meathead student acting as bouncer.

“Most people hide behind masks; I do not.”

The meathead nods once and opens one half of the large wooden double doors.

The frat house is filled with students in costume. Looking around he sees that many of the people took the criteria seriously and wore outfits that represent their true selves. And then, just like every costume party, there were the young women and men who wore costumes that barely passed for articles of clothing. As Damian walks through the house, compliments are shouted out to him from the drunken partygoers. With each new shout Damian crinkles his nose in disgust and quickens his pace.

“Yo, yo, yo! Boy Wonder in the house!”

“Ohmigod! I never knew Robin was so sexy!”

“Aw, dude! Sick sword, is that real?”

People are drinking and smoking all around the house. Two girls dance topless on a table in the living room while some guys start to pick a fight with one another. As he passes the staircase near the rear of the house he notices two guys are racing each other down the stairs in laundry baskets.

He angrily whispers under his breath; “غبي سخيف أسهولز في حالة سكر”

Shaking his head and already regretting his decision Damian makes it to the kitchen but he remains on the outskirts. And being held upside-down over a keg, in a fully black suit, is none other than the man he came to see. Everyone around him is counting how long Jude can remain like that and Damian does not understand the appeal. Nor does he see the point. When Jude’s mouth is full of beer and he begins to spit it out the two buff frat guys let him down. The other people in the kitchen simultaneously make sad noises as he walks away from them and over to Damian.

“Damian! You made it!”

“I believe I did tell you that I would be attending.”

Jude smiles and claps Damian on the back in that universal sign of male camaraderie.

“I thought you said this was a costume party, Janus. You don’t appear to be in the proper attire.”

“Oh but I do, and I am, my friend,” he says with a villainous smile.

He pulls something from his pants pocket. Unfurling the rolled up cloth for Damian to see he reveals a thick mask made of black leather. With a smile on his face Jude puts the mask on and it molds to his visage perfectly; as if it was made for him. Damian’s assumptions are confirmed by Janus’ action of donning the mask and he hides his smirk.

“I knew you were never who you claimed to be.”

He reaches for the sword that rests at his back but before Damian’s hands can grasp the hilt fists are flying at him from all directions. Without time to grab his sword he begins to fight off his attackers with his bare hands. But the sheer number of men and women attacking overwhelm him. He fights for as long as he’s able and yet he is defeated by the mob of partygoers. They strip him of his sword and remove his hood before pushing him to his knees. The mob holds him in place so that the man in the mask can speak without interruption. The man bends down so that he is eye level with Damian.

“Oh, do tell, Boy Wonder. How did you figure it out?”

“Jude Janus? You couldn’t have picked something more obvious. A mere child could have figured you out.”

Taking the insult for what it was the man curls his fingers into a fist and punches Damian hard in the mouth. Blood collects inside his mouth from the repeated blows and the punch from the masked man. He spits the blood out, the blood falls onto the young man’s shiny black shoes, and Damian smirks.

“Don’t give yourself any credit, Sionis; I knew everything from the beginning. Everything about you is a complete falsehood.”

Sionis finishes wiping the blood from his hand. He looks at Damian with his dark eyes; “Looks like you've got me all figured out, then, tell me something. Have you figured out why I’m here, yet?”

Damian doesn’t answer him.

He laughs; “Ha! I knew you had no idea!”

“Well, then, how about I tell you my story; the story of Henry Sionis?” he asks with a smile.

“My mother was a face model named Circe Robinson. She worked for Janus Cosmetics; a company owned by Roman Sionis. They fell in love, like people do sometimes, and became intimate; they even got engaged. But when Roman screwed up, and made a bad batch of makeup, a bunch of women were badly disfigured. Circe broke off their engagement and hid the best she could. She gave birth to me in secret. When dear old Dad reinvented himself and built The False Face Society he found me and mom. Well, he found mom first...”

“And he forced her to wear a mask coated in the same tainted makeup that disfigured the other women. She was rendered completely mute and blank because of it. I know.” Damian interrupts.

“Dad made up for all of that by raising me,” Henry continues ignoring the interruption.

“He taught me everything I would ever want to know about the criminal underworld. He made me this mask on my eighteenth birthday when he gave me control of his empire in case death came for him. It works just like an old mask of his; controlling the minds of the weak-willed. But when The Bat arrested him and threw him in Arkham he gave control to one of his lackeys instead. And I owe it to him to show him that I’m more than worthy to follow in his footsteps.”

Henry commands one of the partygoers to grab him a drink and one of the people holding Damian leaves the horde. As he pauses in his tale to drink Damian takes advantage of the moment to check if he can move his left arm. It moves just enough and he smiles to himself.

“I’m rebuilding the False Face Society with the most weak-willed people; drunken college students. And then Dad will have no choice but to give me control of his empire. I will rebuild the FFS so that it’s even stronger than before. And you’re going to help me, Damian Wayne. Or should I say Robin?”

“Robin is the real you, is it not? That’s why you donned the whole getup tonight, right?” Henry says shooting Damian a knowing look.

Damian grits his teeth in anger. “All of this to impress a father who doesn’t love you?” he scoffs. “You’re even more pathetic than I first thought.”

Henry smiles; “Two of Gotham’s founding families finally coming together in a way such as this? It’s the perfect irony. Not to mention some sweet, sweet, revenge for Bats throwing dear old Dad in Arkham.”

“You forgot something, Sionis.”

“What’s that?”

“I am not weak-willed.”

Damian retorts as he punches the frat boy next to him, who holds his sword, in the gut. The skinny young man falls to the floor with a light thud. Despite still being under Henry’s control many of the partygoers who held him down back away from fear. Damian turns around and takes on the meathead who was the bouncer next. A jab to the abdomen with the hilt of his sword, and an uppercut to the chin, then the man lay on the floor; out cold.

The bigger they are the harder they fall.

He’s careful enough to not land any potentially fatal blows to these students, but, their varying states of drunkenness does not make it easy. Holding back most of his strength Damian soon subdues a good amount of them. Sionis’ mind-control device, which hides somewhere inside his mask, does not work on those who are incapacitated so he is down quite a few minions.

Damian notices he has a clear path to Henry and he takes it.

Flipping over a beefy frat boy who tried to bum rush him Damian cuts down a large papier-mache effigy of Yale’s mascot Handsome Dan. The bulldog effigy falls onto the beefy frat boy and two skinny girls; knocking them out. Sionis notices that Damian cleared this path and tries to make a hasty escape by running through the frat house. Seemingly escaping Robin, by rapidly turning the corner near the staircase at the back of the house, Henry laughs.

But, he is not so lucky, just as he turns the corner Damian stands in front of him; blocking his path.

Damian grabs Henry and turns him around; holding the blade of his sword to Henry’s throat he removes the mask. Moans and confused groan-like noises fill the frat house as those who were still under Sionis’ mind control begin to come to. Holding the man’s hands behind his back Damian leads him out on to the lawn. A squad of cop cars awaits their arrival. Damian reveals that he made a call to both campus and city police before he arrived at the party. After he leads Henry into the back of a cop car Damian hands the evidence he gathered on Sionis over to a policewoman.

“You Bat people sure work super fast. Thanks, kiddo,” the woman says with a nod.

“Make sure he doesn’t get anywhere near the mask. He’s virtually harmless without it. I recommend transferring him to Arkham from whatever jail he gets thrown in; they know how to deal with people like him.”

The female officer thanks him again and Damian nods silently to her before she leaves to question the partygoers. Then he walks back over to the car holding Sionis. He raps his knuckles on the window pane. Henry rolls his eyes in annoyance but rolls the window down anyway.

“You never stood a chance; this was over before you even started, Sionis. But do not be discouraged, I’m sure you’ll see your father in Arkham very soon. I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

“After all, Black Mask is the real you, is it not?” he adds with a smirk.

Damian walks away and turns his attention back to the frat house. Most of the partygoers had already spilled out onto the lawn in their confusion. Those who were outside were beginning to be questioned by the police. As he walked around he listened in on the routine questioning. Questioning that was as routine as the police could’ve asked; having never dealt with anything, or anyone, like Henry Sionis before. Not a single person remembered anything that happened during the party. And almost every single one of them couldn’t even remember how, or when, they got there. Damian reassured some of them that they would be safe and those he spoke to said they felt safer already knowing that they would have a Bat to watch over them.

After escorting a few students, who still did not feel safe, back to their dorms Damian made his way home.

Grappling across the rooftops of the university, and looking down at the campus below, Damian smiled. There was something about the way things looked at night that was vastly different from how they looked during the day. And Yale, like most big cities, had a magical look about it at night. Damian was happier in this moment than during most of the time he had already spent attending the university. Whether it was because he could go on being himself since no one remembered Sionis revealing his identity or because he could still be Robin if the need arose he wasn’t sure.

But one thing was definitely certain; he was going to make the most of it.

~~~~~

Translations:

Dog-- الكل

Prick-- وخزة

Shit-- اللعنة

Motherfucker-- الأم لحنة

Stupid fucking drunk assholes-- غبي سخيف أسهولز في حالة سكر

[asagimeta]

Am I the only one who feels like queer acceptance has taken a step back in television? Or at the very least in sitcoms? Because I just... I think about the really popular sitcoms from the 90s and early 2000s vs now and it feels weirdly reversed? Freinds actually had regularly recurring lesbians who were not fetishized plus several gay charectors who came and went, including Chandler's dad who was gay AND a drag queen, Roseanne had regular gay charectors, a regular bisexual, and even introduced the concept of an older gay woman plus several of gay, lesbian, and bi charectors along the way, even Golden Girls had recurring queer themes including a recurring charector who was most likely trans or at the absolute least someone with a non-binary gender

And ofcourse there are the Big Guns like Ellen and Willl & Grace

None of the LGBTQ+ charectors in these shows were fetishized or bashed or criticized or used as jokes, at the very MOST Roseanne questioned Nancy's flip-flopping sexuality for a time because Nancy herself didn't know how to define what she was, and Sophia was seen as being clearly uncomfortable with her son being feminine and wile this was used as a punchline through parts of the show it was actually resolved in a DEEPLY respectfull and emotional way (I can't speak for Will & Grace because I actually never saw it but it's pretty clear that it represented decently from what I know of it)

Hell, even Seinfeld- wich never brought in any lasting or recurring queer charectors- handled the subject of non-straight sexualities with a level of respect that I don't see handled in current shows, noteably by saying "Not that there's anything wrong with that" whenever Jerry or George was suggested as being gay and even with Jerry questioning why someone didn't think he was romantically involved with a gay freind at one point, versus the severe "OH MY GOD NO NO NO NO" reaction presented in alot of modern sitcoms today

Then you have today's sitcoms wich have a running theme of queer-baiting as a joke without actually having many, if any at all, queer charectors

Admittedly I don't watch many modern sitcoms because I don't appreciate the brand of humor but I've seen a few and none of them seem to have or respect queer charectors

The Big Bang Theory has an asexual as a main charector who is largely sex-repulsed wich is GREAT... but that's it, and any hints of homosexual interaction on the show is always a punchline, from one time when Sheldon accidentally got a guy's phone number when he was trying to get a date for Penny to- ugh- the constant queer-baiting of Raj and Howard, and the even more constant feminization and very stereotyped "effiminate gay" behavior of Raj only to be constantly told he's straight, even now that Howard is married there's still the very frequent baiting of Raj and Howard being in love with eachother played as a punchline, Raj being feminine is always played as a punchline, and it's all done pretty disrespectfully... TBBT has alot of problems with representation and what it considers humor (my biggest constantly comes from the way Howard treats women and how women are usually portrayed as the wrong-doers in the situation) but that's another story, for a show that's constantly hailed as being "this generation's Freinds" it's pretty sad how massively different the queer rep is

Mike & Molly has two recurring gay charectors wich is fair, not great but fair, M&M has a pretty small cast of recurring charectors- though the size of the mains is pretty much the same as any sitcom- but once again we have the issue of baiting with Mike and Carl- especially with Carl, who does it much, much more than Mike does, and I'm not saying that the older sitcoms like Freinds never had baiting moments (Chandler is a pretty prime example, episodes like The Nap Partners are a good example too) but the difference is that Freinds actually had several queer charectors AND when they *did* make sexuality a punchline it wasn't frequent and wasn't usually that offensive, M&M however only has very very occassional  ACTUAL gay representation and the joke of Carl acting romantic with men is played up really often

How I Met Your Mother is not something I really watched alot of, but I caught probably most of the episodes one summer when I had it on as background noise and I don't recall any recurring queer charectors from it, they didn't bait to my knowledge- wich is good in a basic decency kind of way- but I don't recall there being any queer charectors that stuck around- if any at all

As I said, I don't watch alot of sitcoms, and I do acknowledge that there are some like The Real O'Neals (wich was just cancelled) that don't fit this bill- though weather or not their representation was considered respectfull I guess is something only someone who's seen the show could say- but I can't think of any others that come to mind wich have presented a queer charector in their advertising and I just... find that so weird....

It's often been said that we're starting to slide back in terms of progression, with things like political crap going out of control, hate crimes escalating, and representation being either stagnant or even going down... and I just find it so weird that twenty years ago queer representation it sitcoms was actually not bad, shows like Roseanne and Freinds presented it as a very normal part of society- regardless of using sexuality as a punchline or not- and shows like Ellen and The Golden Girls went a step above by making a point of showing acceptance of queer people in a more dramatic tone, but these days you're lucky to see a queer person in the background of a popular sitcom or avoid sexuality being used as a big joke

Ofcourse there are parts of TV where representation is getting better- RuPaul's Drag Race is more popular and mainstream than ever and continues to pile up awards, shows like How To Get Away With Murder have a decent number of queer charectors and makes it VERY well known that anyone could get their gay on at any given time wile also bringing up legitimate queer issues (outside of the usual homophobia) like safe sex, depicting aspects of the relationship other than just flirting and sex, and discrimination within the queer community, you have shows like Supergirl wich depict a main relationship- one of only TWO main relationships at that- as a queer couple who both had very different exepriences as queer people and who have fights about small things and cuddle and cry and you know... do the exact same stuff that the straight couples do, and the hugely popular mainstream shows like The Walking Dead and Once Upon A Time even have queer charectors now- there may not be many of them and they may often get shafted to the side but TWD in particular has introduced a total of six, if I remember correctly, and as the most popular show currently on TV that's actually a pretty huge deal, Hannibal has several queer charectors including BOTH mains who are not "gay men" but "men who are gay"- the story revolves around a cannibalistic serial killer who just so happens to have romantic attraction to the male detective and vice versa, wich is incredible really, hell even cartoons are starting to get with the program, Paranorman introduced the first openly gay charector in a kid's movie a few years ago and Ever After High had an ON-SCREEN KISS between two girls who are largely hinted to be "destined" for eachother, so progression IS out there and growing- thank God- but sitcoms seem to be oddly left out of this and I have no idea why

It's weird, is all I'm saying

[itsjustkp007]

Letter to My Child Self

(Note: Stef is a girl on YouTube who posts about trans issues, but she also does beauty and lifestyle videos. She “challenged” her audience to write a letter to our younger selves. I use “challenged” loosely because while this may be challenging for me, it may not be for someone else. Anyway, here are some things that I would want to tell/advise my younger self.)

1) 12-year-old Kristin, you’re going to get bullied for reasons that don’t matter. People are going to say that you’re a lesbian because you haven’t had a boyfriend. People are going to say that you’re a bitch because you’re honest and don’t give a fuck. People are going to be nasty to you. Accept that. Getting defensive doesn’t hurt them; it hurts you. Of course, you should stand up for yourself, and of course, you shouldn’t believe them, but accept the fact that their bullying has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

2) 12-year-old Kristin, the reason that you get so offended by someone calling you a lesbian is because you’re panromantic. It’s not a bad thing that you could see yourself falling in love with someone regardless of gender. You’re offended because they’re misidentifying who you really are. You’re offended because how dare they know something within you that you haven’t acknowledged yet. Take your time. Let yourself come to terms with this, and don’t let anyone sway your opinion about yourself. (Plus, as we both know, being a lesbian isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not a term that describes you.)

3) 12-year-old Kristin, calm down. You get so angry so easily. Don’t let people get to you. You are better than that, and you are stronger than that. Try not to be so defensive. It’s okay to let some things go.

4) 12-year-old Kristin, you’re going to fall in love with a boy. This boy is going to be both one of the best things that ever happened to you and your worst heartbreak. You will never regret him, though, because he set the foundation of what you want in a partner and what you don’t want. He will show you what you deserve as well as what you don’t deserve. However, you’re both going to grow up, and you’re not going to grow together. You’re gonna be angry with him for a little while, and that’s okay, but he’s not the enemy. Give yourself the courage to let him go when you know it’s not going to work. Give yourself the time you need to move on.

5) 12-year-old Kristin, you don’t know everything. The sooner that you come to this conclusion, the better. And don’t assume that you’re not an asshole because you don’t bully people. You’re going to be an asshole at some points in your life. You’re also going to have asshole moments. Learn from them.

6) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a reason why you love to read so much and there’s a reason why you consider the library a safe place. It’s where you belong. Don’t rule out being a librarian because it’s hard. Pursue it. Don’t be so stubborn about it. (Trust me when I say that you’re going to be learning throughout your life, at least to this point, to be less stubborn about things, but good Lord do we have a way to go. xD No worries. You’ll get there eventually.)

7) 12-year-old Kristin, I wish I could tell you that your self-esteem is through the roof and that you’re actually confident about yourself. You haven’t gotten there yet, but you will get to a point where you are confident with your body. Not confident in the sense that you think you’re hot shit, but to the point where you can look at your body in the mirror and own it. You will wear what you want. You will wear what’s comfortable for you to wear, and you will strut like you’re walking a fucking runway. Own your body. If you want to exercise, exercise. If you want to eat that bowl of ice cream, eat that ice cream. Don’t let society or stereotypes tell you otherwise. Own. Yourself.

8) 12-year-old Kristin, sexuality is still a thing that we’re not sure about, but let me tell you a secret: it’s because we don’t have a label for it. You’re not pansexual. (By the way, you know the difference between romantic and sexual attraction now, so that helps.) You’re more like heteroflexible than anything, which is why we feel like we don’t belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. Not because it wouldn’t be accepted, but because we’re not “gay enough.” (Note: I hear you, Ash Hardell and similar people of the world, a little bit gay is gay enough, but that’s just how I feel.) Don’t let anyone rush you into finding a label for yourself. You’ll figure it out eventually, and you don’t really need a label.

9) 12-year-old Kristin, you feel more comfortable in small men’s shirts because they’re soft and hide your stomach fat. You’re not weird for wearing those shirts. You’re weird for other reasons. xD Oh, and while we’re on that topic, weird is not an insult. You’ll soon realize that weird, to you, is synonymous with different, outside of the norm, or unique. These are all good things. Don’t shy away from it.

10) 12-year-old Kristin, when you’re in 7th grade, you’re going to date a guy in sixth grade. But prepare yourself: he’s gay. It won’t work out. But good grief, you’re going to be over the moon happy when he finds a lovely man to live the rest of his life with and you’re going to be so thankful that you dated him. He may not have been into you, but he showed you how you should be treated, and that will absolutely help you in the future.

11) 12-year-old Kristin, never be afraid to try new things.

12) 12-year-old Kristin, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT wear makeup because you feel it is expected of you. Only wear makeup when you want to; it’s not anyone else’s decision but yours.

13) 12-year-old Kristin, you’ll learn to love your hometown more in the future, but that does not necessarily mean that it’s where you belong. Sure, it will always have a special place in your heart, but what makes it home to you is the people, not the location. Although, we can both agree that the mountains are a nice touch and it’s absolutely gorgeous in the fall.

14) 12-year-old Kristin, enjoy your life now. Don’t rush to become an adult. You spend more time wishing you could be older than you focus on the present. Take a breather. Live for the moment.

15) 12-year-old Kristin, I’m going to stop you from wondering this right now. That reoccurring nightmare you have happens less over time, but it’s something that will never completely go away. Just accept it for what it is: a nightmare based on the scariest moment to ever happen in your life.

16) 12-year-old Kristin, take care of your little sister. She does mean a lot to you already and it’s obvious that you love her, but she’ll need you more in the future than you will ever be able to fathom. Accept her. Love her. Be her rock. You may not feel like you’ve helped her enough, but trust me: you’ve helped her more than you ever thought you could.

17) 12-year-old Kristin, stay the person that you are. Make changes when necessary, be mature when you need to be mature, and don’t stay the same exact person. But when you grow, keep the qualities that you like about yourself: your laughter, your humor, your selflessness, your optimism, and your belief that you can accomplish anything.

18) 12-year-old Kristin, you watch The Apprentice now, but dude, wait until you turn 24. You’re not going to believe the shitstorm that happens, and...wow. Expect the unexpected. Not just with this, but with every aspect of life. (Oh, and yes, you never stop calling people “dude.” You still see it as a gender-neutral term, and you’ll use it with anyone and everyone unless they tell you otherwise.)

19) 12-year-old Kristin, yes, you love video games. However, don’t go into college majoring in computer science. You were meant to play them, not make them. Although, who knows? Maybe you’ll write a script for one one day. (This hasn’t happened yet, but we can dream.)

20) 12-year-old Kristin, you can curse. You’re allowed, but make sure you’re aware of the people around you. Some people are okay with it; some people are not. Know the difference, but you’re allowed to curse when you’re angry. It’s not the worst thing in the world.

21) 12-year-old Kristin, you don’t care about alcohol right now, and you’re never going to care about it. Try what you want to try, and reject what you want to reject. The right people aren’t going to care whether you drink or not.

22) 12-year-old Kristin, you stay a Christian, but you also become a lot more open-minded. Don’t just reject things because the adults at church tell you to. Make your own decisions. God will forgive you; you just have to forgive yourself.

23) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a reason why you get angry at extremists. You’re a moderate. xD But seriously, the reason you get so agitated with political debates is due to the fact that their disagreements turn into shouting matches. You’re annoyed because they are grown adults arguing in such a childish manner that it turns you off. This isn’t going to change, but that’s why you hate politics. It’s not because you don’t care; it’s because you want people to discuss their disagreements rather than try to convince the other side they’re right.

24) 12-year-old Kristin, your first vote was for an African American President. Right now, you’re curious about why the President has always been a white man, and you’re sort of irritated that a woman or someone of another race hasn’t won, but that will change. And boy oh boy, do you get excited! xD (Btw, thanks, Obama. :) Lord, I miss him as POTUS.)

25) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a thing called YouTube that you’re going to fall in love with and it’s going to change your life for the better. But it does get addicting. Be careful. Focus on what needs to be done first before you watch it, and then watch videos to your heart’s content. xD <3

26) 12-year-old Kristin, I have one last piece of advice for you. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on school. Don’t give up on your loved ones. Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself.