#it may be worth to just restart

[nutmegdoggy]

I made this a couple years ago, I don't know if I'll ever finish it but I figured it's been so long I might as well dump what I have for 4/13 this year. happy homestuck day

song is morph by twenty one pilots

here's a youtube embed if you want that instead for some reason

[victorluvsalice]

And then I was like "you know, I invited Felipe to this shindig SPECIFICALLY so Victor could reconnect with him and once again have a friend OUTSIDE his immediate household -- let's do that, okay?" XD So Victor went and said hello to Felipe and shared a nice chat with him at one of the side tables. :) They did indeed become friends again, I'm glad to say, and Victor even learned a bit about Felipe's new preferences post THAT update -- namely, that he likes blue but dislikes yellow. *pause* Welp, he probably isn't a fan of Smiler's tux then. Or their eye color either. XD

With the Felipe Reconnection sorted, it was time for a lovely, if unofficial in my game, wedding tradition -- the first dance! I put that dance floor in and made sure to hire a pianist for the wedding for a REASON, you know. The My Wedding Stories people can't have all the fun! Victor and Smiler shared a few lovely turns on the dance floor to the piano music, courtesy of the "Slow Dance" interaction in the Cute Romance mod, and ended on an adorable little dip kiss. :) I'll take "things I wish I had at Victor and Alice's original wedding" for $500, Alex! Ah well, at least I got to indulge this time around. :)

After that, I wasn't sure what to do, so I decided, "well, I set up a photo op area, might as well use it." So I had Alice mount her camera on the tripod, spun the tripod around when I realized I'd put it backwards relative to the backdrop (^^;), and then had Victor and Smiler pose for her while she took a couple of pictures. It was fun making them do various silly poses, but I ended up not that fond of the white backdrop, so after a few pictures I stopped the photo session so I could move it. I was just getting ready to try some nicer snaps against the beauty of nature when I saw the "Take Photo With..." option and thought "Oh, yeah, Alice should get some pictures with the happy couple too. Wouldn't it be nice if I could do all three of them in one go, but I'm sure the game won't let me pick both--"

". . .the game just let me pick both."

". . .I CAN DO PROPER OT3 PHOTOS WITH THE TRIPOD?!?!"

Uh, cue me going COMPLETELY OVERBOARD with taking pictures of the trio using the tripod camera. XD The first couple were a little glitchy (mostly due to the fact that Smiler started walking away while the camera 'timer' was going, and when I changed the poses, the game teleported them back into the same space that Alice was occupying, resulting in some weird merged Sim nonsense), but once I started another set -- oooh, the fun I was having. Oh, the joy of getting to do all sorts of delightful and silly photos with all three of my beloved Sims in the same goddamn shot for once. XD What you're seeing there is just a small representative sampling of some of my absolute favorite shots. I -- yeah. This is something I wanted for AGES, and I wasn't about to waste the opportunity to get as many shots of my OT3 TOGETHER as possible.

That being said, I DID want some of the classic "dual selfies" as well, so once I was finally done with the tripod, I had Alice reclaim her camera, then moved the trio over to another nice spot nearby with some cute light-strung trees and had Alice and Smiler, Alice and Victor, and Victor and Smiler all take some selfies together. Which all turned out very cute as well. :)

. . .Yes, I swear the last one also turned out cute. Look, I don't know WHY it happens, but sometimes, when you take an in-game picture, the version in your "screenshots" folder ends up "overexposed" like that. It doesn't happen EVERY time, but I got unlucky in this case, and ALL of Victor and Smiler's selfies had that weird "glow" to them. I just wanted to include one to prove that they'd taken a few! Trust me, the in-game versions are fine and adorable.

[greentea-mp3]

is anyone else completely and utterly terrified about the passage of time or...?

[tremendouscreationperson]

Part 2 of this

Next part here

Stan hadn't been able to help it. He had asked for your address to keep in touch.

He was able to now.

Able to send and receive letters. There had been a few instances when he was on the road that he dialed your number and your ma or pa answered, he had pretended to be a wrong number for them.

He was too chicken to talk to Ford why did he think he could talk to you?

But letters were different.

He could do letters.

You'd explained how you moved to California for college and loved the area so much you decided to stay. He had known you wanted to go to college but the three of you had always said you'd stay near New Jersey.

He wished so much that he kept in touch but his life was shit. He made things shit. He was shit.

His dad had been right.

He wasn't even worth turning up to a funeral for.

Stan paused mid sentence. Maybe he shouldn't be exchanging letters with you, maybe he should just stay away.

But a letter couldn't hurt.

He wouldn't have to change his voice or wear gloves or pretend he had smarts.

He could relax.

If something seemed off in the letter he could restart it.

And so the correspondence continued.

~~

It took a year and a half before you suggested coming down to see Mr Mystery himself.

Ford explained that his Uni grant had stopped so he was relying on good ol' fashioned tours of his labs to make money, only the real science didn't interest the resistance so he had to be creative.

You were sure he bored his patrons to death by explaining the rays and dials and tubing he had before coming up with the idea to sell to his clientele.

If only Stan was here. He'd be able to come up with good monsters and ghouls, just like in school.

You were able to find some sketches he gifted you (from a comic he was determined to publish) to send in your letter. Hopefully Ford could use them for ideas. It was a little bittersweet to part with them but ultimately it was for the greater good and you could always ask for them back.

So, now, here you were merely proposing a meet up but it felt... Well it felt wrong? Yeah, Ford and yourself were mates but Stanley was always the glue that kept you together.

Despite the mixed emotions you pushed on and signed your name before shoving it into an envelope and sending it off.

~~

The journey to 'Gravity Falls' - brilliant name - was not awful.

It took a solid 6 hours of driving but you knew it would be worth it. Knew it had to be done.

You would keep your friendship with Ford alive for Stan. You'd be the honorary sibling.

Once you were in Oregon you pulled up the map he had sent and followed the instructions he scratched onto it. 'Don't turn by the Horse Scarecrow go further to the Pig', 'There's a big boulder by the town sign be careful, I swear it moves', 'left by the tree that looks like Dolly'.

They were odd instructions but they were perfect. The town was definitely unique.

It was 9 when you finally made it to the 'Mystery Shack' and you had to admit it was cute. There were homemade arrows pointing in all directions and a copious amount of question marks dotted about.

The sign on the door read "closed" but you could see at the back there were lights on.

Climbing out of your car you twaddled over to the back door, rucksack slung on your shoulder, the soft sounds of a TV wafted through the door as you knocked.

The TV stopped and you could hear wood creaking as Ford approached. The door opened and revealed him wearing a suit with a large question mark tie.

He smiled down at you, gesturing for you to enter. "Hi."

"Hey." Your eyes scanned the room, mostly homemade wooden furniture with the odd trinkets or pop of colour. There were a few sciency looking gadgets but otherwise this was a humble home. "It's really cute in here."

Ford scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks."

The silence was slightly weird but you anticipated that it may be a bit weird at first. Just have to push through it.

"Have you eaten?" He asked.

"No but to be honest I'm zonked." You chuckled. "Long journey."

Ford clasped his hands. "Of course, well, you can have my room. I'll take the couch."

"Uhm, I can't kick you out of your room." You didn't realise that he would have to vacate his bed for you to visit. "I'll stay on the couch."

"You take the bed, I won't hear anything else about it." He added the last part as your mouth opened to argue.

~~

Staying with Ford was odd.

He was more casual than you remembered.

Gave fewer lectures.

But otherwise your stay was pleasant.

You helped him in the Shack; printing t-shirts, manning the register, flicking the lights on and off, making spooky noises when needed. It was fun.

You enjoyed your time here because it was silly. You were able to let loose whilst watching some suckers gape at a wax figure or a crudely put together unicorn.

After leaving it really didn't take long to decide on coming back.

Spending every other weekend up in Oregon became your routine. Yeah, the drive was shitty but it was worth it.

Ford loved it. Or well.. if he didn't he didn't say anything.

Eventually you were gifted a cot upstairs and you considered staying for longer.. perhaps even for an indefinite amount of time. It was quite conflicting wanting to stay with Ford.

You still loved Stan. You'd always love him but you saw so much of Stan in Ford it was ludicrous.

The way he'd swindle and trick, his Mr Mystery persona, and whenever a patron was a little handsy, the way he'd threaten them.

Ford never did that. He outwitted people. He was the brains.

But maybe that changed in the time you spent apart. His father had made the two of them box and from Ford's ears he'd kept up the sport.

~~

Through all your time at the shack there was only one thing that truly bothered you. It was a teeny tiny detail but it drove you insane.

Ford never removed his gloves.

He was always wearing them.

Everyday, every night, every meal, everywhere.

You'd seen his hands before.

Everyone back home had.

They were just hands!

Maybe he didn't want the town to think they were real, wanted them to think he was a fraud because being a freak was worse?

It didn't matter in the grand scheme of things but it was agitating you.

~~

"Put teeth on it." You suggest, sitting on the floor with your back leaning against the wall.

Ford made a face but nodded, prying the crows beak apart. He wandered around the shop, opening cupboards and drawers. "I'm sure I had som-"

"The blue cabinet." You pointed.

Ford opened it and voilà he produced a jar of teeth. You didn't bother to ask if they were real, either of the answers would be weird. Yes = weird. No, where did he get such realistic teeth? = Weird.

You observed Ford positioning the teeth, he waited for your approval which you gave and began gluing them.

It was late in the evening and he had promised the town and its tourists something big. So crow with teeth and a skunks tail it was.

He was precise with the glue gun but still stopped to talk with you, ever the gentleman. How had their father made them?

You hated their dad with a passion.

He was an absolute asshole.

You'd tell him that, too.

He didn't even come to the funeral. You'd assumed he had passed but Ford told you he didn't want to come. His parents were starting afresh with Shermie.

No, you wouldn't include Caryn on that. She was lovely but Filbrick...

Filbrick was something else entirely. In fact, you remember first meeting him, he glanced up at you over his newspaper before returning to the words. Stan had reassured you that that type of behaviour meant he liked you but you knew differently. You knew, even at age 10, Stan was covering for his father.

Ford hadn't experienced that. He never knew what it was to disappoint his father and you felt for Stanley. You were even present once when Ford tried to explain that Stan seemed to take short cuts and maybe that was why Filbrick was disappointed. It was later in the week when Stan confessed that he had to take short cuts, of course he did, because how else could he possibly keep up?

"Ah shit!"

Your eyes shot back to Ford who was shaking his left hand. Quickly standing to assist. "What happened?"

"Just a burn, it'll be fine." Ford brushed you off, resuming the task at hand.

You scoffed. "Ford, take the glove off, you idiot."

"It's fine." He insisted.

"You're sticking to things!"

Ford grumbled but didn't reply.

"I've seen your hands before. There's no one else around. Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not weird." He huffed turning away from you. "Don't look."

You rolled your eyes before turning away. "Fucking hell, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were Stan pretending to be Fo-"

It hit you.

All the stupid chats, all the late night beers, all the jokes, the lame costumes, the zero science talk, the scams, the lies, everything.

Your body had turned without your brain catching up and you were face to face with a Stan. Not 100% sure which one.

Stan's eyes were wide, gloved hand clutching his ungloved one. You took three steps to him, invading his personal space, to place your own hand on top of his. Slowly you tugged on it and revealed the five digits.

Wh-what did this mean?

This was Stan?

Stanley?!

Where was Ford?

Why?

Why did Stan need- what was he doi- where wa-

His palm gripped yours. "I can explain."

.

.

.

Part 3

@breadandbiscuits @aratheegreat @sp00kyfr0gs @doggosnoodles12 @50shadesofwinchesters @living-in-a-veil

[catcze]

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

It's nothing dramatic. It's nothing grand. It's simple and easy and so very very very much like him.

It happens in the early morning, under the sheets of your shared bed. It's barely past five in the morning, and although you're still one foot in dreamland and one foot in the waking world, Wriothesley has been up for a while now. His chest is pressed to your back and curled around your person. Ever since he had awoke some time before you had, his hands had busied themselves with playing with yours. In particular, you couldn't help how he seemed to frequently trace the knuckle of the fourth finger of your left hand.

You don't say anything even when you rouse from your slumber, and Wriothesley doesn't stop playing with your hands. Even as you slowly wake up, as he presses kisses to the part of your nape not covered by your (his) shirt, you don't ask him what his hands are doing.

It's Wriothesley that finally speaks first. He buries his face into the base of your neck, break shaky when he inhales. So vulnerable, here, under the soft sheets. So fragile and easy to break. You could shatter him with just a few words, if you so desired. And he'd let you, too.

"We don't have to get married any time soon," he begins quietly, voice so low you almost don't hear. "Not if you don't want to. Hell, if you don't want to, we don't have to get married, either. I'm happy just being together with you, whatever that may be."

Wriothesley pauses and his breath hitches in his chest. His hands pause, enveloping yours, and in an act of comfort you lace your fingers together and reassuring squeeze.

I'm here. I'm listening.

His hand squeezes back, and his heart restarts in his chest.

"But if you let me," he clears his throat, "If you let me, I’ll prove to you that I’m worth spending your life with. That I'll make you happy. That you won’t regret marrying me."

And you want to turn around so badly. Want to see the shine in his eyes and the flush high on his cheeks. Want to take in how the warm fluorescent lights bounce against his hair and his cool grey eyes. But his hold on you is tight (but never painful. Never anything that cages you in.) and you can do little more than hum and bring one of his hands to the plush of your lips in a soft kiss.

You pause to think your words through, and Wriothesley buries his face into the back of your neck again. Goosbumps rise wherever his breath touches, and you can feel how his hands subtly tremble in your hold.

“You don’t have to. Prove yourself, I mean." You bite your lip. If he's nervous, so are you. But you know what you want, and it is him. "I’d be more than happy to call you my husband one day, you know.”

And he doesn't say anything more— not a word or a gasp or even a sob. He just burrows further into the back of your neck and his hands come to pull you closer against him. His hands are so warm on your chest, where they have anchored against you, and the race of his heart against your back is enough for you to want to hold him tight and never let him go.

Nothing else needs to be said between you. He keeps holding you as the morning grows later with each passing second, never faltering. You don't bother to squirm, content to sit in his embrace for as long as he likes. You don't mention the way his hands keep trembling against you, even after his fear and nervousness should have passed. Instead you take them into yours and once more press a kiss to the scarred knuckles, just as you always have.

Taking his left hand into your own, you look at them side by side, and wonder how pretty it would look when you both get matching rings.

[cupidastrology]

ᥫ᭡ 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓼 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓽 𖤓 𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓲𝓭 𝓐𝓹𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓮 1388 𝓲𝓷 𝓟𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓼 🤍

Please do not repost or copy.

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Asteroid Aphrodite is currently moving through the illusionary Pisces ♓︎. Read below associated with your natal Asteroid Aphrodite 1388.

(if you do not know how to find your Asteroid Aphrodite, please message me!)

Pisces ♓︎ - the dreamer, the illusion, the intuition, the subconsciousness, manipulation, addiction, intoxication, on a high.

Asteroid Aphrodite - the seducer of romance, natural born seduction, the ability to persuade/manipulate to get what you want, love magick, natural forms of love.

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Aries ♈︎ - you may be mixed between a new way of loving, and an old way of romance. relationships in the love sector are confusing, all because a change in how you express/think/feel for love is coming together in a new awakening.

Taurus ♉︎ - you may be feeling a lot more indulgent or inspired than usual; this may through the actions of self care. you suddenly feel the need to be more opinionated, desirable, and needy towards yourself and what you want. it may seem these actions will entice your peers.

Gemini ♊︎ - your thoughts are muddle, but inspired strongly by stories of fantasy and what ifs. love and how you bring romance into your life is through observation, and it's important to practice boundaries with another in the love sector.

Cancer ♋︎ - you want to be held, and if love isn't coming quickly, your emotions come into play to put out the pointers that you wish to make romance happen. you're constantly reminded on what is most important, and that is letting go for a finer love.

Leo ♌︎ - the past and the potential future of new love is sitting right in front of you. there is a need to let go, but you can't help but feel that ego is at play just to make you want to be careless and into the club lights. to feel desirable is important right now, but who does that attract?

Virgo ♍︎ - you're feeling drawn to what is not real, and love blossoms in the world of art. the only way for someone to come is if they can touch the insides of you through poetry, but to find healing with new creation. you are thinking in new ways, but feeling that you can actually attain love in new methods of music, art, and dance.

Libra ♎︎ - there is inspiration hiding deep inside your heart, and it wants to be let out through creativity. to draw, or create a piece to adorn in public may be on your mind right now, but can be beneficial to entice a lover, crush, or an infatuation. do not be nervous to open up this side.

Scorpio ♏︎ - letting go is an important reminder at this time; romance is meeting an end in terms of old expectations and old ways of emotional expressions. focusing on what a new way of loving, especially towards yourself, may help you in the long run.

Sagittarius ♐︎ - You feel between worlds in the area of love and persuasion; it's important to know where your passion lies, and to not look back at old patterns of romance and self loving. if you wish to find the new horizon, look ahead of you, not the temptations of the past.

Capricorn ♑︎ - Allow this time to be sure of the choices you make in your commitments. There is something telling you to let go of a romantic affair, or seemingly an attraction that has long gone the past of interest. You find more beauty in restarting the way you seek romance from a person.

Aquarius ♒︎ - This is an incredible time to observe how you are thinking about yourself, and what you can utilize to your advantage towards new forms of romance. Reading on esoteric content and new forms of magic may help you to understand new forms of romance.

Pisces ♓︎ - You are seated in the realm of what love is all about; you may question what is worth your time, and what is bringing you the strongest of imagery in your head. To be inspired to create, to become another, is grown from the world of romance. Allow yourself to let go of what is not worth it in love, and birth a new form you create on your own terms.

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𖤓 Aphrodite Readings are currently open to book if you wish to know more about how Aphrodite can manifest in your life.

𖤓 My Kofi is now open on my pinned post if you wish to support my blog even further.

[wtftarot]

How can you navigate your life from here on?

Thank you, @lifeofaie for suggesting this reading, I really loved the idea.

Listen, I fuckin love a good road trip, ok? And navigating on a road trip ain't that different from navigating your life. Great music and shitty snacks. Wrong turns and detours that end up being half the fun and the whole story later. Arriving later than you planned or having plans changed entirely. How it always seems like the more you try to plan and control things the more they go off the rails. What do you need to keep in mind on this road trip called life? (yes I know how dorky that was, nope I don't care, yes all of these are gonna be heavy on road trip metaphors) Consider this reading, stopping and asking a local for directions and I promise not to lead you to the den of a serial killer. What is your inner compass saying? Is it time to make a rest stop? Let's fuck around and find out.

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Road Stretching On, The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere, or the Road to Ol' Kentucky and head on to your reading

The Road That Stretches On

The Tower, Seven/ Swords Rx and the Magician on the bottom of the deck.

This reading is HEAVY. Some of y'all who came to this reading are dealing with some heavy mental shit. I am not a mental health professional, please seek one out. Tarot is awesome and helpful but it is not therapy.

Take a breath. I'm so fuckin serious right now. You need to breathe and clear your mind even for a second. Don't ya just love how many people come to readings and then ignore the simplest advice given? To just take a breath? ( I love y'all, but some of y'all need a lil call out every now and then) The reason why I'm pushing y'all to stop and breathe is cause y'all's mind never. fuckin. stops. does it? Never. I had to restart this reading three times, cause I just kept getting wrapped up in y'all's anxiety spiral. And, I know it's hard but if you never make a conscious decision to try and slow down and give yourself a second, it's not gonna happen. Human brains are mostly auto-pilot and if you don't try and take the reins every once in a while it'll just keep doing what it's doing. Y'all are incredibly overwhelmed by making decisions for your future. It's like you see your future like the picture you chose, a road stretching on forever that can lead to anywhere depending on the turns you make but for you there's something that could be lurking in each turn. Something you're not seeing and that is terrifying to you. Now the main contender here looks to be anxiety about the state of the world, climate change, wars, pollution, famine, natural disasters, and on and on. Like y'all seem to be thinking what's the point, everything's going to shit. Listen, I'm gonna try to be gentle but when I tell y'all I'm very passionate about this, I am downplaying so fuckin hard. A lot of people fall into this overwhelm, it's not your fault. Governments and corporations put a shit ton of effort into keeping us feeling overwhelmed, cause overwhelmed people are too drained to put up a real fight. The point of trying is you being happy. That is worth it. The point is you can spread that joy. The point is to make a difference while you can. The point is that yeah, the world may be going to hell in a handbasket and you're just one person but you are a whole ass person. Who doesn't have to take this shit lying down. You want to live your life but are terrified of what might happen if you do. You feel like the world is a scary place and it can be sometimes, but you're so scared of truly stepping into the world, you never let yourself be or do much. It's like y'all are super fuckin excited for the road trip but are so scared of what may be around any turn, you just keep going on the same road letting it take you wherever it does. To get anywhere you want to go you have to make some choices. Yea, they may not always turn out how you planned but here's the thing: You will be okay. What you need to do to navigate your life? I'm sorry, y'all are gonna hate this advice but trust yourself. Sweetie, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, hell you may not have any knowledge of your full capabilities cause you've never let yourself reach them. Tarot readings can help you navigate, but all the readings in the world won't help you get anywhere if you never put your foot on the gas.

random ass vibes: I dunno if y'all forgot to eat but like I've been ravenous this whole reading, The cartoon Roadrunner, venus, tea, sunburn, flowers, 666

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere

The Star, the Five/Pentacles Rx and the High Priestess on the bottom of the deck.

Listen, honey. You can handle this. And you know you can. You're listening to your intuition, learning to trust yourself if you don't already. Y'all are navigating your life, you may have rough moments as we all do but y'all are learning to handle those moments with grace. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out why y'all are even at this reading, seems like the topic of this reading ain't something y'all need help with. And it ain't, y'all are killing it in this area. The reason y'all are here? Y'all need some encouragement. Maybe need is the wrong word, cause y'all are doing fuckin awesome either way. Deserve. That's the word. Y'all deserve some encouragement. The road you're on may be unconventional or the people around you very strongly disagree with. Or maybe they just strongly disagree with you, your identity as a person. (I dunno where "strongly disagree" is coming from but it keeps popping up in my head?) I feel like y'all have actively had people put you down and were able to power through and encourage yourselves, so you may not need others to encourage you. BUT we all deserve to be encouraged, just cause you can power through without supportive voices doesn't mean that you should have to. SO GET READY FOR SOME CHANNELED ENCOURAGEMENT MOTHERFUCKER! Y'all have been doing a fuckin amazing job moving away from shitty past situations and are not fucking giving yourselves enough credit. Yes, even if it was "just" some mental blocks. Oh, "just" a mental block are you kidding me? Do you know how hard getting over your own mental bullshit is?? Y'all are over here, learning to parkour over your mental bullshit like a goddamn ninja, acting like it's no big deal. Sweetie, that's huge, you do realize that? To be honest with yourself, call yourself on your bullshit and then do something about it? Step fuckin one of that is daunting. And I'm hearing that y'all were able to get through faster than even your guides were expecting. Honey, how powerful are you? Not only that, but y'all are learning to argue with your self-deprecating thoughts. Asking them, who gives a shit what they have to say? And taking all the energy you used to put into pushing yourself down and using it to build yourself up. That's SO fuckin badass, y'all! Talk about fuckin alchemizing shit. Y'all saw how much time and energy it was taking to keep yourself small and hurt, thought: Wonder what would happen if I used that to build myself up instead? And then you went and did it and ITS FUCKIN GORGIOUS. The blessings are gonna start rolling in with this new energy, but you already knew that. Cause motherfucker YOU are the blessing! Y'all are really embodying your own power and strength and are KICKING ASS. The last message is to let yourself rest, y'all are doing a lot. So give yourself a break, let yourself sleep in a bit later. Set aside time to just chill, you won't lose your progress while you sleep.

random ass vibes: receiving roses, worms, gardening, astronomy designs on clothes, 18, hide and seek

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Ol' Kentucky

Shout out to all my fellow Kentuckians! How y'all doing?

The Moon Rx, The Queen/Wands, the Page/Cups Rx and the Five/Wands Rx on the back of the deck

Y'all are being called to really embody yourself and your power moving forward. It seems like y'all not only have it in your head that you're a Page when you're a Queen (queen energy, not gender). You're wrong about the whole damn suit. Others may have convinced you you're being sensitive when they're being an asshole and you're pissed about it. (As if letting people talk shit about you is "weak" right?) Y'all think you're the negative aspects of the Cups: Overly emotional, flakey, manipulative, disorganized, and self-centered. When the truth is you're the positive aspects of the Wands: Passionate, creative, driven, confident, and strong-willed. Y'all are really fuckin hard on yourselves, okay? Others may have been intimidated by your strengths and convinced you they were your weaknesses. If y'all have been feeling stuck, this is why, alright? You are stuck cause you've been told that the way to get unstuck IS the reason you're stuck. Think of it like this, y'all are an airplane, convinced by cars that flying is your biggest weakness, trying to figure out why you never seem to get anywhere. Airplanes can roll around, sure but they're MADE to fly. It's time to do some hard thinking, probably back to when you were a kid. What were the things you loved and pursued, how did you pursue them and what bullshit did others say about it? Like, did you get super focused on an activity you were doing, forget about choirs or some shit, and then be called irresponsible and lazy? When you wanted something, were you the type to push and work towards it, then be called stubborn or relentless or annoying when others decided they wanted you to do something else? Because there are some good qualities y'all have that are how you're supposed to show up in the world that you're not letting yourself embody. To be clear, I'm not talking about being told you're acting like an asshole when you were, in fact acting like an asshole. I'm talking about strengths you had that were demonized to you and in an effort to be a better person you stopped using. Now they've atrophied and you've gotta work them out to get them back. Cause, listen the typical way of navigation ain't gonna work for you. Y'all can continue to roll around and try to get where you wanna go, but it's gonna be slow and a billion times harder. You ever seen an airplane trying to go down a road through town? Think a sec on on how hard that would be. Cause that's you, right now. There are no road maps for the sky, ya know? Y'all are charting your own path. You need to stop trying to make yourself follow the road map for life that others are using. It's not gonna work for you, cause it was never meant to. Y'all are on an unconventional path, the only way forward is to embrace it.

random ass vibes: Back To The Future, coffee, night owl, finding your people, reds oranges and yellows, clouds, libra, cats. Thelma and Louise

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Great BLs That Are REALLY hard to find (but worth tracking down)

You may want to go hunting anyway!

Seven Days

Seven Days: Monday-Thursday

Seven Days: Friday-Sunday

Japan 2015

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

Cherry Magic AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii

Japan 2020

The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great.

Cherry Magic Thailand

Thai 2024

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. I personally like it slightly better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. Also all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be from Thailand.

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Thai 2023

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.

All about the ecstasy and the agony here.

Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de

Japan 2020

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning.

Given

Japan 2021

Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The singing is terrible, fast forward through that but with the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either.

Make a Wish

Thai 2023

A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who tf cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and all the swagger. The cast is excellent even if the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. Definitely recommended.

2 Moons The Ambassador AKA 2 Moons 3

Thai 2022

A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs prior, with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and satisfying to watch than they started out. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples. All that said, I find this show oddly appealing and rewatchable and I have no excuses for that except, I enjoyed it probably more than it deserved. Nostalgia & d**k, it's what's for dinner.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai

Japan 2022

This is a beautiful well acted piece of cinema, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura pines after outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no). If you want something stylish, this is it.

Triage

Thai 2022

BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for the doctor! Unfortunately... stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likable (or unlikable, as required). If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show.

HONORABLE MENTION

Great Men Academy

Thai 2019

Bodyswap involving unicorns turning a teenage girl into a boy makes this questionable as a BL (because, ya know, gender). But the fact remains that James is killer in the lead, and I (who do not like bodyswap) loved this damn show. Look, there is actual plot, hotties at boarding school, "bully the one you love" trope, some weird VR shit, very bad CGI, and yes, the boys end up together... whether they boys or not, so to speak.

Some of these shows may appear on a smaller streaming service, like WeTV, or they may be on a legal platform in your territory. I hope it goes without saying you should check there first.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that went missing (or was added to a platform) after that date.

It's it last in a series the rest of which are:

[fans4wga]

6 December: "Hollywood’s Labor Peace May Be Temporary, as IATSE and Teamsters Gear Up for a Fight"

Writers returned to work two months ago, and the SAG-AFTRA strike has been over for nearly a month. Production has restarted but won’t be back to full strength until mid-January. But even as Hollywood tries to return to normal, dark clouds are forming on the horizon. The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees contract expires on July 31, as does the Basic Crafts contract, which covers the Teamsters. In a period of rising union militancy across industries, it’s not clear whether the Hollywood studios have achieved lasting labor peace or just a temporary truce. “We’re going to be demanding things we believe members deserve for the work they do,” says Lindsay Dougherty, secretary-treasurer of Teamsters Local 399. “We have to fix this stuff. Our members make Hollywood move.”

[Mod note: the article's writer, Gene Maddaus, is generally very anti-union and published a bunch of horrific hit pieces during the strikes, so take the language and quotes in the linked article with many, many grains of salt. Still, worth noting their fear, and that everyone basically expects IATSE and Teamsters to have some pretty intense contract negotiations next year. Let's remember to support their fight for a fair contract just like we supported SAG-AFTRA and WGA!]

[agentc0rn]

Another Pretty Long Character Analysis: Kieran and Nemona - Strength

disclaimer: not claiming this to be objective, just another writing piece full of thoughts done for fun because Kieran is such an interesting, in depth character ever

Okay so I mentioned this in my older post about kieran being the foil of nemona and their shared struggles with being at the top, socially excluded, and how strength as social arbiter displaced them in social settings. Like Kieran, Nemona became overly strong that no one wanted to compete and keep up with. Her passion is misread because of that plus the top statuses she holds as a wealthy multi-talented, high-achieving student. She is a good person and true to herself (her naivety to social cues perhaps is because of her lack of social connections with others). She means well and just want someone to battle with their efforts no matter the outcome and enjoy to the fullest. Battling is her expression of self, her way of enjoyment and connecting with others. Kieran is alike to an extent, with his strength already at a high level (stated by Carmen in the beginning), and his joyous expression seen during our first fight. This is supported by the fact as stated by Drayton how Kieran had fun battling pre-Teal Mask. These two rivals' love for battles run parallel with each other!

However, Kieran's transition reflects a common mindset that artists, athletes, musicians, etc. all resonate with: competitiveness + measure of worth in the things you like the most - you have to be good at them. I feel this strongly as well with art being my major source of passion - I pressured myself into thinking I had to be really good at it and not enjoy for the sake of doing it regardless of skills.

Battling was not only something Kieran liked doing, it was his main source of confidence and self-esteem.

We see that clear in Blueberry Academy, in dialogues and student culture, competitiveness is high, demanding, and brutal. Kieran may have internalized the idea, provided with his insecurity of weakness and his goal to become independent and reliant. Seeing that we were able to defeat him and sister with ease, he grew to admire but also envious of our esteemed strength, how our power seems to be favored by luck (having speical mons like Koraidon), inducing him to believe that if he worked hard, he could get to our level too. To add further, his lifelong admiration of Ogerpon supports his motivation and his aforementioned desire to be stronger. He wanted to be strong and cool as the ogre, not caring what others thought.

What I find interesting is how Kieran and Nemona handles their way of battling with us. Nemona guides you through the journey while challenging herself to learn in new ways - she restarts her journey essentially. For Kieran, even though he has experience, he struggles with the losses against us (confidence issues and again, aside our MC Role, there is some skill difference given that we fought the titans, area zero mons, team star, and gym leaders). He does change up his tactics, but ultimately does not see victory. He ends up restarting in a way back at BB academy. As a result, Kieran becomes more isolated throughout his training arc and his domination in the league. Him strictly calling out others for slacking inadvertently turns him into the fearsome "oni" figure that he idolized and thus earns him an unfavorable reputation as the president (similar status with Nemona) of the League, for instance, a dialogue between two students mentions how how ever since he became champ, the League club became less fun....Despite the contrast of tensity in these circumstances, Nemona is misunderstood in similiar manner with Kieran.

If memory serves correct, Nemona really gets into the battling mood and sometimes forgets about hers and others' limits, but does acknowledge them given a few instances when she does not battle you. Whereas for Kieran, once he entered the extreme zone, he fully devotes himself to strength at the cost of his mental, social and physical well-being. He discards his limits, giving everything he has got that ultimately eats him from the inside. The final scene when he reacts to losing may also show not just his struggle to grasp reality but a literal side effect on his health (no sleep = poor mood, poor thinking)

He desperately clings to the idea that endless training would grant him the guaranteed chance to beat you ("I know I am making the right choice") and no longer enjoys battling. Battling became a constant test of worth, the last and only means of proving himself. Even though he did become stronger, it drained his health, energy, sanity and reputation. Again, in an ironic way, he really became the oni (self filling prophecy).

at the end however, when we reach out to him to be confident in himself, that we needed his help, it gave him that confidence boost. We all believed in him - he really needed that support. Maybe seeing terapagos going berserk had him gain self awareness that he was like that too and how that caused harm to not only himself but to others.

One small thing to point out that he is like Terapagos in a way. Both are small, secluded and strong lads who end up going wayhire with their mass power.

Not to sound corny but I really felt Kieran’s frustration about losing. I was competitive too but soon let go of that. It’s fine to improve yourself but doing that to be better than others as your main reason can really cause burnout. Anyways this is a disorganized list of thoughts I wanted to share but if you read it the entire thing I really do got to say thank you for taking the time to do so.

EDIT: fixed some grammar and stuff because this was just a run-on draft lol

[seawater-aurelia-writing]

Broken { The Break; Chapter 2}

Pairing(s): Fem!MC/Yuu/Reader x TBD

Summary: MC awakens after her fall but the reactions of others make her spiral worse - but not all is as it seems.

WARNINGS

I am not the best at labeling warnings or triggers but I can say that this story is laden with neglect, self-depreciation, self-neglect, anxiety, possible depression and attempts to justify the above. There could be more labels that I can add but i’m unsure how to word them - so please exercise caution.

I liiiiiiiiiiiive! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I restarted this SO many times and yet I could never get it to feel...'right'...So I hope this lives up to yall's expectations! Sorry for the bad summary lol

One last disclaimer though! I have not seen the entirety of Chapter 6 and I have avoided pretty much all content for Chapter 7 as far as i'm aware. So I may not have everyone exactly in character in new things were revealed for them.

When M/C awoke, she half expected to be in the infirmary as she was when she was knocked unconscious during the Magift Tournament. But the other half of her? 

She didn’t expect much. Be it the stillness of the void around her, or the library floor if Professor Trein left her where she fell – there wouldn’t be much difference. It's what usually happened anyway; She could handle her injuries herself if that was the case. However, she supposed there was some form of upside to being in the infirmary. 

If she was left in the void, how else would she know firsthand how she burdened and upset those around her.

‘It’s so late…’ She thought to herself, gazing out of the window across from her bed. She could barely make out the faintest shape of the moon – a crescent. Even the moon was smiling at just how pathetic she had to look at this moment.

“-C. M/C!” 

Why was it so hard for her to hear? Even as she turned her head slowly, moving her eyes to gaze up at the headmaster beside her, it was as if someone had placed her in a tub of mud. She moved so slowly, without much feeling other than a sharp pain as she tried to rest the side of her head down onto the pillow.

“…Hng..”

“Thank goodness, you’ve finally awoken! It’s been two days already! What on earth did you drink to cause you to create such an awful mess of the library?! You know very well that you cannot ...poultices as other students do because of ... Furthermore, I believe I ...use it for research not as ...a playground!” He ranted but his voice faded in and out as he spoke. But why? Why can't I hear him?

Only an idiot would zone out at a time like this.

Crowley sighed, clearly exasperated when she didn’t attempt to speak.

‘He hates that he let you stay here. Who can't do simple chores?He wishes he never helped you.’

“Once you are ...leave, you are to clean up ...the library. Luckily, ...the matter with you ...I can see.” He continued after a moment, his arms folding over his chest as he gazed down at her. Slowly, it became easier to focus but the ringing in her ears never  "Actually...Our nurse is ...but I see no reason ...release you myself."

“…Y-yes…sir.” She rasped, voice dry and hoarse from lack of use.How long had she been unconscious? But again, did it truly matter? But what did that matter? Clearly, the pain in her head wasn’t real and not a sign of something worse. Why should she expect something else?

'He wants you gone.'

'You're taking up space.'

'Stop being selfish.'

'Because you think you're worth more than you are.'

Ace, Deuce and Grim came to visit her that day at lunch just before her release but the visit felt hollow. They laughed and teased her for her clumsiness, even Deuce smiling a bit at the dramatics of Grim, but none seemed to notice the forced smile that M/C put on her face. None noticed how her eyes twitched at the sharp, spike of pain that formed when they grew louder. 

‘They’re only here because they’re forced to be. Stop thinking about yourself.’

'Just smile. Don't make a scene.'

When M/C had been released earlier that day, she was urged straight to attend the final class of that day rather than go straight to Ramshackle. 

‘Please let this go by fast…’ She thought to herself, letting Rook lead the way to their class as the pain in her head continued to grow. M/C closed her eyes for a moment, missing the way Rook glanced back at her and shifted his body to walk closer to her. 'Please...'

Yet it did not. 

MC felt as if she was on autopilot as she sat in class, sluggishly marking notes where needed and nodding along with the lecture but nothing seemed to sink in, no matter how many times she willed herself to focus in. Rook would boisterously comment on things, his voice jolting her to the present long enough for her to gaze at him and then the teacher before her focus waned once more.

‘You’re so needy.’ Why couldn’t she just move past her little incident? Everyone else already had moved past it, so it clearly wasn’t very important. She had no right to wish that others worry about her. They had bigger things to worry about, more important things to focus on.

Right?

‘Why can’t you handle this on your own?” Why couldn’t she? It was only one day just like the others! It wasn’t even hard! Ruggie had gone without meals more than she had! So obviously, she was just exaggerating. Vil had more things to worry about than she did including an actual career! What right did she have to complain about doing a few favors?

‘You’re pathetic.’

‘A waste of space.’

‘What good is someone who screws up a simple thing?’

‘No one cares.’

‘You’re replaceable.’

‘Forgettable.’

As class ended, MC prepared for her cycle to begin once more and so it did. Rather than go to  dinner, Kalim latched onto MC the moment she was out of the classroom. The pain in her head returned full force with his boisterous volume right beside her ear but she still smiled. 

He offered to help the next time she went to the library since he knew ladders were tricky. 

‘They aren’t tricky. He’s pitying you’

“Kalim, leave her alone. She needs to rest.” Jamil finally said after a few minutes, his eyes not leaving her  as he spoke. He almost seemed to study her before adding, “She isn’t looking well.”

‘Pathetic.’

“Huh,? Oh right! I’m sorry! Go, go rest up! We can plan a group dinner later!” Kalim practically beamed before ushering her away from the cafeteria despite Grim’s many protests and her own stumbling feet.

“B-But -” 

 But they were already on Main Street by the time MC attempted to speak. Why was she always so hesitant when it came to these things? She barely uttered a word in the entire conversation and despite Jamil’s eyes on her, it was as if she wasn’t really a part of the conversation. Just a figure meant to listen but not contribute. 

Always there but never meant to fully be there.

MC didn’t register her body moving as she went towards the direction of Ramshackle, her form practically shrinking in on itself as they went. Grimm was rambling on and on as he floated beside her, while she let her body guide her on a path she had now memorized. 

“…Just…pathetic…” She mumbled, one hand coming up to grasp at the other elbow. That’s what she was, wasn’t she? She didn’t stand out other than being magicless but even then people seemed to forget. No one cared that she couldn’t magically make a situation better, but they expected her to do it anyway. Just like no one seemed to care about her wellbeing but they expected her to always be okay. Thoughts of Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, and Vil drifted into her mind - how each of them experienced their own breaks during the Overblots, how they opened up about what hurt them, how everyone listened and tried to help them. She thought about how Crowley actually brought in special healers and therapists just for them for weeks after their incidents and how they still have check-ins with him to ensure they’re on the right track. 

Where was that for her? Her body couldn’t produce magic, she couldn’t  Overblot to make others realize how badly she was hurt mentally, physically, emotionally. She couldn’t voice her worries because who would listen? Even when she tried to warn her friends about the smallest of dangers, they simply brushed her off. Her words didn’t matter; so why would her thoughts matter.

‘Is that it?’ She wondered, a sudden cold feeling filling her form. What if she truly was the issue? Why was she so focused on having her thoughts and feelings acknowledged when she knew that all others wanted was for her to help them? They are all more important than her pathetic emotions, right? They have a life and future here in their world and it’s clear she’s just an anomaly who may never return to where she was once from. Was she - overvaluing herself? Was it all-

“It’s your fault, you know!” Grimm yelled suddenly, directly in front of her.

MC stopped suddenly, a cold chill rushing through her body at the words. Her fingernails slowly began digging into her skin as she looked into Grim’s eyes. “W-what?”

“It’s your fault!! You know, I had to do cleaning duty!” He complained, his little paws resting on his hips as he scowled. “I wanted to pick up some of that discount tuna before Ruggie got all of it but I was roped into cleaning! Not to mention those creepy twins came at me about something you forgot! And you forgot the library today! I'm not cleaning that just because you're lazy and took a fall! You’re my henchman, not the other way around! Don’t be selfish! ”

M/C this. M/C that. Clean the weeds. Fetch my things. Deliver this. Talk to this person. Clean this, clean that. Keeping busy, always busy.

'It's for the best. They have other things to focus on-'

She stopped walking, her head hurting more and more, as if a little thing was smashing cauldrons over and over against her brain. Her heart joined the rhymed pounding so hard, she gripped her chest in a vain attempt to calm it.

"Stop-" She gasped but couldn't say more as she stepped back, her throat clenching.

'They are more important. Don't deny it'

'They will never care about you.'

'You don't belong here.'

“I know as the Great Magician that I am, that I need to carry the both of us since you're useless without magic but you need to watch it with the - huh? MC?!” Grimm continued, his tone shifting to something MC didn’t want to hear – something she couldn’t hear.

She backed away, one step and then two before rushing off towards the entrance gates of the College. Not once looking back.

Her surroundings blurred as she ran, not taking into account where she was truly going - just knowing that she had to get away, far away. From the Grim, from all of the others, from Night Raven College, from everything.She just wanted it all to go away!

'Useless.'

'Magicless.'

‘Selfish’

"Stop! Stop it!" She sobbed, her breath catching in her throat. Her chest began to hurt more than her head caused her to stagger in her stride. M/C felt herself tumble down and crash down a slope, the brush scratching her as she went down before she hit something hard and frigid. 

She sobbed as the thoughts continued to repeat in her head; Every overblot, every chore, every demand, every reprimand, every expectation, and every sign of disappointment. Why was she truly like this? She wasn’t good for anything but menial tasks due to her lack of magic and still she can’t do any of that right. 

“Make it stop, make it stop, makeitstop…”

She didn’t know how long she laid there, nor how long she was sobbing, begging and screaming for the pain to go away, for the thoughts to go away. The pain in her head only grew the more she cried, and as it grew  - so did that pain and tightness in her chest.

‘Useless.’

‘Useless!’

‘USELE-’

Until the darkness took her under again.

But unlike before - the chill of the darkness grew stronger and more intense until it was the only thing she was able to feel. Just as the voices were the only thing she was able to hear. Repeating their words over and over, in a hell that she couldn’t wake up from.

After what seems like ages, a gradual warmth began to seep into  the darkness around her. A spreading, far reaching feeling spreading across her body but oddly focused around her back and under her legs. 

‘What is…’ She wondered as another sensation came to her slowly, a rocking kind of motion accompanied by a lightness. It reminded her of the gentle swaying of the waves of Coral Sea but was swiftly ruined by the sound of harsh thunder reigniting the pain in her head. A flash of brilliant light flashed across her eyelids, causing her to whimper.

“Are…-ake, dear?” A familiar, deep voice crooned, not loud enough to hurt her head any further but enough for her to hear it clearly.

‘This voice…I know it…I..Why is he-’

‘You’re wasting his time.’

“Shhh, your heart…racing again. You…it’s Lillia…Focus on my breathing, little one.” Lillia’s voice soothed, as the rocking motion slowed - was she being carried? M/C registered the warmth tightening around her slightly as her breath quickened unintentionally.  “Shhh, focus…. You can do it. Think of nothing else but my voice and deep breaths.”

It took what felt like ages before M/C was able to focus on the steady rise and fall of her head in time with Lillia’s breathing. The ache in her chest lightened but the pain in her head did not, only worsening as she attempted to open her eyes. Another flash of lightning, red eyes and furrowed brows.

“It’s best if your eyes remain closed. The storm will only worsen the pain of your concussion.” Lillia remarked, just before more thunder rumbled. “ You worried us all, dear. Especially dear Malleus.”

“C-concussion? B-but I…don’t have a-” She mumbled, turning her head to hide from the storm before a thought flashed through her mind. “T-The library! I didn’t clean i-”

“You will not be cleaning anything nor doing any chores for the foreseeable future, little one.” Lillia cut her off quickly, his soft voice containing a firmer tone than she was used to hearing. “You are injured and have been pushing yourself too hard. Far harder than you should have.”

‘He knows you can’t do it. That’s why he said that.’

‘He knows you’re pathetic.’

“No, n-no I’m not. It’s fine. If anything I need to push harder, heh.” She forced out a laugh, attempting to lighten the atmosphere but Lillia merely sighed.  “I-It’s nothing really!”

“You’ve barely been eating, little one. Silver told me as such and I witnessed it myself; We were going to ensure you ate this evening but you didn’t show. In addition, you’ve been having more accidents than usual and have been unfocused. You. Are.Exhausted.”

“No, it’s fine. I just, if I just finish this one thing then it’s fine. I-I can clean the library super fast and it’s all okay!” She pressed, fighting the urge to cry once more. Had her screw ups been that apparent? She didn’t mean to; She was doing her best!

“But it’s never just one thing, is it?” M/C faintly registered the sound of his shoes upon cobblestone, were they back on campus?  “After this, then there’s another favor that’s asked of you, another assignment, another mess to clean. But – have you had time for yourself, little one?”

“…I-I do at night I have-“ The words trailed off as she tried to think of something. She did have time to herself at night but it was never for long, especially when her thoughts would become so loud or she would get those odd dreams of things she swears she’s seen but can’t fully remember. 

“But you live with Grim,yes? Who boasts about how tidy you keep your shared room…so I can only wonder how much alone time you get in there at all.” He hummed,and for a brief moment MC felt the brush of something soft and silken brush her face. Lilia seemed to shift slightly, curling into her  before the gently swaying became an airy sensation, like she was adrift but his warmth continued to steady her.

“…”

“And let us not forget that Malleus often takes his nightly walks in your area; Often alongside you, yes?  He’s told us that he’s seen lights on in Ramshackle as late as the early morning hours even after he’s escorted you home.”

“Ramshackle…isn’t my home.” She mumbled, her eyes growing hot and tears welled within. “This isn’t my home, I don’t belong and that’s why this doesn’t matter. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me; you have better things-”

“Do you know what’s the scariest thing in the world?”

“Huh?”

Lilia’s voice was low as he continued to speak, “Asking for help. You have to open yourself up and admit to yourself and someone else that you need help. That you need someone there to help you stand until you get your footing once again. There’s not many people who can open themselves up to doing that. Magically inclined or not.”

MC thinks of everyone who asks her for help. “No one seems to have that issue here…”

“They do love to ask you for things but not for those matters that are oh-so  troubling to them. Most would rather keep to themselves and allow their thoughts to consume them before they incite their pleas. Does that sound familiar?”

MC bit her lip, her eyes opening partially as her tears finally began to fall. She vaguely noticed the dim setting around them, but nothing was truly familiar as her tears blurred her sight. “All of you already have so much to worry about and futures to plan and…it’s just…better if I don’t ask.”

“And what, praytell, about your future, little one?” Lilia pressed as MC shakily used her hands to wipe her tears away.

“I…don’t think I have one. I don’t have magic so I can’t really….. I’m a magic-less student in a magically-based academy – how am I even going to use what I’m being taught? I’m just pathetic and worthless-.”

“Enough. I refuse to listen to you slander yourself in such a way, Child of Man.”

MC tensed as Malleus’s voice rang out firm from somewhere in front of Lilia and herself. She slowly parted her fingers, blinking so as to get a clear peek between them but quickly came to wish she hadn’t. She wished she could go back to that unknown area where Lilia had taken her from and just melt there where she wouldn’t have to deal with what was in front of her and the implications it all held.

Standing before her, in the main room of Ramshackle Dorm, were the Dorm Leaders , Grim and Sam with various expressions across their faces. -----------------------------taglist-------------------------------

@mamushroomoracorn | @sailor-pom | @secondb0rn | @honey-deerling-oc | @valerieelizablack | @hanafubukki |@houseoftitans | @butterscotch-babie | @thai | @alextheknight707 | @starshiningsirius | @vanrougette | @valerieelizablack | @cherrysamasama | @over-active-daydreamer | @tanspostsblog | @pineapple-coco | @silvsilvysilver | @diu0sanr | @amoresdarlene | @alankorex | @thehomosexualsupportingcast | @formerstands | @yourunsearc | @twst-rui | @StarryOne23

[greenhorn-art]

World Champions | Artwork for World Champions by TheDefenestrator by TheDefenestrator, art by Blurb_brain

Fandom: The King's Avatar | 全职高手

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Words: 71 944

At the end of season 4 of the Glory Pro Alliance, the government finally receives the information it has been waiting for: The other players have caught up. Or, In which Glory has been a government recruitment ploy for remote-piloted mecha operators all along.

About the Book

FONTS: Mundo Serif, Azonix [dafont], Segoe UI Symbol

IMAGES: Illustration by Blurb_brain [AO3]; cover image by NASA ID: 440611 [Rawpixel]; Planet Earth background ID: 6331593 [Rawpixel]; Circuit lines background ID: 3117935 [Rawpixel]; endpapers' image by Eric Eastman [Unsplash]; Swoksaar, Desert Dust, Lord Grim, Vaccaria, and Cloud Piercer [The King's Avatar Wikia]

MATERIALS: regular printer paper (8.5"x11", 96 bright, 20lb), 80pt bookboard, Iris Bookcloth (colour: Black Pearl), Neenah cardstock (8.5"x11", bright white, 65lb), waxed linen thread (white, 30/3 size), embroidery floss (shades 3750, 350, 3845, 370), leather cording (1.9mm diameter), Reeves’ acrylic paint (Mars Black, Phthalo Blue, Titanum White), Americana acrylic paint (glow in the dark), ph neutral pva glue (Books by Hand)

PROGRAMS USED: Typeset in Affinity Publisher, cover/title page/endpapers designed in Affinity Designer/Photo, QR codes generated with LibreOffice Writer, PDF arranged for printing with Bookbinder-JS

BINDING STYLE: quarto, case bound (slightly rounded, with oxford hollow, forgot to use tapes)

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Fenes' "Glory's tech isn't handwaved" AU. This was great! Funny and creative, and I'm both amazed and full of admiration for Fenes' ability to juggle so many characters.

I was feeling excited and ambitious with this one. Tried some new fun things (double core endbands, painted edges) and used some new equipment (a lying press).

The Text

TITLE/HEADINGS FONT: Azonix says 'SciFi' to me, it's a bold, non-serif, sleek font.

BODY FONT: Mundo Serif, it's a decent serif body font I haven't used before. Felt like it worked with Azonix.

SCENE BREAKS: a special character in Segoe UI Symbol of a black & white icon of Earth, the globe showing Asia.

TYPESETTING: Finished typesetting the fic, left document open on my laptop, laptop's battery failed, file now crashes immediately upon reopening, issue persists with copied versions of file (；￣Д￣) . Thankfully I had a backup file for the typeset with the barebones of the text, so I didn't have to restart from scratch...

Title Page

My thinking: it takes place in space, the world's at stake, and it's the dawn of a new horizon for Earth. Glory and the titular champions are represented by Swoksaar, Desert Dust, Lord Grim, Vaccaria, and Cloud Piercer – the captains of what I'd call the 'big 5' teams. A circuitry board background element hints at the tech/mecha nature of the story's competition. It may not match Blurb's art, but I hope I was able to convey some of what the story is about.

The circuitry image is used as decoration throughout the book. I only used the avatars of the top five teams' captains because too many silhouettes would lessen their impact and readability. (Removing the backgrounds was tedious, but worth it.)

Here's what it should have looked like. The test prints for this and the BB art were fine, but I think my inkjet started running out of ink just when I printed the final copies and I didn't reprint them. (Too impatient, really wanted to finish up and read the book)

The Cover

World Champions is another Big Bang fic, and once again I based some of my design choices off of the accompanying artwork. The dominant colours of Blurb_brain's illustration are red and blue-green.

COVER PAPER: For the decorative cover material I used NASA's ASTER image of Poyang Lake. NASA has some really interesting photography some of which remind me of marbled paper, thought it could be interesting. I chose this image of Poyang Lake because 1) it's in China, 2) the colours were similar to Blurb's awesome illustration (fate strikes again, dropping matching images and artwork into my lap!), and 3) NASA is tangentially relevant to the fic, which takes place in space.

BOOKCLOTH: Verona bookcloth in the shade Black Pearl, a lovely dark navy blue colour. Thought it suited the cover paper and title page. (Bought it for this fic specifically, but the colour goes well with almost all of my decorative papers so it should see a lot of use in the future!)

Endpapers

The final decision that held this project at a standstill for two months. In the end I drew inspiration from the matchups against the final opponent in the story. The image I used is a little chaotic and a little too unrelated to identify why I picked it without an explanation, but this book is for me and I know why, so there. (Note that I played around with the colours and cropped the photo.)

Endpaper inspiration: the maps for the matches against the Infilhites

"a long bridge through an enormous tube-like hall, where light seem to come from every side through stained glass windows. It was visually confusing, limited lateral motion" "a warehouse, crates stacked on and beside metal racks that went all the way to the ceiling." "a house of mirrors, fully enclosed to be sure the Infhillte couldn’t fly out of it." "like a volcano, rivers of lava moving sluggishly down a slope, occasional vents of overheated air nearby." "a series of overlapping bridges between halls and stairways, level after level layered over an open abyss."

Trimming & Painting the Edges

Going all out, a 2-for1 deal: the opportunity to use my lying press for the first time and learn a new technique!

TRIMMING: Used a paring chisel and lying press.

CHISEL: The 1.25" wide paring chisel I used was form a modern manufacturer. (Vintage paring chisels are very thin, enough so that you can bend/flex the blade. But don't do that.) It's long and wide blade made it easier to register against the surface of the press for consistent cuts. Looks like this one below from Lee Valley.

LYING PRESS: My dad's project. Solid black walnut, hand carved screws and internal threads — he even made the tools to make the threads too! The jaws of the press are each 3 7/8" wide. It's big and heavy (though much smaller than full-sized professional ones omg), but there's enough of a flat surface to register the chisel against. A thicc boi, much like this one below from Bookbinding Supplies.

PAINTED EDGES: The idea was to have dark navy edges, speckled with white stars. I used acrylic from a tube to paint the edges — tutorials recommended it over liquid bottled acrylic, and I had an old set hanging around. Had to water it down because otherwise the paint just flaked off.

My test of trimming and painting went well. Then the trimmed book itself came out slightly crooked, the paint required significantly more watering-down than before, and the white paint did not want to be both opaque and speckle-able. Unfortunate, but still book-shaped! And now I have an idea of what to do differently next time.

Also, did not like the glow-in-the-dark paint. Looked too translucent in the light when compared to the white acrylic, and needed a thicker coat to be visible in the dark. (The thickness combined with the translucence and base colour kinda reminded me of boogers... Ended up scrapping most of it off, so there's not much left to glow.)

Endbands

Still in the mood to have fun and go all-out, I attempted double-core endbands for the first time.

TUTORIAL: YouTube @ BookbindersChronicle: Bookbinding 101 Sewing Headbands Session 2. Also watched @ DAS Bookbinding's Double-Core Endband // Adventures in Bookbinding, but I personally found Chronicle's closeup video easier to follow.

I used embroidery floss from a 100pk of assorted colours off Amazon, wrapped around a core of 1.9mm leather cording from Michaels. I drew from Blurb_brain's art for the general colours, choosing a dark base, with red, blue-green, and gold. The specific shades were picked to go with the cover.

[grison-in-space]

sorry I know this was not your point in the intersex post but I was wondering how you deal with your facial hair? I'm a cis woman and have lots of chin and facial hair (not to mention absurd body hair, as well as progressive hair loss on my head) and it's been pretty devastating for my self esteem. I have never been a beauty and now that chronic illness and age is catching up to me I have a hard time not feeling subhuman (the debilitating anxiety does not help).

My doctor insists I don't have PCOS and that my hormones are normal after multiple tests and 2nd opinions I've gotten have said the same. I tried laser and it seemed to make it worse, and I liked electrolysis and did many sessions over six months but it's not affordable to me at the moment and it seems it's all grown back? But it's been a few years so maybe it's just new growth. I am hoping to restart the electrolysis if I ever get close to having a comfortable financial situation again lol.

I find shaving it feels awful, the stubble is painful and I have a five o clock shadow like 2 hours later, but spending 30 minutes plucking every day is also not fun. Waxing just always rips off my skin and misses enough hairs to be annoying, even when I've gotten it professionally done.

It's absolutely driving me mad but it feels like I have no options to do anything about it.

I am so sorry, Anon: the chin and neck hair hits me in a bad sensory place as much as or more so than the visual side of it, so I compulsively pluck it as it appears. (I pretty much ignore everywhere else.)

My experience with laser hair was that it at least lightened and softened the hairs that were produced where I had it as a teenager, which makes plucking feel less necessary. Occasionally I contemplate one of those at home laser hair kits, but I've never actually gotten around to grabbing one.

That said, the level of androgenization you're describing is absolutely high enough to be worth seeking care for. Check whether your insurance has provisions for gender affirming care. You may also be a good candidate for spironolactone (for the thinning hair) or HRT, particularly if you're post menopausal. You're probably still going to be grappling with hair until you can do another electrolysis or laser session, but those should help you with keeping facial hair from coming back.

Have you seen a dedicated endocrinologist? It's also worth seeking an expert opinion, because the specific suite of symptoms you're describing certainly do sound like something unusual is going on whether or not it's PCOS.

[demonfox38]

This is a fearsome time. I can't tell you not to be afraid. But, I can say the following:

Study ants marching on the street. Watch cats bicker, then cuddle. Acknowledge the delicate dance drivers take to keep vehicle traffic moving. Give more room in your mind to polite partners than the rude ones. Know that there was coordinated life before you, and that there will be coordinated life after you. There may even be coordination now, if you can see it.

If your mind fights you, let it run the course of its tantrum. Comfort it while it rests. Like a child, it will grow and mature. It may come to care for you, but only if you try to love it first.

Things fall apart. Sometimes, they can be fixed. It just depends on whether or not you have the time, effort, skill, and materials to fix it. Maybe, what you're willing to do to get what you are missing.

If destruction of the self is all you can see fit—if you are willing to sacrifice your relationships, your possessions, and your very life to escape the anguish you are feeling—it is better to run than to end everything. Start again, as best as you can. Keep restarting. Be a weed. Bloom and bloom again.

If you cannot let go of these things—your family, your friends, your pets, or your various little comforts—then fight for them. Struggle. Scream. Be obnoxious. Accept the backlash and pain that may come. Pay for your treasures what they are worth.

I don't want to start a fight or invite someone's ire. Hell, I don't even want to end this seriously. But, I do want you to hang in there. Be the kind of loving, thoughtful, and resilient person that you and this world needs. Do what you can to end the doom spiral in your mind and in society at large, if you get the time and energy to help with that.

Maybe go get a slice of pizza first.

[fizziepopangel]

A Fizziepop Take: Let's talk about Blitz's new look at Stolas

Ok, so in the past, I’ve talked about how the incident at Ozzie’s put more strain on an already fragile relationship, thus solidifying the idea a certain imp had in his mind that he was essentially beneath Stolas in every way he possibly could be and therefore unworthy of love. This ideology made the relationship between the pair appear strictly transactional since Blitz wouldn’t let it be anything else because he himself feels that that’s how it should be; that it’s all it could be. Now don’t get me wrong, Stolas isn’t completely innocent in making the whole relationship feel more like a transaction than a relationship, but in this instance, we’re gonna focus on Blitz and what I believe his turn around will be based off this newest episode because I believe that it could be a game-changer for their relationship and Blitz’s own character development. So let’s get into it!

As I’ve pointed out previously, Blitz has felt like he’s been used as a glorified sex toy since the beginning of their relationship. And given the hierarchy of the demons, Blitz is already pretty low on the totem being an imp while Stolas sits somewhere on top…. We can see that Blitz understands that when he’s tripping balls in “Truth Seekers”, but because of this, it seems that Blitz got it in his mind that Stolas was less than ‘human’ (for lack of a better term). Because of the status difference, Blitz always just assumed the other demon was unfeeling, uncaring, and essentially indestructible; building this image of the demon prince in his head that is a romanticized version of him that truly was worlds above where Blitz sees himself. And until “Western Energy” came out today, this is really the only version we’re shown of Stolas because we seem to be seeing the man the way Blitz does. Is he whiny? Sometimes. But do things hurt him? From Blitz’s point of view, no. 

We as the audience see maybe two or three times where Stolas is truly vulnerable but it seems to end just as quickly as it starts. Blitz doesn’t see that side of him. Granted, I believe Stolas does want a relationship with Blitz where he can be vulnerable in ways he never was able to before and because he has a preconceived notion of what their relationship is, Blitz shuts down any attempt Stolas tries to initiate intimacy… But I think in the imp doing this and Stolas just blindly going with it to try to appease Blitz has given the image of someone made of stone… And being so used to the abuse from Stella, Stolas doesn’t see that he’s almost restarting the cycle with Blitz by allowing the imp to be as mean as he is to him; even going as far as to tell Blitz through text that he can be mean to him if it’s what he wants. I think this genuinely leads Blitz to believe that Stolas can't be hurt in any way, emotionally to physically.

In all honesty, it’s interesting to look at Blitz in this light where he seems to unintentionally be another abusive relationship that Stolas is trapping himself in because you can see that the imp does genuinely care for the owl, even if he thinks he shouldn’t. That is why the incident at Ozzie’s was such a big deal to him, because after some time, I think Blitz was slowly trying to open himself up to Stolas and whatever little progress he made was pretty much crushed when Stolas basically refused to acknowledge the fact that he’s out with him in public when confronted. For someone like Blitz who struggles with communication and bases their self worth on how others view him, Stolas not wanting to be seen with him in public but being kind to him when no one else is around would have destroyed every sense of security he may have been starting to feel with the other man. Like just shredded it. Which in turn, is going to cause a rift that Blitz will rationalize as just him not being worth anything more even though he is actively contributing to the rift by refusing to communicate.

Now, the interesting part: in the newest episode of Helluva Boss, Blitz actually has a chance to view a more humanized idea of Stolas. It sucks that it took Stolas being damn near murdered and hospitalized for Blitz to see him on a different level, but it does happen. I think this in turn may give us a more freely feeling version of Blitz down the line. We can already see small fragmented moments when Blitz is genuinely worried about Stolas, genuinely cares about him, but he still keeps himself distant…. Seeing something bad happen to Stolas does open the man up a little, prompting him to text the man while he’s in the hospital to let him know that he hopes he feels better. Despite how minor that may seem, I think it is a step in the right direction, and I do think he’ll see a more personified version of Stolas which could prompt him to want to be closer to him, meaning he would have to stop pushing his feelings down to allow himself to wander into this territory of emotional vulnerability he may have seen but never experienced.

While I trust Vivzie completely in this journey she’s taking us on, this is definitely a route I really hope she takes because I truly do want to see the two men get a happy ending of some sort whether that’s at the end of the series or it advances their storyline together through the rest of the series.  But this is just a Fizzie take on things so far. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on how Blitz and Stolas’ relationship seems to be going.

[eldritch-spouse]

While Belo is going through a heat I’ll play this - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oKrQ2tVMoeQ - this coo + ‘owa’ sound is apparently a call used to attract a mate.

Does Belo make any angel-cooing sounds during a heat or is he just clingy? What other ways are there to lure in a celestial 😏?

That's definitely more than a little insulting, don't let him catch you playing that. He's no dove or pigeon!

While an angel's cooing and crooning is much softer and ethereal in quality, they do have a sort of call that's along the same rhythm. So, when Belo is in the throes of his rut, he may instinctively look at you as if assuming you're attempting to mimic his cries.

The result of this is Belo puffing his chest to a humorous degree, his pupils swallowing his eyes, and unfolding both his wings, restarting his crooning and expecting you to repeat it to him, or make your own.

More than clingy, as a warrior type, he's very on the defensive and refuses to settle down. That's his biggest flaw during rut actually, Belo just won't rest. He insists he needs to be in your vicinity. This doesn't immediately translate into touch (even if he's fucking dying to glue himself to you), he just needs to see you.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that celestials used to be manually paired by siadar, especially matchmakers like Miara once was, they don't really court each other. They have instincts, of course, but thanks to that cognitive disconnect regarding intent, it's hard to purposely lure them to you.

Perhaps the best thing a human can try is to sing, especially if you have a nice vocal range and can reach certain high or intense tones/pitches. It's worth mentioning angels will gravitate to the sound of certain instruments like pianos, harps, violins, flutes, ocarinas and a few others.