#it makes me wanna rip my heart out and feed it to the wolves

[mikurinkuwu]

the beef i have with lenku must be studied

[darkmulti]

I see your request is open for hc yay!

Can i request A!JKxO!Reader where jK has a huge dick and reader is a virgin and also his mate. So JK marries her and forcefully deflowered her and forcing orgasms out of her (bleeding/blood play while deflowering her is up to you). She found out JK’s obsessions of forcing orgasms out of hers until she passed out every night. JK also has a breeding and breastfeeding kink so he wanna knock her up just so he can breastfeed on her. He locked her up, all the time he spends with her is used to breed her while forcing as many orgasms out of her. Ok thats too long of an ask, sorry.. 🥺 thanks! 💜

-> I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH SHAUSHSHS

⚠️: NON CON, mention of blood, breeding kink, breast feeding kink, multiple orgasm, dacryphilia kink, angst, death, murder, slapping, somnophilia kink, rough sex

Pairing: Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!Virgin!reader

-> sorry for any mistakes

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Your breed and Jungkook’s breed are not on good terms

The reason why is because your breed have better senses and are a lot stronger

Jungkook’s breed is the second strongest and let me tell you, they don’t like second place

Since they outdo your breed in numbers, they travel around in large packs and kill wolves your kind

If they eliminate all of you, they’ll be on top

Your parents raised you to stay away from them

They’re just trying to keep you safe because you’re their only child

They allowed you to explore the forest, but you couldn’t go too far

They still needed to be able to smell you out

You’re parents also told you howl if you felt like you were in danger

And you can only explore during the day time

Once it’s night, you must stay close to your parents so they can protect you

One day, you were sitting close to edge of a cliff

This was your favourite spot because it gave the perfect view of the sun setting

10 minutes later, you decided to go back to your pack only to be horrified by the scene

Your pack… everyone was dead

Blood everywhere

Bite marks all over their body

You walked into the crime scene more and saw your parents dead on the ground, next to each other

You immediately burst out into tears, not believing what you’re seeing

“Mom! Mom, please! Wake up!” You nudged her but it was too late

You sat down in between your parents and grieved the whole night

Why couldn’t they kill you too?

You were about to close your eyes but, caught an unfamiliar scent

Your natural instincts kicked in and you got up

You started looking around but that’s when something attacked you from behind

You fall to the ground and knock out after they give you one hard blow to the head

The next morning, you woke up in a bed

You frantically looked around, trying to put the pieces together, but that’s when he popped out of no where

His scent didn’t fail to reach you and once you inhaled it, you remembered all the traumatizing events of last night

Your heart rate increased and you immediately started to panic

“Where’s my mom?! Where am I?! Take me home!”

You started to freak out

“My mom told me to stay away from monsters like you! Leave me alone!”

You let out a piercing howl and made a run for it

However, Jungkook was faster and much, much stronger

He got a hold of your wrist and dragged you back to the room

He quickly pulled out his phone and shoved it in your face

You were squirming around at first but once you heard a familiar cry, you stopped

Jungkook was showing you live footage of wolves your breed, tied up god knows where and howling for help

Your heart crumbled into a million pieces

“W-why are you doing this to us?” You choked on your sobs while watching your breed beg for mercy

“Marry me, and I’ll let them go.”

You looked at him, appalled

“Marry? I won’t marry you. After you killed my family, you want to get married?!”

You pushed him away from you and slapped him

Jungkook poked his cheek with his tongue and quickly dialed a number

“Kill them all.”

You look up wide eyed and shouted “No!”

“You don’t wanna marry me so, now I have to kill them.”

“Wait! No! I’ll marry you! Please set them free!”

Jungkook smirked in victory and told his buddies to stop

“Wedding is tomorrow. Everything is planned, all you have to do is get all dolled up for me and say “I do.”

He left your room as you sat down on the edge of the bed, wiping your tears away

The next day was the worst day of your life

They woke you up early so, they could start getting you ready for the wedding

Once you said “I do” at the alter and signed the paper, Jungkook lips turned into a evil grin

After sealing your marriage with your first kiss, Jungkook drove you both back to your new house

Once you got inside you turned around and faced him

“I did what you asked. I got married to you and now, I’m your mate. You got what you wanted. Now show me live footage that you’re letting the wolves go.”

“You’re so cute, y’know? You really fell for it. The footage wasn’t live. Those wolves have been dead for a while. I could show you the footage of me killing them, if you’d like.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach

“What do you mean? It wasn’t real?!”

“You’re so naive, little one.”

You look at him, dumbfounded

“Why did you kill all of them? Why did you kill my pack? I just don’t understand. Why did you kill all of them just to marry me in the end?”

“Lower your voice, I don’t like being talked to in that way.”

“Go fuck yourself!” You yelled and turned around to leave

He pulled you back and carried you downstairs to the basement while you kept thrashing and yelling

“Let me go, you sick bastard! I don’t want to be near you. Your scent is disgusting!”

You made the worst mistake of your life that night

That was the first time you made him angry

He tried controlling himself but, after you insulted his scent, he wasn’t going to go easy on you

One hard slap after another shut you up pretty quickly

Now, you were terrified of him

Your cheeks were warm and stinging as hot tears glided down

All you could think was “why?”

Why was this happening to you?

Why was only your breed being targeted?

Why did he kill all those wolves?

It mentally tore you apart

You couldn’t wrap your head around anything going on

Before you could fight back, Jungkook got on top of you and pulled your dress down

“W-what’re you doing?!” You quickly grab your dress and struggled to keep it up

“No! No, please! I’m not ready! Please, I’m not ready! I hate you!”

You began to panic, so naturally you howled

“Please! I want my first to be someone I love! Please, don’t do this to me! I’ve never done anything bad in my life! You can kill me if you’d like!”

Crying and fighting wasn’t enough to stop Jungkook

He pushed his whole length in and started fucking you hard without letting you adjust

You frantically cover your breast and private part with your hands but he flipped you around and took you from behind

You felt disgusting and worthless

Your blood was streaming down your thigh and it covered his cock

Jungkook grabbed your ripped wedding dress and wiped up all the blood so, you’ll never forget this day

He threw it in front of you to make you feel even more bad about yourself

You looked away from the dress and focused on your breathing

The speed he was going at was unbearable therefore, it was quite hard to catch your breath

You started to cry for help, calling for anyone who was brave enough to save you

Jungkook’s size wasn’t easy to adjust to

It felt like you were being ripped apart

Especially because it was your first time

“P-please! S-slower! I can’t-”

Your voice cracked in between your sobs

You felt his cock grow inside of you and his tip began rubbing against your cervix

The pain was too much to handle so, you started to cry harder

“No! Too much! I can’t take it!” You wailed, trying to move away from him

He pulled you right back and went as deep as he possibly could

You came around him and thought it was over

Little did you know, it was just the beginning

Hours later, you were under him sobbing hysterically

You were filled with his cum to the point where it was leaking out of you

There was literally a puddle of cum in between your legs

You had bruises all over your arms and body because of his tight grip

And his strong scent made your head spin

You were a helpless, mess

Hickeys covered your neck, collarbone and jawline

Your lips were swollen from all the rough kisses

Your clit was burning from overstimulation

Your cheek was red and bruised

But, Jungkook didn’t plan on stopping

You felt like you were going to pass out when suddenly ripples of forced pleasure pushed through your body

You held your breath and tried fighting off the feeling but it was impossible

You started to cry more, not being able to handle the fierce orgasm

You sobbed uncontrollably, not know what was happening to your body

Before you could open your eyes again, you passed out

Jungkook hovered over you again and fucked you 10x harder after watching you spasm around him

He didn’t care that you were unconscious

You looked so hot in that moment, he couldn’t resist

This continued on for the rest of the year until he purposely impregnated you

If his offspring had a mix of his genes and a mix of your genes, it’d definitely be one of the strongest wolves to ever live

You were crying so hard, telling him to stop because you weren’t on anything

After you found out you were pregnant, he blamed it on you

“You have one fucking job and it was to take your pill.”

“I ran out of pills and I told you that night! I told you to stop. Jungkook, I tried my best to warn you but you didn’t listen-”

He pushed you back on the bed and forced another orgasm out of you, not caring about your pregnancy

You couldn’t fight him off so, you stayed still and hoped for the best

You didn’t want to stress out because it would be bad for your baby

Although you were pregnant, Jungkook demanded sex

Even when you were 8 months pregnant, he still fucked you as hard as he could

You were in so much pain but handled it for your child

The next month, you gave birth

You were obviously new to the mom life and it was quite difficult to adjust

Usually, women have to wait 4-6 weeks before engaging in sexual intercourse

The doctor explained it to both you and Jungkook, so it’s not like he doesn’t know

After you breast feed your newborn son, you tuck him into bed and go to your shared bedroom

You were still in a lot of pain and really wanted some rest

Jungkook was out hunting and when he came home, he was a bit intoxicated

You smelt the alcohol the moment he stepped in the house

He stumbled his way upstairs and slammed the door shut, scaring your newborn

Your son started to cry so you quickly got up to put him back to sleep but Jungkook didn’t allow you

“See what you’ve done? You wouldn’t have to deal with this shit if you had just taken your pill.”

You ignored him and went to your son’s room to put him back to sleep

Jungkook followed you to his room and pulled you out before you could pick up your son

“Did you listen to what I said? I’m fed up with this attitude of yours.”

“Let’s not fight in front of him. We’ll talk in the room.”

You escaped his grip and put your son back to sleep

When you enter your room, you see Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed with his belt in hand 

Your heart dropped to your stomach

“N-not today. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet.”

He scoffed, “do you really think I give a shit?”

He raised his voice a little and you gestured him to keep it down

“Don’t yell, he’s sleeping.”

“This is my house, I can talk however I’d like.”

There was no winning against him, especially if he’s intoxicated

You thought you could hold him off for the night until he’s sober again, but you were completely wrong

You were going to your side of the bed when he whipped his belt below your butt

He pulled you by the hair onto the bed and pulled down your night shorts

“I can’t, Jungkook! It hasn’t been 4 weeks! No!”

Jungkook always gets what he wants

His body weight kept you down as his cock plunged deep inside your cunt

You haven’t healed properly, so the pain was intolerable

You covered your mouth with your hand and sobbed

You still needed to be quiet but it hurts so bad

You pushed your face into your pillow and attempted to let out quiet whimpers

“It hurts! Please, slower!” You whispered

Jungkook purposely went faster and the skin slapping was so loud, you were afraid it’d wake up the baby

You were gasping for air, trying to get his body weight off of you so you could breathe normally

An hour after, you had another orgasm

You clutched onto the bedsheets and tried your hardest to remain silent

Jungkook came inside you again and collapsed on top of you, making you groan

He grabbed your right breast and began sucking as hard as he could until milk squirted onto his tongue

You tried squirming around to get him off, but the more resistant you are the more aggressive he gets

In the end, you passed out like always

You kept your distance from him and gave all your attention to your son

He hated that your attention wasn’t on him 24/7

So, he gave your son to his parents for a full month and kept you locked up in the basement

For that whole month, he fucke you senselessly

You were having orgasms every night; you couldn’t do it anymore

He’d bite down on your nipples and manhandle you all sorts of ways

You were exhausted but your son’s life was always on the line

Jungkook could easily hurt him

He doesn’t really care about your son

(I mean, he does but he acts like he doesn’t so he can use it against you.)

Jungkook only looks at your son as your weakness

He’ll make you have three orgasms in a row and if you tell him to stop or slow down, he mentions your son and it immediately shuts you up

He loved having so much power over you

He could literally fuck you for the rest of your life

You didn’t understand why this was happening to you, but there was nothing that you could do about it

There’s no one that could help you and even if there was, Jungkook will always one step ahead

No one dares to mess with him

I know this has lots of mistakes. I’m so sorry😭

[thegremlincrowsnest]

Porn Idea #548

Aizawa/Hizashi/Reader 

I’ll be posting this to AO3 after some final editing but I was too impatient to share it with you guys! 

CW: Afab language, daddy is said, double penetration, anal, Cernunnos just being a really horny mofo You're a new art teacher, married to a fellow teacher, Shouta Aizawa, the history teacher. You started working with him a few months ago, part-time,  after finishing some freelance gigs and wanting a change of pace for a while. It was nice working with your partner and teaching a new group of students to love the arts as you do. However, Shouta slowly gets jealous of how often you innocently flirt with the music teacher Hizashi Yamada and the gym teacher Toshinori Yagi. From there, that’s when he starts picking up some of his old gang behavior, wanting to claim you and make sure no one messes with what’s his. Hizashi definitely tests him by letting his hands linger on your back or shoulders when Shouta is watching. Hizashi was his old second in command from back in the day. He casually speaks in code to Shouta even when you're present. Whenever he was at your house, he lets his hands slide up your thigh or play with the elastic band of your short shorts. He would snap them, chuckling at your squeals and keeping eye contact with Shouta as he says, “Careful, my dear, don’t want to fuel the thoughts of wolves that hunger for you.” All you can do is blush and not fully understanding the weird vibe they’re giving off to each other but doesn’t question it. 

After Hizashi makes that wolf comment what Shouta goes, “Well, I don’t think there are any wolves brave enough to bite what’s mine....” to try and push Hizashi to the edge. Of course, Hizashi rises to the challenge, pulling you back against him, his arms wrapping around you while he looks at your lover, saying, “And what if there was a wolf brave enough?” Shouta walks up, pressing close to your front as you Y/N.exe stopped working as you were sandwiched between two men who have some history. “W-would anyone like some lemonade? Hizashi let his hands trail down your sides, digging his fingers into the top of your thighs. “The only thing I’m thirsty is for you, darling,” Shouta growls at that and leans in to say, “Hizashi...if you wanted me to fuck you senseless again, you didn’t need to tease my partner like this,” to which Hizashi smirks and grabs your throat, tilting your head upwards, saying, “What if I want both?” Shouta chuckles, moving your head back and leaning in to kiss you softly, asking, “What do you think, my love?”

You’re in heaven blushing and letting them handle you like some prized possession. Hizashi just smiles and lets his hands slide back up over your breast. Chuckling at the small noises you make. “You picked a perfect one as always, Shouta.” Then finally, you snap out of it a little and weasels your way out with a chuckle. “L-let me get that lemonade for you boys”“Oh no, you don’t....don’t avoid my question, baby,” Shouta would say as he grabs your wrist to pull you back in. Pushing you to his chest and wrapping an arm around your waist to pin you against his throbbing cock. “I want to know what you think of Hizashi here...eating you out while I pound this ass...” 

Hizashi moans at the suggestion, holding onto your hips and grinding his own dick against your ass. “Don’t tease me with a good time like that, baby...” Hizashi moans in your ear; you could only moan softly and lean into them. Your eyelids drooped, and you press your ass against Hizashi some more. “I-I’d like that a lot, Sir.... mmmm, I think Hizashi is quite handsome, and I-I wouldn’t mind him eating me out if you’d allow it.” The scent of their cologne mixed together made you dizzy. You had to press your thighs together to prevent any of your juices from dripping onto the carpet. The two boys share a look. It was only for a moment, but it’s almost as if they had a full conversation. Because before you could register what’s about to happen, Hizashi chuckles and turns you around, pinning you to the counter, standing in front of you while he leans down to grab the counter by your sides. “You think I’m handsome, baby? Even with your sexy husband around?” He teases, leaning in to kiss your neck. His fingers slipping down to play with the hem of your shorts. You squealed and ran your hands through his hair. “Ohh~ I mean, I’ve always thought you both were very sexy,” you say as you switched from looking at him to Shouta. you rubbed your thighs together and whimpered at the intensity of his gaze. “Fuck boys, if you’re just gonna tease me, I’ll just leave then~” Shouta grabs your neck tightly. Turning you to face him as Hizashi drops to his knees. “Do you really think you could leave right now, baby....” he stares into your eyes. “Your job is to feed the hungry men in this house. And you have two to satisfy,” he says as he leans in to kiss you, wanting to devour you now but knowing the best is yet to come. 

Meanwhile, Hizashi chuckles while he pushes your thighs apart, enjoying the view. “How could you leave when you’re a mess like this?~” he teases as he runs a finger through your pretty wet lips “what do you want me to do about it?”You couldn’t help but squeal as you came. Squirting onto Hizashis face as your thighs quivered and your back arched, blushing furiously. “Oh god...I-I’m so sorry Hizashi...t-this has never happened before. I’m so embarrassed.” Your heart pounded as you looked up between Shouta and him, expecting a laugh or look of disgust. ”Well, that was a first. Fucking hot, that’s what it was,” They say to one another. With a primal growl, Hizashi roughly spreads your thighs open and dives in to devour you. His tongue teasing your entrance as he takes the time to also suck on your clit. Shouta gets stunned for a moment before giving a low chuckle, “who knew my darling love had more tricks up your sleeve?” He says all sweet as he then rips the front of your shorts open, “if you’re gonna act like a whore you should look like one.” You threw your head back and moaned loudly again. “Fuck yes, I’m a whore~ a cock drunk whore! Jesus that feels so good~” you tugged his hair gently as you looked to Shouta. “Please, sirs have your way with me...I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. “In that case....” Shouta pushes Hizashis’s face away from your cunt and lifts you up, to then roughly toss your ass up onto the kitchen table “in that case, well, eat you up till there’s nothing left.” Shouta spreads your legs open by kicking your feet apart, and after he lets his erection out, he slaps it onto your ass. “Beg bitch”. Meanwhile, Hizashi strips and moves to stand in front of your mouth. His dick sliding across your pouty lips. You squeal and push back to try and grind against his cock. “Fuck me, sir~ please fill me up and use me!”  You licks against Hizashis’s cock gently before opening your mouth for him, looking up at him with a soft whine.  Pushing back, almost sliding Shouta’s cock into you, but he groans softly as he pulls back. “God, I need you both inside me so bad~” You moan out. “What do you think, Hizashi?” Shouta teases, letting his cock rut gently against your lips, not giving you the friction you desire just yet. “Aren’t they beautiful?” He asks while his hand caresses your ass and slaps it occasionally. Enjoying the moans coming from your lips. “I agree with that,” Hizashi says as his breathing gets heavy, holding onto your chin and letting his thumb run across your bottom lip. His cock throbbing against your cheek. “But I think we both know how to make them look even prettier,” he taunts. Looking up to Shouta. In silent understanding, ignoring your begging, they both ram their cocks into you fully at the same time. Shouta grabs onto your hips and fucks you slowly, while Hizashi holds onto your head. You could only squeal as they began to use you; looking up at Hizashi, he swore your pupils turned to hearts as they fucked you. Drool and precum began to drip from your lips as you push back against Shouta, clenching around him and grinding against his hips. Slowly you move your hands onto Hizashis hips, gripping them as you helped him fuck your throat.  You squealed and moaned helplessly, in pure bliss at the two men ravaging you like an animal. The men moan and grunt as they thrust into you. Shouta makes sure to slap your ass to keep you moaning underneath him. “You like that, huh you whore? Being treated like a cocksleeve just for us?”  Hizashi moans at that even. His hands running down your chest to pull and pinch your nipples. “If you want more slut you’re gonna need to make us cum. That’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?” Hizashi says. You pull back and jerks Hizashis’s cock as you whimper. “Fuck, if you let me ride you both, I’ll be able to show you want I really can do~” clenching around Shouta, bouncing against him slowly.  You look up at Hizashi with big eyes as you say. “Don’t you wanna fuck my ass Hizashi~” Hizashis knees buckle a bit at that suggestion. He looks from your messy face to Shouta’s with pleading eyes. Well, who is he to say no? He pulls out of your pussy and takes a step back. He twists you around to lay on your back and pushes your feet towards your head “hold onto your ankles, baby.” With a giddy smile, you do as your told, holding your ankles to your head. “I’m ready~” He smirks down at you as he slides his cock into your pussy, moaning appreciatively as he does so. And then he wraps his arms around you to lift you up, clutching you against him. Without missing a beat, Hizashi comes up behind you. Kissing the back of your neck and sliding a finger into your ass to get you ready for him. You let go of your legs, allowing them to hang off of his shoulders. Whimpering softly, you nuzzle into him as you feel Hizashis’s fingers. Desperately wanting to grind against those fingers and the cock deep inside you groaning in frustration. “More~ please more!” Hizashi smirks, bringing his hips to your ass, massaging your cheeks with his fingers. “What are we to do with such a naughty kitten like you?” He teases, slapping your ass roughly. “Already so full of cock but wanting more...” he pushes his tip against your tight entrance. Shouta tilts your chin up to kiss you, “I guess we need to punish them then by filling them up.  You can’t leave the house if you’re full of cum.” He says. You could only whimper as you felt him press against your entrance “H-Hizashi, don’t be a tease anh!”  You said as you tried to push back. Hearing Shouta say they’ll fill you up sent you into a spiral. Shivering and squirting on his cock you whimpered. “Yes! F-fill me up, please!~ I’ll be a good Kitten.” you babbled on as you felt your mind slipping. "Tsk tsk making such a mess..." Shouta says. "Looks like it’s time to plug them up~" Hizashi continues for him, thrusting his full length inside your ass. The two of them thrust at different times, constantly changing the pressure inside of you. They both lean into the sides of your head, Hizashi giving you praise while Shouta continues to degrade you. You couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped your lips as you were filled. Threading a hand through Hizashis hair, you leaned back. “So good~ you guys make me feel so good,” you moan softly.  You can feel the beginnings of small bruises on your hips and thighs but accepted them fully. Your holes leak and throbbed around the two cocks inside of you. Then you had a wonderful idea “C-come on, Shouta~ Don’t want Hizashi to outdo you.” Hizashi chuckles at that. “Am I making you feel that good baby?” He says as he looks Shouta in the eyes. Continuing, he says, “Make you feel so good you wanna be bred on my cock? Make you full with my cum to have my babies?” This makes Shouta possessively growl and slap your ass “who are you to be making such claims bitch?” He then grabs onto your throat to slightly choking you. “you will cum on my dick, and you will enjoy it. Like the cock whore you are. Be bred.” You moan softly at the feeling of his hand. Then smirks when you say, “Make me~” you loved pushing his buttons and seeing how far you can take him. “Make me, or else I’ll ask Hizashi to hold me up while he fucks my ass in your face.”  You clenched around their cocks as you felt Shouta growl and thrust faster. Hizashis hands move up to pinch and pull your nipples, reaching down to rub your clit as he keeps slowly fucking your ass. In return, he tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers pushing deep onto your muscles, forming bruises that will be visible all week long. He was going slow to be nice and match Hizashi in your ass, but if you wanted to be a brat like this, he’d treat you like the ragdoll you want to be. He growls and starts moving you on his cock and thrusting faster and deeper into you. “Looks like I need to remind you who’s in charge here, kitten....” he leans in and marks up your neck as he says, “If you behave and tighten up, maybe I’ll fill you up like you’ve wanted.” Your eyes crossed as you squealed, “yes, daddy~ fuck, please fill me up. I want your babies!” Your resolve faded as you felt his cock hit against your womb entrance. Hizashi chuckled and started speeding up as well, making your body shiver. “H-harder, please, daddy fucking put me in my place, please!”  You say as your pussy tightens up around them both.  You reach down to rub your clit as you watch his cock disappear inside of you. He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits you deep. “Look at this whore, playing with their clit while we fill them up, Hizashi....” he teases and smirks at the blonde “what do you suggest we do?” Hizashi also smirks and leans in to kiss your shoulder, picking up his pace to match Shouta’s. “I think we need to fill them up for days....that sound like a good idea?” He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits her deep. “Yes, yes, fill me up! Fuck I want your cum so fucking bad~” you lean back and pull Hizashis’s face close. Kissing him deeply as your other hand cups Shouta’s cheek. “I feel so good~ god, you’re both so fucking thick~,” you say as you feel them throb deep inside of you. It’s a nice sight, seeing the two of them kiss. Not that he’ll admit it for now. But he knows he’s getting there. He leans his head on her shoulder and focuses on how soft and wet and warm you are. God, he can get lost in you for hours. You’re gonna look so good full of his kids. Over and over. “God baby, I’m gonna fill you up...” he moans, shuddering as he thrusts fully into you and filling you up with his cum. You hold onto him tight as you feel him cum deep inside.  You whimper softly and bite down on his shoulder as you cum as well.  You feel Hizashi stop and look back, confused. “What’s wrong?”  You ask cutely. He helps Shouta pull out before thrusting into your pussy cumming as well. He groans and rubs your clit softly, helping you through another orgasm. “Oh god~ I’m so full~ fuck daddy, it feels so good” Well shit...that was a surprise. Shouta thought, but you look so happy being full, so it’s okay for now. Carefully he and Hizashi get you to sit on the couch. More so, sitting on a combination of their laps. Their hands and kisses soft on your skin, helping to soothe you. “What a good kitten you are, baby...” Shouta praises you, “maybe we need to have guests over more often.”

[andromeda3116]

so like i said i would do no more explaining but i was kinda jokey with that post when actually no i legit did put thought and purpose into this kanej playlist, so here’s a breakdown of the songs on it and which lyric(s)/to whom it applies. some of them, again, are more about the general vibe, but mostly there’s like. an actual reason i picked these songs.

kaz.

o. (not on spotify) the sewers belch me up, the heavens spit me out, from ethers tragic i am born again. [...] is it bright where you are? have the people changed? does it make you happy you're so strange? and in your darkest hour, i hold secrets' flame. you can watch the world devoured in its pain. --the end is the beginning is the end

i. god money, i’ll do anything for you. god money, just tell me what you want me to. god money, nail me up against the wall. god money, don't want everything, he wants it all. no, you can’t take it, no you can't take it, no, you can’t take that away from me. head like a hole, black as your soul, i'd rather die than give you control. bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve.

ii. there’s a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step i take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. [...] i am just a worthless liar, i am just an imbecile. i will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well. [...] why can we not be sober, i just want to start this over.

iii. i’d walk to you through rings of fire, and never let you know the way i feel. under skin is where i hide the love that always gets me on my knees. [...] i want it now, i want it now. don’t tell me that my ship is coming in. --nothing lasts forever

iv. one: take control of me, you’re messing with the enemy. said it’s two: it’s another trick, you’re messing with my mind. [...] there it goes again, take me to the edge again. all i got is a dirty trick, i’m chasing down the wolves to save you. i tell you i want you, i tell you i need you. the blood on my face, i just wanted you near me. --club foot

v. don’t waste your touch, you won’t feel anything. or were you sent to save me? i’ve thought too much, you won’t find anything worthy of redeeming. [...] reach out and you may take my heart away. --the leaving song, part two

vi. while i waited, i was wasting away, hope was wasting away, faith was wasting away, i was wasting away. [...] inside a crumbling effigy, but you promised. so dies all innocence, but you promised me. --the great disappointment

vii. welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life, done my time and served my sentence, dress me up and watch me die. if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight. [...] the crown. so close i could taste it, i see what’s mine and take it. --the emperor’s new clothes

viii. all my friends were glorious, tonight we are victorious. [...] i’m a killing spree in white, eyes like broken christmas lights. my touch is black and poisonous. [...] throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. fifty words for murder, and i’m every one of them.

ix. just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end, just like a memory, it twists me. you land as lightly as the new snow onto the melting boy. you land as gently, you’re so cinematic, bathed in your radiance, i melt. --this celluloid dream

x. i’ll describe the way i feel: weeping wounds that never heal. can this savior be for real, or are you just my seventh seal? no hesitation, no delay, you come on just like special k, now you’re back, the dope demand, i’m on sinking sand. [...] i’ll describe the way i feel: you’re my new achilles heel.

xi. i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. [...] i’ve been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could have been. --forty-six and two

xii. do you listen to yourself? never live for someone else. do you like the way you feel? nothing hurts when no one’s real. [...] i wanna bullet-proof your soul, would you like to lose control? i won’t let you fall until you tell me so. [...] should have listened when you called my name.

xiii. you have forsaken all the love you’ve taken, sleeping on a razor, there’s nowhere left to fall. your body’s aching, every bone is breaking, nothing seems to shake it, it just keeps holding on. [...] i thread the needle through, you beat the devil’s tattoo.

xiv. i’m insane, but on my toes. i can keep the world balanced on my nose. i had a slumber party with all my foes, now i wear ‘em like a badge of honor on my clothes. if i’m crazy, i’m on my own. if i’m waiting, it’s on my throne. [...] can’t stop me now, i said i got you now. i’m right here at your door, i won’t leave, i want more. --what’s up, danger?

xv. the world is a vampire sent to drain, secret destroyers hold you up to the flames. and what do i get for my pain? betrayed desires and a piece of the game. [...] despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage. --bullet with butterfly wings

xvi. can’t you see i’m sorry? i will make it worth your while. i’m made of dead men’s money, you can see it in my smile. oh, lazarus, how did your debt get paid? [...] when the fires, when the fires are consuming you, and your sacred stars won’t be guiding you, i’ve got blood, i’ve got blood on my name.

xvii. “oh don’t talk of love,” the shadows purr, murmuring me away from you. “don’t talk of worlds that never were, the end is all that’s ever true.” [...] every night i burn, every night i scream your name.

xviii. my heart’s a tart, your body’s rent, my body’s broken, yours is bent. carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed, i lie here charmed. [...] like the naked leads the blind, i know i’m selfish, i’m unkind. sucker love, i always find someone to bruise and leave behind. --every you, every me

xix. it don’t matter, i won’t do what you say. you’ve got the money and the power, i won’t go your way. i can’t take for the people, they don’t matter at all. i’ll be waiting in the shadows, until the day that you fall. [...] kill me if you dare, hold my head up everywhere. --underdog

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inej.

i. i’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm, and the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold. my blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones, it keeps my veins hot, the fire’s found a home in me. [...] and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me. i’m done with it, oh, this is the start of how it all ends. --yellow flicker beat

ii. just how deep do you believe? will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? can you get up off your knees? are you brave enough to see? do you wanna change it?

iii. i know it’s a lie, i want it to be true. the rest of the ride is riding on you. [...] wishing you could keep me closer, i’m a lazy dancer, when you move i move with you. --collect call

iv. don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather, another roadblock in our way. but if we go, we go together, our hands are tied here if we stay. oh, we said our dreams would carry us and if they don’t fly, we will run. now we push right past to find out how to win what they all lost. oh, we know that we want more, oh, the life we’re fighting for. [...] there are no rules that we can’t break. --disparate youth

v. as i move my feet towards your body, i can hear this beat, it fills my head up and gets louder and louder. i run to the river and dive straight in. i pray that the water will drown out the din. [...] there’s a drumming noise inside my head and it starts when you’re around. --drumming song

vi. shoot me down, but i get up. i’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. fire away, fire away. ricochet, you take your aim. fire away, fire away. shoot me down, but i won’t fall, i am titanium.

vii. you’ve been walking, you’ve been hiding, and you look half-dead half the time. monitoring you, like machines do, you’ve still got it, i’m just keeping an eye. you say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock. i don’t believe any of it.

viii. i’m in need of a savior, but i’m not asking for favors. my whole life i’ve felt like a burden, i think too much and i hate it. i’m so used to being in the wrong, i’m tired of caring. loving never gave me a home, so i’ll sit here in the silence. i found peace in your violence, can’t tell me there’s no point in trying. i’m at one, and i’ve been quiet for too long.

ix. i am running, i will meet you halfway. when i get there, will you be waiting for me? and i’m scared that you don’t feel the same. and after all, just how much can i take? heaven help me, i think i’m in love, i’m all in love with you. ‘cause i can’t help myself, i’m falling down, i’m falling hard for you.

x. i never promised you an open heart or charity, i never wanted to abuse your imagination. i come with knives, i come with knives and agony to love you.

xi. stooped down and out, you got me beggin’ for thread to sew this hole up that you ripped it my head. stupidly think you had it under control. strapped down to something you don’t understand, don’t know what you were getting yourself into. you should have known, secretly i think you knew.

xii. go row the boat to safer grounds, but don’t you know? we’re stronger now. my heart still beats, and my skin still feels. my lungs still breathe, my mind still fears. but we’re running out of time, all the echoes in my mind cry. there’s blood on your lies, the scars open wide. there is nowhere for you to hide, the hunter’s moon is shining. i’m running with the wolves tonight.

xiii. a falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. i screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it’s left me blind. the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you’ve left me in the dark. no dawn, no day, i’m always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart. [...] i took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map, i knew that somehow i could find the way back. then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness, too. so i stayed in the darkness with you. --cosmic love

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both/and.

i. shed a tear for each soul set free, but that’s what happens when you dance with me. pity the man who stands in my way, i’m a nightmare even in the day. i’d be wise with which words you say, ‘cause they could be the last breath you take. [...] call me a criminal, maybe, baby, i’m an outlaw. you know, i ain’t evil but i ain’t a saint.

ii. it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. help me to decide. help me make the most of freedom, and of pleasure. nothing ever lasts forever. everybody wants to rule the world. there’s a room where the light won’t find you, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down. when they do i’ll be right behind you.

iii. i know you’ve suffered, but i don’t want you to hide. [...] i want to reconcile the violence in your heart, i want to recognize your beauty’s not just a mask. i want to exorcise the demons from your past. i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.

iv. you mean that much to me and it’s hard to show. gets hectic inside of me when you go. can i confess these things to you? well, i don’t know. embedded in my chest and it hurts to hold. i couldn’t spill my heart, my eyes gleam looking in from the dark. i walk out in stormy weather, hold my words, keep us together. steady walking but bound to trip, should release but just tighten my grip. night time, sympathize, i’ve been working on white lies. so i’ll tell the truth.

v. i, i came here in day, but i left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way. [...] your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. --silver and cold

vi. you wanna make me bad, make me bad. you wanna pay me back, pay me back. baby, it’s violence, violence. [...] but i like it like that.

vii. hey, baby, can you bleed like me? oh, come on baby, can you bleed like me? you should see my scars.

viii. i’m giving you a night call, to tell you how i feel. i’m gonna show you where it’s dark but have no fear. [...] there’s something inside you, it’s hard to explain. they’re talking about you, boy, but you’re still the same.

ix. you don’t wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. unaware that i’m tearing you asunder, and there’s a thunder in our hearts, baby. so much hate for the ones we love, tell me we both matter, don’t we? [...] come on baby, come on, come on darling, let me steal this moment from you now. --running up that hill

x. feel my heart burning, deep inside, yearning. i know it is coming. a fettered heart, waking. tainted youth, fading. leave it all behind. delirious again, mesmerize my senses, souls entwine one more time.

xi. there is love in your body but you can’t get it out, it gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth. sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face, that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but you'll never know what a fool i have been. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but that’s no excuse for the state i am in. --hardest of hearts

xii. it’s fire, it’s freedom, it’s flooding open. it’s the preacher and the pulpit and your blind devotion. there’s something breaking at the brick of every wall, it’s holding all that you know. so tell me do you wanna go? where it’s covered in all the colored lights, where the runaways are running the nights. impossible comes true, it’s taking over you. [...] where the lost get found and we crown ‘em the circus king. --the greatest show

xiii. but if you’re troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things they did. they said now, teenagers scare the living shit out of me. they could care less, as long as someone will bleed. so darken your clothes and strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me. 

xiv. we are ready for the siege, we are armed up to the teeth. be careful how you live and breathe, release what’s broken underneath. how many times do you wanna die? how many ways do you wanna die? [...] you used to do a little but a little won’t fly, right before you hit your prime. that’s where we fell in love but not the first time. --the royal we

xv. and how can we win, when fools can be kings? don’t waste your time, or time will waste you. no one’s gonna take me alive. the time has come to make things right. you and i must fight for our rights, you and i must fight to survive. --knights of cydonia

xvi. look at me go, look at me high and low, look at me picking myself back up from the underground. i’ve died a few times before, i know what it’s like when i can’t see the light, i find a light of my own. [...] we were born alone, and we die alone. what a way to go, now i’m on my own. but i’m not sorry, no.

xvii. broken people, hollow and feeble, they’re rolling, rolling up the hill. [...] breaking in, in, in my eyes, i can’t see like this. i can’t let go, please help me down, i can’t be like this. --sweet

xviii. prey on the powerful, masters of the game, we run with wolves in the shadows, we chase ‘em down ‘til we’re face to face. [...] it’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins. this is the world we made.

xix. and our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same. the more you change the less you feel. believe, believe in me. believe, believe that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain. we’re not the same, we’re different tonight. [...] we’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight. we’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight, the indescribable moments of your life, tonight. the impossible is possible tonight. believe in me as i believe in you, tonight.

[kickingstonesandbones]

ADA: Songs the BSD characters remind me of (even though no one asked)

I’ve recently watched all 3 seasons of the Anime, the movie and the OVA and have started reading the Manga from the beginning. Right now I am only at chapter 40 because I started reading like 2 days ago, so idk stuff that would happen after the Anime storyline (if it goes that much further than season 3 ending, I wouldn’t know). I based this off on either specific lyrics that made me think it would fit the character or a certain vibe I was getting from a character. For some characters it was easier, for some not so much lol It is why some characters have multiple songs that make me think of them while others only have one (if they even do have one, that is – but the ADA does, except for Katai). So please do not rip into me because you think a song might not fit them as well as I do, because I just have not gotten to the latest chapter of the Manga yet, so there are some characters I do not know that well yet but I wanted to do this for fun. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this list~ Also, feel free to add to my list if you have songs that I haven’t mentioned but think would fit the characters, if you want to~

My taste in music is also pretty broad and not limited to certain languages or genres (though I do have my preferences), so I will provide translations of the lyrics in different languages from English. The German ones (like Kontra K, Elif, etc.) were translated by myself (on the spot), for other languages like Romanian or Korean, etc. I had to look up translations on the internet.

Disclaimer: For the songs for Dazai, one might want to consider a TW, for one of his songs has extremely open-no-room-for-speculation suicidal lyrics. If this affects you, please skip that one, I will put that song last on his list.

And, well, because this is 12 pages long in the document, I will be making a cut here…

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𝔸𝔻𝔸 𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

💙 Wölfe (Wolves) by Kontra K 💙

It’s about so much more than just strength, it’s about solidarity and virtue / It runs so much deeper than your wounds could ever get / We’re walking through the fire together until the day we die […] /

And we are so infinitely far away from being perfect / But what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger / And hope dies last / It dies last /

A lot of the members have been through quite some shit, but they hold it together all the time and always pull through and manage to keep moving forward sooo (some random arsehole I talked to spoilered me about Yosano and Mori  -_-)

💙 Born For This by The Score 💙

A force that they can’t stop / They just don’t get it, I think they forget / I’m not done until I’m on top / I know I was born for this / I know I was born for this […] /

We are the warriors, who learned to love the pain / We come from different places but have the same name / ‘Cause we were born for this / We are the broken ones, who chose to spark a flame / Watch as our fire rages, our hearts are never tame /

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ℕ𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

I can’t believe / That when I breathe / That there’s something good inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me / So close to me / That memory / Of that one good thing inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me /

If I went out the back door, nobody would stop me / But, where would I go? / ‘Cause I ain’t never had a real home / So, what do I know? / So, I could keep runnin’, hide until they find me / But, what would that do? /

That he really hates himself that much and how insecure he is in his right to be alive not just simply because he is a living being really hurts to see.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

Don’t know how to face it / Let’s go back to basics / Yes, say what you mean, do what you say, but man I hate this / I just don’t know what I’m chasing, don’t know what I’m chasing / Yes, somebody told me / Life is something you don’t wanna play with / But I just keep on playing like life is just a playground […] / I look at myself and I ask what the goal is / Yeah, tell me what your goal is / I’m just so lost in emotions, I don’t even notice / I just slip into a place and I don’t think straight / Devil in my ear tryna tell me everything’s great / And in a year realize I’m in the same place / Running in the same race, same pace […] /

Get that sickness out my mouth / I feel like my train is derailing / I can feel it / Yo these words are only words until they actions / Words until they actions, strive on empty satisfactions / Yeah, the fact is I don’t know, fact is I don’t know /

💙 월식  (My Tragedy) by Taeyeon 💙

At the end of an empty day / Everyone busily returns from somewhere / In the red night sky / I disappear into the darkness little by litte / These many sparkling lights / There isn’t a single light that’s mine / Under the cold shade by myself / Like it wasn’t there from the start /

💙 Oceans by Jacob Lee 💙

I learnt to let go when I was younger / Scared of growing old / I would swim far into the ocean / And try to stay afloat / Until my lungs would cough up water […] /

I don't want love no more / Though it's the one thing I've been searching for / Though it's the one thing that I miss the most / Now I'm afraid to be alone / I learnt to grow old when I was younger / Scared of staying young / Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured / That sat atop my tongue / Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion / If they would just, listen up / But they won't, now /

I feel worthless / Maybe I should open the drawer / Burn the pages / Write poems with the ash on the floor / Pour the ink, into the sink / And watch it drain from the shore /

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦

I know Dazai has a looooot of songs, but tbh I could’ve added at least another 15 because. There. Were. Just.  S O .  M A N Y .  T H A T  F I T  H I M  S O  W E L L ‼‼ (Well, at least the ones I could think of off of the top of my head right away.)

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

Don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man / Little do they know, every song is a lifespan / Yeah, they’ve taken one, but I’m takin’ my last chance / To hold all we know and let go with both hands / Though, don’t you know that plots are made from concrete / Right through the stone, can you hear my heart beat? / Beats through my bone, like no memory left me / Not for a second or a minute when I dream […] / My heart beats heavy in an open chest / And, I wanna say goodbye, but there’s nobody left /

I broke it all, and I put to the test / Put your hands in mine, and feel this emptiness / There’s no beat in my chest / ‘Cause there’s nothin’ left / No, it ain’t goodbye, its a last caress  / What’s another dream? / You could hardly sleep /

Makes me think of Oda aka the bond they had aka the admiration Dazai had for him.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

I ain’t sleeping lately / I ain’t sleeping lately / Yes, I know that I’m the only person that can change me / Maybe, that’s why I ain’t changing / That’s why I ain’t changing / I got too much on my mind, I guess I don’t know how to face it /

He obviously has a lot of issues, and I bet he still doesn’t think of himself as a good person. It strikes me as if he’s thinking that Agency Dazai is not much different from Mafia Dazai. “Your hands are black. Mafia black,” as Higuchi said. I think he did not deny it when she said that, so he doesn’t disagree with her.

💙 Rain by Hollywood Undead 💙

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain / Simple things and subtleties, they always stay the same / I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain / Like a widow’s heart, we fall apart, but never fade away (fade away) /

Run like a child, do you know where I came from? / No, I don’t, but I’m singing all the same songs / I’m alone, and you’re looking for your anyone / Does it hurt just to know that it’s all gone? / I can feel the pain in the words that you say / Hidden in the letters that were written to no name […] / Buried in red, white, and a side of some blue / Some will die too late, and somebody too soon / If he could come back, we’ll see what it cost him / We had to lose it all, just to know that we lost one /

💙 Lass mich lieber allein (better just leave me alone) by Kontra K 💙

Man, don’t explain the world to me, it isn’t perfect / And just as imperfect are also you, her and me / All of that isn’t a problem to me / But tell me, since when does hatred laugh so audaciously into my face? / But it’s somehow alright for me […] / Man, I wish for a minuscule part of naivety back / But it seems it’s somehow too late for me / Somehow already too late for me […] /

Already been wandering for so long, you forget / Who is worthy of sacrificing yourself for and for whom you better not do it / You run along the street of success without any luck (on your side) / But she walks out of hell into heaven only once and then right back / If you end up where you started then where is the meaning? /

Because I also have my baggage to carry all on my own / Just like all of the fuckers that think I’m living in heaven all by myself / But the fire and the flames in which I’ve been standing in for so long already / Man, they refuse to see them / But it’s somehow alright for me /

You better just leave me alone / Because when they carry you on their hands, they will (eventually) let you drop / I’d rather fall alone/by myself / Rather alone/by myself /

💙 Lies by Will Jay 💙

I'd rather tell myself if I ignore / These thoughts they'll go away / And my toxic friends have changed / Truth is I hate confrontation / Deal with it tomorrow / 'Cause there's nothing I can do / That's my favourite excuse / Feeding my procrastination […] /

And I think I just realised I would do anything / To keep hiding the pain I've been burying / That's why I tell / Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lies /

💙 Du willst es (You want it) by Kontra K 💙

Only the good ones die young, and not long after the best ones follow / No idea, ask death why he thinks that I am so damn bad / Still here, we’re almost not worthy of heaven / Working day for day, only the hatred kills the pain / Life will shoot you in the chest but only ever hit your heart / Thank God that place in my chest has been emptied a long time ago […] /

We asked God, “why” / But the devil said, “doesn’t matter” / We’re swimming in a pool full of misery / But bring us another glass of it /

💙 Wie gemacht dafür (like we were made for it) by Kontra K 💙

Pretty normal, normal / Because you can’t get me, get me further down (the hole/ditch) / Than I’ve already been, you get it? […] / I’m going one-on-one with my inner demons, and I’ve been doing that for the past 13 years / I’ve been there, no matter what happened / Ask your gangsters, they know my voice / Have respect, respect for the realness / But fucking piss me off, and I’ll be sending you to heaven […] /

What pressure are you talking about, I inhale this city deep into my lungs / Put it on the beat and I’ll be giving you a new reason for your hatred /

Like we were made for it, we’re running through hell barefooted / We’re living rent-free in their heads, with the real ones, with the real ones / Like we were made for it, always loyal to my people / Swapping none of my friends for money, for the real ones, for the real ones […] /

If you’re my enemy, I’ll give you lead (bullets) / If you’re my friend, I’ll give you love / Because a wolf stays fucking loyal only to his family /

💙 Lonely by Nathan Wagner 💙

Is everybody lonely? / Is everybody scared? / Is everybody worried / That no one really cares? / See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone / Still I wonder why my heart is always broke / What a way to live, let the fear take all control / Oh, this ain't life, no / I'm not alive […] /

'Cause I'm afraid to show the people who I am / I'm not special, I'm just a simple broken man / So I will hide my face with my picture perfect mask / Oh, this ain't life, no / It's just a lie […] /

If I looked you in the eye / And showed the broken things inside / Would you run away? / Would you run away? / If you saw my darkest parts / The wicked things inside my heart / Would you run away? / Or are you the same? /

The following one makes me think of Mafia Dazai

💙 Body Count by Grey ft. Thutmose 💙

I got a hunger, I got a fever / And it just won't quit / I got a temper, I got a bullet / With your name on it / Everybody wonders what it's like on top / I don't gotta wonder 'cause I call the shots […] /

My blood runs cold and my feet run faster / I still got heart, I hear a heart don't matter / Say what you want and it'll be your last words / It ain't a secret, I got a hit list / And baby, you're up next /

Stack 'em up, stack 'em up / Teach 'em not to fuck with me / Bag 'em up, bag 'em up / Let 'em know who runs these streets / Take 'em down, take 'em down / Count 'em out like one, two, three / Add a-na-na-na-na-na-na-nother one  / To the body count /

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T r i g g e r   W a r n i n g  !

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💙 Bullet by Hollywood Undead 💙

Gone too far and yeah I'm gone again / It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends / I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends / One’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of Gin / I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top / I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off / Asphalt to me has never looked so soft / I bet my momma found my letter, now she’s calling the cops / I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it / 'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance / Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent / 'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is / I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife / But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice / I never bought a suit before in my life / But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice /

We hit the sky, there goes the light / No more sun, why's it always night / When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream / When you can't dream, well, what’s life mean? / We feel a little pity, but don't empathize / The old are getting older, watch a young man die […] /

When you were young, you never thought you'd die / Found that you could but too scared to try / You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye / Climb to the roof to see if you could fly /

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow / Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow

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𝕐𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕠 𝔸𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠

💙 Brunette Ambition by Qveen Herby 💙

'Cause it's been three weeks and four days / No days off, just runways / I’m fucked up, I'll throw shade / Outwork you on a bad day […] /

On a mission, got no competition / It's hard to sleep with brunette ambition / Revenge is sweet, pussy: my religion / They say slow down, but I never listen /

Old me forsaken, these rules are for breaking / I get lonely with no new friends / Associate, but they can't relate / When you want the world, they’re uncomfortable /

This one is 50% lyrics, 50% overall energy of the song. Yosano is a bad bitch, and I love her.

💙 STFD by TeZATalks 💙    [Flash Warning for epilepsy]

I'm not here to take no names or reservations / I'm the devil telling Satan I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down / Imma kill it let me live just how I'm livin' / Ghetto heart with good intentions / I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down /

I'm chasing freedom for the fearless / I gotta do it 'cause I can't chase fear myself / I'm 'bout as broken as I confess / But better than most that lay cower / Proud of who they crowd / You don't know me / Coming to take your crown / Bow down / You know that I can do better, better / I don't need you to come in and show me how / Settle down / Cause you know that I can do better, better /

This song is mostly just the vibe for me. Quite…. unapologetic. Like the badass bitch vibe Yosano gives off, despite (or probably especially because of) her past.

💙 Nur mir (only to myself) by Elif 💙

Can’t believe what’s happening to me / Your words have manipulated me / I shouldn’t lose the connection to myself / Because otherwise your words will always stay with me / At first, you were there for me / But then you wanted me as your property […] / This city is big enough for the two of us / I have to share it with 4 million others anyway / I get onto the same train, stand on the same platform / Oh, everything’s profit (to you), everything’s yours /

But I only belong to myself, only to myself / Belong to myself, only to myself / Not to her, not to him, not to you /

💙 Disease by Hollywood Undead 💙

Our words are broken but they’re spoken aloud / So come together, come together again / The time is now, let Armageddon begin / They say beginnings always start with the ends / I say forever and forever, Amen /

Forget what you are / Forget what you feel / We stand apart but fall together / Nothing ever lasts forever /

We’re born to live, we’re born to die / We’re forced to swallow these pills and to never ask why / What I’ve become, why can’t you see / That everybody, everybody, everybody’s got this disease? /

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𝔼𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕠

💙 The Wolf by SIAMÉS 💙

Each and every day / Hiding from the sunshine / Wandering in the shade / Not too old, not too young / Every night again / Dancing with the moonlight / Somewhere far away / I can hear your call […] / Ain’t no fairytale / What I see in your eyes / Awaiting your mistake / Not too close, not too far /

Honestly, finding a song for Ranpo somehow was harder than it should’ve been lmao Originally, this song is about addiction, but if you read them in the sense of it being about a criminal, whom Ranpo is about to catch, it makes more sense. I am sorry I can’t provide a better song for him right now djhfksjlhdfujhhgkfc

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𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕒 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕠

💙 Fuck You by Silent Child 💙

Am I wasting my breath on you / Feels like my words are never getting through, yeah / I never said I hate you to someone so much before / I'm light headed when we talk and then you shut the door, god damn / Like what are we still talking for, yeah /

I really hope you don’t see tomorrow  / I tried to play nice with you / 'Cause all you ever do is try to fuck up my day / And you were successful / (But I know the truth) / No you don't have anything better to do / Everything you ever loved has tried to escape you / So why would I want anything to do with you /

Fuck you /

Don’t lie, he would blast this at full volume when Dazai fucks up his schedule again HAHAHA (I love their dynamic)

💙 Waiting by Zhavia Ward 💙

The truth is you don't even / Know what the hell you believe / But you should believe / Lions don't lose sleep / Over the opinions of sheep /

So if you're waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' /

Empire State kinda view / And I'm up here with the crew / I got the feelin' that you wishin' / You could be up here too / Maybe I should feel bad for you / Be a little sentimental / But I don't, no I won't / Make excuses for you to hide behind /

This one makes me think of the time Fyodor tried to break him mentally by making that little girl sacrifice herself (Season 3), but he got back up pretty quickly again after having his ideals get shaken like that.

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𝔽𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕐𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚

💙 S.C.A.V.A. by Hollywood Undead 💙

Here's the massacre, a mausoleum fit for me / Lived a hundred years, a hundred years I didn't see / Gave all my hope away, isn't any left for me? / Bombs are splitting atoms, what can the future bring? / We can fill a million choirs and wait till children sing / We can walk a million miles and end up in the sea / And our lungs just keep filling and lying when we breathe / The world's filled with liars, liars like me / And I look at my child, it's finite, this feeling / Eyes blue like the sky, I see all of this meaning / I reach up to God and I ask if I'm dreaming […] /

Everybody says greetings and goodbyes / Everybody pays, no one knows the price / We know the price of sin, the sin of sacrifice / I know I'll sin again, but who can save me twice? / How much can we ask? You'll get the answer first / How much can we kneel with the air that chills the earth? / The air keeps getting colder, my knees keep hitting dirt / The innocent can cry without the guilty getting hurt / You ask who you love and you don't know, no, do you? / The spirit of God just passes right through you / You gave away heaven, handed right to you / And I can see it all, tell me, is it true? /

Fukuzawa is that anime character that’s visibly been through a lot of shit (and has done a lot of shit as well, even morally grey or black), which could be why he’s so stern and not a man of many words. Marked by life, if you will. He also gives off a very “wise man” kinda vibe right from the beginning, so I think that this song somewhat fits him because it is wondering about the state of the world and human nature.

💙 Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch 💙

This is your last warning / A courtesy call / I am not afraid / Of the storm that comes my way / When it hits it shakes me to the core / And makes me stronger than before / It’s not a question about trust / But will you stand with us? […] /

There’s a rumble in the floor / So get prepared for war / When it hits it’ll knock you to the ground / When it shakes up everything around / But survivial is a must / So will you stand with us? /  

This song just has that badass vibe. And no one can deny that Fukuzawa has a badass and intimidating vibe as well as he seems so stern and stoic most of the time.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠𝕦

💙 Nesimtit by Mark Stam 💙

I don't have lots of cash / But enough for me to buy you an ice cream / For us to go on a walk / And for you to whisper to me in the waves of the ocean / I've taken some days from the border / And I put some behind the door, on ice / For cloudy weather / So that we can have them when the movie of life passes […] /

Let me be your lifeline / When your world is in the process of demolition / Let your dreams fly / I promise, we'll catch them somewhere around the sun /

Oddly enough, the Tanizaki siblings were just as hard for me as Ranpo… There aren’t really that many songs that would make me think of them. But this Romanian one made me (partly) think of him, I also think it’s cute and would probably fit him lol Especially the last four lines make me think of him and Naomi. After all, he’d even burn down the whole world if it was for her sake. All in all, this just sounds like him in the sense of a really supporting person/friend/brother.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 ℕ𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚

💙 You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 💙

You say, "Come over, baby / I think you're pretty" / I'm okay, I'm not your baby / If you think I'm pretty /

You should see me in a crown / I'm gonna run this nothing town / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by / You should see me in a crown / Your silence is my favorite sound / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by one /

Naomi isn’t giving me the same “badass bitch” vibe as Yosano does, but she does have that “badass princess” vibe. Is that making any kind of sense? Like, she does not have an ability, but she is neither dumb nor completely helpless in all situations. So, there is a slight badass vibe, but not the “I can and I. W i l l . Kick your stupid. Bitch. Ass.” – so a…. “badass princess”? Because she also has that elegant aura about her. I hope I am making sense…?

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ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕠

💙 2! 3! by BTS 💙

We know that you are happy right now / That you're slaying right now / You have all what you deserve / And we are so damn proud / But you're people, like us / You have spars, you get hurt / You get tired of the pressure / You get tired of the rush / God, thank you so much! / For giving us the chance / To tell you that we're here for you / And this will never change /

Lay on us / When dark times come and surround you / Our light will help you to get through / Our love is gonna heal you / Lay on us / The ones who would go to space to / Steal some stars just to give you 'cause it would make you feel good / We're gonna stay with you forever, until the end / We swear that we're not going anywhere / Yeah we're not going anywhere / We know the road can be so tough / But with holding hands / Together we take a nice deep breath /

Haruno strikes me as the kind of person, who’d be a really supportive friend, so I thought this might fit her. I have not seen much of her and her character neither in the anime nor in the manga yet, so I don’t really know whether this is any good or if it does her any justice.

On the other hand, I feel this song would also fit the Tanizaki siblings well.

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𝕄𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕚

💙 Puste sie weg (blow them away) by Kontra K 💙

Love in the air – blow it away / 9mm on the chest – then blow it away / 3g on the mirror – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest / Hate in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest […] /

Because everyone’s talking, talking, talking too much / But unfortunately never do it, do it, do it / And I don’t hate, hate, hate the player / But I’d rather kill a whole team by myself /

I’d rather have three, four warriors than one thousand “brothers” / I’d rather pick up cents from the ground than break bread with liars / I’d rather be broke like I used to be than be a part time dealer / I’d rather have a heart of gold than sharing with no one at all (no one) /

Hatred in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest /

Take the lyrics quite literally, “blow them away”. The feeling of this song fits him, I think, because of his sheer strength. He just blows away hatred, malice, etc. and is unaffected by any of it as his heart and his head stay innocent and pure, even if naive.

I have to say though, it can be a pun, especially the part of “9mm (gun) on the chest” would be most obvious for it (especially considering that the “on the chest” part does not specify in German whether it’s your own chest or you are holding a gun to someone’s else’s chest lol). In general “puste xy weg” means to blow it away with the air out of your mouth, but colloquially it can also mean gunning down something or someone. And if you apply that meaning to every single line with “blow it away”, the meaning turns around from not letting it bother you to killing it, which I find interesting with this character. (Because he definitely has great potential to actually kill someone with his ability alone.) Though what I thought when I heard this song was that it might fit him with the meaning of him letting nothing bother him.

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𝕀𝕫𝕦𝕞𝕚 𝕂𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕜𝕒

💙 Alaska by Elif 💙

Sometimes I’m thinking, I’m going insane like everyone else / They said I’d be going nuts and yeah, I’m starting to believe them / -7°C, I’m walking through the city park by myself / The down jacket is keeping me warm, but in my heart, there’s Alaska /

I don’t know what love is / No matter how much of it I get, I need more of it / It’s tearing me apart on the inside / When I, once again, don’t know where I’ll be getting it from / Even my therapist says, he doesn’t know any further / My dark side, it’s stronger than the good one / My youth was poisened, the future is uncertain / It is how it is yeah, it is how it is /

💙 Godsent by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I used to share, I used to care / The good in me is gone I'm bad / I used to give, I used to feel / The things you did will never heal / Take a look at me now / See what I've become / I will no longer feed the machine / Can't control the monster in me, no / The way that I feel / Makes it harder to breathe / When I'm thinking about you / The monster is real /

This makes me think of her in the Port Mafia.

💙 Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I've been gone for a while now / But only to gain my power / I've been fighting my demons / And I'm back up on my feet (and now) / The harder you fall down / The stronger you come back later / Now I feel like an army / And I've only just begun /

This one in turn makes me think of her in the Agency.

💙 Circles (제자리) by G.Soul 💙

Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again / Always come back to me / Back again / Eventually / Here again / Why is it so hard to leave? / Here again / We always stay here […] / Answer me, I don’t know, no / Just don’t know / You’re getting stuck / Forever / Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again /

This makes me think of what Kouyou (I hope I am remembering her name correctly) was saying about her as a flower of darkness, as she was kind of turning in circles (no pun intended)–between wanting to be in the light and “accepting” that she only belongs into the darkness–at the beginning before she finally joined the Agency.

💙 Excuses (변명) by G.Soul 💙

I told you not to be too good to me / That it would make it too hard on you / No matter what you say now / I don’t hear a word of it […] / Even though I may be making a mistake / Even though I may regret this as time goes on / Baby, I think that we should just end it here now /

Even though the song in total has a different vibe (and story lmao), these parts of the lyrics makes me think of Kyouka telling Atsushi that there is no saving her, and that the light is no place for her (directly after saving her from the Port Mafia). It kinda makes me think of the part, specifically, where Atsushi suggests going on a “date” and at the end of it, Kyouka wants the last place they go to to be the police station.

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 & 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Sing To Me by Missio 💙

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness / Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds / And that's why / I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail / It's like, all day my vanity is for sale / Take it away, my head is in my own hell /

Sing to me, I am not doing well / Getting tired of my own words / Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself / Through the loudness of my own hurts / Call me selfish when I say this, say this / I'm kinda helpless, and I need you / Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well /

Somebody told me that there's two sides to this life / I think I might've chosen darkness over light /

These two are two sides of the same coin, but no side is brighter than the other. I feel like they are kind of mirroring each other in the way they feel about themselves, which is why these lyrics mirror both of them towards each other as both are in need of salvation as they’re drowning in their own minds. Dazai is just better at hiding it from Atsushi.

💙 Namae wo yobu yo (Call A Name) by Luck Life (Season 1 Ending) 💙

I was searching / For the reason I’m able to remain as myself / If there’s a version of me / That exists within your heart / That even amid the darkness on this long, hilly road / I feel I can become a new me / Able to make my way through / So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling / So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together / I’ll call out a name / Your name / So that you can remain who you are /

Technically, lyrically it’s the entirety of the song, but I will not write down all of it lmao And it’s the Atsushi and Dazai parallels here again. It’s not just the ending with the animation that shows it for me, but the lyrics reflect both of them in them as well. I absolutely loved this ending. I never ship characters as I do not care about that, but I really love these two (separately)~ (What they mean for each other aka what they might mean for each other in the future [peace of mind/finding worth for Atsushi, and a reason to live for Dazai, etc.], how they’re already helping each other [Dazai helping Atsushi with feeling worthless, and Dazai finding a bit of piece of mind], etc. etc. etc.) I haven’t loved 2 characters in an anime as much as this in quite a long time (The last time was Kougami and Akane in Psycho Pass) as I find making up characters as complex as them and make them fit together as well as them/make them complement each other/balance each other out is actually pretty hard to do really well.

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Making up this list took waaaaay longer than it should’ve. (I did not include Katai because I couldn’t think of a single song for him, sorry.)

[aforrestofstuff]

Okay! I have a burning question for you, my dude. Music is my life, and I wanna know what kind of music the OPM casts listen to. Thanks, my guy!

I had a feeling this would be inevitable lol. I don’t really know a whole lot about music or genres or anything like that so I’m just gonna give you a rundown of each character individually and some song recs along with that just to smooth things out a little. Thanks for your ask, by the way! ❤️ Now my playlists will be put to good use.

A Brief Rundown of the Major OPM Characters’ Music Tastes:

Blast: hc that he doesn’t even have ears since he never fucking LISTENS

Terrible Tornado: Stuff that makes her feel powerful. Loud vocals and good instrumentals. Also, she’s a little angsty since she’s saltier than the gotdamn Pacific almost all of the time. (Recs: Florence and the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Susanne Sundfør - Delirious, Florence and the Machine - What Kind of Man, Kali Uchis - Dead to Me, Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me)

Fubuki: some of that real classy shit. Slow songs that are nice to just have a cup of tea with. Nothing too meaty or fast-paced, she enjoys taking a moment to breathe every once and a while since life gets pretty hectic when you’re managing a gang of some 30 hooligans. (Recs: Wes - Midnight Low, any song from Lana Del Rey’s entire discography lol, Florence and the Machine - Grace, The Marìas - I Don’t Know You, Yellow House - Ain’t Gonna Call, Feng Suave - Toking, Dozing)

Silverfang: Stuff from his time. I hc that he was a bit of a party animal back in his prime so he’s gotta have those grooves. Disco to the extremo. Also, another hc: Garou absolutely hates his music. He would play it during training and Garou would contemplate homicide. (Recs: Frankie Valli - Grease, The Edgar Winter Group - Free Ride, KC and the Sunshine Band - I’m Your Boogie Man, Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride, The Main Ingredient - Everybody Plays the Fool, Andrea True Connection - More, More, More)

Bomb: save as Silverfang, although I hc that Bomb was a little more of a nerd growing up. Still, he never missed out on a good party. (Additional Recs: KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight, The Trammps - Disco Inferno, Tierra - Together, Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose - Too Late to Turn Back Now)

Atomic Samurai: Old shit. Shit older than Silverfang. He’s really not that old, but his soul is fucking ancient and he’s got that classic “grrr music these days sucks” kind of shithead attitude. (Recs: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle, Dion - Runaround Sue, The Carpenters - The End of the World, The Band - The Weight)

Child Emperor: Upbeat synth. Stuff to listen to while he’s working on his machines and whatnot. Probably has meaty beats to keep him in tune with what he’s doing, like working around a clock. Probably some groovy citypop in there too. (Recs: Taeko Ohnuki - 4:00 AM, Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number, Tatsuro Yamashita - Magic Ways, Hiroyuki Sawano - NEXUS, Superfly - Kakusei, Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love)

Metal Knight: Intrumentals that Disney villains listen to. Deep, dark shit that makes you feel sad. He probably feeds off of negative emotion. What a toolbag. (Recs: Lucas King - Sociopath, Abel Korzeniowski- Table for Two, Max Richter - Never Goodbye, Max Richter - She Remembers, Evelyn Stein - Quiet Resource, Mac Quayle - Adagio in G Minor)

King: video game soundtracks, obviously. Might be some electro funk in there too, as a treat. (Recs: Metal Gear Solid 3 OST - Snake Eater, Mick Gordon - Rip and Tear, Xenoblade Chronicles OST - Main Theme, Persona 5 OST - Last Surprise, Daft Punk - Verdis Quo, Toby Fox - Hopes and Dreams, Disasterpeace - Prologue, iamthekidyouknowwhatimean - Run, Darren Korb - Old Friends)

Zombieman: Dad Music. Old rock that makes you wanna rail some lines of white thunder and dance on top of a car. He’d be reluctant to try out new stuff but does so nevertheless. Just a little bit of weird alternative here and there. (Recs: Poison - Unskinny Bop, Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood, Black Sabbath - War Pigs, Def Leppard - Animal, CRX - Walls, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Pink Floyd - Money, Queens of the Stone Age - Villains of Circumstance)

Drive Knight: Dark synth, obviously. Need I say more? (Recs: El Tigr3 - She Swallowed Burning Coals, Trevor Something - Enjoy the Silence, Greg Drombrowski - Devour, GUNSHIP - Woken Furies, GUNSHIP - Thrasher, Carpenter Brut - Invasion A.D., Kavinsky - Nightcall)

Pig God: this guy probably just listens to ASMR of people eating food lol.

Superalloy Darkshine: Upbeat stuff that’s good for exercise; loving those new jams along with some of the old. He’s got a pretty groovy style. (Diane Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, Saint Motel - Puzzle Pieces, CRUISR - All Over, Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up, Sade - Kiss of Life)

Watchdog Man: 10 hour loop of wolves howling on a summer night.

Flashy Flash: classical. Some nice instrumentals to listen to while training. Stuff that preferably doesn’t have any or very little lyrics so it’s not too busy on his ears while he’s fantasizing about killing someone. (Recs: Vaughn Williams - The Lark Ascending, Debussy - Rêverie, Grieg - Peace of the Woods, André Laplante - Une Barque sur L’Ocean)

Metal Bat: Modern alternative. A little bit harder than say, Mumen and Kama, but not as hard as Zombieman or Death Gatling. He’s that middle ground where he’s still got some real bangers, but Zenko can listen as well. He’ll play this stuff loudly as he’s doing chores and working out, no headphones ever. It gets pretty annoying. (Recs: Foals - Exits, The Blue Stones - Black Holes, Solid Ground, CRX - Broken Bones, Jungle - Happy Man, The Strokes - Reptilia, We Are Trees - Girlfriend)

Genos: synth. But not just any synth, some heavy, fast-paced synth that’s just like him: speedy, relentless, and powerful. He listens to shit that’ll make you wanna get up and start killing Terminators. Probably. There’s some other synths in the mix too because we love a three-dimensional king. (Recs: Carpenter Brut - Division Ruine, The Protomen - I Still Believe, Carpenter Brut - Leather Teeth, Gunship - Tech Noir, TWRP - Phantom Racer, Le Castle Vania - Red Circle)

Tanktop Master: Dad music but the type of dad music that makes you think your dad was a sappy nerd back in the day. Long tracks that are good for workouts. (Tears for Fears - Woman in Chains, Pink Floyd - Us and Them, Duran Duran - Ordinary World, Billy Idol - Eyes without a Face, A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran, The Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky, Tears for Fears - Sowing the Seeds of Love)

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Pop. Dance music. He doesn’t really get to listen to a lot of music in prison, so he holds on to whatever he can and savors every second of it. (Coldplay - Talk, Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby, Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, Flo Milli - Beef Flomix, Doja Cat - Say So)

Mumen Rider: Hes a lighthearted, soft boy. Likes some fluffy indie tunes. It helps to motivate him when working out or doing hero stuff. He might need to cry every once in a while though, so there’s some sad songs in the mix too. (Recs: Varsity - The Dogs Only Listen to Him, The The - This is the Day, Amarante - Don’t Look Back, Alvvays - Saved by a Waif, The Monkees - As We Go Along, Acid Ghost - Hide my Face, Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice)

Sonic: same as Flash. He’s a little more hip with the times however, so he’s got some more groovy, electronic instrumentals to listen to in addition to some elegant stuff and isn’t opposed to having a little bit of lyrics sprinkled in there as well. In fact, he’s not opposed to uppity pop either. He thinks dancing is frivolous but he secretly does it when he thinks nobody is looking. (Additional Recs: Odesza - Bloom, Pretty Lights - One Day They’ll Know [Odesza Remix], BØRNS - Electric Love, Hembree - Culture, The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of the Birds)

Garou: same as Metal Bat. Bang let him have a little MP3 player during his time at the dojo and has since collected a few songs on there. They’re very near and dear to his heart since it’s one of the few good things that came from his absolute disaster of a childhood. (Additional Recs: Foals - Inhaler, CRX - Slow Down, Deep Sea Arcade - Close to Me, Gorillaz - Empire Ants, The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, Glass Animals - Take A Slice)

Death Gatling: Shit your old Vietnam-vet grandpa would blast on the back of his F150. He gives me self-righteous asshole vibes, if I’m honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like Death Gatling, but he seems like the type of trailer park-dwelling sewer rat to carry a revolver into a Walmart for “self defense” and that’s probably the type of music he listens to, too. (Recs: Megadeth - Trust, Megadeth - Angry Again, Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son, Glen Campbell - Southern Nights, Mötley Crüe - Kickstart My Heart, Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize)

One-Shotter: I hard hc that he had an emo phase he never quite grew out of. He doesn’t quite listen to emo anymore but he’s still into that alternative shit. Homeboy also likes some slow tunes every once and a while because he’s an emotional dude who’s not afraid of a good cry. (Recs: Anything from Blink-182, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?, MGMT - When You Die, Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Cigarettes After Sex - Dreaming of You, Yon Ort - Other Matter)

Lightning Max: Same as Genos but without the terminator-killing. Fast-paced stuff because he’s a fast lightning dude. A little more upbeat because he’s not as much as an edgelord as Genos, however. (Additional Recs: Carpenter Brut - Hang’em All, The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize, Worn Tin - Sensitivity, B.E.R. - The Night Begins to Shine, Martin Hall - Different Kind of Love)

Stinger: he’s all about that FUNK! Stuff that gets him moving! Stuff that makes him wanna dance! (Recs: Daft Punk - Doin’ it Right, TWRP - Body Image, Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music, Chemise - She Can’t Love You, Saga - Wind Him Up, Saga - On the Loose, TWRP - All Night Forever)

Okamaitachi: they give me electro vibes! New, modern shit that’s good to dance to or to just sit down and have a listen! Also, some shit that’ll probably play in a coming-of-age teen movie or something. They don’t really vibe with heavy music and that’s alright, babey! Keeping it light and bouncy. (Recs: Tei Shi - Bassically, Varsity - Must Be Nice, Class Actress - Weekend, CHVRCHES - Richard Pryor, Alvvays - Marry Me, Archie, Sobs - Telltale Signs, Goth Babe - Sometimes, ALASKALASKA - Meateater)

Iaian: Nice, low tunes that are good for meditation and to be used for background noise during training sessions. He never really sits down to listen to music, it’s always in the background of something else he’s doing so he prefers to have some soft beats that don’t really interfere with his senses. Tunes so quiet, he sometimes uses them as lullabies; especially since the trauma of losing his arm has since made it hard to sleep. (Recs: Boy Scouts - Saddest Boy, Susanne Sundfør - Mantra, Vashiti Bunyan - If I Were the Same but Different, Starman Jr. - Blue Fairy, Patrick Watson - Je te Laisserai des Mots, Sibylle Baier - I Lost Something in the Hills)

Bushidrill: same as Atomic Samurai just without the shitty attitude. He’s happy to listen to some newer stuff, he just doesn’t like it and that’s okay, baby! Probably some classy shit your wise old grandpa would listen to. (Recs: Dean Martin - Volare, Dion - The Wanderer, Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questra Musica Stasera, anything from Luis Miguel lol, Franco Micalizzi - Sadness Theme)

Amai Mask: probably just listens to his own music like a putz. If not, he’s listening to the sound equivalent of glittering diamonds. He’s probably got this shit playing at the end of a long day while he’s chilling in a hot bath or something. (Recs: Fergie - Glamorous, Rita Ora - Hot Right Now, Lana Del Rey - Freak, Lana Del Rey - Art Deco, Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards)

Saitama: He doesn’t listen to music much anymore, sadly. He did, however, have a killer motivational mix to get him through his vigorous training prior to becoming a hero. (Recs: Paul Engemann - Push it to the Limit, Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’, College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero, Joe Esposito - You’re the Best Around, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger, The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway)

Here’s the playlist with all of these songs in order (mostly):

It’s on YouTube because I’m allergic to Spotify. I’ve got a doctor’s note. Also, all of my other playlists are on my little profile thingy so if you want to listen to my pile then go right ahead.

Thanks for your ask, my dude! ❤️ this took up ALL of my energy lol but it was fun.

[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Tess & Katya

Fearghal: [Notes in detention, let's say he's there today 'cos some teacher was a patronizing dickhead and he told 'em to do one and then did himself] Tess: [we all know she was brawling but let's assume something/someone stopped her at the start of it cos she has no chill rn and they'd be dead] Fearghal: Hey up Tess: g'wed Fearghal: what you in for Tess: [draws a spoon because that means to make a mistake in scouse but with a hand gripping the handle because 'gripped' is caught] Fearghal: [draws an eye on the spoon] Tess: [when you're amused af but you can't show it because such is life so you just draw a big ? like what do you want] Fearghal: you not in year 11? Tess: [cross out the 1 and write a 0] Fearghal: [draws a smiley in the 0 so it looks like an E and does his own question mark] Tess: [writes however much that'd cost back then because idk] Fearghal: sound Fearghal: what's your name then Tess: [draws a _ like fill in anything you like] not gonna fuck you whatever you call me Fearghal: [does a lol and gets told to shut up] Fearghal: alright, blondie it is Tess: [makes a 😒 face at him] bleach ain't only a pure boss bevvy Fearghal: [huge grins back like] Fearghal: so you're smart and all Tess: [🖕 because does she care if the teacher sees not really but 😏 because try and keep some customers babe] Tess: can count the spends you owe if you're deciding you'll leg it Fearghal: [does 'dagger through my heart' act] Fearghal: not do that, you know where I live, babe Tess: if you wanna call it living, irish Fearghal: Living it up in Heswall are ya? I'll pop in for tea when I'm in the area meself Tess: you a scuffer with a baby face? [draws a baby policeman with an irish flag] Fearghal: get fucked am I Fearghal: new one, give you credit there Tess: ask a lotta geg questions, new lad, bit rem if you ain't earning from it Fearghal: Shit, don't tell Donovan he's right Fearghal: really can't read Tess: [is again so amused on the low but] do less drugs Tess: learn more scouse Fearghal: must be your main gig Fearghal: teach me then, blondie Tess: your gary orders are properly keeping my leccy on, yeah [draws a 💡 with a smiley face] Fearghal: better teacher than this lot but that ain't saying fuck all but I reckon I'd learn a thing or two if you were up there instead Fearghal: [throws paperball at board for emphasis and then has to go put it in the bin like 😏] Tess: whatever your meff mates in year 11 have said, they didn't learn or catch nothing off me Fearghal: [when he's back in his seat] Fearghal: I ain't got any blondie, you're alright Tess: [draws him a medal] made up for yous Fearghal: [makes it have a sad face] shouldn't be Tess: [crosses it out like I take it back then] Fearghal: [draws a heart] Tess: [rips up that page deliberately slowly like fuck you] Tess: giz us the £ and garry can show his face Fearghal: [laughs again like sh you have such a loud laugh but not bothered and neither is this teacher lowkey so] Fearghal: at the end, not necking it now, babe Tess: [draws a broken heart with garry written in it] Tess: call me babe again and you ain't getting it Fearghal: [crosses it out] Tess: not as rem as your face would have you look Fearghal: s'okay, I know I'm cute, blondie Tess: stop listening to your ma, irish, she's feeding you lies with the scran Fearghal: don't think it's in her vocabulary or recipe book Fearghal: [crosses out garry and writes his own name] Tess: how am I meant to say that? barely read it Fearghal: want me to teach you Fearghal: gave me the scouse 101 for free Tess: point you in the direction of a girl that'll work on, is right Fearghal: you're a pal Tess: friendly neighbourhood dealer Fearghal: [draws a really crap spiderman] Tess: gonna tat that on me, full credit to yous Fearghal: it is my look too so tah for that Tess: [looks at him like she genuinely hasn't noticed cos lowkey never looks at people if she can help it] Fearghal: [lifts his sleeves where necessary like hiya] Tess: [🙄 but she hasn't looked away so] Fearghal: and that's just the safe for school ones, jailbait Tess: [puts her hand up and is like sir this boy is flirting with me cos she knows he won't actually do anything but she's like um shut up fearghal] Fearghal: [always loling] Tess: try downers Fearghal: what would the chef recommend Tess: I'm not a walking menu Tess: how full's your wallet? Fearghal: not that full Fearghal: but my gaff is shit enough to make me [sad face] Tess: [draws a him with that sad face at a lemonade stand because lemonade is slang for shit drugs I don't think it's scouse but I'm still doing it] Fearghal: [draws a stickman teacher pissing in his cup] Tess: [😏 before she can help it, let's hope her hair is covering her face enough] Fearghal: [draws a landline phone] 123 what's the time and how long we got left Tess: [draws a clock with the time on as it is now and another one with the time they are allowed to leave as if she's challenging him to be able to tell time lol] Fearghal: not flirting with you or nothing but you got the glasses and pencil skirt or have I gotta fork out for them too Tess: [crosses them both out cos she doesn't have either of course and underlines the fork out bit like unlucky] Fearghal: tell all me mates your well expensive, fairplay Tess: tell 'em I ain't for sale and you won't get wrecked Fearghal: sure, lemme hit 'em with my next note Fearghal: [throws it at an empty desk like sup lads] Tess: [draws some ghost 90s fuckboys because amused again] Fearghal: [gives 'em stereotypical scouse names like idk, all of the beatles etc] Fearghal: bessie mates, right Tess: stay close to george, the rest are cunts Fearghal: looking out for me so you can do me in yourself Tess: need you to keep the wolves from my door, irish Tess: dead hero's no use Fearghal: so tell me Fearghal: which one am I, spidey Tess: [shrugs but we all know she's a massive nerd] Fearghal: take superman then Fearghal: 'least draw me the S and I'll see if I've got room on me chest Tess: [draws it at him in the air like] Fearghal: [catches it and thumps on his chest like sorted] Tess: [🙄] Fearghal: [draws a crossed-eyed face with glasses and the teacher bun] Tess: [puts a knife in her hand cos very subtle warning there] Fearghal: [draws target on his back] Tess: [😏] Fearghal: what parties are you hitting tonight Tess: every one Fearghal: busy [🐝] Tess: patronising [drawing of a slug because there isn't an emoji how rude] Fearghal: can put the salt away, meant it, honey [🍯💘] Tess: call me honey again and I'll stab you Fearghal: strangeways, here we come Tess: morgue for yous Fearghal: wish it were a promise, blondie Tess: it is, not a soft lad, i don't only put the tip in, like Fearghal: [puts his hand up like sir this girl is flirting with me] Tess: you wish Fearghal: [does daydream bubble above his cartoon head and sighs IRL so wistfully and dramatically] Tess: [writes I'm a doss cunt in the bubble and makes him be crying] Fearghal: awh, well how'd you know Tess: [points to her eyes like I've got them and use them] Fearghal: pretty Tess: [when you cross it out so dramatically cos you're fuming now because 1. we can all imagine the shit josh used to say 2. she's not allowed to live that way 3. thinks he's just flirting with her like the rest cos she's easy] Tess: fuck off Fearghal: [a bit like ?! but has the decency to hide it like shrugging like alright] Tess: [moody silence be like because can't look at him cos then eye contact and don't think about my eyes please] Fearghal: is charlie coming tonight too Fearghal: [coke] Tess: Yeah Fearghal: y'know what time? Fearghal: [price] Tess: [again idk but let's say she writes it there for him obvs] Fearghal: [does thumbs up when he can catch her eye for a sec] Tess: [nods to show that she saw it but those eyes are dead honey] Fearghal: what do you reckon he peps his coffee up with then [gesturing at the teacher who's so out of it] Tess: scotch [draws a 👃 like figured that out ages ago bye] Tess: teacher's highland cream if he had jokes Fearghal: you're funny even if he ain't Fearghal: not giving him that much credit personally, least that's an actual drink Fearghal: I reckon it's straight paint thinner vodka in that black coffee Tess: he likes to actually drink, irish he's not woman having a midlife crisis Tess: that was his wife Fearghal: so it ain't her red wine leftovers in there Tess: it'd be turned to vinegar Fearghal: [draws broken heart] Fearghal: bless him Tess: you sound like you're a woman having a midlife crisis Fearghal: ugly bitch if I am Tess: sound not look, bitch Fearghal: I get it Fearghal: older women are hot Tess: [crosses it out like no thank you] Fearghal: [draws himself with long hair crying] Tess: [starts putting her hand up again but puts it down immediately cos just for the bants] Fearghal: [is 😏] Fearghal: you'd know if I was Fearghal: reps anything to go by Tess: [draws an arrow to the older women are hot comment even though she put a line through it let's say it's still readable and a 💔 next to it] Tess: too young for you Fearghal: you're gutted Tess: [goes over and over the 💔 until it's really dark and emphasised like yeah obvs] Fearghal: eh carve it on the desk so i know its real, blondie Tess: [does because give a shit] Fearghal: [beats whatever is probably written about them in the bathrooms etc] Tess: [taking a sec to deal with her other notes/drug deals while the teacher is drunkenly asleep like] Tess: carve it into his head so i know it's real, fearghal Fearghal: [the rest of y'all better keep your chill enough so he can get it done then you can all run out early tah, 'DOSS CUNT' is the way to go obvs] Tess: [is so 😏 not fake rn at all] Tess: [people be following her like she's the pied piper cos deals to be done] Fearghal: [goes off like he ain't gonna stay but is actually just going for a piss or whatever so the crowd dies down a bit] Tess: [when you're waiting because you need the cash but it looks like you're shamelessly waiting for him] Fearghal: [walks back when the last kid is leaving and makes a face like 'looks like you'd make lots offa him'] Tess: [giving nothing away by your face because in work mode] Fearghal: [when you sit down on a step, wherever and get out a pouch of baccy and a rizla and start rolling 'cos conflicted 'cos got your own shit you have to save for here but also clearly need to get fucked up atm so- but you offer her the first one 'may as well'] Tess: [gives him a death stare like fuck you I can roll my own and probs better than you but still takes it but deliberately doesn't sit cos gotta keep that distance, blowing smoke like you're so furious he's being a time waster when we all know it's good to take a sec actually] Fearghal: [gives an amused little half-laugh on the exhale of his own smoke at her display 'can't charge me for time, still have 20 minutes in there if it weren't for me, blondie' shrugs] Tess: [just got the 🚬 in your mouth so you can pick at the bitten skin around your nails like it's not sore enough already and pretend like he doesn't exist to you] Fearghal: [just whistling to yourself 'cos you can't do silence] Tess: [when you lowkey kick him like shut up omg because can't pretend he's not there if he won't let you and to remind him you still are like are we doing this deal or nah] Fearghal: [slides the cash over to her on the floor like there you go] Tess: [hands him them droogs after she's picked up and counted the cash of course but she's written her name for him on whatever they're in like there you go 'nickname can go die on it's arse now' but we all know she'd die if he called her by her name actually] Fearghal: [breathes out like really? when he sees her name 'cos coincidences everywhere and shakes his head like 'fuck sake' and a little lol 'as long as you don't stab me for it, I'll stick with Blondie, tah'] Tess: [another death stare because what's wrong with my name fuck you and also so glad I bothered telling you then but crosses her name out like it's so casual which makes me lol cos it looks like she's gonna take her drugs back like none for you bye] Fearghal: [just getting up to either get his drugs or money back but still more bemused than mad, like 'nothing personal, babe'] Tess: [shoves his drugs back at him because don't call me babe] Fearghal: [does a cross over his mouth like whoops and pockets the droogs 'tah'] Tess: [just 🚬 like because as he said nowhere to be yet] Fearghal: [when you're just in your thoughts but trying not to be so you gotta lowkey make smalltalk 'you always lived here?'] Tess: ['the accent's not jarg, irish, is yours?' why is that the word for fake okay then] Fearghal: [can just about follow that one lol 'yeah, reckon it'd make me dead popular, nothing like fitting in' gestures at himself up and down with a grin 'cos does not in any way] Tess: [looks him up and down like 😒 don't protest too much babe 'heard you ain't had no issue finding holes to fit yourself in' cos that milf rumor popping off] Fearghal: ['careful, indifference gets to sounding like jealousy if you shout about it' but shrugs like and what?] Tess: [laughs in a way that would be so much like a fuck you 'proper scouse 101, say a cunt's still got a ma and da under one roof, don't come and fuck that ma under the same, however boss she looks in a nightie and slippers'] Fearghal: [makes a face that's so fake shook 'Well now you tell me, Blondie- No bother, 'cos if I can get in, s'the family that's already broken, not the door, give a fuck if some soft lad-' mimics her accent for that bit- 'and his da are gonna cry about it, his mum weren't'] Tess: [shrugs because lbr if that lad was gonna do anything or his dad they already would have and she's done her bit by 'warning' him for next time] Fearghal: [flicks his ash away and coughs 'if they seem desperate to get caught themselves, I'll reconsider next time, maybe'] Tess: ['it's your life, babe' mimics his accent for the babe because have to if he did it first] Fearghal: [nods like 😏 'nah fairplay my accent is well fit'] Tess: [the most disgusted face she can do and still be serious] Fearghal: [just laughing always 'alright then blondie, see you later'] Tess: [nods because inevitably] Fearghal: [time skip to a party] Tess: [girl be working hard drinking some horrible 90s energy drink that's probably worse for you than drugs because much to do] Fearghal: [can only imagine how gone he and Katya are] Tess: [everyone but her lowkey how bored she'd be] Fearghal: [s'not a mood but this party wouldn't really be anyway we all know it Tess: [story of their lives] Katya: [gonna be looking ravey af, the glitter and neon paint would be so real, coming up like 'hello' like you're already mates] Tess: [when she'd be shook because nobody says hello to her ever but covering it well of course and just giving her a look like what do you want because there's only one reason she's here] Katya: ['You look very bored'] Tess: [has to stop herself from loling because caught off guard again as that wasn't what she expected her to say but just looks at her like let me sell you some drugs and then I'll have something to do] Katya: [looks at her and raises an eyebrow like, I don't buy my own drugs 'Would you like something else to drink?'] Tess: [is conflicted af because obviously would because this party is boring af but like is also working and also we know the state of her father and also doesn't like owing people things which reminds her that she owes Fearghal a smoke so she's like 'where's the irish lad?' because thinks they are fucking/know each other better than they do] Katya: [has a look round genuinely like idk let's see but clearly can't see him or she would've babe, rolls eyes but affectionately 'must be upstairs'] Tess: [shrugs like it's so casual but goes to get a real drink cos fuck it] Katya: [is like 'hey!' 'cos she was gonna get it but smiles and stays put 'cos not gonna follow her that hard] Tess: [is probably ages cos getting waylaid by punters but comes back to stand where she was cos Katya is less annoying than the other dickheads here] Katya: [has just been grooving, with lads she wanna, avoiding the ones she don't like 'scuse me, in that vain running up to Tess and being like 'save me' in her ear so this particular one takes the hint] Tess: [death stares whoever it is like off you fuck now cos you don't wanna start shit with her boy] Katya: [shrugs at him like whoops sorry but is 😏 so evidently not 'Мудак' (Mu-dak, specifically for dudes) as she turns back to Tess, shaking her head] Fearghal: [suddenly popping back up like 'Dunno what you just called me but don't reckon I deserve it, like'] Tess: [is also 😏 because amused by Katya's antics anyway but have to keep the expression on around Fearghal of course and puts a 🚬 in his hand immediately like] Fearghal: [looks at it then at her like confusion 'cos high but then 💡 and nods her way like oh yeah, cheers and puts it behind his ear for later and puts an arm around Katya who is squishing his face like 'never!'] Tess: [when they are nothing like Josh or Summer but it reminds her of having friends so she wants to die just drinking too fast like] Fearghal: [the mood so neither of them is gonna call her out on it even though they see it, Fearghal specifically looking at her like 'Celebrating?' and a face like same 'cos doesn't need saying that obvs not but Katya raising whatever she's got like 'Ha За здоровье!'] Tess: [when she just ignores him and cheers Katya with whatever you're drinking as like I'll be off now but then she sees that the gruesome twosome are here and straight up freezes] Fearghal: [when you both look and are both 😒 like eurgh 'cos wouldn't fuck with either of them as is and like everyone knows who they are in relation to Tess so get why she's reacted like that, so he goes off to get more drinks having to go past them like 'scuse me dickheads and Katya turning her back so Tess can stand her ground and not but still look like they having an in-depth convo 'she was your friend' a statement way more than a question 'I think she would like to be you, she is an idiot'] Tess: [watching them kiss and dance together cos can't look away so I hope Fearghal barges into them even if he didn't need to so she can stop and down the rest of her drink to get rid of the taste of blood in her mouth from holding herself back from doing anything else since she's still got drugs on her like we said, can't be starting drama especially with Summer who's 100% that bitch. About to nod at Katya because she was her friend for such a long time but then snapping the fuck out of that instinct and shaking her head because not anymore clearly and scoffing because yeah Summer is an idiot, who'd wanna be her when she doesn't even wanna] Fearghal: [Katya scoffs back 'She would rather be thought pretty and have boyfriend than have things that matters but this is like all girls our age, yes? Silly, knowing nothing about anything.' Fearghal coming back with three of whatever and shoving one at Tess as quick as she did the cigarette, swapping it for her empty, throwing it not at Summer and Josh but in their general direction 'What would you like to do?' Katya adds, taking a swig of her drink 'We can find you more customers if you would like'] Tess: [literally would wanna say something about how much Josh and the family they were meant to be did matter but not drunk enough for that although she blatantly will be soon cos haven't eaten anything in forever probably and would drink like half the drink he just gave her immediately like what could go wrong here. Finally saying 'Yeah' to both things but so quietly they'd struggle to hear it over this rave if they were anybody else and making herself move into the crowd to get customers instead of away which is what she'd wanna do] Fearghal: [she can go off to get all the lads and clearly get so fucked up 'cos all gonna buy her some too 'cos that's the ploy here, whereas he's gonna stay in sight 'cos shamelessly protective and can step in if anything kicks off with those two] Tess: [god bless, not all heroes wear capes lads, I appreciate less lads for Tess to have to deal with as she's getting white girl wasted in this club] Fearghal: [go have a cry you deserve it lbr] Tess: [just in the bathroom like the girly cliche you're not] Fearghal: [have at it honey, shame he can't smack Josh yet really] Tess: [kick everyone out first though you don't need that to be your rep] Fearghal: [meanwhile actually do smack him 'cos any reason at a party where everyone's fucked up] Tess: [hooray for coming back and them being gone] Fearghal: [small blessings, and they've probably shifted a fair amount between 'em so] Tess: [give this smol drunk child her money lads and she'll try not to cry on you] Fearghal: [all the funds for you] Tess: [give them a drug freebie like thanks even if Katya might wanna save hers for later if she's had loads] Fearghal: [I hope you've cheeked some for later or you'll be so skyhigh/about to die lol] Tess: [when she'd just wanna leave but like that's not her life]

[hazel-wolf]

Damon and Hazel, after Full Moon

Hazel had gotten up earlier today then Stefan and Elena. She decided not to wake them, and walked down to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. It had been four days since the full moon and they’d come back to the boarding house. Four days since she’d turned into a wolf. Her entire body suddenly tensed when she caught a scent she knew all to well near her. Damon. Normally she would have been happy to see him. Now she wasn’t sure what she felt. She’d texted him just about everyday with Elena’s phone, but she hadn’t since the full moon.  His reaction to her wolf self still stung. She’d been avoiding him for the last four days, using her werewolf senses to know when he was close so she didn’t have to talk to him.

She knew it was stupid. A werewolf could kill a vampire. But she had proven to Elena, to all of them, she was still herself. Maybe it was stupid, but she’d honestly expected Elena to convince the others she was harmless. She’d expected Damon to come see her and stay, to see she was still Hazel. Why hadn’t he? He’d said sorry as he left, but she didn’t get it. The look in his eyes as he looked at her… Would he care about her still? Would the fact she was a werewolf get in the way of making people care about her?  Her parent’s words echoed in her head, from when she’d first triggered the curse…

No one will ever love you! Now that you’re a werewolf, no one could ever truly care about you. Once they know what you are, they’ll hate you. You were already unlovable, now you’ll always be.

If Damon hadn’t liked her wolf self, if he couldn’t stand being in her presence for more than a few seconds as a wolf, maybe he didn’t like her anymore. How could he look at her and not see the wolf in her now? Why did it have to matter? She wasn’t like other werewolves…She was happy and grateful Elena had stayed, it meant the world to Hazel. She thought of Elena as a mother now, as her mother, so Elena being with her and trusting her had made her feel so happy. But it hurt not everyone had been comfortable with her. Even Stefan had seemed a little nervous. Her wolf self was a part of her, and she wanted that part to be liked.

She sat at the table with her glass, looking down at her hands, not saying anything to Damon. She felt a lump in her throat, and she knew if she tried to talk she’d cry. She didn’t want to look at him, scared of what she’d see.

Damon rolled over in his bed early a few days after the full moon. He groggily reached for his phone checking to see if he had any messages or anything. All he had was the time staring him in the face. He groaned as he set his phone down. He rolled over kissing Katherine softly. He got out of bed grabbing a towel to wrap around his naked body and headed to the shower.

While in the shower he was alone with his thoughts. He and Katherine had decided to stop being so nice, to go back to their normal selves. Of course, Damon wouldn’t be running around Mystic Falls killing…he’d resist that. Katherine had told him to do what came naturally to him, and he would just follow his instincts from now on. He thought of Hazel hearing light footsteps in the house. He knew it was more than likely her.

He was sure she was upset with him. She hadn’t talked to him since the night of the full moon. He himself wasn’t exactly up for having a talk about what happened. She didn’t know his history with werewolves. He couldn’t really handle it. He could see Hazel’s eyes in the wolf’s face, but he couldn’t get past the fact that it was a wolf staring him in the face.

Once he was out of the shower he headed downstairs. He needed some blood. He went to the cellar and grabbed a bag. Once he was in the kitchen he saw Hazel and gave her a light smile, but saw that she wasn’t looking at him. He grabbed a cup and tore open the blood bag pouring it’s contents in the glass. He put the glass in the microwave warming it up. If he wasn’t going to feed on humans, he was at least going to drink blood at it’s normal temperature. He turned and faced Hazel his eyes piercing into her face. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah,” mumbled Hazel. She glanced at him for a moment, and then looked back down again. She wanted to ask him right out if he still cared about her and why he hadn’t stayed, but she couldn’t get the words out. She continued to look down at her hands, unable to even feel like drinking the orange juice beside her.

The microwave beeped and he pulled his cup out of there and took a big sip of blood. He shut his eyes for a moment. He thought of the person’s blood he was drinking. Of course it was donated blood, but he had imagined the kill in his mind. It was a woman, she was in her mid 20s, brunette, she was heading back to her car and Damon watched her from afar. She would turn around, scared and call out for someone. When no one answered and she was scared enough Damon would go up to her with vampire speed, his fangs piercing the skin of her neck allowing the blood to pour into his mouth.

He opened his eyes, a grin on his face, but it faded as he looked at Hazel. He tilted his head slightly looking at her curiously. He knew it probably had to do with the full moon incident. “What’s wrong?” He asked in a concerning voice.

It was Damon asking her what was wrong that made her break down. Tears fell from her eyes as she choked out, “Do you still care about me? I was still me. You saw. Elena knew it was still me. Why did you leave? Do you hate me now?” She sniffed. She couldn’t stop the tears. “My parents said no one could ever love me because of what I am… is that how you feel now?” She wanted Damon to care about her, all of her, her wolf and human self. Tears kept falling and she looked down at her hands again.

Damon’s brows furrowed as she spoke and he tilted his head slightly. “I don’t hate you Hazel.” He said before taking another sip of blood. “There’s a lot you don’t understand.” His tone was completely calm. He thought back to his argument with Elena, but pushed the memories away not wanting to get mad all over again. “I’ve had…issues with werewolves. I’m not saying you’re like them…it just brought back some memories I wasn’t exactly wanting to deal with.” He admitted before taking a long sip.

“You don’t?” Hazel asked, rubbing her eyes, hopeful. “Would you tell me about it? Because Damon I want you to know, whatever those werewolves have done, I never would. I’m still Hazel. I just look different. I don’t want you to look at me and think of them.” Hazel wanted to talk to Damon about this. She still held hope one day he’d accept her wolf self. Maybe enough so he’d be comfortable near her.

“I know how it feels, when certain memories come back. That’s why I was so upset… you looked at me like my parents did. Like you wanted nothing to do with me.” She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

“No I don’t.” Damon repeated. He listened to her speak and he felt sympathetic about her situation with her parents. He knew that they were terrible people, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to divulge into everything about the wolves. It’s not like what happened was years ago…it was still fresh in his mind. Him holding Rose, compelling her dream so she wouldn’t feel him kill her. His brows furrowed as he thought of it.”They took someone from me.” He said through clenched teeth. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” He said before turning his attention to his cup of blood. Rose didn’t deserve that, Jules was there for him, not Rose. If he ever crossed paths with her again…he would rip her heart out no questions asked.

Hazel was relieved to hear Damon didn’t hate her. “They did? I’m so sorry… you don’t have to talk about it.” Hazel didn’t know what Damon meant; did he mean they’d killed someone he cared about? She wasn’t sure, but she knew she shouldn’t ask. “I just, I want you to understand I would never do that! Ever. I don’t want you to look at me and see that. I’d never hurt you. Or Elena, Stefan, or Katherine.” She promised and added, “I… I feel like…” She paused, trying to gather her words right. “You feel like…a father…like a parent to me, as much as Elena and Stefan. I love you, like I love them, and I still feel that way as a wolf.” Hazel meant what she said. She didn’t want Damon to look at her, as a wolf or human, and think of those werewolves. She wanted Damon to love her back, and see her as something completely different from those wolves.

“I know.” Damon said when she promised that she wouldn’t hurt any of them. He knew that, but it would take him some time to move on from what happened. He was sure he’d carry the guilt of Rose’s death with him for some time. Damon almost choked on his blood as she spoke. “I do care about you Hazel.” He said blandly. He didn’t want to say anything else. He just couldn’t. He knew that he’d end up disappointing people if they ever knew how much they meant to him. He sighed. “It’s okay to think of Stefan and Elena that way, but you can’t think that way about me.” He finished off his blood and rinsed out the cup.

It made Hazel happy Damon said he cared about her, but she hoped he meant it. She wasn’t sure… “Why not?” She asked, looking at him. “That’s how I feel about you.” She didn’t say anything for a moment, watching him.

“Because I can’t be that for you.” Damon said with a sigh. “I’m sorry…I just can’t. I’m not that person…” His voice trailed off as he looked at Hazel. He could tell she wasn’t really sure what he was saying. You can’t think a murderer like me as a father figure. He thought to himself. “But Elena and Stefan are. They’ll take good care of you.” He meant what he said. He couldn’t be Hazel’s replacement father. He couldn’t be anyone’s anything like that.

Hazel frowned at Damon. Upset. She didn’t really understand why he would say that. “I think you’re that person.” She said stubbornly. “And I know they will take care of me. But I still see you as that…I love you like I do them. You’re all part of my new family now.”

Damon shook his head. “I’m sorry…I just can’t be that for you. I can be your friend, but I don’t know if I can be a part of your family.” He knew that it was hurting her to hear him say all of this, but it was true. He just couldn’t. He wasn’t that guy. He looked at her as he remained silent wondering what was going through her mind.

Hazel looked down, disappointed. “Why do you keep saying that?” She asked quietly, “I don’t understand why you can’t be… I mean, I’m happy we can be friends. But that doesn’t change my mind, I still see you as part of my family. Friends are part of people’s families too.” She added hopefully. Why does he keep fighting me on this? Why doesn’t he want me to think of him like that? Elena and Stefan don’t feel that way at all…

“Just stop!” Damon yelled at her. “Stop it! We’re not a family!” For a brief moment blood filled his eyes, but he stopped it before his fangs could come out. He had lost it, but he didn’t want to this anymore. It was almost like there were two Damon’s in his mind fighting over which one he was going to be, and he hated it. He wasn’t going to try and explain all of this to Hazel, she wouldn’t get it. He doubted even Elena would understand what he was saying. He calmed himself down, his breathing still heavy. He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t. He shut it and left the kitchen.

Hazel flinched when Damon yelled at her, in shock. Scared. She shook nervously. Even his face looked different, not Damon somehow. She didn’t like being yelled at, it always reminded her of her parents. But she’d never thought he’d yell at her. Her eyes stung as tears began to fall again, she made a choked noise in her throat, not understanding. Why was he so against it? Was it because he had never really cared for her? Had he just been pretending? Had he just been putting up with her? She got up, and choked out, “I’m sorry… I don’t blame you…who wants to be family with a werewolf?” She turned and ran to her room, closing her door, and lay on her bed and cried. She wanted to find Elena, but she couldn’t stop crying…

Damon was laying in his bed, his door shut and he could hear Hazel crying. He felt bad, but he needed to say what he said. He didn’t need to yell at her, but that’s just how it came out. He sighed as he listened to her, no doubt she was probably writing about it in her diary. He knew Elena would probably yell at him for this too. Elena really was like her mother, if he was around when Hazel stubbed her toe he’d probably get yelled at for having the wall there. He sighed and left his room going to Hazel’s door knocking lightly. “Hazel, open up.” He said in a calm voice.

Hazel heard Damon knock lightly at her door, asking her to open up. Hazel rubbed the tears from her eyes. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She didn’t want him to hurt her feelings anymore. “It’s okay… you don’t have to pretend. You’ve never cared about me have you?” Hazel asked sadly. “Why else would you get so upset about it. I’ll stop acting like we’re a family. You can go.” She sat silently on her bed, tears still falling. She wanted him to tell her she was wrong. But she was so scared he meant it. She couldn’t understand why else he’d get so mad when she referred to them as a family unless he didn’t like her. Elena and Stefan seemed happy when she told them she considered them her family. Why was Damon reacting so differently?

Damon sighed pressing his head against the door as Hazel spoke. He pulled away from the door and opened it slowly. “You’re overreacting.” Yeah Damon…a twelve year old is overacting to you yelling at her. He thought to himself once the words escaped his lips. He stood just a few feet in the room his hand still on the doorknob. “I don’t hate you, nor do I not care about you. I told you earlier I did.” He sighed once again. He didn’t know how to make her understand. “I just can’t have you thinking I’m something I’m not. I’m not some nice vampire that saves children. The sooner you understand that, the better it will be.” He wasn’t sure if what he said was getting through to her.

Hazel listened to Damon talk, annoyed when he said she was overreacting. She was not! She gave a faint sigh when he said he did care about her. “I, I know you care about me…” She agreed, “I don’t understand why you think that. I know you’re a vampire, but you did help me.” She was going to be stubborn on this. “I understand you’re a vampire… but I still see you as…” She trailed off. She didn’t want to say she saw him as part of her family again, worried that might make him angry. “I just got really upset about that, and the whole wolf thing. One day I hope you’ll be okay around me. It’ll always be me…” She sighed, Why was she still going on about this? She couldn’t let it go. “I just don’t get why you’re saying all of this. You helped me when we first met… so I don’t understand what you mean about me thinking your something your not…”

Damon’s whole body tensed up when it seemed like she was about to say that she felt like he was a part of her family again. He relaxed though, thankful she didn’t repeat it. Family? Stefan was his family, and they had been at each other’s throats most of their lives. There was always his father…but what kind of father kills his only sons? Elena, he assumed could be considered his family. They were close enough, but they often times didn’t see eye to eye. That left Katherine. She was more than his family, she was his entire world, his heart and soul. When it came to family, the very word was foreign to him, let alone the thought of being a part of a family.

Damon sighed knowing that she wouldn’t understand. “Hazel.” He said in a calm voice, “there’s just things you won’t be able to understand. So please just leave it at that and stop pushing the issue.” He was containing his frustration the best he could.

“Ok,” Hazel said softly. She was still upset at his reaction about her wolf self, and worried he’d never be able to accept it. She also didn’t understand why he kept rejecting the idea of them all being a family. She’d have to ask Elena why this was later. But he did care about her. She had to believe that. If it wasn’t true…but he said he did. She’d just have to believe him. She found herself wondering if something ever happened to her… would he care? Would he be sad? She shouldn’t be thinking like this, but she was having a hard time understanding why he was acting this way. “So…” She stopped. She wasn’t sure what to talk about now. She felt awkward.

Damon shifted his weight and furrowed his brows as he looked at Hazel. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t too upset…about earlier.” He knew she was probably still upset with him. Hell, he’d be upset with him too. “I’m gonna go.” He said before leaving her room. He shut the door behind him and headed back to his bedroom.

“I’m alright,” she said. She was still feeling uncertain, struggling to understand his reaction to her wolf self and her comments about being a family. “Okay. See you soon.” She was a little disappointed he was leaving already. She hoped things would be different when she next saw him. She took out her diary, deciding to write her feelings, then she’d talk to Elena and Stefan soon.

*** Hazel written by hazel-wolf. Damon Salvatore written by takeawaymyhumanity.

[hazel-wolf]

Damon and Elena fight after Full Moon

Damon walked around the house with a smile on his face. Ever since he and Katherine got engaged it was almost like it was just stuck there on his face. He didn’t really mind though, he was happy and he didn’t care who saw it. He’d been stuck in his own thoughts lately though. Things had changed a lot over the past year and it made him a little weary that he was losing himself. Losing the part of him that made him feared and dangerous.

When he had come back to Mystic Falls he planned on destroying it, after he messed with his brother’s mind some and got his girl back. Things didn’t exactly pan out that way. There were a lot of factors that changed him too many for him to completely relive in his mind. For sure, Elena was a big factor. Elena Gilbert, Katherine’s doppelganger, Isobel’s daughter…the world was a very small place. Elena had become his best friend and he was glad for that. Even though their arguments often had them both saying things they didn’t mean, he was glad that she was his friend. Other than Katherine and Stefan, he really didn’t have anyone, so he held Elena pretty close to him.

After his talk with Katherine before the full moon, they had both decided to follow their instincts. He wouldn’t feed on humans, but damn it he was going to do things his way. He knew that Elena was more than likely mad at him about the incidents during the full moon, and a part of him didn’t care. She knew just as well as Katherine and Stefan his history with wolves. It wasn’t exactly the best, and he couldn’t deal with it.

He sat in the living room staring into the fireplace a glass of whiskey in his hands. He heard footsteps coming closer and he drew his attention away from the random spot in the wall he was staring at. He saw Elena, but he didn’t smile. He wasn’t sure it was exactly safe to be all bff like with her. “Hey.” He said blandly.

Elena walked into the boarding house living room after hearing Damon walk in there moments before. For that very reason, she didn’t walk in with a smile on her face, or even a neutral look, she walked in with what one could only describe as a scowl on her face.

Damon’s behaviour on the night of the full moon was still angering her. She understood that he was upset because a wolf killed Rose. She knew all about losing people and the confusing feelings that arose with it. She didn’t, however, condone the way Damon had just walked away from Hazel.

Hazel had filled her in on what had happened, and while they had been having their girl talk, she’d also said how Damon felt like as much of a parent to her as she and Stefan did. Damon had to have known that that’s what Hazel thought of him, she’d seen the text’s they’d exchanged. It was that thought that made her so angry. He knew what treating Hazel like that would do, and he did it anyway.

“Damon.” she said succinctly, sitting down in a chair near his. Despite how furious she was, he was her best friend and she owed it to him to hear him out.

Damon watched Elena as she sat down near him. He took a sip of his whiskey as he looked her over trying to read her. He could tell she was mad. It didn’t take him being her best friend to figure that out. He was sure everyone was mad at him at this point, but at least Elena seemed like she wanted to talk to him.

“Come here to yell at me?” He asked raising a brow to her. He knew that Elena had pretty much become Hazel’s mother figure and she was very protective of her. “I’m not exactly in the mood to be yelled at.” He said getting up to pour himself some more whiskey.

Elena rolled her eyes at Damon’s question. “I don’t really think you have any say on me not doing something because you’re in a ‘mood’.” Elena snapped, holding on to her comment of because being a werewolf is pretty bad ‘mood’ and that didn’t stop you from being a dick.

“But, no, I’m not going to yell at you.” Elena inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. “I’m giving you the opportunity to try and justify how you just walked out on Hazel.” She watched as he got himself another drink, and awaited his explanation, the remnants of her scowl still on her face.

Damon rolled his eyes at Elena’s comment refusing to comment. He kept his thoughts to himself. Don’t wanna get her majesty Queen Elena mad. He thought to himself. He watched her and grinned, knowing it would more than likely piss her off that he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of scowling back at her.

He poured his drink and took a long sip trying to think of the words. “Well let’s see.” He started as he looked at her. “I saw Hazel as a werewolf, a little girl being a werewolf. You know, the thing that killed Rose, and tortured Caroline and me.” He said it in a condescending tone. “I tried Elena, I really did, but I just can’t. I don’t have a problem with Hazel…I just can’t be around her when she’s a wolf.” He said before taking another sip of his drink. He was trying to get the memories out of his mind. He didn’t want to be there, the only comforting memory was the fights he’d had with the werewolf. Elijah coming in ripping out hearts, Damon and Stefan taking on the wolves…all these things were comforting to him.

Elena’s look of anger quickly morphed into one of disgust when Damon smiled. “Is this fucking funny to you?” she yelled, her earlier promise already broken.

“I don’t care about any of that other stuff, Damon. You said you saw Hazel. Didn’t you see she wasn’t going to hurt you?” Elena groaned, standing up in frustration. “Don’t act all condescending with me. You lost the right to do that when you went back to ‘Mr. I don’t care about anyone besides Katherine’. And don’t say that you care about human-Hazel, because leaving her the way you did crushed her, and now you’re looking at me smiling about it.”

Elena ended her rant with an exasperated sigh, and ran her hands through her hair. “You’re ‘I only hate her when she’s a wolf’ story is made up too.” she glared at Damon. “Have you even spoken to her since?”

“Actually Elena…it’s not funny.” Damon said in a calm voice. He finished off his drink and watched her anger grow. He listened to her and shook his head answering her question. He moved at vampire speed up to her inches away from her. “Don’t pretend like you know a thing about what’s going on with me.”

He tilted his head to the side slightly his eyes narrowing as well. “And where the hell do you get off telling me about how I’ve gone back? What about you Elena?” He shook his head at her, but didn’t move. “Ever since Hazel’s come into our lives you’ve been completely focused on her, so don’t think I’m the only one being selfish here.” He scoffed before speaking again, “but that’s typical Elena isn’t it? A selfish little princess who throws a tantrum every time things don’t go her way.” His words came out venomous and he didn’t break eye contact with her.

Elena took it as an almost worrying sign that when Damon came at her with vampire speed, and then invaded her space, she didn’t flinch. She was too used to him coming at her like that. She was sure that that wouldn’t fall under something that would make a normal friendship stronger, but for them it almost did.
“You’re calling me selfish?” Elena couldn’t help but laugh, her anger making her a little insane. “Pot calling the kettle black? If I remember correctly you almost stuck blood down my throat only a few weeks ago. Tell me that was only for my benefit.” Elena considered how effective her arguments were before she decided to bring up Katherine. When neither she nor Damon looked away from each other, she knew that she’d need to use some heavy artillery and she did.

“Do you remember, Damon, when Katherine turned and killed Caroline? When she made Jenna stab herself? When she made Tyler trigger the werewolf in him? I’d say letting her stick around in Mystic Falls is pretty selfish on your part, wouldn’t you?” she question, raising her eyebrows. Her words came off horribly bitchy, but she was beyond caring. Elena was always pretty touchy when people called her selfish. It just got to her. That mixed with her anger at Damon had her in a rage.

“Well when you’re being a bitch what do you expect?” Damon said raising his brows to her. “It was for your own benefit. You were ready to be a vampire, but when the opportunity was there, you choked.” He shook his head at her, her laughter made him even angrier, but he tried to keep himself contained.

Damon’s eyes widened when she mentioned Katherine. It was one thing for them to be fighting with each other and pointing out each other’s faults, but it was another for her to bring Katherine into it. Katherine had apologized for what she had done, and ever since she moved into the house she’d been on her best behavior. He could take Elena’s insults, but he wouldn’t be taking her attacking Katherine.

“Don’t bring her into this.” He said clenching his jaw. “You know damn well if Stefan did all of those things, you wouldn’t want him to leave would you?” He raised his brows to her again. “She hasn’t done anything since she moved in with us.” His breathing became heavy again as he looked at her. “I think wanting to become a vampire and watching all your loved ones die is pretty damn selfish.” He couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He wanted to cut through Elena’s tough stature. “You know you’ll watch Hazel die too…she’s not immortal.” He knew that one would get to her, and he didn’t care.

“I didn’t choke, Damon. I didn’t want your disgusting blood in my veins again.” she added bitterly, turning up her nose slightly. She was being honest. She didn’t want Damon’s blood to turn her. It would be Stefan, and only Stefan. As much as, at times, Damon was her best friend, drinking someone’s blood so that you could become a vampire seemed like something that was too personal to share with just anyone, and right now Damon was very, very low on the vampire’s blood to drink list.



“I wouldn’t want him to stay, either. I’d probably take Stefan and leave town, if he was hurting people that I cared about.” Elena said the words as invitation, as if daring Damon to take Katherine and get lost. She would enjoy that right now.



“Bloody hell Damon. I’m not the selfish one here. Stop trying to convince yourself I am and you aren’t. Have you forgotten that time when you killed my brother because I wouldn’t kiss you?” Elena looked at him, eyes full of hatred. Then she shook her head, and broke their eye contact. When she looked back at him she had an almost sorry look on their face.

“Once I’ve turned, I’m gonna have to leave here. Even if I don’t become one of you” she spat the word ‘you’, “I’m going to have to leave. It’ll be better for them without me here.” Elena had to, quite literally, bite her tongue to not say anything about his comment about Hazel. He knew that was not fair to bring up, so she didn’t dignify it by replying.

Elena looked Damon dead in the eyes and said seriously, in a neutral voice. “Maybe you and Katherine should move out sooner then you planned.”

Damon’s eyes narrowed at her comment of leaving if Stefan had done what Katherine did. He scoffed not believing her. What the hell would she know? He thought to himself. He doubted she would have reacted any different than he had. She loved Stefan like he loved Katherine, she wouldn’t just take him away.

He clenched his jaw tightly when she mentioned the kiss he regretted. He knew she was just bringing that up to get back at him. It didn’t make him any less mad though. He let her finish her little rant about being one of them and just smirked. “Good, the sooner you turn into an undead bitch, rather than the living one you are, the better it’ll be.” He turned away from her going towards his alcohol not wanting to be so close to her.

“As far as Katherine and I leaving, maybe we will leave earlier. I can’t stand being in this house with you!” He resisted to urge to tell her to go to hell. He was so mad at her. What were they even fighting about anymore? He wasn’t even sure. He just knew that they kept trading insults to each other, and neither of them were going to back down.

Elena returned Damon’s grin with a small shake of her head and a witty remark of her own. “Which do you think will come sooner, you leaving or me becoming a vampire? Because if it takes turning to get away from you, I’ll do it.”

Elena watched as Damon walked away from her. Typical Damon, going to get a drink. She couldn’t blame him, even she wanted a drink right about now. Calming her voice down she said bluntly, “Fine. Go.” She knew he wouldn’t leave, not yet at least, and if she was being honest, she didn’t want him to go. As much as she hated him at that moment, and as much as Katherine drove her up the wall, she didn’t want them to disappear. Not that there was a chance she was going to admit it. She just remained firmly where she was, waiting for Damon to give in, and she was prepared to wait a while.

“Depends, on how long I can stand looking at your face.” Damon retorted. He was honestly sick of fighting with her. He was now defaulting to silly middle school insults, and he was just sick of it. He poured his drink and sipped it slowly. He wanted to just down it right then and there, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Elena to know how much this fight was getting to him.

When she told him to go, he felt his heart sink slightly. Did she mean it? Or was she just trying to match his irritation and frustration? He couldn’t really tell. She wasn’t Katherine, and it was hard to read Elena when they were fighting. “Fine. Not like we’ll be missed here. You have your own little family now, no room for friends.” His words came out cruel, more cruel then he had intended. He stood there staring at her wondering what she would say next. “I maybe selfish Elena, but at least I’m loyal to my friends.”

Elena fought extremely hard to remain silent when Damon said he couldn’t stand to look at her face. If she wasn’t mad at him she would point out that the love of his life had the exact same face as hers, but she was mad at him, so her lips stayed sealed. Well, was she? she asked herself. Their fight had started when she had been anxious about Hazel, and had ended up with them overexaggerating everything that had happened since. Now that she thought about it, she really didn’t want to fight with Damon, nor did she want him to leave. She wanted him and Katherine to be calm and happy, however, and that wouldn’t happen with a wolf in the house.

If Elena had of had a drink in her mouth she probably would’ve choked when Damon said there was no room for friends. “There are 6 spare bedrooms in this house, Damon,” she sighed, all of her hopes of not being the first person to cave gone. “There’s plenty of room.” She wasn’t about to say that if she had her way everyone, family and friends, would live in a big perfect house together and be happy and get along. That was a silly dream she gave up on by the age of seven. There was a hidden meaning behind her words. Something deep about how by room in the house there was room in her ‘heart’, but she almost hoped Damon didn’t pick up on that. Just because she’d thrown in the towel on the fight didn’t mean that she wanted to be nice.

Damon raised a brow at Elena’s comment. Was this her way of attempting to apologize? He took a long sip of his drink before he answered her. He needed to think of what to say. He was sick of arguing, but if she egged him on, Damon would argue with her until he was blue. He set his glass down, his eyes locked on her face. He sighed and set his glass down. He wanted to walk over to her, closing the distance between them to help make the tension die down, but he couldn’t. That would mean that he was back to being the nice comforting best friend Damon.

“Elena, you make it so hard to be your friend sometimes.” He finally said. “I don’t even know what we’re arguing about anymore.” He admitted. He was just stating facts, nothing in his tone said that he wasn’t still upset with her, he was. But he hoped that she would understand that he was just tired of it.

Elena’s softened look turned into a glare again. “You aren’t the easiest person to be friends with either. Generally trying to force your blood down someones throat and killing their brother ruins a friendship.” She realized, however true they were, her words were a little too harsh. “But I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Elena leant her head against the wall behind her, letting out a big sigh. “I don’t know either. I do know that you’re not making it easy to not argue though.” Damon’s tone hadn’t softened, so she wasn’t going to turn around and be completely nice to him. Not yet, at least.

“Yeah…I know Elena.” I’m still here too. Damon wanted to say, but he didn’t. He had made a lot of mistakes recently. Probably too many that weren’t forgivable, but Elena still remained his best friend. He was confused about the whole thing, but he was thankful. Who else was going to help him when he screwed up with Katherine?

Damon couldn’t help but chuckle at her comment. “Trust me, I’m not the only one egging it on.” He took another sip of his drink. She seemed just as tired as he was with arguing. “Look Elena, things are just messed up right now. Not exactly 100% stable.” He admitted finally looking down at his drink. He hoped she wouldn’t start yelling at him again for that comment. He was being completely honest with her.

Elena didn’t say anything about her egging their fight on. She knew that she hadn’t been helping their fight by throwing out insult out after insult at Damon. She did say something about the second comment. “What do you mean, not 100% stable?” Her eyes narrowed slightly. Just because they were on to the ‘sort of-forgiveness’ stage of their argument, it didn’t mean Elena wasn’t still suspicious of Damon’s words.

Damon sighed at her question, taking another sip of his drink. He should have just not said anything, but he felt like Elena needed to know what was going on with him. He shrugged. “Just going through a lot mentally. Being a vampire sucks.” He said chuckling trying to lighten the mood. “Something to look forward to. Instincts vs everyone else.”

Elena thought over Damon’s words carefully. She knew all about a vampires fight with instincts. She was in love with the worlds most instinct-fighting vampire around. “But if you’re fighting your instincts alongside someone else who’s fighting them, wouldn’t it be easier?” She was as much referring to her future with Stefan as she was Damon’s ‘current’ with Katherine. Elena couldn’t keep up with Katherine and whether she was or wasn’t fighting her vampire instincts at any point in time.

Damon nodded to her. “Yeah, Katherine makes things a lot easier…but it’s still difficult.” He wasn’t sure if Elena was completely understanding him. He was sort of referring to Hazel in this instance. She wanted him to be a part of her ‘new family’ and he was sure that Elena and Stefan were wanting the same. He sighed again. “I’m a natural killer Elena, and to stop myself from feeding off humans is very difficult. You think Stefan has it bad?” He said lightly. For Damon feeding off humans was on the top of his priority list. He’d been settling for blood bags, but sometimes he often craved living flowing blood.

Elena’s eyes softened when Damon said Katherine had been helping. There was something in his voice that made her feel bad. She could hear beneath the bravado he showed and could tell when he wasn’t having the best time. She also heard that tone in his voice when he continued talking about being a natural killer. Finally closing the distance between them, Elena reached for his arm and held it softly. “But you do stop yourself.”

Damon was surprised when Elena came over to him and held his arm. He gave her a light smile. “Yeah…” he said blandly. He felt like not killing had made him soft, but he knew that it made things safer for everyone else. “Doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. And some of the people in this place make it so easy.” He joked. He was talking about the desperate housewives of Mystic Falls. If they had thrown themselves at him in front of Katherine, he was sure she would have killed them all. He sighed once again, his brows furrowing. “I just wish this was all over so we could all just move on.”

Elena let go of Damon’s arm and sat down on the couch behind her, finally calm enough to relax. “You mean the throngs of women that are flock to you?” she asked in a joking tone, trying to soften the mood again. Her attempts were useless though. “I wish it was over too. I just want Klaus to be dead.” Immediately she started to let herself do that thing where she thought of the future. It was a nasty habit she was falling into. “Am I going to see much of you when it’s all over?” she asked, looking up at Damon with little expression on her face. She wasn’t ready after their fight to let him know just exactly what she was feeling.

Damon couldn’t help but laugh at her joke. “Yeah them.” He nodded in agreement over her Klaus comment. He wanted nothing more than for Klaus to be gone so Katherine didn’t have to look over her shoulder every five seconds to see if he was close. He hated how Klaus got to Katherine, he hated Klaus for everything he had done and continued to do to everyone. He tilted his head slightly at her question.

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I’m sure we’ll run into each other, but I don’t know if it’ll be like this.” It hurt him to say it, but it was true. He planned on spending a few decades with Katherine, traveling the world enjoying eternity together. He imagined that eventually they’d cross paths again, but he wasn’t too sure. It wasn’t like he planned for the four of them to be traveling together.

Elena listened to Damon, sadness on her features. She knew it was fair enough though. They probably would get sick of eachother soon. It was just a sad thing to think about. “Judging on the frequency of our arguments these days, not living with eachother might be a good idea. It just sounds weird. ‘Sorry, Damon, see you in 5 years’” she laughed slightly at how the words sound. *** Damon Salvatore written by takeawaymyhumanity. Elena Gilbert written by judgeylittleeyes. Starter by takeawaymyhumanity. Because they deleted their account, the reply to the starter can be found here.