#it makes me happy that u look forward to my art it means a lot to me <3

[erroryeswifi]

Its me again lol Can we see some spicy SmallLarry art? jkjk Only if your comfortable ofc! I Love your art! They always make me so happy especially after a long and exhausting day at work!

*Dies of dehydration*

[poppy-metal]

been thinking a lot about groveling for patrick after artashi kick him out after ur shutdown in bed

you start to realize you want him around... but you have to find a way to tell him that

and part of it is the very reason u were hurt in the first place. bc u like seeing the way patrick makes art and tashi happy. u just... need to trust that you make them happy too.

thinking a big realization comes when something big happens in ur personal life - good or bad - and you realize that more than anything, you want patrick.

tashi would be too clinical. art would be too soft. patrick wouldn't try to make anything better. he'd just let you... feel.

you start seeing where he's missing. the spot he should be occupying. and u decide that u have to get patrick. and u have to do it on ur own.

bc it was ur silence that shoved him out. it has to be ur voice that brings him back.

so u go to him. u consider bringing flowers - feels emasculating. consider buying new lingerie - feels like ur expecting too much. u find urself outside his door, a crumpled paper in ur hands, way too disheveled for what should be a formal affair, knocking on his door.

"ah. did tashi send u?"

an awkward silence. "no. i ... came on my own. can i... can we talk?"

I love love love this concept I love the thought of being forced to come forward with your feelings especially to someone like patrick who's so honest - feels shameful like you're a little kid apologizing after doing something wrong and you can't stop looking at your feet but he makes you look at him and oh. he's so beautiful. something in his chaos makes him so lovely. wild dark curls. flushed tan face with a smattering of freckles. his sometimes blue sometimes green eyes. they're green now. you recognize they get that way when he's serious - angry or sad or amped up or contemplative. you think he might be all of them combined. to him, you're nothing but the little brat who got him kicked out because your say is apparently more important than his.

he allows you in, thinks about throwing you out and slamming the door in your face but he's just not that kind of guy. plus you look so miserable it's kind of funny. he wants to hear what you have to say. cracks open a beer and doesn't offer you one, and leans against his kitchen counter as you settle into his worn fraying couch. he thinks you look too pristine to be in his bumass apartment but something about it, he likes. you could use a little dirtying up.

"art and tashi want you to come back. so, um. you should. I know things got complicated and intense and things were said that were mean, um. but they really miss you - I know if you just came back you could work things out and - "

"what do you want?" he cuts the bullshit. points at you with his beer bottle. he won't let you pussyfoot around. he's not in the mood, honestly, for games. the week has been miserable enough.

you look down at your hands. "it doesn't matter what I want. I was selfish before, and I'm sorry. I won't be going forward."

he looks at you. he'd laugh if he wasn't in such a shit mood. he licks his teeth and sucks in a breath. drains the rest of his beer and approaches you on the couch. it nearly swallows you - and he comes close enough until his knees are brushing the arm. leans down until your eyes are level, on of his hands resting behind your head for balance.

his breath fans across your face. beer and cigarettes and something minty. it shouldn't smell appeasing, but your mouth fills with spit, and you swallow. he's so in your space - always invading boundaries.

"so you're okay with me fucking them whenever and however I want."

you look away. "if that's what you want."

he huffs a laugh that isn't humorous. it's mean. he decides to bully you a little - you deserve it, anyway. "what if I want you to watch."

your lips purse then. displeasure. something curls in patricks chest. amusement and satisfaction. he likes pushing you more than he should. he knows you'd hate it, watching. feeling left out is what got you into this mess.

"I don't have to be involved." you tell him lightly. demure. soft. he wants to pull your bottom lip between his teeth and bite until he tastes blood on his tongue.

"I want you to be." he tells you. "you're a spoiled fucking brat and you pissed me off and if you really want me back then I want you to sit in your little time out corner while I fuck your mommy and daddy and I watch how fucking good I make them feel without you there."

your bottom lip wobbles. he expects you to tap put, call it quits, say no way. but you just nod.

"if that's what'll bring you back. I- I can take it." even if you don't want to. you know it isn't just about you. even if you like being the center of attention. "I said I was sorry. I mean it. I-"

I want you back too, you think but don't say.

you don't know how to bring that up to him when you've been nothing but a lousy brat.

"you what?" patrick prods anyway. curious.

you shake your head. "just come back. I'll do whatever you want if you will."

patrick straightens and looks down at you with a kind of predatory glaze in his eyes. his lips quirk. you're such a little bunny. hopping around in front of him when he's hungry. he wants to fuck you. badly. he wants to assert his dominance over you.

he wants you to want him.

and when you watch him fuck tashi and art - you do. you find yourself jealous - not of him taking them away from you - but of them for getting to feel him. you find yourself thinking you'd be the best out of all of them at taking his dick - you know it. and when you touch your pussy to the sight of him pounding tashi into the mattress it's because you want it to be you instead. and when you cum later with arts tongue on your clit - and patrick watching you from his place next to tashi, it's because his eyes are on you that you shudder apart so cataclysmically.

you've managed to fix things. everyone is content, you think. but you aren't. how. how do you admit to wanting patrick when you've put this wall between you. when you've made the distinction that you're dating art and tashi separate from eachother. that patrick has his own place that he sleeps and tashi bought you an apartment - so that things are more equal and fair and everyone is happy.

how do you admit to wanting patrick when you've kept the ruse up this long. when you alternate days. you spend the weekends with art and tashi and he spends monday through wednesday. you've dug a hole. how do you tell tashi and art who have already made so many compromises for you to feel happy and loved- that you want even more. that you want patrick too. that you take back everything you said at the beginning and want all four of you to be together, in one place.

they'll all hate you for being so fucking dramatic. maybe you should end things. let them be together without the complication of you there.

[sassyhobbits]

Every day I think about you. Sometimes I miss the days when we had such a big tog family here. I know that life happens and it is to be expected, but I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. Your fics got me through so much. They were always a light I looked forward to. They brought me so much happiness. (And still do.) I hope you know that. Truly, I have never known such beautiful, talented, and kind people as the creators during the height of our little fandom here.

Do you still get comments on your writing? Hits on your fics? I hope so. I hope your wonderful gifts to this fandom remain for people in the future and bring them the same joy your writing and art brings me.

Love, someone who is sincerely grateful for you. <3

this is such a kind ask it truly made my day!!! i miss writing a lot and i def know what you mean about the height of the fandom on here!!! since starting my post grad life i havent had as much time to write especially since my art has taken off a bit more and i do make money off of that so its been prioritized lately!

but yes, i do still occasionally get comments on my work and each one makes me smile!

im still here, even if me being here looks a hit different nowadays!

thank u again so much for your kind words🥺

[ineffabildaddy]

6, 8, and 21 for the soft asks <3

omg hiii hehehe

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

oh god okay, physical: my tattoos are sick, my beard's coming along nicely, and ermmm i'm stacked in the back lmfao

non-physical: i try to be a friendly person, i'm very organised and clean at work which i'm proud of, anddd i'd like to think i know a good amount about music

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good

this bit's gna be long so i'll put it under the cut dlfjlkdg

@raining-stars-somewhere-else he's an inactive king atm but he's my bestie and i love him<3 so so hilarious and observant and talented and kind. he's my dude and he means a lot to me go away

@sad-chaos-goblin i feel like i can be totally insane around you and you'll get on my wavelength immediately, it's amazing dlkkkljgfjkld. also i feel really lucky to be friends with someone so well-rounded and driven and fun, not to mention compassionate<3 i'm really really lucky to have met you and i hope we get to do irl adventures in the nearish future!!! until then we're great friends from afar!!!

@omens-for-ophelia we're just perfectly matched for our headcanons and kinks and shit and i absolutely love it. u get me, i get u, we get each other on this front and on many others!!! ur an extremely nurturing person too. i also love having u around bc ur full of fun facts and passion and energy, and of course ur art is absolutely incredible, i'm scratching at the walls just thinking about it dklkjldfgjkl. can't wait to create more absolutely feral works of crowley and aziraphale [redacted] in various ways hahahhkshjdf. and also hopefully have some london hangouts soon<3

@queer-reader-07 of course i've gotta mention ya because you're one of my fave blogs! i feel so warm and welcome reading all your posts and tags because you're a very lovely individual, and you've also got so many valuable things to say and i really look forward to seeing your takes on everything<3 also as i said before ur a very funny person and i enjoy that heh. i always get so excited when u pop up in my notifs i'm like little old me????

@foolishlovers bestie your writing makes me so happy but chatting and things makes me even happier<3 you're a really enthusiastic friend to have and you've got so many wonderful qualities that i just wanna share the love as much as possible hehe. i'm very glad we're doing shhh it's a secret together and that we've become close in general uwu

@crowleyslvt ur a little lad who's always got something hilarious and insightful to say about literally anything i come to u with, whether it's fkn silly memes or an existential crisis lol. you have such a unique way of looking at the world and i really enjoy it. also having a giggle with u is always top tier and on top of that ur a very supportive king<3 and of course u writing's delish at all times in any context

@voluptatiscausa i can literally tell you my most redacted thoughts and you'll be like yeah this is just another day at the office dkffjddgl. you're a silly and goofy guy (gn) who's simultaneously very easy to open up to which is always a comfort<3 the fact that we both like mitchell and webb makes us collectively Not Like Other Girls and we need to capitalise on that more tbh. also i greatly enjoy ur writing ofc

@bowtiepastabitch you're jokes. also we're very different and yet somehow the same brand of fucked up which i love<3 the lore could not be more disparate but the vibes could not be more immaculate. pls continue to be my friend smh

some more legends i love @crowleyholmes @fearandhatred @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @celestialcrowley @sabotage-on-mercury @quoththemaiden @ineffable-rohese @crawley-fell

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

probably this - one day you're going to start sticking up for yourself, i promise<3

[kinaesthetiqueer]

FNDM Creator Bio

Name: kina, they/them, not beating the cat kid allegations since the aughts, allegedly old enough to know better- whatever that means, none gender left lesbian, more identities that start with 'a' than you can shake a stick at, cringe AND free, tyvm

AO3: ➡kinaesthetique ⬅

i mainly write but i like to draw too! my art can be found at #kina draws. i vary between goofy doodles to serious fic scenes to silly memes.

Favorite Characters i can talk about for at least an hour straight: Nora (number one best girl in my heart!!!), Fox, Blake, Ruby, Weiss, Yang, Neo, Winter, Ren, Pyrrha, Coco, Penny, Qrow

Favorite ships: Nordic Winter, Valkos, Renora, Nordic Winter Victory, Nuts n Dolts, Thunderchrome, Bees Schnees, Monochrome, Freezerburn, Whiterose, Renorarc, Arkos, Bumbleby, JNPR Berries (the colors or lack thereof mean nothing i was just having fun with the editor and i ran out of colors)

Favorite tropes: supernatural additions to canon, [playing very carefully within the bounds of the Sandbox And Its Implications], canon divergences, [expands on something canon didn't have time for], [interprets one-off line way too seriously], found family, [damn we should probably go to therapy. anyway. the horrors.], strangers to friends to lovers, sloooooooooow burn, mutual pining, "we don't have Time for Romance but it doesn't stop the Yearning"

Self recommendation: i think On the Run from Tomorrow is a great introduction to my writing, though it can be a little rough on your tissue box! (i also like to rec it because i like people to be unwell about it with me.) if you're more into high stakes supernatural fluff, then her pulse in my throat is definitely where it's at! all my writing is pretty good though, if it's your cup of tea! it's certainly is mine. <3

Creator’s note: my biggest upfront boundaries are that i don't accept requests, suggestions, or unsolicited critiques or creative direction. i reserve that kind of input for my close friends or when i [very rarely] ask for it. being rude is a very quick way to my block list! i'm here for a good time, i'm enjoying myself immensely & i will defend that.

i'm happy to chat via tumblr dms and make new friends! askbox is open always too. i love answering questions no matter how mundane or silly. i'm pretty laid back and silly as a person, but sometimes i get overwhelmed by too many comments or messages at once. i'll get back to you eventually. ;u;

i had a lot of fun writing for the @remnants-of-rwby-events inaugural fic exchange! definitely proved i can be unwell about any characters given enough time to cook up something suitable! it also reminded me that the rwby brainrot (affectionate) is terminal and i am utterly incapable of writing one-shots. rip in pieces.

looking forward to future events! :3

[retrobr]

Happy Birthday Nia!! tbh I can't believe you are 18 now, I've only known you for the past 7 months but honestly it feels a lot longer and I'm so glad I get to share this milestone with you. You have made a bigger impact on my life over this past half a year than I think you realise, you truly brought a light into my life that I can't imagine living without now and I look forward to those evening and late night talks with you because I know that no matter what kind of day I've had you will be able to make me smile (even from half way across the globe), I could tell you that I love you and you mean so much to me a thousand times over and it still wouldn't cover it. So since I can't tell you all that a thousand times over, I guess the best I could do is these silly sketches that I've made for you on this special day, I hope u do something nice for yourself and have the most amazing birthday - I can't wait to share many more of these with you. I seriously love you a lot, dude. /p

Guess who is crying like a dork right now? Pepsi goodness gracious idk how to express my gratitude, but buddy you have no idea how happy this made me... nobody has ever drawn A PORTRAIT OF ME OMG 

AND SPORK WITH ROBBLOX TOGETHER IN UR ART STYLE!!! IT SLAPS SO HARD

But seriously buddy thank you for being my friend all this time, you can't even imagine how much you mean to me because you're one of my best friends; I really look forward to celebrating your coming of age too, because it will mean that our friendship will last for such a long time :) 

[neonjawbone]

Shy about saying things publicly bc. U know. Shy. But as one of your patrons I appreciate the update post, and I rlly do hope that you and ur partner get a break this holiday season. Not feeling like you’re doing enough is hard, but considering how much joy/inspo for my own art I get from your stuff I’ve been more than happy to keep my sub even when output is lower. Plus the discord is real cozy nd I’d love to do more with the folks in there too (even just talking more. The shy thing.. rlly gets me.)

Anyway I know it probably kinda sucks to have to lay out all the hardship you went through for folks on the internet, so I guess I’m sending this to say I hope things get better soon, and I’m looking forward to the new year and the new stuff <3

this means a lot to me, thank you!! the fact that my patrons seem to share this sentiment is really gratifying, because it does remind me the person holding myself to output standards and then becoming very upset with me when I don't live up to those standards is most often myself. It's difficult when everything around you is only asking for more content, more art, more of yourself. A big component in refilling my own personal cup is just going to have to be... cutting back on obligations I can't hope to meet right now. And it makes me feel really nice to see messages like this or to see my patrons accept that.

Also theres no worries about being shy! I get it! most of the servers *I'm* even in I just lurk haha. But i do feel like the discord has picked up in the last couple of months! cozy is a good word for it~

Anyway, thank you, i appreciate it~

[hxllo-nana]

So I just wanted to ask and say some things.

First of all:

Ur Ink u did for Inktober was really pretty. Look forward to any more Inktober pictures u can do. Only if u can though.

2nd of all: That Halloween Special AU art of Paps and Sans was so cute! Small baby-ish (demon; I think) Paps and teethwear (demon; I think) and/or braces Sans are so cute. I like their aesthetic too.

3rd of all: I was wondering how u been doing on any of ur projects

(like, Dead Ringer, which, I am very excited for the next episode of, and to see some of Sans, Paps, and Frisk's story of Dead Ringer. Will hopefully say something about Ep3 like I have done about the other previous episodes in some form. Or also like Bonnytale; which I read ur update(s) about on it's blog. And I am also very excited about. Or Inkuabtor. Ok, I probably spelled that wrong. Which, I am curious about. And the TikToks of it have been fun. I do hope u share it's story besides TikTok though. I will use TikTok sometimes. Like to see stuff and/or creators' stuff I like; like you. But I do admit; I don't use TikTok that much).

I know u have been jumping around them (and/or maybe even others), and/or probably are just busy and stuff. And I can wait for stuff. I know things can take awhile, and people have lives.

I am just curious.

4th of all: It looks like Hazbin Hotel is coming out in January, and if u are still doing Underhell, that means u will be getting more for that AU/series soon. Which is super cool. I love that AU, and the art and character stuff and stuff have done with it so far.

Also, since Hazbin Hotel is premiering soon, Cartoon Universe did a cool video called: "EVERYTHING You Need To Know Before Hazbin Hotel's Premiere!" , that has some cool info about Hazbin Hotel; that could be useful for ur AU/Underhell

Will say more about Underhell in another Ask, I feel like I have too much to say about it to have it in this ask, and I feel like it's better as it's own other Ask. Plus, this Ask is getting there in length. I don't know when I will send in that other Ask for Underhell though. Also, should I send that Underhell Ask on the Underhell Blog, or this blog?

Last of All: I hope u are doing well! And happy early Halloween!!

Thank you for the ask <3 ur presence means a lot to me! now then *cracks knuckles* let’s get into this

1. I have been doing some inktober works however I’m currently in a headspace where im overally critical with my work so i haven’t been posting them (here’s one i did but i redid it i will post the new one later today)

2. i love my little vamp au even tho i have not build on it and aren’t planning to its still fun to me and im glad u enjoyed it ^-^

3.deadringer process is still slow as i’m focused on college but i have been getting a lot of progress done in which i honestly didn’t think i would, turns out hang drawing/animating as a stress reliever helps me grandly lmao. Also i’m proud of the improvements from the first episode to this one.

As for inkubator I do plan on posting it on Tumblr. So it will only be available on Tumblr and Tiktok! I might have to make another blog for it ooo

4. I have been doing redesigns and story updates on underhell but i haven’t been able to work on it as much as im hyperfixiated on my purple babies (deadringer) and inkubator :’D I will take a look at that though!

5. Any blog is fine! ^-^ im sorry for the slow updates on underhell i promise ill get there 😭

happy early halloween! and thank you for the ask! your care really means a lot to me and i’m glad someone is so interested in my works <3

[eurydicees]

happy iwa day!!! here r some of my favorite fics about him <3

this is by NO MEANS comprehensive. there are so many good iwaizumi-centric fics out there. but anyways. here are 6 of my all-time favorites, in no particular order:

open doors and plastic stars by ikeru (iwaoi, 22708 words)

Loving Oikawa has never been exclusive to Iwaizumi—not when Oikawa is a magnet, an incandescent star that pulls and pulls until you can’t help but watch him, love him. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but his heart breaks all the same.

a crack treated seriously variation of a hanahaki au!! its funny and angsty and heartbreaking and the final release of the ending is SO rewarding. highly recommend.

close to the sun by HamsterQinghua (iwaoi, 15508 words)

Iwaizumi doesn't know any Spanish and Oikawa suffers.

loooove the iwaizumi not knowing spanish trope. it's so good. oikawa calls him "amor" and iwaizumi Does Not Understand. i love him.

i was tired and you were standing in the best light by keishn (iwaoi, 7148 words)

It's the time of year that the sun starts setting when they get out of practice. Looking at Oikawa with the pink-orange light reflected in his eyes and shining off his hair is not something Hajime thinks he can survive.

i read this one whenever i want my heart to burn. it makes me craaaazy. i love the way iwaizumi is written here so much. his character is so vivid and i can FEEL the emotion. so good.

bad days and stomach pains by kittykawas (gen, 3705 words)

Iwaizumi isn’t one for dramatics, generally. He tends to be straight forward and pragmatic and he doesn’t like to catastrophize - not when Oikawa is right there catastrophizing enough for a small country - but sometimes, life gets the better of him. He has bad days. And today is a terrible, horrible, fucking bullshit day.

trans iwa! trans iwa! trans iwa! trans iwa! trans iwa!!!!!!!!!!

lips like sugar by ohhotlamb (iwaoi, 8064 words)

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

looooooove this one. another fic i read when i want my heart to burn particularly bad. a practice kissing fic because yeah. you can always use more of those in ur life.

silver fork by ratboyrussell (gen, 2774 words)

Teammates, friends, family: those who help out when needed.

it's so sweet. friendship. agh. seijoh. yeah. friendship. man. i'm emotional.

ok thats 6 thats enough for now but feel free to hmu if u want any other recs!!! i love him so much and also read so much fic. i am HAPPY to suggest anything more specific, esp bc a lot of these are pretty popular and u may have already read them!

[albatmobile]

The Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds Chapter 5

𓅪 After not hearing from Roy or Jason for five years, you suddenly find yourself taking in extra income as a babysitter for Roy and Jason's child.

𓅪 Rated: M | TW: attempted assault  | 9k  includes: Damian helping u apply sunscreen before the angst, dinner w babs and Steph where they give u the inside info on past batboy feelings for u, Red Hood saves u from thugs, u wear Roy’s clothes

fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist]

Chapter Five: Lost in Translation | ao3 - wattpad

Damian ends up whisking you and Jon away on a yachting adventure, insisting you need to get out more. At first, you're offended, that is until you realize holding your tongue means going out of state on a yacht. Suddenly all previous offense dissipates.

Damian reminds you for the second time that, even though it's out of state, it's only a fifteen-minute drive. Whatever. It just sounds fancier. 

You’re only holding your tongue just this one time though, so Damian better not get used to it.

This is how you end up in Happy Harbor in the middle of the week, lounging on the top deck in the hot tub with Damian. Jon disappeared somewhere inside to get you guys drinks and check out the food, but he comes back soon after.

“Do you need sunblock?” you ask Damian, noticing his shoulders turning pink under the direct glare of the sun's 80-degree rays. He's about to open his mouth, probably to tell you to fuck off, but you know he'll thank you later. “You need sunblock. Come here.”

“No,” he spits out your name, dodging whichever way you move in the water all while avoiding your sunscreen-covered palms. “I don’t even burn,” he insists quickly when you get particularly close.

“Everyone burns, dumbass,” you say as you leap forward to tackle him into submission, though you know he’s partially let you. With Damian subdued, you waste no time in spreading the cream across his burning, tanned shoulders. 

He eventually relaxes into your touch, even going as far as hopping up onto the ledge to give you better access to the rest of his upper body. Though, this new position now means you're eye level with his crotch. He doesn’t bother with fussing; he just stays still enough for you to rub it along the ripples of his muscular chest and back, making you wish you’d never offered. 

This ended up being a lot more than you bargained for.

It’s only as you reach the waistband of his trunks that he places a dark hand over yours. “This is where I draw the line.” He smirks and swiftly hops out of the hot tub to avoid you trying, keyword trying, to put sunscreen on his face. “I think you’ll need it more than I do.” 

You look down to see that you do indeed appear rosier than usual, though you’re not entirely sure it’s just from the sun. 

“Okay, so put some on me then.” You shrug nonchalantly. At least, you hope it looked nonchalant… You aren’t trying to let him know just how riled up you were after, essentially, feeling him up.

“Ew, gross,” Damian says, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “I don’t want to catch anything you’ve got.”

Your jaw drops. “But I just did it for you!”

“That’s because you wanted to,” he looks way too proud of himself. Way too proud. 

From where you stand, you can tell he’s definitely flexing his abs right now on purpose.

You roll your eyes at his arrogant display and push the bottle of sunscreen into his hands. You hop out of the tub and make your way over to the lounge chairs together, but he just pushes it right back at you.

“Just put this shit on my back, dude,” you huff in annoyance. “You may not care about burning out here, but I do.”

Instead of helping (because when has Damian ever been considered helpful?), he mocks you in a high-pitched voice, "Dude.”

Seriously?

Okay, well, two can play this game, Wayne.

“Aw, cute! That’s exactly how you sounded when I first met you,” you imitate freshman Damian saying your name but highly exaggerate the pitch just to piss him off.

“Did not.”

It worked.

“Did, too.” 

He aggressively snatches the bottle from your hand. “You know, for someone who doesn’t want to burn, it sure sounds like you want to burn.” He dangles the sunscreen like he’s going to drop it on top of your head, but you don’t give him the reaction he wants, so he eventually huffs and pops open the cap. 

You grin, dangling your victory obnoxiously in his face as you roll over onto your stomach to give him better access to your back. There's really no reason to, considering the string bikini you're wearing grants him any access he'll need, seeing as it doesn’t cover a whole lot of you in the first place.

“Damn, you’re so aggressive with it,” you whine as he digs in. Yes, digs into your skin to apply the cream. He seems to think that the sunscreen needs to be applied with a certain psi to be effective with the way his hands continue to push into your skin. “Please never become a masseuse,” you joke, but he significantly lightens his touch as he makes his way down to your lower back. You quietly exhale in relief. 

“I hire masseuses. Why would I become one?” His voice sounds slightly restrained.

“To give me free massages?” you state the obvious with a smirk thrown over your shoulder at him, not that he's looking at your face, though you note a twinge of amusement. 

“Seems like that's already a benefit of yours.” His fingertips lightly trail down to where your back meets the top string of your bottoms and stops abruptly. “I’m not touching your ass. Nice try, though.”

You laugh, grabbing the bottle from his hands to lather it on your backside while he watches. “Still looking at it, though,” you jest with a wink thrown his way, reveling in how he bristles as he walks over to claim the lounge chair across from your own. 

“Hard not to when it’s that fat.” He curls his face into disgust as he puts on his sunglasses. “Might even be bigger than Nightwing’s.” 

“Enough with the compliments, Damian. You’re making me blush,” you tease him, kicking your legs up behind you like a girl writing in her diary. “Makin’ a girl feel all special ’n shit.” You flip over with a whine, “Also, you've never talked comics with me before. What’s up with that?”

“They’re for lame losers like you. Besides, I’ve never picked one up, but I do watch the news.” He reaches over and clicks a button on the side table. Almost immediately, two stewardesses bring out towels along with some sort of infused water for Damian and quickly leave without a word. You make a weird face. “What?” 

“You didn’t tell me it was chartered.”

“What do I look like? Someone with an unchartered yacht. Please.” He rolls his eyes from the lounge chair across from yours and tilts his Bottega Veneta sunglasses further up on his face. “Why do you keep looking constipated like that?”

“Nothing. Sometimes I forget you’re super fucking rich.” 

Not even in your wildest imagination could you have pictured yourself on a yacht with people to cater to your every frivolous whim. If anything, the most you’d hoped for was a full fridge and a normal family, but Damian’s wild experiences will suffice for now.

It just seems too unrealistic for someone like you to be able to enjoy crazy indulgences like this, especially when these same experiences don’t seem to affect Damian in the slightest.

“I don’t think I ever ended up hearing about how your meeting with Roy and Jason went,” Jon says, walking towards you and Damian with a tray of fresh drinks from the inside bar. Jon and you both felt very weird about the whole service thing, so you understand why he’d just want to serve himself. “Damian mentioned that you seemed a bit nervous.” 

You laugh. That's a complete understatement. 

“It went alright. Kid’s cute.” Damian tch’s at that. “What? She is! And Roy, well, he’s missing a hand since the last time I saw him, so there’s that.” 

You wonder if Damian will correct you- wonder if he'll tell you that the prosthetic was also further up his arm, but he doesn’t. Instead, you're left to wonder just how much of his arm is actually gone.

“I told you he’s changed,” Damian says. With or without his verbal boasting, his face reads: ‘I told you so' clear as day. 

“Yeah, no fucking kidding. I still don’t understand why you couldn’t’ve given me a heads up buuut,” you sit up straighter to visually demonstrate to them how his prosthetic hand looked, “it was all black and like, had this like shooty-thing right here.” You point to the top of your hand. “Or, well, it kinda looked like it, but I doubt that. Right?” Jon nods as if he has any idea what you're talking about. You appreciate his enthusiasm, nonetheless. “But he seemed pretty much the same other than that. Still hot as ever, though, obviously.” You waggle your eyebrows at Jon, mainly because Damian seems content ignoring the two of you ever since the topic had been broached. 

“Whatever,” Damian gripes as he petulantly sips his drink. It isn’t until Jon asks to see a picture that Damian sighs in annoyance. “Don’t let her pull into her smut, Jon. I’m more attractive than both of them combined, easily. Right?” he imitates your tone from earlier. 

You and Jon giggle at the jealousy in his tone as you show him pictures of Jason, Roy and you from high school. 

“You’ve always been really pretty.” He points at you in a picture taken while the three of you had been arguing at in the manor library. “But, yeah, I’d be hot and bothered too,” he says, pretending to fan himself at the sight of Roy and Jason. “Jeesh!”

“Shut up!” Damian slams his drink down on the side table next to him, removing his sunglasses with sharp malice. “Enough about those two dimwits already.” 

It’s silent after that. 

The waves lapping up the sides of the ship and the seagull's chatter serve as reminders of the resulting awkwardness now in place of the lively conversations that had previously masked them.

“It’s not that serious-” You attempt to give him an out and get the jovial atmosphere back, but it seems he doesn’t care. “Damian, are you being for real?” His face leaves no room for debate. “Okay, fine. We’ll stop,” you say to calm him down before he can really go off, but it seems it’s already too late. 

From the slight twitch of his eye and the telltale sign of his neck vein popping out, you have a very upset Damian Wayne on your hands. Well, you turn to Jon in alarm, the two of you have a very upset Damian Wayne on your hands.

You think he’ll remain quiet, content to glare at you for the rest of however long his hissy-fit lasts, but no. The combination of the hot sun coupled with too many drinks leaves Damian’s usual short temper even shorter.

“We get it,” Damian sits up, menacingly facing you from across the short distance of the deck as if you hadn’t even spoken, “you’re a desperate wannabe who clings to unavailable people. Truly pathetic and completely high school, if you ask me.”

You don’t even know what to say.

Where was all of this coming from?

Jon seems to, for lack of better words, be in the same boat.

“Woah, Damian,” Jon searches Damian’s purposefully blank face as defends you from the uncalled-for outburst, “she’s your friend. Why are you acting like this?”

You’re still stupefied by his abrupt hostility. You try to retrace your steps, seeing where the conversation had gone awry, but you come up blank. All you’d talked about was Roy and Jason for not even a second… Wait. 

Was he really telling you to shut up over talking about them?

You think back to high school when he never seemed too upset when you talked about them, aside from a few eye-rolls and such. Now, though? Now, it’s like a completely taboo topic for Damian.

“She used to be my best friend.” His words come out cold and uninterested, as if he’s completely over the conversation and you.

“Used to?” you finally ask in a soft voice barely audible above the overlapping waves against the boat. 

You’d done nothing but be at his side endlessly. You thought you understood him when no one else had, just as he’d done for you. So, why was he saying this?

Ever since Jason and Roy came back into the picture, it was like you could see flashes of the old Damian. The one who was always fighting for your attention over his brothers. It had always been comical to you, considering Damian had always had your undivided attention whether he realized it or not. 

“Like you haven’t noticed.” Damian motions to Jon, who doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself, but, then again, neither do you. You’ve never been on the wrong side of Damian’s ire like you are right now. 

“Damian, what did I do?” You can’t help the genuine hurt and confusion that drips from your every word, pleading with him to stop. “I’ve only been talking to them for a few days, so how could you already be replacing me?”

“Maybe I knew they’d be coming back and prepared myself,” he responds cryptically. If you weren’t already so upset, you'd probably roll your eyes at the blatant lie. 

You look at Jon, but he still seems just as baffled. “He’s been like this ever since the day after we painted.” 

It doesn’t take long to connect that what you thought was going on, was going on. 

The day after the penthouse party is when you’d gone over to dump about your Jason and Roy problems. Now, today he’s blowing up after you showed Jon an old picture. 

It's clear as day to everyone but Damian, it seems.

Why he's jealous of your complicated relationship with them, you have no idea.

“You’re so jealous, Damian. It’s really cute.” You attempt to cover up your hurt with nonchalance, giving him another chance to calm down.

He doesn’t take it. 

“Jealous? Me? Please,” Damian scoffs and tilts his head in just a way that causes his sunglasses to reflect a ray of the sun directly into your eye. This leaves you to dodge out of its way by lying back down. “Let’s not forget that you’re on my yacht,” he curses your last name. “Would you like a one-way ticket off of it?” 

“Would I be able to stay dry?” you ask tonelessly as you adjust your navy bikini top. You really hope whatever steam Damian’s letting off is almost out because you're running out of patience. 

It doesn’t help you're all quite literally trapped in the middle of the ocean on a boat together, either.

“What do you think?” he snarls.

“Whatever, man,” you snort. If he gets a free pass at being a dick, so do you. “Jon,” he looks like he’d rather not be dragged back into one of your tiffs, “how do you put up with him?” You place a delicate hand over your bikini-clad chest. “How did I ever put up with him?”

He glares at you as if daring you to make him explain exactly why he even confronted you in the first place: you were a loser. Though you remind yourself, to be fair, Damian was somewhat of a social outcast himself, so he's one to talk. 

“Maybe those rumors they used to spread about you were true,” he falsely muses to get a rise out of you. 

It works. 

It’s simple but effective. 

No one knows how to push your buttons quite like Damian does and today is a prime example of this. You shoot up from your seat with fury burning in your eyes, coming to an abrupt halt at the end of his chair, wrought with rage. 

“You know they weren’t."  

How dare he insinuate he wasn’t your first, well… everything. 

You continue to stand over him, waiting for him to say anything, but he sits in silence with a small smile you so badly want to knock off his face. 

Finally, he yawns and you anxiously await whatever dumb shit he’s about to spew. “Who really knows?” 

"I've never even so much as had a boyfriend, Dami,” you respond through gritted teeth, reveling in how his face finally falls.

You definitely caught him off guard, but you’re not entirely sure.

He covers it up as soon as you take notice, stirring the pot to cover up the brief break in his rock-solid façade. "Then you really are a whore."

It’s as if you blackout because the next thing you know, you’re holding an empty glass. 

You come to just in time to see Damian, in a now soaked swimsuit, lunging at you with a devilish glint in his dark eyes. Meanwhile, Jon desperately smooshes himself in between the two of you as best he can in an attempt to separate you both, but to no avail. 

“DAMIAN, GET OFF OF HER!” he shouts, drawing the attention of the deck crew, who move in to help Jon intervene. 

You don’t bother touching him; it’d be too dumb of a move. He’d obviously know any moves you’d use, seeing as he was the one who’d taught you the self-defense moves you know, albeit foggily. Supposedly, he taught you everything he knows, but with his ever-present ninja-like reflexes, you’re pretty sure he’s held some moves back from you.

You don’t want to give him a reason to hurt you any further in a way he can’t come back from, so you turn your head to the side, exposing your neck to signal to him you're done dealing with his shit. Well, your shit because you’d technically started it.

Ugh. 

He recognizes your white flag easily and swiftly gets up before anyone else can intervene, wiping meticulously at his swim trunks. “I think it’d be best if you left,” he says your first name coldly, but you don’t stick around to hear much else. 

If Jon could, you think the glare he’s currently sending Damian would disintegrate him on impact. He mutters to himself, sounding disappointed as he helps you gather up your things and onto the tender. Damian's long gone, having retired to one of the inside cabins soon after the ordeal ended. 

“I don’t know what came over him,” he confides to you, holding your hand steady as you step down into the tiny boat that's set to take you back to shore.

“Pretty sure it was a Mai Tai.” He gives you an admonishing glance in response that makes you wince. “Yeah... Not my best moment.” It's as close as you’ll get to an apology after all the provoking Damian had done. 

“You both need some time apart, I think.” He looks extremely uncomfortable in the position he’s found himself in as mediator.

This whole situation’s fucking pathetic.

“Like a fucking break up or something. Come on, Jon. You see how ridiculous he’s being!” You throw your arms up dramatically, causing the poor deckhand near the wheel to duck out of the way.

“I know. You’ll just have to let him figure it out.” 

You sigh.

You’ve never fought with Damian like this over all the years and it's definitely left you shaken. 

You look down at the floor of the tender. “Tell him I’m sorry about the drink, I guess.” 

Jon nods, smiling lightly as he addresses you, “I was going to tell him that anyway.” He pats you on the back as he retreats from the loading deck. “Take care of yourself,” he says your name gently as he makes his way back to the main decks, undoubtedly to look for your sulking friend.

You’re chartered back to land. As soon as your feet hit the dock, you make a desperate call.

•••

“Thanks again for picking me up on such short notice,” you say as you shimmy into the passenger seat, smiling at Stephanie behind the wheel. 

She shoots you a grin with thinly veiled worried leaking from it. “Of course! Sorry, I had to bring company.” She winks at the redhead in the back through the rearview mirror. 

“Never apologize for bringing Babs.” You look back to Barbara in the back seat with a tiny smile.

It's been a while since you’ve seen her anyway, so it's as good a chance as any to catch up with the redhead. You’re, admittedly, still getting used to seeing her with a wheelchair in tow.

“Yeah, Steph!” Barbara punches the back of Stephanie's seat playfully. 

“Sorry, sorry!” she giggles. 

“What were you guys up to?”

“Running errands.” They simultaneously glance over your attire and think back to your pissed-off, slightly frantic voicemail you’d left Stephanie half an hour earlier. Surely there has to be some reason for the call and your lack of clothes. “What were you up to?”

“Damian had a yacht thing.”

They glance at each other in the rearview again, sensing something's gone down.

“Sounds fancy,” Babs says.

“Mmm.” 

Another shared look.

“Want to grab something to eat?” Babs changes the subject easily.

“But I’m practically naked,” you complain, gesturing down to your skimpy bikini and crocheted cover-up.

“Oh, trust me, babe. We both noticed.” Stephanie obnoxiously wiggles her eyebrows at your exposed body. “God, you make me wish I was gay sometimes.”

Barbara snorts, “What’s stopping you?”

“That handsome GPD officer I was telling you about,” she sighs dreamily. “I keep running into him and… I don’t know, I just get this feeling about him.”

“What’s his name?” you ask, quirking a brow when Barbara giggles.

“She doesn’t know.”

“Oh, come on, Steph.” You now join in on Babs' giggles. “Does he at least know yours?”

She snorts, “They always do.” The three of you cackle until Stephanie pulls up to an old Mexican restaurant. It's right on the outskirts of Gotham and super close to Jason and Roy’s apartment. “I’m craving Mexican and I’m driving so… Ta da!” She gives you both jazz hands as soon as the car is in park.

“Works for me, but that still doesn’t solve this.” You gesture downward where your tits are barely concealed by the tiny triangles. Your ass isn't much better off.

“I have a pair of stretchy shorts in the back that should fit!” She gets out to grab it while you get out to set up Barbara’s wheelchair. You help lift her into it and nearly drop her when you feel the tie on the left side of your bikini bottom come undone. 

“Damn, Barbara,” she moves to re-tie it for you with a laugh, “if you wanted me naked, all you had to do was ask.” 

She smacks at your hip to signal she’s done trying. “Time and date.” 

You throw your head back and lose it.

“Careful Damian doesn’t hear us." Stephanie comes back around the car to where you and Babs are and hands you the black fabric. "He’s a real possessive one.”

Your smile wanes. “Yeah, figured that out today.”

“Just today?” They both look at you in disbelief.

“What?!”

You put on the shorts Stephanie gave you and tie the crochet cover-up into a wonky tube top over your bikini before heading in with your friends in tow.

Once inside, you order and they immediately begin to dish on your friend.

“So, you’re telling us that you really didn’t know Damian liked you?” They still carry the same incredulous looks they’d worn in the parking lot. “He’s like the weirdest little demon child to ever be spawned and you actually got along with him for literal years. It’d take a fucking miracle for that to happen if he hadn’t somewhat liked you.”

You think back to the night of the Joker incident and how he’d comforted you in a way no one had before. Your stomach knots at the intimate memory of a man whom you don’t even recognize after today. 

“Now you’re gonna tell me you didn’t know Tim liked you,” Barbara jokes lightly before clearing her throat awkwardly. 

She’d been much older than you and Steph, so she hadn’t become as close with either of you as she is now until around senior year. This also means, however, that everything before senior year she’s not as familiar with, hence her not knowing the turmoil you and Stephanie went through when you’d first met. Was it true that all of that initial friction had been inadvertently caused by Tim? 

You can see the hesitancy in Stephanie’s smile, but she eventually nods in agreement, “When Tim and I were dating, I was soo jealous of you.” 

No way.

“I was 15!” you exclaim in shock. 

Tim liked you?!

Of course, you’d looked at Tim that way. He was hot and didn’t think your obsession with heroes was cringy. Regardless, you’d always just assumed he saw you as his younger brother’s nerdy friend. Nothing more. Part of you still doubts he'd ever even looked at you that way, regardless of what Steph and Babs said. 

As for Damian? Well, you knew Damian had liked you at some point with all the, uh, things you’d done, but he definitely didn’t now… right? 

Stephanie shrugs. “You’re hot as fuck and you’ve always had big tits and a fat ass. How could I not be?” 

“I’m starting to think maybe you liked me too,” you tease her, causing her to laugh easily.

“Oh, I for sure did. I just couldn’t recognize it over all the envy,” she shoots you a smirk.

Your food’s just arrived when Barbara looks down at the ringing phone in her hand. She shoots Stephanie with a look she easily reads and quickly gets up in response. “I’m glad we got to catch up, but there’s been a bit of an emergency. Do you have a ride?”

“Sorry to bail like this, but we really have to hurry,” Barbara says, setting down cash and wheeling to the exit. However, Stephanie lingers to hear your answer to her question. 

“Of course,” you lie easily. They’d driven all the way to the state over to save you from Damian’s ire at a moment’s notice. Who are you to stop them? “Can I at least keep the shorts?” 

“All yours, babe!” She gives you a thumbs up and races to meet Barbara by the entrance. “Don’t even bother washing them before you return ‘em!”

You snort at her frat-like humor as they wave a final time and load back into the car. 

You would’ve been heading to Jason and Roy’s in an hour anyway, but you shouldn't be showing up like this. You stare down at your barely covered chest, to your ass that's hanging out of Stephanie’s workout shorts and know it's a dumb idea to walk through the rough side of town like this. You inwardly groan, realizing it’s not like you have a choice in the matter with the way Damian had dropped you. You aren’t upset with Stephanie and Barbara needing to leave like they had when they’d just dropped everything to pick you up, but you can’t help but feel an overall feeling of sinking abandonment. 

You sigh and have the waiter bring you boxes so, at the very least, you won’t have to worry about food for you and Lian. You pump yourself up as you begin your trek along the three blocks it takes to get to Jason and Roy’s place, but not before at least two cars pull over to ask how much you cost. 

You don’t bother to slow down for either car. You try to maintain a steady pace, but the further away from the restaurant and the busy street it lay on, the more uneasiness you feel.

When the Wayne boys had trained you all those years ago, they always reminded you to keep your eyes and ears open in moments like these. They said there's probably a logical reason for you to get an uneasy gut feeling, but nothing seems particularly out of the ordinary. You wave off your worry and continue across the street. 

Two more blocks.

You’re startled in the middle of the crosswalk by the loud, crackling sound of a motorcycle revving somewhere off in the near distance, but quickly pull it together like you hadn’t. You finish crossing the street, hoping you haven't drawn the wrong attention. You know you shouldn’t be jumping at dumb shit like that, especially when the only people you've seen on the streets have all been large groups of men. You think back to the last woman you’d passed, which had been an old lady right outside the corner bodega next to the restaurant two blocks back.

You take a deep breath and hold the food further in front of your cleavage to retain some semblance of modesty, but who are you kidding? It's bad. You look like you've drunkenly dressed yourself for a shift at the strip club and the fewer people that notice, the better.

You can see the corner building to Jason and Roy’s block and break into a light jog. You think you’re home free when you’re suddenly dragged into a dark alley. 

You make to scream, but a grimy, clammy hand hastens itself over your mouth. You don’t give them a chance to get any further as your training kicks in. You drop down out of the hold. The man gasps in confusion, but you don’t give him any more time to react before you pop back up, turning to kick him directly in the balls with a satisfying smush. 

“This one's a fighter, guys.” You’re panting slightly as you watch two more figures approaching from the corners of your vision. Regardless of how scared you are right now, you can't help but smirk at his deduction. "No way, freak's fuckin' into it." 

His fear is all the encouragement you need to give the doubled-over man a psychotic grin he can’t even see from his hurt position. His friends, however, can and make small noises of unease. 

“Oh," your eyes go wild, "you have no idea.” 

You set down the to-go bag gently and shake out your wrists just as the second goon begins a barrage of slow punches. You easily dodge them and parry them with quick, ferocious bursts of fists. 

“Agh!” he exclaims as you drive a hearty punch into his fleshy stomach, sending him backward into the metal casing of a dumpster that lies further down the ally. 

He’s still groaning on the ground, propped up by the dumpster when the two other men gather their wits and team up to attack you simultaneously from both sides. 

You try to remain calm as you prepare yourself for their inevitable attack. 

You wait until they get right on you before lifting off the ground into a split kick that nails both men in the face. The momentum sends each man crashing into the brick ally wall on their respective sides. 

The dude on the ground shuffles to get to his feet, quivering, nearly tripping over his buddies to get away from you in his haste. 

“That’s right! Tell your creepy fucking friends,” you yell after his retreating form. You wait until he's out of sight before spinning into a proud little jump. “Oof!” Upon landing, you run into something extremely hard and extremely smelly. 

You stumble backward, sneezing at the offending scent. When you look up, you startle, quickly distancing yourself from the man in the motorcycle helmet, who smells vaguely of gunpowder.

You squint your eyes up at him, almost immediately recognizing his getup from the news. 

His name isn’t coming to you now, but you know what the costume stands for: Joker. You sure as fuck aren’t sticking around to find out if this guy is affiliated with that creep or not. 

“I think everything’s all good over here,” you hesitantly tell the man who’s yet to talk but is also currently blocking your only way out. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

You startle at his robotic voice and subconsciously take a step back toward the unconscious thugs. “I’m just going home,” you answer in a higher-pitched voice than usual, much to your chagrin.

Lowly goons you can deal with, but dual-wielding gunned, Joker-themed psychopaths? 

Yeah, not so much. 

You put up your hands in a lax surrender, slowly inching toward the bag of food that sits at the base of his ginormous combat boots. On second thought, cooking wouldn’t be too bad, right? You abort your mission, deciding big boy over here can have your stupid Mexican food if it means you don’t have to fight him.

“I won’t hurt you,” comes his robotic reply. 

Regardless of his words, you still feel like a deer in headlights. Your heart stops completely when he reaches near your frozen body to grab the bag. With your breath caught in your throat, you look up. His red helmet comes within centimeters of your face as he offers the bag of food in the direction of your cowering form. 

You stand instantly, finally feeling like you can finally think again once you stand over his still crouching body. You watch as his monstrously thick thighs stretch the fabric of his cargo pants sinfully when he stands, once again gaining ground on you with his incredible height.

“Cool. Thanks,” you say with a forced smile as you attempt to get around his thick, built body. “I’ll be going now, then.” You give a tiny salute but startle, leaving the action suspended mid-air at the sound of one of the men you’d kicked coming to.

It’s also at this moment that the pounding sound of footsteps becomes clearer. In fact, the thunderous noise seems to be rounding the corner when you finally pick up on it.

“There she is! This way.” 

You anxiously look up at the red helmet of the man standing next to you, hoping you can trust him. 

“Follow me.”

It’s all he says and, with your food in tow, you don’t hesitate to do exactly as he says. You trudge along behind his swift pace with your sandals slapping against the slush and muck of Gotham as he leads you deeper into the dark alley systems.

You follow him around an adjacent ally, only to be roughly pushed up against the dirty brick wall.

“Hey!” You push off the wall and against his hard chest, but he easily pushes you back against the bricks. You squirm against his hold, attempting to protest as he covers your entire body with his and searches for whatever sound he’d apparently heard. “Listen, I don’t think it’s that deep,” he shushes you, but you roll your eyes and continue in a slightly lowered voice. “I mean, muggings in Gotham are basically a given. How is this any different?”

He turns his head back to you. “You want me to leave you like this, or what?” he threatens in his robotic voice as he eyes your revealing outfit up and down in the little space that remains between your bodies. “What are you supposed to be anyway? A hooker?”

You think back to the others who’d thought the same and wrinkle your nose in disgust.

“Hey, fuck you, man.” This time, he backs away when you push him off you. “You wish I was.” You pull down Stephanie’s shorts to regain some semblance of modesty, but it’s in vain.

With your head slightly turned to see if the shorts were covering, well, anything you see shadows floating across where you’d just come from. You immediately feel your heartbeat start to tremble. Just what the fuck is going on? Were these dudes really that ass-hurt about getting taken down by a girl?

The helmeted man sees the shadows at the same time you do and wastes no time in taking action.

It’s his turn to snort as he picks a different direction to walk in with a pace you can’t quite meet while walking, so you begin to jog next to him.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He does slow his pace a bit, though, much to your aching leg's delight and your ego's chagrin. 

You ignore him and continue your best to keep up as you follow behind him. You’re definitely feeling more comfortable around the man after what seemed like genuine concern. “And I think I’d be okay, anyway. I mean, did you see the other guys? Yeah, plural. I totally had them.” 

You walk ahead of him when you finally catch sight of the populated streets that you’d been nabbed from and hasten your pace. 

“Yeah, but add ten more? You’re lucky I even saw you,” he's chastising you, you realize with an incredulous shake of your head. “I almost sped by you on my patrol route until I saw it was you- er an issue... happening.” 

You know he’s right, but you try to play it off. 

If you think about what could've happened for too long, you'll start to spiral back to your other close-call incidents. You shiver, quickly catching yourself, all while hoping he didn’t notice, but his unreadable helmet ultimately reveals nothing. 

Quick to switch the subject, you boop the middle of his red helmet where his nose would be and motion him to take the lead again. “Well, thanks for seeing me and everything, I guess.”

He nods at you, coming to a stop at a parked red motorcycle before boarding it. It reminds you somewhat of Jason’s old one, but this one looks a helluva lot faster. 

You make to get on, but he stops you, grabbing your finger. “No more booping. Get on.”

You hesitate with slight amusement at him saying the word ‘boop.' “Two questions,” he motions for you to hurry the fuck up, “do you have another helmet?” He nods and shuffles around under the seat before producing a black one for you. “Thanks. Okay, second question: are you good or bad?”

He scoffs at your juvenile question, “From your position what does it look like, ba-” 

You don't have time to question him cutting himself off because you suddenly hear the approaching sound of footsteps that've been steadily gaining on you and your unlikely savior. You waste no time in dropping into the remaining space on the seat behind the dude’s massive form and quickly put on the helmet he gave you. 

At least one of your questions had been answered. 

You shove on your helmet and quickly climb on behind his hulking form.

One of the first and last times, you remember bitterly, that you’d been on a motorcycle had been when you skipped school for the first time with Jason and Roy. You don't let the memory linger too long, quickly shaking the embarrassing thought from your head and promising yourself that you will not orgasm on this masked man. 

You blush at your thoughts, thankful he can’t see your flustered expression. “Well, your creepy voice doesn’t help any.”

“Listen, you got on my motorcycle. Might not be the best idea to piss off the driver.” The last part comes out somewhat rushed, like he's worried about something other than the thugs, but what exactly, you don’t understand. Nor do you fully trust yourself to be able to understand the stranger’s tone when it's all coming out robotic anyway. “I did save you, didn’t I?”

He speeds off, easily getting lost in the evening Gotham traffic. After a few turns, you begin to relax, breathing in the cool night air that whizzes by at the insane speed he's zipping around at. 

When you exhale, you feel the weight of the situation release with it, not realizing how much tension you've actually been holding in.

“Save is a big word.”

He just turns his head briefly at you before speeding up, leaving you to tighten your grip around his hard abdomen. 

Do not orgasm, do not orgasm. 

“Whatever you want to call it, but you are on my bike, so how bad could I be?” The bike screeches to a halt suddenly, leaving you to slam uncomfortably into his back as he doubles back in the direction you’d just come from with a grating screech that reverberates throughout the streets. 

You’re absolutely fucking terrified. 

The lack of space between your bodies after his stunt isn't helping your other predicament either. 

“Well,” you begin one of your nerd ramblings to get your mind off of the current situation, “you appear to be the vigilante Red Hood. When he first appeared in comics, Red Hood was the original alias of the man that would later become Joker, but your helmet’s all wrong.” You bravely unwrap one of your arms from around Red Hood’s waist to tap against his helmet. He sharply turns halfway as if to say, “wtf? I’m driving, bro,” but you continue anyway. “Joker’s helmet was originally made from two-way stained red glass, while this is more of a motorcycle fetish look.”

“Glad my outfit finally has a proper label, then,” his robotic voice tones, sarcasm somehow evident, as he makes a sharp turn, seemingly to get back at you. You cling onto him for dear life and peek open one eye over his shoulder to make sure you're still alive before burying your face into his back. 

This is exactly where you stay for the remainder of his little joy ride.

Once he’s back to driving somewhat normally, you start up where you left off, peeling your cheek from the leather of his jacket to peer up at the side of his helmet.  “So, basically, I’m just confused if you’re similar to who you based your outfit off of or not. AKA good or bad?” you repeat your original question to him. 

From what you can remember from things you’ve seen online, it seems like not even the news can pin down this dude’s motive, but then again, you can’t completely remember. 

“My world isn’t so black and white,” you ask what he means, but he doesn’t answer again, instead focusing on slowing down to look around where he’s driven to. “Just tell me where I’m dropping you off, sweetheart.”

You squint your eyes at him, still not completely trusting his motives. “For sure.” 

You’d basically been at their doorstep when you’d been attacked, so now, after his little speeding stunt, you're well on the other side of town. You start pointing in the direction of Jason and Roy’s apartment. Once you get to the general area, you tell him you’re there even though it's actually two blocks early and hop off.

“Thanks again for ‘saving me.’” You use air quotes as you walk up to the random apartment building. “Bye now.” You give a little wave, expecting him to drive off and are perturbed when he just sits there and watches.

The blank look on his helmet does nothing to ease you further. 

Even as you arrive at the keycard access door to an apartment that's not your own and won’t allow access to the keycard you have, he continues to sit there. Waiting. 

Who says chivalry is dead?

A quick glance down shows a seemingly amused(?) Red Hood, though you can't be too sure through the emotionless helmet. You wave to him again and turn around to face the door, pretending to fiddle around your beach bag, but he remains glued to the spot, looking at you with arms crossed. 

What kind of babysitter would you be to bring this potentially dangerous man to the doorstep of their apartment? 

At the same time, you reason, it would be somewhat worse to lead him back to your actual apartment where you lived alone. At least with Roy and Jason’s place, you’ll have two bulky dudes to back you up. 

You sigh and turn around to get back on the bike.

“You ready to tell me where you actually live, babe?”

You narrow your eyes at the familiar nickname, recognizing it to be what he’d cut himself off from saying earlier. Eventually, you get back on the bike albeit hesitantly and gesture further down the street. This time you only take him a block away before you just start walking, hoping he'll just leave. Even as you prepare your backup plan, you know it's complete shit. 

“One more down,” you mutter and wrap your arms back around him as he huffs robotically through the helmet.

“So, you won’t tell me where you live even after all I’ve done? I’m just trying to get you home safe and sound and you, for one, are making it extremely difficult.”

Did he completely zone out your explanation of him wearing Joker’s first costume? Joker’s name alone is enough to send shivers down your spine. After your run-in with the killer, you wanted nothing to do with the psychopath. Considering Joker was this masked man’s whole persona, he doesn’t seem all that trustworthy to you. 

Besides, you hadn’t even needed saving, anyway. You’d taken those three thugs down with ease after what Damian and his family had taught you. 

“Try not to sound so hurt, random vigilante.” You guess that that would be the most accurate term for the man in front of you. His silence seems to indicate his acceptance, at the very least.

“It’s just Red Hood, by the way.” Nevermind, you’d guessed wrong. “Not random vigilante.”

“Cool, whatever,” you say, hopping off his bike for the second time.  

This time, as soon as you reach the door, you turn and shoo him with your hands. 

If he could roll his eyes, you know he would’ve, but he does oblige you in driving off, leaving you with a vast sense of relief. 

“Bye, Red Hood,” you yell after him, then tug your food bag closer to your chest. 

You continue further down a block, hoping he isn’t still following you on his motorcycle, but the lack of revving makes you think the coast is clear, so you scurry home. Well, not home, you correct yourself, blushing at your slip-up. You mean to Jason and Roy's apartment.

Duh... 

Once inside, you're met with Roy and Lian hunched over the stove, making some sort of pasta concoction. You, once again, remind Roy that if he doesn’t want his child poisoned, he needs to let you or Jason do the cooking. 

“The fuck is that?” you ask with a scrunched-up nose. 

Roy smiles wide and lopsided. “Something like a pasta carbonara. Right, Lian?”

The girl nods confidently beside him and continues to stir the haphazard goop around the pan.

“Guess I’ve got Spidey senses for your shi- oot cooking, or something because I grabbed this on my way over.” You set the cold bag of food down on the kitchen island before returning to Roy’s side to give both of them side hugs. “Also, don’t ask about the outfit unless you’re going to give me something to wear,” you warned Roy sternly, who already seemed to be doing his best not to stare at your oddly provocative outfit. 

“Deal,” he responds with a wink as he begins to unload the containers. So much time had passed since you’d left the restaurant that you’d actually forgotten what everyone had ended up ordering. “Wouldn’t wanna ruin the show.”

“Your child is right there, you perv.” Y=You look around the empty apartment. “Where’s Jason, anyway?”

“Seems like you weren’t expecting him.” He points down to the three containers he’d set up. “Or expecting to come over here, at the very least.” He doesn’t try to hide the way his eyes are traveling up the expanse of your body, "Maybe you were, though. That's hot."

“Ah, ah, ah!” You tsk at him. “Give me some clothes, Roy.”

“Ugh,” he groans, slumping off dramatically but returns moments later with one of his oversized slogan T-shirts and a pair of sweats. “Here, go change while I get her fed,” he goes over to where Lian’s attempting to put a fork into one of the styrofoam containers. “Lian, let me at least heat that up for you first!” 

With a chortle, you huddle into the bathroom (that's already regained a bit of its original messiness, by the way) in order to remove your damp suit. You forego Roy’s sweatpants and end up going commando in Stephanie’s shorts and braless in Roy’s ‘World’s Sluttiest Dad’ shirt.

Roy looks up from Lian as you approach and quickly uses his prosthetic hand to cover up his eyes at the sight of you. “Oh, man. Jason’s gonna kill me.” You raise a brow at him and grab the plate he held out for you with his other hand. “Absolutely, utterly kill me.”

“He’ll have to get in line after the night I’ve had,” you tell him about dinner with Barbara and Stephanie and how you figured you were close enough to walk, but then all the thugs. “And, Roy,” you look him dead in the eye, “I kicked ass, like serious ass.” 

“Hey!” Lian’s tiny voice reprimands you, leaving Roy to banish her over to the couch so you two can have a bit more privacy. 

“Sorry!” You shoot Roy another apologetic glance when he rejoins you across the kitchen island, but he’s still focused on your story. “But I totally knocked these three guys out and then this dude in a helmet- Red Hood,” you trail off at Roy’s sudden increase in interest. 

He leans in, “Red Hood, you say?”

“Mhm.” You nod. “He thought I was a hooker,” you laugh at the memory of what Red Hood had asked you.

Roy clasps his hands together. “Okay, so maybe Jason won’t kill me.” You tilt your head in confusion, not seeing the connection at all. “This is good. Anyway, continue,” Roy smiles brightly at you.

“So, remember when we skipped and took Jason’s motorcycle?”

Now, it’s Roy who’s confused. “You mean the time you came all over my arm? How could I forget,” he smirks at the exact same time your heart drops.

Oh, fuck no.

“ROY!” You short-circuit, ultimately forgetting how to function. “No, you did not know that this whole time.”

He grins slyly. “Oh, I didn’t?” he obnoxiously and extremely accurately imitates how you’d bucked back into his crotch and spasmed on Jason’s back with your head thrown back on Roy’s shoulder. “‘Oh, Jason, you’re so angsty and hot with your motorcycle and leather jacket,’” he manages to pitch his voice impressively high. “‘Take me now!’”

You bury your head in your hands with a pitiful whine, “Oh my god, I want to die. I really want to die.” You look up with begging eyes. “Please never ever mention this ever again. Like, EVER,” you beg desperately, looking into Roy’s mirthful green eyes. “I don’t think I can ever come back from this level of embarrassment, dude.”

“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure Jason’s forgotten about it by now.” The redhead laughs when you when you groan in response.

“Pretty sure?” you mumble pathetically. “A mercenary seems logical at this point, right?” You hide your face in your hands, wishing Roy would just leave for work already, but he's still picking at his plate.

“As long as it waits until we get back home from work, princess.” You quickly forget your shame at the sudden nickname. You still aren’t used to hearing him say your old nickname, but each time he does, you feel like a piece of you is complete. “Speechless? Yeah, I have that effect on the ladies.” You fake gag as he moves to stick his leftovers it in the fridge. “I gotta get heading out, though and you’re here early, so it works out perfectly. Jason’s gonna be mad he missed out on our date, though. That’s for sure.”

You deadpan, “Roy, I’m watching your child for money. It’s like the furthest thing from a date.” 

“For money, you say?” He wiggles his brows obnoxiously referencing your earlier (lack of) outfit. 

“Piss off. Don’t you have to put on your little business suit?” you attempt to tease his usual choice of stained clothes that always he leaves in, complete with those mysterious, heavy duffle bags, but he remains taking you in.

It’s as if he’s peering deep into your soul with just a simple smile and you're embarrassed how quickly he makes you shut down. He’s never looked at you like this before. No, in the past, he never looked at you like he actually saw you, but it seems like he does now. 

It can’t have been anything you’ve said, surely.

“I should probably get ready,” his voice trickles out deep and raspy, causing you to unwittingly gulp under the sudden shift. 

Before you can bask in his attention, he quickly releases you from whatever spell he’d held you under as he walks past you and into the hallway. In his wake, you’re met with a whiff of his rugged scent.

“Don’t forget your briefcase!” you call out to him in an even tone as he leaves the room to change, hoping it covers up just how much you’ve been thirsting over him. You go to the couch to finish eating with Lian, then take your dishes to the kitchen to wash them in the sink as Roy passes behind you in his typical work attire and matching bags. “Sooner or later, I’m going to start thinking you guys are serial killers or something with those heavy-ass bags you carry around,” you say as he unnecessarily passes behind you in the already tight space between the sink and the kitchen island. 

“You’d probably be right,” Roy maniacally cackles and settles into a typical villain pose. “MWAHAHA!”

Lian squeals and runs over to Roy to grab at his cargo pant leg. “No, it’s more like this, dad,” she then proceeds to release her own, much cuter, evil laugh. 

You can’t help but smile at the adorable yet slightly concerning sight in front of you. “Definitely serial killers,” you conclude, trying to ignore Roy’s heat from behind you.

“Be safe. Don’t do anything I would do!” Roy ruffles Lian’s hair and then yours. He walks over to the door and opens it, but Lian refuses to let him leave.

“Love you, dad!” 

“Love you too. Be good.” He smooches her on the head and winks at you one final time. “Live up to my shirt, princess.”

Your face drops instantly. “Way to kill the moment, Roy.”

“Why kill it when we could… alive it?” 

You snort, pushing him out the door, “Go before you lose the rest of your touch.”

“Ask, Jason- it never left, babe. I mean princess.”

You tilt your head slightly at the correction but continue to shoo him off. After all, why would he care about using Jason’s old nickname for you? 

One thing's for certain: you don’t understand anything concerning the two of them in the slightest.

A/N: is it getting hot in here??? hope u have a good day/ night!!

[next]  ||  masterlist ||  pinned || ways to support

[nattousan]

iirc u said you got a new job, what do you do for work now?

do you ever get anxious while working? fi so how do you cope/make the anxiety go away?

so because i have an art background and my sister recommended me, i'm a labtech at [CHAIN DENTURE MAKING STORE]! And, despite having no background in dentistry, they hired me because i have experience sculpting and making molds, as well as just having a generally amicable and teachable attitude. Its cool because a lot of the skills i developed making sculptures have translated very literally into my work making dentures! Which has allowed me a confidence that means that I actually don't experience any anxiety at work. It's like if you were a prolific smashbros player and nintendo suddenly asked you if you want to be a beta tester haha.

Also your timing is perfect anon bc while I don't personally have anxiety, my partner struggles heavily with it, to the point where they had to take medical leave from work. Idk if you already have a job or are looking but from observing them and my own experience, here's some general tips i can offer you:

- anxiety is a confidence killer, the endless fear and "what-ifs" can be paralyzing, seek out work that you know you can do good in, even if it's not your passion. I'll be honest i never thought about dentistry as a career but im using skills that i'm confident in and im allowing myself to ask questions when i don't know things bc thats what the trainers are there for.

- any sort of "i'm useless, i'm a burden, no one will hire me" self talk is literally your anxiety talking and is of the devil. don't listen to it. you gotta separate your anxious brain from your logical brain and assess uncritically what u bring to the table, are you good at organizing? can you work a spread sheet? do you find cleaning things soothing and satisfying? you gotta tailor your job search to your individual proclivities instead of applying to any random listing you see.

- if you already have a job thats giving you anxiety ask yourself two questions: what specifically about this job is giving me anxiety and can i do anything to avoid/correct it? maybe talk to a supervisor about your triggers and what youre feeling, if they're a good supervisor they'll try and work with you, if you get told to suck it up buttercup thats part of the job, welp, start looking for other places to work.

- PLEASE please PLEASE ask for help!!! at least in my partners case, they initially thought they had to go it alone and weather the job search process on their own but when i tell you there was a whole ass career center with COUNSELORS just waiting to help people find jobs, i'm not kidding! there are resources out there !! USE THEM!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HELPED!! check out your local community college or library to see if they have a career center! Mine does and it opened me up to several trade grants i didn't know about! THEY HAVE THE RESOURCES!! GO USE THEM!

- last and probably hardest for anxious people, you gotta find a way to stop giving a fuck about what people think of you! self confidence stems from within and when you're confident people can pick up on it and are more likely to trust you with things and hire you for things. Even if its a fake confidence! nothing has helped me more out in life is me just doing things because "eh, i got this, i'm sure it'll work out in the end" you gotta actively embrace failure as not a world ending event but a part of the process forward.

if you wanna send me another message about the specifics of your situation i'd be happy to tailor my advice but these are a few of the basics i guess. Like i said, I don't have anxiety but am very close to someone who does and hooboy i do not envy y'all. stay strong, soldier 🫡

[onlyswan]

ART!! did you miss me? i’m sorry it’s been so long! i finally got around to reading some of your more recent drabbles and gosh i really so love iw!couple so much, their love is unmatched 🥰

ugh i knew the rest of the tannies were leaving soon but seeing all 4 of them go at once was kind of a lot to process ): alas, ik the years will fly by before they come back 🥺 i miss them a lot and i wish nothing but the best for them, always. idk when it will fully hit me that they’re all gone, but i do know that i feel very emo and it’s only been like 2 days 😭 what even is time?

BUT i’m here to update u on my life! after being a recent graduate & (f)unemployed for like 6+ months, i’m FINALLY starting my new job on monday! i’ll be working in retail and it’s right before christmas/the end of the year so my anxious, introverted self will be slightly overwhelmed, but the bag will be sooo worth it. EEE but exciting nonetheless! and i’ve gotten some early christmas presents already. wow what a year it has been and i can’t believe it’s coming to an end so soon o:

i hope you’re well, art! i try to keep up with your page every now and then but life gets very hectic, as we all know. i’ll be on the lookout for your next drabble!

until then, please take care and happy holidays 🫂

- cats&soup anon

MY CATS&SOUP ANONIE! of course i missed you 🥹 but i’m so happy to hear that you’re doing well and you’re excited about starting a new job! i hope you will be surrounded by very good people and it doesn’t give you too much troubles hehe. i’m so proud of you !!! 🩵🫂

argh i know this year felt so long but also at the same time i’m weirded out that it’s already ending? 😭 but that only means seokjin is coming home soon so we already have something to look forward to in 2024 to relieve the pain of missing the others so much 🥺

hehe thank you for making the time to read them! :") i hope you love the new drabble too T_T and life has been so hectic for me too so i totally understand! nevertheless i hope you never forget to take care of yourself 🫂 mwahmwah

[nonclassyparty]

if you wrote a novel i would seriously read it. your story telling/planning is novel quality i mean it.

for my thoughts on the last chapter 💐💐:

it may suck but i don’t feel too bad that her and mingi didn’t work out considering that he still obviously has some growing to do emotionally. hopefully he can achieve that and if they end up crossing paths in the future, great. if not also great, or at least she finds someone who’s right for her considering she expressed desire to be in a relationship, or even if she stays with herself bc i’m a firm believer that you can be happy without a romantic relationship.

i like the way you wrote her and yeosangs sort of reconciliation, it’s a bit more realistic bc i wouldn’t be so quick to forgive someone who’s treated me like that either, but i like how they can be around each other without feeling the need to be overly friendly and also without feeling like they’re just tolerating each other (i think the word is cordial, idk). there’s balance.

i’m not someone who expresses her emotions regularly but when her and seonghwa spoke for the first time in a while almost made me get out the tissues. this is the softest we’ve seen him act the whole story and i like how you wrote in his lego building hobby i thought it was very endearing.

as for sans ending, i don’t really feel a way about it other than it ended as perfectly as it could. when she first called him initially i was just like “girl i know we over him but why keep calling him” but i realize it was her final go at getting closure and i feel like their ending made sense. what more would they talk about in the future if they continue meeting even as friends? we saw how that turned out the first time. and at least she got something out of it (which was seonghwa)

i just love how you tied the story together at the end. if it’s ok to ask (i mean you already made it clear in the last chapter) how do you think they all end up in the further future. like who gets married, does she pursue bigger things with her art, etc.

i hope you’re proud of yourself for this story, bc it’s honestly one of the best series i’ve read here and i can’t wait for your next one bc i know it’s also gonna be great as well <3

omg woahhhhhh thank you very much!!

i genuinely have nothing to add to these little points u guys are making but i really enjoy reading them altho i will say that the seonghwa parts were hard to write. him and san being friends was something i planned from the start but i simply didn't know how to insert hwa into this chapter or if i did their meeting and reconciliation justice, it's hard to describe sibling relationships 😭

as for the question about where they'll end up in the future;

well, the one year forward where y/n has the apartment finally already means two things, first- wooyoung and yeosang live together now and second- it was the apartment she talked to mingi about in act 6 when he asked "how does ur life look like if everything goes to plan?" or something and which he asked about in the last chapter meaning that the story ended with her finally in a place where she's content with her life and it can only go up from there. she will later on start working as an illustrator for animated movies (a lot of inspiration for her art to me came from spirited away lol) and that will be her main occupation while she will do some art for herself occasionally. and she will meet someone, i imagine him being a fan of her works so he will be head over heels for her and she will finally get romanced the life out of her lol but i don't see any kids for her, i don't think she'd want to be a mother.

mingi well...he'll fall in love with someone else, get married, have kids, move out of the city and join a smaller firm somewhere bc it makes him more content and it's less pressure. hongjoong is similar to y/n in a way that the both of them are single and in a place where they want to have fun in life, they obviously keep in touch as she goes to visit him in tokyo and he sends her postcards, he's sort of a free spirit...

seonghwa will marry his current girlfriend, continue working at his father's firm but their relationship will never be good, hwa and y/n will be very close tho!

and san...well, i kinda want to say i'm keeping his ending a secret bc i'd like to write a spin-off for him some time later but if that never happens, then his life will be what he imagined it - he'll be very rich but very lonely.

wooyoung and yeosang will get married. when y/n left woo to go to the hotel, he literally called yeosang crying and said "you have to marry me bc there is no breaking up here after going through all this shit"😭

[spaceyflowers]

not an artist myself, but i just gotta say i really agree with solki -- you give really detailed comments (in the tags hehe) about what you love about the art, what you found amazing, and all that.

it takes a great artist too to be able to pinpoint exactly what parts they love about an artwork. (i for one, don't have a great eye for that)

you're doing god's work by providing so much encouragement to everyone <33 (i'm not even an artist, but the stuff you comment also on the stuff i take time to make are so <3) (and seeing you do it for lookism artist makes me happy, such a warm & positive response makes way for more art for us!)

looking forward to seeing more of your art in the future so we can give appreciation to it too. love u. :-)

jann im speechless 😭😭😭😭 this is so sweet and ever part of this means so much to me + the fact that u took the time to type all of this out and send it T_T 💖💖💖

its such high praise thank u so much !!! 💓💕💞💕💘💓💘💖💕💖💕💕

love u too and i hope ur having a great day/night 💖

(not to be a cheesy ass bitch but a lot of what i do stems from my own experience; i know what its like to made fun of for expressing joy/talking a lot about something and that shit hurts so i never want anyone to experience that,,

thats why i love giving compliments and encouragement bc happy ppl make me happy and i think its cute when people get excited about what they love :] cringe culture is dead, be free!!! and always rmbr kindness makes the world go around!!!!!!)

[aerikaye]

maybe life transitions aren't bad at all

it's been 8 months already since we moved out from my grandma's house.

a lot has changed. like a LOT.

from having the chance to go out every night to buy whatever food i'm craving (convenience stores are just steps away), waking up super early to do my morning walk, buying french vanilla coffee whenever i feel the need to stay awake, having random kwentuhan with lola - these are just few things i'm really missing from the life i had back then at maragondon.

it was then november last year when things got extremely messy and the disrespect thrown towards me, mommy, and my partner was unbearable. as much as we love taking care of lola and the house, we had no choice but to go.

i lived there for a decade and (?) years so staying here emptied my heart for a while. december supposed to be my favorite month - beside the fact that it is my birth month, i get to spend my first christmas with micoh. photo of first time arranging my desk and my bf and mommy preparing bfast <3

here's how my birthday went last year. bf and i went to paskomiket to see talented artists and buy stuff to support them. it was my dream to finally attend an art con! also finally got to see ayala christmas lights! i've always wondered how it looked like when i was a kid :D

now my days are filled with so much love and peace. the smell of fried rice in the early morning, micoh cooking for me at every chance he gets, watching feel-good movies, doing groceries - well some days can feel mundane but honestly i'm grateful of where i am today. i can now finally take mommy on random mall dates and eat a nice lunch or dinner! i almost forgot - i took her to la union! my very first out of town trip. i'm so happy and i can't wait to travel the world with her and micoh. anyways here's a photo of my dog being excited over his lunch!

this life transition shaped me to be who i am today. back then i was a people pleaser with 0 boundaries (idk how to say "no" to people), i realized how bad it was to always adjust myself to other people. simply putting my feelings aside, being agreeable, and not being able to speak for myself drained the hell out of me.

this doesn't mean i'll stop being soft. i'm still soft and a cheerful giver but with healthy boundaries. i only wish nothing but a peaceful and comfortable life for me, micoh, mommy, ice, and my soon to be little one. i can't wait to meet him.

2023 is at its half and there's still so many things to look forward on. i enjoy this slow living environment. i'm grateful for everything i have right now and for what's coming my way in the future. i treasure my friends and supprt system who checks up on me and make time to talk. i am proud of who i am becoming. i feel blessed and at peace with myself.

that's all. talk to u in my next life transition! :)

love,

aeri

[toothlesshat]

I am also very interested in ur Rogue Leo AU (I am still reading that post; reading the Season 3 stuff right now, and I am liking so far.  Also, the Leo and Casey getting to know each other more, and/or Caseynardo vibes give me life, I love Caseynardo, so thank you and some others, for feeding me more of it), because God, did I think Leo deserve to snap and/or go rogue like that (or/& like you said, that it would have made sense for him to do so).  I have seen people say Leo is "too mean" to his brothers and/or people, and while I won't say he can't ever be mean, he can be, but honestly, if I were Leo, I would probably be even meaner and snap even more with everything he goes though.  That man has way more calm and patience than I do.

And I am also interested if you ever do that like, post-canon and/or series and/or post-Splinter death fics/stuff, that dive into Leo and Splinter's relationship and stuff and Leo dealing with that and stuff, because like you said, there is a lot to explore and unpack there, and I think it could be interesting (plus, maybe Leo can finally be given an actual break of some sort or something, geez).

Still getting through ur new Donnies fic; I am enjoying it so far.  U write the Donnies very well (they are both so different and so similar to the Leos, lol) from what I have read so far, and the conflict u gave them (which is very different from the Leos, but suiting to them, though, 2012 Donnie, like 2012 Leo, also does and/or did, want to go home to their own universe too, though, for his different reasons in comparison to Leo) is interesting so far too, and makes sense for them.  Will finish this fic when I get the chance, and I look forward to the 2nd part for it.

Anyways, last of all, a few more things (oh wow, this ask/these asks have gotten long): 

2012 leo and Rise Leo are also my favorites respectively; I love them (if I hadn't already made that clear, which I probably already have)!  Though, I love the other turtles too very much, and a lot of other characters too!  (like 2012 Casey, Rise April, Rise Cassandra, Rise Casey Junior, 2012 and Rise Karai, Big Mama, etc.!).  And I certainly love both of the Donnies, so I am happy about their fic (esp. since I am a sucker for character studies, which, ur Leos and Donnies fics have been kind of like so far), and I am excited for others as well.

Also, I don't usually see the 2012 Leo and Donnie being twins take! (I usually see it being 2012 Leo and Raph being the twins, which is a take I love, and I love both)  I do actually love their dynamic in 2012, and find it very interesting, but I don't usually see them being twins take; at least not in 2012 (*Cough cough* Rise twins, Disaster twins Leo and Donnie, my beloved(s)).  And I find that interesting.  I really liked that art/post u did of them, and how they used to be close, and then they drifted apart, which, is just sad (even more so with ur twins take of them), and I could really see that.  I always saw them as close too, but then the Surface happened, and everything went crazy for everyone.  If ever explored more about this and their relationship in a fic or something, that is also something I would be very interested in seeing (only if you want to ofc).

Alright, last of all!  And then I am finally done (for now), sorry.  And that is, I also, for the most part, basically write everything in once (like long one or two shots and/or etc.) and/or in chunks (usually quite long-ish stuff too), before I post.  It is just how I write.  The only multi-chapters I have, or the one-shot I am going to turn into a two-shot when I finally post it, and one of my first takes on a multi-chapter fic that I am still posting (which, even that one, I finished before I started posting it; I have only stopped posting more chapters for a bit, because I realized I needed to edit some more and iron a few really important details before I post anymore chapters.  Hence, the delay on me posting anymore).  So I kind of feel you; when it comes to ur style or writing and posting, because I am similar too in some ways!

Alright, I am finally done with these long things!  See ya for now.  ^_^ Ask 2/2.

Aldjskkfkfk okay wait I’m gonna break my response up into paragraphs under the cut because I have a lot I want to say 😭

I’m glad you like the rogue Leo au! It’s definitely my favorite right now just because of how passionate I am for Leo and how much I wish something drastic like that happened in the series! It would’ve been perfect! And Casey and Leo are just a dynamic I wish we got to see, I think they’re the only duo that didn’t get any real time dedicated to them? And that sucks I think they could be close (both as friends and otherwise, I’m good with both). I’m planning to do at least a fic for the rogue au and maybe post more art if I have the time! It’s really one of my favorites :)

I was planning to put a lot of Splinter and Leo’s relationship problems in the rogue au, but I also just want a canon compliant version too. I tried to add some of it in Of Leos and Leonardos because I think it’s a pretty big deal for Leonardo’s character, but I really want to just explore it for what it is one day. I like Splinter a lot, but his parenting can use some work and it really messed up Leonardo in the long run, and I want to break down how he feels about it all one day- daddy issues go brrr I guess?

The Donnies have been really fun to write, and I’ve had a good (admittedly difficult) time working through them, they’re both very complex! I really worry I’m not doing them justice but I’m trying my best. I look forward to getting to Mikey’s fic the most, but it’s the last one I’m planning on for story reasons :( the Raphs intimidate me but I’ll do my best! The series won’t be finished for a while though because I’m taking a long break after I finish the Donnies to work on the other stories I’ve been dying to write! I’ll definitely get back to them, but I’ve been waiting to finish so I could focus on the stories I want to do more.

2012 Donnie and Leo twins just make sense to me? I don’t know why, but I kind of love it because they’re so similar but they hit the angst sooo good?? Donnie and Leo fight a LOT in the series, more than I thought and idk there’s just something to it that I like because of those reasons. They don’t need to be twins to have that kind of relationship by any means, I just think it adds something to the story?

And yeah! I can’t do multi chapter to save my life unless it’s really small. It’s just too difficult and I lose interest fast. I find that I just gotta write how it works for me. Lately, I’ve been writing out dialogue before anything, then adding the description and details in later so I can get my ideas out before I lose interest and write faster! It’s been really helpful!

Thank you for the ask! I love having stuff to talk about and you scratched that itch like crazy lmao