#it makes me feel all warm fuzzy and feral inside

[aziraphalalala]

@distinctlackofnightingales I live for unhinged tagging and you just wrote a masterpiece! Have a cookie 🍪

Consider. Once WGA and SAG-AFTRA are out of strike, Neil resumes writing and we get less of him answering asks on tumblr.

This is good.

What we’ll also get is an UNLEASHED MICHAEL SHEEN.

This scares and excites me. Buckle up, kiddos!

[logansbaby]

Reckless Behavior - Logan Howlett

thinking very feral thoughts about worst!logan and that fucking suit…

18+ content below, immensely short (just a little under 1k words), fem!reader, this is self indulgent im just a slut

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THE FEELING of cool metal dances across the expanse of Logan’s back, the steel counter pressing deeper with each passing moment.

The itch of pain only serves to further intensify the lust coursing through his body as he fucks his cock deep inside your mouth.

He’s got one hand on your chin, thumb pulling at your plush lips, the skin stretched completely as you move your pretty face up and down. The other hand fists your hair in a tight makeshift ponytail, the tingles of pain swirling amongst the skin of your scalp, and a pathetic little whine is muffled around the base of him when he yanks the strands harder.

Logan’s not sure how this even happened, but he’d be a fool to question the logistics of it all, especially when he’s got the prettiest girl he’s ever seen wrapped around him, sucking him down greedily.

All he knows is that the minute Wade left the abandoned diner, something about finding a car or whatever the fuck he’d been talking about, you all but jumped Logan.

“Logan…” your breathy, sweet voice brings him back from the depths of his mind, eyes glassy as you stare up at him. “Tastes so, so good.”

“Fuck, baby.” He groans because the sight of you makes his tip bubble with desire. Spit connects him to your swollen, used lips and hums keep slipping from you, like you’re doing this for your pleasure. “So needy and desperate for me, hmm? Such a little slut that you can’t help but drop to your knees the minute we’re alone?”

A full body shiver racks through you at his deep grunt, at his filthy words. You’re so fucking horny; your pussy is aching and clenching around nothing, slick seeping from your hole to your thighs, all because you’re that gone for the mean, grumpy man above you.

“Yes— yes. Please use me, Logan. Please.”

It’s your whimpering words that have his hips thrusting his cock back into your mouth. He grunts loud at the familiar feel of your warm, wet mouth suckling on him.

Its so, so good that everything slips away from him— his past, his failures, the void— it’s all gone as hot, searing desire fills him completely, a promise of ecstasy nudging his lower stomach.

Pride swirls in your chest at the knowledge that it’s you bringing Logan to the brink of pleasure. The minute you had landed on top of him ( and that delicious tight, yellow suit) as you were tossed in the void, you ached to have his cock fuck your throat raw.

You’re mentally patting yourself on the back— maybe dreams do come true!

“Shit, your mouth feels too good.” Logan huffs, hips unrelenting, the brown curls dusting his pubic bone brush your nose with every plunge, He’s staring at you now, in awe of how fucking beautiful you look, mouth stuffed full of him.

You moan around him, drool spilling from the sides of your mouth and onto the floor as your wet eyes meet his. You can tell he’s close and your mouth practically salivates at the idea of his come coating your tastebuds.

Swiftly, your hands tug at his suit bottoms, yanking them down further until his muscular, hairy thighs are on display. Then, with a swirl of your tongue to his slit, you drag your nails down the tops of his thighs, sharp and deep enough that a couple droplets of red follow, trailing down after your hands.

And that sends Logan soaring; the mix of pain and immense bliss turns his head fuzzy. Deep groans echo around the diner and your gag is sudden as his hands press your face all the way down, until your mouth is around his base. You’re unable to do anything but take what he gives you; his come is hot and searing as he spurts in your mouth. And you could cry with joy because there’s so much that white pools around your lips and dribbles on his pubic bone, down his thighs.

When his hold eases up, you pull off with a gasp, come and spit all over your mouth and chin and fuck, Logan shivers as his sensitive cock twitches.

You cough a couple times before lowering back down, sweetly sucking on his red, swollen tip to collect every last drop of the salty substance.

Past you was completely rational in craving his spend; the taste of Logan is addictive. Now that you’ve had him, you’re not sure how you’re supposed to do anything when you’d rather be split open on his cock and your mouth full of his fingers.

“Fuck, baby. Give me a second,” he laughs a little, because even though he’s incredibly overwhelmed with the after effects of his orgasm, he thinks it’s cute that you’re still tonguing at his cock, sucking and licking his tip.

“Just cleaning you up.” You grin, face overtaken with mischief and lust. You only release him when he tugs at your hair, the pain sending jolts of pleasure to your neglected, puffy clit.

Logan curses before he pulls you up off your knees and upright until you’re standing against his chest, faces dangerously close as the air is a touch more intimate than before.

It’s then, with the sheen of saliva glistening your lips, he realizes he might want to eat you alive.

“Let me taste you, baby. Fuck— can smell how much you want my mouth on your pretty pussy.”

“Please—“ you beg, pitifully. You’d take whatever he was willing to offer.

And just as is Logan lifting you up and on the counter, the loud bang! of the door startles you both.

“Well, well, well! Hooking up without me? I’m offended… and also extremely turned on. Don’t mind me. Please continue, I love to watch.”

The red-masked man watches as an embarrassment coats your face and annoyance covers Logan’s.

“Wade!”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You drop your head on Logan’s chest and sigh.

Perhaps getting the best head of your life would have to wait, much to your dismay.

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[moyazaika]

omg doe brought up this AMAZINGGG idea abt the crime lord yan and his lawyer darling hello hey hi!!!!!!

this kinda got away from me because it is 3am but i nEEEEEDED to get this out bjsjsjjs i blame @carnivorousyandeere

i know i wrote the initial dynamic for his darling to be his lawyer, in that they’re on his side in court to keep him from getting sent to prison BUT BUT BUT hear me out T_T

lawyer darling who put yan kingpin away.

as in ,, you are the reason he was found guilty. you are the one, when the judge announced the final verdict, that his gaze turned to and that he smiled for, then. sentenced to death, before it was appealed to multiple life sentences; the beginning of the end of his empire.

you, you, you — the cause of his downfall.

after the infamous internationally documented case, your career soars to unprecedented heights. you’re the lawyer on every newspaper in every country, all the tv channels and glossy magazines. every law school wants you to speak at their graduation ceremonies. every firm’s reaching out to you. the whole world knows your name; you have everything!

—so why do you keep going back to the man who now has nothing?

the kingpin looks the same as he did that fateful day in court. only now, there’s bags under his eyes, and a five o clock shadow on his jaw; lips still curled in an easygoing smile. he laughs when he sees you, as if the two of you were merely old friends who hadn’t caught up in a while.

as if you’re not visiting him years later in the city’s most high security prison.

he grins. “come to gloat, have ‘ya?”

“you’ve committed countless crimes.” you state. “stolen lives and livelihoods. broken up families. killed good men. and still, all these years later, no remorse?”

“don’t get ‘yer panties in a twist,” he huffs, lazily leans back in the rickety prison chair so that he’s swinging it back and forth on its back legs, like a child. how absurd that even the garish orange uniform of a prison should suit him, “comes with the job description, don’t it?”

“i think about you,” you admit, eyeing the chains that bind his handcuffed hands to the desk in front of him. you look up, meet his gaze through the thick, dirty pane that separates you from him. keeps you safe. out of his reach, if only just.

a low whistle. “you sure know how to make a man feel special, y’know. been followin’ your cases. never put another one like me away, did ‘ya?” he grins. “i like that i’m special. makes me feel all warm ‘nd fuzzy inside.”

“wow,” you let out. “you really have gone insane.”

“always been a ‘lil crazy! like i said, part of the job description. though i’ve been thinkin’ recently,” he starts.

your fascination prompts you to lean closer. a sort of morbid curiosity that yearns to solve the puzzle of his twisted mind, slot the pieces you’ve already got in a way that makes them fit. you’ve got this weird feeling that you’re missing something. a big piece, maybe. one of the central ones.

“thinking about what?” your voice is barely above a whisper, almost conspiratorial. he leans in, too, all wide eyes—

—and then he jerks forward with the chains around the cuffs on his wrists pulled taut as he suddenly yanks them all the way, like a feral dog pulling on its leash. he looks like one, too, with that glint in his eyes.

“fuck!”

you barely even register that you’re on the floor until he laughs, low in his throat. he makes a vague gesture to your chair, toppled over on its side.

“oops.” he says, coyly. “didn’t mean to scare ‘ya.”

“liar,” you hiss, standing up to dust yourself off. this was stupid. why would you even entertain the idea of a civil conversation with a madman?

he gasps dramatically. “this is slander, your honour!”

“i’m leaving,” you scoff. “i don’t even know why i even came down here. you’re clearly fucking crazy.”

“and you’re no fun!” he pouts. “how ‘bout you stay just a little longer and i’ll make it worth ‘yer time, pretty please?”

“no can do,” you turn on your heels and reach for the door, fingers curled around the handle as you spare him one final glance over your shoulder— “have fun rotting in here for the rest of your life, psycho.”

—except the door won’t open. you try again, and again once more. the handle won’t budge. an awful sense of urgency overcomes you as you desperately shake the handle in a futile attempt to get it to just—

“funny ‘yer calling me crazy, ‘cus einstein once said real insanity is doin’ the same thing,” he beams. “over and over and over and over again, and expecting different results. door’s locked, lovely. ‘yer not getting out from there, ‘m afraid.”

you turn back then, still holding onto that door like a lifeline. he’s standing up, rubbing sore wrists that are, you realise with a sinking feeling, no longer bound by the handcuffs that kept him chained; on a short leash, like a good dog.

“what are you doing…?” your voice shakes, and it’s a far cry to the headstrong, unwavering lawyer who put the world’s most notorious criminal behind bars. “what the fuck—”

“i told you i’d make it worth your while t’stay,” he rolls up his sleeves, before pushing all of his hair (longer and greasier than the last you saw him) out of his face, features set in a determination you’ve never glimpsed before. familiar eyes twinkle with mischief. “and i meant it, y’know. the world’s very best lawyer came so far to see me! least i can do is greet ‘em properly.”

“‘cus see, the other prisoners wouldn’t be so nice. but i’ve been thinkin’ about you too.” he pulls his arm back and his fist comes flying at the pane. “don’t wanna have a conversation or nothin’ like that, nah, we talked enough.”

“you’ve been thinking about me, i’ve been waiting around for you…” bloody knuckles against cracks in the one barrier that is keeping you safe from him. you watch, helpless, as it threatens to break beneath the brute force of his trained fists.

“now let me just come over there,” he pulls his arm back again, ready to strike; knuckles raw and red, like the maniacal grin carved onto his pretty, flushed face. a deep blush and a shaky smile as those fists bring it all crashing down. “and show you how much i missed my faaavourite lawyer in the whole wide world.”

“—that be a good enough reason to stick around?” he asks slyly, before catching himself. “oh, silly me.” he shakes his head, apologetically, as he steps over broken shards on the floor, tainted with his blood. “doesn’t matter what ‘ya say.” a low hum when scarred hands reach out for you. “i waited so long for you…”

“… so, let’s make up reaaalllll good for all that lost time, okay?”

[vinjinssunglasses]

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・❥ character sammy

・❥ end 25 sep

・❥ a/n I think the last para could be considered NSFW, so be warned. ily guys 🙏

──────── ˚₊‧ ⋆⋅ ☆ ⋅⋆ ‧₊˚ ─────────

・❥ You cherish all the kisses he gives you — from the warm ones that leave you feeling fuzzy inside, to the ruthless, bittersweet ones that leave you breathless.

・❥ The desperate clashing of the lips when you haven’t seen each other for what seems like an eternity. Squeezing each other in the others arms, grateful to finally have you back by his side. Palms pressed to cheeks while your lips collide mercilessly, the world around you seemed to dissipate as he was the only one you needed at this moment. Neither of you spare a moment to take a breath; neither of you care about how messy you’ve made each other. The touch between you will never be enough to fill the emptiness in your hearts that you lost when you lost the other.

・❥ Or the kisses after you’ve been crying, warm and comforting on your forehead. Sitting atop him, legs in each side of him while you drench his shoulders in your tears. Samuel immediately rests his book down to hold you in a tight embrace, whispering sweet lullabies in your ear. He plants kisses on your reddened cheeks, tender and patient as he combs your hair back. Then, after a long and comforting silence, he places one on your lips — a kiss that feels like a promise, a promise that means he’ll always be by your side.

・❥ Your hands resting on his neck while you kiss all over, while murmuring the words “come to bed” while hes working. You can barely stand from the exhaustion, so you take his lap as your seat and plead him to finally come to bed. By 20 minutes, his neck is marked with hickeys and his face has traces of your lips, yet he remains unfazed. The warmth from his arms and his body head radiating against yours — you crave it. And he won’t give it to you. Samuel gently kisses your forehead over and over again as he tells you to go back to bed. Stubborn, you still insist he comes with you. Instead, he continues clacking the keys with his fingers, letting you rest on his legs until you finally fall asleep. Upon awaking, you distantly remember waiting for him — did he carry you to bed?

・❥ The steamy makeout sessions after arguments, where you grip at each other’s clothes in fury yet you just can’t get enough. At this moment, you hate the other’s guts for whatever reason, but none of you dare pull away. It’s messy, hands gripping hair and his glasses being thrown to the floor. It was your own special way of making up.

・❥ The barely awake kisses in the morning that end up on jaws or cheeks because you’re too tried to land it properly. You groan and rolls into Samuel more, draping your flimsy arms around him, leg folding over his body while you lazily tease after his shirtless back. He peppers little kisses around your forehead, admiring the sleepiness plastered over your face, while whispering sweet nothings into his year. And oh, goodness, isn’t his morning voice addictive? Low, raspy and music to your ears — you can’t help but look forward to it.

・❥ The ones where he suddenly wraps his arms around your waist, whispering ‘kiss me’ in a successful attempt to catch you off guard. You don’t hesitate to plant one on his lips, before he pulls you in for a surprise one. You giggle as he showers you in kisses — cheeks, lips, forehead.. Samuel simply can’t get enough of you.

・❥ The kisses where you can’t get enough of each other, lips clashing together as if each touch could never be enough. Clothes discarded in a frantic rush, each kiss barely giving enough room to catch your breath. He then pushes you onto the bed, movements filled with a need that you can feel in every touch. The way he rests his gaze on you is almost feral, eyes filled with lust as if he’s been holding back for too long. There’s a moment, a moment where you can see the desire burning into his eyes before you close the gap between you two. Hands tangling in his hair and your legs wrapped around his waist, the world around you falling away as you loose yourselves in each other.

[babygirl-isbad]

Inexperienced boys

He was inexperienced, he had no idea what he was doing. He had not been with a woman before, never felt anyone's touch.

He hadn't tried anything like this before, but the way the pussy is gripping his cock. Pleasure makes his mind all fuzzy. Better than anything he has ever felt before. Experiencing sex for the first time is surely an unforgettable feeling. This newly unlocked feeling of pleasure has him going feral.

Touching himself could never compare to the warm, fuzzy feeling around his dick, and the pleasure is incomparable.

The morning after his first time,the sheer site of me makes him melt.

The flashbacks of yesterday night making him hard and embarassed at the same time.

Oh- how he wants to feel all that pleasure again, never wanting to be apart from me, always inside.

[darlingsfandom]

Hello! Would you be able to write a fic about the new pics of Cillian! The ones with his beard in that movie Steve? The plot can be anything, just his beard is makes me feral... heh

hi! I agree… beard makes brain go brrr🥵

Photo : @i-blindside

It’s been two whole months since you’ve seen Cillian in person. He was busy filming his newest project Steve! As happy as you were for him and all the recognition he was finally getting, part of you felt selfish for wanting to keep him back at home with you doing his favorite things: sharing a cheese plate , napping and having sex.

“Don’t ya worry darlin, we’ll be seein each other real soon.” His voice kept repeating in your head as you laid back in the empty bed that you had sprayed some of his cologne on. It wasn’t the same but it did the job. A soft sigh left your lips as turned on your side to shut off the lamp. The breeze from the window brushed over your small nightgown, the soft sounds of owls hooting in the far distance echoed along with the sounds of your white noise machine. As your eyes closed your body had decided to betray you, your thighs clenched together, your nipples perked against the fabric and you could feel yourself leaking against your lace covered panties.

“Fuck it.” You mumbled out loud while throwing off the blanket. You reached into the bedside table and pulled out your wand. The lamp was turned back on and you pulled off your panties to toss them onto Cillians side of the bed. You picked up your phone and pulled up the photos Cillian had sent to you, his new beard had you thinking how hot it would feel against your thighs as he ate you out. Your eyes closed for a second to relax and you turned on the wand.

Slowly you pushed the vibrating wand against your clit making a loud gasp leave your lips. It had been awhile since you played with your toys. You laid with your legs spread open on display. As you rubbed the wand over your clit, your fingers on your free hand pulled on your nipples.

“Well well well… what do we have here ?” Your eyes shot open as your heart jumped out of your chest.

“Cillian!! How long have you been there ?” Your voice was shaking.

“Long enough darlin… did ya miss me tat much hmm?” He walked towards you with hunger lurking his eyes. You held tightly onto your wand as he sat down on the edge of the bed and pushed your legs back open since you had shut them in surprise.

“I need you… please!” You whined. Cillian let out a small chuckle as he wrapped his hand around your wand and pushed it closer against your clit. Your lips trembled as he kept his eyes locked on yours. Your mouth hung open as you watched Cillian play with your pussy. He smirked when he shut off your toy and put it on the bed. You watched as he stood up and undressed himself.

“Get naked darlin, need to see tat pretty body of yours.” His pants were around his ankles quickly and you obeyed his wishes. By the time he was naked so were you. Cillian climbed on top of you, pinned your hands above your head and laid flat on his tummy so he was face to face with your wet cunt.

“Please eat me out! Please! I’ve imagined how that beard would feel for so long!” He arched an eyebrow up at you while kissing your inner thighs.

“Ya like ta beard do ya? Naughty girl thinkin of me like tat!” He teased you before peppering more kisses along your plush thighs. You bit down on your lip as Cillian flattened his tongue and licked up your folds while keeping eye contact with you.

Cillian lapped his tongue slowly along your folds making you buck your hips. His hands let go of your wrist so he could wrap his arms around your thighs and bury his tongue deep inside you while holding you close. His beard was warm and fuzzy against your thighs making you grip onto the sheets.

“Oh fuck !! Cillian! Fuck I’ve missed you eating my pussy.” Your eyes were filled with tears from all the pleasure waving through your body. His fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs as you jumped his face. Cillian loved eating your pussy, always so wet and sweet for him. He hummed against you making you whimper.

He pulled away from your pussy making you whine.

“Come here…” he sat up and stroked his semi hard cock before pulling you on top of him. You put one knee on each side of him while you lowered your cunt down his cock. “OH FUCK! God I’ve missed ya pussy.” His hands gripped your hips tightly. Your hands laid on his chest while you leaned forward to give him a soft kiss. He kissed you back gently and lovingly until you had sank all the way down his cock and his balls were pressed against you.

“Fuck me sir! I’ve missed you.” Cillian didn’t have to be told twice. He started slowly thrusting up into you. The two of you looked at each other with pure lust as he reached that spot that your fingers never could. Your mouth hung open as he guided you along his cock while making you take every inch of his thick cock.

“Tats my good girl! I’ve missed ya baby girl!” His words hit your core making you moan loudly. Your nails dug into his arms as he bounced you hard along his cock. The sounds of your pussy sucking him in, mixed with wet sounds of his balls hitting against you made you hot. You were falling apart in front of him. “Look at ya, already so fucked out and I just got home. Gonna fuck tat beautiful cunt of yours .” Cillian reached up and laced his fingers into your hair, pulled on it to pull you closer and kissed you hard as he gave it to you as hard as he could.

The familiar feeling in your lower stomach was about to snap and he knew it.

“Gonna cum! Can’t… fuck! You feel so good honey!” His words came out in a growl as you dragged your nails down his arms while his cock bruised your pussy. You squeezed him tightly as your own orgasm shook through out your body .

“Cillian!! Fuck!!! Mmmm!” Your body went limp as the juices flowed down his cock from your pussy. That was his final straw! Cillians cum shot deep inside of you making you clench more. He held onto you tightly while crying out your name.

The both of you stayed still as your high came crashing down. Your body went limp. You laid your head against his chest as his cock stayed buried in your pussy. His hand ran slowly up and down your back while pressing his lips into your temple.

“Next round, yer gonna sit on me face and soak me beard.” Cillian brushed the hair out of your face when you lifted your head to look up at him with flushed cheeks and a loving smile.

“That’s a promise.” You kissed him lovingly. It was nice to have your husband back home .

[roseykat]

Right, so, uhm..

I need minsung thoughts. smutty, dirty thoughts. they drive me feral.

Do you have any headcanons or hard thoughts about them

well I’m glad you asked bc

1: Minho likes toying with Jisung’s mouth. Whether it’s with the tip of his cock or his fingers. He likes to slick them up with Jisung’s spit, getting ready to finger fuck him after being prepped well. 

2: Minho loves watching Jisung practically sob over the fact that he won’t fuck him, sometimes because he’s been acting up or might have broken a rule – something along those lines. This would sort of fall under the scope of begging which Minho can never get enough of. 

3: Jisung is just a hole for Minho (in the best way possible). They have this consent system where whenever Minho is horny and needs Jisung, Jisung allows his boyfriend to just take him on the spot. Jisung’s in the shower? Shower sex. He’s cooking dinner in the kitchen? Jisung is getting bent over the counter. In the lounge watching a movie? Jisung can multitask taking dick and watching some TV. 

4: Whenever Minho cums inside Jisung, he makes the habit of slowly continuing to fuck him until he visibly sees the ring of cream around his cock. This also sort of ties in with number 5 below. 

5: Jisung folds for creampies (if Minho is nice enough to give him one). There’s just something he loves about that warm fuzzy feeling whenever Minho cums inside him and pulls out just to watch it slowly drip down his thighs. 

6: The dirty talk between these two goes hard. They’re so shameless because they’re so in love with each other and just live to make each other feel so good (sexually and non-sexually). But Minho would be buried in Jisung - to the hilt and saying things like, ‘you like that, huh? I know you do because your eyes are rolling back.’ Whereas Jisung would practically egg Minho on, saying ‘fuck me harder,’ ‘make me cum,’ ‘wanna cum so bad for you.’

7: Public sex. Imo, these two would somehow manage to go at it in public too. Whether it’s a handjob under the table surrounded by friends, fucking each other's brains out in the bathroom, smashing in the dressing room at some clothing store, Jisung sucking off Minho on an empty carriage on a train – who knows with them honestly. 

8: Jisung likes to be manhandled and Minho likes to manhandle. This dynamic of theirs creates for some times where the sex will end up being rough. Rough to the point where Jisung is coming out of those rounds with bruises and Minho has a sickening line of hickies and deep red scratches down his back.

9: Minho’s moans are pornographic and Jisung lives to hear them. It’s one of the reasons why he wants to make Minho feel good in bed; just to hear him moan like that. They’re so strained, and raspy at times yet all in all so angelic. Mixed in with Jisung’s whimpering and slight high pitched moans could easily make for an amazing porno. 

10: Jisung is amazing at giving head, but his hubby? Next level. Minho has tricks that can make Jisung cum in under a minute if he’s fully hard. But he typically uses oral as a method to either tease or edge the fuck out Jisung like elongating the strokes with his mouth, really dragging it out, or maybe he just isolates it at the tip of Jisung’s cock. Depends how mean he feels. 

11: Jisung is a cum slut. If he’s not asking for it inside of him, he’s asking for it on his face, abdomen, thighs, and chest but particularly in his mouth which is a dream for Minho because he can just fuck Jisung’s mouth until he cums. But Jisung will gladly on any given day, take a warm, white load from Minho, swallow it, and then smile up at him like the menace he is. 

-

I was summoned to write some of my hc’s and here they are, especially the ones that i cannot stop thinking about 😭🫠😵‍💫

[perotovar]

Hi Erin

'Into the Beat of the Night' has its Fan Fiction Birthday on 2nd November 🎂

Happy birthday!

Tell us something about that fic, anything you like, and we'll help blow out the candles and wish it many happy returns!

You can save this ask until the actual date or reply whenever you like.

oh, man 😭 el, this is one of the sweetest messages i could've received! the fact that you've kept up on that makes my insides all warm and fuzzy. thank you SO much 🫂

i absolutely love my baby river, the heart and soul of the story, so i'm going to mention some things that haven't really come up in the fic, but are canon to them!

-

they're from new york, specifically the brooklyn area. i haven't really decided if that's where the fic takes place, but i know that's where they grew up/got their life started!

they're a vegetarian! i've hinted at it a couple times, but never confirmed it lol there's no real reason other than it just feeling right for them tbh. they just strike me as someone that takes care of their body a lot, so they eat really well, they work out (i'm thinking a lot of yoga, but also some weight lifting. they could probably pick up frankie, but not, like, bench press him or anything lol)

they read a LOT. lots of nonfiction. but if they do read fiction, it’s probably sci-fi.

nsfw warning:

they went on T for a little while, but ultimately stopped. this has led to them having some bottom growth (they've got an enlarged clitoris for the cis folks) but not enough to fuck anyone with. it's one of frankie's favorite things in the world, and sometimes he asks them if he can "suck their dick" and it makes them fucking feral

also, because of this, their voice has a raspy/huskiness to it! i haven't found the right voiceclaim for them yet, but once i do i'll let y'all know LOL

(i made river in baldur's gate, so we finally have some sort of visual representation for them LOL)

the next chapter is going to be super cute and i can't wait to share it with you all!

[valentine-cafe]

May I have a few milk tarts please!!!!

[Afab reader]

Just thinking about Alessio bringing you on camera for this time!! You would be so nervous about it too! Ofc you guys talked about it before, but it's still nerve-racking in the moment!! And Alessio's reading the comments while you sit pretty next to him. You only catch a glimpse of the comment that made Alessio sit up straighter and press his lips into a thin line. Something along the lines of how hot you look sitting there and if Alessio ever got tired of you, they would love to give you a try.

So it wasn't long before you were on your back with his hips hammering into yours. Your legs on his shoulders and your fingers tangled in his hair and sinking into his skin. And he'll litter marks all over your chest and neck muttering how he'll never leave you, and he won't let anyone else have you. All you can do is moan and whine, feeling your brain get more fuzzy with each thrust and mark accompanied by possessive words being rasped out against your skin.

-🍄

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ verse 9948e alessio

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍡 ꒱ sorcerer x reader, cw: cam sex ( pre-consented to ), camboy!alessio, live cam sex, creampie ⊹ ۪ ࣪

he’d positioned the camera so that it got the perfect view of your stuffed cunt. all clenching and leaking as he fucks you full. hips pistoning into yours like a jackhammer as his feral pants fill the room.

the constant bing bing bings! fly over your head. he didn’t even bother looking at the second screen to behold the comments pouring in. he didn’t care - all he needed is for them to know that you are his.

“mine - you got that? mine.”

he’d groan into your neck. hand reaching down so messily swirl at your clit with two fingers. all while he abruptly buried all the way and humps like a madman.

anything to make your head tilt back and moans spill from your pretty lips. anything to have you whining out his name like the slut you are for him.

“a-aless - alessio alessssi - alessiooo - oh -”

his kisses stain your neck. he’ll bite wherever he possibly can and fuck at an angle that accentuates the lewd plapping of your wet pussy. so that the stream could hear it. hear the way he fucks you. how he’s made you cum.

“you hear that? hear how I’m fuckin’ her? yeah? hear how loud this pretty pussy is for me?”

he’d speak up. still muffles against your skin as he continues his feral thrusts. all while you lose yourself to overstimulation and the feeling of his warm cum spilling inside of you.

[leafteaposts]

I need to get some Aus out of my head in hopes I can continue working on my actual fics om writing.

So have the one that distracts me the most at the moment,

Lighthouse!AU

The storyline follows canon but there is no Baratie. No restaurant floating at the sea.

In this au Zeff's trauma of losing his crew, being stuck on a rock with a little feral eggplant and eating his own fucking leg takes a toll. When they are saved he wants to leave all behind but the kid has fixated on him and is, after all the only one that actually understands the horror of almost starving to death and surviving the storm that took all he had left. He can't handle the tempo, the sounds, the teeming life around him anymore, as he has ghosts at every corner and a equally traumatized kid looking at him like he is a saviour, like he is worth something.

They are more co-dependent in this au and when the Marines hear that red leg Zeff might be the man saved with a kid from a rock in the middle of nowhere he flees in the night. Taking Sanji with him.

From there they steal a boat and sets out to sea. They drift for a long time, moving in the night and laying low in the days, Sanji has to steal food and help a still weak Zeff that are equal parts caring and hostile as he still has a nasty infection raging inside due to his self amputated leg.

At the edge of the east blue they find a small island surrounded with jagged cliffs and a wind that never quiets. There stands a lighthouse and they make it their home. They do have a small space that serves as a restaurant /sleeping area/ infirmary when shipwrecked sailors finds them or drift ashore. Mostly smugglers, pirates and other shady people, often in bad conditions and Zeff and Sanji feed them with what they have and steal what they deem reasonable.

Zeff have huge survivors guilt (as does Sanji) Zeff want more for Sanji, for him to leave, to find the all blue, but just can't push him to leave, instead they grow ever more dependent on each other, Sanji's own guilt and issues make him much more quiet, not as aggressive as he doesn't grow up in a rowdy restaurant in his adolescence years. Still anger issues but take the form more introverted.

They have a patch of land they grow vegetables on and have some sheep and goats for wool and milk/meat. (Living quietly on the island when they arrived, no people, the lighthouse seems to be a forgotten blind spot in the sea for most. Having been abandoned for a long time.) Due to their living conditions Sanj is foremost educated in foods that can last long times and harsh weathers, but they still make the best food you ever eaten. This is maybe also why, Sanji muses, why he gets a warm feeling when Zoro (and Luffy) never show any signs of disgust over eating frogs, rats etc. At Skypeia much later, he feels all fuzzy when they all devour the rat stew and he can't stop locking at the swordsman.

Patty and Carne find them as smugglers in need and they keep supplying them and are their only steady visitors. Until a boy with a straw hat crashes the peace and brings change with him.

Nami still steals the Merry but it takes much longer time. They stay longer, and the drama with Don Crieg is still happening, just as Mihawks arrives, etc. They get to know Zeff, Sanji and their small world. After a long time at the lighthouse Nami leave with the Merry and Zeff dares to slowly let Sanji free, pushing him towards his destiny.

This Sanji have longer hair as he can't be as fancy/prissy on the island, have to groom himself/of have Zeff help him. Takes on the role as the care taker a lot as Zeff has serious bouts of depression in periods. Dissociates a lot and compartments his life a lot to handle the loneliness and his own traumas. Wakes up sometimes with Zeffs hands in his hair and the old man humming sea shantys to bring the light back into Sanji's eyes. He dress smart but clear they are poor and lives of the sea and land. He is good at sewing and mending. After Arlong park Nami makes sure Sanji gets a proper suit, heck she makes sure he gets one in each big port. Slowly he can develop his style and image he has inside and we see more of canon Sanju shine through. He is still a lover boy, still heart in his eyes but much more shy. Clashes with Zoro at the regular, bonds with Usopp the most at the start. Usopp and Nami also teach him about the outside world more, giving him books to read and Zoro often asks him to read out loud so he can practice. Sanji takes it as criticism but Zoro loves listening to his voice and also learns himself. Zoro surprises himself with discovering he is secretly a history buff. Zoro also helps Sanji with math as suddenly working with such large quantities and berries is a little daunting in the beginning. This is also one of the reasons they often shop together when restocking the food etc.

A slow, quiet love grows in those moments, often making them feel confused about their feelings as the fights and butting heads doesn't stop. They have different goals and ideologies just as in canon but complement each other and Luffy perfectly.

Phew. Maybe it will now leave me alone?

[animentality]

the idea of gortash making a gamefaqs guide on how to romance a bhaalspawn is very funny if you think durge was also smitten, but just as bad if not worse at showing it. like gortash compliments them and it makes durge feel all warm and fuzzy inside which is a new and scary feeling for them, so they just reply "say that again and i'll rip your intestines out and eat them in front of you." and gortash goes back and writes "???????" next to "try complimenting them" on his board bc he cant tell if that was the bhaalspawn equivalent of flirting or not. also durge bringing him dead things like a feral cat and he's like "ARE THESE THREATS OR GIFTS ARE YOU WOOING ME OR PLOTTING MY DEATH" (the answer is yes)

asdfghjkll hmmmmm ok but that IS hilarious

gortash is like, "I slaughtered and mutilated this man in a Bhaalist sort of fashion to show you that I care about your interests-"

and the dark urge is immediately flustered and blown away because no one's ever done that for them before, but they can't say that, they don't even have the language to say it, so they just say, very flatly: "that is an insult to my father."

and then they go home and clutch a pillow to their chest and maybe write some gay poetry in their gay little notebook.

meanwhile gortash goes back to the white board and furiously scribbles in his notes:

"does not like bhaalist expressions of love. next try: banite."

[noridoorman]

"Dissasembly Dad Instincts" Scrapped First Chapter

This was meant to be the first chapter of "Dissasembly Dad Instincts" (previously: Tiny Little Bat/Under my wings) but it didn't focus enough on the N becoming feral part so I decided to scrap it. However, it's still really cute so I'm uploading it here for everyone (It's not proof-read tho!!)

“The tiny little bat woke up, opened its eyes, and saw mom.”

From all the things N ever expected to happen in his life, the grim future of having to put down the drone he recently discovered he loved or letting the entire universe succumb to his selfish wish as his little sister (or something else) destroyed everything and anything in her wake…

Laying on the couch, his wings and arms wrapped securely around Uzi as she read their newly made baby a story out of a children's book was far away from N’s future bingo card. Hell, even before meeting Uzi he thought all his life would be spent killing worker drones and chasing a love that has long been extinguished, leaving nothing but bitter coldness. 

Yet here he is, Uzi's voice softer than usual as she caressed their baby with one hand whilst the other held the book. 

“With tiny little claws it clings, laying in mother’s chest, wrapped in her wings” N’s eyes softened as she looked down at their baby with love and adoration in her gaze. He subconsciously tightened the hug, his hand moving down to stroke the side next to their baby’s visor. 

“And its tiny little body is enveloped in warmth as the father holds them all in one” Uzi's voice progressively gets softer as their baby’s eyes begin blinking slowly. Seeing Uzi so calm and content served as a strong contrast to her earlier freak out when she realized that, 

Yes

They just made a baby. 

-

“We have a baby…” Uzi whispered as she, N and Khan walked out of the nursery, holding her baby tight with both her arms securely to her chest. The once serene and content expression contorted into one of fear and surprise as the weight of their decision finally settled in her. “Oh my god, we have a baby!”

“Uzi, is everything alri-”

“We. Made. A. Baby!” Uzi turned fully to N, clutching the baby tight to her stomach. N instinctively reached out, pulling her into his embrace as he wrapped his wings around them. “What am I meant to do? How do I mother?! Heck, I never grew up with one, who should I take as an example, I-”

Uzi’s words were cut off as restless noises emitted from the little pill drone, its expression contorting into one of exhaustion and displeasure. N’s hold on Uzi tightened as Uzi’s own eyes began to widen, a terrified expression in her face.

“Uzi, look at me,” Khan taps her shoulder after N let his wings a little loosen around them yet his grip stayed as tight as ever. “It’s alright, you’ll get the hang of it very soon,”

“I already made him upset!” Uzi’s gaze lingers on the baby as she attempts to bounce him in her arms. 

“Uzi, you didn’t make him upset. He’s tired, see!” Khan points at the baby, its eyes threatening to close completely several times. Khan chuckles at the sight. “It’s normal for them to get this tired after activation!”

“Oh…” Uzi’s shoulder tense, grimacing as she looked at the floor. “And how do I make him… sleep?”

“Bounce him a bit, or sing a lullaby, your mom used to do that for you!” The images of Uzi singing their baby to sleep, bouncing him up and down near his nursery made N feel all fuzzy and warm inside. “Or maybe read him out of a book,”

“A book?” Uzi raises a brow. “Like… that one children’s book mom used to read to me?”

“Yeah, that for example!” Khan smiled. “In fact, I could go back and retrieve it if you want!”

-

“And its tiny little heart was wrapped in so much love,” Both Uzi and N became aware of the visor of their son displaying “SLEEP MODE”. With a smile, Uzi closed the book, placing it down somewhere on her leg, holding the baby tighter.

“You guys are so adorable,” N whispers, sneaking a kiss on Uzi’s cheek, making her blush up a storm. 

“Pfff, says you!” Uzi whisper-yells. “You’ve been staring at Colt the whole time!”

“I can’t help myself!” N wraps his wings tighter around them two. “He looks like an adorable little pill!”

“N!” Uzi suppressed a chuckle, leaning her head on N’s chest. She sighed, closing her eyes. “We should probably go recharge soon,” She tries to wiggle out of N’s embrace but he tightens it instead.

“We can sleep like that!” 

“N, our charging cables don’t reach all the way to the couch!” Uzi moves around further, finally standing up after N broke the embrace. 

“Awe, you’re no fun,” N pouts, earning a laugh from Uzi.

“At least one of us has to be the responsible one,” Uzi grins. “Especially since we’re now parents,”

“It still sounds so surreal” N stands up from his spot on the couch, standing close in front of Uzi and seeing Colt sleeping in her arms.

“I don’t think it will ever sound less surreal” Uzi sways Colt carefully in her arms, making N feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight. “Even after months of prep…”

“I just know that as long as it's with you we can deal with everything,” N cups Uzi’s face with his hands, feeling the urge to kiss her on her lips as she begins to blush up a storm. He chuckles, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles. “How often did I say that before and how often do you still blush at that?”

“Bite me!” Uzi pouts. “I’m just not used to this much affection yet!”

“I think we should be quieter” N points at Colt which has the Sleep Mode interface glitch as if he was about to wake up. Uzi grimaces, holding Colt tighter as to lull him back into sleep.

“You’re right,” Uzi whispers. “Let’s go,” Uzi nudges her head towards the direction of their bedroom.

[poppy-metal]

I've got thoughts on your post about that specific gif of the lives of college girls, especially the one where that girl (it's just Jordan in my mind because it just went there immediately) squeezes Leighton's boobs...

First, yes, this entire gifset is Jordan Li coded, and I fucking love it ❤️

Second, I can litteraly see Jordan squeeze your still clothed boobs and hear them say some shit like "Let's free my girls, okay ?" with a grin.

I feel like they'd worship your breast, almost as much as your ass, licking, sucking, squeezing, just the right amount to make you feel good from just that stimulation.

Also, please, you wearing a nice little set of underwear and bra, cute or hot, and they'd go feral at the thought of you going out of your way to please them. It really goes well with the hero worship, I think, to a point.

Jordan wants to be valued, and you doing things like that for them ? Because you think they deserve the surprise, that they work so hard it's the least you can do for your number one superhero from their number one fan ?

You're going to stay up all night girl. All night.

Writing this in psychology class, I'm down bad... Anyway, love you an take care ❤️

-🥖

wearing pretty lingerie for them 🥺🥺🥺 yeah, yeah <33 wanting to please them, see their eyes go hot and dark at the sight of you. they love how the soft fabric clings to your curves - how it barely covers your nipples - your cunt, curving into the crease of your ass. in such pretty colors light and pastel it makes their throat dry, having someone so pretty all dolled up for them. because you want them. you did it for them, makes their head fuzzy.

they spend so long running their hands up and down your thighs, cupping your tits, squeezing them, gripping your asscheeks. they pull the fabric to the side gently so they can see you - getting more and more worked up the more they see of you.

lace pulled to the side so the plush folds of your cunt are revealed - they hiss like its the first time they've seeing you all over again. parting your lips to see that wet center - pretty and slick and framed by your lingerie like a fucking gift wrapped present.

"holy fuck, baby. you're so fucking wet - so pretty. you got this pussy all dolled up for me, huh?"

they know it is, but fuck, they love to hear you say it. holding you open, knuckle running through the wet slit of you - grinding it into you.

n you're flushed and bashful yet so so, hungry. nodding shyly as you spread your legs even wider for them. tilt your hips up, offering your cunt to them like a platter.

"then daddy better say thank you," they nudge back the hood of your clit, revealing that throbbing little nub. tiny and hard and pulsing with need. jordan leans forward till you feel their warm breath skating across your slick folds - your clit. "so fucking lucky to have you, baby - this fucking pussy -"

their mouth between your legs has your legs kicking out, but jordan has your thighs gripped and held open - pushed down toward your chest - toes pointed toward the ceiling as they get to work. moaning into the slippery mess of your cunt - sliding their tongue from the bottom of your cunt to the top. sucking your clit into their mouth, bullying it with swipes of their tongue back and forth.

and its just the beginning - they plan on eating you from the inside out. touching and kissing and worshipping every part of you. because this is for them, and you're going to let them.

[silverstonesainz-archive]

favorite fics & other good things ↳ my guilty pleasure reads, social media edits, & favorite people

wanted to compile a list of all my favorite reads, in case yall needed something new to look at. (but also if you follow me, you probably follow all my favs and see all their works anyways). this also a cute little post to show appreciation to my fellow writers/creators on here bc...... it's kind of rough out here and i just wanna give a little love. making this also made me realize i read fics from the same rotation of people so if you have fic recs, do send them my way! but without further ado, here we go!

+ long fics

the devil in disguise by @ricc3rodeo [daniel ricciardo x fem!oc] this can't come as shock to yall. if you haven't read this series then you need to RIGHT now. q is a true & honest to god wench for this series but i love it so much. and i love sam so much. and i love HER so much

moonlight by @vamossainz55 [carlos sainz x fem!reader] another great carlos fic & im not just saying that bc i love niks. the plot is CHEF'S KISS so pls read it is 10/10. (note: the link is to the latest chapter, not a masterlist!)

dogs of war by @schuvries [charles leclerc x fem!reader] spirit is by far one of my favorite writers and people on this hellsite. she has such a way with words and i wanna be here when i grow up. read any and all her works you will never be disappointed.

august rush by @harley-sunday [carlos sainz x fem!reader] the softness, the domesticity, the friends to lovers. so fucking good. easily my favorite fics on this sight.

+ one-shots

to live a lifetime with you by @formulabear [charles leclerc x fem!reader] i remember reading this and feeling every ounce of emotion from it. so good. if you haven't read this then you need to right freaking NOW.

listen up / my dear by @oyesmendes [daniel ricciardo x fem!reader] this one made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. gotta love me some danny ric!!!

though i have to travel far, remember me by schuvries [daniel ricciardo x gn!reader] spirit absolutely tore me apart with this one. ripped me to shreds. so fucking good.

said something stupid, instead of 'i love you.' by @absolutelynotmate [charles leclerc x fem!reader] 27k words of delectable writing. take a seat, drink some coffee, & enjoy the ride of emotions this fic brings

brought me here by @leclsrc [carlos sainz x fem!reader] auds is the only person who can make me cry over oranges. this makes me so ill (but in the best way) and makes me fall for carlos even more.

has yet to pass by leclsrc [carlos sainz x fem!reader] the angsty?? the slow burn?? the ending. you have to read it. HAVE TO.

the 1 by @lxclerc [daniel ricciardo x fem!reader] i think of this fic often. this also tore me to shred in the best way. lex is also one of the best writes yall should read her entire masterlist actually.

+ blurbs

snowflakes by absolutelynotmate [carlos sainz] wanna be in the snow with carlos :(

carousel by absolutelynotmate [carlos sainz] i also want to have his baby

overly sincere by leclsrc [charles leclerc] auds is sick for this one

yellow? by schuvries [carlos sainz] the idea of carlos calling me his "hielo" makes me rabid

frosting by @diorleclerc [carlos sainz / 18+] this... this makes me feral. i want this.

13:44 by formulabear [carlos sainz] the softness of this makes me want to swallow my pillow. i want this man so bad

mick + choking by @whorekneecentral [mick schumacher / 18+] this isn't a blurb so much as it is a brainrot post but it is important to me i include this on the list. i want mick so so so so bad.

+ social media aus

tiktoked / sneaky by leclsrc [carlos sainz] my guilty pleasure au. fuck this is my dream. actually auds got the texts from my phone(real)

a bet is a bet by absolutelynotmate [charles leclerc] this. chef's kiss. the work put into these aus. fuck my wife is PHENOMENAL.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Good afternoon author, can I request a Thor x reader x lubu NSFW.😅☺

Thor x Reader x Lu Bu

-You bit your bottom lip, trying in vain to muffle a soft whine before Lu Bu let out an almost feral growl, his hands on your thighs, keeping them spread as he fucked you with his tongue, devouring you.

-You were so sensitive; he could feel the tremors shaking your thighs- hell your whole body as he coaxed you through your third orgasm of the night.

-Thor’s hands stroked up your sides to your chest, flicking his thumbs against your nipples, soothing the numerous kiss marks they had decorated your body with.

-Your hands were locked together behind Thor’s neck, having been ordered what felt like hours ago to keep them there or else.

-Your shared lovers were wonderful men to you, but times like these, every now and then, they would torture you, ignoring their only pleasure to focus solely on them, until your brain was mush and you could only say their names.

-Thor’s cock was deep inside you, you could feel him throbbing, but he wasn’t moving, just letting you cock warm him while Lu Bu was pleasuring you with his tongue, flicking against your clit and shoving his tongue inside you, pleasuring both you and Thor.

-Thor sunk his teeth into your shoulder, drawing out another cry, not of pain, but of ecstasy, the slight pain making you feel ten times more sensitive and you clenched hard around him, making his own breath falter.

-You whined softly down at Lu Bu, your eyes full of tears as you tried to plead down to him, unsure if you wanted him to stop or go harder.

-His toothy smirk sent a chill up your spine as his sharp teeth nipped at your thigh softly, making you whine, your legs shifting in his grasp before Thor spoke, his hot breath on your neck and ear, making goosebumps appear, “Join me.”

-Your eyes widened as Lu Bu stood, holding your legs out a bit so he could step between them and when he let you go your legs instantly went around his waist as far as they would go.

-He tapped the head of his leaking cock against your clit, stroking softly making your head fall back with another cry, “Lu-!”

-He chuckled as Thor pulled out just a bit so Lu Bu could fit into the entrance as well, pushing in slowly.

-Despite being such fierce warriors, they were always very gentle with you, as you were one of the few people in their lives that they didn’t want to hurt.

-You whined, squeezing Thor’s neck as sharp breathy cries left you, “No-no it won’t- it won’t fit!” Lu Bu rocked against you, driving himself deeper with each thrust, Thor joining him.

-Your eyes crossed as your head tilted back, tongue lolling out as you clenched hard around them, quickly being brought to your peek again.

-When Lu Bu pulled out, Thor slammed in, then vice versa, you felt so full, everything felt so fuzzy but so electrifying all at the same time.

-Thor’s hand slid down your belly, feeling the bulges of their cocks as they jackhammered into you; Lu Bu let out a groan, his hands gripping at your waist, feeling Thor’s hand touching him through your belly.

-One of your hands gripped Thor’s hair, which made a rare throaty groan leave him and the other shot out to grab Lu Bu’s shoulder, nails biting into his skin.

-He chuckled darkly, panting hard as he looked down at you, one hand lifting to your chin, cupping your face to make you look at him, “You look so good like this.”

-Your eyes felt like they were rolling to the back of your head, your cries coming our higher and higher as you tried to hold on to what little sanity you had left.

-Thor’s mouth met your neck again, lapping at his bite marks as his hand lowered to your clit, he flicked against it once- then twice.

-The two men froze as you came with a sharp shriek, squirting hard, drenching the three of you and they were quick to chase their own ends.

-You moaned softly as you felt them filling you, your stomach inflating just a bit as their cum spilled out around you, making a mess.

-You felt like you couldn’t breathe as they slowly pulled out, watching their love gush out of you, your whole body twitching.

-Lu Bu picked you up and carried you to the bathroom to clean you off, touching you as if you were made of glass while Thor took care of the bedding.

-Once the three of you were all cleaned up, Lu Bu spooned you, hugging you close while you were cuddled up to Thor, barely clinging to consciousness.

-Thor pecked your forehead softly before giving you a grin, “Since you didn’t keep your hands where they were supposed to stay, you’re gonna get punished.”

-Lu Bu chuckled softly as you let out a small groan, “Later- I can’t move.” Which got the two men laughing lightly as you were quick to doze off.

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Sometimes a family is a girl, her pet rat, a traumatized soldier, and his feral girlfriend

Got a prompt over on AO3 that was basically just Sebastian being Rick's lil buddy and it turned into Rick and Harley accidentally adopting Cleo and Sebastian.

Rick jolts awake at the sound of a soft knock on the front door. He can just make it out over the sound of the torrential downpour that’s going on outside. The knock gets louder. Harley stirs beside him but doesn’t wake.

As a precaution, he grabs her baseball bat from the corner of their room and goes to answer the door. He cracks it open, bat hidden behind the door, and is shocked at what he sees.

Ratcatcher Two is standing out in the hallway, soaked to the bone and shivering. She’s got Sebastian the rat cradled in her hands.

Before he can say anything, Harley comes up and wraps her arms around him from behind. “Who’s at the door, baby?” she asks sleepily.

“Uh… It’s Cleo and Sebastian.”

“Hmm?” It takes a second for her brain to catch up but suddenly she’s wide awake and shoving him aside. “Oh my god! Get inside, hun, you must be freezing!”

Cleo sniffs and tells them, “I had to leave my living situation—it was becoming dangerous. We didn’t know where else to go. Sebastian figured out where you lived a while ago, Colonel Flag, since you saved him from Peacemaker.”

Sebastian waves from his spot in Cleo’s hands and Rick awkwardly waves back. It’s true that they’d saved each other back in Corto Maltese but it still feels weird to be waving at a rat.

He can hear water running and then Harley’s back. “C’mon, sweetie, let’s get ya into the shower so you can warm up. Towels are on top of the toilet and I got dry clothes for ya when ya get out.”

Once Cleo silently slips into the bathroom, she turns to Rick and says, “Baby, I love you but you’re absolutely useless right now.”

“Right, sorry. Lemme get the couch set up for her.”

Harley helps him wrangle a fitted sheet over the couch and stack several blankets and a pillow on top of it. Once that’s done he goes into the kitchen to make some quick breakfast sandwiches—his specialty. He even makes a tiny one for Sebastian.

He brings them out to the living room and he sees Cleo sitting on the couch with Harley. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms. He can hear her saying, “I had to get out of there. We were fine until it started raining and we couldn’t find anywhere dry to sleep.”

“Well you’re stayin’ here as long as ya need to.”

He sets the sandwiches on the coffee table and Sebastian immediately starts eating his but Cleo looks wary. “C’mon, eat up. You must be starving.”

She reaches for the sandwich and takes a small bite. “Thank you, Colonel Flag.”

“Please call me Rick.”

He goes to the bathroom to clean up the wet towels and hang up Cleo’s soaked clothes, figuring that she doesn’t want an audience while she eats.

Harley’s tucking her into bed on the couch when he gets back, Sebastian fast asleep on the pillow next to her head.

She creeps back over to him, flicking the lamp off and bathing the apartment in darkness. They stand there and watch the pair for a second. She leans against his side and sighs, “Can we keep her?”

He chuckles. “Yeah, we can keep her. C’mon, let’s go to bed, Harls.”

----------------

Cleo awakens slowly from the best sleep she’s ever experienced. It takes her a second to recognize her surroundings but then she remembers last night. She stumbles towards the sound of voices and the smell of bacon.

“Sometimes I wish I had two of ya,” she hears Harley say.

As she walks into the kitchen she vaguely registers the couple wrapped up in each other’s arms as Harley sips from a coffee mug. “Why do you want two Colonel Flags?” she asks sleepily.

Harley promptly spits her coffee all over Colonel Flag, which immediately wakes Cleo up. Had she said something wrong? He’s now blushing furiously, which just confuses her more.

“I’ll tell ya when you’re older,” Harley manages to wheeze out once she’s done coughing.

Oh. Oh! That explains a lot.

Colonel Flag excuses himself so he can change his shirt and Harley busies herself with getting a plate down from the cupboard and loading it up with scrambled eggs and bacon. She sets it on the table and says, “Dig in!”

Colonel Flag comes back with a dry shirt on and says, “Okay, so we’re all just gonna forget the last two minutes and focus on finding Ratcatcher Two here a place to live.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay, Sebastian and I will be okay on the streets again.” It’s really all she’s ever known besides the four walls of a prison cell.

“Fuck that!” Harley says. “Sweetie, we can’t in good conscience just let ya be homeless again.”

“Why?”

“You… you literally told me you got threatened with a knife yesterday, hun.”

“Oh well we’re not gonna go back there obviously.”

She’d been squatting at the old orphanage with a group of homeless teenagers and that had been working out fine for the last month. That is, until things turned violent when one of them got too high and had a bad trip.

She doesn’t argue this time when Harley insists that she needs to be off the streets and that she thinks there’s a few units available in their building.

-------------

Cleo trails behind the couple as they make their way down to the leasing office. Her heart is pounding and she’s trying to keep her breakfast down. She already knows she can’t afford a place in this building—she doesn’t even have a job. She’s been resorting to petty theft to stay afloat but hasn’t tried anything big like a bank robbery again. The last thing she wants is to get thrown in jail again.

The property manager—a balding man in an ill-fitting suit—eyes the three of them as they approach. Cleo hangs back in the corner while Colonel Flag and Harley stand there imposingly.

“So, here’s the deal,” Harley begins. “Our friend Cleo here is lookin’ for a place to live. Got any openings?”

He snorts. “Sure, but I highly doubt she can afford them.”

She can feel her face heating. He’s certainly not wrong. She clutches Sebastian tighter, who squeaks at her soothingly.

“How much?”

“Fifteen hundred.”

“Nah, that ain’t gonna work. Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna rent a place to her for three hundred a month, no more than that.”

“Do you know how much money I’d lose if I did that? I’m already renting to you two assholes practically for free!”

“Ya say that like I’m supposed to give a shit. Listen, we’re the reason you don’t have more supervillains crawlin’ all over this place but if that won’t persuade you, I got a baseball bat with your name on it.”

The property manager pales and manages to stammer out, “Ah, I think I do actually have a unit. But, uh, it won’t be available ‘til next month.”

“Perfect!” Harley chirps. She turns to Cleo and throws her arm around her shoulders. “Looks like you’re stayin’ with us for a couple weeks!”

As they’re leaving the property manager’s office, Harley remarks, “Ya know, I think that License to Kill shirt I got ya for your birthday really helped our case.”

Colonel Flag sighs and says, “Harls, we really need to do laundry.”

“Not it!”

The couple continues to bicker about whose turn it is to do laundry as they make their way back to the apartment.

“I could do it,” Cleo pipes up from behind them. It’s the least she can do to thank them.

They immediately stop arguing and turn to look back at her. In unison, they say, “Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Harley elaborates, “You’re our guest, hun. We’re not gonna make ya do chores. Especially because it’s his turn to do laundry!”

Colonel Flag pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “Harls, we’ve been over this. I gave you a break last week because you were hungover. It’s your turn!”

“Most of it is your laundry anyway!” Harley whines.

“Because you keep stealing my shirts!”

“… Okay, ya got me there.”

------------------

Cleo wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she knocked on Colonel Flag’s door. She wasn’t entirely surprised to see him living with Harley Quinn, after their epic love confession in the ruins of Jotunheim. What she was surprised to see was just how domestic the couple’s life had become.

Over the next few weeks she listens to them bicker like an old married couple about some of the stupidest things but she also sees the way Harley comes up behind Colonel Flag for a hug every night while he cooks dinner, and how she’s always making sure he’s taken his meds at bedtime, and the way he carries Harley to the couch when she’s complaining of cramps and just wants to lay on the couch and eat raw cookie dough all day.

He’s even carried Cleo to the couch once when she embarrassingly fell asleep at the breakfast table—she really doesn’t function well early in the morning.

She’d woken up with her head on Harley’s lap and the TV volume on low.

“Mornin’, sweetie! Sleep well?” she’d chirped, just as Colonel Flag was carrying her abandoned breakfast plate over to the coffee table.

Having been homeless or in prison her whole life, she essentially needs a crash course in being a functioning adult in society. She’s never opened up a bank account, learned how to cook, or had a job.

The first order of business is opening up a bank account, which Harley helps her do. Ten thousand dollars magically appear in said bank account the next day and Cleo doesn’t question it. It’ll give her a nest egg to live off of until she figures out the whole job situation—if she even wants one, Harley comments. Being a criminal is a perfectly respectable career, in her opinion. Cleo needs to think on it.

While Harley is dragging her all over Gotham to various stores so she can buy things for her new apartment and clothes and other necessities, Sebastian is having the time of his life with Colonel Flag. It warms her heart to see them interact. Sebastian helps with the cooking and every Friday they watch football together.

“Baby, we’re gonna borrow the d-bag truck. Where’re the keys?”

“Stop calling it that,” Colonel Flag deadpans, without even taking his eyes off the TV. He rummages around in his pocket and tosses the keys over his shoulder, Harley catching them easily.

“Why do you call it a d-bag truck?” Cleo asks as they make their way to the building’s parking garage.

The car they stop in front of is a massive black pickup truck, and suddenly the moniker makes sense.

They come home from furniture shopping three hours later to find the boys sulking.

“Did your sportsball team win?” Harley asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sebastian squeaks indignantly in agreement.

It’s with a mixture of sadness and hope that she receives the keys to her new apartment on the first of the next month. This place has become home for her. She’s never felt safer or more cared for than she has in the last few weeks. She’ll miss watching movies on the couch with Harley and watching Colonel Flag and Sebastian cooking together. She’ll even miss the couple’s constant bickering about who’s responsible for doing laundry (somehow the answer always seems to be neither of them).

The sadness doesn’t last long though. She’s been moved in for two days when the couple shows up on her front doorstep, inviting her over for family dinner, as Harley puts it.

She ends up at their place every Tuesday and Saturday night for dinner going forward.