#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated
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bluebunnysart · 4 months ago
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
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untothebreach · 1 year ago
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When am I going to finally, truly be able to accept that I'm destine to be alone the rest of my life?
I have plenty of friends who swear off dating and then just... don't want to date. Happy singles. And whenever I date it's good for about a week and then I start getting wildly anxious, hating it, self-sabotaging, the works. It's clear that it's a) possible to live a happy single life, at least for a while, and be fulfilled in it, and b) I'm just not built for 'dating' in the modern age, so why can't I seem to get it through my thick skull that no one will want me, I will never be able to reciprocate those who do, and I'm meant to die alone no matter how much longing I might have in my aching heart? Why can't I just accept that I'm meant to be an eternal bachelor?
I guess it makes sense, given I was such a romantic child. Something in me broke, I think, at some point. Middle and early high school seems like the likely candidate - the bullying and the constant rejections, the being looked down on and constantly betrayed by romantic interests. But that's not enough to break someone. I mean, I had a nine month relationship in high school - I know I'm capable of at the bare minimum a juvenile puppy love relationship I make drag on too long and end up traumatizing myself with.
I just... can't accept that all that means dating and love will never happen for me again. Love and romance... are such a deep part of what I want for myself, but at the same time one of the few things I truly feel unworthy and incapable of truly feeling and giving to a partner. I'm so self-absorbed and self-centered, oblivious and dismissive, anxious and paranoid. I'm never going to be able to have a good relationship like the romantic notions in my head, and I've built up 'romance' to such an extreme that even if it does show up I'll simple toss it in the trash because I see myself as above it, looking for my romance novel prince charming and ending up alone because of that. It's better for me and for my partners if I stay single and alone, so really I'm doing the world a favor.
But I just.... I don't want to be alone. I want to have someone I know deeply and come home to and buy gifts for and go on trips with and gaze lovingly at and make treats for and get treats from and who can soothe me when I'm feeling anxious and who I can cheer on in their accomplishments... I wish I was *capable* of feeling that for someone. But I think....... I'm just fundamentally broken, somehow. Because I never think about other people. It's so obvious in everything I do, and I'm such a terrible awful bad person because of it, that I don't really think I'd deserve a good partner even if I was capable of having one in the first place.
Which frankly, I am, and that's the WORST part. I know people would look at me and want me. I know there are guys out there who would adore being with me, even being trans/queer/genderfluid, which is rare enough as it fucking is. But even with that, there are guys who would love me, who would look at me with awe and devotion and give me little gifts and check in on me and want to be around me all the time and talk to me all the time. I've done it. And somehow I hate it every single time. And I know I mistreat them, when I'm with them - I ignore them, get annoyed at their texts, don't reciprocate or give them enough attention, get too awkward about shows of affection and make them feel ignored and unappreciated. I
'm inherently bad for people.
So really it's... it's for the best if I don't date anyone. It's better for everyone that I stay alone forever. I'll be the supportive single best friend in the romantic dramas of my friends lives. I'll be the lone outlier they sometimes talk to who's too queer, too anxious, too autistic for love but gives good advice to others, who lives with two cats and a house of plants and a career and no one to be attached to, and who dies young at 54 of a heart attack because they overworked themselves, collapsed making dinner, and had no one there for them to call the ambulance and got eaten by their cats after they passed away.
So you know. Goals, I guess.
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funkymbtifiction · 2 years ago
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Hi again! Last time I asked smth (pretty recently), you typed me as ISTP 9w8. But I wcrually wanted to give you more info, and maybe get you insight on a possible type? When I was younger - ages 13-15 - I was typed as ENFP 2w3 (tritype 269/279). However, since it's been a few years and I've matured a bit (plus I, admittedly, struggle to trust my own judgement and I've drifted away from the group that typed me) I was hoping for some insight? <- this would suggest a strong 6w7 influence more than 2
[...] -This wasn't actually the first point that came to mind, but it feels the most important because it feels like it might be Fi-leaning? That would be that when it comes to self-representation in any form (writing, art), I don't like half-assing it. I mean, occasionally I'll add little flares to characters that are meant to represent "me", but even then, they're frequently just "exaggerations" of traits I gave. (i.e., a character I made who is a performer for her community - I'm nowhere near that, I've never performed on a stage. [...] <- do you self-insert into all your stories? Sometimes that is Fi, but I also know an ISTP who has to identify with all her characters.
I also often put said characters in life circumstances similar to my own, giving them similar backstories, etc <- this could indicate some Si (drawing upon my own life for storytelling)
-I struggle a lot with "organization" and "cleanliness" in general, mostly because as long as my environment is littered with actual dirt or trash I don't see much of point to intense organization. If I can find what I need at some point (even if I find a bit later than expected), it's fine. However, in those rare moments I work up the sudden motivation to rework things (usually when I'm putting something off or can't find smth better to do), I take great pride in it. But it's small things, like my room, doing menial chores on time, or just other small things other people (esp. my mom) seem really good with naturally. <- this could indicate low/or inferior Te (I neglect this and don't care, but it makes me feel proud to do it sometimes)
I also, to be blunt, don't see many of the Te leadership qualities in myself, as I don't enjoy bossing people around without reason. <- bluntness can be either high T or low T. This also rules out core 2 for you, since 2s know how other people "should" be doing things and are quite forceful in inserting themselves into their lives.
Maybe also low sp? <- maybe, yes
-Said reasons usually pertain to feeling attacked or overwhelmed. I consider myself rejection-sensitive, so sometimes it's from feeling unwanted or uneasy about "being liked" (despite believing a very "f-ck you haters" attitude, and also believing if what someone does/believes doesn't hurt people, we shouldn't judge them for those things). <- this sounds like attachment, so it may be more evidence for 6. (caring a ton about whether people like you, and adopting a f-ck off attitude as compensation for insecurities). But yes, "if what they are doing doesn't hurt people, it's none of my business" indicates high Fi.
-I have, what I've come to realize, is a notable dislike towards pessimistic attitudes towards humanity and the future (whilst also having strange feelings about individuals). Like, as a collective, I crave for progress, the betterment, and overall happiness of humanity - and I find it extremely annoying when people say things like "people can't/don't change". We can change, everyone can! And we'll some people won't, that doesn't mean you should discard the collective. <- this is honestly your best argument for NFP. Idealism, anger at "reality," annoyance at negativity, others' refusal to believe others can grow and change and improve themselves.
However, in the same vein, I...struggle to really connect with individuals, at least when emotions aren't involved. And don't misunderstand - I've realized that I felt so conflicted because despite feeling a disconnect, I still found myself enjoying talking to and discussing things with people I barely know - I can be friendly. But where a lot of people would consider that friendship, I don't - at least, not fully. I feel like to truly be friends with someone, you need an emotional bond. Or at least, that's what I find most comfortable. <- a strong social instinct within the Enneagram type / feeler stuff.
-A lot of my general interests are more abstract/spiritual in nature. Spiritual topics (astrology, numerology, tarot), typology, psychology - however, obviously sensing people can have these interests. So I wanted more perspective - I enjoy these things because they not only help give me a sense of identity (selfish, I know, but I like labeling myself - it helps me feel like I "know" myself), but also make it easier for me to "get" people. I feel like it's easiest for me to connect with people when I'm talking about these topics (once I work up the courage too, anyway >//>). I also just enjoy knowing how these things affect people's worldview and reality, as I want to understand as many people as I can as I want to be respectful. <- general N interests, yeah.
-I have mixed feelings towards change and the future in general. On one hand, I crave positive change, like seeing others and myself improve, and eagerly await a good future. <- strong N
However (due to a LOT of external factors), I also have great anxiety - worrying I won't make it. Generally, I avoid thinking about the future for this reason - this especially applies to things like higher education. I hate the question "so what about college?" because I don't wanna say "I don't wanna go". I'd love to go! But that's so much money and so much time paying it off, that it doesn't seem worth it, because then I'll be stuck in debt. Things like that give me anxiety, yknow? Practical matters is where I've felt insecure for a while. <- this isn't sp-blindness, but it could prove low/inferior Si, yes.
-I feel like I'm very odd socially. Like, I know I said I'm an introvert, but I really, really enjoy socializing. At least, in the goofy, fun way. When I can just hyperactive, over-the-top, and generally just go "off the rails" is when I'm happiest socially. I love saying off-the-walls stuff, making silly noises and confusing people (all in good fun!) Teasing and being mean is practically a love language. Of course, this demeanor is also a part of a big insecurity too, though - that I'm too much to handle. I seem to flip between trying to make myself trying to be nice, palatable, and polite and then back to over-the-top, excitable, and quirky/intense. At times, the former will end up turning into intense hurt when I feel ignored/like people don't care (rejection sensitivity).
This sounds like ENFP 6w7 with a strong 7 wing (fun, loud, humor, draw attention > insecurity, am I too loud?, I need to be nice!).
-I feel in general I might be SP-blind? The most recent example is when I waited a week to go to the doctor's for a pain I kept having because I was nervous about going in and just wanted it to "go away on it's own", but I'm also just not the best with daily tasks and "self-care". I don't really keep track of important things - like my monthly cycle, last time I showered, what I eat in a day - but moreover, I just have a poor relationship with my boundaries. I only recently (upon request of my partner, past few months) have been trying to get more in-touch with my boundaries. Part of it for me is that I don't know where a lot of my boundaries are, and that in general I only know something makes me uncomfortable once it happens a lot of the time. <- I would say so/sp and inferior Si. The latter stuff is very common in ENPs (neglect of their physical body, of remembering stuff, etc) with or without strong sp. Only knowing if something makes you uncomfortable once it happens is Ne over Fi.
ENFP 6w7 / 692 so/sp, IMO.
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maplecornia · 3 years ago
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chapter 25
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𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.19K
𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?
𝔞/𝔫: idk about you, but i really like this chapter, i think it's super FLUFFY
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language
tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo
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"You're an idiot."
"How was I supposed to know it was that high?! You're lucky I didn't drop your cake."
You smile, you can't help it. Spending the day with him wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. The time at the cafe was enjoyable, even when he decided it was a smart idea to try and climb on top of a wall, you found yourself content and happy.
It was definitely better than being alone.
"If you did, you wouldn't be standing." You mutter, trying to keep your voice smooth and calm. He lets out a soft gasp, turning to you in mock fear.
"You're scary."
"Maybe." You purse your lips, but can't keep the sly grin from spreading on your face.
When he asked you to spend time with him, you didn't imagine that it would be this fun. He took you to a cafe, and as soon as you started talking it was as though the two of you had known each other for years. Glancing over at him, you study his features just like you did the first time you saw him across the hall.
He's the type of person you feel comfortable with, someone you can rely on.
"You know what I just realized?" he says, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk. You turn to him, raising your brow.
"What?" You ponder when he doesn't finish his thought right away.
"We never introduced ourselves." You chuckle as he runs up to you before holding out his hand. Looking at it with a skeptical look, you hesitate before taking it.
"My name is Hwang Sunoh, it's a pleasure to meet you, madam."
You smirk, shaking your head at his overdramatized accent.
"I'm Yen Lin...well I suppose here you'd call it like, Lin Yen." You respond and can't help but smile at his giddy grin.
"It's nice to meet you."
Hwang Sunoh.
It's surprising how just yesterday, he was someone who had dampened your day. Now, he's able to bring a smile on your face without hardly lifting a finger. You can't help but feel a bit free. When you're around people like him, things just seem so easy. It's hard for you to remember that there was a time when you didn't feel this way.
It's hard for you to realize that the world can be cold.
Releasing him, you turn to start on your path home but freeze.
Your heart begins pounding, your palms turning cold as you notice the figure standing in front of your apartment complex. Shocked, you step back a bit, trying to make out his facial features, but his back is to you.
"It can't be..." You murmur under your breath.
There's no chance it can be him, can it?
Memories of the day on the bridge. The moments where he held your hand. That faint crinkle to the sides of his eyes when he smiled...The body is the same, the hair has the same curl, his jawline holds the same flawless curve.
Sunoh looks from you to the stranger with curiosity.
"Do you know him?" he questions, peering into your face, but you don't answer. You can't answer. Your throat has gone dry and you find that it's hard for you to breathe.
What if it is him? What would you do then?
You never thought you'd see him again, but what happens if he found you?
Swallowing hard, you walk forward, but the figure turns around and you balk, freezing once more.
It's not him, but someone else.
Someone even more surprising.
"Tae?"
Once he catches sight of you, he rushes forward, pocketing his phone.
But why? Why is he here?
As he draws closer, you can see that his eyes are locked on you, that he doesn't pay much attention to anything else. His eyes are full of worry, and his brow is furrowed with resolution. For a moment, you forget about Sunoh standing next to you, you forget about everything else. Once more, it's only you and him.
His feet pounding as he reaches a stop next to you, he takes you by the shoulders and lowers his face so that he's eye to eye with you. Eyes wide, you blink at him, forgetting to breathe for a moment.
"Are you okay?!" Confused, you don't answer him at first. Taking that as a bad sign, he begins to examine you, looking up and down for any injury, any scar, anything to show that you had been hurt in some way. Pressing his hand to your forehead to check for a fever, he growls a bit in frustration. "You weren't answering your phone, do you know how worried I was?!"
Taehyung?
Worried about you?
Someone tell me I'm dreaming.
Stunned, all you can do is look at him, unable to move an inch. Sunoh, extremely confused, looks between you and Taehyung, trying to piece two and two together. For one, why is an idol fussing over you as though you were a lost kitten? For another, how did you know a member from the most renowned and respected group in Korea?
Smiling a bit to himself, he can't help but chuckle.
Yen, you're more impressive than I thought.
That small sound catches Taehyung's attention.
As soon as he realizes the two of you have company, he pulls away, his grip tightening on you almost protectively. He turns to Sunoh, his brow furrowing with foreign hostility. At the reaction, Sunoh steps back a little, chuckling nervously.
"Ah...hello?" he mumbles, but all Tae does is raise his eyebrow, unamused.
"Who is this?" he asks you, and you finally wake up, turning to your new friend. Eyes wide, Sunoh looks to you as though you are the only one who can save him.
"Oh, he's my friend." You answer for him, edging a bit closer to him so that Taehyung doesn't attack. Nodding to him, he smiles nervously and holds out his hand once more, introducing himself.
"I'm Hwang Sunoh, nice to meet you."
Taehyung doesn't say a thing, doesn't even take his hand. He looks at it as though it were a thing he found in the trash and regards Sunoh with an icy glare. Apprehensive, Sunoh chuckles weakly, and pulls back from him, rubbing his neck.
"Uhm...Sunoh, why don't you go on ahead? I'll get my things later, okay?" You say, offering him an escape and he takes it gratefully. Stepping back a bit, he bows to Taehyung before making a break for the complex. You chuckle a bit at his frantic flee before turning back to Taehyung.
He's not really looking at you, his gaze distant and almost respondent. Confused, you squirm underneath the uncomfortable silence, wondering what exactly he needs. Why he's here. Biting your bottom lip, you try to catch his eye, but he avoids it.
"What was that about?"
At your voice, he looks up, his eyes dark and unreadable. For a moment, you wonder if he's upset, and it makes you a bit frustrated. What is there to be upset about?
"Who is he?" he asks again, his voice deep and demanding. Biting the inside of your cheek in annoyance, you cross your arms. Just because he's having a bad day doesn't mean that he has to take it out on you.
"He's my neighbor..." Once you realize you're giving in to his tantrum, you shake your head. "Why does it matter? What's wrong?"
He looks at you with those eyes, causing you to lose your cool and almost squirm under his gaze. But you don't look away, what is there to be ashamed of? You didn't do anything wrong. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and brush past him.
If he's not going to say anything then there is no reason for you to stay.
Taehyung rolls his eyes at your stubbornness and grabs you by the arm, turning you around. You open your mouth, ready to say an angry retort, but with one fierce look, he shuts you up. Taking your hand, he pulls you behind him. You try to pull away, only managing to when he stops.
"Kim Taehyung, what the hell do you think you're doing?" You demand, but all he does is offer you a sideways glance before turning to the sunset.
"Look." He murmurs, and you narrow your eyes at him before obliging.
You let out a small gasp, finding it hard to breathe. How can you when met with beauty such as this? He smiles at your expression, his eyes tender and affectionate.
"I wanted to show you." He explains, even though he knows that you can hardly hear him.
He has taken you to the small overlook in front of your complex. It offers the two of you a beautiful scene of the sun setting on the Han River. It's almost as if the sea is swallowing it, melting it into a palette of oranges and reds almost as if it were the mere paints dripping from a canvas. Smiling, you step forward until you reach the bar that protects you from falling over the edge.
Turning to him, you regard him with curious eyes.
"You came here just to show me this?"
Blinking, he doesn't answer you at first. He doesn't know what to say. If he were to say the truth, that his mind was clouded and he needed to find a way to clear it. If he said that he wanted to see you because you were the only one who could free him from the voices that continue to tell him he's not enough. If he said that he came to remove you from his mind...
What would you do then? Would you still look at him the same? Or would he lose you all over again?
Clearing his throat, he tears his eyes away from you. Perhaps this way, it will be easier to lie.
"No, I came because I was worried." He mumbles. Noticing your confused expression, he sighs, running his hands through his wind-kept hair. "You weren't answering your phone."
For a moment, as the sun catches his face, you're distracted from the beauty nature has to offer you. Instead, you focus on him. A beauty that is impossible to describe in mere words. A beauty that is impossible to touch, impossible to keep, for fear that it would be lost as soon as you touched it. It's like the light. Though you may try to hold it in your fingertips, after a while, it slips away. It always slips away, it never stays.
He will never stay.
Swallowing the growing lump in your throat, you turn away. It hurts too much. In some ways, this is worse than when he was a country away. When he didn't know you existed. At least then, you knew that you had no chance of losing yourself to someone you'll never meet. But now...
Now he's so close, but he feels so far away.
Will it always be this way?
Will you always have that impenetrable wall between the two of you?
Where he will always be the idol, and you will always be the fan?
In the distance, you can spy the same bridge that you met him on. The same bridge where your world was changed. Turning to the man beside you now, you entertain the thought that he's the real man in the mask. Smiling at the notion, you chastise yourself. It can't be him.
After all, the universe can't be that kind.
"Taehyung?" you murmur, hoping he doesn't catch the thickness in your voice, or the lump threatening to break.
"Hm?" he responds absentmindedly, and you close your eyes at the sound of his voice behind you. If you wish hard enough, will the two of you be able to stand side by side as equals?
Or will he forever be that far?
"Why did you give me your number?"
The question catches him off guard, and he opens his eyes, turning to look at you. Though your back is to him, it's wracked with tension and unspoken words. Almost as though you were preparing to be let down.
Again.
He bites his bottom lip, trying to choose the best words to say to you. When he notices the way you clench and unclench your hands at the sound of silence, he smiles softly before stepping forward.
Standing close, mere inches away from you, he takes your hand gently in his fingertips. Before you have a chance to pull away, he brushes his lips lightly across your knuckles. Speechless, you find your heart constricting with unimaginable longing.
After a moment, he raises his eyes to yours, his lips still pressed against your skin. A sultry look, you find your breath shortening, your heartbeat fluttering an unheard tune. He smiles at your wide, innocent eyes before lowering your hand and using his to brush back your hair.
"Well, we're friends. Aren't we?" he responds, his hand resting on your cheek for a moment before he releases you and steps away.
Always a considerable distance apart.
From the moon and the star.
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𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: you know even though love alarm was the worst thing since tomatoes, i still couldn't help putting the characters in the story ;-;
chapter 26 here
check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters
check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content
check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics
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ninjasmart · 7 years ago
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Ninja, you really are a gem! You really are. I'll be dropping off for good soon. I think I figured out the main cause of some energy issues. My theory is that the more I increase my energy, the more certain viewers will be shut out and they don't want to be shut out hence all the draining. Not enough to cause major harm (except for 1 in particular), but enough to keep me from being able to move on. It's time for me to go and for the viewers to get a healthy hobby that isn't my personal life. 😃
I am so happy for you. Yes, that is correct. The more you dwell on someone else’s trolling or attachment to yourself, the more you lower your vibrations and feed them with your energy. They don’t steal your energy - you give it to them. 
If you practice low frequency thoughts and feelings like resentment, outrage, disgust, hate, superiority, etc. etc. you create holes or strengthen those holes in your aura. That attracts entities from the astral that can connect to you through those holes and here’s where it becomes interesting. Through practicing low vibration thoughts and feelings you strengthen that bond. You do that with blame, gossip, criticizing, etc.
You are an infinitely powerful cosmic being with a human experience. That is your nature. The only way you are not infinitely powerful is when you yourself decide to call yourself something else. The saying: you can be anything you want to be, is more true than you can imagine. One of the things that you can decide for yourself to be is weak and in fight and a victim (attacked by malicious others). The others don’t do anything onto us. We, through low vibrations, give them our energy. They don’t drain us, we don’t tend to the holes in our aura and let them in. 
I’ll give you an example. I have this GP. She’s a horrible person in my opinion. She treats her patients like lowlife trash, yelled at me the other day for questioning why I am with her for 15 years, been to her cabinet less than 5 times and in the end she could not even create a proper document for me to change my driver’s license. I was livid not only because I was right but because I was yelled at by a service professional who wanted to look right in front of their other patients (and most definitely verbally lashed out about me to the other patients). I was treated as garbage and this person receives subsidy for my being her patient. So, the day after my phone (not even in person) questioning of the quality of work of this GP I was nasty to the lady at the supermarket. The day of the phone call I was nasty to the lady at the DMV, then at the department store, at the restaurant there was no “chance” to be nasty as all people were pretty nice to me and treating me like a human being with dignity. From the very first day when the phone call happened I started working on my vibrations and to pay attention what happens next. On the third day of the phone call I woke up and ran the whole situation through my head one more time. The extreme irritation at situations that could have gone differently if I was in a different state was bizzare. The good thing was that I was no longer feeling the attachment of that GP to my aura, I was no longer feeling the connection. (Thank you all saints and Archangel Michael for coming to my aid so quickly). 
The next thing I did was to see where the “hole” in my aura is or in other words what in my behavior, in my personality attracted this attachment. I have no hopes for this woman, the GP. She is who she is and if she can’t get energy from me, she’ll get it from someone else. She’s been practicing this her whole life. Can’t change, save or punish her, not should I feel invalidated, outraged, irritated or uncomfortable. Saving, punishing, feeling like a victim - that’s just the grand entrance to the drama triangle and the more drama the less peace and happiness. So, no on playing it victim, savior or persecutor. Again, she’s been practicing being energy succubus her whole life. I can go into battle with her and loose even more energy or I can do something else. 
And this is the something else I did. I looked at what in me allowed for this attachment and the out of proportion reactions the same and next day gave me the clue. I was brought up to be a good girl and if someone treats me disrespectfully that it is the right thing to not do anything. I’m sure there are others here who had a monstrous teacher at school to picked on them and they were told to do nothing. For me that was the hole that had to be patched up - when someone is clearly out of line in their behavior I’ve kept quiet in the past or, as experienced recently, retaliated into fighting back to undo the wrong thing. To me the resolution from this situation is to say no to being treated badly. Saying no in my case means to distance myself from this person. That means taking administrative action: change the GP and make a formal complaint so that others know too. Being nice, or a good girl, doesn’t have to mean an open invitation to putting up with someone else’s demons. 
Going back to you, I’d suggest to look for the hole in your aura and make a firm decision to fix it and then to start letting go of habitual behaviors that keep your vibrations on the lower astral where you can be attacked energetically by astral travelers, entities, demons, dark clouds which are the remnants of people who once walked on Earth but were so disconnected from Love, God, the Universe, that after dying they did not find the light and did not go to the light (for such clouds you are their source of light and they attach themselves to you through your energetic weaknesses). 
What do you do to keep your vibrations higher and higher?
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