#it looks unfinished because i've lost all interest in this work

[unyazik]

Dutch's Personal Hell

[urlocalboynoah]

Hi! May I request Ultra Magnus (tfp) having to watch Jack, Miko and Raf for a day, being forced to play a board game and to the surprise of everyone getting very invested in it?

☆彡彡 ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ミミ☆

Hi !! I'd be more than happy to provide you with some content! AS MUCH AS I DISLIKE THIS BOT (joke, kinda, he's just old..) I think he's interesting to work with. So, here we go ! I apologize if this isn't perfect, it's my first time posting something I've wrote before. It'll be a small fic, let me know what you think of it !

¹ ❥ ☆ Mini Fic

² ♰ Transformers Prime

³ ˋˋ SFW ☆

Just one game !

“ Here is her guitar, her hairbrush, drawing book and all her drawing stuff. ”

Bulkhead pointed out each element as he spoke, making sure of Ultra Magnus following his exact directions. The ex-leader looked at the Wrecker confused, raising an eyebrow. He seemed to be wondering what could go so wrong with such tiny humans, and why the big bot felt so anxious at the idea of leaving Miko behind. He thought he was certainly being overdramatic.

“ that should be everything.. I need to go, they're gonna wait for me. ”

Bulkhead simply added before quickly waving Miko goodbye, transforming and entering the groundbridge, as Bumblebee and Arcee were already far ahead.

The bridge closed, and finally it was only him and the humans. He still wondered what so bad could happen for the three guardians to be worried. He looked over at them, sat on the couch, playing video games. They were relatively calm and still. The older bot thought now would be a great time to start working on some of his unfinished projects. The base was calm, the kids were entertained.

For now.

A loud, strident yelp came out from behind him. Startled, he looked over at the kids, instantly worried someone broke in. But no, it was just the Japanese girl, shouting at her friends because she lost the game. The commandant rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed.

“ Will you tone it down ? ”

He firmly asked, though it sounded more like an order. The young girl looked at him desperately, groaning.

“ THEY'RE CHEAATIIIIIING. I keep loosing, it's unfair. ”

“ In that case, you should switch games. ”

He stated, as if it was an evidence for him to move on from something that gets on your nerves. The girl stared at the bot, as if he said an absurdity, before she exclaimed.

“ YOU'RE A GENIUS !! let's play.. A board game!! What do you guys think ? ”

Jack shrugged and crossed his arms, apparently okay with the idea. The younger of them all jumped off of the couch, excited by Miko's proposal.

“ awesome idea ! Though, we miss a player. ”

Raf stated, his hands now on his chin, thinking.

It didn't take long for Jack to point at Ultra Magnus.

“ hey! Wanna join ? We'll teach you! ”

The leader looked perplex, not convinced at the idea of joining this “activity”. He stared for a moment, considering. It could be fun, after all, and give him a break from all the stress of battles.

“Very well. But only one game, I have to stay alert in case anything happens.”

The older boy nodded and signed him to get closer, which he did. The three humans started explaining to the bot the rules, to which he was surprisingly getting very interested in. They then got to the first game. Raf won, and, angry at himself, Ultra Magnus asked him some tips to get better.

“ how about we do a second round, then? ”

He proposed, to the happy surprise of the kids, that appeared to be pleased by the idea of the leader.

And then, they went on for hours.

The guardians came back several hours later, and, curious of the laughs and giggles they were hearing, snuck up on them.

They could not believe it. He was having a moment of genuine fun with the kids, that they all seemed to enjoy in it's fullest.

The three bots sighed in unison, relieved to see how well it went.

“Alright kids, it is getting late. Time for rest.”

The older bot announced, as he noticed the humans yawning. Without any signs of resistance, they hopped in his servos as he started walking to their room. He noticed Bumblebee, Arcee and Bulkhead here, to which he simply nodded without stopping. Once he made sure they were safe, he softly smiled.

“ I assume it went well..? ”

Arcee questioned, to which Ultra Magnus simply hummed.

“ we had a great time.”

He assured, a satisfied grin on his face.

. . . Written by Noah . . .ᐟ ☆

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #8 | 02.06.24

AHA! It's February (has been for a few days, but I've been a bit busy as per usual) so that means another Lost in Limbo devlog! We have been recovering from our wrap-up, working left and right, and oooh boy aren't things getting interesting. Let's jump into it, shall we?

First of all...

🎉🎊🎊THE DEMO CGS ARE DONE!🎉🎉🎊

Raquel has worked SO HARD to achieve this, and the results are simply amazing. We could never ask for a better artist, and we can't wait for you all to see and experience every CG for yourselves. Sadly, we made a promise of only showing Gael and Amon's, so you'll have to wait a bit more for the others! ; v ;

And next! You thought we were finished with the characters?! NOT BY A LONG SHOT! As you may remember, our demo script went through a few changes, but this secondary character remains! We don't want to talk about them too much, but we also wanted you to have a taste of them, as they'll be the first character you'll meet... 👀💜

Our plan is to finish this sprite and then move on to the character's expressions. We have to figure out the most efficient way to work on them, though!

The dreaded section—but THIS MONTH we come with a wonderful announcement...

✨🎆Airyn has joined the team!✨🎆

And you'll ask, who's Airyn?! Well, she's an amazing person we met during our master degree; we have been developing a friendship for a while now, and as we needed an extra hand with our backgrounds, Airyn offered us her help! She's an incredibly talented concept artist who loves working on backgrounds, and we are so so thankful for her help! We literally couldn't ask for a better professional to join us during our demo journey :')!

You can see some of Airyn's work on her ArtStation, here!

She has already started to work on our unfinished backgrounds, and so far we can offer you this fantastic WIP of one of the places you'll visit in the demo! 💜

But Astro is not far behind! He's getting our last background ready, and so far he's doing an impeccable job! We hope these mysterious places are piquing your curiosity, because we definitely can't wait for you to visit them!

I'm reaching page 100 of our script, having left behind a few things to correct! Only 40~ pages left, which means soon we'll make a second round of editing and correcting. Allie is almost done with their first editing process and that's very exciting! We can't honestly thank her enough for her incredible job 💜(I think I say this a bit too much, but we gotta be thankful on this team!)

The CG's have been programmed and they work so far! Now each character has a CG to be unlocked and seen in full HD, and each in their own gallery, hehe. Next I'll have to play around with the credits because I was having trouble with something last time I tried to get them done—but as always, I'll get it done one way or another!

This month we have worked hard! January has been a good start of the year I think. I hope we can speed things up a bit now that we have Airyn to help us with the backgrounds, and hopefully she'll be a permanent addition to the team if everything goes well! I don't want to jinx it, but I feel I can see the end of the tunnel little by little. Planning stuff, looking up different things, getting busier and busier...Let's see if February, even if short, proves to be a productive month!

Also, we hope you all have been taking care and the start of the year has been nice to you. There's so many amazing things happening in the indie otome community, so make sure to enjoy it all! 💜

[mpregjamesdiamond]

I READ THE ANGEL KAMES FIC …. ough 😭 such a shame it’s unfinished. the fact that all of that went on in the span of 5 days kinda blew my mind like you’re telling me 100k+ words and it hasn’t even been a week? this is the slowest burn to ever burn. anyways do you have anymore fic recs 🫶

HI HIIII im so glad you like it yessssss!!!!!! and literally the way they make you wait saur long for them to even like eachother in any capacity had me climbing the walls that night...... and the WINGS bro......bro what if i wanted you to keep me safe and warm in a cocoon of your own flesh forever.. haha i mean-

and i doooo :) i've been saving this ask because i wanted to do a thorough list from my laptop, but i'll rec some of my favorites so far right now, and maybe some i've been meaning to read, but haven't yet

i have read and rec:

We could take it to the highway by skyline

kendall has to go back to minnesota and james offers to travel with him through the states. REALLY nice i loved skyline's writing and depiction of the boys' inner struggles. very grounded to the show's pillars and their dynamic really hit with me. i rec this to everyone who will listen because i liked it a lot lol <3

How to stop a haunting also by skyline

supernatural universe kames baybayyy. honestly all of skyline's works are so worth it, i still have a few of theirs to read but i strongly recommend the author in general (i rec more fics of their below but there's way more, i don't want to make the list too long hehe)

Lost without you by mintrosy

ANOTHER instant fav author. the guys suffer a shipwreck and kendall gets badly hurt. and they have to cauterize the wound and so on. very nice and sweet despite that description i just gave skdjsh

mintrosy also has a kames omegaverse series, lost bets (porn lol, kendall in lacy and james going apeshit), Sharing is caring, Dude (short and sweet fic about the four of them sharing outfits <3). honestly they have a tonn of fics so you can go to their profile and go bananas

Never did run smooth by ItsyRoyal

the first btr fic i read this year i think? so it has a special place in my heart <3 pinning kendall and oblivious james, very in-canon

Patrón on ice by skyline

james/camille/kendall because jamille is my guilty pleasure lol. very funny, james has a date with two beauts and doesn't know what to do with himself.

now for fics i haven't read yet but intend to:

Sweet people by xAnimaniac (50k words)

Kendall is a lawyer, always determined to stick to business. And even after losing his husband three years ago, he's not looking for any kind of relationship. Then he meets his new client James, who is a druggie accused of murder, rude and flirty and absolutely everything Kendall never thought he'd be into. So why does he like him so much?

I tell you I'm lost here (awaiting reply) by jaded_jane (30k words)

Gustavo allows James a second attempt at an audition and offers to make him a star when he likes what he hears. James jumps at the chance, and once he's gone to L.A., Kendall's left to hold everything and everyone together. As days go by, Kendall forces James a little further back in his mind, especially as contact goes from limited to non-existent and promises aren't kept. It's only then that Kendall realizes that the people he loves, leave him and never look back.

It's so hard to breathe by skyline (11k words)

“So you let Dak Zevon fuck you,” James says, and this time he doesn’t bother amending his word choice. “Interesting decision.”

right now im rummaging through EpicallyObsessed's ffn page but haven't read anything yet. they have a looot of long kames fics, mostly AUs.

Same with RainbowDiamonds, the author of the angel kames fic in question <3

hope this helps!! if you want let me know if you end up reading any of these ♥️

[genuineformality]

Some SoC Kanej recs for @tlonista because I kept hitting the comment character limit on the post where we were talking about this and am now just putting them into a single place. (This also would have gone faster if I hadn't stopped to read every time I grabbed a link out of my bookmarks and lost the comment on the small internet.)

Incredible Prose, set in more or less canonverse:

a tall ship, and a star to steer her by, by @whatanybodygets (whitherward on ao3): Gorgeous prose and complicated emotions. Inej goes to sea and it's everything she wants and nothing like she expects.

roomy, and drenched in sunlight, also by @whatanybodygets. Inej and Kaz have a baby, but this isn't your niece's babyfic. Complicated, ugly, beautiful, these two fucking morons cannot talk to each other to save their lives.

Stories About Crows, by @marycontraire: A series that is by turns fun, touching, silly, heartbreaking, and realistic. Mary understands the importance of water rights and has a brilliant mind for looking at the shit that Leigh Bardugo made up and taking it to its logical conclusion. Top notch worldbuilding, fab writing.

Service Work, by @linearao3: LinearA's filthy (affectionate), kinky, and gorgeous series, in which she tricks her readers into caring deeply about her beautifully researched fake linguistics. Come for the porn, stay for the fake linguistics and gorgeous prose.

Alternate Universes: I don't know why I find these characters so compelling in AUs, which are not typically my thing, but in looking over my bookmarks, I have a ton of them saved.

save the undone years, by @whatanybodygets (again): Look, just read everything whitherward's written. But this is a WWI battlefield hospital AU and it just hits. It's honestly one of the best things I've read in the fandom.

Murder Ballad and Child Ballad, @linearao3: LinearA's filthy and touching a/b/o series, in which she looked at all of the most interesting parts of a/b/o dynamics, stuck it in the Grishaverse, and world-built like her life depended on it. Want to know what the economics of Ketterdam might look like in between the breeding kink? She's got you covered.

Latte Art, by @pyrrhlc: A coffee shop AU with teeth and one of the few written by someone with barista experience (Kaz spends a shocking, but realistic amount of time doing inventory). The whole series is fun, surprisingly high stakes in places, and one of my favorite modern AUs.

The Four Seasons, by @totchipanda: Slooooooow burn fake dating modern AU done well. Unfinished, but I happen to know that Totchi is still actively working on it. It's by turns a fun romp and an interesting take on modern AUs.

all these hours between us, by CoralAcacia: A college hacker AU, single chapter, but I return to this embarrassingly often. It's well written and nicely poignant in the insane pining.

@capinejghafa is also doing an author rec series here on tumblr where she's making gifs of faves along with posts, and honestly, what a delight that is.

[coralpolyp]

I'm not dead!

Hey look here's a redraw of the really terrible bit of digital art I did for last year's Mar13 day as proof! Apparently I didn't even finish the first one on time! Yikes!

I'm well aware that it's been a minute or two since I last posted anything on here or on AO3 - to be more precise, it's been since Splatoon 1 died and I wrote that 8000 word depressing thing - I don't know why 8000 words always seems to be my sweet spot, but it's good to know that I have one. That being said, and with Side Order: Dark Side Mix currently MIA, I thought it'd be a good idea to to have what it is that I'm doing right now on-record in some capacity, for the one or two people who were wondering.

The next few weeks are exam season, so I don't think it's going to be smooth sailing per se, but Dark Side Mix will be completed. After running into a snag with the opening act - namely with the fact that it sucks - I started reworking the entire fic from top to bottom under a new name...and then I lost motivation to do that because perfectionism set in, and I haven't really touched it in a little while.

In the time that I've been away from it, I feel like I've become increasingly aware of how that perfectionism negatively effects me and my work - namely the fact that very little of it actually exists. I mean, sure, people seem to like the stuff that does exist, but there isn't much, and a lot of things are unfinished - usually because I placed too much value on the potential of "the idea", and spent so long labouring over the start of it that by the 10,000 word mark I had realised the flaws of the idea and lost interest in it.

I can't help thinking that's a bit lame. Every other writer has 100s and thousands of words of terrible amateur works they can go back to and laugh at, before they created the masterpieces they're known for now, and my story is that I just kinda show up every once in a while.

I think there's a real beauty to that - creating for the sake of creation, with no fucks given. Maybe this isn't the finest example, but I finally started listening to My Dad Wrote a Porno recently and...I mean... the sheer lack of fucks given is well and truly a gift that keeps on giving. Same goes for Philosophy of the World. Or SMG4 back in like 2014. Or old Eddsworld stuff. There's just a certain carefree joy (or existential dread in the case of the Shaggs) to it all that you never get anywhere else. It's like the difference between a 30 second gesture drawing and 6 hours of carefully-deliberated-over anatomy.

All that is to say - Dark Side Mix is a fundamentally flawed story. It is not high art, it never will be. I should probably just get it out there in it's entirety for the world to see in the time I have available to write, and then move on to the next "brilliant-idea"-that's-actually-just-ok. Nobody likes an "idea guy" - what good is it to spend one's entire life going around saying "I never finished this story, but it was great in my head, and the bit that you can actually read was alright too,"? Creativity should be about getting in there, making a mess, and having fun - let fanfiction be fanfiction, with that being addressed to nobody but myself, because nobody else needed to hear it.

Oh, also, another reason for my absence besides creative block and exams - I'm getting into comics! That, and practising my art fundamentals a whole bunch - I don't think my drawabox is particularly interesting to look at, so I haven't exactly been posting it. I've decided that I want to try giving an idea I had for what would've been another depressing Squid Sister 8000-worder the comic treatment, although you shouldn't expect to see that anytime soon, considering how long it's gonna take, and the fact that I would want to release something like that in no more than two parts.

[isfjmel-phleg]

October 2024 Books

Flower Fables by Louisa May Alcott

Alcott's first published book. Rather didactic little fairy stories, but charming in their way.

Hospital Sketches by Louisa May Alcott

A memoir of her time as a nurse during the Civil War. Not a very long book, but it showcases her skill in humor and pathos.

Foundling by D. M. Cornish

Very impressive world-building! Maps, illustrations, a glossary that adds another hundred or so to the page count. In the midst of all this, the story and characters got a bit lost for me, though, and I had a hard time keeping up with it.

The Watsons Go to Birmingham - 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis

Like the eponymous family, I went to Birmingham earlier this year and had a moving experience touring the 16th Street Baptist Church and the park across the street. So I went into this book expecting a historical fiction explorations of the events of 1963. And yes, it does deal with that; it's thematically important, but most of the book is about Watson family drama, particularly the narrator's relationship with his determinedly delinquent older brother, and it's quite some time before going to Birmingham even happens. The family dynamics are the heart of the story, and it accomplishes that well. It was just very different from my expectations (which is an observation, not a criticism).

Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis

This one hit home emotionally for me more than the previous title. I can see why it won the Newbery. The balance of Bud's tragic circumstances with humor throughout is effective.

The Sky Over Rebecca by Matthew Fox

A beautiful story that made me sad. It's looking for answers to issues of death, but tragically the worldview can't find them. It's a lovely friendship story, though.

The Ghost Sitter by Peni R. Griffin

Told from the perspective of a young ghost who doesn't realize she's dead and has some unfinished business to address before she can move on. Not my favorite of Griffin's works that I've read, but a poignant little story if you can look at it as an exploration of the role of the ghost in folklore.

Otto from Otherwhere by Peni R. Griffin

Very different from the previous title, about a boy from an alient planet who gets stuck on earth for a while and has to try to assimilate--which is difficult because he doesn't speak English and he doesn't entirely look human. Maybe not the most original premise, but an interesting story.

The Deadly Daylight by Ash Harrier

I spent a lot of this book waiting for the girl with the on-the-nose name and the potentially fatal sunlight allergy to find out that she instead has light-based superpowers that were being suppressed her whole life...but this is not that sort of story.

It's a mystery. A pretty striking one, with memorable characters. There was a content issue that I could have lived without, but on the whole an enjoyable book, and I would be interested in reading the rest of the series if they ever become available in the US.

Patricia's Secret by Ruth Daggett Leinhauser

I think I added this book to my tbr because it's about a girl living on an air force base in the 1950s, and as someone who grew up on base for most of my childhood, I was curious to see a fictional depiction of military family life from several decades before my time. There's some dated attitudes (toward girls, which is era-typical), but it's a cute story.

The Secret of Goldenrod by Jane O'Reilly

Girl makes friends with a talking/sentient doll she meets in the spooky abandoned old house that her father is fixing up, and actually maybe the biggest plot twist is that this is not a scenario for a horror story, the doll is not evil, and it's actually a whimsical fantasy interwoven with a more dramatic story about family dynamics and how a hostile town gets a change of heart.

The Patron Saint of Second Chances by Christine Simon

A Wodehouse-like scenario of deceptive/misunderstanding shenanigans, but told in a much blander style than Wodehouse's. The humor of the story would have shone more with some livelier prose.

The Lost Library by Rebecca Stead and Wendy Mass

A very charming story that took me by surprise sometimes! I think I could tell which chapters Mass must have written--something intangible that reminded me of her style in The Candymakers.

Rufus by Catherine Storr

A weird, weird story about a troubled boy who steals an artifict that somehow enables him to alternate between his own present and ancient times, which is a character development opportunity. Not my favorite of Storr's, and I'm not totally sure what I think of.

The If Game by Catherine Storr

A boy whose emotionally distant father is keeping important family secrets from him suddenly finds himself able to walk through doors that lead him into an alternate version of his life. The fantastical elements serve the main story, which is about the protagonist's complicated relationship with his father. It definitely intrigued me.

The Underground Conspiracy by Catherine Storr

I as an adult could tell exactly what the teenage protagonist is getting roped into, long before she realizes it, and it was worrying. Sort of a mystery or thriller? As ever, Storr writes interesting character dynamic.

The Mirror Image Ghost by Catherine Storr

Less of a ghost story and more of a time-slip story. There's family drama in the main storyline, connecting with the story of the grandfather, who managed to escape Germany during WWII although the rest of his family didn't. There's a lot to unpack in that background, and Storr isn't afraid to opt for the more complex and challenging options in the outcome of the narrative.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud

Stroud's prose is as ever beautifully polished. I enjoyed Bartimaeus as a narrator, with all those footnotes. I just couldn't get into the story, so I don't think I'll be finishing this series.

The Necromancer's Apprentice by Beverly Twomey

A charming story exploring themes of grief, with a very creative approach to what a necromancer does in this fictional world.

Artificial Condition by Martha Wells (reread)

I love Murderbot but I really struggle to adapt to the terminology of technical sci-fi, which presented some challenges when I first read this series. This time, I am deliberately taking it very slowly and carefully, without having to worry about due dates. I understood this one much better this time around! and enjoyed it.

The Locked Garden by Gloria Whelan

I am not immune to intriguing-looking middle-grade books with "Garden" in the title. This turned out to be interesting historical fiction set at a hospital for patients of mental illness around the turn of century, but the garden of the title is much less central to the narrative than its presence in the title would suggest. I appreciated that Whelan had every opportunity for a cliched outcome but does not take it.

Comics

Hilda and the Troll, Hilda and the Midnight Giant, Hilda and the Bird Parade, Hilda and the Black Hound, Hilda and the Stone Forest, and Hilda and the Mountain King (reread)

I had a random hankering for this series. It's suitable for fall.

Justice Society of America 2007 Vol. 3-4

The overabundance of characters continues to be this book's primary flaw. There's never enough space to adequately develop character arcs for everyone. Grant (the reason I'm reading this) gets a moment in the spotlight when his severely scarred face is restored...by a villain, which results in Grant's joining this guy's cult and developing Acquired Situational Narcissism. Potentially interesting stuff, but it's not followed through on. By the end he's back to square one, except with a girlfriend now. No further exploration of the consequences of his destroying his father's house, for instance. Going to leave everything to nonexistent fic writers, I guess.

The Flash #750 (special edition)

I have no context for what was going on in the main story, but the various short pieces were fun, as was the reprint of Barry's first appearance in the 1950s.

JSA Vol. 10

Someday I'll get the full context for this series, but I bought this volume for its story involving flashbacks to the original JSA team, including Grant's father.

Justice Society of America, Vol. 1: The New Golden Age + issues #6-12

Twelve issues was not enough space to develop everything that was going on in this series, and honestly I was more interested in the Lost Children angle than I was the main plot about the daughter of Batman from an alternate world. (I love the batfamily, but they don't need to be in the JSA book, let alone half-taking it over.)

[noctuarie]

hi! magical girl related ask here

do you know of anyone whose concept feels mostly like a "known" one but different? my concept is very much like puella magi at its root but with some differences. i feel pretty lost and confused and -- most difficult of all -- struggling with recognizing my experiences as real/valid. any advice and thoughts would help. thank you very much!!

⭐ )　messages from the stars　ᵎᵎ

hello, anon !

sorry, this is a really lengthy reply but i hope it somehow manages to help ♡ first off, i'd like to mention that everyone's experiences as magical girls vary from each other's. there's no need to conform to any pre-existing concepts in order to feel valid, and if anyone says that there are limitations as to what a concept should be, then they are wrong. there are no right or wrong concepts, and there definitely is not a right or wrong way to be a magical girl.

i'm a firm believer that if there's something that you created, then you'll develop and feel a strong connection to it — if it resonates, then good, that is what matters. this doesn't just apply to magical girl concepts because the same can be said for self-made tools for divination and witchcraft and for artworks created in one's own art style. it is great to have something you can call your own.

as for your question about people who are in a similar situation to you, i think i'll be a good example. my concept is derived from numerous concepts and took inspiration from different sources, from already existing magical girl concepts to the video games and other works of fiction that i've hyperfixated on. my concept's magical system has qualities that are present in puella magi and cardcaptor sakura, but it still is distinct and independent just like any other concept, as distinct and independent as yours and anyone else's. if this helps, i've received good results from my own concepts.

there are also people on the mahou planet server who have their own original concepts; some feel similar to concepts that came from already existing media, meanwhile some were created from scratch with the support of creativity, imagination, and resourcefulness. there are those who have concepts like puella magi but have adjusted it to their ideals, which is actually possible!

to help with recognizing your own experiences as real and valid, i suggest that you mingle and get to know your concept furthermore. what you do is up to you, but here are some of my suggestions.

suggestions

— divination readings about things you don't know yet about your own concept, and watch as innumerable surprises unfold!

— music playlists that can get you in the mood for practicing magic, or it can be filled with songs that help you connect more to your concept.

— flesh out your concept if it is unfinished; feel free to add more qualities to it that you think will make sense, and it doesn't matter where those additional features came from. if there's something interesting about a magical system that you liked from fiction, it is definitely okay to take inspiration from it and adapt it into your own.

— document any of your magical progress and things related to your concept. if something happens that is connected to your concept, jot it down whether on a physical journal or digital journal. if doubts were to arise in regards to the validity of your experiences, then look back into your journey.

good luck with your magical journey!

( june 16, 2024 | sunday )

[shina913]

Flowerworks | KNJ

Flowerworks

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (SFW)

Genre: Exes; pure angst; fluff

Warnings: a lot of angst; pining; meet-cute; suggestive language; missed opportunities; vague infidelity

Word count: 4,241 words

Summary: “The love you had in your past...unfinished, untested, lost love...seems so easy, so childish to those who chose to settle down. But it’s actually the purest, most concentrated stuff.”

A/N: This story was inspired by an anthology series that I had binged while I had Covid back in January this year. For a while, I've been wanting to do a rendition of that but I wasn't sure which member to 'cast.' But Indigo has such a great inspiration so I've revisited this draft and thought Namjoon would be the perfect angsty main character here. Also, Kelly Price's rendition of As We Lay was a good inspo for this as well, except it's got none of the spicy stuff and you're left with all angst!

A/N2: I've never been to the UK or Europe 🤡 so a lot of this is just talking out of my ass hoping it would make for an interesting backdrop. I apologize for any geographical inaccuracies. This isn't the first time I've mentioned Juan Luna in my fics--I just thought, wouldn't it be cool if Namjoon studied Filipino impressionists🤪. Anyway, hope the story still lands! 💙

“Thank you so much for the presentation, Dr. YLN. It was so refreshing to hear a new take on a subject that’s so rarely…uhm, what’s the word…”

“Discussed? Thought of?” You finish their sentence for them. You smile warmly at a young journalist who was covering your lecture as part of a feature piece they were doing for a magazine. After the program ended, they decided to come up for a side conversation.

“Yes, that’s right,” the journalist says. “Your perspective is so fascinating to me. I mean–when we were in grade school, these lessons were just so repetitive and boring. It’s practically a bird course,” they chuckled.

“Right, because you’re supposed to just fly right through it?” You joked. You, too, had that impression when you were much younger. 

“Your research style is so much more interesting. I was elated to find out that you’re the historical consultant on that ‘Ilustrados’ series!”

You tried your best to stay humble but deep down, you were still pinching yourself about getting to work with a major studio and top-tier production team. “I saw it as a great opportunity for us history and literature majors to flex a little, you know?” Then you caught yourself and laughed. “Oh my god, that sounded so nerdy,” you flushed.

“Not at all! Don’t be too modest,” they giggled. “I think it’s great that we get to give stories like this a new angle.”

You smiled and mouthed your thanks.

“I’m curious, do you remember what or who inspired you to pursue history as one of your fields of expertise?”

You grew flustered then blew out a quick breath. “Wow, uhm…nobody’s ever asked me that!”

“I don’t have to include it,” the journalist adds.

Your brows furrowed. “Include what?”

“That story that’s written all over your face,” they say with a knowing look.

“Oh, well…I think I’ve always been on track to study literature in some shape or form. That was my chosen major in college. Pursuing a career in history, however…was a happy accident,” you recall fondly.

They smiled excitedly. “Please tell me more,” they urged.

You stifle a grin. It was one of, if not the most unforgettable time in your life. If you could ever capture lightning in a bottle–that was the moment to do it.

You began, “He was an art history major spending a year in France while I was a language and literature major spending a semester in London. I met him while on holiday at a cafe in Paris–” 

“Hang on! I think I’ve heard this story before!” They interject.

You give them a confused look. Up until this moment, you’ve only spoken about him to your former flatmate and a couple of close friends. “Y-you have?” You ask slowly.

They let out a soft chuckle. “I’m sorry, I’m kidding! Is that real?”

You laughed. “Yes, yes it is!”

“You know, most people are like–we met in college, lost touch for a while, then ran into each other on the street years later and had coffee.”

“Well…it does sound like quite the Hallmark movie plot, huh? The place we were at was certainly the perfect backdrop for it,” you smiled at the memory. ���But, as unbelievable as it sounds, if it weren’t for him sparking my…” You cleared your throat, “...Enthusiasm in the subject and history in general–I wouldn’t be in this position today.”

It was indeed a serendipitous time in Paris, which began as a casual encounter over drinks, then eventually led to hours of exploring historic art districts with him. The day trips around the city certainly brought your interest in history to a whole different level.

“W-what happened to him?”

You shrug your shoulders. “After my break, I had to return to London. He wanted to come with me but he had some travel commitments with his fellow students. We agreed to meet at my place but–it just…didn’t work out for some reason.”

The journalist listened intently, indulging you in your story.

“I don’t know what happened. I thought we had a great connection. I mean, wasn’t that as perfect an opening to a relationship that you can get? Back then, I would go back and forth trying to think about how different it felt for me than it did for him.” 

For a moment, you felt yourself slip again. But as you had done for the past several years, you smiled and shook your head to brush the memory aside to lock it away. Then, at your most vulnerable, you can unpack it again. You wave them off, “Anyway, that was such a long time ago, though!”

“How long?” They ask curiously.

“10 years,” another voice answered.

For that fraction of a second, your heart drops to your stomach, and you’re afraid to look up. This has to be another figment of your imagination. Still, you couldn’t help thinking about the times you wished to hear that voice again.

The journalist steps aside to clear the path. You finally peer up, blinking a few times to assure yourself that this was real.

There he was, standing in front of you–your lightning in a bottle…Namjoon. He had the biggest smile on his face and it was just as warm and bright as you remember it. 

Suddenly feeling that they’ve intruded in a special moment, the journalist excuses themself and thanks you for the lovely conversation, promising to send you the initial draft of their feature via email.

As stunned as you were, you managed to string some words together. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

“Hello, YN,” Namjoon greeted you as he moved closer.

“H-hi.” You were shocked to hear how calm your voice sounded when all you wanted to do was melt into a puddle.

You both stand in front of each other not knowing whether to shake hands or hug. Before you knew it, you were throwing your arms around his neck to embrace him. You feel his warmth envelop you, hearing him sigh faintly into your hair.

“It’s been a long time,” you say after pulling away. “Weren’t we supposed to meet in London?”

//FLASHBACK

When you met in Paris, he was only one of the handful of patrons who spoke English at the cafe. You don’t know how exactly your conversation began, but he started spouting some facts about craft beer as opposed to wine–and tried to convince you that one was better than the other.

After a few spirited arguments, you agreed to settle things…back at his flat, which was a block away from the cafe. Your worked out your differences in opinions in bed, eventually agreeing to disagree after he made you orgasm.

He later confessed that the spontaneous debate was a pickup tactic from him. He thought he was being clever but never expected you to offer up some valid points. But you told him that you thought he was cute so you were all-too-willing to be reeled in anyway.

Though you were on break, he was in the middle of his school term and had to spend time traveling within the city to check out recommended sites to fulfill his course requirements. 

He invited you to come with him on a day trip to check out the former studio of an artist who turned out to be instrumental in their home country's rebellion. You were apprehensive but came with an open mind--and you never regretted it.

You spent the evening at his place once more...and a few more times after that. Your favorite thing was waking up next him in the mornings, exchanging innocent kisses in bed that always escalated to the point where one or both of you would end up moaning each other's name.

But when you weren’t in bed, you spent many hours just talking. He was so passionate about his studies as much as you were about yours. The way he spoke about art, its origins, and inspirations was so reverent, it was fascinating to experience a drop of his enthusiasm.

The day you had to return to London was difficult, not just for you but for him, too. He and a few of his fellow students were supposed to travel to Rouen and spend a few days there to check out some impressionist exhibits recommended by their teacher. He planned to take the ferry to visit you right after.

When you arrived at the train station, he noticed that he lost his phone somewhere between the ride from his flat to this point. You dug into your bag and retrieved an old receipt where you wrote your number and address down. He took it and slid it in between his book that he carried with him. Then, on the week that you were supposed to meet, the borders shut down.

//END FLASHBACK

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Mm-hm…you better be,” you respond wryly.

He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “I, uh…missed my alarm then, got caught up in the border lockdown. Before I knew it, I was stranded in Normandy for a bit before the school managed to make arrangements to get us back to Paris then back home.”

You’ll never forget it, since you, too, were stuck in a foreign land so far away from family.

“How come you never called?” It was a question that niggled at you for years.

He chewed at his bottom lip helplessly. “In the midst of all the chaos, I misplaced my book–the one where I kept that receipt where you wrote down your information.”

That all sounded too easy and far-fetched. But in the week that you spent with him, it wasn’t that hard to believe. He nearly left his passport behind at the bar that first night before going back to his flat; Once, he got off at the wrong stop after mixing up north and southbound trains.

You sighed. “Well…you’re here now. That’s all that matters, right? How did you know I’d be here?”

He smiled wistfully. “I saw your picture in one of our e-newsletters I get at work,” he answers. “I normally send those straight to my trash but something told me that I needed to take a look at it and…I’m sure glad that I did.”

That made your heart flutter. You made a mental note to thank the university’s Communications team for convincing you to do a headshot to promote the lecture series.

“Do you live around the area? Are you local?”

He shook his head gently. “No. I made the trip out here because I wanted to come see you.”

Your mouth falls open at his confession. “O-oh.”

“I wondered if I could take you out for dinner? There’s a bistro that I passed not too far from here. U-unless…you’ve already eaten–”

You snorted loudly then interjected, “Oh, please–you know I could always eat!” He laughs hysterically.

******

“Have you ever gone back?”

His eyes flick up at your question but the look he gave told you that you didn’t need to clarify it further.

“Mm-hm,” he answered affirmatively before adding, “Not as often as I’d like, though. And you?”

“Yeah,” you reply. “Actually, a year after travel restrictions eased up, I went back right away.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Really?”

You nod and look at him enigmatically. “I went straight to Villa Dupont.”

Remembering the area so clearly, his lips twitch at the thought. “Luna’s atelier?”

You nodded again. He sat back on his chair then interlocked his fingers behind his neck before he tilted his head against them. “Wow. That’s…amazing!”

“What can I say? That’s where my career started,” you quipped.

“And here I was, thinking that I was such an idiot for taking this beautiful girl on the most boring, mind-numbing walking tour of Asian impressionist artists.”

You both laughed, but those walks with him were one of the best memories of your time there.

“Anyway, I came back a few more times after that for my doctoral dissertation. And now here I am, giving lectures on it.”

The look on his face showed pride and admiration. All those hours you spent talking, you both shared your dreams and hopes for the future. You both had your head in the clouds…just two kids trying to justify the relevance of your respective liberal arts programs.

“That’s amazing. Consider me envious,” he says in jest. “You’re traveling around the world…and living your dream.”

You wave him off. “It’s not so glamorous. These days, I’m happy if I get to squeeze in some personal time. Usually, I get to a place, spend most of my time working and…” Your eyes drift down to your left hand, picking up your drink, “...then I have to get back to my family.”

He follows your line of vision. It wasn’t the first time he’s clocked in the piece of jewelry you’ve worn for a number of years now. He noticed it when you took the menu from the host after they sat you down at your table. 

He hadn’t asked about it then, nor did you ask him about the ring that he wore on his finger when he moved his wine glass to the edge of the table when the server returned to pour him a glass of red wine.

You cleared your throat. “So, what else have you been up to these days? Are you just calling up former lovers?” You teased him.

A low laugh rumbled within his chest. “I’ve only ever had one former lover,” he held up one finger and stared. It was so unnerving, you had to break eye contact first. “Then, I got married. Really quickly…to the first girl that I met a year after I got back from France.”

You couldn’t hide the shock written all over your face. “Wow,” you managed to say. “That’s…” You try to think of a word that didn’t sound too reproachful. 

“Crazy? Impulsive? Yes. I was really young and I thought the world was ending. I just didn’t want to lose anybody again.” he trailed off. 

You and your husband were together for five years before you even thought about getting married. Maybe you were unconsciously holding out hope that you’d run into Namjoon again.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and smiled sadly at the thought, but that was quickly interrupted by the server bringing your dinner to the table.

******

You go through the rest of dinner talking about your most recent work and him sharing some of his more recent projects. When the server returns to dish out your plates, they ask about dessert. Namjoon declined but immediately looked at you.

“Oh, no thank you,” you declined politely.

Namjoon’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Who are you? I could have sworn that moelleux au chocolat was calling your name,” he teases, remembering your favorite treat that you indulged in while you were together.

“Shut up,” you laughed. “We’re not 21 anymore. You can’t…eat chocolate cake just like that.”

“Not even in bed?” The soft crinkle in his eyes deepened as he smiled cheekily. 

You try to put aside those memories of chocolate and him. You cock a serious eyebrow at him, his expression unchanging. “Nope, not even in bed.”

You fall silent for a bit. Then he asks, “How many kids do you have?”

“Two girls. You?”

“I have a son,” he answers.

“Must be blissful to just have one,” you commented, polishing off your wine.

“Oh, trust me,” he says, picking up the bottle to pour you another glass but you hold your hand up, feeling like you’ve had more than enough for the night. “He’s still a handful, though.” he laughs, proceeding to empty out the rest of the bottle’s contents into his glass.

“But he’s my handful, so…” he trailed off, setting the empty wine bottle on the table.

“Are you and your wife still together?” You thought maybe the question was out of line but curiosity was getting the best of you.

His expression turns wistful. “We live under the same roof, let’s put it that way. She’s a great woman, a good mother. And I don’t deserve her.”

You smiled sadly at him, then stared at him silently. You begin to question why you even decided to come with him. Perhaps it was all a big mistake.

And yet, even though it's been so long, your memories of him were so incredibly vivid that you could just reach your hand out and you'd feel them. Feel him.

“What are we doing here, Namjoon? Why did you show up at my lecture? What did you hope to achieve?”

“Honestly?” His eyes flicked downward and he began to fidget with a loose thread on the table cloth.

“When I found out that you’d be in town, I booked a room within five minutes.” He chuckled. “I didn’t even care if the rate was ridiculous…”

Then, his gaze lifted back to your face. “I was hoping that we could pick up where we left off."

Your hand instinctively clutches at your chest. Your heart was beating so fast, you were afraid that it would just burst out of it.

"For 10 years, I imagined what our life would have been like. And if I ever saw you again, would I feel the same way about you? Would you feel the same way about me?”

You purse your lips and lean in closer. “You didn’t need to book a hotel room to find out if we still love each other…” You paused, then gave him a small smile. “Because clearly, we still do.”

His lips curved into a smile and the dimples in his cheeks grew deeper.

“For 10 years…Just the idea of you, knowing that you existed and that you were in my life…I held onto those memories and they got me through some tough times.” Your throat tightens but right before your tears fall, he reaches across the table, holding his hand out, beckoning you to put your hand in it.

After some hesitation, you acquiesce. He gives it a gentle squeeze, then brings it up to his lips to kiss it. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

******

You took a leisurely walk by the avenue and into a small pub a few blocks away. You shared a few more drinks and stories. For hours, you caught up with each other’s lives. 

You excitedly talk to him about your new television project while he enthusiastically describes recently studying works by the late Yun Hyong Keun, even developing a friendship with his family.

Art was Namjoon’s pride and joy. His eyes, though the corners were now wrinkled with laugh lines several years later, still lit up the same way when he talked about his passions and the things that he loves.

When one pub closed, you moved into another. And when that closed, you moved your conversation to a park bench, right outside of your hotel by the waterfront.

It was a little after 5:30AM and daylight was breaking through the horizon. Most of the town’s commercial avenue was still asleep, save for the cafes that were gearing up for a new day for early-morning patrons.

When you sat down next to him, he lifted his arm up, inviting you to sidle up closer to him. And you did. You basked in his warmth and rested your head against his chest. You caught a whiff of him…cinnamon and coffee mixed in with faint traces of lavender-scented fabric softener. Even though you felt fatigue set in, you couldn’t close your eyes. You crane your neck up to find him sitting still with eyes closed while the sunrise kisses his face. Now, how could you possibly miss that?

******

You head back into the hotel and go up to your respective rooms only to retrieve your things so you could check out and head to the train station.

“You don’t have to take me, really–”

“I know I don’t have to but I want to,” he insisted.

You laugh at him. “You’ve gone and rented out a room that you didn’t even sleep in. Now you’re saying that you’re going to take the train with me, see me off at my stop, then transfer at a station that’s completely out of the way for you?”

He laughed in return. “It sounds so crazy when you put it that way but…yes, I want to do all that.”

You shook your head at how ridiculous that was. “Joon…”

“Please? Just let me do this,” he all but pleads.

You wanted to protest again but instead, when you open your mouth, a yawn escapes you.

“Look at you…that’s like, the fifth time in a row you’ve yawned,” he snickered.

“Spare me,” you chuckled with a slight eyeroll. “I know we barely slept when we were together. Now I can barely keep my eyes open.”

“Dawn is for lovers…and bakers,” he adds with a grin while his eyes peered up at a bakery that had just turned over its ‘open’ sign on the front door.

Your cheeks flushed with warmth. “You always had a way with words.”

“Things haven’t changed much,” he replied as you made your way out of the hotel to catch a cab together.

******

Hours later, the train approaches your stop, and you begin to gather your things.

“Thank you,” you say to him.

He smiled wordlessly then dipped his head down. You didn’t stop him and instead, met his kiss halfway. Warmth bloomed within your chest when your lips brushed against each other’s. In an instant, you had traveled back in time…back into his embrace. It was like coming home.

The train comes to a halt, making you bump against each other. Pulling away, you stare at each other with half-lidded eyes. Both your pulses raced but ironically, there was a calm that washed over you.

Neither of you said anything for a few beats until a smile broke through his lips. It’s so infectious that you do the same. He leans in again and plants a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead. You find yourself squeezing your eyes shut.

When he lets go of you, he looks into your eyes again. “We should do this again.”

His invitation was so unexpected that it knocked the wind out of you. You give him a small smile and a nod. “Sure, just call me.”

“I definitely will. You know, since I have my phone with me now instead of an old receipt,” he says.

You gather your things and off-board the train hand-in-hand. You put your luggage down then faced each other on the platform.

“So…have a good life!”

Your comment tickles him. “‘Have a good life’?” he echoed. “That sounds like something people say when they won’t see each other again.”

You didn’t really mean anything by it. You thought it sounded better than saying, ‘That was fun,’ or ‘Take care.’

You chuckled at him and shrugged. “You never know what could happen between now and the next time we see each other again. I could die; you could hit your head and fall into a coma; another border lockdown could happen, or…maybe one of us decides that they want something else,” you reply casually.

He took a step to narrow the gap between you. “I’ve always loved your wild imagination,” he says, tucking a few strands of your hair behind your ear.

You grinned at him. “So you’ve told me.”

His expression turned serious. “Well, none of those things will happen. We’ll see each other again.” he promises, keeping his eyes locked with yours.

You nodded softly and gave him a small smile. “Alright.”

His smile grew wider and you tilt your chin up to kiss his lips again before his train home arrives on the other side of the platform. You watched him board and saw that he sat by the window seat, his eyes still on you.

True love in its absolute form has many purposes in life. It’s not just about bringing children into the world; or romance or soulmates or even lifelong companionship. The love you had in your past...unfinished, untested, lost love...seems so easy, so childish to those who chose to settle down. But it’s actually the purest, most concentrated stuff.

For years, you imagined what it would be like to see him again. To learn that things hadn’t changed and that spark between you was just as bright and electric as when you first made eye contact.

And while you were happy to learn that he still felt the same way, just like any spark, there’s a brightness for a few seconds…before the wind blows it out. Like a firework that shoots up into the sky, bursting into different colors, only to fall back down as smoke and ash. Like a bolt of lightning, crackling through the storm clouds, followed by a loud thunderclap and a burst of rain.

Up until the last few hours, you realized that something this good can only last for so long. 

You had your beautiful moment with him. And that’s how it will always stay in your heart.

When the train rain pulls away from the station, you feel a twinge in your chest. You blew him a kiss and stood there silently until he was far enough away from you.

He waved at you through the window then turned to look straight ahead.

“Have a good life, YN,” he whispered to himself.

Crossposted on AO3 | Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joonschocochip @yu-justme @e-cm

[thunderous-wolf]

L.O.V.E#

Installment 3 of my series of "Thoughtz"

Note: "Thoughtz" is a compilation of drafts of fanfic that I've had in my notes for a while. They're unedited and most are unfinished. Since I do not feel motivated enough to finish them, I'm posting them all for you to read. Enjoy~

Pairing: Rock singer Minho × fem!reader (no relationship as of yet). Strangers to Lovers trope

Plot: Your friend drags you to a concert of some stupid band that you've never heard of - except, it's not so stupid if the lead singer is hot...

Warnings: none

Word count: I don't know, but probably somewhere between 500-1k

a/n: I lost interest in this story pretty quick, so it stops early on. HOWEVER, if this gets enough attention, I may be persuaded to complete it.

And as always, feel free to comment.

Please DO NOT copy, translate, or steal my works.

It was the last few weeks before school started up again, and you wanted to enjoy every last bit of it. You were planning to go out of state and visit some old friends since 1: you haven't seen them in what feels like forever, and 2: you're single, so there's nobody (other than you're friends who were almost all on vacation somewhere) holding you back from going anywhere. You had this all planned out and were already preparing for the trip when Jennie, you're one friend who is not on vacation, texts you.

Jennie: Hey! I need a favor...

You: What did you do?

Jennie: I didn't do anything this time, I swear! I just need you to come with me to the VENOM concert at JYPark next Saturday. Everyone else is on vacation, and I don't want to go alone! You HAVE to come with, I don't know what could happen if I went alone!

You: I was planning on leaving to go out of state next week to visit some friends. I don't think I'll be back by next Saturday. Plus, I don't even listen to VENOM's music, or know who they are

Jennie: It doesn't matter, I just need someone with meee! PLEASE come with! I'll owe you a favor!

You: ...

You: Fine.

Jennie has been your friend since you could remember. You had to admit, she did have a somewhat selfish side, but she'd been with you through the thick and thin, and you've developed a soft spot for her. You hastily texted your friends that you'd have to cut the trip a little short because something popped up. They understood and were happy that they'd atleast get to see you.

~TIME SKIP~

You arrived back home the Thursday before the concert. You spent the next days until the concert unpacking, relaxing, and getting settled back in to your schedule. Jennie was filling you in on some basic info about VENOM over texts, and you could tell she was very passionate about them. From what you've gathered, VENOM is a rock band boy group with four members. Chan, the eldest, was the bass player. He apparently had an accent that was "super sexy". Minho was the main singer and keyboardist with "amazing dancing skills that aways captured your attention like a magnet". Changbin was the drummer and was "absolutely stunning and totally kissable" as Jennie had said. Last but not least was Hyunjin, the youngest, who was their guitarist and a "complete heartthrob".

You didn't know exactly how accurate Jennie's descriptions were, but atleast you knew some names. They started the band a couple years ago - was it 2? 3? You hadn't really cared enough to remember - and they've been playing at bars, parties, and small festivals ever since then. They weren't outstandingly popular, but they did have enough popularity to have all of their concerts packed. Their music had to be pretty good then, right?

When the day of the concert came, Jennie excitedly appeared at your door at 8 am. She was already dressed up in as flamboyant of a outfit that you have ever seen. You could tell she took her time on her look. She must have woke up early, but she certainly didn't show it. She had more energy than you.

"You look like you just slept for two days in the luggage compartment of an airplane! Go grab a cup of coffee to wake you up and quickly get back here! We need to get you ready to go by 11!" She said, almost talking a mile a minute. It was hard for your half asleep brain to keep up with her.

"11 o'clock?! The concert isn't until 2!" You said, alarmed. She shooed you into the kitchen towards the coffee machine.

"We're going to the sound check, dummy." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Instead of replying, you directed all of your focus (and energy) to making that cup of coffee.

When you came back to your room with the mug in your hand, you found her ruffling through your closet with one hand while the other held an array of clothing.

"Ah, there you are. Are you feeling more green or purple...?" She said, more to herself than to you as she held the clothes up at you. After looking between you and the clothes for what felt like an hour (it was really only a minute), she nodded her head with a huff and got back to ruffling through your closet.

Seeing as she's distracted, you go find your phone to see if you got any messages from your friends. Almost as if sensing your presence, your phone dings from a notification. You pick it up to see that Felix, who also like Jennie, has been your friend since childhood. You used to hang out with him all of the time before you and Jennie went to a different school/college than the rest of your friends.

Felix: Thank you once again for visiting us! The cookies we baked together are already gone... I've got to keep Jisung from eating them all ;) Is everything going alright with you, Sunflower? I know you had to leave early but, I just never got to ask why.

You: I told you you should've hid them from Jisung! I'm doing all right. I had to with Jennie to some concert - she's just being high maintenance as usual, lol

Felix: That's sounds like her. Whose concert is it?

You: Some band called VENOM apparently. I've never heard of them before.

Felix: VENOM? From what I've heard, they're pretty good. My sister went to one of their concerts once with her friends. She actually enjoyed it and she doesn't even like rock music

You: They must be pretty good then

You found yourself saying that quite a bit lately. You didn't know how much faith you had in Jennie's words, but Felix's comforting texts made you feel a little better. He had an incredible skill for soothing people, and that was what you missed most during your school here, along with his warm smile that seemed to light up the whole room. Jennie's voice broke you from your reverie.

"You took a shower last night, right? Well, just put the clothes on that I laid out on your bed and use that perfume I gave you. Be quick too! It's already 8:15 and I have to have enough time to perfect your makeup!" She shouted from presumably the bathroom, where all of your makeup was kept.

She picked out quite the outfit for you. It had a mix of greens and black with silver accents and it gave off the "single and ready to mingle" vibe. It was surprising how she pulled it together, as it was definitely not your style and your clothes closet reflected that. Reluctantly, you put it on and once you looked in the mirror, you had to admit, you did look pretty hot in it.

Jennie was already waiting for you when you made it to the bathroom. She had the counter set up as her workplace, with an assortment of products placed about. She looked at you with your hairbrush in one hand and curling iron in the other.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare like a goldfish or what? Get over here." She said and immediately got to work.

After quite some time, she finally let you look at your final look on the mirror. You were very shocked. You didn't quite look like you, but you looked good - and you liked it. Your now slightly wavy hair framed your face perfectly, and your eyeshadow perfectly complemented your outfit. It was a job well done by Jennie.

"Watcha think?" She said, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"I can't even... wow, just wow. You're incredible, you know that?" You respond, still in awe.

"Oh, I know. You'll thank me later." She said. "Now we've got to go, it's 11:05."

Before you could respond, she hurriedly walked down the hallway to your door and put her shoes on. You followed her and did the same. You felt a little sick to the stomach and you couldn't tell if it was from nervousness or excitement.

Having finally made it to JYPark, you see why she insisted on leaving an hour early. The traffic to get here was out of this world, and the park was crowded with VENOM fans - known as "Oddinary" or "Odds" for short, according to Jennie. *She's got that right. They all are odd. * You thought to yourself. Gazing out at the crowd that surrounded the stage, there was what felt like hundreds of people, each adorned with some piece of VENOM merch paired with brightly colored hair or makeup. For a rock group, their fans looked more like modern pop stars gone wrong.

The concert was set at a plaza in the middle of the park, with trees and well taken care of flowers circling the plaza as far as you could see. Above you was the large expanse of sky that had to be breathtaking at night. Despite the rowdy crowd and stage lights, it felt peaceful here, putting your mind at ease. That peace was short lived.

A commotion broke you out of your stupor, drawing your attention - like many other's- to the stage once more. By the screaming of the fans closer to the stage, you could infer that the band was going on stage for their sound check, whatever that was. You had no clue why Jennie insisted on coming early for it when she was already going to their two and a half hour long concert, but you were just along for the ride.

One by one, four figures appeared on stage. The first crossed to the back of the stage and went up a ramp that led to a higher platform which held the drum set. You tell from here that he was no stranger to the gym. You could see why Jennie called him "absolutely stunning and totally kissable". By the way her face lit up, you figured she had a thing for this drummer. While he was adjusting the drum set, the next figure crossed to the far right of the stage. He picked up the bass that was sitting on its stand behind him and plugged it into the machine on the floor infront of him that held an array of buttons and pedals that did who knows what. The next person caught your eye the moment he came on stage. It wasn't because he had outrageously dyed hair, or an overly bedazzled outfit, but his stage presence seemed to allure you. He had a confidence that made it seem as if he'd been doing this his whole life - and maybe he has. Jennie didn't give you much background information on them, so you had no clue. He truly looked like a professional up there, with each movement purposeful and graceful. He had this charm about him that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You were so enraptured with him that you didn't notice the fourth member get on stage. His hair drew your attention from - what was his name, Min.. Minho? The guitarist's hair was blonde, much like Felix's, and you suddenly felt keenly aware of how much you missed your good friend. He used to take you to all sorts of new places around town, and it feels almost wrong not to have him here with you even though it's been several years since you had an outing with him. Just the two of you, in a sea of new faces, facing it together. It made you miss your carefree middle school days (even though they may have been embarrassing) where you would explore the city together, sometimes getting in trouble, but never truly facing many repercussions.

[sanguineshade]

So, a few months ago I remembered Houseki no Kuni was a cool thing I watched once upon a time and decided to look up the manga. And then I read it. Past where the anime adapted. Up to chapter 75, then I stopped because I am not in the state of mind to periodically wait for unfinished stories like I did in high school, so I'd rather stop at a pleasant point and wait a good while to pick it back up.

And, all's well and good. I had a good time and am still extremely invested in whatever new way this author decides to break my heart with. Catharsis and stuff. Yep.

But then comes November, I go to an anime event. With the intention of buying myself something. With my own money. Which I am stingy about because I mostly use to buy food since I hate cooking-- Bottom line, I am walking around. There is hardly any merch I would like to have. Still, I am having a good time being on my own and going at my own pace. There is a manga stand.

There is Houseki no Kuni. First two volumes. Translated in Portuguese. They have holographic covers. I buy before even asking the price. This is a historical event. I can count on one hand the number of manga I adore that get translated, and that number is now three.

I come home. I look up the publishing house website. There are more. I buy then in the beginning of december like a happy joyful idiot and they take far too long to get to my hands because of a silly little detail called xmas. Never heard of it, to be honest.

And now, now, finally, after all hope was lost, I received my package. Brought it home in quite the mood. Forgot to have dinner and am now suffering a headache because it was just oh so important to read the same story I read before, only with far higher quality than the scans I found online. And in portuguese. Have I mentioned that?

There is, a certain quirk, let's say, with portuguese. A detail that almost clashes with this particular story. Because this is, after all, a story about gorgeous gemstone people who are very much agender lesbians. And portuguese, a very unromantic language, absolutely loathes the idea of not gendering every word and concept. Therefore, when translated, all of the gemstones use he/him pronouns. I can't explain how that makes me feel, but it is a happy feeling, or at least so I'm inclined to believe. Male pronouns, female androgyny. Interesting choice.

Quite a lot of choices are make when adapting this kind of material and they were a joy to notice, I'll say. The way the word "sensei" has been translated, but his name remained as "Kongou", unlike every other gemstone. A peculiar detail, a good hint, shows the care put into this. The gems themselves, many pleasant words to see in my own tongue, some of which I had never read before and made me wish I had a class on gemstone geology. The more delicate moments, like turning the original "fu-an" syllables of the lunarian speak into something else while retaining the wind sound.

My, the work of an adaptation, it's such a creative endeavour. Translators have it hard, but to see something go a step beyond to be accessible in another language, in my language, like this, I have nothing but respect for every choice made.

And not to mention, how different it is, to have the book in your hands. Manga does not retain the scent I find familiar and comforting from my childhood and teenage years, but their rough pages offer quite a nice experience too. And, most of all, I find myself scanning them for details more easily, being far more absorbed into the lines when I can hold them close to my face like this.

This manga is quite a beauty. The lines are so simple, and that makes it so much easier to follow. The best part, however, is the sheer number of wide panels. Blacked out panels, with white lines. I've never seen a story that plays with panels like that. I love every single one. There is such a sense of shock, and scale, and emptiness, and feelings which I can't name. It's great, really.

Now, pacing, that is the despicable evil that makes me ramble so much. Because it's one of those stories, that ends every chapter with a cliffhanger, and it's such a tall cliff, I am indeed holding the thread from which these characters hang over this tremendous fall. I know the story, I know what happens, I read it recently, it's fresh in memory. Yet, yet, I am shaking right now, because the last volume translated ends, like every other before, in a scene so utterly tense that I cannot reach catharsis through any means other than complaining.

Yes, this was all a huge complaint, yet still I cannot bring myself to dislike even a single thing. The first time I saw this story, it felt mean-spirited, in some way I couldn't articulate at the time. It is, truly, stained in hopelessness, however that is not the same as despair. As I read it now, perhaps I understand it better, even if the sting still hurts the same every time. It brings up frustrations, and annoyance, and impatience. It's a story that begs for what-ifs, but couldn't proceed any other way. I find that true for all my favorite tales, so I suppose it's just fair that this one gets my number three spot.

I love, love, love you, Houseki no Kuni, Land of the Lustrous, Terra das Gemas.

[mirrortouchedsea]

ES Rarepair Week 2023 Day 2: Childhood/AU

Pairing: Madara Mikejima/Tatsumi Kazehaya

Word count: 663

Notes: So uhm. I'm trying to write in the style of Jose Saramago because I've been reading the Gospel According to Jesus Christ so this is literally two big paragraphs and I am sorry but it was a lot of fun to write so! This will hopefully be part of a much larger fic continuing in this style so it will definitely be and feel unfinished. Enjoy!

---

Since Tatsumi Kazehaya was a young boy, he knew he had to hide his faith. His parents had instilled in him a sense of fear since birth, that they were persecuted for their beliefs and he should never tell anyone about them. Hide yourself so you can continue to praise the Lord. Tatsumi didn’t understand this very well, but he continued to remove his religious iconography whenever he left the house, hanging up a cross necklace by the door before he left, but that’s something we can look at later. For now, we see Tatsumi Kazehaya as a young boy, on one of the rare days out with his family. They are going to a local aquarium that he had seen a pamphlet for a few weeks ago. What’s an aquarium, he asked his parents. It’s where they keep sea animals on land. But don’t they die without water? They keep them in tanks and take care of them, so don’t worry. Okay. He would pull out the pamphlet and look at it, trying to read the complicated words on the page before giving up. He was only five years old, after all, we shouldn’t expect him to be able to read something as complicated as this. His father picked it up and read out the names of some of the advertised exhibits. Squids, dolphins, sharks, seahorses. There are horses in the sea? They’re named that because their heads look like horses.

Tatsumi is holding his father’s hand as they walk through the aquarium, pointing out some of the different animals mentioned in the pamphlet. Tatsumi presses his face to the glass tank as children are known to do and follows a large and slow fish with his eyes. There are many brightly colored fish dancing around it, but Tatsumi’s eyes are glued to the large and slow one and he doesn’t notice as the crowd around him shifts and changes until he pulls away and realizes his father is nowhere to be found. Tatsumi’s heartbeat pounds in his chest as he tries to find a familiar face in a sea of strangers until he runs into another child. He looks about the same age as Tatsumi and he relaxes instantly. Are you lost, the other boy asks, grabbing Tatsumi’s hand and pulling him away from the crowd. I think so. Who were you here with? My mom and dad. What do they look like? My dad has hair like mine, he points to his head of mint green hair, and my mom has the same eyes. He talks a little too mature for his age, but then again, so does the boy who found him. Can you tell me your name, Tatsumi asks. Madara, and yours? Tatsumi. Nice to meet you Tatsumi-san. Madara pulled Tatsumi around again, walking through the different tunnels like he knew the place well. Do you live in the aquarium, Tatsumi asks as they pass through another room filled with fish. No, but I’m friends with the owner’s son. Is he nice? He’s interesting, but I don’t know if nice is a word to describe him. How so? If you met him you’d know. Can I meet him? Maybe someday, but they keep him pretty guarded. Tatsumi didn’t say anything after that and instead pondered why a child like him would be kept under such close watch, though he might realize he was in a similar situation if he had any awareness of how different his childhood was from most. It took a few more turns through some less crowded rooms before Madara finally stopped, hand still holding Tatsumi’s. Where are we? Somewhere we can wait for your family. How will they find me? Well don’t you ask a lot of questions. Wouldn’t you? I guess. So how will my parents find me? They just will, I don’t know how it works but they’ll find you here. Will you wait with me? I’m not supposed to. Can you? 

[set-in-stardust]

it's done.

Wings and His Wingman is officially done. read the final chapter here

I said it in the notes on ao3, but I am SOOOOO done with this fic and I'm happy it's finally finished. I didn't want to leave it unfinished since so many people liked it, but I honestly lost interest and didn't want to work on it anymore for so long.

That's not to say I didn't like writing it or anything, I did for the most part! I've used w&w as a learning project to grow as a writer and evolve my own style, which I hope is a bit more apparent in that final chapter. I don't regret writing this fic for a second, I just don't want it to be my most known work :')

so go check out my other (way better) fic, veritatem dies aperit!!! I've plugged it a bunch of times because I am wayyyy more interested in it than i ever was in w&w, the writing is much better and well-thought-out, AND it's got mumscarian (but not a grian has two hands scenario. they're all together holding everyone's hands in a big, traumatized circle. okay) AAAAND cosmic horror and watcher lore <3 I know how much y'all love watchers

after VDA, I plan to work on a couple of original books! Please look out for those when I post about them! I'll always continue writing fanfic I'm sure, it'll just be more oneshots and less longer-form fics from here on out, since those take a LOT of effort and planning <333

love y'all, and thanks so much for the support on w&w! I hope to see some of you in my inbox soon!

[pertinax--loculos]

November

So, as it turns out, November went quite well for me.

My original goal was to do @winterandwords's CalmWriMo, with the goal of getting some words down and establishing a writing habit with my new job. The start of the month it didn't look like that was going to happen. The new job is kinda overwhelming with study (long story), and I just didn't have the brainpower to do anything else.

Then, on the 18th, I got hit with some inspiration for INUNDATE. And I decided fuck it, I'll jot down that scene, because I've lost a lot of ideas for that WIP from not writing them down when I think of them.

Then I continued jotting down scenes, and I ended November having added a total of 28,600 words to INUNDATE.

Which is fantastic. I'm not gonna lie, study did kinda fall by the wayside in favour of writing, but it's been a couple of weeks where that's not the end of the world. Going forward, I'd like to try and prioritise study a little more; probably do some writing straight after work, have a break, and then get into going over what I've learned for my job during the day.

There's also the small problem that yesterday I was fucking whacked with inspiration for a new WIP (my ultimate curse D:). So it's possible I'm gonna start writing that -- though at the moment it's all Vibes(TM) with absolutely no thought of any sort of plot. But they are, like, super cool vibes, so I'll just see what happens. I have an assessment on Monday regarding the stuff I should've been learning when I was writing rather than studying, so after a weekend of study we'll see how I go and whether or not what I've been doing is sustainable alongside the training of my new career.

(This past week has been a sorta follow-along with qualified employees; like A Week in the Life of what would happen if we pass the training. And that life is very conducive towards writing. Which is exciting. But I have to pass the damn assessments to get there, so, y'know, priorities.)

I will say that it being NaNo month definitely made a difference -- there was a few days this week where I could've not written, but knowing that I was adding words to a total I hoped would be pretty good for starting ~twelve days before the deadline was certainly motivating. I do love the NaNoWriMo energy, even if I very rarely ~technically~ participate.

But yeah, generally speaking, November was a success. I'm really glad I got some words down, including some plotting stuff for INUNDATE.

(INUNDATE in itself is an interesting WIP -- it's basically a romance story, but it only covers like the first two-thirds of the beats of a romance, because the other third occurs during CASCADE. So it's been a fun exercise to write, but I don't think it'll ever be properly, like, 'marketable', because it's so intertwined with another WIP/story and you don't get the conclusion until you read that (notably unfinished) WIP.)

But anyway! I hope everybody else had a good November -- whether or not you were participating in NaNoWriMo, whether or not you're in my hemisphere and enjoying the turn towards warmer weather, whether or not life is treating you well. With any luck I'll be able to be on here a little more often as we head into the new year (which, btw, it's December which is fucking terrifying). But even if I'm not, I'm always thinking of you guys, and almost always lurking to see what you're up to. ;)

[whoaffle]

I got asked about Defeated By A Mere Child...

I didn't want to go and answer the asks with a huge dump of text, so I decided to post this separately to whoever is interested in reading a bit more about my reasons for being in a hiatus.

There was more than only one factor that led me to the hiatus.

First of all: time. I graduated in 2019 from Language Arts course, but back in 2021 I started another course (Game Design), and I also got a job in 2022… So for the past 1 year and a half or so, I've been not only studying again, but working too, meaning that time has become scarce… And here I need to mention that DBAMC is not my only creative project, even though it is one of the only projects I ever managed to actually "put out there in the world", I guess… But with all the games I'd like to make, all the unfinished fanfictions in my AO3 (Including the DBAMC one!), all the other comics I still want to create (fancomics and original projects), drawings I still want to make, RPG campaings I'm playing (with sessions that I owe my friends), yada yada, DBAMC has become only one of thousands of things "in line", and yet another project that I keep thinking of and wishing to some day finish. Specially because the little free time I've got, at the end of the day, always ends up being consumed by playing Baldur's Gate or watching Youtube, simply because I'm too tired to produce actual content after a whole week of work (that's modern capitalism for you)…

All that aside, there are emotional factors related to it as well. (Sad Backstory Unlocked).

Jokes apart, I lost a dear relative around the time Legends Arceus was first around, and it was a difficult period for me, meaning I found it hard to keep up with the Pokémon franchise (and any other franchises to be fair). Pokémon released Legends, the Sinnoh remake, DLCs, and in the middle of all that I was still trying to successfully incorporate the characters from SwSh into my comics... I had no time and energy to look up the new content, couldn't play the games since I don't have a Switch, and just ended up stressed abouot not knowing the new content, thinking I should be working on it to keep up with the fandom for the sake of the comics - Now, I want to clarify, I created this problem myself, in my head, on my own (as one with anxiety does). No one from my followers ever pressured me to keep up with releases or anything, but I ended up turning it into a problem in my head and couldn't tackle it in a productive manner.

The fact that now ScaVio has also launched and I still haven't even touched anything from Legends or even the SwSh DLCs should explain how much I distanced myself from the new Pokémon content ever since, in part due to bad emotional associations with the loss I experienced, but also due to not liking how GameFreak / Nintendo have been managing the development of their games recently, AND also due to simple lack of time to go after anything other than "let me take a look at the new pokémon" (Tinkaton is my favorite Fairy Type ever, just in case anyone is interested).

Thing is, I couldn't keep up with the new content, as much as I love Pokémon and as much as I love all the content up to SwSh. The fact I couldn't keep up led to my anxiety acting up (plus emotional difficulties due to personal life stuff), leading to me deciding to take a break. Lack of time in general ended up becoming the main reason why the break hasn't ended yet, unfortunately.

So, all the context aside, am I gonna get back working on DBAMC content?

The short answer is: I don't know. I want to, but I don't know if I'll manage. I do want to do it, eventually.

I still have no idea when I'll be able to work on comics again, being 100% honest. But there are two things I can tell:

First, it's not gonna happen before July 2024, because that's when I'm expecting to finish my graduation project. I'll still have to finish one or maybe more disciplines after that, but the most difficult part should be over by the middle of next year... Still, this is not a promise DBAMC will be back after I finish college. I'm just saying that it will certainly not happen before that.

Second is that, whenever I manage to get back, I have decided that I will not incorporate newer content in the comics, at least not so soon. This has to do with the reasons cited above, of course, but also has to do with all the complicated "logistics" that adding new characters to comics turned out to be (incorporating Rose and Piers was a lot harder than I expected, since I had to re-write and change already written scripts and change the order of comics and etc... I won't be able to do that again with even newer characters).

All that said, I have at least ONE good thing to say: I've been revisiting my written content in AO3, wanting to get back writing some projects, and that includes the prequel I wrote to my DBAMC comics! I've been wanting to at least publish the last two chapters so that the story can be complete! So this is something I am planning to do in January, if everything works out. :)

I understand that it's definitely not the news any old follower of the blog expected... But it's what I can do for now...

If you read everything... Wow. Thank you!

Happy new year, everyone!

[yorshie]

13 for the writer's ask?

I read your tmnt work but really, any fandom you'd like to share too.

Question 13: What are some must-read fanfics in your fandoms? Why do you admire these, and how have they impacted your works?

Question 19: How has your experience as a fanfic reader impacted your experience as a fanfic writer?

13: Oh, my goodness. Listen. I have read and fallen in love with more fics than I can shake a stick at. I've been reading for a very long time, but I will give you as best an answer as I can. Please be aware that some of these fics are NSFW, and some of them I don't know if they are still up, it's been so long since I looked for them. edit: I limited it to ten, because I could feel myself spiraling down memory lane.

If you aren't familiar with @tmnt-tychou When Leo Met Mona, you should start there, since I'm gonna assume since you're asking me you are in the TMNT fandom. - I love her work and the way she writes romances with the turtles, and I know she's impacted my writing because I have a whole fic that has one of her characters in it.

I have really enjoyed @afreakingdork 's work, TMNT fandom as well - they're one of those writers that twists things in interesting ways and withholds information, and I love how I'm always kept on my toes while reading.

Oh, Son of A- by StrivingArtist on AO3, Hobbit fandom (Fili/reader) - I love this story simply because the author took a long break in the middle, and then came back and finished it. It's completed, and the story is funny as all get out. Took that 'modern girl falls into middle earth trope' and knocked it out of the ballpark. I still cackle over it.

Eidolon by Llanval on AO3, Marvel fandom- unfinished, but poetic, the imagery and storytelling is startlingly haunting. I would go out on a limb and say the author was a fan of E.T. Hoffman.

Alabanza by brandyllyn on A03, star wars (Poe/reader) - it's just a romance that really stuck with me, and I thought it had a really interesting take on how Poe actually meets reader.

Lost Valor; Forgotten Stars by rinskiroo on AO3, star wars (Poe/ofc) - this is a fic that I still don't understand fully to this day, but I know it was drawing on lore from multiple points in star wars history. I would read it again, probably will this weekend. Really highlights the difference between the resistance and the rebellion.

Earning my Wings by warqueenfuriosa on AO3, star wars (poe/reader) - I really connected with this reader, and gosh darn this fic is just funny. and believable.

anything shootybangbang on AO3 writes. They were someone I found while deep into red dead, because we both explored the same imagery on the duality of man and beast. The way they write poetry into their stories is just mesmerizing.

We Were Only Ever Stardust by PardonMyManners on AO3, rogue one fandom - oh this one made me cry. I was really into how the RO fandom took star crossed lovers and found family and just drove a knife into everyone's heart with it

Theres a whole rogue one series by angel_deux on A03 that starts with a fic called Hard to be Soft. I found it 6 days after the movie released and read the whole thing whenever I could. Another one I'll have to reread soon.

19: Well, reading fanfic is how I became a fanfic writer, and definitely played a part in how I’ve gotten better at writing. To be very blunt, what I consumed usually found its way into my own writing. There were definitely fics that I read that made me realize what I did and did not like, and there were just as many ideas that captured my imagination as those I shunned. There were writers whose style I admired, who twisted words and withheld information in a way that caught my interest. There were characterizations I had no care for, for sure, and moments where I didn’t fully understand what the writer was trying to get across to their audience, but on a whole I always felt there was something to learn from whatever I had decided to read, and my writing responded like a puzzle picked from many different people over many different years.

I feel like this answer is maybe a bit meandering and not very precise, but please be aware I’ve been reading fanfic for almost two whole decades, across fandoms and platforms, and so I don’t remember things very vividly, but my writing is a timeline of who I was at the time.