#it looks like even the gangs do not wish my death- why?

[alipeeps]

Episode 26

"We've caught the demon". Pretty fucking sure you haven't cos uhhh... she literally rocked up with an umbrella for Li Lun at the end of the last episode...

Mmm and if that *isn't* Ao Yin... is it another of Wen Zongyu's demon hybrids, that's been given the shapeshifting power?

(Ooooh and if that's the case, was that even Ao Yin that they went chasing after - that Chongwu camp pointed out? Or was it just their pet shapeshifter pretending to be her? And pointing her out was designed to make the gang chase off after her. Just another part of their plan to make sure Zhuo Yichen/Demon Hunting Bureau got villified/distrusted by the populace.

Called it.

Is she sitting up waiting for Zhuo Yichen to come home?

Oh give him a hug ffs, you both need it...

Meanwhile Zhao Yuanzhou is roaming the halls like a restless, lonely ghost...

Ugh the soft almost smile as he looks as Zhao Yuanzhou...

He wasn't prepared for that. And he also didn't want that - for Zhuo Yichen to have to have the experiences that would make him understand what it has been like for Zhao Yuanzhou.

Oh dang..

My fucking heart...

When the drama straight up goes "Found family? Hell yes. Explicitly yes. Yes."

But he still wants to die of course...

"Wo men yi qi"

Scuse me, officer? I need to report a crime? Yes, this show is trying to murder me.

Oh dang, Zhao Yuanzhou is now putting his coat round every member of his polycule, one by one...

Zhao Yuanzhou you are such a git. I love you.

Yeah he did... but you cut him off.

Shitttt this is too fucking tender. This is killing me.

OMG the camera acting as her POV and her glance drifting down to his neck...

I am dead. This is my ghost typing this.

Oooh I was literally just thinking last night.. they've fixed the baize token, surely they should make it a priority to restore the wilderness?

OMG it that Bai Jiu mama coming back to life?!!!

Holy shit after all the angst and pain of the previous episode, this one is like a fucking warm bath of emotion.

(Which almost certainly means the show is going to rip my heart out again VERY soon, right? Like they're doing this just to make it all the more painful when they reach into my chest and crush my very soul...)

Oh what the fuck?!!

Don't you fucking hurt my boy Ying Lei!! Don't you DARE!!

I thought you said it wasn't easy to break a mountain god's barrier, Ying Lei?!

Oooh was that Xiao Jiu's powder that slows down/weakens demons?

So he's bought the gang some extra time by slowing Li Lun down...

Well that certainly doesn't bode well...

Ooooh so if you had one wish Yichen, what would it be? Turn yourself human again... or save Zhao Yuanzhou....

Well shit.

(However, if there is no need to pursue them into the Bingyi Clan's forbidden area, then why the fuck did you rock up to pursue them in the first place, Li Lun?)

That sounds like a REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA, Zhuo Yichen!!

You tell him, Wen Xiao! It's found FAMILY, Zhuo Yichen, not found I'mma-nobly-do-this-shit-all-on-my-own!

Well said Sijing.

Oh fuuuuuck. Zhao Yuanzhou. You're fucking killing me here!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Oh god, and the way Wen Xiao immediately looks at Zhao Yuanzhuo with hope... like please, please say yes Zhao Yuanzhou, please say you'll live...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK

He's spent so long seeking death... and he's willing to give that up.... because Zhuo Yuanzhou asked him to.

(Oh god, he's definitely going to die at the end, isn't he? It's going to destroy me)

Ha! Wen Xiao pulling rank on Zhuo Yichen! AND on Zhao Yuanzhou!

FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Oh fuck, is it Ying Long?!!

Oh fuck, one of them has to stay there?

Oh dang, it's asking him to sacrifice one of the team...

This is Zhuo Yichen you're dealing with here. If the choice is sacrifice one of his team or die himself (due to not fixing the Cloud Light Sword), then he'll choose to die himself. Every time.

Uhoh, it's trying to freeze all of you!

Ohhh the way he just so calmly and casually wraps his hand around Zhao Yuanzhou's hand to forestall his one word spell.

What do you think he's gonna do? He's gonna choose to sacrifice himself.

What the FUCK? He has pre-written goodbye letters to Wen Xiao?!!

This episode is destroying me. They are just constantly fucking verbalising their care and feelings for one another and... how... how am I supposed to just sit here and survive that?

Yesssss Zhao Yuanzhou....

But what's the point if they both die? Or is he trying to take Zhuo Yichen's place?

The fuuuuuuck what a visual!!

And after all that... they still don't even have the way to mend the sword? And who's gonna mend it anyway?!

Holy SHIT this episode was incredible and I am emotionally exhausted.

[olokosomolo]

The Silk Road is strewn with rocks,

How can I even begin to tell about something that has become a default. I somehow manage to describe it as daily rain, but once a week the little rain turns into a severe storm and floods everywhere. Unfortunately, I’m talking about the non-stop follows and detection after me. Yesterday it was a difficult time for me, I got so frustrated. It’s the worst feeling when you know someone is after you and not for a good cause. It’s sureal, absolutely unacceptable at all. I’m going through such a trauma and it comes from many fronts. One serious front is the completion of the hostile takeover my business by Ricky, it also came with a surprise which was 100$ as my share for this week.

So to be honest it’s hard to get by with 100$ for a week, nevertheless Ricky cooperating with the building manager in which the electricity been cut off for already 6 month. No doubt I’m going through a hell on earth. And there no one I can ask for help.

I’m already in a numbness stage. And for dessert, of course ( listen to that) an hour ago, I got SMS. Lol, I’m laughing coz this time it’s so arrogant of feces Richard to send me $100 my share, and at the same time planning to send me a gorgeous girl from a sugar daddy site. Lol. It just show how stingy looser he is. Look, if the guardians wouldn’t bothered me, perhaps I would have go for it, coz she would have came without money. She was the temptation girl. She perhaps would be responsible to put something in my drink, then I’ll be disoriented, or she simply will open the door soon as I go to the bathroom. So, she quickly will opens the door to whomever guys that would come from unit #10 (I’m unit # 15) they enter my unit without a foul play, that means a perfect death wish! Without any suspect. So I had no other choice but to tell her she called a week too late, coz I got a girl already.

[howlett-n-morgan]

Take Me Home

4. John Fucking Marston

Arthur Morgan x Texas Red!Reader

A/n: GUYS I GRADUATED MY FROM MY COURSE! i give you this chapter as a token of my celebration... now I just have to make sure I don't have any models fall off the runway in my line up lmao

Summary: The newest arrival makes his way into camp, and inadvertently becomes the reason that chaos begins to spread. Luckily, his new uncle Arthur is there to carry the woes on his broad shoulders.

Warnings: mild swearing, canon typical violence, birth?? mentions of past death and Arthur remembering his deadbeat dad days. drinking, mild alcohol abuse?? also Hosea is a real one we love Hosea

WC: 4.5k

“Need I remind you of the price you’re gonna pay?”  “She’ll be safe with you. The boy, too. I ain’t leavin’ them in incapable hands.” “But you’re leaving them,” Arthur reasoned, trying his best to make any last effort to save what could have been, but he knew his found brother would not be changing his mind. His only thought at this point was to beg him to stay. If only because he was the one who asked. “Don’t do this. They need you, we need you.”

A week after the heist, Arthur’s shoulder was feeling better… but his head was hurting like hell. 

In fact, on this specific night, nearly everyone’s head was throbbing on account of the wails and cries of terrible pain coming from the edge of camp. 

Abigail had gone into labor around five hours ago, and the little baby had still not come into the world yet. As of right now, the men were huddled close to the fire, passing around a fresh bottle of whiskey in attempts to pass out so they could get some sleep. Meanwhile, the women were rushing to and fro about the camp, working their asses off to bring a new life to the gang. 

You figured it would help you bond with the boys more if you sat with them, moaning and groaning about the noise… but you’d much rather be helping, making sure nothing went wrong in the tumultuous process of birth. 

It wasn’t until close to one in the morning that a tiny baby boy was born, strong as ever, with lungs so powerful they could blow a lark out of a tree. His cries replaced Abigails, but after all that time, everyone was pleased to know the delivery was over, and both parties were healthy and sound. 

The men did eventually pass out, all except two. 

Arthur and John were up till the crack of dawn arguing, and it didn’t look good from an outside perspective. 

You were about to take back towards your tent when you came across them, hurriedly getting out of their line of sight so you could listen without suspicion. You knew you had no right to eavesdrop, but with everything you’ve heard from Abigail concerning John, you were bursting with curiosity in a way that turned your stomach. 

“I don’t see why I need to be convinced otherwise,” John ripped into his dearest friend, and even from behind a wall of tented fabric, you could imagine the look on his face. 

“You’re makin’ a mistake right now, and you ain’t gonna see it until it’s too late.”

“How would you know? S’not like you did any better,” the tone of his voice was bitter, almost. John caught himself, taking a step back and breathing more evenly after his fit of anger. “I didn’t mean that, Arthur… but you oughta know where my head’s at.”

Arthur was silent, and you wished more than anything you could see the look on his face to determine how Marston had gotten to him. Was he saddened or angry? Maybe even confused? You didn’t know, but you didn’t have long to dwell on it. 

“You listen here, boy,” Arthur’s voice sounded threatening, intimidating. It was perhaps the scariest you’ve heard him speak. “You ain’t got no idea what’s comin’ to you if you leave. There will be no place in hell you’ll be able to hide from the decision you’re about to make. It’ll follow you the rest of your days, and haunt you when you’re dead, you understand me?”

John didn’t speak, didn’t answer or even mumble an excuse, he just walked away. He walked towards Abigail’s tent, ducking his head under and closing the front panel. You stood there stunned, afraid to move… but then Arthur came up around the backside of the area and scared the shit out of you. 

“You hear all that?” He asked, a slanted look in his eyes and a distaste for you in his tone. It might be the remnants from his past conversation, but you hate the way it sounds. 

“Arthur,” you caught your breath from the fright he gave you just in time to mumble out an apology. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be listenin’, but Abigail’s been telling me things and I just…”

He managed to huff out one silent breath of a laugh, shaking his head. 

“Don’t be fretin’ on my account, I ain’t mad at you.” 

You sighed in relief, stepping closer to him now that you didn’t feel so burdened. 

“I don’t know him very well, but what I’ve seen… he doesn’t know his head from his ass. Is he really gonna leave?”

“I don’t know,” he started, crossing his arms and letting out a small yawn. He’s just as tired as you are. “I think I just bought a few days, maybe more, but who knows.”

“You think he can change his mind?” You relaxed your demeanor in front of him, but kept your head on a swivel just in case

He was so tired, you felt bad for keeping him awake, but you figured these thoughts were weighing heavy on him, and it might be good to get it off his chest. “He’s far too stubborn to do it on his own. We’d all have to raise hell for him to think badly of his own choices.”

You frowned, turning towards the tent of the new, young family… There were already so many problems in their unit. 

“Poor Abigail.” 

She’d be alone, and with a child to take care of. And meanwhile John would be scott free and having the time of his life.

“She’ll be alright, her and the boy. I’ll make sure of it,” he nodded towards where you were staring. “Around the time he started acting up, I told her I’d marry her, be the kid’s father if she wanted me to.”

Your head snapped around to him, and you processed his words. Abigail told you about part of his offer, because you’d given her the same one, sans one detail…

“You’re gonna marry her?” 

“Only if she wants me to, if John leaves.”

Good to know… but not really. It looks to you like John is pretty set in his ways, even if he ends up staying through the week, or even more. 

You nodded to him, but you hated the notion that he could already be promised to another person, even if you had absolutely no plans on pursuing him yourself. It was a small little envious monster that crawled in the pit of your stomach, and for a split second, you felt yourself resenting Abigail, who thus far, had become your closest friend after Arthur. 

“I actually offered the same,” you laughed, shaking your head and kicking your boot into the ground. “Not that it would last, but I just wanted her to know I was willing to help.”

“The whole gang chips in here and there, bein’ a family and whatnot… She’ll never go without help,” he assured, his posture becoming heavier with each minute passing. 

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat and stretched your arms out, faking a massive yawn that looked real enough to pass you off. “It’s probably time we all turn in, huh?” 

For some reason he seemed vaguely sad for the interaction to be over. 

“Just about… I’ll catch you later, then,” he waved you off, heading back to his wagon and you to your tent. Even though they were relatively close, the entry points were on opposite sides.

You fell back into your cot with a heavy exhale. It’s been a long night, and with a crying baby in the camp, it’s looking to be a long next few months. 

-

The next few days were wonderful, despite the ill attitudes of a few grumbly men, Arthur not included. 

Dutch has been going on and on since the birth of the baby that the newest member should be given a worthy name. You assume he suggested his own namesake a few times, but since he’s been nothing but playful about the whole thing, you know he isn’t too bitter when they do finally settle on a name. 

Abigail picked it out, and you understand why. 

John Marston Jr, or as the two have taken to calling him already, Jack. 

You were surprised to see that waking up in the late afternoon the day of the birth, John was being… really different. He was putting in effort to help Abigail, he was making sure the others knew of all the information as it came, and most importantly, he was being positive about the whole situation. You suppose Arthur did knock some sense into him, and it was evident in how he was carrying himself. 

You weren’t sure how long it would last, but you felt relieved. Not only for Abigail, but selfishly, for yourself. If John sticks around and pulls his weight, Arthur doesn’t need to be tied down to a family. Not that he would ever see it that way, but still. 

You didn’t know where you stood with Arthur. He was a dear friend, you knew you could say that by now. You think that maybe the playful banter between you holds more than just friendship, but you can’t be sure, and you’re too damn chicken to test the waters. And obviously, a plain and simple conversation is entirely out of the question, because of ridiculous reasons you don’t care to list off. 

Maybe you’ll never know, and you’ll always be playing the game of ‘will we, won’t we’, unable to come to a sound conclusion. You think you’d be well enough with that, even if you never settle down with anyone. 

It’s a terrible absolute, and you should have never decided on it, but you think that being open ended and in this endless cycle of banter with Arthur is better than being in a committed relationship with anyone else. It makes the one on one interactions with him that much sweeter, though. Like today, when it was both your turns to watch baby Jack. The others were working on something in the town, and Abigail and some of the women were napping, having taken care of him through the night.

“He might be hungry,” you suggested, laughing at Arthur’s attempt to sooth the wailing infant. 

“I get hungry too, y’never see me cryin’ about it,” he was joking, clearly. He shook his head and reached for the glass bottle Miss Grimshaw had prepared this morning. 

Jack fed on the bottle and stopped crying, and in the aftermath, you paused to watch the scene before you. A big, gruff outlaw, with his hair tousled and shirt out of place from tiny hands fisting at it, and relaxed in his arms, a tiny baby being bottle fed. It was such a contradictory picture, but one you couldn’t tear your eyes away from. 

“Cute,” you mumbled, nearly under your breath, but he heard you. 

“He’s somethin’,” he chuckled, a small smile on his face when mentioning the boy he held so close. Arthur was many things, but amongst them was gentle. He was a kind creature by nature, that had only been hardened by experience, and these soft moments let his internal goodness show. 

“I meant you,” you teased, and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head. He didn’t even know how to respond for a second. 

“I’m quite the opposite, but I’ll thank you for the thought.”

As tough as he was, and as rightfully boastful over his skill with a weapon or with his bare hands, he seemed to negate himself often. His intelligence, his artistic talent, his looks, even his presence during group gatherings. It saddened you, and you didn’t even know the root of his struggle.

“Why you always doin’ that?” 

“Doin’ what?” he asked, his head tilted to the side and a narrow look on his face. 

“Bein’ mean to yourself…” you answered, sitting down on the other end of the log he was relaxing against. 

What a treat it would be for Arthur to see himself through your eyes. He’d never think poorly of himself again. 

“M’not, just the truth.” 

And that was even sadder. Who on earth ever convinced this man that he wasn’t good enough? Whoever it was, you’d like them to be on the other side of your pistol’s barrel. 

You huffed out a sigh, leaning forward so he didn’t have to strain his neck to look back at you. 

“Y’know it’s too damn bad, I happen to think you’re a pretty decent person. I pity anyone who thinks otherwise,” you spoke firmly, laying it on thick so that maybe he can come to terms with believing you. 

“Is that so?” 

“Mhm, very much so…”

He looked back down at Jack, trying to distract himself from your complimentary onslaught. He didn’t much care for compliments, so he wasn’t even sure how to receive them, if he accepted them at all. He has a very strong belief system, and it’s constantly just a mantra of things like ‘I am a bad man, I do bad things, I am dangerous, I am getting old, I am ugly,’ and so on. He didn’t understand how much he had hurt himself by forming those beliefs in the first place. 

You sat with him in silence for a few minutes, just watching Jack finish the bottle and settle into Arthur’s arm for a nap. He slept a lot for someone that cries through the night. Hearing the soft cries in the night isn’t peaceful, but it’s better than the anxiety and feeling of dread his cries brought you the first day, when John was set on leaving. 

You keep replaying a moment from that morning in your head, when the sun was just over the ridge, and you were heading to your tent… 

“Arthur?” 

“Yeah?” He turned his head again.

“The day he was born… that argument between you and John,” you wanted to make sure you phrased this correctly, unsure if it was a sensitive topic. “He’d apologized for sayin’ something… Sayin’ that you didn’t do any better? What was he talkin’ about?” 

Arthur took a deep inhale and shifted around in his seat, the ground beneath him feeling like it could cave in just at your words. John had struck deep with what he’d said, but having to rehash it, and with you… it wasn’t a thing he’d ever do for fun, to put it nicely. 

“I mean, him talkin’ about leaving Abigail, and you givin’ her your offer… You’re already better than he is.”

“I wasn’t always,” he shook his head. “Holdin’ him like this, it makes me remember just how terrible I am.”

You sank down from the log and scooted closer to him. No one in camp was around to see, so you didn’t bother looking. His eyes got foggy without even going into detail, so you didn’t push… but he seemed to open up on his own. 

“I had a boy when I was John’s age. Same situation n’ all,” he shook his head, trying to keep his sights on the ground in front of him. The longer he held Jack, the worse this feeling got, but he knew it wouldn’t ever go away, not really. Not with a new and constant reminder of his past. “His momma and I, we didn’t get on too well, so I kept with the gang. Didn’t ever come around except when we passed through that town. Could count on two hands the times I saw my own son…”

You didn’t know what to make of this. He has a son? Does he keep contact with him? You’re unsure if you want to know all the details, because hearing it as is, sounds messy. 

“Where does he live?” 

You had no idea that you’d just asked the worst question in response… but how else were you supposed to know? This was the first you’d heard of Arthur’s son. 

“He uh… he died, about three years ago,” Arthur shook his head, swallowing back the lump in his throat, though his teary eyes persisted. “They both did... I came back one day, and found two crosses in the yard. I asked around, townsfolk said a group of robbers came through and raided several homes.”

“Arthur…” you grabbed his arm gently, trying to convey your sympathy, and your sadness. 

“I knew it had been my fault. If I had been there, my son would be alive, his mother, too.” 

A cloud had rolled over the sun, and shrouded in a temporary shade of darkened light, the mood felt heavier than even his words could convey. This man and his layers, being peeled away before you… it was both touching, and terrible. You had no idea a man was capable of feeling so deeply, of being so open about his past and regrets. You’d never seen a man cry before. 

“Issac and Eliza were their names,” he finally looked at you, tears escaping his eyes at a rapid pace. He let them fall, somehow knowing you wouldn’t judge him for it. “And they aren’t here because of me.” 

You gently raised a hand and wiped his cheeks with your thumb, leaving your hand there for as long as he would let you. 

“I’m so sorry, Arthur…” 

Nothing you could say or do would help to heal his wounds, but you wanted to try. Wanted to be there for him, whatever that meant. You and him got on well. You were friends, but there was competition between you, all a part of your banter. You supposed you’d feel inclined to let him win in any circumstance from now on, just because you couldn’t bear to make him upset. Seeing him this way broke your heart, but it also empowered you in some way. To be more empathetic, and kind, and to not let your anger get the better of you. You’ve proven to him in the past that you were a hot head, no pun intended. You would have to be mindful of letting yourself fly off the hinge to him in the future. 

“Even if John doesn’t leave… I swear I’m gonna do right by this boy,” he let out, his voice trembling but his words were of certainty. 

You felt a tear roll down your own cheek, and did nothing to stop it. This moment, whatever it was, you wanted to feel it. Wanted to keep it buried within the depths of your soul. 

You’ve been on the run for four years now, and in those four years, you’ve been on your own, making some sort of fantasy world for yourself where death was just the thing at the end of a duel, and you never had to pay the toll of those losses. 

You’d not been living in reality, and coming to this gang, meeting Arthur… it must have been preordained. It must have been fate. He himself, day by day, was restoring your humanity, and your ability to feel something that wasn’t just a farce.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered, but being so close, he heard you clearly. 

He let out a huff that you suppose was meant to be a soft laugh. “You don’t just hear me, Red… you listen to me. I guess I’ll keep on tellin’ you things.”

And soon both your attentions were pulled back to Jack as he stirred slightly. 

You took a turn holding him while Arthur went to grab some food, and you found you rather liked this particular baby. He was a sweet little thing, not so bratty like the tiny cousins you grew up around. You can only hope he’ll stay this sweet as he grows older. 

-

A month had passed, and John was getting more angsty. 

Arthur was honestly surprised he had lasted this long. It seemed impossible that he stuck around, especially when he had to be the one to take a turn with the baby during the night. 

Fights had broken out with various members of the camp, mostly over John and his unwillingness to help anymore. Dutch had chewed him up and spit him out, and after that, John had made up his mind, for certain this time. 

“You ain’t leavin’, just sit down,” Arthur pulled him back by the shoulder, trying to stop him from packing up and saddling his horse.

“What makes you think I would stay with a bunch of folk who hate me?”

“We don’t hate you, you’re bein’ ridiculous. Sit down, we’ll talk about it.” Arthur tried to reach out for him again, but John pulled himself back and out of the way, two steps from the hitching post. “Boy, you’re not goin’ anywhere-”

“I’m leaving!” John burst out, taking Arthur by surprise. This wasn’t just another hissy fit or tantrum where he would eventually let it stew over. He was really gonna do it. “The kid ain’t mine, I counted back. She’s just try’na tie me down, Arthur... I feel for her, but I ain’t stayin.”

“Need I remind you of the price you’re gonna pay?” 

“She’ll be safe with you. The boy, too. I ain’t leavin’ them in incapable hands.”

“But you’re leaving them,” Arthur reasoned, trying his best to make any last effort to save what could have been, but he knew his found brother would not be changing his mind. His only thought at this point was to beg him to stay. If only because he asked. “Don’t do this. They need you, we need you.”

“You don’t need me, Arthur. You’re the better one, always were…” 

“C’mon now, you know that ain’t true. S’just another excuse,” he waved his arms around, trying to emphasize just how stupid it sounded. Yes, it’s all Arthur’s fault that John is leaving. 

John doesn’t even answer Arthur, he just turns heel and readies his horse, all while the older of the two stands by and ridicules him for what he’s about to do. All John can do is tune him out, and pretend he doesn’t hear the distant crying at the other edge of camp, where Susan is trying to console a tired and emotionally devastated Abigail. Their son sleeps in Tilly’s arms, oblivious to anything happening around him, but what’s to come will put a damper on his previously bright future. 

By the time John is on his horse, loaded up and ready to head out, Arthur grabs hold of his leg, yanking it back from the stirrup. He looks to his eyes one more time, to see if there’s any guilt, any resolve, anything that might show he knows what he’s doing is wrong… but he only sees annoyance and pride. Two things John Marston usually wore on his face. 

“If you leave this camp, you best never come back again, ya hear?” 

And for the first time that night, Arthur saw just a shred of fear in the younger man’s eyes. 

“I hear,” he nodded, the fear turning into sadness in this last moment. “It just ain’t worth it no more.”

And with that, he turned his horse, and left the camp. 

Arthur went storming through the camp after the interaction, needing to find himself a drink. 

-

You were angry and rightfully so, stomping back into camp like a bear hunting its prey. Walking up to the campfire, there were only a few left awake. Pearson and Hosea sat, hunched over and with half full whiskey bottles in their hands. Probably from the stolen stash, the brand was decent.

“Anyone seen Arthur?” You asked them both, knowing that at least Hosea could tell you. 

“He passed out ages ago,” He nodded towards his covered wagon near the trees and rocks separating your space. “John left camp tonight.”

“I know, I caught him outside the saloon,” you sat down by them, reaching out for either bottle they were willing to hand over. “Gimme some of that, will ya?”

And of course, drinking was the solution at the end of the day. 

After a while, Pearson dragged himself to bed, leaving you and Hosea to sit and stew by the fire, milling about your tumultuous thoughts. You should have known he’d ask for details of your run in with John. 

“I was out scouting today… realized I needed to go to town for a pair of socks, mine got holes too big for sewin’,” you began, gaze trapped on the fire, the alcohol making it harder to focus on anything else at once. “Came outside and found him hitchin’ his horse.”

“You were the one who approached him, then?” 

“I thought about just wavin’, I thought I’d be seein’ him back here… but then I looked at his saddle. He was packed up for the trek of a million miles,” you sighed, taking another big swig of the pricey whiskey in your hand. You would finish the bottle in no time if you kept up like this, trying to quench your raging thirst for something strong and potent.

“What did you say to him?” 

“Nothing really, not at first. Just asked how the day had been, how Abigail was. I haven’t been here since this morning. I guess they started fighting real bad after I left. Dutch tore into him, too,” you spoke heavily, suddenly the swigs you were slamming back were making you a bit less understandable. Hosea though, was easily able to listen, because after years of Arthur’s drunk slurring, and having to make out sentences between, he was practically an expert. “All I said was that he shouldn’t leave, because he’ll regret it.”

“And I suppose that didn’t help.”

“Nah, he just told me where to shove it. I think he’s scared… not of the kid, and not of Abigail. I think he doesn’t wanna end up like his father. Arthur’s told me something about it, but in my opinion, he’s trying to get out before the resentment turns to abuse n’ all that.”

“I reckon you're right. We all told him time and again he’d be a good father, but he’s stubborn as they come, and when his mind’s made up… there’s no stopping that boy.” Hosea shook his head once more, his sadness reflecting in the light of the fire. 

“I guess Arthur’s gonna marry Abigail, now…” you knew you were just trailing into your thoughts, and that while getting more drunk, you shouldn’t be saying them out loud… but you couldn’t help it. Selfishly, on your ride back to camp, this is all you thought about. 

“He offered, it’s up to Abigail to accept,” he said gently, raising his brows in thought as well. He doesn’t see it as a good match, but he thinks it’s honorable that Arthur would do such a thing. 

“I hope she doesn’t,” you murmured quietly, but it seems he still heard you. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing, m’just gettin’ drunk.”

He chuckled under his breath, his side eye remaining on your features just a while longer before he stood up, patting you on the shoulder. 

“Don’t drink too much more. You’ll pass out before making the trip to your tent.”

And then he left you alone. With your thoughts and a bottle of whiskey in hand, who knows what more you could do in a situation like this. It was better to cut your losses and just turn in… so you did. 

Laying down on your cot, you expected sleep to take you. It should have, given how tired you were, but the single notion kept echoing in your head over and over…

Arthur Morgan isn’t mine, and he never was.

Tags: @photo1030 @sheepdogchick @snoopysshark @strvberrydoll @yyiikes @phantasyy @puffyhairedhipster @scorpio-echo

[octopotto]

Brain Rot: TWST Cast with Saitama! Reader

OCTO NOTE: College has been absolutely brutal. These headcanons were worked on bit by bit these past few months :(

I saw some TWST fics that used pre-exsiting characters to based the MC off of and I wanted to try w/ one of my favourite characters.

WARNINGS: NOT PROOF-READ, OOC Behaviour, this is so cringe but very self-indulgent, mc is the most sane person in this universe, you decide if mc is bald or not, yandere if you squint hard enough.

SPOILERS FOR: TWISTED WONDERLAND

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral! 

———————————-••———————————

Life at Night Raven College would be much more peaceful if MC had Saitama’s strength lol

Problems would've been solved quicker as well.

At first glance, you don’t seem to be a threat.

To most, you look like a regular, magic-less human on the outside.

And that’s what makes you so dangerous.

Don’t fuck around and overblot unless you have a death wish.

The Overblot crew definitely had one when MC swung their fist at them.

The whole prologue would be shortened.

Fun fact: You accidentally put too much force on the coffin door to get out, thus smashing Grim in the process while he was prying it open :D

Grim, the Ramshackle ghost, and Crowley were the first group to witness your impressive strength.

And by impressive, they mean terrifying.

To Crowley and Grim at least.

The ghost were shocked but very much amused after a couple moments.

God knows how the Ramshackle Dorm was still in one piece after that.

Grim is very happy to have a strong minion to protect him

Just don’t hurt him like you did with the ghost pls. And the door lol

Crowley would be most likely absolutely be afraid and made a mental note to keep track of you. 

Especially since you were almost successful to killing him in his ghost form. He’s making sure that Ramshackle gets fixed quicker.

Crowley: “Great Sevens… How do they have such monstrous strength... This stowaway is just a magicaless human! My…what have I gotten myself into?? *sobs* OH IF I WASN’T SUCH A KIND AND GENEROUS SOUL I WOULD NOT LET THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR BE PRESENT ON MY CAMPUS” *more obnoxious sobbing*

You and Grim: 😶😐????

Despite scaring and almost killing the shit out of the Headmaster, you still start off as a janitor lol.

Fast forward to the Mine Incident with Ace, Deuce, and Grim—

You basically massacred that monster.

A monster that probably injured many Mages and Wizards

You destroyed it in one punch.

On that day, Ace reminded himself to never piss you off again. Ever.

He loves cherry pie, but would rather not become the filling itself, thanks.

Deuce probably was gawking at you after the shock.

Not in a bad way

But in a good way y'know?

But he’s too shy to ask for advice for now.

This is basically the start of Deuce idolizing you and your strength.

Brain Rot:

Ace, Deuce and Grim are your self-proclaimed bodyguards.

At least THEY like to think that they are.

Listen, they know that you are MORE THE CAPABLE protecting yourself in fights or in any physical confrontations.

But that’s it.

You’re basically shit at everything else.

From completing your assignments to even showing up to class, it seems like in the trio's eyes that you NEED THEM to take care of you. You all are like family now!

So they all make an effort to help you out when you need it.

No really, if you keep forgetting to submit that one potion essay that Crewel keeps smacking your shiny ass head to complete, you’re going to get left behind.

 They’re more like secretaries than bodyguards lol.

The post-overblot Spelldrive tournament was an absolute nightmare.

Well, at least for everyone but Ace, Deuce, and Grim.

They were GLOATING about how they were in the lead and challenged anyone to try and top them like the smug, over-confident assholes they are.

The only reason why they were in the lead was because of you. Simple as that.

The Savannaclaw gang put up a good fight

For the first 10 minutes in the match.

All Leona could do at that moment was strategize how not to get his and his teammate’s heads chopped off by the disc you kept throwing at them.

You are quite fond of Ruggie

More specifically: you were fond of Ruggie’s haggling skills.

If were had a choice to trade your god-like strength for his haggling skills and techniques, you wouldn’t hesitate one bit.

And y’know it wouldn’t be Ruggie if he didn’t take advantage of this. He would offer you advice and tell you if theres a huge sale going on at a near-by grocery store if you promise to lend him a hand whenever he needed it.

You were so tempted to say no

Not because he was shady and overall untrustworthy

You’re just lazy

This is his way to spend more time with you but he would never admit that out-loud.

If your MC is bald, instead of Floyd squeezing you, he will smack and ‘dribble’ your head as if it was basketball.

Jamil and Ace especially are amused.

God forbid you ever get a bad tan on the top of your scalp

You will NEVER hear to end of it.

Floyd also is your biggest bully.

jk but not really

Yeah he knows that you could probably kill him with a gentle tap

But when did that ever stop him?

He mainly does it because he wants to see your reactions

You’re so plain looking and your nonchalant voice and facial expressions do not help as well.

But remember only Floyd HIMSELF can do those things to you, okay? Only him.

If he ever finds out that some random NPC student was doing the same thing to you, You’re going to be finding that NPC tossed in a corner somewhere with almost all their joints mangled.

You like how generous Kalim is.

You probably helped him fan the fire off his ass in the ceremony

He’s was incredibly thankful and was able to remember what you looked like.

I mean, you literally saved him!

How could he not remember you?

You don't remember him but let’s not go there lol

Because you saved Kalim from being cooked, he always makes sure that you had enough food for the month!

He would practically beg, like BEG Jamil to make extras so you won’t go hungry.

Especially after experiencing what type of living conditions you were dealing with in Book 5.

Poor Jamil, not only is he working overtime for Kalim, but technically serving food for the person who ruined his plans back in Book 4.

Jamil packing food for you by Kalim’s request: 😡😡😡

totally did not try to poison your food on several occasions

Kalim also begs Jamil to let him deliver the food to you.

He can’t help it! He really enjoys seeing you happy when you receive something from him and Jamil.

You never complain about.

Free food = Saving money.

I mean, if you're being gifted something, why be rude and deny it?

Some students say that you were taking advantage of Kalim because of how easily you accept his gifts without anything in return.

And y'know they could be right

But Kalim doesn't mind.

As long as you're happy, he's happy :)

In Vil’s eyes, you are an enigma. 

It’s like he can’t wrap his pretty little head around on how he feels about you.

On one hand, other than your god-like strength, you’re nothing special. When he first saw you he only disregarded you as another potato that’s not worth his precious time and effort on.

But on the other hand, Vil sees you as a blank slate. Something that ASKING for him to put his smooth and perfectly manicured fingers on. Someone that needs his guidance and skills. 

He doesn’t care if you’re bald or have hair, it doesn’t derail him from the fact that despite you sticking out like a sore-thumb, you’re still so…plain looking.

You probably said some off-hand comment about how ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ to Vil and just walked off.

It might not meant anything to you

But it meant a lot to Vil.

When it came to the overblots and eventually Book 5, he felt as though he was in a spiral of questions that he himself must find the answers for.

And what were the questions that caused Vil’s current state of disarray about? You obviously.

He’s going mad

He can’t stand it.

You said that beauty is in the eye of the holder? Fine then.

He knows that he could do something for you. 

Something marvellous, something beautiful.

For you and himself. 

You had a new nickname for Malleus every time you guys end up running into eachother.

Malleus would always look forward to meeting you solely for the nicknames.

I believe that Saitama genuinely does not care enough to remember other people’s names that much

So that will be a trait for MC in this.

Malleus probably thinks this is a way humans show affection to each other.

In reality, you cannot for the life of you remember that weirdo's name.

Malleus: *Appears out of thin air in front of the MC*

Malleus: Greetings, Child of Man *smiles*

MC Thinking: ‘Why does this rando keep coming back? What was his name again?’

Malleus: *Anticipating their response with excitement*

MC: Uhhhh..

MC: Wassup…Horton? :D

Malleus: *Smiles at his new nickname*

It took a while for you to come up with a permanent nickname for him but he doesn't mind

In his eyes, it's your way of showing him how much you wanted to become closer companions.

Jack and Epel are always on your ass about “How to become stronger” and when you actually tell them the routine that you did at the beginning of your journey, they literally fell in disbelief.

They couldn’t believe it.

It was basically a simple workout routine 

Both still believe that you’re hiding the secret of how you got to your level of strength.

Thus, joint workouts became also a thing within the NRC Campus and you are the leader.

Not by choice however.

Jack, Epel, and everyone else involved were really curious as to how you train.

I mean, look at what you can do! And you’re not even a Mage!

The first meeting was terrible due to the fact you almost obliterated the school.

One flick and the gym could’ve been in shambles.

That’s why Jack and Epel made sure to do it somewhere far and secluded.

And even then, you still created a lot of damage with minimal effort.

It’s incredible to those who look up to you.

Throughout the story, you gained some admiration and recognition along the way.

From Heartslaybul to Diasomnia, you unknowingly grab the admiration of those who either want to become stronger or see you as a hero. 

Some might say that they see you as the messiah who was sent to protect the school.

But let’s not go that far.

You wouldn’t notice anyways

In your eyes they're all a bunch of weirdos.

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTE: Hopefully you guys enjoyed these very terrible brain-rot headcanons. I always found Saitama’s character interesting so I wanted to try out something new. 

Again, I’ve been very busy so I can’t promise anything BUT I can say that there will be more Yandere FF7 fics coming soon! ;)

Thank you to everyone who enjoys my low-quality works! Hope you look forward to my new ones ❤️❤️

[ivyluvsyouu]

𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒕 𝟐

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔/𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄, 𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂,𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

𝑻𝒘: 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒎

𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄

"What?" He said as he dropped the bottle of wine, he was holding causing it to shatter all over the floor of his winery. The traveler looked down at his feet. "Y/n was killed on the commission" The traveler said keeping his head down the whole time. Diluc was in shock. He just nodded his head and cleaned up the broken glass on the floor. As he cleaned the glass a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. He couldn't believe you were gone. It didn't really fully register until he got home that night, and you weren't at home. He just tried to bury himself in his work to keep himself occupied. He bottled his emotions about the whole thing, and he didn't talk to a soul about it at first.

Kaeya had heard about your death, and he went to go check on Diluc. Even if they weren't on good terms, he wanted to make sure Diluc was okay. And much to Kaeya's suprise Diluc talked to him about it and how he was taking it. "I just can't believe there gone..." The whole thing made him somewhat closer to Kaeya. Kaeya would stop by the winery to check on Diluc.

𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂

You had gotten extremely injured during a fight with a Fatui harbinger and the doctors told Kaeya that you didn't have long left. Kaeya stayed by your side the whole time you were dying, and he did everything he could to help you. He knew you weren't doing well at all, but he still believed that you could get through this. He knew you were strong and that's why he was so confident that you would survive. So, when a doctor came into his office telling him that you wouldn't be alive much longer, it devasted him. You died later that day, and all Kaeya could do was sit and watch.

He didn't take your death well at all. He already had bad drinking habits, but he turned to alcohol even more for comfort. He took time off of the knights so he could grieve. He eventually returned to work, and he returned to his old self, but he never forgot about you. Even years after your death he still found himself having nightmares about you.

𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

"Y/n's what!? Nonononono you've gotta mistaking my Y/n for someone else they promised me they'd be careful on their commission." Itto said shaking his head to the person you had gone on a commission with earlier that morning. Itto didn't believe it when they told him you were gone. But when the person was silent Itto's heart sank. He could tell this person was being serious. He didn't understand. It had only been a few hours how could something go wrong in that short amount of time. His gang members were behind him while Itto was talking to the person. Itto just nodded and stared at the ground "I think I'm gonna take off for the day." He said in a disappointed voice.

That was the last time his gang members saw him for a while. He wasn't in any of his usual spots in Inazuma. He just left a note for Shinobu telling her that he needed a few months to get his thoughts together. He didn't know what to do without you. It felt like a piece of him was missing and no matter what he did he couldn't get the feeling to go away.

He eventually returned to Inazuma, but he never got over you. He would often say things like "Y/n would know what to do." or "I wish Y/n was here they could help" He never got that empty feeling to go away. It was like you took a piece of his heart with you when you died.

thank you sm for reading!! requests are always open!!

[orshii]

Limitless (through the night)

Author: orshii

Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader

Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death

Word count: 11,5 k

Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.

Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?

A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)

Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.

In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.

Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.

After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.

So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.

 I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.

 My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.

And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.

I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.

As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.

When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.

I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.

As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.

I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.

I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.

I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.

"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.

"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.

He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."

He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.

Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.

"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.

He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"

He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.

I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."

My answer was short and snappy.

"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.

It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.

"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.

I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.

"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.

I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."

I didn’t even spare him a glance.

"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.

"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.

"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"

"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."

I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.

I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.

I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.

 "Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.

I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.

"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.

"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."

He offered me up with a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.

"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.

"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.

I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"

I had asked him curiously.

"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.

I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."

"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.

The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.

  The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were.  I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.

Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.

Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.

  When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.

"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.

I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."

I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”

"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.

"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.

He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."

He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.

“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.

“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.

My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.

“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.

  The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.

I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.

  The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.

Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.

Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.

  I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.

And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.

I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.

When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.

"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.

I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."

I said placing my helmet down on my bike.

"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.

"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.

"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.

I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"

I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.

"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.

He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.

"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?

"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.

"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.

"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.

The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.

A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.

I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.

As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.

San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.

When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.

At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.

'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.

The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'

I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.

"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.

Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.

"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."

Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?

I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.

"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.

"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.

"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.

I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.

While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.

"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.

"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.

"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.

"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.

"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.

"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.

"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.

He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.

  My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.

"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."

He glanced at me for a second.

"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."

Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this…joking in serious situations.

I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."

He lectured me.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.

"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.

"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.

My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."

I clapped happily, "Thank you!"

The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.

  My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.

We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.

Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.

The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.

When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.

Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.

"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.

"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.

"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.

"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.

"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"

"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.

"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.

"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."

"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.

I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.

I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."

"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!

"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.

"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.

We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.

After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.

That is until someone sat next to me.

"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.

Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."

I had said not looking at him.

San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."

"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.

"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.

My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…

"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.

He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."

He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.

Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.

I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."

He said with concern in his voice.

"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.

Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."

He held my hands, he really looked concerned.

"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.

Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."

Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—

"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.

He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?

He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.

We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.

"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.

"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.

I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.

I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.

"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.

I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.

The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.

Shit, shit, no, not again—

It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.

"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.

I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.

"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.

As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.

"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.

He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.

"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.

"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.

"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.

"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.

I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.

San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."

"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.

"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”

He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.

"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"

I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."

There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."

I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.

"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."

He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.

"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”

"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."

He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.

"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."

I looked at him seriously.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.

And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.

"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.

"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."

I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.

Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.

Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.

"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.

 I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.

"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"

"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.

"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.

I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.

"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"

I felt a bit overwhelmed.

Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.

I scoffed, "What did I do now?”

I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."

I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.

"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.

  Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.

It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.

Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.

"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.

"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face. 

"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."

He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.

"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."

He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."

I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.

My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."

Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."

I started to sob, tears falling from my face.

"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.

We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.

"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.

He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."

He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.

I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."

He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.

Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."

He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.

I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."

I said quietly.

He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"

He whispered against my lips sweetly.

Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.

Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.

I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."

San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."

He held my hands.

"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.

"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.

"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.

"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.

"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.

  It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.

I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.

[kvrokasaa]

First ride, first kiss, first touch

Rindou makes me go brrrrrr, so here's a little thing.

Recommended songs - Electric love - BORNS | we fell in love in october - girl in red

cw: kissing, fluff, dangerous activity (but it's fun lmfao), mention of death once

"Come and pick me up then." You whispered through your phone. Lately you've been talking to Rindou, almost every night.

It was nice, peaceful. You finally took your relationship to the next level, no more the talking stage, but not quite in the actual relationship.

"It's the middle of the night and its storming," his voice was tired, as if he was ready for sleep. "Do you have a death wish?"

You only smile at his words. He always made you think on your decisions, ironic because he's in a gang. "That's funny. I thought you told me that you could ride anywhere, anytime." You were half-joking. But you did want to see if he would follow through and actually pick you up.

You could hear him sigh, "I swear, talking to you is only making me older by the second." But you could hear rustling from his end. It sounded like he was putting his shoes on.

Before you could throw an insult back to him, he disconnects the call. You scoff and place your phone onto your bed.

You have too much energy for the middle of the night. If only you could do something, maybe go somewhere.

After only a few minutes of contemplating what you should do, you hear a motorcycle. And it only takes seconds to realize who's motorcycle it is.

Your eyes widen and you look past your curtain to see Rindou on his bike, waiting for you.

You scramble to pick up your phone, immediately dialing his number. He answers after four rings, and you can hear the rumbling of his bike.

"Are you really outside my house?!" Your tone sounded mad and urgent, but it was a farce. A smile was wide on your lips and you laugh a little.

"Yeah, you gonna come out and ride with me?"

You rush downstairs and put your shoes on, quickly grabbing a coat and throwing it on. Once you get outside, you run up to Rindou, smile as big as ever.

"Let's go, but if you get scared, I'm not stopping," he sounded bored, but you know that he was anything but. "This was your idea."

You climb onto the back of his bike, placing your hands around his waist. Once he's sure you're holding on, he starts the engine back up and gets ready to go.

The wind is brushing through your hair, the rain slipping down your cheeks. You smile at the freedom you feel. If you could, you would open your arms to feel every bit of the night. But know Rindou would only scold you.

Your smile is as big as ever. The cold of the night mixed with the air doesn't bother you as you giggle and hide your face against Rindou's back.

But your excitement comes to a sudden stop when Rindou stops the bike at a secluded beach. The rain stopped but the wind was still as strong as ever.

Before you could ask why he stopped, he hopped off his bike and grabbed your hand, helping you off.

"Follow me." You have no choice but to listen.

He grabbed your hand and led you to the sand next to the waves, where you can smell the salt and feel the water. You look up at the stars which you can barely ever see thanks to the city. Your mouth hangs open as you admire.

You look to the side and see the city lights; you have everything right next to you.

But your admiring was cut off thanks to Rindou grabbing your chin and making you look at him.

"Look, I'm not good with words, sometimes not even my actions. And I get that," if you looked close enough, you could see the red dusting his cheeks and tips of his ears. "But I want you to know that I really like you and your stupid bursts of energy."

He grabs your other hand, placing them close to his chest. "And I love-" He cuts himself off, turning his head to the side.

You scrunch your eyebrows and look confused, "love what? What is it?"

Rindou only grumbles and looks back at you. He opens his mouth, but then closes it. Like a goldfish. And you want to laugh at the scene, but you don't want Rindou to get the wrong idea.

But he leans in and whispers, "just, let me do this." And before you could ask what he means, what he's implying, his lips meet yours.

All blood rushes towards your face, and you know Rindou can feel it when he places his hand on your cheeks.

He turns his head, kissing you deeper. Finally, you close your eyes and enjoy the moment.

You kiss back just as passionately; I like you too. Rindou can feel the words through the kiss.

Rindou is my baby

[harmlessghosty]

Saw the vamp!touchstarved character braunrote and I offer my opinions:

Vampire Vere would be ruthless before he really falls in love with reader. He's greedy and wouldn't think twice about draining someone. But tbh I think when he gets close/serious with reader he'd still be greedy and messy and shit but he'd drink readers blood like it's fine wine. He gets his main fix from other victims but really savours reader. Expect it to be extremely bloody tho, he likes it to look like a crime scene xD

Leander for sure tries to kinda hide it. Not hardcore, bit he tries not to tell EVERYONE. He won't go our of his way but also you wouldn't know by just looking at him. I also think he'd be hesitant to drink from his SO and would make it way romantic, or at least he'd try

Mhin would go out of their way to hide that their a vampire. Would NEVER EVER dream of drinking from a person. They and up having to do it but they won't be happy. Also if their SO asked for them to drink their blood Mhin would refuse 100 times before agreeing. Feels very bad that they actually enjoyed it.... Might have gone a bit overboard too (vere did find out and tease them to hell and back fs)

I don't have much on Ais and Kuras rn cause... Brain empty

VAMPIRE TOUCHSTARVED BRAINROT, LET’S GOOOO! I love love LOVE all of your headcanons. Absolutely love them.

—

Vampire Vere would definitely not think twice about murder. MC would find him dabbing at his crimson lips with bloodstained, monogrammed handkerchiefs more often than not. And when he wants to feed from his beloved? It’s an entire show he puts on. They get a candlelit room, a nice hot meal, tons of fluffy pillows and blankets…the whole nine yards, before he leans so close, his breath runs across the nape of their neck. “You smell delightful,” he whispers, a firm kiss pressing to their skin. “I’m sure you don’t mind that I eat after all of this preparation I’ve done for you, hm?”

Leander DEFINITELY tries to hide it. There are rumors, of course, swirling around Eridia, but no one really knows what’s true and what’s not. Turns out, being a contracted killer really helps conceal his vampiric identity! He can easily do away with bodies and no one will ask questions. Why do criminals keep appearing with two holes in the same spot on their neck? Weird. Maybe someone should hire Leander to look into that and find the culprit…and of course, he’ll take MC along for the journey, which seems a bit more roundabout than it should be. If he needs to feed during the trip, then perhaps they’re a good source of sustenance. After all, does it matter if his beloved knows his secret? They won’t tell a soul unless they’re trying to get themselves mysteriously killed too…

Mhin would never drink from a person…unless they’re absolutely starving to death. Even then, I imagine it to be a moment of disgust with themself—retching and vomiting the first few times they feed, then admitting they need to drink blood for their survival and doing it as humanely as possible. They knock out their victims and only drink until the hunger has barely subsided. They choose spots beneath clothes where marks could be mistaken for bug bites. Mhin struggles to admit they like MC’s blood more than anyone else’s; they really wish they didn’t, but they can’t get enough of it, to the point that they find it difficult to sleep beside them at night without absentmindedly running their fangs along MC’s skin. They’re just so hungry around their partner. Maybe…just a little sip…

Ais is a voracious beast and doesn’t try to hide his vampiric nature even a little bit. Everyone knows he’s dangerous, and everyone avoids him like the plague. And naturally, Ais with Vere is…horrifying. There’s a lot of begging for him to give mercy and let them live, but he’s no fool. If he lets too many of his victims live, then surely people will find a way to gang up on him. While that’s an interesting proposition, he’s not sure he wants to fight a dozen weak-ass humans when he’d much rather fight someone of his own caliper; humans are just too pathetic. When he meets MC, he’s constantly teasing them with flashes of his long fangs. “Scared? Should be, little sparrow,” he says, scrubbing dried blood off of his knuckles. He even sneaks up to feed from them, thinking MC will just be another victim, but somehow becomes smitten with their taste instead. They should be savored. It’s much more satisfying tasting them on occasion than devouring them whole so quickly.

Kuras is meticulous. He’s very much prone to drawing blood through proper means and drinking it from simple testing tubes in shot-like doses. If a patient needs a transfusion or a blood test, he’ll simply take an extra vial or two as payment. Yes, he feels guilty at first, but he can’t allow himself to starve when he needs to help the people of Eridia as a consequence of his terrible past. When MC is discovered practically bled out and armless, he makes sure to put them back together and doesn’t take a sample, not even a little, but he strongly considers it. He even has to wipe drool from his lips because they simply smell so strongly of beautiful blood. When they get closer to him and realize his true nature, he offers little more than a calm smile. “Would you like to sustain me as well, or do you prefer our current partnership instead?”

[nthspecialll]

American Venom, what happened?

When it comes to American Venom there are about as many theories as there are players of red dead two, so I would like to give my two cents of thoughts and we are going to start with Dutch.

Why was Dutch Van Der Linde together with Micah Bell? The man who helped cause the downfall of his family, the man who he turned his back on and left on a mountain, the man he hadn't spoken to for eight years? Why were they speaking? I think we find the answer with Arthur.

John says himself that Dutch Van Der Linde is a very colorful character, yet also points out that he might not be any longer because what happened changed all of them. And I think he is very correct here, Dutch is a colorful man, or was a colorful man. The Dutch that we knew from before the downfall would never go eight entire years without drawing attention to himself, yet he did now. He changed.

Dutch went eight years keeping to himself, hiding in a cave probably, all alone, without a gang for the first time since 1875. I wonder what one does when isolating oneself for eight years. I imagne one thinks.

I think that Dutch spent all that time thinking, most likely about what happened with the gang and Arthur. I am not the best at facial expressions but I don't think it was anger that he looked at Arthur with in the high honor staying with John. It looked more like regret, frustration, sorrow. The curl of the brow, his entire face squinting together around the nose, that is a face I have only seen in people who just realized or heard something they wish they hadn't.

The way he looks at Micah too, it isn't anger, it isn't surprise... It is just... Hurt. I don't think in this moment he realized Micah was the rat, I just think he realized that he had been foolish, his family was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

I don't think he thought "Micah, you betrayed me" I think he thought "Micah... I failed them."

When finally having time to think, I think Dutch realized something, no matter how much he liked to think otherwise, Arthur was still his son and he failed him. No matter how many fancy words and fancy speeches he created he still couldn't save the people whom he had cared for. I don't think he necessarily thought he had done wrong, I think he just thought he hadn't done enough.

When it comes to American Venom itself, I think he was there for closure, maybe even revenge. I don't think he was there necessarily to kill Micah in the end but maybe more to find out what really happened, to hear it from another person. I do however think he was ready to kill Micah if the answer wasn't something he liked, such as Micah's talk of "cutting off the weak" or "it had to happen" because Dutch never believed that, even in the end.

That said, I do not think he had planned on doing it when he did, I think the timing was a split-second decision. Was it because he didn't know Arthur was dead? No, he knew, but I do have two theories here.

One, the human mind is great at one thing and it is protecting itself, pushing away the memories that simply hurts too much. You know but you don't know, you don't accept. One thing is knowing Arthur is dead but being able to push it away and doubt your own mind, maybe, maybe he did survive, another thing is hearing someone say it, someone acknowledge it, someone making it real even though it was already real all along. That shock could easily have driven that decision.

Second, Arthur was Dutch's son and I don't think he expected Micah to joke and taunt his death. A man whom he already had a complicated relationship with, taunted his son, it can't have been a hard choice.

What about John and Sadie? I don't think Dutch cared much about them in the end, but why would he care for Arthur and not John? Dutch cannonly thinks John is the rat, I imagine he just saw Arthur as a follower, as someone manipulated by John, that is my belief. Does he still think John was the rat in the end? Maybe, I don't think he cared.

He used to be a man of ideals but as he said himself "I don't have much to say anymore." It was ideals that drove him but he doesn't have them anymore and I think he realized it doesn't matter who did what, it doesn't change anything and so far revenge hasn't done him anything good.

The loss of ideals was what changed Dutch and that is my two cents of thoughts.

[dsaf-confessions]

I've been in the dsaf fandom for a year or two by now lol. but like I've only been lurking and...some fans take dsaf TOO seriously. Like, no hate. none at all. but,, I wish people acknowledged more often that Dayshift at freddy's at it's core, is silly. like, all three games are full of jokes (some less than others) and that's the original premise. Yeah, there's the serious lore bits and all.. but what about the SILLY bits? Can we have the silly bits appreciated? Jack can piss for 15 minutes straight, Dave ate an entire ashtray of lit cigarette butts and lost his sense of taste after, ALL the phone guys were programmed to say "darn" and "heckin'!" as a substitute for swearing, and Dee is a tickler (not ticklish, a TICKLER she tickled Dave til his springlocks went off in the premature ending, and she can tickle Jack when in the suit to set it off if you don't wind the box). Henry is the reason why they have cameras in the fazbender's bathrooms.

I love seeing the serious bits too, but I wish people spent as much time with the silly bits as the serious ones. Even when it comes to making your own silly bits!!! Like, yess!!!! Go write that Undertale!DSAF AU. Go write about Dave and Jack as kitchen appliances. Go write about what you headcannon Dee's favorite songs and movies are. Go write about Jack having magical princess half wolf demon powers. EVEN WITH THE PAINTINGS!!! I saw a drawing of Dave and Jack in sailor moon get up and they killed it. absolutely. I know the dsaf artists out here are killing it with their art, it's all amazing and I have lovingly gazed at all of them before. and yes!!!!! Go RP as Peter Kennedy having a deep carnal desire for bird watching, go RP as Harry Fitzergald enjoying himself at an aquarium, go RP as Dave Miller spending hours trying to figure out how air fryers work so he can give it a shot at building one at home.

Please do anything your heart desires!!!!! You can look out the car window with your headphones in and listen to music while imagining sad sfms of the characters and keep it to yourself. But if you wish to share, just now that there's people out there that have been wishing someone would create what they've been imagining too!!! Make your funky spotify character playlists!! Even your youtube music ones!! Because there will be someone out there who thinks the same as you and enjoys them the same as you !!

I live for the serious ones too. Please, go write that heartfelt fic about Dave yearning for his soulless friend's presence in the afterlife. Please, go write about Jack despairing that he doesn't just stop existing after death, and is stuck in a void. Please, go write about Dee speaking to the gang in afterlife about how she wishes she had a longer childhood, and how she is sad that the very few things that made her childhood a childhood is gone and that she can never truly have it back( jack, and all the friends and lovely gifts and animals and all the joy). Please, go write about DaveTrap surviving the fire in the good ending and being miserable because no matter how much he was angry and hateful, he missed Jack, he missed having a quarrel with him, he missed asking just one more time, if Jack wanted to kill kiddins' with him, and then him having to visit Jack's grave and despairing that Jack had never lied when he told him his name. And then DaveTrap sees the other graves, all the other ones, of the kids that died at fazbender's because of fazbender's. And he also sees a grave bearing his own name. His real name. And it was right next to four other graves, of people who's names rang bells in his ears, of people with a last name he recognized, of people he remembered betting on whether or not they'll die with Henry.

AHHH I think this might be too long. i just love ranting about my ideas because as much as i have a love for writing, i can never execute the ideas. they are cursed to forever be just an idea i can share to my friends who don't like dsaf but like hearing my rambles.

So, whoever is reading this, please go enjoy the games as much as you wish!! enjoy the silly AND the serious side !!!!!

.

[pranabefall]

ノㅤA FOREIGNER'S GOD // zhongli x reader.

syn. bingyin finds himself with a broken child and a fuller house post performance ( and you...you are a little lost ).

CONTENT WARNINGS. ( 2.14k ) implied parental death, landslides, one traumatized child, brief mentions of grief, reader's nation of origin is left ambiguous ( though my indulgent ass does lowkey hc the sumeru gang ), grumpy old men. the chapter is relatively tame. no zhongli yet hehe. the art within the chapter, save for the banner, belongs to me. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS WITHIN THE CHAPTER LIST.

ENTRIES. reposting this piece from my old account!!! wish me luck!!! this work has been marked mature. readers below the age of 18 / ageless blogs, do not interact. any individual who is not a legal adult or has an age indicator on their page will be blocked without further notice. artwork used in this chapter belongs to me!!!

LINKS. chapter list ノ ao3 ノ next »

PROLOGUE : his garment is covered in dust.

"open thine eyes and see thy god is not before thee! he is there where the tiller is tilling the hard ground and where the path-maker is breaking stones. he is with them in sun and in shower, and his garment is covered with dust. put off thy holy mantle and even like him come down on the dusty soil!"

― GITANJALI 11 , RABINDRANATH TAGORE.

There is a story the young ones love — of the heavens, a god and a chariot of gold filigree. 

It was told to him in passing once, when he asked about a streak across a painting ( the rice paper had blotted at the edges with ink. The grass had bled into the fallows ). The painter was an old man. Too old, perhaps, to be holding a brush and hobbling to the stepped terraces of Qingce. But Bingyin could appreciate that flavor of stubbornness that steadied those trembling fingers. The man talked about his children first, then his wife, then the fallen sun and the yawning chasm. He listened in turn, because stories were meant to be heard and now he tells it to his audience.

Today, there is another to follow the usual. The sun chariot was a mainstay. The children like skyward carriage crashes for some reason ( is it inherent violence? A sadistic pleasure in divine accidents? He is worried ) and they liked dragons more. So this one has a dragon. 

A dragon encrusted with cor lapis and a mountain cave that cloistered its coiling wreathe. 

It was an undulating, glimmering thing. The skin puppet he carved out and painted was long, segmented and his hands ached navigating the way it flies and flies and flies ( dragons fly a lot. Far too much for his tastes. Damn dragons ). 

But Bingyin could see the clapping through the thin screen, hear the laughter. He keeps singing. He sings about the flooded plains and the guided people and the mountain erected at the harbour’s head. Then he sings about how the dragon retreated into Jueyun Karst once more, curling under the cavernous tunnels like jade pressed to the earth.

His voice is hoarse when he stops and the cheers ring out. The puppets were tucked away. He stretches out his arms and feels the throbbing press on before it fades. It was another day of work for him. Tomorrow, he’d be working the tea slopes then returning home with a new story to tell and it would grasp and grind at his mind till he writes it down and forgets it’s existence. Perhaps he’d make a few new puppets, perhaps not.

This time though, when he gathers the last of his spoils, he sees Haoran lingering by the wooden seats, and you, still too young to properly let your feet touch the ground below. Bingyin had seen that look on your face, and he’d seen the mud caking your shoes and hem. They shouldn’t belong to a child. Not those eyes. Not those distant, dead eyes. 

“Is there something you want?” he tries to pack faster despite this. His drum rolls to his feet. Bingyin tries to right it up again, half flailing like a winded octopus. 

“Yes.” Haoran nods with a solemn set to his mouth. Why does he look like that? Bingyin thinks with a frantic shriek echoing at the back of his mind. He peers into his mora bag, at the glint of metal peering back up, then at you wearily. Why am I being stared at? Stop. Stop staring. “Could we have a moment of your time please?”

“No. I’m busy now. You should have been quicker.”

“Please.” 

Oh hell to it.

Bingyin puts on a show of tempered frustration and glares at Haoran with his lips pressed to a harsh line. He needs to crane his neck up a bit. That foolish boy was a head taller than him with a gangly set of arms to match. You are attached at one end like a leech struggling to keep up. “Alright. Don’t waste my time.” 

“Okay.” words stumble over themselves. “Do you recall the rains a few days prior? They were particularly heavy weren’t they?” 

“Yes.” he wasn't stupid. He could see rain just fine. 

“Well…” Haoran casts a glance at you. There is pity there. It’s cloying and it’s unpleasantly thick. You seem to disappear within the shadow cast upon you, small, so small and so fish eyed. “There was a landslide at Juehyun Karst and a few travelers were caught within it. This little one lost their parents.”

Haoran’s voice drops to a whisper. He talks about it like it’s forbidden. A taboo. A cover up. He doesn’t mean it. Bingyin can’t quite judge a fool’s pragmatics and Haoran was well intentioned in keeping you separate from something dour. But Haoran’s pragmatics were meant to be judged at this point because he was, in fact, terrible at it.

“They can still hear you,” Bingyin points out. He is right. You can. You are trembling. His story was about the Karst too, wasn’t it? He wonders if you heard it and he hopes to the wayward gods that you did not. “Why are you telling me this?”

“They meant to come to Chenyu Vale. They meant to come here…them and their parents. They were tea farmers…” Archons. “Yes, yes I'm getting to it. Their parents knew your wife.”

Bingyin stills. 

“My wife?” he repeats.

“Your wife…oh don't look at me like that Mr. Bingyin.” Haoran helplessly looks between the two of you. Bingying shuffles in place, discomfort edging his stance. He feels flayed open. 

“And…?”

Haoran blinks. “I…well…that’s all I suppose. We were hoping…they’re still a child, you see…”

He knows what he’s asking for. He knows why he’s asking it. Bingyin seizes up and his throat runs dry. He thinks of the mora tucked away in his cupboard and the supplies it would buy for the week. Just enough for two. Not three. 

“No. Absolutely not.” he decides then and there. 

“But.” Haoran begins a protest. Bingyin cuts him off. 

“We have no time for children,” he states.

“You could ask your wife first — ”

“And she’ll say the same thing.” His words are sharp, metallic, cold. They shudder against the impact like a weak knife. “We have no time for children. Find someone else. A relative. Where are they from?” He doesn’t bother listening to what comes next. The conversation is dead at this point. Still the footsteps behind him persist between Bingyin navigating the stone walled houses. There was white at his periphery and the mountain green of Haotan’s hanfu and the flashes of your clothes after. A perpetual annoyance

Stubborn little —

“You wouldn’t abandon a child!”

“I don’t even know them!” 

“They have no one else!”

“You seem eager to find them a home. You have a perfectly decent one!”

Haoran throws his hands up. They are drawing gazes at this point; the beady eyed, nosey sorts. People will be talking after this in the rumor mill. “Someone needs to go to the harbor to sell your tea. I cannot ferry the youngling with me on my travels!” 

“You’re just a coward! I’m old and frail and near death! I can't keep up with a child!” he spares a glance your way. “No offense kid. Strangers and their dangers, I suppose.” You almost look pensive as you nod. Maybe you being ‘perceived as a threat’ was taken as a vague flattery. Bingyin can’t quite tell. He swears under his breath. There is a bitter aftertaste. He despises it, how his movements slow and let Haoran and you clumsily keep up.

( He’s worked his craft and walked these beaten paths for years. Bingyin still can’t quite call himself jaded. Not yet. )

“Their mother was one of her students.” Haoran continues. “We managed to salvage a few belongings and there was a photo…” He fumbles, unfolding a faded bit of paper. Bingyin recognized the younger face of his wife sidled up next to a smiling girl ( she was dead now. He looks at you again. You don’t look at the photo. You do not want to ). He gives pause, lets that bat around his mind.

( He remembers the letters. He remembers Nayao talking about a visitor. His stomach lurches. It’s unpleasant. )

Finally, he speaks. “You can stay for tea. We will see what we can do.” 

Haoran’s shoulders sag. “Oh.” and there is relief there, clear relief like witnessing the rainclouds shadow scorched lands. “Oh thank you.”

Bingyin only shuts his eyes and utters a sound of defeat.

The walk home took longer than it should have. Your shoes kept getting stuck in the mud and your small hands were caked with it till the lines of your wrists. Bingyin tries not to mind. Children stumble and fall and he watches you straighten yourself up with a near robotic stiffness and pace after him. He half wonders if you died in that landslide too. He half wonders if you were just a ghost. 

Nayao, perhaps, was the softness you might have needed, between Haoran’s awkward comfort and his own brittle countenance. She lets you clean up by the basin and warm up by the stove and let the pleasant heat of tea brew spot your skin. By the time Haoran had left, she was already reaching for the mat and spare sheets.

“So he wasn’t lying then?” he asks. 

“No.” she replies. He rests his hand on her shoulders. There is a weight to her voice. She seems ready to cry and she almost does, between her furtive wiping. “I did know her…”

“I suppose we’ll be caring for them, then.” Bingyin reasons. Because there was a cruel world behind these walls and no other face to have you. Nayao had made up her mind. Bingyin knows he can’t protest. She had the same stubbornness that painter did. 

He visits your little space with a blanket. You were curled up and a little shaken and swept, and still quiet. 

“Thank you.” you mumble. It’s the first words you tell him. Bingyin jerks his head. 

“Don’t. It’s the least we could do.”

Your hold on that single photo tightens. You’re shaking, shaking, shaking and Bingyin knows that you want to cry. Not now though. Not in front of him. “You’ll be living with us. At least until another relative comes to take you…if there are any.”

“I can do things.” you continue, half rambling. It’s almost obsessive. “I can work…my father was in a tea farm too…Mr. Haoran told you right so of course you do, and I helped him a lot. We grew lots of things and…and…”

Bingyin considers you. His lips press. “I think that’s child labour.” he admits. “No, it actually is. And it’s quite illegal. Do you really want to do that?”

You fold into yourself, hands clasped and trembling. You look raw, scraped hollow. “I don’t want to stay.”

“I know.”

“You’re really mean.” you sniffle, wipe at your eyes and squeeze them shut. “And you lie.”

Bingyin tilts his head. “Did I lie?” he intones. He didn’t speak to you much before this. There was no room to lie.

“You lied about the dragon.” you repeat. “You lied about the dragon in that show. There’s no dragon there….otherwise…” you trail off. The tears start prickling through. Your shoulders hunch and your nose prickles, fighting back against it. You sound sad, raw, lost. “Are they really gone?”

“Seems so, yes.” he tries to be as kind as he can. However there is so much he could be kind about with a question like that. Dead means dead and sugarcoating it meant rubbing salt over an unwanted wound. He is brittle, a little rough, yes, but he is not soulless. “And that was just a story. It’s not real. I’m sorry if it made you sad.”

“There is no dragon then?” you seem heartbroken, saying that. .

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, there isn’t a dragon. Just a few vishaps, yes but they spend their days letting the sun burn their backs.”

“If there was….would he have saved my parents?”

Bingyin looks you in the eyes. “Maybe. They said he was a god. Can’t be sure if gods exist, but I think he would have.” They don’t exist though. There were a few who did believe, perhaps. Once upon a time, he did too and those stories were a greedy mouthful after mouthful of assurance. But if Liyue did once hold gods within its mountain scathed scape, Bingyin assumes they were long gone.

You lay down against your mat. Bingyin lets you be, lets Nayao soothe you with some cut fruit and a few kinder words. You take them quietly, delicately picking at the sunsettia flesh and the sweet juice till a half empty plate was politely pushed away and you face the wall. 

When they both leave you be, they hear a faint sob ring out. Nayao leans her head against his shoulder.

They linger by the door and let you cry. 

please do not rework, repost to other websites without prior permission, steal or feed this work to AI.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

5, 14, 15, 17

More outsiders asks? Heck yeah!

5. What are your favourite ships?

a) Curly Shepard x Ponyboy Curtis- idk why other than the fact that fanon Curly seems to balance out Ponyboy perfectly, and that I read a Curly fit on ffn when I was like fifteen that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry

b) Steve Randle x Sodapop Curtis- I don’t like any other within gang ship but Soda and Steve make sense to me and ngl my closeted ass clocked them as gay when I was reading the book because of the ‘pillow fight’ scene. I genuinely answered a comprehension question in class like ‘Ponyboy’s naïveté is shown through the fact he believes soda never drinks and that Soda and Steve were having a pillow fight when they slept together’ and my teacher had to be like oh sweetie no….

c) Marcia x Two-bit Matthews- Not a HUGE fan but they had such chemistry and I wish that could’ve been explored. I’m actually working on a fit about them rn, just because I wanna explore Marcia’s psyche. She was fun :)

14. Five headcanons I basically see as canon

a) Steve is secretly SUPER protective of Ponyboy, partially because he knows Sodapop would never be ok if something ever happened to Pony and he couldn’t stand it if Soda’s spark ever went out, but also because he wants Ponyboy to have the happy childhood he never had.

b) Darry absolutely dotes on Ponyboy, even though he’s strict, he’s lenient about letting Pony go places and works overtime to make sure he can afford to get Ponyboy everything he needs (and some stuff he simply wants), especially after Windrixville.

c) Johnny Cade is scary looking. Full stop. The gang just doesn’t see him that way so it doesn’t show in Ponyboy’s narration

d) Dallas Winston had a good mom and a happy childhood and her death was the catalyst that made him into the hoodlum he was.

e) Sodapop Curtis absolutely drinks, Ponyboy just doesn’t believe he does and Soda is not anxious to correct him because he doesn’t want Ponyboy to see him differently

15. Five headcanons that are entirely self-indulgent

a) Angela Shepard and Curly Shepard have to share a room because Tim refuses to share with anyone. Neither of them actually hates it half as much as they pretend they do.

b) Part of why Curly and Ponyboy became close was because Ponyboy was struggling with getting over his concussion, and the side effects were really stressful for him (dizzy spells, blurry vision, absentmindedness) and Curly kinda helped him with it because Curly spent 90% of his childhood concussed so he knew what Pony was going through

c) Tim Shepard and Sylvia are best friends and would kill for each other but not die for each other. However, they would avenge each other’s deaths.

d) Steve Randle wishes more than anything in the world that Darry Curtis was actually his irl older brother 

e) Two-bit’s little sister HATES Ponyboy Curtis because her older brother spends more time playing older brother to him than he spends actually being an older brother to her.

17. Are there any criticisms or salt you have with the book?

My criticisms with the book lie with the author. SE Hinton has proven to be homophobic and racist, and its written into the book, which is my biggest issue. I love the story of The Outsiders but do not want to support Hinton or her harmful, bigoted ideology under any circumstances. (For anyone out there who wants a copy of the book but doesn’t want to support Hinton, you can find a free pdf online, all you gotta do is google it)

On a slightly lighter note, I would have loved to have seen more of the female characters in the book. Marcia in particular had so much potential, and I wish we’d seen one actual scene with Sandy or Sylvia.

Thanks for the ask!!!!!

[ehh-is-the-name]

Watching ii-17 right before bed was a mistake

So gang I'm crying.

You know the drill, bad spoilers under the cut.

Im gonna try to go in order..? Maybe I don't know. I'm so serious when I say I've lost the will to live. They pulled the plug and it's all gone. Show's over.

I'll try to relight my inner flame and have more energy as I go through the ep piece by piece, but please understand I am literally crying while I write all this.

Starting strong

Knife just doing what we wish we could </3

This is gonna be Cobs and Mephone centric- ok. You already know I'm a Meeple head and this actually is gonna torment me forever and ever and things are never going to be ok ever again, I can't belive this is actually the end guys I'm spiralling hel-

Did I ever say how much I hate this cob of corn?

I don't even have the energy to explain the parallels here, if you've been watching you get it. You know how this corn shucker is. The "Don't talk to them like that" being a response 'cause that's how he's always been talked down to.... the generational abuse did stop at this ep I guess. Not how we wanted tho.

Actually heartbreaking- like that whole thing. I'm glad he got out of the closet and tried to help but... I'm so sorry y'all all I see is the grass field with him sitting in it and I can;t stop thinking about it. He can't go back. He can't- It's supposed to get better for him. things are supposed ot be ok. they were all supposed to be fine I don't know why it's like this I cna't belive this is how it's ending. I know there might be more but also the possibility there;s not is overwhelming I don't i cant-

IS THE PHENOMES A SLUR FOR THE SHIMMERS???

I got into convo with a friend over this, but think about it. Cobs is literally known as their oppressor, and "the phenomes" is "what he always calls them", even though they so clearly go by the shimmers, and he DEFINITELY knows that by now.

Same friend I was arguing with was telling me that:

The word “phenom” means something/someone with a really talented skill. Perhaps this slur means something like real useful tool or something

Which, if their name to Cobs is specifically about being a tool of his then... idk man. Sounds kinda derogatory to me! Though I think anything this cob of corn says sounds derogatory to me. I keep trying to not just be a cob hater, but guys I think I'm a little justified in blind hatred now. I mean come on-

He litterally does this, and then practically begs Mephone to scream and cry and explode and-

Like is that not evil behaviour? Is that not behaviour justifying this reaction?

When I say this show makes me crazy- AOUGHGh.

On a different note before I get into the ending. I was telling this friend that like... just look at this frame

Like he actually looks insane. Like think about it y'all. Years poured into this and he's laughing to himself as he tries to make two "fake" people fight to the death. His glasses are broken, he's up on some abraham lincoln ass booth watching this all go down with a crazed smile. This man has gone inanimate insane. Inanimate insanity has made this man insane.

.

...

.

I would also like to say before I get into the next part, I have such a visceral reaction to this because mephone is was my hope (cringe and sad I know), but quite literally me but with mephone himself

He gave me hope for a future but I fucking guess not </3

The fear in Mephone's eyes as Cobs just so plainly says to come along, like everything wasn't just shattered.

I've seen people say it's like a kid being told to pack it up and start heading home, but it's more than that. God. Please tell me you see it's more than that. This guy ran away from a terrible situation, tried to cope with the trauma (not in a healthy way but still tried) and his abuser's bringing him right back home.

Just... Just look at him in the gif, that's not just "some kid being sad" there's more to that. This whole interaction solidifies the fact there's nowhere safe for him. Even in the world he made, nothing- Nothing could stop his abuser from reaching him. He couldn't run far enough, he couldn't hide well enough. He just has to accept his fate. He has to go "home", even though his was destroyed.

I don't know how to stay hopeful after this episode, but I'll try to stay alive just for the chance of an act 3 or epilogue or something. It's 4 am as I type this. I started this ep at 12:30 am. This show has proved to be the reigning champion of my mental spiralling. I beg this phone can leave but.... you know how it is-

and ironically enough the ad that I got on this episode...

Anyway,

Closing thoughts: Can't believe Adam, Justin, and Brian are fake, and homophobic for killing off most of the bright light polycule. I mean, that's just classic bury your gays trope right there and smh. Thought they'd do better. Gonna go fall off a waterfall Airy-style since we just can't help having hfjone parallels now. Night, everyone.

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 1 Part 2 (2/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

MORI OGAI

Yes, he's a horrible person but gd is it cool to see him get serious. I'm excited every time he shows up. Traumatised like The important character in the series and also multiple others. I still like him. He is canonically a pedophile so… understandable why people hate him but also he's fictional and a great character. And yeah, every time he gets brought up people will in fact get called bad for liking him.

BENNY

The first thing that happens in new vegas is that benny fucking shoots your character in the face, steals your shit and leaves you in an open grave. Benny is by all accounts a bastard. He kills you, steals from you, he killed his last boss, he is the single most duplicitous man around. His gang are all about honesty- except him. He's a lying, cheating bastard. The guys who helped him catch you? He skipped on paying them and left them to get shot to death. His new boss, mr.house? He stole his robot, broke it open, got someone to reprogram it and decided to use it to TAKE OVER THE WHOLE OF VEGAS. Benny literally kills people, lies to people, steals their shit and takes charge. That's all benny does. He gets fucking CRUCIFIED if you don't help him out just because so many people fucking hate him. And yet. And yet. Benny is the single most compelling character in the whole game to me. He's just a little guy! He's just there! You can get shot in the head and come back and he goes "what in the goddamn" and then if you try and flirt with him he's like "uhhh sure? Okay?" And leaves you a polite note in the morning. He's fancy. He wears a stupid suit. He has a tiny gun with shitty bullets. He's catholic. He talks like an old timey news presenter. Literally nobody else in the entire game does that. He's got an intelligence of 3. He's my funtime boy. My silly little man. He's so funny. The antagonist in this game is a guy dressed like a tablecloth who looks at all times like a confused dog who doesn't understand what a tv is. And like. He's compelling. He robs from you, shoots you, but…. he never seems to actually wish you harm. He kills and robs and lies but like. He apologises for doing it to you. When he sees you again he doesn't attack you, he's just… confused. He tries to defuse the situation. You can convince him to talk to you, alone, with no guards and it's not that hard. If you spare his life, he doesn't go after you, like. Even if you sleep with him he doesn't take advantage of that and kill you, even if you try to. He… he just leaves. He gives you an apology. If he gets kidnapped by Caesar He just… apologizes again. He tells you his whole plan to take over the city, too. He thinks he'll die, and he wants something of him to survive. He's happy that you made it. And if you let him free, he just… leaves. He knows he's beat, he doesn't want to cause any more trouble. He walks out and leaves. The NCR will kill you if you cross them. The legion will crucify you. House? He'll blow you the fuck up. But benny, the guy who lies and cheats and schemes, he's honest. He's polite. He's… harmless. You can kill him with a single shot if you want. And he can't kill you. He doesn't kill you the first time, and he'll never really hurt you again. Benny just wanted to win. When he knows he's beat he just leaves. No lingering, no harm, he's off, off into the desert heat, and never seen again. Isn't that just insane? like have you ever known an antagonist so polite? He just leaves!! He offers you a drink!! His plan is genuinely probably the best one for the people of new vegas!!! He's. Benny is Benny.

Anyway if you want to see some REAL propaganda go to the blog @letmebegaytodd and look in the #benny tag. You'll Understand < https://www.tumblr.com/letmebegaytodd/717051175751614464/in-another-life-i-wouldve-really-liked-just> <- look at this shit man

pollrunner's note: yet again another case of ''it's all supposed to be one quote block, but tumblr hates me''

[ourpreciousthings]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭

Rating: 18+

Summary: Your neighbour hood best friend invited you to stay at the Millers, what could be so bad about staying with someone you have known since high school? How could a late-night swim change everything?

Word count: 27,807

CW: Dom!Joel, Sub!Reader, Basically Porn, Chocking, daddy!k!ink (if you squint), Pet Names, Praise!k!nk, Degration!kInk, Metions Of Physical@buse, Sir!k!nk, Unprotected P in V (wrap it before you tap it kids), Breeding!k!nk (if you squint), Porn With Mild Plot... Let me know if I forgot anything, thank you all and I love you!

A/N: Some parts feel rushed but I hope you enjoy it overall! P.S. I decided to just make this a oneshot instead of a small shitty seires and I got some people saying that they couldn't find some of them and I think that's for the best for this one.

Pairing: DBF/BSFD!Joel Miller X f!reader (No outbreak) (Joel is 40 and Reader is 21)

“I told you I can go to my aunt's place for the break,” “and I told you my dad insisted, he wouldn’t want you to spend summer break alone,” she cocked her perfectly shaped brow. “Sarah, I have known your dad for the longest time, and I know he wouldn’t. I just don’t want to be a bother,” I huff as the cruel heat of Dallas fills my lungs. “You? A bother? Never, he adores you, maybe a bit too much but I mean he enjoys the company, just make an old man happy,” she tucked a blonde lock behind her ear. “Okay, I mean I guess it’s better than staying with Aunt Marry in San Antonio,” “you got that right,” she scoffed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

Spending summer with a hot Joel Miller, not how I choose to spend my time relaxing. How can I even relax when he is strutting around the house in those tight shirts that stick to his muscular body as a light layer of sweat coats his skin? I down the last of my beer as Sarah stood from the pool. 

“Hey, guess who is coming over?” She asked in a whisper, “well if you’re whispering, I guess your dad won’t like them,” I look up from my tilted shades.

“Just guess,” “who?” “The whole gang,” she hummed to herself. “There is no way everyone is in town by coincidence, you set this up,” I said in more of a statement than a question shifting in my seat. “You would have said no if I told you Mitchy was coming,” I hate when she put aside my feelings to please others, just for her own pleasure at times... “Yeah, no shit Sarah-” 

“Hey girls, there are some boys looking for you” his deep voice drew my eyes from an irritated Sarah. 

“They aren’t my guest now are they?” “It’s okay, I got it,” she hopped up, rushing past Joel “so I take it you didn’t really want to be here huh?” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “No, I mean yes I did, I do. I just didn’t think she would invite people who don’t treat us like people to spend the break with,” I scoff, staring at the pool...

“I can tell them to leave if you want,” he said sitting in the empty chair next to me “god no, she would kill us both for doing that,” “I really am glad you came to stay with us even if Sarah just wants to hang out with other people,” he said with a soft smile that warms my body, shaking it off as I quickly stand.

"You okay?” “Yeah, just need another beer,” I groaned, walking through the sliding doors. I want to say that I wish I had stayed at the dorms, but a small part of me knows I can’t stay away from him.

“Hey, long time no see,” his voice interrupted my thoughts. “Hey Mitchel, yeah, it’s been a long time,” “so I just wanted to say-” “Save it, please I just want to relax and enjoy the Sun,” I held the neck of the beer bottle with a death grip. 

“Hey, I was just trying to be nice,” he held his hands up in defence.

“Why are you even here, Mitch?” I scoff, tilting my head. “Sarah invited me, and last time I remembered this is her house, not yours, but Sarah is the one who sent me over here, so if you want to be mad, be mad at her,” he scoffed, turning on his heels.

The thought of Sarah doing this to you again hurt, but not as much as the reminder that you have no place here.

“So you and Mitchel, huh?” His eyes piercing through me as if he knew what set me off. “What?” “I saw you and Wright's boy talkin’ so I thought you know, y’all were a thing,” was it the beer or could you see a small glint of jealousy in his eyes? No, it couldn’t be, he is too good for you.

“No, Sarah might have said that, but we are not a thing,” I plopped myself down on to my now warm tanning chair. “Oh,” is all he said before standing and walking away. 

-

The sun had set hours ago, but the heat hasn’t let up. The water of the pool shining through my window catches my eye, the thought of swimming sounds so perfect right now. I slowly open the door to keep the quiet night at bay, I leave my door ajar as I see a small light from Joel’s tv shining from under his door.

It was easy to sneak past the doors and through the quiet house to the sliding doors that led to the pool that had been calling my name. I quickly discard my small shorts and crop v-neck, slowly stepping into the water, letting out a soft groan at the cooling water around my heated skin.

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A swift movement caught my attention as I sank deeper into the water, I scanned my window slowly, moving over to the window next to it.

Joel’s window. And boy was that a sight to see, he was jerking off. He was pounding into his hand as his head was thrown back and mouth agape...

Without thinking, my hand snaked down my body to the waistband of my panties. The sight was so beautiful. I wonder what he sounded like, what he tasted like, how he would feel on my tongue...

Fuck, I wonder what he looks like coming undone. As if he could hear my thoughts, he turned more to the window, shooting his load in three long ropes. His head hanging low as he clenched his fist on his beautiful body.

I lowly moan, dragging my finger over my sensitive bud, drawing fast circles. My release begging to crash through my body.

"Fuck..” I gasp, resting my head on the side of the pool “fuck me,” I shudder, eyes rolling to the back of my head as the thought of his strong hands running over my body, owning my body, making me cum in so many ways that I have never even thought of “shit,” I cried out, orgasm taking over.

I ride out my high slowly, opening my eyes, seeing a small shadow where Joel had stood now closer to the window...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

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Rushing out of the pool, collecting my clothes, and quickly drying myself off. Scurrying up the stairs as quietly as I can to avoid talking to Joel, who I watched jerk off, who I came undone to at the thought of his hands on me...

I close the door just in time, hearing his door across the hall open slightly, mumbling something as he shut it once again... I. Am. Screwed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The bright sun shining through the window, beaming onto my face makes me groan, rolling over onto my stomach. “Shit.” The clock on the nightstand reminded me that I have to face the man of my dreams and now nightmares...

I drag myself down the stairs, groaning at the smell of sweetness coming from the kitchen. “Hey, dad left for work already so I thought I would make us some breakfast before meeting up with the guys” “the guy’s?” “Yeah... Zoe, Carter, and Mitchel,” she said so calmly, flipping the pancake. 

“No, I am not going. My plan is to unwind and have some peace and quiet. I will not find that spending my precious time with my ex and the one he cheated on me with!” I slam my fist on the kitchen table. 

“look, I am sorry-” “No you’re not, just go have fun. I’ll be fine by myself,” I huff, taking a beer from the fridge “I always am,” I muttered in search of the bottle opener.

-

Three beers in I decided to let my feeling get in the way... Having felt bad for drinking almost all of Joel’s cold beverages, I have found myself in a quiet bar and it isn’t even 4 PM...

“Look darlin’, you can keep drinking or go home but you can’t stay here,” he said with a thicker southern accent “I thought I was your favorite customer Sean,” “you are, because you know your limit and I think you are trying to get passed that right now but I can’t have you drinking and driving sweetness,” he laughed throwing a towel on his shoulder. “Lucky for you I’m walking,” I give a half-hearted smile.

“Fine drink up, we close in 40 minutes after that I will drop you off at home,” “hmm not home, the Millers,” “the Millers? You’re stayin’ at the Millers?” “Yeah, Sarah wanted me to stay,” “you’re still friends with that kid?” “Just because I am a year older than her doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with her,” “that’s not what I mean-” “I know what you mean and we are not gonna talk about it,” I bark at him “yes ma’am,” he scoffed backing away.

-

“Okay, pack it up we are out of here,” he said handing me a bottle of water “thank you Sean,” “no need to thank me darlin’, I am here for you and you know that,” he said locking the door. “So does your dad know you’re stayin’ there?” “Sean,” I gave a warning glare “hey I’m just askin’,” “no, he doesn’t and he doesn’t know what happened either so just don’t Sean,” “wow, that’s a lot to keep darlin’,” “yeah you get used to it I guess,” “hey I have known you for your whole life, things like this never happened to you and now you are suddenly so calm and collected. Damn collage really does change you, the 18-year-old you would have raised hell, and I would have loved every second of it,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around me.

The ride is silent, but it feels right. “I hate drinking,” I stare out the window, leaning my head back. “Why?” “It allows my brain to think about things I choose to keep hidden in the back of my mind,” like the fact that I have a hot man across the hall from me and he also caught me watching him come undone. The thought of last night made me cringe.

“Okay, let’s take your mind off of that, how is Dallas? How’s school?” “School is great, umm nothing much there. Dallas I love it, it’s fun and crazy.” 

“Any boyfriend?” “no, no boyfriend,” I scoff, “really?” He made quick glances my way. I searched his face, expecting any sign of mockery, there is none... 

“Yes really, those kids aren’t for me,” “kids? You’re a kid honey,” he laughed “yeah don’t remind me,” “why do you say that?” “I feel much older than I am, like I hang out with all these kids and all they want to do is party and know who is fucking who? And I just-” 

“Want to be alone with some quiet time?” “Yes! And they can even wrap their heads around that,” “look, just don’t worry about it you will have your whole life to be alone with your thoughts,” “no, peace and quiet, my thoughts are not quiet,” I shake my head laughing.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The car ride is something I needed. To talk to someone who isn’t so self absorbed, so clingy, so Sarah...

“Thank you Sean, I mean it,” “you never have to thank me dear, I enjoyed talkin’ to you,” he said unfastening his seat belt “what are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doin’? I am goin’ to walk you to the door silly,” he laughed, hopping out the truck.

“Hey, I am here if you ever need me, hell if you ever want to stop by Austin, you know where to find me,” he said before kissing my cheek... Shit, heart don’t do that- and before my brain can process what is going on my body swiftly attaches itself to his.

Catching his lips with mine. “No, we can’t you have been drinkin’,” “I am sober enough Sean,” I gasp feeling his hardening length on my thigh “fuck what are you doin’ to me?” He groaned pushing me through the door. 

“Kissing you,” I say breathlessly, moving to pin his arms above his head, “fuck,” he hissed as I dragged my lips down his neck to his exposed collarbone.

“What the fuck is going on here?” The sound of his heavy boots bounced off the walls, making my heart race. Pushing off of Sean, I fixed my shirt.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” He asked with a stern tone, his cocked eyebrow says he wasn’t asking me to tell him.

He was demanding me to tell him why I am in his house with a man I’m pretty sure he has warned me about…

“Hey Joel,” “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” “he is my guest Joel, don’t be rude-” 

“Are you drunk?” He spat, taking a step closer.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine.” “You knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” 

“Well-” 

“He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I said making him huff.

“Come on Sean, I’ll walk you out,” I put my hand on his wrist pulling him towards me. Closing the door with a sigh. 

“Sorry about that-” “Look I know we had something going on back then and I would love to act on it but I have known that man for most of my life and judging by the look that he just gave me tells me that I shouldn’t even be speaking to you right now,” he scratched his beard. “I really am sorry.” “Me too, but if you ever need a friend, you know where to find me,” he placed a kiss on my cheek...

Opening the front door with a groan, I kick off my shoes, taking them to the kitchen with me to grab another beer “I don’t think so little miss.” “Oh so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” he chuckled, rolling my eyes at his attempt to make a joke right now. “Hey, I was just playin’,” he softly said, handing me a beer.

“I hate you,” I said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, the sound of glass shattering echoing throughout the silent house. “What-” “Fuck you, Joel,” I say as calmly as I can trying to keep my childish outburst at bay. 

“But-” He cut himself off, stepping closer.

“Just stop,” I held up my hand taking a step back “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” I rush off to the stairs hoping he won’t follow because I know if he tries to stop me I won’t hesitate to rush into his big strong arms... The words I never thought I would say come flying back to my mind as I slide down my closed door ‘I hate you’...

   Joel

“Shit,” I groaned as I fished for my phone that was ringing in my right pocket. “Hello?” “Hey, Dad are you on your way home?” “Yeah, I just left the site about 15 minutes ago why do you girls need me to pick somethin’ up for y’all?” “That’s the thing Dad, she’s not here...” “Not there what do you mean? You were with her all day, weren’t you?” “No, I have a life you know?” She scoffed.

Of course, she left her, once again turning her back to her best and only good friend to do what? Who the hell knows... 

“Okay well, I will be home in a bit, so just stay there Sarah,” hanging up the phone tossing it into the passenger seat. Where the fuck did she go?

Rushing through the door, I see Sarah just sitting there on her phone, such a great friend. “Any sign of her?” “No, she’s not even answering her phone,” she rolled her eyes “okay her are my keys, take the truck and look at any of the places that you think she would be in,” I ordered not giving her time to protest.

Checking my phone to see if Sarah got a hold of her, I hear the door crash open; I rush in to see if it was her... It was her touching a boy, touching all over him. I am filling with anger? Is it jealousy? Am I Jealous of her searching his body? The way she leaves soft kisses down his jaw and neck- oh how soft her plump lips look- that should be me with her lips all over me. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” “What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “yeah, I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” I demanded an answer from this. “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” I shifted my gaze to him, cocking a brow. “He is my guest Joel, don’t be rude,” she said with a small slur. “Are you drunk?” I can feel my palm twitch.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine,” “you knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” I clenched my jaw rage falling through me. “Well-” “He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I huffed at her words, yeah right.

She walked him out. I bet he’s touching her right now... I hear her groan as she passed through the living room, “I don’t think so little miss,” I said blocking the fridge. “Oh, so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I was just playin’,” I softly said handing her a beer. “I hate you,” she said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, “what-” “fuck you, Joel,” she said in a calm tone that sent chills down my spine. “But-” I can’t even think of words as I took a step closer. "Just stop,” she held up her hand taking a step away from me “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” she said before running off...

‘I hate you’ it rang through my ears as my heart shattered at her words... What just happened? How did I fuck this up? I am supposed to be here for her and yet I am just fucking everything up.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The front door closed softly, bringing me back from my deep thoughts. “I can’t find her anywhere, did she show up?” “Why doesn’t she want to see you? Why is she mad at you?” “So she is here? What did she tell you now?” She crossed her arms. “Nothing actually, she just said that she didn’t want to talk or see me and you, I know what I did to piss her off, so what did you do?” I matched her crossed arms. 

“Nothing Dad, she is just dramatic that’s all,” she said pushing past me. “Why is there glass in the sink?” “Because she was mad, you know she only gets like that when she is really hurt,” I tilted my head. “No, she gets like that when she is drunk, like I said she’s dramatic,” she huffed. “I don’t see her being dramatic, I see her hurt and her best friend wasn’t even with her today, why is that?” 

“She told me to go, so I went. I wasn’t gonna stay here and baby her.” “Wow Sarah, I didn’t raise you like that, she is your friend and you take care of her no matter what!” “Okay Dad, yeah I am just supposed to babysit her yeah,” she scoffed. 

“She does it for you all the time!” “Oh yeah like when Dad?” “When y’all would come over and she had a date or something with her other friends and family she would cancel so she could be your wingman, designated driver when you were sick!” I yell in a whisper.

“So?” “So? So you be there for her,” “fine I’ll go talk to her-” “no you won’t, she needs space, so give it to her,” “whatever dude,” she huffed turning on her heels “young lady! Dude?” “Sorry jeez, I’m sorry dad,” “I am done talkin’ to you, go to your room,” “planin’ on it,” she gave a fake smile.

Reader

The yelling has stopped. Sun has set. My heart still aching... I wish I had stayed at the dorms. I need a drink... I slip through the hall and down the stairs in a slow pace not paying attention to anything on the way to the kitchen “can’t sleep either?” His low voice startling me “shit, I didn’t see you there,” I gasped walking to the fridge. 

“I am sorry for earlier, and I’m sorry about Sarah,” he sat with his hands clasped around the neck of the bottle, head hanging low. “Yeah, you get used to it,” I say looking for that damn bottle opener.

“Did she tell you anything?” “Nope, just a lot of bullshit. She called me dude, that is not the girl I raised,” he sadly said before downing the rest of his beer. “Well, I guess I will be out of your hair then, I know you didn’t want to see let alone speak to me-” “I am sorry for acting that way, I only get like that when I’m drunk,” the lie rolls off of my tongue so easily it doesn’t even hurt anymore. 

“I have known you since 10th grade and I have seen you like that many times, and this is the first time I have seen you like this drunk... You are calmer drunk.” A small chuckle hummed from his chest. “thanks-” “Please let me in, let me help,” he said in broken words. “You can’t,” I sighed hopping onto the counter.

“I have tried to be strong, and happy. I can talk my way out of so many situations, but there are some things I can’t always get myself out of.” “Like what?” He took my beer opening it for me. “Thank you, Joel can I ask you something?” “Yeah, anything,” “Ugh I hate this,” I groaned hanging my head.

“Why do guys suck?” “I’m sorry?” His shocked expression brought a sad smile to my face “I can’t talk about this with anyone else, but you are here, and you always listen to me. You always make the right decision.” “Okay, continue.” “Why are guys so, stupid?” “Stupid how? Like IQ-wise? Vocabulary wise? In-” “Mitchel cheated on me,” I interrupted Joel as his face dropped from a sad smile to a mixture of disbelief and anger. 

“What?” “He slept with one of our friends, and I ended it. I am strong and I let things go, I pay no mind to things anymore... But I’m not strong, I’m not fine, I am tired. I am tired of everything,” I choke out the last part letting a tear fall.

He stood in front of me catching the tears that I let go. It has been too long since I have allowed myself to show others how fragile I really am... With Joel I never felt like I had to put up a front, he always cared. He’d listen all night if he had to, I would talk his ear off as I kept watch over Sarah after she did a little too much coke when she was 18.

I would return the favor when his dates were shitty, and he just needed someone to talk to late at night... No one would ever know that sometimes we would call each other when I was away at school and it was late at night and we just needed to talk.

“Why did you stop callin’?” He lifted my chin so that I would actually look at him “why didn’t you call and tell me?” “I was scared,” I laughed at the small sniffle I made “of what?” “Of losing my best friend,” “Oh honey Sarah would-” “not her, you, I was scared of losing you Joel,” “and why would you be scared of losing me?” His voice so soft and caring, it makes my heart swell.

“Because you are the only one I can actually be myself with, and I know I haven’t been treating you that way lately but I mean so much shit is going through my mind lately I can’t think with you here” the words spill out of my mouth before I can catch them. I slowly shut my eyes waiting for his disgusted response...

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“And what am I doing that has your pretty little mind so distracted?” The way he says ‘pretty’ has me pressing my thighs together. Come on, get. A. Grip. “Come on, you can tell me,” his tall frame towering over me, fuck it. It’s either this or tell him everything...

“What has you so worked up?” He said with innocence but his eyes gave him away, pupils were blown wide. “You, and those damn tight shirts,” I scan his body seeing my favorite tight white shirt with his grey sweat pants “I think we should talk about the other night sweetheart,” shit. “Don’t you think?” He tilted his head scanning my face. “What about it?” I say low enough for him to hear.

“You weren’t being very nice, watching me get off” I have to bite my lip to hold back a whimper at the image of him pounding into his fist and head hanging back. “No,” “what was that?” He teased at my low response “I said no, it wasn’t very nice. But when have you ever known me to be a good girl Mr. Miller?” I spread my legs inviting him in.

A low groan escaped his throat “fuck” he hissed as I pulled him in by his waistband. “You have always been a good girl for me, don’t you think so?” He gripped my jaw forcing me to make eye contact, his grip tightening waiting for an answer. “Yes,” I moan out at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against my thigh. 

“Then you won’t have any trouble being a good girl for me tonight will you?” His hand traveled to my throat applying some pressure “fuck, I won’t,” I grind myself on his thick thigh. “Good, now let’s take care of you, pretty girl,” he pulled me closer giving my lips a teasing peck before leaning in for a needy, sloppy kiss that takes my breath away.

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5 Years Ago

"Hey, Dad you home?" I called out as tossing my keys onto the entry table. "Hey honey, we are in the kitchen!" He yelled out. "We?" I asked walking through the living room. "Hey sweetheart, how was school?" "The same old same old," I laughed at the same question he has been asking me for 10 years since we moved to Austin.

"Hey, before you do your homework can you come and taste the food?" "Yeah, just let me set down my bag," I yell from the hallway leading to my room. "Okay honey," he sang from the kitchen.

"Okay Dad, I am here to be your taste tester-" "Ah! Y/n this is Joel. He is my coworker and his daughter is with some friends so I invited him for dinner so the old man won't be alone," he laughed patting his shoulder.

"Hi Joel," I held out my hand as my dad grabbed some beers. "Hi y/n," he shook my hand at a slow pace. He is hot, why do all the hot guys have to be older than me? Wait, he has a daughter? Great, hopefully, I don't have to be forced to like her...

"Okay, now food, taste it please!" He laughed "Hector, your cooking is always good, I love the lunches you bring to work!" "Actually those are y/n's lunches, she always cooks my lunch." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean he raised me I can at least make him food for work," I laughed going to the spice cabinet.

4 Years Ago

"So, he didn't show huh?" "Nope, you know him so well," I scoffed. "Hey I called it, he wasn't any good for you," his tone was so soft, it made my heart swoon. "Yeah, you called it," I sigh curled up on Joel's comfy couch, waiting for my dad to pick me up. "Thank you for -

cooking dinner, and lunch for tomorrow, Sarah is really going to love it," he hummed.

"When am I going to meet this daughter of yours hmm?" "Soon, I think you will really like her." "If you say so Miller," "I told you it's just Joel, I have known you for a while now you can call me Joel," he huffed.

I loved calling him Miller, it always got under his skin because that's what my dad calls him... I love to get under his skin. I love- no not love, like... I like him.

3 Years Ago

"Tell me all about it!" I yelled plopping on his couch. "About what?" "The date, how was she?" "You would hate her!" "Why? Is she better than me?" I joked. "No, not even close to you," he laughed. "Okay so then what gives?" "She was all about her, her, her, and oh yeah, her! She didn't even remember my name till it was time to pay and she wanted to take me home," "ew," "ew is right," he shrugged off his coat.

We were watching a movie when his front door opened. "Dad?" "Sarah, I thought you were staying the night?" "I was going to, but they wanted to watch anything that wasn't scary so that blows," that is his daughter? Damn, I wonder what her mother looked like... No one could ever compete with those looks... "Who is she? I know you like em young but damn dad," "Sarah!" I laughed at his reaction.

"Hi, I'm y/n," "Sarah, so you and my dad huh?" "No, just friends," I laughed. "She is even prettier than you said Dad," she stated sitting in the empty single chair. "You said I'm pretty? Not too bad yourself, Joel," I said tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"You called me Joel," he gasped in fake awe. "Would you prefer me to call you Miller again? Because I will if you want me to," "Joel is just fine," "Get a room you two," "I should go, my dad is waiting for me at home." "Okay let me walk you out," he said following me to the door.

2 Years Ago

"Congratulations!" Joel yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you," I give a genuinely happy smile to him and his beautiful big brown eyes. "Don't forget to come and visit on the weekends, I mean for you to get away from all of that," "I will don't worry, plus I'm pretty sure Sarah is going to drag me along with her," I smiled toward Sarah who is talking to some of our friends by our Uhaul... I am going to miss Austin but thankfully Dallas isn't far from here.

"Remember, you can call me whenever! I am available at any time of the day," he held on tightly to me. "So you just going to steal my daughter?" My dad asked Joel. "No Hector," he grumbled "he just doesn't have any friends his own age, so he hangs around your daughter who acts like she is 90 with a bad back," Sarah laughed at her own joke and frankly she isn't wrong...

I have been hanging out with Joel since the day I met him. Whether it was because my dad was out of town, or because he wanted a home-cooked meal because Sarah wasn't going to be home, or just simply because we enjoyed each other's company. If he needed someone to talk to about girls, I was the one and it went the same way for me... But it hurt seeing him always so down because all the 'girls' he thought he would like just wanted to use him for sex.

1 Year Ago

"Hey, my dad called to see if you were okay," "he did?" "Why is Mr. Miller calling for you?" Mitchel asked cocking his brow. "Because she didn't answer him or her dad," she shook her head with a mocking expression. "They will be fine without me bothering their lives, just tell him I am fine," I huffed hopping off of my bed.

I haven't been in contact with Joel or my dad since we got back from Austin, 2 months ago... That is very much not like me, but with school, Sarah, and Mitchel... I can never be alone. I miss talking to him, hearing how his day went, who annoyed him... I miss our late-night calls when we would talk all night about nothing, we would call just to talk, to hear each other's voice...

Present Time

I have known this man since I was 16; we told each other almost everything as our friendship grew closer. So I have no idea how I even ended up in this situation...

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Joel, kneeling between my legs kissing his way up my calves. Fuck I never thought having such a powerful man on his knees would be so tempting. "Joel," I whisper running my fingers through his beautiful curls making him look up at me, and damn those eyes. "Yes?" "Please," I don't even know what I am begging for, it just feels right giving up everything to him. He slowly stands to place a kiss on my lips "Let's undress you first hm?" I could only nod at his words.

"Let's start here, on this little shirt that you just love to tease me with," "I- I don't mean to," yes you do. You love to tease this man, he likes to act like he doesn't notice her but you notice when he suddenly leaves the room coming back 20 minutes later in a fresh pair of clothes.

He dropped it with a hiss staring at your bare chest, breast on full display. His gaze is heating your body, maybe a little too much, moving your arm to cover your now-hardening nipples he stops your movements. "Don't cover up, I am just admiring your beautiful body," I have no idea what made me so confident... "You're drooling Joel, and you haven't even seen my pussy," a groan forced itself out from deep in Joel's chest.

"Baby, I don't have to see that pretty cunt of yours to make me drool for you," he rasped cupping my breasts "fuck," I grinned playfully as he attached my breast, sucking and nibbling down my chest. "Fuck, please do that again," I whined arching my back. "What don't your little boys pay enough attention to your beautiful breasts," he kissed the underside of my breast. "Not like that, I knew they wouldn't satisfy me so I always just rushed it with them," I groaned hanging my head back.

"Now that is sad, how could they not appreciate these?" He hissed, cupping my breasts in his large hands, "just like all the other boys, they couldn't give me what I wanted," I sighed. "Ah yes, 'the boys' they could never satisfy a woman like yourself," he hummed stroking my sides. 

"Mm never, it takes a real man to handle all of me and my needs." "Well, I could give you what you need," his voice hoarse as his hand snaked up to my neck. "Oh, you think so Mr. Miller?" "Oh, I know so pretty girl," he whispered into my ear.

"You are so beautiful," he groaned as he slowly trailed down my stomach, hooking his fingers around the waistband of my pajama shorts. "Is this okay, sweetheart?" "More than okay, Joel," I said as he pulled down my shorts and panties in a swift movement.

He backed away, just staring at my nakedness. His gaze makes me self-conscious, so I cover myself. "Don't do that please, I am trying to look at what I missed out on, your body is just breathtaking I could look at you like this every day," he lowered himself to my cunt. He licked a long strip through my folds, sending a shiver up my spine "fuck," I let out a low moan, arching my back.

"Joel, don't stop please," I grind my cunt on his tongue "I wouldn't dream of it my pretty girl," he rasped adding two fingers into me. "Oh my god," I shutter almost cumming on his fingers as he wrapped his beautiful lips around my clit. "You taste so sweet baby," he mumbled bringing his soaked fingers to my lips. I lap my tongue around his hard fingers, sucking them clean "fuck that's it, pretty girl, just like that," his lust-filled voice brings me closer.

"Fuck Joel," I held his wrist as he fastened his pace, his free hand traveling to my throat applying pressure. "Please make me cum Joel," I beg, shutting my eyes. "Oh, baby you don't have to beg me, but I can't say no to those pretty moans," he cooed.

"Come on, I can feel you clenchin' me so tightly," he groaned "cum for me, I want to taste you beautiful," I open my eyes to see his brown eye staring into my soul. "Fuck," I came with a small scream, covering my mouth with my hand. "Yes, just like that. So pretty cummin' on my fingers," he hummed leaving a trail of kisses on my thighs.

"There you go," he said in awe as I slowly rode out my high. "Now where are your manners sugar?" He asked gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I said with innocent eyes. "You are going to be the death of me," he hissed grinding his clothed cock into my thigh.

"I can see you thinking, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," "I want to taste you, Joel," I bite my lip at the thought of having him all to myself. "Baby you don't have to do that,-" "I want to, I have been wanting to have your cock in my mouth ever since I walked in on you and that blonde bitch," I huffed as I raked my fingers through his hair "oh my baby that was 2 years ago," he said with a fake pout stroking my cheek with his thumb. "Please, Mr. Miller?" "Anything for you beautiful," he let out a breath as he helped me hop off of the counter.

"You are so handsome Joel," I groan playing with the hem of his shirt. "It's always these damn tight shirts, I can never look away," I whisper in his ear "I can tell," he laughed leaning in for a kiss. "Take this off, please."

"Well, since you asked nicely," my thighs pressed together as he shed the layer of clothing. Eyes raking over his upper torso "fuck, I love your body," I bite back a moan as I drag my nails along his burning skin.

I sank between his big thighs looking into his eyes, kissing a trail down his stomach "fuck you are stunning like that," he hissed. "Like what? Naked or between your thighs," I played with his waistband "god both," he huffed out a sigh. "Yes, I am god, the one and only," I smirked looking for approval. He gave me a small nod allowing me to pull down his sweats.

His big cock sprung out hitting his stomach, I smirked at the fact that he wasn't wearing any boxers. I practically drooled at the size of him, "fuck Joel," I gasped, wide-eyed. I mean I saw him from afar so I knew he was big, but damn.

"Look how pretty you are just waiting to have my cock, that pretty mouth just watering at the thought of you choking on me, so deep in your throat," he purred as I wrapped my fist around his thick shaft "mm fuck me," he groaned low and sexy his eyes full of hunger.

"I love the way you moan for me," my tongue lapping at his slit collecting his salty pre cum, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head taking his thick cock into my mouth with slow bobs.

His fingers laced into my hair tugging it, taking control of my movements "fuck just like that baby girl," his words made me still as he bucked his hip deep down my throat. He fucked my mouth hitting the back of my throat with every thrust making my eyes water.

Pulling me off of his cock with a small 'pop' "fuck if you could just see how beautiful you look with my cock in your mouth," he pulled me to him. "Call me that again," I grasped his jaw looking deep into his eyes. "What?" "Baby girl," I said lowly for only us to be heard. "Why? Does my baby girl like that?" I cut him off attaching my mouth to his hungrily. 

"Please fuck me," "we will get there, just give me a minute," he said capturing my lips with his, walking us to the kitchen table. "Please Joel, I'm on the pill." "Darlin'-" "Please I want to feel all of you," I stroked his cock. "Anything for you, sugar," he let out a breath as he sank into me.

"Holy shit," I gripped his shoulder "fuck, I stretched you out, and yet you are still so tight," he exhaled. "Just for you Joel," I laced my fingers in his short locks. "Please Move, Joel," "god I love the way you moan my name," he grunted sliding out of me only to slam back into me.

"Mmm mine," "he growled inching deeper. "Yours," I purred feeling his cock twitch. "Say it again" he moaned wrapping his hand around my throat "I'm yours," I cried out. "Joel, if you don't slow down I will cum too fast," I let out a whine as he didn't slow his pace. His fingers toyed with my clit till I came with a high-pitched moan, covering my mouth with his hand.

"Shh baby girl, we have to be quiet," he whispered in my ear making my eyes roll back. Coming down from my high he wrapped his hand around my throat. "Now what do we say after making you feel good?" "Thank you, Mr. Miller," "fuck," he groaned. "Thank you, sir," I whimper without thinking.

His movements came to a halt. "Say it again." "Thank you for making me cum sir, thank you, Mr. Miller," I cry out bitting onto his shoulder, reaching my third orgasm for the night. "Just like that honey, let me take care of you," he moaned as his thrust got sloppier.

"Cum in me please Joel, I want you to fill me up," my cheeks heat at my choice of words "Such a slut for me, wanting my cum so deep in you huh?" "Yes, I'm your slut," the words felt to right falling from my tongue... His slut. He came with a loud grunt, riding out his high. He sank to his knees, watching his cum drip out of me. He didn't hesitate to clean our mixed juices from my cunt.

"Wait right here," he said before walking out of the kitchen. He came back with some towels and clothes "I brought you one of my shirts because I think it would be better to sleep in," he said kneeling in front of me with a damp towel. He collected our clothes before caring me up the stairs to his room.

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We just lay in his bed for a while, in comfortable silence. "Why did you say you hate me earlier?" There it is, I sigh. "Because you were you," "I was me?" "Yes, I actually like Sean, and we had something after Josh left, and um I don't know seeing him again felt like it could have been something. So I said I hated you because you kicked out a guy that I could have been with. He was actually there for me, unlike every guy I have been with."

"And I wasn't any good?" "You were never available." "How was I never available? You were with me almost every day," he poked at my side. "You have Sarah," I giggle at his childishness. "So? I knew you first, I have known you for so many years before her so you can shove that excuse," he gave a hearty laugh.

It should feel weird talking like this with him... But it's him, it's Joel. We could talk about anything and it would never be weird. "So do you see a future with him?" "Sean? No." "Why not?" "He's great and all but I don't think it would have worked out either way, "why do you say that?" "I think I am a little too insecure for him," I tsk. "How are you 'too insecure for him?" He laughed "I don't know, I just am." "But not for me?" "For you, I am an open book," that is a lie, but he doesn't have to know that...

We have been talking for hours and he is finally in my arms ready to fall into a deep sleep and so am I... I have missed- needed this and I like- love him... Shit; I love Joel Miller.

Joel

I slowly open my eyes to my bright room, the sun shining through. The way she felt with me, it just felt so right to hold her in my arms last night. I see my watch on the nightstand, shit it's 9 in the morning... I turn over to see her and- she's gone. My heart breaks as my hand touches the now cold and empty spot she had laid the night before...

Sulking down the stairs I see Sarah sitting on the couch. "Hey, where is y/n?" "Wow, you never call her by her name, what did she do?" "Nothing have you seen her?" "Nope, she left early this morning," she huffed. She left? Saying nothing? She left me?

Reader

The moonlight danced around in his room. My heart swelled at the scene that had taken place, his large arms trapping me between them. I saw his watch on his nightstand, 5:30 in the morning... I need a shower, and I could make him some breakfast, I smile to myself.

I walk to my room with a towel wrapped around my body when I hear a door open. "What did you tell him?" She barked. "What?" "What did you tell my dad? He is pissed with me because you told him something," "I didn't tell him anything, so you're fine just go back to your room," I spat turning towards my door. "I don't believe you!" "You are so full of yourself!" "Oh, am I now?" "Sarah, what do you want? I need to get dressed," I said opening my door.

"Why so you can go meet with your alcoholic boyfriend?" "No, so I can go make some breakfast-" "For who?" "Me, your dad, maybe even you if you stop with this childishness!" "Why are you making my dad breakfast?" "Because I always do, you know he can't cook," "he can, and we have been here for 3 weeks and I haven't seen you cook for him once," she crossed her arms.

"Because I just wanted some space, okay? And now I just want to make it up to him with food, so I can say 'I'm sorry.' Is that what you wanted to hear?" I scoffed "I knew I should have never invited you, but he wanted you here, not me! So you can go die in a ditch somewhere because when we get back I am switching dorms!" She yelled down the hall...

My heart broke, not because she once again proved that she doesn't see me as a friend but because I want to be here, but I can't... I don't know why I keep telling myself that I have someplace here just because I spent almost every day here since I met him. I will never have a place here... Not with him, not in this house that kind of raised me...

-

A small bag is packed, the morning sun just rising... "Hey, thank you for picking me up," "is everything okay?" "Yeah, I just needed some space from that house," I sigh turning my head in his direction. "Her or him?" "Both." "You know you can talk to me, I am all ears," "I know Sean, but just kinda wanna go to sleep." "Okay, well I will drop you off at the house and you can get some rest," "that sounds nice," I say more to myself than him...

"Hey, we are here," he said lightly shaking me awake "I'm up," I moved my hand to his. "You say that but your eyes are still closed," he laughed. "I will be back in just a few hours to check up on you, um I have some records if you want to play some music while you sleep." "Ah, you remembered?" "How can I forget? You would constantly steal all of my CDs, so I have some of your favorites in there, you know where your spare key is, do what you have to do," he said softly.

"Thank you, really-" "Stop with the sad 'thank you’s, I have always told you, I would be here for you so I am gonna keep that word... I am not going to let some silly guy get in the way of that," he laughed "yeah okay," I gave a small laugh. "Go and get some sleep dear," he said unbuckling my seatbelt. "Okay, I will see you in a bit," "Yes you will, and I will stop by your favorite Chinese place on the way back." "That would be nice," I said hopping out of his truck, grabbing my small bag.

It's almost sad to say that I missed this place too, if I wasn't at Joel's house I was here... Tossing my key onto the small coffee table I scan the small living room, just as I remembered it. I kick off my shoes making my way to his bedroom, the bedroom I have spent many nights in... I am utterly fucked up.

-

I haven't moved from the small ball I have curled myself into. Slowly opening my eyes, I see the clock on his desk in front of the bed it's 3:19PM. I snuggle my head into my arm before hearing the door unlock from the hall.

"You awake?" He called out slowly pushing open the door to his room. "Yeah, I just woke up," I said finally stretching my body, "you still sleep the same when you're upset," "I do?" "Yes, that silly little ball you make yourself so you feel protected till someone comes and cuddles with you," he laughed removing his shoes and denim jacket. "You know me so well," "I do, and that's why I brought myself and Chinese," he held a brown bag.

We ate in bed and just lay there, talking and listening to music... "So you gonna tell me what happened?" He asked playing with my hair "Sarah said that I can go die in a ditch because basically, she doesn't believe the fact that I cook for Joel," "Okay, I some context for that please," "I slept with Joel, and I wanted to make him some breakfast as an apology for yelling at him and throwing some shit," "oh you still do that too?" He joked.

"Anyway, I wanted to make him some food, but I wanted to shower first so I did, then she stopped me in the hall yelling at me because she thinks I told Joel about what happened," I scoffed. "Just tell him, you have to stop covering for her," "I can't," "and why is that?" "Because I will lose him if I do."

"Why do you say that?" "He will choose her over me, and I don't want to make him, so I just suffer in silence." "That is bullshit! You need to tell him," "I won't." "This is why your thoughts are killing you, you need to get this shit off of your chest," he said slowly pulling me in close. "Everyone will hate me," I said into his chest.

"Are you the one who-" "Sean, stop," I gave a warning glare. "Look I love you and you know that, do you love him?" "I- I don't know," I hesitated. "Do you love him?" "Yes, I do." "Does he love you?" "No, I don't think so, I mean I don't know." "You don't think so?" "What?" "I'm just sayin', who can't love you?" "A lot of people, I am annoying," "No you're not, he was a dick. He made you stop talking to everyone in town, you stopped calling your dad, Joel, me... People needed you and you just stopped talking to them."

"No one needed me," I laughed. "I did," he said looking into my eyes. "I missed my friend," "god why do I do that?" "What?" "I always make friends with older people when all I can do is act like a kid," I cover my face with my hand at the stupid question. "You have a right to feel like that when I get hurt like you did I act out I mean you have seen me at my worst."

"Yes, and it was a pain," "I remember puking everywhere," "and I had to chase you with a bucket because you refused to puke in the toilet," I let out a sad laugh. "Yeah, I was a complicated drunk," he laughed "I love your laugh, I missed it," I said giving him a soft and sad hug. "I miss yours too, I miss the little look you would give me when you were up to somethin', tryin' to hide it from me," "me too..."

"He really fucked you up huh?" "Yeah, it took me a while to find this part of myself, that's when I stopped calling... I didn't see the world or anything the same way anymore," "I get it," "I mean I just wanted to stop the whole world, to stop my thoughts but with the two of them I couldn't think because they were always there. I couldn't call you or Joel because they were right there, and I needed someone," I let out a sob.

"Hey, well you're here now. I've got you now," he pulled me onto him. "You know he is going to kill me if he finds out that you are here right?" He asked looking down to see my tear-stained face "he will be fine." "No, he won't and you know that," "I wish I had stayed at the dorms."

"Oh, you don't mean that." "Actually, I think I do, I mean if I had stayed I wouldn't have any time to ruin anything..." "You haven't ruined anything, the truth is just slowly coming out, you are not doing anything wrong," he placed a soft kiss on my head.

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There was a soft knock on the door... "Hey it's probably my neighbor telling me she's leaving for the night, can you get it and get the key from her? I am only gonna be a few more minutes," he called out from the shower. "Okay," I said dragging myself off of the bed.

A knock came again as I reached for the doorknob. Opening it with a smile "Hey Sean I know I was rude the other-" "J- Joel? What are you doing here?" My smile dropped... "What are you doing here?" Anger falling on his face mixed with sadness... "Why are you at Sean's place?" "I needed somewhere to stay, I needed space," I said moving closer to the door.

"Hey honey, what's goin' on out there? Did she leave you the key- shit," he whispered fixing the towel around his waist. "Why is she here with you?" "She needed a place to stay till she gets a plane back to Dallas," he pulled me back to him a bit seeing Joel come closer.

"You're leaving? And you didn't care to tell me?" "Tell him, dear." "No, just go back to the room Sean, I will be there in a minute," I said pushing him back. "Okay, just let me know if you need anything," "I will, now please go," I plea before he gave Joel a quick glance walking backward...

"You needed space? So you came to him?" "I had no one else to call." "You could have talked to me," "I can't talk to you about this!" "About what? Is it the Sarah thing?" "No, it's not." "Then what is it?" "Joel, just go home... I will be by to pick up the rest of my things in a few days," I hold back tears...

"Why are you doing this?" "I don't want to be a bother here." "And who said you were a bother?" "No one, I just- I don't want to talk about this anymore..." "So that's it? You don't want to talk so you just leave?" "I want to talk, but I can't," I let out a small cry.

"Why? Talk to me, right now, I can handle whatever it is!" "Go home, Joel! I don't want to see you anymore!" I choke out. "Is everything okay out here?" Sean asked coming closer to the door. "Why didn't you tell me she was here? I asked you at the bar if you had seen her, I came here to apologize and then I see this? You with her?"

"We are not sleeping together, I am her friend so I was here for her." "She has other friends." "No, she doesn't-" "Sean! Stop, both of you just stop... Go home, Joel, I will be by soon to get my things and to leave my keys, so you don't have to wait on me," I said walking away from the door.

"Go home Joel, she needs space, and I think this is something she needs to work out by herself," I heard Sean say before the door closed...

"Okay, I don't care what you want, we are going to talk about this because you bottling up your feelings? It's a no for me." He said walking into his room. "Sean, I love you but we are not talking. I need to book a plane, go get my things, and try to avoid everything in my life," I curled myself into a small ball. "Hey, none of that, come here," he gestured towards him.

"Let me drive you, it's only a few hours with traffic," his soft tone pulls me into him. "I am not letting you drive me to school." "Okay then let your dad-" "No, he won't drive me, you won't drive me, I don't want anyone driving me! I will take a short plane ride," I spat. "Hey, I was just suggesting," "I know, I'm sorry," I said sitting up from his embrace.

"School doesn't start for a few more weeks, why don't you stay here for a couple of days?" "Thank you, Sean, but-" "If you tell me you don't want to be a bother I will spank you," he said with a smirk, holding my hand. "Ooh, kinky," I laughed hopping off of the bed. "Sometimes I wish we could go back," he said with a sad smile...

"Why? Why do you want that?" "Because you weren't taken, you were happier than ever! And I had you to myself and I could touch you whenever I wanted to," he said walking towards me. "And who said I was taken?" I give him a small smirk. "Don't do that to him." "Don't do what to him?" "Don't betray him like that, he is a good man," "I am not betraying him," I scoff turning from him.

"We had sex, good sex... That doesn't mean I was asking for a relationship," "I wasn't saying that-" "Well it sure sounded like it-" "Hey, don't twist my words, I am trying to look out for you," he followed me down the hall, "you're trying to look out for me? Sean I don't need anyone to look out for me," I stopped in my tracks turning to him.

"Yeah because it has been going so well for you lately," "Wow, thanks... Um yeah okay, I am just gonna go for a bit," I said pushing past him. "What are you doing?" "Getting my shoes, I am going out so don't wait up for me-"

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean it like that come on," "Sean I don't care how you meant it, I just need to go out, you're fine." "We were together for quite some time so I know when you say 'you're fine,' it means you secretly want me dead," "Sean, look I just need time to myself."

"Fine, then I'll leave, I know you need a drink. I have beer, whisky, and whatever you want... I just don't want you drinking out there today," he stopped me again. "You know what? How about we just put on some music and go to sleep?" I sigh in defeat, not that I even put up a strong fight...

"I am fine with that, I'll take the couch-" "Sean you make it seem like we can't sleep in the same bed." "It's just that-" "I have slept with you as a friend, a girlfriend, and an ex... I think we can do this," I huff dragging him to his room... Let's get this night over with.

Joel

He just closed the door in my face... I came here to see him, to apologize to him. This is the thanks I get? Her with him? The rage fills me as I storm to my truck. Speeding home was easy. I slam open the front door.

"Dad, what is wrong with you?" "What is he doing here?" "Who? Mitchy?" "Yes, that boy," "I was here to see my girlfriend, sir." "Don't 'sir' me, I know you two broke up!" "Well I don't know if she told you but we are getting back together," he said with a stupid smirk that I just want to slap right off of his face.

"No, you won't! You won't go anywhere near her! Now get the fuck out of my house!" I yell, seeing red... "What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah yelled as that boy stormed out the front door. "Why is he here?" "Because I invited him, he is a friend of mine whether you like it or not!" "You need to tell me what happened between you and y/n! Right now!"

"What about her?" "Why is she pissed at you?" "What?" "Why. Is. She. Pissed. At. You!" I yell with gritted teeth "I don't know! You know her, she's crazy like that!" "I have known her since she was 16, I know her all right! This isn't her!" "Well, she has been like this for the past year or so, I guess you don't know her as well as I do!" "You don't know shit about her!"

"Dad, don't you think It's weird that you were her friend when she was a kid?" "No, because you were the same way, now I demand an answer from you right now! What is it that you both aren't telling me!" "She is fucking crazy dad, don't listen to anything she says!" She yelled, walking to the staircase.

"Sarah! Don't you dare walk away from me," I lowered my voice to calm myself... "No, fuck her dad! She is the bad friend here! Not me!" She yelled, storming up the stairs. "Fucking shit!" I yelled, throwing a bottle that was sitting on the counter. "fuck," I said to myself, sliding down the wall. What the hell am I going to do? What the fuck is going on here?

Reader

There was a knock on the door... I slowly open my eyes seeing the moonlight dance around Sean's room. The clock on his dresser said it was 3 in the morning. Who is knocking at 3 in the morning? "You okay?" He asked holding me close still half asleep not aware of the faint knocking coming from the living room. "Yeah, I am just going to get some water, I'll be right back," I said crawling out from under the covers. "Okay," is all he said before turning over.

The knocking continues as I reach the door "shit, fucking answer," he said before knocking again. I know that voice... "What are you doing here?" I yell in a whisper as I swung open the door. "What are you doing here? I had to hear from so many others that you were back in town." "Yeah well, I didn't think I had to tell you," "I am your father, I have a right to know!" He raised his voice.

"Keep it down, people are sleeping right now, I was sleeping. Why are you here at 3 in the morning?" "Because I needed to know why you didn't come and see me when you got in town," "because you don't need to know everything in my life," "I have the right to know!" "Don't you think I had the right to know! You just kept it to yourself all this time, and when I find out you tell me 'it's fine' and to 'get over it.' I am done with you, I have told you that many times... You are no longer my father."

"How dare you talk to me like that!" "Shut up!" Is all I get out before his hand connected with my cheek. "Fucking leave! You are not welcomed here, you never were!" I yell, holding my face, letting tears of anger fall.

"What is all the yelling about?" Sean rushed to the door. "Hector? What are you doing here?" "I am here to talk to my daughter so you can just go-" "Well, this is my place, so no I won't 'just go' but thanks for the suggestion," he pulled me closer to him. "What happened?" He held me searching my tear-stained face. "He slapped me," I said through gritted teeth.

"You did what? Hector? Why would you do that?" "Because she is being disrespectful!" "Keep it down, I have neighbors. Come in and we can talk about it-" "No, he won't be coming in!" "What's wrong Dear?" "I don't want to talk about it," "Y/n, you have to tell me," "he is the one that allowed it, everything... He knew, and he decided that I wouldn't care so he kept it from me for months!" "What?" "That's why I didn't want him to know I was in town, that's why- I- Just get rid of him please," I said walking back into the house.

He gripped my arm. "Let go of me!" "No, you will listen to me, Joel said that you were here-" "Joel? Joel told you that I was here?" "Yes, since he is a better friend than you Sean," "I am a damn good friend, you Hector, on the other hand... I can't say the same for you," he said snatching my arm from his tight grip.

"Hector, you need to leave," "Sean, come on, that is my daughter-" "She is an adult, and she can make her own decisions... She doesn't want to be with you, now leave before I call the cops," he said pulling us further into the house. "You can't do this!" "I can actually, and I will. Just go home, and forget I ever existed... Like you always did," "I never did that!" He huffed clenching his fists.

"Yes, you did! I practically grew up by myself alongside Joel because you were never home! And you can't say you ever sent money unless it was for your benefit. The money you gave Joel for watching me and the house he gave to me because you never sent me money for school, clothes, food, or the bills!" "I paid for all of that while I was away!"

"No, you didn't Joel helped me get a job because I had to pay most of the bills," I threw my arms up in frustration. "How dare you say that! I was there for every important moment of your life!" "No, you weren't! You were never there for me! I grew up without you!" I spat walking away from this conversation...

Sean came walking into the room with his head hung low making me sit up "he's gone, you can lay back down," he sighed sitting on the edge of the bed. "Thank you, I didn't mean for it to turn into a yelling match." "Well, I mean it's Hector and you are well, you. So I mean it was bound to happen," he gave a laugh. "Thanks," I threw a pillow at him. "Come on, let's get you a bath," he held his hand out. "Okay," I said letting him lead the way.

I undress as he adjusts the water for me. "Thank you again," I said getting into the tub. "Yeah, I mean you deserve some 'me time' so I thought it would be nice to have a nice soak," he cleared his throat. "I'm going to get you some clothes and a towel." "Okay," is all I said before relaxing in the warm water.

Sean is seated on the floor next to the tub. "So, he knew everything huh?" "Yeah..." "So you lied to me?" "Yup," I said sinking into the bubbles. "Hey, stop with the self-pity, I get it, I do. But you gotta do something about it." "Why? I can just go back to school and forget that anything ever happened," I said with a sad laugh. "No, you are going to overthink everything you 'did' and have a mental breakdown." "That is very true." "So how do you feel about Joel telling him?"

"Well, he didn't know we weren't on speaking terms." "Yeah, but he does know you were never close to your dad, so kind of a dick move," "I mean, kinda yeah." "Please let me drive you," "to campus?" "Yeah, I don't want you to be alone going back," he said with his pretty puppy eyes.

"Okay, but today we are going to spend the day in bed, then tomorrow I'm gonna go get my things while Joel's at work," I leaned my head on the side of the tub enjoying the water. "Cold, I like it," he laughed. "Oh, shut up before I splash you!" I blow suds at him. "Okay, you get dried off. I am going to make us some food and we can watch some tv," he said, handing me a towel.

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We spent all of yesterday laying on the couch watching movies, talking, and sleeping... And I am a man of my word... I have to go get my things from Joel's house. It is 9 in the morning... "Sean?" I call out from the kitchen, "Yeah?" "Hey, I'm about to head out." "Okay, I'll drop you off-" "You really don't have to," "but I want to, plus it's on the way to the bar," he said, buttoning his shirt as he rushed into the kitchen.

"The bar?" "Yeah, Kyle was supposed to open for me but he called and bailed so I have to do it," he huffed, pouring his coffee. "That sucks." "You bet your ass it does," he groaned. "Okay, well, let's head out so you can get there in time." "Alright, let's go," he grumbled, grabbing his denim jacket.

The car ride is quiet, I don't really expect him to say anything... And I appreciate his silent concern. "Just call me when you're done so I can pick you up," "I will, thank you," I hopped out of his truck. "Well, I should get to the bar, be safe," "I am just getting my things Sean, I'm not leaving just yet," I laughed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The house is quiet; it feels colder than I remember. Leaving my main key and spear key on the kitchen table, I see a note on the fridge 'Hey Dad, since you can't stop acting like a child I will stay at Mitchel's for the weekend.' The date on the corner of the pad shows she had written it the day after Joel showed up... What the hell is going on over here?

Walking up the stairs, I hear shuffling from the living room. "I thought I locked you?" His voice bounced off the walls. Shit... I pick up my pace, trying to climb the stairs quickly but not trying to bring attention to my presence...

Trying my best to open the door as quietly as I possibly can was a success. Now closing it is the challenge... Once I closed the door, I began packing my suitcase. Shoving clothes from the drawers into my suitcase. Collecting some of my other belongings, sorting through the things I want to take with me... Joel's shirt... I came across his shirt as I rummaged through my stuff. I should take it to his room once I no longer hear his footsteps I can sneak it into his room. Not the best idea, but hey what do I have to lose?

After 5 minutes of waiting, the house was quiet again. I open the door to peek out; the coast is clear. I turn to get my suitcases, and as I turn back there he was... Out of thin air...

"What are you doing here?" He asked, wide-eyed. "What are you doing here? You are supposed to be at work," "I needed some stuff from my garage, then I needed something from my room, now what are you doing here?" "I told you I was coming to get my things, I was going to wait till you left but I was going to take your shirt to your room..." I trailed off, seeing his brows furrow.

"So you are leaving then huh?" "Yeah, I saw that Sarah hasn't been here, what happened there?" "Whatever happened between you is your business. But she blames it all on you, and I was asking why she does and she just ignored me..." "I'm sorry, but um, for what it's worth... I'm probably at fault. I mean, I let it happen, I was just so forgiving," I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my tears at bay...

"Hey, no, don't do that to yourself," he said, moving closer. "Joel, please, don't. I um, I am only here to get my things and leave-" "Why not stay? I get something happened, but why does that have to change everything with us?" "Us? There is no us Joel-" "Wow, so all that meant nothing to you?"

"Joel, I loved it. I like being with you. I feel safe with you, you know that. You have always told me that I belong here and that it didn't matter what others think... But, I don't belong here, not with you, not in this house..." I let a tear fall. "Sweetheart, no one has ever said that, have they?" He asked, closing the space between us. "No-" "Who?"

"No one, Joel. It's fine, I um... I have to go-" "You are not going anywhere till you tell me who said those things to you," he said through gritted teeth, pinning my arms above my head, and pushing me to the wall. "Joel, you'll miss work," I said with a gasp. "They will be fine without me, you need me more." "No, I don't-" "Well, your tears tell me otherwise." "Joel," I whine, letting another tear fall. "Come on pretty girl, use your words for me,"

"Fuck, you look so pretty cryin'. Who hurt you?" He caressed my tear-stained cheek. "You, me, everyone," I cry out. "I hurt you?" His tone was sad, letting my arms fall. "What did I do?" "No- I mean, I need to think straight and I can't do that around you," I push him from me.

"Baby, talk to me... Just like we used to," "I can't," "why not?" "Because so many things have changed, I can't just open up to you." "Yes you can, what is wrong?" "Nothing, Joel-" "Lies, baby girl, tell me what is wrong," he said, taking my hand in his. "Joel, nothing else needs to be said, what she told you is everything you need to know. No one would believe me if I said otherwise…"

"I would, I will always take your side. There's not a day that I won't," "Joel, you have to say that-" "Why do I have to?" "Because you are you, you can't help the need to make people feel better." "Is that what people are putting in your head? That I'm taking pity on you?" "Joel it's-" "It's what? It's not my problem? It's not a big deal?"

"Yes, it's not that big of a deal," "why? I mean, if this happened to you years ago you would have killed him, but you got with someone who is just like his father and he fucked with your head... Now here you are tellin' lie to my face!" He inched closer.

"Joel-" "Tell me, why do you believe everybody but yourself?" "Because maybe they are right..." "About what?" "Me, not belonging." "Me taking pity on you?" "maybe-" "No, there is no 'maybe' it's a yes or no," he sneered.

"Yes, Joel. Sometimes I think you are taking pity on me," I whispered, feeling his breath on my lips. "Well, why don't we change that? Huh?" He placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "I want to show you that you are more than anything than what people say about you," he said, dragging me to his room.

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"Joel, you don't have to do this-" "Baby, all I want is you," he knelt in front of me. The sight of him on his knees for me will always amaze me. "Look at those pretty eyes, do you want me to stop?" His gaze never left my face as he left soft strokes on my calves. Yes, say yes... "No please," I say low enough for us. "Such good manners, let's get this off of you, pretty girl. I want to see all of you," he played with the hem of my shirt.

"Joel, can you do it?" "Do what, baby?" He smirked, his taunting gaze making me squirm. "Undress me please?" "How can I say no when you ask so nicely? Let's see," he cooed, standing before peeling the thin fabric from my burning skin. He smiled, placing kisses all over my face, making me giggle.

"There we go, so pretty for me," he groaned, seeing my laced bralette "Joel, please... I need you," I gasp at his feather-light touches. "Not just yet baby, I'm takin' my time with you," he said lifting my bralette. "So beautiful, and all mine," he groaned to himself before wrapping his lips around my sensitive nipple.

"Fuck Joel, just like that please," I moan, lacing my fingers in his brown locks, tugging at his hair. Moaning at my actions, he pulls his beautiful mouth from my chest. "Take off your pants for me beautiful," I have never felt so submissive to anyone before Joel, his gaze alone could bring me to my knees without him asking me to...

Pulling down my pants, leaving me in only a matching pair of panties. "So precious," he cooed, playing with the waistband of the dark red lace. "I want you to sit on my bed and play with your pretty little pussy for me, just like you did the other night in my pool. I want you to show me how you get yourself off without me here to make you feel better," his free hand gripping my jaw.

"Yes sir," I whimper at his grip. "Good girl, now show me how good of a girl you can be." Letting go of my jaw, I walk at a clumsy pace to the edge of his bed. I strip from my now ruined panties, kicking them to the side. Sitting on his soft bed, spreading my legs, giving Joel a small show.

I tease myself for his pleasure, slowly running my fingers up my inner thigh so close to where I want to be. I lick at my fingers collecting saliva. I hear his breath hitch as I place my fingers on my clit. "Fuck," hold back a whimper trapping my bottom lip between my teeth "don't you look pretty playing with that needy cunt?" He groaned at the sight stepping closer. "Thank you," I say breathlessly.

"No need to thank me, baby, you're the one doing all the work," his praise edged me on, I gasp at the small stretch of my middle finger "shit," I flinch at his quick movement to his knees. "You know, watching you cum in my pool was just beautiful but this right here... Watching you get yourself off on my bed? So sprawled out just for me? It's just beyond perfect," he groaned placing butterfly kisses along my inner thigh.

"You have me on my knees for you, the sight of you has me begging to be so deep inside of you," his voice hoarse replacing my fingers with his in a swift moment. "Oh my god, Joel," I yelp at the stretch. "Your moans are music to my ears, baby," his fingers are deliciously bigger than mine, the feeling of them has me drooling. "Look at you, you're drooling and you haven't even had my cock yet," he gave a fake pout pulling out his fingers.

I was about to protest at his actions but seeing him suck his fingers clean like his life depended on it has me clenching nothing... "So ready for my cock aren't you?" I nod unable to form words under his gaze. "Words baby girl," he tapped on my clit "fuck, yes please I want your cock Joel," I whine as he sank his tongue into my begging cunt as his beautifully curved nose rubbed my clit at a perfect pace.

"Fuck me!" I cried out desperately trying to cover my mouth. "Move your hand baby, I want to hear you cumming on my tongue," he rasped disappearing between my thighs once again. Flattening his tongue licking through my folds has me shaking from the amount of pleasure he is giving me.

"Mr. Miller, I'm gonna cum! Please, oh please make me cum," I whine grinding myself on his face, tugging on his hair earning a sexy groan pulling me over the edge. My hips bucked as I came on his tongue, "shit, Joel," I whine trying to ride out my high but he didn't slow his pace. "Joel, please, please slow down," I gasped as he just held down my hips. He enters his fingers alongside his tongue.

"Shit, I- fuck me," I yell out a cry, his eyes fluttering open to watch me take whatever he was giving me. "Joel, fuck," I cry as a second orgasm rips through me. "Oh my god," I yell cumming on his fingers. "Yes, that's right I am your god, my pretty baby," he said lifting his head.

"You did so good for me," he rasped gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I whimper as he smashed his lips onto mine. "Such good manners, tell me what you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me please," I squirm under his gaze. "Well, baby since you have been so good for me, I can't say no to you," he cooed. "Thank you," I blush at his words.

"Okay, knees baby girl," he said stepping away from me. I sink to the floor only to see that he is fully clothed. I hold out my hand for him to help me back up. "What's wrong darlin'?" "Nothing, we just need to get this off first," I said playing with the hem of his work shirt. "Yes ma'am," "thank you for cooperating Mr. Miller," I said eye fucking him. This man is beyond fine, he is a work of art... He isn't too muscly. He doesn't have super-defined abs which is perfect to grab onto. His soft skin feels so right against mine...

"Baby, are you just going to keep staring at me?" "I wish I could, you are perfect Joel." "Glad you think so baby, but I prefer my old body," he laughed. "No," "no?" "No, yes your body was so hot but this body right here... Is just so sexy," I groan at the thought of every part of him. "Damn every time I was down about my body I should have just came to you," he scoffed.

"Yes, you should have. I would have worshiped your body like no other," I hummed leaving small kisses along his jaw. "Fuck," he moaned as I made my down to his chest. "You know I have never had someone to love my chest as much as you do," he gasped as I gave a teasing lick to his nipple... "Is that right?" I laid butterfly kisses along his pecs.

"Yes, you show love to every part of my body love." "Just wait and see how much I love your thighs," I grip his sides. "This I love, I can hold on to this, or these when I ride you," I gestured to his tummy and pecs. "You're killin' me here baby girl," he groaned as I pulled him into my embrace. "That's the plan baby," I gave a quick kiss before sinking to my knees. "I can watch you like this all day," he stroked my hair.

"Belt please?" "Yes ma'am" he smiled discarding his belt. I took my time undoing his jeans. "You look so pretty, my baby." "Thank you, but complementing me won't make me work faster," I hummed. Pulling down his jeans along with his boxer briefs, his cock sprung out with a hiss from Joel. "Shit, you're big," I say without thinking...

"Thank you, baby," the smirk on his face grew. He stepped out of the puddle of his clothes and kicked them to the side. "Now it's your turn to sit on the bed, Mr. Miller." "Everything good comes from sitting with you," he laughed turning me with him. "Just rest on your elbows for me, please?" I asked stroking his strong thighs.

"Oh, anything for you baby," he placed a soft kiss on my lips before leaning back. He let out a small sigh when I placed my hand on his stomach. Dragging my nails down to his thighs, his beautiful thighs... "Baby you look like you're about to eat me," he sank his teeth into his bottom lip. "Oh I am, you have no idea how long I wanted to kiss these babies... I already rid them, now it's time for me to show your thighs what they need," I hum hovering my lips over the soft skin of his thighs.

"And what is it that they need?" He questioned with a raised brow. "This," I left kisses along his inner thigh, never taking my eyes off him. I leave a train of forming hickeys up each thigh making my way to his cock. "Baby, you are the only person to ever leave marks on my thighs," he gasped as I sank my teeth into his thigh. "If you don't like it, I can stop-" "No, I mean I don't mind it," he rasped shutting his eyes. "Joel?" "Hmm?" "Tell me, what were you thinking about when I was watching you the other night?" I asked leaving a trail of kisses to his cock.

"What I was thinking of?" "Yeah, I want to know," I say in a low tone taking his hard cock in my hand. "Okay- shit- okay I was thinking of your first night here when Sarah dragged you out to go clubbin' and you wore that pretty little red dress, and you were pissed as hell because you didn't get to have fun..." He hissed bucking his hips into my hand.

"And you slept with some guy and you didn't get to cum before he did. You were just sitting there in the little dress with your legs in my lap as I massaged your calves... all I remember was that I wanted to pin you down and fuck you right there. To make you cum on my cock. And I heard you after you went to your room... I heard you moaning, I heard you cumming. And all I wanted was to be there with you, wanting to be the one you were moaning for." he groaned as my hand gently squeezed his cock.

"I was thinking of you, all I wanted was you... I was pissed because she took me with her, and I didn't get to spend time with you like we used to. I was horny and wanted you..." I wrapped my lips around his cock earning a low moan. "Of fuck," his eyes fluttered shut. "Baby, all you had to do was ask." "Yeah but what's the fun in that?" I giggle.

"If you want me to fuck you, you have to stop takin' me so deep in your throat," he groaned as I pulled off holding a tight grip on the base of his cock. "That was close pretty one," "I know, but who said I couldn't make you cum twice?" I laughed. "Oh I know you can, but I don't need my soul to leave my body."

"Okay, now the real fun," I said crawling onto him. "You know, I haven't had someone let me use them like that." "Ever?" "Well, there was one, but he was more submissive than you, but no one who went along with it..." "Assholes, that's what they are, every person should let you treat them right," "I agree, but right now is about making you feel good," my voice huskier than ever as I sank down onto him.

"Oh, my god," he exhaled as I sank further down. "Yes, I am your god, I am your fucked up god," I said with a gasp as he bottomed out. The way he is stretching me is so fucking perfect. "Just give me a minute Joel, fuck this angle has you deeper than last time," I moan hanging my head, gripping at his shoulders.

"It's okay, take your time to adjust, I'm not goin' anywhere baby," "fuck me, you're too big!" "You can take it, baby, I know you can. Just like my good girl," he slowly slid the tiniest bit out only to slam back in. "Joel! Fuck," I cry out in pleasure. "What was I doing when you were thinking of me that night?" He asked fucking up into me.

"I was thinking about what one of Sarah's friends said about you needing to pound into something so you can let loose a bit with us- shit- I was thinking of you storming into my room and fucking me silly. Letting you have your way with me- Fuck me do that again!" I moaned as he pressed deep into me over and over.

"Joel, please- fucking shit make me cum please," I cry out snaking my hand around his throat. "Please, please- oh god, please!" I beg as he pounded from underneath me. "I was supposed to do all the work," I finally get out in one breath. "Next time I promise baby, but I am just so deep I can't help it. You are just so tight darlin'" he grunted as I clenched around him.

"I can feel how close you are baby, you feel so good around me," "Joel, can I cum? Please?" I beg as tears prick my eyes as the pleasure takes over my mind. "Oh my pretty baby, look at you. Cum, cum for me," he coaxed. "Joel, oh my-" My third orgasm took over. My legs shook as I pick up our pace. My mind goes blank. My back Arching. My eye's shutting... My hand choking Joel... "Fuck baby just like that, you can take it, fuck yourself onto me. Use me to get yourself off," he grunted.

"Joel cum in me, I want you to cum in me," "shit," he threw his head back, arching his back... His orgasm was so powerful, I could feel the way his legs were shaking under me. "Fucking shit," he gasped for air painting my insides with his hot load, opening my eyes I see my hand around his neck... "Oh, shit sorry Joel," I gasped slowly sliding off of him. "Don't apologize for that baby, I just came the hardest I have ever cum because of that," he said trying his best to catch his breath.

"come here," he said pulling me up his body. What are you doing?" I giggled "I'm not done with you just yet Darlin'," he smirked hovering me above his face. "Sit," he demanded pulling on my thighs. "But-" "No 'but's' sit. Now." "Yes sir," I obey as he attached his mouth to my leaking cunt. "Joel, you don't have to do this. I can clean myself- shit," I moan as he sucked our mixed juices. "One more please baby," "Joel, I- I can't," "I know you can sugar," fuck it, can another orgasm really hurt? Yes, it can...

"Joel please, it's too much," I cry. "Well, she tells me otherwise, she's clenching around my finger like her life depends on it," he chuckled. "Fuck!" I yell grinding down on his face, squeezing my thighs around his head when my fourth orgasm crashed through me like no other. "Joel!" I cry out when he doesn't stop. "Joel please-" "Just cleaning up baby, that's all," he hummed to himself. "Good, because I don't think I could take another one," I gave a breathless laugh.

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We lay in bed for a few minutes trying to calm our breath. I climb out the bed to find my phone. "Where are you going?" "I have to get my phone," I said picking up my clothes. "Why some other guy you have to go to?" "Yeah, I have to call Sean," I said making him laugh. "What's so funny Joel?" I say with a blank face. "Wait seriously?" He barked rolling out of bed to find his boxers.

"Yeah, why?" I asked slipping on my panties and shirt. "You're going back to Sean's?" "Yeah, I'm taking my things over there- where is this coming from?" "I just thought- I mean you're still leaving after this?" He pointed to the bed we were just fucking in. "You just thought what?" "I don't know, that you would stay?" "Joel, regardless of what happens here, I'll still have to leave you at some point."

"Yeah, but do you have to go back to Sean's?" "What is it with you and him? Hmm?" "He's not good enough for you," "and what makes you the judge of that? Who said I was sleeping with him?" "No one,-" "Exactly, no one... So just stay out of it," I said as my phone rang. "Hey, yeah I'm ready. Okay- okay bye." I ended the call slipping into my pants.

"Wow, just like that huh?" He yelled yanking on his jeans. "What?" "I mean what was this?" "What do you mean Joel?" "This? The sex?" "Hey, you started that, not me," I sighed walking out his room. "Hey, you don't get to walk away from me!" "What are you going to do huh?" "I- I don't know yet," he huffed standing in the hallway. "Okay so if you don't mind Sean is waiting for me outside," I pushed passed him as I pulled my suitcases alongside me down the stairs.

I swing open the front door to see Sean standing at his truck. "Here let me help you with that-" "Thanks but I got it Joel," I pull away from him walking out the door. "Here honey, I got this. You get in and put your seat belt on," he said taking my suitcases... "Thank you, Sean," I said eyeing Joel...

We pull away from the house, and he is still standing there. Just watching us drive away...

"Look, I know you don't want to. But you are gonna have to talk to me," "I know Sean, but not right now... Not today..." "Okay, well I'm here," "I know," "Okay, how about dinner and a movie and a fort in the living room?" "How about a bath then all of them?" "Sounds perfect." "Yes it does," I let out a sigh leaning my head back...

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I turn over to an empty spot, groaning as the morning light peeked through the window. Shit, what time is it? "Sean!" I yell, tossing the pillows. "Okay, I am only in the kitchen. Why are you yelling?" "Have you seen my phone?" "No, sweetness... Where did you last see it?" Shit... That is just perfect. "At Joel's, when I last used it..."

"Why don’t you stay here and I’ll go get it for you-" "Nah, it’s okay I can just buy a new one-" I trail off with a gasp. "What?" "I- um, I left something at Joel’s other than my phone..." "What? A bag or somethin’?" "No, more like an um- um my bra," I sighed... "You slept with him again?" "Yeah… But I was in a rush-" "Wow, I mean just wow!" He laughed.

"What are you laughing at Sean?" "You, I mean you go over there to get your things then you end up fucking him and now you are back to being cold towards him, that is just beautiful!" "Okay, it’s not funny, Sean," I yell as I swat at his shoulder. "To me, it is-" "Oh fuck off!" "Come on, I’ll take you to pick it up." "No, I’ll get it tomorrow… I have seen enough Joel," I huff sitting on the bed.

"You literally saw him yesterday-" "My point exactly, so we can just wait for tomorrow," "Whatever you want honey," "Thank you..." "Hey, I'm going to be at the bar pretty much all day and night so I want you to stop by for a bit," he said pulling on his shirt.

"I will-" "You're not just saying that?" He asked, placing his hand in mine. "No, I'll stop by and we can get some food on the way home," "That sounds good to me," he said, leaving a soft kiss on my head. "I'll see you later sweetheart," he gave me a sad look, walking from my hands. "You got it," I waved him bye before tossing myself back onto the mattress.

After a power nap, I slouch to the living room to put on some Bowie; I hear a faint knock at the door. I glance at the clock on the wall, 2:45 PM it's probably his neighbor leaving the key.. Opening the door with a small smile. "Hey Sean's not hear right now but- no shit." "Darlin'?" "JJ? What are you doing here?" "I came by to leave Sean my keys, what are you doing here?" She asked, wide-eyed.

"I'm staying here for a bit... Wait, you're his neighbor?" "Yeah, how long have you been in town?" "About four weeks," "damn, how's life been?" "It has been crazy lately." "Sorry to hear that," she shook her head. "It's fine, what have you been up to?" "Nothing much, I'm heading out right now." "That's nice," I gave a smile. "Look, you should come out with me!" "No, I wouldn't want to be a burden-" "No please, I would love your company, just like old times," she laughed.

"I mean, it couldn't hurt to go out for a bit-" "That's my girl, go get ready. I'll wait for you," she said, stepping into Sean's house. Just like old times, right? What can go wrong? A lot...

Her car is blasting music like I remember. "Who is all going to be there?" I asked, turning down the radio. "Well, random people, Kat, Rick, and Max," JJ sang with a smirk. "Oh, no JJ-" "What?" "I can't go, I should have asked beforehand," I rake my fingers through my hair. "Well, if I told you who was going, you wouldn't have come," she said, focused on the road. "JJ I can't," "Why not?"

"Because those are Sarah's friends, not mine-" "Am I Sarah's friend?" "No-" "Well then, why should it matter?" "It's just that we aren't getting along at the moment-" "Nothing new there, I mean she is an ass." "What do you mean by that?" "Well I mean she has always treated others like she was better than them so none of us really hang out with her, so trust me you are safe tonight." "Okay. fuck it... Let's go have fun," I sighed, trying my best to shake my nerves.

"Hey, look at me," she said, putting the gear in park. "You are going to have fun, you are going to talk to people, and most important of all... You are going to kiss some people!" "Okay, I am not kissing anyone," I laugh, unbuckling my seatbelt.

-

"Hey, Darlin'!" They yell as I enter the small bar... "Hey, guys," I said as I greeted them with hugs. "Omg, how have you been Darlin'?" "I have been just fine Kat." "That's good!" "How have you been?" "I have been fantastic! Rick proposed!" "Oh my god! What? When did this happen?" "Last week!" "Congratulations!" I yelled as I hugged her. "Congrats, dude," I said as I hugged Rick. "Thanks, sweetheart. I mean, I had to settle down, I couldn't let this one get away," Rick laughed as he hugged Kat.

"Hey!" "Oh, hey Max," "how have you been Darlin'? Does anyone even call you Darlin' anymore?" "Oh no, they don't, but I have been good," I laugh at the nickname. "That's good... So what do people call you nowadays?" "Um... They call me y/n, no one really calls me any nicknames..." "Not even Sean? Joel? The boyfriend?" He gave an unsure smile...

"Well, Joel and Sean are the only ones who call me nicknames but there is no boyfriend," I said, looking away from him. "What? What happened to Mitch?" "He cheated, and I got bored with him..." "Sorry to hear that Darlin'- y/n." "Thanks," I said as I took a beer from his grasp. "That was mine," "and now it's mine," I laughed, taking a swig.

"So how is Sean doing?" Kat blurted, dragging Ricky alongside her, "I thought you were with Mitch?" Ricky said with a puzzled look. "Who told you that?" "JJ, why?" "I'm not seeing anyone... I haven't been for a while now." I scoffed. "Oh, um- what happened?" "I mean Sean, and I broke up before I left for college. I got with Mitch after a few months, then he cheated on me..."

"Man Darlin' I'm sorry to hear that." "It's okay, but don't listen to everything you hear from JJ-" "What about me?" She interrupted with a smile. "Why did you tell them that I was still seeing someone?" I yelled, storming out of the bar.

"What the hell did you say to them?" JJ quietly yelled. "I told them that I'm not seeing someone," "Why would you do that?" "Because I'm not!" "Well Darlin', that's none of their business-" "Stop with that stupid name! No one calls me Darlin'!" I yell, shaking my head in disbelief...

"You know what? I am done, I came here to escape life for a while, but if I have to deal with this, I'm out," I scoffed. "Okay, Darlin', I am sorry, can you stay and party with us? I wanted you to have fun, I shouldn't have said anything to anyone," JJ said as she handed me a blunt. "Okay, yeah, I don't see why not," I said as I took the blunt from her hand. "That's my girl!" JJ yelled as I took a puff.

The music is loud. People are dancing like there is no tomorrow. "See, wasn't that easy?" "Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, stepping through the doors. "That a good girl, you want more tequila?" "Sure," I stumbled next to Max.

Max

"Hey, I don't think you should drink anymore, you have drank so much in so little time," "Let her be Max, now come Darlin'," JJ said, pulling her to a table. "JJ, you can't do this to her, she got away from us for a reason," "Look, Max, she wanted to do this, if you say anything else to her and I will deny it because you don't have proof," JJ shoved me with a finger. "Fine, fuck you JJ, you are acting just like Sarah... I am not going under for you, you are on your own," I said, grabbing my jacket.

Reader

It's dark. It's so cold. Where am I?... "You okay?" "Max?" "Yeah, well I mean if you would open your eyes you could see me," "I can't open my eyes." "Why not?" "It's too bright." "In Sean's house? Where it's literally 4 in the morning?" 4 In the morning? "Where is Sean?" "Store, he's gettin' you some things."

"Okay... How much did I drink?" "What do you remember?" "Nothin' much..." "There's your answer..." "That bad?" "I know I haven't seen you since we graduated but I thought you were smarter than this," "Max-" "No, you hang around with dicks, between her and Sarah... I mean damn," he sighed as the front door opened. "Hey, they didn't have- what the hell were you thinkin'!" Sean yelled as he tossed the bag on the couch next to me.

"Sean-" "No, look, this is why I wanted you to stay with me. So you won't get this drunk... So you won't get this high... I mean, what the hell? You know I didn't remember her? How she treated you? That makes me feel like shit," "Sean, it's fine. I just needed a night to myself-" "You say that as Max had to drag you to my bar because you showed up at his house, crying and so drunk you didn't even know who you were talking to!" He scoffed, walking away. "Take a shower and I'll make you some food," he yelled from the kitchen.

My head is pounding, and that knocking isn't helping... I glance at the clock on Sean's dresser. 4:27 PM... I groan, rolling out of bed. "Sean, who is knocking?" I asked, rubbing my temples, "I'll check, hold on," he grumbled, rolling off the couch. "Sean, get the door or I will shoot it..." "Okay jeez." "Hey, Joel, yeah she's in the kitchen just be a little quiet," "or don't because if that's your whispering voice then you have already killed me," I said sliding against the wall.

 "I'm gonna go back to bed so you guys can talk-" "You can take the bed, Sean, I'll go lay down later-" "No, you can have it, I don't mind it," he said throwing himself on the couch.

"What's goin' through that hungover brain of yours?" Joel asked, sliding down next to me. "Everything but also nothing," I sighed as I leaned my head back against the wall. "Let's get you back to bed hmm?" He asked as he helped me up "Joel, you don't even have to be here- wait why are you here?"

"Because you had a rough night," he said caressing my cheek "Joel, I am a big girl I can take care of myself," I said walking into Sean’s room. "Oh, I never said you couldn't, I know you are more than capable," he chuckled. "Come back to the house and stay with me, just until you leave," he said with his big puppy eyes.

"Joel-" "Please?" "Joel, why are you in here?" I sighed, turning to him "I'm not gonna lie but I just want to be with you for a bit and I really want to kiss you," he said in a single breath, leaning in. "Why don't you?" I whispered. "Because I don't know if you want me to," he whispered against my lips "Joel, there's not a day that I don't want you to kiss me," I gave a sad laugh.

"Then come here," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. I slowly walk to him and stood in between his legs. "Please, kiss me," he softly begged. "You begging is a sight to see..." "Only for you," he said, pulling me down. "I'm not kissing you on this bed, Joel," I said, stepping back. "Fine, then kiss me on my bed. Come home with me."

"Joel-" "Just for a few days, and if you want to come back... I'll bring you back." "If I say yes, will you stop being a baby?" I laughed. "For you? Never, but please come home with me... Where you belong," he held my hand to his lips. "Okay, I'll go," I whispered low enough for us to hear.

"Sean?" I yelled from the bathroom. "Yes?" He rounded the corner. "Okay, I need my bags please-" "You're leavin' already? I thought you two were goin' good-" "No, I'm going back..." "Hell yes! I get to have my bed all to myself again," he cheered. "Oh shut up Sean, can you go get my bags please?" "Yes ma'am," he laughed, walking away.

"So, are you ready?" Joel asked, knocking at the bathroom door. "Hey, yeah, can you send Sean please?" "Yeah, I'll get him for you," he said, backing away from the door.

A knock startles me. "It's me, open up," Sean's voice echoed through the small bathroom. "What's wrong?" He softly asked closing the door. "I am going to stay with him..." "Okay?" "What do I do?" "You go with him?" "No smartass, like what am I supposed to do? I mean we are like best of friends... I slept with him..." "Yeah, but you're a big girl. You got this," "Sean, that's helpful."

"It's not supposed to be helpful, I'm your friend, not your boyfriend," he laughed. "What do you mean you were just like this when you were my boyfriend," I scoffed. "Just go with him, talk, laugh, and cry, just like you always do. You don't have to tell him anythin', but please open up to someone other than me... You need it," he said before leaving a swift kiss on my forehead.

Joel

He has been in the bathroom with her for quite some time now. I'm not jealous. Just protective, that's all. "Okay, I'm ready now." She spoke in a soft tone. "Okay, well, let's hit the road," I said, taking her bags.

The whole ride back to my house was full of music, she never liked to talk when she was driving with me. She just liked to listen to music and enjoy the drive. "We are here, sweetheart," I whispered as if she was a fragile flower. "You know you didn't have to agree," I said, slouching on the couch. "What do you mean?" "It's just that you look like you regret even coming back to the house, and you could have said that you didn't want to come. I would have left it alone," "Joel, I didn't mean to make it seem like that," she whispered, sitting next to me.

Reader

He sat there with his head hung low... "It's just that you don't seem to want to be here," "I do, I want to be here with you, It's just going to take some time." "Okay, I can respect that," he said with a sad smile... "Just tell me when you want to stop all of this and I'll take you back to Sean's-" "Hey, why would I want to stop all of this? I love this," I smirked at his fake pout. "You know me so well." "You bet your ass I do," I laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

"How about we make some dinner and watch a movie?" "I think that sounds perfect," I sighed, nestling into his soft touches. "What do you want to eat?" "I think some Alfredo pasta will satisfy me more than anything," my stomach growled at the thought. "Well, I must do anything to satisfy you," he laughed, holding me closer. "Yes you must, I am just that precious," I beamed.

"Okay, you get the pasta ready and I'll do the sauce," I said handing him the box of pasta. "I haven't had you cook for me in a very long time," he sighed in relief. "And I haven't had you cook with me in a very long time," I bumped his hip with mine. "Well, it's thanks to you, I can kinda cook, I mean it's nowhere near as good as yours but it'll do if I don't want to starve," he laughed.

"This smells so good Joel," "I agree, but it's only because you made it." "Oh stop it, you helped," I swatted at his shoulder. "Doing what? The pasta?" "Hey, you helped with some of the spices-" "Only because I remembered which ones you liked," he hummed to himself. "Well, isn't that sweet of you?"

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"Not as sweet as you," he whispered, his breath on my neck. "Joel," "what baby?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, I'm just taking you in," he said leaving small kisses along my neck. "Oh, really?" "Yes, you have been out of my touch for too long," he rasped swaying my hips with his. "Joel, we'll burn the food," I gasped feeling his bulge pressed firmly against my ass. "Then turn down the heat," he said reaching over to mess with the knobs. "You're an ass, Mr. Miller," I turned to steal a kiss from him.

I hummed into the kiss, dragging my teeth lightly along his bottom lip. "You are killing me," he pulled away. "Good," I smirked "fuck baby you look so sexy," he said peeling my small shirt off of my heated body and throwing it somewhere on the floor. "Oh, look at all my work," he says as he traces over all the hickeys on my chest, down to my breast.

"I want to hear those sexy moans of yours," he said slipping his hand into my pants. "Fuck!" I practically screamed. "Is this what my pretty baby needed?" he asked teasingly. "Fuck please," I begged as he pulled down my pants along with my panties. "Now, now, you have to be patient baby girl," his voice hoarse as he slid a thick finger down my slits causing my hips to buck into his touch. "Fuck, I barely touched you and you are so wet for me." He said in almost awe "Just for you, Joel," I moaned as he knelt between my thighs.

"Joel, please," I moaned as he made perfect circles on my clit with his soft tongue. "Just like that baby, use my face to get yourself off," he growled inserting two of his thick fingers into my aching cunt. "Fucking shit," I screamed as my thighs shook around his head. My knees almost gave out as I tried to hold myself up. "Yes, baby girl... Cum on my tongue, cum for me," he coaxed "Joel, please make me cum, please," I cried out.

"Oh, there is nothin' I want more, my pretty baby," he cooed as if he wasn't finger fucking me right now. "I can feel how close you are baby, you can let go," "fuck me," I cried breathlessly as a tear of pure euphoria fell down my face. "There you go, give me what I want baby," he rasped as I clenched around his fingers bringing me closer to my release.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant as he curled his finger at an inhuman pace. I came but this time it was different... It was wetter... Shit, what did I do? "I'm so sorry, it won't stop," I cried as it just kept flowing out of me. With a gasp I'm squirting on Joel's face, soaking his mouth and beard...

"Shit baby girl, don't apologize... That was fucking perfect," "I've never done that before," I say trying to catch my breath. "Never?" "I don’t think I have… but this was... Fuck you're soaked," I said collecting my juices from his chin. "You did so good for me," he stood placing a soft and passionate kiss on my lips, "what are you doing?" "My turn," I say acting innocently as I suck and bite from his chest to his tummy.

I pull down his jeans and boxers. I tried to take him as deep as I could without gagging. "Shit baby girl, right there- " He moaned while pulling on my hair making me whimper fuck he looks hot. "Fuck you look so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you," I said with a possessive growl before taking him deeper than last time. "But you are the only one that can have me," he said with lustful eyes, "fuck baby girl just like that, you look so sexy like this," he growled shoving his big cock down my throat.

"Come here," he said in a single breath, "what's wrong?" "As much as I want to cum in that pretty little mouth of yours I really want to cum in you again." "Well don't let me stop you then," I giggled allowing him to pull me with him. "Okay baby girl, are you ready?" His voice is hoarse as he pulled my body against his. "For you? I'm always ready," I smirked as he slid into me with ease because of my wetness "shit!" I slightly yell before I bit down onto his shoulder causing him to smirk.

"Joel, please," I whine rubbing circles on my clit. "What do you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me harder, please!" I cried out as I instinctively clenched around him. "Fuck if you keep clenching me like that I won't last baby," he grunted as his pace got sloppier. "What if I don't want you to last? Hmm?" "Such a slut for my cock huh?" He rasped wrapping a hand around my neck "fuck just like that Joel," I moan chasing my orgasm.

"Oh, my god y/n, you're so fucking tight. I've never fucked a pussy this tight," he slowed his pace to only slam back into me. "Never? Not even the pretty little thing you brought home that one summer?" I hissed resting my head on the cool counter. "Not even her baby, she wasn't you. She wasn't what I wanted," he whispered tangling his fingers in my hair, making a makeshift ponytail with his fist. "And what was that?" "I wanted your sweet little cunt. I wanted to be the one that fucked you. You don't understand how much it pissed me off when you told me you finally fucked that kid," a moan was ripped from his chest as he slammed into me.

"I had to get myself off after that, I tried so hard not to think of you that night... I had a nice boyfriend and all I could think of was fucking you," a moan escaped as I came around his cock. "Just like that, good girl cum on my cock, just like that fuck," he groaned thrusting deep in me. He's so deep when he cums. "Shit!" He grunted as he painted my insides with his hot load... "Fuck baby, you were such a good girl for me," he said trying to catch his breath. "Thank you, Mr. Miller" I gasped as he pulled out with a hiss.

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"Okay, you go take a shower and I'll finish the food," I said with sleepy eyes picking up our clothes. "Okay, I'll be quick so you can take one too," he laughed leaving a swift kiss on my forehead. After a few minutes, I hear the water turn off from upstairs. "Baby! You can come up and take your shower," Joel called out from the stairs, "thank you," I said putting the now-cooked pasta in the sauce.

After that relaxing shower, I headed down the stairs in only Joel's shirt and a small pair of pajama bottoms. "How was your shower?" "It was good, better than Sean's shower," I laughed letting down my hair from the loose bun I held it in. "So I'll get this plated and you pick the movie?" He asked reaching for the plates. "Yeah that would be nice, having you serve me," I hummed to myself and he just laughed at my comment.

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We are cuddled on the couch with my knees bent over his legs as he massaged my calves, watching Coraline, talking like we always do when I hear the turning of the knob. "Dad, you'll never guess what I just heard!" She yelled through the house. "Sarah? What are you doing here?" "I live here duh, what is she doing here?" "She's staying here duh," he said giving her the same flat tone. "Well now this is awkward," she said with a fake pout.

"What is Sarah? That you're acting like you weren't yelling at me the other day or the fact that you are acting like a child and decided to stay at your friends for more than the weekend?" "Neither of those things, well I didn't want to tell you like this but apparently y/n and Sean are back together,, I didn't even know they were together in the first place," she scoffed with a smirk looking my way. Who the fuck told her that? "What do you mean Sarah? I'm not with Sean," I shot up, fixing my posture.

"Well people say otherwise," she barked rolling her eyes. "Who told you that?" "I'm no snitch, but I mean weren't you living with him?" "Yeah, but that doesn't we were sleeping together, you know that," "I don't know, you have been acting so differently lately! I don't even know who you are anymore!" She yelled moving closer to us. "Girls calm down, let's just talk about this, y/n? Is this true? Were you sleeping with him?" Joel asked with sad eyes.

"No, I would never, I mean yeah I love him but we have no future together, you know that..." "See, she still loves him, Dad," "Sarah shut up! Why do you even care?" "Because you're cheating on Mitchy!" "I'm not even with him! Not after that!" "You don't even know what you're talking about!" She yelled in my face. "Okay, one of you tell me what the fuck is going on! Right now!" He yelled pushing us apart. "Don't you dare say shit," she barked with gritted teeth...

"Okay, someone needs to say something! I am tired of this bullshit," Joel yelled as Sarah just gave me a 'say anything and I will end you' look. "There is nothing to say, Joel, I mean it really is nothing-" "See, I told you she was being dramatic!" "You told him what?" "Well, I mean, you are overreacting over nothing!" She huffed, flipping her hair.

"You know what? I treated you like a friend, I didn't have to. Your dad wanted you to make friends, so I did him a favor..." "Yeah right-" "He was my friend way before you even stepped into my life," I barked. "So you were my friend till you fucked everything up," she gave a shove to my shoulder.

"Fine, if you see it that way, then you have no problem with me telling your dad what I did?" "Don't you fucking dare!" She yelled, running at me, instinctively I punched her in the face, making her fall on her ass. "You fucking bitch!" She cursed, holding her nose.

"Joel, do you remember how I told you that Mitchel cheated on me with one of our friends?" "Yeah?" "Well, he did, with Zoe... And Sarah. It had been going on since the second month we were together and when we came to visit and we stayed with my dad, I caught them... And my dad told me to get over it because he had known for months and decided that what they were doing was okay..." I let out a sob.

He just stood there. His face was blank, not a word has left his mouth... "And this is why I said that it didn't matter, you don't have to believe me," I spoke with a sad tone. "Why would he believe you? You are such a liar?" "Sarah, I want you out of this fucking house right now," he barked, raking his fingers through his hair.

"What-" "You heard me, how could you do that to your best friend? She was there for you when you needed her and yet you do this? I mean, what the fuck happened to you?" He question as she stood to her feet, letting the blood drip onto the floor. "Nothing happened to me, what happened to you? I thought you were going to have my side no matter what?" "I do, I did, till you betray someone like this... I didn't raise you to be like that, Sarah-"

"That's right, you didn't raise me, you were always with her!" "I was with her because I was way too nice and let you go out wherever just so you wouldn't throw a tantrum! You wanted to leave so I let you, you seemed happy so I let myself think I was doing a great job... Now look at you, all like your mother." He spat, walking away from us.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled, running at me again. I see red, nothing but red... My ears are ringing as I pounce on her, punching her face. I can't hold back the tears and screams that fall from me. Joel finally gets a grip on me as he pulls me off of her.

"Baby, stop. I know it hurts, but you can't do this!" He yelled as I tried to get free of his arms. "Baby? You're sleeping with her?" Her voice roared as she stood, stomping towards me. "Stop it, both of you! I have had enough of this," he pushed Sarah back as he put me behind him. "You're fucking her? You're fucking my friend-" "She was never your friend! I knew her first, she was in my life first and it is none of your goddamn business who I'm fucking!" He yelled, startling me.

"How could you do this to me? I thought you cared about me y/n!" "I did, at one point I just realized that you were only using me! I stopped talking to everyone here because you and your boyfriend kept putting shit in my head and I just let it happen," I scoffed, pushing Joel from in front of me. "Yeah right, tell yourself whatever you want-" "Fuck you, Sarah, I'm done with this shit. You can just shove it up you ass man," I said walking to the kitchen. "Bitch don't you dare walk away from me!" She yelled after me. "Sarah, that's enough! Leave her alone," Joel called out following us.

"Sarah, please just give it a rest, I wasn't allowed to get mad when I found out that he slept with you so you have no right to get mad about me sleeping with your dad," I sighed turning to her just to get punched in the shoulder... I just stand there with a blank face in disbelief. "You punch like a bitch," I laughed before my fist met her face once again.

"This is what you want Dad? This bitch who hits me?" "Don't call her that, and you started this. Stop acting like a child," he barked pulling her back from me. "Joel, do you want me to leave Because I can go-" "Yes-" "No, you're not going anywhere, the one who is leaving is you, Sarah, I'm not gonna say it again," "Dad-" "No, you have brought shame to this family, I can't believe you did this to someone who gave you all their attention," he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just go Sarah," "dad-" "Sarah, please just leave. I don't want you here right now!" "Fine, you can have this bitch," "Sarah," he gave a warning glare. "You two deserve each other, this is so fucked up!" She yelled storming out the front door.

"That was so unnecessary," I laughed, "you're laughin' right now?" He asked with a raised brow. "Sorry, I just thought that wasn't going to come out," I sound crazed. "What?" "I wasn't going to tell you, I was going to keep it to myself probably till the day I died," I laughed as tears fell. "That's what Sean wanted you to tell me?" "Yeah," "You told him and not me?" His tone was angry, "Joel, it was a great idea at the time." "You could have called me..." "No I couldn't have," "Yes-"

"No, they were in the dorms at all times, they invaded my personal space then my mind... I couldn't even think for myself at times, I had to make sure it was okay with them... I couldn't call you because Mitchel found it weird and would tell Sarah that I was talking to you so she would ask about every little detail we talked about and made me tell her," "how could she make you?" He scoffed.

"She would make Mitchel hit me, or... Or she would do it herself, I had to hide so many bruises when we would come over, I had to hide so much from you when we came over," I sighed sliding down to the floor. "Why? Why would you do that?" "Because I thought I was going to lose you," I choked on my words as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Why would you think that?" "Because she's your daughter, family comes first-" "No, you come first... She never treated you right, I love my daughter but that's not the little girl I raised so technically she's not my daughter-" "Joel, don't say that..."

"No I mean it-" "No you don't, this is why I didn't want to say anything... Either you would hate me, or you would hate her," I let a tear fall. "Oh my sweet baby, I could never hate you," he rushed to his knees to sit between mine.

Silence with Joel always seems to ease anything that happens. "How about we go to bed?" His soft tone broke me free from thought. "I'm not sleepy yet-" "Your body says otherwise," he pointed to my tired eyes. "Joel, it's fine. I'm good-" "Nope, you're in our house, you're not gonna be tired unless I make you tired," he said with a smirk picking me up bridal style. Our house... I giggled at the thought.

He softly laid me on his bed as if I were a delicate flower. "Joel, I could sleep in my own bed," I sat on my elbows watching him crawl into bed. "No, from now on you'll be sleeping in my- our bed," he hummed. "Joel,-" "Don't say anything right now, let's just be like this just for a little bit," he has always said 'our house' but this time it feels like it has a different meaning like he really means it this time. "I can see you thinking, what's on your mind?" His hands made soft strokes through my hair. "Nothing, just that... I love this," I gave a quick kiss before turning over, "I love this too," his words almost sounding sad...

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I see his watch on the nightstand, 3:45 AM... Of course, he's not in bed. walking down the stairs I hear a slight sniffle. "Joel?" I softly called out as I made my way through the kitchen to the living room. "Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked wiping a tear. "Are you crying?" "No, of course not," he adjusted on the couch "Joel, come on," I sat beside him.

"Tell me what's wrong," I held his hand, "it's just- what happens when you leave me?" "Leave you?" "Yeah, you'll go back to school and you're not gonna want me anymore," he more to himself than me. "Why do you say that?" "You love this, not me... You love the small world we're in, not us," he rolled his eyes. "You really think that?" "I mean how else am I supposed to see it?"

"Really Miller?" I scoffed poking his shoulder. "You got me fucked up if you think of me like that, I love what we have... Because it's us, I love us, I love you," I laughed, leaving a puzzled look on his face. "You love me?" "Yes, I have been in love with you since I was 17," "You really love me?" "Joel Miller, I know we don't say 'I love you' unless we really mean it, so do you think I mean it?"

"Yes, I mean-" "Joel, shut up," I laughed pulling him in for a soft kiss, his breath hitched as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Joel Miller, you are a sucker and I love making you a sucker," I smiled at his puppy eyes. "Now, you're gonna come back to bed because if you don't I'll force you to watch movies all morning," I giggled pulling him off the couch. "Yes ma'am," he rushed up to tickle me "Joel, if you don't stop tickling me!" I yelled running up the stairs. "You'll do what? Huh?" "I'll bite you because I know my tickles don't faze you," I cried with laughter as we reached the bed. "You know I'll like it," he laughed tossing us on the messy bed.

Joel

I finally have her, she's mine. I have this woman all to myself. It's wrong but it feels so right, I never thought I would have her all to myself. "So, how long will she be mad at us?" She asked as I cradled her face in my hands. "She will never get over it," I said in a hushed voice, "I love you," she whispered, "I love you, and I don't care who knows," I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Joel, I love you, I love you enough to let you go-" "To let me go? Are you breaking up with me?" "No-" "I knew you would, I don't know why I keep tellin' myself that anyone could love this old fool," I huffed hopping off the bed. "Hey! Don't you dare talk about yourself like that! Ever, this isn't about me or you-Well it's about you a little bit... I just don't want you to sacrifice your relationship with your daughter for me," she yelled standing on her knees, the bed making her a bit taller than me. "I won't be, she made her decision and I made mine, I lost you once and I ain't gonna lose you again-" "You won't, I'll still come by but I- We just can't be us," "no, that's not good enough for me, and neither is it for you, you deserve to be happy, and if that's with me then I am gonna make it happen," I sighed, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Hey, look at me, I am happy... With you, I am happy with you. I will never change my mind, I will never get tired of you, and I certainly won't stop loving you," I placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I just want you to be happy, I don't want to be the reason you're not, you may feel like you can love me forever right now... But what happens when the guilt comes back? When you regret being with me and miss your daughter?" "I will always miss her, but I miss the old her... I will never regret being with you, I love- I have always loved you... No one in this world could ever change that," I gave a weak laugh as a tear rolled down her sad face.

"I will love you till I die, I don't think I could stop loving you... Even if I tried." "Joel?" "Yeah?" "What happens when I leave?" "We will make it work, I'll visit you, and you'll come visit me. We will make it work. And, we go back to our late-night calls because I miss hearing your voice at the end of a hard day," "me too," she sniffled. "When do you go back?" "I leave in a 7 days, then I'll have a week left to prepare for the new semester..." "Okay, till then we will not leave this bed no matter what," I smiled rolling us over onto our sides.

"I would love to see that but you mister, have work in the morning." "Don't remind me, I was hopin' to forget so I can stay here with you all day," "I don't think so Joel, I know you love me but you love working more," she smiled, poking my dimple. "Get some sleep hun," I sighed, placing a kiss on her temple. "yes Sir," she giggled tucking her cold hands under my shirt, "why you little-" "What?" She laughed, her beautiful laugh. "Get some sleep baby, you need it," "Thank you, I love you," she mumbled sleepishly, "I love you more, more then you can ever know... You understand-" I trailed off listening to her small light snores. I am the luckiest man in this world, to have this woman to myself... To be the one to hold her, to be the one she comes home to at the end of the day... I am so in love with her it almost hurts.

I walk into our room to see her peacefully tangled in our sheets. Her light snores, those plumped lips slightly parted, she is so beautiful. "Baby," I lightly shook her arm, "yeah?" She mumbled. "I'm heading to work, I love you and I will see you later. Don't forget to eat somethin'," I whispered, rubbing her arm. "Okay, be safe," she sniffled "you feelin' alright darlin'?" "Yeah, I just want us to sleep for a little longer," she hummed holding my hand. "I wish, but we can't," I smiled scooting next to her.

 The sound of my phone stirs her in her peaceful state. "Goddamn it Tommy, what do you want?" "I just needed to know when you're goin' get here?" "Well actually, Y/n isn't feeling well, I am going to stay here with her," the lie leaves my lips when she covers my chest with her body. "Are you sure?" "Yes Tommy, can you stop by the shop and tell Daniel for me?" "Whatever." Tommy scoffed before hangin' up.

"Looks like you got your way," I softly laughed placing my phone on my nightstand. "Good," she muttered, adjusting her head on my chest. I softly sweep the sleep-ruined hair out of her face. "Babygirl, your head feels hot, are you feeling okay?" "Yeah," she groaned as I raked my fingers through her sweaty hair. "I think you might be running a fever, let me go and get the thermometer," I said with furrowed brows, walking to the shelf. "Here, put this under your tongue," my voice soft as I climb up next to her. "I don't want to," she grunted, shaking her heavy head away. "Baby, you have to, I have to see how high your temperature is," I raked my fingers through her hair again. "You're sweating so much, you might need a bath," "I don't want to." "Well, you have to," I grabbed her chin, causing her to furrow her brows in question. "Put this under your tongue," I softly spoke as she opened her mouth. "There you go, now I will go get you a bath started," I said leaving him once again. "Jesus honey, 100.9 F," I sighed, checking the thermometer. "Mmm," she grunted, shifting her position. "Come on, you need a bath, you're sweating." "Do I have to get up?" "Yes, it will make you feel better," "I just want to lay here," she mumbled. "You need to get up baby," "I know," her voice weak as she finally opened her eyes. "Can you get up on your own?" "Yeah, I just feel a little dizzy," she shook her head, rubbing her eyes. "Come on, let's get you in the bath, I think it will help," I said helping her stand up. "Here you go, have a seat- be careful," I sighed helping her sit on the toilet. "Come on, let's get you undressed," "Like what you see?" She gave a weak smile. "Really?" "Sorry," she let out a breathy laugh as she stood up to take off her pants. "You got it?" "Yeah, I got it," she mumbled, hooking his thumbs under his waistline. "Okay, I'm gonna get your clothes ready if you need anything," I softly spoke, watching her get undressed. "Okay, I will let you know," she nodded, settling in the water. I stood there, hesitant to leave her in such a state.

"Joel?" I heard from inside the bathroom "yeah? Are you okay?" "Yeah, I am, but could you get my back? I have tried but my arms are a little weak right now," she rolled her eyes handing me the wash cloth. "Yeah, of course" I grabbed the wash cloth as I sat on the edge of the tub. "Thank you Joel," "you don't have to thank me," I smiled slowly dragging the wash cloth across her back. "I mean it, really, thank you, you didn't have to do this," she gave me a weak smile.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked when she sat on the foot of our bed in nothing but a fluffy towel. "Yeah," she nodded, "do you want me to make you something to eat?" I questioned, placing her clothes on the bed next to her. "No, I am good, but thank you," she laughed, messing with her messy, wet hair. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure," she said, with a soft smile.

I stared at her perfect and soft skin. The scent of her favorite freshly sprayed perfume... "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just taking you in hun." "Why?" She cocked her brow with a knowing smile. "Because I love you, I was worried for a minute." "You have taken care of me many times like this, we'll be just fine," "I know, but it's different now I can't explain it, but it just is," I sighed, shaking my head.

Reader

3 days left... I have 3 days left with the man of my dreams. The past 4 days were spent tangled up in sheets and long days waiting for him to come home to me. "Baby, I'm home!" His voice echoed throughout the house as he entered the living room. "I'm in the kitchen, I'm making' your favorite!" I said with a smile, hearing his heavy boots crossing the house. "You treat me so good baby girl," "and you treat me even better," I gasp when I turn and see the flowers in his hand. "What's the special occasion?" I questioned before placin' a swift kiss on his lips. "Nothin' much, the owner of the house we're buildin' wanted to thank us, and Tommy had mentioned you earlier that day and she remembered so she gave me some flowers for you," he smiled. "And they just so happen to be my favorite flowers?" "She may have had a very large garden," he gave a shy smile.

"You are somethin' else Mr. Miller, but thank you they are beautiful," I smiled, bending down to get a vase from the cupboard. "And you are even more beautiful then them flowers, why don't you take a break and let me take care of the food and put those flowers in some water?" He hummed, "no baby, you just got home, rest and put your feet up- Plus the food is almost done," "now I know you are lyin', just let me help-" "Joel Miller, you have worked a 12 hour shift, if you don't let me take care of you-" "You'll do what?" "I don't know, I'll tie you down or somethin'" I laughed. "I just want to help," "okay, how about you set the table and then you can go ahead and pick out a movie we can watch after?" I shrug, "I swear it's like you don't want me in here," he gave a faux pout, "you can come back, I just want you to pick the movie because I will take forever to pick one," I laughed "mhmm," he rolled his eyes playfully.

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The soft knock at the door woke me from the light sleep I was in. I look to Joel who is fast asleep, grabbing his phone from his lap- 4:30 in the morning. 3 missed calls from Sarah- Okay... The knock draws my attention from the phone. "Can I help you- What are you doing here at this time of night?" "Technically it's in the the morning-" "Sarah, answer me," "I just wanted to come by and say sorry-" "Why now?" "Because I thought it was the right thing to do-" "I mean why at this time? You know your dad goes to work early in the morning, why didn't you come by after he got off? Or call him after work?" "Why are you sounding like you're my mom-" "Why the fuck would you even say that? I am not trying to sound like your mom, I am talkin' to you like a person so I'm sorry if you can't handle someone talkin' to you right. If you want to talk to your dad you can come back after he gets off of work," I rolled my eyes stepping back. "But you're going to tell him about what I said right?" "No Sarah, I am not," "why not?" "Because I am not your fuckin' messenger! You are a big girl you deal with it, or is it all just an act to make you look cooler for your boyfriend?" I scoffed.

"You have no right to say that-" "I honestly don't care about what you have to say, I just want to go back to sleep and for you to stop talkin' all this crazy shit because I am gettin' really tired of it-" "Both of you get in this damn house, now!" he yelled pullin' me with him. "Dad, I just wanted to say how sorry-" "I don't care how sorry you are or were, I don't care. What I do want to know is why are you here?" "Because I missed you, and I wanted to talk to you-" "Sarah for once in your life be honest with me," he sighed plopin' himself on the empty loveseat next to me.

"See this is what she does to people dad, she turns them against me-" "Do I have to keep remindin' you? I met her first. I knew her first. I know how she is, I was there for her and she was there for me- And it was not in a romantic way... We were actually friends, and it may be hard for you to hear this but... I know her better than you could ever know. She- Her- I know her, I have been there for her, you have made her second guess everything with me! I love her and I hate to say it but I will choose her over anyone at this point-"

"Joel-" "No, she needs to hear this so she can get it through her thick ass skull, you fucked up. You tried to ruin something you knew you couldn't. I love you I really do... But the way you have been actin' over these past few years- It really has me questionin' how I raised you, so you can leave now because I am done with this. I don't have the patience to forgive you right now." He sighed standing from the loveseat...

"But dad-" "No Sarah I am done, I have been done for years!" "Then why didn't you put a stop to it years ago?" "Because of her! You were her friend, after you started actin' like your mom she was my friend then you became her friend... After you stared behaving like you are now- You were just a friend of my best friend-" "Dad-" "No, you don't get to call me dad if you are going to be actin' like that because I am so damn tired of you actin' like a child so if yo don't mind get the hell out of our house if you ain't gonna act right," he huffed pushing past her.

"Y/N, tell him something!" "Like what Sarah? What a shitty friend you have been? Or the fact that you basically sabotaged everything good that happened to me?" "No, like that I am his daughter or something like that!" She yelled as he tiredly drug his feet up the stairs. "I'm sorry Sarah, I can't say anything that will change his mind, he has to come to that decision on his own... So just give him time and stop doing stupid shit, now please leave so I can go talk to him," I sighed pointing to the door, "fine whatever, you are always the-" "Stop talkin' if you want to get on anyones good side, I fuckin' mean it," I glared at her, without anymore words or even a look she walked out the door like she was told.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The last day... This is my last day with him. "Baby?" He yelled from the living room, "yes?" "Can you come and help me?" "Sure?" I laughed at the concern in his voice. "What do you need my help with?" "Nothin' hard or anythin' it's just in the kitchen," "okay, but if you are plannin' on cookin' remember I made reservations-" "Surprise!" He yelled steppin' out of the view of the table. "Joel what is this?" I gasped,

"it's a goin' away gift, you have been treating me so good as you usually do and I felt like I haven't been puttin' in my work unless you count orgasms but I just felt like you needed more from me," "oh baby, I didn't need any of this but thank you so much for this! I love it," I place a deep and passionate kiss on his lips. "Thank you, for the cake, the flowers, the candles, the lightin', and thank you for bein' you Joel... I mean it, I couldn't of asked for a better man than you," I smiled as he took my hand in his. "All right stop being all romantic and go get ready for dinner," he laughed pushin' me away, "yes sir, whatever you say," I playfully shoved him.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

"Home at last," he smiled puttin' the truck in park "thank you for tonight Joel, I had so much fun," "good, I'm glad you did," "I can't wait for the first break back," "I really do wish you didn't take the first month seriously so you can come and visit," "you see, I want to believe that you don't mean that I know you mean that with every bone in your body," I laughed opening the door to the truck.

The feelin' of walkin' into our home is a feelin' I could live off of for the rest of my life. "Thank you for tonight, I know I said that already but I just can't thank you enough," I gave a lazy smile as I linked my arms around his neck "Baby you never have to thank me, I love doin' anythin' for you- You know there is one thing you could do for me," "which is?" "You can kiss me now, I have been waitin' for you to give me one and you have been ignorin' me here," "I literally gave you one before we got off the truck," "yeah but now we are in our house, so I want one now," he looked at me with those faux puppy dog eyes. "You are such a pain in the ass you know that Miller," "I sure do, and you ain't gettin' rid of me either," I rolled my eyes before placin' a sweet kiss on his lips before pullin' away.

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"You know you are very tempting?" "I know," I smirked as he gripped my chin with a bit of force. "This black dress you are wearing shows off your beautiful curves, I mean the way your breasts just fit so perfectly in that black laced bra you are wearing is just mmm," he softly groaned at the thought. "You drive me insane, I could just bend you over this counter and fuck you senselessly," he rasped, he dropped my chin moving to my hair, making a fist in my messy waves "oh you would like that wouldn't you?" I hummed turning my gaze.

"Oh you know I would love that, having your perfect body in my hands falling apart as I pound into you," he gripped my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. "you are such a brat," "oh and what are you doing to do about it? Spank me?" I playfully scoffed. "I just might baby, bend you over my knee and paint your ass a pretty shade of red," I whimper at the thought of having his hands on me in any way he wants. "Mmm such a pretty mouth," he gripped my jaw with his large hand "thank you," I smirked. "Look at those pleading eyes, what do you want? Say it," He growled, "please fuck me Sir," my voice drippin' with lust. His gaze turned dark as he attached his lips to my body. Sucking and biting "fuck Joel you'll leave hickeys" I moaned, clawing at his broad shoulders.

"That's the point, you. Are. Mine." He groaned through every bite "fuck you taste so good baby" all I could do was moan. So lost in pleasure I failed to realize that his thick fingers have been playin' with my clit "fuck I'm gonna cum fuck-" I was cut off by my own moan "then cum for me, my beautiful girl." With is words of encouragement my back arches against his chest. "Fuck.. yes just like that" I scream as my orgasm took over, as I catch my breath Joel licks his fingers clean "mmm you taste good baby girl" he pulls his fingers out of is mouth and brings them towards mine. "Suck" he commands as a smirk danced on his face, I obey, wrappin' my lips around his thick fingers "good girl" he praised.

"Fuck baby you look so sexy in this dress" he groaned, tracing my curves teasingly over the thin fabric. "oh look at of all my work" he teases while tracing over the recovering hickeys on my chest, toying with the neck of my dress slightly pullin' down, then down to my breast. "No bra? Naughty girl," he tsked. "Strip, leave your panties on for me like a good girl," "yes Sir," I whisper, lost in his piercing gaze. The strings to my dress beggin' to come undone faster then I can move. Untying the cute bow I secured them in, slowly draggin' the dress down, against my body.

"So pretty, all for me?" "Yes Sir, I'm all yours," my voice above a whisper. "Why so quiet now? Hm? You were usin' that pretty mouth so well not that long ago, what happened?" "I-" the words caught in my throat, the look of pure lust written on his face is hypnotizin'. "Come on baby girl use your words for Daddy, be a real good girl for me princess," his voice hoarse.

"Please," "please what baby doll? Want me to touch you? Make you feel good?" "Yes Sir," "what's the magic word?" "Please?" "Such a good girl, always uses her manners. Always so good, I can't wait to ruin you," his smirk never fading as he inched closer to my almost naked body.

His hand made it's way up to my breast, "so pretty, so fuckin' pretty," he groaned pinchin' and rollin' a nipple between his fingers. The whimper that broke free from my throat when the pain of his finger tips crashin' down on my nipple, leavin' a string of pain and pleasure behind in it's wake was pure pornographic. Quick to cover my mouth to stop the moan from fallin' out.

"No baby let me hear how good I make you feel, I want to hear those sexy moans of yours" he whispered against my lips, slipping his hand into my panties. "Please, please, please Sir," I chant like a prayer, "so wet for me already?" He teasingly asked, smiled knowingly. "Only for you, Daddy- shit" I moan as he circled my clit in a perfect motion making me see stars.

"I'm going to cum" I moan quietly "cum for me" he commands, "cum for me, now," his husky voice sending shivers down my spine. "Be my pretty slut, cum on my fingers," "I don't wanna cum yet-" "Don't care, cum," his pace brutal as he sank two thick finger into me. "Good girl, taking my fingers so good," his words corrupt my brain as I release on his fingers. Strugglin' to catch my breath, he wraps his lips around his fingers. "I didn't think dinner could beat how good you taste, open wide for me," he smiles, slidin' his fingers into my mouth.

With a smirk I push him till the backs of his knees hit couch, pushin' him down, straddlin' his thick thighs. "what are you doin' princess?" He questioned raising a brow "nothin' Daddy," I say innocently rocking my hips "fuck baby girl just like that you look so sexy like this," "Joel, you make me feel so good, you haven't even fucked me yet and I'm already a mess for you," I moaned grinding myself on his bulge. "You sound so sexy moaning my name" his breath hitched as I lick a long strip on his neck, sucking softly when I found his sweet spot.

"Fuck baby" he moaned, trappin' hid bottom lip between his teeth, I suck my way down to his exposed collarbones, "off please," "anything you want baby girl," his face lit up with pleasure. "Fuck you are so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you" I groan, holding his gaze. "But you are the only one that can have me" he said with lustful eyes.

I run my hand along his body as I sink between his thick thighs, "look at how hard you are for me, I haven't even takin' you out yet and yet you are still so big," my voice dippin' with lust as I unzip his jeans. "Look at you Joel, god I fuckin' love you," I whisper, tuggin' his boxers along with his rough jeans down. "You okay baby?" He questioned when I stoped to take him in. "Yeah, it's just that you are mine, I have you all to myself," my tone hushed as I run my fingers on the inner sides of his thighs, tracing the nearly healed bruises I marked him with days ago.

"I have always belonged to you, there was never a doubt," he whispered leavin' small strokes on my hair. Watching the way his cock twitched under my gaze, "baby, you just gonna look at me all night?" "I just might Mr. Miller," I smirked, takin' his cock in my hands. I love how responsive he is to my touch. The moan that leaves his chest with a deep rumble sends pure warmth of pride to my chest.

"I love you," I whispered before takin' into my mouth. "I love you, god I love you. Fuck you you treat me so good baby," he groaned lollin' his head. "Joel, look at me," "what?" "Look at me, I want you to watch me while I fuck you with my mouth," I grinned, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head.

"You are so fuckin' good baby girl, god I love your mouth," his hips creatin' their our pace, "just like that, just like that princess- Fuck takin' me so well," his moans bounce off the wall as he fisted my hair, takin' over. His thrust harsh as he chases the warmth of my mouth, "you know, I'm gonna be thinkin' of this night for weeks right? Fistin' my cock till I cum just thinkin' of your pretty fuckin' mouth on me like this. Thinkin' of that tight cunt wrapped around me, takin' me so well- Fuck just like that, look at me- Keep your eyes on me," he rasped, the pace he set is brutal- Fuck I love it.

He pulled me off of his cock with a pop and a thick string of saliva connecting us. "Climb up, my pretty baby," he smiled, pullin' my up by my hair. He placed a soft and passionate kiss on my lips as he pulled my panties to the side.

"Please," I whimpered through the kiss, "please what? You want me to fuck you?" "Yes, please Sir," I cried for him, "such a good girl," he moaned, pulling on my hair forcing out a pleasureful whimper, fuck he's so sexy. Archin' my back, forcin' my breasts into his face "I have missed these," he hummed burring his face in my breasts slowly sliding his cock into me.

"You are so perfect, made just for me. Takin' me so well baby, you are doing so good," he whispered into my shoulder as I just take him and moan. "Shit baby girl, right there," he shuttered into the nape of my neck "god this feels so perfect, you are mine." He whispered into my ear.

"I'm all yours, you can be the only one who can destroy me," I gasp when he shifted into a deeper position. "No one else can fuck you, or even touch you... All mine." "Oh fuck, Joel just like that please, I'm so close," I begged as he started thrusting up into me.

My orgasm over took me as he set a brutal pace, chasin' his own high. I clenched tightly around him as the pleasure began to feel painfully good. "Fuck Joel," I cry, my eyes makin' their way to the back of my head. "Cum in me, I want you so deep in me Joel," I moaned, my legs shaking from the pleasure I'm endurin', "all mine," he groaned.

"Shit baby girl you will make me cum-fuck!" He moaned with a shaky voice and with one last thrust he shot his hot and thick cum into me."Yes just like that baby, doin' so good for me- Fuck yes- Oh my god Darlin'," he moaned with a shaky breath.

"Please Joel, show me how good I make you feel," I rasp pullin' him impossibly closer. "You are so perfect, my princess, my everything- Shit I'm so close baby," his voice hoarse as his movements faltered.

With one last powerful thrust he shot thick ropes of his hot cum deep in me. I felt his thighs shaking beneath me, "you okay Joel?" I questioned as his moans went silent. "I'm doin' just fine Darlin', how about we take a nice long bath hm?" "I would love that very much, carry me?" "'Course baby, I want to keep some of me inside of you as long as I can, I don't need you drippin' me everywhere now do I?" "You were doin' so good Joel, then you have to say shit like that," I playfully shove his shoulder. After our long bath we both decided that is was best to stay in bed all night

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He's watching a silly movie that was on tv, a movie that I stoped paying attention to a long time ago, he laughed as he raked his long fingers through his hair. I can't even take my eyes off of him, "what?" He asked with his smile that melts my heart.

"How did I get so lucky to be here, with you?" "No, it's the other way around," he playfully scoffed leanin' in for a kiss, "you look so perfect in this lighting" he smiled, playin' with my hair. "See that is where you are wrong," I smiled, grabbing my old Polaroid I rolled onto his lap. "I love you in this lightin'," I giggled, takin' a picture.

"See you look even better in this lightin',' I planted a swift kiss on his lips climbin' off his lap, "come lay down with me," I whispered pulling him close to my chest. "This feels nice," he sighed wrappin' his arms around my waist as he lays between my legs "this does," I matched his low tone, playin' with his hair. Sleep over took us and we stayed in our own little world for a bit longer that night.

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1 Month Later

"So where are you going for the extended weekend?" "To my boyfriends, what about you?" I asked while packin' my book bag. "To my mom's- You are going to see your man and you are taking your books?" "What? We have an exam next week," I laughed, "yeah on Thursday, okay so is he coming to pick you up or?" "No, I was hopin' to surprise him at home because he should be gettin' back from lunch by now," I say checkin' my watch.

A soft knock echoed through our quiet dorm, "can you get that? I know Nancy was bringing' everyone 'see you soon' cookies," "yeah, I got it," she said hoppin' off her bed. "Tell her I want 2!" I softly yell as she opened the door, "okay but it's not Nancy- It's for you," "what do you mean?" I questioned as she pushed open the door. "Joel! You made it!" I yelled hoppin' in his arms, "'course I made it, I told you I would be here and here I am," he laughed spinnin' me around.

"How? You're supposed to be at work right now," "I got off early- Well technically I requested it weeks ago but still," "but I wanted to surprise you!" I gave a fax pout and a playful push. "And I wanted to do the same... So I win," "oh shut up Miller," I laughed, placin' a kiss on his lips.

"Careful she has books and she just might hit you with them," she chuckled "the sad thing is that she already has-" "Oh shut up, Eva this is Joel, Joel this is Eva my roommate," "it's nice to meet the man she has been talking about," "yeah iand it's nice to meet the girl she will not shut up about- I mean it's like she loves you more than me," he laughed.

"Well I think she loves those books more than us- We might be out numbered," they laughed. "Both of you shut up, I want to go home y'all are mean," I giggled, "okay let's get you home, hm?" "Bye Eva, see you Sunday," "yeah you two have fun- Not to much fun," she eyed me "yeah, yeah, bye," I shushed trappin' her in a tight hug.

Hoppin' in his truck as he put my bags in the back, "stop," "what?" "Stop stearin'," "I'm not," "I can feel you lookin' at me Darlin'," "I am allowed to look," "then so am I," he chuckled and he shut his door. "So how's Sarah?" "She's good, she uh- She got into a good rehab place," "it got that bad?" "Yeah, nut she's workin' on herself so there's that," "that's good Joel," "yeah, now let's get you home," "yes Sir," I smiled, placin' my hand in his.

And they lived happily every after

The End

(I know this isn't the best but it'll be fine ig lol)

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

I was thinking about Misa!reader x draken angst no comfort or angst and comfort uhhh oneshot? (if you want)

you know Misa right? from death note. soo like reader basically acts and looks like Misa and is childhood friends with draken and is in LOVE with draken. in the year of 2005 on uhhh February 14, misa!reader leaves a love letter in draken's room and then decides to go to a bakery or something for a cake for draken BUT she gets jumped by a rival gang and is be4t to death. and draken finds out.. she can di3 or survive the be4tings.. sorry if this was confusing or if this is uncomfortable for you!

Hi! This isn't uncomfortable for me, do not worry! I love angst with all of my heart and I'm more than happy to write it. Thank you for requesting<333

Warnings: cuss words, strong/mature language, gang violence, angst.

Finally.

After 10 years from the first day of your and Draken's friendship, you've gathered up the courage to confess to him.

It's February 14 today, the day you first met Draken 10 years ago. You've been hinting at him for a while, that you were in love with him but he turned out to be denser than expected.

You came over to his place but being the vice commander of Toman, he was currently busy so he asked you to wait for him. That's when the idea of writing him love letter popped up in your mind.

Sitting in the quiet room, you grabbed paper and pen from his desk and started writing your feelings down. Your cheeks heating up in the process.

"Dear Ken,

I've been trying to tell you something for 10 years now, but I didn't have enough courage. Even now, I'm embarrassed to say it to your face, hence why I'm writing this letter. I love you, Ken. Not as a friend but as something more. I have had feelings for you since the day I met you. I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner but I was, still am, scared. I'm scared of being rejected. I'm afraid that even when I've given you my heart, you won't accept it. That's why I'm unable to face you. I'm using this as an opportunity to tell you that I love you. I love you to the moon and back. You're my world.

From [name]"

You left the letter on his desk, feeling rather anxious. Leaving his place, you went outside to get some fresh air. Even if you've decided to tell him like this, you couldn't help but feel anxious. So, you thought going outside would help you calm down a little. But you just ended up getting overwhelmed by the amount of people outside.

After walking to another place, somewhere with less amount of people, were you able to finally calm down.

But it didn't last long.

"Hey, beautiful." The guy's voice interrupted your thoughts. The voice and face of his was unfamiliar, obviously you have never met him before. "Mind giving us your phone number?" He said with wicked smirk. Two guys behind him were eyeing you up and down.

Because of your little career, you certainly were popular and had deal with people like him before. You declined his offer. "I'm sorry but I have to decline."

He frowned. "Why?"

His friend started speaking up now. "Come on, sweet thing, we're just asking for your phone number."

You cringed at the petname, wishing nothing but to punch him in the jaw, if he wasn't twice of your size, that it. You shook your head, turning away to leave but one of them grabbed your wrist.

"Why are you playing hard to get, you bitch?!"

You started to get anxious again, trying to get free from their grasp but the air got knocked out of you as one of them punched you in the stomach. You fell on the ground. "HELP! SOMEBO-" You weren't able to finish as the powerful kick was delivered to your face.

Your eyes watered up, tears threatening to spill. They continued with their kicks and punches, beating you up to pulp. You would have certainly died had the police not arrived.

...

Draken stepped in his own room, expecting to see you but was met with empty and silent room instead. Sighing out of disappointment, he sat down on his bed, eager for rest after the meeting.

That's when the piece of paper caught his attention. He took it in his hands and started reading it, already guessing that it was from you.

But...His jaw dropped, eyes widening in shock, as he read the letter multiple times, thinking his eyesight was deceiving him. The blush creeped up on his cheeks, smile forming up on his lips.

There's no way he'd reject you. He loved you just as much.

The call on his phone snapped him out of his thoughts, seeing his friend's name, he picked up. "Yes?" Hearing his friend's panicked voice, anxiety creeped up in his body.

"Draken you h-have to hurry! [name] is in the hospital. Badly b-beaten up!" the person sobbed out over the phone.

Draken froze. "W-What..?" His voice was so weak and shaky, hardly processing whatever he just got told. He immediately rushed to his bike, driving to the hospital that his friend told to come to.

Draken was praying in his heart, praying to God that you'd survive. Despite his trembling hands, he was able to drive to the hospital without crashing with anything. But his safety didn't matter to him now. He rushed in the hospital, hurriedly going up to third floor where you were.

Your family members were already there, crying. Crying as if they lost their lifetime, only tragedy written on their face. Your friends sobbing in the corner. "Where is she? How is she?!" Draken asked, louder than he expected.

The sight before him making his skin crawl from fear, fear that he has lost you. One of your friend stood up, trying to calm down as they informed him. "[Name]...She's in critical condition. Doctors s-said she might not survive."

He could swear, he could swear that he felt his world falling apart to pieces, the ground beneath his shattering and dragging him in the void. He felt like there were ropes around his neck, choking him to death as he struggled to breathe.

He didn't know what to say. All Draken wanted to do was to see you and hold you in his embrace, but he just got informed that you might die.

"H-How did this happen?" He finally managed to speak up, his voice barely audible.

"She got jumped by some assholes and they beat her up to death. Police arrested them though."

His sorrow got replaced with uncontrollable anger. He wanted nothing but to beat those morons up to death, to actual death bed and deliver them to reaper with his own hands.

He sat down on the hospital chair, his knuckles turning white from the strength he was putting in his fists, his nails cutting his skin. He couldn't do anything else except waiting. He hated how helpless he was, not being able to help you at all.

He remembered the letter you wrote for him. I love you, Ken. He remembered your words, his heart starting to feel incredibly heavy. As if it was about to fall in his stomach from the weigh of grief he was feeling.

He sent his prayers to God, praying to him to don't take you away while the cold tears run down his cheeks.

"please, God...I can't live without her."

♡♡♡♡

Hii! I hope you're satisfied with this<333

Gosh, I LOVE angst.