#it just means there's nothing showing up on a scan. there's still microscopic disease
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ugh i have scans in like 9 days and i wish they would just HURRY UP. i fucking hate waiting so much the weeks before. they were supposed to happen mid november but then i caught COVID so. it's my 6 months surgical "remission" scans so my chances of recurrence are especially high right now 🥲
#it's called surgical remission bc they take all the solid tumors out. which isn't actual remission#it just means there's nothing showing up on a scan. there's still microscopic disease#anyway yeah my doctors have told me that it's more of a 'when' than an 'if' so every scan month is like hell 🥲🥲🥲#just waiting to know whether or not i need to pack a hospital bag and get infusions again sigh#idek what's available to me anyway if it is back. all the viable options either didn't work or were unsafe for me#fuck osteosarcoma dude this shit sucks#ANYWAY#chatter#round 2
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The Duff || Fred Weasley
pairing: Fred Weasley x reader (any house)
summary: your life became too stressing lately, and Fred Weasley, although generally very annoying, manages to distract you just enough when he stops talking.
A/N: completely based on the book The Duff. Like completely. So reader may have some issues with her appearance. Sorry about my other fics! It’s just that, when an idea pops, I have to write. It’s a big fic. (feel like it’s one of my brightest works)
words: + 11k
warnings: insinuations and mentions of sex; body insecurities; sick father, etc
Harry Potter Masterlist || Musical Hogwarts Series
You couldn't understand what could be the fun in going to Three Broomsticks to party. The place is one of the oldest bars in Hogwarts, but not long ago, Madam Rosmerta decided to add a dance floor in one of the darkest sides of the pub, and she got one of those muggle music machines. It was very nice if your thing was dancing in sweat and rubbing your body in people.
Easy to say it was most definitely not your thing.
"Okay, that's it for you," said Madam Rosmerta, taking your mug away. It once was filled with butterbeer, but the barmaid seemed to think you had gotten it filled way too many times for a night.
"Oh, come on," you complained, "there's no alcohol on those."
"I know. But it has sugar, and you had one too many," Rosmerta said, ignoring your pout and walking away from your side of the counter so she could serve other costumers.
Your brain fought a battle to decide if it was worth contesting and explaining that not offering you more butterbeer was causing the barmaid to lose money when the stool next to you cried with the weight that was jumping on it.
"Good evening, y/n," said the boy who now sat next to you.
It was inevitable when your eyes rolled just by smelling his cologne. There was no need for you even to turn to know who it was. Only one boy in the whole Hogwarts was confident enough to wear such cheap cologne as if it was holy water.
"Get the hell away, Weasley," you cried, wishing, profoundly, to have another butterbeer with you.
Madam Rosmerta noticed the new client sitting close to the counter, and she quickly came back to serve him.
"Fred Weasley," she greeted him with her playful smile. She knew the Hogwarts teenage boys only flirted with her in hopes of a discount, but she enjoyed it, considering it rather fun. "What can I get you?"
"My usual butterbeer, Ro," he said, charming her with his smirk. She chuckled, while he passed her a coin.
"If you're getting him one, you're getting me one too," you warned the barmaid, raising a brow. Your serious approach worked because, with a sigh, she walked back with two drinks.
You tossed her your coin.
"That is officially your last one, young lady, so you better enjoy it," she threatened before leaving and playing with her hair solemnly for Fred to see.
He was still smiling when you decided to look at him. He was a bastard, but, boy, was he handsome.
"You have five seconds to disappear from in front of me now that you have your drink," you warned. Even though Fred's eyes followed the back of Rosmerta, yours was still staring at him. Maybe the amount of disgust you felt for him could pass on with a look.
"Chill, would you?" Fred took a sip from his mug, supporting his arms on the counter, finally looking at you. "If you're so bothered, the dance floor awaits."
You chuckled, frowning right after. "Look, Weasley, don't you have any other girl to fuss around?"
He smirked, thinking you were falling for his game. "Do you have friends you'd like to suggest?" he played, raising his brows. "Is Jess still single?"
"I'd be dead if I let you stay even one meter close to my friends, do you hear me? I don't want them catching any diseases," you shivered just with the thought of how many girls (and STDs) this boy before you might have encountered.
"So they are here," his eyes narrowed as if he was scanning the dance floor, searching for your girls.
"Go away, Fred," you sighed, tired of that conversation. You took one sip of your mug, but the butterbeer was no longer enough to keep your mind away from Fred Weasley's affairs. "And stay away from Jess and Casey."
"Oh, y/n, just put a good word for me, please. I mean, it is your job," Fred leaned in, closer to you and his scent attacked your nostrils again, making you lean back.
"It's not my job to help you, Weasley."
"Well, as their duff, I think it is," he drank from his mug, ignoring your confused look.
"Duff?"
Asking him what the word meant called his attention back to you, but he seemed surprised you hadn't heard about it yet. "You know, designated ugly fat friend," he replied, making a peculiar gesture with his neck as he spoke the last term.
You couldn't possibly have heard him right. "Excuse me??"
"Look, I don't mean to offend," he shrugged his broad shoulders, a gift from all his years playing Quidditch.
He noticed how fast your expression was changing.
"It's not like you're an ogre or anything, but in comparison…" his eyes wandered back to the dance floor, this time yours followed, seeing Jess and Casey — your longest-time best friends — dancing with some other students. "Think about it. Why do they bring you here if you don't dance?"
"Shut it, Weasley. They bring me here because I'm their friend; stop with your nonsense," your mind was working incredibly hard to stop you from believing that you were the ugly friend. Because that could not be the truth. Especially if everyone already knew and the one to tell you about it had to be the most annoying Gryffindor.
Fred had the nerve to reach over and pat your knee, but you jerked away from him. "Look," he said, "you have hot friends… really hot friends."
All the butterbeer you had drunk was starting to make you sick. Perhaps Rosmerta had been right, but if you had to bet in a guilt part, you'd bet on the ginger.
"The point is, in a group of friends, there's always a weak link, a Duff. And girls respond well to guys who associate with their Duffs."
"Where are you getting this info? The Quibbler?" you never meant to offend the Lovegoods, but Fred Weasley was speaking rubbish at this point.
"Don't be bitter," Fred pressed his lips together, pausing. "What I'm saying is girls find it sexy when lads show some sensitivity and socialize with the Duff. So, please, help me here, and just pretend to enjoy our talk."
There it was, in front of you, the living, redheaded proof that stupidity is capable of making people persevere for years. You already knew that Fred was a womanizing asshole, but it was unexpected to find out how worthless as a human being he is, too. Pretty faces definitely aren't everything.
With one swift motion, you jumped to your feet and flung the contents of your mug in Fred's direction.
The remaining butterbeer flew all over him, splattering his striped polo collar shirt. The liquid got his ginger hair wet entirely, which surprised you because, usually, you wouldn't have such great aim.
His face burned with anger, and his chiselled mandible clenched angrily. "What was that for?" he snapped, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
"What do you think it was for?" you snapped.
"I have no possible idea."
Madam Rosmerta appeared again, giving Fred a white cloth to dry himself, but it wasn't enough. Part of you wanted to be mad at the waitress for helping Fred, but you knew she just didn't want him to ask her to take you out.
"If you think I'm letting one of my friends leave this place with you, Weasley, you're very, very wrong, " you spluttered, staring at him with fire in your eyes. "You're a shallow jackass, and I hope that we never cross paths again."
The stupid muggle music played so loud that no one but Rosmerta overheard you, and she probably found you awsome. She loved some teenage drama.
You grabbed your friends as quickly as you could. They were about protest all the way to the secret passageway back to Hogwarts, so you decided it was best to explain what was happening.
"What's wrong?" Casey asked. Her once perfect dark hair was now wet — part of you wondered if the sweat even belonged to her. For such a smart Ravenclaw, you expected more of her.
"Let's get back to school; I just can't stand to be in this hellhole for one more second, " you said, dragging their reluctant bodies along behind you.
"Why are we leaving so early? It's only, like, nine-fifteen," Jess asked, frowning a bit, looking at you with her sad big blue eyes. Her Hufflepuff charm was about to work on you when you remembered why you were living.
"I got into an argument with someone, " you said, and Jess puppy eyes quickly disappeared, opening the place for her angry face to emerge. "I threw my Coke on him, and I didn't want to stick around for his response."
"Who?" Casey asked. You'd been dreading that question because you knew the reaction you'd get.
"Fred Weasley." two girly sighs followed your answer. "The guy is a man-whore. I can't stand him. He sleeps with everything that moves, and his brain is located in his pants—which means it's microscopic."
"I doubt that, " Casey said with another sigh.
"He's a jerk," you said, hoping your voice sounded like it was final. The tunnel back to Hogwarts seemed endless.
"That's not true," Jessica inserted. "Katie Bell told me he talked to her when she was alone at the Yule Ball. She was with Angelina and Alicia, and she said he just came up and made conversation, really friendly."
That made sense. Katie was definitely the Duff if she was out with Angelina and Alicia. And you knew for a fact that Angelina left with Fred that night.
"He's charming, " Casey said. "Give him some credit." Her smile slowly faded when she remembered that you threw at him your beer. "But what the hell did he do to you tonight, huh?" Now she sounded concerned. Took her long enough.
You sighed, noticing that saying something would only make their worry and you really wanted to avoid their pity. "Nothing, " you lied, "Fred just pisses me off."
Duff. The word bounced around in your mind as you three reached Hogwarts. When you took a last look at your friends before each parted to your houses, Fred's statement that you were the unattractive, undesirable tagalong seemed to be confirmed.
Jessica's perfect hourglass body and big brown eyes. Casey's athlete's features and impeccable skin. You definitely weren't like them.
"Well, see you tomorrow for the feast?" Jess asked the two of you.
You and Casey shared tired smiles. Although Casey would've like to stay a little longer at the Three Broomsticks, she welcomed extra sleeping hours. Her Quidditch player schedule didn't leave her much time to rest.
"See you," you stated, walking away slowly, letting your feet lead the way to your dorm where you'd try extra hard to forget the whole Duff thing.
-
You picked your blanket up to your chin, not wanting to get out of bed so soon, even though you could very much get late for Snape's class.
Fred Weasley words were hunting you like a ghost. They shouldn't be, because you sure didn't care about his opinion. But the courage he had called you that disgusting abbreviation and how you seemed to find the one out from every single group of friends you walked past.
It had been a week and a half, so why did his words bother you? You were brilliant and a good witch, always there for your friends. Thus, who cared if you were the Duff?
If you were charming, you'd have to deal with lads like Weasley hitting on you. Ugh! That could be a Duff benefit, right? Being unattractive didn't have to suck.
Damn Fred Weasley! You couldn't believe he managed to pack your head with such superficial bullshit. Getting out of bed with a jump, you were committed.
You wouldn't think about Duffs ever again.
-
Thursdays were homework day, at least for you and your best friends.
When classes were over, the three of you would meet at the library for a long late afternoon, reading through books and doing assignments. And, of course, spilling some tea with whispers.
That afternoon was being way bored than you expected. It was like Jess and Casey interrupted your reading all the time to tell you something new, but that day they seemed to have nothing to say.
And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.
Suspicious.
You stared at them, who pretended they hadn't been facing you all along and turned back to their essays.
"Okay, what is it? You two are awfully quiet," you whispered, leaning closer to them, scared the librarian could hear you.
They exchanged looks before, sighing, Jess gave up on her silent treatment.
"Remember when we planned on going to Three Broomsticks tomorrow?" she pouted, trying to work her big eyes on you.
"You two planned, you mean. I never agreed on it."
"We kinda find dates to go with us," said Casey, ignoring your comment on the matter.
You stared at your two best friends, holding yourself to not laugh.
"Thankfully. I never said I wanted to go," you pointed out with a smile, turning back to your book.
Jessica didn't seem satisfied with you looking away just yet.
"We can find you a date," Jess suggested.
You chuckled. "Alright," you spat — the possibility sounded ridiculous; principally when Fred's words still echoed in the corner of your mind.
"y/n, you have to come," Casey's tone was more serious. "You never go out unless we force you. So, if you don't want a date for yourself, you are thrid-wheeling."
"Not in Askaban, I am not!" you protested, raising your voice way too much but thankfully nobody was around.
Jess tried to work her puppy eyes again. "Please," she sobbed. "If you don't come, I'll feel guilty. Do you want me to ditch Cormac?"
"You are going with Cormac??" you asked, genuinely concerned because he was younger than you, but then you recalled he wasn't younger than her.
"Just show up," said Casey, not really allowing you to object. "I'll pay you a butterbeer."
Her offer was very, very tempting. You had no idea if one could become addicted to butterbeer since yours never had alcohol, but you're getting closer to that.
"But I'll only stay 'till nine," you informed.
The two girls smiled, and Jess had to hold herself from clapping in excitement.
"That'll be enough," said Casey.
-
"Is your father okay?" Casey asked you as soon as Jess left, and she had the open opportunity to corner you.
She was the only one in the school that you were brave enough to confess what was happening to your father. He had been recently attacked by some Death Eaters, and the Cruciatus curse left him with severe brain damaged.
It happened during the summer, before the start of your seventh year, so you had a couple of weeks to recover from that news before going back to school.
But when your mom's first letter arrived, saying your father was getting more insane with time, no amount of preparation was enough to hold back your tears as you ran out of the Great Hall.
You were able to lie to Jess, but with Casey, you weren't so lucky. Besides, her mom worked at St. Mungo's, so she already knew about your dad way before you told her.
It had been two months since you've been ignoring your mom's letters, all of them. You are too scared to read what they've got to say, and she doesn't let you go back home anyways.
You wanted to be with him, your father, hold his hand, make him better. But your mom was firm on her decision about you graduating Hogwarts.
So, when you stared at Casey's beautiful face, you had no idea what to answer.
"He can't get better," you said, in tone way harsher than you were planning. Who knew that not speaking about a matter would make you feel more painful towards it?
Casey gulped — she was always like that: she would touch the wound, but she had no idea what to do about it later.
"Do you want me to write to my m..."
"No," you quickly answered, not even letting her finish. "I just need to graduate — then I'll deal with my dad."
"It will take longer while 'till graduation, y/n," Casey pointed out. She knew you were convincing yourself it was just a couple more months, but that was a terrible lie you no longer could satisfy yourself with.
Casey wanted to do something, but taking you out was all you allowed the girls to do to you. You hated the new club atmosphere of Three Broomsticks, but you had to admit, it was pretty distracting.
"Promise I'll see you tomorrow night?"
"Promise," you said, before leaving your best friend alone in the hallway.
-
Snape's latest assignment stood before you, with a lot of notes from the Professor, pointing out all of your mistakes.
And there were a lot of them.
When class ended, you walked up to the Professor, gulping and shaking. You knew he didn't dislike you, but you were never too careful with Severus Snape.
"Professor, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Yes?" he turned to face you; his black robe swirled with his movement.
"I just want to know if this essay was, hm, a big part of this year's grade?" you asked, avoiding looking in his dark eyes. "If so, can I do something else to improve my grade?"
He swallowed before answering, his serious tone implicating he didn't want to be having this conversation.
"You used to be my best student, Miss y/l/n, but this year you turned into the worse," he said, pausing in that terrible way only he knew. If your last year's grade hadn't been an Outstanding, I would have written you off my class by now."
You stared at Snape, unsure of what to do next and terrified of the man before you. He never treated you that way.
"Sorry to bother, Professor," you said, leaving right away, knowing very well that he had just ruined your rest of the day, including the night with your girls.
But what would you tell them? They would say that Snape was always like that. And even Casey, who was bloody smart, didn't have classes with Snape anymore. She would say for you to drop it too.
Your mind led your feet to the Moaning Myrtle's abandoned bathroom. There, your cry could be confused with hers by those who passed by. Thus, no one would disturb you.
The ghost wasn't even startled when she heard you come in, crying, and throw yourself on the floor near the sinks. Myrtle has seen you there since the school year started when you read your mother's first letter.
You usually went there at night, when you were sure you wouldn't see anyone. But after years of trusting Professor Snape — and believing that he would never mistreat you — what you heard today was the culmination.
When you decided you had cried enough, you headed out of the bathroom, holding your Potions (terrible) essay closer to your chest. You walked around the castle, but, perhaps, your eyes lost contact with your brain — the next thing you knew, you ran smack into Fred Weasley.
As if I needed more reasons for wanting to die.
You stumbled backwards, and your essay slipped from your arms, heading straight to the floor.
The ginger boy grasped you by both shoulders, his big hands catching you before you had the chance to slip over your own feet.
"Watch it," he said, steadying you.
You two were standing way too close to each other, and once again, you could smell his cheap cologne, this time it seemed to spread all over your body. Bloody hell, am I gonna smell like Weasley now? You shivered with disgust, but he misread it.
"Trouble standing up?" he joked, looking down at you with a cocky smirk.
He was really tall — you'd forgotten that, sitting next to him at the Three Broomsticks that night.
"Do I make you weak in the knees?"
Ignoring his stupid question, you knelt down to get the essay, and he did the same, grabbing it first. You forgot how to breathe for a second, hoping he wouldn't try to read it — and notice all the corrections Snape had made with permanent ink.
However, as soon as he grabbed it, he was handing it over to you.
You took it and brought it back closer to your chest, stepping away from him and his stupid perfume and stupid touch that sent weird and uncomfortable chills through your spine.
You were starting to walk away, leaving him behind when you heard:
"Thank you, Weasley," he attempted to copy your accent. "See you around, Weasley."
But you rolled your eyes and didn't even venture to look at him again.
-
How you managed to get out of your dorm and show up was all Jess and Casey's fault. If they hadn't been talking about you going out all week, and then Jess almost crying for you to appear, you would've rather very much stayed in bed.
You drummed your fingers on the wooden surface of the bar, your mind far away from the muggle music and your very dance-pants friends.
Your mind was tricking you in remembering about your father, something you were really trying to push away. Why hadn't you insisted on staying with Dad? Why hadn't you read mom's letters?
You kept imagining your dad, wallowing in his misery… alone. You wondered if at least your mom would visit him at St. Mungos. They were never the clingy type of couple, but maybe now she could be more sentimental.
But neither you were sentimental. So why now? Why care so much for your dad when he was never that much of an extraordinary parent?
"Evenin', Duffy."
Why did that nitwit have to sit next to you?
"Go away, Fred," you scolded, looking down at your fingers, playing with your empty mug.
"I can't, " he said. "First of all, the only reason you're here's that I taught you and your friends how to scape Hogwarts," you rolled your eyes while he continued, "besides, I'm not one to give up easily. I am set to snog one of your friends," he shrugged as if he was the biggest gentleman on Earth.
"Then go talk to the one," you suggested, not even turning to see his face.
"I would, but Fred Weasley doesn't chase girls. They chase him."
His sentence stayed in the air around as for a second before you burst in laughter. He couldn't be sober to say something like that. You faced him, finally, and confirmed — he very much had just arrived, so he wasn't drunk. He was just stupid.
Handsome, but stupid.
"Til they come to me, you get the honour of my company," he said, and then he took your mug away from your restless fingers. "Lucky for me, it doesn't look like you're armed with a beverage tonight."
You awaited for his laugh, but it never came.
"What is it with you today?"
"Already told you I'm not in the mood, Weasley," you reminded him.
"What's wrong?"
"Go...away," you warned, slowly.
You no longer good handle the tension burning inside you, it had to be released in some way, and it needed to be right then. But you didn't want to cry, not in front of a bunch of students partying, and there was no way you were going to vent with the dimwitted next to you, and punching someone would just get Rosmerta disappointed.
"Are you okay, y/n?" Fred asked, touching your shoulders carefully. He was forcing you to face him, even though he was being too gentle for his usual. "y/n?"
Then it was like your systems had stopped working — like a magic spell went wrong. Your only excuse is that you were under an unbelievable amount of stress, and you detected an exit.
You needed a distraction, and your chance was staring at you with sparkly eyes. Regret was the last thing you were thinking about.
An opportunity sat on the barstool beside you, and you lunged at it, literally.
You kissed Fred Weasley.
You grabbed him by polo neck of his red t-shirt, pulling him closer and locking your lips on his. He froze at first, but it didn't take him more than three seconds to understand what was happening, and the hand once on your shoulder was now on you cheeks.
Fred returned your urge, biting your lower lip, making his way inside your mouth with his tongue. Your hands left his neck and went to his hair, surprised to find soft hair.
His hands flew to your sides and pulled you toward him as if his hair was the secret to his horniness. As you wrapped your fingers in the strands of red hair, his fingertips dug into your waist.
It worked better than punching someone would have. Not only did it help you release the tension, but it distracted you. It's hard to think about your dad when you're making out with somebody.
He leaned into me, and I hauled at him so hard that Fred nearly fell off his bar stool. At that moment, both just couldn't get close enough to each other. Your separate seats seemed like they were miles apart.
Nothing existed, but the physical connection — there were no emotions in the way. It was amazing not to think. Nothing! Nothing… until he screwed it up.
His hand slid up from your waist, lingering along your back, and came to a stop around your boobs. Everything flooded back, and you suddenly remembered who had his lips on yours.
As fast as you jumped on him, you leaned away, taking your hands from his hair and shoving him away.
His hands dropped, one landing on your knee, as he pulled away. He looked astonished but weirdly pleased.
"Wow, Duff, that was—", but he never finished. You were already gone, running out of the bar and rushing to get to the secret passageway.
You didn't look back. If Fred followed, once you got to Hogwarts, he turned around.
When you reached your dorm and jumped on the bed, your heartbeat was impossible to keep track. You told yourself it was because of the run back to the school, but your mind was still playing flashes of the snogging session that had just happened.
It wasn't fair to remember his touch and how out of limits he was —good kisser, but still a jerk.
You didn't want to admit it, but you were madder at yourself than at him.
-
Two days.
That was the amount of time you managed to stay away from Fred Weasley since the little "incident".
One thing was for sure: it had numbed completely any stress your father situation was afflicting him. It had even made you forget about your recent bad grades.
Now, every time you got distracted, the only thought that filled your mind was a non-stop replay of the kiss you and Fred shared. It made you feel weirdly sick in the stomach, and you swore you could feel his disgusting touch as if it dirtied your body forever.
Jess and Casey didn't even bother arguing with you about leaving early that night — they felt guilty because they left you alone at the counter. Of course, you didn't tell them about the whole Weasley situation, but, even though Jess seemed clueless, Casey noticed your change in action.
How defensive you were towards their questions, more than usual. How you avoided spending too much time at the Great Hall.
So, when she purposely asked you to watch her Quidditch practice, you knew she was testing you. Perhaps Casey thought something worse was happening to your dad and if that was her bet, you wouldn't be the one to make her see the other side of the coin.
"Came to watch me play?" an annoying voice asked, calling your attention to your left where Fred Weasley stood flying up in his broom. His torso was tilted towards you, who was sitting in the stands.
One look was all you took for your mind to fill with disgusting memories, and your stomach was killing you once again. You faced back the field, where Casey was supposed to be practising, but, apparently, the thing was over because she and her teammates were nowhere to be found.
That explains the Gryffindor in his robes, you thought, sighing and gathering your things before getting up.
Fred was still staring at you, analyzing, expecting.
"I'm not here for you, Weasley," you spat.
Your temper surprised him, but he managed to recover before you could notice.
"What a pity," he sighed, letting the corner of his lips turn up. "I thought you wanted a second dose of fun."
You stared at him, with your angry issues burning up. If before kissing him he already had his ways of pissing you off, now it was like he was power was ten times stronger.
Your first thought was to hex him right there and then, but he wasn't worth that much worry.
"That wasn't fun, Weasley," you decided to state the obvious; something Fred seemed to have been having trouble understanding.
"You seemed very entertained twirling your fingers in my hair," he smirked, holding a chuckle while your eyes widened and you closed your fists.
"That was a mistake; I wasn't in my right mind," you said, clenching your teeth in rage. That boy was driving you crazy.
From behind him, you recognized Casey, walking on the field, already out of her Quidditch robes and holding her broom with just one hand. You knew that was your way out.
"Fine, blame it on the butterbeer," he sighed, "if it's what makes you sleep at night."
"What makes you think, Weasley," you paused, stepping closer to the end of the stands and closer to the ginger, "that I think about you at night?" you raised your tone involuntarily, letting your emotions get the best of you.
"Your body language, for one, Duff," Fred smirked again, feeling his win just because you were getting out of control.
Last time you were raged like that you had kissed him, so perhaps it could happen again.
But the nickname set you back. You were still bitter, but now you remembered why — it was because of that shallow nickname and that stupid boy.
You turned around and stepped away, to the end of the stands. You needed to get out of there as fast as you could.
"See you around too, Duff," you heard Fred shouted, but you didn't dare look back.
Casey met you at the end of the stairs, where a bunch of Gryffindors were crossing paths with the Ravenclaws leaving.
"Was that Fred Weasley? Talking to you?" was the first thing Casey asked when you were close to her enough to hear.
"Yep," you sighed, still tense because of your conversation.
"Godric! Is he hot in his Quidditch uniform!" she gasped, but different from you, she had that romantic, girly look on her face again. It made you wanna vomit.
"Please, Cass, you can find someone hotter than him," you protested, frowning.
"Someone hotter doesn't take Fred's hotness away," she argued, raising a brow towards you. She was messing with you, of course, but knowing it didn't make it easier. She didn't know about the kiss, so for all purposes' sake, she still thought you would never even touch him.
"Can't you just pine over — hmm, I don't — George Weasley, his twin?" you said, sarcastically. "If you think Fred's hot, George is too, and I'm pretty sure he's a better person."
"Too vanilla," she replied as if it proved her point.
"How would you know?" you asked, but couldn't help but burst in laughter with her, both very sure this conversation wasn't going anywhere.
Casey was right again. Not about George being vanilla — that you couldn't be sure, being that you had never talked to the chap. You couldn't manage to say more than three words to George, his presence always made you kinda weak in the knees.
But George didn't know about it, and neither did your best friends, and you intend in leaving thing at that. George was kind of your platonic crush, it was healthy to have one (probably), and he was never cross that line.
Funny, huh, how George made you feel starstruck, and Fred made you wanna kill yourself.
The thing Casey was right was about Fred being hot and charming. He was appearing more times than often in your mind, and for the rest of the week, he no longer popped as a replay of a kiss. Fred was appearing in your mind as new sexy scenarios, things a deep part of you wanted to experiment. And apparently, with him. Yikes.
You tried to convince yourself that those scenarios were with George (had happened before) but, at this point, you knew how to differentiate the two very well. And, deep down, you knew who was the ginger biting your neck and intertwining his legs in yours.
And that infuriated your guts.
-
"You did that for what?"
Your question echoed to the Great Hall, with a dozen of heads turning to what the little show you were putting on.
It was not your intention to make a scene, but, at that moment, you were more enraged than you'd ever been your whole life. Casey was your best friend, and you knew sometimes she was bold for the greater good, but you doubted that doing what she did was for the greater good.
Because you were feeling like shit.
She had intercepted your owl with your mom's letter about your father's condition. Casey had observed that you were ignoring your mom's messages — last night she went to your dorm room with Jess for a girls night, and ended up finding accidentally a box packed with the parchments unopen.
So she planned on getting your owl before it dropped its letter over you and she managed to sit next to you and starting reading it aloud, without telling you what she was reading.
It was only when she got to the second line of the thing — "they say they are doing everything they can and they don't want to raise our hopes, because his chance of recovery is almost none"— that you realized that it was your mom's words.
You got so angry as never before, shouting at Casey to shut up, and without overthinking, you cast a fire spell on the thing. Thankfully she dropped the parchment before it burned her hands, but that doesn't mean that she didn't get angry at you too.
Jess watched and came closer, trying to find words to say, but she didn't know what was happening and she didn't want to side with anyone.
You felt the urge to cry, but, not in hell, you were doing it in front of the whole school. You gathered your bag and ran out of that place, not looking back — even though Casey was screaming "I'm sorry", and Jessica was asking you to wait.
"Hey, wait up," a voice called, this time it didn't belong to a girl.
You froze at your spot, your feet slowly turning to face the boy following you in the empty hallway. Traitors, you wanted to say to your feet.
"Not now, Weasley," you said, trying hard to look away, but once his dark eyes met yours, you just couldn't bring yourself to walk away.
"Then, when? You need to talk," he pointed out, taking his hands out of his pockets, not yet breaking the eye contact. It was like he knew that he looking at you was the only thing keeping you there.
"You heard the show, huh."
"Just saw you, angrily walking away," he said while you nervously grabbed your bag's handle. "Thankfully, there was no butterbeer in your hands."
His attempt to joke went not as smoothly as he expected. You faced your shoes, biting your lip with the stupid idea that popped in your mind. You knew what you planned wasn't right.
But when he stepped towards you, it felt natural.
"Just shut up, Weasley," you said, before getting on your tiptoes and leaning in to kiss him.
He was surprised, again, but this time he was quick to respond and somehow smarter — he grabbed your waist and guided you to a door that only he knew existed in that hallway.
It was a broom closet, probably the brooms first-years use to train flying.
This time there was no inhibition. Fred's mouth in yours was not going to be enough to forget you fighting with Casey and your mom's words about your dad. You needed more. Thankfully, Fred Weasley was more than pleased to serve, fastly taking your white shirt off while you unbuttoned his pants.
"Are you sure of this, Duff?" he asked before pulling your black skirt up.
"I said shut up, Weasley," you reminded him, in a bossy tone. And in case he tried to open his mouth again, you locked it with yours.
-
Things were worse than ever before.
After Casey's episode, you hadn't talked to her ever since. She tried, the first few days, but she saw you were ignoring her and with time, she gave up. Jess attempted to convince you to talk to Casey, and for that, you started ignoring Jess too.
Your grades weren't getting better any time soon — Professor Snape was now no longer the only one complaining to you about it. Thankfully, the other Professors were more understanding about it than Severus — the school knew about your father situation.
Oh, yeah. About your parents: since Casey attempt to read you a letter, you haven't touched one yet. And you weren't going to do it anytime soon.
The only person you were hanging out with — by Merlin, you never thought that would happen — was Fred Weasley.
It was easygoing with him because there wasn't much talking to do. He knew better than to ask you anything related to your personal life — even though he tried, a lot.
You two would meet primarily at the Room of Requirement — it usually provided a bed for you, so that was more comfortable than any broom closet. If he ever attempted to make conversation, you'd shut him up with your lips and locking your fingers in his hair — that was his soft spot for sure.
You noticed he was trying to be your friend, more than just a hookup because he was lately scheduling your meetings in places where more people were around — therefore you couldn't just kiss him.
Today, you two were meeting after his Quidditch practice. In his defence, you had indeed mentioned how hot after-trainings sex could be, and that was, probably, where he got the idea.
You were waiting for him in the ground leaned in the entrance to the stairs to the stands, laughing with yourself, because, not long ago, when he mentioned you waiting for him at the Quidditch field, you thought the idea was absurd.
"There he is," you said, placing your hands in the back pockets of your jeans, walking side by side with a just showered Fred Weasley.
"You came."
"You said for me to come," you replied, tilting your head towards him and chuckling. It wasn't like you and any other places to be, but he didn't need to know.
"Hey, Fred, what are we..." started George, rushing to Fred's side and gasping at the notice of you. "Oh, hey, y/n."
So nice to have a Weasley calling you by your name instead of the stupid "duff" thing Fred seemed to love.
But that was George — the George Weasley — and all you managed to do was blush and nervously say hello back.
"Well, brother, got do something with y/n first, but, later, we can..."
"— don't bother with me! I'm sure we can hang out the three of us," you interrupted Fred, glad this time you didn't stutter.
Fred practically spat out a laugh, looking at you like you were crazy. "We? With my own twin?"
You pushed Fred by the shoulder, disgusted by the bullshit he had suggested.
"We can change our plans," you elaborated. "That's what I meant, Fred."
George's eyes went from you to Fred, not sure of what to say next. He didn't know what was going on between the two of you — you'd threatened Fred that you'd kill the whole Weasley family if he decided to say something.
"Are you sure? Fred and I can do the prank later."
"It's a prank? Then count me in!" you smiled, pushing Fred's shoulder again. "Why didn't you tell me?"
There was one exact reason why Fred didn't tell you — it's because you weren't interested, especially in personal stuff and principally in pranks.
"Wow, y/n, I reckon I've never seen you so excited," George commented, smiling.
The three of you started walking away from the Quidditch field while Fred mumbled something about him being the reason for your excitement — for that you replied with pinching his left arm.
-
You had never laughed so hard in your life. Fred, George and you were sitting on the floor of the empty library, leaning your backs against a dusty shelf in the dark corner of the room.
"Did you see his face?" George giggled, placing a hand over his chest where his heart was beating extra fast.
All of the hearts there were beating fast.
It was almost midnight, and by the school rules, you three should be in bed, but the amount of enthusiasm you were feeling was convincing you being a reckless student wasn't so bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the twins, your hands tossed on the floor — the left one just a couple of centimetres away from Fred's. He was watching you, paying very close attention at how the red slowly painted your face back, since it had been white because of all the running from Filch to not get caught.
"Thanks for tagging me along," you said, with a small smile, looking at George.
"Anytime," George said, thinking it was the right thing to do. "You're fun to be around. I see why you wanted to hang out with her, Freddie."
You would've teased Fred about the silly nickname if it wasn't gonna ruin the beautiful moment you and George were having.
Fred watched his twin and you, giggling with each other, talking about random funny stuff related to Argo Filch, but he couldn't hear the conversation quite well. He could only focus on how you were leaning towards George, and how, involuntarily, your hand ran away from his.
"Well, chaps, I've gotta keep going," George announced, getting up and shaking the dust out of his clothes. You pouted, saddened by the departure of your favourite twin.
Fred didn't even breathe, scared that would make his brother want to stay. It wasn't like he was addicted to you — Godric, no! — but he was really looking forward to spending some time with you. Just with you.
"So soon?" you replied, noticing that one prank and you now could speak perfectly well with George. You had no idea why it became uncomplicated, but spending time with him only made you notice what you already knew — he's very different from Fred. "See you later, then."
"See ya," George then turned around and walked out of the library, making sure he wasn't being heard.
As soon as George was away, Fred turned to you, using his hand to bring you face towards him. You allowed it, not really having much choice when he touched you like that.
"Why did want to prank with us?" he asked, looking straight into your eyes.
You shrugged, saying nothing. But something in your expression — maybe the quick thought of George — gave you away.
"George," Fred sighed, surprisingly angry, but not enough for you to notice. His hand fell from your face to his side. "You like him."
"Puff! What? No. What?"
Yeah, your reaction wasn't the best. But Fred shrugged, letting his jealous side hide and acting like a jerk because it was so much easier than caring.
"Are you only with me because I look like him?" he asked, making sure his tone sounded like he was playing with you instead of really curious.
"No!" you replied, faster than you expected. "First of all, I'm not with you. Secondly, no, Freddie," — you used the nickname to mess with him — "I didn't pick you because of George. I picked you because you were there."
Fred stayed in silence, absorbing your answer.
You were suddenly lost in your thoughts, remembering that first kiss not so long ago. And then you remembered all of those lonely nights at the Three Broomsticks, where your only companies were Rosmerta and... Fred.
"You are always there."
"Yeah," Fred sighed, not sure of what you meant with that. However, he was still in jerk mode, and for that, his hand flew back to touch you, this time choosing more sensitive regions, like your belly, particularly, above the waistband of your jeans, a place that Fred had already learned to be one of your weak spots. "So, is now when you're doing what we had scheduled to do?"
You turned to face him, making it easier for him to reach your abdomen.
"Do you only think about that?"
He pretended to be thoughtful.
"Yes."
-
It came as a hell of a surprise when you were called to the Headmaster's office. You had been doing nothing — aside from escapades with Fred, and trying to get back to your studies, you haven't been doing much — so you didn't stall to see why they needed you.
You were even more surprised when the person awaiting fro you in the office was your mom.
"Hi, sweetie," she tried to smile but failed.
You didn't move since you opened the door and saw her, because her visit probably meant something you didn't want to be true.
"Is he dead?"
"What, sweetie? What did you say?" she asked.
"Dad. Is he...?" you whispered again, not brave enough to say it too loud.
"Oh, Merlin, no! That's why I'm here, actually. He called for you yesterday," she explained, stepping closer to you since you haven't been moving. "I sent you a letter, but you didn't reply, and I was so anxious..."
"Father called me? He said my name?" you were shocked because last time you saw him, he had no idea who you were.
"Yes, sweetie. I guess he remembers you," she smiled. "And me," she added.
"Can I see him?" you were fighting tears at this point.
"Of course, sweetie! That's why I'm here," she smiled, and opened her arms, knowing very well that all you wanted to do was bury your face on her chest, just like when you were little and scared. But this time, all you felt was happiness.
-
Returning to Hogwarts was hard. Not because you were sad — Merlin, that had been your best weekend ever! You father was almost completely recovered, although now and then he was saying some gibberish.
It was hard to come back because you wished you'd stayed longer with your dad, but your mom knew you needed to finish your school year before anything else.
A conversation that you had with your father kept replaying in your mind since you walked in the school. It was before you left when he encouraged you to enjoy your life because he wished he had enjoyed his more — especially when he thought he was dying, having Death Eaters play with his mind.
So when you saw George in the hallway, you knew you had to do something about your whole starstruck situation.
"Hey!" you called him.
"Hi, y/n," he faced you, a smile appearing in his lips. "Haven't seen you all weekend."
"I had to be away. Dad's stuff," you really didn't want to tell him about it right there. "Anyway... I don't know how to say this, but I've been feeling incredibly confident lately, so here it goes... Would you like to go on a date with me?"
You had no idea how you manage to say it. Perhaps pranking someone together does change a person, but while you waited for his reply, George didn't seem so hard to talk to.
"You want to go out... with me?" he played with his hair while saying it.
"Yep," you gulped, suddenly regretting you recently discovered confidence.
"Okay," he frowned for a second before smiling lightly. "Three Broomsticks, Wednesday?"
"Perfect. See you there?"
He shook his head in response, then turned and walked away. You stayed there, expecting a wave of happiness to come, but it never did. That's odd, you thought, before heading to your dorm, which, weirdly enough, you had missed.
When you pushed the door open, you saw the two figures sitting on your bed, as if they had been waiting for you for a long time. Jess and Casey looked at you as you walked n, with sympathetic smiles on their faces.
"What are you two doing here?" you asked, but you weren't mad. Just curious.
You had missed them too.
"I'm here to apologize. Should've done it sooner, but you didn't allow me," said Casey, getting up and stepping closer to you. "I now know your father is better, but you were right, that letter could have something horrible written on it and had no right reading it."
You stared at her, unconsciously reaching for her hand, anxious to meet her hot touch again. You were still happy, of course, but that talk made you bit sentimental.
"I'm sorry, y/n," she said, allowing you to hug her and hugging you back in the way only she knew how. Jess jumped out of bed and embraced the two of you; although you couldn't see her face, you'd bet she was smiling and crying at the same time.
The three of you stayed like that for a while.
"But, thank Merlin, he's okay now," Casey continued, slowly pulling away from the group hug.
"How do you..."
"Fred told us," said Jess, sitting back on your bed and suggesting you two did the same.
"Fred? Fred Weasley? How did he know?" you were completely startled.
"He asked about you. The three of us were confused because, well, he was right, nobody had seen you," Jess explained. "Long story short, McGonagall told him about your dad, and he told us."
You gulped, taking in that new information. Fred worried about you, that was new. Well, you did leave with no warning, but for a not-a-friend with benefits, you never consider he would care if you disappeared.
"Did he say anything else?" you rounded, suddenly worried he could have told them about your little escapades.
"Should him? Your father is okay, right?" Casey entered a worried-mom mood, and Jess seemed to be concerned too.
"My father is getting better, yes," you replied, but now it was too late. They were curious, you sighed, knowing very well that, as your best friends, they had all the right to know what was going on. "I may — or may not — have started a no-strings-attached relationship with Fred Weasley."
"You did what??" Casey widened her eyes towards you.
You spend half an hour explaining to the girls what was going on in your sex life, and they were good listeners, never interrupting unless you paused. You missed those girly talks so much that you wondered how you managed to spend weeks not talking to them.
"Wait. But your date for Wednesday is George?" asked Jess, clearly confused with the end of your story.
"I never had the guts before," you said, remembering how only the idea of asking George out would've made you weak in the knees a year ago.
"But you like Fred," she stated, convinced she was correct.
"What? No. Why did you...? Merlin, no," you rambled. You thought you had made it clear that being around Fred longer than necessary made your stomach sick and everything.
Jess and Casey exchanged looks as if they knew something you didn't.
"Fred's repugnant. He still calls me Duff, can you believe it? I mean, 'hello, honey, if I'm such the disgusting, ugly friend, why do you sleep with me?' " you said, laughing with yourself, imagining you facing Fred and telling him that. But the girls kept with their suspicious stares. "I did explain what is Duff, right?"
"You did," said Casey.
"Still not convinced you don't like Fred, though," added Jess, raising a brow towards you.
"I don't! Besides, now, I don't need him. I'm going on a date with his brother, and my father is fine. I have no worries," you reminded them, getting up from your bed. "Well, maybe one problem. I still need better grades."
"That I can help," said Casey, allowing her nerdy Ravenclaw shine.
-
You tried to corner Fred the whole Tuesday, but he seemed to be nowhere to be found, until after dinner, when you approached him when he was leaving. Thankfully, he was alone.
"So you are back," he said, looking you up and down in that way that only he knew. You looked around the hallway, scared that students leaving the Great Hall could hear you two talking, so you gesticulated for him to follow you to the broom closet — coincidently, where it all started was going to be its end too.
"Fred, we need to talk," you said, closing the door behind you and trying to find the light switch.
"You finally realized?" he sounded hopeful, with a playful smile on his lips.
"Realized what?"
He was set back with your response. Fred was thinking of something else when he asked you that, but he wasn't going to let you win. Although you really didn't have any idea what he was talking about.
"Realized you can't live without me."
"HA! Very funny, Weasley," you said, rolling your eyes.
He stepped closer to you, expecting you to do what you generally did in that closet, and, even though, his perfume made you lose your senses for a second (that didn't use to happen before, did it?).
"Well, I brought you here because... You see, we aren't doing this anymore," you swallowed after saying it — it was as if a knife was held in your neck.
He leaned in, looking down at you. His playful smile was long gone.
"You want to do it the right way. I get it," he said, pressing his lips together for a pause. "We could just jump to the fun part."
"Fun part? There isn't a...", but you weren't able to finish. His lips met yours mid-phrase, and as usual, you couldn't care about anything else but his lips.
What was the thing I need to tell him? Never mind now.
Your hands were playing with his hair, but something was different this time. There was still an urge — one that shouldn't be there, giving that you had no problems to forget right now — but you two were acting slowly, appreciating every touch.
When with Fred, you never felt ashamed of your body, but somehow this time you were very self-conscious, afraid that he wouldn't like you. Which was stupid — he had been... with you for too long to now started caring about your form.
What you didn't know what was that, if anything, he was finding you even more beautiful tonight, with the weak light of the closet highlighting every gorgeous curve of your body.
While you two undressed (with his lips away from yours), you were able to remember you shouldn't be there, snogging him and well, about to do other things with him. You had gone there to end this thing.
You sighed, too perplexed at the view of the ginger boy's body. The light was also highlighting his best spots.
A good-bye, you concluded with yourself. You were allowing yourself one last night, before staying away from Fred.
And if it was going to be a good-bye, you were sure you wanted to make it the best yet.
-
When you asked George out, he had been puzzled, and really scared of what to do next.
You had never jumbled him with Fred before — and after spending so much time with his twin doing Merlin knows what he expected you to never do it.
He thought it was rather cute that you took the first step and asked Fred out. Well, you did confuse the twin, but George assumed you probably were too nervous with your own feelings.
So using his best "hey, brother, this is gonna sound funny" voice, he went to find Fred to tell him that he had a date with the girl he had pining over for the last month.
George had never seen Fred say no to other girls, neither had George seen Fred stay in the castle for a Friday night, then a skip a Hogsmeade trip. You had changed Fred, even though George was sure Fred had not noticed it yet.
"What is it, George?" Fred asked, anxious to leave and meet you, no matter where you could be. He had heard that you had just got back in the castle and he just... he wanted to make sure you were alright.
"y/n, she... well," George nervously giggled. "She mixed us. She thought I was you."
"Really?" Fred was not expecting at this stage for you to mix him with his brother.
"Yeah, and hm, this is funny," George gulped before continuing. "I think she asked you out. On a date."
"She what??"
"Yeah, I guess she was on a rush, because of her father, and she said something about feeling confident," George went on. "Anyway, I said yes because I knew you'd have said yes. It's Wednesday. At the Three Broomsticks."
Fred stared at his brother as if he had solved all the problems in the world.
"She really did that?"
George shook his head yes and pointed out: "Don't mention she mixed us. It will probably make her feel worse."
"Are you sure she thought you were me?" Fred asked, overthinking it.
"Well, of course. Why else would y/n ask me out?"
-
You had to borrow a foundation from Jess (your skin tones were not so similar, but it was enough) because on the last night, Fred had exaggerated a little.
He never left a mark on his body, but yesterday he had overcome himself. As the brush rubbed the foundation on your neck, you remembered the night before.
"You are mine, Duff," he said, between one hickey and another. "Just mine."
Unintentionally, you lost yourself in thought, your mind continuing its replay from the night before, as you brushed your sensitive skin.
"Only I can make you feel this way; only my touch makes you shiver," whispered Fred, and incredibly, it was true. But he was Fred, and it couldn't go on.
So when it was over, and you both were too tired, you got dressed and stared at him, knowing what was coming next.
"Thank you, Fred, seriously. For everything," he watched you as you gulped nervously. "But this really can't go on. I have a date tomorrow."
"I know."
You were about to leave, but you immediately turned, facing him with wide eyes.
"You asked George out. I know," he seemed sad. And you have never seen Fred sad before. You wanted to do something, but what could you do really?
"Fred, I..."
"Look, you had your good-bye, y/n. You can get out now," Fred said. "Go hide. It's what you do, right?"
"Hey, don't turn this on me!"
"Somehow, this is my fault?" Fred asked while putting on his pants. Although angry, he didn't seem scary. "What you want me to do, y/n? I'm the jackass womanizer, aren't I? Go get the better twin."
"Fred Weasley!" you shouted his name, trying to shut him up. "We were never a couple; don't act as if you care now! Don't act like you're jealous!"
"Why? Because I can't be jealous of you? I can't care about you?" he shouted back.
"Care about me? You call me Duff, Weasley. All the damn time! How am I supposed to know you care about me if you keep reminding me how ugly, fat and disgusting I am?"
Silence fell upon the two of you.
That was the knife in your neck all along. The stupid nickname, it all came back to it. Fred had no idea how much power that nickname had over you.
"I never meant it that way, y/n," he said, gulping slowly.
"No?" you asked sarcastically. "Really? I remember you telling me I have hotter friends."
"But that was before!" he protested.
"Before what?" you asked, but his reply never came. The words he couldn't say died in his chest — buried forever. "See you around, Weasley, " you said, before opening the door and leaving, without looking back.
You shook your head, slowly coming back to reality. The hickeys were enough hidden. It didn't look perfect, but the Three Broomsticks had terrible lighting, so it would be okay.
You wanted to stay in, curled up in bed, playing in repeat your good-bye, and blame yourself for that sadness in your chest, but you were too embarrassed to dump George.
The place was crowded — Hogwarts older students were practically all there, having the time of their lives on the dance floor. You wished George could never find you, so you went to the counter to hide behind a mug of butterbeer.
"Hey there, pretty," said Madam Rosmerta, who have missed you all those nights without you. "Butterbeer?"
"You know it," you said, about to throw her a coin when someone pressed a hand on your shoulder.
"Make it two," he said, and he didn't even need to speak to you know who it was. That cheap perfume was going to be the death of you. "It's on me," he told you, tossing his own coin to Rosmerta who disappeared to get the mugs.
"He's not coming," he added a second later, hating the silence around you two.
"I figured it. When I saw you," you explained, gulping.
Rosmerta brought two mugs back, and both of you took a sip from it, unsure of what to say next.
It wasn't like you two fought last night because you hated each other. In fact, it was probably the complete opposite, but both looked like stupid cowards, afraid of your own feelings.
"Look, I..." he started, but you interrupted him, placing your hand on his arm over the counter.
"Let me say this first," you said, locking your eyes on his. "I shouldn't have asked your twin out. Even if we were just friends; what I did was a jerk move."
"You liked him first," Fred pointed out, trying to defend you from yourself.
You chuckled. "Oh, Merlin, no. I thought he had a pretty face," you explained, tilting your head towards him, and he understood your joke right away, joining in the laughter. "And he seemed like a nice guy. Like, huh, I thought he could treat me nicely," you looked away from his big eyes, facing the shelves with liquor.
"But?"
"What?" you asked him, turning to face him once again.
"I feel like there was a 'but'."
You smiled.
"But you also have a pretty face, and recently, you've come to treat me nice too," you said, and he pressed his lips together while slowly shaking his head up and down. "Well, actually, if it's just between you and me, your face is prettier."
He raised his brows. "Is it?"
"And your body too," you added, just to make him smile.
"Is mine bigger?" he asked, back to his normal joker self.
You pushed him lightly by the shoulder, not hard enough for him to fall off the stool.
"Never saw his, sorry," you decided to tease, and you both giggled.
"I'm sorry. About the Duff thing and all," he said, swallowing. "I kept the nickname because I thought it was cute. If I knew it bothered you so much, I'd have stopped. And I wouldn't have used it during sex."
"I'm okay with it now, I guess," you said. "It wasn't that bad hearing it during sex if I'm honest."
You tilted your head to the left, biting your tongue to not laugh because it was not funny. But Fred just had a way to ease your mood.
You thought silence was going to hunt you two again when Fred spoke.
"Is this the part where you admit you have feelings for me?" he smirked, placing his hands on your knees, relaxing you even more.
"Maybe," you chuckled. "Is this the part where you admit you have feelings for me?"
"Yes," he said, surprising you. "I have feelings for you."
"Well, I have feelings for you too, Freddie," you smiled, passing your fingers through his strong arms.
"You're not gonna forget that nickname, are you?" he faced away while asking.
"Nope."
"Fine by me, Duff," he replied, messing with you too. He then leaned closer, pressing his lips on yours, and it didn't take long for his hands to find your waist and bring you as closer to him as the stools allowed.
"But we are going slower this time, Weasley," you warned, parting your lips for just a second.
He smiled in the kiss.
"It's always better that way," he replied, probably remembering the soft, slow sex from last night because you were sure remembering that too.
You slapped his arm just strong enough for him to pout, but you kept kissing him anyway. When you two kissed, nothing else mattered— it was only the two of you in the world.
#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x y/n#fred weasley x slytherin!reader#fred weasley x ravenclaw!reader#fred weasley x hufflepuff!reader#fred weasley x gryffindor!reader#george weasley#Fred and George Weasley#Fred and George#george weasley x reader#harry potter#the duff
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Starbound AU World and Character Lore Notes
Things worth being aware of for characterization and such, either based in canon lore from Starbound itself or extrapolated off reasonable evidence to support the notion. Likely Part 1 of ??? submissions:
Conservation of Matter, Energy, and You The Starbound setting is futuristic to the point of magic, including also featuring actual magic. So that gives us a ton of wiggle room on handwaving away just about any nonsense, but there are some constants that continue on regardless. In this setting matter and energy are flawlessly interchangeable and can be preserved in a permanently stable, non-degrading state with no loss in conversion. The methods and specifications of how this wondrous technological development works are never deeply explored and frankly it’s better we keep it that way. So what applications does this have for people who live in the setting?
- Virtually Endless Storage Through the use of various forms of technological tools, matter is either converted into pure energy/data and stored within the tool, or matter can be spontaneously constructed via “nanites”. That is to say, a legion of microscopic robots with a unified hive mind that can cooperatively build complex structures seemingly out of nothing (in this case, converting some form of stored/ambient energy/mass into the necessary materials desired).
We see this sort of of functionality constantly within the setting, usable both by the player and NPCs alike. Whether it be a capsule pod, or a ray gun, or a Matter Manipulator, or any other bevy of trinkets that may come into play. Need a giant mech suit to explore the void of space, or a hover bike to skim a planet’s terrain in style? Just press a button on a handy little device and poof! Nanites instantly construct the vehicle for you on the spot. Want to carry an entire mountain in your pocket? Transport billions of gallons of molten lava from place to place without it cooling? The Matter Manipulator has you covered as it converts matter into energy and categorizes it in an easy-to-interpret list. Have a farm of cute critters which produce natural animal byproducts for you but need to relocate in a pinch? Just aim a ray gun at each and zap! Your adorable animal friend is converted into pure energy, stored within the gun’s capacitor system, and held there in perfect status for easy transport. You can even capture and tame wild animals and monsters from alien worlds by throwing pokeba-- er, “capture pods” at them to the same function.
Mind you, this manner of matter-to-energy-back-to-matter conversion is 100% efficient and suffers no degradation. Similarly we don’t have any of the Star Trek “teleporting actually kills you and spawns a clone that just thinks it’s the real you” nonsense either. When you pick up a volume of dirt with the Matter Manipulator, the device doesn’t replicate the molecular composition of ‘dirt’. It takes that exact piece of dirt, turns it into energy, and when you want to recall it later it gives you back that exact piece of dirt. This even works on conceptual forms of matter like “storage”. You can use the Matter Manipulator to pick up a storage cabinet and tote it around in an energy/digital form. However, you can also fill that storage cabinet with items and then scan it, at which point you energize/digitize the filled cabinet. When you bring it back out again, it still has all those items stored inside.
Say you have a storage unit that can hold 300 items. Now let’s say you have 300 of such storage units. You fill all 300 with whatever you want and then pick up the many units with the Matter Manipulator, store them into that single original 300-capacity unit, and then pick up that to put it in your pocket. Container-ception! This only works one-tier deep, however. You can put a filled container inside another container and then pick that up, but you can’t put both of those filled containers into a third and then pick that up.
What this means within the context of the setting is that moving vast amounts of materials, goods, even living beings is a completely negligible effort. It would be completely plausible for entire cities to be constructed seemingly out of thin air, or wholly relocated from one planet to another, with no real trouble at all.
-Functional Immortality So remember what I said before about being able to convert animals into energy? Yeah, that’s not just animals - it’s all creatures, including sentient beings like you. Teleportation is the primary method of transport throughout the galaxy (followed shortly by ship-based faster-than-light star cruising) where the target individual is converted into energy and hurled across the galaxy in point-to-point teleportation. This of course can be activated intentionally in order to facilitate mobility (be it long-range teleportation or short-range “blinking” to traverse one’s immediate surroundings) but it also has the potential to activate automatically when one dies.
Being a video game, of course there’s a “respawn” function so you can continue playing after you die. But this isn’t a benefit only the player gets - NPCs get it too. When a Being dies from whatever traumatic event, they burst into energy and vanish. Compare this to when you kill a wild animal on some hostile enemy world - such critters die with a wet squelch sound, a spray of blood, and often leave behind organic matter like raw meat, pelts, chemical compounds, and other facets of their anatomy. If you have a friendly NPC you’re escorting as part of a mission and they suffer an untimely doom? The game prompts you with a message saying that they’ve respawned safely nearby so you can continue on. Whenever you the player die in-game, your character respawns back on their ship’s teleporter platform after a short animation sequence unique to your species. The animation is clearly just visual flavor and not meant to be taken literally, but the process it represents is what really matters.
Basically what all of this means is that whenever a being travels via Teleportation, there’s some built-in security function that will monitor their biological signal (which is how they can allow for intergalactic teleportation on the fly in the first place) that will prevent a Being from dying. It doesn’t protect one from being injured (especially since wounds can be immediately healed through similar technological processes), but at the moment one would expire they’re instead recalled to safety by the teleportation system. This sort of technology operates on faster-than-light processing speeds, so it’s not like it could ever really come up short in the heat of the moment, after all. But even with that it isn’t infallible. In the events of the game, Earth was completely destroyed and countless lives were lost in the process, presumably because there was no recall function operating at the time. I mean, Ruin showed up to wreck the entire planet in short order, so no doubt whatever security systems might’ve been in place on Earth were likewise destroyed in the process, which required survivors to flee via ship. At the time of its destruction Earth had been a peaceful paradise for ages, so odds are they might’ve been a little lax on having redundancies to cover their butts with since there were literally no genuine threats to be vigilant against.
Back to the point; this serves as functional immortality. Not actual immortality. Beings in the setting still age, can suffer diseases/toxins, lose limbs, and so forth. Similarly, if one were to somehow disable the means of teleportation (putting up a no-fly-zone anti teleportation field, destroying a teleporter array entirely, etc.) that would put someone relying on such a means of security in mortal peril as a result. There might even be naturally-occurring cases that could prevent teleportation recall as well, which the player may experience during the events at the end of the game which I won’t discuss fully here to avoid spoiling anyone.
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Living Fossils {1}
Dust sprayed and crackled against the various windows of the shuttle's cabin as it touched down, the thrusters adding little to the dust already swirling from the storm. Within a few moments the shuttle finished the landing process with a slight jostle, and the occupants made their way to the airlock and into their atmospheric suits. The air of this planet wasn't compatible with their lungs, so the suits would come in handy for more than just the particles of sand and small rocks that were assaulting and scraping microscopic gouges into the hull.
As the six lithe figures stepped into the bulky suits, the oldest addressed the others in the airlock antechamber. "Nothing like another outing for our scientific enumeration! Given what I could see of our surroundings, it is a small miracle there is anything left." Another slipped her shoulder into her suit as she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's nice and all Doc, but my only surprise will be if I don't die of boredom on this heap of sand." The scientist eyed her with an upraised brow, seeing her clip a gun to it's holster on her side as another, larger carbine hung in the cabinet behind. "I suppose that is why Allnex paid you to join these sorts of expeditions: to spare you from such a terrible end otherwise. And these sorts of finds aren't all that boring, I should hope."
The second mercenary of the group finished putting on his own suit as he quipped, "Oh yeah, nothing gets the blood pumping like another broken vase or some sorta proto-battery. You guys get excited over the smallest things."
Another of the younger females in the group, one of the four wearing a white suit to the two green ones, looked at the male mercenary and said, "That's better than getting all excited for nothing over some Jurgthen, Kenta."
Kenta smiled knowingly, "Murien's only saying that cause her team lost last night and now she owes me."
She blushed a little as she quickly shut her locker, the orange of her team's poster hanging from the inside of the door perhaps being given away. She still turned back to Kenta and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, I'll pay you after we're back up top."
The doctor cleared his throat as he set the helmet down over his head, "Yes, well, let's get to that, shall we? Mic check please, everyone." A chorus of clicks and beeps sounded through all the helmets, all nodding in acknowledgement. "Excellent. Now, if you take a look at your maps, our target is to our west a few hundred clacks, so it won't be long to get there." As he spoke, the group punched the appropriate button on their wrist consoles to bring up the green light of the hologram. A large green dot was in the center of the map, while a smaller blue triangle represented their position.
One raised their hand, to which the doctor nodded, "Yes, Saffer?"
Not comfortable with the others' eyes on him, he wriggled on his seat in apprehension. "The structure, Doctor Ghan, do we know what it's for or how it lasted all this time? What the beings were like that built it?"
The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't, but the evidence points to some intelligence in whatever used to live here. What surface scans we could manage through the storms showed signs of oceans and rivers at one point, which led us to seeing the grid-shaped patterns of many cities. We are here to see how advanced they became and if anything might be worth bringing back for Allnex. Our point of interest is a large collection of metals, perhaps a structure. I know this will be your first bit of field work, but I'm sure there will be plenty to discover." His eyes drifted to the two mercenaries that had clearly started a card game on top of their wrist map holograms. "Broken pottery or otherwise."
The six figures eventually emerged from the vehicle, and after a final reference of their wrist computers, they began to trek through the obscuring storm in a line, the two mercenaries flanking close on either side. Along the way they spotted jagged, unnatural remains of walls, and even the bent remains of metallic signs, long since rusted over to tell what they said or were intended for. They stopped briefly at several spots like these, but were not able to glean much. It didn't help their understanding when as soon as they might spot glimpses of these formations and signs of previous civilization, it was just as soon lost again in the red-tinted maelstrom.
After over an hour, the group spotted their target: a huge, multistory building which stood defiantly against the failing world around it. Sand and rock draped itself in piles and drifts around the large base, while they could see that sections of the walls had crumbled or caved in, exposing some of the upper floors to the elements. "It is a building alright, so the civilization had gotten to at least advanced metallurgy." Doctor Ghan exclaimed to everyone through their helmets. "What do you think, Codru?" The other male student nodded, "Definitely, but to have lasted for several centuries as you estimate since the planet-wide death event is especially impressive. I think Allnex will be very happy with just a sample of the siding for study of its properties, let alone anything inside."
Hyupi the female mercenary looked around it exasperatedly and said, "Yeah, and speaking of which, how do we get inside, big-shots? Any of the scans reveal a nice door for us?" After a brief but fruitless look around the building as the gale howled around them, the group was about ready to call defeat. They were in the midst of climbing one of the drifts around the base when Saffer suddenly cried out in surprise. The two mercenaries spun in place with their carbines at the ready, but Saffer stood up with embarrassment clearly on his face through the glass of his helmet. "Sorry everyone, I tripped on a rock or something."
Murien was behind him, and was pointing at Saffer's feet. "Or something is right, look! It's the corner of something metal!"
The group converged excitedly on the two, as Murien and Saffer dug with their hands into the drift, exposing a little more of a wall and roof. The doctor's face bore a gratified smile. "Thank goodness for a bit of clumsiness, Saffer! This might be our way in. Quick, get out the shovels!"
Taking out small folding shovels from their backpacks, they began to take turns excavating the sand and dirt away from the outcropping, and even the mercenaries showed some enthusiasm of discovery as they took part in the digging, though the environmentals in the suits could do little to negate the sweat from both their exertions and the sweltering heat.
After a short while, a door was revealed for their efforts, the senior student Codru was even able to discover a pad to the left of the door. As he brushed the last dirt away with his hand, through the dusty screen he could see it pulse with light, the screen showing unrecognizable symbols. Over the comms channel his surprise was immediately evident. "Uh, Doctor Ghan? You might want to look at this."
From over his right shoulder, Ghan could just see the pad. "Ah, they had some computer technology as well? Interesting."
Codru shook his head, "No sir. Look, it still has power!"
Ghan was at his side as fast as his bulky suit would allow, while the others all gathered behind him. Looking at the pad which still shone visibly through the crust of dirt and dust which coated the face of it, the doctor was amazed. "That means we are at least dealing with a nascent Type A civilization! There must be a fusion or even antimatter energy source inside the building! Oh, well done everyone! Well done indeed!"
Hyupi left the gathering and sat to one side against the side of the little valley they had dug out, her hand leaning her carbine against her body. "Well, sounds great doc, but what's a Type A?"
Saffer was practically giddy with excitement as he explained, "With any civilization there are metrics to understand it's progress. Type A is part of one scale of measurement we commonly use. It describes a civilization that is using all the possible energy of its planet. Type B, which we more closely relate to, use all the energy of their solar system, and so on."
Doctor Ghan was already busy taking pictures of the screen as he interjected, saying, "Yes, but there are a lot of ways for things to go wrong; lots of checks to get past. Most don't get near this far. Disease, war, climate upheaval, all can end things prematurely, as likely happened here."
Kenta looked at his wrist pad readouts as he said, "I'm sorry to cut things short, but we need to get back to the shuttle, we don't have much time left on our respirators to stick around. Pack it up everyone. I don't know about any of you but a shower seems like a real treat right now."
As the rest packed up and reformed to move out, Saffer was the last in line, reluctantly packing his backpack with his supplies and shovel. His body thrummed with excitement at the possibilities which seemed to tantalize him from inside the vault-like structure. Here was everything that made him want to be a xeno-archaeologist in a neat, metallic package. As he slipped one of the straps of his pack over the shoulder of his suit and turned to join the group, he thought he saw a flicker of movement from the pad out of the corner of his eye. He stared at the screen, but it still showed the same set of symbols as before. He jumped as his comms crackled with Kenta's voice. "Hey kid, come on! Move it."
He shook his head. "Sorry, coming!" It was just his imagination and excitement overcoming his senses. His mother always warned him about his excitable personality. He stamped up the side of their valley as sand cascaded down in his wake, and rejoined the others as they trekked back to the shuttle.
The wind whipped past as reddish dirt danced in convoluted twists through the air. The pad next to the door flickered, and instead of the previous symbols an alien face appeared, looking at the retreating back of the young student as he tramped up the side of the dug valley and disappeared over the top. A smile creeped over the alien face before the screen blinked, returning to black as dust once more accumulated over it.
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New Post has been published on http://edgysocial.com/leading-cte-expert-speaks-out/
Leading CTE Expert Speaks Out
Ann McKee, M.D., is a neuropathologist who specializes in neurodegenerative disease, including chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), at Boston University School of Medicine. She is professor of neurology and pathology and director of the Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy Center. Much of her current research centers on mild traumatic brain injury from contact sports and military service and its long-term consequences. She has examined the brains of numerous former NFL players.
Ken Reed, League of Fans’ sports policy director, recently interviewed McKee.
Reed: How did you get involved with examining the brains of former football players?
McKee: Well, I started out as a neurologist. I then trained in neuropathology and was focused on neurodegeneration. So, for years, I studied Alzheimer’s, aging, Parkinson’s, that kind of thing.
Then one day, we received the brain of a man who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He was a professional boxer. When I looked at his brain microscopically, I was floored. I was fascinated by what I saw. I’d never seen anything quite like it. That’s where it all started, by examining a boxer who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s during life but at death had CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy).
Later, I saw a report that Dr. Bennet Omalu had found a football player with a Tau-based neurodegeneration and that peaked my interest. Then, coincidentally, a colleague introduced me to Chris Nowinski (co-founder and CEO of the Concussion Legacy Foundation) who was looking for a neuropathologist to look at brains of football players. I jumped at the chance and the first football player we looked at was John Grimsley. (Grimsley played seven seasons in the NFL for the Houston Oilers and was found to have CTE.) Grimsley was only 45 when he died (of an accidental gunshot wound) and I’d never seen that kind of neurodegeneration in a man that young.
Reed: What is the mechanism by which repetitive brain trauma, as experienced in football, turns into the disease known as CTE?
McKee: Well, that’s the million-dollar question. We know that after trauma in animals, we can see abnormal Tau protein build up in brains. We do believe the build-up is related to the cellular changes that occur to the brain after trauma.
Similarly, in football players, I do think it’s related to the low-level, but repetitive, trauma experienced by these athletes.
Reed: Do you see any difference between how the disease (CTE) progresses if you have say five or six concussions versus if you just have a lot of repetitive subconcussive brain trauma? Is one scenario worse than the other?
McKee: We don’t see a direct link between the number of concussions and the risk for CTE.
Obviously, there’s been a lot of concentration on concussions, but the truth is, in all our studies we have about 20% of brain donors that have CTE that never had a documented concussion.
What we are seeing over and over is that the duration of exposure to football — the time that a person plays football — really increases the risk for CTE.
Reed: Have you had any cases of high school players with CTE?
McKee: Yes, we’ve had a couple.
Reed: What’s the youngest case of CTE that you’ve discovered?
McKee: 17.
Reed: In people that play football for approximately the same amount of time, some develop CTE symptoms and some don’t. Do you have a theory as to why? Is it hereditary that certain brains are more apt to get CTE?
McKee: We think that there are a lot of factors that probably play into this and genetics is clearly one of them. We think there probably are certain constellations of genes that make it more likely that you would get CTE; or that you would get it with less exposure; or that your disease would advance more quickly given some genetic susceptibility factors. There could also be a number of other modifying factors like age at first exposure.
In addition, there’s a lot of concern that the young brain is actually more susceptible to damage from low-level hits and so the age that you begin to play a sport may increase your risk for CTE.
Reed: Some helmet manufacturers and coaches have touted new high-tech helmets as preventing concussions and other brain injuries in an attempt to reassure parents. What do you think of those claims?
McKee: I think some helmet designs could slow the velocity of the force some but ultimately the skull is basically like a helmet. And the brain is tethered but still mobile within the skull and that’s something you can’t change with a helmet design.
The only thing that would really keep the brain from sloshing back and forth due to rotational and linear forces is securing the helmet to the shoulders, basically immobilizing the neck and that’s not going to happen in football, it would just limit the players too much.
Reed: Do you think there are any promising blood tests or scans that could detect CTE in its early stages, allowing for an intervention of some type that might prevent the disease’s progression?
McKee: I haven’t seen anything that might specifically detect CTE in these young stages. But I do think there are some promising findings in this area.
We definitely need that biomarker, we need that blood test, or that scan, that detects these brain lesions early on. People have said it’s like looking for a teaspoon of an abnormality in a swimming pool. I mean that’s just the magnitude of the challenge in finding such a subtle change in these young individuals.
But, I actually think we’re going to find it at some point.
Reed: How many of the brains of former football players that you’ve examined show CTE?
McKee: We’re at 97 out of 101 brains examined at this point with CTE.
Reed: Wow. Given that fact, what do you think the percentage is of living former NFL players who have CTE right now?
McKee: I don’t know. I don’t want to hazard a guess, quite honestly. I’d rather not speculate. I am very concerned that it’s a high number but I don’t know what it is. I feel very uncomfortable because I’m so concerned about what’s happening to football players. We see all the tragedy, and that’s really hard to ignore.
Reed: I’ve read in the past that for most of your life you were a big football fan in general and a Green Bay Packers fan in particular. How has all this affected your fandom?
McKee: I finally gave up football. I didn’t watch this year. I didn’t watch a single game. I just couldn’t do it this year. It was just too overwhelming. I couldn’t compartmentalize anymore. I can’t ignore what I’m seeing. I wish it would go away but it’s not going to.
Reed: Football is such a huge part of our culture. It’s going to be hard for the American people to really come to grips with this.
McKee: Oh, definitely. Look at how football is ingrained on college campuses. You have financial, public relations, alumni association aspects. And then you look at communities, like those in Florida and Texas. I mean they’re just based on football.
So, I think it’s going to be generational because it’s so deeply ingrained in our culture that it’s going to take a generation before people don’t feel the same commitment to the sport.
Reed: Do you think public schools should be sponsoring an activity like football that clearly is dangerous to the human brain?
McKee: No. It’s a school. And the whole point is to prepare students to be the most productive and successful people they can be in life. And we’re doing things that limit that possibility.
It’s a huge problem. There’s no easy answer but it’s a real problem. And I see that for colleges, too. I mean these are supposed to be institutions of higher learning and it’s almost the opposite for some people.
Reed: I remember reading that you have an adult son. Did he play football growing up?
McKee: I do have a son. He’s out of school now. He never played football. And it had nothing to do with me. I was actually crushed that he didn’t play football. I thought “Oh my God, this is awful.” My brothers all played football. My dad played football.
But with my son, it was his dad who thought football was a dangerous sport. My son was a goalkeeper in soccer and he luckily never had much head trauma. He never had any concussions or anything.
I really wanted him to play football but now I’m thankful he didn’t.
Reed: So, I imagine that today you wouldn’t recommend that any youngster play football. Is that the case?
McKee: I can’t anymore. I just can’t.
— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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