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pbandjesse · 4 years ago

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It was a really good day off. But I absolutely do not want to go to work tomorrow. I dont want to work myself up but I just. Do not want to go. I want to be home. I want to make things. I dont want to feel the stress. Like I hope its a good time but I hate feeling like this.

I am not trying to let it taint how nice of today was though. After a night of not being able to fall asleep for a long time, I did slept okay. I slept in a half hour later but that worked out because then James could leave and get us donuts and put gas in the car while I got dressed. I felt extra cute today. My hair looked great. Which makes me feel worried about my hair appointment. Like I think it will be fine and will look great. But things can go wrong. So it makes me nervous. I am still excited for a change though.

James kept telling me how pretty I looked, and that I was making them feel shulbby so they changed their shirt. I think we both looked very cute.

It was about a 45 minute drive out to Brookside Gardens. And it was a nice drive. James put an album on. I enjoyed my donuts. But it was also a beautiful day and everyone else had the same idea. So the parking lot was full. But we lucked out and found a spot on the street very close. Good thing James is an excellent parallel parker.

The park was lovely. It was bright and beautiful. The gift shop was open and James got me two beautiful glass marbles with flowers blown into them. And we walked around most of the park.

I loved all the flowering trees, and seeing the turles. We took some pictures. And enjoyed the sunshine. I liked all the rock decorations and paths they made. And while there were a lot of people I never really felt boxed in or anything. We had plenty of space.

The park had a no picnic policy. But we had waters and I brought a fancy white chocolate (with strawberry pieces) chocolate bar to share. So we sat on a bench in the shade overlooking the ponds and had our chocolates and enjoyed eachothers company.

We were there for nearly two hours. It was just a really nice place. I would like to go in another season. Maybe they do something special for Christmas. Im glad we found out about it though, it was a good time.

When we left James called in a food order from a local place. We got banh mi sandwiches and I got a thai tea. And we drove home.

We listened to a podcast and some music. And were home around 1. I was feeling really tired. Lunch was great, I took some of the toppings on my sandwich off and saved it to have for lunch tomorrow. And as James got ready to play DND with some friends, I went and laid in the studio.

I would spend a lot of the afternoon just doing that. I was cold and tired. I never actually fell asleep. But I was very cozy in all the blankets Ive recently added.

I would get up and work on some stuff. I made a little bear using the perler beads I got. Which ended up being a little harder then I expected! BUt once I got the hang of it it was fun. I want to make some more things. I ended up spending like an hour sorting colors though. That will make my life easier. Like with my beading. Which is another thing I would like to do more of. I will have to find something to bead soon.

I moved to the couch and hung out there. I was cold though. James finished playing their game and came to hug on me. I was cold though and moved back to the studio. James went to work on laundry and then joined me for a cuddle.

Eventually they would go on a bike ride. And I would do a little more work. When James got back we would go through their clothes and switch some things from storage for the season. It was fun.

I had soup for dinner. And felt a little better after that. But I was restless. So I went for a drive and went to the grocery store. I got stuff to make my own version of the pink drink. Though the store had no regular coconut milk, so I had to get creamer. Still alright. It made it a little to sweet, so when I try again I will water it down more. I was a little frustrated at the store because I felt like I couldnt find anything, but it was alright in the end.

I headed home. Made my drink. Hung out in the studio. And then our neighbor came down to say hi and I was excited to pet their dog for a bit. We all sat on the floor outside the kitchen and chatted and it was just really nice.

Once Kim and Kia left, I went to go take a shower. And now I am in bed. Sleepy. I hope I can sleep easier tonight. I hope you can too.

Tomorrow I want to get some paint out. Maybe Ill repaint my bike. Who knows. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!

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platinummice · 4 years ago

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This was a lot more that i thought for some reason, the answers are pretty short and to the point so if you want me to elaborate on something a bit more feel free to ask :)

@rockshortage

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Did a take a test to figure this out? Why yes, yes I did. ISFP-T, or Adventurer is what I got for Archer.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

He sure does, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He mostly just thinks he’s going literally insane. It’s a pretty big reason for him not sticking around people very much even though he craves affection.

Are they good at handling change in their life?

No not really, Archer has a hard time, now more than ever trying to keep his simple life together, he’d prefer it not change as much as possible.

Is your OC a martyr?

He tries pretty hard not to be, or at least to not show that he is. He sees the truth though.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

Archer is pretty straight forward, if he fucked up he’ll say something. But he’ll make things up for others if he like them enough.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?

I guess it depends? If its not something that matters very much, compromise will be easier, but if he thinks it’s important then he’s going to be harder to bargain with.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?

Only his dogs and his friends needs get put before his own. Anyone else? so sorry.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?

He’s addicted to taking in animals? Seems harmless, but in truth he does it so he has a reason to keep living, which isn’t healthy. I can’t say he’d still be alive if he hadn’t taken Ranger and Fletcher with him the day those raiders killed the rest of his dogs.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

He’s terrified of needles. Thanks mom and dad.

Is your character empathetic?

He is, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to care.

Is your character observant?

Yes, very. Probably because he works with animals a lot, and its very important to notice their body language, so he can read people and situations pretty well. Plus he’s more of a sniper so being observant is important.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?

He was really proud when he finished building his house, and all the furniture for it.

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but even when he does he doesn’t bring it up. He’ll sulk around a bit, and when asked he’ll say he fine. He wont really feel bad about if? Its just an emotion, it happens sometimes.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?

Seeing people hurt animals for no reason. He will throw down. Might not win, but its the thought that counts.

Are they harsh on themselves?

YES.

Do they make excuses often?

Nah he’s pretty fast to admit when he’s doing something wrong.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I mean i didn’t make him like super ugly? But i wasn’t going for amazingly attractive either, so average i guess?

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

He wears a mask all the time so he really doesn’t care. I mean at one point he had tore most of his hair out and just had a few scattered clumps clinging to his head, but people couldn’t see his face so it didn’t matter to him.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

He got some damn big emotional problems, and he recognizes some, like his slowly diminishing will to live. But things like his urge to have someone else control his entire existence he doesn’t really realize are problems.

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Everyone starts off with a set amount of respect. You either get more or have it taken away depending on your actions.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?

Arch can be pretty funny, if he has anything its a sense of humor.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?

Yeah he does, what can you do. No guilt will stop him.

Do they have a large or small group of friends?

He has two dogs and sometimes he works with a stinky man. He thinks Gage is a friend but does Gage think he is a friend? Who knows if Gage will ever tell him.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?

....His dogs?

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?

He likes talking to people, but if there are too many people around he gets overwhelmed pretty fast.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?

More in the mix, he gets anxious.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

Arch considers himself less important then most people, thats mental illness babey.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

He’d throw everything to the wind for his dogs. Sorry friends, but they’ve helped him through too much.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

Well he knows that he has changed a lot, so why not other people too?

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

When he was in the Mojave, Joshua taught him about Mormonism, but he didn’t really understand. He remembers some stuff, but after he left he didn’t try to keep up with practicing it.

Do they believe in an afterlife?

It’s not something he takes time to think about really. That kid of a ‘ill cross that bridge when i get there’ type thing

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

He would definitely not like that. He can barely manage his mental health as it is.

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

Smart when it comes to plants and animals, just about everything else? Not so smart.

How many languages do they speak?

Speaks exactly one(1) language.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?

He likes learning things, its just getting that knowledge to stick in his head that’s a problem. He doesn’t really seak out knowledge but if he has the chance to ask about things he will.

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?

Its just a little shack like building, but he built it and he’s proud.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

A big ol’ farm house, lots of room for lots of dogs/friends

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

I dont think so, but it’d be funny as hell.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

He can fix simple things, cabinets, chairs, dressers. Nothing too much more advanced than that.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?

He works really all the time. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. He basically runs a mini zoo by himself, its a lot of work but he loves it.

How often are they home?

Pretty often, he has animals to take care of.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?

Not really, he likes being out and about.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

Archer is actually pretty musically inclined, he’d never admit it though. You might be able to catch him singing to his dogs, if you're lucky.

Would they enjoy a theme park?

Maybe if he could somehow go when there aren’t any people there. That might sill be pushing it. He gets overwhelmed easily.

Is your OC close to their family?

Nope.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

He only ever knew his mom and his dad. If there was anyone else in his family he never met them.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

Nah he really doesn’t think they’re supportive of him. They definitely wanted him dead.

What kind of childhood did your OC have?

Did they go through any typical phases growing up?

He went through a lot of things, but never got the chance to be emo.

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

I know i said he was strictly gay yesterday but im thinking he’d actually probably be Pan and he’d just lean towards more masculine partners. He hasn’t really thought about his sexuality so he’s never had a reason to be stressed over it.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Any space in his mind that was supposed to be used for math and literacy etc. is now storage space for little facts about the people he cares about. He will remember. Oh you said you thought this flower was pretty six an half years ago in passing and i found one so i thought id bring it back for you.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

Probably that there are multiple people who could be right.

Does your OC believe in love in first sight?

He barely even knows what love is, really.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?

He doesn’t really understand the point of it but if his S/O wanted it, he’d agree.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

Nope :)

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

Climb to a really high place, lil picnic, watch the sun set, (maybe hold hands?) look at the stars.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?

Not liking animals. They’re literally his entire life, you cant be with him and not like animals.

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

Umami. But he’ll literally eat anything, especially if he’s desperate.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?

He doesn’t really eat a lot of meat cause he wants to hurt as few animals as possible. He uses most of the meat he hunts for his animals, and only eats it when there is nothing else, or if there’s the possibility of it going to waste.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?

He cooks pretty often, that being said do NOT eat what he makes! I dont know how he is still alive!

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

Yep, in fact that's basically what he does already. Food is food babey.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

Archer wasn’t ever supposed to be like me, and he’s not really, which i think is a good thing?

Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Yes he needs hugs and I will provide.

What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?

I’ve technically had Archer for 5 years thats a long time :)

#i think i died while doing this #jkjk #i had a lot of fun #the relationship question were to most fun #even though Archer is hardly relationship material #archer #today on archer loves his dogs more than anything in the world

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kyanmaaaa · 6 years ago

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i told my bro abt this dream and hes just like why are your dreams so dark (so like, tw for this one)

but honestly i didnt really consider this dark it was oddly beautiful if scary. im going to fill in parts with what i think could have happened there but im also not going to include the details for what the room looked like in every scene besides whats neccassary, cause this was so vivid i could try to describe to you what each PERSON looked like and people usually dont even have faces in my dreams!

its still long so heres a read more

beginning of the dream im walking home at dusk and im coming from a direction i almost nvr walk, except for when its halloween. so it may have been halloween in my dream, the sunset is a beautiful BRIGHT orange and its on the side of my house rather than behind like it usually is but thats a minor detail.

cause around the house behind mine theres a very strange cloud formation, much lower than i usually see clouds and its not foggy but its just, theres clouds wrapped around the house except for the front and the wall just goes up and up and up to the top and slightly past the house. paired with the sunset i think thats really beautiful so i take some pics with my phone and go closer just to see how close i can get before the clouds disappear and then i’ll go home

i didnt get to go home, the clouds wrapped fully around the house and a strong, something, stopped me from leaving. also there was like an evil to/riel so she mighta been the one doing that

next part of the dream kinda jumps around so ill have to infer some parts but essentially the house changes from the building ive seen there for you know, my entire life, to a small dark wooden mansion. also muffet is there and guess what she ALSO sucks. and then theres this bitch blond haired human pony tail man and hes dumb and i dont like him. im not allowed to leave and im kinda enslaved i guess (my bro called me a prisoner with a job when i told him and it was stupid funny). muffets off on a job after i get settled in there and i dont know what happens to make me so submissive considering the next part of the dream focuses on another servant but whatever they did was REALLY REALLY BAD cause at every point after this im terrified of fucking up and ive pretty much given up on getting out.

this next part was more of a flashback sequance that happened later but for ease of reading im going to add it here instead. first other servant i meet is a beautiful large green shiny beetle man, seriously hes gorgeous and so well spoken and kind. when he was brought into the house he was introduced as just a regular human man, still as beautiful as ever tho, was hired to play piano for a party. as hes fiddling away with the keys though if you looked around you could see bright shiny green and gold strings just, laying flat against the wall, piano, his suit, etc. turns out those were his beetle wings but stretched out and distorted and at this point hes discovered cause to the untrained eye those look like decorations, but its how his kind disguises themselves. cause he can change his entire appearance except for his wings, so they have to try and hide their wings in the environment around them.

they didnt like him lying but it was calm at first. muffet invites him to a small welcoming dinner, just for a chat. they share a platter of food on one plate, partly meat, but most of whats facing him is just a lot of rice packed into a line. he slowly pecks away at that as he carries a polite conversation with muffet, but nvr touches the other side of the food. after hes abt halfway through it she asks “Why aren’t you trying the other food deary?” and he responds “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to Miss.” and has a bite.

after whatevers in that food kicks in he keels over in pain and she makes it very clear how things go in this house. he listens, he does not act without being told to, and if he ever tries to pull a stunt like that again he’ll be dead. “Am I clear deary?”

since he was there before i was some times passed since that happened. hes currently being punished by mr asshole blond ponytail man and his punishment is all of his meals are very plain. just rice and unseasoned meat. the chef clearly put effort into each platter tho as theyve been shaped into increasingly elaborate shapes the longer the punishment lasts. im not quite sure why this is a punishment? maybe beetle man isnt getting all the nutrients he needs and thats harder for his kind, perhaps he has a taste for good food and this is just the most the ponytail dude can get away with as a punishment since muffets in charge of the house, or maybe its meant to bring up bad memories of when he first came here.

this next parts, really foggy

back to me and muffets talking to someone through a large portal in the room? plans are made abt making humans lose hope and wiping out humanity. the vegan next to me is very excited abt this and comments on it and im just like, bro, that would be super bad for the earth and also immoral? and shes like oh right. at some point i befriend a guy even tho we hated each other at first but he’s moved elsewhere after some time

time skip to muffet informing me that due to my most recent mistake my family is going to be killed. at this point im just sick of it i’ve been here for months im miserable im lonely, i miss my family im just kinda, unstable

really unstable

im shouting at her if shes going to off my family she has to kill me too cause i cant live knowing theyre dead because of me or live without them, just sobbing, kill me, please just kill me i cant stay here anymore she sends me to my room and i pass by my beetle friend but neither of us says anything, also passed by some buff monster but its irrelevant. i dont go to my room instead im just looking through hallway after hallway, opening a storage closet and just trying to find SOMETHING to work with because yeah im miserable, yeah this is probably going to backfire but you do NOT. FUCK. WITH MY FAMILY! so i have to leave. i dont care if this might kill me i have to get out of there with whatever the hell i can find. what i find is two deflated balloons with little plastic bits inside that when u press a button they light up and im like OKAY maybe i, maybe me and beetle man can use this to signal to each other! thats great i can do this i can. i think i may have been crying and laughing here after my exploring Im hiding behind a sofa in a room in the furthest corner of the house cradling my little weird balloon bundle, just trying to find space to think. im safe because u cant see me from the door and the blinds on the window are drawn already. it feels like i havent seen the outside in a while remember how i said i was really unstable? this felt completely real in the dream so maybe it was real due to dream logic, but it feels like desperation in hindsight. i clicked both of the balloon lights on and realized i could use it as a phone! i need to call mom i miss her so much. so i do and she goes honey where are you? and im just crying and saying i love you, i love you so much im okay mom, its okay, and shes like are you at school??? and i just turn into a mess. at this point i look through the sheer curtains on the window and notice my brother driving a really tall truck moving some construction supplies. it sucks that hes here too but im just so happy to see him even if i know i cant talk to him. maybe if they dont find out we’re related he’ll be okay and then i leave the mansion, and i run. nothing here is familiar. im somewhere in the woods. i try to run to the front and see all of the construction workers there making something, but besides all the people somehow the dirt is just, this sheer cliff up up and up in front of the place. so i run to the back and try to get through the barrier around the place. i think i do but its not exactly easy. i fought off a possessed wild boar, but it was the size you think a pig would be, so like a medium sized dog, it just tried to bite me and while it hurt i just hit it til it stayed down long enough for me to bolt after im some distance away, further into the forest on a wide path i meet a human whos instantly on guard to fight me. i spray paint in his eyes and then run on i meet a strange human on the same path and he smirks at me and puts paper in front of his eyes to stop my tactic. i go hey fuck it maybe the fumes will disorient him and spray and his magic stops the paint in mid air and im like dude that is SICK, before he flings it back at me

i dont know how but i beat him too but the next part of the dream im finally somewhere residential, houses along the water, its a warm but not too warm day, light breeze, so all in and beautiful. i feel like im seeing and breathing freely and clearly for the first time in, i dont even know how long. its bright and while i know i have to run im just going to keep running, im free for now.

i use my little balloon contraption and call up my mom again now that im somewhere im positive no one will hear me. i tell her im sorry but i cant go home, that this is likely goodbye, and i cant guarantee ill get out of this alive but it’s okay. i love you so much. and she has to leave too. i stress this. she has to leave, cut all ties, cut all things that could trace you and get out of there.

and then my alarm woke me up

its hard to explain why some sections of this dream were so scary, just the feeling of wrongness, isolation, powerlessness, and just some distant pain that i dont know what it was. it felt like the longer i was there the more my world was ending

#dream journal

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bastardrobocop · 6 years ago

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on fallout 76

so, because im a fool i pre ordered fallout 76. frankly, i was going to buy it on release anyway because im starved for anything fallout and new california was a complete bust.

anyway, this means i have had access to the “B.E.T.A.”, which isn’t really a beta. it’s just server stress tests. i’ve done every pc round so far and i feel like i can say pretty conclusively that it’s just not very good.

sorry, this is going to be a long meandering post

i dont know if its something they can fix in the like, week before they launch the game, but the delay/latency/feel is so fucking whack it’s unbelievable. the multiplayer fallout new vegas mod feels like it has better netcode. in addition, it is dreadfully optimized. i play on a laptop, so maybe take my perspective with a grain of salt, but i’m not the only one who has pointed this out. i use an nvidia 970m, which runs fallout 4 at around 50/60 frames per second. fallout 76 tops out at around 10-30 on average. just wandering the world, the framerate is atrocious. performance is best in small interior cells and in wide open spaces with nothing in it. in more dense and enemy populated areas, the game stutters hard. more than once ive had the game freeze for several seconds during a firefight. its honestly inexcusably bad most of the time. with poor latency and framerate chugging, the gameplay experience is trying. it makes literally everything painful, including just inventory management and crafting.

the gameplay itself isnt too awful in that its just fallout 4 again but without the pretense of minimal rpg elements. performance problems can make some engagements suck, but most common enemies aren’t too hard. however, the real nasty ones that are higher level than you can be nigh on impossible to take down solo, which sucks because my friends arent always available and dealing with online randos is always bad. but it’s also the only way to get like, good weapons. but anyway, the core gameplay loop is almost the same. i say almost because the ‘workshop’ storage is your only storage. and it has a 400lb limit. which takes into account anything you put in it. this should seem like an obvious issue; you basically cant afford to store things if you gather valuable resources. im currently stuck carrying this big fucking rocket launcher which is useless right now because i dont have any inventory space for missiles, which weigh a ton. also, ammo has weight now. and you can’t scrap ammo for ammo parts like gunpowder or lead. and you can’t sell ammo either. so instead you just have to like, dump hundreds of rounds just on the ground since you can’t store them in the workshop because you need space for steel and adhesive and that M2 Browning that you can’t use yet but want to hold onto because it looks bitchin. however, you can bulk scrap with plastic, which reduces weight by about half. however, therein lies another problem; plastic becomes a precious resource because you can’t make a bulk pile of wood without it for some reason. plastic is currently more precious than literal gold. still, you get stuck holding a bunch of valuable scrap in your inventory which you can’t put into your stash because it’s full and you can’t go out and find more plastic because then you’ll be over-encumbered and you cant afford to drop this circuit board and you can’t build any more things in your camp because the budget is painfully low and even when you DO get enough plastic to bulk things the bulked stuff goes into your inventory and wont necessarily fit back into the stash and i’m still carrying this fucking missile launcher please god let me put down this missile launcher please oh please god

the ui is a disaster. it’s like they turned 4′s console/gamepad control scheme and doubled down on it; on pc, random keys are bound to multiple things and then also bound to a separate key, and you can’t re-bind things individually. so that means middle mouse is both ‘open favorite item wheel’ and ‘enter third person’ and ‘enter build mode’ when there’s also V which is also ‘enter third person’. you cannot change this. there will always be one button for this. there is still no separate binding for bash and grenade throw, of course. if you press escape, it opens the map. if you press m, it opens the map. to open the pause menu with things like ‘options’ and ‘microtransaction store’ and ‘quit the game’, you have to open the map with either escape or M and then press Z. there is no direct button to take you to the pause menu, as far as i can tell. when you go up to a workbench, there are three options; E to craft, R to scrap, Space to repair and modify. from this menu, if you want to scrap an item, you must mouse over it, and then select it. however, DO NOT MOVE THE MOUSE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. even if the prompt is open and asking if you want to scrap, say, a pump action shotgun, if you mouse over and the highlight moves over to your only power armor chest piece, it will scrap the power armor chest piece. even though it was asking if you wanted to scrap the shotgun. its potentially one of the most hostile interfaces ive ever seen. the bindings for ‘scrap mode’ and ‘scrap item’ in different menus also change. if i’m in the repair menu, G scraps an item. if i’m in scrap mode, spacebar does. the only good thing ive seen so far is the favorite wheel and also you can set it so you can see through your pip boy background while browsing it.

the world feels desolate and boring. the lack of human npc interaction has been replaced with finding some dead persons holotape. there are robots. there is at least one AI. but all the questgivers are pieces of paper, holotapes, or voices on a radio. sometimes it’s a robot. you don’t actually interact though. there’s no interaction beyond listening and being told what to do. while im bitching about how the world feels, lets talk about factions. bethesda has kind of casually hyped up factions as being some kind of meaningful, cool choice. they’re literally nothing. there is no indication to other players what faction you are in. you can join every faction and reach top rank in every faction. you cant see if anyone is a member of your faction unless theyre in your faction specific base. there is no inter-faction conflict, there are very few faction quests aside from random events, and once you’re done with the main faction quest, you’re basically done for good except for repeatable ones. i honestly expected factions to be a meaningful choice, which was probably my mistake. i was hoping it would force you to commit to your current faction once you joined it, or would prompt you to abandon another faction in order to join a new one. but there’s just nothing. i was expecting something like, i dunno, destinys faction thing. like joining new monarchy. and maybe butting heads with members of other factions, like i figured the Brotherhood faction would be my enemy if i joined the enclave. but it’s just nothing. the world is nothing, the quests are nothing, everything just feels pointless.

this is also a personal gripe, but there are like no energy weapon alternatives to small guns aside from the errant laser pistol, but ammo is extremely rare. the only new energy weapon i’ve seen so far is the plasma gatling, which is a big gun. otherwise, it’s just the crappy pistol/rifle converting laser and plasma rifle. no plasma pistol, just a pistol conversion. no laser pistol, just a pistol conversion. i’ve always loved energy weapons and just like. not getting any variety while guns and melee weapons get tons of variety is grating. there are many new ballistic weapons that look neat. the 10mm smg is back, and i am admittedly fond of it. however, 10mm ammo is painfully rare. i spend basically all my lead making more ammo for it. i can kind of get by with my laser pistol and my shotgun always makes up however much ammo i lose because a lot of enemies use shotguns, but my 10mm just goes up in smoke and there’s none to be found elsewhere. there’s a shocking amount of .308 because almost every early/mid enemy uses a hunting rifle, but i guess it makes sense because the big MG-32 thing takes .308 so they want you to be able to use it when the time comes. still, i’d rather be using an energy weapon. i want like. a recharger pistol. or the plasma rifle with all the tubes. or a pulse gun. just like. anything other than the ugly aer9 pistol conversion. i think the folks down at bethesda just dont like energy weapons very much; theyre leaps and bounds less viable than small guns.

the enemies look okay. instead of raiders, you have the Scorched. they’re Marked Men, but weaker and also a cult formed by radioactive bats. there are super mutants, because bethesda cant be bothered to go outside of the comfort zone of Things People Recognize and also they hate lore i guess. the wild animals are kind of fun. theres a big toad that looks cute, and frogs that have MASSIVE arms that they run on, which looks funny. theyre small though. things like the mothman and snallygaster look neat. the flatwoods monster is okay. the grafton bastard is big and kind of easy to cheese out. there is a monster named after a flawed and racist interpretation of indigenous beliefs. theres a big sloth, who i love. the mole men (called mole miners) are intimidating and ANNOYINGLY precise with shotguns. they’re later game enemies and very aggressive. they drop a neat looking unarmed weapon that ive been using, called a mole miner gauntlet. it’s like a power fist with big claws. there’s a big bee called a honeybeast. ive basically covered all of the new monsters, though. everything else is from fallout 4 and dlcs. this includes things like anglers, which had obviously evolved on far harbor along with the lure plant so it doesnt make sense for them to be there, and gulpers which are big salamanders so i guess that’s more okay. there are swarms of bees that are just he same repeated png of a bee, spinning around. oh yeah, there are a couple new insect types; ticks and fireflies. both use the animations of the radroach and bloatfly, respectively.

solo play can be kind of boring and difficult. most randos you meet will either ignore you or call you a slur and run away. ive only had one guy break into my house and i murdered him. however, even though he had a bounty on his head, he was still allowed to get ‘revenge’ on me which meant he could spawn right next to me and this time he had a power armor suit, so he killed me a couple times before logging out to avoid my wrath. coward. if you’re out there dude, i’ll kick your ass. also, quick note about the bounty system; its kinda rough around the edges. i tried to save someones garden by shooting a ghoul that was stomping their flowers in the back. however, my shot somehow curved around him at point blank and broke a blackberry bush. from then on, i had a 20 cap bounty on my head. i had to hide from people in my secret enclave bunker and get my friend to kill me so i could perceive other people on the map again and also not live in fear of every tom dick and larry with a power armor frame and a bad attitude.

i feel like i should wrap up. fallout 76 is not very good, but if they can work out performance and latency it wouldnt be too bad for just dicking around with friends. in terms of being like, a fallout game, it’s worse than 4. i haven’t gotten into story spoilers, but its not great. and it feels remarkably desolate for a game thats advertised as being a cool time with your buds. maybe itll be better when there are more people playing. i dunno. its just not very good. i dont recommend it.

#long post #fallout 76 #i just want a good post apocalyptic role playing game #is that too much to ask

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helena-studyblr · 6 years ago

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a post no one asked for!

hello so i reblogged a questionnaire a lil bit ago and i’m going to answer them now because...why not

1. how old are you?

im 18!

2. are you in high school or college(university)?

college

3. what year or grade are you in high school or (university)?

im a freshman in college

4. what is your school’s grading system look like? do you like it? what problems do you have with it, if any?

so my university has a standard letter grade system for most classes and pass/fail for some courses that don’t really need a grade. i do like it because it’s what i’m used to, however, a lot of times having a letter grade system can be more stressful because it makes you feel like anything but some kind of A is mediocre and not good enough, when in reality, a 75% or above is better than average.

5. if you are in high school do you plan on going to university or college? if you are in college do you plan on finishing and if you do, do you plan on continuing on to other graduate or professional schools?

i plan on going to veterinary school after i finish my undergraduate degree! if i end up changing my major to my second choice(music education is my second choice), then of course I won’t be going to vet school.

6. if you are high school what do you plan to study in college, if you plan to go. if not, what do you plan on doing after high school? if you are in college what is your major? do you plan on changing it?

i am currently studying biochemistry and molecular biology and i have a minor in music! i dont plan on changing it at this point, but if i do, i’d change it to music education.

7. why are you picking or why did you pick what you are currently studying?

i want to go to vet school, and biochemistry has almost all the requirements for vet school admissions. also, i find it interesting

8. do you go/plan to go to community college, technical college, or a four-year institution? how did you make your decision, or how do you plan to?

i am at a 4 year university, and i went here because it fits what i want to do

9. what factors did you consider when picking a college, or what factors do you plan on considering?

the college I chose is in my hometown, which is probably one of the deciding factors(i really wanted to be close to home). the campus is very pretty and small as well, and i really wanted to go to a small college. i could have potentially gone to The Ohio State University because i’m about 20 minutes away, but the camous is so big and i know i would have hated it. the school also has a good music program, soi can continue playing even though it isn’t my major

10. what is your favorite pencil?

i love my muji mechanical pencil and also the papermate clearpoint!

11. what are your top three favorite pens?

pilot juice, muji gel pens, and sharpie pens

12. do you prefer wide-ruled paper, college-ruled, dot-grid, or graph paper?

college ruled is my favorite for class notes, graph paper for revised/nice notes/math work, and blank for planning generally

13. do you use different types of paper for different courses or classes?

i use college ruled for almost everything except math homework(i use graph)

14. do you use a backpack/bag for school or college and what kind is it? why did you choose it? price, quality, function, design?

i use a backpack, i have no idea what brand it is, but its the perfect size for everything i need to take to classes and its also really pretty(it has a black background with flowers on it)

15. what is your favorite outfit to go to class in and why?

i generally wear leggings and a sweatshirt/sweater just because they’re comfy and also look cute! if its warm enough, i wear flip flops but if not, i wear my vans or converse.

16. what is something you always have to have in your backpack or bag?

usually my laptop and pencil case

17. what is your least favorite subject and why?

math!!!!!!! will always hate. guarunteed.

18. have you ever gone to tutoring, if so, how has it helped your academic endeavors?

i have not

19. have you ever seeked academic counseling, if so has it helped you?

i haven’t

20. has your mental health ever suffered during high school or college, and what did you do to cope?

holy shit yes. i suffer from depression and anxiety(depression for almost a year and anxiety for 4 years). i could make a whole post about this but in general, i make sure i give myself time to relax. it can be so so hard to take care of yourself when you suffer with things like this, so even if you can barely get out of bed, try to make time to do things that make you happy. for me, it’s drawing, netflix, and video games.

21. do you like to listen to music when studying? if so, what genre, if you have a playlist share it!

i do listen to music! i just listen to music i like, which is rock/pop punk/alt rock/etc. (here’s one of my playlists!: https://open.spotify.com/user/helenakitten14/playlist/4R6ZGIlz8K5UDEk80cVfV5?si=cXK0z3HTRUKCQSKx9F8tNA )

22. do you prefer to study at a library or at home at your desk?

depends what i’m working on and how much i have to do. if i feel like i have to be totally focused, i go to the library, but if i have some time to take breaks and get distracted, i just stay in my room. I also hate going to the library on my own, so sometimes i stay in my room anyway if no one can come with.

23. what are your top three items you keep on your desk?

my lamp, my laptop, and whatever drink i’m drinking while working( i always have a drink so i avoid snacking lol)

24. do you feel as if you are more productive during the day or in the evenings?

evenings for sure

25. if you exercise, do you feel as if it affects your productivity and if so how?

i do marching band which is usually my exercise, but i don’t work out. working out just exhausts me and i don’t have energy to begin with(ye ye depression)

26. do you participate in any extracurriculars and if so how do you manage your time?

marching band and wind ensemble! i’m also joing KKPsi, which is an honorary fraternity for music service! i am not great at time management, however, i plan out everything to hold myself accountable

27. do you use a bullet journal, a planner, or to-do lists? do you use a combination of all three?

i use a combo of all three! i’ve been bullet journalling a lot recently, but i also use a planner during busy weeks when i dont have time to make a spread and i make to do lists for weekends

28. do you have a note-taking style?

nothing specific

29. do you have a color-coding system?

i like to make every different topic/spread a different color. also, when i make notes, i like to highlight vocab words.

30. what do you believe is one of the most overrated studyblr trends?

100 days of productivity. its impossible to be completely productive for 100 days straight. shit happens, and i understand the purpose of the 100 days challenge, but i think it also takes a toll on you mentally.

31. what are your career goals, how do you plan to reach them?

i want to be a veterinarian or someone that works with animals somehow. i hope to go to vet school and then have my own practice or join another practice.

32. do you use a laptop? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model would you like?

i use a macbook air! it is nice because it is easy to transport, but occasionally the functionality can be questionable(storage space is always my issue). i do reccommend it, though. if i could get a new laptop, i’d probably get a macbook pro.

33. do you use a tablet? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model are you interested in?

i don’t, but i think having an iPad would be nice!

34. if you post pictures to tumblr, do you use a camera or your phone, if so, what is the model?

i use my iPhone 6s

35. 0.5, 0.7, or 0.9 pencil lead?

usually .5 or .7

36. 0.5, 0.7, 0.9, or 1.0 pens?

37. how many hours a day do you spend studying? are your hours consistent daily or do they differ depending on assignments and exams?

i tend to study for a majority of the day most days, but it always differs. i have no set timetable

38. how many courses do you take? what are they?

so i am in 8 courses right now. Biology, Gen Chem, Bio Lab, Gen Chem Lab, Calculus I, The History of rock n roll, Wind Ensemble, and Marching band.

39. how long until you graduate? in credit hours, semesters, or years?

i still have 3.5 years left of college, which is 7 semesters

40. how did you find the studyblr community?

honestly i dont remember, it was so long ago

41. how did the studyblr community impact you?

i was in a big funk my sophomore year of high school. i had no motivation, i hated learning, i hated everything tbh. but them i found this community and it inspired me and showed me that studying can be fun and pretty while also being a learning experience!

42. do you go to school in the day or night?

day!

43. what is something you are too afraid to be involved in at school or college and why?

in high school, i was very afraid to get involved with a lot of things, such as theatre and some other clubs just because of anxiety.

44. do you type or write your notes?

i write them mostly, but my biology professor talks really fast so i usually type notes for his class

45. what do you do on your breaks from studying?

netflix, eat, play video games, probably other stuff i’m forgetting

46. how do you study for math exams?

honestly i just look through lecture notes and hope for the best. occasionally i do practice problems but not often

47. do you rewrite your notes at home after class, or do you just use the ones you have already? why?

i rewrite them because it helps me memorize things

48. what are your least favorite courses and why?

math of any kind! i also hate biology right now just because my professor sucks

49. are you in a relationship while in school? if so, why? if not, why?

i recently got out of a relationship, but im open to being in a relationship with someone

50. if you are in a relationship, how do you manage that along with your studies?

it was very hard to manage it honestly, but i did what i could to make time, even if it was only just having a meal together.

51. if you aren’t in a relationship, do you plan on entering one while still in school? explain.

if i find the right person, yea! being in relationsips is great, especially because you have a companion to help you when you’re struggling

52. do you worry about GPA, if so why, if not why?

oh my god yes i do. i have to have a certain GPA to keep my scholarship money and to stay in the honors program, plus i just want to do well.

53. did you or do you plan to take the SAT or ACT, how did you feel about the exams? did you study for them? have you taken it more than once?

i did take both the SAT and ACT. i did well on each, but the SAT was a lot harder for me. I got a 1220(i think) on the SAT and a 31 on the ACT. i took the ACT twice

54. did you or do you plan to take the GRE, LSAT, PCAT, MCAT, DAT (or any other grad exam)? how did it go? how are you or how did you study for it? have you taken it more than once?

i’m going to take the MCAT

55. do you or did you take AP classes is high school? how do you feel about how they prepared you for college? did your school require you to take the exam?

yes i did take AP classes! i took 9 total, and they overall did help me learn how to manage time better as well as how to study. we weren’t required to take the exams, but i always did

56. do you or did you do the IB program in high school? can you explain it more for those who are unfamiliar with it?

i did not, however the IB program is basically an intensive high school honors program that is very writing intensive. its like AP on steroids

57. do your or did you take dual-enrollment classes? how did you feel about how they prepared you for college?

i didnt but i wish i did!

58. how many colleges or universities did you apply to or not? and why?

i applied to 5 colleges. i already knew where i wanted to go, but i wanted to be safe just in case i didnt get in, so i applied to the 5 i was most interested in. I also wanted to see if any other schools would give me a lot more financial aid.

59. how did you make friends in college or high school?

through band! in both situations

60. has your friend group stayed the same throughout your time in school?

yes actually! i’m still very close to all my high school friends and a few of them go to my college as well. of course i’ve met new people but i. also still have the same friends

61. how does your friend group influence your goals?

we all have our own goals, we just encourage each other and act as an outlet for stress

62. what is your favorite thing to learn about in your free time?

music and current events

63. what is your favorite study snack?

i like to eat carrots/pretzels with hummus or oreos

64. what is one thing that can completely make you stop studying?

being depressed or tired

65. are there days during the week that you keep completely free from studying?

yes. wednesdays are my hell days class-wise, so i refrain from doing work on those days after my classes are over

66. what do you do when you have to hustle? where do you go?

i dont know what this means

67. are your parents or family supportive of your goals? if so how does this affect you?

they’re very supportive!

68. do you like to read? and do you ever have any free time to do so?

i really love reading but i never have time

69. do you wear a watch? why or why not? what kind?

nope, they annoy me

70. do you like to drink coffee or tea when working? decaf? what do you add to it? why do you like to drink coffee or tea?

coffee with full caffeine! i always add creamer, and i drink it because it wakes me up

71. how do you organize your notes after your finish writing them?

i have notebooks for every class and binders as well

72. what do you do with your notes after the year or semester is over?

i either recycle them if they won’t be necessary anymore or i keep them in my closet

73. what are your favorite studyblrs?

studyign, emmestudies, and a lot more that i can’t think of

74. what are your favorite studygrams?

same as above except add on focusign and revisign!

75. what is the biggest impact a teacher or a professor has had on you?

my band director was very impactful on my life just because he was my teacher for 5 years, so we had a good relationship

76. what is the biggest impact that a class has had on you?

my film and lit class had a massive impact on me. it made me think in very different ways

77. who is your inspiration and who do you look up to academic wise and career wise?

my dad inspires me a lot because he worked so hard to find a career he loved and kept going until he got there. he’s also endlessly supportive of me

thats it! this took me so long hahaha anyway. thanks for reading!

#student #studying #studyblr #questions #study questions #q and a #study notes #my post #mine

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cocosnoodle · 8 years ago

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hi, i'm pretty new to snakes!! whhat's wobble?? would you mind explaining some of the basics of snakes to me? my sweetheart and i are planning on(hopefully!) getting a snake or two when we move in together. thank you so much for any consideration you give me!!

I’ve gotta leave my house in a little bit so i’ll see how fully i can answer this without overdoing it.

The infamous wobble is a neurological deficiency that is attached to certain visible genes in ball pythons. it makes the snake lose its ability to balance temporarily, which while some people *claim* its not obvious, its gotta be stressful. especially because stress levels tend to make the wobble symptoms worse. if a gene is said to have a wobble, please avoid buying from a breeder or pet store. if you see a wobble gene animal in a rescue, theres no harm in picking one up there because while there is no seller getting your money, you would be offering this individual a better life with you.

That said, if you’re asking me for snake basics i DO NOT recommend any wobble gene snakes. i know it includes spider ball pythons and champagne ball pythons, possibly others. i do not recommend ball pythons at all for you to be honest, because you are asking me for basics. ball pythons are fussy snakes, and while its true they rather hide than bite, they go off feed real easy which can be stressful for everyone. they also require a little more humidity maintenance than some other snakes.

im going to be honest with you, i ONLY have personal experience with a columbian red tail boa, a dwarf red tail boa, a juvenile burmese python, a juvenile reticulated python, several ball pythons, and a hognose snake. only one of which do i recommend for someone who i would not recommend a ball python. the hognose. i would be partial to the dwarf red tail boa for you, however they can stay nippy a bit longer past the initial stage where most snakes are just anxious around people because people look like predators to them, until they get used to handling. doesnt hurt, but if it were any of the big girls it would hurt.

Even then some people are opposed to hognose snakes as beginners because hognoses bluff. they pose at you and try to scare you when you want to go in their enclosure to take them out. however, once they’re out they’re usually ok. i’ve only heard of 1 instance where a hognose would continue to bluff while outside the enclosure, and that one would usually be fine after a few moments of realizing he’s safe. if thats gonna make you nervous, i recommend a kingsnake or corn snake.

OKAY so now real basics. you can use aquarium tanks with a screen lid OR a pvc tank enclosure, which is kinda like plastic. i’ve seen some people VERY successful with large storage tubs. the best way to go with size is the tank length should be equal to or very close to (or even larger) than the expected length of your snake. this will grant it room to stretch out fully and have space to explore, they can fold up nicely when they want to hide too so dont worry about that guideline being too small.

hiding is important. big enclosure=healthy. big empty enclosure=stressed out. you NEED to provide ample amount of hiding items, most importantly is the hide box. like a little cave inside the tank that they can fit into when they want to be away from the world. whcih is a lot of the time. i find that burrowing snakes would much rather burrow and create their own hiding spots, but my hognose still uses the hide i bought for her.

which goes to substrate. bedding. this will depend on your snake species and style of enclosure. paper towel is a good quarantine bedding, for monitoring a snake’s health when it gets sick or hurt. otherwise, most snakes prefer aspen bedding (be wary of sawdust) or coconut husk, in different forms.

i gotta get going now but for heat, use a heat mat and GET A THERMOSTAT, you can kill a snake if you dont have a thermostat

#anon

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/

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pbandjesse · 4 years ago

Text

Today was a rainy, but pretty good, day. I slept a little better last night. Even if falling asleep hasnt been going well. I woke up in a good mood. James had put air in the tires and gas in the car. I gave him lots of hugs and headed out.

There are to many cars on the road. But it was fine. I had a good ride in. And honestly it was just a nice morning.

Some parts were quiet. It was rainy. I spent a lot of time today just enjoying my own company. When I first got there we were all sitting on the porch. I told them all about my powerpoint project and they thought I was very silly but excited that I was excited.

I had some free time and some energy this morning though. So I went and changed into my rain boots, which have finally broken and absolutely need to be replaced now, and went down to homestead. Heather had asked the specialty teachers to work on cleaning that since we had some time in the afternoon. But I had time then so off I went.

I listened to my podcast and I cleaned for about an hour and a half. It was kind of rainy and damp all day but it was hella gross down there. Everything was covered in mud. There was so much stuff just around. It was terrible. I started with picking up stuff off the ground. I didnt get the stuff under the picnic tables because honestly, it was to hard to bend that much. But I also had some of the campers help me collect all the containers and tubs down there so I could hose them off. Everything was going to go into storage and they couldnt go in covered in mud. But then everything was wet from the hose and I was very hot. Break time.

I went and sat at arts and crafts for a few minutes. Caught my breath. Enjoyed the hammock. Enjoyed the rain sounds. And then went down to the office to check in with Heather. She was super surprised that I had been cleaning down there alone. Acted all proud of me. And my stupid money brain was like "Praise???" so of course I went back later in the day and kept cleaning and wiping things off and putting things in totes. Cj is going to come back on thursday and help sort but in the mean time at least they would be able to get everything away from the muddy area.

Heather told me that after lunch I should go help with sandwiches. But I had time. So I went and finished setting up in art. Laid around. Had my lunch a little early.

And went to figure out making sandwiches. But that went all wrong because apparently there was a change of plans, but no one told me. I made like 20 sandwiches when Elizabeth came in and was like. The fridge broke and we arent allowed to use this food anymore. Even though it was in a cooler that was still cold. Which seems silly to me but food rules are important. I just feel bad that I wasted the bread. And another change of plans was that I was supposed to be running trading post again. But I had asked! A few times! And was told no, youre doing sandwiches. So I was all confused. And a little unsettled. Im still unsettled honestly. I hate doing things wrong. I hate being wasteful. Doesnt feel good.

But I headed up to trading post and it went just fine. It was healthy day and no one told me that so I had to get that stuff but everyone was quick to help me set it up.

It took a little longer today, I dont know why but we were having trouble getting the kids up and in line. But it was done and I went to art to wait for my group.

This group was tough. I knew that. Because they were the little ones and there were 13 of them. But it went well all things considered. We ran a little over time. And James, their counselor, was obviously stressed. But the kids were so excited that they made their little quilt square. But because of us running late I didnt get a picture. Ah well. It was still a lot of fun.

Half their kids wanted to use the bathroom and then there was an early pick up and then their program space changed and it was a whole ordeal. I was barefoot but I told James I would take half his group to their next program. So I threw on some shoes and walked them down to the office. Where James met us and took over.

I headed back to art and cleaned everything up. Took a small break. Okay a little bit longer. Wrapped in my blanket in my hammock. It was great.

Im a little sad thinking about it only because Maryland is moving into phase three and I dont know what my job situation is going to look like going forward. Its hard. Im scared all the time, but being out at camp at least feels safe. I dont think I will feel safe in another job yet. And like none of my museums are going to open for field trips. And so its like. Fall at camp was already tentative. It was already like. Unsure. But Alexi is hoping it will at least be some time every week. And Im trying to stay positive but its hard and Im scared about what the fall will bring with covid and with the cold. I am going to try to get into my art more. Try to actually sell things? Well see what happens I guess.

The rest of the afternoon was cleaning down at Homestead and then hanging out with the kids at the office until 5 when I headed out.

I drove to Hunt Valley and went to the Marshals I discovered there. I didnt realize that the shopping center had a back side. And I had excellent luck. I finally found a long sleeve black shirt. To replace my lost one. And I got some gum and a pretty makeup and a night time lotion. The cashier was very sweet. But I was starving and had to go find some dinner.

I ended up going to wawa and ate a hoagie in my car. Just living my best life. I had a long and strange drive home. I got a light on my car that I had never seen before. But I looked it up and it seems like its not a big deal. It only flashed at me two different times and didnt stay on so its probably okay but Ill keep an eye on it.

I got back here and was annoyed to find a cop in the alley. But Mr Will was also outside and it was nice to see him. He got one of those two screen phones, very fancy. He showed me how to look for jobs on facebook market place. Which I didnt need him to do but I enjoy him and his dad energy so I let him show me. He's great. I was also glad to see he was actually wearing a mask. I worry about him!!

I got in here and it was basically 7. I put stuff away and did the dishes. I got a piece of the cookies and cream cheese cake James made and played animal crossing. I cant believe its september but that brings changes to the island! New bugs and fish! I caught a soft shelled turtle! I played until 8 and then took a lovely long bath.

And now I am just hanging out. I am tired and hoping I fall asleep easier tonight. I hope you all have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow!

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

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themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The cluttered lives of middle-class Americans

Shares 625 Long-time readers are familiar with my decade-long war on Stuff. I was raised in a cluttered home. From a young age, I was a collector. (Some might even say a hoarder!) After Kris and I got married, I began to acquire adult-level quantities of Stuff. When we moved to a larger house, I found ways to acquire even more Stuff. I owned thousands of books, thousands of comic books, hundreds of compact discs, and scads of other crap. Eventually, Id had enough. A decade ago, I began the s-l-o-w process of de-cluttering. While I still bring new Stuff into the house Kim would tell you I bring too much Stuff home Im not nearly so acquisitive as I used to be. In fact, for the past decade Ive purged far more than Ive acquired. And that process continues, week by week, month by month, year by year. The Cluttered Lives of the American Middle Class Turns out, Im not the only one fighting this battle. Many Americans struggle with clutter. This is one reason for the popularity of the simplicity movement. When I visit my friends who live in tiny houses, they rejoice at the lack of Stuff in their lives. And its why books like Marie Kondos The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up become popular bestsellers. (That book is great, by the way. Heres my review from my personal site.) A while ago, I stumbled on a video that documents the work of a group of anthropologists from UCLA. These researchers visited the homes of 32 typical American families. They wanted to look at how people interacted with their environments, at how they used space. They also wanted to look at how dual-income, middle-class families related to their material possessions. They systematically documented the Stuff people own, where they keep it, and how they use it. This team produced a book called Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century, which records their findings. They also produced this twenty-minute video that provides an overview of the results: [embedded content] Contemporary U.S. households have more possessions per household than any society in global history, says Jeanne E. Arnold. Thats both shocking and unsurprising all at once. Her colleague Anthony Graesch notes that our homes reflect this material abundance. Hyper-consumerism is evident in many spaces, he says, like garages, corners of home offices, and even sometimes in the corners of living rooms and bedrooms. Graesch continues: We have lots of Stuff. We have many mechanisms by which we accumulate possessions in our home, but we have few rituals or mechanisms or processes for unloading these objects, for getting rid of them. All of this stuff causes stress. It carries very real physical and emotional tolls. One interesting finding? Clutter bothers women more than men. This might be because the responsibility for cleaning the clutter generally falls to women. The United States has 3.1% of the worlds children but consumes 40% of the worlds toys, notes Arnold. In households with children or, in my case, puppies the toys can take over the home. Childrens toys and objects spill out of their bedrooms into living areas, kitchens, and bathrooms. The push to become consumers, to value Stuff, starts at an early age. Why do modern kids have so many toys? It may be because there are so many playthings available so cheaply. Theres more Stuff available for kids than there was fifty years ago, and that Stuff costs less. Plus, priorities seem to have shifted. Modern parents see spending on kids as a priority; parents fifty years ago did not. Food as Clutter Its not just kids, of course. Adults have their own brand of clutter. For example, many families are guilty of stockpiling. They buy food in bulk, then stack their cupboards and fridges and pantries and garages to the gills. Naturally, most of these are convenience foods. (Fresh food wouldnt keep if bought in bulk like this.) Researcher Elinor Ochs observes, If you brought someone from Rome or from a town in Sweden, and you showed them the size of the refrigerator in the kitchen, and then walked them to the garage and they saw the size of the refrigerator in the garage, they would be pretty astonished. The refrigerator, then, becomes something to think about culturally. Why do we have these big refrigerators? And what does that say about food in our society? Note: This was something that Kim and I thought about a lot on our RV trip across the U.S. During our fifteen months on the road, we had limited space for food storage. There was a small-ish frige in the motorhome and a few cabinets for non-perishables. At home, we tend to buy food for a week (or more) at a time. And were guilty of stockpiling some stuff too. (Dont ask me how much ketchup I have in the cupboard!) On the road, this was fundamentally impossible. We bought only what we needed for the immediate future. This forced us to be better at meal planning, and it made us much more aware of the kinds of foods we were buying. The easy availability of convenience foods has some interesting effects on how families relate to each other. Longer ago, the household sat down to eat the same thing at the same time. Thats not true anymore. Nowadays, each person tends to eat what they want, when they want. Families have bought into the idea that use of these foods will somehow save time, Graesch says. But researchers have found that families only save about twelve minutes per meal when they use convenience foods. And at what cost? Cluttered Space During their research, the UCLA anthropologists looked at how families used the space in their homes. Unsurprisingly (to me), the kitchen tends to be the hub, the command center of the household. Everything transpires in kitchens, Graesch says. Activities are organized, schedules are co-ordinated, plans are made for the next day, meals are cooked, kids are doing homework in kitchen spaces. Its very, very intensively used. A lot of the material culture in kitchens speaks to this logistical center in everyday family lives. The refrigerator door is often a center for family artifacts. Its a place for family history and culture and nostalgia. But, says Arnold, There seems to be a kind of a correlation between how much Stuff is on the refrigerator panel door and how much stuff is in the broader home. Bathrooms, too, can become important places to plan and prepare for the day. Theyre staging areas where we get ready to go out into the world. With all of the chaos in other parts of the home, many parents work hard to make the master bedroom a sort of quiet retreat, a space isolated from the rest of the house. People value their master bedrooms so much, in fact, that theyll spend to remodel them into the oasis they desire instead of funneling their funds to remove actual bottlenecks (like bathrooms) or to optimize the spaces where the family spends most of its time. In some ways, the master bedroom has become a symbolic space. Its a place of refuge. The Bottom Line Is clutter a uniquely American problem? I dont know. I doubt it. But I also suspect that because of our sheer material abundance, more of us struggle with clutter than folks in other countries. (Id love to hear anecdotes or see stats on this subject, actually. Anyone have those?) However, I do know that it this is another area where we can take charge of our lives. As I purge Stuff from my life, I gain a greater sense of satisfaction. I feel like Im in more control of my environment and myself. Do you struggle with clutter? Is your home packed to the gills with Stuff? What steps have you taken to get rid of some of this crap? Or have you? (Maybe it doesnt bother you?) Shares 625 https://www.getrichslowly.org/cluttered-lives/

0 notes

themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The cluttered lives of middle-class Americans

Shares 578 Long-time readers are familiar with my decade-long war on Stuff. I was raised in a cluttered home. From a young age, I was a collector. (Some might even say a hoarder!) After Kris and I got married, I began to acquire adult-level quantities of Stuff. When we moved to a larger house, I found ways to acquire even more Stuff. I owned thousands of books, thousands of comic books, hundreds of compact discs, and scads of other crap. Eventually, Id had enough. A decade ago, I began the s-l-o-w process of de-cluttering. While I still bring new Stuff into the house Kim would tell you I bring too much Stuff home Im not nearly so acquisitive as I used to be. In fact, for the past decade Ive purged far more than Ive acquired. And that process continues, week by week, month by month, year by year. The Cluttered Lives of the American Middle Class Turns out, Im not the only one fighting this battle. Many Americans struggle with clutter. This is one reason for the popularity of the simplicity movement. When I visit my friends who live in tiny houses, they rejoice at the lack of Stuff in their lives. And its why books like Marie Kondos The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up become popular bestsellers. (That book is great, by the way. Heres my review from my personal site.) A while ago, I stumbled on a video that documents the work of a group of anthropologists from UCLA. These researchers visited the homes of 32 typical American families. They wanted to look at how people interacted with their environments, at how they used space. They also wanted to look at how dual-income, middle-class families related to their material possessions. They systematically documented the Stuff people own, where they keep it, and how they use it. This team produced a book called Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century, which records their findings. They also produced this twenty-minute video that provides an overview of the results: [embedded content] Contemporary U.S. households have more possessions per household than any society in global history, says Jeanne E. Arnold. Thats both shocking and unsurprising all at once. Her colleague Anthony Graesch notes that our homes reflect this material abundance. Hyper-consumerism is evident in many spaces, he says, like garages, corners of home offices, and even sometimes in the corners of living rooms and bedrooms. Graesch continues: We have lots of Stuff. We have many mechanisms by which we accumulate possessions in our home, but we have few rituals or mechanisms or processes for unloading these objects, for getting rid of them. All of this stuff causes stress. It carries very real physical and emotional tolls. One interesting finding? Clutter bothers women more than men. This might be because the responsibility for cleaning the clutter generally falls to women. The United States has 3.1% of the worlds children but consumes 40% of the worlds toys, notes Arnold. In households with children or, in my case, puppies the toys can take over the home. Childrens toys and objects spill out of their bedrooms into living areas, kitchens, and bathrooms. The push to become consumers, to value Stuff, starts at an early age. Why do modern kids have so many toys? It may be because there are so many playthings available so cheaply. Theres more Stuff available for kids than there was fifty years ago, and that Stuff costs less. Plus, priorities seem to have shifted. Modern parents see spending on kids as a priority; parents fifty years ago did not. Food as Clutter Its not just kids, of course. Adults have their own brand of clutter. For example, many families are guilty of stockpiling. They buy food in bulk, then stack their cupboards and fridges and pantries and garages to the gills. Naturally, most of these are convenience foods. (Fresh food wouldnt keep if bought in bulk like this.) Researcher Elinor Ochs observes, If you brought someone from Rome or from a town in Sweden, and you showed them the size of the refrigerator in the kitchen, and then walked them to the garage and they saw the size of the refrigerator in the garage, they would be pretty astonished. The refrigerator, then, becomes something to think about culturally. Why do we have these big refrigerators? And what does that say about food in our society? Note: This was something that Kim and I thought about a lot on our RV trip across the U.S. During our fifteen months on the road, we had limited space for food storage. There was a small-ish frige in the motorhome and a few cabinets for non-perishables. At home, we tend to buy food for a week (or more) at a time. And were guilty of stockpiling some stuff too. (Dont ask me how much ketchup I have in the cupboard!) On the road, this was fundamentally impossible. We bought only what we needed for the immediate future. This forced us to be better at meal planning, and it made us much more aware of the kinds of foods we were buying. The easy availability of convenience foods has some interesting effects on how families relate to each other. Longer ago, the household sat down to eat the same thing at the same time. Thats not true anymore. Nowadays, each person tends to eat what they want, when they want. Families have bought into the idea that use of these foods will somehow save time, Graesch says. But researchers have found that families only save about twelve minutes per meal when they use convenience foods. And at what cost? Cluttered Space During their research, the UCLA anthropologists looked at how families used the space in their homes. Unsurprisingly (to me), the kitchen tends to be the hub, the command center of the household. Everything transpires in kitchens, Graesch says. Activities are organized, schedules are co-ordinated, plans are made for the next day, meals are cooked, kids are doing homework in kitchen spaces. Its very, very intensively used. A lot of the material culture in kitchens speaks to this logistical center in everyday family lives. The refrigerator door is often a center for family artifacts. Its a place for family history and culture and nostalgia. But, says Arnold, There seems to be a kind of a correlation between how much Stuff is on the refrigerator panel door and how much stuff is in the broader home. Bathrooms, too, can become important places to plan and prepare for the day. Theyre staging areas where we get ready to go out into the world. With all of the chaos in other parts of the home, many parents work hard to make the master bedroom a sort of quiet retreat, a space isolated from the rest of the house. People value their master bedrooms so much, in fact, that theyll spend to remodel them into the oasis they desire instead of funneling their funds to remove actual bottlenecks (like bathrooms) or to optimize the spaces where the family spends most of its time. In some ways, the master bedroom has become a symbolic space. Its a place of refuge. The Bottom Line Is clutter a uniquely American problem? I dont know. I doubt it. But I also suspect that because of our sheer material abundance, more of us struggle with clutter than folks in other countries. (Id love to hear anecdotes or see stats on this subject, actually. Anyone have those?) However, I do know that it this is another area where we can take charge of our lives. As I purge Stuff from my life, I gain a greater sense of satisfaction. I feel like Im in more control of my environment and myself. Do you struggle with clutter? Is your home packed to the gills with Stuff? What steps have you taken to get rid of some of this crap? Or have you? (Maybe it doesnt bother you?) Shares 578 https://www.getrichslowly.org/cluttered-lives/

0 notes

themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The cluttered lives of middle-class Americans

Long-time readers are familiar with my decade-long war on Stuff. I was raised in a cluttered home. From a young age, I was a collector. (Some might even say a hoarder!) After Kris and I got married, I began to acquire adult-level quantities of Stuff. When we moved to a larger house, I found ways to acquire even more Stuff. I owned thousands of books, thousands of comic books, hundreds of compact discs, and scads of other crap. Eventually, Id had enough. A decade ago, I began the s-l-o-w process of de-cluttering. While I still bring new Stuff into the house Kim would tell you I bring too much Stuff home Im not nearly so acquisitive as I used to be. In fact, for the past decade Ive purged far more than Ive acquired. And that process continues, week by week, month by month, year by year. The Cluttered Lives of the American Middle Class Turns out, Im not the only one fighting this battle. Many Americans struggle with clutter. This is one reason for the popularity of the simplicity movement. When I visit my friends who live in tiny houses, they rejoice at the lack of Stuff in their lives. And its why books like Marie Kondos The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up become popular bestsellers. (That book is great, by the way. Heres my review from my personal site.) A while ago, I stumbled on a video that documents the work of a group of anthropologists from UCLA. These researchers visited the homes of 32 typical American families. They wanted to look at how people interacted with their environments, at how they used space. They also wanted to look at how dual-income, middle-class families related to their material possessions. They systematically documented the Stuff people own, where they keep it, and how they use it. This team produced a book called Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century, which records their findings. They also produced this twenty-minute video that provides an overview of the results: [embedded content] Contemporary U.S. households have more possessions per household than any society in global history, says Jeanne E. Arnold. Thats both shocking and unsurprising all at once. Her colleague Anthony Graesch notes that our homes reflect this material abundance. Hyper-consumerism is evident in many spaces, he says, like garages, corners of home offices, and even sometimes in the corners of living rooms and bedrooms. Graesch continues: We have lots of Stuff. We have many mechanisms by which we accumulate possessions in our home, but we have few rituals or mechanisms or processes for unloading these objects, for getting rid of them. All of this stuff causes stress. It carries very real physical and emotional tolls. One interesting finding? Clutter bothers women more than men. This might be because the responsibility for cleaning the clutter generally falls to women. The United States has 3.1% of the worlds children but consumes 40% of the worlds toys, notes Arnold. In households with children or, in my case, puppies the toys can take over the home. Childrens toys and objects spill out of their bedrooms into living areas, kitchens, and bathrooms. The push to become consumers, to value Stuff, starts at an early age. Why do modern kids have so many toys? It may be because there are so many playthings available so cheaply. Theres more Stuff available for kids than there was fifty years ago, and that Stuff costs less. Plus, priorities seem to have shifted. Modern parents see spending on kids as a priority; parents fifty years ago did not. Food as Clutter Its not just kids, of course. Adults have their own brand of clutter. For example, many families are guilty of stockpiling. They buy food in bulk, then stack their cupboards and fridges and pantries and garages to the gills. Naturally, most of these are convenience foods. (Fresh food wouldnt keep if bought in bulk like this.) Researcher Elinor Ochs observes, If you brought someone from Rome or from a town in Sweden, and you showed them the size of the refrigerator in the kitchen, and then walked them to the garage and they saw the size of the refrigerator in the garage, they would be pretty astonished. The refrigerator, then, becomes something to think about culturally. Why do we have these big refrigerators? And what does that say about food in our society? Note: This was something that Kim and I thought about a lot on our RV trip across the U.S. During our fifteen months on the road, we had limited space for food storage. There was a small-ish frige in the motorhome and a few cabinets for non-perishables. At home, we tend to buy food for a week (or more) at a time. And were guilty of stockpiling some stuff too. (Dont ask me how much ketchup I have in the cupboard!) On the road, this was fundamentally impossible. We bought only what we needed for the immediate future. This forced us to be better at meal planning, and it made us much more aware of the kinds of foods we were buying. The easy availability of convenience foods has some interesting effects on how families relate to each other. Longer ago, the household sat down to eat the same thing at the same time. Thats not true anymore. Nowadays, each person tends to eat what they want, when they want. Families have bought into the idea that use of these foods will somehow save time, Graesch says. But researchers have found that families only save about twelve minutes per meal when they use convenience foods. And at what cost? Cluttered Space During their research, the UCLA anthropologists looked at how families used the space in their homes. Unsurprisingly (to me), the kitchen tends to be the hub, the command center of the household. Everything transpires in kitchens, Graesch says. Activities are organized, schedules are co-ordinated, plans are made for the next day, meals are cooked, kids are doing homework in kitchen spaces. Its very, very intensively used. A lot of the material culture in kitchens speaks to this logistical center in everyday family lives. The refrigerator door is often a center for family artifacts. Its a place for family history and culture and nostalgia. But, says Arnold, There seems to be a kind of a correlation between how much Stuff is on the refrigerator panel door and how much stuff is in the broader home. Bathrooms, too, can become important places to plan and prepare for the day. Theyre staging areas where we get ready to go out into the world. With all of the chaos in other parts of the home, many parents work hard to make the master bedroom a sort of quiet retreat, a space isolated from the rest of the house. People value their master bedrooms so much, in fact, that theyll spend to remodel them into the oasis they desire instead of funneling their funds to remove actual bottlenecks (like bathrooms) or to optimize the spaces where the family spends most of its time. In some ways, the master bedroom has become a symbolic space. Its a place of refuge. The Bottom Line Is clutter a uniquely American problem? I dont know. I doubt it. But I also suspect that because of our sheer material abundance, more of us struggle with clutter than folks in other countries. (Id love to hear anecdotes or see stats on this subject, actually. Anyone have those?) However, I do know that it this is another area where we can take charge of our lives. As I purge Stuff from my life, I gain a greater sense of satisfaction. I feel like Im in more control of my environment and myself. Do you struggle with clutter? Is your home packed to the gills with Stuff? What steps have you taken to get rid of some of this crap? Or have you? (Maybe it doesnt bother you?) https://www.getrichslowly.org/cluttered-lives/

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