#it is unfinished i never got to the climax

[forsaking-serenity]

ok so on request of op, here's the beast. the monster that haunts my dreams and thoughts. i am frankenstein and this is my half baked creation (an unfinished thought essay on avengers endgame):

There are 6 Infinity Stones, 6 original Avengers and 6 children of Thanos. That’s one too many for it to be a coincidence. Not only that, but there is also the fact each of the original Avengers represent an Infinity Stone so purely it’s uncanny.

They named the movie Avengers Endgame, so let’s make it an actual endgame. In the chess strategy, you sacrifice your important pieces so the king can make the final blow and end the game.

Meaning that I probably won’t have a way to implement something similar to the final battle in the movie, no matter how cool it was. It just isn’t logical, especially when I set out to fix the time travel mess. And I understand the need for actual character deaths in such a big movie/story, but the death of Tony Stark made absolutely zero sense in correlation to the movie. We just saw him happy after like 15 years of struggling, he had a four-year-old daughter. Had he stayed alive it would’ve been the ultimate fuck you parallel to Thanos, he would’ve gone and done exactly what Thanos wanted to do himself “Restore balance to the universe,” whilst also being a father himself and actually raising the child.

Unlike Thanos who kidnapped his so-called children, whilst killing the rest of their planet making them the last survivors of their race in the process. Made them fight each other and when one lost, he removed a part of her body with a machine. Yeah, that sounds like great parenting, but I digress.

So, the plot of Avengers Endgame is set in motion by a RAT hitting a button, yeah no, not in my world. I’m sorry Scott, but you’ll be stuck in the quantum realm for the entirety of this. Then again you'll get out of it a lot quicker than in the movie, so you win some you lose some.

Instead my plot is moved forward by the fact that Tony simply doesn’t accept a world where Morgan doesn’t know her older brothers Harley and Peter. Oh, before I forget Helen Cho and Darcy Lewis survived the Snap, but Jane Foster and Erik Selvig didn’t.

1. Space —> Thor & Ebony Maw

2. Time —> Steve & Corvus Glaive

3. Soul —> Natasha & Gamora

4. Mind —> Tony & Nebula

5. Power —> Bruce/Hulk & Cull Obsidian

6. Reality —> Clint & Proxima Midnight

Thanos’ plan does not make sense, cutting all of life in half so the other remaining half can thrive. The last time there were half as many people on our planet as there are now was back in 1970.

In the past 50 years our population has doubled itself, so assuming that we would keep reproducing at the same rate if not faster, because everytime after a big tragedy on Earth without fail there will be a population boom.

Look at ww2 or the bubonic plague. So, when Dr. Strange asked Thanos what he was gonna do after he was done, he shouldn’t have said, “I finally rest... and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe”. Because in 50 years tops he’d have to use the Stones again and that’s only talking about Earth, not even the rest of the Galaxy. So it doesn’t make any sense why he destroyed his only means of accomplishing his goals.

What I think that his plan instead should’ve been was that he’d give 1 Stone to each of his children, who would take them to the ends of the galaxy to guard until the time came to use them again. Of course he didn’t account for Gamora and Nebula betraying him.

However, during the course of Infinity War all of Thanos’ children except for Nebula die. Gamora, bless that wonderful woman, died for the Soul Stone. Ebony Maw was killed by Iron Man and Spider-Man to save Dr. Strange. Cull Obsidian was killed by Bruce Banner in the Hulkbuster armour. Proxima Midnight was killed by the Scarlet Witch to save the Black Widow and General Okoye. Corvus Glaive was killed by Vision when he tried to take the Mind Stone in princess Shuri’s lab.

But honestly we could just ignore that fact, because in the end Thanos succeeded. So, their deaths are inconsequential and could be reversed for the purposes of better storytelling.

Now, there are a few more plot holes I’d like to point out whilst I’ve got your attention:

Don’t you think that it’s weird that Thor doesn’t know the Guardians of the Galaxy or at the very least Gamora, you know, daughter of Thanos (albeit kidnapped).

In Avengers: Age of Ultron he literally says, “I have no choice. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That’s no coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all these pieces are in position...”.

Proving to us that he knows of what has happened in Xandar. Because at that point in time Dr. Strange wouldn’t have happened yet, as that happened in 2016 and Age of Ultron in 2015. So, the Time Stone is still safe in the Kamar Taj with the Ancient One. And the Soul Stone is on Vormir and Gamora is literally the only being in the entire Galaxy that has that information.

Like I mentioned Age of Ultron happens in 2015, that means that Thor has personally been involved with three of the sightings of the Stones, so the fourth one has to be the Power Stone. So, Thor mentions four Stones but both Steve and Tony don’t realize they only know of three? I call bs, sure maybe Steve wouldn’t realize it, but you’d think that Tony does.

The man is a literal genius, who built a miniaturized arc reactor in a cave with a bunch of scraps, he’s created multiple functional AI, he created a new element on an off Tuesday like it was nothing, whilst suffering from heavy metal poisoning.

The villains in Spider-Man: far from home are literally a bunch of people who felt personally slighted by the man, because he is more academically accomplished. Oh and did I mention that he was dead in the movie?

Then again all of the Iron Man movies have that exact same type of villain, except for Ivan Vanko his father felt personally slighted by Howard Stark. So, he thought, “I gotta continue the only thing our family is known for. Attack a Stark,” because yeah that’s a great idea.

Anyway, new plothole, did anyone ever think to ask Loki where got the scepter? Or what happened during his time in the void?

We could easily retcon it and say his eyes are blue when he comes through the portal. The same kind of blue as Clint Barton’s and Dr. Erik Selvig’s eyes. This would insinuate that Loki was mind controlled as well. His eyes would, in fact, stay blue throughout the entirety of the movie up until the Hulk smashed Loki in the Stark Tower penthouse. Afterwards his eyes return to their normal green colour.

But besides that, his whole plan sucked, for someone who’s made out to be this incredibly sly and cunning trickster, he sure don’t got the skills to pull off a surprise attack. Honestly what were these people, especially Thor who grew up with the man, thinking when they were fighting him?

Then again, no one questioned why the scepter stayed on Earth, but the tesseract had to go to Asgard. Like trading in one extremely dangerous alien artefact housing an Infinity Stone for another extremely dangerous alien artefact housing an Infinity Stone? Maybe, a not so great move on Thor’s part. Seems kind of counterintuitive, because why would he make such a big fuss about the tesseract coming to Asgard, but then completely disregard the scepter.

Speaking of the scepter, onto plothole number three, why did the scepter not work on Tony? Was it just coincidence because Loki hits the arc reactor? Or was it more?

Because you see, the element powering the arc reactor is based on the tesseract, which houses the Space Stone an Infinity Stone. And the scepter houses the Mind Stone, another one of the Infinity Stones.

Does one or at least something with the same properties as one cancel one of the other Stones out?

Because later in Age of Ultron, when Wanda uses her powers on him they do work and she got her powers from the Mind Stone. This is after he removed the arc reactor in 2013 at the end of Iron Man 3. And as if that isn’t enough, Tony himself writes it off as the scepter giving him the vision.

So, with that being said, Starkium is an element based on the tesseract, which houses the Space stone. It is also capable of throwing off the working of the scepter, which houses another Infinity Stone, the Mind Stone to be precise. What if, for each of the stones there is an element based on one of the other stones that cancels one another out.

• Space over Mind

• Mind over Soul

• Soul over Power

• Power over Reality

• Reality over Time

• Time over Space

(Is this of any value towards the plot? No. Then why would it matter? Well my brain wouldn’t let it go, so deal with it)

After the Snap, maybe before I don’t know yet, the remaining Avengers realize this. And with the remaining Avengers I mean Tony Stark. Tony Stark figures it out as per usual, once he’s back from his impromptu space vacation of course.

Because exhaustion or not, he’s got shit to do. And seeing as he’s the only one with working brain cells and occasionally, when given incentive uses them. Because, I flat out refuse to believe that Tony gave up after his kid just died in his arms.

So, he and Nebula come up with a plan, he sure as hell isn’t gonna let a genocidal grape with a bunch of colourful rocks win without so much as a rematch.

Remember earlier when I said, “So, their deaths are inconsequential and could be reversed for the purposes of better storytelling.”?

Yes? Great, so here the Black Order doesn’t die, except for Gamora who does die for the Soul Stone, but that can be reversed. If the person who snaps thinks of just the right thing. So, everything does go according to plan, for Thanos.

Sort of, he sends all of his children to guard their Stones. But he has two left over, the Soul Stone and the Mind Stone for Gamora and Nebula respectively. But seeing as Gamora died and Nebula betrayed him, he is coming a few hands short.

That’s where Nebula comes in, she goes to the Garden alone, to realign herself with Thanos. Saying she was making sure her sister didn’t do anything to stupid during her time with the Guardians and when she learned of her death she wasn’t thinking clearly. Struck with grief she attacks him on Titan. (I don’t know, okay, I haven’t worked out all of the kinks yet.) Delighted by this revelation Thanos trusts her with the Mind Stone and he’ll just guard the Soul Stone himself.

Unbeknownst to him though, Nebula leads the Avengers to him and after she’s gotten the Mind Stone, she sends in the Avengers. Thor goes for the head and they get the Soul Stone.

Once they arrive back on Earth, Tony starts working on the elements as well as using the readings of the Stones to find the other stones. Once he finds the Stones, they divide into tag teams of two and go hunting for the remaining Stones.

During the three weeks that Tony was stuck in space, the remaining Asgardians arrived on Earth. Thor leaves Valkyrie in charge of New Asgard, who settled in Norway, with the help of Pepper. As he goes to retrieve the Space Stone (he is getting that one because he’s the only original Avenger from space) which is guarded by Ebony Maw.

Maw because he can use magic and is the most skilled of the Black Order, so Thor has the biggest chance of surviving. He goes on his own, seeing as all of the other people who know their way around space are paired with a human. The other pairs are:

• Steve & Carol for the Time Stone; Because there both soldiers out of time; I don’t have a particular reason for this except for maybe Steve needing some self reflection on his past actions and Carol being an actual Captain, not just an honorary one, can help (yes, im salty);

• Bruce/Hulk & Nebula for the Power Stone; Because the Hulk, but, also, also, actually, actually Bruce Banner is the strongest Avenger. And they need to realize that they need to work together (These two got some serious self worth issues) and Nebula can help with that because she too was turned into something she didn’t want to be; Plus Cull Obsidian is the strongest of the Black Order;

• Clint & Rocket for the Reality Stone; Because they both lost their reality when they lost their children (Here Clint didn’t go whole psycho emo assassin, not to mention melodramatic Mr. Don’t, don’t give me hope, on the world and Natasha went to get him like ten seconds after the snap, because oh I don’t know she’s supposedly his best friend and the godmother to his children with one being named after her.); So did Tony (Harley & Peter you can fight me on this) but they don’t know that and also Pepper is pregnant;

Natasha stays on Earth as she is needed for relief efforts as well as new contingencies to ensure no other civilians die, for their cause. So, together with Pepper, Valkyrie, Darcy, Nakia and Okoye, who temporarily took over Wakanda seeing as the entire royal family was dusted, they plan with world leaders to stop traffic on the day the second snap happens.

So, people who dusted on the road won't come back to die anyways, because they were hit by a car, bus, train or even a subway. Whilst Tony and Rhodey play in the lab aka rebuild the Iron Legion to rescue any people who dusted on a plane, boat or submarine and are in danger of dying due those circumstances, whilst they diligently await the return of the other Avengers.

As for people who dusted in hospitals, there will be no surgeries that day and all personnel are on stand-by for any patient that dusted on the table. There should be records of all people who dusted, so it shouldn’t be too hard, just long and tedious. And that is without taking into account this is only for Earth and they need to rinse and repeat this process as quickly as possible for as many planets as possible.

That’s why Valkyrie stayed on Earth, so that once the plan in fully thought out, she and the Asgardians who want to can go and work this out with other worlds, with space ships made by Tony, Rhodey, Helen Cho (who was very sad to hear that Peter died, cuz she was his trusted doctor, it’s hard finding a doctor for him with his mutated blood and all that jazz) and Wakanda.

As for relief efforts, the Maria Stark Foundation is on top of things. Wong and the rest of the Kamer Taj also help with finding missing persons and as soon as the Iron Legion is back up they help too until they are needed for the second snap, with FRIDAY at the helm of course.

Once they have the element based on the Mind Stone, Tony with the help of Wakandan scientists awakens? Rebuilds? Reboots? Rebirths? I don’t know, okay? Vision is confusing, anyways he brings Vision and Jarvis back. Yes, Jarvis too, because I miss him and FRI deserves to meet her big bro.

Back to the Avengers in space. Thor, thanks to Stormbreaker, can call the Bifrost and therefore is also the one arrives the fastest at his destination. (Don’t ask me where okay. Just somewhere in the depths of the Galaxy.) He finds ? a castle? a cave? Ebony Maw seems too sophisticated for a cave, so a castle it is.

Moving on, he wanders around the castle trying to find Maw, but moreover the Stone. Finally he does find him, he’s just sitting there on a throne holding the Stone and almost playing with it in a sort of knowing way. He looks up and smirks as Thor’s grip on Stormbreaker tightens and he starts crackling with lightning, much like he did in the final battle of Asgard on the Bifrost against Hela. And then he says, “I did tell you the sun would shine on us again,” before transforming into Loki.

Cue cute and wholesome reunion, because these two sad bois™ deserve it. (Also after they get back to earth Thor is the one who handles the most of the delegation with other planets together with Loki, cuz you know Loki seems more competent)

Moving on to our dynamic duo of Captains (lmao I think I’m funnier than I actually am). Carol has a suit that lets her breathe in space as well as powers that she can use to fly. Steve can use the thing that Quill uses to breathe in space and I’m sure that either Tony or Wakandan scientists can whip up a space suit. I’m not even sure he needs it, cuz Quill’s clothes look pretty normal, but ya can never be too sure. Anyway, because Carol has the ability to fly really fast they just move through space like that to cut back on time.

Next up are Bruce and Nebula, they take the Milano together with Clint and Rocket who later take a pod once they need to separate.

In Infinity War Bruce is seen to be having trouble with hulking out, that is because Thanos scared the Hulk into hiding. At some point during the movie Bruce says, “Hulk, we got a lot to figure out, pal.”. So, if we follow this line of thought we can safely assume that they talk and start the process of healing. Neither trying to take over permanently, but rather work together to find a long term solution without killing either Hulk or Bruce. On the ship Bruce tries to talk to Hulk but the moment Thanos is mentioned he panics and refuses to talk about it.

Nebula notices and asks if she can try to talk with him, notice the distinction between ‘talking with’ and ‘talking to’. She talks with him as though he were an equal, which he is mind you, not an object. Nebula is able to reassure the Hulk and gets him to agree to try and reconcile with Banner to find a balance.

Ah yes, the dads amongst superheroes Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and Rocket Raccoon. Those who lost their reality with the Snap, their children. When a child loses their parent they are an orphan, but there is no name for a parent who loses their child (yes i am using that cliche quote, leave me alone). They are both skilled long distance fighters, so I was thinking we could take advantage of that. Rocket creates a diversion and Clint takes Proxima Midnight out, because the rage of a grieving father is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy.

the mcu would've been so much better today if they had hired parkner tumblr and ao3 to write for them.

[bodyelectr1c]

plaything

austin doesn’t let the reader finish until he wants her to

literally no plot, just smut

warnings: orgasm denial, teasing, oral (f receiving), degradation, edging, a little overstim, implied age gap, possessive austin, daddy kink

this is my first time writing, it’s so nasty but kind of hot. i’m a sucker for an older guy, so i picture a sexy age gap. anyways, enjoy!

austin hadn’t let you off easily, forbidding you from touching yourself while simultaneously leaving you unfinished and begging, writhing; a string of desperate whines and pleas leaving your throat. it was clear to you he didn’t care for your pleasure, he just wanted to get himself off. you were nothing more than a fuckdoll to him. he’d no shame in pulling you by your hair- no matter when; no matter where, dragging you to the nearest bathroom, shed, closet, whatever- and fucking you senseless

“fuck- you’re such a slut baby,”

“your cunt is so fucking tight, just for me”

“you’re-fuck, gonna be the death of me..”

he cooed ‘affectionate’ remarks at you in between progressively sloppier thrusts- if they could even be labelled affectionate. you regarded it as love on his part, you both know you enjoyed being degraded, and he knew you’d do anything to make daddy cum.

sometimes, whilst jackhammering into your pussy, he’d lazily reach down and thumb at your untouched clit in circular motions, occasionally dipping his hand down to where you both connected, attempting to fit one of his thick fingers in alongside. he did this just to hear you scream his name, and he’d stop as soon as he felt his climax nearing.

it was habitual, his hips would begin to stutter, his moans would get more desperate- louder and lower, his degrading remarks would descend into a string of pet names, his eyes fluttering closed as he groaned. “babybabybaby”

and then it was over, he’d pull out with a desperately hot groan, his cum painting every part of your body as he’d collapse onto the bed, his larger frame dipping the mattress next to you. you’d scream his name to no avail, trying to chase the high that he brought you near, but never cared to complete. your own hand darted down to your throbbing clit, rubbing desperate and fast circles around the sensitive nerves before they were met with a sharp slap on austin’s behalf, and then an absence of any sensation. he’d pull your hands away from your clit, puffy and leaking.

“you cum, when i make you cum, i don’t fuck college whores who get off on anyone’s fingers but mine.” he’d growl, pulling your thighs apart after you’d began rubbing them together in an attempt at any friction, his words turning you on impossibly more; you felt like you could cum untouched, coaxed by more of his dirty, perverted requests. you let him know, too, babbling incoherent sentences and grabbing onto his toned arms, repeating over and over again to just “let me cum daddy, i’ll be good i promise, fuck- pleasepleaseplease austin”

to your dismay, he’d almost always get up off the bed, watching you writhing and twitching from your previous proximity to your orgasm, and spit out:

“you’re so desperate it’s pathetic,”

before walking away to take a scathing hot shower, leaving you sensitive, but obedient enough to never touch yourself in the hopes that he’d come back and please you to completion.

in those blissful moments where he’d come back from the bathroom after an excruciatingly long time, finding pleasure in the confidence that you’d wait for him to make you cum, he’d hover his tall frame over you, watching attentively, towel loosely hanging on his hips, v line completely visible above the thin cloth, hair still wet as an aftermath of his shower. he’d let out a gruff and low laugh at how much of you whore you were being, fucked out without being allowed to cum. he found it comical, and a fucking sexy sight to see. his girl, spread out just for him, obedient and desperate to please him in any way you could. he got hard again just thinking about it.

he’d lower himself between your thighs, much to your relief as you let out a pleasured sigh, letting your head fall back against the bed as his stubble brushed your clit alongside his nose, teasing you one last time, evoking a sharp twitch in your abdomen, before he brought his tongue out to swirl around your sensitive cunt. your desperation to get off overcame you, you couldn’t help but lose your fingers in his damp hair whilst pulling his head down to force him onto your clit. he didn’t stop you, instead alternating between sucking your clit- hard, as if to signal that he was still in charge, and swirling his tongue around your pleasure soaked pussy, focusing his attention on one sensitive spot that made you whine louder and higher.

hearing you express your immense pleasure was a profession of devotion for him, and it turned him on profusely, causing him to moan around your cunt, sending vibrations around you that fluttered around your walls. his sucking and teasing was becoming too much for you, and he didn’t give you a second to rest, pulling you back toward him with a tight grip on your hips every time you tried to lift yourself in an attempt to catch your breath. he knew you could take it.

you felt your climax nearing you as you began to convulse, closing your thighs around his head, his still damp hair tickling your legs as he sucked harder and harder, also aware of how close you were due to the incessant chant of unholy curses and moans left your body. it was sinful, truly, his chin already soaked with the anticipation of your climax, mixed with the noises you made as he lost himself in between your legs.

“daddy, i’m so close, please let me cum, please let me cum, fuck!” you begged as he looked up from his task at hand, mouth never leaving your swollen clit, icy blue eyes focused on the pornographic sight before him, basking in it.

your climax washed over you as you let out a last scream of his name, pushing his head back down as you bucked your hips sloppily against his face, allowing yourself to release, the warm knot in your stomach untying itself as your eyes rolled back into your head.

as you lay there, panting, coming down from your intense high, austin outlined your clit in slow circular motions with his fingers to coax you through your comedown, making you twitch under the aftermath of the stimulation, bucking your hips up again slightly before letting go of all the tension in your muscles and collapsing farther back into the mattress, hands still intertwined in his now messy hair as he moved to lie next to you, using the white sheets to clean the remainder of your juices off his face before turning to face you where you lay, breathless

“fuck baby, that- was hot.”

[thesensteawitch]

A L♡VE Reading You'll Never Forget 🕊️🤍

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2

Pile 3, Pile 4)

Pick A Pile Reading

Hey, my lovely Senstea Souls!🥹🫶🏻 It took me a lottttttttt of time to write this reading for you. So stick till the end. This reading is divided into 4 parts:

- Your Past Lives Love Energy

- Your Present Life Love Energy

- Your Future Life Love Energy

- Yes OR No Question (Think of a Yes or No Question after picking your pile that will be answered in the end.)

Find the EXTENDED of this reading on my PATREON.

To book a personal tarot reading with me you can refer to these links:

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Pile 1

Your Past Lives Love Energy

As I am starting this reading, it's 1:23. I see the energy of multiple suitors/lovers in your reading. Maybe because we are tapping into your past lives, that's why so many energies are desperate to be seen. And perhaps that was exactly the case with you. So many people wanted your attention, and you did show them affection, but they all weren't a perfect match. The suitors you came across weren't the first time you met them. You knew them, again, from another lifetime. No heart dares to sync with another if not already carrying an unfinished story. These stories were desperate to find their climax (good or bad doesn't matter). But it wasn't about them; it was about you. Your life looked really fun from the outside. Anyone who would witness your life would think that you've got everything. Deep down you were very intelligent, fair, and even intuitive, but when it came to expressing what's there in your heart, you could only express it in tears. No word made sense to you, and these cycles kept repeating, and love remained a fantasy between many choices you had.

Moving on was a task you would dedicate to a single lifetime. It was enormously challenging for you to not see the beauty in another, and hence, you found it terribly difficult to let go. You're from that era where Katherine Pierce once innocently said, “If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?” Don't get me wrong, fairytale love is real, but if it's a fantasy of your mind or if it's really happening in reality for you, it's something you need discernment to understand. Your soul has crossed paths with many lovers looking for justice in love without realizing that it's you who must do justice to yourself first. You ask me how? By speaking up. By learning how to communicate the depth you feel in your heart, because the more you would have spoken, the easier it could have been for you to see the truth and let go.

Your Present Life Love Energy

All the hard work that you avoided in previous lifetimes has joined hands with your fate to fall upon you in this lifetime. Fate hasn't been all cruel to you in this lifetime but has helped you by igniting the curiosity within you to understand human psychology and even relationship dynamics. You may be a keen reader in this lifetime or someone who loves to gather information on different subjects. In this lifetime you're very sensitive and a good listener. With age, your intuition is only going to get stronger. There's something about scents too. Either you smell really good or you've got a strong memory attached to different scents. Try smelling different fragrances, and you'll be taken back in time. Currently in your love life you're learning a major lesson about being patient because you're doing the healing work you avoided in your past. The divine asks you to not develop pride while waiting for the one because you may end up feeling that you don't need anyone at all. Do you see the polarity? Your soul has been so tired looking for love that now, when it's finally being forced to heal and is realizing the magic of healing, you may end up feeling you don't need anyone at all. If you look from a healthy point of view, then you do need someone. And deep down you still do; it's just your ego trying to protect you from going through the same painful cycle again. Heal that ego too. Currently I see karma being balanced in your love life. You and those you crossed paths with are receiving what they have sown. The justice you once sought is happening behind the scenes while you're healing and learning to surrender. Currently where you're at in your love life isn't easy, and it even makes you furious at times, but in the end, it's going to be worth it. All the innocence that you lost is going to come back to you. I don't know why I keep seeing Katherine Pierce from Vampire Diaries in my mind. She too lost her innocence believing that love is everything and ended up running from it eventually. The sun is shining so bright while I'm writing this, and you also have the sun card in the end with the 10 of cups on the bottom. The color yellow is very prominent in your reading. Maybe the song “Yellow” has some messages for your current reality. Rainbows and angels are also very significant. Why do I feel like you've been looking for a lover that divine promise you'll find in this realm? And it's been lifetimes. Tiring, isn't it? You're so innocent by heart, pile 1. Did God tell you that first you'll have to go through these trials and learn a few lessons? Stubborn child, you don't listen either, but now you're listening attentively. If God would have told you what you would have to go through to unite with your person, you would have never taken on this long journey.

Your Future Life Love Energy & Yes OR No Question (Think of a Yes or No Question after picking your pile that will be answered in the end.) are available on my Patreon. Go check out the extended version of this reading.

Pile 2

Your Past Lives Love Energy

In your past life, I see a betrayal in your married life. Now either you betrayed or you were betrayed; take it how it resonates because this same energy may have been carried in this lifetime as well. Nevertheless, let's look into your past lives first. Ah! Now I get it. In every lifetime, you two are fated to meet to heal this wound of betrayal. But you don't heal or forgive or choose self-love but rather keep betraying one another in every lifetime. In one lifetime you betrayed this person, and then in another they betrayed you. This way the roles just kept reversing. I feel that your ego was too big to accept your mistake in your past lives. Divine was testing your commitment to your self-respect, but again, in another lifetime, you chose this person. You and your person were a mirror to each other. You were so similar yet so different. You two were meant to heal in separation, but you chose to get married. I see this energy of young love. I literally heard, “'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love. Not knowing what it was...” This love was naive but full of passion. You both never dared to understand the depth of true love but mistook love for passion and adventure. And as you both grew up, all those dreams felt like mere fantasy, where love that could have bloomed into something more suffocated between ego and otherworldly responsibilities. And one of them was your kids. After having kids, both of your lives changed, and even the passion was lost in your connection. I also see that you or your partner wanted a baby boy or girl, but the gender wasn't what he/she expected. Another reason for conflict in your connection. It's also possible that you had to marry because you or your person got pregnant before marriage. Many red flags were overlooked in this connection because you both married young or were young at heart/not much experienced in love. I am also sensing that you both were somewhat religious or spiritual in previous lifetimes. Maybe your marriages were even fixed when you were kids because of similar backgrounds or beliefs, but as you grew up and gained maturity, you realized that what you two had was everything but love.

Your Present Life Love Energy

In your present life the divine is giving you a chance to let go of a karmic connection present in your life. Whenever you try to move on, this person appears. I feel you both have an unhealthy attachment to each other. I also see hidden love. You or your partner are in love with someone else but still can't let go of this past connection. This cycle just keeps on repeating. No matter how much one invests in this connection, it just never blooms. Again, as I said, there's passion, attraction, but no love. Literally no cups card came out this time, which shows emotions. Only security, a false sense of safety, and undeniable attraction toward each other. Whatever this is, it's not good. The universe is nudging you to take the first step and get yourself out of this connection. Don't wait for the other person to end this connection or just because they come back doesn't mean it's meant to be. In this lifetime, this cycle must end. The card at the bottom of my oracle literally says, “Don't let your past hold you back.”

Your aura has been affected by this connection immensely. Both of you feel like you're not good enough. You've spent so many lifetimes with this person that you don't believe that there's a higher form of love out there for you. So you both just keep settling for each other. If you've been seeing too many angel numbers or signs regarding this person, then the universe is pushing you to let go. You need to cut through the illusion. You both can only heal in separation. I don't know who is reading this, but I feel that the masculine tries to move on, but the feminine keeps coming back in this lifetime. I also heard, “No matter how much is given to the other person, the greed never ends!”

Even in this lifetime you've got similar beliefs. For some good reason, you both are being given strength by the divine to overcome the challenges and let go of this connection. The end of this connection must happen for your new lives to begin otherwise this will just keep on going. One of you is really desperate. This person can't let go at all. Even I feel exhausted with this energy. I hear, “I really thought you were on my side, but now there's nobody by my side. I need you, I need you, I need you right now. So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down. I think I'm losing my mind now.” One of you just keeps making up fake scenarios in your head.

Your Future Life Love Energy & Yes OR No Question (Think of a Yes or No Question after picking your pile that will be answered in the end.) are available on my Patreon. Go check out the extended version of this reading.

Pile 3

Your Past Lives Love Energy

Your love story begins beautifully but later turns into a war. I heard that you were sold a lie. You were just not betrayed by your person but by many people from your life. They all lied to you about something, and you got played. The responsibility of your relationship was solely carried by you. You were sold dreams that became your worst nightmares. And your person? They were nowhere to be found. You can't even find them in this reading. This is a mess. It can even trigger you, so please read further at your own risk. I will try to be as gentle as possible. You're safe with me, but you can have your own shortcomings, so I'm not going to force you to read further. But if you know you've got the strength to read further, then let's move forward. Some of you were even made to marry multiple partners. This literally destroyed your mental health and sacral chakra. If in this lifetime you often get severe headaches or pain in your lower abdomen, it can be due to this past life energy. Your sacral, third eye, and crown chakras may need healing. It's also possible that in many lifetimes you were tricked into marrying someone or being with someone who wasn't a good match for you. You were kind to everybody, but nobody was kind to you. People took advantage of your kindness. They always had an ulterior motive with you. This has happened to you many times in different lives.

Let's understand why this happened with you. All these people saw your light and were energy vampires. You were too innocent to help yourself or truly see the mask that they were wearing. There was something special about you, and somehow being near you triggered their shadow sides. That's why they did wrong to you. People were drawn to your aura like a moth to a flame. You always had ego clashes with your loved ones. You were the black sheep of your family with no help to understand how to release the heavy energies you were taking on from others'. You've overgiven in love. Your love language was acts of service. You were so devoted that even on your deathbed you would make a cup of coffee for your lover. For some reason I feel I'm looking into your recent past life because I feel something happened even before this. There must be a reason for why all of this happened to you. Opposite genders were highly attracted to you, but no one was in love with you. It's possible that you may have your Venus in the first, sixth, or eighth house. It's also possible you may have Taurus in any of these houses. A lot was taken away from you in your past lives when it comes to love, and yet you still believed in love because your soul knew that love exists. In past lives your love life was no less than a horror movie. But after this, in your present birth, something changes.

Your Present Life Love Energy

Your cards are already so excited to come out. This life is full of wisdom and clarity for you. Your painful past has led to spiritual awakenings in this lifetime. Even in this lifetime, you ended up manifesting similar connections as you were heavily carrying the energy of your past life, but you had divine's full support in helping you come out of the past trauma. Divine has intervened so many times. I also heard, “You're an angel in the shape of my mom. When God takes you back, say hallelujah.” In this lifetime, love means God to you. That's going to be your first definition of love. I already hear your child being so grateful for your existence in the future. I know we are looking at the present, but this message wanted to come forward. I feel you have met many karmic partners even in this lifetime. These could have been really short-term connections because God didn't allow them to be dragged longer. Because this lifetime is all about awakening you to the truth. The more you understand the divine, the more you understand yourself and your past connections. You've gained so much wisdom when it comes to relationships that you can now even guide others.

Currently I do see a blockage in your life to manifest your true love. But there's nothing to worry about, as this blockage is going to soon be illuminated to you. Very soon I see you meeting your true love. One last shadow needs to be dealt with, and this has something to do with your thought patterns. I feel that sometimes you don't believe that the best can unfold for you in your love life. You know that true love exists, but you don't know what it feels like, which is why you can't manifest it. Ah! Okay! Now I get it, pile 3. You are not supposed to think or visualize about your love life at all because somewhere you end up visualizing something that used to happen in your previous connection. If you don't know what divine love or true love feels like, then how can you visualize it? You can't visualize something you've never experienced or even witnessed in your surroundings. You're being guided to only ask the divine to show you or make you feel how the world would look when you're with your true love. And you'll see the physical manifestation of it. Currently you must be noticing love around you, and it makes you think, “Oh, I've been through all this. There's nothing divine about it.” Don't visualize, please, pile 3. God listens to you. Ask God to show you, and I can assure you that you will see a totally different world around you.

You're very close to meeting your person; just don't become too critical of them when you meet them, as you may end up doing that. Because I do see this pile has healed themselves a lot, but this can make you overly critical of others. If there's anything at pause in your life, then it's your love life. But the energy is gaining momentum, and very soon you'll meet your person. Also, I do see someone from the past is still in your energy, and they may show up again. This is going to be your final test before you unite with someone God sends.

Your Future Life Love Energy & Yes OR No Question (Think of a Yes or No Question after picking your pile that will be answered in the end.) are available on my Patreon. Go check out the extended version of this reading.

Pile 4

Your Past Lives Love Energy

Oh my pile 4. You've had so little time for love in your past lifetimes. You were so busy making the ends meet that you never truly got lucky enough to experience true love. You tried to understand love, maybe wrote something on it, but it was filled with sorrow. When people read your words, they cried because they could feel your pain, your loneliness. Your work life brought a lot of success to you but no love. Also, as you tried to understand love intellectually, you could never truly listen to the divine's wisdom on love. All your written work or spoken word had a spark of intelligence but no wisdom. You invested in the wrong relationships in some lifetimes because you were so disconnected from your intuition. In one life you lived a complete life where you had a family, money, kids, and pets, but again, no love. In this particular lifetime, I'm seeing you as a woman. After many lifetimes, your soul wondered what was it really missing to see? What was it doing wrong? It again came back to earth to learn its lesson on love, and yet again it failed. In every lifetime you've experienced all sorts of relationships and yet couldn't find love. In every lifetime, your soul challenged itself and had a relationship totally different from its previous lifetime. You had a limited approach toward love despite investing in a different relationship in a different lifetime. God, pile 4, you were just missing opening yourself up to the infiniteness of this universe. You didn't allow yourself to let go of control for once and let the divine take care of your love life. You were hell-bent on solving this mystery with your limited perception.

But one thing is something that I'm sure of is that in every lifetime you found something new about love, and it brought you one step closer to your destiny: to truly understand love. Some of you even recklessly left for Paris only to understand love. You were very clever in your past lifetimes and thought that love was a competition. You wanted to show the world that somehow your love story is the greatest of all time or better than everyone else's. This may even have led to a downfall of your relationship with your partner. Pile 4, this part of your reading is making me laugh. I mean, your pursuit to understand love is adorable. I heard, “You just want attention; you don't want my heart.” I feel like you've written such long paragraphs on betrayals while you've never been betrayed. You've forced yourself to feel all kinds of love. My God! There should be a movie made on this storyline. It's like your partner didn't even do anything, and you made it a situation overly dramatic only to write something on it later. Hahaha, omg!

Your Present Life Love Energy

In this lifetime you're very conflicted on what you really think of love. If someone asks you what you think of love, you either end up getting into an argument with that person or you just surrender and leave the room. You feel like you know what love means, and yet you're confused. You intellectually know so much, but you don't feel that you can define love in one statement that can fit in every situation. Your one argument contradicts the other. You feel like love is a battle that needs to be won. But all you seek is peace. You're finding it difficult to keep your cool or be patient. I feel even self-love is something you're only intellectually aware of. Your soul is finding it difficult to understand its purpose in this lifetime. Some of you may even be good at psychology but bad at feeling things deeply. Surrender is something that you don't know how to do. Only taking action towards self love is going to bring some changes in your love life. It's also possible that your sun may be weakly placed or debilitated in your chart (sun in Libra). I feel in this lifetime your thoughts never match with your partner. You come off as intellectual, and love needs emotions.

The divine doesn't want you to give up on your pursuit of understanding love at all, though. But I do see the need for you to read some spiritual books and ask God to show you what divine love looks like. I do see change happening in your love life, and this is only possible with the divine's help. At present nothing is certain in your love life, but if you make some adjustments within yourself, you'll see some shifts. To get closer to God, you need to understand how to contact God first. Meditation is another way. I do see that you have this desire to come out of your mental limitations and surrender to the unknown and experience the true bliss of love. You are very good with words, but love isn't words. Those who can't speak still love. How? Those who can't hear, speak, or see still love. What's love really? You're very close to meeting someone who is going to be the love you've been craving for in all these lifetimes. But it's only possible if you're willing to see your limitations and let God do the magic. Now you'll say, “Oh, but I'm not stopping God from sprinkling some magic on me!” Well, you are. You're not an empty vessel through which God can speak. Remember in your previous lifetimes? You could speak every language of love, and yet they all were missing the magic. You need God to speak through you.

You need to tell the story of your life to the world, remember?

Your Future Life Love Energy & Yes OR No Question (Think of a Yes or No Question after picking your pile that will be answered in the end.) are available on my Patreon. Go check out the extended version of this reading.

[gamersagainstthemachines]

Any thoughts on Lucia from DMC?

not particularly many. but i couldnt help thinking about the design of the game so if i really dig for it i probably got some. I played her campaign first because my dante disc wouldnt play at the time. it was a lan party and drinks got on it lol gotta love physical media. I think youre supposed to play them the other way around tho. it didnt make the plot less confusing. it stuck out immediately that she is an unfinished character, so i did a little redesign while playing. she looks like a first draft with no textures that is afraid to express an edgy style, and the colors are too strong so i tried to remedy it.

I like her devil trigger. probably more than dantes but it doesnt have to be a competition. I also like the mechanics in this game and playing her is fun. She should have a shin dt. Maybe one that is fragile and self-destructive to contrast dantes.

making a few changes to her design based on her DT helps but theres really no character to go off of. shes not a well developed character that you can imagine doing anything else than the game cutscenes. that doesnt really stop people from trying, you know the every character is somebodys favorite character principle. ive been considering dmc an "irrelevant" franchise and one of the interesting things for me is to look up old fansites and browse them, and many people really loved lucia and tried out developing her by writing onto her fanfiction-style. i think my favorite interpretation was a very romantic lucia who was involved in the vie de marli community even though that just sounds like nero. but yeah the open, attractive, self-insert characters are fun obviously they leaned into this for dmc4 which i think is fun. she already affords the cast a very sensitive and fragile character which i like and i dont think she needs to harden. she appeals to players with more timid attitudes unlike the other characters. Her story is very cool, too bad the plot is a mess and doesnt reflect what she is going through. And she would have needed to do something in the climax. when she really needs it the most the plot abandons her. if they played up the melodrama with post credits scenes it could have been good though.

The secretaries could have been bigger characters too. the concept of artificial demons keeps coming up in the games and sidestories so clearly it interests the writers but they never end up doing anything interesting with it. playing as an artificial demon or a human turned could be ripe for new game mechanics, kind of opposite to how v is restricted.

aaand I like her accent. More characters should have accents. or just do fun things with the voicework. they certainly tried in dmc2. vergil stands out as the best voiced character to me in the series tho.

and diesel huh. weird brand

call me stupid the way i see potential in unfinished characters

[tenebriskukris]

An Exhumation Of Hikaru Kamiki's Character Epilogue: Why Did I Spend So Much Time On This?

Spoilers for the entirety of Oshi No Ko below.

Oshi No Ko is not a good manga. I’ve made my sentiments clear on this claim on many, many occasions. There are better media that display the horrors of the idol industry, that detail both satisfying and unsatisfying revenge plots, that even perform the reincarnation angle to a degree more competent than this manga by magnitudes. The dogshit direction the manga took in regards to the ending was just the nail in the coffin that solidified it for me. The fact that this manga became so popular is an insult to all the heaps of better written manga out there that don’t even have a tenth of the popularity this glorified soap opera of a series has. It simply does not deserve the acclaim it gathered throughout this runtime, in my opinion.

If you were to hold me at gunpoint and ask why this manga has garnered the undue popularity that it has, I’d simply point to the fact that the anime has been exceptionally animated. I had recently watched the second season of the anime and as much as people harp on about how good the Stage Play arc is, that arc too holds more than enough questionable narrative decisions and writing pitfalls for me to even say that the entire arc was written competently. While the adaptation was, objectively, quite good, no matter how well an anime performs in adapting the source material, if the foundation of the anime is rotten, then the finished product will always fall apart under closer inspection. 

Now, this isn’t the time or the place for me to selectively dissect just Where the series has gone wrong. The authors don’t pay me for media analysis and truthfully I think I’d take my payment in fists to their faces since I’m never going to get any of the time back I spent on this pile of shit. It simply isn’t a media that respects its readers' time and thus not one I’m going to commit any of my time to dealing with again. It’s a shame, too. I’ve got over 40k words worth of unfinished analysis on this godforsaken series, about half of which detail Why Kana Arima Is The Worst Character In Oshi No Ko. That’d be a hit with the girlies, I’m sure. 

Kamiki Hikaru, I think, is emblematic of this lack of quality. He and the manga at large started off objectively fine but nothing particularly special and then spiraled out of control and found themselves lying in a dumpster fire the moment they were put under pressure.

I wrote this entire essay to chronicle my thoughts on Hikaru throughout his appearances in the series and simply felt a supreme set of disappointment with how much he fails in a majority of aspects.

Hikaru fails as an antagonist because the narrative could not craft a sufficiently satisfying payoff to his character. All the setup that was used to develop intrigue, all the effort that was done to make him interesting faded away into dust the moment his true face was exposed and the reader could see him under the spotlight for the first time. A more competent author could make his high concept and general character work but there was nothing done to forward the themes he represented and develop his character in a palpable manner.

Hikaru fails as a character because the narrative was so predisposed to using him as an antagonistic force that he simply does not even feel like a character in the story. Yes, he performs antagonistic roles—killing Yura and attempting to manipulate Nino to kill Ruby—but we never get any sort of internality or thought process from him until so close to the final climax of the series and by then any attempt to pursue his character to its logical conclusions were hamstrung by the bad writing of the series. We see his backstory and such from the movie arc but I’ve mentioned before that we have to view those portrayals as suspect due to the fact that he didn’t have any input towards the movie in the first place. He is only really seen at the end of the series and by then the execution of his character left too much to be desired.

Hikaru fails because his thematics fail. What he represents as both a character and as an antagonist simply does not clash against Aqua beyond a mere surface level sequence of events. Hikaru kills stars because that is his way to get closer to Ai. Aqua wants to kill Hikaru to take revenge on him for killing Ai and later to protect Ruby. They do not conflict with each other thematically on any sort of level that fuels the fact that Aqua is the protagonist and Hikaru as the antagonist. 

None of the reasons for them butting heads like this is in any way related to their respective themes that aren’t related to revenge and who they are as people—and even if one could argue in vain that they are, the series does not take time to contrast or hell even compare them during Aqua and Hikaru’s conflict nor at any point throughout the series in a palpable manner.

Hikaru fails in general because he feels like an antagonist first and a character second, and while that sort of approach is fine in a vacuum, for a grounded series that has its roots in the real world that sort of approach simply does not work well with Hikaru—a character that has had so much setup to to develop his character and yet he simply became little more than a deluded murderer—and an uninteresting one at that—that cannot stand on his own merits after the narrative had painstakingly set up his depth and then unceremoniously toppled all that work to the floor in the final arcs of the series.

Hikaru fails because the narrative fails. It cannot be reasonably argued that the quality of the series has not fallen off a cliff ever since the movie arc started and arguably at least an arc or two before then. While the series had flaws before this point—enough so that I wouldn’t even consider it decent at its very best—those flaws were overpowered by the shiny plot points and narrative progression and the characters that lifted up the series on their backs. There were enough good qualities left in the manga to drown out its flaws. That simply isn’t present in many of the later arcs of the series. The horrible pacing saw to that. The butchery of these characters saw to that. The mean spirited conclusion saw to that.

I don’t know who failed Hikaru more. The industry, which enabled Airi to warp a young boy far enough to become a heartless monster; or the authors, who butchered what was an intriguing character concept into little more than a middling antagonist whose very existence becomes just another footnote in the leagues of mediocre villains within all of media.

>INTERMISSION II ==>

[writtenbywings]

Battle Scars

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy

Summary: Returning to Hogwarts as a professor, Hermione bitterly encounters Draco Malfoy as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, throwing everything into chaos.

Hatred and lust slowly begins to burn between them, though only as they recall their final, secret year at Hogwarts.

Chapter word count: 2.8k

AO3 Link: Click Here

Fanfiction Link: Click Here

Type: Lemony, lemon, lemon---ade. Smutty lemonade. 

CHAPTER SEVEN

Year 7 Flashback

Excuses are what we need to get through life. Tiny little pockets of gold that free us from the tormenting thoughts that keep us up at night. I wouldn't know where I'd be without excuses, without the ability to rectify my decisions, my actions, with lying reason.

And I had lied all week, keeping my experience with Draco Malfoy in Slytherin Tower a secret, even to my two truest friends. Perhaps because it felt good to keep something just for myself, or maybe because they would look at me with a different set of eyes if they knew I had allowed him in… penetrating my protective bubble.

Draco had redeemed himself to somewhat of a degree in Harry's eyes, especially after he had fought with us, opposed to against us, when we battled Voldemort. Though Ron was unshaken. His brother had been killed. His family had been torn apart. And blood was harder to wash off of a conscience than a few bad memories.

Harry would have understood with less hatred.

Ron would have just hated, and hated… and hated some more.

Alas, Ginny could tell something was different. She noticed me flushing in the face whenever a seventh year came passed, dressed in emerald robes. Though I hadn't said much, other than that I felt a little sick and shaky, and maybe the nerves of my unfinished homework was weighing too close to home.

As Thursday came around, six days after our secret meeting, I saw Malfoy standing in the courtyard, talking to Isobel Wretching. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair and fluttery, doe-eyes. A student who would have been better suited for Hufflepuff, opposed to Slytherin. Though it was her fathers affiliation with the dark arts that caused the sorting hat to take an unexpected turn, and one that saw a brief relationship with Draco, in question.

I saw him smirk, the bruising on his face now alleviated entirely. He wore his shirt sleeves down during the day, not wanting to show off that Death Eater mark. Though Isobel was reaching over, playing with his hand.

The image I'd been keeping of him in my head burned to nothing, and I walked past with a vigor that rustled a small wind, alerting him as I went.

Really, what was I expecting? I didn't want us to be friends outside of our arrangement, though I didn't expected to be toyed with. I was Hermione Granger, not some common room slut. If his… areas… were touching other… areas… I didn't want them near mine!

I thought of myself as a virgin, if not for the few times with Ronald.

Though I doubt they could be considered as sex, as they included no passion, no romance, no touching of the explicit kind. It was just a romp on his bed after quidditch practice, and then another time at The Burrow, when I'd been wearing a little dress and we'd let the mood take us. But still, I'd never… orgasmed. He did. But I had just rocked about on the bed for the best part of ten minutes.

If I ever had experienced a climax in life – not involving the happiness I got from a new book – it would have been in private, with one of those vibrating wands from Va-Va-Broom. And I'd never expect Draco Malfoy to be able to deliver anything other than selfishness, so what was I expecting? A bit of loyalty… from the man who nearly killed Dumbledore?

My thoughts continued to hiss like a hot kettle, and continued well into even the night.

Friday morning came, and Draco didn't so much as glance my way in The Great Hall. I shamefully tried to steal a glance, one that would confirm I hadn't made up everything in my head, though as Isobel Wretching flaunted herself over his lap, feeding him a grape from the bouquet on the table, I stood and marched across the room.

I'd been played. A fool.

It was the one day I performed poorly in Potions class, and messed up an entire batch of Sickleweed Milk. A little elixir meant to cure Fizzlebumps. The cauldron exploded and one of the Ravenclaw girls had to go to the hospital wing, riddled with pimples.

I'd been given another free pass, and sent to Hagrid's for the afternoon, to help tend to a few of the magical creatures kept near his hut. I said nothing, letting him prattle on about his dealings in Scotland, and picked the feathers of a pheasant to feed to three untamed creatures. The professors were essentially letting me off every bad mistake I came to make, and for what… because I helped save the school? Or because they knew I was traumatized?

I was beginning to feel like a victim, and not the girl who could cast without a wand.

"I'm going to bed early." I told Hagrid, just as the sky began to darken. He bid me farewell, and watched as I climbed the steps to the castle, not even bothering to have dinner in the Great Hall. In my dormitory, I had a few leftover boxes of chicken pastries, quickly heating one with a spell that cooked it well, tucking into it between a soapy shower and getting my bag ready for the weekend.

I was meant to be visiting mum and dad in London, after the ministry reversed my memory spell on them. It would take a few more sessions to regain their full memory of me, though they were getting better with every visit.

Dad remembered my birthday a few weeks ago, and mum had managed to cook my favorite dinner. Small steps, though big with this kind of magic.

I paced the length of my room, searching for my dress robes, when I remembered I had left my witch's hat and cape in the common room, by the fireplace.

Lord have mercy.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was just after seven o'clock, and that most of the students would be having dessert by now. The girl's dormitory was empty, and I would have a chance to sneak and grab it, after my shower.

Still, I wanted to be careful.

I exchanged that fluffy, white towel for my pleated skirt and white button up shirt, not bothering with tights or a bralette. Though I did take a minute to slip into my knickers.

I crept downstairs, snatched up the bundle of black fabric strewn over the armchair, and ran back up within the matter of sixty seconds.

Clearly, it wasn't enough time.

As I bolted the door, wanting to change before the girls had chance to return, I saw the window ajar– the light breeze rustling the papers on Ikera's writing desk. Her owl fluttered in its cage, and made the wet ends of my hair brush icily against my breasts. I ran over and went to clasp it shut, though as I did, I saw a figure lounging on one of the beds.

It was Draco.

"What the hell are you doing in here? These are forbidden quarters to a Slytherin, let alone a boy!" I yelled, reaching for that towel to cover my chest. I was suddenly aware of how hard my nipples were.

Draco had an arm tucked casually behind his head, dressed in a white shirt similar to mine, the buttons loosely fastened. His emerald tie amiss.

"I knew you would back out of our arrangement, and I wanted to come remind you of what we agreed on." He said, playing with a smirk the way he had played with me last Friday.

"You're right." I spat. "I wasn't going to meet you, after I'd seen it was nothing but a cruel joke to you. I couldn't be bothered with your games."

At this, he sat up, bridging toward the edge of Ashley Wellings bed. Her teddy bear looking skeptical beside his hand as it tightened into the mattress.

"This isn't a game to me, Hermione."

Again, the use of my name felt like a slap, and I'd almost prefer him to use the insult. Mudblood. At least I could expect it.

"Friday night. I'm your distraction. We keep to the plan as follows."

"I don't want you to be my anything if you're going to be sleeping around. I don't know what diseases you'll be collecting."

He almost grinned, almost– if it wasn't for the seriousness he read in my glare.

"I'm not shagging Isobel Wretching. I'm not shagging anyone."

My breathing stilled, and I didn't know whether to believe him. What good would he have in lying? I would find out eventually… women always found out. Though with the way he now stood from the bed, sauntering over, narrowing the space between us, I allowed myself to believe him. If not to keep him right here, standing in front of me, but because I did, truly – honestly, really – feel distracted for the first time.

"The door is locked." I managed to say, just a whisper.

It was my way of saying I agreed, I consented.

His eyes didn't leave mine, but he nodded very slowly.

"My hair is too wet… to go to the tower." I followed on, as his eyes dragged down my tendrils of wet curls, my chest as it was still disguised beneath that towel.

"And… although me and Ron have partaken in things in the past, I really don't—"

"Drop the towel." He said, cutting me off.

I swallowed loudly, unable to move my gaze from his very serious, blue one. My fingers unlocked from their hold, and the towel fell as a bundle of white to the floor, revealing my crinkled white skirt, and the alert pinch of my pink nipples, visible now as the damp from my hair made the material transparent. He reached down and unclasped the first few buttons, my breasts – that had gotten so much more fuller in the past year – falling out, making me gasp as a wind tousled through the open window.

He had climbed the wisteria on the outskirts of the building, all to come up and here and see me. He wasn't playing any games. Not when his pride was so obviously dropped.

The Malfoy name coincided with pride.

He circled back to Ashley Wellings bed, and sat himself back on its edge, crooking a finger and beckoning me forward. A bright and immediate blush rose to my cheeks as I sauntered forward, my breasts bouncing as I did.

He held up a hand and I stopped.

No better than a dog.

An owl.

"Are you wearing anything under that skirt?"

"Yes."

"Good."

In a sudden twist of movement, he clambered his hands around my back and pulled me into his lap, causing me to gasp. I resisted the urge to squeal– I was not that girl. Though I could only swallow the saliva as it pooled in my mouth, watching as he laid himself onto the mattress, staring at me and my perky, upright breasts, in my school uniform.

With two, great hands he planted them on my rear and pushed me with such force, I slid up his body and stopped with my wet, slick underwear rubbing along his face. I jerked forward as his nose rubbed into my clit, and grabbed the bannister of the bed, lifting myself from his face with apology.

Though no, this is what he wanted.

"Sit back down." He ordered, in a voice that was as wilful as magic.

I felt obliged, if not under a spell, to do as he commanded.

With a tear, I felt his hands pull the cotton of my panties free, throwing the shredded material to a discarded corner of the room. Then, he perched me willingly onto his mouth, and with the most pained cry I'd ever released, I shivered dramatically as he began licking my folds.

The pleasure shocked me so much, I lifted up again, though Draco wasn't having any of that. He forced me back down with his hands, now holding my waist and hips like a seatbelt, making my tits thrust upwards as I bucked and grinded, unable to stand it.

"Oh my god… oh my god… Oh, god… Oh my… Oh." I whispered feverishly, biting my fingers, then grabbing the bed, then grabbing at his white wisps of hair between my thighs, then back again to my mouth to chew. I felt it deep within my stomach as tension built, his tongue slithering from my pussy hole, up my clit, and back again. Wagging like a dog's tail, flicking that bundle of nerves that hadn't been teased by anything other than my small hand, or that vibrating wand.

Though this wasn't a wand… this wasn't skin… this was wet, slithering skill. This was an ice cream in the boiling heat, a puddle on dry pavement– a forbidden lust, making it only tastier. The noise he released made me wonder if he could breathe, as I'd gotten so slick so quickly, it must now be soaking his face, his nose, his jaw. Though I didn't care– selfishly, all I could see, feel, hear and breathe was the aching, unconventional desire to cum.

I needed it so much, I began sliding my cunt against his face, grinding against his nose as if it were a bump in the road– feeling the breeze as it came from the window and ruffled the end of my skirt, exposing my rear. As if he knew, he let go of my waist entirely, and planted his hands like two dinner plates against my ass, squeezing and slapping, knowing I wouldn't leave now even if I had the capability.

I'd never leave.

I never wanted this feeling to leave.

And then, suddenly, there was pain.

Pain that cut through the pain, but somehow, only intensified it. Brought it to a new level that brought tears to my eyes, causing me to open them and stare ahead, shocked.

His thumb had made its way into that sacred little hole between my ass cheeks, degrading what I thought I knew myself to be. I wasn't as pure and white as the others had made me out to be, I wouldn't be the wife to endure one sex position in bed for the rest of my life.

I was a creature who enjoyed every morsel of humiliation when it came from the hands of my enemy. I was a mudblood. I was whatever he wanted to be, so long as he didn't stop.

I found myself backing my rear into his hand, hissing as his thumb twisted, corrupting what was left of Little Miss Granger.

The downstairs door clicked to the common room, and I could hear the girls giggling from dinner. Talking, though not quite coming up yet.

Please, I would kill them if they so much as came near this door. I needed to finish. I needed to climax. I needed to release the tension building so quickly, so fast.

"I'm close." I whimpered, which didn't change his rhythm.

I didn't want him to. His tongue was moving so perfectly already. It didn't need to accelerate or so down.

One of his hands slipped from my pert buttocks, though not the one penetrating my hole, and it pushed the skirt down from his face, revealing his blue eyes. I couldn't look at him! No, I couldn't… I couldn't come to terms with the fact it was Draco Malfoy about to get me so far, and it was Draco Malfoy with his tongue buried deep into my cunt.

I threw my head back, feeling that hand now on my breast, pulling my nipple so hard I thought it might pinch off. He devoured me like a machine, with a bit of him– other than his cock– everywhere. And he watched with the lowest, predatory growl, as I overcame the hurdle and came.

I reached forward and grabbed Ashley's teddy bear, stuffing it into my mouth and biting down hard, knowing whatever scream left my mouth would alert everyone downstairs. My stomach clenched in as I shook and trembled, tightening my asshole around his thumb, releasing my juices in hot, sweaty relief.

I couldn't remember saying his name, though the long, whiny, drawn out word 'fuck' came as a mewl, softer than any kitten. Like a doll, I collapsed senselessly to his side, quivering only slightly.

I could see his cock was rock hard within his trousers, and his face was a shiny mess.

The scent of my arousal was everywhere.

I could hardly breathe.

"Unforgivable." He said, swallowing what I could only imagine was more of me.

"Hmm?" I barely mumbled, still panting.

"The word we're using whenever we need this. No questions asked."

"Unforgivable." I said, a little drunk on ecstasy.

"Good girl." 

[vladdyissues]

I'm not asking for details, spoilers, or anything of the sort, but do you already know how Familiar is going to end? In your head, have you established or pictured the finale?

I know things can change before you even get there. I myself often have no clue how things will end when I start up a fic. (Actually, idk what's more difficult—how to start or how to finish? 😆) But I've been curious about this... particularly with your fic. There's so many wonderful and interesting things that go on as the story unravels; I can't imagine a conclusion to it all.

I don't want it to end! 😭 All good things...

I know things can change before you even get there. I myself often have no clue how things will end when I start up a fic.

Same, Puff. I only intended Familiar to be three chapters at first. Then five. Then ten... oops. I never meant for/expected it to turn into this big thing, but here we are 🥴

But to answer your question: yes, I do have an ending firmly in mind. The climax is still a bit nebulous, but I expect it'll start to solidify once I get closer to it. I've got the whole rest of the story mapped out; timeline, notes, some rough scenes, lots of emoji bullet lists. I'm even saving a bunch of scraps that are basically "deleted/alternate scenes" because I can't bear to throw old ideas away lol.

I don't want it to end!

I feel that. For me, finishing is always the biggest challenge. When I write purely for the vibes instead of plot, or to serve as some kind of emotional outlet, it can lead to a lot of unfinished WIPs—or at least "unfinished" in the sense that they accomplished their purpose for me but leave my readers hanging on the edge of a figurative cliff. (I'm sure that says something about me psychologically haha.) Vibefic is best saved for oneshots and ficlets, at least in my case. But Familiar has turned out to be the most ambitious and plot-intense story I've yet written, and I'm determined to see all the mysteries revealed and puzzles solved!

I must confess though, I'm pacing myself since I'm enjoying writing this story so much 🥹 I'm sure some of you want to kill me for taking this slow burn to the extreme, but I promise/hope it'll be worth it.

[oldendaysmedia]

One great Frozen fanfic I loved as a kid was "Wait, What?" by Fanfiction.net user RedApple435.

This story was about Elsa and Anna traveling back in time to when they were kids.

It was published on Jun 10, 2014, and last updated on Dec 24, 2014.

It only got 10 chapters far before the author abandoned it and never updated it again. It has been left unfinished.

This was such a great story, and it wasn't overly long either. It was short and to the point, and I really liked that.

The story seemed near the climax when the author abandoned it. Maybe they got bored of it or didn't think of an ending ahead of time and couldn't come up with one.

[pinkandgoldensoul]

emotional rollercoaster at 5 a.m. watching the race > getting study done before 9 a.m. > 2.2k words of the new fic written in a couple of hours > some more reading for uni (actually enjoyable) > coming back to tumblr to see Max and Penelope being the cutest thing ever, incredible f1 fanarts and Mario Renzi's breathtaking shots = i need a new brain a new heart to bear life from now on 'cause mine are washed out P.S: the fic is past 11.k words! Happy that I've got so much writing done today in the last few days! Only problem is I've written until the climax of the story, which is still an unfinished scene, and there's a lot to cover yet. My gosh. It'll never end. It's been three months. So many things happened... Anyway, I don't want to get your hopes up, I don't know how long it'll take. Just for info, the fic is a pierre gasly x reader + two other characters heavily involved... and the trope isn't another friends to lovers! Out of my comfort zone! Thanks to @gaslysainz for the request! ♥

﹒⪩⪨﹒Have a nice one ﹒⪩⪨﹒

[get-back-homeward]

Ram Revisited

Paul and Linda record their album Ram from October 1970 to March 1971, and it is released May 17, 1971. By May 26, John already had his infamous response, recording How Do You Sleep. This song gets a lot of attention for how cruel it seemed. One of John’s defenses by the album’s launch was that Paul had written special messages to him on Ram, only Paul didn’t print the lyrics so you couldn’t hear them. He mentions it a couple times, in print...

and at St Regis hotel press conference for the album release:

JOHN: But... I was laughing at [Ram] later, but first, I was saying, “Oh! Hmm. Oh, I see. Oh, that’s what he thinks,” huffing and puffing. That’s the first thing I heard on his album, was all this – this message, you see. [x]

JOHN: It’s just a moment of anger. But I just put it down on paper. And also, I’m answering Paul’s last album, which mostly because he didn’t hand out a lyric sheet, [people] don’t know what he was saying [on it]. [x]

JOHN: You mightn’t hear ‘em, but I can hear ‘em, and I know Paul. [x] 

and during live interviews, where he gets cut off from finishing his point every time. But he seems particularly bothered by the lack of printed lyrics.

JOHN: Little messages that Paul sent to me on Ram. Which, funny, I publish my lyrics you see. He doesn’t, so you have to listen. [x]

It’s tempting to laugh at this, if you think it’d just an excuse for HDYS, or call him kookoo, if you think he’s just obsessed with Paul and reading things that aren’t there. But I find the comments rather curious in light of idea that the Beatles, particularly John and Paul, had a shared language that dates back to when they were kids in Liverpool and was used as late as 1969 as seen in Get Back. By design, the language is used to protect and exclude, so any analysis by outsiders will probably be utterly meaningless. But I thought I’d take it on face value that John was hearing something the average listener couldn’t without printed lyrics to try to understand the root of the anger that drives HDYS.

As a thought experiment, I decided to relisten to Ram for the first time while reading the lyrics, with an eye for words I couldn’t hear (or misheard before) along with album themes. Full disclosure, I’ve always listened to this album while working on something else, so while I may be have seen looked up lyrics for a song or two independently (Too Many People, Back Seat), I didn’t read them while listening to the song or consider them in the context of the full album, all of which create a different experience. I used Spotify’s lyrics function while listening to the 2012 remastered album, so any lyric variations may be Spotify’s fault.

Starting from the top. The album begins with Too Many People, which opens with an indiscernible line that’s a play on words.

Piss off cake-->piece of cake. I had no idea that’s what he was singing at the start. For 20 years, I heard this line as “this I got to say-ay-ay”. That said, “piss off cake” still doesn’t tell us much. I’m with this guess that this phrase is an in-joke turned nasty, like a firing shot John heard right at the start.

Two “mistakes” are mentioned here. The first mistake gets a lot of attention (”going underground”, “took your lucky break and broke it in two”) and is generally attributed to John asking for a divorce/leaving the band, though I question it (see below). But the last mistake is the hidden dagger I never heard without looking up the lyrics:

“I find my love awake and waiting to be...” followed by the stinger chord is an unfinished sentence. The verb ‘be’ is doing all the work, suggesting a missing past participle left unsaid. John is no stranger to using simple verbs to stand in for prohibited ones, as Norwegian Wood and Don’t Let Me Down show. Paul stops just short of making it vulgar, but the implication is there. By making the arena in bed, the suggestion is inherently sexual--not only in the unfinished sentence but also in the 1-minute guitar solo climax that follows, complete with dog howling. This makes the dagger a sexual taunt, and I keep trying to hear other interpretations, but I only hear one: Literally this could have been you in my bed but you blew it and now I have her. Not ever but never again. It’s a closed door. Slammed in your face. Now what can be done for you? as the guitar goes wild. Suggestive of bedroom fun you’re shut off from.

Okay, I can see how that could ignite someone’s anger, especially one prone to jealousy.

The trouble I have with this is timing. If “first mistake” is the divorce meeting (Sept 20) then what is the “last mistake” that deserves this sexual taunt? Paul always talks about the divorce meeting as if John declaring he’s leaving the band and wanting a divorce (from him) as the same moment. Maybe the “first mistake” is mislabeled, as John’s “going underground” wish begins in 1968 with Yoko and his controversial public actions from nude album covers to bagism events (not to mention private actions like covering personal debt and bringing outsiders into the recording studio) that caused a schism at Apple at its crucial first few months. Paul talks about summer 1968 as a difficult time for him, where he felt like everything was falling apart. Dick James their publisher is watching all of this and making business calculations. By March 1969, in the middle of their honeymoons with their wives, he decides to sell Northern Songs.

Would John pinpoint his "first mistake” as Yoko? IDK. He’d know when his relationship with Paul got rocky, at least professionally. They seem to be arguing about this underground direction as early as May 1968 (NYC), perhaps even earlier. In interviews, Yoko seems to focus on this part, which may indicate her feeling it was about her.

But if the “first mistake” is May 1968 and in the realm of music/business/professional, then the “last mistake” is the final straw and it’s personal.

Don’t let them tell you what you want to be

Paul recounts September 20 as if John betrayed him, getting him to sign the EMI contract before telling him he wanted the divorce. Paul felt tricked, like the rug was pulled out from under him. The hidden dagger in the song works the same way.

The second track, 3 Legs, begins innocently enough (When I walk on my horse upon the hill). It seems like empty nonsense until this accusation:

It’s a explicitly John-directed lyric: Paul’s emotional state is caused by John’s actions. I still hear “you let me down” (recalling Don’t Let Me Down) even though the original lyrics sheet says “left” and these printed ones say “laid.” So it’s worth taking a closer look at the rest.

This is a weird lyric taken literally. Paul’s doodling a three-legged thing and a three-legged dog on the lyrics sheet for this song. The dog doesn’t look like any of the dogs they had at the time to my knowledge. Dog could be a stand-in for another word John understood.

I enjoy @jobey-wan-kenobi’s​ idea of “three leg” as surrealist imagery that suggests an off-kiltered scene and reflects the writer’s state of mind. Both John and Paul spoke about being inspired by surrealist art and using it in lyrics to mask.

Didn’t John talk about having a reoccurring dream of flying above the clouds as a kid? I believe he used it to justify his whole egocentric interpretation of Strawberry Fields. But this flying seems the opposite of an ego trip:

He’s so unstable, the listener could knock him down from his flight with a feather.

But you know it’s not allowed

Ram On is the nearest to the title track but only a wisp of a thing, so it gets lost in the attention to Too Many People. I swear every time I hear it, I hear it another way.

Is it about needing love quickly? You’ll take anyone who appears next around the bend? Or is it about the unpredictability or impermanence of love? The someone round the bend coming to take the somebody you just gave your heart to? It shapeshifts, depending on how you approach it. But the second one reminds me of what John says later about love slipping away as soon as you look at it directly, as soon as you try to possess it completely. And hey what was that in 3 Legs?

When I thought, when I thought you was my friend... But you laid me down Put my heart round the bend

That lyrical link suggests the latter option. The earlier question in 3 Legs also fits with this theme of the unpredictability of love.

When I walk, when I walk On my horse upon the hill... Will my lover love me still?

But it may also suggest freedom. To do your own thing outside and then return home with a lover waiting. Like Too Many People. She’s waiting for me...

Big Barn Bed (not released til 1973) is first recorded with other 1970 Ram home recordings. It starts as a coda for Ram On and later becomes its own song. It has a similar “round the bend” line: Who’s that coming round the corner? Will it be my friend?

Which suggests more anticipation than worry but gives the same feeling of unpredictability toward the listener who is also the friend who let him down.

Bug lore is that John thought Dear Boy was for him, though I’m having trouble finding a source on that. I always found it pretty hilarious, as I do think it fits best with Paul’s story that it’s Linda’s ex-husband. The “When I stepped in” part makes sense with that interpretation. But it’s funny to think about John thinking it’s about him:

What’s John hearing Paul say here? I loved you and you didn’t even see it! And you know what, maybe Paul knew John would hear it like that and it was half the fun. It’s not hard to see that Paul identified with Linda’s feeling of being unappreciated in her prior marriage. And it’s common for Paul to start a song about one person or idea and then it becomes transformed into being about something else. Layers are possible in all their songs. John talks about the layers he hears in their old songs in Jan 1969, layers that he didn’t hear when they wrote them. So it’s possible John heard this connection. It may have just made him angry because John suggests elsewhere that he was the one who felt unappreciated and neglected.

However, even with Paul’s interpretation, John still shows up as the reason Paul’s heart was down and out and positions Linda as an antidote:

Oh what a tangled web we weave

When first we practice to deceive

I always filed away Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey as a simple character mashup. But looking at the words, I started to question that. Could Uncle Albert, a real uncle of Paul’s, also act as a stand-in character for someone else? The theme of no one left at home is echoed in Little Lamb Dragonfly, which is home recorded with RAM songs but held back until 1973 Red Rose Speedway.

But the line that follows is a peculiar one. I always thought I was hearing it wrong, surely it is it’s gonna rain. But the lyrics tell me it’s I’m gonna rain:

So could it be a metaphor or stand-in for an emotion like sadness or a visible reaction like crying? Or is it like 3 Leg? More surrealist projection of instability when charting new waters.

The second section, Admiral Halsey, has nautical themes that suggest more than meets the eye. Remember both John and Paul talked about the Beatles as a boat, with John talking about leaving the Beatles as jumping off Paul’s boat and onto Yoko’s boat.

Paul’s delivery of “berth” sounds like “bath” to me, so I can’t see how anyone could pick up this line in full before, except maybe if you knew that’s how Paul pronounces -er- sounds. But it certainly is a suggestive of a metaphor for a significant event. Perhaps about the day that Ringo as the messenger notified Paul about the McCartney release date change (to make room for his own album)? Or more personally, about Paul having to back away from John to make room for Yoko?

But what on earth is butter pie? Wiki tells me it’s a Lancashire-based savory pie of onions and potatoes (so meatless). But my mind goes straight to Penny Lane (finger pies), so I’m just gonna assume it’s something dirty.

Hands across the water, hands across the sky

Linda’s harmonies and backing vocals are just so cool. It had to have gotten to John that she so easily fits into this vocal role next to Paul, especially in the more silly moments featured here. Especially considering humor was such a large component of John and Paul’s relationship.

There’s limitations to printing lyrics though and I get Paul’s right to not print them earlier because sometimes it take away from all the wordplay and double meanings inherent in the sounds of the words. For example, I always heard some of these “smile away”s in Smile Away as “it’s my way,” and so I’m surprised that phrase is never printed in the lyrics:

However, given the double meanings elsewhere, I think it’s worth still considering because "it’s my way” fits into the album theme of not blindly following along and finding your own path.

Don’t let them tell you what you want to be

A lot of focus is on Too Many People as the trigger for How Do You Sleep. But it’s a question directed a line from Heart Of The Country.

I’m gonna get me a good night sleep

It’s the one respite on the whole album and I can see how the image of smug Paul could send John in a writing fury.

Monkberry Moon Delight plays with “ketchup” and “catch up” and both of these appear in the lyrics. But is it beretta the gun or biretta the hat? Or something else? Ram sessions include Oh Woman Oh Why with gun sounds that gets left off the album, and photos from the session show Paul holding a prop gun. There’s also a gun-like object drawn on the Ram back cover. So maybe he did mean the gun. Inclusion of that song would have turned the tone of entire album, from jaunty taunts to serious violence, so it’s the right choice to keep it off. John would only hear the beretta line here with “banana” and the gun on the back cover:

and i don’t get the gist of your letter

Considering John and Paul are sending letters back and forth across 1970, this line sounds like a taunt for John alone. Along with what follows:

don’t get left behind

which makes this...

...another sexual taunt like Too Many People. Haha, look at what you’re missing!

If you’re doubting that, the track order clears it up fast because it’s followed immediately by....

Eat At Home. No explanation required.

It is an outright banger. No way John wasn’t a tad impressed by it. Even if it exudes those aggressive “I am having so much fun with my wife right now and not even thinking of you” vibes that left John shook.

Am I the only one that thought some of these “little lady”s were “lad”s? Paul stresses the -d so the -y sounds silent except for Linda’s backing. The result is pretty...ambiguous at times.

So I’m left thinking it’s a bit odd how this song ends on the negative: don’t do that. If the sexual connotation starts it, it ends with something that sounds unwanted, like it goes too far. A revoking of consent. But is it the lad(y) going too far? Or someone else?

Don’t let them tell you what you want to be

Long Haired Lady is an ode to Linda that starts with a jokey call and response between Paul and Linda and builds into a section that channels The Mamas & The Papas with lush, blissfully layered harmonies:

I’m good up til “win or lose it” but I don’t know if anyone could have heard “into the soul”. I’m not so sure it matters much, but the suggestion seems to be that love continues whether or not you “win or lose” love. That no matter if you are wrong, love is stable, constant. Wait, where have I heard that before?

Generally, I find Back Seat of My Car to be the strangest one for John to think was directed at him (and Yoko?). It’s just so big and sweeping and wasn’t Paul and Linda the one who did the joyriding? But that whole we believe that we can’t be wrong really got to him. He mentions it a lot, sometimes attributing the line to him and Yoko and other times to Paul and Linda about them (”well I believe that you could possibly be wrong!“). It’s a real hangup for John around this time, the idea that Paul is always right and he is wrong. Seeing Paul’s predictive powers, I can see how infuriating it would be after a while, and how comforting it would be to have people around you who counter that, to tell you “no, you are right and he’s wrong.” How it’d make you dig your heels in and work hard to get people off the McCartney bandwagon.

There’s a whole gibberish sounding section not picked up in the printed lyrics that sounds like “everyone’s tried to love her” or “i’m gonna try to love her” sung at an auctioneer’s pacing. You could possibly read something into that depending on what you hear.

Here’s another mention of “my way” after “highway”, suggestive of the idiom “my way or the highway”. The second half of the “looking for a ride” lines I can’t hear even with the lyrics:

“and all I found” would have been my guess.

But if you’re taking everything else as a sexual taunt, looking for a ride could hold a double meaning.

The climatic ending of the song and album is the height of choosing your own way and building your own world:

We believe that we can’t be wrong

A brash assertion of confidence in your own choices? A mocking condemnation of someone else’s choices? Or aggressive positivity to vanquish agonizing about whether you’re right or wrong? Like others on the album, it depends on how you look at it. But the first option fits with the overall album theme, with the third behind it as another layer.

There’s a snowglobe imagery to the feeling of this ending. Swirling and wondrous and heady but also contained and protective and isolated by design, living in this world you’ve built for yourself. You control it to a point while fearing what’s outside, the unpredictability of the future and the unknown of what’s waiting for you around the bend. 

Wrapup

Overall, there’s a story in the album themes. Starting with a declaration of independence and naming mistakes and ending with the denial of wrongness, suggesting your own. From John’s comments, we know he got that part. In between a conditional: if you choose wrong, love is long. Throughout, the main theme is strong, finding your own way and building a new life to push forward, which makes the cover less of a joke and more of an apt metaphor for a precisely crafted album. The pronouns look fairly consistent too, which is a big surprise to me: you are sending hearts around the bend, but she waits for me. There’s double meanings galore with possible sexual taunts as hidden daggers. But, above all, there is the repeated need for love that’s in alignment amidst confusion and miscommunication.

Will my lover love me still? (3 Legs)

Bring the love that you feel for me in line with the love I see (Eat At Home)

Do you love me like you know you ought to do? (Long-Haired Woman)

The trouble with any shared language is what may get lost from the communicator to the listener. If you get 9 out of 10 things but the 10th thing was important for understanding the other 9, the risk of misunderstanding is still huge. So I’m left wondering whether John listened to the album enough in those first 9 days to hear these lines before recording HDYS. He may have regretted venting his anger in more obvious public daggers than Paul’s more hidden ones the more he listened. By September, he knows the album well enough to sing an exact match on the spot.

Undoubtedly, John knew just where to hit because he knew Paul’s weaknesses. He shows that by dragging it into the public sphere. If Paul’s messages are directed at John but subtle or hidden, John’s messages are blatant as neon lights about Paul to the world. There’s an unevenness there that makes us uneasy.

By focusing on John brandishing the dagger so obviously in one song, it’s easy to miss the hidden daggers in Ram along the gems. A concealed dagger can do the same damage. But the overall theme of needing a constant unwavering love is one they ultimately shared, signalling a place where they could find common ground once the anger cleared.

[finalvortex]

Ok, let's talk about Marcy. Dear, sweet, precious Marcy. *sigh*

[EDIT: Future Maltor here. This is a draft of a post I began making two years ago, after True Colors aired. It is unfinished. I have realized that I am never going to finish it properly, so I am posting it as is.]

I want to start with the aspect this time. So, obviously, Marcy's immediately obvious strength is that she is very, very smart. There are two aspects that primarily deal with intelligence, and those are Light and Mind.

Let's consider Light first. Light players are heavily focused on information - they are driven to study and understand new things, as much as possible. A Light player believes that there's nothing in the universe that can't, or shouldn't, be categorised and organised, studied and understood.

In my Sasha post, I talked briefly about how Light players are highly focused on constructing reality as a narrative with themselves at the center. Aranea literally tries to insert herself into the story, Rose defines her entire existence by a rejection of any narrative (ironically, her assertion that people don't have character arcs is the climax of her character arc), and Vriska... is Vriska. Marcy... has this trait too, kind of? But in kind of an unusual way.

To start with, we have to mention the way she treats Amphibia as a whole, as an escapist fantasy. There are people who have said that Marcy treats Amphibia as a game, but, I don't think that's quite accurate. (I was one of them, but that was a theory post that I made before we fully understood her). As a statement, that implies that Marcy sees the inhabitants of the world as characters and not as people. Multiple episodes (The First Temple, Maddie and Marcy, even Scavenger Hunt) clearly demonstrate that's not the case - she shows a lot of empathy, actually!

But there is something to the idea that Marcy sees herself, specifically, as a character in a narrative. That she's, well, roleplaying. When we first meet Marcy, it seems that her time in Amphibia has allowed her to thrive, and to some extent that's true, but in actuality there's something a lot more insidious going on with her desire to help everyone and improve everything. The Chief Ranger, the smart girl, the puzzle solver, the witch... Marcy takes up these roles and identities because she feels that they make her useful, that they make her needed. She's so desperate for the approval of others that she allows herself to be defined by their wants and expectations. Marcy's particular narrative of self is one where she allows other people to define her identity based on their expectations of her. An obsession with fitting herself into other people's narratives, if you will.

So, the fixation on stories, kind of check. Intelligence, check. An association with luck or fortune... it's debatable, but you could argue that Marcy's clumsiness is a kind of misfortune. Ok, Light's looking like a pretty viable contender.

However, there's another element to what makes up Light - and that's truth.

It's become apparent that Marcy has some kind of... well, I'm not a psychologist, so this isn't going to be a diagnosis, but... let's call it separation anxiety. She struggles with making new friends, making connections, to the point where she feels like she's incapable of doing so. So she's utterly desperate to hold on to the friends she does have. Which is why she sends the girls to Amphibia.

[Future Maltor again: Aaaand that's as far as I got with this analysis.

So, my original intention when writing this post was to dismiss Light and Mind and argue that Marcy was actually a Doom player, but in the process of looking through all the evidence, I convinced myself that Light really was her aspect.

As for the class, well... I mean, do I really need to explain why it has to be Rogue? The class that's all about fading into the background?]

[aeshnalacrymosa]

This fic was originally written from 2015 to 2018, but I never posted it anywhere because I left it unfinished when I got close to the climax. I no longer intend to finish it.

When Katniss and Peeta succeed in their suicide at the Hunger Games, Prim becomes the Mockingjay of District 13.

[soongtypehuman]

I am glad my little copywriting exercise didn't come off as too weird lol because it was actually really educational for me, and fun to dive into the words of one of my favorite fics of yours!! i literally send that chapter to people who don't even watch star trek because its just so poetic. it is ART. the tholian silk simile is my undoing

also now that i have a tumblr, i'm super curious to hear how your headcanons on data's ability to feel pleasure have evolved over the years! 👀 because canonically, he can't feel pain or pleasure. i also went back through your non-explicit collection of ficlets and saw you wrote that data couldn't experience climax... fast forward to your latest fic where obviously that is no longer the case (lucky for us!)

I write android-holodeck-bukkake-gangbang-human-pet-reader-inserts. Nothing is too weird for me. You’re safe here lol

So, about that Data climax headcanon. There’s two parts to it…

Earlier in the ficlet collections, the Positronic Rivalry series wasn’t much of a thing yet. If memory serves (and it rarely does), the collections began even before the original PosiRi story. At some point in the collections I made the decision that from that point on they would be part of the series, because that became my focus. So some of those earlier ficlets in the collections don’t line up with PosiRi.

I didn’t even know it was going to be a series until the third installment, because the second story, Unfinished Business, I wrote in a mad frenzy an hour before posting the the original PosiRi finale so that the loose ends with Lore could be tied up.

Now, the second part…

Data’s emotions developed slowly over the original 7 seasons of TNG, proving that he wasn’t emotionless at all, which was later confirmed in Picard. If there’s one thing we can be sure of, it’s that Noonien Soong was dead set on installing and honing those sexual components in his androids, and given that he loved his sons, it’s more likely than not that he would have instilled in them the ability to be pleasured in some way, instead of depriving them of that.

Data had no sexual contact with anyone between Tasha Yar and the Borg queen, so we never got to see how his physical reactions to sensual stimuli would have played out in tandem with his emotional reactions. Data had almost no chances to explore these aspects of himself, and so they would have remained undeveloped.

That’s what I’ve tried to do with PosiRi, having Data experience something analogous to physical pleasure as his emotions develop as well.

And thank you once again for your kind, life-giving comments. I've stopped consuming human food so that I may be fed on these comments alone.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Kaiju and Gaslamp Fantasy

Okay, does anyone know if there’s a story that puts Godzilla in a Gaslamp Fantasy? I mean, besides Girl Genius. (Which has plenty of kaiju, killer robots, reanimated constructs, and lots and lots of toothy Jaeger grins. Awesome.)

Long story short. (Heh.) To make a story work, I need a bunch of things. But the key elements I have to have are the main characters, a shiny start scene, and an even shinier climax scene. Without those, without knowing how the story’s supposed to end, I can’t get it off the ground. I might get a few chapters written, but eventually it fizzles.

(See many unfinished fanfics. Argh.)

So. I have an Idea. It’s got main characters, an opening scene, a scene of drama and danger where they meet for the first time... but it only had a vague idea of a final scene. I knew part of a city was destroyed, but I had no idea how.

So it’s been languishing while I worked on Colors. I wrote down what I had (I’ve written down a lot of ideas!), but without an end scene to aim for I couldn’t get the start to come out right, much less get farther.

Then the other night I stumbled on this.

【FILM】THE CHI DRAGON SLASH 魑龙斩 TRAILER

...Yes, it’s hokey. But the bunnies looked at that and went, “Huh. Why not a giant monster attacking the city?”

It’d definitely be an appropriate videogame-style Final Boss scenario, and that’s important, because the image I have is that this is a videogame world setting. But it’s not a videogame. Which is going to be interesting, trying to build a magic system that makes internal sense, is appropriately Dramatic, and includes both Victorian necromancers and ninja. Hmm. Lovecraft Lite style might fit....

(Yes, I have Lovecraft stuff. He, Robert E. Howard, and a couple other writers in the 1920s and 30s were all playing with the Cthulhu Mythos, and along with Sherlock Holmes, Howards is definitely my jam.)

So. We have sneaky ninja and magical healers treating curses for one end of the scale, and a kaiju for the topper. Means I need to come up with threat levels in-between for the rest of the story. Youkai, fay, yaoguai, angry samurai, angry priests....

But I wouldn’t know I needed these, without knowing what the end threat should be! And you can’t just jump from “near mundane swordsmen in alleys” to “Godzilla Threshold”. The story won’t work.

...Another trick is going to be making sure the two main characters have plenty of excuses to meet and interact, given social status and cultural differences. Well, that’s part of what being a sneaky ninja is for....

Never underestimate cheesy movie trailers!

[fanthirtheen]

Ive only felt comfortable writing endings since being in the Helluva Boss fandom. And I know a lot of people struggle with it, a lot of people have writing memes and shit about struggling to write at all, and I have such the opposite problem. I write constantly, I've got 120 unfinished/ongoing files, 43 finished stories (just for HB), and I think in write word so much better than i do in my own mind. I could never make a stop exclusively in my head that would be any longer than a page maybe two on paper.

But for endings, I find I just write the story until I get all the things I want out, then I reread it and slap on an ending that references the beginning. I make sure the initial hook really is resolved, and I tuck the ending of the story back into the beginning like the last fold of an origami heart.

Why am I bringing this up?

I've got one chapter left to wrap up a story I'm really excited about, because I deescalates the climax of the story too slowly but there were too many important things in the falling action to redo it and cut it all off earlier. So now I've got to do that: re-read my shit and find some loose end I forgot about to hinge the resolution on.

[fohatic]

I was looking at things and randomly remembered that I have never properly screamed at you about Not in Kansas Anymore.

DUDE!!!!!!!!

this fic is just so gooood! so fresh, so different, and so fucking hottttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like I remember being BLOWN AWAY by it when I read it last year - and no I don't think I left a comment...or maybe I did? Idk.

anyway.

thank you so much for writing that gem. I never stop rec'ing it to people, because more people should read this. it's AMAZING!

aww tysm, i'm continually blown away by the response that one got!!

that fic, as mentioned in the notes, came about as an indirect result of my tragically unfinished (but so close!) longfic, tangle of thorns: i was knocking TOT out in record time—total creative flow state—working the smut factor up to a big, frothy mess all set to boil over into a dramatic climax -- when i made the critical mistake (or happy accident, depending on how you look at it) of wandering over to pornhub for a little light research into BDSM (for staging purposes!), only to find a video of a very pretty blond guy getting worked over by a brunet leather daddy with a goatee. my stony brain went into overdrive, and i thought i'd play with the idea in a little side fic just to get it out of my system -- which was how NIKA became a whole thing 😅

it totally derailed tangle of thorns, unfortunately, but the result remains a fan favorite that i can't deny was worth it! someday i really want to write that sequel i've teased in the comments, but in the meantime my MTH 2023 fill for @bulkyphrase is shaping up to have some similar action going on (though this time loki is the dom to a mind-controlled, subservient himbo steve, while tony frets from the sidelines 😈)