#it is so weird nothing is actually wrong I can't really comprehend that shit!

[topazadine]

Okay, okay, here's perhaps my spiciest and most controversial take yet.

Now, before I even say anything, please note that I am talking specifically about fantasy. Not retellings of myths, not historical fiction set in different countries, nothing like that. This is for second-world fantasy, where you're creating a whole different world.

Ready?

Stop making everything so damn complicated!

This is not to say that you can't have a rich and exciting world filled with lore, religion, different societies, traditions, unique geographies. Not that. Of course we want that: it's the whole reason we read fantasy. I'm talking about something else.

This is my simple takedown, and you can read the rest to better understand what I mean:

Stop jamming your story with five billion weird words.

Don't use super complicated nouns.

Keep the characters to a minimum so we can know and like them.

Don't yammer on about all the backstory.

Stop making readers do homework just to understand things.

Focus on the feeling a story gives instead of the intricate worldbuilding.

And lastly, a pre-emptive note to those who are putting their hackles up and telling me why they are an exception.

Why is it important to keep things simple?

A lot of people shy away from fantasy because they assume that every fantasy story is going to be so complicated that their head will hurt. Not in terms of plot - many people like complicated plots - but in terms of terminology and history. Things that ultimately don't really matter to the plot.

We as writers often assume that everyone cares about our story as much as we do and is equally captivated by every detail. This is simply not true.

To your reader, your story is not their life's work: it is entertainment that they want to be able to enjoy at their leisure. It's a distraction from their difficult lives and all their real-world frustrations. If they get really into it and, say, write fanfic or whatever, that's amazing! But they're not likely to do that if they feel like they'll be jumped on for doing something wrong or that they have to include every single little detail.

For example, I wrote over 1 million words of Touken Ranbu fanfic. Touken Ranbu, at its heart, has a very simple premise: you've got a bunch of legendary swords that were turned into hot men and fight evil time-traveling monsters. You can understand it with just that. There are layers to it, though, that you can slowly untangle. That makes for good writing because it works on multiple levels depending on how much you care about it.

I would have given up on the story if I felt like I needed a dictionary just to understand the plot. Most people would. Language needs to be accessible and premises need to be clear, or no one is going to want to go deeper.

Subtle little details that people can pick up are way more enjoyable than tossing every single factoid at people so that they feel overwhelmed and can't think. It's wonderful to have rich layers of symbolism, mythology, etc. That's excellent. But you can only get people to care about those things if they can actually comprehend your damn story.

A lot of the things that turn people off from fantasy are all about a writer's ego, and it oozes through the work. People can tell that you're wanting them to pat you on the back for putting so much shit in your story. It's annoying and a total turn-off when you make readers work so hard to comprehend what you're saying.

So what exactly am I talking about? This.

Using made-up terms for everything that could easily be explained with a normal English word

When I am writing fantasy, I imagine myself as a translator. After all, my made-up societies have their own made-up language (Seinish) that is referenced a few times.

However, I'm not using Seinish words all the time. I'm writing in English. I didn't write out a Seinish dictionary or even come up with most of the terms because, honestly? Most readers don't care. They want to understand what's going on in as simple of terms as possible, with only a few specific terms that remind us that we're somewhere different.

I may use some specialized terminology, but it's always couched in context clues that make us aware of what it is without actually having to just say "sdlkjfslkdjf, also known as a marketplace."

For example, in The Eirenic Verses, the High Poet Society has religious centers called meronyms. (Which actually isn't a made-up word.) We know they're religious centers because we see all the religious leaders living there. Someone sees the term "meronym" and goes "oh yeah, that's the religious place" and moves on.

It's one of the only confusing, specialized terms in the book other than place names, which people expect whenever they're reading fantasy. Because of that, it stands out and is easy to remember. It's not one of 1029310283012830132 different terms someone has to remember in order to follow along.

Even Tolkien, famed for literally writing an entire extra book full of lore for his stories, doesn't really use that much specialized terminology except for place names. My favorite author, China Mieville, only uses specialized terminology for things that have absolutely no basis in our reality and that can't be explained otherwise. And he's an extremely eloquent guy who uses the weirdest words possible whenever he can. If he can write a book that's mostly comprehensible without a cheat sheet, you can too.

If there is an English term for what you are trying to explain, just use that, for the love of god. The point of writing a story is not to show how smart and special you are: it is to tell a story. You need to remove as many barriers to access as possible.

Things that get a pass and can be made up most, if not all, of the time:

Place names (as in specific places, not categories of things)

Peoples' names

Languages

Species that don't exist in our world

Modes of transportation that don't exist in our world

Magic that can't be explained in any other way

Technology that can't be defined by our language

Look, if you have an animal that is basically a dragon, just call it a dragon. If you've got a wheeled carriage, call it a carriage. Call earth magic something based in earth terms, like "terravitae" or something, idk. There should be some connection to our world in your terminology because you are writing this in English for an English-speaking audience.

It doesn't make you a lazy writer, it makes you one that wants people to understand what you're talking about. Again, imagining yourself as a translator is a good way to keep yourself from going ham on the nouns.

Proper nouns that are way too complicated

Let's look at some well-known proper nouns from fantasy.

Middle Earth

Narnia

Earthsea

Discworld

Westeros

Ankh-Morpork

Bas-Lag

Wonderland

They're all ... simple. They're not a million syllables with weird intonations and accents and all that. If you showed this to a medieval peasant, they'd probably be able to pronounce them and would likely understand that they were place names.

Unless there's a good reason to have a weird name, don't use one. Come up with something simpler.

All of these I mentioned are three syllables or less, making them easier to remember. In fact, I'd argue that nearly every proper noun in your book should be no more than three syllables. Maybe one or two four-syllable ones.

Any very weird name should be balanced out by several easier ones so that it stands out.

40 million characters

Younger writers often want their world to feel very lived in, so they introduce dozens of characters with their own names, descriptions, backstories, etc etc etc. The problem is that this is a huge mental load on your reader, especially if a lot of the characters have very similar names. It makes reading your stuff into a chore rather than an enjoyable experience.

Now, some literary greats do have a lot of characters. But they get away with it because they're great.

I'm not great, so I don't do that.

I'd also suggest that you don't do that, regardless of how good you think you are.

To see if you have too many chracters, write out a dramatis personnae and rank it in terms of importance. Does your top tier have like 15 characters? Cut some. Figure out where they are in the story and if they don't exist for more than a few pages, delete them. Absorb them into someone else.

If a character is only in one scene, don't bother naming them. They don't matter enough. This reduces the cognitive load for your reader because they can see that character for what they are: a background person who exists only briefly.

Any time you name a character, they need to have deep plot relevance. The more unusual your character's name, the more important they should be. And they should have some sort of relationship to another character, preferably the main character. Otherwise, why are they there? Why do we care? Go away!

Way too much backstory

I am an adult and my brain is filled with 50 million other things. I have to remember stuff for my job, I have a to-do list, I have family I care about who needs me.

Your story is not the end-all be-all of my existence. Hell, my story is not the end-all be-all of my existence either. I want to be able to pick up your book, understand what's going on, and then delve a bit deeper or even make up my own headcanons.

I do not need the entirety of your story's world thrown at me right off the bat. It is overwhelming and tiring. Imagine if you visited a different country and someone immediately came up to you and started spewing the whole history of the country right after you stepped off the plane. That's what you're doing to your readers!

Think also about how you approach your everyday world. Do you reel off a million facts about your personal history the instant you meet someone? No, of course not. It'd be weird and creepy.

Are you constantly recalling facts about your city while walking down the street? Do you even know any major facts about your city? You probably know a few little trivia points and that's it. Because it's not relevant to you, and it's not relevant to your readers, either. I can't recall off the top of my head when Cleveland was settled, but I can tell you that we have the world's first Dunkleosteus fossil in our museum, because that is interesting to me. That's the kind of thing that makes a place feel lived-in, not four hundred thousand pages of exposition about the place's history.

Give your readers time to settle in, and reveal things slowly as they make sense. Maybe we hear a little bit about the country's government as they pass a parliament house, or because they have to visit the city center for a different reason. If it's not pertinent to the current scene, then don't put it there.

I've got tons of lore for my world. Some of it may be referenced one singular time, and some of it may be never referenced at all. That's okay, because it's just for me to get a better sense of the place I created. If a reader doesn't need it, then I don't bother putting it in, because it might detract from their enjoyment.

Overall: stop making your readers do homework!

We do not want our readers to feel like they are working when they are reading our stuff. Excellent writers can infuse deep themes and symbology into their stories without making it feel like work. These are the writers who are remembered forever, because not only have they made a good story that you can enjoy at a surface level, but they have also twined in deeper themes that you can dive into after you've digested the story.

I did my undergrad in British literature, so I read a lot of Shakespeare and contemporaneous authors. Shakespeare is considered complicated by modern standards because of the Elizabethan language, but if you translated it into modern terms, his stories are simple. People betray each other and stab each other, or fuck each other, or get transported to weird magical worlds.

You could watch a Shakespeare play and think absolutely nothing of the themes, but still enjoy the story. You could know absolutely nothing about Greek history and still get the gist.

This is because Shakespeare specifically wrote his plays to appeal to a mass audience. He was a god-tier author when it came to balancing symbology and plot. To be like Shakespeare, be simple. Remember that your reader does. not. really. care. all that much. They don't.

It's very unlikely that your writing is going to become someone's life's work and they're going to spend their whole existence studying. Cool if true, but unlikely.

Your job is to make a story that people like and want to read. Only when you've gotten people liking and reading do you get permission to go ham with the backstory and the characterization and the weird names, because they trust you to create a story that they will like. Otherwise, your primary objective is making people feel things so they want to feel more things and read more stories.

People care more about how a story makes them feel than the specifics

Yes, of course there are outliers to this who really want every single detail of the world, but those are few and far between. You should not tailor your story to these exceptions. Think about the average everyday person.

I have many books that I love, but I can't tell you everything about them now. I can, however, tell you how I felt when I was reading them: the plot twists that made me gasp, the thing that made me cry. I can give you a general, sweeping impression of whether I liked or disliked the story and what made me feel something. This is what people recommend books based on: how they felt.

Your story should focus on the plot and the emotion. People watch movies, listen to music, read books, or look at art to feel something, not to memorize factoids for later usage. Even if they do want to memorize factoids, they won't do that if they haven't built an emotional connection to the story.

While in life, we want facts over feelings, it's opposite in creative writing. We want feelings over facts. The emotional resonance, the mood, the characters, the plot: that is what is important, not showing off how smart you are and how much you have thought about your story.

"But Topazadine, I am special and different! I'm not going to follow your advice."

Sure. Go ahead. I can't stop you. If you want to have a million characters and an entire dictionary to explain everything, that is your choice.

No one can tell you how to write; my advice is just advice.

If you don't like what I have said here, then feel free to ignore it. You don't need to justify it to me or anyone else.

However, you must recognize that this may not resonate with readers. It will turn people off.

I'm not a completionist, and neither are many others; they'll roll their eyes and click out when they are faced with ten pages of character names upfront.

Of course you should always write for yourself first, but if you are planning to write fiction for any level of commercial appeal and you intend to make any amount of money on your work, then audience does matter. If you want kudos or comments on your AU, audience matters. You won't get engagement if you are alienating people.

Your writing decisions are always your own and no one can demand you do something different. You just need to decide whether your personal satisfaction in writing your story in a certain way outweighs your desire for validation, and, perhaps, money. I can't tell you the answer for that; it's up to you.

If you enjoyed this, maybe you'll consider reading my fantasy book, 9 Years Yearning, which does not have 121238103 characters and 3230123 strange words. It does, however, have double-tsundere-mutual-pining-gay-boy-awakening. And horses. It's also just $3.

[skzhua]

you are my safe haven ('your eyes' series)

♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."

pairing: lee minho x reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: 10,529

warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).

summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he was roasting the shit out of you, or he was flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?

a/n: this one took me so long to write, but it might be my favourite one ever. i just fucking love lee minho, lmao. i'm so sorry for not posting as regularly as i used to, i'm very much struggling with school and other, but i'm trying my best! anyway, enjoy~

SERIES MASTERLIST

You and Chan met when your parents used to live across from each other. Being a year apart only, it made things easy for the both of you to get along. You had gone through everything together whether it was growing up, changing schools, making friends, etc. The last big step you had taken together was moving on your college's campus. You roomed with a nice but shy healthcare student, Youngmi. Although she wasn't a social butterfly like Chan was, she grew more at ease with you as time passed.

Another semester starting meant more homework and less free time, and that involved no more nights out with Chan at the local diner. Over the holidays, his friend, Minho, had started to come to your usual hangouts. Nothing against him, but his presence did affect your relationship with Chan. Your crush on him had only been growing since college started and Minho's presence wasn't much of an help if you wanted to confess at some point. Anyway, it's not like you could tell Chan that his friend was causing you problems when really he was doing nothing wrong.

Your first day was finally over. Checking your message app, you saw nothing from Chan. Weird, since he would always answer you. Your last class was with Minho, and after you had put everything in your bag, he was still at his desk, not having moved a bit other than jamming to his music.

"Minho, can you not?"

The man acted as if he had heard nothing and went on with humming happily to the song he was listening to. Despite how much your friendship with him had improved, he remained one of the few people you would give away to Satan to save yourself with no hesitation.

"Min." you tried again, but you were left with no response.

Out of impatience, you snatched his earphones out of his ears, resulting to Minho spatting out one insult after the other. "I was vibing, you moron! You're seriously no fun, weirdo."

"Wow, I'm so affected by your lame insults." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm going soft on you, kitten."

And here it was again, the sudden shift from insults to flirts. Quite honestly, you never understood how he managed to pass from one another so smoothly, nor could you comprehend how it took you by surprise each time. But that's what Minho is, a flirty jerk who loves to provoke.

"Why are you so pressed, anyway?" he asked as he lazily followed you out of the class.

"We're going to the diner, remember?"

"I forgot, actually. See, that's why I need you around." he winked, but you dismissed his antics.

"Chan hasn't replied to my messages yet, it's not like him."

"It's the first day of school, I bet he has hundreds of meetings."

He was surely right, but you learnt with time to not base your thoughts off of Minho's because he never cared about anything other than himself. And right now, he didn't give a damn about Chan not replying to you.

"I don't know, should I call Bin to see if he's with him?"

Minho deadpanned at you. "Are you his mom or something? He's fine, probably just busy. Plus, I'm here. Can't you enjoy my company for once?"

You sent him a disgusted look, unimpressed, as you went outside. That's when, from afar, you saw your best friend. He was as handsome as ever, still wearing his oversized black clothes, and laughing cutely. And he was laughing with a girl. You had literally never seen her before, though you were convinced to know everyone in Chan's social circle.

"I told you he's okay." Minho huffed.

"Sure." you replied, unfocused. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"

You passed your bag to him, not letting him protest, and you ran to Chan to hug him from the back. He was startled for a bit, until he realized you were the one who took him by surprise.

"Hey, there!" he smiled widely before hugging you back tightly, ruffling your hair in a sweet manner. "I haven't seen you all day, where were you?"

"Class... And the best out of this is that I get to finish the day with Lee Minho." you fake-gagged.

"He's not that bad, just a bit annoying." he chuckled. "How was it, other than that?"

"Fine, I suppose. I just really don't want to be back in class. The teachers went over their planned projects, and I wanted to shoot myself just then."

"Don't say that, you'll do just fine. I know it." he said, rubbing your back.

"Thanks, Channie." you blushed a little.

Chan soon realized he had been ignoring his new friend since you appeared. "Y/N, this is Eunhee. She's in my sound art practices class. Eunhee, this is my best friend, Y/N."

You ignored the pang in your heart from the label he used for you, but still greeted the girl sweetly. "Hi! Happy to meet you!"

"Likewise." she replied, seemingly uneasy by your presence despite her polite smile. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

You turned your attention to Chan expectedly, but his answer crushed you a bit. "No, no. I'll show you." he hurried to tell her, before looking at you sadly. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

You tried your very best to hide your disappointment, but let's say it wasn't much of a success. "Yeah, sure. Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?"

He brought you in his arms again, kissing the top of your head as some sort of apology. You felt down enough, you didn't want to break your façade in front of him. So you hurried to join Minho back, who had patiently waited for you at the same spot. He frowned upon seeing your glossy eyes, but you didn't let him question it. You took your bag from him and started to walk to the diner immediately. However, Minho was stubborn. He sped his pace up to catch up with your own and fixated his gaze on you. You attempted to ignore it, but he can be very intimidating when he wants to be.

"What?" you snapped at him, annoyed.

"You like Chan."

You stopped on your tracks and looked at him incredulously. "You're seeing things."

He scoffed as he stopped walking as well. "Please." he elongated the word. "You're almost drooling at the sight of him. And when he's not with us, you only talk about him."

"I don't drool! And I talk about him because we barely have anything in common."

He smirked. "Now, now, kitten. You barely know anything about me, how can you be so sure?"

"You're a pain in the ass." you groaned, starting to walk again.

He followed closely as he laughed alone. "This is a fact, though. We barely talk about anything else than Chan. You must like him, then."

"Then talk about something else, if it bothers you that much."

He paused for a second, trying to think of any moment you two had without mentioning the older man. He could not think of a single one. He had tried to get to know you on many occasions, but Chan would always end up being the main topic. He had noticed way before today that you had a crush on Chan, but he thought it wasn't his place to bring it up. However, today was different. He was sick of seeing you check him out from afar and do nothing about it, so he thought of giving you a little push. Clearly, you were more stubborn than he initially thought.

"Do you actually want to talk with me?"

You let out a chuckle. "I mean, sure?"

"You don't seem sure."

"Like you said, we don't know much about each other, other than our mutual friend."

You reached the diner and opened the door to let Minho in first. He didn't wait for you to sit at the usual table you would be at with Chan. You joined him quickly, and he sent you a sly smirk.

"What is it now?" you breathed out.

"I want to talk."

You shrugged your shoulders, acting uninterested. "Please do."

"Do you even remember my cats' names?"

The question was unexpected for your part. In all of the things he could have brought up, you expected school, life experiences or hobbies, but certainly not his cats.

"I do, actually." you proudly responded, and he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm telling you, I remember!"

"What are they?"

"Soonie and Dori."

He gasped, putting a hand on his chest to enhance the dramatization of his reaction. "How dare you forget about my beloved Doongie?"

"My bad." you nonchalantly shrugged.

"You're such a bad friend."

"Are we even friends, Min?" you huffed.

"I only allow certain people to call me Min, actually."

You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but Chan entering the place interrupted you. For the first time in your life, you wished he hadn't come join you so soon. He said hi to Minho briefly, before coming to sit down next to you. The server soon came to take your orders, and you asked for your usual burgers.

"Who was your little friend?" Minho asked Chan on purpose, resulting to getting a death stare from you.

"Eunhee. She just tranferred here, so I was showing her around. She's very nice, actually. She even writes lyrics like me! I read some of it, and she's got some talent."

Hearing him talk about someone else with so much praise did not feel good. Nonetheless, you smiled along Chan's talk and pitched in the conversation from time to time.

"I'm sure the two of you would get along well." he finished his monologue about the girl.

"Yeah, she sounds fun."

The night came to an end quickly, and Minho insisted on paying for the food, despite Chan's protests. You were walking to your dorm, when Chan had to go a separate way since he wasn't living close to you. He hugged you good night, and was off to go home.

Minho kept quiet as he walked you home. He didn't mind since his building was next to yours. Although the silence was enjoyable, he felt like something was off. You were acting as if he wasn't there and he couldn't help but notice when you sniffled discreetly.

"You like him that much, uh?"

Not in the mood for his teasing, you groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Min."

"I'm genuinely asking." You hesitated, not sure if you should be telling him about this. "Hey, I'm serious."

He stopped you and put his hand on your shoulder. While Minho was never one for physical contact, you did know he would not think about it twice when it comes to his close ones. Apparently, he did care about you more than you thought. For some reason, you trusted him enough to tell him. Probably because it was becoming too much of a burden that you needed to confide in someone.

"I'll always be a little sister in his eyes, right?"

He didn't actually expect you to say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised you did. "Depends, things like this can change, you know."

"You don't get it. I've tried for years to get this man's attention, and the moment he meets Eunhee, he seems infatuated with her..."

"For years?"

You nodded your head slowly, ashamed to have been looking at the same man for that long. It's not like you did not try, you actually dated here and there. Nonetheless, Chan was always the one to pick you up after each breakup.

"Rough." Minho simply said.

You ended up changing subjects, as he started to spill out about his cats. He said he rented a dorm for himself so he could have his babies with him, and that he did not think it through when bringing in his third one. Especially because Dori has so much more energy than the two others.

"Thanks, Min." you said as you came to the front door of your building.

"For?"

"I don't know. For being there."

"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "Good night, Y/N."

"Good night."

You really tried to make Youngmi feel at ease around your friends, and mutiple times. The girl had not much interest in coming out of her shell. You understood that, but her having been in college for a year already, you would have expected her to open up more. Still, her befriending you was already a success.

"This is, like, the only free break I have this week, so enjoy while I'm here." Chan laughed out as he headed towards the cafeteria.

"What if I don't?" you joked.

"Then you are revoked from any bestie privileges. No more driving you home after a night out."

You gasped as to seem shocked. "Who would tuck me in and treat my hangover, then?"

"Youngmi can do that." he shrugged as he nodded his head towards the girl walking next to you.

She didn't say anything as she looked at you in confusion. "What?"

"Nevermind." you sighed.

"Hey, Y/N, look." You followed to where Chan was pointing as he tugged your side, and your eyes landed on Eunhee and Jeongin sitting at a table. "We should join them."

"I don't think we should do that." Youngmi spoke.

"I thought you knew Jeongin and get along with him well."

"We don't want to impose ourselves." you added.

"It can't be too bad. Plus, Eunhee is very easygoing. Let's go."

No matter what you were going to say, you knew Chan was not going to change his mind. You forced yourself to follow him, and Youngmi had the same expression on her face. When you reached the two others, Jeongin's face turned red as his gaze stuck on Youngmi.

"Hey." she waved at him shyly.

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan asked, although he was already sitting down.

"Go ahead." Eunhee replied kindly.

Hesitant, you still sat down and started to eat. Chan began to discuss with Jeongin while the remaining three of you kept quiet. You and Eunhee exchanged some glances, and you felt bad for being so on the edge around her. She hadn't done anything other than being friendly, and it wasn't fair from you to give her the side eye.

Looking around, you tried to find Minho in the crowd. You spotted him quickly, but he did not see you as his eyes were set on someone else. More specifically, Byeol, his ex-girlfriend. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging obvious glares. You were starting to wonder why he even sat with her, since he had previously told you he doesn't like to think about her. You observed the two of them for a bit, until they shifted glares into smiles. What the hell was happening?

"Youngmi." you turned to your friend. "Don't you think it's weird he's hanging out with her?"

The girl shrugged, since she didn't know them that much. "It looks normal to me."

You then heard someone choke, which turned your attention to Eunhee, who was coughing like crazy. As Jeongin attempted to make her feel better, you took out a napkin and wiped off the water she had spilled. She gave you a small smile, thankful.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" she said after she stopped coughing.

"She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

You hadn't noticed that Chan was the one she was talking to, until he answered. Tutoring? Wasn't he busy enough already? You chuckled as you thought this was an horrible idea, and Eunhee did the same, visibly seeing this as ridiculous as you were.

"What's funny?" he asked Jeongin, not sure to have caught on what made you two laugh.

The young man shrugged, not very interested in the conversation. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." Eunhee groaned at Chan, seemingly not happy with what she was hearing. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

“Come on, Chan. We’re barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself.”

“Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing.”

She gave you a look, almost pleading for your help, but you really didn't know what to tell her. So you shrugged your shoulders, and turned back to Youngmi to continue chatting.

“I’ll think about it…” you heard Eunhee say.

Lunch time went on pretty quickly. Youngmi had class, so you walked with her to her course. Your day was pretty much over, and you were planning to hang out with the boys for the evening. But nights at the diner shifted to you and Minho being alone while Chan needed to attend the student association meetings. Either that, or he was too tired and wanted to rest.

Unlike what you would have expected, it didn't affect you as much. Minho was much different than your best friend, there was no doubt. His weird behaviour, though, was odd enough to make you forget that Chan had pretty much abandoned you. He was still consistent with his texts, but you barely actually saw him around, today being an exception.

You joined Minho in front of the restaurant, and didn't bother waiting for Chan since you knew it would only be the two of you. He started to talk about his day and other fun things. But honestly, your focus was not cooperating as you were mostly in your thoughts.

"No, but can you blame anyone? Hyunjin's butt is great." Minho went on with his story-telling.

You mixed your milkshake with your straw in boredom, as you nodded along Minho's talk. "Yeah yeah, Hyunjin's butt is nice."

He raised an eyebrow, offended by your lack of commitment in this one-way discussion. "You're not listening."

"I am! I just told you Hyunjin's butt is nice!"

"Y/N, you've never seen the guy." he rolled his eyes at you.

"That is untrue!" you raised your finger to point at him in defense. "He's the one looking like he was made by angels, right?"

Minho scoffed, a smirk forming. "That would be me, princess." His cockiness almost got to you as you were at loss of words. "And we both know my ass is cuter."

You snorted at his statement. To be fair, you had checked his ass once, and there was no denial that he had a good one. You were not going to feed this ego of his, however. Just then, a ping was heard from your phone.

Chan: Hey! Changbin and I would like to have a little gathering with the others tomorrow. You in?

Y/N: If that means I can finally see you, yes!

Chan: I'm so sorry about that! I had so many meetings and so much work to do. It's supposed to be mostly done, though, so hopefully we can see each other more from now on.

Y/N: Otherwise, I'm complaining to the school that I want my best friend back.

Chan: Stop, you know I'll never leave you.

Chan: See you tomorrow?

Y/N: See you tomorrow.

"Something tells me Channie's the one you're texting." Minho teased.

"Shut you. I could say the same with you texting Byeol earlier."

This spilled out of your mouth without you thinking. You did not understand why it bothered you this much when he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of your night together. It was surely because it was impolite to be on your phone when you're hanging with someone already. Though, you just did the same and he was not bothered at all.

Minho blinked a few times as his eyes were set on you, before he breathed out a huff. "What do you mean?"

You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself. "I-I... She and you were- I meant, earlier today-"

He grinned at your sudden change in attitude. He rarely saw you shy or embarrassed, because you were rarely in this kind of state and also because you were good at hiding your emotions. To say he didn't like it would be a lie. You were damn adorable with the flush on your cheeks, and he had to suppress himself from slipping out a comment about it.

"You were definitely not listening to me earlier, then." You frowned before gesturing for him to continue. "The whole butt thing was because Byeol had accidentally texted me instead of her friend, and she was complimenting Hyunjin's ass in that message. That's why I was laughing then."

"Oh." you breathed out as you nodded your head slowly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I smile much more when you're texting me." he winked.

"Now, for real, you need to shut up."

Being the first one to get to Chan's dorm, you made yourself at home as you sprawled across his couch, scrolling through your social medias. Chan had plans with Minho and would be coming home with him later, so you hadn't seen him yet. Changbin, however, was there.

"Do you think this is a good plan?" he sighed loudly.

Frankly speaking, you had not listened to one word he said since you were too focused on replaying the cat video Minho had just sent you. "Uh? Yeah. It's an excellent plan." you replied nonchalantly, before chuckling at the video again.

"And, you were not listening." Changbin let out a sigh. "Is this Minho's cat?" he asked, upon seeing the ginger feline on your phone.

"Yeah. Soonie fell off this morning while he was filming him. Poor kitty, but this is quite hilarious. Especially Minho panicking and running to save his child." you went on to explain, a smile still on your face.

"You have it for Minho, now?"

You froze in action from his words. "What?"

He realized that, maybe, he shouldn't have said anything as he scratched his head while awkwardly chuckling. "Forget it."

The doorbell rang and Changbin almost ran to the door to open it. He let Chunhwa in before giving her a big hug. She had brought drinks for the evening, so she straight went to put them in the refrigerator.

"Hey, Y/N!" she waved at you.

"Hi." you smiled. "What did you get for us?"

She raised a pack of beer and a bottle filled with a dark-coloured liquid. "Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." she shrugged as she put them down, and pulled a Fanta out of her grocery bag. "And I got this for our Jisung."

"About that." Changbin started. "He won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."

Last time you hung out all together, Hwayoung had went on a date before joining you and was looking like a wreck. Jisung had to comfort her in Chan's room, and let's say some stuff happened.

"Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." you said as you got up to take it from your friend's hand.

Soon enough, the guys came back after they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. While Changbin had already placed the board game on the table, Chunhwa took the time to help Chan out with preparing the ramen soups he bought. Minho sat next to you and thanked the girl as she gave him the food.

"Where is Jisung?" he asked as he started to dig into his soup.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin answered, which made you feel bad for him.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." you breathed out before the entire room nodded in agreement.

"You're one to say that." Minho said as he nudged your arm.

You glared at him before hitting his arm playfully. You only hoped Chan didn't get what he meant by that. The evening continued as you all picked your pawns to play. You conversed simultaneously since it had been a while since you saw each other. Changbin and Chunhwa were being painfully obvious about their crushes on each other, and Minho kept on bugging you, claiming you were cheating.

"I talked with Eunhee." Chan said, clasping his hands together which took you aback.

"And?" you frowned.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would."

Your heart sank. No matter when you would talk with him, he always brought her up. Even if you took your feelings out of the situation, it almost looked as if he wasn't your best friend anymore and it hurt. You felt Minho putting a hand on your thigh, probably to bring you some kind of support.

You forced yourself to smile, before managing to say a small "That's great."

You could see that Chan noticed your lack of enthusiasm, but he went on nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." you coughed out as you felt a lump forming in your throat, and Minho was quick to notice as he tightened his grip on you slightly. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho." The boy shot his head up immediately. "Do you mind helping me get some medicine?"

"No, of course." he assured before standing up and offering his hand to help you up.

He gave you a worried smile as you came face to face with him. You didn't know when it started exactly, but he had started to let himself be more vulnerable around you. You almost never saw him having any sort of emotions. Seeing him care this much about you made you feel both weirded out and safe.

Chan watched the scene happen in front of his eyes and frowned in confusion. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." you immediately shut him up. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."

The poor guy was left even more confused when Minho took you away, bringing you to the bathroom. You both closed the door and you stood in front of each other for a moment without saying anything. While he was waiting for you to talk, you genuinely just wanted to enjoy his presence. But as the silence grew, Minho finally decided to break it.

"You could have asked Chunhwa to help you." he said, since he didn't why exactly you chose him to comfort you.

You shrugged, not too sure either. "You were the first person I thought of at the moment. I mean, you had a pretty strong grip on my thigh."

He coughed awkwardly, his ears turning red. "I see. And yeah, sorry about that.

"It's okay. It kind of helped, actually." you admitted.

Another silence took over, but he was the first to speak again. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Your eyes widened at his proposition. "Are you crazy? Don't do that."

"No, I won't tell him about your crush, or whatever. I can mention to him that it's annoying that he only talks about her." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Min, we both only talk about Chan whenever we are together." you stated the obvious. "I bet you are more annoyed about that."

"Fair enough, but you don't bring up how talented and amazing he is every two seconds."

You laughed at this, and it visibly made Minho relax. If he managed to make you smile a little, that was good enough for him.

"Still, you don't need to do that. It's just as if I'm losing a friend, that's all."

"Do you want to go back home? I can walk you there."

You hummed quietly while nodding a yes slowly. "Actually, yes, that would be nice."

He took a step closer before rubbing the side of your arm, not forgetting to replace the hair that had fallen onto your face as well. "Then, we shall take you home, princess."

You hoped he didn't feel your heartbeat fasten its pace, nor your heavy breathing. He was never a physical person, and his touch felt electrifying. You knew damn well he was only doing this for you to feel better about your whole situation with your best friend, but you were starting to wonder if a part of him actually enjoyed these kinds of moments.

Your train of thoughts was stopped when he let go of you to open the door again, letting you walk out first. As you joined the others, you saw Changbin and Chunghwa being in their own world, and Chan giggling at his phone, most likely texting Eunhee. Oddly enough, it did not pain you as much as it did earlier. Somehow, feeling Minho's body hovering behind you in a protective way compensated.

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." you said to nobody in particular.

Chan let go of his phone, while the two others simply gave you a thumbs up before going on with whatever they were doing. "This early?" Chan asked.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." you attempted a smile.

Chan stood up and joined you at the front door, concern all over his face. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

You shook you head as a no before gesturing to the man standing behind you. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he trailed off before he gave you a tight hug. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" you addressed to the others.

You were quick to leave, and you felt bad Minho had to keep up with your fast walking. Nonetheless, he didn't complain and you found yourself outside of the building soon, breathing in the fresh air.

"What are you going to do for the rest of your night?" Minho asked.

You pondered for a minute, trying to figure out the options in your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't know. Knowing Youngmi, she's already sleeping. That means I can't do much other than sleep too."

"Are you tired?" he asked, and you answered with a no. "My place is close to yours, if you want to hang out."

You never went over at his, meaning you never met his cats. This was a good opportunity to get some cuddles with them, that only if Minho allowed you.

"Do I get to snuggle with Soonie, Doongie and Dori?"

He frowned. "Who do you think you are? Some privileged woman? The cats are off-limit." To that, you pouted at him. "Y/N, no."

"You want to me to feel better or not?"

"You seem to be doing good, now."

"Min, pretty please." you whined like a child.

He let out a sigh, deadpanning at you. "Fine. Not more than an hour of cuddles, though."

Feeling victorious, you took his hand and dragged him rapidly to his dorm. He almost fell from your sudden excitement, which took him by surprise. You were especially strong for someone who barely did anything else than study and work. At his building, he took the lead since you didn't know where he lived exactly. He let you inside first, being the well-mannered man he is, and you were greeted by an orange ball of floof who was visibly confused upon seeing someone who is not Minho.

"Doongie." he said before pointing to the other orange cat who was sitting on the cat tree in the corner of the room. "Soonie. And I have no idea where Dori is."

"You sent me so many photos of them, I would have recognized them without your help."

He sent a glare your way. "Just be grateful you get to meet them."

"Yes, thank you, Min." you laughed before crouching down to pet the cat. "Hello, Doongie." you cooed at him.

Minho huffed at the sight. His cat seemed to be liking you a lot. He went to Soonie, only to see Dori jumping on the cat tree to join his brother. He patted their heads lovingly. At least, he still had those two who didn't betray him. However, he realized he spoke too soon when you joined him to scratch the cats' bellies.

"You traitors." he muttered at his children. "It looks like they love you more than me."

"I'm just that much likeable." you teased.

"Sure you are, kitten."

Your eyes widened as realization hit you. "You call me kitten because of your cats?"

"Why else?" he shrugged as if it was nothing. "I like cats and I like you. This is only logical."

Your eyes went even wider, your heartbeat pacing faster. Did he just tell you he liked you? The Lee Minho who was known to be the most detached person on Earth, the one who never showed his true emotions?

"You like me?" you breathed out.

He rolled his eyes at you. "You're my friend, of couse I like you."

Oh. He meant that kind of liking. You were not certain on why it disappointed you so much. You thought you liked Chan. Well, you did, but ever since Minho came in the picture, you didn't know if you were starting to lie to yourself about your feelings for your best friend.

"Wow, Minho is finally admitting he actually likes having me around."

"Don't let it get into your head too much. This only happened because Chan's busy." he scoffed as he walked to the cupboard in his kitchen. "Now, do you want to feed the kitties?"

You didn't think twice before hopping to join him. You helped him serve the cat food and put it on the ground. You observed them eat together, as you petted their backs. He was babying Dori and Doongie, while you were spoiling Soonie with scratches. Needless to say, you felt like you were two parents watching over their children. And it felt strangely comfortable. If someone told you months prior that you would be in Minho's apartment, feeding his cats, and feeling like you wished it'd be like this all the time, you would not believe them. Because you couldn't quite believe it at this instant.

"Did you want to do something in particular?" you asked after the cats were done eating.

"Hmm." he hummed, thinking for a moment. "We could watch a movie. I have some drinks if you want to do that while watching."

"Sounds good to me."

You opted for a comedy movie while Minho prepared the popcorn and the drinks. You both had already drank a little when you were at Chan's, but some more couldn't hurt. Mid-way through the film, you were already feeling tired and tipsy. Way more than tipsy. Of course, Minho noticed since you were starting to lean on him. He tried to move away, but it was like you were trying to absolutely have some sort of physical contact with him.

"Bruh." he spat out when you were now full on laying on him.

"Uh?" you said as your eyes fluttered opened. "Ah, sorry, Min. I'm just very tired."

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Do you mind if I sleep here for tonight?" you mumbled out and Minho froze.

Normally, he would have kicked you out at that point without any second thoughts. However, your pleading eyes with your tired figure did something to him, and he couldn't just say no to you.

"I'll take the couch."

You pouted before shaking your head violently. "Sleep in your bed. I'll stay here."

"Y/N, you're not okay. Sleep in my bed."

"Or we can sleep together."

You took his lack of answer as a yes, and stood up on your feet clumsily. Luckily, he caught you in time before you tripped on yourself. You grabbed onto him to find some balance as he led you carefully to his bed. Once he tucked you in, he was about to leave, but you took his wrist to stop him.

"I said we can sleep together."

"I'll just wash up, I'll be back."

"Do you have cucumbers?"

He looked at you weirdly. Sure, you were drunk, but this was so random. You explained briefly it was for a skin care routine you wanted to do to relax. Although it now made sense, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to pamper yourself while being so tired. Nonetheless, he obliged and brought you sliced cucumbers.

"I'll go shower while you do your thingy."

"I'll wait for you."

Your behaviour was strange, but you were awfully cute and you smiled widely at him, hurrying him to go wash. He absolutely adored it, but he knew this was only because you drank. He beat himself up for wanting this to be genuine. The picture of you waiting for him to go to bed and falling asleep together was more than appealing to him. However, he had to remind himself that you liked Chan, and that you'd known the latter for years. He could never do that, come in-between the two of you. He finished his shower thoughts by simply telling himself to get over it. He didn't like you. He couldn't like you. Not like that.

When he came back in his room, he was met with the image of you watching a kids show on his personal TV. Some people would act like horny jerks when drunk, but you were a total child. Alongside with you was Dori, whom you had somehow managed to kidnap to cuddle with. Minho loved it. But he couldn't.

"You didn't use the cucumbers." he pointed to the plate, still full of the vegetable.

"I told you I'd wait for you."

He quirked an eyebrow, starting to see where this was going. "I am not doing some self-care shit with you."

"Min..." you pouted.

"No."

You patted the empty side of the bed and, lazily, Minho sat down as he was still glaring at you.

"Please."

"I'm going to sleep."

You huffed. "You're no fun. Chan would have done it."

Oh, how wrong was it of you to say that. It awoke something in Minho. Whether it was jealousy or pride, he didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it. Instantly, he picked two cucumbers and placed them on your cheeks.

"There. Happy?" he grumbled.

"Very much." you giggled. "Your turn."

You spent the next hour or so playing with cucumber slices, either throwing them at each other, eating them, or shoving them on Minho's eyes. It might had been the first time you saw him genuinely having fun. Not cocky or insufferable like he usually was. He was at ease, and so you were.

It was around 1am when you both grew too tired to continue your self-care session. You snuggled into the blankets and brought yourself closer to the man laying next to you. He stood still as he looked right back at you. He didn't stop himself from reaching out to the side of your face, patting your head.

"Thank you for tonight." you mumbled tiredly. "I think I like you too."

He immediately caught on that you were referring to your previous conversation. Fortunately, because otherwise, he would have went on full panic mode.

"That's good, pretty. Sleep well, alright?"

"You too, Min."

You and Minho were definitely no longer friends after that night, but nor had you stopped speaking to each other. Quite the opposite, actually. Think of any act of affection a couple would do, other than kissing, and there you got what was happening between the two of you. Chan had almost disappeared, now spending most of his time with Eunhee. You did visit him occasionally to make sure he wasn't exhausting himself too much but it never lasted more than five minutes. That also meant your crush on him had completely vanished. It couldn't have stayed for long, anyway, after you woke up in Minho's bed that morning, realizing you had fallen in love with him instead.

"Strawberry." Minho said, standing up firmly for his choice of milkshake, as he nudged your arm.

"Chocolate." you said, coming closer to his face.

He sighed in frustration. "We had chocolate last time."

"If you're so pressed with your strawberry, just order one for yourself."

He smirked. "But you want us to share, don't you?"

It was annoying how right he was, and you huffed in defeat. "Strawberry it is."

"There you go. I knew you were going to give up."

"Shut up."

He took you by the waist and brought you closer, as if you were not close enough already on the small cushioned bench. You continued to bicker playfully, when you heard the front door's bell. Turning your attention on where the sound came from, you easily spotted Chan. He stood still, baffled at the sight in front of him. He started to question himself mentally, wondering if he had really cancelled on you two that much that he didn't notice you were dating. Coming back to his senses, he walked to your booth and sat in front of you.

"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting, or..?"

"Of course not." Minho exclaimed. "Glad to see you after, I don't know how long."

You could hear the pettiness in his voice, so you hit him slightly with your elbow before speaking. "We've all been busy, it's okay." you smiled. "So, what's new? How are things with Eunhee?"

"It's good, I guess. We had a... moment, and she is pretty much ignoring me since then. You know, when you came over the other day." he explained, while looking pretty clueless.

"What kind of moment?" Minho asked, stretching his arm out to wrap it around you, which earned a look from Chan.

"Uh, I'm not too sure. We danced in my room-"

You cut him off with a laugh, and he glared at you. "That's the cheesiest thing you could have done. No shit you were acting weird when I came over." you snickered, and Minho soon joined you as he tried to ignore the slight jealousy he felt from learning you went over to Chan's recently.

"Yeah, you two are no better. You were all over each other when I walked in." he rolled his eyes.

That was enough to shut the both of you, knowing well this was an unspoken thing you had going on. You never brought it up, and didn't intend on doing so anytime soon.

"So." Minho coughed out awkwardly. "Your moment?"

"Right." Chan nodded. "Well, we were dancing in my room and, I don't know what happened, but I almost kissed her. And, I don't know, she didn't look like she wanted to, so I back off. And now, I'm lowkey stressing out about it because I surely didn't want to make her uncomfortable."

"She wanted you to kiss her." you responded without hesitation.

"You think so?"

"Chan, I know so." You hesitated to continue with your point, but feeling Minho's hand rubbing your arm let you know it might be time to tell him. "I'm convinced she likes you, because she acts the same way as I did with you."

He frowned his eyebrows. "You like me? Aren't you and Minho... well, you know?"

"I used to, and that's not important." you dismissed the topic. "What I'm saying is she keeps sending you memes to make you smile, she gets shy around you, she said yes to your tutoring..."

"And you told me she even bought you coffee for one of your lessons with her." Minho added.

He looked at you both, still uncertain. "Should I invite her to my party, then?"

"What party?"

"My end of the school term party. In two days."

"Go for it, yeah." Minho encouraged. "Are we invited?"

"If you promise to keep it in your pants, yes."

Right. A party. With girls. And Minho. The guy who hooked up here and there after his breakup with Byeol. The same one you were currently in love with. Great.

"You know me better." he laughed with Chan. "I'll behave, I promise."

Later, on the walk back to Minho's, since you had planned to stay at his place, you were more quiet than usual. You were holding hands, but your grip was loose, and you couldn't focus properly.

"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked worriedly.

"What do you think of Siyeon?" you said, mentioning a pretty girl in your common class.

"What is this question?" he chuckled, not sure in where you were going with this.

"She's cute, has good grades, is nice to everyone. And Chan is going to invite her at the party, probably."

He raised an eyebrow at you. "Your point?"

"You could ask her out." you shrugged.

With that, Minho let go of your hand. "I could, but I won't."

"Why? Sorry, but it just hit me that you haven't gone out with someone in a very long time."

"I don't know. I suppose I'm not very in the mood of fucking around anymore. You also stopped talking about Chan with me. I'm not the only one acting differently." he pointed out.

"I said it earlier, I don't like Chan anymore." you rolled your eyes.

"Well, then. Our romantic lives are bland."

"They are."

The conversation was cut short as he didn't have anything else to say. He took your hand again, and led you to his dorm. You got there pretty quickly, and you still hadn't said a word to each other. It didn't mean you didn't understand what was happening, both of you implying the lack of love you had could only mean one thing.

The moment he closed his front door, he grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer and crashed his lips onto yours. You were taken aback at first, not sure on how you should be reacting, but it quickly faded as you melted into the kiss. While he was needy, he was also being extremely gentle with you, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way. It didn't take long for you to get to his room, and he pushed you down gently on the bed. Now hovering you, he deepened the kiss before moving down to place small pecks on your neck.

"Min." you mumbled between heavy breaths, and he hummed against your skin. "This is not a joke, right?"

He separated his mouth from your skin to look at you curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You used to be very... physical with other girls. I just want to make sure I'm not some doll you're playing with before throwing it away."

He looked at you with fondness as he stroke your cheek softly. "I thought I made it clear I've wanted you for months, now. Not just physically, like you said." He pecked your forehead. "If I can have you." Kissed your cheek. "I don't want the skin ship only, this time." He stopped as he glanced at your lips. "I want all of you."

You were the one to initiate this time when you brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. The unspoken tension there was before was no longer there. It was like kissing each other had dropped all of your walls, and you were now fully exposed to one another.

"I fucking hated it when you cried about Chan." he said in-between the kisses.

"Really?"

"Fuck, yes." he said, going back to sucking your neck.

"I hated how much you flirted with me, knowing you weren't sincere." you admitted.

"Trust me, kitten, I was fucking sincere."

You started to play with the hem of his shirt, tugging in a few times. He backed away and smirked at you before leading your hands to help him take off his shirt. The sight in front of you was mesmerizing. You already had the idea that he had a good body because of his dancing, but you certainly did not expect him to look this hot.

"Damn." you let out without thinking.

"I know, I'm hot." he winked at you.

"Of course, you know." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm joking." he chuckled as he pecked your lips. "Are you okay if we continue? I want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm more than okay."

The party started out well. You had come in advance to help Chan with the preparations, but mostly to help him calm down. The poor guy was so nervous, not knowing whether Eunhee was going to show up or not.

As people kept coming in, you kept on looking out for any signs of Minho. He texted you he had some errands to run for the cats before coming, but you just wanted to see him. After your night together, you spent the next two days doing finals which didn't allow you to meet up again. The morning after, however, he did ask you out on a date to which you gladly said yes. Although labels were not discussed, it wasn't necessary because you both knew you wanted the same thing.

"Hey, Seungmin!" you welcomed the man as you opened the door.

"Still acting like Chan's place is yours?" he joked.

"I've come here so much, it's like my second home." you laughed with him. "Come on in!"

You joined Chan back in the kitchen as he was starting to prepare the snacks. You started helping him out, though you were very much distracted. Looking at your phone every minute or so, Chan pointed it out, making fun of you.

"You tell me to stop doing that with Eunhee, and you're doing the same with Minho."

You froze in place before slowly turning your head to him. "I never told you I was seeing Minho."

"Y/N, you two have been eye fucking each other for weeks. It did surprise me, but I'm not blind. You love him."

You blushed, as shyness crept over. "Yeah, he's really great."

"I can see that. I haven't see you so happy since, well, since forever actually. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Channie."

You exchanged smiles before going back to preparing the food. It felt great to spend some quality time with him after such a long time.

"You two fucked, haven't you?"

Your eyes widened from his words.

"Chan!"

"What?" he said innocently. "You have dark spots on your neck, that's all."

You grew embarrassed, but couldn't help but laugh. You haven't noticed until now that Minho had marked you that much. You thought he was being gentle enough to not have done so, but it was visibly the opposite. Just then, you noticed a familiar figure appear in front of you, which made the both of you shut up.

"HI! Eunhee, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan spilled out, straightening his posture.

Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself any further, you hit him slightly with your elbow to shut him up before turning your attention to the girl in front of you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting." she flickered her gaze between the two.

"Of course not!" you both denied, not wanting to give her the wrong image.

Chan stood there awkwardly before starting to walk away. "I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" he told her, and you gave him a look as to ask him what he was doing.

You didn't know what to say to her. Seriously, it was Chan's responsibility to talk to her and fix whatever happened between them. You just kept on pouring bowls of chips, but ended up speaking.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

It came pettier than what you had intended, but at least the message was there.

"It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons." she justified, but you shook your head for her to stop.

"I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." You hesitated to keep going, afraid you would be saying something you shouldn't. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Her silence was torturing you as she was processing everything you told her. You replayed the scene in your mind, trying to spot anything you could have said wrongly. But nothing came to you.

"I came here to fix things with him." she finally spoke. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

You had definitely fucked up by indirectly mentioning your former crush on the guy. This was obviously not the outcome you were expecting, you simply wanted to let her know that Chan was precious and needed to be taken care of even when he didn't want to.

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Y/N. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

She left before you could explain any further. You cursed under your breath as you tried to catch up to her. However, you were stopped when someone brought you into a hug before familiar lips met yours.

"Hey, there." Minho grinned at you. "You're looking beautiful."

While your heart wanted to stay with him and melt at his compliments, your mind knew you had to make things right with Eunhee.

"Thank you, Min. I have to do something real quick. Do you mind getting me a drink in the meantime?" you pecked his cheek. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright." he nodded before bringing you into another hug. He leaned on your side so his mouth could be next to your ear. "I'm sorry about the hickeys, by the way."

And he left. He was surely making you feel things, but now was not the moment. You walked through the crowd of people, trying to find Eunhee, but you simply couldn't as there were too many people. Looking behind you, your eyes laid on Chan, alone in the kitchen. You went to him as fast as you could.

"Chan!" you exclaimed out of breath. "Have you seen Eunhee?"

When you took a better look at him, his face had nothing but confusion, sadness, and pure anger.

"What did you say to her?"

And, you were fucked. You shut your eyes closed, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the argument that you felt was coming. Chan was rarely mad, but you did not want to be around when he was. Now that he was actually pissed, it was even worse that it was at you.

"So you saw her."

Chan rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She said you were waiting for me in the kitchen. What have you told her?"

"Nothing untrue, I swear." you breathed out, trying to be careful with your words. "I think she misinterpreted a lot of what I said."

"What did you say exactly?" he asked again, growing impatient.

You took a deep breath in, and searched for any help around, but everyone was having fun and Minho was nowhere to be seen. "I might have spilled out I had a crush on you, but she took it as if I still do." He groaned in frustration, passing his hand through his curly locks. "I also said you like her, and I might have mentioned that you two being together could potentially end up hurting the both of you..."

If you thought he was furious earlier, now he was on full rage mode. Honestly, you had never seen him so mad, and it frightened you quite a bit.

"Why on Earth would tell her that?" he almost growled at you.

"Why? For fuck's sake, Chan, how was I supposed to know what to tell her? You left me there because you were too much of a baby to face her yourself." you snapped at him, which he had seemingly not expected.

"You know me enough to not say shit like that! And I am hosting this whole thing and I saw people coming in. It was the least I could do."

"Fuck off with your lame excuse, because we both know Changbin was already doing so. And for your information, I don't know you as well as I used to because sir decided to disappear out of my life."

He huffed at you as he looked around. He was lost and didn't know what to do now.

"Yeah, I told you already that I'm sorry. But if you love me so much, you wouldn't have told her off by saying you have a crush on me." he yelled out, being heard by almost everyone in the room.

Behind him, you spotted Minho's eyes already staring at you. He was fuming too, walking towards your direction. You didn't know whether he was angry because of you or Chan, but you were definitely worried at that point.

"Y/N." he called out.

"Minho, can we not-"

"So it's Minho, now?" You exhaled loudly, wondering how the night had even taken this turn. "I thought you said you were over him."

"Minho, stay out of this." Chan put his arm in front of him to prevent him from approaching you any closer.

You recognized the protectiveness Chan had of you within his tone, which reassured you a bit that he still cared, at least. Minho didn't fight back, but sent you a disappointed look instead.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

With that, he stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. Meanwhile, the tears you had been holding back until then flooded out and you broke down as Chan held you.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault."

The softness he had after being so enraged took you by surprise, but you truly needed your best friend at the moment. "I'm sorry." you sobbed out.

"Y/N, it's okay. Don't be sorry. You know I can be pretty stupid, right?" he pat your head, and you nodded as a small laugh left your mouth. "I'm the one at fault, here. I should have talked to Eunhee myself, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Minho is very sensitive, you know that, right? He'll come around, I'm sure of it."

It amazed you how he was still able to find the right words for any circumstances. You loved him, for real. But not that kind of love. This one was reserved for Minho. The only thing on your mind was to run after him. You hurt him, and you couldn't bear with the thought.

"Thank you, Chan. I'm also sorry."

He shook his head. "I told you to stop saying that." It made you chuckle.

"Do you think I should go after him?"

He smirked. "Go get your damsel in distress."

Still sobbing, you snorted at his words before you hurried to get out of his apartment. You felt grateful to have went so many times to his place to know his dorm number. Otherwise, you would have given up much quicker. You stopped in front of his door and knocked softly. You heard someone moving from the other side, and heard a sigh.

"Min." you called out.

To your shock, he opened the door, only a bit, and looked at you. He looked tired, and you noticed he had changed into his pyjamas. He hummed as a greeting, obviously still mad at what happened.

"Can we talk?"

He really didn't want to, but your puffy red eyes and simply the sight of you was enough to break him apart. So he let you in. You smiled widely when you were greeted by your favourite cats. You scratched their heads briefly, before turning your attention back on Minho. He was leaning on his counter (which was hot, let's be honest) and crossed his arms as he waited for you to talk.

"I really and certainly do not like Chan."

"Reassuring." he commented, but received a glare from you to tell him to let you speak.

"What happened was he left me alone with Eunhee and I said some things to her that she interpreted as if I still liked him. Chan got mad and he impulsively said that. I told him about us already, he knows."

He frowned at your words. "Us."

"Yeah, us." you repeated, taking a chance by walking up to him.

Thankfully, he let you place yourself right in front of him. He uncrossed his legs so you could have some space, and you approached him. You took his face in your hands, looking at him lovingly.

"What did you tell him about us, precisely?" he asked, placing his hands on your waist.

"I told him that you're great."

"Just that?"

"He knows we fucked."

He raised his eyebrows as he looked up. "Should have expected that."

You slapped his cheek playfully as you pouted, and he chuckled because you were just adorable. "Shut up."

"Sorry. Go on?" he laughed.

You got closer to him, your lips lingering over his. He would have kissed you, but he wanted to hear what you had left to say.

"And I admitted that I might love you."

He backed away, not having expected this. "Love?"

You sighed. "Dude, we've been acting like a couple for months, and we see each other pretty much every day. Don't act surprised."

He frowned even more. "Dude? Really? I call you princess, kitten, or pretty. And I get dude."

"Min." you whined, but he could only laugh.

He loved messing around with you, but he knew when to stop. "I'll be dude if that's what makes you happy, love."

You grinned from ear to ear. "Shall I take this as you love me too?"

"Don't make me say it, kitten."

You chuckled and played with his hair. He adjusted his posture and was now the one hovering you. His eyes went straight to your lips, and he didn't ask to kiss you before doing so. You smiled and kissed him back, not forgetting to hold him close.

"I fucking won over Bang Chan." he bragged after pulling away from you.

"That was an easy win." you snorted.

"Ah yeah? Am I that irresistible?"

"You know you are."

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @fairywriter-oracle | @xhazmania | @taetertotsv

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[konigsblog]

Oh Orla….Thing that cracks me up about these puritan idiots is… they’re simping for fictional special forces operators, you know, people who’s job is to potentially kill people. Sure they’re a very flowery, sensationalised version and there’s nothing wrong with not liking the stuff you or I write (block, move on, go do your maths homework kid.) My stuff isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine I respect all opinions if handled properly.

But… use your fucking brain; eg. your softboi sweetie uwu coffee shop AU version of Simon Riley is so far removed from reality, that you have no ground to stand on as to what’s ‘right’ in terms of fanfic.

Every piece of fanfic is technically inaccurate to the character and how they’d act and that’s fine, that’s what it’s for, for fun. Just stop acting like grown adults that give plenty of fucking warnings on their blogs and posts about the dark nature of their work are the weird ones when you can’t even comprehend the actual nature of the media you’re consuming 😂

Also… know how they never actually go things with consequences? Like… say how some aspects of the porn industry harm REAL people? Yeah, nah, they’re fighting the good fight, making such a difference to the world with their vague posts about you/us writing a non existent soldier as something short of a fairy, angelic prince ahahahaha.

absolutely, you're so right about this -- it's the fact they're more worried about dark fiction writers than actual victims of SA and rape. they don't actually care about them, they just can't handle someone else having another opinion, or writing something that's not made for them. it's beyond immature, and insulting those who use it as coping mechanisms, telling them to go to therapy, it's childish (reading non-con to cope is a great coping mechanism, some therapist's may recommend it. and, they're clearly not thinking about how hurtful and damaging their words are to survivors and victims of SA, telling them they're gross for liking it, while claiming to support victims is immature.)

i'm 100% not saying everyone has to enjoy my work, but don't go out of your way to make multiple posts about me, naming and shaming me for the content i produce. if they really cared about victims of SA, they wouldn't be insulting victims for enjoying non-con.

and you don't need to like my work, but you also don't have to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs on why you think i'm disgusting, how you hate me, ect... 1. i won't bother reading it, it's pathetic and useless, these hate anons are too close-minded to understand the reasoning behind my work. 2. i'm not going to take a hate anon seriously. i know they're sending it out of spite, jealousy or anger.

simon being a cute, little barista isn't very accurate either, but that's the whole point of fiction; it's NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE ACCURATE. we all have our different headcannons, there's no need to shit on mine because it doesn't align with yours!

thank you for the support, minty :33 i appreciate your thoughts and the message 💗🫂

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

18+ NSFW story | all chapters in masterlist

Chapter Fifteen

"Jess... I uh, I got some shit to tell you,” you say, phone pressed to your ear.

"You did what?!” Jess barges through your apartment door after your brief talk on the phone. A call in which you told her what Matthew and you did.

"Yeah,” you blow out an exaggerated sigh.

"So you do like him!” She gloats.

"No,” you pause for a second. “No. I just had sex with him. There's a difference actually."

"So you like his body though?" Jess raises an eyebrow.

"Oh definitely,” you nod, biting your lip gently.

Jess laughs. "What are you gonna do now?"

"I don't know.”

"Do you want to do it again?"

"I don't know,” you say again, dragging out the last vowel a little.

"Girl,” Jess says sternly but there’s a smug grin on her lips.

"I know, I know. I sound stupid, but like I'm honestly confused myself,” you let out a soft groan. “And I have to see him tomorrow. At work. Where we play a couple.”

"Maybe talk to him? Ask him where you go from there,” Jess suggests.

"Maybe, yeah."

______

You have a few very important scenes coming up for the show. You're nervous, especially for one of them, but it should be entertaining.

You're ready in Delilah's clothes and style, waiting around for your next scene of the day. What you did on the couch you sit on now, not that long ago, burns in your brain. You can almost feel it. You push it back, it's crazy.

A little, and stupid, part of your brain wants to do it again. Wants to feel Matthew, kiss his lips, feel his hair in your hands, his mouth on your neck. What is wrong with you?

You pray that this won't affect your relationship as you leave your trailer and head to the film set. You run into someone coming out of the building when you're going in.

"Might want to watch where you're walking." He says it more sarcastic than rude.

You look up at Matthew, shooting him a sarcastic almost-grin. "Yeah thanks, jackass."

Most of your scenes today are just Delilah at work. It doesn't take any more than 3 hours to film until you're walking back out to the trailers.

"Can't stop thinking about it huh?" Matthew's voice sends shocks on your skin. His breath graces your hair.

You turn around to face him. "You wish," you won't give him satisfaction just yet.

He steps closer to you, touching your arm. "Too bad the first has to be the last." Matthew's voice is low.

"What?"

"Just doing as you said, 'move on with our lives'. Right?" There's a hint of bitterness in his tone.

You inhale, "Right. Yeah."

He looks you up and down, then walks away into his trailer. You're left standing there shocked and confused. You're even confused as to why you are shocked and confused.

You understand now why guys say women are confusing, you can't even comprehend your own feelings right now.

You shake it off, forget this. Matthew was just a one night stand type thing. It was a fluke. A weird, but highly pleasurable fluke.

Okay, Y/n... you're fine. it's out of your mind. You leave for home since you're finished until early tomorrow morning.

You eat some ice cream from your freezer while you sit on the couch, flipping through channels. A sex scene comes on from some random movie, you change it quickly. "Really?"  you say as Matthew's face pops up on the tv from a rerun of Criminal Minds season 13. You change the channel, rolling your eyes.

____

It's been a week since the incident, and you and Matthew have not gotten along one bit. One minute it's sarcastic comments, rude remarks, dirty stares, or just plain ignoring each other.

"You know? You were right that day when you said nothing between us would be anything but our characters. Because quite frankly, you're sort of a bitch in real life,” he spits out.

"Excuse me? I'm a bitch? You're the one who acts like an immature assclown every second of your God damn life,” you tell him, arms crossed, brows furrowed.

"That's not what you said while we were fucking.” The grin on his face is the most annoying, smug bullshit you’ve ever seen.

That's it. That's what triggered you so hard to where you snapped. Your hand connects with Matthew's cheek. "Go fuck yourself," you say and storm off. He's stunned as you walk away.

It's taking everything in you not to cry. Angry crying is the worst, and it's so embarrassing. You're strong. You will not cry.

I hate him. I actually hate him.

_____

"We have to what?" You say, louder than intended. Your eyes widen at the script in your hands.

"I think it says you have to have sex," Aisha says.

"Yes, Aish, thank you," you say sarcastically.

You stare more... Spencer and Delilah sex scene. Sex scene. You and Matthew. You're going to die of embarrassment or murder him before you do.

You can't believe you have to have pretend sex with the asshole who called you a bitch. You knew, that playing a couple, you'd have kiss, but you're not ready for a sex scene. You roll your eyes, throwing your head back in anger. You let out a groan. Why me?!

——

Two words continue to burn in your mind. Sex. Scene. Sex scene with Matthew.

You keep reminding yourself that this is what you signed up for; maybe not faking intimacy with the man you hate right now, but you're an actress and doing things you don't particularly want to is part of the job. You wanted this role, you've got to do it.

The scene is tomorrow, it's your second one of the episode. Everyone else is on set right now while you sit on your couch at home. Matthew is probably plotting some way to make the scene more uncomfortable and angering for you. Sounds like something that asshole would do.

You order a pizza and Jess comes over to your apartment. The two of you watch Netflix and eat.

"How's the Matthew thing going?" She asks, half distracted.

"I'd rather his name not be mentioned in this house,” you warn sternly.

She laughs. "So, well I see."

"Yep, totally."  You roll your eyes, taking a bite of the pizza.

You don't tell her about the upcoming scene. She'll just think it's funny and ironic.

You ask about her girlfriend, and she rambles on. It's nice to see her so happy. Maybe even in love? You haven't felt that way about someone in a long time. Since you were 20. You let Jess continue to talk about her, it's a nice way of distancing yourself from your own stupid life.

Jess and you watch a few more hours of tv until she heads out to see meet her girlfriend and her friends.

"Good luck with Gubler," she says on her way out.

"I definitely need that," you say quietly. "I'll see you later!"

You clean up, putting glasses in the sink and paper plates in the trash. Then, you head to your room and plop down on the bed.

You call Lola, checking in on how school and everything is going. You assure your sister that you'll be visiting as soon as you can.

This acting schedule life has been crazy, you haven't been back home in a while. A part of you likes that you've been away, free from the stress of your parents and exploring Los Angeles on your own. It makes you feel more grown up than turning 34 will.

You slip into a pair of plaid pants and a white t shirt and wash your face and all the other nightly shit you do. You crawl into bed, a knot starting to tug at your stomach.

You wake up from a random ass dream, dreading the day ahead of you. As you get dressed, the knot tugs and pulls tighter in the pit of your stomach. You slip on joggers and a band t shirt, throw on a flannel, and step into white sneakers. Quickly, you comb through your brown hair, wash your face, brush your teeth, and get ready to head out of the door.

Grabbing your keys and a cup of homemade coffee from last night, you head down the stairs and to your car.

You arrive on set around 11am, heading to hair and makeup almost immediately. Your already slightly curly hair is curled more then pulled apart, leaving gorgeous waves.

A natural look as always is applied to your face, then you're sent to grab Delilah's outfit for the day. You put on black jeans, tan healed booties, a blue top, and a tan blazer to tie the look together.

You head down since they told you they were ready for you as soon as makeup, hair, and costume were done.

After talking to the director and marking/ planning the scene, it's time to shoot. This is just a quick scene of Delilah heading home from work early after getting a message from Spencer.

‘I have a surprise for you. Can you get off work for a little while?’

Delilah heads to her place after saying goodbye to her employees. "I'll be back later today, call me if you need anything." She gets in her car and starts the drive to her apartment. She plans to change really quick before going to see what Spencer had planned.

She unlocks her door and finds her boyfriend standing in her living room facing the other way. He's grabbing something.

"Spencer?"

He turns around, holding a rose in his hand. There's a sign above him that reads "happy birthday".

"Happy birthday, Delilah,” he smiles proudly.

"Thank you. But it's not until tomorrow,” she chuckles.

"I know. I didn't know if I'd get another day off this week, so I figured we'd celebrate today," he blushes, handing the rose to her as she approaches.

"Thank you, Spencer." Delilah wraps her arms around him. She looks down at the rose in her hands after pulling away.

"I wasn't sure what your favorite flower is, so..."

"Daisies... but you can never go wrong with a rose." Delilah smiles up at him, kissing him softly.

"Oh I almost forgot, I also got you this," he leads her over to the kitchen table where a cupcake sits in cute packaging. The mini cake says "to d - sr". "I couldn't fit your whole name," he chuckles nervously.

"You made this?"

He nods. "Baking is harder than I thought."

Delilah laughs. "It's perfect."

"You're perfect," he says.

She sits down, motioning for him to do so too. The cupcake is vanilla with purple icing. After taking a couple bites, she offers Spencer the rest of it.

In the kitchen, after washing her hands, she wipes off icing Spencer had gotten on his mouth.

Spencer wipes his thumb along her bottom lip.

"Oh did I have some too?" She chuckles.

"No." He leans in, pressing his lips to hers with desire. The kiss isn't rushed or too slow as their mouths move against each other's. Delilah starts to take her blazer off, he assists her. Their lips begin to move faster, tongues seeming to fight each other in passion. Delilah's fingers find their way to the bottom of Spencer's sweater, and she pulls it up over his head. She looks at his bare chest for a moment before his lips find hers again.

Spencer's pushed her up against a wall now, one hand on the side of her face and the other up against the wall. Her hands tug through his hair as their mouths move faster.

He kisses down her jaw to her neck, sucking just softly at the skin as he fiddles with the buttons of her jeans. Delilah's head leans back against the wall, a small whimper escaping from her mouth.

"Are you okay with this?" He says, slightly out of breath.

"Yes,” she nods eagerly.

He kisses her neck again, then his lips trail down to her chest. Spencer takes her shirt off, then continues to kiss down her body. When he reaches the top of her waistline, he stops.

On his knees, he looks up, asking once again for permission. Once she grants it, he's pulling Delilah's pants down and off her body.

"Spencer-"

Before she knows it, he's grabbing her hand and pulling her into her bedroom. She hovers above him on the bed. "You're so beautiful."

She smiles, leaning down to kiss him. All of her insecurities are pushed away when his mouth his on hers, when she feels his warmth. He flips their positions, gaining dominance.

"I love you," he says. Delilah's hands tangle in his hair as his mouth works on her. Gasps leave her lips as she feels the sensation.

When he's done, she pulls him down to her mouth, kissing him. Her tongue runs along his bottom teeth. "I love you," Delilah says against his mouth.

She helps him remove his pants and boxers before he unclasps her bra while kissing her neck...

Pulling away from her mouth, he asks if she's ready.

"Yes," she answers, nodding.

His pace stays slow for a while, speeding up with each tug she gives his hair. Moans leave both of their mouths as the pace quickens and gets rougher. She silences his groan with her tongue in his mouth.

You can't believe you just filmed that with Matthew. Obviously, you guys didn't actually have sex. But faking it seemed pretty damn real.

You stay silent as the recap of what just happened runs in your mind.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Matthew says quietly in your ear.

It takes all of your strength not to turn around and slap his stupid face again. Instead, your body shivers, and you hate yourself for it.

You rush to your trailer as soon as you're allowed to. Your entire being is filled with fifty different emotions at once. For some reason, you almost want to cry. Maybe it's out of frustration?

You shut your eyes tightly, pushing back any feeling in your body or stupid thoughts. You pull your knees up to your chest and try to slow your breathing.

There's a knock at your door. Shit. You don't want to answer it, or talk to anybody. The trailer door opens, and the person you want to see the least is standing in the door way.

"Go away, Gubler.”

"Look I'm sorry for what I said earlier. And for calling you a bitch. You were right, I was being immature,” he says.

You nod your head, pushing your lips together tightly. "Actually I said you were an immature assclown."

Matthew chuckles slightly, "Ah yes. That."

It's silent for a moment. You can feel the tension between the two of you. It’s full of frustration and annoyance and attraction.

"Y/n, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to pin you up against a wall since the day I met you.”

You stare at him, wide eyed. Even in shock, you make a sarcastic comment. "Like violently or the saucy way?"

"Definitely the second,” he says calmly.

You try to chuckle, but it comes out as a huff.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it. And today the kissing, the touching... it didn't help the situation. Even if it was for the show, it wasn't just acting for me,” Matthew tells you.

"It wasn't for me either..." your words are soft.

"Seriously?"

Oh shit he heard me.

You nod your head with a shrug.

He sits next to you on the couch. "So we're good?"

"We're good. I suppose,” you say with a dramatic breath.

Matthew smiles softly. You grab his face, pulling it down to yours. His lips return the favor immediately.

"We're not having sex here again though.”

"Oh why not? It was kind of sneaky of us,” he says. “Huge turn on.”

You chuckle and roll your eyes, kissing him again.

sixteen

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers <3

[sylvanium]

So, I really keep on working. I do have a topic. A I do have the power to go. And, maybe, I found love...?

I have no idea what is happening and why, but hey, it feels so damn good I am not complaining.

No, opravdu pokračuju v práci. Mám téma. A mám sílu na tom makat. A, možná, jsem našla i lásku...?

Nemám ponětí, co se to děje ani proč se to děje, ale mám z toho zatraceně dobrý pocity, takže si nestěžuju.

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

Just like in any other books, Feyre thinks she is loved by anyone and everyone. If you don’t like her you’re a bad person. She’s so weird and creepy

Hi anon !!

I absolutely agree. Feyre's inner monologues are so creepy and we are stuck in her head all the time! But this again is Sarah Janet for you. You know how every author has a special style of writing? This is hers. She doesn't understand the difference between antagonist and villain. She can't stand anyone not liking her fav characters. She force feeds it to the readers itself but she can't even have anyone fictional hating her favs. Anyone who does actually have the nerve to even disagree with her mc either has a shit ass redemption later cause uk they need it to explain why they wud have done something so abhorrent, or turns into a cartoonish villain.

Nesta doesn't take responsibility of two young girls and her cripple good for nothing father as a 17 year old girl so she is evil. Nesta antis call her an abuser for...like.. being mean to Feyre... Tbh the first few chapters of acotar are just establishing feyre's eternal victimhood and comically villainizing the two sisters. But it's just basically Nesta being mean to her younger sister. Yes nesta is mean and cold but those are her personality traits. That doesn't mean she is a bad person. (M not gonna talk about acosf her cause that would really long and besides other nesta stans can make much better points than I ever can)

Beron was the antagonist in acowar where he constantly contradicts the IC and doesn't believe Rhys has been good all along cause he has wings...(idk but that was all I inferred from the HL meeting tbh). He is a bad person but he is a good hl. Who looking to save his own court. Why is that so wrong?? Isn't that what Rhys did wid amarantha?? But then he again becomes the cartoonish villain in acosf who wants to go to war out of the blue and for what ??? Plot?? Cause even with that there was NO PLOT. So sjm, WHAT WAS THE REASON ???

This is just off the top of my head from Acotar. But its the same with tog.

Lorcan is hated in QoS cause he doesn't want a 19 year old girl with a god complex who also threatened to burn alive the people of his city to have enough power to kill his queen. He is just being loyal to Maeve. Why is that so hard to comprehend???? It's the same with Chaol. I mean isn't the guy supposed to be bitter about his break up like even a little bit ??!?? Why do people expect him the beg and grovel at the feet of his ex girlfriend who tried to maul his fcking face ???!!?

[hollowisthyname]

🖊 Lavka!

Lavka!!! you are in luck bc I have recently come up with a BUNCH of new shit for him and I've been itching to share it so let's hope this is more cohesive than usual!! (it won't be)

so! this fucker has a lot of..... stuff. I got my idea for him from another person's oc animatic so he might be plagiarism?? (I didn't actually know anything abt the person's ocs but I thought the way they used the song was really cool so I made my own character lmao) and his characterization has changed so much over time it's fucking hilarious

Lavka is.... some sort of angel. not exactly the christian kind but I stole some design features and general aesthetic so yea he's an angel. the way the angels work is def different from how they do in any religion, but it's kinda confusing so I'll explain that later

he's like. pure white. it's like you took a dude and dumped him in bleach. his skin is white his eyes are white his hair is white need I go on. it kinda hurts ur eyes to look at him directly. his hair is slicked back and goes down to his waist. he's like 6'11 or some shit and a very fancy man. if any of my ocs were to become a tumblr sexyman it would be him (derogatory)

he also has like a billion eyes (here's where the angel part comes in) and in Full Angel FormTM they're all open bc angels are weird like that but in his more human form- using "human" loosely, no one with eyes would look at him and think "ah yes a human, perfectly normal pure white six-foot-eleven creepy ass human nothing to see here" plus he just radiates Powerful And Unsettling- but in his "human" form, he can't open all his eyes at once bc it overwhelms him and he'll pass out.

he was also created to be an irredeemable villain. scrapped that pretty fast, I can't do irredeemable characters asdfghgfd but he still definitely starts off as an antagonist. he kills a lot of people bc he can't really control his powers, and he doesn't see why that's wrong at first.

I have a lot of ideas for him all at once and then immediately forget most of them, so there's probably more to him than what I say here, but hey it works. n e ways this is the cliffnotes version of his backstory:

he's an angel doing angel things in an angel place (they live on a separate plane from the mortals, not a v heaven-y place but it's home sweet home) (not v sweet either)

he gets in trouble. quite a lot of trouble (I have yet to figure out what exactly this trouble is but it is very very bad)

he runs away/is exiled/falls, depending on how the story goes. but in any case he is no longer on the angel plane

mortal body can't fully.... comprehend? all the weird angel stuff that it's trying to translate into something that works on the mortal plane, leading to...

amnesia, uncontrollable powers, general fuckery

I never explained what Lavka can do, did I? well you're in for a treat, bc I just thought of all of it recently and I'm probably forgetting a lot of important parts!

but basically, he can fuck with reality.

he just. messes with the universe. I don't know how to explain it exactly, except that he can warp reality- he can disappear thongs at will, gone like they were never there. he can influence your thoughts, make you an entirely different person if he so wishes. he can change time, speeding it up and slowing it down however he likes. he can mold the universe with a thought.

it's all a lot scarier when he knows how.

so basically, he's a fucked up eldritch horror that forgot how to use his powers and also basically everything else. fun!

(also here's an actual list of what he can do bc my attempt at a creepy paragraph was fun but didn't get everything)

appearing and disappearing things, people, etc

mind control- though it's more like a really powerful suggestion. he doesn't control you himself, he makes you think you came up with the idea for all the stuff he wants you to do

illusion magic that kinda goes with the mind control, he can influence your brain and basically cause hallucinations? make you see/hear/otherwise sense stuff that isn't really there, or he could just make everything seem really weird and confusing

changing time and space: speeding up/slowing down time, making it so you can walk a few hundred miles in a matter of minutes, things like that

he has a fuckton of eyes and if someone sees him with all of them open it inspires primal fear in them and they will run away, or faint, or whatever you do when the only thing in your mind is overwhelming terror. he also passes out immediately after because it's way too much for his body and it just shuts down

people are drawn to him and terrified of him on a subconscious level. this is just an effect he has on ppl so idk if it counts but it's going here anyway

he also sees mortals as.... well essentially, how most humans see non-human animals. interesting, but on a completely different level from him. this is part of the reason I have a hard time w characterization for him, actually- it's difficult to give a personality to someone so completely inhuman. also makes his interactions w the others hard to figure out since angels hardly ever interact with mortals directly.

is this why I haven't done a rundown of his personality yet? yes, yes it is. however I can certainly try so ON WE GO

well let's see I would just like to say first that he is not like a pretentious rich asshole. I feel like that's smth that ppl do a lot with characters like this but he's actually got no fucking clue how to interact with people aside from in a performance so if he comes off as a prick he literally just does not know what's going on

(oh and yeah he doesn't know shit about what life is like on the mortal plane, the difference is huge just in the way that things like happen. I don't actually have too much of an idea of what the angel's realm is like but it's totally fucking different and Lavka Cannot Deal, he gets overwhelmed a lot)

so like. when you meet him he's kinda terrifying but then you realize he's just a lost kid (he really is young by angel standards, though they're very different from human ones) who can barely remember his own name and never knew anything about the world he ended up in in the first place..... and you start to reconsider.

usually what happens with him is he kinda comes off as. terrifying. just bc what he is can't be fully comprehended by most mortal beings so they're just scared instinctually. and he's a gosh darn expert at repressing emotions bc of his time in the angel realm so he's also closed off, which makes him seem scarier, and so the cycle continues.

when he gets to know someone, though, he knows everything about them. for someone with amnesia he actually has a very good memory (he can't remember most of his time/who he was in the angel realm, but since that's just bc it didn't really translate to a mortal brain it doesn't affect him making new memories), and he'll just learn everything. his love language is remembering every single thing the people he's close to have ever told him about themselves- he gives the best gifts, once he learns what gifts are.

he also made Problems w his powers bc emotional repression does not do wonders for someone who can't fully control his fucking reality-altering magic so. something happened and he snapped and probably killed a bunch of people and created a generally too-much-magic zone that acts like radiation but weirder. maybe that's what happened with Elis.. hrm (quick rundown of that: it's Lavka's fault that Elis basically has a bunch of animal parts integrated into their body, he didn't do it on purpose that's just the danger of having ridiculously powerful magic you can't fully control- sometimes you end up hurting people)

he's also connected to Onyx (resident ghost) and Marcel (some kinda nature-y fae creature) somehow but I have no clue what to do with all that. maybe the hardest part of making a story is connecting all the parts together.

but uhh he gets found familied and learns to un-repress emotions and there's probably some closure with the angels but like he lives here now and it's great hehe

extra thing: everyone in the found family calls Elis zaza/zawa/smth like that bc Parent Friend and the first time Lavka did he opened every single one of his eyes (defense mechanism?) and promptly passed out. still learning how to do emotions FGHJKJHGF

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alrighty so- I don't have a picrew or moodboard for him, but I do have a song!! it's called creature by half•alive and I associate it with him so strongly (if you want to know why I have a whole analysis of it but I'm not gonna subject u to that now asdfds)

https://open.spotify.com/track/6tJkq3zUXlEjWluMW9Hdij?si=7cfd7578521e400b

[lewierre]

Ahh thank you so much!! so basically a bit less than a year ago, i confessed to my best friend that I was in love with her. She said she didn't feel the same, and while it was obviously disappointing, it was also not really surprising. The girls she had been into before were the sassy assertive don't hesitate to speak their minds kind. I am very different from that. So yeah, I was sad, but I just wasn't her type, nothing I could do about it. After a few days of awkwardness, we continued our friendship as if nothing had happened and things have been great, though I'm still in love with her. A couple of months ago, she got a girlfriend, and I was fine with that. At least I thought I was until I met said girlfriend yesterday. She's completely different from the kind of girls my best friend has been into before. She seemed shy and reserved, ect. Kinda similar to me. And now I just feel like shit because i can't comprehend how she can reject me if she can date this girl? We have known each other for a really long time, we have great chemistry, we laugh and tease each other all the time, we were there for each other when we were at our lowest... Yet somehow she still doesn't want me. But she wants this girl, who's kinda similar to me and that she has known for like 6 months max. This isn't about looks either as both the girlfriend and me are pretty average looking. Obviously I know we don't choose who we fall in love with, but still, I can't help feeling petty :/ Now I wouldn't ever do anything to sabotage their relationship, I'm not this kind of person, I will continue to be supportive. But if this relationship ever were to fail, do you think there's any point in me maybe asking my best friend again? Or should I just let it go and move on? And if it's the 2nd option, any advice on how to move on? (other than distance yourself from the person bc while that's valid that's not smth I'm willing to do, my best friend was already my favorite person before I fell for her). Ugh sorry this got kinda long 😅

okay so this happened to my two best friends, my guy bff fell for my all time bestie a while ago but she didn’t reciprocate (they’re still close friends now and he has moved on) so i can actually help you i think

first of all, i think you shouldn’t be fixated on the reason you best friend doesn’t like you that way for your own sake. remember there’s nothing wrong with you as a person.

i get why you’d be feeling weird about your best friend having a girl that resembles in some ways yourself but remember we don’t fall in love with types, but with people and all of the different aspects of their character.

that being said, i was so scared of falling for my straight amazing wonderful sweet best friend a few years ago but that didn’t happen and never will happen even though we’re so compatible and complicit and perfect for each other, because we’re perfect as best friends, and fortunately we have both such a strong sisterly bond, i now get grossed out of ever thinking about her in a romantic light

i obviously don’t know the full story but i’ll make a bold claim and say maybe the reason she doesn’t like you that way is because you have the same bond and she sees you as i see my best friend

that also happened between my two best friends. she saw him in a brotherly light, but as painful as it was to deal with, the fact that the situation was more “i would like you if only i didn’t think of you as a brother” made it easier for him to digest

it’s not about you as a person, but about the light she sees you in and perhaps if you weren’t best friends she’d have fallen for you.

as for tips to deal with falling out of love i think just give yourself time and try to focus your love into the best friend/sisterly bond more than the romantic one (i know it’s hard but it’s totally do-able)

and who knows, maybe i am wrong, maybe you’ll get married one day, but this is how i view the situation (i am sorry if this is not helpful at all :( !!! )

if you need more help feel free to hmu anytime <3