#it is due to the fact that i am a fucking idiot

[uncleardyn]

(alan wake-gravity falls crossover) man i love that character. you know, the deeply paranoid author who made a pact with a dark entity that ultimately ended with him stranded in another dimension separated from his loved ones for years at a time? takes place in the pacific northwest? has twin imagery associated with him and a reoccurring specific piece of symbology related to the unfortunate situation they're in? doesn't ever explain the reasoning behind his actions and instead just kinda goes "bro trust me"? yeah he also wears an outer layer of clothing with elbow pads on it, that one.

[aromanticbastards]

the process of getting therapy that my insurance pays for is stupid enough that i want to kill every single fucking person involved in designing this process

(suicide mention tw for the tags i didn't get to put that as the first tag so now it's here)

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.

I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.

Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.

I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.

[leatherbookmark]

have read some more of “emma” and. my good people am i a cringefail prude. is. i only read the foreword and one (1) article but is the “kitty” riddle, brought up by mr woodhouse and copied by emma and harriet, really supposed to be about contracting syphilis from a prostitute....... and fucking virgin prostitutes to get rid of it...........

[mzhydes-funtimes]

Political post normally dont make these

Fuck now i confused myself dammit AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[verystressedcollegestudent]

if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites

[turnfires-secret]

Kinich x top male reader? Imagine that Kinich limps a little after their night with reader, and while reader is trying to make amends, Ajaw makes fun of them in every possible way. That would be fun lmao😭

Anon ilysm i've been craving a reason to write ajaw for days now and I finally get my excuse!

This isn't really smut tho... sorry if I've disappointed anyone!

Payment Due | Kinich X Male Reader

It’s beyond hot inside your shared bedroom. How long had the two of you been at it? Neither you nor Kinich could recall. Kinich has buried his face into the crook of his arm again, trying to keep himself quiet. It doesn’t bring the Turnfire hunter any sort of mercy from the ruthless unending pleasure plaguing his mind, seeing as you just start fucking him harder fueled by the desire to listen to the whorish sounds that slipped from his mouth.

When Kinich wakens the next morning he’s met with a terrible sticky sensation and… as per usual, the most aggravating sound Kinich had heard in his whole life.

“Ew! You humans really are disgusting! I’d have never expect my own servant to engage in such… foul, vile, unholy, unsanitary acts of sacrilege in the close presence of the mighty dragon lord, Ku’hul Ajaw! “

Attempting to ignore Ajaw’s incessant yapping, Kinich takes a deep breath and gets up out of bed… Only to realize the pain and agony that came with such a task. Actually, phrasing it that way is abit too… dramatic. What he was actually facing was the aches and pains of post sex. Kinich is limping, and (to make the situation worse) Ajaw notices. 

“Oh? Did that puny human you drool over fuck you that hard to the point you can’t walk straight?! Wait- Meheheheh! maybe today’s my lucky day! You should go outside and try fight a pack of those idiotic tribal warriors and die!”

“I’m not that stupid, now leave me alone”

Kinich replied, taking yet another deep breath before going to the bathroom and taking a shower. The dendro user finishes his shower, feeling much more refreshed and awake despite the fact he’s still limping. Changing into some fresh clothes he feels your arms around his waist and your head nuzzle into his shoulder. 

“Well good morning to you too”

“Mhhh~ Kinichhh why are you up so early….?”

To Kinich, the sound of your voice was always the best part of his day.

“It’s far from early my love, Infact, it’s 11 am”

“Still too early…”

“EW, DISGUSTING LOVE BIRDS, YOU MAKE ME SICK!”

Theres a pause in the room before you and Kinich both decide to once more completely ignore the yelling pixelized projection. 

“Moving on, you, should be paying me compensation.”

Even though your voice was the best medicine for the aloof warrior, you were still not exempt from his habit of counting costs. To Kinich, it seems his aching grievance was enough to warrant payment.

“Wh- payment?!”

“Because of your prior actions i now find it hard to walk normally, so personally, i think you should pay the prince, no?”

“Personally i think you should charge them has much as you can, Kinich!” (Ajaw says, bardging into the conversation only to get ignored)

“Wh- Alright then~ For payment how about… we go another round?”

You respond, your voice now holding that seductive tone you seemed to enjoy using with him. 

His neck is sensitive after last night’s activities. You bite down, hard enough for him to feel it. Such an action’s associations mixed with such sensitivity forced a needy whine from Kinich’s throat, aswell as changes the Turnfire warrior’s mind. 

“... fine, i have time to spare… just… be abit more gentle this time, will you?”

[hitomisuzuya]

Im sending hugs to you. I hope this ask helps in any way it can. If you dont want to write it, feel free to ignore (although id appreciate it if youd answer the ask and tell me you wont write it.) love love love you and your writings!

Request!

Fatui scara coming home earlier than his wife which is rare since hes the one thats usually late cuz of harbinger duties. One she does arrive, its practically hours that should be spent in bed, resting. He senses wife troubles aka wife in need of love and attention due to being exhausted from work, life or whatever may be. All he knows is that he needs to get rid of your stress. By fucking it out of you, that is.

I can see this as soft dom scara but you can do whatever you like ^^

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. Creampie. Husband!Scaramouche. Degradation. Soft!Dom Scara.

Thank you, dear ❤️ Writing this did help. I am glad everyone likes my soft doms a lot. Scara is straight up husband material in a lot of unique ways 😌

Scaramouche is very set in his ways, his eyes immediately hooding with annoyance the moment he walked through the door. He didn't receive his usual greeting: his wife's arms wrapped around him, nuzzling into his neck with: "I missed you. I am glad you are home."

This man legit walked into every room and looked around. Pulled back the curtains to every window, looking outside in hopes of seeing you. Sighing, he crossed his arms. "Where is my wife?"

He was pretty sure the entirety of Teyvat, and maybe even Celestia was impressed that he'd found a woman who could tolerate him, and the general experience even knowing him brought. He would've been the biggest idiot not to lock you down when he did.

Being the man that he is, Scaramouche knew exactly what you needed the moment he saw you walk in the door. You looked tired, anxious, and lonely. He knew you got anxious without him, and the fact that he'd stayed away three days longer than he promised didn't help much.

Scaramouche knew what he had to do: these tensions were best relieved by fucking you raw, absolutely dumb and drooling on his cock. Real men tended to their wife. And he was determined to do nothing short of that.

From the way your pussy was clenching around his cock as he fucked into you from behind more than said how much you missed him. There wasn't one moment where his cock hadn't been aching to buried raw inside of you.

The relentless pace with which his hips smacked into yours was furious. "Sc-Scara!" You cried out, his cock head nudging firm and consistent into your sweet spot struck you breathless, your fingers clawing at the sheets. You could barely breath as shamelessly loud moans sounded from your throat, "I can't breathe! I need you so badly," The latter was said behind a choked back sobs of pleasure, your hips pushing back into his cock.

"Shh, shh, I know, kitten. I know," Scaramouche groaned, he reached a shaky down to stroke the back of your head before grabbing a handful of your hair, "Just shut that pretty brain of yours off, and focus on one thing," He pulled your head back, pushing a hand down on the small of your back to make you arch it down, "Pleasing me."

He smirked feeling such a shiver rippled through you. The more dominant he got with you, the more you relaxed. Archons, he'd missed you so fucking much. Both him and his cock. Your pussy was clutching so warm, perfect, and tight on his cock. Craving to milk it for all it was worth that it was hard to keep himself from cumming.

Fucking his pretty wife full of his cum was part of tending to her. And there was more than a thick, milky ring glistening on his cock. "Fuck I can feel it, you are so close," He groaned drunkenly, reaching down to rub and pinch your clit, "Cum on your husband's dick like the cock drunk slut you are," He kept a hand on your hip, holding your body still so he could fuck his cock as deep inside of you as he could.

You were dizzy, seeing stars and drooling. Your pussy only clenched tighter, your clit swelling and throbbing more underneath his fingers as he degradingly praised you. He delivered a firm smack across your ass to emphasize he meant what he said.

You mewled in bliss, your toes curling as pleasure burst white hot behind your eyes. You felt every pulse of his thick, veiny cock dragging between your sensitive walls. You could barely hold yourself up on your elbows, your whole body shaking from pleasure.

Scaramouche was certain all those unwanted, stressful tensions were melting away from you. "Who do you belong to, kitten?" He purred, the pads of his fingers skating on your clit, "Who did you swear to honor and obey?"

"You! It's you, Scaramouche!" You barely heard the shaky laugh behind you before the knot of your orgasm finally broke apart, your pussy squirting as you creamed hard on his cock. You could barely comprehend up from down, all the feelings of how hard it was being lonely, waiting all the time was for you was forgotten.

"That's fucking right," Scaramouche moaned, his cock pulsing cum for third time that night inside of you, "Look at my good girl fucking shake, my perfect obedient slut," He babbled. His eyes drifted closed, lost in the haze of how perfect his cock felt sheathed inside of you.

The satisfaction Scaramouche felt was immense when he pulled out of you, his cum oozing out of you as he gently flipped you over onto your back. Your arms immediately wrapped around him as he collapsed on top of you. "I missed you, Scara. I missed you so much," You said sleepily, nuzzling into his neck.

"Finally," He murmured, holding you against him.

[elllisaaa]

enhypen as isabel la rosa songs

-> pairing : enha x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.2k words

-> genre : smut, angst, toxic relationships, enemies, cheating, friends-to-lovers, age gap, friends with benefits

-> warnings : dirty talk, teasing, swearing, unprotected sex, jealousy, possessivness, degradation, begging, praising, marking, oral (f. & m. receiving), use of 'slut' & 'good girl', dry humping, creampie

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | enha masterlist | 1k event masterlist

LEE HEESEUNG - HEARTBEAT

"i can feel your heartbeat, you hate it that you love me."

→ You never liked Heeseung, and luckily, the feeling was mutual - it meant that you were not forced to act as if you didn’t hate each other all the time. You never appreciated people who thought that everything they had was due to them and who couldn’t respect those who had to work to earn their place ; just like you did. 

“- You’ll never be as good as I am, Y/N. It’s a fact, accept it.

- You can be as condescending as you want but one day you won’t have all that money anymore and I will because I worked hard.”

Despite the disgust you felt for him and his privileges, the most efficient way you found to annoy him was to fuck with him. Yes, you hated him, but you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. And yes, he hated you too, but it seemed that he couldn’t get enough of you. 

“- F-Fuck ! You’re always so tight for me…

- If you think it’s just for you, you’re an idiot.”

Heeseung hated it, hated how his body reacted everytime he was inside of you, hated how much effect you had on him. But it was the truth. Everytime he was eating you out, he felt like he could cum in his pants just from the taste that he could not forget. Everytime you were touching him, he had to close his eyes and not look at you or he would definitely get addicted.

"possessive, you’re not mine, but you imply that."

→ “- You can’t go around and flirt with my friends like that !

- And why not ? You’re nothing to me !”

Heeseung couldn’t stand the thought of your lips on Sunghoon’s ones, of you showing him your body just like you did last night in his room. He shouldn’t feel jealous, but he was. So he grabbed your jaw in between his fingers, forcing you to look into his angry eyes. 

“- That’s not what you were saying when I was fucking you yesterday.

- Go to hell.”

But maybe you were the one who was going to end up dancing with Satan with the way you were acting. Everytime, you told yourself it would be the last time. And everytime, you came right back when he asked you to come over. You could tell yourself that it was only because he had a good dick, that it was because you liked to see him suffer but the truth was that you were just as addicted. And when he pushed you against the wall and shoved his tongue down your throat in front of his friends, and that you simply moaned and asked for more, you couldn’t deny anymore - he called and you came in a heartbeat.

PARK JONGSEONG - CLOSER

"i wanna get closer, it’s getting colder, but maybe in your sweater i’ll be warmer."

→ You hated to be that kind of girl, you hated that you were breaking the girl’s code, but was it really your fault ? Jay had always looked at you in a certain way, and even if he was supposed to be off limits because he was your friend’s partner, you couldn’t help but look at him with the same desire. Because it could only be that. 

“- Here, take my jacket, I don’t want you to get a cold.”

You gladly accepted the piece of clothing, suddenly surrounded by his scent that heightened all of your senses. You could feel the pool of arousal between your thighs growing bigger as he landed his hand on your thigh while he drove you home. Jay had proposed that only to have some time alone with you, and the both of you knew it. Even if nothing ever happened, it felt good to have you close. 

“- Are you finally gonna touch me tonight ?”

Jay spared you a glance, but the way his hand was slipping underneath your panties was enough of a hint that you were on the same page. As soon as his fingertips came in contact with your clit, you gasped loudly, having anticipated this moment for so long.

“- Fuck… If I had known that you were always this wet for me…

- What ? You would’ve fucked me sooner ?

- Maybe.”

"you’re scared to get close, but i promise you’ll be okay."

→ “- I said no, Y/N. I don’t want her to discover everything, and I’ve already bailed on her two times this week.

- And you won’t ask yourself why you feel the need to spend so much time with me and not your girlfriend ?”

Jay stayed silent, but he knew you were right. The good thing to do would be to leave his current girlfriend, if not to be with you, at least to have some respect for her. And he used to be a gentleman, he really was, but then he met you and all his values flew right out of the window. But he was too scared to leave her, too scared to hurt her even if he had probably already done that. 

“- Don’t hide your pretty face from me. You’ve begged me to come fuck you and now you’re shy ?”

You shook your head as best as you could, the way his cock was hitting your g-spot rendering you unable to talk or think. Jay smirked, loving how easy it was for him to fuck you stupid, how easy it was for him to get lost in the feeling of your cunt clenching around him, or to get hypnotized by your moans and whimpers of his name. 

“- J-Jay, please… ‘M close…”

One of his hands came down to press on your clit and his lips crashed against yours to muffle your sounds. He was afraid that if he heard you whine one more time, he would become a total asshole and leave your friend to be with you. And he shouldn’t even be doing that, he shouldn’t even think about it, but he needed to be closer to you.

SIM JAEYUN - MORE THAN FRIENDS

"i swear all this shit isn’t just in my head, i know we’re more than friends."

→ Jake was the perfect best friend, and even if a lot of people didn’t believe that you and him could only have a platonic relationship, you were. Yes, he was touchy and sometimes, it seemed like you were a couple. Yes, he was at your place more often than at his, but it didn’t mean anything. Or at least, it was what he told you, it was what you tried to convince yourself of to not go crazy.

“- Ah, Y/N ! You’re too hot, everyone is going to steal you away from me !”

When Jake was saying that type of thing, it was hard to believe that there was nothing more between the two of you. You glanced at yourself in the mirror one more time, admiring how your tight dress complimented all your curves. And suddenly, you felt his hands on your waist, his warm body pressing against your back, his hot breath hitting the skin of your neck. 

“- And you smell so good…”

Slowly, your mind drifted back to the drunk make out sessions in the backseat of his car, to his head between your thighs in the bathroom of the bar, to his cock in your mouth, only two weeks ago, at Heeseung’s party. It wasn’t what friends were supposed to do, but you were too scared to address the situation, Jake’s kissing up and down your neck wasn’t helping either.

“- Jake…

- Mmh…

- We’re gonna be late, we have to go.”

He nodded but he still took the time to suck a hickey just below your jaw to mark his territory before going out. He claimed to be only your friend, but he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else tasting you like this.

"i need, need your hand on my waist, please, save me, god, don’t let me die waitin’."

→ “- Please, don’t go home with him. 

- You can’t do that everytime, Jake, you’re not my dad for fuck’s sake !”

And he knew it, but he didn’t want anyone to be with you except him. It was selfish, and if at least, he wasn’t a coward and had the balls to tell you what he felt for you, maybe it would’ve been more sensible. But he couldn’t lose you, he needed you.

“- But I’m your best friend, and I know when a guy isn’t made for you.

- Sure, all best friends fuck each other, common sense. I don’t care what you think, I’m going back with him and I’m getting good dick from someone who isn’t afraid of their own feelings. Goodnight.”

But before you could turn around and leave, Jake grabbed your hands to stop you in your tracks. Without a word, he dropped to his knees, eyes shining with regret. You wanted to slap him across his face for hurting you like this, but you didn’t.

“- I’m sorry, I’m an idiot, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe that you want me as much as I want you, I’m sorry.”

You should’ve sent him away, but you were weak for him, and seeing him at your feet was nice. So you grabbed him by his jaw, leading him under your skirt, his nose pressing against your clit just right. Jake didn’t need more to start licking you through your panties like a starved man. 

“- You have a lot to make up for, Jakey.”

And he was willing to spend hours and hours worshiping you if it was what it took for you to forgive him and give him a chance.

PARK SUNGHOON - OLDER

"think i need someone older, just a little bit colder."

→ Growing up surrounded by irresponsible adults forced you to mature too soon, and it led you to never finding your place. When you were with people your age, they always seemed so childish and petty, making a fuss about everything, and it annoyed you. You knew your perspective was biased because you were the one that grew up too fast, but it wasn’t easier to make friends. And when you were with older people, it was even worse because they treated you like a child, like the young adult you should have been but that you were not. 

“- I didn’t expect to see you come back this soon, Y/N.”

Your eyes immediately fell into Sunghoon's dark but gentle gaze. He was the librarian you quite literally grew up with. When you were little, you spent all your time with him, reading and drinking hot chocolate. But now that you were older, you couldn’t help the attraction you felt for him. 

“- Well, you’ve always had incredible taste in literature.”

You flashed him a smile, and you could’ve sworn you had seen a glimpse of something more in his eyes when you leaned down over the counter to hand him back your books. You could feel the tension, and you knew you shouldn’t play this game with someone so much older than you, but you couldn’t help it - every time he looked at you through his glasses, you felt on fire. 

“- I was wondering if you also had some romance novels to recommend to me, the ones I’ve been reading lately are boring.”

What you were implying was clear, and Sunghoon didn’t lose anything of the show you were putting on for him - cleavage almost showing your tits, lips pouted and glossed, the shortest skirt known to mankind revealing your legs. He felt guilty, but he was only a man and you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

“- Come with me, I’ll show you some more interesting things.”

"baby, am i your little secret ? eighteen, i’m old enough to keep it."

→ “- And here are the books you had reserved, Mrs. Brown, have a good day !”

Sunghoon couldn’t help staring at you everytime you were helping him at the library on your free days from college. It seemed like your outfits were becoming more and more thigh and short as time passed. He didn’t complain, but it made it hard for him to concentrate when you were bending down to replace some books, exposing half of your ass to him shamelessly.

“- You’re acting like a slut, Y/N.”

You turned around, cheeks red and trying to act innocent. But Sunghoon knew by now that you were not. The girl he once knew didn’t exist anymore, only replaced by a demon that teased him all day long. 

“- I’m sorry, can I do something to help ?”

You stepped closer to him, dropping down to your knees as soon as you were in between his legs. Sunghoon closed his eyes and sighed as you kissed his boner through the material of his pants while your hands fumbled to unbuckle his belt. 

“- See, you know how to be a good girl, uh ?”

You nodded, and in no time, you were drooling around his cock, one of his hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head up and down. It was definitely wrong, but it felt too good to stop.

KIM SUNOO - I'M YOURS

"favorite mistake, friendship’s over, won’t be the same." 

→ When Sunoo loved someone, it was with his whole heart, and he would do anything for them. But it was especially true when it came to you. You had a special place in his life, something everyone except you seemed to have noticed. So when you mentioned having been single for too long and that you needed someone to unwind the tension, he jumped on the occasion to prove that he was worthy of you.

“- Are you sure ? Won’t it be weird if we do that ?”

Sunoo shrugged, his mind already clouded with thoughts of you and your shiny lips on his own. 

“- I’m sure. I want to help you. Plus, we’ve been friends for so long, it would take more than that to break us up, don’t you think ?”

You agreed, and Sunoo was wrong for once. Because the moment you tasted him, you knew that there was no going back : you could never live without all of this anymore. So you kissed him back, letting your tongue slip in his mouth as you sat on his lap. 

“- Sunoo… Touch me, please…”

You didn’t know if it was the desperation talking or if you had been craving him all these years without realizing it, but you moaned when he took a hold of your waist, guiding you to grind against his clothed cock. And it felt so good you weren’t thinking about your friendship anymore.

"nervous, trip over my words, you’re so pretty it hurts, baby i’m yours."

→ “- You’re so beautiful…”

You looked up at Sunoo with glazed eyes, far too gone from the way he was thrusting into you. His cock was hitting just the right spot to make you moan loudly, and he wasn’t doing any better with the way you were clenching so tight around him. 

“- Sunoo… Feels so good, I’m so close…

- I’m going to cum too princess, gonna make you mine.”

You whined at his words, wrapping your hands around his shoulder to get him even closer to you, if it was even possible. When he told you things like that, your heart throbbed and you wanted him to mean it so bad. But even with the recent upgrade of your relationship, you knew that he didn’t feel everything you were feeling for him. 

“- Cum for me, pretty, please.”

As if your body had a mind of its own, your orgasm crashed over you immediately, crying out his name while Sunoo painted your walls white, head buried into your neck, but you still heard the three words leaving his mouth.

“- I love you…

- I love you too…”

Sunoo lifted his head slowly, meeting your gaze again. Neither of you needed more words than that, you both knew how you felt, you both knew that he was yours, and that you were his now. 

YANG JUNGWON - EYES DON'T LIE

"you say that you hate me, then tell me shit nobody knows." 

→ Out of the guys, Jungwon was the one you were the least close to. It was not really intentional, but he never seemed to take an interest in you when you hung out with them, and who were you to force him ? And hearing Sunghoon and Heeseung joking about the fact that the usually sweet guy he was probably hated you made you end up believing that Jungwon might simply despise you.

“- Ah ! Sorry to bother you Jungwon, I’m just here to pick up some books Sunghoon wanted to lend me.”

Jungwon didn’t ask more questions and let you enter their dorm, rubbing his red eyes. He seemed to have cried, but mentioning it would be inappropriate. 

“- Are you okay, though ? You seem tired.”

Your words brought new tears to his eyes, and though you had never talked to each other for more than two minutes before, he told you all about his worries, and you did your best to comfort him. You didn’t know when, but you ended up cuddling with him at one point, your fingers running through his hair to calm him down and your eyes diving into his. 

“- Can I kiss you ?”

You didn’t know what came over you, but you nodded and Jungwon’s lips crashed against yours. But the way he was looking at you with such hunger, the way he had always looked at you really - but you were too much of a coward to admit it - was making your heart beat faster. 

“- Kiss me more, please.”

And Jungwon did just that, not thinking about all the things that were on his mind just moments before, only you occupying his thoughts. 

"say you’re mine, eyes don’t lie, i swear friends don’t get this close."

→ “- Look at me and tell me you feel nothing for me, go on !”

But Jungwon couldn’t do that. After that one time when he made out with you and a little more, he didn’t dare address the subject with you, too afraid of everything you awakened in him. He was playing it off as best as he could, trying not to stare at you for too long but he couldn’t help it sometimes - you just attracted him for some reasons.

“- I.. I can’t, Y/N.”

He couldn’t because the reason he stayed away from you was that he knew that he would fall for you so easily, that he knew you would become vital for him if he ever got a taste of you. 

“- You’re cruel, Jungwon. You could’ve told me you didn’t want anything from me and it would’ve hurt less.” 

Jungwon knew it was selfish, but he kissed you in hopes it would erase what you had just reminded him - he was the idiot in this story, the only one to blame. And the only way he found to make it up to you was by burying his head between your thighs.

“- Don’t stop Wonnie, please…”

And he didn’t, licking and sucking all of your juices , his nose bumping against your clit every time he moved, and his groans of pleasure producing a vibration that felt too good. 

“- Say you’re mine, Y/N, say I’m yours.

- I’m yours baby, please !”

Jungwon doubled his efforts to make you cum all over his face, moaning against your wet folds. He couldn’t deny anymore that he was down bad for you, he couldn’t deny anymore that he would do anything for you to love him. But seeing the adoration in your eyes when he got up to kiss you again, he wouldn’t have much to do for you to reciprocate his feelings.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

enha taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @snouvllvg @puppy-minnie @binniesbabygirl @lichyuu @foxinnie8

1k event taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@emmaluvsjisung

[sozila]

convalescence. (sukuna x reader)

synopsis: convalescence noun. time spent recovering from an illness or medical treatment; recuperation. ryomen s. itadori was a disease that infected every part of your life, and you didn’t notice until it was too late.

pairing: best friend's older brother!ryomen s. itadori x pre-med uni student!fem reader.

warnings: explicit content eventually, mdni.

wc: 9.3k

masterlist | previous | next

you are on: prodromal. (part four)

a/n:

hiii lovelies <3 i wanna start out with an apology because this was much, much later than i wanted to post :( i am so sorry! i really appreciate all the love and can't wait to reply all the comments on ao3 and tumblr :,) you guys are amazing and keep my passion for writing going. anyways, word count is 9.3k !!! record highs breaking every chapter haha <3 i hope you all find this enjoyable after a long dry spell :) and as always, credit to my beta reader @beeh-ive ily bih

ao3 link here.

prodromal. (part four)

sukuna had discovered three key truths when he drove back home after yuuji kicked him out of his apartment. 

yuuji was right about sukuna. it was annoying to admit that his baby brother was right about anything, let alone something so fundamental to his character. it was easier to bark out orders and shelter him from the world. to not hear him be a mature person with complicated thoughts and his own perceptions— especially the ones about sukuna. deep down he knew he couldn’t keep yuuji unaware forever. he couldn’t deny that the events of their childhood scattered his soul, which he has since collected and duct taped together over the years. he knew he was a shitty person. better than anyone else. in the late hours of night he was kept up by the memories of their childhood, ones he couldn't burden yuuji or guilt their grandfather with. it was his to keep and bury within that duct taped soul. he had made peace with it, he thought.

he could respect yuuji’s wishes (withholding some information). messing with you was just an excuse to spend more time in your presence. if that wasn’t possible, he’d find ways around it. a small voice deep down was adamant to say attached to you, everyone be damned. 

he had seen you that day walk into the coffee shop in that gorgeous outfit, skirt swishing with every move of your hips, completely captivating him. moreover, he witnessed how you spoke with suguru and it made something tick inside. he’s never gotten jealous of his best friends, not until this very moment. who was he, that you smiled so big for him? hold on, why the fuck was suguru touching your hair? 

he pulled out a cigarette from his back pocket and lit it aggressively, smoke engulfing the sight before him. suguru was a friendly guy, he was often surrounded with women due to this fact. sukuna was well aware of it; and honestly didn’t care until he was witnessing before his eyes you becoming a part of that equation. 

friend or not, he wanted to barge in there and yank you away from his selfish, dirty and unwelcome hands. motherfucker. 

while his angry thoughts were steaming, sukuna didn’t realize suguru had left and was already making his way towards him at the bricks. sukuna’s eyes focused back and found the man towering over him, a question mark painted on his face. “thinking about something?”

sukuna flicked the ash gathering on his cigarette off of it and inhaled another puff. an exhale. “i’m gonna get a drink really quick.” he couldn’t look at suguru’s face without the urge to pound him into the ground, the scene of his fingers touching your hair on loop again and again in his mind. so, he pushes off the wall, crushing his cigarette with his boot, and makes his own way into the tacky coffee shop. he hated the sugary nature of the place, it was so suffocating. satoru loved coming around to buy sweets, but sukuna never let the man sit and stay at a table if he was dragged into accompanying the white-haired idiot. the girl at the register looked mildly nervous when he stalked inside, which was a common reaction he got given his tattoos and looming figure. sukuna’s eyes drifted to the display of pastries and bread, scanning. he recalled you eating chocolates during your study hangouts with yuuji, the goddamn wrappers always littered on the table. he decided the little chocolate pillow-looking thing (he refused to pronounce whatever the fuck a pain au chocolat is) would suffice, his eyes flitting to the sight of you getting verbally abused by your loud friend. “um.. what can i get you, sir?” the small voice of the attendant brought him back to the front. he nodded, pulling out his wallet. “that chocolate square shit.” she hummed in acknowledgement, and began getting the tong to pack it away. sukuna stopped her. “er.. actually, i’m buying this for someone. you see that girl over there? with the green ribbons?” she looked at him with wide eyes, then found you. she nodded slowly. “that’s my girl. give it to her for me?” “o-oh! how sweet.. will do, sir! anything else for you, then?” he shakes his head. sukuna leaves, paying for your little treat. and now, he waits. suguru looked at sukuna and noticed his empty hands, even more confused than before.

“didn’t you say you were getting a drink?” 

“changed my fuckin’ mind.” 

he pulled another cigarette out to light and his friend sucked his teeth in response. “you really need to find another vice. nicotine is total shit, man. ‘s why i started weed instead, y’know–” 

“suguru, please shut the fuck up.” 

suguru’s mouth pops in mild shock, but he obliges. he knew well it wasn’t worth picking a fight with sukuna when his mood was sour, he learned that by watching satoru try sukuna’s patience on the daily. his eyes trail your figure making your way to the register and the scene unfolds exactly like he asked. he chuckled as you started looking around exasperatedly, finally meeting his eyes. he gave you a little wave. you ignore him, the treatment he’s been getting for a while now. in due time, sukuna thought. in due time he would chip at your resolve, little by little, until your walls completely broke down. discreetly and respectfully, of course.

because above all, yuuji didn’t have to know about his attempts. sukuna didn’t intend to lie, per say.. he just decided he could have his cake and eat it too. said cake being you.

and so this brings us to the final and most universal truth:

3. he needed you in the rawest form possible. the realization was natural. when you had asked him that night upstairs, he was caught up in words because he didn’t want to end up saying the wrong thing– it was delicate. but he needed you. sukuna didn’t know how to describe why in words either.. he was studying engineering, you think he was killing it in english literature?  he just knew the feeling you gave him, the one that ignited a fire in his chest and a desire to orbit your sun. he had decided he wasn’t going to let you put him on the sidelines anymore; developing the fake half-way point to pursuing you in silence.

your internship was much more simple than you expected. while your interest in professor kaito’s research was high and got your foot in the door, the actual work was rather lackluster. you spent maybe three hours at your desk organizing files and sending simple emails, but other than that? you were just passing time. 

you had met her other student assistants a couple days into it, also in your graduation year. a mild mannered blonde man named kento and his super-positive friend, haibara. you thought kento outright hated you in the beginning, but quickly understood he was just another overworked college student. poor guy.

it really helped having something to take your mind off of sukuna’s futile attempts at catching your attention that had begun a month ago.

oh, how he was irking you. 

the bakery freebie was the first of many unnecessary gestures sukuna had done. he had made it a habit to buy you food and have it reach you in the weirdest ways. just last week, he had hit a new low by having a doordash guy somehow get you energy drinks and candies in the middle of a lecture. a note was attached that read, ‘don’t fall asleep, pretty. -s’. you were embarrassed, but thankfully the professor didn’t notice. you also took it up to apologize profusely to the doordash guy for having to fulfill such a weird request— you had handed him a crumpled up five dollar bill from your backpack because you felt so bad. your lunch got paid for randomly, your backpack had tiny presents waiting for you when you opened it, the list was endless. you were not only irritated but also mildly spooked that sukuna was able to evade your presence and manage these stunts simultaneously. he was like a romantic batman. ew, what? no. that doesn’t even make sense.

you were walking up to your apartment door late one night to see a deep red bag with black tulle stuffed into it sitting in front of it. you knew there was nobody else that would leave a gift like this in front of your door, and so you begrudgingly took it inside. it was rather heavy, which made you curious as to what exactly sukuna got you this time. 

as you put it on your tiny kitchen table, pulling tulle away from the bag, you spot the gold-embossed box. it was a really expensive brand you had heard of but never dared to think about buying from. you could hear your parents’ voices echoing in your head about being fiscally responsible, eliciting a shiver. carefully breaking the seal, you lift the lid to see the most gorgeous pair of maroon high-heeled mary janes. and once more, a note stuck to the tissue wrappings:

 ‘for my red ruby girl. -s’

your first emotion couldn’t be anger when the gift was so thoughtful like this. you giddily squeal and try them on— a perfect fit. but how? sukuna never asked for your size.. and you doubt yuuji would tell him without ruining the surprise for you. he’s so weird for that, you thought. 

you walk to your floor length mirror in your bedroom and stare at the shoes, thinking. 

he pays attention to what you like.

this was a stupid realization; he’d been getting you snacks and miscellaneous tidbits that were undoubtedly your favorites for a while. but it hits you nonetheless, your cheeks’ blush growing. you slowly sit on the ground, knees to your chest. what the fuck. you dig your fingers into the shaggy carpet, pressing down hard. you were hoping the hurty-happy ache in your fingers would go away, the one you get when you feel deeply emotional. the attempts he had made were like little vines growing over your heart, ones you had ignored for far too long and now they squeeze you tightly as if to say, “i’m literally never fucking leaving bitch!” 

you jolt when your doorbell rings. a melodic knock follows. “open up, buttercup! i’m hereeeee,” nobara voice was muffled by the door but recognizable enough. you leap to your feet, nearly tripping on your way to throwing the door open. 

nobara takes one suspicious look at your shabbily-hidden nervousness and calls your bluff. “were you watching R-rated shit? because if so i can totally leave, no problem.” your voice squeaks in an ungodly high pitch, spluttering gibberish before you manage an “oh my god no, what the fuck!” she cackles at your reaction and slaps a hand on your shoulder, moving to enter the flat. “you’re so easy to mess with babe, i worry for you at times! really. i do.” 

her eyes catch the shiny box that lay open on the table. “is that xtique? they’re mad expensive, girl! you actually bought something from there?” “no!” you quickly burst, making nobara jump at the sudden denial. “i mean, no, it was a gift from my… father! for the internship.” you point to your feet and she gives an impressed hum. “they’re super sexy-looking. your dad has good taste.. weirdly enough.” you didn’t really know what to say to that without it seeming weird or ruining your last-minute lie, so you just chuckle and nod. 

you like chocolate, especially when it’s melty or gooey in something. you hate tomatoes. which is odd, because you’re okay with ketchup and marinara sauce, but anything with a tomato that the eye can see you don’t touch. you drink a lot of coffee after lectures. you love little cute trinkets, but don’t have that many. 

sukuna was learning about you; and applying the information as soon as he did. granted, you looked positively enraged every time you saw his notes. he also saw your face turn red, so he has to be doing something right. the way your lips quirk for a moment before the eventual frown and looking around for him was pretty adorable. whatever it was, sukuna’s plan was in motion and working as he wanted. the lengths he went for you were unheard of for the usual suitor, but sukuna was a crafty guy (when he wants to be). he tipped off the doordash guy that snuck into your lecture hall an extra twenty dollars in cash to be quiet and unnoticed by the professor. he somehow made friends with the girl at the coffee shop— said her name was christy? kristen? fuck if he knew, to be honest. he really just kept familiar with her so he could have her deliver pastries and coffee from him.  

“this bast– RYOMEN! the fuckin’ oil!” sukuna snaps out of his train of thought to see he was still at work, not in his daydreams. he never got into his thoughts like this, what…? whatever. it was about you, so he didn’t feel as bad. he cursed when he saw the oil pan was slightly away from under the plug, letting the oil spill all over the deck. “i swear to god ryo, you better clean that shit up before you clock out,” choso chided. his cousin-slash-coworker genuinely never caught a break with sukuna and his antics. one of the downsides of working at the shop the family owned, he assumed. but truly, choso was getting gray hairs from the amount of stress that man gave him. sukuna simply waved him off, discarding his rag that was now soaked in old oil. checking his watch, he realized he is close to his clock out time. in five minutes, he messily cleaned up the deck and made his exit, clicking his helmet on and driving out. at a stoplight, sukuna hears some giggling from the car next to him. he pans to see four girls with their windows down, now squealing because sukuna noticed them. one had her phone up, recording him? while another gestures as if asking for his phone number. sukuna scoffs out of irritation. really? he throws up his left hand which was gloved and gestures to his ring finger. they go silent and roll up their windows, embarrassed. a little lie to get them off his case was harmless, he didn’t care either way. technically, it was true he was “promised” to someone, that being you. eventually, he declares in his head. eventually. his head swivels to look at the buildings beside him instead of the cars while he waits for the light to flip. his eyes catch on shiny, ruby shoes in a display of a boutique-looking store. they looked awfully like the ones he saw at your apartment, and at the door the times you stayed over at yuuji’s. sukuna decides to detour and turns into the parking lot for the fancy shop. 

when he walks in he notes it’s rather small, his large frame mildly cramping the area. it was silent and empty, save for the soft jazz playing overhead. a small but peppy old woman bustles out of the back, heels clacking. she was wearing a fancy two piece suit in some kind of purple(it’s periwinkle, but would sukuna really know that?) 

she was about to greet him out of habit when a small “good heavens!” leaves her mouth, in sight of her new customer. she apologizes profusely for the sudden reaction while chuckling nervously. “you’re not our usual patron, you’ll have to forgive me for my outburst dearie!” she runs a manicured hand through her blowout hair, giving a warm smile to him. 

sukuna becomes a bit hyper-aware he was in an oil-stained wife pleaser and slacks, and his usual leather jacket. right. he just grunts and nods, looking around the store. pastel pink and gold adornments littered the walls, the smell of roses infiltrating his nose. all it was missing was you sitting in the middle of it all, honestly. this place was unironically your persona. 

he turns to the display, thumb pointed to the shoes he saw. “you got those in stock?” the lady perks up and immediately gets to work, buzzing around the store to grab boxes. “why of course! is this for a mother, sister? girlfriend, maybe?” sukuna simply nods. “girlfriend.” she giggles melodically, opening and closing boxes. “how sweet of you! she must be one special girl,” sukuna imagines you opening the box and wearing the shoes, your giddy excitement in private. he smiles faintly at the thought. “very.”

she finally finds the set of ruby shoes, and asks him for your size. he replies nearly instantly. he had seen your shoes so many times, the size was always written on the sole. so maybe he had it memorized, no big deal. numbers came easy to him anyways, he dealt with many of them in his studies and job. and maybe he had a section in his notes app for you. 

the old lady quickly wrapped up the shoes and stuffed black paper in the bag to hide the box. sukuna quickly pays, giving her a deep grumble of a thank you. she just smiles and waves him off. “i hope your girlfriend loves them!” as he leaves the shop she sighs with a bittersweet expression on her lips. she misses young love. 

as sukuna leaves the shiny boutique, he looks at the bag in his hand. was he doing too much? he hopes you would like it, and as far as he knows, you don’t own a pair of these in the red he picked. maybe it was selfish thinking that you would enjoy that same red hue you saw in his eyes, especially after that comment that lived in his subconscious. 

your eyes are sanguine red.

he grins to himself, walking a little faster to his bike.

nobara had stayed around for a couple of hours before she called it a night, saying something about how stupid she has to study for her exams when she’s a liberal arts student. you just chuckle and turn her loose. “you’re always welcome to ask me for help," you chide her. she scoffs and pushes you playfully. “no way. you’re like up to your ears in stuff, i couldn’t burden you. and anyways, you’re already helping yuuji and his two brain cells.” she waves you goodbye, and you head back up to your apartment once you see her get into her uber. 

you’re about to flop on your tiny couch when your phone rings. you groan internally when you see the caller id. 

“hello, father.” 

“you need to come home this weekend.” 

you frown. “i’m sorry?” 

“did you not hear me? you need to come home this weekend and help your brother with his entrance exams.” 

you’re in mild shock for a moment, making you go silent. surely he doesn’t think you have time to spend an entire weekend at home. you had so many things to juggle as it was, and your weekend was kind of your safe time. if something bled over from the week, you’d do it then, or hell, sometimes you just wanted to sit and watch a show or two. 

“..father, i’m not exactly free—“ 

“you’re lying. i know how many credit hours you’re doing and that internship of yours is the only extra activity in your time. seriously, when will you grow up? you have so many more duties to fulfill and you’re trying to get out of the simplest one.” 

you had such a difficult time reasoning with your father and it’s been this way since your childhood. he never saw what you wanted or what you accomplished. it was always “how can she benefit the family?” you let out a deep sigh. there was no getting out of this, you accept. 

“i’m sorry, father. i’ll be home on the weekend.” 

“good. your mother keeps asking about your health so don’t eat any rubbish.” 

you make a noise of agreement, but mentally you’re rearranging your tasks for the upcoming week to allocate time for the impromptu trip. he hangs up the phone without a goodbye, as usual. the dread you felt for the first eighteen years of your life settles back into your chest like an unwelcome old friend. you sink to the couch, rubbing your chest to ease the pain. you’re looking at the setting sun seeping in from the window, the light disappearing feeling awfully similar to your emotions right now.

it’ll be just another thing you’ll brave through, you suppose.

kento is washing beakers in the back of the lab room, but you know you felt his eyes on the back of your head. “yes, kento?” you say without turning around. he clears his throat to cover up the cough he let out of surprise. he did not think you would’ve noticed. “you just seem a little downtrodden today, is all.” you let out a sad laugh and walk over to help him dry the beakers. “well, you aren’t wrong, i guess,” you say absentmindedly. you woke up today with the same dread you felt earlier this week, which you had felt every day since the call until today— friday. the gloomy, rainy day didn’t help your mood either. 

“anything i can do to help, maybe?” you smile at your monotonous friend. you learned he was quite caring, but had a hard time mirroring it in his tone of voice. “actually, yeah. do you think you could cover the last hour for me? i’m going home for the weekend.” he nods, putting the last clean beaker in the crate. “no worries. i hope you enjoy your time at home.” you draw a heavy sigh. “i’ll try,” you manage with a deflected grin. 

you wave kento goodbye when you’re walking out the door of the lab, heaving your bags along with you. the rain hadn’t stopped by the time you were walking to your car, so you had to run to avoid drenching everything you had and yourself. 

the drive home was mostly silent, save for your playlist playing softly in the background of the car. the rain slows to a stop when you turn into your neighborhood, which makes you slightly annoyed. couldn’t it have stopped for you when you were getting a cold shower on the way to the car? once you pull up to your apartment complex, you notice something that immediately draws a groan from your lips. 

before you is a sleek black bike, and leaning on it was none other than the object of your irritation. his helmet sat on his seat and his pink hair was moussed by the rain, making it a more deep pink shade. his stupid grin churned your insides. turning the key off in the ignition, you step out of your car, walking towards him. 

you notice his fingers drumming on his seat. he seemed happy to see you? “forgot your umbrella?” he gestures to your head, and your face goes red. your hair was a little out of the ordinary after running through the rain. “shut the fuck up.” you quip dismissively, comb your fingers through your hair to try and fix it– but the moisture had already had its way with you. you give up with a huff. 

your eyes narrow at him. “are you stalking me?” you roll your eyes and cross your arms, clearly not in the mood to deal with sukuna’s games today. he protests with his hands up. “i’m no fuckin’ stalker, sweetheart. just came to drop off your jacket. yuuji said you left it at his place the other day.” you don’t remember leaving anything at yuuji’s, but lo and behold, sukuna takes a jacket out of his seat compartment that looks awfully like one of yours. you stiffly accept it and look away. 

“you free tonight?” your head snaps to meet his eyes and that stupid smirk shone back at you. you turn away to walk back to your car. “nope. sorry! i’m leaving right now,” you swiftly call back to him over your shoulder. because of your height difference, he catches up to you in three strides. 

he grabs your wrist, halting you before you reach the driver’s door handle. “hey, what’s the rush? you literally got back home,” he was right. you did have things to get from your apartment, but you were more annoyed with his ambush that you simply wanted to drive home to get away. 

“can’t you see i’m busy?” sukuna gives you a furrowed expression. “with what?” his gruff tonality replaces the playful one he had before.

you were literally at your breaking point, couldn’t he bother you another day? you yank your hand away from his grip. you give him an icy glare, unwilling to answer him. he takes your pause to maneuver around you and stand in front of the door, blocking you from entering the car. his sharp eyes zeroed in on the tension you’re trying so hard to hide. 

“what’s your problem?” he asks sternly, his voice pressing against you. you clench your jaw, refusing to speak up. you hope he’ll just let it go. 

but he doesn’t. 

he’s still watching you, studying the ticks of your expression, searching. 

“come on,” he pushes, his voice quieter but unrelenting. “what’s really going on with you?” 

why the fuck was sukuna always around you when you were doing horrible? it was so damn irritating. you take a breath, more shaky than you wanted to show him. 

he didn’t miss it. 

you’re fighting back the anxiety and frustration that’s about to spill tears. 

“i’m.. it’s nothing, i just need to go home,” your stomach is turning knots. you hate the face he’s giving you. it’s digging at you, and sukuna isn’t one to back away from confrontation. 

his gaze sharpens, his eyes flickering with something you can’t read. “you mean your family home? like with your dad?” 

he only heard one phone call with your father, for fuck’s sake. you almost felt angry he thought he knew exactly what was going on. your heartbeat was in your ears at this point. “what’s so urgent that you’re fuckin’ running away all stressed?” 

your fists tighten at your sides, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on you. you felt like the muddy asphalt was swallowing you. you didn’t realize you were crying until a tear slid down your cheek. the words followed behind like a tsunami. 

“you think i want to go home?! i get told something and he just expects me to do it with no questions! i don’t even.. i don’t even have time to do this, but he—”

your voice gets caught in a muffle. sukuna had wrapped you in his leather-clad arms, your face smushed in his chest. he smelled like smoke and gasoline, which was weirdly comforting. 

“just.. cry it out.” he mutters. 

his hand is stroking your hair softly, like you were a small child to be consoled. you didn’t care to protest his sudden actions. your fists grip his tank top as you sobbed into him. you don’t know how long you both stood like this, but you could’ve sworn at one point that he was shushing you like a baby, which was again— weirdly comforting. 

when you tilt your head up, eyes red and puffy, sukuna slips a chuckle. you slap his chest, offended. 

“your first reaction is to laugh at my misery, asshole?” 

“your eyes are swollen, sweetheart.” 

you curse and press the cold backside of your hands under your eyes, hoping to reduce the inflammation. you’re both in silence for a couple of moments, him just watching you while you pretended to not notice the holes he was burning into your head. 

he finally spoke up with a hand tapping your cheek. “c’mon, let’s go somewhere.” 

you give him a gaping shocked face. ‘i’m sorry, did you not just see me have a breakdown about needing to go home?” 

he rolls his eyes as if you were acting immature. god, now you know how yuuji must’ve felt growing up. sukuna was definitely as sassy as he was now. “that’s exactly why i’m saying that, idiot. you can go home first thing tomorrow morning.” 

you open your mouth to argue again, but the looming dread you had of facing your father tonight still makes your stomach sink. a night to take your mind off of the stress you’ve been bottling for days.. yeah, that sounds like exactly what you need. you hesitate, glancing up at sukuna’s face, searching for any hint of pity, but all you see is that stubborn determination he had. 

“fine,” you murmur, wiping your hands on your jeans. “but if this is some dumb excuse to make me do whatever you want…” he gives you a sly smirk, visibly amused again. “when have i ever needed an excuse for that?” you smack him again while he walks you over to his bike. 

he grabs the helmet from his bike and hands it to you, nudging you with his shoulder. “just one night, sweetheart. then you can go back and deal with… everything else.” 

you take the helmet and sigh, feeling the dread slowly lift from your chest as you click it on your head. after he climbs on the bike, he stretches a hand out to help you on which you take gratefully. he glances back at you with a soft smile you hadn’t seen since that night you bandaged his hands. 

he feels like a lifeline right now, albeit you didn’t want to admit that. you just needed an escape. 

you nearly scream when sukuna pulls into the “small spot” he said he knew. 

it was a traditional kaiseki house, one that screamed rich and elite. you were wearing casual clothes and your makeup had pretty much melted away after your cry session (you noticed that your mascara had also bled onto sukuna’s white tank top, so you scolded him until he zipped up his leather jacket with a grumble.) 

“you should’ve fucking told me we were going to a nice place, i could’ve gotten ready or something!” sukuna looked practically oblivious. “why?” he deadpans. you fight the urge to facepalm yourself and settle for an eye twitch. “sukuna, look at me.” you gesture to your face and clothes. he’s seriously aloof, giving you a monotone stare. “yeah, i’m looking. you look pretty, why?” oh. there’s nothing you can find to say to that because you genuinely didn’t see an ounce of deceit in his expression. he genuinely believed in what he said, it seems. you process the fact he called you pretty once you’re off the bike, which makes you a little bashful.

regardless, you tried to prim yourself before you stepped inside; praying no one paid attention to you and your unlikely date. that was obviously wishful thinking considering how big of a powerhouse sukuna looked inside the small joint, which made you curse him out mentally. does he eat entire horses? however, the server looked at sukuna with respect you didn’t expect, and sukuna talked to him with ease. you couldn’t believe the sight before your eyes; he was acting like a socialite with insanely proper manners. 

the server led you both to a private dining room, bowing as he closed the door behind you. you unbuckle the ruby shoes you were wearing, ironically the shoes sukuna had gifted you the week before. you hope he didn’t notice. 

sukuna takes the seat opposite you, sitting rather poised and formal. you giggle at him, breaking the royal silence you were in. he frowns at you, miffed.

“what?” 

“you’re like, trust fund boy sukuna right now. you look so serious i thought it was funny,” you explain. 

he grumbles and crosses his arms. “my grandfather… is big on etiquette.” he manages. 

you expect him to iterate further. “…aaaand?” you had sat down, resting your head on your hands, batting your lashes mockingly. 

his frown deepens at your antics. “grandpa owns a lot of businesses, so when me and yuu were young... he made us come to formal dinners. parties and shit. if we acted like fuckin’ animals, we’d get our asses beat.” you giggle at the thought of little sukuna causing a ruckus. 

“i bet you were a handful.” you tease. 

“more like yuu was. unmedicated adhd in a boy is hell.” you agree with a nod. you felt kind of warm inside knowing something new about sukuna. yuuji had told you in the past that they were well-endowed, but these details were cute and… endearing to you. 

“you like them?” you snap out of your thoughts to see sukuna gesturing to your gifted shoes, sitting by the door next to his boots. a small blush dusts your cheeks. “it’s just a fluke… i was rushing this morning and they were the first pair i saw,” your excuse was perpetually lame. 

he nods slowly, amused. “…right, of course.” he lays sarcastically. 

you were about to say something else awkward when the door slid open, bringing the first course along with a round of sake. you both say your respects to the food before digging in politely. the food definitely tasted as expensive as it looked. 

you realize you’ve actually never had a meal with sukuna before. you take note of how proper he eats, which was kind of a surprise for you (again). you guess you could believe him now when he said yuu was worse off than him— that boy definitely ate like a man starved. 

when you finish your last piece, you take a sip of the sake the server had poured out for you. it was much smoother and sweeter than the ones you’ve had. honestly, a little worrying considering how much of a lightweight you were. you decide that’s a dangerous game and settle with nursing the small glass you had. 

“how’s college been, then?” this fucking… you didn’t expect sukuna to do small talk, but here you were. “um, it’s good. a little tedious lately, but i guess i can’t complain,” you chuckle softly. “that kid kento’s in your internship, yeah?” the way he just knew random things adjacent to you was a little scary. “yeah, how do you know that?” “he’s a family friend.” thank god. you were beginning to think sukuna had a private investigator on you or something. “o-oh, how interesting. so you’ve known him for a while?” “his father has been partners with my grandpa since we were young, so yeah.” you simply nod in acknowledgment, unsure of how to continue. this was awkward territory to speak so casually and non-hostile with the man before you.  

“you look like you’re being tortured to speak to me right now.”

you snap to sit more straight and less avoidant, feeling embarrassed he clocked your temperament. “sorry, i’ve not exactly had any real conversations with you,” he looks unphased. “you’re too busy trying to fight me for that.” you give him a frown. “well you’re not exactly a ray of sunshine yourself, asshole.” he simply chuckles and takes another sip of sake. he manages to look elegant despite the fact he’s dressed like a thug. “you’re easy to rile up, sweetheart.” 

you look at him incredulously. “you’ve got to be a sadist or something,” you exclaim with a small scoff. he hums. “not the word i’d use, but if it’s easier for you… sure, i’m a sadist for you.” “for me?” “i don’t mess with anyone else, if you’ve noticed.” you’re mildly confused, given that you know his track record, but you digress. you give him an unimpressed look. 

“…right.” 

he gives you a look back. “fuck you mean by that?” 

“oh c’mon, just because i met you recently doesn’t mean i didn’t know of you before that.” 

his weird look deepens. “oh? and what did you know of me, sweetheart?” he’s absolutely egging you on, but not in a way that’s teasing. he truly wants to understand what preconceived notions you have of him, almost like it was making him upset. 

“i mean… you’re a frat boy, sukuna. you get girls. you party. that earns a reputation, at minimum.” 

he looked a little hurt by your words, but he doesn’t let it stay long enough for you to notice. “tell me this, sweetheart. are you an introvert that only studies all day?” you stiffen. “…no, i’m not an introvert. and i like doing other things too,” “you liked it when i passed judgment on you being nothing but a booksmart nerd the first day i met you?” you shake your head slowly. “then you’re beating your fuckin’ stereotype. just like how i’m not the fuckin’ stereotype others say about me. understood?” 

you start to feel bad that you threw the same callous mindset he’s probably faced before, which was super out of character for you. you were an open minded and intuitive person. “i’m sorry, sukuna. i guess i’m just… having trouble understanding some things.” 

he raises an eyebrow. “like what?” 

“…well,” you take a sip of your sake to give yourself time to recollect. “i guess i want to know why you’ve been gifting me so much these last few weeks.” 

he visibly lightens up, slipping back into his playful demeanor. he purposefully takes a comically long sip of sake, causing you to laugh and smack him across the table, chiding him. “oh my god, stop! you suck, really,” 

he glances at you from the side of his eyes. “i just wanted to.” 

you look into his eyes, searching his gaze. a small smirk plays on your lips. a jolt of confidence hits you as you lean over the table on your elbows. “you got a crush on me, itadori?” 

he matches your energy tenfold, leaning towards you in tandem. you’re almost nose to nose. “inconclusive, sweetheart.”  

you sit back down with a small blush. “you’re not getting compensated for them, by the way.” 

he snorts, a deep chuckle following. “i never expected you to. they’re gifts, sweetheart. and i sure as hell know that little internship of yours pays in pennies.” 

you give him a withering look of irritation. “i get paid in experience, sukuna.” “that’s straight bullshit they tell you, you know that? you realize i graduate this year? already seen the way internships pan out,” true. “potayto potahto, dude.” 

his brows upturn out of amusement. you opt to change the subject from you. 

“you’re a mechanical engineering major, right?” you ask, tilting your head curiously. he just nods, his face giving nothing away. “how’s that, then? fun?”

he fixes you with a dry, almost exasperated stare. his eyes narrow slightly, eyebrows upturned just enough to convey that he’s calling your bluff. “is that a real question,” he drawls, “or are you seriously asking me about my major?”

you clench your jaw, resisting the urge to sock him in the shoulder. instead, you force yourself to keep smiling. “you nearly made me want to explode with your small talk, so just answer the damn question.”

a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, and he snorts. “if i told you i find this fun, there’s probably somethin’ wrong with me.”

you roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, “there’s definitely a lot wrong with you, but whatever.”

he raises a brow, leaning in just a bit too close for comfort. “hm? say that louder for me, sweetheart?”

you feel heat rise to your cheeks as your lips slip into an involuntary pout. you hate how you can’t control your expressions around him—it’s like your face has a mind of its own. you avert your gaze and take a long sip of your drink, feigning nonchalance. “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mumble, the sake warming you from the inside out as you mimicked his usual unbothered attitude.

without warning, he stretches out his hand and flicks you on the forehead, a light but annoyingly precise tap. “idiot.” he mutters, sounding amused.

you groan, rubbing the spot where he flicked you. “when will you stop calling me that?” you whine, exasperated.

his laugh is low and unapologetic and his eyes twinkling with something irritatingly fond. “when you stop doin’ stupid shit. cute, stupid shit.”

somehow that pulls a genuine laugh out of you. you catch yourself mid-giggle, feeling suddenly self-conscious as sukuna’s gaze softens, just barely, his lips twitching into a smile. he’s watching you with this odd.. elated expression, like he’s seeing something new in you. you quickly clear your throat and try to regain composure, but the grin on your face lingers.

“what?” you ask, embarrassed, still smiling despite yourself.

he shakes his head, almost imperceptibly, but the faint trace of a smile remains. “nothing. just didn’t think i’d ever hear you laugh like that.”

a warm blush creeps up your neck, and you look down, fidgeting with the chopsticks. “i do laugh, you know,” you murmur, trying to act casual.

for a moment, he just looks at you, his gaze unguarded in a way that makes your heart skip. the silence stretches between you, not tense but charged, like something’s shifting that neither of you can quite name. he tilts his head slightly, studying your face as though he’s trying to memorize every detail. 

the rest of your meal with him was filled with this unspoken, almost serene connection that neither of you quite acknowledged, but both felt. the conversation felt more natural and genuine, you couldn’t stop talking it seemed. you found yourself stealing glances at him more often than you meant to, feeling a strange warmth in your chest each time your eyes met. there was an ease to the way you sat together, as if the world outside had faded away, leaving only the two of you in this strange little bubble.

not before long, you both had finished your food with much satisfaction. This is definitely one of the best meals you’ve ever had. when the bill comes, you half expect sukuna to pull out a credit card but instead, he glances at the check just a moment before he pays with a bundle of crisp bills from his wallet. god, that was unnecessarily hot.

"let’s go," he says, standing up. he waits for you to put on your shoes before offering his hand as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

you take it, the touch warm and solid. he’s particular about the way he holds your hand– not too tight, not too soft. that makes your heart skip a beat. not to mention your hand is small in comparison to his, but a weirdly perfect match. like a peg sliding into a notch. 

as you walk out of the restaurant, you feel the cool night air hit you, a refreshing contrast to the warmth inside. sukuna’s hand still holds yours, his thumb lightly grazing your knuckles as you both make your way to the street.

that’s when you spot it—an unassuming little ice cream stand on the corner, the twinkling of the fairy lights on its canopy making you grin up at him.

you tug on his hand, pulling him toward the stand before he can even say anything. "ice cream." you say with a mischievous smile, not even giving him a chance to protest. "you are legally not allowed to say no."

sukuna gives you a feigned look of annoyance at you but doesn’t pull away. “you’re insatiable,” he tells you, but there’s no real irritation in his tone—just the faintest hint of beguilement. you don’t miss the way his grip on your hand tightens, just a little, when you pull him toward the stand.

the vendor behind the counter greets you both with a toothy smile, and you instantly scan the flavors, your eyes lighting up as you point to one that catches your attention. "i’ll have the matcha," you say, already thinking about how good it’s going to taste.

sukuna gives you a side glance before ordering the most basic thing he could’ve chosen—vanilla. you can’t help but notice the contrast between his choice and yours, and it makes you giggle.

“you and giggling today, i swear,” he teases. you take the cone from the vendor’s hand with a small thank-you, sticking your tongue out at sukuna before giving your cone a lick. sukuna takes his cone shortly after, paying the man. 

walking together, hand in hand, the quiet sounds of the city hum around you. it’s almost too perfect, the way he towers beside you, both of you savoring your cones. despite the fall night being cool, soon your ice cream starts to drip and melt faster than you can eat it. you try to keep up but it’s a losing battle as your hands get sticky and little droplets threaten to trail down your fingers.

out of the corner of your eye, you catch sukuna stifling a snort, his shoulders shaking slightly as he reaches into his back pocket to pull out a crumpled handful of napkins. he must have grabbed them at the stand, almost as if he anticipated this exact moment.

“somehow i knew you’d end up eating like a messy kid,” he teases, his voice tinged more tender than you’re used to. before you can reply, he steps closer, raising the napkin to your face with a gentle hand, his fingers brushing your cheek as he dabs at the melting ice cream on your lips and chin. his touch is careful and surprisingly soft, as if he’s handling something delicate.

“thank you,” you murmur, the words almost a whisper as you meet his eyes. they’re closer than you expected, and you catch your breath as he holds your gaze, just a fraction too long. you look away, the heat of his hand lingering on your cheek, and take another bite of your cone, trying to steady the flutter in your chest.

when you finish, you make your way back toward his motorcycle parked beneath a flickering streetlight. its chrome metal was gleaming in the muted glow. you lean against the seat as he stands in front of you, hand on the seat space beside where you were situated. this definitely feels like a date now, you thought. 

his presence was grounding you in a way that felt both comforting and thrilling. he eats the last bite of his cone before wiping his own hands clean, then tossing the dirty napkins in the bin behind him. “can i ask one more question?” you look at him with a small smile. “sure, sukuna.” 

his hand that was now free of the ice cream cone instinctively goes to your other hip, not out of flirtation, but simply closer proximity. you were in the space between his legs, but it wasn’t awkward. it was just intimate.

“why’d your dad ask you to come home?” you let out a small sigh, brushing your hair out of your face to no avail as the wind pushes in your face again. you look a little solemn as you speak. “he wants me to help my brother with entrance exams for secondary school. i’m really just doing the work of a tutor, which i can’t imagine my father couldn’t afford, especially in terms of my brother.. but, i have duties that are unspoken, i guess. that i’m just expected to follow through. my tuition for university is paid by him, so i can’t exactly ghost my family. and my mom is still great with me, so.. i don’t want to lose her too,” you admit. 

when you finish you realize sukuna’s been rubbing circles on your side, deep in listening to you. “i know family’s tough,” he replies. “but you need to realize when it’s starting to screw you up. i’m sure if i didn’t come to your place, you’d still be burying yourself under all that fuckin’ expectation and you’d be burnt out by the morning.” you nod, the weight of his words settling in, and for a moment, you’re grateful for the honesty he’s bringing out of you. it’s strange, this feeling of openness with him, like he’s peeling back the layers you keep hidden from most people.

“maybe,” you mutter, looking down at your hands, which are still a bit sticky from the ice cream. “but it’s hard, you know? i feel guilty when i consider putting myself first, like it’s selfish or something.”

you hear sukuna inhale deeply, still focused on you. “selfish? putting yourself first is sometimes the best damn thing you can do. you’ve got one life, sweetheart.” he pauses, the weight of his gaze meeting yours. “if you don’t set those boundaries, no fucker’s gonna do it for you.”

his hand brushes a stray hair off your cheek that had been in your face for a while now, and your heart skips as his thumb lingers there. he leans in just a little, enough that his face is close, his gaze holding yours in a way that makes the rest of the world blur.

you swallow, feeling a warmth rising in your chest, a feeling that’s unfamiliar to you. “thanks. i guess i needed to hear that,” you whisper, genuinely touched.

he tilts his head slightly, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, though there’s something softer behind his eyes. “anytime, sweetheart.” 

without thinking, you shift your hand up to rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips.

he raises a brow, an amused but warm expression lighting up his face. “tryin’ to feel me up now?” he chuckles, but his voice is softer than usual.

you laugh, rolling your eyes, but you don’t move your hand. “shut up,” you murmur, your fingers tracing idle circles on his shirt as you both stay there, close and comfortably silent. the connection between you was enough. sukuna’s hand shifts to gently cup the side of your face, tilting you to see him. you really see him. his thumb grazing your cheek, his gaze flickering to your lips and then back to your eyes. you feel like the world has stopped around you two. you feel the subtle pull of his fingers on your skin. your heart beat is pounding out of your chest, and you feel his racing through his jacket too. in that instant, everything feels inevitable.

the harsh honk of a car horn cuts through the air, dragging you out of the moment with a jolt. you blink as the abrupt return to reality makes your breath catch in your throat. you pull away instinctively, breaking the bubble you were in. the realization of what was about to happen makes you nervous and almost scared. suddenly, you felt suffocated again. you shift, fumbling your fingers with your head down. 

sukuna stands still, silent. his hand that was almost ready to pull you in rested at his side now. his expression was rather blank, but different about the way he’s watching you. it’s quieter, more reserved, like he's waiting for you to say something—anything—to bridge the gap that’s formed between you. his jaw tightens slightly, just a hint of frustration, but he says nothing. he doesn’t rush to fill the silence. his silence is weighty, deliberate, and you feel the intensity of it even more because of it.

you glance at him quickly, and for a split second, you wonder what’s going through his mind. he doesn’t look at you with expectation but with that unreadable intensity that seems to pierce straight through you. you swallow, breaking the silence first. “sorry,” you manage, the words coming out squeakier than you intended, the awkwardness making you want to jump off a bridge. god, strike me down now or so help me.

“don’t apologize,” he rasps, his voice low, rougher than before. it’s not a demand, more like a quiet statement of fact. “you didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”

his words hang in the air, steady and unyielding. it’s not comforting in the traditional sense, but it’s there—uncompromising, like he’s just being real with you. there’s no pushing or attempting to rush things. he’s waiting for you to say what you need to say, or to fall silent again. like whatever you do, he’s not going anywhere.

you instead opt to pivot like you usually do, and turn to get on the bike. you check your phone and give a fake little chuckle. “it’s getting so late, wow! we should head out. yeah?” sukuna realized you were definitely feeling weird about the moment you just had, so he wasn’t going to make it ruin the night you both had enjoyed so far. he only nods. “lemme take you to your place.” 

the ride was weirdly quiet, even though you never spoke on the bike anyways. it was too loud over the roar of vehicles on the road. when sukuna turns into your street, you feel a wave of nervous energy pulse through you again. 

the bike slows as he pulls up to the curb in front of your building, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement. sukuna parks, but doesn’t make a move to dismount right away. he keeps his hands on the handles, his body still. it’s as if he’s waiting for you to move first. 

you shift off the motorcycle and walk to his side. you don’t give yourself the chance to second-guess it. sukuna looks like he’s about to say something when you press a soft kiss to his cheek, fleeting and sudden, just enough to catch him off guard. for the first time ever, you saw sukuna blush. before he can say anything, you step back already turning on your heel to run briskly towards the entrance of your building, heart hammering against your ribs.

“goodnight!” you call over your shoulder, your voice filled with the adrenaline rush you were feeling. you don’t wait for him to respond as you push open the door and slip inside quickly. the cool air of the building is a sharp contrast to the warmth that still lingers on your lips. You press your fingers on your lips, feeling your heartbeat even in your fingertips. you seriously don’t know what you were thinking… tonight’s feelings are swirling around you as you make your way up the stairs to your apartment.

sukuna was sitting for five minutes on his bike in front of your apartment, brain flatlining. he was going to kiss you. he was so close to your lips. he thought that chance encounter was the most he was going to get tonight when you decided to do that and have the gall to run away. 

he didn’t wash his face that night.

a figure with shoddy blonde hair puts out his cigarette stub on the wall, exhaling the last drag he had. the rooftop was empty, save for his friend. mahito sucks his teeth and throws the bottle of beer he was drinking on the ground, the shatter echoing in the dark night. 

“fuck, man! what are we going to do about that motherfucker?” he seethes, face red from his drunken rage. 

naoya chuckles at his lack of control. he didn’t seem as pissed about the whole ordeal, especially not as much as mahito. the fraternity wasn’t everything to him. and he knew good things come to those who are patient. 

“don’t think about him. we need to focus on the bitch that curved you,” naoya tells him coolly. 

mahito nods slowly, raring up with hype. “yeah… yeah! that ugly whore that got me jumped!” naoya just stares out at the buildings below, unbothered. 

“she’ll pay, mahito. just wait.”

sooooo :) how was it guys :) as always i live and breathe for comments (and all reactions hehe) so please don't hesitate <3 i try my best to reply to everyone in a timely manner, but please have mercy on me if i don't </3 love you all!

peace luv bathtub!

taglist! @kawliflo @deepcloudspyhairdo @aldebrana @marie-is-in-the-dark @emoedgylord @gojoscumslut

comment to be added to the taglist! will be capped at a certain point! much love <3

© sozila 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other mediums or sites. cross-posted on ao3 and tumblr under same alias.

[adhdduckie]

second choice - teen!gojo x reader

synopsis : you've loved him since the beginning, so you want to be there for him. in an attempt to speak to gojo after getou has abandoned you all, you tell him that you know you're not the first choice for him to speak to, but he wants you to know you're the first choice for everything else.

pairing; gojo x reader

wc: 2.2k

A/N: this has been in my drafts for like a year, jesus. hope yall enjoy.

main masterlist

jjk masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

gojo has been different since the death of riko amanai. taking on more and more missions, spending less time with the rest of you. he's no longer the same gojo you fell in love with when you first met him, but you still do love him, he's just going through a rough patch.

ever since he finally understood his technique, the higher ups have been forcing him to go on more trips. you saw him every couple of months, but it wasn't the same as seeing him every single day. the messages you sent him being left on delivered, as if he didn't even want to read the messages you sent him.

when getou and gojo were protecting amanai as their mission, you and shoko had been doing your own thing. When geto came back with the absence of gojo, you freaked out. screamed, cried and basically just swore revenge on toji. you hated toji for taking gojo away from you.

when gojo came back covered in blood, and with a slightly feral look in his eyes, you jumped into his arms, throwing your arms around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. He kind of just awkwardly patted your back with his hands, and gave you a sly smile, before speaking.

"what you crying for? i'm not dead, am I?" he said, before letting you go. the smile didn't really reach his eyes fully, and maybe that was the first time you noticed something was truly different.

"you fucking idiot." you responded with a laugh, wiping your tears away from your eyes, feeling slightly stupid about how emotional you were.

a year later after amanai's death, after geto left, things were even worse. you remember how gojo started screaming at yagi. you stood behind in the classroom, having just finished talking with the teacher, as you heard gojo's yells.

it had been a shock to you, too, to hear of getou's sins. geto used to be so kind, so nice to you. he helped you with things in class you didn't understand, bought you cold drinks from the vending machines as you sparred with shoko.

you should have seen it coming, you told yourself. how did you not notice his spiralling? How could you not be there for him? alas, it was far too late to even do anything now, especially after gojo confronted him in front of the kfc, strangely you had been sitting in the kfc, eating your lunch.

the lady beside you didn’t understand why you randomly started sobbing in the middle of your food, but you knew you couldn’t intervene, as this is something that was happening between the two of them, because you knew their connection would always be so much stronger than yours.

it was not exactly something you wanted to watch, although you hadn't known everything they were saying, you had a feeling of what was going on, and you didn't want to interrupt.

after the kfc confrontation, gojo was worse. taking on more and more missions, refusing to talk to you when you tried to see how he was doing. it was sad, especially because he had been such a close friend, and now he was just pushing you away.

it hurt much more due to the fact you cared for him beyond a normal friend should, but there really was nothing you could do. you sought him out when you knew he was back from missions, knocking at his door at various times in the night, praying to some god, some entity, really anything that would get him to open the door.

but your knocks always went unanswered. always. you thought maybe you were close enough that he’d trust you enough to talk with you, but apparently not.

the loss of haibara had taken a toll on you, seeing how he was basically a little brother to you, and you felt like maybe you could relate to gojo, and see how the both of you may have something in common to talk about, to make sure that you both had someone to support, and that spiralling didn’t happen again.

shoko was alright, for the most part. you had made sure to support her as much as you could, and she did what she could in return, but she had never been so close with getou and haibara as much as you did, as when she discovered her reverse cursed technique, she spent most of her time in the morgue, and it was the three of you on missions in the end.

and maybe you were starting to spiral yourself. life as a jujutsu sorcerer had really begun to take its toll on you, and you were beginning to understand just how much nanami had hated the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, and how he talked about how he wanted to go off as a salesman, quoting that “jujutsu is shit!”

despite having support around you, you really felt like you were missing something, and the only way you could ever really support yourself was getting some quiet time. the loss of haibara and getou was a strong one, and because other students understood this, they tried to make you feel as best as you could, even if you wanted alone time sometimes, which led to you feeling overwhelmed a lot of the time.

and because shoko would barge into your room whenever she could, you had taken to the rooftops as a way to escape questioning and the constant coddling of everyone else. it was quiet up there, and you liked the escape.

one specific night, you had been sitting up there for multiple hours, just staring off into the distance.

at some point, it had started to rain, but that had only really registered briefly in your head. the rain was light, so it wasn’t much of a problem.

you’d been sitting there for the best of three hours, just watching the clouds pass you by.

at some point you feel a small shift in the atmosphere, and you freeze.

“what are you doing out of your room, satoru?” you ask him, not bothering to turn around.

you hear the clacking of the tiles on the roof as he walks closer towards you.

there’s suddenly a light pressure on your shoulders as a blanket is dropped around your shoulders.

“they thought you left, you know?” satoru responds quietly.

“what?” you ask him, finally turning around to face him as he drops next to you.

“shoko was freaked, because she hasn’t been able to find you for hours.” satoru tells you, shifting closer to you on the edge of the roof.

“…and what got you out of your room?” you ask him, frowning as you stare back out into your surroundings.

“she freaked out, went crazy on me. she was telling me about how unfair I had been, and how selfish i was for forgetting that getou wasn’t just my friend.” he sighs, drawing his legs to his chest, resting his chin on his arms.

“…she’s not wrong.” You respond. you’re feeling a bit numb, and you’re upset that it’s taken him this long to talk to you again, so you’re being mean.

“yeah. I’m sorry, i really am. I got so caught up in myself after riko and getou, and i forgot that you guys were also affected by everything. and you especially, i knew haibara meant a lot to you.” he tries to explain.

“well, satoru, we all needed someone. i did my best with shoko, and nanami. i couldn’t do it all myself, you know? i felt as if i was the only one that was still trying to make sure that everyone was okay, because you disappeared on all of us.”

“and i’m going insane, too. i hate the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, but it’s the one thing i’m good at, and the one thing that i can do. even if shoko is doing her best to support us all as well, it’s not the same, especially because i felt that you and i could relate the most, and be there for each other. and i understand if you needed time to yourself, but you just shut us all out. all of us.” you finish, feeling tears prick at your eyes.

you can’t make any eye contact with satoru. it’s been months since you last properly saw him, and you don’t want to see him when you’re crying like this, so you’re avoiding his eye contact as much as you can.

you take a deep breath, and you continue; “and then, i thought i lost you too. not only did someone i love die, my best friend’s gone, and the other one shut us all out. “

“and then, the one person i feel like i could talk to because we both lost so much, just completely shuts me out.” You’re full on crying now, not even trying to hide it.

satoru wordlessly pulls you closer, understanding that you need to vent out all of your frustrations, because for so long, you’ve been unable to do so.

and it’s so much coming out at once, that you’re just crying at this point.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i should have been there for you.” he whispers, pulling you so you’re crying into his chest.

your fingers are all bunched into his shirt, and you’re crying, so so hard. this is the hardest you’ve cried since everything’s happened, and it just seems that you just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

and you’re sobbing uncontrollably, hiccuping as you cry. he’s rubbing comforting circles into your back, and you notice that his infinity is off for the first time in a long time, so you have to pause and you have to draw back.

when you do, your hands are resting on his shoulders, and you could swear that you don’t look pretty right now, but it’s too late.

his hand goes to cup your jaw, and he tries to smile tentatively at you. his smile is a bit shaky, and his eyes are brimmed red.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” he repeats, using his thumb to brush against your jaw, resting his forehead against yours.

“i know you needed time, and i understand that, but i was really worried. but please, please please, from now on, check in with me every once in a while, okay? I know i’m not your first choice-” you get cut off by satoru, when he interrupts.

“what, what do you mean you’re not my first choice?” he asks, his thumb pausing its motions.

“just that, i know you would have preferred to talk to someone else.” you tell him, a little embarrassed that you have to say it out loud, because no matter how much you thought of him as a close friend, you still wanted him more than that, but it was never the time to tell him.

“you are, though. you know these last few months have been so hard for me?” he asks, “i kept thinking about how much i missed you and how much i wanted you to be there with me, but i couldn’t go find you, i just couldn’t.” he interrupts you, staring at you intently as he tries to explain his feelings.

“why couldn’t you?” you ask him, trying to fight back a shiver when he pulls back, as the loss of warmth registers. you can feel the hesitation in his voice before he speaks, you’re so fine tuned into everything that is gojo satoru.

“because, i thought you blamed me for getou leaving.” he whispers out, so broken hearted.

you scoff, feeling tears run down your cheeks due to such an emotionally charged conversation. ”of course, i don’t. none of us do. getou leaving was a result of the jujutsu world, from everything that has happened to us, from riko amanai’s death, the unjustness of the world, and the non-human sorcerers.” you respond, grasping his hand in your lap, trying to get him to understand just what you mean.

your eyes track the water that falls down his face from the rain, and it just registers to you again that you’re both probably going to get sick.

he leans forward into your touch, resting his forehead against yours again, as he feels everything seem to just dissipate from him, all the pressure he’s been for so long.

and because he’s here with you now, he finally understands.

he understands everything everyone means when they say that once they’re reunited with their loved ones, all their pain and suffering doesn’t just disappear, it just feels lighter, and easier to carry, because they’ve got the support of those around them.

“you are my first choice.” he whispers out as some kind of confession.

and despite yourself, you are able to let out a wet laugh, your eyes closing as you just rest your forehead against his, feeling him squeeze your hand in his. because this feels right. it finally feels right.

the silence passes comfortably, and soon, you realise you’re not even getting wet anymore. you realise he’s sharing his infinity with you, and this helps you finally understand what he means that how you are his first choice. it seems, you are his first choice, for everything.

“i love you.” he whispers, opening his eyes briefly to stare into yours, as he lifts his forehead from yours to press a light kiss to your forehead. you don’t respond, because you know he understands that you do love him too, when you pull him closer to hug him.

because, the pain and suffering is easier to bear, together.

[itsa-not-me]

So this is NOT related to my previous Alien Konig post. It's separate from that.

...I don't know what I wrote y'all

content warning

alien fucking, breeding, tentacles, breeding, oviposition, two peens, the lost of my sanity. This is UNHOLY

"Research Log # 593; Now that we've been able to confirm the efficacy of Nikto's translation devices we've been able to communicate with the human more efficiently than with the simple sound board. She has confirm that she is a brooding member of her species, and that she is willing to participate in the Counsel's interspecies breeding proposal. Despite what Krueger says I am not preening over the fact that the human stated she would only participate with myself. It just shows that the human is able to distinguish who is the superior sire." "Log # 595; All lab tests are complete. Human is surprisingly more willing to allow lab draws when we can explain what they are for. Happy to report that so far tests show there should be no danger to either of our species during copulation.

Note; Human does not like being called Human, but her Earth name is not possible for us to pronounce in our language. She has agreed to the alias of Nebula."

"Log # 596; Due to our species faster gestation time, and the fact that we do not bear live young, Nebula as agreed to try carrying a fertilized clutch first. I am eager to see how many eggs she will be able to carry."

"Log # 597; Nebula has told us an interesting fact, after a brooding human's bleeding cycle there is a window where they are extremely fertile and is an ideal time for mating. They call this 'ovulation'. According to Nebula her ovulation period is starting shortly. We will begin copulation experiment point one shortly.

Note; I wonder if this ovulation may explain the rather...hungry looks she has been giving me of late."

Konig wasn't nervous, no matter what Krueger tried to say. Kruger was an idiot who kept getting rejected by Nikto. If anything Konig was...brimming with scientific curiosity. Yes that's what it was. He was going to be making important discoveries. With Nebula.

He could admit that at first he had found her of little interest, simply a spare brood human for their external breeding study incase one failed to thrive. But then they had discovered so many little things that made her interesting, unique. It had become difficult to see her as only a study subject. And there was the fact that she always seemed to prefer Konig to the others.

When she was allowed out of the containment area he was the one she choose to follow around the lab. His protection hood was the ones she stole when Krueger had foolishly let her wander the personal quarters. He was the one she would pull towards her nest of bedding when she wished to have a sleep companion, which seemed to have been most nights.

It was his thigh that she chose to use for her pleasure when the Turlian pods ended up acting like a strong aphrodisiac.

So of course it would make sense for Nebula to choose him to participate in the breeding clinicals with. Besides he was the ideal candidate when compared to Krueger.

With that in mind he tried not to think about how the lab felt a little cooler without his usual protective hood and tunic on. Since they had come to a compromise of only having a recording feed instead of Krueger and Nikto as observers, Konig had decided to undress in the lab, trying to ignore the feel of Nebula's stare as he did so.

He knew she had been curious about his physical form, the number of times he'd felt her hands slide along his chest and abdomen at night, exploring the skin and muscle there was a clear give away. Let alone the number of times he had to pull her hands away from under his protective hood. The last time she had even licked the lubricating mucus from his tentacles off of her fingertips! And this was before they even knew if it was safe for her! Really did human's have any survival instincts?

With a huff he turned to look down at the little human, who was already looking up at him with that same wide eyed curiosity. He wasn't sure what he anticipated her reaction would be, but once again reaching for his tentacles wasn't it.

"Why are you so fascinated by my face?"

Nebula couldn't help but grin as the ear piece Nikto had made relayed Konig's words to her. Before she always had to guess with what his body was saying. And that was hard to tell sometimes with the hood and loose drape he chose to wear.

"Because it's a pretty fascinating face."

Really all of him was fascinating. From his height, to how big and wide he was, not to mention the less than human details. There was the obvious face full of tentacles, all circled around what she assumed was his mouth. They all seemed to move independently of each other and the last time she had tried the sticky substance that seemed to constantly coat them well...She'd had exes who had tasted worse in her mouth.

Then there was his skin. It was so pale he was practically translucent in some spots. One night she had spent hours tracing the veins she could see running up and down his inner arm. Plus it seemed thicker than her own. Almost like rubber but less unpleasant to rub against.

And then there was between his legs. At first glance it looked like Konig lacked anything used for 'mating' as the alien persisted in calling it. Nebula had seen enough penises in her life time to know where they were on a human, but Konig lacked that, and a vagina. Instead it was almost like he was a Ken doll, only instead of being smooth there were two...plates, she'd say for lack of a better word, that met and had a seam down the center. Maybe they'd part to reveal these phalluses Konig had talked about earlier. Like that one movie.

She could feel herself start to get wet at the idea of what could be instore for her.

She must have been staring a little too hard because Konig shuffled his weight awkwardly, drawing her attention away from his vent and back to his face. Even being so pale it seemed that Konig's species didn't blush like human's did. Instead a flush or warming of the face his tentacles fluttered a little more exuberantly, lifting high enough at times to reveal a curved little beak. She probably shouldn't have found that so cute. For all his boasting that he was the superior sire, when it came to actually siring he seemed a little nervous. That was something she could certainly find cute.

"Wouldn't you say I'm a little fascinating too?"

Konig would never admit that he found her intense study of him a little intimidating. Instead he was simply being considerate to wait for her to literally welcome him with open arms, turning around as if to give him an unobstructed view of her body. Which he could admit he fully appreciated.

He stepped into her personal space as she turned to face him, hands coming back down to her sides, fingers tapping against her thighs. Perhaps she was a little nervous as well.

"I would say I am starting to find humans more fascinating...Now tell me, how do most humans start their mating rituals?"

He watched as she tilted her head in consideration, little pink tongue coming to lick her bottom lip.

"Well a good one typically starts with kissing?"

"And that would be?"

"It's when we touch lips, even tongues."

"And it is pleasurable for you?"

"If done properly."

Konig hummed in consideration as he studied the shape of her mouth. It looked so plump and soft compared to his beak. He didn't quite think that she'd enjoyed getting poked with it.

"I do not have lips. I do not know if I would be good at kissing."

"Well...maybe I'll just kiss you then?"

Before he could argue the semantics of it she was touching the closest tentacle to her, bringing it up to purse her lips against the side of it. It certainly wasn't an unpleasant experience. Even if the translator couldn't exactly explain what the trilling from his chest meant, it seemed she got the idea as she continued to pepper kisses along the length of his tentacle, ending at the tip.

It wasn't scientific curiosity that urged him to push past her plush lips. It was the way she stared up at him with dark eyes. And oh he was glad he listened. He couldn't resist exploring more as she opened her jaw, giving him more access. Her tongue was warm and soft, not a texture he was expecting but enjoyed as he slid his tentacle against it. Brushing the tip against the roof of her mouth made her squirm, an airy chuckle leaving her as he pulled back.

"That tickles."

"Does it normally?"

"Don't know. Haven't had a tentacle there before."

That pleased him to hear. That this was new for her, that he was the first.

"I found that version of kissing pleasing."

"I'm glad. I'd be upset to hear I'm a lousy kisser."

Without thinking he was cradling her head between his palms, absentmindedly amazed at how tiny he was compared to him.

"I would like to do it again."

"So kiss me then."

Konig let his curiosity get the better of him, the tip of one tentacle tracing the shape of her lips, pushing and dragging against the lower lip to see how it grave under his force. Again that little pink tongue darted out like it was second nature, only this time also licking over his tentacle. The sensation caused the beginning stirring of his phallus.

He pushed back into her mouth, less exploratory and more simply wanting to enjoy the feeling of her tongue against him. He wasn't expecting the suction around him, cheeks hollowing as it seemed she tried to pull him further into her. With a growl he withdrew, leaning down so he could be closer to her eyes, those sweet alluring eyes of hers.

"Little Nebula, is that also a part of kissing?"

He should have known then from the little smile she gave him, that he was in for unexpected discoveries.

"It's a next step after kissing."

Logically, she should be nervous. If she had any survival instincts she wouldn't have been excited about the restrained strength she could feel in the way Konig held her face. She shouldn't have enjoyed feeling his tentacles tracing along her throat and collar bone. But she did. She could feel her nipples start to tighten as a few wayward tentacle tips drifted further down her chest.

"What else comes after kissing?"

She realized she could take it anywhere, that Konig was allowing her to take more of a lead, to set the pace. Her hands drifted up to hold onto his wrists, just a grounding point as she thought about what it was she wanted next. She wanted to feel his tentacles on more of her body, in a specific space if she was honest. And she wanted to explore more of him.

"Humans have foreplay. All sorts of ways to turn their partner on before they fuck."

"And how would you like me to foreplay you?"

Konig seemed almost distracted as he focused on the tentacles that were exploring the swells of her breasts. He could feel the plush give of her skin, how her nipples seemed softer. He looked down in curiosity as he felt them tighten. The little buds seemed to beg attention and who was he to deny that?

He could feel her nails dig into his wrists as twin tentacles wrapped around each nipple, starting with the lightest squeeze he could manage. He kept adding pressure until he heard her sigh, resting more of her weight into his hands and frame.

"This is a pretty good start."

With her approval he continued his exploration of her breasts and nipples, seeing how hard he could squeeze and pull before she would squirm in discomfort. Whenever he found a limit he'd ease back and brush against the poor flesh in apology, before going back to what seemed to be acceptable pressure or strength. He had to move his hold from her face to her ribs to keep her steady, finding the way she would squirm in his grasp cute. It made him want to explore more parts of her.

"Konig..."

And judging from the way she whined his name, he could only assume that his little human felt the same.

She normally wasn't one to enjoy having her nipples or breasts played with, but knowing that it was Konig that was doing it? That he was paying extra attention to the way she'd react to every way his tentacles touched her? It set her nerves on fire. It also sent her on a desperate need to feel him else where.

Thankfully he didn't keep her waiting when she called for his attention, focus shifting from the back arching movements back to her face. It was intoxicating to have that gaze trained on her.

"Is there something you need little star?"

She didn't care if how eager she seemed as she nodded, taking one of his hands to pull him back towards her bed pile. She wanted a lot.

"Wanna to show some other things to do. And I wanna touch you too."

Konig let her pull him to the nest, but didn't expect the strength she had to push him into it. He didn't loose his breath when he landed on his back, but he did when he looked up at her and watched as she stood over him.

"I am at your mercy then."

She could feel nerves creep up the back of her neck as she joined him, tongue thick as she tripped over her words to explain.

"Sometimes humans can pleasure each other with their mouths at the same time."

That drew a curious noise out of Konig, feeling his own self lubricant start to seep from the slit in his vent.

"And how do they do that?"

"It's called sixty-nineing. Typically one partner is on top of the other and their kind of laid in opposite directions?"

He tilted his head back to look at her as she stood above him, her eyes roaming up and down his form. He would have teased her for it if it wasn't for the fact that his own gaze traveled up her legs and froze when it came to the apex of her thighs. It seemed like human's could also self lubricate.

Only hers looked so much more appealing than his, in his opinion.

"I think I may need a demonstration of this."

She seemed a little in a daze as she nodded, looking back at him once before carefully trying to lower herself to her knees, not wanting to hurt him. Once she was there it was an entirely new world of discovery for Konig.

The way her sex opened to him was almost beautiful. Each lip seemed to call his attention with the way they were puffy, drawing his attention inward. His tentacles were already wrapping around her thighs, crawling upward as he took in the way a small nub above her not cloaca seemed to come out from behind it's hood, like it was saying hello and begging for attention.

"So typically a partner would stimulate your sex with their mouth? Like kissing?"

She sounded a little breathless as she rested her weight on either side of his hips, already feeling herself start to get excited when his tentacles would squeeze her thighs.

"Y-yeah. With their lips and tongue and stuff."

The hum he gave was thoughtful, watching her not cloaca seem to clench in excitement. It was rather cute when it did that.

"Should I treat it like I did your mouth earlier then?"

She couldn't help the moan she gave then, hips pushing back as if to open herself further for him. That was exactly what she wanted him to do.

"Yeah. Yeah. With as many as you can."

The desperation in her voice caught him off guard, but who was he to deny her? She had been so sweet for him. He circled his hands around her thighs, used them as leverage to pull her closer to him so his tentacles could have free range to explore.

It was exactly what she had been wanting since she had realized what had been hiding under his hood. Konig's tentacles felt firm as they pushed through her sex, his natural tackiness giving him a drag that felt good against her clit as her own slick started to make it easier for him to glide against her.

And then she felt the first tentacle push into her.

She didn't care about how loud she moaned as she tried to push back into the feeling. She just wanted to feel more of him fill her. But the grip he had on her thighs was too strong, keeping her immobile and at the mercy of his curiosity.

And curious Konig was. Her own slick felt silky, nothing like the thin lubricant he could make. He wanted to coat every tentacle in it, in her. Rubbing against the little nub he noticed earlier seemed to please her, given how her back arched and the noise she had made as he rubbed his tentacle back and forth over it. But actually having a tentacle enter her? It seemed to give her a new level of pleasure he hadn't anticipated. It gave him a level of pleasure he hadn't anticipated.

The sensation of sliding into her was only as similar to her mouth that it was a warm and wet sensation. But sliding into her sex, her...cunt as she had called it once? It was better. She was so soft and as soon as he was moving she was clamping around his tentacle, squeezing around him in a way that her earlier action couldn't compare. Plus it made more of that tempting slick of hers.

As he penetrated her over and over again with his tentacle, slowly as to savor every feeling, he let himself explore, pressing the tip of it against all of her walls with each pass. It thrilled him to feel how she expanded around him. He could see why she had said to use as many tentacles as he could fit, and he would try it, but the back of his mind made him wonder if she was capable of more than one clutch.

But that was getting a head of himself.

She knew she was suppose to be returning the attention that Konig was giving her, that it was the point of sixty-nineing, but she honestly didn't know if she could do much more than lean her head against his hip and moan.

He had followed her please so wonderfully, stuffing one and then another tentacle into her. The stretch was so good, maybe almost painful, but it was the way that his tentacles filled her that was making her wetter. It was like they were taking all the space inside of her so they had no choice but to press and rub against every spot that lit up her nervous system like fireworks.

A third one started to push it's way in, fighting to take what little space was left and she was sure she was going to loose her mind. At least he had been consistent on her clit. She didn't know if she would have survived with her sanity if he chose to explore it with the same voracity.

In an attempted to try to be a good partner, a good mate, she ran her hand along his hip, using the feel of his skin to tell when she had found his vent. It was a little rougher to the touch, ribbed in a way that would make her curious about later. She could feel the growl Konig made in his chest as she rubbed her hand along the slit, surprised to feel it also be wet.

She brought her fingertips to her lips quickly, stealing a taste before Konig could distract her with a particularly cruel flick. Just like everything else she had tasted from him, it was something she found pleasant, something she'd want to try to have more of...but later.

Konig seemed to get the idea of alternated thrusting of his tentacles because it rocked her for a moment, making her whimper and dig her nails into his inner thighs to stay grounded. She refused to be distracted.

Gulping for breath she went back to what she had been exploring earlier, rubbing her fingers along the seam of his vent. She treated it like she would her own cunt, trying different pressures of her fingertips to see what would make him wetter, what would part him for her.

A purring sound started to fill the next as Konig allowed himself to enjoy her touch and ministrations. He could feel himself relaxing, tentacles becoming a little lazy as his vent started to open, readying for his phalluses to make their appearance.

He must have been feeling good because his grip on her thighs relaxed and it allowed her a little leeway to pull herself up further to actually come face to face with his vent. She wouldn't say it was the prettiest cunt she had ever seen, but it was probably the prettiest alien non cunt. She couldn't see Konig's phalluses yet, instead the inside of his vent being filled with these bud like nubs. It was almost like seeing dozen's of little pale blue clits.

And she knew what to do with clits, regardless of color.

Gathering saliva in her mouth she leaned down quick to drag her tongue along his vent from top to bottom in one long, slow pull.

Konig had not been ready for the pleasure that exploded behind his eyes. With a roar he grabbed her hips and pulled her back, simply wanting to stop the immediate onslaught of overstimulation. Only he also pulled her back onto his tentacles. Hard.

The orgasm that caught her was quick and blinding. She hadn't been prepared to suddenly be so full of his tentacles, or for them to suddenly writher inside of her like they were all independently trying to press as hard as they could into every pleasure spot. And maybe she could have resisted that, but the tentacle that had been rubbing her clit had suddenly wrapped around it and squeezed? It was over for her.

It was so much. It was practically dizzying the way his phalluses sprung from his vent, both spilling copious amounts of lubricant. Konig was still reeling from the pleasure, but then to hear her shout as she did, and to suddenly rain her slick down on him? To have it fill his beak and slide down his throat? Overwhelming wouldn't begin to explain it.

It was as if something switched within him. Something that told him that he needed to breed this human as many times as it took. To fill her over and over again. To fuck her until they both lost sense of who they were.

If the orgasm was dizzying, having Konig pull out and start flipping her around until she was under him? It left her spinning. She couldn't help the whimper that escaped at suddenly being so empty, cunt still pulsing in pleasure. She was practically teary eyed as she looked up at her alien, who loomed over her, eyes like a predator ready to devour her.

"I am sorry little star, but I do not think I can withstand more foreplay. I need to mate with you, to breed you until you are so full of my clutches there's no way they won't take."

He came in closer with every word he uttered, hands already grabbing her knees and pulling her down to where the head of his phalluses glided against her cunt.

Unable to speak she nodded desperately, reaching up to wrap her arms under his and cling to his back.

The only thing he needed to apologize was the fact he wasn't fucking her that moment.

With a nearly sub level growl Konig thrusted as deeply into her as he could, both of them groaning at the feeling of his cocks pushing past her walls to make room for him.

It was deep, and hard, and intense.

Konig fucked her like he was trying to carve the shape of himself into her, make a permanent space for him so she'd never be able to forget the way she was claimed.

She felt like she couldn't breath. She couldn't see what was happening below but she could feel it. Konig's buds had unfurred to reveal dozen of little suckers that attached to her sex and thighs, instantly starting a hard suction that left her shaking. Together he was just thicker than his tentacles before, but softer at the tip. It didn't hurt when one head would crash against her cervix, instead it let her feel how the firmer head forced her to feel every push and rub against her G-spot.

Even as her next orgasm crashed through her Konig didn't stop. Instead he just loomed closer, tentacles exploring her mouth, her throat, her chest. Konig was making sure that the only thing she would be able to see, feel or think about was him.

She had no idea how long it kept like that, just that every time she came he showed no sign in stopping. She had lost her sanity by the time she found her words, pleading and begging because she only had one thing on her mind.

"Breed me breed me breed me breed me please please please please need it need it need it."

Oh what a sweet mate Konig had. Begging for his clutch like that. Of course he'd give it to her. He'd give it as many times as he could. It was like his body was at her command, his insemination phallus molded itself to her cervix as his cum started to pour out; hot and thick, forcing its way deep into her womb.

She moaned, deep in her chest as she felt him start to fill her. It was so much deeper than anyone had ever reached before. Her body was practically too weak to cum again, but it still gave a valiant effort to pulse around him like it was trying to encourage every drop.

She would have gotten it one way or another, and by the time he was done she felt a fullness so deep in her she didn't know if she could ever live without the sensation again.

But it wasn't over.

Just as she was starting to relax she felt something bulge against the rim of her poor abused cunt. She tried to run away from it, she did. There was no way she could survive more. But Konig wouldn't let her. With an iron grip around her hips he pulled her back onto his cocks, just as the first few eggs were passing through his oviphallus to settle into her cunt.

He cooed at the way she cried a little, gentle tentacles wiping away the tears.

"There there little Nebula...we have to make sure we give you as many clutches as you can take. Be a good mate it for me."

She was practically in a daze by the time Konig seemed to take mercy on her. Seemed because he simply slowly fucked himself out of her. Each thrust would jostle a soft, jelly like egg that would press against her walls and cause a strike of pleasure to hit her.

She whimpered, a sad little sound of over stimulation and he again was there to reassure her.

"Just creating a plug little star. Can't have our precious clutch come spilling out now."

And true to his word by the time he pulled out of her cunt he'd made the perfect plug with his lubricant, secure enough that not a single drop of his cum or egg would escape.

Once he was sure their clutch was safe he gathered his Nebula in his arms, letting her curl into his side. She looked so cute already so full her stomach already rounding a little. He was so very pleased by she had decided he was the best suitable sire.

Edit

I...I don't know what I wrote. I blacked out and I'm just coming too.

[sgiandubh]

No lies last forever, part 2: the (over)due confirmation

With the Happy Sad Confused Tenth Anniversary Live Special being made available online, I think all doubts have now been lifted about the entire Intergalactic Bullshit this fandom has been deliberately fed for years and years in a row, by a cheap, sad troll and his accomplice. Both imbeciles' determination being only matched by the cast's complete indifference to fandom drama and, as I already wrote (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/764711074507390976/no-lies-last-forever?source=share), ***'s incompetent, tone-deaf PR.

You can watch the entire recording here, by the way:

The part where S specifically addresses his (non-existent) 'friendship' with William Shatner has been explicitly planted by the end of Jack Quaid's dedicated segment. That it has been discussed and planned prior to the show is obvious. And this time, Josh Horowitz wasn't even subtle - he announced the topic way before it 'spontaneously' popped into the conversation (39:42):

Transcription follows:

Josh Horowitz (JH): 'So, what's the dream for further voiceover roles, do you want a Pixar movie, do you want Outlander -the cartoon, what do you want?'

[laughter throughout the panelists]

S: 'Oh, I'm a Star Trek fan, actually' [women in the audience boo and shout - I wonder why, seriously], 'I am a Star Trek fan, I grew up watching Next Gen, so maybe Below Decks is... come on, guys.. '

[Note: yeah, he's such a fan, he has no idea the correct name of the cartoon spin-off, in which Jack Quaid has a voiceover role, is Star Trek: Lower Decks]

JH: 'We'll get him out in a second' [note: Jack Quaid], we'll talk some Star Trek, amazing...'

See? Not even subtle, if you ask me. I think this is something S wanted out for a good while now. It doesn't erase or even ease the pain and the trauma brought to so many people in this fandom by a pair of idiotic bullies, but I think it was very brave of him and, at any rate, it's better later than never.

And so, I waited. And waited. And waited. And then, here it went (01: 02: 54):

JH (consulting notes):' Um, we also should mention Star Trek: Lower Decks, we talked Star Trek a little bit earlier...'

Jack Quaid (JQ):'And, by, the way, this is the last season of Lower Decks, but we would have loved to have you! What the fuck, I didn't know you watched the show! [inaudible, if someone caught it properly, something like 'that was so close', I'd love to know more and especially who said it - thank you] Unbelievable!'

S: ' That is so cool, man!'

JQ: 'Oh, thank you, dude! Oh, yeah, hey, let's get rendered (?), let's do this, we keep going, let's get him on, let's do it!'

JH: 'Isn't...isn't William Shatner a big Outlander fan? I feel like he is...'

S (very uneasy): 'Ah... erm... yeah... (scratches back of his head)...I hung out with him once, we went to his stables and I watched him like riding a horse and stuff.... And, I don't know, it was really weird, cause sometimes I wonder if I am speaking to him via messages and stuff, or if it's actually his assistant [JQ: 'oooh!'], I don't know...'

JQ: 'Does his assistant look a lot like him?'

S (chuckles): 'Kind of...Yeah, you can't tell them apart. Yeah, no, but I believe he was a fan, until he saw me ride'.

Despite the jocular tone, I think everything is pretty much clear, here. Definitely a prepared conversation, despite Horowitz's efforts to make it sound playful and spontaneous. Something he even took prior notes about and made sure to include in the panel - nothing more serious than that, in fact. As for the sad cretin mentioned there, what would be left to say... S sent the guy to Coventry in barely two phrases and actually poked fun at his appearance and demeanor ('you can't tell them apart'). So long for the fictional 'friendship' and 'communication' between S and The Assistant, so long for the braggadocio that horrible little man exhibited all the way, pretending he actually had a personal relationship with S (well, as we all see, he actually doesn't: he doesn't even have a name, in S's book, as acquaintances, let alone friends, do). His only claim to fame was what, in reality? Answering some X DMs sent by S to his employer? Hello? How about his threats, then? How about his repeated calumny of people he didn't even know, calling them 'crazies', 'in need of medical attention', etc?

And please, don't come after me with that sorry excuse that 'it's S's humor'. There was nothing humorous about it and I have proven it already.

I will leave you draw your own conclusions about the non existent friendship with Shatner, something that has probably been 'encouraged' ex nihilo by *** and taken to dramatic cheapness and conflict with and within this fandom by The Assistant himself, mainly, and his friend, the OG Troll. I do not remember hearing/seeing Shatner himself saying all those horrible things (please correct me if I am wrong), so until I am proven the contrary, it's only logical to have many thoughts and questions about these people's strange, very strange obsession with OL and its two main co-stars.

Not to mention the most idiotic threat I have ever read in this fandom. Something I fell upon by absolute chance this morning. I mean, I couldn't even believe people actually bought such primitive, kindergarten bullshit:

[July 29th, 2017]

' Do you still want OL to continue or not, people?'

Empty, illogical threats: why would *** cancel its actual cash cow show, just because two co-stars had something SO obvious, that people realized there was more than the official narrative to it? And what about the crazy story about Albrecht & co. investigating and allegedly menacing fans with going to court? Has this cretin ever realized the potential media scandal would have far outweighed the inanity of such a claim? That it could very well have a serious impact on ***'s company profile and future projects, even?

I really, really think both of these Unsavory Clowns should find another playground and another obsession to cling on (wasn't the first, would not be the last). Elsewhere. In a galaxy far, far away.

PS: Thank you, regular attendee who bravely spilled the tea and thank you, old shipper who came forward and confirmed. And many heartfelt thanks to all of you shippers, old and new, who also bravely stepped forward with their personal take on everything these two have done to this place.

Dare we hope this is the beginning of the end? What is sure, is that no lies last forever. Or as we say in Romanian: minciuna are picioare scurte și adevărul o ajunge/'a lie's got short legs and truth will always catch up with it'.

[Later edit]: edited to add a new, improved clip that actually does include the entire conversation.

[jiniretracha]

ꕤ 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 '𝟐𝟒 - 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟗 ꕤ

Choi Soobin x fem!reader: phone sex

summary: Being far away from your boyfriend is hard...

warnings: smut, you being a minx, masturbation

word count: 1.3k

kinktober masterlist // masterlist // ko-fi

Touring for Soobin had always been exciting but tiring at the same time. He had dreamed of this for so long that he felt guilty for feeling exhausted at times. 

Ever since you started dating him, you always tried to fly with him to support the group in person, but due to your work, lately, it had been nearly impossible to keep up. Him and his group had dates practically all over the world and your boss had been riding your ass, loading you up with pointless paperwork. 

Soobin had just landed in Tokyo, Japan for the show he had the next day. He got inside his room and plopped down on the bed with a tired sigh, rubbing his eyes. 

He sent you a quick text and shoved his phone inside his pocket. Soobin turned on the television to watch some pointless TV shows to soothe his boredom. A couple of minutes later, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and he took it out. 

You: baby

You: did you land safely?

He smiled instantly at seeing your message on his phone. 

Soobin: hello love

Soobin: i did, honey.

Soobin: how are u? Work’s treating u okay?

He waited patiently for your reply.

You: so, so…

You: boss is being an idiot as always, and he’s loading me up with a shit ton of work.

You: i just wanted to go to tokyo with u 🙁

Soobin couldn’t help but giggle like an idiot at the message. He was just so in love with you.

Soobin: my love

Soobin: we’ll have countless opportunities to fly to tokyo together lol

Soobin: next time you get a free week, you’re coming with me

Soobin: or maybe i’ll write a note to your boss to tell him to stop messing with my girl

You: oh god, no, soobin

You: he already hates me without an apparent reason

You: plus…

You: with that cute face you got, you’re not scaring anybody lol

Soobin frowned and pouted like a little kid.

Soobin: i’m not cute

You: yeah you are, you big baby

He chuckled a little and sent you another text.

Soobin: so… what are you wearing, hm?

You: i-

You: i was actually gonna tell you off but…

Soobin’s eyebrows shot up to the crease of his forehead.

You: as we couldn’t really have a proper goodbye

You: i was planning on touching myself before you texted me

His eyes widened like plates and his hands fumbled with his phone. He frantically clicked the call button and placed the phone up to his ear. 

You answered a couple of seconds later and he could hear your giggle.

“You’re bad, you know that?” he asked you and you laughed even harder.

“I know, but I wasn’t lying. In fact, I was just about to stick my hand inside my panties and touch myself when you texted me, baby” you said with a sultry voice.

Soobin closed his eyes and clenched them. “You’re making this very hard for me, babe” he mumbled.

“Oh, am I?” you giggled. “Tell me, are you, now? Did the image of me touching myself because you’re not here made your dick hard, hm?”

Soobin looked down at his jeans and saw the tent forming there. “Yeah, I am” he moaned, undoing the buttons of his pants to find some comfort. “Are you gonna touch yourself for me?” he asked you.

You let out a hum. “I don’t know… do you want me to?” you whispered to him, playing hard to get. 

He could bet his whole fucking money you were biting your lip as you said that. You little minx.  

“Of course I fucking want you to” he rushed out. He gripped the tent inside his boxers and let out a whimper. “Please touch yourself. God, I fucking miss doing that”

He heard you shuffling on the other side and after a few seconds of silence, he heard you moan. 

“I’m so wet for you Soobin” your breathy voice made his eyes roll back. 

He quickly pulled down his boxers and gripped his cock, his thumb rubbing his mushroom tip, collecting the drops of pre cum oozing out of his slit. 

“What would you do if I was there with you?” you asked, rubbing on your clit, teasing your hole with your fingers.

“Shit… I would- fuck- I would rip off whatever you’re wearing, leave you fucking naked under me. I’d grab your tits, those perfect tits you have and freaking suck them” Soobin growled, his hand jerking himself quicker.

You inserted two fingers inside of you and started moving them in and out of you, curling them and pressing them against your walls, making you mewl and throw your head back against the pillow under your head. 

“Then, I would eat you out. You always taste so good, love” He whimpered, gripping his base and twisting his hand. 

“Yeah?” you moaned, your fingers moving in and out of you quickly.

“Fuck yeah, and after you come, I’d fuck you so hard, you’d only remember my name and only my name” 

You let out a loud moan that made him get closer to the edge. 

“Shit…” he whispered, his hips lifting up in the air to the point he started thrusting them against his hand. 

“Soobin, I’m so, so, so close” you whimpered, kicking your feet.

“Shit… I am too, honey” he whispered. “God, when I come back from this stupid city, you won’t be able to walk for a week, I swear. We’re not leaving the bed until we’re both fucking boneless” 

You let out a high pitched moan and came around your fingers, clenching around them and soaking them completely as you squirted, wetting the bed. 

Soobin jerked himself rapidly and came all over his chest, his cum wetting his hand as it came out in violent spurts. 

He let his head rest on the pillow as he finished himself off and heard you breathing heavily on the other side of the line.

“You okay, honey?” he asked you with a little chuckle.

You laughed back and let out a sigh. “Y-yeah, that was intense, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it was” Soobin said and let out a shaky breath. “I miss you” he simply said, feeling his heart ache about how he wasn’t able to hold you after her made you  orgasm.

You giggled. “I miss you too, my big baby” 

He smiled like an idiot. 

“When are you coming back?” 

“I’m flying home in two days” he replied.

“Oh…” you said and he knew you sounded disappointed. “That’s long”

“I know, I literally want to fly home right now but… duty calls” Soobin said. “But I promise those two days will fly, and we’ll be together in no time”

“I’m counting on it” you replied and he could sense the smile in your tone. “Well, I’ll let you sleep, darling”

“Yeah, good night, babe. Sweet dreams”

“Good night, love you!”

“Love you, too” he smiled and hung up the call. 

Soobin stood up with a sigh and took a quick shower. He couldn’t stop smiling as he rubbed the cum off his stomach and rinsed his hair from the sweat he had gathered from the earth-shattering orgasm he just had.

When he came back to the bed, he saw he had a notification pending on his phone.

Beomgyu: bro

Beomgyu: next time you’re gonna jerk yourself off

Beomgyu: pls give me a heads up or smth so i can put my headphones on on time

── .✦

taglist: @annhearttihaehe // @frequentlykit // @alexisfeliz // @jeonginsleftcheek // @yaorzu-blog // @jisunglyricist // @leeknowinggg // @ka0ila // @minghaosimp // @lixies-favorite-cookie // @yn-x-them // @chrizrizz // @madkati // @starzystay // @pancake-freckle // @velvetmoonlght //

i apologize if i can't tag u :(

[brackishkittie]

flatline, abby anderson

— abby anderson x black!reader

“I was out there on the road, life out of control.”

synopsis: due to the fact that your girlfriend is an extremely busy woman, you grow distant from her and she doesn’t know why until some events occur and now she’s too late.

c/n: angst, suggestive but nothing happens, mentions of sex, cursing, and abby being extremely oblivious like an idiot.

a/n: hi everyone. :) I’ve been gone for months and I finally got a bit of motivation and time to post. I don’t know if this’ll have a sequel or anything of the sort but we’ll see. also listen to the song while reading this. ( makes more sense when you listen. )

daily click | ways to help palestine | important tlou post

it was late. very late. abby hadn’t called nor texted you to update you about her whereabouts or how long she was gonna take to come back home, so naturally you were pissed. you looked at her location and saw it pinning towards her job. “of fucking course..” you mumbled to yourself. you called abby, the phone ringing for what seemed like forever. no answer. you try again, and again, and again..and then silence.. “hello?” she answered, sounding gruff and stressed. “abigail, what the actual hell are you doing?” you say, irritation clearly in your voice.

“I’m working, y/n. this is pretty a bad time. what’s wrong?” she sighs softly. there was never a good time. “what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. you’re barely at home anymore. it’s rare that I even wake up to you in the bed next to me.” you say angrily, getting mad at the fact she made it seem like it was nothing. she remains silent as you put your head down in disbelief. “y/n I’m trying..but—” she finally says but you cut her off quickly, “you aren’t trying, abigail..you aren’t. you said last time would be the last fucking time that something like this were to happen and you’ve done it again? ” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you wait for her response.

“baby I..I promise I’ll try harder. I’ll take a week off for me and you.” she mutters, trying to make the situation better somehow. you think about it carefully before taking a deep breath and replying to her, “fine.” you reply monotonously, hovering your finger over the red button to hang up but abby starts speaking again, “that’s my girl. I love you.” she utters into the phone. you take a few seconds to respond but give in, replying with a small ‘love you too’.

the new week came pretty quickly. as you sat up in your bed, expecting to start your day alone again, you heard a groggy voice call out to you. “where are you going? come back to bed..” it was abby. you whipped your head around and looked at abby, who was now sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “morning.” she smiled at you, reaching over to you and pulling you into her arms. she places a gentle kiss on your forehead while rubbing your back comfortingly.“you’re here..thank you.” you whispered to her. “of course I am. anything for my girl.” she said. this is all you wanted. all you ever asked for. her time. as happy as you were though, it just didn’t feel the same..but she was here now and you were gonna make the most of it.

☆

you placed her plate of breakfast onto the table and sat down across from her. you watched her take a few bites of her food before her phone rang. you watched as she let it ring out twice but the call seemed inevitable. she finally picked up the call and went into a different room, leaving you alone. you sighed, realizing what was about to happen. she comes back about 5 minutes later, her face clear with guilt. “my boss called..he said I have to come in.” she muttered quietly. you clenched your hands and shut your eyes, not even asking if she told him no because deep down..you knew the answer. you would always be a second choice for her. “go.” you say sternly. “are you su—” you cut her off once again, “just go.”

abby rubs the back of her neck, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry.” she says quickly before walking back into your shared bedroom and getting ready to leave and head to her beloved job. “un-fucking-believable..” you scoff, standing up from the table and heading into the living room. you fall back onto the couch, closing your eyes and sighing as you throw your head back in agitation. you were so angry and frustrated but at the same time sad and understanding. you knew abby cared a lot about her job and being a manager to a company is something you’ll never understand..but she would always pass up a chance to miss work. on weekends she would go in too, even if she didn’t have to.

it was a never ending cycle with abby and for some reason she just didn’t understand why you were so mad. the whole house felt so gloomy. there was so much tension and unspoken things that seemed to be lingering. abby came out the room and stopped to look at you, frowning slightly as she fixed her collar. “baby I promise I’ll try to make it home early tonight. I mean it.” abby bites the inside of her cheek while she waits for your response but all she’s faced with is silence. she takes a deep breath and grabs her keys, opening the door to leave but not before saying ‘I love you’ and closing the door. you feel your eyes sting, tears threatening to leave them. it might’ve been selfish but you missed when abby wasn’t a manager. back then, she used to make her schedule as flexible as possible to accommodate the both of you but now her schedule was just mainly work. everything was becoming too much and you were fed up.

☆

3 days had went by since then. barely any words had been exchanged between you two since you rarely see her and when you do, she’s “too tired to argue” and goes to bed. abby genuinely thought that you didn’t want to talk to her..at least civilly of course. she questioned a lot about why you were distant but never got the chance to ask you. you gave up on calling her and asking about where she was because you knew where she was. though this night was different. abby actually came home but..out of it? she seemed tipsy or almost completely drunk. she looked like she had been crying her eyes out for hours and when she spotted you on the couch, she basically lost it. “baby…” she murmured as she stumbled towards you. her hair was extremely disheveled and her breath reeked of alcohol. “abigail, are you drunk? how did you even get home? are you ok?” you bombarded her with questions immediately, standing up and inspecting her carefully.

“I’m fine. I had a co worker drive me home.” she looked away from you, obviously sounding ashamed of herself once again. “but don’t worry about me, I just wanna make things up to you..” she looked back at you before wrapping her arms around you and kissing you passionately. you almost gave in but pushed her off of you gently. “abby..no. I’m sorry but you can’t keep thinking that sex can fix everything…and you can’t keep brushing everything off like it’s nothing. you’re literally drunk and you’re telling me not to worry? forget about it.” you turn around and walk into the bedroom, abby following close behind you. “y/n, wait please. I can make it up to you a different way..I’m sorry.” abby sounds desperate now. her voice strained and raspy, you almost feel bad for her but you were at your limit. you grab a small bag and throw some clothes into it, as well as any other necessities you had needed and turned to finally face abby.

“abby I— I can’t do this. you don’t have time for me anymore and you always think that fucking me will magically make me forget about how you treat me. I’ve tried so hard make things work but every time I think you finally realize how I feel, you show me that you clearly don’t.” you pick up the bag swiftly and go to leave the room but abby blocks you. “y/n, baby, please..we can fix this..I can fix this.” she’s hysterical now. her face red and wet from her tears. you can tell she’s probably sincere but you were too angry to care. “it’s too late, abby. I’m done.” you move her off of you and shove past her. “I’m gonna stay by a friend. please don’t call me. I don’t wanna talk to you for a while..or at all. I’ll have the rest of my stuff out of here by the end of next week.” you look back at abby who looked so distraught yet wasn’t saying anything. abby had now realized what was wrong. not like she didn’t before but she had been oblivious to the severity of the situation and never bothered to actually have a conversation with you about anything.

you took up your car keys and left. abby rushed over to the front door and watched as you got into your car and drove away. and although you were pissed, abby was someone you expected to stay with for eternity. you two were together for so long that you would’ve never guessed that your rival would be her job. as you drove up to a red light, you could feel yourself slowly unraveling as you screamed in the car. you hit your steering wheel harshly as you cursed and wailed to your hearts content. you knew you still loved abby badly, but you couldn’t even keep up with her. despite the times you would see her, all she would do is eat, sleep, and leave for work. this was your breaking point. you heard the vibration of notifications coming from your phone and ignored it, continuing to drive even while wildly crying behind the wheel.

☆

when you finally pulled up to your friends house, composed and collected, you looked at your phone and felt your heart sink. abby called you over 10 times and only now had resorted to texting. you felt yourself gradually becoming reckless again as you read the few messages she sent you.

‘I’m so sorry. I feel like I just lost everything.’

‘we can work things out. I promise. please come home.’

‘I never meant to hurt you baby. I never wanted the relationship to end because of me.’

‘please respond. at least let me know that you’re ok.’

you can sense yourself getting sick by the second. you felt horrible. but if abby wouldn’t put you first, then you had to. you didn’t respond to her messages and for great measure, you made the harsh decision to block her. you had to stand your ground. you felt better. at least you thought you did. you made the right decision right? you couldn’t turn back now anyway. this was for the best.

tags: @softlysunrays @mariefilms @aouiaa 🎀 ( I love u guys )

[thesilmarillionblog]

𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 6

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, hurt, language, PTSD, violence, mention of drugs, mention of torture, mentally unstable Soldier Boy, anger issues

Word Count: 3127

A/N: English is not my first language.

* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.

For the previous three days, Soldier Boy, Butcher, and Hughie had been searching for you and researching research from several decades ago. Ben wasn't doing well since he was becoming more and more impatient every day and was preoccupied with what he had done to you. The most difficult part was that you might still be tortured while he is free, in spite of his failings. He was struggling not to punch the two idiots who said they could help him find you, but the fact was that he felt guilty for not finding you quicker.

Soldier Boy was constantly smoking weed, and Hughie was staring at the screen of the device he had in his lap, which he called his "laptop." Soldier Boy was taken aback to discover that the device's internet genuinely knew everything. He studied everything fascinating about the modern world during the night so that when he found you, he could teach you such things.

“According to an official statement, Y/N betrayed the company by selling specific highly confidential information to Russia. This had to have happened after you were captured and taken to Russia. Am I correct?” Hughie questioned, showing Soldier Boy the date.

Ben became outraged and said with rage, “Yes,” taking a tenth sniff at the drugs that were on the table. “She didn't rebel against the government; screw that. Selling information to Russia? She wouldn't even offer her flowers for sale.” He truly wanted to prevent himself from punching Hughie or the internet. “Fucking snakes.”

Hughie and Butcher exchanged a look as Soldier Boy went on to swear and praise your innocence. Hughie got a bit anxious when he heard his heater's alarm go off.

With a swift “Okay, okay,” Hughie calmed Soldier Boy. “You can't always rely on the Internet. Everyone knows that already.”

With a suspicious voice, Butcher asked Soldier Boy, glancing at the TV from Hughie's other side, “Why did she leave them though? There has to have been something that happened.”

Soldier Boy was making a lot of effort to move past these painful recollections in order to start over, but those guys were a little too inquisitive and were doing everything in their power to make him feel uncomfortable. He lied, not knowing what to say, saying, “I don't know.” He could feel the heat rising in his chest every second as a result of their pointless questions.

Soldier Boy inhaled deeply and paused for a moment, ruminating on the day he fired you from the team in a very jackass way. If he had seen the previous version himself, he would have suffered a major head injury. You wouldn't have had to go through such things if only he had listened to you once. He caused you to be hurt in every manner possible.

“She didn't do anything wrong, yet I dismissed her from the squad. Noir is the reason everything happened. What a fucking  traitor!” In an attempt to hide his errors by placing the blame elsewhere, Soldier Boy said it aggressively.

Butcher's eyebrows rose up, and he turned to face Hughie, who had been trying to figure out what Soldier Boy was saying.

“What action did Black Noir take? I take it that he didn't fuck her or something during the time you developed feelings for her.” Butcher questioned him in a humorous way.

Ben growled, “Watch your fucking language, or I'm going to make you gargle my hairy balls in that garrulous mouth of yours,” while Butcher gave him a frightened little look to Hughie, who was about to pee in his trousers since the alarm of the heater was freaking him out with his every word. They wouldn't do well if Butcher continued to annoy Soldier Boy in that way.

“You don't need to know the fucking details; just find her,” Soldier Boy continued, cutting Butcher off before he could say anything else.

This states that she would be imprisoned in America for the rest of her life due to her betrayal and that her body would be studied in the future. It appears they covered up your situation but not hers. Hughie continued to scam every headline about you, saying, “There is no more recent news.”

When Hughie said your body would be examined by the best scientists and doctors, Soldier Boy cursed again. Despite being the strongest superhuman in the world, they had tried to kill him by torturing him severely for years. Even to him, they were all downright painful and disgusting. He didn't want to think about how much pain you endured for decades because of his mistakes. When he saved you from the lab, he would make sure everyone who had harmed you died there, and you could start over.

“Actually, we have a very good friend from Vought. She is also conducting extensive searches by herself. It won't be long until we locate your teammate for you.” Hughie said as he picked up his phone as soon as it began to ring.

Despite the fact that it has been a week and the explosion he created is still being shown on TV every night, Soldier Boy cautiously listened to every phone call in the hopes of learning something about you. However, there was still no single sign. He was sure they were plotting new plans to capture him once again. All of them were fucking cowards.

Butcher offered Soldier Boy a glass of whiskey while Hughie was on the phone with Annie in the kitchen.

“Is he fucking a supe woman?” Soldier Boy asked in disbelief. That guy, Hughie, was full of surprises, though his face was screaming that he was a bottom.

“Never judge the book by its cover,” Butcher smirked.

“So the whole thing was a lie, huh?” As if Ben hadn't repeated the same thing a hundred times, Butcher inquired again. “She must have done something really bad to find herself in a situation like yours.”

Butcher was interested in hearing the story because he wanted to know what was ahead. Dealing with Soldier Boy was dangerous enough, but it would become even more problematic if you shared his anger management issues. For a week, Butcher watched your films and interviews, but he was aware that the media was the least reliable source on earth, particularly when it came to superheroes.

With a menacing glance at Butcher, Soldier Boy merely stated, “She didn't do anything wrong. All she wanted to do was get herself free from the team. It seems that they decided not to respect her decision to leave.”

“What do you think she’ll do when she’s free?” Butcher asked with curiosity and added, “Will she team up with you again despite all?”

For days and hours, Soldier Boy had considered saving you, but he dismissed your feelings upon seeing him again. Thinking about it was not something he wished to do. Even though he was well-known for his confidence, he had been secretly experiencing some insecurity lately, even if he didn't want to acknowledge it. It wasn't that he didn't look nicer; in fact, he was in better form than before, but he was anxious that your opinion might change about him. He was aware that your rescue was more essential than those things, though. Later on, he would be considering the relationship between you.

“I don’t know, but of course she’ll team up with me,” he said trying to sound confident and sure of himself.

Soldier Boy instantly got up from the couch when Butcher's lips parted to ask another question. He focused on the woman Hughie was speaking to on the phone. She was talking about a supe expert physician who had been assigned to study the bodies of the captive supe for scientific purposes for decades, someplace in America.

With great excitement, Hughie hung up the phone and turned to face Butcher and Soldier Boy. He said, “Annie found something. Searches conducted by the government on supe bodies appear to have begun decades ago with Soldier Boy and Y/N. They recruited the world's brightest physicians and scientists to work strictly with Vought.”

Soldier Boy impatiently urged him, saying, “Go on” and tell all the shit already.

“All right. There is a single scientist in charge who watches over all supe captives for his scientific studies. He is required to report to Vought twice in a span of three months, in great detail. It has continued for many years. He is retired last year, but he most likely has knowledge of the location of Y/N.”

Soldier Boy thought, Fuck. At last, he located you. As Hughie spoke about the significant possibility of somebody knowing your whereabouts, his heart raced with excitement.

Butcher said, “Starlight did a really good job there, huh,” with a meaninful grin at Hughie's bashful but proud smile.

After a little period of time spent lost in thought, Soldier Boy eventually grabbed his shield from the corner, straightened his suit, and exclaimed, “Let's fucking give a visit this son of a bitch.”

Soldier Boy ignored Butcher and Hughie's warnings and used a forceful move to smash through the old man's door after spending hours on the road and thinking about you. Soldier Boy cast a glance in the direction of the elderly man and thought, ‘They could go fuck themselves.’ Because of his alleged scientific accomplishments about the supes, he was obviously living in luxury. As Soldier Boy cautiously made his way inside the doctor's huge home, his heart was filled with immense fury. He considered the number of times this old cunt had tormented you in order to send Vought a disgusting report.

The doctor was sitting on his couch, watching the news on TV, when he noticed Soldier Boy standing right in front of him. As the strongest supe and two other men entered his home as if they intended to kill him, he was in disbelief and did not know what to do.

After cleaning his spectacles, the doctor said in a shaky, scared voice, “What's happening? Why are all of you in my house?”

Butcher replied, “This is not very welcoming of you, old man,” and he turned off the TV before sitting down on the closest chair. Hughie swiftly but gently took the phone from the old man's hands when Butcher noticed him reaching for it. Hughie made the doctor sit down again with the same gentleness.

Soldier Boy gripped his shield more firmly, as though he were about to engage in combat with his greatest enemy. He gazed at the elderly man in front of him who was in fear and worry, and he loathed him. Still, he had good reason to be frightened. After all, that would be his last day.

“You live in a nice, big house, huh?” Soldier Boy spoke as he moved slowly in the direction of the doctor. “It appears that you made a good living off of the supes you tortured.”

As Soldier Boy approached with menacing steps and a look like a bloodthirsty murderer, the doctor gulped down nervously. “It's not what you think. I don't know how you escaped from Russia, but you need to stay calm and listen to me,” the elderly guy remarked, raising his hand in protest. “My actions were crucial for both the ongoing wellness of the world and the study of supe.”

"Why the fuck would I listen to your bullshit at all?" Standing by the elderly doctor, Soldier Boy remarked fiercely. “You tortured and used supes for money, you fucking old shit.”

The doctor raised his eyebrows slightly and replied, “Not for money. My work throughout the years has contributed to a better understanding of superhero bodies, which has made it easier to bring your kind to the pinnacle of perfection.”

Before Soldier Boy, Butcher growled, “Perfection? Fuck that. You just made the government's weapons better, served their evil shit for years. Nothing more.”

Soldier Boy battled to contain the heat rising from his chest. Instead of apologizing and beg for his life, the doctor didn't acknowledge that what he had done was wicked and immoral and continued to defend himself which made Soldier Boy even more angrier.

“I saw the explosion in New York from the TV,” the doctor said, adjusting his eyeglasses and looking at Soldier Boy carefully. “You cannot deny that what you experienced in Russia made you stronger and better.”

“I killed people there, you sick old fuck.” Soldier Boy grunted and looked at the doctor with disgust. “Have you fucking lost your humanity by examining the supes for years?”

Without letting the doctor  talk any further, Soldier Boy asked angrily, “Where is Y/N? Don’t tell me you don’t know a shit, because I fucking know you sent some reports about her to Vought.”

Butcher and Hughie worriedly watched Soldier Boy, his hand clenched into a fist, as if he may blow at any moment. Soldier Boy grew angrier the longer the old bitch talked. 

The doctor honestly said, “Yes. I spent decades working on her. I can't dispute that she's a bit of a rebel, or somewhat resistant. But because of the research we were able to conduct on her body, we were able to perfect Comp-V, which undoubtedly contributed to Queen Maeve's current status as the strongest female supe in history. And without a doubt, your body assisted Homelander in becoming the strongest supe ever.”

Hughie muttered, "Holy fucking shit," at witnessing the ascending smoke rising from Soldier Boy's chest.

“Where is she now?” Soldier Boy repeated, trying to maintain composure and control over his body while ignoring what the doctor said. “Where on earth are you keeping her concealed?”

“Calm down. I'll tell you where she is,” stated the doctor. “It appears that there will be no stopping what is about to come about, which will ultimately bring the two of you face to face with the Seven. When you get back to where you belong, you'll both realize how weak and worthless they are; you'll see they are the upgraded versions of yourselves.”

Hughie and Butcher quickly left the house after realizing that Soldier Boy would soon blow up the entire place. The doctor didn’t feel anymore as he realized it was his end. He knew such thing would happen sooner or later. He had already a good life after all.

It's fine, he thought, if it was a challenge. If needed, he could simply kill those seven whores. Soldier Boy was willing to remind them all how fucking stupid it was to fuck with him. If this fucking old dick believed he had made the new supes better than him and the rest of the world agreed with his bullshit, Soldier Boy would show them how wrong they all were.

“Where is she?” Soldier Boy growled again as he was getting closer to blow up.

“She’s in Ohio,” the doctor said, giving the full address just before Soldier Boy exploded the whole place into ashes.

This time, unlike the second explosion he had in New York, he did not pass out. He was relieved and at ease at the same time because it appeared that he was becoming more adept at using his new powers. Luckily, he was also able to locate you at last. He got in the car and gave the address he was given to Butcher, who had been looking into the damage Soldier Boy had done after leaving the burned-out house. Hughie's eyes widened in fear as he crouched where he was seated. 

After several hours, Butcher drove them to a massive, desolate structure that resembled the one in Russia. Soldier Boy was more nervous and angry than ever as he recalled unpleasant experiences, but his need to see you overcame these emotions. His gaze was fixated on the building as they all got out of the car. So that's where you were imprisoned there for years, apart from him and all alone.

Soldier Boy led the way without speaking a word, and when five guys came up to stop him from entering inside, he threw them hard against the wall. It was funny because some of them started shooting at him, like they could hurt him or something. Soldier Boy killed some of the men with his shield, cutting off their heads, and killed some of them with his bare hands, making sure not a single one remained alive.

Butcher followed behind Soldier Boy, providing his assistance with his own firearm while blasting at men who were making desperate attempts to stop them.

As Soldier Boy massacred everyone there and killed those who were wailing in agony, the place fell silent. After all, each and every one of them had a hand in hurting you.

Soldier Boy and Butcher looked everywhere for you. He knew you were in the lab when he walked into a massive, frigid room. Your soothing scent and presence were sensed throughout his entire body despite it was weak. He swiftly ripped off the metal door and killed the last person standing behind it, ripping her heart from her chest in one motion and ignoring her cries.

He found you in a similar-looking metal box to his, with an item covering your face and putting you to endless sleep. Soldier Boy approached your capsule while laying his shield on the ground and with a heavy heart.

“I kept my promise,” Butcher stated, hoping Soldier Boy wouldn’t betray their deal and thankfully, he gave him a promising nod.

“Here's my sleeping beauty,” Soldier Boy murmered, unable to contain his smile as his heart warmed upon seeing your peaceful face, before he violently tore off the metal door to free you.

Next Chapter

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

A/N: Thank you for your comments for the previous chapter! They made me really happy. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated. -`♡´-

Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto  @yvonneeeee @starryperson  @mfnqueen1 @chaand-sitara @boywivlove @stilinskisthings @brynanna @delaynew @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @yoyoanaria @n-o-p-e-never @ghostslillady @certifiedhaters

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series! -`♡´-