#it is bugged or did some romances get special treatment or something

[emmavakarian-theirin]

also, not to be a perv but does the nudity setting do nothing??

[yuexuan]

Fiction recommendation 21

Time for some more fic recs because its been awhile since I did them!

1. 幻想农场 (Fantasy Farm)

Author: 西子绪

Farming/slice of life, food fic, supernatural, mythology

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

After being fired, Lu Qingjiu finally decided to return to his hometown to farm.

At first, he started raising a pig, and then he found that the pig could solve more high-level math questions than he could.

After that, he started raising a flock of chickens, and then he found that his own fighting ability was one-tenth of that of a single chicken.

Finally, Lu Qingjiu finally realised that this old home wasn’t quite right… Especially a certain person by his side who constantly stared at him day in and day out.

Lu Qingjiu: “Are you drooling because of the spicy stir-fry I’m holding or because of me?”

Bai Yuehu pointed at the stir-fry.

Lu Qingjiu: “Then can you let go??”

Bai Yuehu reluctantly glanced at Lu Qingjiu’s arm, before loosening his teeth.

Comments:

My first thought is: don’t read this fic when you’re hungry. Every chapter is filled with delicious descriptions of food that’ll make one’s mouth water. The novel makes a lot of references to creatures from the Classics of the Mountains and Seas, which is a delight to learn about. An easy-to-read, fun novel. 

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation 

2. 全球高考 (Global Examination)

Author: 木苏里

Infinite flow, suspense, action

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

One day, You Huo and his famiIy was puIIed into an exam caIIed the GIobaI University Entrance Examination. Going through exams together with other unfortunate examinees, their Iives are put at stake and they can only Iive by passing each exam. However, something about these exams and the system controIIing it didn’t seem right — lt seemed to be trying to trap the examinees with ridiculous ruIes and strange questions…

There, You Huo meets lnvigiIator 001 who seems to hoId a key to the past he no Ionger remembered and, together, they go through the exam, unravelling the mysteries behind their past and the system.

Tldr: A pair of chaotic madmen work together to go against the examination system while feeding the readers dogfood.

Comments:

I admit that I didn’t like the story when I first started reading it. But as the story progresses, the rules of the examination fall into place and the different examinations got very challenging and interesting. The whole power couple and stranger-to-lover tropes are an added highlight. 

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation | Audio drama | Manhua

3. 全球上线 (Earth Online)

Author: 莫晨欢

Infinite flow, suspense, survival, action

Summary:

Six months ago, tens of thousands of huge towers appeared all over the world, floating over cities. No one could do anything about them.

Half a year later, people are used to the towers and learned to ignore them.

One day Tang Mo saw a bug fly towards one of the towers and hit it.

The next day, a child's voice announced to the entire world: Ding dong! 15th November, 2017, the earth went online.

   The three iron rules of the towers:    (1) The towers shall explain everything.    (2) The game time starts from 6:00 - 18:00.    (3) All players please try their best to attack and defeat the towers.

Comments:

Another suspenseful infinite flow stories. I love the smart power couple dynamic, how the two of them become powerful when they collaborate, but are also equally capable of defeating the towers’ levels by themselves. Moreover, all the characters don’t have your typical “oh let me be a hero and save everyone” complex. They all weighed the benefits and costs at each turn and are capable of making decisions that best maximize their chances of survival - whether that is ruthlessly killing other players or extending a saving hand. All the powers and items that the players received and the world-building are very unique (especially Tang Mo’s and his book haha). This one is gonna challenge your brain a bit, but definitely worth a read. 

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation 

4. 不要在垃圾桶里捡男朋友 (Don’t pick up boyfriends from the trash bin)

Author: 骑鲸南去

Infinite flow, transmigration

Summary [from novel updates]:

Chi Xiaochi: fourth-rate citizen at birth, three-time award-winning film emperor, second-rate temper, first-class looks. He crawled his way out of hell on hard mode to become a winner at life.

Then, he was smashed into a vegetative state by a chandelier.

061: Hello, here’s a brief rundown on the scum gong reconditioning system. This system measures the regret level of the scum gong. Every time their regret level reaches one hundred points, you will be able to leave the current world. A friendly tip, usually, through dedication and self-sacrifice, our employees slowly foster a sense of dependency in the scum gongs, gradually making it so the scum gongs can’t live without them.

Chi Xiaochi: How many regret points is a complete loss of reputation and standing worth? How about a fall from grace? Or wanting something but never being able to obtain it?

061: ……

Comment:

Don’t let the title fool you. I entered the novel thinking it’s some meet-cute modern-day slice-of-life comedy, but it turns out to have some really good angst and adventure moments in there. Heck, it’s been awhile since I cried for a novel. :’) 

There are ten arcs (i.e. worlds) that the protagonist enters, each with its own backstory, so this novel might feel longer than the usual danmei. Nevertheless, I enjoyed all the details placed into each world and all the side characters. I also like that the protagonist is very smart and cunning and he grows throughout the different worlds. The only con I’ll say to this is that everything proceeds a bit too smoothly, especially with the golden finger of 061, so the protagonist can come off as being too OP. Nevertheless, the ending and last world are just huge tear-jerkers. 

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation

5. 迪奥先生 (Mr. Dior)

Author: 绿野千鹤

Comedy, fluff, romance 

Summary [from novel updates]:

One day, Zhang Chenfei met a car accident. Fortunately, he didn’t suffer any serious physical injuries. However, due to the impact of the car crash, his brain’s perception of the real world had turned into that of the novel that he was reading prior to the accident. The thing that horrified his wife, Jiao Qi, was… the Smart Brain, Louis XIII downloaded a series of books which meant that his husband would turn into a different character each time!

How will our adorable little wife deal with this kind of husband who seemed to suddenly suffer from multiple personalities?

This novel’s plot focuses on Zhang Chenfei’s changing personality based from the characters in the books, and how his wife, Jiao Qi, deal with every character as he will have to act in sync with whoever his husband’s character is. This is per the advise of the private doctor since treatment of this special condition was still under research.

As they act out their roles, they will gradually discover and learn more about the other, which they’ve never known in their seven years of living together.

Comment:

The amount of second-hand embarrassment and cringe I got from this novel is huge and I love it lol. If you are curious about how cheesy and cliche Chinese romance can get, please do try reading this. It includes some of the worst and most dog blood tropes in a comedic and satirical way, while advancing the main pairing’s relationship at the same time. Truly a fun read!

Novel | Novel [Eng] Translation | Manhua

Other quick links:

Fic tag guide

My previous recommendations (mostly danmei + fanfics)

List of novels/fics that I have already read

[everydisneymovie]

Review #55: The Parent Trap

Post #60

9/6/2020

Next up is 1961′s The Parent Trap.

Enjoyment : [4]

I am sad to report that this movie is rather boring. The gags can occasionally be funny but there is not a lot of character motivation to make them more than shallow chuckles. Susan and Sharon have some individuality but as it goes on they basically become functionally the same person ironically. The adults never get enough depth to warrant investment and so the emotional moments don’t really land with the proper weight. Overall I think this movies biggest sin is just how boring it ends up. We jump between Susan and Sharon far too often in the first half for them to bond with their estranged parents, and then we don’t get enough time with the parents reunited to rekindle their romance. It is all just so shallow.

Quality : [3]

This movie is very sloppily made. The biggest sin is just how poorly the actor doubling is. They didn’t hire actual twins they had one child actor, and a body double in a wig. There are several shots where you can see the body doubles face and the split screen effect is nothing to write home about. When you realize that one twins face is always obscured by something, you can never unsee it. Why not just hire actual twins? You may ask. Keep in mind Hayley Mills was already in a Disney movie and probably had a fixed payment contract, so it was cheaper to just hire a low paid extra in a wig than find new actors and write up new contracts. The rest of the movie isn’t anything special either. The editing is very basic and there is no motivation behind the camera. Overall a very dull movie from a technical sense.

Hold up : [2]

This movie opens with the line“Bless our broken home!” and I remember saying to myself “They better not say that divorce is always a mistake” and... yeah that’s kinda where the movie lands on the subject, save one brief conversation that is quickly proven wrong. There is also a pretty racist moment where they focus on  dressing up like a “gypsy” and it lasts about 10 seconds but was evidently important enough to make it into the wikipedia synopsis. Also, this movie really hates women. Vicky is shown to be a scheming gold digger trying to steal the dad’s money. However, at no point do any of the character get actual proof that she is a gold digger. They just hate her and play mean pranks on her and say really hateful stuff to her purely based on a hunch. They could have solved this with one scene of the twins overhearing Vicky talking about her evil plan (she monologues several times.) But this never happens. They just hate her because she is young, blonde and hot. It came across as really weird and specifically degrading in a very sexist way. It actually makes the protagonists really unlikable since they have very little justification for their actions beyond jealousy.

Risk : [4]

This movie remains very comfortably on the side of traditional marriage between a man and woman. The adults come across as very complex because they frankly state why their relationship didn’t work out, but then just decide to get remarried without any real change on either persons part. The comedy is not very subversive and the plot is very pedestrian. I feel like this was a step back from some of the previous live action movies. At least Pollyanna had a lovely aesthetic and Absent Minded Professor had it’s charm. This movie doesn’t really have anything to say.

Extra Credit : [1]

The pranks at the start are kinda funny, but honestly I laughed more at the bad effects than any actual joke.

Final thoughts:

It’s funny, thinking about how Absent Minded Professor and The Parent Trap came out back to back, and both got remakes. I am going to make a prediction right now, that the remake of Absent Minded Professor will not be as good as the original, and the remake of The Parent Trap will be superior to the original. The three biggest issues with this movie are as follows: The effects are bad in a very un-charming way, since they come across as lazy and not just low quality. Next is how the movie feels very defensive of traditional marriage. It always feels like the movie WANTS to declare that divorce is pure evil, but also knows it can’t come out and just say that. The last issue is how mean spirited the treatment of Vicky ends up coming across. An evil villain getting humiliated is fine, but only if the heroes KNOW they are the villain. Imagine watching Superman beat a random stranger to death because he “felt like it” even if that stranger is revealed to be a super villain. It feels like that to me.  I also want to say, that divorce is not always a bad thing. Sure it sucks when it happens but if a relationship makes one or both parties unhappy, you are in no obligation to stay even it would be ‘easier’ for the kids. Divorces are not just little ‘oopsies’ that you can later undo, they usually have legitimate reasons to happen. They should have put more effort into showing the mom and dad growing as people who can be in a relationship again, not just “I guess we should give it another shot because we are still in love.” Like they both still love each other and both still want to be in a relationship despite not having changed at all? Then why did they get a divorce in the first place? Didn’t intend to rant but that specific aspect really bugged me. Media tends to frame divorced characters as “going to end up back together eventually” and that is not how it goes in real life. Having the kids learn that their parents are wonderful individuals and that them getting back together is not realistic would have been a way better narrative.

Total Score: 14/50

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[escapingreality1992]

Haircuts and Head Massages

Inspired by Bucky’s new look for Falcon and Winter Soldier.

Bucky x OC - Bucky and Tara meet when Steve and Sam brings him back to the compound. Tara gives Bucky a head massage like she does for everyone and it becomes their special thing. Feelings arise during a movie night three months later and they go on a date falling in love with a kiss. Cut to seven months into dating, Tara throws a barbecue and Bucky decides it’s time for a change with a haircut and a shave.

           Buried under three fluffy blankets in the lounge, I sat alone reading a book, music playing in my earphones. The compound wasn’t empty; most people stayed in their room not bothering anyone. A routine we were accustomed to. I knew Steve and Sam had gone out to take care of some private business; whatever it was, they chose not to disclose it to me even though I tried to pry it out of them.

           Engrossed in my novel – a fantasy with magic, wizards and all sorts of different creatures – the music blaring in my ears, I failed to hear their return, failed to see them approach me, a new recruit in tow, until someone tapped me on the shoulder. On instinct, I sent them sprawling to the floor with a kick to the chest and using my weight to pin them down; one earbud fell out of my ear, letting me hear their struggle.

           “Tara! It’s me, Sam. I’m sorry I scared you. Get off me please,” the “intruder” shouted. Realizing my mistake, I got off him, helping him to his feet.

           “Sorry. I had my music blasting. You’re back. Where’s Steve? Where did y’all go?” I stated.

           “We picked up a new friend. A new recruit as well,” Steve’s voice answered, causing me to turn around to face him; Another guy stood beside him, quiet and reserved. He had dark brown hair, which fell to his shoulders, light blue eyes and a beard my fingers itched to run along. He had on a brown jacket, a black Henley, and blue jeans and black boots; a hat on to disguise himself. He wore black gloves, hiding his metal hand away.

           Exactly like Steve does. I’m not really sure it qualifies as a disguise but whatever works, I guess, I thought.

           “Tara, this is Bucky Barnes, my oldest friend. Bucky, this is Tara Thomas,” Steve introduced us. Bucky remained quiet, giving me a wave, barely meeting my eyes. His name sounded familiar and I thought about where I heard it before, realization clouding over my mind as I remembered who he…was.

           “You brought the Winter Soldier here? Have you discussed this with Stark?” I questioned. I noticed Bucky flinched at the name; perhaps a painful memory coming out to play, which he didn’t ask for.

           “I planned to discuss it with tonight. Tara, he’s not…he won’t-,”

           “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything terrible. If you trust him, I trust him,”

           “Thank you. That means a lot. I’ll go talk to Tony. Would you mind if he stays in here with you? I’ll need to borrow Sam while the discussion takes place…just in case some things are…thrown,” Steve said.

           “Hold on mister. It’s your turn. If you think I’m going to let you skip out on this one, you’re sorely mistaken. The discussion-,”

           “We’re talking to Tony. I’ve got to get it over with. Sam, come with me. Buck, stay with her. She can keep you company,” Steve stated, tugging Sam out of the room; Sam shot me an apologetic look and shrug before disappearing with Steve down the hall.

           “Steve! Get back here! Steve!” I yelled to no avail. Sighing with frustration, I ran a hand through my chestnut brown hair, which came to rest on my collarbone. Turning around, I spotted Bucky still standing, hands in his pockets.

           “You’re welcome to sit down. They might be a while. Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” I told him, climbing back under my blankets, resuming my book. Noticing movement, I glanced up to see him sitting on the end of the couch, twiddling his thumbs, still silent; I peered back down at my book, the story distracting my attention from him. Did I think him attractive? Yeah, sure in a I’d-love-to-feel-his-lips-on-mine kind of way. Silence ensued until he cleared his throat as if he meant to say something.

           “Steve’s turn for what?” he asked, capturing my attention. So much for the distraction, I thought as a smile tugged at my lips.

           “Beg pardon?”

           “You told Steve that it was his turn. What did you mean by it if you don’t mind me asking?” he replied. His voice was a bit raspy, husky even, and it pulled me even more to him.

           “Oh, that. Uh, it’s his turn to get a head massage. Everyone gets one here. It’s sort of a comfort thing and apparently, I give really good ones. At least that’s what everyone tells me. The trouble is Steve keeps avoiding his for the month,” I explained, putting down the book. I was done reading for the night, especially since I knew where this conversation was heading.

           “Everyone? Including the women?”

           “Yeah. I’m efficient that way. Even Stephen Strange receives one every once in a while, and he’s not even that close to us,”

           “What does it feel like? How deep do you massage people?”

           “Ah, so the curiosity bug has bitten you. Would you like a demonstration? It doesn’t hurt, I promise. It’s quite relaxing. I do them on myself sometimes. It gets the blood flowing and they say it’s very stimulating for your scalp,” I replied. I removed the blankets from my lap, draping them across the back of the couch so they’d be out of the way.

           “I thought it was Steve’s turn. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. I only asked because it confused me. I…”

           “Bucky, it’ll be all right. Steve can wait. If it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop. Or if you don’t want to do this, that’s fine too. I don’t mind,” I told him. He sighed and shrugged off his jacket, bending down to unlace his boots and pulling them off his feet.

           “Where do I sit?” he asked.

           “You don’t sit. You lay in my lap. Stretch out, grab a blanket if you want. Take off those gloves. You could get overheated,” I replied, flexing my hands to prepare for the massage. He hesitated with the gloves but removed them, the metal from his hand glinting in the dim lighting. He grabbed one blanket – the fluffy black one – draping it over his legs and laid back, his head placed in my lap, his blue eyes gazing up at my blue-green ones.

           “Ready? If it’ll make you feel better, you can close your eyes,” I stated. He nodded and shut them; his breathing shaky, full of nerves. I began, splaying my fingers as I pulled them through his hair, fingertips on his scalp. I applied some pressure, moving them around, giving him the full effect. I occasionally stroked his hair, the same comforting gesture I gave to Loki, Wanda and Natasha. Wanda and Nat liked their hair to be played with, but for Loki it relaxed him to have fingers running through his hair, comforting him.

           For Bucky, it appeared to be putting him at ease. I could see the tension releasing, his limbs going limp. His lips parted open; his breathing steady. I kept going, working his scalp, still stroking his hair in the hopes of bringing him the most comfort I could. I even applied some pressure to his temples, relieving tension there as if he had a headache. Wanting to give him more tingles, I scratched his beard, the roughness of it contrasting with his soft locks.

           I switched between this and his head until his breathing evened out. I continued even as he drifted off to sleep, Bucky turning on his side, his hair tumbling on his shoulders. I checked the time to see how long I had been at it with him. 11 p.m. An hour had passed while I had been giving him the same treatment, I gave everyone else. I heard footsteps approaching, peeked up as I saw Steve and Sam re-enter the lounge. Holding a finger to my lips, I gestured to the sleeping man in my lap. Steve smiled; it was small, glad to see his friend relaxed. He walked around to the back of the couch to whisper in my ear.

           “Thank you, Tara. Tony said he could stay here. If it’s no trouble, could he stay with you until we get his room set up. It’ll be tonight and tomorrow night if that’s okay. It might do him some good to be around you,”

           “It’s no trouble at all. Let him sleep for another hour before we wake him,” I whispered back.

           “You and your head massages. They’re like magic. You put to sleep in five minutes. Not to mention relaxing everyone. I get all tingly when you do mine,” Sam said in a low vice, sitting in one of the armchairs, exhaustion setting in.

           “I’ll give you one tomorrow. And Steve, you’re also getting one tomorrow. No exceptions,” I told them.

           “But-,”

           “No arguments,” I snapped. What began as a demonstration became a regular occurrence for Bucky and me, sparking an unforeseen romance, which would lead to a change Bucky decided to get; a step to a new beginning.

 Three Months Later

           As time went on, Bucky and I became closer, growing to be best friends. We were often paired together on missions, undercover or not; he discovered my true ability – light absorption, which meant I could block out light in specific places when needed.

           It came in handy when we needed to sneak upon enemies, for them to be unable to see us coming. We’d even use it when we were feeling quite mischievous and decided to scare Sam, Steve, or Thor; a trait we picked up from Loki the more we were around him.

           Head massages became a regular thing; he’d come to me when he needed to wind down from particularly stressful missions or when he needed one because he simply enjoyed it. Bucky would even lay in my lap during move nights, our friends giving us strange looks at first, but soon they were so used to it, they didn’t notice, paying attention to the movie. Tonight, someone would say something, bringing out odd relationship to light.

           Movie nights occurred on Mondays; a day when battles appeared to be slower, meetings were dull, or the stress got to be overwhelming. They gave us time to hang out, eating popcorn and indulging in a comedy or a horror movie. Yes, I said horror; not the gory, slasher ones but the psychological thriller ones which would blow your mind with the endings. The genre tonight, more comedy, kind of slasher like. The movie – Zombieland.

           “What I don’t understand is why you two aren’t dating,” Sam stated during one part of the movie.

           “Which two are you referring to?” I asked. I had Bucky’s head cradled in my lap, running my fingers through his silky locks. I paused, getting a pat from his hand to keep going.

           “I’m referring to you and the man you’ve got lying in your lap. I mean, what is going on between you two? You’re constantly giving him head massages and I can’t tell if you’re dating or not,” Sam answered. I frowned, continuing my movements.

           “I give everyone massages. This isn’t an uncommon thing,” I noted.

           “No, you give everyone head massages every once in a while. With Bucky, you’re always found somewhere in the compound, lying on a couch or sitting in an armchair, with him. In your lap. Massaging his head and scratching his beard,” Same argued.

           “Your point is? It’s our thing. There’s nothing wrong with it,” Bucky commented.

           “My point is that you two do it so often it’s hard to tell if you’re dating or only friends. No one’s seen you kissing, which sort of leads me to believe that you’re not but you could be having a secret relationship behind everyone’s back. If you’re not, then the question is why not,” Sam stated.

           “Leave them alone,” Steve said. Sam reached over and shut off the movie.

           “I know everyone’s curious about it. They should answer the question,” he stated.

           “We shouldn’t be under any obligation-,”

           “Okay. Yeah, I’m curious. Why aren’t you two together?” Steve said. When we didn’t answer, Sam asked a different question.

           “Do you like each other?”

           “Yeah. We’re best friends,” Bucky replied.

           “No, no. I mean, do either of you have feelings for each other?” Sam asked. More silence followed; my face grew hot, my fingers stopped moving, the massage over.

           “Are you going to answer the question?” Same pressed.

           “Come on, Sam, Steve. Leave them alone. So, what if they’re not dating? What business is it of yours to know their feelings? If they’re friends, then that’s the end of it. I’d like to get back to the movie, please,” Natasha stated.

           “Don’t you want to know? Friends don’t-,”

           “Drop it bird man. Let them figure it out on their own,” Nat interrupted.

           “Fine. I’m just saying maybe they should date. They’d be a cute couple. You can see the chemistry a mile away,” Sam caved and turned on the movie. I resumed my movements, trying my best to pay attention. Truth is, I did have a crush on Bucky.

           He’s super sweet and funny. Plus, he’s got the looks to match. I’d always hoped he’d feel the same way, but I wouldn’t mind if we were only friends. I wanted him to be happy with whoever he chose. As the movie played on, the more I got to wondering what it would be like to date him. I imagined how his lips would feel against mine; would he kiss me rough, his beard scratching my skin? What about his hands? How would it be to have his metal hand touch me? Anywhere? Everywhere?

           By the time the movie ended, I was aware of my thoughts floating around in my head and all the dates I envisioned would happen if we ever got together.

           “Tara? Can we talk in your room?” Bucky whispered, interrupting the thoughts replaying in my head. I nodded and spotting an opportunity to disappear unnoticed, we headed upstairs to my room to chat. Bucky closed and locked the door behind us, and we sat down on the bed.

           “What did you want to talk about?” I asked, already nervous; my heart beat hard in my chest, hammering away at the thought of his words.

           “I…um…wow. I didn’t realize how hard this would be. Tara, I like you. A lot. I have for a while, but I didn’t know how to tell you. Sam grilling us tonight really put things into perspective. Would you maybe want to go out with me? Tomorrow night?” Bucky confessed, dragging a hand through his hair, making it a tousled mess.

           “You…l-like me? Is that why you always came to me for head massages?” I asked, stunned. Here he sat confessing his crush on me and I was stunned. I literally thought I was in a dream. Someone pinch me, I thought.

           “Partly. You do give really good massages. They’re the best part of my day. I do like you. One could say I might be falling in love with you,”

           “Yes. My answer is yes. I’d love to go out with you,” I stated.

           “Really?” I nodded and he pulled me off the bed into his arms. “Great. I’ll stop by at 6. We can go to dinner and then I’ll take you somewhere for a surprise,” he said, putting me down on the floor. Bucky kissed my cheek and left to go to his room, turning in for the night.

  First Date

           The night of our first date came fast. I dressed casually, not knowing what the second activity was. He stopped by my room at precisely 6 and we left the compound to go to dinner; a burger restaurant we both favored, talking and laughing how we normally did, having a good time. I think we were comfortable enough around each other that we didn’t realize feelings had been brewing until the questions from movie night brought them to light.

           “So, where are we going?” I asked, when we finished up and got on his motorcycle for our second activity of the night.

           “You’ll see. I think you’re going to love it,” he told me, taking off into the night. We rode for 15 minutes, pulling into a parking lot. I got off and lit up at the giant sign in front of me.

           “Roller skating? I haven’t been roller skating since I was a teenager,” I commented.

           “This should be fun then. Come on, let’s go inside,” he stated, taking my hand and pulling me towards the building. He paid the admission and got the tickets for the skates before we entered the rink. We went to the booth for the skates and told them our sizes. Once handed the skates, we sat down on the benches to change our shoes and rolled onto the floor, holding hands. We went fast until they cleared off the floor for couples only.

           We went slow as the music playing, coming to a complete stop at a wall, lost in each other’s eyes. Bucky leaned in for a kiss, pressing his lips against mine; They were warm and soft filled with a passion I hadn’t experienced with anyone before. A fire, hot and burning but simmered as we held the kiss. My hands drifted into his hair, his gripped my waist. After a few moments, we pulled back, unable to open our eyes for a few seconds.

           “That was…” he stated.

           “Hot, very hot, but long desired,” I finished.

           “Want to do it again?” he asked.

           “Oh, yes. Please, yes. Kiss me forever. Drown me in them,” I answered, pulling him to me. Our lips connected, burning hot once more. At this instant, I knew I wouldn’t let him go. Bucky was mine and no one else could come close to the love he gave me or the love I gave to him in return.

   Seven Months Later

           The relationship with Bucky shot off quick. We said the three infamous words ‘I love you’ four months into dating. No one was surprised based on how they reacted when we got back from our first date.

           “I told you they’d be a cute couple,” Sam had said that night. The sex with Bucky was incredible, even after a month of waiting. We made love slow; he preferred me to be on top, riding him until the morning light. Sometimes, we’d only make out, ending up in each other’s arms, snuggled close. Waking up and seeing him beside me managed to bring a smile to my lips each time.

           The head massages are still a regular thing, but they’ve become only our thing; Everyone stopped coming to me for them, finding their own source of stress relief. Today marked seven months of being together and I decided to throw a party, a barbecue if you wish, with my friends and have a good time playing corn hole or darts, or simply ranging out with everyone.

           I employed Tony, Steve, Strange, and Sam in setting up everything, planning on going out to the store to grab the supplies for food and drinks. Thinking about getting Bucky to tag along, I went to find him. He was in our bathroom; his long hair ties up in a half ponytail to keep it out of his face.

           “Hey, sweetheart. I’m going out to pick up supplies if you want to come with me,” I greeted him, hugging him from the side. He kissed me, releasing a sigh.

           “Do you mind if I don’t? I’ve got some errands of my own to before the barbecue,” he replied.

           “I don’t mind at all. I’ll get Wanda and Nat to come with me. Go do what you’ve got to do. I’ll see you later. I love you,” I told him.

           “Thanks, Tara. I love you too,” We shared a kiss and I took off to find the girls. The next time I’d see him, he would have a new look to him I’d love.

  Bucky’s POV

           I left the compound on my motorcycle, nervous of what I was about to do. I pulled up to a barber shop and took a deep breath before entering. I planned on chopping off my hair and shaving, deciding it was time for a change; a new me. I chose not to tell Tara because I didn’t know how she’d feel, and I also wanted it to be a surprise. I loved her and she had been a big help to finding myself again.

           I approached the front desk and told one of the guys working my name and what I needed. I had to wait ten minutes before one called me back. I described what I wanted and sat patiently as he worked on my hair and shaved off the beard. After maybe 40 minutes, he finished, the results exactly what I had in mind. He styled it a little and released me from the chair so I could pay. Leaving the shop, I head back to the compound and walked out back, catching the looks of my friends. Steve was the first to approach me.

           “You cut your hair and shaved? It looks good Buck,” he greeted me.

           “Thanks. I figured it was time for a change. I hope Tara likes it. I’m worried because she’s only seen me with long hair and a beard. What if she doesn’t give me anymore head massages?” I told him.

           “I wouldn’t worry. She’s going to love it. She loves you no matter how you look,” he told me.

           “Speaking of, where is my lovely girlfriend? I didn’t see her when I arrived,” I asked.

           “She went inside to get more drinks,” he replied. I nodded and made my way inside, more compliments thrown my way as I passed. I took another deep breath as I entered the kitchen and placed my hands over Tara’s eyes.

  Tara’s POV

           “Hey, Tara. Don’t turn around yet,” a voice – Bucky’s voice – told me. Hands covered my eyes and I wasn’t sure why.

           “Bucky, what’s wrong?” I asked.

           “Nothing. I just…I did something and I’m not sure how you’ll like it,” he answered.

           “All right. Whenever you’re ready for me to see, tell me,” I commented. He released his hands after a minute, but I closed my eyes, waiting for the words.

           “Okay, turn around. If you have your eyes closed, open them,” he told me. I turned and mouth parted open at him.

           “You cut your hair? And shaved?” I asked.

           “Yeah. What do you think? I thought it was time for a change. Something different,”

           “I love it. You look hot. Not that you didn’t before, but now you’re extra hot,” I replied. A blush formed over his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck. The haircut he got was longer on top, styled for a professional look. I had him turn around to see the back, the hair shorter there.

           “I was worried you might not like it. That you couldn’t give me anymore head massages. That you might not love me anymore,” he told me.

           “Bucky, I’ll always love you. Even you get haircuts or have a beard. I want you just as you are. Hang on, let me get these drinks outside. Meet me upstairs in our room. I’ll be right up,” I stated. He nodded and I took out two more liters of soda for the party while he headed up to the room. I told everyone Bucky and I would be down in a half hour, going back inside to go to him.

           I entered our room, closing and locking the door behind me.

           “Take off your shoes,” I told him. I got on the bed, propping up pillows to lay against, while he did as I asked.

           “Come lay in my lap,” he leaned back, his head in my lap, similar to the first time we met, different in the way he was positioned. I threaded my fingers through his hair, still plenty to play with and started to massage his head, applying the same pressure I usually did. Though he had shaved, I still massaged his jaw, letting my fingers brush his cheeks, his lips.

           “See, I can still massage you. It’s our thing remember. I love you, Bucky,” I whispered. He opened his eyes and sat up. He kissed me, the same desire I had for him flowing through me. The same heat was there in his kiss, only intensified. He pulled back, placing a kiss on my cheek.

           “I love you too. We should go down to the barbecue before everyone get suspicious,” he told me. I nodded and we rejoined our friends outside. Haircuts and head massages. A special love had bloomed for Bucky and me with both.

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Devil’s Temptation pt8

Warnings: Mob styling warlords

Masterlist

---

Chapter 8 – Leverage

He could have gone to his office. Well, it was where he was supposed to go but he found himself returning to his own private rooms. Being around others at the moment would be a bad idea.

Closing the door, he tossed the paper down on the coffee table and went to the kitchenette to find a strong drink to calm his rattled nerves. Only she had ever been able to make this happen to him. That little mouse was still under his skin. A wry smile crossed his lips as he realised the hold, she still had on him. Even if he was unable to see her or touch her right now, that feeling was enough to soothe him. All he needed was to remember her, the sensation of her touch on him, and his raw emotional state melted. Even after all this time, it's still you [Name].

Locating a bottle of strong sake, he took it and a cup through to the living room and sat there pouring and drinking just staring at the paper on the table. He didn’t want to touch it but he also couldn’t take his eyes off it. He felt a little like a spectator at a terrible accident. You know you shouldn’t be gawking but just can’t avoid it. How would they have found you? I suppose you did show up on Nobu’s arm during that time we had issues before. Would that be enough to make them believe a connection was strong enough?

“All I wanted was to see her safe. And now this… I don’t know if I can forgive him.” Mitsuhide muttered as he drank. His words drowning in the afterburn from the alcohol in his throat, but the memory of them lingered. Am I mad at him or me? Mitsuhide reached out a single finger and dragged it lightly over the image before him. “[Name]…”

---

The room provided was beautifully furnished and looked like it might have fallen from a page in a fairy-tale princess book. The bed had a lace canape and all of the furniture looked like that antique French style you saw in all those romance movies. There were no windows to the room, instead, light from a large skylight filled the space making it feel even larger. Well, I suppose as prison cells go this one looks to be pretty comfortable. Although I have no idea why he went for the total princess treatment. It’s like he is working in extremes.

“This shall be your private room here.” Takahiro announced as he all but pushed [Name] further into the room, closing the door behind them. Patience is a virtue… guess someone missed that.

“I thought you said that you would let me go home as one of the conditions to this agreement?” [Name] asked what she knew would prove to be a futile question.

“I did. I didn’t say who’s home though.” Takahiro chuckled like a child that just won a game. [Name]’s face lost its sparkle of wonder from looking at the room, lips pursed in a thin line as they attempted to control their tongue. “Don’t look so angry, it really isn’t my fault if you fail to use even basic perception during a conversation. But you also must understand that you being here following such an announcement also makes the most logical sense.”

“You mean because I’m going to be a target now?” [Name] gave a faint glare. And who’s fault would that be if I am a target now? Although I suppose this time, I did sort of agree to it. Was I given much of a choice though?

“Oh? So, you do get it.” Takahiro closed the distance faster than [Name] could react. Grabbing her and staring at her face. There was a hunger in his eyes as if he had just found his favourite treat. “I was right you have become much more interesting.”

“I told you to keep your hands to yourself.” [Name] swiped away his hand and backed away fast. You already told me you don’t see me like that… besides nothing gives you the right to do that to me.  “Anyway, I still have my own apartment and…”

“That was already taken care of.” Takahiro smirked at her obvious attempt to deflect but he was not really bothered by it.

“What? When?” [Name]’s eyes opened wide as she processed this new information.

“Insignificant details.”

“Insign- how can you say that? It is my life you just showed up in and…” [Name] blustered at Takahiro’s blasé response. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I wouldn’t have to spend some time here like this, but I did think I would be allowed to at least take part in arrangements with my own apartment. Oh… no. What about?...

“I have to return to the office. Now be a good girl and stay put. I have men outside so don’t try anything… childish.” He gave her a meaningful look as he opened the door again. “Oh yes, one more thing.” He retrieved a plastic container with a handle from outside the room.

– Meow –

“Keep it in your room. If Shin sees it, he’ll have a heart attack.” With those parting words, Takahiro handed over the pet crate and left the room without looking back. The door clicked softly shut in the now silent space.

[Name] waited a few minutes before opening the pet crate. The jade green eyes of her beloved cat locked on her as it jumped into her arms. “It’s ok… I’m sorry you were scared huh? You and me both buddy.” [Name] said as she hugged the creature closer, stroking the soft silky fur. Her fingers touched the collar on the cat’s neck. “Well, I guess if anything counts as an SOS this is probably it.”

The decorative design of the collar was pretty but it also served to make the collar look less special. It looked like any imitation gem encrusted pet collar. But that was where the similarities ended. As [Name] clicked and twisted the clasp in a different way and a small light blinked three times before stopping. “And now we wait.”

---

The solemn atmosphere in the room was palpable. Around the large black glass table sat the inner circle of Azuchi Corp. each one of them was a leader of their own families and allied for the same common goal. The information received now hung so heavily in the air it was suffocating.

There was no doubt that a meeting like this had to take place, but for at least one man at that table, none of the finer points under discussion were sinking in. His mind had been going in circles chasing “what if” scenarios as if they were ghosts.

“So where does this leave us now?” Ieyasu asked as he looked Nobunaga directly in the eye.

“Negotiations are a total wipeout. This means we could be back to square one right?” Masa leaned forward resting his elbows on the table looking at Nobunaga as well.

“It is true that we currently do not have a solution to the current open market issue.” Nobunaga kept his voice level as he returned the questioning looks.

There was an undercurrent in the room. It spoke volumes of all the things that were still not being said. No one was happy with the news. It had taken years to get to the point where even the small turf wars had virtually stopped. Naturally, they still happened, some boundary lines were sketchy in places but it didn’t turn into a gunfight as much as it had done in the past. The idea that their peaceful time was under threat was one that all the men in the room felt.

“So, we are facing a declaration of war?” Mitsunari nodded slowly. The glasses he had on his face as he continued to look through some printouts caught the florescent lights in the room and glinted.

“Great just when things were getting nice and peaceful.” Ieyasu grumbled as he pulled back from the edge of the table to slump in his chair.

“You mean boring.” Masa copied the gesture.

It was rather amusing when Azuchi Corp. was first founded the two men had been close. Whether that was due to the closeness in age or territory it was hard to say.

Yasu being the resident contrarian would never admit to being close to anyone. Masa would joke that he was popular with everyone, which of course he was but somehow with these two it was different. They really were like brothers.

“I meant what I said.” Ieyasu glared at Masa, and if looks could do anything you would be forgiven for thinking that Masa might very well turn into a bug.

“Guys this isn’t helpful.” Hideyoshi attempted to drag back the attention of the meeting from the spiral that it had taken.

– Thwap –

The room fell silent once more as a stack of tabloids materialised on the table, scattering as they landed. Each one was a section relating to the new announcement.

“Is that the Princess?” Mitsunari asked as he looked at one of the pages that had settled near him with a look of wonder.

“No way. How the hell did the Kitten get mixed up with that guy?” Masa snatched up a paper scanning the page quickly as if he hoped the information he wanted would just jump out and bite him. Mitsuhide watched the various reactions around the table in silence. He was keeping his mask up, but under it all, he was seething. I wish gathering information was that simple.

“Your ability to show concern whilst also turning my stomach is one I should research more so I can create better anti-nausea drugs.” Ieyasu mumbled as he too picked up a different paper and started looking at it. It was amazing that not one of the men at the meeting seemed to be aware of such a development. But then again news of happy unions that do not have something to do with their own family’s tends to be ignored.

“Hey man, you want nausea you should try talking to Takeda.” Masa retorted with a little thump to the arm of the other.

“It is rather unfortunate.” Nobunaga spoke after looking for a few minutes at one of the photographs. The dispassionate response was the spark that ignited a touch paper inside him. Mitsuhide saw red.

“Unfortunate!?” His usually low baritone voice practically roared in the room as he confronted Nobunaga. “That is all you have to say?”

“Mitsuhide…” Hideyoshi looked at him. He would have snapped as usual but it was clear even he was fighting his own concerns over the girl. During her short stay, she had been treated as a sister to the rather unconventional group.

“No, you can shut up for a minute Yoshi I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the bloody monkey.” Mitsuhide turned his poisonous yellow eyes on the right-hand man. The venomous gaze coupled with the insult provoking an instant response. The last thing I want right now is for you to try to make me feel better. I don’t want pity, empathy or someone telling me it's going to be alright. I want answers.

“Why you!” Hideyoshi pushed hard off the table, his chair scraping loudly on the floor as he stood up in a rage.

“Hideyoshi… Mitsuhide is right, even if his timing leaves a little to be desired this is indeed a conversation between us.” Nobunaga did not raise his voice he barely raised his hand to still the situation. All the time he maintained his observation on the cool, calm and increasingly murderous looking Mitsuhide.

“Yes, Sir.” Hideyoshi did not like it, but he followed the order and took his seat again. Good boy, such a well-trained monkey.

“You knew there was a high chance they were looking into us or planning something.” Mitsuhide continued after being sure that the room was once again not going to interrupt.

“Naturally it is after all standard in our circles to perform such a thing. But it was You who confirmed it in your reports.” Nobunaga’s show of apathy was annoying. He just sat calmly staring back unwavering as if nothing going on involved him in the slightest. How can you be like this?

“Did you think they would go after her?”

“Now how would I have reached such a conclusion? As omnipotent as you seem to believe me to be Mitsuhide I am not however entirely infallible.” Nobunaga’s eyes sparked with a silent warning. One strike…

“I do not believe you to be some sort of deity at all Nobu, I never have. Do I think you have the ability to perform tasks that make others question if you are in fact the devil incarnate? Of course, I do. But I am also aware you are also a man.” Mitsuhide’s words held on to the atmosphere in the room bringing it further into the cold.

“Then you agree that even I am capable of making mistakes?”

“Mistakes yes. But you are far from stupid. That grand master plan you pulled on Takeda proves you are capable of thinking more than just a few steps ahead.” Mitsuhide was stringing together his words admirably given the fact that he was almost totally blinded with rage. “She… [Name] is in this mess because of us… because of you.” The choice of wording was not lost on anyone in that room. They all knew what had happened before it was decided that Mitsuhide should go on a little business trip to benefit the company. The eyes that focused on him now all saw the fractures in his armour. God knows I am far from innocent in this matter. I did this to her… me… I brought her here that night… I had her involved in this twisted world… me. [Name] forgive me…

“As I said it is rather unfortunate that events have taken this turn.” Nobunaga returned to his original statement. He hadn’t moved once during the entire barrage of words and accusations being thrown at him. Do you seriously not care? How can you be so completely devoid of emotion?

“That really is all you have to say?” Mitsuhide tensed as he retreated a little, giving up enough ground in this mental game of warfare to be called an organised retreat whilst still holding his ground.

“What more would you have me say?” Nobunaga could see the shift. He had hoped they had moved to a point after all this time where Mitsuhide could separate himself more from the situation than this.

In all the years they had spent together he had always been the calculated assassin. He could keep his head where others couldn’t. His work was at times the stuff that made nightmares look like a childhood fairy tale. He knew his past and he could see how it had changed him, almost as if something had unlocked that day and it made him one of the best weapons. But now. Now it looked as if the lock was no longer just unlocked it appeared to be totally smashed. Did everything that happened last time affect him so much? Is this what they call it when a highly trained person goes “off the deep end”?

“Nothing. Sir.” Mitsuhide spat out the words with as much venom as he could whilst retaining his now completely expressionless face. Without waiting for anything further he walked out of the room leaving behind the rest of the men who felt powerless to do anything in his wake.

“Where are you going?” Hideyoshi’s concerned voice called out unanswered.

Where indeed?

---

[recentanimenews]

Oregairu 3 – 12 (Fin) – A Genuine Something

First of all, wow, what a finale! It’s a pretty much perfect way to send off our crazy mixed-up kids while giving viewers who have eagerly watched them grow for three years a happy ending that seemed impossible at the beginning, when Hachiman was just an arrogant antisocial twerp. Now he’s an arrogant antisocial twerp with a goddamn adorable girlfriend!

But first things first: business. Hikki roped Yukino into a seemingly no-win joint prom scenario he came up with just as an excuse to keep her in his life, but the two dive into their mission with renewed energy and purpose. While before they’d sit far apart, now they’re right on top of one another, and while their dialogue is still awkward, now it’s romantic awkward.

Hikki even proposes the two go to a beachfront park and scout it as a possible venue on their day off, knowing full well it would be a date. With all the will-they-won’t-they tension melted away, we get to enjoy the warm, gooey romance in the center.

From Hikki noticing and complimenting the alternate hairstyle Yukino did just for him to Yukino pulling Hikki into a bubble tea selfie without a moment’s hesitation, to their reaction to seeing a wedding taking place, it’s just absolutely glorious finally seeing these two together and happy! It TOOK long enough!

The Service Club is back in operation for the sole task of organizing the joint prom, and between Hikki and Yukino, they actually have enough friends and well-wishers to help them out with their tall self-imposed task. Their gradual gathering in the clubroom serves as an unofficial curtain call for several secondary/tertiary characters like Zaiko, Saki, Yumiko, Hina, and Kakeru.

Someone important is missing, but she eventually walks in the door, fashionably late with her trademark “Yahallo!”—Yuigahama Yui, ready, willing, and eager to be working together as a team again, and even though the pain of losing Hachiman to Yukino is surely still fresh and raw, she intends to overcome it and continue a warm relationship with both of them.

Hikki and The Lads go for a quick revitalizing trip to the sauna, where buzz commences about whether Hikki is now dating Yukino. He refuses to answer, but Saiko (notably the only boy wearing his towel as if he had boobs to conceal) has his back as always, saying they all agreed to watch over them, not engage in futile speculation.

Afterwards as the sun starts to go down, Hikki meets up with Yukino, Yui, and Iroha, all ready to go to dinner with him Yui and Iroha leave first, leaving the couple together for a moment. He holds his hand out to help Yukino up, even though he knows she can stand up on her own, and she knows he knows. But he holds out his hand anyway, and Yukino takes it anyway. Daaaaaaaawww…

The big day arrives: the day of the joint prom, yes, but also the day Komachi and Iroha meet. It’s everything I could have hoped for, with the two exchanging formal pleasantries and vicious barbs in equal measure and Yui in the middle as a kind of referee. It’s rare you get Yuuki Aoi, Touyama Nao and Ayane Sakura sharing a scene together, and every moment of it is a gift.

Yukino’s mom tries once more to rattle her daughter’s cage, but her efforts are utterly ineffective. Yukino firmly and confidently acknowledges her duties and responsibilities as the boss of this prom—as well as the potential cost to her family’s rep if it doesn’t go well. When turning to leave, Haruno tells Hikki to “brace himself” for a real, genuine journey he’s undertaken with Yukino.

But thanks to all of their hard work and the assistance of their friends, the prom goes off without a hitch just like the last one, only without the dread of the three friends breaking up forever upon its conclusion. If the first prom celebrated the end of the beginning, this prom heralds the start of a new era for Hikki, Yukino, and Yui.

And all of this is, in large part, thanks to Hiratsuka Shizuka, who never stopped bugging a younger, stupider Hikki to join the Service Club and meet similarly transient souls who’d benefit from each other’s interactions. Shizuka ends up getting a lovely extended curtain call and special treatment in the form of a dance with Hikki in a emptied-out hall bathed in a gorgeous sunset.

Then Hikki gets a little lucky when Shizuka trips and lands on him. The romantic energy has never been stronger between these two, but Shizuka is content to be the wise sensei who considers Hikki to be her Ultimate Student. He’s proud of him, and he’s grateful to her, and their warm handshake is the perfect parting gesture.

Speaking of perfect, a seemingly frazzled Yukino has a thick stack of papers in hand as she warns Hikki that the “hard part” of the prom has just begun. Before they split up to perform the various necessary tasks, she rattles off a list of thinks for him to take care of. As the list grows, Hikki starts thinking it’s too much…until Yukino tells him one more thing: I love you.

She said it! No half-measures or weasel words, just the big three! Upon seeing Hikki’s stupid blushing reaction, she shrinks into her papers and shuffles away. I loved it, and even though he knows he’ll have to say something just as clear and unambiguous in response to her in the very near future, Hikki loved it too. The things about her that annoy him also kill him with cuteness, and I’m sure the feeling’s mutual.

Fast forward to the start of Hikki and Yukino’s final year of high school. The two are in the clubroom tying up lose prom ends when their new kohai Komachi enters, enthusiastically volunteering to join the Service Club. When they tell her no such club exists anymore, Iroha follows Komachi through the door (complaining about how fast the “little rice girl” runs) with a StuCo-preapproved application for a New Service Club.

Komachi is the new president, and no sooner do Hikki and Yukino learn they are listed as members does their very first new client arrive with another “Yahallo!” Yui has come for advice on what to do if the person you like has a girlfriend, but you want to be friends with her forever.

A knowing Yukino offers Yui a seat and prepares to pour her some tea. This could take a while, but it could take forever as far as they’re concerned, since that would mean they’d always be together, figuring it out, as they have so many other things.

By: sesameacrylic

[des-shinta]

So I saw Anne Rice’s Book “Interview with a Vampire” at work...

And I started thinking...what if it Was an ACTUAL interview?  As In, For a Job. Just Go with me for a second. A Snarky, Deadpan Pharmaceutical researcher get’s fired from her job after a requisition order she commissioned for supplies falls through after she’d already taken the materials.  She finds work with another researcher, who she discovers to be a Vampire After seeing all the clues; special anti-UV windows, not a silver thing in sight, avoids reflective surfaces...but the tip off is when she tries to get him on camera, and only digital ones work.   Though the dude is shown to Love Garlic and is shown wearing a white Misato-Katsuragi-like Cross.  Can’t buy into all of them. So she’s forced into a confrontation... ...and the Guy, while a scientific Genius, is a Total Dork.  Like, Complete subversion to the swave, seductive badasses and/or Monsters seen the likes of...Near all Vampire media Ever.  Into Geeky things, Dances like a Nerd oblivious to how goofy he looks (Perhaps to the tune of a risky business dance scene?), and Feints at the sight of blood.  She initially freaks out, but ultimately finds him harmless as a result. ”What, next you’re tell me you’re at war with Werewolves!” ”Oh don’t be Ridiculous, Werewolves don’t exist.” His research?  Artificial plasma, based off what he made to not, well, Die, since he’d pass out every time he fed off people.  And Since she has her own research goals, she agrees to keep it a secret. I see this as going the way of a Will and Grace Satirical comedy skewering Vampire media tropes.  Like, the guy and Girl?  No Attraction, no Chemistry, Absolutely ZERO Romance subplot. Not only is he not her type, he’s creeped out by the idea of getting close to someone like that because...he’s a walking corpse and he doesn’t know where the line is; and he’s science-y enough in his thinking that it bugs him.  They are Will and Grace except the guy is a Vampire instead of Gay. The girl could admittedly be Gay or just Asexual, it wouldn’t really matter to the overarcing story. There’s a vampire hunter (of any Gender, age or nationality, again something that wouldn’t matter; though we’d want to avoid the ‘Blade Reject’ or ‘aren’t you supposed to be hunting hopping zombies’ nonsense) that tries to warn her with grave seriousness of her straights when she’s out on a break, and she just keeps on Ordering Lunch at a Kiosk. “I know it seems ridiculous, but your life is in Danger.” “What’s The soup of the day?  I’m in the mood for something Creamy.” “Your Boss is a Vampire” “And A Diet Pepsi, or do you guys Stock Coke Products?” Eventually the hunter barges into The Guy’s place and he drops to the ground Screaming as he literally has no Training to fight nor Vampiric instincts nor the strength due to the current serum he uses just leaving him with no Super-human abilities as it’s so inefficient beyond dealing with the urge to drink.  They make fun of the Hunter’s outfit-- ”Look, you freaking power rangers reject--” ”Actually it’s more like super sen-” “*Glare*” ”Shutting up now.” --And with a Warning the hunter settles in to watch him with one eye open. For you see, this is all a Subversion.  The dude’s not some noble hero or Powerhouse monster, he’s just a Guy that happened to get turned into a Vampire. He’s not even really the main character, he’s just the impetus for all these events coming together. The Twist, as you’re all expecting it, is that other Groups have Gotten word about their research; some vampires liking the idea of not being Blood-sucking abominations so are privately funding it, others see it as a threat to their societal structure and how things have gone for untold time with them.  This all Culminating with them Kidnapping the Girl in an attempt to get him to destroy his work (throw in a scene of the guy and the hunter arguing about how to rescue her where he pulls out a gun he shows no capability with only to shoot himself as he only has movie knowledge of guns, result in him fainting from the blood...which only further shows how bad it would be for him to have a gun) ...Only for the Girl to actually shown to be the more dangerous of The Two.

For they did this...on a full moon.  Seeded throughout the story is The girl, like the Guy, avoiding Silver; asking for three days off a month, reacting just as badly as the guy when the Hunter Tries to use Silver Nitrate on him, stuff like that.  Her initial question on the earlier reveal, And the reason she needed the chemicals? Yeah, she’s a recently Turned werewolf and like him was looking for a cure or treatment for her condition.  Not expecting it, they didn’t think to prep for one, and she gets herself out of their own Damn Mess in the special-effects splurge expected of A Vampire movie. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a Werewolf?” “They don’t exist, remember?” The story would end on the pair just sharing some popcorn while riffing a bad Vampire movie...say Twilight or Dracula 2000.  Maybe the latter Underworld Films. Admittedly I just thought about this while working so is barely an outline, and I am NOT a good Enough Writer to develop it, But Tumblr? This one’s a Freebie. Have at.

[alands9]

S2E06 Melora

They should shoot the station from below more often. It's got a lot more floors, and helps give it better sense of scale. I do repeat my original complaint: they need to do some close-ups to really give a sense of scale.

I suppose I'm not surprised that the Cardassian space Station is not ADA compliant.

“Not acceptable?” It would be one thing if she declined the offer, but I'm not sure that as an ensign she should be declaring things unacceptable.

I'm rather disappointed. They made a big deal about how she comes from a super low gravity world. I was hoping for something a little more alien than somebody who looks like a human.

“Trolley car?” You can cover it with unnecessary sheets of metal and call it a trolley car, but it's a wheelchair.

I know humans who don't get around as well as she does with a cane. The wheelchair seems overkill.

By the Prophets, we're not doing a disability episode, just replacing somebody who's actually disabled with a space alien, are we? I suppose it was the 90s. That would have been progressive for television in the 90s.

You'll adapt? It can literally be replicated in a few minutes. There's desiring independence, and then there's just being bull-headed.

She is really mouthy to people who are her superior officers. She better be the prophets’ gift to stellar cartography.

Also, the wormhole has been being explored for what, a year now? I doubt there's much cartography to do with a quick jaunt through the wormhole. For a longer-term exploratory mission, you need more than just one or maybe two people in a runabout, you need crew and supplies for an extended period. And I'm not so sure about needing a specialist in cartography. It seems like the sort of thing that just about anybody who could fly a runabout with suitable sensors could do, record the data, and bring home. Or even a drone. Sending a specialized cartographer just seems like a waste of time.

Maybe somebody more versed in art than I am will look at that bracelet and see a level of artistry that I'm not. But to me it looks like something the props department banged out of sculpy and spray painted gold in an hour or two.

Yeah, I'd be spooked too, Quark. How the hell does he eat with his nose running across the middle of his mouth?

Quark really needs to learn to close his door when he's not open. Seems like there's an endless stream of people wondering in at the wrong time.

I appreciate someone who can walk straight up to Quark and tell him that he's here to kill him. That requires a certain amount of guts. And probably a reason why you know Quark won't go to the authorities.

If the threat is a fake out I'm going to be pissed.

“Until they sit in the chair?” But I thought that most of the time she was in some sort of anti-gravity doohickey. I took the chair to be a highly unusual thing. Which is why she had to specifically practice before coming here.

Ultimately, it's pretty clear that this is going to be a disability episode, just without any pesky people with actual disabilities. * sigh *

Okay, maybe her anti-gravity thing is another chair.

“I wasn't going to allow any... handicap....” * sigh *

“To be honest, I prefer to work alone.” I don't think you understand Starfleet, or any military organization, or any large organization at all.

Apology? No, this is Doctor Bashir. I assume he's here to mack on you.

Bashir you're being an asshole. Don't psychoanalyze people. At least, not if they don't ask.

By the Prophets, being an asshole Is actually going to get him a date.

He bit the coin to test it. Is this a Klingon Ren Faire?

That supposedly Klingon food looks suspiciously like a gummy worm.

Bashir thought he could make a career out of tennis? I'm not sure how you make a career out of playing a sport in the post-money Federation, but okay.

The ensign snuck out early and stole a runabout, didn't she? That sort of shit should get her drummed out of Starfleet.

Your first instinct was not to ask computer where she was, but to break into her quarters?

I feel a little bad for thinking this, but she is totally flopping in the ground like Magikarp.

I'm with you, the raised lip at every door is a terrible architectural feature.

I'm genuinely surprised I misguessed.

Come to think of it, did she end up in this position because everybody else was trying to get rid of her?

Are we going to get some actual low gravity special effects?

That's not low gravity. That is literally zero gravity.

For early 90s television special effects, these are quite good. They've aged quite well. I'm not getting the sense that you often get in the zero-gravity scenes that the actors are standing on something, or hanging from a wire, and they've just hidden the floor or the wires. It’s not perfect, but it’s really, really good.

Okay, I guess it is low gravity. There is a tiny, tiny amount of gravity. Way less than Earth's moon. Did she live on a planet the size of the Little Prince’s planet?

Was that her way of macking on the doctor? Okay, based on the kiss, yes.

Clearly she needs a badass exoskeleton of some sort. I kind of assumed that the weird metal contraption she's wearing was, but it doesn't seem to provide any strength magnification.

You're asking if Dax thinks there's room for romance in Starfleet? Curzon apparently slept with everyone.

Oh, that's cruel. Funny, but cruel.

The charitable view is that doctor Bashir is offering to give the ensign superpowers. I'll admit, if someone offered me super strength, and it was free, I'd take it. The less charitable view, is that we're doing a disability episode, and the solution is apparently to “fix” the person.

How does increasing the output from the brain, to the extent that that's even a sensible thing to say, make someone stronger? That's not how that works.

Bashir, she already could walk. Just not here.

Apparently DS9 does not have an open beverage container law.

The technobabble in this episode is bugging me. There's some sort of magic reason why adjusting her brain will make her instantly stronger. And some other magic reason why, when the treatment is complete, she can never go back to low-gravity environment. You know, despite the fact that humans are capable of doing so.

Of course Dax is familiar with Earth fairy tales. Some point I'd like an alien to make a literary reference that they have to explain because no human understands it.

it's very important to mention that Hans Christian Andersen wrote it; this will be of great importance to the alien.

Yes, let's make a reference to story in which the heroine not only doesn't get anything she wants, but she dissolves.

Wait, security opened fire first, and I'm dubious they even saw the gun that Quark’s friend had.

“And I'm glad you got me to unlock the doors to my quarters.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[fooboo24]

info about my (current) ryders under the cut, basically just for my own reference

format comes from the ryder tag going around before the game came out (i was never tagged but still using it lmao)

Name: Rue Ryder

Gender: cis female

Ethnicity: Egyptian-Mexican (via her mother), Portuguese-Canadian (via father)

Eye Color: deep brown

Hair Color/Description: Naturally, her hair is a dark brown and straight. However, back in the milky way, she frequently balayaged her hair blonde and got some kind of hair treatment to make it wavy/curly.

Skin (Color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): MOLES ALL OVER. Dark-skinned, a few scars, only one major, noticeable one that stretches from her left ear, under and across her jaw, finishing at her chin.

Misc physical attributes: Short (5′2″), Buff(tm)

Preferred romance option: Reyes, but maaaaaybe Jaal?

Relationship with Alec & Sibling (Do they get along? ect.): She loves her family a lot, even if they don’t always get along. Her father was always hard on her and her brother to succeed and be the best of the best, and while she resented him in her earlier years for it, she inwardly forgave him a lot when she realized he just wanted the best for them.

Her brother and her are besties. She plays the “I’m the older one” card a lot on him, and they have the typical sibling love-hate relationship, but ultimately they love each other and will always be there for each other, if only because they know that in some ways, they’re all the other has.

Projected BFF (The squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take): Drack or Peebee.

Dreams/Hobbies/Likes: To just explore Andromeda freely with her friends, without Pathfinder responsibilities lording over her. She just wants to chill and do her thing in space, basically.

She likes to work out a lot, draw, absentmindedly study, collect atrocious yet oddly perfect accessories, and socializing. Never not down for movie night or spending time with people, especially if she has work-related things she can put off.

She loves clothing and accessories (ranging from haute couture to tacky af), learning languages and pondering over Mysterious Shit, and blueberries.

Fears/Dislikes: Dying, finality, losing someone important, infinite space (she is fascinated by space, but is also scared of it?)

Squishy textures (they gross her out), bugs of literally any variety (she’s kind of ‘blech’ about them), oranges (rue: smells good, ain’t gonna eat it tho)

Other (What else should we know about your Ryder):

She’s a linguist/anthropologist with a linguistic specialization. She has ADHD and actively takes medication for it. Bisexual/Pansexual and openly flirty, but has a difficult time with the ~deeper~ aspects of a romantic relationship. Doesn’t like being told what to do or how to do something (by a teacher/expert it’s fine, by a know-it-all, no), and becomes resistant and reluctant if forced to do something. Had to significantly downsize her personal Tacky Sunglasses collection and book collection upon coming to Andromeda, legitimately distraught upon doing so. Likes to sing, but she can’t do it well (her brother, alternately, can, but hates singing, easily embarrassed). Very confident, probably dangerously so.

---

Name: Caroline Ryder

Gender: cis female

Ethnicity: Korean (via mother), French-Japanese (via father)

Eye Color: dark brown (black at typical glance)

Hair Color/Description: Full, thick, long, glossy, and black. Doesn’t wear hair down often (kind of shy about if for some reason), but won’t cut it off because she enjoys messing with it with different styles. Usually wears her hair back in a braided bun.

Skin (Color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): Several moles. Pale-skinned

Misc physical attributes: Tall (5′11″), slim of body, monolid eyes, thick brows

Preferred romance option: In my headcanon-verse, she gets together with Cora. Actually in game, probably Peebee or Suvi (I feel like Peebee would lighten her up, but Suvi would suit her better overall so???).

Relationship with Alec & Sibling (Do they get along? ect.): Her father was not often around when Caroline and her brother (and, once again in my headcanon-verse, their younger sister, June), were growing up, so her initial perceptions of him were distant, but she thought him a strong and important figure in the scope of things due to the urgency of his job and the gravity of the tasks he was given. When she was older and her father was around more, there was an attempt to become closer facilitated by her mother and herself, but it never caught on and Caroline learned just what kind of a man her father was - gruff, distant, and largely emotionally reluctant. After one too many times being ignored, she gave up and grew to distrust and dislike her father, but there was still a cold, impersonal respect of his position and skills there. Her father’s best relationship with any of his children was with June, whom he seemed to be more open, warm, and supportive with, leading Caroline, much to her dismay, to become somewhat jealous of her younger sister.

She had a closer relationship with her mother, whom was the parent most often seen by her and her siblings. She wanted to be a scientist when she grew up due to her closeness with her mother, and in due time when to school to study genetics. Her mother’s death caused her great grief.

Her relationship with her brother was originally poor due to the fact that they were often pitted against each other in terms of success by their father and others around them. They were usually compared and contrasted when it came to most aspects of themselves, and as such they competed harshly and a competitiveness far beyond simple rivalry formed. While both were brilliant students, her brother usually “beat” her in terms of grades by only the slightest margins. Caroline, in an effort to differentiate herself from her brother and achieve great feats for recognition elsewhere, took to becoming a martial and weapons expert, a field she excelled in whereas her brother did not. Caroline did not gloat, but took great pride in this accomplishment of hers. Her relationship with her brother still is not stellar when they set out for Andromeda, but it improves slowly after he stabilizes.

(jesus i just blabbered a lot there, didn’t i....)

Projected BFF (The squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take):

Jaal probably. He’s respectful and polite and considerate, so I think she’d appreciate him a lot.

Dreams/Hobbies/Likes:

Caroline wants her efforts and accomplishments to be acknowledged, respected, and remembered. She is fully dedicated to the Andromeda Initiative, and wants to see it succeed and thrive. She wants to do as much as she can to achieve this.

She’s pretty lonesome in her hobbies. She doesn’t like to go out of her way to socialize, and prefers to be alone. She likes to work on guns and weapons, personalizing and enhancing them in damage output and aesthetic. She also enjoys researching with Lexi (primarily Kett and Angara genetics) and writing and reading papers in her spare time. Occasionally, she gardens and plants, but feels mildly guilty in doing so because she thinks the activity indulgent and non-beneficial to others as a whole.

She likes all variety of meats and does not drink.

Fears/Dislikes: Failure, becoming like her father, becoming close to others, forgetting her mother.

Underperforming, excessive attention, the colour green, and sugary foods.

Other (What else should we know about your Ryder):

Lesbian. The most like her father out of all her siblings, something she refuses to realize/acknowledge. Not very social, emotionally distant and lonely, incredibly intelligent, a deadly shot, comes off as cold, actually just awkward in many a social situation. Probably depressed, to a degree. Not artistically inclined at all. Secretly names her personalized guns. Spends probably way too much time working on them. Enjoys fighting and weapon work more than she’s willing to admit, more so than her scientific work, and feels guilty in this, like she’s letting her mother’s memory down.

---

DAMN THAT TOOK A WHILE OKAYYYY THAT’S ITTT

might change some stuff about them later/expand on some things but this works for now~!!

[flarebossmalva]

just for future reference and in case anyone was curious i’m going to explain what the hell i was on about re: some stuff in my writing tag

skipping things that are obvious or self-explanatory but if you’re puzzled by something i wrote and i didn’t explain it here then feel free to ask i guess

disgust - i thought of vomit immediately and then wrote about the last experience i had with a friend who was sick. i don’t actually remember which friend this was anymore. “you’re never going to die ever again” i’m not sure about but i think this may have been referring to how awful stomach sicknesses are and how they can literally be so bad they make you feel like you’re dying? that’s a guess

aether - thought of “ether” instead which is very volatile so that’s how i got onto the theme about exploding. i think the rest was just vague associations

pincushion - human pincushion. i guess someone who has bled out completely

aura - you know how they talk about people having colored auras? i just picked a color and went from there. don’t know what “i can taste it under my fingernails” means even remotely but if this is from when i worked in produce/floral i constantly had plant matter under my fingernails so maybe that. am reading “you look lovely, by the way. very fresh.” in GLaDOS’ voice for some reason and not sure if that was what i had in mind when i wrote it

mint leaves - catnip is in the mint family and some people says humans can get a mild high off smoking it

indie - this was about seeing mother mother live. the “he” is ryan

wind - probably masturbation but trying to explain the trip from point a to point b that i made here would get really complicated if i’m even recalling it correctly

lamp oil - amnesia: the dark descent. lamp oil is a resource in that game. player character hallucinates bugs and grinds his teeth when he spends too long in the dark

bombs - boss fight wheatley. the track that plays during that battle is called “bombs for throwing at you”

cucumber - i was thinking of items you could buy together at a supermarket that would disturb the cashier. a single cucumber, rope, and a paperback romance novel sends some interesting implications i think

columbia - no idea but one of my friends told me this is essentially the plot of bioshock infinite

kevin james - one of those paul blart mall cop memes involved the phrase “distant egg song!” and that’s what i was going off of

marigold - flowey

25-27 - since this looked like it was referring to three sequential questions on an askmeme i acted as though that’s what i was answering here. i don’t know why i chose the colors blue and orange; portals from the portal games are those colors but what with the other two responses in this post being undertale related i’m thinking maybe blue = sans and orange = papyrus

🙌 - reference to a (nsfw, i won’t link it) fanfic about sans smoking. i have a massive smoking kink so i think you can see why i’d find that emoji appropriate

syringe - this is a reference to a short story i wrote in high school. the association is that i think syringes were used to administer drugs to the protagonist

wine - almost positive there’s an audio log in the first bioshock game that’s a bit like this. even if there isn’t, there’s an area where a party has clearly gone down (lots of alcohol, splicers are dressed fancy) and that’s what it made me think of

glow - no idea

can of soda - i was thinking of a sprite can

amsterdam by imagine dragons - a song i don’t know; i used to be friends with this kid who was weirdly snobby about music and would condescend to me if i admitted to not knowing of a song or artist, so i wrote about that, kind of

apartments - “apartments are like cages” is a phrase that either i or someone else has used and i thought of that phrase and then i thought about cages and then i thought about johanna from sweeney todd and her one musical number

gold - this is about my paternal grandfather moving west as an adult. he didn’t move as part of the gold rush but that’s what i thought of first and then i thought about his moving to california so this was kind of a mix of the two concepts

sting - musical artist sting has got an album called brand new day and this was written thinking about the album art

lunar theatre - i’ve explained this one before but i wrote this while really sick around the time i first got diagnosed with lyme disease. i was sleeping most of the time and tired whenever i was awake. at the time i was also taking ativan (among other medications) and it made me very sleepy and out of it. the title comes from an art installation i saw once which basically looked like an artificial shoreline, which is where the ocean/water imagery comes from

tessellation - obvious maybe but repetition is part of the definition of the word

roses - james from team rocket, often carrying a rose

paris - this was a joke about egg hatching in pokemon x/y (the most efficient way to do it is to bike in circles repeatedly around the game’s version of the eiffel tower)

n - i feel like this is obvious too but it’s a joke about n harmonia from the 5th gen pokemon games

nature - i’m not sure how i got to talking about gelatin molds but have you seen some of the ones from the fifties and sixties? truly horrifying

berry - early on in x/y you’re put in charge of a berry field and then later you become champion (the league is at the top of a mountain). there are curtains in the champion’s room. idk i just thought about becoming champ and then abandoning the berry field since that’s basically what i did in-game

dogs - pretty literal, this is just my experience with pet dogs

q - this is a reference to a song from goddamn sesame street

teacup - malva has a butler, who presumably serves her tea sometimes. he battles you on her behalf once and his team is pretty powerful, but of course she’s elite four and would have him beat

guitar - at the time there were a lot of “wonderwall” memes that’s what i thought of

pine - pine trees, christmas trees, their lives are cut short but they get to dress up fancy for a few weeks, i don’t know

touch-me-not - fanfic i plotted out once but never actually finished writing. in it, bryony and celosia are using one of those remote-control vibrators (celosia was the one wearing it, and bryony had the remote, iirc) but if you remember team flare also used a remote to control the ultimate weapon and i loved the idea of getting the two remotes mixed up. all the higher-ups (save bryony and celosia, of course) are playing with the remote thinking it’s broken and trying to get it to work. meanwhile poor celosia is dying and the only one who notices is malva, who is the “she” in this piece, who deliberately starts messing with the remote to get a reaction out of bry + cel. i don’t remember how this fanfic was going to end but i think probably celosia would excuse herself to go to the bathroom (to, ahem, take care of herself) and malva would follow her in and then idk they’d fuck. listen i’ve had worse ideas

nightshade - i’m not sure how i got from the prompt to my fill but the fill is definitely about another fic i was working on involving a trainer who experiments on eevee trying to discover new eeveelutions

knives - my abuser had a “suicide attempt” (not really, he didn’t do anything except think about it, but that’s how he classed it iirc) where he planned on using a knife. also he wrote (bad) poetry once comparing me to a knife because idk i was mean for not wanting to fuck him probably

cake - it’s 2007 bro. memes bro. this was about portal bro

gameboy - self-explanatory i think but this was specifically a goof on ben drowned even though a lot of video game creepypasta start out this way

ruby - as in the pokemon game. this was about being a team magma grunt

cicada - i think this one is straightforward but in case it’s not, in my area you find dead cicadas all over the place in june

notebook - this was about harriet the spy

tree - based off of something that happened with me and my best friend when i was eleven or twelve

big ben - well, english clock towers... there’s a scene in a christmas carol where scrooge wakes up and hears the clock strike an hour it’s already struck and gets freaked and worries about the spirits coming to haunt him

cookie - i got a baby doll for christmas when i was a little kid and gave it to my younger sister bc she liked baby dolls and i didn’t. she named that doll cookie. this was general feels about being the Bad Child who Wasn’t Feminine

paint - straightforward again but this is about my parents’ house, the one we moved into when i was a young teen and where they still live with my little sister (and, currently, me). it was initially painted white and we repainted yellow a few years ago (i think after i had moved out to go to college). also that house still doesn’t feel like home to me in the same way our old house did

boots - god this is gonna take a lot of explaining but in the underland chronicles, second book, gregor (protagonist) is separated from his baby sister (nicknamed boots) after, iirc, the boat they’re in capsizes and they get washed into the nearby catacombs by the waves. he assumes she’s drowned since she’s a toddler and can’t swim. it’s basically his blue screen of death moment and he spends the next part of the book feeling totally dead inside, like a machine, no emotion no empathy. this scene fucked me up bad when i first read it aged about nine

freckles - i think this is obvious but just in case, this is about me (formerly) hating my freckles

egg - aforementioned fic about eevee experimentation was maybe going to involve unethical forced hatching of eevee eggs by cracking them open before they’re ready. i was basically thinking of every sick thing you could do to a pokemon to try and force an evolution

fairy - same fic. the protagonist has a shiny eevee that she gives special treatment and thinks is going to evolve into something special bc no evolution method she’s tried has worked on it. it was to be revealed later that her “special” eevee had actually just swallowed an everstone, and, immediately upon operating to remove said everstone, eevee evolved into sylveon

orange - as a small child i was allergic to oranges. the only memory i have of having an allergic reaction was breaking out in hives and going down our creaky old staircase, which felt big and intimidating to me as a little kid, to tell my parents about it

yuri - i thought of a favorite f/f pairing of mine, bryony/celosia, and in particular the scene that got me to ship it. in that scene, you battle celosia (who acts very woe-is-me upon being defeated) and bryony immediately springs to her (girl)friend’s defense

mitochondria - i learned the word from the sequel to a wrinkle in time, in which charles wallace gets really sick with some sort of mitochondrial disease and his older sister meg tries to save him by like astral projecting inside his mitochondria or something. god that book was weird

a gigantic rubber duck - when she was a baby someone gave my sister a gigantic rubber duck (which she adored, i think we still have it somewhere) and so this was about how i felt about having a new sibling

electricity - eevee fic again. rival character in the fic was an electric-type trainer. this was about the convention of trainers locking eyes and then battling

feverish - fevers as sex metaphor somehow??? i guess because fevers, like sex, often leave you sweaty. eleven was when i had my first wet dream and eighteen was when i listened to that “naegi with a fever” audio and got real gay

anger - metaphor again. i really did make a glass paperweight one time, on a class trip to a glass museum. my abuser and i were off-again with our friendship at the beginning of that trip and on-again by the end of it but there was still, i think, unresolved anger on both sides. that’s the association. i don’t know how to explain what i was thinking here beyond that

mosquitos - “petty annoyances” is just what i think of mosquitos and then i guess i just went from there. “bigger than i am but you know when to kneel” might have been my abuser again. he was, indeed, bigger than me but he got down on his knees begging me to be his friend again right at the end of things between us lol. honestly it was the most compelling thing he ever did

laundry basket - i thought about dirty laundry and then about worrying my clothes smelled dirty or that i smelled dirty and like, obsessively bathing because someone wanted to come over and have sex with me and i was just barely not a virgin at that point and had no idea what i was doing and was freaked out over the whole thing

cow - i took a year of spanish and for some reason the only thing i actually learned was how to say “where is the cow” and “the cow is here” which are not actually useful phrases in most contexts