#it is always worth it. ALWAYS
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
so. wembley.
Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this
No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.
It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!
I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).
And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3
When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-
I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.
But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.
I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.
Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-
The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.
The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.
Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.
I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)
Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.
Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3
Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.
All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.
I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3
There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill
Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy
Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤
To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.
And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!
#it was surprisingly hard to write#took a lot of editing and rewriting whole paragraphs and it's still not a proper description of everything i wanted to say#i don't know how to talk about emotions#and i have. a lot of them since wembley#a word of advice: attend concerts. beg for money for them from your family members sleep in tents during rain#or in hostel rooms filled with random people#go for gigs without a place to sleep and spend 4hrs waiting for your bus home in a local mcdonalds#watching drunk guys split their eyebrows on the stairs there#(not now tho now we're boycotting macdonalds#but there are other places open 24/7)#go to gigs alone#but by god. go to them if you are able to and if your health allows you to go#(and yes it is coming from someone with anxiety. i wouldn't travel or sleep in a tent alone for anything else trust me)#it is always worth it. ALWAYS#sleep token
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess
#Crunchyroll#piracy#funimation#money hungry ass streaming service#rambling#I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god#I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭!#get back to pirating kings!!!#anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this#CR is definitely not worth paying for though#CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it��s a yearly one time fee#capitalism#the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway#it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything
87K notes
·
View notes
Text
god i wish i wouldn't have to explain the intricacies of the neopets economy to you guys to give the full context for this but. the new neopets team that took over from jumpstart pledged that they were going to curb the inflation of rare items, which is great because a lot of rare items are worth literally hundreds of millions of neopoints, they are unbuyable unless you've been playing actively for 20 years. they did this earlier with a site festival that included random loot boxes, some of which had Unbelievably Fucking Rare And Precious items worth 200 million neopoints apiece.
well.
today they have gone a step further. by releasing this year's trick-or-treat bags. and having the trick-or-treat bags be stuffed to the brim with unbelievably fucking rare stamps, weapons, paint brushes, defense magic, and other unbuyables. (all prohibitively expensive and in-high-demand types of items.)
jellyneo, the premier neopets website, has recorded prices of some items plummeting from 2,000,000 neopoints to 4,000 neopoints IN THE LAST THREE HOURS. this is when most people haven't even heard about the event or OPENED THEIR BAGS YET.
and of course. cherry on top. 20-year-old account holders are crytyping on the site events neoboard about how mean and cruel it is to make rare stamps part of the prize pool, because their entire identity hinges on being part of the neopian bourgeoisie, and they are having MELTDOWNS over their assets being devalued until they're part of the lowly proletariat.
this is a children's game for children btw.
none of the money is real.
i'm having such a good time.
#i paused in opening my bags to write this bc the site's getting so much traffic that it's taking 3 minutes to refresh one page#i've pulled a paint brush a stamp that used to be worth 2 mil (it's not now) and another stamp that's always been cheap.#i have 4 more bags to open still.#i Love It Here.#neopets
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
severely unwell. thanks mr hozier
#unreal unearth#hozier#this album feels very personal very intimate i feel rude and invasive for listening#but i will continue to#worth the wait as always you big soulful bastard
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
恵 ; "blessing"
12/22: consider this piece my love letter to a character who has become so near and dear to me and who has inspired so much of my artistic growth this past year <3 happy birthday megumi, your name becomes you ⊹ ࣪ ˖
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#when i tell u i worked on this piece for 7 days for 12hrs/day i am not exaggerating#i wanted to pull out all the stops i wanted this to be a full showcase of my skills#i was worried abt the angle bc birdseye/lookdown angles r always tricky and looking at it a month later i think i wld change some stuff but#overall i'm just so satisfied the background the flowers the colours#which btw the flowers KILLED me the rosary KILLED me his entire hand and sleeve area had me like why did i do this#but it was worth it it's all for him everything is for him id do ANYTHINg fr him do u understand me do. do you. do u understaND#if all i can offer him in tribute is art then u best bet i'm not gna cut corners#if that means hand rendering each individual turquoise vein and jade bead and paper fold then that's what i'll do#hbd again megumi u truly have become my muse <3
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy halloween! 🏴☠️
#one piece#THANK U SO MUCH for participating in my halloween comic this year#i knew adding it to my schedule would make me crazy busy but i always feel like it's worth it in the end#looking forward to reading everybody's comments 2morrow
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
wind breaker / the sun and his moon
#artists on tumblr#fanart#mint archives ; art#wind breaker#wind breaker fanart#togame jo#choji tomiyama#shishitoren#orange palettes often intimidate me but the end results are always so worth it#thank u shishitoren yellow orange palettes for pulling thru#togame and choji are one of my wbk roman empries their dynamic is just so sweet and pretty!!!!#like the mutual protectiveness and healing and moving on and growing??? Oh to heal together????#to find answers together and resolve issues and grow together through it????
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
the level of racism wyll ravengard has to experience in the average comments section of r/baldursgate3 is giving antebellum south
"i just think he's boring!!!" he was rewritten because people originally thought he was too "edgy" and "mean"
"he has no flaws! he's written like he's flawless!!!" the man will sell his soul to save his emotionally neglectful father what are you talking about, his nonexistent self-worth is his greatest flaw and he literally can SELL HIS SOUL and become DAMNED FOR ALL ETERNITY by his desire to fulfill his healing fantasy of being able to get his dad to love him through heroic sacrifice. and you think he doesnt have a FLAW???? just because he internalizes his pain instead of externalizing it????
also people claiming he's "too nice" when they don't have the same criticism of karlach or gale, two characters who are ALSO very nice and polite lmfao
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#wyll ravengard#wyll is a character that speaks to my experience as the always neglected and demonized child of dysfunctional immature parents#anyone who thinks wyll has no flaws can come borrow my low sense of self-worth#you'll find yourself doing insane shit like baking bread for people who wouldnt even visit you in the hospital if you got sick#like me!!!!!!!!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Wanna give a quick shoutout to the federal judge last week who struck down the Arkansas law that tried to outlaw gender-affirming care for minors, not only ruling it unconstitutional, but including 311 statements of fact all going against the gender-affirming care ban in a ruling that was 80 pages long. Especially since these statements make it harder for transphobes to appeal and iirc this is considered precedent.
#us politics#the us sucks for a lot of reasons but its always worth celebrating when we stand up against this shit#if i got any details wrong in this or if theres any additional information that should be included here let me know
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
second half of the big character cards job i've been working at 🫡
patreon
#my art#client work#commissions#i like how these turned out so much im tempted to offer them as a comm type#but theyd have to be kind of pricy so make them worth the time/effort for me compared to the headshots i usually do...#which is always an obstacle for me lol
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [PART 6] [Part 7] [Don’t Let it Reach the Heart]
[This comic is part of my dbhc au, following the chaos and panic that ensues after Doc and Xisuma try to get Etho back online at the start of s9 after a very rough s8 finale that leaves him a little. broken. It's set to the vibes of Joywave's Destruction!]
#dbhc#dbhc art#destruction#dbhc doc#docm77#dbhc etho#ethoslab#dbhc xisuma#xisuma#dbhc bdubs#bdubs#bdoubleO100#art escapades#last life smp#llsmp#hermitcraft#hermitcraft au#tw gore#tw violence#tw blood#tw glitching#tw eyestrain#tw death#tw limb loss#tw robot gore#tw techno gore#tw head trauma#trying to be really safe with this one bc it gets really. yeah. its a lot#might be worth noting that destruction was Always going to be about more than just etho.#Also thank you everyone so much for your patience for the past few months I appreciate it so so much!!
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Trying to date butch lesbians in the southern United States is a trip. For those that aren't aware, butch lesbians in the South and the overly religious women who absolutely hate butch lesbians in the South, dress the exact same. So there's always this gamble of, she's either the one or she's going to try and baptize me. I guess your still getting wet either way, but still.
#lesbian pride#lesbian#lgbtq#queer#trans#queer humor#trans humor#196#pride#lgbtqia#queer memes#trans memes#It's always worth the gamble
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate ghosting but sometimes there’s really nothing to say just bye
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
heart-wrenching & beautiful excerpts from the article on esteban ocon
#kind of a long post but there was a lot that was worth sharing#definitely still worth reading the article though!! there's lots more interesting stuff#this is why esteban will always stay my favourite driver#ive never heard of a bad interaction with him#i also think remembering the hate he got as a child is relevant to the hate he sometimes gets today#ive seen some really disgusting stuff that he (and nobody) would deserve#anyway ramble over i just love him <33#f1#formula 1#formula one#polite cat posts#esteban ocon#eo31
966 notes
·
View notes