#it is always so wild to me that people can perceive me on Tumblr specifically.. like wow... I am not just yelling into the void HAHA

[cha1cedony]

Hi I think you’re very cool and your fanfics are amazing! Anyways this song reminds me of Grant

https://open.spotify.com/track/58SvbpXjfZdKeRzxoBMR72?si=UdwLSgYYTJinLB7tAUk1tg

OMG this is so sweet??? :'D Thank you so much! I waited for a lil bit to answer this until I got the chance to listen to this song, and omg it's so lovely... tysm for sharing it!

(Btw, for anyone reading this who's not anon, here is the song!)

[butch-reidentified]

One of my best friends is a gender critical, intensely radfem-aligned, mtf transsexual. I've talked about this friend several times before on here, but I think it's time I devote a stand-alone post. As with most of my posts, it will be long in signature JC fashion, but I think the topic warrants it: my friend is a wonderful person first and foremost, but is a truly fascinating and unique example of transsexuality as well.

First, a note: I've said this before, but for anyone new to my discussions of my gc mtf friend, she has never and would never expect or ask me to use she pronouns, but it's just how my brain perceives her despite rationally knowing she's male. I have no interest in forcing myself to use sex-accurate pronouns when it doesn't come naturally, because I don't believe it really matters in this context. It matters when it comes to things like news media reporting violent crime by transwomen as committed by women, but interpersonally or in a tumblr post, I don't feel a need to firmly stick to sex-accurate pronouns when my brain naturally goes to cross-sex ones for someone.

Here's a slightly amended quote from one of my early posts about her:

These are the same type of people who drove the transwomen I love from their own spaces by shaming them for having actual sex dysphoria and not "embracing the girl dick" or whatever. Literally what happened to my best friend, and she doesn't deserve that. She's so deeply passionate about women's liberation, believes firmly in female only spaces and sports, in honoring all of women's boundaries, in the definition of homosexuality, regularly argues with our other friends that eliminating all males would objectively result in a better world (with sources lol), calls herself a transwoman only - specifically as one word, for which she has a particular definition predicated on being male - not a woman, and most interestingly, comes across as very much female socialized. And not in a remotely intentional or performative way: it negatively impacts her the same way it does me or any actual woman I know. It's wild.

This is something I'd be interested in proper research on, because according to all her lifelong friends and neighbors, she's always been this way (and has been on an anti-porn crusade since the THIRD fuckin grade). She never internalized male socialization, like at all, and somehow seems to have internalized at least the majority of female socialization. Interacting with her feels exactly like interacting with any woman, no matter the context. I've known her for 6 years or so now and that's been consistently very true. I would NEVER have guessed she wasn't raised female. She completely "passes" but doesn't wear makeup or remove body hair, wears normal clothes like just pants and a shirt, etc. She seems like such a regular woman in every way, but she's not a woman (and she won't call herself one or demand you use she pronouns... I just do because nothing else feels right tbh). Several times, friends have straight up not believed she's transsexual at first.

When I talk about her seeming female-socialized in ways that are negatively impactful, I mean things like struggling to feel like you can say no, being prone to imposter syndrome, feeling like everyone else's needs come before your own, not feeling allowed to take up space, devoting endless emotional labor to those around you even when it's 3am on a work night before a crucial 9am meeting, giving of yourself well beyond what you should... those types of things (which are only a few examples of course) are her to a T, and are things she is working to unlearn for her own wellbeing alongside other women in our friend group.

She experiences sex dysphoria the same way I've described in myself - as a seemingly neurological, very physical sensation (in the same way pain or itchiness are physical sensations), somewhat akin to Phantom Limb. I've described her "social transition" before as "an incidental byproduct of medical transition," which I still think is accurate. She transitioned medically as a last resort measure to treat physical/neurological sex dysphoria, and ended up being perceived as female. It eventually just made logistical sense to assimilate socially. She couldn't care less how others perceive her "gender" or what pronouns they use or any of that, and shares the radfem view on the definition of gender and on gender ideology.

She's in the camp of "transactivism behaves like a cult and is explicitly a men's rights movement." I remember once a couple friends asked her why she was so passionate and outraged about female erasure and lesbian erasure, and she said very simply that "the trans cult has already erased, redefined, rewritten actual transsexual people," so she understands to a small degree the feeling of it, and sees them doing the same to women and homosexuals and can't tolerate it.

Her childhood friends (nearly all female) have said they have pretty much always innately interacted with her like they would with a female friend, and never understood why. I've never had to explain anything about the female experience to her, nor known of anyone else doing so. More often, my other friends and I find ourselves explaining to her that other males absolutely don't know the things she does (regarding both the biological and social aspects) or have the awareness she does, all these things she observed as a little kid, many of which upset her deeply on behalf of her female peers.

She did go through CSA, domestic violence, a trafficking attempt, and other major traumas throughout her childhood and into young adulthood, but the people who've known her her entire life say she was already the way she is in terms of all this stuff before that.

The adults she talks about looking up to as a kid, the ones she latched onto as mentors and who shaped her, are all badass, gnc, and/or feminist women. Her number one role model as a kid was her female karate instructor who had won major competitions all over the country and was very gnc both physically and personality-wise. The memories involving these mentors that she talks about most and remembers most vividly are almost all regarding misogyny and the injustices and cruelty women and girls face.

One other interesting fact is that she's XXY and had gynecomastia and slightly more feminine than normal features such as fat distribution before transition, and her body feminized more from HRT (she only had genital surgery due to extreme intractable dysphoria; she is opposed to any other surgeries like FFS or BA since they're entirely cosmetic to her) than any transwoman I've ever met or even seen pictures of. Most TW I've known barely fit a training bra - she's a D cup. It's so odd to me that she has the seemingly-neurological sex dysphoria AND the weird femsoc thing AND her body responded much more dramatically to estradiol than any other transwoman. I'm at a loss. It drives my little scientist brain crazy.

I have my theories, but ultimately I really don't know how to explain her. I've known a whole lot of trans people, and a whole lot of transwomen in particular, and while I have certainly met a few that don't come across like Gamestop Maam/average AGP vibes, they typically seem more like gay men rather than female-socialized. Even with those who do show some femsoc-like traits, it's not remotely to the degree I see in my friend, and oftentimes it's something they clearly trained themselves into to blend in.

I know there are other gender critical transsexuals out there, but idk if there is anyone else like her. I want to know, tbh, I am really super curious about it and about how/why she is the way she is (as is she lol).

I wanted to share this more concisely since I've mentioned her in multiple reblogs and posts and answers to asks over the years, but haven't really made a post specifically about her. Feel free to ask questions! She's given me full permission to discuss her experiences and whatnot here.

[saraa-lancee]

Bro just respond or tag me next time 🫣 how embarrassing. The fact that you cannot comprehend there might be some nuance to this situation and immediately took my comments in extreme bath faith... but I guess this is Tumblr. I said something and you literally put whole ass sentiments in my mouth I never said while completely missing the point of what the tag was saying.

I'm not saying dude hasn't done questionable things/is perfect but calling him a "pet incel" when one of like. *the* biggest talking points for incels is violence-- rape, sexual ensalvement, and murder of women. Incels actively *degrade* women as fuck holes (sometimes you can even get them to admit women might be "useful incubators"!!) and toys. 30 minutes in their website and you (should) feel ill with their rhetoric of deep hatred and fantasy for violence against women. We're talking so far as fucking necrophilia. It is bad. It is fucking vile.-- someone who is weird is absolutely not a fucking incel you walnuthead. Tossing around the label of such a dangerous ideology is *bad*. I'm sorry you don't agree, but it's an important distinction, especially to people who are perceived as Dangerous just because they're Wierd.

Creep? Sure whatever. "Pet" and "incel"? Yeah, not quite.

Was he normal? No. Was that situation okay? absolutely not. He crossed a boundary. Can I tell you something you might not like? Autistic aren't UWU perfect babies. Many, MANY autistics (based on personal experience, many times men) will do that exact thing 💀 like. This Boundary thing is a pretty well known Issue for autistic people. (I think it might be in the diagnostic criteria, but either way-- its an incredibly common discussion). It would take you five seconds (or maybe a conversation with three people irl) to find a few anecdotes about grown autistic adults lacking the understanding of boundaries to the point where they will grab people, leave notes in people's work lockers, veritable shrines to crushes or obessions etc. Autism doesn't *cause* this, and this type of thing happens in a multitude of other mental disabilities and disorders, so maybe "autistic coded" wasn't the perfect word, but as an autistic person, I've always felt for the guy being shunned and made fun of by everyone. Autism *could* cause his inability to understand boundaries and complex human relationships, which is why I say it that way. And unless I am forgetting something, never once in that episode does he talk about a plot to rape his coworkers, or hurt them. *that* is what in incel is. People who cross those boundaries as an autistic (typically) are not acting with the intent to harm or any ill will. Calling anyone an Incel is assuming some of the most extreme ill will that it is possible to conceive.

these wierd things don't make him an incel. Incel is a specific ideology geared towards explicit violence towards women. The fact that you don't know the difference tells me you may have some more reading to do-- learn the things Incels actually think before tossing that word around.

He does weird things. But he is definitely outcast for them (and constantly treated like shit, including by Fandom) for literally so much as his *demeanor*. This feels like one of those attacks, OP. Lol pet incel-- aka guy who gives me a weird vibe appears in this episode and plays a role 💀 he (hypothetically, of course) exists as a whole ass person. He is, to an extent, a main character. I'm sorry a Character Arrived.

Sorry I didn't write a motherfucking dissertation in my tags but actually insisting a character who everyone earmarks as "Do Not Touch-- Wierdo" is an incel (and that Gene Roddenberry and other writers and showrunners would *ever* espouse that ideology) is wild. Again-- incel is an ideology with extreme violence (both sexual and not) at its core.

Barclay, like probably every other Star Trek Character in existence, is a commentary and representation-- I'm sorry that that thought was too difficult for you. It's easier to label wierd people as Incels rather than use some critical thought (including about the situation/episode you mention. There are a few great analysis blogs about that-- its quite interesting. I might suggest googling a few, but again, cant make you do anything) about the things they do and what the narrative is trying to show.

I hate to break it to you, but mental illness and disability is rarely comfortable and easy. People with various disabilities (like Autism) or illnesses *will* do things you do not like. This does not make them evil, woman haters with a secret desire to rape and murder people. Assuming the worst is definitely a choice you can make, but I've been in this fandom for 10+ years and I'm fucking sick and tired of the ostracization of characters like Barclay. We could have a real conversation about the character or you could call him an incel and respond like *that* when I suggest there might be some nuance. 🤷 whichever man. As an autistic person, I won't respond to you being nasty after this.

star trek writers are always trying to fit their pet incel into the story why's barclay the bus driver all of a sudden

[black-mesa-slut-voice]

THE ERRANTEL

[ More info below the cut! ]

Due to popular demand, I finally made a ref sheet for the species my Swap Benrey’s belongs to- the Errantel. 

Their name, originally, had no human translation, since they are not from Earth. Benrey himself describes it as loosely translating to “Unkillable hobo”, though Tommy thought it was too long, and seemed... rude, almost. So, with the help of his friend Forzen, they came up with the term Errantel; a combination of the words for “immortal wanderer” in french. 

Biologically, Errentel are very interesting species, as they’ve earned their reputation for being “unkillable”. They’re essentially the equivalent of giant, interdimensional tardigrades. They can withstand nearly all conditions- the vacuum of space, temperatures hot enough to usually make things combust, and temperatures nearing true zero. This grants them safety when they manage to worm their way through dimensions and travel to different planets that might be otherwise inhabitable. 

Not only that, but they are also proficient at rudimentary “shapeshifting”- they can compress and expand the mass of their form, ranging from very very small to extremely large; rivaling skyscrapers. Their average size is normally a healthy in between- the size of a two-story house (the size that Benrey took during the final battle). 

They can also shift the amount of limbs, mouths, eyes, and other features they possess, with some restrictions mentioned above. This allows Benrey to take an arguably very humanlike form to better fit in with his coworkers.  Their diet is extremely varied. Their near unkillable state and rapid healing is because of their physiology. In short- their body is made of completely different things than ours, so they need a wide range of nutrients and minerals to stay healthy and unkillable. This is what causes the most competition amongst them- sometimes even eating other Errantels for the specific nutrients in their bodies. 

Socially, they’re sapient; generally human-level intelligence, sometimes slightly above (mostly due to their outstanding lifespans). How they are seen, however, varies wildly between dimensions, planets, species and societies. In some places, they’re considered normal people. They could, arguably, wander into a space McDonald’s and get a job, and be treated as a normal person. In other places, they’re considered wild beasts, to be avoided or even hunted for sport. 

Amongst their own species, they’re pretty extreme. Honestly, because of their extreme lifespans and nearly unkillable status, the only thing keeping their population in check is... well, their own species, and the fact that they’re so widespread. 

When an Errantel meets another (or honestly, any species they see as ‘equals’), they see them as competition. Rivals, in a sense. One of the few things that can truly threaten them. And so, their main goal is to remove that competition by any means necessary. This can go one of three ways:

Put enough distance between them that they don’t have to compete. This is pretty easily done, considering they can worm through dimensions and travel through the void of space to reach entirely new planets.

Kill each other. Errantels are, unfortunately, highly cannibalistic. The can and will eat other Errantels if they see them as threats, or even as weaker. Some of them will even eat their eggs and young in times of duress or if they simply don’t want to have any at the moment. 

Become partners. And I don’t put that lightly- Errantel ‘partnerships’ are almost complete codependency; putting their full trust, safety, heart and soul into each other. They’ll trust each other with their lives, share their food, young- and even other partners. It’s not unusual to have a group of 2-5 Errantels all in a polyamorous partnership. This eliminates the competition and threat of death through a much more friendly way.

So, a meeting between two Errantels usually starts as a long winded display at a distance, dancing around each other and judging whether or not they’re going to partner up, fight, or flee. There are no half-measures among them- you will almost never see two Errantel hanging out together for fun. Though, of course, in a social situation, most of them can behave long enough to share a space in a formal environment (think about having to go to a meeting with your ex. Sure, you don’t like it and there’s tension, but you put up with it for formalities). 

When communicating, Errantels use a communication system composed of a high-dense light, sound, and color they can expel from their mouth, which can help communicate emotions both visually and sensually (”Sweet voice”). My guide for Sweet Voice is the same one I use for the Errantels.  They’re very intelligent, however, and commonly learn other languages as well. 

When it comes to reproducing, Errantel can go two ways. They can reproduce both sexually and asexually! All Errantels have both bits, so any Errantell can reproduce with another. When done sexually, it’s pretty much only ever with those they’ve partnered with- there’s very little ‘infidelity’ amongst partnerships, or even one night stands for single Errantels. The children produced are just like humans in where they can have features of both parents, though other mutations are pretty common. 

When done asexually, it is something they can choose to do if they want a child but either don’t have any partners, or their partner can’t reproduce for some reason. Young produced this way are usually very similar to the parent- if not identical- but not always! Due to variations in DNA and self-alteration of sexual cells, as well as mutations, asexually produced young are usually slightly-off versions of the parent. Joshua, for example, was created this way- he’s almost identical to Benrey in every way except for a slightly different skin tone, and different colored eyes. 

Also, because they don’t differ at all between what’s in their pants and travel so many dimensions, Errantel have little care for gender or how they’re perceived. Most will go by whatever neutral pronouns a language has, or will simply use any pronoun- though of course, some do enjoy being gendered and are free to do so. 

Errantels also lay eggs. They’re usually in batches of 1-3; any larger and you risk the parents eating the extras to save resources. They’re usually the size of chicken eggs, and Errantel will often shift down smaller during this to hide away and go unnoticed. 

A freshly hatched Errantel simply looks like a very small adult- except for the fact that their ‘fur’ is white instead of black, and they’re usually much more covered in it. As they become juveniles, their white fur quickly starts molting away into the signature black color. 

Once their fur is molted into being fully black, they’re technically able to survive on their own. However, good parents often keep them around much longer than this, until they’ve reached full and true maturity. Once they’re old enough, they usually voluntarily leave to go find their own territories and partnerships!

 Errantels can continue to breed throughout their whole lifetimes, and so their territory will often be surrounded by the territories of their children- and so each child reared often has farther and farther to travel to reach an uninhabited space. This can be quite dangerous, but most make it. And thus,  the whole cycle starts again!

FAQ

So this is what your Benrey is? Sort of. Mainly just my Swap AU Benrey and Joshua- my other Benreys are all completely different, really.

What the fuck is your Swap AU? It’s my Roleswap AU for HLVRAI. Benrey is the scientist and Gordon is the guard, etc etc. You can find out more about it here, and this is the tag I have for it on my tumblr!

Can I make an OC of this species? Fuck yeah! Go nuts, dude! The only thing I ask of you is that 1) You give credit if anyone asks what they are, and 2) send them to me! I’d love to see them! 

If I do make an OC/Use this species, does it have to be HLVRAI? Nope. Because they travel dimensions, they can arguably appear in any media- if you want you can use them for anything. Original universes, other fandoms, other AUs of any sort, etc etc! Same rules apply as above- credit, and I’d like to see them!

Can they be albino/melanistic/piebald? I’m gonna say yes because it’s cool as hell. Love that shit.

My question isn’t answered here! Help??? I have an ask box and you are 100% welcome to use it! I’d love to talk more about these guys and anything I didn’t cover.

[monkberries]

So here goes: Personally I find Paul to be hot with a beard. But it annoys me because there’s always some Paul stan who’s like “he was super depressed during that time you know” anytime someone says how hot he looks with a beard. Like first of all, I don’t think we should go around diagnosing people and assuming how he felt 24/7 just based on a couple of quotes when we don’t know him, and second of all I was just saying he looks good. Also idk why Paul stans want to pretend like Paul is STILL a victim when he’s definitely not. He’s a super successful billionaire musician. He’s fine.

I'm going to assume all four of these were from the same anon; I received another along these same lines that seems to be from someone else:

OKAY. There's a lot here.

As I've said before, I think the concept you are both talking about - that Paul is the favourite, that people will attack you if you criticize him, that people are vilifying John more now - is true, but is also a matter of perspective. I think sometimes we perceive the whole fandom as just the people we're surrounded by; that can be true in smaller fandoms, like for obscure shows or whatever, but for the Beatles, the fandom is so much bigger and more spread out across generations, social media platforms, and works of literature than almost any other fandom. There are literally thousands upon thousands of books either about or tangentially about the Beatles; there are pockets on every platform from tumblr to twitter to podcasts to instagram to facebook etc., and it branches off even more niche within those to like, facebook groups specifically for podcasts about the Beatles, or discord servers, or livejournal threads, or music forums, or fics on ao3. There are fansites with thoughtful speculative articles like heydullblog and blogs specifically reviewing Beatle books like beatlebioreview and sites cataloging every bit of minutiae like the Beatles Bible, all with their own flavor of comment sections. And not only that, the Beatles fandom spans generations and cultures in a way that almost nothing else ever has or ever will.

And this is not even going into the shifting narratives that have been in play over the years surrounding Paul specifically, and the huge, huge difference between the perceptions of him by the authors and the Counterculture People, the perceptions of him by regular ass Wings fans who have only idly flipped through Rolling Stone while waiting in line at the local bodega, and the perceptions of him by everyone in between, who may or may not have been unconsciously influenced by the wider narratives about him.

All that is to make the case that the fandom that you are experiencing on tumblr/twitter is an extremely small fraction of The Fandom at large. For every Paul stan on twitter that yells at people for not believing that Paul literally invented music, there is a John stan in a facebook group going on about John's supposedly tireless peace efforts. For every nuanced, well sourced post on amoralto's blog, there is someone in the Beatles Bible comment section saying that John and Paul hated each other. For every fan who's read the major Beatles bios with a critical eye towards bias, there are plenty more fans who just absorbed them as straight fact. This is not to say that your experiences are not real or valid! They absolutely are! What I am saying is that there are infinite permutations of infinite Beatles fandoms out there, and the people you see who insist that Paul is still treated worse than John, I would imagine, are occupying various permutations of the fandom where that is more true, alongside the one they share with you. It's not for me to say whether the Paul or John people have the upper hand on the whole - truly, I don't think anyone has enough perspective on the whole fandom to make any judgment on that, no matter what general Grand Pronouncements anyone may make about The Fandom.

As I've said before, any overly defensive "stan" behavior, whether it's for John or Paul or George or anyone, is exhausting to me, so I definitely understand where you're coming from re: him being supposedly underrated. He is literally one of the most successful musicians of all time; as of the beginning of this year, he is worth 1.2 billion dollars; and, thanks to his own efforts and the efforts of quite a few fans and writers out there over the decades, he now enjoys an incredibly positive "granddude" reputation. There are ways in which it can be exasperating to read yet another indignant refutation of music reviews for RAM that came out fifty years ago, when his last three albums have hit the top 3 in the charts in both the US and the UK and have gotten great reviews. I have seen people wonder, honestly wonder, how much more money Paul could have made, how much more respected he could have been, if the rock press had been inclined to give RAM good reviews. When I see that, it does start to feel like fans of Paul, at least the defensive ones in the fandom permutations I occupy, are arguing with the author photo of Philip Norman in the book jacket for Shout!. It's not that I think those arguments and discussions are not worth having; I do think they're worth having because I believe that the only way we can continue to grow is if we grapple with the mistakes made in the past. But there is a strange kind of disconnect that happens when you read about someone indignantly defending Wild Life as though the members of Wings are currently, actively having eggs and rotten fruit thrown at them, and then you remember that Paul is currently, and has been for many years now, one of the richest men in the entire world.

As for the misogyny thing, I'll copy and paste a quote from Erin Weber which may explain a little better than I can:

"Where it starts entering into serious discussion for me is when you have professional grown men (Schaffner would be the most glaring example of this, but not the only one) repeatedly using the term “pretty” or “pretty-faced” to refer to another grown man. (Norman does the same). Schaffner doesn’t only do that once or twice, he uses one of those exact words at least fifteen times in his references to McCartney. “Pretty-boy” is also a term that at least one journalist has used to describe Paul, and that’s not a stealth insult: that’s an overt one. (My husband, who hates the Yankees, routinely used the term “pretty-boy” to insult Alex Rodriguez. And it wasn’t meant as a compliment).

My reaction to this is based both on studies that I’m aware of (I’d have to hunt them up, but I’ve seen them referenced before) which argue that the use of feminized language can be a method of stealth insult/diminishment when used by men to describe other men, and my own personal experience. It is difficult to see a situation where a grown man using the term “pretty” or any variation of the word “pretty” to describe another grown man means it as a compliment. Even if its purely meant as a descriptive term, it is a descriptive term that is weighted with significant meaning and is feminizing. And given the rock press’s obsession with masculinity and its insistence, as noted in other studies, of using masculine terms to portray a song as good and feminizing terms to describe them as weak or inferior, I don’t think its a coincidence that a rock press that knew well the power of masculine and feminine language commonly used feminized language, particularly in the 1970s and 80s, to describe McCartney."

I personally see this more as pseudo-homophobic than pseudo-misogynistic (like, when I see a man called "pretty" by another man in an insulting way, I immediately think "oh, that author wanted to say a gay slur but he's too Professional"), but the two things can get muddled together, I suppose.

Anyway, actionable items:

Diversify Your Fan Experience. More perspectives can really help gain a fuller understanding of not just the fandom but the Beatles themselves. Don't be afraid to be wrong, and don't be afraid to be right; always be open to learning new things and hearing new insights.

If All Else Fails, Block 'Em.

[certifiedceraunophile]

More Salty asks 👀

18, 21, 5, 4, 3, 7, 10.

ty <3

So sorry it took me so long to answer anon but here's the salt you've asked for

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

God no, wtf kind of logic is that, you can or not do something, as in shipping, or stanning or being an anti, for literally ANY reason including no reason, I repeat, you dont need a single fucking reason, much less a "valid" one, there is literally nothing called a valid reason when it comes to fandom bc all reasons are valid at the end of the day, since it's ffs JUST fiction. If you dont ship/stan something popular good for you, hang out w your rare pairs and fall in love w your minor characters, you want to write terrible fucking incoherent anti-metas about a character that's very popular, go ahead DO IT, literally nothing should stop you, it is not problematic to HATE an objectively good character w absolutely no reason, it's not problematic to LOVE a scumbag character for the shallowest reason, it's not problematic to condone evil acts done by your fav character and praise them and love them for it, it is not problematic to want a character killed simply bc they mildly grate you, it is not problematic to do or feel anything about a character as long as your aware that this character or ship cannot be removed from their fictional world and you are simply judging a fictional object who's actions and principles are bound to the fictional world they exist in and cannot in any way affect the real world beyond the value of entertainment.

--also completely tangential side note but if anybody thinks the depravities or deplorable actions explored in a fictional work can in anyway enable real life people who have consumed such media, to do and/or consider the same, I would politely suggest you to restrain from projecting your grossly malleable mind that's clearly more impressionable the wet stinking cement on to others, bc believe it or not most of us have this innate ability to not only separate fiction from reality, but also pick and choose what media we consume is allowed to influence us in addition to entertaining us--

But back to the point, my answer to that question is no, you are not biased, you are not in denial, you simply choose not to invest your time and energy and mindspace into this one fictional being or couple and that is just about the most valid thing as any.

21.What are your thoughts on crack ships?

absolutely love them, I really wish there are more absolutely WILD ships that have no logical reasoning behind them to exist in the fandoms I am part of.

5.Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Nope. although it has made a ship I was already mildly averse to even more worse in my eyes, but I dont think that counts.

4.Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Yep and it's a LIST, let's see Steroline, Bamon, Klayley, Klamille, Marbekah, I HATE KOLVINA.

And yeah that's about it, don't get me wrong I dont like many ships and need to click off ff if they are a part of it as a side pairing, but these are the ones I loathe w a passion bc one half of the ship is a character I absolutely LOVE and the other half is just the GREATEST disservice done to said characters,

For steroline- I wish stefan was never fished out from the bottom of that lake.

Bamon- Damon can get his dick skinned.

Klayley- Klaus is a fucking cockroach I agree. but Hayley good god is not helping the situation at all. Same for Klamille.

Marbekah-it's incest yall first of all, and second Rebekah deserves a man who fucking chooses her EVERYTIME and not just once when it's convenient for him.

Kolvina: I-I-do I even need to elaborate?? THE DISSERVICE DONE TO KOL. Christ. I am sorry but this ship I truly hate w a passion too strong for me to even bother playing it cool.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Nope. But I do block that specific tag/content so that when they post about the specific topic we disagree on I am not able to see it, CURATE YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE ALWAYS THANKS, and also having shitty shipping opinions is the last thing you can do to get me fired up and stop talking to you, my bff is both a steroline shipper and a Kolvina shipper, but she's my ride or die, like fandom opinions and thoughts on a fictional character amount to literally NOTHING in real life, and I really hope people understand that, but also at the same time in tumblr specifically, if a blog you follow posts anti-posts about your fav character or something like that absolutely unfollow them if you are not comfortable seeing it? following them to engage in fandom discourse is not something I personally would ever do, but as long both the parties involved are interested in discourse i see no harm, but if youre not willing to engage or even see such content ma'am wtf is it even doing on your dash UNFOLLOW and block the tag please.

[already answered the next q so I'm copy pasting it here]

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

oh lmao I wouldnt have been able to understand this question yesterday, but like today I was again hunting scenes for gifs, and I found that Marcel actually holds no appeal to me, in fact, If Elijah decided to slap his head off, I wouldnt have minded at all. Also I was a forwood shipper at the time but now I look at them and have this inexplicable urge to scratch something.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Redemption arcs, jfc I HATE THEM, mostly bc my ability to perceive villains shuttles between two distinct opposites, "They are depraved, and evil and everything wrong in this world and I LOVE THEM." or "They are depraved and evil and everything wrong in the world and I HATE THEM" there is literally no in between, so in the first case I love them precisely because they are the scourge of the earth, and a redemption arc [not that I've ever seen one done even mildly ok-ish for the characters to actually redeem them] will literally work to unfuck their fuckiness that I absolutely ADORE. So no I do not want redemption arcs for them at all, and on the flip side when I hate an evil character the only redemption I will accept is them being of good use to the maggots that feast on their dead rotten corpse.

This is the ask

[drsilverfish]

Nine Minutes to Midnight

5x21 Two Minutes to Midnight

Nine episodes to beat God, and fifteen years since Kripke pitched his original On The Road fan-fiction meets folk horror. 

I’ve had a lot of fun in this little corner of Tumblr SPN fandom, over the eight years I’ve been here. I arrived as a newbie in 2012, and people already here were kind to me. I’ve seen people come and go, get disillusioned with SPN and move onto new fandoms, or arrive latterly into this one, brimming with excitement. 

This is a weird social media platform, and I doubt it will be around forever, as one of its joys is how singularly bad it has been at integrating advertising.   

Some of my favourite things here have been;

Comments in the tags, often funny, thinky, joyful - love this element of Tumblr.

Coda fic - this short-form story-style, which leaps into the fan-fiction gaps, loud silences and lacunae of the text - what a joy.

All the different roles people take on in fandom, as labours of love - gif makers, fic and meta writers, artists, vidders, archivists, signal-boosters, enthusiastic readers and beta-readers, art-lovers, networkers, collaborators, question-askers and answerers, and participants of all kinds (introvert and extrovert).

Completely unrelated to SPN, posts which are full of puns and hilarity, from “lik the bred” to Brits vs Americans on the subject of drinking tea. I still love Tumblr’s collective sense of humour; it’s witty and charming. 

The language of gifs; those delightful comtemporary hieroglyphics of emotive expression.

The diversity - English is the shared language, but gradually it’s apparent that despite US dominance of the site, there are people from all over the world here, whose native tongues range from Russian to Italian to Brazilian Portuguese.

The collective meta experience - sharing “live” textual analysis has been huge fun. Viewing a text in a hive mind this way always shows you something you’d have missed on your own. It’s like holding up a crystal to a thousand lights and watching all the different refractions happening at once.

Again, not SPN specific, but experts in various subjects, from Egyptology to Medieval History suddenly emerging from the depths to provide a passionate and erudite exposition on their topic. Often prefaced with, “My time has come...”   

Fandom has a dark side. It can be a coping mechansim, for many, in a healthy or less healthy way. There are unfortunately, always the formation of various “in-groups” and “out-groups”, ship wars, harrassment (of other fans, cast and crew), entitlement, and wild unpleasantness. And, that scourge of the internet in general; performative outrage (otherwise known as the outrage economy) which turns up the dial on provocative statements and negative emotion because that acts as catnip for engagement. A lot of people act out their shadow-selves online, projecting their own internal stuff onto others, from behind the screen.    

Almost no media texts get to run as long as SPN (fifteen years) but my first fandom was (and is) Doctor Who and that has been going for over 50. It has some absolutely horrendously toxic spaces and places online, and many of pure joy. My advice is - find the joy.  

Stories, by inviting us into the shoes of others, teach us at their (and our) best, the invaluable gift of empathy.

Take care of yourselves. Endings are hard, no doubt.

Special shout-out to fellow LGBTQ+ fans - hold onto your hearts. 

It can be complicated loving a story telling its queer (romantic/ erotic) love story implicitly (i.e. in subtext). 

Don’t forget (as I always say in my tags) subtext is part of narrative - meaning, the totality of a text contains its explicit and implicit elements; its text and its subtext, just like Metatron (aka Robbie T) told us in 9x18 Metafiction. 

I wasn’t in the fandom myself, here on Tumblr, but I saw some of the fall-out from BBC Sherlock S4, and it was particularly distressing to see so many young LGBTQ+ fans feeling deeply hurt and even suicidal, because they’d read all the (extensively crafted) queer subtext in that show as a promise which would, inevitably, lead to an unequivocal queer “coming out” for John and Sherlock.

Those queer fans weren’t “self-queerbaiting” - they were just reading the totality of the text. And after all, why not read the subtext that way, as a promise? Being of a generation who’d already gotten to see many explicitly out queer characters on-screen; why not dare to imagine the subtext was a slow-burn romance with an inevitable “out” climax? Especially because Mark Gatiss (one of the writers) is out and queer himself, young queer fans were even more certain that his Sherlock would be the first “out” queer Sherlock on-screen (The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, 1970, which Gatiss is on record as being a fan of, had previously queer-coded Holmes, as indeed does Downey’s version, in Sherlock, 2009, and Sherlock 2: A Game of Shadows, 2011.)

Of course, the corporate and production politics were no doubt complex behind the scenes at the BBC, and Gatiss himself (apparently) saw things differently saying (in an interview in Oct 2010):

“No, I don’t think I’d make a kind of gay programme. It’s much more interesting when it’s not about a single issue. And equally, I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting.” (Buzz Magazine Oct 2010: p10).

All of which, is why I’ve been adding a disclaimer to my readings of SPN’s queer subtext for a while now - namely, that reading the subtext doesn’t promise a rainbow of obviousness at the end. 

As I said, take care of your hearts, lovelies.   

Perhaps we shouldn’t need the narrative closet any longer. 

But, we are walking between worlds, an old one and a new, both of them currently existing simultaneously, especially in a globalised world. 

Queer audience fractions are, generally, more attuned to queer subtext, because it often uses codes derived from queer culture (although reading cinematic/ television subtext of all kinds is a learned skill, and no one is born with text-reading gaydar). So, whilst queer subtext may appear “loud” to some audience fractions, it remains invisible to others. That is, historically, by design, because, whilst “out” queer characters have gradually emerged on-screen since the 1950s [and the end of the Hays Code in Hollywood] queerness was, and still is (depending on where one is in the world) subject to legal penalty, state censorship or corporate production censorship.

A contemporary kind of state censorship is e.g. in China, where overt LGBTQ+ themes and characters cannot be depicted on-screen (hence, the queer subtext in The Untamed). A contemporary commodity kind of censorship might be e.g. notes from the Network, or TPTB at Marvel Studios with an eye on box-office. Queer subtext has the ability to slip past the censors, or be tolerated by them; because, now you see it/ now you don’t. A character with a straight “surface” reading and a queer subtextual one may (depending on the film/ TV product and its market etc,) be seen to pose less risk as a commercial product, whilst being able to appeal to different audience fractions simultaneously. For example, Captain Marvel  (2019) and, as above, BBC Sherlock (2010-2017).

And yes, it’s complicated, because in the midst of that still extant censorship, which queer writers and other creatives on set may indeed be trying to work around by using queer subtext, we can see another world is possible. More out queer stories are being told. And, although we may love to see implicit queerness rather than no queerness at all, and indeed although implicit queerness may (arguably) have the freedom (still) to tell less boundaried or stereotyped stories than explicit queerness (with powerful effects on the audience fractions, both queer and straight, who do “see” it) we can’t deny that it does suit corporate entities, in some cases, to be able to appeal to a dual audience without the perceived “risk” of “outness”.  A form of “queer-sploitation” which leads to the charge of “queer-baiting”.

The issue is, perhaps, particularly one surrounding male hero characters in Hollywood (and here in the UK) a) because “queer stories” are (still) often, not seen as likely to have universal appeal for broader audiences, whereas “straight stories” are not framed as “straight stories” but as universal ones, and b) because of the persistence of the prejudiced belief in particular that “queerness” undermines masculinity, especially “heroic” masculinity (here we have diverged markedly from the ancient Greeks). It’s somewhat different for female characters, but that’s another post. Fantasy, in the on-screen medium (if less so in fiction or comics) appears to be a more regressive genre than, say, comedy, in terms of the depiction of “out” queer central (rather than side) characters, with the exception of the Wachowskis’ Sense8 (2015-18) in which pretty much everyone is queer. I know there’s Ruby’ Rose’s Batwoman (2019- ) which I haven’t had a chance to check out yet, and we’ve got some queer Marvel (side) heroes upcoming, apparently; Valkyrie in Thor: Love and Thunder and Phastos in The Eternals - let’s see how that goes.

Moreover, queer subtext doesn’t have an exact analogy i.e. a “straight subtext” equivalent. Yes, many films and TV shows imply romantic/ sexual tension and interest between M/ F (pre)couples before it is “confirmed” they’re into each other in the text. However, because straight is the default assumption, audiences may muse and disagree about the potential for a M/ F romance at the implicit stage (as they have done in SPN fandom re Sam/ Rowena) but they don’t ask - “Does this mean they might be straight ????” It is assumed. Queerness, on the other hand, in order to be widely recognised (rather than solely by the subtext-reading audience fraction) must “come out” in some manner, explicitly, in the text (I don’t mean graphically, but “beyond reasonable doubt”).  In other words, as painful as it is, we are not starting on a level playing field. It’s not fair, but it is the deal. 

That doesn’t mean we can’t love contemporary queer subtextual stories, just that it’s important to acknowledge it can be painful, for some, to do so, and just as it’s important to acknowlege it’s OK to find them too painful to love, also (historical texts obviously operated under different circumstances). 

Queer audiences are not homogenous. We can, and do, see things differently from one another, perhaps particularly across generations. 

It is the case however, I think, that the structuring of a story by the narrative closet, as SPN has been structured by the narrative closet (up to this point, mid S15) (by which I mean its queerness is transparent to some, invisible to others, by design) cannot help but remind many queer audience members of our own struggles with the real world closet. Indeed that may make the story attractive, or unattractive, to different folk. 

Incidentally, which is why I avoid it, I think the “it’s canon”/ “it’s subtext” debate is a false dichotomy and a bit confusing, as there are two, perfectly legitimate (within their own terms) definitions of “canon”. In the fandom sense, where “canon” means a romantic/ erotic pairing explicitly confirmed in the text, Destiel (meaning romantic/ erotic orientation between Dean and Cas) is not “canon” (as at 15x11). It is implied. Of course, it is explicit text that they care deeply for one another - “You’re my family. I love you, I love all of you” (12x12 Stuck in the Middle with You), “You’re my best friend” (15x09 The Trap). The exact nature of that relationship remains, however, deliberately, ambiguous. 

In the literary sense, in which “canon” means “the official body of work”, SPN’s official body of work contains a metric tonne of implicit romantic/ erotic Dean/ Cas, so, it is part of the SPN “canon” in that sense - “subtextual canon” if you like. Although, of course, because implied, therefore open to interpretation.... deliberately transparent to some and invisible to others.

Despite all this complexity, and, indeed despite other elements of the SPN narrative which I have struggled with personally (the early seasons’ misogyny is off the charts sometimes, the brutally insensitive manner of Charlie’s death) I have loved this story, Supernatural, truly, madly, deeply, in large part because of its (implicit) queerness. And for may other reasons additionally, from its folkloric beginnings and dark initial cinematographic palette, to its melodrama, to its, eventual, Ourboros structure, and its Jungian alchemical journey marrying the cosmic to the earthly. 

Reading the show without the queer subtext remains possible, but oh boy is that analogous to only considering the above sea-level portion of an iceberg.  

I would prefer a rainbow of obviousness at The EndTM, but I don’t expect one. What I expect is continued, deliberate, ambiguity. Something I am sure we will be debating the ethics of, long after. 

I could be wrong :-). But I am taking my own advice, and taking care of my heart.      

For now, it’s nine minutes to midnight; let’s see how the story ends.

And afterwards, however the chips may fall, the characters will (as this most meta-narrative of seasons has been busy telling us) be set free of “Chuck’s” control. They will belong to us, in a thousand thousand fan-works, for as long as we care to keep on loving them.             

[all-hail-the-witcher]

cats the movie was created by the mafia and here's why

so since one (1) person said that they still wanna hear this theory imma post it

first, the reviews of cats are so mixed, it's confusing. im not even sure if everyone is talking about the same movie. lets look at some of the more wild ones:

but then i found these two:

both of these reviews (the second one especially) explicitly mention celebrities, which, made me think of a conspiracy theory

i once watched a video (i think it was a shane dawson one) where he discussed how people believe that it could be a possibility that the government uses celebrities and their scandals to distract the population from their wrongdoing and general mishaps. that being said, lets unpack what we know about cats:

-cats themselves (as in the animal) are generally very cute and people find them funny. it is commonly perceived by some that the internet - youtube specifically - is “that place with the cat videos” and people are very entertained by them (think about tik toks, twitter and tumblr threads, vines, and ig accounts) and even interact with cats if they happen to be allergic to them. it is safe to say that the human population has somewhat of an obsession with cats. 

-cats the musical is generally misunderstood by a lot of people. i have never actually seen it but from what i understand its a musical about cats competing to see who will die and theres one good song (memory). the internet has gone about about “what the heck is cats even about” for many years before the movie came out in the form of memes and other random internet jokes.

and now lets address the us government. right now most people agree that its plenty shitty for various reasons. even people in other countries Dont Get It. (im not going to get too into it because chances are if you have an internet connection you've heard about the shit the us government has done recently)

now. onto the movie itself. (hang onto your hats this is where it gets wild)

according to google, cats is a british american film. it is a well known fact that america was originally colonized by the british and we gained our freedom in 1776 (i really hope thats not news to you) but the war didnt end until the british surrendered at yorktown in 1781 and the treaty of paris wasn't signed until 1783. the british were notoriously salty afterwards, continuing to pirate american ships and do other generally annoying things which resulted in the war of 1812. it was not until after the war of 1812 (which officially ended in 1815) that the british recognized america was independent and actually started respecting them. britain and america were also allies and have famously teamed up to stop people from taking over the world (ie ww2 amongst others).

youre probably wondering what the hell this has to do with cats. stick with mw, we’re getting there.

in the weeks after the 2016 election, there were many memes circulating the internet along the lines of this:

needless to say, it was a wild time for america. 

now, admittedly, britain was Also in the midst of their own wild time because of brexit, but somehow the election results managed to kind of overshadow that (at least in america). 

so lets review some Important Dates:

-june 23, 2016 -> brexit is proposed

-november 8, 2016 -> 2016 election

-march 2017-> britain formally announces leaving the eu

additionally, in 2016 the worlds biggest superpowers were (in order) the us, russia, china, india, and the uk.

now, onto my theory.

the mafia has always notoriously been trying to be stopped by the government for their crime and is a strange organization with a lot of money. the mafia Does still exist although mostly in new england. since 2016 there has been a disconnect between the government and the people due to the staggering amounts that do not support the current president. the mafia may have seen this as an opportunity to overthrow the current government/president and cabinet and place their own person there so that they wouldn't get as much shit from the government. 

this theory does get a little bit complicated regarding the presidents suspected ties to the mafia. however, the mafia is very powerful and i have no doubt that they could have somehow blackmailed trump or implemented false records in order to depict the president falsely. or they could have tricked the president into working with them in order to gain secrets to help them overthrow him. the possibilities are endless. 

so in the time between the 2016 election and when britain formally announced leaving the eu, the mafia probably had some time to scheme a little, thinking up possible ways for them to overthrow the government. 

after britain announced leaving the eu, someone in the government must have realized that it was making britain widely unpopular and they should do something to clean up their image. so they take a peek around and happen to notice that america is royally fucked cause of the president and there are people threatening to move to canada cause of it.

but why is any of this of importance to britain?

well, britain used to be the top world superpower before ww2, but then were beat out by america both after the war and when they announced nsc 68, a plan to make amerias military stronger and provide aid to american allies being threatened by communism. although britain and america stayed allies, it is likely that britain may have been a bit salty about this. and, if they could somehow get rid of trump and weaken the country this may bump the us from the lead world superpower and (if they were lucky) also russia and china who the president was more or less involved with.

low and behold who has the same desires? the mafia.

so the mafia and britain team up to defeat the us government. but how will they do it?

my friends, that is where cats comes in. 

as stated, the government has previously used celebrity scandals to cover up and distract from their own. the mafia and britain would not have wanted to make this seem like anything out of the ordinary, so they decided to implement this form of distraction, but twisted it into grotesque exposure. but they needed a vehicle in which to use this

if you refer to my information on cats from before, american people love cats and cats the musical is a somewhat loved classic that makes little to no sense. additionally, theater fans have recently been calling for screen filmed shows so they dont have to spend lots of money on tickets (see newsies live and bandstand) so in order to pass this off as normal they chose to use cats.

howmst ever, they needed to make the american people not like cats anymore so that they wouldn't be easily distracted by them. how to accomplish this? make the cats in the movie cgi celebrities. 

the celebrity lineup of the movie is quite impressive, containing the following:

james corden, judi dench, jason derulo, idris elba, jennifer husdon, ian mckellan, taylor swift, and rebel wilson. 

these celebrities were all chosen for the type of audience they would draw in so that it would be as vast as possible. (old people, young people, middle aged people, etc).

the mafia paid these celebrities handsomely and coerced them into being in the movie. 

now, lets discuss the timeline. 

the movie itself premiered on december 20th and the mafia and britain would have begun creating it as soon as march of 2017. scripts take up to 12 weeks to write, putting them at june of 2017. pre production takes 10 weeks, putting them at about halfway through september 2017. it takes about an average of 10 weeks to film, putting them at december 2017. and, according to pixar, animating a movie can take between 4 and 7 years, however, the reviews have stated that cats only took about a year to animate the movie, putting it at about december 2018. this would give the mafia about 7 extra months for any needed editing or fixing between when they could have hypothetically started and ended the movie itself because the trailer came out in july of 2019.

they would have wanted to release the movie just before 2020 because that is when the next election takes place and they would need everyone to be immune to propaganda. 

the mafia and britain creating cats explains a lot of things such as:

-why james corden has not gone to see the movie

-why the animation is so horrifying

-why the movie was made in such little time

-why the celebrities in the movie are actually in the movie

-why the budget was able to be so large if it was an epic flop

-peoples general confusion as to why the movie was even made

see, they would have known that even if not a lot of people saw the movie, it would have made headlines just because of how bad it is, terrifying people of both the celebrities in it (remember this includes james corden, a prominent talk show host and taylor swift, one of the top song writers) and of cats themselves.

in conclusion, cats was filmed by the mafia and great britain in an attempt to overthrow the us government.

be careful who you vote for in 2020.

[bigskydreaming]

Like, the thing you guys gotta understand is my loud opinions are far more defense mechanism than they are “I think I am right and nobody else is ever and people should listen to me only.”

Nah. They’re literally just me being as loud and as visible with the stuff that matters the most to me as is possible....because that actually minimizes the flack I catch for y’know...stuff I’m truly passionate about believing.

For example, my online behavior and tendencies in fandom on tumblr specifically....were largely shaped by my experiences in Teen Wolf fandom. Where I started out being as civil as possible wherever possible, and gradually got louder and angrier over time because THAT DIDN’T MATTER. Its why tone policing is bullshit, through and through. Because the real issue was never HOW I was saying what I was saying, it was what I was saying at all.

See, I flat out don’t like the fandom fave Stiles, as he’s portrayed on the show, and never did. Not from day one. He bothered the fuck out of me from the pilot. And this is a very controversial opinion in TW fandom, and was far more so back when I was first becoming ‘known’ in fandom, whatever the fuck that means or is even worth (seriously, its not worth a lot. You guys, stop putting so much weight in the visibility of more ‘well known’ bloggers....that doesn’t directly translate into the influence you think it does, especially when those bloggers are still holding what the majority of a fandom deems ‘unpopular’ opinions).

But back in my early TW days, I wasn’t really ‘known’ at all, for my blog and my opinions on the show. I was better known for my fics, which at the beginning, I was writing and updating fairly quickly. I’ve published somewhere just shy of 100,000 words of TW fanfic....and the vast majority of that was all written in just the first year or two in fandom.

And the thing is, for people who just found me on Ao3 and not on my blog originally....they weren’t as immediately aware of my bias against Stiles. Because I hate bashing ANY characters in fic. Even ones I don’t like, because the point of fanfic for me, is to FIX my personal issues with the source material, improve on the things *I* especially dislike....so even though I dislike Stiles on the show, in my better known TW fics, he was still present, and I was still trying to be as true to his core characterization as possible, WHILE addressing what I considered his core problem areas.

The kicker being.....a LOT of Stiles-fans LIKED my fanfic depiction of Stiles. A lot of S/terek fans included. You look at my TW fics like Where Wild Things Are or Lightning Crashes in particular....you’re gonna find a LOT of comments from self-proclaimed S/terek fans and Stiles stans....and those are just the ones I didn’t delete when I was forced to aggressively moderate my comments when a lot of those same commenters got loud and angry at me.

Which they did see....once they started connecting my Ao3 account to my blog, and my opinions on the show in general, which were starting to be more widespread in fandom due to some better known mutuals. I mean, its not like it was a big secret. My Ao3 pen name for my Teen Wolf fic is bigskydreamin’. It....wasn’t really anything I felt I needed to clarify, lmao.

But once people realized that the very same writer they liked for his take on Stiles very vocally disliked the show’s Stiles because of behaviors and scenes that I quote unquote deemed abusive (which I do, and stand by to this day).....they went fucking APESHIT on me. Like.....I can not even TELL you the extent of the nasty comments, anons, emails and reviews I got from some of the very same people who previously were glowing in their praise of my fics, especially the Stiles scenes.

All because I didn’t like the show’s depiction of certain behaviors and toxic dynamics, and set out to improve these things in my fic while being true to the characterizations....and which they had LIKED....until they realized my take didn’t come from a place of “oh I think Stiles is just the best.”

And then the fateful day came when one of them flat out asked me why I didn’t ship S/terek and if I would ever write S/terek....

And I had the balls to answer honestly. LOL. I wasn’t even insulting or offensive...just blunt. I told the person that I have serious issues with S/terek because of the power dynamics and the way they’re romanticized within fandom and most fics rather than called out and addressed, and I said I would never have any interest in tackling these topics myself in any kind of S/terek fic because my own past with abuse makes the ship just inherently unappealing to me because of how I perceive it, and I feel zero desire to ‘fix’ a thing I wouldn’t want on any level to begin with.

And they went and told all their friends and lol, RIP the rest of my TW years - and this was probably back in like, Year Two of my time in TW fandom. For a more accurate estimate, look for when I lost the will to update my big fics, because like. What was the point? Any positive reaction I got from updates at the time was just drowned out by the hate I got for adding to a story many of them were still reading, judging by the way my hit counts were still pretty steady with what they’d been with previous updates.....but that at the same time, they were heaping all kinds of shit on me for just....having opinions they didn’t like at the same time as I wrote stuff they still DID like.

The juxtaposition of those two things....lol. Man. Its a trip, I’ll tell you that.

And to be honest, the same thing has been happening ever since I started being more involved in Batfandom. You guys know how I reblog a lot of my own posts? That’s not something I used to do like, ever in TW fandom...because all the content I was making then was fresh. But I’ve always been a fan of Dick Grayson even while I was knee deep in TW fandom, so my longtime followers can tell you....I’ve been making these posts about him all along. A lot of my more popular Dick Grayson posts were written years ago, before I started getting active in this fandom....which only really happened over last summer. 

And the difference in TONE in a lot of my posts, is a lot of the ‘tamer’ posts.....which express the exact same viewpoints I have as in my more heated posts.....is because my ‘tamer’ posts were written as one-offs that I just wrote in passing while in a fandom that generally didn’t have any interest in my Batfamily musings....which did not at all stop me from still making those posts from time to time....because I don’t post ANYTHING for the sake of getting notes. Its literally just shit that’s on my mind, that I want to put out there for people to do whatever the hell they feel like doing with them. 

And so most of the posts I reblog, that seem more ‘mild’....its because I wrote them years ago, they got like maybe ten notes at the time, lol, and I’m reblogging them now because I have more of a platform and think they’d still be of interest to fans of that content specifically....but the stark tone difference is because when I wrote THOSE....nobody was jumping on my back the second I hit post to tell me how obviously wrong and stupid I was for not getting this or that or that and having this opinion on this character or just “caring too much about fictional characters.”

Like, you get what you give, people. You throw shit at me, eventually, I’m gonna start throwing shit back, and no, you don’t get to be pissed about that when all the evidence is there that I’m MORE than capable AND willing to have a good time just by myself....and more than happy to have people join in....as long as nobody’s being a douchebag. But if you get your douchebaggery on and start making my life hell....I’m gonna start raising my voice, because that shit fucking sucks.

The sheer vitriol I got for simply stating that I have no interest in writing a S/terek dynamic I see as inherently toxic due to the inherent power imbalances, BECAUSE of my own history as an abuse and rape survivor, which I was frank about.....it blows my mind. People are literally OFFENDED that in response to questions THEY asked me, I said....I do not like this thing, because of how it affects my feelings about my own trauma. 

Like, for years I have gotten monthly hatemail in my asks for spreading toxicity and hate through the TW fandom and ‘hurting real abuse/rape survivors by misleading people and calling S/terek pedophilic and misusing terms like that’....

And the utterly hilarious thing (in that not at all sort of way), is I have never ONCE called S/terek pedophilic, or anyone who ships it a pedophile. Never. Once!

You know why? Its not even because of my own personal view on whether or not that’s an accurate label for that ship....its because IT WASN’T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SPECIFIC CRITICISMS I’VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON MAKING.

Like, I literally never even got AROUND to expressing whether or not I thought that was a label that applies to that ship, because I’ve always had plenty of thoughts just purely on the specific power imbalances as I break them down in my view of that pairing....REGARDLESS of what you label those power imbalances. I don’t fucking CARE about the terminology. My concern has never once been what the fuck you call it, so I never made it ABOUT what anyone calls it, and purely focused on why I think it isn’t healthy just in specific terms.....and yes, pulled from my own personal experience and knowledge of abuse to back up why I feel that way, and to clarify why I feel so strongly about it.

But does any of this matter? Nope. Because all people cared about when directing hate my way for my oh so controversial opinions was not what was accurate to my views, but what was effective in discrediting them.

And the same shit is already happening in Batfandom, and its obnoxious, and tired, and yeah, its why I’m already kinda coming out of the gate hot and heavy, because within like....less than two months of me starting to post more regularly about Batfam specific content and getting some followers who have large fandom presences and boosted my posts to a pretty broad fandom circulation....

Its like, welcome to TW fandom, rinse and repeat.

Hardly any of the actual flack I’ve gotten in this fandom so far has anything whatsoever to do with my opinions on the Batfam....its almost all about the fact that I don’t like noncon/pedophilia/incest fics and am critical of the permissive attitude fandom spaces have cultivated around this stuff. And of the fact that I think the culture of false positivity fandom spaces try to enforce at the expense of marginalized fans who try to speak up about their experiences with racism and other forms of oppression and bigotry online, like, is similarly bullshit. Like, the thing people don’t like me for most of all, is that I’m LOUD and OPINIONATED about saying that these things specifically, fucking suck, and here are my own personal experiences that make me feel that way.

And notice the lack of actual argument with my actual posts. Notice how its all about ME....my volume....my ‘irrationality’....my obvious mental health issues (I’ve heard that one a couple times already, lol - no shit, I’m ADHD, have longterm PTSD, and a literal lifetime’s worth of trauma I’m still actively unpacking and sorting through, lol, what the fuck was the revelation in me having mental health issues? I’m not shy about it, and I don’t use it as an excuse for being an asshole.....guess what? I’m an asshole sometimes, and I can absolutely point to when and where I’ve been one. I’m not hiding it, and I’m not hiding behind mental illness).

Plus, y’know there’s my ‘fake wokeness’ because a white man can’t have any possible reasons or experiences that lead to him choosing to prioritize supporting people of color in fandom over other white people while still firmly being motivated by things that are born of his own life and his own lane, and just *gasp* happen to make me care more about certain shit than other white people do, like.....I’m as transparent as I am about my feelings and motivations for a REASON. I’m not UNAWARE of any of this or how I come across.....the thing so many of you don’t get is that none of this is a multiple choice test where you have to circle the right answer and you pass, you’re a good ally or a good influence or a good person.....all of this is just life. Its just us all making choices and everyone else reacting to those choices in whatever the hell way they choose. 

I’m not trying to win any points with anybody.....if I DID care about cultivating my own influence in fandom, I MORE than have the communication skills to couch my most controversial opinions in language that would be more palatable to the MOST influential corners of fandom, draw more people in, be less alienating or distancing to people who have a kneejerk defensive reaction to a lot of the things I say....like, however influential I may or may not be in various fandoms and various fandom circles....I am perfectly aware of how I could say or do things differently to have MORE influence in broader reaching circles....I just fucking hate that kind of game playing. 

I’m the opposite of trying to win points....I just want the people who are around me and who follow me to actually RESPECT me enough to fucking listen to me and what I have to say....because otherwise, how do either of us even benefit? What’s the point? Who’s gaining anything from any interaction?

So yeah. I’m loud, and vocal, and opinionated....I say exactly what’s on my mind and I don’t apologize for it. I’m an asshole to people who are an asshole to me first, and sometimes I fuck up and I’m an asshole to people who don’t deserve it. And if you call me on that and I pull my head out of my ass soon enough to notice in time that you’re right and I owe you an apology, I’ll do that! And if you don’t want to call me on it and choose to take the offense I caused as a reason not to follow me or interact with me any further....that’s perfect valid and understandable too, and absolutely your right! Do what you need to do for you!

But the one thing that will never ever ever win you any points with me and that I just despise more than anything....is the fundamental lack of awareness, and lack of respect for me and what I’ve lived through....that the S/terek readers of mine who started the chain of events that led to me settling on my current approach to interacting with fandoms.

That thing where some people in various fandoms think its perfectly acceptable and reasonable to like some of my fan content....but then get pissed and upset with me because I don’t like all of the same things you do, think all of the things you do, and am judgmental about various ships you might have or fics you might read or write......and then take this out on me.

Nuh uh. Not okay. Never okay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, I DO NOT SIT THERE AND TAKE THAT SHIT.

Because the thing the people this describes seem incapable or unwilling to grasp is....

For all your talk of “don’t like/don’t read” and telling me and other survivors to take responsibility for curating our own fandom content and experiences and avoiding things that might trigger us....

Even when I TRY and do that to the absolute BEST of my ability.....some of you still get pissed at me and go on the offensive because I don’t want to interact or be around certain content or people who are inspired to create that content....because of what it brings up for me, because of my various past traumas.

Like, that’s what it boils down to, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. People liking what I have to say, until I say I don’t like something they don’t like and here’s why....and then its open fucking season, because how dare I not want to associate with them because that association is likely to expose me to triggering things they also at the same time expect me to take responsibility for avoiding, so as not to blame anyone else for my exposure to such things.

Can you please maybe understand why that fundamentally DOES NOT FUCKING WORK??

And is not only utterly unreasonable, but offensive to ask of someone who’s just trying to participate in fandom and have a good time and simply STATE when and where relevant, that there are things that impact my ability to have a good time, just as there are things that impact the ability of other fans to enjoy themselves alongside you as well?

Or are we ever going to get around to some people admitting that their fandom experiences have absolutely nothing to do with caring about the ‘community’ people swear up and down exists, and solely prioritize their own personal enjoyment, and FUCK everyone else? (While meanwhile, also being all: but why aren’t they making more of the stuff that I at least was enjoying when they weren’t bitching about not having fun here?’ LOL. Can’t ever forget that part.)

Its just.

You all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. And that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, because I have as much right to be here as anyone, and I DO still manage to have a good time a lot of the time in spite of this crap, but that’s never gonna stop me from saying I have a right to have more of a good time and less of a literally triggered time, if any of you might ever care to prioritize that for me as much as you ask me to prioritize your good times for you.

This isn’t me doing anything other than saying....you all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. Because sometimes, I just want to say that. Sometimes, it feels good to say that. And at every time, I have every damn right to say that in any way, shape or form I want to say it, at any volume I want to say it at, because none of this is me yelling at anyone, it is every single one of us sitting safe and comfortable in front of a screen of some kind, reading someone else express themselves and deciding how we want to take that expression and what’s being expressed, and how we want to react or not react in turn.

Like....just...its that fucking simple. That is literally all so much of this fucking ‘discourse’ is. People experiencing life in different ways than other people, and some people wanting to improve their experiences, some people wanting their experiences to stay just the way they are, some people wanting to ignore every experience that doesn’t fit their expectations or desired interactions, and other people just.....idk, just being fucking high, let’s face it, half the shit on this site is just plain weird and I like to assume the best of humanity and just chalk it up to half this site’s user base being high as fuck most of the time they post, LOL. 

*Shrugs* Congrats if you actually read all the way through to the end of this post....like....this is where I reiterate...I have ZERO expectations for this post. I have NO clue how people will react to it, how many or how few people will take it in the way I want it to be taken, especially because *I* don’t even know how I want it to be taken or what I would like to come of it. This is literally just me saying shit that is on my brain in response to my own personal experiences on this site and in this fandom. It is utterly, 100% up to you guys to decide what you do with it from here.

If I have one want for all fandoms, I guess it would just be.....for people to look to their own behavior and motivations and choices and take responsibility for their own shit before projecting onto other people and expecting them to do all of that while still refusing to do any of it themselves.

Too many people keep trying to drive one way on what are supposed to be two-way streets, and being shocked when that repeatedly results in collisions, pileups, accidents and blatant hit and runs.

We all live in a society.

Quit treating other members of that society like they only exist to cater to your existence alone.

[laughingpinecone]

Press Start letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

It’s a long list of character combos so the specific requests aren’t overly detailed, please draw at will from my general likes and general fandom likes in addition or as an alternative to any of those!

All requests are art or fic - for art, the stuff I like is the kind that depicts the characters doing something. I’ll always be happier with a very simple drawing of two characters walking together or sharing a cup of coffee than with an ambitious composition that looks like an Avengers poster. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s).

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships)

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay), canon retellings, consent issues

Dark Souls

I’m only familiar with the first game+DLC! It’s probably relevant to mention that I think that linking the fire is kind of a dumbass move and Gwyn is an ass, but on the other hand Kaathe has his own agenda and there’s no winning move in this world, or at least no obvious one. Feel free to deviate from anyone’s canon endings, to make things happen that’ll stave off their hollowing. I am interested in any of these people meeting and possibly striking up a friendship, and also in exploring Lordran’s temporal/dimensional fuckery, where it’s possible to meet people who have been gone for ages…

Group: Solaire of Astora & Siegmeyer of Catarina: so much fanart of Sun Bro & Onion Bro being bros, so little fic. And yet, the potential! How’d they bounce off each other, what about the fact that Siegmeyer is apparently a proper Catarina knight after all while Solaire just painted his self-made insignia and left, what would Sieg think of Solaire’s quest?

Group: Alvina the Cat & Sieglinde of Catarina: dunno, kitty. I love them both and I want everyone cool to go on adventure with each other. What’s left for Alvina now that Sif is gone, Artorias’ grave desecrated? For her part, did Sieglinde, you know, (mimics Ash Lake)?

Ghost Trick

I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Exploring the ghost lore is great. All what-ifs welcome (what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if a different party went back to the past and kept their memories, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around…) Also open to AUs here, especially for generic fantasy or sci-fi settings or the Final Fantasy ones I prompted last Yuletide.

For the non-canon sides of Jowd/Alma/Cabanela, please no infidelity? I’d be good with either setting the fic during the game timeline or some what-if thereof when the other spouse is dead or unavailable, or simply keeping them offscreen and not mentioning them (eg Alma/Cabanela beach day, Jowd/Cabanela precinct shenanigans)

For Jowd in general, I do love my big boy and enjoy milking that size difference for all it’s worth. In gen contexts too, it’s neat. him big.

Group: Jowd & Yomiel: I’d love to read about the intimate understanding that comes from their shared memories and the horrors they’ve mutually forgiven (and a penchant for morbidity they’ve gained from such horrors probably). Cat dads things welcome.

Group: Alma/Jowd/Cabanela: maybe once Alma and Jowd have figured out he’s smitten and that they do in fact reciprocate... they tease him to death, slowly and deliberately? Is it even a Jowd romance if there’s not an exhausting amount of teasing involved, I ask?

Group: Alma/Jowd & Cabanela: Cabs’ life is wild; his best friends’ home is a safe haven...

Group: Emma & Pigeon Man: Emma’s unsuspected beta reader...

Group: Alma/Cabanela: (taps mic) legs. And fashion!

Group: Cabanela/Jowd: a recent tumblr post made a convincing argument for Cabs liking to be in charge (the argument is just pointing at Cabanela, honestly). Jowd is... agreeable, by his own admission. But is it that simple?

Kentucky Route Zero

I love the ending and I’d love to see its themes and setting explored. I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I love AUs so that’s an option too. Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Were the requested characters part of it, what were their digital counterparts up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! I’d also love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Mostly, I just love all these characters so much and I’m going through the tagset’s options like a hyperactive cat. Any fragment of their lives will make me happy.

Group: Shannon Márquez & Conway & Conway's Dog: does Shannon get to see them after the ending? Even for a moment?

Group: Lula Chamberlain/Joseph Wheattree/Donald: so Lula went back to Mexico. Joseph is pensive. Did the events of the night shake up Donald, or what will it take?

Group: Junebug & Lula Chamberlain: artists! Outspoken... artists... with a complicated personality. Put them in the same room and...?

Group: Junebug & Johnny: where’s the strangest place they played in, and what did Johnny find there?

Group: Conway & Johnny & Junebug (Kentucky Route Zero): their story is about finding individuality, his is about succumbing and losing it. Would any of them pick up on this mid-Act IV? Or just... talking about limbs and stuff?

Group: Cate & Will & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): a few months later, Shannon finds herself on the Mucky Mammoth again...

Group: Carrington & Weaver Márquez & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): maybe the cousins were trying to bond or reminisce or whatever and Carrington dive-bombed into the conversation, but in the end it was an enriching experience... of sorts?

Group: Carrington & Lula Chamberlain (Kentucky Route Zero): I don’t usually look for college shenanigans but this may be the exception? Or Art Opinions?

Group: Carrington & Clara (Kentucky Route Zero): would she even... get a word in? Maybe with the right topic?

Group: Carrington & Cate & Will (Kentucky Route Zero): Mammoth life! ...what does theater have to say about mushrooms again?

Group: Shannon Marquez & Weaver Marquez (Kentucky Route Zero): at the end of it all, Weaver was waiting. After this end, they can stand side by side again...

Group: Emily & Ben & Bob (Kentucky Route Zero): so what does it mean, like, poetically, that they were temporally displaced and Act I is in their future from Act V? Is it possible they were not aware of it?

Mutazione

The island, the sense of community, newcomers joining the community, gardens and music... I love the mood of this little game. Got ideas for some part of the island we haven’t seen? What stories do they tell each other about Moon Dragon and the first days of the new life it brought? The plants encyclopaedia was great - do Yoké’s archives hide some other cool tome? Please, if Graubert is mentioned, I would much prefer a sympathetic portrayal - he’s got his issues but I felt that the game was much harder on him than anyone else.

Group: Yoké & Karoo: I love the friendship between Yoké and Nonno and filtering it through Karoo feels even cooler to me. When did the big spooky bird first visit, did Yoké know or perceive what was going on?

Group: Yoké & Claire: book club book club book club!

Group: Spike/Claire: they’re so cute! Dinner at Mori’s? Swimming together?

Group: Nonno & Spike: I love Nonno’s role in the community and Spike’s role in the community, and they’re the two people who landed there and decided to stay. Could they bond over this?

Group: Dennis & Nonno: Important Tree Health Business!

Group: Bopek & Jell-A: Jell-A is the absolute coolest and Bopek grew on me a lot. Their friendship is adorable! What could they do together? As a side note, Jell-A’s place has the tightest interior decor in the whole game. How’d that happen, and does Bopek get a flair for vintage shapes and volumes in his weaving?

Group: Mori & Nonno & Yoké: FRIENDS. Friends for a long time, through so much pain. An evening together while The Youths (tm) are at Spike’s bar?

Yoké: catch-all Yoké request because he’s my fave! Doing Yoké things, being a big nerd, caring for books and plants and stuff

Pyre

The burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! Thoughts about finding oneself at  the end of an age, as everything crumbles down to form something new. I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure. Out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. My main interest usually lies in post-canon exploration when applicable, but I’m also into various adventures during canon. Pick a location or a place outside the map and see what happens? As for the ending variables, I’d ask for a peaceful revolution and Oralech alive, but no preferences for who’s up and who’s down, pick whatever works best for any given plot bunny.

Group: Tariq & Soliam: what were Tariq and Celeste like in their earliest days? Were they made or summoned from some sort of preexisting star consciousness? They’re wildly different scenarios! I’m good with either. Does Soliam then see Tariq as a child of sorts, someone he made, or something greater than himself? Did he mean to do that, to have these two immortals around? What does Tariq learn from the First Scribe?

Group: Tariq & Dalbert Oldheart: Any excuse for Tariq to hang out with the Fates for a little while, and treasure and be treasured by dear Dalbert...

Group: Oralech & Vagabond Girl: after all is said and done, Oralech’s view of the Scribes is probably... understandably... dire. So of course I want to see him talk it out with ae!

Group: Celeste & Ignarius: look, listen, if the various triumvirates just camped out near their respective Scribe’s place during the Nightwings’ years-long absence (not the only possible explanation for how you find them all neatly lined up before the first lib rite, but an explanation nonetheless, I think. just let me have my crack), that means Iggy was Celeste’s neighbor for a long time. Neighborly hijinks please?

Group: Bertrude/Pamitha: Pam returning from her travels, again and again, and finding a home in Bertrude’s lab, finding an understanding there... Bertrude’s attitude being thorny in a way that’s just what Pam needs to allow herself to open up... also: snake kisses.

Group: Volfred Sandalwood/Oralech: waking up and remembering that the mourning that’s set deep in your roots is for someone who never died, waking up and remembering that the bitterness that consumed you had made up a betrayal that never was, finding each other through these crumbling walls... 

Molten Milithe: that’s the pov for a love letter to the Downside, right? And/or which Scribe did she bond with the most? Or the least for that matter?

Volfred Sandalwood: catch-all Volf’n’anyone request. I want to see our tree interact with any friend and foe you might fancy! Arguing for his beliefs, being a history professor through and through, finding himself in a tight spot and getting unexpected help, verbally tearing Brighton a new one if they ever cross each other’s path again...

group: Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: Volfred’s zodiac sign is Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so there’s that.    I love how they both hold the other in the highest esteem, especially on Tariq’s part since he’s the immortal Herald of the Scribes and Volfred is, all in all, a history teacher, but listen to him and you’d think the roles were inverted. I love my nonviolent canon but could anything happen to either of them that may require a rescue, and/or some good old-fashioned h/c? What’s something that could make Tariq of all people lose it? How’s life 100 years on?

Shenmue

This game cares for the little things. I’d love to see fanworks that try to out-slice-of-life canon...

Group: Qiu Hsu & Xianzi Bei: cormorant kung fu adventure! Do they hang out sometimes?

Group: Hazuki Ryo & Shenhua Ling: any moment, discussion, small adventure from their travels together! I love their bond! For all its waifufication of Shenhua, S3 really sold me on their friendship and a shared brand of dorkiness. Alternatively, sometimes I remember that they’d be 50ish in the present day - how and where do you picture them?

The Silver Case

I‘m all for the surrealism, big things being introduced and never picked up again, Rashomon’ing it up with six explanations for the same thing where no single one can be true, people dying and then popping up again like nbd...  maybe the thing I like the most is characters transcending their humanity and looming over the dystopian world like ominous avatars. Correctness’ first ending had me swooning, that kind of mood is unparalleled. I have played TSC, FSR and 25W so far and have vague memories of K7. I’m aware of the “everything’s connected” readings but that’s not my main interest in these games. For FSR-focused requests, I see Lospass as a real island but also a metaphysical  place of transformation first and foremost, where strange things happen that don’t make sense elsewhere.

Group: Toriko Kusabi & Remy Fawzil: What’s Toriko up to when she’s not chasing Chris? I think it could be fun to throw her at Remy and see the island from their point of view!

Group: Tokio Morishima & Edo Macalister: since Tokio stayed at the Flower Sun and Rain... I’m interested in peculiar happenings on Lospass that are not centered on Sumio...

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi/Sumio Kodai: Tetsu picked one hell of a crush, huh! What’s it like in the aftermath of the games, when Sumio is Like That? How does Tetsu grapple with Parade? Is Tetsu an anchor of sorts for Correctness Sumio, who seems (at best) to be existing on a slightly different plane of existence at any given time and could disappear if you blink too hard?

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi & Shinko Kuroyanagi: I’m joining the “let these two be foulmouthed friends” masses - who’d be more fed up with the other’s nonsense, and in which ways would they be an unstoppable team?

Group: Shinkai Tsuki & Tetsugorou Kusabi: Both of them end their stories in the shadows one way or another, and defending their protégé may have had a hand in their misfortune one way or another. What kind of understanding could they reach? What IS Tsuki up to anyway?

Group: Christina & Catherine: anthro Catherine, as per the Placebo bonus chapter Yami, was unexpectedly charming. What was Chris before reaching Lospass, and did he also have a chat with her on the plane or on the island?

[jakattax]

That is a very interesting point to raise and I definitely see on a daily basis a growing discontent towards ceremonialists like myself who adhere to the originating texts and carry out a traditional evocation, traditional meaning magician in circle, lengthy rites, usually the demon bound to a specific area for safety and containment. I’ve been recently called out on these methods as to some they are deemed harmful or disrespectful to the spirit at hand, as if they have they have kinship or compassion or even a degree of familiar friendship with spirits, in particular demons and most prominent with the 72 demons of the ars goetia. So much a rising anger and general distaste of these methods that even the word ‘Solomonic’ has been censored as if it’s a crass and vile insult, used only you wish to invoke the vengeful ghost of King Solomon. To say of demons are well meaning or not is a completely different debate, as spiritual entities we can’t really categorise or place any notion of human emotions or feelings unto spirits, as a whole we can’t invent their own motives or desires because it’s something we as humans won’t be able to comprehend. Can demons be deemed ‘good’ and ‘helpful’? Absolutely. Can demons not deemed ‘wicked’ and ‘unhelpful’? Again absolutely. There is no wide generalisation of such petty morality as good or evil in the mind of spirits or demons, they just can’t be registered on a scale, they are unquantified, immeasurable, neither white or black and not necessarily grey either. As magic is the highest form of natural science and philosophy, it’s the job and duty of the Magus to explore these areas and not just to form a consensus because someone in the Internet said so. What is deemed the Solomonic method of evocation, the formula and method which the vast majority of magicians have used for centuries is naturally the most appropriate and by far the safest method to achieve evocation. As I said that demons are morally ambiguous spiritual agents, they’re still a force from hell and being such their inherent energies tend to focus more on the wild and deceptive side, not necessarily ‘evil’ at all, just an aura of uncontrolled, feral power. And in a setting in which the Magus and those around him/her can be exposed to this is not ideal, as incorporeal beings they can effect your surroundings, body, mind and soul in a negative way. The ‘Solomonic’ method (I don’t really like labelling any form of spiritual ritual evocation as Solomonic in nature but I’ll use it for the sake of brevity) ensures that this can’t happen, it ensures that the magician is safely contained within the circle and that the demon is safely contained within the triangle. Yes there are spells in the Goetia such as the black handled knife, Greater Curse and the Curse of the fire in which the Magus places the sigil (the symbolic and physical representation of the demon) into a metal box and hands it over fire, thus in effect burning the demon until it relents into obedience, and yes these measures can be perceived as extreme. However in a ritual setting your never going to be guaranteed 100% success regarding who or what you conjure, you could spend the entire ritual in the hopes of contacting say Buer and you get a spirit which you either can’t identify or may be masquerading as Buer or may be a completely different demon of the Goetia altogether. What are you going to do then? Ask it nicely to go away? Demons do not respond to kindness and good intentions, if a demon is being unruly and uncooperative you simply must take these measures to rid yourself of it. Usually the knife of black handle will suffice, but the whole reason why these spells and curses against the demon exist is that they work in repelling the spirit. A demon cannot feel bad or be injured or wounded, a magician certainly can, a magician could die if they screw up a demonic evocation, these curses send the demon away, don’t be concerned about the feelings of a demon because they have little concern for you.

However under the right circumstances and when the evocation is carried out in the proper manner with the Magus showing due respect, veneration and adherence to the text, these complexities don’t happen; the demon is summoned safely, the Magus is safe, the request is given, you achieve or fail, Depart the demon and job done. No ‘harm’ done to the demon and hopefully no damage done to the magician through the operation. That’s as easy as it is. Read the book, follow the instructions and do the magic. The ars goetia, well in fact the entire Lemegeton is one of the few ‘complete’ traditional grimoires and as a system of magic it is in its entirety (well the ars notoria is a bit fuddled) and it is functional, practical and workable. Yes there are definite obstacles and hurdles such as the many tools you require and yes it ideally needs a prolonged period of study devoted to it, but once fully digested it is a relatively simple grimoire to work with.

And I think that’s where the modern problem of ‘boo you enslave demons!’ lies; in a nutshell it’s idleness and a lazy attitude to practical magic.

I don’t watch or interact with anime so can’t possibly comment on their representation of Demons or a western ceremonial magic evocation, and it’ll be impossible as a human to comprehend if there is a demonic agenda or conspiracy at work, for all we know there is, however I lack both the scholarly and practical knowledge to exposit further. However to address my prior point of laziness in magic; I’ve been on tumblr for over a year now, so I’m still new I know, and I joined because I understood that out of all social media platforms this one was most alive with the occult and magic. Before I joined tumblr I was very hermetic in my 10 odd years of magical study and practise so this is all relatively fresh to me. And I’m still constantly surprised and occasionally upset by the sheer amount of inaccuracies, deception, falsehoods and errors regarding some methods of magic. As a student of ceremonial magic with a dash of Alexandrian and Gardnerian Wicca with some traditional English witchcraft knowledge obviously I don’t know everything about every method and path of magic. And the constant thing which pops up the most is this modern attitude that magic is both simplistic and quick. That intent is all that matters and if you brush your hair you’ll get good fortune and if you drink water Persephone will give you a boon (I’m just using gross exaggeration here not specifically calling any one out. Well I am really, just no one in mind) and just this attitude that anything can be achieved with a bright attitude and a mindful of hope. Wonderful if your a happy go lucky existentialist and a very good way to live your life, but not in magic, not in ceremonial magic or evocation. Demons and spirits require hard work to get into contact with, it’s by no means a necessarily easy procedure as it demands time, effort, devotion and restraint, just like anything in life it gets easier with practise but it remains a long and arduous process. A sigil alone is not enough, the sigil is a demons written signature, it’s calling card, having one drawn on the ground is not enough to get a response. It may turn a head or get its eyes on you in conjecture with other factors but alone it’ll achieve nothing. There also seems to exist this feeling that demons can be companions, even friends and I’m not even going there because it’s laughable. I’m sorry but it is, your either deceiving others with your claims, deceiving yourself or just plain delusional if you think Baal has your back and is your personal chum. Obviously I’m being quite critical over the notion of demonolatory, again a relatively new term to me. As a core principal and philosophy of actual worship of a demon is just a bad, I’m running out of fancy words so I’ll just say bad. I think this attitude of magicians being the bad guys is a hodge podge of how everyone wants magic to be easier, so everyone skips the proper evocation techniques and those who do them are labelled ‘elitist’ just because we actually, you know, do the work. It’s not elitism in the slightest, it’s just that if you want the magic in the text to work you need to put in the work 🤷‍♀️ simples. And I certainly feel that maybe in the eyes of pop culture demons have become somewhat...cutesy. Look at poor Stolas for example. I think it’s this systematic dumbing down of demons in combination with a lazy attitude to magic that puts this idea into some people s head that demons are A: easy to contact and B: will be my friend. Naturally this is dangerous magic as your willingly opening yourself up to coercion and influence, you become blinkered almost and the ‘Solomonic’ methods are designed to counteract all of that, to secure the integrity of the magician so it’s he/her in control and not the spiritual force.

I’m losing cohesion now so I’ll wrap up. Yes this modern attitude of “Boo! Nasty S*lomonic magician hurting demons!” Is in this odd crucible of idleness, misinformation, pop culture attitudes and a lack of understanding of the core principles and working of ceremonial evocation, again in particular to the ars goetia. It is hard to deconstruct in its entirety and this is all just speculation and conjecture on my part. Obviously as a ceremonial magician I will always champion the ceremonial magic methodology, they haven’t changed or evolved (much) over the centuries for a very simple reason; it works. So don’t fix what isn’t broken.

[strange-destinations]

Dear Yuletide Writer 2019

(As usual, please ignore this if you don’t know what this is about!)

Hello, and thank you so much for writing something for me!! I adore seeing what people come up with for Yuletide and I am super excited for what you end up producing. I want this to be a good and enjoyable experience for you as a writer, so don’t try to second-guess yourself too much - just have fun making whatever it is!

Squicks/DNWS - no sex, please! (And it also follows that I’d rather like to avoid any noncon, kinky stuff even if it’s nonsexual, any other sort of sexual content, etc - that’s just not my sort of thing, really.) Romance is all right, if that’s the way that you want to take things, but I much prefer close friendships and family dynamics. However!! I am pretty much completely fine with body horror/violence, hurt/comfort, etc. 

I love good dialogue, character interaction, twist endings, and imaginative plots - and worldbuilding! Happy endings are preferred but not necessary if it just isn’t working for you.

In general - if you’re thinking about making something gay/trans/queer/ace in any way, you should probably absolutely go for it, because I’m wild for that sort of thing.

AUs are… fine and good, as far as I can think of! (Obv no A/B/O or sex-related stuff please, but) canon divergence, fantasy, high school, etc seem all good to me! Especially if there’s a whole lot of clever nods to original canon in there. 

In addition, I'm always welcome to receiving stuff in interesting and unusual mediums/styles. This includes stuff like Interactive Fiction (additional info here) and multimedia stuff.

Anyway, fandom time. Let's do this, y'all!

->

Fandom: Ruby Redfort series - Lauren Child

Available:  I managed to acquire a copy of the full series online via my local library - and the physical copies were at my local library too. I don’t have a link to them, I’m afraid.

Tvtropes page: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/RubyRedfort

Characters: *** Any from *** Ruby Redfort, Hitch, Blacker, Clancy Crew 

About the fandom: I just love it a lot.  I dragged its fandom out of the depths of Tumblr singlehandedly a few years ago and have been doggedly creating content for it ever since. There's just something really compelling about 'bright young kid gets accidentally adopted by spy agency' (yes i know that's not EXACLY what happens but I can dream, right?)

Prompts/suggestions:

Like I said above, I really like the idea of Ruby being essentially adopted by the whole Spectrum team.

I’d love to see some casefic! Blacker and Ruby working together to solve a puzzle or problem - either serious or mundane - or Hitch and Ruby on a stakeout of some sort. Or both!

Some general stuff I like - heists, murder mysteries, rescue missions, characters playing games (e.g. Travelling Lemon, word games, throwing increasingly ridiculous hypotheticals at each other) because they're bored or similar,

Spectrum office shenanigans - stuff that happens between books, when Ruby and everybody else aren’t in mortal danger and that LB will most likely glare disapprovingly at.

On the angstier side of things, if you want to stick Ruby in even more mortal danger than usual I am ALL RIGHT WITH THAT. Rescue missions hell yeah.

AUs??? AUs!!! Modern!AU with Ruby doing extreme sports vlogs and occasionally failing to hide the fact that she's part of a secret spy agency. Is Blacker a hacker? Or a fantasy/medieval AU? Or Ruby Redfort, in space!

I feel like I’ll be delighted with whatever you create, tbh. I can’t think of many ways you could go wrong with it.

->

Fandom: Bernice Summerfield (Big Finish Audio)

Available:  Via the Big Finish website, and all of the boxsets from Epoch to New Frontiers are available for free on Spotify! Just look up Bernice Summerfield there.

Tvtropes page: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Franchise/BerniceSummerfield

Characters: *** Any from *** Bernice Summerfield, Third Doctor (Warner)

About the fandom: It’s like if Indiana Jones was shorter, actually did his job, and was a kickass woman who was also the Doctor’s companion at one point! Several points. And also she has a considerably larger family than Indiana Jones. Her spinoff kind of transcends a lot of forms of media - she’s in comics, print, animations, audio dramas, and one really hilariously terrible sort-of-fanfilm made by Lisa Bowerman and Sylvester McCoy when they were on some kind of cruise together. And it more or less transcends genre too. There’s been musical episodes right alongside the episode where someone very dear to her manipulates someone else very dear to her into killing (you guessed it) someone who is also very dear to her. It’s a wild ride. Anyway.

Prompts/suggestions:

The Warner!Doctor and Benny era of this series particularly delights me, because Benny and the Doctor just have such a lovely dynamic. There's a bit in the writer's guide for this era that mentions that the Warner!Doctor 'seems to be a grouch' but is actually 'a playful spirit who loves to have fun', and... I just love that? And there is literally no fic with them! Which is an absolute travesty.

I particularly like: heists, murder mysteries, rescue missions, adventures, playing around with genre and style.

It's Doctor Who/Bernice Summerfield!! Which means there's an infinite wealth of planets and times and worlds to explore, if you choose to set it in the regular universe. If, on the other hand, you choose to place it in the Unbound universe, slowly collapsing in on itself, there's probably a lot you can do with this too

The found family dynamic between them!! It's clear that, despite all the snarking and sniping, they really do adore each other quite a bit. If you'd lean into that, I'd be forever grateful.

Apologies for no real specific suggestions - mostly, I just would really like to see these two having fun together and being buds. But also? The angst is good too. Make me laugh/smile or make me hurt, I don't care which.

 ->

Fandom: Beanworld - Larry Marder

Available:  ...I have literally no idea where you can pick this up. I first read it at my local library. I think you can get copies at various book retailers?

Tvtropes page: Non-existent. I should rectify that.

Characters: *** Any from *** Professor Garbanzo, Mr Spook, Beanish, Heyoka (but honestly please throw in everybody in there. I love them all so much)

About the fandom: It's a weird, brilliant, complete unique experience of a comic book set in a world where the rules are very different to ours!

Prompts/suggestions:

I know that pretty much the entire point of Beanworld is that the characters are not human in the least, But I can't help but wonder what a human AU would be like!! Beanish as a struggling art student, the Hoi'Polloi as the local street gang with an unfortunate gambling habit, Heyoka as the weird chaotic neutral genderqueer acrobat who babysits occasionally and is always standing on their head. Or any other direction you want to take it in!! I adore seeing familiar characters in settings that they couldn't possibly find themselves in, in canon.

Bean shenanigans!! What sort of things do they get up to on their Goof-Off Days that we don't see on-screen?

Explore some of the friendships/relationships between the characters! I love some of those good good Bean interactions. For example (but not at all limited to):

Professor Garbanzo and Mr Spook - the ultimate BroTP. I particularly love how well they get along even when you wouldn’t expect them too - how Mr Spook isn’t really a scientific sort of guy but is really encouraging and helpful to her endeavors. It’s good and soft.

Mr Spook and the Chow Sol’jers! A dedicated fighting team that work together and protect each other every day. I’m now wondering what the Chow Sol’jer in-jokes are. They’ve gotta have some, right?

Beanish and Dreamishness - the greatest love story ever told! (If you do end up including this relationship in particular, I’d prefer it if it wasn’t the focus.) Additionally, I’d really love it if you could play around with the idea of love in the Big•Big•Picture being different to how we see it/perceive it in our world! I know it’s kind of vague, and it’s definitely not necessary, but I figured I might as well put it out there.

Heyoka and... everyone. Literally everyone. I love how she interacts with the Beans - how they’re kind of confused as to how she works, but accept her as one of them anyway - and how she interacts with people outside of the Beanworld. The sequence when she’s falling upwards and through the Inspiration Constellation, and how the Constellation is so pleasantly amused by and encouraging of her - it’s really nice. And her as the teacher to the Pod’ll’pool babies!! She’s such a cool character.

Other AUs or canon divergences! Can't think of anything specific off the top of my head, but I'm sure there's some stuff out there.

Literally anything that takes stuff from canon and extends upon it! Especially if you’re playing into the amazingly bizarre and extensive world of the Big•Big•Picture. Because the rules there are definitely not at all the same as they are for our world, and that delights me to no end. I have so many questions about it that I’m nearly certain aren’t going to be answered anytime soon. Like, where does the Thin Lake/Four Realities/Hoi-Polloi zone end?? There’s gotta be an end to it somewhere. Are there other islands like the Beanworld? 

->

Fandom: Rainbow Magic series - Daisy Meadows

Available: on your younger sister's bookshelf or at pretty much any library, bookstore or garage sale you'd care to visit.

Tvtropes page: 

Characters: *** Any from *** Rachel Walker, Kirsty Tate, Titania, Oberon (but feel free to throw in any of the million-plus other fairies that exist at your discretion)

About the fandom: Oh, jeez. What to say about this? It's such a bizarre interest of mine. The series has suffered from intense seasonal rot, with literally every book following the same formula. And there are hundreds of books. But it's such a large part of my childhood that it's hard to not feel some sort of affection for it. Plus, there's so many interesting things to explore!

Prompts/suggestions:

Feel free to throw some Kirsty/Rachel shipping in there, because we all know those two were lesbian as all hell. I'd prefer it not to be the focus, though!

Any exploration of the fact that the girls have been doing this for far longer than is strictly reasonable with no complaints, questions, or problems. They've been through like ten Christmas specials and don't appear to have aged a day since the beginning of the series. What's up with that, huh?

To that end - there's plenty of myths and legends about the rules that fae traditionally have. What about applying some of these to the RM fairies? Are Titania and Oberon the leaders of the Seelie Court, with Jack Frost as the Unseelie leader? Do they do the whole Changeling thing? Are Kirsty and Rachel Changelings?

(And bear with me for a second while I point you at a specific line from the very first book, because I think it's very good inspiration for the whole 'giving a fairy your name' thing:)

Kirsty wanted to ask the fairy so many things. But she didn't know where to start.

"Tell me your names, quickly," said the fairy. She fluttered up into the air again. "There's so much to be done, and we must get started right away."

Rachel wondered what the fairy meant. "I'm Rachel," she said.

"And I'm Kirsty," said Kirsty. "But who are you?"

"I'm the Red Rainbow Fairy - but you can call me Ruby," the fairy replied.

Very suspicious.

A Discord server I'm on has been throwing around the idea of the fairies (yes. All of them.) ending up as humans in the human world abruptly, and having to adjust to living life without magic - and dealing with the fact that somehow, their magical domains are functioning perfectly without them. Which is a very compelling idea. How do Rachel and Kirsty deal with their now-possibly-permanent, no-longer-magical neighbours? How are Titania and Oberon coping, now that they no longer have to rule a whole kingdom? What sort of the things do the fairies get up to? Where do they stay?

Aged-up Kirsty and Rachel get called upon to deal with new adult problems that are blooming in the fairy world. (Tiara The Tax Evasion Fairy, anyone?)

...or anything else.

->

Again, thank you for writing for me, and I hope you get something awesome in return from your own writer! Good luck!

[jangyeevns]

🔥🔥🔥 rant freely. go wild

send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion — ( accepting )

🔥 

let’s get controversial ! SGKLGFJFLGDS

gonna start off strong bc this will never Not bother me and i read someone else’s rant about it earlier. Stop Making Self-Inserts/Projecting Muses !!! i’ve seen my fair share of them over the years but some of y’all ( generalizing here as always, dw dgfklsd ) OUTDID yourselves in the last what, fourteen, fifteen months ? if they’re either a placeholder for how you view yourself/how you work through your insecurities/whatever or for what you WISH to be/what you wish to DO in relationships or something of the sort, Log Off. all it does is put more pressure on people Not to offend you, thus compromise their characterizations if you’re particularly sensitive over Any amount of teasing or critical, IN CHARACTER, discourse. now, obviously certain topics are exempt from this behaviour, but if you’re projecting your insecurities onto Most of your muses, are almost Too invested in how other muses perceive yours/get defensive when people hit back or respond in a certain way, or are making them like yourself for any other reason, you’re no longer portraying a muse and people can see that from a mile away. i know it sounds harsh, but cut it out, log off, take a walk and some much needed time to yourself before getting back into a group or your indie because it’s not healthy for you nor the muns you interact with

🔥 

branching off of that Slightly and to a topic i’ve ranted about Enough, but ( generalizing again ) some of y’all need to fucking STOP getting contrary over ships or pushing for them, BOTH preferably. you should also stop initiating flat, boring ships the Second you join a group bc of your thirst and your gay asian fetish. DSLJGFDK this is really just specific to a couple of muns i’ve encountered, but i cannot stomach any of this shit anymore. focusing on the rampant Hets in the rpc, some of them can’t accept their target giving anyone else their attention, thus they have to sabotage it in some way or they have to get pissy in general. and it’s fucking ridiculous, it’s Fictional Cock honey ! as for those ( a MINORITY, let me make that clear ) who portray mlm muses Specifically, y’all have to be the most pushy and disturbing people i’ve encountered ! during my time in the k*rp scene, i saw so many cringey and fetishized portrayals from girls and guys alike ( the guys are usually not at fault, they wanna show some representation ! they just get involved with, at times, questionable muns and muses when it comes to shipping ). the worst was, and still is, seeing borderline harassing shit ic that They think is charming and is gonna get them a ship or just some smut. but what bothers me most are the mlm muses who are portrayed as the same whiny asian twinks, sometimes still MINORS in their home country and getting involved with fcs in their mid-to-late twenties, and get outrageously sexualized by their muns — it makes my stomach churn when it’s a mlm mun doing all this too, and acting like a kboo even with their WHITE bottom muses. basically, every Gross element that comes with these pushy, possessive and petulant muns can fucking ROT already, stop validating them bc of representation, their fc, the mun’s hierarchal position in an rp ( such as an admin or an admin’s friend ) or my personal favourite angle, “ their sexually liberated, bold personality ! ” with a specific, lgbtq mun in mind

sidebar, i know it’s odd of me to go on a tangent mostly focused on mlm muses and at times, mlm muns, but it’s only because a lot of shit with m/m interactions that would not be acceptable towards m/f or f/f interactions have often gotten a pass and i don’t agree with it at All. idk if it’s certain sections of the community enabling it or what, but it has to stop because it doesn’t do mlm muns or muses any favours, it doesn’t do other lgbtq+ muns any favours either and in acting like these “ cool and bold and funny ” portrayals and muns are above the standards Set with other pairings is honestly vile. i wanna see mlm muses be given dimension in groups, i wanna see them flourish without being predominantly sexual beings or sexualized, and i wanna see them treat other muses ( and the muns behind them treat other muns ) in a rational fashion — not tossing out some weird blowjob insinuations at them out of left field and without talking about it, ESPECIALLY with minor muns. frankly, i want it for all muses, but godDAMN people, do right by your boys who like boys, they deserve so much better than they get

🔥

uhh, so i snapped a little Too Much in those first two that idk what else to say rn KJGDSFFG

pineapple on pizza isn’t the fucking end of the world ?? like, this constantly, imo heated more than chill debate is SO childish and for what, a topping you Don’t have to check the box on when ordering in if you and your pals don’t want it ? or better yet, one that doesn’t need to be on the Whole pizza, just a section for the pal who likes it. pineapple’s Good, sometimes it’s good with a decent meat topping because sweet + savoury ?? is Good. do i have it all the time On the pizza ? 90% of the time it’s on it, bc my mom likes hawaiian sometimes, i pick it off and eat it by itself because i like pineapple in itself, but will i bitch and bawl because it’s on there ? at 21 years old, you best believe i’m grown up enough not to care, much like i don’t care if there’s mushrooms on anything when i Despise them. because i pick them off and move on with my day or i ask for them Not to be on it. and yeah, i’ll reblog posts about controversial foods or toppings, but it’s before everyone takes So Much of the piss out of it that it comes off as bitter and snide. @ tumblr and twitter dot com, stop making lighthearted debates so Deep that people get uncomfy or get side eyed for it, that it doesn’t feel like a joke when it gets to a Point, and over fucking pizza toppings especially, jesus

[egobarri]

11 questions

I was tagged by the lovely @bitter-stella​ centuries ago to do this. Thank you for thinking of me ❤ (and sorry for taking so long! I love this kind of tags but It’s been busy days)

1.- If you could only pick one OC to play in every game, who would it be and why? I.e. You can only play as your Shepard for example, but that Shepard would be your protagonist in every future BioWare game/game that allows you to customize the protagonist.

Hmmm I would probably choose Ka’e Lavellan (the character from my icon). He is a neutral good and I think I could relate to either path he would take in the games ahead. And I really like his color palette (slightly tan skin, brown hair and amber eyes), his design in general terms fits any fictitious universe. So... yeah, I feel the urge now to draw him in a Mass Effect attire 😂

2.- What is one movie that you have watched recently that completely blew your expectations out of the water?

Perhaps Blade Runner 2049? I am a huge fan of the book, so the first movie was a bit disappointing to me. But I don’t know, although I had no expectations for this one, I truly enjoyed it. 

3.- Name an aspect of your personality that you think is your best.

Eh uh... this might be the hardest question of the bunch 😂 I am kind of a thinker, which I think leads to be open minded, to have wide tastes and, well, that sort of features. 

4.- What is one luxury you don’t think you could live without?

I am not sure what to consider a luxury. To have internet access is REALLY useful, but I think I could not live without a private modern bathroom 😂

5.- Without giving their name or a lot of specifics, describe your favourite romance in a BioWare game and explain why - focus more on how the romance made you feel and what resonated with you.

I’ll have to cheat with this one, because I don’t know how to describe the relationship without giving details about it. It’s the Anders x Hawke one, from Dragon Age 2. Their interaction and its evolution just feel very natural to me. At first is very pasionate, then its more domestic and tender, and lastly, Anders sacrifices their thing for his ideals. And Hawke forgive him. Their love story fits into the plot in a beautiful way in my opinion.

6.- Picture a paradise in your mind’s eye. What do you see? I.e. What does paradise look like to you?

Paradise like a place? a natural landscape? I’ve never thought about this before, but it has to be a beach in the north. I mean, not located in a warm weather, but rather in a rainy or foggy one, surronded by the wild.

7.- What did you want to be when you were a child? A teenager? An adult? How much has it changed, if at all?

Well, it has changed a lot... When I was a child I wanted to work with animals (although I still love them), later in my teenager years I wanted to be an artist of some kind... and now I am a scientist (neuropsychologist to be more specific) 😂 I don’t regret it, but I still wonder what could’ve I achieved if I had pursued my artistic goals.

8.- What was your very first fandom? Very first pairing/OTP?

Does the concept of fandom requires to interact with other people about it? If not, my first one was definitely Star Wars... But the first fandom I implicated myself on internet was Naruto, and my OTP was Sasuke x Naruto (much water has flowed under the bridge since then).

9.- What’s the last song you listened to? 

I Wanna Be Yours - The Arctic Monkeys

10.- Regardless of whether you write or draw, how would you describe your style? How do you perceive it?

Nevermind, this is the hardest question 😂 Seriously, it is not easy for me to think objectively or even in a positive way about my creations. Okay hmm I guess my art syle is bright and simple, I try to achieve a semi realistic result, but I always get this cute cartoony look. And regarding the writing, I tend to use dense descriptions, and to focus on the sensations the characters are feeling, instead of their thoughts or actions. I tried™  

11.- Why are you here? (I.e. On tumblr or in the fandom) What was the allure?

I have no friends in real life with my same obsessions, so I needed someone to talk with about them 😂But most of all, I thought it would be good to share my artwork and to contribute to the fandom with fanart, since I’ve always been a consumer but never a creator content. 

That’s all! this was very interesting to answer, thanks again for the tag!

PS: I am not tagging anyone this time, since I should be studying right now :’D

[essenceanddescent]

What Makes a “Mary Sue”?

Part 1

These posts will be mostly me externalizing an internal rant that has been ensuing in my mind for months now ... ಠ◡ಠ

I have wild and crazy aspirations of one day becoming an actual author.  I’d like to focus my writing on female protagonists and I’ve been struggling with this specific concept for a while now: Mary Sue.

I wanted to start writing, and I began with a fanfic to get my feet wet.  I spent months mulling it over in the depths of my mind, pulling on the plots strings to see what could fall out and last October I finally started to write.  I spent a good deal of time on the characterization for my main character because I wanted to avoid getting this label, but as I found, while writing it.  It is, quite simply, impossible to avoid it if you wish to write an intriguing and captivating female character.

It was only 2.5 weeks into my writing that I got the first reader calling my main protagonist a Mary Sue.  It was in a DM over Tumblr, from someone who enjoyed the fic quite a bit and claimed to be a feminist.  When I pressed her about it, there wasn’t much behind her claim other than my character was exceptional.

Me: Is she too perfect? (I worked hard on her flaws)

Them: No.  Not at all.  I mean, I really like her.

Me: Is she unrelatable then? (I worked hard on her personality)

Them: Actually, I find her super relatable.  I would totally date her too.  She’s my type.

Me: What makes her a Mary Sue then?

Them: Well ... she’s special.

Yes, that is the point of a protagonist, at least most of the time.  Unless you are simply writing a reactionary plot, they are usually exceptional in some way, and because of that, they drive the plot forward by the will of what makes them exceptional.  As we discussed it further, she conceded her argument but it still threw me for a loop.  I tried to be careful.  What had I done wrong?  What had I done to have the dastardly label applied to this character?  Those two dreaded words for any fic writer:  Mary Sue.

To be completely honest, at that point in time, I considered packing up my fic and going home.  A part of me didn’t wish to share my toys with the rest of the kids in the sandbox anymore and I felt ashamed of what I had created.  Sure, I had put a lot of effort into this thing but now all I felt was foolishness.  It was only after some research (which I do when something bothers me) that I started to see the destructive nature of what this label does to creative works.

“Mary Sue” is easily the most powerfully simple and dismissive critique that can be lobbed at any literary work featuring any female character these days. Just two very simple words can destroy hundreds of hours of characterization and plot, causing readers to disregard the story in its entirety.

“TL:DR It’s a Mary Sue story.”

I’d like to go into more detail on the destructive nature of this term, but I’ll focus that discussion in one of the next posts.  For this one, I’d like to analyze the criteria itself for What Makes a “Mary Sue” specifically, and what I perceive, makes it problematic for people to assume is the criteria for it.

I’ve spent countless hours reading articles, definitions, entries, and summaries of what makes a Mary Sue and putting it all together, I can determine simply that it is seen as any female character that possesses any traits which are seen as either unusual or extraordinary by that specific reader.  I know, I know ... that seems like a very, very broad definition, but bear with me for just a moment.  Let’s take a look at the variations closely.

But, what is the right “definition” really?

For the purposes of this first part, let’s start with TV Tropes.  It openly admits that there is no globally accepted definition for the term itself:

TV Tropes: “Mary Sue is a derogatory term primarily used in Fan Fic circles to describe a particular type of character ... [with]  traits usually [referencing] the character's perceived importance in the story, their physical design and an irrelevantly over-skilled or over-idealized nature.”

“Its original meaning mostly held that it was an Always Female Author Avatar, regardless of character role or perceived quality.”

This particular line is problematic for the usefulness of using this derogatory term to determine the actual viability of any created character:  “regardless of ... perceived quality.”

So, it doesn’t matter what the actual quality of the character is, if you can slap this label on her, then it’s fair game to dismiss the work?  ಠ_ಠ

Something I have to point out here:

“Often, the characters would get in a relationship with either Kirk or Spock, turn out to have a familial bond with a crew member, be a Half-Human Hybrid masquerading as a human, and die in a graceful, beautiful way to reinforce that the character was Too Good for This Sinful Earth.”

In the section above, I crossed out Spock for a reason, because ... it actually just described Spock himself and the end of Star Trek II.  But ... I digress.

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. ”

Let’s break this down further:

who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment

Cannot be an author insert and/or wish fulfillment.  Check.  Oh wait, I need to write someone that I have no way of relating to in any form or just avoid putting an exact duplicate of myself into it?  Will I have this label pinned on me for doing the former?  Maybe.  Likely in fact.   To some extent, all characters, even the male ones, are a form of author insert because authors are forced to put themselves into another’s shoes.  But I will come back to this point.

One thing to point out here is ... a lot of times, all the stories are anonymous.  How do you know when it is author insert or wish fulfillment?  Maybe you can assume, but you can’t know this for a fact unless you know the author personally.

I could go out on a limb and write something that is totally not a wish fulfillment for me and still get labeled as such because someone might perceive it as such.  It’s fiction.  Read it and let the reasons for its existence slide.  Every single piece of fiction is some type of wish-fulfillment.  Let it go.  You don’t know the author or what’s in their mind.  This criteria is subjective at best.

exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color

This one confuses me.  Does this just mean “beautiful”?  Or ... just different looking then?  Accepted societal beauty is actually the opposite of being unusual.  Beautiful women tend to all look quite the same.  Even exotic beauties can be lumped into very specific categories.

And, also, by whose standards?  The readers?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?  Or is this by the standards of the other characters in the story?  If you are going for a romantic sub-plot, then your character HAS TO BE perceived as attractive to at least one other character.

Pointing out something unusual about an appearance can be a valid plot/story point.  The fact that the character is jaw droppingly beautiful might be part of that characterization (btw, I despise overly beautiful characters.  If I hit a fic with a main character described as such, I just immediately close it).

The fact that the character has incredibly intriguing eyes might actually be a factor of the plot itself.  The character might be exotically beautiful to just one of the characters, the other heroes, in the story as well.  I don’t see this as being a reason to dismiss the viability of the character itself.

has a similarly cool and exotic name

This is just rubbish and absolutely laughable.  Millennials are naming their children all kinds of names now and the name that you give a character has no merit on its characterization.

exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting

Who defines implausibly in this case?  The reader?  Yes.  And I can’t control whether or not my reader will accept that women can be as smart as men.  I could have a reader who thinks that it’s not plausible for a woman to even have a free thought of her own.  If I’ve written that a character can do something in my world, then it’s plausible to me.

Possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting.  Ok.  So, here’s the thing.  A lot of times you need a reason to bring a character into a story and having them provide a much needed skill, even if it be rare, can ABSOLUTELY be a valid plot point, in fact it makes more sense than a useless character that just shows up and joins your existing crew for no reason.

I understand the nonexistent part of it ... unless you are writing a crossover or AU fic.  But still, this particular point is far too subjective to be considered a criteria.

lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing

Realistic?  ಠ_ಠ  Again, subjective unless you have established that it isn’t by way of plot.

Flaws are a difficult thing to grasp, especially for female characters.  Apparently, the flaw can’t be endearing, which is a little rough, because that is subjective from each other character’s perspective, is it not?  A bossy woman might be bitchy to one character, while she is strong to another.

And if this is from the reader’s perspective, this is even harder to avoid and it is very much dictated by the gender of your character. Daryl, from The Walking Dead, can be pig headed with rash opinions, but the moment that Andrea had an opinion about things, she was labeled a bitch.  Though they were both portrayed the same, Daryl’s quality is endearing while Andrea’s was most definitely not.

So, here we have the points that are somewhat agreed on.  A viable female character for today’s fiction must:

Not be relatable to the author (I’m supposed to write a relatable character but not relate to her myself)

Not a wish fulfillment ( Aren’t all stories a little bit of this?)

A generic look

A generic name

All generic skills

Un-endearing flaws (I equate this to making her unlikeable in many ways)

^ THAT.  ^ That right there is why Modern Female Characters either SUCK ASS or are labeled a Mary Sue.  I would rather read about extraordinary characters than someone who isn’t.  Extraordinary people exist in real life, yet we are supposed to tone down a woman’s skill set to make her more believable by some absurd set of subjective standards.

Do we worry about James Bond, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Tony Stark, Sherlock Holmes, Steve Rogers, Harry Potter, Jason Bourne, or Luke Skywalker, to name a few, being too special?

This page, in particular, is goddamn terrifying.  Do you see all of these … rules?!  As if, at one point in time, some terrible fic story was written and people just grabbed each of these points and labeled them ‘traits’.  Are you kidding me?  This is a creative art and using something like … heterochromia … is a trait of being a Mary Sue?  ಠ▃ಠ

This page does make the following statement, which I dig though: Even if a character has quite a number of the traits described below, Mary-Sueness can still be averted by a good enough explanation for why they're there.

We can’t promote using such subjective criteria to scrutinize a character.  But there are, of course, other criteria that puts a different spin on the label but I’ll hit those in the next post.