#it is also a place where there will be a multitude of 'hello it's so nice to finally meet you'

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Pardon the oozing sentimentality, but some of my "virtual" relationships over the years feel fated, insofar as orchestrated by God, and it's got me kind of misty-eyed today.

I met my writing group upwards of six years ago, and it was all by chance. Six years later, I have most of their addresses. We all watched the livestream of one of their graduations. I'm in another's wedding. Another may be going to the ren fest with me. We've done weekend meetups. We have a prayer request chat. We are real friends, honest friends, indelibly linked.

But the wild one is one friend we almost missed. They almost didn't join the group; a friend (we no longer have regular contact with) pulled them in. And they're a core member of the group now. BUT! I also see their artwork ALL THE TIME because several of my tumblr mutuals reblog it. Two completely different spheres, and they're somehow in both!

I've followed one of my newer mutuals for years because I love her artwork. I've shared her stuff with an "IRL" friend. I've picked up book recs and movie recs from her. And a year or so ago, one of the writing girls sent me her insta because it "looked like something I'd like" and I said "HEY I KNOW HER!"

This even happened with one of the writing gang who are on booktok. She posted a reel and a bit later my brother-in-law sent it to his wife my sister, and my sister said "you're not gonna believe this, but that's my and Phoebe's friend".

And it feels like fate. It's like watching someone tie up a boat, and each loop they toss out is one more link securing it to the dock. It's God working the threads and weaving us together, surely and truly.

I'm clearly on a hormone kick but like??? There is something breathtaking about seeing a username on a screen and going "hey, I know you. I know you."

And for all of the friends who remain a name and a funny icon on the screen, the "mutuals" and the kindred hearts, one day we'll be in Heaven and we'll look across that shining space and get to say "hey, I know you".

[baby-tini]

HELLO! I LOVE YOUR HCS OF MIKEY 🩷

may i request bonten! mikey with a darling that's chill? like he kidnaps her and she's like "oh, so you like me? should've said so." like she's totally okay with being kidnapped and being forced to stay at home

Stop, this is so me. I would be perfectly fine sitting in this mans big ass penthouse. Cooking and cleaning while he works.

-It would be 50/50 for him, he'd be quite pleased that you're so chill about it, but also.. a little concerned. Like, do you know who this man is? He's the biggest crime boss in Japan, he's responsible for a multitude of crimes, such as murder, drug trafficking, fraud and so on. But hey, if you're cool with it and you're not tryna escape or fight him, he doesn't mind. -He does appreciate you being so willing though. It makes him like you a lot more, like, you're indirectly telling him, he can't do wrong in your eyes. He just kidnapped you, took you away from everything. Your family, friends, all that and you don't give a fuck? You actually like or at the very least, are okay with your.... situation? Yeah, he bought the ring already and has his vows memorized. -He will shower you in gifts, buying you anything you want, all you have too do is ask nicely while giving him a little pout, and he's all yours. He has spent thousands on you in a day, while he obviously can't take you out, because of his... job. He'll let you order whatever you want from where ever you want, and trust me when I say, you won't even be able too put a dent in his wallet. -Your closet is filled to the brim with designer clothes and shoes, he also buys you the pretties lingerie and sleep wear. Lace, silk, satin and velvet, anything you want. He does however, expect you too give him a little show, modeling the pretty little clothes he buys, letting him fuck you in the silk slip-on dresses he buys you for bed. Although, if you do have a specific style that you prefer, such as, alternative, chic, artsy, preppy or vintage, he'll cater to it. -He does get a little annoyed at your teasing though, like yes, obviously he likes you. That's why he took you in the first place silly girl. If you tease him about it a lot, he'll just stare at you blankly, with those big, black eyes of his. He won't say anything or move, just stare and wait for you too quiet down, sometimes when he's in a good mood. He'll go along with your teasing, telling you that, you're just so pretty and that such beauty belongs in a lavish penthouse, covered in designer and behaving for him. -Because you're not allowed too leave, he'll make sure he buys or has someone install any of your interests. You like swimming? He'll have someone install an in-ground pool for you. You like writing or reading? He'll buy you any books you want and give you the newest computer. It will be heavily monitored though and he has rules set for it, including a time limit. You like doing make-up? You have a room dedicated to it, he bought you a big vanity with all the lavish skin-care and products you could want or need. Ranging from Dior foundation to Chanel face masks and YSL lipsticks. Because his girl only deserves the best after all. -He will let you do the face masks on him, but rarely. He does appreciate the time he spends with you during it and that he gets too relax. He won't admit that he genuinely enjoys though, the feeling of your soft hands rubbing the serrum into his skin. He also has a reputation too up-hold, so you better appreciate it while he lets it happen. He also just likes that you're taking care of him. Ooooh and if you run your hands through his hair while he relaxes? Bitch, he's putty in your hands. -Because you're so well-behaved, he rarely gets rough with you, if at all. He doesn't punish you, because, there's no need too and his rules aren't very strict. He lets you mostly do whatever you want, because as long as he can touch, kiss and fuck you whenever he wants with no complaints? Go ahead and do as you please, you definitely have more freedom acting like this then if you were too act like a brat. -While he is fine with you just chilling and watching tv, he does still expect you too pick up after yourself and keep your things nice and tidy. Because if you slack off or take advantage of him, or try anyway, all of those nice things and privileges will be gone in seconds. If you can't appreciate your freedom then you won't have any until you learned too act right.

-He likes when you sit in his lap while he does paperwork, looking so pretty while he runs his hands through your hair and letting him mark up your neck. He'll let you leave marks on him but only in places under his clothes. -Whenever he's not working, he likes too cuddle with you on the couch, with you in his arms, sitting in his lap while watching a movie. Or if you're cooking dinner for him, he'll be holding you from behind and if you ask about his day while he nuzzles into you, he just gets so soft, it sends shivers down his back, he gets butterflies. -He expects you too get his name tattooed on you, at some point. Not the Bonten tattoo because you don't belong to Bonten, you belong to Manjiro Sano. He will let you pick the place too get the tattoo though, but it's non-negotiable.

[kimarii-00]

Meant To Be (1)

Summary: Armando is captured by a gang in Colombia where he is sure he will meet his end. He isn’t sure what he’s done to upset these people in particular, but at this point, who hasn’t he upset? He waits for his inevitable demise to greet him, but he’s confused when all that comes to him are the four bland walls in the cell that he’s kept in. He’s even more confused when their leader comes to him, giving him an… apology?

Requested by: @joykai ! (sorry it took so long to write 😭)

Word count: 2.7k

Part 1/3 (?)

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AN: Hello… LMFAO, I have no idea why this took me so long to get out. At first I just had writers block, then I got a job, school started again, my laptop broke lol, and so much more… And also I was stuck on this for soo long trying to make connections between bad boys 3 and 4, and eventually I just ended up changing the request a little bit to fit the story better, I hope that’s okay!

Instead of the story starting off with bad boys 3, I just made it start off at the end of Bad Boys 4 to better fit the storyline I was going for.

This will probably be part 1 of 3 parts, but there could possibly be more parts depending on how much I want to expand this. The goal and the minimum is 3 though.

I also didn’t edit this very thoroughly so please let me know if there is anything I should change..

ALSO THANK YOU TO @yeahnohoneybye FOR HELPING ME WITH THE SPANISH TRANSLATIONS!! Such a big help tysm! It was a while ago but they helped me with the whole spanish section!

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When Armando was breaking his neck to do his mothers’ bidding, he knew that he had fucked with a lot of the wrong people. Gangs, police officers, and just downright dangerous people, and he knew for damn sure it would come back to bite him in the ass later down the line. Though that thought that used to be at the forefront of his mind slowly retreated to the backburner when he was relatively able to avoid confrontation with the people he may have pissed off in his past. Yes, he was technically on the run… But who really cares about technicalities?

The rescue mission that he was involved in to retrieve his fathers wife and the kid of the police captain he just so happened to have killed took a lot out of him. He knew that he was lucky to have made it out alive. Thanks to his father, he was able to escape on a boat and leave before authorities could get to him since he did illegally escape from prison, even if it was because he was being pursued and had people gunning for him.

He spent a lot of time thinking while he was in the water. He was a free man with the power to go damn near anywhere he wanted… Where would he go now? He didn’t exactly have a solid plan; afterall, he wasn’t expecting to be let off the hook like this. Eventually, he arrived at a place he knew he had connections in. He docked his boat and made his way to the larger house-boat that he knew contained an old ‘friend’ of his. The place was isolated and secured, for good reason. Both he and this ‘friend’ had been involved in some dangerous shit in the past.

He knocked on the door and it took a while for anyone to answer, but he knew someone was home. In time, he heard a multitude of locks being unlocked, and the door opened. “Armando?” The man said, “¿Qué haces aquí hombre?” (What are you doing here man?) The language hit like whiplash.

Armando had spent so much time with his father and other English speaking people, it’d been a while since he’d heard it.

“Necesito un favor.”(I need a favor) Armando said, quickly and to the point.

“Que? Espera, ¿no se supone que deberías estar en la cárcel?” (What? Wait, aren’t you supposed to be in jail?) The man questioned.

Armando sighed but nodded, “Sí, pero ya no. Sucedió alguna mierda; ¿Me ayudas? Necesito algunas cosas.” (Yeah but not anymore. Some shit happened; could you just hook me up? I need some stuff) He said.

The man nodded and stepped aside so Armando could come in. The place looked as dirty and unorganized as it's always been, but it had a homey feeling that came with it.

“Disculpa el desorden,” (Sorry for the mess) He laughed, “Algun dia me animare a limpiarlo, te lo juro.” (Someday I’ll motivate myself to clean it, I swear.)

Armando rolled his eyes playfully, knowing damn well this place would never be clean, “Sí, como tu digas” (Yeah, whatever you say).

Armando explained his situation to him, “Técnicamente estoy huyendo, pero ahora necesito una casa. En algún lugar remoto.” (I'm technically on the run, but right now I need a house. Somewhere remote.) “No importa dónde esté.” (Don’t care where it is)

“Mmmm, ¿una casa? Sí, seguramente tengo algo, pero no es tan remoto como te gustaría que fuera.” (Mmmm, a house? Yeah, I probably got something, but it’s not as remote as you’d like it to be.) He said with a smile, rubbing the back of his head, “Ya sabes lo que dicen: Esconderse a plena vista, ¿cierto?” (You know what they say, hiding in plain sight, right?)

Four months. Four months Armando had been living in Columbia. At first, it was hard to get used to. He lived in a small house in an even smaller neighborhood. It took him a while to wrap his mind around the fact that he was just a normal person now. He kept in contact with his father who’d informed him that he was keeping authorities off of his back, the concept of being on the run now foreign to him.

When he’d first moved in, he was wary of everyone and everything, thinking that just one slip up could cost him his new, peaceful life. After the first month went by without any incidents, he began to accept that he was now just a regular guy.

Everything was going great for him. Almost too great.

Armando had an odd feeling today. He didn’t know what it was, but it felt like there was a pit in his stomach ever since he left his house to go to the one convenience store he came to favor. He found himself looking behind his back on more than one occasion, but he chalked it up to him being paranoid. It would happen every so often, why would this time be any different?

“...Efectivo o tarjeta?” (Cash or card?) The woman at the counter said impatiently, and he realized he was zoned out. He gave the woman what he owed in cash, took his bags and left, but he just couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling he continued to harbor.

He walked back to his home, hyper aware of the amount of times he thought he’d heard footsteps following behind him, only to turn around and see nothing that could’ve caused the sound, the rustling of bushes that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand cautiously, the chills that he swore came over him every other minute. But everytime he would investigate these strange occurrences, there would be nothing that could possibly endanger him. Why was he so paranoid today in particular?

Looking back, he definitely had a good reason to be.

He was able to return home safely, but was confused when the pit in his stomach made no effort to remove itself. In fact, he felt it only deepened the further he went in the home.

He figured it was time to get some sleep. Maybe some shut eye would help the queasiness.

He’d made it to the door to his room before he realized that something was wrong, and that the stubborn feeling he was fostering for the past thirty minutes was not just a feeling. The door to his room was slightly cracked open.

He knew for a fact that it was not like that before he left.

Just as he came to this realization, he felt a presence behind him. But he didn’t get a chance to get a look at whatever, or rather, whoever was behind him before he felt a muscular arm wrap itself around his throat and squeeze, leaving him with little air, and hardly any room to fight. He clawed at the arm, and tried to use his own strength to tear the arm away from him and create a chance to escape, loosen the grip just a little, anything.

Before long, he felt black spots dancing around the edges of his vision, and for the first time in a long ass time, he felt helpless.

He was still fighting though, and this seemed to aggravate whoever was holding him, “Just sleep dammit!” A gravelly voice said, his grip somehow tightening even more than before.

“Allow me,” A honeyed voice said. Armando faintly heard the sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floor before a dark-skinned woman came into view. She had a deceiving smile on her face as she looked over him once, and her gaze settled onto the man who was still holding onto him, “Loosen up a bit, would you?”

A loud and dramatic sigh was heard and air began to miraculously flow back into his lungs, and he figured that this was his chance to escape.

He couldn’t even make a move before he felt a prick in the side of his neck, and liquid flowed into him. It made him feel tired easily, and he felt his bones beginning to relax. His eyes lidded, mouth numb, unable to say anything.

The woman in front of him, still smiling sweetly, pulled the needle from his neck. He felt himself slipping farther and farther away from consciousness. Before he could fully fade away, however, he was able to hear his two attackers' conversation as the man let him fall limp on the ground.

“(Name)’ll be happy, this dude owes her a fuck-ton…” The man muttered.

“You know she doesn’t like it when you call her by her name–”

“She’ll let me call her whatever I want when we get this asshole to her.”

“You’re insufferable, y’know that?”

“That’s not what you were saying last night–”

“Just grab him and let's go! God…”

The man chuckled at her reaction, clearly finding it amusing to see her flustered. Armando couldn’t keep himself awake for any longer, and promptly lost consciousness as the man leaned down to pick him up and throw him over his shoulder (rather roughly may he add).

His vision filled with black and his hearing faded to the serene sound of nothingness.

He was awoken by water as cold as what he imagined to be what the water in Antarctica would be like. It splashed onto his face and dripped down into his now damp clothes.

He frantically looked around the room, senses heightened in the unfamiliar place. All he found was the metal chair he himself was sitting in, and an old, dingy light hanging over him that flickered every now and then. He found his limbs to be bound by a tight rope that he could tell were not budging any time soon. HIs lips tightened as he realized his situation. Damn it.

“You’re finally awake, I was starting to think the little miss over there killed ya,” He gestured over to the dark-skinned woman who he hadn’t noticed lurking in the corner of the room. She shrugged and her lips curled into an innocent smile.

“I told you he’d be fine.” She said, nonchalantly. Armando didn’t say a word, contemplating in his mind different ways he could handle the situation. He couldn’t spot any windows or doors other than the one that was in front of him, but he knew there was no chance of getting out through there.

“What? Cat got your tongue? Pissed that you got caught? You know, it took an awfully long time to track you down.” The man said, sliding over his own chair and sitting on it backwards, letting his arms hang over the wooden back of it.

“The boss doesn’t want you dead just yet, to my surprise. If you play your cards right you might even get to live to see another day.”

“Unfortunately.” The muscle man sighed out dramatically. Armando still found himself staying quiet. He knew that, given his past working with his mother, the list of dangerous people he’d pissed off at some point might as well have been a book. These people in particular didn’t immediately ring any bells, but they did mention this ‘boss’ of theirs, so perhaps they’re the one he tipped off.

“You know what you’re here for so what’s the point in biting your tongue? Just fess up and pay up.” The woman said, pushing herself off of the wall and making her way to him. He held eye contact until she reached him and bent down so her eyes were on the same level as his were, “Is your pride really worth your life?”

Silence filled the room, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the burly man begin to stand, looking aggravated at his continuous silence. The woman held her hand up nonchalantly, gesturing to the man to sit back down and let her handle it.

He saw the reluctance but he eventually sat back down, but Armando could tell he was getting agitated. The woman focused her attention back on him. She took her pointer finger and gently placed it underneath his chin, lifting it slightly. She had her usual smile, but her eyes gave away her irritation. “Listen, you understand you can walk out of here if you just give us what we’re owed, correct? Our boss is being awfully generous. Don’t tell me you’re just going to throw away that generosity…”

He let her finish her sentence but he wasn’t hearing any of it. Whatever he owed these people wasn’t his problem anymore, and therefore, he decided to make sure that point was well received by his two kidnappers. He spat a glob of spit right between her eyebrows.

He’d never seen someone look so offended. The fake smile dropped instantly and was replaced by the meanest stank-face he’d ever experienced. Her partner damn near broke his wooden chair as he shot up from it, the chair clattering on the ground.

“I told (Name) this asshole wouldn’t cooperate,” The man yelled. Just as he was about to stomp his way over to a helpless Armando, his phone buzzed.

The man stopped in his tracks. When he took his phone out of his pocket, his eyes widened.

“Jax.” The man said simply into the phone. Was his name Jax, or was he speaking to a Jax?

Armando felt the burning gaze of the woman he spat at, but he favored listening to Jax’s (?) conversation rather than another staring contest with the woman he’d pissed off earlier.

“Right now? But… Y-yes… Yes ma’am… I understand… We’ll be there in five.” The man said, scratching the side of his head. After a few seconds, he stuffed the phone back into his pocket and turned back around to face Armando. “Looks like you get to live a bit longer. We’ve gotta bounce.” The last sentence was directed to his partner, who hadn’t said a word in the last five minutes.

She made sure to shoot one last disgusted look at him before following behind her partner and slamming the door behind her. He distinctly heard the lock for the door be secured into place before hearing them walk away. He let out a breath.

The darkness and silence were somewhat intimidating.

He didn’t know how long he’d been left alone. If he had to guess, the minimum amount of time would’ve been at least an hour or so.

As much as he wanted to make the most of it, there wasn’t much he could do. Of course, he could realistically break the wooden chair he was sitting in by slamming it into the ground, and enough force it would definitely crack. But what was he supposed to do afterward? The door was sealed tight, he still had his restraints on and he didn’t know how many people were guarding wherever he was being held at.

Damn.

He wasn’t left with his thoughts for too long though. The door in front of him creaked open much sooner than he thought it would.

He furrowed his eyebrows. A woman walked in slowly, closing the door behind her. It wasn’t the women from before though, and if he hadn’t been in the situation he was currently in, he’d have to admit that she was stunning.

He heard her take a deep breath before letting it out in a dramatic sigh. She walked over slowly, reaching for something in her pocket. Was she going to torture him for information? Shit…

Imagine his surprise when she pulled out a sleek switchblade, but instead of cutting him, she slipped behind him and swiftly cut the ropes binding his limbs together until he suddenly felt strength regaining in his wrists. He wiped his head around in confusion and caution. Is this a trap?

She looked like she was studying him before she let out another sigh, and muttered, “Damn idiots… The wrong fucking person…”

Wrong person?

The wrong damn person?

…

…

…

Low key not happy with the way this turned out since it took me damn near 2-3 moths to finally post it but I figured I should get something out there..

TAGLIST!

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[yuurei20]

I've noticed Epel keeps adding 'kana' to the end of his sentences. What does it mean?

Hello hello! Thank you so, so much for this question, I have always wanted to mention this.

“Kana” can be a multitude of things in English, such as “probably,” “I guess,” “I think,” “I wonder,” etc. A basic explanation would be, “a word used to express uncertainty,” but like most things when it comes to language, that is not the only thing it does.

A quick review of Epel: from his first day at NRC he has been under order from Vil to “speak more politely,” as he tends to use informal speech with his senpai.

As you point out, Epel often adds “kana” to what he is saying, and that is because one of the things that it can do is ‘soften’ something that you’re saying in order to make it sound less direct, and thus more polite.

Examples: Epel telling Kalim that his assumption is wrong, telling Vil that he disagrees with him, saying that his Phantom Bride look is weird, etc., these are all sentences that he is awkwardly gentling via “kana,” often after several ellipses or a comma, as though it is not a part of his normal speech pattern.

This gets into cultural differences: When Ace assumes that Epel is dedicated to a certain brand of apple juice, for example, an English-speaking Epel could probably respond, “That’s not actually the case!,” without sounding rude. But that could be interpreted as a little brusque in Japanese.

In order to soften the expression Epel adds “kana” at the end, which sounds more like, “That might not be the case,” “I’m not sure that is exactly what is going on,” etc., in English.

Even though he knows for 100% certainty that he is not actually dedicated to a certain brand of juice, he is still using “kana” in order to not sound too straightforward.

(screenshot from maggiesensei.com)

(This can and does cause issues when moving in between languages: a Japanese learner who only knows that “kana” means “I think” might not add it onto sentences where they are certain about something, and thus risk annoying their Japanese-speaking colleagues, for example. In contrast, an English learner may say “I think” too often, leading their English-speaking colleagues to wonder why they don’t seem to actually know anything. It’s all part of the joy of language and culture!)

While there are several words in Japanese that can be used to soften your phrasing, Epel seems to have latched onto “kana” in particular, possibly because it is an easy word to add on to the last part of what might otherwise be a rude sentence in an attempt to avoid a reprimand from Vil. 

Other times Epel will belatedly add “desu” onto his sentences, also in a bid to sound more polite than he is used to speaking. 

If you are a language learner I would not recommend using Epel as an example of when to use “kana,” as he will sometimes shoehorn it into places in an unnatural way (as a part of his character).

EN is doing its best to recreate Epel’s “kana” by including things like “kind of,” “not sure” and “maybe” in his dialogue, but as sounding uncertain doesn’t necessarily mean you sound polite in English, this may not be having the same effect. And I have no idea how they would go about recreating this habit of Epel’s in a way that can properly portray what is happening in English—it might just be one of those things that gets lost in translation :<

Bonus: The Japanese language has four different alphabets (kanji, katakana, hiragana, romaji), and katakana is the alphabet used for foreign loanwords. 

Whereas other characters who use honorifics have “-kun” and “-san” written in hiragana in their dialogue, Epel’s dialogue uses katakana. This is possibly meant to symbolize how using honorifics in these situations is foreign to him, and he is not used to it.

(When he does shift into using honorifics in hiragana, it is only when he is talking to people from his own village: people he is used to!)

[glorysbox]

Hi! Wanted to start off saying I love your writing so much! I had an idea that I’d love to see written by you, though I’m not sure if you do swf type stuff? (If not please totally ignore me!) And also not sure how detailed you prefer people to get, so this might be way too long for a fic lol. Either way, love your writing and hope you’re doing well!

So essentially Leon has a friend (afab) who has had a boyfriend for a while, and Leon begins to notice that she’s been staying home all the time, showing up less and less to hang out with their friend group, and giving excuses to not show up that’ve begun to repeat. Leon gets suspicious and confronts her when they’re alone for a minute, asking if her boyfriend is preventing her from hanging out with her friends and family. She confirms that’s the case, and explains that her boyfriend gets insanely suspicious about her interacting with anyone outside of him because, “Why would you ever need to talk to or be around anyone else? I should be enough for you. I should be your whole world.” And Leon, who has always had feelings for her but never acted on them is essentially like, “You know there are people who’d treat you better than that, right?”

leon x fem!reader

wc: 1.6k

tags: SFW YAYYYY! implied emotionally abusive relationship, hurt + comfort, leon is a cutie that cares about u a lot, dialogue heavy again

It's been a while since he's seen you.

So long, in fact, that Leon is starting to feel worried.

He never liked your boyfriend—couldn't stand the way the guy constantly talked down to you or the people around you. Leon never said anything, though. The guy made you "happy"—(in your own words)—and he would rather keep his tongue shut than threaten the friendship he has with you over this guy.

He thought he was making the right decision.

And yet, here he is, staring at the multitude of messages that he's been sending you over the past few weeks. Invitations to hang out get ignored. Questions about your well-being get ignored. Conversation starters get ignored. It's frustrating. But above being frustrating: it's nerve-wracking. Leon is worried. And he has been for weeks now... you're pulling away from him. And not just him; you're pulling away from everyone.

bestie: Hey. I'm worried about you, can we please talk? You've been distant for a while now. Did I do something wrong? [7:32]

bestie: Hello? Cmon. Dont ignore me [7:47]

You don't even read it.

It's at this point in time where Leon is starting to feel like he needs to do something. To say something. You were never like this before—and he's upset. Really upset. Which leads him to where he is now—fumbling with his phone as he stands outside of your apartment building. What does he even say? Does he call you—maybe text you? Will you even respond? Probably not. What if your boyfriend—the whole reason he wants to speak with you—is over your place?

Jesus, Leon. He thinks, stuffing his phone along with his hands into his jacket pockets. Come on. She needs you. Whatever happens happens.

Three knocks on your apartment break you out of your boyfriend-argument induced stupor. Your mind is foggy as you stumble from your bed—wiping your tears—to head to the door. This time, you don't even know what you've done wrong. You listen to your boyfriend faithfully. You've stopped talking to Leon, stopped hanging out with your friends, stopped messaging your family everyday—what else is there to do? You just want him to be happy.

boyfie: Do you even care about me? [7:26]

boyfie: i ask you to do the bare minimum shit and you never listen [7:26]

boyfie: Maybe we should just break up. i treat you like you're the only girl for me and all you do is whore yourself around [7:27]

He's told you so many times that he's the only one that'll ever love you the way he does. Explained that he is and should be your endgame—tells you that every good relationship needs it's compromise. He tells you that he's compromised so much to get nothing in return. And you believe it.

You'll have to figure out how to make this right—after you see who's at the door. With one final wipe of your tears with the back of your hand, you open your front door—maybe hoping to see your boyfriend, but...

"Hey, I... are you crying?" Leon's face is scrunched together, eyebrows drawn in and eyes squinting at the sight of your (admittedly pathetic, but adorable) display of sadness.

"No—I'm not. I was just..." You trail off, voice low and sad and whiny enough to make Leon's heart break into a million pieces. Guilt rushes over him in waves. He should've come sooner. You feel a firm hand squeezing the meat of your shoulder.

"Don't even lie... can I come in? We really, really need to talk. I—"

"No! No—you can't come in. Look, I'm sorry Leon, but..." You put your hands up defensively, creating distance between the both of you. Leon's heart breaks into a million more pieces. "That's not a good idea. You need to leave."

"Need to?" He sounds offended. "I'm not going anywhere. What I need to do is talk to you. About a bunch of things. It's just a talk!"

He pauses for a few moments.

"He won't get mad at us for just talking," Leon adds, in attempt to quell your obvious anxiety at just conversing with him. It's pretty much just as he thought; you never would avoid or ignore him on purpose. Your boyfriend told you to. You're just too sweet to realize that he's treating you like shit.

"Even if he doesn't... I don't want to risk it. I really don't want to upset him..." You avoid Leon's gaze. "Can you just... go away? I don't want to ruin my relationship anymore than I already have."

Leon's heart breaks into a trillion pieces.

"I'm... not going anywhere." Leon says slowly, taking a step closer to you. "Come on. He doesn't have to know. I'm worried about you. Everyone is."

"I don't want to lie about having you over. That would just be wrong." You pause. "And worried about what? I'm fine. Really."

Leon sighs. You watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose—watch as he looks around your apartment building. And then, you watch as he ducks under your arm to enter your apartment. He's already got the door shut behind himself before you can protest or say anything.

You open your mouth to speak, but—

"Just hear me out! Please. Come on. We've been best friends for years. Don't you care to hear about what I have to say?" He pauses, a pout forming on his face. You start to feel guilty for ghosting him. "Please. I'll be quick."

And you sigh in defeat, saying nothing. Which to him, is an invitation to speak.

"I... uh, okay, I know I said I wanted to speak. But I actually want you to talk to me instead. Talk to me about what's going on—" He reaches for you, putting a hand on your cheek. His thumb swipes away your tears. You don't pull away this time. "I need to know. I've been dying not knowing what's going on with you. At least give me the reason you ditched me."

"I... I'm sorry..." You mutter, eyes downcast as you avoid your best friend's intense gaze. "I should've talked to you about it, I'm sorry. It's just—he didn't want me talking to you, because..."

"Because?"

"Well—he said that you... uh, had a crush on me. And he didn't want me hanging out with you anymore because it's... cheating."

"What?! I don't—I..." He trails off, voice pitched a tad too high considering the fact that he's lying his ass off. Deflect, Leon. "Okay, whatever. What about our other friends? Your family? What's your reason for that?"

"H... he just said that you and—well, everyone doesn't understand our relationship. And that you guys just want to break us apart."

Damn right Leon doesn't understand your relationship with that douchebag. And damn right he wants you to break up with him. He doesn't verbalize any of this—not now, at least. He keeps a hand on your cheek, reveling in the feeling of your warm skin on his hand.

"And... why are you crying right now?" Leon's voice is soft as he speaks to you. He's trying his hardest to coax the truth out of you.

"Because..." You bite your lip, still looking away from Leon. The look on your face has his heart breaking into a quadrillion pieces. He could treat you so much better. "I made a mistake. And he won't tell me what I did... but I want to fix it. I really don't want to lose him..."

"You know... if he was a good boyfriend, he wouldn't not tell you what you did wrong." Leon's brows furrow together once more, replacing his softer expression. "He shouldn't want you to be upset. He should want you to be... happy. That's what couples should do."

Leon's doing a lot of talking for a guy who's never had a relationship before. He'd never admit that the reason is mostly because he only wants you.

"I know, but—"

"There's no buts. Come on. Don't you see? He's treating you like shit. I don't want to see you like..." He gestures to all of you. "This. Sad and lonely and desperate for this guy to treat you well. He's never going to treat you well."

He pauses.

"There's so many people out here. People that can treat you better. That care about you... like me, for example." Very subtle, Leon. He thinks, but thankfully... you don't seem to catch on. Or you don't comment on it if you do. He takes the opportunity, pulling you closer into him.

You don't pull away.

Making progress.

"We're best friends... I only want the best for you." You wrap your arms around his torso. Making more progress, he thinks. "I care about you more than you know. And I've been lonely without you."

You bury your face in his chest. It's comforting. It always has been. More progress.

"Everyone is worried about you. You need to... stop letting him string you along like this. He's taking advantage of you." You sniffle in his chest.

Maybe he's right, you think.

"Let's go back to the way things were before. Me. And you. And, uh... everyone else, yeah. And you being happy and smiling and having fun. I haven't seen you smile once since you started dating this guy." An exaggeration, but not all a lie. Now that you think about it, you aren't exactly happy. At all, really.

You're cracking.

"But..." You want to protest, to say anything, but the words die in your throat. You miss Leon. You miss your friends. You miss your family.

"No buts. Let's watch a movie. We can order pizza and stuff our faces. And you'll block that bastard and hang out with me every day again." You try to hold back the smile that threatens it's way on your face.

You hate to admit that this sounds like a good idea.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Hey, Love your artstyle a lot!! My friend got me to be brave and ask (English isn't my first language 🫠😶‍🌫️) How did you find your artstyle? How do you feel about your art? What do you want people to feel when they see your art??? Sorry for all the questions BUT I need to understand why your art feels so special to me 🥹 I really love your asl art! Thanks for seeing this post! Hope I'm not crossing any lines! Feel free to just skip the questions!

Hello! That makes me very happy to hear that you enjoy my artstyle! I love it too :)))

I found my artstyle little by little over many years. Every so often I find something in my style that I don’t like, or I find something that I enjoy in someone else’s style and I try out something different to fix or incorporate those ideas! And if I find I like how it turned out, then I continue the changes until I don’t like it anymore. Many trends in my art has come and gone and what’s left from all that is what I have now :)

At the moment my biggest inspirations are arcane’s style, hagushka’s, and sokt0pus.

I feel like im very proud of where i am with my art. I find that my style has become very consistent and when i look back at my art from a year ago, i think it doesnt look too much different than what i have now. Which for me, says that my style has found itself in a place where i havent noticed something i dont like about it in a while. And that makes me happy :)

I am also proud of how good i am at creating different face shapes. My style has come a long way to be able to make a multitude of faces look good in it and it makes me happy that i can draw anyone’s face fairly easily.

And finally i am proud of how three dimensional my art currently looks. It’s very difficult to achieve that, and ive still got a long way to go, but making art look 3d is something ive recently tried to work on and im proud with how far ive come on that front.

I dont have a set way i want people to feel when they look at my art, i dont think. Because of how many different tones i draw in, It would be inaccurate to say a blanket feeling. Some trending tones in my artwork though tend to by melancholy, joy, or sorrow.

Thanks for your lovely questions! Im glad you enjoy my art :))

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! I’ve been following you for a bit now, and all of your recommendations have been super cool and interesting! If you don’t mind me asking, do you have any recommendations for really long indie ttrpgs? One that could match the length of dnd or CoD books, I mean. The specifics don’t matter as much, I just really like sinking my teeth into long game books like that.

THEME: Long Indie Games

Hello friend! Fear not, I have a multitude of long indie games to recommend for you!

Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine, by Jenna Moran.

Length: 578 pages.

The Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG is the diceless RPG from Jenna Katerin Moran, author of the well-regarded Nobilis and an important contributor to Eos’ Weapons of the Gods and White Wolf’s Exalted RPG.

Chuubo’s is a special beast. I personally don’t know how one actually plays this game, but the book itself is fascinating to read. It has recognizable parts such as character skills, Health Levels, and XP, but I think I’d want to sit down with a physical copy to be able to properly read it and get a handle on how you play through a story. If you enjoy a challenge, or even just something enchanting and evocative, I’d recommend Chuubo’s.

Part-Time Gods, by Third Eye Games.

Length: 318 pages.

The gods of today are shadows of what the old gods possessed. Their power has been heavily diminished, and many choose to live a regular, mortal life, revealing themselves as gods only when absolutely necessary. The reason for this is twofold. First, fate doesn’t like it when the gods share their secrets with a mortal. Unless they are the god’s worshipper, terrible events and horrific accidents have a way of happening to the people closest to the god. Secondly, divine works attract creatures and monsters called Outsiders, created by the Source (after its capture) to destroy any god they encounter.

This is a game that’s on my TBR shelf - and it might stay there for a while, because this is another pretty lengthy book. I am very grateful for the index at the back of this book, because I think this would be pretty difficult to navigate. Part-Time Gods is set in the modern-day, but the premise behind your god-hood is very unique, so one of the first chapters is dedicated to telling you what exactly it means to be a part-time god, part-time taxpayer. The book also contains small pieces of prose set in the world, meant to give you a flavour of the genre and tone intended by the designer. I’m really interested in the concepts expressed in this game, and I hope I have enough brain space to read it in the future!

We Are All Mad Here, by Shanna Germain.

Length: 226 pages.

Jack climbing the beanstalk. The little mermaid finding her voice. Alice struggling with the madness of a place unruled by the laws of reality. The queen. The child. The woodsman. The knight. When you think about fairy tales, who do you become? Where does your imagination take you?

We Are All Mad Here is a tabletop game about fairytales and mental health, providing you with new options for the Cypher System while also creating a setting about visitors to a magical land called the Heartwood. In the fiction, only those who have had some kind of struggle that affects their mental health are able to travel to this magical land. Germain intends this to be a way to tell a narrative about mental health using allegory and metaphor. The Cypher system itself is pretty complex, and you probably won’t be able to play a game of We Are All Mad Here without the core rulebook, so it might be worth it to take a gander at the Cypher System Rulebook while you’re at it.

Coyote & Crow, by Connor Alexander.

Length: 484 pages.

More than 700 years ago, a massive disaster changed the course of history. The world was plunged into centuries of darkness, but the event also introduced the Adanadi — the Gift — a strange mark that appeared on all life. This mark would have an enduring impact on humanity. Centuries later, the Earth is healing. New, advanced nations have risen. Ancient legends stir.

Coyote & Crow is a pretty extensive and unique game, using pools of d12s pulled from your stats, as well as narrative beats such as character motivation, Gifts and Burdens to help give your character a personality. Because it introduces an alternate history and a drastically different future, the core book as a decent amount of lore to acquaint you with the city of Cahokia and the world that surrounds it.

This game has quite a bit of support out there, with adventures such as Stolen Heart, Laughter Lost & Found, and The Case of the Great Underwater Panther.

Impulse Drive, by Adrian Thoen.

Length: 242 pages.

Play a crew of misfits and scoundrels living a life of danger and adventure as they explore space and try to make their ship a home in a technicolor sea of stars. Fight dangerous organizations, investigate unnerving mysteries, and find trouble in a game that rewards you when your characters face their shortcomings. Grow your characters and ship with new gear and abilities as you discover and create the universe together, as a group.

For a PbtA game, Impulse Drive feels pretty substantial. It provides a quick primer on Powered by the Apocalypse games, and includes advice for the players as well as the GM. This might be because the game includes a lot of details about gear and vehicles, as this is a space game that cares what your party has on hand and what their ship can do. There’s also advice on changing the game, extra moves, and a roll table for mutations! If you’re looking to see how to play out a space adventure in a more narrative-focused system, you might want to check out this game!

The Shrike, by Alice the Candle.

Length: 162 pages.

The Shrike is a game about fantastical voyages aboard a skyship. It's inspired by Avery Alder's The Quiet Year, John Harper's Lady Blackbird, Italo Calvino, Ursula K. Le Guin, and utopian and dystopian fiction. It features four complete adventures (two multiplayer, two for solo play). 

This indie game is on the short side of this list, but it’s definitely long by indie standards. The author has provided 4 different adventures that you can read through, which will likely spark your imagination along the way. Interestingly, the voyages are placed in the first half of the book, while the information about Solo, Co-operative. and Guided Play embody the second half of the book. I’m not sure how I feel about this layout choice, but if you’re mostly looking for a book that you can read, flipping through the voyages might be more interesting to you than the rules of play.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Lancer, by Massif Press. 431 pages.

The Wildsea, by Felix Isaacs. 364 pages.

Exceptionals, by Sahoni. 253 pages.

Gubat Banwa, by makpatatag. 399 pages.

Monster Care Squad, by Sandy Pug Games. 176 pages.

[cyanidehog]

Hello! Could I request some yandere Silver the hedgehog headcanons? If not that’s okay, I totally understand. Have a good day!

BLOG'S 1ST request is for my favorite boy <333 thank you for kickstarting off my writing with this ! no spellchecking we die like (redacted)

⤷ “ i swear to you. as long as i’m by your side, you’ll never be harmed. ” [ ♡ 1.2k words -- SILVER + READER. ]

> first of all: worst hedgehog to have after you. he literally jumps through time. whether you are a civilian or an overpowered entity, you're screwed. not in a physical sense—he values your freedom and your dignity. it's just... you won't be able to avoid his advances. silver knows you better than you do yourself. after years of studying you, he'll have figured what makes you snap, what makes you melt, and the little intricacies that weave your past. then he'll drop himself back to a point in time where your relationship was still amicable and he'll sweep you up with a winner smile, using up every detail he soaked up in conversation about your person as a stepping stone.

> how you met is inconsequential. it could've been simple happenstance aided by your curiosity, or thanks to amy introducing you at an event. whatever the reason, you come to know of silver's plights and circumstances.

> silver latches onto you with a hunger because of your care and interest in his well-being. it's not that people aren't welcoming, or haven't been kind to him and blaze, of course not. there's been warmth aplenty in sonic's timeline. what sets you apart are the extra lengths you go to for his accommodation in a world alien to him and the love you display in different gestures: cooking him a sprawling dinner (a banquet of cultures, really!) or tidying up a place for him to crash at if need be; spending hours explaining history and the current state of affairs to a being completely removed from the context of modern society and common knowledge; finding time in your schedule to go places together and make albums of memories... the list could go on. you really tried your best for your friend - silver who'd never seen a tree or a valley or a flower... how could you not?

> you won't ever have fights with him. it's surreal and fantastical. he always, always has a hand in guiding you to a pleasant time. attentive and sweet and teasing, silver knows how to rile you up into feverish delight and how to soothe any nerves and doubts of yours. it's slightly unfair, actually, because at times you wish you could have the same tact and coolness he displays. whenever you express the want to make him happy he gets touchier and more joyful than usual, so you count that as a little win of yours. it is nice to brighten the day of someone who treats you fondly. and the tiny, furiously wagging tail is an endearing sight.

> your like or dislike for physical touch will define how he starts showing affection to you. if you're fine with it, silver won't hesitate to caress your back or shoulder, will lock arms with you on walks, and say goodbye with a peck to your temple. warm and strong hugs will be commonplace. you'll find yourself encased in embraces far too tender and embarrassing to remain cool-headed. and the average distance between you two will shrink every week. slowly but surely.

> if you are averse to it, he'll do his best to keep his hands to himself… though if you fall asleep in his vicinity, he'll slide a hand or two through your face and play a little with your features. it will be innocent enough to sate his need for your warmth. for a while. he'll get into the habit of playing with your fingers or tugging your clothes for attention. might develop a fondness for spaces full of people, if only to feel you leaning on him thanks to the moving multitudes. he'll also steal trinkets or inconspicuous articles of clothing that belong to you. he won't realize it, but not having your touch will starve him terribly, and he'll try to have his fill in other ways.

> you call him silvie and he's about to bust an aneurysm. his face catches on fire to the point he thinks it might be a heatstroke, and the real possibility of him fainting grows exponentially. he gives you a very personal nickname. some inside joke between the two of you. will whisper it only when you are both alone.

> he's devoted? dedicated? invested? in your friendships and emotional health. scratch that. like rotisserie chicken, his brain rotates worries about your daily life and physical and mental health to the point of burning itself to a crisp. he fears not having control over your joys. he gets literally sick ruminating on whether or not you are getting your due sleep, your due rewards, or your deserved love from those around you. he'll be a smidge too sharp on picking up changes in your mood and mentions of acquaintances and buddies and family. he probably has a journal with graphical maps on your relationships and other miscellanea. has filled up the margins with ideas on how to cheer you up and keep everything in check. whatever that means, or entails.

> HAHA if you get sick? if you get sick you'll sooner perish from silver's overwhelming presence by your side than from your illness. it's here that his obsession bleeds through enough to be alerted by. he gets super fussy over who's coming over and what you're eating. feels like it's his duty to schedule your time indoors and outdoors, and to make several lists of activities and meals and exercises for your speedy recovery. will have restocked your pantry and fridge with your favorite snacks and fruits before you know it (how did you know this is my fave, silvie? to which he replies: oh - isn't this what besties are for?) and areas such as the bathroom or your kitchen will be cleaned thrice as fervently. he's going to be around so often that you'll stumble across his toothbrush or his towel neatly organized along with your stuff. and yes he will give a subtle nudge towards the idea of being roomies, and having sleepovers, and movie nights, and so on. he won't be moving his stuff out even after you recover.

> anyway - silver is a protective, obsessive, manipulative and insidious yandere. your needs will most certainly be met when he's around and he'll try to elevate you into a lil pedestal while trying to improve your lifestyle in ways he thinks are the best. you won't have to worry about threats (eggman's or others') because he'll make sure you live in a peaceful and beautiful world. if he ever has to travel to accomplish this he'll make sure to return with a plethora of gifts and stories to share. but he'll worm and dig and root his way through your barriers and reservations until you rely on him, to some degree or other. he'll be... soft and good for you.

> and... you'll never have to know about all the screw ups in a different timeline. if silver has committed a chain of overlapping atrocities trying to monopolize your affection, how would you ever find out? you'll never know the depravities he has executed on others, nor the kind of abnormality he is a slave to. he'll always be just silver to you.

> so please, please, please. don't look at anybody else with tender love in your eyes. don't break his heart and make him crawl on his knees. don't make him screw the world over for a few crumbs of your time, and everything will be just perfect.

[la-pheacienne]

I will never understand people insisting that it was Jaime's fault Elia and the children died and that he didn't do his job. I don't understand why people cannot acknowledge that the multitude and diversity of factors working simultaneously and opposite to each other is precisely what creates the tragedy of the event(s), these factors being slowly morphed into a mechanism functining on its own accord, beyond any power individual decisions could have. Every single individual in this tragedy (the sack and the rebellion in general) had entirely different motivations and aspirations, and no individual had the full picture at any occasion whatsoever, and this is precisely because of the broader mechanism that was in motion that I mentioned above. And there lies the whole point, the concept of not knowing, not being able to know in advance. The idea of actions, choices, decisions having unexpected consequences that a character could not be able to imagine in advance. Things could have been different if at any point any of the individuals implicated in this event(s) knew the whole picture, or at worst, if they were more careful, more diligent, if they had made a better assessment of the situation at hand. I don't believe what happened was technically inevitable of course. It could have been avoided, which is something that amplifies the tragedy. Of course the individual decisions of any of the factors involved shaped the result. But we need to take into account all these parameters that were at play leading to each and every decision, prior to the decision itself, in order to avoid a bad faith reading of the text. We know everything that happened. The individuals did not know what would happen prior to making the decisions they made.

Rhaegar running away with Lyanna seems suspicious in general and there is definitely a lot of info missing there (which has been confirmed by grrm, meaning there was probably a reason they run away together - and i'm NOT talking about the braindead fanon theory of rhaegar collecting dragon heads like pokemons). Aside from that big hole of info we don't have that would give a solid context for this otherwise pretty inexplicable action, R and L could not have expected in advance that the events would play out in the way they did, they could not know in advance that someone (Baelish?) would spread the news of a literal kidnapping, they could not know in advance what Brandon would do, what Aerys would do, and so forth, and we don't even know when exactly they found out that all these things happened since they were isolated. They for sure could absolutely not know that Tywin, who didn't even take part in the rebellion, would eventually think it would be a great idea to randomnly order the rape and murder of Elia and the murder of the children. Nobody could ever imagine that in their right minds, yes, not-even-jaime-hello, which is precisely why this is an act of TREASON (and treason is an understatement), which is precisely why that act has such an impact and such an aura of horror and shock surrounding it, because of how unexpected and inconceivable it was, and also, how unneccessary it was, at a moment where the war was already won.

The power Rhaegar had in changing these events in any way shape or form was minimal to none, faced with the mad king that could go off the rails at any moment, the treason, the unprecedented cruelty of his enemies that were supposed to be allies, and more than that, the general mechanism already in motion leading to this tragic outcome.

Which leads me to Jaime. Jaime feels guilty for what happeend to Elia and her children, of course he does. He was there, in KL, he was sitting on the iron throne (i think that's when it happened) while the events took place and he didn't prevent them. I would also feel guilty if I were him. Who wouldn't? He was there. If he had thought this through, if he was more diligent, smarter, quicker idk, more perceptive maybe he would have figured this out sooner, maybe he would have done something, maybe he would have been able to save them. That's undoubtedly what he tells himself. Rhaegar would undoubtedly feel extreme guilt if he was alive after the sack of KL (which is a mere hypothesis since the sack of KL wouldn't have taken place had he been alive). Hell, even Ned feelts guilty for what happened to Elia and her children. That doesn't mean these people (i'm talking mainly about R and J) are actually responsible for what happened. That it is their fault that it happened. That they willingly wanted it to happen, or expected it to happen and didn't care, or let it happen in Jaime's case. Jaime's guilt stems from an error of judgement at worst, the fact that had he known every single parameter at play, had he imagined the exact motivations and intentions of a multitude of people and how far they were willing to go, had he expected what would happen in detail, he would have acted differently and maybe, maybe the result would have been different. That's not even certain, given, again, the multitude of factors at play that were beyond Jaime's power. But Jaime of course cannot help but think about the what if. The result could have been different had Jaime acted differently but Jaime acted according to the specific situation he had at hand, according to the specific problem that he had to face. He did what he thought was right in that precise moment. He didn't and couldn't possibly know what was going on outside from his sphere and if he did, we do not know for sure that he could have actually prevented the worst from happenning.

And I'm being exceptionally strict here by attributing an error of judgement to Jaime because I could have just said he was entirely innocent for what happened to Elia and the children, and it wouldn't be false. Again, error of judgement doesn't equal responsibility for what happened, it doesn't equal "moral flaw". An error of judgement does not give the reader a reason to morally judge a character. It is an entirely different thing.

I got this from Britannica :

I don't get how people can be so dense when reading anything related to the sack of KL and/or Robert's Rebellion in general. "Jaime didn't do his job", "Rhaegar led Elia and their children to their deaths" like, can you actually read? I was unnecessarily thorough here for something that is not all that complicated. It is pretty straightforward actually. It's sad that people do not get it. Like, I see BNFs being all deep and analytical about Jaime's moral struggles and dilemmas and overall tragedy and how he was in a situation that exceeded him and then they're like "rhaegar is the reason elia and the children died". From the other side I see people saying that Rhaegar couldn't have known what would happen and then they're like "Jaime didn't do his job!!!", guys. Guys. I'm begging you. I IMPLORE YOU : correcting a mischaracterization (Rhaegar was stupid/selfish for leaving """""all that responsibility""""" to Jaime) with another mischaracterization (Jaime "didn't do his job" because he's a moral coward) is not the way to go, it is done in bad faith, it erases the entire point of Robert's Rebellion along with a bunch of very important themes in asoiaf (the impossibility of choice, the fact that moral codes are actually a construct and don't always apply/sometimes contradict, and the feeling of powerlessness of an individual when faced with a monstrous mechanism, a system that is beyond their control).

[druidbottles]

Birdsong

Legend knows that Marin is gone. He knows he will never see her again. But sometimes he has moments where he can still feel her around. And maybe that's enough for now.

Hello! This is my first time writing something for Linked Universe!

I am very new to Legend of Zelda as a whole, but I have been loving what I've experienced so far. I'm almost done with Link's Awakening (I watched the Game Grumps play the Switch remake a while back, but I'm finally playing the Gameboy Colour version for myself!) and I love Marin so much... I completely understand why Legend would have trauma about her loss.

I know that the ending of Link's Awakening at least heavily implies that Marin's spirit became a seagull, so this story can either be read as existing under the interpretation that she didn't, or that Marin's spirit lingers in other places as well, watching over her beloved Link. I really like the second option.

You can also read this over on AO3!

Legend knew he could never see her again.

She was gone, and he wasn’t stupid enough to hopelessly believe she could ever come back, but that didn’t change that there were moments when it felt like she was still around.

It was early morning, and the group was already moving, making their way through the dense forest despite the occasional yawns that echoed through the air from party members who might not have gotten enough sleep the night before. Every so often, someone would say something, and someone would respond, but it never led to a conversation. It was far too early for conversations.

The only sounds surrounding them were the calls and chirps of birds greeting the morning. It made walking through the forest while tired and still stiff from sleep feel actually somewhat peaceful.

And then the song started.

The sound of a bird gently singing, like a beautiful voice floating between the trees, making the peaceful atmosphere feel even more soft and relaxing.

It was Marin’s song.

Legend stopped dead in his tracks, unable to move for a moment. All he could do was listen to the bird singing, feeling a multitude of emotions rush through him. The others immediately noticed his sudden pause, and it was Sky who turned to cast a questioning and worried glance at him. “Is everything alright?”

It took a moment for him to be able to respond, but eventually Legend was able to nod, his voice coming out a bit shaky and unsure. “Yeah… Something just came over me. I’m okay. Let’s keep going.”

The group seemed hesitant, but continued to move, and Legend walked with them while continuing to listen to the birdsong, feeling his lips turn up into a small smile. That beautiful song that he remembered her singing so vividly, now being performed again by a twittering bird.

Legend knew he could never see her again. He knew she was gone, and that she was never coming back no matter how much he hoped she would someday.

But sometimes the world was kind enough to grant him a moment where he wondered if she still existed somehow, even if he would never be able to speak to her again or tell her how much he still cared for her. Her spirit still lingered, in the songs sung by birds, and the beauty of the nature that always surrounded him. Even in a Hyrule other than his own, that spirit remained.

And that thought was enough to give him some comfort.

[desultory-suggestions]

Hi, I don't know why I've come to this corner of the internet but I'm desperate so thought to leave an ask... anything on the situation when you're so far into being depressed (and chronically ill on top of that) that your brain just wants to destroy you until the end and self sabotage and you know you should fight against it but have no strength & don't know where to even start and seek help, I just want it to be over, I don't want it to hurt anymore, I don't want to watch my friends and family worry because of me, logically some part of my brain knows I should fight back but literally can't even be bothered to try to get better and it's such a mess and ugh

Hello, dear. This is absolutely the right place to come, and I am so glad that you did. Fighting depression is a term that implies a lot of strength and confidence. In reality, recovering from depression is a combination of incremental changes and occasional leaps. In my experience, you gain momentum in recovery. However, the beginning feels torturous! It is so hard to see the progress we are making.

So how does it start? Finding a reason can be important, but it's also important to know you don't need one. If you want to you can just do it because. Often when I am struggling with food, anxiety, guilt my affirmation is simply "I can do whatever I want forever." It's silly, and it works. There are also, a multitude of reasons. You said a few, and here are some:

For your family and friends

For your pet(s) or other creatures

To see a movie/show/game that will be released, or to finish one

To care for a plant

To see what's possible if you do

For your dreams, even if they feel impossible. Why not try?

When it comes to action, there are a few options. You said you don't know where to start, and that is totally normal. Here are some actions that I qualify as leaps:

Make an appointment for therapy, even if you don't see the point.

Speak to your doctor about medication options, and give them a try.

Speak to close friends and family candidly about how you are feeling. It can be a letter, text, in person conversation, phone call, etc. Tell them what you are dealing with, and allow them to offer support.

These leaps can take time to build up to, and after completing one (even just making the appointment) you may be exhausted. That is okay! They are leaps, and you will need rest. Leaps are also often farther apart, whether days or weeks. Incremental change is part of how we recover from leaps. Here are some smaller options that can be utilized:

Gradually put together items and activities of comfort. These can serve as a self care kit for bad days. Items make include blankets, candy/snacks, journals, stim toys, art, etc. Activities can include a playlist, a journaling prompt, a small game, a list of favorite movies. You can intentionally make this a kit, or keep a list of these items on paper to remind you that they're there.

If we are going to struggle, we can at least try to make the space where we are comforting. Consider your ideals for your room, and your needs. What would be easier? What would be comforting? I put a side table in my room with my toothbrush so I would use it. I also covered my walls in cheap colorful posters that made me happy. It gradually became a safe haven, not a coffin.

Try to do small activities that benefit you. Go for a walk, or just go sit outside. Opening a window is enough. Text a friend even if you can't go out on the town. Sketch, paint, doodle. You don't need inspiration, fill a page with triangles and lines and explore the texture of the activity.

Change how you take care of yourself. Take dishes to the kitchen, even if you can't wash them. Use body wipes to clean yourself up. Keep those mini toothbrushes in your bag.

This point has become diluted by TikTok nonsense, but I'm serious when I encourage romanticizing your life. I mean finding the beauty in it. Little things can go a big way here. Thinking about the beauty of eating your boxed mac and cheese, collecting leaves you find pretty, stopping to truly admire your surroundings. Your life is beautiful, depression hides this but does not erase it.

This is a long list, but not nearly everything. This is also a lot of actions, and it is okay to just need to commiserate. It is just important to know when it is time to brush yourself of and start inching forward. I felt the way you describes for a long time, and I thought I would never recover. Many years down the line I know now I was so wrong. Remember, you can do whatever you want forever, so right now give getting better a go. In the meantime I am always happy to offer support resources. You are loved, and you have a beautiful and joyful life ahead of you.

Evan

[blues824]

Hello, there. May I have Obey Me brothers with a sporty tomboy reader who's very skilled and baking and making confectionery (sweets, candies, etc)?

Mammon’s scenario has reader dressing up in a feminine way as a prank, but no gender-specific pronouns are used.

Lucifer

He’s glad that you found something harmless to do in your free time, and will always make sure that you stay hydrated while you’re at practice for whatever sport you want to compete in. He shows his support by clearing his schedule to walk you to and from practice, and to be there at every game or competition you have.

The eldest brother honestly doesn’t mind you being a tomboy. As long as you don’t partake in his brothers’ shenanigans, he doesn’t care! You just need to have manners and act responsibly as well as respectfully.

As for the baking part, I see him as someone who prefers savory foods. However, that does not mean that he doesn’t get a slight craving for something sweet every now and again. He appreciates it whenever you bake something for the HoL, better yet when you bake something only for him to enjoy. It makes him feel appreciated.

Mammon

He would probably try to show off his nonexistent athletic abilities because he wanted to impress you, so he tried to challenge you to a race. You, however, beat him so badly that this man was nearly about to cry from embarrassment. However, since the terms were you would be able to get anything you wanted if you won, you asked him on a date. You lifted his spirits with one question.

He also doesn’t mind you being a tomboy. However, this is one way to prank him. If you have been with him for a while, and one day you decide to dress as completely feminine, it will throw him off as he asks who you’re dressing up for. This got him concerned, until you tell him it’s a prank.

This dude probably tries to act like he doesn’t have a secret sweet tooth, but he’s also the type to act emotionally hurt when he isn’t the taste tester or the person that you give the spoon to so that he could lick off the batter. If you bake something specifically for him, he would try his hardest not to blush or be flustered, but it never works.

Leviathan

He’s the type to set up cameras and everything to get good shots of you running, jumping, exercising, etc. and put the footage to some epic music and upload it to his Devilgram. He makes your public image look good, and the edits go viral.

I think you remind him of a bunch of anime characters by being a tomboy. You weren’t like the character from I Saw My Mom Get Eaten By a Titan in the First Episode (referring to Mikasa), but more like the main character from I Broke A Vase and Now I Am A Member of a Host Club (referring to Haruhi).

He loves to help you in the kitchen whenever you are baking something, especially if you are making an anime-themed dessert. As he’s whisking the wet ingredients, he would totally be geeking out about the plot and the characters. You took this as an opportunity to take some whipped cream on your thumb and smear it on his nose. He was taken by surprise and just froze up.

Satan 

He doesn’t really enjoy athletic activities aside from walking from place to place, but he will be there to cheer you on for anything. If he doesn’t understand a sport that you enjoy, he will conduct research and ask questions to you and your teammates.

None of the brothers really care that you’re a tomboy, as long as you aren’t rowdy. Same goes for Satan. In many different books, there have been cases where characters dress up in a more masculine way, and for a multitude of reasons. Take Jo from Little Women. She was a tomboy just as you are.

He enjoys a sweet treat every now and again, and he loves to research different recipes for you to try and make. He likes to help you in the kitchen since it allows the two of you to get closer to one another. Slow dancing in the kitchen is a must.

Asmodeus

I feel like he works out to stay in shape, but he doesn’t do any other athletic activities. He will be there to cheer you on, though. He will be the loudest person in the bleachers, and you won’t be able to hear anyone else because this guy is straining his vocal chords.

He is the more feminine one in the relationship, so yeah. He will help you style your clothing in a more masculine way, and in a way that matches his own outfit because he thinks matching with your significant other is absolutely adorable.

He definitely loves sweets but always tries to refrain himself so that he eats healthier, but how could he resist when his beloved Y/N made those treats just for him?? Especially if you make them look cute or pretty. Most of his Devilgram contains pictures of food you made for him.

Beelzebub

He understands the struggles and victories of both working out and playing a sport. You both are cheering each other on. If you both have a game on the same day, then you will FaceTime each other for a few minutes while you’re both on the bench.

This man doesn’t care if you’re a tomboy. Again, as long as you aren’t too rowdy and don’t eat his snacks, then he is a-okay with it. Here is another boy you can prank in the same way as Mammon’s scenario, but he’ll just ignore it until you wear something similar the next day.

If you decide to make this guy sweets and treats, you will become his favorite person in the entirety of the three realms. However, you need to bake a lot because he’s the Avatar of Gluttony, and he’s always hungry. Don’t even ask him to help you because he will end up eating the ingredients.

Belphegor

If you think that this man has any athletic ability at all, you are sorely mistaken. He’s the Avatar of Sloth, so there is no way that he is exercising with you. Instead, he will be there to cheer you on (think of that episode where he’s cheering on Beel when he selects Fists in Levi’s video game).

He also doesn’t care if you’re a tomboy. Just please take a nap with him because you are comfy and smell nice. You don’t even have to sleep, just let him sleep on you. He’s a sleepy boi who needs his Y/N to sleep, and how dare you deprive him of that??

When you bake treats for him, his heart flutters but he won’t admit it. Especially if you don’t allow any of the other brothers a bite of whatever it is because that means it’s just for him. He would totally do the thing where he smears whipped cream on your cheek and licks it off to make you flustered.

[j-nor]

What’s the average lifespan of a clown? How quickly do they mature?

Also I still haven’t gotten my new clown girl yet >:(( I’ve been waiting patiently lol

Hello! Thank you for the question, clowns lifespans vary drastically from breed to breed and their rate of maturity is still under some debate from professionals, but regarding teacup-circus breeds I can offer my knowledge.

Teacups are often assumed to be short term commitments, much like how people see hamsters compared to dogs, but this is false. Teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds of clown, (scare-clowns, jesters, ect, are known to commonly age into their late 110’s) but they can easily live as long as a human, their average life-span is around 75-85. It’s not certain exactly why this is, there are a multitude of reasons, but even though teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds, they are still lifelong commitments and most importantly lifelong friends.

As for how teacups mature, it can depend a lot on what their crossed with, so general statements are not hard and fast rules, rather a rough estimate for the majority of teacups. They are typically considered chucklets (clownlets, chuckles, baby clowns, all common names) for the first 1-2 years of their life. This stage is where the most rapid development takes place.

After that they enter the juvenile stage and continue slowly mature until they reach adulthood. Some teacups grow slightly in size during the juvenile stage, some stay the size they reached during their chucklet-hood. That’s one difference between teacups and other breeds, their juvenile stage doesn’t contain major physical development, teacups spend their juvenile stage developing their brains and immune systems. Porcelain teacups develop a hardened shell when they’re chucklets and slowly build up more and more layers over the course of their juvenile stage. This is why younger porcelains heal better than older porcelains.

Once they’ve been through their juvenile stage they reach adulthood and are full-fledged clowns. Like humans, their development doesn’t necessarily come to a complete halt, but all their major changes have been completed and they’ve developed a core personality. Just like us, they will still learn and grow through the course of their whole lives, simply less in the sense of physical growth and more in the sense of personal growth.

During their later years, 50-70, they begin to slow down and become elder clowns. Sometimes they develop respiratory problems and joint issues, which can be managed easily with the help of a vet. Towards the very end of their lives, many experience certain pains because of age-related conditions and require medication. Some people tend to be scared of medicating their teacups because teacups are so small and seem as though their systems might be overwhelmed by medication, but keeping an elderly clown from pain management is needlessly cruel and with the help of a vet teacups will be able to enjoy their last years without trouble.

I won’t go into huge detail about end-of life care for a teacup because that’s a whole other topic that I could write on and on about, but it’s a process determined by you and your clown together.

So that’s the teacup life, roughly outlined, they are incredible creatures and surprisingly not as different to humans as one might think, in terms of lifespan and maturity. I’m so looking forward to when you get your newest clown, she really seems like something special, and tysm for the asks <33333 good wishes to all your little guys and best of luck with your new clown!!

Happy clowning :o)

[mrhaitch]

Hello hello Mr. Haitch!

I am seeking advice or perhaps an outside perspective on a certain matter. I've always wanted to pursue a writing career but I'm currently taking education due to my parents' influence. It's not really my cup of tea but I take what I am given.

Should I still pursue a career in writing even though I'll most likely not have professional training or education when it comes to it? I've always had a knack for it but I'm afraid my skill isn't as refined as it should be to make a living out of it (I am into creative writing).

I'm incredibly grateful for you response! I adore both you and Haitch very much!!!

Hey Anon. So sorry for the delay - Tumblr ate my first draft and then life got busy.

I can only give you my perspective here, drawn from my own experiences and the things I've seen and heard from other authors.

By writing career I'm going to assume you're talking about fiction - in which case you need a reliable and stable income. I'm not saying that to be mean, or bitter, or to taint your dreams; the reality for most of us is that writing does not pay, and if it does it does not pay well. As my PHD tutor once said "if writing is the vehicle to a better future, the novel is a fucking jalopy".

It took me ten years to get my first publication. Ten years where I wrote four novels and far more short fiction than I can accurately recall, and I went through the submission gauntlet for all of them. Everything I sent out into the world came back with a form rejection, except on three occasions. For each novel I submitted to maybe 40 or 60 agents, and almost never received a personalised reply (I'm actually friends with one who did, very nice guy). It was ten years of shouting down a well without so much as an echo for my efforts. When I finally did get published (short story), there was no payment.

In fact, at this point in time, writing has earned me nothing.

Agents and publishers work through thousands upon thousands of submissions, and only take a small handful forward. You're in direct competition for the attention of a very select few, against a vast multitude - and to make matters worse you're also up against that agent or publisher's boredom and disaffection after reading reams and reams of dreck. So that first impression has to be stellar, or they won't linger. It's a form rejection and back to the drawing board.

You will be rejected, and rejected often. Definitely more often than you're accepted - it can take years, decades, to get so much as a single, positive reply. Even then it might not lead to publication - it might be them saying how much they liked your work but are unable to place it at present. You have to learn to swallow that rejection every time, without losing heart or your cool, dust yourself off and do it again.

And again.

And again.

It's a Sisyphean task where the bolder typically rolls back over you, and gets stuck halfway up just to add insult to injury.

Again - I'm not trying to wreck your dreams, I'm just showing you what's behind the curtain. Everyone is tired and stressed and a little bit disappointed, and there's not enough money for everyone. The love of what you're doing has got to be enough, for now, maybe forever.

So I'm a big fan of writers having full-time jobs and careers. Doesn't matter what it is, so long as you're comfortable and secure. Do not expect the novel to love you back. Its a selfish and evil bastard but you can't help but love it.

[shadowqnights]

May I ask what are your favorite MCD or Mystreet Ships or just Platonic Relationships? I love seeing people’s opinions on different characters relationships. I’ll occasionally see one that I never saw before and I think it’s so neat.

hello welcome to bee's fav ship masterlist

I’m sorry this ask took so long, this is the one that had all my progress deleted before I could save it anywhere during a blackout. So I didn’t try again to write it for a little while. I know you mentioned MyStreet but I want to make a Separate post for that so I might reblog this later with additions but for now I’m just gonna focus on the MCD side because I know my thoughts better on that and already have plenty to say about it.

Here’s like a little masterlist of my favourite ships + platonic relationships in MCD plus some itty bitty summaries with my thoughts on them. As always I’m down to elaborate on any of these if anyone has questions! I can always make more posts specifically about any of these pairings to fully like. Flesh out and brainstorm rewrite stuff. Some characters might overlap cause multiship win. Also these might sound non-canon because this is how I write them, a lot of this is in beeland not canonical jessland. And I've probably forgotten a shitton but fuck it we ball.

Romantic/Sexual Pairings

Garroth x Laurance. No surprises here, I’m predictable, not much to say other than what I say every other time. Enemies to friends to lovers dynamic, they’re toxic and bloody and they are obsessed with each other. They are codependent. They need each other. There is something so insane about enemies to lovers when they literally have seen the worst of each other and fall in love anyway, providing a foundation for such an intimate trust because they spent so long memorising each other for the sake of hatred. Now they would die for each other, now they are black holes for each other - I never really ship Garroth with anyone else in MCD specifically because they are completely absorbed in each other, and Laur only in like alternate timelines where Garrance aren’t quite as insane for each other and are capable of being normal exes. A delicious religious corruption sun x moon guard4guard freak4freak meal for me. Rich with hungry dog metaphors and plenty of blood. I will defend them to the death. In beeland general rewrite (not Loverman, sorry), they get to live on a farm in the middle of nowhere having an honest but peaceful life. They have a couple of kids, including Malachi<3 and once they’re old they are NOT fucking bothered by plot shit again. They go through many hells and then they finally get to rest. They are so fucking in love with each other that it makes me sickened how Jess accidentally gave me source material for the most insane yaoi that would take over my life for a multitude of years. I don’t know what to even summarise here because like. I’ve written a 500k fanfiction about them that is still ongoing like I don’t know what else to say about them that I haven’t already yapped on about. There’s probably more to talk about because I never stfu about them. No one is surprised.

Katelyn x Aphiah. More enemies to lovers but also in a more guard4princess dynamic, and if you squint also worshipper4god if you consider Katelyn devout. Katelyn enters as her assassin and does literally come close to killing her multiple times only to become her target’s most dutiful loyal guard. Their magicks call to each other. Katelyn teaches her how to fight and forces Aph to confront parts of herself that were unacknowledged before their meeting. Confident that with the amount of devotion, desire and pure angry emotion that I give Katelyn, if Laurance hadn’t been at the werewolf wedding in Season 2, she easily could have had a similar outburst and take his place there to save Aph. Katelyn is obsessed with her from the start, no matter whether considering Aph a symbol, then an enemy, then finally a friend, lord and lover. And Aph is utterly captivated by Katelyn, not just her beauty, but her power. Plus, majority of the things you like about Garmau and Laurmau can be translated to Katemau but better if you try.

Dante x Nicole. No enemies here, just lovers, oh god I love these two. They are both runaways haunted by their ‘past lives’, trying to create new names for themselves and heal. I associate them both with animals - Nicole quite literally as a fox, and Dante more metaphorically as a dog or coyote. They are best friends for YEARS before anything even happens between them, and I understand why Jess saw their vibe as an innocent young love/fling but also nooo………………….. I see the visions………………. They heal together… they understand each other’s vulnerabilities and insecurities so well….. they rescue each other…. they are adoring and energetic pure t4t love formed off years of friendship and mutual respect and like. They loved each other as friends and then they loved each other More and just very naturally became partners. They’re both very playful and adventurous when they open up, and even at their most different they’re this lovely dynamic of Nicole unable to stop yapping while Dante stares quiet and adoringly at her. And they fight together side by side!!!! (Hypnosis eyes for you to think more about mcd dancole)

Those are my big three holy trinity right nowwww but. Here are some more smaller-scale MCD ship dynamics that I also looove.

(Jeffory and Katelyn are also on this list but I talked about them yesterday in that other essay so I don't feel like repeating myself. Just know that they're included.)

Vylad x Laurance, errrr it’s complicated you already know what’s going on here. soul bonded or whatever, went through hell together. don’t know each other yet understand each other better than anyone, which isn’t saying much in vylad’s case, since no one comes close to ever really understanding him but if anyone’s going to pretend to, it’ll be laur. they are each other’s hopeful fantasy, like sitting in a dark cell and saying ‘do you think that, in another life-’. in this life, you will always have some kind of self-inflicted divide (you don’t know what the divide is blocking, because it’s not exactly friendship or romance but some third secret scary thing), but the thought will never die. you’re not even friends. in another life, maybe you could have gotten along somehow, but in this life you make stupid, foolish promises about freedom. you leave each other behind eventually, as is natural. vylad had far more clarity and knowledge of shadow knights that garroth never fully grasped, that made laurance feel seen. they make him feel seen in different ways. those damn ro’meaves.

Katelyn x Travis, nooo ha ha wow it’d be so funny if we were both burdened by years of pain and sacrifice thinking that we will never receive love only to find it in an unexpected place. it’d be so funny if you managed to save each other after years of being hurt. to the point that one of you feels that she wasted her only chance at love and the other is afraid that after years of isolation he will never know what it feels like. what if you realise that what you thought was frustrating and annoying is actually exactly what you need right now. maybe he was waiting for you his whole life. maybe he feels like letting go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding for so long. oomf if you keep on cracking the stupidest flirty jokes i might have to let down my tough exterior to actually smile a tiny bit if only in wry amusement but still, he gets her smiling. let’s go swimming and heal together oomfie!!!

Cadenza x Sasha, tragic sun x moon lovers forcefully separated. like your entire friend group was definitely all in love with both of these zvahl siblings at some point but like. instead of both of you being the fascination of this nerd freak one after the other, you two were meant to be together but could never voice it. you were such close friends that everyone already thought you were a package deal. not to be separated. only for everything to go wrong just as you are about to bring those feelings to light and now you will never get the chance because the girl you love just came back Wrong. and worse, she is so convinced that its Your fault that maybe it is, because if she believes it so forcefully it has to be true. without even knowing about gene altering her memories, you just let go because its the easiest thing to do. doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Laurance x Travis, but only in like a certain AU where Garroth is his ex but they’re not fucked up enough to be entirely obsessed with each other still. I don’t really indulge in Laurance or Garroth ships often because I am so ride or die for Garrance but I think in some world Laurance and Travis fit so nicely together, the same way that Laurance has that complicated relationship with Vylad but only in the circumstance that he’s not with Garroth. You have to hear me out here as I tell you that I understand Laurance on a deep insane level and you need to trust me when I say that he’s interested in science. He spends years ruling by emotion and temper. He’s searching for something logical, something with a straightforward answer that doesn’t depend on keeping his heart in check. He’s tired of being told to meditate or do yoga or whatever, thanks Vylad, he wants something tangible. Everyone is so busy worrying about him being this dangerous, volatile ticking time bomb that needs to calm down or leave when he’s already been through an emotional washing machine’s worth of hell that season alone. He’s tired and he wants a solution to a problem that is very much emotional, something that can’t just be fixed. Shadow Knights are made out of emotion, and ugly emotions at that, and now more than ever Laurance is so exhausted by the constant of it.

(Interesting to talk about later that Garroth and Laurance essentially swap, despite their respective emotional reputations, that Garroth’s leaving is emotionally driven and while Laurance’s is triggered by emotion, as per the Shadow Knight overreaction, his actual leaving is far more logical and straightforward, making it less emotionally destructive. Despite the notion that he is more emotional and Garroth is far more repressed, their breakdowns kind of reverse. It’s a little funny. Truly made for each other. Ok sorry no more garrance.)

And oh look who it is its Travis fist deep in the dirt hunting for worms with books and maps strapped to his back conducting the most fucked up science experiment known to man, someone who is very used to putting up a kind of faux performance to survive while having an incredible amount of burdens and sacrifices hidden beneath that carefully curated persona. They’re both incredibly clever, and despite those personas being playful and flirty, they know when to lock in to get the job done. And Travis is that perfect intruiging mix of heart and logic, because he’s blunt and straightforward especially when it comes to reciting things he knows from books, but when he gets passionate he can yap for hours. He is incredibly brave and sweet but also very studious and not very emotionally intelligent. He sees that Laurance has a problem and works himself to the bone to try and fix it for him, even when Laurance is trying to explain that its something unfixable. They’re kind of rivals at first that turn into besties who study each other sometimes. They are considering dissecting each other to figure out wtf is going on in the other’s brain. In a time period where literally everyone’s waiting for Laurance to snap, and he really does snap on Travis, it’s kind of comforting for someone to be fascinated by the Shadow Knight rather than afraid of it, and wants to approach it with science and reason rather than with emotion, fear or merely just projecting their own shames onto him. Their demon sides like each other or something.

Kiki x Cadenza, they’re pretty simple and cute. Sweet little background couple both passionate about nature - obviously Kiki loves animals, and Caddie is more interested in plants and gardening. They both have these almost-dormant magicks that emerge in very beautiful, caring ways. They are soft and tender with each other and also the idea of them meeting via Cadenza being a literal hen is kind of funny. They should throw rocks at Zane together.

Lucinda x KC, except I haven’t fuuuully thought about their endgame, just that they are so cute. Rivals to friends to rivals again, then friends AGAIN, then business partners/besties for many many years. And then when they’re older, lovers. They are stronger together, their magicks respond well to each other, and their individual business ventures actually work best when combined rather than competing. They don’t get together until they’re older ladies and, while Lucinda would still be working through some teacher-related conflicts, she’d be more willing to settle after years of wandering and long after being the White Witch, she might feel more comfortable sticking to one place. But even so they’re the kind of yuri that never has an explicit conversation about it and never tell anyone, it just happens so naturally, they’re old women who live together and have a dual witchcraft store + bakery and finally get to live in a place where they don’t have to feel ashamed of themselves or be in constant competition, even playfully, they can just Live. And also owl x cat dynamic is so cute.

Platonic/Familial Pairings

I feel like a couple of these I have talked about in more detail before so these will be kiiind of brief. Here are some of my favourite platonic dynamics and I am CERTAIN I've forgotten a lot of nice little underrated friendships but fuck it here's a top three.

These AREN’T ROMANTIC !!!

Dante, Aphiah & Aaron, their dumb dog-core little found family - Aaron becoming this old, gruff older brother figure for the both of them. After being alone for so long and bearing so much suffering, he finds solace and the beginning of a healing journey in both of them. None of them are replacing what has been lost per say, but fill the gaps of pieces missing in certain ways. Aphiah the amnesiac who, if she ever had a family at all, has literally no one now, getting to have a sibling dynamic with Dante, who waits so dutifully for his sister to come home. She looks to Aaron as a mentor figure, someone who can understand her feeling of otherworldliness and how she often feels alienated from the rest of the cast while also empathising with her as a Lord and a parent. She and Dante follow him and learn from him very attentively - and for Dante, to have an older brother figure that isn’t Gene. They take care of each other. An old wolf and the cubs that started following him around one day and while gruff and stubborn as to ignoring them at first, slowly learning to open up to them, thus earning their trust.

Vylad & Katelyn, give it up for EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED BESTIESSSSS. Every time I’ve brainstormed and thought about them with oomf I’ve been so genuinely pleased at the idea of locking them in a room together where they literally would just sit in silence and not be able to start a conversation. Such a painfully stubborn, awkward silence. Every scene they have together is so fucking funny do NOT put these guys on a boat together. They’re both gods of obsessing over their stony unfeeling tough exteriors to spare themselves of feeling. Kings of having tragic ass pasts and significant people in said pasts that haunt their respective narratives in a way that they feel no one will ever understand. So they can sit Close to each other sort of and continue to not understand each other but yet be the exact fucking same. GO TO THERAPY LOSERS.

Lucinda & Dante, go get therapy pt. 2, Dante you have to stop latching onto all of these caring figures that are a little older than you and provide some sort of semblance to a sibling, Dante stop it. She picks up on his subtle fear of witchcraft really quickly and decides to teach him more about what she does. He’s able to divulge parts of his past to her that he could never tell anyone about and she’s able to offer some comfort. I do appreciate that it’s not entirely one-sided - like yeah Dante is seeking comfort and understanding which he hasn’t really been able to take before, but he’s also there as a supportive shoulder for her, too, the way that his friendship with Aaron also starts out as mutual transaction. He notices that Lucinda has been feeling a little bit outcast by the town, even though she thinks thats what she has to be yet longs to be involved in the community, so he makes an effort to include her and spend time with her. He’s not really her apprentice, but he’s definitely willing to help out when he’s around, picking herbs and such. It’s a little funny that Dante is so insecure that he thinks of himself as undesirable and unloveable but a vast majority of town is literally a Dante fanclub willing to die for him and take him under their wing. Like oh baby. Your awkward charm is undeniable.

Stayed up late writing another ask answer yet again yippee. As always inbox is open for more asks if you feel brave enough to receive an answer of this average length and insanity :3 Stick your hand in my cage. I don't bite :).

[harrietvane]

Hello,

I’ve just finished “Blue at the Mizzen” and I was wondering what your opinion is on the unfinished book is….

Have you read it? Would you recommend reading it or not?

I am so sad to be at the end of the books but ending on Jack so happy and relieved might be the best place to stop?

Would really value your opinion as I know you know the books well.

Warmly,

Rosanna

Ooh this is a tough one - because my own approach (thus far) is not one I’d necessarily recommend? The thing is: I have not read it.

However! Complicated reasons for that. One is a personal weirdness of mine where I am oddly resistant to watching or reading the ‘final’ instalment of a thing. I have noticed myself doing this a lot: I’ll just leave the very last episode unwatched, the last book in a long running serialised saga unread. This is not a recommended practice, it’s what I’d call ‘a super dumb thing to do’, and I’d categorise that as a symptom (of what? Who knows! I’m an undiagnosed delight). Is it because if they fumble the last instalment it leaves a bad taste for the whole series? Maybe. Is it because if there’s still one left, then there’s still Something Out There and the experience of discovering new writing isn’t over yet? Could be! Anyway, it’s a silly thing to do and I don’t recommend it as an approach to media. Go forth and read!

Having said that, I do have an aversion, generally, to publishing bits and pieces of an author’s notes as though it were finished work. I think it feels like being asked to have the mindset where a creative endeavour is ‘content’ to consume, rather than a constructed, deliberate work - “it’s their words and you want more words! So here’s more!”. O’Brian seems, from the work, and from interviews, to be a bit of an exacting, deliberate sort of creator - taking 3 chapters of some unedited typescript and adding some handwritten elements that didn’t even get to editing stage feels uhhhhh vaguely intrusive? Ahhhh why am I like this, that’s not even a reasoned response, and should not be taken as direction lol. I should back away slowly from this sort of parasocial contortion!

Like, I’m all for publishing someone’s essays, collected letters, all kinds of ephemera - that’s it’s own thing. But taking something which is a specifically a work In Progress, and publishing it as though it were a presentable book (a voyage of Jack Aubrey), didn’t really appeal to me. Which is contradictory of me as I do enjoy artists proofs, sketchbooks, and unfinished paintings! I contain multitudes.

At the end of the day it felt a bit like the publisher going “I’m going to tell you a new Aubreyad story, but we don’t know if O’Brian was going to tell it in this way, really, and also I’m going to stop partway through” which I didn’t fancy experiencing. So, at this point I tend to finish up at 20 and go back to 1. Never say never though - maybe the various editor’s notes, forewords, and afterwords would help me enjoy it as a fragment, rather than a presented work. It’s at least 3 chapters of (more or less) O’Brian prose, which is better prose than one often finds.

Please don’t let me stop you for any reason. Read on! If you go ahead and read it, post your thoughts?