#it is a particular hell to get attached to someone who is incredibly emotionally unavailable
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I… feel… like… a… little… zombie!!!
#get ready for a vent… oh boy this will be fun to look back on#i am so tired of being the one who cares more or at all#it is a particular hell to get attached to someone who is incredibly emotionally unavailable#especially when said person made it seem like they were romantic and emotionally available in the beginning#and then u felt crazy for questioning them when all long they never planned on actually wanting anything with you#I have wasted so much time but can’t stop somehow#I just don’t care about other people the way I do for this person whyyyyyyyyy did this have to be how it was#he cares so much about his friends and work and family and just does not feel the way I do#I keep hoping he does deep down but I’m afraid to say it just doesn’t seem like it anymore#who invites someone over then tells them right before bed they have to leave at 9 or 9:30 for breakfast with their friends#after I took the freezing ass metro for him!! and he only invited me last minute cause he decided not to go out with friends cause the cold#like what on earth how did I end up in this????? this is not how it’s supposed to be#and I feel a little sorry for him that he can’t let himself experience something intimate and great he is emotionally shallow#i never would’ve imagined this is how it would be…#I never ever vent ever but I just can’t stop talking about it or this sadness will eat me from inside#I even told my mom!!!#im sick of this…#maybe one day he will regret it but maybe not he is so apathetic it’s so frustrating#it just hurts so much to see that someone you thought you were close to does not value you the same way or appreciate you very much#he meant/means so much to me and now I see I just don’t mean much to him#he doesn’t want to commit to anything and said I’m his friend after leading me on for a LONG time#i turned down other people for him cause he just kept making it sound like once __ happened he’d be ready for a relationship#i was so hopeful :(
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