#it is a GOOD trait i support but since it is so isolated it made her seem like a Disney princess a bit

[viciousvortexx]

My headcanons about Vergil's bad traits

♥ because life is not a bed of roses

just my silly hc about the bad side of his personality or things i think he can't do, anyways, we love him the way he is <3

★ He used to shut out people a lot and avoided talking properly about problems, Vergil wanted to show his superiority and power trying to make the others think about the situation without properly solving it, and also, it's damn hard for him to say out loud when he's wrong.

★ Hides his emotions a lot, Vergil won't admit what he's feeling because he's afraid of getting vulnerable and weak, sometimes this also goes for good emotions, these are probably the ones he consider to show more vulnerability.

★ Professional in the art of the awkward silence, it's really complicated for him to pull up conversations or keep them going, Vergil will start to look around, avoid eye contact and clean his throat constantly in a casual conversation.

★ If Vergil is too deep into something that's he's doing and failing, he won't stop till he get it right, even if it drains all his patience, he won't give a break, this also makes him a overworker, trying to finish things all at once.

★ He's insecure, Vergil can be a master at fighting demons, but all the time he spent isolated made any kind of relationship with other people a challenge, after all, he'll secretly think he's ruining all the fun by not being so active like the others.

★ BAD AT COOKING, my man spent years trapped in hell, never touched a pan this whole time, you really think he knows what he's doing inside a kitchen?

★ Overprotective, Vergil will always be afraid of loosing the things or the people he cherish, this can lead him to think he's the only one that can protect something.

★ (DMC3 Vergil specifically) Thinks he's better and superior to anyone, but doesn't realize how naive this is.

★ His awareness can be a bit dangerous sometimes, since he can pull the Yamato really quickly and end up hurting someone he thought it was a threat.

★ Won't ask for help to do something he knows won't be able to finish or learn by himself, he'll wait for someone to offer support. “Alright, I suppose I'll allow you to join me this time...”

★ Vergil is a jealousy person, and like most of his emotions, he'll reprehend it and won't talk about it, getting afraid of loosing something will lead him to get jealous very quickly.

★ If you get yourself in trouble, he's going to save you and then scold you, talking about how you shouldn't have done this, listened to him and how dangerous that was, maybe that's just his way to show he's concerned and cares.

★ Extremely hard headed, this makes him kind of a stiffy person, he won't see a second option for certain situations even if there's another, though, this also means he'll always fight for his his ideals and defend his opinions, it's not easy to change his mind.

★ Struggle to rely on others, this leads Vergil to push people away or refuse new connections, things are going to be fine if he stays in his social comfort zone.

★ Difficulty to react to certain things people say, I feel like at a specific point in his life, Vergil would get full of himself when receiving compliments because he thought that was a good reaction, while he got older, realized that being overconfident it's annoying and actually push people away, so now he doesn't know how to react to compliments and can act all awkward that doesn't express his genuine feelings.

[nayziiz]

Witness | CL16

Summary: In the shadowy world of Monaco's elite, the Leclerc family reigns supreme. Charles Leclerc, the charming middle son, maintains their pristine public image—until one rainy night, during a fit of rage, Charles does the unthinkable. A young woman witnesses his actions, and her terrified eyes haunt him. Consumed by guilt and fear of exposure, Charles embarks on a desperate search to find her before she can destroy his family’s legacy. As he delves deeper into Monaco's underbelly, Charles must confront his own darkness and the lengths he will go to protect his family.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x OC (Marie)

Warnings: Violence, blood, angst

Author's Note: This is a slow burn fic, so please be patient - the good stuff is coming, I promise!

Masterlist

Chapter 9

Max had been in Charles’s life ever since he could remember. Max came from an influential Dutch family with ties to several businesses in Monaco and France. Their fathers crossed paths often due to business. Charles’s father, a humble mechanic, was determined to build an empire for his young sons. In contrast, Max’s father was a tycoon with connections all over the world. Their paths crossed by chance, but it was a meeting that would shape their futures. When the Leclercs began succeeding in Monaco, Hervé, Charles’s father, enrolled his sons in a prestigious private school. He wanted to give them the best possible education, help them build solid foundations, and make influential connections. This school was a world away from the modest life Charles had known, filled with children of politicians, businessmen, and celebrities. It was there that Charles first met Max.

That’s when Charles and Max met. Max was quiet, reserved, always in his own bubble during class. Charles saw him sit alone during their lunch breaks and decided to befriend the young Dutchman. They got along like a moth to a flame. But, they were also fire and water when it came to their personalities. Charles was kind-faced and kind-hearted. Max was stern, often appearing unapproachable, but was yearning for attention. His father worked so much, he never spent time with him and when he did, he constantly critiqued the young boy for every small mistake. Not even his accomplishments were ever good enough. This treatment from his father manifested a darkness in Max. He started acting out of character, at least from Charles’s point of view, trying to win over his father’s favour.

Charles, noticing Max’s isolation, approached him one day during lunch, “Hi, I’m Charles. Mind if I sit here?”

“Sure, go ahead,” Max looked up, surprised, but nodded. Charles sat down next to the solitary figure and offered a friendly, dimpled smile. 

From that day forward, Charles made it a point to include Max in his activities, whether it was group projects, sports, or simply hanging out after school. Max, despite his reserved nature, found himself opening up to Charles. He was drawn to Charles’s warmth and genuine kindness, traits that were starkly absent in his own life. As their friendship deepened, Charles learned more about Max’s home life. The constant criticism and lack of affection from his father weighed heavily on Max. He shared his frustrations with Charles, who listened without judgement. Charles’s unwavering support provided Max with a sense of belonging and acceptance he had never felt before.

However, the stark differences in their personalities often led to conflicts. Charles’s easygoing nature and inherent goodness clashed with Max’s stern demeanour and growing bitterness. Max’s desire to prove himself to his father led him down a path of ruthless ambition. He began to see the world in terms of winners and losers, and he was determined not to be the latter. Charles, with his strong moral compass, often found himself at odds with Max’s methods. While Charles believed in hard work and integrity, Max was willing to use any means necessary to achieve his goals. This fundamental difference in their outlooks created a tension that simmered beneath the surface of their friendship. Max’s behaviour grew increasingly erratic as he tried to win his father’s approval. He became more competitive, more willing to cut corners and use others to get ahead. Charles, ever the peacemaker, tried to steer Max away from this destructive path, but his efforts were often met with resistance.

The first time Max and Charles butted heads was in their sophomore year of high school. As fate would have it, both boys fancied the same girl. Charles had expressed his interest in her to Max, trusting his friend with his feelings. He described how he planned to ask her out, detailing every aspect of his intentions. Max listened intently, but his eyes held a glint of something Charles couldn't quite place. A few days later, Charles was stunned to see Max making a move on the innocent girl. Max, with his smooth talk and confident demeanour, quickly won her over. Charles watched from the sidelines, his heart aching with betrayal and confusion. He couldn't understand why his friend would do such a thing. Despite his hurt, he held back from confronting Max, hoping it was all a misunderstanding.

However, it wasn't long before Max broke the girl's heart, ending their brief relationship with a cold detachment that shocked Charles. The girl, devastated and confused, confided in Charles about how heartless Max had been. This incident planted the first real seeds of distrust between the two friends, and Charles began to see Max in a different light. Yet, his loyalty kept him from severing ties completely, hoping that the Max he once knew would resurface. The second major incident came after a party during their junior year. Both boys were drunk, unable to drive themselves anywhere. Despite their intoxicated state, Max insisted he drive them back into Monte Carlo. Charles, ever the voice of reason, protested vehemently, emphasising the dangers of drunk driving. But Max, using his manipulative charm, convinced Charles that everything would be fine. He played on Charles's loyalty and trust, making him feel guilty for doubting him.

Against his better judgement, Charles agreed. The drive was tense, with Charles gripping the seat, eyes wide with fear. His fears were soon realised when Max lost control of the car and they crashed. Both boys were injured, but Max played the victim perfectly. When the authorities and their parents arrived, Max's father immediately pointed the finger at Charles, accusing him of distracting Max while he was driving. Charles was stunned by the accusation but remained silent. He didn't want to create more trouble for Max, despite the injustice. His loyalty, his greatest strength, also proved to be his biggest weakness. He took the blame quietly, enduring the harsh words and disappointed looks from his parents.

This incident, however, left a deep scar. Charles began to see the true extent of Max's manipulative nature. He realised that Max would go to any lengths to protect himself, even if it meant betraying his closest friend. Yet, Charles's loyalty persisted. He couldn't completely turn his back on Max, hoping that their shared history and the bond they once had would be enough to redeem his friend.

Hervé, deeply concerned about the growing influence Max had over Charles, pleaded with his son to cut ties with him. He saw Max as a bad influence, someone who could lead Charles down a dangerous path. Hervé’s worries were not unfounded; he had witnessed the negative changes in Charles and feared that Max’s manipulative tendencies would eventually overshadow his son's values.

“Charles, you need to distance yourself from Max,” Hervé implored one evening. “He’s not the friend you think he is. He’s a bad influence. You need to focus on your future, not on someone who’s dragging you down.”

Charles, feeling torn between his father’s concerns and his own loyalty, lied. He had no intention of severing his friendship with Max. A mistake, perhaps. The bond they had forged was too deep, too complex to unravel easily. He believed he could still influence Max positively, hoping his friend would eventually change for the better.

As they moved on to college to complete their degrees in Business Management, the strain on their friendship became more apparent. Max’s disdain for the structured, academic environment was evident from the start. He loathed being tied to a desk, working on assignments and studying for exams, a stark contrast to his father’s expectations. The college experience, meant to be a time of growth and learning, became a battleground between Max’s rebellious nature and the demands of his academic pursuits. To avoid the drudgery of studying, Max found a more insidious way to get through his courses: he cheated off Charles. At first, it seemed like a harmless arrangement. Max would glance over Charles’s notes during exams, or sometimes they would swap answers in a discreet manner. Charles, while uncomfortable with the deception, couldn’t bring himself to refuse his friend’s requests for help. They never got caught, but each instance left Charles feeling uneasy, plagued by guilt and a growing sense of moral compromise.

Max’s reliance on Charles’s academic performance became a regular pattern. Despite his disinterest in studying, Max managed to maintain decent grades, thanks to Charles’s diligent efforts. The arrangement, while keeping their friendship intact, slowly chipped away at Charles’s sense of integrity. Each act of cheating seemed to further entrench Max’s dependency and blurred the lines between friendship and exploitation.

The final nail in the coffin came after yet another party - a lavish, high-energy event that promised excitement and excess. Charles, having grown wary of the chaotic aftermaths of these gatherings, decided to drive himself and stay sober. He had seen too many nights ruined by alcohol and was determined to avoid another disaster. Max, on the other hand, embraced the night with abandon. He was drunk within hours, revelling in the attention of several women and engaging in a wild, hedonistic spree. Charles watched from the periphery, his discomfort growing with every reckless action Max took. As the night wore on, he noticed a darker side of his friend that he had been desperately trying to ignore.

At some point during the evening, Max’s behaviour took a disturbing turn. Charles saw him corner a man in a dimly lit corner of the party venue. The man, dishevelled and clearly terrified, was being berated by Max. It became clear that the confrontation was about money - the man owed Max a significant sum, and Max’s patience had worn thin. Charles watched in horrified silence as Max, consumed by rage and a thirst for control, began to physically assault the man. The violence was brutal, fueled by Max's unchecked anger and a sense of superiority that had grown over the years. The scene was so shocking that Charles felt paralyzed. He had seen Max act out before, but this was a new level of cruelty. He could not stand by any longer; his sense of moral obligation outweighed his loyalty. When Max eventually dragged the beaten man into a secluded area, the reality of what was happening set in. Charles knew that something had to be done, but the situation spiralled beyond his control.

Later that night, Max approached Charles with a grim, urgent request. He needed Charles’s help to dispose of the body, to cover up the crime and ensure that his father, Jos Verstappen, would never find out. Max’s fear was palpable; he knew the consequences if his father learned of his actions. In a moment of cold, calculated desperation, Max sought to pull Charles into his moral abyss. Charles was revolted. He felt the weight of his past actions and the loyalty he had been forced to compromise. The request was too much; it was the final breach of his ethical boundaries. After a brief, tense confrontation where Max’s threats became clear, Charles made his decision. He refused to participate in the cover-up. Without a word, he walked away from Max, leaving him to handle the fallout of his own choices.

In the days and weeks that followed, Charles’s decision to distance himself from Max had severe repercussions. Max, fueled by a mix of betrayal and fear, saw Charles’s departure as a threat to his own safety. Fearing that Charles might reveal his criminal actions to Jos Verstappen or the authorities, Max began plotting revenge. He worked tirelessly to destroy Charles’s reputation and life, employing all his resources and connections to ensure that Charles would suffer. Sometimes, he would leave Charles be, but Charles was always aware of the impending threat, and now Max had something on Charles - solid proof of wrongdoing, all Charles had was his word.

Charles lay awake most nights, staring at the ceiling in his darkened bedroom, haunted by the same relentless nightmares. The images from that fateful night replayed in his mind with cruel clarity. Max’s violent outburst, the fear and desperation in the man’s eyes, and the harsh reality of what Charles had chosen to ignore plagued his thoughts. The guilt of not reporting the crime gnawed at him, a constant reminder of his moral failure and the betrayal of his own values. The weight of his decisions bore heavily on him, twisting his thoughts into a web of remorse and self-reproach. Charles understood all too well the crushing burden of guilt. It was this understanding that fueled his desire to protect Marie from the same torment. He saw in her the potential for the same endless cycle of regret and anguish that had consumed him.

Charles knew that what he had done was wrong. He had become exactly what he hated in Max - a murderer. It was a decision made in a moment of fear and self-preservation, a reaction to the intense PTSD he had suffered for over five years. The psychological scars from that night, combined with the subsequent attacks from Max, had turned his life into a continuous battle of moral and principle. His efforts to help Marie stemmed from a place of deep empathy and a desire to atone for his own mistakes. He recognized the look of fear and uncertainty in her eyes, understanding the unspoken anguish that came with being in a dangerous situation. Charles wanted to offer her a chance to avoid the kind of guilt that had become his constant companion. He hoped that by helping her navigate her own challenges, he could give her a semblance of control and peace, something he had long since lost. He also knew he wasn’t like Max. He felt remorse, Max did not. Charles wasn’t protecting himself, he was protecting his family. Max only ever cared about himself and not being inadequate in the eyes of his father.

---------------------

Taglist: @headinthecloudssblog

[jazzmckay]

anders & merrill parallels

despite coming from contrasting walks of life, anders and merrill have a lot in common. tension rises between them due to fundamental differences in their belief systems; things that could help them understand each other incredibly well mostly just drive them apart, which is such a tragic loss for two people who are in desperate need of support.

ways anders and merrill parallel each other:

childhood displacement and resulting isolation

on a quest for the good of their people

their faith

association with spirits/demons

lack of support and eventual tragedy

childhood displacement and resulting isolation:

at the age of 12, anders was taken from his parents to the ferelden circle. when merrill's magic manifested as a child, she was sent to another dalish clan that needed a keeper's first, having to leave her parents behind. their magic meant they had to be uprooted from their homes and families. merrill's displacement was not done maliciously--mages are moved around so that no clan goes without a keeper to preserve their history and culture--but it does still mean she lost her family very young and only has vague, wistful memories of them.

marethari, as much as she thinks she's doing what she must / what's best for merrill, is not a good parental substitute. their relationship may have started decently, until the matter of the eluvian drives a wedge between them, but what happens at this point doesn't paint marethari as a good parental figure. marethari chooses to send merrill away rather than trying to reach a compromise with her, or even just comforting her and helping her process her grief in a healthy way. it's clear merrill thinks of marethari highly, but it seems like acceptance and emotional support may not have been a large part of their relationship. in addition to this, as a keeper's first, merrill's training and apprenticeship likely took most of her time, making it harder to nurture other friendships.

likewise, the circles aren't a good place for mages to form relationships. they're under constant scrutiny, they have to be careful about any connections they form, many mages may feel they're safer keeping to themselves. children born to mages in a circle are even taken away from them. circles are a hostile environment in many ways, and wouldn't inspire the mages to foster companionship. anders refuses to talk to anyone, even the other mages, at first. he escapes seven times. it isn't until karl that he has any reason to stay, and then karl is taken from him, too.

both anders and merrill have the people they care about taken from them repeatedly--and in merrill's case, the people she cares about even push her away. they grow up disconnected, isolated, and having to fend for themselves. i think this leads to some of the personality traits they have in common as well, namely their intense stubbornness. they have learned that they're largely on their own, so they make decisions on their own, and can rarely be swayed once their minds are made up.

on a quest for the good of their people:

anders is fighting for mage freedom--eventually at all costs. merrill is determined to restore her people's history--not necessarily at all costs, but she goes far further than anyone else would. both of them are driven by wanting better for their people. they are passionate about their goals. these goals are at the forefront of their lives, they are goals they strive for across years, relentlessly. they don't give up, no matter the difficulties along the way. they desperately want positive change for their people. their goals say a lot about them as people, and these qualities are things they share with each other in an incredibly synonymous way.

their faith:

anders is andrastian, and merrill believes in the creators. anders' faith doesn't come across so strongly, because he is of course opposing the chantry's rule on how mages should be treated, but the chantry's teachings have been ingrained in him since growing up in the circle. he believes that there are spirits, and there are demons, and the demons are wholly, inherently evil. his understanding of justice supports his understanding of this dichotomy. merrill, by contrast, was taught that all spirits/demons are just like people, as varied as any mortal. she says all of them can be dangerous, but they can be helpful, too, and she is confident in her ability to treat them carefully and safely.

they butt heads on this badly. anders asks if merrill started blood magic by accident. she says no, she did it very intentionally. anders asks if maybe she just doesn't understand the difference between spirits and demons. she says no, i have a belief of my own and don't need to borrow yours, thank you. it's inevitable that you'll become an abomination, anders claims. skill issue, merrill replies.

their faiths are different, but the two of them are similar in how strong their belief is. it's that stubbornness again: they will not be swayed. they can't agree on blood magic, or how to view demons, which is the main thing that keeps forcing them apart despite how similar they are.

association with spirits and demons:

on the topic of their different perspectives on spirits and demons, another main thing they have in common is anders' relationship with justice, and merrill's relationship with demons she communicates with through blood magic. anders doesn't appreciate them being compared in this manner, but from merrill's viewpoint, they are very much comparable, and in fact, anders is doing the same thing she does, but far riskier. she has no intention of ever joining with a demon. she says anders has no room to judge her, when he has let a spirit in.

both of them are willing to communicate with spirits, both of them have a more open-minded approach to spirits, and this is something they could find common ground on, if not for anders seeing a difference between spirits and demons while merrill does not, and anders' belief that he has corrupted justice into vengeance. it doesn't matter who is right, if either of them are. both of them are doing something risky but thought/think they have a handle on it, that they could/can control it.

whether or not they're right, it leads them to tragedy regardless.

lack of support and eventual tragedy:

merrill is right that she can fix the eluvian. she's also right that eluvians were important artefacts to the elvhen and they could teach the dalish more about their history. she's right! and it doesn't matter. no one believes her. everyone thinks she'll only bring them destruction. her clan turns her away when she refuses to back down. even hawke can not believe in her. many of the other party members don't believe in her. she's right, and it doesn't matter. her clan has a high chance to end up dead. she loses marethari regardless. many party members comment on the fallout in harsh ways. the guilt is already eating at her. she fixes the eluvian, and there may be no one left to share in her success, she may not even be able to feel victorious herself, after what it cost. she is alone. she has always been, in some way, alone.

how different could it have been, if someone had understood what she needed? if someone had as much faith in her as she had in herself?

anders lived the experience of a young mage ripped away from their home and family, forced into a circle, forced under templar and chantry rule. he knows what it feels like to be a lost, scared child, locked in an unfamiliar place, where armoured figures with hidden faces are always watching. he has experienced the abuses. he has been imprisoned and tortured. he has had people dear to him taken from him and made tranquil, even though they were harrowed, even though they never would have done something to warrant it. until joining the wardens, his life was an endless battle to just be free.

the fight for mage freedom, and his manifesto, are a matter of life and death for anders. everyone else, though--they can ignore it, because it doesn't impact them directly. they can believe the potential for mages to be dangerous justifies systematic abuse and even culling. anders is frequently ignored, belittled, or even hated for his mere desire for freedom, and for his passion for the freedom of all mages. he is screaming at the top of his lungs, and no one is listening.

in the end, no matter what, he blows up the chantry alone. he's out of options. it's been years, and nothing else works. no one cares. he has been pushed to his limit. he doesn't want it to be like this, but it's all there is left, and something has to give. he does this alone, and is willing to give his life in the aftermath, because he has nothing left to give.

this likely never could have gone differently. anders has been doomed since the moment he was born a mage.

conclusion:

anders and merrill are characters whose lives often mirror each other: mages who have never been able to form strong, healthy, and/or lasting relationships, finding themselves isolated and needing to rely on only themselves. they are deeply passionate people who strive to do good and make a difference. unfortunately, this works out tragically for both of them.

in a perfect world, maybe they could have been exactly what the other needed. their empathy and determination could have let them help each other. the base is there: when anders first starts asking about merrill's blood magic, he does it with a tone of concern. many times, merrill can express her wish for anders to be happy. in a conversation with sebastian, merrill reveals that anders has warned her to stay away from the chantry. they disagree with each other, but they do care. at anders' harshest, he is talking about himself more than he's talking about merrill; as he feels himself fraying, he projects his anger at himself onto her. he sees their similarities, and he's afraid. she could have reassured him, they could have supported each other, could have put their heads together and found new solutions. the potential was there for their similar experiences to give them a uniquely strong companionship, but they just never managed to grasp onto it.

[peccatulum-b-gone]

Eisen und Blut, feat. Peccatulum Sweep. A report of the recent events in L Corp. territory

Since I have finally have the time to wind down and write this out, here it is. Note that some of the details were obscured* by myself as they fall under an NDA, but after a brief consultation I was advised to include them. All the same, the information does not fall under Hana Association´s censorship policy, so I had to make do with what resources I have available.

*■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■ is not responsible for any attempts of accessing the obscured information

Following a wave of peculiar inactivity from the peccatula in the fallen L Corp. streets, necessary research was conducted. After studying the resources provided by the Dieci Association´s library, it appeared that a foreign dangerous presence has entered the territory, upsetting the "local ecosystem". This theory was further supported by finding material evidence, an N Corp. Inquisitor seal.

Though approach of the situation was most delicate, the abrupt ambush by N Corp members had pushed me to engage F. Kromer, more commonly known as "The One Who Grips" in a state which resembled the distortion phenomenon. However, it had distinct difference to the distortion phenomenon, as the subject bore peccatulae form with some humanoid traits retained. Such form had not been part of the distortion phenomenon and as the consensus on distortions states that "peccatula are distinctly what becomes of individuals who had failed to enter the distorted state", I will refer to it as "chimera".

Due to past history with the individual prior to entering the chimera form (a brief period of obrumuk uqvrr dll wapw samxpsn), I have attempted to reason with them, as I imagined she was a distortion and thus retained some level of cognition. This was quickly proven as a falsehood, as the chimera attacked with little warning. Though I have successfully fended off the combined forces of a group of armored Inquisitors alongside the chimera, I was injured in the combat.

Following the necessary safety protocol issued following my demotion, I have isolated myself while in the vulnerable state. Thanks to the in-person request made by the @zwei-association-official, I was able to acquire the crucial symptom mitigation substance mix, as delivered by the @zweiassociationfixer.

PECCATULUM SWEEP ADDENDUM

In accordance with the fixer request protocols, I have taken the case as presented by the Zwei reports. Caged peccatula have appeareed around the City in numerous locations with major leads pointing to L Corp. as the source of this "trade".

Working with @zweiassociationfixer, few sites of capture and containment were identified and dismantled within an old L. Corp branch. N Corp. is suspected to have hand in this trade, as vast amount of activity had ceased after the N Corp. Inquisitors were dealt with. Ever since, the number of peccatula running around the L Corp. has stabilized. Whether that is a good thing is up for a debate.

END OF REPORT

Signed, ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■, more widely known as SnakeHead

ERROR: Insufficient Disclosure Privileges. This information was hidden from you by the Hana Association

[undeadoracle]

I keep thinking about laudna and pate's relationship, and what exactly pate's personality and, well, existence says about laudna. Frumpkin was essentially an emotional support animal/tool to caleb, important to him but not revealing much to an observer about caleb himself. But the dynamic between laudna and pate is so bananas: obviously he's her puppet to use and abuse as she sees fit--much like she feels herself to be delilah's puppet. That's only emphasized now that pate has sapience of his own, and can act independent of laudna; she's constantly telling him to shut up, shoving him around, etc. It seems like she works out a lot of her feelings of frustration/being out of control and powerless on him, since he's a safe target--after all, she's spent the last 30 years being a target of hostility, run out of towns, hunted and threatened, so she generally strives to be non-aggressive with people to avoid more of that. She's also expressed fear that giving into her negative emotions will get someone around her hurt. Pate represents the most safe target, since he's functionally unkillable, and also as his creator, she seems to feel a sense of entitlement to treat him as a punching bag sometimes. Marisha has talked about how delilah's control of laudna has shaped laudna's perception of, well, everything, so this makes perfect sense.

Interestingly, though, their oft-contentious relationship makes it easy to forget that laudna is the one who designed his personality! So what does that say about laudna, that she made him an outlet to play her negative emotions out through, yet relentlessly punishes him for having that personality? Laudna being not very self aware & spending a lot of time quashing her emotions and hating herself is an ongoing theme; you can see it in her people pleasing, in her placing imogen on a pedestal while believing herself unworthy, in her trying desperately to pretend she's fine when the team gets split. She almost never admits what's going on inside her head. Pate started out as a tool to alleviate her sense of isolation, but the more she put herself into him, the more he became a tool of distancing herself from the things she doesn't like about herself, by putting them into him.

Also, he's super horny, but laudna herself is not particularly horny. She's surprised and flattered when anyone suggests she's desirable, but never really puts herself out there or makes the first move (only exception seems to be ira, who is a big ol' spooky freak, so no wonder she figured she might as well shoot her shot with him). But being horny is like, pate's primary personality trait. which is superficially funny, but also deeply sad, because it suggests that laudna genuinely wanted that kind of connection, and shunted it off into pate as a desire she had to distance herself from but couldn't completely kill.

And yet, she obviously has some kind of morbid affection for him; putting the parts of herself she doesn't like into pate allows her to find something endearing in them, and also allows her to distance herself from those things, and also lets her exert a sense of control over someone else, a sense of control she desperately wants.

idk. It's easy to just laugh at how ridiculous pate is, but he's actually such a great, subtle extension of laudna herself, bringing to light parts of her psyche that would otherwise go untapped, moreso than any other magical familiar i've ever seen. Marisha is so good at adding things to her characters that pull unexpected traits to the surface, and matt is great at picking them up and running with them. It's so fun to watch.

[madfantasy]

Been crying alot lately not knowing why, nd now I can verbalise it, I need to type it down for the sake of my sanity.. I think its lots of trauma dumping, I'm sorry

I've seen a post ask about if you're an ace would u be in romantic relationships, and I have just thought about how I'm always revolted by these concepts since I was 6 years old.

Having been always groomed to be wed to one of my cousins or a rich somebody to be my highest achievements as it solely focuses on my private parts as my worth and my ability to contribute to the family's "Good reputation" and reap back benefits to.

But I knew, all along, if I was forced to be with someone, that will end me being on this earth or them if they tried going near me. And growing up, I always tried to accept that fact, accept that u need to be pure and clean and be good for wedding and basically enslaved to it, cuz that's all our still impoverished family can aspire to. And on top of the dark thing that happened to me, making me truly believe I have no worth in this world and have prayed to be taken to heaven before I hit puberty, and have tried pitiful attempts to leave it, untill i got faint access to Internet and stole the keys to the locked books, they themselves should have been reading, around 17 years old, found an only opening and escape to reality.

I remember, my refusal was all the firmer the more anyone tries to tell me all about the glamor of being an intimate house maid and the domestic abuse they gloss over that I personally have witnessed time and time again with every couple that visited or we went to. I always respond that i am already one to my guardian's with the same abuse minus the gross intimate part.

I didn't even understand why I hated it so much while everyone is doing it, and as young as 16.

I avoided alot of marriage offers thanks to my guardians being, in one good way, over protective. And me losing my mind every time they brought it up. Literal uncharacteristic melt downs and now they fear the subject after they finally snapped me after saying no for years wasn't enough of a respond.

I'm 30 and the latest offer was from a rich cripple who was willing to pay all my guardians debts and give them a farm. My guardians dream. They turned it down without consulting me.

I've always hated the concept of pairs joined by s*x and the s*x itself. And marriage as a whole never made sense to me, considering the developing world and its problems. But I understand it as a bond if its first and foremost was not for love, it was for safety— mental, financial and otherwise.

And where I come from, independence is supported by the family, you can not survive, work, do anything if you do not have a family, and specially if you assigned a certain gender. So basically, I lived in isolation for the majority of my life, in poverty, marriage seen as the only -allowed- way out.

And it's all stims from a so called religious teachings.. Alot in common in this world, who take it as a personality trait and use it to justify injustice. Even though most of the time they know nothing about it beside what they are told by their authority figures and operat in this world as superior to all others because they were told they r the true religion. I saw on TT a so called mus-girl complaining about her children being exposed to 'rainbow ppl' in school education and having the nerve to complain about it living as a foreigner welcomed to practice her religion in a western country and claims not to be hateful. And yes, Arab ppl call the community 'rainbow' which reeks of the phobia and condescension. Like their religion teaches them to be at peace with all and treat ppl how they like to be treated, yet they fail to apply that when they don't like or lack the emotional intelligence to understand others who are merely different, just different and existing, exactly like them. And they do believe God made everything, so he did make those people, so what their excuse to that? And they exsisted since tbe dawn of humanity. And funny thing is their religion tells them that God made humans different, and urges them to read, to wonder the earth and consider facts and if they don't know to ask who are knowledgeable, and their intentions matters more and if they did unjustly by anyone, who ever they are, they r not a true mus--. It obviously translate to just ask a man who knows nothing about science, empathy or common sense or notice the accumulating facts and only repeat a select few he is told at a religious house. Thinking seems to be a burden these people happily relinquish to others. Which irkes me to no end

I was told all the shit I endured is because it from gods teachings, and it should make me happy. I never stopped questioning if this is a bless then why I was never happy? And why I can't do as I am told

They beat me up when I drew, when I was rowdy and when what now i know is stimming, shaming it as an act of another religion, and it was the running joke in the whole family. Mental health was an immense shame and hush hush, and anyone who seemed to need it was judged to be just a lesser mus-- so they deserve all the pain and suffering they get

I was glad that lady was getting chewed by ppl who was responding to her, but one person said something that just made me burst into tears and I couldn't stopp crying lately..

She said she was a teacher that goes from school to school and stuff so she experienced alot of communities and she noticed the vast differences between children who's family love and support is unconditional and those who don't, they obviously tend to later thrive.

And thats the word..

Thrive

Besides our financial situation never changing to the better, everything else was in decline, my guardians health themselves relying on me even more, and my mental anguish exasperated to a point i barely see a point in life, daily.. I can barely draw now, something I did 24/7

Everything that I am I had to do deep research for just to know that there's nothing wrong with me or im not deserving punishments for. I am ace, I am a gentle Them, I am on the spectrum, and I am Mani..

I did everything I do now in secret and complete agony. I learned English to gave privacy, continued to draw cuz it was my only alive part, and posted online when I was forbidden completely to protect my art from being lost, had to swear that I was nit interacting with others. I lied and one of the few times I was found, I was beaten while a school friend was on the other line in a voice chat. I was more humiliated that my friend witnessed it than being caught.

I still have the deep fear and distrust, I can't deal with social things, having to keep guessing which social cues they are using and not to become a living status, leaving the house the mere thought if it alone is panic inducing, I can never feel safe and cant risk something that might bring any harm to me and my sibs, every few days I struggle not to just delete my whole exsistance online. I can't look at faces even in pictures and if I did or need to I have to mentally prepare myself for so long. I literally had to convince my guardians that I can have a credit card so I can "learn" to do stock shi then used it to have PP and one day i got commissioned, and only when that happened I was able not to keep it a secret. And in its place now I feel the pressure when I can't provide or won't

The rest I still have no luck, I bearly managed to tell them recently that I suspect that I am on the spectrum, reading alot about it lately and it explains even things I couldn't. The nearest I managed to tell them that I am ace and what it is is that I started by saying I find who we are suppose to be wed to disgusting and I already living that glamorous stay at home shi nd co-raising 5 siblings they know very little about. They said fine but don't go saying that out loud cuz God says that marriage is the greatest bless but I won't force u ever.

I just feel my life force almost over, while I experienced nothing of life beyond isolation and constant need, so i cant thrive in anything.. Everything I wanted to do I begged to try was denied cuz either of my privates or cuz we were poor. I wanted to be athletic and do sports but there was no such thing as a second gender sports around. I wanted to be and still wish I could be, a wrestler. Unsurprisingly WWE was my inspiration and practiced as serious as a kid could, having what I believed a super pain tolerance cuz I never cried as I was beaten. I was cut from even watching it because it was "shameful " all of a sudden. Later I understood it was because everyone was shirtless and it was s*xulised by them. Everything became the same later, everything I drew or expressed feared to be s*xual and or homo nd I was punished over, I literally drew dying ppl and bromance alot at first. And they just projected their assumptions on me. I understood later and still can't bear the thought that ppl can project s*x into anything, and it never clicked in my mind because of what I am. And that was their biggest fear. I drew things cuz I saw them beautiful, and they only saw it as vulger, because they can't help but hyper s*xualize everything or assume it being so even with clear indications. Something that happened online too, tumblr nd tt, so it triggers me horribly

Something ace i also realised there's a word for (forgotten ittt ugh)— even though s*x and its mention is completely revolting to my person and I can have no relation to it. I can still enjoy it as a fictional concept, as entertainment, if u will, specially in a muse of two characters I enjoy. So drawing it is fun and exciting and enrichs my naughty side. Until I finish it and I never want to see it again cuz I'm not super good at it yet heh

In my mind, I can love and treasure who ever platonicly, and our bonds does not have to direct our paths in life. My romance is bromance, and meaning I will do everything to make my bestie happy, and my biggest wish is to live like tintin, in a mansion and everyone can be free to go on adventurous escapades, like getting coffee. ( i never done that, so

And this is something I wish to do with my siblings, if the stars were ever to align..

At least have Sherir with me.. puppets make me happy

[timeladyjamie]

1.This chapter made me wish that Lily had a baby girl instead of Harry… if she had a girl (from this chapter i understand that she knew the baby's gender before it was born) she would have still felt trapped but she would have likely associated the baby more with herself rather than with James and their union if it was a girl… kind of like what happened with J.K Rowling and Jessica her oldest daughter from her first and abusive marriage… and the fact that Harry looks so much like James and is also so much like him in personality only makes things worst… you might say that but "Harry got his kindness from Lily" but i think it is wrong: the idea that Lily is full of compassion, or even particularly kind, comes from the films and from fanfiction, not from the books. In the books she is described as being vivacious, charming, very bright, funny, brave, cheeky and good at Potions and Charms, she was never said to be kind in the books not once rather we are shown that she is also quite harsh and over-critical and inclined to blame others for her own faults (e.g. she and Sev both snooped around Petunia’s room, but when Lily is silly enough to let Petunia know, and she’s angry about it, suddenly Lily makes out it’s all Sev’s fault and treats him horribly) so Harry is way more similar to James than to Lily and kindness is not one of Harry's defining traits not in the books or in movies… The only characters who you can described as fundamentally kind are Luna and Neville that is why i wish Neville was Lily's son instead of Harry or that she just had a girl instead… even before i knew about Snily's backstory i never liked Harry's character and that is why i never fully read the books since you can't read a whole franchise if you dislike the main character and reading this chapter just made me think that Harry is just a burrden and a painful reminder in Lily's life it is not his fault of course (he didn't ask to be born) but he is still a burrden and somthing that will always stands between her and Severus and represent James…. i think with someone like Neville as Lily's son or if she had a girl everything would have been easier for Snape and for Lily since Neville Potter or a "girl who lived" is so much more lovable and much less related to James…

2.one thing i personally disagree with is James regretting Harry and blaming him for everything. yes, James was immature (doing secret escapades with the Cloak of Invisibility) and frustrated to be locked up but i always saw James as loving Harry deeply and wanting him to be like him and being the permissive and spoiling parent to me he was like Lucius Malfoy a good, spoiling and proud father but a shitty person overall lol.

3.it is said it this chapter that Lily tried to get a job but this goes against what J.K has said that they immediately joined the order after graduating and were supported financially by James. so i always saw Lily as someone who was a bit spoiled since she was her parents favorite so she blindly trusted James and was happy to be supported by him financially that is another mistake i headcanon that she made since she was so blindly in love with the person that she thought he was that she became too depandent on him financially and emotionally letting him isolate her…

4.another thing we apparently have different opinions of is Harry's conception, you wrote it as something that was planned due to Lily's inlaws pressure but i always saw it as an unplanned pregnancy resulting from a drunken hallowen party since it doesn't make sense to me that James and Lily would want to have a child while they were so young, in a middle of a big war and while they are prominent fighters in the frontlines so we agree to diagree (: unlike Harry, i think Neville was planned since Frank and Alice were older and being aurors was their profession they weren't fighters just because of the war.

5.do you have a Snily fic like this just without Harry or with a girl who live instead that i could read?

6.the way you described James as seeing Lily as an award to be won is so spot on since he was a spoilt child who always got what he wanted and never received no for an answer so he doesn't know how to lose and views everything as a game… The way their relationship is described in the book has so many red flags… if James had lived and Lily wanted a divorce i am sure he would have threatened to take Harry away from her if she will leave him just like he had threatened her to date him if she wanted him to stop hexing snape he is not above playing dirty and hit below the belt as long as he gets what he wants so the fact that he died saved Lily for an ugly custody battle….

7.what does the Lily flower and the phoenix have in common? Does lily symbolize rebirth?

8.another thing is i always saw Lily's flaws and darkness manifesting in her treatment of Snape and Petunia and not in her motherhood but her bad reaction to the unborn Harry in this made sense since she was feeling trapped and knew that she was pregnant with a boy so it was like having James all around her. again, i think her initial reaction would have been a lot different and much better if the baby was a girl just like it happened to J.K

9.In terms of the chronology/timeline of the story, back in Chapter 4: Snapdragon in the August 16th, 1994 paragraph there is a flashback scene where Lily is already heavily pregnant at the end of her pregnancy and she is confronting James at Harry's nursery on his lies and deceit but in this latest chapter (chapter 12) it appears that Lily only learned about James's lies just as she found out about the pregnancy so i am confused as to where and when this flashback scene from chapter 4 is placed in the grand scheme of things? Can you write me the rest of the timeline strarting from their wedding on 7 July 1978 and on?

10.why did Lily disappeared from the memories at some point and left Severus to watch them alone?

11.why did James and Sirius didn't trust Remus while Lily did?

12.where did James and Lily live after their wedding? At Godric's Hollow? Or did they only move there once they went into hiding?

13.did they found out about the prophecy and went into hiding in February, 1980? I always thought that they choose the secret keeper a week before Halloween… again, i need you to write me the timeline from their wedding on 7 July 1978 to Halloween.

Sorry for so many questions as i said before this chapter gave me a lot to think about… also,i hope you are not angry that i previously pointed out some mistakes/inconsistencies in the timeline since some authors hate it when it is being pointed out to them but i just wanted everything to be perfect since i wanted to be able to understand the story better😁 P.S wishing you a happy and healthy 2024🥳

NOTE FOR MYSELF: Just for reference when looking back at this post, it's in regard to Chapter 12 of The Language of Flowers.

I've read the books and while there are things pointing out Lily's flaws, she does have her kind moments in the books too. It's not just a thing from the films or fandom. I mean, it was her kindness that made Severus fall for her (at least it's implied throughout the text.) And with regards to Lily having a boy or a girl (or someone like Neville), It might have made a slight difference, but it still isn't the point of it. It's about the fact that everyone keeps noting how Harry looks and acts like James, but yet, Lily just wants Harry to be his own person and not continue to keep being compared to his dad (especially because of seeing how much a jerk James is.) It's also about Lily learning this herself. It isn't Harry's fault that his father is James, but with self-awareness to it, he can do the work to make sure he doesn't follow down his footsteps (something he actually does talk about in the book of the Order of the Phoenix when he finds out how much of a bully James was.) We haven't gotten there yet in the fanfic, but we are close!

I didn't take it as James regretting having Harry or blaming him for everything. I know I said this story would be pretty big on James-Bashing, and it is, but to me him saying “It’s because of our son that we’re in this predicament" and "I didn't want this", it was just one of those stupid moments (even for James) where you're frustrated or going through a mix of emotions and you say stupid things or the wrong things without thinking it through. And once it's said, you kind of can't take it back. It was like that. James is a flawed being. He was immature and a jerk, but the only thing I will give him credit for in this story is that he did care for Harry, which is why at the very end, he still tried to protect him and Lily.

The story acknowledges the fact that they were financially supported by James' fortune and joined the Order after graduation. However, I think Lily still would have liked to get a job herself (because everyone has goals and dreams of what they want to be after all), but because of everything going on with the first war and the dangers it presented, especially for her, she decided it was best to live off James' fortune and just join the Order. Can't argue with those facts, but you also can't change the fact she would have wanted her own career too.

To me, it was pressure from the in-laws, pressure from marriage expectations, pressure from the war and also an unplanned pregnancy. Obviously they were only 18 when they got married directly after graduating (pressure from the war, check.) Then the fact James parents were considered "elderly", even for wizarding standards and had a noted history with problems concieving, hence James was the result of a late-in-life pregnancy and entirely dotted on (pressure from the in-laws, check.) Then like with most marriages, at least from a typical society view since the dawn of time, you are expected to carry on the family legacy and have children (pressure from marriage expectations, check.) After that, depending on if you want a child or not at that current time or at all, it could feel like an unplanned pregnancy, especially if you're in a toxic relationship and have no other choice but to do it or feel pressured to do so. (unplanned pregnancy because of pressure's from marriage expectations, in-laws, and war, check.) That's how I saw it.

I have other Snily fics without Harry, which are also AU's: A Lily Among the Snakes and Obscurial Flower (Rewritten). However, my main focus has been working on The Language of Flowers right now, so those two stories only have 2 chapters up.

I've always seen James and Lily's relationship this way too, so of course I had to explore the potential of it, especially with Lily being alive. I just feel like the canon text gave us so many nods to the Red Flags of James Potter and the kind of spouse he would be towards Lily; between being a bully to those he felt deserved it, arrogant and so sure he was never wrong. He was also willing to hex Lily when she tried to stand up for her friend, and he was seen writing her initials on a Golden Snitch (the implication being a trophy and prize of sorts since that is what a Seeker goes after in Quidditch to win the game, which just symbolizes perfectly how the relationship was viewed by James.) It was literally SCREAMING to me from that scene in the book: GET YOUR RED FLAGS, especially with the fact he was still bullying Snape behind her back in Seventh Year while acting like he had changed his ways! This reminds me, I need to finish that meta I was writing up on this topic.

Lilies Symbolize: Unconditional Love, Devotion, Purity, Innocence, Fertility, Femininity, Grief/Mourning, & New Life/Rebirth. The Phoenix Symbolize: Immortatlity, resurrection, new beginnings, healing, hope and self-regeneration. (( I just took the fact they both meant overcoming death, bringing hope and healing and put it together. It was also a call to her being part of the Order of the Phoenix ;D.

Everyone has light and dark in them. That's the thing. And while Lily does have her...dark moments elsewhere, it was during motherhood and being in a toxic, loveless marriage when she started to awaken to it and that was what led her to wanting to make the change and try to be better. That was the implication of it anyway.

The one taking place in Chapter 4 is hinted to be a trick of the mind because nightmares can do that, especially when they try to use our fears against us. The true and real thing that happened was in Chapter 12. I'll get around to writing out the Timeline for Lily's Past when I can. I'll probably post it here to make it easier. I'll inform when it happens.

It was implied and even pointed out by Severus that the reason she suddenly disappeared like that was because at that point in the memories she had started to lose herself in the darkness in her life after finding out the truth about her relationship with James. She also didn't want to witness everything with Voldy again. But as for if she heard everything while not being there...hmm...possibly ;) It is still her mind.

It is said that Sirius was wary of Remus at the time (and much of everyone, thinking some people were secret spies for Voldy.) He obviously wasn't wrong since that's exactly what Peter was, but it's sad it was directed towards Remus. I figured Sirius would influence James to feel the same way, but obviously Lily didn't.

They lived at the Potter estate before and after James parents passed, but moved to Godric's Hollow when they were told to go into hiding. This was my version of expliaing it since it was never really mentioned to us.

Again, same as I said above. We aren't really sure exactly when it all happened. All we know is Trelawney's Prophecy was made early in 1980 to Dumbledore, but Snape ended up overhearing it and passing it onto Voldy, which then started everything. Exact dates not known, but what happened here in my story is my creative guess on it.

[saltedcoffeee]

Oh I have the same dead relative headcanon: an older sister who shared a lot of the same neurodivergent traits as him. Both siblings were struggling under the pressure to “uphold the family image”, and while trying to take on most of that weight she buckled and had a mental break. Her exile to an unknown institution, the erasure of her existence from the household, and later death in isolation was used by the parents as an example to Alador of the consequences of failure. Inserting your idea, when she dies the palisman is sent back home and Alador keeps it as the last thing he has left of his sister. Now cry.

YOU 🤝 ME

HCİNG AN OLDER SİSTER BLİGHT

you r SO REAL FOR THİS ANON. the fact i had the exact same idea is sending me to the stratosphere did u telepathically connect w me via that post i wonder,,,,

so,,,yea. tbh i hc that she was in the emperor's coven n initially he wanted to join her too but when she left/died he sort of gave up on it bc he just. couldnt find a reason to do it anymore and got him even worse backlash from his parents (if they were alive at the time LMFAO). building up on that i actually hc he never graduated from hexside n left a year early or something bc 1. he couldnt focus on classes anymore 2. his parents/odalia's family pushed him into work early bc that was 'the only thing he was good at'. so 👍

ANOTHER HC (idc we r DOİNG THİS) is that said sister was a recurring winner of the brawl we see in reaching out n when one day she suddenly decided to not join (either bc of stress/her parents' negative view on it) alador was like we gotta keep the blight name 🔛🔝. n went on to uphold her legacy. she thought it was the funniest thing ever n shes the one who took the pic !!!!

n finally since this did start w the palisman yea as we know the emperor's coven keeps its members pretty secluded so she carved a palisman before joining it saying she needed her brother w her for emotional support ! their parents probably dont know abt it bc theyd find it stupid n it made alador embarrassed to incredible heights he couldnt even bear to look at the thing.

then one day the stupid rat randomly came to him n stayed, n he doesnt talk abt it all that much. ppl dont question it bc it looks just like him n they assume its a funny palisman thing n who he is he to disprove them?

[noctuadora]

So. Today, my lovely friend Kiya made me take the Enneagram test and my results were: *drumroll* Type 5!

5w4 to be exact. The rarest of them all…

Cerebral, detached, and sober.

What an interesting way to describe me. I found it hilarious when I first read it, but now that I’ve settled down a bit, yeah, it’s accurate. (I wouldn’t say I’m very intelligent though—cuz it feels like I’m stroking my ego lol)

Since this whole thing is interesting to me, I’m gonna yap into oblivion and write down my thoughts as I read this document.

I’ve said this before here (#adorablog), but one of the things I like and hate about myself is the fact that I try to understand everything—and by that, I mean to really deep dive into topics and concepts and ideas—because I feel the need to know why things and people are just the way they are.

It’s already like clockwork for my mind to withdraw from reality whenever I idle or walk or work or feel as if everything’s stressful. It is like instinct to me now, and that’s what scares me the most. I turn quiet, and I usually either daydream or write my feelings down instead. Thankfully though, I have friends who are supportive and encourage me to talk my thoughts out loud. Seriously, I owe them a ton.

I’ve almost forgotten how much I actually love to learn. Ever since I was a child, I’ve spent most of my time in the library, reading books that piqued my interest. Even now, I think that trait still remains (like in something as trivial as learning more about the lore of my favorite video games, learning a language, trying to figure out techniques in drawing, etc.)

I am an emotional person, but nowadays I tend to take a step back and question why and how did I come to feel a certain way towards a certain thing. Like, for example (let’s go for something trivial): why do I feel uncomfortable when it comes to aeon? It’s not like me to feel so much dislike against something as shallow as a ship. I’m usually chill. When I decided to detach myself from my bias to analyze my feelings and circumstances, I got a clear answer: it’s because their relationship in RE2make inadvertently reminded me of a personal memory that still haunts me to this very day. Just like Leon, I trusted in someone—and that person betrayed my trust. I know the pain it brings. It’s personal. It’s something not everyone can understand and respect. (After that, it’s more on capcom’s rather shitty writing, but I’m not gonna talk about that here lol)

And so, I understood. Now, I always remind myself that whenever I get triggers, I don’t react this way simply because I just dislike them—I have my own reason. Does it sound like I just became my own therapist?

I wouldn’t say I’m the calmest person ever (I have repressed anger), but I was raised to refrain from expressing my true feelings, so I guess this part holds something true. I am naturally private, but I also desire to break out of that shell and try to be slightly open. Hence, why I’m yapping about this Enneagram stuff and posting it on my blog, where people can read. Hi, if someone’s actually taking the time to read this lol👋

And that’s where the free document ends. I was engrossed in this topic now, so I went to search more about my Enneagram type. Needless to say, I’m intrigued!

According to Google, Type 5 is the rarest and most unusual Enneagram of them all. Figures… I think I take solace in the fact that it kinda confirmed my suspicions that I am in fact, a weirdo. In a good way, maybe…? Eh, I’m making a super long ass post of me just yapping. And that’s weird. I’m proving my point. Oh god.

I saw this one talking about the dark side of Type 5s:

“Isolated, withdrawn, and disconnected from reality, they become obsessed and disturbed by their own thoughts. They may fall prey to phobias and paranoia, escalating to psychotic breaks with reality as their imaginary world takes over.”

Oh yeah, this is 100% true and has happened a number of times when I was still in high school. It was a rough time, so many lost opportunities. That’s why right now, I can proudly say I’ve learned and I’m slowly healing… I chide myself whenever I get lost daydreaming about Leon Kennedy or get caught up in what people say on Twitter. At least I’m aware. I am still quite the yumejoshi (dream-seeking girl) though, that hasn’t changed one bit.

And now that I feel sleepy... I’ll end this post with a realization of mine: I’m an INFJ-T (deep thinker, the advocate) and a Type 5w4 (the philosopher). That means there’s no escaping my thoughts. I am a thinker, a yapper, and a daydreaming person, and I need to embrace that fact even though it makes me look weird and embarrassing. Like now.

I LITERALLY CAN’T. STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. THINGS.

GOOD NIGHT!

[beazt]

made a big long venty post about how this website affects my moral scrupulosity and how that presents itself. I spent over 90 minutes on writing and revising various versions of the post before I started this one, and none of them passed my moral scrupulosity + anxiety about attracting hate

so instead I will ask this:

does anyone have any alternative social medias where users are a bit less “constantly under public scrutiny” while not being contingent on providing personal information (like facebook)

it also needs to have solid marginalized communities because I want to be open about things like disability, being intersex, queer, etc

a vague gesture towards discord isn’t a good option bc I really really struggle to find servers that are openly for/allied to people like me and it’s still a crapshoot on whether they require personal information (namely birthdate and face on a government ID????) to be let into the server at all, or they’re huge servers which overwhelm me, or they say they’re allied to intersex people for example then immediately upon joining and saying I’m intersex in a private conversation with a mod, being pinged in the server by that mod with “since you’re intersex can you answer these questions we have about being intersex? we have a few members who have these questions and you’re the first intersex person to join” or they’re allied to intersex folks supposedly but they’re ableist as hell, etc.

and I doooo want to be able to find people who share interests with me beyond innate traits about me too…

:(

im mainly asking because genuinely right now tumblr is my main form of social interaction and view into the outside world most days. im incredibly isolated physically and have no power to change that, and my social life has been in tatters for a long time for various reasons, im not saying that is entirely not my fault but there are a lot of complicated factors going into it and I’m in a catch-22 where I need to get better to maintain friendships apparently, but im in such a shit situation rn* with almost no support system and while I’m working on myself as much as I can, I can only do so much of that while going through extended trauma and extremely little support, and, get this, I still deserve to have friends and support!

*(I have never not been in a horrible situation overall)

I don’t foresee abandoning tumblr, but I need more than just tumblr and YouTube, yknow?

[sprout-senior]

oh i just thought of something else: hybrids!

human-monster hybrids ARE POSSIBLE, since souls are made of magic and it’s been established that human souls are very powerful, and therefore very magical(and intent has been shown to matter, seen most prominently in how much damage the killing blow to sans does)

i know in deltarune humans can’t use magic, so in that case the hybrid child would not be able to use magic either. sorry, kiddo! if we want to, though, we can say this incapability is due to never having the need to learn, paired with magic only being possible in the dark worlds as far as i know. almost no humans have been to a dark world, so no one has any reason to believe they could do magic(i think humans would have to actively work to learn magic, as opposed to monsters, who already have spells i.e. susie’s rude buster, noelle’s iceshock, etc.)

in UNDERTALE, however, i don’t believe it’s been proven one way or the other! even if humans can’t use magic in canon uhhhhh there’s human mages because i say so and it’s a headcanon not a theory

i don’t think EVERY human would be capable of using magic; just people very strongly connected to their soul trait. for example, a human with the kindness soul who is particularly strong in that aspect of their personality(high empathy, really enjoying helping people, generally having a philosophy around everyone deserving basic kindness, etc) would be able to use healing magic. “non offensive” soul traits wouldn’t be able to utilize specific offensive magic, they’d just have to rely on the classic “intent to harm determines damage output”. bravery and justice souls are generally more well suited for learning offensive magic.

basically, a hybrid kid born of a monster and a mage would be able to learn magic, while one born of a monster and a non mage would not.

hybrid kids need a human parent to survive. while full monster babies can survive regardless of which parent stays, hybrid babies need the solidity of their human parent to maintain their form.

lastly, hybrid kids follow monster procreation rules. a female human would not be able to get pregnant due to horizontal tango with a monster. i guess the baby could still appear as a result of it, if they’re passionate enough?? god, that sounds so awkward. you’re having some really good sex and all of a sudden well shit, now you have to stop and tend to this BABY that just APPEARED. oops babies are way easier to happen with my headcanon, unfortunately. i imagine it would be especially terrible if the monster partner failed to inform the human of how monster procreation works, and the fact that yeah a baby can just fuckin HAPPEN

monster procreation is far from all sunshine and rainbows. it has its perks, sure, like the lack of pregnancy(or at least that’s a perk for a lot of people) but the accidental aspect can cause a LOT of problems. like previously mentioned, babies are just as likely to happen as a result of hatred as they are as a result of love. babies are seen as top priority in monster culture, due to the sheer amount of magic required to make them etc, so they’re highly valued. in monster society, purposely abandoned babies are extremely uncommon. abandoning your baby without finding a set of surrogate parents is HIGHLY frowned upon, and everyone does whatever they can to prevent this. if someone can’t take care of their kid, everyone works together to find a suitable surrogate pair. toddler abandonment is more common, since once the imminent risk of death(and like,,,,, baby pheromones or whatever, that’s a thing with human babies and i’ve decided there’s probably a monster equivalent) is gone/over, there’s less guilt over abandoning them. not all monsters are cut out to be parents, for one reason or another, and this often does not end well. there are cases where more isolated monsters(and from a multiverse standpoint, this can happen with outcodes who are either uneducated or don’t have a support system to find surrogates, or both) will abandon their baby anyway— thinking about the coin locker baby phenomenon and other similar cases.

so yeah that’s my addition!

my personal headcanon for how monsters procreate in utmv/utdr: the babies just appear.

enough magic and intent from minimum two monsters will make a baby, it doesn’t matter what kind of intent etc(thinking of how PJ happened as a result of a battle between an alternate ink and error)

so there’s no incubation period. due to this, babies are that much more reliant on their parents for the first couple years of their life. basically proximity to their parents is vital to their physical and magical development; they CAN survive with only one parent’s presence, but it causes problems(i am yet again bringing up PJ and how they were raised primarily by ink for the first few years, don’t have a super solid physical form, and aren’t very powerful despite having two gods for parents. obviously my personal reasoning for this is not canon btw)

this period of necessary proximity to their parents does not HAVE to be the original monsters responsible for their creation. they can develop just fine with “surrogate” parents, given the magic bonds successfully. they CANNOT survive without consistent parents, for lack of better phrasing. if left alone or passed between caretakers too much over a long enough period of time, the baby will Fall Down and subsequently dust. fucked up i know but it’s my worldbuilding headcanon and i get to pick the rules

babies can bond with more than two parents! there isn’t a known maximum amount of parents, since no one has really tried to push the limits, but with several parents the baby will paradoxically take longer to develop their specific type of magic(their physical development is not stunted, but their personal magic takes longer because their soul has to “pick” between several different types of magic to base itself on)

once they’re around two, the baby’s magic type is “locked in”, so to speak. if there are several parents, it can take as long as three or four years in comparison. their power level is influenced by their parents, but not entirely dependent on them. some kids just have more of an affinity for magic, for no discernible reason.

part of what i really like about this headcanon is that gender and species are not factors in making a stable child! incest is still weird tho, i am not a fan of incest in any capacity. also, this means no monster has to deal with the absolute nightmare that is pregnancy. no morning sickness, extreme pain, risk of life, etc is involved. lucky bastards (obligatory “disclaimer this is not to discount the experience of anyone who has had good experiences with pregnancy and have things they really like about it. just bc i can’t personally empathize doesn’t mean i can’t understand that y’all’s experiences are vastly different than mine and you have a perspective informed by things i’ll never have the same level of knowledge and understanding of”)

uhhh that’s the main stuff, i think. literally the entire reason i came up with this idea is because i am just. deeply uncomfortable with mpreg and skelepreg. i don’t have any problem with people who DO like it, i just personally can’t deal. this will not affect my opinion of anybody, i need to make that abundantly clear.

in any case, any utmv/utdr monsters i make will have been born and developed this way. yes this applies to female mammal monsters, it applies to ALL monsters in my personal headcanon. maybe i don’t need to clarify that but whatever

if you like this idea, you’re more than welcome to adopt it! i think it’s an interesting piece of lore to incorporate in stories. i might even apply this to magic centered original works, unrelated to utmv/utdr, because i have become attached. i might not end up pursuing original stories, that’s not really what i’m interested in at this point in time, but i’ll always keep the option open.

if someone else has come up with an idea similar to this, that’s awesome! i promise i did not intentionally steal anyone’s idea, i am not currently aware of anything like it, so please extend some courtesy and understanding for me in the event that there’s a coincidence. i would request the same for if someone comes up with something similar AFTER this is posted, especially since i’m such a small creator without a whole lot of reach.

finally, if i’ve accidentally done something problematic here PLEASE tell me so i can fix it! i never want to cause harm with my work :)

if you’ve read this far, thanks! id love to hear your opinions and/or additions if you’ve got any!

[nights-at-crystarium]

Okay, the recent surge of new followers thanks to the twitter exodus, and now your boy Vivien Fucksalot Rell on the tumblr radar, has me wanting to make some kinda welcome post.

The face of a man who made it to the tumblr radar for the first time C:

Who’s this guy you just saw? Yeah, first and foremost, it’s a cis male, he’s just full of gay and Gender (tm) \o/

Vivi is my WoL who I ship with G’raha Tia and I like to make it everyone’s problem. He’s the main character of the fancomic Fragments that I started this summer. I love ShB so much that I’ve decided to dedicate the next few years of my life to drawing and writing about it. And I believe I’ve got what it takes to tell a story that, in equal amounts, will entertain and break you 🖤

Vivi was tailor-made to interact with G’raha. I’m an experienced oc maker and, how to put it, character chemist? Give me two characters with some fun traits, like the base ingredients for a cocktail, I’ll toss them in a blender, shake it real good, and make the magical chemistry happen. My wolgraha ship is almost 1 year old at this point, I’m still spending every day thinking about them and writing down A LOT of things, random art ideas, fics, and, of course, the comic script, so.. Yeah it’s a good cocktail.

I’m keeping most of the Vivi things close to my heart since you’re yet to learn about him in Fragments. That’s the whole point. But the non-spoilery material is already fun enough imo. You take a look at him and you see: edge, intensity, duality, gremlin, idiot.

He was made in December 2021, got decently developed as a character by April 2022, kept getting more polished since then. I wanna make another post talking about him in a month or so, on his first birthday. For now please perceive him being the fun lil guy he is C:

What about the person behind it all though? My artist username is NextLVL, my own name is Aho or Vel, nb, he/they, a 32 years old self-taught artist who has a bit too much to deal with irl, and I’m holding on to my wolgraha obsession as the only means to stay sane. These guys are my everything. Seriously. Fragments is my first big project that so far has been incredibly validating for me as an artist, and that has given me hope to work on it fulltime thanks to my Patreon. Yes, plugging it because I’ve gotta eat. I’m earning for my living with my art, recent events in the social media sphere have thrown my livelihood into an even greater risk territory. I literally don’t know if I still can earn for my living tomorrow. So, I’ve been pushing my Patreon which looks like the safest and most stable option atm.

Here’s a “nutshell” for how I feel as an artist. Look, I didn’t say it, others did.

I’m working hard to bring something beautiful to the world that’s just an unceasing dumpster fire nowadays. I’m under a METRIC TON of mental pressure, yet I still manage to isolate from it and keep arting, for you and for myself. So yeah.. Thanks for looking, hope you like what I create. If you like it so much that you wanna support me, it’d mean literally everything to me. Thank you 🖤

[linkspooky]

Yuji, Alone. 

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support. 

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut. 

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.” 

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all. 

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people. 

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously. 

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society. 

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap. 

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences. 

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid. 

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested. 

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only. 

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo. 

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other. 

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things.  Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with. 

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them. 

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else. 

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother. 

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years. 

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one. 

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help. 

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped. 

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people. 

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own. 

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo. 

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others. 

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird.  I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional. 

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions. 

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him. 

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone. 

[realmermaid333]

Could you talk about Everlark? Katniss and Peeta as a couple. Why do you think they are compatible?

Thank you :)

@everlarkshipper

I think they are compatible because they are different, but in ways that compliment one another. They are good at comforting each other and they are their happiest and calmest when they are together. They also just simply have chemistry and attraction to each other!

If we look at Katniss, she is someone who had to grow up very fast. Her father died when she was eleven, then her mother fell into a deep depression and was not able to take care of Katniss or Prim. So all of life's burdens fell onto her when she was not even two years into the double digits! Katniss has never had someone who could truly comfort her or make her feel cared for, she has always been the carer and the comforter. She didn't have anyone who made her feel safe after her dad died.

Katniss did have Gale and he was good emotional support, but they lacked chemistry and compatibility in many ways. Gale just simply couldn't comfort Katniss the way Peeta could. Peeta is someone who is very optimistic, kind, gentle, and has a way with words. Those are traits that Katniss loves and values, those traits remind her of Prim! Katniss is someone who is very brutally realistic, at times she can be a little pessimistic, and she is very reserved and unemotional. She doesn't like being in this survival mode with no human connections or vulnerability, it is bad for her, it is isolating. She needs someone who can pull her out of that, someone like Peeta!

Peeta is hopeful and positive, and he always knows what to say. If Katniss needs comfort, Peeta would know exactly what to say to her to make her feel better. Katniss felt comfortable in his arms, she felt safe, which is a feeling that Katniss never truly felt before she met Peeta. These are traits that Gale doesn't have as much, Gale is too much like Katniss to the point that their traits just feed off of one another. Katniss didn't want to be with someone who was super similar to her.

Since the book is not from Peeta's perspective, so we don't hear his inner dialogue, a lot of this is going to be speculation about what I think Peeta would like about Katniss based on his character traits and the interactions we see between them. We sadly don't get to see much of their relationship after the war when they truly got to know each other, we just know that they loved each other dearly and grew together with time :)

If we look at Peeta, he is a positive, kind boy who grew up with an abusive mother who did not want him because she would have preferred a daughter. Peeta would have spent much of his life feeling hated, unwanted, and like he wasn't enough. I think Peeta likes the feeling of being protected, since he experienced abuse as a child I think he likes the fact that Katniss is tough and would kick ass for him. I feel like he would be very attracted to her ability to use a bow and how she defended him. Katniss also seems to show her love for people by protecting them even if it means sacrificing herself. She entered the Quarter Quell with every intention of dying for Peeta. Not that Peeta wanted her to die for him obviously, but it just shows how she is a nurturer and a protector, which is something Peeta lacked his whole life and something Katniss is great at.

I also think he fell in love with Katniss's tenderness when they were in the cave and he was dying. Peeta would like to feel cared for, so I think that situation made his feelings for her much stronger. I think Peeta likes to feel wanted too, he loves that Katniss wants him to stay with her when she has nightmares because she wants him. It seems that a way he shows affection is by taking care of people in the same way he wants to be cared for, because it makes him feel like he has a purpose to fulfil. When he comforts Katniss, makes her cheesy bread even when they were barely talking, carries her upstairs when she is hurt, helps her with her families plant book, gives her the pearl in the arena, plants primroses for her, etc. it is because he cares for her and because he likes helping, he is a helper!

And besides the ways they give each other what they both crave and lack, they just simply like each other and are attracted to each other. Katniss seems to really like Peeta's strength, she likes his creativity, how he can decorate such beautiful cakes, his steady and strong hands, how he can make such realistic and beautiful paintings. Peeta loves Katniss's voice, the first thing that drew him to her was her singing, he seems to like the fact that she is a hunter and is good with a bow too, I'd say he is also attracted to her strength. I am someone who would also love to have THG from Peeta's perspective because I wonder what his internal thoughts about Katniss were :)

also I see y'alls dialogue asks and stuff! I will get to them, I have just not been very active with writing and stuff the past few days

[aidontdraw]

Suna is based a lot off of a lot of North African, Middle Eastern, and Indian culture. You can see it in their clothing styles the most. When ever I'm drawing a more realistic version of Gaara's outfits I tend to look up that style of clothing.

Clothing.

We're told everything's pretty tan and brown colors there, to blend into their environment. Which is only really true of background characters. So I'm guessing it's just to be lazy with character design. Red, Purple, and Blue/Jade seem to all be Sunagakure colors(on top of the tan & brown).

One of the biggest geographic feature about Sunagakure is they are out in the middle of no where. Which is a very good defensive position, but also means it's very isolated. What that did for their culture is made it very distinct. A lot of the other villages seem to follow similar style to Konoha, with some unique traits put ontop. Where at the beginning Suna has its own distinct style comparatively. That would only get outside infflucned by wars, as that would be the only time a decent amount of the population is outside of the village. Which is where I think the flack jackets and some of their military wear came in.

Except in Boruto we start to lose some of these distinct clothing features, especially in the younger generation which could be due to the fact that Suna and Konoha are getting closer.

Makeup.

Makeup seems to be very important in Suna. There are practical reasons for having thick eye makeup in a place with a lot of sand, so that makes sense. We see a lot of the red and purple make an appearance here as well.

Economy.

Its said Sunagakure is very poor, and we can see that in their fighting styles. The puppets essentially make a single man an army. As well as their wind style, the ability to knock out a bunch of opponents at once. We're also told they didn't get paid for the war in Gaara's book, and they still struggle for basic resources.

Also considering there's no wars to fund them, if it's true that they are super poor, it's kinda weird they are still standing in Boruto. By the start of original Naruto they were already in such a bad place they wanted to start another war with the Konoha Crush. So 15 warless years later in Boruto, they should be bassicly gone. As Konoha is also struggling making money throguh ninja work as well.

That being said, I think that's depressing to think of them as poor. So, I like to imagine that's a lot of propaganda from the other villages, and its not that bad. Suna had to have found another source of income to support themselves. It could be the farming land Konoha found for them, or some sort of natural resource. They used to collect gold dust, so maybe they found the gold source.

I assume their dance and culture would also be pretty similar to the cultures of Northern Africa, Middle East, and India. Just a mix of a bunch of diffrent elements of each culture.

The Samba itself is afro-Brazilian, meaning it's true origins are on the continent of Africa, with a few other cultures mixed in. If we are to take the the real world as inspiration for the Suna Samba, which they clearly did, we can imagine their culture has other similar dancing styles & music styles So lots of drums, lots of movment, lots of fun.

As for who dances?

Temari was really good when she was younger, but is now rusty. Since she bassicly moved to Konoha around age 14-18. I feel like she retained a lot of cultural stuff from her youth, but did want to assimilate into Konoha culture. Especially after having her son. We can see this when Shikadai and Shinki interact, and how Shikadai acts in general.

Kankuro dances like a loser, but he has a lot of fun. It get to the point that people don't know if it's ironcly dancing like that or if he's actually really bad at it.

Gaara is proficient at it, but he almost never does it. The same way he is proficient with weapons, but prefers his sand. I feel like he does it once, and everyone looks at him like "wtf?"

Suna centric headcanon prompt- what kind of music do you think is popular in Suna? What kind of dances? Does Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro know how to dance them to perfection? What culture would they most resemble? (Song/dance examples are also welcomed)

[komatsunana]

Unpopular opinion, but I think Nana K and Takumi are really good for each other. I'm just really drawn to the both of them. I think that in his own way, Takumi does really love Hachi. Hachi is warm, motherly, and gentle, things that Takumi had always been deprived of ever since he was young. Even though Hachi is spoiled and childish she is a pillar of strength and loyal to a fault to her friends. Takumi can better ground Hachi to reality, and can accept her for what she is, and Hachi can soften Takumi.

I remember that scene in the bathtub when Hachi said that Takumi can rely on her, he was so surprised, like the concept of relying on someone else is so foreign to him, which is not surprising given his background. That's why that time when Takumi received the call about Ren's death, and he held Nana's hands, is all the more significant, because Takumi does not do that, he takes care of everything by himself.

I won't excuse his problematic behaviors, but who amongst the characters in Nana are not problematic? (Nana O with her possessiveness, Ren with his addiction, Reira and Shin's self esteem issues and struggle with their self worth)

Sooooo there is LOTS to unpack here, particularly with another ask I assume is from you.

What I'll focus on here is that,, I think the relationship is FAR tilted in Hachi making Takumi a better person than the other way around. Sure Takumi can give Hachi a reality check, but this isn't something that other character's couldn't provide Hachi if given the opportunity. Additionally, Hachi is 20, later turning 21. At that age, not many 20 year olds have a firm grasp of themselves and reality. Hachi's flightiness is part of her age. We see her growing up through the series and with or without Takumi, she'd be getting a reality check just by growing up. On the other hand, the things Hachi offers Takumi are things that no one else in the series is able to offer.

Take your example of Takumi taking Hachi's hand after getting the call about Ren's death. That is a very powerful example of how Takumi depends on Hachi, yes. But later, when Hachi is still processing her grief over Ren Takumi tells her without discussion that he won't be staying at their place. When Hachi, pregnant and grieving, cries and basically expresses that she's upset and needs his support... He just tells her to go stay with Nana, like it's obvious, like he hadn't just made plans all on his own and not discussed them at all with her. It's great that it worked out to both Hachi's and Nana's benefit to be together to grieve but as we find out... Takumi leaves Hachi at Nana's without any contact whatsoever. Prioritizing Reira's well-being over Hachi's. And while, true, Reira is in need of more direct comfort and care in her state... they have phones. A phone call, A TEXT would be sufficient just to check in. But he doesn't.

Additionally, at the end of the day... Takumi has raped Hachi twice that we've seen (chapter 29 and chapter 47), because rape isn't just physically beating someone into the act. She even says it's rape in chapter 48, though narratively it is treated as a joke. He also emotionally abuses her constantly, isolating her from others and belittling her when she implies he's jealous about Nobu when he is at least a little.

The way abuse works, the abuser has many more good and charming moments with their victim. That's why abuse victims stay which is why yes, Takumi and Hachi have lots of cute moments together. Those moments are why Hachi stays, why many abused people stay with their abusive partner at least in the beginning.

I do believe completely that in those future chapters we see ahead in NANA, Takumi is a much better person because all we've seen is that he does change and feel regret over his past behaviors. A better husband and partner to Hachi, and most importantly a loving father. But none of that means Hachi would ultimately be better off with their relationship. I do enjoy Takumi's character - he is among the most interesting characters of the series - but he definitely got the better end of the deal here.

Which brings me to the word problematic. I hate that word honestly, because it brings us to situations like this where we can distill people into being ~problematic~ without naming what qualities making them so. Takumi is a rapist and abuser and this is not equal with any of the characters problematic traits you've listed. That said, I'll say that Ren's problematic flaw is NOT being an addict. Being a drug user is not a moral failing, even if how someone treats people while using drugs can be. Ren's big failing is the same as Nana's - possessiveness even if it manifests itself differently. Also... one, struggling with self-esteem and self-worth are not problematic. Reira's issue is being an adult who is in a romantic and sexual relationship with a kid who is being sex trafficked.

One of the great things about NANA is the characters and their wide range of character flaws. I think the story is better off for having all of them, with all their flaws (even if narrative handling of some of those flaws could be better imo). That doesn't mean all flaws are equal. I respect that you have that opinion and I don't think it's as unpopular as you think. I just think you're on tumblr, where most users see rape and abuse as deal breakers. Go seek out the Instagram NANA fans or if you're interested in having a nuanced discussion about Takumi join my NANA Discord here.

Thanks for the ask and I'll answer the other asks in my ask box ASAP :)