#it is Too Early™ for you to be making me this emotional

[evilminji]

Oh god :Dc a Danny Summons Contract

No you guys DON'T UNDERSTAND-!

Just. Danny! Only Danny! He fucked up. Some ancient Warring States Ninja fucked up. They BOTH agreed to NEVER talk about it again.

Cause like? That ninja? Was a GROWN ASS MAN. A qualified BAMF of the highest order. He WAS the Danger, thank you very much. So, he? Will NEVER live down being saved by...well...

*holds up wildly struggling, noodle limbed, sad wet raccoon havin a terrible day lookin, meat thresher on legs*

THIS.

It's a BABY. Honestly, his Clan's TODDLERS know how to throw better punch. This scrawny infant baby child is both? His new son. AND an embarrassing trainwreck in motion. FFS kid, that's not how you- No! NO! Don't you DARE bite that opponent! You don't know where they've B-!

Kid they could have BEEN POISONED!!! Spit um OUT! DROP UM! Drop that RIGHT NOW! What are you? A dead Inuzuka? A god forsaken Hatake!? DROP IT!!!

It...sure is An Adventure™.

One of many early "here's how you DON'T make a Summoning contract" experiments, that Clans without seal masters were attempting. He's honestly lucky HIS attempt ended with him still... you know... ALIVE. Problem, though? After bunking for like... a few months? A year? In the command center?

And you know, terrorizing the GIW into complete collapse. Parenting him through some pretty serious life changes. Somehow making Sam MORE terrifying. And a whole host of off screen ninja shenanigans? They figure out? Oh. Only way to send him HOME is to either accept or refuse a Contract.

They gotta make one.

First they head to Frostbite for a recommendation, then? Off to a reputable Ghost Lawyer they go! They have to camp in the waiting room for like... a week. But? Worth it! The contract is AMAZING. And terrifying! Protects them both. Can't be used against EITHER. And that loophole you're thinking off? Ten pages worth of point 4 script, twenty three yards down, for why it's a BAD IDEA and breaks contract~!

Neither of them can make the other do SHIT! Only fully consensual, mutually beneficial, ass kicking here! If we FEEL LIKE IT!

Ninja dad insisted. Never sign a contract with anything less then extreme paranoia, kid! Leave no "implied" or "spirit of the rules"! Loopholes are holes in your armor, with which your enemy stabs you in the back!

Danny, tearfully, sends ninja dad home.

Gross. Emotions all over his armor. If only there wasn't all this sand in his eyes, he'd definitely complain about it. *stoic ninja hug*

Danny? Become a king. One of many. An Ancient. Becomes FUCKING HUUUUUUUUGE. Like? "Aw, your city is so pwecious~☆ n smol~♡! Whats it called again? New York?" Huge. A fuckin LEVIATHAN made of void, stars, and space ice. A Winter corpse, marked by lightning, that became the night sky itself. With a crown of aurora borealis, ever shifting, like flame.

Proportional, in a way, to Summon Bosses. Just as a normal human is to a normal toad, a normal cat, a normal slug. So too, is Danny LARGER then them.

You know... when he feels like it.

The contract? Passes down. Ninja dad does warn his kin. Prooooobably not gonna answer you. He only answers ME cause I'm, well, ME.

Fuckin BET. They declare. And lose. Repeatedly.

Time marches on. The Senju and Uchiha has their Drama. Dear KAMI do they Have Their Drama. Please Stop, says everyone. They... do not. The contract? Fuckin STOLEN. Because of course it is.

It's a HUGE, glowing, death radiating Summons Contract kept in a shrine behind like... SO MANY seals. It makes anyone less then a full grown JOUNIN physically SICK to even touch! Prolonged exposure kills people! Of COURSE it gets fuckin stolen. It's obviously a super, mega, ultra rare AMAZEBALLS Summon Contract... right?

Eeeeeeeeeeeh *so-so hand motion* KINDA!

It IS technically that.

They ain't wrong. Cause Danny IS an Adult now. A King. Connected to the Zone. An ANCIENT. Beyond and Above his mortal origins, even as, by being a Halfa, he is utterly the same. That contract is as close as one could GET to having a contract with the Sage himself.

You know... if he answered you.

Felt like your petty bullshit was worth getting up off the couch for.

Not to MENTION? He can make clones! Like.... billions of them now. Has a skeleton army. Is kinda one of the stronger Ancients. But that's not the point. The POINT? Clones. Don't have to be EQUAL facets of self.

You CAN make a .00001% clone of yourself!

Behold *summons poof noise* Lil Baby Man!

The harbinger of Danny! Here to Test Your VIBEZ™. He sends them each time. To be an adorable menace. Cause problems on purpose. Be gremlins, chew on table legs, maybe. You know, the works! They RADIATE his " I Am Death." Energy. But also his "winter, protection, and starlight" vibes... if you're brave enough to LOOK.

If you don't flinch away from a spirit of the dead. Can embrace the chaotic nature of a Zone ghost. Are kind to something that isn't what you expected, that you can USE, that appears weaker then you. Something that seems dumb. Distractable. Useless in battle.

Can you be kind? Do you immediately give up? To recognize a test when you see one? Is your first impulse cruelty? Distain? It tells Danny a lot. Saves him time.

Which? Is how a young Itachi, freshly Jounin'd, gets thrown through an old and rotting wooden gate into what LOOKS like a vaguely demonic death shrine. Hmmm, concerning. Baby 'tachi has been separated from his teammates. Is having a Bad Time™. The crows can't really help much here.

And, well, that IS a Summoning contract...

He's outnumbered. Low on both weapons and Chakra. Refuses to do anything BUT return home to his family. His baby brother. Is it WISE? No. It is in fact, incredibly, incredibly UNWISE. He has no idea what he'll be agreeing too. But... so long as he live just a bit longer...

He slams an earth wall against the entrance.

Falls back to the Glowing Contract.

Stumbles, as even landing near it makes his insides revolt. His skin prickle and burn. Colder then the nine tails Chakra, emptier, yet somehow endlessly more ABSOLUTE.

It's like the very Chakra in his body screams against it. Rejects it's mere presence. As though all thing alive REFUSE it with desperation and fear. He has no time to muse upon this. It hurt his hand to touch. He does so anyway. Struggling to hold the earthwall against enemy attacks.

He doesn't bother to read the contract. Flings it from the pedestal, to unravel, so he may sign quickly. There. With a practiced motion, he nicks his finger, and scrawls his future away. Whatever demons may come. Whatever monsters this brings. Please... let him live long enough to say goodbye.

The world CRACKS as he summons.

Death and the Shinigami are not the same.

Even those without the ability to sense are battered by the tsunami of... not killing intent. No. There is no intent. No killing. Just... knowing. Heraldry. That Death comes for us all. You can not escape. Foolish and small, is this what you waste your existence on? Ants before a god. Dust before the heavens. He... he can not... breathe...

Frozen. Eyes wide. Sharigan spinning, spinning, spinning. Capturing the delicate lace of nothingness, absence of life, as it drifts by. Unable to move from where he kneels, bloody hand pressed to the ground, in a Summoning.

What Has He Done?

Outside there is panic. Screaming. They flee. He... he wishes he could flee. W...why can't he-? *THHHWAP!* Mmmmph?! Something small and almost bird shaped smacks into his face like a flung ration. Tiny arms spread wide to cling to his bangs and dangle. The deathy power fades... almost... almost as though it were... a threat display?

He focuses on the tiny creature whining and hugging his face. It... is a floating snake toddler? Or is it dragon? They have sharp little claws and stars along their face, a tiny whispy mane of white. Likely a dragon child then. They stick their small tounge out slightly, eyes the blankly trusting stare of small children everywhere.

He clearly want to be carried. Ah. Of course, little one.

Did... did he agree to raise a dragon?

Just?

Itachi, smol. Serious. With lil baby man floped on his head or tucked lovingly in his arms. The TEXTBOOK definition of "he don't bite" "YES HE DO!!!" For everyone but Itachi and Sasuke. To whom he is, of course, an INNOCENT BABY who has NEVER done anything wrong EVER. An angel! Why is everyone being so MEAN to poor innocent baby man? Boo hoo~!

It fucks up SO MANY plans.

Because Itachi. A smol child. INSISTS he is a Father now. What are you going to do? Say he can be? Why? Because he's a CHILD? Which is it? Is he a Jounin or a Dependant? An adult in the eyes of the law or a child to be protected by said law from pushing him off to war? Old enough to die, old enough to parent his dragon son!

And SORRY Father, he CANT join Anbu. Who would be there for his child? Ah, he should join a parenting group. *various competent parent instincts go haywire over this tiny Uchiha child in need of parenting* Danzo? For some reason his son seems to really, REALLY hate him. Better avoid him. His child doesn't know yet not to bite respected elders.

Sasuke? Gets to be an UNCLE! To a DRAGON! He takes his job very seriously.

It's the best PR the clan has ever had.

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

[lalunanymph]

sucker punch (m) — sae itoshi

in the pivotal moments leading up to the most significant fight of his career against his estranged younger brother, sae meets a girl who turns his entire world upside down

warnings:- underground fighter!sae, fem!reader, heiress!reader, reader is coded to be feminine (wears dresses, makeup, heels, etc), language, cursing, mentions of blood, mentions of food, mentions of alcohol, suggestive content, unprotected sex, hate sex, oral sex, rough sex, petnames (princess, whore, slut, daddy's girl), power play between sae and reader, degradation, exhibitionism, sae's repressed emotions™

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ masterlist ࿐ྂ

✯ chapter 2

Aiku was furious when he heard the truth. 

“You slept with her?” he hissed. “With an investor?” 

At 7AM, it was too early to be harassed and lectured by his long time friend. Sae could barely keep his eyes open. 

“Yeah,” he muttered nonchalantly, picking up his cup of coffee and blowing steam off the surface, ignoring a vein popping from Aiku’s forehead. 

“You asshole.” 

Sae never did admit he was a particularly nice or smart guy. “Yeah, yeah. Pile it on me.” 

“You don’t get it, huh?” the other man groaned. “Sae, this isn’t some floozy girl you took back home after a night out. This is L/N Y/N. Her family could buy us out ten times over! You’re messing with the wrong woman.” 

Pausing the cup halfway to his mouth, Sae scrutinised his exasperated friend with a raised brow. When he didn’t say anything else, Oliver let out a heavy breath. The despair in his friend’s mismatched eyes almost made him feel guilty. Almost. 

“Tell me you at least promised to see her again.”

Sae’s silence stretched on. Oliver’s expression crumpled in disbelief. 

“Fuck,” Aiku groaned, like he was in pain. “We’re dead meat.” 

“I will,” Sae insisted, frowning. He set his cup down and fixed his friend with a determined look. “I can still make this right for us.” 

“You better,” Oliver warned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Or else we can say goodbye to the Ult Match and spend the rest of our lives in petty rings.” 

Despite how apathetic he was on the outside, Sae wasn’t an asshole on the inside. Aiku was an inch away from ripping out his hair, and he wasn’t a sadistic bastard to sit back and watch him do it. Sae would try to make it right with you for his best friend’s sake. 

“Fine. I’ll go to her office tomorrow and apologise.” 

A pair of green and purple eyes fixated on his neutral expression. “Sae… you can’t fuck it up for us.” 

Hard not to when Aiku was constantly harping on him to do better. But, his next words snatched Sae’s snark back before it had a chance to spew out of his mouth. 

“The boys… they believe in you, Itoshi.” 

Sae flickered his teal eyes to catch Aiku’s gaze. For once, his friend and manager was dead serious. “They see you as a way out of this life. Everyone is rooting for you to win. Don’t let them down.” 

A pedestal truly was a lonely place. Sae had never given much thought to how daunting the burden on his shoulders were until Aiku pointed it out through his less-than-poignant warning. The other boys in U20 had their eyes on him. They were waiting for his move; the blueprint to their next actions in this violent world resting upon his unwilling pen. 

Sae never asked for such idolisation or those inexperienced necks craned up towards him. He only wanted to fight. 

“Fine.” A million plans were running through his mind, starting with how he could get an audience with you. “I’ll try to convince her. Though, I am not going to stoop low enough to lead her on. I can’t afford to be distracted.”

Returning to his bastard ways when it came to women, Aiku smirked. “I know you won’t fall for her. Just charm her enough till the purse strings loosen. You’ll succeed. “

His friend’s faith in him restored, Sae stood up, slinging his suit jacket over his rumpled button down. 

“See you later.”

“Sae?” 

He craned his head back to find Aiku struggling with his next words. Eventually, the heterochromatic-eyed man pursed his lips. Sae expected another warning or a threat. Not what Oliver said next. 

“Good luck.” 

Foreboding. Hopeful. Oliver’s hopes and dreams were hinged on this entire meeting. 

A twitch appeared in the corner of his mouth. 

“Thanks. Expect good news later.”

His knee was bouncing rapidly up and down, a nervous tick he had not managed to get rid off since his childhood. 

Against his expectations, you had agreed to another meeting with him, the message relayed back to his stiff figure seated in the waiting room by your bored, matronly personal assistant. He wished he could pinch himself that this was real, but that witch behind the desk would judge him. Sae settled for looking around, drinking in your beige walls and calm lights. 

He wasn’t an artistic person per say, but your expert eye was obvious from the tasteful furniture you laid around this calming office, down to the stack of timeless fashion magazines on the coffee table. Sae thumbed through the thick stack when your assistant called his name, gesturing to your slightly ajar door with a roll of her eyes. 

Aiku’s voice chimed in the back of his head, lending him strength. Do this for the boys. 

Sae stood up, nodding his thanks. He was dressed in a casual sweater and jeans, which in hindsight, was making him sweat like a sinner in church. Sliding his clammy palms down the acid wash denim, he squared his shoulders and pushed your door open further. Your office was designed in the same scheme as the outside decor; elegant beige and wooden furnishings with gold accents. He suddenly felt too shabby standing in the middle of this space.

He hated to admit how his mouth ran dry at the sight of you. You were clad in a simple A-line dress and stockings, heeled foot gently tapping a sprightly rhythm against your desk. The morning sun bounced off your skin, giving it an admirable inner glow. Your ruby red lips were set in a neutral pout and you nodded in greeting when you caught his eye. 

“Hello again.” 

Sae wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, so he stuffed them into his pockets. “Hey. How’re you?” 

You shrugged, and he tried to not eye a loose strand of hair brushing your neck. “I’m fine. Tired, but nothing too bad.” 

He hummed and hawed, unsure of how to break the ice. Just last night, he had you pressed into your own sheets and screaming his name. Apparently, you were recalling the same memories he was. Your face flushed, and you were no longer an unattainable woman; right now, you reminded him of a young girl speaking to her crush in broad daylight. 

“What do you want, Itoshi Sae?” 

A repressed shiver fought to run down his spine. He liked it whenever you said his full name.

“Funding,” he mumbled, not sugar-coating his real intention. The young man took a deep breath, not above begging for your help. “I know we had a rocky start, but I’m doing this for my team and would like to humbly request your backing during the next match.” Balling his hands into fists, he waited for your answer. Sae was never good with words so he hoped his honesty more than made up for his standoffish personality.

Those pretty lips of yours pursed into a deeper pout. 

“Ego-san spoke to me this morning.” 

At the mention of Blue Lock’s infamous coach, Sae struggled to hold back a grimace. Had you already struck a deal with that asshole? He hoped you didn’t—if not he would’ve wasted his time coming over here to convince you. 

“And he shared with me Rin’s stats.” Scrutinising him from head to toe, you blinked. Innocent and curious. “That’s when I realised both of your last names match—Itoshi.” 

Sae’s heart sank slightly. As much as his entire family history was left out in the open for investors to pour over, something about the thought of you being privy to it made him nervous. Like he was about to fail an exam he didn’t study for. 

Your pretty, deep eyes met his, and in them was a world of curiosity. 

“He’s your brother, right?” When he didn’t reply, you pressed on. “And you’re standing before me, asking for money to injure and potentially kill your own younger brother.” 

His mind turned fuzzy, thoughts slowing down. You slid your gaze right to his tensed and closed fists. 

“Why?” 

Sae’s reaction was immediate. He pivoted on his heel and marched right towards the door.

“Wait.” 

A dark, deep anger was unfurling in his chest, but your command that was spoken from a higher power than his own standing made him instinctively pause. Sae’s entire body was rigid, and if anyone were to look closer, they would find his clenched palms trembling. 

He heard the crisp click-clack of your heels on the floor. Felt your hands sliding down his back in an empathetic touch. It took every ounce of his self-control not to turn around and bury himself in your embrace.

“I’m sorry.” Your tone was soft, regretful. “I only wanted to understand where you were coming from. I can give you the funds, but I want you to think this through. No matter what anyone says, a brotherly bond can never be destroyed.”

It was, Sae swallowed hard. It is destroyed beyond repair. But, he didn’t have the courage to put those thoughts into words. 

“I can handle it,” he chose to reply in a gruff, aloof tone. You let your hands fall to your side, at an impasse with the notoriously stubborn prodigy. 

“Okay,” you finally whispered. Sae turned around, and for a split second, you were graced with the rising sun of hope burning through his beautiful teal eyes. It was a breathtaking view, better than any scenic seaside you had seen throughout your life. “I’ll give you the money.” 

Without a caveat or a requirement. You sat back down behind your desk and nodded towards the door. “Ask your manager to send me an email. I’ll make the transfer latest by tomorrow.” 

Sae felt like someone had just punched him right in the noggin. Did this really just happen? His ears were ringing.

You had gone back to scribbling in your notebook, your brow furrowed and attention resolutely not on him. He couldn’t help but to admire the slope of your neck or how your messy bun made you look much younger than you were. 

“Why’re you still standing here?” 

You sounded amused more than hostile. Sae unwittingly took one step forward. 

“I’m sorry for this morning,” the words tumbled free from his loose lips before he could stop them. “If I made anything awkward or I hurt your feelings… I’m sorry.” 

Your forgiveness was given to him in a flash, a grace which he didn’t deserve. 

“We’re fine.” 

Till his dying day, Itoshi Sae would never know what compelled him to reach for your hand or for the next words to spill from his stiff lips. 

“Let me make it up to you. Have dinner with me.” 

Your wide, unblinking eyes spoke volumes of your shock. “Um. O-okay.” 

Gingerly letting your hand go, he bowed his head forward. “Thank you. I’ll pick you up.” 

“I can drive—”

“No,” his earnestness radiated beyond his exclamation, catching himself off guard. “Let me do it. It’s the least I… I can do.” 

Your answering smile was both unsure and sincere. “Okay. I’ll send you my address again.”

Sae returned your grin with a brittle one of his own. Then, he turned on his heel and left your office, feeling lighter than he dared dreamed; filled with a dangerous sort of optimism. 

And in his dark and bloody world, nothing was more lethal than hope.

As much as he liked to pretend that he was unaffected after every meeting with you, Sae could not lie to himself.

The days passed in a haze. One dinner became two, and then he was seeing you for the third time in a week, driving to your apartment where you always greeted him with a smile and a kiss. Sae found he liked how your mouth felt pressed to his own. It was like a sedative he could never get tired off, leaving his lips tingling and heart strangely full. 

Maybe this was how addictions began.

First, it was an innocent need to try it out for the sake of his curiosity. Then, one hit became four, and before he knew it, he was drowning in your magnetic field. You were the sweetest addiction he had ever encountered. Better than cigarettes or alcohol—he actually liked how you tasted on his tongue. 

“Sae,” your airy moan touched his neck. “Mhm… more… please…”

If you were his vice, he was your addiction. 

No one had ever touched you the way Itoshi Sae did. Not like you were a relic or a fragile piece of glass. His rough palms clasped your hips in a bruising grip, tightened around your neck when you begged him to let you cum; giving your cheek a small slap whenever he noticed your eyes rolling too far back into your head.

“Yeah?” he licked his kiss-bitten lips. “Wish your daddy could see his little girl now—how much she’s begging for some low class cock.” 

You preened and gasped, back arching at his taboo words. “Sae… d-don’t be mean…”

He nudged his face into the crook of your neck, adding another mark onto your already decorated throat. “You love it when I’m mean,” he whispered in between sloppy sucks and kisses. “Makes you cum harder.”

Your star-filled eyes strayed down his bruised chest in wonder, your own scratches and mouth leaving the same amount of destruction as his own marks had on your skin. 

He was fucking you nice and deep in your own bed, a pillow wedged under your hips and his fingers laced with yours, bringing them to the side of your head as his hips continued to languidly snap forward. You bit your lower lip, undulating your hips in tandem with his thrusts.

“True,” you laughed breathily. “But, you’ve been—mhm—denying me.”

He had, hadn’t he? Everytime you whispered you were about to cum, Sae switched the pace or the position. Going deeper, going slower. Fucking you shallowly. Slamming his entire cock into you until you could feel his head ramming your cervix. Taking his time to rebuild and orchestrate your climax.

Your hands were released, and they wound up in his hair, pulling him closer. In this position, your hips were tilted high enough for his pubic bone to grind down on your clit. It was also a perfect position to kiss him deeply while he grinded his hips sensually against yours. Doing his best to make you cum this time.

He barely noticed your smaller palm sneaking in between your two bodies until he felt your knuckles graze his hip. Glancing in between your joined sexes, Sae sucked in a sharp breath when his eyes zeroed in on your index and middle finger rubbing your clit. 

“Such a little slut,” he cooed, deep voice sending shockwaves into you. “G’na make me lose my fucking mind.” The last part was whispered under his breath, but you heard him all the same. 

Your giggle was both light and profound. “Yeah? Am I gonna make the big, bad Itoshi Sae fall for me?” 

His cool teal eyes appraised you, leaving no room for his mock displeasure when he circled his hand around your throat, choking you lightly till you gasped and your smile disappeared.

A shark-like grin and teeth flashing like knives lit up the dark room. “Don’t get too far up your head, Princess. This is purely physical for me.” 

Despite getting the upper hand, you would never let him win without a fight. “Good,” you choked out, baring your teeth. “Makes it easier for me to watch you die in the ring.” 

His thrusts sped up, fueled by your hatred. A thick thumb pried your lower lip down, pulling the plush flesh aside to run the calloused tip over your teeth. You sucked on his digit without prompting, earning a hazy flash of satisfaction in his softening teal eyes. 

“Feisty,” he murmured. “At least I know you won’t miss me. I won’t feel bad when I do this—”

With raw, untameable strength, he hoisted you from the bed, carrying you in his arms as your legs locked around his waist.

“Sae!” you squeaked, but he was already moving towards the huge, glass windows. Setting you down back on your feet, his cock slipped out of you with a lewd ‘pop’, stained with your juices. His tall and broad frame crowded you against the cool glass, and you whimpered when he pressed his aching dick to your hip. 

“Suck me in front of the city,” his order reached your heated ears as a silky whisper. “Show the world how much you truly hate me.”

For a split second, he could see a glimmer of surrender in your eyes. Maybe you would beg him to take you back to bed. Maybe you would promise him to be a good girl.

But, whatever your determination was made out of, it was the same as his. You would never back down from a fight. 

Taking him up on his challenge, you slid to your knees, ferociously beautiful eyes devouring his whole body with the intensity of his opponents in the ring. You wanted to kill him; Sae knew that. 

But, instead of driving a deathly fist into his sternum, you chose to wreck him in a different way. 

Uncaring that you were naked and covered in sweat right in front of a set of high windows which anyone from the opposite building could peek into, you glanced up at him, and slowly parted your mouth. Your eyes rippled close at the first taste of yourself on his cock. Sae watched, deceitfully unfazed as you licked up and down the prominent vein on his length, gathering enough spit in between your pursed lips to smear it over his weeping dick. 

The look in your eyes was breathtaking. 

He could physically taste your discomfort, but your ego was feeding off his own. Despite you being naked and on your knees with submission, Sae knew the truth.

It was you who controlled the entirety of this scene.

You held the strings when you raked your nails down his abs, scraping your perfect manicured tips over his balls. It was your hot mouth and tongue he was succumbing to.

His thighs were starting to tremble. Your mouth stretched into a grin, despite his length impeding your devious joy. With one simple push, you had him pressed against the windows, shuffling on your knees slightly so that you were bracing your hands on the cool glass and fucking your throat up and down his cock. 

Sae’s fingers tangled in your hair, roaming down your neck and shoulders. His expression was openly vulnerable, filled with an unravelling surrender which men had whenever they were at the precipice of their pleasure.

It took one flick of your tongue for him to spurt down your throat, thick and hot.

You pried your mouth off his length quick enough for his seed to splatter down your chin and neck. Some of it dribbled onto your heaving chest. Without his prompting, you locked eyes with him, drawing your trembling hands right to your tits and massaging his cum into them.

“Do you believe me now?” you whispered, voice hoarse and scratchy, kneading your tits in a way that had him hypnotised. You leaned forward to kiss his sensitive cock head, even as you spewed venomous words to contradict the tender gesture. “Do you believe how much I hate you?” 

Not as much as he hated you the very second he yanked you off your knees and drove you back to the edge of your bed. Sae’s snarl would be terrifying if he hadn’t followed it up with his mouth on your denied and desperate pussy. Peering down the line of your body, his auburn hair was dyed black by the night’s shadows, its sharp edges tickling your bare thighs. 

You tossed your head back, curling your fingers in his locks. 

The pent-up anger and heartbreak pushed you down the teetering edge of your most painful orgasm. Your clit pulsed against his tongue, your abdomen contracting rapidly as your body expelled a gush of slick which stained his chin and nose. Sae continued to lap through your folds even in the throes of your orgasm. He didn’t care that your legs were shaking or if you were begging for him to slow down. He wanted your surrender to be as agonising as his own.

After the world had stopped spinning, you found yourself in his arms, your face pressed into his chest. Sae was fast asleep, knocked out from the potent oxytocin cocktail.

You stubbornly tried to stay awake for longer, not willing to let the fight go even if there were no winners between your bruised and exhausted bodies.

Eventually, your eyelids must’ve slipped close on their accord, and you nodded off to sleep, curling your hand over Sae’s left pec and nuzzling your nose into his pulse point, comforted by these simple signs of his steadiness and strength. 

“You look like someone mauled you twice over.”

Aiku’s annoying lilt greeted Sae the moment he arrived into their makeshift gym. Setting his bag on the ground, he narrowed his eyes, not in the least bit embarrassed by the marks on his chest and neck.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s too early to deal with you.” 

The heterochromatic-eyed man laughed. “Whoa, slow your roll, you usually leave the swearing for 10AM.” 

Sobering up, his friend took one good look at him. “Were you with her?” 

Sae stiffened. Why should this fucker care? 

“Fuck off. And tell Shidou I’m ready for our training,” he mumbled coldly, completely ignoring Oliver’s innocent question. 

Knowing how stubborn his starfighter could be, the other man sighed. “I’ll get that roach in. Just—” he pursed his lips, eyeing the marks you left around his pecs and nipples. “—you know what… never mind.” 

Sae slipped on his gloves, ready to start the day. His schedule was easy to track: wake up, stretch, meditate, work out, lunch, workout, snacks, workout, tussle with Aiku or Shidou, and then hit the hay. Every wedge of the clock was decided for him to be as productive as he could.

But, he never factored in you. 

Instead of a clear mind and fresh air, he started the day with your arms curled around him and the sight of your sleepy eyes cracking open. Where are you going? Your hoarse voice reached him from where you were swaddled in your blankets.

“Out,” he muttered curtly, unable to turn around and face you. Knowing he would see your crestfallen expression.

When Aiku told him to charm their biggest investor, he never expected to be wrapped up in her body almost every single night. Sae didn’t hate it per say—but it was encroaching a dangerous territory. He was starting to grow comfortable beginning his day with you. 

The sandbag bore the brunt of his displeasure. He worked his muscles down to the ligaments, stopping for five minute water breaks and nothing else. The gym Aiku had rented for U20 was slowly emptying out, other fighters leaving for home or lunch. Even Oliver had packed up and left with a cheery wave, tossing the keys onto the counter and telling him to close up. 

Sae grunted in acknowledgement, returning back to his heavy hits and feigns. He was half an hour into his workout when he realised he wasn’t alone. 

Through the blurry exhaustion, he faintly made out your smile.

“Hey, champ,” you murmured, looking absolutely gorgeous in your tank top and linen shorts. So very different from the business-class woman he was used to. 

Sae blinked, standing up straighter. “Hey. What’re you doing here?” 

Shooting him a smile, you shrugged. “I was driving by the area and decided to survey the U20 gyms… you know, to make sure my investment is sound.” You approached him, and Sae felt something in his chest bump up a notch. Without hesitation, you yanked yourself up the firm ring skirt and into the ring itself. 

You surveyed the space with interest. Before Sae could open his mouth and gruffly tell you to leave, you rooted him to the spot with a sweet smile.

“Can you teach me some moves?” 

This time, Sae was too stumped to refuse you. He nodded, unsure of what power you held over him to make him agree to something stupidly dangerous for his heart. He walked over to you, engulfing you in his heat when he adjusted your stance.

��Part your feet wider.” When you hesitantly did as he ordered, Sae clicked his tongue, and nudged your ankles apart further with the tip of his foot. “Get into a steady base. Keep a neutral spine.” 

He taught you how to throw a hit, and almost smiled when you got it right the first time. Fighting comes naturally to you, he wanted to compliment, but the words were stuck in his throat.

Flushed and eager, you flashed him a smile that had his stomach flipping on itself. “How do you train everyday and not want to eat all the time? I’m starving!” 

Sae pretended to look over his shoulder at a blinking exit light so he could hide his half-smile. Your innocence was infectious. 

He turned back to you with his signature serious look, and said, “Let’s go for lunch, then.” You perked up. 

“Okay,” with a small chirp, you walked to the edge, but Sae beat you to it. He got down the ring, parting the rope and offering you his hand. 

“Some asshole broke his neck when he tripped,” he began to explain, in case you got the wrong idea, judging from your wide-eyed stare. “Don’t want you to end up dead on my watch.”

You fought back a smile, taking his hand. Sae surprised you by grabbing your waist, nudging an arm underneath your thighs to literally sweep you off your feet in a bridal style carry, until you were gently set back down onto the floor.

“Just how strong are you?” you managed to exhale when you got your breath and wits back. The imprint of his touch burned your skin and you swore you felt like your face was about to explode with heat. 

In answer, he flashed you a grin. The first time he had ever fully smiled at someone. 

“Really strong,” he bit on his tongue before he could add ‘princess’. He shouldn’t be calling you a pet name outside of the bedroom; not because it was wrong but because he would slip up and confuse you—confuse himself. 

Killing the voices in his head, he gestured for you to follow him to his car, enticing you with an offer you couldn’t refuse. 

“Ramen? My treat.” 

Boy meets girl, boy falls in love. 

At least, it was close to love as Sae could fathom. 

Without even realising it, his days and nights with you grew longer. The meticulous hours he portioned during his day growing out of whack the longer he spent time with you. Sae used to think he was above petty distractions; that he had a will of steel. 

Little did he know how much it started to creak and crumble whenever you reached out to touch him. 

Yesterday morning, you had found him in your living room, perusing through your stack of paperbacks. When you called out his name, the auburn-haired fighter nearly threw your copy of Before The Coffee Gets Cold under your couch. 

“You’re not very discreet,” you mumbled, coming over to him and pinching his blushing cheek. Sae huffed and withdrew the book from behind his back, scowling at the cover. 

“Why do you have this book?”  

His tone sounded almost accusatory, but, weeks of knowing him made you understand it was his embarrassment hidden behind his gruffness. 

“Because I love it,” you mumbled, and somehow, found yourself sitting on his lap, flipping through the pages and reading out your favourite parts. 

This little sliver of knowledge about your literary tastes gave Sae a burst of courage to invite you back to his own apartment. At first, he was worried it would be too threadbare for you, but you never commented on the lack of furniture or personality. 

“As long as you have a bed and hot water, you’re better than so many others,” you told him bluntly. Sae quietly agreed, his childhood on the streets flashing into his mind.

The pile of romance novels he had saved from the old bookstore down the street was the subject of your intense scrutiny. He thought you could’ve dug up his past through those yellowing pages; unearthed his every insecurity from studying which book was the most weathered and annotated. His fists were clenched at his side, teal eyes rapt on your relaxed figure.

Then, you snapped your eyes back to meet his and smiled so brightly, he almost forgot what he was afraid of. 

“Read this for me,” you gently pushed an old copy of Romeo and Juliet into his hands. Sae glowered, and he opened his mouth, about to refuse you when you stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “You have a nice voice. Read to me, please?”

For the second time in his short life, Sae found another person bundled in his arms, enjoying the simple delight of reading a book out loud while rain pattered down the grimy windows. 

There was a hollowness appearing in his chest, not from sadness, but an ache he couldn’t quite control. It reared its spiked head whenever you nuzzled his chest or kissed him softly. Demanded for him to devour every goodness in his path whenever he caught you smiling at him fondly.

Sae sensed you were falling in love with him.

And he was helpless to stop you. 

Yet, there was a gaping hole right above that monstrous hollowness. It clashed heads with the beast, demanding for a piece of your attention. Demanding to hold you till you solidified within his grasp. Until he could finally get rid of the knives lodging in his lungs and breathe freely. 

He curled a lock of your hair around his finger, tugging on it gently enough not to wake you up from your nap. You had nodded off to sleep when he was twenty pages into the book, curling into the crook of his arms. 

Sae snapped the crumpled paperback shut, and set it on your thigh. 

Your breathing was steady, lashes casting shadows over your cheeks. He ached to kiss each mark on your face, holding himself back from the monster looming in the back of his mind. 

But, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to press his lips right to your cheek. He pursed his lips in his own awkward rendition of a kiss, leaning back immediately when he felt your breathing stutter. The scent of vanilla and coconut from your skin stung him like a sweet rush of electricity.

I love her. 

Simple and kind. Those words did not strike him with fear, but a sense of realisation. 

Swallowing hard, Sae tried to tame the butterflies exploding in his belly. They fought to escape, ramming past his ribcage with the ferocity of a stampede. 

I love her.

He should’ve been afraid of such a revelation, but all Sae felt in this moment was pure, unadulterated peace. 

Boy falls in love with the girl.

And so, the story begins.

©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

[innocentsandsofdreams]

John Price x Reader Head Canons

Tags: soft Price, Price x Reader, reader is not gender specified, slight birth description, reader is higher rank than 141

Word Count: 826

Any ageless or minor blogs DNI

SFW

Honestly, how you and John got together was comical. Laswell had to call you in for help (against everyone's choice) and you came.

During the mission, you and Price was a squad and no one (not even the both of you) knew what happened

An explosion was set off and you and John were sent flying; you landed on each other and rolled down a hill and you eventually stopped. You're on top of Price laying on him, inches from his face. How movie cliche is that?

John remarks "You know, the least you could do is ask a man to dinner before laying on 'im"

"Well how about after this mission, you pick a restaurant and I'll pay", you say playfully.

John actually took you up on your offer -against everyone's groans of "cheap cliche".

Now 10 years later; having been married for five years, people start asking "Oh have you thought about starting a family?"

Well, both of you thought of it. Both of you didn't know how to bring it up. Finally, it came to a boiling point

On a date in a park, you and Price laid on a blanket in the grass

Just listening to the laughter of parents with their children, surrounding the both of you

Both of you blurt out, "Do you want to have kids with me?"

A moment passed and you both laugh. Elated both of you want the same thing.

Interested, John suggests you both go home and start trying

NSFW

He's an old school gentleman; walks you home and cooks you, dinner. Price just overall set the mood- what a standup guy™

Afterwards Price led you to the bedroom. He takes his time with you. After this, he tries to take his time, but it doesn't work out that way

Mans eats you out like a munch if you will. Live and die in between your legs like a three-course meal. Price swallow your juices like it was a desert oasis

John slowly fingers you, not wanting to stop eating you out yet

It takes you 2 orgasms and a lot of begging for him to come around and fuck you. finally

Putting multiple pillows under you; John puts your legs on his shoulders and starts driving his cock into you with a goal in mind

After relentlessly abusing your soppy hole, Price fills you with his cum and he is so horny happy just from the thought of it

Multiple trysts of deep fuckings and quickies, having been fucked one last morning before the sun came up; your efforts came to fruition

PREGNANCY

John has you go to a med bay and do at home pregnancy tests religiously until finally one of the at home tests came back positive. He was so thrilled, that to make sure, you guys got medically checked out and the tests do not lie my dearheart; you are with child

John supports you through everything with the pregnancy; the sickness, the fainting spells, the cravings, the emotions. He's just happy to be with you

All though he never judges (or at least tries not to) he really does side eye the ice cream and pickle juice

[inserts meme of the girl staring at the man's chest with big side eyes]

That being said, Price went through it all with you. For you

John loves you and his baby so much, if he could stop the world he would

Near the end of your pregnancy gets very distressed and never lets you do anything. He's on everything like a HAWK

Being so close to your due date, you thought the baby would be late; but no, you were so wrong

Your water broke a week early, in the early morning

It's 3AM and John thought you might have wet the bed. In all honesty you did too.

Then the contractions started and both of you realized it was the amniotic fluid

Price having over prepared the hospital bag, (since you guys were first expecting) took you to the closest hospital

You are screaming and squeezing the hell out of Price's hand (poor hand) as he's driving

Upon arrival John miraculously carried you inside and got you a room before even thinking of moving the car and grabbing the bag

After being situated John goes and grabs everything and then goes and park the car. Upon return, the man got everything you ever needed and more

Need to move around? Man is getting you up. Need ice chips? Already in hand

Eventually choosing the process of water birth, John got in with you, behind you of course so he can take care of you

Hours go by and finally the baby arrives in this world

Having you hold the baby for only a moment, John let the nurses take the baby and helps you out the tub

He helped you get dressed and helped with getting into bed before bringing the baby to you

Having held his baby, he can't help but crawl in bed with you and hold the baby between the two of you

(he's definitely not crying - lying)

Man is in for a treat ✨😌

[cinnamonest]

we've talked about mommy darling and Rhinedottir darling before for Albedo; have we considered Alice darling? sweet momma (soft and squishy...) with just enough crazy to keep Albedo intrigued, and she's so much nicer than Rhine, really wants him to think of himself as part of the family. comes pre-packaged with a kid, too! and if i could be so bold, she's probably still lactating by the time Albedo comes along

only issue is the husband being in the picture still, which Albedo doesn't like, and the fact that you keep running off for Celestia knows what and leaving him behind, which Albedo really doesn't like. you put him in this family, take some responsibility. he won't tolerate a second neglectful momma- er, female... role model...

bless his little artificial heart, he's trying his damn best

In love with this concept anon, as much as I love Creator!Darling there's also an appeal to our baby boy getting this stark contrast of someone treating him nicely for the first time and having no idea how to handle it, developing an obsessive attachment but because it's Him™ he just cannot keep it healthy or sane, poor thing.

He finally gets to meet you after hearing about you before, and you're so sweet and gentle while you talk to him, but he just can't pay attention to anything you're saying because he can't un-glue his eyes from your blatantly swollen tits… it's not fair, it's too distracting. He likes to think of himself as mature and self-disciplined, so it's quite annoying and shameful that he feels so captivated, frustrating that he can't stop himself from looking.

Nor can he stop the weird feeling in his chest. Especially if it's shortly after his abandonment — he's in a state of emotional distress and pain, feels so lost and unwanted and here you are all sweet and doting. It's not just that it's a substitution for his Master, rather, you're nicer and sweeter l, in all his life he's never been treated so well.

Master was always so harsh and biting in her tone, always criticizing him, always manipulating him with threats to leave — and until now, that's really all he's known. But you, you're sweet, even if there's more distance between you two because you don't know each other as well. You smile at him and say nice things, you ask him about himself, you tell him to let me know if you need anything.

It feels strange. It's uncomfortable, in a way, feels like someone peering into his mind and heart, it's vulnerable and makes him squirm, yet, it feels good, he likes it, despite the discomfort. He’s not naive nor lacking self-awareness. He can recognize it for what it is from the start, and for that reason, he desperately seals it away early on, knowing it would not work, knowing you have a family, knowing there's a gap in your stages of life and maturity.

But it’s not wrong to notice you like him, right? Even if not in the same way. He knows you feel positively towards him.

It really hits him hard when, once day, there's some virus or another going around, he catches it and ends up having to stay at home sick, in the little lodging he's been provided in the town. He thinks nothing of it until you come knocking on the door.

You sigh in relief when he opens the door, say you were worried when you hadn't seen him all day. Your eyes widen when he explains (with a stammer he hopes you don't notice) that he's sick.

And your reaction feels so foreign. He's used to a sharp glare, a frustrated sigh, being told to suck it up and get over it and stop making excuses. But you, you start to fuss and coo at him, tell him to go rest, say something about how you'll get him some hot tea and run off, leaving him standing there, staring at the empty hall.

You noticed he was absent. He crossed your mind. It makes sense, in a way, but it just feels so… warm, fuzzy.

He crossed your mind. You think about him. You missed him. How much do you think about him? Do you do it every day? How much space in your mind does he occupy? How significant is he to you? There's this swelling feeling in his chest.

But he's often realistic to the point of pessimism, and so he suppresses the childishly hopeful thoughts with bitter self-criticism — telling himself he's being foolish and ridiculous and self-important to think it's anything more than just by chance, that you just happened to think of him for some reason. Taking that innate sense of wishful thinking in the most vulnerable depths of the heart and crushing it himself before reality does it for him. Less painful that way. It doesn't mean anything, he shouldn't hope for anything, he can't let himself form feelings that are just going to bring him pain in the long run.

And he does try to distance himself from you, for some time. It's like a form of addiction — he really does try, but he finds himself moving on a mental-autopilot anyway, seeking you out, letting the words of are you doing anything later? fall out of his mouth on their own and feeling so elated when you happily, willingly spend time with him.

And in time, he even lets himself start to think too much, stops pushing away those absurd thoughts that he knows better than to allow himself to have because he knows that if he has those thoughts and lets them fester, he's just going to get hurt, because the fantasies will never come to fruition, the feelings will never be reciprocated. He lets himself feel some sense of pride and pure bliss and vague sense of irrational hope when you tell him how grateful you are that he takes such good care of your precious girl when you ask him to look after her and how you're so happy he's bonded to her and tell him that she really looks up to him.

Lets himself bask in your praise and lets himself ride the euphoric high a single nice word from you brings him all day, rather than suppressing it. Lets himself look forward to seeing you, something he felt was only going to go badly for him and thus suppressed before.

Lets himself indulge in long drawn-out fantasies that he knows are so unrealistic and shameful, gradually progressing over time from embarrassingly vulnerable thoughts of your praise and kindness and affection, allowing the depravity and perversion he's repressed to slowly seep out further and further until the fantasies progress into those that have him locking his door and panting and gripping the table with his other hand until he's shivering and slouched over in the shameful clarity that follows.

He also tries to fight these thoughts and feelings initially not only because they're shameful and vulnerable, but because these feelings are accompanied by a much darker feelings, too.

One that is strictly unpleasant, rather than the other, more confusing uncomfortable-but-good feelings. This burning, twisting feeling in his gut and chest, whenever he sees you with others, particularly when you smile or laugh. The way the bitter heat blazes whenever he thinks about the fact that you had to be with some other man to have your child. The way his muscles tense and his eye twitches and he grips his utensils harder as he works. He's certain those feelings aren't good — rather, they're very bad, dangerous even.

The other is the longing, yearning pain when you're gone. He has to struggle to summon the motivation to work — what's the point, when he won't see you all day? The work itself isn't motivating enough anymore like it used to be — something that concerns him, yet remains true all the same. He works slower, he mopes, he doesn't do much of anything until you return, at which point his mood suddenly does a complete reversal, and he feels happy and good and motivated again. He knows that's not good, he knows that degree of dependency is alarming, but it's beyond his ability to resolve. It's a frustrating feeling, identifying a problem but having no way to resolve it.

The feeling of frustration only grows when the yearning itself begins to metamorphosize. It shifts over time, a sad longing that begins to turn to frustration, then bitterness, and finally reaches a low, dark resentment. One he knows is irrational, but the thoughts come anyway — why would you leave him alone here? What's more important than he is? Doesn't he deserve to have you stay with him? Don't you realize he's sad when you're gone?

Didn't you once say you'd be there if he ever needed anything? That you'd help him in any way you could? How do you intend to do that when you're gone so often, huh?

These thoughts can only grow worse with time, and yet, by this point, it's not a matter of letting himself do anything — the thoughts just happen, flowing out without any reign, and even if he tries to summon some restraint, they just slip through. Spiteful, bitter, vengeful, selfish, childish thoughts, darker —

(If you're just going to use him to take care of your kid, shouldn't you treat him like a partner, too? Isn't that selfish of you to not give that to him? Doesn't he do a lot for you? Doesn't he deserve a reward?)

— and darker and darker —

(Maybe you do know how he feels. You're just pretending not to. You know. You're just using him. You're taking advantage of him.)

— and he lets his mind sink to its lowest point.

You're just like her.

Yes, the bitterness gets strong. A sense of entitlement, frustration, a sense of transgression. You just dump your kid off on him to help care for, and then leave? And then you have the audacity to give him money, gifts, so on and so on when your return from your long trips.

As if that's what he wants, as if he cares about things like that. It feels insulting, almost, he'd rather have nothing if you're not going to give him what he actually wants. It feels like some pathetic attempt at substituting, even if rationally, he knows you don't mean it that way.

But bitterness easily overrides rationality, and so maybe he can let himself feel that way. Let himself feel a bit mad about it. Let himself grind his teeth and clench his hand into a fist when you start talking about your next journey you're planning, even if he responds with perfect calmness in his voice, a skill that strikes him as increasingly remarkable when he's so so so damn mad on the inside.

And maybe, if the frustration becomes more than he can bear, if it overrides his sense and inhibition entirely, he can finally let himself act on it too…

[longtallglasses]

okay now more byler headcanons slightly older - the miwi ones

mike is a huuuuge physics nerd. he studies it on his own before taking it in hs, going to the library to get books on it and textbooks to figure out equations. when he learns a new concept he excitedly tells the party, who all share in his joy to varying degrees. in hs him and dustin compete to be the star student of the class both becoming quite the teacher’s pet. will loves hearing mike explain different phenomena with all the big terms. he doesn’t really struggle that much with it in class but he pretends to be stuck more often than not just to watch mike explain a concept with enthusiasm. will asks “can you explain this?” and mike’s eyes light up so excited to get into it. and will also loves that when he does finally “get it” mike praises the shit out of him.

every time will’s over and changes in front of him mike immediately averts his eyes, and he doesn’t understand at first what makes him so uncomfortable bc he doesn’t react that way w anyone else

when will’s starting to realize his feelings for mike are becoming very serious he tries to train his brain to think of something else whenever mike pops into his head. although most of his distraction topics tend to remind him of mike anyway.

they both could notice something shift between them when hs started but they pretended like everything was normal.

when mike visited in lenora will noticed how mike’s smile seemed forced and he thought it was bc maybe mike wasn’t that excited to see him - that maybe mike really was “out growing” him

when the party get drunk together for the first time mike and will gravitate towards each other like magnets. becoming very hushed and giggly together, and the whole party thinks “okay figures”

the small sober part of both their brains is quietly thinking “wait why can’t it be like this all the time?”

mike finds himself grabbing will’s arm with everything he says, subconsciously trying to pull him closer, thinking crazy stuff like “i wanna be all over him” not even knowing in what way or why really, “whoa being drunk is weird, it makes me even more obsessed with my best friend…”

meanwhile will is like why is mike so touchy now, i don’t hate it, i really like it but what’s going on? why is he looking at me like that? am i crazy or is something happening right now?

they probably end the night drunkenly telling each other how much they love each other, how they’re each others best friend, like Best Friend™ thinking that will help the gnawing feeling in their gut subside when they look at each other

they used to hug much more when they were younger, in greetings and goodbyes, but they noticed that most boys didn’t do that as they got older, even lucas and dustin didn’t, so then it became a secret thing, only when they were completely alone. but after a particularly brutal dressing down from lonnie and harsh words from bullies it seemed to stop completely. only when it was truly warranted, if they had some real justification for it. like getting hurt, skinning a knee, crying, then it was okay.

when they get drunk that first time they hug each other very intensely, mike says “i wish we could do this all the time” will says they can if they want, and then starts them trying to let themselves be more familiar w each other again

when they first get together mike is overwhelmed at random moments looking over at will that all of it is real, will loves him and he loves will too, attacking will with kisses all over his face bc “oh my god oh my god i like you so much what the fuck!” will has to beg him to stop but of course he loves it and feels similar feelings take over him too

sitting and admiring mike while he’s doing whatever, maybe he’s talking or just walking around, temporarily forgetting where he is and mike looks over at him smiling and will is just a puddle of emotion that he gets to be with mike.

also during their early relationship will has to constantly remind himself that he doesn’t have to hide what he feels for mike. he doesn’t have to look away or hold his tongue. mike calls him out on it thinking maybe something is upsetting him but will is just worried that he’ll be too much. he’ll say too much or seem too clingy and it will scare mike off with just how much will likes him. (part of him knows it’s silly when mike’s confessed so much to him at this point but it’s still scary!) once he’s reassured he can express whatever he wants will slowly discovers a whole side of himself that was lying dormant. feeling more open with his feelings than he ever has <3

[cartoonybus]

Love Händel Headcanons

cw for allusions to drugs, sex, disordered eating, homo & transphobia, sexism

|All Three|

• they were all born around 1960

• they all met in high school

○ Danny met Swampy when he was running late one day. he went to lock up his bike while Swampy was smoking in the bike shed. Danny bummed a cigarette off him and they started chatting

○ Bobbi and Swampy had been aware of each other (they'd both been in band in middle school) but didn't properly meet until they got kicked out of class on the same day

○ at some point, both Dan and Bob sat with Swamps at lunch on the same day. then the next. and then the next. and then--

• They all had interest in hard rock before meeting but Bobbi was actually the one to introduce them to metal music and the metal scene

• they held regular but informal jam sessions for years, using the dilapidated shed in Danny's backyard before ever forming a band

• the decision to start a band came during an early 80s blunt sesh. they were having a deep conversation about what they wanted out of life. none of them wanted to go to college or join the corporate world or start a family. danny always dreamed of being a rock star. and since they were all musicans, yeah, why not!

• 'Music Makes Us Better' is what their typical repertoire sounded like back in the day, and 'Snuck Your Way' was their odd ball. though when they reformed they experimented more and became less strictly metal

• they never had a manager; they always split their earnings three-ways. in the early years they took turns organizing gigs and venues

• they grew a small, dedicated fanbase in their early years, being big fish in a small pond in the Tri-State Area music scene. by the mid-80s they were popular enough to be featured in independent subculture magazines and college radio shows, and eventually started touring the country by '84

• however, they didn't sell out many venues until they blew up in popularity with 'You Snuck Your Way into My Heart'

• overall Love Händel was started in '81, and their career lasted from '82 until '97

• Sherman was the first to leave the band. since he was the Heart™, Love Händel folded days later (the concert Linda and Lawrence went to wasn't a planned farewell concert, it was just the last show before they broke up. it just became colloquially known as The Farewell Concert)

• they are dudes from the 80s; they're all emotionally constipated. gave each other a lot of the classic "dude are being vulnerable rn? what are you, a girl?" type of shit. so a LOT of their conflicts are caused by suppressed emotions finally blowing up and their inability to communicate with each other

• honestly they could be pretty vicious with their banter at times; if you overheard them then you'd think they despised each other.

• though tbh if anyone outside of their trio ever gave one of them even 10% the attitude they have each other, the other two would flip their shit ("fuck you YOU can't talk to him like that! only we can!")

• and that said, after the events of DWGTBBT when they decide to try being friends again, they elect to go to group therapy (affectionately referred to as 'couples therapy' and 'our rock'n'roll guidance counselor'). that, plus their "old age", has softened them up a bit

• they explored each other's bodies--*armed guards tackle me to the ground*

• back in the day their favorite movies to rent together are 'Buckaroo Banzai', 'Rock: Its Your Decision' (esp while stoned), and 'This Is Spin̈al Tap'. For the holidays, they like to throw on the 'Black Christmas' and 'Muppets Christmas Carol'

• they're all snobby in their own ways; Danny with music esp rock, Bobbi with fashion and art, and Sherman with literature and classic comedy (though he's the least likely to be a dick about it)

• they all have poor self-esteem in their own, though similar, ways; at various points in their lives, they've all been made to feel like they were obnoxious and "too much". they found solace in music and in each other. playing together makes them feel special, accepted, or useful

• they informally reformed after DWGTBBT, usually playing at local events while Sherman was on his lunch break (technically Bob and Danny were on break too but they're their own bosses so their breaks could be whenever). they officially reformed full-time before the events of Across the 2nd Dimension. they were setting off for their reunion tour when the Normbots attacked

|Danny|

• his full name is Daniel Alexander Makriyannis

• was an only child, but grew up close with several cousins who were basically siblings

• Greek American; his dad's parents immigrated in the 1920s, his mom was born in Greece but moved to the US as a kid to live with an aunt

• grew up in Peoria Illinois where his upbringing was painfully average

• got his first guitar for his 10th birthday

• before then, he started spending a lot of his free time just hanging out at the local music store, and eventually became a pseudo-son figure to the store owner, Mac

• when he was 12 he was actually hired (under the table) at the store as his first job. he mainly did small jobs like cleaning and moving stock in the backroom. he was promoted to cashier around 14

• his dad worked as a desk jockey at a toy factory and was transferred when Danny was 16, forcing the family to move to Danville

• naturally, Danny was devastated about leaving behind his friends, family, and city to move to the suburbs

• for years he was the only member of the band who has ever had a driver license

• cis bi man; it didn't click until he was 30. he'd always been aware of his attraction to men but subconsciously repressed/downplayed it ("its totally normal to get horny looking at dudes and for your heart to hurt when you see queer shit it doesn't make me gay im straight iM STRAIGHT")

• hasn't been with a man before, but dated several women over the years

• a couple of years after the band broke up, he met and was briefly married to a woman named Trish, but that started and fizzled out in <3 years.

• as a young man, his main flirting tactic was to flex his knowledge of and opinions on music. he usually came across as a dick so it never really worked

• not really an athlete but definitely the most active and physically fit of the band. he weight trains and goes for runs at least once week

|Bobbi|

• his full name is Robert Eric Gaitán

• an only child

• naturally brunette. naturally hairy too but shaves his body

• whenever he has a cold, he sounds like Candace-on-parsnips

• grew up Catholic. neither he nor his parents were very religious, they just went to church on Sundays and for big holidays because, well, "that's what you do"

• he was only in the church choir for a couple of years, but it really helped him develop his vocal range. it also taught him how to read sheet music

• his parents are from Mexico. his father was a tailor and his mother was seamstress, and they met when they started working in the same shop in Monterrey

• they later eloped to america, where they moved around a lot (Bobbi was born in Chicago) before settling in Danville when he was little

• his parents never taught him Spanish while he was growing up. it was not out of shame, just studies at the time thought speaking Spanish at home would make it harder for kids to learn English, and they wanted to give him a headstart (in fact, they were ecstatic when he chose Spanish as his language class in high school)

• his parents didn't pressure him into joining the family business, but they insisted on teaching him the basics of mending clothes. as a tween he asked to be taught how to read patterns and how to use the sewing machine

• he's a cis(ish) gay man; he's known since was 11 or 12

• when he realized he was gay he broke down and was despondent for several days. he felt like he HAD to tell his parents and it took him weeks to build up the courage to do so

• his parents, for their part, were surprisingly okay with it (if in a fearful "don't tell anyone, this stays within the family, don't act gay in public, this is your cross to bear. love you <3" kinda way)

• honestly they were way more distraught when he dropped out of college to be in Love Händel

• he's been naturally fey his whole life but starting in middle school he did his best to hide it, mostly by keeping quiet. when he spoke he tried to keep his voice low, giving short clipped responses, and he'd sit on his hands or cross his arms to keep from being expressive. during interviews with the band, it made him come across as rude and cold, so he was the least popular among fans

• however, he let himself relax and be himself around his closest friends (including Danny and Sherman ofc). and when the band broke up he had a "fuck it" moment and stopped masking all together, letting his genuine personality shine through all the time.

• he hasn't officially come out of the closet to the public, though his sexuality has been an open secret in the industry for years

• has had a poor relationship with food most of his life. he's never been officially diagnosed with an ED, but his eating habits are definitely disordered and unhealthy. he passed out from hunger multiple times in the 80s and 90s.

• in high school he had a deep connection with an exchange student from Montreal named Wendel Ngo that definitely would've turned romantic if either of them acted on it

• a hopeless romantic but has the worst luck dating. like, murphy's law levels of bad luck. the men he dated weren't awful, it just seemed that something crazy would happen early in the relationship that'd end it. like, a-boulder-crashing-through-the-café-they're-in-and-running-his-date-over levels of crazy

• simultaneously touch-starved and avoidant as hell

• is genuinely a talented hairdresser, just his signature 'do is, well, his signature! plus one of the most popular styles requested at his salon

• went bald due to the stress of the band dissolving, malnutrition, and because hair bleach in the 80s was straight up corrosive

• he has a French bulldog named Basquiat whom he spoils rotten. she's not allowed on the couch though (she gets her own)

|Swampy|

• his full name is Sherman Lee Lundy (his birth name was Marcia Anne)

• has a sister named Glenda who's 2.5 years younger than him, plus half-siblings he's never met

• his parents never married. his father left when his mom was pregnant with his sister

• since said mother had to work A LOT to keep her kids fed, they were basically raised by their Nana

• he got the nickname 'Swampy' from his Nana--his mother called him 'Marshy' as a baby and because his Nana is a real Wise Guy™ started calling him Swampy, and it stuck.

• trans & bi; he's known he was a boy since he was little but didn't realize he was into men until high school

• similar to Ringo, he was "The Weird One" but got the most fan mail

• also got laid the most, though didn't date very much (it was easier to stay stealth while making out in a car at night than while going out to dinner)

• slouches so much because 1) drummer 2) he didn't get top surgery until his 40s so he tried to make his chest smaller that way 3) tbh when you read you have to slouch majority of the time

• his Nana was pretty supportive, if clueless. like she never really "got" what "transgender" was, but if little Swampy hated his name and wanted to he referred to as a boy, that was fine by her ("I used to be in vaudeville, I've known plenty of inverts").

• when he hit puberty and his boobs started coming in, she dug through their attic and found an old sewing pattern for a Symington Side Lacer--a proto-binder from the '20s, meant to achieve flat silhouettes. she made Swampy a few lacers of his own, including the mesh one he wore on tour

• though he didn't get his name legally changed until he was an adult, he picked out the name Sherman for himself as a little kid; he named himself after Herman Munster but "didn't want to make it too obvious"

• his mom was too busy with work to really react or intervene with his transition. one time she came home early and walked in on him chopping all his hair off. she just sighed, pinched her nose, and told him to sweep up when he was done

• since he's been openly a boy pretty much her whole life, his sister didn't know he was trans until they were adults; when she was little, she saw baby photos of a girl who wasn't her and heard mentions of a 'Marcia'. when she asked Nana and Swampy about "her" they hastily said things like "no one, don't worry about it" so. she became convinced she had an older sister who died that no one brought up because it was too painful

• as a tween, Glenda had a short crocheting phase (it was the 70s after all), and Sherm picked it up after she dropped it. It's something he still does to this day

• he was a classic hyper 'he's not dumb he's just bored' ADHD kid when he was little

• always had an interest in learning music, but was directed towards the drums to get his energy out. fortunately it became his passion

• he's best at drums, but he knows how to play A LOT of instruments; guitar, piano, trumpet, marimbas/xylophone, the theramin

• i know 'chaotic gremlin energy' is considered cringy tumblr speak or whatever, but there's no other way for me to describe him as a young man. weed REALLY mellowed him out

• always loved reading and read through all the books in his house multiple times. even the dictionary

• honestly because of he's so well read he has info/trivia/quotes for almost any situation

• refuses to elaborate on what he was doing in a metronome factory in the first place

• he loves most genres of literature and fiction, though never really got into poetry

• just one of those people who's naturally good with kids. at family gatherings and stuff the kids just gravitate towards him

• because of that and working in the library for so long, he's the most up to date with what's cool with the kids these days. he's still considered Uncool though

• keeps in regular contact with his sister and Nana, calling them at least once a week but often more. not as close with his mom but they're friendly and talk when they run into each other.

[the-mandawhor1an]

6 months later...

TLDR: it's Zaddy's and my RP 'anniversary'; artworks; Wolke being emotional about her Tumblr experience; and a fluffy one shot/drabble at the end of the WAY TOO LONG POST

I've alluded to it before, I've commissioned some artwork of the two lovebirbs and they just so happened to get finished this week. Huge thanks to @kenobiwanx for making the two come alive 😭 I can NOT stop staring at them.

LOOK AT THEM 😭😭😭

Yes these are spoilers for upcoming events but I just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@zaddymandalorian Überraschung!

Back to the actual point *wipes tears off her face*

Let's set the scene...

My dearest Zaddy and I reconnected in November of 2023 as I had been on a work trip at that time and I needed someone to talk to. We'd been talking on and off for the last months, mostly smalltalk and sometimes me complaining about stuff. Worth mentioning is also that I sent her my Maia fanfic back in June. First person to read it besides myself. I've known Zaddy since spring of 2016 ish (which also means I've known her longer than my husband – fun fact) so I felt comfortable with her reading my extremely self-indulgent shit. Everyone needs friends like that ♥

We mused about the roleplays we lost to forum admins being ruthless in their inactive-thread-deletion efforts every 4 months. We had barely started a Witcher RP and I'm sure it would've been awesome if we had continued. We literally stopped 7 ish posts in so nothing had happened really. – Why was it inactive? Well I took a 14 month roleplay hiatus due to me being chronically fatigued. The joys of working a stressful job and being severly anemic. Oops.

I tested the waters and made an offhand comment about maybe giving in and asking her to plot something with me.

This is a very convincing re-enactment of what happened: (translated because we're German potaters)

Well... and that's when the fun began

I, being a total Pedro fangirlie, asked if we wanted to just take the synopsis of my fic and run with that. She agreed, I was happy, she was happy.

So it's been 6 months.

OH. MY. GOD.

I did not think I had it in me to be consistently posting daily for 6 months. We've laughed, we've cried, we've lost sleep over it. We've grinned into our phone screens like maniacs at work and luckily no one asked

And now, 260k words later, I'm still in love with the babies. In fact I'd say I love the little blorbs even more now. Maia has a face, she has outfits (multiple!) she has a family and a story (that's only about 1/3 written so whew we might make it to a million)

Of course I also love Zaddy very much (and I will keep lovebombing your ass, bitch 🖤💜)

You know what, fuck it, I'm mentioning more people. Buckle up! Wolke spreads some love!

@immarocketman for being the first person on Tumblr that I kind of clicked with because we share a love for Pedro and the color purple 💜

@roughdaysandart for 1) allowing me insight in her creative process making a Fanfic comic and b) doodling Maia basically as soon as she made an appearance in text form 💜

The moots: @thefrogdalorian @djarins-cyare @djarins-wife @pedroswife69 for interacting with me, commenting on my posts and being real cute in general 💜

Everyone that ever interacted with me on here has been nothing but friendly, I feel extremely welcome over here. Everyone who liked/reblogged or commented on my posts, thank you so much. 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Now that the sappy whining is over, who wants to read something actually interesting?

In spirit of me being overbearingly loving, I've typed up a bit of fluff from the lovesick fools™ of Clan Mudhorn. Unbeta'd.

It was early in the morning, the sun barely over the horizon and engulfing the room in warm orange light, when Din awoke, a soft and warm body nestled into his side. She let out the softest little hum when he buried his face in her hair, wrapping his arms around her to hold her close.

"Sleep," he purred into her hair, placing a kiss on her forehead when her face turned towards him. Again, with a quiet hum, she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "How am I supposed to sleep when my husband has his hands all over me?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized and gently stroked her hair. "Why are you awake anyway?" she asked, finally raising her head so her sleepy, green eyes looked into his. "Hey mesh'la," he greeted her with a smile, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I don't know. I guess the sun woke me up, it's too bright in here." He sighed. "I miss the hut on Nevarro, it was always dark in there." "Come on, it's not that bad here. We needed more space anyway."

She pulled away from him, rolling over so she was on her stomach, hugging the pillow underneath her to get a better look at her everything. "Is the sun too strong, my warrior king?" a grin crept onto her lips as her eyes blinked slowly. Clearly this was way too early for her liking. To be fair, last night went on for longer than anticipated. "Are the little troublemakers awake yet?" She raised her head and turned to face the door. For now it seemed peaceful and quiet in the adjacent rooms.

Knowing well she would rise from the bed to check if he didn't stop her, Din hoisted himself over her body, practically pressing her into the mattress with his body weight. "You're not getting up to check on the kids now, cyar'ika," he muttered, peppering kisses along her shoulder. A chuckle escaped her lips as she rotated her head so she could see him in her peripheral.

She was so glad the mattress was soft enough to just give in under the weight, forming a perfectly human-shaped dent to make way for her body. "Whatever you say, great Mand'alor." For just a second she could feel him grind his pelvis into her butt.

He kept on pressing kisses on her neck, her shoulders, slowly crawling down her spine, kissing every little scar he found on his descent. "You really have to stop saying it like that." "Like what?" "With the bedroom-voice." He stopped to crawl back up to her head and leaned forward, giving her the chance to look into his face. His eyes were darkened, one of his eyebrows twitching upward.

"You're insatiable," she laughed, shaking her head. He slowly lifted off of her, immediately wrapped both arms around her and pulled her onto his chest. "That's your fault, my love." His voice was warm and silky, the vibration in his chest making her shudder. "My fault?" "You're just too beautiful so I can't keep my eyes or my hands off of you for long." "Di'kut" "Gar di'kut, forever." "Forever is a long time," she said softly and ran her fingers through his hair.

"And I'll be happy to spend every minute with you. I love you so much" he took her hand in his and softly kissed her knuckles. She sighed and watched him kiss every finger, eyeing her intently. She was mesmerized by his eyes, almost hypnotized by the dark brown, with the orange light surrounding them it reminded her of embers, glowing and warm.

Forever was a long time and although it didn't feel like it, time was progressing, evident by the threads of silver that sparkled in his dark brown curls. And although she felt like she herself was showing signs of ageing, he always told her she was as beautiful as the day he met her. "I love you more, mesh'la," she replied and rested her hand on his cheek.

"You and the kids are everything to me. I would die for you," he mused, closing his eyes as her finger brushed over his beard toward his lips. Her movements halted and the dark brown eyes reopened, scanning her features for signs of her sudden stop. The small crease on her forehead was enough for him to know exactly what was troubling her.

"Look at me," he pleaded with her, cupping her cheek in one of his hands now. "I know that look on your face. I would doesn't mean I will. Stop thinking about it. I'm here and so are you." Her hand slowly retreated to rest atop of his, thumb brushing over his warm and tanned skin. "Thanks to you, I am. You've saved my life once, I hope you don't have to do it a second time." She smiled warmly and nestled her face further into his hand.

Din grumbled and pulled her face closer, peppering it with kisses wherever he could reach. "I've saved your life twice. But it doesn't matter, you've given me more than I could ever imagine. I have a family now. And the most amazing wife in the galaxy." "I love you." "Until the end of space and time."

Both flinched when they heard a noise outside the bedroom. Instantly both heads were turned to the door, listening for more noises. One of the kids must've woken up, maybe their voices were too loud.

"Any guesses?" Din asked his wife, once again burying his face in her hair. "My gut tells me it's your mini-version," she suapected, turning her head to kiss him gently. "Your gut? Or your Jedi magic?"

Din rose from the bed, stretching his muscles in the morning sun, stared at by his better half. "And you say I'm insatiable." A sly grin appeared on his lips as he put on a shirt, his shoulders and bicep stretching the fabric just enough to make her hum. "The faster you check on the troublemakers the sooner you can come back to bed. Hurry, I'm not done with you."

She didn't have to tell him twice.

Translations:

mesh'la - beautiful

cyar'ika - darling

di'kut - idiot

gar di'kut - your idiot

[retromimic]

re: Astarion's age (and others)

I made a random post last week about Astarion's age and I have been thinking about it since.

I also realized that we do have other characters we can use to have a better idea of timelines and stuff.

And by other characters I mean Jaheira and Halsin.

More under the cut, tl;dr at the end

Jaheira

Jaheira is from the first two Baldur's Gate games, which both take place over 100 years before BG3 (1368 and 1369, so 123 before BG3, which is in 1492).

She's a half-elf, who age pretty much the same as human, but live longer, so she probably was in her 20's or early 30's in the first games, which would make her about 150 years old in BG3. This makes sense with her appearance, as half-elves live for about 180 years.

Note: Based on appearance only, it's possible Jaheira was older in the first games, but considering they were released in 1998 and 2000, I highly doubt they made the hot half elf lady an actual middle-age woman lmao

Side note: Minsc

Minsc is a human and also from the first two games, but there is a canon reason why he's still alive and doesn't look like he got older like Jaheira did. iykyk

Halsin

He just straight up says he's 350 years old. He's an elf.

He also does look old, but not that old.

Shadowheart

We know she is at least 40 years old (but not much older), and she doesn't look too old. It's subjective but to me she looks like a human late 20's, early 30's (I do think she looks older than Jaheira did in the first two games, but graphic quality and time does affect that). She's a half-elf, so that also checks out.

Recap so far:

Half-elves:

Live for about 180 years

40's: young and soft

150's: Mommy™

Elves:

Live for a long time (in game: at least 350 years, in DnD lore: about 700 years)

350's: Daddy™

Now onto the baby

Astarion

The information can be conflicting, so I'll try to break it down.

The tombstone

This is where it gets complicated because not only is it hard to read, but also is kind of contradictory.

It's written in the Thorass alphabet.

The initial dates are the easiest to read:

229 - 268 DR

Which would mean he was 39 years old when he died. Which a lot of people find it a bit hard to believe considering he looks much older, especially if you compare him to Shadowheart, who's not only older, but also only a half-elf.

I'll come back to it later.

What makes the tombstone complicated is the date Astarion adds. They are hard to read, the first one is barely readable and the numbers 5, 6, 7 and 9 can be easily mistaken for one another when it's someone who just had the most emotional moment of his life carving it in stone with a dagger.

The general consensus from what I've seen has been that it's 498 and that the dates on the tombstone are omitting the 1 (so the dates would actually be 1229, 1268 and 1498 DR), or that Larian made a mistake and should have made the dates in NR, not DR (which would bring the dates to 1261 and 1300 for his birth/death)

Both options have flaws because of the date Astarion writes should either read 492 (omitting the 1) or 460 (NR instead of DR). Neither are really plausible because the last number really doesn't look neither like a 2 or a 0.

The first option would also mean that Astarion died 230 years ago, which we know is not true. A lot of things in-game (not just Astarion) confirms it.

The second option would place his death 192 years ago, which is the most plausible.

But then how to explain the error in the date he adds?

Either he fucked up and doesn't know what year it is.

Or the first number is actually a 2, and he wrote 268, which is the year he died. We'll go with this one.

So, conclusion? Astarion was 39 years old when he died, 192 years ago, making him now 231 years old.

Physical appearance

Now, onto his look.

As mentioned earlier, Astarion doesn't look like he's younger than 40-something half-elf, so some people think the tombstone might be reading 129, giving him an extra 100 years at death, which would make more sense, but there is clearly more than just one dot on that first number, and there is a more plausible reason for him looking so old:

Vampire spawn appeared as they did in life, though their features were hardened and appeared predatory.

Source: Forgotten Realms Wiki

Add to that nearly 200 years of torture? That would make a man look a couple decades older.

And it's not really hard to imagine he was 39 years old at death when you see him, mostly post-Cazador, with softer expressions. (There is posts about it on here, sorry I can't link)

There is one last argument against this, which is the fact that elves reach "adulthood" at around 100 yeas old, and that Astarion already had a job and everything when he died.

But that's really easy to explain;

Elves physically reach adulthood at the same rate as humans, but their concept of adulthood is different, which is why "socially" they are considered adults only much later.

But also, this is socially, and socially, Astarion grew up in Baldur's Gate, a multi-cultural city, so he didn't grow up with elven mentality. Him having a job at 39 years old is very much plausible.

SO.

TL;DR:

Astarion was still pretty much a child when he died at 39 years old, 192 years ago.

[grumfield]

hello! As someone who loves to feed into your obikin spiral for funsies, tell me: what extra event would you have added to current canon (either to flavor the canon or to diverge it entirely) to have them get to an even more messed up relationship ? Cause like, I know it’s possible, but I’m curious if there’s anything you’d want to do to make them Worse™ for each other than they currently are

I can always count on you to be in my corner enabling my insanity. Love you bunches <3

As for an extra event for making them Worse™️. Steve Harvey Family Feud voice it’s gonna be killing off Padmé probably during her assassination attempt. Sorry girl!

Anakin’s mental stability for the foreseeable future (clone war especially) all kind of hinges on her and her sort of unconditional, unrepressed booktok romance novel boymom love (because girl heard he killed a bunch of children not once but TWICE and was still down to hit it). I think without that anchor anakin would be a lot more destructive and probably just implode a lot earlier. Especially because his mom would still die. He might not kill all the Tuskens but he also wouldn’t get the “don’t worry I still love you even when you slaughter innocents!” Affirmation LMAO

Obi-Wan’s whole thing is that he also loves with unconditional boymom love but his rigid orthodoxy prevents him from actually doing anything with it…it’s like a program that overrides native code to make it do another function lmao. I go off legends characterization for him and in it he’s simultaneously permissive and restrictive. He covers up all of Anakin’s shit (like in the book Rogue Planet 11 year old anakin explodes a man with his mind basically and obi wan just ignores it and pretends it never happened lmao) and then puts it out of mind because he truly believes that anakin will figure it out eventually (since he himself was a “problematic” padawan and figured it out). He’s like…one of those religious moms whose kid is gay but are in denial because “everyone feels like that obviously but I got over those feelings so my daughter will too” and wouldn’t be overtly homophobic but believes that it’ll get solved passively by higher power and are shocked when they bring their girlfriend over”. And all of this is wrapped up in a nice little bow where he always talks himself out of his first instinct (help/support/comfort anakin) and instead holds back to help him be “a good Jedi” because he doesn’t have the emotional tools to realize Anakin needs…Not That.

So all that said I think anakin would probably explode and things would get real bad. War’s hell, he gets no love from a wife, and his only emotional anchor is a guy who’s so repressed and lukewarm he shuts down any show of affection in favor of a lecture or “good Jedi behavior”.

I think their relationship would get…weird and unpleasant. Anakin would probably make bids for emotional connection early on and those would be met only occasionally in the context of like “we both survived x bad thing! Hug it out bro”. Which Obi-Wan obviously loves because it’s like affection in an appropriate Jedi context…Anakin would probably be essentially chasing after him like a stray puppy to a guy who will feed him but never actually take him home. Enough to physically survive but eventually it might start to look elsewhere for a warm bed and grow avoidant

Eventually though things start to take a decline and Palpatine’s influence starts to take root earlier because there’s no buffer and it’s way easier to be pushed over the edge when you’re basically in hell 24/7 and are starting to think no one cares about you/loves you. Anakin withdraws emotionally and gets all dark etc., Obi-Wan has no tools to figure out what to do, and so Anakin probably falls sooner and Palpatine will want to take advantage of that.

Idk what would happen after that but it would not be fun—and whatever happens it absolutely makes both of them worse LMAO

[cinamun]

i'm anon who sent the question and the link. wanted to say that i love your story and I've been following since hope ran away. every morning i log onto tumblr dot com and search up your page for updates before i get started on my work for [redacted] class/degree! and I've definitely sent my fair share of anons (most notably the victoria monet one... i turn 21 next month lmao!) and when I'm not showing my age over music or remembering irrelevant trivia (i was also sent the anon about the elliot ham sandwich-suicide foreshadowing) that i wanna ask about, i'm definitely sending asks about how much i appreciate ur story and the details you put into it (which is what makes it so engaging tbh)! i just wanted to make it clear that i respect u as a creator and think you're such a talented simmer and put any issues the other anon had to rest. anyways i'm going back to studying, but i hope your saturday night is going well miss cin, and that you have time to meditate <3

Why do y'all always make me emotional?

😭This is why I told anon #2 that we're not making this a thing! This is not Pennygate™ I can tell it was a genuine ask and its actually really dope that people like you pay such attention to detail like that. I'm a pay-attention-to-the-details person TOO and I think that makes it extra meaningful when it doesn't go unnoticed. Not only that, I've been writing TFA for so long that things absolutely might get missed on my part and thats okay!

OMG THE VICTORIA MONET ASK when I went on my rant about the original version?? LMFAO I love you and happy early birthday friend. I appreciate you, this ask AND irrelevant trivia!

[ichigos]

What are some of your favorite episodes of the 2002 anime?

GOOD QUESTION!!! Immaculate even...

There truly are so many good episodes of Tokyo Mew Mew. I'll share some of my favorites under the cut. (Mew Mew Power mention in here too because I won't ever shut up about the English dub).

These will be in order of episode numbers! *cracks knuckles*

I feel that I am not the best with explaining ~why~ I am a fan of something and think my vocabulary is lacking (that is what I get for not reading huh 😔) -- so I'll mainly post screenshots and go: *point* "I like that!" or just type whatever thoughts come to mind when I think about the episodes.

Episode 10 and 11

Grouped together because these go hand-in-hand. These are the episodes where the girls find the final member of their team, Zakuro Fujiwara. She has no intention of joining them in episode 10 (lone wolf ™) but does swing around and joins the girls in episode 11.

Sorry to Mint but the animation when she has her soul crushed is amazing.

Mew Mew Power is especially funny for this scene because the 4Kids dub made Renee (aka Zakuro) say: "I don't need you guys, you're all freaks!" GIRL! What do you mean? You're one too. 🤨

Episode 12

THE TREE EPISODE!!!! Kishigo battle angst.

Aoyama also has so many "standing man emoji" moments in this series and they make me chuckle. The part of the episode where he sees Ichigo as a Mew Mew for the first time (and it's so early on in the series too!!) will never not be a "🧍🏻‍♂️" moment to me.

Episode 18 and 19

Pretty much every two part episode is one of my favorites. These two are no exception. Blue Knight vs Kisshu fight scene.

Episode 21

Mint goes rogue. We see Zakuro do this throughout the series but to see another Mew do the same is all the more refreshing. This is also the closest thing I'll ever get to an "evil" mew mew (a magical girl trope I think about often, and one I wish happened in TMM..) so I like the episodes where they go against (or away I guess) from the rest of the team for that reason.

Episode 25 and 26

Tokyo Tower! Poison moth!! Someone save us!!!

Not only because of the animation but just in general... episode 25 has one of my MOST favorite scenes in the entire series. There is this part where Kisshu is laughing in Ichigos face after the Blue Knight makes his exit. Kisshu is basically like 'ya'll are so cooked!' and it gets extremely quiet when Ichigo says "I won't let you" for the first time and all we hear is the rain in the background.

Ichigo is always standing up for herself in TMM (a quality that I lack in real life, lol) and I think that is why I appreciate/look up to her character so much.

Goose bumps whenever I watch this scene (yes in MMP too).

Episode 35

Soft side of Zakuro. Episode 35 was great for chill Zak moments. She saw herself a lot in this kid.

Everyone and their dog talks about when Zakuro punches Kisshu in the face. I remember watching this part a lot when I was younger and it's definitely a great moment for sure. I love Kisshu but I do like when he gets his shit rocked too.

It's cringe to get your face punched in by a wolfgirl. =/

Episode 37 and 38

Christmas episodes!! + This part specifically.

The whole alien vs human talks in these episodes. 👍👍

Ichigo was filled with so much emotion during this part. Go girl!!

Episode 39

Emo Kishigo angst truthers ™, this episode was made specifically for us. The way this one had an absolute CLUTCH on me. I have watched it an ungodly amount of times.

Dude needs medical attention immediately but he is bleeding out on the rooftops brooding instead, nice.

I love poking fun at Kisshu but the rooftop scene is actually so sad to me. AND.. YA'LL.. THE OST DURING THIS PART?! HELLO!! (x) This track is on repeat in my brain and it never stops.

(I also really like that screencap of Pie going "Tokyo Mew Mew, Die!")

Episode 40

Pudding was my favorite mew growing up so episode 40 makes it as apart of one of my favorites for sure.

I appreciate all of the girls, and while Pudding is not my favorite character from the series today, she is literally the connection between how I met some of good online (and now also irl) friends, LOL.

*points to this video a friend made for me 16 years ago*

Episode 42 and 43

Who let him strike that bisexual pose in the church anyways?

(ALSO ^^^)

Episode 45

If you are a Kishigo truther then I do not need to explain this one. Again, I watched this one an ungodly amount of times. Unhinged.

(Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for yoooou🎶)

Episode 48

More unhinged Kisshu. He has a really insane good laugh in this episode.

Episode 49

BOY HOWDY do I love Pie in this episode. Kisshu talks about not relying on//betraying Deep Blue (basically their Jesus in the series) and Pie CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT HE IS HEARING. He is a loyal to DB and he is pissed about it.

After all they've been through together on their planet and earth.... this conversation ends so cold with Pie going "The next time we meet, we might be enemies..." and when Tart leaves with Kisshu, even he is conflicted.

Episode 50, 51 and 52

Just grouping the last 3 together. We are introduced to the Big Cheese (Deep Blue) in these final episodes.

(The father, the son and the holy spirit respectively.)

Episode 51 has some of the best animation.

(Me during this part and screaming PIE SMILED AT LETTUCE!!!!!!11!!)

I am running out of brain power and the limit of screencaps that I can add to a post so I will end this here tonight.

Watch Tokyo Mew Mew 2002.

[antianakin]

Maybe I'm being a bit nit-picky but I guess it as kinda odd Ahsoka is constantly getting more and more powerful whenever the plot demands it. The most recent one being able to see the past from the starman. I forgot the exact name of the ability but it was introduced as not only something very rare but also being a burden on the users. I wouldn't really mind Ahsoka being super powerful, but I wish we got more build up because otherwise it's just very Mary Sue-ish. And really I hope they didn't neglect Ezra's character and abilities in favor of making Ahsoka the Most Powerful™.

I think you're talking about psychometry and how it feels like Ahsoka's starting to be able to use that power. Previous characters who have had it are most notably Quinlan Vos and Cal Kestis, and yeah, generally it's considered a power that only a very few are sort-of born with and it's a skill that can be very painful if not honed. Ahsoka has never EVER been one of those characters who has had psychometry, either in TCW or in Rebels.

It's hard to tell whether the show is going for her using psychometry specifically or if they're just... really stretching what regular Force users can do. Because we know that they CAN pick up impressions from things, strong emotions and the like. Anakin and Ahsoka can feel the pain and screams of the people who died during the Temple bombing, for example. But what she does on the show, where she's able to pick up a specific image/memory by touching something, might've been super useful in that particular moment and she doesn't use it at all.

As far as I know, psychometry isn't a skill one can just "learn" if they get strong enough, you're either born with it or you aren't. But I would've said the same has always been true for Force sensitivity in general - you're either born with it or you aren't - and this show has already chosen to throw THAT out the window with Sabine (and possibly Hera, too) so the idea that they might be willing to decide psychometry is a thing someone can just learn isn't exactly outside the realm of possibility here. They haven't CALLED it psychometry on the show yet, but that doesn't mean that it isn't fairly obviously doing the exact same thing that we all know to be psychometry if you're familiar with the skill via Quinlan's stories or the recent video games with Cal.

Ahsoka HAS been dictated as very powerful from very early on, in fairness. There's an episode where Anakin notes in front of the Council that she's "advanced for her age" and they make a big deal out of how she's pretty young to be assigned as a padawan. So she IS supposed to be more powerful than the norm, usually, but psychometry is such a specific skill to have and at no point in any of her other appearances has she ever shown the ability to use it in the way she's been doing on this show.

I don't think that's nit-picky at all, personally, but I'm told that I'm a fairly nit-picky person, so what do I know. It does frustrate me, too, that this show is playing fast and loose with Star Wars worldbuilding just to suit Ahsoka's storyline. Sabine being a Jedi, the butchering of the Rebels characters, Ahsoka's overpowered qualities, etc. All of it is done so that they can tell a very specific story for Ahsoka without any care to how it breaks previously established lore and plot points.

It's one of the things I like the LEAST about this show and that's saying something because there's a LOT that I dislike very much about this show.

[celestialaviva]

I'm curious, what relationships headcanons do you have for the Alan Becker characters?

For example, what is the relationship between the Hollow Heads/Color Gang? Or do you have any ships?

Sorry if I'm annoying, I'm just really curious!

You're alright!

To be honest with you, I mostly consume AvA/M content than create my own headcanons ^^;;;

That is to say, I don't think too hard about mine? They just. Float around, and come up whenever I draw something and I just go, "Ah yes. That is them."

I don't ship anyone and mostly see the CG as best friends who live together like a family. Not totally siblings but just. Just found family? It's very hard to describe but here's some duos:

Orange and Green - I see them as creative rivals. Also kinda see them as the responsible ones of the group- even though I actually headcanon Orange to be younger than the four, he just has responsible one vibes lmao. They're said to be close since they're the first to make contact with each other, and I imagine Green was at first responsible (sort of) for Orange for a little while in the beginning until Orange became confident and comfortable enough around the group. I feel Orange interacts with Green the most in the group because of this.

Green and Blue - They hang around each other a lot, and that kinda makes me think that they always did even before meeting Orange. Minus Orange, they seem to be the ones with eyes for detail in the group, so they likely bond over that too sometimes. They look after each other often, checking in on each other. Green's impatience and Blue's pacifism clash sometimes, but they almost always seem to be on board with each other's ideas.

Green and Yellow - They like to one up each other especially in competitions. I feel they annoy each other the most and are spiteful of each other. But, I can see them just having each other's backs anyhow. Chill when chill, unless either one of them disturbs the peace, yknow for fun. They are both mischievous for sure.

Yellow and Blue - I love this duo in canon! Even in the very early episodes, I've always loved that they seem close. Blue often being the emotional one and Yellow often being the one trying to comfort them. I don't know man, I see them as soft towards each other? But not afraid to mess with each other either.

Red and Yellow - Prankster duo. They enable each other's curiosity and terrible ideas. Though, I do think Yellow wouldn't always be on board. It's funny to me Yellow is more cautious while Red just goes straight into situations so Yellow unfortunately has to deal with that.

Red and Blue - I don't see them often together but I always find them so wholesome. They compete over little things, push each other playfully, and awe over cute animals. They're just. They wholesome

CG and Purple - I love the idea of Red and Green being the friendliest towards Purple. I mean, that's true in canon too, with Green especially. Blue and Purple would bond over plants. Yellow and Purple would bond over code, and be competitive with each other as well. With Orange, Im not sure? They're okay with each other I guess?

CG and Mango - Neutral, Im guessing. They're forgiving of a grieving old man/lh but would certainly not forget about the entirety of s3. Now whether or not Mango and Purple live together, I honestly do not know. I do like to think Purple is welcome to stay in Mango's home but they just go elsewhere often, whether to stay in minecraft or do some temporary job.

For the Hollowheads:

Chosen and Dark - They were best friends, and then fell out due to a misunderstanding. I don't really want to believe Dark is truly dead, but Chosen would unfortunately believe that. Angst™. Tbh I actually don't have much for them unless canon tells me more, so this is all I have.

Chosen and Orange - Siblings. I've always liked the idea Orange looks up to Chosen, and I guess Chosen would kinda be uncomfortable with that. And then AvA 6 ep 1 happened, so now Orange knows Chosen is a dork. A very caring older sibling dork. Who kidnapped and endangered him- but still.

I unfortunately have nothing for Victim. (Canon and Fanon)

This is messy, and I apologize profusely

[demonfox38]

Personally I find the discourse about Alucard's design to be so funny, like in one corner we have Sad Blonde Man™ and in the other corner we have Weirdly Hot Ethereal Critter™. Then there is the debate within the debate, about whether black haired Alucard from the early games is better than SOTN Alucard.

I was introduced to the franchise via Netflix, so I came into this completely blind, and the more that I learn about the games the more I love them. I really liked the animated series, too, but I can understand why long running fans of the games would hate it.

Your Aria/Dawn fics are awesome by the way, I love how you portray the game characters.

Thank ya for the likes! It does seem like more people are going through them, recently…😈

I’m glad you are doing the research for the “Castlevania” games. I wouldn’t think that a series with two playable characters in a “Super Smash Bros” game would be considered obscure and esoteric, but that’s apparently where we’re at on this island Earth. There’s a reason this series got an animated adaptation. It’s definitely not how I would have done it, but I realize that I also make some strange calls when it comes to interpreting the games. (Someone’s gonna have at me some day for dude-bro-ing Soma’s language so much.)

Speed-running Alucard opinions (because I am exhausted!):

Black hair makes more sense in terms of general appearance, but I understand a practical choice for making his hair white. (That being, a lot of “Symphony of the Night”’s backgrounds are dark, and it makes him easier to follow to have white hair. Plus, it looks very nice animated.)

I still say he’s got white hair despite more of a blond shift in art. I don’t think I’m completely wrong to make this judgment. There’s at least one figure that backs me up. And frankly, it’s okay if people like him blond because he looks more like his mom that way. I just consider it being white because—

I think it’s important that people still get a little freaked out when they look at him. Like, I realize on the whole monster fucker scale, his fans are white belts at best. But, ya know. Dude’s eyes still glow in the dark. And the whole teeth thing. (If he sparkles in the sunlight, fine. He might be the one vampire-related dude that could pull that off.)

Honestly, there are a lot of Spock memes that could be applied to Alucard. Maybe not the Pon Farr stuff, but at least the dry humor and the emotional constipation.

[little-wolfpuppy]

More Keith and Shiro HCs

Both in general and Agere/CG I am very mentally ill about them

TWs for mentions of forms of SH (ED, overworking) and skin to skin contact

Keith Akira Kogane

TRANS!! MAN!! KEITH!!

Korean-American (& Galra)

He/They but totally would say "I dont care what you call me" (If you She/Her him he will deck you)

Biromantic Grey-Asexual?

Trains night and day only partly bc he has a need to constantly improve, its a way to harm thier body without leaving any real physial marks

Does those (stupid, practically ED behavior) diets of like plain chicken and white rice

He is amazing with kids; defenetly voulentered at kids homes with Shiro when they were younger

His grumpy and tempermental attitude is mostly a mask used to hide and protect his feelings

Incredebly protective of his freinds

Was totally in the Alternitive scene - maybe Punk or Emo

Flip, slight Caregiver lean, Regresses either to around 3 or to angsty teenspace

As a Caregiver trust he is so overprotective

He can and will get in physical fights if someone hurts his kiddo

Big brother Caregiver for sure, Call him Hyung/Oppa and he might cry /pos

His go-to nickname is Kiddo or Little (whatever color paladin you are)

Will carry his little sibling around (He gets an ego boost showing off how strong he is)

In TEENSPACE he has even less emotional regulation, he ends up punching things and then crying after

Teenspace Keith also does still try to protect everyone

Instead of getting angry when Lance teases him Teenspace Keith tears up and you won't see him for hours because he's embaressed

Toddler Keith is either very calm and well behaved or a menace

Mostly he really just wants to cuddle, maybe watch some cartoons

But if hes in a mood or someone upsets him? He can and will scream-cry

throws toys at Lance if the Cuban upset him close to before he regressed ;-;

Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane

He/Him

Bi

The Dad™ of the group

Was Keith's older brother figure long before either of them got in the academy - they met when Shiro was 12 and Keith was 6 <3

Breifly trained in the military after the academy

Still follows a military-like scedule, starting at god-way-too-early in the morning-

This man has PTSD, not only from being tormented by the Galra Empire but from his childhood as well

100% has or had tatoos on his bicep(s)

Caregiver, "Taking care of you helps me feel better too"

Dada/Papa Caregiver

Strict on rules but only to keep his regressor safe - If they get spooked by a scolding he holds them and promises over and over he's not mad, he never wants his baby to be afraid of him, you just need to be safe, he cant have you getting hurt...

loves skin to skin, especially with baby regressors, he can and will walk around shirtless in a babywrap with his kiddo tucked against his chest sleeping. He finds the contact just as relaxing and soothing as his regressor does

Lets you crawl into bed with him if you're particuraly small or don't like sleeping alone.

Make healthy AND yummy snacks and meals and ALWAYS keeps your sensory issues and prefrences in mind

Ever-patient with meltdowns and tantrums, talking his regressor through feelings, UNLESS they are hurthing themselves or someone else, in which case he will hold them or take them to another room to calm down. ALWAYS communicating the whys and helping his regressor understand the world

Dividers 1 / 2 / 2.5 / 3 / 3.5

[isfjmel-phleg]

Regarding the recent discussion of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society--this is my specific, personal experience on the matter.

I am an unmarried Baptist woman in my early thirties. I have never dated, have never been interested in anyone (beyond a weird crush in college that was less an attraction and more me trying to convince myself I was normal), am not looking for anyone, and have no intention of getting married in the foreseeable future.

Churches, in my experience, have no idea what to do with someone like this. A single woman is already suspect enough but one who isn't pathetic and pining about it? Clearly one of those selfish feminists (which is of course the Worst Insult Of All for a woman, besides calling her a woman instead of a lady) who will never get to know what Real Love is. Oh, and the birth rate is going down alarmingly, and we all know whose fault that is. Don't worry, God has someone out there for you. You just haven't found the right one yet. We're praying for your future husband. A Nice Godly Young Man™. My mom proudly reminds me that she has never pressured me to marry but then tells me things like if I decide I don't want to get married, what if someone comes along and I miss my chance? Or she'll try to reassure me that marriage isn't terrible.

I don't think marriage is terrible. In fact, I take marriage very seriously. That's why I'm not married. It's a huge deal to put that kind of trust in someone and to do so permanently (ideally). There's a lot of risk. People can seem nice but turn out to be not what you thought they were (this happened to my best friend, who married a man who turned out to be a p*rn addict who had no interest in correcting this sin and saving their marriage), and then you--and your children, if you have any by then--can get badly, irretrievably hurt. I wouldn't want to marry anyone whom I wasn't absolutely convinced was worthy of my trust. And quite frankly, I haven't encountered any guy who fits that description.

...because as far as I can tell, my super-traditional denomination doesn't tend to always raise its boys well (exceptions do exist, but I'm generalizing from what I've seen). These Nice Godly Young Men™ often come with a lot of emotional immaturity. A lot of inability to connect with women--we act like men and women are such different creatures that they can never truly relate to each other or share interests and besides, you ladies shouldn't be friends with guys anyway because it inevitably leads to sexual interest--and yet somehow they expect us to meet and connect enough to marry! There's a lot of ego and macho posturing and expectation of being the head Supreme Dictator of the household. And I don't want that. I don't want to be stuck with a man who expects me to be less intelligent than him. I don't want a man who wants to be a sort of combination of father and boss and military commander whom I am obligated to sleep with. I don't want a man who would see me as just a means to an end.

Are there men of reasonably comparable beliefs to my own who aren't like this? Sure, probably. But I'm not going to hold my breath for one even if I were interested in a marital relationship.

I wouldn't want to get married just because it's expected. Or because I'm afraid of being alone. Or because I think it will make me a Real Adult. Or because I want babies (not older children or teenagers or eventual adults--just cute, cuddly babies). Or because some guy comes along who's Nice Enough so I might as well. Or because everyone else is doing it and I need to be in the Wife/Mom Club too. Or because I'm a woman so I Have To. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to either me or the man I would marry to enter into something so binding, so serious, on such flimsy pretexts. I would much, much rather be married to no one at all--which really isn't a dreadful fate at all!--than married for the wrong reason and have to live with those regrets.

God, for his own purposes, has not given me a desire for marriage, and I fully accept this. If that changes, he will make it clear to me. If there's someone out there who is genuinely good and kind and mature and wants a Rebekah (not just A Wife--any Nice girl will do for that--but me specifically as a whole human being) and needs to be in my life, well, God can make that happen, I guess. But honestly, I don't need this mythical creature to be happy. I have a family. I have friends. It's taken a long time but I'm becoming better at believing my friends really love me. And that means a lot. I am loved. I have purpose. A different purpose from many others' but still worthwhile.

I do struggle a lot with feeling silently compared to the women around me who have done the Good Baptist Girl thing, and I do wish that people in churches treated single women with the same regard as married ones. But even though that's hard, that doesn't change anything about how God feels about us.

So this whole thing of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society? It's not that these women are ungodly. It's that we have high standards, and our culture is at a place where we don't have to just take what we can get to survive anymore. It's not ungodly to take marriage seriously enough to not just settle but rather hold out for someone who can best model what God really expects a good husband to be--or else find meaning and value in the life of a single person, nonetheless much beloved by the most loving and trustworthy one of all.