#it irked me so i thought about it more and decided on something i'm a lil more comfy with i think

[muckmagister]

wishing you much luck in the gender uncertainty!! however it shakes out, whatever language or identity you find fits you best, I hope you find joy and peace along the way.

PEACE AND LOVE!!!!! <33 :DDD thanks you so so much :D yayayy!! ^^

i'm happy to say that i do have the important bits down already, like i know what i'm attracted to and i feel comfy in my body/don't need any gender affirming treatment, so it's really just me figuring out the nuances of my own self-conceptualisation

or rather, i do know what i am (i am me, after all) but i'm unable to figure out where i fit in with everyone else which makes it impossible for me to accurately articulate my gender, cause the concept of gender really is just a bunch of people comparing themselves relative to an arbitrary norm, y'know?

anyway after talking and thinking about it the past couple days i think i am happy to just say i'm non-binary, perhaps more specifically agender cause i clearly lack a strong intuition of my gender anyway

[uravichii]

"best friends who kiss?"

character/s: bakugo katsuki

summary: recently, your best friend has been kissing you at random times. you have no idea why because he refuses to talk about it. either way, you're not about to let this to ruin your precious friendship.

genre & trope: fluff, best friends to lovers, angry confessions, reader is terrified of love but bakugo wants them so bad 😁, tw kind of ooc bakugo

a/n: i've been watching a lot of pride & prejudice and bridgerton scenes n i'm now obsessed angry confessions 🤩 + this is heavily inspired by that scene in little women :) ALSO i haven't posted in a year 😟 so pls be nice ik my writing's rusty in this :'D

the first time bakugou katsuki kissed you, he pretended he never did.

"what... " you brush your fingers against your bottom lip, your whole face hot. "what the hell was that for?"

"what?" bakugo shrugs, feigning innocence as he takes a swig of his soda.

you try and trace back the events that could have led to the kiss.

you said something along the lines of: "i wish i had a boyfriend. i could definitely pull a cute guy off the street."

then you heard him scoff and say: "no man's sane enough to put up with your insufferable ass." ーor something more insulting than that.

you can't remember what you said in response, and you rack your brain to figure out what prompted him to grab your face and kiss you. it's impossible when all you can think about is the unexpected supple feel of his lips, its faint ghost still lingering on yours.

"that kiss, katsuki! you violated my mouth!"

"dunno what you're talking about. you hit your head or something?"

you blink and second-guess yourself for a second.

"okay, no. you're not gonna gaslight your way out of this." you swat his arm, earning an irked glare from him. "why the hell did you kiss me?"

"you're imagining things, idiot. this stupid game's givin' ya some serious brain damage for sure."

he stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder.

"where are you going? we're not done yetー!"

and he's out of the door.

was he drunk off his soda? maybe he kissed you to mess with your head. he's not that cruel though, you think. maybe he couldn't think of any other way to shut you upー that was something he always struggled with after all.

at least the second time bakugo katsuki kissed you, he was kind enough to warn you.

after enduring the most awkward hour-long study session with him, you decide to put an end to your agony by wrapping it up. you start gathering your things when he stops you with a calloused hand on your wrist.

"what?" you turn to him, your cheeks already heating up from his touch.

there are no thoughts you could read behind those vermillion eyes, and all of a sudden, you don't know your best friend very well anymore.

he walks some tentative steps closer to you until the back of your knees hit the table. he cradles your jaw with such delicacy you didn't even know he was capable of. he slips past your awaiting lips and presses his nose on the side of your head, his warm breath kissing your flushed skin.

"punch me in the face and scram if you don't want this, got it?"

you gulp and forget to answer if not for the gentle squeeze on your wrist. "y/n, you got it?"

"s-sure."

when you two kiss, it's different from last time. it's unhurried, curious, and so intoxicating. the kiss speaks: 'i want you. i want you. i want you' but whose thoughts are these?

he groans into your lips as if to urge you to keep up with the sheer hungriness that has consumed him. you try your best to do so as he deepens the kiss with a palm on the back of your head and practically drinks you in. he doesn't pull away until he hears the tiny whine that escapes you.

"shit, sorry." he mutters, avoiding your stunned gaze.

"t's okay."

"did i hurt you?" the quiet lilt of his voice surprises you.

"no, no. i'm okay, but why'd you kiー"

"bye." he blurts out as he turns to the door and leaves, as if he didn't just invaded your mouth and permanently tainted the years of friendship you two have had. you click your tongue as the heat subsides in your cheeks.

"son of a bitch."

the third time bakugo katsuki kissed you, you let him, and he didn't stop.

you had barely escaped death when you lost your footing while sparring with todoroki. naturally, bakugo yelled the poor guy's ear off and would have murdered him if eraserhead hadn't interfered at the last second.

now, you find yourself heaving in your bed. you don't know whether your hastened pulse is from the adrenaline rush or from the fact that bakugo is all over you right now.

he's planting feather-light kisses all over youー your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids, your hands, and your wrist, as panicked murmurs spill out of him in between kisses. 'you scared the hell out of me. you have no idea, fuck. are you okay? are you really okay? tell me you're okay, y/n.'

"i'm okayー" you barely manage to gasp before he dips his lips into yours, desperate and frantic. tremulous hands find solace in your hips as he holds you, gentle enough not to mar your injuries but snug enough to assure his restless heart that you are safe.

your head feels hazy. your limbs ache and lie motionless, and though your lips could barely move to reciprocate his kisses as much as you wanted to, bakugo didn't stop. you tried to ask him about it the next morning, but of course, he ignored you and walked away.

you don't know when he stopped kissing you that night. all you know is that there was a line that was crossed, and your friendship was never going to be the same again.

bakugo katsuki is going to kiss you again. your heart thrums incessantly. whether it's dread or anticipationー you don't know.

you think about the sensation of his lips that's become so familiar to you that you've learned to crave it. it shouldn't be familiar to you, and you sure as hell shouldn't want it. so you do what you think is necessary.

you kick him in the shin.

"motherfー!" sure enough, he's pissed. "what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"i was going toー"

"no! you're not gonna kiss me again and walk away and pretend it never happened. you're messing with my head, katsuki! it's not funny!"

"wasn't trying to be funny!" he barks back.

"okay, so what exactly are you trying to do? what is this? i meanー" you stammer, struggling to find the words. "katsuki, what are we?"

he sighs and shifts his stance, his discomfort apparent. when the silence lingers on for too long, you speak.

"well, whatever it is that you want from me, we're going to stay friends. nothing more, nothing less. that's it." your breath hitches, and you don't know why you feel like crying as you speak. "... so i don't want your stinky mouth anywhere on me again."

silence weighs heavily between you. sometimes you wish you didn't know him too well, then the hurt he veils in his eyes wouldn't be so plain and vivid to you, and you would have walked away by now without an ounce of remorse.

"i like you, y/n." is all he could say when he finally speaks.

you shake your head. "no, you're just confused."

"i'm not confused. i like you."

"katsuki, you've been bitchless all your life, and i'm just the closest thing to a s/o. maybe go take a walk or something."

"i like you." he persists. "i've liked your stupid ass forー"

"stop saying that. you don't."

"i do, and you like me tooー"

"what?!" you laugh incredulously.

'who does this dumbass think he is?' is he right? surely, he's not. then what are you so afraid of in the first place? why have you been counting down the days until he kisses you again? why do you yearn for his touch as if it's something you own? why do you feel so infuriated and so tormented when he leaves the room after kissing you?

you do what is necessary again.

"you're delusional!" you yell at his face, a childish shrill that's awfully familiar to your childhood best friend.

"jesus christ." he inhales sharply in frustration. "you're a fucking pussy, y/n."

you clench your jaw and match his glare. anger surges in your chest and bleeds into your voice.

"i'm not the one who chickens out after kissing their best friend! you can't even acknowledge the fact that you kissed me because you'reー!"

"do you think i want to chicken out? why do you think i run away after kissing you?! if i stayed and confessed all this shit the first time, you would've refused to hear it like the damn coward you are!" he leans close to you, his voice lowering into a ragged snarl that quickens your pulse. "and you're just proving it right now, y/n. you're always going to shut this down and deny your feelings because you're a fucking pussy. you're terrified of relationships, and it's dumbest shit ever. pathetic, really."

you rear back from his words. if anything, you always thought it was katsuki who was afraid of love. now, you can't help but feel small and vulnerable underneath his searing gaze.

"it's not dumb..." you shuffle uncomfortably. "what, i'm supposed to ruin our friendship for a relationship that we're going to break off anyway?"

"we're not going to break it off."

"how do you know that?"

"because i'll be the best goddamn boyfriend in the world!"

"first of all, gross." you scoff. "second of all, it's never gonna work out! you're going to get sick of me in three days max."

"i've known you since we were brats, and i still want you."

"you literally said no man's sane enough to put up with my obnoxious ass."

he smirks. "i said 'insufferable ass'."

"katsuki!" you fight the urge to strangle him and punch that stupid smile off his face.

"wasn't even serious that time." he grimaces and reluctantly continues. "you know damn well you can pull any guy you want, and he'd be the luckiest bastard on earth."

if it were any other day, you'd grin at him and say 'i told you so,' but your lips remain unmoved, and your eyes stay dim. you're afraid you'll never go back to being the same katsuki and y/n again.

"this is pointless, katsuki. i mean, look! we're already fighting." you grouch and tell yourself you don't want this. "i still don't want us to happen so while this friendship is still salvable, let's agree to stay friends, and whatever sappy shit you feel for meー suck it up."

in one swift motion, he closes the distance between you, his face hovering dangerously over yours.

"suck it up?" he breathes, his face taut in frustration. "restraining myself from you is the hardest shit i've ever had to do. it takes everything in me not to kiss your stupid face!"

he shudders, weakly resting his forehead against yours as if this conversation alone has exhausted him. still, he goes on.

"and everytime i failedー everytime i kissed those lips, it was... a moment of weakness, but that's the fucking problemー you're just..." he buries his face into the crook of your neck, a desperate attempt to escape your wide-eyed gaze. "i'm weak for you, y/n. every second. and it drives me fucking insane that you keep running away from me."

he rises to meet your eyes again. the cadence of his voice changes into something weak and desperate, stripped of all the pride and anger he's ever known.

"i love youー fuck. i love you." he lets the words hang in the air, letting the words hear itself spoken because for once, you're not stopping him. "i love you, so please... let me."

after much thought and another agonizing minute of silence, you lean in to kiss bakugo katsuki.

he kisses back almost instantly and revels in the way you wrap your arms around his neck and bear your weight on him completely. he kisses back ardently, his pent-up desires and years of longing etched in the way he seeks your lips, kiss after kiss after kiss.

when you finally pull away, you're met with a devilish smirk, his begging eyes long gone. you wonder to yourself when you'll see those eyes again.

"took ya long enough." he kisses you again. he raises a brow at the way you're caging him in your arms. "jesus, no one's gonna snatch me from you."

"i'm making sure you don't run away again, dumbass."

"i won't." he says earnestly as he props his forehead against yours. "and you won't either. i'll make sure of that."

you nod your head with a giddy smile as he pecks your lips again.

"so..." you say as you exaggerate a pensive look, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. "we're best friends who occasionally kiss?"

he rolls his eyes. "you're impossible."

"recite that speech again, and i'll consider calling you my boyfriend."

"fuck off!"

TAGLIST [1/2] @uxavity @joy-the-reader @kiiraes @escapenightmare @afk-dreaminq @avocamich @theboredvee @wonderwrench @ur-local-simp @p-ol @x0xuglyh0tgrl2005xoxo @cosmonettica @melin-oe @mitzi127 @lilac-o @r2katsu @bakucumsackslut @idunnomynamesince2005 @astralwaifu @taurus852 @creepyproxies @maycat-19-142 @stella-fleurets @veenxys @devilgirlcrybabiey @drawingaddict @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @lexiv-web @angelshimaa @izukus-gf @christiansdior @homosexualjohnwayne @uwiuwi @hirugummies @cupidines @loveisningning (bold couldn't be tagged)

[graphedpaper]

Renter Problems 3

yandere!celebrity x fem!reader

Synopsis: You're trying to find a place near your university to stay, and you've managed to find a mansion owned by a celebrity to live in. His name is Jacob, and you've known him since middle school as the arrogant douche who occasionally spread rumours about you. He's blown up recently as the new, hot celebrity thanks to the movie he's starred in, though, while you're just struggling to pass by. For an unknown reason, he's obsessed with the idea of you being his girlfriend, and after you announce you will be moving out, he decides to imprison you in his house. You learn he's even more abusive than ever, especially with his new influence. Details: Physical and verbal abuse, NSFW, manipulation, fem reader, kidnapping, non-con, oral Warning: NSFW, Non-Con

"I'm back!" A voice that sends terror to your nerves calls up towards the bedroom. He sounds happy... energized, even. It causes you to relax your tense muscles.

Your face is sticky with dried tears, and fresh tears on top of that. You're starving, and you've had to go drink water from the bathroom sink just so you wouldn't dehydrate. Your voice feels gone and you were too scared to try and escape with the threat of an alarm.

So pathetic. You might just be letting this happen to you. You might like this after all, being a victim.

No, no. Keep strong.

You shake your head of the dangerous thought. The betrayal of your own mind.

You tried, you did try. The door. You tried knocking it down so many times. But it was solid and felt like a 3 meter thick stone block.

He unlocks the door. He walks towards you.

Please. Please don't.

"I'm so fucking exhausted, shit." He sits down on the edge bed next to you and lies back.

You flinch away. Your empty stomach sinks five meters and you regret flinching from him. He could get angry again, and he might-

He glances at your cowering body from the corner of his eye. You weren't scared then, so why so scared now? Can't you see he's trying to be nice? It irks him, truthfully. He's not a fucking monster for God's sake.

"So, you're not going to ask me about my tiring day at work?"

"Why are you doing this." You ask him, your words flat to the wall as you gaze at the small bumps of the dried white paint to avoid looking at him, heart hammering.

Jacob could just ignore that. He could shut you up, train you. But he's a nice guy. He's chill, he's a sweetheart. He's a harmless flirt! (That's how the latest news articles had described him as. How could anyone not fall at their knees?

"Because I like you." He replies. And it's a truth of sorts. He does like your body. He likes how you look, and your voice. He doesn't like how you act as of late though, like a pretentious whore.

"Jacob, please, I don't like you in that way. I have... I have a life, I have plans. I- I have to go to college in a few months, please!" You cry out, losing all composure.

He laughs out loudly at your cries. "Y/n, what life? Your own parents don't even think of you as their child, you have no friends, and you have no house!"

He sits up and roughly grabs your face.

"Stop. Whining."

His hands feel tight around your jaw, like he could crush it. His hold on you forces your lips to pout slightly and you feel humiliated.

He quickly lets go and gently pats you on the back, like he's cheering up a sad child or something.

"Sorry," He says after a bit of quiet. "I just feel like you could at least pretend to care."

Insane. That's the only word that comes to your mind. He's insane and nobody except you knows. Your friends at their fancy university, they don't know, your parents, they don't know, no one knows.

You stare back at him. His wavy hair sits slightly messed from his tantrum, his doe-like eyes that dig into your own. It's deceptively sweet and trustworthy. But he also had a darker side to him, you could feel it, not from the way he sat, or analyzed his every surrounding, not even his need to control everything. No, no, it was an instinctive scream that rang echos in your soul to run away. He was not a sweet boy, he was a dangerous man, and you needed to get away. In fact, he'd never been a sweet boy. At best, a playground bully. Appearances were deceiving, and that gave you chills.

Is that why he had imprisoned you like this? Because you had broken free of his control? Then perhaps you could free yourself by aligning back with his wants, whatever that was. You could pretend. You could pretend to be his girlfriend.

"Umm... So you had a long day?" You try. You're fearful for a negative reaction.

But almost immediately, his face brightens up.

"Yeah, I had to film 3 interviews today and everyone was fucking disgusting. They're so fake, I could see right through them. Every one of them, they're hideous." He rants, as he comes closer to you slowly.

"Unlike you, you're breathtakingly perfect." He winks at you.

He reaches over to hold your hand and you let him. You have no energy, really.

"Y/n, I have so much stress pent up inside me." He tells you. His eyes brush your body in a way that makes you feel like throwing up. Throwing up what, you don't know, because you haven't had food in almost a day.

"You do?" You ask slowly, unsure what he means by that.

A cord of tense atmosphere wraps itself onto both of you, and it holds you two there. The air feels thick.

"Yeah, I mean, I just really need to release the stress."

He spreads his legs just slightly, and your heart stops at what he's suggesting. His jeans have a bulge in it, that wasn't there this morning.

As you sit on the edge of the bed with your legs tucked in under you, you feel a sweat arising from the deepest core of your body, the type that forces you to run. To run away from this.

But you can't.

"No- please- Jacob, no, please, I'm a virgin," You back away into the headboard as you begin to sob.

He comes closer to you and you want to puke. Really.

"I thought you cared about me. I thought we agreed that in order for this relationship to work we need to care about each other?" He demands.

Your stomach grumbles. Jacob smiles at this, having already planned everything.

"You're hungry right? You haven't eaten at all? I got food and it's downstairs." He says.

"Yeah- yeah I'm hungry." You reply, shaking.

"Then, do this for me and I'll let you eat." He holds your handcuffs and drags you close to himself.

You freak and you thrash, trying to get away, but he holds onto your tied wrists tight. "Jacob, please, I'm so scared, I don't want to do this. It's too early." You beg him.

"You're a virgin?" He asks, and you're confused. You already told him, so why's he interrogating you like this?

"Yes." You respond, hesitant.

"Ok, doesn't matter, you'll still be one at the end." He says, in a relaxed tone. You're left to ponder what he means by that. It's a contradicting statement, to have sex and still be a virgin.

Jacob sees your confusion and smirks. "What, like you've never heard of being a blowjob?" He says mockingly. "Get down on the floor."

You gasp at his crude words and try to shrink away, off the bed.

"Kneel down, or I'm going to cut your fucking finger off." He threatens. His threat still fresh in your mind, you force your own body to move down onto the floor.

He releases the hold on your handcuffs and you kneel down on the floor. It forces you to look up at his open legs.Jacob undos his black leather belt.

"Now, pull my zipper down." He orders, hand on your shoulder.

You try to, with your cuffed hands, but it won't work. The hands which are bound render you incapable of unzipping his pants.

"Jacob-" You begin.

"You have a mouth, right?" He interrupts you with a patronizing smile.

The absolute humiliation of this, the way he treats you like an animal leaves you furious. His sincere suggestion of you to kneel and use your teeth to undress him. You still do it though, because what choice do you truly have? You lean your face into the intersection of his pants and hold your breath in fear. You take his pant zipper in between your teeth and drag it down, like a dog. His underwear looks like it'll burst, and maybe he knows that, because he quickly pushes it down to reveal his hard-on. His dick slaps his lower abdomen from the release of the constricting fabric. It's almost painfully red at the tip.

It's big, and maybe scary isn't the right word to utilize in describing this scene in front of you, but all you feel is white-hot fear.

"Well?" He asks.

"I don't know how." You tell him.

"Just put your mouth on it, no teeth." He replies.

But you just can't force yourself to do it. You shake your head no and tears well up in your waterline again. Jacob smiles, in a knowing way, and he reaches over to the nightstand drawer. You freeze and analyze every microscopic movement of his body. He opens the top drawer while still holding onto your hair, tight.

Jacob didn't really want to do this to you. Well, maybe just a little. Okay, he wanted to do this a lot.

He grabs a sharp knife and puts it to your neck. However small, it's still a blade, which causes you to instinctively jolt. You scream and try to move your neck away.

"Do you really want to do that?" He asks, still having your hair in a strong grasp. "One wrong move and it cuts into a very important vein."

You must think he's so sick. What would you do if you knew he was getting turned on from this? That's why he loved you so much, you were the only person he could really do this to. You were a nobody from his past, but you were a nobody from his past.

"Jacob please, please, I'm not ready." You let out a sob, as the blade broke the soft skin of your neck. Your body shakes in terror.

You feel your breathes quicken and your chest tightens up. Jacob notices how your small body is heaving rapidly, and his gaze softens, a little.He lifts off some pressure from the knife and pushes your head onto his cock. You're tired, you're starving, you might die. Your fogged-up brain lets your body be lead like a marionette as you let his tip press into your plush red lips you don't fight back.

"Suck it with your tongue." He orders.

And you do, you cautiously lick the tip of his length with a few swirls, tasting him. It's repulsive.

"Oh fuck." He moans, throwing his head back slightly.

So he likes that.

You hope he'll be happy with your tentative licking, but he becomes greedier and greedier with each second. He pushes himself deeper into your mouth until you start to gag and cough. The foreign object in your throat keeps you from breathing and you desperately want to throw it up. But his hands have a strong hold on your head.

"Oh god, yeah, oh, you're doing so good- oh, baby, you-you sure it's your first time?" He moans out, panting and he begins to thrust himself in shallow ins and outs.

He doesn't expect an answer, this is all his fantasy after all.

You press on his legs to push him off, and he finally removes his cock. You lump over and you cough. He forces back into your mouth after a few quick breathes though, he's searching for his release and it's coming soon. Tears are just a part of your appearance now, as he thrusts into your throat you can feel your mind going somewhere else.

He starts to become rougher and his legs tense.

"Fuck, shit, oh fucking fuck!" His face is in bliss, a contrast to your own.

He goes deeper and faster and he manages to make out one last sentence.

"Swallow, don't you dare spit it out."

A thick, hot, but salty liquid floods your mouth, and you wince at the gross substance that coats your tongue, but you brace yourself and swallow.

Jacob stares at you and pats your head, as if that makes up for it.

You collapse of exhaustion on the floor and Jacob gets up to change into his sweatpants first. Then he puts the knife away and brushes his hair slightly.

Finally, he scoops you up, and sees that you're unconscious. You look tired but peaceful, like a fairy, or a dying angel. Your eyes are closed as your lashes curve just a little bit upwards, your lips in a relaxed position. Your skin is radiant, and Jacob finds himself smiling at your beauty.

He gently puts you on his bed, and covers you with a thick blanket.

"Sleep well. I'll get you breakfast tomorrow, I promise."

If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy the rough draft version on wattpad. Yes, I know, wattpad stories suck, but that's the place it's at for all the public to see. There are far more chapters, so I just wanted to let anyone curious know, since re-editing these chapters take some time.

[quezzzs]

"Detective Reed?"

"The fuck is it now, plastic?"

Nines' LED flashed a yellow as he sternly spoke to Gavin, who had his legs kicked up on his desk as he absentmindedly stared at the bullpen ceiling.

"We haven't made any progress in our case and you certainly haven't been doing even half of the work."

Instead of fighting back, Gavin just ran his mouth with what he could think of at the moment. "Thought you androids are so clever. You can solve this shit on your own."

Nines' LED went back to blue immediately. Gavin had always been so stubborn in doing his own work, criticizing Nines' artificial talent, saying that he would be better than the android ever could, and actively jump into defending his work style at any advice(good or not).

Besides the attempted insult, Gavin sounded quieter than usual.

This was definitely out of character for the short tempered man. "What's gotten into you?"

Gavin raised an eyebrow up as he turned his head to Nines' direction. "What do you mean?"

"You're acting...off today." The RK900 narrowed his eyes at Gavin, making a scan on his physiology.

///collecting data...

Nines' HUD flashed with new data on Gavin.

|LOW DOPAMINE LEVELS|

|LOW SEROTONIN LEVELS|

Among other signs, something occurred that turned the human detective into...that.

Nines leaned his arms against his desk as he questions Gavin.

"It ended, didn't it?"

Gavin only shot a quick angered glance before rolling his eyes and admitting it. "Bastard left with no reason." Despite the rough appearance he tried to present, Nines could tell it really affected the man.

"You know that you should try to stop getting yourself into relationships. This is the third person in the past 2 months."

That reminder got to Gavin, making him put his legs back down onto the ground, retorted back at Nines in irritation. "You don't get to say shit in this, it's my life and I don't remember you ever mentioning your special someone."

The LED went back to yellow again before switching back, Nines processing Gavin's words.

"Yes, but even so you're stagnating our progress. I cannot continue if you are lacking in the job you've worked for."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Detective, I'm merely-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

"Detective Reed-"

"Yada, yada, yada-"

Nines was getting pissed at this point. He didn't have any time for Gavin to play around with the subject.

"Gavin Reed."

Gavin had shut his mouth right up when he heard Nines' voice raised louder than before, though he was still irked.

Nines made an unnecessary sigh before talking. "I don't want to deal with your bitchy attitude you've been keeping up with today. Either you get it together and work on the case we were assigned or you leave early, though I don't think Captain Fowler would be pleased with the leave."

Now, Nines have made similar threats before during their time together. Surely Gavin would tough it out like he always does.

He doesn't.

Instead, he gets up, takes his stuff, and walks out.

"What- Detective! We're not-"

"See ya, Nines."

Nines was left alone in the DPD bullpen. Baffled on what just happened.

══════════════════

"Another on me."

"Sir, you've had 9 shots already. Are you sure-"

"Just a couple more, I got the money."

"It's your liver."

The bartender gave Gavin another glass shot of alcohol as he took the empty ones away to clean. Gavin's face flushed red as he hung his head low at where he sat, the music that played throughout the bar sounded muffled in his ears. He was lost in deep thought about what Nines said about him.

He knew he was acting up but he didn't know how else to deal with it. It's not like he couldn't get attached. The last three guys he's dated showed him so much care and each time they did, he believed it.

It's ironic that for a detective, he had trouble seeing the signs.

The first cheated, the second was taking his money, and the third one randomly decided he wasn't into Gavin anymore. He got played 3 times in a row. Why not a good drink to wash out the sadness? Sure it's temporary but at least he doesn't have to feel it now, right?

Gavin down his glass, thudding his forehead onto the wooden surface beneath his arms while he guessed what could be the case this time.

Was he being too forward? Was he too passive? Was he being too soft? Was he being too intense? Was he the problem?

He set the shot glass down, running his hand through his hair as he took a deep breath. Alcohol wasn't working out for tonight. He took out his card and paid automatically into the slot, standing up the best he could before walking out.

As he exited out of the bar, he saw a familiar face leaning at the side of his car. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Nines, who had his arms crossed and stared at Gavin with an unamused look, answered the question. "To supervise you. You left in a rush and it's not hard to track your location that you gave to me."

Gavin had almost forgotten he did that. Why did he trust the bot that much?

"Just-" He pinched the bridge of his nose, weighing the pros and cons in his head(minus the fact that his head felt like it was beating slightly right now)

But of course, Nines cut him off from his train of thoughts.

"No, I'm driving you back to your apartment complex. You are in no condition to drive right now and it wouldn't look good on your records to be charged with a D.U.I."

Gavin grumbled dramatically but he knew Nines was right about that. He already had so much riding his ass back at work and getting a D.U.I. might as well get him fired.

He didn't argue with that and tossed Nines the keys as he entered the passenger side.

══════════════════

Gavin opened up the door and set his jacket aside, tossing the wallet and keys onto the nearby counter. Nines followed accordingly inside of the building.

Gavin was blessed to have a spacious enough living space and so he only needed to take a few steps near the couch before he crashed down on top of it, groaning loudly. Nines rolled his eyes at how childish his coworker was behaving.

"Detective, I suggest that you-"

"Can you shut up?" Gavin adjusted himself to sit up but Nines had enough.

"No, I've had it with your behavior. No matter what tactic I use to get your ass moving along you end up sitting back down and throw yourself a pity party. I apologize if your love life is crumbling down but you have a job and you might as well quit if you wanna complain all the time."

Nines glared at Gavin, staring him down as he stood looming above the shorter man. Gavin hated that feeling. He got up and grabbed at Nines' jacket collar.

"Listen here, plastic prick, I don't want to fucking deal with it right now. I wanted to drink and go home but now my moods' phcking ruined 'cuz of you. Stop sucking the dick of your 'directive' and leave me alone."

"Would you rather have me suck yours."

...

Nines can be stupid sometimes.

This was one of those times.

The two men were left in an awkward silence from what Nines retaliated with, Gavin having an undetermined expression while Nines had a faint blue blush on his face from his bluntness.

He was so used to them bickering in situations such as this and had grown used to Gavin's unfiltered words that he might've picked up on some as well.

"I apologize, Detective. I didn't mean-"

"Would you?"

HELLO???

"Wha-"

"Tell me," Gavin shook his head for a moment before fully going for it. "Yes or no?"

Nines was frozen on spot. Speechless. Dumbstruck. Tongue-tied.

...

"Yes."

══════════════════

Nines sat at his desk, avoiding eye contact with the human that sat across(who was also doing the same thing).

He couldn't bear it anymore.

Nines shot a wireless interlink comm with Connor who was sitting on the other side of the bullpen.

'Connor?'

'Yes, Nines? Is there something you need?'

It was silent in the interlink for a moment.

'Nines?'

'I sucked Detective Reed's penis last night.'

"WHAT?!"

People snapped their heads towards where Connor suddenly yelled, but his eyes were dead set on Nines(whose face was blue as hell right now).

Inspo: my own post😭

Edit: next part has been added

[lollygaggingloser]

Did someone say more prosthetic limbed Hugo? No? I'm just hearing things? Awesome, here's more:

When Nuru joins the team, Hugo and her get on the wrong foot instantly. The trio break into the Koto castle during a ball to find the next trial, and Hugo tries to sweet talk his way around Nuru to find the trial's location. His fake charm is something she sees right through as a princess used to having people take advantage of her as a young royal. At some point, Hugo pivots his plan from getting info from Nuru to keeping Nuru distracted so Yong and Varian can sneak by into closed off areas. Nuru catches them slipping by and tries to warn the guards, but Hugo steps in her way to keep up the distraction. Upset, she pushes through Hugo who loses his balance and falls, either landing on his prosthetic arm or knee wrong and slightly damaging it. Nuru realizes that Hugo is disabled when this happens and unlike Varian or Yong, she treats him like some unfortunate victim, apologizing profusely to him for her behavior and asking if there's anything she can do to help him. While her reaction irks him, Hugo assures her he's fine and uses the situation to keep her attention for just a bit longer. What really pisses him off though is when she orders the guards to carry him to a chair where he can 'rest'. Being manhandled this way humiliates him, and he hates the looks of pity that other ball attendees give him. Eventually, Hugo manages to slip away to join Varian and Yong before all three are caught before they can enter the trial and Nuru questions their actions. While Varian convinces Nuru that they need to complete the trial for their journey to the eternal library, she decides to join the group, to which Hugo tries to persuade Varian and Yong to not let her tag along. Varian and Yong accept Nuru's help in the trial and Nuru spends her time not only helping with the trials puzzles, but offering Hugo help whenever the group has to go through rough terrain, offering to hold his hand or carry items for him. She thinks she's being genuinely kind to Hugo, but it's making him feel coddled, and he detests it.

At some point in the trial, Hugo and Nuru get separated from Varian and Yong through a trap door that they fall through when Nuru tries helping him. With Nuru's excessive pampering, Hugo rudely responds to her that he doesn't need her help and they wouldn't have fallen into the trap if she minded her own business. They argue, Nuru not understanding why Hugo is being difficult when she's just trying to help, and Hugo insisting he's not a charity case for some princess to get an ego boost from. After letting out pent up steam through their fight, the two notice symbols on the ceiling that display the constellations. To open up the pathway forward, all constellations from the Ursa Major family need to be touched, glowing a bright blue from human touch. Since the ceiling is rather high, Hugo instructs Nuru step onto his shoulders to reach the ceiling. Nuru doesn't want to, worried about Hugo’s prosthesis until the blond insults her, saying "Look, if you don't know which constellations to push, you can just tell me instead of pretending you're above stepping on others. Figures, I'm stuck with a saccharine halfwitted princess."

Out of spite, she goes along with Hugo's plan and stands on his shoulders to touch the constellations. At some point, she hears Hugo groan as he walks toward the next constellation, but before she can offer him a break from holding her up, Hugo goes "I thought princesses are supposed to be light. If part of me weren't metal, my bones wouldn't be able to carry your heaviness", making Nuru scoff at him and respond "Oh, can it! I don't need a talking step stool."

Eventually, all constellations are touched and the two rejoin Varian and Yong as a door opens. While Hugo and Nuru still don't like each other when they finish the trial, at that point, Nuru stops being so accommodating to Hugo and learns to interact with him without his disability coming into frame with their interactions. To her, he's no longer this poor angry person who's rough around the edges due to his handicap, but just a rude smartass that happens to have a prosthetic limb. They are not friends, far from it, but it's still a step up from where they began.

Part 1

Part 2

[lovelywritinglady]

Beach Days

Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Reader and Gojo spend the day at the beach together along with their classmates. Fluffy, Gojo being a slight ass. Some Nanami x reader because I felt like it. (especially after season 2 of JJK)

“Pleaseeeeee, come one Y/nnnnn! It’ll be so much more fun if you go too!” Gojo practically yelled trying to convince you to go with him and a few other classmates to the beach this Saturday.

“Gojo I already told you I’m busy that day.” You told him as your eyes never the assignment you were working on.

“Look I will fucking pay you to go with me, just please tag along! You ain’t afraid of water are ya?” He teased

“Fine, I’ll go. However, you’ve got to promise not to whine when I have to leave early. I have a test that I need a lot of time to study for.” You reluctantly told him secretly happy that he asked you to go to the beach with him and your other classmates. You blushed at the thought of being able to be with them in a positive way instead of fighting curses.

“Yesss, I promise we’ll have a shit ton of fun! And don’t you worry about that test. Even if you didn’t study you’d ace that shit, but as long as you go I won’t be sad you’re leavin’ early I guess.” He said excitedly with a slight pout on his oddly perfect lips.

“Maybe you’re right, but I’m not taking any chances.” You slightly laughed finding it cute that he was pouting a little.

“Alrighty, we’re all meeting up at the front of the school and taking a school van at 11. Don’t be late sugar.” Gojo stated as he quickly left but not before giving you a wink and a big wave goodbye. You rolled your eyes at his flirting but still felt butterflies in your stomach all the same. You hated your crush on Gojo but, seriously, who could help themselves when it’s the Satoru Gojo.

The next day…

You arrived at the meeting spot five minutes before 11 just in case. Funny enough, only Nanami Kento, your classmate, was there witha borded expression on his face. You walked up to him with your beach bag in hand and wished him a good morining.

"Good morning Nanami." You spoke to him giving him a small smile

"Ah, good morning L/n, I'm guessing that Gojo's constant pestering go to you too." He said in an irked tone.

"Yes, he was quite annoying about it, but I think it'll actually be good for me to have a relaxing day at the beach with you guys. Besides when is the last time we were together that didn't include killing something." You pointed out

"True, I didn't take that into consideration. It will be nice not having those responsibilities for once." He agreed giving you a small smile.

"So where is Haibara? Isn't he normally with you?" You asked him genuenly curious where your sweetheart of a classmate is.

"He said he would meet me here at eleven due to the face that he overslept a bit. I came earlier just in case Gojo decided to be spontaneous again and leave without us." Nanami responded checking his watch.

"Makes sense you'd be here early. You're always so punctual, that’s one thing I like about you so much!" You complimented him giving him a wide smile.

"Oh, well thank you L/n." He said quietly blushing slightly at your niceness.

"Anytime, now when will they get here?" You questioned out loud.

As if you could see the future, there walked your remaining classmates along with their beach bags. Gojo, funny enough, had a big pink flamingo floaty on his arm and you laughed slightly at the sight. As soon as he saw you he picked up the pace, giving you one of his signature goofy smiles. Geto, Shoko, and Haibara waved at you and Nanami and the two of you returned the gesture. Your attetion turned to your white haired classmate as he strolled right up to you.

"You actually came and early too!" Gojo said excitedly

"Of course I did. I decided that it would be nice to get some sun." You told him slightly blushing at his exposed abs as him, Geto, and Haibara all were shirtless except for unbuttoned shirts.

"Well good Y/n, glad you're here!" he said getting closer to your face making you blush more.

"Alright Satoru, lets get loaded up!" Geto yelled getting into the drivers seat.

Everyone got in and Nanami made his way to sit next to you only for the seat to be taken by Gojo. You gave Nanami an apologetic smile as he took a seat next to Haibara instead. Gojo started yapping on about some video game he just started playing with Geto and how he was kicking his ass in it. You heard Geto mumble how Gojo was actually losing a lot, which earned a few chuckles from you and your other classmates. Gojo pouted and looked out the window with a huff. You thought it was cute seeing his lips pucker the way they did. A few minutes passed when he finally got out of his little trantrum and gave his attention to you. He began yapping and then proceeded to ask you all kinds of questions. However, one question stuck out from the rest.

"So y/n you got a boyfriend or something?" He asked but unlike the other questions, he spoke in a serious tone.

"Um...no." You responded back slightly confused as to where this question came from.

"Hmm... okay then!" He chirped and continued yapping once more. You looked at the front of the van only to see Geto smirking at you which caused your face to feel hot and your hands slightly clammy.

"Oi Y/n! Oi Y/n! Y/nnnnn, are you paying attention?" You finally heard Gojo whine.

"Oh sorry, what were you saying?" You asked giving him an apologetic smile. This yapping continued as Geto drove everyone to the beach.

After some time later, you all arrived at your beautiful destination. Geto and Shoko were the first ones to get out of the van. You and Gojo followed and then Nanami and Haibara were the last ones. You took in the sights before you. The ocean was a magnificent deep blue and the beach was vibrant white. The sun beamed down on you making you squint despite the fact that you were wearing sunglasses.

Before you could react you saw Gojo, Geto, and Haibara all running at full speed as they raced towards the water ahead. You could hear Haibara say the sad was too hot as he finally made it to the water, coming in third place with Gojo in first. A laugh erupted from you and Shoko as you held onto each other. You then looked at Nanami who had a content smile on his face which made you even happier. Just as you were about to say something to him, Shoko grabbed your arm pulling you to the other boys that were now splashing each other aggressively.

“Come on y/n!” Shoko yelled as she pulled you. You can’t remember the last time she was so lively, but you relished in it.

“Shoko we need to put sunscreen on first.” You giggled

“Oh yeah, right.” She stopped giving you a sweet smile.

“Might as well set up a spot too I guess.” You chimed in. You looked back at Nanami who also started making a spot.

“Good idea, because there is no way in hell these boys are going to do it right. Well maybe Nanami.” She spoke.

The two of you then set up a spot with towels and a few beach umbrellas. It didn’t take long as the two of you were eager to be in the water. You and Shoko then got the sunscreens out of your bags and began putting it on yourselves. What you didn’t notice was Gojo staring intently at you, as he had for nearly the whole time you and Shoko were setting up the spot.

Just then, Gojo ran up to the two of you. His whole body soaking wet from the endless splashing he did with the boys. He stood in front of you with a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, you need help putting that sunscreen on y/n? Wouldn’t want ya burning.” He asked with a playful smirk

“Sure, why not. Thank you Gojo.” You responded handing him the bottle of sunscreen.

He took it happy from your hands as he gestured for you to turn around, to which you obliged. You could hear the sound of it opening and soon enough Gojo was applying it on your back. You didn’t even realize the furious blush on your face in this moment. The feeling of his hands on your body gave you goosebumps. And a content sigh left your lips. Gojo chuckled at this as he took it upon himself to give you a small massage which made you let out another sigh.

“There that should be good.” He commented but before you could respond he bent down and began whispering in your ear. “Y/n from now on I’d be honored if you’d call me Satoru.” He whispered as his right hand was still on your lower back. You turned your head to look at him as your eyes met his. You were so close to each other and if anyone was looking at the two of you, they would assume you guys were a lovesick couple. Shoko who was next to the two of you smiled thinking how finally the two of you were finally getting somewhere.

“Thank you Satoru.” You whispered looking back in fourth between his lips and his piercing eyes.

“Anything for you.” Satoru responded getting closer.

You moved yourself closer too even though space was rather limited at this point. You could feel his breath on his face. His eyes bore into yours as you couldn’t hide the fact that you wanted him to kiss you. Satoru could tell you wanted it and just as he was about to kiss you a beach ball was launched at the two of you. Thankfully, Satoru turned on his infinity shielding the two of you from it.

“Sorry Satoru! Sorry L/N!”Yelled Geto who stood in the water.

“Dammit Suguru!” Satoru exclaimed as he ran towards Geto. As he did he made sure to turn and give you a wink before running off towards his best friend.

Satoru tackled Geto and the two of them began wrestling in the ocean. This made you roll your eyes as Shoko laughed. The rest of the day consisted of you and Shoko talking under the umbrella talking and enjoying each others company. And occasionally going to the beach and making sandcastles. The boys spent the day playing in the water and making a sand fort. Nanami and Haibara took a walk down the beach with Haibara talking Nanami’s ear off, not that he minded. All of you enjoyed your time so much that when it was finally sunset, it had felt like the day had passed quickly.

“We should probably get going soon.” Shoko groaned.

“Yeah, or else Yaga is gonna be on our ass for being late.” You sighed dreading going back to school.

“Ha, not you with your perfect grades and all.” She teased putting away her beach stuff.

“Oh hush.” Responded.

As you and everyone else were putting away your stuff, you noticed Satoru missing from the bunch. You looked around only to see him standing in the ocean looking like he was staring off into the distance. He looked sad, almost melancholy. Your heat skipped a beat and before your brain had any say, you walked up to him. You then stood next to him looking up at his expression. He still hadn’t turned to you but you soon felt his hand grasp yours. You let this happen wanting to feel his warm hand on yours too. You both enjoyed the warm and comfortable sounds of the ocean with the waves crashing softly against your knees.

After a little while, he turned his head in your direction as a small smile appeared on his face. He couldn’t help but look at you. To him you were simply beautiful and someone he looked up to. You were strong, brave, and kind. However, you never boasted your power like he did. Instead you were humble about it and always congratulated others on their achievements without even a drop of envy. You were someone he dared admit that he really liked. And he was so glad that you agreed to come here on this beach trip with him. He then sighed gathering enough courage within him to ask you something that had been plaguing his mind for months.

“Y/n..” he dragged out feeling nervous

“Yes Satoru?” You asked with sweetness lacing your voice making his insides turn to mush.

“I’m sorry if this is forward, but would you like to date me?” He asked feeling relieved that he finally got those words out. You paused for a second taking in the question he asked as your chest filled with a warmth that only he seemed to ignite within you.

“Yes.” You replied simply. As you turned your head to him squeezing his hand softly as you did so. You then smiled at him giving him a loving gaze that made him give you one back. “What took you so long?” You teased to which he rolled his eyes playfully.

“To be honest, you make me nervous. You’re strong and your confident. And that’s super sexy.” He teased back wiggling his eyebrows

“Oh s-shut up.” You replied

“Oi, lovebirds we gotta go!” Yelled Geto from a distance.

“Shit.” You both muttered at the same time.

You both the began walking hand in hand back to the van. However, with a sudden burst of confidence, you swiftly turned around wrapping your arms around Satoru’s neck. His expression was a mixture of excitement and shock. You then pressed your lips against his, piling him closer to you. Satoru wrapped his arms around your body pulling you closer too as he reciprocated the kiss adding even more passion. His lips were addicting to say the least as you wished that you had more time to savor him. Satoru felt the same as he brought one of his hand ups to your face caressing it slowly. You then broke the kiss feeling hot from the feeling of being that connected with him.

“Are you okay?” He whispered being his other hand up to your face as he held it gently.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked putting your hands on his giving him a content smile.

“I’m absolutely perfect.” He replied

“We should be getting back now.” You said reluctantly looking at the color of the sunset.

“Yeah, don’t want Yaga getting on our asses for being late.” Satoru said as he took your hand once again as the two of you even waking. You already missed the feeling of his large hands on your cheeks.

“True that.” You replied giving his hand a squeeze.

“I’m glad you came with us today.” He said happily.

“Me too.” You replied.

“Fucking finally.” Geto and Shoko said in unison as you and Satoru sat together in the van. A furious blush gracing both of your cheeks.

“Agreed.” Nanami sighed behind you.

“Happy for you guys.” Haibara chimed in being positive as usual.

“Thank you.” You replied to him putting your head in Satoru’s shoulder.

The drive back was peaceful and filled with hope. Despite your lives, you and Satoru were content knowing that despite the shit that you would both experience, you would have each other. As the future for you both you be tough but in the end happy…or was it?

Thank you so much for reading!💜

Please feel free to request, comment, like, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

[shrimpalbuspotter]

Do you have any thoughts on the future of Scorpius and Albus after the events of the play. And I mean a year or so after that. Maybe even into adulthood. Plz and thank you.

So sorry I got to this late. Yes, I do!

Well we firstly need to start with thinking about if they are definetly dating by the end of the changed play. From what we see, it makes most sense that they are an established couple, it's just at the very beginning of the relationship. I think maybe they confessed a month or so after the main events of the play, and they both awkwardly stumbled around eachother for a bit afterwards. It explains why Albus is so nervous about the hug. They've not made any real, intimate contact for a month now. So to me, they hadn't even asked eachother out at that point, they were just both aware that they liked eachother mutually. It's why Scorpius's "In this new version of us" would've been so impactful. Its the first, real admittance that they are something more now.

So since that's out of the way, we skip to 5th year! During the Summer, Scorpius and Albus would've been visiting eachother FREQUENTLY. The two probably spent alot of their time at the Manor, because Albus didn't want Scorpius to be surrounded by his annoying siblings. We'd have the whole "meet the parents" shtick where Harry works to make a good new impression on Scorpius (who is already a fanboy) and Scorpius squeals in unmasked excitement everytime he meets a new Weasley family member. Albus and Draco are already fond of eachother, but Draco still insists on taking him on bonding outings.

Now we are in school. Rose is back to being friends with Albus, so I think the Cronies (Polly and her crew) would back off. There's still teasing, obviously. Rose can't stop everyone from making snide comments, or casting a subtle tripping hex in the halls, but it is rarer. Its a stark difference from the boys experiences in first to third year (and a portion of fourth, where its all still quite fresh and messy, and Rose is still slightly irked by Scorpius). So they had some peace, it was nice!

Albus decided to start focusing more on his studies, since he has OWLS coming up. I've always headcanoned this, but I imagine he'd take Ruins and Artithmancy. These are two extremely difficult classes. He took them because Scorpius did. I imagine he'd drop Ruins fairly quick and replace it for Care of Magical Creatures. Studying is difficult for him and so he forms a study group with Rose, Scorpius, and some Ravenclaw girl. (He likes Artithmancy alot. Totally not tied into my hc that he'd be a math whizz in the muggle world.)

As I mentioned, Scorpius takes Artithmancy and Ruins. However... He drops Arithmancy for Magical Theory. Its not that he doesn't enjoy the class, he just prefers studying the intricacy of spells and magic in general. Albus throws a fit ofcourse, because now they aren't doing any electives together.

They have alot of their firsts in fifth year. They hadn't kissed until then, despite dating for almost a year. It was in the dorms, after Slytherin won a Quidditch match against Gryffindor, and they'd hidden away from the party in their room. Scorpius was reading a book aloud and Albus just leaned in to give him a little peck. It was awkward. It was embarassing. They didn't kiss again until a month after because they'd been rendered shocked for so long. (After this, little kisses on the cheek or head were common for them, if it was on the lips it was chaste. They still have no clue what they are doing, and it's pretty odd to suddenly display this affection to a person who was your bestfriend for years, even if you are hopelessly inlove with them.)

I'm going to very lightly go over their first time being properly intimate, and just say it was done as more of a thing they HAD to do rather than WANTED to do. Scorpius is on the ace spectrum to me so I think they'd very rarely engage in it anyway, but the first time wasn't much special. They didn't feel like they were any closer now than they were before. It was just a thing that happened (although both were still very flustered after the whole experience).

Albus finally got his Hogsmeade permission form, and they had many dates to Honeydukes on weekends. Albus also liked to pop in to visit Zonkos, where he frequently saw James ii and Fred ii. That was usually a sign to leave, because if James caught sight of his brother, he'd most definetly aim whatever joke he had in his hand towards him. Scorpius just enjoyed seeing his boyfriend having fun with his brother. It was sweet, if you ignored Albus's screams as he runs away.

Now adulthood? That's a very difficult question for me to answer. I've always been stuck on Albus's career specifically. But whatever!! This'll be nice and quick!!

Albus gets a cosy little muggle flat in Scotland, where Scorpius moves in but insists they add a floo network so he can go to work easily. Scorpius is a Mediwizard at St Mungos! He also experiments with creating his own treatments to work against wizarding ailments. Alongside this, he has a fascination with Curse Breaking, and likely would've entered into that as a career if he didn't go the Healer route.

Albus works in theatre, behind the scenes, on lighting/sound. He truly just wanted to get away from anything too magical. But I think he'd go to a muggle college or uni at some point, and get some sort of maths degree. Just for fun, he doesn't even use it. He doesn't even need to work, he just refuses to sit inside all day waiting for Scorpius to come home.

Also, they marry fresh out of Hogwarts, but they get engaged while IN Hogwarts. Seventh year. Nobody could talk them out of it, saying they should wait until they are a bit older to make such a decision, they were DEAD SET on this. The weddings small, just family, and its completely inside. Very quaint!

That's... All I got. So far. Honestly, I should think more about their future prospects outside of "married and living together huehuehuehe".

Thank you for the Ask anon!

[futureplayboibunnie]

Let Them Bleed For All I Care (pt.2)

Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

being fuckbuddies with Miguel O’Hara wasn’t easy when you were both intensely yearning

okay i bust my ass for this second part cause i just luv angsty smut with miguel sm. ooooh this was so juicy to write.

warnings: smut 18+ (MDNI this is obscenely filthy), angsty as hell, teading and brattiness, avoidance and attatchement with this brooding ass man, sensual aftercare confessions (tehehee)

It's been a few weeks since that certainly enlightening morning. Neither of you talked about it after. In fact, you both avoided each other even more if that was even possible.

After your confession to Miguel, you couldn't handle the weight of it being out in the open. It was so dense and cruel- it was embarrassing and you didn't want to constantly be feeling this way about him. So...vulnerable, it was just something you couldn't afford at this point, you've more than paid your dues and you were done being run dry. Feeling this way about someone like Miguel was dangerous as it was careless- he was also your fucking boss but you wanted him, fucking hell, you needed him and it's just ugly from all sides.

He said 'let them bleed for all I care’ but the problem was...you did. You can't handle compromising such a thing. He probably understands but he also probably resented you for it and neither of you was willing to talk about how devastatingly desperate you were for each other. Fuck, you missed him, you wanted him so bad you were sure it wasn't healthy. You caught glances of him looming around in the shadows at HQ, looking vacantly provoked and displeased. He wouldn't talk about it, and the rest of the spiders had to bare the brunt of it all, no one was surprised at this shift in attitude- it was just Miguel O'Hara being duplicitous like he criticized you for being. Fucking hypocrite. HQ was practically empty and everyone had gone home to their respective dimensions but just like that everything just became ten times worse when he practically grabbed you by the wrist and slung you into his office, you wanted to have a temper tantrum in his arms and you attempted to struggle away from his hold but he gripped onto you harder. Miguel left you stumbling as he let you go so he could swing up on his high-rise platform, looking at the screens and sighing heavily.

“Miguel-“ You started when you picked yourself up and pocketed your mask, your face vacant and slightly irked as you stared up at his broad back. He fiddled around with his screens, pulling up a grab of you on an earlier mission today and you were already dreading his inevitable response to your catastrophic fuckup...or the fact that you had both been avoiding each other? You'd prefer the former over the latter. “If this is about what we said I don't have time for it.”

“No. It's not. You fucked up the mission pretty badly...you ran instead of fought.” Miguel bit at you venomously, trying his hardest not to get pissed at you. Anyone else would've gotten a verbal tongue-lashing from him but you, he tried to reign in his temper.

“So now what, you're scolding me for doing what I thought was right?”

“You have an irritating tendency to run away.” He wasn't sure if he was referencing the mission or you telling him you loved him and decided to leave right after. This was what Miguel was afraid of: being left, being betrayed when he finally let someone in and now he was reaping the consequences of trusting. He trusted you and you left him, now he was particularly furious and bitter towards everyone.

“I don't think this is about the fucking mission at all, Miguel. I don't want to fucking hear it, I'm leaving.”You waved your hand as if to dismiss the situation and hell would freeze over before he let you leave right now. Miguel frowned and instinctively webbed your waist and dragged you on the platform.

“Let go! Let me the fuck go Miguel-“Your protests fell on deaf ears, he was like a man on a mission to just get you close to him, anyhow, anyway he could. He placed you in front of him, his hands falling to your shoulders.

“You're so fucking unreadable.” He gritted through clenched teeth, his jaw grinding in the process and you could practically hear the bones crunch against each other as his eyes burned into yours. “I've been going fucking crazy because I don't know what you're thinking, what you want.”

“Miguel, I swear to God, if you keep talking-“ you tried to warn him and struggle against him but his hands were planted firmly on your body, the hairs on your neck stood to attention almost immediately and you hated how pathetic that made you feel

“Was anything you said true? Or do you just pity me? Is that why you said it?” Miguel tensed his eyebrows, his voice low and deep as he implored you to make him see reason, the eye contact between you never wavered once as if you were both challenging each other.

“What No!”

“Then enlighten me on why I haven't been seeing you.” He grunted, his tone filled with undignified fury.

“Because if I crawl into bed with you, if I let myself get involved with you further than we already are...we'll both do something that we can't undo.” You attempted to reason with him but you knew once he set his mind to something he won't change it.

“I don't care.”

“Well, I do. Don't act all flippant and self-absorbed. You created all of this for a reason.”

“So you tell me you love me and then you run away from me.” His voice faltered a little and you felt your heart wilt and dampen with sadness at such a thing.

“You should get it, Miguel. Loving you makes me sad and fucking insane. It makes me weak and unfocused, is that what you want?” You were pissed and it was searing your skin, hot to the touch. You were tired of fighting him but you weren't backing down, you could understand how your actions and words could be confusing or misinterpreted- your brain was fighting your heart and your body was fust in a state of hyperactivity as you were practically begging for him to touch you again. Miguel's gaze softened at your aggravated confession, he was taken aback. He didn't know what else to say, his mouth unhinged open as if he was going to say something. Instead, you just grabbed onto him before you had another chance to think, your face instinctively buried in his neck and inhaled deeply, your nimble fingers unable to resist raking through his hair. His steely resolve faltered at the slightest touch. “I miss you...” You breathed in his ear, planting a kiss on his earlobe. Miguel was even more confused now but then you let him go to stare into his eyes “….But I can't have you. You cradled his face with your hands and he looked like he had just seen a ghost, those words setting deeply into his chest.

“Stop playing a martyr for something that hasn't even happened yet.” You attempted to swing away but he just grabbed onto your waist and rooted you back to the ground, his other hand gripping on both of your wrists and dragging you closer to his chest.

"Oh like you do. You're a fucking hypocrite, this happened before and you lost everything.” You yelled through clenched teeth, eyes glued to his, your reply providing him with a tenacious red glow to his eyes alongside the blue vein popping out of his neck. he was furious about you reminding him of it, he knew it perfectly he fucked everything up.

Miguel pulled your wrists closer to him and smashed his lips against yours. He grunted with a certain passion he had never given you- as much as you wanted to and tried to struggle and squirm away, you couldn't, you missed the taste of his lips so brutally. Miguel released your wrists and gripped your cheeks, forcefully slipping his tongue into your gaping wet mouth as you panted into his. You were drooling for him already. Too consumed by how aggressively you've missed his harsh touch. Miguel's particularly apathetic hands flew to the back of your neck, taking complete and utter control of you as if to prove a point you were too hot and wet to care about.

“I don't give a damn about any of it. Let them fucking break. I don't care.” He pulled away to whisper hoarsely in your ear, his temper besting him once again. He wasn't sure if he believed any of the words he said himself but when he was with you...all he wanted was to have you.

“'I don't believe you.” You whined at him your eyes gleaming with sadness and arousal at the same time. Miguel pulled your hair and tugged it, you yelped helplessly and he enjoyed hearing such a pretty sound. Oh, he'll fucking show you.

Miguel tisked at you, his fangs vibrating against his gums and his teeth threatening to shatter before he fiddled with his watch and entered the bedroom of your universe. It was all over in a flash and the look on your face was that of pure unbridled surprise even though this perfectly aligned with Miguel's impulsive and arrogant nature- the man still fucking surprised you, damn. He threw you to the floor and sat himself on the edge of the bed, gasp fell from your lips as you reluctantly hung your head up to stare into those ferocious and unending eyes.

“Sit and stay.” He gritted.

“I'm not a dog.” You warned him but he wasn't listening.

“I know we're having a lover's spat right now but I've been hard ever since I fucking touched you. Do something about it.l he demanded ever so pompously, his ego bursting out of him as you pretended you weren't enjoying this but your thighs were trembling as you kneeled in front of him.

“Wow, I'm a stickler for honesty.” You rolled your eyes at him and his condescension. Miguel gripped your cheeks, his talons slightly peaking out and napping the skin of your face. Your eyes darted down to see that his hologram suit was no more...well, he definitely wasn't lying. It had been a few weeks but you did miss this part of him, the angry and volatile part. It made for the best kind of sex.

“Stop sulking and do as you're told.” His voice was severe and rough, and his demands during sex were always serious but he had never been this pissed before. You were on his leash, unhappily hanging onto the filthy shit his mouth had to offer. You hated that he made you weak for him. Your eyes widened as you glared at his thick and veiny cock, the tip leaking as it stood directly in front of your face. Your mouth dropped open in an attempt to search for words long gone by now but your face scrunched up into a fiendish scowl.

“What if I bite it off? Would that appease your insatiable appetite?” You challenged through flirtatious and defying eyes. Miguel's fingers hooked under your chin as if he was cooing at you wickedly.

“Don't be a bitch.” You leaned in and kissed the tip of his twitching cock, your teasing eyes were transfixed on his and he could've cum right then and there. “Come on, no teasing...Por favor...I mean-please.” He breathed and the way he was finally polite about it made you want to laugh. You licked the underside of him before your lips swallowed him whole. The small broken gasp Miguel let out pricked at your ears when your mouth was stuffed full of him. He tasted so damn good and your tongue relished in the musk. His cock was magnificent, you hummed around him and his body jolted, Miguel's head hung back as he rested on the back of his hand. His palm went to your hair and pulled you on and off him

“Choke on me. I dare you.” He grunted as a bead of sweat swerved to his brow. You actually did as you were told for once, you took him so far down your throat to the point Miguel genuinely shuddered, he swore he could've cum on your pretty face just by the fact.

He was slightly worried you wouldn't be able to breathe, being the kind and selfless saint he dragged you by the hair and pulled you off and took a moment to appreciate you blinking up dumbly at him. Your mouth was wide open, lips parted and painted a pretty bloodshot red as if you had been chewing on them, drool fell down your chin and escaped the corners of your lips. You looked like wet dream and he wanted to plow you- he had been itching for you since you left him. You clambered onto his lap and kissed him hard, tongues sliding against each other as he sloppily bit at your lips. You ground into his aching hard cock and his talons ripped the remnants of your suit clean off, your naked body providing a feast for him to devour. Miguel kissed up and down your neck as his taloned palm rested on the skin at the back of it, tugging your head back for easy access to your skin

“I hate you.” You whispered knowing that you felt the complete opposite.

“I believe you.”

“I hate you for how I feel about you.” Your hands tangled in his hair and scratched at his scalp,

“I said I believe you.” He gripped your chin unkindly as he grazed his sharp fangs against your jaw and pushed you flat onto the bed before you could comment anything glib.

Miguel loomed over your body, the cascade of your hair flowing out onto your pillows only proved how fucking angelic you were. You were a drug that needed to be constantly pumped into his veins, without it he was empty. He pinched your nipples and twisted them, playing with your tits just to wind you up. You moaned as his tongue licked down your collarbone, between your tits down to your stomach. Miguel loved that you were always so responsive, he loved how your body arched off of the bed and into his touch. Your legs hooked up onto his perfect broad shoulders and the look that was shared between you was sharp and piercing. He moved his face down to your lower stomach and shifted slightly so that he was face-to-face with your glistening pussy. He suppressed a quiet groan at the sight of you bare and vulnerable underneath him, writhing and squirming as you gripped the bedsheets, threatening to tear the fabric apart.

"You've been cruel to me these past few weeks Hermosa.” He growled at the memory of you actively avoiding him. “You said you loved me and then you ran away...this is also what you ran from.” Miguel slipped two fingers into your sopping hole. “Me. Making you feel like this.”

He curled his fingers up to massage that spot inside of you that made your body jerk around. “I feel you clenchingaround me...already?” He smirked at your body giving you away, your head buried back into the pillow as your eyes screwed shut, the pleasure of his nimble fingers overwhelming you.

“Please…”

“You want me to eat you out? An eye for an eye?' He was dragging it out and all you could do was moan at nothing. To stop your incessant panting, he retracted his fingers that were inside of you and shoved them into your mouth to lick them clean. “Yeah, I’ll do just that.” You let go with a pop at the prospect of tasting yourself, you tasted...good.

“Then do it.” Whining and groaning didn't seem to do anything to avert him from instantly indulging in your desires. Miguel stroked your thighs and spread them wider as they rested on his shoulders. His tongue swiped onto your aching slit, the wetness collecting on his tongue as he finally got what he was silently begging from you for weeks. He swiped his mouth on your sticky folds and felt your body shake as he continued his wicked machinations and ministrations.

“I've been dying to taste you agaib. You've held out on me and I won't forgive you for that.” He mumbled against your skin, his lips viciously latching onto your swollen clit and sucking. You cried out as he kept licking and sucking on you faster and harder.

“Miguel...I'm gonna-“You started to feel your throat going sore and raw as you tried to tell him you were about to finish but instead he found the perfect opportunity to show some cruelty to you. He lifted his head and all you saw was his roguish grin.

“You couldn't possibly believe that I would make you cum that easily after everything you've done to me...no, I want you to cum on my cock." He reassured but you felt betrayed by his cold demeanour. Miguel kissed you harshly and bit your lip, as if it was instinct, you whined into his mouth. His cock slapped against your clit and the vulgarity of the wet sound made you shiver, he guided his aching shaft down your sticky fold and pummelled into your leaking hole without any time to adjust to his massive and borderline scary size. You're still not used to it after all this time.

“You're infuriating.” A broken moan fell from your lips as he rutted in and out of you, hitting that spongy spot that made you see stars and fireworks. You meant what you said but you didn't mean it either. He keeps harping on about how confusing you were and you were now beginning to have an inkling that he was onto Something that you didn't have time to self-reflect on.

“So are you.” He exhaled raggedly into your mouth, his strokes were powerful and long and just fucking surreal. He buried himself to the hilt and you squeezed around him mercilessly, clenching like crazy. Your pussy was made for him, you were quite literally sucking the soul out of him.

“Let me cum...please...Or I swear to God-“ You felt the coil within you tighten and threaten to snap if he continued pounding into your raw pussy this way.

"Oh, you swear? Fine then take all of it.” He stuck his talons into your skin and shook your body about as his final thrusts were sloppy and less graceful.

The heat rising within the knots of your stomach released in a powerful gush, your heart kicking into a violent overdrive as your pants were borderline desperate. You came hard on his throbbing cock, the warm stickiness coating the most sensitive parts of him.

He fucked you through your mind-bending orgasm and bit your jaw. He pulled out and released thick white ribbons onto your chest as a guttural groan rippled throughout his body, stilling after he was finished fucking you to the brink of insanity. Your eyes met his and they were wild and angry, the looks you shared were nasty and mean, completely conveying both of your moods. Miguel rolled over beside you as you were practically still leaking from where he plugged his cock into you and your chest which he so vulgarly defiled. Neither of you talked, you had to regain the breath back into your lungs as you reeled yourselves back in from that I love you but I hate what you did sex. You both scowled at the wall waiting for either party to crack through the silence. You swiped a finger on the sticky liquid on your chest, popping it into your mouth for a taste.

"You still taste good.” You said bluntly, hating that you gave in to his intoxicating purpose just by a lick.

“Hm. I should clean you up.” Miguel replied half-heartedly, both of your minds still heavy with the real issue at hand as he leaned up and left the bed to enter your bathroom. You sighed and frowned at the wall splayed out wistfully on the bed. He came back with his boxers on and with a towel and some body oil. He was still pissed and his face was still hard and steely. You only mimicked such a bodily response.

Miguel sat on the edge of your side of the bed and swiped the towel over his own makeshift painting, he threw it onto the floor once he was finished. The thought would have made him smirk any other day but he was combative and assailing, he had no problem showing that to you even though he loved you.

“Sit up.” He demanded coldly and you gave him an unbothered apathetic look and yet he did the same, you couldn't peel your eyes away from each other and that's what made this all the more dangerous. Miguel poured some of the oil onto his palm and started massaging it onto your arms and neck, soothing everything sore.

“This is a nice change of pace.” You joked with little to no humor apparent in your voice. He's never done this before, it was actually...quite nice.

“We wore each other out, don't you think?” He responded coolly, acting so unaffected and nonchalant. You despised such a tedious and banal thing. He kept smothering you in the thick and warm oil, his big hands kneading and teasing you again, your flesh glowing and shining under the soft light of your bedroom.

“I still love you.” You blurted without thinking and his hands stopped their movements and his soft gaze turned into a weary glare. Miguel knew for an irrefutable fact that he loved you too and that's what was making him so deranged and angry. “I feel so exposed and vulnerable for loving you.”

“But you did the one thing that could really hurt me. You left me.” He confessed and the words made your heart sick. You hurt him which was one of the last things you've ever wanted to do. “The amount of vulnerability you're feeling right now is what I have to feel all the time. It's the same story. I started this. I have to lead this. I have to take calculated risks which could blow up in my face and kill millions of people as we know it but you...leaving me was the one thing that really hurt me.” He was baring his soul to you yet again. You blinked up at him, your face easing with every word that fell out of his mouth. You felt guilty for doing this to him after he told you that it would tear him up inside. You grabbed his face and cradled it, the pad of your thumb smoothing out the skin of his cheek.

“I shouldn't have left you. I know I shouldn't have. But I'm scared Miguel...see, I was scared of other people being hurt or collateral because being selfless comes with consequences but if someone else's house is on fire for once I'll let it burn because I don't want to leave you. I don't want to hurt you.” Your eyes were glassy and wide, exposing the truth in the process, and as always you disarmed him once more. Miguel turned his head to kiss your palm, his hand holding onto yours to keep in contact with the skin of his cheek.

“Then don't.”

[tangerinesgirl]

If you're taking requests could you please write something about thigh riding with either Frank from Abigail or Mark Hoffman please?

Occupied

Fem!Reader x Adam 'Frank' Barrett

Rating: NSFW, explicit, 18+

Word count: <1k

Synopsis: You've been teasing Frank all evening during the Abigail mission, despite both of you promising to keep it professional. He wants to teach you a lesson.

Warnings: shameless smut, thigh riding, asphyxiation, hair pulling, degrading, mirror sex

Notes: I did originally write a Hoffman one but lost enthusiasm for it idk why I might continue it! Hope you enjoy!

🦇

As you're looking in the mirror trying to regain your thoughts from the evening, you hear the bathroom door open and shut. The fact none of the doors in the house have any locks really irks you, "Occupied!" you shout at the intruder. But you're met with silence.

You roll your eyes as you slam the mirror and lipstick into your washbag and start to leave. You reach for the handle and notice Frank in the corner of your vision, "Jesus Christ!", you drop your bag out of shock.

"Not quite", is his reply. He's sat on a chair opposite a very tall mirror with lights around the outside, reminiscent of a backstage dressing room. You know the place is posh when there's a waiting area in the bathroom. He breaks his gaze away from the mirror and looks at you.

You freeze as Frank stares you down, "Did you uh, want something, or?"

Frank nods at his thigh, beckoning for you to sit on his lap. You scrunch your eyebrows and swallow out of nervousness. You glance around to make sure no one else is in the room, and slowly start to sit down on his thigh. Frank gets impatient and yanks your hair, forcing you closer to him, as you quickly slam yourself down onto his lap, turning you at the same time time so you face towards the mirror.

Frank leans into your ear, a tight hold on your hair still, exposing your neck and ear to him. "What the fuck has gotten into you tonight huh?"

You have been flirting with Frank the entire evening. You both agreed to keep it professional even if you are dating outside of the job, but you decided to have a little fun. You couldn't help but enjoy seeing him wound up.

"I'm... sorry, I-"

Frank cuts you off as he adjusts his grip in your hair, tightening once again. You wince as he does so. You glance down at the tent forming in his pants in the mirror, Frank notices your gaze and scoffs, "I don't think you deserve that tonight doll. I want to see how much of a desperate slut you are instead". He looks into your eyes in the mirror as he moves his thigh between your legs. You roll your eyes as you feel the fabric start to scrunch between your folds.

Frank's other hand starts to trace up your thigh and notices you're not wearing any underwear. He arches an eyebrow, "You really are dirty, aren't you? Just asking for it, with no underwear." You whimper, starting to rock back and forth with Frank's leg, looking for more friction to help release your pent-up energy. You moan as Frank's hand continues to roam your body, starting to dip under your neckline, playing with your breasts and nipples.

Frank pulls on your hair again and hushes into your hear, "Shhh, you want someone to walk in on us and compromise the whole mission? Shut the fuck up and watch". He grips your jaw and forces your gaze to the mirror. You continue to ride him, you're close but you need more to tip you over the edge of your orgasm.

"Frank, I'm close".

Frank clenches his jaw, your words turning him on even more. He swears under his breath, "Good girl, keep going."

He lets go of your hair and starts to undo his belt buckle, releasing his cock from his underwear. It's leaking with precum.

You also swear looking at him in the mirror, "Fuck, Frank I need you inside me".

He starts to palm himself looking at you, "No baby, remember, this is a lesson, I want you to cum on my thigh like the whore you are". He dictates every syllable in the end of his sentence like your three years old.

His words seem hurtful but you enjoy them in a twisted way. Frank moans in your ear as he jerks himself off, also adding to your pleasure. You're increasing your pace, struggling to finish, when Frank grips your throat with his other hand, squeezing slowly. Frank watching you in the mirror as the air slowly leaves your lungs, all while rubbing his cock, sends you over the edge as you arch your back and cum over his trousers.

Frank isn't too far behind you as he cums over his hand, some splashing onto the mirror and, unknowingly to you, on the back of your black dress. Frank pants breathlessly as he sinks into the back of the chair, reaching the end of his orgasm. You continue to stare at him in the mirror, his reflection slightly obscured by his seed.

You get up out of his lap, your release standing out on his black trousers. Frank tucks himself back into his trousers as you take one last glance at him and leave the bathroom, people would be starting to wonder where you are, and it would be suspicious both of you leaving at the same time.

Frank starts to clean up, he washes his hands, and starts to clean up the patch you made on his trousers with the same water. He looks down and notices your bag, and looks back up in the mirror at the cum, he smirks to himself and decides to leave the mirror and bag as is. He turns around looking for a hand dryer or a towel but is unsuccessful. He swears and shakes his hands aggressively to get rid of the excess water.

He walks out of the bathroom, mumbling under his breath that the house doesn't have any towels, when he looks up and notices Joey pointing a gun at Sammy and Peter.

[roselilianhale]

The grumpy cowboy (Twilight Gift Exchange)

Jasper Hale x Female reader (gift for flesh--amnesiac)

Summary: I'm thinking maybe Jasper and the reader have a hate to love relationship? Like maybe Jasper act like he hates the reader but deep down loves her. Like he gets annoyed at things that she does. Like maybe she's what is referred to as a sunshine character. Someone who's always happy and it like irks Jasper to no end instead of making him feel at ease. Maybe he does or says something to her that really cuts deep deep and he doesn't feel bad about it until he realise what he criticized her on was for her family who was life alteringly ill or something.

Notes: Takes place during the first book twilight. I am so sorry if Jasper seems OOC but I'm hoping by the end of it he seems more like the cowboy we all know and love. This is only my second x reader fic so bear with me! I'm not the best with writing angst but I'm gonna try!! :)

Notes for flesh--amnesiac: • 𝙈𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨 🎄 𝙄 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 • 𝙄 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 • 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 • 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙖 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙚

Warnings: Some angst but it'll have a sweet ending don't worry! <3

Word count: 3k

Tagging: @flesh--amnesiac and @twilight-secret-gift-exchange

Jasper's POV

My family and I walked into the Cafeteria, as we headed to our usual spot more than a few pairs of eyes landed upon us. We seated ourselves and started to converse. But the conversation wasn't eventful, all we did was some small talk. Today was going to be a long day, I thought glumly. I shifted my focus to my siblings. I noticed that each of them attempted to act as if we were eating but we failed miserably. I gave up long ago trying to act normal. I had heard more than a few ugly rumors about myself and my siblings. I shook that thought away. I gazed back at the food. Human food wasn’t…very good. But this school’s food was worse than the other school’s I’ve been to. Edward even tossed a piece of an apple across our table in disgust. I could feel his uneasiness towards our meals. They all felt disturbed by our food, I couldn't agree more it didn't exactly smell appetizing.

I felt their boredom, they tried to entertain themselves. Edward was focused on Jessica Stanley who was conversing with the new student Isabella Swan. Or Chiefs Swans daughter that many knew little about. But word travels fast, rumors run wild very quickly. I'm sure Jessica will learn a lot about her in a short period of time. That girl loves to talk. Everyone seemed to be curious and intrigued by Isabella just like they were when we arrived in Forks. Suddenly I could feel frustration and anger radiating off of Edward. I decided against asking him, he usually would vocalize these things when he was ready. So I shifted my focus to Alice, she appeared to be having another vision. I wonder what it could be? She was deep in thought, I thought it would be best if I left her alone. I wouldn't want to disturb her while in such a fragile state. 

Emmett had his arm around Rosalie, they were both entranced into one another. I could feel the love they had for one another, it radiated brightly. I turned my attention away when I heard a familiar voice. 

I looked to the side, getting a small view of who was conversing. I realized that Y/N was talking to the new girl Isabella Swan. She introduced herself “Hi I’m Y/N! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled warmly at her. I don't understand how she can be so…nice all the time. She held her hand out for Isabella to shake. Isabella looked surprised but took her hand, and shook it gently.  “It was a pleasure to meet you as well.” Y/N spoke up and asked “It’s Isabella right?” 

“No, I go by Bella.” Isa–Bella I corrected, she looked annoyed. Y/N nodded in understanding. 

Bella turned to Jessica and asked, “Who are they?” 

Y/N chuckled. “What’s so funny?” Jessica asked.

“Oh nothing.” She turned her attention back to eating her lunch. I think the amount of time Jessica has talked about us Y/N is sick of it. 

I didn't particularly like her. We'd never quite gotten along. But some may argue that I never really gave her a chance or anyone for that matter. Most humans avoided us, but I guess what worked out well for me because of their scent. Socializing doesn't work very well due to my lack of control. The thirst for blood was just too much. I felt my throat burn, lunch will be over soon then I can get some fresh air. I need it desperately. 

I could feel Emmett conflict as I continued gazed at where she was seated. But he finally got the guts and asked me, "Why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her." He gave me a look. The rest of my siblings turned to look in our direction. Edward tore away from looking at Bella and turned to me. He smirked, he leaned forward listening intently.

"Okay, okay I don't love her but I really don't hate her. She's just annoying and infuriating. And she’s just so…nice it irks me.” I shivered thinking about her. 

“It irks you?” Edward questioned. 

“Yes, Edward it does.” Emmett boomed with laughter. 

After wiping away some fake tears he said,“Uh huh. Suree.” I rolled my eyes at his antics. Rosalie looked amused as Emmett. They were truly made for each other. And Alice looked excited. I could feel her excitement, the question is what did she see?

The bell rang and my siblings and I headed to our next class. My next class just happened to be with Y/N but at least it was History, my favorite subject. 

…

Y/N’s POV 

I sat down in my usual spot in the classroom, I sat my romance book on the desk and situated myself. My partner wasn’t here today so I was sadly alone for the day but at least I could read. I flipped to my last spot and started to read. I was at the end of the book and it happened to be one of those hallmark books. Yeah I know it's cheesy. But it’s predictable and sweet. I was towards the end where they’d kiss and makeup. My favorite part. I smiled to myself, I felt a blush creep up on my face as the couple were finally leaning in to kiss and then the bell rang. I begrudgingly closed my book and looked up to listen to Mrs.Lewis. 

“Today in class, you will be starting a project on the Civil War.” Some of the people in my class groaned while others looked at each other excitingly, hoping to be groupmates or partners. 

“But I will be picking partners.” I groaned along with my peers. This was gonna be fun. Maybe it won’t be so bad? I guess I’m just gonna have to be hopeful I’ll get someone I like. 

“Now, Once you all will be in pairs together…” She emphasized and then continued. “You will be deciding on a certain event or a certain person that is critical to the Civil War. For example for a certain person you could do a presentation on President Lincoln or a Sergeant even that was critical or played a crucial part in the Civil War. In other words the person or event needs to be influential to what happened in the War. Now if any of you have any questions let me know.” She looked up eyeing the class. 

“Right, I almost forgot the project will be on a postboard. You will need four pictures of the event or person. You will need to explain why they were influential, 5 fun facts, a general explanation of the Civil War, and what happened at said event or what your person did.” 

I wonder who I’ll be with? I kept thinking this over and over. I was starting to get nervous. I suddenly felt a wave of calmness rush through me. I drifted my eyes from Mrs.Lewis and started to look around the room and met a pair of golden eyes. Jasper Hale was looking at me. Doesn’t he hate me…? At least that’s what it always has seemed like. But you could argue that he dislikes most people at this school. But if he does hate me, why? What'd I do? If he didn’t hate me so much I’d admit he’s kinda cute. Wait what? I turned away quickly trying to forget about that thought. 

Mrs.Lewis was calling partners, people were shifting to different seats. I tried to wait patiently but it wasn’t easy. I kept tapping my foot over and over again. And then I heard my name. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. Or who I was expecting to be with. 

She called, “Jasper Hale and Y/N L/N.” I didn't move. I stayed still. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting to be his partner.

I just couldn't believe it. I was gonna be partnered with Jasper Hale? We’ve never gotten along. Clearly since he hates my guts. 

“Ms.L/N?” Mrs.Lewis called. 

“Yes?” 

“Did you hear me? Are you going to move?” She asked. 

“Right, sorry Mrs.Lewis.” I moved my backpack, book and headed to where Jasper was sitting. He tended to sit in the back, he was always very quiet. He also had a habit of glaring at people and seemed to be in pain. I don't know how to explain it, it just always seems angry. I don't know what his problem is. Hmm maybe he has a good reason or there's more than what meets the eye. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want him to hate me, I don't want anyone to hate me. 

She nodded curtly. And I positioned myself in my seat. 

I focused my attention back to Jasper. I turned towards him and asked “So how do you want to do this?” I asked. 

“Do what?” He asked. 

“Umm…how do you want to split up the work and what event or person do you want to do the Civil War on?” I asked, for some reason I felt kinda awkward. 

He looked deep in thought, “We could do it on Abraham Lincoln. That shouldn't be too difficult.” 

“Okay.” I felt bored. I don't think this is gonna be a fun project. I looked down staring at my paper. While I was shocked Jasper grabbed our papers for the assignment. I think the paper had something to do with the research. It was supposed to guide us? 

“Am I boring you?” 

“What?!” I felt my cheeks flush. 

“N-no! I'm just unsure how to feel about the project that's all. I-it's not you.”

He leaned forward, “So it's the it's not you its me line, huh?” He joked. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile. His smile was beautiful like an angel. It may be silly or cheesy but it really did. 

“Nooo… okay maybe a little.” I felt a bit embarrassed. I rubbed the back of my neck. My cheeks once again flushed. So I decided to distract myself by grabbing a history book from my desk. I grabbed a pencil and started to write down some notes for the project. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking at me carefully. 

I turned back to look at him and said, “Umm…writing down some notes for the project?”

“You sound unsure.” He observed. 

I take a deep breath and say what’s been nagging at me this whole time. “Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you that was so awful? Why do you stare at me with daggers in your eyes?” I feel anger course through me. 

“Why do you care? You’re as bad as everyone at this school, in this town. You're all the same.” He said carelessly. He looked so angry. Rageful. His eyes were dark, coal back. I’ve never seen someone look this angry. It scared me. But then my anger rushed back, the nerve of this man. He knows nothing. I try to be kind, nice, good, and true. I’m not perfect but I’ve never said anything bad about him. Or about anyone. I try to be nice to him and to everyone for that matter. I am not always perfect. I may mess up and get angry but I’ve never treated him or anyone like this. I’ve never assumed that everyone is the same because they’re not! We’re all unique individuals with our own amazing qualities. But then the sadness rushed in me, I felt tears spring in my eyes. Why does he have to be so cruel and so cute? The bell had perfect timing, it rang and I left as fast as I could. 

…

Jasper’s POV

I could feel her anger from miles away. Who you may ask? My pixie of a sister. Alice. She’s angry, to put it lightly. My siblings wanted to know what was wrong. But neither of us would budge. I’m sure Edward tried to read her mind but she blocked him out. I only know this because he looked frustrated. When we got home she berated me. Everyone was staring. 

“What is wrong with you?!” She questioned. 

“What do you mean what’s wrong with me?” I asked. 

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You're gonna let her get away? She’s your mate! You love her! Anyone would say she's literally a ball of sunshine!” She yelled. I’d never seen her so angry. It was unlike her. I tried to send calming waves through her but that only made her angrier. She pointed a finger towards me, “Do not try to calm me down! I am not done! And I will not stop until you see reason!”

She continued by saying, “You thought it'd be a good idea to break her cute little heart? She cares about you Jasper, flaws and all. So go get her. Hold her tight and don’t let her go because she's a keeper, alright!” I stared at her blankly. She took a deep breath, “I know that your are most likely scared anyone would be–”

“Except for ME!” Emmett yelled. Rosalie slapped his head. “Aw!” He yelled again. Everyone watched and listened intently. 

“Anyways, I know you're scared but don’t push her away, you need her. And I know you assume the worst because you’ve all you’ve known but some humans can be truly good. Think about it. Please.” She pleaded. 

“I will.” I say calmly. 

She pointed her small finger at me again, “You better mister or you’ll be in a lot of trouble.” She said with some sass in her voice. I scoffed at her jokingly of course. 

I decided to get some fresh air, I needed to think.

When I first met her or saw her it did irk me with how much she could be kind or nice. But as time went on her kindness and sunshine felt pleasing. Most humans especially when they’re teenagers emotions are everywhere and that means it can be a lot. It can be suffocating at times. But when I felt Y/N’s emotions it was like a breath of fresh air. It felt good after so long of so many suffocating emotions. But it did take a while before it felt like this. For the first year I had met her I really did dislike her and how she acted irked me. It rubbed me the wrong way. Then I realized I didn’t hate her, I loved her. She was so kind, so sincere, so true and I didn’t want to take that away. So I avoided her, I kept telling myself I hated her with every fiber of my being. But it just isn’t true. Even though I knew she was kind I did feel a bit wary of her because most people in this High School weren’t exactly the most sincere. And then I convinced myself she was just like everybody else. It would be easier this way, I wouldn’t hurt her. I wouldn’t harm her. I honestly don’t know why I said what I did. Maybe in a way it was me trying to protect myself from harm or maybe it was the fact I wanted to protect her from me. I think I’m scared of hurting her. 

The look in her eyes broke my heart. The way her eyes were glossy from tears ready to spill out of her eyes was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Alice thought she needed to snap some sense in me but she didn’t. I already knew. I could already feel it. I could feel her heartbreak, her anger towards me. But I can’t leave her like that. I have to do something. I won’t leave the person I love most hurt so deeply. I have to mend her broken heart, I have to mend my broken heart too. I love her too much to leave her in the state she is. I remember the way it felt when her heart broke into a million pieces. I felt her anger. I could imagine her saying “How dare he?” ‘Why would he think that?” I say how she essentially ran out of the classroom because of the pain I’d caused her. I felt her fear, I wanted her to feel safe with me. But first I need to hunt quickly and I know something for certain. I will do something about this. I vow to never cause her such pain again. 

…

Y/N’s POV 

I felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces and was trampled on. I was currently laying in my soft, comfy bed surrounded by my favorite stuffed animals alongside my trusty tub of ice cream. I also was playing soft music in the background. I felt tears stream down my face, I snuggled closer to my stuffed animals. I know it may be childish but I need all the comfort I can get. So who cares!

I couldn’t help but think of the times when I saw Jasper help a fellow classmate or when he helped one of the teachers. Many including myself thought at times he seemed cold but that wasn’t it was it? I’m sure what’s going on with me but I don't think he is what meets the eye. But at the same time that can’t be true he literally just looked at me with such hatred. Now, I don’t know what to think. Maybe he isn’t as good as I thought. I hope I’m wrong. I turned over and closed my eyes. But just as I started to doze my mom yelled, “Y/N! You have a visitor!” A visitor? Who’s coming to visit me? What’s going on? I moved from my bed practically running down the stairs. I kept thinking who it could be. I was not expecting him to be here. I was shocked. My mom said with a small smile “I’ll leave you too alone.” 

It was Jasper. He was here! He was wearing a black suit which, funny enough, suited him well. He looked very gentleman-like and handsome. I couldn’t help but blush looking down. I had almost forgotten what had happened. But it hit me like a rock. He said some pretty cruel things. And scared me half to death while doing it. I looked up at his honey golden eyes, “Why are you here?” I asked quietly. I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was unsure. But a question kept popping in my head, Why is he here? What does he want?

He spoke up and said, “I came here to apologize, I should have said what I did. It was wrong. You aren’t like everyone and perhaps everyone else isn’t so bad either. You truly are an amazing person and I am so lucky to have met you. You're so warm, so kind, nice, sweet, sincere, loyal, and true. If you can accept me for what I am, flaws and all, then I’d be the happiest man on earth.” I gasped. No man, no guy, no boy had ever said anything like this to me before. 

And I could see it in his eyes. He meant it, he loved me too. He truly cared and I hadn’t felt that in a long time. I felt tears fall out of my eyes. And I hugged him and he spun me around. I had never felt this happy, this joyous. 

“Of course, I forgive you! You’d be too hard not to be such a gentleman!” I let out a giggle. He wipes out my remaining tears. He speaks up again, “I have one more surprise.” He pulls out a bouquet of Gardenia. It could mean, “Purity and sweetness and they can indicate a secret love or crush. They give joy and if given you are telling the recipient you think they are lovely.” It’s funny I just read this the other day. This man is full of surprises but amazing ones.

“I love you Jasper Hale.” He smiles, “I love you too Y/N L/N too.” He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips.

The End

[alliskit]

The Grand Design.

TW: 18+.THE NEXT SEVERAL CHAPTERS will include depictions of abuse and violence. It addresses sexual abuse themes and includes explicit sexual content.

CONTENT WARNING: Depictions of attempted suicide (not super detailed, just implied) Verbal Abuse (some detail) Sexual Abuse (some detail)

TLDR: Skip from ["Abigail..." he warned.] to ["New Memory."]

Song for the chapter:

On AO3.

CH. 9: Day Two.

- He was impressed - Hello Soldier (Jen POV)

I learned a few things that night.

First, the hag could hear us. 

As a joke I yelled for something to sleep on out of the gash in the wall. Moments later, several pillows, blankets, and a large cot bed appeared on the far side of the cave. Then I called out for some blood rags and something for cleaning ourselves. Two piles of towels appeared. One pile was damp, rolled up, and warmed, and enchanted to reset after each use. It was similar for the pile of clean dry rags for my period.

When those showed up, I became very cognizant of Astarion. The blood was only due to get worse over the next few days. He assured me he had kept himself from biting many a human woman on their bleedings for two hundred years. It was a fluke the night before. 

I didn't trust him, but it's not as if I could do anything about it. Only hope he would at least try this time since he couldn't drink my blood anyway.

Second, he had a massive back tattoo. When the cave light dimmed down to blue and yellow glowing mushrooms throughout the cave, I decided to it was high time to try to sleep. I took off my boots and socks, set my gun up near my head, and tried to tuck myself in on the double cot only to be assaulted with, "You're sleeping in your armor?" In which I had to remind him he ruined my only corset, so I was free balling under my leathers. He said something he thought was sexy, but was just slimy as he took a seat at the end of the 'bed'.

"Was that a joke?"

He paused. It clearly wasn't. "I'm here for your entertainment."

"If that ain't the truth."

He wanted to be irked. He really did, but he tongued the inside of his cheek as he tried not to smirk at my comment. Then, he did something I didn't expect. He, very casually, took off his outer padded doublet and pulled off his ruffled shirt, handing it over to me. 

"Sleeping in leathers is like sleeping tied up."

I just watched him for a moment, taking the shirt from him. He nodded, turned, his back now exposed to me, and began pulling off his own boots. The tattoo on his back was large, intricate, and beautiful. It looked liked like a bleeding sun, the rays some kind of text. It must have taken hours and a few sessions to complete. It was completely white scar. I couldn't help staring at it. 

He turned and caught me. A small scowl greeted me. "Like what you see?"

My brows knit, "Am I not supposed to like it?"

He huffed through his nose as he glanced at the moss floor. Then, he looked back up at me, his face a little more congenial. "Out with it."

"What?"

"Any time someone sees it they have some kind of comment, so" he waved his hand, "Please get on with it."

I looked him up, "It's pretty? It looks like it hurt like a bitch, but it's really interesting and a cool concept."

He looked confused for a moment. "I'm not sure what you meant by the temperate context, but I assume it is a good thing." He looked back down at his boots. "And, I guess, thank you?" But, he didn't seem thankful.

I crumbled his shirt in my hands. "Alright, that response to your tattoo was super confusing. Most people get really excited to talk about the art they put on their bodies, but you seem... Not so." 

He turned his head toward me, but didn't look at me. "It's not a tattoo. It's..." He reached up over a shoulder and brushed a corner of it with his finger tips. "Scars. They're scars from something my... Cazador put on my back. I've... never even seen it."

I didn't respond.

He turned a little to look back at me. A small, pitiful grin meeting me. "He did it in a night. And I guess it's somewhat a solace that it's beautiful." He faced the knotted door, hands clenched together as he leaned on his knees. "I wouldn't expect anything less of him."

An awkwardness laid between us after that and even more so when I changed into his shirt. I expected it to smell like nothing since he is technically dead, so he probably wouldn't have body odor. Though, he could have smelled like death. But, instead, it smelled musky, nice, as if he wore cologne even while lost in the woods. I didn't ask. Even if I could conjure up some kind of tease, he might realize I actually liked it. And I didn't need him to realize anything as he laid down beside me. 

Lastly, the bastard barely sleeps. He wakes to do stuff to pass the time, too loud to let me sleep in peace. 

I laid there watching the light leak into the cave as he stalked around the fairy circle, again. 

"You'd better have found a way to send me back to Earth with all fucking noise you made."

He snorted, "I've been waiting for you to finally speak up. You've been stewing for hours."

I turned to face him on the cot.

His facial expression mocked me. "Don't you have children? How can you not sleep through noise?"

"Do people here in Faerun live in one room houses? Did your parents sleep through your antics?"

He rolled his eyes. "Some can only afford homes with one room."

"You don't cross me as poor. You probably sucked silver spoons."

He eyed me, "You know nothing about me."

"Ditto."

He raised a brow, "What?"

I blinked at him. "It means 'same'."

He made a face and went back to examining the fairy circle. After a moment, he spoke again, "Are you thirsty?"

I rolled onto my back again. "If you've found an alternate water source, please don't hold back."

He tipped his head to me, "No. Your only options to throw yourself from a cliff or drink what's on the tray."

”Why did you want to know then?”

He hummed, “To get a better picture of how long we have before making some difficult decisions.”

I sat up, the shirt falling a little with the loosened laces. He scanned my exposed collarbone impassively, then looked away. He was in his doublet, the front open exposing his wiry, but cut frame. He was still barefoot, like me. It wasn't as if we needed our boots in here. I tightened the laces a little, pulling up the shirt over my shoulder, then walked over to grab a rag and head to the gash in the wall.

He watched me the whole way. 

"Turn around," I said, pointing.

His eyebrow ticked up as he smirked, "No."

"Excuse me?" This little menace.

"I said no."

"I need to take a piss. Turn around," I demanded.

He leaned in. "No," he drawled.

My cheeks heated. Was this guy serious? The fear of him killing me to drink my blood took a swift left turn. What if this wasn't him teasing? What if he was a creep? From what I knew of vampire lore from my planet, they were dangerous for more than simply hunting people. He had said if he could, he wouldn't let another person touch him for eternity. He, also, said a well fed spawn could dominate people. Was my fear of him killing me short sighted? Death wasn't the worst thing that could happen to someone. 

He made a face, "Fine, I'll turn around. Stop getting so worked up."

I hadn't said a thing, just stood there watching him for a few moments. The stretch below my ribs had started to pull tight, but I wasn't in full panic yet. Could he hear my heart beat? He could smell my bleeding. 

I looked down at the rag in my hand. I didn't have to piss anymore. I was too 'worked up' now, but I still needed to check for blood stains.

He turned away, crossing his arms.

I pulled my pants down, keeping my sights on him for as long as I could. I peeked down. 

"Shit."

"You're heavy today," he called, facing away from across the room.

"I really hate you can do that."

He giggled. I shook my head. Stupid vampire elf. 

I definitely needed to wash my underwear. Also, I would have to pull off my pants to put water to them and try to get the blood out of my leathers. 

"You know, we're going to have to see one another one of these days. You have until tomorrow before needing water. I will bet you will not even make it the rest of the day."

I huffed through my nose. He wasn't wrong about the probability of seeing one another naked, but I wasn't ready. I didn't want any of this. If he believed that my consumption of the laced food was his permission to take what he wanted, I was in a lot of danger. I wasn't about to encourage that behavior before I had to address it. 

"You can wait until I tell you to turn around. I need to pee and I need to clean up. If you can smell it, you know it's bad. I can't sit around in this and I need to clean the inside of this leather before it bleeds through."

He turned his head, but not enough to see me, "Fine. I was only teasing. Take as long as you need."

And I did. After I cleaned my underwear and pants, which was abysmal, I finally peed over the lip of the cave, hoping I wasn't peeing on top of the body. I didn't even try to look. A passing thought of what it would be like to defecate in front of him threw heat into my neck and face. 

"What could that be for?" He asked facing away from across the room.

"How do you do that?" I called back.

"I can hear your heartbeat and smell when your scent changes. You smelled like embarrassment. It's a little like fear, but not as heady."

I opened my mouth, "When we get to that bridge, I will bring it back up."

"Can I look now?" he asked.

"Sure."

He spun around, returning to face me. I made my way over, finishing the final ties on the sides of my pants. 

"Think we can try to get this thing tested today or are your nails still too short?" I asked as I stood next to him. 

He examined his nails, they were normal. "It won't be today unless we can procure a sharp rock or shiv a spoon."

"Glad you know what a shiv is."

His brow rose, "Why wouldn't I? I lived as a slave for two hundred years. I was a prisoner. I wasn't allowed to bite anyone, I had to be able to defend myself. Only trusted spawn were granted use of weapons."

I ground my jaw. What could I even say to that? "Well, if you show me how, we can shiv the spoons."

He watched me a few seconds, then grinned, "It would be my pleasure to show you how to properly shiv a spoon."

I licked my teeth, holding my laughter. Maybe, being trapped together wasn't going to be as bad as I feared. "So, what do we do now?" 

We just watched each other in silence. His red eyes soft and concerned as he realized at the same time I did that we were going to need real entertainment, especially if we were going to try to avoid food and water over the next day.

"I'm not sure," he finally responded. 

"You spent two hundred years trapped and you can't come up with something for us to do in a cave?" I teased.

His face turned to irritation. I smirked. He rolled his eyes, then smirked too. He was a better sport than I originally gave him credit for. 

His face turned smarmy, "I can think of one thing we could do to pass the time."

My humor died. "To be honest, I don't really think that's all that funny. I don't want to be drugged into having sex with someone I don't know. Someone who actively tried to kill me only a day ago, who I don't really trust, who doesn't know anything about me, and has no reason to care about me."

"Ditto," he mocked.

We just stared seriously at one another for a beat.

He made a face. "You can't do casual sex?" He spat.

"Odd offer coming from the one who was pretty insistent about not wanting anyone to touch them ever again for all eternity."

His face went blank. "I'm not the one the hag wants pregnant. If I'm lucky I do what I have to, then I'm freed." 

"To leave me stuck behind. How on brand," I shook my head. "Unbelievable."

He huffed, twisting his jaw. "I'm as trapped as you are. When you eventually have to eat or drink, you will be overcome and I will have to... help you. Better get comfortable now when we're not drugged, I think."

"I don't see it that way. There's got to be loopholes, like sipping. There's no way I'm 'overcome with lust' like you say if I sip it or spoon it over hours at a time. It will be uncomfortable and I imagine I'll still be horny and really hungry, but at least it can be managed."

He snorted, "You have never been under the influence of succubi spit. It's magical. They charm with a single kiss. You can't just sip it. As soon as it hits your lips, you will be under the spell."

"Well, shit when you put it that way..." I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I'll just fill up on the dream shrooms. One at a time, right?"

He just watched me seriously. "It's no joking matter."

I leaned toward him, my eyes passing between both of his. "I'm scared, too."

He softened and sighed a little. "Then it looks like your options are magic mushrooms for now. This will be a good time to practice your strength of mind and will, darling."

I felt my hand in his cool palm as my mind pulled and tunneled as it had yesterday. 

"You need to think of something emotive," he had said before passing me a small pink mushroom. "I will warn you, if you are prone to falling into thought spirals, you will lose control. When it happens, I will do my best to break it."

"Like I broke yours?"

He nodded.

"What is your favorite memory?"

I stared at him blankly. "How am I supposed to come up with that on the spot?"

"Most people have one." He eyed me oddly.

"Do you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. We'll start with thinking of a single good memory. Think of it and focus on it."

With that, we had laid down and gotten started.

I felt my inner world wrap around me, late evening spreading across my mind's sky. Older homes lining the lamp post lit street along a two way road. Overhead outdoor lighting drew my shadow along the sidewalk. Cars were parked bumper to bumper along street's edge. Music filtered out of the small brick building behind me. A neon sign lit the side of Astarion's face in bright colored light. 

"Where are we?" Confusion and wonder poured out of his whole being. "What are those?" He pointed to the cars.

My smile spread wide, "Horseless carriages."

His eyes grew wider.

"They are called 'cars' but really it's an automobile. Automatic mobile vehicle."

He pointed past the street to the lit up homes. "And those are homes, dwellings?"

I nodded. "Those are considered old, in my country. Many built almost a hundred years ago." He gave me a surprised face. "Yeah, my planet has been here a while, but my country has only been around for just over two hundred." I peeked behind me, "And despite what this little tavern looks like behind us, this is a wealthier side of town."

He just raised a brow, examining the small brick building lit up with beer signs and one that said 'Cavalier' under arched lights.

"How..."

I followed his eyes. "Are you asking about the lights?"

He nodded.

"It's called electricity. We figured out how to harness water, heat, and lightning to power..." I shrugged, "Well, everything."

His mouth went slack. "How..."

"No idea. That's way over my head. Consider it our 'magic'. We have advanced technology because we don't have to rely on real magic." I walked over to the door, pulling it partway open. "Ready?"

He nodded again, still in amazement. 

We walked into the quaint restaurant. It wasn't so much different than a tavern on Toril, not that I would have known at the time.

There was a wooden bar on one end with a barkeep serving drinks in front of a large mirror. In the main space, there was a spread of wooden booths for seating. The kitchen spread out behind them and in front was a game table for billiards. The one signature difference between his world and mine was something Astarion was staring at in disbelief. 

"I don't know how television's work either. It's essentially moving pictures. Cameras record images in succession, then speed them up together to create videos." He just stood watching one with his arms crossed, his brow creased. "And I'm not sure how my mind remembers it so vividly, but that's an athletic event here on Earth, specifically my country, America, called football. It's two school teams, rivals." (Michigan State versus University of Michigan! Not that any of that matters or is relevant to anyone here...)

He clenched his jaw, face stern, "Our minds are capable of remembering or forgetting in ways we don't understand."

"I know. I don't know how many of these 'good' memories will be entirely accurate considering my mind doesn't quite know how to get out of 'survival mode'."

He just watched me, waiting for more.

"Survival mode is where the brain shuts out certain 'unnecessary' bodily and mental functions to focus on ones that will keep you alive. One of those is memory recording and storage. It needs to focus on keeping you from having a mental breakdown and surviving your environment. Your brain chemicals are pouring in during stress which causes your brain to fail to record memories properly, but then it tries to fill them in on the back end. It usually just makes shit up for you, sometimes even rewriting or erasing old memories to make space for the imaginary. Sadly, it's not very good at it or just good enough to trick itself into believing they're real until they're challenged by someone's better depiction of reality. But, it makes you question everything you remember and makes you really easy to manipulate."

His jaw ticked again as he looked around the room. Then, "Does this seem real?"

I looked around at the dingy, but warm scene. "I... It's real. This memory isn't like the best ever, but it was a light in the dark. A moment of peace that I actually noticed for once." I turned and walked us to the back corner booth where a younger me was carving into the wood siding, surrounded by four friends and a pile of potato wedges. "We were drinking ciders waiting on our burgers."

"Are you carving your name on the wall?" His tone was judgy, but his mouth ticked up into a proud smirk.

"Oh, yeah. As you can see I wasn't the first and definitely not the last. That wood was... so old. Hopefully, my mark is still there for someone else to brush their fingers over." I smiled softly, then turned to Astarion. "Want to try a potato wedge? The best I've ever had." I walked over and picked one and stuffed it in my mouth. I half expected it to taste like nothing, but it was just as warm and seasoned as the day I bought it. 

He sauntered over, picked one up gingerly, then tossed it back in two bites. "Oh, dear," he hummed through a full mouth. He swallowed, eyes wide, smiling, "That was delightful."

"Try it with this." I reached across the table and grabbed one of the sauce cups. "We call this ranch. It's a creamy herbal garlic sauce. The Cav's was the best."

He dipped another wedge in the sauce, tossing the whole wedge back in one bite. His eyes flew open as he chewed and swallowed. "This had better be as good as your memory serves. If this is your mind misremembering, I don't want to know what it's truly like."

I smiled softly, "If we can figure out how to get me back, maybe you can come with me and I'll take you some time."

He watched me the same way he had that first night with Durge. A vulnerability peeking through the mask.

I shrugged, "Their burgers are meh, though."

He cocked his head.

"Do you guys have burgers?" As if on cue from my memory, the waiter came around us and set the plates in front of each of my friends and me. I turned to Astarion, "It's a sandwich with a ground beef patty. I prefer mine with a cheese slice, tomato slices, pieces of lettuce, pickled cucumbers, and some different sauces."

He grinned as he watched my friends and I stuff our faces, tucking his hands into his pant pockets. "How old are you here?"

"I'm probably twenty-two."

He hummed, smirking a little. "Quite a young beauty." 

My brows knit, teasing, "How old are you again?"

He threw his head back, smiling wistfully at me, a hand lifting to his chest, "Eternally thirty and nine, darling."

I grinned back. "I'm thirty and five."

He looked me up, then over at my memory, and back again. "Not too far off. A few more lines."

"Ha!" I gave him an amused look, "Cute, but untrue." I looked back at myself. A moment of silence settling between us as we watched past me eat and chat. "I didn't even realize how hurt I was or how much I had been hurt, or how much I would be."

The room spun around us automatically. We were now standing on the front walkway of an older house, lined in blooming irises, still late evening. I sighed, staring at the front door that was always unlocked, a warm light leaking out of the large windows next to it. "The Lansing House," I said quietly.

I turned to see Astarion watching me. "Remember, if you drop too fast, you will lose control. Negative memories are the hardest to stop."

I nodded, "This is a mixed bag. Some of my best memories and worst all happened in this house." I glanced around the small street of homes. "This town was where I went to university. I spent my school years and several after here."

He just stood listening.

I turned back to the house. "This house is where I met some of my best friends. It's where I found myself as a person. It's where..." I paused. So many emotions called out for attention inside of me, but I needed to maintain control like he said. "I don't know if I can go inside. Even if I wanted to."

He nodded, "Then don't. Next one."

I stared at him a moment, "Where do I even go?"

He grinned softly, "What is your favorite place on Earth?"

The world spun around us, immediately, without any conscious decision to change it. The place just came to mind and we were there, on top of the mountain I loved most: the Knob. 

But, this time I wasn't standing. I was sitting, Sylas in my lap. I had been observing as a third person, but now I was facing the large moon rising in the east, a small warm body in my arms. 

The night of the Nautiloid. 

My heart dropped, my breathing a little shallower. My head flipped to the west, where the ship had come in from. Astarion stood behind me watching, warily. Then, as if manifested, the ship appeared streaming through the sky like a comet.

"Abigail..." he warned.

My stomach dropped. The world flipped again.

We were in the kitchen of an old apartment. I was standing in a puddle of juice and broken glass. Brian stood before me. I didn't even have time to feel grief. Just an invisible belt around my ribcage cinching tight as I remembered.

He was screaming profanities at my face. His face was bright red, reminding me what a careless and stupid bitch I was. I felt the tears fall without blinking. Shock and fear pulling down like rocks in my lungs.

Not again.

The world spins. A different night, same apartment. It's more furnished. Brian is, now, throwing a mixing bowl onto our tile floor. The 'shatterproof' bowl breaks on impact as he screams at me for being a cunt. My chest throbs, my heartbeat skipping as a knot builds under my ribs.

Another spin. I'm getting dizzy. Our new house, the house I miss so dearly. The house I may never see again. I didn't even get time to reminisce. Brian and I are in our bedroom. Brian's dead pan face stares down at me as he tells me he wishes he wouldn't have to deal with me ever again.

A flash and I'm in my kitchen, a large knife is in my hand as I stare down at my pale wrist.

Another twist of my surroundings. Now, I'm standing in front of a large mirror in a small bathroom: the house I grew up in. The face that looks back at me is so young, too young to feel this level of desperation and emptiness. I see the pill bottle in the sink, then turn to see a toilet full of vomit because I couldn't even do that right.

The face in the mirror changes as the bathroom becomes a dark living room. I look up into a face I never wanted to see again, a name I never utter, a friend, a lover, someone I trusted with my whole heart. He hangs above me, breathing into my face.

I asked him to stop, stop, stop.

I wasn't expecting to get sick when I came over to try to make amends for our friend group. We were the ones who held it together. This was house I loved so much. The Lansing House. The house with the wooden back porch and cascading garden. The house where I did my homework and painted. The house where I made dinners and hand late night drinks. The house I snuggled up in when I needed to work down the street the next day.

I didn't want to disappoint him. I wanted to be friends again. I missed him. I missed him so much. But, not this much.

This was the living room I sat in with my feet up against the fireplace after sledding with my friends, socks soaked. The living room we all hung out in to sing along to Radical Face with acoustic guitars. The living room floor for board games and dance parties. The living room with the comfiest seats to read in. 

I had just wanted to talk. We sat in his finished basement as we talked and laughed again, but my stomach couldn't hold the wine. I threw up my dinner and drink. He walked me to the living room couch. He gave me water. He covered me in a blanket. He sat next to me and we talked some more.

We were going to be best friends again. We were going to sit on this couch and laugh far into night surrounded by all the ones we loved. We were going to sing and dance right here as we had many times before.

There were going to be no more fights.

He kissed me. I didn't ask him to do that.

He kept kissing, even when I tried to push him off.

I was so tired. I was so weak. I asked nicely.

His hand pulled down my clothes. His legs held mine from escaping. His arms pinned me to the couch. His body crushing me into the crux of it so I couldn't wiggle out from beneath. 

My head was spinning. The world no longer changed. I was stuck here. Stuck here to relive his advances over and over for eternity. 

I would feel his body inside of mine forever. Never escaping. Always stuck on this couch, drunk, sick, and

"Abigail."

I turned from the hot breath. A new face. A face I knew. A pale chest behind an embroidered jacket. A crown of curled silver hair. Red eyes that looked like wine. Delicately pointed ears that seemed to stick out. A look of sadness and anger. The face of the one who had both saved my life and tried to take it. The one who bore the scars of a slave. The one who said he would catch me if I fell. He was here to break the curse of my ugliest memories.

"New memory," the face demanded.

I looked back into the hot face of the one I hated the most. 

The world spun again, finally. Astarion looked around at the woods, confused. I watched him look down in horror and surprise at the large round hole in the ground, the mangled body of the one I hated at the bottom among the roots, soil, and leaves.

"What is this?" he asked.

A soft, but wicked smile filled my face. "It was a dream I will never forget. It was the night I realized I had the strength to overcome him. The night I realized I truly hated him." I looked over at Astarion. "The night I realized I could kill someone and feel no remorse."

"Did you kill him?"

I looked back down at the mangled body, all awkward long limbs and dark hair. "Unfortunately, no. America's not Faerun. I can't kill someone and stuff a body into a giant hole, left to be eaten by random monsters, no one the wiser." I turned to Astarion, "Most people are actually looked for and missed, where I'm from."

He watched me a moment, "Lucky you."

I glanced back down the hole, "Or unlucky, depending on how you look at it."

His eyes met mine again, "Lucky for him, then."

The world morphed once more. This time into the living room at the my house back on Earth. Late morning light filtered through the windows. 

Astarion glanced around, "Where are we now?"

"This is my house, come on in."

"Thanks," He sassed, then took a slow full turn, taking it in. "It's... comforting. I can see you very at home here."

"What happens if you get into a house you weren't invited into?" I asked.

His brow knit, "I don't."

I tipped my head, "What if this wasn't in my head and I portalled us here?"

His mouth opened and shut as he considered, "I don't actually know the answer to that. But, it sounds like it would result in something painful..." A corner of his mouth ticked up, "Oh, to see Cazador portalled somewhere he was uninvited."

I watched him picture it, wishing I could too. Cazador seemed like a little bitch. Small taps sounded around the corner and a small brown dog tottered up to us, interrupting.

"Your mutt I take it?" Astarion said, pointing down at the animal.

"She's a purebred. Show her some respect."

He huffed, but smirked, "She is quite cute. The large ears and stubby tail are surprisingly aesthetic. I'm not usually one to pet dogs, but she might be the exception."

"She's always the exception," I teased as I watched him lean down and scratch between my dog's ears, her small tailless body wiggling with joy.

I sat down on the large green couch that faced the brick fireplace, my dog hopping up next to me. She was just a conjured memory, but I pulled her into a cuddle either way. I missed her so dearly. I looked up at Astarion who was now taking a seat on the opposite end. 

"This is quite comfortable as well. You have good taste," he said, casually drawing his fingers on the couch arm.

Another green couch, squished against the back pillows, couldn't escape...

All of a sudden, he leaned toward me. "Don't," he commanded harshly, eyes watching me carefully. 

I pulled back, "What?"

"You started to think of something. I could feel it."

I watched him as he watched me. "How can I go from thinking of the absolute worst things that happened to me to this?" I waved to the room around us with my hand, "And how do some of my memories show up as something to watch, but others I experience all over again?" I watched the memory echo of my dog hop off the couch, disappearing.

He crossed an ankle over his knee, placing his spare hand on his lifted one as he stared down at the coffee table, "The ones that you can see and interact with are ones you aren't afraid of. The others are like nightmares. You can't direct where they go because they are controlled by fear and instinct." He looked to me, "Though, I've never experienced one's dreams as memories. That was... different." He sighed as he looked around the room, "I may have underestimated you." He glanced to me, "The fact that my own memories and thoughts haven't overpowered yours..." He signaled to the room, "That we are sitting in your living room at all instead of some kind of neutral place or even the palace..." He pursed his lips, then looked to me again, something lighting behind his eyes. "I have a confession."

My brows pinched as I watched him.

He sucked in a deep breath, "I have..." He tipped his head, looking up at the ceiling, smiling bashfully to himself. "Goodness, how do I even admit this." He swiveled a little in his seat to face me. He cleared his throat. "Since we are likely to be stuck together for the foreseeable future, whether days or months, I will let you in on a little secret."

I smirked, "This should be good."

He mocked an irritated look, "Keep that up and I will rescind this confession."

I held up my hands, smirking, "Sorry, please, continue. I promise to listen."

He coughed a little again, "I practice lines before I use them on..." He paused, the humor dropping from his face. "I used them on victims." He sighed, "Actually, that's not as funny as I thought it would be."

I folded my hands tightly. "The ones for Cazador."

He nodded. The room morphed a little. I focused harder. It fixed. "Gosh you are hard to keep out. I felt that."

He laughed, pitifully. "Sorry, I was attempting to be as factual as possible. If we pop into the palace, I'm sorry."

I shook my head, "You saw some of the worst nights of my life. You get a pass."

"Thank you."

I grinned. "Why don't you try again?"

He smiled softly, looking down at his own hands, then back to me, his features growing in confidence. "I practice the lines I use before I use them. We all did. The other spawn and I. We tested them out on each other, gave one another tips. One of my favorites was a hollow one, and I will admit to having already used it on Durge."

I perked a brow.

"It didn't work. If that's what you're wondering."

I smirked a little.

"Very rarely do I ever find reason to use said lines in earnest, but I will make an exception now. I truly do mean this when I say I'm not easily impressed by people, but you're stronger than I gave you credit for."

We both just sat and stared at each other for a minute letting his confession and compliments marinate.

I smiled. “Ditto."

[Astarion Note: I do very much wish you had let me hunt him down, darling. He would have made such a beautiful corpse in a hole, here in Faerun. His blood probably wouldn't have tasted very good, but it would be deserved after what he took from you.]

Jenevelle POV:

Gale and Lae’zel were bickering again. Gale wanted to avoid Moonhaven, Lae’zel wanted to use it. She was thoroughly confident in her abilities to take out a village full of goblins. Since the rest of us were not, we went around trying to retrace our steps. Lae’zel wanted to cross the bridge, but Gale insisted we retrace our steps exactly, forgoing the bridge as we headed back toward the Owlbear cave and where we had found the dog whom had yet to show up despite my encouragements.

Though, as night fell and my conjured fire the only torch between us, Scratch, the dog, did show up. With an arm of a gnoll in his maw.

He dropped it at our feet and barked, trotting off, expecting us to follow. Despite Lae'zel's objections, we followed him. He led us through the darkness to a light on a hill: a toll house. Bodies of gnolls and people lined the pathway and bridge that led up to it. It didn't look promising.

Inside, we found four paladins in a state of disarray. They were beaten badly and one seemed to be near death with a huge gash to his abdomen. 

"Who... Who goes there?" One asked as we entered.

Durge stepped forward, hands in surrender. "We're just looking for a place to rest. We're trying to get back to the grove nearby."

The man nodded, "Then feel free to rest your heads. There are some supplies in the basement below. I will warn you we found one of the toll men below. He's..." The man's face went distant.

Durge nodded, "I understand."

I stepped from around him toward the injured resting on a bedroll. "Is there any way we can help? I'm a cleric, I could take a look at your friend."

A small light rose behind his eyes, "Oh, that would be most kind. I'm Anders, by the way. Please, we were attacked by a fiend. A one-horned tiefling named Karlach. She's... She's going to tear apart the Sword Coast." 

"Karlach?" Wyll interjected.

The man nodded. 

It was as if Wyll had been woken from a haze, "Where is she? Where has she gone?"

Anders tipped his head curiously. "She ran down toward the water the last we saw before the sun fell behind the cliffs. She's unlikely to have gotten far, since she was injured."

Wyll whipped to us, "She was the one I was pursuing before the Nautiloid, the fiend I was sent to kill. I need to find her, now."

Gale sighed, "Can't we continue this in the morning? It's doubtful she will get far, and there's no telling if she's even still alive. She may have succumbed to her injuries."

"Unlikely," Anders added. "She's Zariel's sword hand. Fiends like that don't go down easy."

Wyll held out his arm, making his point. "We need to act now. If you wish to stay, be my guest, but I need to finish what I started." He marched to the doorway.

I called to him. "Hold on, Wyll. We don't know what we are up against. Let me see to their injured, then we can go find this Karlach."

He huffed and crossed his arms, visibly impatient, but nodded anyway.

After a few minutes of examining the man and assessing the supplies the paladins had on hand for healing, I came to the grim conclusion that he was not long for this world. All I could do was make him comfortable. I let his companions know and they moved him into a separate room to convalesce for his final hours. 

I wiped my bloody hands on a rag as I made my way to the front doors where everyone else was waiting. They all asked the question with their eyes, I shook my head in return, and we stepped out with a few new torches and weapons in hand.

It was very easy to find Karlach. She was a living campfire posted to the side of the stream, attempting to cool herself off. 

"That's Karlach?" Gale asked.

Wyll was in a different state as he watched her. A righteous bloodlust burned in him as he marched across the fallen log to meet his intended foe. 

The heat pouring off of her was like standing before a raging furnace. Wyll was already sweating in the cool night. The drips on his face illuminated by his torch and Karlach's glow. "Karlach, Advocatis diaboli."

She let out a raspy chuckle, "The Blade of Frontiers. I thought I'd shaken you for good." She hissed and the flames around her burst and crackled.

As if excited by all the activity, our tadpoles connected once again. A throb pounded behind my eyes as a vision took form. It was Karlach as she fought through the front lines of the Blood War. It was as horrific and bloody as all the stories depicted. The vision disappeared as quickly as it came.

"What was that?!" she exclaimed, getting her balance. I watched her stand on long red legs, leaning on the hilt of a large axe. She was a sight to behold. Black and red hair wild with beading. Tattoos and heat holes littered along her mottled red skin. Her bright orange glowing eyes begged us to help her.

"Proof that you're just another gladiator in Zariel's army!" Wyll exclaimed. 

Fear raged behind her fire orange eyes as she took in Wyll's fighting stance. "If you could just hear me out..."

Another pang of pain stabbed through my head as an image of Karlach escaping and slicing through Zariel's servants filled it. The echoes of pain cleared as the images did. I was so tired of the weird mind connections. Though short-lived, they were nearly as painful as my hand wound.

"She's just another victim of the Blood War," Gale said from behind Wyll, as he watched Karlach with empathy. Her flames were starting to die down a little.

Wyll snapped around to him, "Don't believe her lies."

Karlach took a step toward us, hands high, begging. "You saw the truth. I was enlisted against my will. Forced to fight, and I did. When I saw my opportunity to run, I took it. And I'm finally home."

The desperation and fear made me want to throw Wyll into the stream and pull Karlach into a hug. To be forced to fight in the Blood Wars was a nightmare, yet she stood here having gotten out. I watched her hiss as she gripped her left side, probably the injury. Her heart glowed with inner fire as the heat picked up again.

"You served. That's enough to damn you," Wyll hissed.

I watched a large white hand reach past me as Durge placed it on Wyll's shoulder. "Be practical, Wyll. She's infected, same as us. We could use her as an ally."

"She is a warrior who would wink at her foes as she slays them. You would be best not to refuse her," Lae'zel added from the back.

Gale leaned in, "She might be a little rough around the edges, but I can be smooth enough for two."

I reached out and pushed Gale off of the log, a splash following his, "Hey!" when he hit the water. 

Wyll flashed around at us, "You're asking me to trust a devil."

"Gods, you're so stubborn," I started.

"And young," added Gale from his spot in the stream.

"Karlach is no devil and you know this," Lae'zel argued.

Karlach cleared her throat and Wyll turned to face her again. "You know monsters," Her glowing eyes flashed between his. "Look into my eyes. I'm not what you think."

"Shit," Wyll spat, rubbing his palms over his face. "I've... I've been deceived."

All of us gave audible sighs. 

"Thank the gods, I thought I was going to have to take your head," Karlach laughed.

Wyll sighed through his nose, but grinned softly back at Karlach, "You would have died in the attempt."

Our new fiery companion laughed in earnest.

Wyll shook his head. "Don't laugh too soon. A reckoning is coming and I'll be the one to pay up."

"Warlocks," Gale whispered a little too loudly. Wyll shot him a look to the back of his head as Gale pulled himself out of the stream, trying to wring out his robes.

We led Karlach across, but stopped short, realizing the group back at the toll house was waiting to kill her.

"Uhm," Karlach said, breaking the silence, "So, now that we're all pals, how about helping me smite some evil bastards?"

Durge chuckled. 

Wyll shook his head, "Let me guess, the paladins up at the toll house? Karlach, you just swore to us you were not a danger."

She sighed, "But, they're not really paladins of Tyr. They're goons sent by Zariel to take me back."

Wyll ground his jaw, "I'm choosing to trust you despite what I'm going to have to pay for it. Don't make me regret it."

Karlach watched him for a moment. "I won't," she said quietly. Then she smiled viciously, "Let's go kill some slimy bastards."

I stepped in front of her, hands out. She stopped short and looked me up, "Yes?"

"I need to heal you, then we can take on the bastards, as you say," I smiled teasingly. She smiled back, a gorgeous feature. She held her hands over her head and I cast a minor healing spell. The blue of my magic glittered against her glowing red skin. 

"Gods, that felt amazing. Stick by me, please." She winked, I fawned. I knew in that moment, I'd follow her into any battle.

We marched back into the toll house's entry where Anders and another paladin were waiting. 

"Karlach?" He looked shocked, but not afraid. It was odd considering how terrified he had seemed earlier. 

"Hello, motherfucker. Ready to die?" she sang. 

I automatically rubbed my legs together as a tight feeling shot between them. I noticed Lae'zel smiling broadly in my peripheral. I heard Durge hum deeply. Looks like we weren't so much a group apart. 

A nasty grin grew up Anders face. The jig was up. "Even if I have to ship you back in pieces, Zariel will always get what she wants. Her mutt back on its leash."

I was standing several feet back and felt the room heat as if someone had opened an oven door part way through a bake. 

"Well, that is just too bad because I'm free now." She pulled up her axe, gripping it tightly, ready to strike. "And I'm never going back."

Needless to say, we laid the other 'paladins' to rest alongside their companion. 

[Gale note: Though this is an articulate rendition of events, I would surmise that my excerpt would have been a far better choice. No matter, Shadowheart Jenevelle had a distinctly unique experience as she pushed me into the water. Good thing standing next to Karlach, at the time, made for swift drying. I sent you a detailed copy of the completed journey and would appreciate an insert. I hope you are simply holding out for some of my own particular perspectives to be used for certain singular circumstances. If you want a list of suggestions, just let me know.]

To Gale: This story was four chapters long in your third book. Find me some briefer examples and I will consider your request. - Abbi

[Wyll note: I would have loved to write meeting Karlach. We are just so busy here in Avernus. Thank you for writing down all of our adventures.]

IRL Author's Note: This was supposed to be a funny chapter. Instead, it was healing. The next will be as well. Sometimes we can't always control where our stories go, and that is what makes them so important. Please note that these are in fact my own memories (with some narrative adjustments). I'm still here and you should be too. What happened doesn't define who you are, but it does shape you. You aren't broken, you are in transition. You are being remade. You are loved. You are seen. You are so enough. For all those who need it, there is no shame in finding help. Speaking it makes it real. Sexual Abuse Hotline (US): 800.656.4673 National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US): 800.799.7233 Suicide Hotline (US): 988 (text or call) Also, the Cavalier is real and is in Lynchburg, VA. It has the very best potato wedges and ranch. No, you can't change my mind.

[autistichalsin]

Im super shy so I'm asking anonymously but I know you're The (tm) Halsin fan, so I have a genuine question about the depiction of Halsin as polyamorous vs wanting open relationships:

I always thought poly relationships were relationships were all the partners love each other/are into each other/active in the relationship and so on, but with the exception of Shadowheart, who has a few comments about Halsin, neither Astarion nor Karlach seem interested? Especially Karlach - she specifically says she wants to hear nothing of it. This was something that always kind of irked me because I was expecting more reciprocation from the other partners too, or am I understanding wrong? I'm curious to hear your thoughts, especially seeing as I'm aroace myself and not interested in being in a relationship, but I DO want to write them, including polyamory. So I guess I'm asking for education akdjfjskwjd. Am I nitpicking or taking stuff too literally? I'm autistic so that's something I catch myself with wkejfhsshhwjs Either way, love your blog!

Aww, that is sweet to say, anon!

Don't worry about asking for clarification- we all have to learn.

The answer is that no, that isn't the only form of poly. Having shared hookups is a form of poly. Open relationships are poly. Throuples/polycules are poly. Swinging is poly. Open triangles are poly.

For the record, though, Karlach and Astarion ARE very interested in Halsin. Astarion specifically needs more time to heal first, but has multiple lines saying he trusts Halsin not to harm him (the reason he refuses a poly relationship with Shadowheart is that she has no experience; when accepting Halsin, he specifically says Halsin has experience with the relationship). It's definitely a case of not being ready to join in himself, but being okay with his partner seeing Halsin- which is valid. Karlach is a little more complicated, because there is much more of a case for her being uncomfortable than for Astarion or Shadowheart- BUT I always interpreted it more as her saying she wasn't sure of her feelings on poly yet because her engine took up more of her time. She says that if there was to be someone more, Halsin would be it- but that's not where her head is at "right now." It sounds to me like in an ideal world where she had time, she might very well decide she wanted it. Ironically, out of all the three, Karlach has the BEST case for "not into it" and yet also the fewest people coming to her defense a la Astarion.

So, you'd be right in saying this wasn't a throuple, because all of them are only open triangles (and you're right in being sad because I'd love to see Shadowheart or Astarion or Karlach sharing kisses with Halsin). But you'd be wrong to say it wasn't polyamory, because it very much is a form of poly. Basically, it's a rectangle/square situation: all throuples/polycules are poly, but not all poly is throuples/polycules.

[neetily]

something that has always irked me about OCD acceptance posts is that yeah, it's true that intrusive thoughts are more than just "i wanna dye my hair pink" or "what if i threw this egg at a wall" and they usually surround taboo topics and disgusting things but like......

nobody every mentions what sort of awful thoughts they have yknow? and it's not that i wanna pressure anyone into revealing information they're uncomfortable with, it just triggers my OCD even more to imagine that when people say that their thoughts are "gross", and then not mention what they are, then maybe MY thoughts are the worst actually and i'm evil LMFAO.

anyway. my intrusive thoughts are below because it feels hypocritical of me to complain about this without exposing myself LOL... TW for awful content B-). and if you suffer from intrusive thought OCD too, you're not alone <3 kisses you <3

consistent graphic images of gore, mutilated and burned bodies that i have accidentally witnessed as a consequence of being online. they'll just flash in my mind mid conversation, but most often when i'm trying to sleep.

i often worry about family members being pedophiles, and how i would react, and i MUST sit through this exhausting scenario of: would i tell the police? would i still love them? would they survive prison? how would i deal with them getting killed in prison for being a pedo? what do i say to the victims? etc etc.

sometimes i think that i must be a pedophile, simply because i was abused by many. and in my intrusive thoughts, it's almost as if because i was abused by pedos, i must be painted by the same brush. even though i understand that to be insane logic.

sometimes i ruminate on the sole fact that bestiality exists, and that people enjoy hurting animals for sexual reasons. and i will literally just think about this over and over, for hours on end, unable to stop feeling so bad for the poor animals.

i think about hurtcore content and want to kill myself just because it exists, similar to the bestiality point above.

i will sit and fantasize against my will about my brother, my partner, my step dad, or any other male in my life, and how they could so easily decide to just kill me. like i'll be talking to one of them, and suddenly remember that all it'd take is one moment for them to choke me out, and it's DIFFICULT trying to stay on track of the conversation when i'm playing out the scene of me dying by their hands right in front of them.

whenever i'm shaving, i always have this intense urge to kill myself right there and then in the shower B-) even though i'm otherwise fine and happy.

and many, many more. but like this is what i mean, nobody ever talks about the specifics of their intrusive thoughts and it leaves me feeling genuinely EVIL and disgusting for mine lmfao....

[inherentsun]

also on ao3 and wattpad as inherentsun ♡

Osamu Dazai was never the type to love someone. So it's no surprise that once it occurred, it was nothing short of an ugly rusted cage, looking for it's bird.

What better victim for his rough, blunt fingers, than a reserved bookworm with a part-time job that they just happened to take up at the wrong time?

- dazai never left the pm after oda's death

"This is it I 'spose.."

You held your phone, looking up at the small building of the address between you and your employer's texts. The cold air made the anxious breaths you let out visible, your fingertips red.

You never really were one for alcohol, the smell and effects of it only irked you. However, to your dismay, the only short-notice part-time job you could get was a bartender. Hell, it was so short-noticed that you hadn't even gotten interviewed. You had just turned eighteen, and the cash you got from your mother overseas wasn't enough to fund you completely.

So there you were, standing in front of a bar in the run-down part of Yokohama with little to no experience, a freshly employed bartender. Yokohama wasn't particularly safe, and you weren't the strongest either, being a non-combative ability user. But it's not like beggars can't be choosers, can they? 

You perched yourself onto a stool chair, texting your boss that you were there, ready to be introduced to your station. Instead, even 30 minutes later you got no text back. Suddenly, a man who looked to be in his twenties towered over you, looking you up and down, as if he were sizing you up. Not in an interested way, more judgmental than that. He handed you a rag, keys, and a bartender's uniform. Confused, you tilted your head, "I'm sorry, are you my boss..?"

He only deadpanned you up until that point, when he finally spoke to you, a tone of annoyance lacing his voice. "No, I'm your co-worker, and I'm clocking out. This is the stuff the boss said you needed." He put his hand out, trying to give you some courtesy by introducing himself, but his degrading stare told you he'd rather be at home than even speaking to you.

"S-sorry, what about training, or showing me around the building? How do I know what to do exactly?" God, the look on this guy's face as you ask more questions that sounded reasonable in your head just makes you wish you could crumple up into a ball on the spot. "What am I, your nanny? Figure it out by yourself, I'm sure you're not completely incompetent." He spat. And with that, he turned away and left through the door. 

You furrowed your eyebrows and scowled. Whatever, you'd just 'figure it out' as he said. Once you changed into your uniform, a long-sleeved blouse, paired with a sleek black tie and typical working slacks, which was surprisingly comfortable- you restocked the bar and reopened. 9 PM, great. You assumed your messy co-worker who left you to restock worked 12 PM - 7 PM, which left you with 8 PM - 4 AM. It didn't take long for customers to come in, tired from work, outing with friends, or just people who simply wanted to drink. The job wasn't as hard as your head made it out to be, and you managed. Luckily, a lot of the customers could tell you were new and bared with your less than experienced work.

Hours passed, it was now 2 AM and most of the drunkards had gone home. While the smell of alcohol and the energy of the people who drank it disgusted you, it was tolerable. Now the only people that remained in the bar were groups of friends, or singles sipping on their drink as they thought to themselves. 

But after all these hours, no matter how much time passed, no matter how occupied you were-

You could feel one pair of eyes glued onto you, a pair that never faltered their vision off of you.

Aside from the bandages and cold look plastered onto his face, he didn't look creepy. Even so, something about him was off-putting. You decided to keep shoving the thought off, even if the only way he would ask for a refill was by tapping the side of his glass as if you were a housemaid. 

You kept looking at him, taking note of his appearance. He had medium-length hair for a guy, thick and dark too. His eyes were a deep auburn and they burned into yours, as he made eye contact once he noticed you looking him up and down. Breaking eye contact, you came to notice he was quite tall, standing at a good 5'11 off of what you could tell. He often played with the ice in his drink, still not tearing his eyes off you as he did it. If only you knew what he was thinking about you, maybe you wouldn't be so careless with how much you looked at him. 

You decided to stop paying him any mind, as it would only keep you nervous for the rest of your shift.

The rest of the night was mellow, and the people who were there didn’t give you too much trouble. In your spare time, you’d write to yourself about your job in a pocket journal you kept. 

It was finally 4 AM, your shift had felt like it would never last, and you could hardly believe you'd be doing this for 5 days a week. Everyone had left by then, including the lump of bandages that wouldn't stop looking your way. You walked out of the establishment after restocking and locked the door. You sighed and spoke to yourself, "Finally... I can rest." As you were opening your car door, you heard something, and your head snapped behind you immediately.

..Yet you saw nothing.

"Must be the paranoia of working in the sketchy part of Yokohama.. I’ll get used to it." You rationalized to yourself, unlocking your door. However you did fail to hear one thing, and that was the sound of the air tag on your car turning on.

It had been about two weeks since you had started your part-time job, and things had gotten better for you. Your cold coworker was slightly nicer to you, the job had gotten easier overall, and that unsettling man from your first day didn't show up too often- though you dreaded when he did. Other than that, your work had gotten nicer, and being employed gave you a sense of purpose. 

Today was your day off, so you decided to treat yourself. It had been a while since you had done so anyway, and you felt good about yourself for once! First, you decided to head to the bakery, to pick up a croissant for yourself. You were well acquainted with the woman who owned the shop, and you had a nice chat with her before you went on your way.

Once you had gotten your treat, you headed to the library where you sat and wrote for a while. Journaling was your personal therapy, a way to keep tabs on your emotions. Being honest with yourself about your emotions is what kept you running, because even with the uncertain path your life was on, at least you knew yourself.

It was around 7 PM when you had finally up and left, the only people in the bookstore with you being older people reading, or those working on the computers. Tired and fatigued, you closed your journal and left for home. As you finally returned home, an ache-y but familiar feeling sunk in, and your chest felt heavy.

Something felt off the entire day- no, the entire month. 

You had been trying to ignore it but you felt as if you were being watched, your clothes were disappearing when you knew you hadn't misplaced them, and you swore you could hear noises outside your room at night. Yet when you went to check, there wasn't a trace of anyone being there.

Truth be told, if you wanted to be completely transparent with yourself, you hadn't been treating yourself for this very reason. Whenever you went out, a looming feeling of weariness came over you, much stronger than the normal amount of anxiety a person gets. 

You decided to get some sleep, to ease your nerves. Just to ignore the lump in your throat that formed whenever you felt like this.

The next day was miserable, you had an anxious feeling surrounding you at all times, and it didn't help that you worked at night. Before your shift you spent your time nervously pacing around the house, you couldn’t even read or write with how sweaty your palms were and the constant chatter of thoughts running through your mind.

Once you clocked in, it didn’t get any better either. The alcohol's smell going into your nose as you poured it or as a customer asked you for a nth glass filled your nose, and you felt even more queasy than you did before. It didn’t help that tonight’s groups were especially rowdy, and it seemed as if they took a sort of sadistic pleasure in pestering you. You were able to push through though, and when you were home you felt a bit of relief.

That relief was short-lived though when you checked your phone to see an unknown number text you. Your breath was short, your palm covered your mouth, your vision getting blurry. "Oh my god..." Your hunch was spot on, your stalker had sent you a photo of you cooking. 

That wasn't all though.

There were photos of you eating, changing, showering, sleeping, writing, working. You felt sick, they knew where you worked, how to get into your house, what you did throughout the day... 

That was your last straw, you threw on some pants and bolted to the police station, hot tears running down your face. When you arrived, you could barely form a coherent sentence. "P-pl-pleah.. h..help m-me I- they kn- live... I can't-" you were cut off by the officer that was unfortunate enough to catch you in your panicked state, as you tried your best to explain the situation.

"Hey, hey, let's calm down okay? I'm here to help, so you can just give me the information you have, and I promised we'd help you." He put his hand on your waist and pulled you closer, trying his best to reassure you. “Just walk me through it step by step. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded, still distraught. But you felt better, knowing he was there reassuring you. “I- my clothes have been disappearing, and recently I felt like I was being watched.” You continued, the thought of those pictures gave you a nauseous feeling.

“Just twenty minutes ago I was sent these..” You turned your phone toward him, and a terrified look washed over his face. You could tell he was scared, too.

It felt as if he was choosing to be careful how he worded things, taking a pause before he spoke. “I’ll be on this immediately. Do you have a safe place to stay for now?” You looked down and scratched your chin. “Only my home..”

He only frowned, but then it looked like he thought of something. He took out a notepad and a pen and handed it to you before scribbling something down. “Here, this is my number. I’m genuinely concerned, but as we have no evidence right now the best I can do is offer you emotional help.” He grasped your hands to his. “If you ever need help, please text me.”

His soft expression gave you a warm feeling, it was nice to have someone there for you.

”O-okay. I can do that..” You said, holding his hand tighter, returning the gesture. He only softly smiled at you, before writing down what you had told him before, and taking physical copies of the photos that were sent to you as evidence. 

He walked you to the exit of the station and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Before you leave, do you need anything?” You shook your head, “I’m okay. Thank you for helping me, please tell me anything you find out.” 

He sent you off, and you felt slightly better. You drifted off to sleep, and for the first time in a while, it was easy.

The next day you woke up, hair disheveled, eyes droopy, and your shirt slanting off your shoulder. This was the first night you were able to actually sleep decently since you got your own place. But you had one person on your mind when you woke up, which was the sweet policeman you had spoken to. Since last night, you had already set your mind on asking the guy to share an afternoon with you, a coffee date if you will. After all, you didn't even know the guy's name, and he did make you feel sane, even if for only a bit.

You grabbed your phone and sent him a lengthy text that you kept retyping in your head, like an anxious high school girl texting her crush. It read, 

'hi, it's me, the girl from last night. i was wondering if you wanted to get a coffee or something. just to get to know you, i appreciate how you handled the situation, even with my panicked state and my slurred speech. i have work at eight today, so if you wanna meet up before then i'd love to :)'

You clicked send, and almost immediately you got a text back.

'sounds great, i'll see you at (location) at 4 PM then? and btw, what's your name? i'm tanizaki junichiro.'

You smiled giddily at the response time and texted back accordingly.

'good to hear, and my name is (y/n). ill see you at 4!!'

He hearted your message, and you smiled at the gesture. You promptly got up from your bed to brush your teeth, do your hair, and pick out your outfit for the occasion of course. However, you weren't as careless as you usually were when it came to picking out what you'd be wearing for the day. You mostly just went with what was comfortable, but today you wore a knee-length dress and paired it with some mary-janes and a loose sweater.

You headed to the coffee shop after about 2 hours of playing around with your appearance and arrived right on time. Your eyes scanned the shop for Tanizaki to see him waving at you, a smile spread across his face. "Hey, I ordered you a coffee!" You sat down in the chair in front of him and took ahold of the latte he had ordered you. "Thanks, I really appreciate that! Here, take this." You fished 6 bucks out of your pocket, but he was quick to decline, pushing your hand away. "No, I insist! It's on me." You shrugged and pocketed your money. "If you say so, but the next one's on me." He only rolled his eyes at you, not taking you seriously.

Talking to Tanizaki felt natural to you, not in a romantic way, it just felt nice to have someone there to listen to you. You hadn't had a friend in a while, and although you weren't even looking for one actively, it felt nice to have a relationship of any sort. Hours turned to minutes, and minutes to seconds over your ‘date’ with Tanizaki.

”I’m really glad I met you, Tanizaki.” Your remark made a red hue spread across his face and he twiddled with his fingers a bit. “I am too…” He broke eye contact with you but quickly realized how distraught he looked due to your compliment. “T-that I met you that is!” He said, quick to correct his flustered look. 

You only chuckled in response, and you two continued talking to each other over the next few hours.

“I had a great time with you today Tanizaki, but it’s seven so I’ll have to walk to work now.” His eyes lit up, and he grasped your hands to his. “I can drive you! You shouldn’t have to walk.” His abrupt and overly-forward movement made you move your head back a bit, and raise your eyebrows. He noticed this, and let go of your hands. 

“Ah.. sorry, but my offer still stands.” He gave you a small smile and you thought for a bit. You didn’t see why not, it’d be much better than the 30-minute walk you’d have to take. “Okay, sure!” You nodded at him, and he gave you a thumbs up. “Alright, let’s go.”

On the way to work, you chatted as he drove. Albeit.. your naïveté took the best of you as you failed to pick up the intentions behind his questions. 

“So, (y/n).. are you dating anyone right now?” You shook your head, and put your hand to your chin. “No.. and I don’t think I have since middle school actually.” The realization hits you like a truck. Wow, you really hadn’t dated anyone for a while.

”Ah is that so..” He paused before continuing.

”Interested in anyone?” You perked up at the question. No, you weren’t really. You hadn’t been talking to anyone even as friends as of late. 

“I don’t think so, I haven’t had the opportunity to talk to anyone.” You shrugged.

The rest of the drive was quiet, not because it felt awkward, but because it looked as if Tanizaki had something on his mind that he wasn’t telling you. Not wanting to interrupt his train of thought, you stayed silent. 

You two had finally pulled up to your workplace, and you unbuckled your seatbelt before making eye contact and beaming at him. “Thank you a lot for the ride, Tanizaki!” You were about to turn away till he grabbed your hand.

”(y/n)…” He looked at your lips, and suddenly cold sweat had washed over your body. You stumbled over your words and tilted your head. “Tanizaki…?” 

He abruptly pulled your face to his, slamming his lips into yours. “Mhfmm!” You turned your head to the side, as he kept trying to pry hungry for more, his fingers digging into your cheeks so hard you'd swear it'd leave a bruise. You stumbled out of the car quickly after flinging the door open, a distraught look painting your face. “(y/n).. I- I thought you- I’m so-“ 

You were quick to cut him off in your ruffled state of mind.

”I- Tanizaki I think you got the wrong idea, I’m sorry.” And before he could answer, you had already bolted inside of the building.

The only thing that was on your mind that shift was your little ‘encounter’ with Tanizaki. Just what was he thinking? Why would he do that? Did you give him the wrong idea? Was that your fault? I mean, you had barely known him for a day. 

Maybe you were too harsh, you thought. “I’ll send him a text after work, maybe I can try to reconcile over brunch..” You murmured to yourself. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

Something strange that you noticed was that the eerie bunch of bandages that had shown up four days in a row wasn’t here today, which was good for your nerves, although his existence alone gave you an unsettling feeling whenever you knew you had work that day. 

It finally hit 4 AM, and you changed out of your work uniform and clocked out. “I’ll send him a text, hopefully he responds in a timely matter..” 

‘hey tanizaki, i know i left things off on a bad foot. i’m sorry, i was just taken off  guard from your advance. i wouldn't want this to ruin our friendship so if u wanna talk it over a meal i’d really appreciate that. again, so so sorry.’ 

Hopefully, that’d suffice as a good enough apology for him to at least talk it out with you. After all, he was the one you reported your stalker to. Wouldn’t help to have tension between you two, if you wanted your problem worked on cleanly.

It had been a two days since you had seen Tanizaki, two days you had texted. He hadn’t replied, or even read your message, which surprised you, as you thought you’d at least get your message read if not a rejection to fix things.

This was practically all you could think about from the moment you woke up, to the moment you clocked out of your shift. What snapped you away from your disarrayed thoughts was abruptly interrupted when you felt a tight squeeze on your shoulder. Oh god, was it your stalker? Were you getting kidnapped? All you could do was plead for your life, anyway. You could feel them towering over you, breathing down on your neck and their grip was nothing short of rough, at least rough enough to contuse your skin. 

"Someone didn't feel their best today." An irreverent tone laced this person's voice, yet they didn't sound threatening at all. If anything, it was more friendly. Their hand removed itself from your shoulder, and you turned around, your eyes being met with the bandaged man who gazed at you, yet again at work. Your eyes widened, and you stepped back a bit. Wow, now that he was in front of you it was much more apparent how much taller he was, his figure looming over you and the very discernible difference in strength between you two becoming more and more visible as you really realized how much strength had been removed once his hand was removed off of your shoulder.

"Ah- no, I'm just fine. What are you doing here, mister...?"

"Dazai, Dazai Osamu." He stated softly, placing his hand on his hip. "Nice to officially meet you mister Dazai, what did you need that was so important to wait till.." You quickly glanced down at your watch. "4:13 AM..?"

He smiled at you, bending down slightly and squinting his eyes a bit. "Thought I'd make myself acquainted with my favorite bartender." A mischievous, yet playful look spread across his face.

'Your only bartender.' you thought. He didn't seem as threatening as he was originally, his ghostly demeanor sent chills throughout your body whenever he shot you a look during your shift. "Well, nice to meet you mister Dazai. I'm (y/n)." You put your hand out accordingly for him to shake. He shook your hand, the coldness of his fingers spreading throughout your hand, his smile becoming a bit softer each time he spoke. "Nice to meet you, (y/n). You can drop the formalities by the way." 

"Ah, yeah. Sorry, nice to meet you too Dazai. I should be heading home now though." As you were turning away, he grabbed your hand, the cold sensation of his palm shocking you for a split second. "You don't work friday, do you? How about you drink a bit with me, we can get closer." You couldn't help but still be weirded out. Sure, his face didn't hold any malice, but you still had a bad feeling about the guy. "I dunno.. besides, I've never drank before. Only sips here and there of my mom's beer when I was a kid." You scratched your chin and broke eye contact with him by glancing to the side.

His eyes lit up, and he grasped both hands and leaned into your face. "That's great, I can help introduce you to some. C'mon, I'm sure you barely have time to speak to anyone, since you work at night and sleep through most of your morning." His tone dripped with persuasion, as he coaxed you with his oh-so desperate-looking expression and you had to admit, the attention from a handsome guy was nice.

You rationalized in your head, thinking about the possibility of either you or him getting hurt. You were awfully lonely, though. No friends at eighteen, only working then reading once you had downtime. One drink couldn't hurt, right? "Maybe, I guess. Give me your phone, I'll put my number in. I'll think about the whole drink thing though." You sighed, putting your open palm out toward him. He smirked and let out a little chuckle as he placed his phone in your hand. You entered your contact and texted yourself. "Cool, I'll text you then." You nodded, and the two of you parted ways. Though you couldn't but help think to yourself..

How’d he know you didn’t work Friday?

Another day without Tanizaki texting you, or even reading yours. He really was avoiding you, wasn’t he? No matter how many times you checked your phone there was no notification popping up, and it only made you even more stressed. Why was he so set on not fixing this? “UGH..” You groaned as you unlocked your car, and plopped yourself on the seat. 

Once you arrived at your apartment you smelt something odd, gross smelling even. It brought a nasty scent to your nose, and your nose scrunched as a result. “Jeez, what are my neighbors cooking?” You checked your watch. Why would someone be cooking at 4:30 AM?

ping!

You fished your phone out of your pocket and checked the notification, your eyes were a bit blurry out of exhaustion and not having adjusted to your phone's bright light — in comparison to your dark apartment that is.

unknown number.

You swallowed, a lump in your throat forming almost immediately as you saw the text. 

unknown number 4:32 AM - ‘check the side of your apartment ♡’

Oh god, they were there outside your apartment waiting for you, weren’t they? You pulled out a pocket knife you had always kept with you, and sheepishly inched yourself out the door. You bit the bullet and darted down to the alley, and god you wish that they were there, instead of the horrors that met your eyes as you rushed down in a cold sweat, heaving and panting at the sight in front of you.

Tanizaki’s body was pinned to the alleyway’s wall, his entrails surrounding him in the shape of a heart. And it wasn’t just him either, it was six officers you had never even seen either. 

Your ears rang, and the tears escaped your eyes, streaming down your cheeks. You wheezed and coughed, feeling vomit in your throat, a bile-inducing sensation harboring your stomach. Vision blurry, eyes heavy.

“I- hafta.. call.. Police- I-“ You grabbed your phone out of your pocket, nearly dropping it with your much your hands shook, juggling it in the air for a moment.

ping! 

unknown number 4:37 AM - ‘i wouldn’t report that if i were you, might get accused of a crime you didn’t even do.’

Sick fuck. They were watching you? Threatening you by implying you'd be framed for this? Your head moved every which way, trying to look for your stalker frantically. Your expression was worth more than a costly painting to them, you knew that much. Were they doing this to get back at you? Had you wronged someone? Why you? It's not like you'd ever been a sociable person, let alone one to meddle in other people's lives or affairs.

unknown number 4:38 AM - ‘you’re cute when you look for me like that you know, just go back inside and that’ll be gone by morning.’

Was this freak getting off on this? Your stomach felt like it was twisting in on itself. What happened? You were just talking to him a few days ago, and yet there he was, hanging in front of you surrounded by his organs, the smell of his innards invading your nose and making your head dizzy with disgust. Whoever did this could rot in hell for all you cared, you wanted nothing more than to replace the gory sight of Tanizaki in front of you with the perpetrator. The nauseating smell contaminated every inch of your nose, the rotting of Tanizaki’s body making you feel sick to your stomach. He must’ve been dead for a couple of days at this point, explains the smell and the unread text you’ve had on your mind.

But all you could do was put your phone in your pocket and hurriedly run back inside, still panting like a dog as you did so. What more could you do? This person clearly had the skills to kill you at any given time, and you still weren’t sure of their motive for stalking you either. All you could do was oblige the best you could.

You didn’t receive any more texts that night, but after recalling the horrid things you saw in the alley, trying to sleep was futile. You couldn’t help but think it was your fault he was murdered, him and the other six officers.

The day after the incident was dreadful. Your stalker had told the truth, Tanizaki’s body had disappeared by morning. You were exhausted, running on no sleep whatsoever, a scratchy feeling lingering in your eyes the entire day. The thought of arriving back at your apartment after work used to be a comforting warmness, one that took the alcohol's acrid stench out of your nose, but it had been replaced with a gut-wrenching feeling and a vile tang coating your mouth. 

Despite the unsettling thought that you'd have to return home once your shift ended in a few minutes, you started closing the bar, wiping down the tables, and eventually changing out of your work uniform. Walking out the backdoor oblivious to what was to come next, you checked the time on your phone. 4 AM. Oh well, you couldn't avoid your own house. Finally closing the bar, the idea of going home overwhelmed you even more as the time to leave the establishment was just a few minutes away. Was your stalker going to be there? Another body accompanying them, and more things of yours stolen? Would they force themselves on you? All of these concepts just made you all the more nervous to return home, and you were unsure you'd even be able to sleep tonight, still thinking of the horrors that had met your eyes the night before.

You came home to a white note on your bed, thankful it wasn’t another body, but also drowned in an upset thought that your stalker was able to get in your house, not that it was surprising, seeing their capabilities with law enforcement. Why would your average apartment lock be a match for them? The note read, “i apologize for my little theatric last night, i just needed to express how i felt ♡ i hope you have a good idea now. it took a bit to set up which is what the rotting was about,, i have work too. nonetheless... i hope you enjoyed your shift. count on me visiting you sometime soon, except this time i’ll make it known that i’m there. hope you're as excited as i am.” 

Make it known? Does this mean they’ve been near you in your house without you knowing? Everything you learned about this person has only made you more and more sick. Were they also really saying they hoped you enjoyed your shift? How could you after what you'd had seen, it was practically printed onto your eyelids, flashing in front of you whenever you blinked. You only furrowed your eyebrows and angrily threw a pillow at your window. "Fuck you! If you're watching me!" 

You looked at yourself for a second in the mirror and sighed to yourself. "What am I doing..." You facepalmed and laid back on your bed, hoping to get some rest.

Despite the rough night you had, you were able to slip 2 hours of sleep in before you were woken up by a night terror, in which you relived the events of the night you found Tanizaki in vivid detail. Well, you could barely call it a night terror, as it was at 11 AM, 2 hours after you were able to finally get some rest at 9 AM. Truth be told, the last thing you wanted to do was go out drinking. Not only did you hate alcohol, but you still had the nagging voice in the back of your head constantly reminding you of what you had seen by your apartment the other night. You had been too scared to even go to the station to check up on your report with the stalker, not like it would matter anyway. Your little secret admirer had already displayed their capabilities. Killing seven trained armed officers wasn't easy, and you were sure they wouldn't hesitate to do more harm, maybe even to you. You were in desperate need of company, loneliness stacked on top of your work and your stalker going MIA at random and popping up whenever they wanted only added to your stress. So you'd take any time to unwind with anyone you could find, maybe that is why you found yourself so quickly in a friendship with Tanizaki and Dazai.

Time had passed to when you should get ready to drive to the spot Dazai told you to go to in texts earlier that day, your conversation reading as such.

(xxx)-xxx-xxxx 2:52 PM - ‘hello!!! this is dazai!! r u still up 4 drinks? (∩╹□╹∩)'

you changed his contact to dazai.

me 2:54 PM - ‘i guess so, no promise ill be doing any drinking tho.'

dazai 2:56 PM - ‘meet me @ (address) by 5:30 pm, kay?'

me 2:57 PM - ‘okay, see u then 👍'

For a moment, you almost declined. However, seeing as you lost the person who was working on your case and offering you some sliver of emotional support, you thought 'fuck it.' 

Your first impression of him didn't fit how he spoke to you at all, he was cheerful and charismatic, in contrast to his uninterested and cold air that had clouded you originally. It rolled around to 5:00 PM, which was your queue to get ready for your hangout with Dazai later. You wore a skirt that stopped at your lower thighs, paired with pantyhose and a sweater, simple but not bummy or anything. You wore your hair down, put on a simple makeup look, and looked at your watch. 5:15 PM, perfect timing. You walked over to the meeting spot, which was just a local park about 10 minutes away, and plopped yourself on the bench, scrolling through your phone as you waited for Dazai to arrive. As you waited, you were left alone with your thoughts. Was this a mistake? What if your stalker hurt this guy too? What if your stalker ended up hurting you out of anger? Thoughts of Tanizaki's body invaded your head, his pale skin and the image of his eyes white, rolled back into his skull making you dizzy.

Thankfully, you were able to postpone these thoughts for later when Dazai arrived. Yet this time, instead of a sharp pain on your shoulder, he greeted you with a ruffle of your hair. "Hey, you ready? You look a bit distraught."

"H-huh? Oh, yeah sorry." You said while standing up. "If you say so! The bars close, just a 5-minute walk." He said, grabbing your hand and tugging you along, you nearly tripped over your own feet at the sudden movement. You looked down, letting him string you along when you noticed he wasn't wearing his usual suit and instead a black turtleneck with black pants. However, his bandages never seemed to part from him, making you question if it was really just an accessory. You found it a bit hard to talk around Dazai, likely because you had just officially met the dude less than a day ago. You didn't have this issue with Tanizaki though, something about Dazai just intimidated you, and kept you on your toes. 

"So.. Dazai.. Is your usual outfit that I see you in.. the suit and tie I mean- is that for work..?" You said, finally breaking the silence, trailing behind him and drilling your eyes into the back of his head. "Yeah, I usually just wear what I'm wearing now out of work." 

You piped up, genuinely curious. "So what do you do for work?" You noticed he ever so slightly paused in his tracks for a moment, before continuing to walk again. "Secret!" He looked back at you as he said this, making a 'shh' signal on his lips and winking at you. A bit weird but who were you to judge? You doubt it was anything special anyway. You let out a little 'pfft' and simply stayed quiet for the rest of the walk.

When you two arrived, the bar was nearly empty, with only a few groups and singles sitting at tables. The bar was quiet, which was surprising for well, a bar. The quiet, unintelligible chatters of what tables were filled were the only sound you heard, besides the clinking of glasses whenever the bartender cleaned dishes. You hadn't ever been here, which wasn't much of a shocker, you hadn't ever drunk before.

"So you've never drunk, huh? How about a classic like... whiskey!" He said, landing his hand on your shoulder and bringing you to a stool, pushing you on it a bit before you plopped yourself onto the bolstered seat. "Ah- Dazai I don't.." He was quick to cut you off. "Don't worry your pretty little head, (y/n). I've got you covered." He beamed. "Bartender, get us about 7 shots of whiskey, 52% please. 3 for her, 4 for me." You weren't even able to contest against the notion, so you just sighed and let it happen. You couldn't help but think to yourself, were you moving too fast into this friendship? Sure you were desperate, but you would hate to let this person get hurt too. Maybe this was a bad idea, you should leave now-

"Hey, drinks are here. Don't get too zoned out on me!" Snaps of Dazai's fingers in front of your face brought you back to reality, and he swished a whiskey shot around in your face, the ice cube clanking against the shot glass. "Here, try it." He said, handing it to you. 

Whatever, you'd deal with your problems later. You deserved a break after all you'd been through. You snatched the glass out of his hands and wasted no time in downing it in one go, quickly grabbing another shot from his hand and downing that one, too. "Woah, calm down I wont steal your drink!" He glanced at the bartender and held up 5 fingers, signaling for 5 more shots. He turned back to you, resting his head on his chin and smiling at you. "Getting a bit tipsy already? You're hiccupping so much off just two shots." You only moved your hand up and down, dismissing the possibility. "Nah... I'm good.." He chuckled and took the glasses the bartender had prepared for you two, taking one to his lips. "Relax, it's all on me. I'll make sure you get home safe too." You were comforted by that, even if you had only known him for so little the gesture meant a good deal to you. 

An hour into the night you were slumped on your stool hands on the table and 6 shots in, which for a lightweight and a first-time drinker, was A LOT. Dazai took the opportunity to ask you a couple of questions, while you were in a drunken state you were sure to be honest. You were also vulnerable, he wanted you to open up to him to get you right where he needed you to be, and he didn't care about the things he had to do for that; even if it were to break your boundaries. "Got an ability?" He said, making the mood jump from 0 to 100.

"Well, I-" He cut you off, a fake tone of regret in his voice.

"Ah, wait. My bad, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to." This was just his way of making you feel like you could be safe around him, a shoulder to lean on if you will. "No, it's cool.." You slurred your words a bit when you spoke, moving your head on your arms that were resting on the table. "I can heal those I touch, doesn't apply to me though. Kinda sucks since I don't have a way to defend myself." You paused and looked up at him. "You?" He chuckled and moved his hair to the side, scratching his chin. "No.. unfortunately not, lame I know." It went quiet for just a few seconds before he piped up again. "Here, try this shot." He said, handing you a glass you didn't even recall him ordering. "Uhm.. what is it?" He tapped the glass and swished it around. "Just some whiskey mixed with gin." He said, lying through his teeth. Not like you could tell though. "Mmmm.. alright." You said, letting the shot travel down your throat. Didn't taste like whiskey, but you brushed it off.

It had turned to 1 AM, hours passed quickly due to the two of you talking nonsense over drinks; if you could even call your barely comprehensible drabble 'speaking.' "Dazai.. it was really nice speakin' t'ya but I've gotta go home now.." You stumbled off the stool, nearly tripping till he caught you. "Not in this state you're not, I'll take you home." You pushed his chest away weakly, the alcohol in your system making it hard for you to even lift a finger. "No... I don't wanna go home-" You hiccupped and wiped a small tear away. "They're gonna be there.. and hurt me and you.." He smiled at your honest demeanor and inability to keep your composure. You were too easy, he had you right where he needed you. Dependent, anxious, completely honest with him.

"Hey, what's up? You can speak to me about it you know." He said, brushing your hair out of your face and cupping your cheek, his rough bandages giving you a blunt itchy sensation to your face. "Mmmm... 'ts nothing... I don't want you to be worried or scared. I can't lose another friend.." He tilted his head and smiled softly. "Let's get you home, then you can let your troubles onto me, kay?" He said squeezing your hand and standing up, lending you a shoulder. 

Shortly, the two of you arrived at your house. Your drunk mind brushed over the fact that he knew the address and he placed you on the couch, seating himself next to you. "What's on your mind? You've been worried all night." You shook your head and frowned. "Can't tell, you'll get hurt." He sighed and placed his hand on your shoulder. "C'mon, I assure you I'll be fine. I know you just met me, but we're friends, aren't we? Unless that is.. you don't trust me?" He cooed to you, tilting his head as he said that last part. His faux sympathy won you over and your body untensed, and you caved. You ended up telling him everything, showing him the texts, telling him about Tanizaki's body, and your stolen dispensaries and clothes. He only held you and listened, as you two sat on the edge of your bed, and as you foolishly cried your worries into his chest. 

"It's okay love, take your time. It's been hard for you yeah?" He palmed your cheek, his sultry tone of voice dancing around you. "But you've done so well, haven't you?" He continued, though this wasn't the Dazai that you had met. He was completely different, and you were torn on whether to depend on him or not, fearful of being hurt.

"I'm here for you, got that?" 

It felt nice. Nice to be cared for, given attention to, and loved. Oddly enough, you found yourself drawn to him, even if you knew nothing about him.

Yeah, you'd put your faith in him. 

"Th..thank you.. Dazai.." You whimpered out through sobs, voice muffled as you shimmied your head even closer to his chest, your hands gripping his back a bit harder.

So just for tonight, you'd depend on him.

[kichiyosh1]

Hi ,, my heads full of final exams and scara 🤕

this is my first request of a story of any kind but..

Top of the class reader who is trying to help her boyfriend scara pass his exams! But scara would much rather steal looks at her then look at the work questions in front of him. Reader scolds him but it goes in one ear and out the other, bc he thinks it cute (but wouldn’t want to admit it) ㅠㅠ

I’m not sure if you’ve done something similar but, I hope this was a sufficient request for u too work with ٩˙ヘ˙و

– 🌀 anon !!

Focus on the paper, not me!

modern au!scaramouche x f!reader

Sorry this was late! Woooh exams, good thing i won't be dealing with those for a while. That info is more than sufficient, in fact i was already able to picture a whole plot in my head thanks to it 🌀 anon!

»»————>

"Scara, we've been at this for hours and we've only studied one chapter."

You'd say the situation was quite... hopeless. You weren't using that term on your boyfriend though. Of course not, you know how well he's able to do good with his grades, but his ways of staying academically afloat are indeed questionable.

Having to drink black coffee the moment he wakes up and cramming lessons and assignments by 3am in the morning was impressive, but seriously unhealthy. You wouldn't be surprised either if he did the same thing for his exams, but surprised you were when he came up to you one day to ask for you to help him study.

and that leads to now.

"How 'bout you try answering these work questions and we'll focus on reviewing the ones you get wrong. We'll start by answering the simpler questions before moving onto—" Your hands were busy rummaging through papers while your gaze shifted left and right across the work sheets.

It was at times like this where Scara's able to take a good look at you. The concentrated look on your face made you look so cute and eager. Your cheeks puffed out just a tiny bit like a little chipmunk busying itself with collecting acorns, or in your case, helping him study.

You handed him a pen and laid out the papers, reminding him that it was alright if he didn't get all of them right, just a couple to prove that he at least learned something. "How nice of you, though if I end up getting a score least of what you're expecting, then that's on you." he was already through to five questions, posture facing the paper but his eyes flicker from time to time to you.

"You should be grateful I'm even willing to help you. Do you know how many others would want to be in your position right now?" you crossed your arms with a huff.

"Good thing I got to you first."

"You didn't, I just declined tutoring all of them because I didn't have the energy for it."

"Oh, then how lucky am I, to have such a sweet, loving and caring girlfriend look after me, who also happens to be incredibly smart too~."

You would have nudged him hard, but you didn't want the ink of his pen to run the wrong way. So you could only look at him in disbelief, debating if you should feel happy about his compliment, or offended that he could have implied that he pursued you for your smarts. Knowing Scaramouche, you decided not to take it to heart, after all he was prone to teasing you one way or another.

"Your talk better be as strong as your bite, because unless you want to count my face as part of your exam, I suggest you keep your eyes on your paper, scara." You say with folded hands and a close eyed smile, though the irk mark on your forehead was showing.

He wasn't subtle at all, stealing glances at a time like this when he should be focused on answering. A single bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face, only a few more questions left.

'I'll have you know if this exam remotely has anything involving you in it, I'd ace it no problem.' he wouldn't tell you that though. It was already embarrassing how he couldn't think straight since his thoughts would always keep circling back to you.

"Even your ugly face would be more appealing to look at right now instead of this annoying exam." He says handing you his finished papers, stretching out his back before focusing his attention on to you.

"At least I'm not dumb enough that I would be in need of a tutor, right? Makes you think that pretty face of yours is all you have going" this time you could only give him a deadpanned look in return before scanning over his papers. His face is bright red because of the uno reverse you just pulled.

The silence after that was deafening, making your best efforts to ignore him. A part of him slightly now regretted what he said so standing up from his position, draping his arms over your shoulder from behind, he could only sigh.

"You're not mad because of what I said right? You know I didn't mean it. Your face is anything but that if not it's— pleasing. It's nice to look at. It makes me feel at peace whenever I see you smiling, or whatever kind of expression you're wearing it always makes me feel like everything's gonna be alright. Like right now, when you—" he got cut off when you titled you head to the side. Your lips meeting his, giving him a peck on the lips before having your body fully face him.

"It's nice hearing you say those things, but you don't need to explain yourself. I think you've given enough evidence to show the court how much you like looking at me. I mean I do too, but at least I'm discreet about it!" You chuckled while placing the papers down, leaving scara once again all red in the face, but it disappeared just as quickly when he saw the serious look on your face.

"Oh, and you didn't get a single answer right by the way. So I'm hoping you can focus on the paper and not me this time."

"..."

"Why are you just staring at me?"

"I'm soaking in the image of your face into my memory so that I don't keep looking at you later on."

"I take it back, you are hopeless."

____

If anything's inconsistent please ignore it lol I didn't proof read yet cuz my eyes keep going ⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️ cuz I'm sleepy so imma do that tomorrow.

[carbela-nation]

Carmen doll edits?

I'm super hyped about the new Carmen Doll! Like, beyond hyped.

But something about it was irking me, like it looked uncanny. So- I decided to make some edits to align more with what I think Carm looks like!

(I don't actually know how people customize dolls nor will I probably get my hands on this doll because it's US exclusive but..)

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Here are my edited versions !!

In the show she technically never has any eye highlights, so that was really throwing me off as a whole. I'll put the original below for comparisons!

The hair colour might be a bit strong but I digress, my shayla returns but as a shadow of her former self.. or maybe i'm nit-picking who knows.

It's more of a personal opinion but feel free to share your thoughts!