#it involves the copy of life is strange i gave them and their basement

[worldtherewithin]

who knew that (almost) every semblance of intimacy with this person would be through/because of video games. i love video games

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Queerly Beloved

Author: SmilesAwakeYou

Year: 2009

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Garth Marenghi, Dean Learner, Todd Rivers, Dr. Rick Dagless, Lucien Sanchez, Liz Asher, Thornton Reed, Julian OC, Noel OC

Adjusting his tie and shifting the book in his hand, Garth regarded the camera aimed at his handsome face. He raised a brow and opened the pages of Blood Gush to read the genius that lied therein. Mustering all of his strength, he tried to think of what exactly it was he was trying to convey to the camera. What did newscasters call it again? Ah yes. Gravity. So, with all the gravity he could muster, he stared the camera down as inspired words tumbled from his lips. “’Ah,’ she yelled, clawing at the bloody stump that was once her beautiful pearly alabaster arm. ‘My arm, my bloody arm, what have you done with it you ruddy bastard?’ “’Eaten it, of course,’ replied the rabid magical badger who was still noshing on the bloody vestiges of her once beautiful appendage. With that, she kicked ‘im in the head so hard, his eyeballs popped out and exploded like two water balloons full of cream getting hit by a lorry.’” Turning his full attention back to the camera, Garth arched his eyebrow once more. “Hello. That was my terrifying and harrowing epic Blood Gush, a tale of a woman caught in a lie betwixt herself and a satanic cult of terrifying woodland animals.” He allowed a small smile to flit across his face. “Let’s see if you can muster up the courage to travel alone in the woods again after reading that bit of literature.” He killed the smile as a sudden burst of gravity hit him, causing him to scowl. “In my television program, Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, I sought to venture into the deepest, darkest, most dankest vestibules of my twisted psyche. What were my fears? What were my terrors? What had made me most whiz the bed as a kid? “As I answered those and many other unanswerable questions, I came to realize that the horror I had to spill upon the unsuspecting world would leave her crippled, mangled, like a bird that’s run into a closed window because it’s so stupid it can’t see that it’s glass and then leaves a streak of blood there that I’ve then got to go and clean up because my wife’s too squeamish, even though Sheffield United is playing. Because of this, Darkplace was canceled. That and the Beeb found out it had more stock footage of baby animals than it had originally thought, leading to the premiere of Baby Animals Yawning Are Quite Cute, Yeah? now entering its 25th season. “Anyway, as I questioned and pondered and schemed and was generally brilliant, I came up with an episode so mind-shakingly and bowl-movingly earth-shattering that it was never allowed on air… much like the other six episodes. Of course, it dealt with very sensitive issues and, with the help of my producer Dean Learner” – a picture of Dean and Garth flashed across the screen, both of them looking dapper as Dean stroked his glorious moustache – “we wrote what proved to be the most harrowing episode yet. An episode that dealt with… the Gay Issue.” Garth paused, waiting for such a monumentous statement to really sink in and stick to his viewers’ sides. “So join me now and sift through the demented horrors from my brain as this episode, previously unaired on British television, is seen for the first time. Unless you’re from Finland. They got a hold of it there somehow. We may be suing.” ******* CUE OPENING CREDITS EPISODE #7: “QUEERLY BELOVED” DR RICK DAGLESS, MD walks down a hallway in slow motion. Various hospital goers look on in impressed wonderment. He is truly a great man, as is evident from his walking prowess. DAGLESS [voiceover] Darkplace. It’s a bit mad to work in a place this dark. All this mad darkness can get to a lesser man. Sometimes I think I might just have to blow this popsicle stand and go somewhere a bit less mad and dark. LIZ and SANCHEZ walk by, waving merrily. But, hey, they people here ain’t so bad. Plus, were I to leave everything would go to shit. Cut to THORNTON’s office. THORNTON is sitting at the desk, smoking a cigar and stroking his moustache. DAGLESS [voiceover] Thornton Reed. Now there’s a mangy old grizzly bear if I’ve ever seen one. Which I haven’t but I have seen specials on the Beeb and they are quite impressive. Anyway, Thornton had called me in to discuss some very important business which was business as usual, given the fact that I was his official important-business go-to guy. DAGLESS So, what’s the word, Thornton? THORNTON Puts down his phone Oh, Dag! I cannot believe how mad and dark this place is. So mad and dark! If you were to leave, everything would go to shit. DAGLESS [voiceover] See? DAGLESS Well what dark madness is afoot today? THORNTON Well, you see, there’s some mess happening with one of our morticians. Turns out he’s gone missing! DAGLESS Missing you say? THORNTON Yes. DAGLESS Well, that’s no good. Probably off fucking about with one of the cadavers. THORNTON Laughs heartily before looking deadly serious. Now Dag, dead bodies aren’t something to joke about. Especially since all the cadavers are male! Necrophilia is one thing but gay necrophilia is a horse of a different color. Specifically all the colors… meaning a rainbow-painted horse. A gay, rainbow-painted, dead horse. DAGLESS Gives a manly laugh. If that’s one thing I can’t abide by, it’s anal sex with dead bodies. SANCHEZ and LIZ enter SANCHEZ What’s Rick talking about? His normal Friday night? LIZ Now come on fellas, there’s a lady present. DAGLESS Hardly! Everyone laughs at the hilarious joke. LIZ Still laughing. Oh, I find it so attractive when men put me in my place! THORNTON Striking his desk with resolve. Now now. Let’s come to order. As I was telling Rick, there’s a small order of business concerning a missing mortician. DAGLESS Necrophiliac you mean. Everyone laughs. THORNTON Now Dag, while I too find the prospect of a man getting his jollies by do the genital jamboree with some dead sod downright hilarious, we still need to figure out just where in the Dickens he might have got to. LIZ Is it possible he might have gone home? THORNTON Trust a woman to come up with such a stupidly hair-brained idea. He shakes his head. No, Liz, he hasn’t gone home because he CAN’T go home. He sleeps here. Prefers to, actually. Plus he’s contractually obligated. All the morticians are. Can’t have them running about, giving away secrets of the dead to just anyone. SANCHEZ Well where could he have got to? DAGLESS I don’t know. But wherever he’s got, we’ll find him. I think we should start in the basement. THORNTON Right, you three go down there to the morgue and I will stay here and make sure he’s not skulking about in the proper hospital. DAGLESS Sounds like a plan. ********* INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER Dean, his mustache twitching thoughtfully, gave the camera a baleful look. “Now, when Garth came to me with this idea, I thought he was downright mad. A whole episode about the gays? Preposterous! But then he sat me down and actually talked out the plot with me and, well, I’ll be diddled with a fiddle stick if it wasn’t downright brilliant.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Arching an eyebrow, Garth regarded the camera. “Now, you might find it interesting to know that we actually created more of a stink with our talk about morticians than the homos. Surprising, that. Turns out morticians are very easily offended. It’s not our fault that their jobs almost invariably involve bumming the dead.” INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd, shifting in his chair, steepled his fingers as he contemplated the camera. “Well, yes, when Garth told me about the subject matter of this episode, I was duly alarmed but it is my duty as an actor to overcome all obstacles, no matter how gay. Actually, the thing I ended up taking issue with the most was all that bad-talking about morticians. I got an advanced copy of the script and told Garth, ‘Hey now! What have you got against morticians?’ You see, my grandfather worked in a morgue and I remember many a happy childhood day spent romping about, putting make-up on corpses and coming home smelling of grandma’s pie and formaldehyde. But Garth stuck to his guns and, yes, I think the episode benefited from it in the end.” ******* Cut to the basement. It is dreary and dripping noises sound from all around. DAGLESS [voiceover] Now this was certainly an odd case. Morticians are notorious for being boring and not having much of a life, so where could this one have disappeared to? It was quite a mystery indeed. SANCHEZ Oh, hey now, what was that? LIZ I didn’t hear anything. DAGLESS That means absolutely jack shit, Liz. It’s a well-known fact that men have a superior sense of hearing to women. What did it sound like, Sanch? SANCHEZ It sounded like a distant moaning. DAGLESS A distant moaning? SANCHEZ Yes. DAGLESS My, that is odd. LIZ Perhaps we should go down to the morgue? DAGLESS My God, Liz, no one likes a pushy woman. But perhaps you’re right. LIZ I’m sorry, Rick, that was out of line. DAGLESS It’s alright. There’s a wailing noise, like man mourning the loss of a child. Or that of a wounded monkey. SANCHEZ Hey now, what could that be? LIZ It sounds like it’s coming from the morgue. DAGLESS Only one thing to do then. Let’s go! They all begin to run in slow motion. Cut to MORGUE. DENNIS THE MORTICIAN pulls up his pants and whirls around. DENNIS Oh, Dr. Dagless. Other doctors. I didn’t hear you coming. SANCHEZ Well, you seem like you were too busy doing some “coming” yourself. DENNIS His small eyes dart about like a shrimp. I was just changing my pants. DAGLESS Right, well, we’re not here to discuss your disgusting habits. We came here to discuss a missing mortician. DENNIS Oh, you mean Maurice? Yes, he’s been missing since this morning. DAGLESS Any idea where he could’ve got to? DENNIS No. Not one. Though he did say that one of the bodies was behaving… strangely. Everyone exchanges a look. SANCHEZ Strangely, you say? DENNIS Yes. Strangely. Then he buggered off. Suddenly, the moaning noise is heard again. SANCHEZ Sweet holy moley, Dag, what was that? DAGLESS I dunno, but it’s sending chills right up the old spine chord. LIZ Perhaps we should go investigate? DAGLESS You and your bright ideas, Liz. The moaning continues. But perhaps this once you’re right…. Again. SANCHEZ Pulls out his pistol. C’mon lads! And lady. Let’s go find us a mortician! DAGLESS, LIZ, SANCHEZ and DENNIS all take off, running in glorious slow motion with intense music drumming in the background. They enter a small, dark room with candles and spiderwebs everywhere. DAGLESS [voiceover] As soon as we entered the room, I knew something was afoot. This was some bad joojoo. SANCHEZ I don’t feel good about this, Dag. DAGLESS I know. I know. DENNIS whips around and points to a corner. DENNIS Oh God! What is that? LIZ shrieks. LIZ Oh my, how horrible! A man with fantastic hair lurches forward, flinging out his arms and doing jazz hands in a sparkly red jumpsuit before grabbing SANCHEZ as his gun goes off. SANCHEZ and the man grapple and wrestle until DAGLESS jumps in to pull them apart. Throwing the man off of SANCHEZ, he pulls a cross out of his shirt. DAGLESS Be gone, foul creature! The man hisses and sashays away. DENNIS My God, that was Maurice! DAGLESS It’s too late now. You’re friend has become a vampire. A demon of the night. Nosferatu. LIZ Oh my! How could such a thing happen? DAGLESS Well, when you’re messing about with dead bodies all day, it’s no wonder that a vampire might sneak its way in. Turns to SANCHEZ. You alright? You’re holding your neck. SANCHEZ Holding his neck. Oh, I do believe I’ll be alright, old friend. He falls to his knees. But I think I also got bitten. He falls completely on the floor. DAGLESS drops to his knees and rips open his shirt. DAGLESS Nooooooo!! SANCHEZ picks his head up. SANCHEZ Well, I don’t think I’m dead yet, so you might still be able to save me. His head falls to the floor again. DAGLESS Oh. Alright. ******** INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “People actually seemed surprised that Garth and I wrote this episode together. To be fair, it was Garth’s concept to begin with. But then I got in on the action which some people – i.e. my wife - found rather suspect. I mean, what’s so strange about two men researching an episode about gayness by going to pubs that cater almost exclusively to homosexuals? Sure, the experience was disgusting, but it was also educational.” He paused. “And hazy.” ****** Cut to a hospital bed where SANCHEZ is lying down, a bandage around his neck. SANCHEZ Thanks for dragging me out of that hell hole, friends. DAGLESS Not a problem, mate. I know you’d do the same for me. DAGLESS [voiceover] The problem was that we didn’t know when the vampirism would manifest itself. Or how. LIZ Don’t worry, Sanchez. You’ll be good as new soon. SANCHEZ Thanks, Liz. DAGLESS turns to DENNIS. DAGLESS Now you: go and try and find out where Maurice or whatever’s left of him could’ve disappeared to. I’ve got to go talk to Reed. Cut to THORNTON’S office. THORNTON Pounding his desk authoritatively. I don’t like it, Dag, I don’t like it one bit. A vampire? In this hospital? Now that is just a pain in my arse. And neck. DAGLESS I don’t like it much either, Reed. Not at all. And there was something a bit off with this vampire. He was a bit… fabulous. THORNTON Fabulous? What in God’s great glorious manteats do you mean by that? DAGLESS …I don’t know, Reed. I just don’t know. DAGLESS [voiceover] But I did know. Or at least, I had an inkling. I suspected that this vampire might be the rare kind… the campy kind. A gay vampire. ******* INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “It was actually my idea to make it be vampires that would spread the gayness. Because, you know, gayness – just like vampirism – is spread through the blood.” He glanced over behind the camera to where the producer was shaking his head. “Oh, it isn’t? Well, anyway, that’s what we thought at the time. I originally wanted to call the vampires ‘campires’ – get it? Campy vampires? – but Garth didn’t get it and I thought… it Garth doesn’t get it, who in blue blazes will? So we chucked it. Best decision I’ve ever made.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Garth regarded the camera with an annoyed look. “We ended up running into a bit of a problem with the gay community given the fact that the gayness could be transmitted through the blood. Something about AIDS or some bollocks. So I just said, ‘look, I don’t get all uppity when one of you tries to play it straight, alright? So don’t get in my face when I try and give you people some airtime.’” He smirked and settled back in his chair. “And that ended that argument.” He paused. “Although we weren’t allowed to air the episode. But that’s neither here nor there.” ******* Cut to SANCHEZ’s bedside. He is unconscious and DAGLESS sits beside him, looking manly and concerned. DAGLESS [voiceover] I was worried about Sanchez. Would he be turned gay? Or would he just become a vampire? I wasn’t sure which was worst. Sure, getting my blood sucked out by my best friend was bad enough but getting chatted up by him as well? That was just bone-chilling. SANCHEZ stirs. DAGLESS Can you hear me buddy? It’s your friend, Dag. Just know that I won’t rest until you’re back to normal. Of course, I might also have to give you a stake through the heart but, well, that’s something I’d be willing to do to save you. SANCHEZ In a faint voice. …Dag? DAGLESS moves in closer. DAGLESS Yeah, mate? SANCHEZ I… I feel strange… like… like someone’s doing the electric boogaloo in my Johnson… I’ve got the strange urge to… to dance to ABBA… DAGLESS Shh, it’s ok old friend. SANCHEZ I… I think I might fancy… Boy George… DAGLESS Fight it, Sanch, fight it! SANCHEZ I… Dag? DAGLESS Yeah? SANCHEZ What am I wearing? With that he pulls down his sheets to reveal that he is wearing cut-off jean shorts and a bedazzled silver top as well as a kerchief. His eyes have also gone red and vampire fangs appear. DAGLESS raises an anguished fist. DAGLESS Nooooo! THORNTON and LIZ burst in as SANCHEZ prances up to try and bite DAGLESS. They struggle until DAGLESS gets out his cross again, throwing the transformed SANCHEZ off of him. SANCHEZ cowers in glorious slow motion. SANCHEZ Waaaaargh! ******** INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd crinkled his forehead, his fingers still steepled. “Uh, in that scene I was actually meant to kiss Dagless rather fervently on the mouth. But, as I’ve stated in previous interviews, there’s no limit to my acting… save when it comes to making whoopee with another man. Because while I may be a professional, I’m still straighter than two jockstraps filled with testosterone. And me trying to do the tongue tango with a bloke, well… it just wouldn’t be convincing. Even if I acted my ruddy pants off.” ********* The fighting continues until SANCHEZ is thrown off DAGLESS, causing him to lash out at both LIZ and THORNTON. DAGLESS Get away from them you animal! But it is for naught because both LIZ and THORNTON are bitten. THORNTON Oh, oh ow! That ruddy hurts, it does! LIZ Oh, I do believe I have been wounded! SANCHEZ pauses before running out and DAGLESS goes to the doorway. DAGLESS I will find you and get you! LIZ and THORNTON both fall to the floor. Oh no! Liz! Reed! He looks to the sky. Noooooooo! Sanchez! You gay bastard! Dennis bursts in. DENNIS Dagless! I believe I found out who the root of the problem is! He looks around. What happened here? DAGLESS They got bitten by Sanchez. I’ve got to go stop him before he bites anyone else. DENNIS But wait! You know that body that Maurice had said was behaving strangely? DAGLESS Yes? DENNIS Turns out he’s the head vampire! Only he, uh, bit me too. He continues to look unharmed. DAGLESS looks him up and down. DAGLESS Where? DENNIS shifts uncomfortably before gesturing to his bathing suit area. Ah. Well, where is this vampirical bummer? DENNIS Downstairs. Hurry! DAGLESS runs out of the door. Cut to the basement again. It is still dark and dank and drippy. DAGLESS is running through the halls in slow motion. DAGLESS [voiceover] Now this was worrisome. The head vampire? Here? In this very basement? That was quite the head scratcher. Why here? Why Darkplace? Why Sanchez? This bastard was going to answer those questions. And more. DAGLESS enters the cave-like room that MAURICE was in before. There is a man standing there in a purple cape with his back to DAGLESS. DAGLESS Oi! You! The vampire turns around. He has on sparkly gloves and a pink fedora. He hisses. VAMPIRE How did you find me, lovie? DAGLESS By my own wits. That and Dennis told me you were down here. VAMPIRE Really? He didn’t seem to mind me too much before. DAGLESS Scowls in disgust. Hey, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. Except for when you’re at my hospital. The VAMPIRE starts to advance but DAGLESS whips out his cross again, stopping him in his tracks. Nope, not so fast. Now tell me… why are you here? VAMPIRE Very well. I can tell your will as well as your heterosexuality is too strong for me to sway. He sweeps his cloak and walks around the room, DAGLESS mirroring him. I came to this hospital by accident – I had been hiding out after wreaking havoc on a naval yard by posing as a dead body – and couldn’t help but bite that pretty Maurice when I saw him. Now that I’ve seen this place, I’ve realized that the hostpital is no place for a woman… it is a place for big, beautiful, capable men doctors. And I love it! Not even you can stop me from making this into one big poof factory! Because that is the goal of the gay vampire: MAKE EVERYONE ELSE GAY! DAGLESS I can stop you and I will stop you! Just you wait! The VAMPIRE cackles before disappearing in a plume of smoke, leaving DAGLESS alone and coughing. The others! DAGLESS dashes out of the cave. ******** INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI “Now, there were accusations that this episode was homophobic.” Garth scoffed, leaning forward to regard the camera. “So, yeah, maybe I do find bumming grotesque, but this episode is about awareness, yeah? To show that homos are people too. Or rather anyone can be gay.” He thought for a moment. “Or a vampire.” INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “Yeah, I heard lots of things, right, like ‘oh, you’re perpetuating the stereotype that gay is contagious’ but no!” Dean pointed a decisive finger at the camera. “No. We were trying to show that it’s not contagious.” He paused, stroking his moustache. “Lest of course you exchange bodily fluids. Big difference.” ****** Cut to THORNTON’s office. SANCHEZ and THORNTON are dancing to loud techno music while DENNIS and MAURICE throw satsumas at each other in their underwear and giggle. THORNTON is dressed only in a mesh shirt and a banana hammock. Everyone has fangs. DAGLESS bursts in, breathless. DAGLESS No! No men! Remember you’re men, not poofs! Everyone ignores him. SANCHEZ runs his fingers through THORNTON’s hair and grinds against him. ****** INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd’s hands fell into his lap and he shifted, avoiding the camera lens with his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t actually remember filming that scene.” ********* DAGLESS Turn off the techno! Put on your pants! Stop with the glitter! The VAMPIRE enters in a cloud of smoke, laughing. VAMPIRE All are powerless to the draw of manflesh! He outstretches his hand, flashing his fangs at DAGLESS. Join us, Rick! Join usssss. DAGLESS Never! At that moment, LIZ enters. Her arm is wrapped around another very attractive nurse. LIZ Hi, Dag. So you found the head vampire? DAGLESS nods. Oh, well, I’m a lesbian now. This is Nancy. NANCY Hi! LIZ Isn’t she adorable? DAGLESS Er… LIZ and NANCY begin to snog. It is very hot. Everyone stops dancing to stare at them. MAURICE drops a satsuma. VAMPIRE What? Why did you stop dancing? Keep going! Grind on each other! DAGLESS laughs a manly laugh. DAGLESS You forgot, vampire, the only thing a heterosexual man can never forget: that lesbians are HOT. VAMPIRE Nooooo! DAGLESS And now, for your weakness… He pulls out a wooden stake. Stake to the heart! At that, he thrusts the stake into the VAMPIRE’s heart. He shrieks and disappears. The techno music turns off and everyone goes back to wearing their normal clothes save MAURICE, who stays in the red jumpsuit. LIZ and NANCY stop making out, causing everyone to groan. SANCHEZ Come on, Liz! Don’t stop now! LIZ Sorry fellas, I’m back on men. SANCHEZ Hey-o! LIZ …Except for Sanchez. SANCHEZ …Hey! THORNTON Thank Christ on a cracker for you Dag! I was actually beginning to think Duran Duran was a stellar band! And Sanchez’ pecs were driving me absolutely nutty. SANCHEZ Thanks, Reed. But thank you more, Dag. Without you, we all would have been bumming within the hour. MAURICE Yeah, thanks for saving us! DAGLESS Don’t mention it. Just remember to be more careful when you muck about with those dead bodies from now on, ok? DENNIS Will do. Now we need to get back downstairs to those cadavers. DAGLESS And your necrophilia! Everyone laughs for a good two minutes. MAURICE Alright, thanks again! MAURICE and DENNIS begin to leave, holding hands. SANCHEZ Um, you fellows do know you don’t need to do that anymore right? They exchange a look and drop their hands. DENNIS Right, yes, sure, it’s a… a mortician thing. THORNTON Right… or a gay thing! Everyone laughs again as the camera pans to look at each of their mirthful faces. Cut to the roof of Darkplace. DAGLESS is standing, solitary, overlooking the city below. DAGLESS [voiceover] That day we dealt with vampires, sparkly shirts, gays and, most importantly, the hotness that is two women snogging each other. What did we learn? Was there a point to it all? Had that mortician really been boning a dead body? Was there a reason why that other mortician had been dressed like a very tarty woman? Did Liz have any lingering bisexual tendencies? These and other questions had to be pondered. But for now, we were all a little bit older, a little bit wiser and a little bit more wary about going into the basement. ********** INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER Dean shifted in his chair, cocking his head and lighting a cigar. “Sure, so maybe the focus groups didn’t go wild for the episode but I thought it was a hell of a success.” He paused, looking wistful and taking a puff. “I just didn’t see why my wife felt the need to use it as evidence during our divorce.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Garth leaned back in his chair, an earnest look on his face. “So, as you can see, there was absolutely no homophobia in this episode. Only truth. And two hot women getting it on. So, really, the gays didn’t need to get all up in arms about it. And the guy who played the Vampire? Absolutely did not need to sue us. I mean, how was I to know he was actually gay? You should really warn people about that before they accidentally make jokes about poofters and shirt-lifters in front of you, expecting you to laugh.” Garth regarded the camera with utmost seriousness. “It’s just common courtesy.” CUE END CREDITS

[tekka-dan]

Me, me, me. I wanna know 17, 24, 36 aaaaand 110 pelase.

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?The book: Crash and BurnAuthor: Michael HassanI recommend this book for anyone struggling internally with how friendships manifest, maintain and fall apart. Although that isn't a huge theme of the story, I read this during a period of time in high school where all of my friends left my side. And I couldn't cope with them being going, but that isn't how this book caught my interest.For summarization: The story is centered around the main character whose name is Steven but he goes by Crash (his last name that his friend/foe gave him) who is dealing with his parents divorce. He meets this kid named David (burn) who attempted to literally burn down the school when they were in elementary, for some reason however Burn was willing to spare Crash's life and throughout the story you pick up little traits as to..why.Burn is a bully but more than anything he's misunderstood and insecure. Crash is the only person next to Crash's sister who sees Burn as a person, not a nuisance. Which is vital because even when Burn does some horrifically screwed shit, Crash is never phased. My favorite chapter that speaks volumes for me is when they are playing poker, and Crash was winning like crazy and Burn was getting pissed as hell. The game was taking place after the tragic event 9/11 in which Burn lost someone close to him and he had also just been dumped by someone. For some reason Crash's dad tells him to hang out with Burn for healing purposes, and while Crash doesn't really seem to mind Burn is pissed that he's forced to be around Crash and tries to be an asshole but when he once again realizes Crash isn't phased, he gives up and eventually stops trying to piss him off and just..relaxes. During the game, Crash isn't even trying to win. What's pissing Burn off is that everyone else has some kind of trait they do that basically gives away they have some good cards, however Burn can't read Crash's expression, he has a literal poker face. Crash realizing that Burn is beginning to lose his patience with losing, decides that he doesn't care to actually win. But then there's inner dialogue that really hit home for me. When he looked into Burn's eyes Crash saw all of the pain Burn was in. Years of turmoil, of ridicule, animosity and loneliness. In that one page of inner monologue of Crash taking that split second glimpse into Burn's eyes, he realized that winning this game meant everything to Burn. This wasn't even about his ego, this was something Crash realized in that very moment Burn needed. To win, for once to just win. So Crash folded his cards, automatic win going to Burn. As Burn celebrated, he asked to see Crash's cards to which Crash realized if Burn saw he folded with a royal flush then it would entirely ruin everything, Burn would know he gave up and it would make him feel inferior. So Crash pretended to get upset and he flipped the table over before Burn could reach for his cards and the chapter ended with Crash storming out (happily) to which Burn whispered to another guy "what a sore loser."To this day that chapter makes me want to cry. Because in that moment someone whose never been phased by this guy before realized just by looking at him that more than anything he just needed..to feel like he did something right for once. Crash and Burn is a very emotional read. I finished that book of 573 pages in four days. 24. Favorite Disney Princess?I do not think she is a traditional disney princess. I think for years now people have petitioned to include her in the line up, however she's overlooked. But low and behold--Anastasia. Not only was she attractive to me, she was quite literally plain perfect. Her demeanor was never uptight or snobby. Throughout the whole movie you don't get the vibe of "I'm royal and important" she spoke her mind, she expressed sorrow and she wasn't love struck over a boy (until the end but it was magical honestly) like Anastasia set the bar line for a princess not needing a man or to be royal. I have that movie on VHS and every year during the holidays I would sit in my moms room and rewatch it over and over for days, especially during christmas break. 36. Are you fluent in more than one language?Thanks to Manga, I am able to translate/understand Japanese. Speaking, that is another story because I don't know pronunciations very well. But I've studied manga for years, I read hard copies. I would consider myself fluent in being able to read it. I have a few more years before I am comfortable carrying on conversations, however haha.110. Favorite literary character?I don't know if I have just one favorite, I do love several. I would have to say my favorite of all of them though would have to be Karl from this book called Dying to Know You written by Aidan Chambers.I love Karl because he is merely a masterpiece.(There just isn't a way I can speak about either of my favorite books without delving into the story itself because they excite me so much)Summarization: Its about Karl wanting to impress a girl whose name I remember being uniquely strange, and to get her attention he meets her favorite author who Karl talks into writing letters for him so he can give them to the girl and say that he wrote them, reason being is because the girl was a literary genius and Karl was a dyslexic socially awkward kid. The story is unique because it actually is told in the narrative of the author that Karl soon befriends and we learn so much about Karl through such significant interactions. It's important to know we learn that Karl's mother is a struggling, emotional single parent. Karl being avoidant, he doesn't go to her with anything and the narrator learns that Karl harbors intense hatred towards his father leaving them. The distance he places between him and his mother is what entails her to become entirely over bearing to the point where Karl no longer associates with her by not opening up. The readers are made to believe Karl is internalizing his dissatisfaction of being rejected by his crush, but as the narrator hangs around Karl more we realize Karl is internally struggling with acceptance. Karl is also autistic. His mother knows he does "little things" to occupy his time but what she neglects in learning about him is that the "little things" he does is how he privately copes. Which basically he builds things, out of scrap metal. When Karl disappears during a part of the story and the narrator finds him, they have a significant conversation that almost has no dialogue, however the two become so inadvertently close that he's able to understand Karl on a deeper level. Karl's mother sees him on the surface, in pain and in denial. While the narrator sees in on inside, struggling and furious. The scene that makes me want to cry to this day is where Karl is building something in the basement of garage of the house and the narrator is there, by chance and when Karl tries to explain to his mother what..it is he's building, he sees something they do not. And it angers him to tears that what he considers a masterpiece, his mother cannot understand what it is or what he sees. This causes Karl to lash out and he loses it, he goes into a spiral of how he doesn't understand why the world has to be black and white and his mother explains that it's not human nature to see gray upon first appearance and Karl cannot understand this. He isn't a child and she isn't treating him as one but the narrator finally understands something critical..Karl's mother never tried to understand the pain Karl had and she never bothered to help with us coping mechanism. Instead of getting involved and asking him about his projects, she completely rejects them when she can't understand them, causing Karl to stay encased in this realm he's mentally created where he keeps people away on purpose. During the important scene of the two of them sharing no dialogue, Karl is repetitively stacking rocks near and ocean and he does this for a literal twenty eight hours until he finally says "It just hurts." but what made me want to cry was that the narrator knew this even without Karl having to say anything. The bond those two shared became so incredibly deep that it really makes me emotional to this day. I also read this during an emotional time period for myself, so this story was my saving grace.He's my favorite literary character (I know he isn't like popular..like many stories but I think he should be)Thanks lovely for the wonderful ask, I seriously enjoyed answering this.

[feadae]

For the Fairytale Asks: Muse, Spark, Roses, Castle, Swan Lake, candlelight, princess, sweet daisies, and dwarf.

Ooh wow you flatter me!

Muse: How do you like to relax?As long as I’m sitting by myself somewhere without anyone trying to get my attention, I’m fairly relaxed, but ideally I’d be in the little Hobbit-hole I’ve constructed for myself under my dorm bed, reading, writing, or watching something, in pajamas, with my blanket with classic book quotes on it. The basement of the university library is really nice, too, because you’re required to be stone silent down there, and it’s got a bunch of different kinds of seating for different studying needs, and that seating includes small couches with three walls, so you can pull a small desk in front of yourself and only have distractions in front of you, or you can pull two of the pods together and have a lovely nap (which is not actually that uncommon).

Spark: Favorite film?I’m really bad at picking favorites, so if I’m not careful, I’m just going to list my entire movie library… I usually default to The Princess Bride or Dead Poets Society though, and DPS is a particular favorite at the moment.

Roses: What fictional universe would you like to live in?D e c i s i o n sIf we’re talking living during the events of the book/movie/what have you and being involved in them, then probably Lord of the Rings, just because I’d trust the Fellowship with my dang life and I’m already basically a Hobbit anyway. Or maybe Stardust, because I just really love that movie and being a sky pirate would be fun as hell and also Charlie CoxIf we’re talking living day-to-day, not interacting with any of the characters, but living in the universe, then probably Harry Potter, post-Second-Wizarding-War, just because magic.If we’re talking in between, interacting with the characters and going on adventures of your own, rather than the plot of the book/movie/what have you, then probably CotIG, because it’s got an enormous cast of interesting characters, and I love them all, and good Lord, what I wouldn’t give to live in Tamerlane House for even a day.I’ve thought about this too much

Castle: Favorite fictional character?D E C I S I O N SThere are a whole ton of characters whom I adore, and there’s no way I’m choosing a most favorite from all of them, but a good default answer would be Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. Say what you will about HP and JKR, and chances are I’ll agree, but I’ll never be able to ditch Harry Potter, because it was a hugely formative part of my childhood (seriously, one of my favorite memories is a few months after Deathly Hallows was published–a family tradition from the time I discovered HP in second grade was for my mom to read the books out loud to the whole family a chapter or two at a time–we had just reached the Battle of Hogwarts, it was a Friday night, and my brother and I were about to go to bed, but we wanted to know what happened next, so Mom made us a deal: we would get ready for bed and she would sit out in the hall with Dad and read while we got ready (our rooms and the bathroom we used were all within 20 feet of each other and it was a narrow hallway). So that was what we did, and when we were both ready for bed, we sat down next to Mom and Dad while Mom finished the chapter, and then she kept going, and we didn’t complain because hey we got to find out what happened next and we got to stay up late, and that was how we finished the series–sitting on the floor of the hallway, all four of us, in our pajamas, and Mom said, “The scar hadn’t pained him in 19 years. All was well.” and closed the book and we just sat there with the best Post-Book Bittersweetness I’ve ever experienced). And I’m pretty Hermione-ish now, but when I was a little kid, I was basically a carbon copy of Young Hermione (personality-wise), and I dressed as Hermione for Halloween for four years in a row, and she’s been my favorite character for a long time. As I grew up and got used to the fact that you don’t have to have just one favorite anything, my Favorite Character roster expanded exponentially, and I grew to love Ginny and Luna as much as I love Hermione, because they’re all badasses in their own ways and they each have valuable lessons that they taught little Elementary-School Me, that I carry with me to this day, and I swear I will listen to any critiques you may have about JKR’s writing, but these characters are way too near and dear to my heart for me to eschew HP altogether.(And yes I realize I could have answered this question with “prolly Hermione lol” and done the trick but that’s not how I function)

Swan Lake: Do you like poems? If so, what’s one of your favorites?Fun fact: I didn’t care about poetry that much until the first time I watched Dead Poets Society, and then I went on a spree with a poetry anthology my mom had, basically taking it as my own and dog-earing the pages of poems I liked (this very anthology is on my desk in my dorm room as we speak, lo these many years later). I still don’t know very much about poetry, nor do I usually care to learn, but I’ll always have a soft spot for Shakespeare and Poe, and in the weeks of obsession after I rewatch Dead Poets Society, I pull that anthology back out and reread my dog-eared poems. So here are a couple of those.“Engraved on the Collar of a Dog, Which I Gave to His Royal Highness” by Alexander PopeI am his Highness’ dog at Kew;Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?“The Laboratory” by Robert Browning Now that I, tying thy glass mask tightly,My gaze through these faint smokes curling whitely, As thou plyest thy trade in this devil’s smithy–Which is the poison to poison her prithee?

He is with her; and they know that I knowWhere they are, what they do: they believe my tears flowWhile they laugh, laugh at me, at me fled to the drearEmpty church to pray God in, for them!–I am here. 

Grind away, moisten and mash up thy paste,Pound at thy powder–I am not in haste!Better sit thus, and observe thy strange things,Than go where men wait me and dance at the King’s.

That, in the mortar–you call it a gum?Ah, the brave tree whence such gold oozings come!And yonder soft phial, the exquisite blue,Sure to taste sweetly–is that poison too?

Had I but all of them, the and thy treasures,What a wild crowd of invisible pleasures!To carry pure death in an earring, a casket,A signet, a fan-mount, a filigree basket!

Soon, at the King’s a mere lozenge to giveAnd Pauline should have just thirty minutes to live!But to light a pastille, and Elise, with her headAnd her breast and her arms and her hands, should drop dead!

Quick–is it finished? The color’s too grim!Why not soft like the phial’s, enticing and dim?Let it brighten her drink, let her turn it and stir,And try it and taste, ere she fix and prefer!

What a drop! She’s not little, no minion like me–That’s why she ensnared him: this never will freeThe soul from those masculine eyes–say “no!”To that pulse’s magnificent come-and-go.

For only last night, as they whispered, I broughtMy own eyes to beat on her so, that I thoughtCould I keep them one half minute fixed, she would fall,Shriveled; she fell not; yet this does it all!

Not that I bid you spare her the pain!Let death be felt and the proof remain;Brand, burn up, bite into its grace–He is sure to remember her dying face!

Is it done? Take my mask off! Nay, be not morose;It kills her, and this prevents seeing it close:The delicate droplet, my whole fortune’s fee–If it hurts her, beside, can it ever hurt me?

Now, take all my jewels, gorge gold to your fill,You may kiss me, old man, on my mouth if you will!But brush this dust off me, lest horror it bringsEre I know it–next moment I dance at the King’s!

My choir in high school also sang a song with the text from “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost, and the song was freaking gorgeous, so that poem’s close to my heart too.

Candlelight: Coffee or tea?Honestly, probably neither. I’d love to like both of them, but no matter how much cream and sugar I put in them, I can’t get past the bitterness. I do like the occasional chai latte, though (they’re like liquefied snickerdoodles!), so both and neither at the same time, I guess.

Princess: Favorite TV show at the moment?I don’t watch TV that much; I don’t have the time to commit to whole seasons of things… I’m not even remotely caught up, but I enjoyed the few episodes I watched of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I also binged the first 10-11 episodes of Switched at Birth the other day, but I’m really only watching it for the ASL. I don’t really like any of the characters, except Daphne and Melody and probably Regina. I want to like Emmett, I really do, but boy needs to get his romantic feelings under control; he can’t keep ping-ponging between Daphne and Bay. That’s gonna end really poorly.EDIT: Can’t believe I forgot these–The West Wing and NCIS are staples in my life. NCIS is just loads of fun, and I love the characters, and I could rant for days about how damn GOOD The West Wing is. It was written by Aaron Sorkin, who’s one of my favorite playwrights (he wrote A Few Good Men, the play the movie’s based on), and it’s just written so damn well. I don’t typically give a shit about the inner workings of the government, but The West Wing makes me give many shits. Many of them. All the characters are intellectual badasses, and I love them all so much.

Sweet Daisies: Do you believe in love at first sight?That’s called infatuation, kiddos, and it’s not healthy for anyone.

Dwarf: Do you enjoy horror films?I’ve never seen any, because I’m only a few years out of spending 95% of my time with my family, and my mom hates horror films with a passion, so we never watched any. I don’t have an interest in that many of them, either, ‘cause I’m a bit of a scaredy-cat (barely made it through Chapter One of Bendy and the Ink Machine; quit five minutes into FNAF 1), but I really wanna watch A Quiet Place, primarily because ASL and partially because my horror-movie-aficionado friends say the atmosphere was like nothing they’ve ever experienced.

Thanks, Al! Sorry about the wall of text, but I’m really glad I got the opportunity to type it all!

[rhouston72]

Redemption - Part 13

It was the day after his little trip to the ALF safehouse and he was back at the Justicar office again. He was searching up the area around the abandoned warehouse the woman told him about, right before he finished her off. He could hear some chatter coming from down the hall near the break room. A couple of Justicars were talking about the attack last night, and what they were saying could only make him smile. “Did you hear? Took all four people down in minutes. Had to be at least two or three guys that did it.” “Nope, just one. Didn’t you hear? When the two surveillance officers went to stop him, he said his name was Vengeance. I think we’ll be seeing more of him.” Matthias kept up that smile. If they only knew… Making his way through the precinct, Matthias taps on the door of the Chief of Detectives, Melisandia Wynen. For a Chief of Detectives, she was pretty wild, with olive complexion and light red hair. Really it was pink, but since pink wasn’t allowed by Department regulations, she called it really light red. Whatever, it’s pink. Heading inside after she called to enter, he promptly sat down in a chair across from her desk, completely missing how her eyes lit up as he entered, then turned to sorrow as she remembered seeing him on the holo. “Matthias I’m glad to see you, though my condolences on the loss of your loved ones.” Matthias swallowed the pain he felt at her mentioning Serena and Anabell. Use it. “Thanks Mel. I’ve actually come to you about that. Do you have any leads on this ALF? Anything that’s not in the reports? I’ve gone over all of them.” And copied them. “I’d like to look into these people further.” And slaughter them all. She came around her desk then, sitting on the edge of it directly in front of Matt. She really liked the Corellian, and she sat there watching him with her striking green eyes. “Matthias, I feel for you, I really do. But let us handle the ALF. If you’re the man I think you are, you’re gonna want to do something about them. Matthias, that’s only going to get you killed.” Well shit, she saw right to what I was doing. Gotta lead her away. “Oh don’t get me wrong Mel, I want to burn the ALF to the ground. But it’s not going to be just me doing it. It’s going to be every Justicar and soldier I can get my hands on. Or if I can’t do it, I’ll pass anything I find out up the chain of command. I’ll be pissed that I’m not involved, but at the same time I’ll be happy that those bastards are all looking at a grave from the wrong side.” She looked at him, those green eyes of hers boring into him, as if looking at his soul. All Matt did was stare back at her, never blinking. Seemingly satisfied, she got up from the edge of the desk and sat back down behind it. “Well there’s not much I know that isn’t in the reports.” She stopped to think for a bit. “Well, one thing that hasn’t been confirmed is an unlikely connection. It seems that the ALF is being funded in part by a crew of thieves that hit banks and other high end establishments. Strange thing is, they slaughter all the guards but don’t hurt any civilians. It doesn’t fit with the ALF’s MO. So I’ve grouped their information over in the Robbery Division. They don’t fall under the purview of the new task force being put together.” Matthias made a mental note to head over to the Robbery Division, see if he could confirm what he had just learned. “I hadn’t heard that. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were working out of some old warehouse in the industrial district. It’s how the did things sometimes on Nar Shaddaa.” Mel raised an eyebrow just then, “Where?” Matt gave her a half hearted smirk. “Someplace far from here. It’s a nest of scum and villainy. Not someplace to take children.” She seemed to smile a bit at the mention of children - not that Matt noticed. He got up at that point. “Well, I’ll stop chewing your ear off for now, thanks for the talk Mel.” She murmured something that sounded like, “You can chew my ear all night…” But she coughed and nodded instead. “Anytime Matthias. My door is always open to you.” He smiled, nodded, and turned to head out. His next stop was the Robbery Division. He made his way through the building from the Headquarters Division over to Robbery. The building here didn’t seem as posh or as well funded as the rest of it. He went over to the Senior Detective’s desk, hoping to get somewhere. He hadn’t met the man before, but he hoped his reputation preceded him. Let my renown be of some damn use for once. He knocked on the office door and let himself in. He was met by a cluttered office and what looked like the remains of too much takeout. The man behind the desk was portly and running to waste, and had his head down doing some paperwork. He spoke to Matt without looking up. “I’m busy, this better be important.” Matt just walked up to the front of the man’s desk. “I don’t mean to bother you Detective, but I was hoping you could help me out.” The man sighed and looked up as he started speaking, “You’ll have to give a statement to one of my… Wait, I know you… Holy shit you’re one of them! The visitors from the other part of the galaxy!” He got up from behind his desk, coming around to shake Matt’s hand. He smiled broadly at Matt, lighting up the man’s blue eyes. “It’s an honor to meet you Captain Jayne, a real honor sir! Are you here by yourself, or are the others with you...the young blond woman, perhaps?” His eyes stole behind Matt, looking to see if he was alone. Fucking pig… He returned the hearty handshake and gave the detective a smile. “Sorry Detective, but I’m here alone. I’ve been following up on some information, hoping to get some more leads, and one of them lead me to you. Tell me more about this group of thieves that have been hitting the high profile targets.” The man withdrew his hand, cutting his smile short. “I can’t divulge information pertaining to any of the cases my men and women are working on. Can’t disrupt their due process and all, in case we get any suspects.” The man’s dodging… Matt sat down in the chair - after he cleared it off - in front of the Detective’s desk. He also saw buried under the refuse the man’s name plate: Thouche Meoni. “Tell me Lieutenant Meoni, how is it you guys haven’t tracked these men down? The Justicars I’ve met aren’t incompetent, and know their jobs. So what gives?” The man sighed, leaning back in his chair and rubbed his face. “What isn’t stopping us? I’ve asked for more manpower, gotten nothing. I’ve actually gotten some of my detectives taken away to other departments. I’ve asked for more money to give to CI’s, nothing. I’ve asked for more technological resources to maybe track the money these guys take. I’ve gotten nothing. And the few times we’ve actually been able to tail them, we always lose them. It’s like they’re ghosts.” Gotta love bureaucracy… “Show me where you’ve lost them at.” The Lieutenant got up and went out of his office. He headed down to a mid size conference room where another detective was doing some paperwork. “Rochefort, give the Captain and I the room please.” She gathered her things and was mumbling a yes sir when she looked up at Matthias. “Holy shit sir… you’re…” Matt cut her off with a raised finger over his lips. “Shhh, Detective. I’m here on the QT. Don’t let others know I’m here, got it?” She nodded and went to move out of the room, but stopped. “I’m sorry for your loss sir. Me and the boys all saw it. We also saw how you handled those scumbags. I hope more of them cross your path sir.” She then ducked out. You have no idea Rochefort, how soon your wish will come true. Turning his attention to the map the detective had up on a whiteboard, he looked at the pins. It showed locations across the city hit by the group. It also showed the three locations where they were lost by the Justicars. “Think I can get a copy of this data? I would like to collate it with some other data I have.” The Detective shook his head. “No way. This is all information pertinent to the case we are building. There’s no way I can let you have a copy of it.” Matthias just shrugged. “Well, that’s fine. I suppose I can just ask Lady Maryell and have it sent to me via official channels. Though she’d probably want to know why you didn’t just help me out…” Let that stew you little worm… The man looked decidedly nervous. He had no way of knowing Matthias didn’t have a pipeline to the Lady, but what he didn’t know could very well be Matthias’ gain. “Alright, alright. I’ll get a copy of it sent to you, that okay?” Matt shook his head. “I need it before I leave today.” The detective just grumbled as he muttered a, “I’ll be right back” and left the room. Matt took the opportunity to pull out his datapad and snap a shot of the map. It’s not that he didn’t trust the Detective, it’s just...yeah he didn’t trust the man. Plain and simple. About ten minutes later, the detective came back with clipboard and a manila envelope that was sealed. “I’m gonna need you to sign this, sir.” It was clear from his tone of voice that he didn’t want to do this. Matt took the clipboard from him and signed it with a flourish. “Thank you Detective, I’ll be seeing myself out now.” As Matt left, the Detective returned to his office, and made a phone call. “Hey, it’s me. This line secure? Good. That offworlder, Jayne, was in here snooping. Yeah, that one that foiled your attack. He forced me to give him information on your group. I fiddled with the info as best I could, but he’s on your trail. Right, got it.”He hung up the phone and reached into his desk, taking out small vial and an injector. He hid his arm below the desk as he injected the stims into his vein and leaned back, feeling them course through his blood. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

Making his way back to the basement apartment where he had so recently started a new life, just to have it torn away from him, he walked in and just stood there. He closed the door, then closed his eyes. He drew in a deep breath through his nose, smelling the scent of the home, the subtle odors of Anabell and Serena. He felt it coming again, the pain, the sorrow. He felt his eyes start to water. Use it. He forced it back down under a simmering fire of anger and rage, forging it with determination into a weapon to use against the ALF and to bring them down. He went to a table he had setup, where he worked on his weapons and what little information he had. He pulled what he had gotten from the Justicar Precinct and sat that on the table. He also pulled out the map the detective gave him, comparing it the image he had captured. He immediately saw the changes and corrected them. You fool. You’re either jealous, or dirty. Pray to whatever Gods you worship that if you are dirty, that I don’t find out. He worked long into the night, triangulating and formulating options. The escape vehicles all seemed to disappear in random locations. It took him awhile, but he eventually decided to compare it to a map of the sewers, and he hit the jackpot. Nearby to where the Justicars reported losing the suspects, were large sewer tunnels, easily big enough to fit a vehicle into. That had to be how they were eluding capture. He yawned, and finally decided to call it a night. He stretched out on the couch, and fell asleep. He’d dream of fire and death - and of large Wroshyr trees.