#it hurt a lot

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Survivor request is for @noire610 - Don't go.

Cere is the first to leave. Cal can barely look at her, his anger, his disappointment, choking him into silence. He finds her in her cabin, packing up her belongings. Well, she’s missing one, and he holds it out to her; her lightsaber hilt, his crystal removed from it.

She takes it, as mute as he is. He’s not sure what the gesture truly means.

It’s yours, it belongs with you, take it back. It feels right.

I can make my own lightsaber. I’ll find my own way without you.

Thank you, Cere, for everything.

Cere shoulders her pack and heads for the exit. Her final words?

“Be safe, all of you.”

Greez sobs.

Merrin returns her well wishes.

BD accepts a final pat on the head.

Cal says nothing.

Don’t go.

He can’t say it. He’s not sure he means it.

(He does. He does mean it. Don’t go, Cere. Don’t leave – )

Merrin is the next to leave. Like Cere, she takes everything she has, packing it all into a backpack she shoulders without complaint. She gives Greez a hug, accepts one from BD, and takes one of Cal’s hands in her own.

“I will see you again,” she tells him.

Don’t go.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice so harsh he’ll be lucky if Merrin ever looks his way again, let alone speaks to him. “Be safe.”

He can sense her need to say more, a need maybe to explain herself, but even if she screamed it directly into his ears, he wouldn’t be able to understand it.

Don’t go.

They drop her off on Ord Mantell. She doesn’t look back, and Cal doesn’t watch her go.

It’s no surprise when Greez says he’s going too, it’s too much for him, he’s lost his touch, literally, and all this flying from one warzone to the next isn’t doing him any good. He tells Cal to leave him on Nar Shaddaa, he’ll figure it out from there, and yeah, kid, the Mantis is yours, take care of her until I ask for her back, because she’s still mine, don’t you forget it, and by the way –

Don’t go.

But Greez goes too. He goes, and then it’s just Cal, BD, and the Mantis. It’s too big for the two of them. It doesn’t matter than Cal can walk around barefoot or leave dirty plates, cups and spoons all over the galley without reprimand. It doesn’t matter that he can leave laundry wherever he wants. It doesn’t matter if he fails to wipe down the decks. Who cares if he takes caf into the cockpit? No one’s there to yell at him.

Don’t go.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t leave me with all your echoes.

Greez in the cockpit, checking landing coordinates.

Cere, reading in the lounge.

Merrin, making potions in the galley.

All three of them, living ghosts all over the ship.

He sits in the pilot’s seat, adjusted for his height and number of arms, staring out at space, BD beside him on the dash. He swallows, throat dry, belly empty because he’s forgotten to eat. He’s forgotten a lot of things, including how long he’s been staring out at the stars.

Alone, again.

Adrift, again.

“BD?”

BD looks over.

“If you’re waiting for the time to tell me you’re going to, this would be it.”

Outraged, BD squawks and launches himself into Cal’s arms. He’s not going anywhere. Where Cal goes, BD goes.

“You’re sure?” Cal hears a crack in his voice.

Sure? Is he sure? BD thumps his head against Cal’s chest.

“Thanks, buddy. For everything.”

BD suggests they get back to the mission, after Cal’s had some dinner.

“You up for it?”

Of course BD’s up for it! “Great, because I know where Saw Gerrera’s at, and he’ll have a mission for us.”

[bluestjayy]

Move complete 😭

[cucarachaisgay07]

I was just minding my own damn business when all of a sudden this guy sitting next to me on the bus grabbed my arm and bited me. HE BITED ME. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THIS GUY LIKE THAT. 😨😨😨😨😭😭😭😭😰😰😰😰😡😡😡😡⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

[rpfisfine]

Also an acorn dropped on my thigh today froma tall as fuck tree and mauled me badly

[0vergrowngraveyard]

rewatching sonic and nine’s first scene together hurts so much in hindsight

“we have a lifetime of adventures and memories together” AAUGH NO

[beanghostprincess]

me: wow i'm so sad today

also me: i'm sure reading a shuggy fic won't hurt at all-

[eldritch-spagettios-on-horseback]

so I had an idea. And it's been at least three months since I decided to post it here so I may as well get on that.

So like

Pokemon mystery dungeon protagonist gets turned into a Zorua (partially for plot reasons and partially because they are my favorite pokemon methinks), and keeps their memories.

Now due to the innate Zorua illusion powers, keeping their memories, and knowing the back of their hand like the back of their hand (heh) (but of course, they know their whole body not just hands)

Well, they just create an illusion of their body by just expecting it to be there before even noticing anything is wrong.

[batter-sempai]

I really want to draw Undertale art but have been struggling with it due to something that happened earlier this year. Something that happened left a bad taste in my mouth towards Undertale and I sometimes still feel hurt about it.

It has nothing to do with the game itself, just something that happened in a group and I still feel the effects of it. I don't want to elaborate on it more here.

It just, really sucks, because I still love Undertale but I struggle to draw it nowadays. Seeing fanart hurts me sometimes too. That's why Undertale fanart from me has been so sparse this year.

[sassytail]

Guess who had a fun little ER trip bc my roommates found me passed out on the floor in the living room.

I’m doing a little better now after an anti-emetic, some pain killers, and some IV fluids.

[teethmeats]

Freshly tattied by tokipar in koiboy’s studio ♡

[sincerityisscarity]

.

[kanna-kizuchi-enjoyer]

my dad was mowing the lawn and a rock shot out of the lawnmower and hit me

[quagsouls]

Thinking about that time i high-fived a hob

[idontknowenglishplzhelpme]

Ok, so, I actually have a lot of experience with this because when I was a kid I could actually feel every single one of my body signals but at some point during puberty it all just went away. I had to relearn a lot of shit but even now I can't feel these things without a lot of effort:

Temperature: I just check If my fingers can move for the cold or if I'm sweating for the heat

Hunger: when I was a kid I was like: "I am a 62% fullnes and will need 3 grams of sugar and at least 400 grams of food at some point in the next 3 and a half hours before I become uncomfortable". Now i just feel 3 things: 1- so full that I feel like about to puke 2- nothing 3- my stomach acid is eating at the walls of my stomach. So now I just eat in a schedule like the article suggests (I recommend it, it's pretty useful in the whole "not fucking dying" business)

Can't feel wind now. I need to look where shit is flying to if I want to know. even if there is enough wind to knock people over I just can't figure it out without visual confirmation

Feelings might be different now? Not sure about this one but it's not something to discuss here

Pain: I can't really explain this one but the way I process pain changed at some point. It just feels different

ramshacklefey talked about the need to go to the bathroom but honestly for me this one has been the same all my life and I don't if it's normal or not I can normally feel it well beforehand but it's extremely easy to ignore. So much so that I do it on accident a lot of times

Those are the ones I can think of that changed at some point and are now probably different to those of a neurotypical person at least based on the people I talked with but I'm not an expert so who knows

For years I would look at posts and questionnaires about neurodivergence that takes about being so focused on something that you forgot to eat and be like, "Couldn't be me. Being hungry is so uncomfortable! Your stomach is growling and cramping? How do you ignore that?"

Then someone informed me that neurotypical people have a whole bunch of "hungry" sensations before they get to that point.....

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[3-lavender]

I cried about him two times today, which is crazy bc I’ve genuinely been feeling way better lately. But then he had to show up and all the feelings came back, especially bc he looked happy. He looked happy and again had absolutely no reaction to seeing me. It was like I wasn’t even there. Like I was less than a ghost.