#it hasnt even been 2 weeks i dont know how ill put up with these dynamics til december

[quodekash]

i once again went to sleep instead of watching an episode but im here for the first vice versa episode now! (and depending on how im feeling, i might watch the second episode when it airs tonight, but no promises)

i love puentalay so much and THEYRE GONNA BE DADS and im also desperately hoping for some aoufuse because i love them so so much and their child who is a dog

aoufuse were parents before puentalay. they adopted a dog together. they beat you, puentalay. hah.

ANYWAY im gonna watch it now, wish me luck, ill probably cry

im also gonna try to not go over the 30 image limit again cos i keep doing that

i love how they put summaries at the start of these as though we havent aggressively rewatched each show in the week preceding the os2 episodes

OH NO IM ALREADY GONNA CRY AND THE ACTUAL EPISODE HASNT EVEN STARTED YET

talay singing happy birthday to puen? this feels familiar. except its actually puen's birthday this time. not pakorn/tun's.

"and as i wished for every year" HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN?????

NOOOO NOT THE DESIGN ON THE CAKE

WHY DOES THIS STUPID LITTLE DESIGN HAVE SUCH AN AFFECT ON ME

IM SOBBING

WAIT WHAT THE HELL WHERE'S TALAY???

WHAT DID THEY DO

WHY WOULD THEY START IT LIKE THAT

i know its gonna be fine, this is gonna be like entirely fluff for two episodes because CHILD and they look really happy in the preview

my prediction is this sadness will last three minutes at the most

but also WHYYYYY

honestly i love this acapella intro song

"Faded Pink?" WHY THE QUESTION MARK

PINK IS LOVE

WHY IS IT FADED

WHY IS THEIR LOVE FADED

AND AGAIN, WHY THE QUESTION MARK

IM SO CONFUSED

STUFF YOU

IDK WHO IM STUFF YOU-ING BUT ITS SOMEONE

"since weve come back to this universe" okAY, COOL, GOOD A SUMMARY

"it's already the fifth year" W H A T

WHAT THE HELL

THEYRE SO OLD

AND ALSO WHAT THE HELL

FIVE YEARS IS SUCH A LONG TIME???

ALSO WHAT WAS THE KID DOING FOR FIVE FREAKING YEARS

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS KID

i know the questions will have answers probably very shortly

BUT THEY DONT HAVE ANSWERS RIGHT NOW AND THE KID IS CONFUSING ME THOROUGHLY

THAT MUCH COFFEE???

bro puen youre so tired. go to sleep. please.

altho i would like to point out the mug that says "the cat's favourite"

does that imply that they have a cat

please answer my questions

"i really want to drink the coffee made by you, talay" dude i know youre deeply in love with him but you need to stop drinking so much coffee and GO TO SLEEP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

TALAY HAS A LITTLE WORK TENT IN THEIR BACKYARD??? THATS SO AWESOME WHAT THE HELL

"it's 9pm already???" is this adhd time blindness i am smelling

or perhaps an autism trait

HJRKDFHJBTF THE CHEEK KISSES

bro what is it with our skyy 2 and birthdays

THEM

I FORGOT THEIR NAMES

BUT I LOVE THEM

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE UP AND AOU

PREEDA AND AOU??

they literally havent said either of their names this entire time

1:27 IN THE MORNING???? JEEEEEEZ

THIS IS SOME KIND OF NEURODIVERGENT TIME BLINDNESS THING, FOR SURE

THIS IS NOT NEUROTYPICAL BEHAVIOUR

looking at talay's phone and im just now realising: how the hell did they unlock their phones in the other universe? they dont know tun and tess' passwords. how could they have gotten into their phones?

there are many things to do with the lore and logistics of the universes that dont make sense and we'll probably never get answers to, but its still fun to wonder and speculate

awwhhhhh poor puen feels unloved and forgotten

akk felt unloved and forgotten because aye had a surprise for him

talay is just neurodivergent and cant figure out time and so he genuinely did forget about it being puen's birthday

BUT NEITHER SITUATION IS BAD

in both situations there is still the love

now i wanna talk about neurodivergence for three hours and justify talay and stuff but i wont because i need to actually watch this episode before it gets too late

why are they being sad and angsty

theyre supposed to be happy and in love and fluffy

"so lets change from a birthday to a hug day" YES PLEASE

I LOVE HUGS

HUG DAY EVERY DAY

GIERKJBDGKJ HE SANG THE OTHER UNIVERSE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG

IM GONNA CRYYYYYY

honestly it rly does feel like its been that long since the show aired

its only been like one year

but it feels like five

but also feels like three months

time is weird i dont like thinking about time

lets stop talking about time

HES GETTING MORE AND MORE AUTISTIC AS THE EPISODE GOES ON

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

i love the concept of hug day

just hug your loved one/s at any random point in the day because ITS HUG DAY

i mean you can also do that any day (as long as theyre fine with hugs ofc)

but i think the hug feels more special on hug day

now i want a hug day

why isnt hug day a thing everywhere

i feel like i could probably talk about hug day for hours

hug day is good

good. good good good. a man of fine taste.

unlike some people (MAITHEE) who DONT LIKE SPAGHETTI because its "too cheesy"????

THEN DONT FREAKING MAKE IT WITH CHEESE???

È SPAGHETTI

FORMAGGIO È NON NECESSARIO PER SPAGHETTI

PERCHÉ??? PERCHÉ SEI IL MODO CHE TU SEI???

mi dispiace, maithee not liking spaghetti because its too cheesy is a cause for anger in the minds of the little italians that live in my brain

anyway. spaghetti is good. its pasta. è un pasta meraviglioso

good job talay

HUG DAY IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY

I LOVE HUG DAY SO MUCH

HIS LITTLE POUT WHAT THE HELL THEYRE SO SOFT IM DYING

"day 2: flirting day" OH MY GOODNESS I NEED THIS

this is what i needed for soundwin after episode 9

anyway

BRO THIS IS THE MOST AUTISTIC FLIRTING IVE EVER SEEN??

huge props to this guy, damn

PUENS LITTLE STICKY NOTES FOR TALAY??? IM SOBBING THIS IS AMAZING

i love that puen's nickname for him is "Lay" its so sweet

this is incredible so far but i have one question: when the hell is the child introduced and also WHY and also HOW

FEEDING DAY??? BROOOOO

THE CHIPS

THE FREAKING CHIPS

HOLY HELL ITS THE CHIPS

IM GETTING INSANE FLASHBACKS

THEYRE BOUTA KISS

PLEASE KISS

come on bro, not again

why do you shower yourselves in chips

you did it with popcorn last time

and then you presumably had to clean it all up

now you have to clean up all the chips

why would you do that

why does he keep doing this

this is a really weird habit of his

puen, you confuse me

"confession day" why is that so funny

massage day, nice

KISSING DAY?? GIERJDBKG

OMG THE SONG

GJKBERDFGKHJ I LOVE THIS SONG

MEMORY DAY??? NOOOO THAT WOULD MAKE ME CRY

THE FREAKING PINK PASTRIES???? BRINGING THE TEARS IMMEDIATELY OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS GRAVY GUSTAV

NOOOO

NOW IM SOBBING EVEN HARDER

its the fact that "memory day" means to both of them the place they fell in love; the universe they dwelt together; the friends they made; the friends theyll never see again; the memories they created together; the lands where they wandered side by side, hand in hand, arm in arm, heart in heart.

im fine.

ooo going out day

THE FREAKING HELMET

IM NOT OKAY

I AM VERY NOT OKAY

HOLDING HANDS DAY???

"honk the horn if you want me to hug you" GHERIUJDFGHKREJBFN

theres too much fluff

too much fluff for my sad little heart

a buttload of fluff for the eclipse, and now a buttload of fluff for vice versa

hey google, how to deal with happiness

theyre so freaking cute what the hell

ooo day 30: surprise day

two things to say about that

1. aye apparently thought it was day 30 on akk's birthday

2. does this mean the child is gonna appear today? is this very un-subtle foreshadowing?

ah shoot puen is ✨choking✨

HES AN ACTOR

I FORGOT THAT HES AN ACTOR

HE WAS BEING OVERDRAMATIC

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I LOVE HIM, BUT STUFF YOU PUEN YOURE SO DRAMATIC

FBOUARDHFGL THE BALLOONS AND THE PINK AND THE THING ON THE WALL AND GJRBDFNGJHRKBGD IM DYING AND CRYING AND FALLING OVER AND FALLING APART

i sense merch

WAIT OMG HE DREW TALAY IN THE WEIRD PICASSO STYLE?? TGJREIDGKN MATCHING PICASSO PORTRAITS IS SOULMATE BEHAVIOUR

OH ITS A WATCH

PROBABLY SO THAT TALAY CAN KEEP TRACK OF TIME SLIGHTLY BETTER

NRJFGBRHDBGF NEURODIVERGENCE

i love them

probably too much

theyre so sweet

OH I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT

that rly shows how observant i am, doesnt it

"but i fell in love with you when you wore glasses" IM GONNA CRY ITS SO SWEET

im rly hoping someone has a full translation of the calendar because its a lovely idea

"thank you for joining me in doing this crazy stuff" bro if im right, its about to get a WHOLE LOT crazier. youre about to have a child.

puen's final surprise: "im pregnant"

DOORBELL

DUN DAHDAH DAAHHHHHH

CHILD.

oh no this child is cute

why must the child be cute

i hate children

its one of my defining personality traits

i despise children

(mostly)

(there are some exceptions)

why must i be immediately attached to the child

"is he another surprise from you" lmao yeah he just popped out a child for this specific day

NO BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT HAPPENED

WHY IS THE CHILD SUDDENLY THERE

IN THE RAIN

WITH A SUITCASE

ITS BEEN 5 YEARS

AND THEYVE NEVER SEEN THE KID

WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE THE KID COME TO THEM

IS THE KID OKAY?

PROBABLY NOT, BUT WHY IS THE KID SMILING SO WIDELY??

THE KID IS SO HAPPY TO SEE PAPA

JIGSAW??? IS THAT THE KIDS NAME?? THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE NAME WHAT THE HELL

jigsaw and his four dads raising him

TUP

THAT'S THE NOT-UP GUY'S NAME

HELLO TUP

tup is also autistic i decided, and i love him

what if jigsaw is from the other universe.

its possible.

IEJRKDGN

WHY MUST I LIKE THE CHILD

IM SUPPOSED TO HATE CHILDREN

THIS IS DESTROYING MY REPUTATION

WELL NOW IM CRYING AGAIN

had to have dinner but im back

anyway WHAT THE HELL WHY MUST PUEN HAVE A SAD BACKSTORY ITS MAKING ME SAD

NOOOOOO

WHY AM I EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE CHILD

I HATE THIS FEELING

THIS FEELING OF KNOWING THAT I WOULD WILLINGLY DIE FOR THIS CHILD'S HAPPINESS AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS CHILD TO JUST BE SAFE AND HAPPY

WHY MUST I FEEL THIS FEELING FOR A TINY HUMAN CHILD

I HATE IT

IM USED TO IT FOR CHARACTERS AND DOGS AND STUFF BUT WHY A CHILD

usually people are like "the feeling of responsibility for someone elses life" like its a good thing and im always like 'um no thanks i dont want to be responsible for that i can barely take care of myself' but now my brain is like LET ME BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CHILD I WILL CARE FOR THIS CHILD AND DO EVERYTHING FOR THIS CHILD i hate this so much

i think its because the child's name is Jigsaw

its entirely bc of the funky name

"you bought a lot of stuff, so you're well-prepared" PUENS LITTLE SHRUG OMG

the shrug says 'what can i say, ive always wanted to be a dad but never wanted to tell you because i didnt know if you wanted that or not'

that could also not be the case, that is entirely possible

but the way puen's been acting since the child appeared makes me think hes either always wanted to be dad (or maybe wanted to be a dad since falling for talay) or the child awakened the dad-need inside him

omg i cant wait for puen's dad jokes

"i think jigsaw fits right into our lives, like a missing piece of us"

i swear if he doesnt say that at some point, im leaving

I KEEP INVOLUNTARILY MAKING NOISES

LIKE THE GOOD NOISES THAT I RESERVE FOR SWEET HAPPY MOMENTS THAT SHOCK ME A LITTLE BIT

kind of like an 'oh' mixed with an 'aw'

why is the oh-aw happening for the child

i dont like this feeling

HE BOUGHT COLOURING INS FOR JIGSAW?? BRO YOU WANNA BE A DAD SO FREAKING BAD WHAT THE HELL

they cant figure out whose kid it is. take the kid for a dna test you idiots

"does this mean jigsaw is my son? ...i dont have any savings. How am i gonna raise him???? i need to call my mum" BROOO HIS DAD INSTINCTS ARE KICKING IN AS WELL, I LOVE THIS

oh my goodness i think i might be dying

these scenes are too cute

theyre raising a child

theyre dads

and the child is DESPICABLY cute

THIS IS TERRIBLE WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME

FJEKBGSUEJB PUEN BEGGING TALAY TO FEED HIM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I LOVE THEM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL

THEYRE SO FREAKING SWEET

side note: both of them have such pretty hair

"PAPA!" "YES?" "YES?" THEY BOTH YELLED YES INSTINCTIVELY THEYRE RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER THEYRE LITERALLY RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER WHAT IN THE HELL

AND TALAY GOT UP SO FAST TO RUN AND HELP HIM

THAT WAS SO FREAKING SWEET IM SO ANGRY ABOUT IT

anyway. see you in like. a few hours. (that is, if i stay up, which i probably will)

[urbfsecretgf]

omg love this fic alr pls keep updating <3

thank y'all for giving me the motivation to write more. here you go :) Pt 4 of: The Boy Next Door

a/n: i didnt think i was gonna continue doing this series but i do appreciate all the people who enjoy it. thank you <3 also idk how well i corrected my spelling errors so my apologies for that.

(everything is made up, arguing, dirty minded things)

________________________________________________________

it was a cold Monday morning and you and jack are standing outside waiting for the bus to arrive at your house.

"its 6:50 the bus should be here already" jack groans

"i know im freezing my ass off its so cold out" you say as you are shivering

the bus finally pulls up to your drive way after what feels like an eternity. you've been at school your new school for about a week now, you know where all your classes were and where your locker was and all of that stuff.

when you get to school the first thing you do is head to your locker and put everything in your locker.

*BZZ*

*New Message From Vinnie <3: y/n where are you???*

you look at it and ignore it. vinnie and you got into a big argument last night and youre still not happy with him.

while putting books in your locker you hear someone start yelling your name

"y/n! has anyone seen y/n? y/n!!"

its vinnie.

"oh gosh" you sigh

"does anyone know where y/n is bro please tell me someone knows"

someone points to where you are, and you try and walk away and pretend not to notice him.

"Y/N!! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU LITERALLY EVERYWHERE!!! OMG!" he says sounding excited that hes found you.

"haha yeah oops. i gotta go uh bye"

you dont really wanna be around him rn. he upset you pretty badly last night

*FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT*

"vinnie you do this literally EVERYTIME!! STOP!"

"no you act like it was bad that i was late i said sorry so its your fault we are arguing right now."

"vinnie i told you if we were late we would miss it. youve been late the past, hmmm, 3 dates? uh yeah i have every right to be upset with you. out of the 5 or so dates you've been on time or early to only 2 and one of those we didnt even get to go to because of the storm. i dont know whats gotten into you recently vinnie but i dont like it so you need to change that or something is going to happen and neither of us are going to like it"

"y/n youre literally overreacting about this. im sorry i was late weve been over this 100 times bro and its just a date we can go on more some other time"

"vinnie you dont understand. those dates mean the world to me. i love going on them with you. i love seeing you all dressed up and coming over so we can go out to a movie or whatever it is we are going to do. they arent 'just dates' to me"

"whatever y/n. this is so stupid. youre freaking out over nothing. ill talk to you later or something idfk"

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"y/n?"

"sorry vin i really gotta go"

"but the bell hasnt even rung yet we still have 8 minutes till class start wym?"

"yep i know bye"

vinnie grabs your arm and gives you a serious look. he knows you hate when he does this look because it makes you feel guilty and like you did something wrong.

"y/n? why are you avoiding me? you didnt answer my texts, you didnt say good morning to me, you hid from me when i was looking for you this morning, whats going on? did something happen? did I do something wrong?"

"vinnie im fine, okay? just leave me alone please."

"im sorry y/n. im sorry about last night and everything i said. i didnt mean it and i dont mean to be late im doing something at home which runs late sometimes and thats why im late. i also dont think to tell you im going to be late either, and im sorry. i really am"

what vinnie says to you makes you tear up a little. you look at him and walk away without saying anything.

"y/n wait! stop y/n come back please"

you love vinnie a lot but he takes it too far sometimes and last night was one of those times. you dont want anything to do with him right now.

________

the bell rings dismissing you for lunch.

"finally" you thought. you were starving.

you go to your locker and grab your lunch. as you were grabbing your lunch box you hear someone crying on the couch in the lounge area.

"i dont know what i did wrong bro. shes been avoiding me all day, she hasnt answered any of my texts ive sent her, and when i apologized to her this morning she walked away. i dont want to loose her bro, it would crush me."

being the curious george you are, you walk over to see who it is, and to your surprise its vinnie, crying, at school, and his friends shoulder.

you decide to walk over to there and you hear his friend austin comforting him

"its okay vinnie, i understand how youre feeling and its normal man. you like her a lot"

"like her a lot??? i dont just like her, im literally in love with her bro."

"vinnie?"

you startled him. he didnt see you there or even notice you were there. he wipes his tears from his face on his sleeve and clears his throat.

"oh hey y/n" he says while still sniffing up his runny nose trying to hide that he was crying

"were you crying?"

"what me? no ofc not"

"i heard you crying vin"

at this point all of his friends left the lounge and let you two be

"nah i wasnt haha"

you knew he was but you decided to let it be.

________

at the end of 4th hour, vinnies friend austin comes over to your locker and tells you what happened

"so he was crying?" you ask

"yeah it was bad, ive never seen him like that before"

"what was it about?"

"did you not hear him?"

"i mean i did kinda but not really"

he looks at you like you're crazy

"y/n he was crying about you. like he literally broke down while sitting on the couch with me and the boys."

hes never cried in front of you before so hearing that he cried in front of other people makes you feel weird. almost a jealous feeling which is weird but you dont really know how to feel.

you brush it off and decide you'll just text him and ask about it later.

________

its now the end of 6th hour, only one more class to go. while walking out of gym class someone runs up to you

"hey, y/n right?"

"um yeah? do i know you?"

it was a guy youve seen around school a few times today. you only have gym class with him but he seems to be pretty well known since everytime youve seen him hes had a big crowd of people around him.

"oh im sorry, im trevor, you can call me trev tho, thats what everyone calls me."

its kinda weird to have a guy come up to you at school. at your old school no one talked to you.

"haha its nice to meet you trev"

"yeah same to you, uh what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"theres no way he flirting with me, i have a boyfriend, everyone knows that right?" you thought to yourself

"oh um probably just homework and studying, why?"

"just wondering, do you need any help with any homework at all?"

"no i dont think so haha."

"alright well if you need any help heres my number."

trevor grabs your hand and writes his number on your hand.

"oh im sorry i-"

*BZZ*

your phone goes off. its a text from vinnie

*New Message From Vinnie <3: meet me by the locker room lovely ;)*

*BZZ*

*New Message From Vinnie <3: Image Recived*

you stare at your phone for a minute, in shock. hes never sent you something like that especially at school.

"y/n? are you okay?" trevor asked seeming a little worried

"HUH? OH YEAH IM GOOD!"

"yeah you seem good now wow."

you decide not to keep vinnie waiting any longer so you decide to end the conversation with trev and go to the locker room "hahahaha yeah okay well i gotta go!"

"alright talk tomorrow?"

"uh maybe" you say as your run off towards the locker room "bye trev'

you get to the locker room and theres vinnie, standing there looking good just like usual

"hey y/n"

"hey vinnie whats this all about?"

"bro im so like... yk.. rn"

"we are at school vin.."

"not even quick?"

not even thinking about it you walk to the family restroom. (and ill let you imagine the rest ;))

________

its the end of the day and the bell rings to dismiss you. trevor stops by your locker and starts a conversation with you.

"hey y/n"

"oh hi trev"

vinnie sees someone at your locker and decides to walk over

"how was your day?"

"it was alri-"

"hey y/n" vinnie interupts, "trevor?"

"vinnie? what are you doing here?'

you can already tell this isnt going to end well so you decide to try and walk away.

vinnie gives trevor a dirty look, "no y/n stay here, dont leave, i wanna know what tf trevor is doing with my girl."

trevor gives the same dirty look he got from vinnie right back to him

"your girl? dont you have like 15 other ones? come on bro, i seen you flirting with bailey like yesterday. you clearly dont care about y/n"

"wait, vin is that true...?" you could never imagine vinnie doing that to you. never. not after what yall have been through, what yall have told eachother, everything.

he looks at you and he can see the sadness on your face, he holds your cheek, "no y/n i love you i would never do something like that to you i promise, go home and we talk about it later after i deal with trev okay?"

youre on the verge of breaking down, your voice is soft, but you manage to say okay.

________

as soon as you get home you run upstairs to your room and throw everything on the floor. you just wanna break down and start baling your eyes out.

you decide to text both trev and vinnie.

*To Trev: hey its y/n did you actually see vinnie flirting with bailey?*

*To Vinnie <3: you didnt actually flirt with bailey did you?*

you set your phone down and just wait. you wait for a response from both vin and trev, wanting answers. you dont wanna believe trevor but you dont know if you can believe vinnie either. youre not trusting either one until you hear both sides of the story in full detail.

*BZZ*

your phone goes off

*New Message from Trev: Yeah I did, yesterday during 2nd hour. They were holding hands, he was hugging her, and that's really all i saw. I'm sorry y/n. You deserve better.*

you burst into tears, how could he do something like that to you?

your little brother jack hears you crying from down the hall and he knocks at your door.

"y/n...? are you okay?

jack and you are really close. you tell eachother everything.

"idk jack."

"did something happen between you and vinnie?"

*BZZ*

"whos that?" jack asked

you look down and see its vinnie

*New Message from Vinnie <3: y/n idk what trevor told you but its not true. he does this all the time to the girls he wants to hookup with. even if it was true i promise you, he wouldnt want anything but your body. i love you more than i love myself y/n. ask austin. i sat on the couch in the lounge today crying about you bc i thought i was going to lose you all bc of the stupid fight we had last night. i love you so much y/n. trevors told me about how hes felt about you from the day you came to school. he told me about how he thinks your hot and about how he could 'steal you away' from me.*

*BZZ*

*New Message from Vinnie <3: y/n i remember our first everything. the first time we met, hung out, hugged, held hands, our first kiss together, first time meeting each others parents, everything y/n. youre the only girl i love. i promise. ill walk over to your house right now if you need me.*

jack was reading the messages from over your shoulder.

"what happened? also invite him over"

after telling jack what happened today you text vinnie and tell him to come over

"jeeze y/n. you got boys fallin harddddddddd" jack says trying to enlighten to mood.

you give him a dirty look and he says sorry.

vinnie knocks on your bedroom door and you go running to him.

"im sorry vinnie, im sorry i didnt believe you. i love you too. way more than you think. i get scared when other people mention you and another girl because as much as i trust you sometimes i feel like you will leave me for someone prettier."

"y/n look at me. i promise you, we are going to get trevor back. im going to do whatever it takes and i have a plan on how we are going to do it."

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[24-guy]

I spent 2 hours on writing notes from the prison podcast stream.

Now I don’t know what to do with them, so I’m putting them here. 

No need to read them, there is just some interesting stuff I noticed, things like tones and how many times somethings are brought up. 

if you do, though, I apologize  for spelling errors. 

start stream

techno "did the calculations" on how long it would take to mine obsidian with the amount of mining fatigue they had. we knoe this is true.

dream has been writing, it is the only thing hes been able to do with the limited items he has. its his "diary"

techno teases over fanfics on wattpad

"the only thing ive written is my diary" do the revive books not count, then? or what is in the revive books that isnt writing?

techno focuses on that nobody is watching - dream doesnt comment on it - dream doesnt know about the voices?

techno is supposed to break dream out, but he hasnt got many ideas "ill get to it later"

techno enjoys prison - sees it as a vacation

techno has an optimistic outlook.

go with the flow

dream sees harming himself as exhillerating techno disaprooves

dream tells techno quackity has been torturing him everyday. techno is only surprised by the every day part

dream mentions the revive book techno remembers being told about that asks "yeah you can bring people back from the dead. yeah so how do you do that" - curious tone, seems genuinely interested for innocent meanings dream responds " i have.. the knowledge and then i get a book and then i burn it" - hesitant at first, then vague but seemingly honest reponse

techno asks what the knowledge is, incantation/password/expelliarmus dream says "something like that" slowly, then quickly says he doesnt know and that he "doesnt know how schlatt had it" - going away from the topic original book - there are more than one it is a book is what youre saying - t well... i mean, it was a book that i memorised and that now i can recreate - d techno tries again to get the knowledge he wants to revive people dream doesnt want to tell techno because he wouldnt be the only one who knew techno tries to bargain saying that if dream died, techno coulld bring him bacl dream knows they wont kill him because he can revive people

dream says no, techno says "you forgot how to write it down didnt you dream says he didnt, that he did it recently, techno repeats again that dream forgot brings up wattpad again. dream says he wrote it down for tommy. he doesnt mention wilbur to techno. bring up the homeless situaation prison is dreams house cell is boiling apparently makes a joke about cali rent prices

nobody visited the cell "we stopped anarcy" "when we get out of here" no though ahead going into this situation (techno) "just as far as i need to" dream doesnt know what techno means by stream schedule, techno jokes about dream's lack of schedual techno usually trains always looking for new combat, reasearching constant arms race no idea when a government will arise or opressing people is always prepared has a good amount of gear he also plays golf somewhere offers a game with dream no way to describe it somewhere farther than his house

dream asks about tommy techno hasnt seen him canonically, only knows he stole acouple months ago - as far as he tells dream

dream asks about carl carl is doing well

dream asks about the family its doing good, apparently, new foxes, got steve who will break him out dream writes about steve "i will write evrrything down because its hard to remember" another fanfic joke

dream asks whos feeding them they feed themselves its probably fine

milld break for 4 wall break

gist or jist

prison podcast offers, agrees that is all this is

technical difficulties

podcast bros

eating potato

dream offers his thoughts on what would happen of he tried to revive somebody who is alive two technoblades human meat sheild

dream wants to try no death first what could go wrong nothing else to do

techno house is man vs nature conflict floor has ants floof brings ants spilled pet food dream has a revivebook techno tries to read it first hit with book a small wait throw into lava DreamXD joins broke the table fixed table a god dream "cloned himsef" god looks exactly like dream feels like a question to ask earlier dream summoned dreamxd ask for wish ask for bell dream gets mad because no escape dreamxd leaves sellout timer goes off techno makes money as dream questions his life dream sits in corner hole techno aims to be annoying we count channel members for a bit

dream and techno friend bonding time?

summons dreamxd for reviving nobody dream writes this in his diary as techno rings bell tries again, it doesnt work creative mode is a known thing by mortals they know how deadly it is

warden on vacation

techno hasnt written anything he has at least 4 books in his inventory, going from the top 2nd space to the top 5th space. the fourth book is called information and is signed by dream. dream throws a potato in the lava techno asks for the revive book again, this time to see of dreamxd will come back because it is a different person summoning him dream says no

techno needs a bell to sell out for the *brand*, ritual and tradition dream put the bell in church prime no twitch primes for dream - hes a heratic (no contract) dream makes no profit dream has lots of raw potatos for 5-6 months

techno asks if dream has any friends dream says not really, they turned against him techno knows the feeling being betrayed by closest friend happens every tuesday for techno

dream mentions being visited by a few people techno asks if any tried not to torture or kill him dream says yeah like he wasnt expecting the question/(as techno put it) "he hesitated"

sapnap - didnt torture or kill him - but he said if dream got out of there, then he would - techno says hes gotta raise his standards

bad - was the best - treated dream the best - techno says hes a cult leader - dream is surprised so techno tells him about the egg - techno wasnt clear - bad hasnt viseted since 4-5 months ago - techno says even he has friends - egg was attacked - big crossover episode not clear what is going on

techno - last time they saw each other was dooms day - been a while - lot has happened - techno doesnt now whats going on currently on the server - he knows nothing - "people" tell him who died and who came back

tubbo - asks about tubbo - tubbo is chillng - snowchester named - commune - a little sus - dictator - no rushing to conclusions - tubbo has nukes - big crater - a hoby - could be meteor

ranboo - asks about ranboo - ranboo is also chilling - brings up tubo's nukes now

dream points out that techno said he didnt know anyting and then said about a new place, nukes, and a lot more dream doesnt know anything - less than techno

ranboo (again) - dream says he used to visit a while ago and then stopped coming - techno asks "ranboo used to visit?" - ranboo visited "a bit" - probably visited the most - sapnap visited - tommy visited a couple of times - bad visited - and quackity - quackity visited the most, only because hes visited daily

more potatos pog potatos

ranboo (x3) - techno asks how dream knows ranboo - "um... its just a.. long story" - techno replies sarcastically about how they dont have any time to go through it, theyre so busy with the bell - dream "i dont know him very well. he just visited a few times and that was it." - techno just repeats alright, its either bored or thinking - dream "and then i havent seen him since then so thats why i was wondering where hes been, if hes been around" - techno " ah... im not sure. i havent been around fpr like the past couple of months, honestly."

techno went on  atraining montage, played golf

dream asks about the plan to get out mining fatigue 3 doesnt mean they cant break blocks, its just approximately 370 times longer breaking obsidian takes a bit over 4 minutes math = obsidian block gone in 25.7 hours. an alarm break in the right spot break block in toilet elder guardian below the cell techno can take him if techno somehow dies dream brings him back could be out in 2 weeks havent been visited for 2 weeks nothing to lose dream has to break obsidian techno wants to end stream techno came up with idea so dream has to do it dream starts bell ringing for cheerng him on techno sounds happy that dream is doing it voices are mentioned - theyre laughing techno has perfect track of time techno is gonna annoy dream the entire time techno is a lookout there are only 4 books we only see the 4th name floof interrupts momentarily tommy killed a cat because dream liked it 300 dogs in the cell joke

channel member bell dream regrets his life again techo's plan? bell was a better investment dream has 10 bells in e chest techno doesnt techno wanted to go for more so techno could ring bell again

end of stream

[wearethewinx]

fate episode 6 spoilers below

admittedly that opening shot slaps. like that immediately makes me curious

bloom why are you looking. everywhere but at the glowing pillar in front of you

LOL WHOOPS

AISHA ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. WRITERS ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. THIS IS NOT MY GIRL

lol dowling thats what happens when u liiieeeeee

jfdlsfjlds terras dad being so stumped by her completely correct rebuttal that he just says 'you need to cool down'

'sorry you have to be visible to have a point of view' that line really made it into the script huh

theyre REALLY gonna make aishas first and only autonomous act in this entire show be to snitch on her friends

oh so there are witches huh. is that how were doing this huh. oh my god this is so unnecessarily complicated and confusing? this is. ridiculous? why wouldnt anyone else know about the witches? how does them being witches give rosalind the right to murder them all? HOW IS BLOOM OK WITH THIS LADY JUST SAYING 'yeah i lied and killed them all because only fairies are allowed to do magic' HWAT THE FUCK

*sky voice* i am literally so fucking stupid and boring its unreal

lol even sam is like 'terra shut up'

see i dont wanna be so mean to terra but shes explicitly written to be as annoying as humanly possible? people keep telling her theyre not interested and she just mows right over them completely not caring EVERY time

oh bloom is growing a braincell now huh

'only vanessa and michael could give you love' YOU CALL THAT LOVE? YOU CALL THAT SHIT LOVE? WHERE ARE THE WRITERS ILL FUCKING KILL THEM

me, every time: weve gotta be getting close to the end now right weve been here at least forty minutes

the timestamp, every time: 21:30

HOW is it possible for a show to drag this much? six hours feels like 18

nobody told the caption writer that rivens name is riven not 'riv'

stella being like 'WE shouldve never gotten back together WE are codependent and toxic' gurl,,,,,,,, You

rly have to stress that bloom listened to rosalind talk and was like 'oh genocide? well thats totally understandable, i trust you implicitly. here i was thinking you were just a regular mass murderer!'

WHY ARE THERE NO MAGIC PAINKILLERS. WHY IS THE ONLY WAY TO EASE SOMEONES PAIN FOR MUSA SPECIFICALLY TO TAKE IT ON

ALSO TERRA FUCK. YOU. FOR EVEN THINKING THAT, MUCH LESS SAYING IT OUT LOUD

how does the solarian royal family have a magic teleportation ring but they cant move troops across their country in less than 2 days

*bloom voice* come on sluts im gonna put you all in danger

PLEASE let sky miserably wail 'YOU KILLED MY FATHER' please god let it happen PLEASE

damn ok i actually REALLY like skys reaction here. unironically well written, very believable. even a stopped brain has good ideas twice an episode i suppose

love that musa only gets dignified with the slightest sliver of backstory in this, the final episode

STILL only HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE. THIS IS SICK TIME DILATION FUCKERY

flora isnt supposed to be the loose canon of the winx for fucks sake

ok but WHAT ARE THE BURNED ONES. WHERE ARE THEY FROM. WHY DO THEY CARE ABOUT BLOOM. EVEN SHE HASNT ASKED YET! ARENT YOU CURIOUS ISNT ANYBODY CURIOUS

bloom: yeah rosalind unleashed the burned ones to attack us all but i totally trust that she told me the truth about how to stop them

blooms wings look FUCKING STUPID those arent even wings theyre just random red blobs with a mesh pattern

i guess im glad we actually GOT wings but my god is this a disappointment as wings go

also @ everyone in the tag calling this a 'transformation': are we watching the same fucking show lol. having fire swirl around you isnt a transformation. TRANSFORMING. is what makes it a transformation. absolutely nothing changes about her except having a couple blowtorches on her back

CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT BLOOM KEEPS HEARING PEOPLE ADMIT TO MURDER AND RESPONDING WITH 'OH it was just MURDER lol thank god'

'bloom transformed' nO SHE DIDNT THAT WASNT A TRANSFORMATION OH MY GOD

ok but why WOULDNT rosalind reveal exculpatory information when it benefited her lol. why are you idiots believing her. why are you accepting that as a justification

'ive been a brat' OH SO YOU ADMIT IT

'can we hug' very normal request bloom especially considering the circumstances /s

my mom would flip her lid if i invited four friends over w/o asking in advance and then put her on the spot abt whether they can stay the night, and thats WITHOUT the added context that BLOOMS MOM THINKS THESE ARE HER SCHOOL FRIENDS FROM S W I T Z E R L A N D AND THAT THEY WOULDVE HAD TO FLY ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET THERE

this bloom family montage is 1: unearned (i remember the door, assholes) and 2: TOO long and cheesy

i love that stellas mom still hasnt admitted shes missing or come looking for her lol. the HEIR to the THRONE has been MISSING for WEEKS and thats just Okay

lmao what the fuck. how is andreas wearing the same clothes as 16 years ago. anybody care to explain what the goddamn hell is going on here

dragonflame namedrop huh? interesting

LOL EVERYONES JUST ACCEPTING ROSALIND BACK WITHOUT QUESTION? SHE DISAPPEARED AND WAS PRESUMED DEAD FOR 16 YEARS

HOW STUPID ARE THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

THE KING OF ERAKLYON. ABANDONED HIS SON. TO RAISE BEATRIX

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL

omg she just fucking killed her

absolutely metal

ah HERE are the hideous outfits from the promo image. hate

final thoughts: this show is dumb

[drkcnry67]

join me?

title: join me?

pairing: Jared x reader

rating: 18+

fluff: single parent AU

kink: shower sex

tags: shower sex, single parent x single nanny, vaginal penetration, climax, asking someone you know to become your partner in raising your child

summery: not telling

mentioning @sweetness47​

created for @spnfluffbingo​ @spnkinkbingo​

kink list   fluff list

the following AD you had placed on all the job boards:

“if you are a Single parent in need of someone to move in to help look after your kids, clean, cook for you Im that person. obviously i can cook, clean, drive, shop for groceries you know the esentials. basically anything you would require of me i can accomplish. call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, to discuss details. sincerely YN. PS im willing to relocate if needbe. thank you for reading this.”

just like that it was done, it was posted. now, all you had to do was wait. someone was bound to call eventually. 

after 3 weeks you were about to re-post the ad, your phone rang. someone from san Antonio, as far as you were concerned you knew of no one who lived in that corner of the world. 

you took a chance and answered the call. 

YN: hello!

Jared: yes, im looking for YN

YN: thats me

Jared: perfect, my name is Jared Padalecki. i’m a single father to a 4 year old boy named Thomas. he’s my mess maker & i love him to bits. but balancing between work and parenting is alot harder than most people think. my wife had divorced me she felt like i didnt care enough about her or the foundation she built, so one night she walked out and i havent seen her since. so anyway i was looking through the ads for live in nanny when i came across yours. your ad drew me to it, im sorry if this sounds too forward but its been hard. 

YN: not at all. so what are the terms of this job?

Jared: well, as we speak im just finishing the details of your flight to San Antonio which first of all i need your current location like where you are coming from and how much baggage you are bringing. 

YN: thats very kind of you to book me a flight. im coming from San Francisco with 3 suitcases and 2 carry ons. most of it are small keepsakes and other sich clothing items i pick up along the way. but not a big deal i just dont have a permenant home to leave anything at. so if you dont mind me coming with all my little nik naks and figurines...

Jared chuckled in the background before he spoke.

Jared: girl, i think we can deal with that. ill buy some wall shelves and a special case for your statues and figures, with enough room that should you want more you can get more. There will be a vehicle you can use to transport my son to school and do errands and stuff like that, there will be a spare room included for you with your own bathroom. The shopping can be done by you after you drop my son off to school on a day of your choosing. If you like all that your duties do not include yard maintenence. You are free to take my son out for shopping trips as well, you get a shared card to my all expense account to do all your spending for the house and for yourself. It goes straight to my account it's all good. I want your time here to be awesome.

YN: this is my cell, please tell me you have some good news about my flight details. 

Jared: check your texts. 

You check your messages before you go back to the call.

YN: thats a good flight, so what kind of plans are for when i get there. 

Jared: well if you want we can go get the groceries when you arrive, after we leave the airport. then we can go for lunch and get you a few pretty things. sign some bank papers to put your name in my accounts. 

Yn: that sounds good, I've just sent notice to my landlord, I'm just packing up some of my figures now. I'm gonna have to get my license and stuff switched over to Texas state license but I'm excited for this.

Jared: i know as am i its been a while since we had any type of female presence in the house. we havent any such thing, but tomorrow that all changes. i know that you are gonna bring a light into our lives that hasnt been here in well ever. 

YN: glad i can help, now lets see whats the day tomorrow yields. 

Jared: i am so excited, so is my son. he keeps asking when you are gonna be here. but it is gonna be a happy day tomorrow. i know that this is gonna sound strange, but i hope your the one that can save me.

you heard his tone change instantly, you felt the power coming from it. you felt the wet in your panties. you were not okay in the slightest. but you felt amazing at the same time. 

YN: i guess ill let you go. ill shoot you a text when i get to the airport. cause i want to help you. i want to be the one to save you. 

neither of you knew what the hell just happened, neither of you would remember what was said, at the end of it neither of you would be able to state the words of the other. it will remain that way till a different day in the near off future. 

Jared: ill see you tomorrow... YN.

YN: jared.

the call ended, it was the moment when you felt like you could breathe again. the moment when you felt as though it would be your last. the moment when you felt like you were on cloud 9. 

you went to the cornerstore to get a few travel items. a few other things as well. a lot of times before you travel you do this kind of big shop, but this time was not like most times. Jared was providing everything for you, you had to bring you and what you currently owned, as well as your documents and stuff like that. 

after cleaning most of what you could in the apartment, you set your alarm and went to bed. you woke up to your 6:00am alarm. it was a long time but you were also a good half hour to the airport. you wanted plenty of time for check in and travel distance. 

finishing packing, leaving your keys to the apartment in the hands of your landlord who helped you bring your bags out the front door. she wished you a safe trip and to call if you were ever in the area again. 

you brought your bags to the cab and got in. you told the driver to take you to the airport. upon arrival at the airport, the cab driver helped you load your bags onto a cart and drove off.  you pushed the cart into the airport, went to the check in desk. 

check in lady: may i see your ticket and passport please?

You hand over your ticket and passsport. the lady scans your ticket and hands both your passport and ticket back to you. 

check in lady: alright your good to go, the gift shop is open if you want to stop there, its just on your left passed security.

Yn: do I give you my suitcases! Well at least the ones that aren't carry ons.

Check in lady ushers for a security guard to come round to take the 3 suitcases from you. To which you smile and thank them and head off to go through security.

Security guard: please put all your bags in a bin, your jacket and shoes as well as your jewelry in this bin and then you can stand on this square we will bring you through and go from there.

you did as asked. you complied you went to stand on the square, were waved through, the thing didnt beep but you were still patted down and then given your stuff back.  sent on your merry way, you were happily walking through the airport again. 

you went to the gift shop, you were buying a few puzzle books to keep you entertained on the flight. as well as a dress off the rack and some playing cards (one of each type), and some statues. these ones were small but made you smile.

you paid for everything and then went to the bathroom to change and organize your bags. you come out of the bathroom, your hair is up in a ponytail. you go take a seat holding your passport and ticket. 

after half hour of sitting there, your flight number was called. You pulled out your phone, texting Jared.

Yn (by text): morning, I am about to board my flight

Jared (by text): morning, I hope you have a safe flight, Thom and i cant wait to see you. Thom made you a sign we will be holding it, you have my word and honor that we will be good, we will all get along quite good. 

YN (by text): of course, as do i. i look forward to getting to San Antonio and beginning a new life. the pre flight is starting ill let you know when i land. 

Jared (by text): have a safe flight. see you in a few hours. i gotta bathe the kiddo. 

The pre flight took a bit longer than you thought it would, but Jared's message was one you ended up saving as a screenshot. You listened to your music when the flight attendant said we were free to use the screens ahead of us and whatever else. 

You even did some puzzle books and wrote in your journal. 

You were nervous, of course you were nervous. This was the first time you were gonna meet a single dad and a son. Thoughts of what they might look like floated through your mind. The thoughts of the life you were stepping into were beyond what your mind could conjour. 

But the way he spoke to you said something about saving you, made you wonder if something more was happening to him. 

Something maybe in his past that might be coming after him now. There was a darkness in his voice that you couldn't shake. 

But you shoke it off, you were not gonna let these thoughts consume you. You waited for the hours to pass, and they did rather quickly. 

For what was once 30 mins that had passed, became an hour and a half. You were almost there. 8 am quickly turned into 1030am there was still half hour to go. 

This was it the landing checks the whole pack up whatever you took out, close the trays un recline your seats, take out and shut off your music speech came quickly. You put away the books and things, you held your phone in one hand using the other to get up form your seat. You followed the people out of the plane. 

You walked out onto the concourse and made sure you were lookin good before you stepped onto the escalator. 

Jared was watching, but when his eyes landed on you coming toward him he smiled. He couldn't help himself. A little voice in his head told him not to smile, but to jump you instead. Jared ignored that voice for he didn't want to do anything harmful with Thom around. Even then he wouldn't. he instead watched you walk toward him. 

Jared: YN.

YN: you must be Jared. It is a pleasure to meet you. 

You both shake hands but a spark flows between both of your hands. Before you place your bags on the ground and look at Thom. 

YN: you must be the little cutie. Did you make this sign all by yourself?

Thom nods and gives you a hug which you graciously return. You were feeling happy. 

Jared: i think we should go wait by the luggage bay so we can grab your luggage. Then we can head off for lunch and shopping and paper filling. 

YN: the luggage should have started coming out by now anyway right?

Jared: possibly. But i want to hear more about you, your adventures and can i just say that dress is delectable. 

There it was again, that deep dark tone to his voice. He now held his hand out for your bags as Thom was urging for you to carry him. Jared carried your carry ons, you carried Thom who just smiled happily. 

Jared: ive never seen Thom take kindly to anyone before. This is gonna work out just fine. 

YN: thom is so sweet, i look forward to working with him on a daily basis. I also look forward to helping you with the house. 

You smiled as thom came up to you and sat in your lap. Jared just watched amazed by your skill with kids. 

As the luggage came round you pointed out your suitcases to Jared who grabbed them placing them on the cart. 

You held thom who just contently hugged you. He nestled himself against the crook of your neck, soft snores filled yours and Jared's ears shortly after. 

Jared: he barely slept last night he was too excited. I'm not surprised that he is sleeping now. 

Jared says as you all walk to the car, Jared with the luggage cart, you holding thom. You gently placed thom in the car, you watch Jared place the luggage in the trunk. 

Jared: and you are the miracle worker, he is asleep. He will sleep till we wake him for lunch. He will also hopefully sleep through the bank and licencing appointments. 

Before he could say another word you went over and gave him a kiss to his cheek. The air between you both was growing thin. 

This would have been your first kiss if not for the fact that jared’s watch went off. 

Jared: we have to be at the bank in half an hour. Which is perfect but first i want to try something. Just dont move.

You didnt move you stood there as Jared slid his hand around your waist. And placed a soft kiss to your neck. Then moved to whisper in your ear. 

Jared: a little bit of food for thought. The darkness is growing inside me and i swear i will hold it back as long as i can. But you need to understand you are the only one who can stop the darkness. 

You went round to your side of the vehicle. Feeling a little flustered. Jared was behind you, you turned to see him, his eyes starring at you. His hand on your own, you feel a spark, you feel that same spark that you both had felt back in the airport, when you first met. 

The ride to the bank was good, you and jared talked and went over a list for shopping and made a list of things to do when you arrived to Jared’s home. You were done the bank & licensing appointments.

 Deciding that it would be easier pick up take out for lunch as Thom was still sleeping. Like he was out like a light. You guys were able to quickly go in follow the list and get everything on the list. Finally on the road with lunch and heading home to Jareds. 

YN: so i guess i will need to set up some stuff and unpack. 

Jared: ill even help you set up and build the shelving and things. Believe me your suite is gonna be your style when we are through with it. We are almost there. Then we will get you settled. And its still early in the day. 

YN: lets hope that we can get a majority of this done before thom wakes up. 

Jared: or at least un pack the car or have the lawn care people help with that as well. Ill just pay them extra for it.  

Within a few moments after that you guys pull dup to a gate, where Jared used a key card to open it. 

Jared: welcome to your new home YN! 

From that point in the day you and Jared and thom spent it getting acquainted, you did some schooling with thom, jaredd helped you set up your suite, Jared and you celebrated with a glass of wine each before bed from then on.  More little moments were stollen like the one that happened in the airport. 

Something worse would be a drift in the near future. you didnt know what but you had a feeling that something would come to light that you would never expect in a million years. 

~its now been 8 months and 12 days since you came to live with Jared and Thom. you settled in quite nicely. you drove back and forth to get thom to and from school, you cooked, cleaned and you happily did all the laundry. now we start our story again on the last day of school, with you just having picked up Thom from school and are in the car driving back home~

you had just gotten on the freeway Thom had passed out a while back for his afternoon nap. you were just happy for a small moment of peace and quiet. but your bluetooth came through the car at a volume that thankfully didnt wake Thom. 

you saw it was Jared so obviously you answered. 

Jared: hey hows it going?

Yn: good, thom is having a nap, im just on the freeway. how was work?

Jared: good, i couldnt wait for the day to be over. i have a surprise for you. 

YN: for me or for me and thom or for all 3 of us

Jared: call it a family surprise. 

YN: wait im part of the family. none of my jobs previously had ever considered me part of the family. its nice to finally be included in an actual family. 

you could hear jared chuckle before he continued to speak. 

Jared: i know you are new to the whole permenant family thing, and we are always gonna have a home here for you. but i want to celebrate the start of summer with a tradition. 

YN: something new or something old?

Jared: a new tradition one that starts as soon as you guys get home... 

YN: and will i need to pack a bag?

Jared: yes although i had my assistant at work go out and buy you a few new things for this trip today, so how long till you guys get home... 

suddenly thom pipes up from the background. 

thom: hi daddy.

Jared: hey little man, ive got a surprise for you when you and YN get home. 

YN: we will see you in 10 minutes jared. 

Jared: see you in the driveway 

the call ended and you handed thom a sucker from your center console. he smiled and giggled all the rest of the way home. you pulled into the driveway parking in your normal spot. 

Jared comes round to bring thom out first, after spinning him around before setting him down on the ground, he comes round to your side. he opens the door and extends his hand to you. 

he helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door. where you all enter before Jared send thom up to his room to get ready. guess he had told thom the secret before he told you, but you were now standing in the living room with Jared who turns to you.

YN: what is the big surprise, i assume you told Thom and thats why he ran upstairs all excited. 

Jared: i bought us a vacation house about 2 months ago. it is all season, and we get to go there and spend these next 6 weeks there. its in canyon lake about 2 hours by car. thom will probably sleep at least part of the way there. but YN i want you to know that i have a secret one that has me flustered enough to internally keep it from you for he is the glue that holds us together. but i wonder if perhaps we as in us 2 have a few things we can be together. 

before you could respond Jared leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, for those 2 seconds it was like heaven had shot you with an arrow.

Jared pulled back and began to walk toward the kitchen to pack some trip snacks and drinks. but before leaving you alone in the living room he spoke.

Jared: ill leave you with that food for thought for it will be something to definately make conversation about later.

That kiss, your only real first kiss. Made you extremely excited. But the drive the 2 hour drive had you all hot and bothered. you went to pack your stuff in your bag. well at least thats what you thought, when you got to your room, you saw a suitcase, one filled with yours and Jareds stuff. maybe you guys were traveling light or there was already stuff out there for you guys.

you packed your journals, some games and a few books and of course a deck of cards in your backpack. you wheeled the suitcase out of the suite while carrying the backpack. then you went back in to put your hair back.

you heard someone calling your name. you answered the call and heard footsteps coming to your room. you turned to see Jared standing there, like nothing had happened downstairs.

Jared: are we almost ready to go?

YN: almost. just gonna get into something a bit more vacay less public appearance. meet you down in 2... 

Jared: wear something sexy. i guarantee that you will be the hottest thing in the car. and you can pick the music. 

you grabbed something out of the closet and took it into the bathroom. you came out to see Jared standing not  facing you. till you would speak woulkd be when he would know you were there.

YN: does that mean we are bluetoothing it all the way there.

Jared: got the wireless charging pad installed and all ready to go. plus i hooked your phone to the bluetooth already. now when you are ready we will head out.

YN: i know. jared are we gonna discuss what happened between us downstairs?

Jared: that kind of talk is better suited for vacation. 

thom is waiting by the door, you and jared bring down the last of the stuff. thom just as excited about this vacation as any little child should be. everything was loaded in the car, you went to lock the house and set the alarm. but before setting the alarm, you said the one word that you were sure might confirm your suspicions. 

YN: christo!

the cross on the wall near by turned upside down. you finished setting the alarm after salting the doors and windows. only hoping that this would be easy, but now you were certain that you had figured out the darkness that Jared kept mentioning. 

you went to the car, sitting down you nodded at Jared to start driving. and it was declared right then and there that you all were officially on vacation. Thom sat quietly and eventually passed out. your music playing in the background, Jared realizing that Thom had fallen asleep moved his hand to rest on your thigh.

this made you look at him, the darkness in his eyes faded when you placed your hand on his. the darkness that starred at you, the way his hand tightened on your thigh. you were the luckiest girl in the world. you hoped that this vacay would yield the answers you hoped you didnt need. 

over the last little while you had done research on what you thought might be the darkness latched to Jared. after what happened in the house before you left with the cross. you were certain. Jared was possessed. and you had to stop this thing from doing something he would regret. 

your mind circled with those thoughts, but a voice brought you out of your own mind.

Jared: you have been quiet, is everythign alright?

YN: yes everything is fine. just going over the list and making sure we dont need to have the lawn people do any extra tasks while we are gone.

jared: why do you think we forgot something?

YN: its just a feeling. but its nothing to worry about. now when we get there i assume that we are gonne have a tour and a chance to unpack before we decide our first vacation activity.

Jared: i also hope you dont mind sharing a room with me. its a little 5 bedroom cottage but the 3rd, 4th and 5th rooms are supposed to be guest rooms. they only has a cot and no closet. we are just waiting on a few parts to be reno’d in there. 

YN: i think i can live with this arrangement. thom i assume is gonna be in a room close by.

Jared: yep he is at one end of the hall we are at the other. you know when i called you all those months ago, asking you to fly out here to help me, i was ready to give up on finding someone to help me take care of the house and Thom. but your ad made me have hope that maybe you would be the one that would save me.

YN: i think i know what darkness follows you but i wont know forsure until i can run a test. 

Jared: what kind of test

YN: one that would need to be done when Thom is asleep. one that i hope will either prove me right or prove me a liar. that is if your willing to try.

Jared: im willing to try anything.

YN: well then we will try it tonight after Thom goes to bed. 

neither of you had realized how much time had passed, then you saw a sign. Jared smiled.

Jared: we are close now.

YN: that sign that i just saw is that where we are going?

Jared: yep. once you se the place you will understand why i got it. and i sound proofed the master, just in case...

he winked at you as he slowed down at the edge of a driveway. he then guided your gaze to look ahead at the cottage that now stod before you.

Thom woke up shortly after you had pulled him out of the car. he rubbed his eyes and smiled as he ran toward the house, screaming happily as he approached the steps. where he waited for you and Jared. 

you both brought what you could while still having hands to open the door and help Thom up the stairs. jared unlocked the door allowing you and thom to walk through first. your eyes went wide at the first glance of your home away from home with Jared and Thom. 

this was gonna be an amazing vacation. you put down what you carried, as well as let go of Thom who was running around looking at everything. you spun round and somehow landed in the arms of Jared.

Jared: what do you think?

YN: what do i think.. this is amazing. i love this. this is incredible. i wouldnt trade this vacation for anything. honestly i would rather be no where else. im quite happy here. 

Jared: as in this home or my arms.

YN: both. jared, i i... 

just as your about to speak again. you and jared are interrupted by thom coming out of a nearby room half dressed. 

Thom: daddy, YN can we go swimming now...

jared set you back on your feet and you both laughed. 

Jared: in a few moments bud we gotta find the swim suits first. 

as Jared said that the attendants brought up the luggage. you looked at Jared who just smiled and whispered in your ear.

Jared: you have the summer off to relax for 6 weeks. just be normal with me and Thom. these next hours could prove several things for us. starting with lets take Thom swimming and then go from there. we will hopefully eat when we return. the attendants are already preparing supper. 

you could do nothing except smile. it was already turning into a really steamy vacay. you went to where you saw jared going through your shared suitcase. first chance you got you grabbed your bikini and cover.

you went into the nearby spare room closing the door behind you. you get changed, you could hear Jared ask one of the attendants to take Thom to find him a life jacket from the boat house. then you heard silence. 

then you heard the sound of the door knob turning, you were only half done tying your bikini. when Jared walked in shirtless and wearing his swim trunks. 

Jared: need help?

you froze in place at his words it was like your actions were not your own. it was a few seconds after that you felt his hands around your waist sliding slowly up your back.

Jared: i wish we had this place to ourselves. we would not be leaving that master suite for a while. 

YN: i wish Thom was asleep so i could take away your darkness. 

Jared: so you know what it is...

YN: yes and i need you alone when i take away the darkness, Thom would be in too much danger. dont worry you will be darkness free soon. you will be back in the light and free to live your live happy with me and Thom. im not gonna let this darkness ruin your life any longer. tonight it gets banished.

Jared: just gotta tire Thom out enough that he will sleep tonight. 

YN: well then lets not keep him waiting any longer. 

you and jared walk outside and down the path to the lake. you were amazed at the wonder and beauty before you. bout halfway to the lake, you were pressed against the back side of a nearby tree. Jared’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, the feeling of your body beneath his hands had him hard, you could feel it against your lower back. 

Jared: once Thom is gone to bed, I'm gonna make Jared watch through his own eyes as I fuck you into next week. Jared will never inhabit his body again.

You struggled slightly before speaking.

YN: i address the entity within, who are you?

Jared’s form just smiled evily at you, his hands still freely roaming your body. 

YN: well you should also know that you wont live long enough to fuck me into next week. im gonna expell you from Jared’s body and send you back where you came from. now i command thee for all that light brings give me Jared back immediately.

once you finished speaking Jared’s body fell to his knees, you kneel down to only be hugged by Jared.

Jared: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

YN: don't worry, just calm down. That demon is gonna be gone when I do the ritual. Take a few moments to breathe, I'm gonna go sit on the dock where the attendant is in the shallows with thom. Just take your time.

You placed a kiss to his cheek, then walked the rest of the way to the lake. Upon arrival at the lake, you watched the attendant and Thom, playing in the shallow water.

Attendant: miss YN. Where is Master Jared?

YN: he will be along shortly he just wanted to check his messages make sure everything is running smoothly.

Attendant: then I shall stay down here with you both till he arrives. How do you like the place Miss?

Yn: it's gorgeous. I love it. I have never been invited to go on any type of vacation. Not even in my own family. So this was a really awesome surprise.

Attendant: that is so sad... Well to many more times like this then. Thom here is a amazing little kiddo, you have been working so hard master Jared just wanted to give you a vacation you wouldn't soon forget.

Thom meanwhile was just enjoying the water, his expression had a huge smile on it. He was wet head to toe and absolutely having fun!

You kept waiting on the dock for Jared to approach and for 10 min he didn't till you, looked and saw his form approach.

you sat on the dock and felt him slide down behind you, his legs are on either side of yours, his arms round your waist. you both sat there enjoying the view while Thom played with the attendant in the water below. neither you nor Jared felt like moving knowing that in a few hours you both would be expelling the demonic force that lay now dormant inside Jared. 

Jared: do you know what is better than sitting here on the dock.

YN: what

Jared: sitting on the dock with you surrounded by nature, this will be the best vacation ever once we get rid of the demon.

~time skip to a few hours later. after some swimming you all went back to the house for dinner. after dinner you guys played a game or 2 with Thom who then went with one of the attendants and had a bath, then it was time to put him to sleep. you and Jared read him a story, then he fell fast asleep. for he truely was tuckered out, you and Jared dismissed the attendants and locked the doors for the evening. you both went to the master suite as we return to the story.~

YN: i need to set something up first can you wait like 5 minutes before you enter the bathroom. oh and dont plan on showering in your trunks, and bring towels with you. i have a feeling like we will need them when we are done. 

Jared: ill see you in there.

you walk towards the bathroom, holding the prayer beeds in one hand and un doing your bikini in the other. you placed the bikini on the ground and set your phone on the counter. 

YN:  Exorcizo te, creatura aquae. In nomine dei patris omnipotentis et in virtute spiritus sancti.

you finished the incantation and placed the rosery on the shower head so it lands in the water. then you took one look out the window and just let the water run over your body. 

Jared walks in with nothing on he places the towels on the counter, you see him out of the corner of your eye.

Yn: join me?

Jared didn't need an invitation he was already climbing in behind you. For he knew that this was the only way to expell the demon.

You turned around and now faced him, you looked up at him holding his gaze you move him round so he is under the water.

His body starts shaking that's when you spoke again.

Yn: please let this work...

You had him lift you up so he was holding you as you slid down onto his cock, and spoke the incantation that hopefully would save his life. In other words bring his light fuller to push away the darkness.

Also there was a Devils trap in the floor where jard was standing you had the attendantz draw one, for the demon to be sent straight back to hell. With a clear voice the following words were spoken by you.

Yn: exorcisomus te, omnis immunus spirits, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarri, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolicas, ergo dracto malidicte, eclesium secura fascious liberate, te regamous, audinos

At that point black smoke came out of Jared's mouth, and went straight through the floor. When Jared looked at you again his eyes were clear and he leaned you against the wall.

He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of your pussy. It was something that both of you had dreamed about for months.

His hard cock pounding your sensitive tender pussy. With each thrust you climaxed. But it was the kisses that left you both breathless.

The more he thrust the more he came. After 45 minutes and 16 climaxes for the both of you.

Jared set you down, helped you rinse off, both of you getting out after Jared turned off the water, Jared wrapped a towel round you, then he dried himself off.

Jared: thank you. Thank you for saving my life. But where did you learn to do that.

YN: too much research on the paranormal. I knew something was off and when that demon named himself I knew what I had to do. 

Jared: would you consider making your time here a role more permenant than just a nanny?

YN: what kind of role would that be?

you are immediately pickd up and placed on the bed with Jared crawling on top of you. he made love to you for a few moments before just curling up with you in his arms and muttered only 2 words before he crashed.

Jared: marry me

you used voice command to turn out the lights before passing out yourself. when you both woke the next morning with just a sheet covering your still cuddling forms. you blinked a bit before moving a piece of Jared’s hair out of his eyes. 

it was a few moments later that Jared stirred. 

YN: morning handsome.

Jared: that was the best ive slept in years. 

YN: do you remember saying anything after we hit the pillow last night.

Jared twists away from you for a moment and pulls something out of one of the drawers in his nightstand, before coming back to your embrace.

Jared: all this time i felt empty and now i want nothing more than to have you stay permenantly. YN will you partner with me in raising Thom full time, not as a nanny but as a step mom to him. YN i believ i already asked you this but will you marry me?

he reveals a small rose gold band with a 15k diamond in the center surrounded by your birthstone and Jareds birth stone. this made you nod alot, trying to find your voice as the cool metal band slid on your finger. 

YN: yes! yes yes yes!!!! but umm does this mean we dont have to leave this bed right away. 

Jared: i think that can be arranged besides its still early. its only 6am... we are still on work time. 

going back to cuddle mode you admired your new ring as Jared now once more wraped your form in his own, your leg draped over his hip and you guys were basically a free range pretzel. so to speak. it became the start of the life you always wanted something permenant and stable. not loose and ragged. 

goes to show love strikes when you least expect it.

[pbandjesse]

I feel really exhausted today. I dont feel as bad as I did but it has still been a little hard. I could not fall asleep or get comfortable last night and it was not fun at all. I was up until almost 2 and when I did sleep I had very active dreams and it wasnt even good sleep. Sucked. 

So when my alarm went off I told James I needed 5 more minutes. Which made it so I had to leave right away once I was washed and dressed. So it was a little bit of a stressful morning. 

But I got to work on time. And it was a nice enough day. We have 3 more kids registered but they are probably coming tomorrow. So it was just our small crew. But we were all kind of off today. Tired. 

Dasia came in late because her mom was flying back into town and her flight got delayed and it was a whole thing. The twins were there when I was and they were both tired. Caylee was in baby voice mode all day, and Caleb was just poking at his sister all day. But we did do some beading and that was fun. Hopefully well do more tomorrow. I probably could have been a better teacher but I was just really tired so we only did it for their first break. 

Once the other two girls got there we were all mostly just in class mode. I worked on sewing but I could barely focus on that. Today just sort of drug on. I did get some stuff done at least. And I read for a little while. 

We had lunch and me and the twins went outside for a while. It was very breezy today and it made me pretty cold. The first time we went out I remebered my jacket but the second time later in the day I forgot it inside and I was just so cold! My sweater was just to thin. I might put this one in storage. I have so many black sweaters so it wouldnt be the worst thing to put one away. 

Because everyone was so tired we pulled out the yoga mats and the kids all made nap areas. We used the big pieces of fabric in the closet as blankets and the bags of stuffing as pillows. It was very silly. But we had the lights off and for the most part they all focused on their work and it was all good. We were all sleepy though and I was shorter on patience for nonsense today. Like sneaking on youtube when youre actually in class. Like sure have a youtube video on while youre doing work, but not during the actual class. I know the class is stupid. I get it. But this is how this year is and yes I know the mask is annoying but we gotta wear them why have I had to ask 10 times in the last half hour. I might do a check mark system and if they get enough positive checks for masks Ill give them candy? Well see. I hate rewarding when its something they should just do, but this is a weird year. 

The second time we went outside we sung on the swings and on my silk for a while. But by the end of the hour we were all sort of whiny and tire. And so we went inside and cleaned up and I got ready to leave. 

I was very tired at this point. I checked in with Evers and gave him updates of the day. Told him the book requests from the kids. Turns out they are having someone from the library coming to bring books anyway so it was just a nice coincidence. 

I headed home. Took a different way home and it was nice. I stopped at burgerking and got a milkshake and when I got home I made the veggie popcorn chicken and it was alright. I might bake them longer next time to make them crispier but they were still nice. 

After I ate I decided I would sleep for a bit. Which ended up being almost 2 hours. I woke up very dehydrated and very confused because the sun had gone down. I changed into my new sweatshirt and got something to drink and I felt a little better. I checked on our animal crossing island and you can catch leaves right now! That was exciting but I was bad at it and got frustrated. 

I did some and work in my studio for a bit. I have two commissioned big frogs this week and so I sent them some fabric ideas. I also stuffed and finished a few other friends. I have to go through my frog box again though because I think I may have missed a bunch when I photographed before so I think Im gong to retake all the ones I still have? Well see. No sales today but James did get the two from friday sent out today. The printer issue seems to be a known thing so he found a work around and printed the labels in blue. He's so smart. 

I did the dishes and now I am just laying in the studio. I think I am going to go take a shower and get in bed. I am really hoping I can get easier sleep tonight. Dasia isnt going to be in tomorrow, so I will be alone with the kids. Which is fine, she is mostly just another set of eyes in the room. I wonder if the three new kids will be nice? I hope so. 

I also hope you all have a good night. Please keep washing your hands. And try to stay in. I know our government hasnt made it easy for us and hasnt set a good example. But we got to do our best. 

Sleep well you guys.

[sameteeth]

NOT to be found family on main BUT pls consider.. lucy adopting/parenting the lost boys after max gets killed

the boys all survive, albiet with injuries that take a while to heal bc they were all injured w Vampire Killing Intent. theyre all laying around in the hotel when lucy marches in, first aid kit in hand and sam being dragged reluctantly w her. micheal tags along too. lucy is horrified at the messy ass cave but doesnt clean bc she knows its not Her Space, its the boys and she respects their privacy/independence.

marko is doing the worst, since the boys could only give him rudimentary first aid before rushing off to attack micheal/the frog bros. he’s feverish and delirious and thinks lucy is his mom. she cradles his cheek and pets his hair as she patches up his chest (marko is trans and lucy is like Hell Yeah Another Trans Son). the stake missed his heart but his lungs are fucked now bc getting stabbed as a vamp is Not Great.

dwayne is next- he’s got a big scar on his back and nerve damage from the electrocution. maybe some cool lightening scars once he heals up. he has more trouble w memory now bc yknow. brain damage. lots of flashing can possibly trigger seizures for him, and he has issues with movement disorder type things- tics, uncontrollable shaking, etc.

paul is just absolutely covered in burns, and his hair is falling out in chunks bc his skin is peeling off. think acid burns? his skin gets a little melty and he’s got some bad scarring, esp in his face once he heals. he takes the longest to heal just because he can’t do much of anything without tearing his skin up bc its super delicate as it grows back. its a very frustrating process. hes normally a cheery dude but he kinda falls into a funk trying to recover.

david is similar to marko in his injuries. he’s got some lung issues afterwards but he mostly heals ok. he’s more guarded around lucy, and he heals quicker bc hes the lead vamp and has been around the longest/is stronger than his brothers.

other than marko who passes out after calling lucy mom and crying a little theyre all REALLY nervous around her, theyre all like dogs baring their teeth when they cant even stand up. but lucy just goes about her business and tries to help them. sam is scared shitless of the vamps but lucy is 100% fearless and has NO issue telling david off for trying to get up when he should be resting. she brings them animal blood (courtesy of the widow johnson) with straws stuck in it like caprisun and sits there holding an actual caprisun and drinking it with them. she plays pauls records when he asks but usually picks stuff she recognizes as opposed to newer music that sam and micheal like. dwayne finds it kinda nice, bc she likes groovier/more chill music rather than super harsh or fast music. micheal apologizes to david and david apologizes (sort of) to micheal. david is a very prideful dude after all, but he does genuinely feel bad for ruining the emerson’s house/lives because his crazy ass “dad” wanted a make-believe family.

and just bc i hate max- he turned david against his will after seeing him as a kid and thinking “hm id love to be a father but alas i am a vampire, guess i will stalk this abused child until he is adult-ish age and take him as my own!”. no one gave a shit when max took david since his family sucked. david was basically an impromptu parent for a ton of neighborhood kids and his siblings bc his parents were shit and didnt care about him- it was more of an image thing anyways. so he has all the Big Brother instincts but was forced to grow up too young and has trouble cutting loose bc of this. (ill get into this in a later post maybe?). anyways max took all the lost boys in against their wills/without their consent, which is why david doesnt ask micheal to join, he just gets him to drink the blood. which i always thought was fucked up anyways. david only knows vampires who were forced to turn (him and all the lost boys).

meanwhile star takes some time to recover away from the boys and regains her humanity a bit- she does love their little family, cobbled together out of a lot of desperation and a lot of love, but she needs some time away to think things over now that she knows it wasnt david who was holding her there, it was max. laddie is super worried about his big bros and goes completely nonverbal (normally he is semiverbal). star is worried about him and convinces lucy to take him to see the boys after the more gorey wounds have healed, bc although laddie has Seen Some Shit he is also a Literal Child and doesn’t deserve to be exposed to that. and now that he has a Genuine Adult who isnt a weird vampire looking after him, lucy can make sure he gets looked after and treated like a child. bc although the lost boys did their best, none of them are really Parents.

lucy backs off once the boys are more healed, but they end up spending a lot of time at the emerson’s anyways!! they help rebuild the house and clean up, since the plumbing got fuckin destroyed and the house is kind of missing a wall. grandpa is annoyed abt it but he puts the boys to work(at night ofc), since he’s crotchety but he’s also noticed that the missing/murdered people usually arent good people. paul loves to bake with lucy and dwayne loves to cook/try new recipes for people who will appreciate a fancy meal (hes secretly grandpas fav for the food only). paul also loves to bond w lucy over music and actually gets on well with sam- he’s got a slacker middle child vibe that sam warms up to eventually and they become super tight! marko and sam have a youngest-sibling rivalry (kind of) but it eventually fades from constant bickering into them tag-teaming whining at david or micheal or dwayne for whatever they want this time. micheal and dwayne vibe really well bc dwayne likes to spend quality time w people by sitting with them in silence, doing their own thing, and micheal enjoys just vibing w people since sam is loud and his mom always anxiously fills silence w chatter. nothing against her, but sometimes its a lot for micheal, so he enjoys just sitting with dwayne in silence for hours at a time.

marko realizes maybe 2 months after they recover that he called lucy mom and avoids the house for like a week out of embarrassment, but lucy just smiles and calls him her crafty animal son and pats his stupid mullet. he loves to bring her animals, especially birds since she has some experience keeping birds. they dont keep the wild animals but lucy does notice that more wildlife seems to come around the house now that the lost boys are visiting. sam and david have the funniest relationship bc sam is like “fuck you i fucking hate you” and david is like “my friends little brother foams like a rabid chihuahua when i come over pls help”. sam wont be rude to david bc lucy said be nice but he will also not Interact Unless Necessary so like. david will be like “hey! champ..! how was... school!” bc hes trying to be fucking nice but he hasnt interacted with childrne other than laddie in Years and sam will be like “good.” and they just fucking stare at each other while dwayne does ollies in the background until marko and paul roll in with scissors and bleach like “WHO WANTS A MAKEOVER MICHEAL ALREADY GOT ONE” and micheal is chasing them with tinfoil in his hair with a stuffed woodchuck in his hands ready to murder

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[nie7027]

Super5 headcanons pt 2

Edit:    Part 1    Part 2     Part 3    Part 4   Part 5

Minegishi can only stare

"Where the fuck have you been?"

"What do you care?"

"Why are you here?"

"I was bored"

Shimazaki could be here to kill him for betraying him but Minegishi is too tired for this and there are dishes to wash.

In the time it takes him to do the dishes and calm down his plants, shimazaki falls asleep so he goes to the living to room to get a better look at the man

Shimazaki looks almost the same except maybe a bit thinner and with possible hollower eyes. The crooked nose is definitely new. A crooked nose?? Did he broke his nose at some point?? He is even wearing the same clothes as last time. His precious jacket ripped at the edges. Scorching marks and bullet holes here and there.

With a long sigh he takes out his phone, turns off the volume and opens the super3 chat(the too spicy for Seris innocent eyes). The messages start to come in rapidly

Minegishi: Shimazaki is back

Hatori: what

Hatori: what do you mean Shimazaki is back???

Shibata: how did he find us? Did he try to fight you?

Minegishi: i mean he is asleep on my couch. No, he just ate all of my cereal.

Shibata: what the fuck?

Hatori: what the fuck?

Minegishi what the fuck indeed

Shibata: did he say what he wants? Do you know why is he here?

Minegishi: He didnt talk and I dont know

Hatori: what do we do?

Minegishi:

Minegishi: i dont know.

Minesishi: i cant make any calls or else he could wake up and seri isnt logged in so can someone call him and tell him whats going so they can take the necessary precautions

Shibata: im on it

Shibata: hatori is freaking out in his room anyway. I think he is begginin to build a security system.

Minegishi: ...

Shibata: yeah yeah ill go calm him after i talk with Seri.

Minegishi stares at his phones and then at the man on his couch, he cant blame them. Shimazaki is a really dangerous person and they dont know what he is doing here. Minegishi just wanted to do the dishes, water his plants and go to sleep.

The super5 will never know but Shimazaki wasnt lying per se. He WAS bored.

After he ran away from the fight against seasoning city espers he hid here and there taking his sweet time at recovering and once he did(his nose still felt strange but he ignored it) he started to look at what to do.

He joined many criminal organizations, afterall a teletransporter was very valued in the underworld. But not matter how petty or big the crime was, he got bored. So he ended leaving all of them. he even left some in the middle of a important job, not caring whether his employers got caught or not( it was their fault for being stupid and not having a backup plan anyway)

After some months of this he realized he was bored of normal criminals. He was bored of normal persons with narrowed mindsets who conformed with just comitting stupid crimes. HE HAD BEEN PART OF A PLAN TO TAKE THE WORLD and now he was trafficking some drug?? Lame.

Most of all he missed the thrilling sensation of being surrounded with persons that could actually put a fight against him. So he searched for something alike to claw, an organization of espers.

His search turned out fruitless and he decided then he should return to where all started. Claw. It was time to pay a visit to his expartners.

It took him just a week to locate them. It would have took him just a day but he was finally having some fun and god he was gonna drag it all he could.

So here he was in a tiny empty apartment, the crazy amount of plants with a certain aura being the only indication that it belonged to Minegishi...WHERE THE HELL WAS HE? Oh well. He had been waiting for a year. He could wait a little more. In any case in his hurry to get here he forgot to eat and he could hear a fridge running.

Shimazaki, still on the sofa, wakes up the next day at the sound of a blender. He is being held in place, bounded by lots and lots of thick green vines and sturdy roots from which he easily frees himself. The moment he does so the noise at the kitchen stops and an annoyed minegishi steps out. Shimazaki can feel him tensing, preparing for an attack and that makes him smirk .

Until an alarm clock goes off that makes Minegishi mutter a curse

"If you are gonna do something do it now. I have better things to do and i have to go now"

"Better things to do?? What can possibly be better than this??"

"I have work so if you are gonna just stand there and smirk be my guest"

"Work?"

"Yeah, work. you know? That thing you do for a living and that contributes to society? Fuck it.You probably dont. Anyway i gotta go" Turning his back on shimazaki is probably the worst idea but he couldnt sleep at all, he is late and he hasnt had breakfast so if shimazaki wants to kill him he will gladly accept it.

He miraculously manages to exit his apartment and make it to his work. He only hopes theres an apartment to come back later.

Shimazaki can only stare increduously to where minegishis used to stand. 'Work'? 'Contribute to society'? THE FUCK WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT this was completely unexpected and he doesnt know what to do until he notices theres a smell coming from the kitchen where Minegishi left his untouched breakfast. Well he supposes he can muse how to proceed over breakfast.

Hatori isnt allowed to use his phone at work but he is too anxious to care and he has powers to do it without anybody noticing

Spicy3 chat

Hatori: how did it went?

Minegishi: ...well...i guess?? I am alive and my flat was still in one piece last time i saw it

Hatori: he didnt try anything?

Minegishi: he woke up when it was time for me to go...so i just kinda left

Shibata: you just left? He didnt try to stop you???

Minegishi: no

Minegishi:but i think...

Hatori: WHAT

Shibata:what

Minegishi: i think he is...tired.

Minegishi: I bound him while he was sleeping and he never woke up nlr stirred. He didnt notice.

Hatori: weird

Minegishi: i know. Worst of all i couldnt eat and i have 2 hours more left until my break.

Shibata: i can pass on my way to gym and sneak you something

Minegishi: thanks

Hatori: if you want you can hang in our apartment for the time being. We still need to know what he wants

Shibata: yeah, and if he shows up we can fight him together💪

Minegishi: if Seri asks, everything is under control

It takes a week for Shimazaki to finally show up. Meanwhile Minegishi has to use Hatoris and Shibatas washing machine to wash his work uniform daily(it can get very dirty when you work in a flower shop) because his other sets of uniform are back at his place trapped with Shimazaki. So is his money and he has to lend some from Hatoris and shibatas and ask his boss for an advencement in his payment. He hates Shimazaki more now.

They cant do anything but stare blankly when he suddenly shows up in the middle of the living room where they were eating pizza holding an empty box of cereal and says "Theres no more food back there and i want more of these but i cant see how they are called" while pointing at the box.

Sometimes its very easy to forget he is actually blind. Hatori weakly says the name of the branch of cereal he is holding and Shimazaki dissapears again before anybody can say anything.

"Did everybody saw what i just saw right??what the fuck? What the fuck?" shibata exclaims

"...my food"minegishi laments

Its not until an hour of wondering what was that and wracking their brain for an asnwer after that shimazaki returns, a brand new box of the cereal in his hands. He picks up a slice of the forgotten pizza and sits besides Shitaba.

"You didnt pay for that did you?" asks Shitaba

Shimazaki just turns around and stares st him with his hauntingly empty eyes "you too?"

"PAY? WORK? CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU"

"Weve changed"

"Yeah we have jobs and stuff, we help peopl"

"YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORKING?"

"TO NOT PARASITE ON OTHERS HARD WORK LIKE SOME PEOPLE IN HERE" finally explodes Minegishi

The man frowns and rapidly done with the conversation teleports away.

Minegishi finally returns to his place, his web of plants telling him Shimazaki isnt there anymore. Re stashing his fridge and cabinet is a pain in the ass.

Shimazakis plan had been to either find his expartners and form something alike to Claw with them or just antagonize them until he gets the fight he so much craves. None of that has happened because all of them had turned to a bunch of weakling pussies and he cant even find Serizawa.

He could still try to fight them but he bitterly realizes he wont get any satisfaction of beating them if they keep acting like that, restraining themselves and trying to be civil as if they werent the same persons that destroyed this very city a year ago. It would be like punching flowers!

The point was to get rid of his boredness and now he is just angry!

He needs them to drop the act.

Thats when a plan starts to form in his head and he smirks. He is going to show them what they are missing on.

Thats how he finds himself back in minegishis apartment.

"Im just saying you could probably grow tons of weed, good quality of course. And i take care of the transport i know a bunch of people-"

"Weed? Are you serious? Is this why you came back? To start a drug trafficking bussines?"

"Im just saying with my teletransporting abilities and yourplant thing we could save lots of money in transport and become richer than-"

"No"

"AREN YOU TIRED OF THIS? OF SHITTY CUSTOMERS GETTING YOU IN TROUBLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW RAINBOW ROSES DONT NATURALLY EXIST?"

"WHERE YOU SPYING ME AT WORK?"

"MAYBE SO"

"DONT DO IT AND STOP EATING ALL MY FOOD"

He then tries with shibata, approaching him during one of his morning running routines. Teletransporting every 2 meters at his side while he keeps running clearly ignoring him

"With your force, not that i need it, we could terrorize all the bussines of a whole prefecture and force them to pay for protection. We win, they win"

"Not interested"

"Why not?! It would be so easy"

"I dont want to"

"Could you stop running? This is important"

"No thanks"

"You arent even listening!"

"Good"

He finally tries with Hatori thinking he would be the easiest of them

"You hack the system and we force all those politicians to pay us to not release all their dirty secrets"

"I am busy"

"No you are not. You are playing mario kart. I can hear Yoshi"

"Ive changed"

"Have you? Really???" at this point Shimazaki raises an eyebrow, he is so done and he wont keeo with this bullshit "because everywhere i have been, and i have been everywhere, the interpol, cia, you name it HAS BEEN AFTER ME whereas you three can waltz into a store like nobodys bussiness. WE COMMITED THE SAME CRIME. WE DESTROYED THIS CITY so how come im the only one being persecuted? Huh? You think I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID"

Hatori pauses the game and glares at him. Good, he is finally getting a reaction.

" i did what had to be done and i wont let YOU of all people tell me-"

"Me? Of all people? You believe yourself so grand and high when you are nothing but THE SAME AS ME" immediately shimazaki feels hatoris aura flare. what must have been his console shifting and changing into something new. Whatever it is, he is sure he can block it.

"Really? You are gonna fight me? I want to see you-" a horrible sound like nothing he had ever heard before pierces his ears making him howl in pain and he teleports away.

After that accident shimazaki never mentions Hatoris dirty secret again but that doesnt stop him from keep trying to get them to commit felonies again.

He thinks he once "saw" Serizawa on the street but his aura was quickly eaten by the aura of the person by his side. He didnt stayed to find out and quickly teleported away.

And this goes like this for 3 months, his proposals becoming more and more desesperate until one day he just... gives up.

Shimazaki should have left or killed them months ago but for some reason he prefers to stay here. He wont admit it but hes having more fun living on their couches annoying them than what he would have had they accepted his proposals.

He takes special delight in annoying them when they had hard days. (Minegishi comes home covered in something stinky and almost strangles shimazaki with his own hands after he comments this wouldnt have happened if he had accepted to traffick weed in a yacht with him)

...besides he has noticed that now in both apartments there is always a box of his favourite cereal (hatori sweared it was the cereal what placated Shimazaki given how docile he was whenever he was seen eating it, shibata and minegishi just liked it)

The super3 cant believe it themselves but they have now gotten used to the constant presence of Shimazaki in their lives (which isnt surprising given they spent at least 3 years together).

Well constant is a way to put it because the man still has the habit of dissapearing 3-5 days every once in a while and reappearing like nothing happened

But they know this cant keep going like this and thats how minegishi finds himself texting the super3 chat one day he comes to an empty apartment

Minegishi: is shimazaki there?

Hatori: yeah, hes playing smash with shitaba

Minegishi: playing smash??

Hatori: its seems he learned the patron of my movements by observing me and now hes kicking Shitabas ass as princess peach

Minegishi: ?

Hatori: we told him he was playing bowser

Minegishi: whatever, tell him to bring his ass back. I need to go grocery shopping and i need his help

"Why would i help you grocery shopping?" says shimazaki suddenly to his right

At the same his phone sounds 2 times

Shibata: hatori said something to him and he just teleported

Shibata: is safe to assume he is with you?

Minegishi: yea, im taking charge from here

"Im teaching you to do grocery shopping"

"I dont need you to teach me shit"

" yes, you do if you want to keep eating that cereal you like and that you finished this morning"

Shimazaki raises his eyebrow, teleports and after 5 min returns with 5 boxes of the damn cereal in his arms

"There. Its done"

"DID YOU JUST ROBBED THEM? YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS"

"WHY NOT? ITS EASIER"

"THATS NOT THE POINT"Minegishi stops, breathes amd tries again "Shimazaki you cant keep doing this and i dont mean just the whole robbing, i mean i dotn know what you do when you dissapear for days but when you are here you just eat our food, wait for us to come home from work and then annoy us?"

"So? I can do whatever i want"

"Do you realize how pathethic it sounds?Is this really all you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do?"

Shimazaki doesnt wanna hear anymore of that and teleports

He ends teleporting to a random alley where he passes the night

The next days his mood isnt any better and he spends them sleeping, terrorizing random deliquents he finds in his way and kicking bags of trash until one day of the "bags" lets out a yelp.

Its shibata who finds him some days later during one of his running routines when he follows the sound of a hurt dog

Expecting to see a bunch of nasty kids terrorizing a poor animal he steps up to confront them only to find his missing "friend" glaring at poor dog and screaming "STOP COMPLAINING ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT MOVING I DIDNT EVEN KICK YOU THAT HARD"

He texts a quickl "Found him" to the group chat and marches up to him

"You shouldnt be kicking random things in the first place"

"Get lost"

" are you sure you didnt kick him hard? He is limping and we both know your kicks arent exactly soft"

"If i had wanted, a limp would be the least of its problems" still he makes a face as if he isnt sure

With a sigh Shibata carefully picks up the dog and motions to shimazaki "theres a vet nearby. You kicked him so you own him that at least. Dont worry ill pay" he doesnt wait for Shimazakis response and walks, relief overflowing him once he hears footsteps behind him

The consult is quick and the vet gleefully hands shimazaki "his" dog while she explains to shibata the treatment they should follow the next three months

Shimazaki...had never in his life pet a dog, much less carried one. His fur feels dirty and is tangled everywhere but the vet said it just needs a bath. It is warm and he can feel and hear his steady breaths. His mental eye allows him to perceive the flowing of his blood, the currents in his brain, the beating of his heart...all what makes a living being held in his arms. Things he has always perceived but never payed attention. The fact that the dog starts to lick his hands doesnt go unnoticed and he feels strangely calm. His grip tightening.

They are about to exit the clinic, shibata saying his last thanks when a woman and a girl enter. That very moment the dog starts to squirm in his embrace. And he doesnt know what to do

"Hey are you alright? I can hold it if you want" asks shibata noticing his turmoil

" yeah, its just the stupid dog WHO HAS FORGOTTEN HE CANT WALK"

The girls who shibata notices has red puffy narrows her eyes and yells "DONT CALL HIM STUPID YOU ARE THE STUPID" before turning to look at shimazaki, whatever she was going to say next is forgotten as she stares with wide eyes.

Both the moms and shimazakis replies are drowned by the girl scream of "UESAMA! MOM ITS HIM ITS MY DOG"

For some reason shimazaki feels his blood run cold and lifts up the dog even more when the girl comes clashing at his legs desesperately trying to grab her dog

Shibata who noticed shimazakis earlier expression cant believe what hes seeing (please god, please tell me he isnt gonna fight a girl over a dog) when the vet decides to come out to see what is happening

"Im sorry, my little girl believes those boys over there have Uesama"

"ITS HIM"

"Uesama?..." the vet stares some seconds in confusion before her eyes grow wider "Oh how didnt i notice it before! Im sorry sirs but it seems you have found this little girls dogs" the vets looks expectantly at shimazaki

Shimazaki who has been holding a very squirming dog and listening to the screams of a girls is starting to get very annoyed. The tempation to teleport away with the dog too big to ignore. Hes about to do it when he hears the dog crying again.

With a huff he hands it to the very thankful mother and exits the clinic as quickly as he can.

Shibata follows suit "I saw your face before they arrived. I can tell what you did"

"Shut up"

The walk home is strangely quiet but at least he is back.

The joke on the spicy chat is that the super 3 are dumb and believe they are protecting oh so pure Seri when in reality they just share dumb penis jokes while Seri is actually riding Reigens dick.

And yes as his last crime Hatori threatened with realeasing all the state secrets of all the goverments and provoking a worldwide crisis if they didnt allow them to try to live normal lives

I just noticed this is more of a fanfic than a list of headcanons now but meh. What i wanted to actually be part 2 is gonna be part 3? 4? I didnt even get to write the prank the super5 were gonna pull on shimazaki but now you have something to look up next time.

Im not that happy with how the second half turned out but maybe im just tired.

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[trickstarbrave]

today in reasons i feel shitty: my friend blew up on me on twitter bc i kept ASKING him if he wanted to play dnd with us bc hes a part of our group. i asked him if he could LAST WEDNESDAY and he has been giving me the run around since then. saying “i dont know yet” and “ill tell you when i do”. i tell him to let us know sunday at least, because the only days off he has are monday and tuesday. he says okay

sunday evening comes and he hasnt said shit so i ask him. hes drunk and i tell him we’ll talk tomorrow. monday i ask him if he can play tomorrow and he says hes “not sure and will need to ask if theyre playing mtg” so i say “okay”. he doesnt reply back all day. TODAY i ask him if he wants to play today or not and he says “i have to pick up a court summons” (not, “actually sorry i am playing mtg today”, not “i dont feel like playing, im sorry”). i sound suspicious but say “okay” and remind him we havent played in over a week AS IS. and he then GOES OFF ON ME for “guilt tripping him” and “making it an ~obligation~ he plays” and how i “stress him out by asking over and over again”. when i tell him he should have told me straight out he didnt want to play instead of just giving vague “maybe i dont know” answers he gets defensive even more and says “I DID” and when i say “no, you didnt, the only thing vaguely like that is you saying “im gonna be tired” on a question about your days off. thats not a yes or no answer and lots of us play while tired so why would i assume it was something else” 

“WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT YOURE A BUNCH OF SADISTS WHO HAD TO TURN A FUN CASUAL GAME INTO A OBLIGATION WHERE YOU ALL ARE FORCED TO PLAY SICK OR TIRED! i cant even SAY i dont want to play because you all guilt trip me and get mad when i do.” 

see, he doesnt say “sorry guys my next days off will be full and im not up to it.” and apologize for keeping us waiting or giving us the go ahead to play without him (WEVE HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE and PURPOSEFULLY made the game so if he doesnt want to play he can leave whenever so long as its not in the middle of a fucking mission. okay. its not like we just sit there doing nothing but complain if he cant play). he waits until the DAY OF OUR GAME to tell is he purposefully made plans on game night, no he cant change them, no he was absolutely always forced to do them right now during game time, and then get pissy when we all complain because we dont even have time to plan around him and have cleared out our evening for nothing and our time is wasted. 

he then keeps going on and on because apparently i was just supposed to know the words “im tired” and his vague answers like hes genuinely unsure about the state of tomorrow were him “actually” telling me he doesnt even want to play and i should have fucking caught on, he wanted to quit this game MONTHS ago. i was just supposed to know him being ‘busy’ was a ‘secret message’ that actually meant ‘just stop even asking me when i want to play a game and hang out with my friends! just stop inviting me in general! i dont like you or the game! its not fun and stresses me out and im LYING to you.” and we just all fucking ignore him and play without him and let him figure out we havent even been giving him the opportunity to join to play

which is so fucking. terrible. who would just assume “thats what you mean”???? like imagine if you WERENT doing this and actually were really busy and your friends just eventually stopped even inviting you to game night, only for you to check the group chat months later and find out they have been playing without you and having fun and didnt even bother inviting you to anything at all. you just find this out. and by the time you figure it out they might have done a lot stuff or played games YOU wanted to play and they arent going to go back and replay the stuff you missed bc they just assumed you were lying to their faces and it wouldnt matter anyways if you were there or not. how hurtful would that be? imagine if some of your friends did that to you, would you be HAPPY they did it??? 

keep in mind HE is the one who picked out the VERY NEXT MISSION WE”RE ABOUT TO DO so fucking sorry if we assumed “HEY HE PROBABLY WANTS TO PLAY IT. YKNOW THE MISSION HE FUCKING PICKED OUT. THE MISSION INVOLVING STUFF SPECIFICALLY FOR HIS CHARACTER” oh my fucking god. 

now i dont know the state of our group bc he yelled at me more and said he quit and deleted all his tweets and our dm is miserable and put the game on hiatus for 2 fucking weeks. i feel miserable too bc my friend has been lying to me and called me a guilt tripper and manipulative for reminding him hes stringing along 5 other people by not being fucking honest with us and said its OUR PROBLEM he cant be honest even though we structured the game so he can take MONTH long breaks if he needs to just give us the heads up. i told him he could quit once we got more than 3 players bc do you know how annoying it is to do a full campaign w only 2 characters playing???? bc one of the three dropped out??? i told him to just fucking play until then and he could quit for real and he went “but i DO wanna play : ( im just stressed!” 

well now ill just fucking believe every time he complains abt smth like “man i have to spend money on this thing” that means we’re just not hanging out like we planned. im not gonna ask him if hes actually going to the ren fest even tho the bed situation was taken care of bc i just assume now that he only brought up the bed to tell me hes not fucking going and to fuck off. im not making a costume for it either if my best friend doesnt go im just gonna stay home. 

i cant read the fucking air and he knows this. hes known me forever. he knows im ignorant and dont ‘get’ stuff like “if someone keeps canceling plans that means they want you to leave them the fuck alone and stop even inviting them or talking to them”. he knows im probably autistic and struggle with ‘unsaid” social cues like that and he just STILL does this and calls ME terrible for not ‘getting it’ and ‘forcing him’ to yell at me. im rtired.

[lipiaknight]

arguments / debates ive had with my bf and where they went

CW for discriptions of abuse, starvation, abelism, and general dick behavior.

this post is for  @thatdemiboymess to reiterate my statement of “ive accepted im in a financially abusive situation”

money we have a hard time budgeting and saving money because bs has trauma with home insecurity, and gf’s only healthy coping mechanism is to buy things. i offered to make a budget, and then did. because the grocery budget and by proxy how much money would be going into savings was off, he got rid of the entire budget. i spent a week on it.

computer i want my own computer and own space because i have trauma around having no privacy. i worked through with him to make a savings plan, plan out what i wanted to get specifically, and how i would pay it back and when. Then, my health declined sharply. I cant work any of the jobs in the area due to a number of reasons. He claims to have forgotten and is telling me we wont be getting the computer and that ill have to cover it ymself. He before promised to cover half.

wheelchair i know i will be needing a wheelchair in the coming years for both mobility and comfort. Its something ive known since middleschool, and now that im not working outside of comissions and streaming, its harder for me to save money. All of my income is going to therapy at the moment. I tried talking to him about the possability of meeting with me half way to get a wheelchair that would fit my size, and he shot it down outright. he has a wheelchair from his dad whos was nearly 600 lbs, and taller than me. The wheelchair is nowhere near usable for me. When i mentioned that having too large of a seat could kill me (with an example) he told me that we couild pad it with pillows. When i told him about the fact that i wouldnt be able to get around on my own because its a hospital style, he asked why i would need to get around on my own if hes always around. I tried bringing up the fact that he wont always be around, such as him being at work or me using the bathroom, and he ignored it. Right now, im looking to get a $1-2k wheelchair on my own using just comission and stream money. I dont think itll be till i litterally cant walk with crutches that he will break.

litterally any spending on himself gf and i want to get him really nice boots so he will stop walking through his shoes in a month. he keeps denying it based on the idea that he walked through a nice pair of shoes in a month when he was walking to and from work every day, ignoring the fact that he now has 2 people to drive him to and from work, and the only walking he does is at work because he doesnt even really get out of the house. gf and i have decided to go behind his back and get it anyway, and i plan to get him some clothes that actually fit when i have the chance.

house repairs he hasnt been taking care of any house repairs unless they were emergant. our door doesnt shut. theres holes in the floor where the house supports have rotted away. I cant get from my bed to the bathrrom when im on my crutches because of how unstable the floor is, i have to crawl. He deems it more important to do a double house payment than to repair the floor, or insulate the pipes so they dont freeze, or replace a 50 year old stove that doesnt light half the time and that i cant cook on. gf and i get shamed for geting upset about it. 

getting me basic medical equipment i need a set of knee braces, compression socks, and a back brace. he claims to have “forgotten” ive given up on getting them and have accepted that ill just be in pain.

clothes and furnature i have 1 pair of pants that fit, no summer clothes, 5 pairs of socks, and no dresser. Im consistanly shamed for not having my clothes put away despite not having a place to put them. ive been asking for a dresser and clothes that fit. ive been ignored.

food i use meal replacement shakes to suppliment my food when i cant wat or my body cant process food. When our budgeting was really bad, that was the first thing he cut out. i starved for 2 weeks. Now were on EBT. i dont feel safe drinking them as often as i need them now because im scared ill loose them.

finanical abuse when i brought up venting to my gf about how it feeels like financial abuse, bf threatened to get violent. He said so over message, and to my face repeatedly. if it werent for the voices in his head, he would have. I had a panic attack, and told him that because i have severe PTSD over being hit, and he ignored it. He continured to reiterate that he wanted to hurt me for implying that he could be abusive. i told him that a friend came up with the thought, but didnt say that i agreed. That calmed him down. I still dont feel safe.

i want out, but i dont know how to get out. I cant work, i dont have a working car, i have no money. Im stuck here.

[goweninsane]

Momther: because you have 3 missing assignments you can only do the one thing that brings you joy and keeps you from ending it all for one hour a day

Me, showing them the finished assignments that I turned in on google classroom literally 2 months ago: I’ve done the work, its my lazy ass teacher who wont put in the grades, I was out sick that day and turned it in first thing the day after, yell at him to get his shit together not me

Momther: ok then you can do thing for one hour AND one minute a day

Me, tired of having this exact same conversation for the 20th time and knowing that due to this ‘punishment’ I’m only gonna ignore more schoolwork to instead do thing behind their back so I don’t have several mental breakdowns from stress: I’ll take what I can get

Father, trying to motivate me but only making me more stressed out and likely to ignore schoolwork in favor of doing thing: hey i got you new thing that you have been looking forward to for years, but I’m not gonna let you use it until you turn in those assignments!

Momther: oh also if you dont fix your grades in 2 weeks we’re gonna pull you out of your dream school and separate you from the only true friend you’ve had in 8 years

The dipshits in my dorms: lmao wouldnt it be funny if we put thumbtacks in the shower head, broke 2 of the games you bought for the xbox right before you got to 100% on both of them, stole $200 from you, and refused to clean out the microwave to the point where the school decides to take it out of the dorms to clean it but 3 weeks later it still hasn’t been returned?

My other teachers, knowing exactly whats going on in my life rn: lmao that sucks but just remember that grades don’t matter also here’s 10 hours worth of homework due tomorrow also you’re in 2 guided study halls now

Tumblr, one of my few escapes from this hell of a life: hey would it be ok if we banned the majority of our users and did some other dumb shit instead of making an easy fix? No that wouldnt be ok? Well too bad!

My motivation and common sense: hey we’re gonna take our vacation days now, dont do something dumb like make a long rant post on tumblr about how your life has gone to shit over the course of half the school year and then end it with a bad meme that makes people think that everything you say in it was just a set up for a joke when in reality its all true and you probably need lots of help, especially if you do it instead of working on the chemistry lab report thats due tomorrow and you haven’t even started yet.

Me: *does exactly that*

Grape: hey dude thanks for visiting me while I was recovering from surgery