#it hasn't gotten better since

[lover-of-mine]

i saw your post about the otps i'm curious how else hurt you like that?

Okay, so this is a very complex answer. Who hurt me like that? Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin from the 100, no ship is gonna traumatize me as much as they did. But they did not have an otp tag, I did change my tag for them to "we could've had it all" after it all ended tho. The otp tags tho, I only use those when I get caught up in a line of dialogue, it's not something I look for with ships, but I had Link and Amelia from grey's anatomy, not because I was particularly super invested in them but because "you make me want to write love songs in the rain" is the most romantic shit I have ever heard and I was like "why not", that's the ship that broke up and went toxic. They're better now, still broken up tho. The ones who got cancelled are Paige and Rayner from famous in love, mostly because that show was the low mental processing thing I needed at the time and the line "for you? anything" really stayed with me. The second is Alex and Willie and Julie and the Phantoms "I would have still followed you" because holy shit I am obsessed with them and I really need to rewatch Julie and they are everything lol. Both of the shows got cancelled before that went anywhere. Then we have buddie. I made that post after spending a week lost in 911 and outside looking in had just aired, and I just thought holy shit "you don't need to pretend with me" is buddie in a nutshell they are getting an otp tag. I currently I have an otp tag for Grace and Judd from Lone Star "I loved you before I met you" and for Katniss and Peeta because they don't have a ship name I like and I love the "don't let him take you from me" line. But who hurt me? Bellarke. If you catch me on the right day Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy from The Amazing Spiderman movies, but for different reasons lol. Other ships that can get me going for hours about how they hurt me but I don't blog about a lot anymore include but are not limited to: Tandy and Tyrone from cloak and dagger, Lucas and Maya from girl meets world, Jess and Rory from Gilmore Girls, Finn and Poe from Star Wars. Let's just say I don't have a lot of ships with happy endings and keep moving kspskpskspsksokapak

[son1c]

Have you ever considered posting fanart on Twitter?

[probayern]

i miss germany, i miss the euros, i miss june

[magentagalaxies]

just finished interviewing bellini for one of my finals in my comedy class and i'm losing my mind over bellini going on a tangent about how if he were grading my comedy over the past year he would give me an A+. like i didn't ask him to say that and it wasn't related to any of the questions i asked but you better believe i'm leaving that in to be like see professor? BELLINI gave me an A+!!!

[liebelesbe]

lol my uncle invited us (as in our entire family) to some party thing in October which first of all i wouldn't be able to go to anyways bc of the longe covide and second of all IT'S ON MY BIRTHDAY. bro we are not going to a shitty thingy at your house with your entire extended family in an enclosed space where i can't be sure none of them are sick. ON MY BIRTHDAY.

[envolvenuances]

and my mother gets angry I don't rely on her today now that she suddenly wans to help. but like I cannot trust this is sincere and something I can count on while she still not capable of being honest with me. tired of being told I am unreasonable and crazy not asking for help on the house that beat the shit out of me for catching dengue fever and always attached human value and independence to how much money you were putting at the table

[izzy-b-hands]

I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj

[vix2section]

when i was younger (like, 7 or 8) i had so many recurring "is my mom even really my mom" thoughts and i'm not sure that's changed much because i feel like we have nothing in common and i've just wanted to distance myself from her so much in the past couple of years to the point of wishing i could move to a different country altogether

[daz4i]

they should invent a my body that has less than infinite issues!!!!!!!

[blunderpuff]

oh so now the birds are eating the <25 cherries i've got growing on my tiny tree

literally everything i've planted in this fucking garden has either died on its own or has been killed by birds/bugs

[novelistparty]

when I was the grand old age of 19 I was talking to this guy and a pregnant woman walked by down the street and he muttered "ugh they should be sent off to an island until they have their baby" and well, um, I stopped talking to him, forever, and uh, is that a common thing for dudes to think? in contrast, I know a bunch of guys that seem to love doting on their pregnant partners, friends, and relatives. so was this guy a rare one???

[theood]

Sorry to beat the dead horse I live in lately but I'm so tired. A break from social media probably could help. If I figure out how else to occupy my time doing absolutely nothing. It's what I say every fucking day. Just wish I had friends. People my age around here to talk too. Even younger. Anything. I'm so fucking lonely. I love everyone I talk to online, I have meaningful connections with so many of you but I also haven't had meaningful conversation IRL in idk. Years probably. I haven't seen any of my old friends because we moved and I had to isolate myself because no one really wanted to hang out with me or could get here. And I really don't do anything, I can't be stressed. I can't be depressed I can't. I can't. I can't. Just like every adult in my life says. I don't know. I just wish I could actually see it's going to get better. Be better for me

[unheavenlybody]

had a panic attack and bailed on a zoom presentation so now i'm probably gonna fail the assignment i am sooo dumb i just want to do the bare minimum and graduate. he fr called on me& i just froze

[cheekblush]

please recommend me your favorite comfort movies <3

[haunted-jackal]

tangentially related to my last post, I find it so annoying when people are like "your fear of failure is just arrogance" or whatever the fuck. no, Charlene, my fear of failure is caused by the belief that I'm inherently worthless as a human being and need to earn it by being good at things

[h4ndwr1tten]

inspired by a tiktok

imagine you and satoru had gotten into an argument. it's already been at least two hours since it—satoru has seemed to move on, but you're still mad and sensitive.

both of you are in bed by now. satoru watches some reality show on the tv while you mindlessly scrolled through tiktok with your back facing him. satoru sighs, then the tv is shut off. he turns to you and attempts to speak to you.

"goodnight, sweets," he chirps, sounding as positive as he could, hoping it would show that he's moved on and that he's okay with you. "i love you."

you don't respond, not because you didn't love him, but you still weren't in the mood to speak. he knew you loved him though, right?

"i love you," he repeats louder, waiting for you to return those three words. again, no response.

he puts his hand around your waist to steady himself as he tries to take a peek at your face with a smile. "hello? i love—"

"i love you! can you stop?!" you snap, shrugging him off you and furrowing your brows at him. although you finally said it, satoru looks anything but relieved and satisfied. the grin he wore to try and make things better faded, his face falling and his eyes softening.

you turned away from him once again and he followed suit, pulling the covers up to his cheeks. he mutters, although a little muffled, "not right now you don't."

it's quiet after. the way you snapped at him and the way his expression morphed into one of hurt and his comment made you feel extremely guilty. were you being petty and holding the argument over his head? you don't even remember what you had argued about.

you quit basking in your guilt and sigh, shutting off your phone and turning over to him. you think he's asleep, but his breathing hasn't evened out. propping yourself up on one arm, you peer over at his face. your hand is on his bicep, gently rubbing up and down. he pretends to be asleep, but you know he can hear you.

"i'm sorry, 'toru. that was really mean of me. i love you so much. we can talk tomorrow, 'kay?" you whisper, placing a lingering kiss to his cheek. you give him a few more pecks as well as another apology before laying down and wrapping your arm around his waist.

you kiss his shoulder blade as you spoon him, then feel his hand run over the one on his stomach. he turns over to face you, making sure your arm never leaves its place on him. you both stare at each other for a minute, apologies being exchanged in the silence and through your eyes. satoru kisses your forehead and you lean into him a little more. he leaves one last kiss on your lips and holds you a little tighter.

"i love you, meanie."