#it has so much queer poc representation and it’s just honestly amazing all around

[apollolovescheesecak]

marcus!!!!

[wolfstarlibrarian]

HELLO I was jw what were your favourite fics featuring POC Marauders without the shitty stereotyping 💜

Also thank you librarian for your content. Honestly this is the top tier rec blog in the fandom due to your amazing taste.

Well THIS is a great ask! It’s nice to see fans looking for authentic diversity in fics as opposed to tokenism. Just about all of these fics have been listed on various library lists, but hopefully people enjoying seeing them listed somewhere convenient. Also, this is just a VERY SMALL selection of fics featuring Remus or Sirius as POC, so if you’re looking for more of a certain representation, just send an ask!

Also, a note to authors looking to include representation (other than their own ethnicity) in their next fic: make sure that you read first hand experiences from multiple sources, research with advocacy groups, and THEN try reach out to a peer who can potentially beta/do a sensitivity read for you. It's important that we all try and learn as much as possible on our own before asking our peers to work as our educators. ❤️

POC Wolfstar

Black James & Cuban Sirius

Be My Baby by @remus-john-lupin It’s the summer of 1963, and 18 year old Remus Lupin discovers dance, love, and even himself. (A very romantic and very gay Dirty Dancing AU.)

Latino Remus

Forget-Me-Not by @halictus-writer

For someone who just woke up with amnesia and a bad concussion, Remus Lupin isn't too dispirited. He'll get through it with the help of his friends, taking it one day at a time, as Sirius says. The only (other) problem? There's something important that he's forgetting.

Retrial by phoenixgal

Remus Lupin, host of the popular podcast Retrial, decides to focus on the case of Sirius Black, a man convicted of murdering his high school best friend, for his upcoming season. Remus has gotten too close to his subjects in the past, so he promises himself that won't happen this time.

Desi Sirius

Young Hearts Intertwined by @goodboylupin

There’s a special kind of magic to a wartime wedding.

Latino Remus & Desi Sirius

A Lucky Mishap by softiejace Of course this would be just Remus’ luck - the library printer breaking when the deadline for his term paper is coming up. And to top it off, the pretty boy he’s been running into all week is there to witness his moment of misery… but maybe he can turn things around?

Sephardic Jewish Remus

Candles in the Darkness by @miraxb

In the winter of seventh year, James, Sirius, and Remus are all carrying their own burdens and fears for the growing darkness in their world. Together, they find comfort and light at the Hanukkah celebration in the Lupin household.

Half Syrian Remus

I Tried Writing Your Name In The Rain, But It Never Came, So I Used The Sun Instead by @prefectmoony

Don’t get Remus wrong. He loves his friends, he does! Loves them to the moon and back in fact. They’re his people, his favorite part of everyday, his found family. He’d do anything for them. But the thing is that doesn’t take away from the very simple fact that his friends are fucking ridiculous. Remus knows this, has known it for five years now. But it doesn’t stop him from startling awake on the morning of his sixteenth birthday surprised by the sound of fireworks exploding in their dormitory and a raucous chorus of “Happy birthday Moony!” being shouted into his ear with jaunty gusto.

Chinese Sirius

got a fascination (with your presentation) by @alifeincoffeespoons

When Remus thought of Oxford as a child, he envisioned turrets, laughter, and an unnameable, unforgettable magic. He did not envision vomiting his breakfast all over himself while standing in the halls of St. Catherine’s College.

Cut Your Bangs by @notmycatsname

"There’s something about him that catches Sirius’s eye. His voice is a little whiny, almost off-key. Sirius has heard it time and time again in the bands that Lily plays through their speakers at their apartment but it sounds more genuine, almost heart breaking, through his voice. Remus’s voice."

Black Remus, Desi Sirius & James

Palo Alto by NachoDiablo

Modern AU set in Silicon Valley. It's easy for Sirius to ignore his mixed-up feelings while he's got Remus all to himself, but when Remus starts dating again, Sirius is forced to figure things out before Remus moves on for good. Or before James and Peter strangle them both.

Japanese Remus and Taiwanese Sirius

kavaluan (means white lily here) by @claudiafekete 1926, Taiwan. Japanese empire's prized colony. Remus needed an interpreter. Sirius volunteered.

Philippino Sirius

Problems with Narrative Structure and the Rules of Manly Engagement [+Podfic] by @xinasvoice

"There were easily six hundred people living in the Paramount building in downtown San Francisco. That was a lot of neighbors to get to know, but it only took a single day of living there for Sirius to notice Remus."

Latino Remus & Japanese-American!Sirius

Discards by @picascribit​ When 21-year-old assistant librarian Sirius spots a cute hipster college student at the Seattle Public Library, he just needs to figure out a subtle way of determining whether he’s into guys. But Remus’s life is more complicated than Sirius knows.

Native American Sirius

Grimsfall by @remus-john-lupin

There is a legend in the old city of Grimsfall that a large, black creature used to emerge from the forest at night, and anyone who met its gaze would be driven to madness before the thing dragged them into the depths of hell.

Mexican Remus & Sirius

A Whole Queer County Fair by @bigblackdogfic Two queer Mexican kids talking, having sex, and feeling their feelings in Arizona.

Indigenous Australian Remus

Among The Gumtrees by WolfstarGarden Sirius inherits his uncle's farm, but finding the right farmhand isn't as simple as he'd hoped: Sirius just couldn’t help but wonder if fantasising about his straight farm assistant was maybe one boundary breach too far. On the other hand, perhaps Remus shouldn’t suck on the end of his pen while lost in thought.

South American Remus

The Delegate by @wanderingbandurria

It’s 1921, and Sirius Black is a sailor that wants to prove himself as a political agitator. He sets foot in a lost, forgotten port in South America, where he’s supposed to help with the local organization of syndicalists. He’s not expecting to meet a brown-eyed man who is there to help put his words into Spanish. A man that’s really not interested in anything but doing his job. Nothing more.

Thai Sirius

Whatever Words I Say -orphaned fic

When Remus Lupin is hired to control the antics of famous lead singer of the Marauders, Sirius Black, he knows he has his work cut out for him. Sirius is contrary and has absolutely no chill, and loves pissing off the press. Remus feels up to the challenge, but he certainly does not expect to fall head over heels in love from the moment he meets the charismatic singer.

Something Beautiful -orphaned fic When Remus Lupin’s ex talks him into a drunken tattoo mistake, he goes to his friend and co-worker Lily for help. Luckily her husand’s best mate is a tattoo artist who can help with the cover up. Unfortunately for Remus, the tattoo in in a rather compromising area, and he’ll have to get over his embarrassment. Luckily for him, Sirius Black is just the man for the job.

So many fics and yet so many more to go! As always, feel free to reblog with your own recs!

[cant-think-of-anything]

I think part of the reason that there’s such a dissonance between what kind of character Matthew is ~supposed~ to have and what kind of poor traits shine through, especially in his treatment of Alastair, is not just because of CC’s poor handling of alcoholism (and, in my opinion, mental health issues and depression) but also because: Our first introduction to these characters happened a long ways before some major changes to TLH.

Namely… Alastair and Cordelia were basically white in CC’s original planning. There’s just no way around that. Their flower cards, where they’re not just whitewashed but purely white, prove that (and they STILL haven’t been updated, by the way.)

Also, Alastair’s hair: in CoG it was dyed blond, and CC wrote it off implicitly as a racism thing when she decided he was Persian (which I guess happened after the short story where we met Alastair and before TLH) , which would have been fine it if it was an arc written better. Except, I don’t think she realized that it would make Matthew’s comments about Alastair inherently and obviously racist, being a white author. And I doubt that it will be dealt with and named or even acknowledged outright in the final TLH installment.

Kind of the same thing with Cordelia. I’m not saying POC can’t have like red hair because obviously POC don’t come in a prepackaged set of five or six traits that are all configured randomly, but something has always rubbed me the wrong way about the way that CC writes the majority of her POC and especially WOC as exotic. I mean, Kamala as a character is to me a special favorite (even though CC did her dirty and didn’t do a good job portraying her character or intersectional identity) but I rolled my eyes so hard when she had lighter brown or “amber” eyes in canon or officially commissioned art. With Cordelia, I know CC once said she uses henna to redden her hair which is great for her, and I guess I have less of a bone to pick with that because it’s semi(?) realistic, but still. Also the fact that so much of her description as a beautiful person comes from her hair. Again that’s cool, and women of color should be loved wholly including being loved for the parts of them that they freely change (such as Cordelia’s hair) but… the proportion of the fixation on her hair as what makes her lovely rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel like it’s sometimes an out from CC making the ~scandalous~ decision that a woman of color can be beautiful because of the traits she is born with. Idk it’s just for me I had this long standing repulsion towards my colorings and my facial structure and white girls would tell me I was whiny about it and then I finally began to piece together things like “Eurocentric beauty standards.”

Going on a tangent slightly, but something else that bothered me was when Anna insulted Cordelia after buying her those dresses and everyone kinda treating it as a compliment? And just cause Cordelia, a fictional teenager, didn’t get mad about it doesn’t mean readers of color can’t see the underlying racism behind “Cordelia looks MUCH better in these dresses which are SUITED for her skin tone.”

I think that narrative could have been handled much better: if it was Cordelia picking out her own clothes as an act of maturity and self-realization and ownership, if Cordelia herself said (in a different way lol) “Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.” And I think some people will argue that Cordelia’s context makes this too self aware of a development but I would say that it would have been a powerful part of her development outside of her relationships, especially considering that she’s supposed to be a main protagonist. Full arcs for the win baby!

But even aside from all that what bothered me about Anna’s dresses was the fact that it was a white woman showing the “truth” or the “right way” or “saving” a woman of color, a trope which I don’t think CC intended but committed nonetheless. I think from a white author POV the thinking was “Anna is such a free bohemian who lives true to herself and she’s going to help Cordelia become that way too,” which irks me because I feel like that just worked against CC in terms of POC rep and also because that same ideology is used in an attempt to make Anna’s treatment of Kamala justified even though Anna as an out person, with racial and economic privilege and the support of an extensive and powerful family network, pressured and tormented Kamala into coming out.

I have a lot of thoughts on that relationship, mainly: it shouldn’t have been dragged out this long because from the beginning, Every Exquisite Thing, it was clear they were looking for different things. And if CC had left it at that and let them go on their separate ways after a week of knowing each other that would have been fine: Kamala can’t do an out and proud relationship and Anna doesn’t want secrecy, so they’ll develop on their own. And then later Kamala’s pursuit of Anna in the actual TLH books was I think meant to be a thing about “the lengths you’ll go for true love” but it felt forced. Honestly… It just feels icky. like this woman of color is just so hung up on this white woman who abuses her repeatedly and can’t handle her own misogyny and internalizations. And I hate that because both had such awesome potential! To me it’s less that I dislike Anna ( I’d need a whole other post to explain that) and more that I dislike CC for wanting so bad to claim sapphic rep but not wanting to put in the effort to portray it effectively- and pretty much all that entails is writing the relationship without acting like it exists in a pseudo-vacuum where the history and realities of interracial relationships and queerphobia don’t exist in the way we obviously recognize and experience.

And characters like Cordelia and Alastair are amazing and have so much potential; I think the true origin of the problems with their portrayal is that they weren’t really intended as POC or even queer representation in the first place. I don’t know if Cassie would have taken a different approach to her characterization had she known Alastair would be a brown gay man when she first introduced him, but I hope it would have at least made her more conscientious of the inherent application of colonialism and racism in her storytelling from that point onward.

I want to finally add that I’m not saying any portrayal of racism is bad. I’m saying that the racism in the story is not part of a conscious framework that critiques racism appropriately. I think CC wrote the beginnings of the narrative, decided she was going to develop the diversity point content, and then either didn’t look back at the older content to analyze it and the other (white characters) through a new lens of race and outsiderness and queer personhood, or she looked at it and didn’t know what to do with it, or looked at it and didn’t care.

Sorry this got so long! Thanks for listening.

- A.

I feel like CC handled everything poorly in regards to characters who had a lot of potential.

The fact that Cordelia and Alastair are both originally white and it's so obvious in the way every bit of racism is handled by the characters. Matthew's comments in CLS are very important and they should've been handled with the same severity that Alastair's words were. CC changing the characters to POC was a big decision and when she did so she should've went back and actually read her own material. I can assure you that it will not be handled in CHOT, my expectations for CC recognizing the importance and gravity in the words she writes regarding racism or any of her "implied racism" bullshit have gone to the ground.

Because while golden eyes are obviously so easy to write when discussing discrimination obviously racism is out of the question /j

THAT'S EXACTLY IT, women of color in these books are so pathetically rare that on the rare occurrence that she does write them they should all be given these features that aren't as common in POC and written as more beautiful because of those features. I read CHOG after I became more appreciative of my ethnic features but if I had read this a year or so ago? Or even if I had read it after just feeling insecure in general? It would've been awful. The implication is that the lighter features in POC are the most beautiful, with Cordelia's red hair being put on a higher pedestal than her dark eyes and Kamala's eyes being focused on more than her hair (because I literally went back and counted the numbers to prove it and it's exactly what happens.)

I'm sure Cordelia's hair is stunning, but it's the way that when she's described (or more accurately being sexualized) it is just her hair and body that is shown, not the color of her skin or the color of her eyes.

God the pastel thing pisses me off so much. It's not even that Anna tells Cordelia that she would look better in darker colors it's that she says it suits her skin tone. Implying that anyone with brown skin should be barred from wearing pastels. And Kamala? In the few times she is described, she's wearing dark colors or champagne gold, never light blue or purple or pink WHICH HONESTLY SUITS HER PERSONALITY. It's also the way that the dresses Anna sent her are described to be more revealing- it's weird. Anna barely knew her when she started dictating everything that Cordelia could put on her body.

“Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.”

I literally would have loved that. It recognizes that she doesn't need to follow these "rules" on what to wear but still shows her choosing what she wants to wear without making all the darker skinned readers feel like they can't wear a certain color.

I think what some people fail to realize is that these books are also aimed at upper elementary and middle school and a middle schooler with dark skin reading something like that? In a book with characters they love? It's going to be so harmful

Someone else mentioned that CC said Kamanna's relationship was complicated because Kamala didn't defend Anna: Defend her FROM WHAT? Literally what is there to threaten Anna?

These books are filled with tokenism and then praised for it. The idea of Kamala X Anna has so much potential but they're portrayed in such a toxic way. Throughout the last through books Kamala puts herself through so much guilt and regret and turmoil just for Anna to literally use her, blame her, and cast her aside. And it's so fucking annoying because it pushes this idea that this woman of color who was terrified and in an extremely vulnerable position is in the wrong for choosing her safety and presents them as guilty and shameful for doing such a thing.

I would disagree, the portrayal of racism is bad, because it is used at random points in the story and never brought up again, if you interduce racism take it seriously it's not the kind of thing you're meant to half-ass in a book thousands of people will read

I agree on everything else though, so much of these books are incredibly harmful and they are presented to a young audience so it's overall just a gross situation

Thank you for the ask though! I loved answering this, if you ever have anything else you're more than welcome to come back <3

[kindred-is-obsessed]

Reasons you should be watching Craig of the Creek

Not enough people are watching this wonderful show, so I thought I’d do my best to introduce people to it. It’s made by former Steven Universe crew Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, so if you’re missing Steven Universe while it’s on hiatus this is a great way to keep away the hiatus blues, or if you just enjoy in cartoons. It’s great for a whole list of reasons, which broadly fall into the two categories of great representation and great storytelling:

Canonical queer representation

-       The witches premiere in the episode The Curse. If you aren’t sure if you want to watch this whole show definitely watch this one at least! It’s my absolute favourite not least of all because it’s about teen goth girls in love. It has a sequel The Last Kid in The Creek which is also wonderful, and the witches cameo throughout the series. I don’t want to spoil too much but The Curse is essentially about the two not wanting to be separated and struggling to admit their feelings for each other. (Spoilers: they do and walk off alone, blushing, staring at each other lovingly, while the kids aww at them)

-       Bernard and his girlfriend watch a cooking show hosted by a gay couple.

-       Other cameos, hints and coded queer kids such as JP’s sister (who has fancy dinner reservations with Kat, a woman with a shaved head who compliments Kelsey’s fake sword). There’s also Raj and Shaun (two very close friends), as well as several very boyish tomboys, including Handlebarb and Turner.

-       All public bathrooms I’ve spotted in the show have gender neutral signs on them which is nice.

POC representation

-       Craig, the main character, is black and has a loving family explored in depth, including an activist grandmother working for the council, a wise and fun grandfather, a supportive fun dad who loves his amazing wife, an adorable assertive little sister, and an angsty overachieving older brother who just wants to be a good grownup who loves his family and girlfriend.  

-       There are MANY characters of colour. There are black and brown characters, Raj is Indian, Stacks is Hispanic (and it’s implied she is an immigrant), there are several Asian characters, Kelsey is Hungarian and Jewish, a persistent background character wears a hijab (I’m pretty sure she was named at some point but I can’t find her name anywhere. She definitely has lines at one point). I’m sure there are others I have missed. No one is a stereotype as far as I am aware.

Subtle neurodivergent representation

-       JP is possibly on the autism spectrum. I’d love neurodivergent people’s opinions on this, but while the representation isn’t canonical or obvious I think it’s good that while JP is represented as having different thought processes from his friends, he isn’t made fun of for it, at least not by them. It’s noteworthy I think that he’s the eldest of the core trio, probably because he finds it easier to relate to younger people who still share his imagination and care less about his unique way of thinking. His neurodivergence is explored most explicitly in the episode Jextra Perrestrial, so if you’re interested in this kind of representation definitely check that episode out.

Non-nuclear family representation

-       While the main character is a member of the typical nuclear family you see on TV (except black, and actually interesting) most of the other families we see are not.

-       JP is raised by his mother and older sister. His father is never mentioned and their house is definitely in worse condition than the others we see. His family works hard to take care of each other. His sister is a nurse and both her and her mother are away a lot of the time, but they both love JP very much. JP’s sister also happens to be really openly body positive. I love them a lot.

-       Kelsey’s father is an only parent. There’s still a lot of mystery surrounding how Kelsey’s mother passed away. It’s a very subtle but important part of Kelsey’s character and comes through in really bittersweet adorable ways (not limited to Kelsey using her “half-orphan”ness to guilt trip a man into giving her money)

-       Other kinds of families are scattered throughout the show, including families that move around a lot, a home-school kid with a strict mother, and more.

Unique approach to fantasy and sci-fi

-       You know how most kids show will take a kid’s fantasy and bring it to reality? Well Craig of the Creek keeps the fantastical and nostalgic element of that line of thinking but never confirms or denies whether the kids fantasies are real or in their heads. And not in a Scooby Doo way where the fantastical elements are explained away, but are hinted as a possibility right at the very end. Instead, two perspectives (the fantastical perspective and the realistic perspective) are woven into every episode.

-       This means there are two ways to interpret every episode. You can view the witches as real witches, or as goth teenagers. You can view Helen as a kid from another dimension, or a home-school kid who is never at the creek at the same time as the other kids. You can view Deltron as a cyborg from the future, or as an imaginative kid from a big city.

-       This is super unique and fun to watch. They come up with so many new ideas and its always fun to figure out what’s actually happening, while still getting to relive childhood fantastical nostalgia.

-       Almost all of these episodes use this to talk about an issue, but these issues can get quite complex and are definitely not shoved down your throat.

Overarching mystery plot about a colonialist kingdom / cult

-       Love the slow burn storytelling of Steven Universe’s Diamond Authority? Love putting together the mysteries of Gravity Falls? Then you’ll love this plot about colonialism, classism, bullying, peer pressure and more and its mysterious build up including cryptic graffiti art and flower symbolism.

-       Even before this arc properly begins, Craig of The Creek primarily centers around the microcosm of the Creek. Many of the episodes have a lot of commentary on society, politics and how different factions of people form and interact.

-       The show is over 50 episodes in and this arc is only just starting to kick off so now is the time to catch up and watch.

-       Fun complex villain(s)

Complex relatable characters

-       Want commentary and nostalgia about horse girls, children’s tea parties, weird kids, angsty teens, young weebs, dweebs and more!? Every childhood obsession is represented in this show.

-       Adults! All the parents and older teens in this show are just as rich and complex as the kids. They are all so interesting and fun.  

-       Want characters with arcs, aims, fun relationships and complexity!? Look no further! Redemption arcs! Revelations! Found family! It’s all here!

Great art and soundtrack

-       Cute background and character designs that make you nostalgic as hell and are also beautiful and well thought out.

-       Sometimes the art design is changed up for a particular episode to portray a certain fantastical / sci fi element. It’s very fun and engaging. 

-       An opening song that’s fun to sing along to, bittersweet ending song that makes me want to cry, a couple of musical episodes including a super fun rap musical episode, and a great OST

Queer headcanons

-       There are tons of ways to interpret the show but here’s some of my head canons just to get an idea.

-       (Note that despite my headcanons I use the pronouns for the kids that they use in the show cause I’m not certain about any of it and they’re kids who haven’t come out yet and also for clarity and consistency’s sake – I’m not saying trans people are not their genders. Don’t worry I’m nonbinary)

-       I headcanon that all the main trio grow up to realise they are queer. They strike me as that weird group of friends that doesn’t fit in with the other kids and aren’t quite sure how they all came to be friends, only to later realise they all showed early signs of breaking gender roles and that’s why they stuck together.

-       Craig definitely grows up to realise he’s gay, bisexual or queer. His admiration for characters like Deltron and Green Poncho are definitely crushes that he mistakes for a strong sudden and eager desire for friendship.

-       Kelsey probably grows up to realise she is nonbinary, a trans boy or a WLW. I mostly headcanon this because I relate to her a lot and I’m nonbinary and queer so I said so. She reminds me a lot of myself as a kid. She throws herself into books, mostly fantasy for escapism. She fantasises and writes a lot for the same reasons. She dresses like a tomboy (She always wears her hair up in the same bun which strongly reminds me of my own childhood hair dysphoria) and she hangs out solely with male friends.

-       JP gives me strong trans lesbian vibes, or to a lesser extent nonbinary vibes. (I know his sister is WLW coded but take it from me there can be more than one queer in a family). He is interested in girls, specifically Maney the horse girl (he even joined the horse girls for one episode). He wears a long V-neck shirt that is essentially a dress ALL the time. He’s aware that he’s different and while self conscious sometimes, mostly just wants to express himself the way he wants to. He also chooses to go by initials JP over his very gendered name Johnathan Paul (In a recent episode he names a ship after himself, calling it “The SS Johnathon Paulina”).

-       (Sidenote if you do start watching this show and I see any nasty shipping of these characters in non puppy-love fashion so help me god)

 Other reasons

-       The show is at times very intertextual and references Princess Mononoke, Super Smash Brothers, Sailor Moon, Lord of the Rings, and a billion other things. It also has some fun cameos, including background images of the Tres Horny Boys from The Adventure Zone, a TARDIS from Doctor Who, and a Cookie Cat from Steven Universe.

-       Honestly, this post hasn’t done the best job explaining why I love this show so much. You honestly just have to watch an episode to understand fully what I’m talking about, so give it a go! Watch The Curse at least, it only goes for 10 minutes.

[nick-n-judy]

Voltron S8 - ????

Okay so this is just a rant I had to put out because I’m !!! about it.

First of all, I see so much negativity about vld right now - some of which is deserved and some I don’t think is. This season was beautiful - the scenes, main plot, the music, the acting - amazing.

Something that I’ve always loved the show for was it’s subtlety. Most other shows put in POC or LGBT characters in for the views and to be “PC”, while making several comments and hints throughout to make sure you understand that “look we’ve got representation! look we did what you want!” To me, representation has always been about portraying the things represented as normal parts of everyday life. Not making sure everyone understands they’re gay or making black/Hispanic/Asian jokes or comments so you understand they’re POC. It’s always just...been there. Shiro is Japanese, Lance is Latino, Pidge, Hunk, and Keith are American (/part Galra), as well as mixed alien races, too. Looking at the garrison and the crew of the Atlas, I was astounded at the unusual (in TV shows) mix of different people of colour who were featured characters, and yet I didn’t feel like it was being slammed into my face. To me, Shiro being gay but not saying anything about it made sense, because to walk around during times of war saying “hey I’m gay” didn’t make sense. All the paladins from the garrison will have already known since Adam was a teacher, as was Shiro. Their engagement would have been known to everyone. (but hey we could have done with a ring).

That’s what I loved so much about Shiro’s ending. They showed him moving on, actually showing the scene of the wedding and a kiss even though it wasn’t really expected (or necessary, it could have just been a still shot like the others). I was actually a little disappointed to find out he’d married a guy who had been in the crew all along and we never got any hints - but then again I don’t think they were together in the year later sequence, so romance was a long time away from our last scene of them.

Lance....my poor boy. No ending arch. No character development. No star quality ending like he deserved. He was the sharp shooter. And you’re telling me he just...farmed? He left the red lion and his now half Altean heritage and went back to earth and grew flowers? Allura’s flowers? Literally everything in his life was devoted to Allura even after her death. And Allura only showed her love for him once - right before she died.

The truth is, the writers had a very easy choice if they wanted A//urance to become canon: make it happen, kill off Allura, and then give him a new purpose and someone new (Keith, cough cough), or keep Allura alive and let them live out their days together (hopefully actually in Altea). Coran rebuilt Altea, Pidge made robots with Matt, Hunk cooked his way through diplomacy meetings and Shiro was part of the coalition. Not to mention Keith - who did so much for the Galra. And they made the sharp shooter a farmer?!

That’s not even taking into account the blatant queer baiting. Lance was supposed to get someone to choose him first - and he’d already chosen Allura first, so that didn’t make sense, right? Plus, Allura had fallen for Lotor already. Lance was supposed to have a slow burn relationship - that lasted a season. Lance was supposed to have moments with someone he hadn’t had moments with in season seven - and he’d had plenty of moments with Allura. Everything the cast and directors said about Lance turned out to be a lie. They gave Klance cinematic parallels to other couples in the show, bonding throughout the seasons, a truly romantic moment in the first episode of season eight, and they didn’t even hint towards it happening in the future?? Lance could have worked with Keith, strengthening the alliance between the Galra and the Alteans. But he farmed. On earth. Even though Keith had been the one he turned to - was comforted by - when Allura rejected him and pushed him away for Lotor.

After everything, I held onto hope - because they’d said we should make sure to watch till the end. This is it, I thought. This is where they even make some kind of skit scene that hints towards Klance (or any future relationship for Lance tbh). But...it was Allura. Again.

I didn’t mind Allura’s death - but I thought she should have gotten some kind of reward for the terrible life she’d had to live through so far. If they had given her and Lance a proper relationship, rather than a two kisses, a tiny bit of cuddling, and a few mentions, then maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad - she had gotten love and a family. But she didn’t. She just...died.

Subtlety is great - but not when you don’t even say it. Shiro and Adam were subtlety. Shiro and his new husband were subtlety. But only putting Lance in a picture with an LGBT card and then possibly pulling a JK Rowling in the future and saying “oh well he was gay, we just never said” is not representation. That’s pulling it out of the bag because you want to look good.

Another problem - if they could show Shiro getting married and kissing another man...why couldn’t they make Ezor and Zethrid even say they were together? Or Veronica and Acxa, who obviously had chemistry?

There were also no moments between Shiro and Keith?

Honestly, the season was beautiful and I enjoyed it very much, but it was really Lance that did it in for me. I really liked the Honerva backstory, and the episode that followed Kinkade so much.

In the end, I feel like they’re going to drop season nine on us. Or else...they screwed up the end of an amazing show.

[blcodyhell]

What happened: the truth, not word of mouth.

                My initial post was one where I stated the simple truth of the impossibility of me being racist or phobic of any sort; that remains, but ever since this whole issue broke out, three people maturely approached me to clarify things, to tell me EXACTLY what it was that I had said that offended them instead of calling me things out of assumption,  &  I was able to have some mind-opening conversations, which was exactly the thing I had wanted from the beginning,  &  the reason I had been so angry  &  disappointed at everyone: because everyone went to a third party  &  spread slander about me instead of maturely coming to me to talk.  But what is done is done,  &  all I can do is  a d d r e s s  what those three people have told me  &  the truth it reached at. 

NUMBER ONE: ‘forcing diversity’ 

                Boy did I word that wrong; it did not in ANY way mean that I thought casting PoC was wrong, it did not meant that I wanted everyone to stop doing fancasts with PoC in them, it did not mean that I hate PoC  ( that would mean hating myself,  &  I no longer do, haven’t for years )   &  it did not mean that I hate representation, at all. What I meant by the words forcing diversity was that, as an actress myself, I know there is a thing going on in the movie/tv world where people are cast ONLY for being different, someone I spoke with called it ‘the Token role’  ( they said ‘girl’ but for the sake of this post I’ll include all genders ),   &  that is exactly what I meant.  Example: if they’re making a new version of Legally Blonde with the mask of an open casting  &  they tell me        ‘Oh yeah, we’ll hire you, you can be the next Legally blonde. Having a Latina Elle would bring us so much more money because it would get people talking’         I would HATE that so much, I would decline the offer, because I refuse to be USED for my differences.  BUT if they told me,        ‘Hell yeah, you can be the next Elle, you bring up her personality so well, no one else has done it the way you have, we’d only need you to die your hair blonde for the sake of the character.’          THEN I’d be like !!!!!!  ‘YES THIS WILL MAKE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE ME SEE A HERO ON THE SCREEN OMFG YES YES YES YES, I’M IN.’ 

                THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT LIKE TO SEE DIVERSE EDITS AROUND, OR THAT I WANT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO STOP MAKING THEM BECAUSE ‘IT’S WRONG’. That is what got lost in translation; first of all I never said         ‘this is just wrong, it shouldn’t be done’,          because I don’t think it is wrong, how can it be when it makes people happy?  I do not discourage edits  ( hell, I didn’t know I even had that power ),  I do not want ANYONE to stop making them, because I know that making those edits makes some people feel included in such a way that I didn’t understand before I had some conversations  ( I will go into further detail on this specific point a little later ),  nor did it mean that I think PoC should never be given opportunities or roles, or anything of the sort, if it did, then I’d be putting fire on myself: I   a m   a PoC actress MYSELF, it only meant that I won’t make any, me, alone. 

                But you said the friends of Narnia should only be white and it was wrong to make them anything but,    Yes, well, I also worded that wrong, VERY VERY wrong, I was not paying attention only to that conversation so the words were placed horribly around  &  it made me sound like a twat.  No, what I meant was that I have  &  always will think going against the author’s word is not right to me; I will always hold the author’s descriptions  &  their decisions about the world THEY created  ( except for J.K’s ‘cause let’s be real, she’s reaching so fucking far )  over any other opinion,  &  that is why I couldn’t see the Pevensies or any of the friends of Narnia as anything but white; but that is what I saw when I read the books when Lewis called them   ‘fair skinned  &  fair haired’,   we all have different imaginations  &  that’s what’s amazing about books.   It was very  w o n d e r f u l l y  pointed out to me, though, that white can also be PoC that pass as white, or that have very pale skin as well,  &  though I hadn’t thought of that, yeah, that would also work very well, but just like I said above: as long as these people are cast for TALENT  &  not the Token rule. 

                In conclusion to point number one: a) I would love the world to always cast for talent, not for differences.  b) All the opinions expressed are about what I as a solitary independent person would do, not what I want everyone else to do, I promise I never meant to make anyone think I discouraged them or disapproved or thought them anything but valid. 

NUMBER TWO: ‘I don’t see the point of the term pansexuality’ 

                I never understood the reason I got so much hate out of that sentence, when it was literally me asking for help so the term pansexual could be explained to me; it now has,  &  for it, I can finally speak up about this. 

                I am a bisexual girl,  &  because I grew up during the time in which only three terms existed for sexuality  ( heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual )  I was taught that the ‘sexual’ part of the words had nothing to do with anything but the sex organ the person had, the two being vagina   &   penis; it is why I was always against the term pansexual because I kept thinking that people using that term were saying that trans people were not real women or men!  I was so absolutely outraged at the fact because, to me, it seemed hypocritical of them to claim that ‘TRANS MEN  &  WOMEN ARE REAL MEN  & WOMEN!”    &   then call themselves Pansexual in such a way that it excluded trans people within the man  &  woman spectrum!  I was so honestly outraged because the thing in capital letters is exactly what I believe  &  know: trans men  &  women are as real as non trans men  &  women. 

                Since then, though, not only have I learnt of the term intersex   &   how awfully I called those people hermaphrodites before, but I also learn that in present time the ‘sexual’ in any of the orientations have NOTHING to do with the sex organ itself, but the gender, for which I know there are many, many, many options.  Yes, I have never been entirely comfortable with all the options in existence because I think it makes already phobic people even MORE phobic  &  thinking that we’re doing it for attention; I KNOW we are not doing it for attention, but I know that that is what phobic people can think.  But, again, that also got lost in translation into making it sound like I simply didn’t understand or accepted all of these new labels being created, because, how can  a n y t h i n g  that is making so many people feel at home  &  identified be wrong?  I don’t think it’s wrong, hell, I encourage it!  Find your label, feel at home!  I went exactly through the same sort of thing for my religion, when I called myself Aztec; many people call that just polytheist, but to me that could mean I believe in Norse, Greek, or any possible array of Gods,   &   no, I am AZTEC because I believe in the Aztec gods, nothing more.  So having gone through that myself I understand why it can be important to find your label; it IS important,   &   it’s a wonderful thing.

                I am terrified of those people that can think we’re creating all these labels for the sake of attention, because I know what being told that can do to a person, but that in no way means I discourage it, or don’t believe in it, or think anyone who chooses a label in the Queer spectrum of the LGBTQA+ is not valid; literally, never once did I say that.  I love humans without caring about differences, I literally think ANYONE is valid as long as they don’t hurt others; I worry for those who are not at home with themselves being told ‘you’re doing it for attention’ because I  k n o w  what that feels like, I always worry about everyone else when I know that things don’t or are not going to fall badly on me. 

                In conclusion to number two: a) I understand the term pansexuality now, b) I think everyone is valid with any label they feel at home in, c) I encourage people to find their label  &  find their home. 

NUMBER THREE: The thing I didn’t understand because I forgot about my past.

                One thing you need to understand about me is that I don’t ever think I have any power over anyone, thus I failed to understand how people could be so absolutely offended by stuff I’ve said when I’m only a person on a computer that they’ll probably never even meet irl; if some stranger comes at me and tells me       ‘you are disgusting, your sexuality is not real, you’re only doing it for attention’,         I literally laugh to their face  &  tell them       ‘It’s sad that that’s your opinion, I wish you would learn a little more, good thing you won’t be invited to my wedding, whomever it is to.’       Why?  Because I am confident in my own self, I love my self,  &  I don’t need anyone’s acceptance or validation other than my own; I believe very strongly in what I believe in, so I don’t need everyone AGREEING with me about it, I am enough; the only opinions that truly matter to me are those of my parents  ( who I am lucky see the world the way I do: differences are as important to know as horoscopes, you don’t go around telling everyone ‘I’m a libra!’ Human is human )   &  my closest, closest friends.  People online can call me things   &   they literally fall off my shoulder like dust.

       I made the most enormous  &  horrible mistake of forgetting that not everyone is like me. 

                You see, I wasn’t born like this, I wasn’t confident always, I, too, at some point needed validation from the world in ways that are very personal  &  I refuse to put in public,  &  I forgot that, I forgot that there are some people that have so much self doubt that one stranger not saying outright ‘you’re valid’ can literally have a big effect on them, I know that feeling, I lived  &  felt that feeling from the moment I was born until I was about 14-16, which was when I found my ability to be confident in what I believe in,  &  because it has been so long since I have felt it I simply  &  horribly forgot that other people may feel it still,  &  for that, with my heart completely in my hands I tell you: I’M SORRY. It was really dumb of me to state my opinions so undetailedly  &  with loose words when not being specific could do what has been done here, hurt people, in ways I simply forget could be done.  Blame my age if you will, but I genuinely didn’t think such things could be done online, only with people face to face or close to you; I  f o r g o t  what it felt like, I forgot my past,  &  I hurt people in the process, so I am sorry. You can be sure that from now on I will pay more attention to what I say for this reason. 

               Thus my conclusion about this is simply a genuine feeling in the direction of all those that I either hurt, or that have nothing to do with this situation but are reading this post: I am deeply  &  wholeheartedly sorry, you ARE valid, important, beautiful  &  wonderful people that I thought I had said endless enough times to make it clear I thought so, but I won’t ever make that same mistake again. I will  r e m i n d  you of how wonderful all of you are whenever I can, because you ARE wonderful  &  important,  &  valid in any way you are  ( as long as you’re not hurting anyone ),  you really are.  &  I love you, for all those people who are awful  &  have made you doubt yourself, I love you,  &  I’m sorry. 

NUMBER FOUR: The request. 

                It is exactly for that, the heaviness  &  power that words have, that I most humbly ask you to be careful what you say to people;  &  that includes the very things I have been called.  Yes, I am very confident in myself,  &  I don’t need the internet’s approval, which is why I’m able to be sad about this whole situation for nothing other than the fact that I lost some friends because they didn’t let me explain things; but just like I have discovered, you have to realise that not everyone is like that.  Some other person you call a racist  &  phobic CAN end up feeling as awful as you felt when I didn’t validate what you thought in outright words.  Racist, Nazi  &  Homophobic are VERY powerful words that tumblr has made seem like nothing,  &  they can hurt, so, I say, for the sake of everyone else, instead of  i m m e d i a t e l y  accusing someone of bigotry, racism, or phobia, I ask that you approach them, speak to them outright with a simple question, because, for all you know, this same sort of misunderstanding of lack of caring about words could happen,  &  big bad words are hurtful, too.   If someone else in my position wasn’t so confident in themselves, they could begin to think of themselves as hypocrites or literally worse only because they didn’t word things right.  So please, be careful, just like I promise that I will be. 

                &,  again, I am most deeply sorry for all the hurt I have caused for my careless words; I love everyone, I assure you, I do,  &  from now on I will make sure any word I write says exactly that specifically.  Please do smile at least once simply because you can, you are important  &  wonderful,  &  I PRAY one day you are able to see such a thing for yourself as well. 

All the love, always ~Mel

[problemsofabooknerd]

LGBTQIA+ BookTubers You Should Be Subscribed To

Pride Day 4!

Check out the intro to my Pride project here.

Here’s a thing you probably already know if you follow this blog: I’m a lesbian BookTuber! For the uninitiated, BookTube is a specific subset of YouTube that involves talking about all things bookish. You want reviews? Recommendations? Discussions? People screaming about their favorite new releases? That’s BookTube in a nutshell. But, when you first join the community, it can be a little harder to find LGBTQIA+ BookTubers. Fear not, we’re out there! And today I’m recommending my favorite channels run by some of my favorite humans. If you want a quick shorlist, I have already posted one of those, but this one will get more in-depth with the kind of videos these lovely people post, and the books they read. 

Perpetualpages - This channel is run by the amazing Adriana. If you want in-depth discussions of books (some that you probably have heard of, some that you haven’t) they are the person to follow. Adriana constantly highlights queer lit, Latinx lit, and so much other diverse content. You will never run out of recommendations, and every single video they post leaves me speechless as far as giving me new insights on books and media. Their discussion videos also always astound me, and are some of my favorite content on BookTube. 

WoolfsWhistle - Nicole is out here, ready to give you all the sapphic book recommendations you could ever need. Ok, she reads beyond sapphic content. In fact, plenty of variety as far as LGBTQIA+ content is on her channel, but I’ve also gotten some of my all-time favorite wlw books from recommendations in her videos. Her video, Summer Reads for Queer Ladies, is how I found her channel originally and its such a solid introduction to her content. Nicole also has a really excellent mix of books that are super hyped, as well as ones I haven’t seen mentioned anywhere else. 

Danika Leigh Ellis - In all likelihood, if you are into finding books with sapphic content, you’ve probably seen some of Danika’s writing already. She manages The Lesbrary, plus @biandlesbianliterature here on tumblr. AND she’s a Book Riot contributor. Honestly, if you are looking for any kind of book that features sapphic ladies, Danika is the person to go to. Her videos are just as informative and full of recommendations as her posts around the internet, and she’s all around a delightful human. Also, she created the LGBTQIA+ BookTube tag so go through this playlist and you will find lots of others who have done this video. 

The Boy Who Cried Books - Joseph is here to be queer and talk about queer lit. I actually first happened across his channel when he challenged himself to read nothing but queer books for a full year, and he documented that through a bunch of wrap ups and other videos. Check out that full playlist of Year of Queer videos here! Joseph is hilarious, and constantly highlighting books about queer and/or POC folks, so you should 100% be watching his channel.

Kayley Hyde - Kayley has been doing YouTube for like ten years which is kind of mind-boggling to me, but in more recent years her channel has become a bit more book focused. She’s super sweet, always talks about queer books - mostly contemporary, but plenty of other genres mixed in there as well. Plus, and this is only slightly unrelated, but she has the BEST instagram, and it is full of pictures of Kayley and her girlfriend that I gush over daily. 

Wish Fulfillment - Sylwia is one of my favorite people on the internet, and I cannot possibly gush enough about her. Her entire channel is super focused on so many forms of representation, from feminism to mental health to the queer community and more, and every wrap up features a super in-depth look at at least a couple of the books she’s read recently. She covers a wide variety of genres (and has said in the past it’s her goal to get into every genre out there), so there is a little something for every viewer. Sylwia is deeply supportive, incredibly smart, and I love every single piece of content she uploads. 

TeaLeavesandBookBindings - What’s fabulous about Ashley, at least for me, is that we read similar books, but I feel like Ashley always has something new to add about them that I didn’t think about, or she has a wildly different opinion that can really change my perspective. We can hype books together, and then have totally opposing opinions that I love to discuss with her. She also always brings variety to her content on YouTube and I adore that. Her Reading While Queer video series started right about the same time that Danika created the LGBTQIA+ BookTube Tag, and it is an utterly engaging mix of discussion of books, representation, and anger. She’s fabulous.

Iris Moon - I have been watching Iris’ channel since right around when I first joined BookTube, and it’s been amazing to watch them grow as a reader, as a reviewer, and as a person. They’ve always been super academic and intriguing with their reviews (the thing that initially drew me to their channel) and I have constantly found totally unexpected books through their wrap ups and recommendations. They also created the Representation Book Tag, which Iris tagged me to do as well and I promise it will happen soon, but it’s fantastic and super enlightening so check that out!

DylantheReader5 - If you’re anywhere on book Twitter, you must have seen Dylan by now. I mean, he’s everywhere. Also, I adore him, just putting that out there. Dylan reads primarily contemporary, mostly emotional contemporary, mystery, and romance. He’s also mega friendly, hilarious, and I spend most of my life sad we live far away so I can’t hug him. It’s a disaster on geography’s part. But if you aren’t already watching his videos, fix that right this second! 

Things Lucy Reads - Luce is another BookTuber I feel like I’ve been watching for years! I feel like she’s one of those OG queer BookTubers that has been doing the work for so long, and I live for it. The BookTube Code of Silence videos remains one of my all-time favorites in terms of rep and how we discuss it online, but overall Luce constantly recommends incredible underrated books. Plus I never get tired of her Star Wars content.

xreadingsolacex - Kav!! Is such a gift to our community! I adore their videos, their frank and honest discussion of books, and the recommendations I get from their channel, but honestly Kav is a delightful part of bookish internet in every sense. They’re always cheering people on in the comments (sometimes I get a comments blast from Kav and I get super emotional about it), and they also talk so extensively online about representation, the book community, and how we all can constantly be doing better. Truly, I love them in every way and you should too.

That’s it for the channel highlights! There are lots more LGBTQIA+ BookTubers out there for you to find beyond this list, I promise. You could be watching Riley Marie, Ben Alderson, TheHufflePuffleBooks, jennaclarek, Winx & Ink, TheIrishReader, Pucksandpaperbacks, George Lester, and Peter Likes Books. Also check out this playlist by Danika of Queer Women Booktubers! Alright, that’s all from me today, but be sure to check back tomorrow if you’re looking for some queer SFF.

[fiendslothful]

1, 2, 12?🖤

1. How many books did you read this year?

I think about 6 or 7 books at the most, or 4 or 5 at the least. I honestly remember like reading only 4 books this year lol.

2. Did you reread anything? What?

Yeah, two things this year. The first book I reread was The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue. This was kind of an overdue third reread. I got it when I was 14 and I understood none of it. I reread during Easter because we went away for those days. It was a nice time :). Plus at the same time, my sister and I were watching Emma 2020 on the motel's tv and we just kept rewatching it over and over. It was a nice companion piece to the book despite the difference in era, plot, cast, aesthetic, progression, etc.

The second book I reread was The Poet X. I got it out again at the library and I remembered why I loved it in the first place. I'm not Dominican in any way like the lead character is, but god I saw so much of myself in her, especially this time around since the last time I read it about three ish years ago. It was a really good book, I reccomend it :).

12. Any books that disappointed you?

(Incoming rant-ish and spoilers)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was disappointing in a few aspects, though not in the way I thought it would be. When this book first came out, everyone gushed about how diverse the book is and how great said diversity is. Like, I agree it has good diversity, but my god is some of it poorly written.

Now, the queer characters in the book? They're fine, they're great even. I have issues with one of the characters, but that may be a topic for another day. It's not them who I have an issue with, but I have an issue with the poc characters in the book, mainly Monique and how she was written.

In the first page of the first chapter of the book, we find out from Monique that her boss Frankie is black and that she herself is biracial. And the wording of how she describes her boss and herself to me is...off? Like, here's the quotes.

"I'm not sure that you'd say she was coventionally attractive–her features are severe, her eyes very wide apart–but she is nevertheless someone you can't help but look at and admire. With her thin, six-foot-tall frame, her short-cropped Afro, and her affinity for bright colors and big jewelry, when Frankie walks into a room, everyone takes notice." — Monique about her boss, page 4, Chapter 1.

"...And if I'm being honest, there is something very inspiring about having a black woman running things. As a biracial woman myself–light brown skin and dark brown eyes courtesy of my black father, an abundance of face freckles courtesy of my white mother–Frankie makes me feel more sure that I can one day run things, too." — Monique about herself, page 4, Chapter 1.

Now, it could be just me feeling like this, but the way these quotes are written and worded is just off to me. When I first read those quotes, I had to stop reading and try and process what the hell I just read, because as someone who question her identity as a Māori girl sometimes and where that places me in both the world and my family, not once have I ever thought of myself like this or described myself like this..

Really, it's only Monique who talks about race this way. Yes, there are a few bits in the book where Evelyn talks about her identity as a Cuban - American woman that rang just a teeny bit hollow, but the writing of that side of her character is, to me at least, a lot better than how Monique's own struggle with her race is written.

After having read the book, I looked up reviews for the book on Youtube, and most of the reviewers were white girl fawning over how amazing the representation was, and how diverse it was. And it just frustrates me because they just don't know or care. They gush about the representation, but when they do, they barely mention Monique (literally most of the time everybody would just say "Monique is biracial" and move on) or just completely don't mentuon her at all.

I had looked up the author, Taylor Jenkins Reid, and found that she was white and straight. As I was looking for stuff about the book, I found some reviews and an interview with the author. In those reviews, they mostly agree with me in that the writing of race is overall off. In the interview, Taylor Jenkins Reid said some interesting things that I'll let you read for yourself:

The interview.

One of the reviews.

Another review.

I am more frustrated with this aspect of the book, but I am disappointed in the end because the book is so well written and well told, so when it cuts to racial issues, it feels jarring to me. Despite this, I really liked the book. Now idea how I would rate it.

[a-magpie-witchling]

What's the deal with the drama surrounding that slur? What happened?

SUMMARIZING A LOT(yes, I promise the long post is summarized. If you support me, it would mean a lot to me if you read it, since people turning a blind eye has been the problem)

The context

There’s a game, and in the game there are 4 characters, two of them are poc and two are white. One of the white ones and the other two are friends and in a part of the story in a flashback they were making fun of the other white guy who is an utter piece of shit but is dying of a plague the main trio is looking the cure for, since the whole country is basically dying of it. A person pointed out that the bullying’s not very hero-like of the main trio, since they’re supposed to be the good guys and just look like a bunch of incompetent idiots while bullying the guy who has brought them together with the objective of healing him and by proxy healing the whole country. So far in every flashback of the story these three are seen fooling around, chit chatting, having sex, taking vacations, etc. The trio consists of a doctor (the white guy), a wizard, and a countess. Now the doctor and the wizard have been seen kinda… trying? To cure the plague, but just barely. The countess however hasn’t been shown doing anything of actual value, even though theoretically we know she’s ruling the damn country. But so far we’ve only seen her in her down time.

The problem

I didn’t know the person that pointed this out. I don’t agree with their point but I did say that this is an issue that takes place a lot with false representation in media, especially with women, especially with women of color, and almost always with queer women of color. They’re written as these amazing badasses in paper, and then when it comes to the story their overqualifications don’t *do* anything because advancing the plot is something left for cis white male everyman protagonists.

So we’re left with this unused resource that is just there as a token Strong Minority Representative Character™ that has no actual use in the story whatsoever and that is just there to make minorities including women shut the hell up because what else could we possibly want!?

This is a problem. A big one. And very similar to queerbaiting. I’m sure there must be a name for it.

So I pointed out that the countess is a black woman who is in the highest position of power in the setting and yet we’ve never seen her *do* anything related to that. She has lost her memory in game, so we see her drinking wine with some courtesans a couple of times, but what about law making? What about actual leadership? And this is especially troublesome in the flashbacks in the game because back then she was the only ruler and had her memories, so she was at the top of her game and still we’ve only seen her literally drink tea or wine, take a vacation, get drunk and splash in a fountain with her friends, and talk about eating delicacies.

We know theoretically that this isn’t everything she’s doing, because logically it couldn’t possibly be, that this is just her in her downtime. But then people say “this is NOT a strong queer female character of color” and they have the canonical backup of “she’s lazy and does nothing”. And this is something caused by poor writing.

It’s called dissonance of framing.

Theory: powerful queer black woman who is the leader, strong character.Screen time: queer black woman who does absolutely nothing of use with her time or extremely big skill set, token minority character.

The drama

The drama started because I pointed this out and immediately found people were calling the OP racist. As I said, I don’t know this person, at all, but in their page they had bio info that said they were from the Netherlands. They were really pissed at them because they used the word “colored” instead of saying “of color”. So I pointed out that if you’re gonna call someone racist, it can’t be because of the accidental use of a racial slur when they’re not native English speakers.

I was told then that they refused to listen to me for coddling a racist, to which I answer “I’m not, I don’t know this person, if they have been racist (turned up they were) to fucking hell with them, but I’ve seen this happen in real life and it got ugly very fast because non-conservative American young people or Americanized foreigners that are in constant contact with them (see most of Tumblr) forget that sometimes there are culturar barriers that aren’t easy to break especially if you speak different native tongues. I always give the benefit of the doubt because in my country the N word is used to say sweetie or darling, and I’ve seen a black girl break down in tears and be very rightfully pissed because she spoke Mexican Spanish (I think) but that didn’t mean she knew this particular cultural gap, and nobody around her thought of explaining it or being mindful, to quote just one of a dozen examples. We need to give people some leverage if a single misused word can end up ostracizing them. If I see them being racist, I’ll bring the torch. Else we could be incurring in racism or xenophobia ourselves.”

These people said that they would not read what I had to say.

They said that I had to learn to shut the fuck up.

They said that I should learn the language.

They called me a dipshit and told me I wasn’t valid.

After calling me a dipshit and telling me to shut the fuck up, I told them that I didn’t expect to have a conversation with them because they were two 19 yos one dissing and the other one hollering “TELL EM BESTIE!” in the back, and then they said they wouldn’t answer to me more because “I was being condescending”.

And this happens all the time. These people have never seen my face. They know I’m latina though. They’re both half white and trying to tell me I’m not interested in POC because I coddle racism, which is, again, not true. I’m saying I don’t go for the throat if I see an honest vocabulary mistake being made. They tell me I would know the difference if I was interested, because I’m on Tumblr and it’s a word you come across all the time.

I’ve been on Tumblr for 3 months.

Guys, colored is a 50′s racial slur, it’s not something you hear every day. I have been a fluent English speaker for almost a decade now, and I found out the word ‘colored’ existed just one year ago playing Bioshock Infinte, a game that takes place in the 1910′s. This is a mistake I could have made a mere year ago!

So, clearly, it’s not a word you get to hear every day. Shit, the first time someone called me a wetback I had to google it.

But these people refused to hear anything I had to say. They’ve been in the fandom of this game for a much longer time than I have so now I’ve been cut off entirely. I was ostracized, insulted, removed from a discord server, given the entire cold shoulder, all for saying that I won’t immediately think someone’s racist for accidentally using one of the dozens upon dozens of racial slurs that exist in the English language when they’re not a native speaker. When I started digging I found this person was being in fact quite racist, so I told them to go fuck themselves and then blocked them.

Damage is done, though. And honestly? Who the fuck cares. I know what I said, I know what I think, I know I am right, so these people can eat a dick given that they chose to not hear.

And that’s why I say that screaming BLATANT RACISM at a single easily made vocabulary mistake by a non-native English speaker is a big setback in the cause of fighting actual blatant racism.

But the truth is that it’s better this way. It’s gonna sound like I’m victimizing myself, but honestly, if I had to choose, I’d choose a non-racist (as much as one can actually be, of course) be ostracized and called racist, than an actual racist being excused and coddled.

So yeah, that’s what happened.

[niksemosmusic]

MANIA Album Review 🌊

I have been waiting for this album since they announced it last April, so of course I had to write a critique of the album. 😅

Let me start by saying this: Song order matters. When I got the digital download, I thought the songs were out of order (which I now know they weren't), so that's how I listened to them. Being in the proper order, I feel like the tracks are grouped in pairs (the next one complementing the previous, showing a different POV from each other). It gave me a sense of the back and forth thoughts and feelings a person has on a day-to-day basis (at least I feel that way most of the time). Later, when I listen to the album in the order on Spotify, I had a different view on the album. The correct order gave me a sense of tentative hopefulness, and the other made me feel like I was floating in despair. The musical styles on this album jump around, and the lyrics seem autobiographical, so they have to be arranged properly to convey this story. Period. Also, I feel like I must add that I LOVE the hip hop and soul influence on this album. It is what I grew up listening to, and they used it properly, not trying to fit into the hip hop/R&B mold but mix it into what they do naturally. BRAVO! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Now, let's move on to the actual breakdown of tracks (in order).

Stay Frosty ❄️ is a powerful song to open with. The fact that the kick/low tom and guitar follow that same, accented beat pattern is incredible. (The distortion and reverb really help bc that musical idea has been used before & can get hokey if you aren't careful). Lyrically? Bitch! It's dope!  The opening line "I think I got too many memories getting in the way of me" is the best way to start an album entitled MANIA. When you have bipolar disorder (or are just an overly self-critical person), you hold onto the past way too much. (Honestly, there's little things from YEARS ago that still bother me that I should let go, esp. since most of them are super petty.) The lyric "You only get what you grieve" really expresses that feeling honestly. Anyway, back to the critique haha  So yeah, lyrically, this song really shows the anger & frustration you have w/ the world, esp. when you're trying to grow & aren't in the way you hoped. And musically, it's powerful yet danceable (I really want to vogue to it  And if you think voguing can't be powerful, go watch Paris Is Burning or videos of The Haus of Ninja on YT. You'll take those words back).

Moving on to Real Ones 🔮. An openly hopeful song. You recognize how painfully lonely and hopeless you were, and then you found true love (or at least you think it's true). I say that bc the lyrics hint that the protagonist doesn't completely believes it. "You were too good to be true/Gold plated/But what's inside you?" (They're slightly questionable of this love, mostly bc they've been wrong before, but they took time to get to know the person so most of their suspicions are gone.) The lyric "I'm done with having dreams/The thing that I believe/You drain the fear from me" touches on that. Now musically, it is amazing. The way the piano feels like it's floating front and center is incredible! The bass line drives most of the song (as bass should). The music feels upbeat and skeptical (yes, it is possible to feel them simultaneously; I do most of the time). Overall, great. 👍🏽

Okay, moving on HOLD ME TIGHT 💀. It is not my favorite, but I don't hate it. I actually made a thread for it back when it was released, so I'm just gonna attach the link to it (my feelings about it are mostly unchanged): https://niksemosmusic.tumblr.com/post/167519897006/niksemosmusic-okay-now-that-i-got-some-sleep **Okay, I thought I had broken down the lyrics but no. 😑So this song is about loving someone more when you're away from them. The lyric "The distance between us/It sharpens me like a knife" in the bridge is a clear representation of this. Verse 2 is very telling: "I got too high again/Realized I can't not be with you/Or be just your friend/I love you to death/But I just can't, I just can't pretend/We weren't lovers first/Confidants but never friends/Were we ever friends?". They love the other person, but they are too afraid of love (or of loving the other person too much and it ending) that they do not want to be constantly be there with them. (If they stay away, their love won't change and won't risk destruction.) 😐

Going to Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) 🏐, this track wasn't released that long about before the album, and I have a previous critique of it as well so I'll attach the link (again, my view is mostly unchanged): https://niksemosmusic.tumblr.com/post/169580442026/falloutboy-get-your-wallets-ready-youre-about **In my previous critique of Wilson, I said the lyrics seemed a little stream-of-consciousness. That is kinda accurate of mania. Your thoughts race back and forth, either between joy and sadness,between different points of happiness, or between different points of sadness.

That takes me to Church ⛪️ (pun not intended lol) The new video? GORGEOUS! (Though in a few of the band scenes, Trick's words seem out of sync ) & I love they included an interracial couple (which they've done before). & Patrick's corpse makeup is to die for (pun intended ). **(Going back to the inclusion of an interracial couple, I am glad they weren't pandering for diversity. A lot of the time, POC are added just so the creative party can say "Look! We have Black people! See! We're good people." FOB didn't do that. They are a couple, a pair of human beings living their lives like other human beings. They aren't at odds with a world that says they shouldn't be together bc of their race. That troupe is overused and lazy, and as a person of color, I really appreciate they didn't do that. Also, the fact that the couple is a black female/white male pairing is good. Most of the time, an interracial couple is portrayed as a black male with a white female. Generally speaking, I wish black-and-white-people-together wasn't the only view of interracial relationships in media. And can we have more queer couples in general? And not have their queerness be a us-against-the-world troupe? Again, that's overused & lazy.)** Now, as for the music, it’s wonderful! They really made sure it felt like going to church (that pipe organ was amazing. I kinda doubt they used an actual pipe organ instead of a plugin, but they could have. It just sounds too clean to be real). Let me move on to lyrics, and frankly, I really don’t see how so many people are hearing this as a very sexual song. "If you were church, I'd get on my knees"? Yeah, that does sound sexual, but when you listen to the rest of the song, it's obviously not the case. This is another unconventional love song, filled w/ anger and hopefulness. "Take the pain/Make it billboard big and swallow it for me/Time capsule for the future/Trust me, that's what I will be". The antagonist is trying to let go of the past & their new love is helping. And this lyric also suggests if anything goes wrong with this love relationship, they will get that old anger and pain back (they know how this has worked in the past for them).

Heaven's Gate 👼🏾 It is the most hopeful and happiest of any of the tracks. "I got dreams of my own/But I want to make yours come true" The protagonist is giving up their selfishness to fully commit themselves to the one they love. (Though giving up your dreams for someone else seems like the other person is selfish, but hey, love is often selfish. And if the "dreams" equal "fantasies", then those could be abandoned. Fantasies tend to hold a person back.) "If there were any more left of me/I'd give it to you/And I'll tell you that I am fine/But I'm a missile that's guided to you" They are fully committed. Their life is nothing without the other in it. (Again, their selfishness is gone.) Musically, it's amazing. I grew up listening to doo-wop and early soul w/ my mom, so this hits very close to my heart. (And Patrick can do no wrong vocally, so the fact that he let lose & put that range of his on full display deserves plenty of accolades 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾) And this song ticks all of the doo-wop/early soul boxes: Minor key (which may just be a major key in disguise)✔️ Lyrics that show how desperately in love you are✔️ Vocal runs and leaps that put the heart in a panic✔️ The whole song is just incredible! 😍

Moving on to Champion 🏆 When you are questioning everything in your life, this is the song to listen to. It is telling you that you will get through whatever your situation is. It's not telling you that everything will be amazing, but it's not gonna be as bad as it is now. I don't really need to dive deeper into the lyrics. Their meaning is kinda given to you at face value; they don't take much deciphering. Musically, it's a fight song. It is meant to pump you up. Period. There's nothing else to say. It's just good.

Sunshine Riptide ☀️🌊 It is lyrically genius. The beginning talks about being isolated and lovelorn ("She said I love you till I don't/I'm just playing house/No idea what I'm doing now"). But after a new love comes in ("The sunshine riptide/You came in like a wave when I was feeling alright"), they're happy once again ("You are my truest feeling yet/I love you so much/It's just like oxygen"). Or the affects of the drugs are giving them a false sense of happiness ("Driving down the coast again/The pills are kicking in"; "Smoking in my fucking ride...Feel like I'm bulletproof, bulletproof, baby"). You could argue for both. I love how they went full calypso/dancehall/afrobeat on this track. It works perfectly for the lyrical content. It's like a peaceful daze (another argument for the drug scenario). Overall, amazing! **(I'd also like to add how much I appreciate the reversed lyric at the beginning. It reminds me so much of "Work It" by Missy Elliott. Missy is one of my favorite rappers, so that really hits close to my heart. 💜)**

Young & Menace 😈 The 1st single from this album, & it holds a close place to my heart. It lyrically & musically describes true mania the most accurately. I can't put it into words, so I'm attaching a link to an interview Pete did when Y&M was released: https://niksemosmusic.tumblr.com/post/160090326586/rocksound-interview-fall-out-boys-pete-wentz

That leads us to the last track: Bishops Knife Trick 🔪 Some people think it is a breakup song, and in a way it is. It's a I-love-you-so-much-that-if-we-break-up-I-don't-know-what-I'll-do-with-myself song ("I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/It doesn't wanna live in a cage/A feeling that I can't housebreak/And I'm yours/'Til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away/I'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah"). This is some Mary J. Blige-type emotion they’re on right here. This song will break you in half. (I can barely listen to it without tearing up 😭). ("I'm sifting through the sand, sand, sand/Looking through pieces of broken hourglass/Trying to get it all back/Put it back together/As if the time had never passed/I know I should walk away, know I should walk away/But I just want to let you break my brain/And I can't seem to get a grip/No matter how I live with it") This is some deep stuff. 😶 The protagonist is debating whether they should stay in this relationship: "I love you, but do I really love you? Do I just love the way you make me feel? Is this really happiness or a trick? Maybe I'm holding onto the past too much". And the way the music is arranged rips my heart to shreds!  There is nothing like a simple bass line that pads the keyboard. The drum pattern is not overly complicated. The electric guitar moves the whole song along, just picking & strumming. The vocal melody doesn't have lots of embellishments, only at the start of the last chorus. And Patrick's singing sounds broken and contemplative. BKT is just... 🔪💜

So that concludes my review of MANIA. I am officially calling it my favorite album (Folie now takes the number two spot) I am so appreciative of this album, Fall Out Boy. Thank you for this album. Thank you for pushing it back. Thank you for making art on your terms. 🙏🏽