#it has it's fair share of bad or even downright awful episodes but it's like. nothing worth sparking moral outrage over

[magnetic-dogz]

Y'know sometimes I remember all the hell Youtube critics raised about Spongebob in the 2010s and I think. Is it really that serious. It's a kid's cartoon about talking sea critters. I remember the term "Squidward Torture Porn" and my eyes start rolling back into my head

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-17th Place

You know, sometimes there’s a show that is so underrated, it is downright criminal. And this next one is a perfect example of why.

#17-Dan Vs. (2011-2013)

The Plot: Dan is an angry, sociopathic, and slightly psychotic little man. In each episode, he goes out to get revenge on something that wronged him while dragging along his reluctant sidekick, Chris. But getting revenge isn’t easy, as they face monsters, fellow psychopaths, and even the state of New Mexico. Will our “hero” get revenge, or will he ever learn that vengeance is not the best solution (Spoiler alert: he doesn’t).

I should start by saying that if you prefer main protagonists who are kind and charming, pack up and find a different show, because trust me when I say that couldn’t be further from what I would describe Dan as. However, I should make it clear that Dan isn’t a bad person-actually that’s too nice-Dan isn’t a terrible person-actually, that’s still too nice-Dan isn’t a supervillain...except for that one time when he became a supervillain. But to be fair, this egotistical superhero crushed Dan’s car without apologizing, and Dan thought that the best way to beat a superhero was to become a supervillain. In fact, now that I think about it, that sentence is the best way to describe Dan.

When Dan goes out to destroy something, he doesn’t do it out of malicious intent (most of the time). Dan fully believes that he has been wronged by something/someone, and he does everything in his power to get back at them. Dan seeks to destroy New Mexico and Canada because things from New Mexico and Canada gave him a bad day. Dan wants to drill a hole in his dentist’s face because he believes that his dentist is an evil supervillain. Dan plans to destroy an animal shelter because the animals keep him up at night (And don’t worry, he doesn’t kill the animals...at least not until he has a quick change of heart). Now at this point, you might find yourselves wondering: “Why should I root for this character?” To that, I say: You shouldn’t. You see, what makes Dan Vs. entertaining isn’t really watching Dan succeed, but rather laugh at his attempts. And he does win every single time he goes against something, but as I said, that’s not why I recommend the show.

The main thing that makes me recommend Dan Vs. is its comedy. This show is up there as one of the funniest animated series that I have seen. Its cynical sense of humor is pretty ballsy, especially when considering that Dan Vs. once shared a run time with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Yes, really). But aside from being cynical, the show also relies on being absurd to get a laugh. Case in point, Dan and Chris once vertically rode a bear up the side of a cliff, and Dan complains about how bored he is. If you don’t find the absurdity of that funny, then this show isn’t for you. And while it’s cynical and absurd with its sense of humor, Dan Vs. manages to have a form of intelligence with its comedy. The best example is the episode “Ye Old Shakespeare Theater,” where the entire episode is chock full of non-stop Shakespeare references. Commitment to a bit like that makes one realize that the writers are a lot smarter with comedy than they might seem. And like most good comedies, it’s the characters that help pull it through.

There are a total of three primary characters in the show. There’s Dan, his sidekick Chris, and Chris’ wife, Elise. Yet, despite having such a short main cast, Dan Vs. makes do with what it has with each of the characters having great chemistry with each other. Dan and Chris have a perfect dynamic where Chris is the reasonable straight man to Dan’s psychotic rage. Trust me when I say that the comedy practically writes itself whenever these two share screen time with each other. Dan and Elise also have a great dynamic as bitter foils, who are always at each other’s throats. While they’re dynamic isn’t as funny compared to Dan and Chris, Dan and Elise still get out a couple of funny moments as characters who are two sides of the same coin. However, it is Chris and Elise's relationship that stands out to me. Their relationship as a married couple is both believable and endearing if you think about it. Elise is an unstoppable government agent that could effortlessly get any guy that she wants. And what she wants is a lovable oaf like Chris. Some traits might get annoying to her (what married couple doesn’t have their problems), but by the end of the day, she still loves him, and Chris absolutely loves her too.

However, while Elise has phenomenal chemistry with Dan and Chris, it’s her own character that causes a problem. Elise isn’t bad, but you know how I briefly mentioned that she’s an unstoppable government agent? Well, trust me when I say that is the worst part of her character. When an episode gives Elise a secret agent b-plot, it comes to a grinding halt as her adventures aren’t as entertaining as Dan’s revenge plot. The thing is that Elise being a secret agent should be funny if she had the personality to contradict the concept. If Elise was written as a sweet and caring person, then it would be hilarious to find out that she can actually kill you with her pinky finger. Instead, she’s a character who's just as angry as Dan, except that she's a lot more skilled. And seeing how it’s funny to watch Dan fumble his way to victory, Elise can’t give the same comedic punch as him. Although I will admit that she does earn an occasional chuckle on her own.

And as bad as Elise is, she isn’t the worst thing about the show. That honor goes to the animation. I’m not kidding when I say that Dan Vs. is the worst looking show on this list. It gets slightly better in later episodes, but that’s only when you compare it with the show itself. Compare it to the shows that I mentioned before it, and you can definitely see why Dan Vs. might not have won over many people. And don’t even get me started on the character designs. The designs range from kind of nice-looking to downright horrifying! And trust me when I say that it looks even worse when these characters are in motion. However, I’m willing to forgive the awful animation because the show doesn’t need to rely on looking good. Because show’s staff plays to their strengths rather than be what other shows are.

Speaking of other shows, by now, you’re probably wondering why I think Dan Vs. is better than something like Star V.S. the Forces of Evil, a show that got a massive following. In all honesty, I can sum up my thoughts in one word: Consistency. Dan Vs. didn’t have outstanding animation that got worse with passing seasons. It started as trash and slightly improved over time (like most cartoons should). Dan Vs. also didn’t start off as a comedy that dived headfirst into drama and story arcs. It is a comedy first and foremost, and it remained so until its unfortunate cancellation. Even the comedy never changed in this show. It started by being cynical and absurd, and it ended as such. I wish I could say the same for Star V.S., but the show seems to have kept changing its identity after each season.

In the end, Dan Vs. was a pretty good show. It may have been a weird show with bad animation and one bad-ish character, but it was still a good show. It had great comedy with characters that had even better chemistry, and because of that, the good heavily outweighs the mad with this underrated classic.

(Did you get how I said mad instead of bad? Funny, right?)

(...)

(Look, there’s not really much material for puns with a show like this. I swear I’ll make it up somehow.)

[killian-whump]

OUAT 3x05: Rewatch Liveblog

Hello, my friends! It is I, Killian-Whump, here with another Rewatch Liveblog.

This one's for episode 3x05, "Good Form" - and let me tell you right now, it might be awhile before you see another one, because it will probably take me 15 years to GIF all of the whump, angst and sexy faces that appear in this episode.

BUT BEFORE THAT HAPPENS!!!

I gotta watch the episode. So let's settle in, click the link below... and do just that.

Looks like we’re starting off this episode with Neal getting thrown in a cage, for all of you who are into that kind of thing.

Normally, I would be one of those people, but I'm not really into Neal... and what the hell is up with these camera angles? Meh. Could be better.

OH GUYS! GUYS! This is the Lost Boy whose face annoys me. I thought he was in S6, but here he is here. Is he maybe in both seasons? I'll have to keep an eye out for him when I get to S6 in my rewatch and spontaneously combust.

Aww, my baby’s having some unexpected feels over there while Emma's talking about her days in the foster system.

Aww, look at him trying to share his feels and connect with another human being on more than a superficial level. Bless him.

Look at him getting shot down because Emma assumes it's just an attempt to get in her pants.

Aaaaaand look at Dave telling him he's nothing but a pirate.

Like I said, I'll be GIFing this shit until sometime in the 2030s.

Oh, look! It's Navy men! What kind of flashback could this be?

Why, that looks like a Naval Officer, someone of good standing, with a jaunty little ponytail and a spry bounce in his step. Who could it-

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, IT'S HOOK

"Perhaps you mean younger brother." 'I MEANT WHAT I SAID, BITCH'

Ummm.... So... 'Only YOU can navigate us on this hero's journey!' 'Where are we going?' 'BITCH, I CAN'T TELL YOU'

OH GOD, GUYS, THAT BRIGHT SHINING SMILE FULL OF HOPE AND PROMISE T_T It kills me every time I see it. Colin could literally light up a city block in a blackout with that smile of his. We rarely get to see Colin's smile on Hook's face, but he uses it to such great effect right here. Bless.

...and here we are back to angsty, lusty, almost downright creepy staring at Emma XD

WHY IS HE FUCKING LIKE THIS (that’s what she said)

Hahahahaha, Snow. "Thanks for the advice." Like, she literally could not sound less dismissive if she tried. She gives so few fucks about Hook's thoughts, she might as well have walked over there and taken all of his OWN fucks away, as well. 'Nope, sorry, now NO ONE has any fucks for you. Not even you.'

My fucks... Now I have none T_T

I wish someone at the camp had answered WHY Hook had to go with David for more rope with, "You're freaking us all out, actually." XD

"What would you like to yell at me about now, Dave?" I love it when Hook calls him Dave, haha :D

Dave: "But if I do die-" Hook: "WHEN" Hahahahaha, you little shit <3

Aaaaaaaaand a swing and a miss. Dave, that was the absolute lamest attempt at whumping Hook that I have ever seen, AND I HAVE SEEN THEM ALL. Multiple times.

"Mate? Mate!" Umm, try his name? We know you know it. You used it thirty seconds ago.

LOL, I like to think Hook was, like, pouring Rum on Dave's mouth like a five year old trying to feed a sleeping parent or something.

Aww, he plays David so well. Hook: "No, it's too dangerous." Dave: 'Well, now I HAVE to do it.'

Liam, you ass. "Haha! That was close!"

Liam: "Employ the Pegasus!" And all the sailors, who obviously know what the Pegasus is, all spring into action, repeating the order and following it. So they all KNOW what the Pegasus Sail is and how to use it, while Killian, the LIEUTENANT and second in command here, has no fucking clue what's going on, what the Pegasus is, that the ship can fly, or where they’re going.

Regina: "How do we know you're not lying?" Hook: "Oh, you don't." Aaaaaaaaand he is. Hook: "But I'm not." Yes, he is.

Dave's TOTALLY OBVIOUS "goodbye forever beloved family" goodbyes XD

Ah, Liam, you stubborn arse. Listen to the strange demon child. Listen to your brother. Spoiler Alert: He never listens.

Oh, look. It's time for "Conversations with Pan That Are Somehow the Most Homoerotic Thing Ever Put on Television That Aren't Overtly Gay OR Sexual at All."  FYI: If sexual innuendos about Captain Pan bother you, you’re gonna want to skip to the next line break. I’m just saying.

Creepy silhouettes. Darkness. Pan: "Come back and work for me." Work? Is that what we're calling it now? Pan: "Like the old days." TELL US MORE ABOUT THE OLD DAYS. Hook: "I don't miss the old days." Great, but TELL US ABOUT THEM ANYWAY.

BLIP! Sudden Closeness Alert.

"We've known each other a very long time, Killian. We've done business before." TELL US ABOUT IT IN GREAT DETAIL OR ISTG

Pan: "You know me." Pan: *whoooosh* Pan: *appears directly behind Killian* Pan: "I like action." Hook: *closes his eyes* Hook: *licks his lips* Hook: *hangs his head* HE LIKES ACTION BACK THERE. BEHIND YOU. BUTT ACTION. I FUCKING SAID IT. I ain’t taking it back.

Hook: *turns to face Pan* Pan: *moves around to be behind him again* That's... I mean... I don't even have to make the innuendos myself here, do I? IT'S BUTT STUFF. I'M THINKING ABOUT BUTT STUFF.

Pan: "I want to see your hook inside his body." WHY DOES HE FUCKING SAY IT LIKE THAT?!?! Like he's a fucking expert at things he wants to see inside people's bodies.

Get a little closer there, Pan. If you even can.

Oh, sorry. There is literally no way you could possibly get any closer to him without putting your SELF inside his BODY.

AND THEY'RE ALONE. THIS ISN'T NECESSARY. THIS CLOSE TALKING ISN'T NEEDED. NO ONE NEEDS TO WHISPER. IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE HUSH HUSH.

THIS DOESN'T NEED TO BE WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS.

BUT IT IS.

JFC even though I've seen this scene a frankly very embarrassing number of times, EVERY time Pan grabs Killian's flask, I always think he's grabbing something else with that sudden jerking motion. And then he pulls the flask up into the shot and I'm like. "Oh. Oh, that's right."

Pan: "Have a drink." Hook's reaction. GODS ABOVE... Pan: "You know it always helps you think."

AHHHHHHHH and then we see why Pan was whispering, and why he put the flask in Killian's hand just then, because Pan knew Dave was approaching and he wanted Hook to look bad in front of him.

...and for butt reasons. FIGHT ME, BITCHES. You know I’m right.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

That fucking plant dripping black shit ominously looks like medicine.

Suuuuuuuuuuuure.

EVEN KILLIAN SAYS IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MEDICINE.

"You choose to believe that boy over our King?" Well, to be fair, that boy fucking LIVES there.

Oh, Liam. Liam, listen to your brother. Liam, don't. Liam...

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Every. Fucking. Time. I. Watch. This. Episode. He never listens.

Annoying face time again. I wish Regina would just rip his fucking hear-

Oh, there we go. Thanks, boo.

Snow: "The cost can't be this family." Emma: "It won't be." As long as you stop being a judgmental stick in the mud, MOM.

Aww... My baby, giving as wide a berth to the Dreamshade as he can. I love how afraid of it he is. He's so precious.

Ooooh... Swordpoint. This is a much better attempt at whumping our pirate, Dave. I commend you for not giving up after the first try went so poorly.

AHHHHHH and Dave backs him up against the Dreamshade he's so afraid of. LOVE IT.

Oooh, suckerpunch. And Dave's out for the count.

Pan: "Maybe you shouldn't have goaded him into it." LISTEN, YOU JUMPED UP LITTLE SHIT... And Killian just falls right into the trap, just accepting that he's to blame and trying to explain why he did such an awful thing... Oh, my pretty pirate baby T_T

Pan: "Don't leave the island unless you're willing to pay it." Ahhhh, you tricky little devil. You TOLD him, but you didn’t tell him.

Also, remember how Pan said to Baelfire last episode that all the pieces were where he wanted them... I wonder what his purpose was for bringing Killian to the island and setting all this up. He likely knew the resulting cascade of dominoes would bring Killian back... and back again. But why?

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

(Hint: It's butt stuff.)

Awwww!!! They got the message to Henry!!! :D Yay!!! Success!!!

And they only had to rip a young annoying-faced kid's heart out to do it :)

And now the show would like to rip all of OUR hearts out with a touching scene of brotherly love and agonizing death and beautiful crying faces.

"I will follow you... to the ends of the earth, brother." T_T STOP IT

T_T

T_T

T_T

Damn show.

AWWWWWWWW. He's so cute, suiting up and "bloody hell"ing and pulling a bandana over his face for the task ahead.

Sweet peanut, facing his fears and hacking away at the Dreamshade.

Awww, the way he looks himself over afterwards, and looks soooo relieved that he's emerged unscathed. Such a fraidy cat. I fucking love it <3

"I didn't do it for you, mate." <3

Regina's so sorry she turned to see what was going on back there, lol.

Snow: "I'm not complaining, but what was that-" Snowing: *more kissing* Emma: "Okay, I'M complaining." :D Regina: "What I wouldn't give for another sleeping curse." HAHAHAHA <3

Awwww, Dave giving his future bro and maybe kinda sorta mate some credit. ...and Hook looking so shy and embarrassed by the attention. Bless <3

Oh. Ohhh. Ohoh!!

CS Kiss Time. As kisses go, this is a damn good one, because it has Colin O'Donoghue in it and Hook in it and Killian Jones in it and... it also has Emma grabbing him by his lapels and yanking him to her forcefully and keeping him there until she's damn good and ready to let him go and that speaks to me on a deep, primal level and did I mention that Colin's in this scene?

...and the way he looks so fucking BLOWN AWAY afterwards. Like, that boy's brain is SAUCE right now and I love every second of it. THAT... That is a man who has been kissed within an inch of his life and that is how a man should always look when a Domme lady is done with him :)

"A one-handed pirate with a drinking problem." LISTEN, YOU WALKING COAT HANGER...

By the way, this "Neal's alive and in Neverland!" cliff hanger here goes down in history as one of the lamest ones ever, seeing as Hook ends up telling the secret, like, literally 30 seconds later in show-time.

More Neal in a cage.

Pan: "Hang him up, over there. Next to the other one." Oh, how ominous...

WHO COULD BE IN THE OTHER CAGE?!??! We'll have to wait to find out!!!

Although, thankfully, you all already know... considering it'll be over a decade before I finish GIFing this episode and actually watch the next one... T_T

Pew Pew Pew Peeeeeeeeeeeew

[fugandhi]

Roseanne: A Swan Song

Roseanne had recently made an inappropriate twitter (according to somewhere online; you can look it up) remark and then deleted it, and it was a pretty awful remark from what Kim told me.

So, I love “Roseanne.” That show is my favorite television show, and has been ever since I was a young boy. I remember growing up even thinking, “Man, that kid DJ looks SO MUCH LIKE ME” with the bowl cut and everything (yeah I have humble beginnings because I’m an average person).

I don’t know why Roseanne said what she said, but I know it’s wrong to make pretty damn offensive remarks about someone based off of their appearance - Especially if it is something that has to do with their race, gender, religion, nationality, etc. I mean - that’s like totally common knowledge by now I would certainly hope.

I was not surprised when I found out that her show got cancelled. It is absolutely heart-breaking. The best American TV Family (next to The Taylors of course; Home Improvement is my Other favorite TV show; Al & Wilson are my favorites, rest in peace to Earl Hindman) is at the mercy of the American public due to Roseanne Barr’s very stupid remarks. She apologized afterwards, and of course she deleted the tweet - but we all know the damage has been done.

So - I feel kinda silly because the correlation between The Conners and the show “Roseanne” and then the actress Roseanne Barr are so closely relatable (just as my household felt growing up; even though my family is not exactly like theirs, but the growing pains were in my humble opinion) that it can be very difficult to discern where reality and fantasy are divided.

I know Roseanne is a good person. Recently in my life, prior to the Season 10 comeback from the gang - Kim & I actually bought the entire 9 season box set from like walmart or something….nothing fancy.. Needless to say - We still watch the show on our own to this day with joy and genuine happiness.

Some of the most important life lessons I’ve had to learn that helped shape me as a human being - from being a child to a man - I was able to find in this show. I have a simple family - we are all hard workers and we don’t ask for much other than a God’s honest fair opportunity just like any American, heck, any human household.

It breaks my heart knowing that Roseanne has to not only go through the Hawaii circumstance which is very, very heart-breaking in it’s own right, but then also Roseanne now faces public scrutiny for thoughtless remarks due to whatever was going on with her at the time�� I don’t have any relevant context so I cannot determine why she said what she said - all I know is - she removed it, she realized she was wrong, and she apologized, and her show got cancelled and now every single person that was genuinely happy and legitimately putting their best effort forth now has to suffer under a guilty-by-association almost like a punishment they didn’t collectively deserve.

So, with all that said - I have to be transparent about my ignorance. I do not know who Roseanne was talking about - I do not watch cable tv, I do not overwhelm my heart and mind and soul with the herculean amount of bad news and bad stories that are just…. almost robotically informed to the public. Like…do news anchors stop and just friggin have mental breakdowns due to the overwhelming amount of just nonstop negative stories that they have to constantly share?..I mean dang.  Anyway, back to my point..

I don’t know who she was talking about, but I will tell you I saw the photo of the lady and I didn’t even think the joke was funny (it’s just downright mean, Roseanne). I know that Roseanne, and a lot of people, may have animosity or a lot to say towards like different people, or just anyone who may have a different belief or like different point-of-view (or I guess different way-of-life), but yeah, it’s completely wrong to just start making fun of someone’s appearance over whatever personal prejudice or personal bigotry or anti-whatever - it’s just like this: Be Good & Be Nice. It kinda goes back to the fundamentals of the household - If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all - I guess this is a lesson for all of us to keep in mind. Roseanne Barr is a household-name, she is very well-known, her fame is never going away, even with this stupid thing that happened (Anyone remember that whole Baseball/National Anthem uproar?) - Roseanne has been through a lot and a person of her intelligence and strength (especially Spiritually - She believes in God and she’s like very prominent about her religious beliefs) so she will continue to create important messages in her lifetime.

As far as the negative impact her words created - she has to heal the wounds. Either way it’s none of my business - I actually just watched the last 3 episodes of season 10, Kim and I had forgotten about them due to life happening.

So - after finding out about the upsetting remarks, and then that the show was cancelled very quickly afterwards (duh) - I watched the last three episodes of season 10 - and I still enjoyed the story. The very last episode, I believe, was a perfect ending for The Conners’ story. Roseanne’s Masterpiece is Complete.

The last episode was so profoundly meaningful, for myself as a viewer, let alone watching it with Kim (who of course was crying because it’s our favorite show). The funny thing is, I thought the last episode was completely fitting despite the fact that it was not planned to be the last episode.

The original last episode, back in season 9, was very heart-wrenching - especially with the fictitious death of Dan Conner - who is like the quintessential All-American Male (OH YEAH! John Goodman you are a blessing - God Bless you, Sir!) and that left a very powerful impact for me as someone who truly admired the show from beginning to end. You know, my favorite seasons are still like Season 1 & 2. I feel the same way about Home Improvement - which I still believe to this day deserves a full-fledged comeback season too - I mean yeah - it could happen. Anyway back to Roseanne - this show was very special in it’s initial stages. The Conners are not only a reflection of the average American Family, but they are a reflection of how American folk actually behave in a general sense - very hard-working, very smart, very big hearts, and very big dreams.

The struggle for the common family is the main concept of Roseanne, and yes it’s from her own unique perspective, but she had come out with full force in honor of Mothers and Wives across the land. It was a BEAUTY. It still is. Those seasons are still true - although it’s all a fantasy - there’s real pain and sorrow and real joy and bliss throughout these episodes.

The Conners represent American Values and the growing pains of us all who have had to work and earn our keep and also open our narrow points of view to concepts outside of our comfort zones (without having to compromise our free-will or beliefs). The show is very much like a photo album, or an energetic snapshot of how each of our respective homes have been - maybe that’s why the show clicks so easily for an average person who doesn’t come from like riches and wealth - and even then - I’m sure an obvious socialite could still at least identify with the personal growth and struggles of at least one of the characters. Whether it’s Bev being chastised by Jackie and Rosie for being too much of a judgmental hoity-toity kinda basket case (with the sweetest intentions) - or if it’s Dan throwin’ a hammer through dry-wall due to coming to terms with his own mortality as a man.

This show is powerful. The performances are spot-on. The quality is there. If this show wasn’t so damn lovable then why would people not cry over these stories and these genuinely damn fine acting performances (from everyone, even down to simple featured extras). There’s a lot of talent that was either on the show or in the behind-the-scenes - that have all gone on to work on other successful projects. Roseanne has so much sway. She carries so much influence because people  believe in her. I still believe in her. I don’t believe she would go out of her way to try to hurt others - Granted - I did recall watching a video online of Tom Arnold saying “You know, Roseanne the person and the character are 2 different people - She and ABC should apologize to the American Public” - and I saw that back when it was like her 3rd or 5th episode into the last season (so maybe this is karmic debt for Roseanne? God only knows dude).

Either way - the show is still amazing and you can’t take away the incredible accomplishments & achievements of everyone involved (even people who just don’t care about it anymore - which is cool too - because at the end of the day it is purely entertainment).

It’s astonishing to witness such a social outburst from American citizens - I’m like - dude there are worse things that come out of her mouth on her friggin tv show that people seem to just laugh and forgive instantly (for the sake of their own entertainment)…however funny - sometimes ya gotta make the choice between good and bad taste. I don’t agree with what she said. I think she mouthed-off and obviously displayed her own ignorance & obnoxiousness simultaneously and then thought about it afterwards. I forgive her.

I think it’s important to display a certain sense of forgiveness and mercy - obviously she already had her show pulled from her - but she is human. She’s not perfect by any means, neither am I, and I would never choose to play Devil’s advocate, I would only want to help sustain the legacy of not only her but of John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Alicia Goranson, Sara Gilbert, Michael Fishman, Natalie West, Sarah Chalke, Glenn Quinn, Johnny Galecki, Estelle Parsons, Martin Mull, Michael O’Keefe, and the list goes on… There’s a lot of people who still believe in the values of what this TV Family symbolize & represent as the common family.

ABC was never the right place for Roseanne. Netflix would be so much more suitable - especially with the recent FOX buy-out situation that prompted Matt Groening of The Simpsons and Futurama to leave (uh yeah, Disney is trying to monopolize which is lame). I think whether or not Roseanne continues (with or without ABC) - the legacy remains strong.

To conclude, It kinda surprises me that people hold Entertainers & Comedians & Musicians to a higher level of consequences (especially in a sociological standpoint) in comparison to other aspects of society. It’s like… to me… it just seems odd that Entertainers are treated like Political Leaders, and Political Leaders are treated like Entertainers. Isn’t that Odd to anyone else? Either way, I digress. God Bless the efforts of every person, especially Sara Gilbert, who really seemed to genuinely put their hearts, souls, minds, and their Faith into their work in telling the story of the contemporary family in American society. I thank all of those people from the bottom of my heart. All good things must come to an end I suppose. In the end - no one is Perfect. I’m not. You’re not. Roseanne definitely is not (lol), but you show me someone who is perfect (other than God) and I will call them a liar. We’re all in this together people. Stay Strong.

-ATOMIK 1

“Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.”

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL REWATCH Goes On An Escort Mission with Episodes 204 - 210

  Welcome back to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH. I'm Daniel Dockery, your host for this week's batch of episodes, and I gotta say, I'm gonna miss reading these writers' responses to whatever Naruto and His Amazing Friends happen to doing that week. It's got me feeling all sentimental, especially now that we only have two more weeks left. And it's because I was feeling so sentimental that I decided to approach my questions a little more...personally.

  Sure, I wanted their opinions on the latest round of filler, which included an overload of escort-style missions and some fun genjutsu use, but I mostly wanted to dive into their lives and see what makes them tick. What drives a person to watch Naruto and then answer questions about it each week? What lurks in the heart of a Sasuke fan? What are the hidden depths in a being that has committed a chunk of their lives to counting how many bowls of ramen a Shonen Jump character eats? And since I doubt we'll ever get a hard-hitting documentary about the hidden feelings of a Naruto fan, that means it's up to me to do the digging. Consider me your Anime Werner Herzog. 

  So let's dive in!

  Naruto sure does love its escort missions. There's two back-to-back in this set of episodes. What's your take on them? I know that, whenever a video game is like "Ya gotta get the professor to the control room and if he gets blasted, it's lights out!", I want to throw a PS4 out a window. And in anime, it's usually "Ya gotta protect this guy (that has a valuable secret that you won't learn about until it's waaaay too late." But I want to know your feelings.

Joseph: They're not as downright immediately awful in anime as they are in games, but they have to be handled interestingly. Naruto filler does not do that. This week's episodes were, through and through, interminable.

Paul: I don't mind escort missions in general, although as noted above, they all do tend to fall into the same "vital secret withheld" pattern. The living national treasure episode didn't work for me, because the secret artist, Shinemon, was so thoroughly detestable that -- despite attempts to humanize him that came far too late -- I would have been perfectly happy to see him dashed to bits on the rocks.

Kevin: I think I dislike the escort missions more on paper than I do in practice. At least by introducing someone to escort, the show goes to a new location and has a new character or two for Naruto and whoever else he's with to interact with. It's not handled particularly well most of the time, but at least it's an easy way to get something new-ish out of the filler.

Carolyn: Fetch quests < escort missions except in Resident Evil 4. As far as Naruto goes, I don't think it's the escort missions themselves that are the issue, so much as it's the repetitiveness of just about every storyline. But that's a whole other issue.

David: On one hand, escort missions make a lot of sense as something ninjas-for-hire would do frequently, especially the younger ones like our main characters who need the experience. On the other, we've talked enough here about all the more interesting ways "being a ninja" could be portrayed as a concept, so it does feel pretty lazy that they keep returning to this well.

Jared: We've certainly seen our fair share of these types of missions, so they're not terrible when watching compared to when you have to do them in a game, but the execution in the ones we saw this week is the problem. They really didn't bring anything new to the table that we hadn't already seen done better.

Danni: I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who made it through that one mission at the end of Metal Gear Solid 3 without failing on the first try, so as far as Naruto's escort missions go, I guess I didn't hate them. Gantetsu seems cool at least.

  Noelle: Escort missions in general are alright (in anime, not in games), but this one didn't really do it for for me. Lazy execution will bring anything down, really.

  Kara: I played City of Heroes and World of Warcraft so I tired of escort missions pretty quickly from a game standpoint. From a show standpoint, they can be interesting if they're done creatively. To their credit, neither of these even approached the annoyingness that was the rich kid ninja-for-a-day, but I would absolutely have murdered the sculptor and used the rest of the trip home to figure out a noble-sounding death for him.

  Gosh, we're in the home stretch, huh? So I want to know: How does it feel to have made Naruto a part of your weekly routine for so long? Is it something you look forward to? Did you ever have a problem fitting it into your week? Did you ever have to tell someone "No, I can't hang out. I've gotta see what these ninjas are up to"?

  Joseph: I looked forward to it for about 70% of the rewatch, so not bad! I never had to go too out of my way to keep it as part of my routine, but there was a time I had to make sure to download episodes on N*****x so I could watch while in England. Crunchy-hime, gomennasai.

Paul: Just this evening, I had to pass up walking the dog with my sister in order to catch the weekly ninja shenanigans. When we first started, I'd set aside a block of two specific dates and times each week to watch Naruto, but now I just shotgun all seven episodes as soon as the questions are available. It'll take adjustment to fill that Naruto-shaped hole in my schedule. Maybe I'll catch up on the 300+ episodes of One Piece I need to watch...

Kevin: A surprising amount of my life has started revolving around this Rewatch, to the point that I actively plan things like D&D sessions around knowing that questions normally come in on Wednesdays or Thursdays, so I need to either watch the week's episodes early or keep those days clear. At the same time, I'm legitimately looking forward to continuing the Rewatch into other shows and then to Shippuden, since watching these long form shounen series so quickly gives a different viewing experience than watching week to week.

Carolyn: There were definitely a few times I had to pass on things for Naruto but for the most part I was able to watch it while doing other work so it wasn't too inconvenient. I can't say it was the highlight, though the first few arcs definitely reminded me of why I was such a fan so many years ago and I was pleasantly surprised to find Naruto -- a former least favorite character -- is now one of my top favorite characters.

David: Back before this filler started, I would have said Naruto was one of the most highly anticipated parts of my week anime-wise. Now, uh, not so much. I'm looking forward to getting to Shippuden though.

Jared: It certainly feels weird that we're going to be done with OG Naruto in two weeks. As someone who hadn't watched a lick of Naruto before this, it's been fun. Although the filler at times has tested my patience with that. I've definitely had to maneuver some stuff around or make sure I don't record a podcast too late in order to watch episodes which has made for some interesting ways to make sure everything works out.

Danni: It's weird to think how I've ostensibly watched one episode of Naruto a day for nearly the entirety of 2019. To be fair though, I averaged nearly two episodes a day in the 10 months it took me to watch the entirety of the Dragon Ball series, so this just feels like a light continuation of that. I haven't given up on any social obligations to watch Naruto, but it has cut down on my available tea time with my students in Fire Emblem.

  Noelle: I never thought I'd be watching Naruto in 2019, but it's August and I sure did just that! It's been more a trip down memory lane for me, and I think I have a more updated perspective on some of the things I recall that were shaky. It's been pretty interesting comparing what I thought as a teenager to my impressions now, and it's been pretty amusing to see how some things haven't changed. The Rewatch is definitely something I have to specifically make time for in my schedule though.

  Kara: My friends now joke that I'm "watching Naruto for a living." I honestly thought this was going to be like pulling teeth. Really, only the filler has been like that. I was pleasantly surprised to find it's enjoyable at its best. Also couldn't help but do a bit of a double take this week when the words "It's Naruto, he'll be fine" were spoken unironically. How times have changed.

  Are there any points in your life that you regard as filler arcs? I remember taking golf lessons for a week when I was 23, which seemed super out of character for me, since I find golf amazingly dull. So I look back on that as "non-canon Daniel." Is there anything like that from your own life that anime fans would argue isn't part of the official timeline of You?

  Joseph: Off the top of my head, I've been pretty damn canon for my entire run. There were a couple months where I lived in LA to help my friend direct his graduation short, but that was more of a NaruJoe Gaiden. Surely some of the six (6!) years I spent farting around in college were filler, though.

Paul: My filler moments would be when I've struggled with bouts of serious depression. Those portions of my life feel hazy and unreal, and if it turned out that I were merely a character in someone else's comic book, I suspect those would be the awkward bits where they fired the previous writers and artists, and the editors had to fake it until a new batch came along.

Kevin: I lived with my parents for about 18 months after graduating college, just looking for some kind of employment. Day in and day out, basically just lounging around home, occasionally having bursts of productivity by applying to a bunch of jobs all at once. This is also the time when I was seriously studying Japanese and picking up mobile gaming. Near the end, I got a seasonal job working for Target and then started writing features for Crunchyroll. I think that's about as filler as it gets, even down to changing up the formula to stave off boredom.

Carolyn: I had to think about this for quite a long time. I'm not certain I can say there was much that I could call filler except possibly my education, which is kind of depressing. I first started going to college for an elementary education degree before realizing I don't actually have the patience to be a teacher. Later I got a certificate in medical transcription/billing and coding ... and did nothing with it. It's all worked out, but those would have to be the filler arcs, I guess.

David: I spent my first semester of college working on a music degree only for my interest in that to peter out halfway through and basically wasting my time for the rest of the year until I found an interest in computer science, so that's probably the closest.

Jared: For me, I'd probably go with all the choices I went through before settling on what I eventually graduated college with. So, there was the long filler arc where I thought I was going to be an automotive mechanic. That transitioned into the very brief web designer arc. After that was the dark time where I had to work at Walmart for two years after dropping out. Finally, there would've been the journalism arc that would eventually transition me onto the English path that would take me out of college.

Danni: My life is a filler arc.

  Noelle: This is a tough question... I do think a lot of things in my life have lead up to where I am now, even if I did feel they were useless at the time. Maybe all the summers I spent at summer camp; I don't think I retained anything particularly useful from those experiences, except for maybe a Pokemon card or two.

  Kara: I think my almost ten years working for a mainstream news website would constitute that. It started out okay, but then it was just a lot of time-killing with very little new scenery. Turning in my notice and becoming a freelancer was scary, but it really did feel like moving on to a new chapter. Which isn't to say every day is super-exciting plot progression, but at least I'm not seeing the same things over and over with slightly different character designs.

  Okay, in our Naruto slack chat channel, there's a debate going on about genjutsu and how useful it is. So, to give us a little more #content, I wanna know your feelings about it here:

  Joseph: It seems pretty useful, but only at an absurdly high level. I'm a huge sucker for illusions so I don't mind the fact that it's just that most of the time. In these particular filler eps, there's an instance where if you fall in imaginary Genjutsu lava, your body actually thinks it's burning and you could die as a result. I'm not going to put much stock in Filler Power Logic, though, so I dunno. I guess it's just a cool concept rather than one I think is super useful all the time. Freddy Krueger uses Genjutsu, so there's that.

Paul: I actively enjoyed the Yakumo arc, although I feel like having so many Kurama clan members with String-Bean Genjutsu was wasted potential. One of my favorite science fiction films is Forbidden Planet, which also features a super-powered id beast running amok. I know some others were arguing that genjutsu is weak as heck, but applied properly, I think it can be one of the deadliest and most inventive tricks in the ninja arsenal, especially when it fools the brain into damaging the body.

  Kevin: I'm the one who started the discussion, so my thoughts are already well known in the channel. For the audience though: I feel like Genjutsu is almost objectively the worst possible thing to specialize in for a Naruto character. Taijutsu basically lets you bench press mountains and ninjutsu seems to let you do pretty much anything magical, and they both allow you to outright kill your opponent. Meanwhile, outside of the insanely powerful genjutsu shown in this week's episodes and the one that Itachi likes using, genjutsu only ever seems to immobilize the opponent.

On its own, that might be fine, since you could stop them and then kill them easily, but even schoolchildren know how to dispel low level genjutsu, and Kuranai showed that when that doesn't work, you can just stab yourself once to get out of a genjutsu. Not ideal obviously, but much easier to defeat than a man moving faster than the eye can see, or a kid trying to stab you with a ball of lightning.

For some of the others:

Ninja tools (Tenten): Not seen often and also a contender for worst option because of how rarely Tenten gets to win at anything. But being able to summon pretty much any number of any weapon has a lot of versatility.

Ninja animals (Kiba, Shino, etc.): They always seem to end up being more useful than I would expect them to be, while genjutsu always ends up being more boring than I would expect.

Kekkei Genkai: Because they don't need to follow the same rules as standard jutsu, the creators have more freedom to be imaginative with what the abilities can do.

Medical ninjutsu: Always useful in keeping people alive (brought back everyone's favorite bowlcut, after all), and Kabuto showed how it can be used offensively. Tsunade also hasn't showed how powerful medical jutsus can get, yet.

Sealing: We haven't seen much of it yet, but what we know is that if you can't kill something, you can seal it away. Maybe not the most practical specialization on a day-to-day basic, but exceptionally useful when needed.

A different group chat I'm in actually came up with a great way to make genjutsu more engaging, and it's basically what Shikamaru does with his Shadow Possession jutsu. Instead of the ninja casting a genjutsu and then basically nothing happening until either the person under the jutsu breaks out or someone comes along to help them get out, the genjutsu creates an opening for someone else to attack, creating combos and interesting combat scenarios.

  Carolyn: Yeah, I have to agree with Joseph. Even if the logic doesn't exactly make sense, anything that deals with mind-bending and reality manipulation is a plus in my book.

    David: It makes sense to me that genjutsu could be seen as the least useful ninja art to practice if you're a normal person in this world, but in the context of the show where the focus tends to be on the most powerful characters, everything except genjutsu feels completely underpowered. So it depends on your lot in life I suppose.

  Jared: We've certainly seen instances of lower level Genjutsu where it seems easy to get out of and know you're under the influence of it. In that instance, it would probably be less beneficial than other forms of jutsu, but if you have a knack for being a high level practitioner of it, then I'd say it's pretty beneficial. Especially as seen here where you can basically trick the brain into believing everything is real and have it cause legitimate damage. The amount of people who are going to be able to operate on that high of a level is going to be slim though, which makes it seem weaker than what it can actually be.

  Danni: Evo was this past weekend, so I've been thinking of genjutsu like a high-skill ceiling fighting game character. For low level shinobi, genjutsu is so easily countered that it's never a viable option. You're better off polishing your skills taijutsu + ninjutsu combos. However, when a real master sits down and devotes themselves to genjutsu, their ability is almost godlike.

  Noelle: I think I agree most with the sentiment that low-level genjutsu is pretty harmless, but high-level genjutsu is deadly. After all, it does rely on tricking the senses, and if you've lost control of your primary senses, then what is there to trust? They may seem like fun and games, but hallucinations in the real world are bewildering enough as is. Sensory adjustment being weaponized can be downright deadly in the right circumstances.

  Kara: Like Paul, I really enjoyed the Yakumo arc. This was a very "made for me" story, between the genjutsu and the taming of the Id monster - that's all stuff I love. Personally I enjoyed how much time was spent developing the idea of genjutsu: that a lot of it is our mind working against us, and in many cases the more intelligent you are, the harder it gets you. Plus our brains are our own worst enemy, so of course it would be terrifying to have them turn against us. I'd honestly rather be kicked in the face a hundred times than live out some sort of eldritch nightmare I couldn't escape, "real" or not.

  Do y'all like ramen? What's your favorite kind? I know that this isn't very relevant to the episodes, but we've been keeping a ramen count for about eight months and I haven't seen much discussion about how y'all actually feel about ramen. I personally really dig it.

  Joseph: Going back to LA, there's a spot my friend and I were hooked on in Little Tokyo called Orochon Ramen. We were training ourselves to stand up to the spiciest number, but never quite made it there. I would sweat INTO my ramen bowl, It was deliciously excruciating, or excruciatingly delicious; whichever sounds better. I think it did level up my spiciness in general!

  Paul: I've had proper ramen from a proper Japanese ramen restaurant in New York City, but, hypocrite that I am, I actually prefer the store-bought stuff from Nissin and Maruchan. I enjoy the pork flavor, which they label as "Oriental flavor" for some unknown reason.

  Kevin: I'll be perfectly honest, Naruto is the reason I started eating ramen more than a decade ago, and I still probably have a bowl or two per week. It's just so simple to make! Boil some chicken broth, add the noodles, add anything frozen (like peas), wait a few minutes until you can break up the block of noodles, add any other vegetables/eggs/whatever, simmer for a few minutes to cook things through, top with green onion if you feel fancy, serve. I also add soy sauce and ginger for a bit more flavorful broth. Maybe 10 or 15 minutes or so to get a bowl full of tastiness. Great for any time that you don't have a better idea for what to eat.

  Carolyn: I've never had real ramen and I really, really want to. The pork flavor labeled "Pork flavor" is the actual best of the store-bought stuff. Sorry, Paul. Oh, and also the mushroom flavor that doesn't even exist anymore. We can cancel shrimp and chili.

  David: Some friends of mine live next to a good ramen place so I like going there when I get the chance, but otherwise I can't say I eat it often. My diet is pretty terrible actually, being mostly frozen meals and the occasional actual food on days where I feel like I have more free time.

  Jared: I've also never had legitimate ramen, so all I have to go off of is the store bought kind and even then I can't remember the last time I had that.

  Danni: When I was in Japan I went to a grocery store and bought some random cups of instant ramen, which turned out to be curry-flavored, and I love me some curry. I ended up bringing a bunch home with me when I left. I currently have one left in my reserves, but I just can't bring myself to eat it and say goodbye to my curry-flavored ramen yet.

  Noelle: Ramen is my go-to food when I don't feel like putting a lot of effort into cooking. I love it! I usually end up eating tonkotsu or shoyu. In restaurants, I like mine with a good helping of char-siu.

  Kara: I started eating ramen when I was very little because my uncle, who was between college and grad school and living with my grandparents and me at the time, had it for lunch every day. (I thought he was cool, which he is, and I wanted to be like him.) He had beef with a slice of Swiss cheese melted on it. I had vegetable with white American cheese on it and eventually "graduated" to beef (though still with cheese). I've had proper ramen and I really enjoy it when it's possible to get it, but sometimes I just crave college food.

  And highs and lows, I guess:

  Joseph: These'll be quick. My high for the week was the concept of Dropout Ninja. I love the idea of unaffiliated bad dudes who decided to quit school and, presumably, set up a Foot Clan-esque underground network. The low is the Yakumo arc. So much drawn-out explanation for what should have otherwise been a pretty neat bit of intrigue and backstory.

Paul: My high point is the id beast from the Yakumo Arc, because the idea of being betrayed by one's own subconscious is a conflict that I groove on. Honorable mention goes to Kurenai being a quintessential shinobi by being willing to endure misplaced vengeance rather than allowing her student to come to harm. My low point is the sheer number of waterfalls that Naruto got tossed over. Two waterfalls in as many episodes is a Wile E. Coyote thing.

  Kevin: High - Cat-in-the-Craddle ninja. I honestly thought about putting him as my low point, or at least as a head scratching choice for how strange an ability it is, but he's one of the few things that really sticks out to me in this batch of episodes, and I actually do like seeing versatile skillsets, even if they've stopped even pretending to be ninja-inspired.

Low - The guy who made the national treasure. I'm so annoyed by basically everything he ever did that I'm not even bothering to look up his name. He started as a jerk and ended as a jerk. Congratulations, now get out and never come back.

  Carolyn: High point, like I mentioned earlier, would have to be the illusions. That stuff is just always fun for me. Low point, yeah, smugness is a no go.

  David: My high point is the concept behind the Yakumo Rescue arc, especially Yakumo herself, practically jumping into the show as a viewer with being inspired by Rock Lee and all. Low point is just how long that arc is - five episodes is about two too many, so it lost a lot of luster along the way.

  Jared: High point this week was some of the different and spookier styles the show tried to implement in the Yakumo arc, albeit briefly. Outside of that though, the low points would probably be everything else with that arc going too long and the other episodes just being basic concepts we've seen executed better elsewhere.

  Danni: My high point is the Yakumo arc, just because of the parallels her situation had with Naruto's. The weakest part of Naruto in my opinion is how little it bothers delving into the fact that Naruto has a giant, murderous demon sealed inside of him that almost definitely killed his parents. Seeing him recognize the similarities between them and make a silent vow to master his own terrifying power was great, and hopefully will become more significant in Shippuden.

  My low point is...also the Yakumo arc. It's just so unfortunately incongruous with the actual mainline plot. If Kurenai had been tasked with this mission for some time, why did she only just now decide that she's unfit to command her team? Also, I imagine that despite Yakumo's incredible power one day being very much needed in the Hidden Leaf Village, no one will ever say a word about or mention her ever again. Yakumo deserves to be canon, dang it!

Noelle: High point, illusions definitely! I like the idea of using horror when it works, and I think they did a decent enough job in doing so. Low point, the general sense of repetition and overall, I think some points stretched far too long. This could've used some trimming and compression.

Kara: High point is the Yakumo arc in general, with special focus on the horror imagery and Id monster. There were some genuine "NOPE" visuals in there (Yakumo's portrait grabbing her and talking to her), not to mention Sakura opening a door and looking out into the void of space and just screaming.

Low point was the freakin' "national treasure" sculptor who spent the whole episode mocking our lads for not dying on the job. I hope Akamaru got an extra spray on him before they kicked him out of the village.

  And for the weekly numbers:

Counters Week- Ramen: 0 bowls + 3 cups Hokage: 0 Clones: 94 + 2 uncountable scenes Total- Ramen: 201 bowls, 17 cups Hokage: 62 Clones: 912

  And that’s it for this week! Remember that you’re always welcome to watch along with the Rewatch, especially if you’ve never seen the original Naruto! Watch Naruto today!

  Here’s our upcoming schedule:

-On August 16th, NICOLE MEJIAS finishes up a mission!

-And finally, on August 23rd, CAYLA COATES wraps up the Rewatch in its entirety!

CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!

Episodes 197-203: Solving a Mystery

Episodes 190-196: Matchmaking Gone Wrong

Episodes 183-189: No Laughter Allowed!

Episodes 176-182: Reach for the Stars!

Episodes 169-175: Anko’s Backstory At Sea

Episodes 162-168: The Tale of the Phantom Samurai

Episodes 155-161: Quickfire Curry

Episodes 148-154: The Forest is Abuzz With Ninjas

Episodes 141-147: Mizuki Strikes Back!

Episodes 134-140: The Climactic Clash

Episodes 127-133: Naruto vs Sasuke

Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return

Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke

Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue

Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea

Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin

Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision

Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend

Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow

Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam

Episodes 57-63: Family Feud

Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally

Episodes 43-49: The Gate

Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods

Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed

Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff

Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves

Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle

Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!

  Thank you for joining us for the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! See you next time!

  Have anything to say about this batch of episodes? Let us know in the comments! We're accepting questions and comments for next week, so ask away!

----------------------------------

Anime Werner Herzog is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. You should follow him on Twitter!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[lynchgirl90]

What Made #TwinPeaks Denise Such a Radical Trans Character on TV 

At a time when trans characters on TV and film were killers, villains, or just mocked, the equality accorded to David Duchovny’s Denise in ‘Twin Peaks’ stood out.

“OK.”

That’s how Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) reacts in the second season of Twin Peaks when his former colleague Dennis Bryson (David Duchovny) reintroduces herself to him as Denise—not “Wow!” or “Huh?” but a prosaic, matter-of-fact “OK.”

Later that day at a wedding reception, Cooper slips up and calls the transgender woman by her old name again. She corrects him: “Denise.” He apologizes immediately and sincerely—“I’m sorry”—and makes it a point to call her by her new name afterward.

“Well, this is all pretty amazing disclosure, Denise,” Cooper says, with the same stupid grin on his face that he gets when he sips a damn fine cup of coffee or looks at a majestic Douglas fir tree.

To this day, it may be the most tender portrayal of friendship between a transgender person and someone who knew them before transition—and it was first aired in 1990.

The nineties were not a great time for transgender representation on film or television, to say the least. This was the decade when Ace Ventura threw up because he discovered he had kissed a transgender woman, when The Crying Game’s big transgender reveal was marketed as a shocking twist, and when The Silence of The Lambs gave us a villain who wanted to make a “woman suit” out of human skin.

Back then, transgender female characters tended to be “deceitful, disgusting villains,” as Meredith Talusan wrote for Buzzfeed. An ass-kicking DEA special agent in a critically-acclaimed surrealist soap opera didn’t exactly fit in with that trend.

But perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that a show as revolutionary as Twin Peaks would also be ahead of the curve when it came to handling a transgender character. And it’s oddly fitting that a show flooded with anachronisms—that felt cut out of time and place—would somehow predict the future of transgender representation.

The representation of Denise—played by a truly breathtaking David Duchovny in era-appropriate stockings and a big-banged wig—has its fair share of problems, of course. The writers clearly wanted to squeeze a few laughs out of the new character, who comes to the town of Twin Peaks to clear Agent Cooper’s name after he gets falsely accused of drug-running.

“That’s a good color for him,” says Deputy Hawk of Denise in her first scene, after she leaves the room, misgendering her and giving the audience tacit permission to laugh at the character—especially because the line follows a deliberately long beat.

Later in Denise’s three-episode arc, the audience is shown a pair of black heels walking across the checkered-tile floor of the Double R diner before the camera cheekily reveals that they belong to the six-foot tall transgender woman. It’s a joke told at Denise’s expense, albeit in a visual grammar rather than a verbal one.

For a real-life transgender viewer like myself, there are pieces of Denise’s story that don’t quite add up. Denise tells Cooper that she transitioned because she discovered that wearing women’s clothing “relaxed [her]” while she was working undercover as a “transvestite” for a drug bust.

“Imagine how surprised I was, Coop,” she says. “It’s not exactly something you plan on.”

While I don’t want to discount anyone else’s life experience, most transgender people I know—myself included—don’t stumble upon this realization about themselves by accident but after years of internal agony. (In fact, when I first discovered Twin Peaks and watched the entire series in a weekend, I was in the middle of painful deliberations about how, when, and if to transition.)

It’s not immediately clear, either, that Denise’s transformation involves any sort of medical treatment. However, a line cut from one of the scripts reveals that she is in a program that requires her to “dress the part for six months prior to any further therapy, hormones, [and] electrolysis.”

At a time when most people still referred to gender transition as “sex change” and equated the entire process with surgery, that’s some pretty impressive attention to detail. But the same script introduces Denise as “MAN IN DRESS,” so I don’t want to give the writers too much credit.

Overall, though, Twin Peaks treats Denise with a remarkable amount of humanity—even by today’s slowly-rising standards.

The welcoming attitude toward Denise begins with Agent Cooper’s immediate acceptance of her transition and emanates outward.

As Rani Baker wrote in her 2016 ode to Denise—playfully titled “26 Goddamn Years Later, Twin Peaks Still Has One of The More Compassionate Trans Woman Characters on TV”—Cooper functions as “the conscience of the [show’s] narrative” and an “anchor point of stability and traditional (yet modern) American values.”

Cooper is the kind, decent, cherry pie-loving, crispy bacon-eating heart of Twin Peaks—so if Denise is all right in his book, then she’s all right, period. The other characters often take their cues from him, not just in matters of law enforcement but in matters of the heart as well.

For instance, Sheriff Truman makes a snide comment about Denise under his breath when he first meets her. But two episodes later, he genders her correctly and even figures out a way to use her womanhood to their advantage in a hostage situation, sending her in dressed as a waitress to disarm some unsuspecting bad guys. (The script describes Cooper as “surprised” and “proud” that Truman came up with the idea.)

In fact, apart from Hawk’s initial misgendering of Denise, I can’t find a single instance of her being referred to as “him” or “he” in the show itself—although the Twin Peaks episode scripts use inconsistent pronouns in their written descriptions of the character.

Young Audrey Horne is downright in awe of Denise, exclaiming, “They have women agents?” when the two first meet. (“More or less,” Denise replies, in one of those borderline-offensive laugh lines.)

And to the show’s credit, no one asks Denise invasive questions about her genitals—a lazy, transphobic crutch for film and TV writers that is still being used today in movies like Zoolander 2. Cooper even prefaces a broader question about Agent Bryson’s transition with a careful “if you don’t mind my asking.”

The show also corrects the misconception that one’s sexual orientation automatically changes following a gender transition. When Denise makes a remark about Audrey’s obvious infatuation with Cooper, Cooper says, “Denise, I would assume you’re no longer interested in girls.”

Denise replies, “Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time, if you know what I mean.”

“Not really,” says Cooper, still grinning.

But it’s not just how other characters treat Denise that makes her stick out in a sea of awful transgender characters; it’s how she handles herself. She is friendly, self-assured, and frequently hilarious. When she catches the bridal bouquet at a wedding, for example, she tells Cooper, “Unfair advantage. How many of those girls were varsity wide receivers?”

As Baker noted in her piece, “Denise is presented as actually being talented and confident,” which is a “pretty big deal” given the way transgender women were being represented at the time. Denise plays a key role in taking down series villain Jean Renault and extracting a confession from another criminal named Ernie Niles. In a series full of quirky Lynchian players, she more than holds her own.

That’s why most Twin Peaks fans seem thrilled that she’s apparently coming back in Showtime’s Twin Peaks revival, which premieres on May 21: she’s not just a unique transgender character but a great character, her undeniable sensuality and eminent capability undercut by David Duchovny’s dry delivery of her lines.

I have been waiting for Denise to return since 2015. When rumors were swirling about David Lynch bringing Twin Peaks back to life, Duchovny told the LA Times, “I hope my character comes back, I think she does.” (Note that he gendered his character correctly— something that cisgender actors in transgender roles still sometimes fail to do to do.)

Finally, this March, EW revealed an exclusive photo of Duchovny on the set of Twin Peaks dressed in a smart brown skirt suit with a more modern hairstyle: the bangs are still there, just side swept now. According to EW, Showtime and Lynch won’t officially confirm that the original cast are reprising their exact previous roles—but it’d be shocking if it weren’t Denise in that production photo.

But transgender representation looks a lot different in 2017 than it did in the nineties. Laverne Cox is on Orange is the New Black. Jamie Clayton is on Sense8. Shows and films featuring transgender characters like Transparent and The Danish Girl are being nominated for—and sometimes winning—Oscars and Emmys. But despite taking a half-step forward from nineties transphobia, this new transgender moment is far from perfect. Filling transgender roles with cisgender actors—still the most common casting practice, apart from notable exceptions like Cox and Clayton—not only deprives marginalized actors of work, it sends the dangerous cultural message that transgender women are really men—and that transgender men are really women—underneath it all.

The tide on this debate is only now starting to turn. Transparent creator Jill Soloway, who previously defended casting Jeffrey Tambor as a transgender senior a few years ago, has since said that “it is absolutely unacceptable to cast a cis man in the role of a trans woman.” And Tambor himself told the world in 2016 that he “would be happy if [he] were the last cisgender male to play a transgender female.”

That’s why, as blogger and Twin Peaks superfan Joel Bocko pointed out in his excellent primer on Denise Bryson, Duchovny’s apparent return to the cast “will be both celebrated and controversial.” Will we forgive Twin Peaks for giving us yet another cisgender man as a transgender woman because Duchovny is continuing a part he first played twenty years ago? Or should the casting choice be judged in the present with no consideration for the past?

At this point, it’s hard for me to imagine Denise Bryson’s heels being filled by anyone other than Duchovny. I am the first to criticize movies and shows for casting cisgender actors in transgender parts but there’s a special place in my heart for Denise’s wry quips, quick instincts, and killer legs. And in the grand calculus, Twin Peaks earned enough goodwill with me by setting itself apart from the omnipresent transphobia of nineties entertainment that it can afford to irk me today.

I’ll withhold final judgment until I devour the finished product like the Twin Peaks nerd that I am. But for now, the thought of seeing Denise on my TV again makes me grin about as wide as Agent Cooper contemplating a spread of jelly donuts.

Here’s hoping I get to give her re-reintroduction a big ole Agent Cooper thumbs up.

Or at least a simple, accepting “OK.”

link (TP)

[lethesomething]

The definitely not definitive sports anime guide

So I did a thing a while back (a year ago, in fact) where I tried to make a primer for sports animes. I have since watched Many, Many More so let's do this again (still no Daiya no Ace tho). Based purely on my own meandering experience, here's a hopefully comprehensive guide on picking your next set of adoptive sons.

Note: There’s ten shows so this is going to be long, you guys. Just... so long. And there will be many exclamation points.

All out!!

Sport: Rugby Type: Ensemble cast with quite a heavy focus on drama. By that I mean that this is a 'traditional' sports anime, where several characters get flashbacks and development, usually in the final minutes of some important match. The amount of characters, however, is fairly low, with a heavy focus is on the Jinko team and their struggles to not be the failingest team that ever failed. Lasers vs realism: I know nothing of rugby? They tackle each other a lot and they seem to mostly play in the rain and the mud. So far, things seem plausible. I've spotted a fair amount of 'eye lasers' and 'determination fire' so I'm gonna say Mildly Realistic. Pace: Fairly slow. Fourteen episodes in, they haven't even started the preliminaries to the nationals. The focus is very much on the build-up of the team and the individual characters.

Art style: Bara. So bara. Apart from that, the art is very pronounced, with a rather unique look. The difference in faces reminds me almost of a french bd style. I like it. Best tsun: Ohira is so salty. Someone please put him in a shaker and pour him over fries. Favourite gentle giant: Iwashimizu is that cute, shy, tall boy that would really rather be in the book club, but got dragged into violent mud ball because of his stature and his past. Protect him.

Early scene: All Out!! is pretty heavy on the figure hugging outfits and the random tackling shots in the dirt. This is like 50% of the first few episodes. Just shots of guys running into other guys while looking Serious. The other 50% is school kids talking.

Later scene: Somewhere halfway through the season, All Out suddenly starts adding All the Drama and Background, and really starts to shine. Mostly because characters that seemed flat suddenly get some depth. Have the resident Tough Guy Captain, for instance, getting blushey because he received a love letter.

The good:

In a genre that's rife with thin pretty boys, it's refreshing to see a bunch of bodybuilders and fat blokes trying to waltz over each other. All Out's art style is one of it's major draws.

I really like the contrast between the over the top action of the games and the practice, and then the soft focus and alternate personalities in the flashbacks and establishing scenes. The storytelling is pretty good.

The bad:

I'll be honest, All Out is not the most inspired show out there. It's pretty heavy on the tropes, especially in the establishing episodes, before the whole thing gets rolling. It takes a few episodes before it gets truly interesting.

The show also takes a little too much time to establish how down in the dumps the team is. Jinko isn’t just the underdog, they’re the Underdog. I found it almost depressing to watch at times.

Advice: Watch it for the bara. This is one of the few shows where the characters are not all skinny. It has some nice body diversity. Also: a sport that is pretty unique. This is a good one if you're looking for something a little different.

Cheer Danshi!!

Sport: Cheerleading Type: Ensemble cast. The central cast is made up of five dudes with their own struggles, and halfway through the season it is expanded to double that. Realism: High. The weirdest thing that happens is kids being able to do a handstand by trying hard enough. The show deals with some very basic and very realistic issues, like fear of heights or finding time to practice while also looking for work and studying. Pace: Fast. It's a simple, condensed show that manages to fit both the whole 'let's start a club' thing and practice all the way to tournaments into one season.

Art style: Mildly bishounen. These boys are all extremely cute. They also look fairly young considering they're in university. Favourite cheer boy: Kazu is amazing, ok? He has the sad back story, but he's just incredibly fun and cheerful and his messaging icon is a cheerleading pig for god's sake. Best tsun: Shou is your resident 'highly talented but held back by his past trauma' type kid, with the extra bonus of terrible, terrible fashion taste.

Early scene: So Cheer Danshi!! starts with these four friends getting into the whole cheerleading thing and slowly gaining team members by just going out there and embarrassing themselve.; It works!

Later scene: The valentines episode is one of the funnier ones, and the show does that thing where they stuff so much information into a single frame? Usually something is going on in the back and I approve of that.

The good:

I give Cheer Danshi!! points for having a chubby character that is never made to feel less and who's main 'joke' is that he's the only one with a girlfriend. Ton wins at life, ok.

Also this show is legit? Like I was expecting some parody, but it’s pretty serious about being a real sports anime.

I live for shows that put little easter eggs in the background.

The bad:

A lot of development is missed because of the brutal pace. Like Shou as a character should be right up my alley, but he falls sort of flat.

The actual dance scenes didn’t really do it for me. It sort of lacks tension. It doesn’t have you at the edge of your seat.

The show, to me, lost a lot of its speed and intrigue near the end of the season, like it was running out of gas.

Advice: Watch it for Kazu. This is a pretty chill show about outcasts. It has pretty art and works well as a time filler, even if it isn’t as gripping or life consuming as some of the ones on this list.

Days

Sport: Football (soccer) Type: Ensemble cast. Pretty heavy focus on the main character and possibly Kazama, but the Seiseki football team has its fair share of strong personalities, that each get to shine. Realism vs motivational shouting: Fairly realistic. The football matches feature more goals than I’m used to seeing in regular matches, but otherwise the basic rules and techniques are followed. Tsukushi's main skill is that he runs a lot and can shout loudly. This puts him in first string of one of the top high school football teams in Japan. That's... odd, but the actual matches aren't too weird. Pace: Pretty fast. These guys are not the underdogs, so they get into the Nationals or whatever fairly quickly. Also the third years are already talking about retiring 20 episodes in.

Art style: The art for Days is pretty cool. The linework is fairly thick and the characters are very pronounced. Half of them are pretty hot, while the other half is just downright weird. No idea what the deal is with Tsukushi’s cheeks. Favourite football genius: Have I mentioned how Kazama is a gift? Because Kazama is a gift. He does the genius rebel with ennui thing and combines it with a sad past and the most upbeat personality imaginable. He's a little shit and I adore him. Favourite tsun: Kimishita is aggressively tsun, in the sense that he's almost more aggressive than tsun. This guy has so many issues with repressed feelings turning into anger that I would recommend a therapist, or perhaps like an awful lot of cuddles. Maybe a puppy.

Early scene: Days is a strange combination of over the top melodrama with Tsukushi learning his self worth, and then just... really silly stuff. Like this one, where Tsukushi, despite being just the biggest loser, gets to nap on the pretty girl's shoulder. His classmates are not impressed.

Later scene: Because of the 'top dog' status of Seiseki, a ton of circumstances have to happen where they are challenged and the match is no longer that easy to win. Suddenly everything is mud, or half the team is out so the other half has to pick up the slack. This, btw, is Kimishita's finest moment.

The good:

Days is that show that is all kinds of normal and I still want to watch a ton of it? It has that Oreo quality to it. You know they're not the best cookies out there but damned if you're not going eat the whole pack. It has the right amount of lightness and silliness to sate my sports anime thirst.

It’s kinda cool that this show starts with a team that is not clawing itself up from the ground. They're the champions from the very start and have to defend that position, which changes the tension somewhat.

The bad:

For a sports anime, the title has a startling lack of exclamation marks.

It has the worst first episode. It does get better.

Also it's pretty tropey. Mostly in characters. Kimishita is aggressively tsun, Usui is very much the mom friend, Ooshiba is the self involved ace etc. The ensemble cast feels slightly too much like an ensemble cast, if you know what I mean. The show rather subtly tries to play with these tropes, but they are still feel very present.

The amount of praise lavished upon protagonist Tsukushi for being average but good at running is a little too much. I get that this is a motivational anime, but he’s literally on a team with genius athletes.

Advice: This is good, old fashioned entertainment. Watch it for a sport you actually know something about (if you’re, like, not American), and because it’s well made.

Free!

Sport: Swimming Type: Drama. This is basically a show about growing up and coming to terms with your dreams. It's... very heavy on the story, you guys. The show is based on two light novels that precede the anime time line and the story goes back to friggin kindergarten. Everyone has some kind of trauma. Realism vs dream fish: Ok, yes, they turn into dream fish at several points. But: other than that, it does make sense. Like the up and coming swim team doesn't just beat everyone, and if they break the rules (which, spoiler, they do), they're disqualified. Pace: Really slow. This is a drama, remember. There's not that many competitions.

Art style: Drool worthy. This is a KyoAni show, meaning it is Very Pretty with Very Detailed Sparkly Eyes and Incredibly Animated Water and let's not even get into the work they put in the, uh, musculature of all these half naked young men. Everything is pretty and everyone is hot. Favourite emo shark: Have you taken a good look at the drama queen that is Rin? He's such a theatrical little shit, and god it's so amazing to see his turnaround in season two. He’s a great, if somewhat self-involved character. Best tsun: He doesn't show up until the second season but holy moly Sousuke is everything. He's sensitive, he's hot and he's a classic tortured soul who cares about his friends too much while trying to keep all his feels bottled up.

Early scene: When I say Free is about growing up, this is what I mean. At the beginning of each season, the characters tend to be struggling with something, which is resolved through, uh, the power of friendship. And dream fish. In this case, Haru is just so done with life. He has the ennui of a 70 year old veteran.

Later scene: This is still my favourite line in that whole first season, because it both shows some of the deeper underlying story, with Rei being personally affected and probably a little miffed by the constant talk about Rin, while also hammering home his innate politeness. The whole thing culminates in what should be a showdown but ends up being very silly. (protect Rei! He deserves all the love).

The good:

This show is pretty damn deep. It really digs into the feels, man.

So, so pretty.

So much drama. It has a very good pull. It’s one of those shows I need to stop myself from watching on the train, because I squeal and flail.

The bad:

It’s pretty campy. There’s a few scenes, certainly in the early episodes of each season, that are just too much, like the … penguin bathing suit on Rei, and that whole ‘join our swim club’ thing in S2.

Advice: This was one of my first sports animes and it will always be one of my favourites. The show has a very deep storyline and well developed characters. It's gotten a bad rap as queer- and fujoshi bait as of late, but that's honestly only there if you're looking for it. (I legit didn't see gay subtext the first time I watched this show). So just clear your mind and enjoy the plot and the pretty.

Haikyuu!!

Sport: Volleyball Type: Ensemble cast. There are so many characters and they're all super nice and have pretty well developed backgrounds. Some of the most interesting ones tend to be side characters, even, because there's such a wealth of personalities. Realism vs freak duo: Pretty realistic. From what people tell me, it's a pretty good representation of specifically Asian style of volleyball. The freak duo are awfully fast tho. Pace: Medium. A season usually consists of a training arc and some kind of tournament. The important matches take like ten episodes. However: many things happen in said match and you know the life story of every single participant, including coaches and maybe like a referee afterwards.

Art style: Pretty cool. Everyone is cute and 'feels' like they're the right age. It does this thing occasionally where it draws on the horror past of the mangaka, and turns a character into a scary badass, which is just Really Cool, you guys. Best tsun: Where to even start? As mentioned, this show has what is probably the biggest cast of lovable characters in sports anime. So what the hell, I'll go for the second protagonist: Kageyama. This kid is the sports prodigy with the terrible social skills and past trauma that has a really cute amount of character development. Favourite owl: Bokuto. For a show that has so many random animal themes, Bokuto both embodies the traditional wisdom associated with owls, but also that thing where they crane their head ninety degrees?

Early scene: Early Haikyuu is oddly dramatic. It's the part where the Karasuno boys still need to work on their confidence and regain their trust in each other. I am utterly in love with this particular scene because it's a really nice example of early character development in Kageyama. He's just... squaring off against an old ally, while his new buddy is listening. At the same time it’s also a light scene, because of Hinata’s typical reaction to “tall people in bathrooms”.

Later scene: Haikyuu has some really nice action sequences. The single screenshot doesn't really do it justice, but this is one of my faves because it falls into the theme of ‘getting better through failing a million times’. The reason Hinata there can do flying falls so well, is because his team is just kinda bad at first.

The good:

Really well written characters, and a ton of them. I cannot stress this enough. This is so good for character development addicts.

This show also stays away from many tropes and exaggerated themes that some sports anime fall into.

The bad:

Haikyuu syndrome: you don't know who to cheer for.

Popularity issues: S3 has ten episodes and still drags a little, because it’s being made too fast to follow the manga.

Advice: There's a reason everyone is obsessed with Haikyuu. This is the standard and honestly the best traditional sports anime made in the past few years. It's weirdly mundane but it does everything so well, with spot-on characterisation and pace and storytelling and visual setting.

Kuroko no Basket

Sport: Basketball Type: Half and half. The main plot is pretty clear and feels almost like an rpg style quest where Kuroko needs to beat all his former team mates and collect all the stars in order to unlock the Winter Cup Final and Fix All the Things. What makes the show good, however, is the cast and the variety in opponents.  Realism vs lasers: All the lasers. This show is the reason I even added a ‘realism’ category. Everyone has special abilities, ridiculous amounts of things happen in a split second... this is not how you basketball. It’s nice to look at tho. Pace: Medium to slow. 75 episodes cover about two tournaments (admittedly they're long tournaments). An ova is coming out this year that covers one reunion match. There's a lot of flashbacks to break up the monotony, including a very long one about middle school.

Art style: Over the top bishi. These dudes are supposed to be 16 and they all look like twenty something models. Also, just so many lasers and special effects. Not that I'm complaining. Favourite flamboyant boy model: Kise did nothing wrong, he just wants to play basketball with his friends and I will defend him with my life (Kise Defence Squad 2k17). Best tsun: Aomine is bae. While his character is a walking trope, he just does it so well, ok. He's one of the first 'villains' and his redemption arc is just extremely satisfying.

Early scene: Also known as 'the one where I started screaming'. Since one of the main themes in KnB is the power of friendship, and how each of the overpowered Miracles needs to learn to work together with their new team, this one hits right in the feels. Kise just completely overworked himself and his super grumpy senpai comes to the rescue.

Later scene: Did I mention the lasers? This is actually a rather powerful scene, since it's the main characters super attack, and the reason antagonist Aomine there can stop it, is because they used to be best friends before he went over to the dark side (this really sounds like a fantasy epos doesn't it).

The good:

It's so over the top I can't even.

Memorable characters. And I don't just mean the main team and the Miracles. I'm talking asshole antagonists that still deserve their own fan club. 

The bad:

Towards the later seasons, it starts to feel a bit stretched. Like a match takes a Really Long Time and everyone needs to use their ability at least once. It does drag on a bit.

Advice: This is a super popular sports anime and I can understand why. It's a high drama, super over the top laser spectacle. The characters have an odd pull to them, in that I only watched the show once, a year ago, but I'm still writing fanfic for them. They get in your head and sort of don't leave. It's a good show and it's well written. Go watch it if you like your sports anime with an extra dose of steroids.

Ookiku Furikabutte (Big Windup!)

Sport: Baseball Type: Drama. It has a good ensemble cast, but the focus is squarely on the two main characters. This is basically a show about overcoming your past self. Realism vs pitching technique: Pretty high on the realism scale? The main idea behind Ookiku Furikabutte is that the main character has a weird pitching technique which beats everyone if paired up with the right strategy. So there’s that. It also does that thing where a lot of stuff happens in the last few minutes of a match. Pace: Medium. A match takes like two to three episodes on average and there’s some training camps in between.

Art style: Adorable. The art is very simple and stylized, making everyone look really young. At times you also get the chibi thing, where mostly Mihashi resembles some kind of small chicken (which is apt, let's be fair). Favourite fairy godmother: Coach Momoe is both a complete badass, and one of those teacher figures that speaks in riddles half the time and then tries to make the kids come up with the answer themselves. It's nice to see that style of character in the shape of a twenty something girl with pigtails. Favourite tsun: Abe is such a good character because while he does the 'tortured soul' bit rather well, he's also a complete dickhead. Seeing him become less of an ass is nice.

Early scene: This scene, while, just, so gay, is also the part where Abe figures out what Mihashi has been going through and what he, as his catcher, should maybe do about that. There's an awful lot going on for a scene this understated.

Later scene: The big dramatic climax of season one has Mihashi finally realizing a number of things, in the last inning of a match, in the pouring rain, because of course.

The good:

 I like the childlike quality of the characters. People like Tajima feel and act very young, which is pretty damn realistic. It has a sort of carefree feel to it, despite the rather heavy load of teenage angst going on underneath.

Supportive parents. Like for real, this is one of the very, very few series that actively shows moms going to watch their sons games and supporting the team. Parents exists in this world and that is neat.

The bad:

The main character is a mess, which gets annoying. And then I feel bad about finding him annoying.

The bullying and random bouts of sexism are kinda hard to watch at times.

Advice: This is one of the lesser known sports animes but it’s really worth a shot. Watch if you’re into some deep-digging, realistic teenage angst. It has some very complex relationships, characters with a believable mixture of maturity and a classic underdog sports team plot.

Prince of Stride

Sport: Parcour Type: Ensemble cast. It's based on an otome game. There is cute innocent boy, serious glasses boy, hot older boy, etc. You can almost tick them off. Somehow they're all models and idols also. Realism vs organized parcour: So parcour, I'm fairly certain, is not a sport that has school tournaments. Having said that, I like how they put it into animation, with stuff like wind mattering and just having what is basically an obstacle course for these kids to run. Soo... medium realism. Pace: Pretty high. They crammed a fair amount of stuff into 12 episodes.

Art style: Flashy. I really like the use of really sharp, almost garish colours. It gives the show quite a pop. The art is well done and, since it's based on an otome game, everything is pretty and everyone is tall, thin and extremely bishounen. Favourite wind machine using biker: It's like every scene involving Kuga has to have him somehow showing off his bod and long flowing hair in just the right amount of wind. I approve of this amount of camp. Favourite tsun: Heath is a hot half-American model that is voiced by Ono D. Case closed.

Early scene: Fujiwara is mildly insane and will do anything to make sure the running team has enough members. Including kidnapping based on calf strength.

Later scene : They're high-fiving.... like bros....

The good:

One of the best bits about Stride is that it's obviously a high budget anime. The cast reads like a 'who's who' of your favourite voice actors so you end up doing that thing where every time a new character is talking you pause to go back to the cast list and go 'ohhh, it's that guy, I knew it!' (surely I am not the only one who does this).

The bad:

The amount of trope that the characters embody made them fall a bit flat for me. It just felt slightly more shallow than some of the others on this list. Like, it tried real hard, but it never really pulled me in.

Advice: Ehhh. Good visuals, but not much else. This is honestly such a missed chance. When it came out, the premise was so promising and I really wanted to love it. It looks sleek and stylish but for me it lacks bite. It tries, it really does, but it misses that depth of character and storyline that makes a truly good series.

Yowamushi Pedal

Sport: Road cycling Type: Ensemble cast, mostly of the main team Sohoku and the rival champion team Hakone. The interaction between these guys is a lot of fun. Realism vs time travel: Uhhhhhhhh. Ok, so that's not how cycling works and anyone who's ever been on a bike knows this. The 'pack' doesn't get infinitely stronger and faster as more people join, the power of friendship and grit alone will not make you come back from the last spot in a massive race etc. That's not even talking about the weird stunts Midousuji pulls and the special pokemon abilities of some of these guys. It's pretty out there. Pace: Weird. Let me explain. This show sprints through the year, enough that three seasons in, the third years have actually retired from the team (gasp!). But at the same time it’s just... so slow. This is one of those shows that takes an entire episode to cover what is essentially less than a minute of real life time, because it keeps cutting to flashbacks and takes the time to do motivational speeches and tearful send-offs while the characters race along at sixty miles per hour. It's amazing.

Art style: Cartoony and exaggerated. Like, very few people are 'drawn hot'. At times the art style feels like mid nineties anime, but it is very effective, especially with the over the top Dramatic Scenes™. Best tsun: I am mildly in love with Makishima ok? With his stupid ridiculously coloured hair and his horrific clothes. He can best be described as a sensitive weirdo and he's amazing. Favourite angel boy: Manami is a great character because of his hidden depths. He seems on the surface to be your typical fun, pure, bike loving doof. He has glass wings as his special ability. But then you figure out that he's also low key psychotic and obsessed with mortality and that is cool AF.

Early scene: I like that thing they do where they ‘send off’ a guy. And they do it a lot. Not sure if that’s how physics works, but somehow pushing a colleague on the back makes him shoot off, with all the spirit and hopes and dreams of the pusher as the wing beneath their wings (or something).

Later scene: Onoda uses the cadence of an anime song to help his buddy get in rhythm. I have many questions about this scene. How does Tadoroko know the lyrics to the hime hime song? Shouldn’t they be saving their breath if they’re that tired? Many questions.  

The good:

This show is the most dramatic thing ever? I think it's partly the art style, but every episode it feels like half the main cast has somehow died, judging by the angry close ups and random eulogies. It's so over the top.

My second favourite thing is the little slice of life sketch you get after the credits each time. They are usually very silly little clips that give some background to the characters and their interactions. It's fandom gold.

The bad:

While I love the over-the-top-ness, they sometimes go too far. Like they have so many motivational speeches, and some of the races are so dragged out that you get frustrated. In some of the later episodes it feels like very little actually happens in the twenty minutes of screen time.

Advice: Watch it but take heed. There is a lot of YowaPeda and it's very moreish. I binged 63 episodes and a god damned movie in what amounts to less than two weeks. That is not healthy. It gets under your skin.

Yuri!!! on Ice

Sport: Figure skating Type: Drama. Unless you’ve avoided tumblr for the last half of 2016, you know that this is mostly a love story set to the background of an international ice skating competition. That being said, the cast is A+ and all of them are intensely lovable. Realism vs quads: I have doubts about the points some of the skaters receive (Otabek should get bronze!) and apparently quads are really not as common as the show makes them out to be. Having said that, the amount of detail and beauty that is put into each of the choreographies is worth all the realism points.So high realism. Pace: Ridiculously fast. The amount of tournaments and background and, just, character development these people manage to cram into 12 episodes makes my head reel. This is why you should watch every episodes at least two times.

Art style: Gorgeous. The animation is really really good. It does the thing where some frames are super detailed (the lips! the eyelashes!), while others are more stylized or downright cartooney. It mixes styles a lot to best get a point across. Best tsun: Yuri Plisetsky is such a joy of an angry teenager. He is so very grumpy and so very sensitive at the same time? Also: cats. Love him. Favourite Russian legend: It’s hard to pick a fave character but Victor is just so serious and disciplined, but then also utterly flamboyant and an idiot in love. I want my very own victor. Someone commercialize him.

Early scene: Let's not spoil the whole plot with the most famous scenes, shall we? Let’s go with Yuuri performing “Stand close to me”. It’s a routine he saw performed by his idol. It’s so heartfelt? Also the jump start to the series.

Later scene: Yuuri being a bro.Yuuri, a classic tsun, is hard to befriend, but he really is such a good kid, and he cares so much that he goes out of his way to cheer up friends and I just want to hug him.

The good:

YoI is extremely meta. There's a reason you could compile a library of analyses just from tumblr. It knows all the tropes and plays with them like a cat plays with one of those jingley balls. You think the girl will be a love interest? Bam: triplets and a husband. You think Victor is a playboy? Bam: episode ten will make your head reel. You think Yurio is just your basic shounen jump antagonist? Bam: episode twelve will kill you dead with your assumptions. It's anti trope.

Representation of an actual healthy romantic relationship between two male characters is still pretty rare, so I’ll commend it for that.

High pull factor, in the sense that it’s very easy to get invested.

The bad: 

Haikyuu syndrome (I really felt bad for Christophe, and Seung Gil, and JJ and...).

At times it goes slightly overboard on the camp. Christophe coming on the ice is just... no.

Advice: FFS yes. Just watch it. It's so well done that it manages to hook people who don't even like anime. I'm not even gonna tell you to stay away if you are improbably scared of gay things. Watch it and better your life. Love wins.

[kiribbeanplays-blog]

Character Critiques - Machop Family

From brains and back to brawn, the Machop family is next to review!

Machop is one of the more difficult cases for me to review. As I’ve mentioned in past articles, my childhood had an incredibly strict definition of what makes a character worth even looking at. Originally, I didn’t care about Machop nearly as much as the fire-spitting not-really-a-dragon, Charizard.

Fortunately, my tastes have expanded as I’ve grown older. It took several years, but I’ve finally grown an appreciation for Machop and its evolutions.

Unfortunately, Machop still doesn’t rank very high in my book. It’s an okay design, but it’s cursed with artistic choices that make it feel downright clunky - at least to me, personally.

On paper, Machop’s core concept is highly amusing. It’s a child-sized, muscular lizard-man that can hurl a hundred adult humans without so much as breaking a sweat. A few Pokédex entries mention that Machop will casually use Gravelers as dumbbells (which are approximately five and a half times heavier than Machop). I love the mental image of a Machop plucking a confused rock monster from where it stands - not for hunting purposes, but just for exercising its muscles.

I have no problems with the ideas behind Machop. It’s the visual design that bugs me - but not even the entire thing. There are only incredibly specific details that I deem “clunky.”

Luckily, there are plenty of images I can use to illustrate my point. With that, I’ll go down a short list of what I think “doesn’t” work on Machop’s design, followed by what I feel is more fitting.

Firstly, I’ve never cared for Machop’s “vanilla” feet. What appear as short and stumpy limbs in Ken Sugimori’s art is actually the result of foreshortening. In profile, they’re actually boring, featureless loaves of bread that look like how I used to draw feet as a child.

The foreshortening accidentally creates a greater, visually striking shape. I think Machop looks more interesting with abstract, almost hoof-like feet. It’s a little bizarre, sure, but in a good way.

Secondly, while I don’t hate Machop’s general body shape, I also think it looks better in older artwork. There was a time Machop practically had a beer gut, with various degrees of exaggeration depending on the artist who drew it.

Especially with the Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire sprite, I argue that Machop can look downright unsettling with such weird proportions. It injects an extra indescribable alien feel to the rest of its design.

Oh, and this Japan-exclusive Battrio puck? Everything about it looks bad.

This is by far the worst Machop art I’ve ever seen. I’m at a loss for words. Just… don’t make it look like this.

I may only have a couple (arguably minor) problems with Machop’s design. However, when this character is so minimalistic, every detail counts. A simple change of its feet or belly shape stand out sharper than a character with many smaller details.

Machop isn’t an awful design, but a couple personal gripes prevent it from being something I’d consider great.

Also, can we take a moment to admire Machop performing armpit farts in Diamond and Pearl?

If you’re going to make a lizardman monster, why not go all out and make it as humanlike as possible?

Machoke may simply look like a cartoony human wearing a lizard mask, but that could be taken as a complement. I grew up watching a lot of cheesy-awesome science fiction media, where monster designs like these are commonplace. Because of that, Machoke feels like a loving parody!

I mean, Machoke looks like something Captain Kirk or the Robinson family fought against. It’s brilliant!

Unlike with Machop, I have little to no complaints about Machoke’s design. It’s another simplistic design, but all the little details fit nicely.

I love how Machoke’s crest doubles as a mohawk. The triangular “Anime eyes” add to the cheesiness of its design in an endearing way. Most of all, I like how the red stripes on its arms help highlight its muscular build.

Although, those stripes gain a creepy factor the more I analyze them. Are they just red tattoos, or visible blood vessels? Or is it torn skin because Machoke is literally ripped?

Eugh, what an eerie thought. Since the Pokédex doesn’t go into detail about this topic, it’s safe to assume they’re just markings.

I only scratch my head over one part of Machoke’s design: the obvious belt and pants it’s wearing. I get that the belt symbolizes Machoke’s love for martial arts. From a lore standpoint, however, it’s confusing. Do all Machoke sew their own garments? Where do they get the belt from? More importantly, how does Machop spontaneously evolve pants onto its body?

Well, no matter the mystery, I’m kind of glad that Machoke isn’t buck naked instead. Based on personal observation, we humans instinctively get nervous when staring at nude, crotchless aliens that share the same anatomy as ours. I guess it’s because we’re such self-conscious animals.

Even if it breaks continuity, we have to clothe these fictional creatures to break the awkwardness. The blue cats in James Cameron’s Avatar are a perfect example of what I mean (they reproduce through their hair, which is always exposed. What exactly do they have to hide at the bikini line?).There’s no proof that Machoke’s belt was added for this reason, but I think it’s fair speculation.

Moving on from that overanalysis, there’s still discussion to be had in Machoke’s personality. At first glance, it’s nothing unexpected; as a bodybuilder, Machoke loves to constantly flex and showcase its muscles. It’s easy to assume that Machoke would be a hotheaded narcissist, right?

As it turns out, Machoke is quite a humble Pokémon. It loves to work out, but isn’t explicitly competitive. Its waistbelt is designed to restrain its full strength, or else it’d be an overwhelming powerhouse. This may suggest that Machoke always ensures a challenging but fair fight against its opponents. Despite its obsession with training, Machoke actually shows impressive sportsmanship.

In addition, Machoke takes immense pride and joy using its strength to help others. Most commonly, it lends a hand at construction sites. But other instances, such as the Anime, illustrate Machoke helping little old ladies carry heavy baskets around. I absolutely adore the “gentle giant” concept going on with Machoke!

I’m just about ready to wrap up this (surprisingly lengthy) review on Machoke. There’s just one more minor topic I want to discuss.

In the past, I’ve brought up how several idle animations for Pokémon were very different back in Stadium and Colosseum/XD. Machoke in particular has always stuck in my memory as having the most contradictory idle movement ever.

All that talk about Machoke looking tough, but actually having a sweet personality, is not illustrated here. The way it’s hunched over and swaying its arms makes Machoke look more like a gorilla. It feels more like a primitive killing machine, rather than a collected brawler.

Compare this animation to Machoke’s generation VI+ sprite:

This is one of the times I actually approve a stiffer, subtly-moving idle animation. Machoke is standing its ground, but also keeping that calm and modest demeanor talked about in the Pokédex. This feels much more in-character than the older animation. I’m glad that Game Freak went with this decision.

Machoke’s prominence in the games and TV shows has helped flesh out its character over the years. I may not think about this Pokémon a whole lot when discussing the franchise, but I can talk a surprising amount about its design. All in all, Machoke is a solid character.

I didn’t think things could get even more cheesy awesome after Machoke, but Machamp has proven me wrong.

This four-armed, duck-faced muscle man looks like it could show up as an adversary for WWE. It even has a rash fighting spirit to go with its looks.

Japanese culture seems to love comically muscled superheroes. Think of Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist and Hildebrand's father in Final Fantasy XIV. Machamp is another one of those wacky, purposefully over-the-top characters, often wearing little more than their underpants.

I’m puzzled that I never liked Machamp as a kid. I tried (in vain) to watch as many Power Rangers episodes as I could, so this campy Pokémon should have been right up my alley. Alas, I instead ignored it for being “too ugly” or something.

I know I’ve been bashing my childhood in these articles as of late, but come on, past me! Look at what you’ve been missing!

What’s really sold me with Machamp is its appearance in Pokkén Tournament. I’ve yet to play it myself, but I’ve seen its wonderful animations through Youtube videos.

This is everything I was hoping for when I made the previous WWE connections. The way Machamp struts its musclebound prowess, gleefully poses like a superhero, and throws temper tantrums when things go awry are absolutely perfect for its character. Best of all, Machamp incorporates all these comical human behaviors while keeping that “mutant animal” aesthetic just like its other fellow Pokémon.

Funnily enough, I originally didn’t expect this Character Critiques to be so glowing. Machop’s family - and especially Machamp - were Pokémon I’ve never given much thought over. But now, I’ve realized how much Machamp embodies the appeal of the cheesy-but-awesome media I’ve always loved.

[virginieboesus]

7 Of The Worst Movies Based On Games

The video game and movie industries have had a very rocky relationship ever since they first got together. That much is pretty well documented already. I mean, there have been some good, or at least average, movies that were based upon games… The first Resident Evil movie comes to mind, as does the first Silent Hill movie. However, there have also been some outright terrible attempts to create video game related movies.

From films that utterly miss the point of the games to ones that would have been better off without the video game connection, we’ve had our fair share and more of bad tie-ins. Everyone knows that a video game tie-in to a movie is usually going to be terrible, but the same is true the other way around. That’s why, today, we’re going to look at 7 of the worst movies based upon video games that have ever been created!

7. Doom

The Doom game franchise was once the king of first-person shooters… Whilst the gaming side of the franchise may have reinstated this title in recent times with the release of DOOM (aka Doom 4) on the PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC, it will never escape the legacy of the live action movie. Rather than dealing with the religious aspect of Doom, whereby the creatures are literally coming from Hell, the movie decided to go down a much more generic route. With scientists on Mars bringing to light an artificially created chromosome that subsequently infects the entire colony, people who lived and worked there are turned into a variety of different monsters.

However, to make this change in the base plot even more detached from the actual games, this infection will only turn you into a monster if you were already inherently evil. I mean, I would like to say that this feels like it could have been written by a child, but then, they would probably have come up with something better. Add to this the fact that the characters are wholly unrelatable and just unlikeable, and you have a recipe for disaster. The movie even features Karl Urban (a tremendous actor) and The Rock, but even that super-team couldn’t make this movie work.

Also, why does a movie based on a first-person shooter end with a battle of fists?

6. Double Dragon

Now, you’d think that taking a beat-em-up gaming and turning it into an action movie would be one of the easiest things you could possibly do, right? I mean, the entire formula is there for you already! Sure, the storyline of Double Dragon isn’t exactly Oscar-worthy, but then, you wouldn’t expect a particularly deep story from an action movie anyway. So you would need to really do a bad job to screw up a movie based on Double Dragon, right?

Well, that’s exactly what the director and crew of the Double Dragon movie decided to do! Taking place in the year 2007 after a huge earthquake totalled most of Los Angeles, leaving it a flooded shell of a city, the movie features some of the most un-gang-like gangs ever! On top of that, they somehow managed to make Robert Patrick (of Terminator 2 and X-Files fame, amongst other great roles) look even more pointless as an antagonist that Samuel L Jackson’s character in Kingsman – the big difference being that Kingsman did it on purpose and it worked well because of that.

Everything about this movie screams a misunderstanding of the game itself, or a blatant lack of care about it.

5. Resident Evil: Extinction (And All Subsequent Sequels)

Now, I’m in the minority of gaming fans who actually enjoy Resident Evil: Apocalypse, the second movie in the live action series. Yes, Paul W S Anderson had made his wife (Milla Jovovich) the main character, pushing Jill Valentine to the background, despite the movie being (very loosely) based upon Resident Evil: Nemesis… But it was still an entertaining action movie (but not a horror movie in the slightest). For me, the entire movie series went downhill when we got to Resident Evil: Extinction (and onwards).

RE: Extinction featured Alice (Jovovich’s character) using telekinesis to move flames around the air and burn all of the zombie crows. It took one of the video game series’ most beloved characters, Claire Redfield, and stripped her of all likeable qualities (likely so that attention would be focused on Alice), and turned an already messed up Carlos into a shadow of his former self. From there, things just got worse, with the characters that we loved from the games being treated like afterthoughts! The first movie was an interesting take on the Resident Evil idea, but the reason it worked was that Alice wasn’t an over-powered Goddess and it didn’t feature any of the characters from the games to tarnish. The second was an average yet entertaining affair, whilst everything after that would do best being put in the nappy-bin where they belong.

4. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

The first Mortal Kombat movie was an entertaining romp featuring some reasonable fight scenes and a plot that actually managed to fit in with the game, mostly. But by the time the sequel came around, we were all in for a laughable excuse for a movie! To begin with, they recast a number of returning characters, killed off one of them right at the beginning, and had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a film. Even as a young lad, I knew how absolutely terrible the movie was!

The dialogue is also atrocious, making the original Resident Evil (with it’s “Jill sandwich line included) looking like Oscar-worthy gold! In fact, the only reason I would ever put this movie on again is to listen to the epic theme song. But then, I could just listen to it on Spotify and save myself the torture that is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

3. BloodRayne

Looking back on the genre as a whole, Vampire movies haven’t had a very good time this century. From being absolutely tarnished by the likes of Twilight, to the fact that the Underworld series started off so well and then just went downhill with every movie after the third, the genre has had a lot of trouble. One movie that did nothing but make this even worse was BloodRayne. Now, the games that this movie was based on are actually really rather fun to play. Sadly, Uwe Boll got hold of the movie rights, and that spelt doom for the film straight away.

With everything from the wrong time period for the setting, action sequences that look like they would be more fitting on an episode of East Enders, and acting from top quality actors that feels like the “phone in” equivalent, it really is an awful movie. How did it go so wrong? Oh yeah… Uwe Boll.

2. Super Mario Bros

Well, here we are; the video game movie that started the crossover industry, and also the first one to let us all down. It is rather common knowledge that this movie is utterly terrible, but what you might not know is that the directors actually wanted to make a cyberpunk movie, which is why everything in Super Mario Bros looks so dystopian and futuristic. As fans of the games, this caused a lot of confusion and outright annoyance for viewers, due to the complete change in the way that the Mushroom Kingdom looked. On top of that, the goombas look horrific, bearing no resemblance to their video game counterparts.

Another interesting fact about the movie comes from the casting; Mario and Luigi are supposed to be brothers, right? So why are they from two different ethnicities? Everything about Super Mario Bros is confused, contrived and just downright badly made. This movie set the precedent for video games movies to come, and for that alone, it would feature high up on this list. However, add to that the fact that it is just a generally terrible movie, and it more than earns the number two spot!

1. House of the Dead

Zombie movies are everywhere these days. In fact, zombies, in general, have taken over the big screen, small screen and gaming industry like a digital apocalypse. Sadly, that means that you’ll naturally get some films that were best left to rot. It should come as no surprise that this particular “gem” of a movie was directed by Uwe Boll (again). It starts off as a generic teen horror movie with a bunch of people going to a rave on an island that then because infested with zombies. From there, we get one of the most confusingly directed movies ever. Scenes will switch between the teenagers screaming and running for their lives, to shots of them pulling of Trinity-esque slow motion kicks from The Matrix!

This, plus the complete lack of a connection to the game, makes you wonder how Uwe Boll ever manages to get the rights to anything anymore!

And That’s All Folks

Those are 7 of the worst movies ever made based on video games. There are, of course, a reverant tonne of others that could have made this list, so I may make a sequel to this post in the future.

What video game movie do you hate the most? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games source https://smartstartblogging.tumblr.com/post/174335533990

[smartstartblogging]

7 Of The Worst Movies Based On Games

The video game and movie industries have had a very rocky relationship ever since they first got together. That much is pretty well documented already. I mean, there have been some good, or at least average, movies that were based upon games… The first Resident Evil movie comes to mind, as does the first Silent Hill movie. However, there have also been some outright terrible attempts to create video game related movies.

From films that utterly miss the point of the games to ones that would have been better off without the video game connection, we’ve had our fair share and more of bad tie-ins. Everyone knows that a video game tie-in to a movie is usually going to be terrible, but the same is true the other way around. That’s why, today, we’re going to look at 7 of the worst movies based upon video games that have ever been created!

7. Doom

The Doom game franchise was once the king of first-person shooters… Whilst the gaming side of the franchise may have reinstated this title in recent times with the release of DOOM (aka Doom 4) on the PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC, it will never escape the legacy of the live action movie. Rather than dealing with the religious aspect of Doom, whereby the creatures are literally coming from Hell, the movie decided to go down a much more generic route. With scientists on Mars bringing to light an artificially created chromosome that subsequently infects the entire colony, people who lived and worked there are turned into a variety of different monsters.

However, to make this change in the base plot even more detached from the actual games, this infection will only turn you into a monster if you were already inherently evil. I mean, I would like to say that this feels like it could have been written by a child, but then, they would probably have come up with something better. Add to this the fact that the characters are wholly unrelatable and just unlikeable, and you have a recipe for disaster. The movie even features Karl Urban (a tremendous actor) and The Rock, but even that super-team couldn’t make this movie work.

Also, why does a movie based on a first-person shooter end with a battle of fists?

6. Double Dragon

Now, you’d think that taking a beat-em-up gaming and turning it into an action movie would be one of the easiest things you could possibly do, right? I mean, the entire formula is there for you already! Sure, the storyline of Double Dragon isn’t exactly Oscar-worthy, but then, you wouldn’t expect a particularly deep story from an action movie anyway. So you would need to really do a bad job to screw up a movie based on Double Dragon, right?

Well, that’s exactly what the director and crew of the Double Dragon movie decided to do! Taking place in the year 2007 after a huge earthquake totalled most of Los Angeles, leaving it a flooded shell of a city, the movie features some of the most un-gang-like gangs ever! On top of that, they somehow managed to make Robert Patrick (of Terminator 2 and X-Files fame, amongst other great roles) look even more pointless as an antagonist that Samuel L Jackson’s character in Kingsman – the big difference being that Kingsman did it on purpose and it worked well because of that.

Everything about this movie screams a misunderstanding of the game itself, or a blatant lack of care about it.

5. Resident Evil: Extinction (And All Subsequent Sequels)

Now, I’m in the minority of gaming fans who actually enjoy Resident Evil: Apocalypse, the second movie in the live action series. Yes, Paul W S Anderson had made his wife (Milla Jovovich) the main character, pushing Jill Valentine to the background, despite the movie being (very loosely) based upon Resident Evil: Nemesis… But it was still an entertaining action movie (but not a horror movie in the slightest). For me, the entire movie series went downhill when we got to Resident Evil: Extinction (and onwards).

RE: Extinction featured Alice (Jovovich’s character) using telekinesis to move flames around the air and burn all of the zombie crows. It took one of the video game series’ most beloved characters, Claire Redfield, and stripped her of all likeable qualities (likely so that attention would be focused on Alice), and turned an already messed up Carlos into a shadow of his former self. From there, things just got worse, with the characters that we loved from the games being treated like afterthoughts! The first movie was an interesting take on the Resident Evil idea, but the reason it worked was that Alice wasn’t an over-powered Goddess and it didn’t feature any of the characters from the games to tarnish. The second was an average yet entertaining affair, whilst everything after that would do best being put in the nappy-bin where they belong.

4. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

The first Mortal Kombat movie was an entertaining romp featuring some reasonable fight scenes and a plot that actually managed to fit in with the game, mostly. But by the time the sequel came around, we were all in for a laughable excuse for a movie! To begin with, they recast a number of returning characters, killed off one of them right at the beginning, and had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a film. Even as a young lad, I knew how absolutely terrible the movie was!

The dialogue is also atrocious, making the original Resident Evil (with it’s “Jill sandwich line included) looking like Oscar-worthy gold! In fact, the only reason I would ever put this movie on again is to listen to the epic theme song. But then, I could just listen to it on Spotify and save myself the torture that is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

3. BloodRayne

Looking back on the genre as a whole, Vampire movies haven’t had a very good time this century. From being absolutely tarnished by the likes of Twilight, to the fact that the Underworld series started off so well and then just went downhill with every movie after the third, the genre has had a lot of trouble. One movie that did nothing but make this even worse was BloodRayne. Now, the games that this movie was based on are actually really rather fun to play. Sadly, Uwe Boll got hold of the movie rights, and that spelt doom for the film straight away.

With everything from the wrong time period for the setting, action sequences that look like they would be more fitting on an episode of East Enders, and acting from top quality actors that feels like the “phone in” equivalent, it really is an awful movie. How did it go so wrong? Oh yeah… Uwe Boll.

2. Super Mario Bros

Well, here we are; the video game movie that started the crossover industry, and also the first one to let us all down. It is rather common knowledge that this movie is utterly terrible, but what you might not know is that the directors actually wanted to make a cyberpunk movie, which is why everything in Super Mario Bros looks so dystopian and futuristic. As fans of the games, this caused a lot of confusion and outright annoyance for viewers, due to the complete change in the way that the Mushroom Kingdom looked. On top of that, the goombas look horrific, bearing no resemblance to their video game counterparts.

Another interesting fact about the movie comes from the casting; Mario and Luigi are supposed to be brothers, right? So why are they from two different ethnicities? Everything about Super Mario Bros is confused, contrived and just downright badly made. This movie set the precedent for video games movies to come, and for that alone, it would feature high up on this list. However, add to that the fact that it is just a generally terrible movie, and it more than earns the number two spot!

1. House of the Dead

Zombie movies are everywhere these days. In fact, zombies, in general, have taken over the big screen, small screen and gaming industry like a digital apocalypse. Sadly, that means that you’ll naturally get some films that were best left to rot. It should come as no surprise that this particular “gem” of a movie was directed by Uwe Boll (again). It starts off as a generic teen horror movie with a bunch of people going to a rave on an island that then because infested with zombies. From there, we get one of the most confusingly directed movies ever. Scenes will switch between the teenagers screaming and running for their lives, to shots of them pulling of Trinity-esque slow motion kicks from The Matrix!

This, plus the complete lack of a connection to the game, makes you wonder how Uwe Boll ever manages to get the rights to anything anymore!

And That’s All Folks

Those are 7 of the worst movies ever made based on video games. There are, of course, a reverant tonne of others that could have made this list, so I may make a sequel to this post in the future.

What video game movie do you hate the most? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-7th Place

>Insert long exaggerated sigh here<

It’s here that I really, really, REALLY hope nobody that I know personally is reading these.

(Also, sorry that this was a day late)

#7-My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010-2019)

The Plot: In the land of Equestria, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle moves to a happy little town called Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. There, she meets her best friends Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. Together they’ll do what most friends do. Which is to sing songs, defeat creatures who seek to destroy everything, and learn that friendship truly is magic.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Hell, I knew what you were thinking before I even explained the plot: “Isn’t this just a show for little girls that twenty-year-old losers fell in love with? How is this in the top 10?!” Now I’ll be the first to admit, there was a time when I didn’t get it either. When I heard that a fanbase grew around a My Little Pony reboot, I thought people were losing their minds. But, on one fateful day in 2014, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to watch ONE episode that seemed interesting to me. Unfortunately, it was the first episode in season two, and I had no idea what was going on within the first few minutes. So then I decided to watch the entirety of season one and then ONLY watch that episode in season two. And the episode after that because apparently, it was a two-parter. And then I watched the next episode after THAT because it also seemed interesting to me, plus the episode after that, for no reason other than I just wanted to. And then I watched all the rest of the series until the season four finale. And the two spin-off movies called Equestria Girls and Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks. Soon, I found myself reading fan-fiction, writing fan-fiction, looking at fanart, and even reading these spin-off comics that aren’t even canon, but I just couldn’t leave this magical world because it TOOK ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR FOR THE FIFTH SEASON TO PREMIER! ALL BECAUSE I JUST WANTED TO WATCH AN EPISODE WHERE A CHAOS CREATURE MENTALLY BROKE OUR MANE CHARACTERS! AND YES! I DID WRITE MANE INSTEAD OF MAIN BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW DOES TO YOU! IT MAKES YOU SO ACCUSTOMED TO THE WRITING AND LINGO, THAT’S WITHIN BOTH THE SHOW AND IT’S INSANE FANDOM, THAT YOU’LL END UP CATCHING YOURSELF FROM SAYING MANEHATTAN INSTEAD OF MANHATTAN!

>SCREAMS WITH INSANITY<

…

So as you can tell, this show is surprisingly good once you get infested.

The biggest hook it has is the animation. While it doesn’t beat The Amazing World of Gumball’s quality, it is pretty impressive when considering that it’s all done in flash animation. Most flash animated cartoons tend to look cheap and slow, and Friendship is Magic is thankfully one of the rare exceptions. The movements are insanely smooth, and the facial expressions are pretty comical to look at. Even in the background of scenes, viewers will notice a lot of little jokes the animators put in. Seriously, the biggest reason why I kept watching the series for so long was that it was nice to look at (which is the case for most people, from what I’ve heard). And the best part? The animation somehow gets better with each passing season. And only 0.1% of the time does it show it’s cheapness, which isn’t that big of a deal considering there are two hundred and thirty-two episodes with a twenty-two-minute runtime. That’s nearly five thousand, one hundred, and four hours of animation that’s good for 99.9% of the time. While you could argue that it’s not the best, it is still pretty good animation quality.

Another thing that drew me in was the comedy. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean Friendship is Magic is the funniest show on the list (that also goes to Gumball). Humor is subjective, and just because I found myself laughing with this series, that doesn’t mean everyone will be on the same page. That being said, I was surprised by the fact that I found the show funny in the first place. It’s hard to pinpoint what type of humor the show relies on (for me, at least). For some cases, Friendship is Magic has dialogue-based jokes that use smart or random lines to get a laugh out of audiences. Other times it's visual humor that requires slapstick or comical facial expressions that will make people laugh. But while its comedy falls between two different spectrums, that doesn’t change the fact that I find myself losing it every once in a while. Even during some of the worst episodes of Friendship is Magic, there’s at least one line or gag that got me to chuckle at least once.

However, both the animation and the comedy cannot top the main selling point of this series: The characters. Friendship is Magic might just have one of the biggest cast of characters out of any show on this list. Most of them manage to be funny, relatable, and are downright likable to watch. What’s even more astonishing is how well this show handles character growth. To be fair, there can be certain characters whose development is slow, but for the most part, everybody grows significantly with each new lesson they’ve learned. There are even moments when the characters say something along the lines of “I’m no longer that pony I used to be anymore because I finally learned how to change.” However, this doesn’t mean that every pony in the show is worth the time. There are a few unlikeable characters, but they’re either meant to be unlikable, forgotten after an episode’s end, or are redeemed after a triumphant return.

This is good because it’s the characters that make the stories in the show work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is split into two different storytelling genres: Slice of life comedy and adventure fantasy. And unlike Steven Universe, it’s Friendship is Magic that mixes both these genres together perfectly. I’m not joking when I say that an episode where Twilight rekindles an old friendship can be just as intriguing as an episode where Twilight fights this soul-sucking centaur made to look like the devil. Hell, some fans even argue that the slice of life episodes are even better than the adventurous episodes. Because while the adventure episodes are cool and action-packed, it’s the slice of life episodes where the characters are allowed to grow the most and are actually given time to be themselves. As for the grand adventures, while their fun to see, the cast is forced to stick to their central personality traits to move the plot forward.

Unfortunately, as fun as this show can be, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it. Not because there are elements that I think are bad, but because there are elements that might turn people away from watching. And the most significant repulse this show has is also the most important hook.

Yes, the characters in this show are great, but there’s also a lot of them. Some might even say too many. By season nine alone, there are a total of twenty-seven different characters that have the possibility of taking/sharing the spotlight in an episode. And that’s not even counting important figures, recurring antagonists, supporting characters, and even recognizable background ponies (yes, that’s a thing). Because if you want to add those to the mix, you’ve got yourself a total of one hundred and twenty-seven characters (give or take). That is one hundred and twenty-seven different names, faces, and personalities to try to keep track of. Luckily the personalities are easy enough to remember, and it’s mostly the most (in)famous figures that make a return. Even for some of the obscure characters, the show is kind enough to give a brief recap so the audience can get caught up. However, this is reasonably a lot to take in for a casual viewer. Case in point, in season eight, the show decided to add six new characters to the main cast, and it only took me a season and a half to learn their names correctly. It’s even worse since these “new” characters can sometimes feel like carbon copies of the Mane Six (Yes, that’s how the main six characters in the show are referred to as. Deal with it).

And the excessive amount of unnecessary characters are just one issue to deal with. The lessons that the show teaches are another. Before I say anything, I want to clarify that this show has fantastic lessons it teaches kids. In fact, there are even great lessons that are perfect for adults and only adults (know your audience, I guess). However, here’s the thing about morals: Not everyone will share the same view on what’s good and bad to teach children. Every person on this planet has their own life experiences, and with those experiences come different ideas of how the world works. One person can believe that a lesson is good, where others view it as awful and potentially dangerous. Things get especially bad when specific morals are misinterpreted or taken too literally. The best example is the episode “Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep.” I believe that there are two possible lessons within the episode. One is that to truly be forgiven, a person must seek forgiveness from themselves and others. The other conceivable moral is that the cure for self-destruction is to get over it and move on without any professional help whatsoever. Now, take a wild guess on which lesson gets talked about more. And in all honesty, I blame poor/rushed writing that causes specific morals to be muddled, as well as a person’s own life experience in whether or not you find an episode’s lesson to be intriguing or insulting.

Another thing that depends on one’s own personality is (kinda spoilers ahead) how this show handles reformations. I may have commented on how Steven Universe uses redemption poorly, but it’s even worse in Friendship is Magic. This show seems to have the idea that the transition from bad to good is as simple as flipping a light switch. Now, on the one hand, this is not something I should be mad about. The show’s title is Friendship is Magic. So, of course, the series would push that making friends will lead to peace and prosperity. Where making enemies will lead to war and violence. The problem is that from a storytelling standpoint, it isn’t that entertaining. Or, at the very least, not as much as it should be. The art of a good reformation is taking the time for the transition to be believable. Characters suddenly deciding to become good seemingly out of nowhere will do nothing but have audiences rip their hair out of frustration. It doesn’t help that most of the villain’s reasoning and backstories are pretty pathetic when they actually should be sympathetic. However, while the reformation itself can be frustrating, I personally think some characters are made more intriguing post redemption. Don’t get me wrong, these villains were great as they were, being the perfect mix of both funny and terrifying. But when the show actually allows characters to grow and deserve the hand-er-hoof of friendship, they begin to have more fascinating personalities to dissect. Now, not everyone is going to feel this way. And if you genuinely believe these villains were better as villains, I can absolutely see why. But for me, I’ve come to enjoy how far these ex-cons have come from their more evil days. 

But none of this compares to the final controversial element that this show has to offer, where there is a fifty/fifty chance that you’re either going to love it or hate it. I, of course, am talking about...the songs. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has four different types of songs. Depending on the episode, these musical numbers have many purposes. They can move the story forward, only work within the episode’s context, try to one-up Disney, and reveal everything you need to know about a character. Now here’s the thing about the music: I don’t hate it. I’ll admit that the lyrics are pretty lackluster most of the time, but at least most of them sound pleasing to my ears. But I have heard how some people seem to hate these little numbers, and I’m willing to put money on that fans even skip them. Everybody has their own tastes in music, and there’s nothing I can do to convince them otherwise. Only respect their opinions and hope they do the same to mine.

In the end, your enjoyment of this series, once again, depends on who you are. Some of you might think this is a dumb kid's show that should only be viewed by children. Some of you will understand that this show has great characters, comedy, and animation, but you just don’t think it’s for you. And some of you might be like me. A person overwhelmed with curiosity over the weirdest phenomenon in the last eleven years and ended up being pleasantly surprised with how magical the show turned out to be.

(And just a heads up, you don’t have to watch the Equestria Girls spin off series or movies in order to enjoy Friendship is Magic. EG isn’t technically canon, and the only noteworthy thing that makes it worthwhile is Sunset Shimmer. And while I personally don’t hate it, I completely understand how others will. But you do need to see My Little Pony: The Movie (2017), though. It surprisingly plays a big part in season 8 and beyond.)