#it has been fun to rant with the mutuals each week so i guess i’ll miss that<3< /div>
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lesbianpegbar · 2 years ago
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the true trigun stampede experience is my overwhelming apathy mild rage and the rare love of trigun that seeps through once every six episodes having a never ending cage match in my brain
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rainbowskittle · 1 year ago
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I’m thankful for all my friends I met on here. I feel closer to you than anyone else in ‘real world’ aka offline. Plus making offline friends sucks so much harder to make friends … if you have tips please help… need advice…haha.
@fuckinnproblems I know you don’t use this anymore … but I’ll still tag. We been mutuals from day one I feel like. Maybe was first week of tumblr but still thankful for you. From the moment I got Tumblr so 9 ish years?? We ‘met’ according to tumblr. So thank you for everything you do, advice you give, and even listening to my rambles even when I was sick. Sooo yeah thankful for you Syd!
@coldbrewqueer So many letters I can put into words to describe you. You’ve helped me in so many ways it’s silly. I’m thankful for all your advice and your photography is goals too. You truly incredible human! Definitely love your aesthetic haha. I wanna be you when I grow up.
@ad-meliora-0 Ayeee my memory is like Dory and you shark knowledge you probably know a shark with bad memory… that be me. But I’m thankful we stumbled upon each other. You are amazing person too. I love when you share music too since it’s always fun to find new music since looks like we have similar taste. Or it slowly turns to same cuz I burrow your music you share haha. I’m thankful for your music and you as a person too.
@aribeexx You so cool! I love seeing when you share your singing or stage performance! I could never but definitely cheering on from the sidelines / through screen. You need to go to AGT or a show like that you have talent! I know we don’t talk talk much but I’m thankful for you too.
@acetrainerjen I know I’m worst with never answers or slow answers sorry! But I promise I’m so thankful when we talk or even rp. Haha. I may not be good writer but rp fandoms with you has helped me. I still not the best but it’s eh. So thankful to write and just talk fandoms with you.
@girlswithguns22magnum YOU ARE MY ONLY BESTIE IN REAL LIFE AND SORRY BUDDIE YOU ARNET GETTING RID OF ME EVERRRR !! Ah we been through so much !! Won’t share cuz that’s just us together. But dude !! Bro!! Thank youu ! You will always be my favorite Taurus!!
@making-the-most-0f-it Sharing Scotland and Eddie Munson (and Steddie) with you been so fun! I know we haven’t talked much but this year? Ish right? But just know I’m here for you ever need to rant. I’m thankful for you listening to me rant haha.
@re-bec-ca-ann I know we’ve only talked recently?? But wow. Tumblr is good about that you may be across the planet for example and yet we have same fandoms. That’s what I love about this app / social media. You can share fandoms and find others in those fandoms. Cuz real world makes it hard / impossible. So thankful we have similar fandoms to talk about. And even finding new fandoms to join when we talk about are favorites we didn’t know about.
And EVERYONE else sorry if I missed you to give you shout out ! I’m not joking my brain is foggy. Even if I read just the other day 12% sleep in black and white AND remember their dreams .. I can only dream in b&w BUT not remember them. Endless I’m already slowly waking up.. but yeah maybe one day if I ever can afford it maybe I’ll go to therapy about it but pfft nah. Need money on food. and trips instead. But yeah if you didn’t get a shout out and we are mutuals talk to me! You can literally send a gif or talk about a fandom you see we have in common. I will respond. Might be slow or take a second but I won’t ghost you I promise!
But I want ALL of YOU to know YOU are loved, valued, important, suppose to be here, and incredibly wonderful person.
Soooo yeah that’s all I guess haha sorry for rambles again. Uhhh have a great rest of year !!
But hey if you don’t celebrate too I hope you have a good day too. Or your day was good at least. I know life can be hard but just know better days will happen.. it may not happen right away but it’ll come..
Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!!
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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years ago
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Imagine the Ember Island Players creating a romance between you and Zuko which hits a little too close to home
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You sat beside Katara and noticed how Zuko sat on the other side of her. Aang faltered, obviously wanting to sit there and you smirked as Zuko obliviously missed Aang’s look. Zuko had been with the group a few weeks now but his social skills still weren’t very good and you found it made for some very interesting interactions. His attempt at telling jokes alone made you smile every time you saw him for a full week afterwards and you found Zuko did a lot of things that amused you but apparently not so much the others. “I was going to sit there” Aang whined and Zuko shrugged “so? Just sit next to me”. Aang pouted and you laughed to yourself “here” you said standing up “take my seat Aang” and you moved so he could sit beside Katara. Katara was oblivious and you sat on the other side of Zuko chuckling at Aang’s blush. “What was that all about?” Zuko asked and you smiled “ow nothing you just almost ruined Aang’s evening”. Zuko frowned and went to ask what you meant when the lights dimmed so you knocked his arm shaking your head “i’ll tell you later now shhh”. Zuko folded his arm huffily but stopped talking. The play was wonderfully awful. As you hadn’t joined the gang straight away you knew you had time to just enjoy the first few acts and make fun of the way they portrayed all your friends. Plus what could they do to your character? You didn’t have any old flames like Katara or Sokka and you didn’t have an emotional backstory like Zuko or Aang. So you relaxed arms spread over the back of the bench and waited for *yourself* to make an appearance.
The second your actress walked on stage you knew it wouldn’t be good. They had your character all wrong! Your actress flirted with everyone and acted like a lovesick idiot. You didn’t think it could get much worse and then your character met Zuko’s.
“I’ll save you from the pirates” Zuko’s character purred to yours and you spluttered. “That...that wasn’t even me! That was Katara!” you whispered angrily. You looked to Zuko for confirmation who nodded “yeah I didn’t say that to you...and I certainly didn’t tie you up while staring at you like that”. “And I did not flirt with you like that either”. You both glared as your characters bonded and they actually invented Zuko letting you go voluntarily. As Zuko’s character stared off into the distance and said your name you heard Sokka and Suki wheezing from laughter while you simmered with anger and embarrassment. “I didn’t do that!” Zuko cried and you saw he was blushing vividly. That made you blush too and crossed your arms tightly “they better not stick with this theme”.
Of course they did. By the time act 3 had ended you and Zuko were living a star crossed lovers lifestyle in Ba Sing Sei. They again got you mixed up with Katara and said Azula kidnapped you to lure Zuko to the Earth King’s palace. The act ended with Zuko charging in to save you, offering his own life in exchange for yours, but Azula outmanoeuvred him and arrested him too. As the lights went up for intermission you and Zuko paused before exploding.
“That never even happened!”.
“I knew he was in Ba Sing Sei but we never went on a date”.
“Yeah that was a different girl”.
“And you did not fight with Jet over me”.
“I didn’t even know you knew Jet!” Zuko agreed and you both paused for air.
The gang all looked at each other before bursting into laughter. “What is so funny?” you cried and Sokka smiled. “We all know none of that stuff happened, we were there too remember?”. “Yeah so...can’t we rant?” you asked. “Well yeah but why get so mad about it? Are you trying to convince us or yourselves that the idea the two you flirted is so impossible?”. You and Zuko exploded again at the thought and Sokka and the others burst into laughter again. “All i’m saying is this is a lot of emotion to come from nowhere” Sokka smiled “now i’m going backstage so yell at each other or something” and he disappeared with Suki. Katara and Toph left for snacks and Aang went to the toilet leaving the two of you alone. “But i mean it is ridiculous” you muttered and Zuko nodded “utterly ridiculous”. “Sure we ended up together a few times” you shrugged “but that was completely by chance, it wasn’t like you were hyper-aware of me or vice versa”. “Yeah not at all” Zuko agreed but he wasn’t looking you in the eye for some reason. You stared at him confused and noticed his neck looked slightly red as if he was blushing. “Wait did you?” you asked suddenly “notice me more?”. Zuko looked up and he was indeed blushing deeply “what I....of course not! I never...I mean I did learn your name before anyone else’s but that’s because we spent that time together when I helped the pirates kidnap you and you wouldn’t shut up the whole night”. “Then why are you blushing so much?” you asked and Zuko shrugged “I don’t know I...it’s just them insinuating I like you. I’ve had it a lot”. “You have?” you asked amazed and Zuko nodded “when my uncle heard you’d seen me in Ba Sing Sei and that we’d reached a deal not to tell on one another he had this annoying smirk like i’d done it for any other reason besides the fact it was mutually beneficial. Then when I went back home Azula made it seem like me and you had a thing and Mai got jealous and started asking about you and I had to explain all our interactions and it was very awkward...she wanted me to reassure her by putting you down and making the idea seem impossible but I must have failed because she didn’t believe me. So I guess that’s why it makes me feel weird, everyone keeps telling me I act differently with you and I suppose I do but I have no idea if that’s because everyone keeps saying it or if I always have”. You nodded your head but were unsure what to say. “Well which one do you think it is?” you asked eventually and Zuko paused “what?”. “If you had to guess, would you say you act differently around me because of what people say about us or have you just always acted that way”. Zuko thought, staring at the ground and basically anywhere but at you, “i’m not sure but I guess maybe the second? They must have got it from somewhere I suppose”. “The second?” you asked surprised and Zuko’s blush returned vividly “I’m only guessing, I honestly don’t know”. You nodded your head and went to speak when the others returned which stopped you right in your tracks.  
The second half of the play began of course with you and Zuko reuniting in the prison under Ba Sing Sei. You and Zuko did end up there together but you definitely did less staring at one another. You rolled your eyes as your characters began to passionately speak to one another stepping closer and closer. They finally reached one another and you laughed when your character began yelling at Zuko’s. “Ha maybe they got some things right!” you whispered to Zuko who nodded “you did yell at me a lot”. You smirked and went to apologise when Zuko’s character kissed yours. You and Zuko abruptly shot away from each other. “That is not even close to what happened!” you cried at the others who were all laughing. Zuko nodded “this is just slander! They didn’t even bother to try to get our characters right and anyone with half a brain would realise that!”. Someone shushed Zuko and he glared “shush yourself” he cried before storming from the room. He didn’t return for the rest of the play and honestly you thought that was probably wise. It got worse and worse. They still kept in Zuko’s betrayal of Iroh but changed it making you at the centre of Zuko’s struggle. He chose the crown and they made you react dramatically (even getting a love ballad moment). They then skipped forwards to Zuko at the palace, who got his own song when he realised he’d made the wrong choice. Your characters reunited not long after and promptly confessed their love for one another. Then you were both murdered by Ozai very much in line with the tragic forbidden lovers style.
“I mean I’m just glad she’s dead” you shrugged on your way out “anything to end that romance”. The others smirked when Aang paused “do you think Zuko went back home to the villa?” looking around for the angry fire prince. “No he knows we don’t know this place well, he’s probably just sat outside somewhere” you replied looking around but you couldn’t see him brooding anywhere either. When you walked out the front door and still didn’t spot him Aang frowned “okay everyone split up and look for him, meet back here in five minutes”.
You returned five minutes later to see Katara, Suki, Sokka and Toph all hadn’t found him either. “I wonder where he is” Katara frowned and you shrugged “he’ll be fine, that boy has nine lives”. “He didn’t in that play” Toph commented and you nodded. “True but that play was a mess and there’s one thing I still can’t get over. Zuko said his family and friends thought he liked me that’s where his side of this rumour started but in the play they acted like I encouraged him! Where on earth did they get that idea?”. The group all went quiet and you paused “what?”. “Well...I mean you kinda do encourage him” Sokka frowned and your jaw dropped “I DO NOT! When have I ever...”. “When we got kidnapped by the pirates you teased Zuko constantly and refused to be quiet until he spoke to you” Katara pointed out. “Yes but that was to annoy him not flirt with him!”. “Okay how about when June asked if you were his girlfriend and you replied he wishes instead of no?”. “I was joking” you shrugged and Toph smirked “or how about when I was sneaking out to see Zuko at the Western Air Temple and found you already on your way to see him? What were you popping in to see Zuko for huh y/n? Nice date by the campfire?”. “I was doing the same thing as you! I was going to see if he would tell the truth and given that I knew him best I thought I....”. The gang all erupted and you paused “what?”. “You know him best?” Sokka asked smirking and you nodded “that doesn’t mean anything it’s a fact”. “Ow is it?” Sokka asked and you nodded “It is! Fine if I don’t know him best what was his fake name in Ba Sing Sei?”. Everyone went quiet and you nodded “or how about how long ago he was banished from the fire nation? Better yet just tell me his parent’s names!” you cried. When nobody replied you smirked folding your arms victoriously “told you I know him best”. “Yeah you’ve definitely proved how much you know about Zuko” Suki smirked looking past you. You frowned before you heard someone behind you. You turned to see Aang had found Zuko and by the look on his face he’d heard everything. You blushed and looked down “Zuko we were...”. “Having a competition to see who knows me best?” Zuko asked mildly amused and you paused “well sort of...Sokka started it”. “No I didn’t” Sokka retorted “you declared you knew Zuko the best and when I asked if you were sure you started spouting your favourite facts about him”. “They’re not my favourite facts about him” you snapped and Sokka’s smirk just grew “whatever y/n” and he turned leading the way home. The others all followed and purposefully made it so you and Zuko were at the back. “Why were you talking about me anyway?” Zuko asked and you paused “ow nothing I was just er...trying to work out why the Ember Island Players thought I had a thing for you but the gang was not helpful”. “They couldn’t think of a reason?” Zuko asked innocently and you frowned “no they could actually think of lots of reasons, it appears similar to your family they were also under the impression I held a flame for you as it were”. “Ow really?” Zuko asked. He kept his voice flat but you could swear he was smirking slightly. “Stop enjoying this” you whined pushing him “it’s not funny, it’s embarrassing”. “Liking me is embarrassing?” Zuko asked and you paused “no I didn’t mean that, I just meant having all your friends claim you like someone when you can’t see it”. “You really can’t see where they’re coming from?” Zuko asked and you shook your head “nope not at all”. Zuko looked away and you frowned “I saw that, what did that look mean?”. “Nothing...” Zuko trailed off but you sighed grabbing him by the arm to make him look at you “I’m sick of everyone saying things about me for once just say it to my face!”. Zuko sighed “fine, I just think i’ve been honest with you but you’re not being honest with yourself”. “Not being honest?”. Zuko nodded “Yes, I admitted I could see where my family were coming from and how the rumours started but you’re acting as if they plucked them out of thin air!”. “Well maybe they did! I don’t see how any of our interactions could be interpreted as romantic”. Zuko didn’t look convinced. “You don’t think there’s some truth to what the Ember Island Players said? That maybe there is something here?” Zuko asked gesturing to the small gap between you. “No of course not! Do you?”. “No” Zuko yelled back and you nodded “fine! You are the most infuriating...” you started when Zuko grabbed you kissing you. You initially tensed at the sensation but soon melted into it. Zuko seemed to be trying to prove a point by kissing you passionately and not wanting him to win you kissed him back matching his intensity. Finally Zuko pulled away for air and stared at you “still not want to admit there’s something here?”. You stared at Zuko torn between admitting he was right and your pride. You were annoyed, frustrated, excited and exhilarated all at once. You were breathing rapidly, your cheeks bright red as were Zuko’s and neither of you made to move away. “I...” you started eventually “that was a good kiss”. Zuko nodded, his frustration melting away “it was, I enjoyed it...I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to kiss you for a while now”. “You have?” you asked and Zuko nodded “as annoying as it is to admit my family and friends were right, I like you and I have for a while”. You smiled despite yourself at how adorable Zuko looked all bashful and embarrassed. “I tried ignoring it for a while but then when I joined the group your friends all saw it straight away. Then tonight...the play was bad but I was frustrated that everyone seemed to see it apart from you the person I actually wanted to see it...you”. You looked down wondering how to reply “I’m sorry I bet that was really frustrating”. Zuko nodded “It was and I figured this was just one-sided but that...did you feel it too?”. Zuko looked so unsure and unlike himself it was endearing and gave you confidence. “Yes” you said shakily “after that kiss I can tell you it is definitely not one-sided. I like you too Zuko and probably have since the start”. “Probably?” Zuko asked and you sighed “I’m not good with my emotions, I can be oblivious to them so I can’t with certainty tell you it’s been going on as long as the play made it out to be but I know I like you. Right now in this moment...I hope that’s enough, I know it’s a shit confession and you probably wanted something more solid but I...”. Zuko began laughing and you paused “what’s so funny?”. “Something more solid? Y/n I’m on the run from the Firelord who is my father, my sister is hunting me to kill me and I could very likely be imprisoned for the rest of my life if Aang fails and that’s if i’m lucky...I’m not even sure if I have a future so trust me all I need is the present. To know in this moment right here you like me back” Zuko blushed but he stepped closer and took your hands “that’s more than enough for me”. “It is?” you asked and Zuko nodded “yes and if by some chance it becomes more long-term I’ll be very happy but for now I just want to enjoy this time with you”. You smiled and leant in to kiss Zuko again when someone coughed. “Hey what are you two doing?” Sokka called. Apparently the others had finally realised the two of you were no longer with the group and walked back to find the two of you as you currently were. Luckily it was dark so you moved away from Zuko but still held his hand. “Yeah we thought you’d gotten lost are you okay?” Katara called. Zuko sighed and you smirked at his expression. “We’re fine” you smiled “we were just talking and Zuko’s going to show me this beach he went to a lot as a kid”. Zuko’s eyes shot up to yours and he smiled. “You are?” Aang asked and Zuko nodded “yep, it’s not far from here so we won’t be long. You guys head back to the villa and we’ll meet you there” and with that Zuko tugged you away from the others. You smiled at Zuko and he smiled back at you “quick thinking, I didn’t think we’d get out of there so easily”. “You can thank me later” you replied when you heard Sokka gasp “wait are they holding hands? Y/n are you holding hands?”. “Run!” Zuko cried and you laughed but did as he said. You kept running even after Sokka’s voice trailed off and only stopped when you reached a sandy beach. You both collapsed on the ground and you turned to look at Zuko “did you know this was here or did you get lucky?”. “Totally the former” he smiled and you shook your head “you’re lucky I like you”. “I really am” Zuko agreed and he stared at your face tenderly. His fingers brushed your cheek and you smiled “what are you waiting for?”. “I have no idea” Zuko admitted and he leant in to reclaim the lost kiss from earlier. This time you weren’t interrupted.
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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years ago
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i don't know if you're still taking prompts (so please ignore this if you aren't) but i cant stop thinking about your recent buckytony fic (and how much i love breaking up and making up as a trope) - so i was wondering if you'd be up for doing smth else w that trope for buckytony?? maybe they re-unite at a mutual friend's wedding?? and it brings up emotions about their almost wedding?? idk i just really love breaking up and making up as a trope and i really love your writing :))
thank you!! I'm very much up for doing another buckytony break up/make up, plus you deserve nice things for finishing law school - congrats on that!🎉🎉hope you like this one 😊
There's a ring on Bucky's finger.
It's the first thing Tony notices when he walks into the bar for Natasha and Sharon's joint bachelorette party. He stands there in the doorway, frozen and staring until someone clears their throat pointedly behind him, and he mumbles an apology as he moves out of the way.
He thinks about turning around and not coming back, just ditching the event entirely and maybe even the wedding tomorrow, but he tosses the ridiculous thought the second it comes. He promised Sharon when she asked him to be her man of honor that he could handle Bucky being Nat's. Living on the other side of the country afforded him to miss the rest of the events and planning along the way, and he could deal with one day of being cordial to his ex, even if the day comes with walking down an aisle together.
But now there's a ring on Bucky's finger.
The silver catches the light, and it's on prominent display with his left hand wrapped around a beer bottle. It shouldn't be possible for him to have moved on that quickly. Eight months shouldn't be long enough to bury three years of memories. Three years of hopes and dreams and plans for a future built together. Years of love so blindingly intense that it burrowed into Tony's soul to make a home and refused to be evicted just because it was supposed to be over.
Tony wonders what the timeline is. Did he find someone new while Tony was still just beginning to pick up his own scattered pieces? A first date for him while Tony was barely getting out of bed. When was it that he replaced Tony as the last person to have his heart? And how did he find forever in someone else so soon after losing the one he used to call his soulmate?
Natasha notices him first, still hovering near the entrance, and she raises a single eyebrow that calls him a coward. He rolls his eyes at the accusation, though it's accurate. She elbows Sharon to catch her attention, and before he knows it the entire small group is turning their heads his way, giving him no choice but to join them.
It's less bachelorette party and more pre-wedding celebration with the crowd they've gathered, all mutual friends of both brides with no regards for gender traditions that usually come with this night. Tony used to fit in well with them all, back when gatherings like this were just a typical Friday night. But he made himself an outsider between the move to California and the breakup with Bucky. All he has now with most of them is a dead group chat that hasn't been used in months. He wonders which one of them made the new one without him in it.
Sharon is the first to pull him into a hug, then Natasha follows suit. He gets a nod from Sam, a wave from Clint, and what might pass as a smile from Steve. Bucky stares so intensely that Tony can feel his eyes with his back turned, but when Tony looks his way, he pretends to be interested in the floor.
He had a plan before the ring threw him off. Step one should have been the entrance. Head held high, shoulders square, perfect outfit that shows everything off and compliments the Malibu tan he has now. Step two should be nonchalance. A light hearted greeting to everyone, accompanied by an easy grin and relaxed body language, and catching up with subtle brags slipped in. Show them all that he's doing better than he ever was, sitting on top of the world these days, even if most of the time it feels like he's barely above rock bottom.
Step three in his ideal scenario involved Bucky breaking down and begging to get him back. Some versions even had him on his knees for it, with tears running down his face. Others required it to be raining outside, and the cloudless sky ruined that before the ring on Bucky's finger did.
With steps one and three out the window, he tries to salvage step two.
“Hey,” Tony starts, a little too loud. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries again, “Hey, Bucky. It's good to see you.”
Bucky nods, a strained, jerky motion. “Yeah, you too. How, uh, how have you been?”
“Good. Really good, actually. Company just had its highest sales quarter yet, so it’s been a little crazy around there, but good.”
“Good,” Bucky repeats, and there’s a long awkward pause.
“And what about you?” Tony asks, and then because he can’t help himself, he adds, “I see you got engaged. Or, hell, I guess it could be married, even.”
Bucky freezes with parted lips and wide eyes for the briefest of moments, like he wasn’t expecting Tony to know about it or bring it up, and his eyes shift to the ring on his hand and stay there.
“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Engaged. Last week.”
Tony ignores the ache in his chest and plasters on a smile like he’s happy for him. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t know him. Steve introduced us. They work together.”
“So he’s at the museum then? I thought you used to say that you hated all those stuffy guys and Steve was the only one worth knowing.”
Bucky smiles, a fond thing that widens the crack in Tony’s heart. “Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Felix is a great guy.”
Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. Stupid name that probably matches a stupid, punchable face.
Some masochist thing pulls at him to make him keep digging for more information, a twisted need to know even as each word pushes the knife in deeper. He aims for casual, leaning back against one of the high top tables as he asks, “So how long have you been together?”
“Just a couple of months. Kind of fast, I know, but when you’re sure about something, it doesn’t really matter, right? Why waste time waiting?”
“Right, of course,” Tony says, a little flatter than he intends. “So why isn’t he here tonight? Hope it wasn’t to spare my feelings, because it’s really not necessary.”
Bucky falters, “It’s not? You, uh, you’re dating someone, then?”
Tony nods, and he wishes he had grabbed a drink before this so he could hide behind it as he lies through his teeth. “Only a few weeks, though. A little too early to be a wedding date, but I’m sure your guy will be there tomorrow right?”
“Oh, um, yeah, definitely. Why wouldn’t he be, right? There’s no reason I can think of,” Bucky says, stumbling around it. “But tell me more about your thing. Your person. How’s that going?”
Tony shrugs, and he finally pulls off that easy smile he’s been trying for. “Well, it’s not get engaged in a couple of months good, but it’s been really great. We’re taking it slow. Trying not to rush anything and just get to know each other first. I think it could really be something, though.”
“That’s good,” Bucky mumbles. “You deserve something good.”
He isn’t meeting Tony’s eyes anymore, almost like he’s upset that Tony moved on, and the vindictive part of Tony wants to be happy about it, but another part wants to be angry because it isn’t fair. It’s not fair to act like Tony should stay stuck in time, forever longing for him when he already moved on with someone else first. It’s hypocritical and selfish, even if Tony is lying about there being anyone else.
“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tony says, pushing down every feeling. “Should catch up with everyone else, too, while I’m at it. I’ll talk to you later.”
He heads over to the bar and isn’t surprised when Sharon joins him a moment later, right after he orders a double shot of whiskey. She puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony laughs, running a hand through his hair. “My ex is engaged to somebody else and apparently doing really fucking well. Meanwhile, I’m making up fake boyfriends that I’m taking it slow with, because last week I went on my first real date in eight months and cried in the bathroom in the middle of it. And then, at the end of the night, he literally told me to my face that he didn’t think a second date was a good idea. We weren’t even talking about it, Sharon. He said it unprompted when we were still ten minutes from his apartment, and I was driving.”
Sharon nods slowly as she processes the rant. “He told you he got engaged?”
“Yeah, thanks for not telling me, by the way. It was really fun to get blindsided by it.”
She ignores the complaint to ask, “What else did he tell you, exactly?”
“Oh, just the whole line about how you know when you know, and Felix is such a great guy, and all that bullshit.”
“Felix,” Sharon repeats.
Tony knocks back the rest of his drink and orders another. “Please tell me he’s not better looking than me. Tell me it’s a downgrade. Don’t lie, because I know I have to meet him tomorrow, but please give me something that will make this better.”
“Well, I can guarantee he’s not as attractive as you. But he’s a little too perfect, you know? Like how could this guy possibly be real, he’s so unbelievably perfect,” Sharon says.
“I told you to make me feel better, not worse.”
Sharon shakes her head with a smile, the arm around him tightening into an approximation of hug. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they’re going to last. He’s kind of flaky, too. Always cancelling at the last minute and all that. Bet he won’t even show tomorrow.”
The amusement on her face that she’s failing to hide confuses him. He’s starting to feel bad, though, for making the night about him when it should be about her and Nat.
Resolving not to dwell on it anymore, he squeezes the hand on his shoulder and says, “Alright, enough sad drinking, and definitely enough about me. We’re celebrating you and Nat and a lifetime of sickeningly wonderful happiness for both of you.”
Sharon grins, “Hell yeah, we are.”
“Shots?”
“Is that even a question?”
_____________
He wakes up with a headache and hazy memories. Shots of tequila that turned into shots of vodka when Nat got involved, then Clint’s terrible suggestion to try a shot of every liquor they had to offer. He vaguely remembers the round of toasts and drunken impromptu speeches from everyone, locking eyes with Bucky and failing to look away on both their parts. There’s a blur of wandering hands and heated, messy kisses. A bathroom stall turned into a cab ride which turned into his hotel room. He knows what he’ll find next to him when he opens his eyes, and guilt comes in full force.
“I know you’re awake,” Bucky says, voice still rough with sleep. It used to be Tony’s favorite sound in the world. “And I know we’re both sorry about what happened, but pretending to be asleep isn’t fixing nothin’.”
Tony shifts over to his back, and if there was any question before about what happened between them, the all too familiar ache in his body would answer it. He stares up at the ceiling to avoid the acres of bare skin on display next to him.
“You should probably leave,” Tony says to the walls. “I’m sure your fiancé is wondering where you are.”
“I doubt it.”
Tony puts an arm over his eyes, partly to block out the light that makes them ache and partly to hide his face. “Just go, okay? It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, and we don’t have to talk about it.”
“Was it a mistake?” Bucky asks. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”
He doesn’t answer, and it’s soft and broken when Bucky says his name. Too much for him to handle.
Tony pushes back the blankets and searches for Bucky’s clothes in the mess they’ve made. He finds the shirt first and throws it at him. “You’re engaged, which means it was a mistake.”
His boxers are on the back of the couch, jeans right in front of the door, and they join the pile on Bucky’s lap. “You promised the rest of your life to somebody else, and I’m pretty sure fidelity is supposed to go with that.”
He tosses a shoe in the general direction of the bed, and it hits the nightstand with a loud thud. The second shoe is still in his hand when Bucky gets up and walks over to him, taking it and letting it drop to the floor.
His eyes hold a level of intensity that Tony has spent months dreaming about, and Tony couldn’t look away or move from this spot even if he tried.
“Felix isn’t real,” Bucky says. “I made him up when you asked, because I didn’t want to tell you the truth that I haven’t moved on in the slightest. That I’m so pathetic that I’ve spent the last eight months wearing an engagement ring that I bought for a guy who doesn’t love me anymore because I don’t know how to let him go.”
Tony stops breathing. “What?”
Bucky slides the ring from his finger, holding it between them so Tony can see the inscription. Always yours. He can’t remember the last time he heard the words get spoken.
“When?” Tony asks hoarsely. “When did you get that and why didn’t you ever ask me?”
“About a year ago,” Bucky says, slipping it back on his own finger. He sits back on the edge of the bed and stares down at it, twisting it around. “I thought about doing it on your birthday, but Nat and Sharon had just gotten engaged the week before and I didn’t want to take anything away from them. You were working a lot of late nights after that, and I thought it would be better to wait until things slowed down. You were so tired all the time, and you deserved a better proposal than when you’re falling asleep in the middle of dinner. It never slowed down, though. And then you got that big promotion and somehow we fell apart instead. If I’m honest, I still don’t really know how. One minute I’m getting ready to come with you, and the next you’re telling me not to bother.”
Tony sits down next to him, shoulders touching, and he pulls Bucky’s left hand into his. “You didn’t really want to go.”
“That’s not true,” Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head.
“All you talked about was how much you would miss New York. How much you’d miss your friends and your family and your job. Every day, everywhere we went. Even the fucking hot dog stands got sonnets about them. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out that you weren’t exactly looking forward to leaving.”
“I still would have gone for you,” Bucky argues. “I told you I would go anywhere with you, if it was what you wanted.”
“And then what? You move with me, and you’re miserable all the time, because my job never slows down so I’m still not around as much as you want, except now it’s compounded because you’re in a city that you hate with no one else that you know. You resent me for making you go, and the outcome is the same in the end either way.”
“Or I move with you, and I finally ask you to marry me like I’ve wanted to since almost the day we met. I find new friends and a new job, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s still worth it because at the end of the day I have a husband coming home to me.”
Tony runs his thumb over the ring and murmurs, “I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t think I could do that for you anymore.”
Bucky cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but baby, you’re an idiot.”
“Oh, thanks,” Tony laughs.
“You’re my idiot, if that helps.”
Tony smiles, still fragile but growing more hopeful. “Am I?”
“Always have been,” Bucky says. “Always will be if you stop assuming I’m going to leave you all the time. Let me decide for myself what I’m willing to sacrifice for us.”
Tony nods slowly, then says, “I’m sorry for ending it like that.”
“I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to.”
Tony climbs into his lap, circling his arms around his neck, and Bucky pulls him in closer with his hands on Tony’s hips. The ring is strange to feel against his skin, but also completely right. He wants it to stay there and to mean what it was always supposed to. Wants one of his own to match.
“We can fix it, right? We can be us again?”
“I don’t know,” Bucky says, and Tony’s heart sinks for just a moment. “Is your boyfriend as real as my fiancé?”
Tony laughs again in relief, “Yeah, they’d be a good pair.”
“I knew you had to be lying. You’ve never taken it slow in your life,” Bucky grins.
“Do you want me to start now?”
Bucky flips them over in one fluid motion, and he kisses up his throat as he murmurs, “Absolutely not.”
152 notes · View notes
evolmaze · 4 years ago
Text
not like this
summary - you go to a party ready to hang out with your friends, but your best friend has other ideas that involve you, a closet, seven minutes, and a close friend you swore you’d never tell
pairing - jin x reader ft. other members of bts and other o.c.s!
genre - fluff, angst | ftl!au, nonidol!au
word count - 5.0k words
warnings - mentions of drinking, otherwise nothing else!
a/n: this is totally inspired by that one episode of New Girl where Nick and Jess are stuck behind the door and Nick tells Jess that he doesn’t want kiss her, “not like this” hence the title lol. Not quite the same plotline, but was definitely my inspiration for it!
masterlist
You had always loved Saturday nights, the one day a week where you could literally do nothing all day and not feel guilty about it. The one night a week where you got to see most of your friends, hang out, and of course, get tipsy and play a bunch of stupid games; tonight was no different.
You had arrived at your friend Alexa’s house, a little late, and by the looks of it, you were the last to arrive. Your friend group wasn’t enormously big, just around six or so depending on the night, any more and things usually got out of hand. There was you, Alexa, your mutual friend Lia, and then the boys: Yoongi, Jin, and Namjoon. You all had become friends while in university, and you’re happy to say you were able to remain friends afterward. Sometimes the boys would bring their other friends, ones they had met through work, and tonight you were happy to see Jimin, Tae, Jungkook, and Hoseok here as well. You didn’t know them as well, but every time you hung with them, they had been nothing but kind. If you’re honest, the people you knew best here were Jin and Alexa, the three of you had lived in the same dorm freshman year, and since then, you had been inseparable.
“y/n!” Alexa called excitedly, crossing the room to greet you. “I was afraid you weren’t gonna make it!”
“Sorry,” you exclaimed, “Literally got halfway here and realized I had forgotten the chips!” she laughed, taking them from you, and setting them on the counter next to the taco dip; a classic staple in your university days. “I see everyone else is already here.” you mused, scanning the room.
“Yeah, don’t worry though, Jimin and Tae literally got here five minutes before you,” she laughed, and set a hand on your shoulder, slightly turning you towards the back of the room. “But he’s been here all night, asking me every couple minutes if I’ve heard from you,” she whispered, you were sure she was wiggling her eyebrows at you.
You looked across the room, and saw Jin, laughing with Hoseok and Jungkook. He hadn’t seen you yet, and selfishly you loved that you were able to stare at him carefree, taking in all the things you loved about him. You hadn’t seen him in a while, school kept you both busy, and with both of you working part time jobs, a couple weeks had gone by since your last hang out. God how you had missed him. 
“You’re staring..” Alexa chuckled, as your best friend, and friend who had also known Jin the longest, she knew all about your crush on him. She was actually the one who called you out on it first, and from then on, she loved to tease you about it, but in all honesty, if she didn’t know, and wasn’t there for you to give advice or listen to you rant, you’re sure you would have gone insane by now.
“Ahhh, yeah,” you laughed nervously, tearing your view from him, and facing her. “God, it’s getting worse isn’t it?”
“Noooo,” she said, obviously lying, but you appreciated the false confidence. “Okay, maybe, but you’re in love, how else are you supposed to cope with that?”
“Oooh, I’d say drinking my sorrows away so I don’t have to think about how he’ll never like me back.” you laughed, grabbing a drink from the cooler. Alexa looked at you, concerned. “Lex I’m fine, seriously. I’ve come to terms with it, and at this point, he’s just a placeholder till I find someone new.”
“I’ve always said this, and I stand by it: Jin is so fucking stupid. Thick as a brick.”
“Yah!” he suddenly called from across the room. “Alexa are you talking shit?” you laughed, trying to figure out how much he heard.
“Absolutely not,” she said, looking towards you. “But y/n totally was!”
“Lex!” you yelled, embarrassed. You looked up, making eye contact with Jin, and his face lit up. 
“y/n! Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” he said, coming over to you. Alexa winked and left to go talk to Lia. He came up to you, immediately crushing you in a hug. Your face was right up against his chest, you could smell his cologne, and god was it intoxicating. 
“Sorry, I literally just got here!” you said, pulling your head back to look at him, he smiled down at you, his arms around your waist. You could stay like this forever.
“Hmmm, I suppose I can forgive you then.” he joked, slowly letting go of you, his fingers lingering a little too long. You tried your best to remain calm, and not think about the way it felt to be held by him. He cleared his throat, taking a slight step back, you looked at him expectantly. “Whatcha drinking?” he asked, and you held up your drink you had grabbed earlier. “Oh,” he laughed, ears turning red in embarrassment, and you grinned, god you loved this man.
----
The night had progressed rather smoothly, you were impressed. Usually, nights like this took a turn for the worst during a game of Pictionary, but so far, things had been fine! Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and you couldn’t have been happier. Currently, you all sat in a circle playing a childish game of never have I ever. You knew these were childish, but secretly you loved them, all the games you never got to play in high school cause you didn’t go to parties. Except instead of fingers down, everyone also took a shot. Currently, Jimin and Lia were tied for first place with each having nine out of ten fingers down. You only had four down, but it didn’t really matter.
“Never have I ever recreated the scene from titanic in front of the whole school only to realize Rose was played by my professor,” Tae snickered, looking directly at Jimin.
“Not fair,” he laughed, putting a finger down, and taking a shot. “That’s targeting!” everyone laughed, and Jimin grinned, taking a seat back down.
“Okay okay okay,” Alexa said suddenly, gathering everyone’s attention. “Let’s switch up the game, we’ve been playing this for an hour, and if Jimin has to take one more shot, I don’t want to be the one responsible for taking him to the hospital tonight.”
“I’m fine!” he laughed, and it was mildly true, everyone here seemed to have a pretty high tolerance, and being out of university, it seems the activities had mildly mellowed out. No excessive drinking tonight. 
“Okay, what game are you thinking of Lex?” Lia asked, and Alexa paused before getting a thoughtful look on her face. 
You watched as she looked towards you, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Since we’re on a roll with high school parties games, why not a fun couple rounds of seven minutes in heaven?” The group was split, some laughed in encouragement, while others, like yourself, seemed confused, you all were friends wouldn’t that be weird? “Okay wait, let me finish. We’ll switch up the rules so it’s not weird. The two people can go in there and decide what to do, kiss or take two shots each.”
You laughed, it seemed stupid still, but why the hell not? You were probably a little tipsy at this point, so why not indulge in this juvenile game. “How do we decide who goes in?” you asked.
“We’ll start with a random person to go in the closet, and then the group decides who goes in after them. But the catch is, the person alone in the closet has to face the wall so they cant see who comes in with them. So since they can’t see each other, in order to drink or kiss, they have to correctly guess who it is. Make sense?” Everyone nodded, and you eagerly awaited to see who was first.
“Who wants to go first?” Jimin asked, and the group went silent. “What about y/n?” you looked up, confused.
“Why me?” you questioned.
“Why not?” he questioned back, and you laughed. 
“Okay fine,” you agreed, looking down at everyone as you stood up. “Alright, whichever one of you comes in, be ready to take shots!” everyone laughed, and you grinned, making eye contact with Alexa, that same stupid glint in her eye.
“Don’t sound so sure,” she laughed, and you blushed, quickly turning towards the closet. You opened the door, and entered, shutting it behind you. You wondered who they would send it, though with Alexa's knowing look you had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. It was a mystery how much time had passed by the time you heard the door open behind you.
“Hello mystery stranger,” you called, waiting for the door to shut again before turning around. 
“You have seven minutes, y/n!” Alexa called, followed by a chorus of cheers. “Guess correctly and you can thank me later!”
You furrowed your eyebrows at that, that must have been a clue, right? “Hmm, how should I go about this, because I’m assuming you’re not allowed to speak, right? That’d make it too easy,” you pondered, and with no response from the person in front of you, you presumed you were right.
“Okay, I have an idea.” you declared, holding your hands out in front of you. “My hands are in front of you right now, grab one of them.” You waited patiently for them to do so, and soon enough you felt something hit the side of your hand. “That’s my hand, grab it.”
They grabbed your hand, and you immediately registered that they had large hands, long fingers, there was no way this was Lia or Lexa, they both had comically small hands. On second thought, so did Jimin, so that left the rest of the boys. “Here’s what I’m thinking, I’ll ask you a series of questions, and if the answer is yes then squeeze my hand once, if it’s no, then squeeze my hand twice. Make sense?”
One squeeze. “Okay, cool cool. Let’s see,” you pondered, trying to think of a question that would get the most people out at once. “Oh! Okay, do you have roommates?”
Two squeezes, “Okay, well that rules out Jungkook and Tae since they live together.  Do you have a pet?”
Two squeezes again, “Well alright, then you’re not Namjoon or Yoongi either. So you’re either Hoseok or Jin.” you stalled for a second, wondering what the odds were that this was Jin in front of you. Alexa wouldn’t do that to you would she? Who are you kidding, she’s tipsy, of course, she would. Your heartbeat increased mildly at the possibility that this was Jin and the possibility that you two would kiss, but you knew deep down that if it was him, you’d rather just take shots because kissing him in this closet was not at all how you wanted to do it.
“Final question,” you said aloud, figuring out what you would ask. “Do you feel strongly about the financial crisis in Ecuador?” A laugh from the person in front of you confirmed your suspicions, it was Jin. Whenever the two of you were together and ran out of things to talk about, he would always ask you the most random of questions, that one is one of his favorites. 
“I feel very strongly about it, almost as strongly as I feel about the American peanut butter famine of 1834,” he joked, and you laughed, it was such a dumb joke, but it got you every single time. It absolutely had nothing to do with him, and you thinking he was the funniest person alive, not at all.
The two of you quieted down, and you heard Jimin call for four minutes left. Suddenly, you remembered why you were here, and what you had to decide. “So,” you said, trying to decide how you were gonna get out of this. “How’s it going?”
“Oh you know, just grand,” he said, and you heard him shifting his weight from one foot to another. It was then that you also realized he was still holding your hand, cute. “You have a decision to make, don’t you?” he asked, and you blushed, thank god for the darkness of this closet.
“I think it’s a group consensus, no?” you asked.
Jin chuckled, and you felt his thumb run over your knuckles, your mind raced at the feeling. “I mean sure, but I’m cool with either.” You were pretty sure that you died of cardiac failure after he said that, there was no way he had just said that.  “Plus the idea of taking two shots right now makes me wanna die,”
“Hmm, you did kinda suck at taking shots,” you joked, trying to ease your nerves, and he playfully swatted your shoulder. Your hand hung loosely at your side, and you took the moment to wipe the sweat off on your jeans. “So you’re cool with either? You’re sure?” you asked, your voice slightly panicky.
You sensed his arm moved as it wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You held your breath, what the fuck was going on. “I’m sure, are you?”
You felt your head get fuzzy and you weren’t sure if it was from the alcohol or the way you could feel each of his fingers as they rested on the small of your back, but you definitely weren’t sober anymore. “I don’t want to kiss you in the closet,” you said quickly, your hand instinctively balling into a fist. “Not like this.”
“What do you mean?” he asked quietly, a touch of hurt in his voice, your heart ached at the sound. “Would you rather take the shots?”
“No, no, no,” you said frantically, releasing his hand and taking a step back. Even though you knew this was low risk, you’d have to absolutely be blind to not understand the elephant in this closet with you two, you still felt terrified of rejection. “I-I can’t see you, I want to be able to see you.”
At that moment, the door flung open, the light from the outside streaming in, and all you saw was Jin’s face as he looked at you as if he had never seen you before. You wanted to cry, but instead, you pushed past him, and grabbed a bottle of peppermint schnapps off the counter, quickly downing two shots, before going out onto the porch. You absolutely needed some air. 
The commotion from inside followed you faintly as you shut the door, everyone was confused, but drunk enough to move on rather quickly, sending Jungkook into the closet, before sending someone else in after him. You paid them no mind, too busy feeling sorry for yourself that even when the moment was perfect, you still found a way to ruin it for yourself. He had literally told you he wanted to kiss you, and you had ruined it with your stupid insecurities, go figure.
The sliding door opened and you looked up as he stepped out onto the porch, blanket in one hand, and two water bottles in the other. “Mind if I join you?” you said nothing, but nodded in response, and he offered you water, and you took it before he sat next to you. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he wrapped the blanket around him, and it was in that moment that you remembered it was November. Unconsciously, you pulled your knees up, wrapping your arms around them, wishing you had grabbed your jacket. “Here,” he said suddenly, opening up one side of his blanket cocoon. “We can share.”
You peered at him hesitantly, before opting in because even your pride was willing to leave for warmth. He wrapped the blanket around you both, and you moved closer to him in an attempt to get the blanket around the both of you completely. Aside from your shoes peeking out, the both of you were completely submerged, he must have found the biggest blanket in the apartment. You peered up at him and watched as he stared at the street before you, not thinking twice of it, you rested your head on his shoulder. “Jin, I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, looking down at you. “You were uncomfortable, I should have been more aware.”
“I wasn’t that uncomfortable,” you muttered, and he chuckled.
“y/n you were actually shaking at one point,” you laughed at that, he was right.
“Okay, fine, but I was only uncomfortable with the circumstances, not the idea behind them,” you paled when you realized what you said, but when Jin wrapped his arm around you, pulling you even closer to him, you relaxed a little. 
“Oh so what you’re saying is that I didn’t need to take two shots?”
“Hmmm, maybe not,” you mused, and he laughed. “And neither did I.”
“So why did you?” he asked, the smile dropping from your face as you thought about how you were gonna explain this.
“Jin, I-” you said, your heart rate picking up with each passing moment; it was now or never. “I really like you, I have feelings for you so strong I feel like going crazy sometimes. I’m sure you already knew because Alexa has a big mouth, and I’m the least subtle person on the planet, but that’s why I took the shots.”
“You took the shots instead of kissing me because you like me?”
“Ah no,” you grumbled, getting stressed that he wasn’t getting it. “I took the shots because I didn’t want my first kiss to be in the dark, especially with you.”
“Ahhh, I see what you mean,” he said, a faint smile on his face. He looked down at you, and you felt all the air leave your body as you registered the look in his eyes. It was the exact same as yours had been earlier when you saw him. He had never looked at you like that, at least to your memory. He had, you had just never noticed. 
“I just, I just want to be able to see you,” you said quietly, unable to move, stuck in the way he looked at you. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I don’t want to mess up.”
Jin grinned, “You can’t mess up, y/n.” he assured you, and you blushed. 
“I don’t know, I’m pretty clumsy sometimes,” you pondered, you honestly had no idea how to do it, so chances were that you would mess it up. Jin was older than you, a year or so, and you’ve seen him with a number of girls, so you were pretty positive you were the inexperienced one in this pair. 
“It’s pretty simple,” he mused, reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I could teach you.” Your heart skipped a beat at his sultry tone, he was absolutely gonna be the death of you. “I’m sure you’d be a quick learner.”
“I’m sure you’d be a good teacher,” you said, and his ears turned a nice shade of pink. You mentally grinned at your ability to fluster him, even in this frenzied state. 
“So what do you say?” he asked, running his hand down your arm to grab your hand again. Goosebumps appeared in succession, as you realized where this was going. “Is it bright enough out here for you?”
“It’s perfect,” you whispered, grinning as he smiled at you. “You’re perfect, you know that right?”
“Says you,” he cooed, “You know how long I’ve waited for a moment like this? I like you so much, y/n, it actually drives me crazy how amazing and perfect you are.” You blushed deeply at that, unsure of how in the world you had ended up here, but hearing him say the things you had always wanted him to say made your heart race so fast you were sure you were dreaming. 
“So what’s the first step?” you asked, trying to keep your voice calm as you wrapped your arm around his neck. He moved, so you were facing each other now, the blanket falling slightly. You unconsciously tangled his hair in your fingers. He closed his eyes, obviously enjoying whatever you were doing.
“Well you’re doing great so far,” he sighed, his tone breathless. “I was right, quick learner for sure.” you smirked, your fears long forgotten as you felt him lean into your touch. You had no idea that would have such an affect on him, you’d definitely remember that for later.
“What next?” you asked, and he opened his eyes. They were darker than before, and you were sure you were hallucinating. He wrapped both his arms around you, pulling you even closer. His face was inches from yours, if leaned forward you would bump noses. 
“Well I’ll pull you close, close enough to kiss you of course,” he whispered, and you chuckled. “Then I’ll probably compliment you some more, telling you how much I like being around you, how beautiful you are, how long I’ve wanted to do this.” he paused, smiling at you. “Then I’ll lean in closer, and ask if you’re sure you want this.”
“And I’ll say that I do,” you said, “That I’ve wanted this for a long time, I was just too scared to say anything, how dumb was that, huh?”
You both chuckled at that, agreeing that you both had been so scared for no reason. “That’s good to hear,” he grinned, playing with the hem of your shirt. “Cause that’d be really awkward if you didn’t feel the same.”
“Oh I feel the same,” you said quickly. “Don’t even worry about that.”
He smiled at you for the millionth time that night, and even though you should have been used to it by now, you still felt like you were floating. “Well now I’m gonna lean forward, probably a little too slowly just to tease you, and maybe I’ll pause just in front of you,” he whispered, pausing with almost no room between your lips.
“And then?” you asked quietly, afraid to break the moment. “What should I do?”
“Whatever you feel like.”
You leaned forward, closing the gap between the two of you. His lips were as soft as you had imagined they would have been. You weren’t sure what to do once you two had touched, but you felt him move away before kissing you again, this time with more pressure. You hesitantly did the same, and you felt his grip on your tighten, so you must have been doing something right. He pulled away again, and you opened your eyes to see him grinning at you. He leaned forward so his mouth was by your ear.
“You're doing great,” he said, chills running down your spine. “You’re a natural.”
He kissed your cheek, before reconnecting your lips, you moved slowly, testing the waters on what you thought might work, gauging the success rate by how Jin reacted. You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you pulled away again, but you could see that his lips were red, and you imagined yours looked the same. 
“You’re amazing,” you said, heart seizing at the way he looked at you, and it was in that moment that you knew things were going to be okay. “Definitely the best teacher I’ve ever had. I might need a few more lessons though.”
He smirked, “Oh don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time for more lessons. It’ll cost you though,”
“What’s the price?” you mused, fingers dancing around his face, tracing the outline of his jaw, his ear, his collarbone. 
“A date, with me, this weekend, at a restaurant of your choosing.”
You hummed, pretending to contemplate the idea, “I guess I can do that, but I charge too, ya know.”
“Oh yeah?” he taunted, curious what you were gonna say. “For what?”
You wanted to do something equally as romantic and sensual as him, but in that moment you were overcome with an urge to just hold onto him, to hug him. So you tightly wrapped yourself around him, stuffing your head into the crook of his neck. He returned your embrace immediately, slightly caught off guard by your change in tone, but welcomed it nevertheless. He ran his hands up and down you back as you took a deep breath. You turned your head towards him, tentatively placing a kiss on his neck. You felt him shiver slightly, the goosebumps rising on his skin. “For that,” you whispered, kissing his neck once more, before returning to your original embrace. 
He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but somehow you had managed to be adorable and extremely hot within the span of seconds, and it was in that moment he realized you would be the death of him. He held you for a while, enjoying your embrace, enjoying the way you fiddle with the hair on the nape of his neck every so often, enjoying the way he was finally holding you the way he had always wanted to.
You couldn’t have asked for anything better than this, you were so happy, you couldn’t believe your luck. Time passed, and with each minute, intoxicated by his scent, you felt yourself growing tired, wordlessly, you dozed off, the alcohol tiredness finally taking effect, and it wasn’t until Alexa knocked on the door, did Jin realize what had happened, and how much time had passed.
She quietly opened the door, “Glad to see my efforts didn’t go to waste,” Jin grinned at her, pulling the blanket over your sleeping form.
“Thank you,” he said sincerely. “Sorry I was so blind before, I owe you for what you did. If you hadn’t messaged me last week, I don’t think this ever would have happened.”
“No kidding, you both are scaredy cats, and we both know y/n never would have said anything, she liked you too much to risk it,” she said, and they chuckled. “Are you okay out here? It’s cold out here, things have calmed down inside, we’re watching a movie if you want to come back inside.”
“I’ll be in in a second,” he said. “Thank you again, Alexa, I owe you one.”
“Just put in a good word for me next time you and Jimin hang out, yeah?” she said shyly and Jin gasped. 
“Really?” he asked, an excited look on his face.
“I don’t know, maybe, he’s cool, he’s handsome, those aren’t bad things.” she explained, a blush on her face, Jin wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she sighed. “Okay I’m going, don’t make me regret asking for that. See you in a bit.”
She shut the sliding door, and Jin looked down at you again, still in awe of what had happened. You shifted in your sleep, in an attempt to get more comfortable, you snuggled closer, if that was even possible. “So Jimin and Alexa, huh?” you whispered, causing Jin to jump at the sound of your voice.
“You’re awake?” he asked.
“Kinda,” you mused, “I heard the door open. I’m glad she said something, cause you’re both right, I never would have said anything, liked you too much.”
He smiled, a deep blush on his face. He wondered how long it would take for your words to have a lesser effect, he secretly hoped it would never come. “Do you want to go watch the movie? Or do you want to sleep?”
You contemplated your choices, “Let’s go say goodbye, and you can come over?” you lifted your head to gauge his expression. “Unless you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”
“No, no, no,” he assured you. “I’d love to come over.”
You smiled, and kissed him again before standing up. Jin followed you inside, grabbing your hand the first chance he got. Your friends all watched as you came in, and Namjoon was the first to congratulate you both.
“It’s about time you did something, Jin!” Yoongi nagged, and Jin let out a shout of protest. You laughed, making eye contact with Alexa. Thank you you mouthed to her, and she smiled, so genuine and full of love. You’re welcome she mouthed back, a knowing look on her face. Next to her, Jimin sat, and you wiggled your eyebrows at her as Jin grabbed your jackets. She blushed, and you grew excited at the new prospect of their relationship. Jimin grabbed her attention as he asked her a question, and you watched as he rested a hand on her thigh, you had never seen her so bubbly and excited, you made a mental note to ask her about it later. Jin returned to your side, handing you your coat. You bid farewell to everyone, and made your way to your car. The drive home was filled with compliments, loud singing to the radio, and plenty of kisses from Jin as you drove. 
By the time you got to your apartment, you felt tired again, and you could tell Jin was finally falling victim to sleep as well. You grabbed some of his old sweats that you had stolen from your dresser, and handed them to him. You shamelessly watched as he undressed, slipping on the sweatpants, but opting out of the sweatshirt. This wasn’t the first time you had seen him shirtless, but it was certainly the first time you hadn’t looked away when he looked at you. Wordlessly, you smiled at him and stripped yourself of your shirt and bottoms. He felt his stare and you turned to take off your bra and put on an old t-shirt. You pulled on some shorts, and turned back to face him, he was laying on your bed, arms behind his head, his muscles on full display. You blushed at the sight, climbing into bed next to him, immediately leaning into his touch as he pulled you onto his chest. You felt it rise and fall with each breath he took, it was incredibly calming. 
“You’re beautiful,” he said, tilting your jaw up to kiss you. Your legs went weak at the feeling, and you laid your hand on his chest. “So so beautiful, I’m so lucky.”
“Says you, world wide handsome,” you joked, and he laughed. Things were gonna be just fine, you could feel it.
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j-reau · 4 years ago
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a hiatus or something
I didn’t want to post this. I told myself to give it until morning and sleep but I’ve been laying here for over an hour and I can’t sleep and I know I’m not going to sleep until I get it out. And I decided I’m not going to do the pretend things don’t bother us mentality that tumblr likes, the don’t show emotions on the dashboard, don’t let people know you’re hurt or angry out of fear it’ll be seen as ~drama or whatever thing stop me from just saying how I feel. Because I feel pretty shitty? I’ve been feeling shitty for a few days now. Maybe more. Last week I told myself that the drama that had randomly cropped up was just too much and I wasn’t going to let tumblr be something that made me cry or panic or kept me up at night over bullshit like arguing with someone over things that happened years ago. So I set my focus on my friends, on my dashboard, on reminding myself why I love RP and why I’ve been in it for this many years, for so long, with all of these people. Those Valentines I posted were part of that project for me. It was a reminder, for myself and my dash about all of the human connection that happens here, all the people we meet, all the little pieces of each other we take on and take with us, all the ships, all the conversations, however brief.  From the people we just see on our dash to the ones we talk to about all our fears and insecurities. And how all of it matters. 
I know how much we all love to say calm down gregg, it’s tumblr RP. I know how we all loathe this hellsite when we’re being our worst. I know how we all talk about how we’re too old for this now or we’re tired. We’re just here to write. I’m just here to write. I love writing. But what brings us all back time and time again, what keeps us here is the fact that it’s not just tumblr RP. It’s a community. Whether you have a real life that keeps you busy or your whole life is here, whether you have plenty of friends offline or all your closes people live on discord, we’re all people. And we all take this with us. We make friendships and we talk to each other. We open ourselves up to the constant trust and fear of interaction, of  plotting, of who is going to reach out or send the meme. We build friendships based on that, we care for each other, we see each other’s bad days on the dash, and great days and inspiration. And it means something. It may just be tumblr RP, but it matters to us. Because of the people here, because we give a fuck about each other. Or at least I’ve always liked to hope we do. I have friends on this website I’ve had for ten years, some just for 3, and others just a few months. It always floors me how we can always come back to it, how we stick with each other or don’t, how we see the good and the bad and the ugly. 
So to get on with it, I wrote those Valentines.  I hit refresh on my blog and put the weird random drama in the past and moved forward. I made this blog for JJ only about 3 months ago. I don’t know how I got 500 followers in that short time but I did. And it’s. been the wildest experience I can possibly explain, having that happen so quickly, finding so many people out in the RPC that I hadn’t before on my other blogs. I felt fucking good. I was excited. Not just to write a character I had wanted to and loved for years but to find so many people who I vibed with. I remember writing a post about a month in and being so fucking ... floored. By how much I loved you all, by how amazing it was to be received like that still, to find people my age and who wrote things I liked and loved their female characters. I fucking love JJ. I LOVE THE SHIT out of my partners on this blog, even the new people I’m still itching to write with. And yet, I did that little refresh, posted my valentines , got ready to go and felt .... sad. 
I tried to explain it. I tried to tell myself it was a bad mood. I hoped maybe it was medication. But I couldn’t shake the weird funk. And everywhere I looked it seemed like things were .... not good. My friends taking breaks, people feeling sad too, relationships splitting, people I liked and respected separating themselves. Tonight, one of my closest friends I’ve made on this blog blocked me. Someone I adored and trusted and absolutely loved to write with. Tumblr says we’re not supposed to care. That we’re supposed to let people draw their lines in the sand and take their leave and maybe we are. Maybe it’s important to let people make their choices. But I also think it’s important as fuck to talk to your friends, to mean what you say when you tell someone they’re important to you. I think it’s important that we remember on the other side of every blog and discord user is a person. Who has bad days and bad feelings and cries and feels insecure and tells themselves it’s just tumblr RP even when they know somehow it feels heavier when it’s bad. This was a friend I had talked to at length about all of those exact things, about how personal the community can feel sometimes, about feeling replaceable or invisible, even for the toughest most confident most take no shit people. I’ve always considered myself a pretty tough, confident, take no shit person. I think anyone who has known me for as many years as I’ve been around has seen that first hand. I don’t like how sad I’ve felt lately. I don’t like the insecurity that’s making me want to know why things feel way or why people vanish without so much as an explanation. I had to block a mutual last week I saw making fun of me on their twitter. A mutual. Someone who chose to follow me and on a public place where my other friends could see it made fun of what I posted. And I just don’t know what we’re doing anymore. It didn’t bother me. I don’t have hurt feelings over it. That’s the kind of stuff I definitely know I’m confident about. But .... it did really fucking floor me. Because here we are, on a sight where users talk about positivity and not sending anon hate, and we can treat each other like that. 
I’ve been sitting up in bed for hours trying to figure out what to say or what to do. That’s what I do I guess. I try to figure out what to do, how we fix it, like somehow there’s some unified we and some responsibility to make things better. A lot of you have only known me for a few months so this probably sounds all kinds of nuts. And you’re probably going JJ you’ve been an emotional mess since the moment we met you. Because I feel like that’s how it’s been for the last few months. But that’s not how it’s always been for me. That’s not who I am. So for now I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I do. Instead of sitting here and spinning and trying to figure out how we as a community fix these gaping holes and the way we talk about each other like we’re disposable and treat each other like names on a list instead of people. 
For now, I think what I do is take a little break. It’s the very thing I don’t want to do. Because it feels like quitting and it feels like being scared away. So I feel the need to promise whoever has read all of this and myself that that’s not what it is. Maybe I’ll be back in two days, maybe two weeks, who knows. But I need a break. From whatever this feeling is that seems to have come over things lately. I’ve loved these few months on this blog so much. And maybe that’s half the problem. Maybe I got spoiled and this is the come down. Maybe I’m just an idiot who thinks what we all want on this website is to find people and love each other and write together. I never knew that me -- the person often accused of being aloof and feelingsless and distant would somehow turn into the emotional bitch on this website but here we are I guess. I just don’t know how to navigate this anymore. I don’t know how to put my heart into relationships and friendships that can just be switched off like we can just stop caring about people. I don’t know how to ignore people who say horrible things and do horrible things to each other just because we don’t want to see it on our dashes. I don't know how to give enough of everything to everyone so that every single one of my mutuals and partners knows they’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. I don’t know when I got to be so much of a raw, frayed edge on tumblr dot com but that’s how I feel. And I hope in a few days or sometime soon I’ll have an answer or at least get my hard shell back.
I want to keep writing. I want to keep talking to you guys. I don’t want to lose anyone. I truly mean what I say when I say you’re all important to me. I plan to still be around on discord. I’ll write on discord if anyone wants to keep writing. If we aren’t discord friends yet and you want to be, send a message. I plan to come back. I don’t want to abandon anything. I’m so deeply fucking sorry for this rant, for all the overflow of feelings lately, for anyone that’s had to listen to them, for putting them on your dashes, for fucking all of it. Please be good to each other. Please talk to each other. Please remember that if we’ve crossed paths at any point on this blog, I value you. I value all of your friendships, your writing, your shitposts, your dash commentary, your tiktoks you dump at me on discord. I love you. Every last fucking one of you. 
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angryschnauzer · 4 years ago
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I know i’ve not been on here as much recently, or when i am i’m interacting with just the usual crew... and i apologise for that. I’ve had an influx of new followers and i really should have welcomed you and included you. Unfortunately real life has been dealing me yet another shitty hand of cards, and its all down to accusations of copying, not fanfiction, but for my actual business.
Long boring word vomit so i’ll put it below a read more cut. But just know i am trying to get back here to have fun with my online friends, followers, and all the rest of you freaks.
So you already know i run a little craft business. I used to do wedding decorations, but then 2020 happened and no-one was getting married, so i had to diversify in order to pay the bills. I used my skills and branched out into all sorts of crafts; sewing, papercrafts, making kits for people to make at home. And i did well. I kept the business going through a pandemic, i kept food on the table and the bills paid. But it was hard work. Really fucking hard work. Coming into 2021 with honestly not an awfully different outlook on the trading market, i realised that i needed to do something to increase the value of each sale. To put it basically, its better for a business to have one purchase at a value of £10, than four purchases each at £2.50. Its the same overall turnover, but its four times the amount of packing, time, shipping materials etc. So i looked to what was trending and saw the idea of doing mixed item postal gifts. Kind of like a subscription box but without the subscription; so i would a limited quantity of a certain selection box each month, people could purchase them as and when they were able to. Hell, i could even get other local small businesses involved to add a product of theirs in. 
So i did it. I worked so fucking hard, and i launched them. 
And then one local company starts commenting on my social media posts. Things like “You know we do these too”, and “This is just like our company, that has been going since last year”, and then they post this on their facebook page;
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So they get a bunch of people private messaging them asking whats going on. The comments are ‘R U ok Hun?’ type comments. Well one of the people was a mutual friend, who clued me into what was being said, and it was a blatant “she’s copying us”.
I then sit back. This is all happening within the first week of January, when i am trying to launch this product, and also network with other companies to try and get people to work with me. 
Now you know what never once popped up when i was doing my research? THIS FUCKING COMPANY. The last post on social media was 16th December, and it was a lifestyle post, not even a business post. We were already a good 2+ weeks since christmas, and upon further inspection of their website, the only things they had available on there were Christmas boxes... at full price, not even discounted. Not once did they come up in my searches because guess what? They don’t use hashtags on their posts. They didn’t do any networking, they didn’t post on local facebook groups, L I T E R A L L Y nothing. But i’m now getting what seems to be a fucking hate campaign with people that know this business commenting on every single post on social media. Its a full time job just trying to delete and block these comments, because once a business gets even a snippet of a rumour about them, it sticks. And i do A LOT of local business.
I have resisted SO HARD blazing a post calling them out on my social media, but the one thing i’ve always been taught is don’t air your dirty laundry in public. I haven’t even said anything on my personal fb page as i know i have some mutual friends with the person that runs this business. 
But the absolute weirdest thing about this whole situation, is after they did that post on facebook, they DELETED their business facebook page, and blocked my business from their insta page (i have other accounts so they really are quite dumb to think i won’t be able to see them). But... its the run up to valentines day, and then UK Mothers Day (14th March), so its like prime time to be getting gift boxes out there! Nothing new has been posted on their website, if they aren’t going to be doing any more boxes, WHY THE HELL are they trying to run me into the ground? 
AND, AND, AND, this wasn’t exactly their unique idea, pamper boxes by post are a really popular item, there are literally 25 companies locally doing this!  WHY THE FUCK DO THEY WANT TO PICK ON ME???
Ok rant over. Sorry you had to put up with all that word vomit.
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tangledstarlight · 4 years ago
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work in progress wednesday 
hello hi! okay so i’m working on a few different things right now because i have no self control but i’d thought i’d show you the rough outline i have worked out for my reincarnation au since i just gotta super excited about the idea of it again. and also part of this juke fake dating au i have because i feel like if i post it somewhere it might make me actually finish it
reincarnation au
i work in a really annoying way in which i have to physically write stuff out first, so i’ve basically got all this on flashcards with extra information/plot details about each decade/century. and also a flashcard for each of the main characters, colour coded, with things that stay the same in each life, and points that tie them all together (i’m literally so close to ordering red string and creating a crime scene murder board for organisation hfj). 
i’m sticking with the greek gods vibe, mostly because i love a bit of greek mythology, which means rose is Hestia because the home, hearth & family vibes are strong in the molina household if you ask me. i havent settled on a god for caleb yet but i’m leaning towards one who deals with chaos? it’s still a little up in the air.
i’m still trying to figure out what’s going to happen between 300bc and the 1300′s because there’s gotta be at least one life in there somewhere yknow?
i have to say i’m most excited about writing the willie interlude chapter and boys as cowboys, they just feel like they’re gonna be fun. 
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juke fake dating au
i really like what i have, and i love a fake dating au but i just...idk the motivation to actually finish it seems to have vanished and that makes me sad
“So. I’ve got a... proposition for you. Or a request I guess. A deal? An idea of mutual beneficial rewards?” Julie frowned, head tilted to the side as she thought about it. During all her rehearsing of this moment she had completely forgotten to think about how to actually approach the topic. 
Now she was just sounding crazy if the raised eyebrows Luke was shooting her way were any indication. 
“I’m listening. Unless you’re about to ask me to help you commit some kind of crime, then we might have to do this somewhere a little less,” he twirled a finger in the air and leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice to a whisper “public. Don’t wanna get caught.” 
He said it all with such an easy smile, calming her racing nerves without even realising that’s what he was doing. Or maybe he did know. Everyone always joked about how Luke was constantly wrapped up in his music, he didn’t notice much going on around him, but he could be surprisingly in tune with his friends' emotions when he wanted to be. Which is part of the reason why Julie was doing this, she reminded herself. There was a reason it was Luke she was asking. 
“I think we should fake date.”
The words hung in the air between them. And, now they were out in the open, Julie realised just how mad the whole idea sounded. The sight of Luke’s smile freezing, eyebrows rising higher as his eyes grew wider (a look that, under other circumstances would have made her laugh) had Julie rushing to get out her explanation before he could completely say no. She had put a lot of thought into this! 
“No, no, listen! I know it sounds weird and silly and completely crazy. But it makes sense! Dad and Carlos have been worrying and Tia is convinced I’ve sworn off relationships because I’m scared of getting hurt because of mom and what happened with Nick and Flynn is constantly trying to set me up on dates. Even though I’ve told them all I’m perfectly fine! There’s nothing wrong with being single and alone, and it’s not even like I’m alone-alone. I have friends. I’m not some kind of crazy recluse.” Julie felt herself spiralling into a rant and had to take a deep breath to pull herself back. Luke still hadn’t moved since she’d started speaking, though she could swear his lips twitched in an almost smile. 
“And! You’re always saying how your mom drives you mad about how you’ve never brought someone home to meet them. And Alex and Reggie are always teasing you about not being able to keep a date because you’re always scaring people away with your crazy intense music obsession and how you’re going to be forever alone surrounded by guitars instead of cats.” Reggie had gone into scary details about how he thought Luke’s life was going to play out, it was both terrifying and hilarious. 
“If we pretend to date for a few weeks it will get them all off our backs, we wouldn’t even have to change all that much about what we do now. Maybe just, dinner or something, hold hands. You already spend all your time here anyway. And then in a month or something we can have an amicable break up. Everyone wins.” She ended her speech a little out of breath, having rushed through all her thoughts. Luke is still looking at her, his eyes still wide and his smile frozen in place. But he was still sitting at the counter, which Julie was going to take as a good sign. 
“So? What do you think?” She chewed on her lip, casting her eyes down and trying - and failing - to not fidget with her fingers. Luke still hadn’t responded, hadn’t moved. Oh god, he thought it was a terrible plan didn’t he? 
Now he was never going to want to hang out with her again, he’d avoid coming to the cafe and stop inviting her to their gigs and she’d be down to only Flynn as a friend and she really would be a recluse. 
Was there a limit on how many cats you could adopt at once? She didn’t think her apartment building even allowed cats. Great, now she was going to have to move as well!
“Hey,” Luke’s voice was gentle as it pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts, and he must have been trying to get her attention for a while, she thinks, because one of his hands is reaching out to settle on top of hers that had started tapping insistently on the counter top. Julie hadn’t even realised she was doing that. 
“You put a lot of thought into this whole, fake dating thing, huh?” He says the words ‘fake dating’ carefully, slowly, like he’s worried about something. But Julie doesn’t know what. She nods her head though, blowing out a breath and raising her eyes again until they land on Luke’s own. 
“Even made a powerpoint. There were pictures and graphs.” 
Luke laughed at that and Julie felt all the sudden tension leave her shoulders. She’s reminded, again, that this is Luke and there is a reason why she’s asking him to part-take in her crazy plan. 
“I mean-” He pauses, tilting his head a little to the side, his eyes unfocused as he seems to think something over. Julie waits, forces her hand, that is still underneath his, to be still lest she seem impatient for his answer. Which she is, but Luke doesn’t need to know that. It feels like an eternity has passed before he’s blinking, eyes focusing on hers and a wide grin breaking across his face. Julie can’t help but smile back reflectively. 
“I guess it wouldn’t really change all that much about our lives, huh? We’d just get to hang out more. And it would be nice for my parents and the guys to get off my back about never going out on dates.”
It takes Juile a moment to realise what exactly Luke is saying. 
“Wait, you mean you’ll do it?” She had hoped he would agree, but actually hearing him say it is a whole other thing. 
“Yeah, of course I’ll do it. And hey, it could be kinda fun!” There’s an infectious excitement in Luke’s voice and Julie grins, impulsively turns her hand over on the counter top so she can link their fingers together and squeeze his hand.
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withyounct · 5 years ago
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What’s wrong kid? (2)
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Reader x Single dad!Jaehyun
Genre: Fluff
Words: 2.6k
Prompt: You notice a child crying at a school playground. You decide to see what’s up and meet an extremely stressed/extremely handsome father.
Prev | Next
A/n: There is a slight Reader X Jaemin moment for like 12 seconds. Enjoy!
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Watching Hyunjin was not only the easiest job ever it was also the funniest. She had such a ray of youthful exuberance mixed with an odd amount of maturity for her age. It was Friday night and you were putting her to bed when she hit you with a comment that completely threw you off.
“I hate this.” Hyunjin pouted, eyes brimming with tears. You immediately panicked. You were reading her favorite bedtime story. She was surrounded by her favorite plushies, her favorite star nightlight was on. Everything was downright perfect.
“You hate what Hyunjin?” You treaded cautiously while pulling her closer to you on the bed.
“You’re always gone when I wake up.” She admitted sadly, holding onto your side. You thought about it for a minute. For the past week you two spent every late afternoon and evening together. You would put her to bed and, in her mind, disappear until the next afternoon.
“I'm sorry. But you get to see your dad in the morning.” You reminded her hoping it would make her feel better. She just pouted more.
“Why can’t I see you both in the morning?” She asked innocently. The implication of staying over made your face hot, so you ruffled her hair in hopes to distract her from your slight panic expression.
“Well I don’t live here.” You laughed. You reminded her that you guys get to spend all of Sunday together. She accepted this begrudgingly and fell asleep after two more books.
You wandered into the living room to find Jaehyun on the couch reading through some documents. He looked up upon your arrival and sent you his signature smile, dimples and all. You stared at him questionably. How long has he been home? Why didn’t he say goodnight to Hyunjin?
“I didn’t want to interrupt. She would have been too hyper if I came in and its really late.” He answered before you could ask. You nodded understandingly and took a seat by him.
“It’s your house and daughter. You wouldn’t be “interrupting” anything. Plus, I wish you would have.” You added letting your head lean on the back of the couch. Jaehyun placed down the stack of papers and copied your movements.
“Why?” He turned his head in your direction and for the second time that night you had to hide your panicked expression. This close up you could see just how handsome he really was. You scanned his face and couldn’t find a single flaw. The raise of one of his eyebrows brought you back.
“She’s upset because I disappear before the morning. I sucked at explaining it to her; your input would have been helpful.” You blushed being caught staring dumbly. He smiled and turned his head back forward.
“You probably did a good job, but I’ll talk to her in the morning.” He reassured. You hummed and silence fell between you. After a few minutes he let out a heavy sigh.
“I’ve been so busy; I'm starting to feel like a shitty father.” He confessed. You were taken aback. In the week that you’ve know him he was anything but a ‘shitty father’. You sat up and nudged his leg.
“A shitty father wouldn’t wake up at the ass crack of dawn to prepare his daughter’s lunch and make breakfast. He wouldn’t take his time out of his already busy day to make sure her hair was done nicely, and her uniform was ironed. He wouldn’t care if she’s with someone that she actually liked watching her. He wouldn’t bust his ass day to day to make sure she has a happy and secure life. Jaehyun you’re nowhere near being a shitty father.” You ranted more concerned than you need to be.
There was a silence that engulfed you two unlike the first and you felt that you might have overstepped your boundaries. But, you weren’t going to apologize for being right. He looked at the leg that you nudged then at you. You saw a smile make its way across his face and he laughed.
“Has anyone told you your kind of amazing?” He asked while in a laughing fit. If your face wasn’t hot before it was then.
“Several times a day.” You lied, slightly turning away from him.
“Thanks.” A calm smile replaced its former. “I really needed that.”
“Anytime.” You softly smiled.
Since it was Friday you stayed longer than usual. You talked Jaehyun into putting his work away and to watch a movie with you. You, being the horror fan that you were, suggested The Conjuring. Jaehyun told you that he didn’t believe in ghost, which you thought was funny given how many times he got startled by a jump-scare.
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Saturday rolled around and you were hanging out at Mark and Haechan’s apartment. Haechan had called you over to help him pick out and outfit for the party that night; the party you had no interest in going to.
“Mark ‘I never leave the music building’ Lee is going, and you can’t because?” Haechan grilled, throwing clothes on you while you laid on his bed. Mark shot a “I can hear you’ from the kitchen, but neither of you paid him mind.
“I got other shit to do.” You picked up a plaid shirt and threw it in the ��no’ pile.
“Being what? You disappear more than I do nowadays. Which is fine, but we would like to know who you’re ditching us for.” Mark asked walking into Haechan’s room. You looked between your friends and saw a hint of concern in their expression. You asked if this was a common concern across everyone, including Kun and Ten, and they nodded.
“I've been babysitting this really cute girl.” You stated simply. They looked at each other then back at you.
“You like children?” They asked in unison.  
“Meh, but she’s really adorable and fun to be around.” You confessed. They looked at each other once more and shrugged, accepting your explanation. Mark pulled out his phone to text the rest of your friends and Haechan went back to throwing clothes at you.
About 30 minutes later you felt your phone vibrate.
“I’ll be right back.” You announced to the two.
“Jaehyun, what’s up?”
“Y/n, hey. My friends and I are taking Hyunjin to the aquarium, so you have the day off.” He informed happily. You could hear Hyunjin screaming in the background about fishes with another male voice; you guessed it was Johnny’s.
“Okay have fun.” You smiled.
“We will.” You heard Hyunjin and Johnny? scream ‘dolphins!’ before Jaehyun hung up. You chuckled to yourself and turned to walk back into the room. There you were greeted by a nosy Haechan leaning on the door.
“Oh man what a bummer, it looks like your plans are cancelled. So, you’re going to this fucking party.” He let out a cheshire smile. You always had a hard time saying no to him so after an hour of begging you gave in.
“I'm gonna go home and change.” You rolled off his bed and attempted to grab your keys. Mark got to it first and shoved it in his pocket.
“As if. We let you leave, and you’ll just lock yourself in your room till tomorrow.” He smirked. You squinted at him, but said nothing because he was right. Haechan pulled out his phone and dialed Ten.
“Hey, can you do me a favor and pick Y/n out and outfit for a party? Yeah and can you bring it and her makeup bag here too. Thanks.” You heard Ten yell “fuck yeah’ on the other end before it went dead.
Ten and Kun brought over the stuff and took your car back to the apartment. You begrudgingly got ready. The outfit screamed ‘Ten picked me out’ a red crop top with a lace bralette under, high waisted ripped black jeans with fishnets, and black boots. You finished up your makeup and stole a few of Haechan’s accessories when Mark announced it was time to go.
Since you had no intention of going you had no idea whose party it was. When you pulled up at Hendery and Xiaojun’s house you were surprised. They were friends of Yangyang and acquaintances of yours. They both came from fairly wealthy families, so they rented out the biggest and nicest house off campus.
“Holy fuck you look hot.” Jaemin greeted when you entered the house.
“Thank Ten.” You blushed at the sudden compliment.
You were suddenly dragged by Lucas and Xiaojun who demanded you do shots with them. Somewhere between the jello shots and real shots you were pulled to the dance floor by Hendery. To say you were having fun would be an understatement. You had a comfortable amount of alcohol in your system and you felt light as a feather.
More partying and shots later, you found yourself in an intense make out session with Jaemin. It was a mutual thing. After dancing for what it felt like hours, you drifted to his side on the sofa. The two of you were talking about nothing when lips met. He pulled you onto his lap and you carded your hands through his hair. You guys were going at each other for a good 5 minutes when you were interrupted.
“Umm.” Renjun’s voice broke you two apart. You looked down at Jaemin then back at Renjun and Jeno. You slid off of his lap and opened your mouth to say something, anything, when they both just walked away. Jaemin glanced down at you and the two of you squinted at each other. You were the first to break into laughter. Jaemin soon followed suit. He grabbed your hand and pulled you into the kitchen to do more shots with your friend group.
It was nearing 3am and you were beyond tired. You found space on one of the couches upstairs and was leaning on Lucas’s side when Jeno appeared.
“Y/n you okay?” He asked sweetly.
“Mm tired.” You pouted.
“Where’s Mark and Haechan?” Lucas asked while petting your head.
“Fucking it up on the dance floor. Y/n, here let me take you home.” Jeno, being the angel he was, pulled you up. You waved bye to Lucas and was gently place in the passenger seat. The drive was mostly silent since Jeno was the comfortable silence type.
“You don’t have to answer this, but do you by chance like Jaemin?” He asked suddenly at a red light. You weakly turned your head from the window to him. You could see the worry on his face.
“Not like that.” You answered, way to tired to elaborate. You rolled your head back to the window and sighed at the coldness on your warm face. When you arrived at your apartment you dreaded the walk up the stairs. While you were complaining in your head, Jeno got out the car and opened your side.
“Here.” He unbuckled the seat and scooped you up bridal style. You could have protested, but you were happy you didn’t have to make the walk and possibly trip and die. You informed him that Kun had your keys, so you both waited until they answered the door. Jeno passed you on and left. The last thing you remembered was Ten and Kun taking off your make up and putting you to bed.
Waking up the next morning sucked. Jaehyun had a full day so you had to be there by noon. You slammed your alarm off and sat up. You had a few sitting minutes so you pondered if you should text Jaemin, but decided to give your brain time to process what to say. So, you texted Jeno thanks instead. On your way out the door, Kun handed you coffee and Ten sunglasses.
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“Did someone party to hard last night?” Jaehyun joked when he opened the door.
“You have no idea.” You muttered taking off your sunglasses.
“You can tell me over coffee. You look like you need more.” He said leading you to the kitchen. You smiled at his offer and tried to forget about his hands on your shoulders.
He placed a mug of coffee in front of you and you laughed at how much cream he put in it.
“So, spill.”
“I made out with one of my friends and had way too many shots.” You sighed. You noticed the shock spread across his face and another expression you couldn’t quite place.
“Oh, um well. Do you like this friend?” He asked awkwardly and you were a bit thrown off, but kept your face neutral.
“No. Not like that, but what if he likes me and it makes shit awkward.” You worried. Jaehyun’s face looked, what you would consider, relieved. But again, you kept your face neutral because there was no way. Right?
“You should talk to him. You guys are friends, so I'm sure it’ll be fine.” He ruffled your hair in reassurance.
“Wise words from a wise guy.” You joked. He cringed at how lame it was and you two talked until he had to go.
Hyunjin was taking her afternoon nap when you decided to suck it up and call Jaemin. Before you could get anything out, he spoke.
“Fam. You’re one of my best friends and I love you, but not like that. You just looked really hot, not to say you don’t look hot all the time I pride myself on having the hottest group of friends and I don’t know what happened, but I'm sorry. Are we cool?” Jaemin pleaded. You laughed because he was also lowkey freaking out.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. We’re good.” You smiled.
The day with Hyunjin was filled with its usual fun and adventures. You two spent some time in the garden and had an intense hide and seek battle. You got done putting her to sleep when you heard the door open. You looked up from your spot on the bed and saw Jaehyun smiling holding up a box. You carefully snuck out the room and followed him to the kitchen.
“Hyunjin told me your favorite dessert is cheesecake.” He smiled holding up the box proudly. You went to retrieve plates and told him about your conversation with Jaemin.
“Wise guy is always right.” He noted, placing a piece of cake on your plate.
“You can’t use my lame joke against me.” You laughed poking him with your fork. He smiled softly at you laughing and went into his pocket.
“Here. You can use this freely.” He placed down a key. You glanced down at it and picked it up. You were happy that he trusted you this much, but it seemed a bit fast. He must have picked up on your hesitation because he closed your fist with the key in hand. Your pulse jumped by a thousand at the sudden touch.
“Hyunjin is really good at sensing people to the point where it’s kind of scary. She trusts you as much as she trusts me even though she hasn’t known you for long. Please take this key for emergency and non-emergency purposes.” You saw the pure sincerity in his eyes and hooked the key to your keychain.
“You’ll regret this when I eat all your food.” You murmured trying to hide your growing blush.
“I doubt that.” He smiled.
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Jaehyun slowly opened Hyunjin’s door and made his way over to her. He smiled down at the dolphin plushie that Doyoung bought her squished between her and the bed. Carefully, he petted her head. Despite his efforts, her eyes slowly opened.
“Did I wake you? I'm sorry.” He spoke softly.
“Daddy.” She smiled. “Y/n’s gone?” She asked. He nodded and noticed her sad expression.
“You really like her?” He asked more than stated. She sat up and nodded quickly. She proceeded to tell him everything she thought was amazing about you.
For the first time in a long time, Jaehyun wasn’t sure if his heart was swelling because of his daughter or you. But he did agree, he thought you were amazing too.
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contrabandhothead · 4 years ago
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Hi! Do you think I could get a ship please? I’m 5’6” and have blue eyes and curly brown hair. I’m Syrian-American and working to join the Marines after HS. 💪 I’m competitive and energetic, and my mom says she can’t keep up with me. I know I can be overbearing sometimes but I can’t help it, I’m passionate! >:( My sense of humor is chaotic, I’ll laugh at anything. Also, hiking is how I relax. I love being part of a team, and my family, friends, and country mean everything to me. Thanks, be safe.
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Brad Colbert
general
yes i’m shipping you with the Iceman and i promise it’s a good ship so don’t @ me like that
you guys are like the most athletic/adventurous couple ever
basically you’re that one athletic couple that everyone wants to be
you and brad go on trips ALL THE TIME when you’re stateside
camping, hiking, scuba diving, road trips, etc.
welcome back to me having a total height difference kink... hi i’m short haha
brad is significantly taller than you (he’s literally 10 inches taller than you-)
Brad isn’t one to show PDA, but he’s very affectionate when you’re alone together
he’ll rest his head on top of yours, spoon, hold your hand, etc. (he grumbles about it but he secretly loves it)
Brad lovesss that you are joining the marines, it gives you both common ground and helps you understand just how important his career is to him
it can get a bit hectic, especially with you both having such busy schedules, but you both manage to put off a few hours a week to spend together
Brad loves how energetic you are, it keeps him on his toes and helps him live life a little more on the edge
he loves how passionate you are about things, but sometimes it can cause unnecessary arguments
your overbearing tendencies can be sort of a double edged sword
on one hand, it helps him make sure he’s taking care of himself and it also teaches him to put himself before others when necessary
however, it can cause a lot of arguments
it’s no secret that Brad can have quite the icy temper, and this can cause a few days of complete silence between you two
both of you always forgive each other, admit your mistakes, and move on
Brad loves how chaotic your humor is, it compliments him well and he’s always secretly trying to make you laugh
if Brad sees you getting ready to go on a hike after a long day, he’ll join you
unless you make it clear that you don’t want him there, he’s coming with you
he let’s you rant about the day while you both follow the trail, occasionally offering his own advice and weighing in on your decisions if necessary
Brad’s not always very open with his feelings, and he’s very insecure after his past relationship
just comfort him in return every once in a while and he should be fine
how you two met
you two actually met through a mutual friend, our good old pal Tony Espera
Tony had recently been introducing you to some of the members of Bravo Two during the party he was hosting, as he wanted to get you acquainted with some of the other Recon Marines before everyone stepped off
meeting Brad had been... an experience to say the least
at first, Brad had been very cold (i guess that nickname came from somewhere), barely even giving you a second glance at the Recon party
however, this changed when the majority of the people there had to go home and get some shut eye, so the only people left were you, Brad, Tony’s family, Nate, and a very drunk Ray
Ray was... not in good shape
he had decided to play beer pong against Doc Bryan (never a good move) which had resulted in him losing 4 times before he actually won because he refused to stop playing until he beat him
afterwards, he had decided to do Jell-O shots with Walt, Jason, and Q-Tip, who were all equally as drunk
thus, you were now stuck in the clusterfuck that was Ray throwing up all over the sidewalk as you helped (more like dragged) Ray to his car with Brad
you and Brad had begun to warm up to each other as the night went on, especially when you were the only person to get Ray to STOP drinking
plus Ray had thrown up on your shoes, and Brad felt pretty bad about that because he’s Ray’s designated babysitter
as you shut the passenger door behind Ray, you turned to Brad
“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you take him home? It’s partially my fault that he’s so drunk anyways, I dared him to drink more tequila than me....”
surprisingly, Brad laughed. “Nah, we’ll be fine. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to take him home drunk. I’m sorry about your shoes though, he normally has better aim.”
you grimaced, but a smile began to slowly spread over your face
“I’m sure you can make it up to me some other time!”
I’m so sorry this took so long!!!! I hope this was at least good enough for you, but I had a fun time writing it. Thanks so much for submitting your request, I hope you have a lovely week! 💕
~ Ky
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bangtanfancamp · 5 years ago
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✨This or That!✨
Hello loves, I was tagged literal ages ago by @curly-bangtan (who is such a sweet human btw! Thank you for the tag :’) it’s impossibly sweet of you) and am in the backseat while road trippin so I’ve finally got some free time to fill this out! I’m so excited !! I love these things !so without further ado🙃 Lessss gooooo
• slow burn or love at first sight
I guess to clarify, I love an instant spark of attraction and a long treacherous road to resolution- while also being painfully obvious that there is attraction and also while being overtly flirty but no one has the emotional motor skills to just be upfront about it already
•fake dating or secret dating
Oh, 1,000,000% fake dating. It is one of the single greatest regrets of my life that no one has ever asked me to be their fake date or gf. Because I would have been F A N T A S T I C at it. But I guess I’ll never get to live out that pretend to real slowburn in real life after all.... also, secret dating can feel really sucky and isolating so I don’t recommend.
•enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers
Oh god, must I really pick between my children? My whole life it was best friends to lovers. Now that I am currently dating the guy who was my best friend, I really melt over the fiery tension of enemies to lovers ... GOD! it’s so satisfying!!! But I think best friends to lovers still has to squeak by just by an ounce. (I’m a softy at heart, what can I say?)
•oh no! There’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence
Oh far and away, the one bed trope! No contest. I also deeply regret that I haven’t figured out how to make myself attractive enough for someone to try to pull this one over on me. *sigh* well, what can you do? .... also, did a long distance relationship for...6.5 years? And yeah, if you’re a romantic like me- it is dreadfully unfulfilling, let me tell you.
•Hurt/comfort or Amnesia
Mother freaking amnesia A L W A Y S !!! Heck yes! Are there amnesia fics??? 🤭I’ve never found one! But I absolutely love this trope in stories and movies. One of my all time favorites- which AGAIN- has not had the decency to actually come to fulfillment in my real life: Like why has park Jimin never showed up spontaneously at one of my doctors appointments trying to convince me that we’ve been best friends who were secretly in love with other since we were 14 and we finally just got engaged or married a month ago and his life is incomplete without me but he’ll patiently wait for me to love him in return again in my own time but in the meantime, he’ll love me in any and every little way he can until I fall for him again? Huh? Where is it! .... was that too specific😅?
•Fantasy au or modern au
no contest. Give me medieval maidens and dragons any day. I live in modern day. Lemme tell you- she ain’t that special.
•mutual pining or domestic bliss
cue Schmidt from new girl-“I can do this AWL day, son- AWLLL DAY!!” Yessssss!!! Mutual pining is my crack! Give it to me! Always! Gimme it! (Why can’t I have the things that I want!) okay this is just a Schmidt quote/rant post now. ..... I really want to love domestic bliss. And some of the writers who are excellent at it absolutely take my breath away at how beautifully they romanticize the every day. But outside of their writing, I have no scope of how to conjure that wonder up on my own. It is a skill I deeply lack. In real life, I just wind up feeling like the bliss is boring- gimme some pining! Some angst! Some tension!!! Even if I do love me some fluff. Someone once I told me that I was in love with the idea of someone being in love with me. Gotta say, he’s not wrong.
•canon compliant or fix it fic
Honestly, I can’t say I’ve read very many of either. But I do like to see how people flex their creativity.
•alternate universe or future fic
My favorite tv show of all time is Fringe (god bless you, JJ Abrams). Your girl LOVES alternate timelines, multiple universes, flashpoint, paradox, butterfly/ripple effect- all of it!! Dear god, yes! Give it to me! (Also, every time I have a crush or dream that doesn’t work out, I comfort myself with the thought that somewhere out there, there’s an alternate timeline version of me that is happily existing with said boy or flourishing in said dream endeavor. It’s a tremendous source of comfort).
Although, I must say, in the comic realm, alternate universes can sometimes frustrate me- like genuinely, could we not just make the alpha timeline the most incredible one? Instead of the best relationships and plot threads never being actual canon?! Can we get it together??? Or are alternate timelines just the comic industry’s way of writing their own fix it fics, generations after the original protagonist has been painted into a corner. Also, how hard must that be? To write endlessly for the same character for 60+ years? We write one fic or a couple books for the same character... could you IMAGINE having to supply 60 years worth of consistent weekly or monthly context!!! Wild
•one shot or multi chapter
I prefer multi chapter because I prefer getting engrossed in an entire work/world. Usually I am left wanting with a well written one shot, because they’ve made it so real that I can’t stand not having more- so my greedy butt loves the feast of multi chapter so I can have as many delicious moments and details with these characters as possible.
I do however deeply admire the skill and brevity it takes to made a succinct one shot. @underthejoon and @kpopfanfictrash are both brilliant as heck at that. And it is admirable as all get out.
•kid fic or road trip fic
honestly, considering how much I swoon over men who are good with children in real life, and how much I look forward to being both pregnant and a mom one day, I really never get into kid or pregnancy fics. I just don’t? Don’t know why. But a road trip!???? Oh heck yes!!! 👏🏽Where 👏🏽do 👏🏽I 👏🏽sign 👏🏽up!!???👏🏽
•reincarnation or character death
Oh absolutely reincarnation. I love that. I blame sailor moon for that.....But also, I think it’s just very in line with my love of alternate universes and timelines. I love how everything is connected/weaves together and feels predestined in the best way. I’m a complete sucker for it
•arranged marriage or accidental marriage
Like @curly-bangtan I legit had no clue accidental marriage was a thing? Unless you count being drunk at Vegas and waking up with a ring or we’re on some Jacob and Leah/Rachel level ish (which is really and truly the WILDEST™️ story ever ya’ll) ..... but I love a good arranged marriage scenario. The tension/push pull and inevitable relenting is so fun. But will say though, why the heck do women always fight it? Like there’s literally a whole Kim taehyung or Kim Namjoon offering to voluntarily love you and you wanna whine about it???!?! How dare you
•high school romance or Middle Aged romance
This, again, one is a pretty firm, resolute one for me. I’ll take high school. I’ve always felt a little oddly uncomfortable with more mature™️ romance stories? Not sure why. But I think the really beautiful ones always hark back to the beauty of their feelings being refreshing like the innocence of their first love. I know I personally can over glorify youth, but I love coming of age romance (high school, college, twenties) and no one can stop me!!!! I will say though, I have a secret soft spot for the niche of story where people have loved the same person since they were young and the timing just never works out but they finally find each other when they’re older. (One day is like that, and film or movie, it will absolutely rip your heart out-my god, it’s beautiful)
•Time travel or isolated together
These are both freaking AMAZING! But if anything has been established in this post, I think it’s my deep love of alternate timeline/reincarnation/time travel stories. I think they’re all from the same cloth. I adore them (I just haven’t written one because I’m not sure I could do the subtlety of it any justice.) maybe one day. My favorite writers are rumored to have the same Myers’s Briggs type as me so maybe I too could someday have a fraction of their world building skill.
I 100% love both of these so neither is a loser. But give me isolated together AND one bed in the same fic???? Speakers blown
•neighbors or roommates
I have never had the pleasure of having an attractive neighbor, though I often pined for it. (I have a bomb idea for a neighbor Hobi fic though) I did have a cute neighborhood boy who occasionally cut the grass for us in high school. But that doesn’t really count.... anyway! I LOVE the idea of being roommates with an attractive boy!!! Like holy guac, can I please????? Cocktailing this trope makes me swoon harder than none other- best friends to lovers + roommates? Yes. Enemies to lovers + roommates? Holy heck. Soulmate au + roomates???? Hold my sweet tea. MUTUAL PINING AND ROOMATES!!!! Pregnant. Fantasy/magic au+ mutual pining + best friends to lovers + soulmate au + reincarnation + roommate au!?!?!?!! frickin dead in the streets, homie.
I cannot say enough how much I enjoy roomate au. In a serious conversation, I once legitimately told my current boyfriend that the idea of marriage freaks me out- but the idea of being best friend roomates with sexual tension sounds like a dream come true. God help me.
•sci fi or magic au
I love sci fi. Deeply. But I will never love logic more than magic. Ever. (All my infp’s! come join me in the comments. 🙈)
•body swap or gender bend
Body swap has always deeply intrigued me. Especially in film. But I’ve never seen it in a fic. I’ve always wanted somebody to be able to switch into my body to feel physically, mentally and emotionally like i do. The deepest level of empathy & jean grey telepathy if you ask me, even if the trope is generally used for comedy. But the idea of switching into a dudes body and having to deal with their anatomy low key freaks me the eff out. If I got stuck in jungkooks body, I don’t think I’d pee or shower for a week 🙈 sorry everybody. I was really sheltered ok? Please don’t come for me. Lol...... also, have never seen a gender bend fic. Not sure how that would work. Not my favorite idea.
•angst or crack
Angst is my crack.
Honestly though, if it’s well written, it doesn’t feel ‘angsty’- cuz that means whiny or clunky to me. Well written ‘angst’ just feels emotionally compelling, I think. My writing weirdly leans toward what I hope is real angst (I e solid, genuine conflict and not petulance), but when I seek out a read, I look for crack honestly.
• apocalyptic or mundane
I offer you one better- a love story of the beauty of the mundane amidst the apocalyptic.
*mic drop*
Seriously though, the setting provides enough tension usually. Especially if it’s zombie apocalyptic. Just let jungkook’s fingers delicately trace my palm and smile, sweet and lopsided at me in the candle light, while we hide away in our little bomb shelter that I’ve turned into a jungle garden to bring life into this wasteland a la secret life of arrietty. sigh. Maybe I need to write this....
My gosh!!! We made it to the end! That was so much fun! Thank you for tagging me, sweetness!💕✨ 🙂
I’ll add a tag list shortly- @laurelevermore @lamourche @bts-fantasy @urlocalkpoptrash @thedreaming-poet @kimcheeeeeeeeee @hayjeon @outrotearot7 @lorengarcia-yut @bts-luvvv @chicpalestinian @flyingchixenwing @glodenclosetau @space-mermaid-in-love @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife @minminslittlemonster
Copy and paste if you can. Or if you’re dealing with a piece of technological antiquity like me and it won’t let you, then screen record/screenshot it and pop back and forth between the tabs 😅(also Thanks for dealing with the completely unnecessary treatise I added beneath every bullet point. It was just so much for fun to explain WHY I chose each one than to just say yes/no. I’ve said it before, written brevity is just not my strong suit.)
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bazz-b · 4 years ago
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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.
First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.
MUN NAME: Thomas/Tom     AGE: +25       CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord
CHARACTER(S): Bazz-B, King Baraggan Louisenbairn, Kurosaki Ichigo, Ichibei Hyosube
CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach
BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have an ATLA and LOK AU for Bazz-B, but no Bleach AUs for external muses
MY LANGUAGE(S): Passable Japanese, Survivable Italian, Fluent English
THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. (what Bazz-B wants is reflected in italics)
PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.
ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.
CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.
PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.
IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.
ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.
DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (usually but I need to catch up at the moment)
HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. /DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY I
I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.
DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  
BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  You can IM me or send an ask, but the tumblr messaging systems SUCK so I encourage y’all to add me on discord and then just go ham. I’ll only turn down a plot if it’s OOC for Bazz-B, but otherwise I’ll usually try anything. If it’s not working out I’ll typically let you know, but I’m game for most things.
WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  Honestly, not a lot. You can be as invested or as chaotic as works for you. You get the urge to suddenly write a specific theme? Hit me with it. The urge goes and you lose interest, that’s fine. Four weeks later and the muse hits you again LETS DO THIS.
WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  I don’t typically struggle with this issue. If anything, I’m the lackluster end of the plotting side. I typically run things through Bazz-B as their happening, rarely looking forward. Unless there’s an overarching story we’re specifically working towards I’m pretty weak sauce. Sorry people!
HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I’ll typically propose an idea and then see where our muses take us. If my partner needs a rough road map, I’m happy to negotiate what we’d each like to see happen. Generally speaking I let Bazz-B take the wheel.
WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: If you want to drop a thread, I’m completely fine with it. The only reason I’d want to know is so I don’t start panicking and think that I forgot to reply you your latest response to it.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?:  If I lose the thread, or if I think it’s reach a natural conclusion. I don’t typically abandon one in the middle on purpose.
- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.
IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.
- AND WHY?: I don’t require a constant, nor deep level of communication, but it’s important to voice concerns. People tend to internalize problems until they become these big ordeals. A friendly message every now and again can save everyone a lot of drama later.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: I BEG for negative feedback. Even if you feel like your nitpicking, it’s the number one thing I crave from writing partners. Tell me what you dislike and I can work on it.
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.
WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: To tell a story. Bazz-B is my primary muse, and his entire tale is so interesting to me. The foundations of his identity are flawed and I want to explore that as much a I can, throw him into as many situations as possible and watch him evolve.
WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  My left arm for an entire roster of Sternritter, of course. Bazz-B and Liltotto surviving after the war. A reality where Bazz-B finds happiness and acceptance in himself. A healthy bond with a Shinigami. 
THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   I’ll not write rape, it’s understandably triggering for a lot of people and writing it glorifies it, I think. Also racism in a real world setting? I’ve come to terms with it in regards to Shinigami and Arrancar, but they’re fictional groups. I wont engage with it outside of that. Finally, trans-phobia. If a guy like Bazz-B doesn’t engage with that sort of vile nonsense, none of you should either.
WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Starters that provide a setting and a purpose are great. The sort of starter that turns it back at the recipient with something akin to “Why are you here” are confining. Also, if in the starter your muse is already pushing away mine.. Bazz-B might just nope outta there.
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  Despite my main muse being Bazz-B (or perhaps in favour of it) I typically write as old men cemented deeply in their ways. Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni, King Baraggan Louisenbairn and Ichibei Hyosube are just some examples. Bazz-B kinda fits the bill too.. I GUESS.
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  Cold, distant, dispassionate sorts. I could never write as the likes of Ishida, Ulquiorra, Haschwalth, etc. They’re all very nuanced characters, they just don’t mesh well with me. 
WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I typically respond lightning fast, my last two weeks or so a poor example of that. I’m passionate, you’ll not find another person so desperately in love with Bazz-B as this fool. I’m easy-going, you can take as long as you want and I’ll still be ready to rumble.
WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Tumblr confuses the hell out of me, I don’t understand a lot of lingo and the big CARDINAL LAWS of writing. I struggle with scene transitioning and limb placement, and my tags are a mess.
DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS.
DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.
- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?:  What I want and what Bazz-B want are wildly different things. This man is planting a flag in the middle of bonezone whether I agree or not. I commonly write smut because it’s what Bazz-B wants, but I prefer to do it for development.
- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  I am personally the most vanilla dude you’ll meet. I can google things but it might not translate very well.
ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO A characters growth should never be locked to a specific person, but exploring a character in isolation can only get you so far. As people, we grow from one another. Romance is a key factor in formulating a person’s ideals, but that’s no the only form of ship. The eventual friendship between Bazz-B and Liltotto and Giselle is one of the most interesting things to me. A romance surviving Silbern is incredibly powerful in my opinion. The bond of a teacher and a student. There are so many situations that force a character to change how they would typically react.
WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?:  YES / NO. More and more I’ve been thinking that I’ve been writing Bazz-B in more ships, but that is not the blog’s focus. Ultimately I’m exploring the character of Bazz-B, and that just happens to be inclusive of ships. Some of my most active writing partners also happen to be muses that Bazz-B has excitedly/begrudgingly/unexpectedly fallen for.
DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.
ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.
 - WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Individuals who challenge Bazz-B, who force him to rise above what he is, what he thinks he should be. Who tear down complacency and demand better of him in all ways. Whether overtly, intentionally, whatever! 
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - If you come to me and sell me a story, I’m in. I’m easily swayed by visual art, written lyrics (my ears don’t work so good with music for some reason) and themes.
► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.
- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: Bazz-B is a fun guy to taunt, and to cause havoc with. But he’s more than just a hothead, you can read any one of my many rants if you wanna find out about that. With a plot to kill God spanning 1000 years, a burning fury and misguided ideals dragged through the mud of “the lesser of two evils”, he’s a real party trick.
- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who, from the start, wish to disengage with Bazz-B. I understand it might be in character, but both Bazz-B and I are gonna struggle to engage if there’s not some allowances made.
- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  His ultimate goal is the death of Yhwach. In a perfect world that would coexist with a Quincy victory over the Shinigami, vengeance for genocide. But he’ll take the former over the latter.
- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Style, first and foremost. If a Quincy had modified their Wandenreich uniform he’s gonna take notice and make some judgement calls. The rest comes after.
- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Honesty to themselves, and a drive to survive. Not to be buried by what’s expected of them, or what they should do. Free will is one of the fundamental truths of the world.
- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Motorbikes, Pop-culture, Fashion, Movies, Himself.
- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  History, loyalty beyond all else, the importance of leadership and hierarchy, lectures of all kinds.
- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  His family was burned alive by the man who claimed to be their God. Entering a war on the losing side, his kind facing extinction. Hiding in the shadows, surrounded by a extremist military cult.
- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  After a certain point in his life, it’s really only Hollows that should fear indiscriminate murder. Unless you threaten his fragile peace, or claim Yhwach was just.
- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Bazz-B hates Hollows, and any Quincy loyalists that stand by Yhwach post-Aushwalen. Anyone who saw the true colors of their progenitor and still deluded themselves into thinking him right.. it’s disgusting.
IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Stoke his ego and you’re usually set for a good few hours.
SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Nothing you cant already find on one of my many ramblings about that greatest Quincy that every lived, Bazzard ‘Bazz-B’ Black!
CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥
Tagged by:  @equipollency (I got a phantom notification so I rolled with it)
Tagging: @diepower + @zombiequincy + @verzinken + @cheonsaaui + @bleachsthetic + @senboago + any other quincy reading this
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joonietonin · 5 years ago
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Open Heart Book 1 Finale Rant:
Let me start by saying that this will probably be one of my last analytical posts for a while. That makes me a little sad but I'm also very grateful to all of you who read my posts and motivated me to keep on writing. Truly, I had the time of my life writing the analyses. Now, this post was getting too long so I chopped it off I two parts- this one which is a general recap and my comment on the chapter and another one which I will be posting later today which will be purely about Ethan and MC's relationship. So y'all are looking at a LOT of content to read, I'm apologizing before hand! Okay no more sad talk except the evident fact that today was Open Heart Book 1 finale. Which means we'll have to live without Ethan Ramsey and the squad for quite some time. But focusing on the better things today:
The finale was everything! I felt a wave of emotions as I played it. I felt joy, triumph, anger, passion and hope all at the same time. Let's talk about what happened. (My MC is female, pronouns: she/her) So, Declan (or should I say Dick-lan) Nash had quite a few tricks up his sleeve huh, getting Dr. Cyrus and Dr. Wen to wager for him, lol, he really underestimated MC and the team of people backing her up.
I think it was a group effort when it comes to saving MC's career where MC of course deserves maximum of the credit because of all the patients who testified (Willow, Remy, Jake and Annie for me) on her behalf- if she hadn't gone above and beyond for her patients they wouldn't have given such honest and positive statements on her behalf. So props to MC, first! Then, props to the amazing friends MC has.. Sienna, Elijah, Rafael, Jackie, Bryce.. I mean those guys are basically her support system. Without them hyping her up and motivating her, her case would've fallen flat. Also, we can't forget Ines and Zaid, they're polar opposites and have weird ways of showing their love for MC but they've always been there for her. (even Zaid lmao ikr he's a total softie at heart) And most importantly, her friends always stood up for her. So here's to MC's friends!
Next up, to Ethan Ramsey (the light of MC's/my life) who really did not disappoint when he said he wasn't out of tricks. This man really went above and beyond to get hold of Mrs. Martinez's son and show him how happy his mother was before she passed away. Even if Ethan wasn't your LI and was just your mentor, he kind of singlehandedly saved MC from the potential lawsuit. It shows how much he cares about her, romantically or otherwise. He thinks MC is one of the best doctors he has ever seen and he did everything in his power to make sure, MC could be the doctor she has always wanted to be. That man cares for MC and even though he won't say it explicitly, his actions do much more than his words ever could. Therefore, Ethan Jonah Ramsey, the light of my life, here's to you. The man who cares for MC beyond all words. Even when MC herself has accepted that Ethan won't be able to help her out, Ethan kept pushing himself to find some loophole so that he could help her. And he did exactly that. That's why, I stan one (1) man.😌🥂
Next up, of course, is my moody baby yet smol bean Aurora Emery. She had her own way of standing up for MC. Like she said, "That wasn't for you, MC. That was for me." Maybe her intentions were to stand up for herself but doing so, in the process, she stood up for MC and finally knocked some sense into Harper Emery. I think her whole rant to Harper is one of the major reasons why Harper voted for MC to stay. So thanks, Aurora. Here's looking forward to actually being friends with her... or more. *wink*
Last but not the least, we have *drumrolls please* Dr. Naveen Banerji, who is now miraculously cured by MC's brilliant epiphany and Ethan's genius mind. I kinda expected Naveen to enter at the last moment but when he actually did, I swear I squealed like a five year old as if I hadn't been reading all the theories all week round about him walking in at the last moment. Anyways, I love that old man with my whole damn heart. He's literally like a father to MC like he's to Ethan. A grandmentor, if you will. And just like MC saved his life, he in turn saved MC's life=career. We've reached a full circle, my friends. So here's to you Naveen, nay the force be with you. (Y'all see what I did there? No? Okay, why do I try to be funny...)
So, basically Landry is gone. FOR GOOD. I'm glad PB didn't force a redemption arc on us. While I'm happy that Landry brought Naveen down, I don't think that one action forgives all the terrible things he has done. So bye bye dirty Laundry, here's hoping I never see you again. Also YAY! AURORA IS OUR NEW ROOMMATE. Not confirmed yet, but y'all know she'll say yes. Sienna has a crush on Danny- YAS OTP. But I do realise that we'll probably have to pay diamonds to set them up next book. Elijah and Phoebe going strong- YAS ANOTHER OTP. Jackie finally admitting defeat that MC would probably win the competition - HELL YAS, now that was a good redemption arc. Overall, I'm very happy how the things turned out for MC's friends.
Now, like I said at the starting of the post, I'll talk about Ethan and MC in detail in my next post but to sum it up, Ethan and MC had mind-blowing sex one last time before they had to face the reality of their situation. Now, I don't necessarily think they're back to square one because let's be real, you clearly care about the other person, you've had sex with them and you kiss them like there's no tomorrow, you can't really expect for nothing to happen even in a professional setting. Like, I do respect MC and Ethan's commitment to their job but then I think they can find some time for themselves.. you know.. for talking.. and dating.. and doing other things. Also, MC's friends finding out about her and Ethan- THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING I EVER HOPED FOR. Also, Naveen choosing MC for the position in the diagnostics team was already foreshadowed but I swear that man is the biggest Ethan×MC shipper. He's here for the angst, the mutual pining and he's sure as hell gonna enjoy how long these two struggle before finally giving in. Anyways, I won't lie but even though I'm a little sad that MC and Ethan aren't (officially) a couple, (we all know they've been married for over a year now) I think it will be nice to see the angst and this new phase of their relationship where MC directly works under Ethan and he gets to mentor her even more closely. It will be fun to see their mutual pining now that they've finally pulled the plug and had sex and kind of fallen in love with each other. The angst will be great and like I said earlier, along with Naveen it will be fun for us to see how long these two struggle before they finally give in and say,"Fuck work ethics. Adrian Raines knew better."
So, that's the end of this rant. The Ethan×MC post will be up soon. I want it to be special, like Ethan once said. And here's hoping they release book two soon although rationally speaking I don't see the book coming this summer. It'll probably release in fall. Guess we gotta wait, but some things are simply worth the wait. And I guess, we're all fighting the inevitable. *wink*
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slothgiirl · 5 years ago
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shadowplay ch 2 (alex turner x reader)
Your phone rings, vibrating on the sette while you try and decide what to order for dinner. 
Work had run late and you had really just wanted to finish to jacket tonight and not have to pick up where you left off tomorrow. Not expecting any calls, you hit ignore and decide on chinese. Fried rice and pot stickers sounding heavenly. 
Your phone rings again and you decide to answer just to see who could be calling you. 
It can't be work. And your friends would've texted you. 
"Hello," you answer. If it's some telemarketer you can always hang up. 
"It's Alex." 
"Who?" You don't know anyone named Alex. 
"ugh you pretended to be be my girlfriend that one time," he trails off. 
"Oh yeah. Sorry my brains at like half charge right now."
"Long day at work," Alex asks. 
"Basically," you answer, "my hands are beyond cramped. You know you could've texted. Who calls anymore?"
"If I can't do something face to face," he counters, "callings the next best thing."
"Okay grandpa."
"I just wanted to well. . .ask if you would mind much doing it again." He pauses as if working up the courage to say the words. Taking so long I think he might have hung up. "Pretending to be my girlfriend that is."
"What happened," you can't help but asks, already wondering what kind of situation he got himself into. 
"Arielle sort of told some mutual friends and now. . ."
"Your friends think we're dating."
"Exactly," Alex finishes. 
"You could just come clean. No shame in that." Though the idea of seeing him again alone is worth considering faking a relationship. 
"Yes," he protests, "it's embarrassing. Arielle's getting married and I pretended I have a girlfriend. I 'fink I'd 'ave to live under a rock after that."
"Are you free right now?"
"Why," Alex asks.
"So we can talk things through. Oh and can you pick up food on the way. That'll save me the delivery fee."
"So you'll do it Love," sounding so hopeful you almost say yes on the spot. 
"Well what's in it for me?"
Alex snorts, "I'll grab you dinner or something. Anything you want for saving my bloody arse." 
"Well like I said, you can start by picking up dinner." You give him your address. 
A small flat at the top of some old building with a tiny balcony that was the main attraction. You had been looking at houses but had yet to find something in your range and one that you also wanted. So here you still were. 
You buzz Alex in, looking dapper in blue jeans and a strokes shirt with a different leather jacket on. This time sans glasses. 
"Thank you so much," you tell him as you unpack the food onto your coffee table, but not before making sure he takes off his leather boots with more of a heel than you could walk in. 
"No problem love," Alex says with a smile, "least I could do right." 
"Your learning."
He chuckles, taking a seat next to you on the sette. The great british bake off plays, an old episode. You haven't paid enough attention to know what's going on. 
"So. . ."
"Yes Al," you grin playfully. 
"Would you like to be my fake girlfriend?"
"Not until you explain what's actually going on."
He ducks his head as you start on the fried rice. Shoving forkfuls into your mouth without a care about how you look. Lunch seems to have been ages ago for how hungry you feel now. 
"Like I said over the phone. Arielle told a bunch of our friends and now Jaime invited us over and I said yes. And now I can't just fess up."
"You could though," you note, offering him a fork too. 
"I'd look so bloody pathetic."
"So if we were to do this," you ask carefully, not meeting his eyes, wondering what you were getting yourself into. But as the weird girl in college with only one good friend, you knew a thing or two about being embarrassed. And it sounds amusing. 
Not to mention Alex is beyond hot. 
He sighs, relieved. "It's just be once or twice. Then we break up and no one ever has to be wiser."
You sit up straighter, studying Alex. His well defined bone structure, his expressive brown eyes, and the way he couldn't quite meet your eyes, unsure as you felt about the whole thing. He looked like a proper douche with all the hair gel and habit for wearing sunnies when the sun had gone down, but you'd enjoyed talking to him. 
You still can't imagine it being hard for him to get a girl. And yet here he was. "Alright. I'm game if only because I think this whole thing is ridiculous. They're your friends. Not to mention I'm such a nice person." 
Alex laughs, which has you smiling hard enough that your cheeks hurt and for once not caring that it might look weird, might make your face look fat. 
"Oh thank god I was about ready to book a flight to LA and pretend I had work or something along those lines."
"I wish I could do that whenever I didn't want to deal with my aunt. My cousin got married last summer and now everyones looking at me every time we get together. I'm twenty six. Practically a child bride!"
It makes Alex laugh again. 
"If we're going to do this though," you tell him, opening up a fortune cookie, "we have to like establish details and have our story straight. Like I still don't know what you do. That'll raise eyebrows."
"True enough," Alex acknowledges. "I can already tell you'll be the smart one in this relationship."
You snort. "Tell that to my maths teacher."
"I was thinking, we've only been seeing each other for a weeks. I've flying back and forth quite a bit. It adds up," he states casually, like people just flew back and forth from one home to another all the time. "Haven't told anyone because we we seeing where this was going."
"Makes sense. So where did we meet? Musicians are supposed to be creative aren't they?"
"Are you really going to make me come up with everything by myself love?"
You roll your eyes, "I really should stop getting take out. It's bad for the planet but I'm so out of it after work."
"How about you tailored some clothes I needed fixin'," he suggests with a dangerously flirty grin. 
"That's so unprofessional Al," you protest, "I'd get into so much trouble for something like that."
"Which is exactly what you said when I asked you out," he continues, looking gleeful as the whole scenario plays out in his head, "but I was persistent. And said I'd never be a customer again if you'd give me a chance."
"And you pouted so much I just couldn't say not to that face," you add with a giggle. "I work at Hargreeves by the way. Mostly suiting through there are quite a few dressmakers there too."
"I have a little band called the Arctic Monkeys," Alex offers, watching you carefully. 
You shrug, "never heard of them."
"The last shadow puppets too," he adds, still studying your reaction carefully.
"You any good?"
"We're signed love so I 'fink we're doing all right."
"I don't think you're being a reliable source Al," you note, googling Arctic Monkeys instead. "much too humble."
"I'd sound like a twat otherwise."
Your eyes widen at the number of results and articles right off the bat. "doing all right my arse! You're bloody famous!"
"Only a little," Alex protests, running a hand through his hair, pink dusting his cheeks. 
You tell him about going to trade school and your apprenticeship  "Something right out of the devil wears prada! Kept pricking my fingers so badly!" Your friend Sam who does dresswear and complains about how, "everyone wants the same boring sillouttes! Can you believe dropping ten thousand pounds on a dress you could get at Harrods!" 
He tells you about growing up in Sheffield, about his band mates and old friends who have all gotten together or married by now, about his love for the strokes and Miles Kane. 
Alex talks about moving to New York for a girl, about moving to Los Angeles for a different girl. "I guess I'm a romantic at heart," he confesses. 
You blab about wanting to work for an Atilier like Valentino and how you still feel weird about spending money on things like a Chanel bag though you can justify it. About devouring magazines while your mum shopped. 
It had been that initial love for fashion and your grandmothers own seamstress skills that had led your down the path you'd taken. "Poshmark is bad for the environment and the clothes don't even hold up," you ranted. 
Old clothes done by hand had lasted much longer and there was something about making things. "It was always just fun to design something and then see it come together through I nicked myself a lot and my mum made sure I finished my assignments before spending hours in my room." 
Alex asks you about your taste in music which is, "hasn't really changed since college I mean Britney spears still slaps and who doesn't love the spice girls." 
Your shamelessness has him laughing again."I mean your not wrong about the spice girls love."
It's past ten when he finally makes to leave. "So next week at Jaime's," Alex asks once more, worried you might have changed your mind. 
"Yes. Text me the details. Or I guess call if that's more comfortable for you." 
He smiles, resting against the doorway, looking down at you with his soft brown eyes. "Can I kiss you? For practice I mean. . .they'll be expecting us too. . ." 
If you let him go on, it might take two years for him to get to the point and you've already set boundaries. Hand holding, hugging, all the typical couple stuff except for sitting in his lap. 
That was too much for you. A kiss here and there for believability but obviously you wouldn't be making out in public. 
Or at least, if this was real you wouldn’t go overboard in public so there was no reason to with him. 
So you kiss him on his lips, light and quick, just a goodbye kiss. And send him off.
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softforcal · 6 years ago
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hiii
hello! these types of questions are great don’t worry! everyones different but yeah, let me tell you about my writing process :) (this is a long ass writing rant and hopefully it’s helpful)
so for headcanons tbh, i just write them. like. i sit down and write it all in one go and tbh not much thought goes into them there isnt really a plot it’s just notes practically so headcanons for me are not difficult at all. fics/oneshots are where things actually heat up.
so for my fics i do note form outlines. what this means is i have all the major things that have to happen already lined out. i put it on a word doc on half my screen and the fic on the other and there’s no plan on how to get to each note point but i know i have to get there somehow, but having basic goals makes it easier for me.
when it comes to fics there’s usually a brainstorming process. i have two wonderful amazing loves of my absolute life @hereforlukescruff and @glitterprincelu and usually it will start with me saying an idea and we all just kind of start shooting ideas and bouncing off of each other. this process can take hours. like. i remember when i came up with gang luke (penumbra) i was in class and we ended up chatting about it for 3 hours and coming up with shit. when the main brainstorm is done i plot it all out. i have a few ocd tendencies, one of which is linear stuff means a lot to me. like i can’t start a fic at the end. i need to start at the start. so i’ll plan as much as i can but sometimes i stop at the middle and i re-evaluate once i get there and have a better sense as to where the story is going.
for me, characters are huge. like. i have the plot points but characters drive everything else. so i’ll often have a sit down and reevaluate what has happened to them and how they’re feeling and see if it’s all making sense for them, but, because i brainstorm a lot, usually i don’t end up changing much. strong characters are key my dudes. 
my biggest motivator to get to the end of the story is well, the characters. i love them so much and writing for them feels so comforting to me. LOVE YOUR CHARACTERS. but also. something ya’ll gotta understand about me is that i’ve been writing fan fiction for 8 years. i’ve probably spent an average of 2 hours a day (and that’s seriously low balling it) so thats 2x365=730x8=5840 hours that i’ve written and that’s probably too low to be accurate. so i’m a writer. i type fast as fuck and i’ve been doing this a while so writing comes very easy to me, ideas are constantly flowing. this is legit what im pursuing as a job so don’t be discouraged if you can’t write 10k in a day like I do because... well, i’ve had a fuck ton of practice. writing 10k in a day is pretty common for me i’d say, once i sit down with a oneshot i don’t want to leave until it’s done.
but. i also again, have a bit of an ocd thing and when it’s paired with anxiety, it makes it hard for me to stop. i need to get things done. to check stuff off my list. or i get bored. if i leave a fic for even a day or two, it’s likely i’m not gonna finish it. so for me, and i know this, its important to wait until i have a sufficient amount of time to bust something out and a plan makes it so easy because i don’t have to stop and ask myself “okay now what”
what more can i say about writing.... uh... characters. so important. dialogue. key. 
like i’ll start a fic with a general idea about an OC but as the fic continues they grow and i really enjoy watching them grow. i think a good rule of thumb if you’re having troubles with this is immerse the story view point in the most solid character you have (i’ll give an example of this in a moment) and use their perspective and musings on a different character, like what they notice, to promote growth.
example of what i mean when i say this. i recently wrote prince cal and from the start, he was my strong character. Ostara was new, she’s ashton’s sister, she’s back for the first time in a while. the very first paragraph establishes that calum is taken aback by how much she’s changed. there’s still some similarities to how she was growing up and i weave that comfort of the known throughout the story (with things like chicken fights in the pool or musing about how they used to play hide and seek as kids) but from the start, Calum is knocked off his feet by how beautiful she’s gotten and that’s a very obvious symbol of change, not just outside but in. so as the fic continues calum notices things about ostara. for example. the second time i wrote she was wearing a print of some sort, calum and i both mutually realized, ‘huh. she likes prints i guess.’ because ostara is ostara, i dont control her, in my brain she’s her own person, she’s dictating whats happening and baby just likes prints. and calum notices which says something about him, but its also little details like that that bring these characters to life. 
i mean. i don’t know how other people write characters. my characters are always alive to me. they have their own voice and knowing their reaction to things is second nature to me. but this can be attributed to the fact that i legit wrote fan fiction about actual characters (MCU, TVD, Teen Wolf, etc...) for 6 years and being able to step into those characters and do dialogue that seemed legit was the most important thing for me. so i have a FUCK TON of experience on characters. so once again, if its hard for you to step into your characters thats okay. maybe do those things where you have a fill in the blank sheet on whats their fav food, their fav colour, do they like summer or winter? etc....
i think there isnt one way to write. i think i’m blessed that i’ve ALWAYS been a writer. since i was like 4. you know in elementary when they made you write and they’d give you those little booklets and shit? other kids had like one or two at most but this whore was always on book number 6 or 7 like, im a writer. it’s what i am. it always has been what i am. 
im also a multitasker. so most of my writing is done while watching shows. which means its a double whammy for me. like. im learning about characters and plot WHILE writing so... as you can see, i’m hard core as fuck about this shit. 
my point is. my process is a process that i think is pretty particular to me. most people i know cant watch tv and write at the same time. most people don’t sit down and bust out 10k in one sitting. and thats fine. if you enjoy writing then do it. focus on what you can be doing better, this isnt a competition. at the end of the day, the only person you should be trying to be better than is the person you were yesterday, or last week, you know?
find people who are creatively inclined because holy shit it makes a huge difference. bouncing ideas off of supportive people is really important. without my friends, Birdie in Penumbra might be named Cherry, the Gang AU wouldn’t have an ending all planned out and ready to be written, and i would have missed out on so many hours of face time calls and back and fourth messages with two of the most important people in my life right now. 
so lets break down what the fuck i’m even saying
-find supportive people (but it’s important you support them as well. if they’re gonna let you throw ideas at them and help you out and pump you up, reciprocate hoe)
-focus on yourself 
-find what you’re good at. plots? characters? dialogue?
-find ways to strengthen the things you’re not so good at (character fill in sheets, plot planning, etc...)
-find what, at the end of the day, really works for you
-don’t put pressure on yourself. writing is for fun. it should be fun. and if it is fun, i think motivation will come easy? but i could be wrong, once again, i have an addictive personality and writing is a fix i need every day or i go insane. 
yeah. if ya’ll have any more writing questions let me know. i love answering these because i think it’s so interesting to really look at the process :) 
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sasslightertm-a · 5 years ago
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ooookay, so, some bullshit™ happened earlier this past week and I’m annoyed and pissed. incoming rant/vent under the cut (with screenshots used by permission).
As most of you who have been following me long enough probably know by now, there is a Charmed Discord server and I was in it for a while until I left in early January 2019, for reasons that will be discussed later. The main mod runs a few Charmed rp blogs here on Tumblr, we did have a few threads planned out together, and eventually after I left the Discord server it got to a point where I felt uncomfortable seeing her posts on my dash so I quietly unfollowed and deleted our thread I’d had in my drafts (which had been sitting there for months by this point anyway because I am slow af). Shortly after I unfollwed her, she unfollowed me without so much a message of “Would you be interested in continuing any threads?”.
This mod, while I was in the server, also created a venting/ranting group Google doc against another Charmed roleplayer who has been around for years and had been in the server as well but also left for much the same reasons I later did (namely, feeling unwelcome within the server). (The Google doc has since been deleted, I believe.)
Which brings me to the main point of this post. One of my close friends/mutuals noticed this mod and the roleplayer starting to interact again when both of them had unfollowed each other for months beforehand after the mod decided this roleplayer was Toxic™.
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Uh-huh, sure, I find it very hard to believe you told her about the call-out Google doc and everything in it and she was perfectly understanding about it. I also have yet to hear an apology at all from this mun when 1) the most we would do is talk OOC anyway; 2) my Chris and Bilie were constantly ignored despite me showing interest in some of her wishlist ideas; and 3) any threads we did have would only get two replies in if I was lucky and were then dropped. So I unfollowed ages ago and moved on with other mutuals, and at this point it’s honestly not worth it.
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And no, sorry, the server was not inactive when I left it back in early/mid January. Everyone was either in the general, headcanons, or venting channels And yes, any time anyone responded to me it was because I or my friend had said something they wanted to argue with or turn into a headcanon about their own next-generation muses. Also? For all y’all would squee over white US-American YouTuber cover artists or Korean boybands (despite none of you speaking a word of Korean), or the mod occasionally slipping into Arabic and then translating when one of us would ‘???’, the instant I try and share a cover by an amazing Turkish musical-theater singer who speaks German and does German-language musicals (said cover was in English, by the way), or the instant I would talk about something I learned in one of my German classes (despite most of my ancestry being, y’know, German [and for the record, said German ancestors came over to the States in the 1800s, so don’t even go there])... dead silence. 
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1) oh my gods I’m howling. Thanks for admitting most of the people in the server hate me just because they found my fanfiction and that I like to write dark-themed fics and smut. Out of curiosity, was it one of my FF.net accounts (my main, my Charmed-fic-centric one, or my dark!AU Tenth Doctor-fic-centric one) or was it my AO3? (Also way to go for basically admitting that yup, you’re all a bunch of antis and really be drinking the evangelical fundamentalist Christian purity culture Kool-Aid.)
and btw, saying “complete transparency?” like that is just code for “I’m about to be a petty bitch and you’re not going to want to hear it, but too late.”
also, what, like none of you have ever wanted to write kinky smutty fanfic just because it’s fun and lets you work out various fantasies that may or may not be inherently transgressive? as far as I’m aware I was one of maybe two other people in that server who identify as asexual so don’t even try and say any of youse are sex-repulsed aces.
my smutfic isn’t even that kinky, but go off, I guess
tbh they also probably hate me bc I called them out over their misuse of the word “pedophilia” in regards to this one particular scene in a teen drama TV show between fictional teenage characters being portrayed by adult actors that airs on a network aiming for a 18 to 49-year-old demographic, and the mod and I would disagree over various things concerning US-American Wicca, but hey, it’s easier to just go after my fanfiction and say they hate me because of the fanfics, right?
speaking of that scene they were so up-in-arms about, don’t even try and tell me real-life allosexual teenagers are not horny and don’t have sex with other teenagers, because coming from a state with one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy (where more often than not both would-be parents are teenagers of or around the same age), I will not believe you
like, seriously, do NONE of you remember ever being horny and hormonal as a teenager, or...? 
2) Stop trying to make this an argument that needs to be won, because it isn’t. Also? By the time I left the Charmed Discord server didn’t even feel like a Charmed server anyway, so. There’s that.
3) My friend is right and she should say it.
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A few things here: 
How does any of that sound accusatory when it’s true and my friend calmly laying out how she felt about the situation??
Again, stop trying to make this into an argument or personal attack because it isn’t. And not every single conversation is a debate that needs to be won.
“I was half joking”, uh-huh, yeah, riiiiight. Also? How is it any of your business how she decides to run her blog and curtail it so she feels safe on her own dash??? Especially when you don’t even follow or interact with her anymore?? Hell, I softblock people myself who are either inactive and just taking up my follower account, or are personal/fandom blogs who I just don’t want interacting with me. And if you follow me but don’t make any motion to interact, then yeah I’m probably going to softblock you too after posting a heads-up that I’ll be cleaning out my follower count.
And the best part??? Immediately after all this the mod/mun made a post on her blog saying how she doesn’t put up with passive-aggressiveness or manipulation. How the fuck is my friend/mutual being passive-aggressive or manipulative???? 
I’m sorry, but no, you do not get to do that. I see what you did there, and it is not okay. And I am glad I don’t have to deal with any of this mun’s bullshit anymore, or most of the people in the server, apparently. They blocked me solely because they found my kinky darkfic? Fine, great, it’s not like any of them ever interacted with any of my muses anyway and I don’t want to deal with them either. (But also... I made it clear on the server that I also write a dark eldritch!AU Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who and they all knew I have a sideblog for the canon evil version of Chris Halliwell so how exactly was it a surprise that I like writing fanfiction with darker themes and grey areas?)
Anyway, no, that language used on my friend was not called for at all. Neither was trying to make her out to be the aggressor when anyone who’s chatted with her OOC for long enough knows that even doing this much is hard emotionally for her. This was also not an argument that absolutely had to be won so quit trying to turn everything into an argument to make yourself look better. And ooh, boy, tone policing on top of that. That last response was classic “I know you’re right but I don’t want to admit it so I’m just gonna say something to make myself look like I came out on top.”
Nah. 
There’s the door. Make sure it hits you on the way out.
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