#it has been 17 days since i last posted whoops

[crumbsispoggers]

Some art of the mother spore from the DDVAU! I love mother spore designs and have actually done too many to count myself, so yeah! the comic is great check it out!!!!!!

DDVAU is an au made by @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 , check them out! they have cool art!

[bluejaybytes]

like idk their personality what they look like their motives/views? I'm just curious lol

So, first things first. Shockingly, I've actually posted... basically all of my recent art! I normally RARELY post my art on Tumblr, but I've bene in a sharing mood as of late and have been posting things only a few hours after I finish them, so there's honestly... not much new I can post since the only thing that hasn't been posted is a WIP that I'm already planning on posting when it's done (And it is Not in a state I'm ready to post it lol). THAT SAID! I'm gonna talk about Scarlet because she's got art I haven't posted here before <3 Everything's below the cut, because I anticipate this being... very long and rambly. Whoops lol <3

(Note: I put this in a word counter after writing it. It's over 2.3k words. Apologies for being unable to write in anything shorter than an essay)

Normally I don't post anything that's not completely finished, and while the "main" drawing of her is finished in the sense I'm not going back to add to it further, it hasn't been properly colored or lined, it's just cleaned up sketches, so I haven't posted it before. It's a good few months old and it shows, but it's honestly fine lol. The icon is from earlier this week however, I just typically don't post the icons on their own, since I've made a ton of them and also showed them off in the relationship web I posted last week (Which honestly I will probably post again once a few more OCs have their icons made and added properly)

Scarlet's from the Octarian domes, specifically one that hosts a decently large amount of residential areas, and has two younger sisters, Crimson and Ruby. Scarlet's around ~24, Crimson's ~21, and Ruby's ~17, and they're all quite close growing up, with Scarlet very much embracing her role as the oldest of the bunch and always sticking by them. In fact, it's her desire to be close with her sisters that essentially ends what was a promising career as a weapons engineer for her early. Weapons engineering is a very prestigious role, and Scarlet's both incredibly interested in it and also genuinely very good at it, but due to how highly it's regarded, it also means she'd be unable to be around her sisters anymore, as she'd be too busy with training and working in other domes and with other engineers, so she ends up leaving weapons engineering behind, and instead just trains as a regular soldier.

Even with her staying in a more average position, she's still very talented, and she fairly quickly ascends through the ranks and ends up as an Elite and assigned her own squad to lead, stationed out in the outskirts of the dome she grew up in. Despite her rank as an Elite however, she keeps the traditional red coloration that's typically only for lower ranked soldiers, both as it's a shared family color, and her squad all respect her enough that she doesn't feel she needs to conform very strictly to the hierarchy for colors to have them recognize her as in charge.

Through her own request, Crimson, who's just a regular soldier, is part of her squad, and while their job is considered very important, as they guard the exits between the domes and the surface, it's still... very boring. There's really nothing around, and most of their days are just... patrolling, finding nothing, going back to camp. It's a very soulsucking job for her in all honesty, a lot of the glamor that draws people in to the military life is just... nonexistent. It's miserable and she's achieving nothing. She stays where she is, she wants to be there with Crimson, and she gets to stay, while not really... in contact with Ruby, as there's no cell service all the way out where they are, but close enough to Ruby that if there was some family emergency, she'd be able to get home quickly to be there with her. At this point, she's just counting the days until she's able to quit, or at the very least, take an extended break to go back home and feel like a person again.

It's on one of her patrols, however, that she ends up running into May. She'd gotten the command to stay alert for some teenage runaways that'd escaped police capture a few months prior, but, unbeknownst to her, May was one of them. While she'd never really known May specifically, she'd been the childhood best friend of Ruby, so Scarlet knew her from all the time that Ruby had spent with her, and all that she talked of her. She'd already been feeling miserable and disillusioned with her life as a soldier at this point, and the realization that this fugitive she'd been keeping an eye out for was a kid she personally knows, and knows wouldn't be a runaway for no reason, is just another moment of question for her.

May doesn't really recognize her at first, with it having been years since Scarlet had actually been home, but once Scarlet calls her by name, May remembers her, and pleads to not be taken back home. Scarlet, while not knowing her exact motives for running away, definitely empathizes in that moment, as someone who's tired of the miserable state they're living in, and she also just can't sit idly by watching a homeless teen beg to be given even the slightest mercy. She tells May she's not going to turn her in, and instead invites her to sit down and just talk with her. Neither have had any new company in months at this point, so she figures it'll benefit them both.

Their conversation goes well, and while May isn't willing to talk about the circumstances that've lead to her being on the run, they both are very clearly able to recognize themselves in each other. In the end, Scarlet knows she can't just let a homeless teen go hungry, and tells May to meet her out there the next day at the same time, and that she'll give her some of her rations for that day to hopefully help out a bit. May's still a little unsure, especially since she doesn't like to stay in one place for too long, as well as the fact she's still trying to find her way to the surface, but she's not really in a position where she feels she can deny a safe, reliable food source, so she agrees.

It's, of course, at their next meeting that Scarlet notices May barely picking at the food she's brought. It's at this point Scarlet realizes that May's not just one of the runaways she'd heard about, but that she's the one who's known to be traveling with a kid. May hadn't wanted to actually talk about it before, as her little sister, June, stays behind at their temporary camp for her own safety while May goes out scavenging for food and looking for a way out, but this only further pushes Scarlet into wanting to help her. She already felt like she had a moral obligation to help May before, but now knowing she's also got a kid with her means Scarlet absolutely can not and will not let them go without her help, at least as much as she can offer.

Scarlet ends up going from giving half of her own days food rations, to stealing from the food supply, as well as grabbing some spare clothes, to make sure May and June have enough to eat and take care of themselves a bit better than they were before. Ultimately, her squad can always request more supplies, but May and June aren't in a position to help themselves like she can. This, however, does not go unnoticed. Her squad notices the lessened rations, and ask her what she thinks is happening. She insists it must be a sea slug, or at least some kind of animal that got into their food supplies, it's happened before, it's fine, they can just go ask for backup, don't worry about it. For the most part, her squad accepts her dismissal of the topic. They do find it weird, but ultimately, Scarlet has never been one to do anything like this before, and the long time away from home has been weighing on everyone, so it's most likely just stress getting to her.

Crimson notices, though. She also notices Scarlet's retreat from their usual nightly chats, instead opting to go on "destress walks", or "extra patrols", excuses varying from night to night. Scarlet's dismissal of the issue, her increasing time spent away from camp, and her lessened time spent with her all eventually push Crimson into stalking her on one of her times out of camp, and watches from a distance as Scarlet actively betrays her squad and her duties as a soldier to hide, feed, and protect a fugitive runaway. Crimson absolutely loses it, jumping out from her hiding place and revealing herself to have seen everything, and tells Scarlet she needs to hand May over now. Scarlet just can't do it. She hesitates before telling Crimson she won't, not because she's hesitating in her decision, but because she's scared of admitting it. She doesn't want to live this life, where a scared, homeless teenager and her little sister are expected to instantly be arrested and turned in, where they guard the exit to somewhere they're constantly told is hostile to them, yet have spent all of this time and never seen a proper enemy soldier. She's not going to turn May in for the crime of wanting to leave. And then Crimson attacks her

Scarlet wasn't sure how Crimson was going to react, but it certainly wasn't what she was expecting, as Crimson ends up pulling out a pocket knife she'd been carrying, and fully intends to seriously harm her. Scarlet's caught entirely off guard, and the fight goes very poorly for her, especially considering Scarlet's only weapon was an Octo Shot she didn't have ready, and even if she did, she doesn't want to attack her little sister. Eventually she's able to muster the strength to attack back enough that she gets Crimson off of her, and down long enough for her to take off running. May had bolted the moment the fight broke out, and Scarlet has no idea where she ran off to, but she knows her way out of the domes, having been patrolling the outskirts for this long

It's still over a days walk to the exit before Scarlet is far enough out from her camp that she feels safe enough that she can stop, and really assess the damage Crimson did to her. She's lucky in the sense she'd been carrying some basic first aid supplies on her when everything happened, she always liked having it on her just in case one of her squadmates needed it, but it ends up being enough to prevent her from getting any of her wounds infected. However, the damage is still fairly bad, even if she's able to stop it from getting worse, with Crimson having nearly fully blinded her in one eye, as well as giving her some nasty wounds that eventually scar over. Ultimately, she's lucky she didn't lose the eye entirely, but it's still an absolutely miserable experience regardless.

From there, she makes it to the surface surprisingly easily. She knew the way out, and the exit she took wasn't too far from Inkopolis, so she's able to get there within the month. Her positioning right next to the surface meant she was already required to know some of the Inkling language, so while she's not at all fluent, she's able to get by enough that she's able to pawn off her armor, as well as practically anything that isn't directly necessary to her survival. Her armor specifically is important however, as she wants to get rid of anything that could potentially relate her to being an Octoling soldier, and while she doesn't realize that really no Inklings would think anything of it, she can't risk it. She uses the funds to get herself a place to stay for a while, and is finally able to just rest for a minute.

From there, she actually adjusts surprisingly well to everything on the surface. Her skill with weapon tech is actually in very high demand, as the need for weaponsmiths and repair workers is at an all time high, so she's able to get an apprenticeship at a repair shop in quick time, and not only does it pay well, but she loves the work. While it's not the same as what she was training to do in the military, weapons engineering, she just loves working with weaponry as a whole, and while she doesn't personally play, it's also a reassuring notion for her that she's able to pursue a lifelong passion of hers in a way that isn't actually tied to war and combat, it's all just a silly game everyones playing, there's no actual stakes

It's around two years before she ends up seeing May again, however. After the fight broke out, May ran back to her camp, grabbed June, and just... picked a direction and ran. It took another few months wandering lost before May was actually finally able to make it out, and given how big of a city Inkopolis is, she and Scarlet don't run into each other naturally for quite a long time. They both carry around a lot of guilt surrounding the situation though. Scarlet feels as if she basically just... abandoned May, who was in this desperate situation, and that she should've made more of an effort to look for her before she just left, and May feels like she's responsible for everything that happened to Scarlet. The two meet when May, going in for weapons adjustments to make sure everythings up to date for league regulations for June's first time trying out a game of Turf War, ends up at the shop Scarlet works at. The two are overjoyed to see that they've both settled remarkably well in on the surface, and that they both even made it out in the first place. It alleviates a lot of that guilt for both of them, as while they both end up feeling as though they should've handled the situation differently, this is at least proof neither party ended up worse off afterwards. They're also able to stay in touch after this, which helps them both feel a little less alone as one of only a few dozen Octolings in hiding on the surface.

Ultimately, this is where I stop being able to describe things solely from Scarlet's point of view, as when Crimson reenters the story, there's a lot of extra context that needs to be added as to why everything worked out the way it did, and somehow this has already ended up longer than the time I laid out literally the entire plot of all of my main OCs. Good lord above. I was not joking when I said this would take a long time to write and when I said I'd write a lot.

Sincerely, thank you so much for asking, I do apologize for letting this one... also get out of hand, since this is... a lot of text for anyone to read through, but I do so, so very much appreciate the chance to let myself just kinda shed the feeling of cringe for a moment and just let myself infodump about my OCs lol. Peace and love on planet earth <3

[writeforfandoms]

Merry Go Round of Life 17

Find my masterlist and series masterlist

I... don’t want to think about how long it’s been since I posted the last chapter. But the next chapter is ready and I’ll probably throw it up in a week. Or maybe over the weekend. We’ll have to see how I feel. 

Warnings: Language, Din gets Protective, it’s Moving Day, Peli is snarky. 

Word count: 1.7k

Chapter 17: In which there are answers

The pounding finally stopped hours later. Your shoulders dropped once the noise subsided, and you slumped a little. You were exhausted. It had been a long day. 

And you still nearly jumped out of your skin in fright when the door opened. 

But it was just Djarin, stepping into the room and pausing when he saw you and the child sitting together, and Peli burning low in her logs. 

"What happened?" He demanded, striding over to you and dropping to kneel in front of you. 

"One of the Witch's henchmen has been trying to get in for hours," you told him while the child flailed his arms in protest. "And she was being very suspicious."

"She?" Djarin took the child almost reflexively, his gloves brushing your hands as he did. "Which she? Did you see the Witch today?" 

"Erm, yes." Whoops. You hadn't considered that would possibly get you into trouble. 

Djarin shifted the child to one arm so his free hand could cup your cheek. Your eyes went wide and your heart stuttered in your chest. "Did she hurt you? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," you managed, only a little breathless to your ears. "She just… talked."

"Talked." Djarin's voice went flat, but he didn't move. "What about?" 

"She, um." You had to pause and swallow. "Said that her…" your throat closed around the word and you coughed. "That she just wanted, how did she put it. What was hers by right. I don't know what she meant. And then she asked…"

"What did she ask?" Djarin kept his voice level, but you didn't think it was easy. 

"She asked how I liked living with a heartless man. It was a very strange question." You shrugged a little. 

Djarin breathed out slowly, leaning back. His fingers slipped from your skin, and you missed the touch, even just the leather of his glove. "But you're fine."

"I'm fine. The child and I both. Nothing happened until the henchman was trying to get in, but Peli did all the work," you told him honestly. 

Djarin nodded slowly and stood, keeping the child tucked in his arm as he did a sweep of the room. He didn't say anything, so you presumed he didn't notice that the items in the bookcase were just slightly ajar still. 

After a few minutes of walking the room and checking things, he sighed. Just once, short and sharp. 

"I'll need to do some work tomorrow," he said, sounding faintly annoyed. 

You swallowed, unable to shake the feeling that somehow that was your fault. "I'm sorry."

He looked at you and shook his head a little. "She's been trying to find the entrances for a while," he said, dismissing your concerns. "I didn't think she'd be bold enough to follow you in broad daylight. She's either getting desperate, or…"

"Or…?" You prompted gently.

"Or she thinks she has a lead." He sounded faintly troubled by that. 

"A lead on what, exactly?" You were a little cautious to ask, but the curiosity was eating at you. 

"The Darksaber."

You blinked at him. "The what?" 

"The Darksaber. It is… the crown has held it for generations. The Witch wants it to try to take over." Djarin shrugged as if that was nothing new. And maybe to him it wasn't. Maybe he had been dealing with this for years. 

"Ah." You let that sit for a few moments. "So what does that have to do with us?" 

Djarin shrugged. "I don't know," he grumbled. "But I will find out." 

Well, that sounded slightly ominous. For the Witch, not for you. And then you decided to push your luck just a little bit, since he seemed to be in the mood to answer questions. 

"Why did you send me to the King?" 

Djarin huffed. "I knew he'd ask me to focus on Vizsla," he grumbled. "And I can't ignore a direct order from the king." He shrugged. "I have other things to do."

And apparently that was all the leeway you were going to get, because Djarin turned away from you. 

"Get some rest," he rasped. "You had a long day." He vanished up the stairs before you could protest, and you sighed. 

Guess you were going to bed, then. 

Peli roused enough to blink slowly at you. "Curious little witch," she murmured, the low hiss of fire in her tone. "Relentless. Good." She closed her eyes again and wouldn't respond to your gentle prods. 

So you gave up and laid on your cot, staring up at the ceiling. She had called you a witch. It wasn't the first time you'd been called a witch, but it stuck with you. You were no witch. You weren't anyone, really. You were just… you. Just you. 

You weren't sure when you finally fell asleep, but you woke to the gentle clatters of a morning routine. Peli whining softly about having to heat the water. Happy coos from the child. The gentle shink and thud of things being pulled out of a cabinet and set on the table. 

You sat up and blinked around owlishly. Djarin had the child in his arm again, his free hand setting out tea cups and plates. Peli was heating the kettle, and there was bread toasting in front of her. 

"Good morning," you greeted, getting up cautiously. You cracked several times as you got up - these old bones certainly were noisier than you were used to. 

"Finally!" Peli huffed. "I thought you'd sleep through the whole thing!"

"The whole thing?" You questioned as you creaked your way to the table. Djarin pointed you to a chair and, as soon as you were sitting, plopped the child in your lap. 

"Djarin has to do some work today," Peli reminded you. "Including moving." 

"Moving?" You looked around the interior curiously. "How will you move all the charms?"

Djarin shook his head. "The moving castle won't change," he told you. "The store front in Kamino will stay, but the Mandalore front will be replaced with a place in Kalevala. It's safer for you." 

"Oh." You had a feeling you wouldn't understand it until it happened, so you just quietly drank your tea when Djarin presented it to you. He took his tea away from you and the child, presumably so he could remove his helmet, or whatever. 

Then there was a whirl of activity - Djarin produced white paint from somewhere, and used it to scrawl symbols on the floors, the walls, the ceilings. He dashed upstairs to do the upstairs as well, and then came back and set the can of paint aside. 

"Sit," Djarin told you, nodding to your armchair. You sat, the child in your lap. "Don't move. This will take a minute."

You nodded, watching with undisguised fascination as Djarin grabbed the fireplace shovel and kind of… scooped up Peli. She looked uneasy, the lump at the base of her rolling just slightly. 

"Careful!" She snapped, little firey hands reaching out to grab the sides of the shovel. She looked so small like this. "I'm delicate!" 

Djarin snorted but didn't say anything. He stepped carefully into the middle of the room and took a moment to stand and look around, as if double checking. Then he nodded. "Ready," he murmured. 

For a moment, all was quiet. Nothing happened. And then Peli blazed up to the ceiling, burning red-orange and then blue-white. You tucked the child in closer to you, though you felt no heat. Djarin's feet lifted off the floor, just a couple inches, as the inside of the castle stretched and popped. Two new doorways appeared, the insides rearranging to make space. The light coming in the window changed quality, becoming brighter and cleaner. 

Slowly, everything settled back to the floor. Peli sank back down to just a ring of flames around the lump, which seemed to be… pulsing slightly? But that was all the examination you got, as Djarin deposited her back in the fireplace, which was also larger now. 

"It's safe," he assured you, straightening and looking over at you and the child. "Feel free to explore." 

You set the child on the floor and instead walked over to Djarin. "Are you alright?" 

"Fine." He waved a hand. "Just took a lot of energy."

You didn't understand but you nodded anyway. "Want a cup of tea?"

He shook his head, but there was a smile in his voice when he answered, "No, thank you. One of the rooms is yours - go look." He sank back into the armchair, kicking his feet up onto the fireplace. 

You stood for a moment frozen. One of them was yours? You had your own room? Well, you couldn't resist going to look now. You toddled off, and the first door you opened was a bedroom. Clean, simple, the bed already made, the space yours. You had to blink back sudden tears. 

For someone who had been imposed upon when you burst into his life unexpectedly, Djarin was certainly quietly giving. 

The child "helped" you move some things into your bedroom. But he refused to touch your walking stick. It was a little odd, but you also wrote it off - the walking stick was as tall as he was, perhaps he simply didn't want to pick it up. 

And then you forgot about it in the joy of having your own space. 

"One more thing," Djarin told you later that day, the child tucked into his chest for a nap. "There's a shop front for your use as well, if you want it." He hesitated a moment. "Take a look." 

And then he was gone up the stairs. That particular habit of his rather made you want to wring his neck, just a little. 

You sighed shortly but hobbled out the front door. There was a little stone courtyard, with two entrances. One led out to a street you could just see and hear, the gentle afternoon sounds of shops closing and people going home. Your heart started to thud in your chest. 

In front of you was a door. Simple. Wood. 

But you knew exactly where it would lead. 

Your fingers trembled just a little as you reached for the door, turning the handle. An empty back room and storage area, and then an empty front room. You opened the front door, the hinges squeaking in protest, and stood on the doorstep looking out onto the street. Tears blurred your vision, but you hardly even needed to see to know where you stood.

Kalevala.

--

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[losingitinjersey]

Today at Erp’s daycare they had Christmas photos taken!  I dressed her in her only holidayish outfit, red and black checked dress/shirt paired with black leggings and her purple tennis shoes (didn’t realize until this morning that nicer shoes might be a good thing to have).  Thanks to the center’s live stream I was able to watch the photographer work with the kids and after using up almost all my 15 daily logins I was actually able to pop on at the right time to watch Erp’s session!  While she wasn’t nearly as obedient as the older kids who followed instructions, she wasn’t completely disobedient either!  Who knows if he was able to get a smile out of her but I’m excited to see the results!  Though, I’m sure we’ll be asked to pay for these?  All they told us was that Christmas photos were taking place today.  We’ll find out! 

@runthemileyourein brought up a good point today about gifts for daycare teachers.  What’s appropriate?  Since it seems like most of the teachers work with most of the kids, I don’t want to get something for EVERYONE but I also don’t know if it’s appropriate to play favorites?  There are two specific teachers I want to get something for.  I’m thinking gift cards or cash?  Is $50 per person a good amount?  Either Starbucks or Amazon, both evil corporations but oh so convenient.  What would you want?  

After four and a half days of having Erp at home (after six days the week prior due to her fever), I was very ready for daycare to open back up yesterday. Remember how upset I was when I first started taking her there last month?  So glad both of us have adjusted so well :)

As mentioned, this past Friday was our Thanksgiving celebration and while I asked Kevin to help run childcare offense, I forgot that him working a night shift the day before meant he��d be sleeping all day.  I started cooking at 7 a.m. and was solo straight up until we sat down to eat around 4ish.  Long long day. But so good!  I love the time management of cooking and how cleaning up in-between dishes gives an extra boost of accomplishment and energy to tackle the next recipe.  Love caring for my family through these acts of service.  

On Saturday I was able to take advantage of Erp’s nap time to Christmatize the house!  Didn’t go overboard and I feel good about the level of cheer sprinkled about.  While I wish we had a tree, it doesn’t make sense to do one this year given the fact that there’s no good place for it to reside and that we won’t be home for Christmas anyway.  My biggest sadness is that we don’t have a mantel so I can’t hang our customized family stockings that my entire extended family has.  Aug’s stocking is being made as we speak/type/read!  

As I spend more time sitting holding Aug, Saki has been eager to also take advantage of my lap which has made for some precarious situations.  I find myself wanting to get a desk that, like, extends up and over so I can type on a sturdy platform while still giving my lap to my babes.  Once my maternity leave ends (in 17 days!!!!) I’ll need to figure out a good system.  Maybe it’s time to overhaul my office again, making it bebe friendly.  

Things to do: 

Christmas Cards:  I got them ordered!  If only that was all to be done.  Now I’m waiting for stationary to arrive so I can get our holiday update letter printed. Though, I think I’m going to take it to like a FedEx/Kinkos to be printed so I don’t waste all our printer ink.  I like to write something customized on each person’s card so that takes time since I have 130 people on my mailing list.  Hoping to crank this out before the end of the week.  

Thank You Letters:  Before I start work back up I reaaalllyy need to finish writing the thank you letters for the gifts we got for Aug four+ months ago.  At least this will be done before 6+ months like I did for Erp?  And 11+ months like I did for my wedding?  Sensing a pattern here?  Improvement!!

Finish Christmas Shopping:  Which I was planning to do today, but here I am typing up a blog post instead.  Whoops. Every year I make individualized calendars for each family (my parents, Kevin’s parents, my sister and Kevin’s siblings) so I need to get on that.  I expect the rest of the gifts to be photo presents which takes a lot longer than clicking purchase on a website.  But that’s all my mom and MIL have expressed interest in so that’s what I’ll do! 

Wrap Presents:  Self explanatory :)

What I’m Watching:  

Just finished Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop.  I didn’t watch the anime so I’m not biased for or against the series, but I really liked it.  I thought it was beautifully made and I enjoyed the characters, storyline, and definitely the music.  I think I’ll next watch the anime so this might completely change my opinion of the live-action version but for now, I’m very glad to have watched it.  

What I’m Listening To:  

Dave Brubeck Pandora station.  

[joontier]

Parallel Palpitations | V1; report i

pairings: dr. park jimin x female reader 

chapter rating: NC-17 | genre: romance, slice of life, humor

warnings: none to note

word count: 2k

g/n: this is just an intro basically ksjdfksjdf but i’d also like to inform yalls this coincides with the Subliminal in Scrubs universe (jk’s installment of TWA) 

Parallel Palpitations (the records) |  navi. | m.list

Closing his locker with his foot, Jimin tries to carefully balance his books placed precariously on top of each other in his arms as he walks back to the dean’s office where he’s also arranging most of his stuff to take home. It’s already been a week since he’d officially graduated medicine from Busan National University, and he had only kept going back to school to gather all his belongings so he could start reviewing. 

“Jimin, is that you?” The question almost knocks clumsy Jimin off his feet, surprised at how there was still any other person in the office besides  Kyungjo who was also collecting his stuff to take home. Jimin sets all of his books down first on a desk and turns, only to come face to face with none other than Jeon Jungmin himself, associate professor and chairman of the Jeon Medical Center. 

“Professor Jeon! Good evening Sir...It’s already late, professor?” 

Jeon Jungmin laughs, patting Jimin on the back, “I was going to say the same to you kid. You should go home.” Jimin flashes the older man a small smile, “Ah...yes, Professor. I’m just grabbing the last of my stuff then I’ll be on my way. This won’t take long.” 

“It’s fine, Jimin. The staff know you well anyways,” Jungmin sighs, then rests his weight on a pillar as he puts his hands in his pockets. “You know, Jimin...you’re a very bright student...I think even one of the best in Korea if I do say so myself.” 

The young man momentarily pauses with what he’s doing, taking in the professor’s words, “Oh, I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration, Sir.” 

Jungmin chuckles as he shakes his head. “It’s true - you’re driven and you’re smart. It’s a fixed formula for someone who achieves great success in life later on. Your parents must be very proud. I would be too, if you were my son too.” 

“Thank you, Professor. Everything I do, I do for my parents.” 

The older man lets out a deep exhale and gives Jimin another pat on the back. “Just wanted to let you know that you’re going to be a fine doctor Jimin - and the Jeon Medical Center would definitely need fine doctors like you. I realized I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I really hope you will choose JMC for your post-graduate internship. We have a good program here,” Jungmin’s voice goes down to a whisper, “If you wish to, just let me know…” 

Someone enters the office and bows to the both of them and recognizes the same man as the professor’s driver. The man collects the professor’s briefcase and coat with one nod of Jungmin. “Well, I’ll head off first, Jimin. I can give you a ride home if you’re done with those.” 

Jimin shakes his head quickly, declining the one and only Jeon Jungmin’s generous offer. He’s unsure about the other offer though, but if he lets himself get a car ride home with the chairman himself, the latter might take it as a favorable answer to his proposal to which Jimin is still undecided. “No thank you Sir. I’ll be alright. This might still take a while after all,” Jimin says with an awkward laugh, tapping the top of the stack which was rivaling Jimin’s height. 

“Alright Jimin. Get back home safely. And I...hope to see you again very soon.” 

Jimin gives him a curt nod. “Good night, Professor.” 

He continues on with his remaining tasks, wanting to finish quickly so he could finally go home and rest. “Is he gone?” Kyungjo’s voice startles Jimin, the book in his hands nearly causing the tower of books to collapse. “My god! Stop doing that!” Jimin scolds his friend as it wasn’t the first time Kyungjo’s sleuthing had given Jimin a fright. 

“Yeah, he left already. You done with your stuff?” 

“Uh-huh. All set and ready to step into the real world,” Kyungjo replies, waving his hands in the air. Jimin narrows his eyes at the other boy, judging him silently. Kyungjo has a particular inclination towards alcohol and Jimin wonders if today was one of the days where his friend indulges himself yet once again. 

“Have you heard about his actual son? What was the kid’s name again...uh…” Kyungjo snaps his fingers in mid-air as Jimin asks what was the issue with the chairman’s son, likewise reminding Kyungjo it wasn’t best to talk about it in the dean’s office. “Ah! Yes, Jeon Jungkook. Heard that their relationship got so bad that Jungkook completely cut himself off from the family once he graduated high school and went to Yonsei instead of BNU because of his daddy issues.”

Jimin, unsure how to handle and process that kind of information, simply shakes his head at Kyungjo. “It’s wrong to gossip about other people's lives like that.” When Jimin looks over at his friend, Kyungjo is no longer listening, fumbling with the remote as he turns up the volume of the office television. 

“In other news today, two thousand five hundred sixty one students of Seoul National University graduated this afternoon 25th of February, 2023. The ceremony was held at COEX Convention Center in Samsung-dong, Seoul to accommodate the number of graduates this year. With a yearly average of at least two thousand three hundred graduates, this year’s commencement ceremony records the highest number of graduates in the history of the national university. 

“Not only did they record the highest number of alumni, but this year also marks the first year to have a foreign national graduate as the school’s valedictorian.” Jimin is listening just as intently as Kyungjo now with both boys focused on the TV screen. “Jeong Yeorum, also known as Summer Jeong by her colleagues, graduates with flying colors today from Seoul National University’s College of Medicine. Here is part of her valedictory speech this afternoon.” 

A girl appears on screen and she stands behind the podium with a bright and reassuring smile on her face. “As we embark on the journey of the rest of our lives, I implore you all, to do what you love, because I believe it’s what you’ll do best. There will be countless times of trial, but keep in mind that perseverance will always prevail. Always aim for the moon, because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars. Class of 2023, good luck. And remember, graduation is only the beginning.” 

“Wow!” Kyungjo claps his hands enthusiastically as he marvels at the girl. “The twenty-six year old, who along with her  family migrated to South Korea back in 2015 when her father was reassigned to an office here in Seoul. The valedictorian says she’s not entirely foreign to Korea as her paternal grandmother is actually a native of Jeju. Jeong Yeorum then attended a co-ed high school in Mapo District, where she likewise finished her secondary education with academic distinction.” 

The reporters, equally impressed with the girl’s achievements, couldn’t help but add their own comments to the news report, “Wow...I guess some people are simply born for greatness.” 

“I agree with you there, Dongho-ssi. We might be looking at the next Bae Jeonjoo, the only woman in the group of doctors who pioneered neurosurgery in South Korea. Ms. Jeong Yeorum, if you are seeing this, we’re rooting for your promising career. Fighting!” 

As soon as the news anchors proceed to report other news, Kyungko turns off the television and mentions the time. “Well, she was pretty cute, wasn’t she? Totally my type! Maybe when we get to Seoul to review, we’ll get the chance to meet her...and make her my girlfriend!” 

Jimin rolls his eyes at Kyungjo, placing a firm grip on the shoulder, “My friend...you are either drunk, hungry, or high. Either way, you should go home. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just close up here.” 

Kyungjo shrugs his shoulders. “You’ll still go, right? To Seoul?” 

“I will. Don’t worry.” Jimin gives the other boy a reassuring nod. 

“Still half half with the rent, a’ight? I’ll be counting on you, Jiminie...and don’t let me down. Also, tell me when you’re leaving for Seoul so I know when I’m not supposed to bring hot city girls home...they have the tendency to be...loud sometimes.” 

This boy was definitely high, and whatever substance he’s taking, Jimin wants none of it. 

“That’s your cue, Kyungjo. Go home and take a cab instead.” 

“I can drive! I’m not high or drunk!” Kyungjo puts his hands up in the air in defense. “Hey, look, I can even moonwalk!” He proceeds to dance wildly as he exits the office, leaving Jimin questioning how he even became acquainted with Kyunjo in the first place. 

You barely hear the sound of your name being called on stage when the audio of Hoseok’s loud whooping completely dulls that of your professor’s. “Oppa! Nobody would be able to make out my name with your audio input!” Playfully shoving your cousin’s phone back into his hands, you continue to mumble your complaints about the poor video quality. 

Indignant with your words, Hoseok retorts, “Hey! I’m not a professional videographer, alright? What’s important is the actual moment happening and not how the moment was captured!” Hoseok hooks an arm over your neck, bringing your head to his chest as he gives you a noogie. “Oppa, my hair!!” 

Pulling yourself away from his grasp, you quickly pat your hair down but not delivering a solid smack on Hoseok’s back. As you’re fixing your hair, you weren’t able to put much thought into where you were walking, ultimately, and accidentally bumping into someone in a blue and black graduation robe similar to yours. 

Quickly, you look up, apologizing profusely at the person. “Oh! I’m so sorry- I…” “It’s okay,” the guy smiles a little, “_________, right?” You’re sure the surprise is evident in your face when he mentions your name when he barely even talked to you during the entirety of med school. “Yes! I mean...hello, Jungkook..” Clearing your throat, you quickly think of something to divert the impending awkward silence, “Well...um, congratulations to you for graduating as the batch valedictorian!” It now dawns on you that he really did graduate on top of the class, “Wow! You’re real smart!” comes your thoughts, unconsciously voicing them out. 

‘You’re real smart?’ Really? That’s the best you could’ve done? 

Jungkook chuckles, slightly taken-aback by your audible observation. “Oh yeah...um, thanks.” From behind you, you hear Hoseok clear his throat before speaking up. “Hello!” You hang your head low momentarily, already imagining Hoseok making fun of you later for this. 

“Right, Jungkook, this is my cousin, Jung Hoseok. Oppa, this is my classmate - Jeon Jungkook.” The two men shake their hands briefly before Jungkook speaks up, “Well, I’ve got to go now. Congratulations to you too Soomin. And Jung Hoseok-ssi.” 

As soon as Jungkook gets out of your sight, Hoseok nudges you with his elbow. “Please tell me that man was Jeon Jungmin’s son,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief. Nodding your head, you raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Got a crush on the dude?” Oh god. Here we go again. 

“No! Jeez.” 

“Why were you so awkward around him then?” 

“We barely talked in class. Hell, I don’t even think we were within at least fifty meters from each other.” 

“But he’s a handsome man?” 

“Maybe you’re the one that’s got a crush on him?” 

Hoseok glares at you. 

“Do you think maybe you’d know which hospital he might be interested in taking his PGI? Woocheon perhaps?” 

It’s your turn to glare at him. “I told you. This incident was only one of our very few interactions ever. I think the last time he talked to me was when he borrowed a pencil during a class and that’s it.” 

“Well...if you’d discover where, let me know. Because if he does apply for Woocheon, and we’d happen to get the girl from SNU too....” Hoseok nods his head slowly, stroking his chin “Woocheon will have the A-Team interns this year, you included.” 

You roll your eyes, resting your arm against the car door that Hoseok opens for you, “You really think that’s going to pay for you ruining my hair?” 

“No, but you’re going to thank me if Woocheon manages to snag the dream team!” 

© joontier 2021

[phonaesthemes]

tag game thing

@padawanyugi tagged me a while ago (12 days apparently) and i forgot entirely about this until i saw it half-done in a note, whoops.

1) Why did you choose your url i wanted something linguistics-related and initially picked "phonesthemes" but thought it looked like phones-themes so i ended up using the alternate spelling. 

2) any side-blogs ? if you have them, name them and why you have them glittery-phonaesthemes, which initially was like travel/sci-fi stuff but now it's just where i put literally everything else in the hopes of not annoying people who followed me for language stuff.

3) how long have you been on tumblr ? that is a good question. apparently since february of 2015!

4) do you have a queue tag ? ahahah no. tagging anything on my phone is a rage-inducing experience so i only bother for content warning kinds of things now

5) why did you start your blog in the first place i was kind of in between communities and had seen content from tumblr elsewhere and decided to give it a shot

6) why did you choose your icon/pfp ? i couldn't think of anything related to my blog theme that wasn't a wug (not that there’s anything wrong with that) so it's a picture i took of a statue that i really liked in helsinki

7) why did you choose your header ? do i have one?? i think it's a foresty something or other maybe?? i like trees??

8) what’s your post with the most notes ? i’m not actually sure but after the nsfw crackdown, one of my (exceedingly rare) posts got flagged and i bitched about it ("those are back vowels not boobs" or something) and it escaped lingblr and gathered some notes

9) how many mutuals do you have ? 86 apparently

10) how many followers do you have ? 638

11) how many people do you follow ? 315

12) have you ever made a shitpost ? probably. maybe less so on tumblr compared to Elsewhere

13) how often do you use tumblr each day ? it varies. a lot less now bc i just have less time

14) did you have a fight/argument with another blog once ? who won? no, but i would not win, i am more the type to let someone else have the last word lol

15) how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts ? i remember getting chain emails back on hotmail and i am kind of surprised at how that medium has evolved (or not)

16) do you like tag games ? yes very much, although i am TERRIBLE about checking my tags

17) do you like ask games ? it depends! i like sending in asks when i see them because i think most people enjoy "mail" (and if they didn't, why post reblog the game?)

18) which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous ? i have had mutuals who were lingblr infamous, does that count 

19) do you have a crush on a mutual ? no, although there is at least one where i think we followed each other for language stuff but they've gone through like 5 other themes since then and possibly a few new names, and although i still enjoy their content (their Untamed phase may be waning, so i am excited to see the next fixation), i can never help trying to remember what the hell their old name was, just out of curiosity. they’re one of my oldest mutuals!

20) tags i am too nervous to tag anyone, but please feel free to tag me or say that i tagged you if you want to talk about yourself too.

[ourcorny]

charactersssss (a constant wip)

annie morris … twenty-five. currently haunted by her paintings and doodles. how embarrassing! waitress, artist, medicated for an illness she doesn’t has. is actually just from a bloodline of cursed female creative types. more info can be found @tghluck. (fc: mary elizabeth winstead)

edward ainsley … sixteen years old, is actually fifty-seven, vegan vampire. utterly disliked by his vampiric peers due to his being turned into a vampire in his youth, rendered sixteen years old for life. has a tendency towards alcoholism in order to silence his cravings for blood since he deems vampirism altogether unethical. more info found @pastytwat (fc: craig roberts)

robbie moore … fifty. always one of those too big for his own boots kinda guys – one of the ‘i’m jumping ship as soon as hit eighteen’ types. that’s what he did, and that’s when he absolutely fucked it. ran his mouth too loud for too long and ruined any chances he had anywhere he went. robbie is a writer but his unwillingness to compromise with his work leaves him unable to find any real place in the industry. an absolute self publishing expert. to pay the bills he’s an english teacher but there’s no real passion for it. he came back to his hometown after struggling his way around the country and settled down in a marriage with his high school sweetheart that turned sour quickly. the pair never had children and were heading to a painful divorce when his wife passed away suddenly. years down the line and he’s still trying to wrap his head around it. jesus fuck this guy. (fc: marc maron)

tara shaw … thirty-four. owner of SHAWSPB, an independent publishing company ran (run? past tense…? it’s confusing) by one tara shaw, someone who needs to work on her social skills. as it seems, you can actually only reject so many people so many times before it bites you in the ass. more specifically (and more accurately), you can only reject so many people so meanly after you fire the companies’ reader because they’ve let one too many trashy reads out of the slush pile and you have to start wading through the heaving thing yourself. opening manuscripts seemed well and good and safe enough because all you’d be facing is words that were crappy in a worst case scenario, until late one night, you stumble upon something that a sour faced rejectee (yes, one that landed themselves with a personalised handwritten and very specific rejection from the woman herself) gets their pages in the pile. tara opens it and finds that it’s no story at all. it’s a string of nonsense – words that don’t exist, script she’s not sure she’s ever seen before, but transfixed on the page, tara shaw reads the thing front to back and the second she puts the papers down is hurtled into the space time continuum, left to float around in there til something grounds her back into the real world, when or wherever that is. it’s an act of karma, or something, and whenever she lands she pukes her guts out because that’s what that kind of thing does to the human body apparently. (fc: natasha lyonne)

genevieve walsh … seventeen. was made fun of in year six for choosing to go to an all girl’s catholic secondary school, her classmates saying that she would end up a lesbian. she did, though it was unrelated to her formal teaching. very unrelated. she has too much going on and is too moody for her own good. extra info can be found @genegrieve. 

morrigan kenny … age unknown. bringer of the apocalypse. wanders earth with her way too long hair (it collects twigs and mud) looking for someone to spend the rest of the end with.

alex … thirty-odd (undisclosed actual age) years old. she is yet to learn to do her taxes, and is for all intents and purposes: a con-woman. arguably not an ethical profession, charging the old and the gullible for exorcisms and that of a supernatural variety while having no knowledge of the subject. but a girl’s gotta make a living — volunteering yourself for stand up gigs at the same place night in night out with little to no compensation doesn’t provide much. she’s a kind person, if you ignore the conning, and is decent to talk to. will give away any information. whoops. (fc: jenny slate)

lou webster … seventeen. modern prophet. refuses touch with good reason (skin on skin means she see the other person’s skin melting off, right to the bone). regularly sees the end of the world and it gives her stomach aches. (fc: natalia dyer)

liv o'dell … twenty-nine. screaming messy would probably win the lottery (the luck of her) if she ever tried it, multiple time accidental murderer. makes no sense. is rude. is annoying. has a surprisingly sweet daughter (kitty). more info @heavyroads 

betty cloverfield … a twenty one year old motormouth who can’t hold down a single thing she’s meant to. she happens to have recently induced some type of magenta sensitive dissonance in her sensory processing that she can’t shake. it’s speculated by many that she’s taken one too many poppers and it’s taken its toll. (fc: kat dennings)

aiden ryder … seventeen years old. the angstiest, quietest idiot with four fully charged portable chargers to hand at any moment you will ever know. heavily associated with @optimistsclub​ (fc: jack kilmer)

mert james ... 21. a children’s author, the writer and illustrator of the BEWARE GIANT CREATRUES series. he has many reasons to not want to leave his house and most surround the obvious images conjured in the phrase hatemyself1999 — hate myself (explanatory) and 1999 (dexter ‘mert’ james’ birth year. also self explanatory once you know this fact). all that said, he does in fact leave his house. teaches drums to kids. none of them practise and it makes him insane. in a running circuit of bands where none of the members are committed. that, or he’s misjudging their commitment and giving them nothing when they do in fact care and then he is the dick. music snob, deadpan snarker, karma houdini, middle child syndrome, world of cardboard, can’t get away with nuthin, i coulda been a contender!

lazyguts / victoria ... suicide/eating disorder mention. i’m writing her through ages 17-19 and here’s the brief overview/context: lazyguts lost all of her friends the year before she went off to university as a result of her total withdrawal [causes being a) her brother attempting to kill himself (he survived but it’s very confusing to grieve a hypothetical especially when you’re not supposed to talk about it) and then b) her already struggling with food issues getting worse worse worse. these two things alone are not the reasons as no one else explicitly knows about them, but the adverse effects of these things combined make her difficult to be around/hard to maintain a friendship with her. all very tragic, but still happens. uno].going to a uni where she doesn’t know anyone seems like the best move. she does. she makes friends with a girl called olivia and they become mad close very quickly. this lasts maybe two months until lazyguts starts locking herself away in uni room and doesn’t see much of anyone at all. she has to drop out on mental health reasons just before the end of her first year. she moves back home and lives miserably and very solitary. she and olivia have long lost touch by this point. a few months later she sees an in memoriam post up on olivia’s social media from some of olivia’s friends saying how tragic the loss is, etc/ olivia had killed herself. the post had said something about a project for the close friends of olivia and she tentatively sends a message despite having never really known the girl. anyway, after quite a few ‘exaggerations’ and then a few straight up lies, she ends up super into the friend group of olivia’s based on the lie of being a long-time friend of hers. she’s not sure why the lie comes out nor why she keeps it going. it’s something to cling onto so she does. best way to put it is she’s very dear evan hansen about it, lying lying lying lllyyyinng. eventually she’s caught out but we’re not there yet (fc: odessa a’zion)

dale knox ... 30ish. painter/decorator. info literally not ever written out before. he’s lovely and in a constant state of stress! affiliated with @fullyfungi (fc: aidan turner)

lenny gata ... 26. lonely funeral poet. followed by a select few of the unknown dead #irl after an accidental latin spell read out at a graveside (not her fault, literally not her fault - she read this out in good faith). caught ignoring them/walking them to their homes depending on the day. (fc: aubrey plaza)

millie matthews ... 17. half part antichrist. the other half is her twin sister (#MISSING). currently, unfortunately, sadly, disappointgly, worryingly, being tracked down.

more tbaaaaaaaa thank you thank you

[soobiniebaby]

Angels & Devils Part III: Give Me a Highlight

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Being a new student on the first day of a new academic year was a bit of an experience for B, especially since she always had at least one member of the student council by her side throughout the day.

After lunch, Beomgyu had walked with her to their French class. She was used to getting looks as she passed by, because even at her old school she knew that people knew who she was, but the looks she was receiving at MOA were different. No one really knew who she was yet, or what her family was like. They weren’t looking at her with cold judgement, they weren’t whispering about her family background, but rather they were staring at her with bright curious eyes, and a bit of, dare she say it, jealousy?

When she was walking with Kai, she didn’t mind the stares too much because 1) she knew that her best friend was popular so it was only natural for people to stare at him and 2) she had enough history with Kai and felt comfortable enough with him to know that no matter what people may think, he was her best friend and no rumor or speculation could change that.

But as she walked alone with Beomgyu and sat beside him in class, the stares felt different. As comfortable enough as she was around Beomgyu, she realized that the level of comfort she felt with Kai was on another level. With Kai by her side, she felt like she had a shield that could block out what other people might say, but being alone with someone like Beomgyu, she felt bare and prone to judgement.

It wasn’t Beomgyu’s fault. He was warm, he was charming, and she felt at ease talking to him and enjoyed his company. He cracked funny jokes and made her feel close to him so effortlessly that if it weren’t for the stares, she would’ve felt like he was a close friend already.

But she was always super conscious of getting stares, so much so that it had a tendency to affect how she acted when she felt them. And Beomgyu seemed to notice this.

“Hey, B, are you alright?” he asks her as they occupy a couple of empty seats in their French class.

B nods. She wasn’t very good at hiding her feelings, so she simply said “Yeah I’m fine, I just don’t like it when I see people staring. It really makes me feel uneasy.”

Beomgyu looks at her with concern then and lays a hand on her wrist. “Hey, don’t mind them, alright? It’s probably just cause you’re the pretty new girl, so everyone’s probably just curious, that’s all.”

“The pretty new girl? Really?” B says looking at him with her brow raised.

Beomgyu holds his hands up defensively. “Well, you are? Pretty sure that’s how everyone sees you. To be honest, I’ve had a couple of guys from my last period ask about you. Looks like someone’s popular.” he says, nudging her arm teasingly.

B laughs, surprised. “You’re joking, right? What did they ask? Were they cute?”

“They wanted to know about you, I just told them you were pretty nice and cool. As for their looks, well, I guess you can say that MOA has a fairly attractive student population. Take me, for example.” Beomgyu says, rubbing his chin and making faces. “I mean, if you ever feel bad about the stares you get, just imagine that they’re all focusing on my handsome face.”

B hits his arm playfully, laughing out loud. “I can’t argue with that! Thanks Beomgyu, that actually made me feel a lot better.”

Beomgyu laughs along. “Don’t sweat it. Call me Gyu, by the way.”

Just then, their teacher for the period walks into the room, and everyone settles into their seats.

“Bonjour, je m’appelle Jackson.” Their teacher begins, addressing the class.

Beomgyu groans quietly. “Aw shit, why did my parents want me to learn French. Do you know any French?” he whispers to B.

B shrugs and says. “Ah Cher Monsieur Gyu, Je parle un petit peu de français.”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen. “Well then, um, mademoiselle B. Uh…Omelette du fromage?”

B whacks his arm and lets out a laugh, then immediately shuts up and sits up straight as their teacher glares at the pair.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you with French.” B whispers. Beomgyu squeezes her hand under the table and whispers back “Thanks, B.”

•°•

“Is it just me, or are the stares and whispers getting a bit ridiculous?” B asks Soobin as they walk into their English class, the last period for the day. She could feel the stares throughout the day and was starting to get used to them, but as soon as she and Soobin entered the classroom, the stares now came with whispers, which made it so much more uncomfortable.

“Don’t worry about it. As much of a hot topic you are, being the new girl and all that, I think everyone’s whispering about Yeonjun’s absence. It was also like this at my last class. Everyone wants to know why he skipped his first day of class after being suspended last term.” Soobin says, leaning in close and keeping his voice low. “By the way, where do you wanna sit?” he asks politely. The teacher wasn’t in the room yet and a lot of the students weren’t seated yet, so they had a lot of seats to choose from.

“Anywhere’s fine, really.” B says. Soobin nods as he leads her to a couple of seats to the side close to the windows.

“I can’t say I blame them. I mean, I know the reason why but my head’s still spinning with questions about the whole thing.” B whispers to him as they sit down. “You guys weren’t very helpful about it, either.” she huffs as she recalls how their lunchbreak ended.

It was like they had a script prepared for whenever anyone asked them about Yeonjun and his strange disappearances from school.

“It’s complicated.” “It’s not our story to tell.” “He has a lot of family issues.” “He’s a very busy guy.” “It happens a lot.”

Soobin laughs. “I’m sorry, but it’s not our story to tell. If you really want to know, you can just ask Yeonjun himself. I’m sure you’ll appreciate it more coming from him, and I’m sure that he’ll appreciate you talking to him directly rather than asking other people about it as well.”

B pouts, knowing that Soobin was right. “Can’t argue with that. Plus, no matter how much I’ve heard about you guys, I think it would still be different if I got to know you all on my own.”

“Oh? Just how much have you heard about us guys, exactly?” Soobin asks with a raised brow.

B bites her lip as she realizes her slip up. Whoops. She couldn’t take it back now, so she replied honestly. “I promised Kai I’d stay quiet about it because he didn’t want me to weird you guys out by asking questions, but I’ve heard quite a lot about you guys from a couple of girls in my Biology class.”

“Don’t worry about it, I guess it was bound to happen. When you’re a member of the student council, people are bound to talk about you I guess.” he says lightheartedly.

Yeah, and when you’re a group of 5 attractive, tall, and insanely talented nice guys B thought to herself.

“I’m really curious though, what have you heard about me? Good things, I hope?” Soobin asks with a hopeful look on his face.

“Actually, the girls told me all about the other council members, but I didn’t hear much about you.” B says.

Soobin’s face fell as he looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Is that so? Damn being the council president isn’t as big of a deal as it used to be, I guess.” he said dramatically, feigning hurt as he put a fist over his heart. “Maybe I should stir up some drama to get people talking about me on the first day.”

B laughs at his antics. “No, silly. We didn’t get to talk about you because the bell rang just as your name came up in our conversation.”

He laughed along sheepishly. “Well, I feel silly now.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, not that it’s important to me, but you know, it would be nice to feel included since you’ve heard so much about the other members already.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll be able to get to know a lot about you soon enough.” B says, just as their teacher walks in and everybody takes their seats. B notices that no one takes the other seat beside Soobin, as if they collectively had an unspoken agreement that it was reserved for the absent blue-haired boy.

The teacher makes a quick scan of the room and looks at his notes before facing the class. “Ah, yes, I’ve been informed that Mr. Choi has been excused from classes this afternoon. Let’s hope no one else will be making any more absences than deemed necessary.”

A few whispers are heard around the room before the teacher proceeds. “I also understand that we have a new student, and she’s a Sophomore too, so I hope that as seniors you will treat her well and welcome her warmly to MO Academy. I’m Sir Kim, your teacher for this term, and I hope you’ll enjoy my class, Ms. Han.” he says directly to B. He smiles when he realizes that Soobin is seated next to her. “And who better than our student council president, Mr. Choi Soobin himself to ensure that you’ll be comfortable and feel right at home here with us.”

Soobin smiles back at Sir Kim sort of shyly, not expecting his name to be mentioned. “I’ll make sure of it, Sir.” he promises.

Sir Kim nods approvingly. “Now, I want to give you a short introduction to our class, which is Creative Writing 101. I think the title speaks for itself, but I’d like to do things a little differently, starting with giving you your first project for the term, which will be worth 25% of your grade.”

B whispers “Damn.” under her breath while other students gasp audibly and some whispers start up again before Sir Kim quiets them down. “I know it’s only your first day of school, but for most of you it’ll be your last year at this school, so I want to maximize the time you have left here. For today, I will simply present the project to you and allow you to discuss and plan the output amongst yourselves so it won’t be too heavy. This project will be done by pairs of your choosing, which we will settle within the day. Those absent today will be given consideration.”

Soobin and B share a look then, and they smile when they realize they looked at each other at the same time.

“Partners?” B asks, knowing he was about to ask her the same thing.

“Sure.” he says, and they shake hands before turning their attention back to Sir Kim.

“For your first project, not only will you be doing creative writing, but you will be forming a narrative. Telling a story in a different way, through a different medium.” he begins, doing his best to make the project sound interesting. “I will be asking you to use social media platforms of your choosing to create a narrative, to tell a story, to develop characters, and to show creative writing in a creative way. You have a month to work on it, and I expect at least one entry, rather one social media update, every week. Each social media update should feature you or your partner. And all pictures or messages have to be taken by and composed by either you or your partner. Now, go into pairs, discuss it amongst yourselves, and if you have any questions feel free to approach me.” Sir Kim finishes, then he starts walking around the room as the class excitedly begins to pair up.

B turns to Soobin, caught up in the excitement along with the rest of the class. “Wow, I haven’t had an assignment like this before. It seems pretty interesting.”

Soobin nods. “Sir Kim is one of the well-known teachers at MOA, they say his classes are always fun, so I’m really excited to be taking it.”

“Well, do you have any ideas on what we should do for our project? It’s worth 25% of our final grade, so I think we should really put effort into it.” B asks.

Soobin looks at her then and he can practically see the gears turning in her head. “I was thinking we should decide on what social media platforms we should use first, and what sort of story we should tell with each post, but it looks like you’re full of ideas.”

“Yeah, my mind’s going a mile a minute.” B admits. “I like stories, but I’m not much of a story-teller. My idea sucks anyway, since we’re a boy and a girl, the first story idea that came to mind was me and Kai, which now that I think about it seems pretty boring considering we’re basically just childhood friends.”

“That doesn’t seem boring, really. A lot of things could happen between childhood friends.” Soobin interjects. “They could grow old together, they could drift apart.”

They could fall in love, he thought, but fortunately he was able to stop himself from saying the sudden idea out loud, not knowing where it came from.

B wrinkles her nose. “I mean yeah, I guess that hadn’t really occurred to me since I was just thinking of what my relationship with Kai is like. I don’t think we’ll be able to show us as childhood friends growing old together though considering we only have a month to do the project, unless we could make ourselves look years older with every post.” she says.

“That’s a fair point.” Soobin agrees. “I like the idea of us being childhood friends though, so our posts can start with us already knowing each other instead of us meeting each other for the first time.”

“Ooh, how about this.” B says, turning to Soobin excitedly. “Okay, we could appear as childhood friends in our project, but in real life we’re just getting to know each other, right? So maybe while we’re getting to know each other, let’s just document each other and create posts around what pictures or information we gather about each other? Basically, we just take pictures of each other every time we hang out or see each other, then we’ll make stories out of them.” she explains, trying to convey her ideas as clearly as possible.

“That would be a win-win, I think. We’d be getting to know each other while creating content for our project at the same time.” Soobin says. “Be ready for a lot of candid pictures though, I’ll be taking pictures of you like I’m paparazzi.” he jokes, pretending to hold a camera in his hands and clicking his fingers together.

“That’s gonna be hard for me since I’m really camera shy. I’ll feel like paparazzi taking pictures of you all the time, too.” she says, laughing.

Soobin scoffs softly. “Psh, you? Camera shy? You don’t seem shy at all.” he says. “I bet I’ll be able to get a lot of good photos of you for this project.”

B raises a brow. “Good luck with that. And yeah, I’m not really a shy person but everytime there’s a camera on me, I have a tendency to hide my face or look away.”

“Oh really? We’re opposite then, since I regard myself as shy but for some reason I’m fine with being on a stage or having my picture taken.” Soobin says.

“You? A shy person?” B says, looking him up and down. She shakes her head as she says, “I don’t believe it. I mean, you’re a giant so you automatically stand out in crowds, plus you’re the president of the student council, which doesn’t sound like something that a shy person would do.”

Soobin laughs at her analysis. “I mean I didn’t ask to grow this tall, and I’m fine with stuff like that, but it’s still a struggle for me sometimes. To talk to people and stuff.” he finishes a bit awkwardly. “If you don’t believe me, just ask Hyuka and the others.”

“Oh, I will.” B says skeptically. “Speaking of Hyuka and the others, I was thinking we could go grab a snack or something later after school? We could get started on our project, plus I’m sure Kai is curious to know how my first day of classes went, so I thought he and the others might want to come too.” B asks him. “I mean, only if you’re up for it.”

“Sure thing, we should start taking pictures as soon as possible so we’ll have a lot to choose from every week. Let me just ask the guys about it real quick.” Soobin says, whipping his phone out.

“Are you sure you’re allowed to be using your phone during class?” B whispers as Soobin puts his phone down.

“Everyone’s doing it, so…” Soobin shrugs. “And it’s settled, we’re going to Taehyun’s café later and the others are coming as well.”

“Oh wow, Taehyun has a café?” B asks, amazed.

Soobin nods. “Actually, it’s his family’s café but he helps around a lot, so we hang out there all the time. He works really hard, not just in school but outside of it as well, so he hates wasting his free time. It’s very admirable.”

“He sounds amazing.” B says, agreeing with Soobin.

Just then, Sir Kim approaches the 2 and says. “Hello Ms. Han, I hope you’re enjoying your time at MO Academy so far.”

B nods. “Yes, it’s an amazing school, I’m glad to be here. Thank you, Sir Kim.” she says, smiling brightly at him.

Sir Kim smiles and nods back before turning to Soobin. “That’s good. Now, Mr. Choi, I’m assuming that you and Ms. Han have been able to come up with a concept for your project? Would you mind giving me a brief outline?”

Soobin shares a look with B before he nods and smiles at Sir Kim. “Alright Sir, this is what we’ve come up with so far…”

•°•

“Okay, when you said we were all heading to the café together, for some reason, I thought we’d be walking.” B says, eyeing the big black vehicle parked close to the front steps of the school entrance.

Soobin scratches the back of his neck. “Well yeah we could walk, but walking there would take 15 minutes and driving there would only take 5, so…” he shrugs, and opens the passenger door for her. “Hop in?”

“But I called shotgun.” Kai whines, pouting. “I always sit shot gun.”

“Hush, let someone else have it, just this once. It’s her first day, after all.” Beomgyu says, dragging Kai with him into the back seat of the car with Taehyun following them.

“But I don’t like sitting at the back. It feels so crowded.” Kai continues to whine.

“It’s not crowded when it’s just Gyu, Yeonjun and I.” Taehyun remarks.

“…are you calling me fat?” Kai asks, while Beomgyu snickers.

“I mean, you can always sit in the back seat, Hyuka. My car can fit at least 7 people.” Soobin offers, shutting the passenger door and making his way over to the driver’s side.

Kai sighs, admitting defeat. “This is fine.”

“I’m actually not surprised that you have a car.” B says as they exit the school’s parking lot and head to the café. “It’s very convenient and I’m sure you’re more than capable of owning one. I should’ve asked my parents if I could have a car, or at least a bike. It would be so much easier than running to school everyday.”

“Did you run to school today, Baba? No offense, but you looked a bit flustered when we saw you this morning.” Kai asks.

“Yeah, I woke up late. I slept through 5 alarms.” B says, groaning. “I hope it doesn’t happen again tomorrow.”

Kai laughs out loud. “Why am I not surprised? You always were hard to wake up. I see you’re still a heavy sleeper. Do you live alone?”

B nods even though Kai probably couldn’t see her from the back seat. “Yeah, I convinced my parents to let me move into an apartment near the school. I’m surprised they actually agreed to it. I mean, you know how my parents are.”

“Ah, auntie and uncle still being overprotective?” Kai says knowingly.

“More like overbearing.” B says. “Thank god they let me transfer schools, too. I feel like for once in my life, I’m finally in charge.”

“I’m happy for you, Baba. You’ll have to fill me in on how you did it later.” Kai says, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. B puts her hand over his and squeezes back. “Thanks, Ningning.” she says.

“Speaking of which, where do you live? If your plan is to walk to and from school everyday, then it must be pretty close.” Taehyun asks.

“Oh, it’s pretty near. It’s, oh-” B says, surprised when she looks out the window. “It’s actually that building right there, on the second floor.” she says, pointing to a building across the street.

The boys all turn to where she was pointing to while Soobin parks the car in front of the café. The building she was pointing to was right across the café.

“You live in that building right there?” Soobin asks, glancing along with the other boys.

“Yup, the second floor. Apartment 2B.” she says. “I chose it myself, made sure it was at a nice location and everything. Why do you all seem surprised?” she asks when she realizes that they were all staring at the building.

Taehyun laughs a bit shyly. “I actually live there too, with my parents and my older brother and sister. We’re in apartment 1D.”

“Oh wow, we’re neighbors! How do you get to school everyday? Maybe we could go together?” B asks excitedly.

“I usually just walk. And sure, I’d like that. Just make sure you’re out your door by 7 AM though, I’d rather have a relaxing walk than a panicked run on the way to school.” he says, half joking and half serious.

B laughs as she says. “Deal. I promise I’ll wake up on time. I just had a hard time waking up earlier today cause we had to be there earlier for the tour.”

As they step out of the car and head into the café, B looks at the interior. It was simple, spacious, and cozy. Even though there were several seats and different settings all along the interior, a lot of the seats were occupied. There was also a set of double glass doors that led into a small outdoor area with more seats. It was a nice café, and B could tell that it was frequently visited by students and workers alike.

“Hyunie, there you are! Quick, I saved you and your friends a table right here.” A woman says as she approaches the boys and gives Taehyun a quick kiss on the cheek. The boys smile and greet her.

“Thank you so much, auntie Kang.” Soobin says, giving her a quick peck on the cheek as he takes a seat. The other boys line up to follow suit.

“Oh hush now, no need to thank me. You boys are always welcome here. Speaking of, looks like you’re missing one? And you replaced him with a pretty girl!” Mrs. Kang says, opening her arms in B’s direction.

“Mom, this is B. She’s a childhood friend of Hyuka’s, and she just transferred to MOA.” Taehyun says, formally introducing B to his mom.

“Hello, Mrs. Kang. It’s really nice to meet you.” B says brightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too, dear. And it’s auntie Kang, to you.” Mrs. Kang says, pulling her in and giving her a quick peck on the cheek as she did with the boys. “It’s refreshing to see a girl around these boys.  A rose among the thorns. May I ask where Yeonjun is today, though? I’m sure those girls sitting in the corner are crushed to see you walk in here without him.”

B looks confused for a moment before she scans the café and spots the group of girls Mrs. Kang was referring to. There was a group of girls sitting at a table that kept stealing glances towards them. They were wearing a school uniform that looked unfamiliar to B, and when they caught her looking at them, they quickly looked away and started whispering amongst themselves.

“Wow, you boys. Your popularity knows no bounds.” B says, shaking her head as she takes a seat.

“It’s highly understandable dear, you can’t blame them. My Hyunnie and his friends are a handsome bunch.” Mrs. Kang says, ruffling the top of Taehyun’s hair. “I’m guessing you’re all having your usual?”

The boys all nod. “Thanks, Mrs. Kang. Let us know if you need any extra help.” Beomgyu says, smiling at her sweetly.

“You just stay put, sweetheart. I’ve got all the help I need.” Mrs. Kang says. “And what will you have, dear?” she asks, turning to B.

“Oh, I guess I’ll just have what Kai’s having?” she says, not really knowing what was available but trusting that Kai’s regular order would be good.

Mrs. Kang nods as the other boys snicker. “Coming right up! Hyunnie, meet you back there in a few?” she asks. Taehyun nods just as Mrs. Kang disappears behind the counter.

“This place looks amazing, Taehyun. And your mom is lovely.” B says as they all settle in.

“We come here every day for a reason!” Kai says, putting an arm around B’s shoulders. “Plus, their egg tarts are the best. They’re my favourite. I order 5 almost every time I come in here.”

B laughs as she realizes what she just ordered. “Are you telling me I’ve got 5 egg tarts coming up, too?”

The other boys laugh. “You could’ve looked at the menu first.” Soobin says pointedly.

“I know I know, but I trusted you!” B laughs, looking at Kai.

“Trust me when I say that you won’t be disappointed then. You’ll love the egg tarts, I promise.” Kai says reassuringly.

B is about to say something back to Kai just as she notices Soobin has his phone pointed in her direction. She quickly buries her face in Kai’s shoulder as she realizes that Soobin was taking a picture.

“Hey, don’t hide your face!” Soobin says. “That would’ve been such a good shot!” he says, pouting.

“Um, Soobin? What’s with the pictures?” Beomgyu asks.

B and Soobin share a look before Soobin answers. “B and I are partners for this project in our creative writing class.”

“Ooh, tell us more. And tell me, why do you have to take pictures of my dear best friend?” Kai says, squeezing B’s shoulders.

B laughs as she realizes he was being a bit protective. “It’s a bit weird, but okay. Soobin, you tell them.” she says.

And so he does.

•°•

“Thanks for walking me home. You know you didn’t have to.” B says as they climb up the stairs of the building.

“Anything for you, Baba. I want to be able that I was here for you all throughout your first day at MOA. Plus, I missed you and I don’t mind squeezing in a few extra moments of Baba and Ningning time.” Kai says as she leads him up the stairs. “And of course, I want to make sure that you get home safe.”

B laughs. “The café is right across the street, so you didn’t really have to worry about that.”

Kai scoffs. “I know, but still. It’s your first time living on your own, right? Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if auntie and uncle hired private security guards to watch over you from a distance.”

“That does sound like something they would do.” B says, a bit worried. “I mean it sounds creepy and a bit stalker-ish, but at least I know I’d be safe.” she says rationally.

Kai laughs. “That’s true. Letting you live on your own is a big step for them though, and you must feel pretty good about it too.”

B nods. “I feel free.” she says, letting out a sigh. “I still can’t believe they let me do it after everything that happened last year, but I think that’s also partly why they let me do it.”

There’s a moment of silence before Kai says “You know, you never really got to tell me the specifics of what happened. I mean, I know things were bad, but-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it soon. But this is my stop.” B says as they stop in front of a door labeled 2B. “When it’s just us two, and when we have loads of free time, I promise I’ll tell you all about it. I promise.” she says, when Kai looks hesitant to let it go.

Kai lets out a defeated sigh before saying “Fine, but we have to catch up soon. Maybe this weekend? You know my birthday’s coming up, right? Maybe we could do something then?”

B grins and says “How could I forget? And sure, anything you want. Do you wanna come in, by the way? You thirsty? Want anything?” she asks as she unlocks the door and opens it a crack.

Kai shakes his head. “I’m good for now, thanks. You should rest anyway, I’m sure it’s been a long day.”

“Thank you for walking me home, Ningning. And thanks for today. I couldn’t have asked for a better first day with a better best friend.” she says.

Kai smiles. “No problem, Baba. Anything for you. See you tomorrow!” he says, giving her a quick hug before turning around and leaving.

B enters her apartment and locks the door behind her. Just as she makes her way to her bedroom, her phone pings with a few notifications.

She smiles as she sees the messages from the boys. They had exchanged contacts details at the café, but she was surprised to see that even Yeonjun had sent her a message even though he didn’t get to hang out with them.

She and Soobin also set up new Instagram accounts to use for their creative writing project, but she was surprised to see that he posted something so soon. She makes a mental note to herself to check and reply to each boy’s message later, but first she checked the Instagram notification from Soobin.

She laughs when she sees Kai’s comment and wonders how he was able to see the post so fast. She then decides to like the post and leave a comment of her own.

[devil-kindred]

Get to Know Me - raisinghellinotherworlds

Saw @pd3 do this and though I’d give it a go!

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1. Name : Siren (it’s a pseudonym!)

2. Nationality: American

3. Age: 27

4. Birthday: January 29th

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Aquarius

6. Gender: Female

7. Sexuality: Heterosexual

More below the cut

[[MORE]]

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

For the record this is the only recent picture of myself I like and this is about as much of my face as you’ll ever see bc I know my angles.

9. What do you/did you study?: I went to school for a Bachelors in Arts with and emphasis on Sciences but never finished it bc 1) college is expensive and 2) I don’t know what I want to do career-wise so there’s not a point in going back anymore.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: I’m a service desk associate at a department store. Something where I could deal with less people bc boy does this job push my patience sometimes.

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11. What is your birth order?: Firstborn/Oldest.

12. How many siblings do you have?: Technically four, but only two living.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: My immediate family. My siblings are closer to each other (but they’re only two years apart) but we get along. I also have a good relationship with my parents though I’m not as close to my mom as I could be it’s hard to forget the not nice things your parent say to you as a kid.

14. How many friends do you have?: Lots though only a few I see/talk to on a regular basis.

15. Your relationship status: Single.

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Intelligent, kind, has a sense of humor.

17. Do you have a crush?: I guess.

18. When was your first kiss?: WHY *sighs* I was... 25.

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: I’ve... never been in an actual relationship? I’d like to say serious.

20. What are your deal breakers? Being rude, cheating, and treating me like a child/you know what’s best for me/someone in need of saving (new flash, i am not your princess peach/some damsel in distress. If you need to rescue someone I am not your girl).

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21. How was your day?: It’s still early into the day and I go to work in about an hour and a half and I get to close so we’ll see!

22. Favourite food & drink: French Fries. Or anything with potatoes. I’m a fiend. And Dr. Pepper or Coffee.

23. What position do you sleep in?: On my side/stomach on the part of the bed that’s against the wall.

24. What was your last dream about?: It was... highly NSFT and no, I will not go into detail.

25. Your fears: I’m not a fan of spiders or bugs of any kind really, I hate clowns, and I don’t like thunderstorms. Or tornados.

26. Your dreams: Move, either out of state or out of the country.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: A bird, Momo.

29. What are your hobbies?: Writing, playing video games, and reading (fanfic or books)

30. Any cool places in your area?: I’m sure there are but I live in a town surrounded by corn and other farmland so... it’s anyone’s best guess.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: The other day when a customer stared at me for a solid three minutes when I explained that due to the pandemic we’re no longer offering one of our services in an effort to reduce contact.

32. What is your last regret?: That I didn’t realize the true nature of some people who I no longer speak to sooner.

33. Language/s you can speak: English, Spanish (I’m so rusty though), a little bit of French, and a teeny tiny bit of Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): I believe in my many things so yes.

35. Have any quirks?: Uh... I mess with my hair when I’m nervous? & the more nervous I get my (already high) voice gets higher and will go up several octaves the more nervous I get?

36. Your pet peeves: People in my apartment building slamming the front door all the damn time.

37. Ideal vacation: Somewhere with nice scenery and where it’s calm.

38. Any scars?: Quite a few small ones on my head from a car accident when I was just a baby (I went through a window- got a few scrapes but other than that was unharmed) and one on my hand (it’s on both sides of my hand too) from when I was toddler and got bit by a dog.

39. What does your last text message say?: “I’ll let you know when I get some gameplay posted!” I have a sideblog for casual TS4 gameplay. Was telling a friend that I was going to post new stuff soon.

40. Last 5 things from your search history: No thanks! It’s all just checking if a word is really a word and spelling anyways.

41. What’s your [Device] background?: Lockscreen is a wallpaper from FFXV ft. The Chocobros; Hope Screen is Sam & Evie.

42. What do you daydream about?: Writing mostly.

43. Describe your dream home: Decent amount of space, a library room to hold all my books... good lighting, comfy.... preferably NOT in the middle of nowhere.

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion: I am not a fan. Particularly of Christianity but everyone has their own beliefs and in that regard, to each their own. Just don’t try to convert me bc the answer is f*ck no.

45. Your personality type: INFP.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done?: Climbed onto the roof of the shed when I was little because I got something stuck up there.

47. Are you happy with your current life?: For the most part!

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life: Gymnastics, Ballet, etc.

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Lots of t-shirts, jeans, shorts, flats, boots, etc.

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black or Blue.

51. How would you describe your style?: Extremely casual.

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Kinda? I really need to cut my hair because it’s gotten so long it’s annoying. But I can put up with it until it’s safe again bc pandemic. My hair is not that important I assure you.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Oh God, could I be taller? Like at least 5’3”? Which is still teeny but better than my 4’9” ass.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos?: I have 3 piercings and three tattoos (two finished, one in progress)

55. Do you get complimented often?: Maybe? I’m oblivious to the point that you could have a flashing neon sign with the compliment written on it and it would probably still go over my head.

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Biker Chic!

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Neon.

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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?: Blessed Be - Spiritbox.

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like: If I like a song, I like it. But if I have to pick one, I know everyone hates Despacitio. I know, ok but I really like the original version bc I like the sound. Latin music always has a fun groove to it.

60. Favourite genre?: Rock & Metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Type O Negative, Pallbearer, Ice Nine Kills. Give me all the goth rock/metal and just fun metal in general.

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Oh boy... don’t hate me but I um... don’t care too much for T Swift? And I’m not a fan of country.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5: Devil’s // Door - VCTMS, Karasu - The GazettE, Path - Apocalyptica, I Walk the Line - Halsey, Drumming Song - Florence + the Machine

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kinda play bass but I’m still learning so it’s just like... the very bare basics.

65. Do you like karaoke?: I’m very self-conscious so no.

66. Own any albums?: Yes, though majority are digital.

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Yes. I have it on for background noise in my room in which case I don’t pay attention to it, but I have XM radio in my car where I listen to Octane/Liquid Metal/Turbo.

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68. Favourite movie/series?: The Dark Knight trilogy or Hellraiser or Nightbreed.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Horror, Sci-fi, and fantasy.

70. Your fictional crush/es: Too many. Look at my OCs and their SO’s and you’ll find a bunch of them.

71. Which fictional character is you?: My friends would say Mira Jane from Fairy Tail. My bestie says Mercedes from Fire Emblem Three Houses (minus the devout part bc... I do not have nice feelings re-religion. You do you though!).

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Yes, and once again you’ll be reading for eternity. So I’ll sum it up as too many to list.

73. Favourite greek god?: Apollo.

74. A legend from where you live that you like: It’s said that before big disasters happen in the town I live in + the surrounding areas, that you’ll see a panther. Supposedly one has been seen before at least 4 different bad things that have happened over the years. I’m in the midwest though so take that as you will.

75. Do you like art?: I do but I don’t really have a favorite. ... I am kinda partial to Van Gogh though.

76. Can you share your other social media?: I have a Pinterest but since my other social media has my name (which I also share with an OC whoops. That’s what I get for being indecisive and going the first name the name generator gave me) I’d rather not. If you ask and we’re friends I’ll probably give it to you but...

77. Favourite youtubers?: I don’t really watch too many anymore but I’ve been watching a lot of jacksepticeye’s gameplay. Aside that I tend to just watch channels like PlayStation Access or Outsidexbox.

78. Favourite platform?: Instagram

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: More than I should, I’m sure.

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? Uh, if I had to list them all you’d literally be reading this for eternity. To sum it up, I mostly play RPGs/JRPGs, open-world, survival horror (my fave), and a few (emphasis on few) FPS. Favorites are (once again with a limit): Bioshock, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Until Dawn, Silent Hill 2, and Fatal Frame.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): do you know how f*cking hard this question is as someone who’s a bookworm? Ok, ok um... Gotta have a limit or I’ll never shut up... um... Three favorites: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, Horns by Joe Hill, and American Gods by Neil Gaiman.

82. Do you play board/card games?: On occasion! They’re best with bigger groups but alas, my apartment is rather small and I don’t have a lot of space for multiple people so I don’t play them often.

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? No, but it sounds fun.

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween!

85. Are you into dramas?: As in, tv dramas? Kinda? I have a friend on lived in SK for a time and got into K-dramas so I watch them with her from time-to-time when she visits.

Would you use a Death Note if you had one?: No.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Oh boy... make everyone get along, ensure everyone could live their life to the best possible, etc.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Possibly.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: I’m going with mythical instead of strictly paranormal but... a vampire!

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: As in to my body? Cremate me. To my stuff, give my books to a good home and take care of my bird.

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: Most people call me by my middle name already since I got tired of people calling me the wrong name (& I like my middle name better) and insisting my first name was actually a nickname (it’s not, it’s the same as the musician I’m named after) so if I were to eventually be bothered enough, I’d have it legally changed to my middle name.

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: I don’t know to be honest. I’m fairly happy with my life so I think I’d just not switch.

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: 🌊

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true: I took karate classes for several years, I’ve never dyed my hair, I’ve had two jobs thus far.

-

95. Cold or hot?: Cold I guess? If we’re talking in reference to seasons give me cool (aka Fall).

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero because being a villain would mean I’d have to be mean to people and I can’t even pick the mean options in video games without feeling guilty so...

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: um... no? I’m not quite certain what this means but I’m going to go with no?

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: Shapeshifting!

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immortal.

[floralgothpersephone]

Countdown

Sooooo.... several.... um months ago, I was tagged by @jaygirl987  and this has just been sitting in my drafts... forever??? oops. Oh well, I am feeling in an over-sharing mood. So I am going to do it now. Felt confident in sharing, might delete later. Response is below the cut, because we are writing essays tonight. 

Rules: List 1 Insecurity, 2 Fears, 3 Turn-ons, 4 Life Goals, 5 Things I like, 6 Weaknesses, 7 Things I Love, 8 Tags  I am going to tag: @akai-vampire, @claudeng80, @bookloverfio, @bigprincess-energy, @peachdoxie, @ruleofexception, @infinitelystrangemachinex, @anais-mitchell

ONE Insecurity:

---People who meet me for the first time always say I am remarkable. But I don’t really agree with that at all, I still don’t understand where people get that from. I feel very desperately flawed and a moderately dysfunctional human doing my damned best with what I’ve got, and isn’t that just a normal state of being for everyone making their way in this life. And if people say I am remarkable, and it turns out to be true, then does that mean I am not normal??? How is everyone else living their life then? What am I doing wrong??? or right?? or differently??? How do I bottle up this whole remarkable thing and share it with everyone else?? Being called remarkable makes me fear for everyone else. Because if i am struggling this much, and people still seem to think I am amazing then does that mean everyone else who is struggling is failing in some reguard?  I have met so many other people in the world who are just as special as me, and if i am raised above that then what about all those other people? Aren’t they remarkable too? Kinda takes away the meaning of remarkable then, if everyone else is also remarkable. I don’t know. Every time I meet someone new and they call me remarkable it makes my skin crawl. What sort of face are they seeing me wear that makes it happen so often? I just try and be myself, and stay true to who I am in any given moment but then that makes their statement have more power? I hate it. Nothing makes me more insecure. I can go from full blown confidence down to nothing the moment someone says that about me. I know I am odd and don’t quite function right in society, and have a very different perspective on it because of my dysfunction, but that shouldn’t make me remarkable. There are too many other people in this world for me to be remarkable. 

TWO Fears:

---I may never get to see Amber Gray perform Persephone in Hadestown

---Cockroaches. Turns out I have an actual phobia of cockroaches. 

THREE “turn-ons”: 

---Silly Antics, like sheer outrageous, ridiculous things that make you laugh until you cry. Like, I fall in love a little bit with everyone who has ever made me laugh. So like, the more you make me the laugh the more I look at that and go, “mhm tasty”. Also, if we are not laughing at some point during sex then what even is the point??? 

--- Loyalty, Reliability and just being supportive and a good friend. Like, I am very much very very demisexual and while I can look at people and love their look and their aesthetics and be attracted to that, I need a very firm established relationship for like... years, before I am ever actually interested in letting them into my bed. I need some definite proof that they are in this for the long run before I can let my sexuality come into play.  

---Being crafty and creative. Seeing someone make a very nice craft gets me all worked up in ways I can’t quite describe. But every time a partner of mine starts a project and is making things I want to jump their  b o n e s. 

FOUR Life Goals:

---Get my ass to fucking Greece and like. Stay there. For months. And just travel??? And like, take my time, no rushing around to do every single thing. I want to go to these places and be there for so long that I can just sit and be. 

---B a b i e s. Dear lordy if you look at every major decision i have ever made in my life, it has all lead up to the fact that I want to have kids, and I want to have a family in a very specific supportive and stable way and I need to complete these things before i can have my kids. BUT BOY THE HORMONES ARE STRONG AND I WANT THEM NOW. 

---Can I put travel twice? Travel is so important to me. I have to see the world, I need to map it. I need to see all the different types of humans and cultures there are in the world and I need to experience what there is in this life before its all over. 

---I have this home I like to dream about, its constantly changing, but its small, while having enough space to breathe, covered in plants, an entire wall that is just a bookcase to store the entirety of Alex and I’s mug collection (we are looking at least 80 mugs between the two of us currently). A claw foot bathtub in a room full of windows that is just a glorified greenhouse really. comfy reading nooks and places for play, covered in nothing but soft blankets and cushioned seats. A cat or two lounging around among all the soft places in the sun light. Walls covered in cork boards so that I can pin up hundreds of pictures of the family I have built for myself. Little foot steps running around from kids playing, and having my partners home with me to cook and raise the little ones together in a family and a community. I just. I just want that little domestic haven of something calm and secure that I never got to have growing up in my life. 

FIVE Things I Like:

---Pottery!  (my craft of choice, I’ve been making pots for 17 years now and it never gets old) 

---Plants! (I live in a small jungle! I’m a plant witch! I love my plants! They are my only friends some days! But thats okay, I take care of them and in return they take care of me.) 

---Places! (I’m a map maker, I love learning about the identity of a location both on a map and within the human mind. How amazing that a collection of humans create an identity for a geographical space separate from other all the other geographical spaces. That’s wild! I want to learn what makes them all different forever!) 

---Purple! (My hair is purple, its been purple since I started grad school! I flirted with pink hair and orange hair last year to try on different types of variety and see how that fit but I am back to purple and I am back to my normal skin! My purple hair is the source of my internal confidence and a major point of my identity) 

---Music! (I am not sure I  would ever be able to navigate my own mental landscape without the aid of music guiding me through all my different emotions and feelings so that I could have a safe place to experience them without fear of repercussion) 

SIX Weaknesses:

---I over think everything (case and point, this post, whoops) 

---An open opportunity. Like, if I am given an opportunity suddenly that wasn’t previously available and wouldn’t be available in the future, I will move mountains to make it happen. If I see a window to be able to do something with a time limit I am jumpin as fast as I can to get through that window before it closes. I think its because I grew up with zero opportunities in my life when I was little so somewhere in my bones I believe that every opportunity I get is rare and special thing and if I don’t take it now then I won’t ever get another one. Sometimes its exhausting but I can’t honestly say there is a list of things that I could have done that I didn’t? I have very little regrets in that regard. 

---I am willing to see and recognized my flawed personality traits, but rarely ever actually do anything to fix them. I am a big of a believer in accepting yourself with all the flaws (part of the side effects of recovering from perfectionism) but that mentality has a different problem... in which you are so comfortable with the problems that you don’t have any desire to fix them? Yeah.  

---Um, I have a major weakness for brown eyed, brunette girls and have fallen waaaay too hard for too many of them in my life for it to not be a thing (that Alex teases me relentlessly about). Honestly the list is long, but good news. Fiona is on that list. <3

---Potential. I have a weakness for potential, sometimes that manifests in craft materials. (Oh I could make this into this other thing!) So I have quite the collection of crafting hoards. I rarely buy plants when they are big because I am far more interested in getting a small plant because of it its potential to grow into something. I love love love love working in clay because there is just SO MUCH potential for it to become really ANYTHING???? Its amazing!!! Like, if you imagine in there is a way to make it real. And I am obsessed with that feeling. 

--- I have a weakness for cream. I like half and half in my tea. I like whipped cream on my waffles. I like straight up cream on my strawberries. I like clotted cream on scones. I like creamy milkshakes. The creamiest of cheeses. If its a cream based sauce I’m in. Just. Cream. 

SEVEN Things I Love:

I just now realized that there is a difference in the lists for “like” and “love” LOL there is no difference to me. I have no moderation, I either love something with my whole heart or not at all. So lets wax some poetry on things I have already listed, because the things I like I also love. 

--- Okay, pottery, so like, Pottery is amazing??? Because you take dirt!!! like muddy gross squishy dirt!!!! and you mold it into something you like???? And then you FIRE IT!!! Like how metal is that???? You are creating something from DIRT. And on top of that, it lasts FOREVER. like, people hundreds of years from now are gonna be digging up our civilization and our computers are going to be dead, our papers and paintings: dead, our books? Hopefully not dead. But whats going to be left is our city foundations, our places, our trash and our shitty broken pots. And goddamn, I am obsessed with looking around our world and just IMAGINING what these people in the far off future are gonna think. And there isn’t a single piece of pottery that I make in which I am not thinking those exact thoughts and trying to imagine what that person in the future is going to be like when they find this.

--- And on that note, places are just so fricking cool. Because I grew up in a mono-culture where the majority of the population belonged to the same culture and the identity of the place was a direct reflection of the people. But other places have SO MUCH DIVERSITY and I am just amazed and inspired about how you can take SO MANY PEOPLE from SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES and pack them all into a city, and then that city becomes its own culture??? and has its own Identity??? Like, New Yorkers, those people come from fucking everywhere on the entire planet, and YET everyone knows there is a New York culture that is just agreed upon? And New York has an cohesive identity to how it functions, and how it works. Just. How amazing is that. And Minneapolis, jeez, bless Minneapolis. Because it has the midwestern identity but its developing one all on its own. And it doesn’t have a National presence yet, so in a lot of ways its just developing its identity for the world and its just so amazing to see all the different ways that people provide input on how they want their city to develop, and with each step it comes closer and closer to a face it wants to display to the world??? Its like, seeing a teenage, trying out who they want to be and developing them self to become a real adult. And goddamnit I want to see Minneapolis into a fully mature Nationally known city. I can’t wait. 

---So plants, are like. The best therapy. Because plants don’t really talk, well okay I think they do, BUT PHYSICALLY, they don’t talk. And so in order to figure out what they need to you have to listen to them in a very different way then humans are used to?? You have to observe, and check-in and interact and just learn about a plant so that you can care for it. And I think thats exactly how humans are too, except we have this obnoxious thing called talking that sometimes make it difficult to actually figure out what is going on down below. Its easy for someone to say they are fine when they really are not. But plants don’t get to say that they are fine. When they suffer they do so silently and while they may want to scream for more water they have to let you know in other ways, drooping, changing color, dropping all its leaves in protest. And thats the other thing about plants too, is that every type of plant asks for help differently? How amazing is that. You have to get to know the plant on an individual level, there is no “one way fits all” fix-it for plant care. You have to know your plant. You don’t have to know all the plants in the world, just the ones you take into your care. And thats just so symbolic for me. And when I am taking care of my plants, I am taking care of myself too. Water for the plants, water for the Becca. Sunlight for the plants, sunlight for the Becca. Extra boost of fertilizer for the plants, extra boost of vitamins for the Becca. And I love my plants, even with their imperfections and wild ways of growing. Sometimes they get a whole lotta attitude in how they grow, and it isn’t picture perfect, but that doesn’t matter. Cause thats my plant! And its growing and thriving and I am so happy that its doing well! It doesn’t need to be the prettiest plant that ever existed. It just needs to live. And damn thats all I need. 

---Purple is just an amazing color. Like everyone has heard the poetry talking about the richness and royalty and the history that the color purple has. But for me? Purple was a color I was immediately drawn to as a kid for no apparent reason but that I liked it. And I was not allowed, because the color purple was Barney colors and my parents were so very concerned that the other kids would torment me (spoilers, the kids found other reasons to torment me, and I was just denied being allowed to wear my favorite color). And then there was the instance of my grandmother, who, lets be honest, doesn’t win any “good grandparent” awards. And she LOATHS the color purple. Just thinks its really ugly. And took every chance to tell me that whenever I went shopping with her or if she wanted to get me a gift and was looking for input. So i went through all these stages when I was little, only being allowed to like pink, but then internalized misogyny said that was dumb so then I chose blue to be my favorite color while completely denying that what I wanted was purple. So yeah. By the time college came around and I was an “adult” (lol) I was just like. Fuck this shit no one can tell me what I am allowed to like and claimed purple for everything in my life. and I mean. e v e r y t h i n g. Backpack? Purple. Every piece of clothing I owned? Purple. Jackets? Purple. ipod? Purple. Does the object come in purple? Yes. Well then that is the correct answer. When I broke down and finally dyed my hair purple (like I have wanted to do since I was little, but again, I was not allowed and can you imagine being a non-mormon kid in the little valley with purple hair in high school??? Fuck I would have been the anti-christ of all sinners.) But in Minneapolis it seemed like it would be far more acceptable and wouldn’t result in immediate social disgrace. So I did it. I graduated my undergrad and dyed my hair purple because I could. And it changed my entire life. No more wall-flowering. No more hiding in the shadows praying no one notices that you don’t quite belong. No more pretending that you don’t exist so that people can walk all over you as they pass by. When you have a wildly different color hair, you have to own it. There is no “oh haha, whoops” about it. You made that decision, you put the color in your hair with that intention. And now its there to stay until you cut it all off. And that was the kick in the butt for me. That was the thing I need to own my own self and to lay claim to my voice. And for a while, it wasn’t easy. It was learning a whole new skillset. And there was definitely a major time span that was just “fake it until you make it”. But I kept faking it for the sake of my purple hair, because every time I looked into the mirror it made me so happy I could cry. I wasn’t looking a the mirror nitpicking my reflection any more. I was just joyful, because my hair was purple and I loved it. So every time someone made a comment whether it was good or bad, I would be dying on the inside from having the attention on me. But I would pull out the big ole grin of joy that I wasn’t really feeling and be like “Yeah isn’t it great! Its my favorite color!” And the good comments would be happy for me, and the bad comments would be thrown off by my enthusiasm and usually go away. And at one point that big joyful grin wasn’t just a farce, and now, 9 years later, working for the federal government and people try and make a jab at my hair, I can just laugh and tell them how much fun having colorful hair is. And that they should give it a try too. 

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[manjuhitorie]

Hitori-Escape Tour 2019 concerts 10-13

The previous 1-9 concerts of the tour: https://manjuhitorie.tumblr.com/post/188358977881/ Shinoda on vocals and guitar, Yumao on drums, and ygarshy on bass. performing Hitorie’s songs as the trio.

The standard setlist was: 

01 Senseless Wonder 02 Shutter Doll 03 Nichijou to Chikyuu no Gakubuchi

MC, usually consisting of Shinoda sharing greetings with the crowd, and breaking the ice a little bit.

04 Namid[A]me 05 Garandou Mae Zero Banchi 06 Inperfection

MC

07 SLEEPWALK 08 Loveless

MC

09 (W)HERE 10 Gekijougai 11 Talkie Dance 12 Unknown Mother Goose

MC

13 Karanowaremono 14 Little Cry Baby 15 Ao 16 Polaris

Encore intermission + MC

17 Odoru Mannequin, Utau Aho 18 Rolling Girl

10 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/17/2019 at CLUB RIVERST in Niigata prefecture! Report!

SND “Everybody, everybody everybody. It’s all about love. Do you have enough love? Do you have enough love in you, do you?”

During the intro of Loveless before the bass comes in, ygarshy had his instrument muted as he tuned it. Within that time frame, Shinoda, with his handheld microphone in one hand, went over to ygarshy and slapped his cheek twice (inducing laughter from the crowd). ygarshy’s face was hidden behind his hair, but what kind of expression did he make I wonder...

●SND was performing with a handheld mic, up until the guitar solo when the staff brought him a guitar to play.

●Which was, Leader’s own jaguar guitar. SND used it throughout (W)HERE and Gekijougai after. The emotional screaming numbers.

●For a while ygarshy had his head hung, performing with his back turned away from the crown or looking to his side, but during Talkie Dance his inner switch seemed to suddenly turn on, and from then onward he was aggressively approaching front stage. ●Then the encore intermission MC chat. SND stands in his usual position, but for this Yumao comes up front and uses ygarshy’s microphone so he can be closer to the crowd. ygarshy tucked away behind him.

●Yuma at SND “So, you were nervous about singing at the start of the tour, vyr are you feeling better now?” SND “I’m used to it. We’ve made it halfway through the tour and all.”

SND “But ahh, one day I dream of walking on top of the crowd’s heads and bridging all the way to the other side of the floor." Crowd “Get on us! Ride us!” SND “Naw, I don’t want to do something that’ll make the internet angry.” Yu “You're chill enough to want to walk on top of people. That’s a good sign.” SND “Yeah?” Yu “We’re halfway through the tour right, and you’ve already gotten halfway on top of the crowd. you were sitting on and climbing over on the stage railings earlier after all! You’re halfway there, next up is the other side-” SND “Uhm-”

●SND and Yumao jested about a role swap between them and the crowd, how crazy it would be, with hundreds of people on stage and three down in the crowd…. Crowd “Let’s do it!” SND “We’d get banned from the venue!”

SND continued to ask the crowd how they were feeling, as to which the majority responded “Hot.” While Rie were feeling comfy on stage, thanks to the air circulation system they set up. SND “For once! For once the tables have turned! We’ve always been hot up here and not vice versa. Is this a sign, is the crowd⇆stage role-swap going to become a reality next!?"

●Continuing, Yumao had a story to tell. At the commercial area near Niigata station, he and yga went out for food at a seemingly normal onigiri izakaya bar. (Here’s the store they probably went to: http://onigirisenka.com)

Yu “We walked in, we sat down, nothing out of the ordinary. But after a while we were like ‘? Why is the waitress still here at our table? What’s going on?’ We look around to see 5 girls who were blatantly hired based on looks alone, and one girl assigned to each table.” SND “You found your way into a god damn hostess club!”

Yuma “I'd be fine with it but this guy, ygarshy… Well, he's ygarshy. He can’t handle this kinda thing. We came to chat with each other but now there’s a girl barging into our conversations! And then she even asked us ‘Did you just come here on work~? You kinda look like you’re in a band~!’” SND “Hahaa you don’t wanna be caught up in that!”

Yumao loves to talk about this stuff, so on normal terms he would’ve just burst into conversation. But here he didn’t want to put yga in a traumatizing situation. So he bit his tongue and said “Band!? We can’t even play instruments!!”…. SND “Hahahaa.” Yu “Then she responded with ‘I love bands, I play the drums!’. Way to make it even more suffocating for me! She was talking to us so much that, ygarsh’s rice was gettin’ crusty.” ? “..Pot....”  yg, for the first time in ages, opened his mouth. He didn’t go up to the microphone or anything for this callout either, he just vocalized loud enough to be heard.

Yu “Pot!? Pot? I remember now... We had beautiful white rice inside of a pot, drying up!” The price was of your average izakaya, despite the hostess part too. SND “~~~” Yumao “.….Let’s go again”

●Yumao “Alrighty then let’s play...”

SND “Ah did you hear... It’s, an emergency it’s an emergency ygarshy! Apparently like 50 fire ants were found in Tokyo Harbor.”

yg *>>>BWOOOON<<<<* 　*It was in the news that yesterday. 50 poisonous specimens which could’ve easily been queens fertilized, + their offspring could’ve easily spread further into the country, was a fright. Especially for those with entomophobia-. SND’s tweet Niigata concert: complete, thank you. Take care not to catch any colds y’all,,, We’ll be back. Next up is the city where Leader was born and raised, Kagoshima. Hope to see you there.

11 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/22/2019 at SR Hall in Kagoshima prefecture

SND “Y’all are from Leader’s city, and this all you’ve got?!? Dance more! Yeah! I’d expect nothing less from the city that made him!”

During Loveless this time, SND tried to kick ygarshy. And while SND was floundering on stage, being crazy as he bounced to the music, he hit ygarshy again. And he bumped into ygarshy on the way onto the stage after the encore break. ●Yuma came out wearing the new Hitorie sweatshirt to promo it today. SND questioned his capability perform through the heat, Yuma responded with guts to continue!  SND “Well, you’re locked in now!” Crowd “You’re so cute~!!! Yumao~!! ” Yumao “Thanks~~” SND “How many times will we do this!? “So cute~~!!” “Thankies~~!” “Awww~~!” “Thanks. “ ●SND moaned and groaned with good means to back it up: the heat in the venue was crazy again. SND still holds the near-death Takutaku as the ultimate trauma but- It seems that wherever Rie journey to, the temperature outside rises up into the high 20’s. SND “Everywhere I go it suddenly gets hot, so people have started to call me Matsuo Kashuuzou. Yet the other members and the staff all come along too, so why am I the only one being framed? He’s not in me!” 　*Matsuo Kashuuzou, dubbed the fire fairy, is a former pro tennis player who has an optimistic flaming soul, abd never stops shouting things like “light it up!!” He was such fire that once upon a time on the internet he was memed to be the origin of urban heat island and global warming etc. ●Crowd “Did you eat Shirokuma ice cream?” (*A treat which is sold nationwide, but originated in Kagoshima). SND “No, but our cameraman Nishimaki did.” 　‘Nishimaki doesn’t tag along for the whole tour, typically he’s only around for the first and last shows. So Leader’s hometown really was a special one... ●Yumao took SND’s water bottle, gazed at the label and got the crowd to cheer the name of it: “Zaihou!” with him. “It’s a local but, famous mineral water provider. Cool.” Yu “Whoop” *Proceeds to throw the water bottle back at SND* ((What’s up with Yumao showing his wild side these days)) ●SND conveyed a sweet spot for the sashimi there, but since it’s something of taboo to eat such raw food up mid-country in Tokyo... “Don’t post what I just said on Twitter okay, the twitter police are out there, don’t expose that I eat food raw.” ●Yumao went up to the mic in the front but fairly quickly shifted back to his in the back; apparently because he wanted to be in range of the electric fan set up there. ●SND resisted drinking yesterday to preserve sober sanity before the concert, while next to him Yuma and yg were whole hog on “Beer! highball! beer!” “I now understand what it’s like to be on the other side, to be the one surrounded by drunks instead of being the loggerhead.” Yumao then begins combs his hair back with his fingers* “Ahh~~ so gwood~ delish~” SND “Is.. Is that supposed to be me?” Yumao “I’m topped off~” “Ahh I drank like a dream~~ *still holding his hair up*.” SND “Oi! If you’re gonna mimic me then at least raise the production value!!”

●SND “Alright Let’s perform” Crowd “Yumao you’re so cute~” Yu “Alrighty!” SND “You’re getting a life’s worth of cutes. In response to being showered in cuteness, all you have to say is ‘alrighty’ now?!?” Yu “..Alrighty!!”  (Disclaimer: he was announcing that he was alright and ready to start). ●SND “ygarshy, you know what sandbags are, right? yga *Nods*  SND “Apparently those are stuffed with a bunch of cloth, not sand?” yg ..... >>*BWWOOON*<<

SND’s tweet “Kagoshima concert: complete, that was crazy! How did you fare? I was fucking hot, thank you all so much. We will be back.” Also SND’s drawing was on display at the merchandise booth: https://en.deli-a.jp/products/item_Info.php?itemID=846

Nishimaki, the photographer, tweeted "It's been 6 or 7 years since I was last in Kagoshima, time well spent. Next is Fukuoka!!"   Megane Hirai, Rie's trusty trusty sound engineer, went to the concert and posted this too:

“Many emotions were felt during the 2 days I spent Kagoshima As I watched each song, The way he strummed his guitar right adjacent to me The way I would jot critiques as he sung his lyrics from the other side of the glass The way I would hear him say “Then how about this!” as we practiced trial and error with each mix The sights from those days would come flooding back. There’s different feelings and means of acceptance For me, going forward, I’m going to keep supporting these four”. 

12 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 10/25/2019 at SR Hall in Kagoshima prefecture

The concert was a musical marvel, Rie never cease to amaze... But I'm hopping right into the intermission chat. Because, after they left Kagoshima they stayed at a vacation lodge in Aso Kumamoto....!! Antics ensue! Shinoda “The sheer amount of flying ants the size of peanuts out there left me squealing, I’m really bad with bugs, but they didn’t faze Yumao at all” Yu “In the end it's only ants? No matter the size, right? And then I was bored, and also the air in the room was suffocating so...” SND “This fucker started opening the windows!”  Yu: “Yeah I opened them all up.” SND: “One guy who hates bugs and another who hated the indoor air, the worst combo.“ Yu “Ultimately we BOTH started sneezing like crazy and closed them though.” Yu “I'm exhausted though. The goal was to go there for a vacation, but, cause I drank too much the day before or whatever, I played around so much..!  Do you know how attics in the log lodges are like? A bunch of pillars? Of wood? coming together? What are they called? *Makes hand gestures to try to shape it out*" Crowd “Beams!” Yu “Yeah, beams! I dangled and swung from the beams up in the lodge roof. When yga walked through the door, he was in for it! “What a surprise~”, he laughed after he got a spook!” SND “Yumao was like a monkey.”  Yu “It sounds like I was the only one playing around but, this guy! He doesn’t talk about it much in front of you, hey he doesn’t talk about it much in front of us either but. ygarshy was jumping all over the beds! From asocial to bouncy. He was playing around more than us!” SND “As soon as we came back to our 3 bed lounge after a drink with the crew, I see these two bouncing on them. yga looked like a fish the way he was twisting his body.“ Yu “He still had his usual emotionless expression, even when he was beautifully bending." SND “He played a lot eh? He had the damndest smile when he took fireworks in his hands…”  Yu “He’s so mean sometimes, he smirkingly creeped up behind Shinoda and stuck fireworks right against his ankles! It took SND a bit to notice, but when he did... Boy did he scream! And yg doubled up with laughter!” Yu “It had been raining outside then too, so we were doing them under the small awning outside. When SND realized what ygarshy was scheming, he had ran away shouting “It’s hot it’s hot!!”, but then found himself shouting ‘It’s cold!!!’ out in the rain.” SND “I was hit with hot and cold element attacks both at once.” Yu “Don’t do try this at home now!” SND “Ahh yg don’t look so gloomy! Seriously we have no idea how you’re feeling over there....” ��Yu “He laughed the most back when he saw me dangling though~!!” SND “That’s why we're saying yg, stop looking down, put your chin up!” ●SND “So uhhh, ygarsh, please share with us a few words about the Fukuoka Soft Bank Hawks victory!”  yg *>>BWOOON<<* 　*The Hawks are the pro baseball team of the prefecture, and they just won the entire Japan Series that week. They’ve won for the past 5 years straight now too. ●Cameraman posted the “Early winter fireworks”.

●Rie’s manager too posted:  The Kagoshima live, Kumamoto Aso, the Fukuoka live. Fireworks to bring the summer to a close. So many things to make our venture to Kyuushuu a heart-wrenching one. Good night😴💤 ●SND’s tweet: Fukuoka concert: complete, thank you. Baritone felt great to do today. I think it's been a long time since I last played on a high stage,,, Or has it been? Has it? Nonetheless I performed with my feelings at full power. Thank you so much.

13 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/6/2019 at LIQUIDROOM in Tokyo prefecture. The first one.

From 7 years ago till now, our dreams are still relentlessly crying out their first words evermore!!

●Yuma’s mom, Yurika was spotted at the venue! The family of two does live in Chofu of Tokyo after all.. Tabuchi of Unison Square Garden too. They sat in VIP seats. ●There were flower bouquets on display inside the lobby, one from fans and another from the Hitori-Atelier staff. ●Among some of SND's snazzy mid-show quotes were him screaming “A banger? An epic masterpiece? That's what you're about to hear... Karanowaremono, a present from Leader.”

●“I think I might be getting too old for this.” *Proceeds to do heartfelt vibratos, physical tricks, and giggle tons during the encore break! They didn't talk about the DVD which had released two days prior, but they did delve into some Hitorie history.... yga had recruited SND, who within 0.5 seconds of being contacted said “I'm in!” He didn’t know wowa’s face back then so he was nervous, but when the crew got on a skype chat and wo shared the first mp3 files, SND thought “This is the start of a revolution”... He was excited then, and that excitement lives on. ●SND “It’s been like, so long since I’ve last performed in Tokyo. Yumao you’re out doin’ truckloads of stuff, ygarsh you're doing the Wasure-whatever stuff.. But all I do is draw manga! I’m either stuck at home or in another part of the country! The last show we did here in Liquidroom was the nexUs with Passpied, and our last solo one was, 5 years ago?" Yu “Yeah, the one with a video up on Youtube, back when I was still performing in T-shirts instead of dress shirts.” ●Yu "At our first tour date you were so nervous about singing weren't cha SND. You were like 'Don't put me on the same level as you guys, work harder...’  But now you're fine haha! ...I've started to tease SND.  SND "Though backstage I tease you." Yu "When? :O "  SND "....Thinking about it, I don't really, do I-." ●They talked a little more in detail about their "relaxing" retreat to the Aso resort, which they had first mentioned in the Kagoshima MC up there ↑ .  yg came out of the bathroom, to see the back of strange black-haired drunk swinging from the wooden beams of their remote cottage. He was so scared! Until he realized the perpetrator was a restless Yumao. ●The story of when the trio were lighting firework sparklers and yga stuck them against SND’s ankles. SND “I didn’t even notice the flames until brown hair came into my line of sight.” Yu “And yg even had his phone ready! He recorded the entirety of SND's panic: from him running away from the heat right into the rain, to him shouting out there in cold.” SND “Ain’t he a freak psycho killer....  What are you even thinking about as you listen to us right now.” …Awkward silence. yg remains.

●Yu “In the cottage we were watching Mito Kōmon, the historical drama, ‘cause it was coincidentally playing on TV. Komon is supposed to be this hero of justice yet, he was taking down enemies with real underhanded tactics, it got SND and I cackling so hard. We kept calling out 'Ahh so underhanded! So underhanded!’ yga had been silent so I we assumed he wasn’t watching... But when the end credits hit, he spoke up to tell us “That was entertaining”. SND “So he actually was watching! I thought.” Yu “He does tell us things like ‘Today’s MC chat was long’ after shows too.” SND “Then you do it nice and concise yourself, I say!” ygarsh then turns his face to look right at SND* SND “What are you looking at... Wait, don’t look at me with those sparkly eyes...! Don't, don't...!!” ●Yu “Ahh. We haven't changed a bit huh…. I’m always like ‘wooAHHH! *💪 poses*’ levels of excited, SND is like ‘OY VEY SHUT UP!!’, and yg silently watches over us." ●Before they went back into the show Yumao promoted the merch. He uses the pouch to store his drum supplies, he likes it a lot, and he modeled too. To show us how the logo gets covered by the hood on the sweatshirt, he pulled it over and off~ over and off~ his head.

●Then the usual...  SND “As soon as we get home and already, Masashi Tashiro got arrested again, did you hear?“  yg *>>BWOON<<* 　*SND is using the news for this one. The celeb has gotten arrested countless times now for drug possession. He'd gone to rehab, and recently he’d been publishing books/posting videos/doing lectures to teach people about the horrors of meth but.. He's truly proving how fearful it is.. SND tweet: Tokyo concert: complete, thank you so much. Being up on the Liquidroom stage after so long moved my heart. We’ll be at Liquidroom again next week, hope to see you there. Though Takamatsu comes first!!

[callunavulgari]

“Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together.”

Heather’s Top 50 Songs of 2019!

dark night — philip sheppard // curse of the i-5 corridor — neko case // way down we go — kaleo // almost — hozier // dancing in a room — ezi // epic (pt ii) — anais mitchell & justin vernon // spanish sahara — foals // obstacles — syd matters // tom thumb — bitter ruin // wolves of the revolution — the arcadian wild // epic (pt iii) — anais mitchell, justin vernon // the spine — darren korb & ashley barrett // don’t think twice — hikaru utada // face my fears — hikaru utada // waves — chloe moriondo // ashes — bear mccreary // wake up, moving on — kevin penkin // paper boats — darren korb & ashley barrett // call off your ghost — dessa // power over me — dermot kennedy // a future for the krogan — christopher lennertz // mine — bazzi // bite — charlie cunningham // wait for me — andre de shields // birds — imagine dragons & elisa // crazy — patsy cline //  bury a friend — billie eilish // the seed — aurora // eleventh dimension — julian casablancas // sunflower — post malone // what’s up danger — blackway, black caviar // bad guy — billie eilish // elevate — dj khalil // must’ve been — chromeo // dark matter — les friction // lark of my heart — eliza rickman // dancing on my own — robyn //  hungover in the city of dust — autoheart // season of the witch — lana del rey // bird song — juniper vale // paradise valley — honey & the sting // my hallelujah — autoheart // furthest star — dirt poor robins // play dirty — kevin mcallister // it’s quiet uptown — kelly clarkson // pas de deux — michael abels // i got 5 on it — michael abels, luniz, mi // one day more — les mis cast // into the unknown — idina menzel, aurora // show yourself — idina menzel & evan rachel wood

short version | long version | youtube | spotify unwrapped

long version will lead you to the 165 song, 10 hour and 34 minute playlist which i’ve been slowly adding to since january. short version will lead you to what you see here. youtube will lead you to the playlist you see here but... wait for it... on youtube. mostly because i know not everyone has spotify. spotify unwrapped will lead you to a mixture of the long and the short version, which is pretty bloated with austin wintory songs because those are what i listen to when i write or read usually.

the long version is much improved in length from last year, which was 261 songs and 17 hours, but that’s mostly because august through december i was pretty bad at keeping track of the music that caught my attention. whoops.

and under the cut is me ranting about music, like usual. enjoy!

i. dark night || philip sheppard *instrumental*

This was my absolute favorite from the Detroit: Become Human soundtrack. I tended to prefer Kara’s songs most because they were gorgeous and haunting and just plain fantastic. Connor’s songs were mostly listened to while writing for the fandom, but Kara’s songs were what I kept coming back to. ii. curse of the i-5 corridor || neko case So I left home and faked my ID I fucked every man that I wanted to be

Sometime in January, I fell in love with eighteen wheels on an uphill climb, which was a 91k hank/connor wip by blackeyedblonde. Hank’s a trucker. Connor occasionally dabbles in sex work to keep himself alive and moving. But like, it’s so much more than that? Anyway, at some point the author linked to this song. I think it may have been on tumblr, but I fell in love with it and neko case.

iii. way down we go || kaleo Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

Speaking of Detroit: Become Human (sensing a theme?), this fanvideo is one of my favorite things in the world. I had it and a couple other fantastic videos like it playing in the background while writing for the fandom. This video, in fact, is what finally made me go in search of the game. iv. almost (sweet music) || hozier The same kind of music haunts her bedroom I'm almost me again, she's almost you Wasteland, Baby was a thing that happened to me. Which would have already been enough to get it on this list, but I also listened to it on repeat while writing my first DBH fic. v. dancing in a room || ezi I know you notice, notice me I might be broken but it's not showing It's how I'm copin', copin' I don’t actually remember where this one came from. I know that sometime when March is still a bit cold, I listened to a playlist on spotify that I can’t find for the life of me. It had a lot of the songs that are about to come up on it, and before I started exclusively listening to audiobooks while I got ready for work in the morning, I listened to random fantastic playlists. vi. epic (pt ii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon And suddenly Hades was only a man with a taste of nectar upon his lips

Hadestown was also a thing that happened to me. This song makes me fucking weak. All of the lyrics are great, the whole song is gorgeous and haunting and so perfect it hurts, but those lyrics above are just *chefs kiss* vii. spanish sahara || foals Forget the horror here Leave it all down here It's future rust and it's future dust

Sometime during the spring, I played Life Is Strange and had a million and one feelings. I played both options for the ending and each one was gut wrenching in its own way. I think I still prefer the one where Chloe lives, but this song has literally haunted me ever since.

viii. obstacles || syd matters Someday we will foresee obstacles Through the blizzard, through the blizzard And this is the song that plays if you make the other choice. Again, SUPER TRAGIC, but also you know. You get to keep your girlfriend. ix. tom thumb || bitter ruin And I know I'll be burnt, but I can stand a flame or two to catch you

This was one of the songs that I discovered on the mysterious spotify playlist! Something I’d forgotten: I discovered Hadestown off of that playlist. Thanks, mystery playlist. You gave me all the ear worms. x. wolves of the revolution || the arcadian wild You're trapped inside of your own heart It's a spectators sport, just play your part You guessed it - from the mystery playlist. They’re all very reminiscent of the Hadestown soundtrack. Vaguely eerie, kind of haunting, a lot beautiful. Makes you feel like you’re a forest creature living on the edge of the swamp. You know: the aesthetic. xi. epic (pt iii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon Where is the treasure inside your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his hat in his hands? Who stands in the garden with nothing to lose I thought about only including this one instead of including part 2, but in the end I loved both too much to choose. Hadestown, man. I hope it comes to Ohio at some point in the near future. xii.  the spine || darren korb & ashley barrett Fingers tied themselves in knots around the heart It beats in time I see the spine of the world

I have never actually played Transistor, which is fucking tragic because I listened to basically the entire soundtrack over and over again for the entire year. There’s at least one more song from the game on this list, but it is really wonderful. Haunting vocals, perfect for writing or reading or driving.  xiii. don’t think twice || hikaru utada I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed It'd take this long, it'd take this long Hi, I played Kingdom Hearts 3 this year. And I cried so fucking much. I had some issues with the game, namely how the ending was such a clusterfuck of boss fight after boss fight and emotional character arc resolutions so it all felt kind of rushed? But the gameplay was superb, the selfie thing was ingenious, and I did cry at least six different times while I was stressing my way through fighting boss fights with blurry eyes. xiv. face my fears || hikaru utada Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears Won't be long, won't be long, I'm almost here Watch me cry all my tears

So like, if you care at all you’ve probably already seen it, but the opening cutscene of KH3 was to Face My Fears, and I’m gonna be real honest here - I didn’t like it at first. I moaned and groaned about Skrillex and how it was nothing like Simple and Clean or Passion/Sanctuary. But it grew on me to the point that it was actually my most listened to song this year. Watch me cry all my tears, indeed. xv. waves || chloe moriondo Make me into more than a goner Perhaps a little bit stronger Thicker skin, less needy, And maybe to not bruise so damn easily, but you can't

I don’t remember where I found this song either? Maybe mystery playlist but probably not. Either way, it’s pretty and uh, I too want to slow the world down. xvi. ashes || bear mccreary -instrumental- Man, oh man, let’s talk about how good of a game God of War was. It was so good, guys. The game play was excellent, the world was gorgeous, and the storyline was interesting. And the music went so, so hard. Between Horizon Zero Dawn and the new God of War, I have basically been ruined for all other games. Also, dad protagonists, am I right? xvii. wake up, moving on || kevin penkin -instrumental-

Did not actually realize this was part of a soundtrack to a game? But it’s very lilty. Has that French quirky romcom vibe to it and I listened to the crap out of it in early summer. xviii. paper boats || darren korb & ashley barrett The river always finds the sea So helplessly Like you find me

Another Transistor song. I really love Ashley Barrett’s voice. I should probably at some point play the game. xix. call off your ghost || dessa I hope she makes you happy It's just a lot to ask to watch your future walking past me

This song played during one of the weather segments of Welcome to Night Vale and made me remember how much I absolutely adore Dessa. Her voice is fantastic and I love the way that her songs flow. Also, this song gives me personal feels. xx. power over me || dermot kennedy I wanna be king in your story I wanna know who you are I want your heart to beat for me I have absolutely no idea where I heard this one. It might have been playing on the radio while I was driving somewhere? I played it a lot during the summer.  xxi. a future for the krogan || christopher lennertz -instrumental- It’s been a while since I played Mass Effect, but this song came up on a writing playlist and I have been listening to it ever since.

xxii. mine || bazzi Running circles 'round my mind Even when it's rainy all you ever do is shine

Shrug emoji. 

xxiii. bite || charlie cunningham Stone cold faces let you keep you poisoning your blood Cut you open then you'll see poison in your blood

Also shrug emoji? Most of the time when I’m doing these there’s fandom connatations to half the songs, but these year I wasn’t heavily invested in a whole lot of fandoms so these are mostly just songs I listened to while I was a) driving, b) in the shower, or c) while reading.

xxiv. wait for me || andre de shields Ain't no compass, brother, there ain't no map Just a telephone wire and the railroad track Keep on walking and you don't look back

And here’s the last Hadestown song on the list. It’s just... really good, okay. Really, really good. xxv. birds || imagine dragons & elisa Seasons, they will change Life will make you grow Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry

I think there’s been an Imagine Dragons song on here every year since they came out with Radioactive. This is the only song of theirs I heard this year, but pairing their voice with Elisa’s was fucking genius because this song makes me feel the chorus in my soul. xxvi. crazy || patsy cline You'd love me as long as you wanted And then some day You'd leave me for somebody new I was at a bar, and my friend has just announced that he was getting married to his girlfriend of ten years in Vegas, on a ferris wheel, by an Elvis impersonator. We started listening to Elvis songs to figure out what he’d play, and then we got distracted listening to a bunch of old love songs. This one is more heartbreak than love, but I’ve always loved Patsy’s voice. xxvii. bury a friend || billie eilish Bury a friend, try to wake up

I was really slow to the Billie Eilish train. One of my friends recommended her music and it’s just so chaotic and fantastic that I can’t believe I didn’t fall for it earlier. This song in particular was a Billy Hargrove song for a while.

xxviii. the seed || aurora Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer Aurora’s got one of those truly lovely voices. Also I like songs about how the earth should eat humanity.

xxix.  eleventh dimension || julian casablancas 'Cause no one really cares or wonders why anymore Oh, I got music, coming out of my hands and feet and kisses

Back in 2011, when I was still watching Doctor Who, someone made this video which blew my little heart away. I rediscovered this song while we were driving back to Ohio from our annual beach trip and managed to get everyone in the car hooked on it for weeks afterwards.

xxx. sunflower || post malone You're a sunflower I think your love would be too much

Into the Spiderverse! Was so! Good! 

xxxi. what’s up danger || blackway, black caviar I like it all on the edge just like you, ayy I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em

So like, that scene, right? The one that had everyone losing their collective shit? I saw gifs before I watched the movie, and goddamn, it lived up to every single expectation I ever had. I made Nick watch it with me, and he groaned a lot because honestly he is not the biggest fan of super hero movies, but even he admitted that it was the best damn Spiderman movie we’d ever seen. It was powerful and clever and heartwarming and funny and the music and animation were both fan-freaking-tastic.

xxxii. bad guy || billie eilish I'm the bad guy, duh Can you believe that I actually didn’t know about this video until @nijuukoo did art? I mean, I’d definitely heard it and liked it before hand, but the fucking video, man. That pic of Vanitas showering Ven in hearts is still the background of my desktop.(It would have been the one of him sitting on Ansem while he’s doing push ups, but it didn’t work with my screen)

xxxiii. elevate || dj khalil I jump off this building to save these civilians My strength and my honor is trusted by children I'm ready and willing to fight all these villains No chaos or killings, my style is so brilliant I really, really liked the music to Into the Spiderverse.

xxxiv. must’ve been || chromeo I must've been high when I met you Out of my mind when I decided to love you

There was a Harringrove fic that I read during the summer that made the connection between this song and modern AU Billy and Steve. I thought it was @lymricks but maybe not. Either way - I listened to this for like three weeks straight while reading about Billy and Steve flirting at the pool. Ha! Found it - you, through half-shut eyes by @brawlite.

xxxv. dark matter || les friction Bring me your soul, bring me your hate In my name you will create Bring me your fear, bring me your pain You will destroy in my name

There was an Outsider fanvid. I tripped over it.

xxxvi. lark of my heart || eliza rickman Lark of my heart - dance in the dark and say you love me Lark of my heart - right from the start and say you love me

This one was another that I found on a random playlist while I was reading and I just love the rhythm of the song. I sat right up and favorited that sucker before I lost it.

xxxvii. dancing on my own — robyn I'm just gonna dance all night I'm all messed up, I'm so outta line Stilettos on broken bottles I'm spinning around in circles Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So there was that tumblr post that went around a while back where a bunch of subway riders who just got back from a Robyn concert started singing while waiting for the train and I just. It makes me so fucking happy. Like, I remember the night I clicked on that video. I’d never heard the song before, but I didn’t need to because the level of fucking joy and unity in that video literally brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes, humans are fucking beautiful.

xxxviii. hungover in the city of dust || autoheart We’re hungover in the city of dust So let our minds run round in circles While we figure it all out

I really adore autoheart. They did Sailor Song, which was on my Top Songs post last year and honestly, according to the plays on spotify, probably should have still been on my list this year, but alas - this is the abridged version. Every song I’ve heard from them I’ve loved. The entire bridge makes me shiver, it’s just so wonderfully executed.

xxxix. season of the witch || lana del rey You've got to pick up every stitch, The rabbits running in the ditch, Oh no, must be the season of the witch In October I watched Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and it was super spooky and really great and probably one of the best movies I saw this year? But like, also this cover by Lana del Rey was the best damn thing about it. Someone made a witchy video that was great too but I can’t find it now. xl. bird song || juniper vale Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together

I really like Juniper Vale. I found them last year when I stumbled across their cover of Singing In The Rain, and they churn out some really quality music.

xli. paradise valley || honey & the sting So you'll have to hold me down Could you just hold me down build the levees higher This song was always going to make it to 2019′s list too. It’s just too damn good. Thank you, Wolf 359. You’ve given me a gift that is still giving three years later.

xlii. my hallelujah || autoheart Thought I found a new religion In you who was I kidding There's nowhere to go Except for under quarantine

More Autoheart! Just listen to that melody! That flow! 

xliii. furthest star || dirt poor robins We'll find our hiding place Clear across the Milky Way Beyond the galaxy On the furthest star that we see

This song reminds me a lot of Muse back in their early days. I was half-napping on the couch listening to, you guessed it, a random playlist on spotify, and I liked this song enough to surface from the edges of slumber to favorite it so I could find it again.

xliv. play dirty || kevin mcallister Would you get the Devil this dance? Would you be a part of his plans? Now you got some blood on your hands

There was a fanvid. It was good and basically caught me up on Preacher. The song is also really catchy.

xlv. it’s quiet uptown || kelly clarkson Look at where we are Look at where we started Last year, this was on my list because of an EOS 10 playlist. This year it’s on my list because I still fucking love it. Also I saw Hamilton this year and it was really phenomenal. I cannot get over how good it was.

xlvi. pas de deux || michael abels -instrumental- I watched Us in late October/early November and this entire sequence was really lovely and eerie and just all around fantastic. I loved the mirroring throughout the movie, and it all came together in this stunning confrontation.

xlvii. i got 5 on it || michael abels, luniz, mi I got five on it

Us had a really good soundtrack.

xlviii. one day more || les mis cast One more dawn One more day One day more!

About a month ago I got to see Les Mis in theater and I cried like six or seven times. That is not an exaggeration I was a fucking mess. As much as I’ve adored every musical I have seen up until this point, I have never had a musical affect me the way this one did. It was incredibly powerful and the experience was worth every damn cent.

xlix. into the unknown || idina menzel, aurora Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls

Like, I know it’s cool to hate on Frozen because it got so popular, but Idina Menzel is a queen with the voice of an angel and I’m sorry, but the movies were good. Also, Elsa is very, very pretty and this shit was very, very gay. 

l. show yourself || idina menzel & evan rachel wood Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more

Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Elsa gets all the best numbers. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, folks. Happy listening.

[momtemplative]

Nine Days. (COVID-19)

To say day-to-day life has changed since I last posted (March 9)  feels like a gross understatement. Nine days feels like the gestation period of some unknown force that continues to grow.  

I’m writing, but my words feel like sheets of paper in a cyclone. Nothing cohesive. Self-judgment says, does anyone really want to hear what you have to say in the midst of this barrage of COVID-19 thoughts/opinions/posts/news? Then I shut up and write, even if it’s just something, even if it’s not pristine.

Nine Days, in list form:

1. Thursday, March 12, 2020—THE OUTSIDE TURNS DOWN. 

We get the news that schools are going to be shut down for many weeks, probably more. When that happens, the lighting in our house shifts. It’s as if the outside turns down, like half-drawn curtains. And those who live inside the walls of our little house—Jesse, Opal, Ruth, myself, and the pets— take on a fresh-rinsed potency, as if we know we are on the brink of something big and we are in it together.

2.  Friday, March 13, 2020—TARGET

We take a trip to Target. Ruth begs to wear her tap shoes, which I reluctantly agree to. The people at Target are amiable; nobody is concerned about keeping a distance yet. We are pushing carts as two-way traffic down aisles, brushing elbows, as we would on any large-crowd shopping day. Moms exchange nods of camaraderie, like fellow Harley drivers on the highway. The overall feeling is generous and very much we-are-in-this-together. What is different, what is startling, is the very, very low inventory. Some of the shelves are completely empty, (toilet paper, cleaning agents) which, in spite of the music, crowds and fluorescent lighting, feels eerie. 

The lines are 10-12 people long, cards filled to the brim, and even though I don’t hear one short-tempered word, most of the people in the lines are wrapped comfortably in the tiny glare of their smart phones. It’s amazing how deeply grownups crawl into those little screens, even in public. Ruth walks by them with her tap-tap-tap shoes, duct taped at the buckle and two sizes too big. They make a startling, gloriously sharp sound against the linoleum. 

Imagine a line of adults raising their gaze with each step of her foot, like a face-only version of the wave, a beautiful cascade of heads that rise to meet the sound. Each face spreads into a smile when they see where it originates: tiny girl, impervious to her impact, shiny-star tank top and tutu, like a Disney+ version of Madonna’s Like a Virgin.

Back at home, emails flood our inboxes with some variation of ‘COVD-19 closure’ in the subject line. The library. The Rec center. Stores dropping from Main Street like birds shot from a wire. Restaurants and coffee shops are sweating hard, offering discounts on gift cards for later and curbside take-out.

We are getting wind of the fact that we need to slow the spread of this virus so as not to overwhelm the healthcare systems—to ‘flatten the curve.’ We need to stay in as much as possible. Not be in big groups. Probably not see the grandparents for a while. Wash our hands like crazy, scrubbing while singing the ABCs from start to finish.

It sure looks as if we won’t be going to Target (where Ruth who touches every surface with all ten fingers then promptly rubs her eyes and picks her lip) for a while.

3.  Saturday, March 14, 2020—SHOULD WE??

Every out-of-house action feels strange and other-worldly. Even the most benign of outings suddenly beg the question, wait—should we?? Do we really need to?? Going to the kid-gym and kid-yoga just two days earlier suddenly seems outlandish. A planned gathering with friends that felt wonderful yesterday feels out of the question today. 

4.  Sunday, March 15, 2020—COMMUNITY.

There is an amazing video going around of a community in Italy who are quarantined, but still singing from their balconies as an etherial chorus. 

A family-walk around the block feels potent and perennially safe. Our next-door neighbor joins us with her dog. We wave at another family of neighbors who are perched on their porch in the sun, their toddler wearing the hilarious mirrored sunglasses of a studly lifeguard. Then we cross and take the bike path behind the houses that are on the other side of our street. Another neighbor exits from her sliding back door, her dog lurching out from behind her. Yet another neighbor steps out into the light wearing pajamas and with his small dog under his arm. Everyone feels hungry for sunshine and familiar connection, but we all keep our distance.

When I was 13, I took a spring break vacation with friends to Arizona, where we visited the “Biosphere2.” The headlines read: “Eight explorers join together in a daring, high-profile study of sustainability and the new science of biospherics—the study of closed systems that mimic Earth’s environment.” Essentially, eight people lived in a sealed-up dome, a mini-earth, for two years to study sustainability. We could see them all through the glass. I remember waving, though I don’t know how accurate that is. I think of that right now, as I wave to my friends through their windows. 

Even Opal is weighing her options. Just after lunch, she says to me, “I’m going to try and make Ruth my friend. We may be together for a long long time and I want to have fun with her.”

The girls laugh so hard at dinner tonight, we wind up calling a moratorium when they are unable to take a drink without spraying it across the table. This is very unusual.

5.  Monday, March 16, 2020—RAGE

The media is rich with photos of college kids whooping it up over the weekend for St. Patrick’s Day. Seeing photos of hundreds of young bodies smashed together in a bar makes my blood curdle. I can practically see the virus spreading. 

Let’s talk about neuroscience for a minute. The brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25. Therefore, to leave hundreds of thousands of 18-24 year olds to their own devices to make good choices around self-quarantining is like requesting the same from a litter of wild animals. Is there a psychiatrist out there observing this with some sense of concern? Where are the leaders in this? I don’t just mean parents. I’m also wondering about teachers, staff, the adults who own the bars, ANYONE who has some sense of perspective and enough maturity to help float those who aren’t as evolved.

Concurrently, parents are home from work, doing their human duty of staying home/keeping kids home to slow the growth of this thing. Healthcare workers are AT WORK so we can stay home and everyone can get a handle on this thing. Grr. It really is infuriating.

6. Tuesday, March 17, 2020—WHAT IF IT WERE MY IDEA?

Today I have a random memory of having insomnia for close to a year when I first moved to Colorado fifteen years ago. It was agonizing: the mealy brain that would wake me up with an indifferent shrug and leave me unsettled and restless for hours—a fate far worse than jolting into a leap of wide-awake!—left me feeling dead-brained and disconnected for weeks at a time. The only thing that helped me to recover was to pretend it was all my idea. I have no recollection of how that notion ever came to me but there it was. I’d wake up at 3am and force myself to say, well, super! I was hoping to be up tonight! I have so much to do, after all! Filing, for example, was a big one. Before going to sleep at night, I’d actually pile things by my bed to do when I’d wake up during the night. It positively worked. In under a week, I was sleeping like a mouse.

I got to wondering if that hypothesis could be applied to this COVID reality. Perhaps, I could say to myself, now is as good a time as any to face down some mortal fears and learn about what it’s like to live in quarantine with a four and a ten-year-old. I’m not talking about Pollyanna-Sizing in the least. Just talking about broader perspectives to keep sanity in check.

7. Wednesday, March 18, 2020—A FEW GOOD THINGS

Some parts of this feel tenable, dare I say nurturing. The first few days of this have felt like a combination of a snow day and a meditation retreat. It is part family love-fest, part novel bio-spheric experiment. The weather is warm and inviting so we triple our number of family walks and clock in hours in the backyard. (Backyard, oh how I love thee.) Time feels abundant and luxurious. The slow-drip news of this international trauma infuses the ordinary moments with a sense of urgency, of faintly (or not) facing our individual mortality. Each choice is whittled away by the updated COVID rules du jour. Gratitude lists brim with things that may have previously been taken for granted: health, family, running water. 

I clean the hell out of the bathtub today and enjoy every moment of it. I cannot for the life of me remember an instance when I took my time cleaning the bathtub like this, doing small circles on the tile like Mr. Miyagi. I typically rush through my cleaning with some sense of discontent, feeling that it’s taking up space that could be used for something worth relishing.

I typically feel paycheck-to-paycheck with regards to time. But now, time is one thing we have more of than we could possibly use. Usually, my brain has the feeling of being pulled down the road by pack of strong wolves. A lurching feeling. Now—not the case. I feel a shit load of feelings, but rushed and overwhelmed are not on the list.

While I clean? The girls are content reading books in their individual ways. Jesse is in the living room in the rocking chair he continues to scoff at, feet up on the rocking foot-stool, MacBook in his lap as if he’s rocking it to sleep. In that moment, there is a settled feeling inside the places where rushing and overwhelm are usually expected. This is one part I do not mind about the new norm.

8.  Thursday , March 19, 2020—SNOW / CREATIVITY IS REQUIRED FOR SUSTAINABILITY 

There is at least ten inches of snow on the ground—an abrupt change in weather—and I want to start drinking well before lunch. Cozy as it is, all I can think of is our lack of ability to escape into the out-of-doors. 

Yesterday I felt heavy and blue, like the adrenaline was wearing off and the novelty of our situation was waning. My face felt leaden and I was short-fused with everyone, making audible sighs of exasperation that drive me bonkers when done by someone else. I miss my friends. I miss my routine and my work and Sunday morning writing-then-yoga. I know everyone does, but I do too. I want my Big child to continue to enjoy being with my Little child without constant management. I want to know HOW THIS IS ALL GOING TO UNFOLD. 

Then, moments later, I am telling Opal how we need to try and be patient with each other. We can get what we need with kind words. We are a team. 

I am struggling to find balance. One moment, I am a parent who remembers that Opal feels the same feelings as I do around all of this, yet with less perspective and practice on how to be with those scary inner-bits. The next moment, I am fed up with her vague grumpiness and I just want everyone to work together dammit!

The koan is how to feel spacious in a scenario where there is very little limited space.

Today I awoke feeling brighter. Opal has a Girl Scout meeting over Zoom at 2pm. Something for the schedule that did not originate from a member of Grimes Home Base! Yay! We are both as excited as eager peaches. Facetimes, Skype, Zoom calls are going to be the wiring the keeps us tethered to our relationships. Such irony, when, not long ago, the internet felt like the very thing that perpetuated our universal disconnection. 

People are starting to get innovative with their use of the Web, and it’s inspiring as hell. Creativity will save us. Some of my favorite local musicians are doing “QuaranTours”—live shows on line. A famous kids’ book author is teaching the art of doodling. Late night Talk Show hosts are doing shows from their living room, with kids climbing on their shoulders and cheeks shiny without the help of a make-up crew.

9.  Friday, March 20, 2020—WE NEED A BROCHURE.

Last weekend, we invited our dear next-door neighbor over to watch Frozen 2 with us. She ate our Pirate Booty, sat on our furniture. The things you do with a friend on any given, normal day. This weekend, she texted to see if we wanted to watch another movie, this time with her fiancé who had been traveling last weekend. I felt the need to explain that so much has changed since last Sunday, at least for us. Had it for them? Our tactics had been distilled down to the essence. At this point, we have decided not to let anyone else in the house right now. They totally understood.

Then I ran into them while on a walk today. They were walking towards Elvis and I on the sidewalk and I crossed the street away from them, not at all realizing who they were. I was just doing my usual COVID-cross-the-street-to-give-room move. I was also absorbed in a Podcast. 

I crossed-back to see them. I was genuinely giddy with the prospect of their company. I realized I hadn’t been with any adult other than Jesse during the past week. I must've oozed with fervor! But, quickly I felt awkward because I was standing only a few feet away from them! I stepped back but that also felt wrong. Then I was aware of them being aware of me, and I thought, what is happening to us? These are my friends! But because we are not all on the same page, it can feel a bit clunky. Even still, our interaction was supremely satisfying. I wanted them to stay with me for the rest of my walk, but they had plans to go play Scrabble.

Oh how hungry I was for diverse conversation! Those few minutes on the sidewalk together were rich with talk-points and humor. Memorable. I’m still finding my way with enjoyable FaceTimes, but long-distance sidewalk chats are thus far my jam. I had a fantastic chat with a neighbor a few doors down while we were shoveling, and with another neighbor from my porch to her on the sidewalk. Both were far enough away to comfortably toss a softball. Both lasted only a few moments. Both were lavish with depth and hilarity, but concise, as if there were no time to waste.

March 20, 2020

Photos—Top: gel print by Opal. Middle: quick portrait by Ruth. Bottom: me rainbow-organizing markers (who has time for that on an average day??)

[nianderful]

nia’s 30 days of witchaversary (days 1-17)

um, oops?

i meant to do this sooner, i swear, but i’ve been very busy with work and other real life stuff this month

i actually wasn’t intending to do this at all, but since my initial plans to celebrate WITCH have kind of fallen off, i may as well jump on the bandwagon! i hope i’m not too late 😅

day 1: favorite guardian

orube! i absolutely adore this girl. she’s such a great character--appearing to be a hardened warrior but in reality is the biggest softie...while also kicking a lot of ass. i love her interactions with the guardians, i love the depth she has, and while i could gush about cedrube all day, they deserve its own space. 

honorable mentions go to....well, the rest of w.i.t.c.h., will and taranee in particular. i relate to both of them a lot (mostly with being pretty shy and socially awkward)

day 2-favorite villain

(will smith poses) THIS GUY. i know everyone and their mother loves phobos, but i am not Everyone And Their Mother.  i honestly think phobos is kind of lame

cedric on the other hand, is a different story. this guy’s a CHAD. he was the one Actually Doing Stuff in the first arc. HE was the one pulling weight during phobos’ scheme in the fourth arc, AND ludmoore’s in the fifth.

also he’s just a great villain in general; a consistent threat through and through, powerful as heck (unlike his tv counterpart who got his tail whooped by everyone) and do i even NEED to bring up him and orube? (i’m gonna get to them, i promise) 

day 3- favorite love interests

i honestly think all the WITCH bois are good but if i could pick a favorite....

peter! he’s just so good. a sweetheart, a looker, a great big brother.....he’s perfect. (like tadashi, ‘cept he doesn’t die)

look at him and corny being goofy. love is real and it’s in the picture above me.

 day 4: favorite pairing/ship

aww man this is a long time comin’ so let’s get it DONE

cedrube. always cedrube. forever cedrube. 

these two are just....so good. a twosome on opposite sides, brought together by their shared experience of being Fish Out of Water. orube brought out the best in cedric (his semi-redemption, anybody?) and cedric allowed orube to experienced something she longed for.

if only their ending was as happy as they are in this picture...

day 5-favorite friendship

picking all of w.i.t.c.h. would be too predictable, so i choose...

these two! i love how irma and hay lin are Those Two Gals, joking around when the others are being serious. these two are perfect together, and i love the scenes when they’re messing around.

day 6: favorite cover/promo/pin up art

the cover for issue 56!

ugh i love this. it’s gorgeous; the movement’s fluid, the expressions are on point, and it’s a tribute/celebration of the tv series! (particularly with the girls curled up in element colored balls; a reference to the toon transformation)

day 7: favorite issue 

had to go with the one that started it all, issue 1. this series has been with me for a long time, and i remember being so captivated with the first issue. i may sing the praises of precure, but w.i.t.c.h. was actually my very first magical girl series, and this issue was my very first experience with the genre. i will always hold it close to me. 

day 8-favorite special

the orube special! orube sadly isn’t a character that gets much play outside of her role as w.i.t.c.h’s ally/honorary guardian, but this issue gives us just that! we get to see her get a job, make friends, and learn a little more about how to be an earthling. 

day 9-favorite guardian uniform

i’ll pick taranee’s! 

it looks the most....practical to me. like, if i was a guardian, i’d wear something like this. also i ADORE the fact that tara keeps her glasses in guardian form. any other show would have them get magicked away, but not here. as a Black Girl With Glasses, it’s a detail i really appreciate.

day 10-favorite world/planet

um. kandrakar, i guess?

it’s pretty. 

day 11-something awesome

speaking of tara....

this moment from issue 4. another moment i remember vividly from my childhood, and one of the first scenes that shows us that taranee is not to be messed with. don’t play with fire INDEED. 

day 12-something that made me cry

i have yet to cry when reading this comic, but a moment that really made me sad was when will’s dormouse died

this really hurt, not just because it came after the hope spot of will’s dad going away, as well as nerissa’s defeat, but because ol’ dormouse had been a staple of the series to this point, and it was clear that he formed a bond with will. just a really cruel moment to end the second arc on. (but not in a bad way, of course)

day 13-something heartwarming

the last page of issue 20! 

issue 20 is a bit of a roller coaster for poor will; she’s slowly being manipulated by nerissa, to the point where she shuts herself off from the girls. on the side, we have yan lin beginning to worry about history repeating itself with the current guardians.

but then this happens, a moment that shows us that WITCH will not suffer the same fate as the team that came before them.

will just spent the scenes before this pushing away from her teammates, even attacking them; for them to say that they trust her irrevocably says a LOT about their faith in will, and the friendship of WITCH itself.

day 14-something that irked me 

everything about the arkhanta arc that doesn’t involve orube or the astral drops!

(reader beware, it’s about to get personal Up In Here. mentions of ableism to follow.)

we may as well start with the backstory of ari, because his relationship with his son and how it’s handled is going to be the epicenter of everything i’m discussing.

‘yeah once upon a time there was a happy farmer who had a kid, but oh no he’s nonverbal and can’t communicate! happy farmer is sad now” (also he may have told kandrakar to Fix It but Oracle Said No)

see the problem here? it’s okay if you don’t, because i’m here to explain!

basically the villain of this arc is an Autism Dad who thinks his son needs to be Fixed. he constantly angsts about the fact that his son doesn’t talk, smile, or say I Love You....basic whiny Autism Parent stuff. 

except we’re supposed to sympathize with him. we’re supposed to see him as a poor innocent man instead of, you know, someone who may be unintentionally hurtful with his woe-is-me-isms (also will insisting that he’s in the right...)

and as if that’s not irksome enough....

maqi gets cured in the end. he’s speaking, he’s emoting, he’s not The Broken Kid anymore!

yeah, uh, no. i have autism, and have exhibited some of maqi’s traits on a regular basis. (and it’s not just me, my little sister imani was nonverbal for a lot of her childhood. we didn’t even think she was going to be able to talk.) and as someone who’s felt like i was a Broken Kid, that some thing was wrong with me, and has wondered Why Can’t She Just Be Normal....this ending does NOT fly with me, and neither does ari as a character.

ari’s not a Sympathetic Sad Dad, he’s an ableist douchecanoe. there’s a REASON i compared him to autism moms. maqi’s “problem” isn’t that he’s sick or anything (the comic even SAYS he’s perfectly healthy!!) he just isn’t emotive or talkative....and for the comic to paint as something that has to be fixed is more than a little gross. i know the comic wasn’t intending to offend with this, but that’s exactly what it did.

thank goodness for orube and the astral drops, or this would’ve been my least favorite arc.  

day 15-something that needs a quick fix

um. i got nothing for this one. 

day 16-something that needs an overhaul

the arkhanta arc. either cut out the ‘must cure my son of his autistic-coded traits’ or create a new conflict all together. (like the whole maqi thing could’ve been fixed with simply giving him and illness or putting him into a coma!)

and like everyone else, i’d like a overhaul of new power and beyond.

day 17-something that needs to be resisted

sweet mother of monkey milk, the astral drops. i wanna see how they’re doing. i wanna see what their lives are. do they remember anything, even secretly?

also visit orube while we’re at it, see how she’s doing post 5th arc.

[galaxy-whiskers]

I was tagged by @bailandonorris, thanks!

1. what is the colour of your hair brush? 

I have a silver paddle brush which I don’t use very often, a transparent and purple swirly coloured (honestly don’t know how else to describe) afro comb, and a regular black comb.

2. name of a food you never eat? 

Tuna, can’t stand it. To be honest, I eat most things if they’re warm, but VERY fussy when it comes to cold food

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? 

Definitely too hot! I still have a fan on in the winter at night time

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? 

Playing Animal Crossing, tried to catch some tarantulas because Flick is on my island but the dodos don’t seem to want to send me to any decent islands so my mission was unsuccessful

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

That’s a hard one... probably either Cadbury’s marvelous creations with the jelly beans and popping candy, darkmilk, or the one with oreos. Snickers are pretty great too, also Kinder Bueno and just Kinder chocolate in general. Basically, what I’m saying is I love chocolate

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? 

Yes, I went to the London 2012 Olympics to watch show jumping, football and basketball! Have probably been to others? Really want to go to Wimbledon at some point but not sure when I’ll be able to do that. Does dog agility count as sport? Seen it at Crufts multiple times

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? 

‘Night night curly shoes’ - a goodnight wish for my sweet doggo Ivy

8. what is your favourite ice cream? 

I’m a fan of coconut ice cream it has to be said, also honeycomb, and your standard Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough is high up there. Really specifically, the vanilla ice cream from the waffle shop in Cirencester. To be honest, don’t eat much ice cream, not my go-to food choice because I’m lactose intolerant and a lot of it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Has to be good!

9. what is the last thing you had to drink? 

Some water, absolute health right here (she says drinking her first glass of water all day after about 4 cans of Pepsi Max whoops)

10. do you like your wallet? 

I guess so, yes. Could probably do with a slightly more efficient one but it’s decent

11. what was the last thing you ate? 

A jazz apple from the fridge. We have no pink ladies which are the favourites but jazz are pretty tasty too

12. did you buy any new clothes last week? 

No, only virtual ones in Animal Crossing. I haven’t been clothes shopping in so long and doesn’t look like that will change anytime soon

13. last sporting event you watched? 

Honestly no idea, since all the sport has been cancelled for a while I can’t think what the last thing would have been. Probably Cheltenham races on the telly back in February or March or whenever it was?

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn? 

The classic, salty cinema popcorn. Honestly the best

15. who was the last person you sent a message to? 

Strangely, someone from my secondary school who I haven’t ever spoken to over message before. She posted our leavers video on her Instagram and thought I’d message since I’d been looking for that video for  y e a r s  and sparked a conversation! She never liked me much back in school I don’t think, she was popular and I really wasn’t so I never properly spoke to her. One of my friends had a bit of drama with her, absolutely hated her, but they eventually became best pals. Also her best pal during most of school really didn’t like me for some reason... anyway, had a nice chat, strange how friendly she seems these days

16. ever go camping?

Uhh well... I’ve been 4 times, 2 of which were for D of E and I can safely say I’ve never had a good experience. First time, the people in the tent next to us got arrested at 3AM for drugs or something, second time was my dad’s 40th birthday and my brother didn’t know he was allergic to nuts so eating a cake with mixed nuts on the top didn’t go down well for him... also went to a restaurant on the way there with my granny and got a caterpillar in my salad. Third and fourth times, let’s just say D of E was one of the worst experiences of my life, I’ll leave it at that... would really like to go camping again though to have a good experience, maybe change my mind on it? I don’t know, willing to give it a try

17. do you take vitamins? 

I go through phases, sometimes I take them every day, other times I don’t take them for like 3 months

18. do you go to church every sunday? 

I used to, but as I got older I slowly went less and less until I didn’t go at all. I lost faith I guess? Kind of didn’t feel I belonged there or believed anymore. I loved singing the hymns and our vicar was an absolute lad, we also got biscuits at the end of each service, but over time I decided it wasn’t right for me to keep going. Pretty much all the people that go to ours are your typical white, posh, probably homophobic and hate children type so that put me off. Also after everything that’s happened in mine and other’s lives, I slowly lost the belief in God. If all of it was true, why would these things happen? I guess also my scientific mind was constantly telling me there’s no proof. I think the only reason I went to begin with was because it was a family thing and as a child I believed pretty much everything that was said

19. do you have a tan? 

No, certainly not... used to when I lived in the Caribbean but now I’m pretty much white as a sheet

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza? 

A very difficult one... probably chinese? As much as I love pizza, it’s the same issue as the ice cream

21. do you drink soda with a straw? 

Nah not a fan of straws, they taste weird

22. what colour socks do you wear? 

ALL THE COLOURS! I own a pair of socks for every outfit to colour co-ordinate, my sock draw is overflowing

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? 

Strangely, I drive under by quite a bit when no one else is around. It’s the other cars that stress me out and make me go too fast. Also I have a black box so not allowed

24. what terrifies you? 

Good question, lots of things... the sea, pools, tbh water in general, heights, rejection, the current impending doom, large open spaces with no walls I can be against, losing everyone I love, the fact that anyone might be secretly talking about me behind my back because they actually hate me, the list goes on but I won’t continue it

25. look to your left what do you see? 

An empty Pepsi Max can, a glass of water, some crocodile scissors, my Switch, a cranberry scented candle, and some tiny balls of wool

26. what chore do you hate? 

Got to be changing my bed, or washing up when the things have got cold food left on them

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? 

A throwback to year 8

28. what’s your favourite soda?

Pepsi Max

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru? 

It depends who I’m with

30. who was the last person you talked to? 

My mum about a meteor shower and satellites

31. favourite cut of beef? 

A random question... I do like a good rump steak

32. last song you listened to? 

You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates because I’m using it in my animation project

33. last book you read? 

I’m like part way through Good Omens and have been for quite some time... I have learning difficulties and find reading a lot of effort so don’t read very often

34. can you say the alphabet backwards? 

No, it’s the kind of thing I’d have expected myself to learn at some point but never did

35. how do you like your coffee? 

I don’t like coffee so in the bin

36. favourite pair of shoes? 

My multicoloured Vans, got them in the second week of uni and I’ve loved them ever since

37. the time you normally go to bed? 

Well, currently it’s around 1AM to go to bed, 3AM to sleep. Used to be around 12/1AM sleep but the lockdown has ruined that

38. the time you normally wake up? 

Again, currently it’s around 11:30AM to wake up then 12PM to do things but used to be around 9:30/10AM. To be honest I still sometimes wake up then but I go back to sleep again because I have no reason to exist more than I need

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? 

Sunrise is always nice to watch, but I don’t like getting up early so definitely sunset, especially when you’re at a restaurant or sitting outside somewhere in the countryside

40. how many blankets are on your bed? 

Just the one duvet, but I have a soft fish patterned blanket for when I want something to cuddle with

41. describe your kitchen plates? 

We have some plain white ones and some that are white with leaves around the edges. The edges have a ridged pattern and the rims are gold

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don’t drink so no

43. do you play cards? 

Yes, love a good card game! 

44. what colour is your car? 

It’s very nice Caribbean sea blue. Used to be my mum’s car, it’s her favourite colour

45. can you change a tire? 

I probably could if I had to but can’t say I’ve done it before

46. your favourite province? 

I guess that’s counties? Hometown of Gloucestershire is up there, also a fan of Devon. My favourites may have to be Caenarfonshire and Anglesey though after the road trip last year

47. favourite job you’ve had?

Not sure really, I guess it would have to be doing my art commissions

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

The biggest scar I have these days is on my right knuckle between my index and middle finger, it’s very small. I got it from when I was holding a horse still before untacking and he decided that hay was more exciting, caught my hand on a splintered wooden fence and that was that

49. what did you do today that made someone happy? 

Nothing, I’ve only seen my family and even then it was for a short time. Don’t think I make anyone happy these days ahah

It’s now 3:22AM, that took longer than I expected. ‘I’ll go to sleep early today’ I said but I say that every day. Don’t know why I keep lying to myself. 

Anyway, I guess I have to tag someone now, so I tag @duckingpunches !