#it happened like 2 weeks ago but it just kinda hit me that it's a scar and is not going away
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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I have a scar on my face now if anyone was wondering
#radiostatic.txt#it happened like 2 weeks ago but it just kinda hit me that it's a scar and is not going away#the story is that I was cleaning out one of the bunny pens#and like the pen is right next to a table and on the table is this big metal eagle statue. it's like 1.5ft tall and SUPER heavy#I do not remember why we have the statue but we do#anyways I was cleaning the bunny pen and there was extra panels in between the pen and that table that I needed to move so I could clean#and I (standing in the bunny pen) reached down and grabbed them and when I stood up the side of my face went directly into the metal eagle#it hurt like fucking hell. literally just sat on the floor with my head in my hands for a few minutes#and when I took my hands away there was blood on them (not very much) so then I cleaned it and put a big bandaid on my face#honestly think I gave myself a concussion. my entire head hurt pretty bad and looking down made me feel weird#but I was like it's not bleeding very much so it can't be that bad! and then I spent the next hour cleaning the bunny pens#I also had a moment of 'wow that could've been really bad' because it's right next to my eye.I remember feeling my glasses hit the eagle too#so like thank god I have glasses because I nearly lost an eye
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how i shifted 4+ times in one night
So I wanna say this happened like a week ago and that night I was up on my phone writing down some limiting beliefs I had and replaced them with new ones and had made it into a new phrase for myself to affirm:
That night i looped that last phrase (highlighted in blue) over and over again.
I was laying in my bed, eyes closed but I was very cold. The covers were not on me but i really wanted to cover myself with it. I then thought “why not shift to a reality where the covers are on me.”
So i literally just visualised myself with the covers and said “The covers are on me”… and it happened so fast. I opened my eyes and the covers were on me. I shifted back and was kinda shocked but also very happy. I decided to sleep and I woke up shortly after that with the blanket on me again. That night I kept shifting to an alternate cr with the blanket on me.
It didn’t really hit me until I woke up that morning that I shifted that amount of times in one night, and how extremely simple it is.
I think when I become aware of the fact that I was a master shifter and looped that (esp since i was very tired which makes the subconscious very open to suggestion) it influenced how I was able to shift sm that night.
All you need to do is
1. If you have a lot of limiting beliefs, eliminate them and replace them with new and positive beliefs.
2. Align yourself to a dr
3. Persist that you are there.
4. Done. you can shift.
It really is that simple babe! You are the creator of your reality and you decide what goes, not some shifting video you saw on tiktok or on tumblr etc. Become aware of the fact that you are a master shifter and just persist in that.
#loa#loa tumblr#loablr#loassumption#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting#shifting advice#shifting blog#loa blog#law of assumption#loa success#shifting diary#sh
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forever?
pairing: mob!bucky x reader
summary: after being forced into a marriage you didn’t want, you become very cautious of your new husband out of fear of what he’s capable of when one of his employees makes a move at a dinner meeting.
warnings: anxious reader, threat of domestic violence (reader is just worried abt it), groping, please let me know if i missed something or need to add anything!
a/n: reader is very timid in this. i know a lot of people like a reader who doesn’t take shit and stands up for herself, but i often find myself in situations where i just shut down and don’t know how to respond… so this is kinda inspired by that feeling
pt 2 -> control
two months out of forever.
two months of what seemed like wedded bliss from the outside.
in reality, that “bliss” included sleeping in separate rooms, never even seeing each other unless necessary to make appearances for either of your parents.
the ones who arranged for this to happen in the first place.
you were just glad you were able to have your time for yourself. you thought you would use the time to continue writing for your book, but you’ve hit a serious case of writers block. so lovely.
on the bright side, he wasn’t as controlling as your few friends had made it seem he would be.
they had painted this picture of a monster in your head. a man who would loom over your presence during every waking second. a man who was controlling and wouldn’t let you have a personal life or secrets.
so far, he’s been the opposite.
for some reason, that still leaves you unsteady.
because they also painted him in a very violent, angry, red light.
but maybe he had a mistress. if that were the case, he truly didn’t respect you or your family. it didn’t seem like bucky to do that, though. he wouldn’t ruin a business deal that benefitted him so much.
the reason you married him was because your father’s finance business was going under, drowned in debts while the only options were to sell to the barnes’ or the rumlow’s. the barnes’ seemed the lesser of two evils.
the only way to smoothly transition your father’s business to be under the barnes’ control without raising any question of your father’s capability was to marry. if any questions were asked about why your father sold his company, the not so good side of the finance industry would trample after your entire family. the barnes’ would get a new company and their many clients, while your family wouldn’t become entirely blacklisted by the entire country, would be putting your family under the barnes’ protection, and there would be less questions asked as to why the company had been merged.
you had a few months of “leaking” images of you and bucky together into the tabloids to prepare the public for the news of such a big marriage. some were photos of you and bucky holding hands while walking. a couple of you at a restaurant smiling. a few staged kissing photos… those may or may not have been your favorite.
those times spent with him, in all honesty, weren’t bad at all. going for walks together at sunset, dinner dates, feeling his lips against yours…
you had gotten to know more about his childhood that the tabloids didn’t feel was important to cover. his favorite subject in school and how he actually lost his arm so many years ago. you learned each others’ fears and worries in life. your favorite thing to learn about him, however, was what he truly wanted in life.
peace.
a couple weeks after the wedding, a few photos of the reception were once again “leaked” in order to sell the “too in love to wait” bit that everyone had started assuming upon seeing the first few photos of you and bucky together.
but all of your history with him flew to the back of your mind as bucky knocked on your office door.
“come in,” you replied hesitantly, not sure what he wanted from you for the first time since your wedding. he stepped through the threshold and stood at the doorframe.
“there’s a work meeting tomorrow,” his hand remained on the doorknob, so stiff you’d think he might rip it off the precious white wood in seconds. “the men are meeting at the house. i wanted to let you know. the men in this business, they expect marriages to be of the… traditional values.”
you nodded with understanding, turning to face him with a forced grin. “so i should play the part of the doting housewife, huh?” no smile in return, so you bit back your humor in turn for matching his serious tone. “what food should i prepare, then? and uh, how many guests will we be expecting?”
“whatever’s easiest for you,” he shrugged lightly. “there will be 9 of us there.” with one final look in your direction, he left the office and didn’t return to say goodnight.
-
the next morning you got to work setting the house up for the 6pm meeting your loving husband was hosting.
you had decided to set up a buffet-style table outside of the main dining room where the meeting would take place. for the menu, you settled on simple grilled chicken with quite a few side options. roast potatoes, asparagus, sauteed carrots, green beans, and rolls.
you were putting the rolls in the oven when bucky got home, seemingly entranced by the smell of all the food, heading straight to the kitchen.
“it smells amazing in here,” bucky called from the archway of the kitchen. you jumped slightly from the surprise, but swallowed down the shock and another weak smile.
“thanks,” you nodded to the edge of the island where a large chalkboard sat, your handwriting neatly displayed on the board that listed all the food to be had. “the menu. i figured a variety would be nice, and who doesn’t like chicken, right?”
“vegetarians,” if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was telling a joke. but you knew better than that. “the men are coming in a little less than an hour. do you maybe want to change before they get here?”
you looked down at what you were wearing, a pair of blue jeans and a loose t-shirt clearly not worthy of someone who had married a barnes man. “right, of course. i’m sorry,” you finished setting the timer on the oven and ran upstairs to get yourself put together before bucky saw the tears trying to seep past your waterline.
you settled on a black cocktail dress you had worn to one of your dad’s company events before the downfall… quickly swiping some makeup on to cover the exhaustion in your eyes and pulling your hair up to a more respectable updo rather than your typical messy bun.
luckily you had become an expert at quickly getting ready from your time in university, as you were back in time to pull the rolls from the oven, but not before pulling on your apron. you’d be dammed if you got this stunning dress dirty right before this prestigious meeting.
t-5 minutes before the meeting was supposed to begin and you could already hear lots of rustling from the formal dining room. you knocked on the closed doors before bucky opened the door for you.
the men went silent as their gaze rested on you in the doorway.
“the foods ready. buffet style?” your eyes didn’t leave bucky’s pretty blues, too scared to do anything wrong in front of his men.
“that’s perfect, my love,” his hands gravitated to your waist before pulling your body taut against his, one hand moving a stray hair behind your ear before leaning in to whisper. “you look ravishing…”
as he pulled back, you were sure your blush was evident across your cheeks. you tried to hide it behind a smile, shrugging with a shy ‘thanks’ leaving your lips.
“what do you say to my stunning wife, boys?” his hand squeezed your waist once more before turning to the other men, ‘thank you’s being echoed throughout the room as they stood and made their way to the kitchen to make their plates.
in a matter of minutes, all the food was gone. you figured it was best they liked the food, even if you didn’t get to try any of it yourself like you had planned.
you got started on cleaning everything up with earbuds in your ears, starting with the dishes already in the sink from when you were cooking. then, you were sure to place the dishes that the food was in inside the sink for you to clean before starting on wiping the counters, then sweeping, then mopping, and then back to the dishes.
you didn’t realize that bucky had called for a break in the meeting, however. you were in for quite the rude awakening when you felt a pair of hands on your waist, but not the ones you were semi-familiar with.
you turned around with a gasp, shock evident on your face as you tried to piece together whoever this man was. blond hair, blue eyes… definitely not steve though. you knew steve well and had seen him often.
you pulled your earbuds from your ears in attempt to better understand what was going on. his hands were still gripping your sides, but you couldn’t necessarily escape his touch. you were backed against the sink. even if you could fight him, you’d likely lose to his strong grip.
“is the meeting-is it over already?” your voice was so much more cowardly than you’d ever expected yourself to be.
“no, no,” he shook his head. “just a little break, some of the guys were getting antsy.” you leaned back further, trying to create some semblance of space between you. “i figured i’d say a special thank you, on behalf of all of us guys in there.” he let one hand cup the side of your face and neck, his other hand trailing down from your waist, firmly grasping your ass with a sqeeze before you jumped at the invasion.
“i don’t-i’ve got it…”
“john,” he smiled grossly, as if he could convince you to go to bed with him.
“no need for a thanks,” you tried to remind him. “i did this for bucky. for my husband.” your eyebrows rose, trying to emphasize that his boss was also your husband.
“i’m sure he won’t mind you getting a little bit of extra special attention, don’t you?”
then, a growling voice cut through the fear running through your veins.
“i think he might mind.”
you turned to face bucky with wide eyes before facing john, wishing the tears welling in your eyes would just go away.
his hands slowly retracted, stepping back with a chuckle.
“sorry, sir,” he smiled before turning to face your husband. “she was just telling me how she wanted some extra attention, weren’t you, toots?” he tilted his head expectantly.
your mouth opened, nothing leaving in spite of your brain screaming at you. what would bucky do? would he take his side? would he believe you? would he hurt you?
you’ve embarrassed him now… humiliated him in his own home. surely he’ll take action against you for this.
your mind replayed stories your old friends had told you about him. how he would lash out at men that betrayed him. how he never took shit from anyone who showed him any disrespect. how he was the kind of man to shoot first and ask quesitons later.
and now, in a way, you’ve both betrayed and disrespected him. or at least, that’s what he’ll think.
you didn’t even realize tears were flowing down your face until your sobs were interrupted.
“enough!” you finally looked at bucky before his eyes softened for a second before walking closer to you. “go to the room.” he ordered sternly.
“but the dish-”
“i’ll take care of it,” he interrupted gravely, “go. to. the. room.”
“yes, sir,” you nodded and swiftly left the room entirely, collapsing against the door once you had shut it, sobs wracking your body. you held your knees against your chest before trying to regulate your breathing.
he won’t hurt you.
he has to protect his image.
you’ve embarrassed him.
you’re his wife.
you’re his business deal.
you’ve humiliated him.
he’ll hurt you.
you didn’t know how long it had been since the incident.
your sobs had subsided. you had, at some point, moved to your bed. you were still rocking your body back and forth, trying to self sooth.
and then there was a knock at the door.
your body instinctively jumped at the sudden noise, although it wasn’t harsh in any manner, at least not one that you were expecting.
he twisted the knob, slowly opening the door with slow movements.
“i-i’m so sorry,” you began apologizing as soon as he stepped through the threshold into your room. “i swear-i swear i didn’t tell him that. i didn’t even realize he was there, i promise. i wouldn’t lie to you. i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry. please believe me.” your body was still rocking and you didn’t even notice he was as close to you as he was until you saw his hand moving by your head.
automatically, you assumed the absolute worst, your head ducking into your body like a fucking turtle, the meekest squeal leaving your lips mixed with a sob. your arms went over your head protectively, as if a bomb were about to go off.
“sweetheart,” his voice sounded so broken, so torn, so unexpectedly soft.
you finally looked at him for the first time since he came in your room. his flesh hand was holding his metal one as if it were something that could kill. in ways, it was.
“you-there’s no need to…” after looking at him for a second longer, you noticed that his eyes had tears that almost mirrored your own. “i would never, ever lay a hand on you. i’m so sorry for scaring you. i can’t…” he sighed. “i can’t believe i made you believe i’d ever hurt you.”
“i’m sorry,” you pleaded with him once again.
“you have nothing to apologize for,” he hesitated to reach for your hands before settling on simply grabbing a spare pillow. “i came up here to apologize. for my tone earlier… i know john. he never knows his boundaries. i should’ve… you never should’ve been put in that situation. that’s my fault. that’s on me. and i will spend the rest of forever to make it up to you.”
“you don’t have to-”
“no, my love,” he shook his head. “can i-can i hold your hands? please?” you, without hesitation, grabbed his hands yourself. “i need to make it up to you. you’re mine. you’re my wife. it’s my job to protect you, to keep you safe. and to have someone ruin that? to touch what’s mine in my own home? i’m so sorry.” he brought your hands to his lips, pressing at least ten kisses to each hand. he was so gentle and careful it was a good thing you knew better than to think it actually meant anything.
you were surprised, to say the least, at how tender he was being with you.
how could you have ever thought he would hurt you? that he would raise his hand and swing? that he would cause you harm? he was here declaring that he would make up this incident for the rest of eternity when it wasn’t even his doing…
“will you stay with me tonight?” his eyes lit up at the request.
“are you sure you want that?” he became a touch more reserved. “i don’t know if it’s a good idea since you were worried i would…” his voice trailed off.
“i’m sure,” you nodded before scooting over in the bed.
sure, your marriage was arranged and didn’t stem from true love. you may not have talked outside of when absolutely necessary. you might have even been terrified of him at one point.
but now, the thought of forever with bucky barnes didn’t seem half bad.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes angst#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#marvel#sargeant barnes#sargeant bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes hurt/comfort#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes whump#bucky x fem!reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfic#bucky x y/n#winter soldier#marvel au#bucky barnes au#mob!bucky#mob!bucky barnes#mob!bucky x reader#mob!bucky fanfic
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Hits Different (...'cause it's you) (2)
«« I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' »»
PAIRING: kim mingyu x reader
SYNOPSIS: Kim Mingyu was the first friend your brother had brought home for dinner. Fast forward a couple years, his toothy smile and pierced ears would wedge their way into a permanent place in your heart. Nail to a coffin, never to escape.
or;
in which you get rejected by the only boy you've ever loved; a rejection you can't quite shake off.
GENRES: based off of 'Hits Different' by Taylor Swift, brother's best friend!au, brother!seokmin, fluff, angst, smut (in part 2) [MINORS DNI], friends(?) to lovers, university!au.
PLAYLIST: right here!
WORD COUNT (full fic): 40k (im actually embarrassed)
Part 1: 20.2k | Part 2: 20k
masterlist
WARNINGS : slowburn, angst, fluff, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, there's another woman (gasp,,,,,but shes cool so), Nayeon is a darling, Seungcheol is kinda annoying here but we love him, smut, making out, breast play, fingering (f. receiving), p in v sex (protected + unprotected), oral (f. receiving) uhhhh i think that's it lmk tho
[A/N]: Part 2 !! shit goes down in this one so be prepared ig lmao. thank you for the love on part 1, i hope you enjoy the finale too hehe
For the third time this week, you wish you could squeeze your brother’s brains with your own two hands and watch it explode like a grape without legal repercussions. Or parental ones.
You slam your phone down on the counter after you end your conversation with him, frustrated as you watch the empty shelf where you left your dinner for today in the fridge last night, and the other green box that was actually your brothers. Refusing to eat the dry PB&J he usually packs for himself, you slam the fridge door shut, trudging out the door to leave for work, thoroughly annoyed at the prospect of needing to eat out.
It’s gone forgotten for most of the day, that is until the clock hits eight and you feel your stomach grumble, immediately putting you in a sour mood as you remember you couldn’t enjoy your pasta because your brother was enjoying your pasta. You only had another hour left, supposing you could wait till you get home to make dinner yourself, not feeling the burger joint across the street in the slightest. Eating a moonpie to satiate yourself for the time being, you go back to stocking the shelves for the new LP shipment, making a vague mental note to ask Mingyu if Jia liked the gift he picked out a couple weeks ago.
Your opportunity arises almost automatically as you walk over to greet whoever came in, abandoning the opened box of bubble wrapped LPs as you hear the bell chime softly at the front of the store.
Mingyu was here (again), hands occupied with a bag, looking relieved to find you emerging from the shelves.
“Oh, you’re here. I was afraid you left already,” he says, smiling slightly.
“Would’ve been closed if I did.” You nudge your head towards the clearly unlocked door, donning the neon open sign.
He looks a little dumb, turning to look at the door. “Oh. Right.”
You can’t help but smile a little. “Caught me at a good time though, I was just about to start wrapping up here.”
He suddenly looks like he’s reminded of what he’s come here for, placing the bag on the desk next to him. “Seok told me to drop this off for you, he said it’s food.”
Snorting, you take a look at the inside to find takeout from your favourite pasta place, which also happens to be your most expensive favourite pasta place. Seokmin felt bad enough to spend extra dollars on your dinner tonight, you guessed you could forgive him.
You sigh as you speak. “And you strike as his errand boy yet again, sorry he’s been making you do all this.”
“Did he piss you off?” Mingyu asks.
“Hm? He’s been pissing me off all week, this is him trying to get on my good side before I spit in his coffee.”
He laughs at that, a toothy smile that has your stomach lurching. The flashback was brief but vivid all the same, his grin triggering a long forgotten memory. You could almost see the black studs in his ears again, his bangs falling in chunks on his forehead, his face turning into the boyish sixteen year old recollection on your kitchen counter, drinking cans of Monster and helping you lie to your mom.
“Explains why he was ready to drop that much on a bowl of pasta.”
“Hey, it’s good.”
“I don’t doubt it.” He grins, “I’m gonna leave your pasta in your loving embrace, I have to feed my car now. Been putting it off till payday.”
“Oh, right. Thanks for dropping this off though, appreciate it.” You offer him a tight lipped smile. One that he returns, canines almost glinting in the light (but that’s just you).
“No worries, I’ll see ya around.” You don’t remember what you were meant to ask him until he’s long jingled the glass door shut, walking to his parked car. You supposed it could wait, Jia would’ve liked anything he got her. You could ask him later, not wanting to have him turn around to answer the obvious question.
The opportunity does not arise as easily as it did this time, a couple weeks passing in relative uneventful indifference, slow days at the store and nights in seven days a week. You were starting to wish you’d taken summer classes while you were stuck here anyway, the mundane days pushing you to believe you’d rather be busy than inexplicably bored. It’s not until your brother has a near mental breakdown from only having a sister as his main recreational contact that there’s a change.
Mingyu sits on your couches in the dark, useless blanket thrown over his torso as both of his sock clad feet hang out in the air. To be fair, nobody’s looking at anybody as the eyes remain on yet another unnecessary explosion on the screen. You vaguely wonder how the ship hasn’t sunk yet.
“What the fuck do you mean he’s been alive this whole time?” Seokmin utters, voice thick with the entire stick of butter he stuck into his bowl of popcorn.
“Who funded this?” Mingyu mumbles from the other end, a deep frown etched on his face.
“The people who funded the other three monstrosities.” You roll your eyes, inching your way into a sitting position, the ache making its way into the crick of your neck.
“There’s more?!” The prospect had Mingyu hurtling into a sitting position, but not without his own set of winces as he feels the bones cracking and muscles aching. His hair is a mess, his hoodie nearly backwards, and you can’t help but laugh at the mildly confused and bewildered expression he has on.
“Yeah, you wanna watch those too?” you ask through giggles.
Glancing at the final pub scene that’s playing on the TV, he's quick to mumble, “Fuck, no.”
“I haven’t watched a real shitty movie in a while.” Seokmin groans as it’s his turn to stretch. “This was fun. Hollywood’s back.”
Both you and Mingyu pointedly ignore his statement, your own mind debating whether you wanted to watch another movie. It’s not until you look up to see Mingyu doing something on his phone that you remember what you wanted to ask him.
“Hey, Mingyu, did — Seokmin!” Your brother’s decided to begin his aerial stretches, touching his toes and cracking his back. You shift your head wildly to get a gap through his restless movements, eventually giving up finding Mingyu. He could hear you. “Did you – ugh – did you get to give Jia her present?”
You aren’t sure what it is, but the way the question has Seok landing on his heels mid tip toe stretch and how Mingyu’s eyebrows shoot up, you don’t doubt you’ve touched on something sensitive. There’s a part of you that wonders if it’s too late to take it back when both boys make eye contact with each other, but your brother beats you to it.
“I, uh…forgot to tell her,” he lowtones.
You look to your brother and then to Mingyu.
“We broke up.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Mingyu smiles a little awkwardly, and Seok makes a strangled sound that may have been a laugh of his own. Or a cough, you aren’t too sure. “But…she did like the present, when I gave it to her anyway.”
“Oh, that’s…that’s good,” you manage, not knowing what to say. “Sorry that happened though…sucks.”
“She ended it–” that has your own brows shooting up in disbelief. Kim Mingyu got dumped? “–over the phone, she decided she wanted to stay home for a while to figure out what she wanted to do. Uni wasn’t cutting it for her here…”
“I mean, good for her, I guess. Hope you’re doing okay, though.”
He blows air out of his cheeks, scratching his neck. “I mean, we’re fine. Ended it on good terms.”
Seokmin’s still standing awkwardly staring at the still running ending credits for something to do. “Should we get food?”
“I don’t know, are you hungry?” Mingyu asks.
“How is the heartburn not getting to you yet? You basically emptied the country’s dairy reserves in a single popcorn serving,” you grumble.
“Don’t underestimate my ingestional abilities,” he retorts.
Mingyu stares for a moment. “Aren’t you lactose intoletrant or something?”
Seokmin turns to him, mouth open as he points his finger, “You know, I might be.”
“No you aren’t, if you were lactose intolerant then I’d be lactose intolerant,” you shoot.
“Explain the empty can of air freshener in the bathroom after queso and chips?”
“Have you considered during queso and chips that queso is a dip and not an optional beverage?”
Mingyu’s cutting between you two before you can go on with your bickering, afraid he’d have to physically peel you off of each other if it goes on, “Let’s just go to a drive thru, you can get your lactose or…non lactose options however you like.”
That’s how you’re shoved into the backseat of Mingyu’s car, Seokmin fiddling with the GPS to find the nearest McDonalds.
“How do you not know where the nearest McDonald’s is, you live here,” Mingyu hisses as he takes his fourth right turn in a row.
“We always just order in, who sits in a car and goes to McDonalds.”
“Us apparently,” you lowtone to Mingyu from the back, picking at a crusty flower that you found in between the seats. They ignore you.
“Okay, I think it’s this one. Dude, get a new GPS, this one responds after fifty years, of course it’s gonna take this long.”
Their own bickering is starting to zone out into a buzz in your ears as you stare at a patch of leather behind Mingyu’s seat. You vaguely considered that you’re falling asleep.
The streetlight has other plans, however, when you sense something glinting in the sudden light underneath the seat. Your interest is piqued, moving forward to see what it was. Mingyu senses you shifting and asks you what you’re doing.
You don’t answer him as you shuffle around to catch sight of it again. And then you see it, a tiny necklace on the slightly dirty mat, a circle charm with a single ‘J’ in the center. You aren’t sure why you froze at the sight, the gold glinting prettily even in the dark. Leaving it there, you emerge from under the seat, trying to seem nonchalant.
“Nothing. Thought I saw something.”
Mingyu’s common occurrence in the bookstore is starting to concern you, never catching him as the type to read something other than the occasional bad riddles on the back of a cereal box. You stand corrected however, as you find yourself trying to find a hardcover for him on the computer system, mumbling incoherently.
“Never knew you read.”
“Well, now you do. This one’s really good though, you should read it too.” He notes, motioning towards the paperback version he brought with him for the book he’s finding.
You snort at his suggestion. “Have you realised this is one of the most popular books in its genre right now? Hard to find someone who hasn’t read it.”
He frowns at the revelation, “Oh. None of my friends read it.”
Seokmin hasn’t opened a book for recreational purposes since he was twelve. As for his other friends…they didn’t exactly seem like the smart type either. You get up to move to the shelf the computer’s indicated, trying to walk off your annoyance at a particular memory before it begins to show. Mingyu follows you in your pursuit to find his book, skimming the shelves himself as he strolled behind you.
“Oh, right, how’s that exhibition thing going? Forgot to ask about it,” you ask as you spot the box of the hardcovers at the top of the shelf. You grab the ladder that rests near the wall as he answers.
“It’s going pretty good, nearly done. I just need to send the final pieces over – what’re you doing?”
You grunt as you begin to climb up the metal ladder, trying to get to the box. “Getting your book, genius.”
“Wait–” He moves to grab the ladder at the base as he watches you step higher. “Get down! I’ll go up instead.”
“You get cold feet at the bottom of an escalator, be serious, Mingyu,” you grunt as you pull the box towards yourself, the ladder shaking with the force it takes, and it has Mingyu gripping the metal tighter. You pull the familiar cover out before closing the box back up. “There.”
“Why would you keep supposed bestsellers there, isn’t this like, in demand?” He grumbles as he continues to hold the ladder as you climb back down.
“Ran out. Need to restock them at the front, but I’ll do that tomorrow.” You huff as you jump the last step, earning a loud yelp from Mingyu.
“Chill out,” you chuckle as he puts the ladder away. “Okay, do you want me to look at anything else for you?”
“What would you recommend for my next imaginary adventure?” he asks as he picks out a random book from the shelf, trying to find the blurb.
“Not that one.” You scrunch your nose at the sight.
“This one I know is popular. What’s wrong with it?” He chuckles as he puts it back.
“Don’t believe everything you see on the internet,” you call out as you walk back to the front.
“And believe you instead?”
Oh, you wish.
Picking up your current read from the front of the store, you wait for him to reach the end of the opening where you stand to hand it to him.
“You can decide that for yourself. Haven’t finished it yet, but it looks super promising. Try it out if you want.”
He barely looks over the glistening title before handing it back to you, and you nearly assume he didn’t want it.
“Ring both of them up,” he says, and then with a pause he continues, “And anything else you think is good too, I don’t really care.”
Deciding you’d test the waters with this first recommendation, you only cash him in for two. He doesn’t question it as you do your job behind the desk, making casual conversation as he waits for you to find the right barcode.
“How far are you with that one?”
“The one I gave you? Just touched chapter 20, I think.”
He only hums in response as he pays, grabbing the bag that you push towards him.
“Let me know how you like it,” you comment before he begins to turn to leave.
“‘Course.” He grins, and you can't help but grin right back. He leaves you in the store with a slight heat coming up to your cheeks, and a wad of gum in your mouth to keep your stomach in check.
By the time the next day rolls around, it’s been nearly 24 hours before you hear from him again, his contact seemingly only ever gracing you within the walls of the bookstore – except he isn’t physically here. Mingyu texts you, and you nearly fall out of your chair at the sight of his name on your phone.
It’s near embarrassing how quickly you pick up your phone, passcode going wrong once, twice, thrice…you decide it’s the top five worst times your phone’s refused face ID. You’re slamming your fingers onto the screen harder than you should, watching the warp in the pixels at the pressure. By the time it does open its secrets for you, the annoyance has settled. Not at him though.
[Mingyu]: hey [Mingyu]: i got to chap 20 [You]: what [You]: how [Mingyu]: started reading when i got home [Mingyu]: and then i got to 20 [Mingyu]: i think i pulled an all nighter [You]: you think? [You]: was it that good [Mingyu]: couldnt put it down [Mingyu]: i wanna talk about it but my eyes are closing [You]: you know where to find me when you wake up
The typing ellipses don’t pop up after that, and you assume for the better that he’s succumbed to his afternoon drowsiness. If he was serious about that all nighter (which you don’t doubt, no way he could’ve plowed through twenty chapters and gotten any sleep), you assume he’ll be knocked out for at least the rest of the afternoon.
Smiling to yourself at the thought of him wanting to text you about your matching achievements (and actively pushing your mind away from the blessed image of a napping Mingyu), you find yourself scrolling up the conversation, trying to remember the last time Mingyu had texted. That was easy to find out as the short scroll past the sparing details from your photography adventures landed you straight into late last year, a sparse conversation regarding your brother’s whereabouts when he wouldn’t answer his phone.
You remembered the conversation. As mundane and ordinary as it was, it was difficult to forget the way your hands were shaking as you typed your one word replies, how your breathing was coming out uneven at a mere text back. You could argue there was less of that this time round, proud of yourself for learning to control your emotions better.
There’s a train of thought that leads you to every recent interaction you’ve had with him. The conversations where you could look him in the eye, your relative indifference when he would show up unannounced, the disappearance of the wad of emotions in your stomach at the mere mention of his name.
The latter may be slightly untrue, but you can't help but note how the ounces of fear within the concoction is gone. You were never quite sure what it was that you were so afraid of, perhaps the fateful night at Seungcheol’s party had answered that question for you, but still.
“Seok’s not the type to beat me up if I dated his sister. And besides…” He sighs, halting his words.
“Besides what?” Somebody chimes in.
“I’m not interested in going after someone who’s chased my tail for the past fifteen years.”
Despite telling yourself it was the alcohol talking, maybe even a couple puffs of whatever — the mild disappointment remains. Thinking about the weeks following that, the moping and the hurt, you almost don’t blame Mika for acting the way that she did.
Your brother had always been oblivious to all the frolicking in your heart that would ignite as Mingyu would enter the room, and for over a decade at that. And yet, it was during those weeks that he had noticed you acting like you had been dumped, asking you what on earth was wrong with you.
“Did somebody say something to you?” he asks.
“Huh?” you frown, annoyed at the way he's planted himself directly in front of the cabinet that held your beloved moonpies.
“You’re acting like you’ve been rejected by the love of your life. Nayeon’s not telling me anything and you’re being avoidant, what is up with you?” He huffs, hands on his hips.
Oh, if only he knew how right he was. But you weren’t upset because the love of your life rejected you (anymore, at least), you were upset because he was a public asshole.
It takes more coaxing from him to get you to start talking. It’s easier when he brings out the big guns: “D’you want me to tell mom?”
You tell him a little, not naming any names, much to his dismay. “Some guy was an ass, something about me being too easy or whatever.”
“You’re upset because some drunk dude decided to run his mouth?” He scrunches his nose at the thought. “Ignore him, he’s stupid.”
“Thanks for the help, I’m cured,” you deadpan, pushing him aside to get to the gold inside the cabinets.
“I could get Mingyu to help me beat him up, I just need a name.”
Oh. You briefly wonder how he'd feel if he had to beat up his best friend.
More than his attempts to sound like a cool older brother, the image of Mingyu beating himself up brings you more amusement than anything else. You crack a smile at the thought.
That was months ago, yet you can’t seem to forget the hurt. Trying to shake off where your thoughts were taking you, you get up to take a walk around the store for something to do, fixing microscopic displacements on the shelves and wondering if you should restock something, only to realize you’d already done that when you came in, not wanting to whip out the ladder again to restock the ones you'd just landed from.
Landing inevitably back behind the counter, you instinctively reach for the book wedged beside the computer. Your outstretched hand stops midway, thinking about how Mingyu’s reached as far as you in the story quite literally overnight. Retracting your hand, you decide you’d wait.
The bell chimes signaling a customer, and you find yourself grateful for the distraction.
It’s nearing 8:30 when you decide you should close early. It was slower than usual today, the few walk-ins leaving without purchases too hefty, rendering you bored in your seat for most of the day. You’re locking the drawers of the main desk when Mingyu walks in with the familiar tune of the bell chiming, soft smile as he greets you quietly.
“How was your nap?” you ask, trying not to giggle at his still dazed expression.
“Pretty good, didn’t wanna wake up though.” His voice remains relatively coarse, and you don’t miss the light indent on his left cheek. It’s endearing, enough to have you wishing you could cup his face in a loving squish.
But you don’t.
“You don’t say,” you comment. Pointing at your own cheek as you continue, “You sure you don’t wanna take the night off too?”
“Fuck,” he whispers as he looks down to fumble for his phone to see for himself in his front camera. The puffiness hasn’t gone away entirely, evident when he’s frowning and looking downwards, and the urge to squeeze comes hurtling back.
“Did you drive like this?”
“Uh, no, I walked.”
“Walked?” You try to comprehend if that was even more dangerous. He only nods. “Why?”
“Wanted to see you.”
It takes effort to not clutch your chest at the way your heart leaps. Kim Mingyu, you bastard.
“Had to talk about the book.”
Your voice comes out a little more breathless than you’d like, but you hope his drowsiness skips over it. “You could’ve texted.”
He pauses as he mulls it over. “I mean, yeah…I don’t know. I just put my shoes on and came here.”
You decide you’d spare him the brain power and continue your remaining closing duties, talking to him as you move around the store.
“We can take my car to my place, better than getting distracted here.”
He only nods in response. “Do you want any help?”
“Nope, just need to turn off the lights and lock the doors. Let me grab my bag.”
By the time you’re home, an XL pizza and drinks in your arms to satiate Mingyu’s post nap ravenous tendencies, you drop down on the couch with a huff. Seokmin hears the ruckus and appears from his room, not wasting time to break on the pizza with Mingyu as you leave to freshen up. By the time you settle with your own slice it seems as though Mingyu has roused himself significantly more than before.
“Okay,” you huff as you land on the soft cushioning, “What did you think about the book?”
“Hard to believe this is her first book, it’s really good.”
“Her world building is amazing, some of the best I’ve read.”
Your back and forth discussion grows increasingly passionate, forgetting the fact that your brother was also right there excluded from the conversation. His head shifts back and forth as the both of you converse, utterly lost. It would’ve been funny, except neither if you were actually looking at him.
He manages to get a word in as one of you pauses for breath. “Since when do you read?”
Mingyu gapes at the question, seemingly trying to find an answer. “Recently.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? I just wanted to start reading,” he scoffs in a manner that could be described as exaggerated. If he’s trying to throw Seokmin off his scent, he’s succeeded, as he watches Seokmin get up and announce that he has work to do. That leaves the both of you alone.
The conversation takes you into the late hours of the night, Mingyu’s prior nap releasing him from the chains of reasonable sleeping hours as he remains wide awake despite the 3 AM time on the dial. You manage to keep up with him, even when he follows you to the kitchen to brew a coffee.
“Do you usually work this hard just to make coffee?” he asks as he watches you discard the used espresso puck.
“We have a bottle of the instant stuff here somewhere for when I’m lazy,” you explain as you pour the fresh shots into the prepped ice and milk. “Doesn’t taste the same though.”
“Coffee is coffee,” he says as he stirs the drink you push towards him.
“Quite the contrary. Besides, the instant stuff fucks with my stomach, I’d rather not.” You take a sip of your coffee, glancing at the sink. “Will say, hate everything I have to wash afterwards.”
“I’ll do ‘em later, gotta pay you back for all the manual labour that went into this thing,” he refers to the latte he’s sipping on currently.
“The appreciation is enough. We can make Seok do them in the morning for being a loser and going to bed early,” you snort. Mingyu laughs at that, the image of Seokmin doing dishes while the both of you sleep in.
“You sure you don’t wanna call it a night?” he asks you as you place yourself on the kitchen counter.
“I’m having fun, Mingyu, seriously. I’m off tomorrow too, I don’t have to wake up,” you reassure for the nth time.
He doesn’t reply, only stares up at you from his leaned position. He’s chewing on his lip, and you find yourself unconsciously chewing at your own, the already raw skin stinging at the abrasion. Mingyu’s hands come up to your face slowly, like he knew it was hurting as he pulls your bottom lip to release it with his thumb.
“You’re gonna bleed,” he whispers. His hand that grasps your chin doesn’t move, rough thumb continuing to graze at your lip lightly.
“You never stopped picking at your lips, did you?” he wonders out loud, eyes trained on your mouth.
Your own hand comes to lightly grip at his forearm. He remembers your habit, picking at the skin of your lips since near middle school, getting yelled at when you had to excuse yourself from the dinner table when they would bleed.
“Old habits die hard.” Your voice is thick despite the gulp you had to take before opening your mouth.
It was true, probably too much as you continue to look at his near perfect face. The oldest habit, the hardest to die.
Mingyu drops his hand, landing it in your lap, your own hand still gripping his forearm. You aren’t sure what’s going through you as you trail your hand up further, to his wrists, to the dip of his palm, landing on his fingers. You grip his hand, tight this time.
“I’m gonna jump,” you whisper, and you feel his grip tighten around yours as he braces to support you off the counter.
You face him in silence, contemplating, “It’s hot in here, let’s go back out.”
He watches as you pick your cup off the counter and leave, not waiting for him to follow you. He finds himself trying to take deeper breaths, stalling, but not for long as he joins you back on the couch.
It probably came as a shock to both of you the first time Mingyu announced his leave much earlier in the night, when you stopped him, asking him to stay. It was silent for a few sparing moments as you both absorbed what had come out of your mouth, trying to make sense of it. You found yourself needing to coax him a little more to convince him he wasn’t overstaying his visit, that you were having fun. He sits back down, warning you that this was going to be a long night.
You don’t think you could ever forget the absolute somersault your stomach performed, the after effects leaving you still as a plank.
It was a long night indeed. And yet, when you found your eyes closing after a fight, much later on the couch with a large blanket shared between the both of you, Mingyu watches you doze off while leaning on the couch facing him, wishing the night was longer.
If you were awake, you probably would’ve found yourself agreeing.
There’s a lot Mingyu has to learn about himself. He’s reminded of the fact nearly everyday. Especially right now as Seokmin runs his mouth sitting with him at a secluded booth in some bar.
They had company, a couple guys joining them for dinner before leaving not too long after. That left him and a slightly tipsy Seokmin alone, who’s currently munching on a platter of crackers in front of him. He was bright enough, the energy from the others keeping him going as they played their drinking games and ate their obnoxious amounts of food. It was alot more somber with only the both of them left, his mood deflating as their friends slowly dwindled in number. That wasn’t about to stop him from ordering another beer though.
“Summer’s so boring,” he grumbles in dejection, flicking a stray crumb off the table.
“You chose to stay here,” Mingyu replies.
Seokmin doesn’t answer him, but continues to look like a kicked puppy, a slight pout forming on his face.
Mingyu fights the urge to scoff, “You can’t possibly be this upset about summer being depressing.”
“It’s not about that.”
Mingyu takes a swig of his own drink before sighing loudly, “What’s this about then?”
Seokmin says your name, and Mingyu is suddenly very interested. “She just seems to be doing a lot better since she started working at the bookstore.”
“Better?”
“She told me about this guy a couple months ago.”
Mingyu’s trying really hard to not look visibly deflated, not that Seokmin would notice considering his state, but he attempts to sound nonchalant regardless. “Do we know him?”
“I – no, that’s not,” he huffs in exasperation, “She said she overheard him, basically calling her easy.”
“Easy?”
“I don’t know, something about her chasing his tail or whatever, she won’t tell me who it is. She hadn’t been doing too great recently and I’m pretty sure it was because of him.”
It is dawning on Mingyu, embarrassingly slowly, that the guy Seokmin is talking about — may be him.
His voice is hoarse, a little frantic. “And she’s doing better, you said?”
“Oh yeah, the bookstore’s been amazing for her. Not sure how though, ‘cause she just sits there doing nothing for hours.”
He can’t bring himself to meet Seokmin’s eyes, remnants of his memories flurrying around in his brain in an attempt to figure out what other bullshit he had spewed that day. He was sure you weren’t there, you couldn’t be.
“Maybe doing nothing was what she needed.” Mingyu’s reply is whatever came to him off the top of his head, mind still racing.
“Hm, I guess. I was trying to get her to tell me, we could’ve chopped his dick off together,” Seokmin grumbles.
Mingyu winces slightly, eyes tight shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. There’s a protective hand that subconsciously reaches his crotch area. “Yeah, yeah totally.”
“Fucker got let off easy, he should be happy she’s doing good.” Seokmin continues to ramble, voice getting increasingly louder.
“Yeah…”
“She’s not easy. My sister isn’t easy at all! Running after his tail, my ass! She doesn’t need some motherfucker with bad hair to be running his mouth, drunk as a bitch.” He stabs a single chopstick into the spare piece of meat on his plate, and the force has Mingyu flinching slightly.
“How do you know he has bad hair?” Mingyu continues to stare at the impaled piece of beef that Seokmin brings to his mouth.
“I don’t need to know a motherfucker to know he uses shitty hair gel.”
Mingyu may try to run his hair gel past Seokmin at some point. But right now, he’s only trying to make it out of the bar with his sex organs intact.
“Hey, we’re past this, remember? She’s doing great right now and that’s all that matters.” Mingyu sounds overly flustered, but he can’t bring himself to care as he attempts to reign in an angry Seokmin. They were garnering looks, and the last thing he wanted was to get kicked out before they had paid.
Seokmin is still huffing and puffing, but significantly less so as he finds reason in Mingyu’s words. “I’m gonna find out who he is.”
“You hate living in peace.”
“My sister’s hasn’t had any peace because of this dickwad, I’m—”
“OKAY! Okay, got it. We’ll figure that out when you’re sober.” Mingyu rises from his own seat as he finds Seokmin lifting his own butt off his chair in a near war cry.
He manages to fend him off, waving for the bill before he has to pull him back from aimlessly marching to whoever’s house he had in mind. He calms down as they wait for the check, finishing the remaining scraps on the table in silence.
Seokmin seems nearly back to his regular self after a few minutes, forehead creases smoothing over during his cool down time. He speaks, except this time it’s in a more socially acceptable manner.
“Hey, I’ve been noticing, you and her have been getting pretty close lately. I don’t know, it’s just, I woke up and saw both on the couch and —”
“Here’s your bill!” The waiter cuts him mid sentence, placing the check on the table.
Mingyu knew what Seokmin was getting to, and he was thanking every star in the galaxy for bringing the waiter into their lives at that exact moment. He’s quick to fuss over the glossy piece of paper, humming and making comments at their purchases to fill in any silent opportunities to let Seokmin continue. Mingyu’s slips his card in the wallet.
“It’s on me,” he announces as he flashes a quick smile to the waiter. “You can cut a ten for yourself.”
“Wait, what — let’s split, what’s wrong with you?” Seokmin jolts up as registers what’s happening a little too late.
“It’s fine, you can pay for the next one.” He says as he shifts around the table to look for his phone. “You should probably go to bed too, it’s getting pretty late. Sleep off the beer and whatnot.”
Seokmin is left speechless as Mingyu gets up, grabbing his stuff.
“Wait, your card—” Seokmin starts.
“Is here,” Mingyu spews a quick ‘thanks’ to the waiter, waving his card in front of Seokmin so he’d finally stand the fuck up.
“Do I need to drag you out of that chair, let’s go!” he says, grabbing Seok by the arm to lift him off his seat. It was nearly funny how he couldn’t get him to stay within the vicinity mere minutes ago and now is begging for him to get up.
By the time Mingyu’s jamming Seok’s key into your apartment, he’s tired of his endless rambling. He can only appreciate his drunk brain for not bringing up the last question he tried asking him. He’s opening the door, urging Seokmin to walk inside, slapping him awake from his nap against the wall.
Mingyu deems it best to physically put him in bed for the furnitures’ sake, pushing him in front to lead him to his room. Mingyu’s spent by the time he’s done and Seokmin is snoring, his back cracking from the hunched position he’s kept from tucking him in and taking his shoes and jacket off.
He tiptoes out (despite knowing it’d take a marching band to wake him up at that point), closing the door as quietly as possible.
“What’re you doing here?”
Mingyu nearly jumps out of his skin, landing a mile as he hears your voice in the dark hallway, hand coming up to his heart. “Jeez— announce yourself, would you?”
“In my own house?” you raise an eyebrow.
“Just—” he waves you off as he comes round, standing straight. “I was putting Seok to bed.”
You inhale sharply. “Did you drink?”
“Me? No, but he’s knocked out right now, he’s probably gonna need a pill in the morning,” he replies.
“Hm, I’ll see to it in the morning, or whenever it is that he wakes up.”
“Yeah.” Mingyu is standing awkwardly in front of you in the dark hall, not having anything else to say. “I’ll get going now.”
“Oh, right, yeah. Get some sleep,” you say as you let him move past you.
“You too, don’t know why you’re awake,” he chuckles quietly.
“Couldn’t sleep, I’ll go to bed now though.”
The awkwardness is painful, Mingyu can feel it in his chest. But what he’s feeling more is the way you look in your night shirt now that you’re in the light of the living room, legs shown farther up than you’d usually let them go. He wonders if you're wearing shorts underneath, but slaps himself out of it when he realises he’s been silent for too long.
“Uh yeah, I’ll go now. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Mingyu.”
Mingyu replays the last five minutes in his head the entire car ride home, when he’s changing out of his clothes, when he’s brushing his teeth, when he crawls under the warm covers to finally call it a night. Mingyu thinks about what he said all those months ago at a dumb party, how he’s hurt you more than he thought he had. There’s an ache that plunges into him, the thought of you going through that because of him while he stayed blissfully unaware.
He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do to make it up to you, but right now, he’s happy. Happier than he’s been in a while, falling asleep to the thought of you.
“Goodnight, Mingyu.”
You, on the other hand, are far from happy as you find yourself in yet another car related predicament.
Having to run to work in the middle of July is never a preferred option, yet you find yourself needing to do it anyway when you walk out to your engine refusing to start.
You really needed a new car.
Abandoning the hunk of what was turning out to be just expensive scrap metal, you rile other options out in your head.
Seokmin was long gone with his car. The bus was gonna take too long. No way in hell were you about to overpay a taxi to take you somewhere that was essentially just a 15 minute walk (read as run).
So you find yourself slinging your bag as a crossbody, thanking the heavens that you at least didn’t need to change your shoes. You pray for your white sneakers as you run across town, blurting apologies to passerbys that would gape at your hurried form. As apologetic as you were, it didn’t compare to how sorry you felt for yourself, the heat pricking your skin in an agitated rise anytime you’d slow down.
The AC is near heavenly as you gasp walking into the bookstore, red faced and hair sticking to your forehead.
“Sorry,” you gulp frantically. “Sorry, I’m late.”
“Oh god,” you hear your boss comment as she sees you walk in. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just need a minute. Car broke down.”
She ushers you in front of the AC, waiting for you to collect yourself before taking her leave.
“I think I’m okay now, sorry about that.” Your chuckle comes out a little choked. So much for being convincing.
“You really should get a new car. I have a friend who’s daughter is selling hers, do you want me to ask them for you?” She’s patting your shoulder as she talks to you, and you recognize her courage to look past the sweat that’s accumulated there.
“That’d be great actually, thank you.”
Your second blow of the day comes right after you’ve finally gotten rid of the buckets of sweat on your body, seating yourself behind your desk to do some digging of your own.
You immediately wish you hadn’t as soon as you open the first second hand market site, the price tags landing you somewhere between never happening and impossible. Groaning, you place your head in your hands as you try to think of what to do. You pray your boss would come back with a quote that isn’t as outrageous as everything else you’ve cursed your eyes upon, seeing as that seemed the only viable option for you.
Closing the windows off your computer, you decide this was a headache for another time. You reach for your bag to rummage through it, only to find yourself in your third predicament of the day.
You had forgotten your book.
It shouldn’t have been a worry, considering you were in a bookstore and had access to about 56 more of the same edition that you could borrow for the day. Except it was a worry, because your copy had been religiously tabbed and annotated as you would read, not a single thought left to be forgotten in your head as they would spring up. You can almost see the pink cover sitting on your desk and you nearly begin to cry.
You wonder if you could break your ‘one book at a time’ streak for the sake of it, picking up another one off the shelf to start. The thought nearly makes you gag, the anxiety of losing interest in your current one leading you to sit aimlessly at your desk for the rest of the day.
What’s even more anxiety inducing to you, however, was the promise you’d made with Mingyu the week prior, to be finished with the book by the end of today so you could finally decide whether the end was worth it or not. The thought has you nearly picking up a copy off the shelf anyway, annotations be damned. Force of habit, however, forbids you as you are shunned by yourself to play solitaire for the rest of the day.
Things seem to look up for you though, as you find yourself reading a text from Mingyu nearly halfway through your day.
You hadn’t spoken to Mingyu at all for the entire week, caving when you found an excuse to finally talk to him to ask where he’d left off on the book. It was even longer before that, reaching the near three week mark where you were virtually zero contact.
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you, his sudden absence raising a mild panic within you as your mind raced with the possibilities.
Was he uncomfortable with you?
Was he avoiding you?
Were you less low key than you thought? Was he catching on to how you still weren’t over him?
The wilder thoughts seemed to be laid to rest when you couldn’t take it anymore, texting under the guise of your mutual book topic. Your brain still couldn’t handle it, picking up minuscule details in his texting behavior. Perhaps his replies were choppy, perhaps they were shorter than usual, but it was enough to give your mind the rest it needed regardless of whatever the facts were.
Needless to say, you were more than happy to receive a text from him first after weeks, immediately replying.
[Mingyu]: hey [Mingyu]: are you at work today? [You]: yeah [You]: i get off at 10 tho [Mingyu]: can i see you today?
You try to contain the growing flurry of excitement as you type. It was easier to stay casual over text, you find yourself appreciating.
[You]: course [You]: are you coming to the store? [Mingyu]: i’ll meet you at your place when you get off [You]: okay!!! [You]: see you then
There’s a ghost of a smile on your face as you switch to playing computer chess in celebration. Your day was going horribly, but perhaps it was to balance out the happiness you were feeling at the thought of seeing Mingyu in person after nearly a month.
Were you being dramatic? Possibly. But you figured you’d been left waiting long enough. You let yourself have a spring in your step for the rest of the day, closing up nearly an hour early as you practically skipped back home, enjoying the significantly better nightly weather. Maybe you were abusing your employee privileges, but you couldn’t take the anticipation anymore.
Humming to yourself, you're hopping into the shower as soon as you get home, wanting to freshen up as quickly as possible before he gets here. It was near heaven’s plan the way the day is unfolding for you. Perhaps the universe knew you needed the time to unwind today, bringing Mingyu to you despite the near four week gap.
Grabbing your pens and your book, you settle on the kitchen counter to do something you’d been looking forward to all day, nearly giddy that Mingyu would be joining you to wind down with you soon enough. You’re invested by the time the doorbell rings, a simultaneous text from Mingyu, confirming that he was at the door.
Opening the front door is probably the easiest thing you’ve done all day, grin at the ready as you greet him.
“Hey,” you breathe out at the sight of him.
“Hi,” he replies, slipping inside as you give him space to take off his shoes.
Leading him into the kitchen, you comment lightheartedly, “Nice to see you’re still alive.”
He chuckles slightly at that, “Yeah…sorry about that. I’ve been pretty caught up with…stuff.”
“The exhibition? Weren’t you nearly done with that?” you question as you pass him a glass of water.
He takes a sip before setting it down again, both hands holding the cup on the counter. “It wasn’t that, I’ve been done for a while. Just waiting.”
“It’s next week, isn’t it?”
He hums in response, taking another minuscule sip of water.
“What was it that was keeping you this occupied for so long then?” you continue with a slight snort, trying not to over analyze his slightly…off putting behavior.
“Uh,” he starts, “Is Seokmin home?”
“Seokmin?” you frown, confused. Was he here to see your brother? “He’s out. I thought you knew.”
“Yeah, I know. Just confirming.”
“Oh.” You sit down on your own chair at the counter, trying to make sense of his mood.
“Mingyu, are you okay—”
“I need to talk to you.”
“O-okay.”
It’s silent. Painfully so.
“I don’t know how else to bring this up so I’m just gonna cut to the chase.”
There’s no reply from your end as you simply stare at him in anticipation, wondering what on earth had him looking this serious as he faces you in his seat.
“I know I’ve done a lot to hurt you. Never enough to match what you’ve felt, but I know you’ve been through the muck because of me, and it makes me feel horrible that I was the cause of something like that.”
“Mingyu—“
“I want to apologize, before I say anything else. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. And I know an apology isn’t gonna take away what I did to you, but I just need you to know that I’m really, really sorry.”
His breathing is heavy as he talks, while yours is near nonexistent as you need to remind yourself to breathe manually.
“I’ve done a lot of growing up in the past year. And I hate myself for making you a subject of that transition when you were the last person that deserved it. I’m happy to say that won’t happen again, because I’ve learned my lesson. For good.”
He pauses.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me, because… because I don’t know if I’ll ever deserve it for what I’m about to say. I may be acting selfish right now but, I think you deserve to know after everything.”
“I love you. I love you so, so much it hurts. I…I’m sorry, I love you. I don’t know how else to say it but, I love you. And I might be hurting you even more with this but I swear I’m not lying. I love you.”
There’s tears now, heavy ones that drip down his face as he refuses to look back up at you, eyes screwed shut in a desperate attempt to halt the pure emotion that’s trailing down.
You have your own wet cheeks, glossy, shaking eyes that don’t tear away from his hunched form. You’re listening. You’re listening to everything and it’s too much.
“Mingyu,” you whisper. You give up on trying to talk as you let out a breath that sounds almost like a sob.
It’s silent for a few more moments as you absorb everything that’s happening, mind running a hundred miles an hour yet, still as a rock. It’s too much.
“Mingyu, I can’t believe you’re saying this to me.” Your voice is quivering, but you manage the words. “After everything. You’re standing in this very kitchen and saying this to me.”
The deja vu was overwhelming, and you’re projected back to last year when the both of you stood on these very tiles, as you poured your heart out to the man in front of you, only to be told you were an idiot to think he could ever love you like that. The words may not have been said, but the message was clear: you were not made for Kim Mingyu.
And yet, you find yourself in front of an apologetic man, expressing his remorse. And oozing love for you, of all people. Why now? You want to scream. Where was this when you were ready to take him so willingly in your arms.
You’re lying if you say you still don’t want to plant yourself in his hold to sob out your own wretched “I love you”’s. You wanted to go to him. To take what you’ve wanted for so, so long.
But you can’t. You can’t do it.
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m not asking you to do something about any of this. I’m not asking anything of you at all. I just need you to know.”
You bite back a remark, trying so hard to calm yourself down.
“I think you should go.” Your voice breaks. “Please.”
Mingyu is gone. But his scent lingers. His cup remains on the counter, the same one he put his lips to. As he prepared to speak, and speak, and speak.
You can’t stand to stay in the kitchen anymore.
You were fourteen the first time Mingyu broke your heart.
It was an accident, perhaps, considering you were willing to do absolutely anything to be around Mingyu when your brother would have him over. What you didn’t know this time, was that the both of them had company.
Tiptoeing down the hall was easy the second you heard your brother's voice coming from the kitchen, announcing that he was getting drinks for them. The plan was simple; walk in under the guise of being annoyed at Seokmin for something and then relish when Mingyu would defend you from his inevitable rage — except this time you’d have a few extra minutes alone with him before your brother trudged back.
Putting on the best annoyed face you could, you stalk past Seokmin’s room, immediately wishing you hadn’t. Mingyu was in your brother's room as expected, sitting on the floor, surrounded by papers with numbers and letters too complex. But he wasn’t alone. There was a girl that sat between his legs, turned over in his arms as they whisper to each other. They weren’t studying at all; the giggles and smiles were a dead giveaway.
You halt in your tracks at the edge of the doorway in mild disbelief, brain computing the situation in front of you. They hadn’t noticed you yet, it was apparent with the way she leans into him to place her lips on his in a peck.
There’s a yell of your name behind you as Seokmin sees you loitering around his room. You jump in surprise, not expecting him back so quickly. Your brother, too, isn’t alone, a girl of his own accompanying him with her arms full of cans, peeking over his shoulder to catch sight of your distressed form.
“What’re you doing?”
Running was the worst thing you could do, and yet you found yourself doing just that in your cornered state. Catapulting face first into your pillows, the sobs coming before you could muffle them. It was humiliating, even more so when you feel your mother’s hand coming up to your shoulder in a stretch of comfort.
“I yelled at him, he won’t do it again!” she attempted to reason with you, trying endlessly to get you to emerge from your cavern of comforters.
“It’s not that!” you groan.
“What is it then? Darling, I won’t know if you won’t tell me.”
Your mother gave up a little bit after that, and your brother had apologized for yelling at you; apologized for all the wrong reasons. You brushed him over.
There were worse things circling your mind in that moment, like the image of Mingyu in a liplock with another girl, the image of him holding her with all his limbs.
You couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.
“What the fuck, is wrong with the both of you?” Your brother swoops in like a pesky seagull and snatches the book right out of your hands, eyes blown in exasperation.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Give it back!” you yell, reaching for the book that he’s placed over his head. Climbing the couch does little when he simply moves away from you.
“Not until you tell me what’s going on between you and Mingyu.”
“Nothing is — ugh,” you drop back onto the couch in frustration. You take a deep breath. “Nothing is going on. Now can I have my fucking book back?”
“No, you're avoiding each other.”
“He’s your friend, why would I hang out with him?”
“Stop dodging the question!” he spits.
“Stop dodging.” You exclaim as you jump for the book another time.
“Why don’t you want to go to the exhibition?” He throws the book to the corner of the room. It takes every fiber in your body to stop yourself from plucking every strand of hair off his head.
“Seokmin!” you scream.
“Your book’s fine. Is this about the guy you told me about?” He asks, hands grabbing you by the upper arms, forcing you to look at him.
“No, it’s not,” you grit.
“Why don’t you want to go to the exhibition?” he repeats, making direct eye contact.
“Because,” you start, exhaling deeply, “I’m tired.”
“It’s an exhibition for fucks sake, an exhibition with your face plastered all over it. You go in for five minutes and you’re out. Put something on and let’s go!”
“I don’t want to go.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. You’ve been doing nothing but go to work and stay home, you need air.”
“I need you out of my air,” you swat his hands away, thoroughly disgruntled.
“I’m giving you twenty minutes.”
He was serious, you realize as he begins to pound on your door with two minutes left to spare. You decided you weren’t about to be embarrassing and show up in your sweatpants, encasing the final shreds of dignity you had left. You couldn’t imagine being asked “who?” when the face on the walls doesn’t match with the one you brought to the place, not doubting the number of fancy scouters that’d be gracing the crowd tonight.
Opting for a plain black dress and a coverup felt enough for you, your usual makeup and matching accessories helping you feel better about the bags under your eyes your concealer couldn’t quite erase.
Seokmin says nothing for probable fear of having you landing back on the couch, choosing to ask you a simple, “Ready?” instead.
The drive is short and silent, the remnants of you and your brother's prior argument still hanging in the air. You weren’t about to apologize to each other, but you would let the hours cool you off before you’re back to your normal selves. For now, you’re glad to step out of the stuffy car, the anticipation having you needing to breathe in an elevated sense.
The place is more crowded than you thought it would be, men and women in fancier than necessary clothes loitering the entrance carpeting. You suddenly feel underdressed.
Catching Mingyu’s name is easy, the display at the front doing the most to highlight the star of the night, catching sight of him is proving a little more difficult. Not that you’re trying, but Seokmin’s embarrassing neck stretches are having you restraining yourself from pulling him down by the collar.
Walking into the display is a strange experience, for you at least. The pictures are larger than you’d thought they would be, spanning the giant walls of the gallery. Your face is huge.
There’s a few other one’s that scatter between the portraits, beautiful all the same. You find yourself wandering as you note the plaques next to the pieces, descriptions and words from the artist; Mingyu’s words. It’s easy to begin looking at the pictures through his eyes, the meticulous scanning you’re doing proving easier for you to zone out despite the crowd.
You’ve gone through nearly every picture, approaching the last one, the one that looked a little more important than the rest as you take in its size. The steps you take towards the plaque are halted as you hear someone calling for you. You recognize his voice, how could you not?
Mingyu is weaving through the crowd to get to you, eyes locked as he tries to make way for himself. Your mouth is open by the time he’s here, mind frantic as you try to figure out what you should say.
Congratulations.
You’ve worked hard on this.
This looks great.
How’ve you been?
“You’re here,” he says, simple as that.
“I’m here,” you breathe out, a nervous smile on your face as you look down at your shoes.
“Seok told me you were here too.”
Your head snaps up, “You were looking for me?”
“I mean, it’s a bit difficult with the crowd—”
“Oh,” you cut him off before you could forget. “Congratulations, by the way. The turnout looks great.”
“Uh, yeah. It’s great.” His eyes skim around the large hall.
You hate how his craning is drawing your eyes to everything else. So to say the plain black button up and slacks he’s sporting, the thin chain he wears around the unbuttoned collar. You hate how he’s put in no effort, and you hate how it makes him look even better somehow.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks after he rounds back to you.
Your reply is drowned in your throat as somebody calls for him across the hall, pointing at a mic in their hands.
“I have to go address everyone, you’ll be here, right?” he asks, but he once again has no chance to listen to your answer when somebody physically drags him by the elbow and yanks him away from you. You lose sight of him in the crowd of people, his face disappearing.
It gives you enough opportunity to slowly turn around to go back to your plaque reading, exhaling loudly as you walk up to the final, biggest piece on the wall. It’s labeled as the focal point of the collection. It’s a picture of you, and for some reason, you can’t remember taking it, or posing for it at all.
You recognize the mountain top, more so the grueling trek up the place for your last shoot with him. It’s a side profile, your arms folding over the railing, face tucked into your padded arms. A single ray of light illuminates your eyes, the background soft.
The picture was an accident. A moment that may have gone forgotten, yet one that appeared right when it was meant to. A mistake made on purpose, one that manages to carry the weight of years. A slow accession of golden rays, dawn illuminating the subject in hues indescribable, except those that describe a feeling. A feeling in turn, indescribable.
Soft. Legible. New.
You take a step back.
And another
Then another.
You look at the picture, the picture of you. Taken the one time you weren’t actively posing for the camera, the one time he wasn’t meant to take a picture of you. It landed here, at the seemingly deserved position of a final piece. The piece that was meant to emulate all that the artist wanted to come out of his work.
You crane your neck up higher, the name of the collection in bold block letters right above the picture that supposedly says it all.
THE BEGINNING
There’s a ball forming in your throat, one that's cementing itself where it stays.
There’s noise happening in your peripherals, somebody speaking into a mic on stage. You’re not paying attention until you hear his name.
“I’m pleased to present to you the man of the hour, mister Kim Mingyu…”
You watch with glossy eyes as he takes the stand, clearing his throat before he begins to speak.
You needed to leave.
Finding Seokmin is easy, and you thank every plane of heaven that it is, considering you’d rather be caught dead than be seen red nosed and teary eyed.
“Let’s go home.”
“Huh? Right now? He just started talking.” Seokmin argues, tearing his eyes away from the stage to gape at you, only to note the expression on your face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Seokmin, you said five minutes.” You grip his sleeve tight. “Please, either give me the keys, or I’ll get a cab.”
He pauses for a moment, and you immediately hate yourself for making him choose between staying for his best friend or leaving for his sister. He slowly comes down to grip your hand, pulling you away.
“Let me drop you off home.”
You’ve calmed down a significant amount during the car ride home, managing to convince (fight) Seokmin into going back to the exhibition hall before Mingyu noticed that he was gone. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you made him miss something as important as this just because you couldn’t control your emotions.
He hugs you at the door, tight, and you hug back just as strong, holding back the river of tears that suddenly threaten to let loose. He presses his lips to your temple, muttering a little ‘I love you’ before he leaves. He knew nothing, yet was ready to comfort you like he did.
You let yourself sob after that, as wracking and strong as they’d come. It’s freeing, to fall to your knees and simply cry like a child. You aren’t sure what it is that you’re crying about, yet you know all the same. The thought of both those things make your head begin to spin, causing another fresh wave of tears to come rushing down.
Remnants of the day Mingyu spoke his truth to you in your own kitchen come tumbling back; the shock, the anger, the hurt, and despite everything, the love.
You loved Mingyu, you weren’t going to sit here and deny it when you were a mess of jewels on the floor with only his face at the forefront of your mind. You’re a liar if you say you don’t love him. You’re a liar if you say you’ll ever stop.
Years and years of pining and wishing and praying, to hope that one day, Mingyu would open his eyes with the realization that he loves you the same.
The day came. Your prayers were granted, your wishes came true; you no longer had to sit on the sidelines as an ignored constant. And yet, you found yourself wanting to be anywhere but in his presence as the prayer unfolded.
Were you too weak to handle reciprocation? Have you gotten comfortable pining by yourself? Or was it something completely else. Were you still hurt by his words? Were you aghast at his audacity to have the courage to speak his heart to you, when you went years without doing so?
Were you protecting yourself? Or were you actively throwing the golden chance you’d received right out the window?
You’re tired, it’s evident with the effort it takes you to simply reach your bedroom, heels thrown somewhere in the doorway as you made the trek barefooted. Hoping your muscles would release the pent up tension at the learnt feeling of the mattress, you find yourself closing your eyes awaiting the relief.
Still clad in your dress and makeup, you attempt to find the solace of sleep, knowing you’d feel nothing if there was nothing to perceive. The universe doesn’t seem to want to give you that luxury, your eyes wide awake despite closed lids. The thoughts aren’t showing signs of slowing down either, every part of your mind alive as you remain still as a rock on your bed.
You aren’t sure how long you’ve been in bed, but as you hear the distinct jingle of keys in a lock, you know Seokmin is home. The door of your room is opened very quietly, and closed just as quick when he sees your form in bed seemingly asleep.
You open your eyes for the first time in hours, the darkness remaining as you slowly sit up against the cushions. Your movements are sluggish as you stare into the abyss, brain quiet for once as you swing your bare legs over the mattress, slowly trudging down the hall to your brother's bedroom.
Knocking slowly, you hear a slight shuffle before the door is opened, the light from inside the room illuminating the dark hall and forcing you to squint.
“Did I wake you?” Seokmin asks, sporting formal trousers with his dinosaur pajama shirt.
“Uh, no, I was awake.”
“Why haven’t you changed yet?”
You ignore him, cutting straight to the chase, “Can I borrow your car?”
There’s silence for nearly three seconds before Seokmin speaks, “What on earth do you need my car for this late at night?”
“Nayeon’s”
“Bullshit.”
You let out a loud, loud sigh, “Will you believe it for now?”
Your brother looks at you with an expression you can’t really pinpoint, eyes like he’s scanning into your soul. “The keys are at the door.”
You walk back to your room to grab your phone and your cover up, not bothering to change as you grab Seokmin’s keys and leave. It probably wasn’t a good idea to leave the house so late at night, but your brain seems to have activated tunnel vision as you nearly stalk towards the car. You’re pulling up to where you need to be within minutes, the empty roads leading you on near autopilot.
By the time you’re standing in front of the door, your desire to settle this once and for all turns pungent in your head. You needed to end this one way or another, you were tired of running in circles.
Ringing the doorbell is easy, it’s just the realization that settles during those few moments of waiting that grab you by the throat. You were really doing this.
Mingyu opens the door quicker than you’d anticipated, after briefly wondering if he’d already gone to sleep after the long day he’s probably had. His brows furrow as he registers you at his door, your name tumbling out of his lips in mild confusion. He’s still in the clothes you saw him last, and you doubt it’s been long since he got home too.
“Promise me you mean it,” you say.
“What?”
“Promise me you mean it.”
“Mean what?” The crease between his brows deepens as he tries to make sense of what you’re saying.
“Whatever you said. Promise me you mean it. Promise me. On all the years we spent together, on every truth you've ever said to me. Promise on me that you mean it.”
The silence is deafening, yet you wait. You wait for him to respond. You wait for him to understand what you’re saying.
Mingyu gulps before opening his door wider, expression neutralizing slightly as he invites you inside. “Why're you standing on the door? Come inside.”
“I’m not taking another step in your direction, Kim Mingyu, not until you answer me,” you snap.
Letting his hand leave the grip on the door, he brings them both up to rub at his face, taking a simultaneous breath, deep and shaky. When he emerges his eyes are showing a hint of red as he licks his lips.
Your grip on your own fingers tighten as Mingyu talks.
“I want to rip my heart out for what it wants from you. I want to rip it out for what it did to yours. Believe me when I say I’ve forgotten how it felt to be this sincere. I love you. I don't deserve to say it, but I love you.”
There’s a beat that passes, one that you barely feel as you throw your bag on the floor of his entryway, grabbing him by the collar with both hands as you yank his face down to hover right in front of yours, nose touching, lips not quite.
“If you’re lying to me,” you whisper, shaky voiced, “I’m gonna chop your balls off.”
Mingyu answers for you as he finally, finally closes the cursed gap between you, lips capturing yours in a long awaited kiss. You let him pull you inside as you move your lips against each other, the distinct click of the door signaling you were finally inside.
His hands grip your hips and waist in a manner that’s near painful, yet you can’t find yourself complaining even as he pushes you against the now closed door, hard. His mouth leaves yours for what is barely a second, before your desperate hands move his face back in to continue what you’ve been wanting to do for years.
His mouth is warm, the vaguest hint of champagne on his tongue. You wonder how many toasts he’s clinked and downed, how many times he thought of you as he celebrated.
“I love you,” you mumble against his lips.
Mingyu’s hands are pushing your body against his own, so flush and tight you can barely breathe. Like he’d rather die than bring space between the two of you in that moment.
“I love you, too,” he mumbled back between kisses. “I love you so much.”
Both of your hands are beginning to roam, less innocent than the fingers tangled in his hair and digging into his shoulders, less innocent than the grips on your hips and neck. It isn’t until his hands are groping your ass that you begin to subconsciously tug at his shirt, wanting the wretched thing out of the way to finally feel him in full.
There’s a warm hand that grips yours as he stops you, lips pulling away slightly as he rests his forehead against yours. There’s a wild moment of sobriety as you wonder if you’ve read the situation wrong, if you pushed too far.
“You’re asking me for something I’m ready to give you.” He sounds breathless. “But I need to know if you really want it.”
He looks absolutely gorgeous with his swollen lips, your lipstick staining his own mouth, his messy hair from all the desperate fingers running through them. It takes one look into his bedroom eyes to have your yeses tumbling out your mouth.
“I want it. I want it if you’ll give it to me. Mingyu, please.”
He leans in to give you a soft peck before pulling away slowly. “You can stop me whenever, just say the word.”
He’s facing you as he speaks, hands pulling you further into the house in slow and steady steps. “I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me to, I promise.”
By the time you reach the four walls of his bedroom, you’re itching to have his hands on you again, something he senses as he presses his hot mouth to your awaiting lips. His touches become decreasingly respectful as his hands run up your sides, thumbs brushing against the sides of your clothed breasts as he moves his mouth further down.
Kisses line your jaw, reaching the joint as he nips at your earlobe teasingly. Pushing the coverup off of your shoulders is easy, fingers tracing the exposed skin as his mouth moves down to your neck, nipping and sucking teasingly. Your breathing is embarrassingly heavy.
“You’re gorgeous,” you hear him breathe out.
His fingers fit under the zipper of your dress not too long after, pulling it down to reveal your back tantalizingly slow. His hands smooth over your waist once he reaches the bottom, bringing them up to your upper body as you feel his palms grab your breasts in a soft squeeze. The moan you let out is small, but enough to encourage him to bring his hands to the straps of your dress, pulling them down your shoulders one after the other.
“Do you realize how good you looked in this today,” he says. “Was so happy you came, so, so happy to see you after so long.”
Mingyu kisses you again in a slow, passionate manner, hands pushing down the tight fabric of the bodice to let it fall off your body to a pile on the floor. It leaves you bare save for your bra and panties.
Mingyu lets out a groan at the sight in the dimly lit room, the sound checking in as one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard, the vibrations leading straight to your core like they belonged there. The focus goes back to his hands that continue to roam your body, mouth traveling further south to leave hot, open mouthed kisses on your cleavage.
Your own fingers come up to fiddle with the buttons of his dress shirt, managing to pull a couple loose as you whine, “Mingyu.”
“Patience, my love.” He moves you backwards slowly as his mouth leaves your chest, pushing you into the plush of his mattress as you feel the back of your knees bump into the edge. “Let me take my time with you.”
He brings a knee up to the bed as he keeps his gaze on you, beginning to unbutton the rest of his shirt as you prop yourself up on your elbows. For once, you’re allowed to stare at the sculpt of his chest and abdomen, letting your gaze take you to the dipped V before the cut off. The mere sight of his fingers working against his belt have you needing to close your thighs for the sake of your now throbbing core.
Only clad in his dark boxers, you let him climb over you in a way you can only describe as a prowl, inserting himself between your legs as he pushes your head up to the headboard. The hand that splays out on your thigh is having the muscle twitch, the anticipation for what he might do next gripping you.
“Let me get this off of you,” he says with his hands toying with the elastic of your bra, prompting you to arch your back so he could reach under to unclasp it in a way you can only call professional.
There’s barely any time for you to feel a semblance of embarrassment when he flings the padding away, mouth coming in direct contact with your breast in a harsh suck. The feeling has you moaning his name into the dark room, only encouraging his wet tongue to circle around the bud before going back to suckling. He doesn’t forget your other breast as he brings his hand up to squeeze the mound and play with your nipples the same.
The sensations are overwhelming already, your hands gripping his hair in desperation as you throw your head back at his ministrations. The ache in your underwear is becoming increasingly difficult to resist, the foreign feeling of his mound against your inner thigh only coursing more want into your awaiting heat.
Your chest is a mess of redness and saliva but the time Mingyu’s had his fill, pulling away to admire the work he’s left.
“Fuck, Mingyu, please,” his name is the only thing that comes out in your pleas, hoping he’d give you wanted before you lost your mind for good.
“I love this lighting on you,” he says simply, moving to sit on his knees as he takes his eyes up and down your practically naked frame.
Both hands come in to push your thighs further apart, giving him better access to the gold that sits right in between. “You’re beautiful.”
You feel the pad of his thumb come in contact with your clit in the lightest pressure, slowly brushing over the muscle as he continues. “The most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.”
He presses his thumb in further, pushing down to meet your hole, the source of the large wet patch on the fabric of panties. The whimpers the new feeling is having you let out are near embarrassing. Hooking his fingers around your panties, he asks, “Can I take these off?”
“Yes!” you gasp out immediately, hip rising to let them slide the pesky fabric off and away.
He wastes no time in bringing his fingers to your folds, gathering your arousal in his fingers as he spreads them across your throbbing clit. He’s rubbing the area in circular motions, the feeling having you wracking out sounds you never thought you could make. The sheets are bunched up in your grip as you throw your head back at the feeling that encases you, eyes screwed shut.
“Oh, Mingyu,”
That only encourages him as his other hand joins the party, a lone finger circling your entrance in preparation to plunge into you, slowly, all the way to the hilt of his finger. Zoning in on the feeling, the pump of his fingers into your core, the constant ministrations of his other thumb on your clit. Your hands leave his wrinkled sheets as they come in to grip his wrists and forearm, needing to feel his skin to anchor yourself into the present. Not being able to bring yourself to open your eyes, he takes it upon himself to insert another finger, encouraging your lids to fly open at the stretch and the loud moan that comes with it.
“God, you’re so fucking wet, I’m barely pushing.” It may have embarrassed you a little if you weren’t so withdrawn from pleasure, the prospect only having you whimper his name even more.
It isn’t when he curls his fingers inside you that you feel the need to stifle the sounds that come out of your throat, hand to mouth as the volume has you needing to shut yourself up. He brings his hand off your clit to grab you by the wrist, freeing your mouth of restraint.
“Don’t,” his voice gravelly as he gets off his knees to hover over you, his other hand continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you in perfect motions. “I wanna hear your voice. I wanna hear all the pretty sounds you’re making.”
He leans in to place a chaste kiss on your mouth, fingers quickening their pace as your sounds grow louder, “Mingyu, I think I’m…I think I’m close.”
“It’s okay, let go whenever, darling, it’s okay.” His other hand goes back to its rightful position on your clit, thumb circling the bud in quick motions as he encourages you to climax.
And you do. The blissful release comes crashing into you hard, the feeling leaving nothing but white hot space in the expanse of your brain, letting the feeling take over as you melt into the sheets. “F-fuck…”
He doesn’t stop either hand till you physically have to push his fingers off of you, the overstimulation coming in hot.
You don’t come around for a little bit, but feel every searing kiss he leaves on your skin in the aftermath. Pressed into your chest, your collarbones, you neck and your jaw. He makes his way up to your face slowly, pressing his lips onto your closed lids as you wait for your breathing to even out. His face is the first thing you see when you open your eyes, leaning forward to press your own lips against his.
“How was that?” he asks slowly, and you don’t miss the hint of a smirk on his face. You can’t help but break into a smile of your own.
“Great.”
“Great?”
“Amazing.” You lean in to kiss him again, palms coming in contact with the expanse of his back as you move your mouths together. It’s not long before your fingers reach the waistband of his boxers, hands coming up front to feel him through the fabric, palming him in the process.
You feel him shudder in your hold, lips pulling away as he stares into your eyes.
“What?” you ask in a whisper when he makes no other moves.
“I’m trying to think if I have condoms or not,” he whispers back, and you can’t help but let out a laugh at his delivery. He begins to giggle with you, backing up as he reaches over to rummage through his nightstand.
“Fuck yeah,” you hear him say as he comes round with the shiny pack. He’s giggling as he undoes the wrapper, the lighthearted nature of it all bringing a laugh to your own lips.
Pulling his underwear down and off, you watch as he preps himself with the rubber, your own hand coming up in a trance to stroke his gorgeous length lightly, his palms ghosting over your hand at the feeling. Once he decides he can’t take it anymore he’s grabbing both your wrists to pin them beside your head in one swift motion, earning a gasp from you at the abruptness.
“I’m gonna put the tip in first, let you adjust before I go in further,” he explains as he uses his knee to push your thighs apart to grant him more access. “I’m gonna listen to you throughout, okay? Just say so if you want me to stop, I’ll hear you.”
When you don’t reply he continues, “I need to know you heard me, baby.”
“I heard you,” you answer, and he finally lets go of one of your hands to guide his length to your entrance, gathering your remaining arousal. He’s sliding his tip across your folds, grinding onto your clit within his length and it has you nearly careening off the edge.
“Mingyu, in, please!” you beg, and you hear him chuckle before he’s finally pressing the tip into your prepped hole.
You almost breathe a sigh of relief as you feel him begin to push into your hot core, keeping his promise of only getting to the tip, before bringing himself out and going back in. He’s slow as he stretches you out, his hands coming up to the sides of your head as he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. Lifting one of your legs, you wrap them around his waist as you grant him further access into you, one of his hands coming up to keep your raised leg steady.
He halts when he finally bottoms out, pausing for breath. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just,” you manage, arms wrapped around his shoulders tight. “Give me a second.”
When you give him the green light and he begins to move out slowly, only to thrust back in, you find yourself settling into the sheets more consciously, ready to take what he was about to finally give you. You’re both a mess of whimpers and sounds, the feeling overtaking any shreds of restraint you had left. His hands are groping you everywhere, his fingers finding your breasts again as he begins to toy with your nipples, all while thrusting into you at a steady yet equally maddening pace.
He feels amazing, beyond just his dick. The feeling of his body pressed against yours is heavenly, the tears beginning to slowly prick at your eyes as you let yourself melt into his hold, a metaphorical layer away from morphing into his skin entirely. The sounds he’s making are pure melodies, the groans, grunts and heavy moans floating around in your otherwise empty head like they’d never ever leave. They do more when they encourage the building feeling in your abdomen, your moans growing increasingly erratic.
If the bed is creaking from his incessant thrusting, you don’t hear it. The only thing ringing in your head being the near closure you’re about to receive from him. “Gyu, I’m…”
“Shit, me too.” he grunts, and you believe him as his movements begin to grow sloppier, his hips slamming into yours with more force than before.
And then it’s bliss, the feeling dropping in on your body as you feel yourself begin to spasm in his hold, the loudest moan ripping from your throat at the sensation. You’re contracting around him so, so good, and it’s enough to have him moaning into your own ear as he feels his climax come over him as well.
He’s shooting his load into the rubber, and for a wild moment you wish he’d rip it off and finish inside you instead, your blabbering brain wanting to take all of him in. The fever passes in a few heavy minutes, Mingyu’s body is dropped on top of you, his length remaining inside your warmth as you both relished in the post sex haze.
He’s first to pick his sweltering body off of yours, the cool air hitting your skin as he pulls out of you slowly. You’re still trying to come to earth, even when you hear the water beginning to run in the attached bathroom, even when he walks out in a fresh pair of boxers, walking over to your form on the bed.
His fingers run through your hair as he places soft kisses on your temple, coaxing you to open your eyes. “Come on babe. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
When you make no moves to get up despite opening your eyes, he’s physically pulling you up to grace your head on his chest in an effort to take a step back into the world. His fingers continue to thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as you breathe in his scent. You do end up getting up and letting him lead you to the bathroom, but only after he threatens to carry you there over his shoulder. The bath is already drawn when you dip your feet into the warm water, planting yourself inside as you lean against the walls of the tub.
“Gyu, why is it warm?” you whine, wanting a cooler temperature to hit your sticky body.
He chuckles as he sits by the tub, hands coming in to wet your hair for you, “I’m scared your body’s gonna go into shock if I chucked you into a cold bath. You’ll feel better in a minute, love.”
You don’t argue as he does most of the work for you, shampooing, scrubbing and conditioning. He lets you sit in the tub for a little bit as he leaves to get you a towel and a shirt, coming back to continue coaxing you to leave the tub this time. You grab his outstretched hand, pulling him down to sit next to you again.
“Sit with me for a little bit, right here,” you say as you lean over the edge of the tub.
“I can sit with you in bed once you’re dried up,” he tries to reason. “Under the covers. Where it’s more comfortable than hard acrylic, remember?”
Pouting a little, you let him wrap you in a towel as you admit defeat, too tired to argue much more than that. He continues to shrug one of shirts over your shoulders, going as far as drying your hair before finally letting you crawl back under the covers. He joins you soon after, wrapping his limbs around you in a tight embrace, breathing in the mix of his own shampoo and your scent.
“Are you okay? Did I do too much?” he asks quietly.
“Mhm,” you hum into his chest. “I’m okay.”
There’s a deep vibration in his chest as he finds your lack of response amusing, looking at your face that looks about three seconds away from slipping into dreamland. Nearly, he realizes, as your eyes are suddenly pushed wide open, a gasp leaving your throat.
“What? What?” Mingyu asks as you sit up all of a sudden scrambling to find your phone.
“My phone, where is it?” you ask as you ruffle through the covers.
“Did you bring it with you?”
You suddenly remember your bag that you threw in his entryway a couple hours ago, your phone nestled inside. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you attempt to stand up to retrieve it, only to find out the universe wasn’t about to let you do that. You don’t miss Mingyu’s chortle as he watches you nearly fall over after wobbling around like a fawn, your arms trembling as you pull yourself up back on the bed.
“What the fuck?” you breathe out.
“Get back on, I’ll get your bag for you.” He’s still smiling when returns, throwing your purse on the bed.
You immediately unlock your phone to find Nayeon’s contact, choosing to leave her a text considering the late hour.
“What is it?” Mingyu asks again as he watches you type, arms coming up from behind to engulf you in his hold again.
“I told Seokmin I was at Nayeon’s. He didn’t believe me but I’m telling her to cover for me anyway.”
“Oh.”
The thought comes to you later than it should have, realizing you’d have to involve Seokmin in…whatever this was, sooner or later.
“Don’t,” you hear Mingyu say behind you.
“What?”
“Don’t. I know what you’re thinking about. We can deal with Seokmin when we need to, don’t think about it right now, that’s my job.”
“I-”
“He needs to deal with me being serious about you,” he continues, giggling, “Even if I have to make you run away with me.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
He brings your wrist up to his mouth, placing a kiss there, “It won’t. I promise.”
The sitting up thing doesn’t last for too long, both of you wanting nothing more than to lay down for the lack of energy. Limbs are a tangled mess as you both lay in silence, tired but not wanting to go to sleep just yet. It stays that way for a while, head on his chest as you take in the aftermath of everything that’s happened.
You just had sex with Kim Mingyu. He loves you back. And you know he means it. This isn’t a hyperrealistic childhood fantasy, this is real life. You’re touching him, he’s holding you, you can hear his heart beat, you can feel his skin under the palm of your hand.
You’re distracted from your thoughts as you sense Mingyu reaching over the edge of the bed to his nightstand as he looks for something, bringing his hand over to show you a very familiar pink cover in his hands.
“Oh,” you let out as you recognize the title, snorting as you remember where the verdict for that ended, “We were supposed to talk about the ending.”
“We could do that right now.”
“Uh, about that,” you say. “I never actually got to finish it.”
“You were supposed to be done like two weeks ago,” he frowns.
“I didn’t get to finish it the day…the day you came over. Couldn’t bring it in myself to touch it after that.” you say as you note the little tabs sticking out the sides, wanting to address them.
“You can use this one to finish it then, it’s yours.”
You glance up at him as he talks, opening the book to skim through the pages. And then you see it, tiny scribbles on margins, sticky notes at chapter ends with his thoughts, colorful tabs sticking out of every highlighted line, everything complete with a color coded key in the front.
“I saw you do it with your other books, found out it’s not actually a crime to write in books and…I guess it became fun.” he explains as he watches you flick through the pages. “I was gonna give this to you at some point. Sounded like a thoughtful idea in my head.”
You don’t answer him, simply facing him in silence before continuing, “I would’ve been sucking your dick right now if I wasn’t so tired.”
He throws his head back in a loud laugh, the high pitched noise sounding across the room as he nearly curls up from the hilarity. You don’t think it was that funny, but maybe it’s because you were telling the truth. You’re pretty sure you’ve joked about wanting to do that to someone who’d do something like this for you, perhaps you could find the transcripts hidden in some text messages with Nayeon later to show Mingyu.
His laughter is contagious regardless, giggles of your own coming out as you watch him practically lose it.
“I think you need to go to sleep,” you comment through bouts of laughter.
He sighs a vocal sigh as he calms down slowly, agreeing with your suggestion that the near morning delirium was getting to both of your heads. You rest your newly acquired, yet equally prized possession to the side, finally turning in for the night as he reaches to turn his night lamp off.
Mingyu moves to press his forehead into yours, not before placing a tiny peck into your lips as he mumbles against them in the dark, “I love you.”
“I love you,” you hum back as you press your lips together one last time, finally letting his breathing lull you into sleep.
The mattress is foreign, so is the pillow, and so are the scents that linger in the room. It’s colder than you’d usually have it and the blankets feel different on your skin. And despite the most foreign thing in the room, the one that has his arms and legs wrapped around you, the one that whispered his love for you into your skin before drifting off, you find yourself falling into a sleep that’s more blissful than any you’ve had in a very, very long time.
The sun is doing nothing to help itself against the tide of annoyance tht rises in your sleepy state. You’d get up and yank the curtains but can’t bring yourself to have the motivation to leave the soft mattress, simply bunching the blanket up to your face to block out the remnants of sun rays that invade the room. You’ve nearly lulled yourself back to sleep when you start registering noises coming from outside the bedroom walls, muffled yet familiar.
Your brother is talking about something you can’t make out, Seokmin’s voice is undeniable despite passing through the folded layers of comforters around your head. You don’t doubt the presence of the sweat that’s probably already accumulated on your scalp.
There’s nothing that alarms you in the moment despite Seokmin’s yapping — that is until you hear a second voice.
You recognize it immediately as the sound of Mingyu’s talking, the words equally as muffled yet the intonation clear all the same.
Kicking the sheets off of your overheating body, you squint as you open your eyes in a desperate attempt to reign yourself back to earth, recollections of the past twenty four hours hurtling back to you like a constant line of K.O’s.
The gallery, the picture, the drive up to Mingyu’s place,the sex, the falling asleep in his arms. You sit up in Mingyu’s bed, clad in nothing but his own T-shirt as you realize your brother is downstairs talking to Mingyu, and you have no idea if he knows you're here.
You realize very quickly that you’re trapped, being left with no other option than to remain in Mingyu’s bedroom until he comes back up to give you the clear, despite wanting to walk out to take the tiniest peek. You’re not sure what’s worse, getting caught or sitting in the growing pool of anxiety before Mingyu gets back.
It’s a long, long twenty minutes, in which you’ve done just about everything to get to hear their conversation a bit better; or to distract yourself from the fact that it’s happening at all. Pressing your ear to the door before going back to make the bed. Freshening up in the bathroom before going back to jamming your eye into the keyhole (you aren’t sure why considering door faces a plain wall). You even hijacked a spare cup Mingyu had lying around the room to stick into the wall, hoping all those Mr. Bean cartoons hadn’t been lying to you.
They were simply talking in a tone too low for your ears to catch (despite the Mr. Bean hack), and you resorted to scrolling on your phone to pass the remaining time. It’s catastrophic to say the least, when you’re met with a string of frantic messages from Nayeon as well as a couple missed calls from your brother.
[Nayeon]: fuck [Nayeon]: i didnt see this [Nayeon]: he called this morning asking about you [Nayeon]: i accidentally told him you werent here [Nayeon]: im so sorry where are you [You]: its okay its my fault for texting so late [You]: i was at mingyus place [You]: ill tell you more later [Nayeon]: WHAT???
By the time Mingyu walks in, he’s mildly surprised to see you awake, pausing at the door as he takes in your huddled form. You sit up immediately, noting his still messy hair and the backwards sweatshirt he’s thrown on over his boxers. The question tumbles out of your lips before you can help it, “Was that Seokmin?”
“Good morning to you too,” he grumbles sarcastically, coming up on the bed to join you in your huddle fest. You’re a little embarrassed at the way you’ve greeted him first thing when he sees you, but his expression when he continues replaces it with something akin to fear. “And yeah, it was him.”
You want to ask him a follow up question, but you aren’t sure what to say, simply staring at him, hoping he’d get the hint and continue by himself. He does.
“The idiot has a spare key so he just…” He trails off, rubbing his hands on his face, “he just walked in straight to the room. Got the shock of his life, I suppose, ‘cause it woke me up while you kept snoring.”
“He walked into the room?!” you nearly screech, hand clamped over mouth, horrified. “What did he say to you?”
Mingyu has the audacity to laugh, simply tugging you back down on the bed to hold you. You briefly wonder how he’s so casual about this. “There’s not really an expected reaction from someone when they find you half naked in bed with their sister.”
The haphazardly shoved sweatshirt and no pants look was starting to make sense. “I heard you talking downstairs, what were you talking about?”
“Nothing you have to worry your pretty little head about,” his lips graze the shell of your ear as he snuggles further into you. “He wants you home by seven though.”
You throw your head back in a whine, “God, what am I gonna do?”
“You’ll be fine, he didn’t smack me, he can’t possibly be that mad at you.”
“What was he then, ecstatic?” you retort.
“I mean,” his energy shifts a little. “I think he’s just a little hurt that he wasn’t told.”
“So you’ve done your damage control and now I need to pray he doesn’t disown me.”
“God, you’re being so negative,” he comments and you can’t help but round up on him.
“And you’re acting like you don’t care!”
He’s planting a fat kiss on your cheek at your outburst, coming in to coddle you even more. “I’m kidding, I just want you to relax, don’t be upset.”
“Has he given you his verdict yet?” you ask quietly.
He sighs at the question and you can’t imagine his answer being any good. “Not yet, pretty up in the air about it.”
When he sees you deflate even more in his arms, he continues, “I’m sure he’s gonna come around, he loves you too much to not. It’s just a matter of time while he gets to make sense of the situation, don’t worry about it.”
“I hope so,” you reply.
“We might have wash his socks for the next five years once he does, but it’s okay.”
You can’t help but snort at the prospect, “His feet are stinkier than the regular human’s, are you sure about that?”
He grins, “I’d do it for you.”
You push his face away, rolling your eyes at his attempt to be sappy. “You’re gonna keep me for five years?”
His smile drops as you feel the atmosphere shift in the slightest, his presence moving impossibly closer to you. “I’m gonna keep you forever.”
Hearing it is enough to have you lurching forward, closing the final gap between you so you can give in to the urge to kiss him. He’s enthusiastic to give back, pulling your body to face him entirely as you mumble between kisses, “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
The rest of the day (once your anxiety’s calmed down, at least) is spent loitering around each other as you migrate around the house in random excess. He makes you breakfast, and you need to physically restrain him to stop feeding you every bite of pancake and bacon. You let him make your favourite for lunch though, after you finally admitted how much you truly liked his Chow Mein, going as far as to run to the store to grab the stuff he was missing. He returns with a bag of groceries, not missing an abnormal amount of moonpie value packs that he stashes in his cabinets because “you’re gonna be around all the time”.
6:30 rolls around quicker than either of you would have liked, needing to wiggle out of Mingyu’s hold on his couch to change out of your half naked state. He continues to delay you another ten minutes as he refuses to open his car door to let you walk into the apartment building, leaning over the console to continue mumbling whines between your own consoling kisses.
By the time you’re making the walk of shame up to your door, the pit of anxiety that began to brew this morning returns from its dormancy, no Mingyu here to help ease your nerves, Gripping your key tight in your hands, you brace yourself to jam and twist to finally end this matter once and for all (at least you hope you can).
Seokmin is waiting on the couch for arrival like a parent waiting to catch their child in the act. He briefly glances over at you as you whisper a tame “Hi”, slipping off your shoes. He doesn’t reply as he merely grabs the remote to pause his show, casting a heightened awkward atmosphere at the silence that’s now engulfing the room. You tread carefully over to the couch, where Seokmin sits with his arms crossed.
It takes one look at his face for you to suddenly want to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. He didn’t look angry, and perhaps you would’ve preferred his aggression if it didn’t mean having to look at a hurt Seokmin. You sit in silence for a couple dramatic minutes, hoping he would start talking so you wouldn’t have to. Yet, when you realize you might have to say something anyway for fear of crushing under the pressure, you find yourself opening your mouth.
“Are you upset?” Of course, he’s upset, you idiot.
“I just–” he starts, before sighing. “I just wish one of you would’ve told me what was going on.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” you reply. “I didn’t want either of you to have an excuse to be upset with each other, so I just…”
“I get that it was a recent thing but I think I deserved as much to know what was happening when I wasn’t around.”
You wince as speaks, realizing he hasn’t caught on to the fact that this isn’t recent at all — for you at least. “Um, about that…”
“What? There’s more?” he scoffs.
“I, uh…I’ve liked him since like fifth grade—” He’s immediately jaw dropped, eyes bulged, taking a sharp breath. “But! In my defense, it was really obvious—it’s honestly your fault for not noticing.”
‘My–My fault?!” he sputters. “That’s like, forever, and you told me nothing? Mingyu told me this was recent, why did he lie?”
“He didn’t, nothing happened till last night, I swear.” You cringe at what you’re entailing. “It was just me that liked him for that long, he figured it out pretty early on but…”
“He’s finally reciprocating now?” he suggests, almost sarcastically.
“Yeah,” you breathe out lightly.
“This is insane,” he blows out a breath of air, massaging his temples.
“I’m not being stupid about him,” you mutter lowly, “This isn’t some puppy dog crush, especially not after so long.”
He’s silent.
“I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think I’m jumping into this blind, especially for what it means for you too.”
No response.
“I’m sorry that you had to find out like this, it’s really not how I wanted it to go.” And when you’re met with even more silence, you find yourself continuing. “Please, talk to me. Cuss me out if you want, I’d honestly rather you yell at me.”
Seokmin sighs for the near hundredth time, finally looking like he might say something. “I want you to listen to me very carefully.”
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, mind immediately going to the worst. Was he going to ask you to break up with him?
“I’m gonna choose to trust the both of you on this,” he starts, and you nearly melt into the cushions, “It’s your life, you can date whoever you want. And…I guess Mingyu is better than someone else. Probably uses bad hair gel though.”
You’re catapulting yourself off the couch at the sound of that, throwing yourself onto an unassuming Seokmin. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“OW! Okay! Geez, get off,” he grumbles as he finally stops wrestling you to let go of him, hugging you back as you squeeze his shoulders tight.
“I promise I won’t keep anything like this from you again.”
“You better not,” he huffs as you let go of him, “Don’t think this means you’re forgiven. You still have a lot to tell me.”
“I promise I won’t leave out a thing.”
The following weeks are near bliss, following your very loud confrontation with Nayeon when she gets back from her summer vacation, her screams at every plot turn having you praying for her neighbors. You doubt she believed you despite everything, not until she physically sees Mingyu come in one day, making a beeline to peck you on the lips before greeting anyone else. Her dropped jaw was very telling.
Even now, as Mingyu sports the title of the lame alumnus that still hangs around campus as he grips your hand, walking through the grass, the double takes you’re receiving seem to be traveling quite fast. You wouldn’t necessarily blame them considering the trickier than usual dynamic you sport due to your brother (and you guess due to his reputation as well).
But you also knew they’d be quick to die out as the newer batches of students come flying in — Mingyu will soon become a very well kept secret, in one way if not the other.
His neighbors, however, must be wishing he had the same sentiment as well, considering the absolutely foul noises that are coming from his apartment.
You’re learning very quickly that Mingyu’s innocent touchiness can turn into something of the opposite at any given time, exhibit A being now as you try your damn hardest to muffle the sounds coming out of your mouth as Mingyu works his own mouth on your cunt. The knees over his shoulders are shivering from the expense, fingers pumping into your hole as he rubbed a particular spot with his tongue that had you gripping onto his hair tight.
As much as Mingyu loves to hear you, you find his other hand being brought up to place two fingers in your mouth for you as the perfect pacifier, sounds limiting extensively.
By the time you’re coming undone, sprawled on his couch like you just ran a marathon, you’re quick to realize that he has no intention of letting you have a breather. It takes one shove for him to pull his pulsing length out of his pants, tip pushing into your still sopping hole as he invited all of him inside you.
You’ll never forget the first time Mingyu fucked you raw, right after you told him he had the green light after taking your birth control pills. It was magic, you’ve never seen him this vocal as he finished inside you nearly four times in a single night. His moans remain loud even still, as he brings your thighs to press over your chest, basically folding you in half. The mere sound of your wetness as he pumps in and out of you is enough to have you nearly careening over the edge, especially when you feel a desperate hand reach out to rub fast circles on your clit.
You throw your head back as you cum for the second time, pulsing around him in a grip Mingyu can’t believe has the ability to become tighter. It’s enough for him though, as he leans his forehead against your chest as he releases himself inside you.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of it, watching you filled to the brim with his cum, even as it drips onto the blankets you’ve laid down below. He has half a mind to stuff the liquid back inside you, but fears you’re tired enough, the overstimulation too much for you.
By the time you’ve cleaned up and resumed the movie you should’ve been done with hours ago, cuddled impossibly close to him, you find yourself remembering something quite out of the blue.
“Hey, not that I really care anymore,” you start, “But who were the guys you were talking to that day? From the party.”
“Stopped hanging out with them ages ago,” Mingyu scoffs, face souring at the mention of them. “I mean, it was me who said all that bullshit, but they weren’t exactly good influences either. Learned that pretty quick.”
“Oh,” you reply simply, letting your head fall back onto his chest.
He doesn’t seem to be having any of it, grabbing your chin to have you face him. “I’m still really sorry about that. I don’t care if you chase my tail for another fifty years, it’ll always be adorable.”
“Forgave you a long time ago, but I think I have a condition now.”
He quirks a brow at your words. “What does her Highness ask of me?”
“That you chase my tail for another fifteen to make up for all the running I’ve done.”
He’s laughing at that, agreeing to your condition as places loving smooches all over your face. “Consider it done.”
It’s later on in the night, both of you huddled in ratty hoodies and mismatched slippers, plastic bag crinkling along Mingyu’s arm as you giggle about something he said. You’re enjoying your fudgsicle in the peace and serenity of the 1 AM hour, making your trek home after raiding the corner store down the block. Mingyu suddenly halts in his tracks as he sees a particularly pretty set of flowers, illuminated by the fluorescent street lights.
“Babe, babe, stand here let me take a picture of you.”
“What?” you frown, holding up your stick of iced chocolate. “I’m not done yet.”
You watch as he grabs the melting popsicle from your hand downing the entire thing in one go as you watch him, hand still outstretched and jaw dropped. “Mingyu, you bitch!”
He only smiles as he mulls the chocolate in his mouth, words basically gibberish, “‘ere’s more in the ba’, now go stan'!”
You huff as you trudge to where he was asking you to pose, throwing a couple peace signs to satiate the home video urges in him so you could rip open your second fudgsicle.
“Wait! You got a little chocolate on your mouth.” he announces, and you stick your tongue out to lick past the remnants of the sweetness. “No— wait.”
He walks over to you as your still trying to find the spot you missed, unassuming as he swings into your face to kiss the remaining off. “Oh, nevermind, it was nothing.”
You push him off as heat crawls up your face, feigning annoyance at his antics. You decide to forgive him when rips open another fudgsicle for you, offering it with both hands, promising to not steal a single lick. You believe him, snatching the stick from him as you continue your trek home.
It’s not until he’s attempting to send you the pictures he just took to your phone so you could post them (which, with the way you looked, fat chance) that he notices something in your albums.
“Oh, are these grad photos?” he asks as he clicks the album open.
“Mhm,” you hum not paying too much attention as you walked and ate.
“Why’s there only one picture here?” he asks as he pulls up to find nothing more left to load.
It’s only then that you bring your full attention to your phone in his hand as you realize what picture he’s talking about, “Oh god, don’t look at that one.”
He does the obvious thing and opens it anyway, a louder than necessary “aw” coming out his mouth. “Why do you look like I’m about to eat you?”
“It felt like it!” you whine, remembering the moment clear as day. “They kept pestering me to take a picture with you too, I was tryna book it out of there at first chance.”
He giggles as he zooms into the photo, “I’m sending this to myself.”
You groan loudly at the thought, “God, just delete it, leave it alone.”
He tucks the phone into himself further, not letting you grab it. “No, you’re not deleting it. Why do you have it tucked into a separate folder if you hate it so much.”
He’s got you there, you realize quickly, and he reigns in his victory as he watches you grimace at the phone slightly, adding on, “it has a lot of feelings attached to it, I get it. But look, we can attach new feelings to it, now you’ll think about right now the next time you see it.”
“Think about you hijacking my fudgsicles? I think I prefer heartbreak,” you say, bringing your half eaten pop closer to your body in case he tries anything.
You’re deemed correct when he replies, motioning towards your concealed treat, “Careful, I can still pounce when you’re not looking.”
Shoving your hands into the swinging bag hanging on Mingyu’s arm, you bring out a thing of sausage and shove it towards him, “You leave me and my fudgsicle alone, go be lousy and suck on this or whatever.”
“You’d know alot about that, wouldn’t you?” he notes casually, grabbing the sausage anyway as he unwraps it to take a bite.
It takes you a second to realize what he’s talking about while he stares at you with a mischievous expression, coming to shove him when the innuendo finally registers in your head. You do the opposite this time, pointing the melting chocolate toward him instead, threatening to smear it all over his white hoodie.
He laughs at the sight, disarming you by simply moving your wrist away, coming to kiss you on the mouth hard regardless of your annoyed expression.
“Love ya’” he giggles.
“Hm.”
“What, hm? Say it back.”
You pretend to wonder, “I don’t think so.”
“Say it!” he groans, “Say it, say it!”
You manage to wriggle out of his hold, booking it before he realises what’s happening.
“Hey!”
Your both probably waking up the entire neighborhood with how loud you’re yelling and laughing, and even when he manages to tackle you down on somebody’s lawn, coaxing the words out of you with borderline violence, you still manage to smile, thanking your lucky stars that you got what you wanted after all.
“What’re you thinking about?” he asks with an undertone.
“Thanking my stars they led me to you,” you reply.
“More like the other way around. Needed the fattest fucking star to realize what was in front of me all along,” he jests himself.
It sparks a laugh out of you. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
#mingyu#mingyu fluff#mingyu angst#mingyu smut#mingyu fic#mingyu scenarios#mingyu imagines#mingyu x reader#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen smut#seventeen fic#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt#svt fluff#svt angst#svt smut#svt x reader#em.writes
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movie night | s.c. ft b.c.
summary: after a rough day all you wanted was a movie night with your favorite boys, but when they forget it feels like you’re world is crumbling.
wc: 2.1k
warnings: hurt/comfort, fem!reader, gendered terms of endearment (sweet girl, baby girl, etc.), crying, meltdown.
a/n: i kinda got lost in the sauce w this one but week three wooo!!! don’t forget to check out @straykeedz versions!!! i hope you guys enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3
(i tense switch alot during this, i wrote it half asleep most of the time, i’ll edit it eventually lmao)
my library | bee’s vers | bee | binnie month | fundraiser
(pictures not mine! credit to owners!)
you were having a terrible day, nothing was going right and the only thing keeping you from completely breaking down was the movie night you had planned with your boyfriends.
8 o’clock came and you were all set up in your living room with snacks, blankets and of course wolf chan and dwaekki. you were sat on the couch, barely containing your excitement for the night ahead.
but then 8:15 came and you were still sat there alone, and then 8:20 you decided to send them a gentle reminder.
from sweet girl <3:
hi my loves, i’m all set up for movie night whenever you guys are ready 🖤
but 8:30 rolled around and then 9:00 and by that point you had sent several texts
from sweet girl <3:
i’m assuming you guys are still at the studio, just let me know when you’re on your way! love you guys 🖤
it’s getting kinda late, i hope everything’s okay, love you both very much 🖤🖤
i hope everything’s okay, but it’s getting late so i’m heading to bed, we can do movie night another night, goodnight my loves
now it’s 10:00, you had a terrible day and now the one thing you were looking forward to fell through, you were defeated. at your last texts you moped into your room needing nothing more than your warm bed and comfort movie.
luckily you had already put the snacks away after an hour of waiting realizing they probably forgot. once cozy in bed, you put monsters inc on your tv and pulled the two stuffies to your chest.
it was at this point the realization of what happened hit and you couldn’t stop the breakdown that followed. tears streaming down your face, breathing terribly uneven, and incoherent words falling from your mouth.
“they- they forgot about me.” you whimpered, hugging the plushies impossibly closer to you. the hoodie from changbin that usually helps calm you down, was now just a painful reminder of the two missing people.
you ripped the article of clothing off in an attempt to calm yourself, throwing it across the room. you settled back into the soft mattress, placing the gray and pink plushes to the side, opting for your soft blanket to calm yourself.
luckily after a few minutes your comfort movie had worked it’s magic and you felt yourself relax enough to finally fall into dreamland, tears drying against your skin as you slept.
unbeknownst to you, your boys were scrambling 15 minutes away in the studio. the producers had a habit of locking up their phones during their working hours to limit distractions but unfortunately that caused them to also forget about the plans they made with their favorite girl.
“oh fuck, hyung we gotta go, like now.” changbin shot up out of his chair once he realized the time. they were supposed to be at your apartment 2 hours ago to start movie night. “huh? what, what happened, what’s wrong?” trying to figure out what could’ve pulled such a reaction from the younger boy.
“look at the time,” he points to the time to emphasize his statement. “oh fuck,” the older of the two’s eyes goes as wide a saucers, whipping his head to the former. “we were supposed to be there 2 hours ago.” bin nods his head before moving to shut everything down.
“okay, okay, relax bin, let me save everything, you pack everything up then we can leave, okay?” changbin nods, realizing he’s right, this will all be completely in vain if they lost everything they were working on.
in the midst of gathering their items, changbin finally looks at his phone where he finds all the messages you sent, the last one being sent 15 minutes ago. he quickly texts out a response, hoping you hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
from binbin <3:
princess we’re so so sorry, we got caught up in work, we’re packing and heading to you now. we love you so so much baby. 🩷🩷
he puts his nail in his mouth, gnawing on it anxiously as his leg shakes. after saving all the files and shutting everything down, chan turns back to find a very anxious changbin staring at his phone.
he makes his way next to him, placing his hand on the shaking leg. “hey, what’s going on?” he asks gently. changbin looks up, unshed tears line his soft eyes. “she texted us 11 times.” his breathes, shaking his head, showing him the phone screen.
“and we ignored every single one of them. what if she was hurt? what if something happened? we would’ve never known” he rambles, sending himself further into a spiral.
“hey, hey,” he gently grabs the younger’s cheek, “she’s safe, she’s home in bed asleep,” his thumb slowly stroking his cheek, soothing the anxious man. “we’re going to her now, everything will be okay, okay?” bin nods his head, closing his eyes, letting a stray tear or two run down his cheek.
chan wipes the tears before placing a soft, loving kiss to his temple. “okay, let’s go see our girl.” chan smiles, grabbing his hand pulling him up with him.
once they made it to your apartment (not without breaking a few traffic laws), they let themselves in with the spare key you made them. quickly discarding their shoes, practically running to your room but not without missing the wrapped up snacks in your kitchen or the discarded blanket pile on your couch.
changbin pauses, guilt clutching his heart as he sees your discarded preparations. “come on.” chan quietly ushers, pointing to your room with a quick movement of his head. bin is quick to follow, needing to see you as soon as possible.
chan opens your door, finding a sleeping lump in the middle of your bed and none other than monsters inc playing softly on the screen. that alone told them everything they needed to know but then the thrown hoodie on the floor and two plushies laying next to you instead of clutched to your chest?
they knew they messed up, big time. bin went to rush to you, to wake you up and apologize profusely but chan stops him. “hold on, you might scare her.” bin nods understanding that even though he means well, you were in a very fragile mental state.
the older man carefully sits on the side of your bed, placing a hand to your shoulder. it was only then did he catch a glimpse of the tears stains dried to your chubby cheeks. his breath hitches, causing changbin to look after, catching sight of the same thing, his eyes filling with tears once more.
chan holds out his hand to give him a quick squeeze and a kiss before turning back to the problem at hand. he lays his chin on your shoulder, softly rubbing your arm to coax you awake.
“sweet girl,” he whispers, placing kisses to your shoulder, trying to wake you up as softly as possible. “wake up baby girl.” you slowly come back to consciousness, realizing that there was someone touching you.
you would have been scared if you didn’t recognize the familiar aussie voice. chan sits back as he feels you stir, bin coming to sit beside him, placing a hand to your thigh.. you turn to find your boys looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.
you feel the familiar sting behind your eyes but you quickly rub your eyes, masking your tears. “hi” your voice quiet, sleep lacing your voice. “hi sweetheart.” the aussie coos, “hi bunny.” bin whispers, his fingers tracing patterns on your thighs soothing him you.
“we’re sorry baby, we completely lost track of time, and we put our phones away so we didn’t see you texted, we’re just- really sorry bubba.” you nod, willing your tears away before you spoke.
“it’s okay, i understand.” you say lowly, fidgeting with the soft material to keep your composure. but try as you might the two boys knew you all too well.
“no it’s not,” bin finally speaks, causing you to catch a glimpse of him. two streaks shine on his soft cheeks against the glow of the tv, caught your eye. you sit up, moving chan, attempting to reach changbin.
“it’s not okay, we knew we had plans with you today, and not only did we miss it, we ignored you-” you cut him off with a kiss, your hand coming to wipe the wet streaks away. you pull away, your own tears making their way down your chubby cheeks.
“i am upset, but i’m not mad. i just had a bad day and this was the one thing i was looking forward to and it was just the final straw.” pause, sniffling as chan grabs the hand still in your lap.
“i was inconsolable and your hoodie and the stuffies just felt like a reminder of my bad day.” you look down, your hand falling from the soft man’s cheek to your lap, where he grabs your hand. you hear a sniffle, cause your head to shoot up where you find them both with wet streaks on their cheeks.
your lip wobbles as you see your boys upset, you shake your head frantically. before you can even open your mouth, chan shakes his head before moving behind you, pulling you to his chest. binnie moves to sit in chan’s previous position, placing a soothing hand on your thigh.
“do not apologize, you did nothing wrong, us being upset or missing movie night is not your fault, nor is it your problem to fix.” he whispers in your ear, rubbing your soft tummy. your lip wobbles again, dropping your head into your hands as you sob.
bin moves to wrap his arms around you, bringing you to him as best he could with you against chan. they knew you were upset and the best thing for you was to let you cry it out as heart wrenching as your sobs are.
they just hold you as you calm down, binnie rubbing your back, placing kisses to your temple. chan rubbing your tummy, placing kisses to your shoulder.
you pull away once you feel calm enough, wiping your tears as you sniffle. “thank you, both of you, i love you both more than you know.” you give bin a kiss first before turning around as best you could, doing the same to chan.
“come on, let’s get you to sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning, sweet girl, okay?” he pats your tummy, waiting for you to nod your head before moving the blankets to give you space in the middle of the bed. you carefully move over, shivering as you land on the cold side of the mattress.
both boys get up, chan rounding the bed to get to the other side while binnie goes to grab his discarded hoodie. he makes it back to your side as chan sits on the edge of the bed.
“sit it up for me quick bunny. “ he says, kneeling on the bed, scrunching the fabric. you sit up, lifting your arms so he can slip the familiar fabric over your head. once you slide your hands through the sleeves, the hood covering a part of your face.
you give him a cheesy smile before shooting out to wrap your arms around him. he wraps his arms around your shoulders, placing a big kiss to your hood covered head. “mwah!” he plops down next to me, getting comfy under the blankets.
you adjust the hoodie a bit before leaning against the plush pillows. chan lifts up the two stuffies, placing them to your chest, wrapping your arm around them. you smile once again, rolling over to place a big kiss on his cheek.
once you settle back into the bed, they both wrap their arms around you, making you feel safe and secure. “good night bubba, we love you,” chan whispers in your ear before placing a loving kiss to your soft cheek. “so so much bunny.” binnie finishes, placing a kiss to your other cheek.
you melt right into their arms. you get comfortable, turning on your side to face binnie, laying your head on his chest, grabbing chan’s arm to stay around you. “i love you both too, more than you know.” you mumble, placing a kiss to bin’s pec and chan’s hand.
you all melt into each other, relaxing slowly as sleep welcomes you, the soft sounds of monsters inc playing as you all lay peacefully in each other’s arms.
#seo changbin#bang chan#changbin#changbin oneshot#changbin fic#changbin x reader#changbin drabble#changbin imagine#changbin fluff#seo changbin imagine#bang chan fic#bang chan oneshot#bang chan drabble#bang chan fluff#bang chan x reader#bang chan imagine#stray kids#stray kids drabble#stray kids oneshot#stray kids one shot#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagine#ash's archive ‧₊˚✩彡
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big reputation || 2
caitlin clark x actress! reader masterlist - prev - next warnings: none
caitlin_clark22
Liked by kate_martin03, yn_ln, and 820,508 others
caitlin_clark22 by the grace of whatever’s up there 🙏🙏🙏 Tagged: kate_martin03
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kate_martin03 caption’s tuff →caitlin_clark22 enough.
user1 WAIT IS IT A NOD TO Y/N’S TWEET →user2 its def not they don’t even know each other →user3 NO Y/N LIKED THE POST
—
Y/n smiled as she read through Caitlin’s comments. After the eye-opening conversation she had with Kate last night, Y/n had become more open to the idea.
She also thought the caption was cute.
Y/n groaned as her stomach grumbled. She placed her phone on her bed, stood up, cracked her spine, and walked into her kitchen.
Y/n decided to make something easy, then sit on her couch and binge-watch crappy reality tv. This was her first week off in months and she would spend it rotting in her living room like every normal 21-year-old.
Y/n couldn’t tell you the number of below-deck episodes she had binge-watched, but by the time she finished, the sun was down and the crickets were chirping. She begrudgingly stalked back to her bedroom, changing into her pajamas and throwing herself down on her bed.
She picked up her phone, only to drop it a second later in shock.
[yn_ln] Caitlin Clark 4h ago sent you a message
—
Caitlin, on the other hand, was freaking out. She had never even spoken to Y/n before, but Kate had convinced her to DM her.
Caitlin probably typed and retyped her DM 50 times before settling on a ‘hey !’
Caitlin groaned and shoved her phone down after finally hitting send. She couldn’t help but picking up her phone every ten seconds to see if Y/n had opened or responded to her DM.
After 10 minutes, Caitlin had eventually given up hope of a response and sighed, turning off her phone and putting her head in her hands.
Caitlin buisied herself by ordering doordash and sitting on her couch, rewatching film her coaches gave her to look over. She lost track of time and found herself mindlessly picking at her fingers, only coming to when she realized it was past midnight. ]
She groaned as she stood up from the couch, attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes. Caitlin walked into her bedroom as she sat on her bed. She picked up her phone and almost threw it when she saw her most recent notification.
[caitlin_clark22] Yn Ln 20m ago sent you a message
—
Caitlin hey !
Y/n hey yourself sorry for leaving you on delivered i was binge-watching below deck
Caitlin which one?
Y/n mediterranean, duh
Caitlin good. That's the best one Yn liked this message
Y/n so, i’m assuming kate told you to dm me?
Caitlin well, to be honest, i had kinda been wanting to ever since i met you on facetime with kate.
Y/n brother that was 6 months ago 💀
Caitlin LEAVE ME ALONE, OK i'm just a girl
Y/n SO REAL whenever people tell me im doing something wrong i get so annoyed like im just a girl that curb shouldn’t have been there 😠
Caitlin LMFAOO Anyways, yeah, kate finally bullied me into texting my celebrity crush who she just happens to be best friends with
Y/n 🤨🤨 is that all i am to you?? a pretty face?
Caitlin NO NO I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT I SWEAR
Y/n LMFAOO im just fucking with you anyways, going back to that… celebrity crush, you say? 🤨😏
Caitlin 😶 moving on…
Y/n no, no i wanna know
Caitlin umm… basically i’ve just been really obsessed with your show lately and kate told me i should shoot my shot but im now realizing maybe i should save that for the court
Y/n LMFAOO nah, kate was right she showed you my tweet, right?
Caitlin yeah, why?
Y/n because i wasn’t kidding.
#stars444hearts#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark#iowa wbb#wnba draft#wnba#wlw#lesbian#wcbb#wcbb x reader#big reputation 444
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Try that shit again and I'll kill you
WARNING: FIGHTING, SWEARING
A/N:PLEASE THIS IT AN AMAZING IDEA!! (like every other idea that was requested!!) AND SOO SO SO SORRY IVE BEEN PUTTING TJE WRIHING OFF THE THE SIDE BECAUSE HAVE HAD A LOT OF HW TO DO!!
Scenario:you and barren used to date, at first it was nice. he showed you off, showered you with love, but then.. one day it was like something snapped in him- he was irritable- yelled at you - manipulative and would sometimes hit you. Then one day you met Aiden, then he introduced you to the rest of the group! that was when you broke things off with barren, ofc he was yelling at you, hitting you- But the group was there to back you up, especially Aiden. a couple months later he kinda awkwardly confessed his love to you
You and the group were hanging out, a little while ago you had gotten with Aiden when he confessed, you said you wanted to keep it private and withing the group, he understands why and honestly he prefers it that way too.. until someone heard the 2 of you, him half jokingly calling u cheesy nicknames and went around telling everyone. It was only a matter of time before it- shit. He already did.
It's been a week of him and his group, following you around judging you on every little thing that you do, the way you walk, laugh, the way you BREATH. It was so stupid,.then they finally cornered you, beating you up, you were shaking and covered in bruises, and a couple cuts, then you hear some rusting
"WHAT THE FUCK?! GET THE HELL OFF ME"
Barren cursed while you glanced up you say the 2 other boys of barrens group trying to get Aiden off barren, Aiden was on top barren, Aiden still had his smile on his face but he look more.. scary?
"Try that shit again and I fucking kill you."
Aiden said with a smile as he chuckled you rushed up to him and pulled him off barren
"Aiden- what- where- HUH?!"
You stutterd out, you didn't even know where to start or how to say anything, Aiden looked at you bruises and scares, some bruises were a bit purple, He tried calm himself down and he grabbed you hand dragging you away to the nurses office, he wanted to stay with you in the office but was told to go to class and he tried convincing them to him stay,, after all the nurses was just disinfecting the cuts and putting bandaids on you cuts. He ending up actually giving up and going to clear, meeting up with the rest of the group. He obviously told them what happened to you, of course everyone was pretty pissed, especially cuz you didn't say anything to them! They could have help.
Soon you back arrive class, and sit down in your seat and just getting straight to work, planning on asking ash or Taylor for the rest of the notes during lunch, 2 periods later lunch comes and you sit with the other, smiling
"Hey! Ash do u have the rest of the notes for social studies?"
And say as you sit next to Aiden, everyone looked up as soon as they heard you voice
"Y/n! Hey- why didn't you tell up what barren was doing."
Taylor said, with a nervous smile, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and looked around then look at your binder that was covered with doodles not know now to explain it.
"..i..just- didn't wanna worry anyone..or cause more trouble"
you mumbled and you looked back up everyone was looking at you then began to tell u about how their going to be with you and help you thru anything while Aiden has his hand on you back rubbing comforting circles on you back with his thumb,
I MIGHT make a 2nd part to think but I'm not 100% sure on that part:)
#sbg#school bus graveyard#sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark#x reader#aiden clark x reader#silly#Please tell me this was good#I love sbg
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Danganronpa: Despair Time Chapter 2 Episode 13 Dissection
Jesus CHRIST, the hits keep on coming (/pos). I don't think anyone could have predicted everything that came to light in this episode. But, hey, at least we're finally cooking on the murder method a bit more...?
SPOILERS for Danganronpa: Despair Time though Chapter 2 Episode 13! Also, CW: discussions of suicide.
Similarly to last time, I tried not to look at too many other people's major reactions/theories as to not influence my opinions as they were when I watched the episode. (Although I think I failed to do that more than last week...) Here's what this episode got me thinking about!
Genocide Jack, Junko, Mukuro, Peko, and Korekiyo:
On that note, though, this is... debatably relevant lore about Hope's Peak as it exists in DRDT? We know from Chapter 2 Episode 2 that Veronika (and likely all of the non-Terukos as well) don't remember Trigger Happy Havoc, and, based on this, it's likely that they don't remember much of the history of the old HPA either. Ace being so adamant that HPA wouldn't scout a murderer implies that the new HPA has fully regained its spotless reputation, potentially even more than the Tokyo school ever had.
I want you all to know that I tried to write out a little theory about whether or not Levi could have killed any plot-relevant characters here, but I came to a dead end at every venture. Levi killed Mai? No, he has no motive, and the murder happened before everyone attended Hope's Peak. Levi killed Elliot? No, Ellie was probably killed by dogs, and the timing is all wrong. Levi killed someone at the North C and Chariton incident? That didn't even happen. I was just getting that confused with my theories about what Xander might have done at that incident in FF's DRDT Milgram AU. Not even what actually happened in the AU. Just my theories on what might happen.
The only option I couldn't fully rule out was the idea that Levi killed some of the ~5 missing members of the altDRDT cast, but, holy shit, can you imagine how funny that would be? Teacher and the gang get to the sixth Class Trial and ask all dramatically, "so, what happened to the rest of our class that didn't make it to the killing game...?" and Monowhatever is just like "actually, Levi Fontana just straight up merced those dudes years ago." Hilarious.
Anyways. That goes to show that I do think these were just random guys, and the only specific relevance they would have is in the realm of Levi's backstory specifically.
RIP to the "Levi used to be an assassin" theory. I actually kinda liked that one myself.
(Also, hijacking this image to point out the background music here. You hear the ticking clock motif? Very suspicious indeed...)
Yup, even more confirmation that HPA highly valued having an incredibly pure and righteous image. Of course this HPA was also corrupt. Is it even possible to make an HPA without some level of corruption?
(Levi. My guy. I need you to use a different sprite; the quadruple image combo is starting to look ridiculous.)
What I find really interesting here is that, even in the realm of forgetting about murders, Levi remembers the three random guys before his father. Like, I know that Levi says that he kinda equally doesn't care about everyone (and I believe him to be telling the truth on that), but you would think that, just by virtue of having spent more time with his dad or the people around him's reactions, Levi would have remembered killing his father before offing three random thugs.
I don't know if this is meant to A) really drive the point home that Levi sees no difference between those he "knows" and those he doesn't; B) imply that Levi might have sustained some greater amount of trauma from killing his father that caused him to block that memory out more; C) suggest that killing the guys was more recent than killing his dad, which might lead him to remember it with more clarity; or D) some combination of the former three. However, I think it's an interesting detail to note.
The foils are foiling........
This was hilarious. And lowkey evidence that Nico was the one who tried to kill Ace.
You know, I actually almost made a theory once that the clauses "you're a murderer" and "you have no remorse" could be read as two separate secret statements! Not to say that Levi didn't have no remorse for the killing part, but that having no remorse was a state of being not solely tied to the murdering.
Alsoooo... just gonna say, Levi on Drawing Pins is looking better and better all the time...
Eden: But you're a good person. Why are you saying these things when it's clearly not true? You're so kind to everyone. You're always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Ace almost died. You kept trying to help him, even if he always pushed you away. Isn't that what "a good person" does?
WE ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN!!! "GOOD PERSON" SPECIFICALLY IN THE LEVI/EDEN CONTEXT AAAAAAAAA
Beyond the further "good person" jumpscare, I found this line interesting due to how Eden describes Ace. Someone who "always pushed [Levi] away." Sounds a lot like Arei, huh? In fact, a lot of it sounds like Eden is applying it to herself.
"But I'm a good person. Why am I thinking these things when it's clearly not true? I'm so kind to everyone. I'm always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Arei yelled at me. I kept trying to help her, even if she always pushed me away. Isn't that what "a good person" does?"
Obviously, I'm reading into this in the "Eden is the blackened" context, but I think that it's still an interesting read of Eden's mental state even if she isn't the blackened. We know that, to some extent, Eden blames herself for both Min and Arei's deaths. Therefore, despite likely feeling like she's fucked up, she wants to cling onto the idea that she's a good person so she doesn't lose faith in herself.
That leads into some super interesting parallels when it comes to this speech versus what Arei said, but I'll talk about that more once we get to the Arei monologue.
This week, acevi shippers take the L. Really, Levi x anyone shippers, but I think acevi shippers got the worst of it.
Except, they also took the W. "Ace lowkey confirms he once had feelings for Levi" was NOT on my bingo card. Or Star's.
(Also I LOVE this new sprite)
I saw some people talking about Ace's friend (Taylor?) but I do not remember and cannot find any information about this character (so I can't even tell if they're just fanmade :( ). If anyone knows what I'm talking about and has a link, please send it to me. Anyways, "insult to his memory" definitely makes it sound like Ace's friend is dead. I wonder if the way in which he died has anything to do with Ace's fear of horses/cowardice in general.
I want to see more Levi and Veronika interactions so bad. It's no surprise that Veronika was the first to pick up what Levi was putting down. Both of them don't have the "normal" way of processing their feelings and interacting with others, but while Levi has decided to try to be what society deems as "good" anyways, Veronika has decided to fully live by her own creed. I wonder if Levi could be at all convinced by Veronika to go back to his old ways.
Veronika: You're always guessing as to what a normal human would do in your situation. You're so awkward in social settings because you can't tell what other people want.
I'm excited to see Levi and Nico interact too, obviously. I suppose Nico is kinda like the midpoint of Veronika and Levi-- doesn't understand people and wants the world to work the way they perceive it, but also has been bullied enough to feel forced to play along with how others want them to be. Characters like these have become some of my favorite archetypes to discuss. I'm so glad that DRDT has so many of them!!!
The foils are foiling AGAIN...
Why the fuck are you so pressed about the secrets now??? I thought you were all about privacy?????
Well, thank you for "confirming" that swap, ladies! This talk of a pact is very interesting, though. I guess Hu must have gone to Veronika pretty early to ensure that her secret wouldn't get out-- makes sense, as without that there's a good chance Hu could believe that Veronika would reveal her secret at the most unflattering time to create drama.
It does slightly recontextualize Veronika's "A little mystery makes this Trial more exciting, don't you think?", though. I wonder if that was just straight up a lie, or if that was the rationale Hu used to appeal to Veronika. I doubt we'll get a flashback of this scene now that this moment's passed, but I'd love to see it. FTEs...? 👀
David you have to stop this right now or you're going to become my new favorite character. Dude's been dying to don the mantle of the comic relief character, apparently.
Is The Motive Scoreboard Accurate?
I'm including this because I've seen some other people say that it is, specifically on Teruko's front. I strongly believe that this motive board is incorrect, and Teruko and Xander's secrets are swapped.
The blaming yourself secret mentions parentS and siblingS. Back in Chapter 1 Episode 4, Teruko says that she never knew her parents (and therefore may even just be assuming that she has two), and she only had one biological brother. Furthermore, she has no idea if they're dead or not. On the parents front, she could assume that being sent to an orphanage is confirmation enough that her parents are dead instead of just not wanting her. Being sent there with her older biological brother is a further implication of that.
However, Teruko specifically says that her brother "left with some other family." She makes no mention of believing he's dead at all. Therefore, for Teruko to have the secret she claims to have, Teruko would have to be constantly mourning parents and an additional sibling that she never knew, and to believe that all of them are dead despite having no reason to believe that her known brother died.
Obviously, all of these things were said aloud to Charles and Whit, so there is a possibility that Teruko lied about or concealed parts of her past to keep her walls up around those two. However, what does this face from David mean if not "I've caught you in my trap?"
(DRDT sprites are SO GOOD--)
To me, this sprite clearly indicates that David knows that Teruko is lying about something, but has chosen not to bring it up to save it for later purposes. I don't know if he has something specific in mind or just wants to hold the potential blackmail over her head, but I strongly suspect that we'll come back to this someday-- either in later daily life or a post-Trial scene in this chapter.
It's also interesting to note that, while David knows that this is Teruko's for sure, Charles and Whit also have the opportunity to recognize the discrepancy. I definitely wouldn't be surprised if Charles kept notes about what he knows about everyone somewhere. We'll have to see if either of them ask her about it down the road as well.
Eden: I know that she's dead!! I know that she's dead and that she's never coming back. I know that I'll never be able to talk to her ever again. But even then... I have to know that when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends. If you really say that you lied about making Arei kill herself, then tell me the truth. Tell me that you didn't make her lose hope. Please! Tell me what happened last night between you and Arei!
Oh boy.
Can Eden Still Be the Culprit?
Look. I understand if you look at this and believe that Eden couldn't possibly be the culprit-- or at least, not without being a completely different character than we know her to be. Because I almost did. Zel's performance did a really good job of selling Eden's heartbreak in a way that makes it feel like she couldn't have possibly been the one to end Arei's life. However, upon further review, I do think that Eden's words could be that of the killer, with minimal levels of intentional manipulation thrown in.
If it would cause you emotional distress to listen to me continue to accuse Eden, I'll write the rest of this section in purple so that you can skip it if you'd like. I don't want to make anyone sad, so I fully understand if you want to avoid these bad vibes. However, for those of you who are still on the fence, and those who have stuck with Eden!culprit all along, here's my justification. I think it'll be easiest to break it down block by block.
Eden: I know that she's dead!!
Okay, well, maybe skipping this section a bit. More points for Arei truly being the one who's dead, I guess?
Eden: I know that she's dead and that she's never coming back. I know that I'll never be able to talk to her ever again.
Alright, so, this can fairly easily be read as the same thing as what Eden was doing back when she was talking to Levi: reassuring herself.
Well, maybe "reassuring" is the wrong word. Basically, she's repeating the same mantra that she told herself when she was trying to justify her decision to kill Arei. When making the decision to kill anyone, the killer (if they care) has to process that they will have to kill every other person in the game if they want to escape for themselves. Therefore, if Eden is the killer, she already had to grapple with the fact that she can't turn back time. ("You can't go back, no matter how hard you try.")
I think that Eden might have it in her head that, even if it wouldn't fully erase her wrongdoings, as long as she doesn't just forgive and forget the whole affair, it makes things slightly better. That's why she was yelling things like "You forgot about all the things you did just because you didn't face any consequences for them? That's incredibly selfish!" at Levi.
Feeling bad about things is her punishment to make sure that Arei is never fully forgotten. She knows that, if she goes through with killing, she'll never be able to talk with any of these people again. However, if there's something more important to her than these 13 lives that she has to escape the killing game to reach, it's a consequence she'll have to accept. She knows it's selfish-- but she at least won't be so selfish as to also forget everyone else's sacrifice.
Eden: But even then... I have to know that when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends.
This is probably the part that feels the most damning. Why would Eden care about whether or not Arei was trying to become a good person if Eden is the one who killed her? Wouldn't it be better for Eden if she wasn't?
Well, that's what Eden is trying to figure out, too. In Venus' Narrative Defense of Eden Culprit Theory, Venus says that Eden didn't believe that Arei actually changed and wanted to be her friend. And, it really makes complete sense if she didn't-- Eden had no idea that David and Teruko continued to talk so seriously with Arei after her departure, and Arei saving Eden from Arturo literally happened the same day that Arei had her breakdown. It had probably been, like, 4 hours since Arei chewed her out for her worldview being stupid, and then Arei's suddenly turning around and declaring that she wants to protect Eden at all costs. Of course Eden might just believe that Arei was setting her up for a fall! (Murder pun not intended.)
Venus also adds that, at this point in the Trial, David knew something that Eden didn't: namely, that Arei actually wanted to change, and saw Eden as her inspiration for doing so. Under the assumption that that revelation has been bothering Eden the whole time, it makes perfect sense that Eden would want to know more about what David knew about Arei. She needs to know exactly how terrible she needs to feel for doing this terrible thing.
I think the quote becomes a lot less defendable if you just swap out the "that" for an "if."
"But even then... I have to know if when she was alive, she was still trying to become a good person. That if she lived, then maybe there'd be a world in which we would both be friends."
Now, obviously, you could say that this is an unfair point-- Eden didn't say "if," she said, "that"! How can you excuse Eden based off of evidence that isn't actually real?
My point is that, even if DRDTdev didn't have Eden phrase it that way, it would be an incredibly easy swap to make. Thus, the only way in which Eden would have to be lying is to swap out one word. With that one word, "if," we see how she's still doubting whether Arei really was trying to be a good person, and can read into why she's bringing that up at this time. To disguise it, all Eden has to do is trade "if" for "that"-- she doesn't have to be some masterful lying manipulator to pull off a quick exchange that makes her look more innocent.
Eden: If you really say that you lied about making Arei kill herself, then tell me the truth. Tell me that you didn't make her lose hope.
Eden needs the truth so that she can know how despicable she actually is (in her opinion). She needs to know how bad she needs to feel for taking Arei's life, so that she won't wind up as "inhuman" as Levi.
I also think that "tell me that you didn't make Arei lose hope" could be interpreted in a killer-ish way. There is a rhetorical device in English that sorta turns words like that on their head. Like, if I said, "don't tell me you spoiled DRDT for all of your followers!," it's often interpreted as "I know that you did spoil DRDT for all of your followers, but I don't want to hear it." In this case, Eden might not want David to tell her that he made Arei lose hope because she doesn't want to believe that Arei had any hope in the first place. It's better than if Eden was the one to directly crush those hopes, sure, but if Arei approached David talking about wanting to be a better person mere hours before her death, that still means that Eden was killing a hopeful Arei. She doesn't want David to confirm her worst fears.
I don't know if I phrased that section exactly how I imagined it in my mind, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.
Eden: Please! Tell me what happened last night between you and Arei!
In the end, though, Eden knows that she has to face the music to figure out how she wants to proceed with this trial, whether that's sinking the cost of her fallacy or owning up to her crime. And that's how I think you can justify this outburst of Eden's within the context of her being the blackened, without having to fully corrupt her character.
What Arei Meant
This part isn't a theory, exactly; it's more of an analysis of the point I think Arei was trying to convey in this section. I've seen some people be sad about the new note that Arei's character is "going out" on, but I actually think that this is a pretty realistic, thematic ending for where Arei's story and the themes of the chapter are headed. Time to praise DRDTdev's writing for a bit!
Arei: I'm a manipulative, two-faced bitch. I pretend to be cute so that I can treat others like trash. I only care about myself, and I always hurt others for selfish and stupid reasons. Of course I wanted to change myself. [...] Still, for the longest time, I thought it was stupid to even try. I'm rotten to the core, and I might as well be a different species from saints like you and Eden. [...] No matter what, I'll never be a good person. And yet, despite all that... David, you... It turns out that you might be a total piece of shit after all. If even a perfect inspirational speaker like you turns out to be an asshole, then there's no such thing as "a good person." [...] And that makes me relieved, because it means I'm not too far gone. It's okay that I'll never be a good person, because no one else can be either.
I don't think that Arei is saying that the world is a lost cause.
Instead, she's saying that no one is a lost cause. She's applying that Syndrome logic: "if everyone is a bad person, no one will be." Arei thought that, because of her upbringing, there was no possibility that she could ever Be Good, because she'd already done too much wrong. Good People are perfect, unerring gods who do nothing but help others and reach out to wayward souls. However, David's manipulations proved that that wasn't true.
Good People fuck up. Good People do good things for bad reasons, and bad things for good reasons, and, hell, if David is a Good Person, then Good People do bad things for bad reasons sometimes, too! Arei confessed to us that she felt like her life was over because she was given an unfair start. However, now she knows that the bar has been lowered, and that being a good person can be done by anyone, anywhere, at any time. Perfection doesn't exist. Now that she knows that there was never any need to be perfect, the chance she sought for so long has finally been granted.
(Dipping back into purple for a sec to talk about Eden culprit stuff)
After this, I feel like the theme of this chapter has to be about deconstructing the myth of "The Good Person." You think that Nico is just a soft and shy bullying victim? No, they're just as willing to kill as anyone else. You think that Hu is a gracious motherly figure? No, she has an angry streak and talks over other people. You think that Levi is a softhearted giant who just struggles with what to say sometimes? His kill count is higher than everyone who's died to the killing game so far, and he doesn't really care that that's the case. You think that Whit is just a silly guy who cares about others? Fuck, even he's willing to stall out the trial in an attempt to fulfill his own agenda.
The main person who hasn't yet been proven so be not as good as they seem so far is Eden, who in this episode has been clinging to the idea of being a good person harder than ever. I know that some people believe that Eden needs to survive to fulfill the role of the optimist, but I feel like this episode proves that that isn't true. We don't need A Hopeful Person because anyone can step up to the plate and believe in hope if they want to do so. Eden isn't A Good Person, but a real person, who's just as capable of laughing and crying and living and dying as anyone else.
A good person is not gold. That's why everyone who tried to cling to the idea that they were being A Good Person-- Xander, David, Levi-- has always wound up hurting others in the end. Xander believed his actions were morally justified, and thus decided to kill Teruko, causing Min's death and lots of anguish for Teruko. David wanted to follow in his footsteps, and beyond his inspirational speaker persona causing damage to himself, he was also about to kill everyone else to do "what's right." Levi (Arei pending) hasn't killed anyone since trying to become A Good Person, but pretending to follow those guidelines without actually wanting to change anything about himself emotionally hurt Ace, who was set up with false expectations.
If Eden is so convinced that she's a good person, she's only blinding herself to the ways that she's inevitably not.
Back to Arei, while it is sad that her development was cut off just as she made this revelation, I believe that clarifying this additional bit of content is a way to allow her to rest in peace. Even if she didn't get to transform as much as she wanted to, she at least got to die knowing that she wasn't as wretched as she convinced herself that she was all these years, and having done at least one good thing-- saving Eden from Arturo-- before she passed. It's an amazing character arc to squeeze in for your second victim.
Phew, finally, a chance to talk about objective lore instead of heavy and divisive character themes! Except, uh...
WHAT THE FUCK???
Remember when, at the beginning, I said that no one could have predicted everything that came to light in this episode? This was the main point I was talking about. I don't think anyone saw this reveal coming, especially in this moment.
For starters, even though this CG does appear in David's memories, I don't think that he or Arei actually remembers whatever this was taking place. Beyond me attempting to debunk the idea that David had additional memories of Hope's Peak last week, Arei or David specifically referring to this moment means that they had to... be there? When whatever this was happened?
I say "whatever this was" to briefly create suspense before connecting the dots everyone's already talked about: that Eden was probably the one to scratch out Xander's eye. This would make Eden the "she" that Xander (er, I mean, "the guy with the bloody hands") talks about in the intro scene.
It also gives some more context to the clock with the fork stabbed into it depicted in LGI.
I don't know if "non-functional" and "I didn't expect her to" mean that Eden could have been brainwashed or otherwise broken down into not acting like herself when this happened, but it certainly seems out of character for what we know of Eden. Even her facial expression seems to suggest that she might not have wanted or intended to attack anyone with that fork.
Anyways, for Arei or David to know about the contents of that CG, they would've had to both be there when Eden attacked Xander and then also have regained/had their memories of it, which seems unlikely given how both of them treat Eden. Like, even if Arei is sure that Eden "did something to hurt someone in the past," this seems a bit extreme, and David probably wouldn't be so neutral on her if he knew that she attacked his man.
Another really clever point that I saw someone make (AND THEN COULDN'T TRACK DOWN WHO OR IN WHICH POST IT WAS--) was that Eden is wearing her current outfit in this CG. Interestingly, I looked back at A History of Hope's Peak and Visiting Graves to see what Min and Xander were wearing, and while Min was wearing her typical killing game uniform, Xander was wearing something different. Given that Min's scene takes place in HPA and Xander's doesn't, this could imply that Min was wearing the HPA uniform? That's fitting, for her.
We also know that the DRDT cast were all wearing these outfits believing that they were headed for the HPA entrance ceremony. Therefore, we know that Eden would wear this getup to school, but we don't know if she'd wear it elsewhere. Once again, assuming it was Xander who got forked, we can place this CG some time between Visiting Graves and the start of the killing game. I have a hunch that Visiting Graves might have taken place during HPA's spring break-- in A History, Min and Mai (er, I mean, "Unnamed Student") are at school studying for a test with "Spring Break next week" on the chalkboard, while in Visiting Graves, Mai and Xander have traveled elsewhere-- but that's not confirmed, so we can't lock it down.
Maybe we can get more information about this in Eden's bonus episode! Because, well, I at least do think that most of the mysteries of this CG could be solved within a bonus episode and/or other characters talking about her posthumously in later chapters. Again, I understand if you want to use this CG as evidence that Eden is important enough to need to stick around, though.
AREI I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUU
Also, I didn't catch this at all, but credit to everyone who noticed how similar this scene is to the "Diana Chiem" scene in LGI! Fascinating implications that I have no additional thoughts on at the moment. Mostly because we don't know shit about Diana, if that even is her who's portrayed in that CG. I'm sure I'll come back to this someday, just not right now.
Oh, and I don't think you can really argue that Ace made up this conversation anymore. Idk how much of it he stuck around to listen to, though.
See like why is she so pressed about it???
I'd like to say that this is a win for Whit not being the mastermind (because he doesn't seem to know what MonoTV is talking about), but he could probably just be going "why are you saying that at this time?" or something like that. Sigh (/j)
Why Does Whit Know So Much About Hanging?
Alright, so, obviously, this could be a super-suspect hint that Whit knows all of this stuff about hanging and therefore decided to use that knowledge to kill Arei. But, I don't care about that! What I don't understand is how Whit came to know all of this in the first place!
Well, after a quick review, there's one option that stands out more than all the others: Whit's mom was killed by hanging, likely self-inflicted. The only thing we "know" about Whit's mom dying (assuming that secret really is his) is that she is dead, and Whit omits it. It's phrased pretty vaguely. We also know that Whit thinks his mom is awesome, but that doesn't tell us anything about how she saw herself. Sadly, I think this lines up all too well.
Whit's main character flaw, as we've seen throughout the story so far, is ignoring things that stress him out or make him sad. He represses, and chooses not to get involved in others' fights because it's "not his business." It would make sense if the same extended to what he was like before the killing game. If Whit always chooses to ignore things that worry him, there's a possibility he blames himself for his mom's death via not paying enough attention to any warning signs that her mental state might have gotten so dire. Of course, if repression runs in the family, she might have been doing her best to not make it obvious as well.
So, even though he hates himself for not giving his mom enough support in her darkest hour, he still can't (yet) make any changes in his life because ignorance is the only way he knows how to cope. Yet, he still won't let himself pass up on helping another soul in clear need of support, like Charles panicking over the blood, or Eden suffering over seeing Arei's body. He can push himself to help others that are sad, as long as he never focuses on himself.
Or, he's the time loop mastermind who's heard Class Trials discuss hanging a billion times before. You never know with this guy.
CONGRATS TO FF AND BADJOE FOR BEING THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Man, even seeing Teruko explain this mechanism as the truth, I still don't know if I would've been able to come up with it myself. This fandom is so smart :D
(Also, why was Whit a dog? Goddammit, is this more MonoTV coding?! /lh)
FUCK YES, WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO GET ANSWERS ABOUT THE GYM MURDER IN THIS TRIAL? HALLELUJAH! IT'S ABOUT TO BE T A P E T I M E, MOTHERFUCKERS! (/j)
Phew, barely squeaked it within 30 images! I'm impressed and amazed that DRDTdev keeps managing to make such gripping episodes week after week.
Get it? Gripping? Like grippy tape?
I'd apologize, but you're almost certainly going to hear more of that from me next week. Until then!
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt spoilers#drdt chapter 2 part 2 spoilers#fanganronpa#cw suicide mention#levi fontana#ace markey#eden tobisa#whit young#teruko tawaki#arei nageishi#btw i hope i didn't come off as at all rude or condescending to people who don't believe in eden culprit#especially bc i was the one who was saying that no one should use the trial results to be mean to each other#my goal was only to celebrate some of my friends for having their theories turn out to be true#but i do truly feel for anyone whose expectations aren't lining up with reality. i'm sure that must be hard after the long wait#(and also to be clear i'm not discounting that i'll be proven wrong not long from now i just don't think it's happened yet)#(or maybe i'm just still delusional)#my theories
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our spot, 2 * ls2
it’s about two weeks since you last saw logan and you find him sitting all alone in the dark
pairings: logan sargeant x fem!reader
warnings: logan is the warning idk
notes: i know it took me forever to write this subpar ass second part but like- i kinda like it because i'm bad with resolutions and making up (i'm single)
also i'd like to have a word with whoever made this gif because it's like so disrespectful like he is so fine why would u do this?
(f1 masterlist)
(prev)
“you’re growing up too fast,” your mother had said to you earlier after you finished packing the last of your boxes. the boxes that would be sent off to new york in a couple of days before you head out right before new year’s.
thankfully, your family agreed on flying over with you to spend the holiday with you. you had spent weeks and months rethinking the choice of your relocation; if you could handle being away from your family.
your father insisted you explore the world without them by your side and you took up the offer. you'd broken up with the guy you were seeing a couple of days ago.
while you had your doubts about where your relationship was going, there was no denying the amount of time you'd spent together. it still stung you quite a little bit to up and leave him. he had asked you if there was any way to make it work, but you couldn't get yourself to say anything.
so, he pulled you in for a hug and wished you well. and then you left, tearing up very slightly on the drive home alone.
it would be nice to start fresh in a new place. your last conversation convincing you to pick up the pieces of yourself and start moving on for real.
though, it seems it would take forever to do that. you hadn’t only lost a romantic connection when you lost logan, but also your best friend.
the first person you called when you crashed your car on the highway when you were 17, the person who stood up to the girl who made fun of you when you were 9, and the only one who knew you better than you knew yourself.
so here you are at 3 in the morning walking the quiet streets of your small town with your hands in the pockets of your sweater. you try to stifle the sniffle that escapes you, having spent the past couple of hours in tears at the thought of leaving behind everything you’ve ever known.
packing up and spending months in new york, then indefinitely in germany made you a nervous wreck. though the company you’re working for has arranged everything for you from the airport pickup to the apartment estate you’ll be spending your days in.
when you left your house, you glanced across the street to disappointment. logan’s truck isn’t parked on the street and his room had its blinds drawn — the way it’s been since you last saw him.
when you first got the promotion, you almost picked up your phone to text logan. but the heavy weight of guilt made you hit erase and put your phone down after a second.
even when you had graduated about 6 months after cutting contact, you wanted so bad to send him a photo of you and your degree together. but, there was something so embarrassing about reaching out and starting a conversation like nothing had happened.
you posted it on your instagram stories, reposting every single tagged picture for days after to hopefully prompt a message of congratulations from logan. but he didn’t bite.
it made you wonder if you’ve truly made a mistake suddenly cutting him off.
you sigh, making a sharp turn after you pass the school. there’s a dark figure up ahead on the playground that makes you question if it’s a mistake that you’ve come here so late at night.
but it’s a relatively safe gated community. you press your lips together as you approach, your breath hitching in your throat when you’re finally able to make out the man sitting at the end of the slide.
“fancy seeing you here,” logan mumbles, throwing the pieces of rubber from the playground floor into the ground. “it’s late.”
“yeah, i just finished packing,” you answer under your breath, passing him to sit at the edge of another slide. “just needed to do some thinking. didn’t expect you’d be here.”
logan grins to himself with a soft chuckle. “yeah, i’m sorry for intruding.”
you hadn’t been here since you last asked him to come here and see you. in fact, prior to that meetup, you’d only been here a total of 5 times since you last talked.
it reminded you too much of the memories you shared with him growing up.
you lie back in the comfort of the slide. “don’t worry about it. i don’t come here often,” you smile to yourself as you confess. "not anymore."
"i can tell," logan mutters. "i've been here every night since you texted me."
"oh." you take a deep breath, not knowing if you'd like the answer to your question. "what for?"
"thinking real hard," he says just barely above a whisper. he turns to you with a small smile. "i was thinking about you. and germany... and how close it is to me."
your breath hitches. you won't admit to him, but you accepted the offer to move to germany to at least be remotely close to him. or to at least convince him to give your relationship a shot.
you've been apart for years. the only way you got to spend time together back then was if you'd make the effort to visit him in the uk, or if he had the time to fly back home. it was difficult to keep finding ways to make the relationship last.
you had to pretend for a while that you never had to end it. but you knew in your heart two years ago that it cannot keep going on like this. you cried and cried every single time at the airport when he would have to leave you behind in this small town.
you knew his mother mentioned to him about the guy you were seeing. because your mother came to you asking questions about the mysterious guy you never even told her about.
every night after that, you thought about calling logan to explain yourself; that it's not what he thinks it is. but were you really in the position where you had to explain yourself?
"i do love you," he says, picking at the rubber grit once more to avoid your stare. "but the long-distance... barely seeing each other for months on end... it was hard. i couldn't give you what a normal guy would. i couldn't keep making you wait around for nothing."
"but that's not up to you to decide," you say slowly, hoping that he would understand where you came from. "it's unfair. i was willing to go through all of that with you. we've been through so much together."
"i didn't want to risk losing you over something like that," logan sighs, looking up at you in despair. there's a sadness in his eyes that you've never seen before. "it was lonely without you. you're my best friend - losing you over something different entirely was devastating. i didn't have anybody else."
you shake your head, unsure of what to say to him. it was lonely for you when you cut him off. you went from communicating everyday to only catching glimpses of his life on tv, instagram and media news sites.
every single achievement you had, you thought about calling him and hearing his proud voice. but you couldn't fully back yourself on the fact that you broke your own heart because he wanted to keep you around.
"i thought of you every single day," logan says. "i'm sorry. i know you've got a boyfriend and i'm sure he's great, but-"
"i told you," you laugh dryly, throwing your head back. "if you just tell me right now... i'll be all yours."
"but i can't do that to somebody else," logan frowns with a shake of his head. he's contemplated a lot over the past couple of days. how appealing your proposal sounds to him, but the fact that you're still seeing somebody has been making him hesitate. "you know what that means."
you press your lips together. logan's always made sure that he was as morally right as much as he could with his decisions. you sigh, a small hesitant smile stretching your lips. "we broke up."
"what?"
"i broke up with him a couple days ago," you whisper, dropping your eyes to avoid his questioning stare. "i just wanted to go to germany with a fresh start."
logan doesn't say anything immediately. and you don't follow up your confession with anything either. so you look up into the sky as you sway your feet left and right as you try to count the stars that illuminate the night sky. your heart pounds in your chest as you anticipate what he will say next.
and you know he's still there, thinking hard because you can still see his shadow against the playground flooring.
"stay the night," he says softly.
you sit up, both of your hands gripping the sides of the slide as you turn to look at him. "what did you just say?"
"come home with me and then let's talk about it," logan smiles, though he still looks just as tired as before. "let's figure it out, you and me; germany. let me make this right."
"you idiot," you laugh, tears falling out of your eyes again as you have another outburst. "logan."
"wait, why are you crying?" his voice is soft and laced with shock, hands held out towards your body. "i thought this was what you wanted? did i cross a line? i'm sorry."
"no, i just," you cry, wiping the tears from your face. "god, i just missed you so much. i'm sorry. it's not you."
he's now gotten up from his seat. he's knelt down next to the slide you're sitting in, trying to reach out and touch your arm. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry it took me this long." his thumbs swipe over your cheeks, wiping away your tears. "please don't cry anymore."
@thatgirlmj @lfm98 @gentlyweeps-world @ladywhistledownx @charli123456789 @lightdragonrayne @k-pevensie28 @angsthology
#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant x fem!reader#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1#f1 x y/n#logan sargeant x y/n#formula 1#formula 1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#logan sargeant fanfic#logan sargeant fanfiction#disneyprincemuke imagine#disneyprincemuke#disneyprincemuke imagines#disneyprincemuke f1
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Okay okay okay, so errr I have like maybe a couple things but I'm not throwing everything with the expectation that you write all of them!!!
First maybe Azriel taking fem reader to a starfall ball. Bonus points if A already knows B is their mate, and they're waiting for A to find out
Okay okay now for Xaddy Xaden. WHAT ABOUT Xaden Riorson smut maybe? Idk I don't have a plot I just kinda want him
THANK YOU SO MUCH
Diamonds and Pearls
Azriel x f!Reader
A/n: I think this is my favorite fic I’ve written so far. I almost started crying writing this tbh. I went with Az bc I’m in a fluffy mood this evening but Xaden smut is coming I swear😉
Warnings: disgustingly fluffy
Azriel was surprised by how bold he had been in asking you to go to the annual Starfall ball with him. He didn’t want to dance around his feelings for you anymore, he had to tell you the truth. And tonight was the perfect night. Azriel never considered himself a romantic male, but that was changing tonight.
The reason for Azriel’s boldness was thanks to the mating bond. The bond had snapped for him exactly three weeks ago at breakfast. It was nothing special, just you, him, Cassian, and Nesta sitting at the table when it hit him. Feeling that golden thread come to life in his chest, being able to feel your calm heartbeat was the best thing that has ever happened to him.
For the first time in his life Azriel felt pure joy. He felt like everything was perfectly aligned. He was already head over heels in love with you and the mating bond just solidified that you were the one for him. You had known each other for centuries, and have been seeing each other romantically for a few months now. He was ready to take your relationship to the next step.
But would you want this with him? To be tied to him forever? He didn’t stop to think about that during his weeks of planning the perfect night to tell you. No, he couldn’t let his mind wander, he was too happy. He realized in his worrying his shadows were swirling around him and the hallway. Azriel called the rogue shadows back to him, he didn’t want to scare you when you came out of your room.
Just as your door opens the last shadow flys back to him. Of course the one shadow that was fond of you was last to come back to Azriel.
As soon as Azriel laid eyes on you he was speechless. You looked like the brightest star that would grace the sky this evening. Your dress was a beautiful light blue, made up of diamonds and pearls strung along the bodice. Your leg peeking out of the slit in your flowing silk skirt that had a layer of shimmering fabric that reflected in the light. Your silver heels clacking on the tiled floors as you made your way towards the shadowsinger.
“Wow.” He breathed out. You spun causing the dress to flare out, it practically glowed, just like you Azriel thought. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Azriel suddenly felt guilty for wearing just a simple all black outfit on such a special night. A blush dusted his cheeks, “Thank you.” He holds out the box he’s been clutching for 2 hours, afraid he’d lose the gift he bought you. “I got you something for tonight.”
“Oh, Az, you didn’t have to get me anything.” You took the box from his hands, slipping one into his hands, smirking. “Very slick.” You giggle.
“You open yours first, and I promise I did not go to Mor for gift advice.” Azriel laughed, opening the box. His eyes went wide, he couldn’t believe you had given him something so beautiful. In the box was a silver signet ring with his wings and Mount Ramiel with the stars above it. “Y/n…this is incredible. Thank you.” He smiles down at you, his heart soaring at your kindness. “Your turn,” he slips the ring on his index finger, flexing his scarred fingers at the new feeling.
You open the skinny box to a gleaming diamond and sapphire bracelet. “Azriel! This is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you.” He takes the delicate chain out of the box, “Allow me.” You smile at him as he clasps the bracelet on your wrist. He brings your hand up to his mouth leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles.
He drops your hand, offering you his arm, “Shall we?” You interlock your arm with his and he whisks you away to the party. To the future he has planned for you, hopefully.
…
The stars are about to fall and Azriel had stolen you away from the Inner Circle to watch them on a private balcony. You were very excited to watch the stars with just Azriel. You planned to tell him that you loved him tonight, something you haven’t said to each other yet.
Lost in your thoughts about the beautiful shadowsinger, staring up at the stars he sneaks up behind you, tapping you on the shoulder. Startled, you turn towards his smiling face as he holds out a glass of wine for you, “What are sneaking up on me for!” Chuckling at your reaction he pulls you into his side, wrapping a wing around you, “Sorry darling, force of habit.”
You sip from the glass as the stars start to fall, watching in awe. The stars only hold Azriel’s attention briefly, more interested in watching you glow under their flashing light. Mother above you are beautiful, and he’s thanking her, like he has everyday since the bond snapped, that you’re in his life.
After a few more minutes of watching the stars you feel Azriel’s eyes on you. You turn, shifting a little away from him and smile. “I’m very happy I get to spend Starfall with you Az.”
“I am too y/n.” He swallows, now’s the time to tell you. He’s not backing out now. “I have something to tell you.” You say in unison. Laughing at your synchronization, you take Azriel’s hands in yours, swiping your thumb over the new signet ring reflecting all the blues and purples from the stars. “You go first.”
Azriel can feel his hands clamming up, it’s now or never. He’s just going to come right out and say it, even if it comes out sounding foolish. “A few weeks ago, at breakfast the mating bond snapped for me, for you. I could feel your heartbeat and happiness as you laughed at Nesta’s joke. And I swear in that moment I fell in love with you all over again. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to tell you. I understand if you don’t want this because honestly I don’t deserve you y/n or the love you give me. But I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Tears were falling from your eyes. You couldn’t believe what Azriel was saying. You wanted this so badly from the day you first met. All you wanted was his love, but this was even better. You had dreamed about finding your mate ever since your mother told you about the concept when you were a little girl. Now yours is standing right in front of you confessing his love for you!
“Yes Azriel,” nodding vigorously, sending more tears flying down your cheeks. “I love you and you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’m so lucky to have you as my mate, I couldn’t ask for anyone better.” Tears were now falling down his face. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you flush against him, kissing you heatedly.
In that moment the bond came to life in your chest. Glowing bright, connecting the two of you forever.
tags: @msiecrane @auggiesolovey
#acotar fanfiction#acotar reader imagine#acotar#acotar reader fic#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel fic#acotar imagine#azriel fluff#Azriel acotar x you
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The game of cat and spider Chapter 1
Main masterlist ♡ Miguel O'hara masterlist ♡ The game of cat and spider Masterlist ♡ AO3
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |
A/n: And here I am with my first Miguel fanfic! I can't say how many chapters this story will have because I am still in the middle of planning out this fic. I hope you enjoy it! I am looking forward to reading your feedback :3 I will try my best and update every week
Pairing: Miguel o'hara x black cat! Reader
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: mention on a wound and blood. There are probably some mistakes since I didn't proofread ups..
Series Summary: You are a criminal and he's a hero. You don't know each other's names, never seen the person behind the mask. You aren't enemies- you are supposed to be but that didn't work out quite well. You liked each other a bit too much, but your relationship was strictly…. Professional? What happens if you meet as normal people, with no masks and responsibilities in your way? What did the universe plan for you? And most importantly…. Will it last?
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"Here, kitty kitty." The spider-man called, chasing the town's most famous thief- the black cat. You were proud of this title- most wanted criminal in Nueva York. You worked hard to earn that and no person was gonna take that away from you. Especially not a grown us man playing dress-up at night.
It stopped raining hours ago, but the streets were still wet and slippery which meant you had to be really careful. It would be incredibly embarrassing to land on your ass and get your suit wet in front of the town's favourite superhero. Even though it was still summer, the nights got really cold sometimes. Like now. Your suit wasn't made for this kind of weather and if you weren't running you would surely be shivering. The raindrops on windows and the ground reflected the street lights, creating a cozy atmosphere. It was one of the most silent parts of the city- there weren't many cars driving at this hour and people who lived there were already asleep. A typical upper class corner. It was unusual for a metropole like Nueva York to be this quiet, that's why you liked 'working' in this neighbourhood. It was quiet. Almost relaxing. You would probably appreciate your surroundings more if it wasn't for the man in a latex bodysuit running after you.
His costume was soaked after you pushed him into the pool in someone's garden as you were fighting him off of you. The droplets made him shine a little when the light hit him at the right angle.
At first Miguel treated you like any other criminal- you were an obstacle that had to be removed- but you escaped him every damn time. O'hara was beyond furious the first few times it happened. And your flirty comments and constant teasing didn't help at all. That's why he was surprised when he noticed that he started doing that, too at some point. Chasing you became more of a hobby than responsibility and even though Miguel would never say that out loud, he kinda enjoyed it. It's been almost a year since the two of you started that little game of cat and spider and it would be a lie if Miguel said you were an enemy. You were more of a…. Miguel wasn't entirely sure what your relationship was, but you definitely didn't hate each other and even though it's Spider-man's job to capture you, he didn't actually want to do it. But you didn't have to know about that.
"Just give me the necklace back and we can call it a day." The man sighed, pretending to be irritated as you kept running away. The black cat made spider-man's job fun, but the man would never admit it. The 'fights' with you- if Miguel could even call them fights- were different. You were no villain that wanted to take over the town. Neither were you ever going to kill him just because he's spider-man. That's why Miguel actually kinda enjoyed those 'fights'. You were just a thief- a very skillful one, but still. The black cat had a sense of humour that no other person had and Miguel yearned for those interactions. It probably wasn't very hero-like to enjoy talking with a criminal, but O'hara wasn't an ordinary hero. He didn't like doing things by the 'superhero handbook'.
"Ask nicely and maybe I will" you chuckled, climbing over a wired fence. You were distracted by the man and didn't observe your surroundings well. That's why you hissed in pain as one of the wires that was standing out cut the skin on your tight, tearing your suit as well. You had to keep running, but the pain in your leg was slowing you down.
You gasped as you felt strong arms holding your shoulders from behind. Your back collided with Spider-man's broad chest. It made your head spin. Or was it because of the pain?
"Give it back, pretty please." The masked man whispered into your ear. "You will hurt yourself more if you keep running" his deep voice made shivers run down your spine.
"Pff, do you think I'm stupid?" You chuckled, turning your head to the left to get a better look at the masked man. "I worked two weeks to get this, you're not taking it away from me." You heard the spider-man sigh heavily. Your heartbeat quickened its pace and you begged it to stop. Having him touch you so firm, but yet so gentle made your knees buckle and you had enough.
For a moment your eyes met- at least that's what you thought since you couldn't really see his eyes- and you almost melted against his chest. That's when you decided it was too much and that your heart was crossing a line- how dared it make you feel weak and vulnerable?! You kicked the man's leg, taking him by surprise and fled. You heard some Spanish curses thrown your way and giggled. You run, ignoring the stinging sensation and manage to actually lose the hero. Enough adventures for one night.
You patted yourself on the shoulder for a job well done and headed back home. You arrived at an alley behind your apartment complex- that's where you hid a backpack with a simple hoodie and sweatpants. It would be weird if you entered the building as the black cat. You liked risks, but you would never compromise your private life. It was important to keep your secret identity a secret- that was the whole point of the word 'secret'. The neighbours wouldn't be happy to know you're a criminal- they already complained that your cat runs around the apartment complex unsupervised as if that was their biggest concern.
And it wasn't like you were really a criminal! Well, technically you were- stealing is a crime- but it's not like you were doing that for selfish reasons! You almost never keep the money from your heists to yourself. In the eye of the public you are an honourable person- an angel that supports charities, animal shelters and orphanages. They never ask where the money came from- they are simply happy they are getting some support. You still did some petry crime sometimes. Like that one time when some business guy was being rude to a waitress so you stole his wallet. Or that one time where you broke into the house of your best friend's ex boyfriend and stole his watch collection because he cheated on her. The point was that you only stole from bad people. And as everyone knows stealing from the rich is not a crime.
That spider-man guy didn't know about it, of course. You never told him why you are stealing and he didn't really have to know. It was fun to be chased by him- at the very beginning of your journey as the black cat you would always get an adrenaline kick from your robberies. But after a while it wasn't as thrilling anymore… you have gotten too good at cracking safes open and hacking security systems. It became so monotonous and simply not exciting. And then the spider-man came. The masked man made your 'side job' fun again. You got to steal from the rich, give to the poor and get chased by a charismatic hero in a tight latex costume. You never knew when he would appear, meaning you always had to be on your toes. But when he finally showed up, oh boy was it fun. You were worried at first, thinking he was capable enough to capture you, but thankfully you were wrong. The masked man was capable, of course, but not enough to get you. He was definitely a challenge and that's why you were determined to never get caught by him. You were sure that at some point he started enjoying those interactions, too.
You swore under your breath, looking for the keys to your apartment's door in the pockets of your hello kitty themed backpack. The blood coming from your tight soaked into the grey sweatpants you wore over your suit and if one of your nosy neighbours saw you like that you would never hear the end of it. And if they saw the shiny necklace in your bag they would bombard you with questions and gossip about it later. Finally after what felt like eternity you found the keys and with a relieved smile you opened the door. You could still feel his touch on your body…
You were greeted by the loud meowing of your beloved cat, Migsy.
"Yeah, I missed you too, baby" You chuckled, gently patting her head. "I will give you all my love when I patch myself up." You sighed heavily and headed to the bathroom. Your apartment wasn't really big- you had a bathroom, kitchen, living room and a bedroom with a little balcony attached to it. It was enough for you. Determined to make this house a home you spent hours painting the murals on your walls and decorating them with your art and photos. People loved spending time in your apartment- it was so green and fresh because of all the plants scattered across the floor. You always took good care of them and even gave them names. It might have been childish, but it made you happy and that was the only thing that mattered.
You would love nothing but to collapse on your green bubble couch and watch some shitty TV, but you had to take care of yourself first. There was no one else who could do that for you.
The rest of your night was filled with frustrated sobs as you stitched yourself up and the sound of music playing in the background that you put on to calm your nerves. The music didn't help though and you were still a nervous mess. Your head was filled with many thoughts about the man behind the spider-man mask. This little game the two of you played was getting dangerous. You realised it one night after you dreamed about kissing him- you told yourself it was nothing more than a silly crush to make yourself feel better. The man was very attractive after all. At least his body was because you have never seen his face. And that was another one of your problems- you yearned to know who he was behind the mast. Were his eyes brown or green? Did he have dimples when he smiled? Would his lips feel good against yours?
"Meow!" Migsy's cry snapped you out of your daydream.
"Oh, yeah, sorry baby," you apologised, quickly bandaging your wound. "I'm all yours now." You gave your furry roommate a gentle smile and picked her up. "It's time for us to sleep, don't you think?" You talked to the cat and she looked at you with her pretty yellow eyes.
You laid down on your bed, hugging the animal closer you your chest and her soft purring made you relax into the cold pillow.
You fell asleep, hoping that the Spider-man won't visit you in your dreams this time.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ chapter 2 ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Tag list: @serpentstarr @bucketluvr @nxrdamp
#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099 x reader
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ive been thinking abt a week? to delete my account or my story but u know what idgaf anymore because its just gonna give those people more courage for accusing me of being a liar
oh u dont know what im talking bout rn how cute
I was in the hospital til 2 days ago. as a patient. and i believe this happened bc of some jealousy bitches (or im just bein a drama queen)
ik it sounds like im blaming someone but irl yes i do blame someone
in dog years i blame those bitches
last week? i dont even remember what the day
mom got sick again but its okay shes fine now and then i had a car crash🪩🤩🪩my phone died in the crash literally died i had to buy a new one do you guys have any idea abt how much are this things in my country i really dont care abt the money but be for real wtf actually
i answered all of your questions carefully and with kindness i tried to be there for you guys and the moment i tell you abt my success story i had an accident! um sir wtf am i really being dramatic rn? cause ive been thinking bout this for days and theres no other explanation even if there is i cant see
so here it goes,,, i was just chilling in my home and then i read a dm about a girl that she wants to get in her void and as always i explained how she can get in but she kept ask me about how to get in but like girl hellooo i literally told you how. r u kidding me is this a social experiment to evaluate my patience? and then i said to her that this is the only thing that she should do for getting into
she said, no you are lying it cant be like this! bla bla
i transformed to this cat at that moment this is real me now.
anyway at the end of that conversation she said that im lying, if any of these(my manifestation results) are true then i should show her bc she have "doubts🎀" aww for her doubts i should reveal my self in her home bc she have doubts🎀 i should transport there with my void and show her how to do it irl thats what she asked me no- thats what she commanded me to, she was like "do it" and i was like "what😃" i said no ofc what do u want me to say, ok lets do itt lets break my privacy togetherrr let me get in your void for you and again let me do make your dreams comes true yayyy itll be fun right😍😍😍
i dont even know what to say to that
maybe this?
u think im joking which ur right bc i am
but its kinda serious here buddy what should i say to you when u command me to get in your void for you, like how can i reject you and still be that kind sister for u?
anyway i said no to her and she said im a lair and i broke her heart with my selfishness(then i blocked her ofc)then i go out w my friends this is the part i got hit by a car😇
opened my eyes into the white light like im a mf drama movie character
while im in the hospital i thought i can delete my account and can get rid of this bad luck/shits once and for all but again its just gonna give those bitches courage and they think that they right
"loa is a cult and everyone is a liar bc they cant prove bla bla" dont u dare to blame me for your failure
you didn't got in AND you want me to do it for you???honey im sorry for your loss bc it seems like you just lost your dignity yeah we just buried it u missed such a precious moment🥲
and guess what i have nothing to prove you i literally dont have to prove anything to you. like for real. if you dont believe the story can u just move on please? bc i dont give a damn shit about your insecurities, your doubts and ur blablabla
its literally on you girl BC IT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR MF REALITY? LIKE DO YOU REALLY NEED A MANUAL BOOK FOR THIS?
im sorry for being a bitter today but i really feel like this(bitter), so not sorry maybe😗
but i didn't mean it when i said idgaf to ur insecurities.. i do honey its just been a rough week and i dont know how to put my anger in to the words
it can be a evil eye 🧿 or i just might be a drama queen sooo.. again sorry(?) if anything offends u, i love you guys but its just so complicated here(my head) and i just dont know
and now im just being weird w all this nonsense
i should go now, i will return your dms asap just need some rest
loves, siena
#the void state#i am state#4d reality#pure consciousness#void success stories#manifesation#manifesting#shifting consciousness
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I just had my first ever adult-y 'im sorry but we can't be friends anymore' conversation and it really sucked and it really hurt and I'm writing it down here bcus i feel awful🫠
Long story
So we met on the dating apps years ago and we've kept in contact ever since cause he's genuinely a sweet & cool guy. Also, he was hard of hearing and would teach me cool indo sign language stuff
He lives in another city and only visits occasionally for work reasons but whenever he stopped by we would hang out
Back then it would be hanging out and hooking up but ever since i met my bf he wanted to make it clear that the latter was off the table since he wasnt comfortable with it
The next time we met I had to explain to him that I was no longer in the market for a partner, but I really valued his friendship - trying my best to show that I didn't wanna lead him on if that was the case
Even though he said he understood, it really didn't seem that way over the next few months
We would be having normal conversations and catching up on whatsapp and he'd randomly say "so you don't have feelings for me?" or "what did i do wrong?" - and it really made it awkward like we were literally discussing our spotify albums 2 minutes ago what happened
The worst part is, he would ask these questions very genuinely and sometimes follow up on these questions. So then I would match the tone as best i can - only to get the response "haha yeah i was joking i already know haha". Whenever it happened i would laugh it off and look stupid
But the final straw happened a few hours ago. He was feeling flirty but i was tired so i said to try and find a casual hookup on the dating app. He's genuinely really handsome and he's always been popular on the apps so i said it shouldn't be hard for him and that he'd find someone within the hour
He then straight up LIES to me and says that he deleted the apps a few weeks ago, following that up by writing "you are more than enough"
Afraid that he thought i was leading him on or sending him signals, i tried to shoot that down as fast as possible. Basically going through the motions of rejecting someones advances as respectfully as i possibly could to a good friend i cared about
After a few grueling minutes of silence, he hits me with the "damn i wasnt being serious" and sends me a screenshot of the app still on his phone (full of unread notifications - remember: popular)
Fast forward an hour later and ive blocked him everywhere except instagram dms, where i told him that i needed some space
Yes he apologized profusely and yes i accepted his apology but i just got so stressed and humiliated that I couldn't take it anymore
I still feel awful
This is usually something i would vent to my boyfriend but he's asleep rn so ill just let my [tumblr] mutuals know and probably delete it when i wake up
Writing kinda makes me feel better it turns out
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Smoked Out - Part 2
Twice Jihyo x Male Reader
4299 words; smut
A/N: i didn;t think Smoked Out would gain much traction, but seeing as it did and i kinda like where I was going with it, here’s part 2 with highly requested smut LOL again same warnings apply from pt 1 that this is an AU etc etc... anyways this ones a bit longer hehe and MERRY CHRISTMAS here’s a lil gift for you lovelies :) cheers to a small twicecorner cb
Damn these comebacks are stressful... Having to go from venue to venue, keeping track of multiple packed schedules, and with other corporate busywork has been piling up on you. The past few comebacks since you’ve started working with Twice had been relatively easy, but now that you’re in the thick of it in your position and with Covid taking out a few of the other staff members, a lot of work had been placed on you. After the first week of promotions you needed a breather and a much-needed break away from your laptop which you’d been working on for the past 5 hours after your normally scheduled work day. You crack open a beer, grab your jacket and head up to the rooftop of your building. Luckily it as a nice night, so the weather and fresh air felt great. You take a seat on one of the benches overlooking the city.
Since your kiss with Jihyo a few weeks ago, nothing much had happened with how busy things got. The most that came from passing by during schedules was a few flirtatious looks or comments. Neither of you had the time to really talk about it and you both decided on your own to table it until things at work had died down.
You put down your beer next to you and stood up to stretch. While stretching you feel something in your jacket hit your body. It seemed you’d forgotten this was the jacket you were wearing that night. The same jacket that hid your last single cigarette. You pull out the pack and look at it, remembering that night and that faithful kiss. You smile as you think about Jihyo, nothing compared to her. Even with work being a handful, having Jihyo around never failed to help ease any tension. Just her being in the same room put you at ease. Grabbing your beer again you toss with the idea of lighting up the cig or leaving it for a later date or for good. A sudden voice jumps you out of your deep thought.
“Hey stranger.”
You whip your body around to see who the voice belonged to, but you already knew.
“You scared me,” you say laying your eyes on a leisurely dressed Jihyo.
“Well, I didn’t think anyone would be up here this late” she says walking towards you.
“I was up late working on the schedules and such. Needed a break and some air.”
“I can tell. That’s a dead giveaway.” she replies nodding at the beer can and pack still held in your hand.
“We really need to stop meeting this way” you say letting out a chuckle, placing the pack back in your pocket.
“Did you already smoke?” Jihyo asks now coming up to stand next to you, her arms resting on the railing.
You turn around so now both of you are looking out to the skyline. “No, actually I was debating on it, but that night I’d thrown all the others out except one. I guess I was saving it or something”
“Wow, how poetic” she jokes sarcastically letting out a giggle.
“Shut up. I still can’t believe I made a world-renowned idol smoke” you roll your eyes and nudge her lightly.
“What came after it was far better” Jihyo looks at you.
You notice Jihyo’s only dawning a black tank top and seeing at how late it was getting, it started to get a little chilly. “Are you cold?”
“No I’m okay, I’m used to it” she says, but her actions of her arms now folded over each other say otherwise. You pull off your jacket and drape it around her shoulders. “Here.”
She smiles and pulls it around her body, “Thanks.”
After a few minutes of small talk and looking out into the distance, Jihyo fumbles around your jacket. She pulls out the pack.
“Jackpot” she says grinning holding it up.
“Hey! What are you doing with that? No, don’t open it. Jihyo! No.” you try to get it out of her hands but she steps back and now you’re foolishly dancing with her like two kids fighting over a toy. In the midst of it, she’s able to pull out the cigarette and put it between her lips. She stands and poses with it there, mimicking the motions without lighting it. You stop and watch her.
“I’m just pretending, I’ve never actually felt it between my lips or in my fingers.” You’re in awe of her beauty, even in the juxtaposing situation of having the nations girl group leader with a cigarette between her lips.
“Okay fine. Just for fun.” you throw the white flag and let her have her fun. You step close to her and pull her towards you grabbing your jacket. “I won’t lie, you look good with it. It’s hot.” you say only half joking. Jihyo laughs and holds it between her fingers, she plays along and strikes some poses trying to look cool and edgy. After a small laugh you easily take it back from her, reaching into the pocket of your jacket and pulling out the box.
“Wait...Is it bad I want to see you do it again?” she says referring to you smoking.
You raise an eyebrow as you slide the cigarette back into the box. “You mean see me smoke?” the question rolls from your mouth with confusion.
“Yeah... I don’t want to sound weird, but now every time I’m out and see someone smoke I pay some attention to them. But... none of them do it the way you do, not that I’ve seen anyways. You know, the thing with your nose.” She points to the space between her upper lip and her nose as she says that.
“Ah.. the french inhale...” You trail off still fighting with the idea of it. Grabbing your beer you take another swig and hand her the can, “You want some?”
“Of course” Jihyo says, her eyes lighting up, “These past few days of learning the new choreography and dealing with promotions have been intense.” She takes a few gulps.
“Should we go out for some drinks then? It is Friday after all, I’m surprised you’re not already out with the other girls tonight.” You say watching her and toying with the box in your hands.
“Most of them went straight home earlier. I had to stay back to finish recording, I could call up Jeongyeon and Nayeon, I’m sure they’d want to go out, but I’m already here with you...” Jihyo turns to look back out at the skyline. “Let’s go. There’s a bar I like not too far from here, about a 5 minute drive”
Soon you find yourself in a taxi with Jihyo on the way to a bar you’ve never heard of. Of course it’s a bustling Friday night and the bar is lively and crowded. You have a couple of drinks and laugh and talk about whatever. You’ve never felt so comfortable with someone before especially considering Jihyo’s rank in society. After a few drinks and shots of soju, both of you are happily tipsy and stumble out of the crowded bar.
“Oh! Wait! My place isn’t too far from here!” You notice in your daze.
“I’ll walk you home then!” Jihyo replies, seemingly not as drunk as you are. The cool air calms your nerves and redness from the drinks.
“Yeah, I think a walk will help...” Still in your nicely drunken haze, you pull the pack from your pocket.
“Oh finally!” Jihyo exclaims clapping her hands seeing you pull it out.
“Wow I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get excited over smoking before” You laugh at her.
“Oh shut up!” Jihyo playfully punches you. A smoke after a night of drinking and walking in the cool air never fails to ease any stress in you. You place the cigarette between your lips and cup the end while you light it. The first breath warms your mouth and you pull the smoke instinctively through your nostrils. After letting out a puff of smoke, you sigh in relief.
“Wow.. daebak” Jihyo says intently watching you. You continue to talk and walk, by the time you smoke half of the cigarette you’ve made it to your apartment building.
“Here it is...” You say slightly disappointed that this is where Jihyo would leave you, “It’s getting a bit colder. Do you want me to call you a cab?” You ask.
“No it’s okay. Is it okay if I come inside? I can warm up a bit and then head out.” Jihyo offers.
“Sure I have extra jackets and sweatshirts if you need too” you respond.
Up in your apartment you give her the tour of your small space and head out to the small balcony. “Wow even a balcony!” Jihyo says in surprise as if she doesn’t live in luxury.
You bring out two beers and pull out the other half of the cigarette and light it again. Jihyo rests her arm on the railing and turns to watch you.
“Do you want to do it again?” You ask, knowing she understands you.
“Yeah...” she replies stepping closer. You follow the same motions as that night and pull her face towards yours before exhaling a bit of smoke into her mouth. As she takes it in, she closes the distance letting the smoke escape from the corners of your mouths as your lips touch. Her arms wrap around your neck and yours around her waist. You pull back for a moment, placing the cigarette in the ashtray. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Just kiss me.” She responds, her voice low, pulling you back into her. The pace of the kiss increases as your lips dance together, and her tongue darts out and licks your lower lip. Allowing her to cross the bridge, you open your mouth to let her in. Your tongues circle and dance exchanging saliva and lust. Jihyo moans into your mouth as you grip her hips tighter and pull her body flush against yours.
You pull away and place your mouth next to her ear, “I… I want you Jihyo” You saw lowly, eliciting a breathy moan from the girl who runs her hands into your hair. As you start to place messy kisses along her jaw and neck she breathes out, “I want you too.” The green lights flash and something wakes up in both of you. You peel your jacket off and throw it blindly towards one of the chairs on the balcony and run your hands down Jihyo’s back down to rest on her supple ass as you continue to make out. Jihyo pulls at the hem of your shirt and you step back, allowing her to pull it off of you. Jihyo takes a second to admire your naked upper half. You smirk at the newfound confidence and hunger growing within you. Jihyo lunges towards you licking, kissing, and sucking on any bare skin she could find. Your head falls back and her hand darts towards your quickly growing bulge. Upon feeling your crotch she gasps at your size.
You massage her ass and your hand runs up under her tanktop to unclasp her bra. Finally letting her godsent milkers free. You watch as they freely recoil on her small tight body. “Can I?” You ask taking hold of the hem of her tank top. “Take it off baby… I know you want my tits, don’t think I don’t see you staring every day” Jihyo says slyly. She wasn’t lying, as much as you’d want to deny, how could you. You tear off her top and let your eyes feast on her naked upper half, her perfect round tits set upon her torso, her tight abdomen and prominent collar bones.
“Sculpted by the gods” You say under your breath admiring her body.
“Don’t just stand there loverboy… Taste them” Jihyo presses her chest out towards you. Grabbing onto her thighs you hoist her up and rest her on the railing so her chest is at face level. You drag your tongue between the valley of her breasts before kissing and making your way to suck on one of her taught nipples. Jihyo lets out a long moan and throws her head back, her hands intertwining with your hair. “Oh fuck yes baby… suck on my tits… good boy” she encourages you. You moan around her nipples as your other hand moves to massage and play with the other. Soon you switch and look up at her, her chest now heaving and her legs wrapped around your body. You could feel your pants getting tighter by the second. You needed more.
Hoisting her up again, you bring her inside to your bedroom. You toss her onto the bed and she scoots up, crawling up after her you help her out of her pants so she’s left in her small black panties. “Holy shit…” you say in awe of the situation. Park Jihyo, technically one of your bosses, almost naked in your bed, begging and waiting for you to ravage her, to please her. It was a dream come true. Jihyo hops up onto her knees and switches places with you so you’re laying back on your elbows. She travels down your body and undoes your pants leaving you in your underwear. Seeing the outline of your cock practically made her mouth water. She slowly pulls your underwear off and your length springs freely from its cotton confines against your stomach.
“So… big” Jihyo says looking at you. You don’t know how to respond so you just give her a silly smirk. She takes hold of it and that sight alone could’ve made you bust instantly, but you knew you needed to hold out. “I can’t wait to taste this” She moans starting to slowly stroke your cock.
“Holy fuck Jihyo… this is so hot… you’re so hot” you moan, barely able to piece sentences together at this point.
She licks her lips then brings her mouth to your tip. She circles your tip with her tongue before taking it into her mouth and sucking deeply. You let out a loud moan and your cock twitches in her hand. Jihyo slowly starts to bob her head up and down taking every inch in deeper and deeper. Your hand instinctively runs through her hair to hold her head. Every now and then you open your ecstasy-shut eyes to peak at the beautiful woman sucking your cock. You feared that watching the whole thing may lead to an unexpected bust. Jihyo pops off your tip and licks the underside of your length before going back down, stroking your cock with your hand she wraps her lips around each of your heavy balls. “Ohhhh my god JIhyo that’s so good… fuck you’re so good” you moan out. Jihyo looks up at you with hooded eyes, fogged over with lust. Sucking down your length one last time she moves her body slightly up.
“I know you want to… and I want you to too… this big cock.. Between my big tits…” Jihyo says, dripping with sex and lust.
She encases your length with her heavy tits and your hips jerk at the feeling. Her soft, warm skin, around your wet cock. Jihyo starts to move up and down, licking your tip whenever it peaked through her mounds. She speeds up her movements, intermittently slowing down and speeding up, almost in an attempt to edge you with her breasts.
“Fuck… Jihyo if you keep doing that I’ll cum… let me eat you out please I need you” you beg in hopes of not ending the night before you could even fuck her.
“Mmm fuck please baby… I’m already so wet for you” Jihyo coos getting up to switch positions with you.
Between her legs, you pull her panties down with your teeth, getting a quick whiff of her scent. A sweet mix of her perfume, her sweat and her essence. After pulling off her underwear you sit in awe again, her naked body on full display for you in the low light. You lift her legs so that they’re propped up on the bed and your arms hook around her thighs, spreading her pussy for you. “Eat me baby” Jihyo moans in anticipation.
You start by placing kisses on her inner thighs, trailing your way to her core. You blow lightly on her pussy making her back arch as you watch her wetness increase. Finally diving in, you lick a strip from her hole to her clit which you clasp your lips around and suck, swirling your tongue around it. Jihyo moans loudly and writhes in pleasure. “Ohhhh fuck baby! Just like that… eat my fucking pussy!”
You continue your feast, licking and sucking on her folds, dipping your tongue into her wet hole before starting to tease with your fingers. You look up at her throughout your assault, her eyes shut in pleasure, her mouth gaped open with streams of beautiful moans flowing out. It was like a masterful, sensual painting. “You look gorgeous Jihyo” the words slipping out as you admire her.
“God you’re making me even wetter baby” she moans back smirking. As she does so, you sneakily press a finger inside of her waiting hole. “OH! Yess babyyyy” Jihyo moans in surprise. You pair your fingering with continuing to suck and lick her swollen clit. Her legs start to shake as you find her spot, “Oh fuck holy shit… baby right there oh my god yes….”
Jihyo starts to move her hips, wanting more of you. “Damnit baby fuck me already… I wanna feel that big cock inside me so bad… I need to cum all over you”
Her words shock you, you never thought such dirty words would come from the leader of the nations girl group. You couldn’t resist so you pull your fingers out of her and suck her juices off of your digits, making sure she’s watching. “Kiss me. Let me taste” she yearns
You oblige and lean down to kiss her, as the kiss ensues you line your cock with her entrance and slowly push in. She digs her nails into your shoulders and moans into your mouth. You were surprised with how long you’ve been able to last without even fucking her yet, but now was the real test. Letting her adjust to your size, her tight wet pussy grabbed onto your length for dear life. Slowly starting to withdraw your hips and push back in you both moan in pure pleasure. “Fuck me” she moans into your ear, before latching her lips onto your neck. You pant and grunt as you start to push in and out of her tight hole. Her legs wrap around your waist keeping your cock in at all times. Speeding up you lean up, Jihyo admiring her work of a dark red hickey on your neck and you thrust harder and faster, delighting in watching her tits bounce with the force of your body. “God you’re so fucking tight Jihyo” You groan, “Your tits look so fucking good holy shit”
Jihyo, wanting to encourage you even more, grabs hold of her chest and presses them together, toying with her own nipples, even testing her limits, pulling one up to her own mouth, darting her tongue out to lap up her taught nipples. “Oh my fucking god….” you moan, ramping up your speed. Your grip on her small waist tightens and you pull out so that your tip is barely held in by her hole before slamming back into her. At this point you’re both a mess, hungry animals just in search of pleasure and release. You pull out and quickly flip her around, hoisting her hips up and stradling her legs you press your cock back in her to prone bone her. You instantly hit her spot and her head whips back to look at you, “RIGHT THERE FUCK ME RIGHT THERE HARDER!!!” She practically yells.
You do as you’re told and press her hip into the bed, your other hand gripping into her hair and pulling back as you fuck her harder and faster. Jihyo’s moans readh a new level and her legs start to kick up in pure ecstasy. You lean over and moan into her ear, your back pressed against hers, the sound of your balls hitting her wet pussy adding to the thickness of the room. Your wrap your arm around her head and move her to face you, “You like this JIhyo? Getting fucked by my big cock? Your tight wet pussy, gripping my length?” You urge her on, driving her quickly towards her edge.
“Oh my god yes baby! Fuck I love it holy shit I love your big cock in me!” Jihyo moans back, spit dripping from the edges of her open mouth.
“Cum for me Jihyo… cum all over your loverboys cock” You command her, placing your hand around her throat and fucking her harder, deeper, and faster. Jihyo’s moans become even higher in pitch and you can feel her walls start to pulse around you. “I- I’m gonna fuck.. I’m gonna cum baby… I’m gonna cum all over your cock baby!” With that her entire body tenses and twitches in your arms, her eyes shut and her moan cuts out. Her pussy pulsates and wettens around you as you slow your thrusts. You place soft kisses on her neck and shoulder, rubbing her hips and ass to ride out her intense orgasm. After a few minutes she recovers and it takes everything from you not to cum with her. In her post orgasm haze she turns to face you. “I want your cum in me.” she declares. Your eyes lock with hers in shock, “Huh?” you question, thinking it would be too risky. “It’s fine, I’m on the pill anyways… plus if you cum in me I’ll probably cum again too, but I want to see you.”
“O-okay babe” you reply pulling out as she turns over onto her back again and holding her legs up for you. Her juices drip from her now gaping hole. You line yourself up once again and you push into her, your head falling back at the now familiar feeling of her walls. You want to imprint this view and feeling into your mind, since you didn’t know if it would ever happen again. You lean down and kiss her passionately as you start to fuck her fast and hard, the way she likes. Her tongue dances with yours and her arms find their place around your neck and wrapping up in your hair, her tits pillowing against your chest and her tight pussy squeezing your cock as you fuck her.
Starting to fuck her even harder and faster her hands move to scratch down your back, her moans again exceeding the sound barrier and her tits bounce freely. You hold her legs open, looking down to see your cock impaling her small body. You spit down onto her pussy and move your hand to rub her clit as you fuck her. “Oh my god fuck! Baby if you do that… oh my god… fuck it feels so good!!” Jihyo’s voice raising in octaves, signifying her pleasure at your doing. The sights and the sounds were starting to become too much, you could feel yourself nearing the edge. “Jihyo.. I- I’m gonna cum soon… Fuck…” you grunt out.
“Baby keep doing what you’re doing… I’m gonna cum again too… holy shit… Fuck I want your cum in me so bad baby… please cum in me… cum in my tight pussy” Jihyo begs. You fuck her faster and rub her clit just as fast. You start to feel her pussy pulse yet again, but this time it’s wetter. It feels as though her pussy is trying to push you out yet keep you in at the same time. Suddenly Jihyo lets out a loud yelp and your cock is forced out as she squirts all over you, her body racking with intense pleasure. This was it… This was your breaking point. Taking your cock into your hand you quickly jerk off at watching her squirt, you feel yourself about to cum, your toes curl and you start to see stars so you push your cock back inside of her still cumming hole and release your fat load. “Ohhh fuck I’m cumming Jihyo holy shit…” You paint her walls with your thick white cum, both of your bodies twitching and writhing with ecstacy as you both orgasm together. You lean your tired sweaty body ontop of hers, both heaving, your cock still buried and twitching inside of her.
“Oh my god that felt so good… You came so much in me… Fuck…” Jihyo breathes out.
“Jihyo.. That was amazing… I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard holy shit” you lightly chuckle, kissing her cheek. After a few moments of catching your breath, you pull out and watch some of your cum escape her overflowing hole. You watch it run down her puckered ass hole and onto your sheets. She lets a hand down to scoop some up and she brings it to her mouth, cleaning her fingers. “Mmm of course it tastes yummy too” She smirks, raising an eyebrow. Jihyo wanting even more moves to lay on her stomach between your legs and cleans off your sensitive cock. She pops off and looks up at you, licking her lips, “So good baby” she moans. The two of you catch your breath and hold each other, cuddled up on the bed for a few minutes before you break the silence, “So… cigarette after sex?”
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Okay so this has been circling around in my head for like two weeks like a fly hitting windows in a sun-room.
So I'm back on my Tails kitsune AU bullshit and I've also recently gotten into Cult of the Lamb so now they've mashed in my brain into a hodgepodged gloop.
And it's all going below the cut if you wanna read my brain worms cause it's long
***Trigger warning for like blood and cults and kidnapping and drugging. Just to give people a heads up (nothing too graphic or detailed but just in case and let me know if you think I missed anything I might need to warn people about)****
Little side note before jumping into this: do not tag as shipping, there is no shipping here it's all platonic and familial. If I see a ship tag I will block you.
Starting off it doesn't matter if Tails is actually a kitsune or not (I personally prefer that yes he is just for the post situation of the gang all being like "okay so what species is Tails actually???" )
I've just had this idea in my head where some cult somewhere is started and they worship kitsune's as godlike entities. They then catch wind of Tails in the news or rumors and their target is now locked.
So this cults leader gets the 'big brain but head actually empty' idea to kidnap Tails like any sane cult leader would.
Now these people somehow stumble ass backwards into kidnapping Tails and keeping him contained. And by keeping him contained they're basically drugging Tails just enough he's conscious but nonreactive. And they basically dress him up and drag him to their ceremonies as more of object than a kid. Tails is hating it and actually scared cause what the hell is wrong with these people let him go home.
Meanwhile Sonic and the gang are all freaking out cause "WHERE IS HE??!!!!" Cause lets be honest kidnapped by a cult was not on any of their bingo cards and at this point they don't know that's what happened, they only know Tails is gone and none of the usual suspects have him.
Rouge starts going through her contacts on the side looking for any crumb of information and gets a lead. And in typical Rouge fashion splits off on her own to look into it. She then comes across the cult and infiltrates their compound.
During her snooping though she overhears the leader of the cult and his subordinates talking about "living forever through the blood of their god's mortal form", sees a statue of a multi-tailed fox and all the red flags are immediately up for her. Internal panic button is smashed. 2 + 2 = fucked up situation.
She's already pressing the "get your asses here" button on her communicator and tears off as quickly but quietly as she can looking for Tails. When she finds him he's in a locked room just laying in bed, all dressed up in a white outfit. Which strange for her to see him just laying there since normally he'd be out and gone long time ago She sees what they've been giving him next to the bed and she's now double pissed off. (I like to think it's at least been over a week Tails has been missing, but if you wanna get really angsty make about 6 months, just as long as Sonic was locked up in Forces).
As gently but quickly as she can she bundles up Tails and carries him cause at this point he's got so much in his system he can't walk or talk, blinking is kinda his only form of communication at the moment. To which Rouge doesn't know what's worse, for Tails to have been asleep for the whole time unaware or to be awake for the whole time and know what's happening.
Tails on the other hand is just so happy to see her and scared that he starts crying. Which is just breaking Rouge's heart to witness as she starts to backtrack out of there with him, with him just silently crying nonstop in her arms.
Unfortunately only about halfway to the exit they discover Tails is gone and the place starts going into lock down with cultist swarming the halls of the place. And even though Rouge is an excellent fighter, she's in close quarters with a kid who can't walk so she's quickly overrun by cultist who tie her up and take Tails back.
The leader then using all of his one brain cell figures she's already signaled to the other's where they are and he knows it's only a matter of time before the fastest thing on the planet busts their door down looking for his little brother.
The leader announces to the group they're moving up the ceremony to now much to Rouge's horror and they drag her along too kicking and screaming cause they don't have time to drop her off in a cell or anything.
Everyone is now in this big ceremony/chapel room that has a big stone table covered in white flowers, that suspiciously is the perfect size for an 8 year old fox to lay down on. And the leader does just that laying Tails on the table.
Rouge is throwing an absolute fit and cursing everyone out cause no way in hell is she gonna let this happen, it's to the point multiple people are having to hold her down even with her tied up cause she's kicking up such a storm of rage.
Meanwhile, Tails is mentally absolutely freaking out in a panic and is terrified out of his mind, especially when the leader brings out a large ornate knife and starts chanting something.
As the leader is finishing up and reeling back his hand with the knife Sonic busts in and sees all of this. Immediately rushing to the table just as the cult leader goes for the downswing.
Sonic just barely catches the knife about an inch from Tails' chest grabbing on to the blade of it and cutting his hand which drips onto Tails.
Now Sonic finally has a moment to process all of this and what exactly is happening and for obvious reasons he is beyond pissed off. He's probably not far off from turning into dark Sonic or it's creeping around the edges of him. And just as he's about to send the cult leader to meet his maker he glances at Tails' face and that's the only reason he doesn't kill the leader right then and there. Cause Sonic thought Tails was asleep but now he notices not only is Tails somewhat awake but tears are streaming down his face.
So Sonic does the next best thing in this situation, knocks out the leader in less than a second and just pulls Tails into a hug off the table and starts just sobbing with Tails in his lap curled up on the floor. Cause the horror of what about happened and the relief Tails is okay and he found him in time hits Sonic all at once.
The rest of the cultists are still frozen cause for Sonic, Tails and the leader all that happened in less than a minute and the group is still catching their bearings of everything that just happened. Which is a good thing cause in that moment everyone else catches up and runs into this whole scene.
From their perspective though they just see Sonic sobbing over a limp Tails with blood on his chest (from Sonic's hand but they don't know that), a guy knocked out (or possibly dead??) next to them, a big stone table that suspiciously looks like an alter also next to them, Rouge who is still cursing up a storm tied up in the corner and held down by like 5 people, and a room full of people in matching robes that look like the guy up near Sonic and Tails.
The rest of the group now splits off with Amy and Knuckles running over to Sonic and Tails, Shadow going for the leader on the ground, Omega going to help Rouge, and the rest of their friends they had helping them splitting off to take care of the rest of the cultists.
From here everything gets resolved, cultists and leader locked up, Tails getting what ever drugs they were giving him out of his system and going home and everyone somewhat going back to their lives. Sonic however does not leave Tails' side for a while and hovers around him which for the first few weeks Tails appreciates cause if he's honest he doesn't want Sonic to be far from him either after everything and really doesn't want to be alone for long. Tails get constant nightmares about the situation and is snuggling with his big brother almost every night. Which is great for Sonic cause he's also getting terrible nightmares from the ordeal and feels better when he wakes up and Tails is right there.
It does get to the point though where after a bit of recovery and time healing the mental scars Tails has to convince Sonic that he can be go back to running around and exploring without Tails right next to him. It takes a lot of convincing and scheduling regular check-ins (like 5x more than they previously had) but Sonic and Tails slowly get somewhat back to their normal lives.
If you wanna get angsty though have it so Sonic is just a second too slow in saving Tails and the fallout from that. (couldn't be me though I'm a hurt/comfort girly at heart, give me the angst but everyone's okayish in the end)
#miles tails prower#tails the fox#tails kitsune au#kitsune au#enjoy my brain worms#this has been eating away at all my other ideas for a while now#feel free to add on if you like just keep me in the loop#i might post the little comic I'm attempting to draw about that one scene at the altar with Sonic grabbing the knife#that scene is so vivid in my head#I've had bad art block and burnout for like 4 years now since coivd hit and my job got STRESSFUL (call center life sucked)#but I'm slowly trying to knock the rust off my skills#a whole art minor I have not used in a while#my drawing skills are like the Tinman in the Wizard of Oz#someone give me some oil so they move again
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