#it got a bit long and it’s a fic/hc hybrid but that’s okay <33

[inthewild-flowers]

Hi!! I'm sending an ask!!! So. Two ideas competing for attention in my brain, so you can pick! I can ask you to take a Regency era prompt that explores class differences, including British Empire things (TM) (doesn't have to be a continuation of your fic!! It can be hcs!) OR. Ideas/feelings/notions with trans Remus (transmasc or nb) please?

Sorry these are both extremely broad and difficult 🤠 hope they get creative juices flowing?

thank u for sending an ask!! i’m still planning a continuation of that fic but it needs more thinking and research than i have time for rn so!! transmasc remus

honestly i don’t think that remus would know he was trans super early? he might have if not for the whole werewolf thing, but as it is i think he would have spent most of his childhood more focused on being a werewolf and worrying about that and hiding it and therefore would have pushed any gender and sexuality thoughts to the side

i do think that he would have figured it out at hogwarts. as a kid he was always fairly isolated but also allowed to do more or less what he wanted, but then at hogwarts he would have been very suddenly pushed into all this interaction with other people and also all the very gendered stuff that he was mostly able to avoid before — separate dorms for boys and girls, potentially different uniforms depending on how you think of the hogwarts uniforms (i personally don’t have any concrete ideas about them), teachers calling miss lupin — and at that point he can’t really keep on indefinitely ignoring his discomfort at being lumped in with the girls

he does make friends with the girls in his dorm; dorcas, marlene, mary, and emmeline. not lily. we’ll get there. anyway: they’re all nice and lovely and he loves them to bits and they love him and they’re all the best of friends, they really are. but he also sometimes gets the sense that he’s not quite like them somehow. (and maybe he doesn’t know this, but dorcas feels the same sometimes. nonbinary dorcas is a hill i am willing to die on)

he does have a not like other girls phase. it’s short lived, because his friends tell him he’s being shitty, and then he feels bad so he keeps it to himself. it’s also around then that he starts to think about why, exactly, he’s so determined to be not like other girls. he thinks about it mainly so that he’s able to not be awful to his friends, but it eventually leads to oh shit. wait is that a thing? can i be not a girl?

he spends a lot of time in the library after that, trying to find any evidence of people like him. it’s there that he finds lily, although she’s not lily yet, looking for the same thing, but different. she wants to know if she can be a girl.

it’s exciting for both of them, that moment of im not alone look you’re here too you’re like me!! they still don’t know if they can tell anyone, but they have each other now, and that’s something. they choose their names together. remus tells lily he’s a werewolf. she thinks his choice of name is hilarious. she tells him that she wants to be lily because her parents always wanted to name both their children after flowers, but it’s hard to find boy’s names that are also flowers. remus tells her it’s a beautiful name.

she also introduces him to the boys she shares a dorm with. remus already knows who they are, but he hasn’t talked to them much. he’s been too busy with other things to seek out friends he doesn’t share a room with. they’re lovely though, all of them. james, sirius, peter, frank. frank seems like the odd one out, but lily tells remus that he doesn’t mind. his friends are in other houses. the other three boys like remus immediately. the four of them spend all their time together, they become notorious, and remus loves them just as much as he loves his roommates, and he didn’t know he’d ever have this many friends, and he loves it.

he comes out to them, and to his roommates, after sirius approaches remus one day, looking nervous, and says that they read somewhere about they/them pronouns and that they’d like to use those. they look terrified, and remus hugs them and says he’s proud of them and says i’m sort of like that too, and that’s how he comes out. lily does as well, shortly after. then dorcas. one by one, they find out that nearly everyone in the group is queer. they all think it’s amazing and hilarious and fantastic.

for a few years, remus won’t wear skirts at all, won’t touch makeup unless it’s to help sirius, doesn’t want to risk being seen as a woman at all if he can help it. but then he graduates, moves out from home, moves in with his friends, and the more he is seen as a man, the more comfortable he becomes with the idea of femininity.

he thinks, and he talks to sirius, and he decides that he does like they/them pronouns, and starts using them alongside he/him. they let sirius do their makeup sometimes, he steals some of their clothes, or lily’s. they start to relax in their gender, because they can. because he feels more comfortable now than he ever has in his life, and they don’t really want to have to go to all the trouble of performing a whole gender anyway, when it’s so much easier to just exist. so that’s what he does. he exists