#it gon be a lil different when you have an older man telling you things that go against your beliefs yk

[xxplastic-cubexx]

It's 1:30am where I am and I can't stop thinking about if old comic Magneto met FC!Charles he'd probably be like 'oh wow you are a BABY, WHAT, I'm putting you in my pocket and maybe try and radicalize you idk' but if Comic Charles saw FC!Erik he'd just think 'Yep. That's my favourite bastard but younger,'

the everlasting cycle of 'i can make him better/i can make him worst' will transcend time and space with these two TRUST

[mattslolita]

Chris sensing that Bambi feels uncomfortable or doesn’t wanna be at a party anymore.

“yeah me and my girl are ‘bout to head out.” Chris says packing up his weed and grabbing bambis purse for her

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

the party you guys attended had a different atmosphere from the ones you usually attended — there seemed to be an older crowd, which somewhat intimidated you being that you and chris had already had an age difference yourself.

it was hard to tell him that you were uncomfortable, because he was making a good amount of money tonight, and you didn't want to ruin it for him. so instead, you stayed glued to his side for the entire night.

chris wasn't stupid, he noticed your discomfort earlier on in the night — he appreciated the way you seemed to stick it out for him though, being that he was getting a lot of customers, too.

at the moment, you both were standing near the kitchen, chatting with some of chris's mutual friends about random things. you opted to stay out of the conversation though, finding their topics hard to focus on as you felt like your every move was being scrutinized.

chris's hand stayed glued to your waist which you were very thankful for — unfortunately though, it did nothing to stop the perverted eyes of a older blonde man who'd been eyeing you since you came in. you frowned and turned your attention from him, just to notice some of chris's friends looking over at you, too.

"she's so quiet," one of the girls comment, her nose scrunched in confused, "does she talk at all?"

chris's eyes narrow at the girl as his hand squeezes your hip protectively, causing you to gulp and look away in embarrassment. he notices this, causing him to clear this throat. "actually, it's just a different vibe from what she's used to. we're gon' head out, honestly."

your eyes shoot up to chris's whilst his friends bid him goodnight and goodbye. he ignores your stare for a moment whilst packing up his backpack and making sure you have your purse on your shoulder again. he takes your hand and urges you to follow him towards the exit.

"but you were making alot here," you tell him, pouting your lips as you give him a saddened expression, 'we didn't have to leave. i'm sorry if i made you feel like you had to."

"hey, ma," chris says gently, grabbing your chin and lifting it up as he looked at you with a soft smile, "don' worry your pretty lil' head about that, 'kay? made more than enough. 'sides, i'm more worried 'bout my girl bein' comfortable when she's with me."

a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips at this, whilst chris affectionately runs his thumb across your cheek. "can we get somethin' to eat?"

"wherever you want, beautiful."

[mrs-gucci]

A Beach Day to Remember {Clyde Logan x Reader}

author’s notes: made it just under the wire for this week’s writer wednesday :) it’s a bit different from my usual writing MO, but I honestly had a blast with it and I’m decently pleased with how it turned out, actually. I wrote this late at night while I was half-asleep lol so sorry if it’s a little all over the place! thanks, as always, to @autumnleaves1991-blog for hosting & @clydesducktape​ for helping out! it’s such a great and fun weekly tradition!

warnings: fluff. humor. romance. beach fun. chair wrestling. a quick lil makeout session (nothing explicit). 

no tw’s :)

word count: 2.2k

clyde’s taglist peeps! @goddessofsprings​ my general taglist peeps!  @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1 @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka

By some miracle, you’d convinced born-and-raised country boy Clyde Logan to accompany you to Miami Beach for a week. A whole week, you couldn’t believe it. 

And...he actually bought a pair of swim trunks. Sure, they were a West Virginia Walmart buy, but hey, he bought a pair; you’ll take what you can get.

Who was this man and what has he done with Clyde Logan?

He’s never really been to the beach before, Mamma Logan didn’t like bein’ in the sun too long and Pappa wasn’t about to cross her, so this was his first time. 

Your family used to vacation here every year, so you were relatively familiar with the notoriously rowdy town. The first evening and night consisted of you showing a wide-eyed Clyde around Miami’s bustling night life. But, when the sun came up the next morning, he was revving to get down to the beach.

You had to talk him down a bit there at first, convincing him to eat somethin’ for breakfast before spending a whole entire day in the sun ‘cause if he passes out, he’s on his own getting back to the condo.

“I’m gon’ go get changed fer the beach!” He says excitedly, clapping his hands together and doing a little jog over to the dresser the second you two get back from your sidewalk cafe breakfast.

You smile at his enthusiasm, trying to remember the last time you saw him so openly excited and smiley. After only a few moments of thought, you realize that you’ve never seen him quite like this before. But, you’re certainly taking a liking to vacation Clyde.

Both Mellie and Jimmy requested plenty of photos of, and this is a direct quote, “Clyde’s long, pasty-ass legs in swim shorts”, and you’re nothing if not accommodating...

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom, you quickly say “Smile!” and snap a picture of him in his leaf-pattern hunter green trunks. He frowns, striding over to where you’re standing.

“Hey now pumpkin, who’re ya sendin’ that off to?”

You giggle, typing out his sibling’s contacts into your messages. “Nobody...”

His eyes widen when he sees Jimmy and Mellie’s names. He tries to grab the phone away from you, but as he takes it, his palm accidentally nudges the little ‘send’ icon. 

“G’damnit! I fuckin’ sent it to ‘em!”

You’re cracking up as he frantically tries to somehow un-send the message, despite you trying to repeatedly convince him that there’s literally nothing that can be done at this point; the message is permanent.

Almost immediately, the replies begin to pile in and Clyde quickly puts a hand over his face as your phone chimes continuously.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

“‘m never gonna hear the end ‘a this when we get back home.” He groans. “Now they got that picture forever and they’re never gonna stop showin’ it...Oh ma god, they’re gonna put it in our weddin’ slideshow, a-and our future kids ‘re gonna see it, and it’s gonna be shown at ma funeral...”

You laugh, shaking your head as you put your hands on his bare, freckle-painted chest. “Hon, I really wouldn’t worry that much about it. It’ll all blow over in a little bit, I promise. Plus, I now have evidence that you actually came to the beach with me. I have a feeling our future kids won’t believe me when I tell them this story someday.”

Clyde starts laughing, running his hands down the curve of your body before landing on your hips. He pulls you in for a kiss, moving his lips gently against yours.

Your face scrunches when he starts licking into your mouth and the bitter taste of zinc overwhelms your taste buds.

“Mmmm, mmm, Clyde?”

He pulls away, brows furrowed.

“Did you put some zinc on your lips?”

His cheeks turn pink and he looks away bashfully. “Oh, yeah, I did. ‘m sorry, I forgot ‘bout that.”

“It’s alright, no need to apologize.” You chuckle, shaking your head. “I love you.”

He smiles, placing a kiss on your forehead this time, rather than your lips.

“Love ya too, pumpkin.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clyde’s like a kid at a candy store when he gets down to the beach, quickly putting the cooler down on the sand and dropping his chair down next to it. The sunglasses sit just above the bridge of his zinc-whitened nose as his head moves around to drink in the sights unfolding before him.

You giggle to yourself as you watch him, setting your beach bag down with the cooler before beginning to set up your chair. But your man quickly jumps in and insists on unfolding the chair for you even though, as you’ll soon find out, he has zero idea how to operate a folding beach chair. To be fair, it was one of those older-fashioned ones that had sustained quite a bit of rust.

“Now, how in the world...?” He grumbles, trying to unfold the stubborn thing. He tries just about every method he could think up, at one point he was trying to use his flip-flop equipped foot to aid in the unfolding process, but he still cannot get the damn chair open.

Eventually, a curious (and very entertained) bystander comes over and helps the two of you out with your chairs, and both of you thank them profusely before finally beginning your day at the beach. Clyde remains standing, continuing to look around at all the things happening on the beach while you lay back and open your book to begin reading.

After a bit of sunning time, you and Clyde head down to the water. You keep your feet in the cool water while he stands further in, little waves crashing mid-calf. He finds a nice shell and runs up to put it back at your little setup while you stay and watch as the natural push and pull of the ocean slowly buries your feet in the sand.

Suddenly, a flesh arm comes on your back and a metallic arm scoops behind your knees, lifting you up as you squeal. 

“Clydeeee!”

He laughs, rushing into the water while holding you bridal-style, water splashing up all over both you and him with each of his massive strides. As soon as he knows he’s deep enough, he starts swinging you back and forth.

“One...Two...”

You’re in a fit of laughter, playfully hitting his chest. “Noooooo! Stooopppp!”

“Three!” Clyde tosses you into the blue-green water of the Atlantic as you screech, a big splash accompanying your collision with the surface.

You emerge a moment later, quickly rushing up and jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards into the water. He laughs when he resurfaces and splashes you in the face teasingly, to which you respond by doing the exact same thing.

“No more splashin’!” He says, chuckling to himself at the irony of his exclamation.

You laugh, splashing him one more time. “You’re the one that started it, you goof!”

“Now, let’s not play the blame game, pumpkin.” He smiles jokingly, then wraps his arms around your torso, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

Both of you spend a bit more time in the water before heading back up to your chairs to dry off in the sun and re-apply sunscreen. Clyde ends up falling asleep, a few shells he found in the water spread out on the top of his thighs as he snoozes.

Only about fifteen minutes later, you look over and put a hand over your mouth to cover the giggles that come when you see that one of the shells has sprouted some legs in preparation for an escape attempt. The creature begins crawling and he starts squirming a bit at the ticklish sensation, clearly beginning to re-awaken from his early afternoon slumber. 

When his eyes blink open and he looks down, he gasps, launching backwards in his chair. Unfortunately, the old-school beach chair already struggles to hold his massive form, so when he jumps back, the chair gives out and breaks clean in half, sending Clyde back into the sand. 

The poor crab is thrust into the sand, but it’s alright, quickly crawling back towards the ocean. You immediately stand up, trying not to laugh too hard until you know he’s completely alright. 

“Oh my fuck...Clyde! Are you okay, hon?”

He nods, chuckling softly. “’m alright, though I can’t say the same for this here chair, though.”

You giggle, helping him sit back up in the sand. When he’s fully sat up, he’s still smiling and laughing, shaking his head.

“Well, I suppose I owe the condo owners a new beach chair.”

--

A full, active day at the beach has you pretty fucking exhausted when you two finally head back up to the condo around four in the afternoon. You take a quick cat nap while Clyde showers, then you hop in and wash off the day’s sunscreen and sand.

While you’re in the shower, Clyde rifles through his duffle and pulls out a little velvet box, popping it open to expose the glittering diamond ring that sits on a little pillow. He smiles at the sight, knowing that tonight’s the night he’s finally gonna ask you to be his forever.

He’s been waiting for the right moment for a short while now, and after the fun y’all had at the beach today and the sunset beach walk he’s planning to take you on before your fancy dinner reservations later this evening...he can’t think of a more perfect time to do it.

You step out of the bathroom and Clyde scrambles to quickly tuck the ring box into his khaki pants pocket. He smooths his hands over the fabric before standing up, face breaking out into a wide smile when he sees the beautiful sundress you’ve got on.

“You’re so beautiful, pumpkin.” He says, smiling as he walks up to you, hands on your hips. “Always so, so beautiful.”

Your expression stretches into a bright, genuine smile as you get up on your tiptoes for a kiss. “Thank you, Clyde. You look awfully handsome yourself this evening.”

“Oh, well, thank ya, darlin’.” His cheeks grow red as he looks down for a moment, shoving his hands down in his pockets. “So, do ya wanna go on a sunset walk ‘fore our reservations?”

You agree, and the two of you head back down to the beach. His fingers fiddle with the little box in his pocket as you walk along the beach. Soon, you reach an old lifeguards stand, painted in brilliant mint green and flamingo pink colors. The ‘No Lifeguard on Duty’ paint is still visible, even after some seeming wear and tear to the outside of the building. 

The sun’s touching down on the horizon line as he guides you up onto the old structure’s small front deck, and you lean over the railing together as the sun sinks down. 

Your head turns to look over at your beloved boyfriend, admiring the way the sherbet sky reflects off of and compliments his alabaster skin. God he’s beautiful, you think to yourself for what has to be the millionth time in your three years of dating Clyde. He’ll forever be the most beautiful man in your eyes.

He turns to you then, standing up with a shaky hand reaching out to take yours. “Uh, Y/N, there’s somethin’...somethin’ I wanna do ‘fore we head off to dinner.”

You nod, eyebrows furrowing.

“Sure, hon. Are you alright, though? You’re shaking a bit.”

“’m alright, pumpkin.”

Clyde nods and then, he sinks down onto one knee, wobbling a bit as he adjusts to the new position. He steadies shortly after and then, he pulls the box out of his pocket and opens it up, exposing the ring he spent hours picking out for you.

You’re in shock, hands over your mouth as he smiles up at you, tears already forming in his eyes.

“Y/N, I-I knew when I first met ya that you were gon’ be the woman I wanted to s...spend the rest of ma life with. Y-Yer so funny ‘n kind ‘n so, so beautiful; yer just...yer perfect, p-pumpkin.”

You feel the tears beginning to spill out of the corners of your eyes as he continues, tears now running down his cheeks as well.

“I love y-ya more than life itself, Y/N, an’ I...I wanna spend the rest of ma livin’ days on this planet by yer side. Will ya...will ya marry me?”

Time seems to stand still for Clyde, then, his nerves overwhelming and overtaking his entire being. The seconds between his final word and your response are some of the longest and most anxious seconds of his life, but damnit, they were well worth it.

“Yes, Clyde, yes. O-Of course I’ll marry you.” You say, smiling as he stands to pull you in for a passionate kiss.

He’s overjoyed, really, heart racing but in the best possible way. You said yes. You’re gonna be his wife, his Mrs. Logan.

“God, I love ya.” Clyde whispers against your lips, pulling the ring from its place on the delicate pillow. “I love ya so, so much, Y/N.”

“I love you t-too, Clyde.” You smile, holding your left hand out for him to slip the ring onto your finger. It’s a perfect fit, and you immediately pull him in for a hug. “I can’t wait to marry you, hon, can’t wait to become Mrs. Logan.”

He grins widely, pressing another few kisses onto your lips.

“Mrs. Y/N Logan, ma beautiful wife, ma forever partner.”

You nod, sniffling softly.

“Your forever partner.”

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

I loveeee all the songs u chose for Tim!!! Can u maybe do a post or smth explaining why cus it’s so interesting seeing the choice behind these songs

Hi yes I can!! I’m not gonna do all of them here (I can def do the rest if you’d like!!) bc that’s just a Lot all at once lol. Also I might have typos and I apologize but dkjsfhakh I have bandaids on my fingers and it’s hard to type :^/

Disclaimer: some of these songs fit a lot better than other ones

Hard Times by Paramore

I chose this song bc it’s abbout being sad, but the tone is upbeat and happy. Something I’ve noticed abt Tim is that he is (usually) functionally depressed. Like, I read an article about high functioning depression, and it said that a lot of people who have it have a hole in their life – that they can have a job (and Tim does, being either CEO or Red Robin or both), a partner (who I like to think of as Kon), and be part of a family, maintaining this happy/upeat facade, but if you ask them what they do for fun…they usually can’t answer that. And I don’t think Tim can. When he was younger, he could, but what now? 

Fave Lyric: “Walking around / With my little rain cloud / Hanging over my head/ And it ain’t coming down / Where do I go? / Gimme some sort of sign / You hit me with lightning! / Maybe I’ll come alive”

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

I chose this bc I can picture Tim, during a low moment like when Kon or Bruce died, just falling apart and thinking he’s not going to survive it, isn’t strong enough, had something to do with their deaths happening,,, etc. Also there’s a line that references anxiety and like lmao that’s Tim!

Fave Lyric: “Tremble for yourself, my man, / You know that you have seen this all before / Tremble, little lion man, / You’ll never settle any of your scores / Your grace is wasted in your face, / Your boldness stands alone among the wreck / Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck”

Heroes (we could be) by Alesso feat. Tove Lo

I chose this bc Tim needed a happy song and also because this has such Young Justice vibes !!!! This is Tim and his friends having fun, roaming around, kicking bad guy ass together!! Actually upon looking at the lyrics again, it’s both YJ and Batman & Robin. It just encompasses Tim’s early days of being a hero I think, the happy carefree nature and the bravery and the hope

Fave Lyric: “Everyday people do everyday things but I / Can’t be one of them / I know you hear me now, we are a different kind / We can do anything”

Burn The House Down by AJR

Tbh I mostly chose this bc its a bop and I think he would sing along to it. BUT I also think this kind of represents his life as a public figure/celeb??? And if I wanna go even further, I think it could represent him when he’s older and more confident, with a better self esteem and maybe a lil less depressed (which I hope is in the cards for his future). Also it talks about lying a lot???? I’m sorry, I don’t have a good analysis for this one lmao

Fave Lyric: “Way up way up we go / Been up and down that road / Way up way up, oh no / We gon’ burn the whole house down / Watch me stand in the line / You’re only serving lies / You’ve got something to hide / We gon’ burn the whole house down”

Don’t Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers feat. Daya

I chose this bc it reminded me of Tim and Dick. I’m of the opinion that Tim getting fired from Robin was the right choice and that Dick wasn’t being cruel or anything like that at all, but I also think that Tim probably saw it that way which is valid. So it’s like, to him, Dick was his big brother who was basically always there for him, and then suddenly… he’s not. And everything else going on in his life starts to suck dramatically, and not having his big brother makes it worse, and he feels betrayed. Meanwhile Dick really is on his side, life is just also terrible for him too so they can’t be as close as they were when Tim was Robin. It can also be about Bruce or Kon tbh – just, wanting one of them to be there and they’re not.

Fave Lyric: “Crashing, hit a wall / Right now I need a miracle / Hurry up now, I need a miracle / Stranded, reaching out / I call your name but you’re not around”

More under the cut!!

Don’t Play by Halsey

This…. I chose this bc I really love the celebrity versions of the Bats, and also how competent Tim can be, and this song brings both of those together. Lol this could also be like…what other people think the Bats/Tim think like?? “Don’t play with me, I’m rich and will fuck you up” kinda thing. This is one of the ones that fits less well than the others but I still get Tim vibes from it so I’m keeping it

Fave Lyric: “Tryna take back what you say to me / I don’t give a damn what you say to me / There ain’t no time for games with me”

Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray

I get the feeling that after bad shit happens to Tim, he feels the way this song shows. I haven’t read much YJ so I can’t be sure, but I get the feeling that Tim, no matter what the truth is, feels like he’s alone and there’s no one who will help him. Obviously that can be tied back to his childhood and how he had to take care of himself, and so when there are people who actually do wanna help him he doesn’t see it?? And he’s down on himself so he’s probably thinking “they don’t want to help me, and I can’t blame them”

Fave Lyric: “But that’s how it’s got to be / It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy / I’d rather run the other way than stay and see / The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears” 

Icarus by Bastille

Okay not so much the drinking aspect of this song but EVERYTHING ELSE. I even used one of the lyrics for a fic title. Basically my thoughts here are: 1) everyone looks to the Robins and sees how much they do and it’s just A Lot, 2) Tim knows Jason died and so he probably thinks that’s in his future too even if Dick survived, and 3) Tim is doing a lot and feeling a lot and trying to protect himself and his feelings, which is hard work especially for someone so young

Fave Lyric: “Living beyond your years / Acting out all their fears / You feel it in your chest”

Needed Me by Rihanna

Again,,,, the Competence. I love that shit. I love BAMF!Bats, and tbh I think this could apply to more than just Tim, but I picked it for him bc of the first lyric!! This is also one of those ones that doesn’t fit super well but djkhfjkdshah I think this could really fit an AU Tim where he’s like. More morally gray. Not necessarily a bad guy but just more confident, more arrogant maybe, and more jaded from the hero-ing life

Fave Lyric: “I was good on my own, that’s the way it was, that’s the way it was / You was good on the low for a faded fuck, on some faded love / Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? / Feeling jaded, huh?”

What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

Okay I think this fits a lot of different things: his actions after Kon’s death, his and Damian’s relationship, the lies he’s told (to ppl like Steph, his dad, Tam?), his relationship with Bruce maybe?? I can also see it as him thinking on who he was as a kid – a stalker basically lmao, but ultimately harmless – versus who he is now – a skilled vigilante who’s definitely not harmless. Stark difference there. Also he’s forgiving himself, which is something I think is important for somebody with a low self view

Fave Lyric: “In this farewell / There’s no blood / There’s no alibi / ‘Cause I’ve drawn regret / From the truth / Of a thousand lies”

Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato

I chose this because I think Tim is fucked up by the neglect he suffered in his childhood. I think parts of this song can be directed at his parents, the Batfam, his partner(s). He’s afraid that they’ll leave him and he needs the reassurance. Whether or not he gets it is another matter but kdsjfjkdsah. Really, I think this is all just what he’s thinking, and NOT what he’s saying. He needs the reassurance, yes, but he’s not actually asking for it because he doesn’t know how

Fave Lyric: “Bad at love, no, I’m not good at this”

bellyache by Billie Eilish

When I first added this to his playlist I somehow didn’t realize it was about a murderer but dkjfhkjshjkah whatever I’m keeping it. Let’s just go with this is a song about being fucked up (in whatever sense u wanna take that as) and it’s not happy? But like the first one, it’s upbeat and positive. I think the happy sound hiding the less pretty truth is something that explains Tim a lot. Also its a bop and he might sing along to it

Fave Lyric: “Everything I do / The way I wear my noose / Like a necklace / I wanna make ‘em scared / Like I could be anywhere / Like I’m reckless”

Migraine by Twenty One Pilots

Just Another Song About Tim’s Abysmal Mental Health

Fave Lyric: “Behind my eyelids are islands of violence / My mind ship-wrecked / This is the only land my mind could find / I did not know it was such a violent island / Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions / They’re trying to eat me, blood running down their chin / And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win / I begin to assemble what weapons I can find / 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind”

Fake Love by Drake

I hate Drake but kjdsfkjdsfhajh this goes back to a few things. His celebrity and how he’s seen/treated differently by others because of it, his low self view and the paranoia that people aren’t really there for him no matter what the truth might be, how he sees things others wouldn’t, his relationships with people like Damian and Bruce. I think he’s more forgiving than this song would imply, so maybe this is also for that AU Tim I mentioned above???

Fave Lyric: “I’ve been down so long it look like up to me / They look up to me / I got fake people showin’ fake love to me / Straight up to my face, straight up to my face”

Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish

TIMKON TIMKON TIMKON. Post Kon’s death TimKon and Tim is grieving and trying to forget bc it’s so painful!!!!!!

Fave Lyric: “Our love is six feet under / I can’t help but wonder / If our grave was watered by the rain / Would roses bloom? / Could roses bloom / Again?”

Flaws by Bastille

Idek, I feel like this could be how he could view his relationship with Steph, Cass, Damian, Bart, Dick??? Anyone? Just feeling like he hides his flaws and how he feels, and they don’t really (or at least, he thinks they don’t), and he likes that.

Fave Lyric: “There’s a hole in my soul / I can’t fill it, I can’t fill it / There’s a hole in my soul / Can you fill it? Can you fill it?”

do re mi by blackbear

I’m mostly joking when I say this but this is how he feels about Ra’s al Ghul. It doesn’t fit exactly, bc Tim and Ra’s were NOT together ever at any point, but this song is about being annoyed by someone you have a history with and wishing you’d never known them. Which is how I feel Tim should feel about Ra’s. lol

Fave Lyric: “If I could go back to that day we met / I probably would’ve stayed in bed / You wake up everyday and make me feel like I’m incompetent”

Bored by Billie Eilish

I really think this is Tim talking to his parents. Like, when he’s a kid, or when he’s older and looking back, he’s thinking “I did everything I could, it wasn’t enough, and I know it’s not fair but I can’t do anything about it.” I think this song is supposed to be romantic but I’ve never heard it that way skdjfkjsdhakjh I just always think about Tim, home alone and thinking about his parents.

Fave Lyric: “I’m not afraid anymore / What makes you sure you’re all I need? / Forget about it / When you walk out the door and leave me torn / You’re teaching me to live without it / Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored”

Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore

This one is like… everyone else seems to have an easier time being optimistic and positive than Tim does, in his mind. Idk I don’t have much to say kdsjfhsdjkah

Fave Lyric: “Hearts are breaking, wars are raging on / And I have taken my glasses off / You got me nervous / I’m right at the end of my rope / A half-empty girl / Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke”

King of the Clouds by Panic! At The Disco

This is mostly because it’s a bop and Tim would like it. But also…this is a song about dimensional travel (apparently) and having ambitions that seem lofty, both of which I think Tim can definitely understand!! 

Fave Lyric: “And when I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes / In the backbone of night, I’m combustible / Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired / This old world, this old world”

[injusticeff]

Chapter Twenty-Nine

***4 years later***

Simone

“But mom, she’s putting my toy in her mouth!” I heard Junior frantically call out to me as my eyes averted to the rear view mirror to look at the both of them sitting in the back seat.

Xae snickered from the driver’s seat beside me causing me to do the same which only angered Junior even more since we weren’t taking him as seriously as he wanted to be taken. “Junior, your sister’s only a baby. You did the same thing when you were two.”

“Yea, but to my own toys.” He retorted back in a defeated tone, knowing that he just wasn’t going to win this one. He took one last glance over at his now slobber filled toy before letting out an annoyed huff and turning his head to look out of the window instead. "Whatever, she can have it."

Xae attempted to hold in his laughter as he took a quick glance behind him to look at Junior before swiftly focusing his attention back on the road in front of him. "How about I get you a new toy lil man—a better one."

"Really?!" My eight year old's face instantly lit up at the mention of something brand new and not covered in his sister's saliva. "Anything I want?"

Xae nodded in response, keeping his eyes in front of him as he drove. "Yup, anything you want. Just make sure your sister doesn't get ahold of this one."

"I won't. Thanks dad!" Junior replied with a giddy smile on his face, completely forgetting about the toy that he had been complaining about not even two minutes prior.

A wide smile spread across my face at the sight of Junior's excited expression. My eyes soon averted over to Xae as I grabbed his hand and interlocked our fingers, bringing the back of his hand up to my lips before pressing a soft kiss against his caramel toned skin. I loved when he took the initiative and treated Junior as if he was his child, even after we had a baby of our own. He could have started neglecting Junior since he now had a kid that shared his DNA, but it was like Xae didn't even miss a beat. It made it that much easier for Junior to accept him as part of our family at first, although my son knew who his real father was.

"I love you." I mumbled against his soft skin causing his hand to give mine a comforting squeeze as he glanced over at me in admiration.

He flashed me a quick smile as he replied with those same words, the passion in them still as evident as the first time that we told each other we loved one another. The drive from then on was filled with content silence as our family maneuvered through traffic and the radio played lowly in the background.

Today was a routine for our family. Every Sunday, we'd visit the cemetery and speak to our deceased loved ones. Just to feel like we were still connected to and could communicate with them somehow.

We all hopped out of the car with Xae unstrapping our daughter, Tiara, from her car seat where she had been sleeping peacefully. We named her after Tiarra, of course. Although we weren't close, I took her murder a bit harder than I thought I would and since I wasn't able to make it to her funeral, I figured it was the least I could do. Though, Xae and I decided to spell our daughter's name differently because I wanted her to be the opposite of my older sister; a true queen with a name fit for what belonged atop her head.

Tiara was the beautiful baby girl from our dreams. And nothing at all how I expected her to be. I finally understood those terrible two stages that mothers were always talking about.

"Baby, I'm gon' take Tiara to go see my grandmother. I'll meet y'all back here in ten and if y'all are even a second late, I'm calling the police." Xae unknowingly interrupted my train of thought as he held a fast asleep Tiara, earning a light giggle from me in response. Protective wasn't even the word for how Xavier was when it came to our family. After experiencing people breaking into and hurting him in his own home, he vowed never to let it happen again. Especially not while his family was inside. Over his dead body.

"Alright, I love you." I replied lovingly as I leaned into him, puckering my lips up for a kiss. He tried to fight the smile that was daring to form on his face but couldn't as the butterflies that were still in my stomach every time I laid eyes on him was surely still in his.

He pressed his lips against mine softly, his hand cupping my cheek as I melted into his embrace. Every time still felt like the first time that we kissed; passionate and electrifying.

"Mom! Dad! Ew!" Junior abruptly called out, ultimately pulling both Xae and I away from each other as we laughed at his disgusted expression. He was still at that age where he thought girls were disgusting and just wanted to play video games all day long.

"I'll see you in ten." I added as I started toward Junior causing him to turn and start our walk through the small cemetery.

It didn't take long before we reached the tombstone marked Dominick Anderson, 1992-2016.

He had committed suicide about a year into his sentence. That's what the police informed me, at least. The Dominick I knew would harm anyone other than himself. Junior was young when it happened so I didn't think he really understood the concept of death. Hell, I wasn't even sure if he did now. He just knew that his father was gone and he would never be able to see him again. It was hard to explain to a child because they had so many questions that you just didn't know how to answer.

"Hey dad!" Junior called out as we approached the gravesite. "Guess what? I made the basketball team at my school. Now watch me be the next MJ. Swish!" He stepped back, tossing an imaginary ball into the air causing me to giggle at his antics. That was the thing he was most excited about this school year.

"That's right and I'm so proud of him. You should see him out there." I added as I pulled my son into me making him immediately toss his arm around me in return. I always spoke to Dom right along with Junior so that he would never feel like he was going through this by himself. I would always be right by his side, no matter what his sadistic father did to me and the people I loved.

I wasn't sure if I should ever tell Junior all of the crazy things that Dominick did while he was alive and why he ended up in prison in the first place. I was certain once he truly understood, the questions would come flooding in anyway but that just wasn't something that was easy to admit to a person in general.

Junior playfully began pushing my embrace away with the smack of his lips. "Nuh uh, she won't even get me those new Jordan's that just came out."

"Boy, that's because them shoes were over a hundred dollars and your feet are still growing a mile a minute. You must be crazy." I retorted back causing him to wave me off with a slight chuckle and continue his conversation with his father.

Things were so different and peaceful now that Dom had passed. Sometimes, I had to take a step back and appreciate moments like these.

***

My head rested comfortably on Xae's chest as his arm laid over my body protectively. I allowed my fingers to trace light circles against his skin while I stared ahead at Tiara's crib that was pressed up against the wall in front of me. The sound of his heartbeat serenaded my ears and his slow breathing had also caused me to relax a bit more.

It was nearing three in the morning and for some reason, I couldn't sleep for the life of me.

There was something nagging at me but I couldn't figure it out. Nights like these were rare but they happened every so often. Usually some tea or hot cocoa would warm my body and do the trick in helping me fall asleep so after a while of not being able to fall asleep on my own, I decided to make just that.

I carefully slipped out of Xae's hold causing him to stir a bit but ultimately settle back into his deep slumber. Grabbing my silk robe from my closet, I accompanied it with some comfortable fuzzy slides and began to make my way towards the kitchen to start boiling the water for my tea.

As I passed Junior's room, I could hear faint sniffling coming from inside making my head instantly jerk back. It was late and usually, my son would be knocked out—slobbering and all.

I gave his room door a gentle shove as my fingers immediately reached for the light switch, flipping his light on. His head instantly snapped up in my direction allowing me to get a good look at his tear stained face. It broke my heart into pieces just to see him hurting. "Aw, baby. What's wrong?"

My feet carried me over towards his bed and I sat down beside him before enveloping him into a light embrace, my hands rubbing small circles onto his back.

"I had a bad dream. Me and dad went to the fair together and we were playing games and having fun." He paused for a bit as I remained quiet, allowing him to continue whenever he was ready. "There were so many people and they kept pushing me and when I turned around, dad was gone. He left me in my dream just like he left me in real life. He doesn't even wanna be with me in my dreams." Junior shook his head in disappointment.

At that moment, I realized he was talking about Dominick and not Xae. My chest ached as I stared down at my son's heartbroken face, unsure of what else to do except hug him tighter. "Baby, your father was battling a lot of demons and was gonna be in prison for a long time. He just couldn't handle that. It had nothing to do with you, he loved you with all his heart."

And that was the truth. If Dom wasn't anything, he was a good father when he was around his son. They were like two peas in a pod when they were together.

"But didn't he think about not being able to see me anymore? He ain't even think about me." His head hung low as it shook from side to side in sorrow.

I sighed, not knowing how in the world to respond without making Dom sound like the selfish man that he actually was. The last thing I wanted was for Junior to see him as a monster. There was no telling what kind of trauma the truth would cause. As far as he knew, all he saw was love from the both of us when we were all together. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

He nodded in response before lifting up his covers, signaling for me to get underneath them. My teeth grazed my bottom lip a bit before I quickly stood to my feet. "Hold on." I swiftly made my way over to my phone, opening up my safari app and going to the shoe website that Junior had excitedly shown me the previous week. The shoes he wanted were one of the first on the web page since I had viewed it previously.

Without a second thought, I purchased the sneakers he wanted and had them shipped to our home. I decided against telling him now and just chose to surprise him whenever the shoes came.

Heading back over to the bed, I slid beneath the covers and Junior automatically threw his arm over me protectively as he snuggled into my side. My body responded by pulling him closer to me as a small smile graced my face at the love that was radiating off of him. We had a bond that was unbreakable.

Within minutes, I was dozing off into a comfortable slumber with my son wrapped up in my arms.

Bree

I stepped into the doctor’s office with an anxious sigh, far from ready for them to be face-to-face with me as they would at any given second.

Looking around the room without purpose, my feet swung back and forth as I sat on the elevated seat in the middle of the room. Just sitting there alone and with my thoughts was enough to have me going crazy, coming up with all types of scenarios in my head as to why my OB/GYN had called me back in a week after my annual checkup.

I could only think of the worst. I mean, it was hard not to when they refused to tell me anything over the phone. But nothing felt wrong so I had no clue what it could be.

The only person I had been having sex with was Antonio. We started dating not too long after I moved in. He was an active father and was there for me through every step of the way during my pregnancy with our son, Javier. Since it wasn't supposed to be possible for me to have children in the first place, my pregnancy underwent many complications which meant countless hospital visits and sleepless nights. Javier and seeing Antonio's love for him was the only thing that made it worth while.

Javier was born premature and Antonio decided to take one month off from managing his restaurant to be with me through the entire process. Without me even having to ask.

I found myself smiling just thinking back on it. Antonio and I's relationship definitely wasn't perfect but we made it work for the sake of our child and that, I could always commend us on.

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sound of the heavy wooden door swinging open, followed by my gynecologist stepping inside of the room right after. She was a sweet lady in her mid-thirties that never failed to make me feel as comfortable as possible whenever I was in her care. It was why although she was transferred to a farther location a few months ago, I had no problem going out of my way so she could continue being my doctor.

"Hello, Bree." She immediately welcomed me with a warm smile causing me to flash her one in return. Her voice was smooth like honey.

I had preferred she called me by my first name since I had taken Antonio's last one about a year after our son was born. Things were going so well and we wanted to make things official and be a real family. Though, sometimes I didn't like hearing his last name at the end of mine. Times like this where I was questioning our relationship entirely.

"Hi, Mrs. Rozario. How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing well." She shut the room door behind her and set the manila folder that resided in her hands down onto the desk that sat in the corner of the room. "So, I'm aware that you came in for your annual check up a couple weeks ago, correct?"

I nodded in response, letting her know that what she had stated was right. "Yes, is something wrong? They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone."

She gave me an uncertain look as she sat down on a stool seated near the desk she had previously placed the folder on. "Well, your results came back." She spoke as she swung the folder open, reviewing over the contents of the paperwork that sat inside. "I'm sorry to say this so bluntly, but you tested positive for Human papilloma virus otherwise known as HPV. Now, have you had unprotected sex with anyone in the last six months?"

The shocked expression was evident on my face as I began to stumble over my own words. "No. I mean—just my child's father. My husband." It felt a bit forced to even say that but she had to know that I wasn't just out there like that. "I don't understand. I don't have any symptoms."

"Well, many people that have HPV don't develop any symptoms other than occasional genital warts. And you haven't spotted any of those forming around your vagina or the surrounding areas?" She asked as her pen moved a mile a minute against the paperwork she had been looking over.

My heart fell to the pit of my stomach at just the thought of Antonio cheating on me. I knew we didn't have the best relationship but I thought we had enough respect for each other not to step out. I didn't want to believe it. "No, I don't think so. Is it curable?" My chest began to flutter almost immediately after asking the question. A part of me didn't want to know the answer.

"I'm sorry Bree, but Human papilloma virus is not curable but there are treatments to remove the warts if you ever come across some forming. Other than that, you must protect yourself and your partner during intercourse from now on."

She continued to explain some things to me but I completely zoned her out as tears threatened to spill from my eyes, the gravity of the situation hitting me all at once. In a blink of an eye, I was now living with an incurable disease and it was all thanks to Antonio. He had not only stepped out on me, but brought something back to me as well and that alone had my blood boiling.

He had no care or remorse for my health or my feelings.

The remainder of my appointment was a blur and I was completely zoned out as I drove back home, unknowing of how I should react once I actually saw his face. I wanted to hurt him for putting me through this. I wanted to make him feel the pain I felt.

My vision was cloudy as I pulled into the driveway, instantly rolling my eyes as I noticed the car that sat out front. As I neared the front door, I could clearly hear angry screaming and things being thrown around inside the house. There wasn't a time where they weren't like this and it was beginning to get a bit annoying.

I sighed as I pushed the door open, stepping inside only for the yelling match to become louder and more evident on what the reasoning for it all was.

"No!!" I heard her voice yell out from what I assumed to be the kitchen. "I'm sick and tired of you treating your daughter like she doesn't even exist while you're over here giving your son and that puta everything. It's not fair to me or her!" Serina screamed out which immediately made me even more livid. I wasn't in the mood for her or her antics today.

After the first time they had sex, Serina had gotten pregnant with Antonio's baby causing us to basically go through our pregnancy at the same time. She was the epitome of baby mama drama and if I didn't have a child with Antonio already, I wouldn't have wanted any parts.

Making my way to the kitchen, I cleared my throat to make myself known causing both Ant and Serina to snap their heads in my direction. She instantly scoffed and mumbled something under her breath before looking at Antonio expectantly. "Well? Don't act like you weren't about to disregard everything I was saying just to cater to her now that she's here. You know what? I'm over it Antonio. If you don't wanna be in your daughter's life, that's on you."

"Chill. No one said that I didn't wanna be in her life. I love Alianna with everything in me but you're expecting me to spend every waking moment with y'all when you know I have other responsibilities too." He responded in a calmer tone than they were using before, attempting to lighten the mood now that I was in their presence.

"Oh really?" She scoffed again as she placed a hand on her hip. "Responsibilities like what? Catering to this bitch right here?!" Serina threw her hand my way, gesturing towards me without even a glance in my direction.

And that was the last straw. "Yes, bitch, damn! You're mad because he's not paying you no attention. Newsflash sis, he never wanted your ass to begin with so get out of our house with the disrespectful shit and you!" I turned towards Antonio causing him to widen his eyes, not expecting things to be turned back on him. "How dare you continue to allow this broad to come in your house and disrespect your wife. Grow some fucking cajones you spineless fucking bastard."

They both looked shocked at how bad I was seething and honestly, I was a bit surprised at myself too since I rarely ever blew up like that but after the news I had just received, I was over being nice. "Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time to leave our home because I'm trying to have a conversation with my husband in peace."

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of the both of us." She responded as she folded her arms across her chest, only making me more angry by the second.

My attention averted from her back over to Antonio as I glared at him with an expectant look. "Antonio. Get her ass out of here because I'm really about to chew the both of y'all out."

"Man, you remember last time I tried to put her ass out. She was screaming and carrying on about how I was man handling her, threatening to call the cops. I don't need a scene like that right now, Bree."

I looked at him as if he had three heads. "I don't give a fuck what you don't want! I didn't wanna catch HPV from your lying, dirty, dog ass but here I am!" I screamed at him, unable to hold back any longer. In all honesty, I was hurt that he would do that to me and it was probably with the bitch standing in front of me in the first place.

"Oop." Serina immediately began to gather her things, trying to contain the laugh she was so evidently holding in. "Well, that's my cue." She brushed passed me with a teasing smirk as I glared at her the entire way out.

When I turned back to Antonio, I can tell he was speechless by my revelation but he didn't look an ounce bit surprised and that alone turned the rest of my hurt into pure anger. I waited until I heard the door shut before I decided to continue. "How could you do this to me, Ant? I mean, why marry me if all you're gonna do is fuck around? You're fucking dirty and you don't deserve me or your son."

"So, you're gonna try and take my son away from me because we're having problems?" He responded almost as if he had the right to be upset with me.

"No, YOU have the problem. I wasn't the one out sticking my dick in infected bitches and bringing that shit back home!" I yelled in his face, only growing more heated the more that I thought about the situation. This was something I would never be able to rid myself of.

Antonio smacked his lips in response. "Well, maybe if you were a better wife, I wouldn't be out getting my needs met by your friend, Cecilia, now would I?"

His words immediately halted me in my tracks as I stared at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher whether or not he was serious about knowingly sleeping with my friend.

But the smug smirk on his face told it all.

And then I saw red. I was so tired of everything he had put me through. It was as if I blinked and a sharp kitchen knife had suddenly presented itself in my hand as I shoved the object in and out of his abdomen repeatedly, seemingly unable to stop myself.

Blood splattered all over my hands and lower half as his body soon became limp and fell to the ground with a loud thud. But I couldn't stop. I just kept stabbing him and stabbing him until I could feel my anger physically expel from my body simultaneously.

A natural high overcame my body but I immediately came down from it once I realized what I had done.

Xae

“Babe, you want something from the store?” Simone called up to me from downstairs as I heard a bit of rustling coming from down there, most likely Junior putting on his shoes and jacket.

Instead of yelling back down to her, I decided to get up and make my way down the stairs where, sure enough, Simone and Junior were getting ready to leave. Tiara was staying at home with me since it was a bit cold out and we didn't want to take her out too much unless it was needed.

As I neared Simone, my arms immediately snaked around her waist as I admired her natural beauty with hooded eyes. I wasn't going to lie, a nigga was slick in the mood but adulting consisted of having to wait for the perfect time to do those things. In other words, when the kids were asleep.

"Yea, you know those boxes of spicy Jamaican beef patties? I've been wanting some for a while." I pretended to think for a split second. "Oh, and lemme get a lil' bit of you too."

Her eyebrow raised as a small smirk began to form on her face and she closed the space between her body and mine. "A little bit of me, huh?"

One of her hands found themselves cupping my cheek before she leaned up, softly pressing her lips against mine. I didn't hesitate to return the favor as our lips moved in sync together, our tongues somehow adding themselves to the mix after a couple seconds of light pecks. Every time I kissed this woman was like the first time I kissed her; the day everything I knew turned out to be a lie. But she remained the same and there through it all.

"Mom. Dad. Please." We suddenly heard Junior sigh in annoyance causing us to break away with a light chuckle. When I looked down at him, he was looking back up at us while shaking his head in pure disgust.

"What? So you get to kiss your mama but I don't?" I teased, my arms still resting securely around her waist. "Not fair."

He shrugged slightly. "You can kiss her on the cheek like I do. All that is unnecessary."

Simone immediately bent down so that she was face to face with our son as she held her hand out for him to high five, which he did proudly. "Good use of that word, baby. You're so smart." The eight-year-old cheesed at his mother's compliment. A definite mama's boy to the tee.

A low snicker came from me as I also held my hand out for him to slap. "You'll understand when you're older why her cheek just isn't enough for me sometimes."

Simone gave me a playfully knowing look as she lightly hit my arm. She wasn't ready to give him 'the talk' about girls and things of that sort just yet. He was still young and we decided to wait until he at least hit his teens or preteens to even bring a subject like that up. As far as we knew, Junior still thought girls his age had cooties and Simone was content with that.

"Is that all you want?" She turned her attention back over to me causing me to nod in response. We still had pretty much a lot of food to eat in our kitchen now, we had just ran out of the basic necessities such as bread and milk so she didn't need to buy out the whole store. Plus, I wanted her to hurry up and come back home to me anyway. "Ok, I'll be back in a few. I love you."

We shared another light peck before I walked both her and Junior to the front door, swinging it open for them soon after. "I love y'all too. Be safe out there and make sure you text me when you make it there."

I wasn't going to lie and say that I wasn't still a bit paranoid from the events that happened all those years ago. A near death experience could do that to you but for me, it wasn't about being in control. I just wanted to know they made it safely to where they needed to go and if I didn't receive a text or call, I would know something was wrong right away. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was ever too late to make it to any of them.

A light smile graced my face as I watched them get seated in the car for a couple of seconds before shutting the door behind me once I saw them pull off. Tiara was up in our room sleeping when I had first came downstairs so I decided to wait half an hour before I went up and checked on her again. That girl loved her sleep and waking her up out of it would be hell for anyone that tried.

I wasn't even able to reach the living room couch before hearing frantic knocking coming from my front door. Quickly rushing to answer, I swung the door open praying that Simone and Junior hadn't gotten into any trouble that fast but immediately froze instead.

My eyes traveled downwards then back up to her face in pure disbelief. I couldn't quite make out what I was looking at, but I could tell that it was nothing good at all. "What you doing here?" Was all that could manage to slip from my mouth. Not even a 'what happened' or 'are you ok' could form because there was something in me telling me that I didn't want to know the answers to those questions.

Bree immediately barged in, nearly shoving me to the side altogether as she began pacing the floor back and forth repeatedly. Almost every inch of her was covered in what seemed to be dried up blood and her eyes looked as if they hadn't stopped shedding tears in hours. There were a million questions I wanted to ask but didn't at the same time.

"Bree, what are you doing here?" I repeated myself, being sure not to step too close to her. My front door remained open behind me up until she rushed over to it and slammed it shut before sinking down to the floor, her head buried in her hands.

Tiara's loud cries instantly filled the house causing me to sigh, realizing the loud noise from the door closing most likely woke her up. Quickly rushing up the stairs to grab her from her crib, I made my way back down to see Bree still sitting in the same spot I left her. Only this time, she was rocking back and forth.

I rocked my daughter on my hip as she laid her head down on my shoulder, still a bit fussy from being woken up out of her sleep but more calm since she was now in my arms. Bree slowly looked up at the both of us, a bit surprised to see a baby on my hip I presumed.

She slowly made her way back up to her feet and eyed the both of us down quietly. I was beginning to feel a bit uneasy with her presence as a whole. It didn't feel right to have her in here, especially while Simone was gone.

"Is she yours?" She finally broke her silence. The pettiness in me wanted to say that she was the only person who would put a child on a man that wasn't the father, but I just nodded instead. Bree looked back over to Tiara with a small smile, looking almost as if she wanted to hold her and mother her herself.

But her smile instantly fell as the empty look she arrived here with soon took over once again. "I'm never gonna be able to see my son again now. And because of me he's gonna be put into the system." More tears began to pool from her eyes and I couldn't do anything but stare at her. Not an ounce in me wanted to comfort her in this moment; I just wanted to know why she showed up here.

"Wait, why wouldn't you be able to see your son again? Where is he? And where's Antonio—"

"He's dead!" She quickly cut me off at the mention of his name as her head sunk down until she was staring ahead at her feet. "...I did it—I killed him."

A hardy laugh immediately escaped my lips. Bree might have been a lot of things but a cold hearted killer wasn't one of them. I just couldn't bring myself to believe that the tiny girl in front of me actually had the gall to take someone else's life. Especially the father of her child.

But when she looked up at me without a hint of laughter in her expression, I knew she had to be serious. "Wait, you're for real?"

"Yes, Xae. Please, you have to help me!" She took a couple of steps closer to me but I instantly moved back, looking at her as if she needed to be checked into a mental hospital.

"Help you?" I mimicked her tone of voice unintentionally. "Bree, how the fuck am I supposed to help you? You killed someone! Then you're gonna have the audacity to bring this bullshit back to me and my family. No, I'm not helping you. And how dare you even ask me that in front of my daughter."

She sighed, attempting to hide the fact that she rolled her eyes but failing miserably. "It's not like she can understand what I'm saying. Please, Xae. I don't have anyone else."

"No!" I reiterated more sternly this time. "I'm not doing anything. Matter of fact, you ain't even come over here and tell me this shit. You need to leave now. I won't turn you in or nothing but you needa get far away from my house and never contact me again. You're gonna have to handle the decisions you made on your own."

The painful expression on her face only deepened as she nodded her head and began making her way back towards the direction she came. I could tell she was hurt by my bluntness but her problems didn't involve me anymore and neither did her drama. I was finally happy and I couldn't let something that had nothing to do with me mess that up.

She left without another word and thankfully she headed out when she did because not too long afterwards, Simone and Junior had pulled back up from the store. I wasn't sure how Simone would have reacted seeing Bree after four years of never hearing about her and I didn't want to know either.

But there was no way I was about to hide what just happened from her either so as soon as they stepped through the door, I told Junior to watch his sister and pulled her into our bedroom to explain everything from start to finish.

"So, she waited on me to leave before she came in here? Sneaky ass bitch." Simone shook her head, nothing but disdain for my ex on her face. I was still angry that she would actually try and get me involved with something like that.

There were times where she would hit me up over the years to see how I was doing and wish me well, but I knew for a fact that I had never made her feel comfortable enough to even think that she could come to me with something like that. And our history together didn't mean a damn thing to me in that moment; all that mattered was protecting my family.

"Well, I guess since we're revealing things, I have something to tell you too." She added, instantly causing one of my eyebrows to raise in confusion. My heartbeat began to quicken. I couldn't take any more bad news right about now. "I'm pregnant."

I only stared for a few seconds as my brain took a little while to process the information. "You? As in—" Stuttering over my words, my hand began to caress her stomach as she giggled and nodded yes.

Without another word, I wrapped my arms around her waist and swept her off of her feet as I dressed her face in multiple kisses all over. Her light laughs filled my ear as my kisses continued to rain down on her, the good news ultimately making me forget the reason I was even angry in the first place.

My wife was having another one of my children and there was nothing that could ever pull me away from that.

THE END

[raphaelslefttoe]

Cross me (RaphxReader)

Anything she need, she can call me

Don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

Cross me, cross me, if you, if you, if you, if you (Fred again)

Anything she need, she can call me

Don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

Cross me, cross me, if you, if-

You and Raph have been dating for a few months now. It has been the best couple months in your lives. He’s opened up a lot to you about his insecurities. And you have opened up to him as well. You both could tell when something was bothering the other. He didn’t know what was wrong since you didn’t ever wanna talk about your personal issues with him. But he overheard you and April talking one night. He was early and had something special planned for you that night. But the words he heard you say filled him with rage and hurt. He almost cried because you were so damn important to him.

And she ain't messing with no other man

Me and her have something different

I really need all you to understand

That nobody's coming close

And I don't ever wanna run around

I spent my youth jumping in and out

But you know I fucking love her now

Like nobody ever could

And you know I stay trippin', am I crazy? Oh no

I'm sticking with my baby for sure

Together or solo

It doesn't matter where we are, oh no, no

So if you hear about my lady, just know

That she ain't the one to play with, oh no

And I'll be standing so close

So you know that, ayy

“It’s agitating April...and I can’t tell Raphael that I’m being picked on. I’m weak. I’m embarrassed. I just hate that guys think they can make fun of my body. Then they have the balls to say I slept with them! It’s spread around school and people keep giving me these stares. I thought I would escape this kind of shit when I got older...this is middle school level immaturity...We’re seniors in high school ! I knew assholes existed but not ones who acted like fifth graders.” April listened to you. It pained her that you didn’t tell Raphael about this. That you were keeping all of this in but today had been the worst day of your life. You snapped at one of the guys when he tried feeling up on you. It was the first time they had done it. They made fun of your body then acted as if they owned it. April kept convincing you to tell Raphael before things got worse. So you did. When he knocked on the window 20 minutes later and took you out you told him everything. You felt so ashamed since you never kept anything from him. He told you he had overheard you. But since you’ve started dating he keeps his anger in check. He took deep breathes and thought before he spoke. He always knew what to say once he collected himself. Even if he was upset that you kept this from him he told you that he would take care of it. He swore he would protect you from all harm.

Anything she need, she can call me

Don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

Cross me, cross me, if you, if you, if you

If you cross her

Then you cross me

And nobody's coming close, yeah

And I think that you should know that

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

Raphael decided that him Casey and his brothers would pay those guys a visit. They planned it all out. They would find them and show them what happened when they messed with their family. Raphael didn’t want to hold back. He wanted to kill those bastards who were making his girl feel insecure. He wanted to make sure they never touched you again. Of course he didn’t. Leo wouldn’t let him which was a bummer to him but he knew it was for the best. They would never hurt you again.

So come on and let it go

Oh, I think that you should know (ah!)

And she ain't messing with no other man

Now what you not gon' do

Is stand there 'cross from me like you got Kung Fu

Death stare, crossed arms, running your mouth like a faucet

But you don't know that my girl been doing CrossFit

Pew! Kung Pow! Get your ass with a cross kick

Blowing air out, wear you out, you exhausted

Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit

Keep a lil' blade in her fucking lip gloss kit, ayy

No one say hi to me without her

Better pay your respect to the queen

Better do that shit without a flirt

Gotta respect the HBIC

Couple of things that you need to know

If you still wanna be friends with me

The next day at school no one bothered you. They stayed away from you and wouldn’t even look in your direction. For the first time in a while you finally felt at peace and could enjoy school. Once lunch began you sat with your best friends. April and Casey were eating lunch with you and the assholes seemed to stay as far away from you as possible. They would avoid you at all costs. Casey would look in their direction and they would tremble. I guess seeing turtles did a number on them. And who would believe them if they told people giant ninja turtles threatened them. They would look crazy.

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

Cross me, cross me, if you, if you, if you

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

Nobody's coming close, yeah

And I think that you should know that

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

So come on and let it go

Oh, I think that you should know (ah, ah!)

She stay trippin', and she crazy, oh no

Quit messin' with my baby for sure

Together or solo

You all headed to the lair after school. You were more cheerful and bubbly than you have been in a long while. April and Casey where just glad that they could see you happy once again. “Heya babe how was school?!” You felt strong arms wrap around you and pull you close into him. You smiled knowing it was your big red turtle boyfriend. “It was great! I was able to focus a lot more in class!” He smiled and so did his brothers. “Thank you guys so much. I’m just glad I can breathe at school and not be attacked by people who don’t even know me. It means a lot to me.” You turned to hug your boyfriend and he of course had no problem pulling you closer into him. “You can always count on us. We’re your family!” Mikey states.

It doesn't matter where we are, oh no, no

So if you hear about my lady, just know

That she ain't the one to play with, oh no

And I'll be standing so close

So you know that

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

Nobody's coming close, yeah

And I think that you should know that (huh, huh, huh!)

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

So come on and let it go (ah!)

Oh, I think that you should know

If you cross her (anything she need, she can call me)

Then you cross me (don't worry 'bout her, that's my seed, yup, that's all me)

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

Cross me, cross me, if you, if you, if you, if you, oh yeah

You bet that they never crossed you again. Not unless they wanted to face the wrath of four giant turtles and Casey.

@originalwriter03 I hope you like it ❤️🐢

[fantasiesxwritten]

A Long Time Coming

I had just pulled up to my best friend Lauri’s house, we were supposed to be studying for our midterms together, but I didn’t see her car out front. I grabbed my phone out of my inside purse pocket and went to her name to call her and see if she was close to being here. I let it ring a few times and just as I was about to hang it up, Lauri answered.

“Hey girl! You’re at my house already?” She asked, slightly out of breath. I chuckled out of habit, “What are you doing, chick?” “Girl! Runnin’ up these steps to the library. I had to do a few extra things here that I forgot about. Is it cool if you just wait at my house for me?” Lauri asked me while she still tried to catch her breath. “Uhhh, I mean, errr…” I stammered over my own words. I knew if she was saying that, it meant that her older brother Chris was home. “I guess I could. How long are you going to be though?” I questioned her. “No more than an hour?” She hesitated. “An hour, Lauri?!” I asked, raising my voice just a little. “I’m sorry, Bri! I really did forget about this shit here. But I mean it’s cool though, you can make yourself at home. My brother’s there. Tell that nigga to make you something to eat or something! I don’t know.” Lauri chuckled, still apprehensive on what I might say next. I sighed and huffed quietly, “Fine, Lauri. I’ll wait here. Please just be as quick as possible.” I urged. “I promise, boo. See you soon!” Lauri exclaimed and then hung up the phone. I tossed my phone back inside of my purse and grabbed it, sliding it through my arm; reaching for my messenger bag too. I turned the car off and held the keys in my hand, opening the door and getting out. Closing the door behind me, I breathed in deeply and out as I approached their front door. I knocked lightly, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t hear me and I’d have an excuse to go right back to my car. I lifted my hand to knock again when Chris swung the door open, looking half sleep; half blazed. “What’s good, Bri Bri?” Chris asked me groggily. His voice was so sexy to me. “Hey Chris.” I replied shyly, stepping inside as he held the door open wider for me. Once inside he closed the door behind me and locked it, walking back over to the couch where I assume he was passed out prior to me awaking him. I sat my things down on the kitchen table and sat down at one of the chairs. Chris yawned and turned around to look at me. “Why you sittin’ over there?” He shot me a smile. “I don’t know.” I said briefly. He pat the couch next to him and chuckled. “Bring your ass over here, actin’ like you don’t know a nigga.” I got up slowly from the chair I sat in and walked over to the couch where he was, plopping down on the far end from where he sat. Chris looked over at me, smirking. “So, what’s been up? It’s been a lil minute since I seen you around. You done grew up on a nigga and shit.” I shrugged, “Nothing really. Just studying my ass off, preparing for graduation in a month. Shit is hectic.” I responded, shifting all of my weight towards the arm of the couch. I noticed Chris checking me out, his eyes roaming from my chest and down my body, stopping at my thighs that were exposed in my jean shorts. I cleared my throat, bringing his attention back to my face. “So.. what’s new with you? Where’s your girlfriend at?” I asked, trying to make him focus on something other than me. “Shiiitt. Same ol’, same ol’. And what girlfriend? Bri, now you know me. I don’t keep a chick for too long, I got a reputation to uphold.” Chris laughed out loud, showing all of his teeth now. That fuckin’ smile, man. That fuckin’ smile. “Mhm. Playa playa.” I joked with him. “You already know.” He responded flatly. “Where yo’ man at?” He raised his eyebrow at me, sliding a little closer to me on the couch now. I swear my heart started beating triple its normal rate when he did that. “I don’t have time for one.” “Interesting. I don’t see how you don’t have niggas all over you though.” Chris admitted. I hid the smirk that was dying to appear across my face now. “Why do you say that?” I was surprised at his comment, because Chris had never given me the time of day. I think mainly because of the age difference. And perhaps because I was his sisters best friend. “I mean.. look at you. You’re all grown up now. 18 and shit. Not the little Bri that used to be over here playing with barbie dolls and shit.” Chris chuckled before he continued, “Wait, you are 18 right?” He asked for confirmation. “Yessss, Chris. I’m 18 now. But I look the same as I did before, just a little more mature maybe now.” I explained. “Exactly my point. You all grown, in every aspect of the sense. I remember when you had mosquito bites.” Chris snickered. “Whatever, Chris.” “Nah nah, no offense Bri. I’m just saying, a nigga ain’t neglected to see the shit. I just wasn’t tryna say nothing to you with Lauri around. That shit would be mad awkward.” I simply nodded at him. “No offense taken.” “But uhhh, where is Lauri anyway?” He asked, looking back towards the door now and then back to me. “At the library. She said she’ll be here in an hour.” “Hmm..” Chris hummed as he moved in closer to me now; there was no more room for me to scoot over on the couch. He had me cornered. “Hmm, what?” I asked. “Bri, why we gon’ play these games when you and I both know, this ain’t what you need; but it’s what you want.” He stated so matter of factly. I can’t even lie, Chris always knew I had a crush on him. I just stopped trying to drop hints after he had turned me down so many times and made it clear that I was too young. “I don’t follow what you mean, Chris.” I lied. “Word? You don’t follow me?” He asked low, his voice almost at a whisper now. Moving in as close as he could, Chris reached his hand out and let his fingers walk up my knee, making its way up my thigh slowly. I looked down at his hand and back at him. He never took his eyes off of his fingers that were on me; as he slipped them up under the bottom of the shorts, rubbing them against my skin playfully. I bit my bottom lip while he removed his fingers from there and trailed them over to the middle of my thighs, sliding his hand upward. I sat my hand on top of his hand that was now between my legs. “Chris..” I whispered out to him. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Oh, now you following me though, ain’t you?” He smirked, leaning in to kiss me on the side of my neck softly. His lips felt like everything on my skin, as he continued to kiss his way up to my ear. He let his tongue run up my earlobe, sucking it into his mouth and nibbling on it. “Say the word and I’ll stop.” He turned his hand flat in between my legs and let his fingers press up against me, rubbing me through my shorts. I didn’t dare tell him to stop, I didn’t want him to. Instead I bit my lip, concealing any words from leaving them as Chris kissed from my earlobe and back down my neck, sucking here and there. His fingers continued pressing up against me, making me want to moan out already; and he hadn’t even touched my bare skin yet. Chris removed his hand from between my legs, moving up now to undo my shorts and slide his hand inside. His hand found its way down and pulled my panties to the side just enough to run his fingers across my lips; making me bite my lip even harder now. He bit down on my neck gently as he traced my lips slowly and spread them, stroking his middle finger up and down my clit gently. He was now sucking on the side of my neck lightly, and pulling my skin with his teeth, making a moan slip from my lips. “You want me to stop?” He whispered between nibbles. “Uh uh..” I managed to speak back. “Tell me you don’t want me to stop, Bri.” Seductively Chris’ voice lingered through my ears. “I-I-I don’t want you to stop.” I moaned lightly as his finger began to slide down and slip inside of me slowly; pulling his finger in and out of me. “I didn’t think so.” I took it upon myself to lift up now and pull my shorts down more so he had room to do more. Once I had them to my knees, Chris told me to pull them all the way off and get rid of them. I smirked, using my legs to get them all the way down and over my sandals. He used his other hand to spread my legs apart wider, reaching over to pull my panties to the side more. Now sliding another finger inside of me to join the other, he started to penetrate me deeper but so slow. I leaned my head back against the couch, as Chris pushed his fingers in and out of me, my wetness already completely covering them. “Play with your clit.” He whispered into my ear as he watched me bring my right hand down above his hand to start rubbing on myself. “No. Fingers up to your lips.” He commanded me. I brought my fingers up to my lips while Chris gave me further instructions. “Suck them slow.” He told me as I slid them inside my mouth extra slow, getting them wet. When he felt like I had them wet enough, he told me what to do next, “Now play with your clit for me.” I moaned out softly before I even reached my clit from his fingers picking up the pace inside of me and now curving upward, gliding across my g-spot. When my own fingers did rub around my clit, a louder moan escaped my lips from the double sensation I was feeling now. “Mmmm, shit.” I moaned out for him, rubbing small slow circles around my clit, while Chris played in and out of my pussy. His fingers felt so good inside of me, as I slouched down on the couch a little. Chris pulled his fingers completely out right now and brought them up to my lips, rubbing them across my lips and forcing them inside of my mouth. Sucking my own juices off of his fingers, Chris grinned at me before he brought them back down and rammed them inside of me. “Ahhhh fuck.” I moaned out loudly, rubbing my clit a little faster now. I was so fucking wet right now, I could hear the sounds I was making as Chris dipped in and out of me, occasionally playing on my g-spot. Whenever he did that, I felt my legs start to tremble lightly, feeling little mini orgasms coming on. He’d let me shake a little before he went back to just running his fingers in and out of me fast again, not curving them upward. He was fucking with me hardbody, but I loved it. “Rub it faster.” He spoke out slowly, “I want to see how much wetter you can get for me.” I switched hands now rubbing my clit with my left hand, rubbing it faster now; moving my hand down just a little to gather some of my juices and come back up to continue stroking my clit. I ran my fingers across it now, flicking it fast and hard. “Yessss, fuck yessss.” I continued moaning; louder now. I reached my other hand over and made my way inside of Chris’ basketball shorts and into his boxers; his dick greeting me the minute my hand came into contact with it. He was already on swoll from playing with me; I grabbed his dick in my hands, stroking him up and down slowly at first, letting my thumb tickle his head before I moved my hand back down the shaft of his dick. His fingers making their way in and out of me harder now almost made me lose focus on rubbing my own clit as I put all my attention in gliding my small hand up and down his dick. I leaned into Chris, pressing my lips against his hard and sucking his bottom lip; stroking him in my hand faster now. He grunted out encouraging me to tighten my grip with my fingers and stroke him long, while he forced his fingers inside of me and out of me; all the way to his knuckles. I was moaning insanely now, as Chris used his own thumb now to rub my clit fast, making me take my hand away and focus on his dick solely. “Shittt, Bri. You’re so fucking wet.” Chris grunted as he thrusted his hips upward, making his dick slide faster between my fingers. I wanted to put my mouth around it so bad and try to deepthroat him. All I could focus on currently was the way his fingers felt as they pumped in and out of me, now curving up into my g-spot again and sending my body into sudden shock as he massaged it. “Oh my fuckkkk, Chris. Keep it there, keep it there.” I breathed in and out, my chest heaving up and down heavily now. “You like that shit?” He asked me, biting his bottom lip hard and still rubbing my clit in fast circles, multitasking like a motherfucker. I started to grind my hips into him, matching the strokes of his fingers into my pussy; rolling my hips faster now and feeling the heat of an oncoming orgasm creeping up on me. I closed my eyes tightly, as my hand stopped stroking his dick and I placed my hand on top of his, pressing against his fingers; making them enter me as hard as they could now. I was completely immersed in the feeling that his fingers were bringing to me. “Yesss, I love it.. I fuckin’ love it!” I moaned out, my own fingers getting a little wet from rubbing against his; I had his fingers soaked. Chris leaned into my ear now, whispering to me how bad he wanted me to cum on his fingers so he could suck my juices off of them. He told me all the things he had been wanting to do to me but never could. Hearing all of these things and him fucking me tirelessly with his fingers was what did it for me. “Gon’ head and cum for me.” He whispered in my ear, right as I was cumming all over his fingers; with my legs shaking full force now. They started to close up with his hand still between them as he used his arm to pry them back open, only slamming his fingers in and out of me harder; sounds of his fingers playing in my wetness was all that could be heard now. Moans were rolling off my tongue now as I bit my lip hard as hell and gripped onto the arm of the couch tightly. “AHHHH YESSSSSS!!” I screamed out for him as my orgasm reached its peak and I felt my pussy contracting around his fingers now. It was throbbing around him as he continued to accelerate his fingers deep inside of me, not easing up until I calmed down. I moaned repeatedly as my body slowly started to gain control again and loosened my grip up on the couch. I was so wet and horny; all I wanted right now was to get on top of Chris and ride the shit out of him. I wanted to show him what he’d been missing out on all this time. Chris snatched his fingers from inside of me and as promised brought his fingers to his lips, sliding them in one at a time and sucking them dry right before my eyes. “Mmmm.” I moaned out only wanting him even more than I had just seconds ago. “You don’t know how bad I wanna fuck you.” I told him as I watched him move from the couch, dropping his basketball shorts and boxers onto the floor. “Show me.” He said as he stood in front of me and reached behind my head to pull me in close to his dick, letting me know he wanted me to suck him off first. I grabbed his dick in my hand by the base, stroking him slowly and wrapping my lips around the head first before I inched my mouth down on him. Bobbing my head forward, I let my tongue glide along his dick while I sucked him almost completely into my mouth. I was building up a steady rhythm first with my mouth before I removed my hand to attempt in taking him all in. “Ahhh shit, Bri.” Chris groaned as inch by inch all of him was beginning to disappear into my mouth. I looked up at him while he looked back down at me, placing his hand on the back of my head and forcing my head forward. He pushed on my head, his dick bobbing in and out of my mouth faster as I dropped my hand from around him, swallowing him now. Just as I was getting into it and getting more comfortable with his size down my throat, the front door opened creakily. Before we could even grasp what was going on fast enough to stop and try to cover up this scene, the blood curdling screaming began. “OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD! CHRIS?! BRI?!” Lauri yelled out like she’d just walked in on a bloody massacre. “WHAT THE FUCK!!”

Author | Kierra Posted | May 2012

[neshabeingchildish]

Slightly different format, because I just needed y’all who didn’t know this song to hear it, okay? Okay, so I’m about as old as the characters parents could be, maybe slightly younger, because they probably had them a little later in adulthood than I’m far off from them, but I figured, close enough to use MY childhood/youth music for Charlotte’s mom’s taste. At least the general timeline. I named songs and artists, if y’all wanna ever listen to any of it. I haven’t/don’t know if I’m making a Determined Soundtrack/Playlist.

Pretty Brown Eyes

Alright. It was one thing to lean into his kiss, reciprocate his embrace and shift herself into his lap. But, she didn't have to go off the way she did for their first kiss. Because, not only did Charlotte do these things, but she also rocked against him a little, which in turn, he took as an invitation to explore her with his big, strong hands. 

She wasn't quite sure how awkward it must've been for Henry and Amelie to see them there when they left through the front door trying not to make any noise for the pair making out on the floor of the main hallway. But, she had to guess it was as bad as her realizing that they had to have seen them whenever they left, because the front door was right down that, very, hallway.

Eventually, she was the one who caught herself and ended the fun. Her head was spinning, nerves tingling and legs wobbling, but she found her senses and pulled herself together. Jasper was a pile of mush, except for the one thing, what, with her doing all that rocking against him. Ugh. Girl, a first kiss is supposed to be soft and sweet. You're not supposed to half grind the dude into the floor of your parents' house. She shivered thinking about his hands on her body, but it was time for that kiss to be put behind them.

"We can't be doing stuff like this," Charlotte said and helped him up. "I had a point before you did that and I don't even remember my middle name right now."

"The magic of love has rendered you temporarily futile…"

"No. The coursing of hormones has thrown off my equilibrium and it does not feel good."

He panicked. "But, it did though? The not good feeling is an afterthought, right?"

"You have to go and I need to lie down." He nodded and tried to give her a hug, but she placed her hands up to halt him and took a step back. “I’m serious.” He nodded and left her, scratching his head and hoping that his stunt hadn’t done the very thing that she was afraid of - ruined things between them.

.

Morning meetups were awkward. Jasper brought her breakfast, she brought his and Henry’s, but they didn’t really say much to each other. Instead, she spoke to Henry about everything but Jasper and whenever Jasper did speak, she was weird about her reponses. 

Work was atypical. While they generally spent most shifts around each other, she now felt like the store needed to be watched at all times, but if he came up, she took that time to go make scans in the Man Cave to be sure they hadn’t missed any calls for help.

In addition to avoiding him big time, she told him that she looked into Amelie pretty deeply and couldn’t find any reason that he couldn’t “get back on track” with her.

“You’d find that reason in the mirror,” Jasper said and she just rolled her eyes and walked away from him. Whenever he told her that things were weird at home and asked if he could crash, she politely asked Henry if it was okay if Jasper crashed at his, instead. Jasper was exasperated, or as Henry said, in an attempt to be funny, exJasperated. Jasper commented that would be the name of his next podcast, and she left them to that conversation to return to the store.

“So… She’s really just moving on like it didn’t happen?” Henry wondered. He’d waited outside for Jasper that night, because he figured that Charlotte would catch herself and kick him to the curb. But, he thought that by now, she would have talked to Jasper about it, fixed their friendship and outlined how it could never happen again.

“No. It’s worst. She’s moving on like it did happen and it was horrifying for her. She refuses to be alone with me and she hardly talks to me, now. I feel like I did something bad to her, but I thought she liked it. I thought she liked me.”

“She liked it and she likes you. You know what this is really about? Self control. She doesn’t trust herself to be alone with you, because she might wind up on your lap, in your arms again and she thinks she shouldn’t be there. You gotta show her that she should be there.”

“How would I do that without being the very creepo that both you and her have told me numerous times to not be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe her family knows something that we don’t? Something that could help us get her for you.”

“Her parents never say much beyond salutations and asking about my day. But… Uncle Rox might help. He loves me and we’re friends on social media. He lived with them for a while. He had to notice something useful.”

Henry nodded, “There you go!”

.

Jasper made an appointment with Uncle Roscoe at his new house, aka his wife’s house, to set some wheels in motion for wooing Charlotte. The man was all too happy to help. “I LOVE love, Lil’ Nephew,” he told Jasper. “My niece sure can use some wooing. Does she still have an attitude about everything?”

“A huge tude… but I still love her. I find it endearing. She’s polite with people she doesn’t care about, so it’s like… a compliment of sorts when you get that sass from her.”

Uncle Roscoe nodded his head as he made some freshly squeezed juice. “Well, I had a secret weapon to soften her up when she was younger and I found out when I lived at their house that it still kinda worked, depending on the material.”

“I must know!” Jasper said, making prayer hands. Roscoe slid a glass across the island to him and he luckily caught it in his palm. Uncle Rox is super kewl. 

“You subscribe to her Spotify?” Roscoe asked.

“No. I don’t believe that we share music tastes.”

“Well, you better get used to it, because that’s gon’ be your bread and butter, Lil’ Nephew. You see, Charlotte has a love for classic R&B, particularly the late 80's/early 90's. She loves all the boy groups that were popular when me and her moms grew up, because that’s the type of stuff that her moms listened to when she was young. Now, most people stop experiencing new music as they get older. They have some nostalgia about their parents’ music, which they pretend like they don’t, like Charlotte be pretending. They have the stuff that was popular when they were growing up, that was their childhood music. And, mostly, by a certain point, they allow very little new music into their worlds. That’s how my sister was. So, a lot of her music was stuff from the 80s and 90s, and Charlotte loves a lot of it, despite her pretenses.”

“You… Think that me listening to 80’s and 90’s R&B boy groups will win over Charlotte?” Jasper asked confused, finally drinking his juice. “This juice is AMAZING!”

“That’s that Roscoe’s Tropical Trash right there. But, no. The listening is just the first step. You gotta know that music, Boi. You gotta learn it. You gotta know what to play and when. You can control Charlotte’s little ass with the right song selection.”

“That has to be made up,” Jasper said, defeated.

Roscoe told him, “Try it out. If she gets mad, pull up “You Don’t Have to Cry by Rene and Angela,” and see if by the end of that song, she won’t be a different woman. Matter of fact, before anything even happens in your day, just put on Rhythm of the Night by DeBarge and see if she don’t have the cheeriest, happiest day.”

Jasper cupped his cup in his fingers and stared at him. “I seriously can’t tell if you’re making up these songs and artists.”

“Boi, here…” He opened his phone and said, “I’m gonna send you a link to Charlotte’s Spotify. Check out them lists. She’s got some of the music by the year and some by the decade, but it’s all kinda R&B on it. She does like a few older than that, but her most frequent ones, I assure you are those 80s-90s ones, with the groups like Troop, New Edition, Boys II Men…”

“I know them!” Jasper cheered.

“Just… The songs I told you about. Use them, then get back to me when you ready to learn musical conditioning for Charlotte.”

Uncle Roscoe used to be a vocal coach for a production studio that went ass end up in the 90s. He was also a musician, DJ, and club promoter. He was a bouncer at a jazz club, at a strip club, and at a popular night club. He still tried to make music sometimes. He played many instruments and he loved to sing. None of his efforts ever worked out fully. But, he still loved the music industry and he always had a good time with his  niece, whenever a good song put her in a good mood. He knew what he was talking about, but Jasper might have to see for himself.

.

Charlotte was about to go upstairs when she heard the opening notes of Rhythm of the Night and bounced towards it curiously. Jasper and Henry were sitting around, and Jasper’s device was connected to the computer. “How do you know this song?” She wondered.

“Uncle Rox shared a DOPE playlist with me whenever I went over for juice. I can’t stop listening to it.”

“It’s a good song. A good feel good song!” She cheered, excited. “I never would have thought you’d like this, though.”

“I love a good feel good song,” he said. She just nodded, smiling and chilled for a little longer, singing along with the song and dancing by herself. It was a little weird for Henry and Jasper to see, but Jasper immediately realized that Uncle Roscoe was right! The music made Charlotte different! 

Now, she was heading to the store, but she was pulling up her own playlist, because she felt like dancing around as she cleaned up the store. Henry smiled at her on the camera and said, “This is an adorable version of Char,”

“She’s always adorable,” Jasper said, watching her, enthralled. 

Charlotte was glad for the dance party of one. She had been so stressed about letting Jasper down, trying to be his friend, trying to avoid him, trying to forget his lips and hands - she had forgotten to just enjoy herself. How lucky was it that Uncle Roscoe put Jasper onto such great music? And Jasper LIKED it? That just made him more likeable! Ugh. She was gonna groan about it, but Never Knew Love Like This Before by Stephanie Mills came on and she was right back in the feel good zone.

.

Charlotte had taken to starting her days with some feel good music, because everyday around Jasper was a struggle. She found that even when he said something frustratingly stupid, she still thought he was cute. Somehow, his ignorance was tolerable to her and even somewhat charming? She looked at him do something ridiculous and think - look at this cinnamon roll. Ugh! She hoped that whatever was going on was reversible. Until then, music therapy should do the daily trick. Today, she began her day with Square Biz by Teena Marie, which brought her mother in to jam with her for a little while and volunteer to do her hair while they hung out, singing and stuff. They didn’t often, so that was a super plus of the day. She came out of the house in the highest spirits that she had been in, in weeks.

She had two braids with puffs at the end, with some charms braided in. She had worn some makeup. Her outfit was clutch. Honestly, she was slaying, and she felt amazing heading to the bakery. The guy at the bakery saw her and almost burned himself on the oven. She pretended not to see as she fought a smile. He quickly caught himself and got her order prepared. She said, “I’m in a really good mood, so I’ll also take an assorted box of kolaches and donuts for my work. Surprise me with the flavors…” 

They were both distracted by this music outside. Everybody in the bakery looked to see where it was coming from. “Is that Pretty Brown Eyes by Mint Condition?” Charlotte asked herself out loud, right before the doors opened and Jasper came in, singing the song. 

“Pretty brown eyes, You know I see you. It's a disguise the way you treat me. You keep holding on to your thoughts of rejection. If you're with me you're secured…”

“What?” She asked herself, frozen in place at… whatever…  this was. She loved that song. There was a whole ass band outside. “Uncle Roscoe…” She said, when she saw him and his friends playing Jasper’s music. Henry was there, recording with his phone. She smiled at the clerk and pretended that they weren’t there for her. She grabbed her order, forced a smile at her friends and tried to pass by. Henry took her order and Jasper continued to sing to her. 

“You keep telling me that your time is always taken, But I keep seeing you out alone. Listen to love; Your heart is pounding with desire waiting to be unleashed…”

As he did, she tried not to blush and laugh. She walked out, and it was louder out there, with the band playing music, but Jasper’s determined self was following her and singing, much like some kind of 90’s music video. She couldn’t help but be impressed and he was a pretty good singer too.

They’d really missed out, not letting him finish his songs during the musical curse. He danced around her, singing the lyrics and she couldn’t help but bop to the music. 

“Quit breakin' my heart 

Breakin' my heart, yeah (pretty brown eyes, Uncle Roscoe was singing backup and playing his instrument)

Breakin' my heart, yeah

Breakin' my heart, sugar, yeah, yeah”

She LOVED this song! Whenever Jasper neared the end of his song, she was pretty much weak and he was so fine, and this took so much work and wasn’t she WORTH this kind of trouble? Jasper sure thought so. Maybe he was worth a little trouble too. Maybe he was worth the risks she worried about. That high pitched, “Quit breaking my heart!” Was her sign. She grabbed him, pulled him to her and started kissing him. Henry cheered him on, and Uncle Roscoe returned a favor of calling out, “Get it, Lil’ Nephew!”

Henry sniffled, “I’m so proud, right now.”

Charlotte pulled back, laughed, shook her head and told Jasper, “You’re crazy. Remember, when it sucks, you insisted on this. Now… You’ve got me.”

He looked towards the band and yelled, “We did it, Uncle Rox! She’s mine!” 

She rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand and pulled him down the street. Henry stopped recording and looked at the band, “Ummm… Well… You gentlemen, and ladies have a good day.” He caught up with his friends, holding the breakfast while they held hands and smiled at each other the whole time. “Feeling left out,” Henry said.

“You’ll pull through,” Charlotte told him. 

Jasper just laughed and gave her a kiss on the temple. “You are so pretty,” he told her. Then, with a big smile, “I can’t believe that I’m this lucky!” 

[praphit]

The X-People: DP Degrees of BS

Frickin Phoenix!

(What does that even mean? “Every hero has a DARK side?” She kills people! Are all of our heroes murderers? - but I’ll get to that later.)

I'm mad! That's right, people! I'm mad at MYSELF! Why? Well, I could have taken the kids to go see "The Secret Life of Pets 2", so we could laugh our asses off (Idk what kids I'm talkin about - just randomly picking kids up off the streets and taking them to see movies... prob best I didn't do that). 

I could have seen something cultured like "Late Night" or "THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANSISCO"; which I admit is a stupid title, but it seems like it's a good movie. But, no, people! My comic book geekiness would not allow it!

Instead I went to see this bullshit right here - “X-Men: Dark Phoenix”. 

Don't look at me that way, Sansa! You know dag gon well this movie is some ol' bullshit!

You know! The rest of your acting squad knows, the director knows, the writers know - I knew from the first trailer! I knew from the first time they announced that they were taking another crack at a cinematic Phoenix story. Why?? Cuz we've done this before! Yep! 

There it is! - and it was terrible! 

What’s going on with that poster? Apparently, they didn’t have any confidence in that movie either. Why is Wolverine running at me like Sonic the Hedgehog?

I tried to find a better poster, but...

Here they look like they’re posing in some 80′s rock video. TAKE THAT STAND:)

I was mad back then with the first trailer, because I knew that this moment would come. And I actually really liked the first two movies of these particular X-Men. It was Apocalypse that ruined everything. 

People thought that movie was so bad, that it erased all the good that this franchised has done (even going back to the older X-Men):

The ground-breaking 1st movie (tho it prob doesn't hold up),

(Creepy old Magneto is coming for dat ass!)

Wolverine 

(it's hard to imagine anyone playing him better than Hugh Jackman. And he should have won an award for how cut he got... and he was so modest. If I ever  end up looking like that, WHEW! - ladies look out:),  

I loved Patrick Stewart as Prof. X, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender's intense hot & frigid bromance (though we never got our make-out seen:), Quicksilver (man, I wish we could get more of him), "Logan" (excellent comic book movie), and I'm not sure if we'd have Deadpool without them ruining that first Wolverine movie. Not to mention that they marketed the hell out of this movie franchise and made so much money! But, then this guy showed up and effed it all to hell!

("Everything they built will FALL... ")

- you ain't lyin, jack!

And while that movie was terrible, it wasn't as bad as everyone said. Bullshit sure, but... there are different degrees of bullshit. Apocalypse was forgettable BS, sometimes there's BS that makes us laugh, or think, or cry - what type of bullshit will Dark Phoenix be? -  Let's take a look:

This movie kicks off with the X-Men in space. Yep! SPACE! Since when are the X-Men astronauts? Which movie did they get training for any of that? How did they build an X-Jet for space travel? Did they learn it on YouTube? And even if that were the case, how's the government allowing this? If a group of talented minorities built a functional space craft, do you think President Trump would allow them to come and go as they please? Shiiiiiii In the movie they don't even test it first. Xavier just says that they'll be fine, and sends the kids off.

I think that there needs to be an investigation. Prof. X is trying to kill these kids. He keeps sending them on missions that they shouldn't come back from:

X-Men: "But, professor, we don't know how to disarm a bomb!"

Xavier: "You'll be fine."

X-Men: "But, professor, the X Jet isn't built for deep sea exploration, we don't even know where we're going!"

Xavier: "Y'all will figure it out."

Then, as they come back, he's counting to see if they all made it - "Ten kids left, and coming back, I count... ten DAMMIT! But, wait, one is injured... doesn't look like he'll pull through. YES! (as he drinks some bourbon - which he does at an alarming rate in this movie... prob to block out all the kids he has killed).

While we're on the topic of him - did the movie "Split" ruin James McAvoy's take on Prof X for anybody else? This is all I kept seeing when he was on camera.

But, as you know, cuz they did this exact plot in "X-Men: Last Stand" Jean Grey gets possessed by some space entity while they're up there, and becomes Phoenix.

Jean (played by Sophie Turner, who actually does a good job) is found to have done something horrible. Xavier (and this is no spoiler, cuz again X-Men: Last Stand") blocks out the bad stuff she has done to try to protect her, this eventually wears off, and now we get DARK 

...wait, sorry.

Now we get DARK PHOENIX! 

There we go!

(”Where’s my money?!”)

Now, Jessica Chastain is in this as well seen here, experimenting with bleach,

 who's leading a group of aliens to manipulate Jean (I'll get to them later). But, if JC is in the house, you can be sure that a women's rights message will be in there somewhere (#drinkinggame) And BOOM, there it was - "Don't let some MAN in a chair tell you what you are? - what you can and can not be! Don't let him controoool you!" 

I'm all for girl power, buuuuuut she HAS been on a bit of a carnage streak, and she has been killing people, annnnnnd isn't Jessica Chastain also trying to control her? But, imma let all that go... what do I know?? :)

I gotta be honest, I was digging the first half of this movie. They were capturing everything I love about the X-Men: social issues, political issues, teen struggles. They have lots of real drama going on amongst themselves. There are times when you'll cheer the X-Men on and times when you'll agree with some of the humans that THEY GOTZ TO GO! I love the flaws of the X-Men; it makes them relatable. I even love the struggle with having so much power, and yet having to try to walk a line of morality - which they suck at btw.

The professor sucks at it the most, which made me kinda sad, actually. BUT, to be fair, he has the power to control people's minds... would any of us with that power be able to consistently resist certain temptations?? Def not giving him a pass though. He does a lot of messed up stuff (some things they draw attention to, and others that they don't). Some things that made me cringe, even though MOST of what he was doing was out of love. I can't depend on none of my fave leaders anymore - not even the fictional ones.

We were getting into some deep stuff! BUT, then it was as if some big shot walked on the set and reminded them that they have a "Blow shit up" quota to meet, and that the plot points were slowing them down. Soooooooo, they burn the script and start blowing things up. Some people might say "Praphit, this is a comic book movie, how much script can you expect?" If this were 20 years ago, I'd agree.

Plus, it's more the fact that nothing makes any sense at this point.

Magneto (who's always the voice of reality in these movies, in my opinion) wants to kill Jean (for very good reasons), but he knows that he can't take Phoenix by himself, so why is he trying? He's a smart dude; why not come up with a better plan? Prof X wants to talk to Jean, to reason with her... the problem with that is that they just tried that a few days ago, and that couldn't have gone any more terribly than it did. The aliens in this movie (which lack all personality btw), who's objective is to control Jean, also know that they can't really do that or take her out (which was plan B), so... what the hell are we doing? The aliens are supposed to be the smart ones!

Prof X should have just controlled everyone's minds, and played a big game of immoral chess to take Jean out - that would have been a cool movie. But, this (though the effects are VERY COOL:) simply became a shoot-out! Not to mention, that right before all of this awesome, but confusing damage takes place, they have a big speech about restraint and not doing harm. Literally, a minute later, the X-Men are blowing buses up!

But, all of that is not even what makes this movie bullshit (grade: D+ btw). What makes this movie bullshit is the fact that it's the last one before Disney takes over.

You'd think that they would have given it their best, so that they can go out making us miss them! But, it felt like half way through the movie the team was told that this is all over, and that Mickey Mouse is coming to collect, but instead of going out with their best, they said to themselves "bleep it" and mailed-it-in.

The way that the final battle scene ends doesn't make any sense. It's one of those scenarios where "If you could do that... why didn't you do that earlier and save more destruction?" and a lil bit of "Well, if you had THAT much power, then none of these other altercations should have even been close."

The way it ends after that too! Man! It's like they just fast forwarded through the parts they didn't feel like acting out. This is the last one, people! Just lazy!

Yeah you!

I've got a spoiler, sooooo if you don't want it, skip through the text after Patrick Stewart - and start reading again when you see his handsome face again:)

(this is back when I learned to love this man)

So, Jean is... gone (possibly dead), and the X-Men name the school after her "Institute of Jean Grey" or something like that. Also, Prof X steps down (maybe due to guilt of his misatkes with Jean, who knows for sure, cuz they didn't act it out), and leaves Beast in charge in with the other teen X-Men to instruct the 'young kids at the school. "Other TEEN X-Men" Did they just make these kids professors? And what qualifies Beast (at this stage in his life) to run the school? Plus, Jean Grey was kind of a murderer wasn't she (and this wasn't a secret from the rest of the world)? Come on,kids, let me sign you up for "Ted Bundy's School for gifted youngsters" Would you be onboard for that? Hell no!

(Here’s PS fresh off a bender. “I promise, Timmy, I’ll try to think about never touching the sauce again, but this hair says that I will.”)

So... I'd say, entertaining bullshit. The effects (especially) at the end are great! But, the rest... and to go out like this... ugh.

There's a cool quote in here from Mystique (played by J.Law) who clearly didn't want to be there. It was a quote about how the women in the X-Men seem to be sticking their necks out and saving the day way more than the men, and that  maybe Xavier should change their name to “The X-Women”. I thought that was not only funny, but a damned good point. I say do it!

I'd love it if you had a a big strong manly man of the team go ahead of the action and stand up to the enemy, and when asked "Who are you?" he replies

"We're the X-Women."

[igaveuplent]

Things:

1. Whoa. Oh boy. Here we go. Let’s start off with the thing that is giving me the most anxiety right now because if I don’t get it out of the way I feel like my heart will continue to beat out of my chest. Let’s go to two for this.

2. What the actual fuck? What is it? It’s not like I’m paying an upwards of 90 GRAND for a degree. Just one. It’s not like this is the pathway to my future or anything. No need to answer my email. How do we have clinical on Thursday and you’re still not answering my email? How is it that your page is still under construction? How are your direction not clear as day! Where the fuck are we supposed to meet on Thursday? Please tell me. Jfc. I don’t feel any better after that. Let’s move on.

3. Insecurities. Let’s talk about that and how some man decided to poke at mine this weekend. I don’t even want to say this out loud but it truthfully bothers me so much- that I nearly cried. Of course not in front of him but I wanted to. I also wanted to take a knife to his throat but his family was right there. I’m going to break this into two points. To the actual point, he said I looked 13.

4. The next thing he proceeded to do was ask his wife who looks older, me or his barely 14 y/o daughter. Like thanks sir. He said, “don’t take offense to this. I’m just saying. You know when you’re 90 you’ll look 40.” WELL IM NOT TRYNA GET RAILED AND HAVE MY FACE USED AS A THRONE AT NINTY YOU CUNT. I’m trying to get face fucked at 28, but apparently I look younger than 16, so if that tells me anything, I’m attracting pedos. (For anyone reading this I’m sorry for the vulgarity. But not really. I mean- sex is sex, and even the outlandish kinks shouldn’t have a taboo attached to them. Who are we harming? Besides. Even the most vanilla of you fuckers have some ounce of curiosity- don’t deny it. That’s what makes us.. not better, but freer. We are able to tap in and accept. Venture off into the deep end and allow ourselves that vulnerability. If you are uncomfortable though- that’s the last mention of sex in this post so feel free to proceed. I am sorry for the tangent.)

5. Easy Love and Paris in the Rain by Lauv. You’re welcome. Actually, the whole album.

6. I think I could really do this. School I mean. I’ll try to leave out the negative after thoughts I have. I can see some sort of ending- a nicer one than I had anticipated.

7. “Control your emotions.” That’s rich coming from an asshole that didn’t know how to control his anger my entire childhood. Fuck right off with that. If have to control my emotions for anyone that decides to BEAT on Asian elders, then I don’t want control. Which is what he told me after I said I’d go to jail for my elders. “Control your emotions.” To which he admitted later that he’d do the same thing. Hmm. It’s funny isn’t it? How you can hold all the emotion and suffocate the rest of our feelings.

8. My brother is failing again. Interesting how they still won’t do anything more or different. My father is obviously kept out of the loop. He’d have a field day with that. Perhaps that’s what my brother needs. Maybe not. Most likely not. It never did anyone any good with the yelling.

9. Honestly, I have thought of suicide these last two weeks. It hasn’t been as bad, which I know is a good thing. I’m sure the people that love me would agree. Let me move on to ten before I really start to think more about it.

10. Seriously, answer my god damn email. Please. For the love of hell.

11. If you follow it down to the T, I would like you to know you’re transphobic as fuck. There’s no way around that. If that’s how you interpret things or choose to follow, we can’t be friends. I’m sorry but your religion doesn’t get to decide what’s wrong with me or disregard my being. Remember- your god is not mine.

12. Now I’m thinking about nine and it’s intensifying.

13. I know this one is random but it still pisses me off. My friend’s child threw a grape at me once. And not even in a ha ha type way, but legitimately threw a grape at me. I looked at the kid sideways, and the mom gon say, “don’t look at my child like that.” WELL THEN BITCH GET YOUR CHILD. IF YOURE NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HER THROWING A GRAPE AT ME THEN IM LOOKING AT LIL MAMA SIDEWAYS. I hate when parents don’t teach their children not to be absolute little monsters. It’s not cute. It’s a Fucking grape I know but now I’m just angry about everything and she popped up on my socials. A fucking grape. I wanted to beam that kid in the fucking forehead.

[ramblingshit]

The Woman in Black - 1989 - 3/10

looks like the 1980s but with somewhat older-style outfits; exposition mutherfuckerrrrrr;

very slow, fluffy script; oh got the cut is just forward and back as they speak, now we’re close flipping forward and back when its their turn to speak i’m dying. exposition, telling other characters what the audience has already heard; each of these scenes are far too long with so much fluff, Jesus Christ the cuts just throw us into a completely different place with no transition its so abrupt and the jump cuts are infinitely worse fuck half of these are like .5 seconds long, they’re so basic its crazy. some j cuts all of the sudden and some decent direction all of the sudden on this indoors scene wtf lol. then back to awful cuts, apparently just outside and between scenes.

i can’t even focus on the story because there’s so much nonsense filming, writing and acting and jfc.

the 2012 version is only 5 minutes less but this one reaaaaally feels like its length while the 2012 one does not.

the house is just a grey house in a simple marsh, unassuming, boring to look at, the birds chirp, there’s a half-sunken cemetery nearby, the woman in blacks just standing there in broad daylight with a lil hat on her head, her skin like yellow tinted with red around her eyes kinda lookin like the wicked witch of the west, just staring casually at him they giving her a mid-shot and a close-shot and all, got some crooked shaped eyebrows, i think she’s angry? I’d be angry too with that ugly ass velvet donut on my head; she slowly sorta makes her way a few steps toward him, he sprints off and locks the door then turns on all the electrical lights in the house and seems alright; the rooms are tiny and clean cause she only just died (woman in black’s sister) - it’s really not scary - all white and beige with floral designs, boring frames with dark protraits; reminds me of the rooms at the thornton’s house and other old bedrooms i stayed in as a kid; fuck he’s really turning every single light on. he’s drinking again. we’re half an hour in and he’s messing around with some sort of recorder whistling into it and shit - omfg i thought that was leading up to a scare but no. telling the clues of the mystery in these weird cylinder recordings instead of the 2012 letters? he’s drinking again. WHOA hey we got an establishing shot and its a red-bricked house three stories tall with a big ass entrance way and pointed roofs and lots of windows am i missing something wait what happened to the grey house. there’s no scary music, its all light, there’s no suspense its like well here we are, now we’re here, now the marsh is water, there’s fog and horses and he’s nervous and there’s horses and women and children screaming yikesss ol mate looks mildly nervous, they must have hired him for his scared running and dramatic turns, NOW THE HOUSE HAS GREEN VINES ALL OVER IT. i mean he seems passionate about his role he’s tryin his hardest thats for sure. half of its filmed like a stage show - where’d the dog go. continuity needs to like actually be a thing. why do these candles have hats they’re on beautiful candelabras and now there’s more alcohol. for epople who have a butler and a maid on stand-by their tablecloth looks like a crumpled sheet and the lampshades look like they were picked up from the tip and they’re fkn crooked for godssake. we’re 46 minutes in and theres been maybe 25 minutes of actual story. he ran because he was afraid and that sits wrong with him so he wants to go back - now he’s ‘brave but not brave enough’. stubborn muthafucker. his rational friend is like lol you’re a moron, take my dog as companion he’s called spider for some reason. jesus fuck the cuts they get me everytime they’re scarier than anything else i’ve seen. unsurprised i could see the shadow of the camera. oh okay the grey house is the generator room out back that makes more sense. locked doors, ring of many keys but no key will turn. completely wasted mirror angles that were making me actually kinda anxious waiting to see something in them like damn son wasted opportunity. thrilling to watch this guy go through wads of paper not really looking at anything just pushing them around the great lawyer he is conveniently only finding and looking at plot-relevant things. kid crying mummy mummy while the lady just screams horribly - OMG NOW HES telling the recording exactly what we just heard and saw fuck sakee i love this movie its so dumb spoon feeding everyone - naw spider in his beeeeddd 10/10 best actor. nothing scary has actually happened other than weird lady staring constipatedly at him. he out here gon break his shoulder - sprint sprint sprint PACE PACE PACE – THE DOOR IS OPENNNNN ooohhwuuuhohhh and now he has an axe. he’s a fuck load more of a scardey cat than my main man harry potter and its the nursery - A BALLLLLLLL fell from the SKYYYYY and he doesn’t seem too fazed lmao. spiders just chillin on a chair like yep you’re in trouble. creepy old dolls. a kid just said 'hello’ and laughed, like friendly. 'hello?’  and put a toy in his hand. this is actually interesting. whoops the lights have gone out - PROBS CAUSE HE TURNS THEM ALL ON. nothing even scary happened, the kid said hi and clearly wanted to play then he sprinted away and now is panicking trying to find a torch where is he going its not even that dark back at the generator. cause god forbid- - OMG HE:S LITERALLY GO TTHE WHOLE HOUSE LIT UP mate why do you think it all went out omg im crying he’s freaking out about spider running off oh nah nevermind he’s fine lololol he was freakingggg outttt and then just chills immediately and goes back inside. i love this guy he’s trying so hard. the 70s lampshades are swinging from the roof. would be more eerie if it were actually dark and nah gonna just move over that back to him telling the recording exactly what we just saw. every fucking light. every FUCKING LIGHT. he’s lucky he doesn’t have to pay for electricity. this is the third time we’ve heard this crash and the kid and the lady screaming and he’s going angry about it cause its very noisy and he’s lost his mate’s dog whoops. lol whoops his mate found his own dog half drowned in the marsh and is just chill with it. wait this has all happened in a day?? this fuckin guy. ol mates got him rugged up and getting him outta there cause he collapsed in fright from finding the nursery trashed. that’s it. like yeah its spooky but come on man. is this the climax of the movie??? we an 1hr12min in. think they’re only breifly and vaguely mentioning that to see her means a kid will die and has died - how the fuck are you supposed to make her fearsome if you declaw her and take away that which threatens people: the fact she’s out there causing kids to die. floral bed covers. are they seriously not even going to show the dead kid. they’re just chatting. and again wa– holy fuck these people shes like neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrhhh with a hogwarts cloak on and short curly hair with that yellow face and crooked brows, and he’s got his arms over his face, eyes shut just lying on his bed screaming - fuckin close ass shots i can see up their noses. now he’s taken ill poor mate. also he’s in a different bed?? and now he’s awake and talking some whack shit. has anyone called his wife yet lol. an awesome shot of just him sleeping. and another one. who’s this lady? oh its his wife. what’s she doing here i guess they did call her ahahaha. everything is so bright and blue and white where is the deeeeeath how is any of this scary its just so much chilling out and chatting and lol bye hope you get better have fun talking men. what. the house burned down? what. ol mate seems suss. HE’S SUSS. ol mate definitely burned that shit to the ground. who knows why he didn’t really seem sold on the whole thing but ya know. now they’re wearing like any old clothes they can find. and there’s a soldier too. and they’re training off into the sunset. that woman is not old enough to be this guy’s mother. what. we have cake time. pointless pointless scenes. ooooooooooooooooooooooo he got the ptsd from the horse clackity clack. no woman with hair that perfect sleeps without it in rolls or covered, not back then lol. where’s the deatttttthhh. oooohweeerrroooooo. whats in the box in the box whats in the box todayyy. acting is always 10/10 with this guy, especially the angst and strong emotions. he really doesn’t care for actually investigating these many papers he’s got in these boxes. um. he was in his office. and then the next scene was him entering his office and hanging up his jacket in his office????? wot. THE PAPERS AREN’T IN THE FIREPLACE MATE THEY’RE OUTSIDE OF IT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD HES MAD HES SETTING THE OFFICE ON FIRE HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK MATE. dude you are so fired. fireman is like yeah i found this jerry can of parrafin you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you. omg omg he’s attacking his boss this is so exciting. i think he’s fired lol. can’t believe he’s not been arrested. what do you tell your wife lmao. how do you get references for another job in this career. her hair is so perfect. she wants to talk, he silences her with a kiss, conversation moves on, he silences her with another kiss - typical. now they’re boating. there’s 3 minutes left. are they gonna drown. omg the jumpcuts. SHES STANDING ON WATER. SHES JESUS. ahahhahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DEATH BY TREEEEEEEEEE and i think they did drown omg ahahah my guy, wife kid and baby. that’s fuckin dark. last literally 1 minute of the movie just kill everyone off. what a shit fest i love it.

[jordandesta]

3 / 27 / 19 ━ your character’s mood for the day. 

01. pure water by mustard, migos. “give me the beat, i ride it like a jetski, so many bad bitches they harassin' me, they like me 'cause i rap and be with the athletes.”

02. fall threw by rich the kid, young thug, gunna. “pull off in that lambo quick, hundred racks and a tec in this bitch, quarter mil' on my necklaces, tell your bitch to stop texting me, i've been living so reckless.”

03. splashin by rich the kid. “i flip the money, got my check up, i'm flexing up, but i'm no wrestler, blue cheese pockets got the extras, i stack the money up like tetris, how I got two-fifty from my neck up? how I made it from the hood to a bent truck?”

04. pure cocaine by lil baby. “when your wrist like this, you don't check the forecast, every day it's gon' rain, made a brick through a brick, i ain't whip up shit, this pure cocaine, yeah.”

05. west coast by g eazy, blueface, allblack, yg. “you can't imagine the way that this cash feelin', don't know what's harder, the first or the last million, my last album took care of my grand children, you try to win, cracked you head on the glass ceiling.”

06. middle child by j. cole. “i just poured somethin' in my cup, i've been wantin' somethin' I can feel, promise I am never lettin' up, money in your palm don't make you real.”

07. legacy by off set, travis scott, 21 savage. “i can't hold nothing back, i won't hold you up, i can't fit all my pain in this styro' cup, always talk to myself 'cause it's only us, always deep in my mind, don't know who to trust.”

08. envy me by calboy. “i was fighting some demons, in the field, bitch, i'm deep in, i was raised in the deep end, i know ****** be sinking.”

3 / 28 / 19 ━ songs that remind your character of their children/child.

for jasmine isabelle desta;

01. violent crimes by kanye west. “father forgive me, i'm scared of the karma, 'cause now i see women as somethin' to nurture, not somethin' to conquer, i hope she like nicki, i'll make her a monster, not havin' menages, i'm just being silly.”

02. when i’m gone by eminem. “have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for not the expression, no, literally give an arm for, when they know they're your heart, and you know you are their armor, and you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her.”

03. may i have this dance by francis and the light, chance the rapper. “you've got your, your mother's eyes, you've got your, your grandmother's ring, you've got your daddy's discernment, giirl, you did your thing, oh, give me one more, one, two, one, two, always on beat.”

04. right by you by john legend. “and even when it all becomes too much, when you're growing old and feeling out of touch, listen to this song and just take care, and know that i will be there...yeah, i promise i will, little girl, i'm cryin'.”

for legend magesty desta;

05. i love you so much by dj khaled, chance the rapper. “whatever you want to do, i will support you forever, one thing i can promise you, i love you forever, you're my son, i love you so much, i love you, son, you're my biggest blessing, mommy, daddy, we love you, we love you forever, son, you're the greatest that ever did it.”

06. only one by kanye west.  “hello my only one, remember who you are, you got the world 'cause you got love in your hands, and you're still my chosen one, so can you understand? one day you'll understand, so hear me out, i won't go, no goodbyes, just hello.”

07. new day by jay z. “sins of a father make yo' life ten times harder, i just wanna take ya to a barber, bondin' on charters, all the shit that i never did, teach ya good values, so you cherish it, took me twenty six years to find my path, my only job is cuttin' the time in half.”

08. mockingbird by eminem. “i know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now, but hey, what daddy always tell you? straighten up little soldier, stiffen up that upper lip, what you crying about? you got me.”

3 / 29 / 19 ━ a playlist for your lover or ex lover.

01. worth it by yk osiris. “time is precious, baby girl, let's not let it go by, i just really wanna know, do you love me? don't lie, i know you felt alone, 'cause i been on the road, but i been doin' shows, i swear i ain't doin' you wrong”

02. swervin’ by a boogie wit da hoodie, 6ix9ine. “how you look so perfect on your worst days? double c your purses, you deserve it, ****** in your dm, they be thirsty, and in person, but you're curvin’, curvy little body, love your surface, i’m all on your body, make you nervous”

03. caramel by lloyd. “caramel, drippin' in my bed, yeah you know, what's going through my head, i'm thinking 'bout, getting with you tonight, i'm thinking 'bout, wifing you up for life”

04. kevin’s heart by j. cole. “she my number one, i don't need nothing on the side, said that i was done for good and don't want no more lies, but my phone be blowing up, temptations on my line, i stare at the screen a while before i press decline”

05. more/diamond ring by benny blanco, ty dolla $ign, 6lack. “you know your future brighter than a diamond ring, god damn, i put you on different things, god damn, you gon' make me break the bank, god damn...you're all I ever need, god damn, you mean so much to me”

06. ivy by frank ocean. “in the halls of your hotel, arm around my shoulder so i could tell, how much i meant to meant it sincere back then, we had time to kill back then, you ain't a kid no more, we'll never be those kids again”

07. mrs. variety by leon thoma, tayla parx. “mrs. variety, feels like i'm dating someone different every single week, it's like you know just how to play to every part of me, it's like you know just how to cater to my every need, mrs. variety”

08. cinderella by mac miller, ty dolla $ign. “you in my dreams that's why i sleep all the time, just to hear you say i love you, just to touch you, just to leave you behind, i told you, you don't have to worry, you'll be fine, this the type of thing i heard it happen all the time, yeah, I just wanna see you fly, because your fragrance got me faded, you be keepin' me high”

3 / 30 / 19 ━  songs that hit your character in the feels

01. power trip by j. cole, miguel. “got me up all night, all i'm singing is love songs, she got me up all night, constant drinking and love songs, she got me up all night, down and out with these love songs, she got me up all night, drown it out with these love songs, she got me up all night.”

02. practice by drake. “i can tell that money's got you working, got your body so wet, now we're finally here in person, i taste pain and regret, in your sweat, you've been waiting for me, i can tell that you been practicing.”

03. angel by the weeknd. “cause all I see are wings, i can see your wings, but i know what i am and the life i live, yeah, the life i live, and even though i sin, maybe we are born to live, but i know time will tell if we're meant for this, yeah, if we're meant for this.”

04. don’t by bryson tiller. “get in the ride, left hand is steering the other is gripping your thigh light up a spliff and get high, shawty you deserve what you been missing, looking at you i’m thinking he must be tripping, play this song for him tell him just listen.”

05. best mistake by layla russo, big sean. “hold up, i know love could be a beach with no shore, i done count to ten, lost my temper, and went back to four, i know sometimes it's hard to realize i'm the man that you need, i had a dream we branched out started a family tree.”

06. own it by drake. “next time we fuck, i don't want to fuck, i want to make love, next time we talk, i don't want to just talk, i want to trust, next time I stand tall I want to be standing for you.”

07. thinkin bout you by frank ocean. “yes, of course i remember, how could I forget? how you feel? and though you were my first time, a new feel, it won't ever get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive.”

08. come and see me by partynextdoor, drake. “i'll admit i'm sorry when i feel i'm truly sorry, things change, people change, feelings change too, never thought the circumstances woulda changed you.”

3 / 31 / 19 ━  a playlist for your character’s best friend. ( squad )

01. ni**as in paris by jay z, kanye west.

02. look at me now by chris brown, lil wayne, busta rhymes. 

03. rack city by tyga. 

04. swimming pools (drank) by kendrick lamar. 

05. gold digger by kanye west, jamie foxx. 

06. v.3005 by childish gambino.

07. the motto by drake, lil wayne.

08. bedrock by young money, lloyd.

4 / 01 / 19 ━ road trip playlist

01. hey jude by the beatles.

02. mr. jones by counting crows.

03. wonderwall by oasis.

04. hurricane by bob dylan.

05. mr. brightside by the killers. 

06. scar tissue by the red hot chili peppers.

07. all star by smashmouth.

08. stacy’s mom by fountains of wayne.

4 / 02 / 19 ━ three songs that make your character cry… every. single. time.

01. acid rain by chance the rapper. “my big homie died young; just turned older than him, i seen it happen, i seen it happen, i see it always, he still be screaming, i see his demons in empty hallways, i trip to make the fall shorter.”

02. perkys calling by future. “Iineed better thoughts, i need better vibes, focus on the top and let my ***** slide, i need more advice and ain't got no time, hustlin' do it right, feel like i waited a life time.”

03. u by kendrick lamar. “you shoulda filled that black revolver blast a long time ago, and if those mirrors could talk it would say "you gotta go", and if i told your secrets, the world'll know money can't stop a suicidal weakness.”

4 / 03 / 19 ━ free day, we just wanna see you be creative. ( throwbacks )

01. ambitonz az a ridah by 2pac. 

02. gin and juice by snoop dog, daz dillinger  

03. all falls down by kanye west, syleena johnston.

04. mrs. officer by lil wayne, bobby v, kidd kidd.

05. i’m n luv (wit a stripper) by t-pain, mike jones.

06. ms. jackson by outkast.

07. smack that by akon, eminem.

08. laffy taffy by d4l.

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Diego

Edie: Aygo! I got a pitch, you buying? Diego: give me more to go on Edie: oh yea, you too young to know how it usually goes on casting couches, my bad lil homie Edie: you got any super 8 atm? Diego: Can get some Diego: a day or two? Edie: what u gotta clear ur schedule big man Edie: u on ur business boi respect Edie: well, i think we could do most of it in a day buuuuuuut i gotta secure a car to trash and i haven't convinced iggy he don't need that fuckin' hippie van so that'll be another day as and when, ye? Diego: I can give you that Diego: on your own with the car situ Edie: ye ye ye i won't get u in the shit Edie: what kinda big sister would i be?! Edie: but, similar vein, don't tell mum and dad where we shooting okay Edie: you'll be safe with me but they'd never sign off on it ya feel Diego: understood Diego: where we going? Edie: don't u like surprises? 😜 Diego: hard no Diego: get a car that goes so we can store the equipment before killing it I'd like that Edie: What about ones you can't hear, better or worse? cos I've got some fireworks that might be cool Edie: you don't like surprises but you wanna DIE Edie: boi i can't drive! Edie: I'll see if I can get someone to take us but if not, hitch ur wagon to my pushbike Edie: just like old times n'awwh Diego: I'll steer you do the pedals Diego: fireworks smell bad but I won't do fart jokes if you want the colours Edie: if we find a motor that runs Edie: know there's one that the O'Dwyer lads left under that dodgy underpass Edie: but I say we got only so long 'fore that's completely fucked/burned out Edie: time's a wasting boyo Diego: Can be ready day after tomorrow if you are Edie: not a cult classic but how you rate it? jake's usually a fittie but he's pretty dorky in that Diego: the special effects were bomb for the era Diego: I can give you the same commercial success with my skills Edie: dope 💎 Edie: i'll storyboard lowkey for u but i'm happy for it to be mostly in the moment real shit Edie: u can use editing magic after if ur so inclined lil dude Diego: send me the song Diego: I'll get a feel Edie: hoe u best hop on my soundcloud rn Edie: gimme them listens Edie: EDieM as you clearly forgot 😤 Edie: newest track on there Diego: I remembered how to sign it, giving you that promo to my friends, but yeah Diego: confusion Diego: you're you're name sign to me Edie: 🙌 ayo, jokes aside about being a musician with a load of deaf fans Edie: always amping that bass up so should be feeling it literal Diego: capitalise Diego: nobody else is Diego: take the silent disco concept and make it fresh Edie: 💸💸💸 Edie: i'm into it Edie: fuck the mainstream, making music for the kids at places like ur school n mine n all the other's who a lil fucked up Diego: Put that into your storyboard Edie: 😏 Edie: mightbebreakingintomyschool Edie: itseasyandriskfreedoneitbefore Edie: hey, d'ya reckon we could get our hands on some hearing aids and shit Edie: not about to suggest we break into your school, more to nick=not worth it Diego: Old people's home? Edie: yassss Edie: shame our grandparents are young as shit and we love 'em enough not to do it to 'em Edie: i'll give 'em a free performance, they'd LOVE that Diego: ma has my baby stuff kept cos she loves me real deeply Diego: won't be enough but its a start Edie: 🙄 lowkey a hoarder Edie: imma make billie n her go round all the antique shops, keep an eye out for those real old school ear trumpets Edie: that'd be sick Diego: my teacher has one of those! ill ask if we can borrow it Diego: he loves showing it around Edie: 👏 i've got a vision so hard now Edie: u can ask if any of ur friends wanna be in it but we'll have to do that 'round here Edie: look like pied piper paedo taking too many of yous away on a jolly Edie: esp. with a 🎥 in tow Edie: lord help me Diego: I'll do seamless cuts Diego: there's a girl that NEEDS to be in it Edie: I see how it is Edie: ur REAL muse Edie: better not be too cute, stealing my shine Edie: i'm the ⭐ remember Diego: Understood Diego: She's a good singer if you do need backup Diego: [Sends her soundcloud] Edie: oooooookuuurrr lil mama Edie: i see u Edie: if she's down then we can make it happen sure Edie: get you your boo thang 😍 Diego: I'll ask Diego: don't out me Edie: gon' get all shy? Edie: use your director swag Edie: just don't get #metoo wid it, Tarantino, alright? Diego: She's shy Diego: and with that voice Edie: or playing it Edie: best be chill then lil one Diego: You think she's faking coy? Edie: meh, might be too young to know how Edie: but that's what girls do Diego: do you? Edie: i'm not telling u all my signature moves! Edie: depends Edie: lots of lads don't like it if a girl is funnier, more mouthy and opinionated than they are, if that's what you're after, then sure Edie: some boys want that at the start, so they can 'tame' you and have that on their ego, so you end up pretending later Edie: but you'll get it as you grow Diego: Everyone's thinking too hard Diego: I just like her, she's nice and funny and talented Edie: you sweet sweet child Edie: don't ever grow up k Edie: once u hit 10, 11, you'll be a right dickhead Edie: always happens, the girls usually a bit before 'cos we're always ahead of yous Diego: Are not! Diego: and I'll be sick when I'm older you mean Edie: are so! Edie: we'll see Edie: not in my experience but prove me wrong Diego: I'll be the first Diego: Be ready Edie: 😂 believe it when i see it Edie: guess Junie isn't so bad but that's 'cos he's gay Edie: its different Diego: He's not? Edie: oh yeah shh Edie: keep that under your hat Edie: deal with that one later Diego: more importantly Diego: half the school want to be in this Diego: they're telling me Edie: ✋ hahaha yes brotha Edie: can do so much more with a full cast Edie: i'll make sure its fun, even if they can't come for the illegal bits Edie: love these kids, so hype 😂 Diego: im loving the song Diego: Feeling it Edie: forreal? Edie: u can be brutal, my ego can take it 😉 Diego: don't need Diego: it's bomb Edie: knew u was my fave Edie: feel free to rub it in w the others Diego: They'll state me a liar Diego: but you're on to something with these beats and you need to be told Edie: i got ya back Edie: i'll start bein a real cunt to 'em sharpish, like Edie: no room for doubt lmao Edie: gotta when u gassin' me up so hard Diego: ulterior motives Diego: can I use some of the footage for school Diego: If it turns out it's one less essay Edie: 'course you can Edie: its probably not all gon' be sfw, don't need the 'rents saying i got u in shit as prev. mentioned, but the salvageable shots, go for your life Diego: I'll do extra editing don't want you in the same trouble Diego: I'm trying to film what we do much as the whole fam'll stand it Diego: personal project Edie: Fair 'nuff, fill your boots Edie: I ain't camera shy Edie: And Rio and Gracie can't pretend they are either Edie: always pouting looking like braindead fish 😂 Diego: Got a mountain of footage of them already Diego: Only been doing a few days sly Diego: I want Billie's vibe but I can't catch her Diego: Iggy same Edie: Shoulda known 😂 Edie: yeah good luck with the rest, either too busy for the fam or moody lil fuckers Edie: take ya pick Edie: self included usually obvs but you know, wanna do this music thing proper so Edie: got 🍀 kid Diego: arrgh Diego: facts Diego: I'll keep at it Diego: maybe I'll strike it with them Edie: get gus to round 'em up Edie: hard to say no to Diego: Now that's an idea Diego: Bound to work Edie: i'd pay for that energy Edie: i do 😂 Diego: hahahah Diego: put a price on it Edie: if i could bottle what he has i'd be laughing Edie: don't give a shit what nobody thinks man, what a cool kid Diego: his piss bottles itself some of the time Diego: you're there Edie: ya nastys Edie: secured a ride Edie: ur equip is welcome Edie: but i gotta go now, favour fo' favour Diego: I'm in too then Diego: don't do anything I wouldn't Edie: 👌 Edie: like i said, don't grow up Edie: need that childlike wonder for my vision Edie: catch you on the flipside mofo Diego: not in my plans Diego: enjoy yours

[thelastspeecher]

Stan’s Wife

Once again, I suck at naming things.  I apologize for that.  But this is the sequel to the blurb I posted yesterday, for the AU where Ford finds out that Stan is a stay-at-home dad when he goes to get help in 1982.  In this little blurb, Ford meets Stan’s wife and finds out that she doesn’t take well to her newfound brother-in-law basically shitting on her idyllic home life.  Enjoy.

               Ford woke up to the smell of something cooking.  He made his way out of the guest bedroom and into the living room cautiously.  After he had explained his reasons for visiting, as well as why he didn’t want to talk to a McGucket, Stan had insisted he take a nap.

               “Ya look like shit, Ford.  Get some shuteye.  When my wife gets here, we can talk more.”

               “You got Daddy in trouble.”  Ford was startled from his recollection by an accusatory voice. He looked down.  Danny was standing in front of him, her diminutive arms crossed and brown eyes narrowed.  

               “Yer daddy got his own self in trouble,” a female voice said in a thick southern accent.  Ford looked over.  A short woman with caramel-colored hair and a very large nose was standing in the kitchen, wearing a clearly hand-embroidered apron.  “Let that be a lesson.  Ya don’t lie ‘bout yer fam’ly.”  

               She’s clearly passed on some of her traits to my nieces.  In fact, she was standing much in the same way that Danny was.  

               “You’re Stan’s wife?” he double-checked.  She nodded.  

               “Though I like to think of it as bein’ Stan’s my husband.  You must be Ford, the brother-in-law I didn’t know I had.”

               “You’d be Ms. McGucket, then,” Ford said.  She grinned crookedly, and it made Ford’s heart ache.

               That’s Fiddleford’s smile.

               “Actually, it’s Dr. McGucket,” she clarified.  “But ya can call me Angie.”  Angie wiped her hands on her apron.  “I was just ‘bout to send someone to fetch ya.  Dinner’s ready.  Spaghetti and meatballs.  It’s all homemade and all kosher.”

               Kosher?  Ford looked at Stan, who was setting bowls on the table.  

               “Stan, do you practice?” he asked.  Stan shrugged.

               “Not really.  But Angie and I agreed that the girls should grow up knowin’ some of the family culture. Which means they’re bein’ raised with a weird mixture of Catholicism and Judaism, but eh.  It works out pretty well.”  He glanced over at Angie.  “Like our wedding.”  Angie smiled.

               “Yeah, Stan, why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?” Ford asked. Stan raised an eyebrow.

               “Ya already know why.  I didn’t want ya to show up and start yellin’ ‘bout how I ruined your life in front of my fiancée’s entire family.”  He grimaced. “Her folks are still suspicious about how soon the girls were born after we got married.”  Stan placed the last bowl down.  “Hey, lil monsters, get yourselves in here.  It’s dinnertime!”  Danny abandoned her post in front of Ford to run to the kitchen, where she was summarily lifted into her chair.  There were quick footsteps behind Ford, and Daisy rushed past eagerly.

               “You gon’ eat, Uncle Ford?” Daisy asked.  “It’s friendly food.”  Ford walked to the table and reluctantly sat down.  

               “‘Friendly food’?” he asked.  Daisy nodded.

               “It’s how we described kosher,” Stan explained, putting Daisy in her chair. “Easier than the whole spiel.  At least, right now.”  He kissed Angie on the cheek and took a seat next to her. Ford was taken aback again by the domesticity of the entire situation.  

               My wild twin really did settle down. And it’s clearly a loving relationship. If Mom ever found out Pops lied to her like that…she wouldn’t even talk to him, let alone let him kiss her.  

               Dinner passed by quickly.  The food was excellent, not that Ford was surprised.  Fiddleford had always had a knack for making amazing meals, something he attributed to being taught how to cook by his mother.  Ford watched with interest as Stan and Angie playfully bantered with each other, wiped sauce off their daughters’ faces, and attempted to engage the girls in meaningful conversations.  Before he knew it, he had finished his meal.

               “It’s 7 o’clock, girls,” Stan said.  “Ya know what that means.”  Daisy leapt out of her chair.

               “You’ll never catch me alive!” she shouted gleefully before bolting. Danny followed suit.  Stan stood up with a chuckle.

               “I’m comin’ for ya,” he growled playfully, stalking after his daughters.  There were squeals of joy from somewhere else inside the house as he left Ford’s field of vision.  Angie began to clear the table, humming to herself.  

               “What, exactly, is going on?” Ford asked.  Angie smiled fondly.  

               “It’s a bathtime ritual thing.  Stan started it.  He’s a goofball, that husband of mine.”  

               “Gotcha!” Stan shouted.  There were more delighted squeals.  Angie chuckled.

               “Stan’s a heck of a father, by the way.  After my maternity leave ended, we couldn’t find anyone to watch the girls.  Well, not anyone that Stan thought was good enough for his babies.  Stan told me ‘Ya know what, I’ve always hated my job anyways’ and quit that day.”

               “So he’s a stay-at-home dad?”

               “Yessir.”  Angie deposited the dirty dishes in the sink and began to clean them.  “I appreciate how involved he is in raisin’ ‘em.  I’m pretty busy most days, so it eases my mind to know that they’ve got one of their parents watchin’ ‘em.”

               “Wow.”

               “What are ya impressed by?”

               “Honestly?  All of it,” Ford said.  Angie looked at him, bemused.  “I never thought Stan would settle down, or have a kid, or, if I’m being completely truthful, if he did have a kid, I didn’t suspect he would make an excellent father.” Angie pursed her lips.  “I mean, I thought he’d be a serviceable one.  But not the one I saw today.  It’s not like we got any ideas from how to be a good father from our own.”  Angie nodded silently.

               “That’s understandable.  But it’s fer the best if ya don’t say that ya weren’t expectin’ Stan to be a good dad. It means a lot to him that his kids adore him so much.  He’s put a lot of stake in his abilities as a father.  He don’t need to hear that negativity from his twin.”

               “…Of course.”  A few minutes passed while Angie continued to wash the dishes.  “So, you’re a doctor?”

               “I have a doctorate, yes.  In herpetology.  I’m head of amphibian and reptile care at the San Diego Zoo.”

               “That’s incredibly impressive.  Not that I’m surprised.  Your older brother was a revolutionary engineer.  His designs…I’d never seen anything like them.”  Angie paused.  

               “How do you know Fiddleford?”  

               Shit!

               “All right, kids are in bed,” Stan said, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat.  “Now, we can talk.”  Angie abandoned the dishes to join her husband at the table.

               “Ford, how do ya know my older brother?” Angie repeated firmly.  Ford swallowed.

               “He, uh, he was my research assistant.”

               “Fiddleford was hired by a man named Stanford Pines, though.”

               “That’s my name.  Ford is short for Stanford,” Ford said, slightly perplexed.  Angie leaned back in her chair.

               “All right, which one of ya changed yer last name?”  

               “What?” Ford asked.  Angie turned to Stan.

               “Stanley!”

               “Hey, you knew I was a grifter.  I went through a lot of different names.  And I ended up takin’ yours anyways so-”

               “Ya didn’t tell me yer real name!  Ya didn’t tell me that, and neither did ya tell me ya had a twin brother!”

               “Angie-”

               “We’re married.  We have two beautiful children.  We need to be able to trust each other with our secrets.”  Stan looked down, abashed.  “I hope ya know where yer sleepin’ tonight.”  Angie leaned in.  “An’ it ain’t our bed.”

               “Yeah, figured,” Stan mumbled.  He glowered at Ford.  “Way to go, Sixer, Tuesdays are the nights we get it on.”

               “I wasn’t the one who lied to your wife.”

               “Stanford,” Angie interrupted, “do ya know where Fiddleford is?  My fam’ly hasn’t heard from him in so long.  We’re awful worried ‘bout him.”  A deep discomfort knotted in Ford’s stomach.

               “He’s in Gravity Falls.  But…he’s not himself.”

               “What do ya mean?”

               “He’s lost his sanity.”  Angie’s eyes filled with tears.  “I’m so sorry, Angie.  I- it’s my fault.”  

               “Wh- how?”

               “It was through the course of our research that he- shit!”  Ford scrabbled backward, falling out of his chair in the process.  Angie had launched herself at him.  Stan grabbed her torso, preventing her from actually harming him.

               “Angie, what the hell are ya doin’?” Stan asked her.  

               “He has a son!” Angie yelled at Ford.  “A fam’ly.  An’ it’s yer fault that he’s gone?  Worse than gone, he’s there in body but he ain’t there in mind!”

               “Angie, chill!” Stan hissed.  “He explained it to me earlier.  It’s not completely his fault.”  He nodded at Ford.  “Tell her.”

               “Well-” Ford started.

               “Ma?”  Ford turned around.  Danny and Daisy were standing in the living room nervously.  “What’s going on?” Danny asked.

               “Nothin’, sweetie,” Angie said.  “Yer ma just got a bit overexcited is all.  Go back to bed.”  Danny and Daisy shook their heads in unison.  

               “There’s monsters in the room,” Daisy said quietly.  Angie sighed.  

               “This again?”

               “Ma, they’re there!  But not when you’re around,” Danny insisted.  Stan let go of Angie.  She walked over to her children.

               “All right, all right.  I’ll come sleep with ya tonight.  That make ya feel better?”  Danny nodded and grabbed Angie’s shirt.  Angie looked over at Stan and Ford.  “Stan, sleep on the couch.  Ford, help yourself to the guest bedroom.  This conversation ain’t over.”  After Angie and the girls had left, Ford turned to Stan.

               “You’re not going to tell her you agreed to help me?”

               “I’ll tell her,” Stan said.  “Tomorrow. When she’s a bit less…murder-y.”

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 3.11.2017

after a rather rough week on the hot 100, bob! doesn’t know what he’s fighting for or why he has to scream

27) "Tunnel Vision," by Kodak Black

There’s this song, if you’ll permit me a second to discuss something I like, by Frank Turner called “Recovery,” and it has one of my all-time favorite lyrics: “Broken people can get better if they really want to/At least, that’s what I have to tell myself if I am hoping to survive.” To tie this to Kodak Black, we must first go on another tangent: Casey Affleck took home an Oscar for his performance in Manchester by the Sea. Casey Affleck settled two sexual harassment lawsuits out of court. These two facts co-exist, and while I'm in the camp that thinks maybe we should not be giving our highest honors to horrible people, I am also in the camp that suggests that flawed people should still be allowed to find themselves and make great art. I supported Michael Vick in his comeback to the NFL; should I not do the same for Casey Affleck? Vick went to jail, Affleck settled with the victims. When do we forgive someone for their crimes? That isn’t a question with an answer. What I need to see, though, is some act of contrition, of a debt being paid to society on the part of the offender. There needs to be a sign, just a subtle little glimmer, that broken people can get better, if they really want to. I don’t get that here. I don’t even get a sense this dude’s aware he’s broken. When the second line of the first verse of your song is, "I can get any girl I want, any girl I want" -- hell, when the line "I need me a lil' baby who gon' listen" is repeated in the chorus -- I am disinclined to believe there is any contrition on the artist's end, and I, as a human being and not a court of law, am under no obligation to afford anyone the benefit of the doubt. I’m not listening to this dude again.

41) "How Would You Feel (Paean)," Ed Sheeran

The best thing I can say for this song is, a lot of people learned a new word because of its title! It's nice that our boy is committed to expanding vocabularies! But yeah, this is an Ed Sheeran Ballad, it sure is. Again, like Bruno Mars last week, cheesy Ed Sheeran is always a threat to appear at any given time, but unlike Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran has yet to add a new dimension to his schmaltz. There is a valiant attempt at a Falsetto Moment, and I appreciate the gumption it took to go for it, but this is the sort of thing I was afraid of when I decided to undertake this silly project, the whole "Ed Sheeran is going to release the same ballad as he ever has" of it all. We’ve got at least two more down the pipeline, too, most likely. :/

44) "Love," by Lana del Rey

...Man, this is a rough week, innit? Might could be I'm just thrown off by the lack of breezy stoner jams on the occasion of the 3.11 chart. This one, though, this is... I'm trying to find the right word here, but the only one coming to mind is "boring," and there's not a lot of critical value in that word. But! I mean! There are thousands of songs about being young and in love, and none of them make that feeling sound as lifeless. I think I'm missing something. I never fucked with Lana del Rey because, before I started this chart, I didn't have to, and I never felt like I was missing much. Right now tho? I wish I’d been a little more into her. ‘Cuz like I’m kinda aware I think that Lana del Rey has some sort of persona thing going, and if that’s correct, understanding what that is is likely key to understanding what is supposed to work about this song. Right now I just kinda hear a version of Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps” where everything is worse.

46) "Draco," by Future 49) "Mask Off," by Future 54) "Rent Money," by Future 91) "Super Trapper," by Future 99) "Zoom," by Future

Hey! I actually listened to the AAA release which litters the Hot 100 this week! That's a timesave, right there! Future is actually the most I've ever liked Future. With a lot of his other stuff, it kinda feels like he's going through the motions, bleakness here, despair there, trap beat, we did it, but here, I dunno, maybe it's the fact there hasn't been anything new from Future in a year, but there's a different energy on this album, I found myself enjoying it all the way through. I've actually been putting off HNDRXX simply because I want a little more time with Future, so I guess I lied in the last meandering sentence, I do know, it really is the fact there hasn't been a new Future release in a year. Still, I endorse Future. As far as these songs, I agree with the nation’s enjoyment of them. My favorite ("POA") is missing, which, enh, but "Draco" and "Rent Money" are clear highlights, and the other three are pleasant, and keep close these kind words for Future as we steel ourselves for three more Future albums before the solstice.

52) "Heavy," by Linkin Park ft./Kiiara

fucking christ I take no issues with the song on its own, the song's actually really good. I see this is a Julia Michaels joint! She is dope at this songwriting thing. I take issue with the fact that it's being delivered by Linkin Park. I just, I think that, it's hard t -- I keep imagining some 14-year-old, they're in their older brother's car, they're driving to a Shake Shack because that's what you do on a summer night, and this song comes on the radio, and it intrigues the 14-year-old. "Who is this?" they ask their brother. "Look at the fucking ticker, ya putz, this bit is clearly set in 2017. Use Shazam," the brother says, so the 14-year-old looks, and they see the name scroll across: Linkin Park. Intrigued, they go home and research Linkin Park, and they see Linkin Park has been around for over twenty years! "Incredible!" the 14-year-old says, elated to have discovered a band with such a deep back catalogue, and they're going to start with the first single: "One Step Closer." Do you understand what I'm getting at, here? Do you understand the dystopian future I am laying out before you? Our nation's #teens are in danger of discovering nu-metal. Say what you will about Ko[backwards R]n, but they have never stopped making the same shitty music they were making in 2001, and thus they are STAYING in 2001 where they BELONG, only to be visited by people already in their fanbase. The youngest living Ko[backwards R]n fan is 29, and that’s how we need it to stay. Linkin Park should be a whisper on the lips of those who have always believed. They shouldn't be chilling on Top 40 radio with Future and Selena Gomez. They should not be dueting with starlets, they should be inquiring as to Amy Lee’s availability. This is reckless endangerment of a nation’s youth. An actual living #teen may enjoy this song, and two months later they’ll have just discovered Staind and be watching the "It's Been a While" video while leaving the comment, "I was born in the wrong era," because they just heard the Hybrid Theory remix album and crAWLING WAS THEIR FAVORITE FIRST BETSY DEVOS NOW THIS HOW COULD WE LET DOWN OUR NATION'S YOUTH LIKE THIS FUCKING GODDAMNIT

56) "Something Just Like This," by The Chainsmokers ft./Coldplay

There is a tiny, faint drum fill I'm not 100% sure I didn't imagine at the 1:50 mark of this song. There was something of value in this song, which, given what this song is, I will gladly take. "I've been reading books of old/The legends and the myths" Classic literature! I'm glad Coldplay's taking time out of their busy schedule to broaden their horizons. "Achilles and his gold/Hercules and his gifts" Ah, and they're sitting down with some Greek mythology, too! How learned of Coldplay! The word "gold" doesn't appear on the Wikipedia page for Achilles, so I'm not sure what Coldplay is reading, but I'm glad they're reading it! "Spiderman's co Ah, yes, of course. Those classic tomes, the Spiderman comics! Nearly lost to time, they were, when the most recent reboot only made $750m at the box office! HOO BOY it says a lot about the week that was that this was probably only my fourth-least-favorite song. Always knew there'd be weeks like this.

Should I even do a Top 20 this week? There's only one new song. ...I'ma do a Top 20. It's routine. It's what we have, together. 20) "My Old Man," by Zac Brown Band (2.25) 19) "Castle on the Hill," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 18) "Call Casting," by Migos (2.18) 17) "Running Back," by Wale ft./Lil Wayne (2.11) 16) "I'm Better," by Missy Elliott ft./Lamb (2.18) 15) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo (1.14) 14) "Everyday," Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 13) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 12) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 11) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 10) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 9) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 8) "It Ain't Me," Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 7) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 6) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 5) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) swear to ra if my favorite song of my year with this project is a major lazer song that didn’t even spend multiple weeks on the chart i’ma throw a stool through my window. should i rerank? i feel i should rerank. “iSpy” is dope and “Issues” is dope and people have heard those songs. i -- ah fuck this wretched week.