#it gets so mixed urp

[maplesyrupsainz]

the new comment section is so confusing or am i dumb af

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Have a lovely Christmas Eve day, love! Filled with warmth and love and laziness, @littleredandbigbad

Morty stumbled around, blindly, tears blurring his sight. His nose was stuffed up, snot mixed with ugly tears ran across his face. His traitorous heart aching with the familiar pain of unrequited love.

He had dealt with a lot of things in his short life, most of them because of his genius of a grandfather, his distant sister, alcoholic mother and idiotic father.

He had dealt with the meanest people, bullying, ostracizing and being beaten to half dead. He had dealt with running away from various authorities, stabbed, exploded and tortured. He had dealt with abandonment, betrayal, belittlement and verbal abuse. He had dealt with depression and anxiousness.

And now he dealt with unrequited love.

He was familiar with unrequited crushes, they were heartbreaking, and awful, but-

Unrequited love was something he would never wish for anybody. Rick was an asshole already, an alcoholic, uncaring, manipulative piece of shit. Loving him? Being in love with him? It made everything a complete disaster.

Fuck him being Morty's grandfather - after everything, incest didn't mean much to him. But that uncaring attitude? That unfeeling single-mindedness? That was the problem.

Sobs broke from his chest, his lungs contrasting painfully. He slapped his palms over his mouth to silence himself, tears falling freely from his eyes. He didn't want to alert anybody. Not that they would do anything, his family was notorious for looking the other way when he had a problem, or even laughing at him and blaming him for them.

He didn't want any of that.

Barging into his room, not even bothering to lock the door behind him, rushed to his bed, throwing himself on it. Pulling his pillow onto his face, the sobs came more freely now, shaking his whole body. His slight frame shivering on his bed, wishing he could be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

The worst part was that nothing happened. Not really. Rick was his usual self, drinking and talking trash about everything, telling Morty how useless he was. He should have been used to it. It was their normal; but it hit him so hard it never before.

"I-I-I s-should make a clone. F-fuck's sake, Mo-urp-rty, can y-you be more useless?!" Rick's voice echoed in his mind. He had heard worse things from him. It didn't even rank among the fifty worst things Rick said about him. Yet…

Morty cursed himself for allowing everything to pile up. He should have quit before, he should have accepted that he wasn't the help Rick was looking for. He should have allowed Rick to look for a new Morty in the Citadel. There must have been a perfect one for him, there, right? Out of all the infinite Mortys, there must have existed at least one whose usefulness was more than just being dumb enough to cover Rick's brainwaves.

Click. Steps. A burp.

His body froze up, like a prey's who was in the presence of a predator. He didn't dare to look up. To see the disgust in Rick's eyes. The contempt on his face.

"MooOrTyy," growled Rick. Usually, he adored the way his grandfather said his name, like a song, like something lyrical. That time? He felt he was going to vomit.

He lifted his head, slowly, hoping Rick would get bored and leave, but when he glanced over at his grandpa, Rick's uncharacteristically emotionless eyes staring into Morty's.

Embarrassment flooded him, starting from his clenched stomach. Fresh tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, his breathing became labored, painful.

Rick swallowed a mouthful of alcohol from his half-empty bottle, and burped right into Morty's face. It was so normal, he didn't even twitch when the smell hit his clogged nose.

"W-w-was it that bitch, J-jessica? G-got a b-break up me-urp-ssage fr-from your little g-girlfriend?"

Morty blinked, cluelessly staring up to his tall grandpa, his big, Bambi eyes filled with tears.

"J-j-j-jessica?"

Rick growled, his knuckles on his bottle turning into bloodless white. "T-that little b-uorgh-itch!"

"I- n-no, w-what?" Morty stammered, sitting up. "I-i-i didn't t-talk w-with her."

"T-then why the t-urp-ears, MooOrTyy? T-tears a-are useless, e-even for s-s-ourp-omebody useless, l-like yo-urp-u!"

Morty could almost hear his heart breaking into pieces. At the same time, determination filled his body. If Rick didn't want him, he already thought him as useless, then- then he had no reason to hold himself back.

"F-f-f-fuck you!"

Rick's eyes widened. "W-what?"

"F-fuck y-y-you, R-rick! Y-you are a p-piece of s-shit, a-an awful h-human being, a-a-a- cruel! Y-you are cruel a-and h-heartless, a-a-a-and I hate you! H-hear that? I-I-I hate you!"

Morty advanced, their bodies pressing together. Rick's hand was clutching one of Morty's wrists in a painful grip, his nails pressing into the tender skin. Morty's other hand grabbed Rick's lab coat, pulling him closer. He could smell Rick's intoxicating scent, making him feel dizzy, the previous anger slowly disappearing, leaving nothing behind, just hopeless love.

The old man's eyes were full of suppressed emotions, yet the smile on his face was a cruel thing, full of teeth.

"A-are you g-going to kiss me, MooOr-urp-Tyy?" He asked, his face blanking.

Morty's heart stopped, then, wanting to catch up again, it doubled its speed. K-kiss? His eyes unconsciously trailing at Rick's slim, bloodless lips. His grandfather's mouth opened, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, leaving a shiny trail of saliva behind.

The young boy swallowed.

And kiss he did.

It was much softer than the previous angry burst of aggressiveness, showing all the things he was a coward to say.

Rick's lips were warm and soft, yielding under Morty's curious tongue. He sighed into Rick's mouth, whose grip on his wrist tightened, and another hand sneaked around his tiny waist, pulling Morty close to himself.

"I-I-I l-lied. I d-d-d-don't hate you. I l-love you," Morty whispered into Rick's alcohol-scented mouth.

The older man burped, and said, "Y-y-you might be useless… b-but you are my u-useless grandson. R-rick and Morty, for a-a-a hundred years."

It was better than any love confession could ever dream to be.

[stillfoodforguys]

There was a huge crowd at my local bar for a beer festival tonight, and I was just one of many guys downing an assortment of pints one after another. It was obvious that some people could handle their drink better than others though. When I reached out to pick up a tankard I’d left beside me, some drunken idiot grabbed my wrist and accused me of being a thief, having completely lost track of his own drink somewhere.

The tall, pot-bellied dude tugged me towards him, leaning in so that his face was a few inches away from mine. The smell of booze already filled the room, but the burp he failed to hold back as he shouted at me gave me a concentrated blast of it. “Hey, keep your hands *urp* off my beer!” He only listened to me argue with him for a few seconds about the drinks ownership before getting bored, deciding to deal with me in the way he thought would teach me a lesson I didn’t rightfully deserve.

He took the hand he’d grabbed and shoved it into his mouth, quickly swallowing my arm and taking hold of my waist to keep me from escaping. I tried to pull myself free, but his throat was so powerful that his greedy swallowing finished me off in less than a minute. The pool of beer in his gut swirled around as I curled up inside, gasping for breath in what little air space remained inside him.

“Hmmf, that’ll teach you!” The drunken bro huffed triumphantly and slapped his belly, taking one swig of the pint he’d stolen from me before suddenly realising something. “And don’t be drinking any of the beer in my *urp* belly, that’s all mine!”

Did he seriously think I would want that? Whatever he’d guzzled down was already mixed up with his saliva and stomach acid, and soon to be the melted down remains of my body.

[tribbetherium]

The Early Temperocene: 145 million years post establishment

Just Like Cold Times: The Austral Tundra of South Ecatoria

The Temperocene is characterized by the warming of the global climate, a change brought about by multiple geological, atmospheric, orbital and oceanic factors that together cause the overall climate of HP-02017 to fluctuate in tremendous, variable cycles spanning tens of millions of years, some cycles cooler and some warmer, with the coldest cycle since the introduction of life being the age of the Glaciocene: a time when vast ice sheets stretched almost to the equator, blanketing much of the land in tundra and taiga.

Those years are long over now. The ice has receded with the warming of the clime, and new biomes in the temperate and tropical zones have returned in the great springtime of the Temperocene. But the ice has not completely gone away, with a few regions at the polar extremes still experiencing significant amounts of ice and snow at least part of the year. And on the continent of South Ecatoria, its northern half long since merged with Mesoterra and Arcuterra, a small fragment of the Glaciocene lingers on: the Austral Tundra, where a mix of flat plains, mountainous regions and coastal shore intermingle in sharing a cold climate that experiences mild summers and snowy winters even in a warmer age.

The shores, in particular, still freeze over in winter, forming floating ice floes, and the cold upwellings of the ocean currents are still very productive in this zone, causing cold-water reefs formed of quillnobs to spring up along its coasts and zooplankton to thrive in the shallows, in turn feeding shoals of shrish and pescopods and skwoids and other marine life, which in turn provides for higher rungs of the food chain. While cricetaceans sometimes migrate south to these regions during the winter to feed, the year-round residents of the beach are basal, semiaquatic bayvers-- less-specialized relatives of the cricetaceans-- that can be found settling ashore in large groups, finding safety in numbers as they are clumsy and slow on land.

Bignose urps (Austropinnipomys megalonasus) gather here each night in huge noisy hordes numbering in the hundreds of thousands and filling the air with their rumbling honks. Agile and athletic hunters of small aquatic prey, they rocket effortlessly through the waves as they dart into swarms of shrish to grab a mouthful. Their neighbors, the slower, more bulky pegtoothed gnawrus (Odobenomys barognathus), instead feed on hard-shelled, slower prey, such as bottom-dwelling shrabs, shelled notiluses, and even the quillnob reefs themselves, which they pulverize with their powerful crushing jaws and blunt, flat-topped teeth. In the autumn when such food sources are available in the greatest quantities, the gnawruses gorge themselves greedily to pack on fat for the cold winter months. At times, they feed so ravenously that they are severely glutted by the time they retire to shore, and in this state enough stress causes them to messily lose their meals on the shore, to spectacular and hideous results. Even then, on a good day, a gnawrus may regurgitate fragments of shell it has ingested, in which case either way, nature displays its resourcefulness in ways not always pretty.

These heaps of gnawrus vomit piles strewn about the shore attract flocks of black-crowned arctinycts (Arctynyctus polyphagus): sea ratbats that act as the beach's cleanup crew. These omnivores will eat anything, from shrish to carrion to drifting kelp if they can get it, and regurgitated matter, present on the beach in copious amounts, are a free meal they will not hesitate to take advantage of. Indeed, they consume these with such relish that once a gnawrus begins making the telltale spastic gags of nausea the arctinycts quickly begin circling in anticipation, and the moment the great beast finally spews the flock descends upon the steaming heap, fighting and squabbling over the undigested chunks of seafood served to them in a putrid buffet.

Other flyers of these coasts, however, live a less stomach-churning lifestyle, such as the ruby-throated wandergander (Ornithomurius erythrodeirus), which has evolved much longer legs than its surface-skimming kin. It forages for food on the shores at low tide, picking off small crustaceans and any beached sealife, and hunts in the shallow tide pools to pick off any trapped creatures stranded by the tide. Males sport brilliant red throat markings, which they use to attract females during courtship, and unlike most other pterodents the ruby-throated wandergander is a polygynous harem-maker, with harems of up to half a dozen females that he provides food to during the nesting season when the females are caring for newborn pups in their clifftop nests.

These cliffs and mountains where the wandergander builds its nests are also home to other creatures. Here in the slopes the ground blooms with abundant deciduous grasses that grow their rhizomes out in spring, spread seed in summer, and wilt in winter, and it is here in the highlands that an enterprising lemunky, the mountain chewooki (Arctopithecus baccha) travels in troops up in the peaks, foraging for the grasses and their nutritious roots most of the day. In some regions where the mountains have active volcanism that produces hot mountain springs, the clever lemunkies occasionally go for a soak during the coldest times of the year, an activity that displays a rung of social hierarchy among them where the warmest and coziest springs are reserved for the highest ranking members, while lower members must settle for less comfortable pools or even just have to contend with the cold.

The hills of the Austral Tundra, however, are also home to one of the most unusual and unexpected animals of all: the polar shieldthorn (Arctochelonimys hoplites). An armored shingle, the shieldthorn is the most southern-ranging of the ectothermic rattiles: an achievement it holds with its extreme lifestyle. Gorging on vegetation in the summer, it builds up enough fat to then hibernate in winter when it would be too cold to operate, while its metabolism, breathing and heart rate slows down to such an extent as to externally appear almost dead. Tucked safely in a dug-out burrow the shieldthorn can hibernate for as long as six months if well-fed, with thick armored plates formed of fused scales to deter intruding predators, and sharp, stabbing spikes on its fat-storing tail to draw attention away from its vital energy-rich organ.

Flatter ground is in turn home to herds of the white snowsow (Albiporcimys leucius), where large numbers of these cold-adapted bumbaas forage in the tundra for grasses tubers, and roots, which they dig up with their lower tusks. Their stocky bodies and short limbs help them retain heat, while their thick coats of fur help them keep warm in the cold winter months, as well as conceal them in the snow from predators: in the summer, this coat is instead exchanged for a thinner, gray one, with their winter coat sloughed off in clumps in the spring, to more quickly transition to their summer coat and reduce the time they stick out like a sore thumb, frosty white in a rocky landscape devoid of snow.

But perhaps the most intriguing of all the Austral Tundra's inhabitants is the region's apex predator: the southern baskerville (Calliducyon australus), a surviving descendant of the daggarats that ruled the Glaciocene as its top carnivores, but ultimately dwindled away at its end. Specifically, it is a member of the lycanines: a group of daggarats that forsook their long saber fang for a shorter slicing one, an adaptation that had allowed them to persist on smaller game while their bigger relatives, the slaybers, perished with the extinction of their giant prey the drundles and the hammoths. Today, the daggarats are survived by the lycanines of South Ecatoria, and the chernadogs of Arcuterra that had since regressed to mesopredator status with the resurgence of the carnohams.

But what sets apart the southern baskerville from most other species is its unusually high degree of social intelligence: an adaptation born of the necessity to survive in a fickle and treacherous world remnant of an age long past. Here it was the cunning that survived, the ones adaptable to whatever changes arose on a dime. And it was here that the southern baskerville was selected by circumstance for its mix of toughness, flexibility and intelligence, much like a certain species on Mesoterra ages long past, the maniacal ripperroo-- save for one key difference.

While the ripperroo was violent, competitive, and even cannibalistic, here the forces of evolution would drive this clever apex predator in a different direction: one more geared toward cooperation. Rather than competing with their own kind, they amicably shared their spoils: a behavior well rewarded in their environment by reciprocation of benefits: helping a pack-mate in a time of need was useful in soliciting help from them in turn. As such, intraspecies violence is very rare among the southern baskerville, and social altruism even quite common: old and injured packmates unable to hunt are still shared with, partly due to their experiences being useful in teaching younger individuals and thus still contributing to the group, but partly simply because family bonds are very tight, and members show a great deal of affection to one another. The cohesive nature of their packs make them very efficient hunters, of even large game, as each individual works for the good of the group, rather than simple mobbing for the sake of self-interest.

Southern baskervilles, as such, are easily one of the most complex of animals currently living on HP-02017. Their intimate social behaviors has geared them toward brains able to percieve and anticipate the actions of others, a feat necessary for their cooperation. They too are incredible problem-solvers, able to coordinate their efforts toward a common goal, and can relay information to other members of the pack with a series of simple whistling vocalizations: both in the sense of spreading urgent information of food, danger, or courtship to others or to pass on learned behaviors to their offspring based on their own experiences. Compared to other zingos, the brain of the southern baskerville remains fairly neotenic up to adulthood, allowing a greater degree of behavioral plasticity that allows them to learn new things even in maturity, and teach others how to follow their example. As such, various populations of the southern baskerville have adopted local behaviors, such as those in the plains able to herd snowsow herds into ambushes, or coastal populations picking on basking bayvers by blocking their escape routes to the sea. Certain riverside sub-species are even able to utilize foreign items such as driftwood or bones gripped in their teeth to dislodge small invertebrates from rocks or reach into small burrows for tunneled small prey: the beginning of early tool use, albeit one limited by their lack of prehensile digits.

Evolution, random and nondirectional as ever, nonetheless tends to repeat certain winning formulas in the endless game of life, where the reward is survival and the proliferation of a gene. And it is here, in a place seemingly where time has not progressed, that a tremendous leap would be achieved: the first hopeful embers of what could, in time, be the dawning of a new species: and the unexpected rise of another new intelligence.

-----------

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Lilia Vanrouge Apprentice Chef Personal Story: Part 2

"Master Chef"

(Part 1) Part 2

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Master Chef – Lilia Version ～Let’s Make Garlic Sautéed Pea Sprouts 2～

Epel: I’m getting nervous. I wonder if I’m cut out for such a big role like being a judge…

Lilia: Sorry to have kept you waiting!

Lilia: Mh. So Epel is the one who is going to eat my cooking.

Epel: Lilia-san. It’s a pleasure.

[grumble]

Epel: Ah! I was so hungry, it made a noise… H-how embarrassing…

Lilia: Looks like you can’t wait. Then, let’s have you try it while it’s still warm.

Lilia: Savor it thoroughly. This is a masterpiece that I made with all my heart, improved time and time again to completion.

Epel: …Um. What is this?

Lilia: It is “Garlic Sautéed Pea Sprouts” of course?

Epel: This is!?

Epel: It’s overflowing with meat, vegetables, and fish and… Is this yellow thing pineapple of all things?

Epel: And then, this thing that’s wilted over on the side of the plate… is this, pea sprouts…?

Epel: It’s a completely different thing from “Garlic Sautéed Pea Sprouts”!

Head Chef: I’m sorry, it was no good… No matter how many times we tried to stop him…!

Head Chef: Lilia-kun would ignore the recipe and put whatever ingredients he wanted into the dish!

Jade: I also attempted to course correct by helping where I could…

Chef Ghost A: What part of that was course correction!? Rather, you encouraged his recklessness!

Chef Ghost A: Thanks to you, no matter how many times Lilia-kun re-created the dish

Chef Ghost A: It so happened that he would always put in pineapple!

Lilia: Those reactions…

Lilia: Apparently it did not live up to Chef’s expectations. I only made it thinking of someone who would eat it…

Epel: Someone who would eat it? …What do you mean?

Lilia: It’s an old story…

Lilia: One day, my family grew larger. I needed to be able to cook for him.

Lilia: To be honest, I was someone who never had any interest in my own food.

Lilia: What kind of meals are good for the body… What kind of meals would help him grow big…

Lilia: Every single day, I racked my brain.

Lilia: I would earnestly only think about what a balanced meal could be.

Lilia: I once made soup by going to the mountains, diving under the sea, and flying through the sky to collect ingredients.

Jade: So you gathered ingredients from the land, sea and sky.

Epel: I don’t think that’s what they mean by a “balanced meal”…

Epel: B-but… Lilia-san’s cooking was the result of love, wanting them to have a ton of nutrition.

Epel: I’m sorry that I said such a terrible thing earlier.

Lilia: Don’t worry about it. Next time, I’ll try to make a dish that you can’t help but want to eat.

Epel: Yes! I look forward to it.

Jade: What a lovely story. I’m almost moved to tears.

Head Chef: Looks like everyone is convinced…

Head Chef: Then, take responsibility for Lilia-kun’s food and eat it all, please.

Jade/Epel: Eh?

Head Chef: No matter the situation, no matter how many times I explain, it’s strange that he’ll go wild without listening to the instructions～

Head Chef: I’m not saying that he’s lying about his feelings, but for sure there’s a part of him that’s enjoying this too…

Head Chef: Besides, it wouldn’t do good to waste the ingredients, right?

Head Chef: So all of you that just agreed with what Lilia-kun said, you are to eat every bit of this dish!

Epel: N-no way―!

Jade: Oya oya, what a predicament…

Epel: We can’t escape… I think. Th-then…

Jade/Epel: Thank you for the meal. / Let’s dig in!

Jade/Epel: URP!?

Jade: This is… a dish with a complex flavor that is beyond description.

Epel: It’s sweet, sour, bitter, and spicy… I’ve never eaten such a messed-up dish!

Head Chef: Hey keep going, both of you have stopped eating!

Lilia: I thought it was a good creation, but I see it doesn’t suit either of your tastes…

Lilia: Then, an apology! How about I make a banana cake for dessert to cleanse your palate!

Lilia: I’ll mix in some liver since that’s got a robust revitalizing effect…

Jade/Epel: THERE’S NO NEED!

(Part 1) Part 2

[trashytummiez]

Mixing Rockstars with Liquor

This is based off the pic @squidbiscuit did yesterday of a burpy Piers nice and drunk.  What can I say burpy bois hit my buttons.  X3

Piers had just finished a killer set and had the crowd eating out from his hand.  But this was after back-to-back shows which Piers could do no problem but it definitely took a toll.  So after finally finishing for the weekend he returned to his place with one thing on the brain.

Alcohol.

The young rocker wasn’t hugely down with regular beer but hard liquor?  

He could take that straight into his veins.

“Fuckin’ ‘ell, I need somethin’ stiff that ain’t Raihan fer once,” Piers muttered.  He marched up to his pantry and grabbed himself some Jaeger, Bacardi, vodka and good old fashioned rum.  He didn’t care he just needed some alcohol in him stat after finally being finished with such an intense run of shows.

He set down all the alcohol onto the table along with a dozen shot glasses.  There was enough alcohol to get an entire group of mates buzzed.  But Piers was looking to ‘relax’ tonight.

First Piers poured a tall glass of vodka and chugged it.  He didn’t need any cranberry juice or sweet and sour mix.  Just toss in some ice to keep it nice and cool as the chilled liquids flowed down Piers’ thin throat.  Piers got it all down in maybe ten seconds of hearty glugs then panted when he finished.  

Since the ice was still cool Piers poured himself another glass of vodka and downed it in the exact same amount of time.  

Piers poured out a dozen shots of rum then he started to down each shot one after the other like a drinking machine.  He gasped heavily with each one.  Rum didn’t burn the way tequila did but this was the kind of rum that took someone’s breath away.  After getting about four shots straight down his gullet Piers grabbed the Bacardi.  

He didn’t bother pouring it out into a glass.  Like a true rockstar he pounded his drink straight from the glass bottle.  Piers was chugging so hard that his Adam’s Apple was bobbling rather thickly with each rapid gulp he downed.  This time it burned all right but it burned so good.

There was already enough alcohol in Piers’ stomach to knock anyone else out.

Piers gasped heavily when he slammed the bottle back down on the table and panted with his tongue hanging out.  His throat was burning something fierce but he was already feeling way looser than he was mere minutes ago.  He caught his breath eventually and patted his chest a few times.  After the burn subsided Piers burped then smacked his lips contemplatively.

Straight Bacardi and so much of it could definitely use a chaser though.  So Piers headed over to the kitchen again but had to stop midway.  

“Bloody ‘ell...shouldn’t ‘ave drank so much on an empty stomach,” Piers admitted holding a fist to his mouth for a moment and eventually puffing a breathy exhale out.

Piers came back with a six-pack of soda cans specifically root beer because it was rich in flavor and he had a dry sense of humor.

After cracking it open Piers chugged a whole can of root beer down in thirty seconds flat never pausing to catch his breath.

He crushed the empty can and lazily dropped it down onto the table.  Then Piers let out a huge burp.

BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP!!!!

“Fuckin’ ‘ell,” Piers sighed and patted his stomach.  It felt bloated already from all the alcohol he’d downed so fast.  His already tight long sleeved shirt was looking even more snug around the middle which was now pressing out and bubbling by including all that carbonation into the mix.

He continued pouring himself more drinks and pounding them without any signs of lethargy.  

Piers was a rockstar after all and being a rockstar meant holding your liquor like a champ.

The drinks just kept on vanishing down his gullet all with Piers looking more and more toasted the more alcohol he consumed.  It took more to get him drunk than it ever would have taken Raihan and as a result of drinking so much liquids, Piers’ tummy continued growing more bloated the more alcohol he consumed.  

Piers occasionally drowned some of the alcohol he chugged with some more root beer.  It went down well after such hard liquors but it caused some really loud burps to bellow out of Piers.  All that alcohol and soda was making him really gassy.

It didn’t matter though.  Piers’ body was a temple that he always trashed every weekend anyway.  So he just pounded his drinks without a care in the world until all the liquids on his table were left burbling in his now very swollen stomach.

Piers’ tummy was sticking out so much that it looked as if he’d eaten a whole watermelon.  His shirt could just barely conceal his stomach anymore and his pants felt unbearably tight.

Eventually the glassy-eyed drunken rocker exhaled a breathy sigh.  His breath was incredibly pungent with so much alcohol that it burned just coming out.

The table was littered with empty shot and vodka glasses, empty bottles and several crushed cans of soda.

Piers hovered over the table drunkenly slumping forward while his belly hung loose from how bloated it was.  Then he brought a fist near his mouth and released a deep belch.

Hup-OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRPP!!!!!

“Ffffuckin’ ‘ell~URP!!~Ungh, that’s so much better,” Piers sighed in a slurred manner while leaning against the table with one hand pressed against it.

He just stood there drunkenly while his bloated tummy gurgled deeply.  

“Ungh, thought that was all of it,” Piers grumbled.

With a grimace he grabbed his belly with his free hand and burped loudly again.  An even bigger one followed right after that.

BRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAARRRRRUUP!!!!!

BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRAAAAAAAAHP!!!!!!!

“Ungh!  Fuck...” Piers moaned patting his belly a few times and getting another burp out.

He huffed again and ran his hand across his face.  With how red his cheeks were it was clear how absolutely toasted he was.  Even Piers himself commented on it.

“I’m bloody smashed...thought it would’a taken at least another six shots t’get t’that point.  Hope I ain’t losin’ a step...” 

There was still a water bottle nearby so Piers grabbed that and chugged it in just over ten seconds even crinkling the bottle when he chugged it.  When the last of the water was gulped down Piers let out a wet burp and staggered to his couch.  He lazily and drunkenly flopped onto it which caused him to hiccup loudly from the sudden motion.

Piers almost looked like a ragdoll the way he slumped back on his couch with his limbs hanging so loose.  But when he finally undid the button to his tight jeans there was this heavenly look of bliss on the drunken rocker’s face.

His pale tummy was free to expand without feeling restrained by his tight clothing.  He even pulled his shirt up to expose his full liquor and soda filled belly.

Piers hummed contently to himself and lazily rubbed his belly with his hands running up and down its pale surface.  It glorped and blorped noisily.  All that hard alcohol was turning Piers’ stomach into noisy flesh sac full of chemicals burning away.  Or at least it sounded like one.

The rocker groaned and looked down at his belly with a fond grin while his hands gingerly stroked it up and down.

“Mmmm no wonder Raihan can never keep his bloody hands away...”

Piers grimaced when a really deep bubbling erupted from his belly.  He raised a fist up by his mouth and let loose a deep and really wet burp.

GAAaAaAaAaAaAaAuuuurrrrRUUUUUUUUULHP!!!!

Piers huffed and gave his belly a few pats until another belch followed.

"...Holy shit,” a voice called out.

Piers looked up and saw Raihan having just returned and now standing in the middle of the living room with his jaw gaped at the sight of Piers sprawled on the couch with his bloated belly hanging out.

The rocker grinned and summed his boyfriend with a single inviting finger.

“Boy is you in fer a treat, mate...”

[protofans]

via today’s mailer:

Hey Europe, we’re coming for you… AGAIN! We had this scheduled for 2021, but obviously that didn’t happen. But I feel real good about it happening in 2022, so grab some tickets and please help spread the word over there about these shows. We’d love to make European trips a much more regular thing.

APRIL – 2022 17th – Berlin – FRANNZ Club 18th – Amsterdam – Melkweg 19th – Paris – Les Étoiles 21st – London – Shepherd’s Bush 22nd – Great Yarmouth – Sci-Fi Weekender 23rd – Swansea – Sin City 24th – Oxford – O2 Academy 26th – Wolverhampton – KK’s Steel Mill 27th – Glasgow – The Garage 28th – Bradford – Nightrain

BANDCAMP FRIDAY …… is today!

We’ve put up the freshly mixed 2021 version of “Built To Last” on Bandcamp a couple times in the past year for Bandcamp Fridays, but I realized that it’s never lined up with a mailer before for me to tell you about it, so… here you go! It’s available for purchase on our Bandcamp page until 11:59pm PST tonight (Friday).

AND we just noticed that the split black/clear variant of “Night of Queen” vinyl is down to less than 100 copies, so we’ve added it to the Bandcamp store as well.

If you don’t know what the hell a Bandcamp Friday is, it’s a very special day where Bandcamp waives their fees for 24 hours, so the artists get all of the money (except for CC fees, but that’s fair enough). So yeah, get out there and support some bands today so they can buy some Tapatio Doritos!

NEW YEARS 2021 Happy to announce that our New Years show at Exit/In with Makeup And Vanity Set and Hans Condor has sold out, but we wanted to give you a heads up on some new COVID related policy changes at Exit/In (and a majority of venues in Nashville).

I know it’s still a few months away, but as of right now, Exit/In is requiring a proof of vaccine OR a negative Covid-19 test (within 48hours of the show) to get into the show, with masks strongly recommended. We’re all for this, by the way. The more precautions the better, so venues can stay open and so we don’t get stuck in a lockdown situation again.

KYLE GASS – VACCINATED Speaking of vaccines and such, Kyle Gass (of Tenacious D fame – he was also in Evolution, which is a criminally underrated film, I might add) asked us a while back to shoot some footage for a little video he put together for his “Vaccinated” parody of The Ramones’s, “I Wanna Be Sedated.” We obliged. And while they couldn’t use very much of our stuff because it was such a jam-packed star-studded event, we figured we might as well release the Snyder Cut. You might want to rent out a movie theater to watch this potentially academy award winning gem. Watch HERE.

LIVE IN NASHVILLE Don’t think you can make it to our New Years or European shows? Don’t sweat it, we made Live In Nashville for this very exacting reason! If you don’t have it already, grab a copy of the Blu-ray and/or CD (or just the digital versions) from our Sound Machine or Kings Road Europe stores and watch or listen anytime from the comfort of your own home.

COVER UP VINLY NEARLY SOLD OUT If you want a copy of The Cover Up on record, you’d better hurry, there are only about 200 left in Sound Machine Store and much less than that at stores across the US America. Again, if your local record shop doesn’t have it, see if they can get it from URP Distribution before they’re all gone. Also, there are some signed copies available at the SM Store right now.  

Stay safe out there,

-Commander

[southerntchiorny]

Are you ready for a surprise????

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How about a rescue pup who is very likely to become a failed foster???

This is Mona, a 3 yr old chihuahua mix who has been in the shelter’s system for about a year. A trainer friend of mine in Mobile reached out to me asking if I could foster this cutie. She has been adopted twice and returned both times after a period of 2-3 months.

For what reason, you may ask? Short, once-in-a-blue-moon nausea periods. She’ll have a little urp, go off her food for a day, and be fine the next day. They have taken her to the vet and had her checked out but can’t find anything wrong. As my friend said, she can check potential adopters for a lot of things, but intelligence isn’t one of them.

So I’ll be getting her this coming weekend! I’m trying to come up with a better name though and have a short list of ones I like but if you can help me think of Autumn themed names that aren’t common I would appreciate it!

[archivingspn]

WildStorm Productions: “Supernatural Rising Son #6 (pg 19-22)″

Context: This satirical comic was co-written by Eric Kripke. The term “beast with two backs” dates back to Shakespeare’s Othello, and is a metaphor for two people having sex. It is unclear if the monster is a conjoined Jared and Jensen or Sam and Dean demon crab monster.

[Panel 1 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area]

John: BOYS. I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU NORMAL LIVES. I DO. BUT I JUST CAN'T. WE GOT WORK TO DO...

Dean: OH HERE WE GO AGAIN, WITH THE WORK, AND THE SADNESS,AND THE--

Sam: HEY, STOP IT! I'M SAD,TOO...

[Panel 2 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area but the image is distorting]

Dean: NOT AS SAD AS ME! I GOT MORE ANGST THAN I CAN SHOVEL!

Sam: PLEASE! I DEFINE "MOPEY."

[Panel 3 pg19: Distorted image of Harry Spangler and Ed Zeddmore]

Ed: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS COMIC. WE ARE CONTROLLING THE TRANSMISSION.

Harry: WE WILL CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL. WE WILL CONTROL THE VERTICAL.

FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE AWE AND MYSTERY OF--

[Panel 4 pg19: Clearer picture of Harry and Ed]

Harry: THE GHOSTFACERS!

Ed: I'M ED, THAT'S HARRY. AND YOU, PAL, WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF READING ONE PANSY-ASS, WEEPY-EYED, BRO-MANCE. A REAL D**K FLICK, YOU ASK ME.

[Panel 5 pg19: Harry and Ed in a comic studio with a comic artist]

Harry: WHICH IS WHY WE'VE HIRED THE FINEST ARTIST IN SOUTHEASTERN MILWAUKEE, TO SHOW YOU WHAT A "REAL MAN'S COMIC" LOOKS LIKE.

Ed: A STORY FROM OUR LIFE. RED BLOODED, TWO FISTED, EXTRA CHUNKY, AND 1000%TRUE.

Artist: YOU GUYS PROMISED ME TWENTY BUCKS.

Ed: SHUT YOUR GOB OR NO MORE SCHLITZ,RUMMY!

[Panel 6 pg19: the title card panel with a single speech bubble]

GHOSTFACERS IN: THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS

(Off screen) Harry or Ed: SO LOCK THAT BASEMENT DOOR, AND DON'T LET MOM IN... 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN FOR THE GREATEST RIDE IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE!

Written by Eric Kripke & Peter Johnson Art by Dan Hipp Colors by Jonny Rench Letters by Wes Abbott Kristy Quinn - Assistant Editor Ben Abernathy - Editor

[Panel 1 pg 20: an establishing shot of a riverside hanger in an urban setting]

Story bubble: IT WAS JUST ANOTHER DAY AT GFHQ.

[Panel 2 pg 20: Scantily clad Maggie watching shirtless, muscular, and sweaty Harry and Ed lifting weights in a control panel room]

Ed: DUDE. I'M TOTALLY BLASTING MY DELTS.

Harry: NICE CLEAN AND JERK, ED!

Maggie: GET A ROOM, YOU GUYS.

Harry: WE HAVE ONE. WE SLEEP IN BUNK BEDS,YOU KNOW THAT.

[Panel 3 pg 20: Chimp!Kenny Spruce interacting with the control panel]

Chimp!Spruce: EEP, EEP, IP, CHEEP, URP, IP, IP!

[Panel 4 pg 20: Close up of shirtless and sweaty Harry and Ed]

Ed: WHAT'S THAT, SPRUCE? A CLASS-IV DEMON SIGHTING? WHERE?

(Off screen) Chimp!Spruce: EEP, IP, URP, CHEEP

Harry: OKAY, LET'S WATCH THE TONE, SPRUCE. NO ONE LIKES A SMARTASS.

[Panel 4 pg 20: Ed in the front with a sword wearing a sleeveless uniform with the logo GF on it. Harry, wearing the same uniform, in the back holding a big gun in each hand. Maggie is next to them holding a beeping device in one hand and gun in the other with Chimp!Spruce riding on top of her head. The background looks like an underground dungeon with mechanical attributes mixed in.]

Maggie: IT SHOULD BE CLOSE.

[Panel 5 pg 20: Close up on Harry]

Harry: YOU HEAR WE'RE SO THAT?

The Beast: PRETTYYYY. WE'RE THE PRETTIEST BOYS IN ALL THE WORLD.

[Panel 1 pg 21: A wide shot of The Beast With Two Backs holding a girl with big boobs, big eyes, and heels hostage in their arms. Sam/Jared’s head is on the right. Dean/Jensen’s head is on the left.]

Sam/Jared head:  YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL... WHICH IS WHY YOU MUST DIE!

Dean/Jensen head: NO ONE CAN HAVE FULLER, POUTIER LIPS THAN US! NO ONE!

[Panel 2 pg 21: Wide shot of Ed, Maggie, Chimp!Spruce, and Harry battle ready]

Harry: IT'S OUR ARCH-NEMESIS!! NEMESI? WHAT'S PLURAL?

Ed: NOW WE FINISH IT!

[Panel 3 pg 21: Close up of the Beast and Hostage Lady]

Sam/Jared Head: WITNESS THE TERRIBLE FURY OF OUR PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE!

Dean/Jensen Head: BOW BEFORE OUR HIGH CHEEK BONES!

[Panel 1 pg 22: A wide shot of Harry shooting a big gun and hitting The Beast With Two Backs shoulder making the sound effect “Whamm-o.”]

[Panel 2 pg 22: Ed in the middle of a swinging his sword at the Beast in the foreground.]

Ed: HOW'S THAT FOR THE POWER OF GRAY SKULL?!

[Panel 3 pg 22: A close up on the Beast with Two Backs. Smoke is coming out from their mouths and their eyes have been censored with black boxes]

(Off screen) Ed or Harry: NOT SO PRETTY ANYMORE,ARE YOU??!

[Panel 4 pg 22: The Beast lies defeated in the background among the smoke. The Hostage Lady is caressing Ed’s Pecs, while Maggie is caressing Harry’s. Chip!Spruce is riding on Harry’s back.]

Hostage Lady: HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?

Ed: TWO WORDS: REVERSE COWGIRL.

Harry: HEY, SOMETHING'S WRONG. I FEEL WET...STICKY...

Maggie: EWWW! HARRY!

Harry: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN...

[Panel 5 pg 22: Back in the comic room the artist is passed out on the desk, and beer has been knocked over on the comic. Harry and Ed are in the foreground wearing their regular clothes and bodies]

Harry: DUDE, HE SPILLED BEER ALL OVER THE COMIC!

Ed: SO THERE YOU GO. OUR LIVES. LAUGHS, LOVE, TEARS, DARE I SAY, ENLIGHTENMENT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

[Panel 6 pg 22: A distorted close up on Harry and Ed]

Harry: YOU MUST BE SPENT. TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY FOR QUIET REFLECTION, WE OUT.

Ed: AND DON'T FORGET-- THE MOVIE RIGHTS FOR THIS BAD BOY ARE WIDE OPEN!

Story box: THE END

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 2.3 - Dracula and Princess Briar Rose

3. GIRL’S MIND

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Seiin High School was located on a slope at the foot of a mountain, and it took twenty minutes to walk there from the shopping district in front of Nanafu Station. That was why the height difference between the school building and other facilities was so severe. The mountain behind the school building was flattened, and the first sports ground and the slightly narrower second sports ground were arranged like terraced fields, and the outdoors court was on the slope that ran beside those two grounds. That slope was about a hundred meters long, and it was the perfect course for hill running.

The dirt road, which had absorbed the sweat and curses and vomit from thousands of athletes since founding and was trampled down firmly by them, was bone dry from being exposed to the scorching September sun. The regulars were holding game-centered finishing practice for the Spring Inter-High volleyball qualifiers coming up later this month, so during that time, we first-years were assigned to do basic strength training. Our second-year senpais who weren’t on the bench were in charge of it, but these second-years were far stricter than the third-year captains.

“Ayano! Who said you can rest!? Get up and run!”

Our senpais’ angry voice flew at Ayano, who was sitting down halfway up the slope. Somehow, she managed to get up and unsteadily meandering up to where we were, before covering her mouth with an “Urp” and sinking down again. Without giving Ayano time to rest, they scolded, “If everyone’s here, then go down now!” We didn’t even have the energy to complain and came down the slope with our faces hanging down like exhausted slaves. Ayano, standing up while wheezing, was on the verge of tears. Ah, she might throw up… When I saw that, I felt like I was about to puke too, so I decided to not to look back at her.

I didn’t have it in me to reach out my hand today. In terms of physical strength, I was just as exhausted as Ayano, but it was just that I refused to sit down out of pride. I felt gross. My hips felt heavy. Sometimes my vision would suddenly go red and black. I think…that is coming. It was supposed to be still around four days away, so I got careless. Once I became possessed by that thought, I couldn’t stop worrying about the inside of my underwear. How many more times did I have to go up? Do I wait until club activities were finished? What would I do if I run to the washrooms right after and it really comes?

…It was no good. I had to tell them.

“Senpai…”

I called out to my senpais in a fidgety whisper, which was startling for me. Though it shouldn’t be something embarrassing because I saw other girls coming forward about it from time to time, I had to muster up all my mental strength to broach that topic.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━���⋆

When I told them, I was unexpectedly readily allowed to leave for a short period. Apparently I looked sicker than I felt. Because I, who never whined like Ayano did, told them about it with a ghastly pale face, and it actually made my senpais panic instead.

I was strangely embarrassed about that certain time of the month that every girl had, and even in places where there were only girls, I was afraid to talk about it. Being afflicted with heavy menstrual pains didn’t suit a masculine girl like me if I do say so myself, and I felt like if people knew, they would judge me or be put off.

“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan.” —I felt like I was letting that kid down, the one who determined my character with an innocent smile. They would probably be picturesque when they fell asleep with menstrual cramps because they were so small, dainty, and fragile.

My motto was to stand up straight and walk with big steps, but I was currently slouching slightly and my stride naturally narrowed. While praying that I didn’t run into anyone, I hurried to the club room building. I was able to get out of club activities, but my crisis hadn’t actually gone away. I recalled not bringing my pouch with me because I didn’t think it was coming yet.

It would be bad if I just rummaged through Ayano’s backpack without asking her…I don’t want to go back now and ask her either…What should I do, what should I do…

There were several boys taking a break in front of the drinking fountain of the club room building. Crap, this was bad timing… I straightened my spine that was bending forward and casually walked past their backs. As I began to walk up the stairs, feeling gravity pulling at my hips ten times more than usual, I ended up slouching again, and right then,

“Suemori Ibara-saaaan. Please show us your panties again today!”

Hearing jeering voices from below, my hands immediately went to my butt. Four or five boys with stupid grins on their faces were looking up at me on the stairs, forming a weird cluster like giving each other neck locks. Were these the same idiots who told Ayano to show her panties last week?

Should I try to run upstairs and escape to the club room? But turning one’s back to the enemy is out of the question! Or should I run down and try to bring down divine punishment to these middle school-looking stupid boys—my head didn’t know what to do, so my body was at a loss, and my left and right feet twisted in a weird way and I ended up missing a step. My legs opened wide and one leg plunged through the gap between the steps, hitting the inside of my thigh hard. This impossible dullness from Suemori Ibara of all people!

“Woah ho, Suemori’s so lame!”

The boys laughed, but they too were indeed a bit flustered. The shame was more unbearable than the pain, and tears welled up in my eyes. The pain of a bruise was nothing compared to the shameful sight of spreading your legs above boys’ heads on the day your period arrived.

And then, someone from behind grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up.

“…Are you alright, Ibara-chan?”

A somewhat gloomy voice came down. The first thing I saw as I craned my neck, half suspended in midair, was red lips and a thin chin, so close that I panicked and pulled my face away.

Kanno, with a sports towel covering his head, was looking down at me worriedly.

“Don’t, don’t touch me!”

I pushed Kanno away without thinking and clung to the railing of the stairs. Kanno awkwardly withdrew his hands, which had lost their place, and apologized as usual. “I’m sorry…” It seemed like I had refused to let him help me up, but I simply didn’t want my body to be touched by Kanno right now… The stupid boys were still looking up at me from below the railing, so I squeezed my throbbing thighs together.

“Oh, okay…Ibara-chan.”

Right after Kanno looked like realized something, he pushed me to the back and stepped forward. My body, which had been hidden in the shade of the eaves, was now exposed to the sun, and I almost shouted, “Ah!” Right at that moment…

Bang!!

A metallic roar pierced my eardrums. My heart shrank, and the sounds that were about to come out of my mouth and the tears that had welled up in my eyes receded.

Kanno had kicked the railing. The towel had fallen, exposing his pale face.

As the shaking of the metal lasted faintly…

“Sorry, but please don’t tease people too much.”

That was said by a voice so meek and subdued that it made you wonder what was that outburst right before. It was directed at the boys who had stiffened in a mass below the stairs and were openmouthed, probably having braced themselves for an angry voice.

“Ibara-chan, come here.”

As though nothing happened, he dejectedly went into the shadows of the eaves again, called out to me and climbed up the stairs. I was rooted on the spot from amazement, but Kanno beckoned to me with his hands behind his back with a “Hey” and I crab-walked up the stairs, mindful of my bottom. Kanno went straight past the girls’ volleyball room that was second from the front and nimbly passed through the outside passageway that was already narrow but crowded by the junk overflowing from each room.

Relegated to the very end of the second floor, in a spot where it was a hassle to get in and out of, was the boys’ volleyball club room. This was just my own impression, but aura of losers was leaking out from the door gap.

“No one’s here right now, so feel free to come in. I just came here to get my stopwatch because I forgot it.”

Kanno said, opening the door and going in. There was no way I could just walk into the boys’ club room and say “Pardon the intrusion” if I was told “Feel free to come in.” As soon as I cautiously peeked in from the door, an indescribable smell of sweat hit me. It was completely different from the scent of the girls’ room I was used to smelling. It wasn’t mixed in with artificial smells like antiperspirant spray, just the smell of bare sweat. It couldn’t be called neat and tidy by any standard, with equipment, personal belongings and trash lying around, but I wondered if it was because we had three times the number of members that it looked emptier than the girls’ volleyball club room. Or, maybe it was simply because girls had more stuff.

Kanno opened the door of one of the lockers, rummaged around, found something and handed it over to me. It was a rectangular object with a short edge of about ten centimeters and long edge of about twenty centimeters, with a colored plastic bag wrapped around it. Its shape, size, and tight packaging, as well as the drugstore logo printed on the bag. A girl would recognize what it was right away, but—why was it coming out of Kanno’s locker!?

“C’mon, take it.”

Kanno said in a muffled voice, sticking his head halfway into his locker. Vividly reminded of a vampire who felt safe being in his own coffin, the picture was strangely familiar.

“And please close that door when you’re done. People will think I’m a pervert if they see this, so…”

“No, you’re enough of a pervert already…?”

Kanno awkwardly tossed it at me, like he was unable to bear its weight, and I had no choice but to yelp and catch the thing that flew. Hmm, there was no mistake about it, this feeling and lightness. There were probably about twenty-four inside to use for many days.

“I didn’t have it because I wanted to have it. I was sent to buy it before…They were probably betting on something, but when I came back, the guys who ordered me to do it were getting yelled at by a third-year and it ended there, then I wondered what I should do with these… I couldn’t have anyone see me have them, I couldn’t throw them away, and if I brought them home, my mom would probably faint.”

“They even made you do that…? When was that? Why didn’t you tell me? I did warn them to stop it.”

“I guess June…? I know you aren’t very good at talking about things like this, Ibara-chan, so I thought it would embarrass you if I talked about it…” June meant that Kanno had this in his locker for three months.

“So, please, use this.”

Kanno said, poking a third of his face out from the other side of his locker. Oh, I’m saved. For a moment, I was simply grateful, but——

I belatedly realized what this offer meant, and my face instantly turned hot.

“Wait, h-how did you kn…you, you really are a pervert…”

“I am not a pervert. It’s unfortunate. It’s rather obvious when you see it, you know? I’ve been practicing with girls since middle school… Don’t girls feel tired and look sick?”

“Yeah, but even other girls don’t know.”

“Huh? Really? But even when I’m there, they say things like, ‘Do you have that today?’… You always look like you’re in pain from the twentieth to the twenty-third…Wait, today’s still the sixteenth.”

“Just wait a minute and be quiet. How did you grasp my…you know…”

The important words wouldn’t pass through my throat, and I turned bright red, my chin wobbling. For me, it was a disgusting, taboo word to even say, something that would force me to transform into an unclean creature I didn’t want to be.

“That’s because I’m always watching you, Ibara-chan…”

“So you’re a stalker, creep!”

“No, you have it all wrong! Don’t call me a creep.”

When I cursed at him unthinkingly, Kanno hurriedly added to what he said with a hurt look on his face.

“I’ve always been your fan, that’s what I meant by always watching you…ah, it does sound kinda stalkerish, but I’m not…um…Ibara-chan, you always saved me, and that’s why I’m here in the girls’ club. If you weren’t here, I would have quit a long time ago, and I might have even quit school…My parents are just overjoyed that I’m going to high school, but they’re shocked that I’m joining the volleyball team again, and that’s all thanks to you. Volleyball is fun. You were also the one who taught me the fun of volleyball…You were the best at volleyball, you were always cool, confident, someone who I could never be on par with. But, lately, I’ve been wanting something more, and, um…”

He retreated into the shadows of the locker once again while restlessly shaking his gaze left and right, and he was coughing so much that I was wondering if he had trouble breathing. No, how should I put it…if someone who didn’t know him saw his behavior, he really would seem like a pervert, but…Kanno, who didn’t talk a lot normally, was earnestly talking like he was scraping up the fragments of words scattered all about his body. Unconsciously overawed, I was unable to interrupt. When he calmed his breathing and faced forward like he had resolved himself, his wandering eyeballs had settled, and his gaze was fixed on my face. He straightened his body that seemed like it was going to snuggly fit into the locker at any moment, and ah, that was when I was reminded that he had overtaken me in height a long time ago.

“Um, I like you, Ibara-chan.”

Right after he said that while looking me in the eye, fire erupted from his face with a thud and he covered his face his hands, exclaiming stuff like “Uwah.”

While Kanno found himself in a fix all by himself, I…

I was so calm that it was uncanny. It was not the time for going into raptures over being confessed to by a boy for the first time in my life.

So it’s like that…

While I was listening, something got stuck in my mind. It was in past tense, all of it. In other words, in Kanno’s head, I was no longer an existence that was cool, confident and the best at volleyball. It meant that the current me was “something I could be on par with.” Even I was very well aware of that, but the fact that I was told that from Kanno’s mouth when I was supposed to take a little more time to come to terms with it within myself was a shock that was like having my head chopped off by a guillotine, and with that shock…

The feeling of something somewhat warm sliding down my inner thigh finally overwhelmed me.

“Ibara-chan…?”

Kanno cautiously raised his face.

The me who was a supreme existence for Kanno had nowadays fallen to the point where I could be obtained if someone wanted me. No matter how much I aimed for the top, I would never be able to jump higher than I did now, but Kanno was undoubtedly continuing to nimbly soar higher and higher at this very moment. Instead of attaching extra fat to his chest and buttocks, he would be covered in more and more supple and strong muscles.

I guess you don’t remember anymore…

“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan. You’ll look more handsome if it’s shorter.”

That was something said to me. From the smallest and most delicate kid in class. Putting a spell on me to shun being a girl and be cool and handsome, he became independent from my protection before I knew, and on top of that, confessed to me, like I was a clown.

It was now clear that the scratchiness that I felt within me every time I saw Kanno was jealousy and hatred.

“…Sorry, but no.”

Kanno’s eyes widened for a second, and then his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“The only thing I feel for you is jealousy. You were lucky enough to be born a boy, and without using much effort, you were able to snatch what I want so bad but could never get. You grew a lot, I see… Did you know? I haven’t grown a centimeter since a year ago. My jump power is dropping. I’m gonna be less and less able to jump, just like Ayano. I don’t want that… I don’t want to be Ayano. Being so heavy and shameful-looking, just lumbering around close to the ground…”

“Ibara-cha…don’t…”

When I said Ayano’s name, Kanno suddenly interrupted me with an accusatory voice. I was irritated, wondering if he was finally going to talk to me like he was condescendingly admonishing me. I was very on edge.

I noticed that Kanno’s gaze was directed over my shoulder towards the outside hallway. When I looked back, sure enough, Ayano was standing there. She was holding a sports drink and towel, and her eyes were wide.

What did I say just now—? I was horrified at the words my own tongue wove together.

“Oh, um, Ibara-chan didn’t come back, so I came to check on her, but well, I half did it because I wanted to skip,” Ayano was speaking quickly with a shocked look on her face, and then forced an “…Aha!” like she just remembered to do it. “Ah, haha…that’s right, that’s why I’m useless. I get fat too quickly and it’s no wonder that Ibara-chan hates me, so, so don’t worry about it…”

She suddenly cast down her face with the whitish smile and spoke in a small voice.

“They, they’ll get angry if we don’t back now…I’ll go on ahead...”

She said and turned on her heel. Without looking anywhere but forward, she ran past the girls’ volleyball room, swinging the big butt I had shamed just now and disappearing down the stairs. The sound of squeaky footsteps stamping down the steps became distant.

“Ibara-chan, you have to go after her.”

Kanno grabbed my arm. I, who was frozen, jumped, but my legs didn’t move. If I took even a step forward from here, my blood will…

“It-it’s fine, it’s fine, we’ll meet in practice soon anyways, and she’ll understand once I talk to her… It wasn’t like I was talking about Ayano, just girls in general…”

Of course I was lying. It wasn’t about girls in general or anything like that. While I was blathering to Kanno about stuff that was just me taking out my anger from the ends of my prejudiced mind, it was definitely Ayano who I had been picturing in my mind with contempt.

***

When I returned to practice, Ayano, who was supposed to have gotten back before me, was nowhere to be seen. When my senpais asked me with concern, “Ibara, are you alright?”, I subconsciously put on a tough front and said, “Everything was completely fine. Sorry for all the trouble,” and despite worrying about Ayano, I did the rest of the regimen with the same enthusiasm as everyone else.

When practice time ended and the outside court, which had been roasted by the late summer sun, was finally in the shade with a somewhat comfortable wind blowing, Ayano returned.

She was with Kanno. No way, did he go searching for her…? She whispered something to Kanno, and then came to inside of the fence while awkwardly shrugging her shoulders. Kanno was seeing Ayano out and he himself didn’t go inside, just watching from outside the fence. The sports towel was once again snugly tied around his head.

Ayano first ran over to the captain, received a scolding, and then joined us as we were putting away the net.

“Wh-where did you go? Ayano…”

I made my face up like nothing had happened and called out to her, but she didn’t meet my eyes. I wondered where had she been until now—the tip of her nose was red from being sunburnt. “Ayano, Ayano, what happened?” “Why did you come with Dracky?” Immensely curious whispers immediately surrounded Ayano, and I was shut out of the circle.

Apologize, apologize, apologize, apologize… Just chanting that in my mind like a prayer to Buddha didn’t lead to action. Was I such a dawdling coward? In the end, I wasn’t cool or confident when it really mattered.

Clang, the fence shook violently.

On the inside of the fence, all of the girls’ team ducked their heads as they turned around, and then there was a sudden stir. Kanno gripped the fence with one hand and crouched down like he was hanging from it.

“Kanno!?”

I immediately ran over to the fence. I changed my mind on the way there and turned ninety degrees, rushing out the gate and went outside the fence. I rushed up to him and got on my knees, and when I touched his shoulder, it was hot—!? Kanno’s five fingers, which were still caught on the fence, slipped off and hit the ground. “Kan…” When I pressed his shoulders and tried to look into his face, the towel he covered his head with came loose and exposed his face.

The other members who belatedly gathered at the inside of the fence cried out.

From the bridge of his nose to his cheeks, a dense, closely-packed rash had emerged, and his skin was flaming bright red like he had blisters. Ayano’s slight sunburn couldn’t compare to it. The members in the front row were being pressed against the fence by the pressure from behind and blatantly trying to move back. “Hey, stop pushing!”  

“Don’t…Please don’t look…”

A feeble voice leaked from Kanno’s mouth. He fumbled for the towel and pressed it against his face, curling his back and cowering. The rash also appeared on the back of his hand, peeking out from his long sleeves. Ibara-chan, his small voice entered my ears, and I unconsciously brought my drawn back face close to his.

“…I’m sorry for getting carried away…I know, I’m a total disgrace, and I’m nowhere near equal with you, Ibara-chan…So please, don’t…don’t go saying silly stuff like that…don’t say things that will make you lose your friends because of me…”

There was no one to make fun of, but without knowing what to do, and me and the rest of the team could do nothing but stay frozen in place from confusion. While we had been told that he had a health condition, it didn’t mean we could truly imagine the reality of it, so we thought it probably wasn’t as serious as everyone said, so that was probably why we could mess with Kanno so lightheartedly.

The only one who moved was Ayano. She went around the fence and ran over to our side, thrusting me away and switched places with me, putting the unfolded bath towel on top of Kanno’s head.

“I’m sorry, Dracky, you were with me the whole time, I’m sorry, and thank you… What should I do? Should we go inside the school? Can you walk? Senpai, please call the teacher!”

Ayano at that moment was not slow and sluggish in the slightest. She was quicker and braver than anyone. As though her voice released them from their paralysis, everyone regained their movements. The third-years ran to get their phones to call the advisor. Some came over to help Ayano while others carried over a cooler box.

Amidst all of that, I was the only one who was unable to take any effective action, just sitting on my butt in a daze.

Previous || Index || Next

[gratuitousauxiliatrix]

“You know, thith ithn’t what I thought you meanth by cthelebrating human fthanksgifing.” Kanaya huffed softly through her apple-gag as she lied on a silver platter before Feferi, all four arms bound together behind her back as the tall and stocky empress who she was lied before looked upon her with a mix of glee, lust, and hunger as she sat at the head of the frankly ridiculously long dinner table that would’ve been fine for any other normal sized troll but for Feferi it just barley reached her knees

“Aw sorry Kanaya, but we couldn’t find any gobblebeasts this sweep and I really wanted to see what all the hubbub was about this human thanksgiving that a few of the humans talked so much about~” Feferi cooed as she reached down and sat Kanaya up on her knees and reached around her head to undo the gag. “Besides you have a reformer right? So even if you consider yourshellf food like you are you’ll be fine~”

“Not helping.” Kanaya huffed as a jade blush spread cross her face as Feferi giggled and hugged her friend-turned-meal tightly with her thick strong arms causing their generous chests to press against each other. “You could at least help get me into the mood.”

“Oh?...you mean like this?~” Feferi asked as she leaned forwards and pressed her plump lips against then jade's while her hands trailed down her back and stopped at her ass before she began to squeeze and massage it, illiciting a muffled moan from the jade as her throat bulged with her captor's lengthy tongue. This embrace of groping and mouth-fucking continued for a few minutes before Feferi pulled her lips away and reeled her tongue back out of the mouth of the softly gasping jade and back into her own while a thin trail of saliva kept them connected. "In the mood now Kanaya?~"

"Ah... yes I think so...~" Kanaya answered softly coaxing the grip on her ass to become firmer as Feferi licked her lips and began to tug her neal closer.

"Good~" She practically growled as she opened her mouth wide before her pausing for a moment to tease her meal about her oncoming fate and letting her steaming breath wash over her face and with an especially firm tug her head was forced into her gullet while her shoulders were wedged between her for a moment but no longer as with fierce and practiced voracity she swallowed hard and fast and soon Kanaya's generous breasts were bulging out her throat before her ample waist pushed them into the fuchsia's carvernous gut leaving the final hurdle that was Kanaya's wide hips and ass. Now this did take a bit more than just forceful gulps, using her hands and her impressive strength Feferi pressed down on the jade's cheeks, compressing them down just before swallowing stuffing them bit by bit into her mouth as Kanaya's toes squirmed a bit, no doubt she pinched her friend's ass a bit with her rows of sharp, shark-like teeth but after pausing to run her lengthy tongue over the jade's crotch to tease her a bit, Feferi has reached the tail end of her meal and now with her gut filled with the bulk of her prey she no longer had the howls of hunger egging her on she could take it slowly from then on. With a soft hum she raised her head skyward and allowed her prey and slowly slide her way into her now stretched gut all the while her tongue licked them up and down, as the final dainty digits of Kanaya's slipped past her lips she slowly closed her lips around them and gave a final satisfied swallow.

"Oof gosh Kan-urp~naya, you were a wonderful meal, whale worth the damage you're gonna do to my ass~" Fefer belched out as she sat back in her seat very content with her meal as she reached down and patted her gut, mainly the impression of Kanaya's face as she squirmed and pressed back against Feferi's hand. "...Oh woops~ I forgot to take off the bindings, oh whale, guess your just g-Ooouuurp~ gonna have to hump my walls if you wanna have any fun~"

If Kanaya had any complaints they were lost, muffles by the walls or muscle and flab that presses down all around her, walls that she soon would be apart of, a fate she wouldn't mind too much honestly.

[embracethecringeside]

Not sure if anyone is actually reading this fanfiction but I have an update! Woo!

Okay so chapter two is technically shorter than chapter one but not by a lot, lmao. So this one is a lot more exposition, since chapter one did not explain much and it focuses a lot more on different Mortys. I’m hoping for future reference to just focus on a few at a time rather than a big group so I can really set up each one as an individual rather than just a “Morty”. 

Chapter one is here at fanfiction.net and here at ao3 but you really don’t have to read it to understand this chapter.

I also put this chapter, chapter 2 here at fanficiton.net and here at ao3.

This is 4,803 words and I simply titled it The Arrival because I cannot title things to save my life. 

The Arrival

When a particularly over friendly Morty had told a bunch of Mortys to meet him at the Creepy Morty during the presidential speech, they had expected more of a party. Like a watch party where they could all watch the stream and support their president. But it didn’t seem like the place was ready for a party, or really any kind of social gathering.  No decorations, no streamers, no confetti, not even any balloons. The harsh flickering lights overhead revealed that the room was grimy and unkept and none of the TV screens were even on. The air held a smell, like a refrigerator that hadn’t been cleaned in months. And most importantly none of them could see any food out, so it definitely couldn’t be any kind of party. 

Or maybe the biggest indicator that this was no party and they had been tricked was that there were two Ricks there with all of them. One Rick dressed in a police officer uniform stood guard at the entrance, hands behind his back, carefully scanning the room. The other Rick the Mortys recognized as the one that ran the Morty Daycare, and he was leaning up against the back wall, arms crossed, with an impatient look on his face. 

It was hard to say what the clue that tipped them off was, but most of them had a gut feeling that they had gotten themselves into some sort of trouble. Some were just confused. But the vibes in the room made them all feel uneasy. 

When a portal opened up next to Storage Rick, all he said was, “Alright come on,” and made a casual buzz off motion. As though they were going to just waltz through the portal to who knows where? He was crazy if he thought that would work. Oh well, okay of course he was crazy, all Ricks were but if he thought they were that stupid he had another thing coming. One Morty was about to take the bait but was stopped by another, who sighed and shook his head.

“I-I-I don’t-urp- don’t have all night, come on.” 

The one blocking the exit found his voice. “Morty, he’s just messing with you, really it’s okay. We’re taking all of you somewhere safe. I promise. You have to trust me.” 

“I don’t have to trust jack!” 

A few of them tried to rush the cop and burst out the entrance, but the doors were shut hard and fast, and no amount of pushing, shoving, or slamming his small spaghetti noodle strength against them did any good.

They must have been taking too long, because the portal closed.

“Ugh,” Storage Rick groaned, “This is taking forever. Why can’t it ever be easy with you dingbats? J-j-just walk through the damn portal! That-that’s all we’re asking you to do. Y-y-you’re a real- a real piece of work Morty.” 

“O-oh? L-l-like you’re so easy to deal with Rick?” “Y-yeah R-rick you’re no- no picnic either!” “Why would we walk through some portal with you?” “Just look-look what happened last time we did that!”

Another portal opened in place of the last one. 

One Morty that was feeling particularly brave, got up on one of the tables and tried to attract attention to himself. “Guys, guys!”

“What?”

“W-w-ell, I-I think we should, go with them.”

“Why?” “W-why should we?” “Are-are you crazy?” “No! No way!” 

“B-because th-this sucks! I hate it here, we all hate it here, and-and I don’t think whatever is on the other side of that portal could be any worse than this!” he gestured vaguely in front of him. 

“Uh, y-you mean the building?” “Don’t-don’t knock my business.” 

He sighed, exasperated with himself. Himselves. “What? No! Like-like everything is terrible! And he,” Morty pointed to the one in uniform,”he said he wants to help us.” 

“He’s a Rick” “He’s lying” “He’s a liar”

He hopped down from the table and walked with purpose in every step and brought himself closer and closer until he was bathed in the green light. “Frankly, I-I don’t care! I-I see that portal and I see a chance to leave and I’m taking it!” With that he marched forward right through the portal. 

And it wasn’t long before he came back, but with a big smile on his face. “Guys come on, you gotta see what’s through here!”

Linking hands with one Morty led to him grabbing another Morty’s hand until the room was one long hand holding chain of Mortys, and the first one took the initiative to fling himself back into the portal, and the enersa pushed the rest of them with him, falling through one after another like dominos. Once they had clamored off of each other and got up they were surprised to see that they were just in a house.

A normal looking house at that. 

The odd part? Was the Rick, that most of them had heard their Ricks refer to as Doofus Rick, stood there with a big smile to greet them.

“Alright, that-that’s it. That’s all of ‘em.” Storage Rick announced as he and Cop Rick walked in as the portal closed.

“Welcome Morty! Or I-I suppose I should say Mortys plural since there are more than one of you,” He fumbled his greeting every time, a mix of excitement and nerves kept him from being confident in what to say. “I’m Rick J-19-Zeta-7, but uh,” he sighed in defeat, “you-you can call me Doof.”

There were a few Mortys that awkwardly waved back at him, but most of them were just looking around, confused by everything.

“W-we all have stupid names, you think I like being known as Storage Rick?”

“If you would like, you can call me Cop.”

“W-w-why? T-theres no nuance or thought to it, it’s just your occupation being used as a name. It doesn’t even roll off the tongue. It’s stupid. Doof, Cop, and Storage, the fucking-’

“Language,”

“The fucking dwarves that didn’t make it into Snow White because their names were so ricdicously stupid.”

Cop crossed his arms and shot Storage a look that politely told him to shut up, then nodded to Doof to indicate that he should keep going.

“S-so the first thing we need to do is just run some diagnostics, update any of the vaccines that you may need, and even though I tend to give them out in the morning I will give you your vitamins as well.” 

“L-let’s begin shall we? House could y-”

“Yes, I know what to do.”

When the house spoke, most of them jumped right out of their skin. They weren’t sure how but it was like the walls, the ceiling, the embodiment of the house itself had a voice. It sounded a little familiar and it was unsettling.

“Y-your- uh, your house just-”

“W-w-why does your house talk?”

“I-I knew something was going to- going to be wrong here!”

“Aw geez.”

Storage Rick laughed at their expense. 

"I-It gets them every time!" 

"Don't worry Morty, it's only the artificial intelligence Doof's installed in his house. It's supposed to talk, it's a lot like non-corporational Alexa or Google Home." 

"Y-Yes, exactly, you can ask her anything from anywhere while you're inside. Well, unless, uh, not-not if you're in the bathroom. She can't detect you in there." 

They were asked to move down through the hall single file and after being scanned, poked, pricked, and prodded by mechanical arms, Doofus Rick each individual a little cup full of a viscous highlighter orange liquid that smelled like the peel of an orange and tasted like sidewalk chalk. “S-sorry about the impromptu check up, we just need to make sure we keep you all healthy.”

Doof had called for them all to make themselves at home in the living room which was rather spacious, but Morty wasn't so sure it was big enough for all of them. For the most part, it looked rather plain. A couch against the back wall,  loveseat along the other, and a recliner across from that, all matching, as though a part of a set. Same for the coffee table and end tables. The walls had built-in shelves filled with books, and a few potted plants. No TV to speak of, but there was a screen in front of the room that didn't appear to be attached to anything with text that was too small to decipher from far away. Plus, all three Ricks were gathered in front, obstructing their view, so there really was no hope of trying to read it anyway. 

Some sitting, some standing, all the new Mortys waited for Rick, any of them to start talking. Doofus Rick turned and smiled at them.

“S-so I suppose I-I should start by welcoming you all to your new home! I-I real-really hope you like living here!” Morty didn’t have anything to say apparently, so he continued on. “T-the hard part is over, and now we can talk about the fun stuff, like, designing your bedrooms. And of course choosing what the other Mortys have decided to call their “Public Identities”. M-many of you will be living here, h-however people in my dimension are not aware that the multiverse theory is more than a theory, s-so we have to ask you to make personas you’ll use when you leave the house. But of-of course, I-I think it’s much easier to show you what I mean r-rather than try to explain it.”

“W-wait, what-what do you mean we’ll be living here?”

“Y-yeah, can-can’t you just send us to our dimensions?” “I miss my parents.” “Aw geez, me too.”

“I want to go home.” “I miss Summer.” 

Gosh darn, he thought he could avoid having this conversation if he ploughed through everything as fast as possible. “Oh Morty, of-of course I-I understand you’re homesick b-but I-”

“L-look kid, if we could just send you back where you came from and n-never see your neckless mugs again we would.”

“T-that was actually the original plan. This was- my house was meant to be m-more of a waiting station while we prepared to bring you home.”

“It seems as though we’ve hit a snag, and we must ask that you stay here instead.” Cop completed the thought for Doof. 

“A snag?” 

“He means there- we have a problem.”

Morty sighed in frustration. “I knew what he meant. I just want to know what the problem is.”

Doof ran a hand through his bowl cut, “I-I just, oh gosh, I don’t know how to say it.”

“Y-you don’t have families to go back to M-morty, someone or something is traveling between dimensions and killing them. It-it’s brutal and we don’t know who-”

“W-Why-”

“Or how. But do not fret, we will discover who is responsible and bring them to justice.” Cop had this determination in his voice that was almost convincing. 

“S-so,” Doof clapped his hands together, no longer wishing to continue that particular conversation, “Now we can- we will visit some of the Mortys that already live here.”

He had them follow him through the dining room. It was almost as boring as the living room, with a table and chairs as most dining rooms would have, but there was one thing that was eye-catching. Next to the sliding door that doubled as a window there was a display case with a tea set inside, but it didn’t look like any fine china that they had seen before. That wasn’t a bad thing, the kettle, cups, and plates all seemed to be made expertly but each piece was so different and colorful but they all still looked like they were meant to be together. 

Glancing over the kitchen, which like the other rooms was big, big enough to have an island, all they saw were things like cupboards, drawers, a fridge, an oven, just normal kitchen stuff, nothing of interest at all. Nothing bright or fun, it all just looked well organized and practical. However, it smelled amazing, reminding them of how hungry they really were. 

“H-hey, come-come on, we don’t have all night, chop chop.” Storage snapped, motioning for the boys to follow him and the other two Ricks towards the door to the left of the refrigerator. All that did was bring them to a garage. Or at least that was what they thought, until Doof pressed on one of the bricks on the wall and it opened up like an elevator door, even with a soft little “ding, once the doors were completely open. That was when they realized it wasn’t like an elevator, it was an elevator. A huge elevator. 

“I-I think we can all fit!” Doof called, already in the back.

“Squeeze in and make room, or I will make you,” Storage threatened. 

Cop waited until he was sure everyone had made it in before stepping inside. “It might be a little tight but you probably won’t all be taking it all at the same time again.” He went ahead and decided they would go down just one floor, all they needed were a few examples. The elevator gave them a smooth ride, but they could feel the pull of gravity as the elevator moved downward. 

Since everyone else was being too sheepish to ask, one Morty asked, “W-w-where are we going?”

“S-stop asking so many questions.”

“Storage, Morty can ask as many questions as he wants.”

When the doors opened again, they all shuffled out into a long hallway with twelve doors total, six on each side, and what looked like bathrooms at the end. It looked like a college dorm. 

“Since you’ll be living here, I, uh just thought it-it would be- I thought we could show you what your bedrooms could be like. W-we make each floor plan the same, each room is 11’X12’ and of-of course that-that doesn’t include the 5’X5’ closet space. Then each room has a bed, nightstand, a dresser, and a desk for schoolwork. But from there,” a smile spread across his face and there was a sparkle in his eyes, “You get to decide what you want your room to be! And-and,” he was so excited he seemed to be having trouble forming words, “We’ll show you.” 

He knocked to the tune of, “Shave and a Haircut” on one door and it swung open almost immediately. But that room didn’t look like the room he had just described. Well, maybe it was the size Doof had mentioned, Morty was never sure how to measure distances, but it had none of the furniture he mentioned and it was filled with art supplies. Shelves and shelves of things like sketch books, art how to guides, art history books, canisters filled with pencils, pens, markers, colored pencils, and paint brushes. One wall was only different types of paint, oil, water color, pastels, acrylic, each with its own rainbow of color to choose from. An artist’s desk sat in the corner with a stack of papers on top, and a stack of blank canvases on the floor, and a pile of painted canvases next to those, and in the center of the room was an easel with the canvas facing toward the best part of the room, the window. The entirety of the back wall of the room was an impressively crystal clear window, overlooking a garden, bringing in beautiful streams of golden light showering the entire room. 

“H-hi Artist Morty, is it alright if we show the new Morty’s your room?”

“Oh-oh of course, come in!” The paint splattered boy grabbed Rick’s arm and pulled him in. “I-I need more eyes on my latest project. I’m trying something new, it-it’s rather abstract.” 

Doof appreciated art, but he had difficulty understanding or putting his own meaning to it, so he just looked at it objectively and tried to offer compliments that way. This had lots of green swirls in the background, with floating blue triangles and yellow orbs in it’s mist. “I like the contrasting colors, it’s visually compelling.” 

A Morty in a purple shirt walked up behind them “I-I know this feeling, this-this is that feeling you get when you walk through a portal.” 

Artist Morty was very excited someone understood his art, even if it was, well, himself.

“H-hey, are-aren’t you worried about getting paint everywhere?” Morty asked, realizing there was nothing covering the floor to protect it.

“Nope! N-nothing stains, not-not even my clothes!”

“Oh yes, I-I was very careful to make everything stain resistant for you guys.”

One Morty who was always a little cold couldn’t help but feel drawn to the window, enjoying the warmth he could feel radiating from the sun. Something about it was off, but he couldn’t quite place what it was. 

Suddenly they heard music, generic electro dance pop to be exact, crashed in like a wave, drawing Doof and the new Mortys back into the hall. Storage Rick was standing next to the door that was the source of the music, which was a dark room, illuminated by rave lights, and a floor divided into big square tiles, that each lit up a different color as the Morty in cut off jean shorts moved across them. He had been so caught up in his own enjoyment that he hadn’t realized he had gathered an audience.

“Yeah! Fuck it up Good Time Morty!” Storage Rick shouted, but it was hard to tell if it was in earnest or in jest. The Morty inside didn’t seem to mind either way, continuing to dance his cares away even after seeing the crowd gathered in the doorway.

After Storage shut the door, they noticed they couldn’t hear any noise at all, even though they knew his music was overwhelmingly loud. “T-the best part, all of these rooms? Completely soundproof.” 

“W-woah I-I liked his room, it looked like fun,” the Morty still dressed in 2018 New Years garb spoke up. 

“Oh gee, I-I don’t know, it-it was a little overwhelming.” 

Cop thought for a second, and he knew which Morty’s room would be nice and calm, and a good demonstration of what they could really do with a room. He knocked three times and a Morty with long, shoulder length locks and a tie-dyed shirt opened up the door. 

“Rick, what's up man?”

“Hippie Morty, would it be alright if we showed the new Mortys your room?”

“Of course, come on in, it-its not my room, no one can own a room. Ownership means nothing man, that-thats how they get you. How the man keeps you down.” 

When he opened the door and let them in, the Mortys weren’t so sure if it was a room at all because, well, as far as they could tell they were outside. Long lush green grass covering the ground, trees and flowers in the distance, and a big endless sky without a cloud in sight. Stars shined down through the deep rich navy night and a crescent moon beamed down. However, the glow of the fire he had going was the brightest thing in the, uh, space. A slight breeze brushed past all of them.

“H-howdy sheriff.” A Morty dawning a ten gallon hat was sitting on the ground behind the fire and leaned over so he could get a peak at Rick and the new Morty.

“Good evening Cowboy Morty, I almost didn’t see you there.” he went ahead and took a seat next to him. 

Quick to notice the watch still on Hippie Morty’s arm Doofus Rick prompted, “D-do you think you could show your “Public Identity” to the new guys if you aren’t too busy?” 

“Sure man, h-hold on.” After twisting the face of the watch he was wearing left, right, left again, he suddenly shapeshifted, which almost looked frightening in the firelight. He became taller, lankier, his hair changed to a sandy blonde, he had some scraggly facial hair on his chin, an actual neck, wore baggy jeans and an oversized tie-dyed hoodie. “S-see?” he spoke, but the voice was no longer one of a Morty. “Like, I made mine an extension of my very essence.”  With that he twisted the watch and switched himself back.

Storage said, “W-we made the watches based on the one from that m-movie Megamind. D-does that scan? Y-you guys know that movie?” 

Most of them nodded.

“We did make a few changes, however, we made it so the voice changed with the disguise, and made it so you could lock it in so it couldn’t be bumped and changed by accident.” Cop explained. 

“W-what are you two up to, are-are we interrupting?” Doof asked, being the last one to move his way in, being sure to close up the door again so the ambiance wasn’t ruined by the fluorescent light of the hall. 

“No, no, don’t worry we’re just vibing.”

“Reminiscin’.”  

Storage Rick shook his head and sat down. “Just-just sitting around the fire? R-really? I’ll tell you what were going to do, w-were going to take advantage of this creepy ass atmosphere, and I’m going to retell a famous horror story.”

“Y-you’re going to tell us a story?”

“T-this isn’t a nice story M-morty. And I’m not telling it verbatim, I-I’m only summing it up for you.  Now shut up, sit on the fake grass, and listen. It-it’s called The Veldt.”

“By Ray Bradbury? Oh that-that’s a good one.” Doof smiled as he settled in next to the Mortys. 

Cop squinted at him and furrowed his brow in suspicion. “Huh, how relevant.”

“Quiet. This family had a house that could do anything. It-it did everything for them and the parents became lazy, useless, wastes of space, while the children turned into s-spoiled little monsters. The nursery was built so it could show anything they could possibly ask for with screens making up all the surfaces of the room. A lot like the room we’re in right now.” 

“Wait, Rick, are-are you saying all of this, these-these are just screens?”

Storage threw up his hands. “O-of course they are, did-did you think that we just magically ended up outside?”

“I-I think the story describes it as crystals installed in the walls,” Doof interjected.

“A-anyway,” Choosing to ignore the correction, he continued. “One day the parents discovered the children had been f-focusing on Africa a little too much. Watching lions eat their prey. S-since that-that’s pretty fucked up, they asked a psychologist what it meant, who told them they sucked at being parents. The house provided for the children and was replacing them as the caretaker. Which meant their kids were going absolutely batshit insane l-losing touch with reality, with their humanity. Something was off about that nursery too, n-not only did the African veldt look and feel too realistic for comfort, b-but the father found a wallet of his all chewed up and covered in saliva.” The fire crackled as he took a pause for dramatic effect.

“W-When the parents threatened to turn off the house so they could all live like normal people, tie their own shoes, cook their own eggs, the children were pissed. They never had to lift a finger the way things were, and they were way too attached to the house. S-So you know what those rotten kids did?” 

He scanned the room, but the Mortys only shook their heads.

“T-they locked their parents in the nursery!” 

He was met by a bunch of blank stares.

“And?’

“What-what do you mean?”

“W-well, what happened to their parents?”

“T-the lions fucking ate them Morty. T-that’s it. That-that’s the story.”

“B-but the lions weren’t real, were they?”

Cop spoke up. “The lions weren’t supposed to be real, but the room was malfunctioning and the lions came to life.”

“O-or it was working too well.” Storage retorted. 

“A-are you saying that could happen t-to us?” Glancing around the all too realistic outdoor setting. 

Doof placed a hand on Morty’s head.  “Oh no Morty, of course not! It’s only a story, these rooms are very safe, I-I promise.”

Hippie Morty, feeling somewhat nervous now, stood up and pressed a panel on the wall, and slowly the once robust landscape faded away and in its place was an ordinary bedroom. Except for the overly bright paint job, with harsh yellow, neon pink, and lime green in a spiral, matching the dye job on his shirt, the shag carpet was green, but no longer a beautiful grass green, but a pea green. His nightstand and desk both had a rough aesthetic and still had a fresh scent. The bedspread was just as bright as the walls but with a rainbow tie-dye job rather than just a few colors. One thing the Mortys were shocked to see still there was the fire.

“W-wait, you just-just have a fire going in here?” It seemed like the exact opposite of safe. 

“No need to panic-” Cop couldn’t finish before Storage kicked over the shallow pan they had been utilizing as a fire pit, only for nothing to happen. The fire went out rather than spread. “Everything is fire retardant, just in case.” 

Before they knew it, they were all being ushered back into the elevator and down even further. However, this time when they stopped, Cop asked for twelve of them to follow him, while the other eleven went down another level with Doof and Storage. 

Cop Rick cleared his throat and stood tall and firm with his hands behind his back as he spoke. “This will be the floor you all live on, each room is fully furnished and we have provided clothing as well. Right now all of them are the same so it does not matter which one you choose, it will matter once you have finalized the design you would like, feel free to visit other Mortys and take your time deciding. Right now, we would like all of you to shower and change into clean clothes and meet us back upstairs afterwards. Any questions, comments, or scathing inditements?” Morty did not know what that last word meant, but he decided it was best to just go ahead and shower and change like he had been asked.

Who knew being clean could feel so good? Showering, actually showering with warm water and soap was so much better than being sprayed with icy water from a hose. He had forgotten what it was like. Same with wearing clean clothes. The yellow pajama top and bottoms he found laid out for him on his bed smelled fresh and were so soft. If Doof hadn’t told him there would be food waiting for him upstairs when he was ready, he could have fallen asleep right then. 

Thank goodness he didn’t. He was starving, they all were. Salad, soup, dinner rolls, mashed potatoes, something called green bean casserole, an apple, and meatloaf as the entree, he ate it all with vigor. Morty wasn’t even sure he tasted any of it, he just faded in and out of consciousness as he gorged himself, only coming back to life to put more on his plate. Each of him ate that same way until every single edible thing Rick had placed on the table disappeared. Finally Doofus Rick gave them each a slice of chocolate cake. It was so rich in taste but light and airy in texture, maybe it was just that he couldn’t remember the last time he had dessert but it was possibly the best cake he had ever eaten. 

“Rick- uh, Doof, did you make this cake yourself?”

“N-not just the cake Morty, I-I made everything myself.” He cheerfully answered. “I love cooking a-and baking.”

“Hey, m-me too! Y-you think I could help sometime?”

“Oh gosh sure if you want to Morty, tomorrow morning I’ll be up early making cinnamon rolls.”

“Holy shit-”

“Watch your profanity-” Cop started, but he caught himself, raising his unibrow and turning to Doof, “Wait did you say cinnamon rolls?”

“Y-yes, I figure it’s a special occasion, s-so I thought I-I should make my homemade cinnamon rolls.”

“Those are very good.”

“Oh man, y-you lucky bastards-”

“D-don’t feel left outI will make enough for everyone,” Doof couldn’t help but giggle at how excited they got over baked goods. “N-ow M-mortys, I do think it is time for you to go to bed, it is already late and you had a big day. We can- we could come down with you and tuck you in if you would like.” 

All the Mortys were exhausted, and he could see it, especially now that they were clean and fed, all they wanted was to crawl into those full sized beds and pass out. 

“N-no that-that’s okay.” “W-we got it.” “Thanks anyway.”

“I-” he yawned, “I can put myself to bed.” 

“O-okay, well, goodnight, sleep tight. See you in the morning!”

[putthebreadinthebreadbasket]

Collab with @the-elusive-libbin! She did the drawing (Obviously bc I’m not THIS talented) And I wrote a story to go along with it. With how much we’ve been talking about Borderlands, and specifically Mordecai, this was bound to happen. Thank you for being an amazing collab partner! :*

Without further ado, here’s the story, featuring none other than Mordecai and Elusive’s OC Lilly:

“Open up, Mordecai!” Lilly demanded.

“ ¡No, de ninguna manera.”

“...Mordy.”

“Nuh-uh,” He scoffed, crossing his arms and turning his head away from the homemade sandwich Lilly held in her hands. “I just ate and I don’t want any more.”

“Mordecai, consuming two dried-up raisins and half-a-blood-orange isn’t eating,” Lilly exclaimed, pushing the sandwich closer to Mordecai. “Especially after being so famished from those bandits.” It was true that Mordecai’s body has been hardly getting any nutrients lately; a few days back he’d been kidnapped by an assemblage of bandits while he was on a solo mission, most probably because he was trying to selfishly hog-up all the prizes for himself.

“That’s not true! They let me sip water and have a bite of somethin’ every now and again. I was a valuable hostage to them, y’know?”

“That explains why you were unconscious due to starvation when I arrived,” Lilly sarcastically said, “You’re lucky I was quick enough to pinpoint your location in a few days. You would’ve died if I hadn’t.”

“You only were able to do that because bloodwing flew and told ya!” His feathery companion squawked in approval. “Anyways... Whatever happened to them?”

“I killed them. Now...” Lilly shoved the sandwich up against Mordecai’s lips. “Eat. It.”

Mordecai sighed and regretfully took a bite from the sandwich; He chewed on it very slowly. Each time his teeth sank into the contents of the sandwich the urge to spit it out grew stronger, but with Lilly here, she’d probably stuff the half-melted sandwich right back in his mouth. It took his all to finish the sandwich and swallow the last bit down to send it to his relatively empty-stomach.

“Now that you’re done with that,” She pulled the large bag of food she’d brought with her closer, unwrapping the veil to reveal a wide variety of supplies: Meat, crumpets, pretzels, and even more sandwiches were crowding the bag, which was made even more cramped with the bottles of water there. No sight was more horrifying to Mordecai than this one.

“C-Con Permiso Lilly, but I’m pretty full.”

“--Of shit.” Grabbing a bottle of water and a few protein-based products, she inched herself closer to him. She knew he’d need some help finishing all of that. “I want this bag empty by the end of this evening.”

“Lilly, no, come on... Ya know I don’t like eating...” Though he knew her actions were coming from a good place, this seemed a bit too much for Mordecai. In fact, It seemed a bit too much for anyone.

“Trust me, baby boy. You need this, so... just do it? For me?” Lilly said, her stern behavior subsiding. She really wanted him to eat well after seeing him nearly starved to death, and she knew she had to interfere if she wanted that to happen.

Mordecai huffed and started to open his mouth slightly. Within seconds, his mouth was stuffed with unsweetened griddlecake, Lilly’s finger pushing it in mercilessly. The crumpet’s soft texture allowed the cake to accommodate to Mordecai’s mouth shape, but it was impossible for him to focus on the taste with Lilly’s finger poking around the inside of his mouth as he chewed softly on whatever his mouth was filled with, making sure to try and not hurt Lilly. She pushed her finger out, wrapped another crumpet around it, and pushed it back in Mordecai’s already-stuffed mouth. His head was thrust back gently, eyes wide, he wasn’t really expecting this, but he continued to chew the batter-y mess that was beginning to fill his mouth up.

He took the opportunity to chew frivolously when Lilly began readying up the next meal, even swallowing down the food prematurely to empty his mouth for the upcoming food, taking quick sips of the water he’d been given.

And just as his echoing gulps came to an end, Lilly’s pretzels-holding hands found their way back to his mouth. He felt out of breath, but he allowed Lilly to continue stuffing him up, mouth filled with dry pretzels. The hefty amount of salt was drying up his mouth, and he found himself unable to swallow. He gulped again, but instead of sending the food down, the contents of his stomach were being pushed up; He was gagging.

“You can do it.” He heard Lilly say just as he felt another bottle of water being pressed up against his hand. He opened it and took sips of water that mixed in with the softened pretzels, aiding in swallowing them.

“L-Lilly... por favor I- urp... feel sick.” He lightly put a hand to his stomach, which was starting to bulge out very slightly. He’d never reached this state just by eating normally like he always would.

“Ssh, sshh... It’s okay, Mordy.” She put her hand up to Mordecai’s jaw gently, but he was surprised to see her force it open, pushing the meat inside. “Just a few more and we’ll be done, alright?” Her voice was soothing, a stark contrast to her crude behavior.

Mordecai swallowed another mouthful, struggling to get it down after so long. It felt like a never-ending cycle; Swallow a bite, only to have to swallow another. His stomach was starting to let out growls of being overfilled, a rather rare noise to come from Mordecai’s belly. Lilly breathed shakily, bringing herself closer to the now-bloated stomach and hearing the gurgles at a much more intimate level. Mordecai may have hated every second of this, but the sheer fact that he was being stuffed beyond belief, as well as how close Lilly was to his own fabric-coated bloated stomach, made him blush as red as that headpiece of his.

A few minutes later, the bag was starting to look empty. All of the food that was once tucked there was now tucked in a different kind of bag; Mordecai’s stomach.

“See? Your stomach sounds happy.” Lilly rubbed her cheek alongside Mordecai’s swollen belly, listening to the thunderous noises.

“S-Stop doing that, Amigo, I’m gonna-” Mordecai reflexively brought his balled-up fist against his mouth, trying to stifle a burp but unsuccessfully doing so. “--UUUUUUURRRRPPPPPPPP!” A rattling belch echoed through the wastelands, and immediately he felt a tremendous amount of relief from the pressure his stomach was previously under. It was a completely new feeling for the 40-year-old man.

“Now that you freed up some room, maybe we should...” Lily’s hand trailed to the side, grabbing another full-bag.

Mordecai’s jaw dropped, and this time It wasn’t Lilly forcibly pulling it down, but rather the sheer shock and horror of going through that nightmare again. His eyes signified that, at that moment, he wished he would’ve died by the bandits’ hands rather than go through that again.

Lilly burst out laughing, opening the bag and revealing to Mordecai that it was just an items-filled bag. “I’m just kidding,” She exclaimed through her laughter, “...But maybe we could do this again the next time you get kidnapped by bandits.”

[slinkinginshadows]

A Monster’s Present

Summary: Ryou tries to find a sea monster. He does. It decides he’ll be a good host, and he has to deal with the aftermath.

Comments/tags/reblogs super appreciated! Tumblr’s tags are awful so reblogs really help a lot.

Warnings: Mpreg, monster incubation/pregnancy, painful birth from a stomach incubation, lots of mentions of tentacles and some parasitism. However, no character death. I guess you could say dub con but it’s not even a sentence, just to get to the rest of the preg stuff. Besides Ryou’s totally a monsterfucker and probably would be fine with it.

Wordcount: 2191

Ryou probably needed to re-evaluate his priorities.

He’d been in plenty of strange situations before, and perhaps it had warped his sense of what was really bad, but after something stuffed a tentacle up his ass and pumped a huge egg into his stomach, he’d been more disappointed that he hadn’t managed to get any footage over the fact that his stomach was taut and swollen.

Maybe he was just in shock.

By the time the boat had steered back to shore and the egg had creaked his skin out further, he was a little more worried.

“So, how was it?” Mariku was waiting at the beach, but his face fell when he saw Ryou’s torn clothes. “What, did you get attacked by the sharp end of the equipment, or did a giant monster actually show up?”

“Monster showed up,” Ryou said, one hand cradling his sore belly. “And it left me a present.”

“What?” Mariku rushed forward, ready to catch Ryou when his knees buckled. “What did this to you?”

“Pretty sure it was Cthulu, could be some other tentacle monster, though- gah!” Ryou gritted his teeth as there was an audible cracking noise from his swollen stomach. It looked like he’d swallowed a big hamster ball, and Mariku immediately set his hands on it.

“What did it do?”

“Felt like an egg…” Ryou’s back arched as there was another crack. “Oooooh, fuck…” The cracks coincided with stabs on his tender stomach walls, and he curled in on himself.

“You- you can do this.” Mariku said, eyes wide and clearly panicked himself. He slowly moved his hands around Ryou’s belly, feeling movement. There was definitely something hard in there, and he swallowed. “You’re fine, you’re fine.”

“Ooooh…” Ryou’s toes curled inside his sneakers. He fought the urge to hug his stomach close as jolts of sharp pain continued. He was beyond nauseous, and his stomach was both overfull and queasily sticky and slick. They were lucky the beach was empty since it was getting late, or he would have been giving quite a show.

A minute later, however, it just… stopped. His stomach still stabbed into itself when he moved, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been. He slumped unto his back.

“W-what…?” Ryou stared down at it until there was crunching like birds gnawing on bone and his stomach began to grow. He watched as his skin squirmed, distending with long bulges.

“I don’t think it’s an egg,” Mariku said somewhat numbly, and Ryou hiccuped, slime soaking his tongue and dripping down his cheek as his consciousness wavered. The last thing he remembered was Mariku reaching for his face.

_________

When Ryou woke up, he was tucked into bed, belly beyond sore and skin uncomfortably itchy. He could feel movement inside of him, the creature clearly restless. It had more than doubled in size since he’d passed out, putting him at what any normal human would look like at the end of a pregnancy as his stomach wriggled. More slime soaked his lips, and a nauseous burp had it dribbling onto his chin. “Oof…”

“Ryou? Oh, thank the gods you’re alive.” Mariku had been waiting just outside. “I made you some fish, figured after that you’d want to kill something ocean-related-”

Ryou’s stomach roared, and the desperate hunger hit him a moment later. “Yes, please.” He managed, the beast growing even more energetic as the smell of the cooking fish made it to the room. It was entirely possible that was what had woken him up.

He forced himself to sit up, realizing his belly was almost down to his knees now, and he groaned.

“This is what I get for wanting to focus on something other than ghosts for a while…”

Mariku brought him a plate in bed, and he scarfed it down. His stomach grumbled, and his mouth started watering again. “Do you… have any raw fish?”

“A few sardines, why?”

“Can you bring them to me?”

“Ryou…”

“Please.” Ryou’s puppy eyes were enough to convince Mariku, who brought him the tin. He tore it open and dropped all three remaining fish into his mouth. The salty flavor tickled his tongue, and the creature gave an appreciative clicking noise and slowed its frantic movements.

“If this wasn’t so horrifying it would be cool,” Ryou said, watching it sway his stomach from side to side.

“It’s an interesting kind of grotesque.” Mariku admitted, wincing as another wet burp from Ryou brought up more slime.

Ryou started feeling at his belly, realizing the parts that weren’t thick tentacles when he pressed down were sloshy. The thing must have pumped him full of ooze to make itself at home.

“I wonder how long it’ll be in here.”

“It better not be long.” Mariku said. “Nothing gets to hurt you.”

“If you can believe it, the actual experience wasn’t that bad. To be fair, I think some kind of aphrodisiac was involved since it’s hazy but hey, how many people can say they’ve been fucked by a tentacle monster and live?”

“We’ll see on the ‘live’ thing once that thing gets out of you.” Mariku said, prodding at it and getting a hiccup from Ryou this time.

————-

Soon, Ryou didn’t have a single shirt that fit in the house and had to wear a bathrobe. The most dramatic growth spurt had been soon after the egg had hatched, and it had somehow either eaten or absorbed the bits of the shell because it stopped poking at his tender stomach muscles from the inside soon after.

The bigger problem, though, was just because the growth spurts weren’t big didn’t mean he wasn’t getting bigger in general, or that having a squirming tentacle monster inside of him was comfortable. By the end of the week, he could barely get up, stomach hanging like a dead weight. It didn’t help that his hips were skinny, and the thin layer of fat around his stomach didn’t do much to camouflage the tentacles that were always moving. He had to walk slowly and lift his belly, which was hard to do for long- the angle was awkward and it was heavy.

He’d also developed an appetite for not only raw fish but whatever meat he could get his hands on. Sausages, steak, even the bits of chicken in his rice- it was the only thing that could make him feel even partially satisfied.

“Still nothing?” Mariku asked, rubbing lotion into the growing angry red stretchmarks that marred Ryou’s belly.

“Other than trying to see how far I can- urp!- stretch before I burst… Nope. It’s still stuck.” Ryou wiped at his mouth with a towel. The slime was a constant now, sliding up his throat to the point where he could barely taste anything besides the salty sludge anymore.

“It won’t burst out, will it? I don’t want to lose you.” Ryou waved a hand at that.

“I’ll be fine… you know how to resurrect me, right?”

“I’d rather it not come to that.” Mariku said dryly.

____

By the tenth day, he was stuck on the bed all the time, and his stomach had inched past his knees, He’d pulled a shirt on to stay warm, but the bottom of the fabric rested at the top of his massive gut. Trying to pull it down would just end with it torn.

His skin was even paler than usual, and when he tried to soothe it with rubs, he could see the blue veins in his hands. The more he ate, the more his stomach grew, with none of the nutrients going to the rest of his body as the parasite of a creature siphoned both his food and his energy. He was shaky and sweaty by the end, goosebumps covering his arms and legs.

Mariku was more than ready to just get someone to cut the thing out, but Ryou worried that it might just kill both of them once it was out if they tried.

It wasn’t until he started to mix up saltwater to chug that they both agreed they probably needed to get back to the water.

Mariku helped Ryou stand on wobbly legs, helping him lift his overstrained stomach long enough to get to the car. Any space left that wasn’t crammed with tentacles was thick ooze, and Ryou kept giving wet, queasy burps whenever the thing moved.

“How is it coming out?”

“Same way it went in, I assume- urrgh!” When Mariku made a sharp turn, it slammed against the side of his stomach, nearly driving him off the seat.

“I’ve got a knife in the glove compartment, the second it’s out, I’m killing it.”

“Let’s see if it tries to go- to go after us first…” Ryou groaned, hugging his stomach as much as he could to try and get it to stop pushing through his skin.

“You’re going to be fine, I’m going be fine, this is going to be fine…” Mariku quietly chanted to himself, over and over until they reached the water just after the sun had sunk below the waves. The few stragglers on the beach were packing up.

Ryou peeled his sweaty yoga pants off before Mariku rushed around the car to help him out.

“Does this feel right?” Ryou had never seen him so worried, and it drew a weak smile to his face even as he had to wipe more slime away.

“As long as you’re here, I’ll manage.”

Step by step, they managed to make it down to the edge of the water, with foam lapping at Ryou’s feet as he sat down. Sand itched at his legs, and the sweat running down his side made his fresh stretchmarks burn like hot peppers had been rubbed into them.

Ryou felt it start to press further forward, as if it could sense the waves nearby, and yelped it suddenly made a violent turn, forcing up enough slime that he gagged on it, having to spit it out on the sand in order to not choke.

“Ryou!”

“I- I think it’s coming out.” He wriggled his legs, but Mariku had to help him get his boxers off. It moved fast when it wanted to, and right now it was squeezing through his intestines. Ryou tasted copper, and spat blood on top of the sandy slime. Mariku grabbed the knife, using his other hand to ease Ryou’s legs open.

“Come on, you son of a bitch…” Mariku said. “You don’t get to hurt him and make it out of this alive.”

“Mariku, we’ve talked abOUT THIS!” His voice pitched up as it violently shoved itself through something that had probably torn.

“This thing isn’t human.” Mariku argued. “And it’s hurting you.”

“True, it- it is.” Ryou finally admitted, slumping back in the sand, not even caring it was getting in his hair. He could see his stomach starting to shrink as it moved along his body, but his legs twitched, thighs slicking with the squeezed-out slime when it started getting close to exiting. “G-get ready…” His eyes widened- it felt bigger than ever when a single tentacle prodded through. “Get out of the way, I- I can’t let you get hurt!”

“No way in hell.” Mariku growled out, grabbing the tentacle. It curled around his wrist, another forcing through Ryou’s hole, and Ryou gritted his teeth.

“C-come on…” He wished he’d prepared somehow, but he’d avoided thinking about how it was going to get out, and now a third tentacle spread him wide. Already it was bigger than the one that had put the egg inside of him. His head tilted up, and he couldn’t hold back a scream as four, five, six tentacles shoved out and pulled him wider than he thought possible. Either it was slime or blood dripping from them, and with the hot pain he could believe either.

Ryou panted, sweat now soaking him as he desperately tried to push, tried to get it over with. Mariku started tugging, which pulled another scream from his throat as the bulk of the mass made it to the exit. His vision was starting to bleed black, and he barely heard Mariku yelp himself as the creature started grabbing at him.

“Die, you stupid- gah!” There was a sticky squelching noise and Ryou was empty, feeling more liquid gush from his thighs. He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, before he leaned up on one elbow to see Mariku holding a single writhing tentacle with a trail of green blood leading to the water.

“It got away?” Ryou asked, and Mariku nodded.

“At least daddy dearest didn’t come back for it.”

“Shame. I kind of wanted a picture.” Ryou tried to smile, but every muscle in his body was exhausted.

Mariku handed him the tentacle  and his boxers, and scooped him up. “This will have to do.”

“This works.” Ryou watched it move whenever he squeezed it.

“But, the next time you see a giant monster?” Mariku said as he headed for the car. “Ask it to buy you dinner first.”

Ryou wiped something sticky from his mouth. “Deal.”

[squishybellies]

I could have continued this but I kept getting distracted

Nevena lie on top of The Collector, her friend and possibly new lover, though unconfirmed. During their first initial meeting Nevena had come into their rather odd living quarters for temporary shelter, although now it was fairly obvious she didn’t intend on leaving unless evicted. It had been a few weeks and they had been through quite a lot together, or at least as much as one can do cooped up in a brothel. She was usually sealed in her own special magic jar equipped with a bit of soul magic to provide her with extra protection in case she decided to shove herself in their throat again or engage in any other manner of dangerous activity. The Collector themself were an odd but friendly individual, if a little unhinged. She would be lying if she said she didn’t experience some sort of attraction towards them, although what kind exactly was yet to be determined. They hadn’t had a few guests in a while, although perhaps this was a good thing because Nevena’s love was starting to show on their waistline. 

Indeed the Collector had began to get a bit of a belly, it started a few days ago after an extensive feast of which Nevena had been a part of, and ended in all that food being converted into a large mass of sticky fat clinging to their tummy, resulting in a bit of a beer belly. Today, she sought to add to that form and seemed rather successful. As she lie on top of their overstuffed gut, they grabbed her by the feelers and yanked her in for a few kisses, followed by an abrupt stop when they let out a large belch. 

“Urp… Collector apologises-” The Collector tried to stifle their burps but continued to let out many quick, quiet ones mixed with sickly hiccuping. “Hhhhaaa- so, so sorry-” Nevena giggled as her face reddened beyond the normal amount. “It’s ok, it’s just us.” The Collector giggled themself, smiling bashfully, showing their long, blood-stained teeth before burping again, face reddening. “Eeheehehehe~” Their other hands slinked to their sides, squishing the still soft skin, they could feel it burble against their palms. 

Nevena smiled to herself and placed a cookie to his face, watching it get absorbed, loving the sound of their whines. “Oh my love, no more! Collector’s belly whines for you to stop!” Indeed it did look rather tight so she giggled more. “Naww, alright-”

[amnachil]

To the Perfection Chapter 2 Part 4

The next part for you guys :) More drama and... more drama that’s all.

Cody Thursday March 28

Wanting to please Thomas was a good idea. But hell if Cody knew how to do it. Now that he was convinced Ilhan and his crush were a thing he had decided to try his luck too. But the ginger literally hated him. He had tried everything... He had been coming to the gym with Joël in hope to have a training session the three of them together. He had tried his best during soccer's practice. But the truth was : Thomas didn't need him. He has a whole life without me. I wonder when I became an old memory for him... There was no point to ask any advice to Joël. He's nice and all but... Not very bright. So the teenager tried to spy on Ilhan. After all, his friend had succeeded to conquer Thomas's heart one way or another. But there was absolutely nothing special about him. Sure he was devoted, sweet and caring but Cody was all that too. And I know Thomas since kindergarten... And that was why this evening, Cody had came up with his ultimate plan. There was one person on earth who knew Thomas maybe better than Thomas himself. And luckily, this person would be back in two days for the weekend. The young teenager knocked at the Muller's door, a bit stressed. His ginger friend wasn't supposed to come back before hours. Because he's at Ilhan's place... Raphaël's boyfriend opened.

"Hi." greeted Cody. "You may not recognise me. I'm one of Thomas's friend ?"

The other nodded.

"Sorry but he's not here right now." he smiled.

"Well, that's not a problem since I didn't came to talk to him... Hum I was just... Well I don't know how to say it."

Dan looked at him curiously. He was a very chubby lad. Buff too. A great mix of fat and muscle to be fair, and Cody wouldn't put in a fight with him.

"I just wanted to talk to Raphaël this weekend about something..." he revealed. "I was just wondering if you could tell him that ? He doesn't answer his phone."

"Yeah, he's not in the country." replied the other. "And don't worry, I'll tell him. He should have some free time on saturday late afternoon."

"Nice. Thank you. Bye."

Cody left right away. This is my only chance. I need Raphaël to reveal me some intel about his sibling...

He was almost home when he recieved a text. Weird. Nobody ever texts me. But the content was even more surprising. Joël had sent him a link to the group chat of the class. Should I be offended I havn't been invited before ? He suddenly saw the photos. Thomas and Ilhan talking under the trees. Kissing. Going home. Jessica had posted a lot of them with a big caption :

< They're a couple ! So cool for our captain !!!! >

It hurt. Cody's heart clenched and he felt a wave of sadness take hold of him. This is nothing new. I already knew that. But it became more real now. He read Joël's text.

< Jo : OhMigOd ThoMy Is gAy !! ILhAn toO ! WhAt do You tHinK ?!! >

I feel like shit. I want to puke. All these years he had restrained his feelings because he thought Thomas was interested in girls. And now that they were growing apart, the love of his life happened to be into men. Another message popped in.

< Jo : I thInk thisis CoOl ! BuT Man ThomY coUd havE tOld uS ! >

Note for later : teach Joël how to type on a cellphone... Well of course their friend hadn't tell them. Because they weren't friends anymore. Barely acquaintances. We don't know him anymore. He finally replied.

< Cody : I hope they will be fine with this huge revelation. This is not a silly topic and Jessica did something bad. You should not talk to them about it before they agree to talk openly. >

< Jo : ToO Late !! xoxo TexTed Tomy. He SaiD iT wAs finE. He'S oky ! >

Cody shut off his phone. So it was fine ? I don't want to think about it anymore. Fine... They were a couple and it was fine if everyone knew about it. What are my chances in these conditions ? He decided to cry only when he was locked in his bedroom.

Dan Saturday March 30

Everything looked different when you were next to the person you loved. Dan couldn't say how happy he was to have Raphaël back. It's only for two days, but it feels so damn good. The morning went perfectly. Same for lunch time : it looked like the two brothers had made peace now. Thomas was smiling perfectly and acting nicely. So the college student couldn't picture what could go wrong. At least until Cody showed up. The teenager sat in the living room with Raphaël. He was obviously stressed, even shaking a bit. Well, Dan wasn't the most observant people on earth but he had noted how Thomas was staring at his "friend". The way he had tensed up when this one had came inside. There is something bad going on between them.

"You wanted to talk with me." smiled Raphaël. "I'm all ears."

"Yeah well... Sorry if I'm bothering you. I'll make it short."

"The faster, the better." approved Thomas. "My brother gets only two day for himself."

His comment brought a cold look from Raphaël and Cody became even more discomforted.

"It's just... I was worried about Thomas. I fear how our classmates will react to his forced coming out. I mean when the photo of him and Ilhan together went out, people were crazy. I don't want anyone to hurt him."

A blank followed. Dan blinked, stunned. Wait. I need time to process. Thomas's forced coming out ? Thomas and Ilhan ? The reaction of people ? A feeling of deja-vu made him uneasy. His own experience had been kinda similar. Next to him, Thomas sighed. He was apparently annoyed. Raphaël on the other hand didn't move an inch. He was like frozen.

"Uh... Did I said something bad ?" asked Cody.

"No." whispered the eldest brother. "I understand what you're saying. Being gay can be perceived as a sin and people can be very intolerant about it. Thomas must be very happy to have a friend like you who support him through this. Especially if his coming out wasn't... planned."

He glanced at his sibling who looked away.

"I'm also very happy for you Thomas." he continued. "It's nice to know you find someone you... can show affection to."

Dan frowned. It was very difficult to know what Raphaël was thinking. He's so impassive, so apathetic. I think he's trying very hard to show an emotion but he's failing.

"Maybe... Maybe you should discuss about it with Thomas himself." suggested Raphaël. "Oh and Dan can help, he had a similar experience. I will just... Go away."

When the college student arrived in the bedroom an hour later, his boyfriend was laying in the bed, covered by the blanket. Thomas, despite being a bit mad, had tried to be nice and he had explained things to Cody and Dan. So they're a couple for one month now. Well honestly I'm not that surprised.

"Can you close the door ?" asked Raphaël. "The light is bothering me."

His cold tone alerted Dan who obeyed diligently. He laid next to his man and passed an harm around his shoulders.

"Are you alright ?" he whispered.

Only silent. No he's not. But the brown lad didn't know why exactly. Yes it was quite a big thing but there were no reason to be in one hell of a state right ? Thomas was gay and he dated a classmate. It was all good news !

"Are you worried about your brother ?" he asked. "I know very well it can be scary but he's fine. He has friend who care about him. A wonderful and supportive brother. There is nothing common between my coming out and his. I can even ask Darren to watch him at school and..."

Raphaël suddenly raise his head. His face was particulary cold.

"You talked with Darren ?" he mumbled with a scaring voice.

"Well yeah ? He's my bestfriend remember ? Oh yeah I told you he was distant lately but we're better now. He was just having some doubts about himself."

His boyfriend dug his head in his soft chest.

"This is a shitty day." he whispered. "I just want to sleep."

"Okay. Come here baby."

Thomas Sunday March 31

"So... urp. We're... urp... boyfriend now ?"

"It has been a month. If people ask, tell them this."

Ilhan rolled his eyes. He swallowed the spoonful of jelly Thomas was giving him. A belly rub made him moan.

"I got that." he said. "But are we boyfriend boyfriend or what ?"

The ginger gave him a dirty look. How stupid can he be ?

"We're pretending to be a couple." he explained. "If people ask, we're dating. Isn't it clear enough ?"

With his two hands he pushed the other onto the mattress. He had a better view of his swollen stomach now. It looks nicely stuffed.

"Wait. Does that mean you love me now ?" asked again Ilhan.

"Heck do I look like I love you man ? You're gross."

While speaking, Thomas unbuttoned Ilhan's pants and stroked his dick. I'm sure he can fit at least one more pie.

"And why are we pretending again ?"

"That's defenitely not your business."

There were several reasons for it. First of all, even if he hated to admit it, Thomas needed to fuck someone to avoid any tragic accident with Dan. And Ilhan was better than a nobody. Secondly, now that everyone knew about their thing, it was easier to pretend to be a couple. And finally Raphaël wouldn't suspect that his brother has a huge (really huge) crush on his boyfriend if he was dating someone else. Thomas cut the pie.

"This is simple." he stated. "You continue to be exactly what you're : a perfect little piggy who is craving to be fucked. And at school be the same. Don't try to be sweet or to show affection, it would be sickening."

"O... Okay."

"Now let's finish this pie. I want the nurse to be horrified tomorrow when she realises you weight 86 kg (190 pounds) of pure blubber."

When he headed home on late afternoon, Thomas was thinking. He had made the best of this bad situation. I should have known people would eventually find out. Cody had truly screwed up this time. This useless stupid leech would pay for this one way or an other. But at least, now Raphaël knew and more importantly, Dan too. All I need now is to be better than my brother. He was coming closer to his home when he felt a cold. His surroundings were freezing. Or maybe it was only in his head.

"I told you to not talk to him ever again." a very, very (very) cold tone resonated. "Do I need to repeat myself ?"

Thomas decided it was better to hide. He ran behind the nearest tree and looked around. Raphaël was talking with Darren. I knew there was something fishy.

"Look, you're mad, I get it." assured the science teacher. "And you despise me, fair enough. But Dan is my bestfriend and I won't let him down. We're having fun together, I'm not a threat anymore !"

Anymore ?! What does that mean ? This is so interesting ! The temperature seemed to decrease. Everything looked about to die of exposure. Thomas had already lived such a phenomenon once. A very long time ago, when their father had almost hit their mother. Raphaël, 8 at the time, had ordered him to stop. He had been emitting the same aura back then and now. Needless to say, their father had never even raised his voice again.

"There is no way I let you hang out with my boyfriend." said the ginger.

His tone was deadly cold. Thomas almost see frost spead around him. It was frankly terrifying and he shivered. He would face the same dreadful voice if Raphaël discovered his plan to steal Dan's love from him.

"I assure you I'm not the same person than in middle school !" whined Darren with fear. "I beg you. I just want to be his friend. I won't tell him about us, never."

About what now ?! Thomas was clearly afraid of his brother but he smiled anyway. His science teacher and Raphaël had been a couple ! That was the best thing he could have asked for ! Man, I already picture Dan getting jealous... Raph getting mad... And when my dear love realise how scary he is... This is it. It was his perfect plan. He only needed proof.

To be continued

Cody is depressed because he has a crush on the most perfect person in the world... Although a lot of people would think otherwise. Ilhan being the first in line ;)

Anyway, our young ginger found a weakness to his dangerous (magical ?) brother. How will he exploit it ? Raphaël doesn’t seems good, but it’s only the beginning of his problems.

For those who wonder, Liam (MC of the College Society) believes Raphaël is a mutant. And maybe he’s right, because this is some terrifying aura that he has here.