#it gets really fucking bad when you're a pre-teen/teen because you just don't know WHAT to believe

[king-of-havoc]

I wish teens/pre-teens didn't exist. I wish people went from age 10 to age 20 with no in between

[schoenpepper]

Hii

Can I request Rook and Azul with an S/O(reader) who really hates their real hair color so they dyed it to another color. The boys never seen their S/O with their original hair color but let's say they found a childhood photo of them and questions their S/O about it. Turns out they had the same hair color as their abusive father so they've dyed it to another when they turned into a pre-teen

Sorry if it's too much and confusing but if you ever do it thank you in advance!

Faded Colors

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread

A/N: See how productive I am (please don't throw your tomatoes at me I'm just a poor college student and November fucked me up bad). Presenting two characters I almost never write because they're...not my favorite.

Masterlist

"Is this you?"

Your heart almost stops beating when you saw what Azul was holding up—a yellowed Polaroid with a familiar child clad in a little black outfit. You sit beside your lover, leaning on his shoulder as you quietly trace over the picture.

"I didn't know your hair was dyed."

You know he won't judge you for it, and certainly not when he hears the reason. But right now, nothing leaves your lips. You freeze in place and nod. Azul nods with you.

You don't need to explain.

Not when he scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around you. You know he understands because he presses the softest kiss on your forehead and murmurs, "you look better with dyed hair."

He knows exactly what to say. Always.

"Shall I help you next time? My dear, would you like to emulate my hair color perhaps?"

At that, you let out a little laugh and nod again.

"Sure. If you can find a good box dye that matches it."

Today won't be the day you tell him about your shattered childhood, but eventually, you'll give him the pieces and let him glue you back together.

You don't need to tell Rook anything. If not because of... unconventional methods, he'll already have an inkling of your past and reasons just by watching you. The way you almost obsessively schedule your hair appointments, how you clam up when the topic turns to family history and your childhood, it's all an open book to him.

He is a hunter, after all. And you are his most precious proie.

It's Saturday.

You wake up in a daze, then panic. Every three weeks, you're supposed to get your roots touched up to avoid even catching a glimpse of your actual hair color, but you got so backed up by exams and projects and events that made it impossible to actually remember anything else. You can buy the dye today, you can still make it—

"Bonjour, mon amour. I come bearing gifts!"

The familiar dramatic greeting makes you jump back, clutching at your hair to desperately hide the fading dye at the roots, smiling awkwardly.

"Oh, Rook, love, I actually need to go out and buy something."

"These?"

He hands you a plastic bag with your usual supplies, pushing you back into your room. "Dépêchez-vous, I shall assist you in reaching your full potential of beauty!"

Taglist:

@fsh1 @lemon-koii @yummyyummyinmytumny

[olderthannetfic]

Something I find really grating is people who self-identify as fandom olds who think it's gross of these damn kids these days to like and admit to liking interaction with their fanwork. "Back in my day I read fic in a .txt file with no ability to comment at all and we all liked it that way!" Okay but my mom wrote Star Trek zine fic and people would respond and pass on comments to the zine distributors about things that other fans wrote, drew, etc. It wasn't a moment of great shame where they awkwardly admitted yeah, they are guilty of the uncool sin of liking a thing someone else created. It was a "I love this and I want you to know I love it!" that was not done with a disclaimer going "not that I need human interaction, I'm a super cool lone wolf who needs no one!" and was received happily by fandom creators, who did not then cringe and go, "I'm sorry I like feedback, that's super gross of me, I know I should be against social interaction like the cool kids". Before fan zines, people were still writing fan letters to creators of things they liked. Before I knew what fanfic was, I still doodled fan comics when I was eight and liked it when my friends read it and said they liked it. Before fan letters, people still had fans of their work. Shakespeare spoke with fans. It's not a new, rare, sick thing to enjoy creating something and enjoy people commenting on what you've made.

"You're trying to turn fanfic into social media!!!1!" is always the strawman this gets met with, but... no. Before social media was a concept, before the oldest fandom old's grandpa was born, people were still sharing things with others and enjoying getting a response. People have not, traditionally, created in the hopes of never having to put up with something as awful as someone saying "I loved this!" about their creation. Either my entire Art of World Civilization class last semester was wrong or in fact humans have traditionally been totally fine with people reacting to what they create and in fact sharing things with the intent no one speak to you about it is a very foreign, unusual thing, not a new-fangled trend of the icky teens. Creating things for the joy of it and not hiding it away lest someone make a comment was the way things were done for thousands of years. That's how folk art works.

Maybe some people really long for the days of downloading things as a .txt file and not seeing hits, kudos or (worst of all) comments. But the idea that liking comments or liking replying to comments means you're part of the problem in fandom baffles me. Why would I dislike it when someone says, "I really like this line!" and why would not replying be better? I get it, I'm Gen Z, I'm a special snowflake, I'm desperate for attention, etc., but so are most generations before mine. Art galleries in pre-Revolutionary Paris didn't exist because of us darn kids and our need for validation. They existed because liking feedback is pretty natural. And not wanting to see feedback is natural, too - that's why I know so many adults who have never shared anything they've written - but it's not the only "correct" opinion out there.

It's weird that in an era of death threats, rape threats, suicide bait, racism, Islamophobia, antisemitism, transphobia and queerphobia in fandom all being discussed, instead of going, "Harassment is bad" a good chunk of people went, "Interaction is bad and liking it is bad, too."

Fandom as a solitary endeavor doesn't make sense to me. When did we go from "fans interacting is fine" to "oh gross, fucking kids and their attempts to turn AO3 into social media"?

I see people like the anon who proposed the "win" solution of not even being able to leave kudos on a work on AO3, shutting down all features that might risk a word being spoken to another person, and I just don't get it. I don't get why that would be a good thing. I get that if you speak to others you risk a negative interaction, so some people don't want to do it. Wanting existing spaces to rip out any and all features in place that allow communication, I don't get. I genuinely do not see what is wrong about interacting with someone about something you wrote, or about something someone else wrote.

It's honestly kind of depressing to me to imagine not being able to gush and write a super long comment to an author about how much I like their work. I love picking out individual lines I loved and pieces of prose that painted a picture for me. I enjoy quoting bits and explaining how that worked even better for me on a reread than it did the first time now that it's in full context. I like telling authors how a scene made me bite my lip because I was worried and tense because I was so invested in their writing. And no author, not one, has ever turned to me and gone, "Ugh, you Gen Z and your comments! Whatever happened to the good old days?"

I see the "don't speak, want to be spoken to or respond" attitude on DW and on tumblr from people who self-identify as fandom olds and I'm sorry to get all Gen Z psychoanalytical on you, but all I think to myself when I read that is, "Who hurt you?", because that's the only reason I can imagine someone viewing people interacting with others as bad. It reads as a trauma thing.

--

Really? That's a "fandom Old" thing now? I thought most people were still hung up on how community was so much better on LJ or whatever.

[meowmeowuchiha]

Ranting about the new Borderlands movie under the cut

Okay I'm just gonna say it

The Borderlands movie trailer? Doesn't look AS BAD as I thought it would, but still awful.

Most of the characters are extremely miscast

But honestly? I don't think Kevin Hart is that terrible of a miscast.

If it was Borderlands 2 and pre sequel Roland then yeah he'd be awful and I feel like that's what most people are thinking of.

But if you're going based off of first game Roland? He's not that bad. Just listen to the voice lines from Roland from the first game. Can find it on YouTube easy enough.

On to everyone else!!

Ariana Greenblatt as Tiny Tina: Honestly, I'm gonna just say that it's both miscast and miswritten, but I acknowledge that it's probably gonna be pretty damn hard to find someone who could pass as a younger teenager (since Tina in the 2nd game is 13) who could also feasibly act as Tina. She's a very very unique character and I feel like acting as her, even if she WAS written properly, would be incredibly difficult. Getting that combination of batshit insane, childish naivety, and actually knowing what she's doing would be TOUGH. Ariana Greenblatt, from what I've seen, does well enough as bratty snarky teens. Tina was written as that for some god forsaken reason.

JLC as Tannis (aside from the fact that JLC is a fucking zionist. I'm only critiquing casting based on how they are as actors, not whether or not they're decent people.) isn't...terrible? It's odd, and I can't give a definitive opinion on it because hardly anything is heard from her in the trailer.

Jack Black as Claptrap: Honestly, personality wise, not a bad fit for Claptrap. However, voice wise, absolutely a terrible fit. Claptrap's voice I'd supposed to be shrill, nasally, and just overall ear grating. That's part of his CHARM. The rest of the fault in how awful they did with Claptrap lies in the writing. I will admit, I'm not certain who I would've cast as Claptrap instead, but I at the very least would have tried to see if Jack Black could try and at least imitate Claptrap's voice??? Or just...like I said, found someone better.

Cate Blanchett as Lilith: Yeeeaaaah, very miscast. I'm not even all that upset by the age thing. That's like....a tiny tiny gripe that tbh I think people are focusing way too much on. When the real problem is the fact that Lilith was HORRIBLY written for the movie. Lilith, in the games, is this hotheaded, snarky, cocky woman. She's the woman who's told "hey, for strategy reasons, we need you to stay behind for this fight" and responds with "no I'm going >:(" and shows up anyways. She's the one who goes "I...liquefied a guy. It was AWESOME!! This eridium stuff is the TITS!!!". She is not the stone cold badass bitch that she seems to be in the movie. I will admit, I haven't seen anywhere NEAR Cate Blanchett's full filmography. I've only seen a tiny handful of movies. But from the ones I've seen, she doesn't tend to play characters like Lilith. Her characters tend to be more serious. Less snarky and sarcastic. She just....doesn't seem to fit in the Borderlands universe at all really to me??? She'd be miscast in pretty much any role. The only one I could MAYBE see her managing would be like....Athena. Again, not her fault, just...the vibes. Lilith was terribly written for the movie, and was also terribly miscast.

I can't really say anything regarding anyone else, as I didn't really see enough of them to form even the barest hint of an opinion. Either way, the movie is going to be awful, even if it might not be as terrible as I'd thought it would be before the trailer.

If you're gonna watch it, pirate it if you care about Palestine. The director and at least a couple of the actors (JLC, Edgar Ramirez) are zionists, and yet more of them (Jack Black, Gina Gershon) are of the mind that it's a two sided conflict and they want both sides to make peace and their hearts go out to both sides.

[mytastessuck]

Bo Burnham: what. (Full Show)

Welcome to my first live show review and the last (sort-of) album review I'll do for this era of the blog.

I've been a fan of Bo Burnham since I saw the "Words Words Words" music video on Comedy Central when I was in my teens. Then I saw the live show for that and I was hooked, making a channel for him on Pandora (remember that) and looking up everything he did for music. I even got the Egghead poetry book for Christmas. I'm proud to say that, while his older stuff really doesn't hold up, he's more than noticed and has evolved to stay with the times, which I'm certain he's proud that he still meets my high standards for performers. And speaking of performers...for this review, I will be going by the tracklisting on the album instead of events as they happen in the show because the jokes are...pretty decent actually but I don't feel like stopping to rank each and every one, especially when they're so quick and simple. I want to go into his songs instead of his actual moments of stand-up because, like Kaiser Neko (or maybe it was Lanipator?) once sort of criticized, I think he's a better performer than a comedian. He knows how to sign, compose and play to a crowd better than carry an entire show with just jokes. So that's what I'll be focusing on. Thanks for reading the ramble and enjoy this review of the free show.

Intro

Like I said, better performer than comedian. Watch him do a bunch of pre-planned gags to a great track and make it all work with little moments of prop humor. Best bits include "Prolonged Eye Contact" and the moment where he spits up the invisible water.

Track Score: 10/10

2. A World On Fire

I don't care if it's quicker than his jokes. This is a solid gag.

Track Score: 8/10

3. Sad

As a person with empathy issues, I know exactly how debilitating it is to possess when the world sucks so much. So good on Bo for making a song that makes fun of it. Good on him.

Track Score: 9/10

4. I Fuck Sluts

Didn't need the purpose of the poem explained at the end but I get that's part of the joke. Excellent show of how misogyny can develop in others though.

Track Score: 9/10

5. What Did I Do Last Night?

Better quick joke. Love it lots and it's always what I think of when I hear the title phrase.

Track Score: 10/10

6. Let Brain, Right Brain

Cool song with a cool concept. It's interesting to see a guy therapize himself on stage and he gives life to both parts of his brain in interesting ways. This is why he acts now on occasion.

Track Score: 9/10

7. #deep

#justsmartassthings. Funny song. I forgot how well he could sing while still messing around.

Track Score: 9/10

8. Beating Off In A Minor

Really need to see this one on video to appreciate it. Even those without a penis can barely handle the second-hand cringe...

Track Score: 10/10

9. Poems

They're alright, though you're better off just getting the book. I personally recommend Perfect.

Track Score: 7/10

10. From God's Perspective

Alright, the crown jewel of the show. Still holds up today, even the rape line surprisingly. Although getting so judgemental over people abstaining from pork might offend Haram or Kashrut followers...either way, still worth a listen.

Track Score: 9/10

11. Andy The Frog

Bit of a meh shaggy dog story. Not even bad, just not on the caliber of the other parts of the show.

Track Score: 6/10

12. Out Of The Abyss

See, on the CD, this is Bo interacting with a fourteen year old attending the concert with his mother by using the joke we see in the video of a pedophile trying to lure in a child with a candy bar. He also tells a girl who loves him that she doesn't and explains what a parasocial relationship. So listen to that when you have the chance instead of the show which is just the pedophile joke by its lonely self.

Track Score (live show): 7/10

13. Repeat Stuff

This was a single and it deserved to be because Bo went off with this one. Pop, idol music, teen bop? They've apparently had it too good for too long because Bo tears them apart and still has time to get the audience to participate in a mini-rally while he does so. Probably his best work...and still relevant!

Track score: 10/10

14. We Think We Know You

Damn...greatest way to end the show. You know, for a while, TV Tropes had a entry called Becoming The Mask on Bo's page that accused Bo of becoming lost in his stage persona for a while. Their sources? Some fans...yeah, remember to stay woke on stupid wikis, guys. It's still there...so this song will always be relevant.

Track Score: 11/10

Show Score: 8.9/10

Gonna take a break for the rest of the week then, and I might be lowballing here, but I think I'll have the rest of the songs taken care of in a few weeks. See you then!

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

[ID in alt]

chosen works with knives and swords and no one has used his real name in like ten years and people get creeped out by how little he talks sometimes (speaking is inefficient, there are easier ways to get a point across, autistic king) but augustus always reads him perfectly and fills the silence anyway so working with augustus is so easy. he's just also extraordinarily annoying, and chosen shouldn't need easy anyway, but they end up working together anyway bc it's the best use of both of their time. chosen does up close work while augustus covers him from the wings

augustus works primarily with guns and has Gun Autism in that he can take apart and rebuild any of his weapons cold (the first time chosen saw this he was reluctantly impressed; but after he just gets irritated with all of the other gun toting agents who Can't do what augustus does) and also accuracy is one of his favorite games, so he's one of the best shots in the agency. chosen tells him to shut up on missions sometimes, but he never means it. other people do. he's been doing this too long for his feelings to get hurt by it anymore, but sometimes augustus just wants someone to listen to him talk without hating him for it

brianna is their superior officer; she used to do field work, but it's been a long time and she doesn't like to fuck up her manicure. she never sounds tired when chosen calls her, no matter what time it is. she's the full time handler of both augustus and chosen, so they don't get to choose whether they work with her most the time. occasionally, they'll get another handler but still be working the same mission together and they spend the whole time bonded together about bitching about their substitute handler, which is genuinely what they call them. she's good at her job and efficient and she respects their weirdness without making it weirder. chosen has only met her in person a few times, but they have a rich friendship over the phone. this is not least of all because the three times they've met in person, she's wanted to touch his face (to do his makeup). she and augustus get lunch once a week.

jdb and augustus are honestly friends. most everyone is very disturbed by this. they played magic the gathering together as teens and they are the only people they know of in the agency that knew each other pre-agency. john (really really badly) tried to flirt with brianna once and she tossed him out of a window. it was only the second story so he was fine. they're friends now. augustus only works with jdb for the most part; chosen's location coordinator varies. if you give jdb a set of coordinates he knows a general area of 300 square miles or so around where you're talking about off the top of his head.

billy floridaman only sometimes works with augustus but always works with chosen bc chosen is picky about who handles his knives. augustus is less picky about his guns, and much more adaptive if they're lost or replaced. flirts with jdb constantly and horribly when they're both assigned to a chosen-augustus mission, being as that's typically the only time they spend together professionally. the best part is the jdb does not realize that this man is flirting with him. he thinks billy is just really nice. no one else has this misapprehension. chosen would tell him what's going on because he has no social graces and even he is reading this room, but instead he's studying them like bugs

no one really knows what sarah christ does. a lot of her missions are retrieval, but also someone always ends up dead? directions unclear, dick caught in ceiling fan. she cannot fucking stand augustus. at all. he starts talking and she becomes a rabid wolverine. surprisingly, she does like chosen alright. does she think he's annoying and extra? yes. but is he as annoying and extra as his typical counterpart? god fucking no. sarah typically works alone in the field; brianna is her usual handler as well. john down bad is openly terrified of her. billy tried to come on to her once and she barked at him

augustus and chosen as frequently assigned partners in a spy agency who are both under the impression that brianna (their superior) assigns them to each other out of spite, when really the two of them yelling at each other is miles more productive than when they get assigned to other people

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Asks: How about some Wrecker Fluff?

Y/N is on her period. She tries to hide the fact from the boys but Hunter can smell it and Tech knows because of his useless facts. Clones probably aren't taught much about the female anatomy as it's not "important" for a Soldier. Wrecker knows something's wrong and after Y/N explains the issue, he ends up bringing her stuff like chocolate and cuddling to make her feel better. Bonus points if she ends up losing her crap on a whole bunch of baddies. Whether it's Droids, bounty hunter, or something else.

I think this is cute- so Ima do it

Strong Muscles Stronger Gut| Wrecker

"Are you. Um..." Hunter spoke.

The two stood in the hanger, both alone.

"What?" Y/n asked.

"You uh...smell...stronger"

"I what!?"

"I mean! Well! You smell...diffrent." Hunter tried to explain, "You do atleast once a month for a week. Are you okay?"

Y/n rubbed her temples- oh so she had to have this talk.

"Yes. Im fine." Y/n spoke, "its a girl thing."

"A. Girl thing?"

"Yeah." Y/n spoke, "Every girl gets- well most, usually around pre teens."

"Its important then?" Hunter asked, "I uh. Know she won't want to go to me about it. She might. I- I don't know-"

Hunter started to ramble, mixing up his words with uhs and ums. He was talking about Omega.

"Can. Uh. You explain it to me? I know it affects you. I just...wanna be there for her you know?"

Y/n nodded, she had explained periods before to boys- men- young girls that were sobbing in the bathroom confused.

Y/n explained what was happening to her body, and what essentially Omega would go through. She told him- everything- spilled all the beans. Y/n had offered to show how much periods really hurt and he agreed saying "its only fair so I understand"

Y/n held his shoulder, he growing increasingly worried.

"What are they doing?" Wrecker asked as he watched them from a far.

Tech looked up from his work, Y/n holding and apologetic face as she then proceeded to slander his guts, kneeing his stomach as hard as possible.

Hunter doubled over letting out a spew of Mando as he went down.

"Yeah thats about a quarter of the pain. But it depends on each girl." Y/n told him, as he was slolwy getting up.

"Remind me never to call you weak even if we are just messing around." Hunter spoke Y/n holding his shoulder.

"Sorry about that..."

"Oh." Tech spoke understanding what was happening, "Y/n must be busy this week then."

"Busy?" Wrecker asked looking at the two, Y/n now in pain as she held Hunter's shoulder leaning over holding her stomach.

"Right now?! You didnt even do anything?!" Hunter complained.

"E-excatly- fuck! Fuck fuck! Ow..."

"Is she okay?" Wrecker asked Tech.

"It will go away- soon- unless. How many days has it been since mid week?"

"Uh..." Wrecker spoke, "three?"

"Makes sense." Tech spoke, "she has most of her pains three days in."

"Three days in of what?" Wrecker spoke.

"Menstruation." Tech spoke, "hand me the-"

Wrecker handed him a tool, "no not- oh yes this one thank you."

"What's Menstruation?" Wrecker asked.

"When a women, in this case, our lovely brutally honest Medic, Y/n." Tech infromed, "is going through a cycle once of month..."

Tech contuined to ramble- Wrecker. Well Wrecker didnt process one piece of information Tech was saying.

"What?" Wrecker asked.

Tech sighed looking back at Wrecker, "she bleeds and has cramps."

"Why is she bleeding? Did she get hurt?"

"Wrecker-"

"Is she okay-"

"Yes-"

"Then why is she-"

"Wrecker!" Tech stopped him, "her monthly bleeding means she's healthy, shes fine. Sure she is emmense discomfort and I certainly hate to see our sister like such, but thats what makes her strong- well also the fact that she can- at any momment be with child, carry the damn thing for almost a year give birth and take a squadron of droids down with just one blaster."

Tech looked back at Wrecker who still looked confused out his mind as Tech sighed, "You know somethings wrong?"

"Yeah." Wrecker answered.

"Go ask her."

"Good idea!"

Wrecker made his way over to Y/n and Hunter the pain Y/n was mild now, she could deal with it.

"Wrecker." They both greeted.

"H-hi."

Y/n looked at him worriedly, "something on your mind?"

"Can. I talk to you?" Wrecker asked, "alone?"

Y/n looked at Hunter, "I'll leave you to it." Hunter responded and left.

Y/n looked up at Wrecker worried, "Wrecker? Hun? What's wrong you look worried?"

"Tech says you're bleeding." Wrecker tried to explain.

"I'm bleeding?" Y/n asked- oh- oh here we go again.

"Y-yeah.." Wrecker spoke rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "and I. Don't really ever understand what comes out of Tech's mouth....unfortunately...and I saw you in pain for the last three days. I just- are you okay?"

Y/n smiled at Wrecker, "Im fine."

"Oh. Oh good." He spoke, not seeming fully satisfied with what she had said, "but uh. Why are you bleeding? Can I stop- We stop you from bleeding?"

"Please I wish you could." Y/n spoke with a light chuckle, "No Wrecker, see women once a month go through a cycle, it unfortunately makes you bleed like you're birthing hell out of your guts but is one of the ways we stay healthy."

"Oh." Wrecker spoke, "so. You bleed to stay healthy? When I bleed Tech's always poking me with needles."

"Well... yes and no. The cycle once a month helps get rid of an egg- well its called an egg, but Im not a chicken alright?" Y/n explained.

Wrecker sat and listened intently to her, something that wasn't really common when learning about what would be considered a random thing to him.

Y/n was pretty impressed by him to say the least. She had never seen him so focused, and it was honestly kind of cute.

"But boys or men don't have it." Y/n told him.

"That doesnt seem fair! Why do you have to suffer?" Wrecker argued as Y/n shrugged with a laugh.

"You tell me." She smiled.

It went silent as he thought intently, "well nothing can make you feel better? While your on your period?"

"Well because of War I've been so busy with fighting That I've only used heat packs and compresses. Usually I just have to fight through it." Y/n spoke, "but I've heard of alot of women saying like affection makes them feel better."

Wrecker hummed in thought, "Hey! Wrecker! Y/n!" Omega called.

The two turning there heads seeing the girl across the hanger with the others.

"We're going to a Cantina for dinner! Come on!"

"Come on Wrecker." Y/n spoke.

They met up with the rest of the group, walking to the Cantina with as usual happy Omega. They sat down for dinner as usual. Talking back and forth with smiles. Wrecker would frown though everytime Y/n winced, closing her eyes taking deep breaths. She was obviously in pain.

"Can I leave earlier?" Wrecker asked.

"Uh, sure?" Hunter asked as Wrecker got up.

"Can I come?!" Omega asked.

"Oh. Uh..." Wrecker spoke, "not this time...sorry Omega."

"Oh." Omega frowned, "Okay then! I'll see you later!"

Wrecker left the group who was relaxing.

"Odd." Tech spoke, "Wrecker always likes to take Omega."

"Maybe he's found a girl." Y/n recommend leaning back and drinking her water.

"I doubt that." Echo spoke, "thats not him"

"Maybe he just wants to go back and sleep?"

"Now that sounds like Wrecker." Hunter admitted.

Y/n shrugged, the group talking casually. Until some bounty hunters came up to them.

"Well hello Doll."

Y/n only contained her arguement about physics with tech.

"Whats a princess like you doing hanging around a few clones?" The man spoke with a purr.

"Call me princess again and you'll have no cock."

The men laughed as the batchers kept quiet, it was bad to mess with her in one of her moods.

"Oh come on Princess. Whats a small fry like you gonna do?"

Y/n quickly grabbed her pistol from her tigh, aiming it at the guys head.

"I warned you didn't I?"

"W-woah now put the-"

She aimed the gun down shooting the man right in the Kenobis.

"FUCK! SHE SHOT ME IN THE DICK!"

"I fucking warned you!" Y/n argued.

"What the hell!" His friends shouted.

Y/n lifted the gun up, "It may just be on electric shock but I will turn it to live ammo!"

"You bitch!"

Y/n growled as they came at her, Y/n grabbing a bottle on the table smashing it against of there heads as they fell to the floor. The third ramming Y/n into the table as he pulled out a knife, Y/n reaching back grabbing a fork and stabbing the man in the shoulder.

He cried out in pain as he fell to the floor.

The group left the cantina after paying, no bystander daring to make a comment. The group returning to the Havoc Maurder.

"Wrecker! Wrecker! You should of been there!" Omega cheered rushing inside to find the large batcher.

Y/n rubbed her stomach in pain, "still bad?' Echo asked.

"Just a bit yeah..." she groaned.

"I can see if we have any heat patches" Echo spoke as Y/n nodded in thanks, the group walking in.

Omega came back out, "Y/n Wrecker wants you in the bunks."

Y/n nodded, Echo handing her a heat patch.

"Thanks."

Opening it with her teeth she walked towards Wrecker and her's shared bunk.

"Yeah Wrecker? Omega said-" She stood seeing Lula on her bed and a large paper bag.

"Hey!" He cheered holding lots of blankets in his hands and in his blacks.

"Hi." She spoke, "whats up?"

"Oh well I heard about the fight." Wrecker spoke, "and uh. I know you've been in pain for a few days so this is to make you feel better!"

Y/n cocked an eyebrow up still confused, Wrecker wrapping her in one of the blankets as she held it so it stayed in place.

"What in the bag?"

"Well me and Omega always go get sweets and it makes us feel good so..."

Y/n walked over seeing the mass amount of choclate bars,

"I bought a few." Wrecker spoke.

A few? More like a whole isle.

"And thought made you'd want a hug." Wrecker recommend, climbing into the bottom bunk, it was often they shared a bunk.

"Oh." Y/n spoke, "uh. Are you sure? I don't wanna...you know bleed on you by accident."

"You've bleed on me on the battle feild how is this any different?" Wrecker spoke with a smile.

Y/n chuckled, only Wrecker.

Wrecker had wrapped a blanket around him waiting with open arms to Y/n. Y/n smiled making her way into his arms, her blanket wrapped around her and his, Wrecker pulling another blanket over them. She smiled head in Wrecker's chest. He rubbed the middle of her back as she hummed in pleasure, her head barried into his warmth.

"Your like a heater..." she spoke muffled as he chuckled, rubbing up and down her spine.

"Do I ever tell you how much I love you?" Y/n purred, "especially your back rubs..."

He kissed her head as she smiled.

"Thank you Wrecker." Y/n told him.

"Anything for you, after all. Your always making sure we're all okay."

[oonajaeadira]

I saw your recent response to javispinkshirt and I wanted to applaud you for treating this situation with kindness. I understand where a lot of creators are coming from right now, but it was nice seeing you handle this with a gentle but firm kindness.

I remember making a dumb mistake online and being canceled for it before being canceled was a thing. I can't speak for everyone, but I think if you had social media as a pre-teen/teen/young adult regardless of how old we are now, we probably made at least one huge fuck up that we learned from. And as much as javispinkshirt's has hurt others with their actions, I really don't think harassment is deserved. They clearly have learned from their mistakes and I think it's time to move on and I hope people can learn to have your kindness moving forward.

The hardest thing about this day in age is being unintentionally ignorant. I think people forget that not every person's intent is malicious, and where feelings are justified, not all actions are. I really hope everyone can get past this and let javispinkshirt learn from their mistakes and move on. No one deserves to be harassed and abused over and over again. Like I said, everyone's feelings are valid, but these actions are not. That's how you lead to suicide and mental health issues.

I really hope people see your message and maybe even this and recognize that a few people letting this person know what they did was wrong and hurtful is enough. Bombarding them over and over won't inspire change, it'll most likely inspire spite and resentment and I don't want anything to escalate more to where people get hurt.

That being said, javispinkshirt, I forgive you. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this bullshit and know that there are still safe places online and in the fandom for you who give second chances. I hope you are able to move on and put this behind you, and I know it's hard right now, but it gets easier as time moves on.

As I was lately discussing with a friend, it seems more and more that a lot of our interactions could do with a little more humility. While javispinkshirt corrected their mistake, I can very much sympathize with Jules' reaction.

It seems like more and more these days, people have a hard time just ...admitting they did wrong. Just owning up to it. If you approach someone and tell them they've done something wrong or hurtful, our society has taught them to fight back, be defensive, win.

In javispinkshirt's case, it sounds like Jules went to them and said, "hey, you're doing wrong and hurt to me and I want you to remedy it." If JPS had said, "I didn't know, I'm sorry, my bad, I'll fix it" right away, feelings wouldn't have been hurt and trust could have instantly been regained.

But it seems like JPS tried to deflect back onto Jules by telling her it was her fault for posting her work where it could get stolen. This shows instant disrespect.

It's a learned reaction. And it's not a good one. But societal molds can be hard to break.

I remember having a conversation with my father when I was little when I learned that convicts can be let out of jail once they serve their time. I asked my dad why we didn't just brand or tattoo criminals so we knew they were criminals. And my father told me, "because everyone needs a chance to prove they can change and be better."

So once cancel culture became a thing I was horrified. Everyone deserves a second chance. I stand by that.

But it helps if people are okay with just being wrong. Being human. Admitting to a mistake. We all make them, every single one of us. We only do more damage when we deflect. It's okay to say "I'm sorry." It's okay to say "I didn't know." It's okay to say "I won't do that again and let me ask questions so I know how to do it right."

And it is the right of the person who has been hurt NOT to give that forgiveness. That is valid.

But, in fact, admitting your fault will find you acceptance and forgiveness so much much faster because it shows care for the other.

Cancel culture became a thing when people stopped acknowledging their mistakes and the hurt they cause. When they defiantly defend themselves, then there is no other action but to shun them. A person who hurts and cannot learn not to hurt...how else can you defend yourself from that? You turn away and warn others not to go near them.

But a person that instantly shows compassion and understanding, listens to the other person and tries to understand how they feel, who does not have to win every situation...that is a person who can easily be forgiven and embraced.

It's hard at first. But it becomes easier with time.

I am sorry there had to be any hurt in this situation at all.

[necros-writing-stuff]

"You're joking." Bailey took another drag from his cigarette, an unamused glare leveled at his only real friend. Eden sat across from him, on the other side of his desk. The chair he was in, too small for his height and weight. It creaked when the hunter shifted, sitting up straighter in the chair ment for children and teens.

"I'm not." Eden's deadpan expression and monotone response felt like a punch in the gut. Or a knife in the back. Not that Bailey would let him know that.

The caretaker let out a cloud of smoke before snuffing his cigarette in the ashtray to his left. He opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, the cheap stuff you used to get wasted fast. He kept the good stuff at home, the expensive, quality kind ment to be sipped on while reading by the fire, his spouse's head in his lap. Resting, or blowing him; he didn't care which. God, he wished he could be there instead right now.

The cap of the bottle was uncerimoniously flicked off, bouncing off the wall and landing in the trash across the room. Bailey brought the glass to his lips and began drinking the amber liquid.

"Nice shot-"

"Don't fucking start with me, Eden." Bailey snapped, bringing the whiskey down hard on his desk. The sound was a lot louder in the otherwise quiet room. For a moment, the only sound was from his ancient computer. The monitor humming with life. He had three new emails from high paying clients, but he couldn't focus on anything but the sick joke in front of him.

"You're being childish." Eden grunted, shifting in the wooden chair.

"Childish? I'm being childish?! You're the one who's trying to fuck my kid!" Bailey's hands came down on the desk, his chair pushed out from under him as he stood. Eden quirked an eyebrow.

"You sell children all the time. Figured it'd be the same with that one." He shrugged, much too calm for Bailey's liking. He grit his teeth and breathed heavy out his nose. There'd be no good in killing Eden. He'd feel bad about it, his kid would be crushed and, most importantly, his spouse would be upset.

He used his foot to drag his leather office chair back to him and ran his hands through his hair, mussing it. He dropped back down in his seat and glowered at his "friend".

"It's different with my kid." He said sternly. He hadn't kept many secrets from Eden in regards to his home life. Hell, he let you visit him! Eden knew damn well you were one of two people he gave a shit about and yet here he was!

"Is it because your spouse?" Eden asked, cocking his head to the side like a dog. He spent too much time in the woods. He was going feral. He was going fucking feral and he wanted to buy Bailey's only (actual) child. He didn't give a shit if you were an adult, almost finished with high school and ready for uni. He was your father damn it! You were still a baby to him!

"No. It's not because of my spouse." Before he felt the itch to grab his gun itch up his arm, he took another long swig of whiskey. How could Eden not get it? He was like family to you! To him! What the actual fuck?!

"You think someone else would take better care of them?" Eden countered. Had Bailey said that out loud? Regardless, the caretaker pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That's not the point Eden." He let out a defeated groan.

"What is?" Bailey stared hard at Eden, searching for any hint of humor or malice, or anything that might give away that his childhood friend didn't actually want to bone his baby.

"The point," He found none. Bailey ran his hands through his hair again.

"Eden, is that you're like an uncle to them. It's as close to incestuous as you could possibly get. Not only that, you're significantly older than them and quite frankly," Bailey pulled out another cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag before letting the smoke fill the air between them.

"I'd rather they leave for uni and never have to come back here. I don't want them living in the forest with a man who's forgotten basic decencies. Like not requesting to engage in sexual acts with their friends' kid." Bailey held his fresh cig between his middle and ring fingers, studying Eden. He didn't want it to come to blood, but he'd done worse things in his life. Eden chuckled.

"So there's something you won't take money for." He said, his smile genuine and amused. His spouse would be so upset if he killed Eden. They'd be so, so disappointed if he went home with bruises and bloody knuckles from beating the shit out of their friend. He was sure they would understand, of course, he just didn't want them knowing it came to blows. His perfect little spouse was already aware of all the horrible, fucked up shit he did. He didn't want to push it.

"Two somethings." Bailey corrected. He had a small picture of you and your other parent hidden in his desk. Helped him not kill the orphans that were too young to sell. It was also helping him resist the urge to smash the half drank bottle of whiskey over Eden's head.

"I'm not asking for you to pimp them out." Eden spoke like they were talking about the weather. Like Bailey wasn't doing his damndest not to kill him.

"I said, I wanted to buy them. For keeps." Bailey flicked the ash off his cigarette.

"And what does for keeps mean?" Bailey could see the gears turning in Eden's head. He didn't like it. Eden wasn't dumb muscle. He was strong, sure but he was also smart and resourceful. That made him dangerous. After an agonizing minute passed, Eden spoke.

"Like you and your spouse." Bailey blinked slowly, dumbfounded.

"You want to marry my eighteen year old. Who you've known since they were an infant."

"Yes." Bailey sat back in his chair and pulled a phone from his pocket. Not one of his burner phones he used for criminal activity, but one he bought specifically to contact you and his spouse. He quickly selected your other parent's number and called them.

The pair listened as it rang, and a soft voice came from the line. The sound of something boiling and the clattering of dishes could be heard in the background.

"Hello?" Bailey's spouse answered. Bailey ran his free hand through his hair again, further wrecking it. He was an incredibly prideful man. If Eden had been anyone else, he'd be dead. If his spouse was anyone else, he wouldn't speak to them. If you were anyone else, he wouldn't give a shit. But three strikes and he's out.

"Eden's lost his mind. I can't speak with him. Please explain to him why he can't marry our child." He knew he sounded pathetic and defeated. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. Thus, he chose the option that wouldn't affect his marriage.

"I'll be there in five." Oh. They sounded so... Angry. He hadn't expected that. They were always so soft and gentle, they rarely got really, truly angry at any one person. Of course, this was their baby they were talking about. You were as precious to them as you were Bailey.

Eden seemed just as curious to see them pissed off as he was.

(- anon 🚩 then Prequel!pc showed up, the three of them yelled at eachother, exchanging low blows and personal insults and then current!pc came in cause no one was home and eden proposed and they said yes and they left together and fucked for a whooooooooole week. The end.)

Oh what I would give to be a fly on that wall.

And you just know Current-PC and Eden would come visit for dinner every week and Bailey would have to sit there while his best friend hand-feeds his kid, who still sits in his lap regardless of where they are. Pre-PC might purposefully burn Eden’s food.

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 6

SIX - GHOST

Trigger warning: Alcohol, food, mention of sex (nothing graphic and no actual smut)

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

"You held hands?"

"Mmh."

"And then you cuddled."

"We didn't cuddle, I was just kind of - leaning into him. Sort of."

"So you cuddled!"

"Sure. If that's what you wanna call it. We cuddled."

"Then what?" Robin inquires. Smirking at (Y/N) over the rim of her wine glass, like a giddy pre-teen waiting for the kissing scene to come up in a romance movie.

"And nothing. That's it."

"Oh come oooon. You cozied up to each other and then just what - acted like it never happened?"

"Essentially. But that's okay. It's not a big deal. And don't say it like that."

"Like what?" Robin continues to poke and by this point, it's not so much her wanting information than her trying to rile up (Y/N). Though she's very well aware of this, (Y/N) falls for it anyway.

"Cozied up to each other," (Y/N) says and scrunches her nose up in distaste. "Like we had dirty sex or something."

"Do you want to have dirty sex with him? Oh man, imagine what that arm can do."

Holding her hand out to stop her best friend from talking, (Y/N) takes a big gulp of white wine, emptying her glass. This is a conversation that can't be held entirely sober. "First of all, don't say those things about his arm. It's- I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me."

"Sorry yeah that was … not cool" Robin apologizes and by the tone of her voice (Y/N) can tell she means it.

"I'm the first to admit that Bucky is insanely handsome and if things were different, sure. But we're friends and I really enjoy the time spent together and our friendship. I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize it or ruin it by adding unnecessary feelings to it."

"Feelings aren't unnecessary," Robin replies, combing her fingers through her fiery red curls.

"Sometimes they are. The last thing Bucky and I need is broken hearts and ruined friendships."

"What if it doesn't end that way?"

"Relationships never work out well for me, you know that."

Robin places her glass on the countertop. It means whatever talk is gonna follow, it'll be a serious one. There's been very little need for a serious talk between the girls over the time they've been friends but neither of them has ever been afraid to start those conversations and say things as they are. Sometimes that's what friendship is, being blunt even if it's not what your friend wants to hear.

"Look I'm not saying you have to take the relationship to another level. If this is making you happy the way it is, then that's all that matters to me. I just don't want you to give up on something that could be great, because you're scared and because some stupid assholes in the past didn't realize what they had in you."

Where she's only had shit luck with relationships, (Y/N) thinks she's really lucked out in the friend department. Robin is as wonderful as they come. Even if she drives her crazy sometimes.

"They weren't all assholes." (Y/N) chimes up weakly though there's not even enough determination in her voice to convince herself.

"Weren't they? Let's see ...I'm not even gonna talk about Russel. He doesn't count. Who else was there? Pete liked to show you off but he didn't like you. Did he?"

"Not really."

"See? Asshole! Kylie only wanted to be with you so she could be the cool girl who's fucked another girl once and use that as something to brag to the guys about."

"She was figuring herself out."

"She was straight, babe. She was using you and your sexuality as some kind of badge of honor so guys would think she's cool. She only wanted to make out with you at parties and when there were men around to ogle you. I’m the last person to blame anyone for trying to figure out who they are and who they like but that wasn’t the case here. She used you, and what does that make her?"

“ An asshole? “

“ An asshole!”

“ What about Ricky, he wasn’t an asshole! “ (Y/N) chimes in, filling her glass up once more.

“ Okay sure but he was your High School sweetheart and that rarely lasts. I’m not gonna count him. What about Mike —“

“— Okay, you’ve made your point. I have a bad taste in romantic partners, I get it. Doesn’t change anything. Me and Bucky we’re — we’re good as we are. No romance needed.”

“ Just don’t want you to miss out on something great.”

It’s not that the thought has never crossed her mind. In fact, when she’s being really honest to herself, it swirls around her head a lot. When he grants her one of his smiles. The rare ones that make his eyes crinkle. Or when he comes to see her and brings dog treats for Lady, just because he’s that thoughtful. Or when she noticed he put a popcorn and a sun emoji next to her name in his phone. The popcorn, as he said because she liked movies and the sun because she’s always happy and smiling. Or when he held her hand throughout the entire movie. Those are moments when (Y/N) thinks about what it would be like to be more than friends.

“ It’s great as it is now. He’s great.”

“ Then that’s all that matters to me.” Robin smiles. She has one of those smiles that makes you feel at home. Comfortable and soft. Like warm milk with honey a mom makes their child when they can’t sleep.

It’s a while later, when (Y/N) strolls back into the room, another bottle of wine in hand, that a knock sounds on her front door. Her eyes wander to Robin then to the door then back. “I’m not expecting anyone.”

“ Oh, that’s Bucky.” Robin, who’s by now migrated over to (Y/N)’s huge fluffy couch, Lady cuddled onto her lap, says with the most casual of tones (Y/N) has ever heard. As if Bucky and her have been lifelong friends. As if there is nothing strange or peculiar about this situation.

“ How do you know?”

Robin shrugs and goes back to petting Lady’s curly fur. “ He texted you when you were getting the wine. Said he was around and had food. I told him to come join us for movie night. What’s the big deal? “

“ I uh — it’s not I just — you could’ve told me. “

“ That was literally 5 minutes ago babe. I had no time to tell you yet. By the way, this man uses entirely too many emojis.”

A smile pulls on the corners of (Y/N)’s lips. She’s asked him once why he never used any emojis, or smileys as he called them (all of them — even the ones that aren’t faces). He told her he didn’t really understand when to use most of them, like the shrimp or the Hockey stick. (Y/N) told him it’s because they’re fun. Ever since then he uses all kinds of emojis with her. None really relating to his messages. It’s quite endearing if she’s being honest.

“ Are you gonna let him in? “ Robin asks, shaking (Y/N) out of her thoughts.

The smell of Chinese food floods into the apartment as (Y/N) opens her door to Bucky. He looks so effortlessly cool in his leather jacket and boots. With his hair a little longer now, all swoopy and quiffed. Like the bad boy straight from a romance novel. The one with a heart of gold. The one that gets the girl.

(Y/N) is not that girl, the one from the novels, the Hallmark movies. The one that’s quirky but never weird. The one that makes all the boys fall for her. She’s not the main character, at least according to herself. She’s the side character that shows up like twice. The one that helps the main character on their quest to self-discovery or true love. That’s who she is. Not more, not less.

“ I brought food!” Bucky exclaims as he steps inside, waving the bag around before placing it on the kitchen counter, to which Lady jumps up from her position on Robin’s lap.

Lady, (Y/N) has realized a while ago, has somehow fallen head over paws in love with Bucky. Always following him, looking up at him with her big brown puppy eyes. Always looking to be close to him. Maybe, (Y/N) thinks, it’s the treats he always carries around. But maybe it’s Bucky too and his patience and his affection and the way he greets the little dog like she’s the main reason he’s come around.

Moments like this, they come with those little flutters around the heart. People always compare them to butterflies. (Y/N) thinks that’s wrong. Butterflies are gentle, graceful, and soft. This feels like a swarm of bees. Chaotic. Overwhelming. A little bit scary.

“ Man, did you plan on coming here, or did you buy all this for yourself?” Robin asks, eyes wide in surprise at the sheer amount of styrofoam containers Bucky keeps pulling from the bags.

“ I kind of bought it with the intention of sharing, yeah. “

Robin’s eyes meet (Y/N)’s across the room and there's a silent secret there, hidden in her teasing smirk. One shared only with a friend. No words. No sounds. Just the truth and two knowing hearts connecting.

“ Am I intruding? If you guys want me to leave, I can leave. “

While he tries to keep his voice casual, the sad tint doesn’t get lost on (Y/N).

“ Absolutely not, don’t be silly. We’re just drinking wine and watching a movie and you are free to join us in both.”

While he shakes his head at her offer of wine, Bucky helps (Y/N) bring the food over to the couch and plops down in the middle of the couch, Robin to his right and (Y/N) on his left.

“ What are we watching? “ he asks, a dumpling already on the way into his mouth.

“ Well, “ Robin responds filling her glass up once more, “ it was (Y/N)’s turn to chose so —”

“ A rom-com”

“ A rom-com. “

Something about seeing these two interact and joke around inspires a fuzzy feeling to wrap itself around (Y/N)’s heart. Even if they’re making fun of her.

The way Bucky fits in here, as if it’s where he’s always belonged. The way he’s not a stranger imposing but a friend added to the mix. It’s a nice feeling. She hopes he feels it too.

“ Okay, whatever. This isn’t your usual rom-com though, there are ghosts in this one. “

“ Is it ghosts falling in love?” Robin asks and lets her laugh get swallowed by her wine glass.

“ No. Well — uh kinda but not really. They fall in love be — you know what, just start the damn movie! “

There’s an undeniable intimacy in watching your favorite movies with other people. It’s like giving away little pieces of yourself and sharing them with others. No matter how insignificant it may seem to anyone else but you. These are the things that make us who we are. Our passions. For art. For music. For books. For movies. And opening up is always scary. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit.

Through the corner of her eye (Y/N) glances at Bucky and Robin, trying to judge their reactions. See if they’re enjoying themselves or not. Bucky displays his ever-present scowl. It’s the default setting. Sometimes she wonders if that has always been the case. If that's just what he looks like or if years of abuse, horror, pain have left their marks on him, on not only his heart but also his face.

Maybe this can be his safe place, she thinks. Maybe she can be. Not someone to fix him, because he’s not broken, just lost. Not to fix but to hold his hand while he heals. Slowly but surely.

For a while, the three sit in comfortable silence. The kind that fills you with this inexplicable calm. Where no words are needed.

And then the beginning chords of unchained melody spill from the tv speakers. It’s a touch there, a kiss here, hands covered in clay. Bodies covered in clay. Gasps and heavy breathing. Hands grasping skin, wandering, loving.

Robin’s presence falls completely to the back of (Y/N)’s mind. Bucky’s however...

“Do you want to have dirty sex with him? “ her friend's words ghost through her head like a particularly annoying jingle for some tv ad. The room feels warm all of a sudden. Not warm — boiling. There’s a heat radiating from her right, from Bucky. So what if he’s attractive. So what if she sometimes lets her mind wander and think about how his hands would feel on her skin or his lips on hers or his — yeah okay you get the point. So what?

Bucky slumps down into the couch a little more with every second of steamy pottery sex that’s fluttering across the tv screen. Is he — nervous? Uncomfortable ? No, she must be imagining it. Projecting, that’s what this is. She’s projecting her own chaotic emotional state onto him. There’s nothing there. (Y/N) has to remind herself. Just secret little thoughts that have to be kept between her and her. As long as no one knows, no one gets hurt. It’s the easy way out. The safe way. The right way.

Right?

“ Sooo, what did you guys think?” (Y/N) asks, turning her body towards her friends and sitting criss-cross on the couch.

“ Didn’t expect all the murder. “ Bucky replies as he takes a sip from his beer. “ And the — “

“ The messy sex! I know.” a visibly intoxicated Robin cuts in.

“ Not where I was going but okay.”

She doesn’t pay his words any attention, instead of launching herself backwards over the arm of the couch, dramatically fanning herself with her perfectly manicured hand. “ I am not going to lie, oh boy that was some hot stuff. Wouldn’t say no to that.”

“Oh please,” (Y/N) chimes in, wine glass clutched in hand and smile on her face. She can clearly feel the alcohol washing through her system bringing her to the place between sober and drunk where everything feels light and your confidence seems to get a little extra boost. “ What do you have to complain about? You’re getting married in two weeks! I’m sure you get enough action as it is. “

Robin doesn’t answer right away, just throws (Y/N) a giddy, boozed-up smile. Though in her eyes, there’s a loved-up glimmer of someone about to marry the love of their life.

“ Yeah, that’s true.”

“See, so you’re not the one that should be complaining. Us, however…”

Her red curls swing around her like a spark of fire as Robin sits up again, pointing her finger at (Y/N).

“ And whose fault is that? You could be getting some if you didn’t get so lost in your romantic fantasies. And him — “ the red-haired girl exclaims before pointing her finger towards Bucky “ don’t even tell me he ain’t getting some. Look at him! Are you sexually active, Bucky? “

“ You don’t have to answer that. Robin, come on.”

“ No, you don’t have to but you should. I’m trying to prove a point. Help me prove a point, Bucky. “

“ You’re making him uncomfortable. “

“ Am I making him uncomfortable or you? “

“ Ooookay, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. “

“ Nooo, we’re having a conversation. “

“ Would you look at that, my drink is empty. I’m just gonna — I’m gonna get another one. Okay? Okay.”

Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before getting up and rushing out of the living room and into the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable. Clearly embarrassed.

“ See what you did? You scared him off. “

“ I couldn’t scare that man off if I tried. Trust me. “ Robin murmurs, a loud yawn cutting through her argument. There’s a certain determination in her words though. Some truth hidden in there that (Y/N) can’t quite put her finger on. It’s like Robin knows something she doesn’t. And maybe it’s good this way. Maybe she doesn’t need to know.

“ Alright, whatever that’s supposed to mean, Tipsy. I’ll go see what he’s up to. You go the fuck to sleep.”

“ Whatever mom, “ Robin bickers and cuddles closer into the soft couch anyway. “ Oh, don’t forget to invite him! I like him. We’re friends now. “

“ Go to sleep! “ (Y/N) orders again, earning herself a salute from her best friend who starts snoring no more than 2 seconds later.

He feels like a 13-year-old. Actually — no. Things were easier at 13. Situations like this one were easier at 13. Being horny was easier at 13.

It was all new to him then, yes, but it was new for everyone at 13. He’s 106 now, a grown man. He should be able to talk or at least think about these things without turning into a full-blown mess. His hand is clammy, his face is probably the same shade of bright red as Robin’s hair. And by god, his thoughts are a jumbled mess, swirling around all over the place.

Truth be told, he hasn’t had a lot of time to actually think about anything even remotely physical. It was never very high on his list of things to figure out and the opportunity hasn’t really presented itself to him either. Not since the 1940s at least.

Have things changed? Surely not, right? Maybe people got a bit more experimental and for sure they talk more openly about it now but the fundamentals must have stayed the same. He sure hopes so at least.

His thoughts get interrupted as (Y/N) steps into the kitchen. Her eyes are slightly glassed over from the wine though she’s nowhere near as drunk as Robin. She seems happy, then again she always does. For a little moment, he feels jealousy wash over him. About being able to get drunk. It’s damn stupid, he’s well aware. But that doesn’t make his feelings less valid. To just drink and let go and forget, that sounds really nice.

But that’s just one of the things the serum has taken from him. By far not the worst aspect of it all but unpleasant either way.

“ Hey uh — you okay? “ she asks leaning against the kitchen island across from him.

“ Sure. Are you? “

“ I uh — might be a little drunk, “ (Y/N) confesses as she lifts her hand and indicates a tiny space with her fingers.

“ Yeah, I think you might be.” Bucky laughs. Actually laughing comes naturally when she’s around and quite honestly, at first, it made him feel guilty. Guilty about the fact that he got to laugh along with a pretty girl while so many people had to die through his hands.

He tries to push those thoughts away. They aren’t doing anyone any good. Not him and not those people either.

“ Hey, I’m sorry she was making you uncomfortable. She gets — well she has no filter when drunk. Or ever really.”

Bucky shakes his head. His finger nervously trails along the grain of the stone countertop. There are conversations he needs to have, sooner or later, if he wants to live his life. Not just coast along but actually live. But it doesn’t mean those come easy. Not for someone who’s been through all he’s been through. Not for someone who’s grown up the way he has, who’s been raised the way he has.

“ Ah, no. Don’t worry. I uh — I just. It’s been a long time since I had talks like this. “

“ Like what? “

“ Between friends, you know. About — stuff. “

“ About sex? “

“ Mmh. “

“ You don’t have to talk about it with us if you don’t want to. It’s fine. “

“ No, but I do want to talk about sex with you. I mean — not you, you. You both. But not in a weird way. I mean — with friends. “

“ Okay. “

“ It’s just that I was raised in different times and the last time I had a real actual friend that I talked to about intimate things was so long ago. Steve and I talked about everything and even then there used to be reservations. One because I don’t think Steve really wanted details and two because Steve wasn’t — he didn’t have the most experience when it came to women so it was a very one-sided conversation. And I’ve never talked about any of this with a girl. It’s all new to me but I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. “

(Y/N) regards him with a glimmer of amusement and mischief in her eyes as she munches away on some cold leftover spring rolls.

“ You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Buck. I know you trust me, I hope you know I trust you. “

He does. And he doesn’t hate how it sounds when she calls him Buck.

“ So, Robin and Charlie are getting married in two weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to be my plus one. Back when they announced it I was under the impression Russel and I would be a thing by then but uh — clearly that didn’t happen. It’s in upstate New York. We’re all gonna stay at this gorgeous Inn and well there’s a spot open if you want it.”

“ As a plus one? “

No matter how much he wants to deny it to himself, his heart does a little flutter as she says those words. A plus one sounds like something. He’s not sure what but something, surely.

“ Yeah, as a friend, obviously. “

“ Obviously. “

There goes the flutter.

“ Robin is okay with it by the way. She explicitly told me to ask you.”

“ So Robin wants me there, not you. “

“ No! I want you there! I love spending time with you. Also, Robin’s family is crazy. I need you by my side. I need you there. I want you there. “

“The need to be needed is an individual’s sense of significance rooted in the sense of being part of a community or cause beyond themselves. The need to be needed is one of our fundamental desires. We want to feel significant in the eyes of others, even if it is only one other person. “

Bucky has read those words in one of the many magazines stacked on the little side table in the waiting room of Dr. Raynor's office. They didn’t really make much sense to him then. He always thought he’d be fine by himself.

In that moment he realizes that was all a big pile of absolute bullshit.

The feeling of being wanted, of being needed, even if it’s just one person that needs him, that means everything.

“ Okay, I’ll come. “

“ Yeah? “

And there it is again, the smile that reminds him of the sun. The smile that he’s sure could bring a thousand men to their knees, including himself.

“ Cool. I’m — I’m really happy about that. “

“ Mmh. Me too. “

For a moment they just look at each other, words unspoken swirling in the air between them, neither brave enough to let them slip from their tongue.

It’s not until a particularly loud snore coming from the living room pops the bubble and breaks the spell.

Both of them fall into giggles before Bucky speaks up again.

“ It's late I should probably go. “

“ Yeah and I should go to bed. I’ll have a hangover tomorrow for sure.”

Bucky slips into his leather jacket and places a soft kiss goodbye on Lady’s head before turning back to (Y/N).

“ For the record, I’m not getting any. “

“ I uh — okay. Good. Well not good, “ (Y/N) stumbles over her words “ not good for you. Good for me. I mean. Not that I don’t want you to have sex. But I mean, Robin was taking the piss, and if I don’t get laid it makes me feel better to know you aren’t either. Oh god, this sounds horrible. I’m just gonna stop talking now. “

Bucky smiles the brightest smile she’s ever seen him smile, it almost breaks his face in two. And even though she wants the ground to swallow her whole right then, if it puts a smile like that on his face, she’ll gratefully embarrass herself again.

“ Have a good night, (Y/N). “

“ You too, Bucky”

And with a kiss to her head, he leaves the flat, a smile staying on his lips the entire way home.

“ Why did I have to come again? This is a bachelorette party, I thought men aren’t allowed. “ Bucky grumbles as (Y/N) parks her truck in the parking lot of the convenience store. The pink and blue neon lights reflect on the wet asphalt.

“ It’s a shared party. We’re all friends so it makes sense for the couple to celebrate together. Stop moaning. “ (Y/N) exclaims as her heels create a click-clack sound.

The store is empty as they enter except for the bored-looking teenager leaning against the counter by the cash register.

There’s something about empty stores at night that makes it feel like time stands still. Like for a moment, reality is altered. There’s only you and the outdated music coming from the speakers and the hum of the refrigerators holding the soda cans.

“ I can’t believe Hannah forgot to bake the cake. It’s all she had to do. I did everything else, everything. She had one job. “

Bucky’s learned by now to just let her rant about this topic. It’s all she’s talked about for the last hours since Hannah, public enemy number one that day, has called her to inform her she’s forgotten about the cake. Why there needs to be a cake at this party, Bucky doesn’t know but hey, who is he to question it.

(Y/N) walks straight over to the counter that holds the bakery items only to be met with disappointment.

“ Well great. We can choose between one single cupcake, a box of stale donuts, and a croissant. “

“ What about this one? “ Bucky asks and points towards a bright pink cake decorated with candy roses and white icing.

“ It says Happy Birthday. “

“ Ah, don’t worry we can fix that.”

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows in doubt. “ You sure? “

“ 100%. Trust me. “

She regards him for a moment, uncertainty shining through, before granting him a little smile and a nod. “ Okay then. You get the cake, I’ll be over there for a second. “

Looking through the fridges, (Y/N)’s eyes fall onto a pack of popsicles in the shape of Captain America’s shield.

Ripping open the fridge door she calls out “ Hey Grumpy, would you like thes— “

All she hears is a smack and then Bucky’s voice exclaiming a loud “Fuck!”

And in that moment she doesn’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that she just slammed the door right into his face or hearing him swear.

“ Are you okay? I’m so sorry. “

“ I’ll be fine.”

“ We gotta put ice on it. “

“ No (Y/N) I — “

She’s already on her way to get a pack of frozen peas. And if Bucky is being real honest, his cheek does hurt quite a bit. Super Soldier Serum and all …

“ I am genuinely so sorry. “

Bucky sits on the bed of (Y/N)’s truck, frozen peas pressed to his face and a chuckle falling from his lips as (Y/N) sends yet another apology his way.

“ It’s okay, (Y/N). I told you, I’m fine. “

He pulls the peas away from his face and places them next to him, before picking up the cake and lifting the plastic lid off of the container.

“ Alright, let’s see if I can fix this. “

“ You have a bruise on your cheek. “

Bucky looks up at her with those gorgeous blue eyes of his, that (Y/N) sometimes finds herself drowning in. Calm and story all at once. Like oceans.

“ Does it make me look rough and handsome? “

“ You’re always handsome. But yes, it gives you a roguish charm. “

“ Good. “

(Y/N) feels a heat rush to her face as Bucky focuses back on the cake.

“ Mmmkay. Let me see. What if we — “ Bucky murmurs, more to himself than to (Y/N). He swipes his finger, sans glove, over the white icing letters and while there’s a good intention there, when he lifts his finger back up the cake looks like a downright mess.

“ Ta-da “ he exclaims and turns the cake towards her.

“ It says Happy day now “

“ Is it not a happy day? “ Bucky asks, eyebrows raised in question.

“ Let me rephrase that. It says ‘Happy messy white stain Day’ “

Bucky pulls his lips into a grimace, eyes wandering from (Y/N) down to the cake and back to her. “ Yeah, we can’t bring that “.

Laughter fills the air as they regard the sad mess of a cake before them. If this was a movie, (Y/N) thinks, this would be their moment. The one where they realize. The one that feels like time stops and all that matters is them.

Something wet and sticky against her cheek pulls her from her daydream.

“ What the hell? “

Bucky only grins at her. There’s the boyish charm again. It’s so insanely endearing to see these little moments flare up and push through the perpetual gloom he seems to carry with him. He doesn't hold the weight of 90 years of fighting on his shoulders right then.

“ Oh you didn’t “

Before Bucky can react she grabs a handful of the cake and smashes it against the uninjured side of his face.

“ Is that how you wanna play it? Okay. Fine. “

Cake flies through the air as their laughter rings through the night. Not a thought wasted on pain, on worries, on heartbreak.

The rooftop bar (Y/N) booked specifically for this night is covered in fairy lights and glitter decor. There’s a karaoke machine in one corner and an open bar in the other.

A loud cheer sounds from the crowd as Robin steps out into the open, fingers intertwined with those of a petite brunette with big square glasses sitting on her nose.

They get swallowed by a tidal wave of people, pulled from one hug into another, and while his eyes stay with them, Bucky feels a touch against his metal arm. (Y/N) wraps herself around him leans her head against his shoulder and stares lovingly at the couple before them.

“ I’m so glad she’s happy. I love her so much. “

“ She loves you too. “ he says.

And really how could anyone not?

A little while later, when the crowd has allowed them to breathe again, Robin and the brunette wander towards Bucky and (Y/N), matching smiles on their faces.

“ Buck, this is Charlie, Robin’s fiancee. Charlie, this is my friend Bucky. “

“ It’s so nice to meet you,” Charlie exclaims, a strong English accent dripping from her words. “ What in the world happened to your face? Are you okay? “

While Bucky smirks, (Y/N) flinches at those words and shrinks into herself a little.

“ Oh you know, funny story. Someone here was a little too excited about some red white and blue popsicles. “

Robin lets out a loud laugh “ Now that sounds like someone I know very well. “

“ They were shaped like Cap’s shield, okay. I thought it was funny and fitting. “

Charlie’s eyes move between the 3, a look of confusion settling on her features.

“ Why fitting? “

“ Oh babe, let me catch you up,” Robin says and steers Charlie in the direction of the bar.

The night flies by and for the first time in so long, Bucky doesn’t feel out of place. Not for a single moment. Even being surrounded by people he doesn’t know and while listening to music he doesn’t get. It’s nice, feeling like you belong.

Robin and Charlie have just finished their karaoke rendition of Don’t Stop Believing when a familiar voice echoes from the speakers.

“ Hello guys, my name is (Y/N). You may know me, I’m the maid of honor. I am responsible for this party — you’re welcome. Anyway, I guess it’s my turn to sing tonight but I can’t do this one alone. I’m gonna require my friend, Mr. James Buchanan Barnes up on this very stage with me. “

Oh no. Definitely no. Not in a million years. No w—

“ Because this one’s a duett. “

Her eyes meet his across the way, shining with amusement, mischief, affection. Even across the dimly lit roof, her sunshine smile seems to light up the entire night.

“ I’m not doing it, “ Bucky says and shakes his head as Robin slides up to his side.

“ C’moooon. “

“ Nope. I probably don’t even know the song. “

It’s like the universe wants to make a fool of him as in just that moment Bill Medley’s voice sounds through the night.

“ I know you know this song. “ Robin says and nudges his side “ come on don’t make her do this by herself. “

“ I — “ he looks at (Y/N) again, with her sunshine smile and those expressive eyes and the buttercream stain on her shirt. And he doesn’t see fear or pain or regret. All he ever sees when he looks at her is happiness and fun and laughter.

“ Ugh. Okay. Alright. “

Cheers follow him as he steps on stage and (Y/N) hands him the second mic. Though it’s supposed to be a duett, (Y/N) doesn’t really care and sings both parts with unfiltered joy and unapologetic passion. And while it takes a moment for him to warm up to it, Bucky can’t help but let her enthusiasm light a spark in him too and by the time the pre-chorus hits he joins her in singing their hearts out.

“ You're the one thing I can't get enough of. So I'll tell you something. This could be looooooove “

New York comes alive with the promise of a better tomorrow. One where Bucky feels like he belongs. To a place or a group of friends or a person. A tomorrow where he can laugh with a pretty girl, have food fights in a parking lot, and sing some silly song at the top of his lungs.

Maybe the song isn’t all wrong. Maybe he’s having the time of his life. And maybe, just maybe, he owes it to (Y/N).

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

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[olderthannetfic]

“she never once mentioned my looks either positively or negatively. (I asked her about the latter, and she said it’s something she’d decided on before having me.)”

I’m a little uncertain about the implication of this. It comes off to me that your mom had an atypical amount of power over your appearance?

“If you want to raise a strong person, you give a kid unconditional love, clear boundaries, and a sense of stability.”

Realistically, what is the limit to this? When you say “unconditional love” do you mean it like a practice that is particularly relevant to a kid’s formative years in order to build a solid emotional foundation for them? Or does that practice extend into the future?

I mean, I think most parents experience a base “love” connection to their child in an instinctive way that they can’t control. It could probably be destroyed if they really tried, but it’s difficult.

And on top of that, there’s also a more surface-level love that is more easily observed, and it’s something that the parent has conscious control over. This surface-level love is more prevalent and it’s the kind of thing that’s easier to treat as conditional.

So, what does a parent do with their personal philosophy if the child becomes something that they are genuinely ashamed of? Like, what if the kid has an untreatable disorder that makes them go around killing animals and torturing other kids? What if the kid becomes a pre-teen and shoots up a school?

Wouldn’t that force some kind of revision to this self-imposed obligation to unconditional love?

Also, how do you define stability? Would that be consistency in the home? Wouldn’t raising a child with ideals that contradict the version of reality that’s favored by wealthier and more powerful groups cause a sense of instability?

--

Uh. Anon, I'm honestly not sure what part of "She didn't mention it" was unclear. She did not say words about my physical appearance.

Kinda seems like you're projecting and looking for ways to misread some pretty basic words of English.

--

My mother might say "You need to wear something fancier for this occasion", but she did not call me pretty or ugly or comment on my body. This was because she had observed how much people talking about their kids' physical looks fucks the kids up regardless of whether it's positive or negative commentary. If you want to train your kid not to value themself and others based on looks, then don't talk about looks.

It came up because a (deeply fucked up) friend was horrified that my mother didn't tell me I was pretty.

--

I was indeed talking about a kid's formative years. But also, unconditional love does not mean never being mad at someone over their behavior. It's more about treating them as a valid person just because they are a person and not tying that to any particular hoop they need to jump through.

One of the more important parts in demonstrating said love is acting interested in what your kid thinks and feels: letting them know you're around if they want to talk, answering questions even if they're embarrassing or hard to answer, etc. This doesn't just go for asking heavy questions either: my mother made time to hang out with me and was genuinely interested in my intellectual thoughts and what I had to say about books I was reading or something I'd read in school or whatever. She didn't need to tell me she valued me because she showed it. And she actually had some clue who I was as a person because she made the time to listen. She was highly verbal, like me. I suppose if you're much less verbal people, then doing a hobby together would somewhat take the place of talking like this, though I still think it's important to actually say in words what you think and feel because that's the best way to understand the inside of someone else's head. But either way, making time for someone is the most important part.

Love does not mean tolerance of bad behavior. If your kid is dangerous, you get them help, and you tell them you still love them but you don't want them to hurt people. You tell them it's not a punishment. They may not believe you, of course, but one can't control everything in life.

Love is about valuing them as a person. It's not about blindly saying "yes" to everything they think, say, or do.

--

Stability is about having a home and household that is more or less organized and that has fairly stable routines as opposed to one that's always in a state of chaos. Kids like to know when you'll be home, that they're going to get dinner tonight, whether you'll be having randos over to the house, what you expect of them and what the rules are, etc. If you're taking them on a trip or if you have to move, you at least communicate that clearly ahead of time. Springing sudden surprises on kids tends to make them feel uncertain. They like to know where they stand.

It has nothing to do with ideals or whether your philosophy matches the dominant culture's.

[reading-hub]

Dandy And The Jet 🚀 [3] To Boobies, Baby!

- Space Dandy x reader -

[part 2]

- - - - -

The digital transmission hidden underneath your jacket that was made by Bea so it was easy to update on the mission with Admiral Perry. You were explaining the events that were leading up to today, from that one-sided crazy bar fight, being able to escape said bar fight, having the opportunity to escape with Dandy's crew inside the "Aloha Oe" to now.

“So, you’ve already made your way to his inner circle?”

You hid within the hallways, luckily nobody hadn't woken up yet. Although that little wheeled robot named QT had this obsession with cleaning early, so your not exactly in the clearing yet...

"Yes, I have. His crew was surprisingly welcoming despite them being alien hunters.." You responded, remembering your last experience with some alien hunters in the past...

"I don't care about them! What about the target, how's is he taking in your presence? Has he suspected anything about you since your arrival?" Admiral was obviously cautious about you being found out in a short time. You rolled your eyes slightly.

You sighed and answered. "Well, he was questioning my position when I took the wheel, but nothing really about me.” Admiral sighed in relief, guess that's good news?

"Very well, just keep pursuing on the target at all times, don't let him slip through your fingers. We're so close yet so far." The burning skeleton commanded. "I will, sir." You agreed, transmission ended.

"Hello miss [f/n]!" You jumped slightly, turning around to see the little robot QT and his broom. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Did I startle you?" QT said in a worried tone. The robot really was the sweetest.

"Don't worry, er, I was just looking around the ship..." You smiled looking at the inter-galactic gears and such.

Now that I mentioned it, this ship is pretty huge, this must've cost a fortune, maybe Dandy is a successful alien hunter after all if he was able to afford such a ship and all...

You shrugged it off and looked at QT. "So uh, you clean up around the ship when everybody's asleep?" You asked, continuing the conversation with the little robot.

"I clean up anyway, even if everyone's awake or not." Saying in their autotuned voice, which is a bit adorable. "I really like cleaning," QT said simply.

"That's one hell of a favorite thing to do. I rarely ever hear someone say that sentence, ever." You chuckled a little. "So anyway, what exactly is the schedule around here?" You asked, changing the subject.

"Schedule?" QT said confused. "Oooh!" The male robots autotune sang in harmony. "To be quite honest, there really isn't one." They shrugged, your eyes quirked a little in surprise and confusion. "The only real mundane place that Dandy likes to go to most of the time is a place called Boobies," QT answered.

"Boobies?" Your whole facade went full-on confusion with what the innocent robot said so casually. "Yeah, it's this restaurant that Dandy really likes going to a lot but the paycheck is more than what we normally have so its tough for Dandy to accept when we don't have enough to go." The robot explained.

Huffing a little in response, "Judging by the name of this restaurant, I can tell why Dandy would like going there." Both QT and You laughed right after.

"Geez, you giggling pre-teens woke me up." Looks like your quality conversation with QT is over thanks to a grumpy pompadour. Speaking of pompadour, Dandy was hiding his hair using his blanket that he dragged along the floor without a care.

"Now if you excuse me, girlies, I gotta take a shower. This hair ain't gonna fix itself!" Dandy boasted proudly as if you were gonna swoon over him right when he gets out.

"We should probably check and see if Meow is awake, though I highly doubt it," QT grumbled as we walked to the main room of the ship. "How long does it usually take for everyone to be awake by?" You asked jokingly. "I'd say around 02:00 in standard time," QT answered quickly, looking at his watch that miraculously appears out of nowhere!

"It's nine-forty." You questioned immediately. “How long does it take for Dandy to finish up in there?" The robot rolled his screen eyes thinking of Dandy's precious timing.

"I'd say two hours, one if today's a lucky day." QT hoped.

"Dang." Was all you could say to that. The guys that you use to know hated when a woman took too long getting ready and didn't really care for their hair products. Needless to say, this Dandy guy was something else and nobody you’ve met before.

-

After talking with QT for two hours or so, you both sat at the dining table, if you call it that. You can easily tell by the crew that they didn't seem the type to eat breakfast together in a table.

QT was nice enough to make you a single cup of coffee. Luckily he was able to find some coffee beans after looking up and down in the cabinets. Wasn't a lot but you could manage either way. You wondered if he was able to have any human-like food?

You both shared a few things, like past stories. QT shared a lot about the past adventures him and Dandy have been through. A booby monster, plant people, and said something about zombies but I kinda lost track since all them were just bat-shit crazy all on their own.

You on the other hand only shared ones that were pretty tame when compared to theirs. Warning the robot that your adventures aren't really exciting to tell compared to what they told.

QT seemed interested with what you told him anyway, but you also didn’t want to overshare too much.

"What are you guys talking about?" The yawning came from Meow who was shuffling his feet, he must be still tired even though he's slept longer than the rest of us combined.

"[F/n] has been telling me about her adventures.” The robot said with glee, you couldn't help but smile in embarrassment when QT showed some exciting interest in your stories. "Whoa really?" Meow was obviously interested. All you could do was shrug in embarrassment.

It has been a while since people actually listen to what I had to say...

Meow just asked upon millions of questions each time you telling more and more details of the time you able to hold your own against the likes of humanoid monsters and crazy ex’s throughout the galaxy.

"Does that mean you know some close combat?" QT asked politely. "Yeah, and a bit of gun firing as well," You replied.

"So are you like some kind of superhero?" Meow smiled and pulled out his phone. “I'm not even close to a superhero."

True, you really weren’t . You were basically the big, bad, villain's accomplice, you know the ones where they trick the good guys into thinking that she's one of them now and then double-crosses them saying how "I am not who you think I am!" And then they laugh evilly.

The sad truth is that I don't think I can laugh evil.

"Is Dandy out of the shower yet? I really need to use the restroom." You said, obviously frustrated. QT grumbled, "Eh, probably putting his hair gel right about now..." You didn’t care, You just stood up and just tell Dandy to step out real quick so that you can go!

Storming off back to the hallway where you had that transmission call with Admiral and then that talk to QT later on.

Stopping your tracks, you noticed that the bathroom door had a small crack open. You could only guess Dandy got out and is probably changing back in his room? You hoped, otherwise he's gonna think you’re peeping on him, which he'll probably find flattering, you however were not intending on that.

Slowly walking towards the steamthat was seeping through the cracked door, Lights full white, You were hoping he forgot to turn off when he left...shit!

Peering through and - goddammit! - he's there! Oh well, at least he has a towel on, even if that towel is low cut and will probably fall off easily...fuck!

He was drying up his hair with another towel. The towel was off from his head, and you got a clear view of his shaggy natural hair!

Your eyes went full surprised. He really wasn't that bad looking without the hair gel, You certainly didn’t understand why he has to hide it...

Oh well.

You felt as though you were peeping a little too long.. you just booked it outta there! Maybe you should hold your bladder until he actually leaves the bathroom next time...

-

Sprinting back to the lounge, you know what you’ll just call it that since you refuse to call it a "dining room" or a "kitchen".

Meow and QT were still hanging around where you last talked to them. "That was quick," Meow said in surprise. You took a few breaths and replied, "Yeah, turns out I didn't really need to go." You said in relief.

A few minutes later, a wild Dandy appears behind you! "You're finally out of the shower?" You said in a bored tone. "You know if you wanted to take a shower with me, you could've asked?" He suggested slyly. Sadly, he had his pompadour back, kinda wishing to see his hair down. QT decided to change the subject.

"Nevermind that, where are we going, Dandy?"

Dandy's attention was at the robot. "To boobies, baby!" He boasted proudly. "Boobies, you mean that ‘breastaurant’ that QT was telling me about?" I jumped in with air quotes.

Dandy's face freaked a little. "QT, YOU TOLD HER ABOUT BOOBIES!?"

"Don't pin it on them, since I agreed to be apart of this crew, I was probably gonna find out anyway, no use of hiding it.." You said in defense. "She's got ya there, man.” Meow commented on the sideline.

All Dandy could do was have his lips curl, pouting like a child because you had a point.

"Alright, just don't take the fun out of Boobies for me, ok?" Dandy whined slightly at me. You shrugged it off, "Don't plan on it."

"Hey QT, how much we got for Boobies?" He called out to the robot. "Hm, probably enough. But Dandy, I thought we were going to spend this money for--" QT was cut from his words by Dandy.

"Nevermind that QT, we could always just hunt for a rare alien and get double the money back!"

Something tells me that this is just gonna be one those days...you know, the ones where shit gets fucked and it could've been avoided by just listening and following the obvious from earlier.

Yeah...those...

The four of you have arrived at Boobies. You really didn’t have an expectation of what this breastrant would look like, but seeing it right in front of your very eyes, it hit the nail on head.

You weren’t one to judge. We all have our guilty pleasures in life. Some like eating a bag of chips on a slow day, some like the smell of a certain candle that keeps them at ease, and some like a ditzy waitress who dresses little to the imagination to take their order while also small talk to on a daily basis.

You took a seat between QT and Meow, Dandy sat across from you. Small tension was between you and Dandy for a full two minutes. Dandy obviously not a fan of you being at Boobies with them. You couldn’t care less what he thought about you at that time, you just wanted to eat something, pay half of the check, possibly tip the waitress, and go back to the ship.

Before it can be anymore silent—

“Hey boys, how are we doing today?” You looked up, only to see a young blonde waitress, eyes looked as if full of innocence. She was quite pretty, you admit to yourself. “Oh my, I’m sorry, and how you today, miss?” Her wide eyes immediately directed towards you. Her tone was that of surprise and joy. Possibly because of how rare it is to have female customers here, you guess.

“I’m okay, thank you though.” You replied, smiling faintly at the blonde. “Yeah, we’re good today, too.” Dandy said after, his palm holding his jaw in boredom. The blonde beamed happily. “Dandy, who is she? Is she a new friend of yours?” She egged him on. Obviously curious about who you were. You’d think that this waitress is close friends with Dandy, given how easily she’s able to hold a conversation with him.

“No Honey, me and crew met her yesterday.” He explained, smirking with confidence. “Although an initiation of the Space crew in the talks.” In talks? You could’ve sworn he agreed to you being apart of the crew the first day you two met. You looked at him sideways, just what is he trying to get at?

“An initiation? That must be so fun! When is it??” Honey looked at him with answers. Dandy slumped on the booth, smug as all hell. He’s gonna get punched so bad when we get back to the ship. “Actually, initiation starts today.” He boasted.

“It is?” Honey asked excited.

“It is?” You reiterated sarcastically, wondering where this was going.

“It is.” Dandy conceded.

Before Dandy could be anymore proud of himself of having you put in a tight situation, hook line and sinker...

“Since when did we propose for an initiation for future crew members?” QT popped up with a sudden question out of nowhere. “We didn’t have one for Meow now that I think about it...” the robot added, while Dandy’s eyes widen, nervously.

“It’s a new thing I made up!” Dandy interjected. “I forgot to tell you and Meow about..” he explained, hoping the damn robot keeps thier mouth shut. “Okaaay, what’s the first stage of initiation then?” QT asked after.

Meow looked up from his phone, seeing what was unfolding right in front of him.

Dandy could only grind his teeth, thinking of one on the top of his head and try not to look stupid. Than, a light switched on his head!

“[f/n], our lovely new recruit here has to pay for the check.” Douche. That was all that popped in your head soon after.

Well, I have space skeleton demi-god and a pimp gorilla looking over me like vultures, I’m being labeled as a last resort plan to capturing Dandy, and being apart of his crew is the only shot I can get to getting closer to finishing my mission. No pressure.

Ok Dandy, I’ll play along.

“Well, if it’s what I have to do, than so be it.” You agreed, getting a little too confident.

“Alright!” Dandy rubbed his hands together in anticipation. This was too fun for him.

The food orders were now final.

Dandy made it easier by just having you pay for the ‘Captain’s Meal’, aka Dandy and yourself. Meow just ordered for soup and a soda, QT just wanted some juice. You wondered if the robot could actually consume foods...

Your order was that of a space meat fillet that you thought looked good on the menu and your choice of two sides.

However, Dandy knew he had you by his finger and went all out. Two large chucks of meat, topped with chili, cheese, a ramen bowl, and a slushee that was most likely child size.

He looked as smug and pampered as they came at that moment. The food came in.

Meow’s and QT ‘s came first since their orders were small and simple. Your’s came second. Dandy’s was last, the meal was so huge that Honey needed another waitress to help her bring it to the table.

You rolled your eyes at how Dandy was making a big deal out of this.

-

Meow and QT were done with thier orders a long time ago. You just finished your own meal. Dandy on the other hand, still had halfway to go. I guess Dandy didn’t think though how big of an order his was compared to everyone else.

“You’re not gonna finish that.” Meow commented as he was scrolling his phone. He pouted his lip in response. “Nope, I’m not gonna give in to the temptation of losing.” Dandy replied, hiding away the worry.

“Losing what? I’m the one paying for your meal.” You said suddenly. “How about we just ask to box it for to-go.” You suggested. You honestly felt a little bad. He looked like a small boy who feels bad for not finishing his dinner. It was honestly kinda cute at this state.

Wait what?

“Fine!” He gave in, crossing his arms in the process. You perked up at the waitress who was walking past your table, and asked if they’re was a to-go box for a meal like Dandy’s.

Honey came in with the check, the total of Dandy’s meal itself was almost 300 yen, your own meal was around 30. Luckily, you secretly tapped Honey’s shoulder and gave the ditzy blonde a coupon for Boobies when Dandy wasn’t looking. You knew holding onto that coupon would benefit you one day.

The crew got their things together before heading out. Dandy begrudgingly holding onto his box that had his meal.

It was already midnight by the time you guys came out of the breastaurant. All of got into ship, one by one. All tired from eating. Seeing how exhausted you looked, Dandy took the liberty of stirring the ship with QT tonight. How nice.

Guess him being nice was just a thank you for putting up with him today at Boobies.

Before you could relax your eyes, Dandy shouted out:

“Whoops, forgot to get gas!” He nervously smiled through his teeth.

“ARGGHHH!!!” You, Meow, and QT loudly responded.

[eversoslinky]

Boobs... my love/ hate relationship with my body.

Here's an image of a beautiful Brunette, DD breasts bursting out her bra, teeny, tiny waist. She's every straight man's (and gay woman's) fantasy. She's flawlessly perfect and natural looking at the same time. This woman and many others like her the reason I struggle with my body everyday and why I hate my breasts.

Here's an image of a flat chested girl. (I had ALOT of trouble finding this image on the internet!... I typed in double A and triple A breasts and still got some gorgeous photos of glamour models... not quite what I'm looking for, I guess the word "breasts" goes hand in hand with "huge" on the search engine) Grown women can be small busted too and I'm never going to feed into the fantasies of disgusting perverts by posting images of pre teen girls in bikinis. At 30 I was just beginning to except who I am, I'm on antidepressants and have been for the past three years... as a result, my weight has fluctuated I've gained weight on my thighs, hips and midsection... my chest, however, that's stayed the same. I excepted it and in a weird way learnt to love my body... until I met someone who messed up my head and made me hate my figure.

I "used to" have a female friend with triple D boobs (a size I didn't know existed until I met her) She was very proud of her naturally big chest and rightly so but the problem with people who are blessed with what mother nature has given them is they seem to think they can shame people who have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. And that's not cool. Not cool at all. It's the same with men who gush over their favourite female celebrities and their "perfect" bodies. I've got something to tell you here that might upset you a little bit... those bodies are probably surgically enhanced! So don't you dare make a woman feel bad for wanting a boob job! It's frustrating and so god damn awful when your boyfriend or partner tells you he doesn't like big boobs and prefers your natural double A chest but then is watching videos of women with DDs. What you really mean to say is you like natural big boobs? Oh and a girl with a perfectly toned figure who never goes to the gym... I hate to break it to you but those "perfect" girls you love looking at.... their surgically enhanced and they probably work really hard at the gym and watch what their eating to stay looking that way... so sorry to burst your bubble right there...

Being a small busted girl has its plus points though, a few things I'll miss but hopefully they wont be an issue for me when I have my own (ten years in the making breast implant surgery in the new year) The biggest plus is probably that I really enjoy exercise and in particular getting on that bike in spin class and cycling my little heart out. I can lean forward to do push ups on the bike without any "pop outs" accuring (!) The thing I will probably miss most of all is the fact my boobs are my "ugly card." everyone has something which is deemed as "not very attractive" but is in reverse the greatest blessing to them cause it gets rid of shallow fuckers. I get alot of unwanted attention from men, I say this because I look alot younger than what I am and I'm slim, big blue eyes, full lips and high cheekbones. With makeup on I can look quite attractive but this often means that I can attract idiots, fuck boys, creeps and men who haven't read a book since high school and can't have a conversation with me. An guy on a dating site once said to me "I want a girl with blonde hair who wants children." I was moved to finally have met someone who wants a family like I do. I love kids so much. He ruined this by saying "she's got to have really big boobs too!" He kept going on about how I was his ideal woman and I shut him down by telling him I'm flat chested but I wish him all the very best looking for his "perfect" girl. Instead of the correct answer which would be "the size of your boobs doesn't matter to me, you're a nice person and I want to get to know you better." He responded with "A boob job will sort that out... then I'll marry you." Disgusting vile human being. I'll bet you any money, after I blocked him he was probably scratching his head as to why he offended me so much.

When I do get my implants done I'm getting them done for ME. NOT A MAN. ME. Without sounding big headed here: I've not had any trouble attracting a man. No one has ever been put off by my small chest. The type of man I want to attract won't care about the fact I'm tiny on top and got a big curvy backside to rival that of Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce. He'll love it. As for the girl who used to be my friend I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the one with perfect natural triple D breasts who shames women for wanting to enhance their bodies. She's single, she acts clingy and needy with men and "needs ALOT of attention" I'm so sorry but no matter how hot your body is but no man will put up with that. I think like a guy and I know I'd rather have someone who was independent, ambitious and had their own life going on. Someone who is funny, quick witted and might not return my calls cause their busy doing something fun that doesn't involve me. That's ok.

Last but certainly not least is the fact that people have told me throughout my life that in order to get bigger breasts I must "eat more calories" DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you this shit! It's irresponsible. Firstly not every woman is built the same, weight goes on different places on different bodies. I tried last year eating ice buns from a local bakery, pancakes coated in maple syrup and tea cakes... this was just my breakfast! Every meal had a pudding and everything was covered in salt, sugar and sweeteners. I did this for three months last summer until I realised I had no energy, my depression got a thousand times worse and I gained inches in all the places I didn't want them to go. The people who told me over the years to "put on weight" where nothing but jealous women who didn't like the fact I was trying to improve myself. If you are wanting to gain weight please see your doctor, nutritionist or personal trainer. They will advise you on a sensible safe approach to your healthy weight gain. DON'T eat ice buns for breakfast (like I did!) It won't make your breasts bigger, it will only make you gain weight round the middle.

[gonewiddershins]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 3 of 7)

18. your least favorite book ever

One of the effects of being a shameless DNF-er is how I don't really have least favorite books. Because they can't be my least fave if I drop them halfway through and go and happily read something else instead. Least favorite book (singular) ever is even worse- why on earth would I read a book I loathe that much? The only answer is "Buddy Reads" and even for that I have drawn lines I will Not Cross. And even if those lines were crossed, I feel uncomfortable rating that book as "the worst" because making me read something I don't like makes me very, very mad and that naturally spills over to my feelings about the actual book.

So I skimmed through Goodreads and randomly picked a book that made me mad enough that I remembered being mad to this day. This actually means the book had potential, because I tend to forget books which had no redeeming features whatsoever. But this is also the third draft of this answer so it's what you're getting. (There is actually book I dislike more than this one, but that's getting saved for the un-recommend question.)

Tangled by Emma Chase is an office romcom. And it would probably be pretty entertaining (my tastes they are so low) if (a) the author did not decide that swearing was an inherently funny action and used it to indicate idk- something positive about the male lead, (b) it weren't for the unquestioned gender essentialism - you know the thing, men are like this women are like that and god forbid anyone deviates even slightly from the norm, and (c) I didn't keep getting smacked in the face with constant workplace sexual harassment.

The harassment was bad enough to have my oblivious self feel mildly uncomfortable when I first read it. When I skimmed through it again to remember why I hated it so much it almost made me want to puke. If any guy thought about me the way the ML thought about the FL I would knee him in the balls. Also, I HATE it when romances end with a "grand gesture" that magically solves everything. Especially in this case. FL, you were so fucking bland that I don't remember a goddamned thing about you but you should have kneed him in the balls. For fuck's sake.

QUOTE: (slime. slime all over my face and my arms.)

Doe Eyes may be telling me no…but her body? Her body’s screaming, Yes, yes, fuck me on the bar. In the span of three minutes, she’s told me why she’s here, what she does for a living, and allowed me to fondle her hand. Those are not the actions of a woman who is not interested—those are the actions of a woman who does not want to be interested. And I can definitely work with that.

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

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3 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#4

1, 9 10 13 15 16 18 23 52 53 55 60 63 71 80 86 107 121 127 134 135 for ur ask meme

wheeeee~

okay so there's are enough of these questions that I'm gonna answer this in parts because otherwise (a) I'll never finish and (b) tumblr WILL end up earing my drafts and I wince just thinking about that. So here we go-

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Beginning by K.A. Applegate. Anyone who's spent some time on my tumblr knows about my obsession with this series. It drilled into my ear and took over all higher life form function way back when I was an impressionable pre-teen. And then after sometime, when I thought I'd found other things to obsess about, I found copies of the final arc and it decided to permanently take up residence in my brain.

The Beginning is the final installment of the Animorphs series, which famously feature kids turning into animals to fight brain stealing alien puppeteers. It's not a climax- it's a extended denouement, because the books have always been about how children people are affected by war as much as as it was about the actual war. Animorphs also ended on a very bittersweet note, something unthinkable to baby me who had never seen a story end this way before. It was a learning experience.

Quote:

"Jake, you can't . . ." She took a deep breath. "You can't equate the victim and the perpetrator."

"So as long as you're playing defense it's not possible to commit a war crime?" I asked. "That's pretty close to just saying that the winner makes the rules because it's the winner who writes the history."

She grabbed my arm and searched for my eyes, forcing me to look at her. "No, Jake, it isn't. There are a lot of close calls in history, lots of wars where the blame is evenly split between the sides. This isn't one of them. Before they came to Earth no human ever attacked a Yeerk. No human ever harmed a Yeerk. This one is clear: We are the victims. They made war on us."

"That's good," I said softly. "All of that is good. We have justification. We're the good guys."

Marco said, "That's right, Big Jake, we are."

I nodded. "That's good for the big picture. See, my problem is a little more personal."

Ax asked.

"Well, Ax-man, you're right, you did call my attention to the possibilities on the Pool ship. And when you did that I guess I should have thought, Well, Jake, it's a harsh, terrible thing to do, but you're justified because, after all, you're the victim here. But that's not what I thought. You know what I thought?"

Cassie released her grip on me. But Marco just took a step up close, right in my face.

"I know what you thought, Jake. You thought Die, you filthy worms. Feel the fear, Yeerks. Feel the pain. Feel the helplessness. You wanted them to suffer and the idea of them suffering and dying made you happy. You were thrilled. You were high."

Cassie winced. She looked away.

I said, "Yeah, Marco. That was about it: word for word."

9. your favourite book of 2020 2022

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3 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

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4 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

1, 19, 27

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold. I mean, I love almost everything this author writes but I'd only read her space opera series before this, and space opera was (at least back then) not as much my genre as Fantasy is.

It was also a very different type of fantasy from what I'd experienced. I'd mostly read grand sweeping fantasy epics before CoC, with a dash of Tamora Pierce to even things out. But I think this was the first time I'd seen adult fantasy which was less about world domination and more about people just trying to get by in the face of curses and life in general etc. Caz is a wonderful protagonist because he's so tired and so traumatized and he juxtaposes beautifully with Iselle (who is the /thematic/ protagonist) who's vibrant and a beacon of hope. The divinity-based magic system is wonderful. The way of breaking the curse is wonderfully clever. This book made me actually weep more than once. I just- //flails

It also made me be more active about searching for adult fantasy I was actually interested in, because till that point I really thought all we could have were chosen one quest narratives.

Quote:

“Any man can be kind when he is comfortable. I'd always thought kindness a trivial virtue, therefore. But when we were hungry, thirsty, sick, frightened, with our deaths shouting at us, in the heart of horror, you were still as unfailingly courteous as a gentleman at ease before his own hearth.”

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

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5 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It just struck me how the MCU is milking the hell out of a nearly manufactured out of whole cloth mentor-mentee/dad-son relationship between a billionaire superhero and a socially disadvantaged kid superhero while the dc cinematic universe, which has multiple canon relationships like that, ignored them COMPLETELY in favor of more serial killer showcases.

7 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

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