#it genuinely makes my blood boil because HELLO???

[bedforddanes75]

thinking about hozier's "bog man fairycore aesthetic" reputation and Vomiting

[jo6hny]

 She got my heartbeat. Skipping down 16th Avenue - Hazel Callahan

Pairing: College student! Hazel Callahan x College student! Reader 

Contains: fluff, hazel being woozy from meds, mentions of beating PJ up (i love her this was for the plot), somewhat idiots very in love, kissing!!!  

Summary: Based on this request.

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: yay i managed to post this week! Onto the next request. Also, let me know if you’d like to be tagged onto future Hazel oneshots :) ! 

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“What the fuck happened?!” You exclaimed, barging into Hazel’s hospital room. 

Sylvie and the rest of the girls were there by her bedside, earnestly looking after the injured girl. They give you a look of pity and guilt. Everyone knew how protective you could get of your best friend. 

“Pretty girl, hello!” Hazel slurred, jolting upwards into a sitting position. Her heart rate monitor was spiking. She had taken several medications for her injuries and it made her loopy and out of her mind most of the time. 

Sylvie gently pushes her back down and interrupts Hazel. “Hey, she kind of got into a fight.” 

“Kind of?” You interject, your arms flailing in panic. Hazel looked like shit. Her lip was busted and her eye swollen. To add to this, her face had been colored purple and blue from several bruises around her face. The sight of her made your heartache and made you want to coddle the brunette. 

“We’re sorry this happened,” Isabel started, making her way to you. “It’s just that PJ and Josie tricked all of us into the fight club and Hazel had to fight the big guy. It’s a super long story.” 

“I’m gonna fucking kill PJ.” You muttered, feeling your eye twitch and your blood boil. You had never liked her, she had always left a bad taste in your mouth. It baffled you why Hazel always spoke so highly of her. Josie, you could get it. She was nice albeit awkward but she was never mean spirited like PJ was. 

“Noo not good, pretty. Bad.” Hazel interrupted. Even in her disheveled state she was defending PJ. It stung and you felt a sense of dejection. But you pushed it aside as you realize that you needed to step up and take care of her because no one else will. Hazel’s mom was vacationing god knows where and her dad was out of the picture a long time ago. She only had you. 

Making your way to her, the girls parted and offered you a seat beside her hospital bed. You had noticed that her heart rate monitor was incredibly high but figured that it was the leftover adrenaline from what ensued. 

“Hey Haze,” You whisper, voice cracking. “I’m gonna get you home, okay?” 

“Pretty girl going to take care ‘me?” She asked, she was slurring her words and it came out kind of whiny. 

A shy smile spread across your face. She had never called you pretty girl before. Sure, she was never shy of compliments but never outright like this. It made you wonder if there were truth to her words. 

You nodded, taking her hand. “Of course, Haze.” 

“Dude your heart rate keeps going up, I’m gonna call a nurse.” Sylvie observed, taking Isabel with her to get someone. She was genuinely concerned for Hazel, her heart rate kept going up especially when you came around which she found weird. 

“‘M face hurts.” Hazel said. Her breathing was shallow and she could barely open one eye. 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Haze.” You replied, rubbing her hand with your thumb. This was something you often did whenever you were nervous or apologetic. In return, Hazel would squeeze yours back three times as if to say it’s okay. At least that’s what you thought. 

The girls came back to the room with the nurse they found to assist Hazel. She was tall and looked kind. Almost reminiscent of Hazel’s mom without the flashy jewelry and short hair. 

“You say her heart rate was spiking?” The nurse asked, closely looking at her heart rate monitor. 

Sylvie nodded and pointed to you. “Yeah it started going up when she arrived.” 

The nurse looked at you with curiosity in her eyes and then she spotted your interlocked hands. The tips of her mouth perked up and her gaze glinted with mischief. 

“Huh,” She started, looking at you with a teasing gaze. “Must be leftover adrenaline from the fight.” 

“That’s what I thought so too.” You replied, feeling confident in your answer. It didn’t cross your mind to think that she might be hinting at something else. Why would she? She was a stranger and friends held hands all the time. Though, your heart rate definitely didn’t feel fast whenever you're holding other people’s hands, only with Hazel. 

“Sure.” The nurse said, turning her back from you. Her tone was sarcastic and it baffled you. But you brushed it aside, choosing to put your attention to Hazel instead. 

After some more checking, the nurse ruled out anything dangerous but told Hazel to be careful. And as her primary caretaker, you took it upon yourself to talk to the Nurse too. Just to find out what to do and when you could take your bestfriend home. The lady was nice enough to supply all the correct answers but not without sly remarks about “taking good care of your girlfriend”. Whatever that meant. Finally, she told you that Hazel would be able to go home tomorrow which gave you relief. It was gonna be hard work but you weren’t complaining as it was Hazel you were pouring your care onto. 

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Back at your dorm, Hazel occupies her side of the room and is slumped against her bed. Despite her wounds healing, she hadn’t been quite active; not like herself at all. You’d blamed the meds that the doctor prescribed, as well as the bruise the altercation might have left on her ego. 

“You look really pretty today.” Hazel said, complimenting you. This was her 10th compliment of the day and she didn’t show any signs of stopping. Again, something you blamed the meds on. She was all loopy and hallucinating. You didn’t look pretty at all today, body adorned with just a regular hoodie and sweatpants. 

“Mhm, sure Haze. Thank you.” You reply, sitting on her bed and taking out the supplies needed to tend to her wounds. 

Facing her, you inch closer towards your best friend and take a good look before reaching for her bruise medication. Her face still looked splotchy because of the bruises, but certainly better. 

“Thank you for taking care of me, I owe you a lot, pretty.” she mumbled, her one non swollen eye looking at you with affection. Hazel might have been on medication but she meant every compliment that came out of her mouth. In a way she was glad for it because it enables her to voice out her thoughts about you. 

“It’s okay. I would take care of you any day.” You reassure her, giving her a smile. It still breaks your heart whenever you recall what happened to her. She deserved so much better, especially after you learned about the argument her and PJ had prior to the fight. You wanted to beat the shit out of PJ so bad but restrained yourself because you knew that Hazel wouldn’t forgive you. But still, you can’t help but glare and stick your middle finger up at her whenever you pass each other by at the halls. 

“I’m gonna beat PJ up as payback for what happened to you, I swear to god.” You added, your voice was shaky. 

“Don’t.” Hazel replied, taking your hand in hers. She did it again, squeezed your hand thrice. It made your heart flutter. But at the same time, it saddened you how much she defended PJ. 

“Don’t defend her, Haze. She’s the reason you got hurt.” You reply defensively, intertwining your hand with hers. If you had a heart rate monitor at home, Hazel’s would have skyrocketed right now. She was praying that her pulse didn’t give anything away but you seemed to be distracted by the hate you had for her friend. 

“I’m not,” She started, staring her one eye at you. “It’s just that you’re too good for that, beautiful.” 

“Stop that.” You whisper, avoiding eye contact. You decide to distract yourself by opening up the treatment for her bruises and applying it onto her. 

“Stop what?” 

“You know, complimenting me. You’re too loopy from the meds.”

Hazel shakes her head, interrupting you from treating her wound. “That’s not true.” 

“Yes it is. I mean, you have been doing the same since the hospital.” You retort, trying to evade Hazel’s attempt at knocking at your heart. It wasn’t working, of course. Her admittance of her affection for you made you feel loopy. 

“It might have started at the hospital but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t true. I do think you’re beautiful and kind and gorgeous and the best person in the world.” She rambled on, listing positive things about you. 

The brunette’s confession shocked you, leading you to push down a bit harder on her bruise as you applied her medication. 

“Ow!” Hazel exclaimed, it felt like her bruise would resurface with the pressure you put on her face. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You reply, frantically caressing her face as to apologize for accidentally hurting her. 

“It’s okay.” Hazel mumbled, bringing a hand up to her cheek. “Kinda hurts though.” 

“I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” 

Hazel’s eyebrows perk up at your offer. The cogs in her mind were working overtime and she was going to take a leap at what she was going to do but it would all be worth it. 

“I know how you can make it up to me.” She led on, a small smirk displayed on her face. She couldn’t quite smile as there were cuts on her lips that disabled her from doing so. 

“How?” You cocked your head to the side, curious to what her demands were. You felt really bad. To be fair, Hazel surprised you and she couldn’t just do that so suddenly, not when your hands were on her face. She knew how reactive you could get. 

“A kiss.” She beamed, proud of herself. 

You stare at her, bewildered. 

“We need to get you off those meds.” You mumble, putting away her ointment. This was you trying to hide your face that was sporting a blush. You could feel the warmth spread past your countenance and through your body. 

“I’m serious!” Hazel flailed, sitting upright. She had never been more serious in her entire life. She could come off as goofy most of the time but never with you. She had always tried her best whenever she was with you. You deserve the best things in life and she knew this. 

“Alright okay.” You caved, positioning yourself closer to her so that it was easier for your lips to attach themselves to her wounds. 

“Really?” The blue eyed girl questioned. She didn’t think she’d get this far. 

You hummed in response and made your way forwards, pressing a chaste kiss on the apple of her cheek right where the bruise was starting to shift colors. And then you planted another towards her swollen eye, careful not to put any pressure. Then, your lips found its ways towards hers. You hover over her lips, not quite sure if you should continue. 

“Please kiss me.” Hazel whispered, feeling a bit pathetic at her plea. But then again, this was all she ever wanted. To be near you and feel you. And if she were honest, she’d get beat up a thousand times again if it meant being under your tender care. 

At this, you press your lips onto hers. You were careful not to press too hard as you minded the cuts she obtained from the fight. But still, you kissed her with much love and yearning. With all of the pent up feelings you had for your best friend. She tasted like skittles. The only thing she’d enthusiastically eat during these past few days that she’d rested. 

“Do you feel better now?” You ask, parting your lips from hers. The beating of your heart was loud and you could physically feel your heart thump against your chest. 

“Well,” She said, as if in deep thought. “I think you need to kiss me more, to be honest. I don’t feel too well.” 

You laugh at her attempt to convince you to kiss her again. It worked, though. Obviously. But it was just so…Hazel. So authentically her. 

“Oh no!” You feigned worry, playing along. “We wouldn’t want that.” 

“No. Not at all.” Hazel shook her head. She took her spare hand and wrapped it around your waist. 

Leaning in once again, you take a moment to examine her features. The contrast of her sharp features against the violent splotches of purple and green and beige. She looked beautiful. Right then and there you swore that you’d protect her. Never let anything like this happen again. Protect her against the stupid football guy, PJ, anyone. 

“What are you thinking of?” Hazel asked, breaking you out of your trance. 

“How good you look. And how I’m totally gonna kick that football guy and PJ’s ass.” You reply, earning a groan from your best friend. 

“More kissing, less kicking ass, please.” She pleaded. 

“Alright okay.” You laughed, connecting your lips to hers again. You weren’t sure where this left the both of you. If it meant that you two were together now. You made a mental note to bring this up to her once you two finish making out. 

Hazel on the other hand, was elated. She had to personally thank her nurse and doctor for prescribing her meds that made her more loopy as hell but confident. She couldn’t believe it! She was kissing her best friend and long time crush all because of some stupid meds that got rid of her shyness. Hazel was going to enjoy this, she thought. And she also thought about how she was going to scream everything out into the world. How she finally got her girl and how lucky she felt. 

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tags: @academiareid <3

[jaehyunsprincesspeach]

Hello! Just read I’ll always be for the 6th time. It has a special place on my heart. Thank you for writing these

Also, I saw that your requests are opened. Can you pls write yn with low self steam and not sure if Jaehyun will love her? Only if you’re comfortable with this subject of course

okay so this has taken me so long because i heavily relate to this, and i wanted it to be good for you

I hope you enjoy it!!

warnings: insecurities, thoughts of not being good enough, mentions of hate comments, mentions of negative thoughts

xoxo ~ lunar

Nobody Else For Me

life is a movie… most of the time… but even movies aren’t perfect, just like everything else in life. you and jaehyun have been dating for six months, and its been a dream come true for both of them. for jaehyun, it was love at first sight… the second he saw you, he knew he needed to have you… he’s the perfect gentleman… he refuses to let you touch any sort of door handle, buys you little random gifts that make him think of you, sending goofy pictures and videos when he’s away, calls and texts as often as he can, genuinely making all the time that he can for you. despite his busy schedule, he’s always there for you.

for you, you couldn’t have asked for a better relationship… you’re living a romance movie… nobody has ever made you feel as loved and cherished as jaehyun does. but even the movies have their lows. for you and jaehyun, it happens to be his career. he’s an idol… a star… he’s got the world looking at everything that he does, which is why you two keep your relationship away from the media… the only people who know are the people that the two of you trust the most. despite the extra precautions you two took, the world discovered your relationship after you were seen getting out of the car after a date night in, giving him a quick kiss before leaving for the night. when you woke up in the morning, your phone was blowing up with new followers, people commenting on your pictures, and sending you direct messages. despite some of the fans giving you love and praising you for making jaehyun happy, the amount of hate that filtered into your social media was overwhelming. negative comments about insecurities that already brew in your mind are brought to light as you look through the flood of comments on your pictures…

jaehyun was already at schedules when the pictures hit the media, and he didn’t know about the sudden spotlight that was now on your relationship. he wasn’t near his phone and he didn’t see the messages you had been sending him “jae… they found out…”, “why are people so mean?”, “please tell me what they’re saying isn’t true…”

knowing he was at schedules, you were left alone with your thoughts brewing in your mind, growing more and more negative as the minutes pass… one of the first things that you talked about with jaehyun when you started dating was your insecurities… he knows all about them, and he makes an extra effort to make sure that you don’t believe your insecurities, but right now, there’s nothing that could get you out of the negative thoughts that are consuming your mind.

as you sit in your room hiding away from the world, you turn off your phone to get away from the flood of negativity, hiding your phone in your closet, missing the messages that jaehyun finally sends…

“y/n, where are you?”, “baby please tell me you’re okay?”, “y/n, i’m coming over, i need to know you’re okay…”, “its not true… none of its true… you’re perfect in every way and you’re mine… im not letting go of you…”, “im on my way baby, please be okay, i need you…”

jaehyun sits in the car as his manager drives him to your apartment as fast as he can. jaehyun sits in the back seat panicking at the fact that you haven’t answered any of his messages. he reads all of the nasty things that people are posting and saying about you and his blood boils… he wants to do something… to say something to the fans… but right now, his biggest priority is making sure you are okay. he knows how your mind works, and how your insecurities are eating away at your mind right now, and all he cares about is making sure you see how much he loves you and wants to be with you.

as soon as he gets to your apartment, he bolts out of the car, not even letting his manager put it in park, and sprints to your door knocking desperately to get you to answer

“y/n! it’s jae! please i know you’re there!”

as you lay in bed, now crying from the overwhelming thoughts, you hear his knocking and his desperate voice from your door… you quietly get up and unlock the door for him and he bursts into the apartment, immediately wrapping you into a protective embrace.

“y/n! thank goodness! you… i… i was so scared… you weren’t answering my messages…”

he keeps you in a tight embrace, running his fingers through your silky hair, refusing to let go of you until he hears your sniffles. he pulls back only enough to look at you, and his heart breaks seeing your puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. you look away whispering softly

“jae… why are you with me?”

his heart shatters at the question. he gently places his hands on your cheeks, bringing your eyes back to his

“baby… none of its true… whatever they’re saying about you, its not true…”

you sniffle as tears form in your eyes again

“why are you with me? you could be with someone better… someone prettier… someone famous… why are you settling for me?”

jaehyun talks sternly but gently, trying to get his message through the negative thoughts that cloud your mind

“no. y/n dont say that. its you baby… only you… i dont want anyone but you… im not settling y/n, you’re the one my heart wants… nobody else… there’s nobody more perfect for me than you.. please baby, believe me… you’re everything to me…”

as you hear his words, tears begin falling again from your eyes… you want to believe him, but your mind keeps telling you the opposite… your insecurities of not being enough for him overwhelm you more than they ever have before, and he can see that in your eyes. before you can say anything else, he pulls you into a deep, passionate kiss, pouring his entire heart out to you through the action as he holds you tightly. his passion and love for you is undeniable as he kisses you like he’s never kissed you before… as if it would be the last time he ever gets to kiss you… he pours out his love for you, refusing to let the negative thoughts and insecurities consume you. when he finally pulls away, he gently brushes your tears away with his thumb, his touch relaxing you. he walks you to the couch in your living room and sits down, pulling you on his lap, burying his face into your hair.

“y/n, please believe me… i need you… i need you by my side… you’re the only one for me… the only one i want… please, don’t let the negative thoughts in… come back to me…”

he can see in your eyes that your mind is clouded with negativity, as he pleads for you to come back to him… come back from the negativity in your mind… after a few minutes you look at him again, looking deep into his eyes, as if you’re searching for the truth in his eyes, and you’re met with unconditional love and need for you, just from the look in his eyes. you gently press your forehead against his, your silent way of telling him you believe him and you trust him. his hand gently trails from your back into your hair as he holds your head to his, basking in the gentle, intimate moment between the two of you before he whispers softly.

“i love you y/n. please, please stay with me… there’s nobody else for me… only you…”

you silently nod your head against his, putting all of your trust in him, as the negative thoughts slowly fade away. he holds you tightly until all that is left in your mind is thoughts of him and his love for you, refusing to let go of you until he knows that the negativity has left your mind. he keeps you as close as he can, running his fingers through your hair, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, tracing little circles on your back with his fingers, doing anything and everything he can to relax you and your thoughts.

“you’re it for me y/n… im not letting go of you… not now, not ever… i love you, so much.”

as he dries your tears you look into his eyes. the sparkle of love you always have when you look at him is no longer clouded with negativity as you look deep into him.

“i love you too jae…”

[mushyshroomz1]

Part 2 with Mr kitty

You're welcome to stay in Mr. Kitty's home for as long as you want. Mainly because he doesn't plan to let you go, and you have no other items to trade for your freedom. It's not the worst level to be on, but it just makes you wish you were back at home with the family. You don't hate it here, really you're grateful to be cared for. You just hoped the tall entity would allow you to be alone. Every step you take, he'll be watching you. In the rooms, hallways, kitchen, and yes…in the bathroom. Groaning, you peeked from behind the shower curtains to see the entity standing In front of the mirror.

“Oh for goodness’ sake get out!” You shouted, tossing a bottle of shampoo at Mr. kitty. Who caught it and placed it on the bathroom counter. He seemed to be confused by your outburst yet left with hesitation. With a snort, you rinsed out the conditioner from your hair, grabbed a towel and got ready. That's when you noticed he left you a dress.

“It's not…ugly I guess.” You mumbled.

With a deep breath, you stepped out of the bathroom, seeing him sitting on the bed, hunched over with his hands gripping on a hello kitty plushie. When he heard the click of the door, the slender man rushed to you with excitement, circling you in awe. You were wearing a white dress he gave as a gift. You looked even better than he imagined. Absolutely breathtaking.

He took you by your hands, and pulled you to the kitchen for a classic tea party. As grown as he was, he just couldn't help himself. How often does he get to have company that he genuinely adores? Never. You're far more pleasant than his last visitors. Strangers love to stay and eat all the food in the fridge. Never washed their dishes. Tossing their dirty clothes on the floor. Took over the TV. Worse of all, they slept in HIS bed. How disrespectful can humans be? Mr. kitty didn't recall asking for a roommate. So, he sent them away. Cleaning after slobs like them makes his blood boil.

“A…tea party?” You asked the tall figure that shook his hands in anticipation. Letting go, he pulled out a chair, beckoning you to come sit. Which you, of course, do. “Huh?” You glanced up as he gently patted your head. A sign of being good, you supposed. “Thank you Mr. Kitty.” He picked up a notebook and pen before sitting across from you, scribbling down something before turning the notebook around for you to read.

“Please darling, call me Kitty. I'm so happy you decided to join us. I was worried you would be far too annoyed with me.”

You looked from the notebook to him, seeing as he tilted his head, waiting for a response.

“Alright… Kitty. I'm honored to be invited. Thank you for the dress, it's comfy.”

After that, he flipped the page and began writing again. His large hands held such a small pink pen.

“You're quite welcome. If you don't mind me asking. Why were you upset with me?”

You picked up a blueberry muffin from your plate and sighed. “You violated my privacy and made me uncomfortable.”

Kitty clicked the pen a few times, seeming to be lost for words. He looked off with a hand over his cheek. Hanging his head low, he wrote carefully as you ate almost half the large blueberry muffin. Clearing your throat, you picked up your tea for a few sips, before scanning your peepers on the paragraph he wrote.

“I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just worried, is all. Not only that, but I wish for you to be safe in my presence. Darling, I want to make you happy, and if that means leaving you alone. That is perfectly fine. I will cut back and peer my presence away for a moment. I admit that it was rude of me to stare.”

You squint your eyes as you read and frown. “Thank you Kitty. Really, I'm glad we can come to an agreement. I never knew you were afraid to let me out of your sight. Is there a reason why?”

He nodded his head in a rather slow motion.

Apparently, he has an axe in his room for other entities that dare no clip in his territory. It doesn't happen often, really. It's one in a great moon, but possible. It all made sense why he watches over you. Fear. He's frightened he'd lose the one person he has in his life that's keeping him sane. He's still shy, but your presence sparked something within him. All his worries seem to wash away when you're near.

The tea party was a success! Kitty got to know your story. While you got to know some things about him. He's scared of dogs/ bugs. The favorite color is, of course, pink. Loves cute things. Has a family but moved to be alone. It turned into a game of 20 questions.

[spookypete-94]

Beastie: Chapter #8 GhostxFem!reader

Slow burn, following MW2 storyline, eventually branching into my own. Warning for canon COD violence and language.

part 7.

part 6.

part 5.

part 4.

part 3.

part 2.

part 1.

The phone rang to Laswell. Who never did answer... making the rage within Y/N ignite further. What was she to do now? Why did Shepherd black ball her on this? She sat down the phone still in her hand, she didn't have a good feeling on this.

Alejandro sliding her door open made her finally look up from her pity party.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly walking in.

"Not your fault, just don't understand it."

"Graves wouldn't elaborate to all of us why either. You've worked hard Y/N, you're not a hinderance what so ever. I want you to know that."

"Thanks Colonel," she said looking up at him again. Out of the week they had worked together he had hardly used her real name, telling her he was trying to be genuine. "Really do appreciate it."

"We will be heading out here shortly, taking a main ship to take out three smaller boats for the teams that have been assigned." Alejandro briefed her. The spiteful side of her wanted to tell him to hold his breath, to not even waste his time, but she honestly was curious how it all was going to go down.

"Just, you all be careful, yeah?"

"Always," Alejandro nodded. "Rudy is staying here. He is going to work on vehicles if you want to help him." Alejandro offered to her. "I know you like having something to do."

"Thanks Alejandro, I appreciate it." She said getting up planning to head to the garage. She watched as he left towards the group leaving for the oil rig. Ghost and Soap turned to look at her, making her stop for a moment. Soap gave a small wave which she returned to the both. Her eyes lingering to Ghost who unbeknownst to her because of his mask was looking at her longingly.

"Let's roll out!" Graves yelled commanding the group. His voice making her blood boil, so she turned on her heel and headed to help Rudy.

"Beastieeeee," Rudy said in a playful way.

"'Sup Rudy," She said trying to help boost her state of mind.

"Come to help me did you?"

"Sure did, what can I do?"

"Bring me that tool kit over there." He said pointing to the black case on the tool bench.

Rudy was a great distraction. He never once brought up the mission or the fact that she wasn't allowed to attend. Instead, he would ask her a few things about her personal life asking if she was willing to talk about that stuff, in exchange he told things about his. She learned that he met Alejandro through the military becoming best friends working side by side. He had a wife with 3 kids, his home on the outskirts of Las Almas.

Hours passed by, as they listened to radio traffic start from Rudy's that was on his vest. His vest hooked around an old shop chair. It was mostly static due to the distance, but they could hear enough to know they were all close to the oil refinery.

"Weather sounds rough out there," Rudy noted.

"Right? Can't tell if it's the waves out there or if that is rain," Y/N said trying to decipher the noises. And just like clock work, thunder sounded off in the distance, telling her that rain was coming and more then likely the group was dealing with the elements on their mission.

Her phone was ringing in her pocket.

Laswell

"Hello?" Y/N

"Beastie, saw you had a missed call, heard the coordinates worked out to a oil refinery out in the Gulf. Are you on the way then?"

Y/N was speechless. Clearly Laswell wasn't told.

"Shepherd gave orders I wasn't to go."

".....What?" Laswell asked, shocked.

Y/N remained silent, already given her answer.

"Who told you this?"

"Graves."

"I was not notified," her voice now coated with anger.

"Are you surprised at this rate?"

"I'm going to call Shepherd." The line then went dead, Laswell abruptly hanging up.

"She didn't know?" Rudy looked up at her confused, sliding back up from the vehicle.

"Guess not," Y/N said, still staring down at her phone. It was now late around 1800. Peeking out the window, the black clouds that were approaching made it so much darker outside.

"Let's go find food, think most of the work is done." Rudy said getting up and brushing himself off. Out of habit he strapped his vest to himself.

In the kitchen, they had found some left overs in the large industrial style fridge. Rudy threw them in a pain to heat them up. Even for leftovers from the vigil, they were still quite tasty.

Y/N stayed close with him monitoring radio traffic still, worried about the main three men that she has bonded and worked side by side with.

"Sounds like they have it handled, think they located the missile and had to blow up the oil rig from what I understand." He said as the both stilled to listen to the traffic.

"All units RTB," Ghost said, crackling about every half second through his radio transmission.

"Should all be here in a couple of hours," Rudy said looking down at his watch.

Once more Y/N phone vibrated in her pocket.

"Laswell," Y/N answered knowing who it would be.

"Get out of there," her voice was serious, making Y/N's eyes flash over at Rudy, urgency now readable on her face. He also heard Laswell say it.

"What's happening?"

"I can't get Shepherd to answer, he has gone dark. I wonder if he has been tapping my phone conversations and knows what was said last night. I think he knows we are both suspicious of this whole mission."

"Shit," Y/N said, urgently heading to her room to gather her gear. "What do you think is happening?"

"I don't know, but I don't like it and I want you out of there."

"We have a safe house," Rudy said offering up a place to go. He was close enough to be able to listen to the phone call.

"Rudy says there is a safe house."

"Go with him," Laswell begged, happy to hear of an option.

"We're packing up now, I'm going to go dark. I'll find a way to get ahold of you." Y/N said quickly throwing the phone down on the floor and shattering it with her boot. She then pulled the SD card from it breaking it in half. Her vest was thrown on and her pistol on her thigh in it's holster. Sloppily, she threw her items in her bag, Rudy standing in the doorway peaking into the hallway, on guard. She slung her black tactical bag with her change of clothes, minor first aid items, and the jewelry set Ghost had paid for, on her back.

She racked one into her rifle and nodded to Rudy she was ready. "We go back out to the shop, take one of the trucks."

"Alright," she nodded, following him back out to the shop.

Yelling then started.

"Get on the ground!!"

"Fuuuuuck," Rudy hissed, halting, lifting his gun up and turning the corner.

It was Grave's shadows. It looked to be they were detaining the other Los Vaqueros.

"Quickly!" Rudy had whispered towards her. "Don't shoot unless needed, don't give us away."

She nodded, her adrenaline running high, her eyes looking at him wide.

The yelling only got louder and closer, as they stayed low and moved beside a side wall.

She was startled when someone grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back making her yell.

It was a Shadow, pulling her back by her vest, grabbing ahold of her radio as he did. Pulling a knife from her belt, she reached up cutting the arm of the Shadow.

"Fucking, Bitch!" The Shadow yelled at her. "Just need you to comply!" He said reaching for her again. She looked over at Rudy and saw him fighting with another Shadow. She pulled a smoke bomb off her vest and pulled the pin, dropping it between her and the Shadow she was fighting and pulled the other Shadow off of Rudy.

"Let's go!" Rudy yelled pulling her hand, the smoke bombs filling the building. She tried to keep up with him, but eventually lost grip with his hand. The smoke filled her sight and she wasn't sure where she was going now.

"Shit, shit, shit," she whispered starting to stress out. Her memory served her good as she found Rudy, but Shadows filled into the shop. Y/N started shooting them dropping a few, Rudy starting to do the same. The group finally stopped filling in, allowing Rudy and Y/N to get into a truck, Rudy as the driver.

Rudy floored it, throwing it into reverse and out of the garage they were in and started to head out of base through the back fence and into a gate. He didn't even bother wasting time to open the gate, forcing it down and driving over it with the truck.

"What the fuck was that?" Y/N turned to Rudy and asked. It was more rhetorical then anything.

"I don't know..." Rudy said quietly, stunned. The radios were then starting to go crazy. They both stayed silent and listened. From what they could tell, the members from 141, meaning Ghost and Soap, had somehow got away from Graves, but not on good terms. They were hunting the city for them. She couldn't just leave them.

"....Rudy." She said quietly. This made him turn to look at her.

"Beastie, no." He was giving her a side eye.

"I can't leave them.."

Rudy sighed, slowing the truck down. Y/N looked at him telling he was conflicted. "Go to the safe house. Maybe Alejandro is there."

He looked over at her giving a harsh face before pulling an old napkin out of the glove box. "These are the coordinates and directions to the safe house heading out of town. Take this truck, I'm going to go get one of the armored one's that we have parked and take it in to the safe house." He turned the truck around and headed to an old building not too far off from the Vaqueros base.

"It's gonna be alright Rudy," she said in a tone trying to convince him and herself.

"You better stay alive, or I am never going to forgive you or myself."

"See you soon," she said smiling to him as he got out of the truck and headed to where she assumed the armored truck was stored at.

Y/N slipped the older truck into drive and started towards town. She listened to the radio chatter trying to hear any update between the Shadows about Soap or Ghost. All she could hear was them talking trash or expressing their concerns, so instead she started flipping channels in the off chance Soap and Ghost were talking to each other... and sure enough.

"Church is on the northside of town. Get there," She heard Ghost's gravely voice.

"Yes sir," Soap said, his voice exhausted.

She reached for her mic to key up, realizing it was broke from the struggle with the Shadow at the base. "Fuck," she growled, "Go figure." The wire was frayed at the mic, the button bashed into itself not allowing her to key up.

Y/N ducked her head down to try to find a building tall to look through the windshield trying to find a building she would consider a church... What are the odds she could get the truck as close as possible? Pushing her luck she creeped into the further north side of town heading south bound towards the church. From the way she entered into town she was unseen by Graves and his Shadows. Most of them on the south side of town. Slowly, she let the truck roll further past the gate of what she assumed was the church. She turned the truck off, pulling the keys out so they didn't cause the truck to ding placing them in a cup holder. She slowly dropped out of the vehicle leaving the door open not wanting to alert anyone by closing it.

She made herself small, rifle still in her hands as she crouched down. No way she was going to clear the main gate, she pulled on it seeing it was locked. She stood on the brick wall of the gate and pulled herself up one of the shorter ones. She wanted to call out to Ghost, but didn't want to alert anyone else if they were around. Inching little by little she pushed the front door open a bit letting it breath before she stepped in. Instantly, someone had her arm pulling her to the ground and pinned, "Ghost! Ghost!" she yelled hoping it was him unable to see her attacker, pulling her gater mask down as she did. She only hoped if it was him she could get him to stop before he ended her.

"It is you," she heard him grumble, her breathing now ragged. She could see a knife in his hand that he sheathed. He reached a hand picking her up off the ground. "I really didn't think it could be you. ..Sorry." She sighed relieved taking his hand, standing back up.

"What the fuck happened?" she asked him.

"Graves turned."

"He took over the Vaqueros base. Rudy gave me this. It's instructions on how to get their safe house." She said handing him the napkin. He glanced down at it, reading it briefly.

"Rudy got out?"

"I believe we were the only two that did. Laswell called and tipped us off, said Shepherd went dark. She seems to think he was listening to our phone conversations. So I think he knows I don't trust him and think there is more to this then what he is letting on."

"Clearly." He said dryly. "You hurt at all?" his voice now showing concern.

"No, my radios broke though. Been listening to you and Soap but can't key up, asshole folded my mic in. You both sound like an old married couple," she quipped. This made Ghost shift, his eyes changing shape as he looked down at her.

"Trying to keep him moving, think he's injured. There was gunfire between the altercation with Graves and his men at the front gate and think he was hit. They took Alejandro in custody."

This made her stomach drop. "Rudy was hoping he made it to the safe house."

"I doubt he did, if he is even still alive."

Y/N sighed, more anxiety filling her bones.

"You hurt at all?"

"No," Ghost answered in a low rumble. She sighed, backing up from her further to get a better look at him comfortably instead of having to crane her neck up to look at him.

"So what exactly happened that you got separated from Rudy?"

"We didn't exactly get separated. I heard the radio traffic that you and Soap bailed off into the city, and they were searching for you both. Told Rudy to get to the safe house in case Alejandro was there or on the way."

"You came back for us?" Ghost said taking a step forward closing that gap she had reclaimed earlier, looking down at her intensely again. She could tell by his tone that he either was shocked or had admiration for her for doing so. She just couldn't tell which since his face was covered.

"Couldn't leave you." She muttered up to him. "Couldn't leave you both." she clarified. " I didn't know what was happening." Rambling again, trying to distract herself from her nerves that he gave her.

She watched as he lifted his right arm, his gloved hand finding her face where it then held her cheek. His thumb running over her lower lip. This seeming to be his signature move to her. Like he knew it raised the hair on her skin. She could only stare up at him in wonder, unable to break eye contact with him.

"Ghost," Soap spoke across the radio, ruining the small moment.

"Yeah?" Ghost said back. Y/N turned her down to cut off the feedback from hers.

"Made it to the tunnels."

"Beastie is here."

"Beastie?" Soap asked surprised.

"Said that her and Rudy got out. Rudy isn't here though."

"Glad they are alright."

"Follow the tunnels, you're close." Ghost said climbing up towards the tower to do overwatch.

Y/N followed him, climbing the steps trying to keep up with his pace.

"We can use the truck to get out of here to get to the safe house."

"Mmm." Was all Ghost said setting up with his sniper rifle, giving her at least the acknowledgment that he had heard her. The area began to crawl with Shadows, them knowing Soap was somewhere in this area. She laid next to Ghost, using the scope of her rifle to watch for Soap. Eventually he broke through a door out of shop where a Shadow was waiting for him. Ghost picked him off with no issue, but now their location was blown as some of the other Shadows ran towards the church. Heavy gunfire was being exchanged between Soap and the enemy.

Y/N dropped a few before Ghost stood up and radioed out that there were enemies breaking into the church. They both ran out of the building and into the courtyard. Ghost grabbed ahold of her by her waist, hoisting her up allowing her to grab the bar and pull herself over. As soon as she dropped to the ground, she had her rifle up to cover Ghost's back. He ran back a few feet before full board sprinting to the gate, jumping on some pallets using them to clear it. Two Shadows popped out the front which she quickly dropped. They both met Soap at the steps.

"That truck there!" she said pointing and signaling to Soap that was where they needed to go.

It was a struggle, but eventually they reached it. Y/N piled in Soap taking the passenger seat, Ghost in the driver's.

The back window was shot out behind them, throwing broken glass onto them. Soap leaned around with a rifle that he pulled off a Shadow, preparing to shoot, but Ghost threw it in reverse and ran them both over. Soap leaned around the both of them and shot another by the drivers side. That was when Y/N noticed the gun shot wound on his left arm. Ghost threw it in drive, launching them forward roughly as the slammed into a gate, spidering the windshield. His arm jerked forward holding her leg in place, trying to keep her from jumbling around the cab.

"Did it go all the way through?" she asked Soap lifting it look.

"I think so."

She noticed the small hole where it did in fact exit.

"Did it go into your side at all?" She peaked running her hand looking for more blood or signs it was lodged in his ribs.

"No, don't know if vest blocked it or if it was when I fought with the one on the ground."

"Gonna pack it for now, will look it over when we get parked." Y/N said pulling the bag off of her carefully trying to not hinder Ghost while he was driving. She cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide to the best of her ability, holding gauze to it trying to slow the bleeding. With the best finesse she could, she wrapped the gauze around it tightening it.

"Thanks Beastie."

"Any time." She said grinning. "I want to punch you in the arm so damn bad."

"Please don't," Soap whined at her covering her arm.

She chuckled leaning back in her seat. To say packed in like a can of sardines would be an understatement. The very large men had her squashed in the middle, but without even realizing it, she scooted closer to Ghost feeling more comfortable with him. Soap leaned his head against the window, exhaustion making him close his eyes for a bit.

"You should try to sleep some too," Ghost said looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"And miss time with you? Where is the fun in that?"

She could tell he was chuckling, shaking his head as he did.

"Don't ever change." He said looking down at her.

"What do you mean by that?"

"The fact you can run your mouth so well without pissin' anyone off. Don't lose that."

This made her quiet, her face flushing as she looked up at Ghost. The stars shinning right back at him making his do the same even if she couldn't tell. She then leaned her head against his arm, taking it upon herself this time to show whatever kind of affection she could. Closing her eyes, she tried to rest as best as she could.

prev.

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Pray I won't catch you

Requested by @steven-grants-world

Dark!Moonknight!Marc Spector x Thief!reader

Author Note: Hello!👋 I decided to make the Moonknight version of Marc. I hope that's alright. :) But a yandere version is in the works!!

Category: Twisted Letter - I recommend you read the informations for twisted letters first ->here<- if you haven't already.

Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the tags!

Tags: Mention of murder, mention of violence, threats and blood.

Hi there, do you remember me?

I really hope you do. You're probably wondering who I am, right? You're a tough cookie to hunt down, sweetheart. You've made me beat your criminal friends right and left, but you're extremely lucky they stood loyal and didn't tell me your exact whereabouts.

I am genuinely surprised how big your organization was. If I wouldn't have had the suit they would have probably killed me.

You know, at first I thought you were like every other thief, thinking they wouldn't be caught only for them to be caught. I was surprised to see how you managed to slip away every goddamn time!

Remember that one time where I actually catched you? Your desperate attempts to fight me off while I had you pinned against that brickwall. Well when I ripped your mask off... I have to say you had a pretty face for a thief.

You almost faced justice by my hands, but you played your cards right... you kicked me in the fucking balls - catching me off guard and dropping you while three of your companions sneaked up behind me only to whack me across the face with a wrench, and beating the living shit out of me with a baseball bat.

I bet you tried contacting them, right? I gotta say, you did the right thing to run away so your pretty eyes would be spared from the bloodshed that was done there.

Well and now? Let's just say your three 'friends' won't be recognizable by the Police.

Do you know how much of a pain in the ass you are? You're like an annoying fly, flying around, too fast to be catched - but in the end, I guarantee you that catching you will be satisfying.

And speaking of catching... did I made you paranoid? Did you shit your pants? Because the last time you were robbing a store, the thief wasn't you, instead it was an old woman, who had been forced to run away, making everyone at the scene believe it was you.

Although my blood was boiling when you had escaped again, I felt myself kind of... enjoying the hunt...

Call me mentally insane but you're like a challenge - a price to be catched. And I like challenges - so... challenge accepted I guess..

But I have to ask you, how long do you think you can play this game? I am beating your criminal companions up like they're some sort of crash test dummys meant to be dropped unconscious or beaten brain dead.

Sooner or later you will be all alone, no more companions will be by your side - already in prison or... buried...

Your best chances would be to just give up and surrender. But I know exactly you won't be doing that, you're goddamn stubborn.

And I'm sure you know what stubborn people like you need, right? You need to be punished. You have to face the consequenses of your actions. And I - Moonknight, am just the perfect person to do just that - catch and punish you.

You better brace yourself, because I am getting closer and closer to catching you, and then, you won't be able to escape.

But don't be afraid, I am not the typical hero you see in those Marvel or DC movies. You can call me an anti-hero if you will. And I think you know what that means - if you do the right choices, I may show mercy and won't deliver you to the police. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook though...

Believe me when I say it will only be a matter of time before I will finally catch you, you won't be able to run and hide forever. And when I have you in my grasp again? Well...

Now with all that out of the way, I'm sure your kind companion I gave the letter to has finally arrived and handed it to you? That's good, because I think you need some much needed time to think about your next move - but remember your time is running out.

And when the time has ran out? I really hope you pray I won't catch you...

-- M. S. aka Moonknight.

[ashyslashyy]

genuine question why dont you like billford?

is it just a "i don't see these two in a romantic light" or more of an active dislike of the two of them together?

1. i dont see them in a romantic light because. what about that is romantic. yes some of the language bill uses in tbob is typically romantic but like. That doesnt really mean anything this is bill we're talking about. from fords perspective it makes absolutely no sense for this to be romantic even before he found out bill was using him. like. bill is this otherworldly being that is supposedly there to bestow knowledge upon ford. thats like. Not really romantic i dont think???? like. even if bill had no cruel intentions and Was helping ford and whatever this still seems like more of an academic/work-based partnership than a romantic one. and like. with what ive said so far im giving people the benefit of the doubt that they only ship them like. Before ford found out bill was being a dick which is still weird considering bill is still actively lying to him but like. Bill ruined fords life. basically everything we've learned recently has shown just how little control ford actually had and how fucking vicious bill was being at every opportunity. This isnt cute. this isnt romantic. hes just fucking torturing him!!! ford has lifelong trauma from this shit!!!!!

2. i dont dislike seeing them together i really really like their character dynamic!! But theyre just. Not characters that should be shipped together. i draw bill and ford together all the time sometimes for jokes sometimes in a serious horror context but i dont see the point in drawing them being all cute and blushing or whatever because its such a massive misinterpretation of everything going on here. like i said they have a very interesting and well written character dynamic But the way people seem to talk about it and make art for it makes my blood boil because it feels like they completely ignore all the stuff that makes it interesting in favor of drawing yaoi or something.

TLDR: i dont think any of the stuff with ford and bill is meant to be seriously interpreted as romantic and about 99% of the time its just complete mischaracterization whenever i see people ship them. ALSO BILL FUCKING ABUSED HIM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. LIKE. HORRIBLY. HELLO. let ford be happy for once he doesnt need this

[venjamin-kingdomhearts]

Ventus and Vanitas for the character asks!! 3, 8, 21, 22, and 23! Sorry if that's too many? You don't gotta do all of em!

HELLO thank you for the ask!! this is a lotta questions but i'm excited to answer them!! Warning, there's a little negativity since some of the questions ask for dislikes about the characters. I love both Ven and Vanitas, I'm just saying my personal thoughts on them! + If you don't agree with these thoughts that's not a huge deal to me, we just agree to disagree LOL

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Ventus - The "You're awful, Aqua" scene. Please Ventus I know you're upset but APOLOGIZE TO AQUA she didn't deserve that. I wish his and Aqua's relationship had more focus in general, because they're really cute when they're together. I genuinely hope Ventus apologizes to her for being a brat in BBS though

Vanitas - To be honest, anything I dislike about Vanitas comes from fanon, since I feel Vanitas does his role as antagonist really well.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Ventus - Two big things.

One: Portraying him as a coldblooded killer when in comes to the KHUX/Strelitzia stuff. I think it's a lot more fun that Ventus didn't mean to hurt anyone, but ended up being responsible for so much pain. It's really tragic, and I think it makes KHUX more interesting as opposed to "Ventus killed Strelitzia out of malice". Also, it's genuinely just funnier like that. I know it's dark but nothing makes me laugh more than the mental image of 10 year old Ventus covered in blood just going "wow is this strawberry jam?? lol how'd this end up here?"

Two: Not the biggest fan of people like. Boiling Ventus' personality to just "oh he's baby". I think Ventus being childish is a really important character flaw, but he's got a lot more to him than just that, and his youthful nature has upsides and downsides. On this note I 100% think Ventus knows what sex is and that that's how babies are made. I know it's a weirdly popular portrayal to just have him not know what sex is at 17 years old. It's also a lot funnier if Ventus just has a different vocabulary from the other characters his age when it comes to adult topics and doesn't understand slang because Master Eraqus taught him that it's impolite to use term XYZ or whatever. Vanitas - Okay this is rough because there's a lot in the KH fandom's portrayals of Vanitas that I really don't like and other things that I really love. But to match Ven I'll boil it down to two big things: One: This one is kinda hard to explain but. I know that Ventus and the Wayfinder Trio DO NOT have to be present in every "Vanitas Redemption Fanfiction" but it really grinds my gears when they're treated as, like, 'close-minded' and completely left out of Vanitas' life. The idea that Vanitas is secretly a good guy and it's just his relationship with the Wayfinders/the Wayfinders themselves are the problem is just such a boring take. They don't have to be on good terms but have Vanitas earn their tolerance, have them settle things, man! It's SO JUICY when they have to work things out or Vanitas feels actual regret and isn't just handed the "you're a good guy now and we trust you" stuff on a silver platter. Ventus, Sora, and Vanitas are a trio...I think that if Sora takes in Vanitas as a friend, he should at least try to understand Ventus' fears about the whole thing.

Two: I think its a BILLION times funnier if Vanitas is shorter than Ventus but SO MANY PEOPLE MAKE HIM TALLER IT PISSES ME OFF. Vanitas and Ventus are either the same size OR Vanitas is shorter. No more tall Vanitas. I am on my hands and knees begging you all. Short King Vanitas. SHORT. KING. VANITAS. As a short person I need this. DO IT FOR ME.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ventus - Hardest thing for me to write when it comes to Ventus are. Sassy remarks/comebacks, and times I'd KNOW he'd be a brat but I can't bring myself to write him saying anything too harsh. But my favorite things to do? I love giving Ventus issues/fears that he would reasonably develop after his 12 year nap. I don't care if canon says he doesn't have horrible insomnia after KH3. He SHOULD have horrible insomnia and I WILL write him crying in frustration when he's struggling with sleep.

Vanitas - I actually don't write Vanitas much. I feel like I can't do him justice, but it's fun to have him just be a douche-bag sometimes. I think I'm not great at his dialogue, but writing about his feelings towards Ventus is fun.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Ventus - I LOVE fics where Ventus is forced to take a more responsible role, or has to balance his childish nature with a growing sense of maturity. This is one of the reasons I'm SUCH a huge fan of fanfics where Ventus is like a big brother figure to Sora. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE fics where Ventus' anger is explored like. Oh he is FULL of anger, man. As much love and kindness that's in his heart. There is Hatred there too. AND ANY FIC THAT REVOLVES AROUND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SORA AND HOW BEING IN SORA'S HEART AFFECTS HIM. Fic recs that have some of the above tropes!

Hurricane Heartbeat by Dorked

Sleeping hearts often wander by Bommie20

How Long Have You Known Sora, Exactly? by 13thSyndicate

Three Quarters by angeltheatre For Ventus stuff I don't like, see question 8's answer

Vanitas - I love when he's kinda. Forcibly made to form a "truce" with Ventus but keeps testing him. I love fics where Ven's just minding his own business and Vanitas is like "I'm gonna start shit >:)" and they both get called out for being idiots when they fight each other. But OH MAN. MORE THAN THAT. I love love love when fics have Vanitas adapt the attitude of "No one can hurt Ventus BUT ME." it's my favorite flavor of protective Vanitas. For stuff I don't like, see question 8's answer

23. Favorite picture of this character?

[woodlandscab1n]

Hello! I got a question, but feel free to ignore!!!

I was considering making a OC(or maybe several OCs?) That are a system and I was wondering if you had any doe and don'ts when it comes to making a system OC, as I am not a system myself and I don't wanna accidentally stigmatize DID and stuff so. 👉👈

Oh cool! I don't have DID, I have possibly OSDD so I can't speak on DID. I do very much recommend doing research outside of this and when I can I will leave some links on the comments thag I think are really helpful!

The difference between DID and OSDD is, Dissociative Identity Disorder is characterized for memory loss between switching and generally more rigid-confusing barriers and inordered structures. While Other Specified Dissociative Disorder is anything outside of that (based in some countries lazyness), and generally less memory loss, different types of it (will link)

I think the very basic things tho is, every headmate is their own person, like a full person, just like you. They have their own complex problems and beliefs. So always have that in mind!

When it comes to the more technical stuff.

Switching, fronting, the headspace, roles and more.

Switching in disordered systems often causes dissociation. Dissociation might feel like you just lost your trail of thought and stares into the wall for a second, then come back and other times it feels like you're stuck in a limbo for like 4h of being in-between outside world (meatspace), not knowing who you are and inside world (headspace).

Systems don't always know they've switched, or that their thoughts aren't their own.

Which that also goes with fronting. For me, I can't un-front I am always fronting and I am always aware and conscious.

However, I am told that when in systems that don't have that same thing as me and from my headmates, it feels like you are either put to sleep (temporary dormancy) or you simple are at the headspace.

The headspace is honestly whatever you want it to be lol. Like genuinely, go wild here with symbolism about your character and their system, make it crazy. It's basically our innerworld where headmates are where we are not fronting. They can go from total void, to the most intricate world you can imagine. And sometimes, there's no headspace at all!

As for roles, uh, sometimes they matter sometimes they don't, again everyone is a complex person and sometimes the brain just makes or brings someone just because, for the littlest of reason and it doesn't even have to be trauma. Like, some of our fictives are just here because I liked them in their source and the brain said "bet". Not every headmate has a big, huge symbolism and purpose to why they were created, others choose to find that purpose by themselves, others just are, others don't give a shit lol.

I don't know that there are any don'ts? Because everything is sorta possible. The "evil" headmate/alter is possible but it doesn't always express the same way neither is it actually evil most of the times, I guess just remember that there is nuance. Imagine why you would be a mean or work against your system if it came to that, what would make you upset, what would make your blood boil or heavily disagree with. Most times, headmates know they're hurting the system, but it's either a means to an end or because they believe something. Some headmates are just assholes and can't be changed but that's just people lol.

The other one is integration and dormancy can be a touchy subject. Many systems believe it to be death or something similar. Integration especially, which is when two headmates mix with each other almost always permanently and if they are ever to separate it's more than likely that they will come out a different person. Maybe with the same memories or knowledge as before, or different ones but usually they still have the knowledge just maybe no memory attached to it.

I don't know what other stuff I could talk about right now, hmmm.

Oh yeah as for what kinda headmates what I make, like are animals allowed? do they all have to look like the host? are they all human?

Anything is allowed lol. I used to be literally my fursona once until I got turned more humanoid like dude, smh. We have literal cats, demons, demoncats, demondogs, demigods, ghosts, polymorphs, shapeshifters, werewolves. My friends have dragons and are nonhuman only, other's have the craziest monster you've thought of lol. And literal objects pft

And if you wanna make fictives, urm, it varies a lot, my fictives have no more knowledge and memories than what they experienced in their source. Reagan didn't even know she was fictional, or that she came from Resident Evil...or what Resident Evil even was 😭

Other fictives know pretty much everything ever, thy know they're fictives, they know their sources, they know how this world works, they know pretty much everything the host would know.

Oh yeah, the host. The host is not the original, not in 90% of the cases. I am not the original, in fact, I have been only been a headmate since 2020! I thought I have always been here, nah, wrong! I was just created from the same line of headmates that were hosts, so I had all their memories and knowledge.

And I think that's about it? Please ask more specific questions if you have more!!! :3 If you wish to ask questions to my headmates about their experiences and all :P

[pussypounder2000]

Hello ! I was just looking on a few plural servers on discord… especially the fictives….. and the surprisingly small amount of other pressure fictives from what I can tell? At least from the two (relatively) okay servers were in.

Bad idea, I know, something is just bound to make your blood boil over in those hellish lands.

anyways I really don’t mean any harmful criticism for this (just kidding, I do) but in my personal opinion I just.

on one of the servers, in one of the channels for fictives source venting, there was a Sebastian fictive talking about how they would often poke themself with some sewing needle or similar to somewhat replicate the “feeling” of being experimented on as to be closer to their source and all that, then asking what they could do to try and stop due to bad memories and that jazz

Personally(as another seb fictive), replicating that not my jam, but the amount of people who were just going after this poor guy instead of helping them at all was actually frustrating to even watch, and solely because they weren’t “acting like they did in their source” by deliberately repeating that

Now, this is your reminder that fictives don’t need to act like their source, because they aren’t really the same. They don’t need to act like their source to be valid, and if you think that if a fictive isn’t a perfect carbon copy of their source then they aren’t good enough, what the fuck is wrong with you.

Fictives don’t owe you anything, no matter what. Not even if you share a source. Not even if they’re a fictive of your favourite character, and especially not if they’re a fictive of your “fictional crush.”

They don’t need to act a certain way or say certain things, everybody reacts differently to issues, whether internal or external, and asking for help with something like that can be genuinely difficult

The fact that they are a fictive should have no affect on your view of them no matter what. Fictives cannot choose their sources, and they are still people with feelings.

It should not ever be the tipping factor between helping someone who’s struggling, or making fun for not “acting like their source.”

The fact that people do that in the first place is the very reason our system doesn’t usually interact with the community(ies).

this feels like such a niche but I’ve heard from other systems that they’ve seen or experienced similar things

It’s disappointing, really.

[theliterarywolf]

hello lit, I saw the recent asks about ai stuff and it made me curious to ask you, since you seem like you understand the ai situation stuff better than I do and I have a lot of respect for you in general. I hope that's okay!

so, to preface, I am 110-thousand-% against ai "artwork" and writing and anything that involves taking someone else's work and "creating art" out of the mangled pieces of other's creations, and the hellscape of bullshit ai nonsense re actor's likenesses and voices. It genuinely boils my blood to a severe degree. I basically wish ai technology was never invented, especially not spread to the degree and usages we're currently seeing in all creative spheres.

that said, I'm rather unsure how the situation sits around one case of ai use, specifically in the area of translation, and specifically for personal use. So, I absolutely don't mean the localization of anything for purchase (like translating games or books), where it absolutely should be done by actual human beings familiar with both the source and target language. but something like: an artist you follow doesn't speak your language, but you want to know what they're saying in the description of a piece they posted, so you input that text into a translator to hopefully get a better idea. Absolutely NOT submitting any images of their work in anyway to anything ai, just attempting to translate what they said beneath it.

Is that still just as bad as the other things mentioned before, that's usually brought up in regards to ai? is it different or worse than using google translate? does it depend on how it's being used?

I guess, I'm just curious what you're opinion on something like this is, if you don't mind sharing. And apologies for such a long ask!

Okay, see, what you're describing is fine. Because you're making use of tools for the sake of accessibility, which is something that more people-focused (can't say 'ethical' anymore because, let's face it, the IT industry is currently in shambles) companies have been trying to do: want to travel in a foreign country but don't have the funds to hire a translation companion or time to learn the language? A 1-to-1 translation app would be perfect!

For what you're describing to be an issue, you would have to either:

A: Take a bunch of the original artists' descriptions of their pieces, translate them, shove the descriptions into an AI software bank, and then try to publish the results as your own

Or B: Be looking at a piece of foreign source material, using a translator on it and other works by the author, then shoving those results into an AI software that scrapes text, and then posting the results on an online storefront like Kindle and saying 'Am totally legitimate author! Give moneys please!'

So, no: using translation software is nowhere near the same level of tomfuckery that people are rallying against when we talk about how AI Bros have turned something that could have been a viable tool into a cesspool of theft and illegitimacy.

Also... Aw. The first part of this ask really put a smile on my face, thank you.

[deandoesthingstome]

Hello! With only two chapters, Night Moves has become quite an anticipation for me, like i can't wait for next wednesday to read what comes next. First chapter was quite the introduction, very captivating, and the second is just so good. It made me feel like i'm watching a quality crime show, loving the complicity and the mess and all the suspense whether it's between characters or about the crime.

I must say tho, starting the chapter with the offender's pov is.. wow. We don't get to see that a lot. Idk if it's because the story's about crime against women, and how they're treated or viewed under specific circumstances, with adding the sick thoughts of the offender, i'm so invested in this story as it captured me from the very start. And while reading this chapter, it made me angry, like i was genuinely scowling at my screen. I want that bastard get what's coming for him. I felt the desperation, and Alex's concern not only for her friend but also towards another woman. I hope that makes sense. It also made me feel a little desperate, because we all see the news or hear the stories of other women, we all live with an awareness that no woman is truly safe and that we have to be on alert all the time.

Long story short (and sorry for my rambling), i don't see this like just another good story that i'll enjoy very much, it's also an important topic, and while we mostly come here for our beloved characters from certain fandoms, it's something special in my eyes. That effect may also has to do with your brilliant writing, the depth you've given to characters, and building a story cleverly.

So, i thank you very much for all the emotions you've made me feel, and the effort and time you've given to this exquisite story. I assure you, it's well appreciated, and i hope the inspiration fairies never stop seeing you. I can't wait for the next chapter, the story, and many others you'll be throwing our way ❤️✨💐

Hey there, Nonny. This was a very unexpected and thoughtful ask to wake up to this morning. I've had to sit with it a bit for a number of reasons. And I'll likely get just as wordy in my response so I'll cut it in a moment.

First of all, thank you so much! I'm really glad this story is resonating with you. I think this is every writer's hope: that a reader will connect in some way to the story, be it characters or plot or setting, whatever. And that the connection will spur a desire to read more. (More of my story, more of anyone's story. I just think it's important to want to read!)

And it's even more special when a reader takes the time to respond, reply, ask, inquire, gush, wax poetic, squeal in delight, you get the drift 😘

True story: my father was a crime story buff. He introduced me to the genre. I loved watching TV crime series with him. He once visited me and we tried to figure out where in my new hometown the opening scenes to one of his favorite shows were filmed. When he passed away, I found the unfinished bones of a manuscript he had started about a hard-boiled detective from his own hometown and era. All this to say, it's a little in my blood (no pun intended.)

But also, Night Hunter gave me so much to work with. To the crime theme of the story, the misogyny of the killer, I say it was an obvious choice. Walter Marshall hates violence against women and the men who perpetrate it. He thinks he hates all men, even himself, but I'm hoping to peel a little of that onion skin back. There's something more there, I just know.

Both chapters so far have actually begun with the killer's POV, though the first was just song lyrics. Not every chapter will begin with those thoughts, but they will likely show up in just about every installment in one way or another.

Also, I am a woman. I also hate violence against women. I hate how some women feel forced or pressured into uncomfortable situations, whether that be to make a living or the way men sometimes treat them. (And I realize this can sometimes be a two way street and sometimes it's woman on women or man on man violence. I hate it all, but my story is about a man hurting women.)

Again, I cannot thank you enough for commenting. I LOVE talking with other fans and I LOVE talking about my stories with anyone who cares to do so. I do hope you see this reply, Nonny, and come talk to me again. Off anon or privately if you want. I love knowing who my people are!

[pulisicsgirl]

20k words has my jaw on the floor 😨😨 But I’m so excited for this one!!!

Ughhh the way he was acting when she went over to his in the morning 😒 I can already tell this is going to be my least favorite version of Mason… you wrote the little, tiny infuriating details so well, like expecting her to cook him breakfast (even though he never actually asked her to) and then refusing to do the washing???? I’d have knocked him in the head 😒 But I also completely get that sense of loyalty (whether it may be misplaced or not is another question) because you’ve known someone for so long, and you kind of feel like ‘if I don’t look out for them, then who will?’

Side note: I don’t know if the puzzle cafe is already a thing, but if it’s not, I need it to be, and I need to go 🤭

The comments about her outfit?????? Oh I can already feel my blood boiling at him 😡😡

And then his “joke” about her not being able to find anyone when Olivia did so easily???? 😣😡 That’s honestly so awful of him. And her whole thought process after, when she was talking with Olivia makes my heart hurt for her 🥺 I feel like that’s something that soooo many people (myself included) feel, and it feels nice to be represented 🤭🤭

I was so happy when she finally got out of there and went with Olivia 🥺 Like little miss deserved to let her hair down and have a good time, so I’m so glad she was able to

But the way Mason acted the next morning???? Absolutely unreal 😣 Like you’ve written him so awful in this one, I don’t know how you’ll manage to bring it back around, but you always do 🙈

Ugh my heart is breaking for how broken she seems after Mason tore into her like that 🥺

I loveeeeeee Sandra!!!! More of Sandra pls 🤭

Okay this is such a small detail and maybe you didn’t even mean it as anything, but the fact that Mason offered to bring dinner over, instead of just expecting her to make/bring something???? Perhaps a sign of personal growth????

And the lil forehead kiss 🥺

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’ okay but like this is one of my favorite tropes, I love itttttttt 🤭

Okayyy to be fair to Mason it was a pretty good apology, but I’m gad she laid it all out there and held nothing back 🥺 Like I think he genuinely needed to hear all of that, no matter how much it hurt 🥺

‘…but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ ooh okay that was GOOD

Okay but the fastest way to my heart is offering to do mundane things with me like go shopping 🥺 And the JUICE AND PASTRY!!!!!! He seems so shy and unsure of himself in a way 🥹 He’s really giving it his all and doing his best 🥹

Her pulling him into the changing room??????? Hello?????? 😳 But I was giggling over how awkward he was being

His little speech to her in the dressing room 🥺 He’s being so lovely and sweet now and it’s giving me so many butterflies 🥺 Like he’s so concerned about the effect that his words had on her and wats to be sure that she doesn’t try to sell herself short for a dumb guy that doesn’t deserve her 🥺

The puzzle 🥺🥺 Such a thoughtful gift and then the quality time that comes with it 🤭

This dynamic between them where she keeps bringing up things he’s said about her in the past, like trying to do it in a joking way but you can tell it’s really stuck with her, and then he’s just feeling awful about the whole thing and you can tell he just feels such genuine remorse— it’s KILLING me!!!!!!!!

…but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change. GIRL THE HEART ATTACK THAT THIS GAVE ME BEFORE I REALIZED YOU EANT HE WAS GETTING SWEETER, I WAS LIKE NOT THIS AGAIN 🤦‍♀️

Again with the small details—HIM loading the dishwasher 🤭

The confession 🥺🥺🥺 He’s so unsure of himself now, and my heart hurts for him 🥺 But the night at the bar was so intense and intimate and it made me all giddy 🤭🤭

And him speaking to her when he thought she was asleep??????? Gosh I love him

The whole next morning when they were in bed had me giggling and kicking my feet!!!!! I loved it so much!!!

Loz this was soooooooo good!!!!! I’m genuinely so impressed at the length of this and how you managed to make every word of it good, like it never dragged one bit!!! This was the perfect friends-to-enemies(??)-to-friends-to-lovers fic 🤭🤭

You’re so amazing bestie

What I Need

Note - the longest fic I’ve ever written 😭 I’ve added a little ‘break’ halfway through so if you did want to stop and come back to read the rest later it’s easier to see where you’ve left off but if you want to read it all in one go feel free 🩷 thank you @carlottawllms for the initial request and I’m sorry it took so long to get to 😭 and thank you to all my besties for your help with this, I couldn’t do it without you 🩷 I know it’s long but feedback would be appreciated immensely and I promise to never write a fic this long again 😌

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 20.5k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Just once you thought you might be treated to a well deserved lie in this Saturday but unfortunately the universe had other plans for you, just like always.

Your phone had been vibrating for a few minutes on the nightstand and you knew it was someone trying to call you before a barrage of texts were sent your way. Letting them fly in before you picked your phone up to see who it was and what they wanted even though you knew exactly who it was and why they were pestering you at this ungodly hour.

You already make it feel like it’s not worth living you thought, but before you could think about anything else his photo flashed up on your screen as he tried to call you again and you begrudgingly hit accept before you were permanently etched into his bad books.

‘Hello?’

‘About bloody time y/n, what the hell have you been doing?’ He scolded you. His voice hushed but you could tell he wanted to shout at you for not picking up and you rolled your eyes at his stupid attitude that you didn’t need this time of the morning.

‘Sleeping, Mason. You know what probably most of the uk population is doing right now since it’s stupid o’clock on a bloody Saturday’

‘Well I don’t give a shit, I need you. How fast do you think you can get here?’

‘I don’t know, Mase-‘ you started, not ready to leave the comfort of your bed just yet but he was cutting you off as soon as he realised what you were about to say.

‘No, y/n don’t do this. Did you not see my message? Code red yeah, that means I need you here now’

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad, you big girls blouse’

‘She’s offering to make me breakfast. Pancakes if you please’ he told you, his voice an octave higher as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying to you and you had to hold in a giggle at how ridiculous he sounded.

‘You love pancakes’

‘No I love your pancakes, there's a difference. I don’t know what she puts in hers she could drug me for all I know. Or make the whole wheat ones like a maniac’

‘I mean it’s hard to fuck up pancakes im sure they’re-‘

‘Can we forget about the bloody pancakes, how long till you’re here?’ He demanded, but you were already up and pulling a hoodie on before stuffing yourself into your shoes.

‘I’ll be five minutes’ you sighed, grabbing your keys and walking out the door as Mason repeatedly told you to hurry up until you had to hang up as you began to drive.

How it became the routine of you bailing him out of these situations was a long story.

Mason had been your best friend since you were little. Your dad being one of his first football coaches and even though you went to separate primary schools you still saw him most weekends when you helped out and sometimes joined in with the games. Mason teaching you how to kick the ball properly and you knew when you scored your first goal he let you win.

You eventually stopped going to practice, not seeing Mason at all for a year or so until you both wound up going to the same secondary school and it’s like you picked up where you left off.

You watched each other grow from awkward little teenagers to full grown adults and as much as you tried to keep your friendship the same you knew it would never be normal.

You went the usual route; college, uni, big office job in a fancy company while Mason lived his dreams and changed right before your eyes. Subtle changes that came over time meaning you never really caught onto them but the shy polite boy you once knew was gone.

He was cocky and sure of himself. Cheeky in a way that all the girls loved and he used it to his advantage to get exactly what he wanted. You weren’t blind, you know he was handsome but the way he threw his money and looks about just to get into some poor girls knickers made you sick sometimes but you stuck by him through it all. Feeling like you were the only person who had his best interest at heart most of the time.

Mason didn’t have friends, he had yes men. People to tell him he looked good and that it didn’t matter what he did or what he said to people because they’d clear it up for him afterwards. Leaving his picture perfect image intact so the world still thought he was a good boy even though he was anything but.

You didn’t know when, but you too had fallen into that category. Running around after him like he was a toddler that had just learned to walk, trying to protect him from crashing into things he shouldn’t be and picking up all of his mess after him for little to no thanks. You didn’t even know why you did it at this point. A sense of loyalty maybe? Or wanting to keep him away from certain people that you knew only used him. You knew he was a grown man at the end of the day and he was old enough to look after himself but still you carried on.

Even the routine of helping him kick girls out of his house was a mystery to you. The first time was a mistake when you’d turned up heartbroken on his doorstep after a failed exam and the girl he’d managed to score that night made a swift exit much to his satisfaction. Telling you he’d been trying to get rid of her for an hour but she wouldn’t budge and you were the perfect solution.

When he called you up and asked if you could do something similar for him the next week you refused at first. Thinking it was weird and you were worried about the girls feelings but he wore you down like he always did until the next thing you knew you were fake crying on his door mat as he ushered a pretty blonde girl out the door with the fake promise of calling her back later that day.

You must have helped him throw at least 30 girls out now. A catalogue of excuses at your disposal and even though you knew it was weird, it had merged itself in as just another part of your friendship and soon enough you were pulling onto his drive and housing yourself out of your car.

You rang the doorbell to make it look more realistic, the door opening a few moments later to Mason who looked more than relieved to see you and you quickly made your way inside to start the act.

‘What do you want? Dead relative, dog or something worse?’ You asked him, pinching your cheeks so they looked pinker before squirming yourself in the eyes with your water bottle. You’d tried and tested the lot but the sports cap you found was the best at making it look like actual tears.

‘Dogs fine, she’s been yapping on about hers all morning and showing me pictures so-‘

‘You’re so cruel, Mason’ you remarked, hoping to make him feel a little bit bad about what he was doing but you knew it was all in vain. He never did.

‘Just start crying before I make you, yeah?’ He laughed so you took the opportunity to get him back and wailed out the loudest fake cry you could muster right in his ear. The sound making him jump before he bounded you into his arms so you could cry into his neck and before you knew it, the sound of a very concerned but sweet sounding woman could be heard in the hallway.

‘Mason? Is everything okay?’

‘No really no’ he told her, the fake worry in his voice making you roll your eyes but you carried on sniffling to help him out. ‘This is my best friend and she’s had some awful news this morning’ he told her, walking you towards the living room so he could sit you on the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry to do this, her dogs just died and she needs me’

‘Oh my god’

‘Yeah she’s really not in a good way’ he confirmed, pulling you in closer and your cries went up in volume and you felt him pinch your side gently as if to tell you to tone it down.

‘Well can I help at all?’ She offered and you actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed too sweet and you wondered how Mason had got his grubby little claws into her but you’d seen him on nights out and knew how he trapped women under his spell. You were just thankful that you were immune to his powers as if someone treated you like this you’d swing for them.

‘I think it’s best I just stay with her for now, but I’ll text you yeah? I’ve got your number saved?’

‘Oh, yeah okay then’ she uttered before the pair of them fled upstairs to get her things and within a few minutes he was with her at the door. Hearing the talk in hushed tones before he shut the door behind her but you let your cries continue.

‘Alright you can stop that now, sound makes my brain ache’ he groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa next to you and you laughed as you unhid your face from the cushion.

‘You’re welcome, by the way’ you told him. Bumping your shoulder into his as you sat up but he just rolled his eyes. You knew he was thankful even if he didn’t say it exactly but it would be nice to hear it sometime.

‘You fancy some breakfast? I’m in the mood for pancakes’ he winked but you just rolled your eyes at him. Pancakes sounded good to you too but you knew you’d be stuck making them.

‘Where’s Ace? He’s the only reason I’m here’ you asked, deflecting his question as you knew what he was asking and by the look he was giving you he wasn’t too happy about it.

‘Charming’ he scoffed before whistling and the sound of bounding paws made you smile until Ace was running in and jumping into your lap.

‘Hi baby’ you cooed, scratching over his head and trying to avoid the face licks he was sending your way but Mason was just looking at you like he was waiting for something.

‘So… what’s happening with the pancakes?’

‘Ace, your daddy is a very silly man, did you know that?’ You babbled but you could tell Mason was offended with what you’d said.

‘Don’t turn my son against me’

‘Do you want some pancakes, acey? Mumma will make you some’ you babbled too him, knowing there was no way for him to answer but from the look on his face you could that’s what he wanted.

‘Since when are you his mum’ Mason commented, trying to reach over to pet him but you wouldn’t let him. Jumping up so Ace could follow you and he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Since I’m one of the only stable females in his life, okay? Don’t confuse him now’

You left Mason in the living room so you could make some pancakes. Your own belly rubbing as you hadn’t had a chance to think about breakfast this morning but thankfully he had everything in and as soon as he smelt them you heard him walking in to grab some.

‘Why are you making little ones?’ He questioned, grabbing some juice from the fridge and a couple of glasses.

‘They’re for ace’ you shrugged. Plating them up in his little doggy bowl and letting him tuck in before sorting yours and Masons out.

‘So he gets preferential treatment’

‘Do you ever have a day off?’ You muttered, wanting him to just give things a rest for five minutes but you could tell by his laugh he wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon.

‘Shut up, you love me’ he teased, poking you in the sides as he grabbed his plate and the feel of it angered you. He knew you hated being poked and prodded but he just carried on as he loved getting under your skin.

‘Not when you’re like this I don’t’ you sighed and even though you were half joking you had realised over the last few times you’d hung out that being around him was a chore sometimes. His usual playful comments had more venum behind them and now you couldn’t actually work out if he still liked you or not. Being around him never felt as good as it used to but whenever you got upset about it he’d tell you he was playing so you tried to think nothing more of it. Wondering if you were just hormonal or had forgotten how to take a joke.

Halfway through breakfast your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. His eyes looking at you pleadingly as if he wanted you to go and get it but you remained firm and stared back at him.

‘Please, y/n. If it’s her she’ll have me talking for another half an hour. Just make her go away please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, getting up and storming to the door and you knew he was smiling from where he sat behind you. ‘I’m not doing the washing up though’

‘Hey, you make the mess you tidy it away’

‘Oh get lost’ you muttered under your breath, opening the door to what you expected to me the girl from earlier but thankfully it was just an Amazon delivery guy and you took the parcel with a smile before bidding him goodbye. ‘Mase? Its just an Amazon parcel you’re safe’

‘Ah amazing, can you open it for me? Should be just a charging cable’ he nodded as he stacked your plates and took them to the dishwasher, leaving you on your own to tear the box open but once you were in you wanted to vanish into thin air.

What you weren’t expecting was the red box that was sitting under the packing paper. The words thin feel jumping out at you first and you groaned loudly as he walked back over to you with a confused expression.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re gross, I swear to god. Why did you make me open this?’ You huffed as you threw the box of condoms his way and he caught it with one hand before looking down with a smile.

‘Ah i forgot about these, got the ribbed ones this time to see if they make a difference’ he winked but you just made fake gagging noises as you walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where he followed you in shortly after. Thankfully hiding the box out of sight from you.

‘What you doing next Friday? It’s Woody’s birthday so we’re going out and he asked me to ask if you wanna come’ he suddenly piped up with as you turned the tv on and the question took you by surprise.

‘Why didn’t he ask me himself?’

‘Cause he thinks you’re scary’ he winked ‘I’m kidding, he was pretty out of it last night when we made plans and he knew I’d probably see this morning’

‘So now it’s just standard that I kick the girls out your house for you? And all your friends know about it’

‘Pretty much. I’ve given you excellent reviews so if you get calls for similar from the others you can thank me later’ he teased but you weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore. Huffing as you relaxed back into the sofa but he was soon poking your leg with his finger. ‘You coming next week or what? We’ve got a section booked so there won’t hundreds of people and you don’t know I’ll pay for you’

‘I’m not worried about paying, Mase’ you told him even though in the back of your mind you were a little bit. Mason like to go to the most expensive places and drink the most expensive things and you couldnt keep up with him half the time so the offer of him playing always settled your nerves when it was nights out like this. ‘Can I bring Olivia?’

‘Who’s Olivia?’

‘That new girl from work I was telling you about the other day? The one that’s just moved here and doesn't know anyone’ you told him before realising he probably hadn’t been listening the whole time you were talking about her before.

‘Is she hot?’

‘Mason-‘

‘Im kidding, I’m kidding, You can bring the pope for all I care’ he shrugged but you knew even if you asked him not to go near her he still would.

‘Mason I'm serious, I don’t want you anywhere near her okay? you’ll make things awkward at work and she wouldn’t touch you with with a barge pole anyway’

‘Wow y/n, I’m bruised’ he told you, hand on his heart to make it look like he was hurt but you could tell from the tone of his voice he didn’t care.

‘She’s got something going on with someone at work and if you ruin it I’ll kill you’ you threatened but he just held his hands up in mock surrender. ‘Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usual’ he told you. Reeling off some names you knew plus a few guys you don’t know and you knew what that meant. Mason wanted to try and set you up with someone he knew and even though you appreciate the sentiment you couldn’t think of anything worse.

At this point you thought he just felt sorry for you and was trying his hardest to find you anyone. You’d never had a boyfriend, never been in a real relationship or even been on that many dates. Any you did happen to go on always ended in the same way with that same awful message. I see you more as a friend than a girlfriend but I’d love to stay in touch and you didn’t know what was wrong with you. Even though Mason sometimes tried to help, you didn’t want to attract boys like him and his friends so any new boy he was suggesting you almost always never gave a proper chance.

‘I was thinking maybe I could put some feelers out? You know put a good word in with a few of the lads and see if any are interested-‘

‘I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than date one of your friends’ you told him, looking up to his horrified face and just like usual you kept poking the bear. ‘I only hang out with you cause you’re practically my brother, but the ones that choose to be your friends? I have serious questions for them’

‘And yet here you are, spending your morning with me. The main culprit’

‘Not for much longer, I’m meeting the guys at level up for lunch’ you smiled and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at you.

‘So you used me for my flour and eggs, that’s what I’m getting from this’

‘I wouldn’t even be here if you could just keep it in your pants for five seconds’ you reminded him, giving Ace a quick scratch between the ears before you stood up so you could get going but Mason being Mason had to get a few more digs in.

‘Oh whatever you big dork. Go play with your silly little puzzles then while I fend for myself’

Level Up was a gaming cafe in town and you met up with some friends from uni once a month to catch up and play some games but you mostly went there for the puzzles. There was something you loved about starting with a big pile of nothing and ending with something beautiful. It calmed you but almost made your brain feel alive at the same time so it was worth the teasing from Mason's end even if he did think it made you really uncool.

‘Whatever, Mase’ you mumbled, gathering your stuff up and making your way to the door before he could say anything else to upset you but you already felt like he’d ruined your day.

You managed to forget about him by the time you’d made it to Level Up. Catching up with your friends from uni, forgetting all that had happened that morning and getting lost in what you loved before making your way back home in the early afternoon. Feeling a lot better about yourself than you had that morning.

Your week at work flew by and soon enough it was Friday and you were at your flat with Olivia getting ready for your night out. Thankfully she’s said yes to coming and it had given you something to bond over that week. She too had moved to Manchester from down south after uni and was finding the transition a bit strange so you’d taken her under your wing in hopes you could make some more friends around here besides Mason. As much as you loved him you couldn’t stand to be around him for long periods of time anymore and wanted someone else to hang out with who didn’t make you feel so awful about yourself.

Once the pair of you were ready you set out for a cocktail bar first. Getting a few fancy pre drinks in whilst you chatted over some office gossip and just as you were leaving you posted a few stories to instagram. Seeing straight away that Mason had viewed them and almost as if by magic he was calling you.

‘Is that really what you’re wearing?’ He asked, the question making your heart drop as you looked down at your out outfit. Admittedly it was your usual but you wanted to be a bit comfortable and it was an outfit you’d always felt good in. His comments deflating you immediately and you felt like turning around and going home.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ You asked in a small voice. Wrapping your jacket around you a little bit further and Olivia looked at you with curious eyes but you just gave her a reassuring smile and carried on listening to Mason.

‘I mean it’s fine but like… well that’s it. It’s fine’ he admitted causing you to gulp back the frog in your throat so you didn’t burst into tears. ‘Look I’m trying my hardest here to help you get some but you need to start showing a bit of skin. Like if I’m interested in a girl I wanna see a bit more yeah? You need to advertise what you’ve got on offer or you’ll never get any business.’

‘I’m not looking for business and I certainly don’t want to look like someone you’re interested in’ you hit back, trying to make him hurt a little bit but you knew it was useless. Your comments were like water off a ducks back to him. ‘When I find the right guy he’ll love how I dress’

‘I’m a guy, y/n. We’re all the same’

‘Yeah well I’ve just about had enough of you tonight. I think I’d rather join a nunnery at this point’ you huffed, feeling Olivia tug on your arm as you made it to the door of the club. ‘Were just outside I’ll see you in a sec’

‘Your names on the door, they should just let you through’ he confirmed and once you’d said goodbye you were let in by the doorman who led you over to your section. meeting Mason's eyes almost immediately but his were soon on Olivia and you knew it was about to be a long night. ‘You gonna introduce me then?’

‘Hi to you too’ you quipped, watching him roll his eyes as he pulled you into his side for a quick hug but it was over before you knew it as his eyes settled on Olivia’s legs. ‘Mason this is Olivia, Olivia this is Mason’

‘Hi Olivia, y/n’s told me a lot about you’ he smiled and you knew that smile anywhere. He was about to flirt his little bum off even after you’d told him not too. ‘It's nice to finally meet you’

‘You too, thanks for letting me come’ she smiled sweetly, trying to be polite but you’d already warned her about Mason and his antics and you were hoping she could see right through him.

‘Oh you’re invited anytime’ he winked. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Oh um… yeah sure, y/n-‘

‘’It’s alright I know her order off by heart’ he winked before nodding her over to the bar where she followed him after giving you a quick wave.

You took this time to go and say happy birthday to Woody, one of Mason's friends you actually liked as he’d been around almost as long as you had but just like you had fallen into the trap of letting him get away with things he probably shouldn’t.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked, noticing your disgruntled expression fairly quickly but you just sighed before rubbing your head.

‘I explicitly told Mason not to flirt with her but he’s all over her, I can't stand that boy sometimes’ you huffed, motioning over to where he was standing with Olivia. His hand on her back and his eyes on her chest and you heard Woody sigh next to you.

‘You know what he’s like, sees a pair of boobs and forgets all logic’ he tried to joke but you weren’t in the mood.

You could see Olivia looking for you, your eyes meeting after a few seconds where she gave you the ‘help me’ look and you made your way straight over to get her. Gripping Mason's shoulder as you popped yourself in between them and even though you weren’t looking at him you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

‘Thanks for the drink Mase, we’re gonna go have a dance’ you interrupted, not missing the way he rolled his eyes at you as he tried to speak again but you’d already pulled Olivia away and onto the dance floor where you were both giggling as you got lost in the crowd.

‘Corr he’s a right flirt, you weren’t joking we’re you’

‘Honestly he should come with a warning label’ you groaned. ‘I’m really sorry, I did tell him to keep it in his pants’

‘Don’t worry about it, it’s quite flattering’ she giggled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. ‘Let’s just keep it between us, by the looks of things he’s already moved on’ she told you and once you looked around you could see him chatting up some other girl and you decided to leave him to it. Rolling your eyes before you and Olivia got lost in the crowd and danced your little socks off.

When Olivia needed the loo, you let her know you’d go and get the pair of you some more drinks and once at the bar you were ambushed by the man you’d been trying to avoid for the last hour.

‘Thanks for that earlier, you jumped in at the wrong time just as usual’ Mason exclaimed but you just turned to smile at him sweetly and the action caught him off guard.

‘No thank you, for completely ignoring me when I asked you not to flirt with her as she’s seeing someone and I didn’t want to make things awkward at work’ you reminded him but you noticed how he shut his eyes before looking back at you with a smirk and you knew he was about to get nasty.

‘So let me get this straight, Olivia’s been working with you for what, three weeks?’ He commented and his comment surprised you as you didn’t think he’d been listening to you that well whenever you spoke about her but clearly he had.

‘Just about, yeah’

‘And she’s already seeing someone?’

‘I mean it’s not official but-‘

‘So she can find someone… but you’ve been there years and-‘

‘Oh get fucked Mase’ you spat, your blood boiling at what he was trying to say and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drinks that had just been placed infront of you in his face. Mason had just put them on his tab though and you didn’t want to have to pay for your own so you just balled your fists up and tried to let it wash over you. ‘Are you getting a kick out of being an arsehole to me tonight or something?’

‘I’m just pointing out-‘

‘Well don’t, keep your big nose out of my business’ you told him, cutting him off mid sentence but you knew your comments hadn’t hurt him. Nothing ever did.

‘Low blow, y/n. Low blow. You’re lucky I’m not self conscious about it as I know it comes in handy’ he teased. Licking his lips to insinuate something sexual and you felt the disgust roll through you. ‘Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve barely spoken all night’

‘No, I don’t want to’

‘Hey, don’t be like that’ he frowned, but you were done talking to him tonight and you’d have been quite happy to have a few days' break from him after tonight’s interactions.

‘I’m not being like anything’ you huffed, seeing Olivia coming back out from the loo and you used this as your opportunity to get away from him. ‘Olivia’s back, I need to go’ you told him but you didn’t wait for a reaction. Picking up your drinks and making your way over to her but you weren’t in the mood to be happy anymore.

You found a quiet corner with Olivia so you could sit and bitch for a bit, mostly about Mason but you moved onto the topic of people you didn’t like at work until she opened up about Joe from the IT department who she’d got the eyes for. Apparently they’d hit it off from the first day when he handed her her laptop and she’d been falling for him ever since. Sometimes making up issues and submitting tickets for non-existent problems so they could talk and even though you thought it was cute and you were happy for her, Mason's words from before were playing in your mind.

Why did things like this never happen to you? Why could everyone else find someone but you were forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be picked. You were used to it now and you told yourself you were over it but there were moments like now when it stung and you didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

If truth be told you didn’t want to even be in this club anymore and when Olivia had to make a call you used the time to your advantage to try and find Mason to let him know you were going. Not that it would have made much difference to him as you’d barely spoken all night but when you made your way back to your section you knew something was off.

‘What’s everyone laughing at?’ You asked as you approached Woody and a few of the other boys. Woody's appearing awkward but you could see all the other boys were loving whatever was happening. ‘Where’s Mason?’

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’ one of the guys laughed but you were just confused as to what was happening.

‘What?’ You asked, turning towards Woody in hopes he’d give you a bit more of an answer but you could tell he didn’t want to. An embarrassed and guilty look on his face as you raised your brows at him until he eventually spoke.

‘He’s um, he’s in the loo’ Woody gulped but you didn’t understand what the issue was.

‘Okay?’

‘He’s not alone in there’ he whispered and the realisation hit you like a truck.

‘You’re joking? Please tell me you’re joking’ you whispered back, eyes flying around the room to see if anyone else had caught on but thankfully it was just his little gaggle of yes men that were in on it.

‘Well he didn’t exactly hide it’ Woody told you but before you could say anything else there was movement from the corner of your eye and you could see he was emerging from the disabled loo with a stupid smirk on his face and you felt sick to your stomach.

The boys were laughing louder immediately but all you felt was embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was your friend and he thought this was okay, embarrassed for whatever poor girl he’d taken in there and embarrassed that clearly everyone knew what was going on and he was just fine with it.

You watched him talk to security before coming back over to your section. The boys slapping his back before he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you just shrugged him off as soon as he touched you. Not even bothering to look up at his disgruntled face as your eyes were trained on the where he’d just come from and before long the girl emerged.

You watched her walk over to the man Mason had just spoken to, Mason clearly telling her he’d put her name in the list for your section but you doubt he even knew her name in the first place and you felt awful as she looked around for Mason to let her in. You were on the edge of marching over there yourself and telling them to let her through but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene so you just turned to Mason who was looking at you with an amused grin.

‘Seriously, Mason? I know you clearly don’t give a shit but that’s such an awful thing to do’

‘Oh stop getting your knickers in a twist, it’s not like I fucked her’ he told you matter of factly an you gasped at the way he’d just spoken to you.

‘What?’

‘I mean I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she took very good care of me’

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t wanna know that’ you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to block him out but he kept laughing at you like he found the whole thing hilarious.

‘Oh y/n don’t be such a grump’ he laughed. ‘Maybe you should think about getting yourself a bit, hopefully they might be able to pull that stick out your arse’

Mason words cut you deep, and you knew he’d only said it as he was playing on your biggest insecurity but that made it worse somehow. You’d opened up to Mason a few times about how unlucky in love you felt you were, how you never seemed to grab anyone’s attention. You knew he tried to help on nights out sometimes but nothing ever worked and you weren’t as on board with one night stands as Mason so clearly was. You were the definition of a wallflower and as much as you knew you had a lot of love to give the right person you grew more worried day by day that it would never be a reality for you.

You knew your face had dropped, Mason’s too once he’d realised what he’d said and that he’d taken it too far but you refused to show how upset you were, not just by what he’d said but everything that had happened tonight.

‘You’re a right dick sometimes’ you told him quietly, picking your bag up and storming out. You could hear the faint sound of him scoffing behind you but you didn’t have the energy to turn around and berate him anymore. Your eyes already stinging and the sadness rippled over you but you held it together so you could get out the door and sort yourself an Uber out.

You wondered if he might have followed you outside to come and apologise right away but you knew that would never happen. As long as Mason was happy in Mason land he didn’t care what he did or said to anyone else and even though you thought you might have been the exception, that clearly wasn’t the case anymore.

‘Y/n? What are you doing out here?’ You heard, Turing to see Olivia walking over to you with a concerned expression but you just blinked the tears away and gave her a half hearted smile.

‘Just getting some air’ you smiled. ‘Listen, I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t realise he was gonna be such an arse’ you apologised but you could see from her face it was all fine and she didn't care.

‘It’s not your fault, yeah? You’re not responsible for him’ she told you and you felt lighter at her words until she gave you a look you couldn't quite place. ‘But please don’t hate me, I’ve just been on the phone to Joe and he’s invited me over. You don’t mind if I go, do you?’ She asked and even though it stung slightly you couldn't blame her. Not when you were on your way home too now.

‘Of course not, don't be silly’ you reassured her, thinking that might be the end of it but the sympathetic smile she gave you made you feel worse somehow.

‘Are you going back in?’

‘I think I might just head home, I’ve had enough of him tonight’ you joked but she knew she could tell there was an air of truth behind it.

‘Don’t let him ruin your night, why don’t you come with me?’ She offered but you just looked back at her in confusion.

‘What? To hang out with you and Joe? I don’t think he’ll be too happy with that’

‘Oh no he’s at a party at his friends house not too far from here, there’s a load of people there and a few from work so you’ll know a load of them’ she explained and the idea of it being more than just the two of them sweetened the deal a bit.

‘I don’t know’

‘Pleeeeeeease. Don’t let that horrible boy upset you, plus I’m not done hanging out with you yet. Mason aside I’ve had fun tonight’ she pouted and you felt your resolve slipping. ‘Come on, I’ll pay for the Uber and everything’

‘Okay fine’ you laughed. Jumping into the car with her when it turned up and you were only ten minutes into being there once you realised what a good choice you’d made. You never hung out with your colleagues outside of work but you had a lot of fun and even made some new friends. The whole experience teaching you that there was more to life than Mason and you made a promise to yourself to take a step back from him for your own sake.

You made it home at around 3am in a taxi with a friend of Joes who’d promised to get you home safely. You’d been talking for most of the night and it was a complete 180 from being with Mason. He made you feel important and heard and when he kissed you cheek at your front door you felt your knees wobble. You blamed it on the drink and being so touch starved but once your were inside you realised how much of a good time you’d had without Mason once more.

The constant fear of what he was going to say or do next, the need to clean up his mess that inevitably always came and the growing embarrassment that came from being around him was getting you down. All you could think about was a break from him and If truth be told you needed a break from everything at this point so made a mental note to book some time off of work for a little break now the weather was getting nicer to go and see your auntie in Spain as a little something to look forward too.

You’d seen Mason had text you a few hours ago. Wondering where you’d gone and to text him back but you left it. Not wanting to talk to him right now so you got undressed and got into bed so you could wait for the inevitable hangover in the morning.

It was 8am when you woke up and knew your phone was going off every few minutes but you ignored it, not in the mood for whoever it was and when you hadn’t received a text for a while you had a quick Look I see they were all from Mason.

You didn’t believe his empty threats, ignoring everything he’d written and rolling over onto your other side so you could get back to sleep and thankfully it came easily as you were still so exhausted. He could work things out for himself for one morning surely?

You were expecting your head to be pounding when you next woke up, but you’d never felt it like this before. Never heard it in your ears so intensely or heard your name being called over and over until you realised it wasn’t what you thought and when you recognised Mason's voice you groaned into your pillow.

‘Y/n! Are you in there?’ You heard him call. Hoping you could just ignore him and he’d go away but Mason being Mason didn’t let up. ‘Right I’ve not heard or seen you since last night, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing so I’m calling the police’

‘Oh fuck off’ you huffed, storming out of bed in just your underwear and a tiny T-shirt so you could tell him off, watching Masons head snap up when you opened the door and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed all over you.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ You spat, pulling him inside and slamming the door shut before turning to face him with a furious glare. He was looking straight back at you the same way though and you’d never seen him so mad in all the years you’d known him.

‘Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?’

‘Are you being serious right now?

‘Completely. And can you go and get dressed you freaking me out’ he remarked but you just placed your hands on your hips and made him look at you.

‘No I can’t’ you told him and you knew he wasn't comfortable with you standing there in next to nothing so you used it to your advantage. ‘You were awful to me last night Mason, I mean you’ve not been nice for a while but last night tipped me over the edge’

‘What did I do?’

‘What didn’t you do!’ You exploded, seeing him visibly jump as he wasn’t expecting it but you just kept going, releasing all the pent up aggression and anger he’d made you feel lately and you could feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. ‘You’re so rude about me, about the way I dress and just how I am. I told you specifically not to go near Olivia and you did. Not to mention that poor girl you used in the toilet, I take it she wasn’t the same girl you took home last?’

‘Well no but-‘

‘I just, I don’t like what you’re turning into and I’m not gonna sit by and watch it happen anymore so if you still want me around you need to fix up and fix up fast’

‘You can’t tell me what to do’ he scoffed, the playfulness he usually spoke at you with now completely vanished and you had a feeling deep in your tummy that this wasn’t going to end well yet you carried on.

‘Well if you carry on like this then I’m out Mason. I don’t wanna surround myself with you and the people you hang out with anymore’

‘Oh you thought… oh that’s hilarious’ he laughed, clutching his tummy like you’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. ‘You actually think I care if you don't wanna talk to me anymore? That I’d care if I upset you? You really think telling me that is gonna make me change? Get real y/n, we’re not 13 anymore’

‘What?’ you breathed, his words feeling like a punch in the gut as he stared down at you and as much as you were trying to be the bigger person in this and make him see how awful he was being, you felt awfully small.

‘Well let’s face it, it’s not like we’re even from the same universe at this point and everything I do you take the wrong way’ he told you and you could feel yourself shrinking as he turned the tables. Bracing yourself to feel his full wrath as you knew he didn’t like being told off ‘You’re so uptight, y/n and is it any wonder why?’

‘You don’t have to get so personal all the time’

‘But you’re allowed to? You’re allowed to have a go at me cause I fuck around a bit and actually enjoy my life rather than play kids games and and make out I’m holier than thou? Just cause no one’s ever found you attractive doesn’t mean anyone else isn’t allowed any fun’

You never thought he could be this mean. His words from last night paled into comparison from what he was saying now and you unconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself as he tore you to shreds.

‘You know I tried to be a good friend, I tried my hardest to find you someone but you throw it back in my face everytime. Not that I think it would have mattered anyway cause they all tell me you’re too stuck up for your own good. No ones ever gonna want you y/n, cause you make it fucking impossible’

‘I've never been good enough for you have I?’ You whispered, watching the muscle in his jaw flex as a single tear rolled down your cheek, but his face remained hard as you tried to let him know how you felt no matter how heartbroken you were. ‘You know I always thought it was a bit of fun and teasing, you calling me a nerd or whatever but actually don’t like me, do you? But I’m good enough when you need me, I’m good enough to come over and kick out whatever girl you need kicking out. Good enough to cook for you and get you everything you need’ ’

‘Oh fuck off, y/n’ he spat, looking away from you and trying to make his way to the door. ‘You think I need you that much? Have a laugh, I only kept you around cause you came in handy sometimes’ he laughed, trying his hardest to hurt you and even though it was working you could see in his eyes he didn’t mean it. ‘People leave me all the time, why should I give a shit if you do too?’

‘Mase-‘

‘Nah it’s fine, I’ll go. Sorry for giving a shit about you, I know not to do that again. Don’t worry I won’t be back’

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was being defensive because you were upset with him and he wanted to make you feel bad too. You knew he could be mean but never like this and when he slammed your door in your face you stood there for a few moments just taking it all in. Replaying all the awful things he’d said to you before walking like a zombie back to bed and hiding under the covers so you could let a few tears out but not many came. Too in shock at hurt about what he’d said to form any real emotions but as the days went on you felt worse and worse about yourself.

Three weeks went by and you didn’t hear a peep from him. Wondering if maybe you should message him first but after a day you realised he was the one that messed up and you didn’t want to be running after him. He’d completely disappeared from online and you’d even had a cheeky look on some of his update accounts to see if he’d been spotted anywhere but it was just the usual training pictures and nothing more.

It was difficult, getting angrier as the days went by before sadness took its place. He was your best friend and had been for years but you hated everything he’d become and you weren't about to push your boundaries to accommodate him anymore. Not after all the awful things he’d said to you either that wouldn’t stop plaguing your mind.

You’d never felt as ugly as you did right now. His words had hit home as it was things you’d always thought about yourself but to hear them actually vocalised from the person who you thought you meant a lot to stung in a way nothing else ever had. Realising maybe you would be on your own for a long time as there clearly was something wrong with you and as the days passed the harder you cried.

Cried for the friendship you once had, cried for the words he’d spat in your face and cried for how awful you felt about yourself and how lonely you were night after night as you rarely spoke to anyone in fear of your emotions taking over now.

You tried to let it go, carrying on as normal but you could tell Olivia knew something was up. Letting you know she was there for you when you needed but for now you just wanted to wallow a little.

You were sat at home getting lost in a new true crime documentary when you felt your phone ring. Glancing down to see Mason's picture filling up your screen and you instantly froze. Too panicked to answer as you didn’t know what you’d say to him right now so you just stared down at the screen until the call ended. Anxious to see if he would call you back at all but he didn’t and you presumed it was a mistake until the next day when a text came through from him on your lunch break.

What did he want?

You presumed it was to apologise but at this point you didn’t want to hear it. He’d done and said enough and you were still getting over most of it so to have him back in your life seemed counter intuitive.

So you left him on read and forgot about him. Spending your lunch break with Olivia and Joe but by the time you were back at your desk he was all you could think about. His text had left a weird feeling in your tummy and you felt a little bad about knowing he wanted to presumably apologise but you wouldn't let him but what you’d said was true. You really weren’t ready just yet.

Sandra was a person you considered your work mum. A slightly older woman who worked on reception and was the smiling face that always greeted you every morning but she was also the woman you went to for advice and to have a moan to. She’s never judged you or told you what to do but it was nice getting an opinion from someone so wise so knowing you were going to see her filled you with a calmness you hadn’t felt in a while.

‘They’ve not got your favourite left, but I got you a kitkat’ you smiled as you approached the reception desk, noticing Sandra was looking back at you with an awkward smile that confused you until you looked to your left and were met with the brown eyed boy you’d been avoiding. ‘Mason? How did you even get in here?’

‘I let him in’ Sandra smiled, looking over at Mason with a wink and you could see him send her an appreciative smile as he made his way closer to you. Only then clicking the giant bunch of pink and white tulips in his arms and your chest felt tight at the sight of them.

‘You shouldn’t have done that’ you told her lowly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear but Sandra had other ideas and brought him into the conversation.

‘Oh come on y/n, how can you say no to that face’ she pouted, tilting her head over to him and once you looked back at Mason his usual cheeky smile adorned his lips as he playfully batted his eyelashes at you. ‘You need to talk to him anyway’

‘No I don’t, what’s he told you?’ you argued back. You purposefully hadn't told Sandra anything about what was going on with Mason as you were embarrassed and wanted to deal with it on your own but you should have known she’d find out eventually. Mothers always do.

‘That you won’t talk to him and that he wants to tell you how sorry he is’

‘Well he can tell me that himself’ you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest before you heard him not so subtly coughing. Looking up to find him glancing between the pair of you like he was reminding you he was still there.

‘I would if you gave me a chance’ he laughed before shyly nodding over to the sofa where guests usually waited. Silently asking you to come with him so you could talk a bit more privately and you reluctantly walked over after a beat. Watching Mason pluck a flower from the bouquet in his arms to give to Sandra as a thank you and you almost cracked a smile at how she blushed when she took it. The pair of them whispering a little before he turned to face you and he walked over like a naughty school boy.

‘Do we have to do this now?’ You asked. Not wanting to have this conversation with him here and now but since you’d been avoiding him you hadn’t given him many other options and you could tell from the way he was looking at you he was determined to speak with you.

‘Yes, we do. You’re ignoring me and left me no choice’

‘Can you just be quick?’ You asked, not wanting to air your dirty laundry in the reception where Sandra could quite easily hear everything and even though you felt bad he’d put the effort in to come and see you, you were practically turning him away.

‘Y/n-

‘Please, Mase. I’m at work’

‘Fine, I’ll go’ he huffed and the heartbroken look on his face made your tummy churn. ‘Only if you agree I can come over later and apologise properly’ he told you but you didn’t agree straight away and you could see he was getting desperate. ‘Y/n please’

‘Okay fine’ you sighed, nodding your head as you knew it would have to be done sooner or later and since he was making the effort you thought you should cut him some slack. His face softened immediately before his eyes fell to the flowers in his hands that he passed to you in with a shy smile

‘These are for you, your favourite’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, taking them carefully and you knew your face was turning red as you held them to your chest. This was the first bunch of flowers anyone had ever bought you and you could feel your eyes welling up at the fact he’d remembered your favourite ones.

‘Well it’s the least you deserve’ he nodded but you didn’t know what to say to him, standing there awkwardly until he coughed. ‘What time will you be home?’

‘Around six’

‘Okay well, maybe I could bring us some food over and we’ll talk’

‘Okay’ you whispered, nodding gently before looking down as you were so overwhelmed with emotions.

He didn’t say anything after that, just touched your arm and planted a quick kiss on your forehead before walking back over to Sandra so he could sign out of the visors book. His action confused you as he never showed you signs of affection aside from the occasional hug so the kiss only made you blush even more. Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before eventually joining them at the desk.

‘Leaving so soon? Sandra pouted as Mason approached her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she was so clearly wrapped around his finger already.

‘Yeah, this one wants me gone’ he teased, signing his name in the box but Sandra just threw you a disappointed look and you felt awful instantly.

‘Oh y/n’ she tutted before looking back at Mason with doe eyes. ‘If it were up to me I’d let you stay’

‘And that’s why you're my number one girl’ he told her. Flashing her his killer smile and sending her wink before turning back to you. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

You didn’t answer, just nodded before he left with a sad smile and as soon as he was out the door you felt Sandra’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

‘I tell you what, if I was 30 years younger that boy would be in serious trouble’ she told you, fanning herself with a sheet of paper from her notebook and you felt your resolve crack instantly.

‘God sake Sandra’ you laughed. It was clear that Mason was a hit with the ladies but you didn’t know he’d have this hold over someone like Sandra.

‘What’s he done? Is it really that bad or are you just making him sweat?’ She asked casually, the need to spill your guts to her was as overwhelming as ever but something was telling you to keep it under wraps until things with him were sorted so you didn’t say anything you might regret.

‘He’s not been the best for a while but we had a massive argument a few weeks back after he pushed everything a bit too far so we’ve not spoken in a while’

‘I’d just kiss and make up if I were you, he’s too pretty to be mad at’ she teased and you knew you were blushing again. This time out of sheer awkwardness.

‘It’s not like that, Sandra. He’s my best friend, nothing more, okay? No kissing or whatever else you think might be going on’

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’

‘That’s cause he’s trying to get on my good side probably’

‘Hmmm, we’ll see’ she winked but you didn’t want to listen anymore. Quickly making your way back to your desk so she couldn’t try and marry you off to your best friend but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through with your flowers. Even Olivia sent you a curious look but you motioned that you’d text her later to explain.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. Mason's flowers that were sitting on your desk were a constant reminder that you’d have to see him later and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him yet, if ever. Everything he’d said to you and the way he’d made you feel was still fresh in your mind and you knew they would take a while to recover from.

You were sick and tired of forgiving him for the cycle to start over again but you couldn’t deny you missed him. Yes things had gotten way out of control but you missed your movie nights and catch ups. You even missed making breakfast together after you’d kicked another girl out for him but you knew it all had to stop. He was a man now and able to look after himself and that’s what you wanted to tell him.

You weren’t expecting him to be on time, he never usually was, but at quarter past six there was a knock on your door. He was earlier than you thought he’d be and when you answered he stood there looking as guilty as ever with a few pizza boxes in his hands and you sent him a small smile before nodding him in.

‘Come in, you whispered, walking him into your living room so he could set the pizza down on the coffee table and take a seat but the only choice you had was to sit next to him as you could only fit a small sofa in here. Your flat wasn’t the biggest in the world and Mason always told you he’d pay for you to live somewhere nicer but it was time like these you were glad he didn’t. Not knowing what might happen if things went up in smoke.

‘Can I talk first? I’ve just been thinking about what I wanna say for days and I don’t wanna mess it up’ he asked you but you just nodded. Not sure what you wanted to say yourself yet so you figured you’d sit and listen to what he wanted to say first.

‘That’s fine’ you whispered, watching him get settled in his seat before launching into his monologue.

‘Okay well, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything’ he gulped ‘I know I’ve been the biggest dick and I’ve hurt you but I really am sorry and I’m gonna prove it to you if you’ll let me’ he confirmed and you felt his words swimming through your veins. Never once had you heard him like before let alone hear the words I’m sorry come out of his mouth and look like he meant it.

‘Last time I saw you, when I went off on one, I was just hurt that you’d called me out and I wanted to get you back for it. I know that’s childish and stupid but you hit home with everything you said and I couldn’t take it’ he told you. Clasping his hands together as some form of distraction as he spoke and you knew he was trying his best to hold it together.

‘You’ve always been there for me, you know? You’ve always done things for me that you shouldn’t have and you’ve stuck up for me when you didn’t need to but I’ve surrounded myself with the complete wrong people who don’t care about me. They’re looking for a good time and never tell me no so I thought it was great, but not having you around has just made me realise they’re not the sort of people I need in my life, yeah? You’re what I need’

His strangled voice was pulling at your heartstrings but no matter what he was saying you didn’t want to jump right in and accept his apology. There was so much you wanted to say and that you needed him to know about how he’d treated you. You could see he was sorry and it was evident that he was hurt but if you didn’t want to let him off easy, you wanted him to understand exactly how you were feeling and leave nothing unsaid so you could move away from it and hopefully move on.

‘Please say something’ he gulped, wanting to hear something from you straight away but you knew as soon as you started you wouldn't be able to stop.

‘Thank you for apologising, it really does mean a lot to me that you came here but i'm really hurt Mase and I’m not really sure what to say’ you told him. Your voice sounding thick no matter how hard you tried to hold the tears in and you watched the heartbreak on his face as he saw you get upset.

‘It just sucked, I guess. To feel like you only ever called me when you needed me, like to get rid of someone or if I fit into your plans. Just felt like you didn’t give a damn about me ever. I’ve never said anything or judged you about the way you acted, not until recently at least, cause we’re friends but maybe I should have. Like just told you no a couple of times but I just felt so small to you and that it wouldn’t make a difference’

You could tell he wanted to speak, to let you know that it was all untrue and that he cared about you more than anything but he didn’t butt in. He let you speak and gave you your time to get everything out you needed to and it was more therapeutic than you thought it would be.

‘You know I remember the last time I knew I couldn’t count on you anymore. It was my last year at uni and I had an evening class so I could present my final project but all the trains were messed up and I had to walk there in the end through the rain’ you sniffed and when you looked at him you knew he knew what night you were talking about. ‘It took me just under an hour and I was late in the end so I got docked points and had to make it up with some extra credit but I called you. I called you and you said you were sorry but you were stuck in an important meeting and you couldn’t get out of it’ you hiccuped and it’s like he didn’t want to hear any more. His hands covering his eyes as he shook his head from side to side but you kept going. ‘But then when I got home and I just wanted someone to talk to and rant to there were pictures of you plastered online with some random girl in your lap and I knew you’d lied to me’

‘I’m sorry’ he blubbed, looking up at you with red eyes and a wobbly bottom lip but even that didn’t stop you from carrying on. The words pouring out from your mouth like a waterfall as years of hurt made their way to the surface.

‘You made me feel so worthless when I’ve stuck around since day dot. You always spout about his family is everything to you but I thought that included me? And I felt like I never meant a thing’

‘You did- you do. You mean everything to me I swear. Please please don’t say that it kills me’ he sobbed before finally reaching for you. Pulling you into his body and you let yourself hide in his neck as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘I was a dick for no reason and you’re the last person I should have taken anything out on. You’re right, I was disgusting and I didn’t care about anyone else and you were the first person I actually cared about who told me no and I couldn't take it’

‘You really hurt me’

‘I know I did and I can't tell you how sorry I am’ he cried. ‘I know I’m not easy to be around or easy to keep up with but you’ve always been there and I took you for granted. I honestly didn’t see what I was doing wrong cause no one ever told me, like everyone just let me do what I wanted but I get it now, I really do. I was just so caught up in having a good time and not thinking about the consequences so I took things too far. I know I’m probably out of second chances but I need to ask again cause I can’t lose you’

Your silence was deafening for him and you knew he wanted some sort of answer from you. Eventually sitting up and making you look at him and even though he looked panicked his voice was calm as he carried on speaking.

‘I’m a fuck up okay? I know I am and I know the last thing you probably want or need is me coming back into your life to cause you more stress again but this massive fuck up has misssd you so so much’

You couldn’t stop the little chuckle that fell from your lips. The sound making him smile too before he took your hands in his.

‘I’m sorry for embarrassing you, I’m sorry for all the lies I’ve told and all the horrible shit I’ve said about you and I’m sorry for the constant 8am wakeup calls on a Saturday cause I can’t control myself. I know how to behave and I know what I need to do so I’ll just do it yeah? No more calling you up to kick girls out for me cause they won’t be there in the first place. You need me and I’ll do whatever I can to get there for you and do exactly what you do for me everyday. These few weeks without you have been awful and I’m sorry it took us getting to this point to make me see but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your hands a bit tighter. ‘What do you say, huh? Do you think we could work something out?’

‘I mean, you’re right. It probably is the last thing I need’ you started, watching his head sink as his eyes fell to his lap but you just considered it a tiny bit of payback for now. ‘But I can’t lie and say that I haven’t missed you too,’ you told him. Voice wobbling at the end as your emotions took over and you could see he was also finding it hard to take. ‘But I miss the old Mason, I miss my friend’

‘I’m still here I promise. Just give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m still in here’

‘Please don’t make me regret it’ you whispered but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. Mason bundling you into his arms and the feeling of his arms around you settled you more than anything else had and when he pulled back to smile at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Just because you’ve apologised doesn’t mean things can go back to the way they were. I might need some time’

‘I know, I don’t want that either. I’m gonna prove to you how much I’ve changed and we’ll go at your pace. I just needed to apologise and that’s whether you accepted it or not, but I really would love it if you did’

‘I do’ you told him, your face crumpling once again but he was quick to wrap you up and comfort you once again.

Over the next few weeks he was an angel, giving you the space you needed but also checking in when he could. Things felt normal but so different at the same time and the relief of having your friend back was overwhelming. It was two weeks later when you next saw him in person though, Mason messaging you early Friday evening to see what you were up to the next day but you weren’t expecting his response.

The fact he was offering to drive was tempting. You hated lugging heavy bags on the train and the fact the prospect of food was involved was even more appealing but you hadn’t hung out like this in a long time even before your big fight. Mostly because he was always busy but also because you’d just silently grown apart in that way. Mason liked getting his own way and him doing things for other people didn’t fall into that category.

You had a lot to do and the last thing you needed was him getting bored and rushing you round before spending an afternoon with him trying to annoy you. You knew it was mean but you wanted to put him off a little bit so you could shop in peace but you didn’t want him to think you were still mad at him and didn’t want to hang out.

His message made your heart sink. He really was trying and you knew he wanted more opportunities to prove himself but before you could think about it anymore he was messaging you again to try and convince you even more and you couldn’t deny him this time.

When 9 rolled around the next morning he was there. Standing by his car as he opened the door for you after a quick hug and you promised yourself you’d try and be positive about today and give him a chance to prove himself if that’s what he really wanted.

‘You eaten?’ He asked as you got bucked in, knowing how hungry you got in the mornings but you always prioritised sleep over eating. You had a little bit of extra time today though so you nodded your head at him but didn’t miss how his face dropped slightly.

‘I had some toast’

‘Oh okay, I um… I picked you up one of those juices you like and a pastry but if you don’t want it that’s fine’ he mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed and you felt your heart race at how thoughtful he’d been.

‘Oh… oh no I’ll have it. You know what I’m like, always starving’ you laughed, accepting the little bag and juice he’d picked you up with a smile and you could see how shy he looked. An expression he didn’t usually wear and his soft smile made your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Thank you, Mase’

‘It’s okay’ he whispered, starting the car so he could look away from you and even though the drive was fairly silent with just the low sound of his music playing, you didn’t feel awkward.

‘You coming then?’ You asked as he finished parking, watching his smile light up his face knowing you weren’t going to leave him to sit in the car on his own before he nodded enthusiastically at you.

‘So this trip, is it the usual?’ He asked as you made your way into the main shopping centre and you knew he was referring to where you were going as you visited your auntie in Spain every year.

‘Yeah, it’s just for a few days this time but I really need the break’ you explained and he nodded at you knowingly.

You went to Boots first, Mason holding the basket for you as he followed behind and you filled it with everything you needed. You were about halfway round the shop when you realised something was different, Mason not questioning why you needed everything you put in the basket or making stupid jokes. If anything he was more than helpful, reaching the higher shelves for you and manoeuvring you around the busy aisles by your waist as he knew you hated the crowds.

When it came time to pay, he scanned everything for you while you packed the bag and when you were done he picked it up without any questions so you didn’t have to carry it.

Next on your list was clothes. Wanting to try a few different things on to your usual so you could mix it up a bit and when you had an armful of things to try you turned to Mason with a smile.

‘Will you come into the changing room with me?’

‘What?’ He choked, his eyes going wide immediately as the question sunk in but you just rolled your eyes as you tugged on his wrist.

‘Yeah I need your opinion and I can’t be bothered to keep walking out here every time. I’ll go to one of the family ones so my arse isn’t shoved in your face, don't worry’ you laughed, pushing him inside with you so he didn’t have a choice but you could see the awkwardness on his face. Eventually shifting his eyes to the floor until you bundled him into a cubicle and made him sit on the seat in the corner.

‘I um… what do I-i um’ he mumbled as he set the bags down and you couldn’t help but giggle at his awkwardness. A side of him you hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me in my underwear before’ you laughed thinking back to when you were growing up and to even more recent times like when he showed up at your door and on nights out when he had to put you to bed after one too many but you could see he wasn’t feeling a bit strange so you hung the dresses up on the rail and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Shut your eyes until I tell you to open them, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Shutting his eyes and covering them with his hands as you turned away and picked up the first dress.

It was nothing like you usually wore. Tight and short with a fully cut out back meaning you had to quickly take your bra off to try it on and the thought of wearing it outside these four walls terrified you but you were determined to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

‘You can open them now, what do you think?’ You asked him, watching his eyes adjust to the light for a second before an unreadable emotion took over his face.

‘Oh it’s um… it’s different’ he told you and you couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

‘Well I’ve been thinking about what you said and even though I was pissed at the time and you could have probably worded it nicer I think you were right’ you told him, hands brushing over the short skirt and even though you felt different in it you didn’t feel too uncomfortable. ‘I need to show a bit more skin, you know?’

‘Wait-‘

‘What do boys like more? Bum or boobs? Like what do I need to-‘

‘Wait, stop’ he interrupted, the tone of his voice making you stop in your tracks and turn to him and when he held his hand out to you, you took it carefully. Letting him pull you in between your legs slowly so he could talk to you better but when you felt his fingertips on the backs of your bare thighs your legs turned to jelly.

You didn’t know what it was, that weird feeling pulsating through you at just a simple touch from Mason of all people and the sensation made it feel like you couldn’t get your breath out properly. In the end you had to rest your hands on his chest so you didn’t crumple to the floor and it was like the atmosphere changed within a heartbeat.

His big brown eyes looked dark as he peered up at you through his lashes, the bridge of his nose a deep red and his pouty lips had parted slightly as he tried to control his breathing but it’s like you blinked and the moment was gone. His eyes moving to look at your shoulder now and you moved your hands away from his chest to cross them over your body.

‘Sit down, yeah?’ He whispered, nodding his head to his leg and you sat on his thigh as he caged you in his arms. His face serious as you wondered what he might be about to say to you and you could feel your cheeks getting warm as he looked at you in a way he never had before. ‘You don’t… you don’t need to change the way you look or dress, okay? I was a dick and I shouldn’t have said all that before. It was crap of me and it wasn’t true anyway’

‘But-‘

‘But nothing’ he whispered, cutting you off and you felt your eyes sting as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You deserve the world, you know that? And you deserve a man who doesn’t care about how much skin you’ve got on show or what your body looks like in what you’ve got on. You want a man who cares about what’s going on in here’ he whispered, tapping your temple lightly before doing the same to the top of your chest. ‘And in here. And yeah it might be a wait but you’ll get there. You don’t have to sell yourself short to dickheads like me who don’t have what you need, okay?’

‘It just gets hard sometimes’ you sniffed, his words hitting you deep in your tummy and you couldn’t stop the tears spilling from your eyes before you felt him pulling you into his body for a cuddle. Your head nestled into his neck as you held onto him for dear life but the feel of his hand stroking up and down your back bare soothed you ever so slightly.

‘I know it does’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You hiccuped, barely able to hold yourself together at this point but his gentle touches really were helping. You felt safe with him for the first time in a long time and you knew you could tell him anything and it wouldn’t matter. He’d listen and reassure you like best friends are supposed to.

‘Nothing, I promise. Absolutely nothing, you’re perfect okay’ he told you. Speaking the words directly into ear and he sounded so determined and sure of himself that the sound made you shiver. ‘You’re too perfect, maybe that’s the problem. It's dicks like me that have got something wrong with us yeah’ he laughed and you let out a little chuckle before pulling back so you could wipe your eyes. ‘Does everything you picked out look like that?’

‘Yeah’ you laughed, smiling as he caught the tears you missed.

‘Okay well let me go and look for you, I saw a few bits that are more you but just a bit different. You can try those on and see what you think, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you sniffed, not sure about this idea but you were willing to entertain him at this point and when he came back with a few bits you were actually surprised at how much you loved them. Still your style but just a little different and you couldn’t help but give Mason a massive hug at the end.

Once you’d paid, Mason offered to take all the bags back to the car whilst you popped into Primark for underwear and socks and once you were done you met him outside. Your tummy grumbling as it approached lunchtime and he let you pick wherever you wanted to go but you settled on Nando’s as you knew that’s secretly what he wanted and since he’d been good to you that morning you figured you’d be good to him.

You were back at his just after one, leaving your bags in the car but you noticed he’d taken in a white paper bag that you hadn’t seen him with all day and after the pair of you got yourselves a drink and settled on the sofa, he turned to you with a shy smile.

‘Hey, so I got you something’ he told you nervously, producing the white paper bag from earlier from the side of the sofa and you took it from him with a confused grin.

You didn’t ask what it was, just reached in to grab hold of the box and when you finally pulled it out you almost lost your breath. The brightly coloured picture of the northern lights making you smile immediately before you looked up to his nervous face.

‘I wanted to get you one we could maybe do together? I know it’s probably not as big or complicated as you’re used to but I thought we could start me off easy’ he laughed but you were too overcome with emotion to think of anything to say. Never in a million years did you think he’d want to do a puzzle with you let alone buy you one with a picture of the place you’d always wanted to visit the most on it.

‘Can we do it now?’ You asked excitedly. Knowing you had the whole afternoon together to finish it and when his face mirrored yours you felt like jumping up and down.

‘Of course’ he grinned. ‘I’ll clear the coffee table and we can do it there if that’s alright?’

‘That's perfect’ you nodded, hugging the box to your chest as you stood up before touching his arm gently so he’d look at you. ‘Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I like to be comfy when I’m getting my puzzle on’ you laughed but he just smiled before motioning to follow you to his room. Picking you out a few things to choose from and you settled on a pair of his grey shorts and an oversized T-shirt of his before taking a hoodie down with you just in case you got cold.

Mason got changed too just after you before running into the kitchen to get you both some snacks and drinks whilst you cleared the table and soon enough you were tipping the contense of the box onto the table so you could get started.

‘Right what do we do?’ Mason questioned, the large pile of tiny pieces daunting him quite clearly but you just giggled as you took a seat opposite him.

‘Well I’ll tell you how I do it, so we need to find the corner pieces first, then the edges then we’ll sort the leftovers out by colour and go from there. That sound good?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you gave him the task of the corners and edges whilst you organised the rest. Only realising then how much of a difficult one this one might be. He was right in saying it was less pieces than you were used to but the picture was complicated and once he’d got all his pieces sorted he looked at you with a confused smile.

‘You realise this is gonna be difficult? And we could be here for a while’ You told him, watching him gulp nervously before looking back at all the pieces.

‘Really? But it’s only 500 pieces. The ones you do are thousands’

‘Yeah but the picture here is complicated, it's just all random colours like there’s no buildings or anything to work from’

‘Oh, shit sorry’ he laughed before shrugging at you. ‘I just know you’ve always wanted to go so I thought you’d like it’

‘No don’t be sorry, I do like it. Love it, in fact. I just don’t want you to get bored or frustrated with it if it takes a while’

‘No it’s okay, I can do it’ he told you. The same determined look you’d seen in his eyes countless times before important games and finals and it made you smile that he was applying the same fight for this.

You let him put some background music on as you worked away. Talking lightly about some plans you both had coming up but it was difficult for Mason to multitask. You could see he was trying his best and had done a lot of work in one of the corners but he couldn’t puzzle and talk like you could and you thought his concentrated face was cute. Often finding yourself just watching him for a few moments until he caught you and sent you a lopsided smile as he blushed.

You ordered food in when the time came. Taking a small break so you could reevaluate how much you’d done before jumping back in and it was approaching 9pm when you finally finished. Mason giving you the last piece to place in as he knew it was your favourite bit before you cheered and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

‘Not bad for something dorks do, huh?’ You giggled but it was like he was frozen. His gaze all over your face before a look of guilt washed over his.

‘You know I never thought you were a dork’ he gulped, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pulling you further into his lap.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, cause it’s not’ he shrugged. ‘I never meant it in a malicious way but even playing it’s still not nice so I’m sorry’

‘Thank you’ whispered and after he gave you a quick smile he was looking down at his lap shly again.

‘It’s kinda late, do you maybe wanna stay over? We can have a sleepover like we used to’ he winked and while the idea sounded fun you were also a little unsure.

‘I don’t wanna sleep in your sex bed’ you laughed and the shocked expression on his face made you giggle.

‘Hey, you think I let just anyone go in there? He laughed. ‘I don’t take random girls in there, I take them to the loft room. Well I did at least, I haven’t done that in a while’

‘Why not?’

‘Dunno, just not in the mood? Been too busy begging for your forgiveness’ he teased before his eyes were boring into yours. ‘Please stay’

‘Okay’ you whispered, slightly thankful he’d asked as you didn’t fancy the drive home this late. You were already sleepy and when he tucked you in next to him after he’d put a movie on it didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

The pair of you joked the next morning about who he would call to come and kick you out and you hadn’t felt this normal with him in years. Your Mason was back and you couldn’t be more thankful but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change.

It seemed to be going the opposite way though, Mason swapping his devil horns for angel wings and it was like he was getting sweeter by the second.

Every morning you woke up to a good morning text, and every evening he’d text you goodnight. Messaging you throughout the day when he could and even though it was always silly conversations it was like he’d made it his mission to make you smile whenever he could. He was being the best friend he could be and so much more but it was like he was changing his whole life for the better. No more random nights out so he could trap a girl and take her home, no more mean jokes at your expense and you hadn’t heard about his gaggle of yes men in weeks.

You spent all of your free time together. No matter what you were doing or how boring you thought he might have found it he wanted to be there doing it with you.

You knew Mason was always touchy with everyone but he’d never been the same with you. A hand on your shoulder maybe but that was it, however now he couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you now. Always standing next to you when he could, his hands on your waist or you back or his fingers threaded through yours as you sat and watched tv.

You could feel things changing but you weren’t sure what it was. Wondering if he was just happy you were back but you needed an explanation for the puppy eyes he was sending your way every five seconds that you didn’t understand.

You waited until you’d been to his for dinner one night, letting him load the dishwasher as you got comfortable on the sofa and once he was done he flopped down with his head in your lap as a content hum fell from his lips.

‘What’s gotten into you lately?’ You laughed, massaging his head slightly as he nestled into your lap even further but the action just made you laugh until he was rolling onto his back and looking up at you with a smile that made his eyes crease.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I know I said I wanted the old Mason back but this is something else’ you winked and you could see his cheeks flush as you called him out for his actions.

‘Well I want you to like me’ he shrugged, sitting up and taking your hand in his and even though he was shy you kept pressing him in hope of some answers.

‘You’re my best friend Mason, of course I like you’

‘What if I more than like you?’ He whispered, so quietly you thought you hadn’t heard it but when your eyes met his you knew he’d said what you thought he had.

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t either really’ he laughed, sitting up taller so he could face you and you felt your heart race at what he might be saying. ‘All I know is that things have changed for me and I feel like I need you to know how I feel. It’s fine if you don’t feel it too but I’ve just been feeling these things for you for a few weeks and you’re the person I tell everything to so I feel like I’ve got to tell you now’

‘What things are you feeling?’ You asked. Wondering if you’d maybe got the wrong end of the stick but his next sentence took the breath out of your lungs.

‘Im feeling like I wanna kiss you’ he whispered, barely able to hear him but you knew what he’d said.

What?

You couldn’t speak, and by the looks of it Mason knew he had to keep speaking so you let him squeeze you hand as he word vomited everything he’d been holding in.

‘I just keep having these moments with you, like time stops and I’m in this trance and all I can focus on you and wanting you in a way I’ve never done before. Remember when we did that puzzle? You put that last piece in and you were just so happy like I swear to god all I wanted to was kiss your face off’ he laughed but you couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not sure how to react as no one had ever said anything like this to you let alone your best friend.

‘Mase I- I don’t think I-‘

‘It’s okay’ he smiled. ‘I said it’s fine if you don’t’ he smiled and even though him saying it made you feel better, you could tell he was a little embarrassed. Wondering if you should make a joke to ease the tension and as he looked away you began to speak without even thinking.

‘I know you said you weren’t in the mood for girls but you must be really desperate if you’re thinking about kissing me’ you laughed, trying to ease the tension slightly but he just smiled at you and shrugged.

‘I wouldn't go that far. But it’s honestly fine, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve probably got all mixed up. I’m sure it’s just a phase and it’ll pass’ he laughed. ‘Just forget it, it’s fine and I don’t want things to be weird’

But how could you forget?

No one in your entire existence had ever admitted having feelings for you. It was something you never thought would happen yet here was your best friend telling you he felt like he wanted to kiss you.

It was like a switch had suddenly gone off in your brain, over the coming weeks finding yourself daydreaming about kissing him too and what it might be like to be his girl. Thinking about how his hand would feel clasped in your own, his fingers linked in between yours or just how his touch would feel anywhere and everywhere on your body.

You shook yourself out of it at first, like you were waking yourself up from a nightmare and you couldn’t comprehend how your brain had conjured up such a strange image but as the days went on you basked in it. Giggling as you dreamed about all the things you could do together and how happy you could be.

The pair of you had always been platonic, and whilst lately the lines maybe had become a bit blurred as he became touchier with you with the added time you spent together, your thoughts about him lately were anything but platonic.

Everytime you shut your eyes all you could see was his soft smile and the way his eyes creased at the sides so adorably. The dimple on his cheek made your heart race and all you could think about was taking him up on his offer and planting your lips on his. It wasn’t just his smile though, it was everything. His chocolate chip eyes you wanted to drown in, his smell that made you feel like home and his arms that made you feel safer than anything else.

Everything seemed to be hitting you like a truck and you felt ridiculous. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone constantly and the butterflies only intensified with each new message. Finding yourself sat giggling in anticipation of what he was going to say next and going to bed with a huge smile on your face every night.

You never meant to fall for him, much like he probably never meant to fall for you, but it had happened and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Feeling like a schoolgirl with your first crush and the fact you knew it was reciprocated somewhat excited you and filled you with dread at the same time.

The more you thought about him, the sillier you started to feel. He never offered to be your boyfriend, never said anything about dates or anything extra. He’d said he wanted to kiss you, and that was it.

The words just a phase rang through your ears constantly and as the days went by you realised you didn’t want to be just a phase to him. Disappointment flooding you at him trying his best to curb his feelings whilst yours only grew for him.

You’d noticed he’d pulled back from you a little bit, trying his hardest not to talk to you every minute of the day but you didn’t let him ignore you for too long. Now you were in your feels all you could think about was him and when you might next get to see him. Not wanting to look too eager and alert him to the fact anything had changed but when he text you one evening you felt your excitement levels rise.

You decided to wear one of the dresses he’d picked out for you for your holiday and gave yourself enough time to do your makeup nicely and straighten your hair. You didn't know why you wanted to, or maybe you did, but it was the first night out where he wasn’t trying to set you up with one of his friends and you felt more relaxed about it. That was until he text you that he was on his way and you felt like throwing up.

It's like the words were stuck in his throat as soon as he saw you, frozen to the spot as you locked your door behind you and you could see him visibly gulp as he tried to shake it off and say hello to you properly.

It was one of the weirdest nights out you’d ever been on, the pair of you turning up together and he led you to your section by your hand. Once he’d found you both seats next to each other he was off to the bar to get you a drink with his eyes not leaving you for me more a few moments before he was back with you.

Things only got weirder though as he paid no attention to any of the girls looking his way, not even engaging in conversation with most of the girls the boys would introduce to him and when you tried to question him about it he just shrugged and said he wasn’t in the mood.

‘Hey y/n, have you met Ethan?’ Woody asked as he nodded someone over. A tall guy with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way over to you and you rolled your eyes at his clear attempt to set you up with another one of his friends after you’d told him to stop but the feeling of Mason dropping your hand from under the table that made you turn away to look back at him.

He didn’t say anything, just gave you what looked like a sad smile before you had to turn back to say hello to Ethan. Woody banging on about how he came from Portsmouth just like you and Mason and how they’d gone to primary school together but now Ethan was in the Navy hence why you’d never seen him but he was back for a little while to visit.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you felt weird now Mason's hand wasn’t in yours. Looking down to see it was resting on his thigh so as carefully and as sneakily as you could you laced your fingers back through his and squeezed it gently. Not acknowledging him in any way but you could see his head snap up to look at you from the corner of your eye before his other hand fell over your clasped ones. Fiddling with your rings as the others spoke and you tried not to smile at how adorable he was being.

All the thoughts you’d had about having more with Mason that week, he was making a reality tonight. Giving you glimpses of what it might be like to to be his and how he might treat you but you were still so unsure as to what he wanted as he told you he was just a phase he was getting over so you played dumb for little.

‘You wanna dance?’ You asked him, tugging on his hand gently but he just scrunched his face up slightly.

‘I’m good, you go I’ll watch you’ he smiled and whilst the thought of him watching you dance thrilled you a little bit, you also could tell he wasn’t on his a game and looked like he didn’t even want to be there at all anymore.

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem as into it as usual’

‘I’m fine’ he shrugged ‘Dunno just not in the mood to be around loads of people i guess’

‘We can leave if you want? I mean it’s way past my bedtime anyway’

‘We can, but I’ve got one condition’ he told you with a smile, leaning closer so he could talk right in your ear and you felt every hair in your body stand to attention.

‘What’s that?’

‘Come stay at mine?’ He whispered and his offer made you freeze. ‘I’ll make you breakfast in the morning’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him take your hand and lead you out but you were surprised he didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone first. Only giving Woody a quick wave who gave the pair of you a look you couldn't quite make out before you were jumping in a cab back to his.

Part of you was happy he wanted to get home earlier than usual, it had been a long week and once you were changed into an oversized T-shirt of his you got settled on your side of his bed. Hazily watching him slip under the covers in just a pair of boxers as you tried to hide a smile and thankfully he didn’t catch it.

‘Go to sleep love, you look exhausted’ he laughed, tucking the duvet around you a little more tightly. ‘I’ve just got a few emails to look through okay but I’ll be quite’

‘That’s fine, Night Mase’

‘Night love’ he whispered and you turned onto your side away from him so you could get comfy and hopefully drift off soon.

Your whole body felt like a dead weight, your eyes feeling like they’d been stuck together with glue but your mind wouldn’t shut off and you knew you would be thinking about Mason and replaying most of the night you’d just spent together. Remembering the way he held your hand, held your waist and spoke directly into your ear like you were his made your spine tingle. But the memories were soon becoming warped and disfigured as your brain became tired and you eventually let the sleep take you.

You hadn't been asleep long, but the feeling of Mason's arm sliding around your waist as he cuddled up to you woke you slightly. Not enough to wake you up fully and the warmth of his body pressed against yours was already sending you back to sleep so you just went with it and let him hold you. Revelling in the soft kisses he was pressing to your shoulder as you tried not to smile but you definitely weren't ready for what was about to happen next.

‘What am I gonna do with you, eh?’ He whispered, only just loud enough for you to hear but you knew you shouldn’t be. He obviously thought you were still asleep and couldn’t hear him so you stayed as still as you could and kept your breathing steady in hopes he’d carry on. ‘I’d do absolutely anything for you, you know that? And I’m really trying to get over you but you make it so difficult’

I don’t want you to get over me was the first thought in your head but you didn’t vocalise it. You wanted him to keep talking, to see what else he could admit to your semi unconscious state and luckily enough for you he kept going.

‘I know I said it was just a phase but I’m not so sure it is now. You’re the only person who knows the real me and wants what’s best for me. I can’t get you out of my head’

You waited for more, but it never came. Soon enough his soft snores filled the room and you knew he was asleep but his admissions were enough for you. You knew how he felt, and you were pretty sure you felt the same now but you weren’t sure if you had the balls to do anything about it right now so you followed his lead and shut your eyes so you could let the sleep take you again.

Mason was still asleep when you awoke. The pair of you facing each other as you’d turned in your sleep and you used the time he was asleep just to look at him. His pouty lips and pink cheeks made your tummy flutter and after what you’d heard last night all you could think about is what to say to him this morning.

He didn’t give you too much longer to think about it though and you felt your heart thump as he stirred awake. His eyes opening softly as they latched onto yours but his expression remained unchanged asides from a small smile. Just looking back at you as you did the same to him and a sense of peace washed over you.

The pair of you were both on the edge of your own respective pillows, as close as you could be without touching one another but the moment felt intimate and you could see the love in his eyes for you as you watched each other bathed in the early morning sun. The light bringing out the golden tones in his hair and the honey hues in his eyes, it hitting you right there that your best friend was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

You both didn’t move for a while. Content with just looking at the person in front of you and thinking how thankful you were that you got a chance to wake up next to them and you knew this was only ending one way. You were nervous to say the least, but after everything you’d heard last night you were pretty sure you were on the same page and he’d welcome what you were about to give him.

It was you that made the first move. Not even sure as to why you did it but you lent forward slowly, watching how his body mirrored your own as you kept going and both your eyes snapped away from one another. Focusing on the others lips now and just as your hand reached out to touch his chest for a bit of support, your lips finally locked and his hand cupped your jaw immediately.

It wasn’t a soft kiss like you thought it might be, Mason stole the breath from your lungs as soon as it hit him what was happening. Pushing himself forward so he could hover over you and control the kiss a bit more but you moved your hand to the back of his head so he wouldn’t part from you.

Your tummy was erupting with butterflies, your chest heaving as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and you couldn’t help but press yourself into him further. Letting him grip your thigh as he hitched it up his body and you were quite happy to get lost in him but it was Mason that pulled back. Kissing over your cheeks until you were giggling and when he eventually pulled back his smile made your heart melt.

He was quick to settle back down next to you. Pulling your body right up against his and keeping your thigh wrapped around his waist before you felt his hand on your lower back so he could tickle your skin lightly.

‘Sorry’ you whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed about what you’d done but his gentle smile relaxed you.

‘Don’t be, I don’t mind’ he smiled. Pecking your lips again softly and you knew you were blushing. ‘You know I’ve been wanting to kiss for a while but I didn’t wanna push things too far’ he smiled ‘and it’s not that I don’t want to ever, but I don’t want you to regret anything right now’

‘I wouldn’t have’ you whispered, watching his face soften slightly but deep down you knew it was for the best. You still didn’t know what any of this meant and it was clearly obvious to Mason you were worried as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face and gave you a sympathetic smile.

‘What is it, love? What’s on your mind’

‘I just… I’m not sure, like what does all of this mean?’ You breathed. Watching his eyes light up as you finally spoke your mind. ‘Your my best friend Mason, I don’t want to lose you’

‘You won’t’

‘But I need to know what you want. Is it just a kiss? Like are we done now?’ You laughed, trying to keep it light as it was a pretty serious conversation but the smile on his face relaxed you.

‘No, I’m definitely not done with you’ he told you sincerely. ‘I get us being friends complicates things a little bit but I’m not the guy you think I am, not anymore at least anyway and definitely not when it comes to you’

‘I feel like I’m not enough for you’ you whispered, finally addressing the elephant in the room and you could tell your words had upset him a little bit. The frown on his face was adorable but you wanted him to know how you felt no matter how awful it sounded.

‘Don’t say that’ he huffed, kissing your jaw gently. ‘Tell me why so I can tell you it’s rubbish’

‘No because what if I can’t give you everything those other girls have?’ You laughed even though you were trying to be serious. ‘Like I don't wanna be a dick but you’ve always said you’d never be a one woman guy so what’s changed. What if your eyes wander somewhere else? What do I do then?’

You didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly but Mason knew you never minced your words and didn’t take it too badly. He knew his past and he owned it but he also knew it was his feelings for you that had changed him and he was willing to say whatever he could to get you on board.

‘Remember the day we did the puzzle together, and I said I hadn’t slept with anyone in a while cause I wasn’t in the mood? Well that wasn’t the reason. I didn't know it then fully but I hadn’t because all I wanted was you and the thought of being with anyone else made me feel weird’ he told you. His fingers delicately tracing patterns on your back as he spoke and you knew you were hanging off his every word. ‘At first I thought it was because I missed us being together and I wanted to spend more time with you, but then I wanted to spend all my time with you. My eyes aren’t gonna wander okay? They haven’t in months and why would they when you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’

‘You’re just saying that’ you whispered, not used to compliments like that coming from him and your instincts were to think he was lying but you could see in his eyes something had changed.

‘Don’t tell me what I think’ he teased, squeezing your sides gently. ‘I’ve always thought you were pretty, why do you think I could never understand that you were single?’

‘Mase I’ve never… I’ve never done any of this. You’re the first boy who’s ever admitted to feeling anything more than friendship with me. I don’t know what to do’

‘You don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to do anything okay? Nothing has to change. I just wanna hold you more, kiss you more maybe if that’s something you’d want’

‘I’ve never had sex’ you blurted and the confession made him chuckle. Clearly he knew this already but you just wanted him to be certain of what he was getting himself into.

‘That’s fine’ he whispered, pulling you in a little closer. ‘I know you’re scared, okay? This is different for me too. I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before, I mean I’ve dated girls and been exclusive with a couple but never got to the official stage. I’ve never wanted that from anyone but I want it from you. If that’s what you want’

‘I think I do, I’m just…’

‘What?’ He whispered, a look of love and reassurance on his face and you felt your eyes sting at how safe you felt with him.

‘I’m fucking terrified’ you laughed. ‘I know I’ve been trying to find someone but I never thought it would be you’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d fall for you either’ he winked before placing a soft kiss to your lips that made you melt into the sheets. ‘We don’t have to stick a big label on it or anything, we can just hang out like we have been and see what comes natural to us okay? And if it’s sex your worried about then I don’t care about waiting’

‘I don’t wanna be bad for you’

‘You won’t be, not when you’ve got me for a teacher anyway’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before his face got serious. ‘I know you’re scared but you know you can trust me don't you? I wanna be the one to show you, to make you feel good. I wanna be the one you trust to show you how good it can be’ he whispered and you felt your skin tingle all over at his words. ‘But we’ll wait until you’re ready cause there’s a million things we need to do before we get there’

‘So I’m not just a phase then?’

‘Not at all’ he laughed, ‘and I never thought you were. I could just tell you didn’t feel the same when I told you how I felt and I was trying to make you feel better’ He’d explained. ‘I couldn't go three weeks without you, gorgeous. And I knew I’d fucked up the next day but I was too much of a dick to do anything about it until I couldn’t cope without you anymore’

‘So.. you’re looking for a relationship then?’ You asked, wanting everything out on the table so you could both be certain about what was going on and you watched his face soften at you as he bit his lip nervously.

‘I wasn’t, you know I’ve never cared about that stuff but you’ve made me care. I want to do all that stuff with you. I’m done messing people around okay I just want you’

‘I want you too’ you whispered, finally admitting it out loud and you felt the weight of the world lift off of you.

‘Yeah? I thought you didn’t’

‘So did I, but ever since you told me how you felt I haven’t been able to stop thinking about us. Its like you tapped into this weird part of my brain that thinks about you in ways I never have before’

‘You’ve finally fallen victim to my mind control’ he teased and you only had a second to smile before his lips were on yours again. Hot and heavy as you wrapped yourselves around each other and you realised kissing Mason was better than you ever imagined. You just hoped you could somehow make him feel the same one day but when Mason pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘So if you’ve never had sex and never had a boyfriend, was that your first kiss?’ He asked quizzically, a spark of hope in his eyes that he could kiss you like no one else had but unfortunately you had to burst his bubble just a tiny bit.

‘You’d think it would be but no it wasn’t’ you giggled and he looked at you in deep confusion. ‘You remember Scott from school? Scott Grey?’ You asked and he nodded his head in confusion. ‘Well technically he was my first kiss’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yeah’ you laughed, laying on your back as he pushed you back slightly and you could see the jealousy written all over his face. 'He took me round the back of the science building after school once to show me his new tamagotchi. Asked if I’d liked to be its mum before planting one on me and then never spoke to me again’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his dick off’ he told you, brows pinched as you could tell how annoyed he was with him but you were quick to hold his face and kiss his nose.

‘First of all, no you wouldn’t have. He was twice your size and his dad was on the school board so you could have been kicked out. And secondly I never told you cause you’ve never asked’

‘I’ve been pretty rubbish haven’t I’ he huffed, it suddenly hitting him that he simultaneously knew everything about you but also nothing at all but the way you stroked his cheek let him know everything was okay.

‘If it makes you feel any better, you were my first proper kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone like that before’

‘That does make me feel better’ he chuckled. Getting himself settled next to you again before he pulled you into his chest. ‘What about dates?’

‘I’ve been on a couple’

‘When was the last one?’

‘Like two months ago? A few days after we had our big argument’

‘What?’ He laughed, tickling your sides until you giggled but you fought him off eventually.

‘After I called you a dick and left the club that night, Olivia took me to a party at some guys from works house. I got talking to one of his friends and we went out on a date a few days after but it was actually me that wasn’t feeling it and I told him I didn't see things going anywhere’

‘What was wrong with him?’ He asked quietly but that was the issue. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

‘Just didn’t feel what I thought I should have felt you know?’ You whispered and you saw Mason nod gently with a smile on his lips. ‘I know I’ve never been in that situation or felt those things before but I told myself when I did eventually find someone I wouldn’t settle for just anyone. I want fireworks and warmth and all those things you read about’

‘Do you feel it now?’ He whispered, his eyes searching your face erratically almost as if he was scared of your answer but little did he know he had no reason to be.

‘I do, yeah’

The relieved breath that fell from Mason's lips made you smile wider than you had in a while. His own face mirroring yours just as he planted another heavy kiss on your lips before trailing his kissed down your jaw and neck and you knew you had to try and distract him before you both ended up in a compromised position.

‘Mason?’ You gasped, hearing him chuckle against your skin and even though he stopped his attack with his lips you felt him nestle into you with a content hum that made you pull him in closer.

‘Yes love?’ He spoke against your neck, the vibrations travelling over every inch of your skin and you had to hold in your gasp at the feel of it.

‘You promised me breakfast’ you whispered and that was all it took for him to pull up and look at you with his usual cheeky smile.

‘I did, didn't I’ he laughed. Gently brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. ‘How do pancakes sound?’

‘It sounds like you want me to make breakfast’ you pouted, watching him nod at you enthusiastically before he was trying his hardest to pull you away from the warmth and safety of the duvet.

‘I love how you get me. Come on, I’ll assist you’ he confirmed and you didn’t have it in you to argue. Letting him pull you up so you could stand in front of him and when you felt his hands dangerously low on your back you smiled up at him cheekily. ‘Thank you for giving me a shot, I know I don’t deserve one’

‘You better make it worth my while then, Mount’ you teased but no more words needed to be said. You could see it in his eyes he was ready to make things as good for the pair of you as he could so you let him lead you downstairs by the hand to start the next part of your journey together.

Well done if you made it 🤭 thank you so so much for reading and I’d love some feedback if you fancy it 😘 xxx

[littlemissmanga]

Hello! I hope this makes you smile

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who reblogged something from you or who you just wanna get to know better!

Hey Deeja! I just did one here, but I'll put another 5

Long car rides as the passenger. I don't mind driving, but being a passenger for long trips after setting a playlist and stopping for gas and snacks? Oh yes.

Art viewing. Museums totally count but I mean those funky galleries in cities like Orlando or Ashville or those pop up art fairs in local towns. I love walking through with friends or hubby and just talking about what in the art we subjectively like or dislike. Not trashing anything, but getting to know each other based on our aesthetics. I apparently have the aesthetic taste of a grandmother and I have no shame about it.

A good, hot bath/hot spring. I want to boil like a lobster cause that shit feels so nice. How can you not be happy after?

Disney. I know, say what you want about Disney adults. But the movies are genuinely works of cinematic art and they bring me joy. As does visiting the parks, especially my home park. I'll never prioritize my experience over a kid or family, but my blood, sweat, and tears (literally to all three) are in those parks. If working there didn't disillusion me, I'll keep going back.

Writing. I dipped out of creating for a while since my job meant working on other people's stuff. I used that as a shield for why I shouldn't write (gotta focus on them, I'm not as creative, etc) but it was an excuse. I'm so glad I bucked up and got back into things because it really is such a cathartic outlet. Not only that, but when I get comments that my writing resonated or helped someone? Holy shit, that's powerful.

[songmingisthighs]

Hello songmingisthighs ❤️

I’ve read your Seonghwa dragon story and I fell in love with your writing and so I had to give you a follow! I just read through what’s been happening to you and I feel upset and frustrated as much as you. As a writer myself, I’ve been plagiarized multiple times AND the person who plagiarized my writing had their people coming to defend that person. I’ve never had my blood boiled so much, so I completely understand where you’re coming from.

For supdallyboy To say that it wasn’t their “intentions” to copy you, but had the time to read and set up their sentences in such a similar style as yours AND! The time to go back and “change” it a little. (Sis had a lot of time to reflect and stop it, but did they? Nope!) Like honey, you knew what you were doing. Then! They even have the confidence enough to post it and label it as their own work.

Also! I just wanted to say that people who do plagiarize, they don’t pay for their consequences whatsoever! They always shut down their accounts, deactivate it and make a new account and move on. They don’t go through anything that’ll make them pay for their actions. They pay nothing! While us, the writers, had to be the ones to confront them as they tell us a bullshitting story to make up for their actions that they can’t own up to. WE have to be the ones who has to bring this issue to light because no one would stand up for us. It’s like, why do we have to be the ones to be punished when it was them who plagiarized us?

To those who keeps telling you to stop talking about this situation. Fuck them. Because of people like them, that’s why people who plagiarizes our work be having the audacity to keep doing it. Us, writers, have to just simply “let it go.” Like the amount of time, effort and work you’ve put into these writings doesn’t grow off trees.

Anyways, I just wanna tell you, that it’s okay to feel the way you are right now. Oop…I didn’t know I’d write this long, sorry hehe. You have a great day! I love your writings by the way so don’t let this stop you!❤️

thank you so much for saying all this, i truly do feel justified for feeling what i felt and reacting the way i did. it's not that i hold a grudge or anything but this truly affected me. this past month, whenever i tried writing, i just simply don't find the joy and i even feel nauseous. I trully do feel the ick when i tried writing because of what dally did and even to this day dally and her adopted sibling has yet to come to me to genuinely apologize without trying to justify dally. moreover i felt stupid for not being as mad as my other friends did at dally. this was a HORRIBLE thing, one of the worst things that could happen as a writer here, but i didn't even reach the level of mad that i should have. other people were able to assess the situation better and all i thought was "why didn't i notice this?"

I don't want to stop writing honestly and i'm trying so hard to come back step by step so these kinds of encouragement means a lot to me, thank you ❣️❣️❣️

[genshinluvr]

hello hello~! this is not an ask or anything, more so pointed towards the readers; in and out of the discord. I'll break what I'm about to say into smaller sections to try and get it through some of your thick heads(I mean this lovingly, mostly.)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, just READ if requests are opened or closed. I'm tired of seeing our dear author getting frustrated with people merely not seeing or straight up ignoring it. they've even placed "closed' in their bio for easy accessibility for everyone. do not be one of those people who merely skips around and thinks it's ok to send something in without checking rules FIRST. THIS ALSO APPLIES TO THE UPDATE SCHEDULE WHICH IS LOCATED ON THEIR PINNED POST!! PLEASE STOP FILLING THE INBOX WITH EASY ANSWERED QUESTIONS, IT WILL GET CLOGGED.

2. For the love of morax, PLEASE, stop going into anon mode when it is available to shit on author's work because YOU don't like it. because guess what?? NO ONE CARES! if it's such "bad" writing MOVE ON, have your parent figures never taught you the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then dont say it."?? it's SO easy to go "eh I'm not into their content" and SCROLL AWAY, OR EVEN BLOCK THE PERSON! please use your brains and THINK, because I can guarantee this doesn't make you look "badass" or "unique". at most, a handful of you end up being huge memes and seen as absolutely idiotic inside the discord for letting something as simple as FANFICTION, make you upset.

3. On a softer note, I KNOW what I'm about to get into is more so with genuinely curious people, i hope. when author posts anything angst related, please do NOT flood the inbox asking if there is comfort somewhere in said fic. why? well author does this neat thing where the writing is hidden underneath the "read more" button. plus, she DOES put at the very top, right under the title, what kind of genre the fic is. you don't have to continually ask in her inbox what genre this fic is, because I PROMISE YOU; it's in the fic description at the top. I know anxiety might weight heavy on some who ask this question, but it would be easier on you AND author if you simply opened the fic you are curious about; read the genre as well as the description attached. author is VERY good at making sure warnings are properly labeled, she'd never try to hurt someone on purpose through possibl triggering content. so please, make this easier on everyone and read the tops of her fics before flooding the inbox. it helps keep it a little cleaner, and able to see what requests/brainrots she has.

i try not to be rude about this, but the amount of times author has expressed some sort of problem makes my blood boil. I love her writings as much as the rest of you, but you MUST remember she has a life outside of this blog. she has things to do, or hobbies to interact with. she is not some machine that is capable of pumping out idea after idea after idea. she is HUMAN, like the rest of us. she needs rest, she needs food, she needs BREAKS. As a writer myself, writing is very time consuming, as well as exhausting. do not push author too hard, burnout can happen at anytime. merely enjoy the works she pushes out, and respect her choices in what to do next. thank you.

sincerely,

-🧸 anon

Damn, 🧸 anon popping off in the inbox! I hope you're doing well, 🧸 anon ❤️ I lowkey feel like even if I did answer this ask, people will still not read or see it LMAO 🥲 I appreciate you very much 🧸 anon! You and all of my mods in the server, who I consider to be friends of mine ^^

Also, this week's fanfic is currently in the process of being uploaded, so keep an eye out for them :>