#it felt like i was at a 'real' concert in that moment it was kinda amazing

[chiimeramanticore]

what was ur favorite part of the con

- person who did not get to go

so glad you asked this because I have an answer raring to go. it was this

[reallychaoticwoo]

- [ ] Hello!!! Can I request an alpha Ateez(either Hongjoong, yunho, or Yeosang) x omega reader. Set in real time, where reader came with them on the towards the light tour because her heat or his rut was due to hit during the tour. And kinda drag out the waiting, maybe with a touch on the angst side. Like neither wants to separate cuz it hurts to be far from the other. Like reader or [HJ, YH, or YS] are already in pre rut/heat and when they finally get back to the hotel it hits. And maybe include nesting?

⛓️Sorry it took so long but this is my first a/b/o fic so i wanted to do some research and feel more confident in writing this. Id also like to add i decided to make some extra decisions and have some fun with it but i hope you'll enjoy it regardless!⛓️

✨️ Towards The Night Part 1 ✨️

📝 Word Count: 5.7k

❤️Pairing: Technically ot8 x reader but VERY Yunho heavy

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Hope you enjoy it! This is absolutely going to end up being a series, but it will take time! I'm not fully confident in writing a/b/o smut yet and am hoping to feel better about my spicey abilities before the next chapter comes out! I sincerely can't thank you enough for all your support and your patience as i know this took forever, but i genuinely hope you enjoy it!🖤

Waking up in Seonghwa's arms wasn't out of the ordinary for you. This morning was no different. As your eyes opened, still hazy from your slumber, you rolled to nuzzle closer to the only other omega in your pack. You often found yourself searching for comfort in your fellow omega, falling into his arms when your anxiety was high, stress had gotten the best of you, or really for anything your alphas and betas wouldn't understand as well as Hwa would. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "Good morning baby, did you sleep well?". You could only nod into his chest, smiling contently. You had slept well, but your anxiety was still high knowing your pack had an upcoming tour in America.

It wasn't but two years ago that you'd entered the pack. Seonghwa stumbling upon you after one of their concerts in the states. You were hiding in a utility closet in one of the back rooms. Your heat had started full force during the concert and you panicked, picking somewhere you felt would keep you safe away from the crowd, any alpha's, and hopefully, yourself. You'd always loved Ateez and it was your first concert ever. You knew your heat would be soon, but in the euphoria of the moment, their voices and dances mesmerizing you, your heat hit hard and sudden. Seonghwa had smelt your fear, and your heat, from the stage, and searched to find where it was coming from after the show. He offered help, and a place for you to stay. You half heartedly accepted knowing your only other option was to return to the pack you ran away from, the pack you loathed.

You explained to the dark haired man that you'd never had a partner during a heat and you were terrified to have one due to past instances. He eased your worries and helped you himself as much as he could but he knew it wasn't enough and that's when you got introduced to the rest of his pack, to Ateez. Yunho ultimately being the first one to fully knot you and subside your pain. He made sure to constantly ask if you were okay, what you were comfortable with, and even so much as went out of his way to get men's birth control before actually knotting you. He always made your comfort and wellbeing the most important priority. They all did, and still do.

Funny how much can happen in just two years. Now you were a sole part of them, a part they could never imagine living without. You'd gone from a shy little omega to a confident, goofy, and oh so loving woman. They loved you. You loved them. No one so much as questioned bringing you home back then and after about 3 short months you'd been fully integrated into their pack. You were theirs as much as they were yours. You trusted them with every fiber of your being and to this day they have never given you a reason not to.

Hongjoong, the head alpha. Captain, as you all call him. He is confident, strict, often busy, but he is also very loving especially when it comes to you and Hwa, his omegas. Yeosang, San, and Yunho are the other alphas of the pack. San being somewhat like Captain's left hand man. The mountain of a man is a force to be reckoned with if anyone tries to harm the pack. Yeosang taking the task of being a more behind the scenes helper. He's there when needed but he is often more calculated and helps with planning and the execution of events the pack will be attending (of course, this really puts him as more of Hwa's helper than Joong's but i digress). Yunho is Captain's right hand man, his 2nd in command if Hongjoong were unable to attend certain events or isn't feeling well. Although Yunho was one of the softer alphas in the group, you most definitely did not want to get on his bad side.

Of course you couldn't forget your betas, your choatic but "stoic" as Jongho would call himself, group of men. Jongho is definitely the least hectic of the three. You'd often spend time together quietly reading or conversing in each other's rooms. Wooyoung, your other half, constantly keeping you on your feet, taking almost everything as a joke, and rilling you up because he can. He's always been a needy brat, but so have you. And Mingi, somehow the world's biggest princess and also one of the most abrasive in the pack. You'd swear he was meant to be an alpha if it weren't for his unbearable but adorable need to be coddled every other day. They all felt like home to you now. They all are home to you now.

Pulling you out of your thoughts Seonghwa wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you to rest on top of him. You tried pushing yourself up only to immediately be pulled back into his chest before a soft kiss was placed to your hair. "I can tell something is wrong my love. Your scent isn't as lively and refreshing and you look lost in your eyes. Tell me what's on your mind." You sighed, knowing you couldn't keep anything from him, from any of them. Not that you necessarily want to hide things, but they always have so much on their plates you don't want to add to their stress. "I'm just nervous about you all leaving again.. My heat is supposed to start while you all are on tour and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it alone anymore.. Plus I'm going to miss you all like crazy." Your eyes were starting to gloss over at the thought.

You knew they'd have to leave again for tours eventually. It hadn't been a problem until now as most of their tours were close enough you could travel back and forth if needed, to visit them. Not this time though, this time they'd be gone for a least a month. "Darling, do you really think we would leave you here during your heat? Do you really think we'd leave you here at all??" The look on his face was like you'd pulled his heart out of his chest. He seemed pained at the possibility of you thinking they'd ever leave you behind. You looked at him with big doe eyes, a little embarrassed now. "You.. you never said I would be coming with you.. I thought.. I figured.." Unable to finish what you were saying, Hwa pulled you into him placing his soft lips on yours. A short but loving kiss calming every nerve in your body as his scent surrounded you in everything him. Once you finally relaxed into him once again he said, "We would never leave you behind my love. We couldn't even dream of it. You are absolutely coming with us." You smiled, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. Nuzzling yourself into him, your head resting in the curve of his neck, needing him as close to you as humanly possible in this moment. You were fine, of course you were, they've always made sure you were included and taken care of. Your loves.

After your morning cuddles, and reassuring talk with Hwa, the two of you got dressed and made your way out to the kitchen. Wooyoung was the first to spot the two of you. Sitting at the island, grinning ear to ear. "Good morning doll face! Did you have any good dreams? Dream of me?" You giggled, making your way over to the beta before wrapping your arms around his neck planting a cheeky kiss to his nose. Before you could answer the eager man, Hwa rolled his eyes and answered for you. "I highly doubt you were in her dreams Woo. She was in my bed after all." He didn't wait for the younger man to answer, making his way to the fridge to find something to make the two of you for breakfast. You climbed your way up onto Woo's lap pinching his cheeks once you were comfortably sat. "Oh don't pout Youngie. That just means you'll have to have me sleep in your bed tonight, so I can dream of you." You shot him a wink and leaned in to kiss his neck in the spot you knew would rile him up the most. "Oh, I'm not pouting babe. I'm plotting." The most Cheshire grin appearing on his face at his own admission. "Don't know if I should be excited or roll my eyes."

Hopping off the betas lap you spotted Yunho and Yeosang sitting in the livingroom playing Mario Kart and made your way to where they were sat on the couch. "Morning Yu, morning Yeo." You greeted them while planting small kisses to the top of each man's head. "Morning beautiful." Yeo looked up at you from his spot reaching up to pull you in for a quick peck. "How'd you sleep, sweetheart?" Yunho asked before pulling you around the couch and into his lap. Wiggling around in his lap to get yourself comfortable you looked up at him with a bright smile on your face. "I slept really well actually! I was a bit anxious waking up though but Hwa cleared that up for me." Yunho, ever the sweetheart, pulled you even closer into him so you could rest your head on his shoulder. Pushing out his scent to reassure himself that you'd continue to be happy this morning before asking, "That's good baby. I'm glad Hwa was able to help. I wanted to ask you though, since you're heat is coming up and we will obviously be in the middle of touring have you thought about who you want to help you through it? We won't all be able to take turns like usual without it becoming a bit obvious that something is happening."

You hadn't thought about it really. I mean just this morning you'd assumed you'd be at home fending for yourself before Hwa told you that you'd be coming with them. "Um.. no I haven't really thought about it.." Your scent was starting to sour only slightly but enough for the two alphas sitting with you to notice. "Wooyoung would be a good choice darling. Since he has a valid medical reason we could use to explain his absence." Yeo offered, always the one to think ahead. "I know he can't knot you but with his sex drive I don't doubt he'd be able to at the very least take away the pain." You looked at the two men before resting your head back in it's spot, breathing in deeply at Yunho's scent to ground yourself. "That would be smart, but I'd still like to think about it if that's okay with everyone?" "Of course baby, we'll talk to the rest of the guys and let them know that you need time to consider your options." Yunho said, before lifting you with him, to take you to Hwa who had just finished breakfast for the two of you.

Breakfast with Hwa went by quickly. The two of you just chatting and enjoying each other's company. Not long after, deciding you needed a shower and somewhere to think about who would be the one to keep you company this heat, you made your way to your room. Walking into the spacious bathroom connected to your room, you turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up. Once the temperature was right you stepped into the shower letting the streams of water encompass you and your thoughts. Yes, Wooyoung would be the most logical choice. He had recently gotten a diagnosis that the fans were aware of, so it made sense. Yet, something inside you knew who you really wanted, who you needed this time around. You pushed the thought to the side though. Knowing it'd be best for everyone if Wooyoung were the one to help.

You spent the rest of your shower thinking about Yunho. How even though he wasn't the head alpha of the pack he'd always kind of been your alpha. Hongjoong was a wonderful alpha and he was always so loving with you, but he was often busy, which you couldn't really fault him for. Yeosang, although an alpha, was more reserved and often his affection for you wouldn't come out on front of the others. You didn't mind that much, it just made the time you spent together more special. Yunho, however, he was the first to check on you when you weren't okay. He'd be the first to leave whatever he was doing at the drop of a hat to be by your side if you needed him, even if you didn't need him. It always felt like he needed you as much as you did him. He's always been caring, attentive, supportive, and everything you could ask of him and then some. You love them all equally, but Yunho holds a special place in your heart. After all, he was the first alpha to ever knot you, the first one of the pack to tell you that you belong with them but only if you wanted to be with them. He was the first one to tell you that he loved you. He was a lot of firsts and you needed him to be the first one who got to claim you, the first to adorn your neck with his mark.

Finally pulling yourself together and getting your thoughts back on the more logical side you left the comfort of your shower and dressed yourself. The second you were back in your room you heard a knock at the door. "Come in." You called sitting on your bed, propped up on some pillows. "Hey, just wanted to check in with you. Yunho informed us that you hadn't decided on your heat partner. I just wanted to see where your heads at." Hongjoong said, making his way to the foot of your bed. "Yeo mentioned that Woo would be a smart choice. You know, since his diagnosis and all. I know it'll be a bit rougher not being knotted, but I have to agree that Woo makes the most sense." Hongjoong nodded in response. "I think that is a smart idea, but are you sure you don't want one of your alphas baby? You know we wouldn't mind being by your side even if it meant having to come up with a reason to tell the public."

You knew that. Of course you knew they wouldn't mind but it's not fair to ask that of them. "I know, Joong. I'm happy to have Woo be with me during my heat. I think it may be fun to see if he can actually handle me all by himself. He always talks such a big game." A devilish smirk appeared on your face at the last sentence. You giggled at the idea of Woo having to admit defeat and call one of his alphas to help free him of the beast that is you during your heat. "If that's what you want then I'll let everyone know. If for any reason you do change your mind though, you can always call me, or any of us, to be by your side." With that, he stood, but before leaving he placed a quick kiss to your lips, slowly adding more passion as he pulled you closer to him. "I've missed you, love. I'm sorry I've been so busy. Once this tour is over I promise I'll take you somewhere nice and we can have some time together, just us for a couple days. Does that sound okay?" His scent was starting to dull, you knew he felt bad he wasn't always able to give you the affection you deserved, he wanted to more than anything, you knew that. He is an amazing alpha, but that comes with it's disadvantages sometimes, yet you never questioned his love for you regardless of the time spent together. "That sounds perfect Captain. I can't wait." This time it was you who was pulling him in for a kiss, before letting him leave to talk with the rest of the pack.

Time seemed to fly by oh so fast. After plenty of discussions with the group about how your heat would be handled on tour, your rooming arrangements for when you started feeling the urge to nest, and a ton of reminders that you can call any of them to be by your side if needed, it was finally time to head back to the states. Arriving at the airport, you made sure to dress like you were staff and not a member. You never minded having to hide your relationship with them much, but this time, it seemed to hurt in an unexpected way. It was probably something to do with the fact that everything inside of you has been begging you to finally claim your pack, to have them claim you.

You pushed those thoughts to the side, though, at least for now. The airport was full of fans, paparazzi, and the usual sasaengs. You'd heard a few fans making comments about why there was so much luggage, considering that at least 3 of the members of Ateez were usually half naked. You tried to hide your smile as you made your way to the plane, only you and the guys knew that 80% of those suitcases were the items you'd broughten with you for your nest. Finally boarding the plane, away from all the prying eyes and women swooning over your men, Yunho pulled you to sit in between himself and Mingi. "You can relax now, princess. I can tell something has you bothered. You're usually calm during travel. Are you scared of planes?" Mingi asked you cocking his head to the side. You smelled different, not bad, but not good either. He and Yunho didn't understand why traveling this time around seemed to cause you some kind of discomfort. The two men quickly started pushing out their scents trying to help ease your mind off of whatever was bothering you.

You leaned into Yunho's side trying to get closer to the tall male, pulling Mingi's hand into your own trying to keep him close as well. "No, I'm not scared of planes Min." You looked at him, and then back to Yunho before looking down to your tightened grip on the younger of the two's hand. "I just.. I hate having to hide that I'm yours.. that I'm with all of you. It didn't use to bother me. I've always understood why but for some reason it's just really gotten to me this time. I'm sorry." You were on the verge of tears. The two tower like men immediately sandwiched you between them in an awkward and somewhat uncomfortable hug. It helped though, they always helped ease your mind when it wondered a little too far into itself.

"Oh honey, you know we want nothing more than to claim you as ours and to be claimed as yours. I know we've only somewhat discussed it in the past but how about once we get back home we can all sit down together and really talk about it? This should be something everyone is on the same page about and something we all inform management of together, okay baby?" Placing a gentle longering kiss to your forehead Yunho lifted your face to look at him. "I promise there will be no more hiding anything very soon, okay darling? Even if it's just you and me, you won't have to hide what we have anymore." Mingi was quick to follow, "We are yours babygirl, no one else's. And soon enough everyone will know that." Pulling them closer into you, your tears started to fall, this time, because you felt reassured. Something you oh so desperately needed, something that's been clawing away at you internally, finally accepting that they want you just as much. "I love you." Your voice but a soft whisper to the alpha and beta that currently surrounded you in their arms. "We love you honey" They responded in unison.

Sleep had consumed you for the vast majority of your flight. Finally reaching your destination you and the rest of the members and staff all gathered your things and began to leave the plane. Discrete black vehicles waiting for you and the guys to take you to where you'd be staying for the first stop of the tour. Splitting into a group of 4 and a group of 5 you all loaded into the suv's. You'd asked to join the eldests members for the drive as you knew Yunho would be in their vehicle. You weren't quite ready to leave his side yet.

Sitting in the middle of the far back row, Yunho was to your right and Yeosang to your left. Seonghwa, who was seated in front of Yeosang in the row in front of you, turned to face you. "How are you feeling darling? Your scent hasn't been nearly as pleasant since we made it to the airport." His face was littered with concern. His eyes scanned your face searching for a glimpse of reassurance to his ever worrying mind. You couldn't lie to him if you wanted to, not when he'd been able to smell the souring scent that's been seeping off of you these past two days. So you didn't. You wrapped your hands around each other toying with your thumbs before opening your mouth, only to close it again.

Yunho, being the ever so attentive alpha he was pulled a hand from your lap into his before answering for you. "She's feeling a bit vulnerable with things being so close to her heat. We briefly talked on the plane, but we have something we all need to talk about after the tour." Gripping the tall man's thigh silently thanking him, you cleared your throat still unable to look up at your fellow omega. "Its just been a lot recently having to hide us. I know that's what we discussed when I came into this, and I have been perfectly fine with that until recently. I just.. it's almost painful now having to hide being yours.. having to hide us. But we don't have to talk about it unless you want to. ALL of you.." Hongjoong, who was seating in the seat in front of Yunho, whipped his head around to look at you. His face that of pure happiness, something you wished you could see more of from the head alpha, he looked ravishing when he was genuinely happy. "My love, I can confirm for all of us, nothing would make us happier. Yunho is right though, it still needs to be talked about with everyone. We will have to inform management as well, of course, but we can do that after the fact. Id rather ask for forgiveness than for permission when it comes to our blue bird."

Blue bird, you heart melted at the term. It took you back to when you'd officially come home with them after tour, after your first terrifying but exhilarating heat with them. Hongjoong and you talked for hours about your past with your previous pack and all you had endured during that time. He told you how with them you would never have to be scared. You would always be free to make your own choices, free to leave if you ever so wished, or free to stay, to be with them. But you were as free as a blue bird. The same blue bird that had given you the strength to leave your pack in the first place. Their blue bird.

3 weeks had passed and you were only a week away from your heat, or so you thought. Having joined the crowd of fans every concert, this time you did as well but stayed very close to the exit that led to the dressing rooms just incase. You'd been especially needy these past 2 days and even more so nurturing. You were constantly checking if the guys needed anything, making sure they were all well fed, and finding every excuse to have at least one of them sit down long enough for you to curl up in their lap. Now, staring up at the men you loved so desperately on stage you were their biggest fan yet again. The smile on your face was unwavering as you took them it like it was your first concert all over again. You danced with them from your spot in the standing area. You sang your heart out. You barked especially loudly praying they could pull your voice out of everyone else's in the crowd. Which of course they did. The sound of you, the looks passed between all of you had triggered some especially sexy demon line moments much to the crowds and your own pleasure.

You were in pure bliss. That is, until Wake Up began. Your heatrate skyrocketed, your body becoming insanely and intensely hot. You started to panic and then the chorus hit. Without missing a beat you looked to your loves and they all quickly looked at you, except Yunho who kept hold of your eyes his entire body roll. You snapped, doubling over in pain. You needed to get out NOW. Alerting a security guard to the best of your abilities, he help you through the small crowd in your way and to the dressing room. You were glad the guys had demanded that every dressing room be scent proof during the tour, otherwise you'd be terrified at the possibility of any other alphas finding you. You tried to pull yourself together but you were sweating profusely and undressing to try and cool yourself down as much as possible until Wooyoung could make his way to you. You'd found the luggage you'd kept in the dressing room. Their clothes from previous concerts you nuzzled into Sans ripped shirt trying to breathe in his scent. It only made the pain all the worse, you needed relief, any kind of relief. You were barely in control of yourself anymore your primal need had fully enveloped you.

As soon as you had given in to your urges, trying desperately to find any sense of relief through your own hands, Wooyoung opened the door and slipped in. "Poor 'mega you couldn't just wait for me?" His smirk was condescending but loving. "Need... n.. need help.. Please." "Pretty girl, so needy. We have to get you prepped first love." He said as he stalked his way to you. The look in his eyes hungry, he was going to enjoy taking his time with you. In seconds, he was between your legs, his hands massaging your thighs as he pulled them further apart. He licked a devilish slit up your folds, earning a soft moan from you. Another painfully slow lick and your hand shot to grasp his hair. "M-more. Need more." You could feel the smirk against your entrance as he indulged himself in you. His tongue making firm calculated flicks over your bud. He moved one of his hands up your thigh, giving it a hard grab before moving it down to your opening and inserting a single finger. He pumped it in time with his licks, and your eyes rolled back. "Such a pretty omega, so responsive, so needy for relief." He cooed. You whined and bucked your hips into his hand earning you a harsh slap on your cunt.

"I need more, please, please, Woo.. more." You couldn't get enough. you need for release so close and yet so far. He went back at it, his tongue picking up speed as he slid two more fingers in, finding the spot that would have you coming undone the fastest. You had tears in your eyes. It wasn't enough. Nothing would be right now. You knew what you really needed, who you really needed. Wooyoung was relentlessly thrusting his slender digits into you he knew he could get you there. You cried out, a feral growl escaping from deep within you. He stopped instantly, looking at you with wide eyes. "Get Yunho. Now." Your voice was barely your own. His face was a mixture of hurt and understanding as he stood from his place between your legs. "Wooyoung.. please.. I'm sorry.. I just need Yunho, please.. I need a knot.." You managed to get out between heavy panting breaths. Thankfully, Woo was understanding. He knew he wouldn't be able to knot you like you needed, but he was just happy you were willing to let him try to satiate your needs in the first place. "You got it 'mega." With that, he quickly left.

You were a teary-eyed, panting mess by time. Yunho finally made it into the dressing room. What seemed like it took ages really only took half of a song before Yunho was running off stage. You'd both have to figure that out later. Right now, you needed him and his knot. "Y-Yunho.." You whined, looking up at the skyscraper of a man through your lashes. "I'm right here, love. Did Woo get you prepped?" You nodded quickly. You couldn't wait anymore. "It's okay baby, we'll get you full and knotted. Alphas here now." You practically purred at the word. Alpha. As Yunho undressed, you were practically drooling. His muscular torso, the way his large hands unbuttoned each button painfully slow, his painfully long member finally coming into view. You were dripping in need. He made his way to you, grabbing you by the scruff of your neck and pulling you in for a breathtakingly passionate kiss while he readied his length with your slick.

"Now you're gonna be a good omega and take all of it right, sweetheart?" You nodded vigorously, "Yes, yes! Please, Yunho.. I'll be so good!" He placed a gentle kiss to your forehead before he made his first diabolically deep thrust. "Aahhh fuck!!" He was huge, in girth and length. His tip, kissed your cervix and you gasped in pleasurable pain. "Such a pretty girl, so beautiful when you moan for me baby." He reared back, pulling out all the way until the tip and snapped back in. "F-FUCK YUNHOOO!" Tears threatened to fall as you cried his name. His smirk was devastating handsome knowing you called for him made him all the more eager to please.

His thrusts became beautifully timed, each one hitting hard and deep, his balls slapping your ass as he buried himself in your walls. Your hands found purchase on his toned back, clawing and holding on as if he'd slip away before he could knot you before he could mark you as his. "Alpha... please.. please.." You knew exactly what you wanted, needed. "Please, what pretty girl? Use your words 'mega." His pace became faster, and he placed his hand over your stomach as he rutted into you, earning himself a beautiful moan with each and every thrust. "Please.. fuck... alpha. Need- need your knot.. need you to mark me.. please." Your legs were beginning to shake, tears escaping your eyes as you stared up at Yunho silently begging him to give you what you need. "Baby..." He wasn't hesitant. You haven't fully discussed it with the group. "Please Yunho, fuck please, I'm gonna... aahhhhhh!! Need it, need it now." He couldn't control himself any longer his thrusts became more frantic.

You had consumed his very being in that moment. Just as your walls began to clamp down on him, he spurted hot white ropes deep inside you, his teeth bared, and he bit down hard. As his knot inflated, you moaned in pain but also in relief. "S-so big.. so full." He lapped at the spot he'd bit, sealing it, when you finally realized. "Y-y..You actually marked me?" Tears fell again as you pulled him into you, careful not to tug him too hard and pull at the knot, still tying the two of you together. "You asked me to. You know I'd do anything to make you happy, and I've wanted it just as bad as you have." Before he could pull away to look at you, you bared your teeth and bit down on his mating gland. He let out a deep growl in your ear that made your walls clench on his deflating knot. Placing tiny kitten licks to the mark, you whispered in his ear, "I love you, but you know they're gonna kill us now, right?" He laughed nervously. He knew the rest of the men would not be happy, but he hoped they'd understand.

"We'll talk about it later, we need to get you fed, cleaned up, and to your room and your nest before you get too far into your rut." You smiled at his as he slowly pulled out of you. Feeling much more yourself now, you stretched your neck out, feeling the freshness of his mark in your skin. "You know, it's your fault it happened so suddenly. If you hadn't stared me down during that body roll, I probably would've made it through the concert." You giggled as you propped yourself up on your forearms, your legs still needing time to recover. "Well, I'm glad I did. It got me this." He said as he tilted his head to expose his mark. Once he was fully dressed, Yunho helped you put on your clothes, making sure to be extra gentle around your fresh mark. "Now let's get you to our room for the week, baby. I'm ready for some cuddles while I still have time to get them." You leaned into him, placing a sweet kiss to his lips as he lifted you bridal style. He carried you to the car he'd called before coming to the dressing room, and the two of you sat together in comfortable silence on the way to the hotel. You knew you'd have to talk to the rest of the guys soon before your heat came full force, but for now, you just wanted to enjoy this time with Yunho.

[justme315]

New family 2/?

First part:

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

Fear, mention of vomit , characters being religious, curse words, mention of sexual assault, mention of dehumanization

--------------------------------------------

I was double fucked.

There we go again, me cursing for the second time while starting my story. I promise, I'll try my best for it to be the last time I start with that kinda sentence. Really.

It's just, if I though that what happened previously was bad then what happened later that day was literally hell. Well, yeah I can imagine worse (and believe me when I tell you what happened a few days later you will actually see far worse, but I can't spoil my own story) but it was still bad. Really bad.

Okay, some creeps that enjoy the company of giants would disagree that it was bad at all. But if you're not a giant-obsessed creep (sorry for calling some of y'all out) then you'll understand why it was so bad for me. Okay, back to the story.

As you might recall, I fained mare secounds before officially meeting my moms giant fiance and his sons. Yeah, great first impression. Dad would have been proud. He was just as awkward as me but this once I won with him on 'the worst first impression competition'. Well, I hope he saw this from heaven and laughed at me.

I suppose I though I would soon be 'reunited' with him, if you know what I mean.

C'mon, I can't be the only person that doesn't get why a giant would marry a human if they actually don't have any sick intentions! I mean, everything is really outta place, those kind of relationships have basically nothing to offer. I wouldn't say I'm a traditionalist, I'm bisexual myself so that is kinda impossible, but I'm not there for "mixed-sized" marriages if you know what I mean. They weren't legal (untill like 5 years previously to the story I'm telling you) for a reason!

Shoot, I'm talking about all those things again and you'll consider me a specist. Let's get back to what happened after I fainted.

I don't really know what happened mid-time, my mind was blank after I fainted all the way to the moment I have awoken. It was probably the first time I was actually so unconscious that I can't recall anything.

When I awoken, or more likely started to regain consciousness all I remember is the feeling of warmth. It was really, really warm.

It wasn't too good for me because I had puked what, like 10 minutes before that? Yeah, throwing up again wouldn't have turned out very well for me back then.

Once I finally opened my eyes I still felt dizzy. The whole world around me was moving and I promise you I heard my heart beating so loud that I though I was dying. Well, it wasn't exactly my heartbeat, I later found out.

For a few secounds I couldn't remember what I was doing before I fainted and I couldn't understand where was I. Everything was moving, like I was in a car, but far more.. enourmous.

Crap.

I forgot about those damn giants.

I tried to figure out where I was as I sat up. Whatever I was sitting on was squishy and warm. I tried to get my balance back as my eyes started to unblur. I heard my mom's voice.

"Zack! You're awake!" she yelled out with relief.

Oh yeah. Me and my mom were together. We were going to meet up with her boyfriend and his sons. Why did I forget about that? How did I?

I touched my head, feeling it hurt. What the hell was actually happening?

"Ethan, honey can you get me closer to Zack, please?" I heard my momma's voice once again, though it now wasn't directed to me.

Wait. Ethan? I know that name from somewhere... Oh, fuck.

"Sure, auntie, whatever you ask for" I heard a manly voice echo around me. It was so low and loud that it sounded like it was coming from some concert speakers rather than a real person. I was literally drowning in this voice that seemed to sound from every direction around me. As if I were somehow surrounded by it. Was this even possible?

"Just be careful Van, don't move too suddenly, Ethan is still learning how to manage an overly trusting human" I heard another manly, yet softer voice that somehow felt even more surreal. I was starting to understand what was happening. We were with the giants. Probably in a car. I was..

The same voice that spoke less than a secound ago let out a chuckle and I swear that once I started processing the words he had said I was about to freak out again when I found another reason to.

"Dad don't say that!" the voice around me echoed louder, making me feel my heart skip a beat. My head was spinning again "Auntie, don't listen to him. I work with human kids, I know just how to handle your kind, no need to worry"

The rest of the short conversation seemed blurred out to me. I was more concerned on a discovery I made. I finally figured out my surroundings.

I was half-sitting on the lap of a giant.

Ethan, specifically.

My eyes widden, my head screamed at me to freaking run away as far as possible, my legs felt groggy, my breathing fasten as I slowly raised my eyes, first looking at a enourmous stomach covered by a white comfy hoodie, then at a neck with visible veins (which creeped the heck out of me) and finally at a face of a gigantic beast named Ethan.

His hand was reaching out to Andrew, who was driving and my mom casually walked into his opened palm from the shoulder of her 'fiance'.

My teeth bit into my lower lip before I could let out a yelp at noticing how easily the freaking 60-ish foot tall dude handled my mama, my only treasure, only family.

My mom was soon lowered in my direction and believe me when I tell you, catching eye contact with a giant was the worse ever feeling for me back then.

Ethan smiled at me with those freaking fangs of a killer and I felt my whole stomach rushing up my throat.

If it wasn't for the fact that earlier I have literally vomited everything that was inside my body I would have surely puked at that moment.

I felt my freaking soul leaving my body as the gigantic dude-beast smiled at me and eyed me up and down.

"Hey, kid. I'm Ethan"

And I was back down.

Yep, I fainted again. I know shitty thing but damn, that's freaking terrifying! You wouldn't be much better facing a giant, I assure you!

Well, they didn't let me be unconscious (or dead at that point) for long enough, my mom rushed to me and shoke me awake.

"Sweetie! You fainted again!"

Yeah, no shit mom, I was on the lap of my probable future murderer that could literally do anything to me, I had nothing to be afraid of.

"I did..?" I mumbled, rubbing my face.

Don't call me a coward, I just wouldn't say something that rude to my mama, even if it was the truth. If you were raised properly by your mother you would know not to talk like that to her (unless she's a bitch, then go ahead).

"Maybe we should actually go to the hospital" said Andrew, looking at me for a secound and then back onto the road.

"No baby, I think he is just tired. Let's get him home and give him some time to rest and then we'll decide" my mom answered.

Ethan looked down at me with now a concerned expression but didn't say anything. He seemed conflicted. I don't know what was him problem but I appreciated that he didn't touch me nor say anything to me again directly.

Even though I appreciated not being touched, it didn't take my fear away, my body was still trembling and all I wanted was to hide from his gaze.

My mom worried sick and spoke some stuff to me for the rest of the ride, but if I'm being honest, I couldn't understand even a single word she said, I was too focused on the fact that I was on the lap of this enourmous young man and his eyes never left my body.

I actually felt a little sad (don't kill me mama) that I didn't just die at the airport. I wouldn't have had to be so close to giants.

Ethan had a conflicted and even sad look on his face but I couldn't actually figure out why. Maybe it was because he couldn't kill me in front of my mom? Would that even matter to him? Or was it his father or brother? I don't think they would've minded it. I was not actually sure why me and my mom were still alive but I was grateful to God that we were. I also prayed that my mom would escape somehow, with me preferably but my hope about her realizing we were in danger was long gone.

Before I knew how many miles we had traveled, the car stopped.

"And we're home" Andrew announced happily.

Ryan left the car, not saying a word, slamming the door so hard that not only me but also (surprisingly) my mom flinched.

Ethan turned his head around to face his brother but the two never made eye contact. That was weried. What was happening between those two? Okay, I was hella scared but drama is drama! As long as I'm not a part of it I'm a fan.

Andrew signed.

"He'll be over it soon, honey" the oldest giant said, looking at my mom, making a small, reassuring smile. Even though I was terrified of the giant and his voice made my head spin unpleasantly I felt some pity inside of my heart. Andrew was a tired dad with visibly some issues with Ryan. Yeah, he was my probable future murderer but I could still pity him a little.. right?

"I'm sure he will. He just needs some time to adjust, that's all" my mom answered her fiance. I was curious what was all of this about. I got so involved in trying to figure out the situation that for a secound I forgot that those were actually giants I was thinking about and being within their reach (do not remind me that I was on Ethan's lap, please, it was as scary as it could).

"I'll talk to him auntie, he can't be this rude to you both" Ethan added into the conversation. I didn't like how he called my mom 'auntie'. It sounded as if they had a relationship. And as if it was sincere. I hated it very much. I didn't like how they tricked my mom into believing that they had no sick intentions. She was my mom. Not their "auntie" nor "Van" (it's a nickname for Vanessa if you wanna know).

"We all need to adjust. It's not easy for neither of us. Sure, for me, your dad and you Ethan it might be easier but it's still hard to change our whole lives" my mom tried to sound assuring, petting the giants hand. I flinched as I realized what she was doing but I didn't say a word, I just held my trembling hands together with more pressure.

Ethan's eyes landed on me again. I swear he looked right into my soul. He didn't seem angry, more likely sad and surprised. What was he surprised about?

"We should be heading back home." Andrew spoke again, trying to look more positive, even though it was visible it was forced. That somehow made my heart ache. If he was a human I would have felt bad for him. But he wasn't a human.

Andrew opened his door. I realized that I couldn't get out of the car on my own. I paled again. My mom noticed and came closer to me, grabbing my arm for support as I stood up. Cold sweat flew down my spine. I didn't want to be touched by either of those giants. Abso-fucking-lutely not.

I closed my eyes tightly, expecting Ethan's enormous hands to grab me forcefully and carry me home as if I were a toy. My heart was beating faster, my breathing became shallower, my legs were barely able to keep my balance.

I felt a terrible pressure in my chest, that stinging feeling you feel when you're extremely anxious, as if something was crushing you from the inside.

I waited for a second, two, ten, but the grip never came.

All that happened was my mom speaking to me:

"Why are your eyes closed? Are you feeling worse again?"

I immediately opened my eyes and looked at her confused yet worried expression. My eyes then landed on Ethan who was now even more visibly shocked and sadden. What the hell was his problem exactly? Did I look this pitiful that even a giant pitied me? Dang.

"No mama, I'm f-fine.." my voice shook way more that I intended to reveal in front of the giant. I nervously moved form one leg to the other. I realized it was the first time I spoke in front of a giant in my normal volume voice. That one sentence mumbled before that was basically a whisper.

Ethan's gaze never left me as Andrew exited the car. My mom's as well, but her gaze was less intimidating.

I still don't really know how Ethan knew but I'm sure as hell he knew way more than my mom that I was scared. She acted as if I was just sick while he.. seemed to notice.

"Would it be okay if I took you in my open palm and took you back home?" the giant man spoke in a softer, slower and more quiet voice, his hands never moving an inch in our direction. It felt surreal.. was he really asking us about consent to being held? He could just grab us. He could do anything. He didn't need our consent. Even if we said 'no' he could still do anything he wanted. But somehow.. somehow the fact that he did ask was not only shocking but also.. slightly calming.

"Ethan, honey, what a silly question, of course you can!" My mom chuckled a little, smiling at the beast ahead of us.

"Sorry auntie, but I wasn't talking to you" he smiled softly at her, showing those fangs of his a little (which surprisingly didn't scare my mom but made me take a tiny step back) and then his eyes met mine and I felt uneasy, trapped even, my body stiffen "Zack, will you allow me to get you back home on my open palm? No pressure, kid"

My heart literally stopped for a moment. I was shocked he asked me that. I knew there was pressure - my mom, the giants, no other way into the house - but he pretended to care. To actually mind how I felt about that. He also never used the words 'hold' or 'grab' and he kept emphasizing that his hand would be open. I didn't know what game was he playing but he was doing it really well since I felt a little more easy about the whole situation.

I didn't want to be touched though. I hated that idea. I hated physical touch in general but being on a giants hand, totally dependent on him was even a thousand times worse. But what I was supposed to do? He would stop pretending to be polite once I said 'no'. Also, my mom would be mad. I didn't want my last memory of her to be anger.

"Zack, sweetie, Ethan asked you a question. Answer him, so we can get back home" my mom rushed me, though the giants eyes landed on her with dissaproval (though at first I mistaken it with anger, i must confess (I might have been a tiny little bit paranoid)).

"Y-Yeah.." I mumbled, or more likely yelped at Ethan's eyes returning to me. I could barely speak with him being this close.

He didn't seem convinced and wanted to say something but we heard Andrew calling from outside the car: "Are you coming or not?"

The giants eyes scanned me up and down again and then he slowly moved his right hand and lowered it onto his lower thigh, still leaving about 6 meters between himself and me. My mom rushed to get on him palm, while I stood there, biting my lower lip. The feeling in my chest returned. I looked up for support in my mom but her eyes didn't even meet mine. But Ethan's did.

"It's alright Zack, I promise I won't drop you, I know to handle humans" he spoke softly and quietly as if trying to calm down a startled animal. Was this what I was to him? A scared kitten? Humiliating.

My mom's eyes landed on me and she then looked as if she finally realized what was actually stopping me from getting on that palm. But it was as clear as day she would not reveal that I was scared of Ethan. I don't know why, wasn't it obvious?

"Ethan, honey he is just scared he will fall, that's all. Zack don't be silly and come here" she chuckled nervously as if trying to hide a secret. Good job mom, totally not suspicious and totally not making me look like a coward. Good job.

I took a deep breath and a unsteady step ahead. It was the first time in my life that my legs didn't obey to my will. Well, it wasn't exactly my will but I tried to actually pretend like I wasn't afraid.

I looked up and Ethan looked at me with those enourmous hazel eyes full of pity and emphaty.

I finally figured out why I and my mom were still alive.

They must have viewed us as pets.

I gulped at that though. I remembered how gentle and polite I was to my first hamster - exactly like Ethan was to me now. Great, I was going to be dehumanized for the rest of my supposably short life. Lovely.

"It's alright" he cooed again, as if talking to a baby animal. It really pissed me off. I am clearly not an animal! Like damn, I am an average (maybe even a little handsome) guy, not a pet.

I actually enjoyed the fact that I was more annoyed than scared at that moment, this emotion didn't stop my legs from moving at last.

It took me a moment but I actually did get on the giants hand. The fear returned to my body. I was pretty much petrified. This was freaking unnatural. I was standing on something so squishy, warm, unsteady, so alive. I hated being held by a giant. His long fingers creeped me out the most. They twitched from time to time.

The enourmous guy spoke again "Hang on, we're heading out".

He soon stood up and exited the car. I gulped, feeling all my organs moving. Saying I was uptight was an understatement. It was like an extreme rollercoaster, only without any protection, while standing up and with an unpredictable route. I couldn't help but let out another yelp as he started walking. I couldn't really keep my balance well, but my mom held me in place.

The ground was so far away that I knew if I fell down I would 100% die. My mom somehow wasn't bothered by that. Like, we get it mom, you're a crazy, giant-obsessed, old woman but freaking have some decency and don't be elated by being in danger! (Please don't let my mom find this blog, she will kill me).

My heart was pounding faster than it physically could. I promise you, I have had a heart attack. I tried not to move, just to ensure myself that I wouldn't die falling down.

It didn't help that Ethan's eyes LITERALLY never left me. Like, how creepy can you be?

Oh.

What if I was supposed to be HIS pet?

This would have made sense. Andrew would take mom, Ethan me and Ryan was pissed off at both of them because he didn't get a pet. It sounded realistic.

My mouth went dry at that though. What would he do to me? I have heard stories of humans being dehumanized and held as pets by giants. Some kept them in cages. Some forced them to be nude in those. They would feed them trash. They would force them not to speak. They would punish any disobedience very, very harshly.

My eyes became glossy, tears began to built in them.

What would be Ethan's punishment towards me?

This question made me almost break down. What would he do to me? Would he be the "nice owner" that treats pets with care? Or would he be cruel?

I remembered my friends story, when we were back in my school. He told us about his cousin who was kidnapped by a giant. I think I told you this story before. What if my fate was similar?

What if I would be abused mentally, physically and sexually?

Oh my dearest Lord God what if that was it? What if both of them were sexually deprived creeps? What if Andrew was 'dating' my mom, becouse that was what was in his mind? Was I about to become a victim of that? Would anyone even believe me? Would anyone save me? Would anyone save my mama?

I muffled my sob. I was fucking terrified.

Lord God, please hear my prayers and save us - I prayed - Please God, don't let them harm my mom. I don't care anymore what tortures I'll go through but please save mommy.

Before my mind could take me any further we entered the house - my new prison.

It was freaking enormous but I have to admit, it was also pretty. Those dudes were freaking affluent. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide my fear. My mom's eyes now met mine.

"Is everything okay sweetie?" My mom petted my shoulder. I smiled sadly at her. We were about to die but we were together. We were a team. As long as I was with her it was okay.

"Yeah" I mumbled, hugging her, fearing it would be the last time.

"Welcome to your new home!" Andrew announced.

Welcome to hell.

--------------------------

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it 🥰 Can't wait for y'all's questions and theories!

[jessource]

TRAP (2024) SENTENCE STARTERS.

we're not gonna break any laws.

you caught me. i admit it.

it is important that my hand stays on your shoulder at all times.

this is literally the best day of my life!

he was a man who had a scarring relationship with his mother.

don’t feel like you have to stay here to be polite.

can i visit your home?

i'm gonna be right back. i'm gonna try to get you help.

i used to be brave like the storm on a sea.

sorry. i didn't mean to upset you.

[name], listen to me. your husband is the butcher.

maybe you thought i was having an affair.

i'm not following you.

i specifically said i wanted honeysuckle sour kombucha, bitch.

must be something to be that loved, right?

what a mess we made.

what's the code?

i saw you make up a lie once.

what was it about it that didn’t feel right, [name]?

she could start a cult.

a bird belongs Anywhere but caged.

…i think you’re looking for me.

i'm not great at a lot of things [name], but keeping my two lives separate is not one of them.

can i talk to you alone for a moment?

i didn’t know what would happen.

i feel such rage towards you, [name].

maybe the trap wasn't set there at the concert. maybe it was set here.

i have a dark side. you don’t want to see it.

have you lost your mind?

let me see you one last time.

that's why it can be so very lethal in small spaces.

i wonder what's down there?

no, i'm not making it up. i'm not making it up.

you’re gonna sit in your seat or you’re gonna be punished.

you are not responsible for hurting me.

when i had a second to think about it, it kinda dawned on me how this might have happened.

she looks like someone that i used to know.

that frickin’ nutjob that goes around just chopping people up?

we should have come earlier.

my father left when i was seven.

you lied so convincingly…

tell me anything you remember to help me find you.

well… the reason i wanted to talk to you… is…

there's a ghost in my house.

i held that anger for a long time.

so, what does "crispy" mean?

i’ve never felt this before.

he’s here and he’s trying to figure out a way out.

they set up a trap for him.

i'm not someone to be provoked.

[name] was really hurt by all of this.

i'm sure they've made a mistake, [name].

that would be like the worst idea.

just in case we get separated, meet me at the orange drink stand right outside the tunnel.

who were you talking to?

you’re not squeamish, are you?

[name], you keep leaving.

we can talk about it later.

"hamilton".

don’t move! hands behind your head!

hey, maybe if we all scream his name, he might hear us.

maybe i'll be a singer.

it’s funny how we knew each other so well.

you want me to come? i feel bad.

i'm sure it's a misunderstanding.

it's not too late to take up the offer.

the hell are you doing out here?

don't mess with me, [name].

i'm really glad i saw you again. i can tell that you’re upset.

the reason i wanted to talk to you... is... i think you're looking for me.

this individual is not a projection of our fears.

we'll get there when you wanted to get there.

stop telling stories! monsters aren't real.

i guess we know things without knowing them.

it was who i was.

that could never be true, everyone's in pieces.

there’s no way to get out of here, except backstage, i guess.

i want you to try to forgive them.

what's going on with those girls at school?

[name], you wanna come dance with me?

um, so, i'm sure you know how this works, right?

what’s your code? i mean… if you can say. idon’t want you to get into trouble.

this whole concert, it's a trap.

here. let me help you with that.

did i tell you, you could talk back to me, [name]?

after this, i won't leave you.

i don't want to be around people.

what would i hear at one of your lectures?

hey. why don’t we go outside for a second?

remember what the profiler said.

they’re watching all the exits. they’re checking everyone that leaves.

just come see me in like… ten minutes. all right?

i'm not supposed to tell. don’t rat me out.

wait. wait, wait, wait, wait. i gotta tie my shoe.

they gave us a code to say in each section of the arena in case we got stopped by the police. real undercover stuff.

that's unfair, i'm twelve.

wait, isn’t this one of the songs you always play?

hey, what's with all the police trucks outside and the cameras everywhere, jamie?

if we get into a confrontation with our unsub, our job is to get him alone, away from civilians as quickly as possible.

pass it forward, as they say.

they wouldn’t be real, honey. don’t let people fool you.

hey, we should climb down and see where it leads.

no dad jokes, this is serious.

we're late, this is frustrating.

i am upset. my daughter was hurt.

bro! you're strong.

let’s keep it clear who we’re dealing with.

you know, i'm kind of obsessed with him.

i don't really wanna talk about it.

she waved at me.

put me down.

you're acting strange.

i think i got a good photo.

here, you can use my stash.

[sourbinnie]

Hiii i have a request . Can you do as 9th straykids member when you left the group? and their reaction or maybe their massages? Just please as a friend not SHIP 💀 TYSM ❤️🫶🏻

title -> sooner or later genre -> angst my beloved | voicemails pair -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader a/n: i wrote it as voicemails since it's my favorite style. i hope you still like it ¡!¡!¡ since i don't really do messages. ALSO this is not romantic like you wanted i put a + instead of an x, that's how i differiante it.

"(y/n). where do i even start? i'm not mad, let's say that. i'm just mostly concerned, it was just announced to us that you left the group and we never talked about this? like, i've never  seen you look discontent with being a part of stray kids. is there things that i don't know? i would love to talk to you before it goes public and we have to say you're not a part of the team anymore. i just wanna know what happened, you're like a sibling to me and i don't wanna lose one of the most important parts of the band because we just didn't talk you know? anyways, please answer as fast as you can".

chan left the voice message with as much strength as he could as he looked around the room. he didn't even wanna know what was gonna happen now because he never planned for stray kids to be eight. there was an empty space in the dorms now, a new type of silence and an increase of anger & confusion in all of the members that was justified right? why would you just leave? that's what they said. you weren't kicked out, just decided your time on stray kids was enough and he needed to speak to you to know what you felt.

✉ ✉ ✉

"so you decided to just leave? without telling any of us? real funny of you. i'm not disappointed or sad, i'm just fuming (y/n) and to think we trusted you. do you not understand that you ar- were a part of this for life? we were supposed to stay together forever. how do i even explain to felix and jeongin you're probably not gonna come back? i've never seen them look so distraught. i know i didn't show it but i really wanted you to be there for me in my most important moments 'cause i thought of you as a friend for life. i don't know what went down but this doesn't excuse your reaction to leave us in the dust".

minho felt betrayed, like he was stabbed and someone twisted the dagger. he wanted to protest against the manager that announced it all and he did, he did not stay silent like the rest. the shock then suddenly appeared knowing that they were eight members now and the fact that he wouldn't see you around the dorms, in practice, at the concerts, or at the music shows. it made him sick to his stomach that someone he considered a brother/sister just disappeared with no reason.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey, i know it's kinda late but the news were just blurted out to us. i have no idea how to react. i just wanna know what happened, clearly there was something we didn't know that we need to talk about right? 'cause you can't just leave. i'm not gonna go out without a fight either, you are like one of my best friends and that's not gonna change. it's just so weird, we were talking about so much shit yesterday and you said you could only see your future with us and now you're gone? just like that? all your things are getting packed and it's just hard to watch. i don't imagine stray kids without you and i don't even want to".

changbin was completely lost. utterly and weirdly lost as he processed everything, another time he would've fought against it and he would've invaded his manager with questions (even if they were gonna remain unanswered). in this state he found himself in, he spammed you messages after sending the voicemail but they all weren't even seen. he wanted to go to chan for help but he saw the leader lost that shine in his eyes when all of this was announced. 

✉ ✉ ✉

"(y/n), i-i literally don't think this is the right decision. i know it's already in the work and that you will decide what's best for you. i am no one to tell you what to do but have you thought this through? leaving us? i'm just worried to be honest. felt like crying when they told us but i was a strong boy for you and yet you wouldn't care if you didn't care about leaving either. god i'm sorry, i'm just going through all the emotions at once and i still don't know how to react. just please call me and we'll talk it out like we always do, the team won't be the same without you and i don't even wanna think about you leaving me".

hyunjin knew he was being selfish by sending a voicemail like that and he did not care. even if didn't feel like crying before, he sure as hell was crying now thinking of his brother/sister and what could have happened for them to just leave. how did the person who was the most excited for him to come back from hiatus just decided to leave? and now they wouldn't answer their texts, it's like they disappeared face off the earth. hyunjin just wanted to get out of the dorms and go look for you, and guess what? he did.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey. gosh, is it too late already? to be sending you this voicemail and hoping you come back? i know it's not easy. i don't know exactly what you went through for you to be making this decision on your own but i wanna know, i wanna get to know you better. even after all these years, i feel like we didn't discover each other fully and i want more, i want your visits at the studio, us messing up choreography on purpose and writing lyrics together till the morning. tomorrow is gonna be awful for all of us but for you especially as this is gonna go on public and i wanna be there for you before it all crumbles apart".

jisung wanted to know what happened first of all. then he wanted to hug you and not let you go, afraid you would slip away from his embrace and he would have to be left alone. if there was a thing people didn't mess with was his friends and he considered you to be on top of his list with the rest of the members. sharing a dorm with him, must've been a nightmare but you two managed to be a mess together. now looking at box after box of your stuff, he just felt the biggest hole in his heart.

✉ ✉ ✉

"are you okay? do you need me to go where you are? i know it's late but i would do anything for you, you know this. even right now as everyone is losing their minds, i just care about you and that might show a bit of favoritism. i just don't know what the hell happened for you to go, was it something we did or said? 'cause i can't recall and i will apologize a million times if i have to. it's just a lot okay? just to be told that you decided to leave and it was your choice. and if it was i just wanted to know if we could remain friends because i seriously don't want to lose you. just call me back please".

felix was devastated. the fact that you were alone somewhere, away from them, away from him. knowing that even if he said that he wanted to remain friends, the company wouldn't like that and you two would probably never see each other again. it just felt so weird to wait around for a message when you were the quickest to type them out but now it was as if the world was against him or something. he needed to hear your voice and to maybe tell him that it was all a really well calculated prank.

✉ ✉ ✉

"why did you leave? i don't wanna go in circles. i just need to know bluntly and straight the reason why you decided to leave us. weren't we forever? you said that so many times that right now it just feels like another lie. all the things we promised, they're gone too right? (y/n) please fucking answer me before i lose my mind. i am not a person to beg for anything but i would do it right now for you to explain what the hell happened. we are all as confused and lost as we could be! you didn't even say it to our face, were you scared to face us? why would you be scared? we were always gonna support you if you gave us a reason".

seungmin of course didn't mean to sound as angry as he did. he just couldn't help it when he was left in the dark by one of his closest friends and the worst part is knowing that this voicemail was gonna be left on seen. he threw his phone onto his bed as he sighed, hoping you would just answer. it was just scary to him that all of this was happening and he had no idea how to react. you weren't there with them like you always were and he wished for nothing more than for you to come back.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey (y/n). it feels weird to call you by name but i just need to get your attention somehow so you answer me. it's been forever since we know each other and now to be witnessing what might be the end for what we were building, just leaves me with a bad taste. did we do something? or was it just something else happening that you never told us? either way i would rather you have stayed. i don't wanna cry because you wouldn't have liked that but i feel like i'm gonna do it anyway. not like you're here to stop me even though i wish you were. just please call me or any of us back, i wanna hear your voice telling us the truth".

jeongin's eyes were watery but he quickly wiped them away. he sat there on the couch while everyone was in their rooms and waited. he looked at the door every once in a while thinking maybe it would help him but at the end of the day it just hurt more to now that you probably weren't gonna come back. scrap that, you weren't gonna come back at all and this would be announced tomorrow. he felt like choking but he still stayed strong as he tried to think of the good moments with you and holding on to the memory for dear life.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

✨ 8 Days until my Surgery ✨

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey. So see part 3 below the cut

You can read part 1 here

So, we're now entering the era of a lot of firsts for me. I lost my virginity and then started dating the person who's currently my fiance 🥰. Also, I got my first job (as a pizza cook), moved in with my partner, and went to my first concert (Amigo the Devil). This was when I first started feeling like an adult and a real person tbh.

I remember hating that job bc I would get misgendered constantly 😒 It was take a few years before I was consistently gendered correctly and there are still random moments where I get misgendered but it's pretty rare by now.

Besides my mom, my partner has been my biggest supporter and had a big influence on who I've become. Also they accepted their nonbinary identity shortly after we started dating so our transitions are intertwined.

This was also the part where a lot of physical developments came. Like, I remember going from wearing breast forms constantly to my developing boobs getting too sore to wear at all. Also I loss a lot of weight. I thought that was because of the estrogen but that was more because I stopped taking antidepressants. Honestly wish I could gain some weight back 😅. I was also developing my personal style as you can see below. It's funny how I defaulted to a very basic repeating outfit pre-transition to discovering I did have a sense for style, just only with feminine clothing lol.

(pictures taken between Dec 7th, 2020 and September 14th, 2021)

This was definitely my era of using filters a lot. There's nothing wrong with using filters (it's kinda like easy makeup imo) but as I started dealing with dysphoric traits, the desire to use themlessened.

Also it was around this time I went to simply she/her pronouns. I remember my friend I should use whatever pronouns make me happy and she/her did when they/them felt neutral at best. And this was when I finally felt like I "deserved" to call myself a woman.

In the next update, I started loving my body 💕

Next part

[haesunflower]

I finally met zerobaseone

(in concert, of course) (also, hello I'm back from the dead!)

✎ this is a documentation of my experiences at TIMELESS WORLD IN MANILA. This will be long and will be mostly for myself to look back on.

Let me start of by saying that I had been extremely lucky. I had been a fan of these boys since boys planet, so it's a no-brainer that I purchased STANDING VIP tickets for their first Asian tour. Admittedly, I had been busy as of late – only keeping up with major song releases. I even set aside writing as a hobby. But still, I felt I owed it to them and to myself to watch them in concert.

The day comes, October 12, 2024 and the queueing number I'm assigned to is 164. This means that 163 people will enter the arena before me and take their desired spot. I was prepared to have a view with 4 rows of people ahead of me. But still, it was a great day and I had no reason to complain. I complimented people on their outfits, spoke to the staff, and traded cards with zerose.

The security team messed up, and called on the wrong section to start entering the arena. My line got separated from the rest, and I was left to the side of the entrance. I wasn't sure what time they were gonna let me in.

By some grace of the universe, they let my line in first. I became THE VERY FIRST to enter the arena. So that was when I secured my spot in front of the right side of the stage. The only thing that would separate me and the stage is the barricade. I was with my friend, and we were both so giddy.

SOUNDCHECK EXPERIENCE

They came outta nowhere, I wasn't even prepared. They started pouring in stage and greeting everyone and I was shaking so bad. It felt surreal to see them up on stage.

I had a lot of signages prepared. I wanted to ask Ricky and Hanbin what tattoo to get. To my surprise, they noticed me right away and gave their answer within 5 minutes of entering the stage. I was in SHOCK.

The soundcheck experience ended, and it was the shortest 10 minutes of my life.

CONCERT EXPERIENCE

I have a lot to say about the concert. And it's all good things. All their songs sound better in real life. Stage presence unmatched. I think I blacked out during the first song, I was extremely overwhelmed.

Ricky is even more ethereal in real life. I'm not even joking when I say that I was looking at him for 50% of the concert. That face card is crazy, and his confidence is overwhelming. His aura is calm, cool, and collected. What's crazy is that I would start filming Gunwook, but my camera would magically gravitate toward filming Ricky instead.

Hanbin is exactly like how you would imagine him to be. He was so sweet, and he was truly THE fanservice king. He reads signs a lot, and matches all the requests it reads out. I think I got noticed by him a total of 3 times at the concert.

Matthew is a sweetheart. My friend who watched with me is a big seokryudan, and her sign read "take our phone!". He mouthed "I'm sorry I can't, but I love you" to her and blew her a kiss. I wish I was making this shit up.

Gyuvin also is a fanservice king. Love him so much. He read all our signs, and even WITHOUT a sign, he still interacted with me. Jiwoong looks like a god that I can't touch. Hao is so fun to watch on stage because you can tell he loves music and dance so much. Yujin wants to be an adult so bad :( can you just be a baby for a moment please! and Taerae only exclusively notices fanboys. It's kinda funny.

And finally, Gunwook. As you may all know, I'm a Gunwook bias through and through. He didn't really notice me in the beginning, until I remembered he has bad eyesight so I have to try a little harder (lol). Before that, I want to praise him because his presence on stage is so mesmerizing. I keep looking for him because he is energetic, charismatic, and so so so alluring to watch. His movements seem even bigger and better on stage, and he just looks like he is having the best time in the world.

All my interactions with him happened during the last commentary segment of the concert. He saw my "wink if you see this" sign, and my "Gunwook I choose you" Pokemon sign.

Let me break down this interaction for you. When he read my sign, I was raising my banner SO HIGH. I am 5'7" and if I jump, with my arm outstretched, my sign would float above the rest of the crowd – so that's exactly what I did.

What I cannot get over is how he LAUGHED at me when I almost fell as I landed, and I started mouthing "thank you I love you" and he gave me a thumbs up. I do not think I will EVER get over this experience. EVER.

DEALING WITH PCD It's been hard, but I've been coping by purchasing albums and unboxing photocards. It also helps that I've made a lot of tiktok videos on this experience. Overall, 1000/10 experience. If you have any questions or just wanna talk, my inbox/asks are open! <3 miss you all

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 27

As Louis once said: on our way to 27~~ sdkjskdjskdjskd

Also for anyone catching up with this: my wishes for Christmas became true, I did get an album from my brother, he got me ATE by Stray Kids (it hasn't arrived yet but it will soon).

Top 3 BL Kisses

Asking really hard questions, tbf... I really like kisses. All kinds. So I'm sorry to most kisses out there, I'm sure you were all great, but I was forced to choose.

Number 3: TongrakMahasamut Beach Kiss (Love Sea)

I was calm, I was tense and then I WAS FUCKING SAT. The italicized "oh"? You know? The "Oh. Oh." FUCKING FELT THAT. This was the exact moment this series had me. I was shooketh. They are crazy and they are nasty and I was in for it. Man found in his house, glued to his seat watching guys being filthy on a beach.

Number 2: PatPran Rooftop Kiss (Bad Buddy)

I've mentioned this scene before for other reasons but if you know me, you know I'm gonna keep mentioning it bc it's just FUCKING MINT. The acting is so, gooooodddddd, ah OHMNANON, OHMNANONNNNNN... At least they're interacting again, right? Oh, well... But yeah, it changed my perception of what BLs were (or what they could be). From the lines, to the facial expressions, to the body language, to the intensity of the kiss... Absolutely stunning scene.

Number 1: JackJoke's 1st Kiss (Jack&Joker)

Jack&Joker made my Mondays better but no Monday was better than the one where THIS KISS happened. What a fucking moment... WoW... The emotion, the rawness, the want, the desperation, the desire, the LOVE... There's so much story being told right there and it's so... Well done. YinWar's chemistry is legendary and their acting is fucking real but damn... God fucking damn it, it was a pretty scene. Nobody is out there doing it like YinWar and we all know this. Big W.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: UncleMilk's Goodbye Kiss (Choco Milk Shake); FadelStyle at the Concert (The Heart Killers) & SandRayBoeing's Kisses (Only Friends)

What I love the most about uncle and Milk is uncle's understanding. He knows how Milk is and he respects that, the feistiness is not something that scares him and his avoidance of touch is not something he takes poorly. But also... When he needs to push him forward, he does. This all is shown in that kiss and I adore it.

I think Fadel and Syle got me more not on the kiss itself but on the context of the kiss. What it means. To both of them and to each of them. To Fadel is freeing, to Style it's caging but to both it's an expression of love and want. Fadel feels like Style is the best thing that happened in his life in a while, Style feels like he's probably the worst thing that's happened in Fadel's life in a while... And it's painful and gorgeous and NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA HURT SO FUCKING MUCH, HOLY SHIT!!!

Idek how to explain that scene... Oh, no, wait, I kinda do! (link) dkjskdjskdjsk But basically, I just think the differences between kisses are glorious, it portrays the relationships between each character so well. It was a bold move but it was a GREAT bold move. Shout-out!

[nausicaamusiclover20]

Your stories are so good OMG 🥹🥹

I have an idea, I’m so obsessed nis with 98-99 James, he’s just soooo fine… anyway, maybe he and reader got married a year before that and she’s super calm and always chilled so she’s good for his anger, emotions, and he loves coming home to her waiting with a meal; basically he really enjoys being the husband, the drinking went down, no strippers, etc. but the guys in band start joking that she put him on a leash, and he kinda used to be a “wolf” type, but she turned him into a domesticated puppy? And he’s pissed off, so typically he tries to prove that he’s still “got it” : he starts to come home late, getting drunk, strip clubs, etc. She can’t understand the sudden change in attitude, so she wants answers. But James goes like “that’s the real me, you don’t like it - door is that way, I can get another wife easy”. She moves out, as she’s done tolerating this behavior, but in a couple of weeks he’s begging her for forgiveness? He hates coming to an empty house, it reminds him of how lonely he is outside the band, he can’t confine in anyone and he basically had a fight with Lars because she’s not there anymore to calm him down????

Thank you, I hope you like this❤

Come back

I always waited for him after a concert. It was our little ritual—me, the quiet of our home, and  dinner warming on the stove. When James walked through the door tonight, looking exhausted but satisfied, I felt that familiar warmth in my chest. His concerts always took so much out of him, but he seemed at peace once he was home. With me.

"Hey," he murmured, his voice hoarse as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, his lips brushing my neck. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I replied softly, leaning back into him. "Dinner’s ready."

Instead of eating right away, we ended up on the couch. His body relaxed as he held me close, his fingers trailing lazily across my skin. He didn’t need to say much—his silence spoke of the comfort he found in moments like these, just the two of us.

But that peace didn’t last.

James Hetfield pov

The concert had just ended, and the crowd's cheers still echoed in my ears as I made my way backstage. I was buzzing from the adrenaline, ready to go home to the warmth of my girlfriend.

Before I could reach my dressing room, Lars intercepted me, leaning against the wall with that casual grin.

“Hey, man, you want to hit the bar tonight?” he asked.

“No, I’m not feeling it,” I replied, trying to brush past him.

“Come on! You’ve changed since you got with her. It’s like she put you on a leash and you became a domesticated puppy.”

“That's not true!” I snapped, irritation flaring. “I didn’t change for her.”

“Really? You used to be wild. Now you act like you have some kind of responsibility,” he shot back.

“I’m still me! Just because I don’t want to go out every night doesn’t mean I’ve changed,” I argued.

“Fine. But it feels like you’ve lost yourself. Just think about it, okay?” he said, frustration evident in his tone.

I sighed, knowing he had a point, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. I pushed past him and stepped out into the night, his words lingering in my mind.

---

A few days later, he started coming home late. The first time, I didn’t think much of it. He was out with the guys after the show, I guessed. But it became a pattern, and the dinners I made were left cold on the stove. The quiet of our home stretched on, longer and emptier each night. He hardly said a word about it, and when I tried to ask, his responses were clipped and distant.

"Something wrong, James?" I asked one night as he walked through the door, later than ever, reeking of alcohol.

"Nothin’," he muttered, brushing past me.

I could feel it—the distance growing, the warmth fading. The man who once rushed home to me after every show now barely seemed to notice I was there. 

But I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed.

---

It all came crashing down one night when I confronted him. I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when it so clearly wasn’t.

“James,” I started, my voice shaking as he came home late again, looking like a stranger. “What’s going on? You’ve been different for weeks now. You don’t talk to me anymore. You come home drunk, and I’m left here wondering what I did wrong.”

He didn’t even look at me. “Nothin’s going on.”

“Don’t lie to me, James,” I said, my frustration boiling over. “This isn’t you. I don’t understand why you’re acting like this—why won’t you talk to me?”

Suddenly, he snapped. His eyes, cold and angry, finally met mine. “This is the real me. The guy who used to go out, drink, live his life. You don’t like it? There’s the door.”

I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t need you telling me what to do,” he growled, his voice low and harsh. “I can get another wife if this one doesn’t like who I am.”

Tears burned in my eyes. I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. The man who once couldn’t wait to come home to me was now telling me I could leave. “If that’s how you really feel,” I whispered, my heart breaking, “then I’ll go.”

I packed my things that night, my hands trembling as I gathered the life we had built together into a couple of bags. It hurt like hell, but I wasn’t going to stay where I wasn’t wanted.

---

Weeks passed, and the silence in my new apartment was heavy, but it felt better than the cold indifference I had left behind. I was trying to move on, trying to piece myself back together. But the hole in my chest—the one shaped like him—was still there, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.

One night, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, there he was.

James.

He looked like a wreck, his eyes hollow, his face unshaven, and his body tense. I hadn’t seen him like this before—so vulnerable, so broken.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, his voice shaking. “I messed up. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I can’t do this without you. The house is empty, and I hate coming home to it. I hate not holding you, not hearing your voice. I’ve been miserable without you.”

 He stepped closer, and I felt my heart race. “I’ve been so damn lonely,” he continued, his voice raw with emotion. “I hated waking up in that house without you. Every time I walked in, it felt like a punch to the gut. I even got into a fight with Lars ‘cause I couldn’t calm down. You’re the only one who ever knew how to do that.”

His eyes were red, and I reached out, cradling his face in my hands, brushing away the tears that had pooled in his eyes. “You don’t have to feel this way,” I whispered, my heart aching for him. “You’re not alone.”

He leaned into my touch, his breathing shaky. “I miss you. I miss us. I need you. I was an idiot, and I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but please… please come home.”

My heart ached at the sight of him, but the pain he’d caused still lingered. I missed him. I missed the life we had together. But I couldn’t just forget everything.

“I’ll come home,” I finally said, watching the relief wash over his face. “But things have to change, James. You can’t shut me out like that again.”

He nodded, his eyes glistening. “I know I messed up, and I can’t tell you how much I regret it. But I need you to understand that being without you feels like an emptiness I can’t bear.”

I stepped aside, letting him in, and as his arms wrapped around me once more, I felt the familiar warmth return. The healing would take time, but in that moment, I knew we’d find our way back.

[cuddlyjongho]

I absolutely love how you write jongho but I'm a few years older than him- is there in any way that you write him with a noona reader (someone who is older/respectful) doesn't have to be smutty I just need him to be flabbergasted by a lady

- raccoon anon

just kiss me already

idol!jongho x fem!reader

warnings: kinda smutty (?), suggestive, make out session

a/n - omg thank you so so much!! i don’t even do this properly, like i’m not a writer or anything i just started to post my thoughts when i was drunk one night lmao! so knowing that people are actually liking what i write is amazing 🥹 this is also my first ever request so it probably won’t be great but i will try my best for you! ❤️

there you were, at the concert you’ve been dreaming of attending for years. you finally get to see your favourite group, which also means you get to see your favourite person, jongho, for the first time too. you managed to get a front row ticket and although you didn’t think you’d get any interactions with ateez you still outdid yourself with your outfit - all black, sophisticated and sexy.

halfway through the concert jongho comes over to your side of the stage. he scans the front row and his eyes finally land on you, the moment you wanted so bad to happen. inside you were dying of excitement but you kept yourself composed and gave him the biggest smile. he smiled back and gave you a quick wink before he ran back to the group to start the choreo for the next song. your heart skipped a beat and you felt the heat rising in your cheeks.

jongho kept glancing over to you for the rest of the concert until they finished the last song, left the stage, and the lights turned back on in the arena. everyone around you was still losing their minds and you just sat there with a big smile on your face in disbelief with the attention you got from jongho.

as everyone was filtering out of the arena you started to get up to go too when a member of staff tapped you on the arm. you looked at them and they said to follow them. you were instantly scared, thinking you had done something wrong. they took you through a couple hallways backstage and then to a door. the member of staff said to go in. so you did just that, not knowing what you were getting yourself into.

as you stepped into the room, your eyes immediately met jongho’s. he got up from the sofa he was seated on and greeted you with a huge gummy smile. “oh my god… is this real?” you ask. he giggles and replies “yes, it is! i actually asked our manager to bring you backstage. i hope that’s okay with you?” “of course it’s okay!!” he giggled again in response. “you really caught my eye in the crowd for some reason, maybe it was because you were so calm and composed, you really stood out from the rest.” he explains. “well, if i had seen you when i was a teenager things would’ve been different, i would’ve been screaming your ears off.” you both laugh, “…but now that i’m in my late 20’s i’ve been enjoying concerts more when i’m relaxed and able to take everything in without just losing my mind”. you both laugh with each other again.

after talking for a little while, you notice that you’re both sitting a lot closer than you were before. you both look at each other, no words spoken… until, “you’re so hot” you accidentally blurt out. jongho then breaks eye contact, looking down at his fidgeting hands and giggling like a teenager with a crush, a rosy red colour creeping up into his cheeks. “please don’t tell me that i’m making THE choi jongho blush right now?!” you say to him. he looks back up at you and says, “is it bad if you are?” “not at all, i just didn’t know i had it in me to get you in this state” you reply.

a few minutes later, you notice him looking down to your lips every so often as you carry on the conversation. you wonder whether you should make a move, or even if he’s thinking about you in that way, but then you think of how he literally got his manager to pick you out of the crowd and bring you backstage for him. it’s not just a chat he wants right? he looks at your lips once again, so you say “with the way you keep looking at my lips it makes it look like you wanna kiss me”. “what if i do?” jongho replies quicker than you could process what he just said.

you suddenly put your arms around his neck and begin to kiss him. he leans into the kiss, putting his hands on your waist. you move closer, not breaking the kiss at all, and end up straddling his lap. you hear him softly moan into the kiss, still not believing you have this effect on him. you pull away, both of you panting for air. he bites his lip, moving his hands to your hips. he pushes you down into his lap, making you aware of what you’re *really* doing to him. you gasp and smirk, leaning in for another deep kiss.

just as both of your hands start roaming around each other’s bodies there’s a loud knocking on the door. “it’s almost time to go back to the hotel, jongho” a voice says. he looks at you and asks, “wanna come back to my hotel room to finish what we started, beautiful?” “fuck yes” you say, making both of you giggle.

let’s just say that it was a long night for you both. and enjoyable one at that.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Smitten | Jaemin Imagine #7

Title: Smitten

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff that might make you want to throw up

Word Count: 594

Author's Note: Just another idea that came to my head. My inner romantic tends to take over whenever I write stories like this. Then when you combine that with Jaemin, it's kinda hard to stop me lol. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Thank you for reading ^ ^

𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪

The gentle aroma of vanilla-scented candles, combined with the inviting coziness of your living room, enveloped you and Jaemin in a relaxing embrace. Nestled in the corner of the sofa, both of you found a comfortable position, arms, and legs entangled with one another. Your head rested against his chest, allowing you to feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, while his fingers delicately caressed your hair. As you cuddled, your attention was drawn to the phone in your hand, as you scrolled through the cherished moments captured in your photo gallery.

“Remember this one when we saw the cherry blossom trees?” You showed him the selfie you had taken of you two surrounded by the pink flowers.

Jaemin chuckled as he admired the picture alongside you. “Your eyes look like they’re about to burst with joy in that photo.” 

Amidst laughter, your thumb glided over the remaining photos. As you ventured to the latter segment of your gallery, Jaemin's gaze widened in surprise upon encountering an array of images featuring him—from electrifying concerts to captivating photoshoots, even selfies he had shared on social media.

"You save all of these?” Jaemin turned to you with a curious look.

A delicate hue of crimson rushed to your cheeks as if you had been unexpectedly caught doing something you weren’t supposed to. Feeling a touch of embarrassment, your eyes stayed anchored to your phone screen.

“It’s just this habit I have whenever I find a picture of you online,” you shrugged. “Sometimes I just like having something to look at when you’re away.”

Recognition swiftly lit up Jaemin's eyes, a sense of understanding dawning upon him. Your words had an instant effect, gently warming his heart. The reassurance that you held him in your thoughts mirrored his sentiments toward you—a comforting reciprocity he cherished.

A soft smile graced your lips as you casually swiped to the subsequent photo taken by a fan. “And how can I not when my boyfriend has a smile that could light up the whole room?”

Observing the love brimming in your eyes as you admired the image overwhelmed Jaemin’s heart with this delightful tingly sensation. You glanced up from your phone and met his affectionate gaze. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, a renewed blush on your cheeks.

Unable to take his eyes off you, he leaned in until the two of you were mere inches apart.

“You are so adorable,” Jaemin whispered before closing the remaining distance between the two of you.

His hand gently cradled the side of your face, guiding your lips into a slow, tender kiss. Your eyelids fluttered shut as your fingers instinctively threaded through the nape of his neck. Surrendering to the moment, you savored the softness of his lips against your own.

You were the one to pull away first, not wanting to get too carried away. Jaemin still had that lovesick grin on his face that almost made you want to smack him. Bubbling giggles erupted from both of you, as you seamlessly eased back into your previous cuddling embrace.

“I love you,” he murmured into your hair.

Smiling, you squeezed him a little tighter. “I love you too.”

Na Jaemin stirred a whirlwind of emotions within you. Although your mind sometimes tried to trick you otherwise, what you had with Jaemin was real and extraordinary. You were so lucky to have him in your life, and he never hesitated to ensure you knew that he felt the same way about you.

𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

This watch made possible by @isaksbestpillow.

Last time, Mika recognized that Kakeru felt bad about how he snapped at them and opened up to his dad after talking to Daichi. As a result, she sent Makoto with Kakeru to the local festival with Daichi, and they all managed to make huge progress. Madoka followed them because he thought Daichi was seeing Kakeru, but Makoto cleared that up and the two gays are back together properly. Kakeru and Makoto understand each other better, and got to have a great moment where Makoto taught him how to use a pop gun to win a cute prize. Also, Makoto confronted his senior properly, and urged him to update after they solved a big problem.

I'm with Hasegawa on wanting to resolve the core issue that Kakeru hates the baseball team players.

I kinda wanna see what Furuike taking over for Shimura looks like now.

I'm glad the boys listened to Kakeru and tried to receive what he was giving them.

DON'T MIND 👍

I do feel a little for Furuike and am happy that he's trying. I'm glad Makoto started to change before he reached that age.

Oh shit! Is Moe family??

Look how far we've come. Moe is trusting Makoto with a big emotional ask. He didn't flub it, and was even able to offer praise!

The sign is coming down!!

I love these boys coming back a few days later after reflecting on what Kakeru said to share what they've learned. That's one of the kindest things one can do.

These girls walked in ready to fight these boys for Kakeru, and I fucks with that for real.

So much for that ship! Ookubo is already seeing someone.

DON'T MIND 👍

Not surprised that Madoka was an athlete at all.

He's holding Daichi's hand in public!!

I continue to love Daichi more than any other man we've met in these shows in a long time. I just love the way he cut through the bullshit and asserted that neither of them was giving up on building a future they want together.

I'm so ready to see Makoto at a concert!

Kakeru and Moe teasing Makoto about going on a date with Mika is such a lovely reward for all the effort everyone has put in.

I love Mika teasing Makoto for walking in the side of traffic after copying Daichi.

Wow @lurkingshan wasn't kidding. It does look like Kakeru is gonna fuck that bear.

I do love the siblings checking on each other.

I'm getting so emotional about Mika's explanation of how RANDOM gave her an outlet for something to be passionate about when she was in a dark place and feeling alone. It was so important to remind ourselves how Makoto used to be, and I'm glad he reflected on what role he played in that, and is able to thank the band for helping his wife and partner.

I'm really glad we've seen two shows this year that have women in the 40s and even 60s loving and enjoying boy bands.

I adore Makoto. Of course his bias would be Kanata, the one helping the others.

I'm so glad Mika has fandom friends her age to hang out with after a concert. I'm going to be thinking about how Mika described Makoto growing into someone unlikeable.

He did research! Look how happy she is!

Kakeru is such a little brother.

This family is fun again, and can let Makoto do dad things. They can trick him into a treat, and then Makoto gets to do fun dad things now like limit them to one parfait to share!

I am undone. Madoka recognized Daichi's backdoor proposal earlier, and seeing Daichi yearn for what the Okita family has pushed him to propose directly. I'm so happy for Daichi, and I'm so happy for the Okita family that they could be part of that moment after everything we've been through. Makoto didn't say anything this time and only applauded at the end. I know that parfait tasted great that night.

I'm so happy for Mihoko, too. You know she has worried so much about Daichi, and is thrilled by this engagement.

Oh boy, Daichi's dad is coming back next week.

I love love love how so much of this is about how there's always enough love to give. The end of the date was an opportunity for some out of house family time, and of course Daichi and his partner are welcome. And it's that yearning for that which pushed Madoka over the edge. I love that the Okita family got to be part of that moment. So much of this episode was just constant payoff for all the work everyone has put in. Kakeru has a place for himself at school. Makoto has the respect of his team. The kids like their dad again. Mika likes her husband again. We are a team now. We can face whatever comes next in these final two episodes.

[swiftwritings]

now this song hits real close to my heart. As I said in my last post, I lost my dear grandmother about a year and a half ago. Her death absolutely shattered me to pieces. Someone that I cherished so deeply but also didn't know how much I did until she was gone. I cannot tell you how many times I blasted this song in my car to cry to, to yell the lyrics in anger and depression. I can never listen to this song without crying every time, this is the only song I have ever experienced that with. I still hear her voice inside my head, I can hear her laugh, "what died didn't stay dead" I carry her with me throughout every single day. I remember all the laughs we shared, the memories she created, the summer days I spent at her house, spending the school day sick, all of it. She always had my back you know? Always supported me in almost everything. She was someone who always loved how much I looked up to Taylor, I remember specifically going to her house a couple nights after Taylor was on the Voice and she was so excited to tell me all about it. She loved knowing the latest on Taylor and watched videos I took from concerts. This song just resembles what it's like to go through grief. Music being so calming yet so eerie almost in sound at some points. Lyrics are so simple yet so detailed. That's how grief kinda felt for me. felt so simple that I lost someone I dearly loved but yet so detailed on how it affected me everyday. I dont know, it's almost too hard to explain what I went through but yet it's not. But here I am crying because that's how grief works.. I just appreciate this song so much, I know Taylor will probably never see this but playing this song almost on replay to cry my eyes out and feel the feelings I needed to feel in the darkest hours helped me heal somehow. Being able to sing this song in Pittsburgh with Taylor performing it on tour somehow lifted so much weight off my chest while I was singing back and crying. Somehow felt like I could breathe. Somehow felt like my grandma was there with me experiencing this magical moment and felt like everything would be okay. Thank you Taylor for this even though you probably don't know I even exist. @taylorswift @taylornation @tree-paine

[justanotherfanartist]

heeey guys little social help here? (poll at the end)

get ready for a rare real life lore dump (yippee) because I have a social scenario I’m not sure how to handle. this is your chance to have input on my life like some sort of rpg (if you’re into that kind of thing lmfao)

(I really really hate outing my age range like this but I feel like it might impact peoples choices so. just know I’m on the older end alright)

So, I went to this nearby jazz festival on Saturday. Basically, it’s an event that pulls a bunch of local highschools and their upper and lower level jazz bands together (I’m in my schools lower level group) to compete for awards and finalist placements and stuff like that (very fun very cool experience every time) and something that’s become a habit of mine is scanning each group for anyone interesting and it just happened that there was this guy from another school’s upper band that really stood out to me.

He is genuinely one of the prettiest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on, bro is GORGEOUS and also an amazing trombone player with super clean tone (and was part of a killer trombone soli) so naturally I’m pretty smitten. For real as soon as you start playing an instrument yourself “being good at an instrument” is immediately something added to your type which makes going to these things an interesting experience.

Anyways, I thought he was attractive enough to try and shoot my shot (I do this kinda thing every so often especially if I think I’ll get rejected just as a confidence booster. works like a charm btw) so I made up my mind that hey, we all stash our instruments in the same place, so after the finalists concert when everybody goes to grab their gear and pack up I’ll go up to him and ask him if he wants my number before we all have to leave for the night. Pretty non instrusive introduction that guarantees a short conversation and an excuse for him to leave if I happen to make him uncomfortable, that sort of thing. (I love planning out social interactions in my head before I have them)

(also this is fr the strat bc a) “hey do you want my number?” gives the person a choice and b) if they do say yes awkwardly in the moment but regret it they can always just decide not to text you; it puts the ball more in their court rather than you getting their number and texting them first, that sort of thing)

so that’s exactly what I did. I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, and the interaction went like this:

“Hey, you’re one of the trombone players from (insert local highschool’s upper band) right?”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering, would you want my phone number? :D”

“Oh, I’m actually not looking for anything right now.”

“Hey, no problem.”

“Thanks though. :)”

“Yeah ‘course!”

and then we split ways.

As of today I found their jazz group’s page on instagram (basically, I’m going around and following all the ones that I thought were really good, including his who placed first just ahead of my school’s upper band in second)(we were psyched btw cus their group is known for crushing everyone so being up there second only to them felt pretty good) and I realized he’s probably following them and I actually did manage to find his page, which is privated (oddly enough he happens to be followed by someone who I very loosely know) so it’s request to follow only.

My question is would it be weird to request to follow him? Based on my instagram page and what I have up he might not be able to recognize me but I’m guessing he’ll know it’s me just because of our interaction and the follow request, but I’m not sure if I’d be breaking a social boundary if I did that.

I don’t intend to hit on him or push him for romance or anything like that— I got a clear and polite “no thanks” and I’m not going to infringe on that full stop (boundaries are to be respected always). Blanket statement I think this guy is cool and an impressively good player, I’d legitimately want to see him perform again or possibly be friends (I’m starved for jazz friends) but I’m just reallllyyy worried it’s gonna come off as creepy or boundary breaking to request a follow so I’m not sure if I should or not.

(my logic is that he already rejected a request for communication so requesting to follow him is essentially doing the same thing again and might come off as creepy or pushing it and the last thing I want is to make this guy uncomfortable. on the other hand it could be seen as completely harmless or even flattering depending on the person but I’m really not sure.)

mutuals give me opinions bc I’m curious what you think (also I’d really appreciate it if you picked something other than maybe lmao or left me a comment of your thoughts or smthn like that. I may be overthinking this)

(asterisk is for extra info for the first poll option)

*regardless of your intentions, which he is unable to truly discern, but will probably assume is still romantic pursuit

[aflowerdrops]

Jackson/ever.rot on twin cities metalcore/hardcore scenes, his photography’s technicalities, and more | Interview

Pictured here: ostraca

Photographers are crucial to music scenes, they’ve been important before the advent of and with social media. Last week I had the pleasure of talking to Jackson / ever.rot on Instagram - he’s taken pics of Sunami, Saetia, Jeromes dream, and loads more cool bands. He also does urban/landscape photography. In this interview he talks local music, and dives into the details of how he achieves different looks in his photos - something you’ll definitely find interesting whether or not you’re into photography. He has selected a set of 20 pictures that show the different kinds of pictures he takes, which are included in this article. Keep reading to check them all out! And make sure you follow him on Instagram!! 

Hi there, thank you so much for doing this with me! Introduce yourself to our readers please.

Hi!! My name is Jackson. I’m also @ever.rot on instagram, that’s where I post all my weird, fucked up photos if you’re into that kinda thing. :D

How did you get into live music photography, and photography in general?

I got into photography through a friend I made as I was beginning to get into the local twin cities beatdown hardcore/metalcore scene after moving to Minneapolis (thanks Brett!!). I recently did some exploring with a group of friends all over the rotting state of New Jersey and started documenting everything we found. I wanted to chase this eerie look in the photos I took that I was able to get with just my phone, and after a two and a half hour conversation Brett sent me spiraling down a photography rabbit hole. Since I was already going to shows nonstop at that point and I had friends in bands, it only felt natural to try out concert photography.

Can you talk about your relationship to your local music scene? Did you grow up in/around it? What would you say makes it different from other scenes?

I really didn’t grow up with live music, so I’ve only really been truly seeking it out for the last year and a half or so. Between college and visiting family I’ve been split between the hardcore/metalcore and screamo scenes in both NJ/NYC and twin cities, Minneapolis and St Paul. I’ve met so many incredible people so far, and I’m hoping to make more of an impact as I figure out what the fuck I’m doing with my camera and fingers crossed if I finally get one of these bands I’ve been planning with friends off the ground. 

How do you think photographers contribute or maybe give back to a music scene?

I think while we (me especially) might get in the way here and there and might be a little distracting if we all decide to show up at once and there’s like 10 of us for no reason, photographers at their best are great for immortalizing moments that lets a show live on past the night doors opened. Everyone remembers that one 1988 Fugazi show in Philly because there’s a shot of Guy Picciotto dangling from that basketball hoop. 

bulletsbetweentongues, opposition dolls, grimlitter

Granted, most shots aren’t that iconic. My hope is that, despite the fact I might miss some great moments due to how I take photos and a soul crushing skill issue, I might be able to make that dream of being in a band with all your friends feel a little more real–just with whatever artsy bullshit I’m doing on top.  

The way you capture your subjects is really beautiful. Something about it makes the pictures feel so lively. I find that the energy in your work is super unique. What’s going through your head while you’re taking pictures at shows?

Thank you so much! That’s so sweet!!

Since my photos are so dependent on lighting and I haven’t really relied on flash for concert photography to date, I first focus on how I want to change my white balance settings and how I over/underexpose my photos to best make use of the light I’m given. 

Then, I typically focus on positioning myself where I can best compose my subjects, get compelling angles, and potentially capture something between members of the band or between the band and the crowd. 

jerome's dream, saetia

Last, I try to capture moments. Given how many on-the-fly plans and adjustments go into preparing and lining up my shots, I often just have to get lucky or adjust super fast to get a picture of a big moment if it doesn’t happen exactly where I’m preparing to take a photo.

Doing all of that manually at a show where my subjects are moving and I’m getting kicked in the head is honestly very mentally taxing but god do I love the challenge. 

You also take really cool pictures of landscapes. Are most of these taken where you live/grew up, how would you say that inspires and affects your work? How would you describe the difference between your mindset taking pictures at shows and taking pictures of landscapes?

The few landscape shots I’ve done were all out of a window of a car moving about 70 mph through Wisconsin on two separate roadtrips with no real tie to my past. What motivated me to take them was simply how beautifully desolate the state looked that spring. That’s what separates my band photography from most of the other photography. Whenever I’m not in a music venue, I’m typically seeking rot and decay, in whatever form that may take. 

You told me you don’t edit your pictures. Some of them have an analog/film look to them while some look more modern but they’re all really fucking awesome! How do you achieve/switch between those styles, in the technical sense? Can you describe your overall process for taking pictures, maybe talk about the gear you use? Feel free to include as much detail as you want — I’m sure there’s plenty of people reading who are into photography!!

Thank you!!

I think what separates the analog vs. modern look to any photo is just how I use the lighting conditions at any given venue.

I use a Nikon D100, one of Nikon’s first DSLRs from 2002, which I specifically bought for its old, beautiful CCD sensor and its poor noise reduction. Definitely not because I could find one for $55 on eBay. I essentially wanted something with a relatively high max ISO so I could drown my photos in as much noise as possible, and to date almost all of my photos are taken that way.

I use two lenses. My general purpose is an f/2.8 28mm manual focus Nikkor AIS that some photography forum thread from 2008 told me is Nikon’s best wide angle lens. I trust them. It’s old, made of metal, looks pretty, and survived getting lost and kicked around a Harvest pit. The other is a lensbaby composer with an edge 80[mm] optic, a tilt-shift lens that allows me to selectively focus on other things in frame that aren’t directly in the center of my viewfinder.

I manually adjust my shutter speed and aperture, and I manually focus, so I’ve got all the control to either succeed and capture something sick or fail and end up with an underexposed, out of focus mess. Lots of the latter. 

raein, sunami

As you said, I don’t edit any of my shots (besides adding white borders to fit an aspect ratio) so the appearance of a photo is influenced by choices made before and during the shot. 

As for my process, any band photography I do is reliant on the lighting at the venue I’m shooting at. I’ll typically start by trying to figure out how much I want to under/overexpose my photos, and adjust as needed throughout each set. I don’t use a light meter. Next, I’ll start looking for angles I find compelling. Throughout a show I’m constantly referencing the photos I’ve just taken on my little LCD screen for hints as to what I need to adjust to give me the best chance of getting a usable photo; that probably separates my process of taking photos from shooting film the most. At the moment, I tend to lean towards portraiture but in the future I’m trying to make an effort to capture more of the energy of the room.

(left to right) herlovebeheadsdaisies, knumears, my buddy eric, bloom dream, whenthedustsettles, datura dread, flooding, eyelet, newfound interest in connecticut

Thank you once again for doing this with me! I’m really excited to post this and showcase your work. Are there any projects (etc.) of yours that you wanna promote? And/or if you’re available for work (live show photography for example) feel free to mention that here.

Thank you for taking the time to put a spotlight on my work! At the moment, aside from whatever I end up posting on instagram, I don’t have any other projects to promote. As for work, I’m just an amateur photographer fucking around with a camera. If you like my work and want me to flick you up, dm or email me!! I’d love a photo pass at events.

Follow Jackson on Instagram - @ever.rot 

Written by Mio | aflowerdrdops. Follow us on Instagram and turn on notifs so you don’t miss an update! 

[heaven4lostgirls]

wish you were sober

band!singer!remus x singer!reader

cw: mention of alcohol, teenage drinking, kissing, fluff

being with remus was like sipping coffee whilst the sun rose. he was a breath of fresh air whilst still remaining calm. you had loved him before you had even known that you did.

you and remus had met in your 5th year at hogwarts, you were a half blood like remus however you were a transfer from a different wizarding school. he knew that you were different the moment you stood up and told sirius black to shut the fuck up in the middle of slughorns class. he had fallen not only for your looks but for your wit, humour and somewhat alike shyness you both seemed to share.

remus had first proposed the idea of you joining the marauders band in his 6th year when marlene had decided to focus on her owls and her new girlfriend, dorcas meadows.

you were more than excited to join the band considering you had been at their practices ever since remus lupin had stuck to your side since you joined hogwarts, and their music exceeded words.

you now stood with remus in the front of the room of requirement which had been changed into a concert venue where the boys and you would be playing a brand new song.

‘wish u were sober’ was something you and remus had written and composed together over your late night talks in the gryffindor common room whilst sipping butterbeer and the slight mix of firewhiskey.

the opening of the song started and you and remus faced the crowd as you took a deep breath and began singing

This party's shit, wish we could dip

Go anywhere but here

Don't take a hit, don't kiss my lips

And please don't drink more beer

you felt remus’ eyes on you as he smiled slightly towards you as he started the next verse

I'ma crawl outta the window now

'Cause I don't like anyone around

Kinda hope you're followin' me out

But this is definitely not my crowd

you both held your microphones as you turned to face one another and belt out the chorus

Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now

Knees weak, but you talk pretty fly, wow

Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed

Take me where the music ain't too loud

sudden flashbacks invade you mind if you and remus sitting at gryffindor parties after the end of exams, at the end of the quidditch up and at the end of the year. all around you is flowing alcohol and inebriated people however all you can focus on is the boy who’s lap you’re currently sitting on who’s scars have suddenly become more beautiful than the last time you saw them. your eyes flick to his lips and his flick to yours too.

“can i kiss you rem?” you hear yourself asking

“merlin, you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to hear that,but not like this, not here.”

Trade drinks, but you don't even know her

Save me 'til the party is over

Kiss me in the seat of your Rover

Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

you both continue to sing and finish the song whilst looking into each others eyes. the energy feels electric in the air and the room of requirement feels like it’s buzzing. you can’t hear the screams of everyone around you but you can see remus’ eyes drop to your lips.

you do the same and you can almost feel the tension rising as you both stand panting in front of one another out of breath from belting out the lyrics.

suddenly it alls goes static in your head as you feel a pair of chapped lips on yours. you faintly hear sirius and james yell out in unison and excitement. this. this is what it felt like to be home.

the love that encompassed you and remus in that exact moment was one that you would remember when you told stories to your children and for when your children would tell their children.

music had brought you and remus together, and fortunately nothing could break you apart<3