#it feels very furuba s1 vibes

[asparklerwhowrites]

ohhh shima sousuke makes me so sick. what do you mean he distances himself from the world and goes with the flow and does whatever he thinks will please others because he's so out of touch with his own emotions?

manga spoilers

him and mitsumi breaking up was so sad and simple and the fact that when you're almost permanently disassociated from yourself and feel almost nothing it is impossible to be in a loving healthy relationship. a relationship cant fix you. and sometimes, you can love a person with all your heart and soul and still feel nothing and be tricked by your own mind that you don't really love them. because when smiling and crying and being angry are just. things. they aren't emotions. they arent really what you feel. neither is love.

and if youve neglected your needs and yourself like shima has for years and years youve created a trap for yourself which you cant escape because loving someone means confronting yourself and your trauma and baggage. it means you need to get better and you start to realise that. it means feeling things and thats the worst.

manga spoilers end

skip and loafer is not just a sweet high school drama it depicts extremely unhealthy behvaiour in the way it exists irl. your best friend might be someone who smiles because its the same as not-smiling. things are just routine, its easier to smile and be approachable and make small talk than hole and shut yourself up. this series makes me so sick.