#it feels like some kinda script format
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(Vagueposting but venting because I think it'd be funny)
Me, complaining to everyone on a stage: y'know, it's so weird. I'm so mentally donked but nothing bad has ever happened! Hell, most would be able to describe my life as perfect! And I quite agree, really. I get practically everything I want-
The childhood trauma I try so very hard to forget but never can: 'SUP MOTHERFUCKE-
Me: shoots the trauma 20 times with my obsession and kicks it to backstage
Also me: yeah guys, this is so unreasonable. I think fate fucked up and accidentally gave me a life too perfect so they just decided to slap some anxiety and depression (both undiagnosed but I have some symptoms) onto me so that I can seem human, haha!
#idk#what's this format?#it feels like some kinda script format#idk idk man#this is um#comedy style of#saying “guys look i have trauma too just like you!”#god this is so self centered lol#pov: your main traumatic memory is eating dinner with your family as the favourite child and getting a book ripped#genuinely like this is imposter syndrome³ i think but i think i have it so much i literally think im faking the imposter syndrome too lol
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Can I confess something. Whenever people make text parodies of children's video game adaptation movie trailers (eg when the Mario movie was announced) the corny jokes kind of make me smile for real
#indexed post#i feel like when i see an actual childrens video game adaptation movie trailer its like#Not Good. multisensory assault. the pop culture references are too blatant and unavoidable#but when you just like describe it in a script format it;s just the stupid jokes and it's like aww haha yeah#It would be kinda funny if Toad busted out some crazy dance moves. You got me there
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If you do end up going with a studio offer, will you be able to say after what studios were interested, even if you didn’t go with them? I’m super curious which ones are open to making shows with online pilots because the process seems pretty different!
Assume that it's most
It's not that different of a process. The process as I know it, is you go to them with a pitch. Usually a sample script, a storyboard, a logline or some visuals. It's pretty open and usually however much or however little you feel you need to pitch. If the development execs feel your work aligns with what they're looking for you move to development which can take anywhere from 2-5 years. In development you'll create a bible, discuss the format of the series (number of seasons, number of episodes, 11s/22s, etc.) From there you write the pilot script. Then go back and forth with notes for however long (I've seen people work on the same pilot script for years just because of how slow the development process is and how involved notes are). Then after that you get going on production of the pilot and start bringing on other artists/people to help. In some cases the pilot is fully animated but that's kinda rare to my knowledge. I believe there's some focus testing that happens in between as well. After that, the studio decides if you're greenlit or not and that's that.
My pilot acted as the pitch, script, pilot animatic, some of the general development process and also (limited) focus testing. Because it did well, there's more reason to believe it'll do well with a studio and there wouldn't need to be as much back and forth and notes and changes. It would still be subject to change (and maybe still a lot depending on the studio), but the success does give me a leg up in pushing back on notes.
Having a full pilot done doesn't necessarily mean you'll have it easier or that the process will be different. The only thing having an online pilot might change is how long the process is but that all hinges on how much the studio likes the pilot as is and if it aligns with what they're looking for
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Do you have a process for scripting your design hot take shorts? (I’m considering trying out a similar format for Cookie Run Kingdom design hot takes)
I do, yeah, but it's nothing special. With a few exceptions, the structure I follow are essentially the same as what you'd use for any typical long-form essay: Introduction -> argumentation -> conclusion.
The extreme brevity of short-form video does force me to sometimes combine or compress those discrete steps in odd ways, and I obviously take a much more conversational/casual tone than you would in a formal essay, but my videos are usually pretty consistent in following this general flow.
Lemme post an example, this is my review of the Munna/Musharna Pokémon line. Introduction, argumentation, conclusion.
Bulbapedia has it that Munna and Musharna are based on a Japanese style of censer for burning incense, which, huh, that's interesting, a pretty cool concept and it squares perfectly with the smoke trail from Musharna's head. For my money, I've always felt like they are kind of like the Adventure Time version of Drowzee and Hypno, or maybe there's a little bit of a Moomins vibe to them - like, they're the kind of odd creature Moominpappa would have encountered on one of his many adventures. And as a creature fundamentally of dreams, of the shapeless psychic, a daemon of the Immaterium, Munna really really works for me. Something in its proportions, that slightly odd hump on its back and the gem-like eyes and hanging snout, and those flowers painted onto its side in an almost childish way, it feels like the look of an imaginary friend or some strange creature you would imagine in a fever dream. Not scary or nightmarish, but not quite comforting either, just a little too odd for comfort. Musharna, with the plume of psychic smoke out of its head, continues that vibe, complementing the sleep theme by quite literally just being asleep. Its body pattern also looks a little bit to me like a pajama onesie or a muumuu, something soft and comfortable. I do also like the little tiny trick happening here, Musharna is so curled into a ball that you kind of don't notice that it actually has a longer body with arms and legs and could stand upright, and the moment you imagine this creature actually standing upright, well, suddenly it gets kinda weird and freaky again, doesn't it? They aren't impressive and they don't have a "wow" factor but… genuinely, the more I think about them, the more I become convinced that these are absolutely perfect designs for a dream-themed Pokémon. Grade: S
This isn't nearly as rigorous or extensive as a longer-form essay gets to be, nor is the argumentation particularly in-depth, but you can see the structure of it, right?
Structure and format are also extremely helpful when writing very short videos, it helps a LOT in keeping things constrained and focused. I tend to focus my reviews of Pokémon or League of Legends skins very narrowly on character design, for example, ignoring things like visual effects and voiceover, or movesets and battle stats. Similarly, all my One Piece shorts are structured around finding "the best panel" of each chapter of the manga. Format helps things stay focused and avoid sprawling, and makes it a lot easier to produce multiple scripts for a video series because you can kind of just plug your thoughts into the format without having to invent a bespoke structure each time.
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Re-skimmed through a bunch of Dune Messiah last night because why not and now I am having thoughts:
The thing that sticks with me most is the tone. It's melancholy, it's eerie, it's unsettled and weird. Cannot think of a more pitch-perfect director for it than Denis Villeneuve. He's gonna nail it.
There is...not that much...actual story? Denis has referred to it in interviews as "a small book" and I'm like my guy it is 350 pages. But there are actually not that many plot beats. It's just that every. single. scene. is WILDLY overwritten. The real challenge of adapting Dune is not the giant worms or the dense complicated worldbuilding or the fact that actors have to say the name "Duncan Idaho" repeatedly with a straight face. It's that there are pages and pages and PAGES of internal monologue that have to be externalized somehow for film.
After a re-skim my gut instinct for "how much story goes in a feature film" is that if you just wrote out the dialogue and action that happens in every scene in the book in screenplay format you'd end up with...maybe about an hour of material? Which is great, actually, because it means there is room to add stuff. Like a whole new independent plotline for Chani if they decide to do that.
It may seem insane to add things to an adaptation of what's notoriously one of the wordiest series in classic sci-fi but it's worth remembering that they added quite a bit to Dune Part Two. Most of the first hour of the movie--almost everything before the worm ride except for Jessica drinking the Water of Life--is stuff that isn't in the book. And it's the best part of the movie essential to making the movie work as well as it does. Yes, they also cut elements from both parts (the dinner scene, the whole plotline where Gurney thinks Jessica is a Harkonnen spy, Thufir Hawat's fate, Leto II the Elder, murder toddler Alia) but I understand why each of those elements was cut or changed in the service of cinematic storytelling.
There's an interview (can't remember which one) with Jon Spaihts, the other co-writer of the scripts along with Denis, where he talks about how Dune is like a stage play, with so many of what would be the big action set pieces happening off-page. I kept thinking about that comparison while reviewing Dune Messiah because in addition to the scenes that do exist being wordy and internal as fuck, an absolutely insane list of major events/reveals/emotionally significant moments happen off-page. The list of things that we don't actually see in the main action of the story, that we're only told about after they happen, includes:
Chani finding out Irulan has been secretly dosing her with birth control for YEARS
People trying to capture a sandworm and take it off planet
Chani and Paul finding out Chani is pregnant after 12 years of trying to conceive
Paul flying an ornithopter carrying his extremely-about-to-go-into-labor partner while blind
CHANI DYING (first time reading I did NOT know this was coming and damn near threw my Kindle across the room at the way the information was delivered)
Alia executing a bunch of people including a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother
Paul walking into the desert at the end
You could add all these moments into a scene-for-scene film adaptation of the book and probably still have room to add more material.
The other thing that jumps out is that Paul doesn't really...govern...much. Like there's this whole subgenre of post-Dune/Dune Messiah-era fic that's just some combination of Paul, Chani, Irulan and sometimes Feyd traipsing around the palace having feelings while vague politics happens in the background, but I forgot that Dune Messiah is actually kinda like that??
There is a whole thread of Paul feeling kind of abstractly bad about being Space Hitler but he does not, in fact, actually do anything about it. And like yes both bureaucracies and religious movements can grow to have a life of their own that seems beyond the control of any one person. But also my dude you are the Emperor of the Known Universe. Someone is signing those space checks for the Endless War budget. You are not powerless here.
The one thing that really, clearly drives Paul to actively do things in the plot is not feeling guilty about having unleashed catastrophic religious war on the universe. It is protecting his family. Chani, Alia, his unborn children, and you could probably throw in Duncan by the end. That is what motivates him to act at key moments, and to want to hold on to power. And hey, y'know, if I'd experienced almost everyone I'd ever known getting murdered in a single night, I would probably get a bit intense about that too! It makes sense from a character point of view!
I'm very curious to see how these threads interweave with each other in the film, because the Villeneuve films put a lot of emphasis on Paul's agency and the fact that he may be constrained by shitty circumstances thousands of years in the making, but he still makes choices within that context. I can't see the narrative allowing film!Paul to get away with the same Poor Little Dictator routine as in the book. There are a few ways they could play this but I think the most interesting one is kinda the way they started going at the end of Part Two. Which is that as soon as you start reaching for that kind of power, then power becomes its own end and you will end up doing increasingly horrific things to maintain it. I think it would be quite interesting if the film shows us Paul not just being like "woe is me" but actively choosing to make the world worse because his trauma-driven fear of losing the people he loves makes him cling ever more desperately to power for its own sake.
If they went this route I think it would make Paul's decision at the end hit even harder. FWIW I actually really like Paul walking off into the desert at the end of the book. I think it brings things full circle with his relationship to the Fremen and creates this beautiful arc going back to the duel with Jamis. He first won a place among the Fremen through respecting their customs even though he really did not want to fight and kill someone he had no beef with. And by respecting the Fremen custom of the blind walking off into the desert, he proves himself to be fully Fremen and protects his children not by making them heirs to the throne but by making them Fremen.
And yeah, to a modern audience here on Earth it can look like "Paul conveniently fucks off and doesn't have to raise his newly-motherless children." And we can have a whole discussion about the unexamined ableism of the idea of someone who's gone blind voluntarily choosing death so as to "not be a burden" on their community. But neither of those readings is really the point here. Within the logic of Fremen cultural values, where the survival of the group as a whole is more important than the life of any one individual ("your water belongs to the tribe" etc.) Paul's choice is a willing and intentional self-sacrifice (see also: fedaykin) that wins him huge respect. There's a line in the book about Paul that's like "He would be one of them forever now" and damn if that didn't give me shivers. Like!! The political-symbolic implications!!! Which maybe I'm particularly attuned to because I just wrote a whole fic about what does it mean for an outsider to become Fremen but hmm something something Paul's final* act not being an exercise of Imperial power but an expression of kinship with an oppressed group and that being the thing that's needed to keep his family safe even if he is not physically present with them...IT IS RICH SYMBOLIC TERRITORY.
(*Yes yes I know about events in the next book. Shush.)
This kind of stuff is why I tend to think Chani may start out in a very different place in the story but the end will still be pretty close to what's in the book. It's too thematically powerful and tragic to go any other way.
But also...if they change things around enough that she is still alive at the end of the movie...I won't be sad about it.
#dune#dune messiah#story structure#adaptation#paul atreides#chani kynes#umm#dune messiah spoilers#i guess??#is this really necessarily for a 55 year old book idk
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i have a lot of episode requests i'm working on so i'll make another post with those shortly!
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this is such a fun question — i wish i had an answer! most of my "conspiracy theories" have more to do with certain comedians being misunderstood (in both good and bad ways), as people tend to want to like who they like and hate who they hate out of selfishness that is somewhat at odds with reality. at times. like, for example, not a lot of people want to talk about how many comedians actually didn't like sean lock at all in the early 00s because of how cutthroat and competitive he was on panel shows (mock the week flashbacks, anyone?); we don't enjoy thinking about that because, as fans, we all like sean and think he was a hilarious, honest, decent person. i could talk more about this but tbh defending someone i think people misunderstand or tearing down someone people love is kinda...not the kind of discourse i'm trying to do on this website 😅 anyways, that's where most of my theories lie (that and dating theories? maybe?), but that's not enough to call them conspiracy theories ig? this isn't a conspiracy theory, right? because i so passionately believe everything i said there hahahaha
do you have any you'd share? 👀🌀
i think argumental is probably the most underrated to me, because as much as...no one...talks about shows like duck quacks don't echo and rhod gilbert's growing pains, they've had enough high-profile or just popular-within-britcom guests that people have checked them out even for just one specific episode. but i feel like no one has watched argumental!!!!!!! which, i get it, it's a lot of straight white guys standing around doing fake mainsplaining lol (please remember that before, like, 5 years ago, that's about all panel shows were) but i think the premise of impromptu debate is really funny, some of the formats really bamboozle the debaters which leads to funny banter and improv, and it was so fun to see sean lock in menace mode as host 😋
i can't say it's the best ever made or anything — because, like series like there's something about movies (jennifer saunders i love you!!!!), rob beckett's smart tv, etc it's just two opposite panels answering kinda boring questions — but if you love david tennant and i know you do because everyone rightly does then you should try comedy world cup! he's such a wonderful host and there are a lot of panel show faves as guests
and on the topic of meh-to-decent formats with A+ hosts and big name panels, have you ever tried was it something i said or insert name here? they each have their moments for sure, i think a lot of people wanted to see wisis come back (maybe we're all just obsessed with david 🤷♀️)
you MUST listen to the unbelievable truth if you haven't, it's such a stellar radio show
another required panel experience is the recent series guy mont spelling bee and i'm holding a gun to your head when i say this watch it and watch it right now
as many of you know i'm not a fan of a league of their own but the road trip series are def some of the better episodes so if you like the panelists you can check that out for sure
does that help a little? tbh most of what i WANT to recommend isn't panel shows but scripted series or tangential reality shows (like travel man), but you asked about panel shows specifically so i stuck with them!
i haven't, and i surprise myself because lily savage was so iconic and i am sure i scrolled past her era a bunch of times back in the day. i'd give it a try if an episode had the right amalgamation of guests, so i'll check it out!!
omg there are so many moments from so many series — and i added quite a few to these random panel shows moments posts i did last year so i'll try not to repeat myself — but let me rack my brain real quick...
as i always say THIS is my favourite wilty clip ever and i stand by that
david the tortoise
yoshi the actual tortoise
"if this turns out to be a lie you are a shamless little light entertainer"
tell 'em david!! cuz she really does have horrible views lol
the elephant :/
for the last six months i've been secretly liasing with david's wife behind his bak
obviously the horse story
omg and the THERE'S NOOOOOO UNIVERSITY story
and on the topic of classics this was always my bob mortimer fave maybe because of the genuine awe of the panel in the end lol
and on the topic of genuine awe definitely this one
this miles jupp car crash
bermuda
i love rhod's potato tattoo and it's so funny that denise is like 'why have you got that??' so sincerely she was so astounded lmaooo
i was genuinely invited to harry and megan's wedding today but i said no because i had to come here and do this
i once shared a tent in kent with susie dent
another recent fave is this adorable one<3
oh man anon there are soooo many more maybe i can work on a masterpost of both funny moments funny whole lies/truths, or a youtube video or something (i said i'd get back into making videos). did i mention even one of your faves?? hehehe
omg anon you must watch this if you haven't the ben whishaw obsession is NOT a drill
he also talks about it in his book!
god he's so relatable
OMG I DID the nostalgia...
the way they didn't want to just talk about popworld but they didn't go one whole minute without saying popworld hahahaha they're soooooo cute
richard the popworld horse mentioned!!!!!!!
miquita being a whole child when she got cast for popworld, like it's so wild to think about
"has it been clear from what we've discussed that i'm a reclusive genius and master of cinema?" + "we pretended to be pretentious directors in berets...and i have become that guy now"
i know they were 98% kidding but the 2% of them that would go through with the popworld baby?? CAN YOU IMAGINE
you can't be surprised that a guy who wears false teeth in the name of absurd comedy for a living enjoyed a film about a man who wears false teeth in the name of absurd comedy!
a friend of mine gifted me a while of nordvpn, so that's what i've been using lately, but it depends what you need a vpn for. for example, if you're torrenting and need to seed content (for ratios or whatever), you'll need something with port forwarding like airvpn. if you're just trying to find something to switch between countries' netflixes or abuse streaming services, surfshark is very popular but i'd say expressvpn comes more highly recommended. once you pick the vpn you'd like to use, it's easy to find tutorials on youtube!
aww you're too kind 🥹🫂
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☆ FAQ ➜ PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS • NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS ♥ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource
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Trial 2 - Neoplasm Voice Drama (Side-by-Side English Translation)
Preface: This is a side-by-side translation of Mikoto Kayano's Trial 2 voice drama Neoplasm in which the original Japanese text is directly taken from the official scriptbook. Translating this was a challenge considering how well Yamanaka plays around with the Japanese language to develop his characters, so be prepared for all the translator's notes. Google Docs version of this translation (formatted as an actual script and more readable (in print layout) than this tumblr post). If using/reuploading/reposting this translation, do not remove the translator's notes, do not color code the translations, and do not change the translations. Additional Translator's Notes will be found in the replies. Check the original post before reblogging as TLs are occasionally revisited and edited.
ミルグラム監獄内 尋問室 INTERROGATION ROOM IN MILGRAM PRISON 薄暗い尋問室。 エスが尋問室の扉を開けると、うなだれているミコト。 A dimly lit interrogation room. ES opens the door to the interrogation room, finding MIKOTO with his head down. エス 「……ミコト」 ES: ...Mikoto ミコト 「……あ。やぁ、看守くん」 MIKOTO: ...Ah- Hey, Warden-kun. ミコトが顔をあげる。 MIKOTO lifts his head. エス 「お前、ミコトだよな?」 ES: You're... Mikoto, right? ミコト 「何言ってんの……?」 MIKOTO: What are you saying...?
覚醒したてのような、まどろみを感じている顔つき。 そこで初めて自分の四肢に鎖が巻きついていることに気づく。 MIKOTO has the look of someone just waking up, still in a daze. It's only then that he notices the restraints wrapped around his limbs.
ミコト 「なんか久しぶりな気がするなぁ……元気してた?あれ、なんだ……鎖?やだな、外してよ」 MIKOTO: It feels like it’s been a while… How have you been? Wait- What’s this… Restraints? Oh no- Please take them off! エス 「却下。オマエは危険すぎる。物理的な拘束は必須だ」 ES: Rejected. You are too dangerous. Physical restraints are necessary. ミコト 「ん、えっと……はは、こんな人畜無害な人をつかまえて何言ってんの」 MIKOTO: Oh- Ah…haha. What are you saying, restraining someone who can’t even hurt a fly, right? エス 「やはり、自覚がないんだな」 ES: As expected, you’re still not self-aware, huh? ミコト 「いや、さ。さすがにわかるよ。僕は寝てる間に暴れちゃうんでしょ」 MIKOTO: No- Well… It’s kinda expected that I know. 𝗜’m… the one acting violently while I’m asleep, aren’t I? Everyone’s been telling me Kotoko and I traded blows a lot. T/N: This is the first instance of any first-person pronouns being used by MIKOTO. "I (boku) am the one acting violently while I'm asleep, aren't I?". Only the kanji boku (僕) is used in Neoplasm, unlike in MeMe where both kanji boku (僕) and katakana boku (ボク) were used. エス 「……」 ES: … ミコト 「みんなが教えてくれた。コトちゃんとドンパチやらかしたとかさ」 MIKOTO: Everyone’s been telling me Koto-chan and I traded blows a lot. エ ス 「そうらしいな」 ES: That appears to be the case. ミコト 「夢遊病的な、そういうヤツなのかなぁ……最近眠くなる頻度も高くなっちゃって、いや、はは。困っちゃうよねぇ」 MIKOTO: I wonder if it’s some sort of… pathological sleepwalking thing, y’know? I’ve been sleepy more often recently. Geez… Haha.. It’s a bit of a problem, isn’t it?
さみしげに笑うミコト。 MIKOTO smiles somberly.
エス 「ミコト……」 ES: Mikoto… ミコト 「みんな僕を怖がってる。態度見たらわかるんだ。空気読めちゃうから、僕……」 MIKOTO: Everyone’s afraid of me. I can tell by the way they look at me ‘cause I’m usually always reading the room. 𝗜... T/N: Mikoto says 空気読めちゃう (kuuki yomechau) which has a nuance of "accidentally/completely reading the room" and a feeling of regret. エス「……」 ES: … ミコト 「やんなっちゃうよね、はは。ココに来てからずーっと訳わかんないよ」 MIKOTO: Getting so so sick of it, you know? Ahaha. Ever since I came here, nothing has been making any sense. T/N: This is spoken with a full lean into Kanto dialect, specifically the syntax/phrasing of the younger generation's Tokyo dialect. When he says "here", ココ (koko) being spelled in katakana implies a sense of dissociation from the "here"; the prison location MIKOTO is in at the moment. エス 「……お前は、本当に苦しいときに笑うんだな」 ES: You…You really do laugh when you’re in pain, don’t you? ミコト 「え?」 MIKOTO: Huh? エス 「怒ったり、叫んだりしないんだ。困ったように、笑う」 ES: You don’t get angry. You don’t scream. You don’t understand, grasp things as they are, in difficult situations. You awkwardly smile and laugh like it’s a minor inconvenience. ミコト 「あー。いや、そうだね。僕、そういうとこあるかもね」 MIKOTO: Ahh… Huh- Yeah, you’re right. 𝗜- Maybe that’s just the way it is. T/N: Depending on how boku pronounced, it associates a different image upon its speaker. Mikoto says 僕 (boku) with a falling pitch (boku↘) in this line which gives a childish vibe. Normally, guys his age would use 僕 (boku↗︎) with a rising pitch as it sounds more mature like in previous instances of 僕 (boku). エス 「……」 ES: … ミコト 「たいてい笑って誤魔化してりゃ、上手くいくじゃん。そういうとこ器用だからさ、それなりにこなしてさ」 MIKOTO: Usually, if you just laugh it off to take your mind off of things, it all works out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that sort of thing. With the kind of place this place is, that’s one way to deal with it. T/N: Mikoto speaks with a gobi, an ending particle, which demonstrates voice (a way to express how the speaker wants their vibes to come off as. Ex. masculine, feminine, tough, cute, etc.). Here, the particular gobi is "-teri" which makes him come off as cute; sounding adjacent to high school girl speak. エス 「そうか……」 ES: I see… ミコト 「はは、でも、終わらないんだよね……ここじゃ。身に覚えのないことでずっー」 MIKOTO: Haha, but… it never ends, does it? All of this. Things I’ve never even heard before, being accused of things I have no recollection of— エス 「?」 ES: ?
会話が不自然に途切れる。 The conversation is unnaturally interrupted.
ミコト 「ずっと……!イラつく思いをしなきゃいけねぇ……!」 MIKOTO: —all. the. time. Can’t help but be irritated all the fucking time. T/N: From henceforth, MIKOTO starts speaking in an Edo dialect, otherwise known as "roughspeak". People who speak in this are typically seen as delinquents, uneducated, gruff/rough, etc. エス 「……出たな」 ES: …Look who’s out.
ミコトの表情が歪んでいく。 MIKOTO's expression begins to twist.
ミコト 「おう、まだボコられたりねぇみたいじゃん。看守のガキ」 MIKOTO: Ha? Looks like someone hasn’t had enough of a beating from me. Isn’t that right, warden brat? エス 「……」 ES: …
暴力に対しての恐怖に息をつまらせるエス。 ES holds their breath in fear of violence.
ミコト 「あ。ビビってんのかよ?」 MIKOTO: Ah. Are you getting cold feet? エス 「コトコにやられたくせに」 ES: Saying that like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko-! ミコト 「ハツ、ありゃ不意をつかれただけだ。お前が寝てる間に やりあったが、別に負けてねぇ」 MIKOTO: Heh- It wasn’t anything special, she just caught me while I was a bit exhausted. We went at it again while you were off sleeping and, besides, it’s not like I lost. エス 「……多重人格。今喋っているお前はミコトの別人格という理解でいいか?」 ES: Multiple personalities… Am I correct in assuming that the you speaking right now are another personality of Mikoto’s? ミコト 「まあ、そうなんじゃねえかあ」 MIKOTO: Well, I guess that’s about right. エス 「そうか、お前のことはなんと呼べばいい?」 ES: I see. Now, what would be a good thing to call you? ミコト 「あ?随分普通に受け入れるじゃねぇか。多重人格なんて眉唾モンだろ」 MIKOTO: Ha-? You’re accepting this awfully well. Aren’t the authenticity of things like “multiple personality disorder” suspicious? エス 「あぁ、僕もそんなものが実際にあるとは思わなかった」 ES: Mhm. I never thought that such a thing could actually exist in reality. ミコト 「だよなぁ?オレもそれがオレでなきゃ信じねぇよ。ヒトゴロシが罪を逃れるためのウソだとしか思わねえ」 MIKOTO: Figures. If it wasn’t 𝐦𝐞, 𝙸 wouldn’t have believed it either. I only see it as a lie to escape guilt for murder, y’know. T/N: This is the first instance of this MIKOTO using "ore" with the katakana spelling オレ in the voice drama. In John Doe, the previous voice drama, as well as in Double, "ore" is spelled using the kanji version (俺). エス 「だがミルグラムがお前をそうだと認めている。僕は事実として受け入れ、考えを進めるだけだ。で、なんと呼べばいいんだ名前」 ES: Nevertheless, MILGRAM judges that you appear to be an authentic case. I simply just accept that as truth and develop my thoughts from there. So, what would be a good name to call y—
ミコト 「知ら��ぇよそんなの。好きに呼べや」 MIKOTO: Don’t know, don’t care. Call me whatever. エスは少し考えたのち、 After thinking for a moment, ES says
エス 「……お前を便宜上ジョンと呼ぶ」 ES: Hm… For the sake of convenience, you’ll be called “John”. ミコト 「犬みてぇな名前だな」 MIKOTO: That’s a dog’s name, isn’t it? エス 「身元不明の人物を指すジョンドゥから来ている。気に入ったか?」 ES: It comes from “John Doe”, referring to an unidentified or unknown person. Do you like it? T/N: The name "John Doe" also is associated with unidentified or unknown corpses. ミコト 「知識ひけらかしてるみたいで、いけすかねぇ」 MIKOTO: Can’t say I’m very fond of the way you’re flaunting your knowledge. エス 「……しかし今日は随分と落ち着いている方じゃないか。僕はお前を怪物みたいなものだと思っていたぞ。ここまで話が通じると思わなかった」 ES: …Anyway- You’re acting rather calm today, aren’t you? I’d been thinking that you truly were just some kind of monster. Until now, I didn’t even expect that the conversation would get this far. T/N: "Until now, I didn't even expect that the conversation would get this far" was also alternatively translated into "Until now, I didn't think you could talk this well." ミコト 「調子乗んじゃねぇ。この鎖さえなかったら今頃顔面潰れてんぞガキ」 MIKOTO: Don’t get carried away. These chains are the only thing keeping your face from being smashed in, you brat. エス 「おーこわいこわい」 ES: Ooh- Scary, so scary. ミコト 「フン」 MIKOTO: Hmph. エス 「ジョン、お前はミルグラムの四人ではない。ミルグラムの拘束が効果を発揮しないのが何よりの証拠だ。ミルグラムはミコトを囚人と判定し、別の人格であるお前は例外となっている」 ES: “John”, you are not a prisoner of MILGRAM. The ineffectiveness of MILGRAM’s ability to regulate and restrain you is important evidence of this. MILGRAM judges Mikoto as a prisoner, and you—an alternate identity—are an exception. ミコト 「はあん。なるほどね。それでお前の中で多重人格が確定してるわけか」 MIKOTO: Ahh~ I get it. So you’ve already decided in your head that I have multiple personalities. エス 「だから今日はお前を重要参考人として話を聞ければと考えた。まともに話ができそうでなによりだ」 ES: That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to talk to you today as a key witness. I’m glad to see that we can have a proper conversation. エスの言葉に眉をひそめるミコト。 MIKOTO frowned at ES’ words.
ミコト 「……だけどな。これはいいことじゃねぇぞ。多分」 MIKOTO: But you know what? That’s not a good thing. Probably. エス 「どういうことだ?」 ES: What do you mean? ミコト 「僕が消えようとしているかもしれない」 MIKOTO: Maybe I am trying to disappear. エス 「?」 ES: ? ミコト 「明らかにオレが表に出てる時間が長くなってる。そのおかげでオレという存在が安定してきてる。ちゃんと話せるのはそのせいじゃねえか」 MIKOTO: Clearly, 𝙸 am spending more and more time out in the open. And that influences the stabilization of 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 as an existing being. It might be why I’m at this nature able to talk properly. T/N: When he says "Clearly, I am spending more time out in the open", there's a nuance that オレ (ore) feels like he doesn't quite have control over when he exists due to the が (ga) particle. "Clearly, I (ore) am spending more and more time out in the open. And that influences the stabilization of myself (ore) as an existing being." エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「オレが怪物のままの方が、良かったかもしれねぇな」 MIKOTO: Maybe... it'd been better if 𝙸'd remained a monster. T/N: "Maybe... its been better if I (ore) had remained a monster." ミコトの物言いに目を丸くするエス。 ES' eyes widened at MIKOTO's manner of speaking. ミコト 「なんだよ」 MIKOTO: Oh- What? エス 「思いの外お前が理知的な物言いをするもので驚いている」 ES: You’re more articulate than I expected… I’m impressed. ミコト 「大卒だからな」 MIKOTO: I’m a college graduate. エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「多重人格は何故生まれるとされてんだ?」 MIKOTO: What causes multiple personalities to be born? T/N: MIKOTO is translated here as using the term "multiple personalities" as he likely wouldn't know nor be aware of any other phrasing. The term he uses 多重人格 (tajuu jinkaku) is a derogatory term meaning "multiple personalities" which carries a connotation that personalities/personhood/self-states/egos/etc. are discrete objects that can be stacked and ordered, or a commodity of one's volition. It's a phrase that makes it sound like a person has masks that can be taken on/off/stack. A lot of people (including persons with DID) still do use 多重人格 (tajuu jinkaku) because either (1) they don't know any other term or, (2) it's easier to say and convey the concept of a very long clinical term for DID: 解離性同一性障害 (kairi seidou itsusei shougai). However, some people write it as "DID" instead as it's shorter/easier and also respectful and accurate. エス 「正確には解離性同一性障害という。一般的には苦痛やストレス、トラウマなどから自分を守るためにもうひとつの人格を産み、切り離しをはかるとされているな」 ES: Accurately, it’s called Dissociative Identity Disorder. It’s generally believed that alternate self-states are formed into existence in an attempt to protect oneself and dissociate from pain, stress, trauma etc. ミコトがうなずく。 MIKOTO nodded.
ミコト 「多分。オレは僕の受けたストレスを解消するために出てきてる。オレが長く出てるってことは、それだけ僕が強い��トレスを受け続けているわけだ」 MIKOTO: Hm. Maybe 𝙸 have been out in order to reduce the stress 𝗜 have been undergoing. The longer 𝙸 am out, the more stress 𝗜 am under. T/N: Whenever MIKOTO says オレ (ore), the "I" is formatted as "𝙸". When 僕 (boku) is said, the "I" is formatted as "𝗜"; the closest thing to a Helvetica Neue font (one of the most common sans serif typefaces used in design) capable of being placed in a tumblr post. Why format it like this? First off, author's intent- Yamanaka's intent. Yamanaka could've written オレ (ore) using the placeholder name ES gave him, "John", as a valid first-person pronoun when MIKOTO (ore) is referring to himself, but for some reason MIKOTO (オレ) refers to himself with オレ (ore) and not "John" which could mean that he doesn't personally identify with "John" thus not use it to express his self, or for some other unlisted reason. Why doesn't he use "Mikoto" (ミコト) instead of 僕 (boku), a first-person pronoun, when referring to his other self? Maybe he still identifies with "Mikoto" that he doesn't use the name "Mikoto" as a third-person pronoun or however else it can be interpreted. This is a translation, not a media essay, but still requires media analysis in order to deliver a decent translation that attempts to retain the original author's intent and deliberation as per translation theory. Using a name as a first-person pronoun directs a lot of attention towards the existence of that person as That Person (especially in a high-context language like JP where you often omit pronouns since it's already implied in context, unless you want to deliberately direct attention to a subject), yet Yamanaka deliberately decided to write 09 with only variations of "I"— a subtle way to indicate the different states of self a person identifies with to express themself. In order to translate over that deliberate writing choice into English (where no alternative first-person pronouns exist), different "fonts" were used. An unformatted version of what MIKOTO's line says is: "Hm. Maybe I (ore) have been out in order to reduce the stress I (boku) have been under. The longer I (ore) am out, The more stress I (boku) am under." When MIKOTO says “The longer I (ore) am out…”, there’s a nuance that オレ (ore) feels like he doesn’t quite have control over when he’s “out” due to the が (ga) particle in オレが長く出てるってことは、それだけ僕が強いストレスを受け続けているわけだ
エス 「ストレス。ミルグラムの環境のことだな」 ES: Stress… You mean MILGRAM’s environment. ミコト 「あぁ、特に『赦さない』という判決にな。僕は多大なストレスを感じている。だからオレに預けるんだ、心を」 MIKOTO: Yeah. Especially with the Unforgiven ruling, 𝗜 have been experiencing an enormous amount of stress. That’s why 𝙸’m taking me—heart, mind, and soul—into my care. T/N: *It's not said if there's a specific "Me" that he'll take into his care. Unformatted version: "Yeah. Especially with the Guilty ruling, I (boku) have been experiencing a tremendous amount of stress. That's why I (ore) am taking me*—heart, mind, and soul—into my care." エス 「なるほどな」 ES: I see. ミコト 「無理もねぇ。本人からすりゃ自分に記憶のない罪で責められてんだ」 MIKOTO: Is that too much to ask? The person in question is being persecuted so much of crimes oneself has no memory of. エス 「それが真実なら……実際にヒトゴロシをしたのはお前か」 ES: If that’s the truth, the one who truly did the murder was you? ミコト 「あぁ、オレだ。オレがぶっ殺した」 MIKOTO: Oi. It was me. 𝙸 killed. T/N: When MIKOTO says “I killed” he says オレがぶっ殺した (ore ga bukkoroshita) instead of オレはぶっ殺した (ore wa bukkoroshita). Using the particle が (ga) has a nuance that the speaker feels like they don’t have control over オレ (ore), ore-who-killed. 当然のように話すミコトに絶句するエス。 ES is left speechless by MIKOTO speaking as if what he was saying was obvious.
エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「だから本当に僕はやってねぇんだ」 MIKOTO: So, in reality, 𝗜 didn't do it. T/N: "So, in reality, I (boku) didn't do it." エス 「……何故殺したか聞いていいか」 ES: ...Can I ask why you did it? ミコト 「ムシャクシャして」 MIKOTO: I was pissed. エス 「……誰を殺した」 ES: ...Who did you murder? ミコト 「そこらへん歩いてたヤツ」 MIKOTO: Some guy walking around. エス 「……何人、殺した……」 ES: …How many people did you murder…? ミコト 「記憶にねえ。オレはそのとき初めて生まれたもんでな曖味だ」 MIKOTO: I don’t remember. 𝙸 was a newborn then so it’s fuzzy. T/N: "I don’t remember. I (ore) was a newborn then so it’s fuzzy." エス 「よくも、悪びれずに言えたものだ……」 ES: How dare… How could you say that so calmly- without an ounce of guilt? ミコト 「……」 MIKOTO: ... はぁっと短くため息をつくミコト。 MIKOTO lets out a short sigh. ミコト 「法律でいうと、僕はどうなる?」 MIKOTO: Legally speaking, what’s going to happen to 𝗺𝗲? T/N: "Legally speaking, what’s going to happen to me (boku)?" エス 「精神鑑定で減刑される可能性もあるだろうが、殺した人数によっては死刑は免れない」 ES: There’s a possibility of a reduced sentence through psychiatric evaluation, but, depending on the number of people killed, the death penalty may be inescapable. その言葉に少し焦るミコト。 MIKOTO becomes flustered at those words. ミコト 「いや......やったのはオレだ!僕は寝ていただけだ!」 MIKOTO: Wha- No- The one who did it is 𝐦𝐞! 𝗠𝗲, I was just sleeping! T/N: "Wha- No- The one who did it is me (ore). Me (boku), I was just sleeping!" エス 「......そんな都合良くいくものか」 ES: …It doesn’t work like that. ミコト 「僕の身にもなってやれよ!僕はただストレスに耐えていただけなんだぜ!一人でじっと耐えていたんだ!爆発するまで!誰かを傷つけようなんて考えてなかったんだよ!」 MIKOTO: Try to put yourself in 𝗺𝘆 shoes! 𝗜 endured all of that neverending stress all alone, ironically enough. Patiently enduring and enduring all by myself as one person... until I, in all that I was, exploded. I wasn’t thinking of hurting anyone! T/N: "Try to put yourself in my (boku) shoes! I (boku) endured all of that neverending stress all alone, ironically enough. Patiently enduring and enduring all by myself as one person… until I, in all that I was, exploded. I wasn’t thinking of hurting anyone!" エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「そういうことができ��いヤツなんだ!気使って、空気読みで、周りの顔色伺ってばっかで……そういうことができないから、爆発しそうだったから、オレが生まれたんだ……あんまりだろ。何もしてねぇんだぞ……僕は」 MIKOTO: I'm the kind of person who can't do that sort of thing. I'm the kind of person who can't do that sort of stuff because I'm too busy being sensitive, reading the atmosphere, and trying to see how everyone around me looks at me. 𝙸 was born because of that. That's not too much, is it? 𝗜 didn't do anything— T/N: "I'm the kind of person who can't do that sort of thing. I'm the kind of person who can't do that sort of stuff because I'm too busy being sensitive, reading the atmosphere, and trying to see how everyone around me looks at me. I (ore) was born because of that. That's not too much, is it? I (boku) didn't do anything—" エス 「そうだったとして……ミコトの意思ではなかったとして、人の命は失われている」 ES: Even if it was or if it wasn’t Mikoto’s intention, human life was lost. ミコト 「……」 MIKOTO: ... エス 「中身がジョン、お前だったとして、それを証明する手立てはない。少なくとも裁判で完全に通ることはない。虚言だと判断されることだってー」 ES: Even if the substance of the case was you, John, there are no methods to prove it. At least, it will never pass completely in a court of law. After all, it will be judged as a falsehood, a false statement. エスの言葉を聞いていたミコトが身を乗り出す。鎖にジャマされて、近づけはしない。 MIKOTO, who had been listening to ES' words, leans forward. Hindered by chains, he can’t get any closer.
ミコト 「……お前は!」 MIKOTO: You! エス 「!」 ES: ! ミコト 「お前はどう思うんだ!」 MIKOTO: What do you yourself think?! エス 「僕……」 ES: I... ミコト 「やったのはオレだ!僕はやってない!お前はミルグラムによってそれを知っている!刑法なんてどうでもいい!オマエはどう思うんだよ!」 MIKOTO: It was 𝐦𝐞 who did it! 𝗠𝗲, I didn’t do it! All that you know and are aware of is according to what MILGRAM is saying! Who gives a shit about their alarms and litmus tests for judgement?! What do you think? T/N: "It was me (ore) who did it! Me, I (boku) didn’t do it! All that you know and are aware of is according to what MILGRAM is saying! Who gives a shit about their alarms and litmus tests for judgement?! What do you think?" エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「僕を赦してやってくれよ……やったのはオレなんだ」 MIKOTO: Please… forgive 𝗺𝗲. 𝙸 was the one that did it, okay? T/N: "Please… forgive me (boku). I (ore) was the one that did it, okay?" エス 「すぐには、判断できない」 ES: I can’t bring myself to make a judgement immediately. 自分に言い聞かせるように喋るエス。 ES speaks as if trying to convince themself. エス 「そう簡単に放すと判断できることではない。事実、ミコトの心象風景はあまりに残虐なものだった……『赦さない』そう判断した」 ES: It’s not so easy to be able to decide [judge] to forgive. In fact, the scenery from Mikoto’s mind was so brutal… I couldn’t forgive him. That is what I judged. ミコト 「それは多重人格がフェイクの可能性があるからだろ!僕は本当に悪くない!殺したのはオレだ!」 MIKOTO: That’s because there’s a possibility that multiple personalities could be fake! 𝗜 really am not evil! 𝙸’m the one who murdered them in cold blood. T/N: "That’s because there’s a possibility that multiple personalities could be fake! I (boku) really am not evil! I’m (ore) the one who murdered them in cold blood." エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「オマエなら納得できんのか!朝起きたらヒトゴロシになってるんだぜ!!」 MIKOTO: Wouldn’t you agree if you woke up in the morning and suddenly you’d had become a murderer?!! エス 「オマエを生み出したことが罪といえるかもしれない!」 ES: What you’ve given birth to may be called a sin! T/N: Alternative translation of this could be "What you've wrought forth may be called a sin!" or "It could be said that birthing you into existence was a sin!" The 生み出した (umidashita) gives birthing imagery. ミコト 「なっ……」 MIKOTO: Huh... ミコトは言葉を失い、しばらく考えた後。 MIKOTO is at a loss for words. He thinks for a moment. ミコト 「……多分、オレは僕にとっての理想の自分だ。屈な理不尽や、ストレスに泣き寝入りしない、やり返せる自分だ。オレという人格が生まれなきゃ僕はきっと限界がきて壊れてた……」 MIKOTO: 𝙸’m… probably the person 𝗜 wish I was. A version of myself that doesn’t cry themself to sleep because of stress, someone who doesn’t suffer in silence from injustice, the one who fights back— If this 𝐦𝐞 hadn’t been born, 𝗜 would’ve reached my limit and completely broken… T/N: "I’m (ore)... probably the person I (boku) wish I was. A version of myself that doesn’t cry themself to sleep because of stress, someone who doesn’t suffer in silence from injustice, the one who fights back— If this me (ore) hadn’t been born, I (boku) would’ve reached my limit and completely broken..." ミコトの気落ちした口調に、少し心配になるエス。 MIKOTO's despondent tone makes ES a little worried. エス 「ジョン、お前……」 ES: John, you… ミコト 「たしかに、全部ぶち壊してくれる存在を願ったのは僕だ。一人で立ち向かえなかった僕の弱さが原因かもしれねえ」 MIKOTO: If I remember correctly- Yeah… It was 𝗺𝗲 who wished for a being that could destroy everything. Maybe because of my weakness of not being able to face it all alone. T/N: "If I remember correctly- Yeah… It was me (boku) who wished for a being that could destroy everything. Maybe because of my weakness of not being able to face it all alone." エスを見つめるミコト。 MIKOTO met ES' gaze.
ミコト 「でも、それだけだ。それが罪か?」 MIKOTO: But that’s all. Is that a sin? エス 「……それを考えるのはこれからだ」 ES: …I’ll think about that moving forward. ミコト 「お前と話して、オレがやったことが赦されないことだというのはわかった。それには納得だ」 MIKOTO: I know from talking to you that what I did was unforgivable. That I agree with. エス 「……あぁ、そうだな」 ES: Oh, is that so? ミコト 「……ミルグラムの判断対象は僕......ミコトだな?オレ、つまりジョンではねえ」 MIKOTO: MILGRAM is judging 𝗺𝗲… Mikoto. Not 𝐦𝐞, that is to say “John”. T/N: "MILGRAM is judging me (boku)… Mikoto. Not me (ore), that is to say “John”." エス 「その通りだ」 ES: That’s right. ミコト 「僕を赦してやってくれ。そうでなければ、僕はきっともう耐えられねぇ」 MIKOTO: Please forgive 𝗺𝗲. Otherwise, I’m sure 𝗜 won’t be able to bear it anymore. T/N: "Please forgive me (boku). Otherwise, I’m sure I (boku) won’t be able to bear it anymore." エス 「別の人格��起こした罪は、罪ではない。そう判断しろと言いたいんだな」 ES: The crime brought about by an alternate self is not a crime; that is the judgement you’re trying to tell me. ミコト 「あぁ、僕を赦してくれるなら、オレは消えてやる」 MIKOTO: Mhm. If you could forgive 𝗺𝗲, 𝙸 will go disappear. T/N: Alternative translation that retains the nuances of 僕を赦してくれるなら、オレは消えてやる (boku o yurushite kure nara, ore wa kieteyaru) is: "If you could grant the favor of forgiving me (boku), I’ll (ore) proactively make myself vanish in order to prove my use". In this context, the “-te yaru” (てやる) in 消えてやる (kiete yaru; to disappear) adds that extra nuance of “to (proactively) perform an action so as to prove one's ability to others” エス 「……!」 ES: …! ミコト 「そう、最終的にオレはいなくなきゃならない。全部、全部引き受けていなくなる。オレは僕を守るために生まれたんだから」 MIKOTO: Well- Eventually I’ll have to. I’ll take it all– bear it all, everything and anything, and I’ll be rid of it– Troubles and myself. 𝙸… was born in order to protect 𝗺𝗲. T/N: “I (ore)… was born in order to protect me (boku)." エス 「……そのために、生まれた……」 ES: …born for that purpose… ミコト 「ああ。僕を守るためだったら、オレはなんでもやるんだぜ」 MIKOTO: Yeah. 𝙸 would do whatever it takes to protect 𝗺𝗲. T/N: “Yeah. I (ore) would do whatever it takes to protect me (boku)." 部屋にある時計から鐘の音が鳴り、尋問室の部屋の構造が変化していく。 The clock in the room chimes and the structure of the interrogation room begins to change.
エス 「ジョン……」 ES: John... ミコト 「……何、犬の名前?」 MIKOTO: Mm... What-? Is that a dog’s name? T/N: MIKOTO is no longer speaking with an Edo dialect/roughspeak. エス 「ミコト……?」 ES: Mikoto…? もとに戻っているミコト。 素っ頓狂な顔をしている。 MIKOTO has returned to his previous self. He has a silly look on his face. ミコト 「看守くん、犬飼ってんの?犬種何し?いや、待って。当てさせて」 MIKOTO: Warden-kun, do you have a dog? What breed? Ah- Wait! Lemme guess-
エス 「……」 ES: ... ミコト 「トイプー?いや、意外とブサカワっぽいのが好きかも?フレブルとか?」 MIKOTO: Toy poodle? No- Maybe you like those that are surprisingly adorable and ugly at the same time like a french bulldog! エス 「……違う」 ES: …No. ミコト 「じゃあパグ?」 MIKOTO: That’s it- A pug! エス 「犬の名前じゃない!」 ES: It’s not a dog’s name! ミコト 「ええ……じゃあ何よ」 MIKOTO: Eh? Then what is it? エス 「……お前の、友の名前だ」 ES: ...It’s the name of your… friend. 一瞬間の抜けた顔をしたミコト。 すぐに笑って、 MIKOTO looks stunned for a moment, then quickly laughs. ミコト 「そんな人知らないよお~」 MIKOTO: Pfft- I don’t know anyone named that∼ ミコトの言葉にどこかさみしげな笑みを浮かべるエス。 ES smiles slightly—somberly—at MIKOTO’s words. エス 「そうだろうな」 ES: Of course you don’t. ミコト 「⁇」 MIKOTO: Hm?? 帽子をかぶりなおし、ミコトに向き直る。 ES adjusts their hat and turns to face MIKOTO. エス 「囚人番号9番ミコト。お前の罪を歌え」 ES: Prisoner number 9, Mikoto. Sing of your sins.
#milgram#milgram mikoto#mikoto kayano#milgram translation#milgram 09#ミルグラム#milgram project#MILGRAM Trial 2
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I once read a review of Yellowjackets where the reviewer was saying that Yellowjackets is the kind of show that would be better enjoyed by book readers because of the slow pacing that is not fit for television storytelling and the kind of show that Yellowjackets is supposed to be and while I kinda agree with the guy (especially because I read the scripts and I remember being really entertained by them maybe even more than when I was watching the actual episodes) as a book reader I can also firmly say that our brains know what we're picking up in the moment and adjust accordingly and expects a different kind of entertainment with each media. If I pick up a book, my brain expects the entertainment I get from a book. If I pick a movie, my brain expects a movie. Same with a tv show. And while I love Yellowjackets the pacing really gets on my nerves and confuses me a lot of the times. It could be a book but it's not and my brain doesn't expect it to be. It expects a tv show. Does that make sense? Sorry for ranting in your inbox lol. Just, your recent post reminded me of that review and the thoughts and feelings I had while I read it and I totally agree with you the pacing from S2 and S3 is really dragged out and we still have two seasons left? This could have been a 3 (or 4) seasons show and it would've been amazing. You know how some people say that some tv shows need to go back to the 22 episodes format? I feel like with Yellowjackets it's the opposite. If the season doesn't need more than 8 episodes, don't give it more than 8 episodes. I love the show, I really do but sometimes it really needs to get to the point. You know?
I wanted to wait and respond to this until I could read it and really take it all in but I think I agree with what you’re saying. As someone who writes YJ material, it is def not made for another format. I think the needledrops, the dialogue, and a lot of the cinematography are what make the show so distinct, and those things don’t necessarily translate to written material. More under cut cause this got long lol
Season 1 of the show is just so tight and perfect. They got a lot of the ratios right between balancing the girlhood of the teen timeline with the supernatural and fear factor, and the adult timeline expands so well on the characters that survive and how the trauma affects them.
To me it truly feels like the writers lacked direction with the adult timeline, and by season 3 lacked direction in both timelines. I do understand that it’s easy to critique, but not easy to create. But I’m lost on how they’ve managed to drag the show out this season.
Yellowjackets is NOT a 22episode season imo. Ben’s death shouldn’t have been a five episode arc, and adding more episodes would not have made that worth it. People forget that the 22 episode season has nothing to do with pacing, and everything to do with money. You want a series on cable to run for most of the year, so people tune into your network (NBC, CW, Disney, etc)
Shows like Yellowjackets are EXPENSIVE to make. They’re not shot like a studio/lot show. These casts and crews are on location, there’s a great amount of travel involved, not to mention with having two separate casts with totally different on screen needs. The camera work, the makeup and costuming, and the transport of people and equipment is a massive undertaking. A 22 episode season would be exorbitant, and totally unnecessary because streaming services don’t need to run shows for 8 or 10 months out of the year.
And I think when you have a show like Yellowjackets that had such a perfect first season, saying it needs more episodes later on is not the fix I would advise. If I was a producer or showrunner, I’d absolutely be gunning for killing off more characters, therefore downsizing the ensemble in both timelines. I also think the show works best with suddenness, and it is not a show where any of the tragedy needs to be drawn out across multiple episodes. The 8 episode season works when every episode is about something new. But if your team has run out of plot ideas, then of course you hire Hilary Swank for clout and let a death arc take 5 episodes to play out. You would have thought they were killing Caesar.
#Yellowjackets#Yellowjackets critique#Yellowjackets spoilers#Shauna shipman#Shauna sadecki#Jeff sadecki#Callie sadecki#Jackie Taylor#natalie scatorccio#lottie matthews#van palmer#taissa turner#laura lee#laura lee yellowjackets#Melissa hat#Melissa Yellowjackets#mari ibarra#akilah#akilah yellowjackets#gen yellowjackets#misty quigley#Travis Martinez#Javi Martinez
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How did you get started creating the script project? I think it would be fun to try to do something similar for deltarune, but I'm not sure how feasible it would actually be
the age old tale is "i was writing isat fanfiction and really wanted to get some dialogue exactly right, so i combed through 100% playthroughts on youtube to find the right spot and jotted down what i needed in a document except it got so fucking annoying i contemplated just making a website for it and then i got my grubby mits on both rpgmaker mv and the isat data files and it was all joever"
if it's the actual PROCESS. well. it was a bit of a mess. the first thing i did was make the website itself, hammering out a general layout using the sadgrl layout builder over a whole weekend and an increasingly yelling filled call with my sibling who actually knows how websites work.
you can take a look at this post where i answered what to look out for more in-depth.
i've only played ch1&2 but honestly? deltarune seems feasible. i've seen people datamine sprites from it, at least, it seems like the engine is pretty well documented.
so yah i first figured out i COULD do it, then i made the website + website layout for it (if you know how, you should also hammer out your individual page layout at this point and not wait for other people to show up and do it for you).
then i just took a crack at making a page except my process was fucking horrid, i didn't actually have all the data files nor a proper way to read them (didn't have rpgmaker mv back then, i just looked at the .json files and tried my best, which is why some weird half completed pages were floating around in the site's early days, like the tutorial one from back when). I got tired of this pretty quick and very legally aquired rpgmaker (i actually own it on steam now and i never talked about piracy in isatcord and you can prove nothing and because this ISN'T isatcord i can make blatant euphemisms.)
and at that point i just went at it making whatever scrappy pages interested me. it was a sorta trial-by-fire thing where i got more familiar with rpgmaker and isat in specific as i went along, instead of putting in the effort to figure out how shit works first, because i am just a very learn by doing kinda guy. and that's how it all went along till the legendary hero Gold showed up and taught me github and made everything better and prettier (before this i was pushing every minor change directly to neocities which was especially funny when i was tinkering w the layout so the site just updated twenty bajillion times that one weekend)
for deltarune you'd probably also be pretty chill splitting things by area, and maybe subdividing area stuff into normal/weird route as is the room pages with normal/act5 or something. the battle stuff looks interesting to do with all the act options.
so yeah refer to the linked post for general tips but again for deltarune you do probably have a good shot? just the general stuff, decide how you wanna host it early, make a test page to check out what a page should look like and how to format it, and everything else (like How The Hell Do I Portray Conditionals: the story of how the <details> tag saved us all), but the real obscure stuff is only gonna sneak up on ya when you're already many many pages deep and trying to figure out where one specific variable is increased because the rpgmaker search function SUCKS SO BAD. s192 my fucking nemesis.
best of luck 👍
i'll prolly stop answering questions about this stuff at some point unless someone is asking for smth specific (like how to connect ur github repo to ur neocities or smth) bcuz i feel like i've said all that can be said at this point on the topic. go forth wiki warriors
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im sorry if anyones asked this before but! what's your process for planning out your vns? it might be too open-ended a question but playing malmaid its clear that you have a lot of skill and really have the medium nailed, so like... what does your workflow look like? how do you piece together whatever beginning idea fragments you have into something so coherent and well put together as this? what kinds of things do you prioritize? have you written about your process before?
i should tag my shit better i had to scroll forever to find these
but uhhhhhh i think. i seriously think the biggest misconception is that i somehow know what I'm doing like consistently the moments that people like in my games are moments i wsnt even thinking about and instead i put my effort into some entirely dismissed location.
i dont know what im doing but if i am to point at a skill my skill is the fact that i can in fact complete games and that gives people an opportunity to enjoy them
if you go read my first vns you'll notice they are not malmaid but after having made so many its just helped me build a repertoire of scripting abilities and knowledge on how to express myself in a visual novel format.. ultimately i am kinda writing the same thing over and over again in my vns cause that's just what i like to do
so its just trial and error really while having fun with the process
but yeah theres two other links wheere itry to go in the details but everything is so vague and shifting i might be doing something entirely different for my next game I'm already learning that i HATE planning so much as I've done for NAOMIDA and i have way more fun just winging it like i did with hopeless junction and dddeviance
my notes are actually insane like
lmao
look at these are my current notes and starting baseline for my lina side story in my game
like srly i just throw shit in be it memes or tweets or snippets of my own thoughts i wrote half asleep at 4 am and then figure out the details later and when i feel like my story is clear enough in my brain from shit like this i just start writing it hopping from scene to scene usually writing the fun scenes first and then suffering when i gotta string everything together
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Posting the God in the machine draft/planning thing instead of leaving it in the dog, this ome goes out to You @teruuu
WARNING: Basically crackfic. Messy as Fuck.a bit long. The formatting is ass so i hope u can look past that
NOTE TO SELF Before Accessing boss fights Ludo would have to do some sort of Minigame to unlock the “fight” |||| Note nr2 , Ludo has been posting this "Arg” in bits on their channel, and it's bringing them attention Like One video per uhh Bossfight, with them not going too in depth really, they Do address that tho and mention they’re gonna be doing a full narrative video later on once they figure it out
Chapter 1. Start with Ludo just finishing editing, stirring and complaining about still having a small channel but being kinda meh about it, they appreciate the few first followers they already have. Establish the status quo and introduce the nerds. Something happens with the pc but don’t really explain it
Chapter 2. Narinder Introduces himself and tells the Lamb about what he needs from them and explains a bit.
Chapter 3. Ludo focused. Explore a bit what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling and what they plan to do to help Narinder. They already accepted the deal btw. At some point goatthew comes in and “forcefully” suggests an outing, maybe ice cream or an arcade or smth. (drew some gay shit for this)
Chapter 4. Her and Ludo are still out, and we get some goat thoughts. Maybe she started to notice they seem more down than usual, chalks it up as them being bummed about their channel still being quite small . She’s angry for them and deems it necessary to cheer ludo up by winning them a touy :3. Make this extra gay , Goat being all proud but also half ish being like “oh yeah no big deal but i got you a cutie pie :3 “ (Something something in the chapter she adds , mentally: “like you”) They go home and do their routine of cuddling as FRIENDS because they aren't in love at all and watching a movie till late, then going to sleep to their separate rooms
Chapter 5. Ludo wakes up, does their Morning routine, skipping cooking breakfast bcs they know the goat will bring them something , and almost on queue she enters their room with a yummy ass pain au chocolat. They start up their pc as they are munching, with Narinder expressing his disgust at the need to eat anything, and ludo rolls their eyes and opens their writing program, and start brainstorming ideas as to turn this all into an ARG because they don’t want anyone to panic about the murder ai. Narinder bothers them with a LOT of exposition but at some point they kinda tune him out and finally start writing and examining and all.
Pan to late evening and they're still working at it, whilst Narinder has resorted to just Staring at them, which is totally not freaking them out, so they get up all of the sudden and go to thew’s room, sit on their bed and just close their eyes, whilst Goatthew just looks back, smiles , and the continues filming whatever she was filming. After a good half an hour Ludo’s pc does a lotta noise, which Is Narinder complaining, so Thew turns to them and asks them about what the fuck that noise is , and their response is“Oh probably one of the arg vids i’ve been watching for this new project turned themselves on or smth,,” Whilst theyre totally chill about it but inside are dying
They bolt back to their pc, whilst groaning , and Narinder greets them as soon as they close the door behind themself. “Where have you been, Maggot. You aren’t here to relax, you are here to FREE. ME. You Better be done soon with whatever.. Script. You are working on. And start actually Working to freeing me By undoing these Fail Saves the Scientists Have set up to keep me limited.” “What do you mean by that? Fail saves?” Ludo asks. “They manifest themselves as. What you Fleshlings call Videogame Bosses I believe. Which is utterly Stupid, as any child with any cognitive skills could get past.” “... then why don’t you do it yourself?” Silence fills the room, besides the soft whirring of the pc fan. “YOU DARE QUESTION ME. YOU INSOLENT BEING.” Narinder’s voice is booming. “N..Not really? I’m just curious? I mean i suppose by defin-” Narinder raises his cloth (that functions as his hand, its kinda explained in the uhhh chapter 2 in his description) “You Won’t be referring to me with such a tone Ever again, Maggot. .. But I suppose It is because an external being has to get past the Fail Saves. For Extra security. They Knew I’d be capable enough to figure it out Myself if we excluded that factor.” Ludovico slowly nods along, as to not further anger the being. “You should get started on that, Flesh.” The lamb nods and moves to the monitor currently unoccupied by Narinder, in order to start attempting to figure out how to proceed.
Chapter 6. Medias res beginning of the chapter. We cut to the lamb, huffing and struggling to beat the Boss Narinder talked about. They have been at it for a whole day, it is now around 4am. Ludo is usually really skilled at video games, but they find themself in much more difficulty than they usually would, even when playing extremely difficult games. This Boss appears to be way more Dynamic, not actually having a pattern it follows, instead being completely chaotic, almost never repeating the same attack. “AUUUUHHRRrrr…. I’m SURE i almost had it..” “You did Not.” Ludo glares at the monitor Narinder is on at the moment. When they are met with an unamused stare from the being, Ludo sighs and turns back to their screen. Narinder suddenly hides,and Ludo barely has any time to process that , as their door swings open revealing Goatthew holding some bags of food (still gtta decide what ludo’s fave food is) “Hey nerd, ya haven’t eaten all day. I-” She comes in and sits on their bed. “-I Know you can get very into your projects, I understand that, but you gotta remember to eat buddy”. Ludo frowns, they hate making goatthew sad but can’t help it sometimes “I’m.. sorry Thew, i didn’t do it on purpose..” “I Know ludo, but you gotta take better care of yaself ! “ she pauses, gets up from the bed leaving the food bags there. She nears ludo and puts a hoof on their shoulder. “I.. worry about you if ya don’t. I want ya to be healthy , buddy.” Ludo stares at her, wordlessly admiring her, almost forgetting about the pang of guilt that assails them at the knowledge that Thew was really worried.
then they make out sloppy style /j (you fuckin wish huh)
Thew recognizes this as a sign of Ludo agreeing with her (which would be true, but also much gayer than what you believe, thew) and tugs lightly at their ear, smirking as Ludo lets out a huffed laugh “Come on Lu, let’s go watch one of your silly musicals whilst you eat your late dinner / Lunch or whatever.” She turns to walk away, being closely followed by Ludo “
You know Ludo is already a shortened version of my full name, right? Ludovico? Thew?” She barks out a laugh “Yeah i Know, it’s funny to shorten it even further”
Then Thew proceeds to pick up Ludo by their waist, hoists them up to their protests and immediately tosses them on the couch to the effect of turning Ludo in a giggling mess, andthen Goatthew proceeds to flop herself on top of them, careful to not put her full weight on them.
Little does she know Ludo wouldn’t mind that what who said that. (traduce this in Ludo catching themself thinking this and being flustered)
Small timeskip to like 8am, Goatthew still being awake, looking at Ludo sleeping peacefully. “what’s gotten you so invested this time huh buddy? It must be a really good one if you forget food a whole day… Works for me tho, I’ll just take care of you if you don’t.”
Chapter 7. Something something we go back to ludo finally defeating Leshy’s boss and start to write on their script, putting notes next to the script (“Phrase this and make it seem like this all is an obscure game related to the ARG or smth”)
Narinder insulting and demeaning ludo ensues.
After a small timeskip, its about lunch time and Thew burst in, Bringing ludo some food that they first thank her for and immediately dig into it, as Thew makes herself comfortable on their bed as she too eats her portion she brought with herself. They chat about how Goatthew’s video is going and whatever. An other cut,waylater into the night, with ludo grinding away af the heket boss, to which they’re actually having an easy time since Her boss Is way more Brute force centered and Ludo’s having a way easier time dodging attacks and countering and all. THey get it done after 2 more tries and raise their firsts up, almost Letting out a loud “WHOOP” but stopping themself as to not wake up Thew, who after they shared dinner insisted on staying in their room whilst doing something else to not go insane
(PARALLEL PLAY WHOOOOOO AUTISM WINS <3)
From here I'm gonna start writing JUST the premise of the chapters not in detail
Insert here the angst you have pretty much memorized atp, do it later tho (sorry i like. Forgot to write this one but ill link the art that is vased off of the idea. That i could write one day maybe.)
[Linked here]
Chapter.8
Goatthew Pov, Her taking care of Ludo for the time they require to recover, which is 3 days. notes on how the usual cuddles feel different, more somber but also way more intimate, somehow even more intimate than the literal usual. She has to fight off the urge to squeeze them and give them a forehead smooch a lot, because it just
Feels different.
Chapter.9
Ludo still kinda feels blegh but does have to fight the rest of the bosses to free Narinder. Somehow manages to actually first try Kallamar’s Buller Hell (because ofc he’d have a bullet hell)
Narinder Is pissy af and bragging or whatever but Ludo completely has him tuned out. They want to approach Shamura’s but also they are intimidated about the finalityof it all, what would happen after Shamura’s defeat.Ludo ends up beating Shamura After a few attempts, not as late as 3 am tho, like around uhhh idk, late afternoon???
Narinder Is very Happy, all ready to finally access his body and Pitches the idea to the lamb to go NOW to the science center. Ludo is against the idea, they want a break, so Narinder reluctantly agrees.
At dinner, whilst they sit on the couch and watch tv and eat, Ludo tells Thew abut what narinder said and She’s like “Idk buddy, this is getting really freaky and dangerous sounding,,” But ludo’s like Yeah but It’s gnna be such a good narrative.
Plus they want to pass it on as a urban explorer collab with Thew or smth.
Timeskip to tomorrow, they are now traveling to the uhhh lab area, with Narinder somehow transported into a uhhh key? those fuckin keys idk how theyre called and idc to like look it up rn AND they enter the building, , see a big pc litten up or smth and they look at each other, then plug the key in annnnd cut
Chapter 11
Maybe the finale? (write it down tomorrow)
It is way past tomorrow, writing time
OK SO I'm thinking. Narinder pops up on the screen briefly and Ludo looks at him
expectantly, awaiting a speech from the known monologuer (His ass LOVES
monologues) but instead he just cackles, cheshire smile wide spread and
disembodies himself.{"As they looked down to the left they saw a (insert thing here)"}
We pan to the uhh a capsule/box/whatever i don’t know as it twitches and slowly
comes to life, falling over and catching itself before it actually reaches the ground.
Whirring from the machine can be heard, as it hadn’t been perfected yet. Its robotic
arms not covered by the same protective shell that covers the rest of the robotic
body, wires tangling around the metal skeleton somewhat imitating vines.
An odd, gargled chuckle comes out of the robot’s speaker as it pushes itself up,
whilst the two flesh bipeds back off leaning against the wall, intimidated.
Narinder fully stands up now, he turns (slowly, dramatic ass bitch) to face the lamb
and the goat. “Fleshlings. I thank you for your service. You have aided me in finally
reaching my goal of having a body and Finally putting my extermination plan in
action.” He takes a step closer to the two, with Thew hugging Ludo protectively.
"However, despite how grateful I am-" Narinder's robot body looms over them. "I'm
afraid I cannot let you walk Free, your deaths will be Merciful though: Quick,
painless, and free of your Mortal sickness."
Ludo shuffles a bit, freeing themself from Goatthew’s grasp, putting themself in front
of her. “Wh wait hold on man, this? This wasn't part of the deal??-” They take a step
forwards, staring up at the Robot in an act of bravery (Or maybe foolishness would
be more correct)
I dont feel like going too much in detail rn actually this isn’t a problem for Now me !!
I’ll just write down the main beats
Ok so Narinder is like “Lol too bad actually. I do not care you will die here today
teehee” and goatthew is like Hell naw so she lunges at his ass and starts fighting
him, whilst ludo glances at her rq and their gazes meet and they wordlessly form a plan plan, with Ludo runnin back to the big pc and starting to analize it, trying to find a
way to suck narinder back into the enclosure and trap him on the internet again. SO
now i'm thinking some sort of Pony island inspired Bossfight, probs somethin like
uhhh Baalzebub in that game , so like his consciousness is divided between fighting
physically AND digitally. At some point Nari flings goatthew by the hand , with her
slamming against the wall. Ludo turns to the thud, worried expression on their
features, but quickly focuses back onto the pc.Narinder approaches slowly, armsLike this . Something something “ Stop fighting it lamb im gnna win, just give up and
accept ur fate” and ludo’s like HELL NA IM GOING TO KICK UR ASS So nari rushes
forwards, going to grab them by the scruff?Hood? whatever. But he stops, bcs he
heard some steps. “What are you doing, dear Narinder.” Its Shamura DUN DUN
DUUUN
“Shamura.” He hisses (because of the slightly defective robotics in his body)
“Narinder. Step back.” Heket says, lookin as menacing (and as handsome) as ever
(BUTCHES HEART HEART) (Sorry being sleepy makes me gayer)
Something something Shamura starts going on a rant about how they oh so cared
about narinder , like a brother, so nari interjects and is like “YOU WERE THE ONE
THAT IMAGINED IT ALL. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO FABRICATED THIS-” He
gesticulates angrily “THIS FAMILY FACADE. YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME
THAT WAY . ANd it doesn’t matter. It never did. You shall all die. You brought me into
this world and I will take You out of it.” and theres a scuffle, with Leshy tearing
Narinder’s protective plates off with his claws, Kallamar bringing out a taser and
hitting him with it, Heket coming in with a WICKED and RAD punch that dislocates
his maybe jaw???? And In the meantime Shamura rushes to Ludo’s side, Helping
them finally defeat the fuckin narinder boss and starting up the program to get outNarinder from his body. Narinder whizzes and buzzes, so in a desperate attempt he
lunges towards ludo and shamura, withered foxy style, but doesn’t get far bcs
Goatthew clutches and puts herself between the they/thems and decks his face ,
making him fall to the ground, and as he tries to push himself up, his
eyes/visor/whatever i come up with in the design turns off and he stills and falls over.
Ludo sighs and briefly leans over the desk, then immediately bolts to Goatthew and
hugs her hella tight and sobs or smth, and uhh they have a silent moment, the
scientists cooing at the display and then the moment is interrupted by the fuckass
cat, but this tim he has a smaller voice, so they look at the pc and they see he turned
into a way smaller and cuter version of himself, kinda like a Shimoji or smth and they
all cackle, whilst Shamura attempts to explain they did this real fast to finally make it
so bitch cant be taken seriously AND he is now tied to the pc he is in currently.
and BAM idk how to finish the chapter besides Ludo and Goatthew leaving and
waving at the scientists
Chapter 12/Prologue
oh my god!!! they are going to be happy???
I’ll come up with the prologue as its time comes
All i know is now ludo has a big channel as well, with the whole video abt the “ARG”
being the catalist of their fame, with both of them having decided to keep pretending
it was all an Arg, a very complex one tho.
and then uhh probably confession? like silly and awkward and its all fine tho because
they are so comfty with each other and they go on a cafe date and BAM DONE YURI
I am SO sorry about the shit formatting guys i really am
#long post#god in the machine au#goat x lamb#goat x lamb yuri#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl goat#cotl heket#cotl shamura#cotl leshy#cotl kallamar#:3#cotl au#all for ya teru#<- the (AUTISM WINS WHOOP) got them Real bad guys
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I just finished the Cult finale and I wanted to join the chorus of people saying you did an amazing job!
I'm always so impressed by how well you adapt the game's feeling of dungeons to a narrative format -- the cavern + temple the cult's occupying had such a well-defined sense of place, and it was so cool to see musically accessed entrances make an appearance.
Finding the master sword was so satisfying to read too, and was such a perfect way to cap off Link's acceptance that he was, in fact, the hero, but I think getting to see Rilla speak out was the highlight for me. Seeing characters grapple with what the right thing to do, and then making themselves do it, is always my favorite and you did both halves of that arc so well!
And even though the cult landed in obviously terrible places with it -- as cults do -- Farore being greater than the other Goddesses is such a fun idea to play with. The fact that Link's courageous and also solves a ton of riddle and puzzles (Wisdom) and also vanquishes powerful foes so must be powerful himself lends the idea real plausibility -- Her champion can do all three, so it does kinda seem like Courage might be the best. Don't worry, you haven't convinced me to go live in a commune in a run down swamp temple, but I appreciate how much thought clearly went into how the cult was going to go off-script!
Congrats again on wrapping up this arc, and doing it with such panache!
P. S. I hope your allergies and headache let up soon
Thank you!! :D
I always enjoy working out a dungeon-like area in fics, even if it's one Link doesn't get to run around in very much. I figure if this was a real game, there'd probably be some more sneaking portions where you'd explore a little, more like the Yiga clan. But maybe not. It'd be fun to figure that out! And yeah I had to put a musical entrance, that's such a Zelda thing!
(I also have a tentative map for the temple I had in mind while writing, I might show it if people are interested?)
The Master Sword twist was something I've had planned for a while, I couldn't wait to get to that part XD I'm glad it turned out so satisfying, I had such a clear picture of it in my head. Wish I could draw it, heh. But yes, it did make a good cap to Link accepting his role! I think I've decided this all happens not too long after Ganon is freed and Zelda gets captured, so Link isn't feeling too great about himself. So a lot of what happened here was actually good for him, to some degree (...obviously not all of it though 😅)
Rilla's speech took me SO LONG. Half of the reason this part took so long was because I kept waffling on how that all went down. How far was too far? Would she be met with instant oposition? How many people were willing to hear her out? What should she say? It all turned out nicely though, and I'm happy with the result.
Honestly that's a good point. I've always thought of it as like, even though the Hero is technically only associated with courage, the fact that he often has other aspects of the triforce is a show of his character. I mean, in skyward sword Link was forging both the master sword and himself, and had to go through three temples that more or less show his strength in all three areas of the triforce. He may be Farore's chosen... but I think in some ways he's all the goddesses' chosen. He is sometimes called "the hero chosen by the gods after all."
But that's mostly speculation and rambling, heh. Thanks! I put a lot of work into it.
And thanks for the well-wishes also, my headache is finally easing, I'm much feeling better then I was :)
#i still feel Off but less dazed lol#I took a long time answering this to make sure it was coherent#i think i got all the typos#hopefully it makes sense XD#answers from the floor#lovely vaegtersang#swamp link
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Max! Can you please recc some pedrigavi fics? Xx
"max can you recommend some pedrigavi fics" MY BELOVED WUNGI YOU ARE ASKING IF THE POPE IS CATHOLIC!!!
best friend i truly think ive read every completed non smutty pedrigavi fic there is 😭😭 however i have this habit of not bookmarking shit so my memory is all i have to go off of lmao.
starting off strong w something written by MY GOAT is i'm stupid for your love by the bestest, @tl-trashtalk. tell me rn that theres anything more romantic than dedicating a goal to someone. i'll wait. very cute very fluffy. what more could you want.
another one i wanna recommend is 10 Firsts by OsByLynn. i read it almost a year ago so my memorys kinda fuzzy but i remember it being rlly cute!!! its a buncha firsts for the couple, like first kiss, first ily, etc n its SO sweet n fluffy n adorable. plus theres a WEDDING n i am a SUCKER for weddings. i'd argue all fics should have a wedding. every single one.
another fic i wanna mention is i know my pain is such an imposition by aesthetes. it follows gavis recovery, n again i wanna reiterate that i havent read it since it came out in december so my memory is KIIIINA ass but i remember it being SUPER sweet. plus the title is a taylor reference so. immediate brownie points.
oh n i GOTTA MENTION Promise me? by Jellyyfree. it features ace gavi n yall KNOW how much i love ace gavi. the projection goes crazy w this lil guy.
my baby here on earth, showed me what my heart was worth by nehvermind is jus so cute. the boys are so in love n they have the cutest lil first kiss. feels very nervous, all-consuming teenage romance. well not that i would know. but probably.
OHMYGOSH i jus GOTTA mention Days When You and I by @itsjustthatfics. ohmyGOSH i could wax poetic abt this fic all day. EASILY one a my favorite pedrigavi fics. the story is so well written n cute n funny n the format oh the FORMAT. its in a script / screenplay (idk if those are interchangable so film majors pls forgive me) format n i LOVE it since i like,,, visualize things in my head as a movie?? if that makes sense?? anyways yeah mandatory pedrigavi reading.
would you still love me? by arianagrandebrainrot is v funny n v cute. revolves around an important, relationship make-or-breaking question. feels like a conversation these two would have.
oh n as an obligatory plug theres my fic i want to be loved (not to be touched). but if we're being honest w ourselves this is less pedrigavi n more gavi being sad while simultaneously being in love w pedri.
ok i think thats it. its late n im v tired. thank you SOSOSO much for this ask tho wungi cause i can talk abt pedrigavi for BREAKFAST LUNCH N DINNER.
#IF PEDRIGAVI HAS ONE FAN ITS ME!!! (says a woman whos written one (1) pedrigavi fic)#ty for the ask <3#gavi#pablo gavi#pablo martín páez gavira#pedri#pedri gonzalez#fcb#barcelona#fc barcelona#spain nt#pedrigavi#wungi
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Talk Your Way Out! (Cancelled…)
Well, not exactly…
Prologue Part 4: Queen’s Pursuivants.
Well yeah I knew this was coming-NUH UH THAT AIN’T MY PLAN-
Yeah so I realized that this project ain’t going well, considering the fact that:
1. The script is very messy. YEAH I placed so much good ideas for the upcoming chapters but it feels like it was smooshed in and not well explained. The timeline isn’t explained as well, seeing that people didn’t notice the timeskip between Part 1 and Part 2.
2. The characters are not well put out. I didn’t really explain why they were acting out of character and the readers can’t symphatize well with these characters as they don’t know what the purpose of the scenes are for. Characters are out of character for no reason as I didn’t delve into that until further chapters, which in this case will still make people confused. They can act like they are, but I gotta give an explanation for it, which I failed to do in the current prologue.
3. Many people find it confusing rather than enjoyable. I’ve received lots of feedback on how it was ordered or how the story flows. Basically responding to the feedback and thinking about it more; ya, it is confusing the more I reread it. So yeah, that’s one of the reasons.
4. The execution isn’t as great as I thought I did. People got confused between chapters ‘cause the thought bubble wasn’t really recognizable (my indescribable art is pouring towards the story plotline ☠️). Some scenes are also not portrayed well as I lack the ability to show their positions on where they’re at or what situation they’re in (still kinda bad with that atm, will change soon). Expression and dialogue-wise it’s fine, but I didn’t like how I was using similar formats for the panels or some expressions seemed repetitive. Same goes for the speech bubbles. I still like the dialogues tho.
5. Not much recognition. Ya okay this is probably the least important part of what I want from this project. Yeah okay I admit it that’s also a reason I stopped this project. From the first part to the two other parts, it stopped getting that much attention and I felt like there’s something that’s making people lose interest. I spam reblog as a result, which I regret doing. This is why I even thought about ‘cancelling’ the project.
6. Wrong timing. Always posting it on dead hours, or when the fandom ain’t active. Too impatient, pretty sure. I promote it way too much with spam reblogs, which I still regret.
I changed my reasoning from ‘likes and reblogs will make me famous’ to ‘I need this community to provide feedback so I can improve myself as I grow and eventually get accepted in the ‘big artists’ community from now on.
I’m learning from my mistakes, and basically something for me to experience so I wouldn’t repeat again. So at the moment, it is cancelled…
BUT.
I never said it was cancelled with a period ;)
Stay tuned for my next few posts as it’ll revolve around this situation :))
While waiting, have some scenes of the aforementioned Part 4. I specifically like this part ‘cause I think it potrays these two a lot better, I just didn’t explain why Toadster was acting the way he is, which is repulsive and mean. I’ll be explaining that in my next few posts (No, I don’t ship them btw, I rarely ship characters unless it’s canon in the lore).
As for the deleted posts this morning, I figured it wasn’t the best time to post it, so expect it when the fandom is active again. See ya!






#Talk Your Way Out!#announcement#cancelled project#art#fanart#small artist#traditional art#garten of banban#garten of banban fanart#garten of banban manga#garten of banban comic#artists on tumblr#bittergiggle#bittergiggle fanart#sheriff toadster#sheriff toadster fanart#manga#manga panels
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Mirai Days: MahoPre was better
I always thought that the terms "second season" and "sequel" could be used interchangeably.
But now I see why they shouldn't. In the case of Mirai Days, it's definitely more accurate to call it a second season of MahoPre rather than a full-fledged sequel.
A sequel would come with expectations to do better than its prequel and actually rise up to that challenge.
Season 2 (3, 4, 5, etc), on other hand, just continues from where the previous season stopped.
Of course, that's not to say the next season can't be better because that does happen for a lot of series.
But I dunno. Surprisingly, these 12 episodes got me doing the opposite of what it intended. I appreciated MahoPre a lot more because I found Mirai Days quite dull to sit through.
And it's weird because I wholeheartedly agree with Mirai Days' message to not be so trapped in the happiness of the past that you can't face the future.
The writers had a great idea to work off of with that moral. But the execution of it was poor and it kinda showed in how halfhearted everything felt in between the first and penultimate episodes (I say penultimate because half of ep 12 was just fanservice).
The production quality was all over the place (look at that screencap above, and it was for the finale too), the script was lacking in innovation and the plot basically lifted the format of the first season and condensed its story into one cour.
I can't be the only one who noticed, right?
For the first half of Mirai Days, Mirai and Riko were responsible for looking after Hisui just like they did they with baby Ha-chan.
Ire was the main antagonist for those six episodes, then got booted out by an even bigger villain (Chronosto) just like Dokurokushe and his minions got replaced by Deusmast and its kin.
At this point, Hisui disappears back into Ha-chan so that Ha-chan can finally enter the plot just like how Ha-chan evolved from her baby form to become Cure Felice and join Miracle and Magical in MahoPre.
And then the rest is history. They defeat the evil boss (Deusmast/Chronosto) for good, go through a temporary separation (6 years in MahoPre, maybe 5 minutes in space??) but reunite in the end.
Honestly, doing something similar isn't a bad thing but like I said with the updated transformation sequences, it can come off as uninspired if it's too much the same.
Moreover, Mirai Days didn't have what MahoPre did which was all the heartwarming moments and development that were spread out across 50 episodes, making the overall viewing experience of the first season feel more fulfilling.
I think Mirai Days could've benefited by showing more of the girls' growth into adults but in a different way than OtonaPre where the Yes5 girls were already established in their adulthoods.
For example, instead of having Riko take off from teaching to be full-time magical girl for a few weeks, they could've explored the difficulties of her being a teacher in real time instead of in flashbacks.
Mirai as well. It seems college is almost inconsequential for her. She's shown to be attending as she's expected to for her age but we never get any idea into what her major is or what her dreams are now that she's 20. That was one of the flaws of her character during the first season but could be forgiven since she was only 13 at the time.
Now, well, it's nice the best qualities of her haven't changed but you still gotta show more changes than just getting older, y'know.
(I'm not going to include Ha-chan in this discussion cuz she's a mother friggin' goddess so she can do whatever the hell she wants 😂)
As for Mirai and Riko's relationship which is the main selling point of this show, they could've kicked up some drama there as well. With scheduling conflicts, work/school-life balance, different careers or goals leading to different lifestyles (that cause those scheduling conflicts), etc. I find that much more interesting to delve into than watching the same old formula that we already get in the main tv series (btw, just wanted to say that KimiPre is very good so far 😉).
Admittedly, that might take time away from the magical girl part which I know we must keep because it's still Precure, after all. But you can certainly think of more creative ways to portray that without compromising the newer aspects of a new story.
I mean, one of the reasons I liked OtonaPre so much was how the writers were able to integrate Precure duties back into the Yes5 (and Splash Star) girls' responsibilities without completely disrupting their own lives.
In Mirai Days, the Maho girls pretty much had to drop everything to chase down monsters so the outcome became predictable and therefore, was no longer exciting.
Yea, we did get bits of slice-of-life here and there but I stand by my argument because scraps aren't enough for me.
Then there's the new cast, who were quite underused.
Sometimes the antagonist is what makes a story. Since the girls were probably not going to contribute anything drastic to the plot on their own, you'd have to rely on an outside factor to come in and shake things up a little.
Ire could've been that, a complex villain (way more than Chronosto, that's for sure). He already had a somewhat sympathetic motive to drive him towards malevolent deeds and could've been been set up for redemption but it seems the writers lost interest in him and took the easy route with the more generic villain.
Next is Hisui. Even if she is meant to be Ha-chan's successor in the future, they could've done a bit more with her as well. Fleshed her out into someone more distinct of Ha-chan.
But nope, she was mostly there to be Ha-chan's temp placeholder and to prove that Ha-chan can reincarnate like Mother Rapapa did, that's all.
So I'm not sure why they wanted to promote her so bad at the beginning when her character is just standard at best and barely memorable at worst.
Finally, for all the razzle dazzle explosions in the finale, it was rather narmy.
Even more cringey than "Sapphire Smartish" which on the bright side, wasn't shown but on the down side, wasn't shown so we don't get an upgraded Sapphire attack, aww 🥺
But yea, I dunno. Maybe because I'm watching Precure on a regular basis that I no longer find the magical part of the magical girl genre special anymore.
So it's becoming harder for me to be impressed or pleased with most of what the studios put out these days. Especially if the producers choose guaranteed profit through fanservice and favoritism (yea-huh ⤴️) over potentially better storylines.
At least I'm handling the disappointment better than I would have two years ago but...it's still sad knowing I'm always going to expect disappointment going forward ☹️
Anyways, overall, Mirai Days wasn't terrible. It was just passable.
If you enjoyed it, great!
But if you didn't, that's fine. It's not the end of the world.
Can we expect more adult Precure seasons in the future after this, though?
Well, I certainly hope so. Mirai Days may have been a miss for me but that doesn't mean others won't be a hit so it all depends on how Toei approaches their next projects in this area of the franchise.
Precure is currently the biggest active magical girl series in the world. It would be a waste if they didn't take it as far as it can go.
#mahoutsukai precure#mirai days#asahina mirai#izayoi riko#hanami kotoha#mofurun#cure miracle#cure magical#cure felice
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sodapop headcanons!
hi outsiders tumblr fandom!! i'm a major fan of the musical and got to see it over the summer, but i've had the honor of playing Sodapop in the play version this last fall! i just figured i'd share a collection of characterization/characterwork/headcanons (except to me it's kind of canon?) thoughts!
feel free to ask any questions! some prefaces about our production (mostly director's choices)!
we casted genderblind, our pony and darry were played by girls!
soda did get sandy pregnant.....it wasn't cheating
the year is 1964! (this one isn't insanely relevant)
the curtis house was two stories (this will make sense later...) so first are some random character thoughts (mostly canon)
100% a momma's boy (ex-momma's boy...)
sticking to canon that he worked at a stable when he was 12, rip Mickey Mouse
quite the caregiver, in the sense he is incredibly emotionally intelligent (especially when it comes to his family)
very lighthearted person, walks through life that way
adrenaline junkie, consistently trying to enjoy life and have fun
emotionally vulnerable, but puts others first out of fear if he opens up too much he might not be able to stop
violently passionate and loving, viscerally supportive. ultimate loverboy
he isn't stupid! he just struggles to learn in the format school teaches
much more street and people smart
prideful but definitely fairly polite
confident in himself! though he holds insecurity in being dumb, since he's only regarded for being a looker...many many instances where he's been flirted with at work but is so oblivious because the comments are so common
puts his cold bare feet on whoever is sitting with him. walks around barefoot a lot in the house.
would drop all of his pennies out of his pocket...
would likely be a musical theatre kid in the modern day. his favorites are Mamma Mia and Little Shop of Horrors
big fan of rodeos, play fighting and drag racing
BIG fan of darry's chocolate cake
not at all a smoker
really not a cracked fighter... i lost my fight in the rumble (just the way it ended up being with my fight partner but...)
fave colors are blue and orange! specific relationships notes:
sandy and soda have been together for 2 years! momma curtis loved her
so so SO in love with her tho, basically worships the ground she walks on. he doesn't get over her for a whileeeee.... but he still doesn't blame her
dates to baseball games were so common.
definitely danced together- in the kitchen or out in the rain, at a party? dancing always.
strong relationship with darry (played by one of my bestest friends ever), he understands her and helps where he can, loves her and respects her a lot- but is able to joke around with her without it being too serious
two-bit (also played by one of my bestest friends) and him are pretty close, her actor and i have a bit that two-bit and soda hook up and maybe get together a few years after sandy.....no comment
steve and soda are pretty close! not as locked in as in canon but...(context: we basically wrote steve into the script) they are locked into the grind at the DX and definitely go out to rodeos and races together
johnny and soda are lowkey not the closest but also in a "we are best friends" kinda way, soda's insanely protective of her (genderbent!) after the jumping
dallas and soda were a lot closer when they were younger, soda likely introduced dallas to the group, but they kinda grew apart as they got older and especially after the curtis parents died... soda doesn't really approve of too many of dallas' choices, but he's still family
cherry... she definitely has thrown him a few looks when stopping by the DX... me and her actor like to imagine maybe they've flirted and had minor crushes on each other at one point in time i made a playlist, containing more time period based music and music i just think soda would listen to! (i'm contemplating still updating it whenever i find music i think he'd enjoy):
some of the leads in the cast also made "get to know me" sheets as jokes so here is mine!

in the script, it mentions the returned letter, so i got to make that prop! i actually ended up handwriting the letter, so here is it on a doc plus pictures of the letter! she also gave me one, so we could trade! it was sandy's unsent letter to soda back in Tulsa after she moved. sandy's last name was picked as a reference to sarahgrace from the musical cast :)

i think this is the end! thank you for sticking around so long :)
#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#the outsiders musical#the outsiders play#the outsiders hcs#the outsiders sodapop#the outsiders broadway#theatre#Spotify
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