#it feels like aot tried to do the same but it just didn't work for me

[aangarchy]

I finished AOT today (first full watch through) and i'm genuinely so sad with that ending like wtf?? I wanna go back to rewatch s1 just to see everyone alive and semi happy again

[lucysarah-c]

Masterlist!

All my Levi x reader fanfics and Levi fanart

Art Commission: CLOSED!

Writing Requests: CLOSED!

Headcanons and asks:

-> Little "toxic" things Levi does as a boyfriend

-> Levi dating a Swifty

-> Levi's s/o telling him she's pregnant

-> Virgin! Levi

-> Sexism in AoT

-> Homosexuality in AoT

-> Levi showing affection to his S/O in front of his kids

-> Levi having competition to wins your heart!

-> Canon! Levi (Scouts time) views on kids, marriage and romantic relationships

-> Alpha! Levi believes you would be a good mommy of his spawns

-> Wishing to be breed by Levi.

-> Levi accusing his partner of cheating?

-> Is Levi a virgin?

-> Is Levi conservative?

-> Levi's S/O with a contagious weird laugh

-> Levi in love

-> Connie having a crush on Levi's girlfriend

-> Levi reacting to his girlfriend giving birth

-> Petnames that Levi would use

-> Levi's reaction to his S/O getting assaulted NSFW

-> Levi's kinks

HEADCANONS MASTERLIST PART 2

I've reached the limit of this a single post by tumblr for links so. . . here's another masterlist lol.

One-Shots:

-> Ackerman’s blood

Levi fears for the first time that perhaps his Ackerman's powers aren't a bleassing when his son suffers the consequences of them. Dad! Levi x Reader

-> Stoppers (NSFW!!)

Levi feels overwhelming jealous and decides that there's nothing better to set things clear of who owns who than a good old fucking. Levi x Reader.

-> Criminal Record Part 1 - Part 2

Levi insist he has done worse things in his life than, perhaps, sleeping with a subordinate.

-> Traidor

2020 what a time to be alive. The snk character are doing the same as old of us trying to survive the lockdown... playing among us! Levi x reader.

-> Father’s day

Having a soldier as a father is never easy, way less when your father is Humanity's strongest soldier. Levi's kid has the perfect gift but perhaps it's not the perfect scenario. Dad! Levi x Mom! reader

-> Couple goals

Levi hates military's formal events and you know it. Both of you still make the perfect team.

-> Baby boy

Hang out with your higher-ups as you just become Levi's girlfriend. What's the worse thing that could happen? Spoiler alert: Eren is not going to forget about this... neither Erwin.

-> Scratches down his back NSFW-ish

Repeat after me, nothing good happens in the common showers unless it’s Levi sandwiching you with the wet wall. Sadly, this is not the case. So, nothing good will happen. 

-> Blackfire

Erwin insists that Levi should educate his squad on certain topics proper of their age. Levi isn't really convinced but Commander's orders are Commander's orders… However, Erwin didn't specify on what he should educate his bratty cadets about. Levi x reader!

-> ANGEL

You met Captain Levi while working as a teacher at one of the new orphanages that Queen Historia created. He seems so willying to help. (YANDERE! Levi x reader NSFW!!)

-> Tea time

Levi is deep down a huge gossip old lady. Levi x reader

-> An Old-fashioned Girl

You're a teen living her normal life until she travelled back on time to aot period.

-> Self-sabotage

Erwin begs Levi to buy him a coffee on his way to university. Having a crush in a barista is so hard when you don't like coffee. (Modern au! University student Levi having a crush on a barista)

-> Not in season? NSFW! Part 1 - Part 2

Winter had settled in, and the scouts were busy training and preparing for the prospects of spring, still far away, to retake Wall Maria. Despite the snow accumulating outside, the building was freezing cold, and the world had secluded itself until the temperature rose. So, why was Captain Levi boiling in his own body? Something felt off, but his mind was quickly slipping into insanity as he tried to find a rational explanation. OMEGAVERSE ALPHA LEVI X OMEGA READER.

-> Levi and the first encounter! Underground! Levi

Tales of Levi's life in the underground.

-> EXPLANATION OMEGAVERSE AU

-> Fifteen, what an age to be alive!

Steal your father's car! What could go wrong? Dad! Levi x Mom! Reader

-> Laundry Problems

Levi's a very stoic calm man. He always does laundry but as a unknown piece of clothe appear, Levi's life flash before his eyes. Levi x reader

-> Bed-head Levi

How are Captain Levi's mornings?

-> Boop! You've been chosen!

Levi and you decide to adopt a kitty.

-> My Teen! Levi's modern AU stories.

There's a lot of them so here's a link to all of them.

-> EUPHEMISMS (NSFW-ish)

Levi may not have attended school, but he knows a thing or two about pregnancy… and also periods. (Levi takes care of you during your period)

-> Transactional (PURE NSFW!!!)

When you go to ask Captain Levi for a promotion, it's important to remain humble.

-> Mother's smile (Dad! Levi angst)

Levi's son feels the pressure of being an Ackerman.

Little Pieces I Wrote (Self-Explanatory Titles).

-> Levi isn't romantic

-> Levi as a father part 1 part2

-> Unpopular aot opinions

-> Levi growing up in the underground 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,

-> Levi's morning with happy ending NSFW

-> Sick clingy Levi NSFWish

-> Soft Levi NSFWish

-> Horny Levi x nurse! reader NSFW

-> Levi x Passenger princess reader

-> Travelling with Levi

-> Girlfriend effect on Levi!

-> Levi loving calling his girlfriend "wife"

-> Levi and farlan as roomies

-> Levi as the father of a baby boy

-> Being humanity's strongest baby girl

-> SnK boys and pilates.

-> Levi's baby thinks Levi's tight chess works as mommy's chest lol

-> Erwin finds out that now Levi is busy at night 👀

-> Levi's only weakness... You, you and a sundress

-> Sexually frustrated Levi

-> Levi = female gaze

-> Levi using you as an excuse for anything

-> Modern au! Levi was a very attentive fuck buddy, even more attentive as a boyfriend.

-> Your horse doesn't want to share you with Levi.

-> Levi's daughter

-> Erwin introduce you to Levi

-> Rambling about gossip to your boyfriend while stealing his food >>> anything else

-> Deadly Occasion (Levi is forced to marry someone else) NSFW

-> Drunk Levi? Better say needy Levi! NSFW

-> Walking down the streets with Levi

-> Princess treatment + Levi

Mounting Spring (Alpha! Levi x Omega! Reader)

Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults.

Levi's horrible flirting skills!

Short multichapter where we follow Levi's awkward attempts to win the reader over.

Holy Ground (longfic! Levi x reader)

"Alright, get comfortable because this is going to be a long, crappy tale. Join me as we travel down memory lane, back when Erwin wasn't yet a commander, when Mike and Nanaba couldn't keep their hands off each other, when Hange was... well, Hange. And Levi? Well, Levi was a twenty-four-year-old man who didn't give a damn about the rules. Are you ready?"

600! Followers event!

Have you ever wished you could ask Captain Levi a few questions and see his reaction? Well! say no more! I left Levi incharge of my blog for a few days. Enjoy the comic with hisreactions!

2k! Followers event!

Have you ever wished you could ask Captain Levi a few questions and see his reaction? Well! say no more! I left Levi incharge of my blog for a few days. Enjoy the comic with hisreactions! Part 2! Levi's revenge.

SnK Incorrect Quotes:

63 and COUNTING silly posts of quotes that I think snk characters would say.

You think that art looks cute? I draw it! Here's a link to a few of my other pieces!

WANNA JOIN MY TAG LIST SO YOU DON’T LOSE A SINGLE POST? HERE!

[umeoniii]

aot women during sex

pt 1: mikasa, hange, annie

!: fem bodied reader, hange uses she/her and is afab, cannabis in annie’s.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

mikasa: mika is definitely a sub. there's only few times where you'd see her otherwise. she's vocal but not super during sex. only allowing little hiccups and whimpers to escape her lips. she's also a crier, not like sobs but like tears streaming down her cheeks typa cry. she likes to have sex whenever you do, she doesn't really ask for it often bcs she gets nervous. you assure her that you like it when she's clear about what she wants, she still never asks either way. she likes to scissor or just eat you out vise versa. she tries to give but it doesn't always work out, she doesn't like always receiving so she suggests 69 a lot, so the both of you will experience pleasure.

★彡

you came home after a long days work of running errands, to be greeted with your girlfriend lying on the couch. she sat with her head buried into her hands. you put down your bags and come and sit yourself next to her "mika, baby what's wrong?" you pull up her chin. her glossy eyes look up.

“i tried something new today, didn't go so well." she said softly. you pulled her closer.

"what'd your try today 'hun?"

she buried her face back into her hands in an embarrassed manner.

you had no clue what she could've done that made her like this, mostly everything did but like she was so flustered it had to be something more.

“i said what'd you do today baby?"

she picked her head up with a small smile on her face, she cupped her hands and whispered to you.

"mhm, the other day, i was shoppin' online and i had saw somthin that caught my eye." she paused

“i know you're always busy n' stuff but i cant help that i have feelings too, so i bought it, but things just aren't the same." she said teary eyed.

"what are you tryna say, mikasa?" as you looked at her you couldn't help but notice how genuinely ashamed she looked. you already assumed what she was gonna sputter out, but you wanted her to say it for herself, she was a big girl after all, she can use her words.

"i bought a vibe n' a dildo." she said looking at her red fuzzy socks.

you weren't surprised she indulged in something like that, you actually had thought about it deeper, what she'd look like stuffin' her dildo into her pussy, whining trying not to let out anything louder than a small cry.

you looked back at her.

"so mikasa you masturbated, why are you all sad n' shit?"

she looks over at you shaky.

"because.."

"because what?"

“i didn't want the dildo or the vibrator." she said softly

"then why'd you buy it?"

you knew that's not at all what she meant, you were fucking with her. you wanted her to voice what she had actually wanted.

"no no i meant i didn't want the dildo or the vibrator cause..”

you turn your head towards you and mikasa’s calico cat, bunnie, rubbing against your leg. you rub his head with a soft smile.

"cause i want you to do it, not plastic or silicone, or whatever it's fuckin' made of." she mumbles

thats all you needed to hear.

"c’mere" you beckon her to sit on your lap, she sits herself down.

you look at her, your hands leading to her plush ass. you lean in to kiss your girlfriend. your lips sinking into eachother, pink tongues swirling around eachothers mouths. you work your hands up her shirt fondling her tits.

and squeezing her nipples until they're rock hard. you stop the kiss and look at her.

mikasa has always been such a cutie. her short black hair, silver eyes, and an ass that anyone couldnt help but stare at. though she was so tough and scary at times, she was still so scared to even ask her girlfriend to have sex.

"how'd it feel?" you ask her.

“it was okay, i like it better when you do it though."

she pulls off her cashmere sweater, the one her parents got her for christmas. how would they feel if they knew how quickly she was to take it off at a time like this? you notice she wasn't even wearing her bra under it, or panties. she was quick to pull off your shirt, and jeans. you helped by unclamping your bra and taking off your underwear. she pulled off your bra and threw it across the living room.

leaving the two of you in nothing but the matching necklace you two had bought for eachother on your anniversary.

as mikasa still sat on your lap you felt her wet pussy rubbing against your leg. she couldn't even help herself anymore as she rocked her hips and rode your knee. her slick wetting your thigh. her soft whines were like a never ending symphony, something you would never get tired of.

you picked your girlfriend up and lied her on her back, putting your head in between her legs, looking at her puffy clit and glimmering pussy. you start licking at her lips before she stops you.

"you know you don't always hafta’ do all the work.” she says softly

you hover your dripping cunt over hers and put her leg over your shoulders. you and her make eye contact for a second before she gives you a quick nod.

you start rolling your hips, your puffy clit and hers making continuous contact. the only sound in the room are those of mikasa's cries.

she starts grabbing at her breasts trying hard not to get louder than she wants to.

" 's okay baby, you can be louder." you assure her rubbing her flushed cheeks.

just as your wet bud bumped against hers you heard her sniffling, tears streaming down her cheeks as she whines.

"y/n oh my god." she gasps gripping the arm of the couch.

cream coated both your pussies as you continue grinding on your lover. you tried to stifle a moan as your girlfriend grabbed hold of your breasts. twisting and pinching your nipples.

as you hover over mika your necklace dangles over her head, casting a sun shaped shadow over her breasts.

you continue riding your girlfriend until you feel the sensation you get before your about to cum. so good it reminds you of what it feels like to finally sneeze after losing it many times.

"mika 'm bout to cum." you say softly looking at your raven haired girlfriend.

she moves a strand of her hair stuck to her hair from sweat. you continue rocking your hips as you feel your climax fall onto you. covering your mouth with one hand as you let out a quiet yelp.

your girlfriend continues to ride as your body trembles from overstimulation. as you look down on your girlfriend, vison blurry you watch as her breast bounced up and down. you admire your girlfriend as she cums.

gripping the couch, eyes tightly shut, mouth agape gasping for air. god, mikasa's adorable.

she covers her eyes with her arm.

whispering to herself

“the vibrator got me no where, that's why it didn't go well."

。

hange: mi favorita, love her. hmmmm. hange is a soft dom, not aggressive. everyone says this and i agree: she's up to trying new things. hange's the opposite of mikasa and is very vocal, a little too vocal. she moans, groans, whimpers, whines all of it. she grips things too. she's lowkey really aggressive twoards herself during sex. she loves giving, more than receiving. she literally doesn't care about positions. what she likes to do is eat her s/o out. it's the reason she lives and breathes. she likes it way more than grinding against her lover.

　　　　　　　　★彡

“fuck han, keep goin!" you moan pulling at your girlfriends hair. you were sitting on the sink of levi's bathroom. he would've been pissed if he knew why you and hange suddenly intruded his blabbing about vacation to use his bathroom.

so while hange was eating you out, the others all sat downstairs hopefully worrying about the vacation and not the long time you and hange were in the bathroom.

she pushed her glasses up to where they sat in her hair and pushed her index and middle fingers in you. causing you to almost scream. as soon as she heard that she got up and pulled you into a long steamy kiss in hopes you'd shut up. putting you into a trance. she continued fingering you, your cum and juices staining your skirt and the counter.

"mm, bouta' cum." you break the kiss. she kisses you cheek, then works her way down to your neck sucking on your sweet spot. you close your thighs and squeeze her arm.

"stop, they're gonna see it."

she looks at you with an irritated face.

"say a spider bit you." she continues

"he's not gonna believe that, he would never in a million years have a spider in his home." you whine.

she slaps your thigh.

"shut up."

cum soaks hange's fingers as you reach your climax, clenching around her fingers and rolling your eyes back. you set your head back onto the mirror behind you.

"all that whining and complainin' made me oh so aroused. say you'll help me out wouldia?" she smirks

"but we've been in here long enough!" you whisper scream

“i don't care, you did nothing but complain the whole time, if you don't wanna do something for me, then i'll just make sure they all see what we were really doing." she says with a straight face

did she really have no shame? you were scared coming in here because you already knew what she was going to do.

"fine.” you say in defeat sighing.

she sits on the sink as you get on your knees and pull down her pants and underwear.

her cunt glinted and dripped. she grabbed your head and forced you to start licking. it didn't take much to make her cum, especially considering what type timing you guys were on, that was already enough to fully arouse her.

you sucked on her hardened clit, and forced your two fingers in between her puffy folds.

"fuck, you're so good to me y/n.” she says looking down at you. you look up to meet the twinkle in her eyes as she said that.

you lick at her clit like a hungry puppy, rubbing your thumb on her tummy.

you rub her rigid g-spot more causing her to squirt all over your fingers, the mess getting all over levi's freshly mopped floors. she closes her legs and let out a shaky sigh.

you look up at her in horror, afraid of the mess you guys made in his bathroom.

"i told you it would be quick." she winked putting her glasses back on.

"what about the mess" you say scared, thinking of the possible consequences.

"we'll clean it, and let's just tell him it took long because we were snooping around upstairs and found something funny, k?" she says panting, staring at the ceiling.

　　　　　　　　　。

annie: annie is soft dom as well. she likes scissoring A LOT. as well as 69. she also likes when her s/o sits on her face. (i want annie so bad). she's a little vocal sometimes sayin "fuck" quietly but that's really it, it doesn't mean she's not enjoying it though. she cares about both her and her s/o's pleasure she likes giving though. she's the type to have sex high asf tbh with nothing but u on her mind.

　　　　　　　　★彡

after a long week, there's nothing like staying at your friend annie's house and getting high. it's one of the only things you look forward to anymore. she opens the door for you beckoning you to come to her room and sit on the bed.

you sit on her comfortable black sheets and pull out your roller and paper, rolling the blunt. lighting it then placing it in between your lips you inhale then exhale. the citrusy taste coating your throat and taste buds.

after a few more puffs you already feel like you're on cloud nine. you look over at your friend who was eating a whole strawberry shortcake. you let out a quiet snort.

"why do you have a whole cake?" you look at her.

"don't know, i've been craving cake for a while, so i picked one up earlier" you laugh, getting comfortable in her bed.

you look up to see her offering you a fork so you can both chow down on it. she licks the frosting off her fork.

“i bet you taste sweeter.” she whispers rubbing your thighs, looking up, earl sweatshirt playing in the backround.

you look over at her, snatching the blunt from her, straddling her lap.

she looks up at you with a lazy smirk.

she slides her hands under your shirt still maintaining eye contact.

she cups your breasts under your shirt.

you bite your lips trying to stifle your moan.

she gets closer to your face, lips parted and meets your lips with a steamy kiss. the taste of cannabis lingering in the kiss. she squeezes your breasts even harder. you let out a breathy moan into the kiss.

she lies her head back onto the head board with you still on her lap, "want you on my face.” she whispers looking at the ceiling gripping your hips.

you push her down to where she's laying on her back then she pulls your shorts and panties off hungrily.

you hover your wet pussy over her mouth, she grabs your thighs and pulls you down on her face. you ride her face and nose as she laps at your cunt.

as you ride her face you move your hands down to her sweatpants, sliding your hands down her underwear. fingering her soaked pussy.

she moans into your cunt, her nails digging into your thighs.

you move your fingers up, rubbing at her hard clit, she closes her legs softly and starts shoving her tongue into your hole.

"annie feels... good." you moan, ruffling her hair.

she looks up at you her eyes red, still the blue stands out.

saliva running down the side of her cheeks and neck. her nose and your puffy clit creating friction.

"fuck, y/n”, she groans into your pussy

your thighs squeeze her head from the sudden vibrations it created throughout you.

as you slipped your fingers back into her you felt her clench around you, then you felt your finger get warmer and wetter. you look down at annie seeing her eyes shut tight.

you put the blunt back in your mouth in hopes to keep quiet, you didn't want her neighbors to complain, she continues eating you out.

it reminded you of the cake, how aggressively and fast she ate it, you felt she did it to provoke you, she got what she wanted.

you knock the blunt and put it in the crystal ashtray on her night table, as you cum all over annie's face. whimpering her name softly.

she slurps and licks up every last bit of it as she squeezes you thighs. she moves her head back to where her mouth is free.

" 's was sweeter than the cake." she whispers looking towards the cake

　　　　　　　　　。

　　　　‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

a/n: i have revised and deleted this over and over bcs tumblr was messin my stuff up, but i hope u guys enjoy, also hange’s is mad short bcs my blog basically belongs to her ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ ) . also requests are open!!

[mayajadewrites]

Levi Ackerman x Reader - Almost

Chapter 3: Taste

Modern AU Levi Ackerman x Reader fanfic I've been dying to write! Levi is my latest hyper fixation so this was bound to happen. There will be other AOT characters in the mix, but remember this is a modern AU!

Chapter Summary: Levi stops in the coffee shop again to ask reader out on another date. We get a bit of Levi's POV and some backstory!

WARNING: SOME SMUT AHEAD

ao3 link

The next day you wake up with butterflies in your stomach and an intense feeling of anxiety in your body.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Your alarm read 6 AM. You have to be at work by 7, and you'll probably walk in to the 9-5 crowd.

To be honest, you barely slept. You kept replaying last night over and over in your head until you eventually nodded off to sleep. Seeing Levi's name on your phone screen made your heart soar, so you knew you needed to push your feelings down. Levi is not the type of man to show PDA, or even tell you he likes you.

From what you can tell, he definitely at least tolerates you.

As you got out of the shower, you saw your phone screen light up.

Levi: Good morning. I hope you slept well.

Levi Ackerman texts like an old man. But its cute.

You: Good morning, I slept like a baby. How did you sleep?

You lied. Obviously. You didn't sleep because you were too busy thinking about the very man you were texting.

Levi: I didn't.

You: ??? You didn't sleep?

Levi: No. I rarely do. I'll see you soon, brat.

It's not very surprising that Levi doesn't sleep much if at all, but that still worried you. Sleep is very important when it comes to basic life functioning, and you know Levi's life is filled with stress.

You put on your uniform and put your hair in a half up, half down style. One day when you own your own coffee shop, there won't be any uniforms.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

"I can help who's next." You look up from the register, only to see your favorite pair of eyes.

"Medium black tea please." Levi peered through his jet black locks. His undercut looks freshly done, he must've done it after our date last night.

Date? Hang out?

"Will you ever try a new drink?" You smile at him, tapping the numbers in on the iPad.

"No. I like what I like and it hasn't done me wrong yet." Levi handed you his card in between his pointer and middle finger. "Are you busy this weekend?"

"I'm not actually. I have the weekend off." You slide his card and hand it back to him. "Any exciting plans for you?"

"Maybe." Levi shrugged, putting his card in his sleek wallet. "If you say yes."

This caught you off guard. Levi wanted to hang out again? So soon?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ LEVI ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

I'm not good with communicating my emotions. That is unbearably obvious. I have never been the type to step out of my comfort zone and confess my true feelings to anyone.

This all started with my mother. Of course.

After witnessing her die, I did not want to speak ever again. She was everything to me. Not only was I a child, but I was an only child. A child is not supposed to lose their mom so early on in life.

I honestly rarely have feelings for anyone. I have... 2 friends. Erwin and Hange. So 1 and a half.

I currently see a therapist because I'm 30 years old and I'm getting the feeling that I want to be settled down soon. You know, kids and all that. I'm already a CEO, I have the house of my dreams, but I'm missing someone to share it with.

I've tried dating. No woman ever sticks. Either they just want sex, my money, or attention. They never want me.

When I met her, I felt a tingle in my chest. Seeing her face every morning and getting my tea for me gives me the same feeling every day.

So, my therapist told me to step up and ask her out.

It took me 6 months - but I did it.

Our date, if we want to call it that, since I'm not sure what she thought of it, went perfectly. Her personality meshes with mine in a way that it's written in novels. I can be rather dry with my sense of humor, but she gets it. She gets me.

I didn't kiss her last night, or even hug her, but God do I want to. I'm not sure if I get a taste of her if I'll ever be able to let go.

An image of her was playing over and over in my head as I was showering last night, her black dress clinging to her curves. Her thighs peeking out of her stockings drove me crazy. But I kept my composure.

Obviously, I had to relieve myself. In the shower. Thinking of her.

I haven't even touched her yet and she has me like this.

My therapist said that it's okay for me to feel this intensely, that it's 'normal'. Who even decides what's normal anyways?

I haven't told Hange or Erwin about her yet, and I don't plan too until if and when we decide to actually be together. I don't need their opinions or Hange's excitement rumbling in my ear.

"If you say yes." I sip my tea, looking at her. Her eyes were doe-like, which made the pit of my stomach feel hot.

"Let me know what you wanna do, I'm yours this weekend." She smiled, helping the next customer in line.

Does she know that my dick is hard right now because of what she just said? How little she just said?

I lifted my cup and left the cafe, heading towards my car to go to the office.

Bzzzzzz.

"Ackerman, can you come in earlier? A few people want to meet with you about a project they want you to fund." Hange almost screamed into the phone.

"4 eyes, I can hear you perfectly fine if you talk at a normal tone. Yeah, I'm on my way."

"Well I can't control the volume!"

"You actually can. Goodbye." I hung up, starting the car. I glanced at the window of the coffee shop, watching her smile at customers and hand them their drinks. Her smile warmed my cold heart, slowly defrosting the ice that encases it.

Does she know she's all I can think about?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ BRATTY BARISTA ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

You cannot believe you just told Levi Ackerman you were his this weekend. Did he think you were a slut? Did he think you were gonna put out?

That thought left your brain when you remembered who you were talking about. Levi Ackerman is a gentleman before anything, which he's shown you.

You heard your coworker Nina call your name, who also happens to be one of your good friends.

"Did that fine ass man ask you out this weekend?!" She leaned against the counter, smiling. "I knew he wanted to get with you!"

"Yes, we went out last night too actually." A blush blessed your cheeks as you washed your hands.

"How was the short king? How were his lips?!"

"We didn't kiss." You looked at her, hoping she wouldn't drag the conversation further.

"What?! So was it even a date? I usually go way farther than a kiss on a first date-"

"Did you date Levi Ackerman?" You tilted your head, emphasizing Levi's name. "I'm not rushing anything. I enjoy his company."

"I'm just saying, he looks rather kissable."

"Obviously, Nina." Your eyes rolled so far they could've gotten stuck in the back of your head. "Trust me, I want to kiss him. I would love to jump his bones. I want to every time he walks in here."

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

After your shift, you were relieved you were off for the weekend. You worked the regular 8 hours today and needed to decompress from all of the customer service.

Bzzzzz.

Levi: I was thinking we could grab a coffee tomorrow morning and head to the flea market. Not a coffee from your job though. Thoughts?

Was this man in your head?

You: That sounds amazing, actually. What time is my chariot arriving?

Levi: 8 AM. Not like you're not used to seeing me early in the morning anyways.

You: Ay-ay captain.

You've never dealt with a man that made plans for you. The fact that Levi suggested quite literally your favorite morning activities for a date made you swoon.

You spent the rest of your afternoon/night cleaning your apartment and finishing the lastest novel you picked up. Nina sent you outfit inspo for tomorrow but you were not in the mood to show off your tits at 8AM.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Wakeup call was 6 AM so you could make sure you were ready for your Range Rover chariot to wisk you away. Your shower helped wake you up, even though your anxiety has kept you up most of the night.

You opted for a pair of straight leg barely ripped jeans, an oversized crewneck, and platform white converse. You accessorized with various layered necklaces and small gold hoop earrings.

Makeup with your usual small winged liner with glowy skin and glossy lips. By the time you were done with everything, it was 7:45. You sprayed your favorite marshmallow vanilla perfume before grabbing your purse and checking your phone.

Nina: Good luck today! Kiss those perfect lips!!

You: I'm about to send you a video of me rolling my eyes.

Bzzzzz.

Levi: I'm early again. Your chariot awaits.

You smiled at your phone, grabbing your coat. You saw Levi's car through your window, his eyes glued onto your door. Once you walked out, Levi got out of the car and opened the passenger door.

Levi was wearing a casual outfit himself, black jeans with a grey (cashmere?) sweater, and loafers. God, he smelled good too.

"Good morning." Levi closed your door, getting back in his seat. "You look cozy."

"Thank you, so do you." You smile at him, memorizing every inch of his face. You wanted to lean in and kiss him right then and there, but you did not want to make the first move.

You weren't going to.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Once you parked, you walked to a coffee shop that's in the midst of the flea market. Part of you wondered why one of the richest men in the city would shop at a flea market.

Levi pressed his hand to the small of your back, ushering you out of the coffee shop. His touch sent sparks up your body.

You and Levi strolled through the different vendors, sipping your drinks and talking. You caught Levi looking at your hand a little too much, especially when you threw out your cup.

More people started to show up to the flea market, causing the crowd to get larger. Levi looked more tense, darting his eyes at every exit.

"I didn't know it would get so crowded." You try to break his thoughts, looking up at him.

Levi took your hand in his, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours. "I don't wanna lose you." Levi said so casually. You know he meant he didn't want to lose you in the crowd, but you also felt that he meant that in another way.

"Do you want to get out of here and head to my apartment? It's getting too crowded to walk." You suggest, pressing your hand against his.

"Yes please."

You've learned that Levi Ackerman does not like crowds, partially because it forces him to do PDA.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

You are thankful you cleaned your apartment yesterday. Everything was in it's place, and it smelled good. Not that it didn't usually, but you live alone so if you don't clean it, no one else will.

Levi took his shoes off at the door with you, taking in his surroundings.

"You have nice taste." Levi helped you take off your coat, hanging it in your closet.

"Thank you. I try." You smile, turning to face Levi. "Thank you for this morning." You inch closer to him, watching his eyes search your face.

"Thank you for every morning." Levi leaned in, bringing his hand to your cheek gently.

For what felt like years, you and Levi looked in each other's eyes. You had a full conversation with just your eyes.

Levi eliminated the space between you and pressed his lips to yours. His lips are pillow soft and taste like mint. You slowly wrap your arms around his neck, dragging your fingers along his undercut.

His lips moved in rhythm with yours, sliding his hands down your curves to your ass. You smile against his lips, pressing your chest to his.

"If you want to stop, I-" Levi pulled away, looking in your eyes.

"Levi, please." You almost whimper, bringing his lips back to yours. You lead your bodies to the couch, straddling Levi's waist. You open your mouth as he's kissing you, letting his tongue in. His fingertips softly dragged down your back, making sure to squeeze your ass every now and then.

His tongue slipped in your mouth, exploring every inch of it. You sucked on it gently as you felt your core start to pulsate, begging for attention.

Levi moaned quietly against your lips - you could barely hear it but it happened. Your hips started moving in rhythm, his erection pressing against his jeans.

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzz.

You pulled away from Levi, staring down at his pocket.

"I'm gonna kill whoever is calling me." Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket, rolling his eyes at the screen. "I'm sorry, it's Erwin. The President of Ackerman Inc. I have to take this, he doesn't usually call."

You nod and roll off of him, your core needy as fuck and your lips missing his.

[firefly--bright]

peeks and blinders (you know me)

jean kirstein x gender neutral! reader, modern au

summary : being loved required patience and time and hope. luckily, jean provided all of them, without hesitation.

warnings : feelings of being deeply alone, heavy, hurt/comfort but mostly hurt, reader might sort of have depression

a/n : aha. lol. lmao. uhmmm yeah this is incredibly self indulgent and a projection. if you relate to this please PLEASE know that you're a) not alone and also b) I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to. i wrote this with an unhappy ending in mind but with the poll results (and let's be honest, the aot finale) I decided to make it a happy ending instead. don't worry, everything works out in the end. this fic might just be terrible if you're already sad, so reader discretion is advised! i dont expect anyone to read the whole thing!!! but if you do read it, I hope you like it because I spent way too long on it. the ending might've been a little rushed only because I wanted to get this out as soon as possible so I could move on with a new fic idea ;)

taglist : @mrsnobodynobody @holding-infinity-and-a-book @jeanscremebrulee (side note- thank you for the kind words in my taglist form's criticism/comments question. i truly, deeply appreciate it :) )

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ requests are open! ✿ likes and reblogs are appreciated! ✿ join my taglist ✿

✿ recommended playlist to listen to while reading ✿

living with someone meant showing yourself, something you weren't afraid of. well, not afraid, more just apprehensive. there was too much of a potential to fucking up a relationship; showing yourself too much in the one place you're allowed to be yourself without restrictions and limitations. you love your friends, you love jean, but sometimes the quietness of being alone was more than welcome because it had to be.

so when jean asked you with eyes that didn't meet your own if you wanted to move in with him, you didn't answer. quiet literally, you paused from eating the slice of pizza in your hand. he continued on with his nervous 'making-up-for-the-lack-of-response' ramble, explaining how you technically already lived together, how he liked finding your toothbrush next to his, and reluctantly admitted that he sometimes used your soap when he wanted to have a good day. a speech that warmed you despite your answer.

because no matter how comfortable you'd be with anyone, sharing the same space with them was a different kind quiet, unrelenting vulnerability. the fact that you existed and let someone percieve you without hinderance was...too much to think about. you had been alone your whole life, not in a pitiable way, but in a way where you didn't have a childhood best friend. you didn't have people stick around, like you were only at a corssroad of people's lives and greeted them with familiarity and comfort that they'd craved, despite your want and desire for it yourself. they'd continue on with their path while you would sit there, patiently, passing time.

jean admitted it to you. indirectly, he had confessed that he wanted to see you vulnerable and bare open in a way that people wouldn't know you normally. in a way where you were simply a locked window that noone had the key to. but there wasn't anything special to hide, no great overview of the city or the sea or rolling hills and valleys and large fields. no, just an unimpressive view of an unmowed backyard. untamed and messy - again, nothing special. just years of neglect while also being looked at. nothing special.

you didn't want him to see it. and technically, he asked you. you stopped spiralling just as he started his own, realising the effect your non verbal answer had on him, you simply said "I'll think about it." and tried to crack jokes along until the end of the night. because if nothing, then jean deserved some peace to balance out the turbulence that came with loving you.

in all honesty, you didn't know what you did. how you comitted the monsterous feat of getting him to love you. how he loved you in your entirety (or lack of it), how he woke up everyday and chose to love you despite everything that you took from him, drawing out his grumbling patience and gentleness because loving you meant waiting. loving you always, somehow, meant not loving you, because there was no way someone would know you, all your stories and opinions and ideas and still choose to love you.

living with you meant knowing your anatomy. not of your physical, breathing body, but the inside of your organs. it meant knowing that your stomach was filled with guilt, that your mouth could only utter whispers of people who once loved you and 'im sorries' to someone who won't know. it meant knowing that your hands were always aching to be held, that your skin was only ever warm when it was loved. it meant knowing that your chest was always heaving, yearning for a breath of relief that would never arrive. it meant knowing that your eyes always wandered off to the weighing scale kept at the back of your closet, always wandered off to find another pair of eyes that would look similar to yours. it meant knowing that your hair was always knotted with the doubts your mouth would never ask. it meant knowing so much about you, about the grey matter in your brain and about what flowed through your veins was nothing but pure doubt and discomfort with the unholy temple that was your body, the temple without a god, the temple that noone went back to. a body without a home.

he wouldn't want to know. he shouldn't want to know, and more importantly, he wouldn't like finding out. it would either be too much or too little, and his fingers would cramp up with the effort it took for him to pry you open, only for no prize to be met with. besides, you were okay just talking to yourself, no matter how insane it sounded. you got through so many years being self-sufficient, right? you didn't know how to handle it, handle someone actually loving you without doubt. you had lived long enough without it. someone loving you was new, something you didn't have a map for, something you didn't have any precautions against.

you and jean slept together that night. in the same bed, breathing the same air, under the same covers. you didn't share the same sleep, however, as his mind made dreams and yours went on like an unfinished painting - a list of unfullfilled answers, no meanings, trying and failing to come together. you found yourself watching him breathe; just his chest moving up and down and up and down, your hands twiching to rest on top of his but you didn't know if that's where they'd belong. if his body would wake itself up because of your touch - everyone was always surprised by how cold your fingers were. you were used to it.

maybe living with him wouldn't be that bad, right? as he said, you already shared the same space to a point where the pair of you felt comfortable enough to not care if your hair was groomed perfectly or if the colours and patterns of your outfit were clashing. but would he like it? would he like just how much more comfortable you could get? just how much you could ask for? just how long you could lock yourself up in the bathroom and try to cry? would he like to know just how long you sometimes spent on your bed, refusing to get up because your heart felt too heavy for your chest? for when your heart felt like it could fall through your back, punch a hole through the ground and bury itself in the earth until it could somehow bonify and fossilize and archeologists would recognise, instantly, that it didn't belong there.

he'd leave. that was something you knew for a fact. your love wouldn't be wasted, ofcourse not, neither would the time, but maybe he'd leave feeling like he'd wasted himself at your expense. or maybe he wouldn't think about you at all.

your night was spent with your brain spiralling - thoughts about how you didn't know how to handle being loved the way he loved you, about how you probably never had a childhood best friend that was still in your life because the phases of your life weren't meant for anyone but yourself to see, about how much your hair fell due to the stress of distracting yourself from overwhelming sadness by studying and creating while also being only slightly average at it. you fell asleep thinking about how the abundance of being alone, to you, meant being not alone at all, because there was no differenciation of company and lonlieness because there hadnt been any company to remind you of the lonliness at all- your eyes had fluttered closed and breathing evened.

jean always wondered if you were hiding something from him. not in a bad way, not in the way where he couldn't say he loves you, but in the way where you'd hesitate. and if he didn't love you as much, he probably wouldn't have even noticed. but fortunately, he did know you. a little too well.

he knew how much you loved the crunchy autumn leaves, so much so that you would alter your paths just to crunch one under your boot, a smile of satisfaction gracing your face after hearing the noise it made. he knew how much your fingers would reach out for his. he knew how much you tried - with everything. he knew of your unsaid struggles, knew when and what made your mood sour. and he loved it, he loved the fact that he knew all of those thing but more importantly, loved that he loved them.

loving you felt like it was a built-in feature.

but despite all of this, he didn't know why. he didn't know why you were the way you were. he knew you tried, but he didn't know why. he knew you struggled, but didn't know why. and it was driving him crazy, especially after last night. he couldn't help himself, even if he could see you, again, trying to diffuse the situation with lighthearted jokes, he couldn't help but think a little too much.

did you not want to? jean had always been honest about how much he struggled with being either too much or too little, about how much the words hurled by his friends when he was young hurt him, about how much his love proved to be uncomfortable and silent and resigned. maybe his honesty was too much for you. maybe you didn't like the burdens he came with, maybe you didn't like knowing how much his father's absence had affected him, or about how much his previous partner altered the way he saw himself to a miserable extent. you hadn't asked for all of this, all of him, all of his parts. maybe you were getting sick of it.

or maybe, if Jean's knowledge about you served right, you were being hesitant again.

he swears he doesn't mind it. you not wanting to move in with him wasn't a problem, but he just wished he knew why. the whole day, the only thing on his mind was how he could feel less hesitant towards him, god, anyone but him. he knew, firsthand, how it felt being so overwhelmed by inconsequencial doubt where he was left with so many regrettable unanswered questions engraved into the palm of his hands because he kept them hidden in his fist for too long, where he wishes, prays, and hopes for an answer that he knows will never arrive even if he doesn't look for it.

there are many things jean wishes and prays and hopes for. you're not one of them. but only because you're here. he doesn't need any other wish to be fulfilled or prayer to be answered or hope to sparkle. you are, inadvertently, all of them. a love without doubt, a wish without a cost, a prayer without a sacrifice, a hope without desperation. you're all of them. you're everything.

but he knows that if he's hesitant this time, if he doesn't reach out to grab you, if he doesn't do something, no matter how desperate, he will most ceratinly feel a deeper regret than he has ever felt before. and yes he may be exxagerating it, but he doesn't care. he'd learnt not to care when he was with you - he's learnt to be comfortable with you and around you. he wants to tell you that it's okay if you don't want to move in with him because his home is wherever you would be, his home is his hand on your thigh, his home is watching you blink in thought, his home is the sound of your footsteps. his home is anywhere with you. you are the only person who has the right to know that.

he makes his familiar way over to your apartment. you're not home yet, sasha informs him with a sleepy voice and messed up hair, "but you can wait in their room." she says because everyone knows that you wouldn't mind him waiting in your room. including him.

he does your routine - the one he's seen you do countless of times when you enter your room - take off his coat and hang it on the back of your door where one of the hooks is kept empty for him, shoulder his bag off and put it down on the spot next to your desk, turn on the desk lamp and the night lamp because you refused to turn the overhead lights on, because "they are so hideous why would I want to turn them on," according to you, and then finally occupy the space on your bed, laying his back down and his hands resting on his stomach as he waited for you.

staring at the cracking paint on the ceiling of your bedroom, jean thinks. from his pending homework that he's mentally figuring out how to schedule to how he's going to conduct this new group project with people he has never talked to before to how is it already the second last year of University because it felt like the first day was yesterday, until finally his thoughts landed on you. of course it would always lead to you.

it started from him thinking about University, then about how he met you on the second day, seeing you in one of his classes, sitting diagonaly across him, how you conducted yourself, slipping your bag off and checking your phone. then it turned to him seeing you at the freshers party where he saw his now ex-partner with someone he knew he shouldve questioned more. how he stormed off of the party with half tears of sadness and half of anger, catching a glimpse of you in the corner of the room, looking kind of lost. he saw you multiple times after that but never talked to you. he saw you at an ice-cream parlor once. he wanted to talk to you, but Connie had loudly confirmed the tickets to this new concert, which took away Jean's attention from you. but then he was introduced to you by Marco, because of course it would be Marco who had the pleasure to befriend amazing people. he met you then, properly, when you introduced yourself, and he nodded at you with little regard.

jean shook his head with a little smile. he had been so stupid, that day. he barely looked in your direction as you got acquainted with Marco, Connie and sasha, but he didn't disregard the fact that you looked less lost than you were at the party.

you had a way of sticking around, jean found out after that. he didn't realise when you had slipped into his life, hiding in plain sight. one night he found himself awake the same time as you and the next, he found himself saving a seat for you in the class you shared with him. soon enough, you knew him as well as he knew you, and there was softness in the recognition your eyes held when they met with his. the same appreciation of his existence, something he hadn't felt before. he couldn't say that he knew you as well as the back of his hand, because really, he knew you like the back of your hand, because he'd looked at your hands more than he'd ever looked at his, noticing all the little creases and scars and veins and hairs. he knew what warmth they held, he'd felt it after your hands made their way into his while walking back to your dorm on a cold night. a night jean would never forget because he had frantically knocked on your door right after leaving you there, because his senses had finally worked and he had finally found out that he wanted to kiss you. and he did, and you kissed back, and jean swore he had never been happier even while he could hear sasha and Connie and Marco cheering for the both of you. he kissed your forehead as a goodnight that night. you were in his shirt.

you were his home before he even knew what his home was, before he could find out for himself. you became an answer with a question.

he sighed, hearing your footsteps make their way through the tiny apartment, saying a small "hi," to sasha who was sleeping on the couch. the door to your room swung open just as jean sat up, his weight resting on his forearms on your mattress. you didn't seem surprised that he was there, just flashing a smile at him before removing your bag and placing it down, and jean felt his heart flutter with comfort as your presence filled the room.

his eyes trailed you as you did the same thing he did a few moments ago, plopping yourself down right next to him. your breathing evened out with his as the two of you lay in silent comfort before jean spoke.

his voice was a low hum. the words were barely different, but you understood them anyway. "yknow you can talk to me about anything, right? even if it's sad or not funny or not...I don't know, not remarkable. you can say it. i won't laugh unless you want me to." he says. it's a flimsy promise, but you know his words hold a meaning that you can't quiet grasp.

his palm lays on top of the back of your hand.

he's warm. scarily so, because why would someone hold so much warmth towards you? more importantly, jean extended his hand without even meaning to, like muscle memory, which was, again, terrifying, because loving you as habitual purpose was scarier than you having to prove yourself for it.

your shoulders relax almost instantly; habitually and with purpose. was the purpose of it to not have a purpose at all? was the meaning of your being to not have any meaning at all? was it just to love despite it?

you wanted to do good. not in a special or overly remarkable way, because you knew you would never reach that mark because you never had, but in the way where you'd be recognized. in crowded rooms, you'd be sought out for because of your "goodness" - be it reliability, comfort, all the things you usually associated with jean. which was ironic, because noone who didn't know him like you did would ever think of jean in that way.

"i.." you say, trailing off. you want to say that you know, but it'd be a lie. it'd be a false promise, and jean didn't need that any more than he needed you. so you say, "I'll keep that in mind."

jean doesn't buy it. his hand squeezes yours, stubbornly. "no, i don't want you to keep that in mind, I want you to want to do it." he says. his head turns towards you, watching the side of your face with an expression you know better than anything. the slight furrow of his brows, slightest scowl on his face that was masked by a layer of genuine concern.

"what I mean is.... you don't have to be so hesitant with me." he says. you want to blink back surprise, except that it's not really surprising. he's seen you, more so than anyone ever has, so it's not surprising that he'd see if one day was affecting you worse than the other days. it makes you want to scream because you don't know how to deal with it.

you close your eyes as if that would help. it wasn't like you were good at running away from affection, mostly because you never needed to. if anything, you were used to running towards it, desperately, just trying. but here it was, now, the resolution of it all, of all of the aches and creakings of your deepest yearnings, yet you couldn't seem to look at it. look at him - at jean, your best friend, someone you'd do anything for - with eyes that matched his.

you sigh. there's a deep silence, and jean isn't anticipating anything. his hand is still on yours and he feels you squeeze it tightly, but he isn't going anywhere for you to hold on to him. even if he wasn't tethered to you, he'd want to stay by your side, without any precautions or promise of a fruitful result. he'd stay with you regardless.

he isn't waiting for you to say anything, because being with you feels more than adequate, like it's instinct, like his shoulders relaxing when it's just the two of you, or like that tingly feeling in his chest when you kiss his cheek after a long day.

but when you do speak, it's with resignation and certain grief. "i dont think you'll like me. if I... if we move in together, I think, realistically, you won't like it."

"how can you be so sure?" he asks. it's not a serious question, but he thinks it's a start. you're doing it, you're being less hesitant, and atleast that's somewhere to begin.

"i just am." you say, shrugging. but it's not a fact, atleast, it shouldn't be. it isn't to jean. he's rolling his eyes now, but he's not annoyed or digusted. "how?" he presses, because he knows there's more, there always had been with you.

"i get too much. and then too little. like none of it is ever just right. and I'm scared that you'll see it and...I don't know, get frustrated at my lack of everything." you say. there's truth in every word even though you desperately wish there wasn't. you're still hesitating, but it's less so. your hand is still in his, still squeezing it. it was predictable - something you found yourself relying on - the warmth of his palm and the way his hand would also engulf yours with the same echoing softness it always had. even if his fingers were calloused and a little rough, it didn't matter. they still held you the same.

he's clinging onto every word you're saying, every small explanation, every twitch of your eyebrows. he knows what's going to come, he knows there's going to be an admission of guilt coming on soon enough but he also knows, more importantly, that he'll be there to tell you that no, he does not regret loving you, and yes, he will keep doing it over and over and over again.

"I've never been... wanted like this. or like anything, I guess. and I'm so scared," you breathe in deeply, keeping your tears at bay. jean pushed himself onto his forearm, looking at you in a way you've never been looked at before. "I'm so scared of disappointing you because I think that's all I've ever done. that's all I know how to do." the box is open now, and it's not forced or pried with effort. jean has always known how to open it, you think, you just didn't let him. he does it now, with the same hands you find comfort in, the same gentleness that his eyes have always held for you.

you're crying. you don't have anything else to add to your statements, and they hang in the air as if waiting for you to complete them, expecting you to do something. but you don't and you can't and jean is holding you, his hands are at your sides and your nose is buried into his shoulder and you think the words and the expectations can wait for now, or for however long jean is willing to take care of you.

your shoulders shake. jean is whispering into your ear, asking you to breathe. he's saying it so kindly that you feel the need to comply, and when your lungs finally calm, he rewards you with a kiss on your forehead.

you think if how much of a liability all of this is. about how much you weigh in emotions when you're this open and vulnerable. not even like an open, unhealing wound, but more like that feeling you get when you finally decide to read an unread text message that had been sitting there for a month, but you're the person who both sent the text and also the one replying to it and also the one who was watching it unfold. you caused this, you were the only one who was replying, and you were also the witness to all of this.

but now jean was here. it was unusal and strange - someone being there, actually, physically and mentally present instead of those placating "you'll get over its" that were repeated to you by the few people you decided to open up to.

the two of you are silent now, only broken up by deep, almost heaving breaths from you, something you wish you would stop doing. instead of you digging your nails into your palms like all the other times, your nails are clinging onto jeans clothes, and he doesn't seem to mind. instead of it being your blankets like all the other times, it was Jean's soft heat wrapped around you, moving with each breath you took until your chest didn't feel as heavy anymore.

"i know." he says, finally. he doesn't expect you to answer, ofcourse, but he knows you're listening because you shift slightly in his arms. "i know...too well, what it's like. i know that moving in means more to you than it means to people in general. i know that it's not even about moving in together. i.." he's being hesitant. finding the right words, but for once, Jean's happy about this trait of his. he's glad he rethinks decisions and the next time when he tries again, he's more sure of it. hes sure that he loves you, hes sure that he wasn't made to love you but he grew into it because there's that choosing again, the fact that yes, he did probably have a choice, but he would never even consider it. he doesn't want to consider it and maybe that's more important than there even being a choice. he wishes he could put it into words that would make sense.

instead, he opts to say, "I am so sorry you had to think all of this all alone for so long. but I'm...I'm here now. i know that won't solve everything instantly, ofcourse it won't, but I will be here until it will. i will wait."

there's promise in his voice, a conviction that you hadn't heard before. you trust him, you always have, but you don't know if you trust yourself with this. you don't trust yourself to be someone he loves. he's quick to quiet your concerns after yet another peck on your forehead.

"but don't you think I take too much?" you ask. its doubtful, the steps you're taking on the usually thick ice that has turned too thin too fast. you're afraid you're going to offend him, but you stand no chance against Jean's all-knowing sigh. it's not a tired sound, not one anyone gives before they're about to give up. you're not sure what kind of sigh it is, but jean doesn't let you figure it out for yourself because he's answering.

the ice turns into concrete. he's become your footing, the reason you're still standing and not under numerous feet of cold water. "i dont think you're taking. your....your love doesn't ask to take. you love despite everything, not because of it. everyone, including me, focuses on how to be loved, on how to be a perfect image that probably won't last for too long, but you..... you focus on shaping your love, the love you give. i dont know if you've noticed it, but you do. you don't take too much, you give without expectations. you give with hope. it's beautiful." he pauses. "you're beautiful." he says. he's not looking anywhere else but your eyes that are welling up with familiar tears.

you suck in a breath. "im not used to sweet words, jean," you say, the breath you held releasing with a bittersweet smile. "i dont know how to handle all of this love you're giving me. i think... i think you love me too much." another tear down your cheek and onto the mattress. jean wipes away it's remnants.

"i dont love you nearly enough." he says with the same laugh you had given him, "but you'll grow into it. just like how you grew into everything else, you'll grow into being loved. i grew into it too," he says. his forehead touches yours. the proximity makes you shiver. "i grew into just how much you love me. and I wanna keep growing into it because I love loving you. i love you loving me, as selfish as it sounds."

you take a moment to register his words. yes, you weren't used to being so vehemently and stubbornly loved and taken care of, but you could. you could get used to it, get used to crying in your beloved's arms, being fed spoonfuls of carefully heated up soup that would settle into your belly, being looked at for more than a split second. you couldn't fathom it now, sure, only because you could've never believed it before, but that could change. you could grow into loving love, into accepting it just as freely as you had given it.

jean wasn't holding you with a death grip because he knew that you wouldn't leave, atleast, he didn'tanymore. he would've done it, he had all the reasons to. if he were still fifeteen, he would've thought that he had to come beg and cling on to love to make it stay. he had to do something spectacular, something entirely not himself in order to prove that he was atleast worth giving a try but with you...he didn't have to beg. he didn't even have to ask. for a while it felt undeserved, all of this care you were giving his somehow beating heart, all of this ointment you were providing to his broken bones, but he somehow, miraculously, grew into it, because he let you in. he let you see him with the eyes that would rival the ones he was sure the gods had, he let you see him and all his unknown and unsaid sins and let you love him anyway because you wanted to, because you didn't see something in him - a potential of something greater - but you saw him as he was. as he is. and nothing in your smile changed. and if you could do that, then he'd be damned if he didn't love you the same.

no words were said after that, only Jean's heartbeat mingling with your own in your ear. both of your eyes were closed, his hands relaxed on your back, your chest no longer heaving, commanding you to pay attention to it.

you fell asleep in the silence of promise.

---

the promise continued even a week later, turning into two, turning into four, wherein jean kept loving you despite and because of, unafraid and unwavering and for the first time, without any hesitance.

you were keeping up on your promise too. trying to accept it - all of this affection, his affection - without hesitance. it was hard but mundane things usually are and you continued to grow and mend and try, above all else, which was more than jean hoped for.

he's passing you the brush he had slathered the perfect amount of toothpaste on, slipping into the comfort of the cool night warmed by the heat of your previously taken shower in your bathroom. you smile at him as a thanks, and he nods as a welcome, and no words are spoken. no words need to be spoken, and his right hand makes its way to the small of your back, his left brushing his teeth as you start brushing yours and you think that maybe everything is uncertain. everything always has been and always will be, and loving someone has always been uncertain, too. being loved has always come with doubt and guilt and shame. but the only difference was that now, both of you hoped. you hoped that everything would be alright in the end, jean hoped that he'd get to share the same bed as you in the end.

hope was flimsy and hopeless, too optimistic, but now it served as something you both shared. the shared sentiment of hoping that you'd have eachother till the end was more important than the uncertainty. it meant that both of you would keep trying. you don't need to be sitting, waiting patiently and hopelessly at the same crossroad now, because Jean's hand is on the small of your back, the watch on his wrist is still and unticking, and you're walking down the same road with the same landmarks and the same gravel because you want to. you've moved from your old spot on the pavement because you want to. you're learning how to love the sound of your own footsteps, how to love the action of one foot infront of the other, and the best part is, Jean's learning too.

loving isn't a reciprocal or a transaction or a grand 'aha!' it's an act of hope. hoping they'll see you the same. hoping they'll have the same hopes as you. hoping they'll want to be loved by you, because hope doesn't require anything grand, hoping doesn't require a god to pray to or a cost to pay. it requires soft, undettered, unsaid patience. something jean, persistently, had. something you, stubbornly, held.

you paused from brushing your teeth to look at your love. you were wearing his old t-shirt that had faint stains of ink and old paint on it, and he was donning the headband you had owned for years to keep his hair out of his face. he glances at you through the mirror, then turns to you, nodding to you, eyebrows arching in a question.

you spit out the toothpaste into the sink. looking back to him, you say, with all the conviction and hope you can muster up, "I want to move in with you."

jeans mouth turns upwards, still full of toothpaste. he doesn't say anything. he doesn't need to say anything.

everything's already been said, already been understood.

because he knows you. and he couldn't be more happier to.

(when you pick the curtains for your new home, you are held up by jean, who's hands grasp the ladder you're on. you're looking down on him after the work is done and he's smiling, and you're smiling, and at night you're using the same stove to make the same dinner that the two of you will share along with some old wine and old stories. he holds you when you fall asleep, and your arms are around his torso as he snores softly. your love is stored in the blood of his veins. his love is stored in the palm of your hands, and even if you don't hold it, it still stays there, unmoving, growing, attached.)

✿

[sevendeadlywhispers]

7Seals

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Chapter 14

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•Previous Chapter: Chapter Thirteen

•Next Chapter: Chapter Fifteen

•Chapter List

•New chapters every Thursday

•Content: Levi Ackerman × OC female. Slow Burn! Canon verse!

•Word Count: 5k (I got carried away)

•Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with (*) at each chapter.

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Her fingers traced the bumpy path of my ribs, each touch turning up the volume of the discomfort. With a casual hum, she locked her gaze on my stomach, methodically pressing into different spots.

"What's the news?" I groaned, the pressure intensifying with every poke.

"You're not gonna like it," she replied, fingers unrelenting.

"When do I ever?" I groaned again, feeling the pain spike. "Ouch, seriously, can't you ease up a bit?"

"Do you always have to whine?" she shot back, her fingers persistently prodding.

"Come on, just spill it," I urged, rolling my eyes.

"You'll be down and out for a while, maybe a month," she dropped the bomb.

"Not this again," I groaned, my gaze shifting to the ceiling.

"Well, maybe if you'd done what you were supposed to all those years ago, we wouldn't be here right now," she huffed, rolling back on her chair.

"Yeah, yeah, just wrap me up," I said, holding my shirt away to give her access. She worked in silence, securing the wraps around my protesting ribs with practiced ease.

"Has anyone asked you to the ball yet?" the doctor tried to spark a conversation.

I chuckled. "No time for that in my schedule."

Silence hung between us.

"How about you? Got a dance partner?" I shot back.

"Nope, and I don't need an invite to have a good time," she replied, a rare smile gracing her face.

The first time I'd witnessed that woman crack a smile. Her smile was infectious, I had to grin in return.

"Good. I know you'll rock it. Give me a heads up if you need some wine; I'll stash a bottle for you." I winked.

She rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Your tricks make me a bit concerned as a doctor."

"Hey now, I didn't down those bottles solo," I defended, throwing my hands up, but a sharp movement made me wheeze in pain.

"Careful," she cautioned, still wrapping my protesting stomach.

"Doctor Lange." The door swung open, and the voice echoed through the room.

"I'm busy!" She yelled, hastily trying to cover me. I quickly pulled my blouse closed, shielding my chest.

Levi's eyes met mine, and his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. He paced away, desperately avoiding eye contact, as if the wall next to him suddenly became the most intriguing thing in the world.

Today was my day off, and seeing Levi here was unexpected, especially after last night's incident. But here he stood, looking like a flustered teenager.

"Will you ever learn to knock?" The doctor huffed, clearly annoyed.

"Even after this, I doubt it," I laughed, finding the whole situation amusing.

Levi, for the first time, seemed genuinely embarrassed, and I couldn't resist enjoying the moment.

"Right. Yeah," he stumbled, avoiding looking at either of us. "I'll be... I'll be out there." He hastily walked out of the room.

"We're done if you wanna go," she said, clearly amused by the recent events.

"I don't know if I wanna leave just yet," I replied with a smirk.

"Well, that's the first," she laughed.

"Yeah, I didn't think my Captain would ever see that part of me, so," I said, shooting her a knowing look.

"You have to face him sooner or later. Use it to your advantage," she suggested.

"Y'know, I'm starting to like you," I laughed, hopping off the bed and adjusting my shirt, buttoning it back up properly.

"See you tomorrow," she smiled as I walked out the door.

Levi leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, gaze fixed on the ground. There was still a hint of red on his face when I approached him.

"Captain," I greeted him with a playful grin.

"Iris," he muttered, avoiding eye contact. "I didn't see anything, if that's what you're wondering."

"I'd rather pretend this didn't happen," I told him.

"Great. Good," he said, finally meeting my gaze. "Erwin is requesting all of us to meet in his office at noon."

"It's my day off," I protested. "Also, I'm not a captain."

"You were requested," Levi repeated.

"Fine. Whatever. See you then," I said, walking off. He headed into the doctor's office shortly after.

What could he possibly need in there? It's not like he's hurt, and if he was, he wouldn't be caught dead in the doctor's office.

I knew everything about that man's schedule he was supposed to have back-to-back meetings today. When did he find time to weasel his way out of them?

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"Commander. Sorry I'm late," I spoke out, pushing the heavy mahogany door open, its hinges creaking echoing my arrival into Erwin's office.

"Iris!" Erwin's authoritative yet welcoming voice filled the room. "Right on time."

"Uh, I thought I was late?" I questioned, taking in the dimly lit room, the sunlight struggling through the heavy curtains. The scent of polished wood and the slight rustle of paperwork filled the air.

My eyes danced over the orderly chaos of scouting reports and strategically placed documents. The faint scent of aged wood and ink lingered in the air.

As I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the room, Erwin motioned toward a plush sofa near the window, bathed in gentle sunlight. The ambiance felt almost reverent, a sanctuary within the bustling headquarters.

"Where is everyone?"

No one else was here. I purposely made myself late to the meeting so I didn't have to attend the whole thing. Did they already finish up? I'm so confused right now. Why am I the only person here?

"They'll be joining us shortly. Please, take a seat and let me pour you some tea," Erwin invited, his movements deliberate and graceful. The rich aroma of brewing tea began to intertwine with the atmosphere.

Seated on the sofa, it's leather cool against my back, I marveled at the view outside. The courtyard was adorned with blooming flowers and the distant hum of soldiers preparing for the day. Erwin's office, a haven within the bustling headquarters, seemed suspended in time.

"How's the injury?" Erwin inquired, the concern in his eyes mirrored in the soothing warmth of the tea he offered.

"I'll be out for a while," I replied, sinking into the luxurious sofa and the fragrant tea creating a momentary escape from the real world.

"Thought so, you took a hard fall last expedition," Erwin remarked, his eyes held concern but something else lurked behind it. It was a knowing look I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Yeah, well, the ground wasn't as soft as it looked," I quipped, smirking as I sipped the tea.

"So how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. Just bored," I shrugged, glancing around Erwin's office. The atmosphere, with its subtle scent of old books and polished wood, made it one of the few places I could tolerate.

"I've been bored myself. Not much to do when the weather is bad. Titans seem to be quieter when it's snowing, so it makes up," Erwin shared, his eyes focused on the swirling snowflakes outside the window.

"Are you still having night terrors?" Erwin's question hung in the air, breaking the comfortable silence. I felt a twinge of discomfort, knowing this conversation would tread on old wounds.

"No," I replied, my gaze fixated on the swirling patterns in my teacup. The memories of those nightmares were locked away, hidden from prying eyes.

"Really? That's pretty good, then," he continued, his tone measured. I nodded, not willing to delve into the details of a past I'd rather forget.

"Yeah, I guess so," I muttered, avoiding eye contact. The scars from those nightmares had faded, but their ghost lingered. I was a prisoner to my dreams.

"I saw your dad the other day. Have you spoken to him recently?" Erwin's question felt calculated, a deliberate turn in the conversation. Levi must have been in on this too. I wondered how long they'd been scheming to corner me in Erwin's office.

I sighed, realizing I was lured into this situation. Was there even a meeting with the other captains, or was it merely an excuse to draw me into this unexpected tête-à-tête?

"We both know the answer to that one," I replied, reclining further into the plush chair Erwin insisted I occupy.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try. He did ask me about you and-" Erwin's sentence hung in the air, abruptly cut off as the door swung open, disrupting our conversation.

"Levi," Erwin greeted, his tone betraying a hint of surprise. "You're early."

I turned to find Levi strolling in, his signature stoic expression doing little to mask the annoyance in his eyes. He settled on the couch, shooting a pointed look my way.

"I thought you two would be done by now, knowing how stubborn she is," Levi remarked, the barely concealed irritation directed at me.

"It would have been nice if you knocked," Erwin chastised, attempting to restore some order.

"I see you didn't learn anything from earlier," I teased Levi, savoring the tension emanating from him.

"Shut it," Levi growled, his jaw tense.

"What happened earlier?" Erwin interjected, attempting to piece together the puzzle.

"Yeah, Levi, what happened earlier?" I prodded a mischievous glint in my eyes.

"I thought you said we were going to forget about it," Levi snapped, his frustration bubbling to the surface.

"Yeah, well," I mused, tapping my finger against my chin. "I changed my mind."

"I didn't," Levi retorted.

"What happened earlier?" Hange's sudden entrance startled all of us, breaking the building tension.

"Damn it, Hange!" I yelled out. "You gotta stop sneaking up like that."

"Haha, sorry," they chuckled. "But really, what happened earlier?"

"Nothing," Levi grumbled. "Drop it."

I couldn't help but smirk, reveling in Levi's discomfort. This unexpected turn of events was too good to pass up, and I was determined to make the most of it.

"Well, since everyone's gathered," Erwin declared, his eyes scanning the room. "We've got some event planning on the agenda."

"About time!" Hange exclaimed, their excitement practically bouncing off the walls.

"The Scouts got roped into organizing the Yule ball this year," Erwin explained, casting a glance at both Levi and me. "Now, that's not exactly my forte, so..."

"Not mine either," Levi grumbled, interrupting the commander, something I wished to do.

"For once, Captain Clean Freak and I are on the same page," I added.

"Watch it." Levi threw my way.

I rolled my eyes and watched Erwin continue to speak ignoring our opinions.

"You both will be participating in one way or another," Erwin said addressing us both.

"To make it easier on you guys, Hange is in charge."

What he meant to say was to make it harder on all of us. One thing Hange loved more than Titans, was parties.

"Nobles specifically requested you and Iris-"

Erwin paused, his gaze fixed on me. I could sense the hesitation in his words, the unspoken weight of what was to come. His regret was evident, etched in the lines on his face. It was almost as if a new wrinkle appeared when he said my name.

"Your father appointed you on behalf of the church to plan as well," Erwin continued, laying out the unexpected bombshell.

"Great," I groaned, my frustration evident as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Erwin had managed to turn a simple meeting into a tangled mess, and now the church was thrown into the chaos of unwelcome surprises.

"The church?" Hange echoed my disbelief. "They're in on this too?"

Levi's poker face slipped, his jaw hanging a little. His silver eyes widen showing the blues that lurked under his insomnia.

"Why are you representing the church?" Hange's voice cut through the silence, sharp and incredulous.

"My dad's a pastor."

"What?!" Hange's voice hit an octave usually reserved for Titans.

"How come you never told us?"

"It doesn't matter," I brushed off, trying to sound as disinterested as possible, but inside, I was already bracing for the fallout.

"This explains so much," Hange mused, eyes narrowing in a way that suggested they were re-evaluating every interaction we'd ever had.

"What else are you hiding?"

"Thirty bottles of wine," Erwin chimed in, an edge of mirth to his voice as if he couldn't resist joining the fray.

I shot him a look that could curdle milk, but he just smirked, unfazed. The man could face down a Titan without batting an eye, so what chance did my glare stand?

"I think my father can find someone else who can handle it on their own. I won't be attending," I declared, standing up in what I intended to be a dramatic exit, only to be met with Erwin's commanding tone.

"Sit back down," he said, and as a puppet with its strings pulled, I fell back into the chair, my gaze shifting skyward as if the ceiling held the answers to my current predicament.

Levi leaned in, his voice a low groan that carried a weight of resignation.

"If I have to go, you are going too."

"You have to go because you're humanity's favorite toy right now," I snarled back, letting my frustration bubble to the surface.

"And it looks like you're the church's puppet," Levi retorted, his words sharp, a mirror reflecting my own feelings.

The room was buzzing with the kind of tension you'd expect just before a storm hit. Except, instead of rain, it was Erwin's patience that was about to break. I shot Levi one of those looks that could easily turn wine back into water, but he just stared back, collected as ever. His eyes, though, were practically dancing. He was getting a kick out of this, the jerk.

"Enough." Erwin's voice, authoritative and final, cut through the standoff.

"Hange is in charge of the Yule ball planning. The Garrison and Military Police will also contribute. I expect full cooperation from everyone."

His gaze lingered on me, a clear directive that I was to play nice, especially with Levi—Mr. Grumps, seemed to find human interaction less appealing than a Titan encounter.

"Don't look at me,"

"It's not me who has issues with people."

I gestured towards Levi, ignoring his soft glare.

"Oh, cheer up, guys!"

Hange, ever the optimist, squeezed between us, their arms wrapping around our necks in a death grip disguised as a group hug. Their enthusiasm was unbreakable, their grip even more so.

"Hange," Levi groaned, his discomfort audible, yet he made no move to escape their embrace, a testament to his resignation or perhaps a rare show of patience.

With a swift dismissal from Erwin, I wasted no time. My escape was swift, my pace quickening with each step away from the office and the impending disaster of the Yule ball—a ball that, until moments ago, I had every intention of avoiding.

"Hey brat," Levi called out, his voice trailing me into the corridor. I ignored him, my determination to distance myself from the conversation—and him—as strong as my desire to steer clear of the ball itself.

The irony of my father's involvement gnawed at me. After four years of silence, and now he wants to inject himself into my life. It would be laughable if it wasn't so infuriating. There was no affection in his summons, no fatherly concern. Just demands, as always.

I seethed at the thought of being manipulated, a pawn in a game played by men who hid their insecurities behind badges of strength and independence. My father, Erwin, and even Levi in his own way—they all wanted something from me, yet none dared to ask directly.

I'm tired of being used, tired of the silent expectations and unspoken demands. If they wanted my help, they'd have to ask for it—plainly and without games. Maybe with a bottle of wine or two as well. I'm not doing shit for free around here.

I leaned against the doorframe, one hand resting lightly on the cool wood as I peered into the dimly lit room beyond. The scent of aged paper and ink filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of fresh lemons and mint that wafted from behind me, the presence looming like a silent shadow.

"What?" I asked, my voice betraying none of the unease that churned in my stomach. I already knew why he was here, trailing me like a ghost haunting my every step.

"I'm checking on you." His voice was low, almost a whisper, but it carried a weight that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"I'm fine," I insisted, though the words felt hollow even to my ears. I moved to close the door behind me, but Levi stopped me with a well-placed foot and a firm hand, pushing the door open once more as he brushed past me and entered my sanctuary uninvited.

"Don't believe you," he muttered under his breath, his tone clipped and devoid of its usual edge. His eyes scanned the room, taking in every detail with a scrutiny that made me squirm under his gaze.

"I don't know what you expect," I snapped, my frustration bubbling to the surface.

"I was just cornered by you and Erwin, bombarded with news from my dad, so forgive me if I'm not in the mood for visitors."

Levi's response was unexpected, to say the least. Instead of arguing or pushing further, he simply reached past me, his chest brushing against my shoulder as he closed the door behind me with a soft click. His eyes gazed at for a moment but he quickly returned to looking elsewhere.

"Then go relax," he murmured, his breath warm against my ear after he shut the door. His voice was oddly gentle as he gestured towards the room beyond.

"But we still need to talk."

I watched him pace around my office, his movements controlled yet restless as if he were searching for something he couldn't quite find. The sight of him, usually so composed and unflappable, acting so strangely sent a shiver down my spine.

I swallowed hard, my pulse quickening as I watched him, his demeanor a far cry from the stoic Captain I was accustomed to.

“Captain.”

"If we're off duty, it's Levi," he interrupted, his voice tight with tension as he turned to face me, his eyes dark and inscrutable.

I nodded, though the gesture felt more like a surrender than an agreement. "Right," I murmured, my mind racing with unanswered questions.

"Levi," I began, the name feeling foreign and unfamiliar on my tongue after years of calling him Captain. "What's going on?"

But Levi's response was evasive, his gaze flickering away from mine as he spoke.

"Just get yourself together, Iris," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of urgency.

"Then we can talk."

I frowned, a knot of unease forming in the pit of my stomach. Whose plan was it to send Levi to my room after the meeting?  

"Fine. Make yourself at home. Teas in the left cabinets. There's some hidden sugar in my desk," I informed him, motioning toward the makeshift kitchenette before retreating into the sanctuary of my room.

The ache in my ribs throbbed insistently, a relentless reminder of lingering memories I've tried so hard to forget and push away. With careful precision, I shed my clothes, each movement a delicate dance with pain. But comfort awaited, a fleeting respite from the relentless demands of our world.

Clad in baggy sweatpants and an oversized shirt, I embraced the familiar warmth of familiarity, seeking solace amidst the chaos. Yet, even in the quiet of my sanctuary, Levi's muttered commentary permeated the air, a discordant melody to my solitude.

He should have known coming into my room it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. It's not like I have time to clean.

"God, she is so filthy," his words floated through the door, my room will never be up to his unyielding standards. I couldn't help but chuckle, imagining his frustration with the disorder that was my office. But in a world plagued by fates and uncertainty, chaos was the only constant.

Summoning what remained of my waning energy, I corralled my unruly curls into a messy bun, a few stray strands framing my face in a halo of chaos. Stepping back into the lion's den, I found Levi attempting to bring order to the chaos, his efforts both futile and endearing.

"It's dirty," he observed, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

"I know,"

Levi's eyebrow quirked in response, his gaze lingering on my form as I brushed past him, his curiosity still getting the best of him while he cleaned. I could feel the heat radiating from his skin mixing with the coolness of my own.

I reached for a bottle of wine nestled within the depths of my desk drawer, the familiar glass cool against my fingertips. Levi's eyes followed my every movement, a silent observer of the dance of shadows in the dimly lit room.

"You stupid brat,"

I merely shrugged, uncorking the wine bottle before sinking back into the plush cushions of the couch. Propping my feet up, I took a long swig straight from the bottle, relishing the fiery warmth that spread through my veins.

Levi's disapproving gaze bore into me, but I met it with a defiant glare of my own.

"You know that's contraband, right?" he chided, his voice laced with thinly veiled frustration.

I rolled my eyes, the corners of my lips quirking up in a mischievous smirk.

"We're off duty, aren't we, Levi?" I retorted, savoring the way his name felt on my tongue.

His response was a begrudging nod, his gaze flickering away from mine as if unable to withstand the intensity of my stare.

"Yeah," he muttered, his voice barely audible above the crackling of the fire.

"Then I don't see an issue," I declared, taking another swig from the bottle and relishing the burn as it traveled down my throat.

Levi's scoff filled the air, but I paid it no mind, focusing instead on the comforting numbness that washed over me with each sip. Meanwhile, Levi busied himself with straightening out my desk, his movements precise and purposeful.

"So, did you come here to clean or?" I asked, my words dripping with sarcasm as I watched him fiddle with quill and ink.

"Someone has to," he grumbled, his attention still fixated on the task at hand.

"Suit yourself," I replied nonchalantly, leaning back against the cushions and cradling the bottle in my arms.

"Your hair," Levi said still cleaning.

"Uh, yeah? What about it?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Uh, nothing?" I replied, feigning innocence. "Why?"

"Because it looks messier than usual," he remarked, finally tearing his gaze away from the papers strewn across my desk to meet my eyes.

"Thanks," I shot back, my tone laden with sarcasm as I took another swig from the bottle.

As the minutes ticked by and the wine continued to flow, I found myself slipping further into a haze of intoxication. It had been a hell of a day, and from the looks of it, the night promised to be just as tumultuous.

Levi's offer of tea was met with a dismissive shake of my wine bottle, a silent refusal echoing through the room. Undeterred, he proceeded to pour himself a cup, his movements deliberate despite my lack of interest.

"Where's that sugar?" he inquired, his voice betraying a hint of annoyance.

"In the drawer with my wine,"

Levi's lips formed a thin line as he glanced at the drawer, clearly hesitant to delve into my personal belongings. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction at his discomfort.

"I don't feel like snooping through your stuff," he muttered, his gaze fixed on the once-cluttered desk.

"You didn't have a problem earlier going through and cleaning all of it," I retorted, the bitterness of my words hanging in the air.

With a frustrated sigh, I rose from the couch, retrieving the sugar and another bottle of wine from the drawer. Placing them on the coffee table, I settled back into the cushions, uncorking the second bottle.

As I took a long swig, I noticed Levi's gaze lingering on me, his expression a mixture of disdain and concern.

"How much are you going to drink?" he asked, his voice tinged with disgust.

"Until your nagging doesn't annoy me," I shot back, my defiance unwavering.

"What? Do you want some?"

Levi shook his head, his features hardening. "Alcohol doesn't do anything to me anyways," he admitted. "Do you drink like this every night?"

I scoffed at his question, taking another sip of wine.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," I replied, the bitterness of the wine masking the bitterness of my words.

"But since you asked, yeah, I do. Got a problem with it? It's not a secret or anything."

In reality, the alcohol served as my sole solace from the relentless nightmares that haunted my nights. It was the one remedy that could momentarily numb the sharp edges of memory. If Levi failed to grasp the depth of its necessity, then he had no right to cast judgment upon me.

"You're an idiot."

Levi's voice was sharp and unforgiving. I merely shrugged off his insult with a casual smirk, taking another swig from my bottle as if his words were nothing more than background noise. The wine danced across my tongue, its familiar burn serving as a welcome distraction from the chaos of the day.

With each sip, the tension in my body began to melt away, replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling that wrapped around me like a blanket. It was a fleeting escape, but at that moment, it was enough. I closed my eyes briefly, allowing myself to sink into the blissful numbness that the alcohol provided.

But even as I basked in the temporary relief, I couldn't shake the nagging awareness that this was just a temporary reprieve. Tomorrow, the pain would return with a vengeance, a harsh reminder of the battles yet to be fought. Yet for now, I pushed those thoughts aside, choosing instead to savor the fleeting moment of respite that the wine offered.

"How come you've never mentioned your family?"

I cocked an eyebrow, taken aback by his sudden curiosity. He always drilled into my head to leave our personal shit away from the survey and now he wants to mix it?

"How come you've never mentioned yours?" I shot back, refusing to let him catch me off guard.

His response was a low, almost approving hum, followed by a curt declaration.

"Don't have one."

I shouldn't have been surprised. In the years I'd known Levi, he'd built walls around himself so impenetrable, that they made the Walls of Maria look like child's play. Yet, in that moment, as he offered a rare glimpse behind those walls, I found myself unexpectedly intrigued.

For the first time in what felt like ages, a flicker of curiosity sparked within me, igniting a desire to peel back the layers of his guarded facade and unearth the truths hidden beneath.

"You," he added abruptly, his gaze fixed on the crackling flames of the fireplace as if retreating into the safety of silence.

His vulnerability hung in the air between us, a reminder of the complexities that lay beneath the surface. In response, I found myself opening up in turn, the words tumbling out before I could stop them.

"My mom's gone," I confessed, the weight of the admission heavy on my tongue. Levi's eyes flickered briefly to mine before returning to the dancing flames.

"My old man's off his rocker, and I've got a little sister who's the epitome of perfection."

The contrast between my sister and me felt like a clash of light and shadow, as if she embodied everything bright and radiant, while I remained cloaked in darkness. Her presence illuminated any room, with her golden locks cascading like sunlight, and her cerulean eyes mimicking the beautiful waters. She was the epitome of perfection, effortlessly graceful and flawlessly composed, while I stood in her shadow with my messy black curls and deep emerald gaze seeming to absorb the light around me.

From a young age, my sister had been the embodiment of everything pristine and flawless. Her every action was met with admiration and praise, her every word uttered with grace and charm. Meanwhile, I struggled to find my place, often overshadowed by her brilliance. While she effortlessly danced through life's challenges, I stumbled in her wake, grappling with my insecurities and doubts.

But despite our differences, I couldn't help but admire her. She was the light to my darkness, the embodiment of everything I wished I could be. And as much as I tried to resent her for it, I couldn't deny the love and admiration I felt for my perfect little sister.

"Shit, Captain, you'd probably smile just by being near her. She's that perfect," I remarked, a hint of tease in my tone.

Levi's gaze shifted, his usually stoic expression softened by a flicker of something I couldn't quite decipher. His raven hair fell carelessly around his face, and for once, his scowl seemed less severe, almost as if he were at peace.

"You've known me long enough to know I'm not easily impressed," he replied, his voice steady but with an underlying warmth that caught me off guard. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I felt like I wasn't a nuisance to him. It was as if he had shed the weight of the world for just a moment, revealing a side of himself I had never seen before.

But then reality crashed back in, and I quickly diverted my gaze, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my neck. His words startled me. Just how long was I staring at him?

"Iris, I rather stare at eyes that have seen death than fool myself with someone who portrays a false reality."

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

[cosmicjoke]

Same anon. I also wanted to add besides the sexuality discourse. The fact they claim you're somehow babyfying Levi by stating things Isayama has clearly made obvious in the manga(sometimes I really feel bad for the way this man's work is always intentionally misunderstood) but then claim Levi is canonically this unfazed badass is also quite intriguing. Isayama had the chance to write anything else about Levi's life, possibly his life after the war, but he chose to write bad boy which again hammers on Levi's trauma and the way it has affected him, but no, let's all just pretend he's this heartless masculine alpha man.

I personally don't even think Levi will be very reserved if he lived in a different environment and grew up with his mother at his side. Yes, I think he'd a bit reserved but I also think he'd be able to smile more and play around more as a kid. But that's my headcanon. I think he'd be a gentle soul like maybe Marco was.

However, what I can't stop thinking about is the breakdown Levi had after his mother's tea cup shattered. This is isayama clearly showing us the last few times Levi as a child could express grief openly before he had to adapt stoicism as a copying mechanism. The fact that 7m7n7 also disliked the Levi's childhood crying scene because it was unnecessary and weird and that they were glad Isayama at least gave Levi a bad ass moment when attacking the men who tried to traffic him🤦🏻‍♀️

At this point she must admit she doesn't like Levi at all and that she just finds his design hot. Because how do you want to erase everything about Levi but then claim you love him.

Hi again! Yeah, that continues to baffle me, truly, how so many people just seem absolutely incapable or simply refuse to acknowledge Levi's trauma and the ways in which it's impacted him. I can't understand at all why they're so triggered by it, or why it's so upsetting to them, to acknowledge what, as you said, Isayama himself has confirmed, in canon, is true about Levi. He IS impacted by his trauma. It's had a profound impact on him. But what these people that rail against acknowledging that don't seem to get, either, is that it's the fact Levi's trauma has profoundly impacted him, and yet, he STILL remains a good man, that's testament to his strength as a character. They think it makes Levi "weak" to acknowledge that he's traumatized and that his trauma has had and continues to have an affect on him, but it's the exact opposite. It's despite the fact that his trauma continues to impact him that Levi is who he is. He's affected, and hurt, and grief stricken, but he never let all the pain of his life turn him rotten. That's the point. Levi isn't immune to being hurt, he isn't impervious to emotional devastation or heartbreak. Quite the contrary. I think Levi is probably the most deeply feeling character in AoT, that he's more deeply affected by things than anyone else. That's why I say he's a deeply emotional person. He feels on a level more profound than others. But it's for that fact that him remaining a good man is so remarkable and such a testament to his strength. Everything hits him like a ton of bricks, and stays with him, but he never let it break him or turn him into a bad person. AoT is littered with weaker characters who DID allow their trauma to turn them rotten and bad. But not Levi. And that really comes down, again, to Levi's innate goodness, to his great capacity for empathy and kindness. He didn't break under the weight of his trauma, not because it just slid right off him and didn't have an impact, but because his capacity for empathy and kindness and goodness is so deep. Because those qualities are so inherent and essential to Levi's core. It's those very qualities, in fact, the qualities bozo's like 7m7n7 think make Levi "weak" or "pathetic" or "feminine" that actually make Levi the strongest. It's not his physical strength that gives him that title. It's his heart.

I completely agree that I think, at his core, Levi is a gentle soul. That's part of his tragedy. That he's a gentle soul that was forced into a life of violence, that was forced to learn violence, just to survive. And while I think Levi is naturally a reserved and quiet person, he absolutely would be able to smile more and laugh and experience joy if he'd been allowed to live a more normal life. Levi's level of inexpressiveness isn't normal, and that's something a lot of these people don't want to acknowledge. It's a result of his trauma. He's experienced so little normalcy or happiness in his life, and has had to face so much hardship and cruelty, that it's like his ability to express his emotions just shut down. That's why I called it a coping mechanism, because consciously or not, Levi's lack of outward expression is a defense mechanism against the cruelty of the world. He's so sensitive, and things impact him so hard, that that's the only way he could learn to deal with it, to put a remove between himself and what he's feeling. He's still feeling it, but it's pushed down deep inside him, where he doesn't have to contend with it in the moment. It's the way he stayed functional in a world that, for his own and others survival, demanded he stay functional. His life has been too hard to allow himself to indulge in what he's actually feeling. If he did, it was liable to get him or others killed.

And jeez, I didn't even know 7m7n7 bitched about the scene of Levi crying after his mother's tea cup broke, but isn't that just typical. They don't want there to be any sort of acknowledgment or proof of Levi actually having emotions or being emotional or being impacted by his trauma. What a loser they are. Like, I'm sorry, but Isayama created Levi, so him drawing a panel of Levi crying and being affected by things is CANON, and no matter how much these people try to claim it's "unnecessary" or "weird" or try to imply it's "out of character", the bottom line is, if Isayama says, then that's who Levi is. He's a deeply emotional person. Also, Levi's encounter with those men, and him killing them, isn't meant to be seen as "badass". It's a complete tragedy. Having to see this poor, ten year old child being forced into such brutal violence just to save himself. That's the whole point. And Levi's reaction afterward, the way he bursts into tears, shows how horribly impacted and negatively affected he's been by having to engage in that violence. It's not badass, it's heartbreaking. 7m7n7 really is a complete fool.

You're right, at this point, they just need to admit they don't actually like Levi. They like the fantasy version of him they've conjured in their head, which is to say, they don't like Levi at all. Because Levi isn't this toxic masculine, incel asshole that they try to claim he is.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I agree, there's something about the Itoshi's that I cannot get my finger into. I tried, and it was a failed attempt. Heck, I watched Blue Lock because of Sae (because he shares the same VA as Geto Suguru). But I am slowly getting into the reading of their character and that's about it.

Also, now it made more sense why our boi Karasu is in Shidou's system, the man (Shidou) just wanna play soccer. Karasu went "naah Rin, ya moody son of a bitch bye" (internal Karasu: his mood swings are far worse than Otoya).

Okay, I call this segment tea time with Jeirin lol

And this is where it hit me in different ways. And I've decided it's definitely like a 'how you been, how you doing in the past few years' but never revisit old feelings trope because you were just kids, you wouldn't have a clue what to do and where things will head from that moment on.

Heck, I remember my first crush well too, his name is Andrei, also the smartest in my class. Got in touch in socials, never once talked. Scenario 1.

Got in touch with a classmate of mine from when we were in primary school. we liked each other but we never got together, but we're still friends. But every now and then we tease each other about our shared history and how we liked each other, and that's about it. Scenario 2.

The thing that left an impact to me and why I cannot so brush this off, I was 'seeing' someone (ex-best friend, yes, I 'saw' best friend but we didn't end up together for various reasons) who also can remember his first crush well, I will name her Lyra. It's been years too since my ex-best friend and his first crush saw each other, and they reunited on his like 17th birthday (or something like that). They got in touch and Lyra confessed to have liked him since they were kids too, and so did he. My ex-best friend ended up dating her for I don't know until when (I heard they broke up eventually and wanted to win me back, but it was too late). Scenario 3.

But so far, scenario 3 is rare but also, surprised that they didn't work out either. Moral of the story, people grow up lol

Just the whole notion of first love/first crush is a-whole-nother sequence of angst to me. You can always get over your first crush easily, but your first love is something different but also, don't be too hard on yourself. There's plenty of people out there. (I had an explanation/probability of this in the AOT fandom and I will not revisit it because it's yea we know how that fandom's like).

That explains why I was so angsty the other day lol sigh, Karasu this is your fault 😂 im kidding.

i actually started blue lock because of a rin edit LMAOAO and then promptly proceeded to…not like rin…actually that’s a lie i don’t really mind him and i acknowledge that he’s pretty and also kinda funny at times but i wouldn’t say he’s one of my favs by any means

HAHA also to be fair rin is like barely 16 and karasu + shidou are both 18 and their birthdays are only really a month apart?? so there’s also probably an age thing there where karasu and shidou can just relate to each other better and consider each other equals whereas rin is younger and given that both of them lowkey have asshole tendencies they’re def like “haha okay kiddo whatever you say” and then side eye each other when rin is being all dramatic 😭 honestly karasu + shidou as besties in pxg is my fav headcanon i think they would be hilarious together…so much potential for being menaces

TEA TIME W JEIRIN OKAY I AM SEATED ☕️ and yesss i def agree w that perspective i think it’s a natural part of growing up and maturing!!

SCENARIO THREE IS BRUTAL WTF 😭😭😭 omg i am so sorry that’s actually the worst 😕💔 but yes sometimes people just aren’t meant to be…the way he realized what he was missing out on though and tried to come back as if you wouldn’t move 😒 the audacity fr…HAHA but agreed i think there’s also a lot of societal emphasis on FIRST kiss, FIRST bf/gf, etc, so people tend to romanticize and idealize those connections in their minds a ton when it’s really not like that…there’s so many people in the world!! like is a boy from your elementary school necessarily the one for you?? maybe not!! and especially as people change and grow and whatnot…even my best friends from back then who i’m still friends with are nowhere near as close as the friends i’ve made now because we’re all different and at different life stages so it stands to reason that it’s the same romantically

the aot fandom is genuinely horrific bro i was in the trenches with attack on titan (originally an eren stan here) but so many people in the fandom are like kind of insane, have no media literacy/reading comprehension, and are WAYYY too cool w excusing genocide 😭 as much as i once loved it idk if i could ever go back to it 😓

HAHA karasu inspiring angst 🤩 we love him for that fr (<- saying this as an angst enjoyer in fiction ofc not as someone wishing angst upon you irl 😩)

[richardsondavis]

I just really hate the current discussion surrounding this fucking small part of the show!!!!

"They emasculated him."

They made him a soft boi so I'll give them that.

"Why do they hate us?"

What the ever flying fuck do you mean?

And I just checked Arkhaven which I didn't know they had a blog and they just always mention that since it's made by the same people that made She-Ra it's automatically bad. They dismiss this shit.

Then again I also dismiss the latest entries in the SCP Wiki and RWBY cause I've experienced first-hand the decline of those series. Although I'm still very, very uncomfortable with strong opinions.

Just goddamn. It's making me self-conscious about what I like. I am limited by my region. I can only access what I can in the seven seas so I won't be able to check out comicsgate or the like and I have seen a comicsgate work, Kamen America and it is dull and I'd probably labeled as a grifter and a woke person and an NPC and all that vile crap for expressing my opinion?

That when I watched my Adventures with Superman, that it was the first time I've enjoyed myself and actually look forward to every week. Are they really going to make me so self-conscious that I must only cater to their fucking definitions OF WHAT IS GOOD!?!?!

Fuck the anti-woke. Fuck the fact that I believed in them. I want to be happy. I kust want to enjoy myself not get fucking mocked for watching a show or thinking something is alright!!!!

I hate it so much i hate it i hate it i hate it

I just want to be free to enjoy what I want

I don't want to keep thinking what would others think of me. What the anti-woke would think of me. Because they would like to kick me out if they ever realize that I don't think like them. That I enjoyed something made by a person whose only descriptor that they have is the maker of the new She-Ra. She's a producer in the new Superman show.

I just want to enjoy myself. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber but I also don't want this vile comments that are not directed at me per se but in general but still feels so personal. I just want to be rid of them. Rid of the mindset that I need to have a pre-approved opinion that the people like It'sAGundam, The Critical Drinker, Arkhaven Comics, Vox Day, Geeks+Gamers, BleedingFool, The Movie Cynic, r/KotakuInAction, some anons over at the /co/ board at 4chan, the haters in Instagram of the woke media, and many more.

I want to enjoy what I want and I want to discover that but it's hard to do so when you're faced with a lot of negativity.

That when you enjoy something the anti-woke hates, they'd call your tastes shallow and tell you to consume more smarter media.

I read AoT. It's not that great. Entertaining but not that great. I didn't take much away from that show. If I wanted to learn, I'll watch videos and read articles about that.

I hate how I've programmed myself to revere what the anti-woke says about something. It's a toxic trait. See what the people who'd probably hate my opinions think about so that I may conform to their ideas and mold myself, forcefully, if need be to their standards.

Tried it once. It made me realize that it was stupid. Stupid to conform to the anti-woke.

Get ideas from them, see if they have merit but have your own opinion and be strong enough to take that into account.

I just don't know what to do when someone says my taste is shit. I just want to enjoy myself. Fucking hell.

Why can't I enjoy myself without these fucks raining on my parade?

I am responsible for me.

I am me.

I'm not sure why the sailor moon transformation for Superman is controversial?

It's just dumb fun. I don't get it. I fear I won't get it. Unless someone explains to me who superman is and he is not a soft boi who gets transformations.

I mean in hindsight I'm starting to see why some people are being peeved by it but still. The reaction seems to much. Too very much.

[aetheternity]

What ruins the mood during sex

A/N: {I remember writing one of these posts for AOT like three years ago. How times have changed.} Ok so like when I was writing Venti and Xiao's I felt a weird sense of Deja Vu like I'd somehow read a scenario like this in someone else's work but I can't tell if it's a real genuine feeling I should look into further or if it's some kind of random emotion based on this prompt which has been done to death as it is. But if someone tells me that someone else wrote this prompt with those two and created the same scenario I would look into it.

A/N 2: Ok so like I took my sweet time posting this because I wanted to see if I'd manage to come up with an idea for Kazuha, Albedo and Scaramouche but I could not. So if you want to know why they're not here that's why. (Yes this is a repost)

Characters: Aether, Cyno, Heizou, Tighnari, Venti, Xiao

Disclaimer: Adult situations, MDNI.

Cyno: In, a quickie turned accidental creampie.

He's got such a nice pace going. Your arms wrapped around his neck, legs tangled around his waist. Eyes fluttering shut as he slams your hips into the desk beneath you.

"Cy, are you gonna cum?"

He hums a quick reply, hips stuttering forward.

Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, "Wait! Cyno not inside!"

He manages to pull out but not before he'd already stained your clenching walls and a couple drops along your ass. "Since when do you want me to pull out?" He groans, eyes narrowing at the cum drenching the desk beneath you.

"Ugh! I just.. didn't want to walk around like this all day! I won't be able to shower till night fall.." You sigh in frustration. Spreading your legs wider to see the damage. "I guess I should've warned you sooner but I thought about it too late."

He simply grunts, "I will help you clean up as much as possible."



Aether: In, which one of us didn't lock the door?

He's got your hips from behind. A rather long moan cresting off his lips as he gets sucked in as deeply as he can go. Your own eyes rolling to the skies as you pull him in, pressing your hips back into his with vigor.

That is until the door creaks open suddenly, Paimon's voice loudly calling. Luckily Aether was far quicker he launched a pillow at full speed taking Paimon out fast enough for him to slam the door shut.

"Not now Paimon!" He screamed over her protests.

Meanwhile you'd already taken to the floor. Stripping the blanket from the bed as you tried and failed to hide your laughter.

Aether on the other hand looks less than amused.



Xiao: In, on the edge of glory.

You'd been teaching Xiao little things about mortal sexual relations. Not so much for testing purposes simply because he'd asked. Most of the things you'd talked about got you one of two reactions: A blank stare or a disappointed eye roll. Though as much as you wanted to properly ask, you decided against questioning Xiao's sexual exploration. For at least the time being.

At some point however Xiao had slid a book in front of you. The page already flipped to a section about edging. Now your mind probably shouldn't have immediately jumped to shock followed by an internal battle over your Xiao Xiao reading a book but-

"I wish to try this out.." He mumbled, staring off into space as he spoke.

"Of course."

Seeing as you'd done at least this much before: Getting him hard and then getting him close to cumming had been fairly easy. His breaths short and heavy as you worked him up just enough to perfectly edge him. That is until you started to work him up again only for his sensitivity to win out. His body crumbling as he covered his chest and your hand with his load.

You giggle a little at how easily, he quells at even your softest touches. Which of course was logical. He hadn't exactly done this with anyone else before.

"Aw Xiao.." You peered up at him completely endeared. Your heart fluttering so hard when you saw the way his eyes were squeezed shut and the bright red adorning his cheeks. "Xiao! It's ok! don't make that face honey it's ok."

He weakly grumbles but you just continue your praise, pressing kisses into the crook of his neck and along each of his shoulders. "We can try again, I promise."



Heizou: In, injuries may occur.

The way you've got his cock sliding between your lips, so slowly, so perfectly it makes him weak. He presses your head deeper, pushing you a little faster with soft words of encouragement.

On a particular stroke you manage to press deeper than you'd ever done before. Enough to kiss his pelvic bone. The feeling so intense Heizou's leg jolts, hard enough that his foot comes in contact with your stomach.

"Man alive! I'm sorry!" He pulls your face back, straightening up to check you for discomfort. "Are you ok?" His thumb softly massages your cheek.

"It's fine Shika." You simply grin. "It was good to know you were feeling good."

"Ugh, but that still couldn't have felt great.. Allow me to make it up to you somehow."

"What do you have in mind?"

Safe to say that moment had been ruined but perhaps the "moment" wasn't.



Tighnari: In, maybe you should've just left it there..

He's barely had a moment to sneak away all day and boy does he need it with the way you've been teasing him. He's nearly reached his limit and is about to shove you against the closest tree when a small window of opportunity arises.

The rookie forest rangers have a lunch break.. and that means so does he.

He slides into you so eagerly the second he gets you alone. Bracing your hips against his desk as he pounds you so unabashedly. Little giggles and moans falling off your lips. That is until a tube of some mysterious powder rolls its way off the desk, cracking as it collides with the floor.

"Shit.." Without hesitation Tighnari pulls out yanking the tube up from where it'd dropped. Unfortunately too quickly as his head immediately slams into the table's end. So quickly and so roughly it clattered around with you atop it.

"Oh archons, are you ok?!" You slide off the desk basically dropping onto the floor beside him. Tighnari's whine surprisingly loud as he rubs the back of his head just below his ear.

"I'll be fine but agh.. ow!"

Safe to say you two should probably finish later.



Venti: In, bless you??

You cup his face, devouring any and every moan he musters as they fill your open lips. His face scrunches up and you prepare for that all too familiar full body shudder he always does when he cums.

"Almost there, Love, so close." You coo

He lets out a little noise of confusion, nose twitching and before you can even begin to question it you're immediately covered in snot and spit. A surprise that's just as soon followed by him pumping you full of cum.

"Oh wow!" He chuckles "I'm so so sorry darling, I didn't realize I still had any sneezes left from my earlier performance at the Cats Tail ehe~"

"Venti.."

"I'm still so very sorry.."

"Run."

[kurosaaki]

AOT GIRLS AND THEIR KINKS.

SUMMARY: Headcanons of the aot girls and their favorite kinks. Includes Mikasa, Annie, Pieck, Sasha, Ymir, Historia, Hitch and Carla Jaeger ;)

TW (+16): Just smut. that’s it. F!reader. Mention of impact play.

A/N: Writing for the aot girls is my favorite thing in this world. You can probably tell by how i wrote this. Reblogs and feedback is appreciated! Enjoy <3

Special thanks to @oblxvion for proof reading this xoxo

MIKASA ACKERMAN.

PRAISING

This girl right here loves to be praised.

Everyone knows that Mikasa is a confident woman, it may seem like she doesn’t need anyone’s compliments to know how amazing and lovely she is, but she adores to hear you say things like “you’re doing so good for me, baby” and “that’s my girl” when she’s about to reach her climax.

Your hands can always feel the goosebumps in her skin when you start praising her, her angelic features covered in a red blush when she hears you whispering sweet compliments and pressing your lips over her body at the same time, worshipping every inch of her breathtaking body.

CHOKING

Mikasa loves to feel your hand on her neck, especially when she's being a bratty girl—because sometimes she likes to tease you, of course—and when that happens, the best thing you can do is to put her in her place by grabbing her neck, bringing your face close to hers and squeezing the sides of her neck a little if she tries to disobey you again.

Mikasa didn't know that she liked to be choked while having sex, but after experimenting and feeling confident around you, you once decided to try it. And since that time, she can’t forget how hard she came when your hand was wrapped around one of her sensitive spots.

Bonus points if you kiss her neck after removing your hand—she’ll love it.

ANNIE LEONHART.

SEXTING

In intimacy, Annie is a shy girl, but even though she is like that most of the time around you, the reality is that she becomes a completely different person when she’s not in front of you.

And don't get me wrong, she loves to be in front of you and enjoy your body in person, she loves to feel that intimacy between your bodies and she's a sucker for having your hands all over her body, but annie likes to get you hot with just an intimate picture of her in front of the mirror, or a video of her pretty fingers inside her wet pussy.

She knows how to make you spend all day thinking about her and wanting to get home to press your lips on her body immediately and she'll use that "talent" she has to drive you crazy when she's feeling playful. She also likes to receive your pictures as well, and you can be sure that she’ll respond to that with more breathtaking pictures. She knows all the angles and positions to make it seem like you’re staring to a work of art instead of a simple picture of her in your phone.

FACE-SITTING

Listen, Annie despised the idea of face-sitting. She first thought it was weird and any time you’d eat her out, she preferred to do any position but this one. But one day, after a really long time of considering it, she finally gave in.

And god, she loves that position with her whole life. She’ll rock her hips back and forward, feeling your tongue laying flat agains her dripping cunt, stimulating her to the limit and making her legs shake furiously. Sometimes you tease her about how much she hated that position before she tried it with you, and she regrets not trying it much sooner.

PIECK FINGER.

PRAISING

Just like Mikasa, Pieck is a sucker for praising. She is more into body worshiping, but she can’t deny the fact that when she hears you telling her how much of a good girl she is and how pretty she looks when you’re taking your time with her.

She gets surprisingly wet whenever you compliment her, which is perfect for you to continue eating her out like you’re starved. But, unlike Mikasa, she won’t get all blushy and shy when she hears your voice close to her ear whispering sweet things about her—She’ll encourage you and she’ll beg for you to say more.

EXHIBITIONISM

Pieck may not seem like it, but i have a feeling that she loves the risk of being watched while you have sex with her. She’ll encourage you to have sex with her close to places you can get caught, but her favorite place to have sex is close to the window of your shared apartment. The fact that anyone can see you both having sex turns her on to the max. She’ll never refuse to slam her body against the window while you take control of her body from behind her.

A little headcanon: one time you were having sex and pieck thought it was a good idea to do it right there, in front of the window, where everyone who was out in the street could see you both. Just when you were about to go down on her, you hear her voice saying, “oh look, Porco’s right there! I wonder if he can see us”.

…and he could.

SASHA BRAUS.

FOOD PLAY

Do I even need to elaborate on this. I mean, we all know how much Sasha loves food. And trust me, if she has the opportunity to incorporate food into the bedroom, she will.

She has the chance to enjoy three of the things she loves most about life: food, sex and the most important, you.

She will go absolutely crazy while licking the melted chocolate on your neck, and you’ll enjoy the way she seductively sucks the strawberry on her hand and she’ll let you bite it after it, just to kiss you in that same moment and taste the flavor on your lips and your mouth. If you’re willing to let her food play kink happen, you’ll win her whole heart.

TEASING

Oh, you have no idea how much Sasha loves teasing you. And she’s a smart girl, too.

She’ll do it the most subtle way, making it seem like she didn’t want to tease you right in front of your friends. But she loves the fact that you think she does it by accident, that way she can have way more fun with you and you won’t get mad with her because she’s just “a playful girl with everyone”—wrong!

She’ll bring her hand to your thigh in public while you’re sitting, she’ll bite her lip in front of you and she’ll do anything to bring you to the edge to finally get what she wants when you get home.

YMIR.

OVERSTIMULATION

Ymir loves to overstimulate her partner more than to feel the overstimulation herself. Since she’s a giver, you will receive nothing but extreme pleasure over and over again just from her tongue and her magic fingers.

Trust me, she’s extremely talented at making you suffer but in the good way, of course. She’ll never get tired of hearing your sweet cries and she loves to see your pussy dripping, clenching around her fingers for the 5th time in a row.

She’ll brag about how many times she can make you cum in just 30 minutes, and she’s unstoppable, too. When she wants something, she goes for it, and if she wants you to end the night exhausted, she’ll do anything to achieve that.

BONDAGE

This goes with overstimulation, too. Ymir loves to restrain you with some handcuffs on each side of the bed, that way she can do everything she wants with your body—don’t worry, it’s all for your pleasure.

She also likes to be restrained and she loves the way you tease her when you have full control of her body. She thinks it’s a good way to get her riled up before she fucks you good.

HISTORIA REISS.

SENSORY DEPRIVATION (BLINDFOLDING)

Historia likes to blindfold you, but she loves to be blindfolded, too. She likes to be dominated and she adores the feeling of not knowing what you’re going to do with her body.

You’ll get to hear her little gasps and her sweet moans everytime you kiss a different part of her body, and she’ll get louder the moment you decide to tease her clit and rub your fingers around it, circling the sensitive bud and licking off her juices while she tries to be quiet.

It’s always so hot to see her so helpless, and if you want to take it to another level, you can also handcuff her to the bed.

ORGASM DENIAL

She loves to be edged, and trust me, she’ll get extremely excited the first time you try orgasm denial with her. It’s no surprise that she’ll have lots of fun with it.

And Historia’s orgasm control is excellent, even the first time you try it. Yes, she’ll be moaning and whimpering, making a mess and getting more wet each time your tongue works her up, but she lasts really long, you’ll get surprised by how much time she can wait. That said, the moment you let her cum, you better put your hand over her mouth, just saying.

YELENA.

SIZE KINK

We all know this already. She’s a tall ass woman, and she’ll always be likely to be taller than you, even if it’s by a few inches. And the height difference makes her so fucking horny, it definitely brings her ego up so much it’s insane.

It makes her look just as dominant as she is in bed, and she’ll be so cocky about it, too. Always making fun of how superior she is, telling you you’re her pretty little girl. Not to mention that she also has pretty long fingers, and don’t even get me started with how big her strap is. You’ll always get sore the morning after it, trust me.

DEGRADATION

Pretty obvious, isn’t it? Yelena loves to see you embarrassed, she adores the little faces you make when she tells you such dirty things “you’re such a fucking whore, taking me so well” “that’s it, show me how much you want me to break you, baby”. And that’s enough to make you cum in less than a minute. She has that power, you know?

HITCH DREYSE.

DIRTY TALKING

Hitch loves to be treated like a whore in bed sometimes. And you have to understand that, it’s part of her. She can’t help but release all her emotions in bed with you, and if you accept to take care of an animal like her when it comes to sex, she’ll love you forever.

She wants someone who can tell her how much of a slut she is, how good she moves and how pretty she looks while moaning. She’ll do the same with you, she’ll tell you everything you want to hear, and she knows everything about you, so she’ll always be able to answer you with the dirtiest things you’ve ever heard in your life.

IMPACT PLAY (SPANKING)

Hitch is a fan of seeing the mark of your hands on her ass the day after, it makes her remember how wild that night was with you and makes her want to repeat it even more.

When you have sex with her, slapping is always allowed but only on her favorite spot: her ass. So if you’re not able to resist it, you can give her a few slaps and she’ll smile at you, knowing that you like her body and what she’s doing with you.

CARLA JAEGER.

OVERSTIMULATION

I just know Carla loves to overstimulate be overstimulated by her partner. She’ll absolutely love to get all dizzy after cumming for the 7th time in a row, she’ll adore the way you reassure her in such a innocent way—it gets her so horny.

She’s insatiable, she wants more of you, she wants to go for the 8th orgasm of the night, and she won’t be satisfied until she reaches the 10th time. And even if she cums for the 10th time, she’ll want more and more. You’re in for a ride with that woman, are you sure you can handle her?

PRAISING

Hear me out...Carla is the absolute queen of praise. She loves to let you know how good you are for her and how good you make her feel each time you have sex with her. Absolute queen of making you come just with her compliments. Just saying “that’s it, you’re doing so well, darling” “you fuck me like no else does, you’re so good” and she’ll get what she wants: to see you weak in front of her.

tagging: @obitovoir

[slttygeto]

aot + the film industry!!

synopsis: everything about being on set with them feels like a dream.

featuring: the characters that appear most in aot like eren, armin, mikasa, jean, connie, sasha, zeke, porco—anyway, you get the drill.

warning: none!

author's note: this is a thank you gift for 1000 followers<3

part 2 | part 3

reblogs and replies are appreciated !!

the way people got hooked on attack on titan was never really a mystery to you

the day you accepted to be part of this small project, the storyline made you realize that one day the show will definitely grow and it will become a big hit

and it happened sooner than you expected

"i think (name)'s character will get so much recognition this season," sasha said as she stared at the interviewer with a bright smile. she was all glammed up and so was everyone else. they all looked so good.

by everyone you meant : eren, armin, mikasa, jean, connie, sasha, erwin, levi, hange, reiner, zeke, porco and pieck.

"is there a reason behind this sudden recognition?"

"it's not sudden to be honest," eren spoke from the high chair behind you and you found yourself looking down at your exposed thighs with a smile. his responses were always genuine so it was nice to hear him talk about you.

"her character has always been shiny and there for everyone but this season, i would say there's a few changes here and there but I won't add anything to it," he wanted to avoid spoilers as much as he could. he didn't want to become the next tom holland.

"alright then (name)," you raised your head with a hum and a small smile. the questions you were asked always caught you off guard so you were hoping for a normal question.

"any steamy scenes this season?" god you wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

you didn't know if they did it on purpose, but they always wanted to make your character revolve around men, pleasing men or being with men and it bothered you a lot.

you let out an awkward chuckle, looking around at the audience who were clapping and eagerly waiting for your response, meanwhile your hands were getting sweatier and your heart was gonna beat out of your chest.

"that's not really a question related to her work," zeke was the one who broke the silence after the crowd stopped cheering and you looked back at him, a bit shocked.

"no but i was just wondering if-" "that's not what the show is about, right? the show is about fighting and risking your life, not about hooking up," zeke wanted to make the interviewer as uncomfortable as they made you feel and it seemed like it was working because they were suddenly laughing and shuffling through their cards awkwardly, all while avoiding looking at you.

"you can make it up by asking a normal question," armin said out of nowhere, his tone sounding a bit bitter and threatening. this was starting to feel like a sort of protection squad.

"okay okay then, (name) if you were to describe your chemistry with each one of them on set, how would you describe it?"

now that was a good question but you wanted to take your time.

you looked around everyone to make sure you get a good look, not missing the way hange, connie and sasha tried to hide everyone else so that you could look at them which caused laughter to roar from the audience.

"i think amongst everyone here, i would say everyone takes their work very seriously but i would put them in different groups: those who once they mess up one time, they will need a ten minute break because they can't stop laughing. can you guess who they are?" you turned to the audience, laughing when they pointed at the same trio who was trying to be the center of attention earlier.

"exactly, hange has this thing where if they push their glasses back you just know they're gonna laugh next" "HOW DO YOU EVEN NOTICE THAT"

"and sasha is the type to lean her entire body on you when she laughs, almost made me fall once, and then there's connie who always spits water on everyone and anyone. a mess,"

you went on with your description for a while, enjoying the reactions you were getting out of everyone, especially the little surprised look on levi's usual warm face. he didn't think you'd notice that he avoids drinking coffee on set because it makes him too hyper for his character.

or how pieck and mikasa are always cuddling on the couch, after filming a scene that isnt really that exhausting but it's cute. though you always find yourself in the middle of them, mikasa's head on your lap and pieck's on your shoulders making you feel like you were in a harem.

porco has this secret agreement to lift you up randomly in the middle of a scene just to hear your little squeal, something about the way you hold onto him and ask him to put you down makes his day.

reiner always fixes your hair in the middle of a scene. always. especially if it's getting in your way and you're having a hard time speaking because it's in your mouth.

jean and eren have this agreement to startle you whenever you walk out of your changing room. you did try to kill them for it but they know you love them too much.

zeke and armin were like your chill lunch break buddies. they definitely chatted but they were the ones you felt most comfortable sitting in silence with.

that summed up your interactions with them and how you felt being around them. they were indeed like family to you.

good thing no one suspected that you and a fellow actor there definitely had something going on.

2022 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

[satorugojooo]

Night strolls

Ayato x reader

Warnings: none, just fluff <3

A/n: did yall see Ayato? I'm actually about to pass out because of how he looks AND HIS VOICE OH MY GOD 😳💗

"Good evening my lady." Ayato said with a soft voice as he glanced at you.

"Greetings Ayato, enjoying the evening?" you said with your fan at your lips and he smiled.

"Now even more because of you." he told you and you blushed.

"Ah yes indeed, how have you been lately?" you said as you started to walk next to him. He just chuckled and looked down at you.

"Do you really wish to know?" he said and you looked at him.

"You are a dear friend of mine Ayato, of course I wish to know, plus, your sister would worry if she wouldn't know how you are, you need to open up a little." you said and he gave a defeated sign.

"Fine fine, I surrender myself to your mighty judgement!" he said and you laughed.

"How can such a serious head of the Yashiro Comission and head of the Kamisato clan be so playful sometimes?" you asked and he just smiled.

"I must admit that this is just the effect you have upon me my lady." he said and looked down at you once again.

"Still the same charmer I see." you said with a small grin and he got closer to you.

"Only for you my dear." he said and you tried not to die there from how flustered you got. Right now you were at the bridge from Inazuma city, near the water and that small shrine for the kitsune. As you looked at the sky, you sighted.

"Ah its such a beautiful night, I wish we could stay like this, no clan affairs, no etiquette lessons or way to act before everyone, here we can be ourselves." you said.

"Indeed very beautiful." he said and you looked at him only to see that he wasn't looking at the sky, oh no, quite the opposite, he was looking at you with such an adoration.

"Ayato-" you tried to say but he held your hands so you would look at him.

"Look, I know that maybe you think it would be complicated for us to start something, after all we both rule over clan's with big duties, but, believe me, we can make it trough together." he said and looked at you in the eyes.

"But... What about the others? If we get together, they will expect us to marry, have heirs, and our whole relationship will be public..." you said and he took your cheek in his hand.

"You don't have to do all that if you don't feel like it, we are the own rulers of our lives, so why care about what the others think?" he said and you looked at his blue orbs. They were charming, just like his sister's eyes.

"I- alright, if you really think it could work, I'm willing to give it a chance." you said and he smiled at you slowly approaching you. When you were at centimeters away from his face, he connected your lips with his, kissing you sweetly. You felt as if this was the right thing to happen, a lot of thoughts invaded your head and all you could think of was him, the one you loved soo much.

When you broke, he looked at you and caressed your cheeks with his fingers.

"What about you come and have dinner with me and my sister? I'm sure she would enjoy your company as much as I do." he said and you chuckled.

"How could I refuse to see Ayaka and Thoma, I missed them so much, but I missed you even more." you added and he smirked.

"I didn't expect anything else my dear, after all I'm your soul mate." he said and you rolled your eyes.

"As you say "lord" Kamisato. "you said and he grabbed your waist pushing you into him.

"You will get to see me as lord Kamisato too one day, dear, just wait and see." he said and grinned as you blushed hard.

And with that, you both headed to the Kamisato Estate.

Hope you enjoyed! :D

Requests are opened, just text me or request me stuff, I write about genshin characters, bsd, jjk, mha and aot characters tho <333

And don't forget, Ayato wanters will be Ayato havers, hopefully me included 🤣

[healpeony]

𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐆𝐔𝐘𝐒.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬; Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirschtein, Porco Galliard, Levi Ackerman.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲; you pulling different tik tok pranks on some aot guys.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; crack, suggestive 18+, different emotions, light impact play (only for Armin's), profane.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬; I'm going to make a part 2 with other characters. Also the gender of the reader is neutral, I'm so sorry if I refer to them as a female by accident!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭; @mallang

Masterlist

𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤; in this prank person 1 pretends to break up with person 2 to see how person 2 reacts.

— You had to start earlier on the day by just ignoring him or not really giving him attention (since this man knows every prank on the book)

— Eren is really dramatic, so you would've expected him to react that way. obviously that doesn't happen in this situation

— You set a camara on a coffee table right behind a pot of flowers

— You were sitting next to him on the couch watching Netflix and that's when you decided to start the prank...

— “Eren..”

Eren looked at you from the corner of his eye, he was really weird out by the way you were acting earlier since you don't really act that way, and it's now that you decided to give him attention? right when the best part of the movie was about to happen

“wait a minute, baby” he told you, his attention returning to the television

“Eren this is important.” you took a deep breath trying to add a dramatic effect “I want to break up with you”

Eren jumped with a big smile on his face “Oh my gosh! did you see tha—” the words stopped coming out of his mouth as his smile dropped when he processed your words

“what..?”

“i'm sorry, Eren. Everything has just been different, it just doesn't feel like it used to be”

Eren's eyes were watering at your words,  what had happened to you both?

“Was it me? I...I bet it was my stupid overprotective self, I'm so sorry, baby. I promise that if you give me another chance, I will do better.” he pleaded grabbing both of your hands in his, kneeling infront of you on the couch

The way his voice was cracking was breaking your heart, but you wanted to go on for just a little more.

“Eren you don't get it, this is the problem, You're always trying to change decisions that I make or you just don't take my opinion on things at all and I'm tired of it!” you took your hands away from his and stood up, giving him your back so he doesn't see you breaking character

“Ohh... I'm—I'm really sorry for making you feel that way. If you want I.. I can leave”

— that's enough

— You would turn around only to find Eren looking down, his body trembling

— “Eren, baby. Look at me, it was just a prank” you laughed pointing towards the camara

— He would stay still for a moment, looking up at you with a tear still running down his cheek, before he chuckled and pushed you

— “Don't ever do that to me again, I thought I was about to lose you...”

— please hug him!

— After this he just has to teach you a lesson for scaring him like that 👀

— “You should've really thought about the consequences of your little prank”

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓

𝐲𝐚𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐱; during sex person 1 is going to act unsatisfied and would pick the right moment to yawn to see person's 2 reaction.

— The blonde man isn't one to be fooled easily, he's smart as hell and can read people (especially you) like a book

— Armin was soo confused, what was he doing wrong?

— You seem to not be getting any pleasure from the way his moving his hips against yours

— You were trying hard to hold your tongue and not moan

— It was difficult since Armin really knew how to hit that sensitive spot inside of you

— When he started to go faster was when you decided to do it

You stretched your arms and let out a yawn while Armin's eyes widened looking down at you, stopping his movement

“did you just yawned?” he furrowed his eyebrows

your eyes widened with a fake apologetic look

“i'm so sorry Armin, it's just that you're not really hitting that spot today” you whispered

this man was deeply hurt, so he was doing something wrong

he was about to apologise and promise to do better when he remembered Jean talking about this exact same prank last month

Armin clenched his jaw, his now narrowed blue eyes looking down at you.

they were soo intimidating sometimes.

you laughed realizing that he knew, well at least you tried

“sorry Armin”

— oh oh.. You were in for it

“You think that you can just play with me like that?”

— His hand would come in contact with your cheek, not enough to leave a bruise but enough to leave a burning feeling there

“You fool”

— Good luck walking the entire week!

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞; in this prank person 1 calls person 2 someone else's name to see their reaction to it.

— Jean.. oh this man is a blessing..

— He trusts you and you know it, but he can't help but let his jealousy take over him sometimes

— So you know what his reaction most likely will be

— You were sitting with him in the balcony. He was finishing a painting he's been working on for a while when you decided to do the prank

— You positioned the camera in an angle where it would take in Jeans reaction, and you had to be be careful to not attract his attention to yourself

— You stood up walking behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle

“Jean, are you almost done?” you asked him resting your chin on his back knowing how much he hated that

“Yeah, baby. You can stay there is comfortable, but can you take your chin off my back.” he politely asked turning his head slightly to look at you

“Why? You love when I do this, Eren”

— Frozen. That's his reaction to you calling him Eren's name.

“Did you just call me Eren?”

— This man took your arms off of him and turned to looked at you with a hurt look

“Do you do stuff like this with him?”

“no, no baby it's just a prank. see?” you told him pointing to the camera

— please apologize

— He will want to hold you and not let you go after this

— He's precious. Protect him. Is your new job.

𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐎 𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝; Person 1 tells person 2 this out of nowhere to see their response.

— Porco is a horny man, you know it

— You set up the phone camera infront of the tv while you and him sat a little away from it (enough for him to not notice your phone)

— You both were eating fruit together when you told him

“Porco, I'm in the mood”

— This man choked on the piece of mango he had on his mouth

Porco grabbed the water bottle next to him and took a gulp of it

“Right now?” he asked “where is this coming from?”

“You looked really hot licking that mango”

The hazel eyed boy smirked, winking at you

“Sure I'll give you what you want, come on”

— Porco started to stand up when you couldn't hold your laugh in anymore

“I'm joking, it's just a prank”

— My dude just stood there looking from your phone to you before rolling his eyes

“You can ask someone else for dick this entire week, I ain't giving you nothing”

— start apologizing. now.

— he might forgive you

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝; in this prank person 1 calls person 2 infront of other people/another person to see their reaction.

— Levi is really calm, he doesn't care what you refer to him as long as it let others know that you're romantically together

— So he won't appreciate you referring to him as a friend in public

— You were both at a restaurant talking about what you guys wanted to order, when you decided to do this prank

— You were praying that this man didn't embarrass you infront of everyone

"Hello, do you already know what you would like to order?" the waitress asked looking at you both with a kind smile

"Yes, I would like the chicken alfredo pasta and my friend would like the same thing” you smiled back at her

“Any drinks?”

“Wine for me. they would like water.” Levi answered

“Your dinner would be here in a few minutes” with that said she left

— The look Levi gave you was scary

“Didn't you say that you weren't drinking tonight?”

he ignored you question, asking one of his own “Why did you say that?”

“Say what?” you played dumb

“That I'm just a friend.”

“ohh... I'm sorry, it just slipped” you gave him a awkward smile trying to not laugh

“It's this one of your little pranks?”

At that you let out a snort before full on laughing

“you damn brat, you do this bullshit and I'll break up with you. I wouldn't even think about being your friend” he said rolling his eyes

“sure, when I do this again you will be my husband! And I'm not signing a divorce” you joked

— You didn't see it, but Levi had a small smile in his face, his hand grabbing the small box in his pocket

©healpeony 2021 Like or/and reblog only.

[kiddiekatz]

I Don’t Want a World Without You. Eren Jaeger x Reader

Request from @shittypaperwork

A/N: This took me forever to write this. I wanted it to be perfect. I really hope it is. Also, my asks are open for AOT smut (Disclaimer I do prefer to write in Canon Au but not opposed to writing Modern AU if I like the idea.) , Jujustu Kaisen smut. But please enjoy!!!!!!

WARNINGS: SMUT!!!, slight breading kink ig, name calling, slight Dom!Eren. Unprotected sex, Canon AU,

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

Your friendship with Eren was unlike any relationship you had experienced before. You both joined the Scouts after the attack on Wall Maria. You both bonded over the losses you both endured that day. Eren sought out revenge on the Titans. His hatred and rage fueled his desire to become a better soldier. You wanted a better understanding of the outside world. Why all the memories came fooling back in the middle of a titan ambush you had no idea why. A giant hand came out from the shadows of the forest directly aiming for you. You didn't have much time to react before Eren swooped in and grabbed you.

"(Y/N) you need to pay more attention," Eren said right before the titan grabbed the wire to his ODM gear causing him to fall to the ground several hundred feet below.

"Eren," you screamed out. Your heart pounding in your chest as you locked eyes with the titan. Suddenly, a red hot burning sensation rushed through your chest and up your face. Tears started to form in your eyes as you maneuvered around the giant trees. Finally finding a vantage point, you zipped over the titan and your blades cutting deep into its nape. It fell to the ground dust and debris flying above its lifeless body. The feeling still stuck in your chest, but it was different something lingered beneath the surface. You located Eren, and you looked at him the feeling became stronger as you watched him lay there, blood dripping from his head on the ground under him.

You were irrevocably in love with him.

There was no time to confess to him your newfound feelings. He needed to get the infirmary. The more you realized your feelings for him, the more you realized it would never work. This world was unfair and unforgiving. There was no room in the world for love let alone a relationship, or that's what you told yourself. The pain you would feel if Eren didn't reciprocate your feelings would tear you apart inside.

Two weeks had passed since the ambush in the forest and your feelings had remained the same, in fact, they had gotten stronger. Your whole squad had made it back alive, which you were grateful for. Eren was rushed to the infirmary due to his extensive injuries. You didn't sleep most nights so you would sneak down to see Eren. You held his hand and changed out his bandages being very careful not to wake him.

"(y/n), you have to let him rest," quickly turning around you saw Armin standing in the doorway.

"It's my fault this happened," the tears started to swell up in your eyes. Armin grabs your hand leads you outside.

"B-but Eren," you stammer looking back at him.

"He's going to be fine while you're gone". You looked up at the night sky, gazing at the stars above you. It was late, you didn't realize until now. How long have you been sitting by Eren? An hour? Maybe five. A cool breeze hits your face as you sit down beside Armin on the bench just outside the infirmary.

"You're so concerned about Eren. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're acting like Mikasa," he laughs. You chuckle slightly. You had been so wrapped up in making sure that Eren was okay that you had forgotten what it feels like to relax. Memories of you and Eren flood your mind.

"Armin there's something I need to tell you. I can only trust you with this information," the blonde turns to look at you.

" I'm in love with Eren". Armin's face gets all red and he turns away.

"So why are you feeling me this? Shouldn't you be telling Eren?"

"Because it would never work out the way I want".

Eren was finally recovered enough to leave the infirmary, but he was strictly prohibited from any training, missions, and extraneous activities. You have been avoiding him for days, unable to come to terms with your feelings you thought it best to stay away.

"You're eventually going to have to tell him you can hide from your feelings forever," Armin said to you quietly.

"Shut up, Armin," you punched his shoulder just a little too rough. He winches in pain, and you touch his arm.

"Sorry." You start to blabber about how you're used to hitting Eren because he can take a hit. You didn't realize Armin was trying to tell you that Eren was right behind you. A slight punch suddenly hits the middle of your back causing you to fall forward into Armin's chest. You turn around quickly to see you hit you. Your eyes lock with Eren's, trying to speak, but nothing comes out of your mouth. His green eyes peer into yours. It feels like your entire being is melting into the palm of his hand.

"Shouldn't you be picking on someone your own size," Eren smirks at you.

"Uhhh," you fumble your words trying to form a comprehensible sentence but fail.

"I gotta go!" You said quickly as you darted off somewhere far away from Erin and Armin.

Finally catching your breath you stood in front of the shower house you are reminded of a prank you pulled on Eren just a few months ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a long day of combat training and Eren was the first to use the shower, like always. Connie dared you to sneak into the men's showers and take Eren's clothes and hide them in a nearby bush.

"Easy! You should come up with a harder one next time," you smirked knowing this was going to be way simple. Quietly you snuck in being extremely careful not to slam any doors. You glanced around trying to find Eren's clothes, the steam from the showers making it hard to see. Stumbling into one of the benches close to the showers.

"Fuck that hurt."

"Hello? Who's there?" You heard Eren call out. Your heartbeat quickened as you heard the water turn off.

shit shit shit where are they?

Finally, you found the clothes tucked away under the bench. You guessed this isn't the first time this happened to him. You balled up his clothes and ran out. The steam made your hair stick to your forehead as you threw his clothes in a bush.

"Nice going (y/n)!" Connie gave you a high-five. Both of you waited for Eren to realize his clothes were missing, but to both of your surprises, Eren walked out of the showers butt-ass naked with only one of his hands covering his goods. Your jaw dropped at the sight of him the sunlight made his wet skin glisten. He shook out his hair causing water droplets to scatter around him. You followed the water as it dripped down his toned chest and pass his carefully carved abs. Your eyes followed the v line just below his abs.

"My eyes are up here! Now, where did you put my clothes, darling?" Eren steps closer to you feeling the heat radiate off him from his shower. Your mouth stayed agape and all you could do was point over to the bush. He made his way over not bothering to cover his ass.

"Well, that was fun," Eren chuckled as he pulled up his pants and let them sit on his hips unbuttoned.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Wetness started to pool in between your thighs, causing you to blush from the intrusive thoughts of Eren. You looked around to make sure no one would follow you. After stepping into the shower, you took your clothes off, and neatly folded them, and placed them on the bench. You pulled the curtain closed in hopes of having a sliver of privacy. The cold water rushed over your body and hair. Your nipples became hard as the cold water ran over them. Your mind began to imagine Eren behind you and what his hands would feel like as he rubbed your shoulders and softly caressing your breasts. Maybe he would snake one of his hands down your waist and tease your folds as the other would grip your neck pulling you back into his bare chest.

"Mmm. Eren," you moaned teasing yourself closer and closer to orgasm. Your finger moved faster in circles around your clit. A tightness started building up in your core and just about as you were going to come undone the door to showers swung open. FUCK! Disappointed in your attempt to relieve some stress you quickly got dressed.

"Hey (y/n)," Sasha greeted you, but you bolted past her "okay, bye!"

You didn't want to be rude to Sasha, but you had other things on your mind. All of them were Eren. Your body ached for his. You wondered want it would feel like on top of yours. Your mind kept racing all these thoughts about him and what he looked like under his clothes.

"(Y/N)! Instead of daydreaming why don't you help in the kitchen?" You were quickly drawn away from your thoughts as Levi approached you.

"Sorry Captain, I-" you tried to explain yourself before Levi shut you down.

"You're almost as bad as Eren." Eren? You clung to his name.

"What's wrong with Eren?" You ask.

"Well, since he's been released from the infirmary he's been zoning out. But enough chit-chat go help get dinner ready."

You made your way to the kitchen. Both Connie and Sasha were slacking off and having a baguette battle.

"Guys, let's do what needs to be done. I'm tired and want to go to sleep." You announce. It took about an hour to get prepped and cooked. By the time you were done cooking, you wanted to go to your room and finish what you couldn't in the showers.

After finally arriving at your room. You quickly shut your door. The rooms weren't big, but none the less you were grateful to have your own after spending a year in the barracks. The rooms were massive, but they were a decent size for one person. A desk with a wooden chair sat in the far corner and a closet just big enough to hold a few scout uniforms and a full-size bed. Still, a layer of dust covered everything although you didn't mind. It wasn't like you were going to be staying in your room all day.

You rubbed your eyes and sat at the edge of your bed, taking off your boots and jacket, neatly putting them away in the closet. You always hated taking off your harness there were so many buckles and straps, you got confused so easily. The only light to work with was an oil lamp fixed to the wall. You sighed heavily as you finished folding up your clothes and getting into your pajamas.

As you laid down in your bed thoughts of Eren came back to you. Softly you moaned as you pawed at your breast and teased your nipple. Woefully imagining it was Eren's instead of yours. You felt a wetness start to pool between your legs. Slipping your hands down your shorts your finger circled your clit. You were a virgin, but you still knew what happened you just never found anyone worthy enough. Expect for Eren.

You moaned as you came closer and closer to climax, but it was cut short again. "(Y/N)..." You had sworn you heard someone moan your name. Quickly you pulled your covers over your body as you listen to the room next to you and you heard it again. You were sure someone was moaning your name. In the room next to yours you heard the bed squeak as someone got up from it. Your heart beated faster as you heard footsteps approached your door. You closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. The door to your room slowly creaked open. "(Y/N)... Are you awake?" It was Eren. You still didn't open your eyes as the door shut and Eren sat on the edge of your bed. He took your hand and held it and pressed it to his chest.

"I know you're asleep but I wanted to tell you, thank you for saving me, I know everyone told you to leave me but you didn't and I'm grateful. I don't know why you've been avoiding me, but I probably deserve it somehow." You heard his voice crack and you could tell he was about to cry.

"I just don't know how to tell you this but here does nothing, I love you (Y/N)." You opened your eyes and saw Eren crying.

"I love you too." You said sitting up in your bed. Your hands cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were soft and perfectly fit in between yours. It was sweet and soft but your core ached for him. He pulled you onto his lap and brushed your hair behind your ear.

"I can't tell you how many nights I wished for this, to be here with you." Eren buried his face into your chest.

"You don't have to wish anymore," you told him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again this time softly biting on his lower lips. He moaned into the kiss sending chills down your spine. He gripped your hips, his callused fingers dug into your sides almost as if he was scared you were fall through his hands if he didn't hold you tight enough.

Your hips ground into his causing a deep moan to escape from his lips. His erection grew quickly underneath you. Eren flipped you over on your back onto the mattress. He stood up and began removing his shirt. Your eyes followed the skin on his stomach as more of it was exposed. Moonlight peaked in through the window, shining on his torso. It was beautiful, hours and hours of training had paid off.

"My eyes are up here, darling" he chuckled as he climbed on top of you. You couldn't help but feel his chest and abs. His piercing green eyes looked into yours. His lips crashed into yours, it was sloppy and wet and hot. Your clothes limited his access to your perfect body. He slowly took off your shirt and kissed up your stomach and in between your breasts before he took one in each hand and massaged them. His thumb rubbing your nipples before he took it in his mouth and circled it with his tongue. Your fingers ran through his hair as you leaned your head back and moaned. He made his way up to your neck kissing and sucking on it. You knew for sure there was going to be a hickey tomorrow but you didn't care. You wanted everyone to know that you were Eren's and that he was yours too.

"Eren, I need you." You begged him to touch you. He leaned back on his calves and pulled your legs up to his chest, slowly removing your shorts.

"You're so wet for me already, have you been expecting me?" He chuckled and smirked as he pushed your legs apart. His hot breath hit your folds making you beg for him even more.

"Please please Eren!" Your cries for his touch were desperate. Him seeing how much you needed him turned him on. He was throbbing in his jeans. His finger slid up your folds and collected your wetness before he put it in his mouth and sucked on his finger.

"Open your mouth," he commanded and you did as he stuck his finger in your mouth. "Suck." His voice was deep and demanding making you want him even more. Your tongue danced around his finger you tasted yourself on his finger. His mouth attached itself to your clit and you threw your head back moaning. His tongue circling your clit making you bite down on your lip to keep from moaning too loud. Your hands found their way to his beautiful brawn locks, your fingers entangled themselves pulling slightly. Eren groaned and gripped your thighs tighter, maybe enough to leave bruises. The idea of having Eren's fingerprints lingering on your skin turned you on even more.

Eren's erection grew harder and slightly painful. He stood up from the bed and a whine came from your mouth in protest.

"Don't worry we aren't done yet. Do you know how much my hand hurts by now? I'm so glad you accepted my feelings so I can fuck you now."

"All you had to do was ask" you teased back at him "but you should know I'm a virgin." You weren't shy about it, it was just how you were.

"Well, I am too, if that makes you feel better." You sat up on your knees and began to undo Eren's pants. You could hear his moan that he held back. Your fingers slipped between his skin and underwear slowly teasing it down before releasing the waistband and having it snap back to his skin. A low hiss rolled out of his mouth as he smirked at you and his eye went darker with lust.

In a fit of lust Eren quickly removed his pants and pulled his cock out. Your eyes widen at the sight, you always thought Eren was big but never this big.

"Suck now." His tone cold and demanding. You took it in one hand and started to suck on the tip of his cock. You could taste the precum from the tip. His hand placed at the back of your head slowly pushing you further and further down. Your hands gripped his thighs as he drove his cock deeper into your face. You looked up at him, he looked so hot his eyes were rolled back and beautiful moans escaped his mouth.

"Ahhh fuck (Y/N) your so warm. I'm so close, will you be a good girl and swallow for me?" He looked down, locking his eyes with yours, you nod.

"Mmmm that's my girl." He continued to fuck your face, his hands cupping your checks. A warm salty liquid flowed into your mouth. You swallowed it and sucked the rest off his cock before opening your math to show him.

"Fuck... You're such a good slut for me." He crawled on top of you. "I'm gonna take such good care of you," he kissed your stomach right below your navel. He slowly slid two fingers inside of you making you arch your back and grip the sheets. He took his time moving his fingers in and out of you taking care to make sure you never felt any pain.

"More Eren, please..." you begged for him, bringing him closer for a kiss. He lined himself up at your entrance wetting his tip on your folds. He steadied himself by placing his hand next to your head. He looked into your eyes. "Ready, darling?" You nodded. He slowly pushed his tip in both of you letting out moans of each other's names. You momentarily adjusted to his size before he added another inch. You wrapped your legs around his hips allowing him to fully enter you.

"Oh fuck, you're so tight I could cum right now," Eren moaned into your chest. Your breath was heavy as you fully adjusted to his massive size. Eren pressed his forehead to yours as he thrust in and out of you at a good pace. You moaned and softly bit into his shoulder careful not to hurt him and activate his Titan.

His thrust because faster and faster. You moaned his name over and over again. Sweat started to drip from his forehead, you could tell he was holding back his orgasm. The tip of his cock hitting your cervix. Eren let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" You asked.

"I can it inside you. Look." You glanced at your stomach and saw the tip pressing the skin up. "Fuck I can't wait to fill you up with my seed." He pounded harder into you as your orgasm started to build.

"Eren I'm getting close," you mewled in his ear. His thrust becomes sloppy as his thumb played with clit and that sent you over the edge. Eren watched as your body twitched underneath him. It felt like your entire body was on ice and fire at the same time. Eren was not long after you as he slammed one last time into you and let out the most beautiful moan you ever heard.

"Ahhh fuckkkkk (Y/N). You were such a good girl for me." He pulled out and laid down next to you pulling you close to him.

"I love you. I always have. I don't care if this world is unfair and unforgiving. A world that doesn't have you isn't where I want to be." You pressed your face into his chest and slowly fell asleep.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏 (𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳)× 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞)

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.4K

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨. 𝐇𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞), 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢- 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧- 𝐆𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐍' 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬/ 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲- 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @brie02 @deja-vux @rvse-miingi @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez

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Waving enthusiastically at the crowd cheering loudly at the end of their performance, Mingi's eyes were scanning each and every one of the sections in the auditorium. To anyone it would seem as though he was making sure to shine his beautiful and radiant smile to all the adoring fans that came to watch and support him and his members, and yes that was partly why. But it wasn't just that. He had hope as he scanned every face in there. Hope of once again seeing her again. He could hear his own heartbeat pump against his ears, the sound drowning out all the chanting coming from the thousands of fans gathered in there.

Sensing what was going on, one of his members couldn't help but let out a sigh. Leaning in close enough so he could hear him, he whispered in his ear.

"She's not here Mingi."

He expected such words from his best friend, who although with good intentions, seemed to try to ground him back down to earth and inadvertently crush his hopes. But he never took it personally. He knew Yunho was only trying to look out for him and spare him more heartache. Nudging him slightly, the equally tall male swung an arm around Mingi's broad shoulders, plastering on a smile out to the crowd once more as he led them backstage as slowly the members started to walk off the stage as scheduled. Accepting that the night was over, Mingi pulled his face away from the crowd and began walking away. He would have ultimately called it another uneventful concert that ended the same way and just go back to change into his normal clothes and then join the rest of the group back at the hotel to lounge and rest.

But he felt a something strange, pulling and beckoning him to look back at the scatter of people behind him once more. Slowly, he tried his head, unsure of where to look exactly, eyes wandering around aimlessly. Until they spotted what he believed to be a familiar red scarf wrapped around a person's neck, effectively covering up the bottom half of their face while their head had a matching beret that covered their forehead entirely. Although he couldn't see much other than their body frame, he felt his heart swell up, legs unable to move as he stared at the figure. Yunho stopped when he felt Mingi no longer walking behind him. Walking back to him, he put on a smile so as to not act suspicious and began pulling him away.

"Mingi..we have to go."

But Mingi stayed grounded, still scanning the figure he had locked his eyes on. The person began walking away, almost as if they didn't even acknowledge him.

"Wait hold on-"

Just as he was about to run off the stage and follow them, Yunho harshly tugged on his arm and fiercely guided him backstage, waving out towards the people still watching them so as to not arouse suspicion or have them think something was wrong.

"Mingi, it's not her. You always swear it is but it's not."

Yunho didn't mean to sound so aggressive towards his long life friend, but he cared about him too much and didn't want him getting false illusions that would only end up in him getting more hurt than what he already was.

"I know but it's different! Yunho she was wearing the scarf I gave her. I know it was it!" He insisted, anxiously looking towards the door, debating whether or not he could make a dash and catch up to the individual.

Shaking his head, Yunho placed his hands on top of his friend's shoulders.

"Mingi.....there's a million red scarfs out there. And you were too far away. Honestly I think....."

He hesitated before speaking his next words, knowing how sensitive Mingi got with the topic.

"Forget about her."

As if on instinct, Mingi shook his head.

"No! I can't. I promised I'd wait for her and I'm not breaking my word. I'll stay faithful to it until she comes back."

"But what if she doesn't?! It's been over two years Mingi! Face the facts. She's not coming back. Y/N never loved-"

"Don't say that! She did- she does love me! I know she does!"

Yunho took a step back. Seeing Mingi become so agitated and frustrated like that truly terrified him. It was always dangerous to have him get mad or overly worked up. Sensing that he probably startled his friend a little too much, Mingi ran a hand over his dyed blonde hair, a despondent sigh coming out his mouth.

"Hey Yunho I'm sorry..... I think.... I need some air."

After changing into his normal clothes, Mingi didn't get in the van like most of the other guys who just wanted to go relax back at the hotel, nor did he follow Wooyoung or Hongjoong to go check out some of the nearby stores. He simply walked in the opposite direction, mindlessly strolling the streets of the unfamiliar city he was currently in. The slight rumbling of the skies and the subtle scent of dew signaled that it was more than likely going to start pouring rain soon. Even though he was wearing one of his long trenchcoat, the slight breeze that blew across sent tiny chills down his spine, nearly making his teeth chatter.

As if it were a beacon, Mingi stumbled across a small and cozy looking coffee shop. Making sure it was still open, he cheerfully greeted the sweet looking old woman behind the counter, who seemed to brighten up at seeing such a handsome young lad at such an hour. Very calmly and politely, he ordered just a simple caramel cappuccino, which the owner was delighted to whip up for him. Just as he took out his wallet to pay, he had a weird inkling feeling for some reason.

"Uh..... do you perhaps sell hot cocoa?" He inquired nervously.

After getting confirmation that they indeed made hot chocolate, Mingi asked if there was any possible way they could add peppermint to it. He could already feel the judgmental stare about to be given to him as most baristas did with such an unpopular request. Although she seemed surprised by the special addition of peppermint, she didn't hesitate to assure him she'd definitely make it as he liked. Mingi felt so grateful to the kind lady, making sure to leave her a generous tip before taking both of his drinks and going back outside.

Spotting a nearby gazebo, Mingi went over and sat down on one of the benches that were placed underneath the roof of it. Setting the hot mint chocolate down next to him, he sipped his cappuccino slowly, being careful not to burn his tongue on the scorching hot liquid. It had the perfect amount of foam in it, with not too much caramel added in it so the strong espresso could still be made out. Wiping off some of the froth that accidentally got on the tip of his nose, he peered down at the untouched drink next to him. Chuckling dryly to himself, he picked up the cup and scanned it with deep curiosity.

"You always were so different and unique." He mused to himself.

Putting it back down, he began to think it was absolutely silly to have bought it just because of some momentary whim he felt back in the coffee shop.

Or was it nostalgia?

Mingi began to believe it was the latter, especially considering what month it was. After all, it was during this exact same time 2 years ago, on a cold and gloomy November where everything started...

Or perhaps ended?

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Exhausted panting came from all 8 of the sweaty bodies of the males in the room, about half of them were already reaching for their water bottles to gulp down the contents before proceeding to try catching their breath once more. The strict yet kind eyes watching them announced they would be taking a break before saying they'd be rehearsing for another hour or two. Simultaneous groans and protests were elicited by the members, who were already tired from thinking about burning a few more calories with their intense dance sessions.

"Looks like I'm missing the new episode of aot." San dramatically layed on the floor, arms sprawled out.

"I'm calling first dibs on the shower when we get back." Seonghwa declared, not afraid of using his status as the oldest member if it meant getting himself cleaned.

"Aww Hyung! You take showers that are way too long! You'll finish all the hot water like last time." Woow already began nagging, which in turn started another argument between his both of them, with San and Yunho joining in to offer backup if necessary.

Ignoring their pointless bantering, Mingi took the time to call up his girlfriend to let her know. It took quite some time for her to pick up his call, it had actually become a rather recent and constant habit of hers, contrary to before when she'd immediately answer on the second ring.

"What?" Her voice sounded somewhat annoyed and tired, which Mingi guessed had something to do with her work.

"Hey baby, looks like I'm going to be staying late at the company for practice. I'm sorry, I really wanted to spend time with you, but I'm not sure it's possible." He could feel his heart pounding as he began imagining her disappointed and disheartened look.

As expected, he heard her sigh through the other end, a brief pause where he only heard her breathing before she finally spoke up.

"That's fine. I'm going to be pulling extra hours today anyways so....don't be sorry. Maybe it works out in the end."

Mingi noticed how dry and monotone she sounded, as if it didn't really bother her that this would yet be another week where they hardly spoke and spent time together for more than 10 minutes.

"Oh ok....take care then, and remember to eat a snack in between hours ok? I don't want you starving yourself ok baby?"

The girl on the other end of the line didn't need to see him to know he was more than likely pouting at her as usual, always fussing to her about her health.

"Ok. Take care Mingi."

"Y/N!.............."

He bit his lip before saying the next words.

"I- I love you." Although he forced a smile on his face, his voice trembled with fear at saying that.

"I....I know. I gotta go."

Once more, she hung up without repeating those same words back to him. Mingi didn't understand why his girlfriend of forever seemed to be acting strange. Lately she hardly had anything to say, she looked less and less animated each time they video chatted, the dark circles under her eyes were becoming more prominent and judging by the way her cheeks looked a little sunken and clothes looked baggy on her, he fussed she was not eating properly.

But the thing that scared Mingi the most was seeing her soulless eyes. Those eyes that once held the entire stars in them, were now empty and completely void of any emotion. She never initiated any form of physical contact with him, it was always him pulling her into an embrace or placing a kiss on her head, nose or lips, and even when she reciprocated them, they were always cold and almost robotic.

It was starting to terrify him.

"Mingi!"

He nearly dropped his phone when the tiny leader called out to him.

"Break time is over. We gotta start again."

Putting his phone back in his bag he promised himself that even if he left at early dawn, he would go over and see his lover. He just had to.

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Letting out a long and exasperated sigh, Y/N kicked off her heels and left them on the front of the door, her toes aching after all the grueling and arduous hours of both sitting and running up and down floors. Her once neat bun now had various hairs poking out from several places and was now drooping lower than in the morning. She slumped her tired body over to her bedroom, ready to just indulge in a warm shower and then head to bed. But the last thing she expected to see when she turned on the light, was none other than her boyfriend.

"Hey." He waved his hand at her, a soft smile on his lips.

She was momentarily confused with his presence.

"I thought you had practice." She raised an eyebrow, her tone sounding more accusatory than with delight.

"I did...but then I came over here." He explained.

"Why?"

Mingi blinked at her question, stunned that she would even ask why. Getting up from the bed, he slowly walked over to her cautiously. Once he was right in front of her, he reached a hand out to caress her cheek.

"Why? I naturally wanted to see you.....hear you...touch you."

Arms wrapping around her waist, he lowered his face until he pressed a soft kiss to her mildly chapped lips. Although he felt her give in after a while, he could feel that her heart was not in it. Every brush of her lips felt extremely languid and emotionless, even after he had turned a little more desperate and began to trail messy kisses across her jaw, her hands did not move away from her sides, her head only tilting to allow him more access to her skin. Before he could move to pull off her shirt, she stopped him by gripping his wrists.

"If you don't mind I'd like to clean myself off first."

Not even giving him a chance to say anything, she pushed past him and made a beeline to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned her back on it, staring into the floor for a few minutes in a somewhat catatonic state. Taking a deep breath, she slowly removed each one of the articles of clothing on her body, all of them feeling like a heavy weight on her. Ripping the scrunchie off her hair, she tossed it onto the floor so it could join the pile that had already been made in a corner. Sliding the glass door open, she got inside the shower and quickly turned on the water, first the splashes coming out at an almost freezing temperature, which although her body shivered at, she did not shrink away from. Then the water finally adjusted to a more warm temperature, not too hot but warm enough to soothe her sore muscles.

Closing her eyes, she decided to simply bask in the warmth of the water coating her body, shutting off her mind from all the spiraling thoughts that had been clouding her mind for the past weeks, refusing to go away and seemingly taunting her at every hour when she least expected it. She hurt, she was in pain yet there were no physical evidence of it. She could barely eat more than 2 bites of any meal she intook because it suddenly felt too full. At nights, her eyes drooped heavy with sleep, yet her restless mind wouldn't allow her even one full hour of sweet slumber though that's all she wanted.....

She just wanted to fall asleep and hopefully never wake up so as to not feel the pain and emptiness she felt.

So lost was she in the moment that she failed to hear or notice the one individual coming in to join her until she felt familiar hands come to wrap themselves around her waist.

"It's all right love. It's just me." Mingi softly whispered when she gasped lightly at the sudden touch.

Letting her relax under his touch before doing anything else, Mingi's fingers slowly began drawing circles around her hips as he kept his face buried in her neck. Inhaling deeply, he could make out her unique scent that his senses had committed to memory, but could also faintly discern a somewhat different odor that he had never before detected on her before. It was slightly off-putting to him, but he opted for brushing it off. After all, she worked with several people at her job.

Slowly, he began peppering kisses along her shoulder, which seemed to trigger deep and blissful sighs to exude from her nose. His hands moved up to cup around her breasts, kneading at her soft skin while the thumbs grazed over her sensitive nubs in a careful motion. Soft moans poured out from her mouth. Tilting her head back, she reached a hand up to bring her lover's face to hers so she could kiss him. Her moans were now being eaten up by his mouth and tongue as his fingers stroked between her legs, probing at her folds and rubbing at her clit. Pulling apart to catch her breath, Y/N looked up at Mingi with longing and desperation.

"Please....more." She begged at him.

Prying her folds open, he carefully inserted two of his slender and long fingers inside her, her walls practically sucking him in. She felt so tight around him, her walls hugging and clenching all around his fingers. Y/N threw her head back against his shoulder as she began grinding against his hand, savoring as she was finally feeling something, anything in a long time. Her hand had moved to pet at his head, her fingers brushing away his now damp hair in gentle caresses. Wanting to see, feel him more, she removed his hand away from her mound and firmly pressed him towards one of the walls, where she then began to kiss him hungrily and in subtle anguish.

Mingi just allowed her to take control for that moment, his heart lightening up at finally getting some reaction from her. He let her take a hold of his erect cock and pump him slowly as her mouth sucked on several patches of skin on his neck to leave tiny blotches across it. He missed this, he missed being intimate with her and missed having her touch him, not to fulfill any sexual yearning, but to be close to her. He always saw these tender and passionate moments as a display of their love and bond.

Soon the water had been turned off and both of their dripping bodies were fumbling out and landing on top of the bed. Mingi hissed softly as he watched his beautiful girlfriend sink down and his length.

"Fuck. It's been too long."

Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her, wanting to be as close as possible as he began to roll his hips up. Wanting to take his time, Mingi took one of her supple breasts and stuffed it in his mouth, giving it various light suckles and then adding a few kisses onto it. Y/N began panting and moaning uncontrollably, so many emotions rushing through her all at once. It seemed as if all that time of not feeling anything had left her somewhat numb to emotions that now she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by all the ones that were hitting her now:

Love, lust, passion, anger, fury, agony, guilt, one by one they all crashed into her head and heart. It was becoming too much for her and it began to scare her somewhat. But she didn't want them to stop, she wanted to cling onto those emotions just a little longer, no matter what or how. She hadn't even realized her hands had placed themselves on Mingi's broad shoulders, holding her steady as she began to bounce herself on top of him, slow tears trickling down her cheeks as muffled cries of desperation were being choked back and bitten back by her lips. Her fear of not feeling anymore soon turned to rage, and it was manifesting itself as she fucked herself on her boyfriend, who by now had noticed the change in her mood.

Mingi tried to grip her hips down, but she didn't seem to care and tried to push his hands away. His calling out to her fell upon deaf ears as she swatted his hands, tat were trying to steady her, away. Finally, he firmly held her wrists and kept her from moving as he forced her to look at him.

"Y/N!" He sharply exclaimed, breaking her out of her trance.

Feeling her body starting to shake, Y/N looked away in shame, her eyes threatening to spill out more tears.

"Baby, look at me, what's wrong?" Mingi gently cupped her chin.

Not meaning to be so mean, but Y/N brushed his hand away and began to climb off him.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry."

Getting up, she ransacked her drawer and pulled out some clothes and dressed herself in an inhumane speed.

"Honey, we can talk about it-" Mingi tried to touch her once more but she pulled away once more.

"I don't want to talk about it! Please! I just want to go to bed."

Marching over to the closet, she grabbed some spare pillows and a blanket.

"I'm sleeping on the couch." She firmly stated, not about to let herself be dissuaded from her resolution.

"Y/N, please don't do this. Stop shutting me out."

With one final attempt, Mingi grabbed her shoulder and turned her arousal to face him, eyes intently searching and scanning every inch of her face for a clue as to what was bothering her.

"Talk to me love, you know you can."

Y/N opened her mouth, about to spill what was on her heart, but ultimately decided against it.

"I can't.....I'm sorry. Just please....let me be for now."

Mingi's hands fell to his sides in defeat as he watched the most important person in his life leave him there, alone. He hated this, hated having her become so distant from him. He could feel it in his heart that sooner or later she was going to snap and hurt his heart, probably more than what he was imagining.

But he was ready for that moment.

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Having gotten absolutely no sleep that night, Y/N ended up getting up just hours before the sun was supposed to rise. Making sure to make as little noise as possible, she made sure to bundle up since it was chilly outside. She looked over at the peaceful and sleeping figure of her boyfriend, who was softly letting out subtle snores as his hands clutched around a pillow, holding onto it as if his life depended on it. He could never fully call asleep unless he was holding something, that something always being her. She could make out a faint wet patch on his pillow where his cheek rested, tell tale sign that he had been crying the night before, just as she had done.

With a kiss to his forehead, she left the house and headed out, her destination still unclear. She just walked wherever her legs led her to, whether conscious or unconsciously. There was hardly a soul around to keep her company on that lonely and cold morning walk in the autumn breeze. Her teeth were chattering inside her mouth whenever a rather blunt force of air swooped past her, making her lick her lips as she felt them drying up even more.

Without realizing it she had come across a small and serene park, a trail specifically used for early joggers right in front of her. Following the trail, she kept her head down as she slowly strolled through the immense trees surrounding her. The golden and garnet hued leaves were scattered about all around the semi dead grass, some of it blowing through the air. She paid no attention to them though, she paid no attention at all to her surroundings. She couldn't feel anything anyways, even the cold air was becoming numb to her at this point.

"Mind if I join you?"

She halted in her steps when a low voice spoke from behind her. She didn't need to see him to know who he was.

"How'd you know I was here?" She questioned him without turning around still.

"Lucky guess."

Moving in front of her, Mingi's tall figure loomed over hers, studying her mood which right now seemed apathetic and melancholic. Standing there all quiet for a brief moment, Mingi was the one who decided to break the ice.

"I love you, you know that right?"

Without even batting an eye, Y/N slowly nodded. Expecting that reaction, Mingi chuckled dryly.

"You know it's been a while since I've heard you respond at all to me saying that...."

Once more, she had no expression on her face, hardly even blinking as she stared right through him, almost as if he wasn't there. But she was listening to him, and he knew it too. Brushing some hair behind her ear, Mingi let out a deep sigh.

"Y/N...... I know you're not ok. I don't know how or what it is you're feeling, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Maybe you should go see a therapist, a doctor, I don't know. We'll find out what's wrong so you-"

"Mingi I don't know what I feel for you anymore."

He felt as if a knife had been plunged at his chest. Although he expected her to say something that would hurt him, he still wasn't fully ready to hear those words.

"Just 2 months ago you said and thought differently. Back then you always told me you loved me and cherished me." He kindly reminded her.

"Maybe feelings change." She bluntly stated.

"Yes they do which is why I don't believe you when you say you don't feel anything for me anymore. I know my Y/N, I know the girl I fell in love with and I know that these past weeks, seeing how you're acting.......that's not you."

She didn't move away when he cupped her cheeks.

"I know you still love me, I can see it in your eyes. Your love is just restrained right now. Just give it time. Trust me."

Choking back tears, Y/N finally made eye contact with him.

"Just end it Mingi. I don't have the heart to do it, so please just end things with me. Don't hold onto me anymore. Move on with your life and find someone who can love you like you deserve to be loved."

Mingi immediately shook his head, that being an option he was not accepting.

"Baby, do you need some time on your own? Some time alone? I can give you that. Maybe that way it'll be good for you to use that time to get help and-"

"Mingi I cheated on you." She confessed.

His body stood frozen in place at her admittance, yet he was not shocked at all. The weird scent he detected on her and the way she sometimes recoiled from his touch as if guilt ate her alive, he always had that thought on the back of his head.

"So you fell in love with someone else?"

Y/N let out a sob.

"No.......absolutely not. It meant nothing and I just did it because I wanted to feel something, anything and he was right there. But that's no excuse and I'm sorry Mingi. I'm sorry I'm not the girlfriend you deserve. You deserve so much better than me. Someone who's not broken, foolish and dead already. So please..."

Her hands came up to hide her face as she began crying like she hadn't done in a long time.

"Just forget about me....."

Even if she didn't want it, Mingi embraced her, holding her tightly as she tearfully spilled her heart and emotions out. His heart ached for her. She was suffering, emotionally and mentally she was in pain and she didn't even want to admit it. He couldn't force her to get help, but he couldn't just leave her like that. It would tear him apart if he did. Stroking her hair, he waited until her sobbing and hyperventilating had calmed down before saying anything.

"Y/N.....you need some time alone. We....need some time alone. And I'm willing to give you as much time as you need to heal. But you have to promise me that you'll get help. It's not fair for you to keep living this way. You deserve to be happy."

Pulling back, he used his thumbs to brush away some of the tears off her cheeks.

"But this doesn't mean I'm ending things nor forgetting about you. This is only a break until you're all better and ready to come back to me."

Y/N stared at him in disbelief.

"Song Mingi, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought you were."

He giggled softly at that.

"I'm an idiot who loves you and will always love you. And this idiot knows you still love me, even if your brain refuses to let you believe it now."

Pressing his forehead against hers, he shut his eyes to keep himself from crying.

"I'll be waiting for you until you come back to me....."

Taking off the red scarf that was hanging on his neck, he wrapped it around her neck and softly padded it on.

I know you'll be back."

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He left her with a final kiss on her lips and watched her walk away, disappearing from his life for about 2 years. Rain had begun to fall then just as it was falling in that moment. Picking up the untouched peppermint hot chocolate and discarding his cappuccino on a nearby trash bin, Mingi stepped out of the gazebo and began walking back to the hotel, not caring about getting soaked in the pouring rain. Perhaps it could help to mask the tears that were beginning to spill out from his eyes. He had never felt his longing for the person he still regarded as his soulmate so dearly as he felt right then and there. He felt as if his oxygen was being caught off, his hope was beginning to dwindle, all the words his friends would often say to him were revolving around his head.

Were they right? Should he stop waiting for her? Was he wrong? Should he just move on?

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard someone open an umbrella behind him, the person hovering it over him so the rain wouldn't hit him anymore. He felt his heart beating harshly against his chest, some overpowering sensation telling him to turn around, which he slowly began to do. The first thing his eyes caught was the familiar red scarf tied to the person's neck. He recognized it immediately. And when he looked up at the face that was looking back at him, he no longer had any doubts left.

"Y/N...." He whispered out.

Through tears in her eyes, she smiled at him, not a fake nor cold one, but a genuine and heart warming smile, just like the one she had plastered on her face when they first met each other.

"Hey Mingi. How are you?" She asked.

"I...I'm fine. ....how are you?" They both knew what he was referring to.

"I'm a lot better actually. Taking medication still sucks but I'm a lot better and happier now. My therapist has been working with me all this time so...yeah.." She seemed a little awkward talking about it, but Mingi wasn't going to push her.

"I'm glad, I truly am happy for you."

Looking back at the cup in his hand, he held it out to her.

"It's probably not hot anymore, but it's your favorite."

Y/N was surprised that he even had or remembered what her favorite was. Taking a small sip, she couldn't help the tiny grin spreading on her cheeks.

"It's perfect. I never liked it super hot either way."

They both chuckled at that known fact between them. Soon there was another silence between them, and once again it was Mingi who broke it. Brushing some hair away from her face, he stared into her eyes.

"I love you."

Looking up at him, her eyes no longer void nor cold, but instead full of life and love, Y/N answered back.

"I love you too."

Unable to hold himself back, Mingi held her tightly, overwhelmed with emotions as he finally held the love of his life in his arms once more.

"I knew you'd come back to me...."

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