#it explains all of azure’s motivations !!! SOBBING

[chryzure-archive]

I was listening to Achilles Come Down earlier today and it did make me think of Azure (bc ya know… French…) and uhhh can I get any rant about he and Chrysi please? I love them a lot 🥺

that song’s on so many of their playlists! mostly the vibe is sooooo 🥰🥰🥰 but ummmm, yes 🖤 i have a rant for them because they’re so…! i mean, like, major spoilers for the fic in working on but i’ve already spoiled everything regarding it because it’s jst a way for me to explain how chrysi caused jacks’s kiss + what it was that caused azure to try and save chrysi by leaving her !!!!

but BASICALLY

azures devotion to chrysi is his end-all, be-all. it is all he cares about. her happiness matters above all else (and he would prefer it if they could be happy together, but he’ll put his own needs aside for his chryseis)

that’s why it HURTS LIKE HELL that in this backstory fic (epilogue—commencement & closure), chrysi DIES IN HIS ARMS. while he’s asleep! she died and he didn’t even know it. i think that chrysi dying, jst in general, is enough to break him—but to have her die and he was there, useless and asleep? that shatters him and UGH, of course he’s going to make a bad decision!!!! he wants nothing more than to have chrysi back or to be with chrysi. that’s all he wants. he was willing to run away from being the crown prince and to steal money frm the royal treasury to fund a treatment effort for chrysi’s illness :(((

then he makes a deal with the stars and HE DOESNT THINK IT THROUGH ENTIRELY!!! he should’ve seen that the phrasing “you’ll live through many lives with her—as many as you need until you reach your happy ending” WAS SUSPICIOUS AS HELL….. why did the stars make it sound like only a happy ending was the way to get their reincarnations to stop!! and why does it seem like they’re using azure and chrysi as their new entertainment? of COURSE the stars will start to interfere with their future lives and make them miserable so they don’t lose out on their new favorite tv show of chryzure heartbreaks!!!!!

but he misses chrysi so much and he can’t live w the guilt,,,, and so he dies by her side 💔💔💔 but he doesn’t even get the courtesy of remaining human, because the stars make him a bed of roses instead.

then, like…. when azure realizes, in all his future lives, that because of that decision he made, he’s doomed chrysi (and him) to an endless string of lives ending in tragedy, GOD. the GUILT HE FEELS. all because he loved chrysi so much and because he made a decision for her happiness…. but now he has to realize that he made a huge mistake and that it’s all his fault. WAILING. CRYING. PLEASE!!!!

so it’s a combo of guilt and a hope that, if azure leaves, then chrysi won’t be doomed to another tragic ending + she’ll be able to escape the loop of reincarnation they’re trapped in,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but unfortunately, he also needs to have a happy ending for it to be over, and the only way he’ll be happy is if it’s with her…! AAAAGHHHH!!!!

so that’s why he left chrysi with jacks 🤧 the future he referenced in that one letter was rlly jst him remembering that he made a deal with the stars so he and chrysi would keep coming back until they have a “happily ever after” and he couldn’t handle getting chrysi killed again,,,, so he LEFT.

not that he’s not doing something to try and combat his own deal (the entire time chrysi’s w jacks, azure is trying to figure out how to beat the stars, if there’s a loophole, if he could jst Kill All Of Them), but it’s also… idk, a hope that chrysi’s childhood friend can be a happy ending for her. but, unfortunately, azure is also jealous and he doesn’t want chrysi to be with anyone other than him. he’s got a lot going on

[miu15]

❝  i can’t say no to you.  and it’s just not fair.  ❞ for mathilda and leorio... *eye emoji*

Mathilda Charas (OC)/Leorio Paradiknight

Listen, this ship is just so wholesome

Mathilda tugged her backpack on tighter, accidentally catching a strand of her blonde wig by accident. It slipped askew, pull the hair over her eyes. She cursed loudly and felt the sting of tears, flowing against her wishes. Everyone was asleep now, Leorio and Kurapika had passed out on the living room couch while watching a scary movie. Gon and Killua were upstairs tucked into bed, she had personally seen that they were comfortable and cared for. She also made sure the movie was one Kurapika and Leorio had already seen, all it took was some sad eyes of, “I was never allowed to watch,” to convince them to watch it again. She could cry now, no one would see her. But now was the moment to leave. Everyone was safe and everyone was serene. Their multiple run ins with the Zoldycks was one too many, Illumi having hid in plain sight at the exams was surprisingly not the worst, having to fight her way in then back out of the Zoldyck estate was suicidal to say the least. But seeing Killua free and smiling hand in hand with Gon was worth the potential reveal of her true identity. She would need to change her appearance again wherever she went next. A hand gently tapped her shoulder, she gasped in surprise and turned to find Leorio shrinking back in apology. “Mathilda?” He wrapped his arms around himself, unable to figure out what to do with them. “Where are you going-” He watched as Mathilda readjusted her wig.

She had revealed who she really was to Killua after his rescue and encouraged him to keep fighting the control of his family. He motivated her into believing escape was possible, she would never Illumi now. Not when freedom was finally in her grasp. The others didn’t know. “What’s going on?” He asked softer.

The wig wouldn’t sit right and the placement only frustrated her more and more. The worried look in Leorio’s eyes only made her feel more vulnerable and weak. She let the loose wig fall to the floor, she had no more energy to mess with it. Truly she had no energy to have attached it in place in the first place. Bright Azure poofed out and caught Leorio by surprise, and as Mathilda sobbed, the coverup disguising her freckles began to wash away. “What?”

Mathilda sobbed into her hands further smudging the coverup away. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. If he catches me- if he finds that Killua has been with me this entire time-” Leorio took the moment to hold her close, and let her sob into his chest. From the front room, Kurapika stirred. “Let’s step into the study,” he whispered. He helped her move into the study where he closed the door behind them, allowing her to cry as much as she wanted. She explained everything to him, the engagement, the betrayal of her brother by giving her to the Zodyck family in trade for power, being on the run, nearly being discovered by Illumi at the exam. God what if she was discovered. She realized she had been holding onto Leorio tightly in close embrace. They had seated themselves on a couch and he had his arms around her. She push away from him and stood up. “I’m sorry Leorio, I can’t- I can’t let you get hurt because of my actions. He’d kill you, and then he’d kill everyone else but Killua. God, Killua, they would never let him be free if they found him traveling with me.” She sobbed harder, her lungs felt like they never caught enough air she breathed quicker and quicker til she felt her head go dizzy. Somehow she was on the couch again and Leorio was speaking to her with calm words. He did not touch her or get any closer than what was necessary. He knelt in front of her and directed her on what to do. “You’re safe Mathilda, he isn’t here,” his voice was so warm and relaxing. There was no fear in his voice, he did not fear the inevitable painful death Illumi would have planned for him. “You don’t know that, he could be anywhere!” “Killua or Kurapika would have sensed him by now, you’re safe Mathilda. And we’re going to continue to make sure you stay safe. We got Killua back, we did that, all of us. We are a family now. We won’t let you get hurt again. I promise you.” Something about him saying all of this felt right, like he couldn’t be wrong. When Leorio was serious he couldn’t be wrong or lying. The man was the worst liar. “Is there something I could do to help you right now to help you calm down?” Mathilda thought about it, she was so cold and alone as always. He would protect her but he might disappear, nothing stayed forever. “Sit next to me, don’t touch me, just stay.” She held herself and leant over her knees. Leorio did as she asked while clasping his hands over his legs. They sat like that in silence until her breathing slowed back to a regular pace and she sat back up. She continued to tell him what it was like living with Illumi and the Zoldycks, what it meant to be betrothed to an assassin against your will. How they cut her hair and changed her clothes to what they deemed appropriate, how she never had a word on what her future might be like. At one point she had tried to love him, tried to find a speck of how they could change. It only hurt her more. Leorio cleared his throat from something lodged in the back of his throat. Fear? Sorrow? He felt so sorry that his friend had to live in the conditions she did at such a young age, and there was no easy healing from the scars she received on her psyche. Without warning, Mathilda placed her head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything or move, he let her relax and float back into a tired calm. As much as he wanted to promise protection and a never altering world,he couldn’t. They were all hunters now, save for Killua, but they all had their growing to do. He had to go back to his studies, he was still studying for his medical exams. It was a boring life away from his friends, unfortunately he had promises to his past friend- wait. “Mathilda?” He called to her softly, her closed lids fluttering open just slightly. “Come back home with me,” he said mostly to the wall in front of him. He was too scared to face the rejection in her eyes before she had the chance to speak it. “What do you mean?” Her speech slurred from exhaustion. “Nothing adventurous or exciting happens with medical students, come with me and stay by my side while I study. I-I-I

mean d-do what you want-” he was losing confidence in his suggestion and already felt the overwhelming amount of selfishness he was asking of this poor girl. Mathilda sat up and stared at Leorio, Leorio forced himself to make eye contact with her. Her large bushy eyebrows, now that he look closer were bleached to blonde, furrowed in conflict. She continued to stare at him intensly, in her head she was confronting every argument of why that was the stupidest idea in the world, but part of her knew that rationally he was right. Leorio was always right. The part of her that argued to go with him also felt the need to cling onto this last bit of trust she had for the world. Did she trust Leorio? She sighed in frustration, “I can’t say no to you… and it’s just…” Her eyes softened as she continued to work out the shades of brown in his eyes, natural and earthly. They were the most common eyes of the human world. Something in her chest, near where her heart must be, hurt. “Its not fair.” She whispered. He chuckled, “you can say no, you don’t have to come with me. Please don’t feel like you don’ have a choice.” Mathilda chewed her lip, Leorio felt his breath catch in his throat, “no… you’re right. Med students are boring.” Aim, focus, shot fired right on target. But he couldn’t feel any pain, “I’ll probably be safest with you.” “Is that a yes?” He said with more excitement than he meant to reveal. She smiled, “yeah, it’s a yes. But we have to leave tomorrow, Leorio. Any longer and I can’t guarantee we’d be safe.” He nodded his and beamed his stupidly contagious smile, “tomorrow.” Her red eyes had changed to iridescent over the length of their conversation and he had just realized it now as they softened again, he could swear she was definitely a goddess and he should be humbled to be in her presence. “-old you?” “What?” he was so lost in the beauty of her eyes that he didn’t catch what she was saying. Her eyebrows furrowed a little again, “c-can I hug you?” “S-s-s-sure!” She didn’t really wait for him to finish his stuttering before she threw herself into an embrace with him. “Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder. He was safe.