#it doesnt matter if its seasonal depression. selfhate issues. autism. the utter mind breaking isolation im suffering from in erasmus
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so my brain rly is my biggest enemy huh
#is this venting? i guess?#its just#it doesnt matter if its seasonal depression. selfhate issues. autism. the utter mind breaking isolation im suffering from in erasmus#it feels like ive made the biggest mistake in my life when i went abroad. three months ago i had more than a dozen friends#now i only have the one#its soulcrushing#if only i could be an entirely different person... it would make life easier for me and so many others#personal#why are *so many things* just wrong with me? if i could... just drag out my brain and crush it#just get rid of this worthless source of problems#sigh. i had hoped i did the right thing by not going thru w the suicide when i attempted it#sometimes feels like that was the wrong choice too :(#adrian this isnt about you. something else happened this morning as well so please dont blame yourself abt this venting#twas just a double tap
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