#it doesnt let you post for 12 hours but you can get your account right away?

[sagethegremlin]

i feel like im going through the trenches in a foreign land trying to learn how fanfic.net works

[spinph69]

Idk how to make an a03 account lol i've tried but nothins workin, so im gonna post this here. This was mostly inspired by what master cornflake said, we need more gorey doom fanfics.

Also this is like the first time i've written Somethin and completed it in months so bare with me its not very good lol

TW: Gore, S-icide-?

Vega punched a demon through its stomach, pulling out what he could in one swoop before it fell on its back. Guts and maggots wriggling in his grasp before he dropped it and moved onto the next demon.

He heard a bang before an explosion from his right. "SLAYER-" he called, turning his body in that direction. He spoke calm but he couldnt tell if his voice was worrisome or disappointed, knowing the slayer it was probably his fault something exploded. The pipes behind him popped, some of the wall cracking before exploding. This was probably a result of the last explosion, and the arena was filled with gas and fog.

Vega walked around, trying to listen to groans of zombies or thrown fire balls by imps, pressing onto his helmets speaker button and calling out "Slayer? Where are you?" He let go, waiting for a response.

Soon enough a raspy, gurgled voice spoke "On the top floor, are all the fodder demons down there? I could really go for more ammo."

Vega nodded "i imagine the larger demons rest up top?"

"Mmhm"

Vega shook his head and sighed "i cant see a thing, even the automaps not workin. I'm headin there soon, we'll meet midway."

"Sounds like a plan."

They both were headin towards the stairs, the slayer soon being blinded by the fog, it was rising up.

He heard a familiar noise before looking down from the 3rd balcony, and he called from his helmet as he saw the beams "VEGA, TYRANT-"

Vega turned his body to see if he could find a light, spinning in circles before a blaster soldier ambushed him. Vega grabbed his arm and pulled it out before using it as a bat and wacking the demon unconscious. Soon more demons began circling him, and the slayer jumped down to help. They still Couldn't find one another but they continued to fight as the tyrant shot at anything.

Soon enough a rocket hit Vega, sending him off to the nearest wall and slamming into it. He fell onto all fours before the wall cracked, pipes shooting water and quickly pooling on the floor. The slayer heard it and ran right towards the noise, when he saw the beast tower over his friend.

The slayer pulled out a rocket launcher and balista, setting up both so he could easily switch when he ran out of ammo for the other. He shot the tyrant, trying to derive its attention but it wouldnt budge, he was trying to pick them off one by one, it'd be easier to go after one even if he doesnt survive. He was a child of the dark lord, and so he'd make father proud.

Vega stumbled his way back up, eyes widening as he saw the arm pointed straight in his direction. It felt closer than 5 feet away, freezing in fear as he had no where to dash through. He had the poor boy cornered before setting off his blasters, all 4 rockets slamming into him back to back.

After this the tyrant stumbled, its broken legs growing numb and meat falling off. The slayer jabbed his blade into the demons thick bone, it cracking and chipping like wood as he screamed in pain. He kept pushing it deeper, hitting the bone marrow and deeper blood vessels. He jammed it all the way through, before slicing it down enough to where the rest of the bone folded under pressure. The demon fell to its knees, high enough for the doom slayer to grab onto its horns, crawl onto his face and jab his 12 inch blade straight between the eyes. The vibration hitting through his core as the knife hit his rock hard skull. He did it again, enough for the blade to go through its skull and piercing its brain. Its eyes going blank as blood poured from its nose and wound.

The tyrant fell limp, landing in the water and splashing a wave of water it knocked the slayer down. The rest of the demons in that arena died off burning as their corpses transported back to hell.

The slayer got his balance again and pulled off his helmet as water seeped through, his suit wasnt built for the water.

The fog slowly began to clear up, especially where the water was, and he saw Vega laying limp in his own blood.

The slayer wanted to scream but he knew his already destroyed vocal cords would screw him up even more.

Face laying down in water, the slayer picked him up and laid him on his back. It became abundantly clear his suit was broken, and pieces of it stabbing right through him.

The slayer teared up as he shook vega "VEGA!!" He called before coughing.

Vegas eyes slowly opened but they were only a squint, vegas grip onto him was weak and he breathed heavily. Blood continued to pour from his body, mixing in with the water as his suits helmet fogged up. He didnt know what was worse, 'dying' in the slayers arms or seeing the slayer cry.

He pulled off his helmet and saw his bloody face, nose broken and blood pouring from it. "I'm gonna get you home soon"

Vega shook his head "no.. We're not done here yet"

"You cant take care of yourself alone"

"Which is why im not gonna"

The slayer cocked his head in confusion, Vega continuing with a static and broken voice "I'm gonna die here"

The light his chest bared was slowly fading, it was as bright as it would be when he would sleep. The slayer shook his head "n-" before he could continue Vega pushed his hand against his mouth "you listen to me, take the chip from my suit, bring it back home with you when you're done. We've done this before, i know you can do it again"

The slayer shook his head again and began signing with his hands, throat too scratched up especially when crying. "I can't lose you again, i can't keep losing you."

They both hated watching the other die, even if vegas physical form was just that, a form, and the chip could be transfirmed suit to suit. Even if the slayer had 'lives' an existing boost that would active whenever he was on the brink of death.

Vega pulled the pistol from his side, something the slayer had abandoned ever since hayden shot him back to hell. He put it to the roof of his mouth, it was better to go out this way then to continue bleeding out for what felt like hours.

The slayer looked away as the light flashed, plasma frying every circuit and melting into his core like a fire ball. He dropped him as vega began getting hot, shooting his core the way he did immediately led off to a miniature explosion and his head flying off into pieces. All that was left hanging on his neck was a broken jaw, a few teeth missing and his tongue burnt.

The slayer turned away and puked, it was a horrific sight to see, especially with your husband.

This was one of the hardest moments the slayers had to go through in a long time. His chest no longer heaving with heavy breaths, his light completely gone and body fell completely limp in the slayers grasp. This form had died, and it would take a while for them to make a new one.

But he did what vega requested, abandoned the body, and moved onto the next level.

[spidercrimes]

if it's not too much to write, how about All even numbers for the OC asks for either character of your choice! or both if you're feelin wild whatever works : ]

wheezes this took so long but im finally done holy shit

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Echo doesn’t have any official titles, and isn’t really planning on getting any, unless Champion of Sune counts?

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Echo has a very good relationship with her moms! To their knowledge, things were a bit tense after leaving Ivydome, but plenty of letters and visiting when they could helped with smoothing over their relationship. A good memory would be when her moms taught Echo how to bake! They can really only bake cupcakes and cookies but theyre like. Hella good ones. They dont really have any bad memories with/of their parents, since like. They will forcibly forget or repress anything that upsets them, as long as it only affected them. If the memory is something bad that affected others it will linger for however long Echo deems necessary(read: an extremely long time)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

They were there and graduated fantasy high school what more do you want from them jkdxxjndk.  They started working at the local sweets shop after school, so no higher level of education here! They like history a bit, but that’s about it tbh!

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Yes! Echo had a pet cat back at Ivydome with her moms, and before the campaign she didn’t really have the money to keep another, so they settled for feeding and playing with the stray cats in Summervale.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Hmmm, Echo doesn’t mind children?? but there’s only so long they can be around them before she gets overwhelmed. Children like them well enough since Echo is always up for playing songs or messing around with cantrips. Echo would be the fun parent/godparent/babysitter, but. Please dont make them look after children they dont want any.

12. What is their favourite food?

Give my child spicy noodles or give him death

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Their first cake made without supervision was. A disaster to put it lightly since someone was feeling ambitious.(it turned out like rubber and after that he was too flustered n frustrated to focus so everything else turned out badly too) So they dont bother with that anymore! Cake mistakes who i dont know her sdkjjkdbs. So half the time they pass by anything with some type of airy sponge cake they cringe lololol

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

She had a rock and shiny things collection back at Summervale! They’re mostly for decoration, although some with certain textures are used for stimming. Some rocks are kept on shelves, but most are stored in cool jars to save space

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Echo is a sucker for romance novels and fun, upbeat music! Idk if video games, films, or video games exist in-universe, but if they did, they’d like dramas and baking shows, rpgs, and more character focused games like nitw

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

They love music, and they’d like musicals too! They will grab their lute and play along if their favorite song came on, and if nobody was around then maybe they’d sing too. Maybe. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

tbh their go-to insult is calling someone a prick or a bastard, and it’s usually for whenever someone’s done something particularly scummy. Or if someone is just. The Absolute Worst. It’s a leftover habit from when they used to live in Ivydome, but Echo usually sticks to talking shit when the target is. Very far away/not in the area.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

They try and get around six hours, to varying success, and to their knowledge they dont snore! Echo loves soft things and would prefer to sleep on a soft mattress with So Many blankets and pillows and maybe a cuddle buddy

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Fun fact echo does a tounge blep when she’s happy!! They tend to do lil happy claps and bounce up and down in place when they’re really excited, but when it’s a more calm-type of happy he purrs loudly and smiles a lot more than usual! 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

He’s claustrophobic and is terrified of being alone again or having to leave people behind even when the situation calls for it. So like. He aint copin too well after the last session! They get very flustered and panicked and freeze when theyre scared

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Does going on champion quests and running from his problems count as exercise or???

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Crop tops with long sleeves, shorts, and boots make up most of their wardrobe and they love it. Theyd go to like the fantasy equivalent of marshalls i think? Somewhere with good deals and a lot of options. Overlarge shirts, tank top crop tops, and more shorts make up their pjs. They dont really wear makeup, mostly bc they touch their face a lot and it feels weird the whole time, but they wouldnt be opposed to wear a lil bit every now and then! Their hair is floofy and a bit of a controlled mess since they cut it themselves

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Echo is 5���9”/ 175.26 cm! Theyre on the average side i think? Like theyre not super skinny but not fat either so just. Avergae. And yeah, Echo likes their body, theyre so bright! And their horns are so cute and having a tail is very handy and claw maintenance can be a bit of a pain but like. Aesthetic am i right folks

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Hes good at playing the lute and generally being very cute and giving out good vibes, and he likes baking and playing music! They can sing, but really only do that when theyre playing their lute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Echo admires passion and creativity the most, and dont let anyone from the party know but he wishes he could be just. A bit smarter and know what to say + ask. Theyd also really like to be able to make a decent genoise sponge too like theyre not picky

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Theyre a tea drinker all the way, and arent the biggest fan of sweet things. He used to use more tart or mellow flavors when baking. They def arent alert after being tired for a while, and will space out a bit

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

No secret ambitions here, Echo is an open book(unless they roll high on deception dvdjxb)! Becoming Sune’s champion, making a decent sponge cake, and protecting his friends with his life/in any way they can are all their current goals. Echo doesn’t care too much if they get hurt, so physical well-being and maybe mental are things they wouldn't mind sacrificing, but as a whole they don’t really want to think about what they’d have to give up. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it. 

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

If its cold, wet, or humid echo is not a happy camper lol. They prefer summer and the beginning of fall the most, and sunny days with lots of puffy white clouds are the best! They think its fun watching the clouds shadows on the ground. They’re better in hot weather than cold, since clothes for that type of weather are easier to dress for and they dont have to account for their tail or horns as much

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

God i hope they make a good first impression im dying over here xjkxdk but honestly it depends! They try to make a good first impression and i think they usually do? But if theyve just finished with a job w the gang or theyre just. So tired they wont really introduce themselves at all.  Its pretty accurate of how they are, and their go-to greeting is “I’m Echo Barquiel, a pleasure to meet you dearie~” 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

In theory they’d like parties but being around so many people with that much noise for an unknown amount of time would not be. Ideal so smaller get-togethers with friends would be the most enjoyable! Echo doesnt really have the uh, space to host anything so theyd just turn up to other’s parties. Theyd be in a constant state of switching between ‘holy shit im so gay’ and ‘oh my god theres so many people/internal screaming’. If they were dragged to a party, theyd mingle for a leelte bit before stepping out

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

A bedroll, waterskin, food supplies, rope, knives, a lute, matches, money- yknow regular survival stuff!

[inixsis]

5 years later

Coming back and reading the few posts I had was a bit of a shocker, for many reasons. But im in a position where I really need to express myself again because I dont really have anyone else or any other way. So let the shitshow begin! I dont really know where to begin. I feel like ive grown a lot in some aspects, stayed the same in so many others. Ive definitely stayed the same when it comes to complaining unfortunately... Im well aware i do it, but its like word votmit. I dont string together what im trying to convey in the right way most of the time. Sometimes I swear people have this expectation of me that they put the words in my mouth before i can even finish a sentence. Like please, just let me finish.   Anyway. Point blank, ive been an Alcoholic for about 5-7 years now. I dont really remember when it trulyyyy kicked in that i had such a dependency. But its only within the past year that if i dont get my fix, I go into a withdrawal state of shakes, tremors and sweats. i went to hospital about a year ago, so I didnt have a drink for around 12 hours. I was barely able to move. I was shaking so badly I could barely move my muscles or complete basic motor functions. Some mornings after only a few hours without alcohol i can barely type on my keyboard or use my mouse correctly.  But with all of this, im still proud at other ways ive progressed. Ive quit marijuana. Ive mostly quit smoking. Ive only had green once in the past 2 years. I didnt have a single cigarette for almost 8 months up until recently and i only buy a pack once in a while. Along with that, I feel like my attitude and the way i address certain things has drastically changed also. Im not nearly as aggressive, paranoid or annoying as I used to be. But its never enough... Essentially im here to cry about how alcoholism has somewhat impacted my relationship, but how it also isnt the main reason its over. Its hard to explain right now heh. All i truely want to do is blame him and my perspectives of why he has started to act like this. Nothing is good enough lately. I can shower him with love, affection, appreiciation and all the space he needs but its not enough. I really dont feel my alcoholism can be the complete blame of our relationship - but definitely some things are to do with it.  1. He knew what he was getting into.  And on that note, over 5 years ive done nothing but get better. Especially the past 2 years ive made huge changes whilst he has not. Alcoholism cant be compared to the mistakes he makes, but as a 29 year old he has never left his home, he doesnt pay rent or bills, he has a cushy life where his mother stole 1.2 million and is now in prison for it. But he thinks I would steal money from his account given the chance... 2. I paid for everything for the first 3 years He stayed in my homes non stop, i paid electricity for his pc or to run the aircon, i paid for and cooked 3 meals a day everyday for atleast a few days of every week. I cleaned up after him everytime. in 5 years he has cooked for me once, and by force. He has done dishes for me and bought me takeaway, dont get me wrong. but nothing compared to what ive spent. let alone the green and alcohol he would also consume. But granted he paid alot of fuel whilst i rarely topped him up.  3. Extreme patience with his privacy Theres a certain factor im not going to speak about in this. But ive always been quite upfront with him, never protected my phone or computer around him either. I understood a person needs their space and if he is not willing then thats ok - but only to a point. at 5 years we should be able to share phones. Once i wasnt allowed to hold it to use his flashlight during a power out. thats insane. I went to reddit over this and there were suggestions such as ‘are you clumsy?’ and well... no. he has swerved his car once when i went for his phone to search a location.  4. Games come first Its been a rocky 2 years. Ive asked him to spend more time with me regularly, threatened if he did not take 1 less night a week from raiding im done - and i left. But then his mothers case of theft came in and he was distraight, said he needed me. I couldnt help but give in, so gave him another chance for the sake of moral support. I also very recently came across a chat with some chick online. ‘I guess i havent found my gamer girl yet’ he said.  - i am younger, but have been gaming much longer than him and on different platforms - I am the one he had to compete with in WoW - I am the one who taught him many things and showed him all these things about the game - I take a couple years off of certain games because of my anger and suddenly i am no longer a gamer, let alone his girl. Made me sick to the stomach.  All ive done is change myself to look towards our future and this is all the shit I get. So heres to the men in my history that may read this - karma came the FUCK back around and truly i hope youre doing well.  I think im going to keep on posting again, I need some form of comfort. id like to ultimately turn this into a blog about alcoholism, sobriety and all the things that come with this. I need something to focus on for a bit haha. Best wishes all <3 

[buzzedbabe]

@thewolfdragon @richard-madden @maddennfl86 @thenorthremembersalways @thefashionprofessor @robbstarkmademedoit @what-would-wonderwoman-do

story below for those that can’t read it

How much time are you spending thinking about Bodyguard? A lot, I bet. The new BBC thriller, about the relationship between an ambitious and unknowable home secretary and her PTSD-addled protection officer, was written by Jed Mercurio of Line of Duty fame, and was cynically and artfully designed to hook, obsess and fixate an audience into appointment viewing.

Bodyguard is made to steal us away from all newly acquired suit-yourself, binge-watch and content-stream habits, with charismatic heroes who might actually be despicable antiheroes and a succession of frenzied plot twists that simply must be consumed on the night lest someone catch you out with a spoiler on social media. Even if that doesn’t happen, even if your viewing isn’t partly ruined by a stray Facebook comment, watch an episode even a little late and find yourself locked out of all the best conversations, the most detailed post mortems, most frenetic speculations. Bodyguard is, in essence, a middle-aged Love Island, a reason to gather excitedly round the screen at the prescribed hour in a way that hasn’t really happened since the late Nineties.

Bloody hell, it’s good, I tell its star Richard Madden. The 32-year-old Glaswegian actor made his name as Robb Stark in Game of Thrones and consolidated it as Prince Charming in 2015’s Kenneth Branagh-directed Cinderella. Now, after playing Mellors in Mercurio’s 2015 Lady Chatterley’s Lover for the BBC, he trembles on the verge of Poldarking himself into borderline indecent, heavily fetishised glory as Bodyguard’s David Budd, the protection officer at the heart of the story.

“Oh, right,” he says. His accent is broad, non-posh Scottish; unexpected to those who remember it as generically Yorkshire in Game of Thrones. His eyes are intense. He’s arch and funny; he’d probably qualify as dangerously charming if there weren’t also something watchful and cautious about him. “Thanks very much! I enjoyed playing something a bit more adult, less boyish. I’m keen to play more grown-up roles, without actually growing up myself. Pretending to be adult. I’m done playing princes. Princes and royalty and lords. Also, it’s nice not to do an accent.” David Budd is – conveniently – Scottish. “One less thing to think about. Shall we get a drink? It is a Tuesday night, after all.”

It’s a Monday, I point out, but all the same we order a beer and wine from the front desk of the photographic studio in which we sit.

This is not the first time Madden and I have met. Three years ago, he bowled up to me at a friend’s party and demanded to know why I hadn’t featured him in Grazia magazine’s Chart of Lust recently. A placing in the list (which I compile weekly, and does exactly as its title suggests – rates the most fanciable people of that moment’s news), is deeply coveted among those who present themselves as above that kind of vanity, but definitely aren’t. Newscasters, Hollywood A-listers, national treasures, disruptive artists (Grayson Perry once told me he’d pinned his mention up on the wall in his studio), award-winning novelists … I’ve been lobbied by spads chasing mentions for their political charges on more than one occasion. But this was the first time a candidate had ever approached me in the flesh. I was both impressed and amused by his front.

“It does my frail ego good,” he’d elaborated, which, I’d thought, demonstrated a surprising amount of self-awareness in a young actor.

I remind him of our first meeting.

“Oh, God. Great start,” he says. Then, “I’m just trying to work my way up [the chart].”

Well, let’s see how this goes, shall we.

One of the reasons I think Bodyguard resonates so hard with its viewers is that it’s dealing with themes of safety – and so are we all. Terrorist attacks, suicide bombers and rooftop snipers recur from episode to episode; our current nightmares, and most catastrophising daytime fantasies, the ones that flicker through our minds every time we board a plane, go to a concert venue or swipe into a subway system, are played out in high definition on our small screens. Madden’s David Budd thwarts and buffers and foresees and repels; a hero with a fantastically of-the-moment brief. If Poldark is our ultimate historical TV pin-up – manly, tortured, good with his shirt off – then Budd is our ultimate Threat Level: Severe pin-up – manly, tortured, good in a bulletproof vest (“An actual bulletproof vest,” he’ll tell me, “which is so comfortable, for five months”).

I run this theory past Madden. How nervy is he in London right now?

“I don’t feel unsafe. I used to be more panicky, but I’m just less uptight. A few years ago, I’d get off at Tube stations because I’d have a sense of something.”

How much of David Budd’s wariness did Madden inherit through the course of filming?

“You get to a point where you clock everything. That’s what I’m doing for 12 hours a day, so …”

Walk into a room, scope it out for the nearest exit?

“I did that anyway. My dad’s a fireman, so that’s built in. Check into a hotel, first thing I do, find the fire exit.”

Richard Madden was born just outside of Glasgow, an only boy among older and younger sisters. His mother, Pat, is a classroom assistant. There were no other performers in his close family – no pub-singer uncles, no sisters at dance school.

You’re, like, a rogue luvvie.

“Yup!” he says.

How does that happen?

“I don’t know. I was fat. And shy. Crushingly shy, going to what was a fairly tough high school. Aggressive. Masculine. So I thought the best thing to do would be to go and be an actor. Ha ha! Not go and play football. Or get good at boxing. I’ll go and be an actor. They’ll love that.”

Aged 11, Madden joined Paisley Art Centre’s youth theatre programme. “And of course, they did not love that. But then I managed to dodge a couple of years of school, because …”

Because he was good enough to be cast, as a young teenager, in professional roles: in the film adaptation of Iain Banks’ Complicity, and in a kids’ TV show called Barmy Aunt Boomerang.

“So I was like, ‘I’m going to be acting, and not go to school.’ And get paid.”

Did you realise you were good? “I don’t think you ever feel good at it.”

He gave up acting in his mid-teens – “Life got a bit shit, when you’re on telly, among your peers, and you’re 14 years old”. He returned to it when he was 17, “because you have a bunch of teachers going, ‘Right, now you must decide what to do with the rest of your life,’ and 17 is of course the best time to choose.”

In 2004, he began studying at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama. “I wasn’t allowed to apply for drama school unless I applied for a ‘real’ course as well, which was computing science. I didn’t even know what it was. Had no interest. And then, luckily, the day before my first exams, I received a letter saying you’ve got into drama school, so I went to my exams and just wrote my name.”

At 22, barely out of the RSAMD, he was cast as Robb Stark in HBO’s epic, fantastically successful Game of Thrones. Stark is the noble, brave, integrity-hampered son of Sean Bean’s Ned Stark; a character with a genuine and credible claim on the kingdom’s iron throne, all of which condemned him to a phenomenally gruesome death in an episode entitled The Rains of Castamere, only fans of the show (among whom I count myself, unashamedly) call it “The Red Wedding”, on account of the blood-drenched ceremony during which Madden, his pregnant wife and his mother all die.

Madden says he thinks that early, formative brush with a TV career was both “a head-f***” and, “I was so thankful for it, because, going into the world of Game of Thrones, I’d already learnt so much from doing it as a kid, of feeling isolated, or getting arrogant because you’re on a TV show. I’d kind of done all that. I could deal with it a lot better.”

A lot better than whom, among your co-stars?

He cackles. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Yes! Can I guess? “No.”

Madden went into Game of Thrones knowing he would die within three series – the books on which the shows are based spelled out Robb Stark’s demise long before Madden was cast – which he thinks is a good thing, professionally speaking. “I didn’t just want to be known as that guy from Game of Thrones.” It also meant that his celebrity has, until this point at least, been tinged with pity, partly for the grotesque manner of his fictional death, partly because he was booted out of that juggernaut of a TV sensation early.

That might be about to change with Bodyguard. I am reasonably confident Madden’s fame is about to be tinged with something rather more lecherous. David Budd is in no sense a straightforward romantic hero – physically and emotionally scarred, with an undivorced wife and kids squirrelled away in a safe house – but heavens, he does brooding intensity well. His love affair with Keeley Hawes’ home secretary, Julia Montague, is as intensely sexy as it is quietly subversive, for making no reference to Hawes’ Montague being ten years older than Madden’s Budd. The whole thing is designed to charm the pants off us, and I wonder how prepared Madden is to receive the unbridled lust of thousands of women on social media.

If Twitter erupts with lechery …

“I won’t look.”

Why?

“Because if I do, and if I believe someone going, ‘Oh God, he’s hot,’ then I’ll also have to believe the person that goes, ‘He’s got pumpkin teeth.’ Do you know what I mean?”

Yes, but, you are widely considered handsome, so …

“I don’t see it.”

Truly not?

“Truly not.”

It is form for beautiful young actors to deny their looks, in the interest of seeming more humble and likeable than they really are, but I think, in Madden’s case, he could mean it. He tells me fame has made him feel less attractive, not more. “You chat to a girl at a bar, have a couple of drinks, and shy Richard is slowly going. This is going well. And then it’s, ‘My boyfriend’s a really big fan. Can I get a picture?’ And you go, ‘F***.’ You think they think you’re hot, but it’s because you’re on telly.”

I ask Madden if he thinks he’s irredeemably defined by the chubby, shy child he used to be.

“I feel like I should lie down on that sofa and give you a hundred quid.”

Were you really so scarringly fat?

“Thirty-eight inch waist when I was 12. I didn’t wear denim until I was 19, because denim is really hard to take up. My mum couldn’t take my jeans up.”

Would you say you have body issues?

“Absolutely, yeah.”

Despite all of which, Richard Madden does OK with women. When I originally met him, he’d been in the final stages of a long-term relationship with the actor Jenna Coleman, who stars as Victoria in the ITV show, and who is now in a relationship with her onscreen Albert, Tom Hughes. Since then, Madden has been gossip-column-linked to a succession of beautiful women – model Suki Waterhouse and TV presenter Laura Whitmore among them – none of whom seem notably put off by his pumpkin teeth.

“I think in the last year I was, as far as the tabloids went, dating seven different people. And when you receive a text saying, ‘Are you sleeping with blah blah,’ and you go, ‘No,’ that’s a bit weird.”

Who are you sleeping with?

“I’m not saying.”

But you are sleeping with someone?

“I am sleeping with someone. I am very happy with someone. There are pictures of it on the internet.”

If it’s the one everyone thinks you’re dating, I say – by which I mean the 21-year-old Ellie Bamber, with whom he was pictured most recently at the Serpentine Gallery summer party – then she’s another actor. Is it really a good idea to go out with other actors?

“Yes and no. Yes, because you understand what each other’s going through. No, because, there’s a certain level of self-focus you need, in order to do the job you’re doing. That’s hard on all relationships, because what am I going to talk to you about? I walk up and down for 12 hours a day, dealing with this character’s shit. That’s all I’ve done, every day, for the past three months … I really haven’t got anything to offer you as a friend.”

We return, briefly, to Bodyguard. He says he got on brilliantly with Keeley Hawes. “Love her, love her to pieces. She saved my arse, because it’s not a fun job. It’s not a comedy. But then Keeley and me, me and her, off screen, were just like two kids.”

Were you paid the same?

“No idea. I imagine she earned more. I care less about how much other people are paid, and more what it takes for me to shut up and go and do my job. The equality thing needs to be addressed hugely between male and female co-stars; I know that from friends of mine. But there’s only so much I can do for myself. Agents and lawyers, they do all that stuff. I just kind of deal with what I need to, so I don’t look a producer in the eye and f***ing hate them when they’re talking about their villas, and you’re thinking, shit, I’m getting the bus at the weekend, because I don’t have the money for a cab, you know?”

How rich are you?

“Not very. People think I am, because of Game of Thrones, but you know, when I signed up for that I was 22, with f*** all on my CV, so I was paid f*** all.”

Then, somehow, we end up talking about his body again.

“In between filming, I eat pizza, drink, don’t work out, get fat, then it’s six weeks till you have to be naked again. It’s always six weeks. Actually, that’s if you’re lucky. I have ten days till I take my clothes off again this time.”

What’s the occasion?

“I’m filming Rocketman, the Elton John film, and I play John Reid, his first boyfriend, his manager for 28 years.”

A straight man in a gay role; casting that has become contentious after Disney named comedian Jack Whitehall, who is straight, as the voice of its first openly gay hero.

“Yeah, and Taron Egerton [who is playing Elton John] is a straight man in a gay role,” says Madden, “and I think we’re all f***ed if we start going down the route of you can only play a gay part if you’re a gay actor. Diversity, equality and pay – of course we need to make sure of all that, but at the same time … I read reports that so and so’s pulled out of this role because they’re not transgender, and you go, yeah, but they’re a f***ing actor, and they’re probably really f***ing good in the part, and maybe that is part of the reason why that film’s getting made …”

We wind up with him telling me he isn’t bothered about an Oscar. “Because, who won best actress last year? Best actor? Best supporting actor? What won best musical?”

No idea.

“So what does it matter?” he says.

After which, he is beautifully mocking (off the record) about a very famous actor’s latest endeavour, before hugging me goodbye and pretending – well – he hopes to see me again soon, socially. Richard Madden made it to No 2 in the current issue of Grazia’s Chart of Lust Bodyguard continues tomorrow at 9pm on BBC One. Episodes 1 and 2 are on BBC iPlayer

[asplashofvodka]

B.A.P. Party Baby NYC 2017 Fan Account

So it’s like 80 years late buuuuutttttttt I figured I might as well write down this fan account to continue with the tradition. I’m going to put concert, hi touch, and photo together into one. Gifs and photos included, pray for your internet.

Alright, so I came into the city late the night before the concert and met my 2 friends for a relaxing night. Sadly I had to work that day so I missed some of the earlier fun. We stayed near Grand Central for a change this year. We hung out in the lounge of the hotel for a while and just joked around most of the night, a much needed precursor from what was gonna be the day from hell.

So while we enjoyed our night for bit we actually had two of our friends lining up before us that we were planning to join a little after midnight. When we were just about to leave she actually called us and told us that security had made them all leave because it was too cold and they didn’t want anyone getting hurt or anything. It was nice because it was FREEZING that night, and if you’ve never been to Terminal 5 it’s right near an underpass and next to the water, not the best combo for camping out. 

SOOOOOO onto show day!!!!

We lined up around 6 a.m. … we gave our friends a break since they stayed out. Steph, Megan and myself were nice enough to bring hot packs for majority of the line cause everyone looked like a popsicle. After the line was split up we actually got lucky enough to be interviewed for the Fomo Daily video, thank god a lot of the awkward stuff got cut out. <_< 12+hours in line wasn’t so bad for the simple fact all of our friends were in line with us.

So fast forward to concert time.

Our view.

Real life right here. I’ve never been this close for a concert of a group I hardcore stan. So although we were in the corner of the stage we had… an eventful, let’s say, evening.

I have to give props to the DJ B.Shoo cause he just had to go and pull out songs we weren’t expecting. I honestly can’t even remember what the song was but all of the people in my section were LIT. There was actually a staff… possibly manager standing there and he started to record the crowd. Where that video went, the world may never know. So he leaves after he records and then another Korean staff member shows up and stays by the curtain we’re in front of. Normal enough… or so we thought. 

The DJ’s set ends and the intro video starts playing. Cue all the craziness and excitement. While everyone is going insane over the video, my friend Megan and I both notice people appearing one by one behind this curtain and we start to lose our shit. Honestly, it was like, “Oh, I think I see someone behind there… oh look two more… SHIT THERE’S 5 OF THEM…6 NOW!” All while this staff member is laughing at us. 

First song was the Hurricane Remix. I’m not a huge EDM/House person so I can go along and tolerate it. Lol 

Next was BADMAN. BITCH YES. JUST YESSSSS. This remix is still hands down my favorite. I was hoping they were all gonna hit the choreography flawlessly like last time but alas Himchan. First he was too early and then completely forgot what the hell he was doing and actually slipped off stage while laughing at himself. LMFAO Jongup and Zelo still killed that choreo IDGAF!

After that was No Mercy and BANGX2. I honestly couldn’t even tell you what happened during this cause I was too hype. The only thing I remember was the long ass staring contest Daehyun and I had for NO DAMN REASON. NONE WHATS SO EVER and none of my friends noticed it, but it is in photo.

I’VE BEEN WAITING MONTHS TO HEAR FINALLY HEAR THAT’S MY JAM AND DO WHAT I FEEL LIVE. I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED AT ALL. I FUCKING LOVE THESE SONGS. I was ready for it, my friends were ready for it but the staff member was surprised as hell at our enthusiasm. He was thoroughly amused by us.

Dancing in the Rain is always a cute song, you can’t hate it.

The dress code pick happened next. That was an interesting 5 minutes. So, Himchan is my bias, not secrets there. I was dressed for a Himchan pick is all I’m gonna say. My friends thought it would be hilarious to SCREAM AND SHOUT for him to pick me… from not only next to me but also in other spots down the front where others were standing. -_- Guys,pls. At one point they screaming so loud and pointing at me that not only was the staff member DYING AT MY SUFFERING but Youngjae and Daehyun started to look over to our area and I had to duck and hide behind people. Let’s not ever… nah no. It was a cute little segment though, I totally would’ve spilled my drink on Himchan too if I would’ve been that close too. Them feels are seriousssss.

NEXT WERE THE SOLOS AND BITCHHHHHHHHHHH…. WHEW LAWD.

I believe it was Jongup, Zelo, Youngja in terms of order but my feels were attacked so I can’t be sure. 

JONGUP. MOON. FUCKING. JONGUP. HE DID NOT COME TO PLAY WITH THE HATERS, BAND WAGONERS, AND DENIERS OF FEELS. TRY MY LUCK THERE’S NOTHING I CAN SAY ABOUT THIS THAT DOESNT INCLUDE AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF SWEARING. Just know you guys got the tame and PG shit for TV promotions. FUCK IT UP, MOON JONGUP FOR LIFE. 

Zelo decided that the year 2017 he would return to his sweet and innocent appearance after fucking the floor last year. Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. The song is actually really cute though and I need the recorded version, get on that TS.

YOUNGJAE. 

YOO.

YOUNGJAE.

I have this deep deeeeppppppp LOVE HATE with Youngjae (mainly love but still) he didn’t have to come for life this way. I didn’t need it, didn’t want it, I just wanted to live peacefully that day. His solo…. I literally found the corner of the banister, rested against it, covered my mouth in amazement and didn’t move for the duration of his solo. He didn’t have to remind me why he’s bias 1.5 like that. Jesus. Also I need that studio version too.

Fermata, I Guess I Need U, and Body and Soul… Im not even gonna try and explain the level of I CANNOT reached.

Skydive, Young Wild and Free and Wake Me Up in a row… OT6 FOR LIFE. FUCK ME UP. They killed it and us.

Now for Wake Me Up apparently we did a little much. As if we didn’t go hard enough for the other two songs, us continuously doing the choreography got us recorded during Wake Me Up… by the staff… who also turned out to be one of their managers. At first he tried to sneakily record us but I caught him and laughed and he stopped. Then he did it again and didn’t care that we saw him. Which he then scurried to the backstage area as soon as that song was over. Yeah….

So after that Zelo came back out and take us the hormone increasing dance (2014 concert goers should remember that one). No one knew what the fuck they were doing it was hilarious.Check on starts playing and all of sudden my friends and I start to notice that BAP is gradually looking more and more to our corner, which for the most part went kinda unnoticed for the other half of the show. Now I’m not gonna say they saw it, but I can say for a fact that manager posted it on his instagram that same night. (which also took me a whole week to find ) But the next bunch of songs were the fun ones Spy, Feel So Good, Be Happy and Carnival.

They did their usual goodbye talk before performing B.A.B.Y *thug tear* That was supposed to be the end, but it wouldn’t be a BAP concert without an encore. They did BANGX2 again. 

Now it’s time for the Hi-Touch and photo op shenanigans. 

They had everyone with Hi-touch go first, they turned it into a whole damn exercise circuit. Just what everyone wanted to do, climb 3 floors, come down and go back up. But anyway…  So the panic was real guys. So the order I can remember was Youngjae, Zelo, Daehyun, Jongup, Yongguk and Himchan. Literally my death in the beginning and end.

So before we get to go up to the guys the staff is doing their annoying “phones away,” “don’t give them presents,” “hurry up” speeches. I roll my eyes and continue walking to the guys. 

Youngjae is first. Lord jesus I wasn’t mentally prepared, but my makeup was still in tact. *bless you Laura Mercier powder* He is the only dude I know that is ALWAYS ready before the damn fan that’s meeting him. He was already eyeing me before I got up to him. His usual smirk followed by a cute smile after I hi fived him.

I was actually proud of myself this hi touch cause I was able to look at and actually hi five everyone this time while still mentally dying.

Next was Zelo… he’s tall as shit… why? Anyway he smiled and I high fived him and went on to the next one.

JUNG. DAEHYUN. What’s your deal, bro?! So I get to Dae, I was prepared this year to feel close as fuck to him as always. Apparently he was not and made it obvious… VERY OBVIOUS. So I get to him and look him dead in his eyes and this boy legit goes O_O and looked shocked as al holy hell. I actually tilted my head a little and giggled at him and he kinda recollected for a second, but I felt victorious for once. 

Megan 1- BAP - 3 Years

Anyway… onto Rude Boy Jongup. So he was right after Dae and ISTG I don’t know what was going on that night but he too felt the need to look at me with a squint but from under his fringe so I was confused.

Next was Gukkie! He’s so cute and friendly at hi touches. He looked so good though, thank goodness I’m not a Guk stan. That’s like instant death.

So last but not least, Kim Himchan.

One question, just one. WHATTHEACTUALFUCKHIMCHANWHYTHEFUCK?!

We’re going to take a little mental journey to understand this. So Himchan is last but he’s not behind the table like everyone else. He’s actually at the outside corner, so if you’re walking towards him you can see him straight on not an angle. 

Ok so as I’m done hi fiving Yongguk, I turn so I can face Himchan, normal course of action right now. Would’ve been a quick go through had when I turned his hand be ready for a hi five and he would’ve been looking at my face.

Till this day this part gets me all flustered and gets my nerves going. *deep breathing*

So I turn slightly to see Himchan checking me out in the most shameless way. This man is a greaseball and I KNOW THIS. BUT NOTHING. NOTHINGGGG COULD’VE  PREPARED ME. So he’s checking me out, at least from hip/thigh area and slowly pans up to my face and then proceeds to bite his lips and smirk at me and then put his hand up for a hi five.

We’re gonna have seat for a minute cause LORD HAVE MERCY IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME AT THAT MOMENT TO CONTAIN EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING.

For reference Himchan’s face was basically this Xuimin gif. 

Like… how does one act normal in this situation. Well if you’re me, you try to give off the most controlled shocked face and act dead inside so you don’t get arrested.

For reference

 Me:

So I high five him and proceed to high tail it the entire fuck outta there as quickly as possible. I made it to the hallway where I then had my breakdown, still couldn’t speak and explain anything then though. 

If you had photo op they made you go allll the way back up stairs and pick your groups. Two of my friends are Zelo bias so they weren’t even gonna attempt to take a pic with each other. lmfao So we found this other group of girls and I deadass went and asked any of them if they were Himchan bias and luckily no one was. Then this staff comes over and is like “Who wants to be line leader?” I was like fuck it i’ll do it. I get to be the first person to pick a spot duh! So I tell my friends to line up behind me so they can get to their biases before the other girls and they do. So we get downstairs and we’re dying all over again cause now we’re the first people they see in the line and as soon as the group thats with them leaves, Youngjae and some of them look over at us. Great,

I look Youngjae in face again, smile and casually walked and stood in between him and Himchan. My other friends got lucky and all got to stand with their bias too. *YAAASSSS* Now, I had made it a mental note to stand a little bit away from them cause I have a butt and didn’t want to bump into one of them. All I would need to haunt me forever. Despite all my attempts, I did end up bumping into someone… I don’t even wanna know who cause I’m traumatized enough from that day, lol But a girl was rushing to kneel in front of me and I scooted back just a tad and bam… leg or something. I’ve never readjusted so fast in my life. The picture was taken and I took off in a diagonal for the gift table cause we left our stuff over there. (One of the staff was not happy about it but we didn’t care) There was amusing shit that happened on the other side with my friends Daph and Megan but I can’t even begin to get that story correct. All I know is Daphne booked it for the table while I was waiting for her and had BAP in hysterics. 

Then as we were leaving we told the manager we would see him next year and ran out of there as fast as possible.

Also here’s Himchan’s face in our photo… which I conveniently compared it to the FSG face for you.

If you find the full i’m the one in the red. 

‘twas a hell of a night.

Fin. 

[flameontheotherside]

Erik's Regret

Between '07 and '10 my life was turbulent. Multiple breakups with pieces of shit. I attracted fucked up dudes and I had this idea that they needed love too so I thought by loving them I'm also helping myself because I was fucked up too. Many long-distance because I felt it was "safer". I didn't have to be available 24/7, there was more freedom, I was never one to be affectionate, and it was just overall easier....WRONG!

Most meaningful relationships to me were just 2.

Brendan was from California and had a slew of mental health issues. We bonded from the issues we both had. They were different but how we felt was the same. I would stay up late just to talk. Most of the time it was me listening to him and consoling him. We would end up crying together when we shared our war stories and feelings. I didn't feel so alone and it was hard being with him the most because I really saw a future with him but he was kind of avoidant. When things were good I wouldn't see him online and I couldn't call him because his parents would take away his cell and it was just a mess. Also, he had a female fanbase on DeviantArt so when it was public, I had a few hate mails from random chicks who threatened to kill themselves if I didn't stop talking to him. It put a strain. We were friends on and off and we stopped talking in '12. Since then it was just a few emails. Until he basically told me to go fuck myself out of nowhere last year. It still hurts because I still love him and worry about him. My biggest fear since '12 is he kills himself and I was never able to help him but I guess he's okay without me. That really hurts.

David was more of a physical handicap *sigh* and he was from.....Texas. 😑 We met online while I was still in high-school. Of course at the time I had no idea he was just using me (like John) for the fact I was this gullible geeky high-school girl who watched anime and read comic books. 🙄 I just never fucking learn. Of course not. I'm just asking for trouble. So this asshole had me fooled and got me good. At least he had the decency to apologize for what he did. He visited me right before 12th grade and stopped returning my calls shortly after. No one had the decency (Not even my mother!) to tell me... Ummm, somethin' ain't right here. I find out new years eve at a party via AIM on a friend's computer he said he just got married and adopted a kid.... 😭 For some reason I remained "friends" with him and even to this day occasionally chat. He also plays World Of Warcraft so I've done a few raids/dungeons. He's really let himself go these days. 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Erik says we would have met if he hadn't killed himself.

I like to think if we did, just like in our previous lives, he would be like everyone else. I can see him being avoidant kind of like Brendan. Yeah something like that. He would be freaked out by someone like me who is accepting and shit 🙄. Then kind of poof on me. I just have that effect on people. If only I can poof on myself. 🙋‍♀️By bitch, see you next fall... Something like that. That's what helps me sleep at night.

Avoided the whole topic because I hate getting emotional and I hate crying. Nothing is worse. Feeling volnerable. I don't really get my feeling hurt but when I do it's 99.9 WTFM (percent) of the time because of a douchebag. Bullying is at tough one because it depends on a lot. Guys who bully me hurt a lot more than a female. Well let's face it females hate each other so... I assume most of the time the bitch is either on the rag, broke a nail or some guy finally wised up and dumped thier raggety ass (like me, welcome to the club). I had gone through it so much that since high school I don't cry or feel too butt hurt. I just have a smart comeback or roll my eyes. 😂 👌🏼 I developed a smart ass atitude since then that even gets me in trouble with "superiors". A manager harassed me (micromanagement and he was trying to show off how much a douche he is) one day and I told him off. Said something like he needed to back the off me and his little tactic wasn't working. I was sent home for sticking up for myself. Which was a blessing because the swat team came through to shutdown the company and everyone was "interviewed." long story....

Then confronting the turbulence in my life surrounding his death.

That's the worst part. I found a bunch of videos I posted on my first YouTube account. They were hard to watch. Especially the two about my wanting to die. In one of them I described how to "effectively" kill yourself and one dude said I should put a bullet in my head. That was awesome. Then the other I was kind of crying over a guy who messed with me (David and John) and he hurt my feelings by spreading rumors. I actually don't remember what exactly happened. If it was one or two people harassing me, I can deal with it, but it was so bad I had nowhere to go. School and the mall where absolute hell. For what? Over a little misunderstanding. Not getting emotional wasn't going to happen. That whole incident was the worst. Bad breakups, my mom having cancer and bullying happened all at once. I was falling apart. Since then nothings hit me as hard. If I could live through that, pretty everything else is 🍬 candy. What doesnt kill you make you stronger. Very true. 😒 Meh...

Yes I was (at times still am) pissed the fuck off that he killed himself. I had this goal since I was 11...well actually I was 7 but I needed to find "him" and was very specific in knowing he had a lot of issues like me. It wasn't the usual 💞😍💞. oh I'm looking for my soulmate bullshit. It was that I knew he wasn't local although a few times thought so I guess hoping I was wrong. Majority of the time I knew I had to start looking online. I was 11 when I was allowed to use the internet. Intuition was working fulltime or trying to. My psychic abilities were there and it was scary to know what was going to happen. If only I knew about this. Well I kinda did.

That Alanis Morrisette song Ironic has a new meaning.

.... And I hate it. 😑 In fall '09 I moved out of Josh's apartment. We broke up and my best friend drove 4 hours both ways to get me home. I knew it was "over". Shortly after settling back in, Erik found me bawling over this Game Over feeling. I asked a psychic about the outcome of our relationship and he said something like, sorry for your loss. I was like, ummm... Okay?

Josh gave me a fake 🌸 flower that was squishy and if you squeeze it, it lit-up. It sat on my windowsill. It flew across to the door and it freaked me out. Like, okay my house is finally haunted and I'm going to pretend it didn't happen and keep crying. I just knew it was over. I didn't want to have serious relationships after that and I didn't for a few years. I put everything aside to "look" for Erik. I passed up opportunities to travel the world and study music. That's what I really wanted to do. I just took whatever local college that accepted me just to please my mom. My heart was never in it because well I'm not working in hospitality and hardly did. My heart had always been set on Erik. Only I didn't know it at the time.

The most chilling thing about the whole thing is that feeling I had in '09 that it was over.

I just threw in the towel. Like what now? 21 years wasted. Then because of my depression over the worst break up at the time I threw away more time to play the field, drinking and abusing drugs; partying for 5 years and here I am now. Hating the fact that I kind of wasted my life. Having accomplished nothing of what I wanted to do. 🙄 Don't tell me some cheesy shit about how it's never too late and age is nothing but a number garbage. Uhhhh yeah... It's too late for me 😑. I don't have the luxury at my age to do what I should have done 12 or so years ago.

I won't make this longer than it needs to be. This is what makes this whole experience hurtful. It's not that I get retarded emails sent to me. 😕 The most agonizing and painful thing is he threw his life away and if it's true that we would have met if he waited well... You get the idea. Yet at the same time, say if he committed suicide while we are "together" I'm pretty fucking sure I'd be a permanent psych hospital resident or have killed myself too. If he died of natural causes or accident, I'd still be a mess but not as much. So how you look at it, outcome isn't so great. Even now. I rather talk to the living.

😘 💞 💕 ❤️ Good morning and good luck!

I forgot... I'm still intuitive and a medium. No matter how he died if we were ever together, I'm 99.9 WTFM (percent) certain I'd be dead either mentally or physically in some shape or form. 🤷🏼‍♀️

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com.

Submit a Twin Flame reading for free at TwinFlameMedium.Com and I provide detailed and lengthy readings starting at $5 per question at Store.TwinFlameMedium.Com

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram  YouTube

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Checking Accounts, Nintendo Switch, iPods, TSP, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Great advice for job seekers 2. Old hometown checking account 3. Making your own seasoning mixes 4. Inexpensive Nintendo Switch games 5. Partner has extreme debt 6. TSP contribution questions 7. Uses for old iPod? 8. Job search not that simple 9. Value of authenticating sports cards 10. Financial independence and career plans 11. Advice for selling books 12. True hourly discretionary income question I wanted to offer a little update on my switch to a standing desk for professional purposes. About two weeks ago, I moved my main workstation to a standing desk. The purpose for doing this was to significantly reduce the amount of time I spend sitting in a given day, because sitting for your job all the time has some negative long term health consequences. I did recognize that doing this fully cold turkey is a bad idea, and so I planned from the start to do it in stages. My plan was and still is to use the desk until I felt noticeable discomfort, then switch to a laptop in a chair for a while, then maybe alternate back later in the day. My goal was to simply raise my average time at the standing desk a little each week as I strengthen different muscle groups. After a couple of weeks of doing this, Ive found that the big impact has been on my lower back, with a smaller impact on my feet. Im able to work for about four to five hours a day at the standing desk, with other work time spent sitting in a comfortable chair with a laptop. What generally happens is that my lower back starts to get sore, not in a something is broken way but in a this is a muscle thats getting taxed due to exertion and needs a break way. Ill sit down for a while and itll feel much better. However, its constantly experiencing a low-grade soreness, the kind of soreness that happens when you exercise a muscle group. Theres nothing wrong here if I felt something wrong, I would stop using the standing desk for a while. However, it can be a little uncomfortable. Ive had some very minor foot discomfort, mostly on my heels, but nothing significant and it honestly seems to be fading over the last few days. Its hard to tell yet whether or not the standing desk is improving my health in any notable way. I certainly dont think its been bad, but I havent noticed a big health improvement. I do exercise most days, so thats definitely a positive factor, but its hard to extract the benefits of standing with the other benefits of exercise. I think its very likely that there have been some minor benefits, and I likely would have noticed more if I didnt already exercise. Its all about feeling healthy for as long as possible. On with the questions. Q1: Great advice for job seekers I wanted to share some advice from my own experience as an interviewer [in a large corporate HR department]. The big thing is that you shouldnt be hard on yourself if you interview for a job and dont get it. Often, there is already a candidate that is pre-selected and the interview process is a mere formality. Someone thought you were a good candidate and brought you in, but you didnt actually have a real chance at the job no matter how you interviewed. In fact, you should treat all interviews like that. Dont get stressed about them, because theres a good chance that theres already an anointed candidate. I would say that 75-80% of the time, we already have our minds made up regarding which candidate to hire before the interview process begins and interviews virtually never change our minds. Sometimes we will interview someone great and put them on a list of people to call in the future but almost without fail those people already have a job when we call them back. So please dont be hard on yourself if you dont succeed at an interview! And dont get overly stressed about it because theres a good chance that theres already an anointed candidate anyway. Just go in there and answer the questions and learn about the company and let the chips fall where they may. Alison This is great advice, and in line with some of my own hiring experiences in the past. I have been on all sides of this coin at various points. I have been the anointed candidate in a hiring process. I have also been one of the other candidates in a hiring process (where I knew someone else was anointed for an absolute fact). Ive also been involved with several hirings, some of which had strongly preferred candidates and some of which did not. The thing is, you never really know which kind of situation it is when youre interviewing. It may be a more open position where you actually have a good chance, or it may be a situation where you are one of the other candidates in an open process engineered to bring in the vastly preferred candidate with minimal questions. I think the mantra of dont worry about it is the right one here. Just go in there, answer the questions, ask some questions about the company, and move on and keep looking for the next interview or opportunity. If youre the right candidate, theyll call. Often, you wont be, and it wont be due to a fault of your own. Q2: Old hometown checking account I have left a checking account open at my old hometown bank for the last 20 years. It pays a very small interest rate 0.05%. I have a balance of about $1,200 in there. I have always looked at it as a last ditch emergency fund. If anything seriously goes wrong, Ill go there and use that money. But its just sitting there. Isnt there something better I could be doing with it? Dana I dont think theres anything wrong with having a last ditch emergency fund in a bank thats not easy to access. That idea is fine by me. However, its probably just going to sit there for a long time, so you might want to consider doing something with it that earns a better return. The next time youre in your hometown, stop by that bank and see what other options they have. Simply explain that this is an emergency fund for you and you want it in a place where it earns a little more, doesnt lose value, and could be withdrawn in an emergency but isnt likely to be withdrawn. Its very likely that theyll suggest a certificate of deposit, which is akin to a savings account except that it earns a bit higher interest rate and theres a small penalty for withdrawing it early. It wont take very long at all for the CD to earn more than the penalty for early withdrawal and then, after that, its onwards and upwards. Make sure that the bank allows you to automatically roll over the CD when it matures. Right now, with interest rates a bit higher than they were but still fairly low, Id choose a medium term CD, something in the range of one to two years. That will give you a higher interest rate than a short term CD but wont lock you in to these relatively low historical rates forever. Set it to automatically roll over, then forget about it until that last ditch emergency occurs. Q3: Making your own seasoning mixes Have you ever written an article about making your own seasoning mixes instead of buying mixes at the store? You can buy the component spices and mix them yourself and save a lot of money if you use seasonings a lot. I make an Italian seasoning and a chili seasoning and a toast seasoning myself. Margaret Toast seasoning? Youre going to have to send me that one. I have a bagel seasoning mix that I like to use on buttered toast sometimes I wonder if theyre similar. Although Ive mentioned seasoning mixes before and noted how its cheaper to make your own, I dont think Ive ever written a listing of the various spice mixes we have and how we store them. I store most of my spice mixes in large baby food jars that we still have from when our children were babies. I usually make them by mixing other spices by the teaspoon into a bowl and then stirring them thoroughly so theyre mixed, then I fill up the jar with the spice mix. I use masking tape for labeling. Using a mix is a learning experience. Over time, you start figuring out how much to put in stuff. Our chili mix, for example, usually takes a tablespoon and a half per batch, and a batch fills up our slow cooker about halfway. I could write a full post about this if theres interest, including some of my recipes. Just send me a message on Facebook if youd like to see that. Q4: Inexpensive Nintendo Switch games My husband and I bought our son a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. It is his first video game console and he had been asking for it all year so it was really fun to see him open it. Both sets of grandparents got him a game for it so he has had two games to play. His birthday is coming up soon and we asked him what he wanted and of course he wanted a Switch game. We asked him for a list of the ones he wanted and it has 15 or so games on it. The problem is that they are all $50 or more. Why are Switch games so expensive? Our full birthday gift budget for him is $50. Can you help? Anna This is a consistent challenge with Nintendos consoles, and it has been since the 1980s. Nintendo makes very high quality exclusive titles for their consoles those are usually the ones that wind up filling wish lists for console owners but they rarely go down in price until later in the consoles production cycle and the Switch is a pretty young system. Trust me your son isnt being greedy here. Hes probably listing most of the best games for the console, but they all happen to be expensive ones. I would guess that in a year or two, Nintendo will have a line of some of their top titles from a few years prior as Platinum titles for a much lower price point around $20 but were not there yet. So what can you do now? My recommendation is to visit a video game store that sells used games, like Gamestop, and see what they have available for the Switch thats used. Switch games, as you know, come on small cartridges, so its very easy to test a game to make sure it works you can ask them to test it before you buy. Getting a game used in the original packaging will still cost 50% to 75% of the sticker price and the selection may be a bit limited, but this is probably a fairly safe bet for getting one of the games he wants within your price point. A used Switch game is just as good as a new one in terms of someone focused on actually playing the games, so Id look there. Another approach would be to give him a gift card to the Nintendo eShop. There are a lot of very good downloadable titles for the Switch, and you use those gift cards to buy those downloadable titles. While this wouldnt give him any of the games he specifically wants, it would enable him to get a couple of games at least, and there are some very good games for $9.99 or less on the eShop. Q5: Partner has extreme debt I recently discovered that my bride-to-be (June) has about $140K in student loan debt. She had said that she had some student loans in the past but I did not have any idea how much. I am very uncomfortable with being saddled with that much debt. This has caused a great deal of conflict between us over the last few months and I found this out during the holidays. I am not sure what to do. Daniel The biggest factor Id look at is her day to day behavior right now. Is she a frugal person? Does she watch her nickels and dimes? Is she committed not in words but in actions to getting that debt paid off? Is she making extra payments on that debt? If you see that, then I wouldnt fret about it. On the other hand, if she seems to think that such a big debt isnt a big deal, she spends money frivolously all the time, and she isnt making much progress on that debt I would think very, very carefully about this relationship, because thats a value mismatch thats going to chafe for years and years. Beyond that, I would also consider what kind of field that her degree is in. Was the degree she earned in a field with a high income potential, or was it something that will never earn a substantial income? Also, Id look at other factors, like whether or not parental support was promised and then denied. If shes aiming for a high paying career, such as medicine or law or some types of engineering, I wouldnt worry too much about it. If she took out that much debt for a career path that has a very low likelihood of earning a high salary, I would be really concerned. I would also be concerned with that level of debt if there was also significant financial support from her parents where did all of that money go? The challenge with marriage is that you are financially tied to each other in a very deep way and her choices regarding the debt she took out for her education are indicative of the decision making process she will likely employ going forward except now youll be financially liable for them. Having that much debt unless you are both high income earners will significantly affect your life decisions for a very long time, likely for the rest of your life. It will delay your ability to have children that you can support financially, for starters. It will alter both of your career choices and possibilities. It will delay your ability to have a home of your own. I guess, in this situation, what I would really look for are signs of financial maturity beyond that of the student loans. Is she focused on repaying that debt with or without you? Is she making the most of her degree? Does she spend frivolously? I cant answer for you whether this woman is worth it to you. She may be perfect for you in every other way, in which case youll be happier with her. However, having that much student loan debt, and given the alarm bells it sets off in your head, is a sign of likely incompatibility over financial issues, and thats not a recipe for a great marriage. As always, conversation is key, as is paying attention to her actions. What kind of steps is she taking (not just talking about, but taking) in her life knowing that huge debt is sitting there? If youre struggling to answer that and this debt makes you this uncomfortable, this may not be the best situation for you. Q6: TSP contribution questions I am 36 years old, single, no children, no plans to ever marry. I just got a government job that I hope to keep for the rest of my life. Knowing that I am receiving FERS and Social Security already in retirement, how much should I contribute to my TSP to be able to have a comfortable retirement?Want to retire at 65 and have about the same amount of disposable income when I retire. Janine For those unfamiliar, FERS is the pension plan for US federal government employees. TSP is an optional 401(k)-like plan for additional retirement savings. Based on this, FERS should provide about 33% of your final salary when you retire. Social Security, depending on your income level, will provide somewhere around 30% of your income. That means you need to make up about 37% of your income from TSP. If you contribute 5% of your salary to TSP, the federal government matches another 4%. Above that, theres no matching. Given all of that information, I ran some back of the envelope calculations and conclude that given your age and your aim to retire at age 65 with your full salary intact from your various retirement sources and that you want to be able to draw from TSP for the rest of your life, you should contribute 15% of your salary to TSP. This should enable you to withdraw enough from TSP each year to make up your salary shortfall when you retire at age 65 and the TSP balance should last for the rest of your life. Youll want to invest TSP fairly aggressively the target retirement options should work. While I cant guarantee that 15% will get you there, I can certainly say that it is extremely likely that it will either get you there or get you very close to your goal. Q7: Uses for old iPod? Found an old iPod in a desk drawer along with charging cable. Is there any use for this or should I just junk it? I powered it up and it turns on just fine. Adam I dont own an original iPod (I had one way back in the day but I sold it off circa 2007-2008), but a friend of mine keeps one in her car and listens to music with it every day using a cassette tape adapter. You could do the same thing with an auxiliary cable if your car has an AUX port. Just load it up with mp3s of a bunch of music and/or podcasts that you like, keep it in your car, and listen to it during commutes. If you have a charger that hooks into the cigarette lighting receptacle in your car, then you can plug into that and keep it permanently charged. My friend has hundreds of albums that she loved in her teens and twenties. If you like alternative or indie rock from about 1990 to about 2007, theres a good chance youll find a ton to love on her iPod. Just fill yours up to the brim with stuff you like and youll always have something to listen to. You can fill it up with the full archives of a podcast and listen to the entire run of a podcast, too. Old iPods are great for these kinds of things. In other words, use it for what it was intended for. Load it up with audio. Q8: Job search not that simple While I appreciate your regular encouragement to go find a new job if your current one is sapping you, its not always that simple. I have been working as a legacy systems programmer for the same company for 16 years. Most of my day is maintaining old code, migrating it to new machines, and dealing with corporate [nonsense]. I literally hate going into work each day. There arent any available jobs nearby that match my skill set. Trust me, Ive looked. I cant move because my daughter has particular health care needs and needs to be near a top notch medical facility. That also means I need good insurance. I cant just go into work and say, Well, time to find a new job today! Thats just a pipe dream. Terry All right, so what jobs are available in your area that are close to your skill set? Youre obviously in a metro area of some kind. I guarantee there are programming jobs in that area. Whats actually available? What things are most similar to your skillset? Once you know that, start honing your skillset at work so that you can make that leap. Learn how to write tools that will help you with the legacy coding you already do. Start trying to port your legacy code over to a new language for modern systems during your downtime. Use this as an opportunity to learn new languages and paradigms. Get involved with any and all local software development groups. Try to go to their face to face meetings and get heavily involved in any online spaces they have, being as helpful as you possibly can there. Build up some good relationships in your field, then just casually ask about positions that match your refurbished skill set. Also, keep your resume honed on LinkedIn so you can be discovered by people who might be looking for folks in your area. Dont aim for hopelessness. Aim for a light at the end of the tunnel. You can do this at any job. I had a job where I was literally shoveling dirt for hours and hours during the middle of the night by myself and yet I found ways to aim that toward my next step. Q9: Value of authenticating sports cards I have a bunch of sports cards mostly baseball and basketball from the 1960s. I have looked at selling some of them individually but when I look online almost all sales are authenticated cards in a special holder. I looked into this and it looks like you send your cards to an authentication service and pay them a fee and they put them in a special plastic holder with a tag that says its authentic and gives it a grade for its condition. Is this worth it for selling trading cards? Are there ways to sell cards without this kind of service? Marvin You basically described the sports card authentication world pretty well. It exists because there was rampant fraud in older sports cards and other trading cards for a while, so some reputable dealers popped up and started offering authentication and grading services so that people would know exactly what they were buying. Its become the de facto standard for any sports cards of significant value. Basically, if the card is older than about 1975 or so, the player has any name recognition at all, and the card is in reasonably good shape, youre going to make more money selling it after authentication than before, even including the cost of authentication. If its a no-name player or its beat up, youre not going to make a whole lot for it anyway, as people will just want those to help complete sets and they wont sell for more than pennies. What Id do is look for Hall of Fame caliber player cards from your collection (or, as a friend of mine said, Hall of Famers plus Pete Rose) and get those authenticated to sell individually. The rest, Id just divide out by set and sell in bulk. (I have an almost complete 1965 Topps set missing just a few commons that Ive worked on for literally decades, so Im fairly familiar with all of this.) Q10: Financial independence and career plans So how much financial independence would a person need to be able to have full career independence where you still want to have a career but you just feel empowered to make whatever choice seems exciting to you without really worrying about salary but still assuming youre earning a decent salary to live on? I make about $80K and think I can live well on about $40K so my savings rate is about 30% after taxes. How many years would I have to do this before money exits the equation as a career consideration? Barney I think the real question youre asking is how much do I need to save so that retirement is fully covered? This calculator is probably my preferred one. Youll want to play around with different settings to see how long youll need to save to hit your goals. The further you are from retirement, the lower your total savings goal will be. Also, if you assume Social Security benefits will come to you at rates similar to whats available today, the lower your total savings goal will be. You may even be at your target in several years. However, Id still recommend that you save for retirement after you hit your goal number if youre earning a good salary. This allows you to walk away even earlier if you just get tired of the rat race before a typical retirement age. Q11: Advice for selling books I have a collection of hardback books I want to sell. What is the best way to get maximum value for them? Tracy First of all, it depends a lot on what books youre exactly trying to sell. Are they novels? Cookbooks? Old Dungeons and Dragons books? Encyclopedias? Youll want to go to eBay and try to get a sense as to what theyre actually worth. You will probably get the maximum value from them by selling them individually. However, that is exponentially more work for only a fairly modest rate of return. You might be able to sell a lot of ten books for $20 or sell them each individually for $3, for example. Is that extra effort in packaging and shipping and tracking and communication for nine additional packages worth the $10 to you? Another note: if youre selling books, USPS Media Mail is your friend. Its a highly discounted shipping rate that applies to sending books through the mail, and it comes with a tracking number. (Its cheap because its slow and USPS knows a book can sit in a warehouse for a day with zero problems.) You should always use this when shipping books and magazines. Q12: True hourly discretionary income question I understand how this perspective helps to highlight the high cost of non-necessary spending now in terms of lost leisure in the future. But I think it overstates the cost of non-necessities in terms of hours worked. In your example where your annual net wage is $34,000 and your annual work hours is 2,740 (so you net $12.41 per hour worked) and your necessities cost $24,600/year, you should account for 1,982 work hours (= $24,600/$12.41 per hour) as covering necessities, leaving 2,740 1982 = 758 hours for non-necessities. In each of those 758 hours, you net $12.41/hour, and that is the cost of your necessities in terms of hour worked. So a $50 board game costs you $50/$12.41 per hour = 4 hours, not 10.5 hours. The key is to see that you still actually net $12.41/hour, regardless of whether those earnings go to necessities or non-necessities. One way to see this is to realize that the approach in the post can lead to unrealistic implications for the hours of work required to purchase non-necessities. For example, suppose in your example above, necessities are only $10,000 year, and non-necessary spending is then $34,000 $10,000 = $24,000. If your hourly wage for non-necessities is really $4.96/hour like the post says, then it would take $24,000/$4.96 per hour = 4,838 hours to earn that $24,000. But you earned the $34,000 with only 2,740 hours, so something is wrong. Max Max is referring to this article from last week, Using Your True Hourly Discretionary Income to Make Smarter Purchases. Youre just looking at the same issue in a different way. Rather than looking at each hour as being subdivided between essential expenses and non-essential expenses, youre doing the same thing with the total hours over a year. In that example, then, 1,741 of the hours you work essentially earn you nothing in terms of spending money, because all of it goes to essentials. So, frugality in essence just means that youre migrating some of the hours you work from your pool of hours spent on essential expenses to the hours you work for spending money. My angle was different. I divided the income from each hour into essential expenses and spending money. The essential expenses gobble up $7.45 of the $12.41 you earn each hour, while your spending money makes up only $4.96 of the $12.41 you earn each hour. So, then, you judge whether an expense is worth it using just the $4.96, since its the only portion you can actually freely spend. In this case, frugality moves a little bit of money from the $7.45 essential expenses per hour pile to the $4.96 spending money per hour pile. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-checking-accounts-nintendo-switch-ipods-tsp-and-more/

[ericsburden-blog]

How to Drive Traffic to a Brand-New Site with Little to No Money

I know what you are going through.

You were excited to launch your brand-new site until you realized no one is coming to it.

So, you head to all of the marketing blogs to learn how to fix this, but for the life of you, your traffic won’t go up no matter which tactic you leverage.

What you’re feeling right now is very common. Not only have I experienced it, but when I was starting out, I even took the small life savings that I made from cleaning restrooms and sweeping up trash to pay a marketing firm to help me out.

And can you guess what happened?

They took my money and provided no results.

See, what most marketers aren’t telling you is that there are two main reasons why you aren’t getting traffic to your brand-new site (other than the fact that you don’t have much money to spend on ads):

Marketing is a long-term game – almost all of the tactics marketers, including me, talk about are long-term tactics. They take 6 months or even longer to see any results.

Your execution needs to be flawless – if you don’t implement the tactics correctly, you won’t see results.

Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t see short-term results or sales. More so you have to change up your strategy.

So, I thought I would do something a bit different today. I am going to break down what you should be doing during the first 12 weeks after launching your site.

I’ll be sharing a tactic for you to follow each week and, if you follow it, you’ll notice that your traffic will start going up right away. From there, you’ll start to see sales coming in.

Before I dive into the 12 tactics, note that you won’t have to spend much money, if any at all. I am also not going to give you advice that is extremely time-consuming, like writing blog posts, as you’ll also be running your business at the same time.

And of course, the tactics work for both B2B and B2C sites. It doesn’t matter if you are an ecommerce site or a SaaS company. Follow the steps below exactly.

Week #1: Respond to comments on other people’s blog without spamming

Have you heard of a popular site called Mashable? It was founded by Pete Cashmore.

When he launched his competing site to TechCrunch, no one knew about him and no one cared to listen to him as he was based in Scotland instead of Silicon Valley.

But do you think that stopped him? Of course not!

So, what did he do? He went out there and commented on every competing tech blog. And not only did he comment, but he always tried to be the first commenter.

See, when you leave a comment on a blog, most ask you to put in your name, URL, and comment.

Assuming you are leaving valuable comments and nothing spammy, you’ll notice that you’ll get referral traffic in your Google Analytics.

This will be because a very small percentage of people are clicking on your name when you leave a comment.

And considering some of the most popular blogs on the web receive millions of visitors each week, it’s not that hard to drive a fraction of a percent of their traffic back to your site.

The key with this strategy is to be one of the first commenters as that ensures your comment is at the top. The other key, of course, is that your comment must add value.

For example, if you own a marketing related product or service, marketing blogs would be a great place to comment. But what do you think will happen if you leave this kind of standard comment:

Nice post! Keep up the good work!

Nothing. On the flip side, if you put in some effort to write something that benefited the reader, you’ll have a chance at getting some traffic.

An example could be something like this…

Neil, I love the actionable tips on generating traffic for a brand-new site within the first 3 months of launching it. But I know you didn’t discuss much if any about SEO.

I know SEO is a long-term strategy, but people should get a head start right away or else it will take that much longer to get loved by Google.

One thing that I recommend every site to start off with is simple keyword research. You can use any free keyword research tool like Google Keyword Planner and type in your competitor URL. Google Keyword Planner will then suggest keywords and even show you the cost per click.

By going after keywords that aren’t competitive and have a higher cost per click, you’ll find that you can generate search traffic at a much faster pace and these keywords will drive sales. As keywords with a high cost per click tend to mean that they convert.

Do you see what I mean by writing thoughtful comments that help people?

This tactic works!

Jared, who runs Skincare by Alana, still leverages this tactic today. When he and his wife launched their ecommerce store they commented on other popular blogs and social sites when it came to all things skin related.

This helped them generate 931 visitors during their first week and 12 sales.

I know it’s not a lot, but you have to start somewhere and grow from there.

I also have leveraged this tactic for years. Instead of focusing just on blogs, I commented on relevant social sites too.

As you can see from the screenshot above, I’ve generated over 1.9 million views on my Quora responses.

Here’s an example of one of my responses:

You’ll notice that in my response I also link out to my own site which drives traffic back to me.

Yes, the response looks very long, and you may think I put in tons of work, but I literally copied and pasted a blog post I had already written and added it to Quora.

Google doesn’t penalize for duplicate content. 😉

If you are going to use this strategy during week one, try to leave at least 10 solid comments per day. I would try to leave 20 as it shouldn’t take you more than two hours per day… assuming you haven’t done this before.

I can typically leave 15 comments in less than 50 minutes. So, throughout the first week try to speed things up and spend no more than an hour on this tactic per day.

Week #2: Be helpful on Twitter and you’ll get tweets

Before I go into week 2, keep in mind you’ll still want to maintain the tactics I share in the previous week.

By week 12, you’ll want to be following all 12 tactics each week.

Of course, you won’t be able to put in the same number of hours into each tactic and that’s fine, but you can still do them a bit. For example, you can still leave 5 comments a day instead of leaving 20.

So, let’s dive into week 2, which is all about Twitter.

This tactic I learned from my brother-in-law Hiten Shah. He used to leverage this tactic for every one of our startups… Crazy Egg, KISSmetrics, and he now leverages it for his newest company FYI.

If you look at Hiten, he built up his personal brand and influence in the tech space because of Twitter. Sure, people like me may have a bigger brand or more Twitter followers, but he has much, much, much more authority on Twitter than I do.

As you can see influential people on Twitter are tweeting about Hiten’s latest company.

He even tweets and connects with well-known entrepreneurs like the founder of HubSpot and Drift because of Twitter.

So how is Hiten getting all of these people to show him some Twitter love? Well, he has a 3-step formula…

Help people

Help people

Help people

And no, I am not joking, that is his formula. He doesn’t care to promote his business, he just helps people.

Let’s look at his Twitter profile to dive deeper into his strategy.

If you look at the tweets above, you’ll notice that Hiten continually pushes out advice on his Twitter profile. He rarely mentions his own company, but instead just tries to help people.

And when people ask questions or need help, he constantly responds to people’s tweets.

Not everyone takes his advice, but his mentality is to just be helpful no matter what. Just look at how he responds to people’s tweets.

Lastly, he retweets stuff that he likes. Whether you are an influencer or an average joe, he doesn’t care. He just wants to share the best information out there.

This is why so many people tweet about his product FYI. It’s because he is super helpful, so people naturally want to help him out without him even asking them to.

Now I know this strategy that Hiten uses seems like it is going to take forever to get results, and it does. But there is a hack that he uses to get immediate results.

Every day you should search Twitter for people talking about your competitor. When people have questions about your competitors’ products or services (or they have complaints), try and help them.

Don’t pitch them on your company, just try and help them.

What you’ll find is people will be shocked that you are helping a competitor. And if you are this kind and helpful, then what kind of service would they get if they took their business to you…

In other words, being helpful wins you goodwill and it will cause people to switch from your competitor over to you.

And if you go above and beyond like Hiten, people who haven’t even used your product or service will help promote you. Just like how one of his followers tweeted about FYI and he hasn’t even used it yet.

His strategy to help, help, and help some more has made Twitter one of FYI’s biggest traffic source. It accounts for roughly 25% of their weekly traffic.

Week #3: Go after small affiliates

No matter what industry you are in, there are affiliates. If you aren’t familiar with affiliate marketing, check out this post.

When you are starting out you probably haven’t created an affiliate program yet in which pay other marketers every time they drive you a sale or a lead.

You can always use software like Hasoffers to set one up or go through a network. There are literally hundreds of options and with a few quick Google searches, you can find one which is the right fit for you.

Now, what most people will tell you is that no one is going to promote your affiliate offer because it is unproven and new.

Although it’s true that your offer is unproven, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost.

During your third week, I want you to copy the strategy ConvertKit used when they first launched.

The strategy I am about to break down helped them grow from a few thousand dollars a month in revenue to over a million a month.

What ConvertKit did was they went to all of their competitors’ sites and looked to see which ones had an affiliate program. One of those competitors happens to be Aweber.

Then once they had a list of competitors with affiliate programs, they performed a Google search for “competitor name vs.” An example would be “Aweber vs”…

From there they would email each of those site owners asking them to include ConvertKit in the article or even write a unique article about ConvertKit. Just like this one.

Just think of it this way, if someone is willing to be an affiliate for one company, they won’t mind throwing in a few extra competitors. All it does is give them the potential to make more money.

When leveraging this tactic, consider sending out 10 emails a day. It shouldn’t take long and people typically don’t mind adjusting their web pages to add in another link that could potentially earn them extra money.

Now compared to most tactics, this one will drive the least amount of visitors.

But the traffic will be very qualified and more likely to convert as you are going after “versus” articles. When someone types in “Company X VS Company Y” into Google, they are researching which solution is ideal for them. These posts rank well and they tend to drive sales.

Week #4: Hire guest writers

Now the strategy I am about to break down for you in week 4 is my favorite strategy.

This is what I used in my last startup KISSmetrics to grow our blog traffic to over a million visitors a month.

If you head to the KISSmetrics site you’ll notice that it now redirects to NeilPatel.com as I bought the site.

So how much traffic did the KISSmetrics blog get from this strategy?

As you can see from the image above, we peaked at 1,260,681 unique visitors a month.

Our strategy was simple… hire writers who had a social following.

We went to the Problogger Job Board and posted a job looking for writers.

The job description looked something like this…

Are you a marketing expert? Do you know marketing like the back of your hand?

That’s great because I have an opportunity for you.

KISSmetrics is a leader in the web analytics space and we are looking to work with expert writers who know marketing and analytics.

We’re currently looking to expand our team of writers with passionate enthusiasts for digital marketing and with expertise and passion for writing.  We are hiring individuals for each of the following categories:

SEO

Content marketing

Social media

Web analytics

Conversion optimization

Paid advertising

Web design

Branding

Email marketing

Please go to our blog for examples of content we’re looking to create. [insert URL of your blog]

We would like to build a long-term relationship with you that is on a project basis. Initially, we will have you submit a list of topic ideas you would love to blog on, then we will pick one, have you outline it… and of course, you’ll then be off to the races.

The articles will be anywhere from 1,000 words to 3,000. Our goal isn’t to enforce a word count, we are more interested in high-quality content.

We’re looking for someone who is:

Looking for a long-term working relationship

Has 1 year of working experience as a writer

Has a good level of knowledge of digital marketing

Is willing to research and learn more about marketing

Has great grammar and spelling skills as well as proficiency in English

Likes working with deadlines and structure

Has a social following and doesn’t mind promoting the content you are writing as it will be published under your name

How to apply

Send an email to [insert your email] with – Applying For Writer Position in the subject line. Your email should include:

A bit about you as well as links to your social profiles

Why you’re a good fit for this position

Links to 2 -3 articles you have written

Your rate per 500 words.

The way we scaled up to over a million visitors a month was by publishing 5 blog posts a week. And every time a writer wrote a blog post for us, they didn’t mind promoting it to their social following as their name was on the article.

Once we got over 50,000 visitors a month, we noticed that we started to get inbound inquires of people willing to write for us for free. So eventually we slowly transitioned to a model where people wrote for us for free and we didn’t need to hire or pay writers.

You’ll notice that this will happen with your blog as it gets more popular.

What’s great about this strategy is the more writers you get, the more people that will find out about your company as each writer has different people following them on the social web.

Week #5: Create a podcast and interview guests

Have you listened to my podcast Marketing School? If you haven’t listened to it yet, check it out.

My co-host Eric Siu and I give marketing advice each day in under 5 minutes.

But don’t worry, the strategy I want you to implement isn’t to copy Marketing School or even listen to it (although I would be honored if you did listen to it).

Instead, it’s to copy my co-host, Eric Siu. He has another popular podcast called Growth Everywhere where he interviews someone new each and every single week.

You don’t have to do a weekly podcast, but I want you to interview someone in your space at least once a month.

And instead of making a separate site for your podcast, just pop it onto your main site.

Now when you publish each of these interviews, ask the guest to share it with their audience. From their social profiles to posting it on their own blog to even emailing their own list.

Although Eric has built a brand in the marketing space, he wasn’t well known when he started Growth Everywhere.

Just look at his stats from leveraging this tactic:

Eric’s generating over 15,300 unique visitors a month. That’s a lot of traffic considering Eric hasn’t even tried to grow the traffic to Growth Everywhere.

Best of all, you can generate similar results to Eric. But the key to doing this is interviewing people within your space so that way the traffic that comes to your site is relevant and over time those visitors will convert into customers.

If you don’t know how to start a podcast, watch this:

You could buy fancy equipment, but I would just use whatever’s built into your computer until you start seeing results from this tactic.

And if you really want to make your podcast popular, check this out.

Week #6: Become a rising star

Do you want to be a rising star? Well of course you do… who doesn’t?

Now you probably wondering, what the heck is a “rising star?”

Well, let me first start off with, Facebook groups.

Whatever industry you are in, whoever your ideal customers are… you can find them in a Facebook group.

Look for niche groups on Facebook related to the product or service you are selling. You want to join these groups as long as they have over 1,000 members.

You may also find groups that have over a million members. You’ll want to avoid these groups.

Focus on groups that are between 1,000 members and 17,000 members. Those groups are big enough to where you can generate traffic and small enough where you’ll be noticed.

What you’ll want to do is join a handful of groups and post 4 to 5 times in the group during your first month.

Assuming you are creating posts that are engaging in which people are responding and interacting with you, then you’ll get a rising star badge.

That means people are interacting with your posts. So then when you mention your product or service, you’ll find that not only will people see it, but they are going to head on over to your site.

The key with posting to Facebook groups is to create a high amount of comments and replies. If you just link out to your site you’ll get very few clicks and you will look like a spammer. Posting links and nothing more will get you banned from the group.

But if you link out within context or answer someone’s question with a link to your site or share something from your site that will help group members, you are much more likely to get clicks.

But if the content isn’t engaging and people don’t care to leave comments, you won’t see much traffic from your Facebook group.

I have a private Facebook group with 2,616 members.

When you post something that is engaging, you’ll get featured as a “top recent post” and I’ve found with my 2,616 members I can generate 119 to 184 visitors when I post something that is super engaging that links to my site.

But instead of creating a group as I did, just join other popular groups. You’ll save a ton of time.

Week #7: Co-publish content

Have you ever thought about co-publishing content with other site owners? Even if you don’t have a huge audience, people will still love co-publishing content with you.

Why you may ask?

Well, they may have the audience, but they may be too busy to continually create new content.

Just look at me… I co-published so many guides with other writers.

And…

And…

These writers got tons of exposure and did the majority of the work.

Over time, these guides have generated well over a million visitors. But I know they are time-consuming to create, and I’m not asking you to create guides.

Instead, you can co-publish blog posts together, record a webinar together, create a white paper, or anything else that you feel could be a good fit.

A good example of this is how my team co-published content together with a company called Hotmart in Brazil.

They wrote about Ubersuggest. They even co-published a video about SEO and, of course, my team mentioned Ubersuggest.

That helped make Brazil the most popular country when it comes to usage for Ubersuggest.

If you are going to try and co-publish content with others, make sure you are willing to do the majority of the work.

Hit up other sites within your space and make your offer. Let them know how they won’t have to do much work and, of course, mention what they’ll get out of it.

When you co-publish content, you can’t just talk about your company, you also have to talk about theirs.

Week #8: Product launches

Have you heard of Drift?

It’s a chatbot tool that a lot of people in sales and marketing use.

What I love about Drift is their Product Hunt strategy. Every time they release a new feature, they push it hard on Product Hunt.

You probably don’t have a ton of new feature releases as you have a brand new site but every time you have one you should consider pushing it out on Product Hunt or even a Sub-Reddit.

But for now, why can’t you launch your site on Product Hunt or on a Sub-Reddit?

Sure you site maybe live for a few weeks, but you haven’t announced it to the world yet. 🙂

Product Hunt is super effective when it comes to traffic generation. When FYI launched via Product Hunt they got over 1,000 votes. It was so successful, the HubSpot co-founder even offered them funding.

I did something similar with Ubersuggest. Every time I release a new feature, I announce it on Product Hunt. So far it has driven me 12,319 visitors.

The key with doing well on Product Hunt is:

Get as many votes right when you release it… ideally within the first hour (so ask your friends and co-workers to vote)

Participate in the community before you submit your own site. Ideally, you want someone else to submit, but if you don’t know any active Product Hunt users, participate for a bit before you submit your own site.

Make sure you respond to every single comment as this helps with engagement.

Submit your site very early in the morning Pacific Standard Time. Product Hunt resets every night, so consider submitting it around 4 am Pacific Standard Time.

I know self-promotion might be a bit difficult for you when you are starting off but you need to embrace it. There is nothing wrong with pushing your own company… if you don’t, no one else will.

Week #9: The gram

Honestly, what do you think of Instagram?

Well, whether you like it or hate it, it is one of the most popular social networks out there. And influencer marketing is becoming one of the most effective promotion channels.

Anytime a Kardashian talks about a product, it flies right off the shelves.

That’s how companies like FitTea came out of nowhere and grew to 7 figures in revenue overnight.

I know what you are thinking: It’s going to be too expensive to pay Kim Kardashian to talk about your business. And you are right, it will be too expensive.

Heck, anyone who has over a million followers will try and charge you too much. Anyone with over 100,000 will also probably charge you too much.

Instead, I want you to look for micro-influencers who have at least 10,000 followers. Find people within your vertical who aren’t too popular but whose followers would be your ideal customer.

Now I want you to reach out to these influencers and offer them a bit of money to promote your product or service.

When it comes to making your offer, don’t pay them money for a post because it will be too expensive, pay them to create an Instagram story.

See, the moment someone hits 10,000 followers, Instagram enables the “swipe up” feature. This means they can tell their followers to swipe up to head over to any website. And in this case, they will be telling their followers to swipe up and head over to your website.

You’ll find that influencers will create a story for pennies on the dollar as it expires within 24 hours.

Typically, if someone has 10,000 to 20,000 followers, I am able to pay them a few hundred bucks for 3 stories over a 2 week period.

I prefer this over a post because this drives traffic to your site and you can track the number of sales you are generating from each campaign.

You can also leverage sites like Influence to find influencers.

A friend of mine, Timothy Sykes, does this often. He goes crazy and pays influencers with over a million followers to do this because he has been able to make each campaign profitable.

Typically, you find that 1% to 2% of the person’s followers will swipe up and head to your site, assuming the story is good. With this strategy, you won’t get a ton of visitors, but the visitors you do get are more likely to convert into customers as they’ve already been pitched during the story.

Week #10: Wikipedia

Have you ever thought about Wikipedia as a traffic source? I know I didn’t until I attended a marketing conference years ago and heard someone from Comedy Central speak.

This marketer was breaking down how Comedy Central gets millions of visitors a month, which isn’t shocking because it’s a popular television channel.

But what was shocking is how they broke down how they generate over 100,000 visitors a month from Wikipedia.

You heard me right, they get well over 100,000 visitors a month just from Wikipedia.

How’s that possible?

Well, they go in and modify Wikipedia articles and mention Comedy Central whenever it is relevant.

But before you go off and modify hundreds of Wikipedia articles, know that you won’t get the same result as Comedy Central.

It’s more realistic for you to generate a few hundred visitors a month… and maybe even work your way up to a few thousand visitors a month over time.

The key with editing Wikipedia articles is to first adjust tons of pages that aren’t about your website. It’s not just about linking to your site, it’s more so about providing value to the community.

So, during this week, I want you to adjust 12 to 15 articles. Once you do that you can then adjust any relevant ones to your business and include your own company when it makes sense.

Again you won’t get a ton of traffic from this, but you can easily get a few hundred visitors.

Here are the steps you need to follow if you want to edit articles on Wikipedia.

Week #11: Speak at a virtual summit

By now you should have some traffic coming to your site. It may not be a lot, but if you followed all of the steps above, your visitors should be highly qualified.

And now I want you to leverage those visitors to get you a speaking spot at a virtual summit.

Search Google for a virtual summit in your industry. You should be able to easily find one.

It doesn’t matter if they are charging people to attend the virtual summit or if they are giving tickets away for free. Offer yourself to speak and promote the event.

You’ll be shocked at how many people will say yes if you are willing to promote their event.

Remember, unlike a physical conference it doesn’t cost them much to add hundreds of speakers and keep the summit going for an extra day or two.

When speaking, be sure you can promote your company during your speech and you’ll notice that you’ll be able to generate some visitors and sales. But that’s not why I want you to speak at the virtual summit.

Instead, I want you to ask the host of the summit to share the attendee list with you. Assuming they have the right terms of service and privacy policies this shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

You’ll also have to make sure they aren’t breaking any GDPR rules.

What you’ll find is this is a common practice with most virtual events in which the speakers will promote the event and the virtual summit will share the attendee list with the speakers.

This will give you a list of super qualified people that you can promote your blog posts to or even your product and services.

Week #12: Scripts and tools

You know I love SEO and it’s an amazing long-term strategy. But to do well with SEO you need backlinks.

The more relevant sites linking to you, the better off you are going to be.

And as you get more backlinks, in the short run it will provide referral traffic. In the long run, it will cause your search traffic to skyrocket.

Just to show you how powerful referral traffic is, just look at my referral traffic:

Over time, all of those sites linking to you will start driving thousands of visitors.

So, what’s the best way to get more backlinks?

Well, you don’t want to buy them. And manual link building takes a long time and isn’t as effective as it used to be.

Instead, what you should do is release free tools, like how I released the SEO Analyzer years ago. And over time, it’s naturally produced 2,369 backlinks from 450 referring domains.

Now, I know what you are thinking: building a free tool is expensive and time-consuming. But it doesn’t have to be. You can buy existing tools and put them on your website for pennies on the dollar. And over time, they will naturally get backlinks without you needing to do anything more.

For example, if you have a real estate website, you can always add a mortgage calculator to your website. And can you guess how much it would cost for you to add one to your site?

$13. That’s right, it only costs 13 bucks! How crazy is that!?

There’s a site called Code Canyon where you can buy tools for almost any industry.

You can use these tools as your own and put them on your site with a few clicks of a button.

Just head over to Code Canyon and perform some searches. You’ll quickly find some tools that can work for you.

Keep in mind that these tools won’t be 100% perfect compared to building your own tool. But that’s ok, you have to start somewhere. Plus, people will still link to your tool even if it isn’t perfect.

Conclusion

I know some of the tactics I mentioned above won’t drive you thousands of visitors right away but they can drive you hundreds. And hundreds of visitors is a great place to start!

And when you combine them over time, it will help you get thousands of visitors. You just have to be willing to perform all of the steps in each week… no matter how silly the tactic may appear.

More importantly, the tactics I broke down above will drive you visitors that convert into customers and leads. All you have to do is take the next 12 weeks and follow them.

It may seem like a lot of work at first, but you’ll get faster at them as time goes on.

So, what do you think about the tactics above? Are you already using them?

The post How to Drive Traffic to a Brand-New Site with Little to No Money appeared first on Neil Patel.

How to Drive Traffic to a Brand-New Site with Little to No Money

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I’m 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?

"I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?

Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???

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So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 17. But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 5600! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""

Car Insurance Question in NJ?

My husband and I have two cars- both insured with us as the drivers. However, his mother (and sometimes his three brothers) have been using my husband's car while there's is getting fixed. They've had the car going on three months- and I read on progressive.com (our insurance, obviously) that we're responsible to make sure any 'regular' drivers are covered under our insurance. I'm not sure their insurance situation, since the car has been so delayed in getting fixed- they may have canceled it until they get it back. So, I don't actually want to contact the insurance company- because I'm sure they'll do what's best for them, not us. My questions are- are we responsible to cover them under our insurance since they are driving it 'regularly' or since we have the car covered is it okay? What would happen if someone besides me and my husband had a collision in that car- would the insurance be obsolete?""

I'm wondering a car insurance random question?

Hello, my brother has a cheap honda civic like $6 thousand .. He was driving and got in a car accident with a $200,000 dollar car.. The back bumper of the $200k car is wrecked and my brothers car is fine.. He has insurance .. Does the insurance cover everything.? Thanks""

Does anyone know of cheap health insurance in north carolina?

am a father of two and my wife has her and the kids covered under her policy at work. I have not had insurance in over 12 years! I need low cost health insurance and I have heard of plans under $100. I obviously never get sick, and dont mind a high deductible. I really need a low premium and a semi low RX cost and co-pay/ doctor visit (just in case). Any help or suggestions? Thanks!!!""

Is it illegal to not have insurance on a car you don't drive?

It's tagged and everything, just don't see the point in paying for car insurance if it isn't getting driven.""

""New, young, girl drivers. How much are you paying for car insurance? Thinking about looking into NFU?""

I turned 17 last month and I have started my driving lessons. I am looking to buy a car, paying monthly over a 48 month-ish period. I want a car that's around 2500, but as expected, I can't seem to find a reasonable insurance quote anywhere. Just wondering whether anyone's had any joy? Both my parents (who would be on the insurance) haven't got any claims etc, I live in a registered D area according to the insurance area bands, I can keep my mileage below 3000 and keep my car on my driveway. Just wondering whether people gone with NFU, and basically good companies who could do a reasonable quote.""

Insurance Quote on WRX for 19 Year Old?

Hi im just curious if anyone out there could tell me what im probably going to be paying for a 2009 Subaru WRX. Im 19, male, and in my second year of college no tickets only one accident which WASNT my fault. Progressive wants to charge me $466 a MONTH. car would be payed off after 1 month and i live at home with parents HELP ME!""

""Question about being a teen, and car insurance?""

I am 17 now, I am taking my driver's test in about a week. My boyfriend said that when he got his licence he was automatically added to his mom and dad's car insurance. Well I was wondering would it be the same for me. Because (This might be a little confusing (: ) I was adopted by my birth mother's boyfriends mom, and i live with her and her mom. No one in the house has a car, or car insurance, and my birth mother doesn't have any custody of me but she does have car insurance, and my birth father has half custody of me, and he has car insurance. So.... ha ha my question in general is, when get my license, will I be added to any ones insurance? Or will I have to get my own? Ha ha ALSO, If I do have to get my own what would be the best and cheapest insurance for me? I wouldn't want full coverage, I would just get P.I.P. Please and thank you so much!""

Motorcycle insurance?

I live in the city of toronto but have a cottage up in peterborough. I got an insanely ridiculous expensive quote if i ride in the city, so i was wondering if i can get my insurance policy under my cottage address because i will likely just be driving it up in peterborough throughout the summer.""

Cheap Health Insurance In New York State for single adult?

Is there any good but cheap health insurance in new york state not based on income?

Why are insurance companies such bastards?

I could never figure out why people screw their insurance companies when they can. Well now I know. They are a bunch of ethic-less, principle-less bastards. So go for it, screw them when you can for all you can. You can be assured they will do it to you first wether you are honest or not.""

Car insurance america?

I'm thinking of going to America for six months and want to buy a car to get about, but insurance is expensive could I get a resident of America to put me on there insurance then insure themselves on the car I just bought. Is this possible? If not any suggestions would be amazing thanks I'm from UK and 22""

I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?

Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???

Whats a cheap major health insurance plan?

im paying way too much right now and need a cheaper plan

What is the best health insurance plan for INternational students who are IN USA?

Hello there ,what is the best health insurance plan for International students who are in USA. If it helps I am currently IN MAryland. Please let me know , would be great if you could provide websites and links as well. Thnaks so much for your assisatnce!""

Car Insurance Question?

I recently had an accident that caused my car to be written off. There have been no problems and I'm now waiting for a cheque from my insurers. My question is this. When the cheque comes and I buy a new car what happens with regard to insurance, will I have to take out a new policy, can I keep the existing policy and add my new car to it, will my monthly payments go up, or none of the above? I'm sure this is very simple for an expert but it confuses the hell out of me.""

Beach Buggy Insurance at 18?

Ok so me and my dad have been working on this unfinished beach buggy project (now almost done maybe a month more). I'am a male student that has just finished my second year of college and have had my licence a little over a year (got my licence at 17 to get it out the way) I have never owned a car/been insured on a car and was wondering what sort of prices it would cost to get insured on a beach buggy at my age, the initial plan was for me to get something like a corsa when im 19 and try get insured on the buggy when im like 21. would anyone even insure a VW beach buggy on an 18 year old without no claims bonus? and if so how much do you think im looking at (if some answers seem reasonable i might call adrian flux to see if i can get a quote""

""Could $5,000 cover the healthcare insurance premium for a family?""

If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the heck out of it? Obviously, it won't have all the bells and whistles, but people would be covered. There is the issue of the tax on the premium, but it still seems like a good idea. This link was interesting - it describes both plans clearly: http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/10/news/economy/tully_healthcare.fortune/""

Insurance for Bentley GTC Continental?

I (sadly) dont have one of my own - yet (im working on it..) Just out of general.Theres another new footballer on the go,hes only 21 & recently purchased a bentley.Approx. for someone in there early 20s how much would insurance cost? (I understand hes a footballer,he earns more a year we all do lol..) Thanx in advance xx""

Does your insurance go up if you get a speeding ticket?

Im 18 but my car and insurance is still under my mom. I dont want her to find out... but will she? Lol. Is there anthing I can do so she wont find out?!? :))

How much is the insurance for a ford mustang?

for a teen girl driver thats 15 with a permit

How long does it take for insurance rates to go up after getting speeding ticket?

how long does it take for your insurance rates to get affected if you get a speeding ticket.. does it apply right away or do i have time to go to traffic school.. and if i go to traffic school will all evidence of there ever been a ticket disappear?

How would you fix health care in the US?

I feel good and bad about this law. I'm conservative. I don't entirely agree with the law. But it's good that people are able to get on an affordable insurance plan if they have a pre-existing condition rather than being left out to die. But what about the people who are getting kicked off insurance plans and now have to pay even higher rates than they already were? I get a subsidy for my plan. I don't feel like I deserve it. I saw a lady on the news who had cancer and couldn't get insurance. I feel like she is the one who deserves a subsidy so she can get a plan. How do you feel about this law? And what happens if a Republican gets into office or they control the legislative branch in 2014 and repeal the law? Then what?

How much does it usually cost to insure a big (600cc and above) motorcycle?

How about a 250cc? Or does it depend on the type of bike I have?

Health insurance for dependent parent?

Am I correct that I cannot add my dependent parent to my health insurance plan at work And my dependent parent who lives in my household and has no income of their own cannot qualify for medicaid because of my income level?When applying for medicaid they ask for the household income not just the applicants income.If this is the case it is a very unfair situation for adult children who support their dependent parent.Whats even stranger is I was told that if I had a gay live in partner they could be added to my health ins policy? BUT not a parent? Is this really true?

RX-8 annual insurance cost?

So I'm 18 and male, just got my license and need to buy a car soon. Set my sights on an 04 RX-8, but I need to know if I could afford the insurance. I have no accident history (obviously) would be primarily commuting about 15 miles a day, and would go LIABILITY ONLY on my parents' plan. GUESTIMATES WOULD BE APPRECIATED AS WELL AS WHAT YOU PAY FOR YOUR RX-8!! Spank you bunches""

""I haven't had car insurance for the last 8 years, am I going to pay high rates?""

I've lived in the city since 2002 and haven't owned a car. I'm now moving out, and will need a car once again. Does this mean I'm going to pay high rates, or it won't matter?""

How can I lower my car insurance if it is high because of bad credit?

I have been told that my car insurance is high because of a bad credit rating. I am currently enrolled in a DMP to pay down some credit cards and I'm sure this is why it is so bad. Will any insurance company work with me to lower my rate? I currently have GEICO insurance bc it was the lowest I could find. I lease my car and always make my car and insurance payments on time.

Will motorcycle insurance be expensive for me I'm 19?

I'm nineteen year old and had my license since April 2011, I have a 93 Nissan 300ZX and it gets 18mpg city so I want a small motorcycle used. I was wondering around how much insurance will be for me if I get one? I have no points on my license I'm clean""

""Closing on a house, need the title insurance?""

So far this home buying process has been hell, and I am ready to close this month rather than next month... But our broker said, to close by the end of July, it depends on when they recieve the title insurance... Everything is done on our end, basically we are just waiting on the sellers to do their part... Could it really take longer than a month to get the title insurance? And, what is title insurance? Thanks in advance""

California Temporary Driver's License?

I'm 20 years old and have a valid UK driver's lisence. As I am now living in California, I was given a 'California Temporary Driver's License'. This expired yesterday but I have my behind the wheel test on Monday (12/7/09). Is this expiration going to be an issue? I did mention it at the DMV office, but the woman just ignored my question as if it was stupid and continued to book my test. Surely it means I am not licensed to drive a vehicle on my test date? Also, the car I will be driving is fully insured by someone I live with, and it is her name that is on the insurance documents. The policy insures anybody with a valid license- can I use this for the test providing it passes all their other requirements referred to on their website? Thank you in advance for any help. I have searched through all DMV related sites but this issue is never addressed.""

Do you have to report a DUI to the car insurance company?

My friend got a DUI not too long ago. This is the state of Florida, and she has Allstate. I understand that her getting a DUI is now public records because she spent the night in jail. Because the fact that it's public records now, is she required to inform her Allstate insurance company about her DUI? Also, what will happen either way whether she reports it to insurance company or not? Will they remove her from her insurance or jack up the rates? It is her FIRST DUI and other than that she has a good driving record. Thanks.""

If i use third party Car insurance do i build up an insurance record?

Hey, i'm looking at buying a first car, however quotes for Comprehensive insurance are up over $2,000, but i want to build up an insurance record. Does using third party cover build me up an insurance record, or do i need comprehensive insurance? cheers""

Im going to be in Wisconsin my friend has a car for me..can i get insurance to cover me there?

Im going to wisconsin for their summer and my friend im staying with has a car i can use for the period im there. im 21 is there a way for me to get covered by insurance for the 4 months im there? Im from New Zealand. Thanks

""IMPORTANT: Young, pregnant, no money! Any advice on how I wil get by?

I am 24 and pretty sure that I am pregnant (will be going to the doctor on monday to verify). I don't make a lot of money and I was wondering how other women have done it. In my head it seems impossible to afford a child. Advice please.

""If I do not have health insurance in Fremont, California, and I want to deliver a baby?""

how do I deliver it with low income, also, if you are going to suggest Tri City, is that good, what are your experiences with that place? I think it is Tri Shitty. Also, what else do you suggest besides Tri City? Please help me I am one month pregnant and need to figure out where to deliver a baby Also, I just wanted to mention if you are pregnant and applying for health insurance do not tell them that you are, they refuse you flat, just tell your doctor the truth about your missed period date at your first appointment, fight with this backwards health insurance country""

Will My Car Insurance Go Up?

My wife scrapped the side of our SUV against the wall coming out of the garage. I would like to get it fixed through our insurance since the damage is more that $500 deductible. Do you think my insurance will go up if I make this insurance claim?

What cars are there that are decent but cheap on insurance for first time drivers? (male)?

i don't care on what the car is as long as its reliable. even if it looks like a shed. i have a motorbike for looks and pleasure with 2 years no claims if that makes a difference i don't know. cheers.

I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?

Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???

How much was your insurance for your first 125cc motorbike?

So im 19 years old and got my CBT test passed and i am getting a Honda CBF125 brand new for 2400 and it will be locked away in a garage at night i live in a low crime area aswell and im looking for comprehensive insurance and im using price comparison websites and im getting quotes at nearly 800-900. Was anyone else getting quotes this high when they got there first insurance? And where is the best place to get quotes?

Car Insurance for a 16 year old in California?

I am gonna get either a Used 03-04 Nissan 350z and would like to get a rough estimate of how much insurance is gonna cost. Thanks in advance. Also what would happen to my insurance if the car is on a salvage title?

Buying Car Insurance?

Looking to buy a car next week, but i have not owned a car before and have no insurance. Is there something i can do before i go to the dealership that will allow me to drive the car off the lot? Ie. can i somehow buy insurance before buying the car (even if i do not know make or model? (I should also mention that i will want to register the car in CT and purchase in NJ, if that's possible.)""

Are custom orthotics covered by health insurance?

I heard getting a pair is expensive but i need them for running uninjured

How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?

How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?

Does Geico Car insurance cover Rental Cars?

Does Geico car insurance cover rental cars? Or does it JUST cover your car that you have insured w. them?

Car accident without insurance?

So today I rear ended a 2011 Honda Civ, a small strach [sp], some paint missing and a possible dent. My car on the other hand suffered some significant damage. Now as we were preparing to exchange info, I find out my car doesn't have insurance (its my parents and I wasn't informed) and I told her I will pay for damages and apologized, etc. Now I asked how much would it cost, etc. Her insurance company told her I would have to pay $20+ per day for her rental car how ever many days its in the shop. That I can handle. But say worse case scenarios: How much would it cost to replace a back bumper for a 2011 honda civ? Or to fix a dent, color, paint, etc? Has this happened to anyone else without insurance, etc?""

What is the average car insurance for an 18 year old male who is just starting to drive?

I just want to know how much car insurance will cost me i know a lot has to do with the cost such as what type of car and such. I want an estimate because no insurance website has a quote for new drivers.

Can i get insurance just to do a title transfer??

i just sold my truck which i took the insurance like 4 months ago since i didnt drive it, and to get the title signed and notarized so i can sell it i have to have insurance. can i get like temporary insurance just to do that? how much is it?? thanks!""

Do you need insurance for permit in ca?

I am going to get my provisional driver license in california. Do i need to get it before i take the drive test? aM i covered under parents policy? How long do i have to have my insurance before im eligible to get my driver license?

How much would i pay for insurance?

I want to buy an 2010 Nissan Cube, around 14,000 new and im 17, living in Ct. I was wondering how much i would pay for insurance, if its too much what other car should i get, i want to get a new car so can any one help me, my grades aren't too good, i would pay for it my self and i can afford about 150 a month since ill be paying 184 a month for the car with 60 months and 3000 down.""

I need cheapest auto insurance?

I am 17 years old, and i need an auto insurance that costs around $100-150 per month. i cannot afford higher than that.""

Auto Insurance question...?

If my teen neighbor (with a licence)borrowed my car and he/she wrecked it, would my insurance cover it? If so, why do teens that are driving, have a licence, have to be covered on parents insurance if they are driving their parents car? Isn't the car already covered by insurance? Why do I have to pay insurance on my teen and not my neighbor?""

I'm looking for affordable health care insurance plan in Texas?

I'm looking for no more than $5000 deductible around $300 to $400 a month for 1 primary and 2 dependents. And the insurance has to cover some of outpatient and inpatient as my son has asthma. Please any help I can't find anything online.

What is the cost of Home Owner's Insurance?

I'm going to be buying a home and would like to know if anyone knows what the approximate cost would be for HO Insurance? I already have Renter's Insurance, and would like to know if the price difference is dramatic or not. The home is 1902squ. feet, 4 bedroom, built in 2006,I am purchasing the home for just under $100,000, it is worth a lot more than that, as its a foreclosure.""

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

Which is the Best Health Insurance Policy available for Individuals in India?

So far I have learnt that LIC health plus is a pretty good policy. and http://sunilrams.blogspot.com has really given in detail the comparisons . Are there any better policies in the Indian Market for individuals.

The cheapest car insurance for first time drivers?

looking to get my own car soon and trying to my license I am 24 yrs old and just starting to figure stuff out for myself and wanted to know whats the cheapest car insurance

Motorbike insurance help!!!!!!?

hello im wanting to get a Suzuki bandit 600cc and get it restricted to 47bhp and practice on it with a bike instructor then do my test on it but every online insurance compare site i put my details in it don't come up with a single quote any one no whats goin on please lol

Cheapest car insurance company?

im switching car insurance companies. where will i get the cheapest price?

What happens after i complete traffic school for a speeding ticket?

I'm 17. I got a speeding ticket in February, payed it in March, and finished traffic school this month. I went to take my traffic school certificate this week. Does this mean it is cleared? I live in California? I'm wondering because I'm trying to get an insurance rate and it asked if i ever got a ticket.?""

Where do i get health insurance if i am a student in school?

i am a student 22 years old. i need affordable health insurance. i have no job. i think i am going deaf and blind. where can i get insurance in washington state?

Really really cheap drift car with cheap insurance?

I'm soon going to be buying a car to do up with a good mate and his grandad who owns a garage, my friend already owns a car and we've decided that one day we're going to take them out and learn to drift (dw this wont be on the roads). We're going to be doing it often and so it has to be atleast half decent and its going to be my everyday car. So i'm looking for a good drift car to do up for under 500 (obviously going to be breaking and second hand) to do up and drift better than my mates car. Oh and insurance under 2000 would be best considering i'll Only be 17! Thanks alot Bilbo baggins""

How do insurance companies classify sports cars?

I plan on buying a scion tc, but I want to know if state farm considers this a sports car. and if so, how much will more will insurance cost? I am a teenager, so i know it will be high to begin with, but will having a sports car make it much higher?""

How would would car insurance be for a new driver in Rhode Island?

The car i'm getting is a pontiac grand prix, its older like 94 I think. I got my licence a few months ago, but i'm 20 years old. I haven't taken any driving classes or anything like that though. I'm just wondering if anyone knows about how much it would be so I know beforehand.""

I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?

Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more.    i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not-    Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure.    What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/business-insurance-quotes-maryland-francis-charlson/"

[samanthasroberts]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[adambstingus]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163070503847

[allofbeercom]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[ionqins]

170525 EXO’rDIUM in NY/NJ fan account

tl;dr: don’t camp out if you want to enjoy the concert.

before i jump into the actual concert day, here’s a summary of the announcement and ticketing extravaganza.

so mymusictaste (mmt) officially announced exo’s “north american” tour in ny and la on feb 9. they also announced that “makers” got to buy their tickets during the presale before the general public and also get 10% off their ticket (1 ticket per maker). “makers” are people who had gone onto mmt’s official site before ~9pm feb 9 (up until about one hour after mmt posted their announcement), made a (free) account, and clicked on the “make” button for exo in ny 2017. 

immediately, there was an uproar from fans- on how the whole makers getting a presale is unfair, on how soon the tickets are going on sale, and on how exo isnt going to nearly as many stops as last year. atlanta fans were especially upset because their city had one of the highest “makers” from last year - which was supposedly what mmt uses to decide which cities to hold concerts in - and mmt skipped atlanta both last year and this year. mmt, of course, stayed mute to all the complaints thrown at them, as they always do.

fast-forward to ticket presale day. my sister and i were ready with our 7 devices on ticketmaster, waiting for a bloodbath and not taking any chances, seeing our exo ticketing experience last year- standing ga ended up being ordered by ticketing number rather than fcfs, something mmt didnt clarify until after the sales. this year, the entire presale ended up being anti-climatic. fans found (supposedly from mmt’s site) that about ~3k fans were “makers” but it seemed like barely a few hundred made any dent on the presales. ga was wide open and the only really popular sections were the closest seated rows.

a few days later, the general sales opened up and the ~10k venue ended up selling about half the seats, a number that didnt really increase drastically after the first day of sales.

and fans blamed the poor ticket sales on mmt’s lack of promotion (but they promoted the same way as they did for last year’s sold-out show) or the concert being on a weekday (but so was bts’s sold out show a month prior) or expensive tix for no fan interaction (again, last year’s show had the same situation) or the presales discouraging non-makers to buy tix (but they literally had to take 30sec and navigate to the ticketing page to realize that presales barely did anything) or exo not going to as many stops as last year (i truly don’t understand how this is an excuse for lack of sales- shouldnt fewer stops mean more packed venues for the existing stops? specifically, northeast coast fans wouldve still had prudential center to fill up).

the real reasons for low sales were: 1- exo’s decreasing popularity in the US- it’s embarassing to see how exo fans refuse to see this fact. fandoms rise and fall, it’s the circle of life and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. exo may have been one of the more popular - if not the most popular - kpop concert act (i say this instead of simply “kpop act” because big bang is still the most popular household name) in the states, but there’s a new lion in town.

2- speaking of lions, bts’s tickets went on sale long before exo’s was, and most fans are younger and wouldnt be able to afford two concerts within a month of each other. but going back to point 1, im gonna go out on a limb here and say that even if these announcements/concerts were chronologically flipped, bts still would have sold out, just as they sold out every single other venue in their entire wings tour. and exo would still have a visible number of emptiness in their concert. the amount of negativity (“exo will never come to the states again”, “american exo fans are terrible”, telling fans to give their tickets away for free if they can’t make it - this was the biggest wtf moment i had during the ticketing experience. how about /you/ buy a $200 ticket and donate it to a fan?) leading up to the concert was appalling. i wish american exo fans start taking these experiences on a positive note and enjoy everything to the fullest while it lasts, instead of acting whiny and immature and blaming the organizers for the fandom’s own lackings. onto the actual concert experience. both my sister and i worked until regular hours the day before the concert, so we left home at around 7pm and drove up to the venue close to 11pm. the line was already at least 15+ tents and about 100 people from what we could see. i dropped my sister off with her sleeping bag and parked/checked in at the hotel we were staying at about a 10 minutes-walk away. i walked back to the venue (definitely sketchy neighborhood, would not rec to walk alone at night if you dont want to be cat-called). i brought a duffle bag and smuggled out a hotel pillow and towel, along with some food, water, a portable charger, and two umbrellas. it was only somewhat chilly (lows of 50s) but the rainy weather forecast was what worried us the most. i camped out for a few hours and then walked back to the hotel around 2am (again, would not rec) since i hadnt bought a sleeping bag and the cold was getting to me. i slept until 4am and then checked on the sis, and then slept again until 7:30am. /aside/ i was supposed to wake up at 6am and switch places with my sister but my phone alarm apparently doesnt go off when it’s in the ultimate power save mode, aka i was a terrible person and had my sister waiting for over an hour out in the cold and rain /end aside/ it had been constantly drizzling all night, with some wind to add to the chill. i took some hotel breakfast to-go and walked back to the venue to see everyone’s pale and lifeless faces. the number of people in front of us had doubled to about 200 overnight so that was just excellent. my sister looked like a wreck so i sent her back to the hotel to get some actual shut-eye while i held the fort. mmt had said they’ll start wristbanding the ga line at 10am, to create a numerical order for when we go in. so my sister comes back at 9:30am and we wait. and wait. and enjoy the torrential downpour of rain that nj so graciously gave us. around 11am some staff comes out and tells us they wont be wristbanding until 1:30pm. so then my sister goes back to the hotel, hoping she could sleep this time. shortly after 12, another staff member comes out and tells us they’ll start wristbanding soon so get your tickets ready. panicking, i call my sister half a dozen times and finally get a sleepy response. she runs back just in time to witness the mess mmt will create with this wristbanding process. now logically, mmt staff should have gone down the line of campers and given out these numerical wristbands in the order that we had already put ourselves in. but did they? of course not, why would mmt ever be logical? so some staff up at the very front of the line yelled for us to stand up and make /another line/ in front of them, about 5 feet away from our original line. as expected, an absolute stampede of fans followed. fans who were behind us ran up in front of us, and fans who were originally in front of us were no longer there if they had temporarily left the line right before for a bathroom or coffee break. the “line” we had made wasn’t exactly a line, either, but more of a hoarde. in my haste i had forgotten my phone at our camping site, but my sister was nice enough to go back and get it while i held our place in this new standing line (my phone was undamaged but our sleeping bag and most of our food was crushed). so mmt made us wait standing in this new line for another hour before they actually began coming down and putting our wristbands on. they then told us that we can leave this line if we want but that putting ourselves in order again will ultimately be up to us and that they “won’t be held accountable” if people cut us or if we can’t get back in the same order. so literally :) what is the point :) of this new line and the wristbands then :) the merch line was supposed to open up at 1pm but since nothing ever happens on time with mmt, we should’ve known. i stood in the wristband line while my sister went to the other side where the merch line was. she comes back around 3:30pm with the lightstick. then i decide to go back to the hotel to drop off our remaining stuff so we could go into the pit with no bags. i also leave our umbrellas, which later turned out to be a mistake. at 4pm i get a text saying that mmt decided us standing in line wasnt enough, they wanted to barricade us so we’d feel like canned fish. the wind is howling by this time, and the temperatures had dropped to what it was the night before. it also started raining again. i walk back and was allowed to jump the barricade once one of the fans we were standing with yelled “sister!” these were the fans who were in line since the night before (with a sprinkling of fans who cut in line earlier that morning), so they meant business when someone requested to get back in line. so here we stand, squished like sardines as the weather gets more chilly and windy. and then it begins to rain, of course. i had left our umbrellas at the hotel so we wouldnt have to carry anything into the pit but that was a grave mistake. we all tried to huddle under the nearest umbrella that we could, but the winds blew the rain every which way so nearly everyone was soaked in the end. someone behind us was nice enough to give us plastic trash bags, which we made holes into to wear like ponchos. it was 5pm, then 6pm, when we could see staff inside spreading out carpets and then standing around. then 6:30 came, one hour before the concert and supposedly the time when doors open. but open they did not. after a few people called the venue, we were notified that there was “production issues” so we won’t be let in until 7pm. some assumed there was a previous event for which they had to clean up, others thought there was something wrong with exo’s stage, itself. many of us, including me, were shivering non-stop by this point. but we didnt have any other choice but to wait. 7pm comes by, and the doors were still shut and the staff inside still in their place. more phone calls later and again we learn that opening the doors is delayed by another half hour to 7:30. aka when the concert should have begun. between 7 and when they finally let us in at around 7:45, there were at least four people who either fainted or had panic attacks and had to be ushered inside (after fans had to continuously bang the windows to get the staff’s attention- and no, we weren’t just impatient to get let in so please come outside smh). 7:45 and we’re inside. i’m still wet and shivering and too cold to take off my jacket and put it over the railing as i had planned. my friend was near the back of the ga line and she barely made it in when the concert began at 8:25, one hour after the advertised time. the concert was a blur, to be honest. this has to be the first time i yawned during a concert, and that, too, several times. most of the fans around me were equally tired. i had gone to the exoluxion concert at the same venue a year prior, and the difference in energy was striking. (with exoluxion, mmt had us lined up by ticket number so there was no camping out needed, no bad weather, and no one-hour delay). exo was fantastic, and despite their jetlag they were giving it their all. they made a few funny mistakes here and there but they just laughed it off and continued. the remixed versions of their older songs were very neat and i loved the upgraded pyrotechnics this year. i stood near the side of the stage where kai (ofc), chen, kyungsoo, and suho showed up the most. not to be biased but kai actually stole the show. being his usual self he gave each dance move his 110% and his smiles were absolute killer. his hair was also glorious, good goly what a mane. overall i did enjoy the concert. exo themselves put out a wonderful show, and sme provided a beautiful stage to watch the glory in. i just wish i had been awake to appreciate the boys more after waiting to see them for so long.