#it doesn't matter for lbh. he will find a way

[dick-the3rd]

(I forgot about the damn tag limit and now I'm too lazy to write all of that here. fuck. another day I'll edit this into something more coherent)

[there's a door in front of him. He stands there, trying to sense shizun. He wonders if he should maybe knock. Or is the door open? Could he just enter? Just before his knuckles hit the wood the door opens and a smaller man runs into him.

It's his husband. It's the most beautiful man he ever saw.

Later, they'll discover it took a giganimous amount of power for SY emotions to be broadcast across universes. And the only reason lbh was able to find him it's because sy giving up on lbh was the most painful and heartwretching thing he ever did.

Trusting and hoping came easily to him, but giving up? it felt like it would kill him. ]

You know when in svsss fics, Shen Yuan wakes up from a coma after returning back to the modern world? What if he was in a coma long enough for his hair to grow pretty long, like past his ears. What if he lets it grow longer. What if he grows out his hair so that he can have something to remind himself it was real. What if time passes, and his hair is to his shoulders, his family suggests he cut it, but he refuses. He's growing it out so it won't be strange for Binghe when he comes to get him. Because he will. He always does. Time goes on, his hair is down to the end of his rib cage. Binghe is still not there. His hair has grown past his hips now, so long he needs to move it when he sits down. He's starting to lose hope, frowning at the few grey hairs he starts growing as he approached his 30s. His family is worried for him, thinking he's falling into depression. They ask him to see a therapist, but the therapist can't do anything to "fix" him either. So he waits. And waits. He waits for a sign it wasn't all a dream, that his imagination didn't just come up with someone as wonderful as his husband. He reads articles on how people dreamt of having whole other lives while in a coma, only to wake up and grieve the people that never were. He braided his hair, surely, that wasn't it. He doesn't think he believes himself anymore. He decides, one day, he's going to cut his hair. He schedules an appointment, gets ready to head out. He opens his door and—

—and he runs into someone's chest.

[tk-duveraun]

Idk I just really want SY overwhelmed with guilt for taking SJ's life and going through hell to bring him back ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Maybe a no-system AU where SY has a full melt down on day one right all over YQY because *he didn't want this*. He didn't want to kill someone else just so he could have a second life.

MQF world be called in and suspect SJ just has a mental break or something, since that's far more likely than this soul usurpation, but YQY overrules him bc there's no way this is SJ no matter how addled

Bonus points if airplane DOES have a system and is sweating bullets throughout all of this.

Maybe LQG gets sent with SY to find whatever plot device while YQY keeps up appearances and LQG falls for this wet dog of a man who just bleeds self sacrifice.

Eventually they get back to the sect and SY is waiting while they prepare a ritual or whatever and goes "oh shit, wait, the protagonist???" And is like "hello, you're my child now. Liu-gege, help me raise my child"

SJ comes back, pissed, SY is a spiritual creature of some sort (Empty Blossom of Moonlit Purity? Withers instantly on contact with demonic qi). SJ is talked down from vengeance since SY did immediately try (and did manage) to save him.

SY just takes LBH with him to go live on BZ.

SJ and YQY have a knock down drag out fight about how dare YQY save his life this time. How stupid is he to bring back a critical weakness? SJ ends up injuring YQY pretty seriously (since he's not even trying to defend himself) and YQY confesses that SJ is with more than his own life and always has been.

(SJ now has no idea why Qige never saved him, still doesn't know about Xuansu, but there is some reconciliation)

(meanwhile poor Binghe is like "withers on contact? 🥺")

(if SY consumes the Sunlit Flower of Balance he loses that weakness, which he does, but then forgets to mention. So he goes traveling to observe demonic beasts and gives everyone stress ulcers)

[lacamorte]

~ if you're gonna be the death of me

(in for a long and suuuuper messy one today, folks, pls bear with me)

In the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way, the Protagonist is Luo Binghe, destined to battle and conquer and eternally emerge victorious against all he raised his blade against.

Shen Qingqiu is the Calamity, whose meridians are so tangled and damaged that he drains the life force of all he touches. He will bring the world to an end.

aka: PIDW is not a stallion novel, but rather a power-of-friendship story where the main antagonist is SQQ who, as one of the most powerful cultivators, has a qi deviation so terrible that he almost ends the world until LBH kills him.

So when SY transmigrates into SQQ, he thinks about the role he has to play as SQQ, the Calamity. The thought of hurting anyone in Cang Qiong makes him sick to his stomach. He almost enters a qi deviation at the thought, and has to enter seclusion in the LingXi Caves to stabilize himself. After preventing LQG's death, he decides to go to great lengths to not stress himself out. Thus, he concludes that in order to achieve a stress-free life, he has to leave Cang Qiong.

Brilliant idea! Except, when SY goes to Qiong Ding to speak to YQY about his retirement, YQY blatantly refuses him. SY tries again the next day, but he's refused every time. The Sect Leader, who used to seek out SQQ often, miraculously began avoiding him.

Well. SY has always been better at asking for forgiveness than permission.

He leaves the sect in the middle of the night, with all the documents for his resignation on his desk. He becomes a wandering cultivator, evading cqm's every attempt to bring him back.

Furious at his behavior, the System figures that if telling SY no won't stop him, perhaps showing him how hopeless the situation is will. And so during his time away, SY tries again and again to resist the plot. again and again, the System foils his every attempt. its favorite method is isolating SY — anyone the man wants to befriend always mysteriously ends up suffering or dying. SY had always loved PIDW for the beauty of its world — he'd never anticipated how witnessing it all alone after weeks of camaraderie and laughter for companh could be so harrowing.

he never finds out whether it was all because of his role as the Calamity, or the interference of the System. that damned thing stopped speaking to him ages ago.

LBH is a kid roaming the streets freshly bereaved when he meets SY, a gaunt looking man who gives him his food. eventually, LBH starts trailing SY, and SY tries to dissuade him, but he persists. whenever SY switches towns, LBH follows. he sometimes catches a man wearing white talking to SY, and every time the man leaves, looking more stony than when he arrived. LBH develops a habit of stealing some food for SY, and SY scolds him but LBH wont take no for an answer and they compromise by splitting the food between them. eventually LBH gets into serious trouble when he gets caught stealing and SY saves him. SY is remarkably quiet as he gently pats LBH's head as he cries.

eventually, SY stops trying to convince LBH to stop following him. instead of camping out in the forest, SY enters inns and makes LBH take the bed. this is how LBH learns that SY is actually loaded. but then if he's so rich, why does he never buy himself food? inedia can only sustain someone for so long. turns out, the only meals SY has are the ones LBH steals for him, and even those he tries to turn down. so at the inn, LBH insists on splitting everything in the meal SY gets him.

the white robed man visits again, and LBH is wary of him bc of how gruffly he speaks to SQQ. still, no matter how gruff he might be, SQQ is far more uncooperative. in all the time LBH has known him, he typically responds in one word only, often not replying to anything he doesn't consider particularly important, which is most things. the white robed man asks that question again — why? the same one he's been asking every visit. SQQ stares at him soullessly, before suddenly reaching out and patting the man's head.

"i'm sorry," he whispers. somehow, LBH thinks both he and the white robed man will never get the answer to that question.

as SQQ spaces out again, as he often does, the man drags LBH outside and LBH is of course wary and fights back. that is, until the man lets go of him and tosses him a particularly sturdy branch, a similar one held in his own hands.

"hit me," he says. LBH stares, incredulous. he throws the stick at the man, who deflects it and it whacks LBH square in the face. this ignites his anger and he spends the rest of the afternoon trying to land a hit on LQG.

then, when LBH finally collapses from exhaustion, the man gives him a waterskin.

"same place, same time, tomorrow." he says.

"fuck you," LBH swears hotly. he does turn up the next day. he leaves with more bruises than the day before, and a bag full of clothes to replace the ones the man rips on accident.

this becomes routine. one that LBH begrudgingly look forward to, bc these days, the only time SQQ looks anything other than disinterested and aloof is when he's treating his wounds. most of the time he just glowers and frowns, but when LBH is lucky, he can get a few angry mutters about "stupid liu qingge" and "careless brute".

so the next time LBH goes to the site, he has a name to cuss out. he leaves with more bruises, and SQQ has never had more to say.

LBH doesnt think much of it until he finds himself supporting SQQ on one of his missions, when he can stand on equal footing with the monsters his master battles on the regular. when SQQ looks at him, he looks annoyed.

"now i have to get you a sword," he grumbles. LBH feels bad until SQQ spends 5 hours going through each and every little tidbit and detail about his commission with the blacksmith, whos all but ecstatic to craft a blade for the mysterious cultivator who solves any problem in exchange for concealing his presence. at least, that's all SQQ asks for, but the residents eventually learned that its easier to dump the gold and fruits and furs onto the cultivator's little disciple with the sparkling eyes. they'd tried complying with SQQ's request to keep his whereabouts a secret at first, but after seeing how LQG trailed after SQQ like a particularly lost, particularly strong puppy, they couldn't help but make an exception for him.

idk what happens exactly, but i do know i want LBH to grow up and become a strong disciple under SQQ's tutelage. he wants to prove himself to his Shizun during the immortal alliance conference, and rife with resignation and a mourning LBH will never understand, SQQ agrees and they go. and when the demon invasion happens, the peak lords happen to be confronting SQQ, and he stays silent as they yell at him, demanding an explanation.

that is, until SQQ reaches out to touch one of the beasts leaping towards him—

—and it disintegrates into dust beneath his touch.

"a demon will become the hero," he murmurs. "and a human, the villain."

in the end, the System really did manage to teach him a lesson.

i think ill make it so the endless abyss is sort of ecstatic to be so close to the Calamity — the excitement of which unlocks LBH's demon inheritance. in the og novel, SQQ sent down LBH. Here, SY takes his face in his hands, tenderly wipes the demon mark from his forehead and conceals it, and chooses to go down to the abyss. LBH cries out, cries his shizun's name —

but when SQQ turns around to look at him, LBH's breath is caught in his throat.

'that is not my Shizun,' his heart whispers traitorously. his Shizun had been stoic and quiet, yes, but his eyes always held something unyielding.

yet when SQQ looks at LBH, LBH sees something broken. LBH sees something turned to dust, something withered, something as fleeting as a dream.

LBH wonders how someone alive could look so dead. in the end, SQQ turns around, and falls into the abyss.

not understanding, and not wanting to risk telling people what happened, LBH tells everyone SQQ was dragged into the abyss... and likely dead. it's a lie he tells so many times he begins to believe it himself.

in the end, LQG has to drag LBH to bai zhan peak kicking and screaming. it's weeks before LBH can do anything besides scream, cry or hurt. he can't even eat without insisting on giving it to his Shizun, or making tea in case he comes back. in his grief, LBH becomes a model member of BZP, and while his sect siblings don't understand the gloom that clings to him, they see his resolve and respect it immensely.

to honor SQQ's memory, LBH goes around various towns helping the hungry and the needy. he plays SY's guqin — he can't play quite as well as SY, but that might be bc he can't stop himself from crying every few notes — and he spars with LQG. maybe they bond over their shared grief. maybs bingliushen, idk. maybe LBH believed SY dead until LQG gave him a look and said "he's alive." something about the cold certainty in his voice, as if it couldn't be anything but the truth, helps strengthen LBH.

LBH befriends LMY when she finds one of the poems MQF asked him to make for his 'therapy'. he befriends NYY when he helps her take care of the garden that SQQ apparently left behind when he left CQM. he even befriends YQY, who seems to find comfort in the presence of someone mourning as much as him. no one can deny LBH, not when his fumbling with formalities juxtaposes so beautifully with his perfect tea brewing, not when the food he makes particularly well match the tastes of the qing jing peak lord exactly, not when his less than ideal upbringing doesnt conceal how he is so clearly SQQ's.

no one can say no to the Protagonist.

there are rumors of HHP investigating abyss rifts. LBH and LQG are cautiously interested, at least, until HHP announces that they've caught a Heavenly Demon. LBH, aware of his heritage, feels like he has to go. YQY, LQG and co. bring him along.

"where do you have him trapped?" YQY inquires.

The HHPM laughs, waving dismissively. "well, in truth, the demon was suppressed by immortal binding cables and some of our best talismans. as long as you don't disturb it, it doesn't bite, so i thought it best to let it roam around. its hardly going anywhere in the state that it's in."

the words spark suspicion amidst the cang qiong delegation. still, nothing prepares them for the tall, lonely figure roaming the gardens, golden ropes binding his wrists like bracelets rather than suppressants.

SQQ won't even look at them.

[larothoughts]

anti-ship adjacent ships: liujiu and qijiu

so there's this weird thing that's happening in svsss of all fandoms that reminds me a lot of voltron's klance and sheith fiasco AKA the formation of what i like to call anti-ship adjacent ships

basically, when someone's favorite ship is more indicative of them being an anti-shipper of another ship.

i've had to start excluding liujiu in my ao3 searches because more often than not, the fics that come up are yqy-bashing and what?? this is svsss, right? mxtx's trashiest, most problematic, harem-bicycle-shen-yuan svsss? what is this moral outrage doing in my degenerate danmei fic space, and why are you mischaracterizing yqy just to make an excuse to hate on him??

i've had a few thoughts on the rising dichotomy of shen jiu sympathizers both validating sj's bad behavior and hating yqy for enabling the same behavior. and then shipping him with lqg because liujiu is 'less toxic.' As an old lady fanfic reader who's trawled through all the godforsaken dead dove ships of the old livejournal kink_meme, i'm writing these out because making sense of things helps me cope and i am too old for this shit

(this is actually more 'why anti-qijiu' word vomit than liujiu specific--it just so happens that so many liujiu fics are bizarrely anti-qijiu.)

narrative reasons for anti-yqy liujiu fic:

aka why an author finds it easier for the plot to bash qi-ge

accepting either romantic or platonic qijiu means trying to fix qijiu. this is hard. yqy and sj already have a proven history of failure, while sj and lqg (aka author's ideal white-knight love interest) would be the perfect do-over. making yqy a clear abusive villain sj must cut off ties with 'for his mental health' solves the problem without having to fix things. it frees the author to write what they thought qi-ge should have done to 'save shen jiu right.'

on the same note, liujiu have nearly no canon crumbs. the author can write them however they want without being constrained by their canon relationship.

why lqg over other possible ships? other than yqy, lqg is one of the few characters with any sort of previous relationship with sj. lqg is canonically hot, has strong (even if negative) feelings towards sj, and has no textual or subtextual canon ship (beyond a one-sided crush on shen yuan, with lbh getting in his way lol.) he is also the same generation as sj and thus avoids any age gap squicks like with sj's other ship partners (looking at you tlj)

yqy is the only person in cang qiong with higher authority than shen jiu. while other peak lords are antagonistic, all are ranked lower and can't get in liujiu's way the same way as yqy can as a sect leader. not even the old palace master has the same power because he's the head of a different sect. so if you really want to write a villain abusing their (implicit) power over shen jiu, yqy is the only one that fits the bill.

lbh, as sj's disciple, does not fit the same abuse of power trope even if he becomes an op demon lord. as for bingjiu, lbh's brand of diabolical stalkerish yandere is so over-the-top it's hard to equate him to any real relationship. it's easier to twist yqy's passivity to villainy because it's closer to reasonable human behavior.

if one is coming from the tgcf fandom, yue qingyuan is the closest junwu-adjacent character in terms of personality and rank (on the surface.) so it's easy to transfer any junwu hate to yqy by giving him all of junwu's worst traits and making him 'junwu-lite'

same thing as above but with mdzs and the lan xichen hate for his inaction regarding his own little meowmeow (jgy).

personal author-reasons for anti-yqy liujiu fic:

aka when the character himself doesn't matter

let's get a silly one out of the way: maybe the author only headcanons top shen jiu and most qijiu has sj being a bottom. lqg gives off better hot twinky bottom energy than submissive-but-still-tops yqy. this does not explain the anti-shipping though.

less silly: an author is projecting either themselves or other people in their real life onto their fic, and changing the character's personalities to match their real life projected counterparts (even if ooc). sj is a clear abuse-survivor insert, which shoe-horns other characters into roles that real people in the author's lives have. i think yqy is often seen as the insert for someone who 'could have helped but didn't.' there are many valid reasons why someone would be more mad at the person who averted their gaze rather than their actual abuser, but that doesn't change the fact that qijiu's relationship in canon is so much more complicated.

(it's easier to hate enablers instead of abusers, because hating abusers and inviting confrontation is dangerous. most of the time, enablers won't hurt you directly. they are the safer person to hate.)

an author thinks they could have saved sj better, that qi-ge had more than enough time to fix things and his failure not to do so must be punished by taking away his sj-simp-card and throwing him into the villain bin. this is similar to the phenomenon where an author hates the wife of canon anime couples b/c the author could clearly wife him better. and then writes a fic bashing said wife.

an author sees a messy relationship and equates messy with abusive. in reality many relationships can be messy but not abusive, messy but still fixable, but due to their personal experiences they see any attempt to do so as toxic. in this scenario yqy is often the abuser-insert and his ooc characterization takes after the author's own abuser.

specifically in fics where lqg has the personality of a cardboard cut-out: using liujiu to tell others they are still pro-ship, when in reality they dislike qijiu for their own reasons (and can't help but write it in their fic). it really reminds me of middle school lol like kids trying to find their identity by hating another identity. the whole 'ew pink is overrated, i hate preps which means i must be a nerdy rebel' and then two years later you realize you're not a nerdy rebel after all, you just based your entire identity on what you thought was the opposite of what you hated.

why i try not to read anti-qijiu liujiu fics:

aka write whatever you want, but sometimes i have to choose not to read

authors can write whatever they want. we're all doing this for free, so it's expected that a lot of fanfic have venting and some self-imposing onto a fictional character. i don't expect authors to NOT put themselves in their fic in some way. at the same time, however, i hope authors are self-aware enough to not bash another character just because that character reminds them of someone irl.

aka i get uncomfortable when i read a fic that has an author's obvious real-person insert. i'm not reading svsss fic anymore, i'm reading the author's version of punishing their abuser using fiction. i love transformative media that adds onto the canon! i love different interpretations even! but i'm here to read svsss? where are the svsss characters??

i'm not into character-bashing in general. i think the point of svsss and all of bingqiu's misunderstandings is the fact that good/evil is not a binary. sy spent the whole series fearing the 'evil' binghe despite the fact that post-abyss binghe was a complex person, causing a chain reaction of disaster. hell, shen jiu is the king of gray characters! he is a scum villain, evil and misunderstood, to be a sj-fan means to understand that no one is entirely good or evil. so it's even more cognitively dissonant when a pro-sj fic is so categorically anti-qijiu, as this often paints sj as good/misunderstood and yqy as bad.

(the only character-bashing i don't care about is the old palace master mxtx clearly wrote him to be bashed so throw him in a fire)

i don't mind liujiu actually, i think the dynamic has potential (see all the sj harem fic i've read lol) but qi-ge is such a big part of sj's character that vilifying/getting rid of him does sj a disservice too? sj has a shit ton of bad coping mechanisms, these aren't going to be magically fixed if yqy gets his limbs chopped off as 'just punishment' (??) for not stopping sj from abusing his own students (????)

in conclusion

there is no point to this rambling, and you don't need to agree with me on anything. these are just thoughts i had when trying to figure out why anti-ship adjacent ships even exist. the moral outrage is giving me war flashbacks of anti-sheith klance fans using their age gap as justification for their own ship, rather than liking klance for... being klance.

(I briefly considered going over all liujiu vs qijiu morality arguments, but if you're an sj fan i feel like morality arguments are pointless. he is an angry feral scum kitten who hits kids, no sj-fan has the moral high ground here.)

it's always unfortunate to see so much anti-shipping spilling into fandom, since by default most of us are living in the fringe minority anyway. further dividing us is just going to sink the whole ocean ala the death of livejournal and chinese ban on ao3. there's no point in ships if there ain't an ocean to sail in! aren't we all here because we are fans of these stories???

bonus

to make up for what must feel like a huge anti liujiu wall of text, here are some of my general thoughts on how their relationship would work. i'm more familiar with sj so most of these are from his pov.

while sj often has schemes upon schemes upon schemes, when it comes to anger/criticism/negativity, he's scathingly honest. lqg, a fellow honest asshole, is often on the same wavelength. once misunderstandings are cleared up and lqg realizes sj will do whatever it takes to protect big bro yqy (and thus the sect), they're able to work together as a ruthless team against cang qiong's enemies.

let's also assume fixing sj's emotional issues stops him from the worst of his scumminess aka whipping his disciples half to death.

teamwork -> enemies to lovers -> only one bed trope???

sj needs someone who will overtly believe in his goodness, and lqg, once he realizes the mistakes in his assumptions, is a loyal wall of support. unlike qi-ge who must always play diplomat, lqg blazes over all social cues. who cares if this looks bad on cang qiong, he'll throw down with anyone if his boo is insulted.

lqg is upfront and honest. there are no hidden plots for sj to be paranoid about in lqg, he's a Good Man through-and-through. if lqg has problems, he'll tell him. if he needs to apologize and sj tells him why, he'll do so. and if sj asks him a question, he'll always do his best to answer.

while lqg knows sj has trauma and a dark past, he will never truly understand what it was like. and that's exactly what sj wants. he likes how lqg knows him more as he is now in the present vs. someone who has lived through the same past. being with him is a reminder that he is now a powerful peak lord, not the starving street rat he once was.

for lqg, sj is like a complex puzzle box. an enigma so outside of his understanding of how the world works, he can't help but be drawn to it. he used to equate scheming with evil, but once he realizes much of sj's scheming was for the good of the sect, he lets himself be impressed by sj's intelligence. the fact that sj became a peak lord from nothing shows a certain type of strength-- and lqg has always appreciated strength.

a big roadblock in their relationship was sj's antagonism towards yqy (their sect leader whom lqg respects.) once qijiu reconcile (or sj stops being so disrespectful to yqy in public) lqg is better able to see him as an ally vs. an enemy.

sj rewards this loyalty by taking care of lqg's hidden enemies, because straightforward brutes are especially susceptible to devious snakes like that. sj would know. whether or not he tells lqg can go either way. he tells lqg if only to stop lqg from hearing it elsewhere and assuming the worst; or he doesn't tell lqg because he knows lqg trusts him and confusing his mind with schemes would just make him grumpy for not understanding.

...even if he's cute when he's grumpy.

[danmeiconfession]

No. I think Shen Yuan never really see these people as people even at the ends of the book. My dude really condemned Shen Jiu a modern man really gave no shit or felt any sorrow towards his enslavement and abuse. I read a fully grown man with modern sensibilities and values watch a child being horrifically abused. A child that was ENSLAVED, restrained, beaten, TORTURED by another man, an OWNER. And I read SY's thoughts on the matter. Read him condemning the child and feeling no horror or disgust at the act of child abuse. He felt nothing regarding the immorality and cruelty of slavery. Hell, When ZZL murdered GYX who was only ever just, kind, and helpful in all his interactions and to SY himself, I was upset SY seemed to feel nothing and felt no censure towards ZZL or sadness or guilt towards GYX who was trying to save him. But I excused it as him having other things to do because maybe for SY, it's easier for him to just push aside feelings over someone's death to focus on other things (though I was unnerved that he never seemed to think of it again or care).

SY intentionally condoned the murder of dozens of individuals to save his own skin, and never wrestled with his conscience over it. While SJ's self-hatred is detrimental to himself and those around him, at least he struggles emotionally and morally with his decisions. He still does them, but at least he doesn't excuse them or not even feel guilt or shame. SY however is completely shameless in doing whatever it takes to live. I honestly find characters like this interesting, but I found SY's character to be lacking because the author wanted him to be a self-centered survivalist while also a sweet, holy mother/mentor figure to LBH. That's a BL trope I usually find tedious and boring, especially because authors never have said overly kind, overly forgiving characters be kind to anyone accept a handful of characters who are plot relevant (sometimes even only the ML or villain) while they treat every other character as air or cardboard.

I was so convinced of SY's point of view on the original characters and novel, that I kept making excuses as SVSS unfolded. When he recounted the scheming and murdering of Sha Hauling in PIDW while fanboying over how excited he was to see her, I excused it as him not realizing the gravity of her crimes when they're committed against living people. And once he decided she wasn't that great and LBH deserved better, I was assured, even though he seemed to only do so because she was rude to himself. When he celebrated O!LBH's torture and mutilation of SJ for bullying him in his teen years and even called for SJ's castration, I excused it because who doesn't want to see an evil pedophile get what they deserve, and fans can get overly enthusiastic sometimes, even if calling for slow, multi-year mutilation and torture is a bit extreme even if LBH is your favorite characte

It seems a lot SJ haters like to excuse LBH's behavior the way they claim SJ fans excuse SJ's. LBH was the poor kid and bullied by kids in the neighborhood, then singled out and bullied at his school, before being treated to the abyss where he utilized the training he received at CQ and his innate demon heritage to establish himself. In PIDW, he proceeds to commit large scale mass murder, borderline genocide, destroy the human realms sects and defenses against spiritual and demonic threats, all why gruesomely maiming, torturing, dismembering, disemboweling, and feeding alive anyone he disliked. Uhhhh... disproportionate, much. Bitch slap and shame people if you want, but O!LBH is a monstrous, self-centered, sadistic freak show. He goes far beyond a victim of abuse reacting with anger and defensiveness. He controls the lives and wellbeing of all the people in the realms, and repeatedly makes time to find enjoyment in the torture, pain, and suffering of others on a scale he had never experienced himself. Meanwhile, SVSS!LBH still decided to start widespread violent capture of cultivators to date Xin Mo while SY was out of the picture only sparing CQ because he knew once SY was brought back, SY would be upset with him if he did. He shows no care for anyone else, human or demon, in the world of SVSS besides SY. His only regards for others are as useful allies and subordinates, enemies, and people he knows SY would lightly scold and admonish him for killing. LBH is fucked up in every universe, whether he gets bullied at school, or his teacher turns him into a live in homemaker.

At best, I could excuse this as SY not seeing other people as actual people. Maybe because he read about them as fictional characters first, he can't fully perceive them as humans, just characters, not as real people like him and SQH. Maybe he made an exception for LBH because LBH is his favorite character. But that care and regard clearly don't extend to anyone else.

I have no idea where people get the idea he sees them as real he doesn't. I couldn't care about a protagonist who didn't react with shock or horror or even just resigned sadness to child slavery. I couldn't give a shit about his romance anymore. I stopped reading. To be clear, I don't hate SY, or even his type of character. I'm just disappointed because I went into SVSS thinking I'd be getting a cute, sweet, slightly stupid, modern nerd flailing though a comedic romance full of ridiculous misunderstandings and pitfalls. It turned out, I got a self-centered, apathetic fanboy simultaneously stalking while trying to avoid and stay on the good side of his mentally unstable, over powered idol. Which I've actually read before too, but at least the author wasn't forcing every other character to remark on how sweet, kind, and good the fanboy who cared about nothing but his favorite character was.

Clearly, his anti-abuse philosophy only extended to LBH and no other child. He felt nothing regarding the immorality and cruelty of slavery." The hypocrisy displayed by SY is astonishing. It's fascinating how SY condemns child abuse, expressing concern for Binghe's mistreatment, yet dismisses Binghe's daily killings over five years to control Xin Mo as a consequence of past abuse. There's an apparent double standard. Moreover, in the same breath, witnessing SJ's appalling abuse, SY downplays its impact, suggesting that SJ's mistreatment doesn't excuse his transformation into a reprehensible individual. SY seems to overlook the scumbag-like behavior, focusing instead on SJ's skills, status, beauty, hard work, and wealth.

Why do people like this character lol?

.

[nyoomerr]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

thank you for thinking of me as a favorite author you'd want to pass this on to <3

right now, i'd probably say the fics that i'm most pleased with are (not in any order outside of "what was published most recently") -

stuffed with fluff (and blood and bones and rage) in which bingge is forced to watch without doing anything as sy critiques and obsesses over his life, eventually becoming obsessed with sy's own obsession of him. i struggle a lot with lbh POVs, and right now, i think this is the best one i've done, so i'm happy :>

raised by winter winds in which a sy that was half-raised by sj grapples with the past affection he's felt for sj pitted against the knowledge that sj has hurt a lot of people, including sy's new favorite manipulative little shidi, lbh. in the past, i've not really bothered to put much effort into writing sj tbh - i've used him as a convenient plot point in binggeyuan's relationship before, but that's about it. this fic i considered it more seriously, and i think sums up all my feelings about sj as a character quite nicely. i ended up rly liking the overall melancholy tone of this fic too :')

if you don't have your own boyfriend, rented is fine in which bingge reverse transmigrates to chase after the "nice" shizun he met... but doesn't recognize sy for who he is, and the misunderstanding is only made worse when sy mistakes bingge for a cosplayer. neither of them realize the truth of the matter until they've grown to care for each other and choose each other regardless. ik that probably no one wants to hear this, but i don't really like "to love another (and to learn yourself)" much anymore 🙈 it's been years since i wrote it, and since then both my writing style and preferences for how binggeyuan are characterized have shifted fairly dramatically. this rent a bingge fic was really satisfying to write as proof to myself that i can write a "bingge finds his own sy" longfic in a way that i do like, now.

i'll be your boy backstage in which a transmigrated-into-an-NPC shen yuan only finds bingge long after the story is over, and after the ge vs mei extra has happened. bingge latches on to sy quickly, but even after he figures it out, sy has very different expectations for what a relationship might look like. the conversation at the end of this fic where sy tries to work through his asexuality with bingge was very cathartic for me. i'd love to one day do a much longer fic in which bingge, who has been taught his whole life that love is expressed through sex, falls for ace!sy and struggles with it. i think it would have to be bingge's pov to be most impactful, though, so i've been putting it off >.>;;

shallow water weather in which mer!binghe joins mer!shen yuan's pod, and as soon as he knows sy has the capacity to genuinely care for him, skips straight from "unfriendly acquaintance" to "courtship partner." i'm a really big fan of creature AUs in which the characters' behaviors are influenced a lot by creature instincts and behavior, so all the mer behavior in this one is super self indulgent hehe

...it's perhaps not a surprise that most of my self favorites are the most recent ones i've written. every step you take is an improvement, etc etc. anyway, thank you again for thinking of me when you sent this ask in, and i apologize for how long it took me to get to it!

[requindeterre]

#bingyuan where Bingge finds a Shen Yuan who doesn't need him. He's financially comfortable, his home and meals are handled by services, he has friends who he chats and meets with regularly.

This version is both the same and worlds apart from the pampered pet who braided LBH's hair

It's disconcerting, his wives and conquests have always needed him in some way. To not have a role he can simply pick up feels unnatural and rings too similar to feeling powerless before the abyss.

There's also the matter of Shen Yuan's kindness and utter lack of expectations. He expects nothing from LBH, doesn't ask for anything but tales of his adventures.

Every time LBH's tried to take up some chore or task to earn his keep he's been gently reminded that there's no need

Shen Yuan likes him and his company but he doesn't NEED him and it's driving Luo Bingge crazy

[tcfactory]

Do you wanna talk more about og! Moshang? You seem to wanna talk about og! Moshang (not blaming you, they are a very good flavor of interesting) (about your stick-mobei au or in general. Pretty please both)

Okay, so. First of all og!SQH is a very competent sneaky snake of a man and by the time he meets young MBJ he's already an inner disciple - one getting walled by people with more family contacts with him, but hey, still doing fine in this scheming business. He's not in the doomed party of outer disciples, he's the one who is sent to check what the fuck is taking them so long. He finds the injured MBJ a day or two later, after discovering that the outer disciples are all dead, and startles the injured demon into teleporting them both somewhere. He recognizes the merit of making an alliance with MBJ (partially motivated by not knowing for sure if he can take MBJ in a fight or not) so in exchange for treating the demon's injury he will help him become peak lord.

They don't really interact all that closely while SQH is still with the Sect, because he has the good sense to establish proper boundaries so they are not discovered, but they begrudgingly respect each other. SQH gives good information, MBJ pulls off the attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference without a hitch (doesn't feel the need to oversee it personally because he's doesn't feel terribly worried about SQH's safety) and things go on in more or less a normal vein. SQH has already internalized that on An Ding, disciples will just assassinate each other and die in random horrible ways because that's just life, so he's not outwardly broken up about losing disciples. HHP are desperately pointing fingers all over the place to save face, so his 'aberrant' reaction gets scrutinized until he has to flee and join MBJ full time.

og!MBJ isn't as secure in his position because og!SQH is not Airplane to hand him all the plot devices laying around, but he has an appreciation for SQH so he keeps him around in a right hand man/personal retainer/personal servant capacity because that's how he can keep him safe the best and SQH absolutely resents him for this, actually. He fought really hard to be a peak lord and now he's a demon prince's glorified butler!

Still, over time they are slowly getting to know and trust each other and grow to have an appreciation for the other (they fall into bed every now and then, no strings attached except for all the strings they have wrapped around each other already because for MBJ SQH is the safest option and SQH doesn't have anyone else willing and he's pent up, all right?) - might even develop into a proper relationship given a few more decades if not for LBH. LBH who comes out the Abyss waving around Xin Mo, who's too powerful for MBJ to fight without his ancestral power, LBH who looks at SQH and sees red at the reminder of CQMS. He tolerates SQH while it suits him, while he can use his information to get his hands on SQQ, but when SQQ is safely strung up in the dungeons and he has a solid political backing by having HHP wrapped around his fingers? SQH has to go.

What better test for MBJ's loyalty than ask him to break his favorite toy? SQH dies or they both die, it matters little to LBH. And this is just my personal hc, but I like the thought that LBH loses MBJ even if SQH dies. MBJ rationalizes it to himself, but he was more attached than he realized and only his oaths hold him there, loyal shadow at LBH's side.

NOW for that Mobei-stick AU.

In a way, MBJ is rescued into an already existing support network, a framework that has already helped someone who (although to a lesser degree) has suffered through much of what he has. They need to make adjustments, definitely, but they already went through much of this with SQQ and the end result is traumatized but mostly stable SQQ in a situationship with YQY and LQG (though for this I think I prefer YQY and SQQ as brothers and LQG as the suitor slowly realizing that he was mistaken about SQQ and falling in love despite his injuries). 

…And guess who forgot that LQG is supposed to be dead for PIDW, so let’s call that an early divergence - LQG clashes with MBJ a few times bc LQG is trying to get SQH and SQQ back from the demons and it’s through him that MBJ learns that YQY will fight the very world for SQQ’s safety if he has to. Must be nice having family who look out for you like that, he thinks. I can use this to keep SQH safe.

But all the support networks are for nothing if MBJ doesn’t have the motivation to get better. He already reached a level of detachment from the world while in captivity, he could pass on without regrets - and I have Thoughts about Airplane’s god!MBJ (essentially an ascended heavenly demon) visiting him a few times to make certain he endured, even if he never recognized himself in this primordial god of the night skies, so he might even be eligible for ascension too if they meddled enough. SQH becomes his guiding star, his anchor to the world - in his mind he already repaid every debt and wiped every slate clean, he had no expectations for any rescue or aid, so he has complicated feelings about SQH coming for him after all. If anything, he thought they would put him out of his misery if they ever overcome LBH. So at least at first he has no other motivation for working on his recovery than to cause SQH less stress, because SQH took it upon himself to see him back to his position as northern heir because he thinks he owes MBJ a life debt.

On the other side, SQH always chafed against how much power MBJ had over him, but now that the tables have turned he Does Not Like this. Not at all. Get back on your feet and start bossing him around again, you shithead, he doesn’t like being in your debt. MBJ insists there is no debt, but of course there is, otherwise why would SQH bother with such a stupid demon!!! Don’t you dare imply that he cares because he does not!!! (He’s in so much denial.)

It’s a weird situation where MBJ cares about SQH’s emotions first and only finds his own eventually along the way (and it’s a glacially slow slide from ‘this is my safe person I cherish them a lot’ to a point where he rediscovers his infatuation and falls in love and he’s independent enough that SQH accepts that it’s a feeling MBJ had before and it isn’t just a side effect of their current situation.)

SQH first really does think he’s here for that life debt, but he stays after MBJ starts becoming independent again - which is, physically speaking, far earlier than anyone expects because LGJ gets him a scroll with an ancient technique to form limbs from black ice. MBJ kinda withholds the information that he can do this for a while because 1. he doesn’t want to invalidate the work the humans are putting into his prosthetics and 2. said prosthetics (armored shells forged to go around the bones of his limbs that LBH kept as a trophy) are less energy-intensive to use so he prefers them to the ice - and makes up excuse after excuse so he doesn’t have to face his emotions about MBJ as long as possible.

Like. The whole thing is much too slow and drawn out for me to ever write in full - maybe I could do some oneshots from various points in the timeline though… - but the end state is very much Peak Lord SQH (who has somehow reformed his reputation along the way) and his husband MBJ ( he turns down the throne in favor of one of LGJ’s sons who doesn’t turn out to be a good-for-nothing after all, because the Peak Lords are ascending sometime in the next century and after all he went through, MBJ is allowed to be a little sticky and join SQH, as a treat).

[thegoldenavenger]

Here's a quick. Thing. They're All God's (except LBH) AU. This is like, the ending. no i dont explain anything. i just wanted lqg to get melted down and rebuilt. you know, as gods do. this does have an open/unsatisfactory endind just fyi haha

When he loses the first time, Liu Qingge refuses to acknowledge it. It doesn't matter, after all, as long as he tries again he can change something. He returns the second, third, fourth, fifth times.

He has lost count when he realizes that the something he has changed is in him. With the same heaving blood soaked breaths he coughs up at Luo Binghe's figure, something has been changed in him.

Of course. He cannot be the God of Breakthroughs if he cannot break through.

He keeps losing.

Each battle he marches into is another dig at his once spotless reputation. He feels his divinity and grace slough away from him like dried mud. Still he faces Luo Binghe every day.

It forges him into something else.

When Shen Yuan reawakens, not dead but Ascended, Liu Qingge stops his fruitless battles. 

Shen Jiu is with him. At some point the God had shed the title of Qingqiu as trees lose their autumn leaves. Still the God of Bitter Fall and Uneven Ground, of Unfair Advantages, but now also of Cunning Thought and Persistence. He hasn't changed, Liu Qingge realizes. He's just revealed more of who he is.

Shen Yuan is, as always, Shen Jiu's compliment: God of Bountiful Harvest and Smooth Travels, and of Cutting Words and Sloth.

Shen Yuan has, thoroughly, molded himself into the perfect God for his precious demonic pet. Luo Binghe will never want for a single thing ever again with the God of Easy Living walking by his side.

Liu Qingge wants to avoid them both. Everyone else is already aware, but from these two he wishes to hide his failures for just a little longer. However, the core of him is settled in such a way that he cannot find it in himself to pull away.

They want to see him.

It's no surprise that when Yue Qingyuan invites him to a banquet, Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan are there as well. As ever, Yue Qingyuan's bias shines through.

"What did you do?" Shen Jiu snarls from across the banquet hall.

"Who— oh Qingge!" Shen Yuan turns and catches sight of him as well.

Tension rises in Liu Qingge's body but—they've already seen. And if, somehow, they are too dense to understand, any one of their God siblings will explain it. Poorly. So Liu Qingge stays.

Shen Jiu is, of course disgusted. Shen Yuan intrigued.

"I thought once gods Ascend they do not change." He comments curiously.

"They don't." Shen Jiu hisses. "They can adapt perhaps. Split. Acquire or shed new epithets or old ones as we have. But they do not change. If they stop being what they are, then that God simply ceases to be."

"It's as it is." Liu Qingge shrugs. "I'm still a God—"

"Of cycles." Shen Jiu accuses.

"Reliability!" Shen Yuan insists. "Qingge is always dependable."

"It is no great thing if you can only depend on him to lose." Shen Jiu's dark gaze is calculating and Liu Qingge understands that, somehow, Shen Jiu knows the whole story already. That he simply needed to see Liu Qingge to fit the pieces together.

"He doesn't lose!" Shen Yuan defends, loyally. "Qingge has always been there when we needed him!"

Silence descends on the banquet hall like an awkward blanket.

"What, did—have I missed something?" Shen Yuan asks, glancing sharply around.

Yue Qingyuan, belatedly, ushers the rest of his guests out. Liu Qingge supposes he must be grateful that Luo Binghe isn't here to enjoy rubbing Liu Qingge's nose in it. Shen Jiu will, assuredly, have no problems doing it instead.

"It's exactly as Shen Jiu says." Liu Qingge starts. "Fighting Luo Binghe has irrevocably changed me." He says.

What he doesn't say: I cannot win against him now even if he deigned to throw the fight.

Perhaps, to Shen Yuan, the change isn't so dramatic. Shen Yuan had never wanted Liu Qingge to win that battle anyway, and Liu Qingge has ever been Shen Yuan's most reliable God-Brother.

Once upon a time, Liu Qingge was a War God. There were and still are many gods of war: strategy and prowess, blood and conquering, weapons and trade.

Liu Qingge was the breakthrough. The final push. The turning of tides. The culmination. He had never failed to turn a lost cause into victory, there had never been a battle lost to him if he meant to win it.

But then Shen Qingqiu became two, and then Luo Binghe built a shrine and Shen Yuan wasn't prepared for his tribulations and then—

Well.

Liu Qingge is a War God. Of Cycles, Shen Jiu says. Of Reliability, Shen Yuan insists. He is the God of forlorn hope, of having only one spear and one sword, of hunting phoenixes in mirrors. The same battle retread for the same reasons.

[ashes-and-pandora]

Kinktober 2023, SVSSS Only

For the sake of making it easier to keep track of this months fics and make an easy directory for being able to access only what you're interested in reading, here's my Kinktober collection for 2023, Scum Villian Edition, under the cut. Hopefully I'll remember to keep editing it with links and details as I continue to write. <3

Please enjoy the menu.

⚠️Dub/Noncon 💗 Fluffy/Cute (Still smutty tho) 🔥Very Spicy

10/1: Pegging (2,342 words) LBH x SQQ  ----- Binghe wants to do it face to face, but SQQ insists he's too big. One excellent idea from SHL later, they have a jade compromise.

10/2: Roleplay | Titfucking (2,087 words) LBH x SQQ  ----- Binghe gets jealous over SQQ dreaming about a woman, so he sets out to prove that he can do that better too.

10/3: Hate Sex (3,794 words) ⚠️ Bingge x SQQ ----- Bingge makes a guest appearance in SQQ's dream. They fight. They fuck.

10/4: Teratophilia | Rimming (3,190 words) 🔥 LBH x SQQ ----- SQQ wakes up in the middle of the night to find a suspiciously Binghe-like werewolf in his bed. Binghe might not be able to talk but SQQ still manages to get talked into it.

10/5: Omorashi (3,258 words)  LBH x SQQ ----- Binghe organizes an in-dream date in the modern style (taking notes from SQQ's dreams) but things go south in the parking garage.

10/6: Frottage (1,481 words) LBH x SQQ  ----- SQQ has a strangely vivid dream about the time he had to hide with Binghe in a coffin. 10/7: Stuck in Wall (2,492 words) 🔥 LBH x SQQ ----- SQQ: "I'm telling you, we have to fuck or I'll die in here."

 10/8: Master & Slave (3,103 words) ⚠️(mild elements) MBJ x SQH ----- SQH gets kidnapped and sold at a demon auction. His prayers for rescue turn a little...strange when he gets rubbed down with something beforehand.

10/9: Stripping (1005 words) 💗 LBH x LBH's Hand  ----- Binghe remembers a time he saw SQQ undress for a bath.  

10/10: Praise Kink (1,159 words) 💗 LBH x SQQ ----- Young Binghe gets flustered over being praised by his Shizun. However, the future doesn't go quite as he'd imagined as a boy.

10/11: Sensory Deprivation (1,540 words) ⚠️ Bingge x SQQ ----- SQQ finds himself pulled into a strange dream where he's been completely tied up by Bingge. He only hopes he can wake up again.

10/12: Somnophilia (1,347 words) ⚠️ (technically) 🔥 LBH x SQQ ----- Trying to feel good with a big puppy staring at you and saying embarrassing things all the time is hard. SQQ takes matters into his own hands to practice while Binghe sleeps.

10/13: Heartbeat (1,176 words) 💗 LBH x SQQ ----- SQQ listens to Binghe's heart beat and remembers why he loves him. Binghe can't keep his hands to himself.

10/14: Orgasm Denial (4,797 words) ⚠️🔥 Bingge x SQQ  ----- SQQ ends up back in that strange dream space and is tormented by Bingge using several 'toys'.

10/15: Shotgunning (2,891 words) 💗 Mobei-jun x SQH ----- Turns out MBJ's demon drugs impact humans a little differently.

10/16: Double Penetration in One Hole | Gags (3,395 words) 💗 Mobei-jun x SQH  ----- SQH doesn't remember writing that MBJ has two dicks, but he loses the ability to complain about it.

10/17: Threesome or moresome  (2,482 words)⚠️ LBH x SQQ + Bingge x SQQ ----- Trapped between two bodies, SQQ feels the sensations of both at once.

10/18: Spanking (2,794 words) LBH x SQQ ----- Binghe begs to try it, but it doesn't go the way SQQ expected.

10/19: Uniform (2,542 words) LBH x SQQ ----- Binghe tries out some of the outfits he's seen in SQQ's dreams.

10/20: Mind Control (4,917 words) ⚠️ Liu Qingge x SQQ ----- Liu Qingge has a bad time in the succubus cave. Or a good time. Hard to tell.

10/21: Panties & Lingerie | Tentacles (2,185 words) ⚠️ Solo SQQ ----- Curiosity gets the better of him, and SQQ tries out a mysterious set of lingerie that ends up...having a bit extra.

10/22: Intercrural Sex | Bondage (2,418 words) LBH x SQQ ----- SQQ insists it really is too big and too rough, so the boys explore their options.

10/23: Deepthroating & Facesitting (2,296 words) LBH x SQQ ----- LBH's insatiable appetite almost gets them in trouble during a camping trip.

10/24: Oviposition (2,772 words) ⚠️ Mobei-jun x SQH ----- SQH ends up in a spot of trouble and MBJ has to help him...get it out.

10/25: Edgeplay ⚠️ Bingge x SQQ ----- This time, Bingge won't let him go so easily. (Includes knifeplay, breathplay, and bondage)

10/26: Masturbation Solo LBH ----- Binghe wakes up in Shizun's body. He can't bear to look, but he can't keep his hands away.

10/27: Double Penetration in Two Holes ⚠️ SQQ x LBH + Bingge ----- SQQ gets caught in the middle of a fight over him.

10/28: Cockbulge Mobei-jun x SQH ----- SQH never thought something like this was possible. Much less that he'd like it this much.

10/29: Breathplay LBH x SQQ ----- LBH gives an underwater blowjob.

10/30: Overstimulation LBH x SQQ -----Every touch is just too much. Binghe's used to being the one crying, but seeing Shizun wet-streaked face and trembling, electric body is much better.

10/31: ???

[rukbat3]

Babylon 5 Rewatch - The War Prayer

This is a post I originally wrote several years ago for Mark Oshiro’s Mark Watches blog. I don’t really plan to edit them before posting, so there may be some references that don’t make sense. If you see words that look like gibberish, they are actually rot13, which was our way of discussing spoilers. There are plugins you can install to decode the text (Cryptext is the one I use), or you can copy/paste to rot13.com, or just ignore it.

Nothing much to say about this one; I find it pretty forgettable. In fact, it may even have been one of the ones we missed recording and I didn’t see until season 1 came out on DVD in 2002. Malcolm is a pretty one-note villain, and there’s never any real tension about what Ivanova is going to do, so … *shrug*

Disturbingly relevant for today’s political climate, though—more relevant than I ever thought it could be any previous time I watched the episode. Naq gur erfg bs gur frevrf vf tbvat gb or cerggl zhpu gur fnzr. :( It’s especially disturbing to watch Sinclair, our hero, brush off the Abbai Ambassador so dismissively, even though we know why he’s doing it. I really hope he tracked her down later to apologize and explain.

Favorite scene: Vir confronts Londo and tells him he’s making the wrong decision about Kiron and Aria. It’s nice to see Vir learn to assert himself a little, but the real draw of this scene for me is the insight we get into Londo’s thoughts as he is reevaluating some of his long-held beliefs. Reminiscing about his father, he says, “I went into his room, and he was sitting alone in the dark, crying. So I asked him what was wrong, and he said, ‘My shoes are too tight, but it doesn't matter, because I have forgotten how to dance.’ I never understood what that meant until now. My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance.”

This scene always makes me tear up a little. This isn’t the first glimpse we’ve gotten into Londo’s regret about the past and how it has made him into what he is today, abe vf vg gur ynfg, but it is the most beautiful. [TV movie] Ng yrnfg hagvy jr trg gb Va gur Ortvaavat. “Qrne ynql, V jbhyq ybir gb jnyx jvgu lbh ba n ornpu, fbzrjurer, sbe whfg svir zvahgrf. Ubj fgenatr, gb unir pbzr fb sne, naq gb jnag fb yvggyr.” Sbe fbzr ernfba V nyjnlf nffbpvngr gurfr gjb dhbgrf jvgu bar nabgure. Vs bayl Ybaqb unq yrnearq uvf yrffba urer.

[isaaccadrian]

Binghe's Dream World Prison

Shen Qingqiu is going about his normal days as Peak Lord of Qing Jing with his white lotus Luo Binghe. Everything is great and his disciples are all well behaved and learning well. Nothing seems out of place but for some reason, SQQ feels like something is... off.

He doesn't know what it is but something is most definitely off. He can feel it in his gut but he's having a hard time placing it. The feeling follows him throughout the day and even Binghe notices something is wrong with his shizun.

"Is something the matter?" his Binghe asks after setting down a tea tea laden with sweets. "Shizun seems to be distracted."

His soft, sweet Binghe, always worrying about his Shizun. SQQ smiles at his sweet, innocent lamb and pats his curly hair.

SQQ is trying hard to figure out why something is off but he still can't tell what it is. Well, it can't be too important if he can't remember it, he supposes.

"There's nothing wrong, Binghe," SQQ is quick to assure him. "Let's just rest and have some tea."

The days pass slowly and sweetly, like honey dripping from the sun but the niggling feeling never leaves SQQ until one day he's brushing his hair in front of a bronze mirror and notices a corner of something sticking out from the back of it.

Curious, SQQ turns over the bronze mirror and finds a piece of paper attached to it. Opening it up, he sees two words written on it in his own handwriting:

GET OUT

A chill sweeps through SQQ. Binghe has already cleaned the bamboo hut from top to bottom today and he's out practicing sword forms with the other disciples. There's no way he would have missed this. SQQ can't remember writing something like this before.

He's absorbed in trying to figure out what the note means and when he could have written such a thing that he doesn't notice footsteps behind him.

"Shizun?"

SQQ quickly stuffs the note in his sleeves and turns around to see Binghe standing right behind him.

"A-Ah!" SQQ stutters guiltily though he doesn't know why he feels the need to hide the note from LBH. "You're back already from your practice!"

"The hall masters dismissed us early today." LBH answers before staring a little too long at SQQ's sleeves.

The boy seems to let it go though and smiles innocently at his master. "Is there anything Shizun requires?"

"This master is fine," SQQ answers, trying to dispel his disciple's concerns. SQQ can feel his heart softening. His Binghe is always so concerned for his well-being.

He rewards his cute disciple with more head pats and even recites a couple of Binghe’s favorite poems while the boy offers to pin SQQ’s hair in place since SQQ became sidetracked. The note is pushed to the back of SQQ's mind but not forgotten.

After that incident, SQQ starts to notice other discrepancies. He hasn't seen any other peak lords in quite a while even though he knows for a fact that his meridians need to be cleared every so often by Liu Qingge.

In fact, his meridians feel the best they've ever felt since before Without a Cure. He doesn't know why that is when he clearly hasn't undergone any treatment in a very long time.

What's even weirder is that SQQ also knows that he can hear his disciples in the background but he has actually never seen any of his other disciples besides Luo Binghe. Every time he thinks to step out of the bamboo hut to search for his disciples, he seems to get sidetracked.

Always, he thinks of some other task he must take care of before he leaves or Luo Binghe conveniently pops into the bamboo hut and assigns himself a chore that SQQ must simply oversee Binghe do.

It starts to become a little bit frustrating to the point where SQQ takes out the note again, only this time a word has been added to the note that SQQ is extremely sure he did not add:

GET OUT. NOW.

Okay, now they have officially entered Freaky Territory and SQQ knows something is Very Wrong but he still doesn't know what. Obviously, the note is telling him he needs to leave but where? The bamboo hut? Qing Jing Peak? First things first, he needs to step out of the hut.

SQQ goes to do exactly that but before he can actually step foot outside, Luo Binghe is right there, blocking his way.

"Oh, is Shizun trying to leave?" his sweet white lotus asks but this time, SQQ actually notices that there is something OFF about LBH's tone.

He doesn't sound like his precious little lamb anymore. In fact, he sounds like someone else SQQ feel like he's familiar with but he can't put his finger on. But he does know that it makes the hind part of his brain fire an alert that has him backing away from LBH.

The move doesn't go unnoticed by LBH who seems almost... disappointed by his shizun's reluctance in his presence.

"Who... are you?" SQQ asks because this is not his LBH. It can't be. His LBH is cute and sweet and most definitely does not have red demonic eyes.

"Why, Shizun," LBH replies in a mocking voice. "This lowly disciple is hurt. Do you not recognize your Binghe?"

SQQ doesn't even give an answer and turns to jump out of the window of his bamboo hut but before he can even try, his feet are frozen in place.

He can't move. It feels like every muscle in his legs have been held in place. LBH stalks up to him and as he does so, the image of his white lotus Binghe sheds into a more demonic and blackened version of his Binghe. SQQ's eyes widen as he finally remembers.

"T-This can't be happening," SQQ whispers to himself. "I-I died."

He's clutching his head, a sudden splitting migraine attacking his brain. SQQ is very sure that he self-destructed himself to save LBH from a qi deviation. He should be dead or in a Sun and Moon Dew plant body.

LBH seems to be triggered by this sentence and he quickly pulls SQQ into his arms, enveloping him in his now much larger body.

"No," LBH snarls. "You are not dead! You're alive and safe and here with me now!" SQQ doesn't understand. His brain is still pounding. Everything hurts.

"H-How-?" SQQ's eyes flutter. And then he finally looks around the bamboo hut and takes in the imperfectly perfect surroundings. "Are we in a dream? Are we dream walking, Binghe?"

"Shizun is as clever as always," Binghe smiles, relaxing his hold on SQQ.

He sweeps his arms grandiosely across the lush greenery surrounding the bamboo hut.

"Do you like it, Shizun?" LBH asks excitedly, like a little kid searching for praise, "I made it just like you remember it, not a single leaf out of place. Everything here was made just for us."

"Why are we here, Binghe?" SQQ asks. The pounding in his head still hurts but it's slowly getting better the longer he stays in Binghe's arms.

"You're safe here, Shizun," Binghe explains patiently. "Nothing will hurt us here. No one from Huan Hua or Cang Qiong or any of those other self-righteous cultivators that would seek to tear us apart."

"But..." SQQ wants to ask why Binghe is so adamant to protect him. Wasn't Binghe trying to seek revenge on him?

But now his black lotus is looking at him like he is hung the very moon and stars.

"I know Shizun must be very confused right now but know that I will always keep you safe," Binghe tells him softly. Binghe holds SQQ's face between his hands and tilts it up to meet his.

"Shizun, I love you," Binghe tells him sweetly. "This disciple has always loved you."

SQQ's brain completely turns to white noise. What? What in the FUCK??? The stallion protagonist of the most trashiest het novel he has ever read is in love with him??? How the fuck did that happen? No, when did that happen? And why the fuck is Binghe's face drawing closer to his own right now? Before SQQ can stop himself, he involuntarily flinches and Binghe freezes from his attempt to kiss his master.

Red eyes grow dark and Binghe backs away but maintains his hold on SQQ.

"Ah, I see that I still have not earned Shizun's regard yet," Binghe comments in an unreadable tone.

"Ah, no. That's not-"

"This disciple will try harder to improve his standing in Shizun's eyes."

SQQ is still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he bent the stallion protagonist. Give him a moment, goddamnit. No wait, that's not the important bit. The important bit is that he is still alive. Somehow.

But asleep through whatever mind melting dream magic Binghe is using.

"How long have I been asleep?" SQQ asks instead of touching on the fact that the protagonist is in love with him (OH MY GOD). Binghe's face shutters and he seems hesitant to answer.

An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of SQQ's stomach.

"Binghe, tell me," SQQ orders with a note of urgency, "How long have I been asleep?"

"Five years," Binghe finally answers.

"Five years?!" SQQ nearly screeches. "Binghe, you need to wake me up right now. Cang Qiong must be in an uproar now. I need to go see my peak and ensure that they are all well and-"

"No."

SQQ does a double take.

Binghe has his head dipped down, his fluffy bangs shadowing his eyes.

"No?" SQQ asks. "What do you mean no?"

"No means no, Shizun," Binghe says.

Binghe looks back up at him with teary eyes that are threatening to spill over. Oh no, don't do that. Binghe knows just how weak SQQ is to Binghe's tears.

"Aren't we happy here, Shizun?" Binghe asks beseechingly with a watery smile. "Didn't you miss these days when Binghe was your innocent disciple taking shelter under your wings?"

It is true that SQQ misses his precious white lotus Binghe but also, it's been five fucking years.

He needs to find Shang Qinghua and find out the state of the plot now that he's completely fucked it up with bending the protagonist (OH MY GOD).

"I do..." SQQ hedges, "But all dreams must end, Binghe."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why does this dream need to end?" Binghe asks in an eerie tone of voice. The tears have dried on his face and he stares at SQQ with such desperate longing. "This dream doesn't have to end if I don't allow it to. We can be alone together here. Forever."

And the unsettling feeling in his belly reaches an all time high.

"Are you worried that I will not be safe in the real world?" SQQ questions uncertainly. "Because I can assure you, if I ask Sect Leader Yue Qingyuan or Peak Lord Liu Qingge to assist us, they will help clear these charges against us."

Far from appeasing Binghe, these words only seem to make him angrier.

His hands tighten painfully around SQQ's shoulder and he winces.

"Even though this one has offered Shizun the perfect safe haven to our problems, why does Shizun mention those other men in the same breath?" Binghe questions with a dark look.

"They can help us, Binghe!"

"How? Like how they helped Shizun when he was thrown into the Water Prison?"

"That you helped get me there!"

"That wasn't my intention!" Binghe screams into his face. The man is breathing hard above him, face pinched and red. "I didn't mean to."

SQQ says nothing, letting Binghe calm himself down from their little shouting match before he says in a quieter voice. "You're going to have to wake us up eventually."

"No, I don't have to," Binghe replies with a smile. "And soon enough, you won't even remember asking me this."

SQQ blinks. "What-?"

Binghe places a hand over SQQ's eyes.

"It's time for you to go back to sleep now, Shizun," Binghe says. The next thing SQQ knows, the world has faded to black.

--

Shen Qingqiu is going about his normal days as Peak Lord of Qing Jing with his white lotus Luo Binghe. Everything is great and his disciples are all well behaved and learning well. Nothing seems out of place but for some reason, SQQ feels like something is... off.

Everything seems normal until SQQ finds a piece of paper stuck to the back of his bronze mirror. On it are words written in his own handwriting even though he has no recollection of writing anything like this:

CALL THE SYSTEM

SQQ, confused, calls out. "System? What's a System?"

A blue screen pops in front of him and Shang Qinghua's face is on it. Suddenly, SQQ's head bursts into a splitting headache and he remembers.

"Cucumber bro!" Shang Qinghua calls out in relief. "Thank God! I've been trying to contact you for forever now. Where the hell have you been?"

"Not so loud," SQQ groans in pain but he's just as relieved to see a familiar face, "Your stallion protagonist trapped me in some sort of looping dream sequence."

"Wait a minute, you're dreaming right now?" Shang Qinghua asks incredulously. "How in the fuck?"

"I don't fucking know, these are your rules we're playing by, you hack author," SQQ grouses. "Listen, we don't have much time. I don't know where my body is in the real world."

"You have to find me and take me back," SQQ orders quickly. "You have to get Mu Qingfang to wake me the fuck up and end this nightmare."

"You got it bro!" Shang Qinghua salutes him before he suddenly squeaks in fright. SQQ is confused until a shadow looms over him.

"And what is Shizun doing, hm?" Binghe asks in a silky deceptively calm voice.

SQQ quickly turns around. "Binghe!"

"Why is Shizun talking to Shang shishu?" Binghe asks, hands balling into fists before relaxing at his sides. He looks like a caged tiger, pacing back and forth.

"Holy shit, he can see the System?" Shang Qinghua whisper screams in horror. SQQ is also terrified because that means Binghe has surpassed the System in terms of power.

[System would like to advise User Shen Yuan to run now]

"Shen... Yuan?" Binghe tilts his head in interest.

But SQQ has already taken the System's advice and THROWS himself out of the nearest window. He runs down the peak and into the bamboo forest. He doesn't know where the fuck he's running to but the more distance he puts between him and LBH the better.

"System, please tell me you have a way out of here," SQQ begs his stupid System to be useful just this once.

[Answering User Shen, System can offer a one time cheat code {Blue Pill or Red Pill?} to escape from the protagnist's dreamscape]

"Yes, please and thank you!"

"SHIZUN!" an unholy roar of pure rage rings from behind him.

A blue and red colored pill appears before him and he quickly grabs it. Before he can shove it down his throat though, a hand closes over his own and squeezes so hard, he can feel his bones creaking.

"Shizun, don't go!" Binghe grabs him around the waist and pulls him into a tight embrace. SQQ wonders why Binghe has to physically restrain him. Can't he use his blood parasites or dream magic like he used last time?

But then he realizes the System in front of him has a countdown clock. The System is interfering with the dreamscape to give him time to escape. SQQ deduces that the cheat code has a time limit and he has to hurry up and take the pill NOW.

Before he can shake off Binghe's hand on his though, he feels something wet sliding down his robes. Binghe's face is buried in his shoulder and the man is sobbing loudly into it.

"Please, Shizun," Binghe begs, his voice a small broken thing. He sounds like a lost little boy. "Please, just stay with me."

"Binghe..." SQQ glances nervously at the countdown clock. He only has two minutes left. He has to take the pill now if he's ever going to have a chance of escaping this neverending dream.

"Why can't it be me?" Binghe pulls his face away from SQQ's shoulder. "Why can't it ever be me?"

The torn look on his face is even worse up close. Binghe's expression is one of complete and utter defeat, red eyes dulled as if he knows that SQQ will never ever choose him.

"I love you, Shizun," Binghe cries loudly, screams it into the air like that will somehow make it even more true. "I created this world, pored over every detail, so that you and I could be together without boundaries. And yet, you still choose every other man besides me."

"It hurts, Shizun," Binghe says helplessly. "It hurts to see you choose someone else every single time we repeat this. Why can't it be me, just this once?"

"Binghe..." SQQ's heart trembles for his poor pitiful boy. Binghe's hands release his. The countdown clock turns red.

One minute left.

"No more," Binghe finally gives up, a soft broken smile on his lips. "No more, Shizun. You win. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep destroying us anymore."

Binghe backs away.

"You can leave now."

SQQ feels his resolve wavering. This was the boy he had raised from a small precious seed. This was the young man who he threw into the very depths of hell. This was the man who had annihilated himself over and over again, building and rebuilding, just to have a chance with SQQ.

The thing is... SQQ remembers all those confessions, in each and every iteration of the dream. He remembers the devotion and the love that poured from Binghe each and every time he laid his broken damaged heart for SQQ to play with. And like the tide sweeping into the chasms of SQQ's own heart, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he felt a split second of joy, when Binghe had confessed to him, each and every time.

And maybe, that's not enough to build a relationship on. Maybe, this will end with them destroying each other completely, but SQQ has done stupider things and doesn't he owe it to Binghe to choose him, just this once? SQQ slowly relaxes his grip...

And the countdown clock reaches zero just as the pill drops out from his lax hand.

"Alright, Binghe," SQQ says, his heart racing in his chest as his precious shattered boy looks up at him. "I hear you. I hear you, and I am yours."

Binghe blinks, wide eyes and uncomprehending, like he can't quite believe that SQQ just agreed to stay with him. Tears begin to pour from Binghe's eyes again and he quickly pulls SQQ back into his arms, "Shizun!"

SQQ smiles and gently returns the embrace which seems to make Binghe hold him even tighter. "There now, how can my Binghe still be a crybaby at this age, hm?"

At the mention of "his" Binghe, the man lets out a broken sound and before SQQ can react, his mouth is captured in Binghe's own. It's a kiss with no finesse and no skill, more ardent desperation and ravenous pining instead. SQQ can't help but melt into the kiss.

"Thank you, Shizun," Binghe kisses all over his lips and face in between his sobs, "Thank you for choosing me at last."

--

Shen Qingqiu is going about his normal days as Peak Lord of Qing Jing with his black lotus Luo Binghe. Everything is great and his disciples are all well behaved and learning well.

They're sitting underneath the shade of a blossoming haitang tree. SQQ is weaving the fallen branches into a crown. Once he has each and every blossom where he wants them, he perches his new creation atop Binghe's head.

"There we are," SQQ smiles in satisfaction.

Binghe holds onto his new crown in awe and smiles back at his beloved.

"How do I look, Shizun?"

"Like a king," SQQ replies back.

Binghe clasps SQQ's hand in his own and tenderly kiss the back of it. "Then you are my queen."

[mediumsizedpidegon]

this is an uhinged crossover but. PIDW Luo Binghe finds Xin Mo and makes a portal to get out of the Abyss. Except– he's been in a constant cycle of hurt and conflict with no rest in between. So maybe he fucks it up. Maybe Xin Mo is at fault. It doesn't matter. The end result is the same: Luo Binghe opens a portal and it splits him apart and spits him out different, in a strange, new place. (Luo Binghe's half-human, half-demon. Now half-ghost is added to the list.)

I just really like the idea of Luo Binghe being removed from his suffering– both the Abyss and the cultivation world in which his abuser is a very influential figure. And he's angry, he wants revenge, but Xin Mo's gone, broken by the act of being brought to the Ghost Zone. What does he do, now that that avenue of revenge isn't available to him anymore? How do you cope, when the one thing propelling you forward is suddenly barred from you? What could you do when your body is changed against your will (when something you were always meant to be but didn't know comes forth) with the breaking of single seal– demon traits rising under your skin like a wolf shedding sheep's clothing? what do you when you're somewhere unfamiliar and foreign and you body is changing again, and this time you don't know what you are, what you're becoming? It's not like he could think of any of this in the Abyss. He was in survival mode. And now he's somewhere else and it's not safe, but it's not not safe, and Luo Binghe's hit his limit.

It's just– satisfying, to imagine a world where Luo Bingge gets to fall apart fully and heal properly. To imagine a world and a place where Luo Bingge is recognized as a child and allowed to be one. (maybe heavenly demons age slow. maybe Luo Bingge is growth-stunted by the Abyss. Maybe he's in a weird grey area age between child and adult. who knows. But either way, Luo Bingge registers as a child ghost to other ghosts.)

Also. Danny finding someone else who's like him that isn't evil godfather. It's not just Ellie (Dani) and him anymore. And Ellie technically never died like Danny, so......There's another one! Another person who died in a doorway between places and didn't come back all the way.

I imagine that once LBH gets less wary of adults/authority figures, he ends up really liking Frostbite (probably because Danny dragged him there for a medical checkup) and Nocturn (because same hat!! same powers!! he gives good advice!!)

And because I lost my mind over "Childhood" by Marsalias– read it on ao3, it is SO GOOD– which follows the premise that child ghosts copy attributes of adults they like/trust: LBH with ram horns (Nocturn) made of black ice (Frostbite/the yetis)!!!

I don't know about why my mind gravitated towards this specifically. I just wanted Luo Bingge to heal and have trusted adults and friends in his life. the idea of LBH + crazy dp worldbuilding potential and ghost powers is just a bonus.

[wildwoof]

Koga is happy when playing the guitar.

Koga is even happier when playing guitar with Band BB.

Koga is happiest when getting to play with Rei lbh.

Even when Rei's too busy with work, since he is a graduate now in the adult world, he's understanding. Sure, he gets a little bummed out for a short period of time, but he doesn't let it get in the way of him playing. That's the biggest thing to him: just being able to play.

Can almost say it's a way to calm himself down & soothe him. It's very similar to spending time in ANIMALS. Being with Leon makes him happy. Playing his guitar & being with Leon. But when it comes to his happiest states: those revolve around UNDEAD & Rei. While his companionships to Adonis & Kaoru matter to him just as much, there's always a bigger place in his heart for the bond to Rei.

But, Koga has been making more friends & expanding out from JUST Rei & Adonis ( & Kaoru growing in there too ), which he finds his happiness spending time with. Thus, while he is happiest when playing with Rei, he finds different happiness when playing just with Band BB.

Anyways, I was asked to see if I could get Koga & Rei to play a duet. The effort... is not quite them playing at the same time, but it's close.

[admirableadmiranda]

Sangsang!!! I love you and your content but despite your bioname, I haven't seen much svsss content from your blog. (Idk, maybe it just coz I have so many blogs I follow that svsss content gets downed by mdzs ones and other fandoms) So here's a shameless ask, asking you to ramble anything you like about svsss, you fav characs, your fav tropes, your fav fics, your fav chaps, anything, please ramble about it to your hearts content. This one is thanking you for your time, hope you have an amazing day ❤️

Awww. thank you very much anon! I appreciate the ask and the well wishes so much, and will take advantage of them in a moment!

I will say that I don't really do much SVSSS content, not compared to MDZS and that's for a pretty simple reason.

For me, both SVSSS and TGCF gave me enough in the text. I didn't really feel the need after I finished the books to seek out fanfic or write my own to fill the void after I'd finished the books and the journeys with these characters (though I have enjoyed fics of both and do like reblogging artwork). For me, the book was enough, I didn't need the fandom afterwards because it had captivated me that much. MDZS did, and continues to hold my heart still more than a year and a half later. It isn't that I don't love SVSSS, cause I really do and have recommended it to several friends who have also gone on to love it, it just didn't fill this hole that I needed and still need to fill today that MDZS does.

But I do really like my Scum Villain, so I will ramble a little bit!

I adore both Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. I love that they're kind of disasters of men who find that even though in some ways they are both broken inside, that it just doesn't matter so much together. Their jagged edges fit together and while sometimes they get a bit scraped on them, it really is worth it to them to stay together and keep smoothing each other's sharp hurts.

I love the whole premise of it, and how well MXTX sells what is a very sad story at points as a comedy. We have the misunderstandings and disconnection between SQQ and LBH, we have both of them mourning the other so deeply that it breaks them in ways that scare the others around them for them, we have the part where the protagonist dies twice, even though he gets revived both times, we have a couple who I genuinely see them that if death happens to be more permanent the next time around, the other just curling up and dying of heartbreak because they don't want to live in a world without the other. I'm kind of a sucker for those types of couples, the ones who life is just not worth it without the other to share it with. Of course I adore couples who live full lives where the other just makes it better, but they live on without the other, but there is something about the type of couple that Bingqiu is that just get my heart.

Chapters? I adore Shen Qingqiu's death chapter, I adore the Holy Mausoleum and also the whole final climax. Extras, I have really loved Bing-ge vs Bing-mei and the Moshang extra. I confess I didn't really get Moshang until I read the 7Seas translation and that was really fun. I love that they are the perfect example of a couple with two skillsets each, none of them being communication.

But honestly what I love most about SVSSS is that it's a narrative that is wholly content in where it is. It knows what it's supposed to be, it certainly knows what it is lampooning and it invites me to come along for the ride and be content where it ends. It is a book that I can happily reread knowing that every time, I will be content with the journey it takes me on.

Thanks for the ask!

[lildoodlecat]

I posted 2,958 times in 2022

That's 1,521 more posts than 2021!

201 posts created (7%)

2,757 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lordofcalamity

@anxiousgod

@hungrydolphin91

@fontasticcrablettes

I tagged 2,939 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#tales of zestiria - 603 posts

#mikleo - 428 posts

#sorey - 394 posts

#f - 306 posts

#mdzs - 303 posts

#tgcf - 275 posts

#sormik - 248 posts

#svsss - 244 posts

#wei wuxian - 202 posts

#jay yells - 196 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#tgcf is my favorite series ever since i read it back in february i hope to inflict it upon as many friends as possible (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes I think abt how neither Shang Qinghua OR Mobei Jun are going by their real names

Shang Qinghua? The name of the character Airplane transmigrated into!! (Tho there are some hc's that sqh was his self insert w/ his real name and those are fun)

Mobei Jun? Inherited name!!! Jun is just a suffix akin to lord or smth (don't quote me on that I don't have my book handy I just remember it's high status) and Mobei is passed down through his family to whoever is to inherit the power from their predecessor

Like wtf you two you live like this?? Anyway they should kiss and/or fuck abt it

114 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I finished rereading the main story of scum villain and got emotional fuuuck

how are bingqiu so!!!! how dare they do this to me fucking

"This time, no matter where you wish to go, this master will accompany you."

crying wtff

I also was once again reminded that zzl is a minor character ;w; my best boy..

Anyway waiting for volume 4 for the extras ✨

125 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

Luo Binghe nodded. He had more to say, but he sensed something slightly off. Shen Qingqiu seemed to be paying extra attention to him today. He couldn't help but smile.

"Why does Shizun keep looking at me?" he asked. "Could it be that this disciple was gone for so long that Shizun also missed him?"

"I'm not allowed to look at someone I raised?" asked Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe chortled. "Of course Shizun is allowed. Am I pleasing to look at?"

Shen Qingqiu shook his head while smiling, and he considered his next words.

one of my favorite scenes from when lbh was still a 'white lotus' as sqq would say ✨

too bad his shizun is so dense with internalized homophobia and dumbass he doesn't even know lbh is flirting with him at all,,

ah sqq you are such a silly man I love watching you fuck around and find out

130 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#2

"the fact that sqq ended up marrying blorbo from his books"

ik it's been said but putting it like this has me losing it sjxkdk

Truly a man living the dream (with the catch of 'all the other shit that happens to him first')

205 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when it comes to mxtx novels they're all a lil (maybe a lot) fucked up and dark in their own ways but there is a key difference in how I enjoy them

mdzs and tgcf: a little silly sometimes but also gripping story and ✨romance✨

svsss: caught between laughing my ass off and just trying to hold on to whatever the fuck is happening bc scum villain does weird shit and then just keeps going

220 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

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